Royal Rumble 2005
Date: January 30, 2005
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Tazz

It’s time for a new set of guys to take their place on top of the company and what better time to do that than at the Rumble? Other than the Rumble, we’ve got the final blowoff of Orton vs. HHH in a feud that still makes me shake my head to this day. Also it’s Big Show vs. JBL vs. Angle for the Smackdown Title in a match that sounds so uninteresting I’d rather watch last year’s show all over again. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is designed like a clock counting down in the Rumble. Cool idea there.

I almost forgot: this is the West Side Rumble, which is actually designed on a theme of West Side Story, as in gangs of Raw and Smackdown guys snapping their fingers and singing. Remember that THIS was considered the best idea and that someone received a paycheck for doing this. Let that sink in when you’re unemployed next time.

Edge vs. Shawn Michaels

Edge is mad that he didn’t get the title shot at Taboo Tuesday and is finally turning heel, which he would be for years to come. Edge jumps Shawn before Shawn can take off his vest, only to get sent back to the floor by Shawn. Back in and Shawn chops away in the corner but Edge comes back with a swinging neckbreaker to take over. Edge is embracing the evil here and pokes Shawn in the eye but it only ticks Shawn off, resulting in a Thesz Press by Shawn.

The Canadian is sent back to the floor but he catches Shawn in an Edge-O-Matic to take over again. A baseball slide keeps Shawn down and we head back inside. The fans are firmly behind Shawn here, which means the heel turn is working for Edge. Shawn tries a standing rana but gets caught in a powerbomb for two instead. Off to a rear naked choke from Edge which stays on for a good while.

As Shawn fights up, Edge slams him right back down to stop the comeback before doing Shawn’s pose. Shawn gets guillotined on the top but Edge jumps into a punch to the ribs for two. Shawn counters a belly to back suplex into a cross body for two but Edge clotheslines him right back down. We hit the chinlock again although for far less time here. Michaels comes back with an atomic drop and they mistime something pretty badly with Shawn waiting on one side of the ring while Edge stumbles around on the other side.

Anyway Shawn pounds away in the corner and grabs a rollup for two, prompting Edge to try to walk out. The imbecile of a referee holds Shawn back, allowing Edge to sneak up from behind and spear Shawn to the floor. Shawn finally crawls back in and Edge dances a bit. Edge tunes up the band and spears Shawn down for two more, sending Edge into a fit. He pulls his own hair out and does those awesome facials that only Edge can do.

With nothing else to try, Edge puts Shawn on top for a superplex, only to get knocked down for the flying elbow from Shawn. Sweet Chin Music is countered into an electric chair drop for two more and Edge is very frustrated. Edge rolls through a sunset flip into the Edgeucator (imagine a Sharpshooter but with Edge behind Shawn like an ankle lock) but Shawn makes the rope. After a small package gets two for Shawn, Edge reverses a rollup into one of his own and grabs the ropes for the cheap pin.

Rating: B-. Decent match here but at nearly 20 minutes it’s too long. I’m not sure if I like the ending or not either, as Edge cheating shows that he’s embracing the heel turn, but I don’t think cheating and then hitting a move like another spear would have been a bad choice either. Still though, solid way to further Edge’s turn and a very long opener, which isn’t a terrible idea.

Teddy and Eric banter about who is going to win. Apparently we’re doing the old school tumbler thing to draw numbers with. Flair and Eddie come in (Flair hits on Torrie of course) to draw and Flair is very happy with his number. Eddie is disappointed, so he picks Flair’s pocket and steals his number. See, THIS is the kind of stuff we need more of. It enforces Eddie’s character and is funny at the same time, unlike the stupid stuff we get today that doesn’t help anyone.

Heidenreich is panicking about caskets when Snitsky comes up. Heavy breathing ensues and Snitsky says he has an idea.

We recap Heidenreich vs. Undertaker. Basically Heidenreich wants to replace Undertaker is his chance in a casket match. Most people didn’t think much of Heidenreich and they would wind up being proven correct. He would be followed by Great Khali in the long line of strange guys to face Undertaker.

The casket is brought out.

Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Taker grabs a headlock to start and pulls Heidenreich towards the casket but (Jon) Heidenreich runs away. That works so well that we do it again and Jon is terrified. Since that didn’t quite work, Taker hooks the leg with a half crab, causing Heidenreich to crawl towards the ropes in front of the casket. As we ignore the problem of crawling to the ropes, Jon bails to the floor to take the fight out there.

Heidenreich sends Taker into the casket and pounds his head into it, which apparently isn’t a problem for him. Back in and Heidenreich pounds away in the corner, only to get caught in a modified triangle choke. Taker pulls the hold down to the mat and Heidenreich is almost out, so here’s Snitsky to break up the hold. After a double suplex to Taker, the monsters start pulling him to the casket…..which has Kane inside.

Kane, who was feuding with Snitsky over Snitsky punting a plastic version of the baby that Kane’s wife Lita (just go with it) lost, destroys both guys and takes Snitsky into the crowd. Heidenreich starts shoving the casket away very slowly before slamming Taker into the steps. Heidenreich slides the casket into Taker, which looks rather stupid as Taker had nothing behind him to be crushed against but whatever.

Back in and Jon puts on a cobra clutch which chokes Taker out enough to get him into the casket. Well mostly in at least as Taker sticks an arm out and chokes away. With Heidenreich’s torso in the casket, Taker drops the apron legdrop in the spot of the match. Back in and Heidenreich is suddenly fine, pounding away on the Dead Man and hitting a Boss Man Slam for a cover. Taker chokes his way out of the casket and wins a slugout, followed by a bad running DDT. Chokeslam and tombstone hit and we’re done.

Rating: D. This just didn’t work. At the end of the day, Heidenreich just didn’t work at all and he never came close to it. This was supposed to be a preview of Snitsky/Heidenreich vs. Kane/Taker at Mania, but thankfully they went with Kane in MITB and Taker vs. Orton in a great match, whereas Snitsky and Heidenreich didn’t even make it onto the show.

Teddy yells at Eddie to get Flair’s number back. Evolution comes in and a beatdown nearly ensues. Eddie has to give the number back, and he throws in Flair’s wallet too. Batista is going to go draw for the Rumble but HHH wants to talk about the match with Orton. Tensions flare but Flair calms things down. I think I smell a showdown.

Christian is here to draw his number and he’s well pleased. Cena shows up and hits on Christy but Christian isn’t pleased. He says rapping isn’t hard and challenges Cena to a battle rap. Tomko won’t give Christian a beat so he has to go it alone. Christian actually rhymes a bit but can’t rhyme charisma. Cena makes gay jokes and isn’t nearly as funny as Christian.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Big Show vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

This match has a backstory that isn’t important enough to explain to us. Apparently Angle had a last man standing match with JBL but the winner is even less important than the backstory. JBL is defending. Angle bails to the floor to start so Show runs over JBL a few times. There’s the loud chop in the corner followed by a legdrop which finally draws Angle into the ring for a save.

Now it’s Kurt getting a big chop in the corner. Cole says that’s like getting hit in the chest with a skillet. My question continues to be: how does anyone know what that feels like? Is that what goes on at WWE headquarters when there aren’t any shows on? Show clotheslines both guys to the floor to a surprisingly big reaction. Angle tries a German on the floor which fails completely, so Show picks up the steps.

Show loads up the announce table and climbs the steps to chokeslam JBL through said table. Before he can though, Angle hits Show low and blasts him with a monitor, knocking Show through the table. Back inside and Angle puts JBL in an armbar followed by a keylock. Kurt rolls the Germans but walks into a big boot for two. Big Show gets back in and there’s a double clothesline and headbutts all around. He slams Angle onto JBL to a big reaction. When did Big Show get this popular? Both guys get crushed in the corner and another double clothesline puts both guys down.

Show loads up a double chokeslam but the other guys go High/Low to take Show down. Angle Germans JBL down and hits a bad Angle Slam which gives JBL two. There’s a chokeslam to JBL but he gets a foot on the rope. Out to the floor and Show spears JBL through the barricade in his signature spot, putting all three guys down.

Back in and Angle goes after Show with a chair but gets flapjacked face first onto the steel. Mark Jindrak and Luther Reigns, Angle’s lackeys, come out for the save as JBL’s Cabinet try to wake up the champion. Show beats up Jindrak and Reigns as Orlando Jordan puts JBL in the ring for the Clothesline to pin Angle to retain.

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches I was expecting to suck but it wound up being pretty solid. Angle is going to be good no matter what he does and Show had some solid motivation out there for a change. JBL escaping with the title was a recurring theme for nearly a year until he ran into a buzzsaw called John Cena in a few months. Shockingly good match here.

Batista won’t sign Carlito’s petition to get rid of Teddy Long. Carlito loads up the apple, looks at Batista, and swallows. Funny bit.

Batista goes to draw his number and hears Bischoff bar Evolution from ringside for the next match. Big Dave seems very happy to tell HHH.

Long video recapping HHH vs. Orton. They hate each other, Orton was never supposed to get another shot, so tonight he gets another shot.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

HHH is defending. This is when Orton was still young and a not quite plucky face. He punches Orton to the floor and gets two off a dropkick back inside. HHH pounds away in the corner but gets caught in Snake Eyes to stop him cold again. Orton tries the RKO again but gets dumped to the floor, which thankfully doesn’t break his shoulder again. HHH sends him into the steps and heads back in for some knees to Orton’s back.

The Game goes after the taped up knee and wraps it around the post because he can. HHH modifies the cannonball down onto the leg by dropping an elbow instead of sitting on it. After a quick attempt at a small package by Orton, HHH puts on a LONG Figure Four, lasting way longer than almost any other I can remember. Orton finally turns it over, sending HHH retreating to the floor.

Orton sends him over the announce table and pounds away before heading back in for his backbreaker. A swinging neckbreaker gets two for Orton as does a regular one. The powerslam by Orton gets two as he doesn’t seem interested in selling the knee at all. HHH counters punching in the corner into an atomic drop to slow things down again. HHH goes up top for no apparent reason and gets armdragged down, allowing Orton to hit a top rope cross body (his old finisher) for two.

Orton counters a Pedigree attempt into a catapult but HHH counters the RKO for at least the third time before hitting the high knee for two. Randy is bleeding from the lip. The Pedigree is escaped again and Orton gets two off a clothesline. The champ rolls to the floor again and gets sent into the steps for trying to hide. Back in and Orton pounds away in the corner, only to miss a DDT attempt and possibly give himself a concussion.

The referee looks at Orton to stall even more, as I think they’re going for some big emotional moment where Orton fights through adversity. HHH charges at Orton and knocks out the referee at the same time. It’s hammer time but HHH misses his charge and hits the post. Back inside and Orton gets the hammer, only to have his head taken off by a clothesline. HHH throws away the hammer and hits the Pedigree to retain.

Rating: D+. As usual, these two do not work well together at all. This was one of their worse matches too, as Orton never seemed to have HHH even remotely in danger at all. At the end, HHH had Orton dead to rites for a long time and won clean (he never used the hammer) with a Pedigree. Orton’s face push was killed dead here so he had to turn heel and feud with the Undertaker soon after this. Not a good match and kind of headscratching booking.

Angle literally steals Nunzio’s number and spot in the Rumble.

Teddy tells JBL and company that Jibbles has to defend the title against Big Show in a barbed wire steel cage match at No Way Out.

Royal Rumble

Eddie Guerrero is #1 and Benoit is #2. Dang Benoit is on a run of bad luck in these things. I think we’ve got 90 second intervals again here. Feeling out process to start and they get into a technical standoff of course. Eddie hooks one of the few chinlocks in Rumble history until Daniel Puder, the winner of Tough Enough 4 (beating Mike MIZanin in the finals) is #3. He gets on the mic and says that he’ll be the first Tough Enough Champion to win the Rumble, drawing “are you serious” glares from Benoit and Eddie.

Benoit and Eddie fire off chops in the corner followed by a double suplex because they can. Eddie hits Three Amigos and Hardcore Holly is #4. Holly asks if he can have some fun with Puder and rips some skin off with chops in the corner. Benoit and Eddie get in some chops of their own before Holly kicks Puder low, hits the Alabama Slam, and throws him out. Hurricane is #5 as Guerrero and Benoit dump Holly.

Hurricane gets double teamed but Eddie tries a double cross, only to get chopped for his efforts. Hurricane hits a Blockbuster on Eddie but Benoit chops him down and whips him into Eddie for the elimination. Kenzo Suzuki (one of the most forgettable footnotes in wrestling history) is #6. Just like everyone else, Benoit and Eddie pound on him in the corner with chops and suplexes, but Benoit turns on Eddie ala earlier but only throws him to the apron.

Edge is #7 to a BIG pop. He beats on everyone in sight but gets clotheslined down by Benoit. Rey Mysterio is #8 and my goodness does Suzuki look out of place in there. Thankfully Rey headscissors him out about twenty seconds after entering, getting us down to an AWESOME tag match if they ever got around to doing it. Edge goes after Guerrero and here’s Shelton Benjamin, the current IC Champion and on pure fire at this point, at #9.

There isn’t a bad combination in the ring at the moment. Benoit tries to dump Rey but Eddie tries to put both of them out. Shelton can’t eliminate Edge so he walks into a headscissors from Rey instead. Here’s Booker at #10 to keep the talent level high. Question for discussion: who is the worst worker in the ring at the moment? Here’s Eric Bischoff to cheer on the Raw guys as Benoit puts Eddie in a Boston Crab.

Jericho is #11 to a BIG pop. Teddy Long comes out to cheer as well as various people beat on each other. Luther Reigns is #12 to stop the hot streak dead. With four Raw guys (Benoit, Edge, Jericho and Benjamin) and four Smackdown guys (Booker, Luther, Mysterio and Guerrero), it’s time for a showdown ala the West Side Rumble that the show is based on. That’s a cool idea in theory, but what happened to the “every man for himself” concept?

Muhammad Hassan is #13 and the match stops cold. Everyone surrounds Hassan and the group beatdown is on. The fans REALLY dig this, which says a lot about Hassan’s potential. He was going to win the world title over Batista in Washington DC at Summerslam, but real life issues got in his way. Hassan is out in less than a minute and here’s Orlando Jordan at #14. Tazz says we can compare Jordan to Benjamin. Other than a good look, talent, charisma or fan interest, they are indeed neck and neck.

Scotty 2 Hotty is #15 but Hassan jumps him in the aisle, keeping him from ever getting into the ring. Taker beat him down in the aisle in 2002 also so it’s not the best even for Mr. Hotty. The ring is getting too full now but most of the guys are talented enough that I can live with it. Charlie Haas is #16 and Luther is put out by Booker, as is Jordan. That clears things out a bit. Booker stops for a Spinarooni and charges into a low bridge from Eddie to get rid of him.

Renee Dupree is #17, giving us Benoit, Guerrero, Edge, Mysterio, Haas, Jericho, Benjamin and Dupree. The World’s Greatest Tag Team hits their Shelton jumps over Charlie spot to Renee but Shelton misses a splash in the corner and gets dumped by Edge. Simon Dean is #18 but he stops to do exercises on the floor before getting in. JR goes off on him in a funny bit. Eddie stops to look at him and Edge dumps Guerrero as a result.

Shawn is #19 and superkicks Simon out, doing some Hindu Squats to celebrate. Edge tries to corner Mysterio in a corner. JR: “Makes a lot of sense.” Shawn backdrops Charlie out and Kurt Angle is #20. He hits Angle Slams on everything in sight but tries the ankle lock on Shawn. Michaels rolls through and superkicks Angle out after less than 40 seconds. Coach is #21 and you can hear JR groan. He gets in a single shot on Benoit and runs to hide.

Edge tries to put Mysterio out and here’s Jindrak at #22. Angle comes back in and dumps Michaels before blasting him with the steps and putting him in the ankle lock. I’m thinking we need a masterpiece at Wrestlemania to settle this. Viscera is #23 and he pounds on everyone in sight. Paul London is #24 and nearly slides out of the ring from sliding in so far. Dupree takes him down but stops to dance, allowing Jericho to dump him.

London gets sent to the apron but slides back in as Cena (BIG pop) is #25. He gets in a shot on everyone and backdrops Viscera out. Cena and Benoit slug it out as Snitsky is #26. He’s still kind of a threat at this point and runs over everyone in sight. Londdon gets knocked to the apron again and hit with a HUGE clothesline for an even bigger backflip off the apron to the floor. That made a lot of highlight reels.

Snitsky and Cena stare each other down and John takes a big boot. Kane is #27 complete with pyro. Tazz: “WHY DO I HAVE TO SIT OVER HERE??? THIS IS NUTS!!!” Chokeslams all around as London is taken out on a stretcher. Jindrak goes out thanks to Kane and Coach of all people tries to avenge him. Batista is #28 and the pop that Cena got looks like a whimper. Snitsky is gone immediately and it’s time for a showdown with Kane. The crowd is WAY into Batista as he powerbombs Kane.

There goes Jericho thanks to Big Dave but Edge hangs on. Christian is #29 and he goes right after Cena. Cena is all like BRING IT ON and stomps Christian down in the corner. Rey hits a 619 on Kane and Cena FU’s the monster out. Flair is #30, giving us a final group of Benoit, Edge, Mysterio, Coach, Cena, Batsita, Christian and Flair. Not bad at all with one exception. Evolution teams up for a spinebuster on Coach for the elimination before doing the same to Christian.

Benoit chops away at Flair but walks into a spinebuster and the elimination by Ric. Flair goes for a toss out of Batista but gets glared at in response. Edge and Mysterio dropkick Batista down and Edge dumps Flair, getting us down to Edge, Mysterio, Cena and Batista. Edge spears Cena and Batista down but Mysterio avoids the one coming at him. There’s a 619 to the Canadian but a springboard legdrop misses and Edge spears Rey out. Edge charges at Cena and we’re down to Cena vs. Batista.

The fans REALLY like this (and they’re in red(ish) and blue to match their brands) and the staredown is on. Cena slaps away (clearly open handed) and tries the FU over the top but Batista blocks it. Dave loads up the Bomb but Cena fights out of it and they head to the ropes where both fall out, seemingly at the same time. Seriously, it’s so close you can’t fairly say one of them went out first.

We have a split decision, so here’s Vince to charge out, slide into the ring….and destroy his knees and rip both of his quadriceps at the exact same time. While Vince sits on the mat (and hopefully doesn’t seeing Batista dying laughing), both guys throw each other out and Vince restarts the match. Why this means we don’t start with Benoit and Guerrero again isn’t explained but it’s spinebuster and elimination for Batista, sending Big Dave to the main event of Wrestlemania.

Rating: A-. I don’t remember liking this as much the first time around but this was really good stuff. That segment in the first part with all the talent was reminiscent of the 1990 edition where there was a string of incredibly talented guys to start things off. Then things slowed down a bit, but once Cena hit the crowd, who was already red hot all night, got turned up to white levels and things went through the roof. Goofy ending (which wasn’t planned) aside, this was great stuff and a forgotten classic Rumble.

Overall Rating: B. This is a solid show overall with only the casket match being really bad. The Raw Title match isn’t terrible but it’s not worth watching either, especially with Orton’s lack of selling being horrible. Batista and Cena would of course go on to Wrestlemania to win both world titles and dominate the company for years to come, making this a truly game changing show. Good stuff here and certainly worth seeing.

Ratings Comparison

Edge vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B

Redo: B-

The Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Original: D-

Redo: D

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Big Show vs. Kurt Angle

Original: B

Redo: C+

HHH vs. Randy Orton

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Royal Rumble

Original: B-

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

Like I said, I liked the Rumble a lot more this time around.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/24/royal-rumble-count-up-2005-the-rise-of-the-new-generation/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 16, 2017
Location: Verizon Arena, Little Rock, Arkansas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

We’re less than two weeks away from the Royal Rumble and that means we’re getting closer and closer to finding out a lot of things for Wrestlemania season. The big story this week is the first announcement for the Hall of Fame and then probably finding out some more names for the Royal Rumble. Let’s get to it.

Martin Luther King Day video.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Roman Reigns to some of the loudest booing I’ve ever heard outside of a major city. Reigns can’t complain about getting beaten down when he’s outnumbered in a fight. He knows he lost the US Title but now he’s off to get the Universal Title at the Royal Rumble. Just in case you needed more proof that the US Title meant nothing on Roman. This brings out Paul Heyman who is almost immediately cut off by the GOLDBERG chants. Heyman gives us a spoiler for the Rumble but here are Kevin Owens and Chris Jericho to interrupt.

Jericho loves the idea of the Royal Rumble because no matter who wins, they’ll both wind up at Wrestlemania with both titles. Owens seems to agree but here’s Seth Rollins to cut them off. That means more promises of winning before Braun Strowman comes and stares Reigns down.

Strowman doesn’t say a word before Lesnar himself comes out. Sami Zayn runs in through the crowd and cleans house, including a Helluva Kick to put Braun outside. Brock throws everyone else down and is left alone with Sami, meaning it’s another German suplex for Zayn. Lesnar tells Braun to bring it on but Strowman drops to the floor, leaving Reigns to Superman Punch Brock. That earns him an F5 and Lesnar stands tall.

Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Rusev/Jinder Mahal

Enzo goes after Mahal to start but an elbow to the jaw takes him down. Mahal is sent outside and we take an early break. Back with Mahal dropping a knee on Enzo and Rusev grabbing a bearhug. Enzo slips out and the hot tag brings in Cass to clean house. Everything breaks down and the big boot to Mahal sets up the Bada Boom Shaka Laka for the pin at 8:35.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here as is so often the case with Enzo and Cass matches. We need to get to the Rusev vs. Cass match, assuming we’re still getting it. Enzo being back in the ring really doesn’t do much for me and I’d be glad to have him stay outside full time while Cass does the work.

Ariya Daivari vs. Lince Dorado

Jack Gallagher is on commentary. Feeling out process to start with Lince getting in some strikes and the springboard Stunner for two. Dorado completely misses a high crossbody and a wind up lariat (Rainmaker) sets up a cobra clutch to make Lince tap at 2:18.

We look back at Undertaker announcing that he would be in the Royal Rumble.

Video on the UK Title Tournament.

Earlier today, Nia Jax attacked Sasha Banks during a knee injury evaluation.

Tag Team Titles: Cesaro/Sheamus vs. Anderson and Gallows

Cesaro and Sheamus are defending as this feud just keeps going. Anderson starts with Cesaro but Sheamus makes a quick blind tag as his partner hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. The champs start speeding things up until Cesaro misses a charge into the corner so Gallows can drop an elbow for two. It’s off to an armbar on Cesaro’s shoulder which has been taped up since he returned back in April. A slingshot shoulder brings Sheamus back in as things pick up all over again.

Everything breaks down with Gallows kicking Sheamus off the apron as we take a break. Back with Cesaro coming in off the hot tag as everything breaks down. The spinning elbow gets two on Anderson and Gallows’ boot to the face gets the same. Sheamus comes in and punches the referee by mistake, leaving no count off the Magic Killer. The fans think it’s awesome as another referee comes in to count the pin at 13:00.

Rating: B. I liked the match but the story is just doing nothing for me. There’s no reason for me to care about either of these teams and that makes for a really hard sit whenever these guys come out to the ring. It’s just not interesting as there’s no reason for them to be fighting other than “well, we don’t really have any other options.” I’m sure this sets up a Rumble rematch because that’s what we’re stuck with for a title feud.

And never mind as it’s a Dusty Finish as the champs are disqualified and retain the titles.

We look back at the opening segment. Tonight it’s a six man main tag with Reigns/Rollins/Zayn vs. Owens/Jericho/Strowman.

Tribute video to Jimmy Snuka.

Emmalina video.

Sami, Rollins and Reigns talk strategy. Zayn sticks his fist out for the Shield pose and the other two leave. Rollins’ eyes were hilarious.

Tony Nese vs. Rich Swann

Non-title and a 205 Live rematch. And no match as Neville comes in through the crowd and attacks Swann.

Post break Neville yells at an interviewer for not having enough respect and promises to beat Swann for the title at the Rumble.

Here’s New Day to talk about the Rumble. The royal rumblings say that it’s going to be foe vs. foe but Big E. thinks that if one of them wins the Rumble, they all win and go on to be in the main event of Wrestlemania. Cue Titus O’Neil and even the announcers are saying enough already. Titus thinks he could replace one of them and take their spot in the Rumble. That’s a no of course so Titus will just take it instead. Big E. agrees to put his spot on the line if Titus agrees to leave New Day alone for good.

Titus O’Neil vs. Big E.

Joined in progress with Big E. putting on an abdominal stretch. Titus comes back with a Dominator to set up a chinlock followed by his own abdominal stretch. The spanking is enough to tick Big E. off and he runs Titus down with ease. The Warrior Splash sets up the Big Ending for the pin at 4:56.

Rating: F. Now NEVER LET TITUS NEAR THEM AGAIN! Move on to ANYTHING else!

Jim Duggan talks about winning the first Royal Rumble.

Here’s Charlotte to discuss the winning strategy that has kept her undefeated on pay per view. By that she means laughing at the idea of Bayley beating her at the Royal Rumble. We see some pictures of Bayley as a kid meeting people like John Cena, Ivory, Rob Van Dam and Bret Hart from years ago.

Charlotte even has some poetry from what looks like middle school while Charlotte was training and getting scholarship offers. We even get a video of Bayley reading her essay on wanting to be a professional wrestler. Charlotte cuts the video and reads it herself until Bayley runs out to chase her off. Bayley calls this unnecessary so Charlotte says she’s just like the average fan.

If Charlotte wants to bring up all these stories, Bayley has a story for her. She didn’t have a father who could just make a phone call and get her into WWE. What she did have is a father who would spend everything he had to get her a ticket to every show in San Jose because that was all she ever wanted to do. Bayley even has a new poem for Charlotte: Roses are red, violets are blue, at Royal Rumble, I will defeat you.

Another look back at the opening sequence.

Strowman isn’t interested in talking strategy with his partners tonight.

Cedric Alexander vs. Brian Kendrick

They start fast with Cedric knocking him outside for a moonsault off the apron, only to get pulled down into a full nelson on the mat. Both guys take elbows to the face but it’s Cedric taking over off a springboard clothesline. Kendrick counters what looked like a belly to back suplex into the Captain’s hook as Alicia Fox runs out to play cheerleader. Cedric makes the ropes as we see Noam Dar watching from the back. The distraction lets Kendrick get in a baseball slide to the back before telling Fox to beat it toots. Back in and the Captain’s Hook is countered into the Lumbar Check for the pin on Brian at 4:42.

Rating: C. Cedric is one of the smoothest in ring performers going today and Kendrick..well he’s there too. I’m interested in this idea of the Alicia Fox being crazy story but that might just be because Fox is on my TV more often. Other than that though, this was your usual cruiserweight match, meaning it wasn’t the worst match in the world but it didn’t do much for me.

Cedric walks off with Fox in the ring.

We look at Nia attacking Banks again.

Nia laughs at the idea of Sasha being the Boss and loved seeing Sasha holding her knee in agony. The hype was over and the Boss was broken.

Fox doesn’t want to talk about it.

Kurt Angle is announced for the Hall of Fame. That’s LONG, LONG overdue.

Roman Reigns/Sami Zayn/Seth Rollins vs. Kevin Owens/Chris Jericho/Braun Strowman

It’s a brawl before the bell and Strowman throws Reigns over the top as we take a break. Back with the match joined in progress with Jericho coming in and taking a beating from Reigns and Zayn. Owens gets the tag and chinlocks Sami down, followed by an enziguri for two. The backsplash hits knees though and the diving tag brings in Reigns to clean house. Rollins and Jericho go at it on the floor, leaving Strowman to choke Reigns down for two.

Back from another break with Owens cutting Seth off so the beating on Reigns can continue. Owens’ chinlock is countered into a Samoan drop and the hot tag brings in Rollins. Everything breaks down again and it’s Sami and Seth with back to back dives. Rollins’ springboard knee to the face gets two on Jericho but Braun shrugs everything off. The trio gangs up on him though and Sami’s high crossbody gets two. The Helluva Kick is easily blocked though the powerslam wraps Zayn up at 14:22.

Rating: C+. Nice six man here and a good upgrade over some of the stuff on this show. Strowman getting another big pin is a smart move and it made for a good way to wrap up the night. There was enough action to make the match work and the ending was much better than having a champion get pinned.

Strowman takes Sami up to the announcers’ table but Seth comes up with a chair and Reigns adds a spear. The evil Canadians return from whatever hole they fell into and go for the table but Jericho takes a Pedigree on the stage. Owens cleans house with the chair and powerbombs Reigns through the table to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I really wasn’t feeling this one as it seems that they’re running out of ways to push the Royal Rumble over this many weeks. The show could have been much worse but stuff like New Day vs. Titus and the Tag Team Title feud (good match, boring feud) are dragging this show way down. The main event was better with someone exciting like Sami involved but it still wasn’t all that great.

Results

Enzo Amore/Big Cass b. Jinder Mahal/Rusev – Bada Boom Shaka Laka to Mahal

Ariya Daivari b. Lince Dorado – Cobra clutch

Anderson and Gallows b. Cesaro/Sheamus via DQ when Sheamus punched the referee

Big E. b. Titus O’Neil – Big Ending

Cedric Alexander b. Brian Kendrick – Lumbar Check

Braun Strowman/Kevin Owens/Chris Jericho b. Sami Zayn/Seth Rollins/Roman Reigns – Powerslam to Zayn

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Royal Rumble 2004
Date: January 25, 2004
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 17,289
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is the show where you can really see the next generation rising up. The main events other than the Rumble are Lesnar vs. Holly and HBK vs. HHH. Ok so maybe the next generation only comes up in the Rumble. Other than that we don’t have much going on here but this show is all about Benoit in the Rumble. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about Shawn vs. HHH because that’s what people are watching the ROYAL RUMBLE for right? The theme of the video is that things can change in the blink of an eye.

Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Evolution

Flair and Batista are defending here and this is a tables match. Coach is ticked off at the Dudleys for putting him through a table six nights ago on Raw, because if there’s one man you need to give a reason to be a heel, it’s COACH. Batista makes fun of the Eagles because he hasn’t broken through to the other side of the glass ceiling yet. The fight starts in the aisle as you would expect. This is one table to a finish, meaning only one guy has to go through to end it.

Bubba slides in a table but shoves it hard enough that it slides across the ring and hits Batista in the ribs on the other side of the floor. Flair gets double teamed to start and caught in a powerslam by D-Von. There’s a table set up in the ring but Batista moves it before Flair gets suplexed through it. D-Von hits a Cactus Clothesline on Batista as Flair chops Bubba against a table in the corner.

Big Dave comes back in with some clotheslines to clean house but misses a charge into the post. The belly to back neckbreaker from the Dudleys puts him down and it’s Flair getting double teamed again. According to JR, the Dudleys are the only team to win the (non-vacant) world tag team titles at the Rumble. Coach heads to the ring to distract the Dudleys and prevent a 3D to Flair. Flair saves Coach and Batista hits a spinebuster to put D-Von through a table to retain.

Rating: D. This match fell into the same trap that all bad tables matches fall into: the dull set of spots that fail until one works for the win. You rarely get something that gets around this through sheer carnage such as the match at the 2000 Rumble, but this was just terrible. I have no idea what they were going for here as the fans were disappointed and they only had four and a half minutes to get into it. Also: real smart WWE. This is the right way to start a show in Philadelphia: have some of the most famous ECW guys ever lose.

Cena raps about winning the Rumble when RVD comes in to steal the joke. Weed jokes are made. Josh Matthews looks like the king of all tools here.

There’s an empty seat for Mick Foley in the front row.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

Rey is defending. This is during the Nidia is Blind phase which didn’t do anything for anyone. They speed things WAY up to start with Jamie avoiding the 619 and launching Rey into the air to take over. The champ gets draped over the top rope for two and a hard kick to the back gets the same.

Jamie hooks a chinlock which shifts into a seated abdominal stretch. Rey fights up and hits a dropkick and a springboard rana followed by the sitout bulldog for two. He springboards into a gutbuster from Noble for two though and momentum shifts again. Nidia accidentally grabs Noble’s foot, allowing Rey to hit the 619 and springboard legdrop…..for the pin? Huh?

Rating: D+. This was fast paced while it lasted, but those three words are the key: while it lasted. This barely broke three minutes which simply isn’t enough for a PPV title match. Unless I was missing it there was no sign of an injury or anything like that, but the match ends that fast. I have no idea what they were going for here but it didn’t work in any way at all. That’s a shame too because they were going well while it lasted.

Noble yells at Nidia post match.

We recap the battle of the Guerreros. Eddie was clearly the bigger star which was fine while they were champions, but once they lost the belts to the Bashams, Chavo blamed Eddie and turned on his uncle for losing his title. The Guerreros almost made up but they lost the rematch, after which Chavo let Eddie get double teamed by the Bashams. This was actually a pretty solid story despite how basic it was. Sometimes less is more. Oh and Kurt Angle was playing peacemaker and Chavo Guerrero Senior is in his son’s corner.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo bails to the floor before the bell and the fans are totally behind Eddie here. They fight over a lockup to start with no one being able to get an advantage. Chavo slaps Eddie in the face and now we’re ready to go. We hit the mat for a bit before Eddie starts snapping off chops in the corner. Chavo shoulders him down and we have a standoff. They chop it out again and Eddie goes to the eye like a true Guerrero.

Back to the mat with Eddie working on the arm before Chavo nips up and hooks a rana to send them both to the floor. Chavo sends Eddie into the announce table to finally take over and get some of the aggression going. Back in and they get into a kind of MMA style brawl on the mat until Eddie hooks a cross armbreaker of all things. That goes nowhere so Chavo suplexes Eddie down for two, followed by the Three Amigos. Eddie counters a tornado DDT and hits Three Amigos of his own. Chavo is down so Eddie goes up and hits the Frog Splash for the pin. ANOTHER quick ending tonight.

Rating: C+. This was way better than the other matches, but this felt like it was missing fifteen minutes or so. Three matches so far have combined to be about fifteen minutes long which is pretty lame for a modern PPV, even for the Rumble. This could have been a lot more, but the feud was completely done after tonight. Eddie would become #1 contender on the following Smackdown.

Eddie destroys Chavo post match in a pretty heelish display. Chavo gets busted open.

Ad for Mick Foley’s Greatest Hits and Misses. That’s the most entertaining part of the show so far.

Benoit likes his odds even though he’s #1 in the Rumble. Evolution comes up and says Orton is going to win the Rumble. Flair says Benoit may be great, but this is about Evolution tonight.

We recap Hardcore Holly vs. Lesnar. Brock broke Holly’s neck (legit) and Holly gets a world title shot out of it a year later. This is the textbook definition of the Rumble title shot where no one buys the champion as being in any danger whatsoever.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Hardcore Holly

Holly jumps Lesnar in the aisle and sends him into the post because he wants to break Lesnar’s neck. We get a bell and Holly misses an elbow off the top to give Brock control. They head to the floor where Holly’s back is rammed into the apron and Lesnar hooks a reverse body vice back inside. That goes nowhere so Brock hits a Shell Shock for two and it’s right back to the hold.

We shift to a bearhug and then one of the most wicked overhead belly to belly suplexes you’ll ever see. Off to a kind of rear naked choke by Lesnar to keep things dull. Holly makes his comeback with the dropkick and hits the Alabama Slam but goes for a full nelson and revenge instead of the title. Holly hooks the hold and goes to the floor with it but has to break the count. The F5 hits a few seconds later to complete the inevitable.

Rating: D. This was Brock Lesnar defending the world title against Hardcore Holly on pay per view. If you can’t figure out why this got the rating it got, I can’t help you.

We recap HHH vs. HBK which is allegedly seven years in the making. I’m guessing THIS is supposed to be the FINAL blowoff to their feud instead of the classic in 2002.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. HHH

HHH is defending and this is a last man standing match. They chop it out to start and punch each other in the corner a lot. Shawn tries a backslide before realizing that makes no sense here, so it’s back to the chops. Michaels gets caught in a facebuster as things slow down a bit. A HARD whip into the corner has Shawn’s back in trouble and a backbreaker makes it even worse.

Out of nowhere Shawn takes out the leg and hooks a Figure Four, because where would we be without a Flair tribute? That gets a five count so Shawn hits a chop block for a four. HHH low bridges Shawn and we head to the floor for a bit. HHH loads up the announce table but Shawn blocks a Pedigree attempt. They slug it out on the table with HHH getting knocked to the floor, drawing a bunch of booing from the bloodthirsty Philadelphia fans.

Back in and Shawn counters a Pedigree with a backdrop to the floor but he injures his back in the process. Shawn tries a springboard cross body to the floor but crashes through the table instead as only he can. Instead of letting the now busted open Shawn get counted out, HHH throws him back in for the count, which reaches seven. The champ pounds Shawn down a few times for a few counts, most of which don’t get that far.

A fast spinebuster (literally, as Shawn was flying at HHH and it almost looked like a belly to belly instead of a spinebuster) gets about six. That’s the problem with most last man standing matches: it’s a big move then standing around for the count. That makes it very hard to get any kind of flow going to the match. HHH cracks Shawn in the back with a chair but Shawn gets up again. A Pedigree onto the chair is countered into a slingshot into the post, busting HHH open as well.

Now Shawn cracks HHH in the head with a chair, allowing HHH to do his weird “my head hurts and I’m not sure where I am” face. There’s the forearm followed by the nipup from Shawn, followed by an atomic drop and the top rope elbow. That gets about seven so Shawn tunes up the band, only to walk into a low blow to put both guys down. Shawn hooks a sleeper which eventually gets an eight count before walking into a DDT to put both guys down.

That gets a double eight count before we head to the corner. HHH tries a belly to back superplex but Shawn counters into a cross body for another double eight count. The Pedigree hits but it’s only good for a nine. Shawn pops up out of nowhere with some more Sweet Chin Music, putting both guys down for ten which keeps the title on HHH.

Rating: C-. The problem here is exactly what I said earlier: this was a lot of laying around. The last seven minutes or so had about five moves combined, as most of the match was “move, lay down, move, lay down, move, lay down.” The idea is supposed to be a ton of drama, but that didn’t happen here. Shawn would turn into a jerk in the next few weeks and insert himself in the Mania main event because of this ending.

Rumble video with a focus on Benoit.

The Fink is ready to start the Rumble but here’s Bischoff to run his mouth. He says that a Raw guy is going to win the Rumble because he’s respected as a GM. He runs down ECW, which brings out Heyman for a brawl. Cue Austin on his ATV to say that these two are both in violation of the law (he was called Sheriff Austin at this point) and wants to know who started it. Heyman and Bischoff: “HE DID!” Both guys get Stunners and the fans love it.

Goldberg, #30 in the Rumble, doesn’t get to talk because Lesnar comes in to interrupt him. Lesnar is called a coward, which will come into play later.

JR has to admit Foley is a coward because he isn’t here yet.

Royal Rumble

Benoit is #1 and the Intercontinental Champion Randy Orton is #2. Two minute intervals here again. They pound away on each other to start with Benoit taking him to the mat to stomp away. Mark Henry is #3 when he was a fat power guy with no direction at all. Allow me to be more specific: he’s still with Teddy Long. Benoit gets double teamed for awhile until Tajiri is #4. These intervals don’t seem to be two minutes or anywhere close to it.

The handspring elbow takes Orton down but Benoit rolls some Germans on Tajiri to take him down. Tajiri only gets two as I guess Benoit is conserving strength. Henry throws Orton to the apron but stops looking like an idiot. Bradshaw is #5 and he immediately clotheslines down everyone not named Benoit. Benoit takes offense to being left out and puts Bradshaw in the Crossface before pulling Bradshaw out. Eh he would get a nine month title reign stating in the summer so I feel no sympathy for him.

Rhyno is #6 as we’re flying through this so far. He goes after the two starters as Tajiri fires off kicks on Henry. Tajiri gets a half Tarantula on Henry but Henry gets Gored, knocking Tajiri out in the process. Benoit clotheslines Henry out and we’re down to three again. Matt Hardy is #7 and Benoit throws him to the apron almost immediately. In FAR less than two minutes, here’s Scott Steiner at #8. Oh dear it’s Scott Steiner at the Royal Rumble. This could be a disaster.

He starts firing off suplexes immediately but at least this time there are some t-bones to go with the belly to bellies. Benoit rolls some Germans on him as if to say THIS IS HOW YOU SUPLEX SOMEBODY. Things slow down a bit and here’s Matt Morgan at #9. He takes Benoit down with a Batista Bomb takes Benoit down and pounds away on Orton in the corner.

The Hurricane is #10 and comes in off the top with a cross body to Hardy. He goes after Morgan for no apparent reason and is thrown out in less than twenty seconds. Morgan throws Hardy to the apron again but can’t get him out. Booker T, complete with the stupid remix of his theme music with Booker singing, is #11. Booker immediately goes after Steiner in a revisiting of their WCW feud that no one was asking for.

Nothing of note happens until Kane is #12. This is after he buried Taker alive. For the first time. Steiner gets dumped by Booker during Kane’s entrance. Kane starts firing off chokeslams and other various power moves for which he is well known. The clock runs down at #13 and there go the lights. A gong goes off and Kane PANICS. Booker uses the distraction to dump Kane and here’s Spike Dudley at #13. He never makes it to the ring as Kane destroys him for setting off the gong.

Everyone tries to throw each other out while laying on the ropes until Rikishi is #14. Benoit dumps Rhyno to keep us at six people (Benoit, Orton, Rikishi, Booker, Morgan, Hardy) in the ring. Morgan gets a Stinkface and nothing else happens for a bit. Renee Dupree with the French Tickler is #15. In a surprising moment, Dupree actually knocks Matt out, only to be superkicked out by Rikishi a second later.

A-Train is #16 and goes right for Rikishi. Benoit avoids the yet to be named Carbon Footprint and dumps Morgan. I love that they’re keeping the ring from getting full. Orton dumps Rikishi and Booker as Shelton Benjamin is #17. Benoit dumps A-Train during his entrance and Orton dumps Shelton a few seconds later to get us back to two. Orton pounds on him a bit but they crack heads to put both guys down.

Lamont, the announcer for Ernest Miller (complete with the music that would go to Brodus Clay eight years later), runs out to introduce the Cat at #18. After some dancing (and singing by Tazz), Orton dumps him out. Miller would be released in like two weeks. Kurt Angle is #19 and he might be a bit harder to get out. He’s fighting for AMERICA here so the fans tell him he sucks.

Benoit and Angle destroy each other with chops and punches as only they can while Orton is content to chill in the corner. Rico, now in his Adrian Street phase, is #20. He fires off some kicks but lasts about as long as you would expect him to in a match with Orton, Angle and Benoit. The RKO takes care of Rico as Benoit rolls a ton of Germans on Angle. Test is #21…..and is nowhere in sight.

Orton RKO’s Angle and we cut to the back to see Test unconscious. Austin sees someone off camera and says they’re #21. The off camera man and presumable attacker: MICK FREAKING FOLEY! Orton, the guy who spat in Foley’s face and called him a coward, PANICS. The place goes nuts and Foley explodes on Orton, beating him half to death and hitting a Cactus Clothesline to put both of them out. This would lead to some AWESOME matches at Mania and Backlash which put Orton up to the world title in August.

Foley keeps beating on Orton as Christian is #22. Mick picks up the steps and BLASTS a security guy who tries to stop him. Orton comes back with two chair shots and fires back at Mick. They brawl up the ramp and Foley pulls out Socko, only to put it on Nunzio who comes in at #23. We haven’t seen anything of the match for awhile but I can live with that for a hot brawl like this. Orton kicks Foley low and runs as we go back to the ring.

Angle is getting double teamed as Nunzio is down on the floor. Big Show is #24 and apparently that’s Tazz’s pick. Thankfully he’s in the singlet and shorts again instead of the one piece swimsuit. Angle immediately goes after him but Show throws everyone around. Jericho is #25 as he’s in a weird phase of his career. He wasn’t a main event guy anymore but he had feuded with everyone in the midcard already so he just kind of hung around and filled in spots on the card.

All four guys go after Big Show (who has a head like a typewriter according to Tazz) but they can’t get him out. Charlie Haas is #26 but gets double teamed by Jericho and Christian. Currently we have Benoit, Angle, Jericho, Christian, Haas, Big Show and Nunzio who is on the floor. Jericho backdrops Christian out for the second year in a row as Billy Gunn is #27. Apparently this is a return for him. It’s Fameassers all around and then things slow down again.

John Cena is #28 and that pop is growing at an alarming rate. Show stares him down so Cena throws Nunzio in to kill some time. Nunzio goes after Show for some reason but Cena takes over for him to make it fair. RVD is #29 to a big pop of his own. It’s spin kicks all around until things settle down a bit. There’s an FU to Angle and Goldberg is #30. The final group: Benoit, Angle, Big Show, Jericho, Nunzio, Haas, Gunn, Cena, RVD and Goldberg. At least the ring didn’t fill up until the end so that’s not too bad.

Goldie spears a lot of people down to start before Nunzio jumps on his back like an idiot. Haas is put out and Nunzio takes a HUGE spear. Gunn is out as is Nunzio to get us down to seven. Goldberg loads up a Jackhammer on Show but Lesnar runs in with an F5 to break it up. Goldberg stares down Brock, allowing Angle to dump him out. All five remaining guys not named Big Show go after the one named Big Show but it still doesn’t work.

Everyone hits their finishers on Show instead with Cena (Show’s feud at the time) hitting the Shuffle instead of the FU, which I’m assuming they were saving for Mania. They try to dead lift Show and realize they screwed up by knocking a giant unconscious. Show shoves them all off and dumps Cena followed by Van Dam a few seconds later.

So it’s Big Show, Benoit, Angle and Jericho as the final four. Jericho gets sent to the apron twice and manages to hang on before bulldogging Show down. The Walls go on Show and he taps but Angle breaks the hold up for no apparent reason. Show chokeslams Benoit down but chokeslams Jericho even further, sending him to the floor to get us to three. A side slam puts Angle down and there’s another chokeslam to Benoit.

Show breaks up a German attempt from Angle but can’t block an Angle Slam. There’s a Slam to Benoit (it was a belly to back suplex but whatever) and the ankle lock to Show. Show taps again, but again it doesn’t mean anything. The big guy rolls through the hold and eliminates Angle in the process, getting us down to two.

Benoit dropkicks Show but knocks him back into the ring by mistake. A chokeslam is countered into the Crossface and Show taps again, but you know the drill by now. Show shrugs it off and picks Benoit up in a chokeslam. Benoit graps a front chancery though and pulls Show to the apron….then has him teetering on the ropes…..AND BENOIT WINS! The crowd kept getting louder as Benoit pulled further and further. Awesome sequence there.

Rating: A. There were some slow spots but this was ALL about Benoit and I can’t complain about that at all. The ending sequence here with all three submission guys making Show tap was a cool idea and different than the ending to any other Rumble. They didn’t throw a stupid curve here and made Benoit look like a star here, which is exactly what he was supposed to do. Great Rumble.

Overall Rating: B-. The Rumble is really REALLY good but the rest is horrible. Don’t watch the rest of the show, but if you’re a Benoit fan and can still sit through a long match of his, this is absolutely required viewing. Things would change a bit more the next year as two REALLY big names would be the stars of the Rumble, but that’s not for another year. For now, this was all about Benoit and he nailed it.

Ratings Comparison

Evolution vs. Dudley Boys

Original: C

Redo: D

Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

Original: N/A

Redo: D+

Chavo Guerrero vs. Eddie Guerero

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Brock Lesnar vs. Hardcore Holly

Original: D-

Redo: D

HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Royal Rumble

Original: A

Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Just as last time, the Rumble is the only thing worth seeing.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/23/royal-rumble-count-up-2004-he-who-must-not-be-named/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

As much as wrestling is built on wrestling, what really matters the most are the moments that come to define wrestling. The little pieces of a match or a show are what will be put on highlight reels and designed to last forever. How many times have you heard about the Wrestlemania moment being what matters almost more than the match results themselves? Every year has a list of special things to see and today we’re looking at the moments of the year. As always, these are in no particular order.

1. New Day Breaks Demolition’s Record – Monday Night Raw – December 12

We’ll start with the most recent moment as one of the longest standing record title reigns came to an end. Originally set in 1989, Demolition had held the record for the longest Tag Team Title reign in WWE history (assuming you ignore the Women’s Tag Team Titles of the late 1980s) and it had seemed almost unapproachable. However, about halfway through the year, it became clear that New Day might actually have a shot at it.

New Day won the Tag Team Titles at “Summerslam 2015” and managed to hold onto them for over a year, putting them just a few months away from the record. With just a few weeks to go, New Day had one team after another thrown at them with a final triple threat match left between them and the record. New Day survived that title defense and then a second announced during the show, leaving them with the new record in a great show of emotion.

This is one of the moments that is more historic than anything else. The idea of someone breaking a record that was set the better part of thirty years ago seems almost unthinkable anymore but New Day managed to pull it off. The smiles on all three members’ faces showed you everything you needed to know about the moment and the team surviving was exactly what it needed to be.

2. AJ Styles Debuts – Royal Rumble

Since the debut of TNA in 2002, Styles was one of the biggest names to never work for WWE full time. Early in 2016, that changed forever as Styles debuted for the company as the #3 entrant in the Royal Rumble. This was the kind of thing that the Royal Rumble is made for and it became one of the best debuts ever in the history of the event.

Now that being said, WWE almost managed to screw this up. If you notice in the video, we don’t actually see Styles make his debut as the camera is locked in on Roman Reigns. You can hear the fans’ reactions but for the life of me I don’t know why we need to see Reigns at this point. Thankfully WWE released a slightly edited version of the video which shows the reason the crowd reacted.

Styles lasted nearly half an hour in the match but the bigger story here was the debut itself. This was one of the few dream signings left in the wrestling world and everyone knew what was coming as soon as Styles stepped through the curtain. The crowd knew what was coming and it helped that Styles wound up more than living up to the hype, but it was the entrance that really made it work in the first place.

3. Dean Ambrose Cashes in – Money in the Bank

dThis is one of those ideas that is done too often but when it works, it works to perfection. That’s what we had here as Ambrose became the second Money in the Bank winner ever to cash in on the same night (along with Kane in 2010). It was also a way to tie it back into the previous year when Seth Rollins defeated Ambrose at the exact same show, meaning Ambrose was finally back to even with his former Shield teammate.

The idea of someone cashing in on the same night that they win the Money in the Bank briefcase is something that is teased every single year but almost never winds up happening. Ambrose is the kind of crazy man who fits the idea of cashing in on the same day because you just can’t predict what someone like him is going to do.

The Shield is another important part to this story as Ambrose cashed in on Rollins, who had just won the title from Reigns. In other words, in the span of about five minutes, all three Shield members held the WWE World Title. That’s not bad for the same night and is something that is almost never going to be topped.

4. Goldberg Squashes Brock Lesnar – Survivor Series

Over a month has passed since this one happened and I’m still not sure what to think about it. Goldberg defeated Lesnar in less than ninety seconds, handing Lesnar his first pinfall loss in over three years. It was an old school Goldberg squash and I don’t think that’s what anyone expected. This is one of those things where there are going to be different opinions on it no matter what but it was certainly something that got people talking.

Lesnar had been the most dominant force in wrestling for a very long time and he just loses in less than a minute and a half. While some people could have seen Goldberg winning the match, the idea that the match would actually happen this way was borderline unthinkable. I remember it flashing in my mind as soon as the first spear hit but then it immediately left my head. By the time I knew what had happened, Goldberg’s music was playing again.

This is something that is a once in a generation idea but it certainly worked at the time. I’m almost sure we’ll see them fight again in a much longer match but there’s almost no way it’s going to live up to this one. I still don’t think it was the right call and would have had someone actually on the regular roster be the one to take down Goldberg but I will certainly never forget this one or how much I lost my mind as soon as the match ended.

5. Shane McMahon Returns – Monday Night Raw – February 22

Now this one is all shock value because everything after it was kind of a mess. McMahon hadn’t been seen since 2009 and he was one of the last names you would ever expect to actually show up again. Depending on who you believe, this was the replacement for an injured John Cena as McMahon would go on to face the Undertaker at “Wrestlemania XXXII”.

So in other words, we had not only a huge return but the returning star now has a big match set up. It’s a rare moment where the fans were somewhat worried about who might be coming through the curtain but no one expected it to actually be McMahon himself. Despite being in his mid-40s, the fans ate up the idea that he was back and standing up to his father for everyone else.

Watching all the WWE wrestling offered every single week often numbs you to surprises because either A, you’ve heard the rumors in advance or B, you can pretty much guess what’s going to happen. This was a rare instance where the necessity met the surprise and everything wound up working as well as it could have. That doesn’t happen often and it’s one of the best moments of the year.

6. Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte Main Event “Hell in a Cell 2016” – Hell in a Cell

This is one that really could have been a double entry as the fact that the women were even inside the Cell in the first place was historic enough. However, as soon as Rollins and Kevin Owens started their match, it was clear that we were in for something that had never been seen before in wrestling: women main eventing a major pay per view event.

As has been the case with so many of the milestones involved in the women’s revolution, this is something where you have to consider where things were just a few years ago. A few years back, it was reasonable to expect the women to get five minutes on a pay per view if they were lucky that month. The idea of the match being even remotely entertaining on top of that was just a bonus.

The match was immaterial compared to the fact that it was taking place though. What should have been a pretty nothing card wound up being something that had been built up for the last year plus and was finally being paid off by what was little more than a pipe dream beforehand. Banks and Charlotte are the first women to ever do something like this and hopefully they won’t be the last. It happened once though and that’s what makes it matter.

7. Shane McMahon’s Cell Dive – Wrestlemania XXXII

It’s rare to have a moment that works both as an homage to a more famous moment and as a moment all on its own. While a lot of people (myself certainly included) weren’t happy with Shane being on the show in such a high profile match, it’s safe to say that this made up for a little bit of it.

With nothing else working against the Undertaker (because Shane McMahon needed to get in offense on the Undertaker), Shane knocked him onto the announcers’ table, climbed the Cell, and dropped a huge elbow….which completely missed as Undertaker moved away. Ignoring what looked to be a crash pad underneath the table (thank goodness), this was one of the scariest bumps in years around WWE.

This was one of those moments that just worked based on what it was. He flew off the Cell and crashed through a table in a moment that doesn’t quite rival Foley but at least it was one heck of a memorable moment. Shane is always good for some excitement and that’s what we got here, assuming you can ignore the fact that this was what Undertaker was doing at Wrestlemania.

8. AJ Styles Wins the WWE Championship

One more AJ moment because this was his year. A few years back, who would have thought this could actually happen? Styles was stuck in TNA, clearly miles ahead of most of the roster but that pesky loyalty of his kept him from jumping to WWE and left him stuck there, dealing with whatever nonsense Dixie Carter approved that usually involved her being on TV in prominent positions.

Now flash forward to September when Styles beats Dean Ambrose and becomes the Smackdown World Champion, which is the title carrying the original WWE Championship lineage. That happened and it happened on a WWE pay per view. The fact that he debuted just a few months earlier and was rocketed up the card is amazing enough and, as expected, the match was great.

Styles is someone who had some very high expectations coming in to WWE and at least he lived up to so many of them. FINALLY seeing him reach this level in America was worth the wait and the fact that he’s been one of the best wrestlers in the world on the biggest stage makes things all the better.

For the first time this year, I’m really not sure which one to pick. Is it the moment that shocked almost everyone watching or the moment that is going to mean something in the history books? Honestly this is a very hard one to go for and I could see it going either way, which isn’t often the case.

However, there’s one thing that makes my decision for me: the feelings that came with the moment. Based on that, I have to go with Goldberg squashing Lesnar. That match had my head spinning for a good while after it was over and that doesn’t happen to me very often. It made me want to see what was happening next while leaving me a combination of excited and upset at the same time. It’s rare to have emotion like that in wrestling today and it makes all the difference in the world.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

WWE UK Tournament
Date: January 15, 2017
Location: Empress Ballroom, Blackpool, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, Nigel McGuinness

We’re back with the second and final day of the tournament where we’re see the first champion crowned. The first day was more fun than I was expecting with some good action and a few personalities getting to stand out. I’m not sure who is getting the title but that makes it a lot more fun. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last night’s show. Seems appropriate.

Recap of Pete Dunne attacking Sam Gradwell along with their first round matches.

The second round has twenty minute time limits.

Quarterfinals: Pete Dunne vs. Sam Gradwell

Gradwell, with tape on his back after the attack from yesterday, goes right after him to start and clotheslines Dunne to the floor. That means a big suicide dive and Dunne is sprawled all over the place. A butterfly suplex on the ramp has Pete in more trouble as the story from last night has already done this match a lot of good. A missile dropkick drops Dunne but hurts Sam’s back as well.

The back is fine enough for a Michinoku Driver for two on Dunne as this is one sided so far. Pete rolls outside and takes a crossbody with the fans getting WAY into Gradwell. Back in and Dunne shoves him off the ropes for a big crash onto the apron, messing up the back all over again. Gradwell dives back in to beat the count but gets slammed into the corner to give Pete the pin at 4:50.

Rating: B-. This was all about the storytelling which is the most important thing you can get around here. The story with the back injury made things interesting and Pete came off as the real villain of the whole thing, which is a perfect role for him. I bought the idea that he wanted to win no matter what the cost and that gives him a character going forward.

Dunne says he was making a name for himself last night and that’s not controversial.

We look at Joseph Conners and Mark Andrews’ first round matches.

Quarterfinals: Joseph Conners vs. Mark Andrews

Andrews starts with some very fast rollups for two each but Conners elbows him in the face to cut off the offense. Joseph tries his own sunset flip, only to have Mark roll through and dropkick him down for two more. That sends Joseph outside but he avoids a moonsault off the apron and drop toeholds Andrews into the steps.

The fans are entirely behind Andrews and an enziguri staggers Joseph enough to give Mark a breather. Andrews sends him into the steps to even things up and there’s a cannonball off the barricade for good measure. Back in and Andrews’ standing moonsault hits knees and a slingshot Downward Spiral (cool) gives Conners two. Joseph takes too long putting Andrews on top though and a super hurricanrana brings him down. The Stunner out of a suplex (Stundog Millionaire) knocks Conners silly and the shooting star sends Andrews to the final four at 8:14.

Rating: C+. As much as I didn’t like Andrews in TNA, it’s rather amazing to see how much more interesting he is when he doesn’t have TNA holding him down. I mean, he’s not great or anything but he’s perfectly watchable, which is a HUGE improvement over being one of the least interesting guys I’ve seen in such a long time.

Wolfgang and Trent Seven first round recaps. Cole mistakenly says Seven beat Roy Johnson in the first round.

Fit Finlay is here.

Quarterfinals: Wolfgang vs. Trent Seven

They start slow for a change until Seven slaps him in the face. That earns him a suplex and they head outside to start the brawl. A moonsault off the barricade crushes Seven but Wolfgang bangs up his knee. A suicide dive drops Wolfgang again but he comes right back with a superplex to put both guys down.

The Seven Star Lariat is countered into Wasteland, only to have Wolfgang miss the moonsault. Another Seven Star actually connects for just two so Seven actually tries a super piledriver. Since there’s no way that’s happening, Wolfgang headbutts him down and hits the Howling (Swanton Bomb) for the pin and the big upset at 6:43.

Rating: C+. This was a better performance from Wolfgang than last night and I’m really surprised at the upset as Seven looked like a threat to win the whole thing. It’s a good match though the surprise that Seven went out that fast is pretty jarring. At least we had a surprise though and that’s a good thing.

Jordan (not George as Cole puts it) Devlin and Tyler Bate first round recaps.

Quarterfinals: Jordan Devlin vs. Tyler Bate

Bate tweaks his mustache instead of shaking hands, earning himself a forearm to the back of the head to start us off. That doesn’t last long as Devlin is knocked to the floor for a suicide dive, only to have Devlin start in on the arms. A monkey flip gets Bate out of trouble and a middle rope elbow to the jaw gets two. Devlin actually hits Bate in the face with the rope, only to miss a moonsault. The Tyler Driver 97 is countered with a hurricanrana but the second attempt sends Bate to the semifinals at 6:06.

Rating: C. Bate is very up and down but the time issues are causing problems on this show. There’s only so much that can be done in a six minute match, especially with people we have less than ten minutes of time with in the first place. Devlin going out this early is a surprise but at least the fans are responding to Bate and he has a great finisher.

I love the little wave that Bate does.

Here are the updated brackets:

Pete Dunne

Mark Andrews

Wolfgang

Tyler Bate

Video on the final four and how they want to win.

Robbie Brookside is here.

Semifinals: Pete Dunne vs. Mark Andrews

Dunne takes him straight to the mat and grabs a chinlock but a spinning armdrag sends Pete to the floor. That of course means a big flip dive as Andrews has shown me more in the last two matches than in his entire TNA run. As usual, I blame TNA. Pete bends the fingers back and goes for the stomp on the steps but Andrews snaps off a hurricanrana to take over again.

A standing 450 moonsault (GEEZ) gets two on Dunne and a springboard hurricanrana sends him outside again. Didn’t we just see this? Andrews’ latest dive is caught and dropped onto the apron, followed by a release suplex (the X Plex) onto the ramp. That’s still not enough to get a countout so Dunne stomps away on the head. Back in and yet another X Plex is countered into the Stundog Millionaire (that name is rapidly losing its charm).

Dunne has a counter of his own though as the shooting star is reversed into a rollup for a very close two. The pumphandle Downward Spiral (Bitter End) is broken up and the fifth or so X Plex is countered into the fourth or so hurricanrana for two. Another shooting star misses and ANOTHER FREAKING X PLEX sets up the Bitter End to send Dunne on at 10:45.

Rating: B-. This match is going to get high praise and I get why but DANG I was getting tired of that stupid X Plex in the second half of the match. I don’t like it when Lesnar does the same suplex over and over and Dunne is the same way. It’s still entertaining enough but this is going to be praised to death for one of the things that gets on my nerves more than anything else.

Cole and McGuinness talk about their media coverage over the last few days.

Semifinals: Wolfgang vs. Tyler Bate

They talk trash for the first minute plus until Bate is driven into the corner. That earns Wolfgang some hard shots to what might be a broken nose. Bate is too small to pick him up though and Wolfgang takes him down again. The middle rope moonsault misses again and Bate kicks him in the nose. You don’t kick a guy named Wolfgang in the face so he grabs a gorilla press into a powerslam (which the announcers say is like a Pop Up Powerbomb). The Howling is WAY off though and the Tyler Driver 97 ends Wolfgang at 6:00.

Rating: D+. Maybe it’s just overkill but I’m having some issues caring for either of these guys. Bate is small and young enough to make for an interesting character in this big underdog run and that’s all you can do with some of these characters. Bate vs. Dunne is a solid little story and I’m sure the match will be good. Watchable match here but the clock issues keep hurting things.

Wolfgang shakes hands post match and leaves, allowing Dunne to come out here and send Bate shoulder first into the post. Regal comes out to chase him off with Dunne PANICKING. At least there’s something for the finals.

Nigel, a good commentator, tells us that Dunne uses an arm hold. Above all else, that felt natural instead of like they were hammering it over our heads. Simple, yet effective.

Medics check on Bate who finally sits up. The shocked look on his face is a nice touch.

Here’s Neville for a match but first he’s got something to say. Neville gets a HUGE ovation but he talks about being forgotten by everyone, including the UK fans here in this tournament. Of course he wasn’t allowed to enter because otherwise it wouldn’t have been a contest. There isn’t a man in this kingdom or on this continent that deserves to be across the ring from him and of course that means theme music.

Neville vs. Tommy End

Feeling out process to start as we hear about End being trained by Kassius Ohno, who has been re-signed in the last few weeks. End snapmares him down and sits on the mat for an awkward staredown. Neville is sent outside for more strike exchanges with End coming out on the bad side for a change. We hit a chinlock back inside (it would be odd to do it outside) as we hear a voiceover talking about….there being no updates on Bate’s condition.

The running kick to the side of End’s head gets two but Neville dives into a kick to his own head. End gets in even more strikes and sends him outside for a middle rope moonsault. Cole: “Who says Tommy End can’t fly?” Uh, no one so far Cole. A spinning kick to the head (following a good fake) sets up a German suplex for two on Neville. End loads up something on the top but gets hurricanranaed back down, setting up the Red Arrow for the pin at 8:39.

Rating: C. Not bad here and Neville winning was the only possible outcome given that he has a pay per view title shot coming up. End was fine and I’m sure NXT will do a better job of building him up than a special like this. It’s a perfectly fine match and I’m digging heel Neville more and more every single week.

Bate has a separated AC joint but he’s fighting anyway.

Here’s Finn Balor (rocking the heck out of a suit) for a chat before the main event. Balor puts the tournament over and the fans decide that they deserve it. It’s time for the finals.

Well, it will be after we look at how both guys got to the title match.

UK Title: Pete Dunne vs. Tyler Bate

William Regal is in the ring with the belt and Bate is coming in with a very bad shoulder. A lockup doesn’t go anywhere to start so Dunne slaps him in the face, earning an ANGRY 19 year old stare. Bate’s wristlock doesn’t go anywhere so Dunne goes to the first armbar. Bate comes back with a dropkick to stagger Dunne and there go the fans with their chanting all over again.

It’s off to an ankle twist to slow Dunne down as Cole starts reading Tweets. They head outside with Tyler flat out winning a slugout, which is rather surprising. Back in again and Pete finally kicks him in the arm, only to get sent into the post for his efforts. A quick exploder sends Dunne flying but the shoulder is too gone for the Tyler Driver. The airplane spin (with three different rotations) gives Bate two but he gets caught in a triangle choke.

That doesn’t work either so Bate knocks him to the floor for a Fosbury Flop of all things. A 450 lands in a stomp (not clear if that was intentional) but Dunne kicks out again. The Bitter End is only good for two and the fans are WAY into this, as they should be. It’s off to the double wristlock (Kimura) with Dunne wrapped around Tyler’s body but Bate muscles him up into a brainbuster. They slug it out again and Tyler kicks him in the head, setting up the Tyler Driver for the pin and the title at 15:12.

Rating: A-. That might be a bit high but I got WAY more into this than I was expecting to. Bate winning is a nice choice and having him beat Dunne was as good of a story as they were going to be able to pull off. This was a much better match than I was expecting and this is the kind of match the tournament was needing to make it memorable. Great main event and Bate looked like a star despite his age.

HHH, Finlay, Regal and Balor present Bate with the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. I liked this one a lot more than the previous night and it’s a good way to wrap the thing up. Given that the title isn’t likely to mean much in WWE, this was perfect for a two day event that really doesn’t mean much in the big picture. It leaves a door open for WWE in the UK and that’s really all they wanted so it’s hard to complain. I liked the matches well enough and some people made their names so it’s definitely a success.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 2003
Date: January 19, 2003
Location: Fleet Center, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 15,338
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

To say a lot has changed in the last year is a huge understatement. We have the Brand Split now and there are two world titles. That brings us to the part of this show that is most remembered: the world title matches. We have HHH defending the Raw Title in one of the worst matches ever, followed by Angle defending the Smackdown Title in one of the best matches ever. Also Brock Lesnar is here and has taken Smackdown by storm. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about what you would expect it to be: thirty men wanting to go to Wrestlemania.

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

The loser is out of the Rumble. Big Show has Heyman with him, which I’m sure makes him the best wrestler EVER right? Show won the title from Lesnar at Survivor Series after Heyman turned on Brock in one of those matches where they were backed into a corner out of their own stupidity. Show shoves him around to start so Brock snaps off a belly to belly suplex to fire up the crowd.

There’s a second suplex and Show is in trouble early. Lesnar loads up a third but Show grabs him by the throat and shoves him to the floor. Show throws Lesnar around the ring which looks awesome when you consider Brock is a massive dude. Lesnar avoids a charge in the corner and hits a release German suplex for two.

A big boot slows Brock down and a side slam looks to set up the chokeslam. Brock kind of rolls through it into a two count, followed by another belly to belly. Heyman gets dragged in but Show saves him from an F5. The chokeslam gets two as Heyman is losing his mind. Show gets rammed into Heyman and the F5 sends Brock to the Rumble.

Rating: C+. As intricate as modern wrestling has become, there’s something to be said about having two big guys get out there and throw each other around for five minutes. The power displays here made the fans gasp which is the right idea. At the end of the day, wrestling is a spectacle and having larger than life characters doing larger than life things is a surefire idea. This wasn’t so much good as it was fun, which is the right choice for an opener.

Jericho says he’ll win the Rumble.

Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. William Regal/Lance Storm

Regal and Storm are defending and Regal is STILL doing the brass knuckles thing. Storm and Ray get things going with Lance working on the arm, only to get powered down with ease. Bubba hits one of his LOUD chops in the corner and takes Storm down with a kind of chokebomb. In something I’ve never seen him do otherwise, Bubba hooks a standing Figure Four. Actually I can’t think of anyone who has ever used that.

Off to D-Von for a dropkick (what’s gotten into the Dudleys tonight?) and here’s Regal to get slammed down immediately. The champs double team D-Von down and we get into the standard tag team formula. Storm takes D-Von to the mat and it’s off to Regal for a front facelock. Lance comes back in with a cravate into a sleeper as this continues to meander along.

D-Von rolls Storm away and makes the tag to Bubba who speeds things up. The guy has emotion if nothing else. A big running splash in the corner crushes both champions and a side slam gets two on Storm. The American hits a German on the Canadian for two, followed by a spear to the Englishman. The Bubba Bomb gets two on Lance and Regal takes What’s Up. A double flapjack (stupid fans: “3D!”) gets two on Storm and here’s Chief of Staff Sean Morely. Regal finds the brass knuckles but walks into the 3D. D-Von hits Storm with the knuckles for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. This didn’t work for me. It felt like a Raw match that was trying to be a PPV match but never got near the hump they were trying to get over. The ending was stupid on top of that, as they had Regal beaten with the 3D, so why use the knuckles? Also it didn’t help that Bubba single handedly beat up the tag champions for about two minutes straight. Bad match.

Lawler on that match: “I’m as confused as a baby in a topless bar.” What is WITH the announcers and their similies/metaphors in this company?

Nathan Jones is coming. Oh geez.

We recap the Torrie vs. Dawn feud. This is one of those stories where you look at it in awe and wonder what they were thinking. Dawn Marie (a gorgeous Diva) fell in love with and married Torrie’s fifty something year old dad Al Wilson, then screwed him to death (literally) on their honeymoon. There was some lesbianism (as in kissing on screen and unfilmed other stuff) involved which was there to tease the audience and wasn’t bad at all. This is supposed to be a stepmother vs. stepdaughter match. Again, I have no idea what this was supposed to accomplish.

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

Dawn comes to the ring in a veil because she’s in mourning. Torrie gets blasted in the face to start before spearing Dawn down and things get sloppy. Marie tries an armbar because we need some wrestling in this I guess. Torrie gets beaten on for a bit until they collide and hit the mat. Dawn hits a springboard spinning clothesline for no cover, giving us the highlight of the match. Torrie hits a neckbreaker out of nowhere for the win.

Rating: D-. Anything with these two in those outfits can’t be considered a failure, but at the end of the day, there is no real defending this match in the slightest. It was HORRIBLE and the story was borderline insulting to my intelligence, but the girls looked good and I guess that was the whole point. Why not just have a regular match if you want to is beyond me, but it’s 2003 so what do you expect?

Stephanie seems to hit on some young guy in the back when Eric comes up to trade some weak trash talk. They’re both GM’s at this point. Stephanie has a bombshell for Smackdown which would wind up being Hogan. They argue over money or blood being more important and nothing goes anywhere. That young guy by the way? Randy Orton.

House show ads, including one for 7pm on a Monday night.

Sean O’Haire as the Devil’s Advocate promo. Sweet goodness this could have been HUGE.

Nathan Jones is STILL coming. Seriously did we need that twice in 30 minutes?

We recap HHH vs. Scott Steiner as I begin to take deep breaths. HHH was giving a promo about how awesome he was when Steiner interrupted and demanded a title shot. This led to a series of contests like pushups and bench presses which went nowhere. Note that Steiner hadn’t actually had a match in WWE up to this point. I wonder why.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Scott Steiner

HHH has red trunks on here for some reason. He mixed them up every now and then and rarely did the other colors work. Stick with basic black Game. Hebner brings them to the middle for instructions which is ultra rare stuff. Steiner wins an early slugout and pounds on the champion in the corner. A gorilla press sends HHH to the floor and Steiner pounds away with those weird looking overhand punches of his.

Steiner suplexes him back in for two and works on the back some more. An elbow to the face puts HHH down and there’s an appropriate Boston Crab. HHH powers out of it and hits the facebuster but Steiner no sells it. There’s a bear hug which is quickly broken but Steiner snaps off an overhead belly to belly (1) for two. Flair saves HHH from being put in the Steiner Recliner and Steiner charges into a boot in the corner to finally change the momentum.

We head to the floor again where Scott goes into the steps. The fans aren’t exactly thrilled with this so far but they’ve still got time to crank it up a bit. Flair chokes away with his jacket and HHH hits his second neckbreaker in about 30 seconds for two. Since we didn’t allido it properly the first time, Flair chokes away even more. A Pedigree attempt is countered into a slingshot into the buckle. Steiner looks like he’s going through labor.

An overhead suplex (2) puts HHH down and I kid you not: Steiner FALLS DOWN due to exhaustion. He’s clearly sucking wind and HHH didn’t touch him at all. Speaking of HHH, he counters a tombstone attempt into a….I think it was supposed to be the third neckbreaker in about 90 seconds but Steiner took it wrong, causing it to look like a cutter where he fell backwards instead of forwards. That gets two and the fans are starting to boo.

HHH is loudly calling spots to try to salvage this before he hits a vertical suplex. For no apparent reason he goes up and jumps into a belly to belly (3). Steiner can barely punch so he settles for some clotheslines. There’s an overhead belly to belly (4) and an overhead belly to belly (5) and an overhead belly to belly (6). The fans are openly booing Steiner now. His response? To hold HHH’s hair while HHH rams his own head into the buckles (seriously, Steiner clearly isn’t even pushing) and to hit a spinning belly to belly (7) for two and even more booing.

Steiner tries a butterfly powerbomb and literally falls backwards as he does it, causing HHH to land on Steiner’s knees. The fans groan at the sight of this so HHH goes up top to get superplexed down. He’s handing these spots to Steiner. THANKFULLY HHH tries to walk out but Steiner won’t have it, because WE HAVE TO KEEP GOING. Steiner blasts HHH with the belt to bust him open to try to get the fans to care but the match is long past salvageable at this point.

Back in and Steiner hits ANOTHER belly to belly (8), causing the fans to get MAD. They’re not annoyed, they’re not wanting a new champion, they want Steiner to get out of their ring now. HHH tries to get counted out but Steiner goes after him AGAIN. Back in and Steiner does the pushups to tick off the fans even more as Flair is BEGGING the referee to stop the match.

Now HHH throws the referee to the floor but HEBNER WON’T STOP IT. I mean he pulls his arm up to ring the bell but stops and says keep it going. Steiner hits the NINTH belly to belly suplex (9) of the match for two so HHH hits him low and grabs a fast rollup for two. HHH finally gives up and hits Steiner with the sledgehammer for the DQ.

Rating: H. As in HHH, who I feel sorry for here. Now everyone knows I’m no fan of the guy in 2003, but he was in a HORRIBLE situation here. HHH was trying to keep this a coherent match, but Steiner was beyond worthless here, causing the match to sink to levels far below what any other main event “talent” would be capable of. After about seven minutes (out of eighteen), Steiner stopped doing anything resembling trying to have a match and was just doing suplexes.

Remember that back stuff he did at the beginning? Completely forgotten. Did you see him try his finisher? Not even once. He somehow managed a belly to belly suplex every two minutes, despite being on defense for a good third of the match. This was absolutely horrible and quite possibly the worst world title match I can EVER remember, which is covering a lot of ground.

Post match, Steiner beats up HHH and Flair with the hammer, which gets SYMPATHY from the fans. HHH is getting SYMPATHY from a crowd. Think about that for a minute. And what’s worse: THEY HAD A REMATCH! Oh and there’s the Steiner Recliner to absolutely nothing positive from the crowd at all. Bischoff has to come get Steiner off HHH.

We cut to Cole and Tazz and even MICHAEL FREAKING COLE has a look on his face as if to say “WOW that was an abomination.”

We recap Benoit vs. Angle. Angle won the title from Big Show at Armageddon thanks to Lesnar before revealing that he hired Paul Heyman to be his new manager. Heyman said anyone could get a shot other than Brock Lesnar and brought in Team Angle (Haas and Benjamin) to protect Kurt during a knee injury. Benoit won a title shot over Big Show to set this up.

Smackdown World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

Team Angle is immediately ejected to make sure it’s one on one. Benoit grabs a headlock to start before trying the Sharpshooter to send Angle to the floor. Back in and Angle goes for the ankle but gets dropkicked away. Benoit grabs a kind up reverse Figure Four but Angle grabs the rope. This is all holds/counter holds so far. Benoit gets sent shoulder first into the post followed by an Angle suplex for two.

They chop it out with Benoit taking over and hitting a reverse clothesline to take Angle down. Angle drops Benoit across the top rope but gets guillotined down by the Canadian. They head to the apron with Benoit DDTing him down onto the side of the ring. The champion has a busted nose now. Back in and the Swan Dive misses but Benoit rolls out of the Angle Slam. There’s the Sharpshooter to Angle who eventually gets to a rope. A belly to back suplex gets two for Chris but Angle snaps off an overhead belly to belly (just one so far).

Back to the floor where Benoit gets dropped onto the barricade to further mess with his head. Off to a rear naked choke back inside so Kurt can overly loudly call some spots. Angle catches Benoit in another belly to belly followed by a belly to back for two. Back to the chinlock for a bit until a double clothesline puts both guys down. Benoit rolls some Germans but so does Angle. And people wonder why their necks were held together by tape.

Benoit gets the final German but Angle runs the ropes to hit the belly to belly off the top to put both guys down. That gets two but the Angle Slam is countered into the Crossface. Angle gets the rope, so Benoit shifts to an ankle lock. Angle reverses into one of his own and now Benoit is in trouble. Benoit goes to kick off but instead grabs another Crossface. Kurt counters into a rollup but Benoit put the Crossface on the other (right) arm this time. Angle stands up and hits the Angle Slam but can’t immediately cover.

Angle takes the straps down but another German attempt is countered into a rollup for two. They trade HARD Germans until Benoit hooks a release German to put both guys down. Before anyone asks, the difference between this and the previous match with the suplexes is how hard these are. Steiner looked like he was at a dance recital but here they look like they’re trying to kill one another. Not to mention there’s OTHER STUFF in between the suplexes.

Benoit hits the longest diving headbutt you’ll EVER see, but he can’t cover because of his head getting jarred like that. Angle counters the Crossface into a reverse powerbomb onto the buckle. The Angle Slam gets a VERY close two as the crowd is losing their minds. Back to the Crossface but Angle rolls through into the ankle lock. Benoit rolls over but can’t break the hold. He kicks Kurt off but Angle goes right back to the hold. Benoit keeps trying to kick him off but Angle hooks the grapevine and Benoit has to tap.

Rating: A+. That’s your match of the year right there people. Oh wait according to Meltzer there was some match in Japan that no one but him ever saw and that has to be better than this right? Anyway, these two DESTROYED each other with some absolutely amazing counters and awesome sequences out there while suplexing the tar out of each other. This both guy’s best match ever, and that’s saying A LOT.

Benoit gets a standing ovation, showing that he was ready to be world champion. Naturally that’s why he had to wait fifteen months to get the title, because the world was BEGGING for another Steiner match, the Nash feud with HHH, and the Goldberg run of doom. Ok Goldberg I can live with but the other two? Screw that.

Van Dam and Kane say they’ll knock each other out to win the Rumble.

Royal Rumble

The intervals are two minutes if you listen to Fink and 90 seconds if you listen to JR. There are fifteen Raw guys and fifteen Smackdown guys this year which would be the norm for a few years to come. Shawn gets #1 and Jericho gets #2, but it’s Christian playing the role of Jericho at the entrance, allowing Jericho to sneak in from behind and jump Shawn. Jericho hits Shawn low and starts the beat down before getting a chair to crack Shawn open.

Chris Nowitski is #3 and he’s perfectly fine with letting Jericho maul Shawn. Jericho easily dumps Shawn, setting up their classic at Wrestlemania. Nowitski isn’t in the ring yet. Rey Mysterio (still pretty new here) is #4 as things speed up a lot. A springboard dropkick and rana take Jericho down but Nowitski gets in as well….or not as he slid back out. Rey escapes a gorilla press and dropkicks Jericho into the ropes, only to get jumped by Nowitski.

Edge is #5 for a big pop. He would have been world champion by summer if he hadn’t hurt his neck. Jericho is sent into the post and Nowitski is knocked down, allowing the two good guys to pound away on each other while both miss finishers. A springboard rana by Rey is countered into a sitout powerbomb and Christian is #6. He hugs his brother but Edge spears him down out of common sense. Nowitski tries to dump Edge and Rey but gets caught by a “double” dropkick (read as Mysterio hit him but Edge completely missed and landed on Chris after he was already down).

The Bronco Buster hits Nowitski and Chavo is #7. He immediately takes Rey down but gets caught in a 619. Rey drops the dime on Chavo and hits a 619 on Christian. He tries a springboard rana on Christian but lands on Nowitski and takes him to the floor in the process. Jericho puts Mysterio out, leaving us with Jericho, Edge, Christian and Chavo at the moment. You can add Tajiri at #8 to that list.

Christian gets the tar kicked out of him and Chavo gets put in a spinning backbreaker. Not bad for the first twenty seconds for Tajiri. Bill DeMott is #9 and no one cares. At this point, he had been a Tough Enough trainer and his gimmick was that the rookies had ticked him off so much that he was basically a sociopath. I’ve heard of worse. Tommy Dreamer is #10 and he brings some toys with him.

There are too many people in the ring at the moment. Edge gets in some kendo stick shots on DeMott for an elimination. Christian and Jericho hit Dreamer with trashcan lids in a modified Conchairto for another elimination. Tajiri elbows both guys down but tries the Tarantula on Jericho and gets dumped as a result. B2, as in Bull Buchanan as Cena’s ex-lackey, is #11. Edge knocks out Chavo as the ring is thinning out nicely.

Jericho gets sent over the top but skins the cat and pulls out Edge and Christian in the process. Jericho is busted open but he’s left all alone in the ring. RVD is #12 and man alive do the fans love him. They slug it out for a bit with Van Dam hitting a slingshot to send Jericho to the apron but not out. Matt Hardy (who strongly dislikes mustard) is #13. The heels (as in those not named RVD) double team the good guy (as in those named RVD) but Jericho is too weak to do much and Matt kind of sucks so Van Dam takes them down.

There’s a Five Star to Jericho and Eddie is #14. He pounds away on Van Dam as well and hits a Frog Splash of his own, only to walk into a Twist of Fate from Matt. Jeff Hardy is #15 and Matt tries an alliance, only to get kicked in the gut. Jeff throws Matt to the apron but Matt’s MF’er Shannon Moore prevents the elimination. There’s the Twist of Fate to Matt but Shannon covers up Matt from the Swanton. Jeff just dives on both of them and Rosey of 3 Minute Warning is #16.

Absolutely nothing of note happens here so Test with Stacy is #17. He cleans house until John Cena is #18 with a rap for us. He manages to rhyme “Explain it to ya” with Wrestlemania so I’m impressed. He spends forever rapping until Van Dam throws him inside. The ring is way too full again. After Cena is in the ring for about eight seconds, Charlie Haas is #19. Van Dam and Jeff slug it out until Jeff goes up top like an IDIOT and gets shoved out. He would burn out and leave the company in about three months anyway.

Eddie walks the buckles and hits a rana on Jericho as Rikishi is #20, giving us Jericho, Van Dam, Matt, Eddie, Rosey, Test, Cena, Haas and Rikishi. Again that’s too many people. Rosey and Rikishi square off but nothing happens. Instead they team up and beat up Matt and Shannon because they can, until Rosey clotheslines the heck out of Rikishi. Jamal of 3 Minute Warning (you know him better as Umaga) is #21.

Rikishi superkicks Jamal down almost immediately and there’s a Stinkface for him. Kane is #22 and I think we have eleven people in there at the moment. He cleans as much house as you can clean with that many people in there before FINALLY putting someone out in the form of Rosey. Jericho gets thrown to the apron but hangs on. Shelton Benjamin is #23 and Team Angle starts taking over. Booker T is #24 and we DESPERATELY need someone to clear some guys out.

Booker immediately kicks Kane down and fires up a Spinarooni to a BIG pop. Eddie gets backdropped out and Booker pounds on Rikishi. A-Train (Albert/Tensai) is #25 and the hometown boy gets to beat up a lot of people in a hurry. Shawn Michaels runs in with a bandage on his head and goes after Jericho, causing Test to dump Jericho out. See, that way it’s legal.

Maven from Tough Enough (finally with actual trunks) is #26. He goes right for Kane like an idiot and gets punched in the face for his efforts. Goldust is #27 and he barely makes it 45 seconds before Haas and Benjamin put him out. Booker goes off on Haas in the corner but gets thrown out by Team Angle as well. He would get the world title shot at HHH as a consolation prize.

Big Dave Batista is #28 and you can hear the fans react to him. The first guy he hits? John Cena. It’s always cool to see the future in there like that. Test takes him down with a full nelson slam but Batista low bridges him for the elimination. Batista takes down Rikishi with a spinebuster before clotheslining him out. At least the ring is clearing out a bit. Brock Lesnar is #29 and is the odds on favorite to win this thing.

Brock immediately eliminates Team Angle by himself before F5ing Matt on top of them. A-Train hits a bicycle kick to take Batista down as Undertaker is #30 to a big ovation. The final grouping: Van Dam, Cena, Jamal, Kane, A-Train, Maven, Batista, Lesnar and Undertaker. Drop Maven and A-Train and that’s a pretty stacked field. To the shock of no one paying attention, Taker is returning here. There’s a 9 hour DVD of matches and moments where Undertaker returns easily.

Taker punches everyone and dumps Cena and Jamal with ease. Maven dropkicks Taker in the back and celebrates, earning himself a chokeslam. The elimination is academic. A-Train hits the chokebomb on Taker to finally slow him down as Kane chokeslams Lesnar. Kane and Van Dam, the Raw tag champions, start teaming up to beat people up but A-Train takes them both down. Van Dam saves Kane from a backbreaker and the champs double clothesline Albert out.

Kane tells Van Dam to let him pick Van Dam up and drop him on Batista, but Kane turns (not heel) on Van Dam to throw RVD out. We’re down to Lesnar, Undertaker, Kane and Batista which is awesome by today’s standards. Taker and Lesnar have a showdown but the other two guys break it up. Taker pounds away on Batista in a preview of the feud of the year in 2007.

A big spinebuster puts Taker down and Lesnar fights off the two Raw (Batista/Kane) guys. There’s an F5 for Kane and NOW we get Taker vs. Brock. They slug it out and after Taker says big boot, he hits a big boot to take Brock’s head off. The F5 is escaped but there’s a tombstone for Brock. A clothesline casually puts Batista out to get us down to three. Taker teases an alliance with Kane but dumps him as well. He has to knock away an invading Batista and Brock dumps Undertaker to go to Wrestlemania.

Rating: B-. Good but definitely not great Rumble here. You could see the next generation in the blocks but the problem is they were just that: the NEXT generation. Taker was the only possible winner here other than Brock and that’s a recipe for a bad Rumble. You need more than one candidate for the Rumble and as soon as Lesnar’s music hit, it was clear who was winning this.

Taker says go win the title but he wants the first shot. Brock says ok to end the show. Did we need that?

Overall Rating: C-. The problem with this show is that the excellent match on the card is brought down by the HORRENDOUS match just before it. The Rumble is good but it isn’t good enough to save an otherwise bad card. The show isn’t terrible, but it’s a sign of things to come for this year, especially with HHH on the Raw side. Not much to see here other than Benoit vs. Angle of course. HHH vs. Steiner is only worth seeing if you want to see a trainwreck.

Ratings Comparison

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: D

Redo: C+

Dudley Boys vs. William Regal/Lance Storm

Original: C

Redo: D

Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie

Original: DD

Redo: D-

Scott Steiner vs. HHH

Original: G-

Redo: H (As in HHH)

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Royal Rumble

Original: B

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: C-

I’m not sure what I was thinking the first time. The show just isn’t that good.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/22/royal-rumble-count-up-2003-best-match-ever/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

http://wrestlingrumors.net/wwe-legend-passes-away-mere-weeks-murder-trial/

You kind of had to know this one was coming.  I don’t know what you think about his legal issues of late but he was a huge star and there’s no other way around it.

205 Live
Date: January 10, 2017
Location: Raising Cane’s River Center Arena, Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Corey Graves, Austin Aries

With less than three weeks before the Royal Rumble, it’s pretty clear that we’re getting Neville vs. Rich Swann for the title at the pay per view. All we’re waiting on now is the official announcement and there’s a good chance that it’s going to be set up here. We’ve also got the ongoing issues of Cedric Alexander vs. Noam Dar over Alicia Fox. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap looks at Dar vs. Alexander with Cedric coming this close to blaming Fox for his losses and Dar being all creepy as he tries to steal her.

Opening sequence.

Cedric Alexander vs. Noam Dar

It’s amazing how much good a story can help out a match like this. Well that and Alicia Fox being on camera too. Before the match, Dar says the kiss from Alicia last night didn’t deter him and he’ll have her soon enough. Feeling out process to start with both guys being a bit tentative until Cedric just punches him in the jaw.

Noam isn’t sure what to do so they head outside with Cedric firing off some chops. An elbow to the face makes Alicia very happy but Dar is smart enough to kick Alexander in the chest while he tries a Tajiri handspring. Dar works on the arm due to all the strikes he’s had to deal with so far. A cross arm choke keeps Cedric in trouble before Noam splashes the arm.

We hit another armbar for a bit until a hard elbow drops Dar. Cedric tries to go up but springboards into a Fujiwara armbar (on the wrong arm but nice try). The arm is crushed under the steps until Alicia gets in Dar’s way, allowing Cedric to hit one heck of a baseball slide. Now the springboard clothesline works a bit better and Cedric kicks him in the face for good measure. Alexander goes up top for a moonsault but Fox pulls Dar out of the way. As Alicia looks very confused, Dar knees Cedric in the face for the pin at 12:35.

Rating: B-. Well that was odd but in a good way. They’ve gotten me to the point where I want to see what’s going to happen with the story and I really didn’t expect that. Fox could be awesome as the woman who switches sides by turning on Alexander but I’m not sure if that’s where they’re going. That makes the story just a bit better, which is a surprising touch.

Fox slaps Dar and leaves with Cedric as she still looks confused.

Akira Tozawa is coming soon. That’s a good thing.

Brian Kendrick vs. Sean Maluta

Kendrick is annoyed at Tajiri for spraying the mist last week and promises to take it out on Maluta. Sean actually grabs some rollups for two and a basement dropkick puts Kendrick on the floor to set up a flip dive. Back in and Maluta is sent into the buckle so Kendrick can grab a cobra clutch. That doesn’t last long and Maluta gets in a reverse DDT but misses Rolling Thunder. A gordbuster and Shining Wizard give Maluta two more but his frog splash (because it’s always a frog splash, 450 or shooting star) hits knees. The Captain’s Hook makes Maluta tap at 4:43.

Rating: C+. Maluta continues to be someone with a lot of potential which hopefully he’ll get to build on someday. The idea of Kendrick being all cocky and almost losing because of it was the right call. Then again the idea of Kendrick in general tends to completely deflate me as he’s just not that interesting but such is life in WWE.

Alexander yells at Fox and breaks up with her. Fox gets all whiny and freaks out because no one breaks up with her. This is some combination of bad and amazing but I’m not sure which is better.

Here’s Jack Gallagher for his parley with Ariya Daivari. Gallagher lays down his umbrella (named William) and offers Daivari some tea or biscuits but Daivari wants to get to the point. Jack thinks his honor has been besmirched and asks for negotiations to begin. Daivari thinks Gallagher wants to surrender because people like Jack are always going to lose. Gallagher: “Pardon?”

Apparently Gallagher is fine with these negotiations not being peaceful so they agree to an I Forfeit match to wrap up their feud once and for all. Daivari signs but throws William, meaning the jacket comes off. Gallagher: “I hope the Queen isn’t watching.” The brawl is on until the referees come out to break it up.

Rich Swann vs. Tony Nese

Non-title. They start fast for a change with Swann flipping over Nese and dropkicking him out to the floor. Nese shows some intelligence by dropping Swann ribs first across the barricade to take over. A bodyscissors sets up a gutbuster for two and Nese squeezes the ribs again. Rich gets up and pops him in the face a few times before a hurricanrana gets two. Nese sticks to the game plan though with a legsweep and stomp to the ribs. Swann grabs a tiger bomb for two and the spinning kick to the head ends Nese at 7:32.

Rating: C. Swann needed a clean win like this and that’s a good sign going into the title match against Neville, which is all but guaranteed at this point. Nese is a good choice for a dragon to be slayed and that’s what we got here. It’s still not a good sign for his title reign when Neville is this hot as a heel but it’s been nice while it lasted.

Post match Neville comes out to challenge Swann, who insults Neville’s ears in response. Neville says he’s not getting in the ring with Swann unless it’s a Cruiserweight Title shot. Swann is fine with that and says name the time and place. That would be the Royal Rumble so Swann says it’s on to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The important thing about this show is the idea of actually setting something up for the future. It’s not just a bunch of random matches anymore as they’re advancing stories and making things a little more interesting than the old six man tags that dominated the early episodes. I’m not dreading the show anymore and I’m starting to look forward to seeing where some of this stuff goes, which is a very positive sign.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

WWE UK Tournament
Date: January 14, 2017
Location: Empress Ballroom, Blackpool, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, Nigel McGuinness

This is an interesting one as the WWE is trying to break into the British market by holding a sixteen man tournament over the course of two days. The winner will be crowned the first ever WWE UK Champion with the possibility of further tournaments taking place in Asia and Mexico based on the success here. Let’s get to it.

Let’s get this out of the way: I don’t know most of these people and I’m basically going off what WWE tells me about them. I think I prefer it that way too.

All matches today will be first round matches so I won’t bother listing them as such.

We look at various WWE moments in the UK over the years, including Summerslam 1992 and Takeover: London.

HHH, sporting the biggest beard I’ve ever seen on him, comes to the stage to welcome us to the show. He talks about building empires and asks if we’re ready.

The arena looks very cool and actually feels grand for a change.

We look at the brackets.

Video on Trent Seven, complete with clips Progress Wrestling.

Video on H.C. Dyer, who seems to be a boxer/striker.

All first round matches have a fifteen minute time limit.

Trent Seven vs. H.C. Dyer

Trent likes his mustache and is a current Progress Wrestling Tag Team Champion (as mentioned by Cole which is very strange to hear). Dyer dropkicks him down and they head to the floor for some chops. Back in and Seven does a running chop of all things before a suplex gets two (with a feel of the mustache at the same time).

Dyer gets in a spinebuster for two of his own and that big right hand gets another delayed near fall. Something like a Blue Thunder Bomb gets two more as Nigel is taking issue with Dyer’s weak covers. So he’s the British Gorilla Monsoon. Back up and a spinning backfist sets up the Seven Star Lariat (Rainmaker) to put Dyer away at 7:28.

Rating: C. This was fine and you can tell they want to give Seven quite the push. Dyer has a good look but you could tell he was in trouble when the one move he talked about only got a near fall. The wrestling was fine, albeit a bit generic, which is going to be the case in a lot of these matches because there’s no story here other than the tournament.

Video on Danny Burch, who wrestled on NXT as a pretty tough jobber for a few years.

Video on Jordan Devlin, who is Finn Balor’s protege.

Balor is in the front row.

Danny Burch vs. Jordan Devlin

They trade arm holds to start with Burch pulling him out of the air by the leg (that’s a new one) but not following up on it. Nigel does not approve and Devlin takes over, meaning we might need to listen to Nigel some more. Burch gets pulled off the middle rope for two and it’s off to the chinlock. A pull of the back of the head puts Burch down as Devlin is certainly the heel here.

Devlin gets annoyed at the fans and rakes the eyes to keep Danny in check. Danny comes back with a middle rope dropkick but actually loses a slugout. One heck of a clothesline drops Jordan for two and we hit the Crossface to give Devlin a very scared look. A spinning head kick (think Trouble in Paradise) knocks Burch silly and cuts his head open. The referee counts to three at 8:48, even though Burch’s shoulder was up, which seems like a way to stop the match for the cut.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t feeling this one as much and the somewhat botched ending didn’t do it any favors. Devlin didn’t feel like the most natural heel in the world and it was kind of hard to care about him. Burch felt more natural but that cut on the head looked rather nasty at the same time.

Devlin knocks him down again after the match and insists that was a clean win.

Video on Saxton Huxley, who is very intelligent.

Video on Sam Gradwell, who grew up with an alcoholic mom and all he cares about is what happens in the ring.

Saxton Huxley vs. Sam Gradwell

Technical sequence to start with Gradwell working on an armbar followed by a dropkick for two. A butterfly backbreaker puts Sam down as the fans are now singing about Huxley. Some shots to the face drop Huxley and a good looking top rope headbutt sends Gradwell on at 6:03.

Rating: C-. How in the world was that a six minute match? It felt like they had barely been out there for a minute and a half but the match was fine enough. Gradwell got my attention and that’s a good sign going forward. Good match here, though the crowd mostly spent the match mentioning how much Huxley looks like Jesus.

Dave Taylor is at ringside.

Video on Pete Dunne, who is known as the Bruiserweight. He describes himself as unique and enjoys hurting people.

Video on Roy Johnson, who is the most wavy guy in wrestling. If you don’t know what that is, we’re not talking about it. He’s a power guy.

Pete Dunne vs. Roy Johnson

Disclaimer: Johnson used to post on the same forums I run so I’m very biased in this one. Dunne takes him down and cranks on the fingers but a shoulder has no effect. Johnson dances at him and gets slapped in the face, only to get muscled up into a suplex. They head outside with Pete crushing the hand against the steps.

Back in and Dunne bends the arm back as he’s picking Johnson apart here. Dunne even takes off the glove and cranks on the hand some more. A flapjack and middle rope shoulder put Dunne down though and a Samoa drop gets two. Roy jumps into a stiff right hand for two followed by an enziguri for the same. Johnson gets in a Big Ending for two more but gets caught in a pumphandle flatliner to give Dunne the pin at 7:45.

Rating: B-. Good match here with Johnson surviving longer than it seemed he would have. It’s clear that Dunne is going to be a big deal in this tournament and the announcers made it clear that Johnson was in over his head here. Still though, solid match and Johnson did better than I was expecting.

Dunne won’t shake hands post match.

Video on Wolfgang, who has always wanted to be here. He’s the lone Scottish representative here.

Video on Tyson T-Bone who wants to fight and honor his gypsy heritage.

T-Bone talks about traveling the world earning a living with his fans and all that matters is who is up next.

Wolfgang vs. Tyson T-Bone

Tyson headbutts him during the introductions and the fight is on early. Wolfgang gets in a few shots of his own but a suplex and hard whip into the corner give Tyson a near fall. Tyson’s suplex is reversed into one from Wolfgang, followed by Wasteland. A middle rope moonsault gives Wolfgang two but Tyson posts him for an eight count on the floor. Back in and Wolfgang breaks up a superplex, setting up a Swanton Bomb for the pin at 6:18.

Rating: C-. Not great stuff here but the ending was quite the surprise. They had built Tyson up as a big star and then he just lost clean in the end. T-Bone wasn’t the most impressive guy in the world but he looked a bit more impressive than Wolfgang, who didn’t do much for me here. This wasn’t terrible but I’ve seen worse.

Wolfgang says the title is coming home with the big bad wolf.

Video on Joseph Conners, who is missing part of his ear due to a fight.

Video on James Drake who has wrestled people from all over the world and gotten paid to win. People will be talking about him when he wins.

Joseph Conners vs. James Drake

They lock up to start and actually go to the mat without breaking the hold. Drake goes after the missing ear before blasting Joseph with a clothesline. A double stomp out of the corner stops Drake as Cole keeps changing from Conners to Connor. Back in and Conners changes gears a bit by going after Drake’s ear. Not that it’s injured in the first place or anything but it seems to be working. After a chinlock goes nowhere, Drake unloads on him in the corner and gets two off an enziguri. Conners drives him into the corner and grabs a lifting delayed flatliner (Don’t Look Down) for the pin at 7:19.

Rating: C+. This was a bit weird as the ear thing kept going but at least the match was physical and ended with a bit of a surprise. It’s one of the better matches of the tournament so far and the announcers thought it would be the best. I’ve seen Conners before and I’ve liked what I’ve seen so far.

Video on Mark Andrews, who wants to prove Wales proud. You might know him as Mandrews in TNA.

Video on Dan Moloney, who is from a very dark place and shouldn’t say what he’s seen.

Mandrews has been an underdog his whole life but he’s willing to fight.

Dan Moloney vs. Mark Andrews

Moloney is only 19. Andrews starts early with the flips and scores with a basement dropkick into an armbar. Dan throws him into the air for a crash and near fall but Andrews stomps on the ribs to take over again. The fans seem to like Andrews who gets two off a standing moonsault. Dan tries something like an F5 but seems to slip up, only to hit a sitout F5 on the second attempt. A running kick to the face gets two but Andrews grabs a Stunner to put Dan down. The shooting star press advances Moloney at 5:45.

Rating: C-. I’ve never gotten the appeal of Andrews as there are just people better at the exact same style. Then again that might have been due to him being in TNA under the name of Mandrews, which has never sounded anything but dumb. He was a lot better here though and the high flying was a nice change of pace.

Video on Tucker, who is a technical wrestler.

Video on Tyler Bate, who is 19 and only cares about the 1-2-3.

Tucker vs. Tyler Bate

Feeling out process to start with both guys missing (not botching) a few moves early on. Bate offers a test of strength but just suckers Tucker in for a left hand to the jaw. Tucker comes right back with a middle rope elbow to the face but Bate grabs a headlock, picks up his own foot and puts it onto Tucker’s head. It’s off to a cravate for a good while until Tucker kicks him in the head, giving us an amusing look on Bate’s face.

Bate comes right back with a middle rope uppercut and another one stops Tucker’s suicide dive. A hurricanrana off the steps puts Bate down but we go very old school with an airplane spin (in both directions) on Tucker. The Super Duper Kick knocks Bate silly but also out to the floor, meaning it’s only good for two. Back up and a rolling kick to Tucker’s head sets up the Tyler Driver 97 to put Tucker away at 10:35.

Rating: B+. Match of the night here with Bate looking WAY better than a nineteen year old should. Tucker looked fine here as well and they had the best match so far, which isn’t what I was expecting here. Cole thinks Bate is the favorite for the tournament but that might be a bit of a stretch, which is Cole’s strong suit. At least this was entertaining though.

Here are the quarterfinal brackets:

Tyler Bate

Jordan Devlin

Trent Seven

Wolfgang

Mark Andrews

Joseph Conners

Pete Dunne

Sam Gradwell

Cole gives us a highlight package on the night.

Nigel and William Regal bring out the wrestlers who advanced to the second round. Dunne punches Gradwell in the face and gets yelled at to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I liked this more than I was expecting to as I’m really not the target audience for something like this. The wrestling was mostly solid with nothing really bad and some names stood out above some others. It’s not a great show but I have enough fun with it and that’s all it needed to be. I’m looking forward to day two and I didn’t expect to be so we’ll call this a success.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: August 15, 2002
Location: Key Arena, Seattle, Washington
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

With ten days to go before Summerslam, the Raw half of the card is mostly filled in. That leaves a lot of Smackdown to go and that could mean some interesting things going on. Now of course the important thing tonight is Brock Lesnar vs. Rikishi because that’s the kind of match that needs to be advertised. Let’s get to it.

Here are Paul Heyman and Lesnar for a chat after destroying Hulk Hogan last week. You can imagine how happy Heyman is to talk about Hogan being destroyed last week and seemingly ending his career (again). Heyman gets to narrate video of last week and it’s as entertaining as you would expect it to be (during the F5: “When it comes crashing down and it hurts inside.”).

Lesnar rips up a Hogan shirt as Heyman talks about how the people’s blood will be on Lesnar’s hands at Summerslam. Brock promises to end Rock’s title reign just like he ended Hogan’s career. Rikishi comes out to interrupt and I continue to fail to see the appeal of this match. The fat man threatens to back it up and then make Brock kiss it before clearing the ring. Lesnar saves Heyman from a Stinkface.

Hurricane/Shannon Moore/Hardcore Holly vs. Billy and Chuck/Rico

Holly and Rico are having issues over Hardcore shaving off part of Rico’s sideburns. Billy and Hardcore start fast with Holly hitting that dropkick. It’s off to Shannon vs. Rico for the spinning kicks to put Moore down. A backslide to Rico sets up Hurricane’s top rope legdrop for a nice spot. Chuck comes in and gets hurricanranaed to set up a Shining Wizard for two as the cruiserweights are moving very well so far.

Those loud and heavy right hands from Chuck stagger Hurricane though as the fans tell Rico that he sucks. A neckbreaker gets Hurricane out of trouble and a double falling tag brings in Shannon and Chuck as things speed up again. Something like a Whisper in the Wind connects as everything breaks down. Billy gets in the One and Only on Shannon to give Chuck the pin after a quick referee distraction.

Rating: C+. I liked this a lot more than I expected as it was quite the snappy little six man tag. Hurricane and Shannon looked good out there and Holly was just kind of there. Billy and Chuck and Rico are fine for a three man team when necessary and it’s nice to see Rico getting in the ring instead of just being on the floor.

The post match beatdown is on until Matt Hardy arrives as the newest name to jump over. No heel beatdown ensues so I guess we’re just forgetting Raw.

Stephanie, who is supposed to be a face here, does the full on heel shouting rant to Dawn Marie over the contracts from last week. Of course Stephanie was able to use her brilliance by signing Matt Hardy and buying commercial time on Raw. Dawn needs to dress more professionally or she’ll be fired. I really have no idea how I’m supposed to think Stephanie is interesting or care about her but that’s the way things work around here whether we like it or not.

Matt talks to the losers of the six man tag and says Smackdown is ready for Matt Hardy Version I. Holly doesn’t look impressed.

Chris Benoit comes in to see Stephanie and we get a great example of Stephanie’s really weird way of speaking as she keeps saying Intercontinental Title and that people will tap. Tonight it’s Benoit vs. Rock as a way to send a message to Van Dam. Again: Stephanie does not act like a face in the slightest but there’s no reason for her to be a heel either. She just changes back and forth, thereby making it really hard to figure out how to react to her. I get the idea of shades of gray but when you’re used to wrestling working one way and one person does it differently, it’s going to be difficult to understand.

Kurt Angle thinks Rey Mysterio is a twelve year old who put on a mask and cheated to beat him. Mysterio comes in (Angle: “Sorry. You must be this tall to talk to Kurt Angle. Try again next year.”) and a match is made for Summerslam. Angle: “You want me at Summerslam? La freaking cucaracha. You’re on man.” Mark Henry comes up and gets a match with Angle tonight. Kurt was HILARIOUS here.

Kurt Angle vs. Mark Henry

Henry shoulders him down and smiles to start so Kurt tries right hands to even less avail. They head outside for a bit with Henry missing a charge and coming up with a bad ankle. It’s a good thing Angle has the luck of Ric Flair when it comes to opponents tweaking a body part during a match. Kurt starts going after the ankle as Cole brags about having multiple Olympians on the roster. The ankle gets attacked even more and Kurt grabs a leglock. The ankle lock is broken up and Henry does a gorilla press drop because his ankle is just fine. A chop block into another ankle lock makes Henry tap.

Rating: D. Egads Henry was worthless around this point. Kurt was trying but when Henry’s selling was this bad there’s only so much he can do. I’m not sure what you can ask for out of this other than Henry not being able to do his normal stuff but that gorilla press was completely normal. He’s been around over six years at this point and there’s no excuse for something like this.

Mysterio makes the save with a hurricanrana and Angle gets busted open somewhere in there.

Eric Bischoff does a Subway commercial from the Raw set to get back at Stephanie for buying commercial time on Monday. You know, which Raw would have profited from. WHY SHOULD I CARE ABOUT THIS STUFF???

Rikishi vs. Brock Lesnar

Rikishi is thrown around to start but he stands still off a shoulder. Brock starts in on the arm before grabbing a bearhug though Tazz thinks Rikishi can hang on, unlike Hogan. For the life of me I do not get this love for Rikishi, who fights out of the bearhug and gets in the Samoan drop. Heyman comes in to save Brock from the Stinkface (which the #1 contender shouldn’t need saving from) and takes one himself. The F5 wraps this up shortly thereafter.

Rating: D-. Sweet goodness enough with the big guys who can’t do much other than big guy offense. Rikishi is suddenly a veteran who we’re supposed to respect despite being the same character who was a glorified comedy guy. He’s still huge and does comedy spots but now we’re supposed to be impressed that Lesnar beat him? It doesn’t work that way.

We run down the Summerslam card.

Funaki interviews Nidia, who invites him to touch her chest. Seriously. An arguing D-Von and Batista come in with the deacon sending D-Von through a door, likely ending the team for good.

Torrie Wilson vs. Nidia

Torrie does her bad looking clotheslines, which are even more impressive since very little Torrie does can be classified as bad looking. Cole actually brags about the crowd being louder than Raw’s crowd as Nidia knees her in the ribs for two. Jamie Noble gets slapped so he grabs Torrie’s ankle, earning himself a cheap shot from Kidman. Torrie gets back in and Jamie adds in a clothesline, giving Nidia the cheap pin.

Kane’s music hits and, just like Monday, nothing happens.

Eddie is on the phone with grandma, who will be sure the whole family is watching tonight. Various cousins are listed off. Eddie isn’t cool with Edge and wants to beat that bad smile off his face.

Chavo Guerrero/Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio/Edge

Edge and Chavo start with the Guerrero taking a flapjack (always love that move) as Cole refers to Eddie as the Raw defector. Chavo takes it to the floor and sends Edge into the barricade so Eddie can start in on the ribs. They botch what looked to be a backdrop and it’s off to Rey as things speed way up.

One heck of a powerbomb crushes Rey and Chavo adds a splash to the back for two. Mysterio gets in a spinwheel kick to Chavo’s face and for some reason the referee stops to check on both guys. It’s not like the shot was that hard. Everything breaks down and Eddie gives Edge a brainbuster, only to have Rey break up the frog splash. The 619 connects but Angle pulls Rey off the apron for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was WAY too short (but at least we had Nidia talking about how hot she was) but it helped set up Mysterio vs. Angle, which is one of the best things that can happen at the moment. You can see the talent starting to build up around the midcard and a lot of that is due to a main eventer like Angle being involved. With the younger guys getting wins over him, they seem like bigger deals as a result.

Video on the Australia tour with 56,734 people at the Melbourne show.

The Rock and Marc Lloyd discuss squealing and bending over. Lloyd actually bends over and Rock freaks out as only he can. Rock: “SWEET CREAM ON AN ICE CREAM SAMMICH GET UP!” Marc leaves and Rock is ready for Benoit tonight and is going to send Brock a message tonight.

The Rock vs. Chris Benoit

Non-title. During Rock’s entrance, a WATCH TRIPLE H VS. ROCK ON RAW banner goes through the crowd. Cole wants to know what it would mean if Benoit can make Rock tap twice in a row. Rock starts in on the arm and clotheslines him down as this is high energy to start.

Benoit takes him into the corner for some chops, only to get caught in the belly to belly for two. The rolling German suplexes get two on Rock and a DDT drops him again. Benoit goes up (which Cole calls rare despite him doing it in almost every match) and hits the Swan Dive for two.

Rock’s Sharpshooter (which Benoit would laugh at) sends Benoit straight to the ropes so it’s the spinebuster instead. Cue Lesnar for the staredown though, allowing Benoit to get in a cheap shot. The fans want Hogan but have to settle for a Crossface from Benoit. That means we tease the tap out finish but this time Rock makes the rope. Back up and a quick Rock Bottom ends Benoit.

Rating: B. Were you expecting anything else here? I really liked that tease of the tap out again as it was set up in their previous match, which made you think it could happen. Benoit losing here is fine as it’s to a bigger name so it’s not like he falls that far. Rock vs. Lesnar has been built up very well as it’s hard to imagine either of them actually losing. Good main event here.

Lesnar and Rock stare each other down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Not the best show in the world here but the good stuff was quite good. The problem though is the bad stuff was really bad, making the show really unbalanced. The Stephanie stuff was HORRIBLE though as she just won’t shut up with will of the RAW IS EVIL when absolutely no one cares. It’s one of the least interesting stories I can ever remember and for some reason they’re doing it again in the modern Brand Split. Stephanie must really love that story and if that’s the case, you know it’s what we’re going to get.

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