Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: August 31, 2015
So…..yeah I’ve missed these for a few weeks. I know I missed the week before this but it’s a stretch to do one of these for this show and going back another week would be even worse. Anyway, it’s eight days after Summerslam and Sting is back to go after Seth Rollins, despite having losing his only match in the company. Let’s get to it.
We opened with Sting and that still doesn’t feel right in WWE. Sting was out there to talk about Rollins, but this somehow turned into a love fest for HHH. His speech was about how losing to HHH (who hit him in the head with a sledgehammer) earned his respect and Rollins will never be half the man that HHH is. Sting is going to prove that Rollins hasn’t earned the respect that he’s claiming, which is Sting’s entire character in a nutshell.
In other words, this feud is now going to be about HHH, because it sets up the feud with HHH vs. Rollins, which has been coming for months now it seems. I like the idea, but it would be a bit nicer if these were shades of gray instead of just making it clear that this is where the feud is going. I’m still not sure if Sting wins the title or not, though they seem to be making it a bit too clear that Sheamus is cashing in. I know WWE likes to beat things over our heads because they think we’re idiots, but this is almost too obvious. Therefore, I’m thinking Rollins retains over Sting, which almost guarantees that Sting gets the belt.
Rollins wanted his statue so Stephanie made sure to praise HHH a bit (made sense here for a change) before telling him to go ask Sting. This would be another segment that really didn’t change anything but why bother with something like that?
Rusev and Ziggler had a long match that ended in a DQ because this is destined to end in a mixed tag. Well at least it was. Now the interesting part here was where this went for the rest of the night, as Summer would be seen sneaking into Ziggler locker room before then running off screaming as Ziggler came out mostly sans clothing.
This got us into a soap opera which has been going ever since and I hate to admit the fact that I’m kind of loving it. Above all else: they’ve given me a reason to care. There’s a story here that is so over the top and ridiculous that it’s hard not to get sucked in, even though I know it’s bad. It helps that Rusev is left playing the role of muscle while everyone else does the drama, which is a much better fit for him. Well done all around Well that and Lana’s new outfit. That’s kind of a big plus too.
The best thing about this story though is I’m not sure if Ziggler cheated on Lana or not. Granted it’s about as low stake as you can get, but there’s always something good about not knowing where a story is going. It could be either ending here, though hopefully it ends with Ziggler going full on heel again because Dolph being noble and loyal to Lana doesn’t fit him in the slightest.
One of the other big stories of the night was Team PCB having a Beat the Clock Challenge for the right to face Nikki Bella for the title at Night of Champions. Charlotte wound up winning in something not really surprising, but I lost almost all interest in the Divas division (yeah it’s not a revolution, no matter how many times they’ve hammered it into our head that it’s a revolution) after the last month wasting our time. The matches were nothing special because of how short the time was, but at least we’re FINALLY getting to the title hunt, even if it means we have to listen to Nikki talk about being some empowered woman or whatever.
Ryback beat Big Show in a short match thanks to Miz, which seems to be the blowoff for this feud. I can’t say I’m complaining as I really didn’t need to see these three fight any longer. Big Show still seems to want to go after Miz, but at least they can’t be fighting over a title anytime soon. The match was short and a way for Ryback to show off his power, which he’s done about a dozen times on Big Show, which is why the company thinks it’s so impressive.
Kevin Owens beat Cesaro in a really good Summerslam rematch where Owens knocked him ribs first into the announcers’ table to injure Cesaro’s ribs. This was a good win for Owens and wraps up their feud, unfortunately with Cesaro getting swept but fortunately with no rubber match that WWE loves to put on. Owens seems primed for a shot at the Intercontinental Title and that’s a great spot for him right now, whether he wins the title or not.
Braun Strowman squashed Dean Ambrose, which is the best thing that he could have done for his first official match. The guy is a monster and he can tear a path of destruction for a few months until someone finally knocks him off. Just don’t make it obvious that he’s going to eventually be knocked off and everything will be fine.
The Dudleyz beat New Day in a non-title match because they have to have a champion lose once every few weeks, just to keep them interesting you see. Also because they don’t have any other teams to beat down besides the ones with the titles. More on that next week.
The big segment to end the show had Rollins demanding his statue back but being told by the Authority that he has to defend both titles at Night of Champions. Stephanie talked a lot but I usually get lost when she talks because all I can hear are buzzwords and charities that I’ll never hear of again because Stephanie has moved on to something else for her cause of the month. She does quite a few charity bits no?
Overall, Raw was a really solid show this week with almost everything serving a purpose or at least being good. Night of Champions is looking like an awesome show instead of the filler show that it so often is. We’re still waiting on that statue to be destroyed but I’m sure it’s going down soon enough. Good week this time though as they’re actually hot right now.
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Monday Night Raw – September 7, 2015: They Certainly Got The Labor Part Right
Monday Night Raw Date: September 7, 2015
Location: Royal Farms Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton, Michael Cole
It’s a holiday show, which means we might not be in for the most action packed episode this week. Coming out of this weekend, the question is what does John Cena’s potential injury mean for Seth Rollins and his double title defenses? WWE has said Cena isn’t injured, but there’s always a chance it’s going to be addressed. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Seth Rollins gets things going this week and tells us about how special he is. Until he cashed in Money in the Bank at Wrestlemania, everyone believed Brock Lesnar was invincible. Then he knocked John Cena off the pedestal and became the first man to hold both the US and World Titles at the same time. Yes Seth we know. Much like everyone else in WWE, you feel the need to repeat the same lines over and over because it gets them talking on Facebook or something.
Anyway, he had a statue, Sting stole it, and now Rollins wants to crush Sting’s legacy as a result. Seth can do that by beating Sting at Night of Champions, but then he has to deal with Cena, who has politicked his way into the title scene again. That presented a problem but then Rollins remembered who he was. This has been his year so he’ll solve this problem just like any other.
Rollins wants his statue back so here’s Sting on screen, standing next to the statue. Come and get it he says, so Rollins says he’s not afraid. Cue Sheamus instead who asks if Seth is worried about Sunday. Seth is worried about his statue instead but he makes sure to call Sheamus Ronald McDonald with a bad haircut. Sheamus: “Leave my family out of this.” Sheamus teases cashing in at Night of Champions.
Post break Seth goes to see Stephanie to ask if HHH has a plan. After Stephanie gets annoyed at Seth for not thinking she can handle this (you have to get that Stephanie praise in there you see), HHH comes in and Rollins is relieved. HHH makes things even worse though as he makes Rollins vs. Ryback and Rollins/New Day vs. Prime Time Players/John Cena. Stephanie says she thought Rollins should go after Sting but Rollins wanted to hear HHH’s idea.
Paige vs. Sasha Banks
Rematch from last week where Paige only had about a minute and a half to beat Sasha, meaning she came up short. Paige throws Sasha around to start and elbows her in the corner, only to have her kick caught, setting up Sasha’s double knees in the corner for two. Back from a break with Sasha getting another near fall and throwing on a chinlock.
Paige quickly fights out but gets pulled off the middle rope to give Sasha another near fall. Sasha’s cross body is nearly countered into the Rampaige but Banks gets to the floor. Back in and a quick wheelbarrow suplex gives Paige two but Naomi comes in for a distraction, allowing Paige to grab a small package for the pin at 9:56.
Rating: C+. It’s a nice match but the commentary suggests that the Divas Title match will indeed be at Night of Champions rather than next week as was hinted at on Smackdown. Therefore, this was another match that is meant to fill in time until we can get the big Nikki Bella moment that we’ve all been waiting for, meaning this has been another ten minutes of your time wasted.
Ascension vs. Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose
Now, on Smackdown, Ascension was made to look tough again when they beat up Neville. I’m sure WWE wouldn’t totally waste that by having them get squashed here and act like Smackdown meant nothing. Dean beats Viktor up to start before it’s off to Roman for more of the same. That’s fine with Reigns who punches out both Ascension members with ease before Dean comes in with a suicide dive. The apron boot to Viktor sets up the Superman Punch and a Doomsday Device of all things, which sets up the spear. Dirty Deeds puts Viktor away at 2:53.
Post match the Wyatts come on screen to say the apocalypse is at Night of Champions.
That being said, SCREW YOU WWE! You set something up on Smackdown and you can’t send out Los freaking Matadores do job here? No of course not, because why do that when Ascension is there? Geez they make Smackdown worthless by their own actions.
Ryback says Rollins whines a lot and is an architect but tonight, Ryback’s plans are a Meathook and Shell Shock. Kevin Owens comes up to wish Ryback good luck and warns him not to bite off more than he can chew.
We recap Lana/Dolph Ziggler/Rusev/Summer Rae. There’s even a narrator for this.
Ryback vs. Seth Rollins
Non-title and in a VERY cool thing, Ryback lets a kid hold the Intercontinental Title. The announcers are too busy getting in their talking points to notice of course. Rollins bails outside and hits the stall button to start. A shoulder sends Rollins right back to the floor but Ryback is patient enough to stay inside. Rollins gets rammed into the corner as the announcers argue over whether or not Sting stole the statue. As in the thing he doesn’t own that he took.
Ryback stays on the arm before chopping Seth down with ease. The delayed vertical suplex, with Ryback walking around the ring, gets two on Seth. Rollins gets Ryback out to the floor and tries a suicide dive, only to have Ryback catch him in midair. Ryback is whipped into various metal objects and it’s time for another break. Back with Seth getting two off a neckbreaker and putting on a chinlock.
Ryback punches him in the face and sends Seth flying with a backdrop. A powerbomb and the low superkick are both countered but the second attempt at the powerbomb connects for two. For some reason Ryback goes to the top but has to break up Seth’s superplex attempt. The top rope splash misses and Rollins baseball slides Ryback outside.
There’s the suicide dive but Ryback is still able to beat the count. Back in and Seth charges into a spinebuster but he escapes Shell Shock and nails an enziguri. This brings up Sting to say the statue is waiting for Rollins, allowing Ryback to grab a small package for the pin at 18:45, good for the second distraction into a small package finish of the night.
Rating: B-. This a better finish, this is a much higher grade. It’s a bad sign when they’re already reusing a finish less than an hour and twenty minutes into the show but you can’t expect them to think of that much on their own. Ryback getting the pin is a nice surprise though as he’s one of the best Intercontinental Champions in years.
Sting pops up again and puts a Sting mask on the statue.
Rollins (yes again with Rollins) is looking for his statue but here’s New Day to interrupt with a trombone recital. Seth yells at them but runs into Edge and Christian who are here for the Steve Austin Show. Edge brings up Rollins threatening to kill him to get the Authority back and wants a fight right now. Rollins bails so Woods wants a musical battle. This means the return of the KAZOO!
Edge thinks New Day sucks but Big E. eats the kazoo. Well he stuck it in his mouth and threw it out but we’ll say he ate it. The Dudleyz come up and tell New Day that the Prime Time Players get a title shot next week. The winners of that face the Dudleyz at Night of Champions. New Day freaks out but Bubba says now they can leave. Oh and the Dudleyz have a new song: GET! THE TABLES! GET! THE TABLES! With rhythmic clapping of course. Well that was awesome.
Here’s Summer Rae, who is sad over everything that happened last week. We get the recap again, with Cole saying it “gripped the world.” No Cole, it didn’t. Also, Ziggler and Lana are WWE’s power couple. Yes, he said power couple. Summer wants to apologize to the person who has been hurt so much in all this: Rusev.
This brings Rusev out so Summer can thank him for all of his inspiration. Last week when Ziggler invited her into his locker room, everything was just too much for her and she temporarily betrayed him. Rusev forgives her so Lana says “thank you Ru Ru.” Rusev rips on Ziggler a bit, so here’s Dolph with a message from Lana (who is out with a broken wrist) in the form of a superkick. I hate myself for starting to love this story.
Randy Orton vs. Sheamus
Yes, AGAIN. Orton quickly takes him down in an armbar, likely because he’s so bored by this pairing that he needs a rest. Back up and they’re still in the feeling out process until a shoulder puts Sheamus on the floor. Sheamus gets back in and heads outside almost immediately (same idea as Rollins earlier). He yells at the fans on the mic but catches Orton coming out with the Irish Curse as we take a break.
Back with Sheamus holding a chinlock, followed by the Regal Roll. He demands that everyone respect the hawk and snaps Orton’s throat across the top. The battering ram from the top gets two and the fans are really not interested here. The Cloverleaf doesn’t work so Sheamus resurrects the Edgeucator (a Sharpshooter but with Sheamus pushing on the legs instead of pulling). Orton makes the ropes and comes back with the hanging DDT, only to charge into White Noise for two. The Brogue Kick misses though and the RKO ends Sheamus at 15:49.
Rating: C-. Not only was it boring but it wasn’t even that good. These two just do not have chemistry and they’ve bored the crowd so many times now that I’m sick of both of them. I’m a fan of both guys but it’s not an interesting match. Never let these two fight again and the show will be a lot more entertaining.
Post match the Wyatts surround Orton, who was seen talking to Reigns and Orton earlier. Orton gets destroyed by all three monsters and Reigns/Ambrose aren’t even nice enough to come out for a save.
Cole calls next week the season premiere, which of course is taking place on the show before a pay per view because THEY CAN’T EVEN GET A SCHEDULE RIGHT WHEN THEY MAKE UP THESE ARBITRARY DATES IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!
Los Matadores vs. Dudley Boyz
Diego takes Bubba down to start and the masked men get in some quick fast paced offense. That’s the extent of the good for them though as D-Von comes in to clean house and 3D ends Fernando at 1:38.
Post match Los Matadores blame El Torito so the Dudleyz make the save. Fernando goes through a table.
Cesaro vs. The Miz
This is fallout from earlier tonight when Cesaro turned down Miz’s offer to help publicize the Cesaro Section. Cesaro takes him down to start and easily throws Miz to the floor for some more of the beating. The fans are behind Cesaro as you might expect but Miz kicks Cesaro in the still banged up ribs to take over. Cesaro flips over the top rope because he’s athletic like that, only to get dropped ribs first onto the top rope. Miz kicks him to the floor and sends Cesaro into the barricade a few times but here’s Big Show to chase Miz around, causing a double countout at 4:17.
Rating: D-. So now we’re doing Miz vs. Big Show vs. Cesaro? As in they’re doing the same story they just did but with Cesaro instead of Ryback? This show has been a mess so far and it’s not getting any better as it goes on. Can we please get something interesting instead of this lame stuff all over again?
Back from a break and it’s Bella time. Nikki shows off the Bellatron and invites us all to the Bellabration next week when she breaks the record. This brings out PCB, with Charlotte making the announcement that she’ll be challenging Nikki for the title next week instead of at Night of Champions. A brawl ensues and Nikki taps to the Figure Eight.
John Cena/Prime Time Players vs. New Day/Seth Rollins
A fan tries to follow Rollins to the ring but he’s quickly stopped by security. Cena and Rollins get things going but it’s off to Big E. before anything can happen. The NEW DAY SUCKS headlock goes on as Woods plays the trombone. Woods: “Cena’s gonna learn today what some tricep meat feels like!” E. shoves Cena around as JBL does his best JR impression by making some football analogy that doesn’t go anywhere. The belly to belly gets two on Cena and it’s off to Rollins for some stompings. Big E. tags himself back in for the rotating stomps and Seth doesn’t get the idea.
Back from a break with Kofi getting two on Cena off a high cross body. The SOS gets two more and Rollins breaks up a hot tag attempt. It’s back to Big E. as Woods sits on the steps for some tromboning. E. misses the Warrior Splash and Titus finally gets the tag to clean house. Everything breaks down and Darren gives Woods the Gut Check, only to have Big E. suplexes Titus down. Cena and Rollins get tags and the Pedigree is countered into the STF, only to have Rollins get to the corner for the tag to Kofi. The second high cross body is rolled through into the AA to put Kofi down at 13:08.
Rating: C. Yeah fine. It’s one of the better things on the show and that’s a nice improvement after everything else we’ve had to go through tonight. Cena pinning Kofi is fine as New Day is firmly in a spot where they can get their heat back with one set of antics and a loss means little.
Cena does the Millions of Dollars dance before leaving Rollins alone in the ring. Sting appears on screen in front of the statue. The lights come up and the statue is in front of a garbage truck. I think you can guess what happens. Rollins grabs his titles to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. This was one of those shows where you were punished for being a fan. They didn’t put in any effort on this one because no one The worst part about this show is that it could have been good but they were clearly not trying. It was one of those shows where they were just here to fill in time before the real stuff starts up again next week on the season premiere, which can’t be after Night of Champions because of reasons.
This show felt like it went on for about eight hours, but that’s what you have to expect on a holiday. Of course they can’t do something special here because they don’t want to waste it, even though they never actually use these special ideas that they’re allegedly saving. Not the worst show ever this week, but it was a LONG sit that would have been far better at two hours. I didn’t say good, but at least better.
Results
Sasha Banks b. Paige – Small package
Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns b. Ascension – Dirty Deeds to Viktor
Ryback b. Seth Rollins – Small package
Randy Orton b. Sheamus – RKO
Dudley Boyz b. Los Matadores – 3D to Fernando
Cesaro vs. The Miz went to a double countout
John Cena/Prime Time Players b. New Day/Seth Rollins – Attitude Adjustment to Kingston
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
They’re having a bunch of the Dusty Classic matches at house shows. Instead of just having the matches at Full Sail and probably wearing out the live crowd, they’re mixing the schedule up. My guess is we’ll only see clips of some of these matches instead of the full version and that’s a good decision. You don’t need to see every match in full to get the gist of the tournament.
Again: NXT thinks this stuff through and gets the best results possible.
This one doesn’t sound that serious, but not doing the post match stuff isn’t a good sign. At least he was able to finish the match. There’s a good chance he won’t be on Raw though and that’s fine considering Seth has a second opponent for the pay per view.
Smackdown – September 3, 2015: I Approve Of These Developments
Smackdown Date: September 3, 2015
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Rich Brennan, Jerry Lawler, Jimmy Uso
This seems like it’s going to be another midcard heavy episode as the main event players, save for the champion, who is arguably the lowest of the three people involved in the story, who is known to slum it here on Smackdown. The only major event announced is Lana and Dolph Ziggler appearing on MizTV. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Here’s New Day to continue their SAVE THE TABLES campaign. Woods: “A table is a terrible thing to waste.” Kofi calls tables the backbone of human achievement and thinks we wouldn’t be here without hard working tables. The pilgrims and Indians had the first Thanksgiving at a table. The Declaration of Independence was written on a table. Walter Cronkite announced the moon landing while sitting at a table. Above all that though: New Day signed their WWE contracts at a table. Kofi: “I remember that!”
The Dudleyz don’t respect tables but we can all change that. A Save-The-Tables clap starts up but here are the Dudleyz to interrupt. We see a clip of Woods going through a table and Bubba says history is going to repeat itself. This brings out the Prime Time Players who say the Dudleyz have to earn their keep. You mean like by beating the champs a few days ago? Bubba says they’re here to put people through tables and win championships. Titus has two tickets to send them back to Dudleyville and it’s time for a match.
Dudley Boyz vs. Prime Time Players
New Day is on commentary and Woods wants to know why Titus wants to send the Dudleyz back to where they live. That’s not a great gift. D-Von slams Young down and hits that twisting elbow to the jaw of his. A lot of trash is talked and it’s time for a break. Back with Big E. doing his reporter voice as it’s off to Bubba vs. Young. Woods only sees half of Bubba due to all the camouflage and calls the Dudleyz table poachers. Soon New Day will have heavy heads because they’ll be wearing the crown that makes them the greatest of all time.
The reverse 3D gets two on Young but he enziguris Bubba for a breather. New Day starts a SAVE THE TABLES dance as Titus comes in off the hot tag. Titus cleans house as Woods describes him as a German Sheppard that ate too many stale potato chips. Bubba elbows O’Neil in the jaw and it’s 3D for the pin at 9:07.
Rating: C. New Day continues to be one of the most entertaining things WWE has come up with in years. The key thing to their comedy: it’s clearly not scripted. It’s obviously the three of them just riffing on what they’re seeing and having fun with it, which makes the whole thing that much funnier. The match itself was fine too as the story is simple yet effective. That’s often better than something in depth where things get too bogged down by ideas.
Kofi slaps D-Von in the back of the head as New Day leaves.
Post break it’s time for a New Day trombone dance party, but Renee Young tells them they’re facing Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose tonight. Woods immediately plays a sad note on the trombone.
Stardust vs. Neville
No match as the Ascension of all people jump Neville during his entrance. Stardust says Neville is flying too close to the sun and the Ascension are the new conniving cohorts. The Fall of Man leaves Neville laying. Welcome to the Cosmic Wasteland. I heartily approve of this development.
Cesaro is talking about his match with Sheamus tonight when Sheamus interrupts. Tonight, Cesaro will be good but not good enough, just like always as he disappoints the Cesaro section one more time. Cesaro’s big comeback: Sheamus does look stupid up close.
Sheamus vs. Cesaro
Cesaro has taped up ribs from going into the announcers’ table on Monday. Sheamus bails to the floor to start and tells the fans that he doesn’t look stupid. It’s quickly back inside with Cesaro clotheslining him down and MESSING WITH THE MOHAWK. A suplex drops Sheamus with the ribs having no sign of injury whatsoever. Sheamus sends him hard into the corner though and the ribs are suddenly in agony as we go to a break. Back with Sheamus cranking on a chinlock with a knee in Cesaro’s back.
They slug it out from their knees and Cesaro takes over with European uppercuts. A dropkick knocks Sheamus off the top and out to the floor as Lawler isn’t sure how the ribs are holding up. Cesaro’s big running European uppercut knocks Sheamus into the barricade and Cesaro gets two off a high cross body. So much for the selling. The Irish Curse sets up the Cloverleaf but Cesaro is out before it can go on full. The Crossface is countered by elbows to the ribs and it’s a Brogue Kick to give Sheamus the pin at 10:36.
Rating: C+. This was a hard one to grade as they beat each other up for a long time but the ribs weren’t used for most of the match. The injury played into the ending though and that’s a plus, but Cesaro casually hitting a high cross body for two and then just putting a hand on the ribs isn’t enough for me. That being said, Sheamus is right: Cesaro comes up short again and it’s been old for a long time.
It’s time for MizTV. This past Monday, Raw turned into Days of Our Lives with everything happening between Ziggler, Lana and Summer Rae. Oh and Rusev is in there too somewhere. We get a long recap package, meaning we see almost the entire thing. Miz’s first guest tonight is Summer Rae, complete with her CALL TO ME CALL TO ME song. That’s going to be stuck in my head all day now.
Summer calls Monday unfortunate but admits that there’s more to the story. Monday night, Dolph kissed her. Miz: “HE KISSED YOU???” It quickly turned from passion to guilt because she already has the most amazing man in the world. This brings out Dolph and Lana with Ziggler making fun of Miz despite things being kind of serious.
Summer accuses Dolph of having something going on with her for months now and we see a clip of Summer kissing Dolph in June 2014, though it seemed to be more to tick off Fandango. Yeah remember Fandango? WWE doesn’t either. Summer says they’ve been together at hotels as recently as last week and Lana goes after her. Lana storms off and Summer shouts that she can’t handle the truth.
Bo Dallas vs. R-Truth
Dallas takes him into the corner and slams Truth down before driving knees into the head. Off to some chinlockery but Truth fights up and gets two off a side kick. That goes nowhere as Dallas drapes Truth’s feet over the top rope and twist him down with a suplex spinning neckbreaker for the pin at 2:37.
Bo gives him another one post match and takes a victory lap.
We look back at Monday’s Beat the Clock Challenge with Charlotte getting the Divas Title shot at Night of Champions.
Charlotte praises her teammates when the Bellas come up so Nikki can brag about the record. If there isn’t at least a title defense before that night, this is going to reach an even lower level of stupid. Thankfully Charlotte says she’s petitioned the Authority to have their match before the record is broken. If that is approved, the whole record comes crashing down. Tick tock Nikki.
Tamina vs. Charlotte
Tamina shoves Charlotte down to start but gets WOOed for her efforts. A test of strength goes nowhere so Tamina takes her head off with a clothesline for two. Charlotte comes back by kicking her in the face and a spear, followed by Natural Selection for the pin at 3:18.
Rating: D+. The match was just there to give Charlotte more momentum, but the idea of the title match taking place before the record could be the most interesting thing to happen to this division in a long time. That is, assuming they take the title off Nikki. Of course it would also make the first month of the Divas Revolution a total waste of time because the title was never mentioned, but did I mention how awesome Stephanie’s introduction of it was? That makes up for the whole thing.
Team Bella comes out to pose.
Long recap of the Cena/Rollins/Sting issues from Monday.
Kevin Owens brags about beating Cesaro twice in a row to silence the Cesaro Section. That brings him to the next people he wants to be quiet: the people who are critical of his weight. He isn’t going to change his diet though. Instead, feed him more. That’s about as good of an idea as there is for him right now.
Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose vs. New Day
Big E. and Kofi here and this is non-title. Ambrose and Kingston get things going with Kofi actually punching him into the New Day corner. Woods wants us to pay attention to the educated fists of one Big E. Reigns comes in for half of a double suplex on Big E. for two but gets sent down into the corner as well. It’s time for some trombone playing, followed by a quickly broken chinlock. E. splashes him in the corner but eats a big clothesline, allowing the tag off to Ambrose.
Dean cleans house and feeds Kofi in to Reigns for a clothesline. New Day is knocked outside and Dean dives onto all three as we take a break. Back with Kofi kicking Dean in the chest and slapping on another chinlock. Woods: “I HAVE A TROMBONE!” The Big E. splash gets two but Dean avoids a charge in the corner. He blocks Big E.’s belly to belly superplex and hits a nice missile dropkick. The nip up doesn’t work so well though in an unintentionally funny moment.
Reigns comes in to clean house and Jimmy is way too excited. Woods’ distraction lets Kofi grab a rollup for two, earning him a big powerbomb for the same. Dean sends E. into the barricade as Kofi springboards into the Superman Punch, drawing in Xavier for the DQ at 12:07.
Rating: C+. This was fine and the ending is a lot better than having the Dudleyz beat them clean on Monday. New Day gets to hold up the titles and swear that Kofi was going to kick out while everyone knows they’re lying. It’s a simple formula, but unfortunately WWE doesn’t know how to keep that formula from getting repetitive. I really like New Day moving up the ladder like this though as they’re definitely more than just another tag team. I mean, can you imagine the Prime Time Players in this role? It only works with the right kind of act, like New Day.
New Day gets their clocks cleaned (you never want a dirty clock) but Dean wants more. He wants another shot at Strowman and the Wyatt Family RIGHT NOW. Bray pops up on screen and says let’s do this at Night of Champions. Can you hear the footsteps of the apocalypse walking among them in the form of a black sheep? Run.
Overall Rating: C. Totally acceptable show here with the wrestling being fine, but above all else we actually got some storyline development for a change. Now granted it would be better if we had some major matches here instead of just the announcement of such matches, but I’ll take what I can get where I can get it. Not a bad show here and that’s more than you can say about Smackdown most of the time.
Results
Dudley Boyz b. Prime Time Players – 3D to O’Neil
Sheamus b. Cesaro – Brogue Kick
Bo Dallas b. R-Truth – Draping suplex neckbreaker
Charlotte b. Tamina – Natural Selection
Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose b. New Day when Xavier Woods interfered
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
NXT Date: September 2, 2015
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Rich Brennan, Corey Graves
The focus goes back on the tag teams tonight as we begin the Dusty Classic. This is a tag team tournament for a prize to be announced and with most of the participants to be announced as well. The idea is to have the past, present and future of NXT involved to honor the spirit of Dusty Rhodes. Let’s get to it.
The opening video hypes up the tournament and talks about paying tribute to the Dream.
Opening sequence.
Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic First Round: Ascension vs. Rhyno/Baron Corbin
Rhyno runs Viktor over to start but Viktor rolls into a shoulder to put Rhyno down. Konor and Corbin come in but a quick double shoulder drops Baron. The double teaming doesn’t last long though and Viktor is sent shoulder first into the post, allowing Rhyno to get some shots in. Back to Corbin as it seems the Ascension are the faces here. Konor gets the hot tag and cleans house on Baron before avoiding a Gore. Corbin breaks up the Fall of Man though and Rhyno Gores Konor for the pin at 5:39.
Rating: D. This was an awkward match with both teams looking a bit off. It’s also very telling that the Ascension can’t even get a win over a thrown together team where the members don’t even get along down in NXT. They’ve just died since they got called up to the main roster and WWE has no issues with it.
Neville and Solomon Crowe are in the tournament. They’re both excited but Solomon freaks Neville out a bit.
Nia Jax is still coming.
Alexa Bliss vs. Blue Pants
Bliss takes Blue Pants down for a beating to start and throws her to the mat by the hair. Pants gets rammed into the buckle and a kick to the back sets up an armbar. Back up and Pants fires off some kicks and a northern lights suplex gets two. She misses a charge in the corner though and the Sparkle Splash gives Alexa the pin at 3:34.
Rating: C-. Total squash but that was exactly what it was supposed to be. Bliss is the evil mastermind and Blue Pants is nothing more than a cult favorite who can only win matches through interference. There’s no point in having her win here when she just shows up for goofy appearances so everyone is fine.
Johnny Gargano and Tommaso Ciampa are in Regal’s office when Tyler Breeze storms in. Tyler demands a spot in the tournament so Regal gives him Bull Dempsey to face Gargano and Ciampa next week.
Emma says the Divas Revolution isn’t happening without her.
Apollo Crews vs. Martin Stone
Apollo starts fast with an armdrag but Stone clotheslines him down to take over. Off to a chinlock for a bit before Crews comes back with a standing enziguri. The gorilla press and standing moonsault put Stone away at 2:57. Crews looked good but he needs to do something besides just being all athletic and awesome.
Chad Gable and Jason Jordan say they’ll get to write this tournament’s history after winning the whole thing. Neville is flying too close to the sun and Crowe is going to be forgotten. Jordan finally says the Ready Willing and Gable line. Gable is money.
Finn Balor is ready to defend his title in Texas, but first of all he’s in the Dusty Classic. His partner, Samoa Joe, comes in and says he wants to win it all. Balor shakes his hand and says he’s ready. So I guess Joe is going to be the next major challenger.
Eva Marie vs. Billie Kay
We get an Eva chant to start, which I don’t buy as legit for a second. Eva fires off some shoulders in the corner and grabs a suplex for two. A seated abdominal stretch is countered by a small package but Eva comes back with a backsplash (that’s WAY too common a move these days) for two more. Kay makes a quick comeback with a clothesline and suplex for two of her own, but the interesting part is the fans booing Eva out of the building for kicking out. That was awesome in a way. Back up and Sliced Red #2 beats Kay at 3:45.
Rating: D. Eva is gorgeous and looks great in her gear, has awesome presence, but above all else, she’s just not that good in the ring. If they try to push her as a star in the division, the heat is going to be out of this world. The NXT fans simply do not want her in their company and it’s not surprising in the slightest.
The Hype Bros and Enzo/Cass argued over what part of New York to celebrate in after winning last week.
Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic: Solomon Crowe/Neville vs. Chad Gable/Jason Jordan
Gable takes Crowe to the mat to start and easily rolls him around into a backslide for two. Back up and Crowe counters a leapfrog into a flapjack (nice move) before it’s off to Neville for a very nice welcome home reaction. Jordan takes Neville down to the mat with some nice amateur stuff but Neville flips out of a suplex and sends Jason to the floor as we take a break. Back with Jordan throwing Solomon down just like he did to Neville before a wicked overhead belly to belly drops Crowe again.
Gable comes back in and mocks Solomon, even having Jordan fan him off while Crowe is on the floor. Jordan throws on a chinlock for a bit before Solomon adds a bow and arrow of his own. The hold is finally broken and Crowe dives over for the tag, allowing Neville to come in for his usual fast paced stuff.
Gable pulls Jason to the floor to break up the Red Arrow. That’s fine with Neville as he dives on both of them with Crowe following with a dive of his own. Back in and Jordan catches Neville’s next dive and throws him face first onto the mat. Crowe tags himself in and gets suplexed again, setting up the Grand Amplitude (the announcers don’t know the name) for the pin at 12:48.
Rating: C+. Good match here and Crowe tagging himself in might lead to a heel turn for him, which probably won’t save him but it’s better than whatever it was he’s been doing for the last few weeks. Neville really does come off as a star here and you can see what they’re going for with the superhero idea.
Overall Rating: C+. I liked the show for the most part and they’re making the tournament feel like a huge deal. That’s exactly what something this important should be and I love the fact that they’ve made the whole promotion want to get involved with it. Good stuff here and what is hopefully the sign of good stuff to come.
Results
Baron Corbin/Rhyno b. Ascension – Gore to Konor
Alexa Bliss b. Blue Pants – Sparkle Splash
Apollo Crews b. Martin Stone – Standing moonsault
Eva Marie b. Billie Kay – Sliced Red #2
Chad Gable/Jason Jordan b. Neville/Solomon Crowe – Grand Amplitude to Crowe
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
This has been rumored for years now and it’s finally happening 32 years later. Snuka already has stomach cancer and there’s a good chance he could be going down for this too. This has really been a bad year for 80s stars but this is a different kind of bad.
Monday Night Raw – August 31, 2015: Male Cheerleaders And The Periodic Table
Monday Night Raw Date: August 31, 2015
Location: Amalie Arena, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield
Last week saw the return of Sting and the disappearance of a statue, meaning tonight is likely to continue the time honored tradition of destroying that statue once and for all. Sting vs. Seth Rollins for the WWE World Title is confirmed for Night of Champions, but what about Rollins’ US Title? John Cena is still lurking so let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of last week’s closing segment where Sting appeared in the statue’s place. HHH made the match after the show went off the air.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Sting (with complete face paint this week) to open things up. JBL: “The man who put Starrcade on the map!” Just….no. Under no circumstances can that be considered correct. Sting hasn’t been around much since Wrestlemania where he lost to HHH. Due to that match, he’ll always have respect for HHH, but now his sights are set on Seth Rollins.
Ever since Wrestlemania it has been injustice after injustice and last week he had to hear Seth Rollins comparing himself to names like Bruno Sammartino, Andre the Giant and the Ultimate Warrior. Sting has won titles around the world but there is one that has eluded him throughout his career. At Night of Champions, Sting is going to prove that Rollins isn’t half the man HHH is and that Rollins can’t hang with Sting on his best day.
Rollins is upset but Stephanie talks him down. Seth lists his accomplishments this year and calls everything Sting said wrong. Stephanie brings up Sting’s comparison to HHH and thinks Sting is absolutely right. Seth wants his statue so Stephanie suggests he go ask Sting.
Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler
An attempt at a single leg doesn’t get Dolph anywhere so he dropkicks Rusev in the face instead. Back in and Rusev slowly stomps Ziggler down, as is his custom. We get a dueling Rusev chant, followed by Dolph missing a splash in the corner. The sleeper slows Rusev down a bit so he backs Ziggler into the corner for a break. Ziggler gets knocked into the barricade and we take a break.
Back with Rusev throwing on a bearhug, which really should have been put on during the break. Rusev misses a charge of his own but easily breaks up a neckbreaker with a suplex. A running flip backsplash gets two more and Ziggler is in trouble. The spinwheel kick gets the same for Rusev but he walks into a superkick out of nowhere.
They head outside with Rusev charging into the steps but both guys dive in to beat the count at nine. Rusev superkicks him down as well because everyone has to use superkicks in this company. Ziggler sneaks out of the Accolade and a quick Zig Zag drops Rusev, only to have Summer come in for the DQ at 14:21.
Rating: D+. This was more long than it was good and again they’re setting up the mixed tag. Why we needed to see another match between the two of them to set up the obvious match is beyond me, but at least they didn’t have a clean finish. Lana is going to be awesome in the ring, mainly because she’s awesome at everything else so why would this be any different?
A catfight ensues until Ziggler pulls them apart.
Post break Ziggler brags about what just happened. He goes into a room as Renee talks a bit and we see Summer sneak in behind him.
It’s time for the Beat the Clock Challenge for the #1 contendership to the Divas Title, but Team Bella has something to say. Nikki is so proud of making it this far, but we’ve got a Bellatron counting us down to the second she breaks the record.
Alicia Fox vs. Becky Lynch
This is the first match in a Beat the Clock Challenge, meaning whoever wins in the shortest time wins, earning a title shot, presumably at Night of Champions. Becky tries for some fast rollups to start but she gets a bit sloppy and Fox takes over. A chinlock slows things down even more and you can see Becky panicking over the time being spent. Back up and some clotheslines get two for Lynch, followed by a springboard kick in the corner. They hit the mat and Becky grabs Disarm-Her for the win at 3:21.
Rating: D. This is the other issue with the Divas Revolution: the newcomers got over having these epic 10-15 minute wars but now they’re stuck with the three minute matches that have plagued the division for years. For once, this isn’t on them because there’s very little they can do in so little time and that’s not going to change.
Ryback talks about defending his title against everyone and tonight the Big Show will be no different. As he’s talking, we hear someone scream and see Summer Rae running out of Ziggler’s locker room. Ziggler is in a towel and looks surprised.
Intercontinental Title: Big Show vs. Ryback
Big Show is challenging, Miz is on commentary and we get big match intros. Show takes him into the corner for the loud chop to start and slowly drops an elbow for a close two. With Ryback down, Show demands a microphone so he can address the PLEASE RETIRE chants. He says find someone to do it so Ryback picks him up for a slam, only to have Show fall on him for two more. Show hits the chinlock for a few moments but Ryback fights up and hits a good looking flying tackle.
The splash is caught by the throat though, only have Ryback slip out and hook a double leg takedown (no that wasn’t a spinebuster) for a near fall of his own. The Meathook is countered into the chokeslam for two but Show goes up. Since we’re in Flair Country, the slam off the top is very appropriate. Another Meathook attempt is countered with a spear but Miz gets up for a distraction, allowing Ryback to grab Shell Shock to retain at 7:14.
Rating: C. They had me worried that they were going to change the title here in what would have been one of the dumbest ideas in a long time. I’m sure we’ll get Miz vs. Ryback now, even though Ryback beat him in two minutes a few weeks back. Ryback is the best Intercontinental Champion in a long time and it’s nice to see the title meaning something.
Charlotte vs. Brie Bella
Charlotte’s time to beat is 3:21 because only PCB can win. Brie starts hiding in the ropes to start because she must “protect the Bella Empire.” A Figure Eight attempt doesn’t work and Charlotte has less than two minutes to go. Instead Natural Selection hits out of nowhere for the pin at 1:40 to set Charlotte’s time.
We look at the Dudleyz returning last week.
The Dudleyz say they’re back for one more title reign because it would make then ten time Tag Team Champions. Tonight: New Day goes through a table.
Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens
Owens talks trash to start (shocking I know) and gets shoved down to the mat. A big boot stops Owens cold and Cesaro casually lifts him up for a suplex, complete with right hands to the gut. Cesaro gets two off a double stomp and it’s time for Owens to bail to the floor. That’s fine with Cesaro, who follows him out with a running European uppercut.
A high cross body gets two for Cesaro but Owens comes back with an elbow to the jaw and a backsplash. Owens: “WHERE’S YOUR SECTION NOW???” A corner clothesline sets up the Cannonball and we hit the chinlock on Cesaro. That goes nowhere so Owens busts out the torture rack neckbreaker for two instead and we take a break.
Back with Cesaro failing to superplex Owens so he dropkicks Kevin in the face and gutwrench superplexes him instead. That reverse Angle Slam gets two for Cesaro but Owens superkicks him for the same. Owens tells Cole to watch but misses another Cannonball.
Instead of doing something smart though, Kevin slaps him in the face. In a scary power display, Cesaro catches a tornado DDT in mid air and slams Owens down into a Crossface. Like, how do you even do that? Cesaro can’t suplex him over the top and Owens knocks him HARD into the announcers’ table. Back in and Cesaro can’t Swing him because of the ribs, allowing the Pop Up Powerbomb to put Cesaro away at 16:10.
Rating: B. I liked this better than the Summerslam match as Owens beat him clear after setting up an injury right before the ending. Cesaro took a great looking bump onto the table and Owens has won his last three singles matches. It’s very nice to see him not jobbing every single week for a change and I’d love to see him go after Ryback and the Intercontinental Title next.
Ziggler tries to explain that he thought Summer was Lana. Nothing happened and he threw on a towel as soon as he knew who it was. Lana doesn’t buy it and leaves.
Dean Ambrose vs. Braun Strowman
The fireflies still look awesome. Bray thanks Abigail for giving him the black sheep as her greatest gift. For thousands of years, mankind has tried to predict the end of the world. Tonight the seventh trumpet sounds and they will walk among you undisguised. Stroman, in a voice that Christian Bale would think is too over the top, says this is the apocalypse. Reigns comes out as backup as you would expect.
Strowman throws Dean around with one hand to start and I think the message has been sent. Dean gets in his fast striking but Stroman just throws him down again. A kick knocks Dean to the floor and the slow beating continues. Reigns finally comes over for the DQ at 3:09.
Rating: D+. Nothing to the match here but it did exactly what it was supposed to. Stroman looks like the best monster that we’ve had in a long time and that’s all he’s supposed to look like. Eventually someone is going to beat him, but until then it’s going to be fun watching him be the modern day Zeus or whatever other monster you pick. It’s an old formula that keeps coming back because it works.
Stroman cleans house and no sells a chair to the back. Reigns’ right hand has a bit more effect but Harper comes in with the superkick to put Roman down. Dean gets choked out and Reigns takes that spinning powerbomb thing. Bray comes in for Sister Abigail to Reigns. Notice that Bray didn’t have to do a thing here, which is exactly why he needs minions.
We look at Rollins beating Cena at Summerslam.
Clip of Sting’s opening promo.
Rollins wants his statue back and tells Sting to stay out of his business. Maybe if Sting had a subscription to the WWE Network, he could know how great Seth has been. Yeah HHH used to be a big deal, but HHH never held the US and WWE World Titles at the same time.
Paige vs. Sasha Banks
Paige has to beat 1:40 so she starts very fast and gets some rollups for two each. The fans are split as Paige fires off some running knees for two. The Rampaige connects but Tamina and Naomi pull Sasha to the floor as the clock runs out at 1:40.
Team Bella comes out to pose.
Summer Rae says that Ziggler called her into his locker room but then he just started stripping. She was mesmerized and speechless and then he asked her to join him in the shower. After he got out, he gave Summer the look but she ran out. Summer will never forget the image though.
Lana is crying and can’t say anything.
New Day vs. Dudley Boyz
Non-title. Woods calls the Dudleyz a menace to culture, society and furniture around the world. Big E. asks if you remember the times sitting around the table with your granny and that weird uncle around the Thanksgiving table. Or all that money you cleaned up at the poker table. Or all those summers around the pool table. And where would we be without the Periodic Table? Remember all the fun you had learning your multiplication table? Big E. and Kofi pull out what Woods calls the last table (covered in bubble wrap) here tonight. A SAVE THE TABLES chant takes us to a break before the match.
The Prime Time Players are on commentary as Big E. and D-Von get things going. But it’s quickly off to Bubba vs. Kofi. Woods suggests clapping but Bubba turns it into NEW DAY SUCKS. A clothesline under the arm stops Kofi cold and New Day is sent out to the floor as we take a break. Back with D-Von clotheslining both champions down but Woods low bridges him to the floor. As Woods brushes his hair, Big E. drives D-Von into the barricade. That sounds like a valid reason to dance to me and Big E. agrees.
The rotating stomps set up Big E.’s splash for two. An abdominal stretch slows things down and Kofi’s chinlock does the same. Woods mocks the TABLES chant but Kofi dives into a clothesline, allowing for the tag off to Bubba. Bubba hiptosses Woods in but D-Von hiptosses him right back out in a funny spot. 3D quickly ends Kofi, which JBL calls the Dudleyz’ first match in WWE in ten years. Even he doesn’t watch Smackdown.
Rating: C. I liked the match but the booking makes my head hurt. You have three members of New Day and two of them are the recognized Tag Team Champions. I think you get what I’m going for here. It’s very interesting that the Dudleyz have been doing the same thing for about ten years now and it’s still more entertaining than 90% of most tag teams.
Here’s Seth Rollins to call out Sting. The things Sting said earlier tonight showed him why WCW went out of business. We can’t possibly be talking about that again…..right? Rollins wants Sting to take back what he said about HHH being that much better than him because Seth is every bit as good as HHH and one day could even be better. However, Rollins wants his status but gets Stephanie instead.
She suggests the Rollins chill out because Sting is getting in his head over a stupid statue. Rollins still wants his statue but this time gets John Cena. John talks about the Authority bending Rollins to their will because that’s what they do. They picked Rollins because he was the only one willing to stab the Shield in the back. Rollins is going to be the flavor of the month because the Authority would never allow him to do what he’s about to do right now.
Rollins has a lot of titles right now and since the Authority said every title is on the line at Night of Champions, Cena is cashing in his rematch for the US Title on the same night Rollins has to defend against Sting. Cena asks Stephanie if he can do that and she reluctantly agrees. Sting comes out to pose with Cena to end the show.
Overall Rating: B. This was one of the best shows they’ve had in a very long time. It kept moving all night and they didn’t have anything out there that took too long. There’s enough stuff going on here to find something interesting and nothing was really bad. Well maybe the opening match but at least it led somewhere. I had a really good time with this show and it flew by, which is a rare thing for Raw.
Results
Dolph Ziggler b. Rusev via DQ when Summer Rae interfered
Becky Lynch b. Alicia Fox – Disarm-Her
Ryback b. Big Show – Shell Shock
Charlotte b. Brie Bella – Natural Selection
Cesaro b. Kevin Owens – Pop Up Powerbomb
Braun Stroman b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Roman Reigns interfered
Paige vs. Sasha Banks went to a time limit draw
Dudley Boyz b. New Day – 3D to Kingston
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
We’re past what is still called the second biggest show of the year (I’ve been swayed to the idea that the Raw after Wrestlemania has taken that spot) and things were……there. I’ve had the better part of a week to digest the show now and I’m still not sure how I feel about it, so maybe I can figure it out by writing a long winded recap. Let’s get to it.
There was no match on the preshow for reasons that aren’t clear. I’m sure this will in no way cause the show to feel rushed because there’s an extra match packed in.
Host Jon Stewart came out and said he was here to fight Brock Lesnar, with assistance from Mick Foley. The gag was that Foley thought it was to deal with his friend Rock instead of Brock so this isn’t happening. Stewart is all “ok” and that’s it. This was straight out of the Bundy vs. Gatorwolf days of Saturday Night’s Main Event to remind you that Stewart is in fact here.
Sheamus pinned Orton clean in a watchable opener. I say opener because I have issues calling anything these two do good or interesting. There are some people who simply do not have chemistry and Orton vs. Sheamus is one such pairing. I like both guys, but I don’t need to see them fighting, especially after Orton pinned Sheamus clean last month. It’s a classic case of “why are these two still fighting” and I’ve yet to hear either of them give a reason other than “we were fighting last month so we should fight again because clean endings mean nothing”. Not a good match but the lack of caring really hurt it.
So after that pretty lame opening, let’s crank things up a bit by taking eight guys and have them fly around the ring for ten minutes after New Day sang a version of Jay-Z’s New York (which might get WWE in trouble because copyright claims have reached the point where a parody song is somehow infringing on someone’s intellectual property because……well because America is obsessed with lawsuits that’s why.).
This is one of those matches where you can’t bother calling the action because it’s all about the frantic pace. Well that and Xavier Woods NOT SHUTTING UP, and that’s the entire point. Woods is supposed to be the most annoying guy in the world and fans getting fed up with him proves that he’s doing his job exactly right. Eventually New Day got the titles back and oh sweet goodness am I glad they did as the comedy is just excellent, much like their celebratory dance upon getting the titles back. This was a really fun match and probably should have opened the show.
Undertaker walked past Jon Stewart and Stephen Amell and had smoke following him. It’s not 1994 and Heaven help us if that’s what WWE thinks we should be doing again.
Rusev and Dolph Ziggler had a long TV match that ended in a double countout so we can have the mixed tag that they wanted to do instead. Ziggler and Lana have about as much chemistry as a history book, which makes the story odd as everyone else works pretty well together. If nothing else, Lana in the 80s jeans attire works very, very well so there’s something positive here. The match could have been on any given Raw though and that’s not good on Summerslam.
Next up was a very nice treat as Stephen Amell and Neville beat Stardust and King Barrett. This worked far better than I was expecting as you had Amell give one of the best performances of all time by a celebrity. It was clear that he wanted to be out there and was having a blast, while also showing off some awesome athleticism. You would think Amell would pin Stardust here but there are rumors that another match might take place, which wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. However, why bother having Stardust take a fall when Barrett can instead?
The Triple threat match for the Intercontinental Title was exactly what I was expecting: nothing great, a way for Ryback to look good, and short. This seemed like the match that was the most hurt by the lack of a match on the preshow as it didn’t even get six minutes. That being said, I’m really not sure how much more time would have helped here, as there was no reason for these guys to be fighting other than “I want your title!”
I’m assuming we’ll get Miz vs. Ryback for the title soon, because Ryback beating Miz in a non-title singles match in less than three minutes warrants a title match, since, as the Divas Champion would say the next night on Raw: “wins and losses don’t matter.” And WWE still has the nerve to wonder why no one watches their shows.
Jon Stewart and Paul Heyman traded lines. This was what you would expect.
The Shield guys beat the Wyatt Family in about what you would expect, minus the heel turn. This was done exactly as it should have been: as a fight instead of a match. These guys are capable of having a very hard hitting and energetic tag match so just let them do that instead of trying to make something into whatever it’s not supposed to be.
That being said, I never, in my entire life, need to see Roman Reigns and Luke Harper in the same ring again. Not even counting the tag matches, they had 40 minutes worth of singles matches in a month and almost all of them were the same. Factor in all the tags they’ve been in and my goodness. This may not have been the highest quality match, but it was a lot of fun.
Now we get to one of the major matches of the night. I’m not going to bore you with the details of the match (It’s John Cena vs. Seth Rollins for twenty minutes. You know the wrestling itself is going to be good) because this is all about the ending. For reasons that are much easier to comprehend than they seem on the surface, Jon Stewart came in and attacked Cena with a chair (after the required ref bump of course), costing Cena the match and the US Title.
I didn’t get this one at first but it became very clear the next night on Raw, which I’ll get to when I look at that show gain. That being said, gah. I knew something wacky was coming but that doesn’t make it any less annoying. I like the idea of Rollins holding the title though, as he had to vanquish Cena at some point to legitimize his reign. This was basically fighting to a draw until Stewart came out though, and that’s the best possible thing for Rollins at this point. Heck of a match too, as you had to expect.
So then we got to the nightly “THE BELLAS ARE AWESOME AND EMPOWER WOMEN” segment of the night, which makes whatever feminist there is in me cringe more every time they speak. PCB beat the other two teams in another match that means absolutely nothing. Unfortunately this meant that we had to sit through the Bellas being in control for about eight minutes and the match just died.
The Bellas are very good at generating heat, but like the old villains of WCW, that all goes away as soon as the bell rings because they’re just so boring between the ropes. The match was begging for Sasha Banks, the crowd favorite by a mile, to come in and clean house, so of course she was on offense for about thirty seconds.
This was another moment that made me realize that the Divas Revolution isn’t going anywhere. It’s another way to feature the Bellas, who started their big story (kind of) a year ago at Summerslam. This is of course ignoring the stuff that led up to Nikki turning heel, meaning they’ve been the top story for roughly fifteen months now. It’s another Bellas story and that’s all it was really ever destined to be. As usual, WWE is great at creating false hope, but the fact that their fans are suckered into it every single time should be much more telling.
The next to last match was Kevin Owens vs. Cesaro, which was almost a no win situation. Owens got the pin, which is a good thing as far as him regaining some momentum, but the fact that he beat Cesaro a night after a brutal ladder match really doesn’t make Cesaro look good. That being said, Cesaro has gone from red hot to just Cesaro again, because WWE is fine with treating him like a breakout star for a month and then using him to get someone else over time after time. You really have to expect it at this point and that’s sad.
Now we get to the main event, which is getting more talk than anything else, albeit only for the last thirty seconds. Instead of just talking about the ending, I’d like to talk a little bit about the match itself, which is being forgotten due to how messy the finish was. This match was what they wanted Wrestlemania XXX to be with the two guys just beating the tar out of each other. Well that and Undertaker’s head not being scrambled but I thought that was obvious.
I liked the match more than I was expecting to with the spot of Undertaker sitting up and laughing at Brock before they slugged it out on the mat being a major highlight. However, you could see that Undertaker was getting weaker and weaker out there and I really don’t need to see him trying to pull off one more miracle in one more match. Wrestlemania XXX was bad, Wrestlemania XXXI was passable, and this one was a borderline miracle. Just let it go, but you know we can’t do that because of how this match ended.
As I’m sure you know by now, Undertaker tapped out in the Kimura but the referee didn’t see it. Instead the timekeeper rang the bell, allowing Undertaker to hit Brock low (so much for selling the hold) and put on the Hell’s Gate to make Brock pass out. So yeah, this was a way to set up a third match, likely at Wrestlemania, because we need a trilogy because those are cool. It didn’t work in the HHH feud and I really don’t see it working here either, though this could be better. I’m beyond the point of caring about Undertaker though, as he already lost the Streak and now he’s tapped out. What’s his career worth now anyway?
So that’s Summerslam and my big takeaway from is is that people are talking about how the matches ended, now what the endings mean or lead to. The big stories have been the timekeeper and Jon Stewart, not Seth Rollins beating John Cena or what is likely going to be a featured match or maybe even the main event (Heaven help us). I liked the show well enough, but there’s just something about this show that makes me wonder what it accomplished. This felt like a big build to other shows, which isn’t what the second biggest show of the year should be about.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at: