Wrestlemania XXXIII To Be Held In Orlando
Officially announced today in a pretty big non-shock.
Officially announced today in a pretty big non-shock.
After a lot of complaining we’ll talk about something fun for a change with a look at the Fabulous Freebirds.
Monday Night Raw
Date: February 29, 2016
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
It’s the first Raw ever on February 29 and the big story would seem to be Undertaker showing up to address his match with Shane McMahon. Other than that we should get more between HHH and Roman Reigns, assuming Reigns is back from his nose injury at HHH’s hands last week. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of HHH beating Reigns down last week to end the show.
Opening sequence.
Here’s HHH to get things going. HHH talks about how only a handful of us actually have any authority and the rest of us all have an authority figure in their lives. Every single one of us hate it (much like opening Raw with a long promo that isn’t likely to lead anywhere) and want to fight back but we’re all afraid. That fear keeps everything in line but people like Reigns decided to not listen to that fear.
Now Reigns is sitting at home breathing through his mouth and hoping he can still go to Wrestlemania. Cue Ambrose to a nice reaction from the fans as things slow down. Dean just got off the phone with Reigns, who says hi but he’s also coming for HHH. They make some Oscar references to recap Ambrose challenging Lesnar last week and Shane having to fight Undertaker at Wrestlemania.
Ambrose asks who HHH wanted to win the match at Fastlane but the champ brushes it off by saying Dean wasn’t a factor in that match. Dean gets right in HHH’s face and says he’s the last person HHH wants to face at Wrestlemania. The boss finally gets that Dean really is crazy but Ambrose can see it in him: HHH is scared.
HHH thinks that’s the smell of clean clothes and power that Dean isn’t familiar with, which draws a YOU CAN’T BEAT HIM chant. Dean gets right to the point and asks for a title shot but HHH says that shouting RIGHT NOW doesn’t earn you a title shot. He’ll give Dean an answer at the end of the night (with Dean clarifying that HHH means by the end of the show) but first of all, Dean has to fight Alberto Del Rio.
Becky Lynch vs. Sasha Banks
The winner gets Charlotte (at ringside with Ric Flair) for the title at Wrestlemania. Just get to the double pin now. They start fast with some pinfall reversal sequences and get some near falls each. Neither submission works and we’ve got a stalemate as both of them are trying for their Wrestlemania moment. Not the title or anything, but a Wrestlemania moment.
Becky is sent outside and taken down with a baseball slide, allowing Sasha to send her into the post as we take a break. Back with Sasha driving two knees into Becky’s chest for another near fall as JBL keeps up the line of it all being about going to Wrestlemania. Becky grabs an exploder suplex and stops a charge with a boot to the face. A missile dropkick gets two for Lynch but Sasha is up first and heads up top. Becky is right there though and tries a superplex, only to get countered into a sunset flip. Sasha lays back for no apparent reason and it’s a double pin at 9:54.
Rating: C+. This was much more like the NXT format for a women’s match and it was better as a result. Instead of having them sit around and do chinlocks for three minutes, these two were actually telling a story and making things work far better. The ending was predictable but I’d rather have all three of them in the match instead of just Sasha.
We don’t have a winner and Charlotte is happy.
The Wyatts come on screen with Bray talking about insanity meaning to try something more than once and expecting different results. Well maybe he’s insane then because he wants to save us all. He had an idea which is turning into a plan and can be used to save us all. Run.
Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz
This is over an argument on the pre-show last week over Ziggler asking what Miz has done lately. Let me repeat that. DOLPH ZIGGLER is asking what someone has done lately. Ziggler starts punching away in the corner but gets whipped hard into the corner to set up a rollup…..for the pin at 1:05. Well that’s surprising. Nice but surprising.
Long recap of last week’s opening segment with Shane McMahon returning.
Here’s Stephanie for her acceptance speech for the Vincent J. McMahon Award. We get some classic heel tactics as she asks for the respect that she deserves during her speech. The fans chant for Shane but apparently he’s not here tonight, just like he won’t be here after Wrestlemania. Stephanie holds the trophy like a baby and talks about all the sacrifices she makes, only to be greeted with more WE WANT SHANE chants.
She turns the podium over and goes on a rant about how horrible Shane is and what it means that people cheer for him. Stephanie goes on about how Shane has been gone for years, which proves how little he cares about this whole place. This is a speech you could have said about the Rock before he returned in 2011 with some of the exact same lines.
Apparently it eats Shane alive that Stephanie and Hunter are married and that she has so much power. Shane’s kids can be in charge later on but they’ll have to fight to earn that power. She hits the screeching voice and talks about how we all need to show her respect and bow down to the queen before leaving. To recap: no Shane, no interruption and no one getting anything in on Stephanie as she hypes up…..herself. Oh yeah everything is normal again.
Lucha Dragons vs. Rusev/Sheamus
Of course this is still going. JBL: “The League is like the Four Horsemen. They just need a JJ Dillon.” Cara sunset flips Sheamus for two to start but charges into an Irish Curse. Rusev comes in to crush Cara’s head before Sheamus comes back in for an armbar. I’m not sure on having a power guy like Sheamus using an arm hold. That doesn’t feel right.
Cara comes back with a tornado DDT and the hot tag brings in Kalisto to clean house with his bouncing offense. The hurricanrana driver (minus most of the drive) gets two on Rusev and Cara dives onto Barrett. That earns Cara a Brogue Kick though and Kalisto takes Sheamus down with a flip dive. Back in and Rusev kicks Kalisto in the head for the pin at 5:05.
Rating: D+. You can’t make this stuff up. I mean, as soon as the Dragons came out you knew Kalisto was going to take the pin if his team lost because we need to protect SIN CARA for some reason. I’m really not sure what we’re going with the League as they’re just floating, so yeah of course let one of them pin the US Champion.
Del Rio gives Kalisto the top rope double stomp post match.
Immediately after the match, Cole: “Of course Total Divas airs every Tuesday night on E!” I’m glad they’re not even bothering to hide the fact that the show is more important than the US Title.
Renee Young and Natalya do a commercial for Subway. Eh it’s a big check for WWE for thirty seconds of Raw. It’s hard to complain about something like that.
We recap the opening segment.
Ryback vs. Adam Rose
Before the match, Ryback talks about wanting the spotlight and promises to take it for himself. Ryback throws him around the ring to start but Rose gets in a running kick to the chest for two. Normally I would say there’s no way WWE is going to have Ryback lose a week after a heel turn but you never can tell these days. The Backpack Stunner breaks up a chinlock and Ryback pounds away on the mat until Rose is out cold. The Shell Shock is good for the pin at 2:04.
We recap Brock’s antics last week, including laying out Ambrose and accepting his challenge for Wrestlemania.
New Day vs. AJ Styles/Chris Jericho
Non-title. After a break, New Day says they’re the greatest three man team of all time and will fight anyone who disagrees. They aren’t a loose collection of talents like the League of Nations and are better than any great team like Sonic and Tails, Snoop and Dr. Dre, Edge and Christian or Cheerios and milk. Jericho and Kofi get things going with Chris nailing a nice dropkick. Stereo dives to the champs take us to a break.
Back with Styles in trouble and taking the Unicorn Stampede thanks to some Woods interference. AJ gets dropped onto the barricade and Kofi pulls out a card to show that he has AJ’s number. Back in and the Pele drops Kofi long enough for the hot tag to bring in Jericho. Everything breaks down with Jericho destroying the champs but having to kick out of a rollup. The Lionsault gets two on Kofi with Big E. making the save, only to get taken down by the springboard forearm. Trouble in Paradise is countered into the Walls of Jericho to make Kofi tag at 8:59.
Rating: C. It’s been a bad night for champions. I’m so glad they’re putting Jericho and AJ together for a title program because having AJ face, say, Kevin Owens for the Intercontinental Title at Wrestlemania and letting them go nuts for fifteen minutes would just be a disaster. Normally I would complain about Jericho and Styles winning like two matches and suddenly being a top team, but that’s the extent of the division these days so it’s not the biggest problem.
Post match Jericho and Styles say they’re officially a thing and want a title shot next week on Raw.
Here’s Vince for a chat before Undertaker comes out. Vince talks about how the stars would have to align to have Shane come out here in charge on Raw the night after Wrestlemania. None of that is going to happen though because only fools believe in miracles. Vince introduces Undertaker and after three more Wrestlemanias have passed, he finally gets down to the ring.
Vince talks about how Undertaker is his destroyer but Undertaker grabs him by the throat. Once that door closes, Shane’s blood is going to be on Vince’s hands, not Undertaker’s. That’s it, after Undertaker might have been in the ring for ninety seconds. Vince isn’t done yet though, as he says Shane has lost his inheritance and is out of his will. All of Vince’s money is now going to Stephanie and Shane is no longer his son.
We look back at the Dudley Boyz beating up the Usos three weeks back.
Jey Uso vs. Bubba Ray Dudley
Jey goes right after him with right hands and drives Bubba up against the ropes for some shoulders to the ribs. A superkick puts Bubba down but D-Von pulls out a table to blast Jimmy in the face. Jey superkicks D-Von but eats a Bubba Bomb for the pin at 2:11.
Goldust comes up to R-Truth in the back but Truth cuts him off to say this isn’t happening. He doesn’t want to see what costume Goldust has or what song he has to sing because he’s done with all this. Goldust walks away sad.
Kevin Owens vs. Big Show
Non-title and a rematch from Smackdown where Owens won by countout. They’re quickly on the floor with Owens hitting a superkick, followed by a tornado DDT off the apron for nine. Show slides back in but has to kick out of the backsplash at two. Owens goes up top but gets crotched, setting up a countout to give Big Show the win at 2:36.
Brie Bella is here and talking about Bryan when Lana of all people interrupts. Lana talks about how she’s a real woman with a real figure while Brie is married to a tiny goat man. A match is actually teased.
Brie Bella vs. Naomi
I’m so glad they teased this. Brie starts in on the arm to start and works on an armbar until Tamina trips her up. Back in and a legdrop gets two for Naomi and we hit the double arm crank. The split legged moonsault misses but Naomi is able to hit the dancing kicks. She misses the big kick to the head though and Brie is able to come back with the YES Kicks. Tamina offers another distraction though and Naomi puts on a crucifix to pull back on Brie’s arms while cranking on the neck for the submission at 4:07.
Rating: D-. They’re just not very good. I really don’t know how else to put it but these women really aren’t very good. Naomi is an athletic freak with no idea how to use her athleticism and Brie…..well she’s…..there’s no other way to put it other than she isn’t a good wrestler. As in she fails at almost every aspect in the ring and it’s getting harder to sit through her matches while she sponges off Bryan’s head.
Lana comes out to shake her head at Brie.
Fabulous Freebirds Hall of Fame video.
We look back at Becky vs. Sasha from earlier.
Sasha and Becky argue in the back until Charlotte comes up to say there’s going to be a rematch on Smackdown. Charlotte makes fun of them for being so excited.
We recap Vince cutting Shane out of his will and saying he won’t be his son anymore. How many times has Vince done that over the years?
Dean Ambrose vs. Alberto Del Rio
Ambrose is all bandaged up so Del Rio sends him out to the floor and into the barricade. Back in and Alberto rams shoulders into the buckle, followed by a DDT for two. The armbreaker over the top rope cranks on the bad arm even more but Dean counters the top rope double stomp. The Backstabber sends Dean outside again and now the double stomp connects from the apron. Dean beats the count back in at nine (because of course he does) so Alberto fires off kicks to the ribs.
Dirty Deeds is broken up but Dean settles for a bulldog and missile dropkick. Back up and Ambrose goes shoulder first into the post, allowing Alberto to hit the corner enziguri. Alberto misses a charge and hits the floor, allowing Dean to dive on all four of them. The referee starts counting but here’s HHH to interrupt. The distraction lets the League sneak in for the DQ at 9:40.
Rating: D+. This was a squash with Dean getting in some hope spots near the end but you knew HHH was going to get involved somehow. I can go for the League as a bunch of goons who do HHH’s bidding instead of being a featured act. It’s a good enough idea but the difference here is there’s a reason to care about someone like Ambrose. Reigns is just a guy who happens to be there and it’s a big part of why this isn’t working.
Post match HHH says Ambrose will never beat the Authority so Dean punches him in the jaw. Ambrose gets in some shots in the corner but eats a Pedigree. HHH says the match is on and leaves, because why have the match now when your opponent is done? Ah, yes, plot convenience. Ambrose crawls over to the mic and says thanks but HHH takes the jacket off and unbuttons his sleeves. HHH comes back and throws Dean to the floor, setting up the required whip over the announcers’ table. Referees come out to break it up and one actually shouts “THIS IS UNPROFESSIONAL!” HHH leaves Dean laying to end the show.
Overall Rating: D-. Save for the last five minutes, this was a disaster. The problem here is simple: I watched last week’s show. For some reason though WWE has decided to just keep showing us the same clips over and over because that’s enough to make us keep watching. The main event scene still has the same problem: Ambrose is someone people can relate to but Reigns is someone who isn’t even on the show but we’re supposed to want to see him fight in the biggest match of the year? The title shot could change things but I’d be stunned if they actually do a title change this close to Wrestlemania.
The rest of the show was horrible though with almost no good matches and the feeling that we’re somewhere in October instead of having less than five weeks before Wrestlemania. The top three matches at Wrestlemania seem to be set in stone and if that’s the case, it’s going to be a very long night in Dallas. There’s still time to shake things up and there’s a reason to hope but good night we could be in for some trouble.
Results
Becky Lynch vs. Sasha Banks went to a double pin
The Miz b. Dolph Ziggler – Rollup
Rusev/Sheamus b. Lucha Dragons – Kick to Kalisto’s head
Ryback b. Adam Rose – Shell Shock
Chris Jericho/AJ Styles b. New Day – Walls of Jericho to Kingston
Bubba Ray Dudley b. Jey Uso – Bubba Bomb
Big Show b. Kevin Owens via countout
Naomi b. Brie Bella – Crucifix neck crank
Dean Ambrose b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when the League of Nations interfered
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
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Smackdown
Date: February 25, 2016
Location: Bankers Life Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton
We’re getting close to Wrestlemania in a hurry and things are really starting to change. This past Monday saw the return of Shane McMahon and the announcement of his match against Undertaker of all people inside the Cell at the biggest show of the year. Other than that we have what seems like the face HHH vs. the heel Roman Reigns for the World Title coming up. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the main event of Fastlane and the post match staredown with Reigns vs. HHH.
Here’s HHH for a rare Smackdown appearance to open things up. He gets things going by quoting some Rolling Stones with a little Sympathy for the Devil. HHH talks about how Monday left no doubt in Roman Reigns’ mind about what’s coming for him at Wrestlemania and we see a long clip of the attack on Reigns to end the show.
We see a picture of Reigns after his surgery, which HHH says is a man who has been humbled. You see HHH in a suit right now but make no mistake about it: he is the authority. Everyone wants to rebel and HHH has even been there himself but there’s no point to it. Instead you bow your head and you go to work to do your job. Either accept the authority or let your soul go to waste.
HHH has had to walk over a lot of people to get where he is. Reigns has the sweat part down and HHH knows Roman is good. He saw the blood on Monday, which just leaves the tears. HHH will save those for Wrestlemania when he humbles Roman once and for all because he’s the Game and that’s what he does as the Game, the Cerebral Assassin and the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. This didn’t fix everything but it’s the best promo these guys have done for their match so far.
League of Nations vs. Lucha Dragons/Neville/Dolph Ziggler
Ziggler and Barrett get things going with the King making his first actual in ring appearance in weeks. Everything breaks down less than a minute in with the Dragons diving on Del Rio and Rusev. Alberto kicks them both down as Ziggler DDT’s Barrett, only to get taken down by Sheamus and Rusev as we take a break.
Back with Del Rio giving Ziggler a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Rusev mocks Ziggler’s attempts to tag his partners before bringing Sheamus back in for a suplex. Ziggler comes back with a superkick (of course) and Lawler is suddenly a League fan. The hot tag brings in Neville to clean house with a running clothesline and a basement dropkick to Barrett before heading up top. Sheamus tries to make a save so Neville dives over him with a 450 for a near fall. The Dragons take out Rusev as Neville hits a Red Arrow on Barrett. Del Rio makes the save but eats a superkick, followed by the Brogue Kick to put Neville away at 8:22.
Rating: C+. I liked this because they didn’t bother stretching the match out for the sake of stretching it out. That’s something you see so often on Raw and it makes matches feel longer and longer every single week. This was just as long as it needed to be and didn’t feel like it was missing anything they would have done in a match five minutes longer. Good little match here and it’s nice to see Barrett back in the ring.
Kevin Owens talks about seeing Dean Ambrose take a beating on Monday and then come back to face Brock Lesnar again. It inspired him so much that Ambrose deserves an Intercontinental Title shot. However, Ambrose isn’t here tonight so that’s just too bad. There’s no one left for Owens to beat so he has the night off, which brings in Big Show. Owens makes some retirement jokes until Show grabs him by the shirt and threatens to KO KO.
D-Von Dudley vs. Jimmy Uso
Before the match, Bubba goes on his same rant about not being a nostalgia act because they’re the nine time WWE Tag Team Champions. D-Von promises that they’ll be doing whatever they have to do to prove that they’re the greatest tag team of all time whether you like it or not. Jimmy starts fast with a series of kicks before going up top. Bubba distracts the referee with a table though, allowing him to shove Jimmy off the top. D-Von gets a rollup for the pin at 53 seconds in a storyline segment.
Long recap of Shane McMahon returning on Monday.
Undertaker will be on Raw to address everything.
Chris Jericho talks to AJ Styles about being being partners and potentially Tag Team Champions. They need a third man for a six man tag against New Day later, so here’s Mark Henry to say he’d love to teach those three clowns a lesson.
Godfather Hall of Fame announcement.
Video of Ryback walking out on his partners on Monday, saying it was time for things to be about him.
Big Show vs. Kevin Owens
Non-title. Owens goes right after him to start and is promptly knocked into the corner. A shot to the throat puts Show down and the backsplash gets two. The near fall ticks Show off and he chops away in the corner, sending Owens out to the floor for a breather. Back in and a chokeslam sends Kevin right back to the floor. For some reason Show goes up, only to get crotched out to the floor for a countout at 3:05.
Rating: C. I liked this far better than I was expecting as they actually packed some good intensity into a short match. Show can work quite well in a role like this instead of being in main events over and over. It’s also nice to see Owens winning again instead of losing matches to schnooks like Dolph Ziggler.
Natalya vs. Becky Lynch
They shake hands to start and Natalya takes her down with a headlock. Becky fights up with a dropkick but she misses the spinning legdrop. A suplex sends Becky outside but here are Naomi and Tamina to lay Natalya out for the DQ at 1:58.
Sasha Banks runs out for the save and the villains are cleared out. Cue Charlotte to laugh about Becky vs. Sasha for the #1 contendership taking place on Monday. She’ll be in the front row and wishes both of them the best of luck.
R-Truth vs. Heath Slater
Before the match, Goldust comes out to stand in a neutral corner despite the GOLDEN TRUTH chants. They start with some basic stuff until Truth puts the brakes on and thrusts his hips. Some forearms give Truth the first advantage but Slater comes back with a running knee. Truth gets pulled to the mat by the hair, only to catch Slater with a jumping side kick to the head. Dallas offers a quick distraction but Goldust punches Slater into a backslide to give Truth the pin at 3:10.
Rating: D. Nothing to see here but I’m still hoping they don’t go with Golden Truth. There’s a better story with Truth rejecting him and Goldust not reacting well instead of “yeah sure let’s just be a team.” The segments have been fun but the story doesn’t do much for me if it’s the same thing Goldust did back in 2002.
Post match Truth still doesn’t want help but is a bit nicer about it.
Video on Brock and Ambrose from Raw.
New Day vs. Mark Henry/AJ Styles/Chris Jericho
Before the match, New Day rips on the League of Nations a bit more but then switches over to Y2AJ. As for tonight though, Kofi is stunned that Mark Henry still thinks he’s the World’s Strongest Man. They jump back to insulting Jericho and Styles, who will never be the WWE Tag Team Champions (dance time) because NEW DAY ROCKS.
Big E. shoulders Jericho down to start but it’s quickly off to Henry for a staredown. Some headbutts stagger Big E. and a shoulder puts him down. Henry clotheslines Woods and Kingston out to the floor and his partners add dives. The heroes dance (nice to see AJ getting to show some personality) and we take a break.
Back with Jericho chopping Woods to draw some screams. AJ hits a backbreaker and brings Jericho in again for the springboard dropkick. The distraction lets Big E. take over though as he drops Jericho face first onto the buckle for two. The Unicorn Stampede sets up some tromboning and we get a dance from Big E. Saxton: “When Big E. dances it looks like a penguin in a hula hoop contest.”
Kofi puts Jericho in a chinlock and avoids a dropkick to keep Chris in trouble. Big E.’s Warrior Splash and a Woods legdrop get two, followed by the abdominal stretch. The Big Ending doesn’t work though and Jericho makes the tag to Styles as everything speeds up. The moonsault into the reverse DDT (still botched a bit but it was closer this time) drops Woods and everything breaks down. Trouble in Paradise hits Henry but Jericho takes a bullet for AJ in a nice moment of friendship. AJ grabs the Calf Crusher to make Woods tap at 11:19.
Rating: C-. Standard six man Smackdown main event here but it was little more than a way to set up Jericho and Styles as a regular team. Henry could have been anyone else here and the story would have been the same. AJ and Jericho were the stars here and it’s pretty clear that we’re going to see the two of them getting a shot at the belts in Dallas.
Overall Rating: C-. This was far more about the video packages than anything else and you can almost guarantee that is the norm going into Wrestlemania season. The wrestling was nothing to see here but we got some decent storyline development. Above all else it’s nice to see the stories flow from Raw to Smackdown and then back to Raw instead of Raw, then Smackdown as bonus material before we get back to Monday. Not a good show or anything here but it got some stuff done.
Results
League of Nations b. Lucha Dragons/Neville/Dolph Ziggler – Brogue Kick to Neville
D-Von Dudley b. Jimmy Uso – Rollup
Kevin Owens b. Big Show via countout
Natalya b. Becky Lynch via DQ when Tamina and Naomi interfered
R-Truth b. Heath Slater – Backslide
AJ Styles/Chris Jericho/Mark Henry b. New Day – Calf Crusher to Woods
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
It’s two years old today. It feels like it’s been around forever.
Monday Night Raw
Date: February 22, 2016
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
It’s a big night for Raw as we’re done with Fastlane and have less than six weeks before the biggest night of the year. In addition to that we also have the presentation of the first ever Vincent J. McMahon Award and the fallout from Brock Lesnar attacking Dean Ambrose before the show started tonight. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the triple threat main event from last night with Reigns pinning Ambrose to earn the title shot.
Opening sequence.
Cole tells us about Brock attacking Dean as he got to the arena earlier today and we see the video. Ambrose was put in a neck brace and driven away in an ambulance.
Vince McMahon comes out to present the Vincent J. McMahon Sr. Legacy of Excellence Award (which seems to be the same trophy that was give to Hornswoggle for winning a video game tournament a few years back). McMahon talks about his family’s history of presenting sports entertainment for over 100 years and how it was all about a legacy. That’s the kind of person we’re honoring tonight so Vince brings out the first recipient: Stephanie McMahon.
Stephanie comes out to a chorus of boos as Vince tries to tell her how much she deserves this award. She didn’t expect to win but she happens to have a speech prepared. Stephanie starts talking about how much of an honor this is but hoe she couldn’t do this without her husband…..and here’s SHANE MCMAHON of all people to interrupt. The place goes NUTS at this and actually does a big old YES chant for the white haired Shane. Vince asks for a hug or a handshake but Shane isn’t interested.
Shane seems genuinely choked up as he thanks the fans. It’s quickly off to the reason he’s here though: this Award, which Stephanie doesn’t deserve. Stephanie rips into him a bit but Shane says she really doesn’t know. Apparently Stephanie and HHH have been running this company into the ground, such as the stock price, the ratings and all of the injuries. Stephanie calls Shane a quitter so Shane asks if Vince wants to tell her. Years ago, Vince screwed up big time and Shane was there to save things.
Shane was able to take some time off but he never lost his place in line. The reason Stephanie has gotten this far is because Shane let it happen. Stephanie doesn’t buy this but Vince looks….somewhere between annoyed and terrified. Stephanie offers Shane a spot at Wrestlemania this year but Vince cuts her off to talk to his son. Vince asks her to leave but Shane says it’s all true because at the time it was best for business. She finally leaves but not before saying she’ll never forgive Shane for screwing this up.
Vince offers to give Shane another big check to make this go away but this isn’t about money. Every morning, Shane wakes up and is so glad to have his freedom. This is about legacy though because the McMahon Family with Shane’s children now the fifth generation. Shane finally gets to the point: he wants control of Monday Night Raw. Vince says it’s not that easy because the company is in a different place now. Shane wants to make sure that there’s a generation for the future.
That just ticks Vince off but he has an idea. He’ll give Shane what he wants if Shane has one match on one night. However, if Shane loses, he loses possession of anything he has over Vince’s head. The deal is on so Vince says something that has to be censored. Shane goes to leave but Vince stops him to name the specifics. Naturally the match is at Wrestlemania and the opponent is……the Undertaker, inside the Cell.
Neville/Lucha Dragons vs. New Day
Kalisto and Woods get things going and Xavier is sent to the floor as we take a break. Back with Kalisto coming in to work on Woods’ arm before it’s off to Big E. for a belly to belly on Neville. The Unicorn Stampede keeps Neville in trouble and Kofi nails a running boot to the face. Kofi’s dropkick keeps Neville down and Woods gets two as we take another break.
Back again with Big E. staying on Neville and standing on his wrist to keep Neville away from making the tag. Woods gets backdropped face first onto the steps, allowing Neville to kick Kofi away and make the tag off to Sin Cara. Everything breaks down and Cara hits a springboard back elbow to drop Kofi.
A standing Lionsault gets two on Kofi with Big E. making the save, only to get kicked to the floor for a Neville 450 from the apron. Woods does a springboard off Neville’s back onto Woods, leaving Kofi to avoid a Swanton Bomb, tear at Cara’s mask and hit Trouble in Paradise for the pin on Cara at 15:30.
Rating: C+. Fun match here, though it’s a bit overly long with the extra break not really adding anything. You had to know that was coming after the long opening segment though so there really wasn’t a big surprise. New Day certainly wasn’t face here and that’s probably better for them at this point. Let them drop the belts to someone (new hopefully) and then let them turn face after Wrestlemania.
Roman Reigns doesn’t have an update on Dean Ambrose but is ready for his one on one fight at Wrestlemania against HHH. That night, it’s all about his fist and his heart. Reigns likes his odds.
Here are Heyman and Lesnar with something to say. Heyman says this will be the main event of the evening even though Brock isn’t even in his wrestling gear. It doesn’t matter what Lesnar is doing because he’s the main event. Last night Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns got beaten up by Brock Lesnar. If the Undertaker tapped out to Brock Lesnar, Roman certainly was going to as well.
However, Dean Ambrose saved his buddy and turned a wrestling match into a street fight. This ticked off Brock Lesnar so earlier today, Brock attacked Dean as he arrived at the arena. After looking at the clip from earlier, Heyman says there is no shield that can protect Dean from Brock Lesnar. HHH and Roman Reigns can kid themselves all they want by saying they’re the main event when Brock is on the card. Brock needs a new Wrestlemania opponent so Heyman issues a warning to anyone in the locker room.
Go to the hospital tonight and visit Dean to ask what happens when you invoke the wrath of Brock Lesnar. They go to leave and of course, RIGHT ON TIME, here’s the ambulance with Dean inside. Cole: “What is going on?” Man you called the 1999 Royal Rumble. I’m thinking you should know this.
Dean rips the neck brace off as he crawls down the ramp towards the ring. Brock runs him over with a single shot and keeps walking to the back. Makes sense. Dean grabs a mic and says he’s indestructible, which Brock is going to find out the hard way. We get the challenge for Wrestlemania in a no holds barred street fight. Brock comes back to ringside for an F5 on the floor, which Heyman means is a yes.
Usos vs. Ascension
Before the match, here are the Dudley Boyz to interrupt. Bubba apologizes for what they did a few weeks back, even though they’re the most decorated team in wrestling history. Their legacy won’t be defined by a piece of furniture but rather by their accomplishments. That’s why you’ll never see a table again. Speaking of accomplishments, maybe the Usos’ daddy (Rikishi) should have spent more time around them instead of going all over the place.
That’s not much of an insult but it allows Ascension to jump them from behind to start. Konor kicks Jimmy in the face and Viktor drops a fist for two. Jey gets the hot tag a few seconds later as house is cleaned. Viktor dives into a double superkick and the Superfly Splash is good for the pin at 1:57.
Here’s Chris Jericho with something to say. He’s heard about AJ Styles for years and then last night he was defeated by Styles for the second time. He’d like AJ to come out and see him face to face. Cue Styles, who Jericho thanks for proving something last night. AJ has proven that he belongs here in the WWE and he has everything it takes to go to the top and become a champion. Jericho knows that AJ is phenomenal…..and here are the Social Outcasts.
Slater thinks this is pathetic but Bo finds it really beautiful. Slater: “Bo, I was being sarcastic.” Dallas: “Oh yeah. Me too.” The Outcasts don’t buy Y2AJ as a thing but Jericho tells Slater to shut up. They weren’t going to be a team but they’d be glad to if it means getting the Outcasts out of here.
Chris Jericho/AJ Styles vs. Heath Slater/Curtis Axel
This is joined in progress with AJ dropkicking Slater and hitting the basement forearm. Slater powers out of the Clash by sending Heath to the apron, only to have the other Outcasts interfere to take over. Axel stomps him down in the corner and it’s back to Slater for a chinlock. That goes nowhere and it’s the hot tag off to Jericho as everything breaks down. AJ springboard forearms onto Slater, leaving Jericho to make Axel tap to the Walls at 4:02.
Rating: C-. Maybe New Day vs. AJ/Jericho for the Tag Team Titles at Wrestlemania? I’ve certainly heard worse ideas so why not get them on there and give AJ a quick title? I mean, it’s not like there’s a long line to get to the top of the tag division. If nothing else, Kofi vs. AJ could be quite the entertaining segment.
We recap the long opening segment.
HHH tells Stephanie to shake off what happened earlier. Stephanie gets to go tell Roman something to make herself feel better.
Post break Roman goes to check on Dean but Stephanie stops him to make Reigns vs. Sheamus for later. The League isn’t happy with the way Reigns is getting all this attention for Wrestlemania and it would be a shame if they hurt Reigns and took him out of Wrestlemania.
Goldust brings R-Truth a cake to make up for what happened last night. R-Truth doesn’t think much of it but the cake has yellow frosting on chocolate, just like them. Goldust knew Truth would turn him down and that’s exactly why they would be great partners. That fascinates Truth, but he’s not going to smash the cake in Goldust’s face. Actually he does just that, again much like a heel would. Goldust eats some of the cake.
Ryback/Big Show/Kane vs. Wyatt Family
Bray is swapped in for Strowman this time. Harper puts his mask on Byron before the match and for some reason Saxton can’t speak. This is joined in progress with Kane and Bray trading big shots before it’s off to Ryback vs. Harper. Ryback slugs away in the corner and brings in Kane, who eats a quick dropkick. JBL goes on about Hansen and Brody before Cole brings up JBL vs. Austin in a beer drinking contest at the first modern Saturday Night’s Main Event.
Ryback cross bodies Rowan and hits two running knees in the corner. A clothesline sends Rowan to the floor and we take a break. Back with Harper getting two off a Michinoku Driver before Rowan drops an elbow on Ryback. The missile dropkick puts Rowan down and a hot tag brings in Big Show to clean house. Rowan gets chokeslammed but Strowman low bridges Show to the floor. Harper kicks away at the face but his sleeper is broken up, allowing the hot tag to bring in Kane. Everything breaks down and Ryback walks out, leaving Bray to hit Sister Abigail for the pin on Kane at 12:27.
Rating: C-. So the big goal of that whole thing was to turn Ryback heel? Thank goodness they jobbed the Wyatts out for the sake of that because they couldn’t have done anything like this otherwise. It’s a nice enough story, but Ryback needs to not look like a loser who can’t win the big one before I’m going to care about him turning heel.
After a break, Ryback says he’s tired of being in tag teams because it’s about him. This isn’t anything personal with Big Show or Kane. He’s just tired of not getting the spotlight, especially after he won the match last night. It’s time to grab the brass ring and break the glass ceiling.
Sasha Banks vs. Naomi
It’s still a thing. Sasha works on the arm to start and blocks a backslide attempt, only to get kicked in the ribs. Tamina pulls Sasha to the floor and we take a break. Back with Naomi still in control until Becky Lynch comes out to deal with Tamina. A quick Bank Statement makes Naomi tap at 6:45. No rating due to the break in the middle but it was fine.
Post match, here’s Charlotte dressed like a Bella. Charlotte is still emotional after beating Brie Bella last night, even though there needs to be a #1 contender. She loves to see the two of them getting so close. “BECKY WATCH OUT!” Becky believes that Sasha is going to attack her and Charlotte laughs because it’s clear that they don’t trust each other. The next few weeks are going to be fun.
After another recap of the opening, Stephanie tells Vince that she refuses to work for Shane. Vince calls it a calculated risk and Stephanie seems a bit calmer.
We get the Godfather Hall of Fame announcement.
Roman Reigns vs. Sheamus
Sheamus goes after the arm that Brock had in the Kimura last night and Roman is in early trouble. Roman comes back with a headbutt and some right hands in the corner as the fans boo loudly. It’s back to a regular armbar until Roman fires off right hands to the head. A big clothesline puts Sheamus on the floor and one from the steps drops him again.
Rusev gets in a kick to the head though and we take a break. Back with both guys down and the League having been ejected. Roman sends him to the floor for another running clothesline before diving into the ring at seven. Cue HHH in fighting clothes and the fight is on so we’ll say the match is a DQ at 10:45.
Rating: D. These two really don’t have good matches together but that’s the perfect way for WWE to push them harder and harder every single time. Sheamus is right back where he belongs: as a midcarder who might win a title every now and then but is really just a guy that can be shuffled around as necessary.
A brawl breaks out as Sheamus has just disappeared. HHH hits him in the face/throat with the bell and then drives Reigns’ face into the table about 25 times. Reigns is badly busted open as the fans are LOUDLY cheering for HHH. A Pedigree onto the steps ends the show.
Overall Rating: C+. This was a show almost entirely built around storylines and there’s nothing wrong with that, especially when we’ve got less than six weeks before Wrestlemania. The Shane thing is big and sets up one of the main events, assuming that match actually takes place. I know Shane was awesome at one point, but it’s really a stretch to imagine him as a credible threat to Undertaker inside the Cell.
Other than that though, the wrestling was barely around tonight as everything was focused on getting to Wrestlemania in a hurry. The card is looking stronger now but they still have a long way to go to get out of the funk that Fastlane and its build put them in. Tonight was at least a big step in the right direction though.
Results
New Day b. Lucha Dragons/Neville – Trouble in Paradise to Cara
Usos b. Ascension – Superfly Splash to Viktor
Chris Jericho/AJ Styles b. Heath Slater/Curtis Axel – Walls of Jericho to Axel
Wyatt Family b. Kane/Big Show/Ryback – Sister Abigail to Kane
Sasha Banks b. Naomi – Bank Statement
Roman Reigns b. Sheamus via DQ when HHH interfered
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
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And I didn’t see this one coming.Shane McMahon just returned to open Raw. It seems that only his hair has aged though.
And there’s a video. In theory this is now a Wrestlemania match, meaning Bray vs. Brock could be off the books.
Also, how cool is it to see an actual angle that feels like it’s going on in real life? Why can that only happen for Wrestlemania?
Fastlane 2016
Date: February 21, 2016
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield
It’s the second pay per view of the year as we’re getting closer and closer to Wrestlemania. In this case we have a triple threat main event of Dean Ambrose vs. Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns for the #1 contendership in what should be one heck of a fight. Any of the three could win and that’s what can make this even better. Let’s get to it.
Pre-Show: US Title: Kalisto vs. Alberto Del Rio
Kalisto is defending and this is 2/3 falls. Del Rio goes right after the arm to start but Kalisto kicks away at the knees for a breather. JBL talks about how Goliath wins in real life as Kalisto hits the hurricanrana driver to set up a big dive out to the floor. Back in and Del Rio gets two off a snap suplex with Ranallo (only calling the pre-show) comparing this to a feud between rappers. Kalisto sends him into the post but Del Rio blasts him with a chair for the DQ, giving Kalisto the first fall at 4:05.
For some reason the second fall doesn’t being immediately so Del Rio whips him all around ringside as we take a break. Back with both guys in the ring and Del Rio demanding that the second fall begin. Well I mean Kalisto has only had about three and a half minutes to recover so maybe they should. Del Rio does a standing version of the double stomp in the corner for the pin at 7:35.
The third fall begins less than a minute after the second ends with Del Rio getting two off a clothesline. The full version of the top rope double stomp is countered with a hurricanrana though and Kalisto speeds things up with the corkscrew cross body. Another hurricanrana driver gets two and a running tornado DDT gets the same for the champion. Kalisto gets crotched on top and actually doesn’t counter the reverse superplex into the Salida Del Sol.
Instead Del Rio sends him out to the floor for another double stomp off the barricade. Kalisto dives back in to beat the count at nine and Del Rio is frustrated. He loads up ANOTHER top rope stomp (as in like the fifth one of the match) but Kalisto moves away. They go for what was supposed to be the Salida Del Sol but can’t quite get it, leaving Kalisto to send Del Rio into the buckle for a rollup pin at 14:30.
Rating: C-. I really wasn’t feeling this one as it felt like they were trying to showcase how many different ways Del Rio could do that one stupid move in a row. On top of that, Kalisto doesn’t even get to hit his big finishing move that made him a star in the first place and basically gets squashed until a fluke ending. I’m really not sure why this needed to be 2/3 falls and the match was a step down from their usually good stuff.
The opening video is the Eva Marie racecar theme with a focus on the main event.
Sasha Banks/Becky Lynch vs. Tamina/Naomi
Earlier today, Naomi said she and Tamina put the BAD in Team BAD. Never let her speak again. Becky tries to start but Sasha tags herself in, only to have Becky do the same thing a few seconds later. The quick legdrops nail Tamina with the spinning version getting two. Naomi comes in for her dancing kicks bug Becky throws Tamina down with a suplex and BAD gets dropped on the floor. Naomi comes back with something like a Stunner over the top rope to drop Becky. Unfortunately this means we have to hear the racecar sound effects on every replay which are already old.
Back in and Tamina clotheslines Lynch for two before it’s off to the chinlock. JBL: “Tamina could have been in the APA.” It’s off to Naomi for a legdrop and chinlock of her own before being sent back to the floor. Naomi pulls Sasha off the apron to break up a tag attempt, only to have Becky do some quick house cleaning and dive over for the hot tag to Sasha. It’s time for the knees all around until Naomi misses the double knees in the corner.
A backstabber sets up the Bank Statement but Tamina pulls Sasha out to the floor. Back in and the Rear View gets two, followed by Tamina’s superkick for the same with Becky breaking up the count. Sasha flips out of a double suplex and Becky comes in with a missile dropkick to both of them. The Bank Statement to Tamina and the Disarm-Her to Naomi are good for the double submission at 10:00.
Rating: C. This picked up a lot near the end but the first half was a lot of laying around in chinlocks and rest holds as we sat through Tamina and Naomi trying to have charisma. Naomi is one of those cases where you have to wonder what they were thinking. She’s incredibly athletic but for some reason they decide to make her a heel instead of focusing on all of her national abilities. Such is life in the Divas division.
We look back at the Intercontinental Title changing hands on Monday.
Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Kevin Owens
Owens is defending and Dolph’s hair is…..odd. They fight up against the ropes to start and Ziggler eats a headbutt. Owens’ chinlock is countered into something like a rear naked choke as we hear again about Ziggler’s amateur background which he almost never uses. Back up and Ziggler throws him HARD into the buckle for an awkward looking landing. You can tell it’s awkward as they show four replays of the thing.
We hit the chinlock from the champion until Ziggler avoids a charge, sending Owens shoulder first into the post. The rapid fire elbow drops get two for Dolph and Owens crotches him on the ropes to break up the running DDT. The Cannonball gets two, causing the champion to yell at Cole for talking bad about him. Now the DDT connects for two and Dolph loads up a superplex, only to have Kevin reverse into that spinning fisherman’s superplex.
Both guys roll outside with Ziggler superkicking him down for a near ten count. Back in and they trade more superkicks with Owens having to kick out at two and a half. JBL: “We’re at a superkick party!” They go outside again with the apron powerbomb being countered into a hurricanrana to send Owens into the steps. Back in again and Ziggler tunes up the band (which apparently is paying homage to Shawn Michaels because everything has to be), only to nearly kick the referee, allowing the Pop Up Powerbomb to retain Owens’ title at 15:02.
Rating: B-. Just a longer version of any given match they’ve had on Raw in recent months (and by recent I mean several because these guys fight like once every few weeks) with the obvious and logical ending. They tried to pump up the idea of Ziggler in front of his hometown but even then people stopped caring a long time ago. Could it be because Ziggler has been the same guy for years now?
We recap the Wyatts being all evil and attacking the old guys, which of course includes that old rascal Ryback.
Wyatt Family vs. Kane/Big Show/Ryback
Bray is on the floor, sitting in Byron Saxton’s chair. Ryback and Rowan get things going with the bearded one missing a charge in the corner. It’s off to Big Show for the loud chops on Erick’s exposed chest with Ryback coming in again for some of his own. Rowan elbows Ryback down and the tag brings in Harper for a dropkick of all things.
We get the Strowman appearance as the announcers hit all of their standard lines about how big and strong he really is. Like, really, really strong. Braun throws Ryback around and brings Rowan back in, allowing Ryback to hit a quick suplex. The hot tag brings in Kane as Cole brings up the Wyatts abducting Kane a few months back. Yeah remember that? It’s still every bit as stupid. Kane cleans house for a bit until they get him down in the corner to start the slow motion exchanges.
Braun drops an elbow to the back of the head as we get a Bill Kazmeier name drop. A running boot misses in the corner and the hot tag brings in Ryback to clean house. Ryback slams Harper five times in a row (Cole: “This is incredible!” No Cole, it isn’t.) before powerslamming him for good measure. Everything breaks down and Strowman is sent to the floor with Harper being tossed on top of his partners. Show spears (kind of) Strowman and Ryback Meathooks Harper. A Shell Shock (really a Samoan Drop) is enough to pin Harper at 10:36.
Rating: C. What? No really, what? There was no reason to have the Wyatts lose here and you have a team of makeshift goons go over them here? For what? Well at least Ryback got the pin and Bray didn’t…..yeah this isn’t working for me. I mean, how in the world do you have the Wyatts lose here? I honestly do not get this and I really don’t want to imagine where they’re going next.
Roman Reigns talks about how everything changes tonight between himself and Ambrose. Dean comes in and says they’re both going to Wrestlemania but he’s tired of hitchhiking. Reigns: “I wouldn’t book that trip just yet.” Ambrose: “I already booked it! I got a great deal on Priceline!” Neither of them are worried about Lesnar either.
We recap Brie Bella vs. Charlotte, which is built around Daniel Bryan retiring and Charlotte mocking Brie for her husband having to quit. Brie pinned her in a non-title match to earn the shot tonight.
Divas Title: Brie Bella vs. Charlotte
Charlotte is defending and throws Brie (wearing Bryan’s kick pads) down face first to start. That gets us the first mock YES chant of the match as Byron talks about Brie wanting to listen to the birds chirp, sending JBL into a hilarious rant about how stupid that sounds. Brie comes back with some forearms and an armdrag, allowing her to WOO and strut because this is really about Flair.
Charlotte sends her out to the floor for a few moments before Brie counters an Alabama Slam into a sunset flip for two. Back in and Charlotte cranks on both arms but Brie tries (and horribly fails) at a YES Lock attempt, eventually settling for a crucifix for two. A Backpack Stunner breaks up Brie’s sleeper and we hit a Figure Four Neck Lock into those rolling flips. JBL: “Maybe Charlotte is just tired of the birds chirping.”
The BRIE MODE running knee sets up a Nikki Bella forearm for two. Charlotte comes back with chops (because neither of them can do anything but tribute moves) but the Figure Eight is broken up. A dropkick knocks Charlotte outside, followed by a missile dropkick back inside. As is so often the case in a Flair match though, Brie comes up holding her knee.
That doesn’t stop her from firing off the YES Kicks (of course), followed by a Bella Buster for two. The Figure Eight is countered into the YES Lock but Brie swaps that for a half crab to prevent Ric from interfering. Charlotte finally kicks her off and a quick Figure Eight makes Brie tap at 12:14.
Rating: C+. The match was better than it had any right to be but amazingly enough, the combined forces of Daniel Bryan and Nikki Bella weren’t enough to make me care about Brie. That kind of shortcut booking rarely works for me, especially when you have someone like Brie who has been a loser and such a horrible in ring worker for so long. You can’t just forget about that kind of stuff, no matter which of her relatives are hurt. But at least Charlotte got pinned clean, which of course no one is going to remember.
We recap AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho, which is basically Sami Zayn vs. Cesaro from NXT minus the 2/3 falls stipulation because Kalisto vs. Del Rio needed to go six or seven falls. They split the first two matches and AJ convinced Jericho to do it again here tonight. This is almost guaranteed to be one of the better matches on the card.
Jericho talks about how you’re only as good as your last match, which he promises to prove to AJ tonight.
AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho
Feeling out process to start and AJ has to fight out of an early Walls attempt. Jericho has to do the same to avoid the Calf Crusher, which starts the dueling chants. AJ drops a knee for two and it’s time to slug it out. A top rope ax handle drops AJ, who pops right back up with a dropkick. The chants start up again as the fans are definitely more into this than anything else all night.
They head outside with Jericho sending him hard into the barricade before slapping on a chinlock. JBL compares AJ coming over here to Kobashi or Hansen coming over from Japan in their primes. AJ fights up and sends Jericho to the floor, only to dive into a dropkick to the chest. Another chinlock doesn’t get Chris very far as AJ fights back and hits a running forearm to a seated Jericho.
They mess up the moonsault into the reverse DDT (to be fair that’s a really hard move to pull off) and Jericho scores with the enziguri for two. A Tesshocker (belly to back suplex into a faceplant) gets two more for AJ, only to have Jericho come back with a bulldog and Lionsault for another near fall. AJ comes back and tries the springboard forearm but Jericho springboards into the dropkick to break it up. The Pele stuns Jericho on the top and AJ loads up a super hurricanrana which is countered into the Walls.
AJ gets the break so Jericho throws him outside and puts him in the Walls on the floor. A Codebreaker brings AJ back in but he’s way too close to the ropes. AJ’s striking sequence is countered into a tiger bomb which is countered into the Styles Clash for a very close near fall. Now it’s back to the Calf Crusher and Jericho finally taps at 16:28.
Rating: B. Were you expecting anything else here? They’ve had good matches the previous two times and this worked as well, though I liked their Smackdown match a little bit better. Jericho tapping clean in the middle of the ring is the right ending because you can quickly build him up for whatever you want him to do at Wrestlemania while AJ can move on to a feud he might actually lose.
Post match Jericho does the false heel turn into the handshake.
Kickoff recap.
We look back at New Day dancing a lot on Smackdown.
It’s time for the Cutting Edge Peep Show (as hosted by Edge and Christian of course) with special guests the New Day. Edge plugs their new show (Christian: “Watch it. It’s awesome.”) but asks if we can be serious for a minute (Edge: “Lance Storm just got real mad.”) because it’s really nice to be here. This is where the first tag team ladder match took place and it’s where they received their very first standing ovation…..and here’s New Day.
They immediately ask who (WHO WHO WHO) cares about what Edge and Christian did back in the day. It’s time to be out with the old and in with the new, the New Day that is of course. Christian wants to talk about New Day’s history, which started with the power of positivity, which was brutal and lead to indifference. Edge: “I’ve never seen so much chocolate act so vanilla.” Then something happened even faster than Kofi dropped his fake Jamaican accent. Edge: “It’s like if we had a threesome with his Beyonce, you would be our love child.”
New Day is accused of ripping on local sports teams before doing just that. There’s nothing wrong with an old classic. Kofi doesn’t like the idea that New Day is called Edge and Christian ripoffs before going into a rant about how lame the current tag team division really is. Apparently the League of Nations doesn’t think much of New Day (and apparently WWE doesn’t think much of the League as they can’t get onto a show with six matches). Woods says New Day has already cooked the deal and now the League of Nations is hot garbage. Edge: “I’m starting to like you guys.”
This brings out the League with Sheamus agreeing that New Day does look stupid. Woods says they can’t get into a battle of fisticuffs because it’s a day of rest and they’re leaving. Edge: “But King Barrett hasn’t gotten to stare at anyone menacingly yet!” Del Rio brings up making Edge retire five years ago, though Edge thinks he’s accomplished more than Alberto in those five years. The Canadians leave and it’s time for New Day to dance in the aisle as Edge and Christian do one more plug. There were some funny lines here but this was even more filler on a show full of it already.
Here are the Social Outcasts with something to say. Bo gives us some safety tips on the Road to Wrestlemania before Rose calls the team a group of beautiful Priuses. Bo: “Can I be a Volvo? They have great safety ratings.” They go on for a bit until it’s time for an impromptu match.
R-Truth vs. Curtis Axel
Axel grabs a headlock to start but it’s time for Truth to dance and gyrate. Curtis gets in a shot and we get a victory lap, only to have Goldust come out to support Truth. Goldust trips Axel but then throws Rose inside for no logical reason, allowing Axel to grab a rollup for the pin at 2:15.
Post match Truth walks away again, as he should after that stupid move.
We recap the main event, which was made basically on a whim by Stephanie, which really doesn’t leave HHH with an easy match for Wrestlemania. They’ve teased some issues between Reigns and Ambrose and both guys want to fight Lesnar again. Lesnar has stared at HHH, at least when the champion had the time to appear on a show with the belt.
Roman Reigns vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Brock Lesnar
Winner gets the title shot at Wrestlemania so we get some Big Match Intros. Brock drives Ambrose into the corner before throwing Reigns with the first suplex. A second German suplex sends Reigns flying but Dean comes back in with a missile dropkick to stagger Brock. Dean tries a German suplex on Brock but gets a hard glare and a belly to belly for his efforts.
Ambrose gets dropped on his head and it’s back to Suplex City for Reigns. The fourth German sets up an F5 with Ambrose making the save. Lesnar chuckles at Dean, who slaps Brock in the face. That earns Dean a series of knees to the ribs and a German of his own. The fans, who seem to like Ambrose, want to see more suplexes. The F5 is broken up by a spear to give Reigns two but he Superman Punches Brock to the floor. Reigns dives into an F5, only to have Dean hit Lesnar low to make the save.
A DoubleBomb through the table (good looking one too) puts Brock through the table, leaving Reigns and Ambrose to have a fight for the title shot. Dean’s bulldog gets two and we get the BOO/YAY slugout. The Rebound Lariat drops Reigns and Brock is almost to his feet. He feels like a boss in a video game at this point. Reigns and Ambrose are smart enough to go after Brock and drive him into the barricade to keep him in trouble.
That means it’s time for a second table and a second DoubleBomb. This time they bury Brock underneath the pieces of the table but Reigns punches Dean in the jaw, drawing even more booing. Back in and Dean dives into a Superman Punch but the spear is blocked with a knee. Dirty Deeds gets a very close two and Dean POINTS TO THE SIGN.
Another Dirty Deeds is countered as Reigns lifts Dean to his shoulders…..and Brock comes back in to German suplex both of them at the same time. Brock is spent though and Reigns nails a spear, only to get caught in the Kimura. Dean finally comes in with a series of chair shots to Brock’s back, followed by some more to Reigns. Roman pops up with a spear to Ambrose for the pin and the title shot at 16:47.
Rating: B. Where’s the last five minutes of this? They were starting in on something with the chair and then Reigns just speared Dean for the win. Brock was treated better here and looked like a star but I’m still mostly over the German suplexes. At least the Wyatts didn’t interfere, which is pretty much what most people (certainly myself included) figured would happen. Good match but the ending was really sudden.
Reigns gets a lot of pyro until HHH comes out for the staredown to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. The show had good action and the wrestling was much better than I was expecting but sweet goodness it felt long. So much of this stuff felt like it was being packed in because they NEEDED a pay per view this month. If nothing else, hopefully this teaches WWE (HA!) that airing matches over and over on TV before the pay per view isn’t a good booking method. Watchable show and even good at times but I’m never going to want to watch this again.
Results
Becky Lynch/Sasha Banks b. Naomi/Tamina – Bank Statement to Tamina
Kevin Owens b. Dolph Ziggler – Pop Up Powerbomb
Ryback/Big Show/Kane b. Wyatt Family – Shell Shock to Harper
Charlotte b. Brie Bella – Figure Eight
AJ Styles b. Chris Jericho – Calf Crusher
Roman Reigns b. Brock Lesnar and Dean Ambrose – Spear to Ambrose
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Smackdown
Date: February 18, 2016
Location: Citizens Bank Business Arena, Ontario, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, Jerry Lawler
We’re three days away from Fastlane and the big story tonight is Brock Lesnar making a very rare Smackdown appearance. There’s no word on what he’ll be doing but you can assume it might have something to do with Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns, who are teaming together to face the Dudley Boyz tonight. Let’s get to it.
We open with a long recap of Ambrose losing the Intercontinental Title on Monday thanks to Stephanie’s influence.
Opening sequence.
No Mauro Ranallo tonight due to a bout with the flu.
League of Nations vs. Dolph Ziggler/Lucha Dragons
Kevin Owens is on commentary. Kalisto and Rusev get things going with the masked man firing off kicks to the meaty Bulgarian thighs. Alberto comes in and gets taken down with a standing Lionsault for two. An old Jack Brisco spinning sunset flip out of the corner looks to get two for Cara but he tagged Kalisto by mistake. Everything breaks down for a bit and the Dragons dive through the ropes to take down Sheamus and Del Rio, followed by Ziggler coming off the top to elbow all three of them as we take a break.
Back with Rusev holding Cara in a chinlock before it’s off to Del Rio for a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. That means it’s time for another chinlock from Alberto, followed by some Irish Curses from Sheamus for two. Owens goes on a funny bit about not liking idiots but having other reasons to not like Cole.
Cara finally kicks Del Rio down and tags in Ziggler to speed things up. Dolph’s superkick to Sheamus is broken up but the running DDT works a bit better. Everything breaks down and Del Rio kicks Cara in the mask, followed by throwing Kalisto hard into the barricade. Back inside, Ziggler hits a quick Fameasser for two on Sheamus, which draws Owens off commentary. The distraction lets Sheamus nail a Brogue Kick for the pin on Dolph at 11:27.
Rating: C-. So the League gets a pin on the #1 contender despite none of them having a match on Sunday’s pay per view card. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary here though and that’s pretty good for the most part. The wrestling was fine and they went with the formula that they’ve perfected on Smackdown, meaning this was acceptable but nothing I’ll remember in about an hour.
Owens leaves with Ziggler’s vest.
Tamina vs. Sasha Banks
Sasha gets slammed head first into the mat to start but flips out of a belly to back suplex to get away for a bit. The running knees in the corner have Tamina in trouble and Naomi gets knocked off the apron. A sitout bulldog sets up the Bank Statement to make Tamina tap at 2:22.
Sasha gets beaten down post match until Becky makes the save, only to be shoved away by her partner. This continues a simple story but it’s been booked well.
Post break Becky wants to know what that was. They’re coming up on Wrestlemania and it’s going to take a win at Fastlane to give them momentum. If Sasha wants to let her ego get in the way of their Wrestlemania moment, Becky is done right now. They agree to fight together on Sunday.
Here’s Chris Jericho to address AJ Styles’ challenge to him from Monday. Jericho is ready to answer but he wants AJ to be here face to face. Instead here’s the Miz to interrupt with an announcement of his own. Jericho hopes that it’s Miz quitting the business because everyone has been begging for it for years. Miz says he isn’t quitting but he certainly wouldn’t do it here. The announcement is that he’s ready to fight Jericho here and now, which earns him a throw to the floor.
Chris Jericho vs. The Miz
Thankfully this starts after a break instead of that stupid ring the bell and go to a break thirty seconds later. A suplex puts Miz down and it’s time for some right hands in the corner. Miz sends him into the post as the announcers debate what celebrity lists these two are on. The fans want AJ but get a knee to Jericho’s back and a chinlock. That goes nowhere so Jericho dropkicks him and goes up, only to get punched in the face. A trip to the floor doesn’t do much as Miz takes him back inside for more left hands to the face. We take a break and come back with Miz holding a chinlock.
The Reality Check gets two and it’s right back to the chinlockery. Jericho fights back again with an ax handle and counters another Reality Check (like any signature move, it’s only one per midcard match) into a failed Walls attempt. Miz’s short DDT and big boot get two each so he starts ripping at Jericho’s face in the corner. The running corner clothesline is easily countered into the Walls though and Miz taps at 12:22.
Rating: C+. As has been the case lately, Miz is on a roll and having a string of good matches. Now maybe that’s due to having matches against Chris Jericho and AJ Styles but at least it’s been better than the usual five minute nothings that he does every week. He’s been a good cog for this feud and kept things from being the normal tropes. Good stuff here as Miz continues to be a pleasant surprise lately.
Post match Jericho calls out AJ for the big answer. AJ comes out but Jericho doesn’t seem interested in wrestling him again. He respects Styles but doesn’t really like him, which is why there won’t be a third match. AJ blasts him in the face with his striking sequence and that’s enough for Jericho to change his mind. That’s rather heelish of AJ, who lost clean last week and now uses violence to get what he wants.
We look back at Heyman and Reigns’ exchange on Monday.
Ambrose says he’s fine after losing the title on Monday but tonight he just wants to go fight. That’s fine with Reigns, but Dean better not try that Dirty Deeds stuff again. Reigns leaves and Dean runs into Heyman. Paul shakes off Ambrose’s threats by saying Brock is here and he wants a piece of Dean. That’s freaks Ambrose out so badly that he asks Heyman for advice before deciding to deal with Brock on his own later.
New Day says they can’t wait to be on the Cutting Edge Peep Show because they’re real musicians. On Sunday they’re ready to get in their stretch limousine and make their way to the Hall of Fame. Edge and Christian are out of style because it’s not the 1990s again. Tromboning and dancing (a LOT of dancing) take us out.
Video on Charlotte, as sponsored by Geico.
Charlotte vs. Natalya
Non-title and Natalya gets the jobber entrance. Charlotte’s early headscissors attempt doesn’t work so Natalya grabs a headlock and hits a quick basement dropkick to send Charlotte outside. Ric tries to give some advice and we take a break before coming back to see Charlotte spinning out of a leg lock. Charlotte bails to the floor and a Ric distraction lets her kick Natalya in the face. Back in and it’s off to the bodyscissors for a bit before Natalya fights up and sends her outside with a German suplex. Charlotte pulls the ring skirt away though to tweak Natalya’s knee, setting up the Figure Eight for the submission at 7:40.
Rating: C-. This was fine as Natalya continues to be fine as the veteran jobber. I mean, I still don’t buy for a second that Brie is going to win the title on Sunday, even for a feel good title change to cash in on Daniel Bryan. Charlotte is getting the hang of the main roster now that she has a character but Ric needs to go as there’s really no need for him.
Post match Charlotte does the YES chants to draw Brie out. The YES Kicks send Charlotte running and a YES chant starts.
This week, Goldust is Dusta Rhymes and has some bad rap. Truth likes it to start but eventually turns him down with a rap of his own. Goldust looks sad, which makes me think they might not wind up teaming after all. At least it’s different than the Booker T. formula.
We look back at the Wyatts going even crazier and the ending of Monday’s show.
Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose vs. Dudley Boyz
They take their sweet time on the entrances until Ambrose and D-Von get things going. Dean gets early near falls of a cross body and bulldog before it’s off to Bubba. A lot of shouting is enough to bring Reigns in and the crowd….doesn’t seem to care. Bubba wins a slugout and elbows Reigns in the back of the head but charges into a Samoan Drop. D-Von gets double suplexed and Bubba is sent to the floor as we take a break.
Back with Bubba cranking on Dean’s neck and the reverse 3D getting two. D-Von slaps on a chinlock (despite not actually grabbing the chin) and it’s back to Bubba for some stomping. The slow paced (and mostly ineffective) offense continues with another D-Von chinlock. It doesn’t help that we’re just waiting for Brock to come out here. Bubba tries to start a LET’S GO AMBROSE chant but it’s a Reigns distraction allowing Dean to knock Bubba down on the top rope.
Thankfully a few right hands aren’t enough to even things up and Bubba knocks him off, only to miss the backsplash. The hot tag brings in Reigns to clean house with the usual but he loads up the Superman Punch right before Brock’s music hits. The Dudleys use the entrance for a sneak attack but Reigns blocks the 3D. Dean dives onto D-Von but Brock decks him for the DQ at 13:08.
Rating: D+. This really didn’t work as most of it was the Dudleys doing slow offense until Brock came out. It wasn’t even a secret as we got a BROCK LESNAR TONIGHT graphic before the match. At least they did something besides the League of Nations to put the Shield boys over for a change though, which they’ve been getting better at in recent weeks.
Brock cleans house post match until Reigns gets in a Superman Punch. The spear almost hits Ambrose though and Dean tries Dirty Deeds, earning himself a Samoan Drop. Brock F5’s Reigns but here’s HHH (how nice of him to make an appearance as his title has been the main focus lately) to stare Brock down to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. They’ve been picking things up lately around here and it’s been a nice change of pace. This has felt a lot more like the wrestling show that Raw just isn’t and that’s the best thing Smackdown can really be. If nothing else this was a good way to help set up Fastlane, which had a good build all night, even if it’s for a weak pay per view.
Results
League of Nations b. Dolph Ziggler/Lucha Dragons – Brogue Kick to Ziggler
Sasha Banks b. Tamina – Bank Statement
Chris Jericho b. The Miz – Walls of Jericho
Charlotte b. Natalya – Figure Eight
Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose b. Dudley Boyz via DQ when Brock Lesnar interfered
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