http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-stop-brock-lesnar-220-easy-remember-steps/27272/

The pre-show match saw RVD beat Cesaro. The match was fine, but why in the world do you put Van Dam over if he’s going to be leaving soon anyway? Wouldn’t you want to have someone go over Van Dam to get every bit of value out of him before he leaves? Either way, the match was fine and Cesaro got to show off his freakish strength all over again.

Hogan hyped the Network to open the show. Nothing wrong with that as this was about getting people watching on regular PPV to switch over.

Ziggler took the IC Title from Miz. I’m fine with this as Ziggler’s pops are hard to ignore. No he doesn’t belong in the main event scene (especially with Lesnar on top now) but giving him the Intercontinental Title is fine. The fact that I was right about Ziggler starting to lose as soon as he got the title makes me shake my head though.

Brie did her serious promo about Stephanie. For the most part it was nothing, but this did throw in the line of Stephanie paying off the physical therapist. In theory that writes off the character and story, which seems to be the right idea as it went over horribly.

Paige beat AJ Lee with the Rampaige DDT to get the Divas Title back. I really liked this, as the whole division is such a joke other than these two. This was a physical, back and forth match with both chicks beating the tar out of each other until Paige pinned her with a really cool finisher. I could see these two fighting for years and I’d be fine with that. With the rumor of Charlotte being called up, there’s actually a glimmer of hope for the division.

Rusev beat Jack Swagger in a pretty good power match. They did a good job of false finishes with the possiblity of Rusev tapping, but at the end of the day putting Rusev over is the right call. They didn’t have Swagger tap out to save face in a smart move. Good stuff here, especially Lana’s legs. Colter got kicked in the head, likely writing him off TV, at least for now.

Ambrose and Rollins had a really good lumberjack brawl with everyone beating each other up as lumberjacks are supposed to do. They did the right thing here of letting them go crazy which is what Ambrose vs. Rollins should have been the entire time. The problem here though was Kane. Whenever he comes out he just drags things to a halt with his corporate nonsense. There comes a point where you need to drop some of the storyline stuff and just let there be carnage. People are waiting for these two to tear each other’s heads off but then you have Corporate Kane coming out to keep things settled. Drop it already, or at least get someone fresh in the role. I love Kane, but we’ve covered this. A lot.

Bray Wyatt went over Chris Jericho in the match that should have happened at Battleground. Both guys got in some solid shots and Bray hit Sister Abigail into the barricade and another in the ring for the pin. Bray looked dominant but it was far from a squash. The fact that Bray is still as over as he is gives me hope for him. I’m really not sure where they’re going with him but he needs to win another feud before moving up the ladder again.

Now we get to the second most talked about match on the card with Brie vs. Stephanie. There are two ways to think about this match. First of all, Stephanie (who can still rock the heck out of a tight leather outfit) is pretty clearly as good of a Diva as almost any ever. She worked a solid pace, her moved looked good, she worked the crowd, and didn’t look bad at any point of the match. Name one Diva who regularly does that. Like ever. The Divas division has been a joke for years but she was absolutely awesome here.

That being said, this brings us to the booking. Aside from people just not caring about the story (seriously WWE, no one cares. They just don’t) and Brie being so bad she needs a telescope to look up and see horrible, this story called for Brie to get her revenge over Stephanie. She’s been humiliated and beaten up, and then at the end of the day we see her get pinned when her sister turns on her.

Speaking of Nikki, this is another story where people just do not care. Why am I supposed to be interested in seeing the Bellas fight? The only thing I can think of is WWE wants to bring in the crossover audience from Total Divas, but it’s not worth getting on the nerves of your core audience. This story closed two Raws heading up to Summerslam (and opened the show after it) and the fans’ reactions have been nothing but bad. I agree that Stephanie has been awesome in this story, but she needed to do the job at the end. Have Nikki ruin Brie’s moment or something, but let Brie have the moment to give the fans something to smile at.

Video on some guy that won a contest and called himself Mama’s Boy. Next.

Roman Reigns beat Randy Orton in probably the biggest win of his career. This was what it needed to be booking wise, but I really didn’t like the match for the most part. It wasn’t bad, but it didn’t make me drool over Reigns. The key thing here though was Orton hit the RKO and Reigns kicked out at two, hit both his finishers and got a clean pin.

There might be a rematch with Orton and then it’s HHH’s turn to do the job before Reigns wins the Rumble and fights Lesnar (in theory) for the title at Wrestlemania. It’s a simple story but if they do it right, Reigns can look great. He’s the kind of guy where the in ring stuff doesn’t need to blow you away. He needs to be a guy people get behind and buy as unstoppable, which is what seems to be happening.

This brings me to the main event, which is the most talked about match since Brock broke the Streak. This match was a squash with Brock basically no selling the AA and STF. Brock destroyed Cena for about fifteen minutes and then hit an F5 for the pin and the title. This is a risky move, but they left in enough backdoors to give someone else a chance to take Brock down. I mentioned this earlier but I might as well do it again.

The key thing here was Cena’s strategy. He charged right at Brock to start and got destroyed as a result. Look at the Punk vs. Lesnar match from last year’s show. Punk survived the opening onslaught and then used whatever shots he could to stay alive. Brock finally made a mistake and Punk was able to make a match of it. Cena on the other hand played right into Brock’s hands and lost at Brock’s own game. If you build off that, there’s a very interesting story to be told. It worked with Vader and Sting, it can work with Brock and anyone else.

Overall Summerslam was about as awesome as it could have been with nothing being bad and the absolutely right call at the end of the show. It wasn’t as good as last year’s show but that’s not a fair comparison. Everything worked and I had a great time watching it. It sets up a lot of stuff for the future and that’s something WWE really needs to do right now. Great show.

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Last night, evil won. Brock Lesnar is the new WWE World Heavyweight Champion and squashed John Cena in the process. That’s the only word to descirbe it. Lesnar massacred Cena with John getting in as much offense as the Brooklyn Brawler would have. The questions now are where in the world do we go from here and who could possibly stop Brock Lesnar? Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the entire show last night.

Here’s Stephanie to Daniel Bryan’s music coming down the aisle, because there’s nothing else to open the show right? There are new microphone cubes with the new logo. She talks about how important last night was before promising a new title belt for Brock Lesnar tonight. The Authority wishes Cena a speedy recovery, but there are other people who have injuries to heal from. There’s also Chris Jericho and Dean Ambrose, but the biggest loser of them all is Brie Bella.

However, she can’t take all of the credit because she has to thank HHH. Stephanie thanks him for what he did last night but also has to thank Brie’s sister Nikki. This brings out Nikki who hugs Stephanie, basically erasing all of the beatings that Stephanie has caused. Nikki talks about the Bellas coming to the WWE and saying it was them against the world. However, it’s always been about Brie, even back to when they were kids.

She’s sick of hearing Brie tell her she’s never going to have a husband (storyline from Total Divas), even though she didn’t have to marry Daniel Bryan. Nikki feels free now that she’s standing on her own two feet, but here’s Brie with a rebuttal. Brie talks about sisterly love and how Nikki has destroyed their family. Nikki says Brie destroyed it and slaps her, sending Brie crying to the back.

Back from a break and we look at the slap again.

Wyatt Family vs. Big Show/Mark Henry

Henry hammers on Rowan to start but runs into an elbow. It’s quickly off to Harper who gets yelled at and headbutted into the corner. More headbutts stagger Harper and it’s off to Big Show for the loud chop. Some shots the ribs have Harper in even more trouble and his shots have almost no effect. Big Show cleans house and sends Harper outside as we take a break.

Back with Luke snapping Big Show’s throat across the top rope to take over. Rowan tries to help but gets caught trying a low bridge. The distraction works though as Harper kicks Big Show out to the floor. Off to Rowan who kicks Big Show in the face on the floor as the evil monsters take over. Back in and Harper wins a minor slugout before Rowan throws Big Show into a superkick for two.

Harper actually Gator Rolls Big Show before putting on a chinlock. Rowan comes back in and clotheslines Big Show before slamming him with ease. I mean he turned Show upside down and had time to move his arm around Big Show’s head. Big Show pops up (to be fair it was just a slam) and catches Rowan with a DDT. The hot tag brings in Mark Henry and everything breaks down. Luke breaks up the World’s Strongest Slam with a big boot to Rowan’s back but Big Show comes in and KO Punches both guys. A World’s Strongest Slam to Rowan is enough for the pin at 11:46.

Rating: C+. Good match here with both teams working hard and showing off some very good power stuff. That slam from Rowan made my eyes go big though as he doesn’t get to show off that much. I’m not wild on the Wyatts doing another job like this but it’s something you have to expect from time to time.

Ric Flair congratulates Ziggler for winning the Intercontinental Title. Miz comes in and says he’s going to take the title back tonight.

We recap the lumberjack match before going to Rollins in the back. Rollins talks about how he knew he could beat Ambrose and that’s exactly what he did. He says he’s the future WWE World Heavyweight Champion as well as the future of the entire WWE. Ambrose comes up behind him with a bucket of ice water. Ambrose: “IT’S FOR CHARITY!” My goodness it’s a modern reference in WWE. A brawl breaks out and is quickly broken up.

After a break Rollins rants to the Authority and is given a rematch against Ambrose tonight. The WWE Universe will get to pick the stipulations.

Paige vs. Natalya

Non-title and Natalya is now in shorts. Paige talks about how much she respects and loves AJ, even dedicating the match to her. Feeling out process to start and they quickly trade backslides. Paige escapes hers though and kicks Natalya in the back of the head to take over. She crawls on top of Natalya for the pop of the night before headbutting her without seeming to make much contact. Cue AJ skipping down to the ring, allowing Natalya to get a rollup win at 1:46.

AJ says that despite everything, she still respects and loves Paige. She offers to come in and shake Paige’s hand, sending Paige running to the floor.

The options for Ambrose vs. Rollins are:

No Holds Barred
Falls Count Anywhere
No DQ

HHH and Stephanie, now in a very low cut black dress after being in a t-shirt and jeans earlier, are out to unveil the new title. It’s the same design that Rock introduced a few years back but with the new logo and a bit shinier. The side plates are Brock’s skull tattoo. He brings out Brock Lesnar for the presentation and shakes his hand before posing for a photo op. A loud LESNAR chant starts up as HHH raises Brock’s arm.

Heyman slowly does his intro and says Cena isn’t here this evening. That basically gets a standing ovation. Heyman says Cena can’t be here because he can’t physically appear, thanks to Brock Lesnar. Brock is sitting on a stool with the biggest grin on his face, knowing no one can touch him.

Paul goes on a rant about how important Brock’s accomplishments last night were. Rock was on top for three years. Steve Austin (POP) was on top for three years. John Cena has been on top for TEN YEARS and was tough enough to stick around longer than thirty seconds last night. Heyman saw a look on Cena’s face last night and that was when he got it.

Cena’s speeches get on Heyman’s nerves but he kept coming back for more and more because he never gives up. Cena earned Heyman’s respect to the point where he would love to make John a Paul Heyman Guy. If the history of WWE was written right before Brock pinned him last night, Heyman would be the hardest fighting champion in WWE history.

However, Brock doesn’t agree with these views. In Lesnar’s universe, street cred doesn’t matter. In Brock’s universe, he who dies with the most street cred still dies. The Undertaker’s career and Streak died at Lesnar’s hands and the concept of hustle, loyalty and respect and the Cenation died at Lesnar’s hands.

The same thing is happening to anyone who comes to take the WWE Title from Brock Lesnar. Heyman sums up the match last night: Suplex, repeat, suplex, repeat, suplex, repeat, suplex, repeat, suplex, repeat. Lesnar lives by the motto of Eat, Sleep, Conquer Repeat, but now it’s Eat, Sleep, Conquer John Cena. Another awesome promo here from Lesnar and they were right to not have anyone come out here.

Here’s Nikki slapping Brie again.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler

Dolph is defending after beating Miz for the title last night. This actually gets big match intros. A hiptoss puts Miz down for two and Dolph puts on a headlock. Miz goes after the knee and stomps away in the corner. He wraps the leg around the post and Ziggler is in trouble as we take a break.

Back with Ziggler getting two off a sunset flip and hitting the running DDT for the same. Miz comes right back with a shot to the knee and puts on the Figure Four. Dolph dives to the ropes and rolls outside for a breather. Miz reaches out for Dolph but gets rammed into the apron. Dolph gets kicked away though and that’s a countout at 7:20.

Rating: D+. Last night I said that Dolph was going to start losing a lot more because he was the Intercontinental Champion, and apparently I was absolutely right. It wasn’t a pin, but man alive does this feud really need to continue? The match wasn’t the worst in the world but these two have fought enough already.

Post match Dolph lays him out with the Zig Zag.

Jack Swagger is disappointed in his loss last night and failed his country last night. However, We The People is about coming together when times get tough. He’s going to do what any Real American should do and get back up.

Jack Swagger vs. Cesaro

Swagger is here alone. Cesaro starts with a gutwrench suplex on the bad ribs and it’s quickly off to the abdominal stretch. He switches off to an armbar and Swagger comes back with a big boot and the Vader Bomb. Cesaro drapes the bad ribs over the ropes but his running big boot is caught in the Patriot Lock while Swagger is still on the apron. Back in and Cesaro pokes the eye, setting up the Neutralizer for the pin at 4:40.

Rating: D+. Well at least Cesaro won. I’m not sure where they’re going with this character with Swagger, but it’s nice to see him getting a push instead of just stagnating like he was. Cesaro getting the pin is another good thing to see, even if it’s in a pretty meaningless match. At least it was short.

Post match Cesaro laughs at Swagger until Bo Dallas comes out. He talks about the 318 million Americans that Jack let down. Swagger has lost everything, but he just has to Bo-Lieve to get it all back.

Chris Jericho says he’s never seen anyone like Bray Wyatt. The Spider Walk is one of the most disturbing things he’s ever seen. There’s nothing behind Bray’s eyes though and when he told Jericho that he was already dead, Jericho knew it was a lie. He has three things Bray will never have: a fire burning inside him, a fighting spirit and the best fans in WWE history.

Randy Orton/Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. Rob Van Dam/Roman Reigns/Sheamus

Sheamus runs over Axel to start but Axel nails him in the ribs before bringing in Orton. Off to Van Dam who kicks Randy down and hits a quick Rolling Thunder to send Orton to the floor and us to a break. Back with Sheamus hitting the ten forearms to Axel’s chest before doing the same to Ryback. Orton low bridges Sheamus to the floor and the heels take over again. Sheamus is sent over the timekeeper’s table as the fans chant FEED MORE ME and RYBACK RULES for the hometown guy.

Randy makes a big deal out of tagging Ryback in and the Big Guy is ready for the task for once. Ryback drives shoulders into the ribs in the corner before putting Sheamus in a front facelock. There’s a delayed vertical suplex for two and it’s back to Orton. Sheamus backdrops out of the Elevated DDT and it’s hot tag to Reigns so house can be cleaned. The apron kick nails Axel and it’s Superman Punches for the tag team.

Orton breaks up the spear with a backbreaker but Reigns tags in Van Dam who cross bodies Axel for two. The split legged moonsault gets the same and everything brekas down. A Brogue Kick drops Ryback but an RKO puts Sheamus down. Reigns is sent into the post but RVD kicks Axel down and the Five Star gets the pin at 11:10.

Rating: C. Not bad here but I’m not sure why you would have Van Dam get the pin instead of Reigns. I get not having Reigns pin Orton again but he can’t get a win over someone like Curtis Axel? The match was fine and the ending was better than most of the rest of the match. It was fine and about the right length too.

We recap the ice bucket thing from earlier.

Orton is walking in the back when Ric Flair comes up. Randy threatens to beat him up and Flair stares at him.

Bray Wyatt says he was riding on a pale horse to come after Chris Jericho last night. He warned Jericho that this was coming and he certainly is a man of his word. Jericho claims that he looked in Bray’s eyes last night and saw nothing. Maybe Chris is right. Maybe Bray doesn’t have a soul and the only purpose he has on this earth is to collect. Jericho may never be able to comprehend what he is. Bray declares himself the new face of salvation. Follow the buzzards.

We see the slap for the fourth time.

Usos vs. Goldust/Stardust

Non-title. Goldust and Jey start things off with Jey grabbing a quick rollup for two. Jimmy comes in and dances a bit before starting on the arm. It’s off to Stardust who gets forearmed in the face in the corner as this is one sided so far. Jey cranks on a chinlock for a good while until Stardust escapes into a sunset flip for the pin out of nowhere at 5:52.

Rating: D+. This didn’t work all that well and I really don’t like a second champion losing in a single night. I’m also not sure where we’re going with the Usos as they haven’t appeared in awhile but now we have the Dusts and Big Show/Mark Henry ready for a title match. Oh wait: triple threat it is I guess.

Lana and Rusev come out to brag but Mark Henry interrupts. Henry talks about representing the United States twice in the Olympic Games, and this is the only time he’s ever had a problem with anyone representing their flag. Last night what he saw got under his skin so he’s going to do something about it. Henry offers to give Rusev a guided tour of the Hall of Pain. The brawl is on with Henry laying Rusev out and Mark celebrating with everyone at ringside.

Preview of a documentary of the Shield coming to Summerslam.

We look back at Brock and Heyman from earlier.

Falls count anywhere wins the poll with 41% of the vote.

Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose

Falls count anywhere. Rollins wins an early slugout and they quickly fight into the crowd with Dean getting a two count. They go up by the stage and fight over various dangerous moves. Ambrose suplexes him down for two and takes it back to the ring. Dean throws in a bunch of chairs and slams both one of them and Rollins down at the same time. A middle rope elbow with the chair gets two but Rollins sends him face first into a chair in the corner for two.

Back with Rollins holding a Singapore cane around Dean’s face. He picks Ambrose up and knocks him into the ropes before ducking the Rebound Clothesline. An enziguri gets two on Dean and a tornado DDT gets the same on Seth. They slug it out from their knees and a catapult sends Rollins into the buckle. Dean hammers away with the Singapore Cane and uses it for a Russian legsweep for two. Ambrose throws in a pile of chairs and loads up a superplex, only to have Rollins counter into a running sitout powerbomb onto the chairs for TWO. Kane is at ringside and Rollins throws in a table.

Seth loads up a top rope Curb Stomp through the table but Dean pops up for a superplex to drive Rollins through instead. He has to go after Kane though and sends Rollins out to the floor. There’s the suicide dive to take both guys out and Kane is down. Back in and the Rebound Clothesline sets up Dirty Deeds but Kane interferes AGAIN.

Ambrose sends Kane into the steps and backdrops Seth into the crowd. Kane is sent over the announcers’ table, allowing Dean to get a running start to dive over the barricade at Rollins. Dean loads up the announcers’ table but Kane breaks up Dirty Deeds and chokeslams Dean onto the table instead. A Curb Stomp onto the table (still didn’t break) knocks Dean silly but Kane lists up another table to reveal a bunch of cinder blocks. Seth Curb Stomps Dean’s head THROUGH THE BLOCKS and Dean is done. The referee calls the match at 20:26.

Rating: A-. Now THAT was a brawl. It took awhile to get going but the stuff after the break was the war that it was supposed to be. This is the match that they should have had last night, though the injury angle keeps things going in a few months. That ending spot was insane though and will likely write Dean off TV long enough to make a movie that no one is going to see because WWE is about entertainment and not wrestling.

Overall Rating: B-. I liked the show but as usual, it needed to be an hour (and two slap replays) shorter. Brock not having a challenger yet is fine as Cena will return next week to probably set up their rematch. The rest of the show set up a few new things while also bringing up some rematches for Night of Champions. It’s a good show though and a nice followup to last night’s really good pay per view. The wrestling wasn’t great but the stories were, and that’s what people have been concerned about lately.

Results
Mark Henry/Big Show b. Wyatt Family – World’s Strongest Slam to Rowan
Natalya b. Paige – Rollup
The Miz b. Dolph Ziggler via countout
Cesaro b. Jack Swagger – Neutralizer
Sheamus/Rob Van Dam/Roman Reigns b. Curtis Axel/Ryback/Roman Reigns – Five Star Frog Splash to Axel
Goldust/Stardust b. Usos – Sunset flip to Jey
Seth Rollins b. Dean Ambrose via referee’s stoppage

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There’s no chance this isn’t good: Vince McMahon.

WWF World Title: Vince McMahon vs. Steve Austin

This should have headlined Mania 15. Vince slaps Austin while the Stooges and Slaughter are there for backup. Vince grabs the mic and mentions the one arm tied behind your back line that Austin said earlier. He insists it’s the right arm, the Stunner arm. After a ton of stalling, heeeeeeeeeeeere’s Dude!

Dude Love comes out and says he doesn’t feel much love here tonight. He says he has to protect Vince because Vince signs the checks. Vince shoves Dude after he talks nice about Foley so Dude loads up the Claw. Austin comes over out of boredom. Love is the new big bad from Vince and is the opponent at Unforgiven. Again, Foley is used to make the new megastar look good.

Since this is Vince, we’ll have a lot of jumping to do. From Raw on Febraury 13, 1999.

Steve Austin vs. The Corporation

It’s a gauntlet match and Shamrock is up first. Slugout to start of course with Shamrock taking him down. The fans tell Vince that he screwed Bret. Austin escapes the ankle lock and hits the Stunner, but here’s Test for the DQ. He’s the next man as well and is Stunned in less than a minute, but Kane runs in for the seconds DQ. Kane chokes away in the corner but gets caught by the Thesz Press.

Austin pounds away but Kane gets a boot up to stop Austin. There’s the chokeslam but Austin kicks out at two. The Tombstone is countered into a Stunner but Chyna comes in for the DQ. I think the match only ends in a pinfall which is why they keep running in. Chyna comes in and takes a Stunner so here’s Boss Man. Austin hooks a sleeper but Boss Man escapes and gets the nightstick for the DQ. Austin is dead so Vince comes in and pins him.

Rating: D. You can barely call this a match as it was really just a way for Vince to get one up on Austin. The longest of the falls lasted about 80 seconds, so what are you expecting this to be? Nothing to see here but Vince’s charisma is incredible when he’s out there with Austin which makes up for some of the flaws. Also it’s less than seven minutes long so how annoyed can I get?

The main event from In Your House XXVII, the only time this happened on PPV.

Vince McMahon vs. Steve Austin

This had to headline a pay per view at some point. Austin gets in the cage first so Vince makes him wait a bit longer. Steve gets tired of waiting and chases Vince around the cage but the boss gets inside to hide. The bell hasn’t rung yet. Austin tries to climb up the cage but Vince punches from his high ground. Steve slips off the side of the cage and seems to have twisted his knee. Like an idiot, Vince comes out to check on it and gets clotheslined by a healthy Austin.

McMahon is sent into the side of the cage and choked with a cord. They fight into the crowd with Austin in complete control. Austin hits him in the head with the bell, making it ring the hard way. The match still hasn’t actually started yet. Back to ringside with Vince being sent into the steps and running into the crowd to try to get away. The beating continues until Austin knocks Vince back to ringside. Vince tries to climb into the cage where there’s less to cause him pain.

Austin won’t let that happen though and rams Vince face first into the cage over and over. Vince tries to climb again but this time Austin follows him up and slams Vince’s head into the top of the cage, sending him flying off the cage and onto the Spanish announce table. McMahon’s head bounces off a monitor, knocking him out cold for a bit in a scary landing. Everything stops as Vince is taken away by medics and Austin chills in the cage.

The Fink is about to announce Austin as the winner but Austin isn’t cool with that. He guaranteed to take Vince apart tonight, and since the bell never rang that’s not good enough for him. Austin asks the doctor if Vince is still breathing, because if he is the fight isn’t done yet. Vince is pulled off the stretcher and hit in the back with a backboard before finally being thrown into the cage for the opening bell.

Austin hits a quick clothesline and a middle rope elbow before going to leave, but Vince makes the eternal mistake of flipping Austin off. Steve climbs back inside and stomps a mudhole in the corner. Somehow Vince fights out with a low blow to get himself a breather before climbing up the cage. Austin pulls Vince down off the cage and leaves him in a heap. The boss is busted open and Lawler is losing his mind.

Steve can’t help but smile and climb the cage but Vince looks up at him and flips him off AGAIN, bringing Austin back to the ring. Austin stomps on him even more, leaving Vince crumpled down in the corner. There’s the Stunner but as Austin talks trash, a monster called Paul Wight breaks through the ring and throws Austin into the cage before helping Vince to his feet. Wight throws Austin against the cage but the wall breaks, allowing Austin to drop down for the win.

Rating: C. This is a hard one to grade because it was again a story rather than a match. The ending was very smart though as Wight got to debut but also look strong with Austin winning due to Wight’s strength. Austin got to give Vince the beating he needed to and win a the same time, but Vince gets to continue the feud with his new monster. In case you didn’t recognize the name, Wight would soon be called The Big Show Paul Wight.

Vince and Shane would join forces to fight Austin at King of the Ring 1999.

Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. Steve Austin

Oh of course Shane is in it. This is a ladder match for control of the company, which is of course logical: the future of a billion dollar company and its ownership is being decided by a ladder match. Shane is announced as the replacement…for himself…making the whole thing earlier tonight about Shane being too hurt and a replacement being needed, you guessed it, COMPLETELY POINTLESS.

That should be Russo’s middle name: Vince Completely Pointless Russo. The problem with Shane being the partner is that it’s exactly what it was supposed to be in the first place, so the whole idea of having a replacement and the whole idea of having him not compete gets the crowd into it. Then that night it’s announced that it’s still him, which makes perfect sense. The partner is actually announced as Steve Blackman but GTV pops up to show that Shane is ok.

Shane and the Posse try to get out of the arena but Shawn stops him and says go to the ring. We’ll ignore the fact that Shane has 25% of the company and could just fire Shawn and appoint one of the Posse to his spot and let Blackman do his thing but whatever. Shawn brings Shane to the ring and says it’s the original match, again living up to Russo’s name.

The set is really cool as it’s a bunch of ladders holding up a canopy of ladders. It really is awesome looking. Austin’s music sets off a freaking eruption. I don’t care what anyone says: Hogan was never this hot, period. Austin would be gone for neck surgery in about six months, taking a year off to FINALLY get fixed after Owen hurt him. The Corporation is barred from ringside in case you’re wondering.

Lawler brings up the obvious point that Austin is going to dominate every one on one match here so the McMahons need to double team him. I know it’s basic, but that’s what an analyst is supposed to do. This has been all Austin to the shock of no one. Shane has a McMahon 6:32 jersey on which is kind of clever. Shane hits a clothesline to finally change things a bit. We get a Home Improvement reference to really date the show a bit. We’re up at the entrance now and Shane climbs up into the display of ladders and Austin, ever the genius, follows him.

After knocking Shane back to the floor, he stops to throw up two fingers for the crowd. See what he did right there? He took about three seconds and got the crowd into it all over again. Any wrestling crowd will love nothing more than to be acknowledged. That is one of the few universal truths in wrestling. Look at guys like Rock, Austin, Hogan and Flair.

They’re four of the biggest names ever and every one of them gets the crowd involved in their promos and matches. Flair shouts at fans and says he’ll make women out of people’s mothers, Hogan does the hand to the ear, Austin flips them off, and Rock gets them chanting his name. They directly talk to the crowd rather than saying something about the crowd like mentioning a team, which isn’t directly at them.

See what I’m getting at here? The big stars are the ones that interact with the fans and it always works as it always will. Austin puts Vince through two of the ladders holding up the set which doesn’t fall, completely defying the laws of physics. In other words, the top of a ladder which is maybe two feet by six inches is holding up a ladder display that’s about 12 feet long.

They knock it out and the whole thing crashes down on Vince and Shane. That’s a great looking spot. Since they own the company though, they’re fine and catch Austin as he’s setting up the ladder. Who cares that they should be dead or severely injured? Austin goes airborne and puts Shane through the Spanish announce table which is one of the few classic bumps that will never die in my mind.

Vince knocks Austin onto the English table which doesn’t break at all. That has to be some kind of a joke. King’s microphone is broken. Ah he’s back. Austin now has a bad leg and stops Vince with a low blow. Austin is just beating the tar out of them now. Shane starts tapping out which is funny to me for some reason, which apparently means it’s good that he’s wearing black pants as Ross continues to just be freaking stupid.

Vince stops Austin from getting the case and the heat is great. The ladder is broken so they try to boost Shane up. Of course it doesn’t work and Austin is up. The look on his face more or less says chick are you crazy? Both guys get stunned. Ross says it’s in the book and you can see it coming.

Austin goes up and the briefcase goes up higher. This was another thing that went absolutely nowhere as the person that controlled it was never revealed. Vince gets his hands on it as Austin goes after everyone. Shane shoves both guys down and Shane goes up for the briefcase.

Austin, knowing he might get screwed, would announced tomorrow night that while still CEO he had booked a title shot the next night on Raw against Taker, which is still to this day the highest rated wrestling match in cable history, drawing an insane quarter hour of something like an 8.4.

Rating: C-. It’s ok, but that’s all. The screwjob ending was about as much of a given as you could ask for, yet somehow this might have been the best match all night since the tag match got less than five minutes. This was just a way to make you watch Raw the next night, which is what it’s designed to do I guess. They really should have had HHH in there acting for Vince and had the McMahons interfere instead so that the match would have been more solid. This just wasn’t that interesting as it was about 80% Austin which is exactly what was expected.

HHH would become the Big Bad of the WWF and Vince would get a WWF Title shot on Smackdown, September 16, 1999.

HHH vs. Vince McMahon

Say it with me: Shane is guest referee. Vince jumps HHH to start and the fight is on. McMahon is in a suit here and gets stomped down by the world champion himself. HHH easily punches Vince down and this is pure domination so far. Shane taunts his father but Vince comes back with a low blow. It’s not enough to stop HHH though and Vince gets stomped down even more.

With McMahon on the floor, the champion chokes away with a camera cord. Vince is beaten onto the announce table and Shane is begging with HHH to not beat on his father anymore. HHH drops an elbow off the barricade through Vince through the announce table. Back in and HHH grabs a chair, but Shane takes it away from him. That works for about two seconds as HHH shoves Shane down and hits Vince with the chair, busting him open.

Shane goes after HHH but Chyna makes it 2-1 and Shane is beaten down as well. A chair shot to his back keeps Shane down and here come Linda, Patterson and Brisco. The old men get beaten up and Chyna holds Linda while HHH punches Vince even more. HHH loads up the Pedigree but Austin comes in through the crowd to beat up the Game (HHH’s nickname). HHH and Chyna both get Stunners and Austin puts Vince on top of HHH for the pin and the title, blowing the roof off the crowd.

Rating: D. This was barely a match but it was entertaining enough. Having Vince as champion obviously wasn’t going to last but to call it a fun moment is an understatement. That being said, it really wasn’t all that smart of a moment as HHH had only won the title about three weeks earlier. That doesn’t exactly make a questionable champion look all that strong.

And another match at Armageddon 1999.

HHH vs. Vince McMahon

There are over 35 minutes to go when the music starts. That’s just not a good sign at all. Stephanie comes out first in a leather jacket and a pink top. She was ridiculously hot with straight hair. Sweet goodness that’s an awesome song. This is of course under hardcore rules. This is about the best HHH has ever been as a heel as he was having great matches and was as evil as you could ask him to be.

You really felt like he was the horrible man he was built up to be. That’s always a great sign. Wow it’s weird hearing that he’s 28 here. HHH runs at him with the hammer but Vince has powder. So what if it completely missed his face? Vince just throws punches, all of which sound painful as all goodness.

We get a joke from Ross saying they’re from Idaho. In case you don’t get that, the term for hitting someone harder than you should or legit is called potatoing them. I love how they just left the Spanish announce table in pieces like that. We’re in the crowd now and it’s all Vince.

They’re in the area just outside the arena and you can’t see anything. We’re back at ringside now and it’s basic stuff so far. And here’s Mankind with a shopping cart full of weapons. Ok then. The weapons of choice are a garbage can and lid. HHH gets knocked into the audience and wouldn’t you know it he lands in front of Stephanie. What a coincidence! She can’t act. That’s all there is to it.

Vince goes into the cart of weapons as someone is shouting in Spanish. I think it translates to GET US A NEW FREAKING TABLE! We’re up by the set now which is a military theme. HHH hits him in the head with a sandbag. Yeah it’s that kind of a match. SICK shopping cart shot to the head. I had a flashback to Supermarket Sweep there so this show rocks now. And yet Vince’s hair is still perfect. That’s very impressive. Vince gets slammed into a helicopter.

In a SICK spot, a machine gun on a pivot is swung around to slam into his head. Freaking OW. I can’t really criticize the lack of wrestling here as there’s only one wrestler in it. We’re in the back now with HHH dominating. Vince can’t find HHH. That sounds like a really boring game.

We’re outside now and Vince is just walking around looking for him. HHH tries to pull a Rikishi and run him over. For some reason the announcers sound surprised that HHH was driving. They fight on the car for a bit as Ross is of course freaking out. We fight on a limo now and Vince gets slammed on it.

Back in the arena and HHH climbs up a scaffold. This isn’t going to end well is it? Vince falls and while it’s ok it’s not great. Holy chant comes out of course. Finally we get some blood. My goodness we’re near the ring! HHH gets a mic and talks to Stephanie. This is rather amusing actually. Vince comes back like a Night of the Living Dead zombie.

WE GO BACK INTO THE RING!!! HHH raises a pipe over Vince’s head but stops to use a hammer. Good. I’m glad the hammer didn’t have to feel left out. That wouldn’t have been nice. HHH does Suck It to Stephanie. Nice imagery. A low blow saves Vince. Vince gets the hammer and has HHH in the corner and here’s Stephanie saying she wants to hit him.

Naturally Vince winds up getting it as Stephanie still can’t act. She’s still face here until they hug. Oh HHH got the pin. This was the start of the McMahon-Helmsley Era which dominated the storylines until the end of 2000. Crowd reacts to the hug. I have no clue how they’re reacting but they’re reacting. Seriously why is JR surprised about this? They’re the freaking McMahons. Dang she looks great here.

Rating: B-. All things considered, this was good. When I say that, you have to remember that Vince isn’t a wrestler so this more or less had to be a massive freaking brawl the entire time. Now when I say time, keep in mind this went HALF AN HOUR. This needed about ten minutes cut out to really be good as it just got repetitive at the end. Still though, this was solid brawling throughout and entertaining so I’ll give it that. Too long though.

King of the Ring 2000 would see a six man tag for the WWF Title.

WWF Title: HHH/Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. Rock/Kane/Undertaker

Yeah those sides are fair. Like mentioned earlier, if HHH or either McMahon is pinned, HHH loses the title to whoever gets the pin. If HHH’s team wins, HHH fights Angle. There’s no explanation of how this came about but HHH was feuding with Rock and Taker showed up to get at Vince and Shane was with Vince and Kane was just there for the sake of being there. All of the faces get their own entrances. Shane is a pussy apparently.

The pussy starts with Kane. And that’s more or less the high point. This match goes on nearly TWENTY MINUTES and I stopped caring after about two. It’s just filling in the time the whole way rather than anything actually of note going on. The faces keep fighting amongst themselves while the heels keep getting in a few shots here and there. One major problem here is that they never actually explain why Take hates Vince.

Now if you followed wrestling well enough around this time, it’s not that hard to figure out, but dang man, give us something at least. The match just goes on and on and it’s boring as any and all goodness. We get that the faces don’t get along. You don’t need to remind us a dozen times per minute. Everyone beats on everyone as we’re in the orgy mode here. Nothing of note happens as it’s all just one big mess as everyone beats on everyone with no particular rhyme or reason.

FINALLY we get to the point as most everyone goes outside and given the amount of time left we know that someone is going to get a pinfalll soon and end this. Since Vince is alone in the ring, I’m willing to bet that it’s him. And yep, there’s a Rock Bottom and a new champion to celebrate. And yep that’s all there is.

Rating: D-. Oy thank goodness this is over. No one cared about the thing but since we had seen Rock vs. HHH a half dozen times they needed to shift things, and since there’s some law against Kane getting a title shot on PPV, this is what we got instead. It was a weird idea and seriously, did anyone thing there wouldn’t be a new champion? I’m just glad this is over.

Vince would hook up with Trish Stratus because….well look at her. Here’s one of the resulting matches from Raw on February 26, 2001.

Vince McMahon/Trish Stratus vs. William Regal/Stephanie McMahon

Vince brings out that bucket of sewage. Apparently Stephanie shoved Trish into manure on Smackdown. Trish kisses Vince to start and the girls go at it first. All Trish to start as I guess Stephanie and Regal are the faces here. Steph gets a suplex for two. They had the best match you could ever imagine they would have the previous night. DDT gets two for Stephanie.

They botch….something as Stephanie goes down. It looked like a clothesline I think but I’m not sure. Vince comes in and Steph has no idea of it. Regal backs off to huge boos. Vince gets a mic and Regal brings in the bucket. He says that what Vince wants, Vince gets. He tells Trish to get in here and tells the referee that this match is over.

Stephanie and Vince are apparently all cool and Regal takes Trish down with a neckbreaker. With Vince’s direction, Stephanie covers her with the mop in the sewage and shoves her face in the bucket. Vince says that there’s one Daddy’s Little Girl and Trish was just a toy, a toy Vince is tired of playing with. Trish would be back with Vince like next week. This was barely a match so no rating.

Another Vince vs. Shane match from Wrestlemania X7.

Vince McMahon vs. Shane McMahon

This is a street fight of course with Mick Foley as guest referee. Shane has some WCW “stars” in a private box. You can see Shawn Stasiak, Stacy Keibler and I think Bobby Eaton up there. Stephanie is here with Vince but Trish and Linda are being saved for later. Vince slaps Shane and we’re ready to go in a hurry. Shane gets pounded down in the corner but comes back with a spear and a bunch of elbow drops.

Stephanie gets in the ring and slaps Shane in the face, causing a chase sequence. Shane stops to hit Vince in the head with a sign before beating him over an over in the back. A clothesline off the barricade puts Vince down again before Shane whips him into the barricade. Shane blasts him in the back with a kendo stick over and over before peppering him with left jabs and a big right cross. Other than the brief flurry to start this is all Shane.

A monitor shot to Vince’s head knocks him out so Shane can put him on the announce table. For the big spot of the match, Shane loads up the top rope elbow through the table but Stephanie pulls Vince away, sending Shane crashing through the table. Here come Trish and Linda with Linda completely sedated. Vince wakes up and sees them there so Trish helps him to his feet, with an AMAZING cleavage shot.

Trish surprises everyone by slapping Vince, turning face in the process. Stephanie goes after Trish, triggering a catfight in the ring. Mick pulls Stephanie off of Trish, only to get slapped in the face for his efforts. Stephanie runs from Trish and does the worst looking fall in the history of bad looking falls to let Trish catch up before leaving the arena. Back at ringside Vince wakes up and calls his wife a very bad name but Foley stops any potential domestic violence. Vince is fine with that and blasts Mick in the back with a chair.

The oldest McMahon puts Linda into the ring as Shane is still out cold. Linda is sat in the corner of the ring in a chair as Vince throws Shane back into the ring. Now it’s time for four garbage cans to be thrown in as well so Shane can get beaten up yet again. Vince picks up the third can but as he takes too long, Linda stands up to an ERUPTION from the crowd. She kicks Vince between the legs to stun him, allowing Foley to come in and beat the tar out of the owner of the company. Mick knocks Vince down in the corner and Shane hits the Coast to Coast dropkick, sending a garbage can into Vince’s face for the academic pin.

Rating: B. All things considered, this was excellent. This is what you call intricate storytelling with at least five feuds/stories (Vince vs. Shane, Vince vs. Mick, Vince vs. Linda, Stephanie vs. Linda, Trish’s turn) being blown off in one single match. On top of that, the match wasn’t that bad with some decent bumps considering that they’re both non-wrestlers. The drama was the key here though and it worked REALLY well.

We’ll jump ahead to Royal Rumble 2002 for another street fight.

Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon

Remember this is a street fight. Vince shoves him down to start and struts, so Flair punches him down and struts as well. Flair wins a chop battle in the corner (duh) so Vince goes to the eyes to escape. There’s the Flair Flop followed by a Flair Flip in the corner as Vince is in full control. We head to the floor and get our first weapon shot, with Vince pounding on Ric with a metal Keep Off sign.

There’s a trashcan shot to the head and Flair is busted open. How thin must the skin on his forehead be? Anyway, Vince steals a camera from someone to take a picture of Flair’s cut before we head back inside. Since he’s a jerk, Vince starts working over the knee in (less skilled) Flair fashion. The leg is wrapped around the post and Vince puts on a Figure Four that Dusty Rhodes would be jealous of.

Flair turns the hold over and Vince IMMEDIATELY lets go of the hold. So not only is he better at it than some wrestlers, he’s also smart. Never let it be said that Vince doesn’t know what he’s doing. Vince bails to the floor and grabs a lead pipe that he used to bust Flair open in the build up to the match. Flair catches him coming in with a low blow and pounds away on the floor.

Vince takes a monitor shot to the head and in a weird spot, we see a replay on the monitor on the table as the live match goes on. Vince is busted open now and we head back inside. Scratch that as we go back outside immediately where Flair’s family takes pictures of Vince’s cut. Set it up earlier, pay it off later. Good move. Back in and Flair kicks him low again just because he can, cracks him in the head with the pipe and ends it with the Figure Four.

Rating: C+. At the end of the day, this match makes as much sense as almost anything you’ll see. Vince controlled at the beginning, but at the end of the day he’s a boss and Flair is a veteran wrestler and athlete. It makes sense for him to be able to shrug that off and destroy Vince with relative ease once he got the upper hand. On top of that we got some good blood and Vince getting hit in the balls so how can this not be entertaining?

Hey look: a street fight. From Wrestlemania XIX.

Hulk Hogan vs. Vince McMahon

This is a street fight because that’s how Vince rolls and if Hogan loses he has to retire. Hogan pounds away to start before pounding away on the mat. Vince is knocked down into the corner and stomped down for good measure but he gets in a thumb to the eye to give himself a breather. A clothesline takes Hogan down and Vince Pounds away in the corner. He drops some knees into Hogan’s shoulder as we actually get an attempt at psychology here. Seriously, why?

Vince wraps the arm around the post before hooking a test of strength grip with Hulk in trouble. Hogan tries to fight up but gets kicked right back down. That works so well that they do it again before Vince throws Hogan out to the floor. With Hogan in trouble Vince picks up a chair but the swing only hits post. Hogan pounds him down and hits a chair shot to Vince’s head for good measure, busting Vince open.

They head back in, only for Hogan to punch him out to the floor. Another chair shot to the back puts Vince down as does a third. Hogan swings again but knocks out the Spanish announcer by mistake. Vince hits Hogan in his Real American testicles as the slow brawling continues. A chair shot puts Hogan down and Vince pulls out a ladder, making me think this ends badly.

Hulk is busted open too as Vince lays him onto the announce table. In the big spot of the match, Vince climbs the ladder and drops a “leg” through Hogan and through the table. Hogan is thrown back in as Vince gets a lead pipe. He looks up from under the ring apron and has a hilariously evil grin on his face. Vince loads up a pipe shot but Hogan hits him low. Cue RODDY PIPER of all people to blast Hogan in the head with the pipe. This surprises Cole and Tazz because….they’re not that bright. Seriously, Piper and Hogan HATED each other and they’re surprised he attacked Hogan? Why?

Piper leaves and Vince gets two off the pipe shot. This match needs to end like NOW as it’s well past the point of entertaining and is reaching stupid. Vince goes for the pipe but is stopped by the referee, causing the referee to go flying out to the floor. The EVIL French referee from earlier today comes out as Hulk is hit with another pipe shot and a Vince legdrop for two. It’s Hulk Up time though and he lays out both Vince and the crooked referee before hitting the big boot and THREE legdrops to kill Vince dead for the pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t the worst match in the world but going twenty minutes completely misses the idea of something like this. Again I’m not sure what this accomplishes other than setting up Hogan vs. Piper in a feud that didn’t exactly light the world on fire in 2013. Fun but pretty awful match here.

We’ll stay in 2003 with this match from Vengeance.

Vince McMahon vs. Zach Gowen

For the life of me I have never gotten the point of this angle at all. At least Gowen had a good Seether song for his theme music. Vince dominates early on to the shock of no one. Gowen busted out an Asai Moonsault. His character and angle was annoying as all goodness but to say it’s impressive is an understatement. One of the interesting things here is that Zach is like 150lbs so it’s like wrestling a woman as far as the weight goes.

Vince beats the tar out of him for a long time including a Boston Crab. Again, I don’t get the point to this but it’s Vince in the ring so what do you expect? Gowen makes his comeback and very few people care. Zach goes up top and hits a bulldog. When I say hit I mean miss and when I say bulldog I mean his arm almost touches the back of Vince’s head.

This just isn’t as impressive as it could be, but we get it: he can wrestle on one leg. He doesn’t need 15 minutes to prove it. We get a chair and Vince gets beaten with it and bleeds. Oh dang he’s bleeding a lot. Gowen misses a moonsault and Vince pins him. Yeah seriously that’s the ending. Gowen stands in the ring and gets cheered. Mostly at least but there’s a good deal of booing in there.

Rating: C-. The problem here became evident very quickly: yes, we know he can wrestle on one leg, but after that the appeal goes away and it gets stupid. It’s cool to see, but it gets old fast. If this is cut in half time wise, it’s FAR better and one of the coolest matches ever. It’s still cool and impressive as all goodness, but this went on too long. Decent match though but the ending sucked.

And another from No Mercy 2003.

Vince McMahon vs. Stephanie McMahon

I Quit match and Stephanie can win by pin as well. It’s also no holds barred and no one can interfere on her behalf. Linda is here too to make sure this match is acted even worse. Sable is with Vince. Vince jumps Stephanie to start. He’s evil you know. Stephanie jumps on his back and screams a lot. She kicks him into the corner so he runs her over. Vince throws her around and Cole is up to about 20 “THAT’S HIS DAUGHTER” lines a minute.

Sable slaps Stephanie so Linda chases her around. Vince hooks a half crab and Stephanie screams a lot. Off to a bow and arrow and Stephanie can’t even sell her face properly. Sable slides in a pipe but Linda stops her. Vince grabs Linda so she slaps him and Steph hits Vince low with the pipe for two. She pulls the pipe back and hits him in the ribs and the back and in the face but Vince doesn’t go down. A shot from the middle rope to the top of the head gets two.

This match has been going on about four minutes and I already hate it. Sable gets in a fight with Stephanie so Stephanie rams Vince into her and bulldogs him for two. She gets the pipe again but Vince grabs her by the throat and shoves her down. Now Vince has the pipe and hits her in the ribs. He chokes her with the pipe and Linda shouts to quit because it’s not worth it. Linda throws in the towel because Stephanie can’t give up. You know, to protect her reputation and all that.

Rating: F. This got more of a build than the world title match, the US Title match and the Angle vs. Cena match. You figure out why this was a failure.

And one more from this year at Survivor Series 2003.

Undertaker vs. Vince McMahon

Taz actually has keys to victory. First: be mentally stable. Second: be confident. Third: AVOID THE HOLE! Did Taz just make me laugh? I don’t know how to handle this. Oh good we have the bell so I don’t have to deal with it. Remember that in this you have to put the other guy in the grave and cover him with dirt to bury him alive. Apparently it’s thirteen years to the day since Taker debuted. Vince kneels in prayer before the match starts.

Taker punches him in the face, drawing blood off a SINGLE PUNCH. He pounds away on Vince as McMahon is just trying to get back up. Vince gets crotched against the post and Taker wraps the leg around the post for fun. The same thing happens on the opposite post and Vince is sent into the announce table. There is blood EVERYWHERE. Taker hits him and says this is for my wife. Yeah this was around the time when Vince said he was going to have someone rape Taker’s wife. You know, because there’s nothing wrong with that.

The beating continues for awhile and Vince hasn’t had a single bit of offense in yet. Vince gets punched up against the barricade and we head back inside. Taker heads to the grave site and gets a shovel which is CRACKED off Vince’s head. This is quite a beating. Taker crushes Vince’s ankle just like he did in 1998. There are PILES of blood on the floor. Taker carries him to the grave but Vince gets in a low blow to FINALLY slow Taker down.

Vince hits him with a shovel and taker falls into the grave. Taker shrugs it off and pulls McMahon down into the hole, but as he goes for the machine to lower the dirt, an explosion goes off. Kane is in the cab and helps Vince out of the grave. Taker is knocked into the grave and Vince lowers the dirt onto Taker to get the shocking win.

Rating: D. This was REALLY boring although that first shovel shot was great. Other than that though, there wasn’t enough here to make this match matter. This would be the last time Biker Taker was seen as he would return as the Dead Man at Wrestlemania to, say it with me, feud with Kane. The blood alone prevents this from being a failure.

I have to do this one. From Raw on February 23, 2004.

Eric Bischoff vs. Vince McMahon

Austin is guest referee. They stare each other down to start and Bischoff offers a handshake, only to get kneed in the ribs. Bischoff comes back with some strikes but Austin breaks it up. Vince makes the mistake of going after Austin and gets decked for old times’ sake. Bischoff gets chased around the ring and choked on the floor as JR drops the bowling shoe line. Brock Lesnar sneaks into the ring and lays out Austin as the match is thrown out. No rating and much more of an historical curiosity than anything else.

We’ll jump ahead to Wrestlemania XXII.

Vince McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels

Oh wait actually this is no holds barred rather than a street fight because they’re such different things. Before the match Vince unveils a poster version of his cover of Muscle and Fitness magazine, which is indeed pretty impressive. Shawn will have none of this though and goes after the boss, pounding away at him and throwing him over the announce table for good measure. Vince gets choked out with a cable as the commentators lose their equipment.

Shawn cracks Vince over the head with his poster and here’s the Spirit Squad to try to save Vince. They’re five cheerleaders (one of them being Dolph Ziggler) who beat up Shawn with their five man lifting slam, but Kenny misses a guillotine legdrop. Shawn gets their megaphone and beats all of them up while Vince is getting a breather. The breather allows Vince to get in a clothesline and take over for a bit.

McMahon rips off his own belt to whip and choke Shawn but his attempt at Sweet Chin Music is easily blocked. The forearm puts Vince down and there’s a whipping for Vince. There’s the top rope elbow but as Shawn tunes up the band, here’s Shane to blast him with a kendo stick. Shane pulls out handcuffs but before they tie Shawn up, Vince takes down his pants. Yeah they’re doing this at Wrestlemania. Shane tries to send Shawn’s face in but Michaels reverses and we get a very disturbing father/son bonding moment.

Shawn hits Vince low and handcuffs Shane to the ropes. After throwing the key into the crowd and doing Shane’s dance, Shawn pounds him with the kendo stick and pulls out a chair. A BIG chair shot cracks Vince’s head open even more than it already was. Instead of kicking Vince’s head off though, Shawn pulls out a ladder. After ramming that into Vince’s head too, Shawn pulls out some trashcans to beat on Vince with as well.

There’s a table thrown in too and this can’t end well. Vince is placed on the table but Shawn isn’t pleased with the ladder he’s got. Instead he gets the jumbo ladder and puts the trashcan over Vince’s head. Shawn climbs the jumbo ladder and drops the BIGGEST ELBOW EVER through Vince through the table. The Sweet Chin Music is the icing on the carnage and it’s finally over.

Rating: C+. This is a hard one to grade as it’s really closer to a long segment than a match. Shawn DESTROYED Vince here and that’s what the whole thing was supposed to be. Unfortunately this feud would keep going for about six more months with DX reuniting to fight Vince and all his cronies. Still though, it was certainly entertaining and that’s all it was supposed to be.

And the rematch at Backlash 2006.

Shawn Michaels/God vs. Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon

Vince introduces God and we get a spotlight. His tron video is clouds and he comes out to harp and piano music. Vince stops and criticizes God before challenging him to a dance contest. I kid you not, this is really happening. The spotlights gets in the ring and Vince tells the referee to check him out. Vince makes the match no holds barred because the idea of Vince wrestling an actual match isn’t pleasing. Sexy Boy finally hits to end this stupidity.

Vince starts to run his mouth some more and Shawn finally drills him to get going. The daddy goes to the floor while Shawn beats up Shane. Shawn dives on Vince before clotheslining Shane to the floor and hitting a flip dive to take him out. Michaels chops Shane up the ramp but Shane comes back with knees to the stomach. Shane tries to piledrive Shawn off the stage but gets backdropped instead.

Shawn comes back but here’s Vince with a chair as they’re all on the stage now. Shawn blocks the shot and takes Shane down again before hitting a cross body on Vince off the stage. This looked like nothing live but it looked good on camera. Shawn climbs back up to the stage but gets hit in the face with the chair by Shane. Michaels is busted which I never noticed in the arena.

Shane and Shawn head back to the ring and Shawn goes into the post. Shawn gets sent into the barricade and then back into the ring as Shane is in complete control. The top rope elbow misses and both guys are down. Vince is on the apron now and apparently they have to tag. Shane DDTs Shawn down and it’s off to Vince. Vince takes his belt off and whips Shawn’s back because he’s that evil. Shane throws in a garbage can and Shawn gets his head caved in.

Vince wants a mic and taunts God a bit. God walks out and Vince says come back. Vince declares that God has left the building, but Shawn hasn’t. He stands Shawn up and tries a superkick but the kick gets caught. Shawn makes his comeback and hits the forearm and nip-up. Shane misses a chair shot and caves in Vince’s head by mistake. It’s a forearm for Shane followed by an atomic drop and some clotheslines. Shawn’s top rope elbow hits and both McMahons taste superkicks.

Shawn, ever the genius, doesn’t go for a cover but rather goes to the floor for a table. Make that two tables. My fellow Lexingtonians (yes that’s what they’re called) want ladders because much like other wrestling fans, they’re greedy people. Both McMahons are put on tables and here comes the ladder. It’s the jumbo sized ladder too. Shawn climbs up but has to dive on the invading Spirit Squad. That was incredible live but the camera didn’t get a great shot of it. The main problem was you didn’t see them until the dive so Shawn looked crazy.

The numbers catch up with Shawn and he gets beaten down by the five male cheerleaders who are currently tag team champions at this point. They throw Shawn back in and get the McMahons off the tables. The Squad takes Shawn into the ring and hit their finisher on him, which is them all picking him up at once and dropping him through a table. Vince gets the pin. JR calls this BS but the uncensored version.

Rating: D. The match was boring, but JR put it best during the match: this was uncomfortable. On top of that, the whole thing was stupid. This would set up a feud that ran for the whole year which didn’t work all that well either. It did lead to the reformation of DX which was pretty interesting, but dang this first part was torture to sit through. Not a horrible match but dang this was a chore to sit through.

And another rematch from Summerslam 2006.

D-Generation X vs. Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon

Vince and Shane head back to the entrance and send out the Spirit Squad as the first line of defense. Superkicks, backdrops and Pedigrees abound, getting rid of the Raw Tag Champions (the cheerleaders) in less than fifteen seconds. DX beat the Spirit Squad about five times in this whole thing but never won the tag titles. I never quite got why.

Next up are Kennedy, Finlay and Regal who do a bit better thanks to Finlay’s club but only last about 40 seconds. Now it’s Big Show to really challenge DX. Why all nine guys didn’t come out at once is never really addressed. The three midcarders take down HHH on the floor, leaving Shawn alone with Show. A cobra clutch backbreaker and the Log Roll knock Shawn silly as HHH is destroyed. Now the McMahons come to the ring and there’s the opening bell.

Vince slams Shawn down to start and it’s off to Shane for some dancing. He peppers Shawn with left jabs and hits a big right cross to puts him down. HHH is still down from a chokeslam through the announce table. Vince comes back in for something like a clothesline to the ribs and fires off elbows in the corner. A double back elbow puts Shawn down and HHH is finally remembering what planet he’s on. Shane of course slides to the floor to knock him down again, which is pretty smart.

Shane hits a backbreaker on Michaels and it’s back to Papa McMahon. There’s a double elbow but HHH is on his feet. Shane, again, wisely baseball slides him onto the other announce table. The McMahons bust out the Demolition Decapitation and the Hart Attack of all things, complete with signature Bret pose. They even hit a bad looking Doomsday Device but Shawn pops up at two and fires off right hands. Vince sneaks in with a shot to the back and down goes HBK again. Shawn scores with a double clothesline and everyone is down.

HHH is back up on the apron and actually takes the hot tag. Adrenaline kicks in and house is cleaned with a high knee and a neckbreaker to Shane. Clotheslines take both McMahons down and there’s a spinebuster for the young one. Shawn drops the elbow on Vince and hits a Cactus Clothesline to take Shane out.

Here’s Umaga to superkick Shawn and hit a quick Samoan Spike to HHH. This brings out Kane as the guy DX was talking to so he can fight Umaga to the back. Shane can only get two on the Game so Vince punches the referee. Shane loads up a Coast to Coast but Shawn superkicks him out of the air. A trashcan shot to Vince sets up Sweet Chin Music and the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: B-. That’s about as high as they can get and there’s nothing wrong with that. The booking was as smart as you could get since there might not be two guys in the company that could be a legitimate threat to DX in a straight match so making it eleven on two to start was all they could do. The rest of the match is your usual tag team formula match and that’s all they could do here. The fans popped for the ending too so I can’t complain much.

Time for another feud, this time with fallout from Wrestlemania XXIII. From Backlash 2007.

ECW Title: Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon/Umaga vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley is champion and whoever gets the fall is champion. Shane starts us out and is promptly destroyed. Lashley throws him around and suplexes him down before throwing him to the floor. Bobby wants Vince but Shane staggers back in instead. Off to Umaga who is sent into the corner but Lashley charges into a boot to the face. Well foot tape to the face but you get the idea.

Bobby sends him into the corner again and hits some clotheslines including a big one to send him over the top rope and out to the floor. Down goes Shane so there’s only Vince left on the apron. Instead Shane gets back in and takes a delayed vertical suplex. Umaga tries a headbutt but it hits the Boy Wonder by mistake. Shane finally does something effective by pulling the top rope down to send Bobby out to the floor.

Umaga sends Lashley into the steps as we continue the filler until Vince comes in. Lashley is in trouble but Vince still doesn’t want the tag. Shane puts on a Fujiwara Armbar followed by a hammerlock with knees. Off to a cross armbreaker/triangle choke hybrid which Lashley can’t quite power out of. Scratch that as he hits a kind of powerbomb for two. Back to the Samoan for a headbutt followed by a bearhug.

Bobby escapes for a second but gets caught in a Samoan Drop to put him down again. Shane hooks a camel clutch for longer than should be humanly possible to survive. Lashley gets out of that too with pure power and hits a Torture Rack backbreaker (Shock Treatment ala Abyss) to Shane. Umaga gets speared and it’s a Dominator to Shane but Vince finally comes in for the save. In the confusion Shane gets a belt shot in for two from Vince. Vince is ticked off now and brings in Umaga for a top rope splash. That gets two for Vince as well so Umaga does the exact same thing again to give Vince the title.

Rating: C. This was fine I guess but it would start a huge ordeal with ECW fans saying that Vince was killing the legacy of ECW. You know, because it was SO healthy after guys like Big Show was champion and we got a single ECW Rules match a week if we were lucky and guys like Matt Striker and Elijah Burke and Mike Knox and Test were featured on the show every week. Lashley would get the title back in a month or so before the title fell into the midcard level it would stay at until it was axed.

A match that I still defend, from Wrestlemania XXVI.

Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon

Vince says he’s bought a lot of lumberjacks: the Hart Family (including the Hart Dynasty), with the idea being that they all hate Bret just like Vince does. Also Bruce Hart, Bret’s brother, is guest referee. Bret asks his family if they all agreed to this and says they must have all gotten paid up front. If there’s one thing he’s learned from Montreal, it’s that there’s nothing sweeter than a good double cross. Tonight, the Harts are united because they came to Bret and agreed to sucker Vince in.

Bret pounds away to start and stomps away in the corner before sending Vince out to the lumberjacks for a beating. Natalya hits a HARD slap (Striker: “Best of luck in your future endeavors.”) and the beating is on. The Hart Dynasty hits a Hart Attack to the floor as Bret looks on approvingly. Back in and Bret goes after the leg which knocks Vince back to the floor. He finds a wrench or something from somewhere which sends the Harts away.

Back in and Bret knocks it away from McMahon before picking up the pipe. Seven shots with that look to set up the Sharpshooter but instead Bret hits him with the pipe a few more times. There’s a hard kick to the balls and a few more for good measure. Natalya: “MAKE EM BLEED!” A chair is sent in and Bret takes a seat. Vince slowly gets up so Bret hits him with the chair EIGHTEEN TIMES and it’s the Sharpshooter for the submission.

Rating: A+. I said that when I first did this and I say it here. Now while I shouldn’t have to explain this, I will anyway because a lot of people are slow. Am I saying it was a match on the level of say Shawn vs. Razor? Of course not. I’m saying it’s the perfect match for what it was supposed to be. This was Bret DESTROYING Vince for a long time and doing it as well as he could given his condition. If you thought it was going to be anything but that and Vince tapping to the Sharpshooter, you completely missed the point of this match.

We’ll wrap it up with Vince’s last match to date which shocked everyone. Raw, October 8, 2012 and it’s not really a match but it’s close enough.

Vince McMahon vs. CM Punk

Vince comes out for the match but Punk jumps him on the way to the ring and beats the tar out of him before the bell. Vince spears him down but Punk beats him in the head. The high kick puts Vince down and I don’t think the bell every rang. They head to the floor and Punk puts on a headset. “WHAT A MANUEVER!!!” I laughed out loud.

Vince sends Punk into the post after escaping the GTS. He sends Punk FLYING over the announce table and grabs a mic. Vince DIVES OVER THE TABLE and beats up Punk! He rams a chair into Punk’s crotch and we head back inside. Vince is bleeding from the eye but he grabs a kendo stick. I think Vince’s ear is bleeding also. Punk bails and tells Heyman to bring the title, but Vince stops him and lays out Heyman with a shot to the head. Vince gets the title and stands in the ring with it and the kendo stick, challenging Punk to come fight him.

Punk finds a kendo stick and gets in. They BEAT THE TAR OUT OF EACH OTHER with the sticks and Vince knocks the stick out of Punk’s hands, sending Punk to his knees to beg. Punk hits Vince low and beats on him with the sticks. He loads up the GTS but FEED ME MORE hits and the fans LOSE IT.

Punk runs but Cena comes out and sends Punk back in. Ryback kills Punk with the clothesline but Punk escapes Shell Shock. Punk bails and Vince gets the mic. He says it’s either Punk vs. Ryback or Punk vs. Cena in the Cell. If Punk doesn’t decide, Vince makes up his mind for him. Punk is TERRIFIED to end the show. This wasn’t a match but man it ROCKED.

He’s one of the best villains of all time and will still do whatever he needs to do on camera. His matches weren’t any good but it was all about the build instead of the matches anyway. To be fair, the matches weren’t the worst in the world and considering that it’s the boss out there, all can be forgiven. He’s hard not to like at least a bit despite being totally evil.

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Today is maybe my favorite ECW wrestler: Tajiri.

Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. El Gran Apache

They shake hands to start and we’re ready to go. Apache takes him down to the mat and does a headstand to escape a wristlock. They stay on the mat with Apache holding him in a leg lock. Armdrags don’t get Tajiri anywhere as he keeps getting thrown down. Instead a kick puts Apache down but he chops the skin off Tajiri’s chest. Tajiri goes to the corner for a wrist drag, only to get hiptossed back down.

Apache is just outclassing Tajiri right now. Both guys nip up and it’s Tajiri cranking on a headlock. Gran reverses into a headscissors before they speed things up again with Apache nailing a high cross body. Tajiri is sent outside and gets taken down by a big plancha. Back in and Tajiri escapes another armbar and nails a dropkick for two.

Apache easily fights out of a chinlock and hits a backsplash before punching Tajiri down in the corner. A suplex gets two for Gran but Tajiri comes back with some running dropkicks in the corner. Apache avoids a moonsault and grabs a bad looking reverse sunset flip (as in he starts like you usually would but falls back instead of going forward) for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was better than I was expecting and it worked really well. The problem here is Tajiri hasn’t figured out a character yet so he was just a guy in trunks doing what he could. Apache is a veteran who had forgotten more than Tajiri had ever learned at this point so it wasn’t much of a contest. Tajiri was trying though.

Tajiri would get a one off appearance in the WWF on Raw, April 22, 1996.

Godwinns vs. Tajiri/Ken Patterson

Tajiri, who looks to be about a foot and a half shorter, starts with Phineas. A cross body doesn’t work but Phineas misses an elbow drop. Henry and Patterson come in and here comes Sunny with the Tag Team Titles. Hillbilly Jim runs her off with his hound dog as Henry slams Patterson. Back to Phineas for some headbutts before Henry ends Ken with a Slop Drop.

Rating: D. This was a preview for Sunday’s title match when the Godwinns would challenge the Body Donnas. The match was nothing more than a squash with an angle involved, which isn’t the most interesting thing in the world. However it’s what Raw consisted of back in the day so you had to get used to it.

Back to Japan for the January 4, 1997 NJPW Dome Show.

Shinjiro Otani vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri

Tajiri pulls his hand back on a handshake before kicking Otani in the face to start. More kicks in the corner have Otani in trouble and Tajiri stays on the arm. A German suplex gets two on Otani and Shinjiro is reeling. He comes back out of nowhere with a dropkick to the knee and Otani has a target. We hit a leg lock for a good bit until Tajiri crawls over to the ropes. Otani takes him into the corner for a facewash, followed by a spinning kick to the face.

They slap it out and both guys go down in a sudden fall. Otani is up first but misses a missile dropkick and gets caught in a German suplex for two. Tajiri throws him outside and nails an Asai moonsault to put both guys down. They head back inside and Otani counters a kick into a quickly broken ankle lock.

Tajiri rolls him around in a sunset flip for two and hooks a top rope hurricanrana for the same. A second hurricanrana is countered with a powerbomb, followed by a sitout powerbomb from Otani. He lets Tajiri up though and hits a springboard spinwheel kick (the same kind of kick that Tajiri hit him with at the beginning) for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was good stuff with both guys nailing each other. The fact that I have no idea what was going on here but I could figure out what kind of story they were telling is a very impressive thing. Tajiri disrespected the bigger star in Otani and the veteran wasn’t going to stand for it. Good stuff.

It’s off to ECW at this point with Tajiri starting around Guilty As Charged 1999.

Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Super Crazy

Both guys are new to the company. These two fought roughly 90,000 times and this is one of the first. Super Crazy is a high flying luchador and Tajiri is a hard striking wrestler from Japan. He’s clean shaven here but would eventually grow a beard and become one of ECW’s better workers. This is the kind of a match that ECW needed to fill out their pay per view cards and have exciting, non-hardcore matches. Feeling out process to start and Crazy won’t throw a closed fist. We get a very fast paced sequence with both guys taking the other to the mat for arm trap cradles for two each.

A tornado DDT drops Tajiri but he comes back with some very hard kicks to the head to take over. Back up and they trade chops to the chest before Tajiri kicks the knee out. Off to a leg bar on Crazy but he gets to the ropes and bails to the floor. That’s fine with Tajiri who nails a HUGE Asai moonsault. They fight to the apron and Tajiri hooks the Tarantula (a Boston crab over the ropes) but as always it doesn’t last long.

Crazy comes back with a springboard missile dropkick to send Tajiri to the floor followed by a HUGE flip dive to keep Crazy in control. A moonsault off the barricade crushes Tajiri before sending him back inside for a surfboard. Crazy keeps the hold on and bends Tajiri back into a dragon sleeper with the legs still bent back for a PAINFUL looking hold. Back up and Tajiri dropkicks the knee out and hits a huge dive to the floor (with Crazy nice enough to stand there with his arms open so Tajiri could hit him).

Tajiri slowly gets up first and kicks Crazy in the head. Back inside and a spinwheel kick to the face gets two for Tajiri but he comes back with a majistral cradle for two but Tajiri comes back with one of his own for the same. Crazy flips out of a German suplex attempt and hits a moonsault press for two. Tajiri heads outside again and another dive takes him down. Back in and a missile dropkick puts Tajiri down but he rolls through a tornado DDT.

Tajiri gets caught in a reverse tornado DDT but is able to counter a powerbomb into a DDT of his own. Tajiri blocks a moonsault by raising his boots before nailing a sunset bomb for two. Back up and Crazy hits a sitout powerbomb for another two so Tajiri does the same to him. As Crazy is kicking out though, Tajiri keeps his legs around Crazy’s arms and rolls him around the ring. They slug it out until Tajiri hooks a dragon suplex (full nelson suplex) for the pin.

Rating: B+. Yes it was a spot fest, but here’s the difference between this and the other spot fests that I’ve complained about so far: this was all them. There wasn’t a table and chair being brought in every five minutes and there weren’t a bunch of spots that had almost no effect at all. It was two guys doing whatever they could think of with just their bodies and the ring (plus the occasional barricade) to beat each other. Also it was only about twelve minutes instead of double that, meaning it didn’t overstay its welcome. This was very entertaining stuff and the best match ECW has had in awhile.

Another match from Hardcore Heaven 1999.

Little Guido vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri

Guido comes to the ring sitting on Big Sal’s shoulders. Tajiri spits at Big Sal in some rare emotion before the bell. He’s back to hailing from Yokohoma, Japan. The now serious Guido catches an incoming kick and takes Tajiri to the mat for some ground and pound. He works on the leg but gets flipped over, allowing Tajiri to fire off kicks to the head. Guido comes back with some stomping in the corner and puts on a Fujiwara armbar.

A missile dropkick sends Tajiri out to the floor but he sidesteps a dive over the ropes. Tajiri dives onto the Italians and takes Guido down but Sal only loses his sunglasses. Back in and Guido loses half of his trunks when Tajiri grabs a sunset flip. The Tarantula has Guido in agony but Sal makes a save. Guido tries a headscissors but gets sent to the ramp. He comes back with a slingshot legdrop to drive Tajiri’s head onto the ramp, good for two back inside.

Back in and Tajiri gets caught in another Fujiwara armbar but lets it go and distracts the referee so Big Sal can powerslam Tajiri. We hit a keylock (arm hold) on Tajiri but he breaks it up with a low blow. Guido wins a chop off and gets two off a legdrop. A powerbomb gets the same but Tajiri counters the Boston crab. Dropkicks to the knees put Guido down but Tajiri can’t hook the dragon suplex. Instead he bends Guido over his back and spins him around before slapping the taste out of Guido’s mouth. Tajiri puts him in the Tree of Woe for a baseball slide before a kick to the head and brainbuster put Guido away.

Rating: C+. Tajiri got to show some personality this time and he was more interesting as a result. This was a solid match and again, it was different from the stuff that Tajiri and Crazy had been doing. It’s a good sign for the future as these guys are getting more and more developed every time they’re out there. Solid match.

Tajiri would turn heel around this time and get a World Title shot at Heat Wave 1999.

ECW World Title: Taz vs. Tajiri

Taz kicks Tajiri in the head as security comes to help Francine to the back. Tajiri comes back with the handspring elbow and a spinwheel kick sends Taz outside. A huge Asai moonsault over the top rope takes Taz down again. Back in and Taz counters the Tarantula with a whip spinebuster. Tajiri tries a sleeper but gets taken down in a belly to back Tazplex. There’s a head and arms Tazplex for good measure, drawing a shot at Perry Saturn at the same time.

Tajiri comes back with a hard kick to Taz’s weak neck but takes too much time going up, allowing Taz to super Tazplex him down. The hard kicks to the head stagger Taz and a low dropkick to the head gets a near fall. Some hard chops in the corner have Taz in more trouble but he shoves Tajiri off the top and onto Rhino on the ramp. Victory gets shoved down the ramp but pops to his feet, so Taz throws the wheelchair at his face.

Tajiri nails a superkick but runs into a sitout powerbomb on the ramp. Rhino has set up a table on the ramp against the ropes as Taz dares Tajiri to kick him. It’s a trap though as Taz catches a kick coming in and Tazplexes him through the table. Taz chases Corino to the back but Taz comes back with what looks like barbed wire. Joey says go to a wide shot so we can’t really see what Taz is doing. He strangles Tajiri with whatever he brought out and puts on the Tazmission until referees come out and ring the bell. Tajiri apparently tapped out on the ramp which is just as good as in the ring I suppose.

Rating: D+. This was another mess but it worked better than most of Taz’s recent matches. The idea of him having to fight off a whole team of guys worked well enough and even though Tajiri wasn’t going to get the title, he was a solid choice for a one off challenger. The money would seem to be in Corino but we’re likely to get more of that later. Rhino didn’t get physical at all here.

Tajiri would get another shot on the second episode of ECW on TNN on September 3, 1999.

ECW World Title: Taz vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri

Taz is world champion but would be gone very soon. He would be in the WWF in January. Tajiri has Corino and Victory with him in his corner. You can barely understand the announcer. I think this is non-title. Taz pounds on him to start but walks into the handspring elbow.

Tajiri kicks him in the head and this is for the title. Ok then. Tajiri tries the Tarantula but gets countered into what we would call the Alabama Slam. Head and arms Tazplex and Taz spits in Tajiri’s face. They slug it out and Taz hooks a capture Tazplex to kill Tajiri. Taz hits the crossface shots but gets kicked in the head for two. Tajiri tries a big kick but Taz ducks and the Tazmission ends this quick.

Rating: C-. Nothing great here but the crowd LOVED Taz. That being said, he would lose the title at the PPV to Mike Awesome and would say goodbye to ECW. That’s not good because the Dudleys would be leaving really soon also. Tajiri is a guy I’ve been liking more and more lately as those kicks were SWEET.

Here’s a match that was done about a million times in ECW so I have to bring it up. From Anarchy Rulz 1999.

Little Guido vs. Super Crazy vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri

This would become a staple of ECW shows for a long time. Tajiri doesn’t have anyone in his corner here. The fans are mostly behind Crazy, who now has Mexican flag inspired attire. Feeling out process to start until Crazy hits a top rope cross body on Guido for two. Tajiri kicks both of them down and goes after Crazy’s knee to take over. Guido gets sent to the ramp, allowing Tajiri to hook a headscissors on Crazy. Super comes back with a springboard missile dropkick but Guido comes in with a springboard cross body for of his own.

Guido and Tajiri make a short lived deal to work on Crazy but Tajiri quickly turns on Guido with a dropkick to the face. More kicks to the legs send Guido to the floor and Crazy puts him in the front row. Crazy dives over the barricade to take him down but Tajiri takes both of them down with a huge Asai moonsault. Sal is in the ring and crushes the non-Italians. Guido nails a middle rope Fameasser to Tajiri and covers Crazy for two.

Tajiri grabs a German suplex for two of his own on Guido before they both head to the floor again. Guido gets dropped ribs first onto the barricade and Tajiri takes him back into the crowd. This time it’s Crazy hitting a huge top rope Asai moonsault over the barricade to take both guys down again. Sal misses a charge and flies through a table to take him out for awhile. Back in and Tajiri puts Crazy in the Tarantula, leaving Crazy wide open for a hard dropkick to the face from Guido.

Crazy pops right back up and puts Tajiri in a surfboard with a dragon sleeper added in. He switches it up to a camel clutch and Guido adds on a Sicilian crab at the same time. Somehow Tajiri doesn’t give up so the hold is broken. Guido hits a quick Tomikaze for two on Crazy but Tajiri puts Guido in the Tree of Woe. A hard baseball slide to the face followed by a top rope moonsault from Crazy is enough to eliminate Guido.

It’s down to Tajiri vs. Crazy as soon as the referee is able to roll the unconscious Guido to the floor. Crazy kicks him down and nails a springboard moonsault for two before hammering away in the corner. The fans are nice enough to count to ten in Spanish as he fires in the right hands.

Tajiri comes right back with the handspring elbow, only to have Crazy nail a quick sitout powerbomb. The fans chant Super Loco but Tajiri counters another powerbomb into a spinning DDT. Crazy is back up first though and nails a reverse tornado DDT for no cover. Instead he loads up the three moonsaults but Tajiri gets his knees up to block the second one. A hard kick to Crazy’s head sets up a brainbuster for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was your usual spotfest but well done. There’s nothing wrong with sending three good high fliers out there to fire up the crowd for awhile. It’s not a great match or anything and the first Crazy vs. Tajiri match was more entertaining, but this was a very fun match and a much better choice than a lot of the nonsense ECW puts on pay per view at times. I wouldn’t mind if Tajiri and Crazy got some higher profile matches after this. Guido is a comedy character and shouldn’t be elevated.

Another three way, this time for the TV Title on ECW on TNN, April 14, 2000.

TV Title: Little Guido vs. Tajiri vs. Super Crazy

Elimination rules. Crazy is defending but the Network has promised the title to both challengers. It’s a brawl to start with Crazy being knocked to the floor. Guido kicks Tajiri down for two but gets sent to the floor a second later. Crazy comes back in but gets tossed as well by Tajiri. Guido gets kicked in the face by Tajiri but Big Sal crushes Tajiri on the floor. They’re flying around too fast to keep up with right now.

Sal misses a splash against the barricade and Tajiri bails into the crowd. Crazy uses Sal’s back as a launching pad to dive at Tajiri before pounding away on Sal in the ring. Tajiri comes back in to kick a chair into Crazy’s ribs but Guido is back in again to kick Tajiri down as well. A suplex gets two on the champion before he and Guido head to the floor. Crazy is dropped face first onto the concrete but Tajiri sends Guido over the barricade for a superkick to the jaw.

Crazy is busted BAD as Tajiri blasts Guido in the head with a chair, busting him open as well. Tajiri brings in a table but kicks Guido to the floor instead of putting him through it. Sal interferes again to give Guido control again. Crazy continues to stagger around at ringside as the challengers are back inside. Tajiri kicks Sal through a table at ringside before putting Guido in an inverted Gory Special. Even Tajiri is busted open now but he kicks both guys in the head to keep control.

Another table is brought in and placed over Guido who is already under a chair. Crazy is laid on the table but avoids Tajiri’s top rope double stomp, sending it through the table and onto Guido for the elimination. So it’s Crazy vs. Tajiri for the title now with Tajiri blasting him in the face with a chair. A German suplex puts Crazy down for two and here’s the Network. Crazy powerbombs Tajiri down for two and slides in another table.

Tajiri comes back with a crowbar of all things and blasts Crazy in the ribs. The champion kicks him down and gets the crowbar but has to duck the green mist. Another powerbomb puts Tajiri through the table but there’s no one to count. Cue Rhyno for a Gore on Crazy and a piledriver from the apron through the table at ringside. Tajiri covers the corpse that used to be Super Crazy for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. This had to happen at some point as Crazy always felt like a placeholder until we got to the important stuff. That being said, it was nice for the 485th edition of this match to actually be worth something. The carnage here was more than they needed, especially when you had three talented guys in there. At least it was exciting though.

Tajiri would have a blood bath at Hardcore Heaven 2000.

Steve Corino vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri

Corino is completely different now, having abandoned the cowardly character and becoming a serious old school style wrestler who can brawl with anyone. Tajiri has been thrown out of the Network after refusing to hand the TV Title to Rhino, thus turning face in the process. Corino is fighting for the Network here but offers to let Tajiri off. This turns into a racist tirade and Tajiri is ready to fight.

Tajiri misses a big kick to the head and Corino nails him with an enziguri. A hurricanrana is countered into a sitout powerbomb to give Steve two but Tajiri comes back with the Tarantula. They head to the ramp where Tajiri nails him with a kick to the ribs and a brainbuster to send Corino to the floor. Corino is already busted so Tajiri bites at the cut as is the custom in ECW. Back in and Steve is put in the Tree of Woe for the sliding kick to the face. There is a pool of blood under Corino’s head.

Tajiri loads up another baseball slide with a chair over Steve’s face but Jack Victory makes the save. Corino comes back with a superkick for one but his long blond hair is now almost entirely red. Steve can’t follow up so Tajiri sets up a table but kicks the edge of it, driving the other end into Steve’s ribs. You can’t see the blond in Corino’s hair anymore. Tajiri clotheslines Corino and Victory down but Corino pops back up with a backdrop through the table for two.

Corino gets two off a fisherman’s suplex and a northern lights gets the same. Steve sets up a table in the corner but gets kicked down to the mat. Tajiri puts on the Octopus Hold and Victory gets the green mist. The distraction lets Steve escape and grab a powerslam for a near fall. Tajiri goes INSANE with some of the fastest kicks and punches I’ve ever seen, followed by a big kick to the head. Corino is laid out on the table and a big double stomp from the top drives him through for the pin.

Rating: B. This was a really solid match with both guys looking great and Corino looking like a warrior out there. It’s a good example of two talented guys being able to have their skills shine through instead of getting bogged down by all the weapons and nonsense. Corino would gain a lot of respect very soon, partially because of this performance.

Tajiri would hook up with Mikey Whipwreck as the Unholy Alliance and challenge the FBI for the Tag Team Titles at November to Remember 2000.

Tag Team Titles: FBI vs. Unholy Alliance

The Italians are defending again and there’s no Minister at ringside. Mikey and Mamaluke get things going and hit the mat for a nice technical sequence before Tony gets caught in a spinning side slam. Tajiri sneaks in for a hard kick to Tony’s head and it’s off to Guido to renew an old rivalry. We get another nice technical sequence with Tajiri cranking on the arm and rolling Guido over for two.

Off to Mikey who holds holds Guido’s leg while his throat is over the rope. Tajiri tries to jump over Mikey and onto Guido’s back but mainly just lands on his partner. Instead they both place a chair next to his head and kick the chairs together to crush Guido’s head. Back in and Mikey hits a double Whippersnapper off the middle rope but hurts his shoulder in the process. The match stops for a bit as Mikey has to be taken out on a stretcher.

The fans want Super Crazy but no one comes out to help Tajiri. He helps himself with the green mist but Guido ducks. The Italians take Tajiri down into a Sicilian crab/camel clutch combo but now Crazy comes out to even up the odds. Crazy cleans house until the match settles down with Tajiri stomping a chair onto Guido’s head. Crazy holds up the chair for a dropkick against Guido’s head and the Italian is busted open.

Guido finally escapes for a tag to Mamaluke and the Italians start working on Tajiri’s arm. He’s able to counter the Kiss of Death and nails Guido in the head with a superkick but Mamaluke makes the save. Tajiri finally nails both Italians with the handspring elbow, allowing for the hot tag to Crazy.

The sitout powerbomb gets two on Mamaluke and a running DDT get sthe same on Guido. Everything breaks down again and Sal sends Crazy into the crowd. Tajiri puts Guido in a keylock as Crazy moonsaults off a sign onto Sal. The camera cuts right as contact is made, making the whole thing look stupid. Back inside and Guido grabs a bulldog on Tajiri to break up the Tarantula for the pin to retain.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t terrible but the Italians as champions just isn’t working. There are other teams that deserve the belts more than they do and the fans aren’t interested in what they’re being given. Crazy or Whipwreck and Tajiri would have been good champions but instead we’re stuck with the same guys holding the belts. They’re good, but they’re not interesting.

It was off to the WWF soon after ECW closed with Tajiri becoming part of the Alliance. Here he is challenging for the Light Heavyweight Title on Raw, August 6, 2001.

Light Heavyweight Title: X-Pac vs. Tajiri

First of all, Pac has both titles but this is just for one because having one less title means the end of the world as we know it I guess. Second, this is for a WWF Title between two WWF guys, so there’s an Alliance referee. The fans all think X-Pac sucks. They trade kicks and Tajiri takes over with his signature stuff. Pac sends him to the floor and mostly misses his dive. We can hear a voice which I think is the director. Back in, Pac tries something off the top but jumps into Mist and a Buzzsaw Kick to give Tajiri his first title. Too short to rate but Paul says that’s his first major title in the WWF. What’s a minor title then?

Another title shot, this time on Raw from September 10, 2001.

US Title: Tajiri vs. Kanyon

Kanyon takes him into the corner to start but Tajiri gets behind him and fires off the strikes. They go to the corner and the Flatliner gets two for Kanyon. They go to the floor where nothing happens and Tajiri tries a sunset flip coming back in. In a SWEET counter, Kanyon stands up and hooks a northern lights suplex out of the sunset flip attempt for two. Kanyon picks up the belt but Torrie grabs it and swings, hitting Tajiri in the head for two. Kanyon gets a rollup with his feet on the ropes for two. Green Mist and the Buzzsaw Kick give Tajiri the title.

Rating: C-. Not a horrible match I guess and Torrie looked smoking hot as always, but giving them a total of three and a half minutes didn’t do them any favors. Both of these guys were good in the ring but their characters weren’t going to get them any further than they got here, and that’s ok.

We’ll jump ahead about a year to No Mercy 2002 for yet another title shot.

Cruiserweight Title: Tajiri vs. Jamie Noble

Noble is champion here. Tajiri was the referee in a Noble/Nidia match on Smackdown for no apparent reason so Noble kicked his teeth in afterwards. Tajiri gets a baseball slide before the bell rings as that’s a running theme lately. Asai Moonsault hits and that’s about the extent of Tajiri’s offense for awhile.

Nice electric chair by Noble gets two. Pretty much domination by the champion so far. Tazz and Cole imply these three are in a three way relationship or something but that never went anywhere. The commentary is far more sexual in nature than what you would be used to in WWE today.

Jamie gets knocked off the top rope as he tries a suplex so Tajiri gets to miss a moonsault now. He does get a tornado DDT but doesn’t cover for no apparent reason. Both guys down now. Both guys up now. Tajiri unleashes that martial arts rush which is always awesome. Handspring elbow has Jamie in big trouble. German suplex gets two.

There’s the Tarantula and Jamie is reeling. Big kick misses and the Tiger Bomb is countered. There’s the kick and Nidia kisses the referee so he can’t make the count. And there’s the Tiger Bomb for two which is surprising. Tajiri goes for a victory roll but Nidia trips him so Jamie can dive into it for the Owen Hart at Mania X pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here and at least they allowed Tajiri to get in more offense than it looked like he was going to get. It’s nothing great or anything like that but this was definitely watchable and the whole thing worked pretty well. It’s a shame no one cared about this or it might have been interesting.

Yet ANOTHER title match at Judgment Day 2003.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Team Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero/Tajiri

Ladder match and Team Angle (Haas and Benjamin) are champions here. The brawl starts in the aisle as this should be rather good. Benjamin throws Eddie into a ladder and Tajiri takes his medal off. Team Angle beats Tajiri down with Eddie having been slammed into the ladder earlier. Ah there’s Eddie. And so much for that as he gets dropped on Haas’ knee to take care of that. Apparently Team Angle not knowing where a ladder is makes them inexperienced.

Tajiri and Eddie botch the heck out of something as they drop Tajiri onto the floor instead of a ladder. That looked awful. A handspring elbow by Tajiri to the ladder takes it and the champions down. Ladder goes into Charlie’s balls and the look on his face is priceless. Another ladder comes into the ring and Haas gets sandwiched between them as Eddie hits the hilo onto the ladder onto Charlie onto the ladder.

Shelton pulls Tajiri off the ladder and Tajiri’s face hits the rung on the way down. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Shelton powerslams Eddie into the ladder and the challengers are in trouble. This is one of those matches where there are just spots happening with very little going on in between. Not bad but kind of tiring. Team Angle does that jump on the back thing but from a ladder onto the ladder with Tajiri in between. That was awesome looking.

Haas almost gets up there but Eddie pops up to send Haas flying to the floor. The ladder gets wedged between the top and middle rope and Eddie is sent flying into it. Time for the Tajiri kicks and a ladder shot. Tarantula goes onto Haas which gets a big pop. Shelton saves his partner by driving the ladder into the head of the Japanese man. The champions take over again with Eddie in trouble.

The idea here is supposed to be that Team Angle doesn’t know how to win a ladder match due to inexperience. The problem with that is simple: you climb the thing. That’s how you win. See the belts? Go get them! How hard is that? Eddie goes up but Charlie keeps slowing him down.

Shelton goes after him too but Eddie knocks him down and drops a Frog Splash on him in a cool spot. Eddie vs. Charlie on top of the ladder and Charlie takes a sunset bomb to the mat. Always loved that move. Tajiri is finally back and his Mists Shelton to let Eddie grab the belts as we have new champions.

Rating: B-. This was good but the problem is that we’ve seen all this before. The MITB match coming up would make everything else done not called TLC seem weak. This was a good match and belonged on the PPV but it feels pretty worthless all things considered now. Good match, nothing we haven’t seen before though.

In other news, Tajiri gets a title shot at Summerslam 2003.

US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit vs. Tajiri vs. Rhyno

Eddie is defending and this is one fall to a finish. Eddie has ticked off all three challengers so they all want to take him out. The champion bails to the floor so everyone else can fight and we quickly get down to Rhyno vs. Benoit. Chris hooks a quick Crossface, drawing Eddie in for the save. Tajiri is back in as well but Eddie breaks up a cover. Everyone is in now and all three challengers go after Eddie at the same time.

Rhyno hits a running shoulder to Eddie’s ribs in the corner and powerslams him down for two but Benoit comes back with a German suplex. A belly to back gets two on Tajiri but Eddie makes another save. Benoit is suplexed to the floor and Eddie is left alone with Tajiri, only to have the challenger monkey flip Eddie down for two. Rhyno comes back in and sends Tajiri to the floor but Benoit wants to beat up Eddie himself, triggering a brawl between challengers.

Rhyno gets control again and superplexes Eddie down for two but Tajiri kicks him in the back of the head. Tajiri snaps off the handspring elbow for two on Chris but Rhyno sends Tajiri to the floor, only to have Eddie headscissor him out to the floor. Eddie hurricanranas Benoit out of the corner for two and it’s Tajiri in again for some hard kicks. Eddie hooks the Lasso From El Paso (Liontamer crossed with the Texas Cloverleaf) on Tajiri but Benoit stops Rhyno from making the save with the Crossface.

Tajiri makes the ropes so Eddie turns around to dropkick Benoit in the head for the save. Benoit grabs the Crossface on Guerrero but Rhyno and Tajiri make the double save. Rhyno hits a spinebuster for two on Tajiri but Benoit knocks Rhyno to the floor. Chris rolls some Germans on Tajiri but Tajiri reverses into one of his own for two on Benoit.

Tajiri catches a charging Benoit in the Tarantula and the distraction lets Eddie get the US Title to shield himself from Rhyno’s Gore. Tajiri breaks up the Frog Splash but gets caught in the Tree of Woe. Benoit Swan Dives Rhyno but Tajiri makes a last second save. Tajiri and Benoit fall to the floor and Eddie frog splashes Rhyno to retain.

Rating: B+. This was non-stop action for about eleven minutes and incredibly entertaining as a result. It’s a great example of how wrestling and action can be so much more interesting than whatever drama the McMahons have going on at the moment. Watching these four make save after save is WAY more fun than hearing about Bischoff forcing himself on Linda or Stephanie being FURIOUS with Sable over whatever affair her dad is having this month.

Raw Tag Team Titles this time. From Unforgiven 2004.

Raw Tag Titles: La Resistance vs. Tajiri/Rhyno

Conway/Grenier here. Conway vs. Tajiri starts us off and Tajiri speeds around a lot to take over. Off to Grenier who hits the floor to avoid a Gore. Tajiri comes back in and takes over with a semi-botched tornado DDT. Conway beats on Tajiri and the fans just do not care. Off to a reverse chinlock as the fans chant USA for a Japanese comeback. Rhyno comes in and beats on both French dudes a bit.

This match needs to end like five minutes ago. It’s just boring but you could say that about every tag title match in this period. We hear about Rhyno looking everywhere for a partner as he walks into a double flapjack for two. The flag goes into Conway’s balls but a Gore only gets two. And there’s a flag to the face of Rhyno for the cheap pin.

Rating: F+. This had zero point in being on PPV. It wouldn’t even be a good Raw match, mainly because it went on way too long, getting almost ten minutes. La Resistance would be the heel team of the year for awhile as no one cared at all and it went nowhere at all. The tag division sucked BAD around this point and this is a fine example of it.

One last title shot and this time it’s in Japan. From Raw on February 7, 2005.

Raw Tag Titles: William Regal/Tajiri vs. La Resistance

Gee I wonder what’s going to happen here. Conway and Grenier here. The place ERUPTS for Tajiri who is all fired up here. Regal and Eugene were champions but Eugene is injured so Regal picked Tajiri as his new partner. Massive Tajiri chant starts up so Regal starts off with Conway. Regal Stretch goes on but it’s off to Tajiri who adds the low dropkick as the offense is on.

Regal plays Ricky Morton for a bit here despite getting some shots in to try to break the momentum. The fans chant something but it’s in Japanese. Grenier punches Tajiri so when Regal takes him down there’s no one to tag. STF is broken up quickly and there’s the hot tag to Tajiri who cleans house. Let the kicks begin! Enziguri hits Grenier for two as everything breaks down. Double handspring elbow takes out the French dudes and it’s Tarantula time. Regal takes Conway down and there’s the Green Mist and a Buzzsaw kick gives us new champions.

Rating: C+. The match totally doesn’t matter and is rated too high, but this is about giving the fans something to erupt for and that’s exactly what they did here. Tajiri and Regal would hold the belts about three months so this wasn’t just a fluke title reign. No problem at all with this and while it’s not great or anything, it was perfectly done as it made Tajiri look like a star.

That’s about it for Tajiri in America as he went back to Japan to wrestle for Hustle and NJPW. He even started his own company called Smash which for some reason had ties to Finland. We’ll wrap it up with one more match from Pro Wrestling Noah on July 22, 2012.

Tajiri vs. Maybach Taniguchi

This appears to be a hardcore or death match as Tajiri comes in holding a barbed wire baseball bat. They’re quickly on the floor with Tajiri being very aggressive and sending Taniguchi into the barricade. He throws a short ladder into the ring and whips the masked Mayback into the ladder in the corner. Tajiri throws the ladder over the ropes to try and hit Taniguchi again but only nails the concrete.

Now we get the opening bell and Taniguchi chokes away back inside. More choking ensues in the corner as this is nowhere near as violent as it seemed it would be. A chokeslam plants Tajiri but he escapes a powerbomb, only to be shoved into the referee. Mayback grabs the ball bat but Tajiri takes it away and drives it into the masked man’s ribs. He rips Taniguchi’s mask open, but it allows Taniguchi to blow red mist into Tajiri’s face. The referee gets up just in time to see Taniguchi blast Tajiri with a chair for the DQ.

Rating: C-. This was an odd match as it came off looking like a blood feud but turned into a slow paced match for most of the middle. The ending picked things up a bit but it still wasn’t the most interesting match in the world. Tajiri going insane could be something interesting to see if he had time though.

Tajiri is a guy who is known for doing one thing but is capable of doing a lot more on top of that. Those kicks are insane though and sound a lot worse than they actually are. Still though, he’s entertaining to watch and still looks good even much later in his career. It’s a shame he couldn’t talk or he could have been a bigger deal.

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RVD vs. Cesaro has been announced as the pre-show match. Neither guy has anything going right now but I could see RVD being the American version of Jericho to Cesaro’s Bray Wyatt and give the guy on a losing streak a win. The match should be entertaining, although it’s likely going to be short.

We’ll start the full card with the main event of Brock Lesnar challenging John Cena for the World Title. I’ve heard people say that Lesnar could win by DQ and Rollins cashes in, but I just can’t see it happening. There’s no reason not to put the title on Brock as a payoff from the Undertaker win. No he won’t be defending a lot, but that could open up the door for some more people to make a splash. I could even see this holding out until Wrestlemania where Reigns can punch Lesnar in the jaw to win the title. I don’t see it happening, but it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.

The other major match is Ambrose vs. Rollins, but I don’t think it’s time to pull the trigger on Dean’s win yet. This thing is destined to go to a match for the briefcase, which would almost have to be in the middle of a big brawl. The lumberjacks are an interesting idea but it’s not what I would have picked for the stipulation. Still though, it’s going to be entertaining to see Dean hammer on Rollins for eighteen minutes. The match will be a lot better if I don’t have to listen to Cole try to get “lunatic fringe” over as the new catchphrase.

Bray Wyatt beats Jericho and there’s zero reason to think anything else is logical. Granted the same thing could have been said about their Battleground match.

I think Nikki turns on her sister to cost Brie the match, because the world is clamoring for the Bellas to go at it. This story hasn’t been interesting most people and I can’t imagine there would be any real desire to see the story continue. Therefore, you can pencil in another match at Night of Champions.

Rusev should beat Swagger in the Flag Match, but I’m still not clear what the rules are. I’ve heard it’s basically a flag on a pole match and I’ve heard a regular match with the winner getting to wave their flag. If it’s the former, I’d be far more likely to believe Swagger could win. Either way, Rusev is the guy here and should head on to winning the US Title after this.

AJ Lee retains against Paige but has to cheat to do so. I’m not sure why they think she should turn heel but that’s where they’ve been heading recently. The match has potential but I can’t imagine it’s anything great.

Reigns beats Orton. Is there really any other possible option?

Miz isn’t going to lose the title this soon, especially not when he’s actually nailing the character as well as he has been lately. If they play it right, this could wind up being a very successful title reign for him and a way back up the card for Miz.

Overall Summerslam looks good on paper and I’m pretty sure the big matches are going to deliver, but I’m not sure if it’s going to be worth all the build we’ve had to sit through. I’m not sure where we’re heading for the fall, but it has to be more interesting than the last few months of 2013. Lesnar vs. Cena is going to rock and the lumberjack match won’t be too far behind. Summerslam should be solid but I can’t see it coming close to last year’s show.

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