Smackdown – July 25, 2002: Who’s That Jumping Off the Cage?

Smackdown
Date: July 25, 2002
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s another big night for Smackdown as we have the in ring debut of Rey Mysterio as well as the Smackdown debut of Brock Lesnar, who Stephanie stole this past Monday. We’re also getting ready for Summerslam and that’s the best thing that could happen after a rather dreadful summer. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video of Stephanie introducing the show in a seizure inducing moment. See, Stephanie is all hip and cool and caters to the youth of the country with her hipness.

Opening sequence.

Kurt Angle vs. Mark Henry

Henry shoves him around to start and just glares him Kurt for trying a suplex. Kurt is sat on top where Henry pats him on the head for fun. A missed charge allows Kurt to hit the first suplex and really take over. Another powerslam puts Angle down but here’s Lesnar to F5 Henry for the DQ. There was no one but Angle to be put in this spot right?

Angle follows Lesnar to the back and asks what was up with that. Brock was just trying to help Kurt out after Angle blew it at Vengeance. Now that Brock is here, Kurt’s time as the top star on Smackdown is over.

Stacy Keibler goes in to see Stephanie and offers to help her in any way possible. Stephanie has her answer the door, which is a flower delivery from Eric Bischoff, who will be here tonight. The vase is thrown against the wall.

Reverend D-Von vs. Big Valbowski

Hardcore Holly is in Val’s corner. Venis starts fast with a clothesline and big boot but both of them fall out to the floor in a crash. Back in and Venis gets two off a fisherman’s suplex with Batista making the save. The partners get in a fight on the floor, leaving Val to grab a Blue Thunder Bomb for the pin.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as D-Von’s reverend gimmick has basically stopped save for the theme song (which is still awesome). Venis and Holly are fine for a low level veteran team but I can’t picture them going any further than a single title shot and maybe not even on pay per view.

Batista cleans house post match. Just let him leave D-Von already and go after someone bigger.

On Stephanie’s orders, Stacy sends security after Edge.

Lance Storm and Christian are ready for their first title defense against the Rock and Hulk Hogan. That’s quite the step up.

Stephanie catches up with Edge, who assures her he isn’t leaving to sign with Raw. Instead he was going to the production truck with a tape. The tape starts rolling and it’s a countdown clock with about an hour and thirty seven minutes on it. That’s how long there is left in the show and in that time, Edge is going to get his hands on Chris Jericho inside a cage. Wait WHAT? It’s a video tape that seems to start with 97 minutes left and Edge got it into the tape player EXACTLY ON TIME??? Including being stopped by security and talking to Stephanie? She had to write this idea. Like, she had to. Only Stephanie could see this working.

Angle is on the phone with someone named Eric. It’s going to be his brother isn’t it?

Rikishi vs. Albert

Albert bicycle kicks him in the head at the bell for no cover. A few corner splashes set up a Vader Bomb for two but Rikishi gets in a DDT. The running hip attack in the corner sets up a Stinkface, followed by the Rump Shaker for the pin. What in the world is up with pushing Rikishi like this?

Stephanie (yes again) calls Angle and demands an explanation via voicemail.

Remember last week when we saw a video saying Rey Mysterio debuts in a week? Everything is still on schedule.

Tag Team Titles: The Rock/Hulk Hogan vs. Lance Storm/Christian

The Canadians are defending. Hogan and Storm start things off and guess what the fans are chanting. Storm gets in a clothesline to start and is quickly pinballed back and forth by right hands from the challengers. Wait, we need to stop and look at a worried Stephanie. Ok now that we’re done with that, let’s talk about how worried she is! Rock gets double teamed for a bit until a Samoan drop drops Storm like a Samoan.

Test breaks up the People’s Elbow though and you can hear the energy come out of the building. Back in and Test cuts off another comeback, followed by a superkick to give Storm two. Hogan comes in for the save but gets distracted to the floor by Test. Therefore there’s no one for Rock to tag so he waits about ten seconds and makes the hot tag on the second attempt. A double belly to back gets two on Hogan but it’s Hulk Up time, only to have Lesnar come in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Not the worst here but Rock could have been almost anyone. You really don’t need to tie this in to the Summerslam match as the idea is more about treating Brock like a monster. The match was as good as an average tag team facing two of the biggest stars of all time was going to be.

Lesnar orders Hogan’s limo driver to take himself and Heyman instead.

The announcers recap the talent stealing story. Would it kill Cole to wear a suit?

John Cena thinks Test has ugly teeth and gets slapped in the mouth for it.

Stephanie comes up to Jericho and it turns into an ad for the new Fozzy CD.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

I remember thinking that it was a different Mysterio since he had the mask back on. Rey starts fast with his variety of headscissors (smart way to go) but Chavo sends him into the corner to take over. We hit an abdominal stretch for a bit before Chavo drives him back first into the apron. Rey has enough of being on defense and busts out a big flip dive to knock Chavo silly. A sweet cradle gets two but a Gory Bomb plants Rey for the same. That goes nowhere so it’s the 619 (no pop yet and Tazz calls it the Six Nineteen) into the West Coast Pop (no name either) to give Rey his first win.

Rating: C. This could have been better by letting Rey fly around more but this is WAY past the point where he blew the doors off the place. That being said, he’s miles better than almost anyone in the division and it was another big name from WCW that could actually mean something in the future. In other words, it’s potential, which isn’t something you can never have enough of in wrestling.

In the back, Test lays Mysterio out.

John Cena vs. Test

Cena goes right for him to start but a hard knee to the ribs slows him down. A quick DDT gets Test out of trouble but let’s talk about Bischoff again! A Jericho style flying forearm drops Test again and the ProtoBomb gets two. Back up and Test tries a powerbomb but gets sunset flipped to give Cena another upset.

Rating: C-. I’m a Test fan (I think there are three of us) so I liked this a bit more than I should have. That being said, Cena really, really needs a finisher outside of a fluke rollup. That’s all he’s used to win so far and while it’s not great, the ProtoBomb would be fine for a finisher until he gets something better. Cena is good enough at the moment but he needs some upgrades.

Test kicks him in the face post match.

Stephanie calls Angle and basically rips him apart for not calling her back. If he’s going to Raw with Eric, the least he could do is tell her face to face. It’s going to be his brother isn’t it?

Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Inside a cage and this is actually joined in progress. You don’t see that too often in a big match. Jericho goes head first into the cage and Edge rips some skin off his chest with chops. A spear up against the cage makes things worse but Jericho sidesteps a second attempt to send Edge into the steel. That means a nasty cut on Edge’s head and a sleeper drop gets two.

Back up and Edge ducks another charge to send Jericho into the cage but Edge can’t get out quite yet. A sitout gordbuster (not an inverted powerbomb Tazz) gets two on Jericho as they’re already trading big moves, though there’s not a lot of drama yet. Cole: “You’ve got to give the businesswoman Stephanie McMahon a lot of credit!” Well of course we do! We haven’t talked about her all match and just to be clear, she’s a totally professional businesswoman and our role model.

Edge escapes the Walls so Jericho goes for the door, giving us the fairly standard “heel grabs the chair right next to the door” spot. A very loud chair shot gets two with Edge’s spear connecting for the same. Both guys head to the top for a super bulldog from Jericho and it’s time for a double breather. Jericho goes up again and gets pulled right back down with a super electric chair for a nasty looking crash. Both guys are down but it’s Edge getting up over the top for the escape before Jericho can get out the door.

Rating: B-. This wasn’t the best cage match in the world as there wasn’t enough build to the big spot trading section. Edge going over clean is the only call here and now he’s beaten Angle and Jericho in back to back feuds. That’s how you build someone up and it’s a good sign when the fans are responding to someone rising up the ranks like this.

Post match the Un-Americans come in for the beatdown. Cena tries to make a save but instead it’s Mysterio diving off the cage to take everyone down.

Bischoff is in the parking lot so HERE COMES STEPHANIE! She tries to get into the limo while he talks about knocking Stephanie out. The limo pulls away with Eric laughing along with someone we can’t see. Angle comes up and Stephanie is thrilled because IT WAS HIS BROTHER ON THE PHONE! GEE! SHOCKING INDEED! Stephanie wants to know who is in the limo to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. I know I keep harping on this but Stephanie is already killing these shows. It feels like we have to stop and see whatever nonsense she’s up to almost every five minutes and it boils down to this Raw vs. Smackdown show. What that ignores though is the fact that you can watch both shows and not miss anything. The pay per views give you the payoff to all the feuds and the TV shows are on the same nights.

Why should I care if Bischoff and Stephanie are stealing talent from the other show? It doesn’t help that it’s treated as the biggest story in the company because that means we don’t really have an option other than watching As Stephanie’s World Turns. The wrestling wasn’t bad but it really feels like it’s a few miles behind the big story, which isn’t interesting.

Main Event – December 22, 2016: Why the Cruiserweights Don’t Work

Main Event
Date: December 22, 2016
Location: Schottenstein Center, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Austin Aries

I’m curious to see what they’re going to do with what should be a holiday show. I know we already had one of those last week but shouldn’t that have been taking place this week instead? Either way we’re at one of the last shows before the end of the year and it’s hard to guess what we might get here, save for some uninteresting lower card matches. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Goldust vs. Curtis Axel

Goldust, who apparently debuted before Tom was born (according to Aries at least), works on the arm to start and grabs a powerslam to send Axel outside. Now it’s time for Curtis to work on the arm as I guess he’s a heel again this week. R-Truth plays cheerleader on the floor as Goldust comes back with a spinebuster to put both guys down. Ten right hands in the corner have Axel in more trouble and the Final Cut wraps Axel up at 5:21.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here but that’s what Main Event is for now that Jinder Mahal seems to be getting a small push on Raw. Why Mahal is the one getting that spot isn’t clear but I’m sure general idiocy can be blamed on some level. That being said, what did Axel do to deserve all these losses? He can’t even beat Goldust anymore?

Back to Raw for the first time.

Here’s New Day to address their title loss. They’re cool with losing the titles because Ric Flair couldn’t become a sixteen time champion without losing fifteen times. Big E.: “And that’s Charlotte in a month.” After declaring that they still rock, here are the new champions to interrupt. Sheamus and Cesaro are already bickering over who won last night so New Day insults Sheamus a bit more.

Cesaro on the other hand has catlike reflexes and is strong like a……someone help Big E. out. Cesaro: “Like an ox?” Kofi was thinking more like a carpenter ant who can lift seven times his own weight. They bicker a lot with Woods talking about how much merchandise they have at the moment. Cue Anderson and Gallows to talk about how sick they are of the New Day nerds, only to be cut off by the Shining Stars. A brawl breaks out and you can book the eight man tag from here.

Shining Stars/Anderson and Gallows vs. Cesaro/Sheamus/New Day

This is joined in progress with Epico hitting a nice double underhook gutbuster on Kofi. Gallows and Anderson take turns on Kingston as Saxton thinks Cesaro and Sheamus had one of the greatest accomplishments in the history of the division last night. This is why people make fun of you Byron. Anderson spikes Kofi and we take a break.

Back with the Shining Stars diving onto the champs and the Boot of Doom getting two on Kofi. Big E. comes in to clean house but Sheamus tags himself in, setting up an assisted White Noise for two on Epico. Cesaro comes in and swings Primo into the Sharpshooter for the submission at 10:46.

Rating: C. That’s your tag division people: the bickering champs, the bald guys who put “ski” at the end of random words, the jobbers and the team that is better than all of them put together. New Day is in a weird place now as they need something new to do but I’m not sure how they’re going to go fight outside of the division.

From Raw again.

Here’s Charlotte to address winning the title back last night. She goes into a big speech about how no one is on her level because she’s a guaranteed win on pay per view. This brings out Bayley and Charlotte isn’t pleased. Bayley knows Sasha vs. Charlotte was the greatest rivalry of all time but now it’s time for the Bayley vs. Charlotte rivalry to begin.

Last night was all about the scoreboard and Bayley is 2-0 against Charlotte, including at Survivor Series earlier this year. Charlotte put up four fingers last night for the Four Horsewomen but Bayley didn’t come up with the rest of them because she just wasn’t good enough. The challenge is issued and Charlotte actually agrees to fight right now.

Bayley vs. Charlotte

Non-title. Charlotte works the arm to start and puts Bayley in trouble with the figure four headscissors. A headlock gets Bayley out of trouble and she rides Charlotte on the mat. We even get a little strut before Charlotte is sent outside. Back from a break with Charlotte ramming Bayley face first into the mat over and over.

A chinlock keeps Bayley in trouble but she fights out of the corner and gets in her sliding clothesline. Charlotte sends her into the corner again but the moonsault only gets two. Bayley reverses a chop into a backslide (with Charlotte’s shoulder clearly up) to put Charlotte away at 14:45. Graves points out the shoulder being up and replays confirm it.

Rating: D+. This was actually one of the sloppier matches I’ve seen in a good while. Maybe it was nerves or Charlotte being a bit tired after last night but this really didn’t work as well as I was expecting. I don’t think Bayley gets the title at the Royal Rumble but the big match at Wrestlemania has a lot of potential.

Tony Nese vs. Lince Dorado

Dorado speeds things up to start and snaps off some armdrags into an armbar. Aries’ suggestion: poke him in the eye. Nese finally powers him up into a backbreaker as we go to a break. Back with Dorado going hard into the buckle and Nese posing a bit. One heck of a clothesline gets two for Tony and it’s off to a bodyscissors. Dorado fights up and hits the handspring Stunner, followed by the big dive over the top for good measure. Back in and Lince kicks him on the top, only to get shoved away, setting up the 450 for the pin at 11:48.

Rating: C-. Nese’s posing and power displays helped but this really wasn’t the most interesting thing in the world. Dorado really doesn’t do anything for me as he really is as generic of a luchador as you’re going to find. In other words, this was the cruiserweight equivalent of power vs. speed and it didn’t work all that well.

We see Jericho getting locked inside the shark cage on Monday.

We’ll wrap it up with Monday’s main event.

Seth Rollins/Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens/Chris Jericho

Rollins gets caught in the wrong corner to start and the Canadians take turns stomping him down. A quick Sling Blade puts Jericho down for two and the bad guys try to leave, only to get caught from behind. Back from a break with Reigns hitting his running clothesline on Owens, only to get decked so Jericho can take over.

The slow beating continues and we even get one of the suddenly favorite crowd reactions shots, showing a very bored looking girl. Owens puts on a chinlock of his own until Reigns gets free off a Samoan drop. Rollins comes in with a DDT/neckbreaker combo, earning himself two more crowd reaction shots. Jericho blocks a Pedigree and the frog splash to set up the Walls, sending Seth over to the ropes. Reigns gets in a Superman Punch and reaches for the hot tag, only to have Strowman run out to go after Roman for the DQ at 15:04.

Rating: D. Strowman getting involved is at least a little more interesting but DANG I’m bored with the main event scene right now. People were ready to cheer for Jericho, only to have the carpet pulled out from underneath them because SURPRISE, we’re right back where we were when these matches were announced.

A powerslam plants Reigns as Jericho and Owens watch from the ramp.

Overall Rating: D. This was bad even by Main Event’s standards and that’s about as low as you’re going to get in wrestling. The stuff from Raw wasn’t very good, the original wrestling wasn’t very good and Byron Saxton still has a job. Aries was his usual entertaining self but you have to give him something to work with or it’s going to be bad, like this one. Really lame show this week and that’s not nice around the holidays.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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205 Live – December 20, 2016: The Night of Neville

205 Live
Date: December 20, 2016
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Austin Aries, Mauro Ranallo, Corey Graves

We’ve actually got a hot story around here as Neville returned on Sunday and turned full on heel for the first time in his WWE career. This included beating up Cruiserweight Champion Rich Swann, which set up a tag match on tonight’s show. Neville will team with Brian Kendrick to face Swann and TJ Perkins. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Sunday’s title match and Neville’s turn, including the tag match being set up last night on Raw.

Opening sequence.

Ariya Daivari vs. Lince Dorado

Dorado flips around a lot with Aries accurately saying it’s wasting energy. Daivari grabs a neckbreaker for two and drives a running knee into the back. We hit the chinlock as this isn’t the most interesting match so far. Dorado gets up and hits a Tajiri handspring into a Stunner, sending Daivari outside for a big flip dive. A springboard hurricanrana puts Daivari down but Dorado gets shoved off the top, setting up a frog splash to give Ariya the pin at 5:37.

Rating: D+. As interested as I am in the main event tag (which has a limit), this is a good example of everything wrong with the division. There’s almost no interest in the match, the wrestling was nothing all that special and Daivari is a rather dull character. Dorado is the most generic luchador in a long time and it doesn’t make for a strong match as a result.

Daivari says Jack Gallagher is a scoundrel.

Kendrick comes up to Neville in the back but Neville wants nothing to do with him until they’re out in the ring.

Tajiri is coming.

Cedric Alexander vs. Drew Gulak

Speaking of uninteresting characters. Cedric, with Alicia Fox in his corner, works on Gulak’s arm to start and knees him in the face for good measure. Gulak sends him throat first into the middle rope and does something like a curb stomp with the shin instead of the foot. A chinlock doesn’t last long and it’s Cedric coming back with his springboard clothesline for two.

In a pretty scary bump, Alexander grabs a vertical suplex and takes Gulak over the top for a crash to the floor. They’re lucky they landed right there. Gulak shoves Cedric into Fox and we’ve got a bad ankle. Cue Noam Dar to carry Fox off, leaving Cedric to hit the Lumbar Check for the pin at 5:35.

Rating: C. The wrestling was better here and both guys were trying but Gulak just isn’t interesting in the slightest. Cedric has the talent and there’s something there with the Fox story but it’s still fairly low level by comparison to a few of the others in the division. Alexander could make the jump up the division ladder but he’s going to need a stronger story.

Cedric runs off to find Fox. Gulak blames Fox for the loss because women do not belong on 205 Live.

Video on Jack Gallagher.

Fox is getting her ankle iced and thanks Dar for having her back.

Neville/Brian Kendrick vs. TJ Perkins/Rich Swann

Neville blasts Swann in the face to start and the aggression is really flowing early on. Swann gives a look that suggests he can’t handle this as the announcers talk about how awesome Neville has been since Roadblock. You know, the show TWO DAYS AGO. Kendrick smiles as Neville forearms Rich in the corner but a forearm allows a blind tag to Perkins.

TJ actually gets in some offense before Kendrick comes in, stares at Neville, and chokes on the mat. A good looking spinning kick to the face puts Kendrick down, followed by a slingshot hilo for two. There’s an interesting story here with Neville being the scariest thing in the match and Kendrick being the only one the good guys can beat.

The still banged up Swann tags himself in and manages a few clotheslines on Kendrick. A Flatliner cuts Swann off again though and Neville deadlifts him into a German suplex for two. Some weak rights and lefts have little effect on Neville but a superkick gives the champ a near fall (though the replay shows the lack of contact).

Neville pops right back up and clotheslines Swann inside out but the champ gets over for the hot tag. Perkins fires away on Perkins and the Detonation Kick sets up the kneebar. It’s Neville making another save but Swann tags himself in and kicks Neville in the head. A double superkick gets two on Kendrick as everything breaks down.

Perkins and Neville wind up on the floor, leaving Sliced Bread #2 to set up the Captain’s Hook on Rich. This time it’s Perkins making a save, leaving Neville to kick Swann in the head and talk a lot of trash. TJ tags himself back in and dives into an enziguri, setting up the Red Arrow for the pin at 14:09.

Rating: B. The wrestling was good here but this was completely about the storytelling. Neville looks about 900 miles ahead of the rest of the division and the beatdown of Swann was the perfect way to make that come alive. I completely got into the story here and Neville pinning Perkins and covering him like it’s an annoyance instead of a victory is great. Neville is just killing the character so far and that’s some great potential for this division.

Overall Rating: C+. The opening two matches didn’t do much for me but that main event saved the show. Unfortunately this brings up the obvious problem: there’s not enough (at the moment) for a whole show but this stuff doesn’t work on Raw. Since putting it on Smackdown is COMPLETELY OUT OF THE QUESTION AND WE SHOULDN’T EVEN ASK ABOUT IT EVER AGAIN for some reason, this is probably the best of the remaining option.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw – July 22, 2002 (2016 Redo): The People’s Mullet

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 22, 2002
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re just over a month away from Summerslam but more importantly, HHH is now officially on Raw. I know it’s not the best sounding thing in the world but at this point, Raw is absolutely dying for star power and HHH gives them a top name. Booker T., Rob Van Dam and Ric Flair are big names but they’re not top level stars at this point, making HHH a necessary evil. Let’s get to it.

The intro sequence now ends with a closeup of Eric Bischoff’s face. There’s my nightmare fuel for the week.

Opening sequence.

Speaking of nightmares, here’s Bischoff to open things up, which likely means a very long speech. Bischoff actually gets right to the point by announcing the Rock for tonight. In what Eric seems to feel is a bigger announcement, here’s HHH to loud music that might be hiding a fairly uninterested pop.

Thankfully (I think?) HHH takes the mic away and introduces Shawn for the big, official reunion. We get a very audible DX chant as Bischoff officially names Shawn as HHH’s manager. Eric makes it very clear that Shawn is a step beneath HHH and that doesn’t seem cool with Michaels. He isn’t one to take ultimatums so he’s taking the highway out of here.

Bischoff says HHH needs to go talk some sense into his buddy because he doesn’t have many other options. HHH looks very annoyed as he goes after Shawn. We’re still not done though as Eric says right here tonight, we’re unifying the Intercontinental and European Titles in a ladder match. It’s about time that belt was taken behind the barn and shot.

In the back, Shawn is storming out when HHH catches up with him. Shawn has been here for fifteen years and he doesn’t like being told what to do. HHH basically begs him to drop the whole pride thing and not be like Steve Austin. Worry not of course, because HHH has an idea.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy

Ladder match and technically the titles are already unified so Jeff is challenging coming in. They hit the mat to start with Van Dam scoring off a dropkick and going for a cover out of instinct. Jeff gets knocked out to the floor for a moonsault off the apron, allowing him to bring in the first ladder.

Both guys go up and both guys are knocked right back down, meaning they both need a ladder for a duel. The champ gets the better of it and hits the cartwheel moonsault onto Jeff onto the ladder. Something like a Russian legsweep off the ladder brings Van Dam back down, though I’m not sure why Jeff isn’t down as well.

A Swanton onto the ladder onto the champ keeps Hardy down a bit longer but he climbs up in another hurry. Van Dam runs the rungs as well though and hits a huge sunset powerbomb for a big crash (and a matching pop). It’s another climb on their own ladders with Rob kicking Jeff down and dropping a huge splash for a bonus. Van Dam easily pulls the belt down to retain with the ladder falling on Jeff’s head.

Rating: C+. This was as good of a ladder match as you were going to have with less than seven minutes for a ladder match. Above all else though, it’s a really good idea to get rid of the European Title. It hasn’t meant a thing in months (if not years) and it was just taking up space while devaluing the other titles. It was nice for a very short time but it was WAY past its expiration date.

Here’s Christopher Nowinski for a chat. After calling himself a Harvard graduate over and over, Nowinski is shut up by Undertaker. That means a huge beatdown from the former champion, who is officially a face it seems.

Eric Bischoff gives Rhyno a sales pitch and things seem intriguing. D’Lo Brown and Shawn Stasiak come up to ask for a match. Bischoff has a three minute hole in the show and he wants to be entertained. If they don’t do it, Bischoff will take care of the entertainment himself.

Trish Stratus/Bubba Ray Dudley vs. Molly Holly/William Regal

The genders don’t have to match here. Bubba is really banged up after his match last night but starts with Regal anyway. Molly comes in and shoves Bubba, who changes his mind about tagging Trish. That means the test of strength dance and a quick spank, followed by the tag off to Stratus. It’s off to Regal for some gentlemanly British violence until he tries to go after Bubba. That’s enough for the hot tag to Dudley and everything breaks down. Trish plays D-Von on What’s Up but Bubba won’t slap her chest for GET THE TABLES. While Bubba is on the floor, Regal puts Trish in the STF for the win.

Rating: D. Are they planning on going anywhere with this Bubba/Trish stuff? They’ve been teasing it for a good while now but it’s probably better that nothing actually comes of it. Regal and Molly are a bit better fit as their characters fit, especially with the natural heel chemistry they seem to have.

Bischoff tells someone that after three minutes (of Stasiak vs. Brown), they’re on. He turns the corner and runs into Chris Benoit, who will face Booker T. tonight. The winner gets Van Dam for the Intercontinental Title next week.

Here’s the Rock for his first address as champion. After thanking Undertaker and Angle for the match last night, Rock talks about telling Bischoff he would be here tonight with this title. Cue Eddie Guerrero of all people to interrupt and this should be good. Eddie isn’t cool with what Rock has been doing lately. See, the other night, Eddie was going to tuck his kids in and saw ROCK posters on their wall next to pictures of their dad. That earned them a lesson, so Eddie RIPPED THE POSTER UP AND BURNED IT!

Rock is aghast and thinks he’s no movie star. Eddie is though, but Rock isn’t sure if Eddie is Cheech or Chong. This sends Eddie into a rant about his haircut, which should be called the People’s Mullet. Rock: “You look like Billy Ray Cyrus had sex with a dumb hyena.” This sets up a match for later tonight and if Eddie wins, he gets a title shot. Rock accepts in song form and still wants to know if it’s Cheech or Chong. Outstanding stuff here with Eddie hanging with Rock step for step. As Rock is leaving, Brock Lesnar comes out for his match and it’s a Summerslam preview. Brock keeps walking and doesn’t even give Rock a glance.

Brock Lesnar vs. Tommy Dreamer

Singapore Cane match. Brock isn’t in a mood to play tonight as he suplexes Dreamer on the floor to start and whips him into the steps. They head inside for the first time with Brock hitting the triple backbreakers but getting kicked low, which shouldn’t be legal here. A DDT gives Tommy two but the cane is knocked away and the F5 finishes Tommy in a hurry. Total squash with Lesnar never using the cane.

Undertaker comes out and knocks Lesnar around with the cane.

Big Show tells Shawn that there’s no NWO to back him up anymore. You can hear a match going on in the background in a rare production error.

Shawn Stasiak vs. D’Lo Brown

Three minute time limit with Bischoff watching from the stage. Brown goes for some early near falls but walks into a powerslam as Bischoff says thirty seconds. Bischoff finally gets bored and counts down the clock after about a minute and a half. Cue two unnamed Samoans to maul both guys for the no contest. That would of course be Jamal and Rosey, soon to be known as 3 Minute Warning.

So to recap, this match had nothing to do with competition and was all about entertaining Bischoff. Well done indeed.

HHH gives Shawn a bag containing something to wear. Shawn seems intrigued.

Goldust congratulates Booker for beating Big Show last night and gives him a Don King wig for being King of the Giant Killers. Booker actually gets into the impression to talk about his match with Benoit.

Booker T. vs. Chris Benoit

Winner gets a match with Van Dam next week and Booker has bad ribs coming in. Benoit works on the arm to start and gets knocked into the corner for his efforts. Some chops and a backbreaker have Booker in trouble and Benoit whips him hard into the buckle. Now that’s the kind of intelligence you expect from Chris.

Booker’s sleeper is quickly broken up with a belly to back suplex and Benoit unhooks a middle turnbuckle pad. A spinebuster plants the Canadian and a missile dropkick gets two as they’re certainly moving out there. Benoit has had enough of this and starts rolling the German suplexes to damage Booker’s ribs even more. Booker is finally sent into the buckle (which Nick Patrick can see) and the Crossface sends Benoit to the title match.

Rating: B. Bad refereeing at the end aside, this was a heck of a match with Benoit taking Booker apart thanks to the injury and destroying him like only Chris can. Booker looked fine in defeat as he came in injured and Benoit cheated to win on top of that. If nothing else, this makes up for Benoit jobbing to the Dudleyz last night. Well done all around.

Big Show vs. Spike Dudley

Bischoff is on commentary now. Chokeslam wraps Spike up in about a minute.

Show loads up a table and puts the invading Bubba through it along with his brother. Bischoff is very pleased with these results.

And now, D-Generation X. Shawn talks about being rebels before being a rebel was cool and HHH loads up the ARE YOU READY. As soon as he’s about to tell us to suck it though, HHH Pedigrees Shawn to turn full heel, which would be the case for several years to come.

After a break, HHH drives away. As he leaves, Stephanie arrives to continue this stupid “steal the talent” story.

The Rock vs. Eddie Guerrero

Non-title. Rock snaps off some armdrags to start and grabs an armbar but gets suplexed down to give Eddie a breather. A one footed dropkick keeps Rock in trouble and it’s off to a chinlock. Eddie switches it up to a figure four headscissors with a handful of ropes for extra leverage. How that gives him more leverage has never been clear to me but it’s standard heel action so I’ll just go with it.

Rock fights up with those open handed punches of his and the DDT gets two. The Rock Bottom is actually countered out of the air into a rollup for two (leave it to Eddie to pull that one off) but the Frog Splash misses. Back up and it’s the spinebuster into the People’s Elbow for the pin.

Rating: C+. Part of that is for that counter to the Rock Bottom alone. My first reaction is why not just make this a successful title defense but Eddie hasn’t exactly been lighting it up in recent weeks. He was Intercontinental Champion back in May but I’m not sure if that’s enough to warrant a title shot. It actually makes sense and while I doubt it’s intentional, it’s good booking.

Post match Brock comes down and grabs the belt, which he throws at Rock’s feet. No violence but Lesnar still seems WAY over his head here.

Bischoff goes out to a see a very smug looking Stephanie. She gets out of the car and smiles as Brock and Paul Heyman gets into the car. Stephanie asks how it feels to be kicked in the testicles, which she says about four times in a minute. Apparently Brock has been signed to Smackdown. Good to know.

Overall Rating: C. This show was all over the place with big angles and some good matches but a lot of bad stuff like bringing 3 Minute Warning to the show where there are no Tag Team Titles. You have like two teams to go after the belts so you put a fresh team on Raw? The Shawn vs. HHH thing should be fun and will be a much bigger deal as we keep going. I know the idea here is shaking up a lot of things up but they seem to be doing that almost every few weeks. It’s a good show but they’re walking a rather thin line at this point.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown – December 20, 2016: Merry Effort

Smackdown
Date: December 20, 2016
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Tom Phillips, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga

We’re in the home stretch of 2016 and Smackdown is going out with a bang. Tonight we have two title matches and a major match between Luke Harper and Dean Ambrose. It’s unlikely that they’re going to change either the Intercontinental or Smackdown World Title here but stranger things have happened. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Smackdown World Title: AJ Styles vs. James Ellsworth

Styles is defending and it looks like this match is actually happening for a change. An early attempt at No Chin Music earns Ellsworth a strike rush for the pin at 43 seconds.

Post match AJ destroys Ellsworth and catapults him into the bottom of the ring to (in theory) write Ellsworth off TV. Styles talks about how he’s glad to be past Ellsworth so he can move on to the new year with fresh challenges. This brings out Dolph Ziggler to say he only needs to win one match to become WWE Champion. Styles laughs him off and says anyone else should go after the title. Cue Baron Corbin who says it should be his title shot. Corbin thinks Ziggler got his shot because he wasn’t in the match. All Ziggler steals are opportunities so Corbin punches him in the face. End of Days leaves Ziggler laying.

Back from a break, Ziggler is given a match against Corbin tonight. If Corbin wins, he gets the title shot next week.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Apollo Crews

Miz is defending after losing to Crews at Tribute to the Troops and Crews doesn’t even get an entrance. A few rolling cradles give Crews some near falls early and a dropkick gets a third. Crews moonsaults off the apron to take Miz down as this is one sided so far. Back from a break with Crews nipping up and screaming a lot. The Toss Powerbomb is broken up but Crews gets two off an Angle Slam. The fans are WAY into these near falls too.

Maryse gets on the apron for a distraction and is quickly ejected for her efforts. That sets up a red hot near fall off a rollup before Miz has to flip out of a belly to back suplex. The ref gets bumped in the process (and I mean BARELY gets bumped), setting up a thumb to the eye and the Skull Crushing Finale to retain Miz’s title at 8:42.

Rating: C. I was digging the match until that way too fast finish. It really felt like they were out of time and had to get out as fast as they could. Still though, it’s a good performance from Crews, but that’s all he seems to have. Yeah he looks great but for some reason he’s almost never allowed to win a major match.

Post match Renee Young asks Miz about his obsession with Dean Ambrose. Miz: “Maybe we should ask about your obsession with Dean Ambrose. After all, you’re the one sleeping with him.” Renee slaps him in the face and walks off to a BIG reaction.

We look at Zack Ryder’s knee injury from last week and subsequent surgery.

John Cena is back next week.

Here’s Natalya to get to the bottom of this “Who Attacked Nikki” story. She asks Nikki Bella to come out here but Carmella is right there as well. Carmella brings up Natalya saying that no one cared about the Bellas when they left, which sends Natalya chasing Carmella up the ramp and throwing her into some presents.

Natalya admits that she was the attacker (WELL DUH!) and goes on another anti-Total Divas rant because NATALYA should have gotten the Total Divas spinoff. Nikki may be beautiful on the outside but she’s horrible on the inside, which is why Cena will never marry her. OH SWEET GOODNESS TELL ME THAT’S NOT WHAT WE’RE DOING NOW. That’s been the story of EVERY SEASON OF TOTAL DIVAS and now it’s happening on Smackdown too??? Good grief that show needs to die already.

Alexa Bliss comes in to see Bryan and is told she’ll be defending the title against Becky Lynch next week. Bliss isn’t happy but Bryan says he can go talk to the trainers. The champ storms off.

Dean Ambrose vs. Luke Harper

The rest of the Family is at ringside. An early Dirty Deeds attempt doesn’t work and Harper catapults him throat first into the bottom rope. Back from an early break with Dean being thrown off the top and getting caught in a torture rack. That really should be someone’s full time finisher. A superkick cuts off Dean’s comeback bid and the sitout powerbomb gets two. Harper loads up what looks like another powerbomb and gets caught in la majistral for the pin at 7:48.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here and I’m really not a fan of that slip on a banana peel finish. Harper completely dominated this match until Ambrose caught him with a single rollup for the pin. If you want to push Harper then push Harper by giving him some wins. Don’t have him dominate like this and then lose over and over because it gets old in a hurry.

The Wyatts lay Ambrose out post match. Bray and company leave via darkness so here’s Miz to give Ambrose the Skull Crushing Finale.

Alexa Bliss vs. La Luchadora

Non-title and Luchadora is in a mask and full body suit. You know who it is, I know who it is, and we have to listen to the announcers not know who it is. Luchadora gets in some rollups for two each until Bliss pounds her in the back to take over. The fans chant SI as Luchadora slaps on the Disarm-Her for the tap at 3:06.

Rating: D. Well duh. This is one you can file under storyline advancement instead of anything interesting and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s a classic yet effective idea and helps set up next week’s title match. Sometimes it’s ok to just say what’s going on and let us see the obvious finish. That doesn’t make it a bad thing.

Of course it’s Becky Lynch.

Ryan Phillippe (of Shooter, a show which guest starred Randy Orton) arrives and tries to find Orton. Instead he gets Curt Hawkins and Mojo Rawley so some trash can be talked between the two wrestlers. A match is announced for later.

Mojo Rawley vs. Curt Hawkins

Phillippe is on commentary so hopefully this is short. Mojo runs him over to start as the announcers praise Phillippe and we hear a bit about Shooter. That shifts to a discussion of Otunga being married to Jennifer Hudson (rarely discussed in WWE) as Rawley hits some Stinger Splashes and the Pounce. A running right hand in the corner ends Hawkins at 2:28. Phillippe was fine here and seemed to be having a good time, which is all you can ask for from a celebrity.

Ellsworth, with almost every part of his body either in some kind of a bandage or wrapped in ice, can’t speak. The annoying interviewer keeps asking questions anyway until Carmella of all people comes up to say she’ll take care of him. Well ok then.

Baron Corbin vs. Dolph Ziggler

The winner gets Styles, on commentary here, for the title next week. Corbin takes over to start and takes Ziggler outside for some trash talk to the champ. A chest first whip into the buckle has Ziggler in even more trouble and Corbin does his slide under the ropes for a forearm to the back. Ziggler is sent shoulder first into the post and we take a break.

Back with Ziggler getting two off a rollup but having his head taken off with a clothesline. Ziggler gets in a neckbreaker and the Zig Zag for two more. A superplex is countered into Deep Six for another near fall and they head outside again with Ziggler being thrown into AJ. It’s a double countout at 15:44.

Rating: C. Well of course it sets up a triple threat. We haven’t had one in all of a week or two and that means we just need another one. This is getting WAY too common in WWE anymore and I really don’t need to see one for a long time. I like the idea of setting up Corbin in the main event but ENOUGH with the triple threats.

Post match Styles lays them both out with a chair. Cue Bryan to make the triple threat for the title next week.

Overall Rating: B-. The wrestling wasn’t the big deal here but rather having them do whatever the could with one week to go in the year. Instead of just folding up shop and saying we’ll see you next year, Smackdown is going with storylines and big title matches. I can greatly appreciate effort in wrestling and it makes for an enjoyable Tuesday night instead of something that feels like I’m stuck watching it. Good show here which gave me reasons to want to come back.

Results

AJ Styles b. James Ellsworth – Backfist to the face

Miz b. Apollo Crews – Skull Crushing Finale

Dean Ambrose b. Luke Harper – La majistral

La Luchadora b. Alexa Bliss – Disarm-Her

Mojo Rawley b. Curt Hawkins – Running right hand in the corner

Dolph Ziggler vs. Baron Corbin went to a double countout

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw – December 19, 2016: The Holiday Blues

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 19, 2016
Location: Schottenstein Center, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

It’s the night after Roadblock and we’re less than six weeks away from the Royal Rumble. That means it’s still the lull period as WWE knows the audiences will be smaller over the holidays, meaning there’s a good chance this is going to be a burn off show. If nothing else we can get more from Kevin Owens/Chris Jericho vs. Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins in that fresh main event story. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Owens and Jericho are in the ring to start things off with the champ welcoming us to the Chris and Kevin Show. Kevin says he’ll do whatever it takes to retain the title, including taking a Codebreaker from his best friend. “MONKEYS! SHOW US THE PICTURES!” They talk about the devastating Codebreaker, which was only so huge to make everyone believe.

Jericho thinks they’re so close now that Owens can have the Hug of Jericho as a special gift. Chris isn’t happy though because someone else named Chris has stolen his gimmick. Yeah, that Kris Kringle makes lists and gives people gifts so HE JUST MADE THE LIST. That brings Mick Foley (so much for the hip surgery at the moment), who reveals a Christmas shirt with a leather vest over the top.

Mick sets up a tag match for later but gets the city wrong, completely destroying the aura of the cheap pop. Going forward though, Owens is going to defend the title against Reigns at the Royal Rumble, with Jericho locked in a shark cage above the ring. Owens: “It’s not even safe!”

Due to general stupidity, Jericho gets inside the cage and demands that Foley prove it safe. Owens: “Uh Chris, get out first.” Foley locks him in and can’t find the key (though he does find a New Day shirt, a Dude Love wallet and a key that doesn’t fit). Mick says it’s fine because the cage doesn’t go up until he does this signal…..so Jericho goes up, presumably for a good while.

Back from a break and Jericho is down, though he’s dizzy and sick.

Big Cass vs. Rusev

Cass pounds away in the corner and that’s a DQ at 1:01.

Here’s Sasha Banks with her leg wrapped up and walking on a crutch. Last night she was defeated by the better woman and she’s not feeling much like a boss right now. Sasha wants Charlotte to come out here so she can congratulate her to her face. Instead it’s Nia Jax, who says Sasha will never be a boss because she’s just a little girl. The crutch is kicked out and Sasha is thrown around like she’s not even there.

Foley congratulates Sheamus and Cesaro for winning the Tag Team Titles because he feels like a proud papa. He even has a present for them: new title belts, with an identical design to the Smackdown belts but with red straps. A referee comes in and tells Foley there’s an emergency.

We cut to the hallway where Braun Strowman is destroying things. Foley comes up and Strowman demands Sami Zayn tonight. Mick says Sami is about a hundred miles away so Braun has to wait a bit.

Cedric Alexander vs. Noam Dar

This is over Dar hitting on Cedric’s girlfriend Alicia Fox with Austin Aries on commentary. A forearm puts Dar on the floor and it’s off to a break thirty seconds in. Back with Dar missing a dive off the top and possibly twisting his ankle. Cedric comes in with a springboard clothesline of his own, followed by the Lumbar Check for the pin at 5:10.

Post match Dar says they’re not even because Alexander still has Alicia.

Shining Stars/Anderson and Gallows vs. Cesaro/Sheamus/New Day

We recap the opening segment.

Enzo and Cass are talking about what they’re doing tonight when Enzo gets a letter. Due to exposing himself in the workplace on November 21, Enzo has to undergo sensitivity training.

Here’s Neville to brag about beating down TJ Perkins and Rich Swann last night. What he can’t understand is why people cheered him. Normally they only cheer for him because they feel sorry for him but he doesn’t need their pity. Neville will obliterate the division and can show up on 205 Live anytime.

Cue Swann to ask what was up with last night. Neville cuts him off and talks about mentoring Swann in Japan and getting no gratitude. This brings out Brian Kendrick to say he respects Neville. The double beatdown is on with TJ Perkins making a failed save attempt. Neville was GREAT here and maybe the best thing about the show so far.

It’s time for sensitivity training with Darren Young, Bob Backlund, Bo Dallas and Jinder Mahal joining Amore. Enzo gets to go first and starts in with his usual promo. He blames his partner for being here, which the therapist interprets as Enzo and Cass being married. Mahal goes next and the therapist asks how to spell his name. Enzo stands up and says exactly what you would expect him to say.

Titus O’Neil vs. Sin Cara

Strowman comes in for the no contest at 40 seconds.

Braun drags Cara to the stage and throws him through a Christmas tree and a bunch of presents as Foley looks on helpless.

Jericho is annoyed at being stuck in the cage because he’s arachnophobic. Owens: “That means scared of spiders.” Jericho: “I’m scared of them too!” After asking if Owens knows what it’s like to hang above the ring like a sexy pinata, they agree to work together tonight because Reigns and Rollins need to get……IT!

Bayley vs. Charlotte

More from sensitivity training with Enzo making fun of Mahal but not hitting him, which shows progress.

Emmalina is sick of hearing about the Four Horsewomen and will be here when she feels like it.

The sensitivity class graduates. Enzo unsuccessfully hits on the teacher until Rusev comes in. Mahal blocks the other way out and the double beatdown is on. Lana comes in for a slap to Enzo’s face.

Seth Rollins/Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens/Chris Jericho

A powerslam plants Reigns as Jericho and Owens watch from the ramp.

Overall Rating: D+. There was some effort this week but you could tell they weren’t putting forth their best try. Stuff like the sensitivity training felt like the old, bad comedy bits and the main event, save for Strowman, was just horrible. My guess is this is due to the holidays but they didn’t do themselves any favors this week. Not a good show but not a complete waste of time.

Results

Rusev b. Big Cass via DQ when Cass wouldn’t stop attacking in the corner

Cedric Alexander b. Noam Dar – Lumbar Check

Cesaro/Sheamus/New Day b. Shining Stars/Anderson and Gallows – Sharpshooter to Primo

Titus O’Neil vs. Sin Cara went to a no contest when Braun Strowman interfered

Bayley b. Charlotte – Backslide

Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins b. Kevin Owens/Chris Jericho via DQ when Braun Strowman interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Roadblock: End of the Line: Feel Free to Try Something

Roadblock: End of the Line
Date: December 18, 2016
Location: PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

We’ll wrap up the pay per view calendar with this show, our third pay per view in about a month. This isn’t the hottest card in the world with a fairly lame main event of United States Champion Roman Reigns challenging Kevin Owens for the Universal Title. There’s also an Iron Man match as Sasha Banks defends the Women’s Title against Charlotte. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Rusev vs. Big Cass

This is over Big Cass defending Enzo Amore, who tried to sleep with Rusev’s life. Before the match, Enzo says something about Lana owing him money and Rusev playing Jumanji in the hotel room. Enzo puts on a red nose and Cass lists off the eight reindeer. Cass kicks Rusev in the face and we take a break less than thirty seconds in.

Back with Cass hammering away and dropping the Empire Elbow for no cover. They head outside Rusev taking him out into the crowd, leaving Enzo to go after Lana. Rusev defends his wife while Cass checks on Enzo, leaving Rusev to beat the count at 4:33. Not enough for a rating but this was rematch bait.

The opening video has a police chase theme with the idea being that everything ends at the end of the line.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Cesaro/Sheamus

New Day is defending. Big E. is confused about what the show is called because he thinks it’s a rather different, very un-PG kind of blocking. I’ll let you figure out what the joke there is. Woods suggests that the challengers should be called Swing Low Irish Chariot. Cesaro dropkicks Kofi at the bell for two and it’s already time for the uppercut train. It’s too early for the Swing so Sheamus clotheslines Kofi instead.

The slingshot shoulder gets two on Kingston and Swiss Death is good for the same. This has been completely one sided so far. Kofi breaks up the ten forearms and brings in Big E. for the spear off the apron. The Warrior Splash gets two on Sheamus and everything breaks down. Sheamus kicks Cesaro by mistake and Woods kicks Cesaro by design, setting up the Big Ending for a very close two.

The Midnight Hour is broken up and Big E. gets the Brogue Kick. Cesaro Swings Kofi into the Sharpshooter for the submission….but Woods has the referee. Cesaro lifts Kofi up into a suplex and rolls into the Neutralizer for two with Big E. making the save this time. That was some scary power, as is always the case with Cesaro.

Woods sacrifices himself to take the Brogue Kick and the SOS gets two on Sheamus. Cesaro comes in without a tag (though Sheamus was right next to him), meaning Kofi kicks Cesaro for no count. Instead Sheamus sneaks in and rolls Kofi up for the pin and the titles at 10:00.

Rating: B-. The ending was really good but I have no interest in Sheamus and Cesaro holding the belts. It’s more than fine to take them off New Day now but you really couldn’t do this at the Rumble against Enzo and Cass or ANYONE that might draw some interest? People didn’t care about Cesaro and Sheamus at first and I doubt they will now, but this was going to happen no matter what.

New Day gets the big show of respect and we get the battle for the spotlight from the new champs.

Kevin Owens doesn’t care about New Day because that will never happen to him. After insulting the interviewer, Owens flags down Chris Jericho and gives him a present. Jericho isn’t impressed with his holiday scarf.

Sami Zayn vs. Braun Strowman

Ten minute time limit as Raw GM Mick Foley is scared for Sami’s health. The ring announcer says Sami must last ten minutes though, which makes things a bit unclear. So can Sami not even go for wins? Sami dodges for the first thirty seconds and Braun no sells a chop. Braun gets his hands on Sami for a big toss and kicks him in the ribs for good measure.

We’re down to eight minutes as Sami knocks Braun over the top, only to have Strowman come back in and hammer away with ease. The referee starts to check on Sami with about six minutes to go but Zayn wants to keep going. Braun lets Sami stumble around as we get down to five minutes. Some very hard clotheslines take us to four minutes and here’s Foley with a white towel.

Sami is thrown down at Mick’s feet and Braun goes outside to talk trash. Zayn grabs the towel and throws it into the crowd with two minutes left. Strowman promises to finish this himself but misses a charge into the post. Another missed charge sends Braun through the barricade but Strowman beats the count with 47 seconds left. A third missed charge hits the post and Sami gets two off a high crossbody. Sami is knocked to the floor but comes back in for the Helluva Kick as time ends at 10:00 (really 10:12).

Rating: D+. Corey sums it up perfectly: Sami didn’t win anything here. He just didn’t get killed. This really belonged as an angle on Raw to set up the pay per view match instead of being the match itself. Sami hitting his finisher (which didn’t knock Braun down) to end the match was a nice touch but I really have no idea where this goes outside of Braun beating Sami in another match.

Package on the UK tournament.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. Seth Rollins. Jericho lost to Rollins several times but then started costing Rollins matches against Owens. This earned Jericho a Pedigree on top of a car and that means a match.

Seth Rollins vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho headlocks him to start and does the Gift of Jericho pose. Chris stops him with a raised boot and the missile dropkick gets two. A rake of the eyes slows Rollins down (he even makes like he can’t see for a bit, which you almost never see anymore) but he’s easily able to catapult Jericho into the buckle.

Jericho gets in a clothesline and we hit the ASK HIM chinlock. Back up and Rollins fires off some right hands followed by the Slingblade. A Blockbuster gets two and Jericho gets shoved out to the floor. Rollins’ springboard knee is countered into the Walls which last about as long as you would expect them to. Now the Lionsault is good for two and Seth’s Falcon’s Arrow gets the same.

Rollins tries the Pedigree but Jericho powers out and gets in a hurricanrana, which transitions into the Walls. Seth counters that with a small package for two, followed by the frog splash. Cue Owens for a distraction, just as Jericho grabs a small package. The Pedigree is countered again but Jericho stops to yell at Owens, allowing Seth to get in the jumping knee. Rollins gets the Pedigree for the pin at 17:12.

Rating: B+. I really liked this one as Jericho’s roll continues. You can almost pencil in Jericho vs. Owens for the Rumble and that story is going to write itself very well. Rollins getting the pin makes sense and maybe we can FINALLY do the blowoff between him and HHH so Rollins can move on with his career.

Pre-show recap. Cass vs. Rusev II is set for tomorrow night.

Cruiserweight Title: Brian Kendrick vs. TJ Perkins vs. Rich Swann

Swann is defending and Austin Aries is sitting in on commentary. One heck of a forearm puts Kendrick on the floor, leaving Perkins to take the champ down. Swann hurricanranas both guys down at the same time (Aries: “I’ve done it before.”) but gets caught in the Captain’s Hook.

Perkins makes the save with the kneebar but Swann makes a save of his own. Cole: “Who is the favorite now?” Aries: “I would be if I was in there.” Kendrick gets tossed and Perkins slaps on another kneebar, sending Swann to the ropes. That’s not a break in a triple threat but Perkins lets go anyway. Back up and Swann kicks Perkins in the head to retain at 5:59.

Rating: D+. Can we please, please, PLEASE get Aries anything he wants? He was by far and away the most interesting thing about this match as he just commands respect and I completely buy him as the greatest cruiserweight of all time. I mean, I know he’s not but he gives you the belief that he is and that’s what matters.

Post match Neville makes his return to celebrate with Swann before turning heel (!) and destroying all three. Fans: “THANK YOU NEVILLE!” I can totally go for this, though the idea that Neville weighs under 205lbs is downright laughable.

Owens goes to Jericho’s locker room but Chris won’t let him in. Kevin tells him to put his name on the list but Jericho still doesn’t open the door. That hurts Owens’ feelings and he walks away.

Recap of Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte. They’ve traded the title for months and this is the final match.

Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks

Banks is defending and this is a thirty minute iron man match, though JoJo says the winner is the woman with the most pinfalls. I’m going to assume that’s an error because nothing like that was ever mentioned before. Feeling out process to start and they hit the mat for the first two minutes. Banks headlocks her down and things stay slow to start. Some chops have Charlotte in more trouble but it’s too early for the Banks Statement.

Another attempt fails just as much so Banks opts for a dropkick instead. Banks: “Your daddy loves me more!” Sasha wraps her up in something like a rear naked choke but Charlotte drops her back onto the mat for two. Charlotte heads outside and takes the double knees as we hit eight minutes in. A cross arm choke has Charlotte in more trouble but she doesn’t tap out as we get to ten minutes.

Sasha throws her outside for a suicide crossbody, only to be tripped face first into the steps in a bad looking crash. We’re twelve minutes in now as the referee slows things down a bit to check on Sasha. Three straight knees get two on the champ but another one misses to give Sasha a breather. Charlotte does the figure four headscissors and we’re at the halfway mark.

Something like a neckbreaker onto the knee gets two on Sasha and Charlotte seems to be getting frustrated. Natural Selection connects for two but Banks can’t get the Bank Statement. Instead Charlotte is put on top, only to come back with a super Natural Selection for the first fall with 10:45 to go.

Charlotte talks a lot of trash but can’t get another fall as we hit nine minutes left. Banks goes to the air and spins into a rollup for the tie with 8:43 to go. That means Charlotte needs to get aggressive, only to have Sasha grab the Bank Statement for the tap out with six minutes left. Charlotte gets smart by draping the knee over the middle rope and crashing down onto it as the clock keeps ticking.

Some cannonballs down onto the knee set up a leglock as we’ve got three minutes left. A not great Figure Four goes on with two minutes left and Sasha is in big trouble. The hold is turned over a few times until Sasha gets caught in the middle of the ring. We’re down to thirty seconds left and Banks screams a lot. Charlotte FINALLY turns it into the Figure Eight and Banks taps with two seconds left, meaning it’s a draw at 30:00.

This is the END OF THE LINE though so let’s do sudden death. Charlotte gets in a shot at the bad leg before the bell rings and a small package gets two for the champ seconds into the extra period. The Bank Statement goes on but Charlotte grabs the bad leg to break the hold. It’s turned into a Figure Four and Sasha (with a bloody mouth) taps to the Figure Eight at 2:58 of overtime.

Rating: B. Well that happened. I’m completely out of things to talk about with these two trading the title because WWE has no concept of how to wrap up a feud in an appropriate manner. Charlotte winning is fine, though the question now is who challenges her next. I know the obvious answer is Bayley, but do you trust them to do something that logical?

We recap Owens vs. Reigns. Roman beat him a few weeks ago to earn another shot here tonight but the big story is about the drama between Jericho and Owens.

Universal Title: Kevin Owens vs. Roman Reigns

Owens is defending and I’ll only refer to him as champion for the sake of simplicity. Kevin quickly bails to the floor but gets punched in the mouth for his efforts. Something like a spinebuster gets two for Reigns but the threat of a jumping clothesline sends Owens outside. The champ takes over on the floor and hits the backsplash off the steps, followed by the chinlock back inside.

Owens wants to know why Reigns didn’t put his title on the line but suspects it’s a lack of testicular fortitude. A standing flip legdrop of all things gets two on Roman and it’s back to the chinlock. Reigns finally powers out and drives Owens into the corner, only to have the champ throw him down with a German suplex. The Superman Punch is countered into a DDT for two more.

Reigns no sells the Cannonball and hits the Superman Punch for two of his own and both guys are down. Owens goes up top and gets Superman Punched again but still manages to grab the swinging superplex. A Swanton Bomb hits Roman’s raised knees and it’s spear time. It might be the big scream before the spear but somehow Owens knows to bail to the floor. Reigns gets suckered in and a splash off the apron onto the announcers’ table doesn’t break the table.

The second attempt works though and Reigns’ ribs are hurt again. Reigns dives in at nine so Owens bolts to the top for another frog splash and the accompanying near fall. Roman’s sitout powerbomb and Owens’ Pop Up Powerbomb get two each and the champ doesn’t know what to do. He goes outside for the title belt, earning himself a spear as he comes back inside. Cue Jericho, who looks back and forth at both guy. A Codebreaker to Owens draws the DQ at 23:33.

Rating: B. Good, though the waiting for Jericho took a little away from it. Unfortunately this shows the problem with Reigns being US Champion coming into this match: what good does it do to tie the title up in this match with no challenger for the title in sight? Yeah Owens vs. Jericho will be fine but sweet goodness enough with the champion vs. champion nonsense.

Jericho raises Owens’ hand because IT WAS A SWERVE to end the show. Uh, couldn’t he just tap Reigns and get the same result? Rollins comes out and helps with the beatdown, including a DoubleBomb to put Jericho through the table. Owens goes through the announcers’ table to end the show to almost no reaction.

Overall Rating: B+. I liked this a lot more than I thought I would but it’s a great example of a show I’m never going to watch again. Other than Charlotte getting the title back like we’ve seen before, nothing was really interesting here, though I can always go for a night of good wrestling. That being said, they really, REALLY need something fresh in the main event scene on Raw because “oh wait they’re still best friends who get beaten up by the Shield guys” was tired a month ago.

Results

Cesaro/Sheamus b. New Day – Small package to Kingston

Sami Zayn b. Braun Strowman by surviving the time limit

Seth Rollins b. Chris Jericho – Pedigree

Rich Swann b. TJ Perkins and Brian Kendrick – Spinning kick to the head

Charlotte b. Sasha Banks three falls to two

Kevin Owens b. Roman Reigns via DQ when Chris Jericho interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Vengeance 2002 (2016 Redo): Serious Stephanie

Vengeance 2002
Date: July 21, 2002
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re in an interesting place here as both shows have their first General Managers but the stories are hit and miss at best. The main event is the Rock, who has had one match since he came back, challenging Undertaker for the title in a triple threat also involving Kurt Angle. This is really just a pit stop before Summerslam though so let’s get to it.

We open with a Biblical passage talking about being your brother’s keeper. Somehow this is supposed to be about the main event. I’m pretty sure this is the Samuel L. Jackson speech from Pulp Fiction.

The show’s announcing will actually be divided in half with Smackdown commentary first and then Raw. I don’t remember them doing that very often.

Dudley Boyz vs. Chris Benoit/Eddie Guerrero

Elimination tables match and the Smackdown commentary is already weird here as they have no connection to these guys. Benoit runs Spike over like he’s Chris Benoit and he’s wrestling Spike Dudley. A quick tag brings in Bubba, who can suddenly stick with Benoit and Guerrero.

Benoit quickly takes Bubba down and drops some running elbows, followed by the first German suplex. The heels take turns stomping away in the corner until it’s time for the first table. Spike makes a quick save but doesn’t make a tag, meaning Bubba’s beating continues. Now the table is set up in the middle of the ring so Spike has to save Bubba from a double superplex. By that I mean he moves the table instead of breaking it up so Bubba goes flying. Spike is a really, really bad partner.

That’s not cool with Benoit and Guerrero so they try to put Spike through the table, only to have Bubba tackle him down to prevent going through the table. So Bubba is a better partner too. Everything breaks down and Spike gives Benoit a top rope double stomp, followed by What’s Up.

Bubba’s middle rope splash only hits table, which doesn’t count as an elimination because it wasn’t an offensive move that put him through the table. Well yeah it was but it was Bubba’s own offensive move. Spike actually does something right by giving Eddie the Dudley Dawg through a table. It bangs him up too much though and Benoit throws him through a table of his own, only to get Bubba Bombed onto a table to give the Dudleyz the win.

Rating: C+. Stupid decisions by Spike aside, this was entertaining stuff and a good way to open the show. Now of course it doesn’t make a lot of sense to have Eddie and Benoit lose to Bubba and Spike of all people but you can’t expect WWE to get things right with them just yet.

Bischoff chases down HHH, who is going into Stephanie’s office. See, HHH is always negotiating.

Cruiserweight Title: Jamie Noble vs. Billy Kidman

Kidman is challenging and they exchange some fast near falls to start. A hurricanrana has Noble staggered and a Fameasser with Jamie in the ropes makes it even worse. Like a good heel should though, Noble hides behind Nidia and takes Kidman’s arm out to take over. The arm goes into the post but Kidman is still fine enough to dropkick his way out of trouble. Jamie takes him right back down into a Fujiwara armbar. The title has gone to Jamie’s head though as he thinks he can powerbomb Kidman, earning himself a Sky High for two. The Shooting Star press misses and a tiger bomb gives Jamie the clean pin.

Rating: C. This was fine as a coronation match to crown Rey Mysterio’s first victim for the title. Kidman is still one of the best performers on the roster but he’s stuck in the cruiserweight division again because everything that happened in the last year of WCW means nothing. I mean, it was worthless back then too but this just proves it even more.

Kurt Angle is ready to win the title when Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar come in for the dream match staredown. Brock wishes him luck and leaves. Kurt: “I hate pompous people.”

European Title: Jeff Hardy vs. William Regal

Jeff is defending and gets shouldered down for three early near falls. The sitout jawbreaker puts Regal down for two and they head outside, only to have Jeff miss the barricade running clothesline. Back in and Jeff’s Swanton (in case you had it confused with Regal’s Swanton) hits knees, only to have Jeff roll him up to retain.

Rating: D. Well that happened. This might as well have been on Raw because the title means nothing more than a way to fill time. Hardy retaining is fine and in theory should let him move on to his next feud but why would anyone want the thing at this point? It’s just a worthless belt and at least Regal holding it made sense. Now it’s a prop for Jeff, who is no more over now that he has the thing.

Hogan and Flair congratulate Jeff before shaking hands. Hulk thinks he might hit a Swanton of his own tonight. After that bizarre visual, Hogan wants to know what’s up with the new GM’s. Flair is worried about the young superstars getting caught up in the power struggle. I have no idea why this was added save for giving Flair a cameo and therefore a payday.

Chris Jericho vs. John Cena

Rematch from Smackdown where Jericho got disqualified. Jericho is all ticked off and grabs a chair before the bell, only to have Cena take it away and blast Jericho over the back. Now we get the bell because anything that happens before the bell only counts when it’s important to the story. Cena gets in a few right hands until a shot shot slows him down and calms Canadian fans everywhere. A few more right hands put Cena down and he even throws in a little shuffle.

Chris takes too long going up and gets caught in a superplex but Cena can’t follow up. Instead he misses a dropkick, only to roll away from the Lionsault. The second attempt works but Jericho doesn’t want to cover. Chris tries the Walls and is quickly small packaged for the pin.

Rating: C-. Cena getting the win is a big deal for him but you can only give him so many flukes before he needs some kind of big offense of his own. At the moment he’s just a tough rookie, which is fine for a start, but he needs something more substantial going forward. For now though it’s fine as the long list of pins over Jericho begins.

Jericho has a fit after the match.

Bischoff fails to stop Stephanie’s attorney from going into her locker room.

The commentary switches up.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar is challenging after defeating Van Dam in the King of the Ring final. Some quick strikes have Brock on the floor, followed by some kicks to the knee. Lesnar gets knocked outside a second time but he easily catches Rob diving through the air for a powerslam. Back in and it’s suplex time but Rob escapes a second and kicks Brock in the face. Heyman: “THAT HAD TO HURT!” They’re doing a good job here of showing that only strikes work on Brock as all of Rob’s high flying has gotten in trouble.

An attempt at a monkey flip sends Rob over the top and into the steps, followed by the bearhug to keep things slow. Brock makes it even better with an abdominal stretch which lasts as long as your average abdominal stretch is going to last. The top rope kick to the chest sets up Rolling Thunder for two on Brock. Heyman’s advice in this situation: “DON’T LOSE!” The F5 is countered into a tornado DDT and Rob adds the Five Star, causing Heyman to pull the referee for the DQ. Big pop for Van Dam retaining the title.

Rating: D+. There’s just not much left to do with Brock other than put the title on him and hope for the best. He’s dominating everyone he faces until Heyman has to save him at the end. Thankfully WWE wasn’t stupid enough (yet) to set up a champion vs. champion match on pay per view because they still realized you could do two title matches and get twice the impact.

Post match Heyman breaks up the Van Terminator, allowing Lesnar to F5 Van Dam onto a chair.

Stephanie comes out of her office and says he signed in her intimidating voice. HHH comes out a second later and Bischoff yells at him. It turns out though that those were divorce papers and HHH hasn’t made up his mind. Sweet goodness why am I supposed to care about this stupid stuff?

Big Show vs. Booker T.

No DQ and a rematch from Raw. In other words, the same story as Jericho vs. Cena from Smackdown plus the stipulation. Booker’s early kicks are pulled out of the air as Big Show sends him flying. An enziguri slows Show down but that’s a bit too much selling so he clotheslines Booker outside.

A chair swing is punched out of the air but since this is Big Show, he screws up by clotheslining the post. They fight behind the announcers’ table as this is finally starting to play towards the gimmick. A monitor shot to the head knocks Show down and we get the big spot of the match with an ax kick through the table. Back in and another ax kick sets up the Houston Hangover to give Booker the pin, which is treated like a huge upset.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t anything great but the important thing here is Booker going over. Beating Big Show isn’t going to change his career or anything but it’s a sign that WWE is actually doing something with him. Not a great match of course as Big Show is mostly worthless at this point, though he’s fine for a punching bag.

Torrie Wilson and Dawn Marie argue over who is winning the main event.

Here’s HHH for the big contract decision. Bischoff comes out for the first pitch and suggests making HHH a movie star because everything will be business., meaning there’s no ex-wife to deal with on Raw. Talk of a sneaker deal brings out Stephanie with that horrendous “I’m all grown up” theme and Lawler saying she’s hot.

Stephanie brings up their past successes and says it’s all personal this time around. She even has an ace in the hole by bringing up Bischoff calling HHH a no talent back in the day. HHH insults them both and says he could say screw you to both of them, though Stephanie would like it. He’d rather go with the devil he knows (Stephanie)…..and here’s Shawn Michaels.

Shawn said he’d come out here but he doesn’t want to get in the middle of all this. The NWO is out of business and Shawn wouldn’t want to be in HHH’s shoes. However he wants HHH to remember something. The two of them had more fun together than anyone else ever and it would be a blast to make Bischoff miserable. HHH hugs Shawn and goes to Raw, wrapping this up at just shy of sixteen minutes, or longer than any match so far.

Actually we’re still not done as Bischoff has to rub Stephanie’s nose in it to make this even longer. Bischoff: “The one big difference between you and I? I’ve got testicles and you don’t.” Stephanie slaps him and leaves to her music to make sure we know she’s tough. So yeah, Stephanie is all awesome and amazing but Raw got HHH because like he was going to stick around on Smackdown.

Now we go to Rikishi of all people to hear about HHH leaving Smackdown. He thinks it’s bad.

Booker is glad HHH is coming to Raw. Are we really having a post announcement reaction show?

Tag Team Titles: Hulk Hogan/Edge vs. Un-Americans

Lance Storm and Christian are challenging here with no Test in sight. During the entrances, JR outdoes himself by saying Wrestlemania III was 15 years ago and saw Hogan face Ultimate Warrior. He then corrects himself by saying it was Wrestlemania VI because Wrestlemania III was here in Chicago.

Hogan dumps Christian out to the floor to start and there goes the bandana. Storm gets punched in the face as Lawler is talking about bra and panties. It’s off to Edge for some right hands in the corner, only to have Christian offer some cheating to take over for the first time.

The fans want Hogan as Edge fights out of a chinlock. It’s back to Hogan for the usual with the legdrop getting two on Christian as Storm saves. Hogan is sent outside for the superkick from Storm and the stomping begins. It ends just as quickly though with a double clothesline to drop Storm and Hogan.

The tag brings in Edge for a series of clotheslines and the ref gets bumped. Cue Test for the big boot to Edge, giving Storm two. They actually had me on that one for a second. Rikishi waddles down to deal with Test, allowing Jericho to come in and hit Edge with a belt for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D+. Not much to the match here but again they get the booking right by using Hogan and Edge as a transitional team to get the belts on a regular team. The Un-Americans aren’t the best act in the world but I’ll take them over thrown together teams like Rikishi and Rico.

Bischoff tries to get Angle on Raw. Kurt says they’ll talk later.

Stephanie promises to win the war because she’s in contact with EVERY Raw superstar.

The announcers recap the show.

We recap the World Title match. Rock tried to cost Undertaker the title at King of the Ring so Undertaker wanted to fight him. Then Undertaker vs. Angle went to a draw so Angle was added to this match.

Undisputed Title: Kurt Angle vs. The Rock vs. Undertaker

Undertaker is defending and comes to the ring without his bandana for a weird look. It’s a three way staredown to start with Undertaker and Rock jawing at each other while Angle waves his arms behind them. That earns him a double right hand and a big clothesline to send him outside.

Undertaker gets the same treatment but Kurt slides back in for a belly to belly on Rock. The champ takes Angle’s place and gives Rock a side slam for two. To really mix things up, Rock chokeslams Undertaker, which is pretty much just a release Rock Bottom anyway. All three are back in now and Rock grabs a horrible, HORRIBLE ankle lock on Kurt.

Angle gets out and Rock Bottoms Rock, only to get Angle Slammed by Undertaker. Cute sequence though Rock’s ankle lock was worse than his Sharpshooter. The spinebuster sets up the People’s Elbow with Angle pulling Rock to the floor and stealing the two count. Everyone heads outside with Rock being dropped onto the announcers’ table and Kurt getting busted open.

Old School, with a right hand to the face instead of the shoulder, gets two on Angle. The running DDT gets the same on Rock, who doesn’t even need help kicking out. Angle brings in a chair but gets caught in the middle of alternating right hands. The ref gets bumped (of course) and one heck of a chair shot knocks Undertaker out. An Angle Slam drops Rock as the referee is back up (good) but he kicks out at two and puts Angle in the Sharpshooter.

Undertaker saves and gives Rock the Last Ride, only to have Angle break it up with the ankle lock. That’s rolled through and now it’s the triangle choke that made Undertaker tap a few weeks ago. Rock makes a save this time and gets ankle locked, which is quickly escaped as well. A Rock Bottom gets two on Undertaker but he walks into the Angle Slam. One more Rock Bottom puts Kurt away to give Rock another title.

Rating: B. The over hyping hurt this as JR made it sound like the greatest thing he had ever seen. It’s certainly good and entertaining with the stolen spots sequence being one of the better parts but Rock winning the title by beating Angle isn’t great. Then again that’s how triple threats work most of the time and Rock is just holding it for Lesnar anyway.

Overall Rating: C-. This is such a forgettable show and there isn’t much other way to put it. The main event was very good but that’s really about it. Maybe they could have had a better match in the middle if we didn’t need a fifteen minute HHH announcement but that’s where the money is in this company, or so WWE would tell us. There’s just not much to say about this one and it shows badly. Summerslam will be the bigger deal though and that’s what really matters.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown – July 18, 2002: And There It Is

Smackdown
Date: July 18, 2002
Location: First Union Arena, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Vengeance but the bigger story here is the in ring return of the Rock who will be facing Kurt Angle to warm up for his World Title match on Sunday. Other than that we get to meet the first Smackdown General Manager, who I’m sure won’t be a huge disappointment and create a bunch of plot holes. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Eric Bischoff being announced as the Raw GM. Bischoff has promised to show up tonight and sign Rock, which apparently you can just do. The idea here is that he likes to steal talent, though I’m not sure why Vince would care since he owns both shows.

Opening sequence.

Chris Jericho vs. John Cena

Cena starts fast as has been his custom so far but misses a charge, sending him flying out to the floor. Back in and Jericho takes too long on top, allowing Cena to dropkick him down. A belly to belly and DDT get two each on Chris so he hits Cena low for the quick DQ.

Post match Jericho puts Cena in the Walls of Jericho and beats him down with a chair.

A smiling Bischoff arrives.

Bischoff goes looking for Hulk Hogan. Hint: it’s the room with the HULK HOGAN sign on the door. Hulk doesn’t seem interested and tells Eric that they’re not down south anymore. Eric asks if Edge is really attached to Smackdown but Hulk still doesn’t seem convinced.

Hurricane vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Chavo slaps the handshake away and gets taken down by a neckbreaker. Hurricane blows his knee out on a leapfrog though and Chavo wraps it around the post. The Tree of Woe makes things worse but Hurricane grabs him by the throat. Cole: “I think it might be the chokeslam!” That’s enough of a tip off for Chavo to take the knee out again. The knee is fine enough for a Shining Wizard and Blockbuster for two each but Chavo gets all fired up. A Brock Lock with Chavo lifting Hurricane up for a kind of powerbomb sets up an STF to make Hurricane tap.

Rating: C. The match was fine though I’d still like to point out that Chavo isn’t interesting on his own. He’s someone who really needs a gimmick because there’s just not enough there on his own. He looked extra vicious tonight though and the leg work was good stuff. Chavo can wrestle a totally acceptable match but that doesn’t mean he’s interesting.

Chavo is sick of these Rey Mysterio videos and challenges him to a match next week.

Vince arrives.

Rico offers Bischoff his services but Eric runs into Vince. Eric says he’s off to see the Rock to show off ruthless aggression.

Undertaker had a sitdown interview earlier (that’s not something you see every day) which he turns into a promo about how Rock and Angle are in for beatings. He and Angle could fight a thousand times and Kurt could never make him tap. This was a pretty rambling promo but Undertaker doesn’t get a lot of practice.

Billy and Chuck vs. Hardcore Holly/Big Valbowski

Billy punches Holly down in the corner to start but Hardcore hits his kick to the very lower ribs (Tazz: “This might not even hurt Billy!”) to take over. The partners come in with the veterans keeping Chuck in trouble. A belly to belly puts Hardcore down but the advantage lasts all of a few seconds until a double clothesline drops both of them. Venis gets a hot tag with what had to be a sweetened crowd pop. Everything breaks down and the Alabama Slam into the Money Shot finishes Billy.

Rating: D+. Sure why not. It’s not like the tag division has anywhere to go but up so give a new team a win to make them players. I know it’s not much and Holly/Venis aren’t going to be anything serious but it’s better to try to do something instead of running the same teams over and over again. Also, you can almost guarantee a passable match from the veterans and that’s better than taking a gamble on someone who won’t go anywhere and could put on a disaster.

Edge/Hulk Hogan/Rikishi vs. Un-Americans

It’s Edge and Storm to get things going and the other Canadians are quickly tripping Edge from the floor. The fans already want Hogan as we take an early break. Back with Edge still in trouble, including a chinlock from Test. The big boot misses though and Edge gets in the half nelson faceplant but Storm breaks up the tag. Do Canadian schools teach you how to cut off the ring? Edge powerslams Lance and brings Hogan in as everything breaks down. Storm’s superkick triggers the Hulk Up but Test breaks up the Stinkface. Not that it matters as Edge spears Christian and hits the Edgecution for the pin on Storm.

Rating: C+. Totally fine six man here and, again, they kept Hogan’s in ring time limited. The fans love him and want to see him do his stuff so why let him ruin a match due to age and physical limitations? This was exactly what it should have been, save for Rikishi being a bit of an odd fit with the champs.

Bischoff gives Rock his sales pitch and Rock says he’ll be at Raw….because he’ll be the new Undisputed Champion. See, Rock could go on any show and be a success. Rock could even show up on Frasier and make it electrifying. Bischoff thinks Rock would have been great on Nitro but Rock says he was too busy helping to put WCW out of business.

Here’s Vince to announce the new GM. Before we get there though, Vince says any talent can negotiate with any show if they’re interested. The Smackdown General Manager tried to put Vince out of business as well and has a history of ruthless aggression. The new boss is…..Stephanie McMahon, because being banished FOREVER means less than four months. As expected, she takes WAY too long to get to the point while screeching a lot. Short version: HHH is signing with Smackdown and she’s going to throw Bischoff out.

Stephanie goes to the back in full power walk mode to find Bischoff talking to the Un-Americans. We get the big staredown that a total of four people care about. Bischoff is willing to leave but says a lot can happen in three days. He’ll see her at Vengeance, assuming her AMAZING PRESENCE doesn’t melt him before then.

So yeah…..this isn’t a surprise. Everyone knew Stephanie’s banishment would never last because WWE exists as a way to make her look awesome. Ignore the fact that people don’t care and Stephanie’s angry voice is more funny than intimidating. This is the new version of Vince vs. Flair and Stephanie is a weaker talker than either of them, meaning things are already looking down.

Tajiri vs. Billy Kidman

The announcers hit the “let’s praise Stephanie” button in a hurry as the match is easily ignored. Tajiri fires off some chops in the corner but the reversal is enough to make the announcers acknowledge the match, only 54 seconds after the bell. Kidman gets caught in the Tarantula and we hit a chinlock to keep things slow. A good superkick drops Kidman but he bulldogs Tajiri down and drops the Shooting Star for the pin.

Rating: C. This was a victim of time as there’s only so much you can do in about 3:45 with a chinlock in the middle and a crowd that is still annoyed at the Stephanie announcement. The cruiserweights are starting to get somewhere and it’s only going to get better with Mysterio coming in as the division’s star.

Jamie Noble comes after Kidman and, with the help of Tajiri’s mist, powerbomb him down.

Jericho goes to see Stephanie and is given a match with Edge next week. Swearing ensues after he leaves.

Rey Mysterio is here next week.

The announcers run down the Vengeance card.

Kurt Angle vs. The Rock

Before the match, Angle promises to make Rock tap. Undertaker comes out to watch so just pencil in the post match brawl now. Rock charges to the ring and does those one punch knockdowns. They head outside with Rock suplexing him on the ramp but getting catapulted into the post for one of those awesome bumps.

Angle stomps him down and gets two off a clothesline, only to walk into a belly to belly. There will be no suplexing our American hero though and the rolling German suplexes get two on Rock. Angle spends a bit too much time talking to Undertaker but is perfectly fine with more suplexes.

A long chinlock fills in some time before the Angle Slam, with Rock bumping so hard it almost looked like a reverse AA, gets two. Rock pops back up and grabs the quickly broken Sharpshooter. They head outside with Rock going after Undertaker, only to catch Angle in the spinebuster without much effort. The People’s Elbow is loaded up but Undertaker comes in for the DQ.

Rating: B-. Not a great match or anything but perfectly acceptable as a big time TV main event, especially with Rock making his big comeback here. The triple threat will be fine and as long as it gets the title off of Undertaker, everything will be fine. Angle and Rock always have chemistry together and this was good, especially given the circumstances.

Post match Angle chairs Undertaker down and puts Rock in the ankle lock.

HHH is going to his limo (Was he even on the show?) when Stephanie comes up to him. She wants to have a professional discussion with him but HHH only asks if she’s gaining weight. He gets in the limo and Bischoff is waiting for him. Stephanie shouts a lot (I’m shocked) to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. I really can’t emphasize how much that Stephanie announcement sucked the life out of this show. It really does make you realize how much none of this show or company matter because it’s all about the McMahons. Even the Rock, who might be the most charismatic wrestler of all time, could barely make a dent in what Stephanie brings to this show. It’s an entertaining night but you can really feel where things change all at once.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Main Event – December 16, 2016: Making My Christmas Merry

Main Event
Date: December 15, 2016
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Michael Cole, Corey Graves

The dates on these shows continue to be all over the place as you hear about the show being on Friday but it’s already available, making me wonder why I care about these things in the first place. It’s been firmly established that this show has been taken over by the unstoppable force that is Darren Young vs. Jinder Mahal. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

SWEET! IT’S ANOTHER SPECIAL EPISODE! I’m assuming nothing was taped due to 205 Live being moved to Monday this week as Tuesday was Tribute to the Troops.

We’ll start with a match from Raw.

TJ Perkins vs. Brian Kendrick

An early wristlock doesn’t get Kendrick very far and he has to bail from the kneebar. The Wrecking Ball dropkick knocks Brian outside and we take a break. Back with Perkins hitting a jumping spin kick to the head and a springboard missile dropkick for two. The Captain’s Hook is countered into the kneebar so Kendrick dives over to the ropes. Back up and Sliced Bread #2 gives Kendrick the pin at 8:24.

Rating: C-. So flash back to any time these two have fought in the last few months and update the details as necessary. This wasn’t interesting because neither of the wrestlers are interesting. The triple threat has some potential but for the life of me I never need to see these two fight again.

Our first flashback shows Kane and Daniel Bryan exchanging presents. Bryan gets a Slammy and Kane gets…..a puppy! Kane: “Thanks. I’m starving!” Bryan: “NO! NO! NO!” I miss these two together.

And now, Ebenezer Piper. Oh this could be glorious. Jacob Marley comes to visit and tells him that three guests will be visiting the rotten Piper tonight. First up is the Ghost of Christmas Past and Piper makes jokes about his shoes. This goes nowhere so the Ghost of Christmas Present shows Piper how bad the Cratchits have things this year. Piper won’t give up his Scotch tape (it doesn’t make much more sense in context) so the Ghost leaves.

Finally we have the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come (Piper: “You don’t shave under your arms do you?”) and of course he shows Piper his grave. Roddy throws him out and that’s it. This really wasn’t funny and it’s just the standard Christmas Carol with Piper doing some of his standard jokes.

Long video on Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte.

We go back to December 2001 with the Rock in the ring talking about Test. Rock likes Test so much that he’s going to sing a little rendition of the 12 Days of Christmas. He lists off some things that Test is going to go through, including five seconds of the people chanting the Rock’s name. This was really fast but I’d completely buy Rock doing this off the cuff.

Back in 2012, Alberto Del Rio hit Santa with his car. This set up Cena vs. Del Rio in a Miracle on 34^th Street Fight and I think you can get the idea. During the match, Santa took a turn for the worse but, with his heart rate monitor to the beat of Jingle Bells, he came out to help Cena get the win. It turned out that Santa had a sock in his belt and a certain Mandible Claw was used.

Back in 1990, Bobby Heenan gave Gorilla Monsoon a banana. Heenan got some tools, which he used to break the janitor’s present. It turns out he got things a bit backwards though and broke his own present: a Rolex. Cue the wah wah wah music.

In 1997, a kid told Santa he wasn’t real so Steve Austin came out and Stunned the imposter for not knowing what Austin wanted when he was six. Jim Cornette: “He cracked Kris’ Kringle!”

We see the last ten seconds of New Day’s first triple threat win, plus the events that set up the main event. Only the last few minutes of the main event airs but New Day breaks the record. We also get the post match spear to Kevin Owens.

A rundown of Sunday’s card wraps up the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a situation where your individual tastes will vary wildly. This show wasn’t about much other than filling in time because they didn’t tape anything new. I’d much rather see something like this than just Raw matches though and it’s always cool to crack open the video library. Other than that pretty bad Piper thing, all of the clips were either short enough to not be bad or funny enough on their own. Good show this week and instantly more entertaining than two jobbers having a dull match.

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