Monday Night Raw
Date: May 20, 2002
Location: Pyramid, Memphis, Tennessee
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the first night of the Undertaker regime and that means we’re getting closer to King of the Ring. In addition to that, I’m sure there’s a good chance that we’re going to get more of Austin vs. the NWO, which is now adding names for Austin to beat up from week to week. As long as it’s not Austin vs. Big Show, I think we’re good. Let’s get to it.

We open with a rest in peace video for the British Bulldog. There’s a lot more effort here than in most of these, though the fact that he was only 39 makes it even harder to accept. That’s just too young for anyone.

Opening sequence.

Rob Van Dam comes to the ring because the scripts calls for him to be there, only to have Undertaker come out and beat the tar out of him. A whip into the steps busts open Van Dam’s eye and Undertaker hits him with the steps for good measure. Undertaker is mad that he didn’t get to open the show and had to beat up Van Dam for trying to steal his spotlight. When he feels like he has something to say, he’s going to come down here and say it no matter who is in the ring.

The number one rule around here is respect the Undertaker and you can ask Hulk Hogan what happens when you disobey. Last night, he killed Hulkamania and it’s over for good. In fact, Hogan is going to announce his retirement on Smackdown. As Undertaker keeps talking, the referees are STILL checking on Van Dam, which means we’re just waiting on him to get up and do something else. We keep hearing about respect as Van Dam crawls into the ring. Undertaker thinks Van Dam is thick between the ears and the fight is on with Rob kicking him down and hitting a Five Star.

Undertaker demands a match with Van Dam tonight so Ric Flair makes it a title match. Makes sense given their history but doesn’t make a ton of sense given Flair as a smart heel who would want to stay on Undertaker’s good side.

Hardy Boyz vs. NWO

X-Pac and Big Show here. Jeff starts with a headscissors on X-Pac as the announcers don’t have much to say about the Hardys getting destroyed by Lesnar last night. Matt comes in with a Side Effect but Show realizes that he’s Big and runs Matt over from the apron. Show gets in his big beatdown segment but it’s back to X-Pac who misses a charge in the corner. I can’t picture this pair of screwups being the best idea for a team.

The brothers get smart and try to double team X-Pac, only to get thrown around by Show. Booker T. kicks Big Show by mistake because this team is rapidly turning into a big joke that just won’t go away. With things going horribly for the NWO, here’s Goldust as Elvis for an accidental distraction, allowing Jeff to grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D+. This is where the NWO belongs: as a tag team who can probably beat some lower level pairings but aren’t quite good enough to go after the Tag Team Titles, mainly because they don’t exist on Raw at this point. It’s amazing what happens when you get rid of Hall and let X-Pac do most of the wrestling. The matches aren’t good but they’re a lot less horrible.

Paul Heyman talks to Trish about her lingerie and sex is suggested. Denied, but it’s suggested.

The NWO argues over who should be the leader. Maybe Flair should have joined. Somehow this gets us to Goldust/Booker T. vs. the Hardys later tonight. Did anyone ask Matt and Jeff if they’re cool with this?

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jacqueline

Trish is defending. Jackie slaps her in the chest to start, giving Lawler his favorite spot in years. A headlock doesn’t get Jackie anywhere but an armdrag into an armbar works a bit better. Trish fights up with forearms and a suplex for two. Lawler: “I’d like to be her thigh master.” Jackie misses a charge in the corner and the bulldog retains the title. This was actually pretty good while it lasted but the time hurt it, as is always the case.

Heyman and Lesnar come out and threaten Trish with violence if she doesn’t go out with Paul. Cue Bubba Ray Dudley for the save to give Brock his first singles feud.

Video on last night’s big matches. Isn’t that how you should open the show?

Tommy Dreamer is still gross and one person continues to laugh. This time he eats hair as he gets it cut and washes it down with something called Barbicide, which is apparently a disinfectant. What do you even say to something like this?

Rob Van Dam isn’t going to listen to the doctor who tells him not to wrestle tonight.

GET THE F OUT!

European Title: William Regal vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Bubba is challenging and starts fast with a slam and those big elbows. You really can see the Dusty Rhodes influence in there and that’s not the worst thing in the world. Molly Holly, in Regal’s corner here, trips Bubba to let Regal take over but the guys slam heads for a double knockdown. The Flip Flop and Fly have Regal in trouble and it’s table time for no logical reason. Cue Lesnar for the DQ.

After an F5, Molly slips Regal the knuckles to knock Bubba out again.

Here are Flair and Arn Anderson for the 10pm chat. Flair admits that he’s made some mistakes over the years but there are too few to mention. See, last night, Austin pinned the illegal man so it’s time for a new plan. This brings out Austin to hear said plan face to face. Or face to heels actually. Anderson threatens him with violence and Austin doesn’t seem impressed. Anyway, Flair says he owns Austin and is going to take him out of the ring. Stunning and beer drinking ensues.

Hardy Boyz vs. Goldust/Booker T.

Raven of all people comes out for commentary and rips on Lawler for his lame job calling matches. Lawler won’t be too interested in this match because Lita and her puppies aren’t here. JR asks about Goldust and Booker’s relationship. Raven: “You don’t know much about relationships Lawler. That’s why your wife left you.” Some forearms put Matt down to start and Booker dances around a bit before tagging Goldust in. The Side Effect puts Goldust down but here’s the NWO to kick Goldust in the back of the head. Matt grabs a small package for the pin.

Austin and Debra are at a karaoke bar. I don’t see this being funny.

Back in the ring, Goldust is still down with the NWO around him. Booker isn’t cool with X-Pac and Big Show interfering because it cost him a match. They yell at each other over their actions last night with Booker saying X-Pac can’t get laid. Show points out that they never invited Booker to join the team, which makes you wonder WHY HE’S STILL THERE. Can the boss just assign people to stables? Anyway Kevin Nash comes out to take charge of the group and rips into them like a bunch of losers. Booker is officially on the team and seems very happy about it because Nash is just so darn inspirational.

Eddie Guerrero is at the bar as well and sends Debra a teddy bear. Does the bar just happen to sell teddy bears? Austin isn’t pleased.

After the announcers plug the upcoming Australia show, Raven asks if Lawler knows anything about wrestling anymore. Raven gets on a regular mic and yells at Lawler for only talking about puppies. A challenge is issued for later tonight.

Debra asks Austin to sing but Eddie takes the mic and sings…..I have no idea actually. It’s booed off the stage as expected.

Raven vs. Jerry Lawler

Raven starts with some basic stuff and Lawler gets a bit more height than I was expecting off a backdrop. They head outside so Raven can yell at JR but Lawler gets all fired up and takes the strap down. A bunch of right hands and rams into the buckle have the crowd all entertained and knock Raven loopy. Raven bails before the fist drop can hit.

Rating: D-. They can’t even have Raven do a job for Lawler in Memphis? I’m fine with Jerry doing this once or twice a year to give the fans a quick thrill because nothing the company is going to put out there is going to fire them up like a quick Lawler match. That being said, I really don’t get the idea of having Raven walking out instead of just taking the pin. Then again, the insults he got in on Lawler were pure gold and more than make up for the loss.

Austin sings Margaritaville but Eddie doesn’t like it. Since this is 2002 Austin, he turns his back on Eddie and gets a beer bottle broken over his head. Aside from this taking WAY too long to finally get to the point, the idea of Austin vs. Guerrero is a huge improvement over the NWO nonsense. It’s going to suck for the Intercontinental Title but at least they’re elevating someone.

Undisputed Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Undertaker

Van Dam is challenging and his eye probably isn’t healed up yet. A big dive takes Undertaker out before the bell, which probably isn’t the best idea in the world. Undertaker crotches himself with a missed big boot and some kicks get some two counts. A clothesline puts Undertaker on the floor and Van Dam is right back out there with some kicks to the back. Undertaker gets back inside but can’t hit the Last Ride.

Instead he ribs off a buckle pad but opts to elbow Rob in the face instead. The chokeslam is broken up and Undertaker goes into the exposed buckle. Rolling Thunder connects for the pin with Undertaker’s foot on the ropes and Memphis is way too smart for that. Cue Flair to say the foot was on the ropes so the match is continuing. The Last Ride retains the title.

Rating: C. Undertaker gave Rob a lot here and it was a lot more entertaining than I was expecting. Van Dam moving higher up on the card is a good thing and it’s always cool to see someone younger in the main event scene. I remember watching this live but I had missed the foot being on the rope. It’s amazing how much fun you can have when you get surprised by something like this and buy that they did something like that.

Flair is pleased to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. There’s a lot of bad stuff on here and it’s certainly not a good show but WHAT AN IMPROVEMENT this was over recent weeks. Guerrero and Van Dam are moving up the card, the NWO has an actual leader (though they lost both of their matches), Undertaker, though still bad, is a huge upgrade over Hogan as champion and Brock vs. Bubba could give us some good fights.

That being said, there’s a lot of bad around here too. There was way too much time spent on the bar segments and Undertaker’s opening segment, which could have been done in half the time. The short matches still don’t do the show any favors and it’s not a good sign that the Hardys have to work twice. They have so many people running around on the show with nothing to do but we need to see Matt and Jeff twice in an hour and a half? It’s still not a good show but this was miles ahead of everything they’ve been doing in the last month.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: October 18, 2016
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga, Mauro Ranallo

This is an interesting time for Smackdown as they don’t really have anything to do for the next month until Survivor Series. That means some upgraded TV shows, including tonight as James Ellsworth (The Chin Who Got The Pin) challenges AJ Styles for the Smackdown World Title. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s Ellsworth vs. Styles match to set up the title rematch.

Dean Ambrose gives Ellsworth a pep talk and his own shirt, which you can really buy at WWEshop.com.

Here’s Randy Orton to open things up. Orton praises Bray Wyatt for being far more evil than Randy expected. Escaping Wyatt is like trying to get out of quicksand: the more you pull, the tighter it becomes. Bray appears on screen from inside a coffin and says he’s having so much fun messing with Orton. By the way, he’s here.

Randy Orton vs. Luke Harper

Harper shoves him outside to start but his suicide dive is broken up with a forearm. Back in and Luke goes up, earning himself a superplex back down. There go the lights though and we’ve got Bray being brought to the ring in his coffin, carried by druids in sheep masks. We come back from a break with Orton on the floor and Bray walking around near the casket. A Michinoku Driver gets two for Harper but he can’t put Orton in the casket. Instead, Orton comes back with his clothesline and powerslam but Wyatt comes in for the DQ at 7:48. Too much was spent on Bray’s entrance and the commercial to rate, though it was just angle advancement.

The Wyatts load up the casket but Kane is inside. Orton and Kane clean house but the lights go out again and the Wyatts disappear. Now this is the kind of thing I can go with: the Wyatts using their supernatural powers to mess with people and stay a step or two ahead of their opponents. We don’t see that enough.

AJ Styles is worried because Dean Ambrose is lurking around tonight. This could wind up being just like in WCW when David Arquette became WCW World Champion. If Ambrose tries something, AJ will find him anywhere he goes.

Naomi vs. Alexa Bliss

Alexa has Nightmare on Elm Street style attire. Naomi starts fast with right hands and those dancing kicks. Back up and Bliss eats a springboard clothesline, followed by a legdrop for two. Bliss gets sent into the buckle and heads outside as we go to a break. Back with Naomi scoring off a backbreaker and jawbreaker, only to be sent hard into the corner again. A quick Twisted Bliss gives Alexa the pin at 10:49.

Rating: D+. So what in the world was the point in having Naomi go over at the pay per view? Like really, what did that accomplish? Alexa just comes right back and wins on Smackdown like the No Mercy match never happened. This is the kind of thing that you never see on Smackdown and feels like it belongs on Raw.

Bliss says Becky’s fairy tale ends in three weeks when she becomes the champion, just like the fairest of them all.

We look back at Miz beating down Dolph Ziggler last week until Heath Slater and Rhyno made the save.

Curt Hawkins vs. Apollo Crews

Hawkins’ theme music is him reciting his Curt Facts. After he wins tonight, Apollo is going to have to change his last name to LOSE. Apollo hits him in the face and that’s enough for Curt, who walks out before the bell. No match.

Here’s Carmella for a talk about Nikki Bella. Two months ago she was basking in the glow of her first pay per view match but heard Nikki Bella’s music. Before she can get much further though, here’s a ticked off Nikki. Carmella says she’s stealing the spotlight again but that’s not surprising since Nikki’s boyfriend is John Cena. Nikki doesn’t think that’s much of a surprise since the relationship is featured on two TV shows and all over the internet. She’s right actually.

Carmella shows us clips from Total Divas and Total Bellas with Nikki being some…..well being a big bunch of stuff ranging from annoying to needy to talkative to nothing out of the ordinary. The graphic says Total Need-Freak but Nikki says she wears the pants in her relationship and fights her own battles. It’s all about being fearless and all the fans know she’s not afraid of anything, including a Boss, a Queen or a Princess from Staten Island. Carmella: “Did John help you come up with that?” She accuses Nikki of using her looks and relationship to become famous but leaves before Nikki can do anything.

Ellsworth can’t believe this is happening and starts crying over the idea of telling his grandkids about this.

Miz/Spirit Squad vs. Dolph Ziggler/Heath Slater/Rhyno

Rhyno clotheslines Mikey down to start as Otunga talks about the Spirit Squad coaching high school cheerleading. Slater and Ziggler take turns on Mikey as Miz looks on. Mikey finally gets in a few shots on Dolph and brings him into the corner for the tag off to Miz. The threat of a superkick sends Miz outside though and we take a break.

Back with Miz in control of Ziggler and handing it back to Kenny for two off a legdrop. The fans want Slater but have to settle for Dolph suplexing Mikey. Miz comes in and knocks Rhyno off the apron, only to walk into the superkick from Dolph. The big diving tag brings in Slater as everything breaks down. Rhyno Gores Mikey and Slater rolls Kenny up for two. A right hand from Miz gives Kenny the pin on Slater at 9:25.

Rating: C. This was fine and I guess sets up the Spirit Squad as the next challengers for the Tag Team Titles. It’s not exactly the Usos or American Alpha but when you have all of five teams (since Breezango has disappeared), adding in another is hardly the worst thing you can do. At least Ziggler didn’t get pinned.

Natalya comes in to see Daniel Bryan and offers her services on the Survivor Series women’s team. Bryan isn’t sure, even though there are only five women active at the moment. Natalya: “Are you following my cat on Instagram?”

Jack Swagger vs. Baron Corbin

Corbin says this is for everyone who says WE THE PEOPLE. A shoulder block knocks Swagger off the apron and into the barricade so Corbin can drive in a bunch of forearms to the back of the head. End of Days wraps Swagger up at 1:40.

Natalya is still showing Bryan her cats when Ambrose comes in wearing a referee shirt. Bryan says thanks but no thanks. If Dean wants to, he can be timekeeper, ring announcers or whatever. Dean: “I’ll do that.”

Smackdown World Title: AJ Styles vs. James Ellsworth

AJ is defending and Ambrose is at ringside to do a variety of jobs. Ambrose handles ring announcing and introduces Ellsworth as weighing about 160 or 170 and as Rocky II, III and IV rolled into one. After ringing the bell about 50 times, Ambrose grabs the mic and says to stop the match because we have to take a break. Back with AJ hammering away in the corner as JBL loses his mind about Ellsworth being in a title match.

AJ starts taking his time but Dean says someone has left the lights on in their Corolla. With some frustration setting in, AJ throws James outside but Dean throws him back in. This is repeated about five times and the distraction lets Ellsworth get in a superkick. JBL: “DON’T DO IT! DON’T DO IT!” Otunga: “He hit him with No Chin Music!” The fans start getting behind Ellsworth….until he charges into a spinebuster. AJ hammers away in the corner…..and that’s a DQ at 13:15. Dean: “The loser of this match: AJ Styles!”

Rating: C. Obviously the wrestling wasn’t the point here but I liked the idea. Would you rather have them advance Dean vs. AJ with the same stuff they’ve run into the ground for years now or with something fresh for a change? The last two weeks have been fun for a change and that’s exactly the point. It’s advancing the story in a different way, which is far better than seeing AJ and Dean with tag partners for a one off match.

Dean gives AJ Dirty Deeds and announces Ellsworth as the man who has more victories over Styles than John Cena. Ellsworth can’t stand up to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The storytelling around here continues to feel fresh as we’re getting a lot of the same stuff presented in different ways. I don’t feel bored throughout this show and there’s nothing as stupid as Titus Brand Rolexes. This actually works as a wrestling show and they’re building to some good stuff coming up. Good little show here with a fun main event and that’s all you need.

Results

Randy Orton b. Luke Harper via DQ when Bray Wyatt interfered

Alexa Bliss b. Naomi – Twisted Bliss

Miz/Spirit Squad b. Dolph Ziggler/Heath Slater/Rhyno – Rollup to Slater

Baron Corbin b. Jack Swagger – End of Days

James Ellsworth b. AJ Styles via DQ when Styles wouldn’t stop attacking in the corner

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 17, 2016
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s a big moment tonight as Goldberg will be making his first appearance in WWE in over twelve years. Goldberg is back tonight to answer Paul Heyman’s challenge for a match against Brock Lesnar at some point in the future (likely next month’s Survivor Series). Other than that we have two more shows before the Cell is lowered so let’s get to it.

Opening sequence. Is there a reason why they got rid of Last Week on Raw? Taking too much promo time up?

Here are Kevin Owens and Chris Jericho for the opening chat. Owens thinks Mick Foley has a personal vendetta against him because he’s put the title match inside the Cell. Jericho’s calls for quiet backfire so he talks about all the stuff that happened inside the Cell over the years, including ending Foley’s career.

It’s still going to be the Chris and Kevin Show because Jericho should have been in that match as well. We hear Jericho’s resume again, including beating Rock and Austin on the same night. Jericho: “Bet you forgot about that one!” He only lost last week because of bad refereeing so THE REFEREE IS ON THE LIST!

This brings out Rollins to a BIG face chant. Like, even bigger than the time he beat up Roman Reigns and should have been turned face then. Rollins thinks everything about Jericho should be on the List, including the trunks which Rollins refers to as Sparkle Crotch. Jericho: “I AM NOT SPARKLE CROTCH!” For calling him that, Rollins JUST MADE THE LIST!

Seth brings up Owens bailing on Jericho two weeks in a row but that’s just to keep the team strong. Jericho issues a challenge to Rollins, who wants to fight right now. Actually hang on because Seth wants to know what Owens is going to do. Jericho and Owens disagree about whether Owens should stay or go with Jericho saying he’s got this because Owens can be here in spirit. Rollins: “Let’s do this. Owens, get your hands off Sparkle Crotch.”

Chris Jericho vs. Seth Rollins

First good sign of the match: the bell rings as we get back because Foley made it official during the break. Do that WAY more often. The SPARKLE CROTCH chants begin as Rollins clotheslines Jericho out of the corner and stomps on the Canadian. A backbreaker gives Jericho two and control but he has to fight out of a Pedigree attempt. Jericho backdrops him over the top and face first onto the apron as we take a break.

Back with both guys getting up and Rollins scoring with a Sling Blade for two. The nose breaking knee has Jericho in trouble but here’s Owens for a distraction. Rollins hits the springboard knee but gets distracted anyway, allowing Jericho to grab the Walls. The referee sees Owens holding the ropes away from Rollins though and the hold is broken. Instead Jericho goes with an enziguri but the Codebreaker is countered into a Pedigree for the pin at 14:36.

Rating: B-. This third straight loss for Jericho is proof of how important talking is in wrestling. Jericho has lost to Rollins three times now and he’s still going to be one of the most over acts on the roster with all of his stupid lines and charisma. It’s something so few people have going for them and Jericho is one of the best ever at it.

We look at Goldberg’s first win in WCW.

Earlier today, Lita sat down with Charlotte for a chat about what it means to go inside the Cell. Charlotte brags about how awesome she is and how this is the latest moment on her already amazing resume. She’s won eleven pay per view title matches in a row and this is going to be another one. Charlotte lists off all her accomplishments and says she’s going to win again because that’s what she does.

Golden Truth/Mark Henry vs. Shining Stars/Titus O’Neil

This is over the Shining Stars trying to rip Henry off fake Rolexes. Apparently they were Titus Brand watches so there’s your reason for this match. Titus beats on Goldust to start and it’s off to Primo for a chinlock. The powerslam allows the hot tag to Truth as everything breaks down. Henry tags himself in and the World’s Strongest Slam ends Titus at 3:09.

Rating: F. Oh screw off WWE. This was another waste of time because they don’t bother with putting together a storyline and just threw six guys out there for the sake of throwing six guys out there to fill in time. I have a big problem caring about WWE when it’s clear that they don’t care either. Either give this time to something worthwhile or have the people out there eating sandwiches because it might actually be more interesting than a three minute match over a Titus Brand Rolex.

Jericho yells at Owens for coming down to ringside and almost calls him a Stupid Idiot. Owens calls him out on it and here’s STEPHANIE TO SAVE THE DAY! She says this is what Seth Rollins is trying to do and somehow ties it into the feud with Smackdown over the upcoming Survivor Series matches. Stephanie leaves and the guys are all quiet because Mama yelled at them.

Big E. vs. Sheamus

Before the match, Big E. laughs at the idea of Cesaro and Sheamus being a good team. Kofi points out that you can’t say Sheamus without the word SHAME. Woods: “I doubt these two are even friends on Facebook.” Sheamus isn’t pleased and starts fast with a German suplex. Cesaro watches on Facebook Live because WWE wants you to stop watching the show and go look at that. The apron splash gets Big E. out of trouble and Cesaro stops for more video.

Back from a break with Sheamus diving into a belly to belly but blocking the Warrior Splash. Big E. grabs a powerbomb of all things for two and Sheamus gets the same off White Noise. Cesaro takes this opportunity to go into the crowd with his phone but Sheamus takes it away and demands that he film the following Brogue Kick. Instead it’s a splash in the corner and a rollup to give Big E. the pin at 10:24.

Rating: C-. Not a bad match here but OH MY GOODNESS this story is annoying. The whole thing is a way to hype up WWE on Facebook Live and we’re stuck sitting through the next two weeks of watching Cesaro and Sheamus losing but hoping they might pull it together in the title match. That’s storytelling in today’s Raw tag team division.

The next Goldberg video is him winning the WCW World Title from Hollywood Hogan on July 8, 1998. Cole actually makes two mistakes here, which is bad even for him.

1. Cole says this was when Goldberg had been undefeated for a year. You would know this is wrong because about half an hour ago, Cole showed us Goldberg’s debut in September 1997.

2. Cole says Goldberg was the first undefeated WCW World Champion. Save for Giant of course, who won the title in his debut match.

Point to all this: WWE is bad at wrestling history so you should buy my books about it instead.

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Bo Dallas vs. Neville

Curtis Axel is in Bo’s corner and is the biggest Bo-liever of them all. Dallas is all aggressive to start and knees away on a much smaller looking Neville. He’s clearly lost some muscle, perhaps for a cruiserweight run. Neville misses his running kick to the face but does his an Asai moonsault. Back in and Bo charges into a boot to the face but manages to leg sweep his way out of the Red Arrow’s path. A Roll of the Dice gives Bo the big upset at 2:56. So this is what you get for being arrested on a flight.

Bo beats Axel up post match and holds up the BO-LIEVE IN BO sign.

Bayley vs. Dana Brooke

Dana runs around a bit to start but gets caught in a Stunner over the middle rope. Back in and Dana knees her in the ribs, meaning it’s time for a Ken Bone joke. A chinlock doesn’t last long and Bayley starts with her elbows, followed by a dropkick to the back. Dana sends her face first into the post and…..gets the pin at 4:10. The ending looked a bit odd, as in not the planned ending. I think Dana was supposed to put her feet on the ropes (she was swinging her leg near them) but didn’t get them up there, meaning it was closer to a clean win.

Rating: D+. I was getting into this until the screwy ending. In theory that was designed to set up a rematch at the pay per view but instead it’s basically Dana just beating Bayley in about four minutes. If that’s the case then it makes a lot more sense but this ending hurt things a lot.

Paul Heyman joins us via satellite to say Goldberg isn’t worth Lesnar’s time because it’s a fantasy challenge. It would behoove Goldberg to just not show up tonight because otherwise Lesnar is going to hurt him very badly. The fans chant YES but Heyman says that’s just hurting Goldberg even worse.

Braun Strowman vs. Mile High Trio

The jobbers don’t have names but one of them thinks Strowman will have issues with the altitude. One of the guys has curly hair so Graves says he thought it was No Way Jose’s less intimidating cousin, Perhaps Not Jorge. Strowman throws two of them to the floor and LAUNCHES the third onto his partners. One of the trio tries to leave so Strowman chases him down and throws him back in. A powerslam and reverse chokeslam give Braun a double pin at 2:16.

Strowman says he’s coming to take matters into his hands right now but here’s Sami Zayn to cut him off. Strowman shoves him out to the floor and walks off. At least it’s something for both guys and that’s a good thing.

Sami says he’ll fight Strowman because no one else will.

Here are Rusev and Lana to run down America and its horrible family values. He’s heard about Roman’s family but he doesn’t want to hear about 700 Samoans sitting around a campfire dipping a turkey leg in mayonnaise. As a counter, Rusev, has a photo album of his own family.

This includes his mother (two time world rowing champion), his father (who wrestled in the military), his brother Rusev (Rusev Rusev? Either way he’s a chef.), his grandmother and their award winning dog. Reigns FINALLY comes out to interrupt and is quickly beaten down, allowing Rusev to put Reigns in the Accolade. The fight was good but the family bit ran WAY too long.

Clip of Goldberg debuting in WWE. So he had two big moments in WCW and then he was on Raw? That’s quite the reason to hype him up this much.

Emmalina video.

Big Cass vs. Karl Anderson

Cass erupts on Anderson in the corner and sends him flying with a fall away slam. Back in after a quick brawl with the partners and it’s the East River Crossing for the pin on Karl at 1:10.

Tony Nese and Drew Gulak agree on some kind of a deal with Brian Kendrick when TJ Perkins comes in. Perkins thinks there’s been a deal made but Kendrick says he doesn’t know how this works. TJ thinks this is WWE2K17 and he has unlimited lives but this is Kendrick’s last life. Cedric Alexander and Rich Swann come in and there’s a six man later. I appreciate the attempt at a story but the delivery was TERRIBLE here.

Earlier today Sasha Banks sat down with Lita. Sasha knows Charlotte will be ready because they’ve fought so many times before. Charlotte needs to know that the show is in Boston though and Sasha will be on her game in her hometown. Sasha is over her back injury and might be a bit intimidated by the Cell but she’s not afraid.

Video on Goldberg winning his second World Title at Unforgiven 2003.

Cedric Alexander/TJ Perkins/Rich Swann vs. Brian Kendrick/Tony Nese/Drew Gulak

Gulak takes Alexander into the corner to start before it’s off to Perkins to slam Nese in the corner. A tornado DDT is countered into a suplex for two on TJ and Kendrick comes in, only to get caught in the kneebar. Back from a break (yes a break in this match at 10:45) with Swann coming in for a hurricanrana as everything breaks down. Nese gives Rich the 450 and the Captain’s Hook is enough for the submission at 7:15.

Rating: C. This match exists and I’m not sure what else there is to say about it. The big takeaway for me is we have a six man tag that people don’t really care about so ALL SIX GOT AN ENTRANCE on a show that is already packed to the gills. Someone needs to map this show out a lot better because it’s only making things better.

The Bosses recap the idea for Survivor Series and make Jericho vs. Owens vs. Rollins for next week. Stephanie LOVES the idea. Foley: “I feel like we have a connection.” Stephanie: “Like the Rock N Sock Connection?”

We see Goldberg’s comments on SportsCenter from two weeks ago.

We see Heyman’s comments from last week.

Cole brings out “the greatest champion in WCW history”. I’ll just let that sink in for a moment as Goldberg gets the big, long walk entrance through the back with everyone applauding him (and the Governor of Colorado being shown on camera chanting his name). Goldberg finally comes out and soaks in some cheers before saying you should never say never again. His wife and son are here to see him for the first time ever.

Back in January, he got a phone call from 2K asking him to promote their new video game. The thing he misses most, other than hurting people, is being a hero for kids. Somewhere along the way, he created some drama around here and maybe it’s better left alone. Fans: “NO!” Goldberg: “BUT THEN!” Fans: “YAY!”

Goldberg talks about Brock having Heyman challenge him to a fight, which made him think he has one more beating left in him. Maybe he has one more spear and Jackhammer in him. That means Brock is next but he’s also last. Goldberg goes around the ring and picks up some kids (including his own) to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This show was a three hour tease until Goldberg FINALLY showed up to do what pretty much everyone was expecting. Raw is a show that really could use the NXT formula: have an A crew and a B crew and don’t put them on the show every week. There’s so much stuff on here that feels like it’s crammed in because EVERYTHING has to make air every show, leading to a lot of short matches that don’t have time to do anything because we need to move on to something else.

There are a few good things scattered throughout the show but with nothing getting a focus (and the World Champion stuck in the opening segment as a background character while the adults do everything else) until the end, the show was WAY too long and full of stuff that wasn’t interesting, which is the case far too often anymore.

Results

Seth Rollins b. Chris Jericho – Pedigree

Golden Truth/Mark Henry b. Shining Stars/Titus O’Neil – World’s Strongest Slam to O’Neil

Big E. b. Sheamus – Rollup

Bo Dallas b. Neville – Roll of the Dice

Dana Brooke b. Bayley – Ram into the post

Braun Strowman b. Mile High Trio – Reverse chokeslam

Big Cass b. Karl Anderson – East River Crossing

Brian Kendrick/Tony Nese/Drew Gulak b. TJ Perkins/Rich Swann/Cedric Alexander – Captain’s Hook to Swann

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Judgment Day 2002
Date: May 19, 2002
Location: Gaylord Entertainment Center, Nashville, Tennessee
Attendance: 14,521
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

The company is ice cold coming into this show and I can’t imagine this is going to make things any warmer. Raw has turned into a mess with the old guys doing whatever they want while Smackdown is about Vince somehow failing to sleep with Stacy Keibler because he can’t just get a room somewhere. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is rather disturbing with a bunch of nooses and small children talking about death. What a great way to get me in a fun spirit for the show.

Intercontinental Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Rob Van Dam

Van Dam is challenging in a rematch from last month’s title change. They start fast as you would expect with Eddie being sent outside in early frustration. Back in and Eddie tries to duck a crossbody but gets head faked, allowing Van Dam to drop a split legged moonsault for two. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker keeps Eddie in trouble and we hit a surfboard. Lawler: “That looks more like my dating strategy.”

The announcers try their hands at Spanish as Eddie takes over with right hands in the corner. A monkey flip sends Eddie flying and stays on his back so Rolling Thunder can get two. It’s too early for a Five Star though as Eddie crotches him on the top. A powerbomb can’t set up Eddie’s frog splash though as Eddie spends a bit too long dancing on top.

Van Dam still can’t hit the Five Star though as Eddie moves away, leaving the announcers to wonder how to say RVD in Spanish. He can however hit a high crossbody for two (Lawler: “Mama Mia. Is that Spanish?”), followed by a backslide for the same. Ever the cheat though, Eddie grabs a backslide of his own and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin to retain.

Rating: B. Now why can’t these two get this kind of time on Raw? I know you can’t give a single match twenty minutes a week but would it kill them to have ten minutes on an episode of Raw and cut out one of the multiple matches that don’t even get three minutes because they don’t matter? Anyway, good stuff here, as you would expect from these two.

Reverend D-Von and Batista are with Vince and Stacy, the latter of whom they pray for before her match against Trish. Vince, who looks at Stacy while they’re praying and tells D-Von to wrap it up, asks if Bubba is going to be here. D-Von doesn’t think so, despite Vince saying Bubba would be here and Bubba being shown on the graphic.

GET THE F OUT! Did they only record that one gardening bit for the campaign?

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Stacy Keibler

Trish is defending and Lawler freaks out over her shorts. D-Von, Batista and Bubba come out after the entrances, leaving me time to wonder how we went from Trish vs. Molly to Trish vs. Stacy. Maybe because Stacy is more willing to wear leather shorts and a tied off leather top? Stacy kicks Trish in the head for two to start but gets pulled down into a Boston crab and they’re not even hiding what they’re going for with the visuals.

Trish gets in a kick of her own to knock Stacy outside, allowing her to slap Bubba in the face. Batista uses the distraction to slam Trish and give Stacy a two count. That’s finally enough for Trish as she baseball slides Stacy and hits a bulldog (more like the kind Jericho uses to set up the Lionsault) to retain. Stacy clearly had no business out there but to be fair they didn’t try to act like she did and got them out of there fast.

Bubba and D-Von get in a fight post match with Batista helping put Bubba through a table.

Vince comes in to see Ric Flair and Arn Anderson and the bosses share their hatred of Austin. Remember like two months ago when the company was split in half because of their feud?

Hardy Boyz vs. Brock Lesnar/Paul Heyman

Thankfully Heyman is in full body workout gear. The brothers are smart enough to take out the monster for all of ten seconds but don’t have Matt beat the tar out of Heyman or just roll him up while Jeff slows Lesnar down for reasons that aren’t clear. Brock saves his buddy and starts beating on Matt as the fans chant for Goldberg. Please, don’t make me think about that match.

The backbreaker has Matt reeling but he grabs a quick tornado DDT to scare Heyman half to death. Jeff gets the tag and everything breaks down with the brothers going after Heyman. Brock gets tired of these flies and throws Jeff into Matt, setting up the F5. Heyman comes in and grabs the pin like a chicken heel should.

Rating: D-. What were you expecting here? Lesnar really needs to move on to something else, though to be fair he squashed a great tag team more than once and they made him look like a monster. He needs to move way up the ladder in a hurry though because this sort of act is only going to work for so long.

Booker T. is now in an NWO shirt but cancels an interview to hit on a woman who just happens to be standing off camera. The woman has something in mind and gives Booker her hotel room key. I smell shenanigans.

We recap Steve Austin vs. Ric Flair/Big Show, which is just the latest Austin vs. McMahon clone. Flair and Austin have been fine on the talking but there’s just no heat to this feud because everyone knows it’s warmed over leftovers. They even show Austin vs. Vince clips in the build. Show is here because he’s mad about not being on Wrestlemania, which is of course Austin’s fault in wrestling logic.

Steve Austin vs. Ric Flair/Big Show

Based on the entrances, I’m pretty sure Flair isn’t in the NWO. I’m also fairly sure that Show’s low cut one piece women’s swimsuit attire is some of the dumbest gear of all time. Just have him in shorts and a Big Show shirt. Austin slugs away at both guys to start but decides to try a Figure Four on Show. Instead he has to knock Ric out of the air first and put him in the hold.

Show misses an elbow drop and Austin wisely grabs a chair. The referee takes that away so Austin gets another one and has a seat. We finally get started with Austin punching Flair out to the floor, meaning it’s time for beer. A tackle dropdown goes well for Austin and an exchange of chops give us a Flair Flop. Show comes in and because 2002 is a strange year, Austin isn’t sure what to do. His decision: push-ups. Not a fan of exercise, Show chops him down and throws Austin into the corner, allowing a tag to Flair for a low blow.

Flair goes up and is slammed right back down (JR: “From no man’s land to Parts Unknown!”) but Show comes back in with a powerslam. The team starts taking turns on the knee as this isn’t exactly thrilling. It’s not a bad match or anything but it’s just there. The idea of Flair taking someone’s knee apart has worked for years but I don’t buy the story behind the match and a match being just ok isn’t enough to make up for that kind of a downside.

Flair gets the Figure Four until Austin turns it over, only to have Show break that up as well. Austin’s back is fine enough for punches vs. chops, giving us WHAT vs. WOO in one of the more eye roll inducing chants. Austin starts in with the spinebusters as X-Pac comes out. Show no sells a Stunner for some reason but X-Pac’s missed superkick puts him down. Huh? The Stunner puts Flair away a few seconds later.

Rating: C+. The match was totally fine but it’s really hard to buy Austin in this midcard role. I know it’s one of the top stories on Raw but this is midcard level stuff at best. Austin vs. Flair isn’t interesting and Austin beating up the NWO week to week is even worse. Big Show and Booker T. are the big names in the division and there’s no reason either of them would be a real threat to Austin in the ring. What’s interesting about seeing Austin fighting midcarders like X-Pac? The feud was dead from the start and it feels like they’re wasting what Austin has left.

We recap Edge vs. Kurt Angle, which is over Edge messing with Angle’s new shirt. For some reason this set up a hair vs. hair match.

Kurt Angle vs. Edge

They start fast with Edge getting an early rollup and getting stomped in the ribs for his efforts. That’s fine with Edge who ties Angle up in the ropes for a spear, only to have Angle suplex him way over the top. Back in and a spinebuster gets two for Angle (not something you see him use that often) as the announcers discuss the shapes of the wrestlers’ heads.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before Angle pulls him down by the hair. That’s a nice little touch, albeit not the most subtle. Edge comes back with a belly to belly of his own (JR: “He ain’t wearing a hat!”) and an Edge-O-Matic gets the same. Angle is sent outside for a dive from Edge so it’s time for more suplexes. JR: “That suplex was finer than frog hair split four ways.”

An Edgecution gets no cover for no logical reason as Edge goes up top, allowing Angle to hit a great looking pop up superplex. Edge DDTs him out of the corner for two of his own but spears the referee by mistake. That means the spear only gets two on Kurt, who spears Edge right back. The Angle Slam looks to set up the ankle lock but Edge small packages him for the pin.

Rating: B. These two work really well together and it’s a great way to make Edge look like a star as he pinned a former World Champion clean to win the feud. The company really needs some fresh stars in the main event scene and Edge makes as much sense as anyone else. As usual, Angle can make people look great and that’s so valuable in wrestling.

Angle goes after Edge but gets an Edgecution. It takes too long to get him to the chair though and Kurt escapes.

We go to the Marriott where Booker is in bed. The woman joins him and the lights go out….so Goldust can say he wants Booker to leave the NWO and come back to him. The lights come back on and Goldust is in bed with them. Booker runs off with his underwear hanging down. Goldust: “I bought this nightgown for nothing!” They mentioned that Goldust planned the whole thing but I could go for him just randomly appearing in the room with them. It suits him that way.

The Cell is lowered.

We recap HHH vs. Chris Jericho. These two have feuded since Wrestlemania with HHH winning almost all of the matches. HHH then went after Vince, who set this match up as punishment.

HHH vs. Chris Jericho

Even with a lower level match like this, it’s cool to see the Cell in any form. HHH starts in with the knee and some right hands in the corner. They head outside so neither can be sent into the cage, followed by Jericho’s flying forearm to take over. Jericho misses a charge into the post though and HHH takes him outside for a whip into the cage wall. Neither can keep an advantage again though as Jericho whips HHH over the corner for another crash to the floor. HHH comes right back with a whip to send Jericho’s bloody arm into the steps. At least they’re bringing the violence early on.

The Pedigree onto the steps is countered into a catapult into the cage wall. Since the Cell isn’t enough, Jericho brings in a ladder to smash HHH in the face, drawing more blood. Jericho throws the ladder over the top at HHH in a spot that always looks good. I’m actually surprised by how much they’re giving Jericho here. I know it’s HHH in a big match against an opponent he owns but they’re doing a really good job of making Jericho look strong here.

HHH’s chair shot doesn’t get him out of trouble but the drop toehold to send Jericho into the steps works a bit better. To make it a bit worse, HHH just throws the steps at Jericho for a painful sounding thud. Now we get to the bad part of the match as HHH whips Jericho into referee Tim White, knocking White off the apron and into the Cell. The bump badly hurt White’s shoulder and basically ended his in ring career.

Jericho beats White up even more (if he wasn’t hurt before, he is now) and busts him open for a rare visual. Since White has the key, the other referees have to cut the door open to check on White. That’s enough for HHH and it’s time for a sledgehammer off Jericho’s head. No referee of course though so Jericho crawls out of the Cell, continuing the running joke of THE CELL DOESN’T WORK.

They head to the announcers’ table (of course) where Jericho loads up a Pedigree (of course) but HHH counters (of course) into a DDT through the table. HHH pulls out the barbed wire 2×4 and Jericho goes up the Cell wall with HHH following. For reasons of pure stupidity, HHH THROWS THE BARBED WIRE UP BOARD UP FIRST, allowing Jericho to take it away and hit HHH in the back.

With HHH’s back busted open, we hit the Walls of Jericho on the roof, meaning a referee has to climb up. You know, because now falls count on top of the Cell. HHH kicks away and hits Jericho low, followed by a barbed wire shot. A Pedigree onto the roof (that was scary) finally ends Jericho.

Rating: B. That’s probably the best HHH vs. Jericho match ever and it’s really not great. They did a much better job of making me believe Jericho could pull it off, which is something these two have never been able to do. I mean, would you believe that this Jericho could beat HHH in a major match? That being said, this still felt like it was missing a big chuck in the middle. They did the Jericho beatdown but then they were on the outside for the final act. It’s still good though and an acceptable blowoff, though it would have been fine as a regular cage match.

Angle runs from Edge in a goofy looking chase.

Get The F Out, set to Mark Henry’s Sexual Chocolate theme and taking place in the back of a steamy car. At least that answers my question.

Maven and Torrie go on a date at WWF New York.

Tag Team Titles: Billy and Chuck vs. Rikishi/???

Welcome to the death slot. Billy and Chuck are defending and Rikishi’s mystery partner is……Rico. This is officially Vince’s decision so he indeed likes the wacky partners. Billy’s DDT has no effect on Rikishi to start but Rikishi’s charges misses both champs. Rico won’t tag in though and the champs take over in the corner.

Chuck gets a rather impressive overhead belly to belly for two as the fans aren’t exactly caring, meaning the death slot is living up to its name. The big man fights back again with some Samoan drops before sitting on Chuck’s chest for two. A HORRIBLE looking one man 3D (which JR calls a headbutt in mid air, which is probably closer than what Rikishi was going for) gets two on Billy but Rico kicks Chuck by mistake. Rikishi kicks Chuck as well and gets the pin for the titles. No reaction or anything, but he got the titles.

Rating: F. The story is tired, the result is predictable and the match sucked. I’m really not sure what else you were expecting here as Rikishi is somehow the old veteran on Smackdown. Hopefully this isn’t a long reign and we can get ANYONE else as better champions sometime soon.

Angle attacks Edge (instead of LEAVING) and brings him back to the arena. Edge reverses into a sleeper and Angle gets the big haircut. Edge wants the new chant to be YOU’RE BALD and it sounds as bad as it seems.

We recap Hulk Hogan vs. Undertaker, which is a game of how bad can we really make this. Undertaker won a match last month to become #1 contender and they’ve messed with each others’ motorcycles since. The question tonight is how embarrassing can Hogan actually be with Undertaker having to carry the match.

Undisputed Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Undertaker

Undertaker is challenging and has Hogan’s weightlifting belt. As always, Hogan takes too long coming in and gets whipped over the back. Hogan no sells (duh) and hammers away before doing a little whipping of his own. We get the opening bell and it’s time for Hogan do do his stuff while Undertaker does most of the selling, which is both the right call and a major stretch on Undertaker’s part.

Undertaker is whipped into the steps and things are made even worse when Old School is broken up. I’ll give them this: they’re three minutes in and Hogan hasn’t horribly botched anything yet, meaning we’re going well so far. Hulk actually hits a superplex (biggest spot he’s done in YEARS) for two before settling back in for some right hands.

A chop block gives Undertaker a target though and it’s time to slowly work over the knee. That of course means a few kicks to the leg and laying on it in a leglock. Yeah it’s boring but it’s also one less thing they could horribly botch. Hogan fights up and hits the big boot but the legdrop is countered into a dreadful half crab. Some rights and lefts have Hogan in trouble, though I’m not sure what’s scintillating about them.

Undertaker grabs him by the throat and Hogan barely moves, leaving Undertaker to loudly shout JUMP before hitting one of the worst chokeslams you’ll ever see (This is COMPLETELY edited on the Network as Hogan not moving is edited out along with Undertaker shouting. It’s also a different camera angle.).

That’s enough for the Hulk Up and the usual gets two for the champ. The running DDT gets the same for Undertaker as this is actually picking up a bit. Cue Vince as Hogan kicks a chair into Undertaker’s face and drops another leg for no cover. Instead Vince is dragged in for a legdrop of his own but Undertaker cracks Hogan with the chair. The chokeslam (better but still bad) is enough for the pin and the title.

Rating: D. The best thing they could have done here was keep this pretty short (about twelve and a half minutes) instead of having either guy out there for the marathons they had back at Backlash. Undertaker is a shell of his glory days at this point but he’s WAY ahead of Hogan and isn’t as likely to embarrass himself in the ring. Boring and familiar is much better than the nightmare that was watching a Hogan match so this was the only possible call in the options they had.

Vince is happy and Undertaker gets in some more chair shots for revenge to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. There’s an important lesson to be learned here: as bad as WWE can be around this time, there is good stuff worth checking out. Van Dam vs. Guerrero, the Cell match, Austin vs. Flair/Show and Edge vs. Angle were all good to very good matches. That’s half the card and a big chunk of the show that can be considered entertaining. Unfortunately there’s everything else and that stuff starts at horrible and goes downhill from there. I don’t think this changes much about TV going forward but at least we had a good two hour and forty minute show to enjoy.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: May 16, 2002
Location: Bell Centre, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Judgment Day and luckily hopefully we should get something competent this week. Smackdown may not be great but they’re put together far better than Raw. At least this show has more than one top level good guy, which the red show certainly can’t say at the moment. Let’s get to it.

The opening video recaps Chris Jericho/Vince McMahon vs. HHH from last week, including the announcement of Sunday’s Cell match.

Opening sequence.

Here’s HHH for a chat because we haven’t had that in a long time. See, Vince McMahon just doesn’t get it. He thinks you can just send people out here and have Jericho hit him in the head and cut off everything that HHH has done. HHH is going to keep going no matter what because he’s never going to stop. As for tonight though, how about Jericho comes out here right now for a preview of Sunday?

Instead HHH gets Edge, who was hit by HHH’s sledgehammer last week. Edge says they’re both good guys but he’s got an itch to play the game. The fight is actually on but here are Jericho and Kurt Angle to beat down the self-described good guys. Angle cuts some of Edge’s hair off but HHH makes the save….of someone who punched him in the face a few minutes ago. Well they’re both good guys so it’s a rule.

Stacy Keibler is about to give Vince a preview of her swimsuit for tonight’s contest but Angle and Jericho run in to celebrate cutting Edge’s hair. Tag match, main event, you know the drill.

Hardcore Holly/Lance Storm vs. Big Valbowski/Randy Orton

Orton charges in and gets chopped in the corner for his efforts. The dropkick puts Holly down and it’s off to Val to clean house. Orton’s high crossbody gets two on Storm with the Overdrive (that weird spinning Fameasser neckbreaker) getting the same. Storm gets in a superkick for two but gives a lazy cover, allowing Orton to roll him up for the fast pin.

Recap of Undertaker and Hulk Hogan’s motorcycle hijinks.

Hogan is here.

Maven awkwardly hits on Torrie Wilson and actually gets a date out of it. Torrie leaves but D-Von and Batista come in to yell at him for thinking lustful thoughts. Well yeah. Al Snow comes in because Maven still needs protection.

Ace reporter Gregory Helms comes in to see Funaki and accuses him of being evil. Funaki asks what’s wrong with him but has a note on his back. The note says Hurricane will be in for some pain if he wins the Cruiserweight Title tonight. This was amusing for pure goofiness.

Jericho promises to pull off his mask and show how evil he can be.

Reverend D-Von vs. Maven

D-Von beats on Maven like the rookie he is to start but misses the middle rope headbutt. Some rollups get two each for Maven but Batista gets on the apron, allowing D-Von to kick Maven low. Cole: “A shot to the kidneys!” No Cole, not exactly. The reverse inverted DDT (Saving Grace) puts Maven away.

Batista beats up Al Snow post match.

Stacy is on her way to the ring but stops to look in a mirror. A short person pops out from a cupboard and shills a new camera. Stacy is as confused as you would think.

It’s time for the swimsuit contest with Tazz emceeing. Stacy and Torrie come out but Tajiri comes out to cover Torrie up, despite us seeing most of what’s under her robe. Stacy doesn’t want to disrobe but here’s Trish Stratus (who can be on both shows since she won the Women’s Title) in a robe of her own. What luck that she was here and brought a robe with her own logo on the back. Trish doesn’t have a swimsuit but does have some red lingerie. Stacy swings a shoe but gets kicked to the floor, leaving Trish as the default winner.

Post break Stacy comes in to rant to Vince, who gives her a Women’s Title shot on Sunday. D-Von and Batista are in Vince’s office so Vince asks D-Von to provide protection. D-Von: “You want a reverend to buy CONDOMS?” Actually Vince means taking care of Bubba Ray Dudley, who will certainly be in Trish’s corner. I’m certain that’s not going to happen just because Vince suggests it either.

Rico vs. Rikishi

Rico jumps him from behind and gets launched into the air for a one man 3D (probably supposed to be a Samoan drop, as is Rikishi’s custom). Billy and Chuck interfere to give Rico an opening but Billy dropkicks Chuck by mistake. The distraction allows Rico to get in a spinning kick to the face but Rikishi sits on his chest for the pin.

Rikishi dances post match. Maybe he and Bubba Ray Dudley have a secret alliance?

Billy and Chuck and Rico interrupt Vince and Stacy (dude get a hotel already) to complain about losing to Rikishi. Vince says they’ll be defending the titles on Sunday against Rikishi and a partner of Vince’s choosing. It’s going to be Rico.

HHH promises to destroy Jericho’s career just like he did to Mick Foley. Edge comes in and says he’d love to continue their fight from earlier. HHH isn’t interested until Edge wins a few more World Titles. Maybe Edge can use HHH’s methods and marry the boss’ daughter and sleep his way to the top (which Edge would eventually do with Vickie Guerrero). That was a better burn when it hadn’t turned into a running joke.

Cruiserweight Title: Hurricane vs. Billy Kidman vs. Tajiri

Tajiri is defending and jumps Kidman during the entrance. Hurricane runs out and the champ gets double teamed until Kidman is smart enough to knock Hurricane outside. Kidman dropkicks Hurricane off the top and hits the shooting star for two on the champ with Hurricane making a last second save. A chokeslam gives Hurricane the title in less than three minutes. It’s not like the title means anything anyway so put it on the entertaining Hurricane. It isn’t likely to make a difference either way.

We run down Sunday’s card.

Here’s a limping Hogan, who actually has the nerve to sell that stupid motorcycle schtick from Monday. After a full three minute long ovation, Hogan praises the fans for having his back so many times. We pause for more cheering before Hogan talks about being in his own fantasy world every time he comes out here. Cue Vince to say he hates Hulkamania and enjoyed Monday night. See, Hulkamania has a terminal illness called cancer.

This Sunday, Undertaker is going to stuff Hulkamania in a cardboard box and bury it once and for all. The fans start singing the Goodbye Song, which I guess is aimed at Vince, even though it doesn’t make a ton of sense. Then again neither does cheering for Hogan. Vince says the red is for the blood Undertaker will spill on Sunday and the yellow is the streak up Hogan’s back. The boss slaps him in the face so Hogan punches him a few times. The big legs wraps up this very unnecessarily long segment.

Chris Jericho/Kurt Angle vs. Edge/HHH

Edge is stupid enough to charge in before HHH gets out to the ring and earns the double teaming from Angle and Jericho. A flapjack puts Jericho down and the good guys (their official name remember) take over. Jericho offers a distraction though and Angle belly to belly superplexes Edge off the top. A regular belly to belly sets up a missed Lionsault but Edge is too slow to make the tag. Instead Jericho comes in with Three Amigos so Edge gets in a middle rope dropkick for a breather.

The hot (work with me here) tag to HHH allows house to be cleaned. The double teaming doesn’t last long and it’s back to Edge for a double clothesline. Edge spears a chair out of Jericho’s hands, leaving HHH to Pedigree Angle for two with Chris making the save. HHH and Jericho fight into the crowd, leaving Angle to chair Edge in the head so the Angle Slam can give him the pin.

Rating: C-. I was bored with most of this as they were just going through the motions to set up both big matches at once. Edge vs. Angle is going to be fine and Jericho vs. HHH will be long yet watchable. The match was fine but there’s only so much you can do when you’re trying to fulfill a pretty simple goal.

Overall Rating: D. This show needed a lot more wrestling and a lot less Vince. Most of the show was built around Vince doing whatever he needed to advance stories or try to sleep with Stacy this week. The problem here though is only the main event was long enough to rate. I really need more than a bunch of two and a half minute matches and then a dull main event. Sunday’s show isn’t interesting for the most part and this show didn’t help anything.

Superstars
Date: October 14, 2016
Location: Oracle Arena, Oakland, California
Commentators: Corey Graves, Tom Phillips

It’s a big week around here as we’re coming off a pay per view and had a bunch of big matches announced for Survivor Series. In addition to that we also have the impending announcement of Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar II, which will probably also be at the November pay per view. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Shining Stars vs. Josh Andrews/Jared Pimm

Andrews seems interested in a time share to start but gets clotheslined instead. Well it’s more interesting than the time share would be. A double dropkick keeps Andrews in trouble and we get a LET’S GO JOBBERS chant. Epico gives him a delayed vertical suplex but a jawbreaker allows the tag off to Pimm. A double underhook gutbuster has Pimm reeling and an enziguri/legsweep combo puts him away at 3:46.

Rating: D. The Shining Stars just aren’t interesting and the crowd silence here tells you everything you need to know. There’s a reason these two have been around for years and barely ever done anything on the roster. Sometimes you have to accept that all the repackaging in the world isn’t going to save some acts.

We recap Raw’s opening segment between Rusev/Roman Reigns/Sasha Banks/Charlotte which set up the following mixed tag.

Charlotte/Rusev vs. Roman Reigns/Sasha Banks

The genders have to match so we start with multiple tags before any contact. Rusev punches Reigns to start and a clothesline gets two. Reigns starts a comeback as the fans want Sasha. The villains are knocked to the floor and we take a break. Back with Reigns caught in a chinlock and more WE WANT SASHA chants. A Superman Punch allows the tag to Charlotte, meaning it’s off to Sasha to clean house. Wouldn’t it have been smarter to not have Rusev tag so the advantage isn’t lost? The double knees in the corner get two on Charlotte and the Bank Statement makes her tap at 9:48.

Rating: D+. Well that happened and it was nowhere near as amazing as the announcers tried to make it seem. The fans really didn’t seem to care about Rusev vs. Reigns as there’s almost no way Rusev is getting the title back and everyone knows it. There was nothing to the match anyway and the sudden ending didn’t help things.

We see Goldberg’s comments on SportsCenter.

Here’s Paul Heyman to discuss said Goldberg comments but first we get another WWE2K17 video, this time of Lesnar vs. Goldberg. Heyman has heard people whispering about Goldberg returning for years now because they want one more spear and Jackhammer. You still hear the chants today and there they go again.

Everyone that got in the same ring as Goldberg was conquered while he was running parallel to Brock Lesnar. It keeps Heyman up at night that Goldberg is one up on Brock so as of tonight, Goldberg is officially challenged to a fight any place anytime. Goldberg can either live in the past or step in this ring and be conquered. In Suplex City, Goldberg is next.

Darren Young vs. Jinder Mahal

Yes again. Young takes him down with a headlock and chops in the corner a bit. For some reason Mahal heads outside to yell at Bob Backlund so Young takes him to the apron, only to get kicked into the post. Back with Darren in an abdominal stretch as the announcers talk about Mahal’s inner peace. Something about breathing techniques. Mahal slowly stomps on the ribs and puts on a chinlock with a knee in the back. Young fights up again and hits the belly to back suplex on the apron but Jinder kicks him in the head for two more. A dropkick gives Darren two more and the Gut Check ends Mahal at 11:02.

Rating: C-. I liked this better as it was a bit more competitive but Darren Young vs. Jinder Mahal is as stereotypical of a Superstars match as you’re going to get. Once the Election takes place and we can get rid of Make Darren Young Great Again, I can’t imagine either of these guys are going to be around much longer. Neither of them are interesting and neither of them have any depth to their characters.

From Raw, Stephanie McMahon and Mick Foley set up the night’s main event.

Here are the bosses with Stephanie making fun of Foley’s red flannel suit. In what sounds like a Home Shopping Network ad, Foley and Stephanie talk about the Women’s Title match being inside the Cell and confirm it for a second time tonight. But wait: there’s more. In a THIRD Cell match, Seth Rollins will be challenging for Kevin Owens’ Raw World Title as well.

This brings out Chris Jericho and Kevin Owens to say Mick has outdone himself this week. Owens doesn’t want to be in the Cell because he doesn’t want to be an old, broken down man like Foley. Jericho wants to know if he and Kevin can have their own private jet if Mick is just throwing out presents. The recklessness involved in putting Owens in the Cell means FOLEY JUST MADE THE LIST! Foley: “I started the List.” Jericho: “YOU JUST MADE THE LIST AGAIN!”

Stephanie tells Jericho to show Foley respect (MAKE UP YOUR FREAKING MIND ALREADY STEPHANIE!!! TWO WEEKS AGO YOU TREATED FOLEY LIKE A THREE YEAR OLD AND NOW JERICHO NEEDS TO RESPECT HIM???) so she has an idea: if Jericho can beat Rollins tonight, he’s in the title match as a triple threat. Because Raw needs to top Smackdown’s triple threat!

And now, that main event.

Seth Rollins vs. Chris Jericho

If Jericho wins, the Universal Title match becomes a triple threat. Rollins doesn’t care for having a toothpick thrown in his face so he smacks Jericho around. A Blockbuster gets two for Seth and Jericho bails to the floor, only to get caught by a slingshot dropkick. Cue Owens for a distraction so Jericho can take over and we take a break.

Back with Jericho kicking Rollins off the top and slapping on an abdominal stretch. Rollins sends him face first into the middle turnbuckle and gets two off a Sling Blade (which Jericho called loudly). Seth goes up top and slams Jericho off, only to have his crossbody dropkicked out of the air. The low superkick gets two on Jericho but Owens offers a distraction, allowing Jericho to grab the Walls.

A belt shot from Owens gets the same and Rollins takes him down with a suicide dive. The springboard knee to the head gets two on Jericho but he avoids the frog splash. A Lionsault gives Jericho a near fall of his own but he misses a high crossbody. Jericho reverses the Pedigree into another Walls attempt, only to get small packaged for the pin at 19:14.

Rating: B-. The ending was more of a relief than anything else as I really, really didn’t need to sit through another triple threat title match, especially inside the Cell. Rollins vs. Owens isn’t the most interesting thing in the world but Jericho can go and do something else instead of trying to salvage this upper midcard feud.

Post match Owens and Jericho beat on Seth but Rollins fights back and gives Jericho a Pedigree as Owens bails to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t one of their better shows as the original wrestling really didn’t do anything for me. Mahal vs. Young was done last week and I really didn’t need to see the same thing in a version nearly three times as long. Couple that with a boring squash and this show pretty much just existed for the sake of the Raw recaps, where your mileage may vary.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 13, 2002
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Since when does a city get Wrestlemania in March and Raw in May? It’s the final Raw before Judgment Day and the big question is what can possibly happen to Hogan and Undertaker now? Last week was a total disaster and I can’t imagine things are going to get any better here. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Hardy Boyz vs. Brock Lesnar

From a Tag Team Title match at Wrestlemania to putting Lesnar over two months later. Matt gets in a few shots to start but hands it off to Jeff, who is planted with a big, strong slam. Matt goes after the leg as the fans chant for the Maple Leafs. The slow beating of Matt continues until a ram into the buckle allows the tag to Jeff. Right hands don’t work and a HORRIBLY botched jawbreaker sets up Poetry in Motion for the big hope spot. Jeff hits a splash as Matt drops a top rope leg but Heyman pulls the referee out at two for the LAME DQ. JR: “I think the referee has disqualified Heyman.” Not quite Jim.

Rating: D. So Matt and Jeff get to beat Brock and almost have him pinned? Well on one hand, Lesnar shouldn’t be able to beat one of the best teams ever but on the other hand, Lesnar shouldn’t be in anything close to this much trouble yet. As has been the case with everything else around here lately, this was really poorly booked and does a lot more harm than good.

Post match, the Hardys hit their tandem finishers so Heyman challenges them to a rematch at the pay per view with himself as Brock’s partner. Matt immediately accepts in a very loud voice for someone not on a microphone.

The NWO is in the back when Ric Flair comes in. Flair has apparently taken over as leader for the group but he’s had to fire Scott Hall for dropping the ball at Wrestlemania and multiple other times (read as because of the Plane Ride). On top of that, of course Nash isn’t suspended because he’s just out healing from bicep surgery. As for tonight though, there’s going to be a new member of the team and it’s such a big secret that even the new member doesn’t know yet. Uh, that’s kind of a stretch no?

Get The F Out.

Here are Flair and Big Show with something to say. Flair mentions being a sixteen time World Champion, which makes him fifteen times better than the Maple Leafs. The Leafs have won thirteen Stanley Cups so I have no idea what he’s going for there. I get what he means but the wording is weird. He also has a real enforcer in Big Show instead of that worthless Tie Domi.

Flair thinks it’s clear that there’s a problem between himself and Steve Austin. He gave Austin everything he wanted and got Stunned so Austin is like everyone else here: trash. Austin is in big trouble on Sunday, but tonight Flair has other ideas. Tonight, he’ll be challenging Hulk Hogan for the World Title. I can live with that actually as their matches can at least be passable and shouldn’t involve motorcycles.

Post break we’re told that Flair has made his title shot a No DQ match. That’s probably necessary.

Hogan arrives…..on a motorcyle. Oh geez.

Shawn Stasiak vs. Eddie Guerrero

Non-title and fallout from Eddie accusing Planet Stasiak of growing marijuana. I’ve heard weirder. I mean, I can’t think of anything at the moment but I’m sure it’s out there. Maybe on Planet Stasiak. We’re not ready yet though as Rob Van Dam comes out to watch as well. Stasiak grabs a quick gutwrench suplex but Eddie gets in a regular suplex to set up the frog splash for the easy pin.

Van Dam jumps Eddie post match. Eddie yells at Rob for interfering in his match (which he didn’t do) and promises to get revenge on Sunday.

Steve Austin doesn’t think much of Flair and does a lot of WHAT stuff to bother Coach. He says he’s going to win on Sunday and insults Flair in a bit that takes about three times as long as it should.

And now, A Day in the Life of Tommy Dreamer. See, Tommy is disgusting and brushes his dog’s teeth before using the same brush, shaves his tongue and drinks toilet water. I’ll take an answer to any one of the following questions:

How does this advance anything?

How stupid do you have to be to find this amusing?

What does this accomplish other than making the answer to the previous question laugh?

Was there no one else who could get this time?

Why am I watching this on a wrestling show?

Molly Holly vs. Terri

William Regal, who seems to be dating Molly is on commentary. Terri is wrestling in a tank top and underwear so you can imagine who Lawler is cheering for. We start with Terri’s horrible offense (since she’s not a wrestler) as Lawler makes fun of Molly for being a virgin. A suplex gets two for Molly but she gets crotched on top and taken down by a shockingly competent hurricanrana. Not that it matters as Molly small packages her for the easy pin. This got double the time as the match to set up Sunday’s Intercontinental Title match.

Regal escorts Molly out so she doesn’t have to deal with rude Canadian fans.

WWE World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Ric Flair

No DQ. Hogan is defending and comes to the ring on a motorcycle because that’s the plot point of his feud with Undertaker. A shoulder puts Flair down early and it’s time to pose a lot. Flair gets shouldered again so it’s time for an early chair. By that I mean Ric throws one around and tries chops for some reason, only to have Hogan chop him in the corner instead.

Hogan switches over to the much better right hands and a slam off the top as they’re just doing the old standards here. Flair takes over with a low blow and stomps away before starting in on the knee. The knee drop to the knee is blocked and Hogan puts Ric in the Figure Four. Flair makes the ropes and it’s already Hulk Up time. The big boot and legdrop look to finish but X-Pac comes in for the save. Big Show and Bradshaw are your next to run-ins, followed by Austin to Stun Flair, setting up the legdrop to retain the title.

Rating: D. Hogan and Austin in the same match and somehow the idea of them doing ANYTHING together was never even teased on TV. Pay either of them whatever they want to set that match up as I’m sure one of them would be able to get over their legacy issues if the check was big enough. Anyway, Hogan was much more in his element here: getting in and out in less than two minutes and having more than enough interference to keep him from actually wrestling.

Flair yells at the NWO and makes a lumberjack match with Austin facing the newest member of the team. Fine, but have we gotten a reason as to why Flair is with the NWO or whether or not he’s actually with the team? I know he’s hanging out with them but he’s not in NWO gear and isn’t announced as an official member. Ignoring the fact that Flair would be the last person to join that group, could they at least make this a bit more clear?

Hardcore Title/Women’s Title: Bubba Ray Dudley/Trish Stratus vs. Steven Richards/Jazz

Richards and Jazz are defending and only one title changes if the champions lose. Bubba throws Trish onto both champions to start and tells Richards to shut up. Trish takes Jazz inside for the opening bell before Bubba splashes Richards into Jazz. That means Jazz falls face first into Richards’ crotch. It’s funny you see. The weapons are brought in because the match is half hardcore (just like the division for years now).

Bubba starts punching Richards and crushes his crotch with a hockey stick and stop sign. Since we haven’t buried this idea into the ground enough, here are Crash Holly and Justin Credible to unsuccessfully go after the title. Steven tags Jazz in because tags exist in a hardcore match. Jazz’s double chickenwing slam sends Trish crashing to the mat but a quick Stratusfaction gives Trish the title back.

Rating: D-. My head hurts again and most of it is due to that hardcore nonsense. This story could have been done just as easily (and far more effectively) with the men being left out. At least Trish won the title back in her hometown, which makes you wonder why they didn’t just do the title change at Wrestlemania about six weeks ago. The hardcore stuff got the focus because it’s flashier and the title change is overlooked. Such is life in 2002 WWE.

Trish tells Bubba to get the tables and the already knocked out Jazz is powerbombed. Nice one WWE.

Undertaker has nothing to say about last week’s motorcycle incident. That’s probably better for everyone involved.

We run down the pay per view card. I’m not exactly thrilled, even with all the gimmicks included.

Goldust and Booker T. will be lumberjacks tonight so Goldust has given Booker a costume. We get part of the Lumberjack Song from Monty Python and Booker finally snaps. I don’t know what it is about these things but they keep cracking me up. It could be that it’s two guys with comedic chemistry and funny material instead of unfunny people with no chemistry and bad material. Just a thought.

Bradshaw vs. X-Pac/Big Show

X-Pac starts for the team and gets thrown around like the smaller guy he is so Bradshaw can drop some elbows. Bradshaw makes the mistake of going after Big Show though and gets double teamed with Show pulling him down by the hair. X-Pac gets thrown around some more until Show hits Bradshaw in the back with a chair. Two chokeslams give X-Pac the easy pin.

Rating: D-. Was this supposed to be interesting? The NWO is down to the sixth original member and someone who left the team twice, plus Ric Flair (maybe). It took two members plus a chair shot to beat BRADSHAW. The team can’t even beat midcarders on their own anymore and it’s not even sad anymore. Now it’s just annoying and a really big waste of time.

Hogan, in a helmet and leather jacket, says he was thinking about taking the gear off and scaring hoodlums in neighborhoods but he’d rather be a lumberjack. Cue Undertaker to beat Hogan down and tie him to the motorcycle. Undertaker then rides it around the back of the arena in something that looks like it belongs in a straight to DVD comedy which isn’t funny in the first place. Actually, I think Hogan does something like this in Suburban Commando (which is a classic and therefore doesn’t fit the earlier description).

After riding around the back of the arena for a bit, which looks more fun than dangerous and painful, Hogan crashes into some cardboard boxes. That could be very abrasive to the skin, especially in leather. This was more funny than bad but can I get Hogan in a leather jacket and helmet rampaging through neighborhoods and beating up low level criminals? That almost has to be a rejected movie script somewhere. Hogan gets looked at by medics and put in a neck brace, despite that probably being the safest stunt this side of a stunt man you’ll see in WWE.

Steve Austin vs. ???

Flair has handpicked the lumberjacks so Austin beats up the low level heels for a warmup. The newest member is….Booker T. Well who else was it going to be? Like seriously, who else? Regal maybe? Eddie? It’s not like Booker is doing anything else at the moment other than the funniest stuff on the show. Luckily Booker is completely willing to join the team, even though it’s a downgrade from the Lumberjack Song. Lawler: “Who wouldn’t want to be in the NWO?” JR: “Just about anybody with any common sense.” True story.

Booker hammers away and Austin hammers away before grabbing a spinebuster to take over. The FU elbow is broken up by Boss Man pulling Austin to the floor so Brock can beat him up. A ram into the post only gives Booker two so Austin hits another spinebuster and the worst right hands I’ve ever seen him throw. Flair and the NWO beat on Austin some more but he clotheslines Booker as he gets up from the Spinarooni. The NWO beats up Austin for the third time so he hits Booker low, beats up more lumberjacks, Stuns Regal…..and rolls Booker up for the pin.

Rating: F. My head is exploding from watching this. In case it’s not clear, Austin is fighting the NWO, which they established earlier tonight, over the last several months, plus THREE TIMES IN A FIVE MINUTE MATCH. The NWO has turned into a horrible disaster (which wasn’t that far of a fall in the first place) and now the newest member, and pretty easily the most talented member of the team at the moment, is losing in a 10 on 1 match? Booker is the kind of guy who could easily be elevated to the main event (which is DYING for fresh blood, especially on the face side) but he’s jobbing to Austin like this? There are no words.

Post match Arn Anderson of all people jumps Austin from behind and a big beatdown ends the show.

Overall Rating: Agoobwa. This show has turned into a circus and the NWO is stuck in the tiny car. The ONLY face worth anything on this show is Austin and he’s stuck with this never ending NWO feud where he’s clearly slumming it, even when the entire team is fighting him at once. Flair is a low rent version of Mr. McMahon, Brock is stuck fighting the Hardyz again and again, Booker is now in the NWO because reasons, Eddie and Van Dam are talented but are basically this show’s cruiserweights (have the only good matches all night and then get forgotten by the halfway point) and the women are fighting about being virgins.

I don’t even know what to make fun of on here. They know how to put on good shows but this whole EVERYONE IS A HEEL BUT AUSTIN schtick is getting old. Let Van Dam go fight in the main event or have Booker help in the fight against the NWO instead of joining it. Just do…..ANYTHING other than what they’re doing at the moment. I have no idea who thinks this is the best way to go about doing things but something needs to change and it needs to change soon because this is some of the worst wrestling TV I’ve ever seen.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: October 11, 2016
Location: SAP Center, San Jose, California
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga

It’s the show after No Mercy and that means it’s time to start getting ready for Survivor Series. There isn’t another Smackdown only pay per view until later in the year so we’ll get to see some stuff with both brands interacting. Other than that we’ll need a new #1 contender for AJ Styles. Let’s get to it.

We open with a pay per view recap, focusing as the Smackdown World and Intercontinental Title matches.

Here’s Dolph Ziggler to get things going. The fans tell Ziggler that he did it and Ziggler says WE DID IT. Ziggler didn’t know how things were going to go until Sunday and check your cable guide if you don’t believe him. (My cable guide for this show says “and a look at Dolph Ziggler’s exit from WWE.” Well done if that was a fake out.) He didn’t know if Sunday was going to be his last time but he pulled it off one more time.

Cue Miz and Maryse with Miz going on a rant about how this is just the second act of the story. This is the Empire Strikes Back before he beats Ziggler once and for all. Miz gets in a great line about how people like him get the girl and the gold and he’s already got the girl. Ziggler shows us a clip of Miz crying on Sunday but Miz says he isn’t done with Ziggler….and neither are there. Cue the Spirit Squad and it’s time for a handicap match.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Spirit Squad

Non-title with Ziggler clearing the ring in about thirty seconds before we go to a quick break. For a bonus, we can actually see what’s going on during the breaks via a split screen. Back with the Squad in control and Kenny putting on a chinlock. Mikey gets caught in a sleeper before a double DDT plants both cheerleaders. A superkick knocks Kenny silly (Mauro: “OH MY GOD! HE KILLED KENNY!”) for the pin at 6:43.

Rating: D. So Ziggler has the big moment on Sunday and tonight he’s fighting two over the hill male cheerleaders. Ziggler seemingly can’t help but get away from the low level comedy which so often drags his character down. It’s bad enough that his name is Dolph Ziggler but he has to fight goons like these two? Hopefully this is a one off moment because it’s already taken away a bit of the momentum.

Post match Miz goes after Ziggler but Heath Slater and Rhyno of all people make the save.

We see a WW2K17 version of Miz vs. Ziggler from Sunday. Ignore Ziggler’s tights being the wrong colors.

Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan have a special announcement for Survivor Series: a five on five Raw vs. Smackdown Survivor Series match, a five on five Raw vs. Smackdown tag team Survivor Series match and a five on five Raw vs. Smackdown women’s Survivor Series match. I’d much rather them beef up a big pay per view than make it into its own show again.

Naomi vs. Carmella

Carmella jumps her before the bell and we take a break. We come back joined in progress with Carmella holding Naomi in a chinlock and talking trash as Alexa Bliss is shown watching backstage. Naomi’s dancing kicks have Carmella reeling but she pulls Naomi off the middle rope to take over. Cue Nikki Bella (who Carmella attacked earlier today) for a distraction though and Naomi rolls Carmella up for the pin at 2:57 shown. That’s becoming way too common of a finish again.

Alexa says she can beat Naomi any day of the week and twice on Sunday. Bryan comes in and says she can prove that next Tuesday.

Jimmy Uso vs. Chad Gable

Gable takes him to the mat and works on an armbar but gets superkicked in the ribs. The Samoan drop keeps Jimmy in his comfort zone and we hit a chinlock. Gable pops right back up and hits a spinning top rope clothesline to show off a bit. A cross armbreaker over the ropes has Jimmy in trouble but Jimmy grabs a rollup with Jey holding him in place for the pin at 2:50.

The Hype Bros talk about picking up women and Ghostbusters when the Ascension interrupt. Evil staring ensues and a tag match is probably set up for later.

Here’s AJ Styles to brag about his win on Sunday. He beat Dean Ambrose and John Cena in a single match and that’s simply phenomenal. The fans are a bunch of losers for wanting to cheer Cena when he’s off trying to be Kelly Ripa’s co-host or for cheering someone as weird as Ambrose. Most champions would take a year off after a win like he had at No Mercy but AJ isn’t even taking a night off. Instead he’s giving someone a chance tonight so bring out his opponent. Cue Ambrose but that’s not who AJ meant. Ambrose accuses Dean of ducking him but AJ has a newcomer in mind.

AJ Styles vs. James Ellsworth

It’s chin guy! Non-title of course. Dean kind of wants to see this because Ellsworth 3:16 says if you’ve got two hands, you’ve got a fighting chance. AJ wants Dean gone but here’s Bryan to say hang on a second. The match will take place and Ambrose will be the guest referee. Dean steals the referee’s shirt and makes AJ hold everything in his pockets, including a flask and Tic-Tacs.

The bell rings and we get a weapons check before going to a break. Back with barely any contact having taken place, which makes me wonder why bothered ringing the bell before the break. Dean won’t let him use a closed fish but AJ argues that everyone uses it in WWE. James throws a right hand and AJ is so incensed that he chases James around the ring. Back in and Dean trips AJ so Ellsworth can get a rollup for two.

The Calf Crusher makes Ellsworth tap but Dean stops to take a phone call. JBL: “HE CAN’T HEAR THAT BEHIND HIM???” JBL annoys me as much as anyone but he’s hilarious when he snaps like that. Ellsworth is thrown outside but Dean throws him back in, only to stop to flirt with a good looking woman. Back in and the Styles Clash gives AJ two as Dean stops to stare at him before three. Dirty Deeds lays AJ out and Ellsworth gets a very close two. Dean heads outside to steal a soda before giving AJ another Dirty Deeds. A fast count gives Ellsworth the pin at 10:34.

Rating: B. This was a lot of fun and I had a blast with it. They were trying for goofy here and went with something over the top instead of the same tropes they always use in these things. It’s also nice to see a heel get this treatment instead of a face for once. That being said, they might have been better served to do this on a different night than right after AJ wins such a huge match.

Randy Orton asks Kane if he wants to go on the ride through his nightmares. Kane agrees, but says Orton has issues.

Royal Rumble By the Numbers video.

AJ yells at the bosses so he’ll take issues into his own hands. Daniel says he has an idea for Ellsworth for next week.

Wyatt Family vs. Kane/Randy Orton

Before the match, the Wyatts say the world being crazy has brought them back together. Tonight Randy and his monster can join them in the abyss. Bray hammers on Kane to start so Kane throws him into the corner for right hands of his own. A big boot looks to set up the chokeslam but Bray bails to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Orton superplexing Harper and making the tag to Kane. That goes bad for the masked one though as he gets double teamed in the corner with the Wyatts starting in on his ankle. Kane easily fights them off and brings Orton back in to clean house. The elevated DDT plants Wyatt but Orton gets distracted by the big guys fighting outside.

The referee yells at Kane, allowing Harper to superkick Orton down. Wyatt misses the backsplash though…and there go the lights again. They come back on to have Harper in Kane’s place on the apron, allowing Wyatt to hit Sister Abigail for the pin on Orton at 10:49. Kane is nowhere to be seen. JBL: “You don’t just lose a 7ft tall superstar!”

Rating: C+. The ending was fine for Wyatt Family standards and I’m glad Bray pinned Orton again. If nothing else it means that we’re not likely to be seeing Orton getting the World Title shot for the time being so at least it’s not time to get annoyed. It’s not the best ending in the world but it came after two hours instead of three so I can live with it a bit better.

Overall Rating: C. Totally watchable show with a good set of matches announced for Survivor Series and a really fun AJ match. The wrestling wasn’t the point here as they were much more about bringing things down from No Mercy and making it clear that we’re coming up on a bunch of rematches. I actually liked No Mercy so that’s not the worst thing in the world.

Also, I really can’t emphasize enough how much the missing hour helps this show. You can have stuff like a vanishing Kane, Ziggler fighting cheerleaders and a screwy referee but no matter what happens there’s never more than two hours left, as is so often the case on Raw. It’s an easy show to sit through and they do entertaining stuff to boot. Good stuff here, as usual.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Spirit Squad – Superkick to Kenny

Naomi b. Carmella – Rollup

Jimmy Uso b. Chad Gable – Rollup with assistance from Jey Uso

James Ellsworth b. AJ Styles – Pin after Dirty Deeds from Dean Ambrose

Wyatt Family b. Randy Orton/Kane – Sister Abigail to Orton

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 10, 2016
Location: Oracle Arena, Oakland, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re less than three weeks away from Hell in a Cell and only one of the namesake matches has been set up so far. The interesting question is what will be the second (if not the third): Seth Rollins vs. Kevin Owens or Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks. Both have been announced for the show but neither has officially been announced as taking place inside the Cell. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Sasha Banks to get things going. Sasha says she’s on top of the world right now and wishes Eddie Guerrero a happy birthday. She spent years watching Eddie lie, cheat and steal his way to the top. Last week she was in the main event of Raw, just like Trish Stratus and Lita were all those years ago. Sasha knows the rematch is coming at Hell in a Cell so let’s put it inside the Cell for the first time ever.

Cue Charlotte but Rusev (now with sideburns) and Lana of all people come out to interrupt. Rusev says no one cares about this women’s revolution but Charlotte takes the mic from him and, with Stephanie style tones, asks Rusev who he thinks he is. The match with Sasha is on inside the Cell.

Rusev takes the mic back and says good for you but he wasn’t done. This time it’s Sasha taking the mic away and throwing it to the mat. Lana says Sasha and Charlotte need to learn their place because they’re whining like little girls. That earns Lana a shove down and Rusev gets dropkicked out to the floor. Roman Reigns comes out to prevent the male on female violence. The match really doesn’t need to be inside the Cell from a storyline perspective but this is the next logical step for the women being treated as equals and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Here’s New Day to talk about the history of sports in Oakland, including the Splash Brothers and the Bash Brothers. That brings them to the most famous friends though: Danny Tanner and Uncle Jesse. See, there’s about to be a full house because New Day is three of a kind and they’re about to deal with a pair in Cesaro and Sheamus. Kofi has a hot garbage sign to describe Sheamus and Woods says the title match at the pay per view will prove that New Day rocks.

Cesaro vs. Kofi Kingston

Cesaro shoulders him down to start as we hear about Demolition’s record again. Apparently Sheamus is on Facebook while he’s sitting on the steps, not watching the match. They head outside for a staredown as we take a break. Back with Kofi getting two off a middle rope crossbody as Sheamus is still on Facebook. Trouble in Paradise misses and it’s time for the Uppercut Train. Kofi escapes a Sharpshooter attempt but tweaks his leg on a springboard attempt. Sheamus decides to go after Francesca and the distraction lets Kofi small package Cesaro for the pin at 7:45.

Rating: C. This was more about advancing the story than the match itself and that worries me. The announcers kept talking about how Cesaro and Sheamus have no chance to win the titles, making me think that’s exactly what’s going to happen. New Day has gone on WAY too long to let this thrown together team beat them for the belts two months before they break a nearly thirty year old record.

Tonight it’s Charlotte/Rusev vs. Reigns/Banks. Am I missing something or did Charlotte dropkick Rusev earlier tonight?

We see Goldberg’s comments on “Sportscenter”, where he said he’d love to face Brock Lesnar again.

Bayley vs. Cami Fields

Cami starts fast with some shoulders in the corner and stomps her way out of a sunset flip attempt. That’s about it though as the Bayley to Belly finishes Fields at 2:19.

Dana Brooke jumps Bayley post match.

Chris Jericho is on the phone with someone and says he wants a pay day. R-Truth comes up and offers him a Payday candy bar. I’ll take it if Jericho doesn’t want it.

Drew Gulak/Tony Nese vs. Sin Cara/Lince Dorado

You knew Cara would be involved in this sometime. Gulak and Dorado start things off but an early headscissors means it’s off to Nese. Dorado gets taken into the wrong corner as the fans are dying by the second. A Gory Special has Dorado in trouble and it’s back to Nese for a chinlock. It’s back to Cara for a moonsault to both villains and a springboard crossbody for two on Gulak. Everything breaks down and Cara suicide dives onto Nese. Dorado hits a shooting star press to pin Gulak at 3:17.

Rating: C+. The best thing they could do here is get them out of the ring quickly. This division isn’t working and there’s really no hiding that anymore. Would it really kill them to let some of these guys talk about something other than being athletes and wanting to prove that they’re the best in the world? Like, giving them some characters etc?

Stephanie McMahon invites herself to join Mick Foley’s Cell address.

Here are the bosses with Stephanie making fun of Foley’s red flannel suit. In what sounds like a Home Shopping Network ad, Foley and Stephanie talk about the Women’s Title match being inside the Cell and confirm it for a second time tonight. But wait: there’s more. In a THIRD Cell match, Seth Rollins will be challenging for Kevin Owens’ Raw World Title as well.

This brings out Chris Jericho and Kevin Owens to say Mick has outdone himself this week. Owens doesn’t want to be in the Cell because he doesn’t want to be an old, broken down man like Foley. Jericho wants to know if he and Kevin can have their own private jet if Mick is just throwing out presents. The recklessness involved in putting Owens in the Cell means FOLEY JUST MADE THE LIST! Foley: “I started the List.” Jericho: “YOU JUST MADE THE LIST AGAIN!”

Stephanie tells Jericho to show Foley respect (MAKE UP YOUR FREAKING MIND ALREADY STEPHANIE!!! TWO WEEKS AGO YOU TREATED FOLEY LIKE A THREE YEAR OLD AND NOW JERICHO NEEDS TO RESPECT HIM???) so she has an idea: if Jericho can beat Rollins tonight, he’s in the title match as a triple threat. Because Raw needs to top Smackdown’s triple threat!

Rollins says Stephanie loves to pull strings and is always five moves ahead. Tonight though, he’s going to ruin those plans by beating Jericho. Rollins wants to know what Owens is thinking though because Jericho might go into business for himself.

Curtis Axel/Bo Dallas vs. Enzo Amore/Big Cass

And never mind as Anderson and Gallows jump Enzo and Cass from behind before the match starts. No match.

After a break, Axel and Dallas say they want a tag match.

Curtis Axel/Bo Dallas vs. Sami Zayn/Neville

Bo beats on Sami in the corner to start as we hear about Foley making three Cell matches. Well given that they were all challenges issues by wrestlers, that’s not the most impressive things in the world. Axel takes over on Sami and hits a good looking dropkick. Not that it matters as an exploder suplex sets up the Helluva Kick and the Red Arrow for the easy pin on Axel at 2:28.

Lana comes into Charlotte’s locker room and snipe at each other a bit.

R-Truth vs. Titus O’Neil

Apparently Titus is mad about Truth getting the commercial for Payday earlier tonight. Titus throws Truth around to start as Graves plugs the Titus Brand. Goldust gets on the steps for a distraction and Truth grabs a rollup (with Titus’ feet in the ropes) for the pin at 2:12. That’s the second distraction finish tonight.

TJ Perkins comes in to see Brian Kendrick and talks about how Kendrick deserves another shot at the title. They shake hands but Kendrick goes after him, earning a right hand from the champ.

Braun Strowman vs. Splash Brothers

The Brothers are Steven and Clay. Strowman treats them like you would expect and splashes Steven while Clay is on Braun’s back. A double dropkick puts the Brothers down and it’s a running powerslam for Clay. Steven is reversed chokeslammed onto his brother for the pin at 59 seconds.

Braun still wants better competition. In other words: nothing changed this week and the writers get to stretch it out even more.

Roman Reigns and Sasha talk strategy.

Of all things, we get the Rumble by the Numbers video. Tickets go on sale soon it seems.

Charlotte/Rusev vs. Roman Reigns/Sasha Banks

The genders have to match so we start with multiple tags before any contact. Rusev punches Reigns to start and a clothesline gets two. Reigns starts a comeback as the fans want Sasha. The villains are knocked to the floor and we take a break. Back with Reigns caught in a chinlock and more WE WANT SASHA chants. A Superman Punch allows the tag to Charlotte, meaning it’s off to Sasha to clean house. Wouldn’t it have been smarter to not have Rusev tag so the advantage isn’t lost? The double knees in the corner get two on Charlotte and the Bank Statement makes her tap at 9:48.

Rating: D+. Well that happened and it was nowhere near as amazing as the announcers tried to make it seem. The fans really didn’t seem to care about Rusev vs. Reigns as there’s almost no way Rusev is getting the title back and everyone knows it. There was nothing to the match anyway and the sudden ending didn’t help things.

Tom Phillips asks Jericho and Owens about the possible change to the title match at the pay per view. Jericho: “That’s a stupid idiom.” Jericho says if one of them is champion, both of them are champion. Owens throws Phillips out but since Tom doesn’t get out fast enough, HE MAKES THE LIST, under the name Felipe Thomastein.

We see the Goldberg clip again.

Here’s Paul Heyman to discuss said Goldberg comments but first we get another WWE2K17 video, this time of Lesnar vs. Goldberg. Heyman has heard people whispering about Goldberg returning for years now because they want one more spear and Jackhammer. You still hear the chants today and there they go again.

Everyone that got in the same ring as Goldberg was conquered while he was running parallel to Brock Lesnar. It keeps Heyman up at night that Goldberg is one up on Brock so as of tonight, Goldberg is officially challenged to a fight any place anytime. Goldberg can either live in the past or step in this ring and be conquered. In Suplex City, Goldberg is next.

Emmalina video.

TJ Perkins vs. Ariya Daivari

Non-title with Brian Kendrick on commentary. Daivari has to go to the ropes to get out of an early kneebar and we hit the chinlock on Perkins. A neckbreaker gets two on TJ but he comes right back with one of his own. The slingshot dropkick sets up the kneebar to make Daivari tap at 5:14.

Rating: D+. This might have been my breaking point for the division. These matches aren’t interesting and having random people who happened to be in the tournament job to Perkins isn’t helping things. It’s just a total misfit on this show and nothing they’re doing is making it any better. Either make it interesting or scrap the thing already.

Jericho and Stephanie run into each other with Chris saying he thought about putting her on the list. Stephanie is cool with that though, as long as the Raw triple threat beats Smackdown’s triple threat. Jericho needs to remember that Stephanie can’t help him inside the Cell. Not that Jericho asked about it but Stephanie seems to think everyone needs her help. Owens comes up and asks what that was about but Jericho just says friendship.

Hispanic Heritage Month video on Tito Santana. It’s nice to have it be about a wrestler again.

A Tweet from Goldberg says he’ll be on Raw next week.

Seth Rollins vs. Chris Jericho

If Jericho wins, the Universal Title match becomes a triple threat. Rollins doesn’t care for having a toothpick thrown in his face so he smacks Jericho around. A Blockbuster gets two for Seth and Jericho bails to the floor, only to get caught by a slingshot dropkick. Cue Owens for a distraction so Jericho can take over and we take a break.

Back with Jericho kicking Rollins off the top and slapping on an abdominal stretch. Rollins sends him face first into the middle turnbuckle and gets two off a Sling Blade (which Jericho called loudly). Seth goes up top and slams Jericho off, only to have his crossbody dropkicked out of the air. The low superkick gets two on Jericho but Owens offers a distraction, allowing Jericho to grab the Walls.

A belt shot from Owens gets the same and Rollins takes him down with a suicide dive. The springboard knee to the head gets two on Jericho but he avoids the frog splash. A Lionsault gives Jericho a near fall of his own but he misses a high crossbody. Jericho reverses the Pedigree into another Walls attempt, only to get small packaged for the pin at 19:14.

Rating: B-. The ending was more of a relief than anything else as I really, really didn’t need to sit through another triple threat title match, especially inside the Cell. Rollins vs. Owens isn’t the most interesting thing in the world but Jericho can go and do something else instead of trying to salvage this upper midcard feud.

Post match Owens and Jericho beat on Seth but Rollins fights back and gives Jericho a Pedigree as Owens bails to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. What is the top story on Raw right now? Is it the Lesnar vs. Goldberg? Jericho/Owens vs. Rollins? One half of Raw vs. Smackdown? Charlotte vs. Sasha? The problem is nothing is standing out right now and it’s hard to care about a bunch of stories that feel like they belong in the upper midcard. I can’t even blame it on Stephanie this week (though her defending Foley had my jaw dropping) because it’s a recurring problem. Owens has had his legs cut off as he’s really just an afterthought at the moment in what feels like multiple feuds.

There’s too much stuff going on near the top and the LONG list of midcard and lower card feuds and stories don’t help things. Tonight you had two cruiserweight matches, that stupid Titus Brand stuff, the random tag feuds and Braun Strowman and I’m probably forgetting some. They need to trim some of this stuff down and stop trying to throw so much bad, unfocused stuff at us at the same time.

Results

Kofi Kingston b. Cesaro – Small package

Bayley b. Cami Fields – Bayley to Belly

Sin Cara/Lince Dorado b. Drew Gulak/Tony Nese – Shooting star press to Nese

Sami Zayn/Neville b. Curtis Axel/Bo Dallas – Red Arrow to Axel

R-Truth b. Titus O’Neil – Rollup

Braun Strowman b. Splash Brothers – Reverse chokeslam to Steven

Sasha Banks/Roman Reigns b. Rusev/Charlotte – Bank Statement to Charlotte

TJ Perkins b. Ariya Daivari – Kneebar

Seth Rollins b. Chris Jericho – Small package

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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No Mercy 2016
Date: October 9, 2016
Location: Golden 1 Center, Sacramento, California
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga

It’s the second Smackdown exclusive show and things have already been shaken up a bit. As announced by WWE.com, the Smackdown World Title match will open the show, presumably to avoid direct competition with the second US Presidential Debate. Why someone couldn’t watch both at once isn’t clear. Let’s get to it.

On the pre-show, Curt Hawkins comes out, says hello to San Francisco, and then leaves because he only said he was stepping in the ring. Ok that’s funny. His first match is Tuesday.

Pre-Show: American Alpha/Hype Bros vs. Ascension/Vaudevillains

Bonus match and PLEASE let this be the only pre-show match. Gable and English get things going and it’s already time for an NXT chant. Both Vaudevillains are thrown into the corner and English takes a double hiptoss. Viktor and Ryder come in and guess which one the fans like best. It’s off to Mojo for some dancing and again, WHY DOES JBL LIKE HIM SO MUCH??? Ryder tags himself in and everything breaks down so a quadruple clothesline can put the bad guys on the floor.

Back from a break with Ryder in trouble with English grabbing a chinlock. They head outside with Konor being sent into the barricade and then missing a charge into the post, allowing the hot tag to Jordan. Everything breaks down again and the Grand Amplitude ends English at 9:13.

Rating: C. Nothing we haven’t seen a bunch of times before but it’s a good choice for a pre-show match. Just let the guys go nuts with Alpha doing their stuff to hype up the crowd as a glorified dark match should. Above that though: they kept it relatively short and didn’t try to do anything more than they needed to. It’s better than Corbin vs. Swagger at least.

The opening video features a voice asking for mercy for the sins about to take place.

Smackdown World Title: Dean Ambrose vs. John Cena vs. AJ Styles

AJ is defending and the fans do not like Cena in northern California. For a change of pace, we get a recap video after all three guys have their entrances. Short version: AJ has beaten them both and we’re having a triple threat because TRIPLE THREATS RULE! It’s a big jawing session to start before all three fail at their finishers in the first minute. Ambrose takes over with some of his brawling and takes AJ outside for a few rams into the announcers’ table.

Cena follows them out but walks into a slingshot Phenomenal Forearm (that looked great). Back in and Cena German suplexes both of them at the same time (Mauro: “MAMA MIA!”) but AJ flips out of the AA and Pele’s Cena down. AJ moonsaults into the reverse DDT on Ambrose and grabs a regular version on Cena for a bonus. Ambrose is tossed outside and hits the steps, leaving Cena to grab a Code Red for two on the champ.

In something you don’t often see in a triple threat, AJ and Cena trade sleepers but Ambrose comes in and grabs one of his own. That goes nowhere so Cena initiates his finishing sequence on Ambrose until Styles makes the save with another German suplex. The finishers don’t work again so Ambrose and Styles suplex each other, leaving Cena to come in and pick up the pieces.

A Ten Knuckle Shuffle doesn’t appear to do much damage because it’s just a fist drop so Cena goes with an AA and STF on Ambrose. Styles makes the save and gets two on Ambrose with the springboard 450. The Styles Clash takes Ambrose out but Cena grabs the STF on the champ. Ambrose saves that so Cena picks them both up for the AA at the same time. I know it’s been done before and it’s been done with bigger people but THAT IS NOT NORMAL!

Neither guy gets flipped though as AJ escapes and Dean clotheslines Cena down. The Calf Crusher has Cena in trouble but Ambrose makes the save. Dean puts AJ in the Calf Crusher while Cena gets an STF, making AJ tap at 19:27. That doesn’t count though because it’s a double submission so the match continues. Dean gets two off Dirty Deeds with AJ pulling the referee out. Cena comes right back with the super AA but Styles blasts Cena with a chair to retain at 21:39.

Rating: B+. The match was great but can someone explain the false finish to me? Somehow Ambrose is the only one here who didn’t lose but AJ is the one leaving with the title. AJ winning is the only logical winner here as Ambrose had his one title reign and is much more interesting chasing the belt anyway. Cena can win the big one at Wrestlemania and that’s all that matters in the long run.

We recap Bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton. Wyatt targeted Orton for whatever reason (like he has logical reasons) and they were scheduled to fight last month but Orton’s injuries prevented it from happening. Their big showdown is tonight and there’s a possibility that Sister Abigail is lurking.

Carmella vs. Nikki Bella

Standard “you’re famous but I’m better than you” feud. Carmella goes right after her to start but gets thrown outside. Nikki follows her out and is tossed into the LED board to mess her neck up all over again. Back in and we hit the chinlock on Nikki, followed by the moonwalk into the Bronco Buster for two. Carmella cranks on the neck even more before just pulling on the hair.

A quick Bella Buster and small package get two each on Carmella but she grabs the Code of Silence. Nikki isn’t about to sell a neck hold though and powers up, followed by the big forearm. Another Code of Silence sends Nikki to the ropes and the Rack Attack 2.0 (TKO, which isn’t a move out of a rack) is enough to pin Carmella at 8:05.

Rating: C-. Now come on. You knew Nikki wasn’t about to lose her first singles match when she can get out of a finishing move twice and prove that she’s the real fearless star in a match. Carmella will be back, though hopefully nowhere near Nikki in the future. The build to this was good but Nikki winning the way she did made my eyes roll.

Miz comes up to the bosses and says Daniel Bryan and Ziggler will have a lot in common after tonight. Miz: “Maryse, say adieu.” Maryse (looking insanely good here): “Adieu.”

Tag Team Titles: Heath Slater/Rhyno vs. Usos

Usos are challenging. Jimmy pops Slater in the face to start so the fans remind Jimmy that SLATER HAS KIDS. Jey comes in and lets us know that he has kids too. An early chinlock doesn’t last long and it’s off to Rhyno for a running shoulder to the ribs. The running Umaga attack puts Rhyno down for two as the fans aren’t exactly thrilled with this so far. Rhyno fights out of a chinlock but gets dragged into the Uso corner to keep him in trouble. The twins keep taking turns on Rhyno until Jimmy runs into an elbow in the corner.

That’s enough for a hot tag as Slater comes in to clean house but the fans still aren’t getting into it. Everything breaks down and the fans get behind the champs as Jimmy punches Slater in the face. Heath is right back up though and powerslams Jimmy off the top for two (cool little spot). It’s time to go after Heath’s leg but Rhyno breaks up the Tequila Sunrise. Rhyno Gores Jey to retain at 10:17 in what I’d call a big surprise.

Rating: C. This got better by the end and the ending was a surprise but it didn’t get off the ground for the most part. I’m not sure I get the booking here but maybe the Usos get the titles back in the next few weeks on TV. Not a bad match though the lackluster crowd reactions didn’t help things here.

Bray Wyatt speaks in tongues before shifting to He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands.

Quick recap of Baron Corbin vs. Jack Swagger. Corbin lost to Swagger via submission but claimed he was reaching for the ropes instead of tapping out, which the video seems to back up. It’s nice to have a rematch over something that makes sense instead of just having one after someone wins clean.

Baron Corbin vs. Jack Swagger

Corbin goes right after him to start and sends Swagger outside to crush his hand between the steps and the post. Back in and Swagger starts wrenching at the bad hand before getting two off a hard clothesline. Swagger drops him close to onto the post but the hand keeps Jack from following up. Something like a belly to belly plants Corbin, who comes right back with a Deep Six for two more. One heck of a clothesline drops Corbin and it’s off to the Patriot Lock. This time Corbin makes the rope and pokes Swagger in the eyes, setting up End of Days for the pin at 7:27.

Rating: D+. This show needs a charge soon as it’s starting to lose a lot of steam. This wasn’t the best match in the first place but at least the story made sense. Swagger coming over to Smackdown is fine as he’s only there to be a jobber. Hopefully this leads to Corbin climbing the ranks as he has all the tools, save for the experience. Wins like this help, but Swagger doesn’t have the most value in the world.

We recap Ziggler vs. Miz. Ziggler has lost two straight title shots and is on a major losing streak. He has to win one big match though and is willing to put up his career for one more shot.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler is challenging and has his career on the line. Dolph tries to take it to the mat to start but opts for a pair of dropkicks instead. Miz comes back with with a double underhook crank before doing Daniel Bryan’s YES double knee stomp. The Reality Check gets two but Ziggler comes back with another dropkick. The Fameasser is countered into a slingshot sitout powerbomb and a rollup with a handful of tights gets two on Ziggler.

Miz changes gears by going after the knee with a dropkick to the back of the leg. That means the Figure Four goes on and it’s time for the long screaming session from Ziggler. A rope is grabbed and Ziggler comes back with a Rough Ryder of all things for two. The drama is really starting to take hold here and it’s working way better than I was expecting.

Ziggler is sent head first into an exposed buckle, setting up another slingshot sitout powerbomb for two. Miz is so furious that he gets caught in the Zig Zag for a VERY close near fall. The Skull Crushing Finale is countered into a rollup for two more so it’s off to a sleeper on the champ. Miz gets the ropes and hits the Skull Crushing Finale, only to have Ziggler get his boot on the ropes.

Miz rips Ziggler’s boot off and walks into a superkick but Ziggler’s injured leg delays the cover. Cue the Spirit Squad for a distraction so Ziggler superkicks Mikey down. The Skull Crushing Finale gets one of the closest near falls I’ve seen in a long time and Miz is ticked. The referee finally ejects everyone from ringside and it’s a superkick from Ziggler for the pin and the title at 19:33.

Rating: A-. It says a lot when I was begging for Ziggler to lose and was still getting into the near falls. They might have overdone it a bit with the Spirit Squad (Maryse could have done the same thing) but the drama was insane here because it felt like something was on the line. Miz’s reign made the Intercontinental Title feel like the most important thing in the world at times and that means Ziggler winning the title is important. Now, I have no faith in him to keep things going this strong because Miz is that much better than Ziggler and we’ve been here WAY too many times before, but very well done on the moment.

Randy Orton’s reflection distorts in a mirror.

Pre-Show recap.

Alexa Bliss vs. Naomi

Naomi is replacing an injured Becky Lynch, who will defend against Bliss on November 8 from Glasgow, Scotland. Bliss goes after her to start but gets dropped into the corner for the split legged moonsault. Naomi kicks Bliss away but gets her arm cranked to put Alexa in control. Bliss: “I DON’T LIKE YOU!” A dropkick knocks Bliss away and the Rear View gets two. Alexa grabs a cross armbreaker but gets rolled up for the completely clean pin at 5:01.

Rating: D+. Regretting this immediately, can someone explain the thinking here? Unless they’re setting up a triple threat (which is what they’re probably doing), this is another really head scratching result because Bliss should be rolling over everyone to set up the title shot. Instead she gets pinned by a replacement to…..I have no idea actually.

Hell in a Cell ad.

We recap Orton vs. Wyatt again, this time focusing on Wyatt tormenting Orton and playing mind games.

Randy Orton vs. Bray Wyatt

Bray laughs throughout Orton’s entrance. An early lockup sends Bray outside for a bit before it’s time to slug it out. The threat of Sister Abigail sends the fight outside again with Orton being thrown over the announcers’ table. Bray sends him into the steps and does the Orton pose before taking him back in for the running backsplash.

The slow beating continues with more clotheslines and a chinlock. Bray takes his sweet time going to the middle rope and misses the backsplash, which would have missed by two feet even if Orton hadn’t rolled away. Some forearms don’t have much effect for Orton so he goes with clotheslines because that’s how you make comebacks in WWE.

The snap powerslam gets two on Bray but the RKO is countered into Sister Abigail which is countered into a rollup for two more. Bray plants him with the release Rock Bottom and it’s back to the floor, only to have Bray miss another backsplash onto the steps. A belly to back suplex onto the barricade sets up Orton’s elevated DDT…..and there go the lights. Luke Harper shows up in the ring for a distraction and it’s Sister Abigail for the pin on Orton at 15:37.

Rating: B. So in other words it’s the old standard for Bray: the Family has to come in and help him out because Heaven forbid he does anything on his own. At least Bray won a pay per view singles match (first time since Battleground 2015) and it seems that we’re waiting on the Orton vs. Styles title feud that seems to be inevitable. It’s a good main event but this wasn’t going to follow Miz vs. Ziggler.

Overall Rating: B. The three main matches all nailed it but the rest of the show was pretty dreadful. They still don’t have enough to warrant three hour pay per view but at least the top of the card worked. Having the World Title match go on first was stupid and the Intercontinental Title match would have been a better main event, though at least the matches were good. This show really isn’t memorable aside from Miz vs. Ziggler but at least it was entertaining and went off the air early enough. Good show but it’s going to fall through the cracks.

Results

AJ Styles b. John Cena and Dean Ambrose – Chair shot to Cena

Nikki Bella b. Carmella – Rack Attack 2.0

Heath Slater/Rhyno b. Usos – Gore to Jey

Baron Corbin b. Jack Swagger – End of Days

Dolph Ziggler b. The Miz – Superkick

Naomi b. Alexa Bliss – Rollup

Bray Wyatt b. Randy Orton – Sister Abigail

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6