Alas it’s a holiday show and that means they’re really not going to be putting in much effort. I get the idea behind it, but it gets really tiring watching them out there on a show that means nothing and clearly just filling in time before next week’s special episode where for some reason they try to fight off a Monday Night Football doubleheader instead of having a nothing show that night and then doing a major show after Night of Champions and starting the build from there. Then again, when has WWE ever done something that makes sense? Let’s get to it.

Rollins opened the show with his weekly address where he talks to the fans like they’ve never seen an episode of Raw before by recapping his entire title reign. I’m always of the mindset that each episode is someone’s first time watching, but recapping the fact that you beat Brock Lesnar really doesn’t mean anything when you’re fighting Sting and John Cena while Lesnar is nowhere in sight. It’s recapping for the sake of filling in time and for the sake of WWE thinking its fans are stupid which gets old fast.

This brought him to Sting and the statue, which needs to get destroyed already and be done with it. Sting had the statue with him in front of a dark background, which is certainly just a corner of the arena somewhere and not in front of something that will be a big surprise later on.

Sheamus came out as well to tease the Money in the Bank cash-in at Night of Champions because it’s the fall and therefore time to start teasing the cash-in like they do EVERY SINGLE YEAR BECAUSE THAT’S THE STORY THEY CAME UP WITH AND IT HAS TO BE THE SAME STUPID THING EVERY TIME SINCE WE JUST HAVE TO HAVE THAT STUPID BRIEFCASE FLOATING AROUND ALL THE FREAKING TIME! Just cash it in, let Sheamus lose or have a month long title reign and be done with it already so we can have a break before the whole thing starts over again in July.

After a break, Rollins came in to see Mama and Papa Helmsley, who have the whole thing covered because Seth can’t handle an old man without them. Of course no one ever says “hey, let’s go find the cameraman and ask him where he was. Like, there has to be a cable leading to his camera somewhere right?” That’s heresy in WWE though, because we need to praise HHH and Stephanie in their cameo while they’re not really in the arena because not even they watch Raw on Labor Day. Rollins gets two wrestle twice tonight because the Authority treats like like a child.

Paige and Sasha had their same decent match that ended with Naomi distracting Paige so Sasha could get a small package pin. I think this leads to a Paige heel turn, which could be interesting once we get done with the never ending team feuds.

Now we get to the part of the show that actually got on my nerves, which almost never happens: Ambrose and Reigns squashed the Ascension, who had been put together with Stardust in a group on Smackdown. However, since the people who put Raw together don’t seem to watch Smackdown, none of that mattered because Reigns and Ambrose needed opponents for a squash.

I have no problem with Ambrose and Reigns beating someone up, but if they’re trying to do something with Ascension, don’t put them out there to get squashed. You could put any two goofs out there and have them lose in three minutes. You have how many people who haven’t done anything important in months (Heath Slater, Curtis Axel, Damien Sandow, Adam Rose, Fandango etc) but why use any of them?

Instead you put out a team that needs to be rebuilt in the worst way after WWE screwed them up in the first place by having Booker and JBL treat them like idiots and then having the Outlaws and APA, two mostly retired teams, attack them for a nostalgia segment. I’ve said this many times before, but WWE has no idea how to use its roster. They focus on a handful of people and forget everyone else. Put up a big board of everyone on your roster and label it “PEOPLE WE CAN USE” or something, but stop wasting a team that could go somewhere for a spot that any two jobbers could use.

Oh and again, this is what NXT fans are always afraid of: why bother bringing people up if they’re going to be completely wasted for the sake of whatever stupid idea the main show has for them? What does that develop and how is it a good use of the system they have in place? It’s because the people who put together the main show can’t stop and pay attention for five seconds, because the match was less than three minutes long. Any two warm bodies could have done this job as well as Konor/Viktor, but that’s who we get and we’re just supposed to go with it on Smackdown when they’re featured again. Thank you WWE.

Ryback and Owens continue to stare at each other and their feud (is it even a feud yet? Don’t you have to do more than look at and insult each other to constitute a feud?) is still intriguing.

We get a long recap of Ziggler/Summer/Lana and it’s so cheesy that it’s getting awesome. Embrace the fact that it’s a soap opera and it’s a lot easier to bear.

Ryback beat Rollins in the first long match of the night. I still really like Ryback at the moment and it’s cool to see him get a big win, even if it was due to a Sting distraction. They’re building a good Intercontinental Champion with Ryback, and above all else there’s one key: he’s treating the title like it matters. Couple that with actually defending the thing and he’s one of the better champions in a long time.

Rollins (who I’m sick of from this show alone) runs into New Day, who he’s teaming with later. The Dudleyz come in, as do Edge and Christian for a cameo. This turns into the trombone vs. the kazoo, which are both totally awesome. This was great.

Summer Rae/Rusev/Ziggler did some stuff, with only Summer referring to Rusev as Ru Ru being noteworthy.

Orton, Sheamus, RKO, sixteen minutes. I need to get away from this match before I nod off.

The Wyatts beat up Orton for hanging out with Reigns/Ambrose earlier. I like this idea the more I think about it and they’re setting the stage for an outsider to be there to save the Shield boys.

The Dudleyz squashed Los Matadores so they could turn on El Torito. Didn’t they do this before and nothing came of it?

Big Show caused Miz vs. Cesaro to go to a double countout. I guess they’re just swapping Cesaro for Ryback in this feud? That’s their best idea?

The Bellas and PCB had your standard build to next week’s title match where Nikki tapped to the Figure Eight.

John Cena, with the Prime Time Players, beat New Day. This was nothing special and was really just there to fill in some time.

Sting threw the statue into a garbage truck to end the show. He did a little dance around it, which was actually cool because I’ve always loved how Sting moves. It’s different enough from everyone else to make it look cool.

This show wasn’t the worst they’ve ever done but there was a distinct lack of energy to the show all night. The only major thing was the destruction of the statue, which we’ve been waiting weeks for now. It was clear that they were trying to fill in time though, which has to happen every week but it’s a lot harder to sit through when they’re being so blatant with it. The “season premiere” next week should be better, but a bit of energy is all it would take.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: September 10, 2015
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Rich Brennan, Booker T., Jerry Lawler

We finally got to the point and had Sting destroy the statue on Raw to end the teasing for the last few weeks. Other than that we also have John Cena vs. Seth Rollins II coming up, which should be a better match and might even get us the US Open Challenges back on Raw. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s the Wyatt Family to get things going. Harper says Bray’s words will show you the way. Bray talks about how smart Roman Reigns really is but he doesn’t care about any single fan or about what any of the fans think about him. If Reigns is ever to fulfill his destiny and become WWE World Heavyweight Champion, the people must get on their hands and knees to bow down to Reigns. Anyone but you Roman.

Dean Ambrose on the other hand is cursed with loyalty to someone he believes to be his brother. Ambrose is missing a few pieces upstairs and deserves a warning. The two groups have become a modern day Hatfields and McCoys and will fight each other forever. It doesn’t matter who is joining Reigns and Ambrose at Night of Champions and everyone will fall to the Wyatts. Run.

Cesaro vs. The Miz

Rematch from Monday when Big Show interfered. Miz takes a few moments to take the glasses off so Cesaro, with his ribs taped again, hiptosses him down. The big dropkick knocks Miz off the top and out to the floor, leading to a chase scene. Back in and Miz starts kicking at the ribs before dropping Cesaro across the top rope. Off to a waistlock with Miz’s legs but Cesaro turns around and muscles Miz up into a suplex. As usual, that’s scary strength. Some more shots to the ribs have Cesaro in trouble but he grabs the leg and rolls over into the Sharpshooter for the submission at 4:38.

Rating: C-. Basic match here but that’s all it needed to be. The rib work was fine and I’m glad they didn’t have Cesaro win with a power move while barely selling the ribs. I can live with lifting Miz up into the suplex as it’s a single spot instead of doing the same thing over and over again. Also, how nice is it to see Cesaro get a clean fall for a change?

Jimmy Uso is very excited to be Reigns and Ambrose’s partner tonight.

Paige vs. Sasha Banks

Again. Both teams get in a brawl before the match and the other four are ejected. Paige grabs a quick rollup and backslide for two each and a sunset flip gets another near fall. With the quick wins not working, Paige knees Sasha in the face to send her outside. Sasha gets in a shot to the ribs to leave Paige laying as we take a break. Back with Sasha choking on the ropes and getting two off the double knees in the corner.

We hit a quickly broken chinlock before a shot to the ribs sets up chinlock’s sequel. Paige fights up with a running knee in the corner and some kicks to the face but Sasha pokes her in the eye. Paige bails into the corner before spearing Sasha down, triggering a brawl for the double DQ at around 9:00.

Rating: D+. I really wasn’t feeling this one and it came off like a bit way to fill in time instead of having a good match. You would think Charlotte would have played a bigger role here as she has a title shot in four days, though you can almost guarantee that she doesn’t, likely due to a Paige heel turn.

Both groups come out to brawl until referees break it up.

We see most of the end of Monday’s six man tag and Sting destroying his statue. This eats up ten minutes.

Rollins calls Monday the low point of his career because Sting destroyed the proof of his talent. He’s requested a lumberjack match with Ryback tonight so all of the lumberjacks can see that he’s still the best in the world. Sheamus comes up and says Rollins might have three matches at Night of Champions. Or maybe two matches tonight.

New Day vs. Jimmy Uso/Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns

No trombone this week. Woods goes behind Reigns to start but eventually gets his jaw jacked by an uppercut. Off to Ambrose who stalks Woods around the ring until Big E. comes in and takes Dean’s head off with a clothesline. That goes nowhere until Jimmy comes in to clean house as Ambrose takes Woods out with a suicide dive. Uso dives on Woods and Kingston but Big E. pulls Jimmy over the top and out to the floor as we take a break. There’s really no reason for this match to continue, other than this match needs to fill in time on this meaningless show.

Back with Jimmy in trouble and Woods busting out the trombone. Kofi slams Jimmy head first onto the mat but Woods charges into a superkick. Roman gets the hot tag and cleans house with a nice tilt-a-whirl slam to Xavier, followed by a string of clotheslines in the corner. The apron kick knocks Woods even sillier and the Samoan drop puts Big E. down. Dirty Deeds does the same to Woods and there’s a Superman Punch for good measure. Jimmy goes up top for the splash but the lights go out. When they come back, Jimmy is out cold on the stage. Wyatt’s voice says “they all fall down” and the match is a no contest at 13:08.

Rating: C-. So in other words, this was Jimmy Uso substituting for Randy Orton after a long match that didn’t change anything. Not a good match for the most part but it got a lot better once Reigns came in and cleaned house. It’s a good story but I’m scared of who they might bring in as a partner, especially if it winds up being Erick Rowan or Kane.

Lucha Dragons vs. Ascension

Stardust is with the Ascension and we’re just supposed to forget that they got squashed on Monday. Or maybe we’re supposed to forget everything they do here because only Raw counts. I lose track sometimes. Cara hits his springboard cross body to Viktor before it’s off to Kalisto for some kicks to the face. Everything breaks down for a few moments until Viktor takes Kalisto down with the STO. The Fall of Man puts Kalisto away at 1:40.

The Dragons get beaten down until Neville makes the save.

Nikki Bella accuses Charlotte of being jealous of her. Charlotte comes in and says Nikki’s record attempt ends Monday. Nikki can call her whatever she likes tonight because on Monday, she’ll be calling Charlotte champion.

Seth Rollins vs. Ryback

Lumberjack match and non-title in a rematch of Ryback pinning Rollins on Monday. A shoulder puts Rollins down to start but the champ flips out of a suplex. That’s fine with Ryback as he throws Seth to the floor, only to have Rollins run back inside and send Ryback into the post. All of the lumberjacks are about to fight and we take a break. Back with Rollins getting two off a Sling Blade but charging into a fall away slam. Ryback starts cranking it up with clotheslines and a sitout powerslam for two.

Big Show starts beating people up at ringside and knocks Mark Henry out. All the other lumberjacks tell him to get out, leaving about half of them left at ringside. A spinebuster puts Rollins down again and Ryback backdrops him onto the remaining people. The heel lumberjacks come in and beat Ryback down until the good lumberjacks make the save. Neville dropkicks Stardust to the floor and moonsaults onto everyone……this match is continuing. Apparently lumberjack matches are No DQ, meaning Kevin Owens is allowed to trip Ryback, allowing Rollins to hit the Pedigree for the pin at 11:55.

Rating: D+. I’m so glad they threw in the fact that this was No DQ with a minute and a half to go so they could have all of the insanity. It felt like the gimmick was there because it helped them get to the finish, which was their beloved 50/50 booking. I’m so glad that Ryback got to beat Rollins on Monday, only to have Rollins come out on top here to make sure it’s all even. You wouldn’t want Ryback to get away with a meaningless win. People might start caring about him and that would just be a disaster.

Overall Rating: D-. What a waste of my time. You had four matches and three of them were rematches from Raw. The one original match was a way to hammer in the exact same point that we covered on Raw with Orton. In case that’s not enough Raw for you, how about showing the last ten minutes of the show to fill in even more time? This was a huge waste of two hours and basically a commercial for Raw, which is going to be a commercial for Night of Champions. In other words, this was the least important episode of Smackdown in a long time and that covers a lot of ground.

Results

Cesaro b. The Miz – Sharpshooter

Paige vs. Sasha Banks went to a double DQ when both women brawled

Jimmy Uso/Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose vs. New Day went to a no contest when the Wyatt Family interfered

Ascension b. Lucha Dragons – Fall of Man to Kalisto

Seth Rollins b. Ryback – Pedigree

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

So…..yeah I’ve missed these for a few weeks. I know I missed the week before this but it’s a stretch to do one of these for this show and going back another week would be even worse. Anyway, it’s eight days after Summerslam and Sting is back to go after Seth Rollins, despite having losing his only match in the company. Let’s get to it.

We opened with Sting and that still doesn’t feel right in WWE. Sting was out there to talk about Rollins, but this somehow turned into a love fest for HHH. His speech was about how losing to HHH (who hit him in the head with a sledgehammer) earned his respect and Rollins will never be half the man that HHH is. Sting is going to prove that Rollins hasn’t earned the respect that he’s claiming, which is Sting’s entire character in a nutshell.

In other words, this feud is now going to be about HHH, because it sets up the feud with HHH vs. Rollins, which has been coming for months now it seems. I like the idea, but it would be a bit nicer if these were shades of gray instead of just making it clear that this is where the feud is going. I’m still not sure if Sting wins the title or not, though they seem to be making it a bit too clear that Sheamus is cashing in. I know WWE likes to beat things over our heads because they think we’re idiots, but this is almost too obvious. Therefore, I’m thinking Rollins retains over Sting, which almost guarantees that Sting gets the belt.

Rollins wanted his statue so Stephanie made sure to praise HHH a bit (made sense here for a change) before telling him to go ask Sting. This would be another segment that really didn’t change anything but why bother with something like that?

Rusev and Ziggler had a long match that ended in a DQ because this is destined to end in a mixed tag. Well at least it was. Now the interesting part here was where this went for the rest of the night, as Summer would be seen sneaking into Ziggler locker room before then running off screaming as Ziggler came out mostly sans clothing.

This got us into a soap opera which has been going ever since and I hate to admit the fact that I’m kind of loving it. Above all else: they’ve given me a reason to care. There’s a story here that is so over the top and ridiculous that it’s hard not to get sucked in, even though I know it’s bad. It helps that Rusev is left playing the role of muscle while everyone else does the drama, which is a much better fit for him. Well done all around Well that and Lana’s new outfit. That’s kind of a big plus too.

The best thing about this story though is I’m not sure if Ziggler cheated on Lana or not. Granted it’s about as low stake as you can get, but there’s always something good about not knowing where a story is going. It could be either ending here, though hopefully it ends with Ziggler going full on heel again because Dolph being noble and loyal to Lana doesn’t fit him in the slightest.

One of the other big stories of the night was Team PCB having a Beat the Clock Challenge for the right to face Nikki Bella for the title at Night of Champions. Charlotte wound up winning in something not really surprising, but I lost almost all interest in the Divas division (yeah it’s not a revolution, no matter how many times they’ve hammered it into our head that it’s a revolution) after the last month wasting our time. The matches were nothing special because of how short the time was, but at least we’re FINALLY getting to the title hunt, even if it means we have to listen to Nikki talk about being some empowered woman or whatever.

Ryback beat Big Show in a short match thanks to Miz, which seems to be the blowoff for this feud. I can’t say I’m complaining as I really didn’t need to see these three fight any longer. Big Show still seems to want to go after Miz, but at least they can’t be fighting over a title anytime soon. The match was short and a way for Ryback to show off his power, which he’s done about a dozen times on Big Show, which is why the company thinks it’s so impressive.

Kevin Owens beat Cesaro in a really good Summerslam rematch where Owens knocked him ribs first into the announcers’ table to injure Cesaro’s ribs. This was a good win for Owens and wraps up their feud, unfortunately with Cesaro getting swept but fortunately with no rubber match that WWE loves to put on. Owens seems primed for a shot at the Intercontinental Title and that’s a great spot for him right now, whether he wins the title or not.

Braun Strowman squashed Dean Ambrose, which is the best thing that he could have done for his first official match. The guy is a monster and he can tear a path of destruction for a few months until someone finally knocks him off. Just don’t make it obvious that he’s going to eventually be knocked off and everything will be fine.

The Dudleyz beat New Day in a non-title match because they have to have a champion lose once every few weeks, just to keep them interesting you see. Also because they don’t have any other teams to beat down besides the ones with the titles. More on that next week.

The big segment to end the show had Rollins demanding his statue back but being told by the Authority that he has to defend both titles at Night of Champions. Stephanie talked a lot but I usually get lost when she talks because all I can hear are buzzwords and charities that I’ll never hear of again because Stephanie has moved on to something else for her cause of the month. She does quite a few charity bits no?

Overall, Raw was a really solid show this week with almost everything serving a purpose or at least being good. Night of Champions is looking like an awesome show instead of the filler show that it so often is. We’re still waiting on that statue to be destroyed but I’m sure it’s going down soon enough. Good week this time though as they’re actually hot right now.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 7, 2015
Location: Royal Farms Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton, Michael Cole

It’s a holiday show, which means we might not be in for the most action packed episode this week. Coming out of this weekend, the question is what does John Cena’s potential injury mean for Seth Rollins and his double title defenses? WWE has said Cena isn’t injured, but there’s always a chance it’s going to be addressed. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Seth Rollins gets things going this week and tells us about how special he is. Until he cashed in Money in the Bank at Wrestlemania, everyone believed Brock Lesnar was invincible. Then he knocked John Cena off the pedestal and became the first man to hold both the US and World Titles at the same time. Yes Seth we know. Much like everyone else in WWE, you feel the need to repeat the same lines over and over because it gets them talking on Facebook or something.

Anyway, he had a statue, Sting stole it, and now Rollins wants to crush Sting’s legacy as a result. Seth can do that by beating Sting at Night of Champions, but then he has to deal with Cena, who has politicked his way into the title scene again. That presented a problem but then Rollins remembered who he was. This has been his year so he’ll solve this problem just like any other.

Rollins wants his statue back so here’s Sting on screen, standing next to the statue. Come and get it he says, so Rollins says he’s not afraid. Cue Sheamus instead who asks if Seth is worried about Sunday. Seth is worried about his statue instead but he makes sure to call Sheamus Ronald McDonald with a bad haircut. Sheamus: “Leave my family out of this.” Sheamus teases cashing in at Night of Champions.

Post break Seth goes to see Stephanie to ask if HHH has a plan. After Stephanie gets annoyed at Seth for not thinking she can handle this (you have to get that Stephanie praise in there you see), HHH comes in and Rollins is relieved. HHH makes things even worse though as he makes Rollins vs. Ryback and Rollins/New Day vs. Prime Time Players/John Cena. Stephanie says she thought Rollins should go after Sting but Rollins wanted to hear HHH’s idea.

Paige vs. Sasha Banks

Rematch from last week where Paige only had about a minute and a half to beat Sasha, meaning she came up short. Paige throws Sasha around to start and elbows her in the corner, only to have her kick caught, setting up Sasha’s double knees in the corner for two. Back from a break with Sasha getting another near fall and throwing on a chinlock.

Paige quickly fights out but gets pulled off the middle rope to give Sasha another near fall. Sasha’s cross body is nearly countered into the Rampaige but Banks gets to the floor. Back in and a quick wheelbarrow suplex gives Paige two but Naomi comes in for a distraction, allowing Paige to grab a small package for the pin at 9:56.

Rating: C+. It’s a nice match but the commentary suggests that the Divas Title match will indeed be at Night of Champions rather than next week as was hinted at on Smackdown. Therefore, this was another match that is meant to fill in time until we can get the big Nikki Bella moment that we’ve all been waiting for, meaning this has been another ten minutes of your time wasted.

Ascension vs. Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose

Now, on Smackdown, Ascension was made to look tough again when they beat up Neville. I’m sure WWE wouldn’t totally waste that by having them get squashed here and act like Smackdown meant nothing. Dean beats Viktor up to start before it’s off to Roman for more of the same. That’s fine with Reigns who punches out both Ascension members with ease before Dean comes in with a suicide dive. The apron boot to Viktor sets up the Superman Punch and a Doomsday Device of all things, which sets up the spear. Dirty Deeds puts Viktor away at 2:53.

Post match the Wyatts come on screen to say the apocalypse is at Night of Champions.

That being said, SCREW YOU WWE! You set something up on Smackdown and you can’t send out Los freaking Matadores do job here? No of course not, because why do that when Ascension is there? Geez they make Smackdown worthless by their own actions.

Ryback says Rollins whines a lot and is an architect but tonight, Ryback’s plans are a Meathook and Shell Shock. Kevin Owens comes up to wish Ryback good luck and warns him not to bite off more than he can chew.

We recap Lana/Dolph Ziggler/Rusev/Summer Rae. There’s even a narrator for this.

Ryback vs. Seth Rollins

Non-title and in a VERY cool thing, Ryback lets a kid hold the Intercontinental Title. The announcers are too busy getting in their talking points to notice of course. Rollins bails outside and hits the stall button to start. A shoulder sends Rollins right back to the floor but Ryback is patient enough to stay inside. Rollins gets rammed into the corner as the announcers argue over whether or not Sting stole the statue. As in the thing he doesn’t own that he took.

Ryback stays on the arm before chopping Seth down with ease. The delayed vertical suplex, with Ryback walking around the ring, gets two on Seth. Rollins gets Ryback out to the floor and tries a suicide dive, only to have Ryback catch him in midair. Ryback is whipped into various metal objects and it’s time for another break. Back with Seth getting two off a neckbreaker and putting on a chinlock.

Ryback punches him in the face and sends Seth flying with a backdrop. A powerbomb and the low superkick are both countered but the second attempt at the powerbomb connects for two. For some reason Ryback goes to the top but has to break up Seth’s superplex attempt. The top rope splash misses and Rollins baseball slides Ryback outside.

There’s the suicide dive but Ryback is still able to beat the count. Back in and Seth charges into a spinebuster but he escapes Shell Shock and nails an enziguri. This brings up Sting to say the statue is waiting for Rollins, allowing Ryback to grab a small package for the pin at 18:45, good for the second distraction into a small package finish of the night.

Rating: B-. This a better finish, this is a much higher grade. It’s a bad sign when they’re already reusing a finish less than an hour and twenty minutes into the show but you can’t expect them to think of that much on their own. Ryback getting the pin is a nice surprise though as he’s one of the best Intercontinental Champions in years.

Sting pops up again and puts a Sting mask on the statue.

Rollins (yes again with Rollins) is looking for his statue but here’s New Day to interrupt with a trombone recital. Seth yells at them but runs into Edge and Christian who are here for the Steve Austin Show. Edge brings up Rollins threatening to kill him to get the Authority back and wants a fight right now. Rollins bails so Woods wants a musical battle. This means the return of the KAZOO!

Edge thinks New Day sucks but Big E. eats the kazoo. Well he stuck it in his mouth and threw it out but we’ll say he ate it. The Dudleyz come up and tell New Day that the Prime Time Players get a title shot next week. The winners of that face the Dudleyz at Night of Champions. New Day freaks out but Bubba says now they can leave. Oh and the Dudleyz have a new song: GET! THE TABLES! GET! THE TABLES! With rhythmic clapping of course. Well that was awesome.

Here’s Summer Rae, who is sad over everything that happened last week. We get the recap again, with Cole saying it “gripped the world.” No Cole, it didn’t. Also, Ziggler and Lana are WWE’s power couple. Yes, he said power couple. Summer wants to apologize to the person who has been hurt so much in all this: Rusev.

This brings Rusev out so Summer can thank him for all of his inspiration. Last week when Ziggler invited her into his locker room, everything was just too much for her and she temporarily betrayed him. Rusev forgives her so Lana says “thank you Ru Ru.” Rusev rips on Ziggler a bit, so here’s Dolph with a message from Lana (who is out with a broken wrist) in the form of a superkick. I hate myself for starting to love this story.

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

Yes, AGAIN. Orton quickly takes him down in an armbar, likely because he’s so bored by this pairing that he needs a rest. Back up and they’re still in the feeling out process until a shoulder puts Sheamus on the floor. Sheamus gets back in and heads outside almost immediately (same idea as Rollins earlier). He yells at the fans on the mic but catches Orton coming out with the Irish Curse as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus holding a chinlock, followed by the Regal Roll. He demands that everyone respect the hawk and snaps Orton’s throat across the top. The battering ram from the top gets two and the fans are really not interested here. The Cloverleaf doesn’t work so Sheamus resurrects the Edgeucator (a Sharpshooter but with Sheamus pushing on the legs instead of pulling). Orton makes the ropes and comes back with the hanging DDT, only to charge into White Noise for two. The Brogue Kick misses though and the RKO ends Sheamus at 15:49.

Rating: C-. Not only was it boring but it wasn’t even that good. These two just do not have chemistry and they’ve bored the crowd so many times now that I’m sick of both of them. I’m a fan of both guys but it’s not an interesting match. Never let these two fight again and the show will be a lot more entertaining.

Post match the Wyatts surround Orton, who was seen talking to Reigns and Orton earlier. Orton gets destroyed by all three monsters and Reigns/Ambrose aren’t even nice enough to come out for a save.

Cole calls next week the season premiere, which of course is taking place on the show before a pay per view because THEY CAN’T EVEN GET A SCHEDULE RIGHT WHEN THEY MAKE UP THESE ARBITRARY DATES IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!

Los Matadores vs. Dudley Boyz

Diego takes Bubba down to start and the masked men get in some quick fast paced offense. That’s the extent of the good for them though as D-Von comes in to clean house and 3D ends Fernando at 1:38.

Post match Los Matadores blame El Torito so the Dudleyz make the save. Fernando goes through a table.

Cesaro vs. The Miz

This is fallout from earlier tonight when Cesaro turned down Miz’s offer to help publicize the Cesaro Section. Cesaro takes him down to start and easily throws Miz to the floor for some more of the beating. The fans are behind Cesaro as you might expect but Miz kicks Cesaro in the still banged up ribs to take over. Cesaro flips over the top rope because he’s athletic like that, only to get dropped ribs first onto the top rope. Miz kicks him to the floor and sends Cesaro into the barricade a few times but here’s Big Show to chase Miz around, causing a double countout at 4:17.

Rating: D-. So now we’re doing Miz vs. Big Show vs. Cesaro? As in they’re doing the same story they just did but with Cesaro instead of Ryback? This show has been a mess so far and it’s not getting any better as it goes on. Can we please get something interesting instead of this lame stuff all over again?

Back from a break and it’s Bella time. Nikki shows off the Bellatron and invites us all to the Bellabration next week when she breaks the record. This brings out PCB, with Charlotte making the announcement that she’ll be challenging Nikki for the title next week instead of at Night of Champions. A brawl ensues and Nikki taps to the Figure Eight.

John Cena/Prime Time Players vs. New Day/Seth Rollins

A fan tries to follow Rollins to the ring but he’s quickly stopped by security. Cena and Rollins get things going but it’s off to Big E. before anything can happen. The NEW DAY SUCKS headlock goes on as Woods plays the trombone. Woods: “Cena’s gonna learn today what some tricep meat feels like!” E. shoves Cena around as JBL does his best JR impression by making some football analogy that doesn’t go anywhere. The belly to belly gets two on Cena and it’s off to Rollins for some stompings. Big E. tags himself back in for the rotating stomps and Seth doesn’t get the idea.

Back from a break with Kofi getting two on Cena off a high cross body. The SOS gets two more and Rollins breaks up a hot tag attempt. It’s back to Big E. as Woods sits on the steps for some tromboning. E. misses the Warrior Splash and Titus finally gets the tag to clean house. Everything breaks down and Darren gives Woods the Gut Check, only to have Big E. suplexes Titus down. Cena and Rollins get tags and the Pedigree is countered into the STF, only to have Rollins get to the corner for the tag to Kofi. The second high cross body is rolled through into the AA to put Kofi down at 13:08.

Rating: C. Yeah fine. It’s one of the better things on the show and that’s a nice improvement after everything else we’ve had to go through tonight. Cena pinning Kofi is fine as New Day is firmly in a spot where they can get their heat back with one set of antics and a loss means little.

Cena does the Millions of Dollars dance before leaving Rollins alone in the ring. Sting appears on screen in front of the statue. The lights come up and the statue is in front of a garbage truck. I think you can guess what happens. Rollins grabs his titles to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was one of those shows where you were punished for being a fan. They didn’t put in any effort on this one because no one The worst part about this show is that it could have been good but they were clearly not trying. It was one of those shows where they were just here to fill in time before the real stuff starts up again next week on the season premiere, which can’t be after Night of Champions because of reasons.

This show felt like it went on for about eight hours, but that’s what you have to expect on a holiday. Of course they can’t do something special here because they don’t want to waste it, even though they never actually use these special ideas that they’re allegedly saving. Not the worst show ever this week, but it was a LONG sit that would have been far better at two hours. I didn’t say good, but at least better.

Results

Sasha Banks b. Paige – Small package

Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns b. Ascension – Dirty Deeds to Viktor

Ryback b. Seth Rollins – Small package

Randy Orton b. Sheamus – RKO

Dudley Boyz b. Los Matadores – 3D to Fernando

Cesaro vs. The Miz went to a double countout

John Cena/Prime Time Players b. New Day/Seth Rollins – Attitude Adjustment to Kingston

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

I don’t need to say one more word.

http://www.wwe.com/inside/new-day-guide-to-victory-dances-gifs

They’re having a bunch of the Dusty Classic matches at house shows.  Instead of just having the matches at Full Sail and probably wearing out the live crowd, they’re mixing the schedule up.  My guess is we’ll only see clips of some of these matches instead of the full version and that’s a good decision.  You don’t need to see every match in full to get the gist of the tournament.

Again: NXT thinks this stuff through and gets the best results possible.

http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/john-cena-potentially-injured-during-wwe-live-event-on-friday-night/40780/

This one doesn’t sound that serious, but not doing the post match stuff isn’t a good sign.  At least he was able to finish the match.  There’s a good chance he won’t be on Raw though and that’s fine considering Seth has a second opponent for the pay per view.

Smackdown
Date: September 3, 2015
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Rich Brennan, Jerry Lawler, Jimmy Uso

This seems like it’s going to be another midcard heavy episode as the main event players, save for the champion, who is arguably the lowest of the three people involved in the story, who is known to slum it here on Smackdown. The only major event announced is Lana and Dolph Ziggler appearing on MizTV. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s New Day to continue their SAVE THE TABLES campaign. Woods: “A table is a terrible thing to waste.” Kofi calls tables the backbone of human achievement and thinks we wouldn’t be here without hard working tables. The pilgrims and Indians had the first Thanksgiving at a table. The Declaration of Independence was written on a table. Walter Cronkite announced the moon landing while sitting at a table. Above all that though: New Day signed their WWE contracts at a table. Kofi: “I remember that!”

The Dudleyz don’t respect tables but we can all change that. A Save-The-Tables clap starts up but here are the Dudleyz to interrupt. We see a clip of Woods going through a table and Bubba says history is going to repeat itself. This brings out the Prime Time Players who say the Dudleyz have to earn their keep. You mean like by beating the champs a few days ago? Bubba says they’re here to put people through tables and win championships. Titus has two tickets to send them back to Dudleyville and it’s time for a match.

Dudley Boyz vs. Prime Time Players

New Day is on commentary and Woods wants to know why Titus wants to send the Dudleyz back to where they live. That’s not a great gift. D-Von slams Young down and hits that twisting elbow to the jaw of his. A lot of trash is talked and it’s time for a break. Back with Big E. doing his reporter voice as it’s off to Bubba vs. Young. Woods only sees half of Bubba due to all the camouflage and calls the Dudleyz table poachers. Soon New Day will have heavy heads because they’ll be wearing the crown that makes them the greatest of all time.

The reverse 3D gets two on Young but he enziguris Bubba for a breather. New Day starts a SAVE THE TABLES dance as Titus comes in off the hot tag. Titus cleans house as Woods describes him as a German Sheppard that ate too many stale potato chips. Bubba elbows O’Neil in the jaw and it’s 3D for the pin at 9:07.

Rating: C. New Day continues to be one of the most entertaining things WWE has come up with in years. The key thing to their comedy: it’s clearly not scripted. It’s obviously the three of them just riffing on what they’re seeing and having fun with it, which makes the whole thing that much funnier. The match itself was fine too as the story is simple yet effective. That’s often better than something in depth where things get too bogged down by ideas.

Kofi slaps D-Von in the back of the head as New Day leaves.

Post break it’s time for a New Day trombone dance party, but Renee Young tells them they’re facing Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose tonight. Woods immediately plays a sad note on the trombone.

Stardust vs. Neville

No match as the Ascension of all people jump Neville during his entrance. Stardust says Neville is flying too close to the sun and the Ascension are the new conniving cohorts. The Fall of Man leaves Neville laying. Welcome to the Cosmic Wasteland. I heartily approve of this development.

Cesaro is talking about his match with Sheamus tonight when Sheamus interrupts. Tonight, Cesaro will be good but not good enough, just like always as he disappoints the Cesaro section one more time. Cesaro’s big comeback: Sheamus does look stupid up close.

Sheamus vs. Cesaro

Cesaro has taped up ribs from going into the announcers’ table on Monday. Sheamus bails to the floor to start and tells the fans that he doesn’t look stupid. It’s quickly back inside with Cesaro clotheslining him down and MESSING WITH THE MOHAWK. A suplex drops Sheamus with the ribs having no sign of injury whatsoever. Sheamus sends him hard into the corner though and the ribs are suddenly in agony as we go to a break. Back with Sheamus cranking on a chinlock with a knee in Cesaro’s back.

They slug it out from their knees and Cesaro takes over with European uppercuts. A dropkick knocks Sheamus off the top and out to the floor as Lawler isn’t sure how the ribs are holding up. Cesaro’s big running European uppercut knocks Sheamus into the barricade and Cesaro gets two off a high cross body. So much for the selling. The Irish Curse sets up the Cloverleaf but Cesaro is out before it can go on full. The Crossface is countered by elbows to the ribs and it’s a Brogue Kick to give Sheamus the pin at 10:36.

Rating: C+. This was a hard one to grade as they beat each other up for a long time but the ribs weren’t used for most of the match. The injury played into the ending though and that’s a plus, but Cesaro casually hitting a high cross body for two and then just putting a hand on the ribs isn’t enough for me. That being said, Sheamus is right: Cesaro comes up short again and it’s been old for a long time.

It’s time for MizTV. This past Monday, Raw turned into Days of Our Lives with everything happening between Ziggler, Lana and Summer Rae. Oh and Rusev is in there too somewhere. We get a long recap package, meaning we see almost the entire thing. Miz’s first guest tonight is Summer Rae, complete with her CALL TO ME CALL TO ME song. That’s going to be stuck in my head all day now.

Summer calls Monday unfortunate but admits that there’s more to the story. Monday night, Dolph kissed her. Miz: “HE KISSED YOU???” It quickly turned from passion to guilt because she already has the most amazing man in the world. This brings out Dolph and Lana with Ziggler making fun of Miz despite things being kind of serious.

Summer accuses Dolph of having something going on with her for months now and we see a clip of Summer kissing Dolph in June 2014, though it seemed to be more to tick off Fandango. Yeah remember Fandango? WWE doesn’t either. Summer says they’ve been together at hotels as recently as last week and Lana goes after her. Lana storms off and Summer shouts that she can’t handle the truth.

Bo Dallas vs. R-Truth

Dallas takes him into the corner and slams Truth down before driving knees into the head. Off to some chinlockery but Truth fights up and gets two off a side kick. That goes nowhere as Dallas drapes Truth’s feet over the top rope and twist him down with a suplex spinning neckbreaker for the pin at 2:37.

Bo gives him another one post match and takes a victory lap.

We look back at Monday’s Beat the Clock Challenge with Charlotte getting the Divas Title shot at Night of Champions.

Charlotte praises her teammates when the Bellas come up so Nikki can brag about the record. If there isn’t at least a title defense before that night, this is going to reach an even lower level of stupid. Thankfully Charlotte says she’s petitioned the Authority to have their match before the record is broken. If that is approved, the whole record comes crashing down. Tick tock Nikki.

Tamina vs. Charlotte

Tamina shoves Charlotte down to start but gets WOOed for her efforts. A test of strength goes nowhere so Tamina takes her head off with a clothesline for two. Charlotte comes back by kicking her in the face and a spear, followed by Natural Selection for the pin at 3:18.

Rating: D+. The match was just there to give Charlotte more momentum, but the idea of the title match taking place before the record could be the most interesting thing to happen to this division in a long time. That is, assuming they take the title off Nikki. Of course it would also make the first month of the Divas Revolution a total waste of time because the title was never mentioned, but did I mention how awesome Stephanie’s introduction of it was? That makes up for the whole thing.

Team Bella comes out to pose.

Long recap of the Cena/Rollins/Sting issues from Monday.

Kevin Owens brags about beating Cesaro twice in a row to silence the Cesaro Section. That brings him to the next people he wants to be quiet: the people who are critical of his weight. He isn’t going to change his diet though. Instead, feed him more. That’s about as good of an idea as there is for him right now.

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose vs. New Day

Big E. and Kofi here and this is non-title. Ambrose and Kingston get things going with Kofi actually punching him into the New Day corner. Woods wants us to pay attention to the educated fists of one Big E. Reigns comes in for half of a double suplex on Big E. for two but gets sent down into the corner as well. It’s time for some trombone playing, followed by a quickly broken chinlock. E. splashes him in the corner but eats a big clothesline, allowing the tag off to Ambrose.

Dean cleans house and feeds Kofi in to Reigns for a clothesline. New Day is knocked outside and Dean dives onto all three as we take a break. Back with Kofi kicking Dean in the chest and slapping on another chinlock. Woods: “I HAVE A TROMBONE!” The Big E. splash gets two but Dean avoids a charge in the corner. He blocks Big E.’s belly to belly superplex and hits a nice missile dropkick. The nip up doesn’t work so well though in an unintentionally funny moment.

Reigns comes in to clean house and Jimmy is way too excited. Woods’ distraction lets Kofi grab a rollup for two, earning him a big powerbomb for the same. Dean sends E. into the barricade as Kofi springboards into the Superman Punch, drawing in Xavier for the DQ at 12:07.

Rating: C+. This was fine and the ending is a lot better than having the Dudleyz beat them clean on Monday. New Day gets to hold up the titles and swear that Kofi was going to kick out while everyone knows they’re lying. It’s a simple formula, but unfortunately WWE doesn’t know how to keep that formula from getting repetitive. I really like New Day moving up the ladder like this though as they’re definitely more than just another tag team. I mean, can you imagine the Prime Time Players in this role? It only works with the right kind of act, like New Day.

New Day gets their clocks cleaned (you never want a dirty clock) but Dean wants more. He wants another shot at Strowman and the Wyatt Family RIGHT NOW. Bray pops up on screen and says let’s do this at Night of Champions. Can you hear the footsteps of the apocalypse walking among them in the form of a black sheep? Run.

Overall Rating: C. Totally acceptable show here with the wrestling being fine, but above all else we actually got some storyline development for a change. Now granted it would be better if we had some major matches here instead of just the announcement of such matches, but I’ll take what I can get where I can get it. Not a bad show here and that’s more than you can say about Smackdown most of the time.

Results

Dudley Boyz b. Prime Time Players – 3D to O’Neil

Sheamus b. Cesaro – Brogue Kick

Bo Dallas b. R-Truth – Draping suplex neckbreaker

Charlotte b. Tamina – Natural Selection

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose b. New Day when Xavier Woods interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

NXT
Date: September 2, 2015
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Rich Brennan, Corey Graves

The focus goes back on the tag teams tonight as we begin the Dusty Classic. This is a tag team tournament for a prize to be announced and with most of the participants to be announced as well. The idea is to have the past, present and future of NXT involved to honor the spirit of Dusty Rhodes. Let’s get to it.

The opening video hypes up the tournament and talks about paying tribute to the Dream.

Opening sequence.

Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic First Round: Ascension vs. Rhyno/Baron Corbin

Rhyno runs Viktor over to start but Viktor rolls into a shoulder to put Rhyno down. Konor and Corbin come in but a quick double shoulder drops Baron. The double teaming doesn’t last long though and Viktor is sent shoulder first into the post, allowing Rhyno to get some shots in. Back to Corbin as it seems the Ascension are the faces here. Konor gets the hot tag and cleans house on Baron before avoiding a Gore. Corbin breaks up the Fall of Man though and Rhyno Gores Konor for the pin at 5:39.

Rating: D. This was an awkward match with both teams looking a bit off. It’s also very telling that the Ascension can’t even get a win over a thrown together team where the members don’t even get along down in NXT. They’ve just died since they got called up to the main roster and WWE has no issues with it.

Neville and Solomon Crowe are in the tournament. They’re both excited but Solomon freaks Neville out a bit.

Nia Jax is still coming.

Alexa Bliss vs. Blue Pants

Bliss takes Blue Pants down for a beating to start and throws her to the mat by the hair. Pants gets rammed into the buckle and a kick to the back sets up an armbar. Back up and Pants fires off some kicks and a northern lights suplex gets two. She misses a charge in the corner though and the Sparkle Splash gives Alexa the pin at 3:34.

Rating: C-. Total squash but that was exactly what it was supposed to be. Bliss is the evil mastermind and Blue Pants is nothing more than a cult favorite who can only win matches through interference. There’s no point in having her win here when she just shows up for goofy appearances so everyone is fine.

Johnny Gargano and Tommaso Ciampa are in Regal’s office when Tyler Breeze storms in. Tyler demands a spot in the tournament so Regal gives him Bull Dempsey to face Gargano and Ciampa next week.

Emma says the Divas Revolution isn’t happening without her.

Apollo Crews vs. Martin Stone

Apollo starts fast with an armdrag but Stone clotheslines him down to take over. Off to a chinlock for a bit before Crews comes back with a standing enziguri. The gorilla press and standing moonsault put Stone away at 2:57. Crews looked good but he needs to do something besides just being all athletic and awesome.

Chad Gable and Jason Jordan say they’ll get to write this tournament’s history after winning the whole thing.  Neville is flying too close to the sun and Crowe is going to be forgotten.  Jordan finally says the Ready Willing and Gable line. Gable is money.

Finn Balor is ready to defend his title in Texas, but first of all he’s in the Dusty Classic. His partner, Samoa Joe, comes in and says he wants to win it all. Balor shakes his hand and says he’s ready. So I guess Joe is going to be the next major challenger.

Eva Marie vs. Billie Kay

We get an Eva chant to start, which I don’t buy as legit for a second. Eva fires off some shoulders in the corner and grabs a suplex for two. A seated abdominal stretch is countered by a small package but Eva comes back with a backsplash (that’s WAY too common a move these days) for two more. Kay makes a quick comeback with a clothesline and suplex for two of her own, but the interesting part is the fans booing Eva out of the building for kicking out. That was awesome in a way. Back up and Sliced Red #2 beats Kay at 3:45.

Rating: D. Eva is gorgeous and looks great in her gear, has awesome presence, but above all else, she’s just not that good in the ring. If they try to push her as a star in the division, the heat is going to be out of this world. The NXT fans simply do not want her in their company and it’s not surprising in the slightest.

The Hype Bros and Enzo/Cass argued over what part of New York to celebrate in after winning last week.

Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic: Solomon Crowe/Neville vs. Chad Gable/Jason Jordan

Gable takes Crowe to the mat to start and easily rolls him around into a backslide for two. Back up and Crowe counters a leapfrog into a flapjack (nice move) before it’s off to Neville for a very nice welcome home reaction. Jordan takes Neville down to the mat with some nice amateur stuff but Neville flips out of a suplex and sends Jason to the floor as we take a break. Back with Jordan throwing Solomon down just like he did to Neville before a wicked overhead belly to belly drops Crowe again.

Gable comes back in and mocks Solomon, even having Jordan fan him off while Crowe is on the floor. Jordan throws on a chinlock for a bit before Solomon adds a bow and arrow of his own. The hold is finally broken and Crowe dives over for the tag, allowing Neville to come in for his usual fast paced stuff.

Gable pulls Jason to the floor to break up the Red Arrow. That’s fine with Neville as he dives on both of them with Crowe following with a dive of his own. Back in and Jordan catches Neville’s next dive and throws him face first onto the mat. Crowe tags himself in and gets suplexed again, setting up the Grand Amplitude (the announcers don’t know the name) for the pin at 12:48.

Rating: C+. Good match here and Crowe tagging himself in might lead to a heel turn for him, which probably won’t save him but it’s better than whatever it was he’s been doing for the last few weeks. Neville really does come off as a star here and you can see what they’re going for with the superhero idea.

Overall Rating: C+. I liked the show for the most part and they’re making the tournament feel like a huge deal. That’s exactly what something this important should be and I love the fact that they’ve made the whole promotion want to get involved with it. Good stuff here and what is hopefully the sign of good stuff to come.

Results

Baron Corbin/Rhyno b. Ascension – Gore to Konor

Alexa Bliss b. Blue Pants – Sparkle Splash

Apollo Crews b. Martin Stone – Standing moonsault

Eva Marie b. Billie Kay – Sliced Red #2

Chad Gable/Jason Jordan b. Neville/Solomon Crowe – Grand Amplitude to Crowe

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

http://411mania.com/wrestling/jimmy-snuka-charged-with-murder/

This has been rumored for years now and it’s finally happening 32 years later. Snuka already has stomach cancer and there’s a good chance he could be going down for this too.  This has really been a bad year for 80s stars but this is a different kind of bad.