Due to a Wellness violation. Based on his rather sluggish performance last night, it’s quite possible he knew this was coming and was off his game. Normally I would say this might let him get a bit refreshed but really, WWE has shown that they have no interest in fixing him up and there’s no reason to hope otherwise this time. Smackdown needs another upper midcarder but it’s not like Del Rio was lighting the world on fire or anything.
Smackdown – August 16, 2016: What Does That Make Dean?
Smackdown Date: August 16, 2016
Location: Frank Erwin Center, Austin, Texas
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, David Otunga, John Bradshaw Layfield
It’s the final show before Summerslam and it’s time to see what the blue show has to offer. Odds are we’ll be seeing a big build towards AJ Styles vs. John Cena II to go along with Smackdown World Champion Dean Ambrose and Dolph Ziggler as guests on MizTV. We’ll also have another chance to see Eva Marie’s in ring debut. Let’s get to it.
Randy Orton signs his contract vs. Brock Lesnar but warns the bosses that the match might be short because it only takes one RKO. Heath Slater brings in a fruit basket but Bryan sees the card: “To Bob, my condolences.” Slater can’t believed that he’s not being offered a contract so Orton eats an apple and says he has an idea. A secret alliance with Carlito?
Opening sequence.
We open with MizTV but Dean cuts off Miz’s intro. Ziggler cuts off Dean’s opening statement though and they go nose to nose. Miz talks about how this is a huge fight for the title at Summerslam and even he thought Ziggler was a write off. He was a flop like WWE’s version of the Ghostbuster’s reboot. Again, I’d like to point out: a two time World Champion and a four time Intercontinental Champion should never be considered a flop. All Dolph cares about is winning the title on Sunday.
Miz gets cut off again as Ziggler says all he wants to do is kick Ambrose’s head off (of his face that is but I think I get what Dolph meant). Ziggler wants to hear Dean say he was the final push Dolph needed to get over the top. That earns a chuckle from Dean, who says the title isn’t the goal. Winning the belt is just the start because that’s the day the pressure really starts. Everyone knows Dolph can’t handle pressure which is why he’s never grabbed the ball and scored a touchdown. HE’S A TWO TIME WORLD CHAMPION AND HE WON IT THE SAME WAY DEAN DID!
Ziggler gets serious and says Dean is going to have to give everything he has but it’s not going to be enough to put Dolph away. As Dean is reaching down deep and looking for one last move BAM! Dolph lays him out with a superkick in mid sentence and says this Sunday, Dean will realize that he’s that good. Ziggler’s stuff was much better but this idea that Ziggler has never won the big one is ridiculous, especially coming from Ambrose. Or are they just burying the legacy of the World Heavyweight Championship and saying it doesn’t mean a thing anymore?
During the break, Miz insulted Apollo Crews by calling him Apollo Creed, only to have Crews come out and beat Miz down. I had almost forgotten about that match so it’s nice to get a quick something.
American Alpha/Usos/Hype Bros vs. Ascension/Vaudevillains/Breezango
Viktor and Gable start things off but Mojo tags himself in for a three point tackle. Konnor saves his partner from the Hype Rider and everything breaks down to take us to a break. Back with Ryder and Konnor reaching for tags as it’s off to Jimmy vs. English. Jordan starts throwing suplexes and it’s time for the parade of finishers, including a ridiculous four superkicks. Jimmy dives on most of his opponents, leaving English to take Grand Amplitude for the pin at 6:50.
Rating: D+. Well that accomplished a grand total of nothing. Wow the Usos can throw superkicks and hit dives and American Alpha is awesome. I feel so much more confident about this new division than I did coming in when I thought the division had no depth and was basically American Alpha and a bunch of nothing teams. That’s really not enough to warrant a title but I’m sure WWE would disagree.
Naomi vs. Eva Marie
Naomi’s full outfit now lights up, including her hair, and she has a backpack full of glow in the dark material to throw to the crowd. It’s certainly eye catching if nothing else. And Eva isn’t here due to traffic issues so no match again. This is becoming the highlight of the show.
AJ Styles can’t wait to see Alberto Del Rio beat up John Cena tonight but Del Rio tells him to stop living in the past.
Curt Hawkins is coming. Uh….yay.
Heath Slater vs. Randy Orton
So I guess just facing Lesnar last night doesn’t count for some reason. Slater can barely walk so Orton easily takes over by hitting him in almost every body part. Orton keeps hammering away in the corner…..and that’s a DQ at 1:00.
Orton destroys him post match and doesn’t seem to notice that he lost. The elevated DDT onto the floor sets up some German suplexes and Brock’s pose. An RKO leaves Slater out cold.
The Wyatts are here.
The bosses give Slater a contract so Heath brags about how he showed no mercy. Bryan thinks that’s a great name for a pay per view but Slater thinks Bryan is Mick Foley and a bigger star than Roman Reigns. Oh and Shane is Stephanie. That’s enough for the boss and Shane takes the contract away but Slater keeps reading the bed he’s laying on. No signing.
Erick Rowan vs. Dean Ambrose
Non-title and the Wyatts came out during the break. Of note: Bray and Randy had a staredown as Orton was leaving. Dean tries Dirty Deeds thirty seconds in but settles with a dropkick to send Rowan outside for a suicide dive. Back in and Rowan takes over with a powerslam before sending Dean into the steps. Rowan slowly stomps and pounds in the corner, only to have Dean suplex him back down.
Mauro: “WWE Champion Dean Ambrose willing to put it all on the line!” Other than the title in this match that is. Erick kicks him in the face as JBL talks about opponents not expecting Dean to drop an elbow while they’re standing up. You don’t expect him to do something he does in almost every match? Speaking of which, Dean hits Dirty Deeds for the pin at 4:58.
Rating: D+. That’s the match you would expect from these two as Erick showed off his power but Dean did his normal stuff while JBL said stuff that doesn’t make sense. I like the idea of having Dean fight midcarders though as it allows him to look good and the person he beats doesn’t look bad because they lost to the champ. Everything works fine.
Post match Bray looks at Rowan’s mask and walks away. Good.
Becky Lynch/Carmella vs. Alexa Bliss/Natalya
Carmella and Natalya start things off with a headscissors sending Natalya flying. We hear about Daniel Bryan making a new Women’s Title despite there being a total of five female wrestlers on the roster (I’m waiting on Eva to actually wrestle to count her and get it all the way up to six.). Natalya takes Carmella down and the heels take over until a diving tag brings in Becky. Everything breaks down and Natalya collides with Becky…..as Eva Marie comes out to her full entrance. This brings out Naomi for a chase to distract Natalya, setting up the Disarm-Her for the tap out at 4:15.
Rating: D. I probably shouldn’t have rated it due to how long the match spent on Eva’s entrance but it lets me talk about how stupid it is to have a title for this division. The entire division was involved in one match and you have a total of one former title holder in the whole thing. Becky has never won anything, Carmella and Alexa are rookies, Natalya is the same thing she was the day she debuted, Naomi is flashy but nothing great in the ring and Eva is a comedy act.
That gives you Becky, Natalya and Naomi to do the lifting until Bayley can come and make it four women of worth in the division, at least until Alexa and Carmella are more ready. Remember when all the women were in the ring the night after Wrestlemania and it looked like something might come of it? Yeah forget all that because having enough for one great division means it’s time to split it into two weak divisions.
Baron Corbin attacks Kalisto again. What did Kalisto do to deserve this kind of demotion?
Long video on Orton vs. Lesnar, which we saw a few weeks ago.
Alberto Del Rio vs. John Cena
AJ is on commentary. Feeling out process to start until a hiptoss sends Del Rio outside and he takes a breather in the crowd. Back from an early break with Del Rio hitting a shot off the top but missing a charge to crash out onto the floor. Del Rio kicks him in the face (kind of) and avoids a charge to send Cena into the buckle.
AJ and Otunga keep arguing over respect with Styles calling him a rookie. Since this is a Del Rio match and you can guess what he’s doing, I have the chance to flash back to Otunga being Styles’ replacement at an autograph booth at this year’s Axxess. I’ve never seen a line clear out so fast in my life. Alberto hits a DDT for two and we take another break.
Back with Del Rio diving into a dropkick as Cena starts his comeback. The Backstabber cuts him off and gives Alberto two, followed by the corner enziguri for the same. Cena reverses the cross armbreaker into the STF but Del Rio is too close to the ropes. The low superkick sets up the cross armbreaker but Cena escapes with a powerbomb. A quick AA gives Cena the pin at 16:56.
Rating: C+. Really if you’ve seen these two fight once, you’ve seen almost every one of their matches. Del Rio isn’t going to beat Cena in a regular match (certainly not at this point in his career) and it gets a little more boring every time these two fight. Del Rio is just so dull like this and it’s so boring watching him clearly not care.
AJ runs in for a Phenomenal Forearm. Styles says he’s tired of hearing that the future goes through Cena and he’s going to be the new face that runs this place. He goes to leave but comes back for more, allowing Cena to hit the AA. Cena isn’t done though and hits a big AA through the table to end the show.
Overall Rating: C-. This show had some moments but it never took off and a lot of that is due to a lack of a really compelling feud. AJ vs. Cena feels like the World Title feud while Ambrose and Ziggler are continuing to fight over who is the best wrestler from Ohio. I still can’t buy into the idea that Ziggler has never won a big match when he did the exact same thing Ambrose did. If so, what does that make Dean? Throw in the tag and women’s divisions that can fit into a single match and it’s hard to find a reason to get excited about this show.
Results
American Alpha/Usos/Hype Bros b. Ascension/Vaudevillains/Breezango – Grand Amplitude to English
Heath Slater b. Randy Orton via DQ when Orton kept attacking in the corner
Dean Ambrose b. Erick Rowan – Dirty Deeds
Carmella/Becky Lynch b. Natalya/Alexa Bliss – Disarm-Her to Natalya
John Cena b. Alberto Del Rio – Attitude Adjustment
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Monday Night Raw – August 15, 2016: Stop Me If You’ve Seen This Before Sunday
Monday Night Raw Date: August 15, 2016
Location: American Bank Center, Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves
It’s Summerslam week and Brock Lesnar is here. On top of that things should be back to normal with the full roster back after their Australia/New Zealand tour last week. We should get one last push on all of the big matches, including Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor for the first ever Universal Title. Let’s get to it.
Last week on Raw, Roman Reigns sent Lana into a cake and Seth Rollins didn’t think much of Finn Balor.
Earlier today Rollins was outside waiting for his opponent Finn Balor, or the Demon King. He calls him out for a fight right then and there but no one showed up. Tonight he’ll find Balor instead.
Lana and Rusev are in the ring with Lana saying they’re not leaving the ring until everyone hears what they have to say. There will be no Raw until Reigns comes out here and apologizes. Instead he gets Mick Foley, now in a Have A Nice Raw shirt and with a beard that has its own zip code. Rusev yells a lot and says Foley sucks as a GM. He asks for Stephanie McMahon to come out here instead so here’s the bigger boss to stick up for Foley.
Rusev threatens to call Vince or Shane but here’s Roman to interrupt as well. They insult each other a bit (as heels and faces do) and a USA chant starts up, which is exactly what they were shooting for here. Rusev wants to defend Lana’s honor so Mick makes the match tonight, albeit not for the title.
Sheamus vs. Sami Zayn
Before the match, Sheamus gets some promo time saying Sami is nothing to him because Sami talks a lot on Twitter but he’s just a Sheamus knockoff. Sami throws his shirt at Sheamus and they’re quickly brawling before the bell. Cesaro sits in on commentary as Sami forearms Sheamus in the corner. A headscissors only ticks Sheamus off and he sends Sami back first into the post as we take a break.
Back with Sheamus in control, as a heel should be when you come back from a break. A powerslam gets two on Sami as Cesaro talks about having an offer to go to Smackdown, which a talent like himself deserves. The ten forearms to the chest have Sami in trouble but he knocks Cesaro outside for the big flip dive.
Corey gets on Cesaro for talking about himself a lot and Cesaro brushes him off in a rather heelish manner. White Noise gets two for Sheamus and a Blue Thunder Bomb (Not Michinoku Driver Cole. Even Saxton can get that name right.) gets the same. Sheamus comes back with the Irish Curse but here’s Cesaro for a distraction, setting up the Helluva Kick for the pin on Sheamus at 10:14.
Rating: B-. They were sticking with the basics here but these two doing the basics means a good match. Cesaro teasing the heel turn on commentary is interesting, though I have little reason to believe WWE isn’t going to botch this as well. What’s not interesting is Cesaro vs. Sheamus all over again after Cesaro beat him twice in a row in recent weeks. There’s no logical reason to do the match again but that’s what we’re likely going to get anyway because that’s that we’re stuck with.
Chris Jericho and Kevin Owens say tonight’s match between Owens and Big Cass isn’t one on one because Jericho will have Kevin’s back. Jericho wants to know who certified Enzo as a G. Does he even have a license to be a G? They’re ready for their tag match at Summerslam too and tell Todd/Robert/Brian/Nathaniel so, despite the interviewer being named Tom. Now that was funny.
Post break Cesaro and Sheamus are brawling again when Foley comes in to break it up. Mick loves seeing them fight so we’re getting a best of seven series. AFTER CESARO HAS ALREADY BEATEN HIM TWICE. Egads this booking makes my head hurt.
Dudley Boyz vs. New Day
Non-title and there’s no Big E. at ringside. Before the match, Gallows and Anderson pop up on screen to say they’re trying to cure Ringpostitis. They’re doing everything they can to make sure their results aren’t tainted, including putting eggs in microwaves. They’re well endowed with the right equipment and the ball is in their court. The distraction lets D-Von take over on Woods to start but D-Von clotheslines Bubba by mistake. Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise on D-Von for the pin at 1:38.
Post match the doctors’ experiment was a failure and they need more test subjects. Kofi wants to know why these two think this is a game. Summerslam is their anniversary of being champions and there’s no way Anderson and Gallows are getting their hands on New Day’s rocks.
Rollins is still looking for Balor but no one has seen him. This includes Neville, who says Rollins isn’t ready for the Demon King. Seth yells a lot.
Nia Jax vs. Rachel Weaby
Rachel has blue hair, bright green and pink attire and a lot of tattoos. She’s been watching the Olympics and is ready to bring home the gold. Nia throws her around and knocks her off the top with a single shot to the face. Rachel is out cold but Nia brings her back in for the fireman’s carry into a powerslam for the pin at 1:05.
Here are Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar for their big talk before Summerslam. We see Orton and Lesnar trading sneak attacks in recent weeks. Heyman starts his catchphrase….and here’s Heath Slater to interrupt. Paul hopes that someone put Heath up to this because it’s really stupid.
All Heyman can do is laugh as Slater talks about Raw understanding what Smackdown can’t get. Apparently if Slater fights Lesnar tonight, he gets a job. Heyman just ignores him and goes into his promo about Orton but Slater cuts them off again. Heath knows he’s going to get hurt very badly but he has to do this for his kids. Brock actually talks because he can respect Slater fighting for his family. He actually wants to talk about Slater’s kids….who he doesn’t give a censored about.
Slater can walk out of here on his own two feet or stand here and keep ticking Brock off. Heath actually tries to fight and gets suplexed half to death, followed by the F5. Heyman puts on Heath’s sunglasses and praises his courage before laughing at the idea of Orton being a viper. It’s his job to hype up the match on Sunday but Lesnar won’t believe a word Brock says about Orton being a real threat. Brock is the box office at Summerslam and you should buy it to see a once in a lifetime athlete. This FINALLY wraps up with Heyman saying Brock is dominant.
That’s the problem with how Brock has been booked over the last year: if no one, including the reigning WWE World Champion, why in the world would I want to see him fight again? We know the ending because Brock can’t be touched so it gets a little boring. Like Heyman’s speech here, which just kept going and going as Heyman said the same thing he’s said for over a year.
Big Cass vs. Kevin Owens
Before the match, Enzo talks about cooking zucchinis, sausage, burgers, frankfurters and those two pieces of Canadian bacon. Cass shoulders Owens down to start but Kevin knocks him off the apron and into the post as we take a break. Back with Cass breaking up the Cannonball with a boot to the face but getting sent outside again. Owens can’t hit the apron powerbomb and gets backdropped, only to have Jericho jump Cass for the DQ at 6:23. Not enough to rate but Cass looked competitive here and that’s all he needed to do.
Enzo and Cass get beaten down post match.
Reigns is ready to fight no matter what Rusev has ready for him. Rusev jumps him from behind and sends Reigns into a steel wall.
Prime Time Players vs. Shining Stars
Yes they were feuding just a week ago but earlier tonight Titus apologized so they’re back together for a third run. Darren and Epico get things going before it’s quickly off to Titus for a slam. Primo comes in and dropkicks Titus in the knee to take over, only to have Titus splash him in the corner. We get Titus suplexing Darren onto Primo for two but Bob Backlund accidentally distracts Titus, who is knocked off the apron by Darren. The Clash of the Titus plants Young and Primo gets the pin at 2:42.
Jinder Mahal vs. Neville
Neville dropkicks him outside and hits a corkscrew moonsault to the floor. The Red Arrow doesn’t work yet and Mahal kicks him in the face for two. A chinlock goes nowhere and Neville kicks him in the head to set up the Red Arrow for the pin at 2:57.
The bosses casually mention that Jon Stewart will be at Summerslam when Rollins comes in to find the Demon King. Mick suggests that he try it in the ring.
Here’s Rollins to call out Balor and give him one more chance to show himself tonight. No one shows up so Rollins laughs it off and calls this match just another chapter in his book. He’s the face of Balor’s failure but something we can’t see (maybe a fan jumping the barricade) cuts Seth off. Seth keeps laughing and the lights start flickering and go out. Red lights flash and here’s Demon Balor for the first time in WWE.
The fans are getting into the arms pose now and that’s a very good sign. Rollins has no idea what to think of this and Balor, now with writing all over the right side of his body, gets in his face. The fight is on and Balor cleans house as he should in this case. Balor misses the Coup de Grace but hits a flip dive over the top to take Rollins down. The more I think about it, the more I like the idea of them having Demon Balor show up here. This match needs some buzz and this is going to do it.
We look back at Lana being sent into the cake last week.
Golden Truth vs. Gallows and Anderson
Gallows and Anderson are in their doctors’ coats. Truth gets kicked in the face to start but gets in the spinning forearm for a breather. It’s a double tag to Goldust and Anderson with Goldust hitting his bulldog and powerslam. Not that it matters as the Magic Killer ends Goldust at 2:18.
New Day comes in for the beatdown post match and it’s Gallows saving Anderson from a trombone to the testicles.
Charlotte talks down to Dana Brooke about wanting a taste of the spotlight. Dana failed her when it mattered the most but Charlotte will win the title anyway. Charlotte leaves Dana in tears.
Alicia Fox vs. Charlotte
Sasha Banks is on commentary. Fox hits some dropkicks to start but gets pulled off the middle rope for two. Natural Selection ends Fox at 1:25.
Charlotte calls Sasha to the ring but Dana takes out Sasha’s knee, setting up the Figure Eight.
Video on Braun Strowman.
Roman Reigns vs. Rusev
Non-title. Roman goes right at him before the bell and kicks Rusev in the face. The apron boot makes it even worse for Rusev but he posts Reigns as we go to a break. We’re joined in progress with Rusev working on Reigns’ bad left arm. Reigns gets choked on the ropes but comes back with a Samoan Drop for a breather. They head outside with Reigns being sent into the steps a few times but Rusev has the US Title taken away from him as we take another break.
Back with Rusev grabbing the mic and saying we’re all Russian wannabes. Rusev chokes Roman with his own ring gear, which isn’t a DQ for reasons that aren’t clear. Roman fights out and knocks Rusev off the top to set up a clothesline to put both guys down. The Superman Punch is countered and Rusev gets two off the spinwheel kick. Four straight middle rope headbutts get four straight near falls for Rusev.
The fifth finally misses and Reigns starts fighting back until a shot to the ribs slows him down. Rusev’s superkick is countered with a Superman Punch for a good near fall. The spear is countered with a few kicks to the head for two more but the Accolade is broken up as well. Another superkick to the back sets up the Accolade until Reigns basically collapses into the ropes. Back up and the spear pins Rusev at 20:39.
Rating: B. It was a solid match with both guys knowing how to do the power stuff but after seeing these two fight each other probably half a dozen times over the last year, I really don’t need to see them fight for thirty minutes on Raw and then watch them in a big pay per view match at Summerslam. Then again I don’t want to see Sheamus vs. Cesaro in four more matches (it’ll be seven) after seeing Cesaro pin Sheamus twice already. At least this was good, but I’m not wild on seeing a champion get pinned clean to set up the title match.
Overall Rating: D+. I really wasn’t feeling this one and a lot of that is due to how they’re booking things anymore. Now I really like the idea of the short, squash matches but you can mix things up a little more than that. Maybe have some of these matches go six to seven minutes instead of having six of them go under three.
The bigger problem here is that, aside from Balor vs. Rollins, I don’t care to see any of Sunday’s matches more than I did coming into tonight. How many of these people won’t be appearing on Sunday’s show anyway? Sami, Strowman, Nia Jax, and Neville aren’t likely to be at Summerslam but they get time (albeit very limited time) here because they need to fill in time. I’m hoping they get this stuff fixed soon because they really don’t know how to put a three hour show together at this point.
Results
Sami Zayn b. Sheamus – Brogue Kick
New Day b. Dudley Boyz – Trouble in Paradise to D-Von
Nia Jax b. Rachel Weaby – Fireman’s carry into a powerslam
Big Cass b. Kevin Owens via DQ when Chris Jericho interfered
Shining Stars b. Prime Time Players – Primo pinned Young after a Clash of the Titus from O’Neil
Neville b. Jinder Mahal – Red Arrow
Gallows and Anderson b. Goldust Truth – Magic Killer to Goldust
Charlotte b. Alicia Fox – Natural Selection
Roman Reigns b. Rusev – Spear
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Summerslam Count-Up – 2009: When Smackdown Main Evented
Summerslam 2009
Date: August 23, 2009
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17,129
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Josh Matthews
Not a lot has changed in the last year other than some names have risen up the card. Jeff Hardy is the Smackdown Champion and is defending tonight against the on fire CM Punk who is now a heel, bragging about how great he is due to being straightedge. We also have Orton vs. Cena #875 although only their second match here at Summerslam. It’s a decent looking card on paper so let’s get to it.
The opening video is set up like a movie theater, but DX takes it over by making shadow puppets on the screen. Shawn wins by putting up Abraham Lincoln. They finally break the projector but Shawn says he can fix it. He turns it into a DX highlight video but breaks the camera one more time.
Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Dolph Ziggler
Rey is defending after a long but awesome feud with Jericho. Ziggler pounds him down into the corner before getting two off a powerslam. Dolph throws him over his shoulders to the top but Rey bounces off with a moonsault press for two. Out to the floor and a cameraman is taken out via I think a hurricanrana. Back in and Ziggler catches (kind of) a rana off the top in a buckle bomb for two to take over.
We hit the chinlock before Dolph gets two off a side slam. The jumping elbow gets two and it’s back to the chinlock. Back up and Rey drop toeholds him into the corner before, only to have his head taken off by a clothesline for another near fall. A fireman’s carry gutbuster gets two and it’s back to the chinlock. Rey fights up again and hits a hard kick to the head for a near fall of his own. Dolph comes back with a dropkick to take down a flying Mysterio for two more as these covers are getting very hot.
Back up and Rey tries to roll up Ziggler’s body into a sunset flip but Ziggler falls onto him for two. A wicked clothesline gets two more for the challenger but Rey kicks him into 619 position, only to have Ziggler drop to the floor. Back in and the Fameasser gets two for Dolph but Rey gets the same off a sunset flip.
Rey hits a kind of tornado DDT for two more and an armdrag sets up the 619 but Ziggler avoids the springboard splash. Ziggler gets a quick near fall off the miss and the fans are split on who to cheer for. A kick to Rey’s head sends him to the apron so Ziggler loads up a top rope gutbuster, only to have Rey counter into a hurricanrana in mid air to retain the title.
Rating: B+. Excellent opener here with Ziggler being able to go move for move with one of the best high fliers of all time. It was clear that Dolph was going to be a big deal and this was a great example of why. Rey was on fire at this point but he would be derailed by a Wellness violation a few weeks later, forcing him to drop the title to John Morrison.
Jack Swagger and MVP are in the back. Swagger says his match with MVP tonight is a culture clash between the All American American and an ex-con. MVP is nothing but a stepping stone but MVP says he made some bad decisions. Tonight he’s teaching Swagger a lesson and the teacher is an MVP.
Jack Swagger vs. MVP
MVP jumps over Swagger in the corner and hits a quick clothesline for two to start. Swagger rolls to the floor to avoid the Ballin Elbow, only to be caught by a suicide dive. Back in and Swagger gets in some shots to the ribs to take over followed by a forearm to the back. MVP counters another shot with an elbow to the face, only to get caught in an abdominal stretch.
A hard clothesline puts MVP down for two and it’s off to a camel clutch. MVP stands up and breaks the hold with an electric chair for two. This is really basic stuff and the fans aren’t all that thrilled. Back up and MVP pops him in the jaw with a right hand, setting up the Ballin Elbow for two. A big boot in the corner sets up the Playmaker for the pin on Swagger.
Rating: D. The match wasn’t even that bad but it was very dull. Neither guy did anything special out there and it was about six minutes of boring, yet acceptable, wrestling. Swagger would go on to a world title the following year for reasons no one can quite fathom while MVP would do nothing of note for the rest of his WWE run.
Luke Perry is here.
Video on celebrities guest hosting Raw. Did we really have to relive this stupid idea?
Nancy O’Dell from Access Hollywood is here to talk about her ALS charity. No one cares. At all. She interviews Freddy Prinze Jr., one of the recent guest hosts. O’Dell sounds like any other celebrity who has never watched a wrestling show before.
Tag Titles: Chris Jericho/Big Show vs. Cryme Tyme
Jericho and Show (I can’t stand those combined names) are defending and the belts are unified at this point, meaning the champions have two belts apiece. Jericho says he and Show are the real celebrities here tonight and that’s about it. JTG (how is he still employed in 2013? Seriously, I want an answer to that) starts against Jericho and a nice flip neckbreaker gets two on Chris. A quick Walls attempt is countered and JTG hits a middle rope leg lariat for two.
Todd Grisham: “They bring the right kind of flava eh JR?” JR: “Flava? Like barbecue or cheddar?” Off to Big Show who knocks JTG into the corner and puts on a hard headlock. JTG gets up a pair of boots in the corner before bringing in the much bigger Shad Gaspard. Jericho charges in but gets caught in a gorilla press. The distraction is enough to let Show run Shad over to take control again. A hard chop in the corner puts Shad down and it’s back to the Canadian.
Shad gets in a jawbreaker but Jericho is smart enough to knock JTG to the floor before there’s a hot tag. Show puts on a full nelson but throws Gaspard down to bring Jericho back in. We hit the chinlock before Shad fights up and hits a powerslam to put both guys down. The hot tag brings in JTG but the fans don’t care at all. Everything breaks down and a clothesline sends Shad and Show to the floor. JTG is put in the Walls but makes the rope, only to be knocked out by Big Show to retain the titles.
Rating: C-. The match was ok but I don’t think anyone believed the titles were in jeopardy. Cryme Tyme was a fun team (on occasion) but most of the time they were jobbers to the stars. Jericho and Big Show at least gave the tag titles some fresh life for a few months so I can’t complain about them all that much. The match was standard stuff though.
Punk has a screenplay called the Jeff Hardy Story. In the movie, Jeff survives and beats Punk tonight in the TLC match. That’s as phony as everyone here in LA, where the only real person is Punk himself. Punk goes on a rant against America’s obsession with cool pop culture and says no one makes movies about him because he doesn’t support the Hollywood lifestyle. Punk is FEELING IT here.
Kane vs. Great Khali
Here’s a Wrestlemania rematch that no one was asking for. Kane is the heel here and has attacked Khali’s brother a few times before this. Khali shoves him into the corner to start and throws Kane out to the floor. Back in and Khali clotheslines him down but misses a legdrop, allowing Kane to hit a low dropkick for two. Both guys break up chokeslams and Khali takes over again.
He pounds Kane on the mat for two and hits a hard chop in the corner. Khali charges (and I use that word loosely) into a boot in the corner, allowing Kane to hit the top rope clothesline for two. We hit the chinlock before Khali makes a slow motion comeback and chops Kane down for two. Kane pulls Runjin Singh (Khali’s brother) in and the distraction lets Kane dropkick Khali’s knee. A bad looking DDT is enough for Kane to get the pin.
Rating: D-. Erg why do they keep doing these battles of the giants when they know they’re going to suck? Khali was getting so slow at this point and it was easy to see where the insults about his abilities were coming from. Kane would float around for most of the next year until he saved Undertaker and won the world title as a result.
Slash, Robert Patrick and Maria Menunos are here.
We recap DX vs. Legacy. Rhodes and DiBiase had been destroying HHH for months so he made a call to Shawn. HHH then had to get Shawn out of his job as a short order cook (don’t ask) and tonight is the big reunion match against Legacy.
Legacy vs. D-Generation X
DX comes in on a tank, trailing behind a bunch of soldiers on an Army jeep. Ok points for an AWESOME entrance. HHH starts with DiBiase as Ted fires off right hands in the corner. They have even less effect than you would expect so HHH suplexes him down and drops a knee for two. Off to Cody who walks into the high knee to the face from the Game and slaps Shawn as a result. Shawn gets the tag to a big pop but gets slapped again after running the ropes a bit.
Fed up, Shawn tackles Cody down but gets pounded in the face a few more times. Shawn comes back with a Thesz Press and right hands to another big reaction. The Band is tuned up but Cody bails to the floor and comes back in to a headlock. A belly to back suplex puts Shawn down and it’s off to DiBiase to keep up the punching motif. Ted slams him down to stay on Shawn’s back but Michaels gets a quick neckbreaker for a breather.
The hot tag brings in HHH to clean part of the house but Cody breaks up a Pedigree attempt. Everything breaks down and HHH backdrops Michaels over the top and onto Cody. Ted gets in a cheap shot on HHH to take over, meaning we’re in for a long one here. Legacy takes over o the Game in the corner and the double teaming begins. DiBiase hooks a long chinlock, but HHH keeps fighting to get to Shawn. See how easily that can be done? Instead of just laying on the mat until it was time for the comeback, HHH is constantly moving and trying to keep the fans alive. That’s such a lost art and it’s rather sad.
Anyway HHH suplexes out of the hold but Cody comes in with a DDT to stop the tag to Michaels. Off to a front facelock and of course this time HHH lays on the mat after I praised him for one of the few times after the year 2000. HHH powers out of the hold but DiBiase breaks up another hot tag. You know HHH isn’t going to stand for that for very long so he launches Ted over the top and out to the floor and finally makes the tag to Shawn.
House is really cleaned now with Shawn picking Rhodes apart. The atomic drop sets up the flying forearm but DiBiase breaks up the nipup attempt. Everything breaks down and HHH sends DiBiase into the stands as Cody goes up, only to miss a top rope elbow. Shawn loads up his own elbow but gets crotched down onto the buckle. He can still block a superplex though and now the elbow launches, only to hit Cody’s knee. Shouldn’t that hurt the leg a lot more than Shawn?
There’s no DiBiase to tag so Shawn gets up and puts on a Figure Four, only to have DiBiase make the save. HHH can’t hit a Pedigree as Cody takes him down and actually hits Cross Rhodes on Shawn for two. Now a Pedigree connects on Cody but DiBiase hits Dream Street (cobra clutch slam) on Shaw. HHH and Ted fight on the floor as both guys are down in the ring. Both guys get up at the same time and it’s Sweet Chin Music to knock Cody senseless for the collapsing pin from Shawn.
Rating: B+. Another excellent match here with all four guys working the tag team formula to perfection. Shawn continues to be able to time a comeback like no one ever could and HHH was clicking tonight. Legacy looked great and would actually beat DX in the next month’s match. I was surprised by how well the rookies looked here and DX actually had to sweat a bit here. I wouldn’t say they were in jeopardy but it wasn’t an easy win by any stretch.
ECW Title: Christian vs. William Regal
Christian is defending. Remember Matt Hardy vs. Mark Henry going 32 seconds last week? This is a quarter of that as Christian grabs the Killswitch as Regal is taking his robe off for the pin to retain.
Post match Regal’s heavies Vladimir Kozlov and Ezekiel Jackson lay out Christian so Regal can put on the Regal Stretch.
Video on the Summerslam festivities in Los Angeles.
We recap Orton vs. Cena. Orton has dominated the year and Cena is the latest guy to try to take the title. Not much here but do these two really need a backstory?
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton
Orton is defending. Cena takes him down with a front facelock but Orton counters into a hammerlock. Randy takes him into the corner and kicks at the ribs a bit, cuing a Cena comeback with rights and lefts. Orton comes back with an elbow to the face and his VERY slow stomping. This is the main criticism of Orton around this time: he wrestled in slow motion and it makes for very dull matches. The big knee drop to the chest gets two.
Cena comes back with some right hands but walks into the backbreaker for two. We hit the chinlock and the dueling chants begin. Cena finally powers up and initiates his finishing sequence. The Shuffle connects but Orton escapes the FU into the powerslam (NOT A SCOOP SLAM COLE, YOU STUPID STUPID MAN!) for two. Orton misses a knee drop but Cena’s shoulder block only hits air, sending him out to the floor. The Elevated DDT is good for two as Orton keeps things slow.
Cena gets in another shot and pops up top for the Fameasser, good for two. Orton grabs the ropes to block the FU and a double clothesline puts them both down. They slug it out with Cena taking over and speeding things up, but Orton shoves the referee for the LAME DQ. To be fair though it was the first fast paced thing he did all match.
Lillian, Rhodes Scholar that she is, calls Cena the new champion before saying Vince gave her word that the match restarts and if Orton gets DQ’d again he loses the title. This would be an entirely pointless bit that stopped the match cold. Back in and Orton takes over before whipping Cena into the steps. Orton slams him down and goes to get the title and walk out. We get the same announcement and the match continues again.
Back in and the STF, RKO and FU are all countered and Orton grabs a rollup with his feet on the ropes for the pin. As you might expect, we’re STILL not done as a second referee comes out and tells the first what happened. So on the third restart Cena puts on the STF but a “fan” runs in for a distraction, stopping things cold again. Cena walks around with his hands on his hips but Orton comes in and hits an RKO to retain the title. For real this time.
Rating: D. On top of the INSANE overbooking, the match was really boring with Orton being his usual slow self. These two would feud forever and trade the title back and forth. The matches would get better but people were sick of seeing them fight at the end. This match was a great example of how overthinking can screw up a match. Brett DiBiase was the fan but that was never acknowledged on TV and I don’t think it was ever addressed again.
We recap the main event. This is a pure culture clash with Jeff Hardy being the free spirit and Punk being the serious straightedge guy who lives a very strict life. Punk cashed in MITB against Hardy at Extreme Rules but Jeff won the title back two months later. This gets the music video treatment with a song featuring lyrics of “I don’t want to be like you.” Nice touch.
Smackdown World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk
TLC match here. They fight over a lockup to start until Punk takes him into the corner for some knees to the chest. He stomps Hardy down and throws him to the floor before grabbing the first chair. A shot to the ribs and back allows Punk to go up but Hardy makes a quick save. Hardy stomps him down in the corner and hits the slingshot dropkick before going up. This time it’s Punk making the save but Hardy sends him into the ladder to put both guys down.
Back up and Hardy loads up Poetry in Motion but Punk drops him onto the open chair to take over. A series of ladder shots to the back have Hardy in big trouble. Punk sends him to the floor and hits a suicide dive but misses a chair shot. Hardy sends him into the post and gets in a chair shot to the elbow to take over. This is a slower paced match so far which is usually the best way to go about TLC matches. Now Poetry In Motion hits against the barricade and Punk is in trouble.
Hardy puts him on a table but Punk moves before Hardy can splash him through it, sending Hardy down in a big crash. We get another ladder in the ring as JR calls this a carcinogenic match. Punk goes up but Jeff literally jumps over him to go after it himself, only to get caught in an electric chair, only to counter that into a sunset bomb to put both guys down. The champion goes up first but Punk shoves him onto the corner in a SCARY landing with Jeff’s leg hitting the rope.
Punk says on him with a superplex onto the ladder in another cringe inducing landing. Somehow Jeff snaps off a quick Twist of Fate but the Swanton hits knees. Punk hits the running knee in the corner but the bulldog is countered by Hardy throwing Punk over the top and through a table. Jeff starts to climb but Punk is back up to dropkick Hardy off the ladder. They head outside with Punk’s knees being sent into the steps, allowing Hardy to go NUTS on Punk with a chair.
Hardy loads up a table next to the ring and this Punk in the head with part of the announce table and a monitor. A chair shot puts Punk down again as Hardy is in full control. Jeff sets up the big ladder and hits an INSANE Swanton Bomb through Punk through the announce table. That looked NUTS but the crash was great. Both guys are checked on as the stretcher is brought out. Hardy is taken out but Punk is crawling towards the ladder. Jeff gets off the stretcher and goes after Punk, only to be kicked off the ladder in another big crash, giving Punk the title.
Rating: A-. This was an excellent war with a great story being told: Punk played it safe while Hardy lived for the moment and lost the title as a result. The Swanton spot looked amazing and it was the last straw for Hardy as he just couldn’t keep getting up from all these crashes. Awesome match here and a great bit of storytelling.
Punk stands over Hardy with the title in the air and the lights go off. A gong strikes and the lights come up with Undertaker in Hardy’s place. He hits a huge chokeslam on Punk and poses on the stage to end the show.
Overall Rating: B. There’s some bad stuff on here but the good stuff far outweighs it. Its biggest problem is the Orton vs. Cena match which was slow and dull leading up to the STUPID ending. The other big matches delivered though and the opener is excellent. The show is worth watching, but pop in the Cena vs. Orton match from Breaking Point instead. Good show here that could have been a classic with a better Raw Title match.
Ratings Comparison
Dolph Ziggler vs. Rey Mysterio
Original: A-
Redo: B+
Jack Swagger vs. MVP
Original: C
Redo: D
Chris Jericho/Big Show vs. Cryme Tyme
Original: D+
Redo: C-
Kane vs. Great Khali
Original: D+
Redo: D-
D-Generation X vs. Legacy
Original: A
Redo: B+
William Regal vs. Christian
Original: N/A
Redo: N/A
John Cena vs. Randy Orton
Original: B-
Redo: D
CM Punk vs. Jeff Hardy
Original: A
Redo: A-
Overall Rating
Original: A-
Redo: B
The Cena vs. Orton match carries or sinks this show depending on how you look at it.
Summerslam 2008
Date: August 17, 2008
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 15,997
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker
For the first time in a few years, it feels like we’ve got a big card tonight. It’s a double main event with Undertaker vs. Edge inside the Cell and Cena vs. Batista for the first time ever. I remember being very fired up for this show when it first aired so hopefully it lives up to the hype after some very lackluster entries the last few years. Let’s get to it.
The theme this year is that this is the ultimate summer blockbuster. I’ve heard worse. This shifts into your standard opening video.
It’s another good song here with Ready to Roll by Jet Black Stare.
We run down the card because you might have ordered the show blind or something?
MVP vs. Jeff Hardy
Jeff is in the middle of the biggest story of his life, as he’s been chasing the world title all year. This resulted in one of the highest number of buys ever for the Rumble, yet he’s opening the show here in a midcard match. Makes sense in WWE world I guess. There isn’t much of a story here other than MVP has been messing with Jeff lately. Hardy starts with two right hands to send MVP to the floor and there’s a whip into the barricade. Back in and a slingshot legdrop gets two for Jeff and we hit the armbar.
MVP makes the ropes and the referee has to keep pulling Jeff out of the corner. Jeff eventually gets free and charges right into a snap belly to belly for two. MVP kicks him in the back and puts on something like a crucifix hold before rolling over into a camel clutch. Off to something like a side leg bar but MVP eventually lets it go. Jeff goes tot he apron but MVP knocks him out of the air to break up a springboard, getting two.
Jeff is put in the Tree of Woe so MVP picks him up and slams the top of his head into the mat. That’s a new one. MVP loads up something like a Gory Bomb but Jeff slips down the back and neckbreakers his way to freedom. The slingshot dropkick in the corner is countered by two feet to Hardy’s chest but Jeff avoids the Drive By kick in the corner. A sunset flip gets two for Jeff and the Whisper in the Wind puts MVP down again. Cue US Champion Shelton Benjamin to distract Hardy from the Swanton, allowing MVP to move. The Drive By kick is good for the pin on Jeff.
Rating: B-. Summerslam almost always has good openers and this is a good example. I never got into MVP like a lot of people did but this was a solid performance from him. Shelton had been involved with this feud as an accessory on Smackdown but it’s not exactly enough of a connection for the run-in here to work. Good match though.
Glamarella (Santino and Beth) is ready for their mixed tag winner take all match with Kofi and Mickie. Santino talks about the unibrow and how the tabloids love the new name for the two of them. Maria, Santino’s ex, is doing the interview so we get a stare down between the girls.
Intercontinental Title/Women’s Title: Glamarella vs. Mickie James/Kofi Kingston
Mickie and Kofi have both belts coming in but the winning team walks out with all the gold. Kofi is still relatively new here and has only won the IC Title once, as opposed to his 89 or so reigns now. The girls get things going with Beth easily overpowering James. Mickie comes back with some quick dropkicks for two before it’s off to Santino. James easily monkey flips him over before it’s off to Kofi for some of his usual stuff. The jumping punches in the corner have Santino on the floor where Beth yells at him.
Kingston loads up a charge but hangs on, only to send Santino jumping into Beth’s arms. Kofi pulls him back in but gets his neck snapped across the top rope for one. Beth beats on Kofi for a bit before bringing Santino back in for his basic offense. A suplex sets up a chinlock but Kofi fights up and butts heads with Santino, allowing for the double tags to the girls. Mickie cleans house and clotheslines Beth down before snapping off her hurricanrana on Beth. Kofi comes in and misses a charge like an idiot but the MickieDT puts Santino down. Beth decks Mickie and hits the Glam Slam for both titles.
Rating: D+. The match was nothing special and could have been on any given Raw. I don’t know of a better way they could have gotten the title on Santino though so you can’t fault the for trying. Kofi would begin his long float in the midcard which would last for the next several years other than a cup of coffee in the upper midcard. The girls looked good here but that’s about it.
Santino gets on Beth’s shoulders to celebrate.
Video on Shawn Michaels’ eye injury. He may not be able to continue wrestling due to the eye and for the first time he’s listening to his doctors. If they tell him it’s too bad, he’s walking away.
Here’s Shawn with his wife for the announcement. Shawn talks about how his doctors have re-evaluated his eye and it looks like he’s going to have to walk away. He remembers his first Summerslam and since then the fans have let him become the Heart Break Kid and Mr. Wrestlemania. He’s also the guy who screwed Bret Hart (wasn’t that Hebner?), the man who formed DX, the man who lost his smile and the man who retired Ric Flair. Now though he can be a full time husband and a full time father…..and here’s Jericho, the man who injured Shawn’s eye.
Jericho, currently an awesome heel rocking a suit, says that he’s not accepting this. Shawn isn’t leaving due to an eye injury on his own terms. He wants Shawn to admit that he’s walking away because of what Jericho did to him and nothing else. Shawn gets serious and says to get out of the ring but Jericho wants to hear that Shawn is leaving because of him. Shawn needs to admit it to his wife, his children, himself and to Jericho. All of Shawn’s accomplishments don’t matter because the epitaph of his career will be that he was forced to walk away because of Chris Jericho.
Shawn says he’ll admit it and tell his wife and kids what Jericho wants to hear on one condition: if Jericho goes home to his wife and kids and tells them that he never could be Shawn Michaels. BURN! Shawn goes to walk away but Jericho swings, only to hit Shawn’s wife, knocking her out cold. What a man that Shawn is, ducking when his wife was behind him. You know it’s on at Unforgiven now and the fans are eating this stuff up. This was the feud of the year in 2008 and there’s no arguing that.
ECW Title: Mark Henry vs. Matt Hardy
Matt earned the title by doing something not important enough to explain to us. These two teamed up on ECW with Mark attacking his partner, injuring his ribs. Mark hits a quick forearm to the back but misses a charge, allowing Matt to hit the Twist of Fate, drawing in Henry’s manager Tony Atlas for the DQ 30 seconds in.
Jeff Hardy comes out to make the save and the Hardys suplex Henry.
We recap CM Punk vs. JBL. Punk cashed in the MITB case a few weeks ago on Raw to bring the World Heavyweight Championship to Raw. JBL bullied Punk and called him a footnote in wrestling. It’s a basic story but sometimes that’s the best idea, which is the case here.
Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. John Bradshaw Layfield
Punk was basically a glorified midcarder at this point but his time would come. JBL shoves Punk into the corner to start and a hard shoulder puts the champion down. Punk comes back with a flying forearm to send him to the outside and a suicide dive fires the fans up even more. Back in and a high cross body gets a one count for Punk but another shoulder block puts him down. Punk tries to go up, only to be taken down by a middle rope fall away slam for two.
JBL goes after the back and we hit the bearhug. This is a basic big guy vs. little guy formula so far but again there’s nothing wrong with that at all. Punk fights out of it as the fans are getting rowdy. We stay on the back as JBL continues his basic power offense. Back to a side grip on Punk’s ribs on the mat before we go old school with an abdominal stretch. Punk fights out and hits the knee in the corner/bulldog combo but the ribs give out on the GTS attempt. JBL takes him back down and drops some elbows for two.
The clothesline misses and Punk starts firing off his strikes, hitting a high kick to the head for two. A springboard clothesline is countered into a powerslam for two and JBL yells at the referee a lot. Another clothesline attempt from JBL is countered with a leg lariat to put both guys down. They hit heads as JBL fell and Punk is busted open from the back of his head. Layfield blocks another knee/bulldog combo by putting Punk on the buckle for a belly to back superplex. There much be something really wrong because Punk pops up and hits a quick GTS to retain. Oh yeah there’s a BIG blood spot from where Punk was laying on the mat.
Rating: C+. This needed a few more minutes but with a legit cut that bad you have to go home in a hurry. Obviously Punk was going to win the entire time so it’s not like the ending was changed that badly. What we did get was good stuff with a basic story that is going to work time after time and did so here.
We recap HHH vs. Great Khali. Again not much to say here: HHH won the Smackdown Title and dominated for a few months until Khali was one of the few challengers he had left. Again it’s your basic hero vs. monster but the question coming in is can HHH Pedigree Khali. He tries for weeks leading up but never could pull it off.
Smackdown World Title: HHH vs. Great Khali
The Game is defending. HHH is a very tall man in his own right and is probably a foot shorter than Khali. The champion pounds away but has to stick and move to not get killed. That doesn’t blow HHH’s skirt up though so he tries the Pedigree. Khali easily grabs HHH and hits his Punjabi Plunge (two handed chokeslam finisher) but doesn’t cover. Instead he loads up his Vice (head squeeze) but HHH kicks at the long legs to escape. A chop block puts Khali down and out to the floor where his manager Runjin Singh tries to calm him down.
HHH, ever the bright guy, charges at Khali again and is chopped down with ease. Back inside and Khali pounds away with some elbows in the corner to drop the champion. The fans tell Khali that he can’t wrestle as he puts one foot on HHH for a cover. Off to a nerve hold by the challenger followed by a slam and legdrop. Back to the nerve hold for a bit before HHH fights up and hits the facebuster. It doesn’t put Khali on the mat but it does tie him up in the ropes.
Khali will have none of this being in trouble though as he lifts up his boot to kick HHH down before freeing himself from the ropes. Back up and HHH tries the Pedigree again, only to be backdropped out to the floor. A hard chop puts HHH down again and as they come back in there’s the vice grip again. HHH almost breaks the hold but Khali gets it back on for a few more seconds. A charge misses the champion in the corner and he FINALLY hits the Pedigree to retain the title.
Rating: C+. This match, while slow, was a great example of psychology in a wrestling match. HHH knew that there was only one move he could use to hurt Khali and give him a chance for the win so it was the only thing he tried for most of the match. This was HHH working around someone and it worked quite well as HHH is a very talented wrestler, which unfortunately is often forgotten.
We recap Cena vs. Batista. Cena accidentally punched Batista in a tag match on Raw, triggering a brawl between the two. It became exactly what it should have been: a showdown between the two guys who had carried the company for the last three years. This was one of the few dream matches they had built up for years and belonged as a PPV main event. Cena said he had been wanting this match for six years because he just didn’t know if he could beat Batista.
John Cena vs. Batista
Batista shoves Cena back to start before grabbing a headlock. Cena comes back with a quick slam and Batista stops to take a breather. A big clothesline puts Cena down and a Jackhammer gets two. Cena comes right back with a suplex of his own for two but Batista puts him down with a side slam. A quick FU attempt is countered and Batista goes after the leg. Off to a Figure Four on Cena (just like Flair, he puts it on the wrong leg) who can’t power out so we get a rope grab instead for the break.
Back up immediately and Cena throws Batista to the floor in something resembling an FU before collapsing down. Back in again and Cena fires off the shoulder blocks and the ProtoBomb to set up the Shuffle. The FU is countered again and Batista kicks him in the face to put both guys down. Batista drives shoulders into the corner and catches him in the spinebuster to put Cena down. Cena backdrops out of the Batista Bomb and hits a DDT on the leg to set up the STFU. Batista FINALLY crawls over and gets a rope to shock Cena.
Batista gets up and escapes another FU to hook a rear naked choke of all things. Cena fights out of a hold as well, only to get caught by a spear for a VERY close two. They’re in full on main event mode here and it’s getting very awesome. Cena counters a powerslam into an FU but can’t follow up due to exhaustion. It’s finally good for two so Cena goes up with nowhere else to go.
Batista is up as well and they slug it out on top with Batista being knocked to the mat. Cena tries the Fameasser but gets caught in a Batista Bomb…..for two, plus a neck injury that required three months off (I seem to remember that happening earlier but WWE said it was here). Not that it matters as Batista goes into Animal Mode and ENDS Cena with a Batista Bomb for the pin.
Rating: A-. This is exactly what it was supposed to be: the two top guys in the company going to war with only one left standing. It’s a great fight in the vein of Rock vs. Austin from back in the day. Almost no complaints here and it felt like a major match on a major stage. What else can you ask for here?
The Cell is lowered.
We recap Edge vs. Undertaker. They fought for the world title at Wrestlemania with Taker winning the title (duh) before Edge’s wife Vickie Guerrero stripped him of the title for using the Hell’s Gate, which was declared illegal. Edge won the title in a TLC match and Taker left for a bit, but Edge got caught cheating with his wedding planner (Alicia Fox). Vickie reinstated Taker and set up the Cell match here tonight. Edge got Mick Foley to try to find out how to beat Undertaker in the Cell (even though Foley lost) and was told to bring back the Rated R Superstar inside of him. Edge beat up Foley and was back.
Edge vs. Undertaker
It takes two minutes and forty five seconds from Taker’s gong to him slamming the Cell door closed. Edge fires off right hands in the corner but walks into a big boot. We head outside the ring so Edge can be rammed into the steel. A series of headbutts puts Edge down and Taker whips him hard into the steps. Vickie and company (La Familia) is watching in the back.
Back inside now but with steps involved as well. The Snake Eyes drop Edge on the steps but he blocks the big boot and sends Taker into the steps instead. Edge hits a spear to a seated dead man but doesn’t go for a cover. Instead he grabs a table but stops to knock Taker out with the steps to the head. Edge gets another table but doesn’t slide either of them into the ring. The table is set up on the floor instead but Edge has to fight out of a chokeslam attempt instead of sending Taker through it.
Now it’s chair time with Edge dropping Taker again. Here’s a third table but the first one actually brought into the ring. Edge pulls out a ladder as TLCHIAC continues. Another chair shot puts Taker down as we have a ladder, a table and steps in the ring. Three of the four things are used as Edge puts Taker on the table and picks up the chair before climbing the ladder. He drives the dead man through the table in the same spot he used on Foley a few weeks ago. Nice touch.
It’s only good for two though so it’s time for a Conchairto, only to have Taker grab Edge by the throat. Edge breaks free but gets caught in a big right hand to put him back down. A bit boot sends Edge into the cage and Taker crushes his head with the steps for good measure. Edge posts Taker to get a breather and uses the steps as a launching pad to knock Taker through the Cell. Taker’s arm is bleeding a bit.
They fight at the announce table before Edge is sent into the barricade to put him down again. Taker misses a monitor shot to the head, allowing Edge to crack him in the head with it instead. In the big spot of the match, Edge runs the announce tables for a big spear to Undertaker, putting both guys down. Edge can’t follow up so Taker wins a slug out and they head back inside, drawing some moderate booing. Back in and a ladder to the face gives Edge control again and a chair shot gets two.
Taker counters the spear into a chokeslam for a close two and Taker is getting frustrated. The Last Ride is countered by a low blow and an Impaler gets two. Back up and Taker loads up the Last Ride again but wants it through the tables on the floor. Edge slips over the top and hits the spear for a very close two. Now the Last Ride connects but Edge gets out at two.
Taker loads up a tombstone off the steps but Edge counters into an Edge-O-Matic onto the steps for two. Now Edge loads up Old School but Taker crotches him down and chokeslams him through the tables on the floor. Back in and Undertaker spears Edge down and breaks a camera over his head. A Conchairto crushes Edge’s skull and the tombstone finally ends this.
Rating: A. THIS is how you blow off a feud. Edge was completely destroyed at the end here with Undertaker hitting every big move he had and Edge not kicking out of them at all. These two had some great action all year long and the Cell is the best way to blow the whole thing off. Having it as a TLC match inside the Cell was fine and it made for a great main event.
Taker leaves but Edge very slowly gets up. The big man goes back inside and sets up the ladder before lifting Edge onto it. Taker throws in another ladder and climbs up next to Edge so he can throw the Canadian down through the mat. He raises his arms up and lights the hole on fire to end the show in a corny moment.
Overall Rating: A-. This was pretty awesome all around. The opener was good, one match didn’t count, the title matches were both decent to good and the main events both rocked. You could say the tag match wasn’t very good but it’s less than six minutes long and Santino makes it entertaining enough. This is one of the better shows they’ve had in the series and it’s well worth checking out.
Summerslam Count-Up – 2007: Cena vs. Orton Only On Pay Per View
Summerslam 2007 Date: August 27, 2007
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 17,441
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Joey Styles, Taz
It’s still an awkward period for the company as there isn’t much going on and they’re sort of just going through the motions. The big things tonight are the rise of Randy Orton and the return of HHH to face King Booker in the Game’s first match since December. Other than that there’s nothing noteworthy on the show. It’s just such a dull time for the company and it shows in their major events. Let’s get to it.
The opening video comes off like a long TV show intro. Mysterio is back tonight and Batista gets another world title shot. The main event is covered a bit as well and they get ready to throw it to the arena but the video is hijacked by a $6 Million Man bit about rebuilding HHH. He’s already hijacking things.
Kane vs. Finlay
Kane has banged up ribs due to a recent attack by Finlay. Apparently Finlay knocked some coffee onto Kane and didn’t apologize. I’ve heard worse reasons for a brawl. Kane starts fast and uppercuts Finlay down in the corner and drops him with a back elbow to the jaw. The ribs are already bothering the big bald but he pops Finlay in the chin with more uppercuts. Finlay gets a boot up in the corner but Kane pops him with a right hand so hard it sends him to the floor.
Back in and Finlay gets in a shot to the bad ribs to knock Kane to the outside. A backsplash to the bad ribs is good for two and Finlay puts on a half crab. This has been very physical so far. Kane finally powers up and hits an enziguri to escape. A big boot drops Finlay and some clotheslines in the corner stagger him. Kane hits a one armed side slam which is a bit of a stretch given the rib injuries. JBL is doing a great job on commentary here, talking about how a rib injury affects how you move in the ring.
The top rope clothesline connects but he can’t follow up. Kane misses a charge in the corner and gets dropped by a clothesline. Cue Hornswoggle who runs from Kane, allowing the big man to hit a big boot on Finlay. Horny is thrown back inside but shoved down. Kane tries the chokeslam on Finlay but the ribs give out, allowing Finlay to hit a DDT for two. In a classic heel move, Finlay goes to unhook the buckle and uses the distraction to go for his club but the referee catches him. Horny throws in another club but Kane kicks out at two. Finlay misses a charge into the corner and the chokeslam is good for the pin.
Rating: B-. That’s probably high but I was really liking this match. It was a good choice for an opener with both guys working hard and pounding on each other with some solid force. The fans were into it too and popped quite well for almost everything in there. Kane sold the ribs well and the fans liked his comeback. Nice choice for an opener here.
All the GM’s are in the back at a party when Vince comes in and wants to know why there are no women here. That’s a good question actually. Vince says the mother of his illegitimate son will be here tonight. Santino comes in and suggests he’s the illegitimate son but Regal yells him away. MVP comes in as well to complain about Teddy Long and issue an open challenge to Matt Hardy for anything other than a wrestling match. He leaves and Regal suggests that he himself is the son. Now Regal leaves and Coach suggests it might be Regal, but Vince apparently doesn’t like English women.
Rey Mysterio is coming back! Tonight! Why did we need a promo for this?
Intercontinental Title: Mr. Kennedy vs. Carlito vs. Umaga
No real story here other than Umaga is defending and these two are at the Intercontinental level. Kennedy tries to negotiate and gets punched in the face by Umaga. Carlito loads up the apple but gets punched as well, giving the champion complete control so far. The challengers fall out to the floor and finally start going after Umaga at the same time, though it has the same result. Carlito gets in a cheap shot from behind to send Umaga to the floor and Kennedy rams the champion into the steps.
Back in and Carlito gets two off a rollup but gets caught using the ropes. Everyone in this is either a heel or close enough to call them one. Carlito hits a springboard back elbow to the jaw for two on Kennedy but gets caught in a Stroke for no cover. Instead Kennedy goes after Umaga but gets pulled to the floor instead of getting in a cheap shot. Umaga hits a middle rope headbutt on Carlito but Kennedy saves Carlito from a charging Samoan.
Carlito knocks Kennedy to the floor and gets two on the champion before asking for an alliance with Kennedy. The champion won’t be double suplexed but easily hits one on the other guys. Umaga is back up first to clean house and a spinning Rock Bottom gets two on Kennedy. A superkick puts Carlito in the corner and a running hip attack crushes him again. Kennedy sends Umaga to the floor and hits a rolling senton on Carlito, only to have Umaga come back in with the Samoan Spike on Kennedy for the pin.
Rating: D+. The match wasn’t bad but this could have been on any given episode of Raw. Umaga was fine for a monster and would soon be slain by Jeff Hardy. Kennedy was supposed to be in a huge story coming up but a Wellness violation derailed those plans. As for Carlito…..there’s just nothing interesting to say about him. He exists and that’s about it.
Undertaker is coming back. Again. Seriously there’s at least a five hour DVD of just his returns.
We recap Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero. This time it’s a more standard story: Chavo is jealous of Rey’s success and injured Rey’s knee, setting up this match for revenge. Chavo even dressed up as Rey and wrestled a match to destroy a jobber’s knee.
Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero
For some reason Rey’s torso is covered in silver paint. The fans are all over Chavo to start as you would expect. The heel goes right after the knee of course but Rey slips away before the damage can be done. They do the gymnastics routine out of a test of strength as the fans chant for Eddie. Rey’s paint is already coming off, making him look really stupid. Chavo tries to bend the knee around the ropes but is sent to the floor for a big dive from Mysterio.
Back in and Rey goes up but gets caught in the Tree of Woe which is similar to what hurt his knee in the first place. Guerrero goes right for the knee and asks him if he quits. Off to the Brock Lock (Chavo bends the knee around his neck) but Rey counters into a headscissors. Chavo stays on him though and hooks another leg lock until Rey FINALLY gets out with a kick to the head.
He tries for 619 but the leg gives out, allowing Chavo to put on a half crab. Mysterio finally gets to the ropes but the knee is still too hurt to follow up. This time it’s Chavo going up but getting pulled down into the Tree of Woe so Rey can go after the knee. The paint is entirely off Rey’s chest now, making it look like he’s been fixing up his house.
Rey hits a seated senton off the apron before hitting a hard kick to the head for two. Chavo catches a springboard moonsault press but gets countered into a tornado DDT for two. Chavo comes right back with a Gory Bomb for two followed by two of the Three Amigos. Rey spins out of the third and takes Chavo into the ropes for the 619 and the springboard splash for the pin.
Rating: C-. The match was ok but at the end of the day there was no doubt that Rey was winning at all. It wasn’t boring but I liked last year’s action more. The story this year was better, but the paint and the obvious ending didn’t do it any favors. Chavo doesn’t work that well as a heel whatsoever.
King Booker says he’ll beat HHH tonight. That’s hilarious.
Divas Battle Royal
Beth Phoeix, Torrie Wilson, Victoria, Layla, Brooke, Kelly Kelly, Kristal Marshall, Michelle McCool, Mickie James, Jillian Hall, Melina, Maria
The winner gets a title shot at Candace Michelle at some point in the future and you don’t have to go over the top rope. It’s a Divas battle royal so you know this is going to come down to about three people as potential winners. It’s a huge brawl to start with Brooke (Miss Tessmacher) being sent out early. Jillian Hall eliminates Maria and those great little shorts of hers. Layla, who looks much better with curly hair, is out and the loud screaming continues.
Kristal actually knocks Victoria out and Michelle puts Kristal out a few seconds later. Kelly is thrown out and Mickie helps Michelle eliminate Jillian. Melina dumps Mickie and we’re down to Torrie, Melina, McCool and Phoenix. Melina screams a lot and takes Torrie down but gets clotheslined out by Michelle. Torrie and McCool go after Beth but Wilson is quickly tossed. Beth easily tosses for the win.
Rating: D. There’s just NOTHING to talk about in these things. It’s all about the girls looking good and while that worked, it doesn’t make for an interesting eight minutes of “action.” Beth would go on to dominate the division for several years as the wrestling was phased out in favor of models who MIGHT wrestle a match here or there. Then they brought in a second belt for some reason that didn’t work. Less than nothing of value here, other than looks.
Here’s MVP for his challenge to Matt Hardy as Beth’s music is still playing. He says no one bought a ticket to see the girls (likely true) so here’s the US Champion to entertain you. MVP talks about growing up drinking beer but now he drinks the finer beverages. Tonight though, he’s lowering himself to challenge Matt to a beer drinking contest. This was the latest in a LONG series of challenges before these guys actually had a match. It went on for over six months before Matt actually won the title at Backlash. They would even win the Smackdown Tag Titles in a few days.
Anyway Matt comes out for the contest and sounds drunk before the first can is opened. Matt says MVP isn’t better than anyone and is proud to be a common man. He knows he can out drink MVP, but tonight he isn’t going to try. A few weeks back MVP brought in a substitute for a boxing match against Hardy: former world champion Evander Holyfield.
The fans immediately get what’s going on and here’s Austin to drink for Matt instead. Gee good thing he was in the building and Matt knew it would be a beer drinking contest. Cole says this is fair. JBL: “THIS IS NOT FAIR! EVANDER HOLYFIELD IS JUST EVANDER HOLYFIELD!!! THAT IS FREAKING STONE COLD!” Austin does warmups before the contest and Stuns MVP before they drink the first beer. It’s hard to argue with these nostalgia moments as the fans went NUTS for Austin.
Wrestlemania 24 is in Orlando.
Cryme Tyme comes in to see the GM’s and Vince and suggest they might be Vince’s son. They start talking about that money money yeah yeah and since this is WWE, it turns into a dance off with Regal stealing the show as always. Cue Ron Simmons for the obvious punchline.
ECW Title: CM Punk vs. John Morrison
Morrison is defending, having taken the title from Punk at Vengeance in what was supposed to be Benoit winning the title. John is freshly changed over from Johnny Nitro so he’s still rocking the poetry. Punk takes him down by the legs to start but John has him in a chinlock a few seconds later. They trade hiptosses until Punk slams him down to take over. Punk dropkicks Morrison down onto the apron but John blocks a suplex back in with a neckbreaker onto the apron.
Morrison pounds away at Punk and puts on something vaguely resembling a Tazmission. A knee to the ribs gets two and it’s back to the chinlock. Back up and Punk misses the backfist but gets two off a rolling sunset flip out of the corner. A spinning cross body out of the corner gets the same and there’s the running knee I the corner. The bulldog, of course, doesn’t work but a powerslam gets another near fall for Punk.
Morrison comes right back with a backbreaker and neckbreaker for two but CM counters the flip neckbreaker (Morrison’s finisher) into a clothesline. A moonsault of all things gets two for Punk and he crotches John on the top rope. Punk clotheslines him down for two and a high kick has Morrison in trouble, but he manages to block a middle rope hurricanrana and put his feet on the ropes to retain.
Rating: C. Again this match could have been on any given episode of ECW on Sci-Fi, which is exactly where it was when Punk won the title nine days later. Why they didn’t just do that here is anyone’s guess, but I don’t think anyone really gave much thought to what was going on with ECW anyway. The match was pretty good but it needed more than seven minutes.
We recap HHH vs. Booker, which doesn’t have much of a story to it. King Booker was going after Lawler and Ross for not respecting him enough and HHH, noted defender of the little guy, is coming back to defend their honor. The hook is King vs. King but in other words, HHH is returning from injury and we need to feed him someone with some credibility.
HHH vs. King Booker
HHH’s return is of course over the top and not as good as the one in 2002. Booker gets in a cheap shot to start but HHH comes back with right hands. A clothesline puts Booker on the floor and a second clothesline does the same. Back in and Booker gets in some forearms but walks into the facebuster for two. Queen Sharmell finally helps her man out and Booker goes after the injured leg.
HHH counters a slam and takes out Booker’s leg before putting on a Figure Four. Sharmell interferes again to break the hold and a quick kick to the face gets two for Booker. Back up and they slug it out with HHH taking over by sending Booker to the floor. HHH whips Booker into the steps and gets caught in a spinebuster back inside for two. The Pedigree is escaped and the Book End gets two. The Houston Hangover misses though and the Pedigree is good for the pin.
Rating: D+. One former world champion squashed, dozens to go. HHH is back and the match was never in doubt at all. The match wasn’t even eight minutes long and yet again Booker looks like a goon against HHH, albeit with roles reversed from Wrestlemania XIX. Nothing to see here and HHH didn’t look like anything great.
We recap Batista vs. Khali but there isn’t much to say. Khali won the title in a battle royal due to Edge being injured. Batista challenged him to try to slay the beast. Khali is using a vice grip around this time.
Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Great Khali
Khali immediately takes him into the corner and chops him down. Some elbows to the head put Batista down again and there’s a hard clothesline for good measure. All champion so far. Batista falls down to the floor and gets back in for the big chop for two. Big Dave is sent shoulder first into the corner and there’s a nerve hold to really keep up the suck. The hold stays on for over a minute and a half, drawing a boring chant.
Batista finally hits a jawbreaker but Khali chops him down for two. Cole even acknowledges the boring chant. Batista blocks the vice grip to finally wake the crowd up a bit before hitting a spinebuster. The champion escapes the Batista Bomb and catches him coming off the middle rope in the Punjabi Plunge for two. Then to really screw over the fans, Khali’s manager sends in a chair and Khali whacks Batista for the DQ.
Rating: F. Oh come on. They’ve GOT to be screwing with us right? This wasn’t even seven minutes long and over a minute and a half of that was in a nerve hold. The fans were absolutely right in booing the match but the worse sign is they cheered for the comeback. It was clear they cared about Batista and wanted to see him win but the solution is to make them wait so Batista could win the title next month in a stupid three way.
Batista destroys Khali with the chair post match. Even JBL rips into Khali for such a lame ending.
Vince and Coach are wondering where the aforementioned woman is when Regal pops in to say she’s here. Say it with me: here are Mae and Moolah. Apparently Mae wants to give Vince another illegitimate son and you know what’s coming: Mae nearly molests Vince to death until Regal and Coach drag her off. Vince seems to like it. COMEDY!
We recap the main event. Cena has been champion for eleven months and Orton has been rising up the card as the legend killer. He was named #1 contender on Raw and spent the next several weeks RKOing Cena.
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton
They lock up to start with Cena taking over via a headlock. A hard shoulder puts Orton down and the fans aren’t pleased at all. Cena takes him down with a headlock takeover but Orton fights up quickly. Back up and Orton hits a shoulder and headlock takeover of his own to take over. The fans hate Cena as he tries to grab the STFU but Orton makes it to the rope and pops Cena in the face to a big reaction. Orton was a mega heel coming into this match so the fans cheering him is very bizarre.
Orton pounds away even more but Cena comes back with a bulldog for two. A forearm to the back of John’s head puts him right back down for two though and momentum shifts again. Cena tries a leapfrog but Orton stops on a dime and blasts him in the head instead. Randy knocks him from the apron onto the announce table as the head trauma continues. Back in and Orton takes Cena down with a chinlock as the champion is in trouble.
Randy even lays on his back to crank even more but Cena fights up again, countering with a belly to back suplex to put both guys down. Back up and Cena misses a charge, going head first into the buckle to shake up the head again. Orton stomps away on Cena including a hard shot to the back of the champ’s head. A knee drop misses Cena’s head but Orton takes him down with a powerslam for two.
Back to the chinlock for a bit before Orton snaps off a gorgeous dropkick for two. We hit chinlock #3 but this time the suplex is countered into a headlock takeover to keep Orton in control. Orton hooks a bodyscissors to go with the chinlock but John fights to his feet and powers out of the hold before initiating his finishing sequence. The ProtoBomb puts Orton down but the Shuffle is countered by Orton’s over the back backbreaker. Orton’s Elevated DDT (Cena’s feet hanging on the middle rope) gets a very close two count and Randy is getting a look in his eyes.
Orton’s RKO (jumping cutter) is countered but Cena charges at Randy, only to go sailing over the top and out to the floor. Randy rams him into the steps and Cena is in big trouble. Back in and Cena gets in a quick shot to stagger Orton but gets crotched as he goes up. A superplex is blocked though and Cena hits the top rope Fameasser, but Orton blocks the FU. A shot to the head puts Cena down again but his running punt to the head misses. There’s the STFU but Randy grabs the rope. Back up and the RKO takes Cena down for two. They get up again and the FU hits to retain Cena’s title.
Rating: B-. While this wasn’t the epic showdown they were hoping for, it definitely was a good fight. Orton going after Cena’s head and not worrying about the consequences for the sake of winning the title made him seem ruthless but Cena never giving up was exactly what you would expect from him. Good stuff here but not great.
Overall Rating: D+. The show isn’t bad but I’m looking for more out of Summerslam than this. Orton vs. Cena was the match of the night and that’s just ok. That’s the best way to sum up most of these matches: just ok. Only two matches crack nine minutes here and that’s just not enough time for a lot of them. The show isn’t worth seeing, but brighter days were ahead.
Summerslam Count-Up – 2006: I Never Know What To Say About This One
Summerslam 2006 Date: August 20, 2006
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 16,168
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Joey Styles, John Bradshaw Layfield
This is an interesting show as a lot has changed since last year but WWE is still in the same kind of situation: the shows are coming and going and not a lot is changing. The shows aren’t bad, but there’s nothing that feels like required viewing. This year we have DX vs. the McMahons, Edge defending the Raw Title against Cena, Batista challenging King Booker for the Smackdown Title, Flair vs. Foley in an I Quit match, Hogan vs. Randy Orton and the first ECW Title match in WWE PPV history. The card is stacked but nothing on here feels must see. Let’s get to it.
The opening video is about DX taking over the company with their sophomoric jokes. The other matches get some lip service as well.
Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero
Guerrero claimed that Rey was leeching off the Guerrero name, which he totally was but Guerrero is still playing the heel here. We get videos on Eddie’s relationships with both Rey and Chavo, conveniently ignoring Rey vs. Eddie from last year. Apparently Chavo is coming out of retirement for one night only. The brawl is on fast and JBL is WAY into it already. Chavo hits a quick uppercut and catches a standing Lionsault into a powerslam position, only to have Rey armdrag him out to the floor.
Mysterio misses a plancha to the floor and Chavo hits a big dive of his own to take over. Chavo shouts that it’s his blood instead of Rey’s as JBL calls this the biggest comeback since the resurrection. Rey charges into the corner but Chavo drops him face first onto the buckle to put him down again. Chavo does the Eddie dance, drawing the crowd into the Eddie chant. The masked dude is knocked to the floor and then face first into the buckle to keep him on defense.
Chavo puts him on the top rope and tries to powerbomb Rey to the floor but Rey fights out to avoid death. They facejam each other down to the mat and both guys are in trouble. Back up and Rey gets two off a springboard cross body. A hard kick to the head gets the same for Rey before he hurricanranas Chavo into the 619. The seated senton misses and Mysterio hurricanranas both guys out to the floor.
Chavo takes control and sends Rey back in but here’s Vickie to yell at him. Rey dives off the apron with something the camera misses to take out Chavo and we head back inside. Chavo hits two of the Three Amigos as Vickie is screeching at them to stop fighting. Rey hits the Three Amigos and goes up top but Vickie keeps shouting at him to stop before accidentally crotching him down. Chavo hits a brainbuster and the frog splash for the pin.
Rating: C+. The match was entertaining enough but the bleeding dry of Eddie’s corpse is well beyond old here. Seriously, they were fighting over who was really defending Eddie’s honor. It was fun stuff but the Vickie screeching is getting already getting annoying. She’s been around seven years. How is that possible?
Booker is holding the title with a maniacal look in his eyes. He rants in a British accent for a bit and says he and Sharmell are the most powerful couple in wrestling. This brings in Edge and Lita who just happened to be standing off camera when Booker said that. They debate how important they are and make a wager: if Booker loses he has to be Edge’s servant but if Edge loses he has to kiss Booker’s feet.
This is a good example of what I mean when I talk about the show looking too structured. Why were Edge and Lita right there to respond to those comments? It comes off as so fake and set up in advance that it kills whatever air of realism the show has. Have Booker say they’re the powerful couple, then have Edge and Lita come in later in the show. Same amount of time spent, same result, doesn’t look forced. Why is this so complicated?
ECW Title: Big Show vs. Sabu
Big Show is defending after Sabu beat Van Dam in a ladder match this past week. It’s extreme rules, which is a rarity for these title matches anymore. Sabu starts fast by swinging a chair and gets a quick one count off the Arabian Facebuster. The chair is set up in the middle of the ring but Big Show drops Sabu face first onto the steel. Big Show crushes the chair with his boot and chops Sabu down with ease.
We hit an early bearhug but Sabu pokes the eyes to escape. A springboard is caught in a fallaway slam from Big Show to send Sabu to the outside. The small one grabs a chair to blast Show in the face before dropkicking it into Show’s face. Sabu it too banged up to immediately cover so it’s only a one count. With nothing else working, Sabu loads up a table in the corner and hits a tornado DDT for no cover.
Sabu finally knocks him through the table off a springboard from the chair but Show pops up and electric chairs Sabu down. A Vader Bomb crushes Sabu and Show brings in two sets of steps. He bridges a table across them but his chokeslam is countered into a DDT through the table. Sabu sets up another table but charges into a chokeslam through it for the pin.
Rating: D. I don’t care. Seriously that’s the first thing that came to my head. This was less than nine minutes and the ending was never in double at all. At least a third of the match was spent setting up the next spot, especially near the end. The early days of WWECW with the old ECW guys were just torture to get through as it was clearly trying to recreate magic and it wasn’t anything of note. Dull match here and it would be several months before ECW picked up.
Layla won the Diva Search earlier this week.
The Divas welcome Layla to the company. These stupid girl power segments got old fast. Everyone gets on her and then say they’re all kidding. Layla is dragged into the shower and spanked for her initiation. Everyone is clothed so this goes nowhere.
We recap Hogan vs. Orton. Hogan is a legend, Orton is the legend killer, I think you can do the math. There was a stupid bit with Orton hitting on Brooke thrown in which went nowhere.
Randy Orton vs. Hulk Hogan
Hogan has a bad leg coming in, meaning he’s perfectly normal. Hulk easily shoves Orton down out of lockup to start before running him down with a shoulder block. The bandana goes into Orton’s face before Randy grabs a headlock. Hogan fights out with a top wristlock as we’re still going very slowly so far, much to Hogan’s liking. Randy finally gets in some shots to the face to put Hogan down, thereby making him the biggest heel in the world.
Hogan fights Orton off in the corner and sends him into the buckle. Almost all Hogan so far which continues as Hogan pounds down right hands in the corner. He bites Randy’s forehead and pokes him in the eye to keep us firmly in the mid-80s. Hogan rakes his back and pounds away on the mat before threatening the referee with a right hand. Orton holds the ropes on an Irish whip and pulls Hogan to the mat to work on the knee.
Back in and Orton cannonballs down on the leg before doing a short form of the circle stomp. A chop block puts Hulk down again but he ducks/collapses to avoid a high cross body. Hogan pounds away but misses the big boot, allowing Orton to dropkick him down. The RKO connects for three but Hogan’s foot was on the ropes. Orton argues with the referee, Hulk Hulks Up and the legdrop ends it.
Rating: D. Well let’s see: the booking was out of the 80s, Hogan broke a sweat for maybe a minute, and Orton was pinned clean by a 50+ year old man in about eleven minutes. This is the opposite of last year with Shawn as Michaels didn’t have much to gain from a win. Orton on the other hand could have ridden this win for months, but instead we get Hogan’s last WWE match (which you couldn’t have known at the time) as a tribute to him, complete with the 1985 formula all over again. Not a fan of this but you had to know it was coming.
We look at a big party yesterday which is exactly what you would think it was. This was also the announcement for WWE 24/7, which was nowhere near as cool as it sounded.
Melina isn’t sure if Foley can beat Flair but he freaks out on her, saying he’ll do it. This was an awkward on screen relationship.
Ric Flair vs. Mick Foley
In something else that was kind of awkward, these two traded shots at each other in their books with Foley saying Flair wrestled the same match for years and Flair calling Foley a glorified stunt man. Tonight is an I Quit match and it’s all about respect. Foley jumps Flair in the corner and pounds away before hitting the running knee to the head. A running trashcan shot to the head has Flair in early trouble and it’s already Socko time. Flair won’t give up so Foley says he’ll suffer.
Foley wraps barbed wire around the sock but Flair grabs Mick’s crotch to block it. We’re not even two minutes into this and we’ve already had a crotch grab. A low blow puts Mick down and Flair wraps the barbed wire sock around his hand for some chops. Ric sends Foley knees first into the steps but Foley rams him into the announce table to get a breather. Foley pulls out a barbed wire board and blasts Flair in the back with it to make Naitch scream.
We head inside again and the fans want fire. Flair is busted open (duh) so Foley rubs the barbed wire over the cut for good measure. A barbed wire board to the head and the shoulder have Flair in even more trouble but he tells Foley to kiss something instead of quitting. Foley spreads out the thumbtacks and slams Ric down onto them in a scary looking but perfectly safe spot. Think about it: the tacks are what, half an inch long? All they’re going to go into is fat so while it’ll hurt, there’s no real danger to the spot. It’s like being stung by a bunch of bees.
Anyway Flair still won’t quit so Foley brings in the barbed wire ball bat to cut at Flair’s head even more. Flair hits his second low blow to escape before sending him shoulder first into the post. The ball bat to the shoulder has Foley in big trouble as Ric goes into old school brawler mode. Foley won’t quit so Flair threatens to kill him by cutting out his heart.
A third low blow has Foley on the apron, allowing for Ric to knock him off the apron and onto the concrete. Foley is apparently out cold so medics and Melina come out to check on him. The trainer says it’s over and the bell rings. That’s not good enough for Flair though and he sends Foley back in to rub the ball bat over Foley’s face again. He runs the barbed wire over Mick’s unconscious eyes and Melina throws in the towel to end it. Wait that’s STILL not good enough for Flair because Foley has to say it. Ric threatens Melina with the ball bat and Foley quits to save her.
Rating: B. This was one heck of a bloodbath until Melina had to get involved. I get that they didn’t want either guy to quit but dang man, did we really need Melina out there? Like I said it never was a good fit on screen and would end with Melina screwing over Foley for no apparent reason. Good match, but Flair flat out doesn’t need to be doing this at his age.
Vince, Shane and Armando Alejandro Estrada (Umaga’s manager) make fun of Foley until Vince asks if they have Umaga’s support tonight. Armando says si.
Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. King Booker
Booker is defending and Batista never lost the title, only being stripped due to injury. This is his first major match since December/January. Booker’s wife Sharmell reaches Vickie levels of annoying by saying ALL HAIL KING BOOKER about 18 times on the way to the ring. Feeling out process to start with Booker taking him into the corner and slapping him across the face. Batista easily shoves him across the ring to prove a point as things are starting slowly.
The champion grabs a headlock but completely misses a spin kick, allowing Batista to counter into a powerslam for two. Booker tries to bail with Sharmell but Batista doesn’t even let him get close. Back in and Booker blocks a Batista Bomb by snapping Batista’s neck across the ropes to take over. We hit a chinlock less than four minutes in and the fans aren’t pleased. Back up and Batista hits a sloppy belly to belly suplex for two but Sharmell sends in the scepter for a cheap shot, giving Booker more control.
Booker goes after the arm, which is the injury that kept Batista on the shelf for so long. That makes too much sense though so it’s off to a regular chinlock. Batista finally gets up and crotches Booker on the top before hitting some weak clotheslines. They head to the floor with Booker sending him into the barricade to take over. A missile dropkick gets two on Big Dave but the ax kick misses. Batista Jackhammers him down for two and busts out a full nelson slam of all things. He loads up the Batista Bomb and Sharmell comes in for the lame DQ.
Rating: D. Well at least it wasn’t that long. These two had horrible chemistry together so of course they had two more PPV matches until Batista finally took the title at Survivor Series. The ending sucked, the match sucked, Batista looked as slow as Hogan out there, and the fans were bored by the match. Sounds like it needs a sequel to me.
Post match Batista “destroys” Booker, which translates to him not being able to get him up for a Batista Bomb until Booker clearly pulls himself up. Again, this feud went on for three more months.
Jeff Hardy is coming back tomorrow. Why bother announcing it when you can have a big surprise like that?
DX talks to someone we can’t see. They tell him how much Vince praised Umaga, calling him the REAL monster in WWE. They leave and whoever was in there bangs on the door.
We recap DX vs. the McMahons. This feud started with Shawn vs. Vince but HBK recruited HHH to help him out. DX destroyed a bunch of Vince’s stuff and made fun of him, basically getting on the nerves of everyone over 17 years old.Vince and Shane brought in everyone imaginable to help them but DX dispatched them easily because they’re both Hall of Famers and they were fighting jobbers to the stars. Umaga was the only one who could beat them one on one, making those matches the only interesting parts of the entire feud.
D-Generation X vs. Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon
Vince and Shane head back to the entrance and send out the Spirit Squad as the first line of defense. Superkicks, backdrops and Pedigrees abound, getting rid of the Raw Tag Champions (the cheerleaders) in less than fifteen seconds. DX beat the Spirit Squad about five times in this whole thing but never won the tag titles. I never quite got why.
Next up are Kennedy, Finlay and Regal who do a bit better thanks to Finlay’s club but only last about 40 seconds. Now it’s Big Show to really challenge DX. Why all nine guys didn’t come out at once is never really addressed. The three midcarders take down HHH on the floor, leaving Shawn alone with Show. A cobra clutch backbreaker and the Log Roll knock Shawn silly as HHH is destroyed. Now the McMahons come to the ring and there’s the opening bell.
Vince slams Shawn down to start and it’s off to Shane for some dancing. He peppers Shawn with left jabs and hits a big right cross to puts him down. HHH is still down from a chokeslam through the announce table. Vince comes back in for something like a clothesline to the ribs and fires off elbows in the corner. A double back elbow puts Shawn down and HHH is finally remembering what planet he’s on. Shane of course slides to the floor to knock him down again, which is pretty smart.
Shane hits a backbreaker on Michaels and it’s back to Papa McMahon. There’s a double elbow but HHH is on his feet. Shane, again, wisely baseball slides him onto the other announce table. The McMahons bust out the Demolition Decapitation and the Hart Attack of all things, complete with signature Bret pose. They even hit a bad looking Doomsday Device but Shawn pops up at two and fires off right hands. Vince sneaks in with a shot to the back and down goes HBK again. Shawn scores with a double clothesline and everyone is down.
HHH is back up on the apron and actually takes the hot tag. Adrenaline kicks in and house is cleaned with a high knee and a neckbreaker to Shane. Clotheslines take both McMahons down and there’s a spinebuster for the young one. Shawn drops the elbow on Vince and hits a Cactus Clothesline to take Shane out.
Here’s Umaga to superkick Shawn and hit a quick Samoan Spike to HHH. This brings out Kane as the guy DX was talking to so he can fight Umaga to the back. Shane can only get two on the Game so Vince punches the referee. Shane loads up a Coast to Coast but Shawn superkicks him out of the air. A trashcan shot to Vince sets up Sweet Chin Music and the Pedigree for the pin.
Rating: B-. That’s about as high as they can get and there’s nothing wrong with that. The booking was as smart as you could get since there might not be two guys in the company that could be a legitimate threat to DX in a straight match so making it eleven on two to start was all they could do. The rest of the match is your usual tag team formula match and that’s all they could do here. The fans popped for the ending too so I can’t complain much.
Wrestlemania 23 is in Detroit.
We recap Edge vs. Cena. Edge won MITB last year at Wrestlemania and cashed in on Cena at New Year’s Revolution nine months later. After some title trading with Van Dam and Cena, Edge wound up with the belt on Raw, setting up the one on one showdown here tonight.
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge
Cena is the hometown boy tonight. If Edge gets disqualified he loses the title. Cena charges him into the corner and the booing begins. John pounds away and gets one off a back elbow and a belly to belly suplex. Edge avoids a charge to send Cena shoulder first into the post and out to the floor. It’s kind of early for that spot. Back in and Edge beats on Cena with basic strikes before knocking him off the apron and into the barricade.
Cena makes it back in at nine but Edge immediately drops an elbow on his back for two more. John makes a comeback with right hands as the fans are booing even louder now. A quick fisherman’s suplex gets two on Edge but he sends Cena over the top and out to the floor for the third time. Back in again and Cena misses a cross body to put him down again. Why it puts Edge down as well isn’t clear.
We hit the chinlock for a good while until Cena breaks the hold with pure power. Cena hits a knee to the chest but walks into a big boot for two. Edge goes up top and fights off Cena so he can hit a top rope clothesline for two. Off to a camel clutch but Cena again powers out of it. Both guys are down so Lita sends in a chair. Edge picks it up before throwing it down out of fear in a cute bit. Cena initiates his finishing sequence but the FU is countered into the Impaler for two.
Edge goes up again but has to escape the FU off the ropes into an electric chair but Cena gets two off a victory roll. A middle rope cross body is rolled through into the FU but a Lita distraction makes Cena drop Edge. The champion is sent into his chick and Cena gets a close two off a rollup. A double clothesline puts both guys down until Edge rolls over for two.
The Canadian is up first but the spear is countered into the STFU. Lita tries to come in with the belt but Edge waves her off and gets the rope. The referee has to drag Cena off, allowing Lita to load up brass knuckles on Edge’s hand. Cena grabs the FU anyway but Lita comes in, only to be thrown on top of Edge in a double FU. How that isn’t a DQ isn’t clear but Cena flips her to the mat, allowing Edge to knock him out with the knuckles to retain the title.
Rating: B-. This took some time to get going but the ending was great. Edge winning is an interesting concept and they would go with the same idea next month when Cena beat Edge in Edge’s signature match in his hometown. The match wasn’t all that good though as it felt like they were just killing time until the end, which makes for a dull match.
Overall Rating: C. Right in the middle is about perfect here as there are almost equal amounts of good and bad. The interesting things about this show are the match lengths. Usually there are some very short matches and one or two longer ones. Here there’s only one match under nine minutes and the longest is the main event which isn’t even sixteen. That makes for a show where there’s nothing huge to save the bad stuff and everything is almost equal in length, meaning you can weigh almost everything the same. The show is definitely watchable but skip Booker vs. Batista.
Ratings Comparison
Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero
Original: C+
Redo: C+
Big Show vs. Sabu
Original: C
Redo: D
Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Orton
Original: B
Redo: D
Mick Foley vs. Ric Flair
Original: B-
Redo: B
Batista vs. King Booker
Original: D
Redo: D
Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. D-Generation X
Original: C-
Redo: B-
Edge vs. John Cena
Original: C+
Redo: B-
Overall Rating
Original: C+
Redo: C
Other than Hogan, not a lot changes here. This show pretty much is what it is.
Cruiserweight Classic – August 10, 2016: Watch This Show
Cruiserweight Classic Date: August 10, 2016
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Daniel Bryan
We’ve hit the second round as the field has shrunk to sixteen competitors. This is where things start to get more interesting as a lot of the people who came in with no chance have been eliminated, leaving us with matches between more realistic options. Only two matches have been announced for tonight but there could be extras to go with them. Let’s get to it.
We open with a music video recap of the first round.
Opening sequence.
The announcers talk about the tournament for a few moments.
Corey Graves previews tonight’s show.
Gran Metalik is here to represent Mexico.
Tajiri has been around for a long time but wants to make one more run.
Second Round: Gran Metalik vs. Tajiri
Mexico vs. Japan. They trade some fast armdrags and legsweeps to start and it’s an early stalemate. Tajiri takes him to the mat for a reverse Koji Clutch but gets reversed into an ankle lock. Now it’s time to trade rollups as they’re mirroring each other so far. Metalik sends him outside but Tajiri runs inside again and hits a quick kick to set up a chinlock. That goes into a headscissors on Metalik before it turns into a slugout with Metalik getting the better of it off an enziguri.
Tajiri goes outside again and that means it’s time for Gran to walk the ropes into a flip dive for a huge crash. Back in and a top rope elbow gets two on Tajiri but he goes back to the kicks for a break. Metalik gets put in the Tree of Woe for the basement dropkick. A powerbomb gets two more for Tajiri before he grabs a sunset flip but goes to the side, leans back and pulls on Metalik’s head for a submission attempt. Metalik escapes and ducks another kick, setting up the Metalik Screwdriver (Samoan Driver) to advance at 10:54.
Rating: B. This was exactly why you bring in someone like Tajiri: he has a resume, the fans know who he is and he can still go. Metalik is a stranger to most of these people but now he’s beaten a former multiple time Cruiserweight Champion to give him some credibility with people not so familiar with him. The booking and structure of the match were both perfect and the execution being strong was a bonus. Very well done here.
Cedric Alexander is here to prove he’s the best.
Kota Ibushi is a star in Japan and wants to be one in America as well.
Second Round: Kota Ibushi vs. Cedric Alexander
Japan vs. America. They start fast as well with Ibushi knocking him to the mat but Cedric is smart enough to not run in again. Back up and Cedric grabs an armbar for a bit before Ibushi comes back up and turns on the speed again. A sunset flip gets two for Kota before he stops playing and just blasts Cedric in the chest with a big kick.
Kota heads to the apron and chops Cedric in the face (Isn’t that a slap?) to set up a springboard dropkick. A moonsault to the floor misses though and Cedric nails a running flip dive. Back in and a great looking top rope clothesline gets two on Kota. They chop it out again before Kota hits the loudest dropkick I’ve heard in years. Ibushi fires off even more rapid strikes and gets two off a standing corkscrew moonsault.
An exploder suplex sends Cedric to the floor and now Ibushi hits the big moonsault dive to the floor. Fans: “FIGHT FOREVER!” A Michinoku Driver gets two for Cedric and he one ups himself by landing on his feet to counter a super Frankensteiner. Now it’s a brainbuster for two more, almost immediately followed by a hard kick to Kota’s head for an even closer two. Kota drops him on his head with a German suplex and the Golden Star Powerbomb sends Ibushi to the second round at 14:56.
Rating: A. WOW that was fun. This match felt like it was going on for the better part of an hour and I was stunned when it wasn’t even fifteen minutes long. Cedric has won me over here as I wasn’t the biggest fan of his ROH stuff but was blown away by his performance tonight. Absolutely incredibly action packed match here and a complete spectacle from bell to bell. Check this match out for sure, which isn’t something I’ll often say.
Bryan previews next week’s matches but we cut back to the arena where Cedric gets a standing ovation. Fans: “PLEASE SIGN CEDRIC!” Alexander starts crying and HHH comes out to congratulate him as well. He gives the fans a thumbs up which might mean they get what they want.
Overall Rating: A+. The first round grew on me over time but this was the show where they jumped to the next level. It’s rare enough to see one amazing match like this and we got two of them in about forty five minutes. I was amazed by this stuff and the final could be the match of the year almost no matter what combination we get. Watch this show and keep watching
Results
Gran Metalik b. Tajiri – Metalik Screwdriver
Kota Ibushi b. Cedric Alexander – Golden Star Bomb
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Summerslam Count-Up – 2005: Shawn Michaels Is Kind Of A Jerk
Summerslam 2005
Date: August 21, 2005
Location: MCI Center, Washington D.C.
Attendance: 18,156
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman
Tonight is the first show in a long time with a special attraction main event. Tonight’s main event is the returning Hulk Hogan vs. Shawn Michaels in a match billed as legend vs. icon. Other than that we have the first Summerslam with the new generation on top with John Cena defending against Chris Jericho and Batista defending against JBL. Let’s get to it.
The Navy color guard presents the flag and Lillian Garcia sings the National Anthem. She may stumble over a lot of announcements but she can sing the heck out of that song.
The opening video is about Cena vs. Bischoff with Eric’s surrogate Chris Jericho. This would be the 185th attempt to recreate Austin vs. Vince, each one less successful than the previous. It covers the rest of the matches too, focusing on Hogan vs. Shawn of course. The theme song is Remedy by Seether so we have another good song this year.
Never mind as the main song that will be played in the arena is some stupid hip hop song.
US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan
Jordan, the most worthless wrestler I can think of at the moment, is defending. He took the title from Cena of all people and defended it over the course of the summer. In some of the smartest booking you’ll ever see to open a show, Benoit shoves him into the corner, snaps off a German suplex and puts Jordan in the Crossface for the submission and the title in 25 seconds.
When a guy is so bad that you can’t trust Chris Benoit with him on live TV, this is the right move. Benoit would go on to show how fast the match was by timing how long it took him to do things like go to the bathroom or have a cup of coffee, each of which lasted longer than the match. Brilliant stuff here and the crowd is instantly on fire.
Vickie Guerrero, not yet a character, begs Eddie to calm down about Mysterio and Rey’s son Dominic. Eddie says Vickie doesn’t get it but she tries to talk him down. He interprets this as Vickie thinking he can’t beat Rey and throws her out.
We recap Matt Hardy vs. Edge. Matt dated Lita in real life but Edge stole her away (both on screen and in real life) while Matt was out with a knee injury. Hardy was released from WWE while Edge and Lita became an on screen couple. This led to an AWESOME angle where Matt, who had been rehired VERY quietly, showed up on Raw and attacked Edge from behind. He did it again but was arrested, shouting that he’d be at Ring of Honor. Matt was finally brought back full time, setting up a white hot feud with Edge. They made the feud feel as real as any I can remember in a long time before it was to a degree.
Edge vs. Matt Hardy
This is during Lita’s early heel phase and DANG does it work for her. The fight starts on the floor with Matt in control before heading inside for a bell. Hardy grabs a choke but Edge gets into the ropes. Back to the floor for a bit before Edge gets in a right hand inside to take over. Edge spears him off the apron and out to the floor in the spot made much more famous against Mick Foley.
Back in and Matt hits some HARD lefts and rights before going into the corner to rain them down. Edge steps forward and drops Matt face first on the post (with Matt clearly pulling himself forward to hit it correctly), busting Hardy open. Edge goes after the cut….and the match is stopped in less than five minutes. We get a good shot of Matt’s head and the cut is shown to be just a step above nothing, making this ridiculous. I’m guessing the idea was due to a head injury (not a real one mind you) but it makes Matt look like a complete joke.
Rating: C+. This was fun while it lasted but the length and ending crippled it. Matt was on fire coming in but he would be made to look like the jobbiest jobber of all time during the feud with Edge. Eventually Edge would send him to Raw and keep Lita, ultimately winning the world title in a few months. This was more or less it for Matt as far as being a big deal.
We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio. Oh this is a fun one. They were tag team champions in the spring but Eddie started to get paranoid that Rey was better than him. Rey beat him at Wrestlemania in a friendly match and Eddie was set off. He turned on Rey and started going after Rey’s 8 year old son Dominic.
Uncle Eddie said he had a story to tell Dominic but Rey kept stopping Eddie from telling it. They had a match at Great American Bash where if Eddie won he could tell the story but if not he had to stay quiet. Eddie lost, but told the story anyway: he’s Dominic’s actual father but gave him to Rey because Eddie was in no condition to be a father. Then he wanted custody of Dominic, so there was one solution.
Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio
Here’s the solution: “The following contest is a ladder match for the custody of Dominic!” That line summed up the entire feud and is a famous line today. Eddie looks at Rey to start before kneeing him in the ribs to get things going. A hard belly to back suplex puts Rey down but he comes back with a monkey flip to send Guerrero to the floor. Rey is sent straight into the steps and then the ladder as Eddie maintains his early control.
Eddie slides in the ladder and goes up but a springboard dropkick takes Guerrero down. Another ladder is brought in but Rey dropkicks it into Eddie, sending both the ladder and Guerrero to the floor. A great looking springboard seated senton takes Eddie down but Rey is too banged up to immediately climb. They slug it out on the ladder with Eddie taking over but they botch the first big spot of the match: Eddie tries a sunset bomb but Rey falls off a second late, meaning he falls on Eddie instead of with him.
Back up and the ladder crushes Rey in the corner before Eddie brings in a second ladder. Rey is sandwiched between the ladders so Eddie can hit a slingshot hilo in a painful looking spot. Guerrero goes up but Rey sets the other ladder up like a ramp to get to the top. Eddie is backdropped onto the ladder ramp, sending both ladders and both wrestlers crashing down to the mat. Rey goes up one more time but has the ladder dropkicked out from under him in the second crash in 90 seconds.
Eddie lays a ladder on the top rope and drops a charging Rey chest first onto the steel. Guerrero goes up but Dominic gets in and shakes the ladder to stop him. Eddie gets in his face and shouts that he’s the new daddy but Rey stops him from punching the kid. Mysterio moves the ladder against the ropes and sends Eddie into it for the 619. Rey Drops the Dime on the ladder onto Eddie and goes up but gets caught in an electric chair. As they’re about to fall, Rey spins around and slips down Guerrero into a powerbomb.
Rey slowly climbs again but Guerrero kicks the ladder away and catches the falling Rey in another powerbomb. In a smart move, Eddie puts the ladder over Rey before climbing up and grabbing the briefcase. Since he’s a heel in a ladder match though, he takes FOREVER to work the simple clip, allowing Rey to kick the ladder over and pull Eddie down. Rey can’t follow up though and gets caught in Three Amigos with the third on the ladder. Eddie goes up again and here’s Vickie, which makes me think the slow climb was a missed spot where she was supposed to come out. She shoves him down and Rey gets up the ladder for the win.
Rating: B-. This was good but the botches hurt it a lot. The other major problem here is the whole thing is so silly. It’s really hard to get into a match with the prize being a custody of a kid. Are we supposed to believe that Eddie is going to win and presumably abuse the world’s stupidest looking eight year old? I’ve seen far worse but this wasn’t a great match by any stretch. Eddie of course would be gone in about two and a half months but he would beat Rey in a cage match in about ten days.
Rey hits Guerrero with the briefcase post match.
Jericho says the time is now for him to become WWE Champion. After Cena loses tonight, he’s nothing more than the flavor of the month. I mean, Jericho beat Rock and Austin in one night to become the first Undisputed Champion. Tonight Jericho will win the WWE Championship and Eric Bischoff can have a champion to be proud of.
Eugene vs. Kurt Angle
Yep he’s still around. This is for Angle’s gold medal and Eugene has Christy Hemme as a cheerleader. Eugene won some Olympic challenge by lasting three minutes against Angle, so this is no time limit. They really couldn’t find something better for Kurt? Angle easily takes him to the mat to start but Eugene comes back with a spinebuster to LOUD booing. Angle takes his head off on the People’s Elbow attempt for two and the fans go nuts. A BIG release German suplex puts Angle down and it’s time for some knees to the face.
Kurt sends him into the buckle but Eugene Hulks Up and does his goofy punching and a Rock Bottom for two. A Stunner gets the same and Eugene is pulls invisible straps down to set up an ankle lock on Angle. Kurt easily gets up and hits the Angle Slam followed by the ankle lock for the submission.
Rating: D. They booked a five minute squash at Summerslam for KURT ANGLE??? Seriously? This was a horribly dull match and Eugene had no business being in there. He barely even acts like his original character anymore and is really just Hacksaw Jim Duggan minus the patriotism. Thankfully Kurt would move on to face Cena for three months straight after this.
Angle stands on a chair and has the medal placed around his neck.
The Divas are in bikinis and washing a limo. It has the Presidential logo on the door and Vince comes out. “Hey, why not?” THANKFULLY this went nowhere.
Undertaker vs. Randy Orton
Wrestlemania rematch and I think that’s all you need to know. Orton immediately bails to the floor before being slapped right in the face. Taker misses a right hand in the corner but runs Orton over with a shoulder block. Off to a headlock on Randy followed by a big boot, leaving Orton with a dazed look in his eyes. Taker grabs a key lock but Orton armdrags him off the top to break up Old School. Orton hits a HARD right hand to the face, earning him a launch into the corner and rapid punches from the dead man.
Orton gets up a boot in the corner but charges out straight into a big boot for two. The jumping clothesline puts Orton down for two more and a running knee in the corner has Randy in big trouble. Randy manages to dodge a running big boot in the corner but can barely follow up due to the beating he’s taken. As Taker gets back in from the apron Orton gets in a shot to the leg to take over.
Orton cannonballs down onto the leg and wraps it around the post before putting on a basic leg lock in the ring. A knee drop to the face gets two before Orton takes him into the corner to wrap the leg around the ropes. Randy powerslams him down for two and it’s off to a leg lace. Taker fights out of it and rams Orton’s knee into the mat but Randy comes right back with a chop block to the front of the leg. More cannonballs onto the knee have Taker in bigger trouble but the big man kicks him out to the floor.
The legdrop across the apron has Orton in more trouble and Taker does a one legged Old School. Uh Dead Man, there’s more to selling than just limping before you do a move with no issues. Taker hits Snake Eyes but he can’t run fast enough for the big boot, allowing Orton to dropkick him down. The RKO is countered but Taker has the tombstone countered twice and Orton hits his backbreaker for two. Taker rolls through a high cross body and hits the chokeslam but a “fan” comes in and the distraction lets Orton hit the RKO for the pin. It’s Bob Orton (Randy’s dad) of course.
Rating: C+. This was ok but the ending was stupid. It doesn’t hold a candle to their Wrestlemania match but the rematch inside the Cell at Armageddon was WAY better. Bob Orton didn’t add much to this feud and Orton wasn’t ready to make the jump to the full time main event scene just yet. The match wasn’t bad or anything though.
Some big shot Republicans are here.
We recap Jericho vs. Cena. As mentioned there isn’t much to talk about here. Bischoff doesn’t like Cena and has Jericho to take the title away from him. This is Cena’s first feud as champion on Raw. This gets the music video treatment.
Chris Jericho vs. John Cena
They stare each other down to start before trading chops to Jericho’s advantage. A snap suplex puts Cena down but Jericho’s springboard cross body misses Cena entirely and Chris hits the floor. Back in and Cena hits a running elbow into the face but charges into a dropkick to slow things down again. A suplex gets two for the challenger and he follows it up with a dropkick to the jaw. Jericho sends him out to the floor and dropkicks him off the apron for good measure.
Cena gets choked with a microphone cord before being thrown inside to be beaten up even more. A superplex has Cena in trouble but it shook Jericho up too badly to cover. Cena starts pounding back but misses a flying shoulder, allowing Jericho to try the Walls, only to be kicked out to the floor. As Jericho gets back in, Cena drops a top rope leg onto Chris’ head for a close two count. The FU is countered into a DDT and both guys are down.
The fans are split here as Jericho chokes away on the ropes. Cena is in trouble but he comes back with a HARD clothesline to put both guys down again. They slug it out with Cena taking over and hitting his usual finishing sequence, including the spinning powerbomb but as he loads up the Five Knuckle Shuffle, Jericho counters into the Walls. After a long crawl, Cena finally makes it to the rope to escape. A belly to back superplex gets two for Jericho but as they get back up, he charges right into the FU to retain the title for Cena.
Rating: C. The match wasn’t bad here but it didn’t really click for the most part. This was an off time for Jericho as he didn’t fit as a heel because he was more or less the same guy he had always been but he was supposed to be bad now. Cena was starting to click as a main event guy though and that’s a really good sign, but the feud with Bischoff didn’t do anything for him as everyone saw it for what it was.
Chicago gets Wrestlemania 22.
We recap JBL vs. Batista. Basically it was supposed to be Muhammad Hassan taking the title off Big Dave but there was the whole terrorist angle (Hassan had terrorist looking guys attack Undertaker on the same day as the 7/7 London bombings and the backlash got Hassan released) so JBL was thrown in. This is a rematch after the Great American Bash where JBL won by DQ, so tonight it’s no holds barred.
Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield
JBL dollars rain from the sky before we get going. The fight starts in the aisle and a belt shot to the head has JBL in trouble. They head over to some of the equipment with JBL being sent into various metal objects. Batista is whipped into a steel case and they brawl through the crowd to ringside where the champion spears JBL through the barricade. A dazed Batista is sent into the post and we finally get inside the ring.
JBL pounds him down into the corner and whips Batista with the timekeeper’s belt. The choke with the belt goes on longer than any human would be alive but Batista fights out and whips JBL with the belt as well. Batista hits the corner shoulders but charges into a boot and JBL’s Clothesline is good for two. JBL brings in the steps and loads up a powerbomb off of them, only to be backdropped down instead. Batista hits the spinebuster and the Batista Bomb but he doesn’t cover. Instead he picks up JBL again and powerbombs him onto the steps for the emphatic pin.
Rating: D+. This wasn’t much at all and the ending was never in doubt. It’s just over nine minutes and about a minute of that was spent on JBL choking Big Dave. JBL was the main event jobber at this point which meant he was ok at best. Batista was still the biggest star in the company at this point but Cena was rising fast.
We recap Hogan vs. Michaels. Hogan was inducted into the Hall of Fame and the fans chanted one more match. HBK was dealing with Muhammad Hassan and Daivari and begged Hogan to join him for one more match. They teamed up for the win at Backlash and became a semi-regular tag team until the 4th of July when Shawn superkicked Hogan after a win. Shawn accused Hogan of living off a reputation for twenty years, setting up a showdown here tonight. Shawn turned heel for the build because goodness knows Hogan isn’t getting booed on his nostalgia tour.
Shawn Michaels vs. Hulk Hogan
Michaels cools his heels on the floor before the bell as the fans are way into this. Hogan easily wins the first lockup and shoves Shawn down a few more times. The fans tell Shawn that he screwed Bret as he hooks a headlock to take over for a few moments. A hard shoulder block puts Shawn on the floor and Michaels stalls again. Back in and Shawn chops away before being whipped onto the top rope for some punts to the ribs. Shawn is crotched on the top and punched in the face for his efforts.
Michaels finally wises up and thumbs Hulk in the eye, only to have Hogan come back with a backdrop. Hogan sends him to the floor and launches him back inside before walking into some right hands and chops. Then comes the mistake as Shawn slaps him in the face, cuing the Hulk Up. Shawn slaps him again….and it seems to work. He fires off more chops but gets sent into the corner for the Flair Flip and a big right hand to send Shawn to the floor.
Hogan drops him on the announce table and pounds away with those “ham-like” right hands. Shawn is posted but Hogan breaks the count at nine. Hogan tries to ram him in again but Shawn slips off and posts Hulk instead. The bald one is cut open and Shawn pounds away at the cut. They fall to the mat with Shawn staying on the assault and the cut being in such a goofy straight line that you almost have to chuckle.
Off to a sleeper with Hogan’s blood GUSHING onto Shawn’s arm. Hogan’s arm only drops twice and he comes out of it with a belly to back suplex. Both guys are down and Hogan looks very confused. Back up and there’s the forearm into the nipup but the big elbow misses. There’s the finger point but another forearm breaks up the big boot. The referee is bumped though just before Shawn nips up again. Shawn goes to the wrong corner for the elbow so instead he puts Hogan in the Sharpshooter as a second referee slides in.
The hold stays on for a LONG time but Shawn has it on so badly that it’s easily believed. Hogan makes the rope so Shawn loads it up again, only to be kicked off and into another referee. With no referee, Shawn hits Hogan low and grabs a chair. A bad looking shot to the head puts Hogan down and there’s the big elbow. It didn’t work for Savage in 89 and it’s not going to work here. Sweet Chin Music gets two and I think you can fill in the blanks here. One Hulk Up, big boot (with infamous overselling that would make Rock say “DUDE tone it WAY down) and a legdrop later and we’re done.
Rating: C-. This is your standard Hogan match but that’s not exactly the best thing to see in 2005. It’s a cool idea for a match in theory but it didn’t quite hold up in actuality. Shawn had to tone his main event style WAY down to let Hogan keep up with him and it was all nostalgia after that. I’m ok with the booking here as Shawn didn’t need the win at all and was the guy to put over everyone in his return so putting over Hogan is fine. The match is worth seeing for historical significance but not much more.
Shawn and Hogan make up and massive posing ends the show.
Overall Rating: D+. This is a hard one to grade as it’s not exactly a bad show, but there’s nothing here that you should go out of your way to see at all. This was a bad time for the company as they were in a big transition to the new stuff but the new guys weren’t ready yet. That leaves an uninteresting show with matches that were easy to predict. It’s not terrible by any means and there are FAR worse shows out there, but this isn’t worth seeing other than the main event for history.
Ratings Comparison
Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan
Original: N/A
Redo: N/A
Matt Hardy vs. Edge
Original: B+
Redo: C+
Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio
Original: B
Redo: B-
Kurt Angle vs. Eugene
Original: A+
Redo: D
Randy Orton vs. Undertaker
Original: B-
Redo: C+
John Cena vs. Chris Jericho
Original: C
Redo: C
Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield
Original: D
Redo: D+
Hulk Hogan vs. Shawn Michaels
Original: B-
Redo: C-
Overall Rating
Original: B
Redo: D+
The Eugene match was because I liked seeing Eugene get beaten up. The overall rating doesn’t even make bad sense.
Smackdown Date: August 9, 2016
Location: Rabobank Arena, Bakersfield, California
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga
Summerslam is coming up but tonight is going to be another light show as a bunch of the roster is off on a tour of Australia. Tonight is again going to be focused on Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler and their upcoming WWE World Title match, though there’s the chance that the Wyatts will be involved as well. Let’s get to it.
Randy Orton is ready to kill Brock Lesnar’s legend because all it takes is one RKO to get to Viperville. Alberto Del Rio comes up and says that sounds like Disneyland so Orton offers to give him a VIP tour.
Opening sequence.
Here are Bray Wyatt and Erick Rowan to open the show. Last week Bray did NOT fall to Dolph Ziggler because he was a victim. Ziggler was desperate and in that desperation came a ram into the turnbuckle because it was the only way. You can’t defeat Bray Wyatt because he is everywhere. There is no red or blue because this is him against the world.
Cue Dean Ambrose to say this is a new era because Bray is talking about how he’s a victim. That sounds like a baby instead of an eater of worlds. Bray invites him into the ring but Dean is smarter than that. This brings out Ziggler who charges into the ring on his own with Dean coming in a few seconds later. Rowan is sent outside but Dolph superkicks Dean by accident, only to eat Sister Abigail.
Post break, Ambrose yells at Ziggler until the bosses come up and make the tag match. As usual I can only wonder why we need both Bryan and Shane for this segment. One of them accomplishes the same as two but we get both of them anyway.
American Alpha vs. Mike Vega/Mikey O’Shea
Before the match, Ascension, the Vaudevillains and the Hype Bros come out to watch. Alpha starts on Vega’s leg, followed by the double dropkick and the Grand Amplitude for the pin at 1:11.
All four teams brawl post match with Alpha cleaning house. As they brawl, the announcers talk about the upcoming Smackdown Tag Team Titles.
Miz and Maryse are at Renee Young’s interview desk and nearly crawl over her as she sends us to a video package on Miz’s #1 contender Apollo Crews. Back with Miz and Maryse laying on the table with Miz calling his wife a modern day Aphrodite. That’s enough for Renee as she throws it back to the arena.
Becky Lynch vs. Eva Marie
Eva gets her big over the top entrance and breaks her top on the way off the turnbuckle so again no match.
Post match Becky vents some frustration and issues an open challenge.
Becky Lynch vs. Alexa Bliss
Joined in progress with Bliss in control for a bit until Becky makes a comeback with a clothesline and the Bexploder. Now here’s Eva Marie with the big voiceover doing the full entrance again, allowing Bliss to hit a choke shove and Twisted Bliss for the pin at 2:32. Bliss was fine here but I’m not wild on the Divas being more sexualized again. They did just fine and got better than ever without it but now we seem to be seeing it again.
Post match Eva calls this a shame but she’ll make her debut next week.
Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio
The fans chant RKO to start and Orton takes over with some right hands in the corner. Del Rio comes back with a knee to the ribs and then stands there for a second, allowing Orton to snap him back first across the ropes. Back from a break with Orton going shoulder first into the steps and Del Rio working on an armbar.
Alberto gets the armbreaker across the top rope for a few seconds but gets crotched on top for taking too long. That means the superplex but Orton has to escape an armbreaker attempt. The elevated DDT doesn’t set up the RKO as Orton takes it outside and loads up the announcers’ table instead. That takes too long as well though and Del Rio hits him in the arm with a chair for the DQ at 12:20.
Rating: C-. Would anyone notice if Del Rio was traded for a red wagon and a box of Ding Dongs? His entire character can be summed up as “Mexican heel who attacks arms” and that’s not enough to carry my interest. I’m also not sure why they didn’t have Orton get the clean pin here as it’s not like Del Rio needs protecting. Then again they’ll probably have a rematch next week because it would be asking a lot to have them come up with a new idea so soon.
Post match Orton hits the RKO to prevent another chair shot.
Heath Slater asks Rhyno to lay down for him. Rhyno says no because he needs to impress his constituents in his Michigan State Senate district (where he really is up for election). Slater suddenly can’t remember how many kids he has so Rhyno says no.
Miz arrived earlier today and met Scooby-Doo, demanding that all of his new DVDs are immediately recalled. Scooby shoves him in a van and steals Miz’s car.
Heath Slater vs. Rhyno
Rhyno beats him up to start and shrugs off everything Slater can throw at him. A belly to belly gets two on Heath but he avoids a charge to send Rhyno into the buckle. That’s only good for two though as Slater is caught with his feet on the ropes, setting up the Gore to give Rhyno the pin at 3:03.
Rating: D. This was all it needed to be though I’m hoping Slater gets to keep going with this run he’s on as it’s quite entertaining. Rhyno is fine in the role as well as he can go out there, hit people really hard and then get pinned while keeping most of his credibility. He’s a fine role player and that’s all it needs to be.
We go to the Wyatts with Rowan talking about wolves being led by a sheep. Bray says Rowan has always been a good soldier (Good?) but tonight he wants Erick to be ready to give his life for the cause.
After a break the bosses are considering giving Heath a job for his fighting spirit until Slater comes in to yell at them for embarrassing him in front of his seven kids. Heath says Smackdown doesn’t deserve him and storms off. They change their mind on the contract.
Carmella vs. Natalya
Natalya jumps her during the entrance and sends her throat first into the ropes. A stomping in the corner makes the orange Carmella scream and we’re off to a bow and arrow. It’s off to the abdominal stretch with Natalya lifting Carmella’s leg to make it even worse. Nattie By Nature connects but Carmella kicks off the Sharpshooter and puts on her headscissors crossface for the tap at 4:12.
Rating: D+. Not much to this one but it’s a good way to introduce Carmella. Unfortunately I really don’t think she’s ready for the main roster in ring level. Keeping it short here like they did with Bliss earlier makes sense though as they both need ring time. I’m still amazed that they think they have enough talent for a division when you have to count Eva and Maryse as members of the roster though. Maybe in a few months when Carmella and Alexa have developed but this is too soon.
Long video on AJ Styles vs. John Cena.
Baron Corbin attacks Kalisto for costing him the triple threat last week.
Erick Rowan/Bray Wyatt vs. Dolph Ziggler/Dean Ambrose
The Wyatts run the good guys over to start and Rowan hits a clothesline to send Dolph outside as we take a break less than ninety seconds in. Back with Dean getting the hot tag to clean house, only to spend too much time on the floor with Rowan so Bray can take him down with a big clothesline. Bray sends Dean outside again for the release Rock Bottom on the apron, only to have to escape Dirty Deeds.
Instead Dean hits a swinging neckbreaker and makes the real hot tag to Ziggler. Everything breaks down and Rowan’s spinning kick to the face gets two on Dolph. The Zig Zag gets the same with Bray making the save but Dean breaks up Sister Abigail. Dean’s suicide dive gets tangled up in the ropes and he crashes down to the floor, leaving Rowan to eat the superkick for the pin at 10:40.
Rating: C+. It was false hope at best to imagine Bray being added to the title match and I’m ok with that. Ziggler vs. Ambrose will be a fine match. Not thrilling mind you but definitely entertaining enough for a middle of the shot spot. Rowan taking the fall here was the only way to go as Bray can come back later, hopefully against the winner of the title match and no one is any worse off.
Dean gives him Dirty Deeds as a receipt for earlier in the night. A BIG YES chant ends the show.
Overall Rating: C. This was a bit better than last night’s show but a lot of the improvement is due to the show being an hour shorter. It’s so much better to have this show wrap up at ten instead of eleven as the show doesn’t drain you nearly as much. That being said, it was still little more than a bunch of short matches with so many people off on the overseas tour. The show was completely in the middle though as an easy two hour sit but nothing that you needed to see. Things should pick up with the full roster back next week though.
Results
American Alpha b. Mike Vega/Mikey O’Shea – Grand Amplitude to Vega
Alexa Bliss b. Becky Lynch – Twisted Bliss
Randy Orton b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when Del Rio used a chair
Rhyno b. Heath Slater – Gore
Carmella b. Natalya – Headscissors Crossface
Dean Ambrose/Dolph Ziggler b. Erick Rowan/Bray Wyatt – Superkick to Rowan
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