As confirmed by WWE.com. I can’t process this one. Dusty was 69 years old and I haven’t seen a cause yet.
Dusty is best remembered as a rambling fat man but make no mistake about it: he was one of the biggest stars in the 1970s and one of the greatest talkers of all time. If you somehow haven’t seen it, go find his Hard Times promo.
I’ll likely have more to say on this when I can get it through my head.
I was looking back at an old NXT review from December 11, 2013. Here’s my take on Ascension back then.
There’s really no one left for Ascension to beat in NXT but they would die on the main roster. The skills are there, but can you imagine Cole trying to talk about these guys? They would be buried by the commentary so badly that they’d be lucky to get a win over Los Matadores.
Have they even beaten Los Matadores? I don’t believe so.
Or newcomers class.We talk about the 2002 rookie class as the best ever in WWE and with good reason. You had:
John Cena
Randy Orton
Brock Lesnar
Batista
Rey Mysterio
If there has ever been a better group of talent coming into the company in one year, I’ve never heard of it.
However, there’s another group that beats anyone out for second place that doesn’t get as much attention. From February 14, 1999 to January 31, 2000, the following debuted:
Chris Benoit
Eddie Guerrero
Big Show
Chris Jericho
Kurt Angle
That’s not a bad group for second, and the fact that four of them left WCW to come over makes them even more valuable. Not as valuable as 2002’s group of course, but it’s not too shabby.
Monday Night Raw
Date: June 8, 2015
Location: Smoothie King Center, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, Byron Saxton
It’s the go home show for Money in the Bank and the ladder match is set with all seven of its competitors. As announced on WWE.com, six of the participants will be in singles matches tonight, including a rematch from last week with Orton vs. Sheamus. Hopefully we get more solid mic work from Ambrose and Rollins as well. Let’s get to it.
Before we get started, on a completely unrelated note: thanks for everything Unc. I’ll always remember you.
Here’s Cena, with a broken nose, to open things up. Cena talks about some of the biggest events in WWE: Hogan vs. Rock, the Streak and the Money in the Bank ladder match. That’s uh, quite the collection. Those in the ladder match are fighting for an opportunity on the same night two people will be fighting in the same ring with one getting an opportunity of his own.
Kevin Owens thinks Cena’s time is up and his time is now but this Sunday Cena will be fighting for everyone that believes in him as well as those people who think he sucks. This Sunday he proves that he is still the face that runs this place because he is John Cena. Cue Owens who says that Cena is just proving his point. Cena is delusional if he thinks he’s winning on Sunday or if the fans are interested in seeing an open challenge for the US Title.
People have been watching Cena come out to open Raw for ten years now and some people must be sick of it. Instead, let’s have an NXT Title Open Challenge instead. Cena loves the idea and says he accepts. Owens says no because Cena is already facing him on Sunday so no match tonight. They accuse each other of being delusional and Cena issues his own Open Challenge and looks right at Owens as he says come get some.
Owens has another idea: whoever comes down the ramp next gets to pick which title they want to fight for. Cue Neville, who says he would love to fight John Cena…..one day. Owens is a prize fighter, but Neville knows what it takes to hold that prize. Therefore, Neville will take that NXT Title shot right now.
NXT Title: Kevin Owens vs. Neville
Owens is defending of course and John Cena is making a rare appearance on commentary. The champ goes right to the floor but Neville follows him out for some kicks to the ribs. Back in and a nice running hurricanrana sends Owens back to the floor for the big moonsault dive. They get back in again and Owens just slugs Neville down and hits a wicked Cannonball for two.
We hit the chinlock and Cena gets in a great line by saying no one talks about the minor league home run champion because they’d rather talk about Babe Ruth. A backsplash gets two for Kevin and a belly to back gets the same as Cena is coming off as one of the most polished commentators I’ve ever heard. Back with Neville countering an AA into a DDT to get a breather.
The big Asai moonsault barely grazes Kevin’s arm (it wasn’t clear who screwed up) so Neville has to settle for a middle rope dropkick for two. Back up and Owens ducks a kick and grabs the arm, lifting Neville up into something like a brainbuster onto the knee. Owens doesn’t use that one often but it looked great. Neville comes back with the delayed German but Owens crotches him to break up the Red Arrow. The Pop Up Powerbomb retains the title at 14:00.
Rating: B. This was as good as you would have expected and I’m looking forward to seeing Cena and Owens tear the house down again on Sunday. Owens plays a great power brawler and we’ve been lacking a good powerbomb for a long time now. Fun match here and it’s awesome to see the NXT guys getting their shot on the main roster.
Video on Rollins vs. Neville at Elimination Chamber and the resulting aftermath that set up Sunday’s ladder match.
WWE praises itself for having a half billion social media followers because that means they’re awesome and TOTALLY EQUAL TO EVERY OTHER MAJOR ENTERTAINMENT COMPANY EVER.
Rollins comes up to the Authority and implies they’re all in trouble on Sunday but Stephanie brings up what Rollins said last week about not needing the two of them. They’ll be there on Sunday but not at ringside. However, tonight Seth can pick his own opponent.
We recap Paige getting screwed by Twin Magic last week and her ensuing promo ripping into the Bellas dominating the Divas division for way too long. She’s promised to change the division forever.
Nikki Bella says Paige is projecting her frustration onto the twins and is sure the Bellas have never held anyone back. Maybe this is Paige’s house, but it’s the Bellas’ world.
Summer Rae vs. Nikki Bella
Non-title. A quick rollup gets two for Nikki but it’s time for some pushups. Summer comes back with a cobra clutch for a bit before Nikki fights up and hits the Rack Attack for the pin at 2:19.
We recap Reigns having to win three times last week to retain his Money in the Bank spot.
Here’s Reigns with something to say. He talks about hating that briefcase for so long because of who it was attached to. Now it doesn’t sound so bad though because he’s going to pull it down and cash in against Dean Ambrose some day down the line. Cue Kane who says he’s in the ladder match on Sunday to protect the Authority’s interests. Reigns offers Kane a chance to come in right now for a demonstration in breaking jaws but here’s Dolph Ziggler to interrupt.
Kane isn’t getting in the ring right now because the Authority hasn’t pulled his strings. After taking forever to call Kane a tool, Ziggler says he’s going to win on Sunday. Kane reminds Dolph about the dangers of certain tools and reminds him that everyone is in singles matches against each other tonight. Well minus Neville of course. This brings out R-Truth for some reason but a confused Kane tells him that he isn’t in the match. R-Truth: “Are you sure?” Kane: “Yeah.” Truth: “My bad.” And he’s gone.
Kane tries to continue but gets cut off by New Day. They promise that Kofi will pull the briefcase down using the power of positivity, making all of them Mr. Money in the Bank because NEW DAY ROCKS! This brings out Sheamus, who laughs at the idea of anyone else winning this Sunday. He’ll be one Brogue Kick away from becoming champion all over again. Kane finally gets to introduce Orton, who comes out as scheduled. This was basically just a way to remind us of who is in on Sunday.
Randy Orton vs. Sheamus
Rematch from last week where Sheamus was disqualified. Orton quickly takes it to the floor for some shots tot he ribs before hitting the Stomp back inside. Sheamus bails outside again and is whipped hard into the barricade for his efforts. Back in and a neck snap across the top rope gives Sheamus control so he slaps on an armbar. Quite the power brawler indeed. Orton fights back but gets knocked to the floor as we take a break.
Back with Sheamus driving a knee into the ribs and slapping on a chinlock to slow things down again. Sheamus slowly walks around so Orton slugs away and hits the t-bone suplex. The elevated DDT connects but both guys miss finishers. Instead it’s a clothesline to send Sheamus outside, only to have Sheamus throw him over the table. Just like last week, Sheamus busts out a chair but eats a right hand to the ribs. Orton throws the chair at Sheamus’ ribs and that’s a DQ at 13:13.
Rating: C-. Bleh. I still cannot find a way to care about these two having a match. They’re two of my favorites but they’re just not a pairing I want to see. It didn’t help that the ending was the same thing they did last week to cap off doing almost the entire same match from last week. Was there no one else you could put in there? Like, Ziggler vs. Orton perhaps?
Post match Orton stomps Sheamus’ head on the steps (insert your own Curb Stomp joke here) and hits an RKO.
The Stooges annoy Rollins as they ask to be in his corner on Sunday. They’re huge morons and he doesn’t need them on Sunday, so Jamie says screw you. They’re Shield 2.0 with Mercury as an upgrade over Reigns and Noble being better than Ambrose. Rollins is a son of a gun and would be nothing without the Authority. That’s enough to earn the Stooges a match against the champ tonight. Jamie and Rollins slap each other and Mercury has to break it up before threatening Rollins for later.
Kane vs. Dolph Ziggler
Neither guy gets an entrance and it’s Ziggler starting fast, only to be uppercut out of the air. With Lana looking on we hit the chinlock to slow the match down again. Kane slugs him down in the corner as the crowd gets even quieter with every Kane right hand. A side slam gets two and we stop to look at Lana again. Kane boots Dolph’s head off for two and we take a break. Back with Ziggler fighting out of a bearhug and nailing a superkick to put both guys down. Lana applauds and here’s Rusev to distract her, causing Lana to fall off the ramp and hurt her ankle. The distraction lets Kane nail a chokeslam for the pin at 9:46.
Rating: D. I had forgotten how much I hated these singles matches leading up to a big multi-man match, even though it was driving me crazy just a few weeks back. It doesn’t help that it’s more of Rusev getting on my nerves with the whole broken man thing. At least he didn’t seem upset when he hurt Lana.
Lana gets her ankle checked and is prescribed ice.
It’s time for MizTV, starting with a clip of Ryback and Big Show getting into it last week. Naturally Ryback and Big Show are the guests tonight, starting with Ryback who interrupts Miz’s introduction. Miz lists off his resume and Ryback cuts him off again because he’s sick of hearing all these lines over and over again. They argue a bit until Big Show cuts them off as only he can.
Show talks about how he can take everything he wants anytime he wants so Ryback says come get this title. They stare each other down and Big Show yells at Miz, who jumps the giant. Miz is thrown down so Ryback Shell Shocks Show. Why they didn’t SAVE THAT FOR THE FREAKING MATCH is beyond me but then again Big Show and Kane are featured in big matches in 2015 so I shouldn’t be that surprised.
We recap the makings of the handicap match.
Luke Harper/Erick Rowan vs. Los Matadores
Rowan throws Diego around to start and brings in Harper to run over Fernando. Back to Rowan to knock Torito off the apron, meaning there’s no one for Fernando to tag. A 3D (The Way) ends Fernando at 2:15.
Harper gets a mic and says tick tock tick tock because the time to pay for your sins is coming. The judgment is waiting at your door. Rowan says it’s ok to be afraid because you should be.
Kane comes in to see Rollins and laughs about the Instagram photos Ambrose has been posting of himself with the title all around New Orleans. Yeah I’ve ignored these stupid things all night but they’re little more than WWE saying HEY! DID YOU KNOW WE HAVE A LOT OF FOLLOWES ON SOCIAL MEDIA??? BECAUSE WE TOTALLY DO! Kane threatens to cash in on Sunday and they bicker. Again.
More social media stats and another Ambrose picture. These are now being used to announce that Dean will be here tonight. Ignore that the ticket in the picture clearly says COMP.
Trailer for Ted 2.
Big E. vs. Titus O’Neil
Woods calls Big E. the Minister of Mass. E. gets a quick two off a belly to belly and hammers away at the bald head. An abdominal stretch lets Big E. slap Titus’ stomach for the NEW DAY ROCKS clap. Titus fights back with some chops in the corner and an old Pounce ala Monty Brown, only to have the partners get in a fight on the floor. That distraction lets Big E. hit the Big Ending for the pin at 3:13.
Rating: D. This show has drained me of any interest in any more mini versions of matches I’m going to see on Sunday. Also, nice job of having the challenger lose to make sure I buy into his team having a chance going into their title match on Sunday. It’s already not a great match in the first place and this didn’t help.
Roman Reigns vs. Kofi Kingston
Kofi’s wristlock doesn’t work very well and Reigns wristlocks him to the floor. The other New Day members offer a distraction to let Kofi take over but Reigns fights back again and sends Kofi outside one more time. The apron kick looks to set up Reigns’ big dive but he has to settle for a running clothesline off the steps to take out Woods. Kofi slides back in for a nice baseball slide and we take a break.
Back with Reigns fighting out of a chinlock so it’s right back to another chinlock. Kofi goes up for a nice top rope ax handle as Woods will not shut up (in a good way). Reigns makes his comeback with a bunch of clotheslines and a tilt-a-whirl slam for two. The SOS is countered into a sitout powerbomb for two more but he has to take out Woods and Big E. A rollup gets two for Kofi but he dives into the Superman Punch for the pin at 12:07.
Rating: C+. I liked this more than I thought I would as Kofi is more than capable of making a match like this look good. Reigns fighting off the trio works fine as they’re not losing in a tag match so it’s no real loss. Fun match here, even though the ending wasn’t ever really in any doubt.
Reigns grabs a chair and Ambrose comes to sit down, carrying popcorn and a Pepsi.
Jamie Noble/Joey Mercury vs. Seth Rollins
Kane is out with the Stooges. Mercury spins out of a wristlock to start but Seth does the same thing and sends Joey into the mat. The Stooges take a breather on the floor but Kane offers a distraction to let them get in some double teaming. Ambrose pours popcorn on Seth’s head, allowing Joey to nail a nice dropkick for one, followed by an armdrag into an armbar. Seth throws him outside and laughs at Dean a bit before putting on a chinlock at 11:08pm.
Rollins misses a charge in the corner and the hot tag brings in Noble to clean house, completel with his little dance. The swinging neckbreaker gets two and the Stooges try the Rick Rude Wrestlemania V pin for a VERY close two, but Jamie eats a low superkick to change control again. Mercury gets buckle bombed into his partner and Seth loads up the Pedigree, only for Dean to get up and throw the title in. The distraction lets Joey get a rollup for the pin at 9:00. Yes, this match that started in the overrun got NINE MINUTES.
Rating: D+. Yeah the match was entertaining enough and I get the point but maybe they could have been done with this earlier if they hadn’t had to spend half an hour patting themselves on the back for their win. Not a bad match here but it just kept going when it could have been done in about half the time.
Dean hits Dirty Deeds to take the title back and climbs a ladder to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. This show wasn’t great but unlike the disaster of two weeks ago, there isn’t one (or two) major problems bringing it down. Instead this was like death by 1000 stab wounds as so much of the show was about the stupid Instagram/social media stats and most of the people in Money in the Bank having singles matches that mean nothing. That’s the big problem with matches like these: there’s nothing important and you know the ladder match is down to at most two people. Cut the thing down and make it more interesting instead of having this big of a mess. Not a good show this week but it did have some fun parts.
Results
Kevin Owens b. Neville – Pop Up Powerbomb
Nikki Bella b. Summer Rae – Rack Attack
Sheamus b. Randy Orton via DQ when Orton threw a chair
Kane b. Dolph Ziggler – Chokeslam
Luke Harper/Erick Rowan b. Los Matadores – The Way to Fernando
Big E. b. Titus O’Neil – Big Ending
Roman Reigns b. Kofi Kingston – Superman Punch
Jamie Noble/Joey Mercury b. Seth Rollins – Rollup
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
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I know it’s annoying but…..
So I was at Wal-Mart today and I saw the Brawling Buddies (new version of Wrestling Buddies, which were in fact the coolest things ever), the WWE toy sections, and a towel with Orton/Cena/other WWE guys on it. I know we talk a lot about how family friendly can be annoying, but this is why it’s happened. WWE is right there with stuff like Marvel and Disney and they would be crazy to go edgier again (at least long term) and throw away this sort of opening. Yeah it gets annoying to the older fans, but it’s far better for the company as a whole.
We’re past Elimination Chamber (I won’t be doing a Reviewing the Review for that as I pretty much said everything I was going to say on the last podcast) and less than two weeks away from Money in the Bank, which means we already know most of the people in the ladder match because we have to get there as soon as possible. Tonight is the first part of the rushed build to the show so let’s get to it.
We open with the Authority (YAY!) to complain about Ambrose stealing the title last night but get Roman Reigns instead. A ladder match is set up for Money in the Bank with Rollins defending against Ambrose and Seth saying he doesn’t need the Authority. This would be the teenage rebellion years against Mommy and Daddy Helmsley. Stephanie went into full on evil Stephanie mode against Reigns but HHH called her off and said Reigns had to defend his Money in the Bank spot right now.
This wasn’t the worst opening segment as thankfully they kept it to the point and didn’t let Stephanie take Roman apart for a change. Ambrose vs. Rollins was set up in a hurry but you have to do that on the two week build. It’s not a bad way of getting things done but, as usual, Stephanie added nothing here.
Reigns successfully defended his spot against King Barrett because Barrett can take yet another loss right? Then he successfully defended it against Mark Henry because who cares about Henry? Then he successfully defended it against Bray Wyatt because his push is as up and down as Barrett’s. This was the old Chris Jericho Intercontinental Title marathon idea (also involving Stephanie actually) and it worked well enough. If they build up Reigns as someone who has to keep overcoming the odds, they might get people to care about him for a change.
Ryback didn’t have a match against Miz because Big Show returned and set up a title program. I can live with Big Show in this role FAR easier than in the main event, though I’m still not thrilled with seeing him. If he’s just there to put Ryback over though, everything should be fine for the most part. If Ryback can Shell Shock him, the place will come unglued. Well probably mostly glued together but there will be cracks.
Now we get the really good moment of the night as Kevin Owens came out and delivered an amazing victory speech about how he proved himself to be the better man last night as he pinned John Cena in the middle of the ring. Owens talked about his son being a John Cena fan and how last night, he defeated Super Cena in the middle of the ring because he’s a real man and role model who does everything he promises to do.
Cena came out and gave his Serious Cena speech about how Owens isn’t a real man because he got so obsessed with being a role model that he stopped acting like a man is supposed to. Cena talked about how he does things for kids, including one in the crowd wearing Cena gear and holding a sign saying “I’m beating cancer.” I’ve heard people saying this was faked or staged and it just makes me shake my head. Not everything is some concocted work people. Stop looking for things that aren’t there and enjoy a cool moment. Anyway John says he won’t give up and is ready for Money in the Bank. Outstanding.
New Day came out to talk about having Kofi winning Money in the Bank and retaining their Tag Team Titles, complete with sound effects. This led to Kofi losing to Dolph Ziggler and New Day losing a six man tag to Ziggler and the Prime Time Players, who would go on to become #1 contenders (in case that wasn’t COMPLETELY OBVIOUS ALREADY) a few days later on Smackdown.
Now we get to the stupid part of the show, as Nikki Bella successfully defended her Divas Title against Paige by seemingly turning heel yet again (assuming you considered her a full on face) by having her sister do Twin Magic with her. Yes, Brie Bella, who is mostly pale by comparison and lacking various surgical augmentations and with different color hair, is apparently still close enough to her sister’s looks that the referee couldn’t tell the difference between the two of them. I’ve heard that this was damage control from the whole “all black wrestlers look alike” backlash from Payback and that’s not the most out there theory in the world.
Sheamus beat up Orton with a chair for a DQ in a Money in the Bank preview match. I’m a fan of both guys but these two have some of the most horrible main event level chemistry I’ve seen in a long time. They can have good matches against almost anyone else but they just don’t work against each other.
Rusev said he was a broken man. My heart is the thing that’s breaking.
Neville beat Bo Dallas in a shortened version of their Elimination Chamber match.
Ambrose came out to save Reigns to end the show after the Wyatt match.
Other than Cena and Owens, this show was pretty uneventful. It’s part of the problem of setting up your major matches in the first ten minutes: after that, what else is there to do for the rest of the night? Well other than have non-twins act like twins all over again because referees are that stupid. This show was much more dull than last week, but I’ll take dull over rage inducing any day. I’m looking forward to the night after Money in the Bank so we can FINALLY get to a normal schedule again because this is starting to get old.
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Smackdown
Date: June 4, 2015
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Jerry Lawler
In something I could get used to, the big story tonight continues to be Kevin Owens, who will be issuing an NXT Title Open Challenge in the same vein as John Cena’s US Title Open Challenges. Owens has only had one match on the main roster so far so it’s going to be interesting to see how they treat him here. Let’s get to it.
We open with stills of Sunday’s main event with Ambrose winning via DQ but leaving with the title anyway.
Here’s Rollins to get things going, of course without the title but carrying a chair. A year ago to the day, he took a chair to Ambrose and Reigns to dismantle the Shield. Rollins sits down in the chair and talks about being asked “why” so many times over the last year. Why did he do what he did and destroy what he created? From the day he arrived, he said his goal was to be the very best in this industry.
After all the time in the Shield, he got tired of sharing the glory with two chumps beneath him. That led him to the Authority, who groomed him to be the future of the WWE. Then he won the Money in the Bank ladder match all by himself. Around the time of the Royal Rumble, he had a vision to defeat Brock Lesnar and Roman Reigns at the same time. To execute a plan like that took a genius (So people like Kane and Jack Swagger are geniuses?) because now the Beast is off licking his wounds and Reigns is living in Seth’s shadow.
Rollins stands here as the greatest champion of all time but with no title around his waist. That brings him to Dean Ambrose, who wants all of the fans to think that stealing a title makes you a champion. Well allegedly it made him the Intercontinental Champion so why not try it with the big belt too? Rollins can take care of Ambrose without any member of the Authority, including Stephanie or HHH. Cue Ambrose on the screen, standing under a ladder, to say Rollins either has a bad memory or is a liar.
The fans saw Ambrose pin him on Sunday and now he knows the Authority is going to send everyone that they can to keep this title from slipping through their fingers. At Elimination Chamber, Ambrose climbed to the top of the mountain and at Money in the Bank, he’ll climb to the top of the ladder and claim the WWE World Heavyweight Championship that rightfully belongs to him or he’ll die trying.
This right here was a great example of why the Authority really isn’t needed most of the time. Yeah they helped set up the story, but this was one of the better promos these two have ever had, which happens to come off the heels of another of their best promos ever last week. The Authority bogs so much stuff down with HHH taking twice as long as any human to speak and Stephanie has to get in her buzz words because saying “WWE World Heavyweight Championship” and “Money in the Bank pay per view” is how you sell a show instead of letting the wrestlers who hate each other talk the fans into the building.
Prime Time Players vs. Ascension vs. Lucha Dragons
#1 contenders match. Darren and Sin get things going with Cara being taken down to the mat but nipping up to his feet. Off to Kalisto who eats a clothesline for two as the fans are just silent here. Viktor tags himself in to stay on Kalisto as New Day is watching in the back. Kalisto kicks Konnor out to the floor and sends Viktor out to the floor as well, setting up a nice double suicide dive to get the fans into things a bit.
We take a break and come back with Ascension working over Kalisto, including Viktor dropping an elbow for two. Kalisto finally gets a boot up in the corner and takes Viktor down with a middle rope ankle scissors. Saxton: “Kalisto is like a real life Sonic the Hedgehog.” No Byron, he isn’t.
Ascension breaks up a hot tag attempt but Kalisto knees out of a delayed vertical suplex, allowing Titus to tag himself in and clean house. Everything breaks down with Titus kicking Konnor in the face and throwing Kalisto at him to put both guys on the floor. The pumphandle powerslam from Titus is enough to pin Viktor at 9:29.
Rating: C. Fun triple threat match here though the continued depush of Ascension makes my head hurt. They’re a good power team and we even got a nice little tease of that on Sunday, so it’s time for them to get pinned again here. To say they were in trouble coming out of the gates is an understatement, but WWE hasn’t done them any favors.
Renee Young asks New Day about their future now that they know their #1 contenders. Woods continues to be amazing with a line of “Renee, our future is as bright as a morning sun…….rising over a new day.” Their plan for the Prime Time Players: dispose of the Prime Time Players and their greed, clap and then watch Kofi Kingston win Money in the Bank. Kane comes in and makes Kofi vs. Neville for tonight.
Sonic auditions.
Ryback vs. Stardust
Non-title. Ryback throws him into the corner to start but runs into a boot to the face. A reverse DDT gets two for Stardust and a running knee to the face gets the same. Off to the chinlock for a bit before it’s the Meat Hook and Shell Shock to give Ryback the pin at 2:11. Nothing to see here.
We recap the Bellas using Twin Magic on Raw, which is still a horrible idea.
Renee Young brings Paige out for a chat. Paige says it feels like things are never going to change around here because the Twin Magic has been done for years. The Bellas come out here every week and talk about giving Divas a chance but they know it’s all about them and they make sure to hold the rest of the Divas back. Their lives are all about being celebrities but Paige’s life is consumed with what happens in that ring. She’ll never buy into the idea of if you can’t beat em, join em. Instead, it’s up to her to change the world she’s in. Good stuff here but it’s the same story AJ did before the Bellas took over the division.
Harper and Rowan say they’re different because they’re family.
Stills of Owens vs. Cena on Sunday.
Here’s Kevin Owens for the NXT Title Open Challenge. Before the match, Owens talks about everyone knowing him after what he did this past Sunday. He’s the man who defeated John Cena in his first match in WWE. However, Owens’ son is still a John Cena fan because he’s seven years old and doesn’t know any better. On Monday, Owens heard the emotion in Cena’s voice and learned something: John Cena is completely delusional.
Cena actually believes all the nonsense he spews out. Cena stood out here and said Owens isn’t a real man, so there is no way Kevin can let his son be influenced like this anymore. The fairy tales that Cena force feeds kids around the world have to stop and Owens is glad to be the one to step up and do just that at Money in the Bank. That brings him to tonight and the NXT Title Open Challenge starts right…..well he isn’t wearing a watch so just get out here.
NXT Title: Kevin Owens vs. Zack Ryder
We even get big match intros. Owens is all over him to start but a single forearm sends him out to the floor. Ryder is right back on him but Owens knocks Zack into the barricade. Back in and Ryder scores with a middle rope dropkick but the Pop Up Powerbomb ends this in 1:12.
Owens gives him the Cannonball and another powerbomb post match.
Sheamus enjoyed giving Orton a beating on Monday and he’s going to do it to everyone in the Money in the Bank ladder match in ten days before going on to become WWE Champion. Simple yet effective again.
Tough Enough videos.
Neville vs. Kofi Kingston
This has potential. Kofi kicks him down to start but Neville flips forward into the cross body out of the corner. Lawler: “Neville has so many moves that when I try to call his matches, I’m more confused than a chameleon in a bag of Skittles.” That’s Lawler’s one clever line all year. Kofi sends him to the floor for some cheap shots from the New Day and we take a break.
Back with Kofi getting two off a reverse suplex but Neville kicks him right back. A standing shooting star gets two on Kofi and Neville plants him with a tornado DDT. Big E. pulls Kofi away before the Red Arrow can launch, but Neville just dives on both of them with a big moonsault. Back in and Neville counters a rollup into one of his own for the surprise pin at 8:04.
Rating: C+. Neville continues to impress and it’s cool to see him fight off all three guys and pick up a win with something other than the Red Arrow. You don’t want to overuse the big spots and risk burning the fans out on them, because there comes a point where even Neville can’t top himself with the high spots.
It’s time for MizTV with special guest Lana, who has her own Titantron video. We look back at the breakup and Rusev being all devastated as a result. Lana says Rusev didn’t respect him so he doesn’t deserve her. This gets a standing ovation from Miz, who describes Lana as good. He calls it a good business decision, but Lana, with the accent melting word by word, says that it was purely personal. If Miz keeps suggesting otherwise, she’ll either leave or Miz will get slapped.
That brings out the second guest: Rusev, who slowly limps to the ring. Rusev is here as a broken man and blames it on his upbringing. He didn’t know what he had until it was gone and he knows Lana loves that song. Rusev asks for one more chance and would like her to be his crutch while he can’t walk. Lana tells him where he can stick his crutch so Rusev erupts all over again and calls her stupid. Cue Ziggler to get Lana out before things get bad. Rusev as the crushed ex-boyfriend is perhaps the worst usage of someone with potential that WWE has had in years and it’s just sad at this point.
Roman Reigns vs. Sheamus
This could be good. Sheamus goes right to the ribs to start and knees Reigns to the floor, only to eat a big clothesline. Sheamus keeps the power game going by driving him into the apron and throwing him over the announcers’ table as we take a break. Back with Sheamus driving knees into the ribs and slapping on a chinlock. The Regal Roll gets two but Roman fights out of the ten forearms. Roman misses the apron kick (has he ever done that before?) and Sheamus takes over again, only to miss a charge into the post.
Back up and Roman fires off some clotheslines in the middle of the ring and in the corner but the Samoan drop is countered. They head outside again and this time the apron kick connects with Sheamus standing on the floor. Back in and here are Kane and the Stooges for a distraction, setting up the Irish Curse for two. The Brogue Kick misses and Reigns hits the Superman Punch, only to have Kane come in for the DQ at 10:40.
Rating: B-. I liked this as much as I expected to with both guys hitting each other over and over until we got to the obvious ending. It’s getting really tiring to see Kane and the Stooges come in for the DQ or interference, especially when they barely have anything to do with the match in the first place. Fun power match here though.
Kane chokeslams Sheamus to shock the Stooges. He announces himself as the final entrant in the Money in the Bank ladder match and chokeslams Reigns to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. This show was one of the more entertaining episodes they’ve had in a good while as they let the stories progress naturally instead of forcing everything in. The wrestling was decent enough and the two hours went by very quickly. I can live with Smackdown like this, especially with such a good opening promo instead of the Authority droning on and on.
Results
Prime Time Players b. Ascension and Lucha Dragons – Pumphandle powerslam to Viktor
Ryback b. Stardust – Shell Shock
Kevin Owens b. Zack Ryder – Pop Up Powerbomb
Neville b. Kofi Kingston – Rollup
Roman Reigns b. Sheamus via DQ when Kane interfered
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And the card is STACKED. This might be better than Payback.
* Lucha Dragons vs. Los Matadores
* Divas Title Match: Nikki Bella vs. Paige vs. Naomi
* Tag Team Title Match: New Day vs. Tyson Kidd & Cesaro (this may have to be changed due to Tyson Kidd’s injury)
* Chris Jericho vs. Neville
* Brock Lesnar vs. Kofi Kingston
* John Cena & Dolph Ziggler vs. Kane & King Barrett
* NXT Title Match: Champion Kevin Owens vs. Fin Balor
This should rock, though I wouldn’t be surprised if they changed Lesnar’s opponent to Jericho.
On top of that, how awesome is the Network? WWE can just throw this kind of thing on there as a special with no clearance or anything like that. They’re doing it because they can and we get a cool show. That’s so awesome.
Checked it out today and while I won’t go through it step by step, there was one thing that caught my attention.Near the end where Austin and Heyman teased a match against Lesnar next year at Wrestlemania (no I don’t think it’s happening but there’s always a chance), Austin turned into the Rattlesnake in the blink of an eye. That sort of thing always amazes me as they just morph into a character like it’s nothing. Foley is great at this sort of thing too and it goes along with what you hear old timers talk about: you’re not playing a character. You ARE that character. It’s a very different way of portraying someone and the old way is almost always the most effective.
Monday Night Raw
Date: June 1, 2015
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Booker T.
We had some interesting developments last night at Elimination Chamber with Kevin Owens pinning John Cena completely clean in the middle of the ring and Dean Ambrose winning the match by DQ but leaving with Seth Rollins’ World Title anyway. There are now two weeks left before Money in the Bank, and we already know six of the competitors in the ladder match. Let’s get to it.
The opening recap only focuses on the World Title match.
Here’s the full Authority to open things up. Stephanie asks the fans how they should punish Dean Ambrose for what he did last night. Maybe it should be a fine or a suspension, but maybe they should just get rid of him altogether. HHH calls Ambrose out to the ring but gets Roman Reigns instead. Roman says Dean isn’t here tonight and he might not be back again unless he gets one more match against Rollins. He wants one more match for the title and he wants it to be a ladder match.
Reigns lists off all the people that have beaten Rollins and says he might be the worst WWE Champion of all time. That’s too far for Seth and the rematch is on for Monday in the Bank. He’ll do it all by himself too because he doesn’t need the Authority. Rollins storms off and Stephanie goes beast mode on Reigns (hide your balls!) until HHH calls her off. HHH brings up Reigns being in the Money in the Bank ladder match and says Roman has to earn his spot in the match right now.
Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: King Barrett vs. Roman Reigns
They want to take the spot away from Reigns and this is the best they can do? Wait, wouldn’t the Authority have selected the people in the match in the first place? Reigns is already in the match but the spot is on the line. Barrett tries a rollup to start but Roman takes him down with a headlock. The King escapes a Samoan drop and throws Reigns to the apron, only to get kicked in the chest a few times. Back in and a clothesline puts Barrett on the floor but Barrett jumps over the steps and whips Reigns into them as we take a break.
We come back with Barrett holding a chinlock before he avoids a charge in the corner and kicks Reigns in the ribs. Barrett cranks on both arms with a knee in Roman’s back before switching back to the regular chinlock. Roman fights up again and Reigns nails a Samoan drop before winning a slugout. Against a former bare knuckle fighter of course. Winds of Change gets two for the King but the Bull Hammer is countered into a rollup into a sitout powerbomb for two. The second attempt at a Bull Hammer misses and Reigns nails the spear for the pin at 14:10.
Rating: C. Well at least it wasn’t Big Show. This is another example of having a match with a stipulation that is there for no reason other than to fill in time before the obvious ending. I’m not a fan of this kind of TV show more often than not (and yes there are exceptions) and seeing Barrett lose didn’t help things. The match wasn’t bad though as Barrett can wrestle a good one, even though there’s no reason to believe his push is going to last.
Post break Roman Reigns runs into the Authority and is told he has to win another qualifying match against Mark Henry. So it’s the Chris Jericho Intercontinental Title story from 2000, also involving Stephanie.
Nikki Bella is honored to be the longest reigning champion in WWE today when Paige comes in and asks for a one on one match for some point in the future. Nikki says let’s do it tonight and Paige is game.
Here’s the new Intercontinental Champion Ryback with something to say. No one likes an emotional Big Guy, (I did. The speech he gave about his injury was the best stuff he’s ever done) but he’s honored to be the new Intercontinental Champion. That’s enough talking though so it’s time for his first title defense.
Intercontinental Title: Ryback vs. Miz
We even get big match intros. The bell is about to ring…..and Big Show is back. Well at least it’s in the midcard. He KO’s Miz and says if anyone is beating Ryback for that title, it’s going to be him. Ryback calls himself the Big Guy but he has nothing on the Big Show.
Here’s Kevin Owens for his victory speech. An interesting note here: Owens has complained about Cena having so many shirts and is now in his third different shirt in three appearances on the main roster. That’s a very nice touch. Owens brags about doing everything he ever says he’s going to do, whether it’s winning the NXT Title, taking out Sami Zayn, or beating John Cena in the middle of the ring.
Last night he talked to his wife who was proud of him but his son is still a big John Cena fan. Cena is portrayed as a living superhero and while Owens was traveling the world for ten years, Cena became the hero to his son that Owens should have been. He became Super Cena. Well last night, he beat Super Cena and now the words hustle, loyalty and respect are being uttered by a shell of a man. Owens is going to beat him again in two weeks and he’s going to make sure that his son watches every minute of it. A real role model is the kind of person who promises something and then delivers, just like he does.
Cue Cena for the big showdown. Cena gets right to the point: he got beat last night. Until Owens ran his mouth, Cena was about to come down here and hand Owens the US Title because he earned it last night. But now, Owens doesn’t deserve either the US or NXT Title. Owens is so worried about being a role model that he doesn’t even realize he’s not a real man.
According to Owens, his son is a Cena fan because of the WWE machine. If that’s the case, Owens’ son would be wearing a Funkasaurus shirt and want to grow up to play in the XFL. We hit Serious Cena mode as he talks about how the fans believe in him because he’s for real, including the kid in the crowd holding up a sign saying “I’m beating cancer” and wearing a John Cena t-shirt. Cena: “You keep fighting man. And that’s from me.”
The three words that define Owens shouldn’t be Fight Owens Fight, but Never Give Up. Cena wants to give Owens a bit of advice from a man to a non-man. In two weeks, Owens is going to have to explain why a really good wrestler got beaten up by a man. Owens teases a fight but walks away. That’s one of the best promos I’ve seen in years. Go find this and watch it in full.
New Day comes out to brag about their win. Xavier Woods says this city now has champions they should be proud of, because the Spurs are old and Tim Duncan needs to retire. The New Day is on fire and in two weeks, Kofi is going to become Mr. Money in the Bank. CHA-CHING! Kofi: “That’s a cash register!” Big E. says it would mean they’re all Mr. Money in the Bank because NEW DAY ROCKS!
Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler
No exaggeration: these two have fought close to thirty times on TV alone. Lana is out with Dolph and that’s exactly who the fans want. They grapple to start until Kofi does his double leapfrog and stops Dolph with a kick to the face. We hit the chinlock on Dolph but he fights up and hits a quick neckbreaker. Dolph misses the superkick but grabs the running DDT for two, followed by a quick rollup for the pin on Kofi at 3:16.
Rating: C. What can I say? These two have fought each other such a ridiculous amount of times (I can’t imagine any pairing has fought more times, and yes that includes Cena vs. Edge) that there’s almost nothing left for them to do out there. They kept this short enough though and it was fine enough to help build to the ladder match.
New Day comes in but the Prime Time Players make the save.
Prime Time Players/Dolph Ziggler vs. New Day
Joined in progress after a break with Young hitting a seated senton on Kofi but getting tripped by Woods, allowing Big E. to hit a belly to belly. Off to Kofi who is sent into the corner for a seated dropkick before it’s off to the chinlock. The actual trio triple teams Darren and Big E. knocks Dolph off the apron for good measure.
E. takes too long running the ropes though and splashes Young’s knees, setting up the hot tag to Titus. A powerslam gets two on Woods with Big E. making the save as everything breaks down. Titus boots Woods in the face and Dolph adds a superkick to Kofi, setting up a pumphandle powerslam to pin Woods at 5:36.
Rating: C+. Just a six man here to set up the Players as the next challengers and there’s nothing wrong with that. We’ve covered Tyson/Cesaro as the challengers so it’s time to advance on to someone else, as the tag division….well there actually is one at the moment. This did what it was supposed to and that’s all you can ask it to do.
Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Mark Henry vs. Roman Reigns
Wasn’t Henry a face last night? These turns are getting slower. Again, Reigns is already in but has to defend his spot here. Roman pounds away to start but Henry takes him over to the ropes for some choking. Reigns seems to be having issues with his left eye after Henry gave him a big right hand. That’s fine with Roman as he comes back with some clotheslines in the corner and a shoulder to put Henry down. A Samoan drop sends Mark outside and Roman nails a Superman Punch for good measure, giving him the countout win at 3:46.
Rating: D+. Power brawl here with Reigns’ story being very clear tonight. Henry is one of those guys that is only there for one purpose and it doesn’t mean he’s the most interesting guy in the world to watch. At least they aren’t hiding the fact that Reigns isn’t done tonight and that’s a fine story.
Post match Henry gives him the World’s Strongest Slam and a big splash.
After a break, Reigns, Authority, Bray Wyatt is next.
Various wrestlers audition to be the face of Sonic Shakes. Hilarity ensues.
Divas Title: Paige vs. Nikki Bella
Nikki is defending and they cut away during her entrance because WWE doesn’t get why she’s out there. Paige gets shoved into the ropes to start and Nikki does some jumping jacks. Off to some pushups before Nikki drives Paige into the corner. Nikki cranks on both arms before hooking a leg lock of all things.
Paige gets to the ropes and kicks Nikki to the floor, allowing her to do some situps. The PTO is countered and Nikki gets two off the Alabama Slam. The Rack Attack is countered and Nikki goes to the middle rope, only to get pulled down with a Rampaige. Nikki rolls outside and they actually bust out Twin Magic with Brie coming out from under the ring for a small package to retain at 5:48 because WWE referees are stupid.
Rating: C-. Well they turned face with no explanation so why not turn heel again with no explanation? I love how they did a whole Total Divas episode about how they don’t look the same and now the Bella with lighter skin, less plastic enhancement and difference hair is still a dead ringer for her sister. Only in WWE because the script says so. Nikki doing exercises isn’t a bad gimmick though.
Sheamus vs. Randy Orton
So yeah Orton is back after not being mentioned for two weeks. Orton grabs a headlock to start and rolls Sheamus up for two, sending the pale one out to the floor. Back in and they slug it out before both guys go outside with Orton dropping him back first on the announcers’ table.
We take a break and come back with Sheamus in control and dropping a middle rope knee for two. A chinlock doesn’t get him very far though as Orton belly to backs him down to escape. The ten forearms are countered and Orton nails the powerslam, followed by the elevated DDT. An RKO attempt is countered and Sheamus knees him out to the floor. Orton throws him into the timekeeper’s area but Sheamus nails him with a chair for the DQ at 12:16.
Rating: D+. Gah I hate these matches where they just pair up people who are in a big match down the line. It’s the same stuff that got annoying last week with the Elimination Chamber people and it doesn’t help that Sheamus and Orton do not have good matches together. They’re not horrible but I’ve never seen these two do anything interesting.
Sheamus Brogue Kicks Orton and throws him over the announcers’ table post match.
Rusev says he is a broken man with a broken spirit but he’ll get it all back. Yo Rusev! Get in here so we can keep ruining you because we want monsters to be three dimensional characters or some garbage like that!
Kevin Owens will have an NXT Open Challenge this Thursday on Smackdown.
Here’s Bo Dallas to say he tried to help Neville but now he just wants to hurt him.
Bo Dallas vs. Neville
Rematch from last night where Neville won. Bo hammers him in the corner to start and throws him out to the floor. Back in and we hit the cravate with Bo yelling at Neville and then quieting down to call some spots. Neville fights up with some forearms, a kick to the head and the Red Arrow for the pin at 3:09.
Rating: C-. Yeah whatever man. Just get on to the next match so we can finally end this show. This was a shortened version of the match we saw last night and Dallas is ready to move on to something else. At least it wasn’t Neville against someone in the ladder match to freshen things up a bit.
Tough Enough videos.
Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Roman Reigns vs. Bray Wyatt
For the third time, Reigns is already in. Roman slugs away to start but Bray runs him down and slows the pace. The Authority comes out to watch as Bray stops a comeback with the running cross body. Roman bails for a minute but Bray takes his head off with a clothesline as we take a break. Back with Bray still in control until Reigns explodes out of the corner with a clothesline.
After a quick trip to the floor with Reigns sending him into the barricade, Bray comes back with a big clothesline of his own for two. They trade slaps until the Samoan drop puts Bray down. The Superman Punch connects and here come Kane and the Stooges. Kane gets up on the apron but the distraction into Sister Abigail doesn’t work as Bray is sent into Kane, setting up the spear for the pin at 13:14.
Rating: C. Nice power brawl again but did they really need to have Bray take the loss here? I hate to say it, but this was the perfect spot for Kane. Wyatt won at Payback, then lost to Ambrose last week and now to Reigns here and for what? To advance a main event feud when the Authority has minions? As usual, this company refuses to think anything through.
Post match the Authority surrounds the ring but Ambrose comes out (to a MONSTER pop). He actually gives Rollins the title back, only to hit him with Dirty Deeds before leaving with Reigns to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. The show was far better than last week but this was one of those episodes where the show felt like it was going on for nine hours. It just kept going and going and you could see they had nothing to go on so they were just throwing stuff out there. This is a show that would have been really entertaining if you cut out an hour. Stuff like Ziggler vs. Kofi, the Divas Title (with that STUPID ending), Neville vs. Dallas and maybe even Orton vs. Sheamus could have easily been cut to get us down to a much shorter and better paced show, but such are the perils of three hours every Monday. Not horrible, but insufferable.
Results
Roman Reigns b. King Barrett – Spear
Dolph Ziggler b. Kofi Kingston – Rollup
Dolph Ziggler/Prime Time Players b. New Day – Pumphandle powerslam to Woods
Roman b. Mark Henry via countout
Nikki Bella b. Paige – Brie Bella switched with Nikki and pinned Paige with a small package
Randy Orton b. Sheamus via DQ – Sheamus hit Orton with a chair
Neville b. Bo Dallas – Red Arrow
Roman Reigns b. Bray Wyatt – Spear
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at: