Elimination Chamber 2015
Date: May 29, 2015
Location: American Bank Center, Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T., Jerry Lawler

It’s another pay per view just two weeks after Payback but the card has been put together fairly well this time. The main event this time is WWE World Champion Seth Rollins defending against Dean Ambrose, plus the Tag Team Titles and Intercontinental Title being decided inside the Chamber, both for the first time ever. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Zack Ryder vs. Stardust

Bonus match. Ryder had a decent match against Cena on Monday so it’s nice to see him get a PPV spot, even if it’s something like this. Stardust hits some shoulders to start but Zack punches him to the floor for a quick baseball slide. Back in and the announcers talk about the World Title match as Stardust cranks on the arm. That goes nowhere so let’s talk about Love Boat.

Ryder fights back up as the announcers transition into a discussion of Arrow’s Stephen Amell wanting to fight Stardust at some point. JBL promises us a new move from Stardust called the Queen’s Crossbow (Arrow reference), which winds up being Cross Rhodes and it puts Ryder out at 5:53.

Rating: D. Well so much for Ryder. He had a nice little comeback and the fans liked him, but we need to keep Stardust strong for a match with a celebrity which is probably coming at Summerslam. Nothing match here and that’s the problem with pre-show matches. Ryder could be very good in a midcard role but this is what we’re stuck with instead. Joy indeed.

It’s time for MizTV with special guest Daniel Bryan. We look at Bryan vacating the title and Miz said that was hard even for him. In his time away, Bryan has written a book but his career isn’t over. Miz thinks he can help Bryan with marketing and merchandising and it’s only going to cost him 10% of the profit.

Bryan passes but promises he’ll be back. Miz wants to slap him in the face but knows he can’t so he has some advice for Bryan…..which we don’t hear as Bryan thinks it’s going to be boring. Therefore, he’s brought someone who also thinks Miz is boring: Axelmania and Macho Mandow. House is quickly cleaned and the good guys celebrate. Nothing to see here as it was just a big commercial for Bryan’s book.

The opening video sets up both Chamber matches with a focus on the structure itself. Owens vs. Cena gets some hype as well.

Tag Team Titles: Lucha Dragons vs. Ascension vs. Los Matadores vs. Prime Time Players vs. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd vs. New Day

Inside the Elimination Chamber, no tags required, New Day is defending, all three champions will be allowed in and we have four minute intervals. Two teams start and one more enters every minute. As the name suggests, it’s elimination rules and the last team standing wins the titles. Lucha Dragons and Ascension get things going (these teams can never escape each other) with the Dragons hammering on the power guys as fast as they can but Ascension starts slugging Cara down in the corner.

Sin escapes and throws Kalisto up onto the New Day pod but they try to pull him down inside. Cara gets slammed down but Kalisto kicks both Ascension members down, allowing Sin Cara to get up and hit a HUGE Swanton off a pod to crush Viktor. Kalisto loads up a dive of his own but New Day pulls him down to break it up, giving us New Day doing the LUCHA dance. Cesaro and Kidd are in next and Cesaro starts busting out the European uppercuts, including Tyson launching Konnor into Swiss Death for two.

Kalisto is still on top of the pod until Cesaro superplexes him down and Kidd adds a springboard elbow drop for two with Cara having to dive in for a save. Only Kidd and Cesaro are on their feet and Kidd slaps the Sharpshooter on Viktor but Konnor breaks it up. The La Mistica mat slam plants Konnor as Lawler calls JBL JR by mistake. Cara powerbombs Kidd as Kalisto is on top of the Prime Time Players’ pod.

Los Matadores, with Torito on top of their pod, are in third with the bull hitting a good looking hurricanrana on Konnor. During the entrance, Kalisto has climbed to the top of the Chamber itself and drops down onto everyone for one of the biggest crashes (or at least the highest) I’ve ever seen.

Torito gets thrown into Fernando, setting up the Fall of Man on Diego for the first elimination. Did anyone buy Los Matadores as a real threat anyway? Kalisto, thankfully able to walk, climbs the corner but gets pulled down as well for another Fall of Man to get rid of the Dragons. There goes my pick of course. So we have Ascension vs. Kidd/Cesaro at the moment but the Prime Time Players are added….with Ascension nailing them as soon as their pod opens.

Titus fights back and throws both guys into the ring so Young can hit his gutbuster on Viktor for a quick elimination. Things settle down a bit with Titus suplexing Young onto both guys for two, but Cesaro pops up and drills O’Neal with a clothesline. Cesaro loads Young up for a gutwrench superplex but Titus adds a powerbomb to make it a Tower of Doom for two. New Day comes in to complete the field but Cesaro and Kidd are all over them with a triple suplex.

Things get smart in a hurry as Cesaro and Kidd throw Woods into the pod and shut the door to even things up. The Swing into the dropkick knocks Kofi silly but Young sneaks in to roll Cesaro up for the elimination. It’s the Prime Time Players vs. New Day for the titles and Big E. gets Woods out of the pod to make it 3-2. New Day stomps Titus against the chamber wall and get his head through the chain.

Young fights back and sends Big E shoulder first into the pod with his head hitting the pod for good measure. Everyone is down but Titus frees himself and starts throwing Big E. into the wall. Xavier gets the same treatment and the gutbuster takes out Kofi for two. Big E. is back up and suplexes Darren on the cage floor, only to walk into a powerslam from Titus. Not that it matters though as Trouble in Paradise sets up a triple pin to retain the titles at 19:34.

Rating: B. This was a lot of fun and the best choice they had on the card for an opener. New Day winning will be worth it for the victory promo alone and the more I think about it, the more I like the booking. Any team can say they haven’t gotten a fair shot at them since it was 3-2 so this doesn’t close all the doors for challengers. I love this protecting the losers booking they’ve had lately and it helps so much in places like this.

Rusev is out of the Chamber with a broken foot. No replacement has been announced yet.

Ziggler is getting ready when Lana comes up. Tonight isn’t about showing Rusev up but about getting the title around Ziggler’s waist. Dolph says that after he wins the title, maybe it can be about them.

Divas Title: Nikki Bella vs. Naomi vs. Paige

No one is allowed at ringside. Nikki is defending after Paige won a battle royal a few months back but was laid out by Naomi. The champ is quickly taken to the floor and thrown into the announcers’ table, leaving Paige to hit her clotheslines on Naomi. Nikki is quickly back in with a facebuster for two on Paige. The Alabama Slam plants Paige again but Naomi rolls Nikki up for two.

Naomi starts cleaning house and loads Paige up for a belly to back superplex, only to have Nikki come in for a Tower of Doom. The Rack Attack to Paige is broken up with a Rear View for a near fall with Paige making the save. Naomi heads to the corner but gets caught in an electric chair from Paige, only to be countered into a reverse hurricanrana. It didn’t go smoothly but it could have been a lot worse. Not that it matters as Nikki Rack Attacks Naomi to retain at 6:05.

Rating: C. What was I thinking to question Nikki’s title reign of awesomeness that is TOTALLY better than Trish and Lita’s reigns combined? The match was fairly good but again, there’s only so much you can do other than cram in spots with just six minutes. I have no idea where they can go next with Nikki aside from another Brie feud or facing an NXT callup.

We recap Kevin Owens vs. John Cena. Owens answered a Cena open challenge a few weeks back but said he already had the prize he wanted in the NXT Title. He got in a surprise powerbomb on Cena and stepped on the US Title to show how big of a jerk he was. This set up a showdown tonight in a champion vs. champion match.

Kevin Owens vs. John Cena

Alright WWE. This is your chance. You can elevate someone or go with the same old stuff. Owens is very fired up to be in there and actually doesn’t drop to the floor at the bell as is his custom in NXT. A quick shoulder puts Owens down but he takes Cena into the corner and puts a boot in his face. Cena gets punched to the apron so Kevin can rip at his face like a villain should.

The fans chant for NXT and we hit the chinlock. Cena powers up into an AA attempt but Owens calmly escapes and hits a DDT for two. Owens opts to just punch Cena in the face (I love it when people do that) for a bit before a backsplash connects for two more. Back up and Kevin tries a swinging Rock Bottom but Cena counters into a crucifix, only to have Owens slam him down in a kind of Samoan drop for another near fall. The Cannonball gets the same and Owens says it’s time for Johnny boy to give up.

The pop up powerbomb is countered with a leapfrog and Cena initiates his finishing sequence. Cena loads up the AA but gets countered into the pop up powerbomb for a close two, stunning Owens. Kevin gets crotches on top but headbutts Cena down, only to miss a moonsault of all things. The AA gets two (take a shot!) and both guys are down. Owens nails a superkick and tries his own Five Knuckle Shuffle (because he’s that awesome) but Cena pulls him down into the STF.

Cena tries to pull him back to the middle but Owens kicks him away and hits an AA of his own (good one too) for another near fall. Both guys are down again and it’s Cena up first for the two off the top rope Fameasser. Cole calls that patented, but I’m not sure Cena ever filed that paperwork. Back up again and Owens loads up the package piledriver (his pre-WWE finisher) but slams Cena to the side instead of dropping him on his head.

Kevin starts talking more trash before winning a slugout, only to get caught in the springboard Stunner for two. Frustration is setting in so Cena takes him up top for a superplex, only to have Owens counter into a spinning superplex of his own for two. Owens runs to the top for a Swanton for two more and now Kevin is frustrated. Cena nails that big running clothesline and Owens is rocked. John goes for another but walks into the pop up powerbomb for the completely clean pin at 20:03.

Rating: A. My jaw dropped on the pin. This is EXACTLY the way they should have gone as Cena hit him with the best and Owens pinned him in the middle of the ring. The key thing here is Cena isn’t going to lose a thing out of this as he’ll be fine in about two minutes. Owens on the other hand looks like the biggest new deal in years and couldn’t get a bigger rub if they tried. Great, great stuff here and I loved the booking so much.

Owens says he debuted on Raw a few weeks back and started a fight, but tonight he finished it. He has some veteran advice for Cena: it’s time for him to go because his time is way up and THE CHAMP IS HERE!

Pre-show panel chat.

Bo Dallas vs. Neville

Neville has a bad knee coming in, partially thanks to Dallas. The knee is fine enough for Neville to do his flips out of the corner before sending Bo to the floor to avoid a Red Arrow attempt. That’s fine with Neville as he hits a huge moonsault to the floor. Back in and Neville puts on a chinlock (rare sight for a good guy) but Bo gets to the ropes (“LET ME GO!”). He offers peace but starts elbowing Neville in the face and gets two off a running forearm.

Off to a cravate on Neville to slow things way down as the announcers talk about football from the 1960s. Back up and Bo elbows him in the head, only to be sent out to the floor. Bo’s stunned look is great. Neville comes back with kicks to the head and a running forearm, followed by a standing shooting star for two. The Bodog is countered and the Red Arrow connects for the pin at 9:07.

Rating: C-. Nothing great here as it was basically a long TV match. Neville winning was the right call as Bo can be back off another cheesy promo, but Neville gets a nice push with a win he should have gotten. The knee didn’t go anywhere, but at least there was a story coming into the match.

Reigns and Ambrose are in the back when HHH comes in and bans Reigns from ringside. If Reigns interferes, Ambrose will be disqualified. You mean like in any match?

The Chamber is lowered.

Intercontinental Title: Sheamus vs. Ryback vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. King Barrett vs. R-Truth vs. ???

The title is vacant coming in due to Daniel Bryan vacating it due to injury. There are four minute intervals again and Rusev’s replacement is……Mark Henry. Bray Wyatt had been rumored but I like this better as Wyatt isn’t likely winning so why give him another loss? Ziggler and Barrett get things going. They trade rollups to start but Barrett shrugs him down and puts Dolph on the top rope for a kick to the ribs.

We hit a chinlock on Dolph for a bit before he realizes this is the freaking Elimination Chamber and fights back with his dropkick and neckbreaker for two. Barrett sends him into the cage and talks a lot of trash until R-Truth is in third. The King is smart enough to jump Truth before he can get out of the pod and stomps him down. He kicks Truth and Ziggler in the face to keep control but Truth gets back up for the spinning forearm and ax kick.

Barrett rolls away from the cover but Ziggler is back up with a kick to the face for two. Back up and Barrett drives Ziggler through a pod wall, freeing Mark Henry to come in before his entrance. There’s nothing the referee can do because it’s no disqualification, and likely because the show is threatening to run long and they need to save some time. Ryback comes in a few seconds later and runs Henry over for two. Henry stands around as Barrett plants Ziggler with Wasteland, only to break it up at two like the schmuck that he is.

Back up and the parade of finishers eliminates Barrett first because OF COURSE IT DOES! The four in the ring pair off with Ryback stomping Ziggler into the corner and Henry doing the same to Truth. Sheamus is supposed to be in last but the door won’t open. Ryback, Truth and Ziggler trade rollups as they try to fix the door before Henry gets triple teamed. Shell Shock gets rid of Truth and a very delayed suplex plants Ziggler.

Ryback’s Meat Hook is countered by a superkick and all three are down. With all three down, Sheamus takes out the Celtic cross that he had put in the door to keep the door stuck shut. Well that was smart. A Brogue Kick gets rid of Henry in a hurry and we’re down to three. Ziggler counters a suplex into a small package for two but Sheamus counters the running DDT. The second attempt gets two but a quick Brogue Kick gets us down to Sheamus vs. Ryback.

They trade powerslams with Ryback getting the better of it and driving shoulders to the ribs in the corner. The Meat Hook doesn’t work and Sheamus tries to get back in his pod. Ryback picks him up before he can get in, only to have Sheamus counter into White Noise on the cage floor for two. The ten forearms are countered but Sheamus hits the Regal Roll on the cage again. A Brogue Kick is countered into a powerbomb into the ring and Shell Shock gives Ryback his first title at 25:06.

Rating: C+. Well that was a surprise. I didn’t like the action as well as I liked the first one but it was still a fun match. They’ve set up Ryback as never having won a title so this was a good way to pay that story off. Ryback has been pushed pretty strong since returning (ignore the loss at Payback) and this was the right call for a step up.

Daniel Bryan congratulates Ryback and presents him with his new title.

We look at Owens pinning Cena earlier tonight. The rematch is official for Money in the Bank.

Dolph Ziggler, Neville, Roman Reigns, Randy Orton, Kofi Kingston and Sheamus are official for the Money in the Bank ladder match. More will be announced later.

We recap Ambrose vs. Rollins. The theme is that Ambrose made a bad decision by trusting Rollins in the Shield but tonight no one can help him, including his mommy and daddy.

WWE World Title: Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose

Dean is challenging but has to deal with Kane and the Stooges at ringside. Rollins grabs a headlock to start but Dean counters into an armbar. Back up and the champ stomps away in the corner until Dean goes back to the arm to take over again. Dean drapes him over the middle rope for a Fameasser but the Stooges offer a distraction so Seth can crotch him into the Tree of Woe.

A huge top rope double stomps gets two on the challenger and Rollins takes over. We hit the chinlock for a bit followed by a clothesline to put Dean back down. Dean comes back with a sitout Tesshocker (belly to back suplex but he slams Rollins face first instead of dropping him back) for two. The Stooges pull Rollins to the floor but Dean dives through the ropes to take everyone out. Back in and Rollins tries to counter a superplex into a sunset bomb, only to have Dean nail a Cactus Clothesline to put both guys outside again.

More Stooges interference lets Rollins take over again and the top rope knee (really a shin) to the head gets two. Dean finally comes back with a tornado DDT (second person tonight to use that) and the running dropkick against the ropes. A clothesline turns Rollins inside out for two more and the flying standing elbow gets the same.

The Rebound clothesline is countered by a clothesline from the champ and a suicide dive puts Dean down again. Back in and the buckle bomb is countered with a clothesline (we get it) out of the corner but Dean opts to dive on Kane and the Stooges. The referee gets bumped and Dean nails Dirty Deeds, drawing in another official for the pin at 21:48. Lawler: “This may start a new Attitude Era.” Oh shut up.

Rating: C. I don’t buy for a second that this is going to stand so I’m not going to bother treating this very seriously. This felt like a long Raw match instead of something worth watching, and the ending is clearly there to set up a rematch at Money in the Bank. The match was decent but it had the recurring problem of all WWE pay per views: you don’t bother caring about the meat of the match because you’re just waiting on the wacky finish.

And of course it doesn’t count because the first referee says the Stooges pulled him to the floor for a DQ. Dean gets beaten down but Reigns comes down the ramp for a surprise and beats everyone up. Dean and Roman leave with the belt to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I liked the show for the most part but this could have been put in a different order to make things flow better. Swapping the Chamber matches would have helped a lot and having Owens vs. Cena later in the card would have been a good move. Still though, for a thrown together show to get people to watch for free and then hope they forget to cancel in the next hour so you get some bonus buys is a decent enough idea. Owens vs. Cena II doesn’t need to happen but you know it’s going to and will likely set up a big showdown at Battleground. Good enough show but mostly nothing worth seeing again.

Results

New Day b. Prime Time Players, Ascension, Los Matadores, Lucha Dragons and Tyson Kidd/Cesaro – Trouble in Paradise to O’Neal

Nikki Bella b. Paige and Naomi – Rack Attack to Naomi

Kevin Owens b. John Cena – Pop up powerbomb

Neville b. Bo Dallas – Red Arrow

Ryback b. Mark Henry, King Barrett, Dolph Ziggler, R-Truth and Sheamus – Shell Shock to Sheamus

Dean Ambrose b. Seth Rollins via DQ when Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XOUNBEA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Elimination Chamber spoiler.Kevin Owens pinned John Cena 100% clean in a match of the year candidate.  The future is here.

Oh boy it’s this show. I’ve been putting this off for as long as I can because this show drove me up the walls, down the walls, to the grocery store and then halfway to Oklahoma. It’s very rare to find a show with two different parts that get under my skin this badly but this show managed to pull it off. Let’s get to it.

I’m going to do this one a little bit differently as there are two major pieces I’ll be spending far more of my time on. Therefore, I’ll get those out of the way and then cover the rest of the show. You can probably guess what these two major segments were (hint: I wrote a column about one of them) so we’ll start with the one that went on longer: the Dean Ambrose arrest story.

The basic idea is simple: Ambrose has until the end of the show to sign the contract for the match with Rollins on Sunday (why the Authority didn’t say “you have four seconds to get out here and sign this starting now” isn’t clear) so the Authority ran some trickerations and had Dean arrested for punching an innocent cameraman. Later in the show, it was revealed that Rollins shoved the cameraman into Dean so he wouldn’t make it back to the show in time. Naturally, with the Authority celebrating at the end of the show, Dean came back (in a police van) and signed the contract just as the show ended (complete with overrun of course).

Now let’s stop for a minute and think about this. Monday Night Raw is a wrestling show. We have to accept that a lot of really, really questionable things happen, but WWE has built a universe where it’s plausible that these things could happen. In other words, fans are willing to suspend their disbelief to accept that we’re watching crazy people do crazy things because the show has made it possible for that to happen.

Look at it from a comic book perspective. I can believe that Superman can fly because he’s an alien under a yellow sun. Those are the rules that DC comics have established and as long as they play by those rules, I can go along with them. However, if one day Superman can suddenly turn people into chickens and the justification is “well he’s an alien and has powers”, it’s unacceptable because this comes out of left field and doesn’t gel with the story of the character.

This past Monday with Dean just happening to make it out of jail on time and just happening to be there at the very end of the show to sign the contract was WWE suddenly being able to turn people into chickens. There were WAY too many coincidences and perfect timing for me to accept that this was going to be the case. It didn’t help that they were basically saying “yeah you know he’s getting back and signing” and it was just a matter of time before the big evidence showed up to save Dean.

I said this in the review but it felt like the end of any given sitcom episode. Our hero is in big trouble for doing whatever and he can’t prove his innocence, but here’s some deus ex machina to save him and give us all a happy ending while the villains are left kicking and screaming and promising to get Ambrose next time Gadget, NEXT TIME!

The word to sum it up was staged. This felt like it was designed to be completely fake and set up the whole way through instead of trying to be realistic. Look at Lucha Underground for a counter example. They have some completely over the top stories (including a man who was the spirit of a dragon and a monster killing a wrestler) but they play it totally seriously and it never fails to work. This story felt like WWE was winking at the camera the entire time and making it as clear as they could that Ambrose was going to be there at the last second to save the day, making the entire three hour story a big waste of time.

That’s the other big deal for me: what did this whole thing change? Ambrose came into the show with a title shot and left with a title shot. All that happened in between was the Authority looks bad and Rollins doesn’t really do anything else. Instead of a serious promo exchange or making me want to see the match more, the show was a big stand alone story that changed nothing and got on my nerves. It’s bad writing and bad booking and something that really didn’t need to happen.

Now on to the other stupid idea of the night: Rusev turning into a big, emotional goon instead of the brute that he’s been for over a year now. I understand the idea that he would be upset over Lana leaving him for an American, but the reaction was all wrong. Rusev should have been stomping and raving and FIGHTING ZIGGLER but instead he was asking to hold Lana’s hand and talking about all the dreams they had in Bulgaria.

As I ranted about in the column I wrote (which I know you’ve all read of course), this was missing the point of the character. Rusev is a monster and they’re trying to give him emotions. It’s all wrong for him and doesn’t fit anything that they’ve set up over the past year plus for him. It goes back to the Superman example earlier: you can’t just throw in a polar opposite set of characteristics for someone without any sort of foundation for them. Rusev getting all emotional has no background, Lana or no Lana.

Oh and now Rusev is injured and could be out for more than a month, so the last thing people are going to remember from him is the big change scene with the song from the trailer from every bad romantic comedy ever. What a great followup to the four pay per view series with Cena. But hey, at least Rusev is a more three dimensional character, because a guy named the Bulgarian Brute was just dying for a soft side right?

As for the rest of the show, Ambrose pinned Rollins in a tag match, which should have ended the show and been the main focal point of their feud that night. I’ll stop myself there.

Rusev squashed R-Truth in 59 seconds. Again, I’ll stop myself there.

The other major story of the night was a trio of matches between the six participants in the Elimination Chamber match for the Intercontinental Title. In addition to Truth vs. Rusev, we had Ryback beating Barrett (shocking!) and Sheamus Brogue Kicking Ziggler. This is another example of tired booking ideas that need to be replaced. Only Sheamus vs. Ziggler broke four minutes, making these matches, which really change nothing for Sunday’s match, more like a waste of time than anything else. Consolidate these into a long six man instead of three singles or have a tag match or two three ways or ANYTHING but this boring idea.

The cast of Entourage was here to fill in time, including a segment where they mentioned Ronda Rousey in front of Stephanie. That’s something of note was well: notice that a lot of the bad writing and bad structuring take place when Stephanie is back full time. We had a bunch of bad filler segments and more of her talking with proper nouns (you don’t have to say the exact name of the title, wrestlers or pay per view every ten seconds Stephanie. We’re not going to care more or start Tweeting about it because WE’RE ALREADY WATCHING THE SHOW).

Neville beat Stardust (who had a pre match staredown with Stephen Amell of Arrow, allegedly setting up a showdown at Summerslam. Seriously. To his credit though, Amell is in great shape so it could be passable) and was beaten down by Bo Dallas post match. They’re still playing up the knee injury which is fine for a quick story.

Cena’s Open Challenge speech was talking about the fans who boo him and want someone to knock him down for good. Kevin Owens has his chance on Sunday but it’s not going to happen. As usual, this was Cena owning the fans as only he can and chuckling as they think they own him.

Zack Ryder answered the challenge and had a very fun four minute match (complete with Ryder missing a 450 of all things) before Cena pinned him. This was the right call as Ryder is a Long Island guy and this was the last show in Nassau Coliseum on Long Island, which was played up a lot during the match. As usual, this was the best part of the show as Cena continues to be amazing when they just let him go out there and do his thing. Post match Owens, now in more proper gear, laid Cena out again. They better not screw this up on Sunday, but I’m sure they will.

Tamina, the bodyguard for one of the challengers for the Divas Title on Sunday, pinned the other challenger for the Divas Title on Sunday. The stupidity was flowing through this entire show.

To cap it off, let’s throw all psychology out the window and have Kane (for no apparent reason) book New Day in a 3 on 11 handicap match, because the way to get heels booed is to put them against impossible odds. This lasted less than a minute before the big brawl.

Do I need to sum this one up for you?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XOUNBEA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: May 28, 2015
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Jerry Lawler

I’ve been saying this too often lately but it’s the go home show for a pay per view. The big stories going into this Sunday are the two Elimination Chamber matches as well as the World Title match between champion Seth Rollins and challenger Dean Ambrose. They haven’t really had time to put together a great story so I’m assuming tonight is going to have some hard selling. Or some lame matches that keep everything where it was coming out of Raw. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Dean Ambrose to recap the arrest angle from Raw that magically ended right before the show went off the air because that’s how wrestling works these days and the words “TUNE IN NEXT WEEK TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED!” are all four letters long now. Ambrose was sitting in his cell and thought he had one person to call: Roman Reigns. He asked Reigns to buy him some time so he could figure out a way out of the cell.

The help he needed came from WWE’s Youtube channel because it was clear that Rollins shoved the cameraman into him. That was more than enough to clear his name and since he’s been in a lot of metropolitan jails in this country, it only took some pictures and autographs to get a police escort to back to the arena on time. Tonight there’s a rematch of Raw’s tag match, but this Sunday there’s going to be a fight for the finest prize in this industry. Stupid story on Monday aside, this was a good promo that got to the point for Sunday.

Tyson Kidd/Cesaro vs. Lucha Dragons

The other four teams in the Chamber match are lumberjacks. Cara and Kidd get things going with Tyson bouncing off the ropes (upside down that is) to counter a wristlock into an armdrag to send Cara to the floor. Cesaro comes in off a blind tag for a European uppercut into a German suplex from his partner followed by a half crab to slow Sin down. That goes about as far as a half crab can go so it’s off to Kalisto, who is launched into the air for a hurricanrana, sending Cesaro outside.

Back in and Kalisto tries a springboard cross body, only to be caught in a vertical suplex. Cesaro doesn’t put him down though as he walks Kalisto around the ring, tags Kidd in and points to him for about ten seconds as Kidd goes up top for a cross body. The announcers completely undersell this freakish display of strength but it was amazing to see. Sin is quickly tagged in to throw Kidd outside for a but Los Matadores throw him back in without doing anything.

Tyson tries a monkey flip but Kalisto dives through Kidd’s legs, lands on his hands and backflips into a headscissors of his own. Dang this guy is good. We take a break and come back with Kalisto fighting out of Cesaro’s chinlock but being thrown to the floor. The Players don’t get in any cheap shots before throwing him back in for a double tag to Kidd and Cara. Tyson makes a blind tag and tosses Sin into the corner for the running European uppercuts. Cara comes back with the La Mistica mat slam for two and Kalisto’s corkscrew crossbody gets the same.

That’s enough flipping for Cesaro as he just muscles Kalisto over with something like a belly to belly, setting up Kidd’s springboard elbow for two more. Kalisto kicks Kidd in the head but Cesaro slides in with a headbutt for the save. That looked cool as he just slid in and let his head hit Kalisto.

Kidd reverses a hurricanrana into the Sharpshooter but Cara springboards in with a clothesline to break it up. Everything breaks down and Cesaro superkicks Kalisto, only to be backdropped onto a bunch of the lumberjacks. With his partner down, Kidd is distracted by Woods, setting up the Salida Del Sol to give Kalisto the pin at 13:19.

Rating: B+. I might be rating this a bit higher than some would but I had a blast watching this. Kalisto and Cara are so good as a high flying pair and maybe the best at that style since the Hardys. On the other hand you have Cesaro who is so freakishly strong it’s unreal. The only issue here were the lumberjacks as they didn’t really need to be there, but they hardly dragged the match down. Anyway this was a really, really fun match with both teams busting out some crazy spots. Check this out if you get the chance.

Rollins runs his mouth to Kane about Ambrose, prompting Noble to go into a story about his aunt hearing voices and being crazy, but her cobbler was good. The looks from everyone in the room are rather amusing. Kane is looking forward to having fun in the tag match tonight and promises a plan to make sure Rollins has nothing to worry about on Sunday.

R-Truth vs. King Barrett

Barrett kicks him right in the face to start and slugs Truth in the face for two. We’re already in the chinlock before Barrett’s kick to the ribs in the corner gets two more. Back up and Truth ducks the Bull Hammer and hits Little Jimmy for the completely clean pin at 2:26. Such is the life for someone like Barrett. I know the line is that no one remembers individual wins and losses (which I don’t agree with for the most part) but they certainly do remember loss after loss after loss after loss.

Sheamus comes out and Brogue Kicks both guys.

We recap Lana and Rusev’s big spat from Monday. The less said about this the better.

Lana seems sad about having to leave Rusev but she’s happier with Dolph. Rusev comes up and says he doesn’t need to throw another fit because he’s already had his way with Ziggler. Whatever Lana and Dolph do, it doesn’t bother him. If Ziggler has to suffer because of Lana, so be it. This was much better from Rusev as he was more condescending than pitiful.

Rusev vs. Ryback

Well, it’s a few months later but at least we get to see it. Ryback grabs a waistlock to start but Rusev counters into a headlock. The Bulgarian’s shoulders have no effect so Ryback lifts him up for a delayed vertical suplex for two. Ryback pounds on him with some forearms but a big clothesline changes control. Rusev slowly kicks Ryback around the ring but he gets distracted by a WE WANT LANA chant. There’s a decent story in there if they can find a better way of presenting it.

A backdrop sends Rusev to the floor (probably where he injured his leg) but he’s still able to hit the fallaway slam as we go to a break. Back with Rusev limping around before putting on a chinlock. They slug it out and Rusev hobbles from rope to rope. He can put very little weight on it and falls down when trying to slide out of a powerslam. Rusev posts him a few times and that’s a DQ at 11:56, which was probably going home quickly due to the injury.

Rating: C-. It’s hard to grade this one as the injury clearly changed where the match was going. The rumor is that if Rusev can’t go then he’ll be replaced by Bray Wyatt, which is probably the best possible option. The injury didn’t seem to be Ryback’s fault but it happened so fast that it was hard to tell. Not a bad power match until the injury but they didn’t have time to go very far with it.

Quick recap of Paige vs. Naomi.

Paige vs. Naomi

Naomi throws some leg kicks to start so Paige shoves her into the corner for forearms to the jaw. Some knees to the chest send Naomi to the floor, because THIS IS MY HOUSE! From the floor, Naomi sends the arm into the post and starts working over the arm in the corner. Ignore the fact that it’s not the arm she sent into the post but at least she’s trying. Paige comes back with some clotheslines and a kick to Tamina before catching a cross body in midair and countering it into the Rampaige for the pin at 3:12.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but the time didn’t let them go anywhere. That’s the problem with so many of the Divas’ stories: they’re supposed to tell full stories in about a third of the amount of time that their male counterparts receive. That being said, there’s only so much time you can give to them when the division’s top heel can’t remember right from left.

The Bellas come to the stage to pose.

Tough Enough package.

Michael Cole brings Kevin Owens to the ring for a chat. Owens cuts Cole off when he says that Kevin has been in WWE for two years because he’s been around the world for fifteen years. Now he can be on the WWE Network for just $9.99. He knows Cena’s numbers: fifteen World Titles, two Royal Rumble, fifty seven different t-shirt designs and over a thousand ways to suck.

Cole asks about Cena saying Owens has to finish the fight on Sunday so Owens shows us a clip of him destroying Sami Zayn at Takeover last week. If he’ll do that to his best friend, what will he do to John Cena? Just watch Sunday and you’ll see it first hand. After you do that, you’ll see that the champ is here.

Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns vs. Kane/Seth Rollins

Rematch from Raw. Ambrose passes by Owens on his way to the ring and doesn’t pay him a bit of attention. Rollins gets in a cheap shot on Reigns to start, allowing Kane to get the early advantage. Seth quickly comes in and stomps Roman down in the corner where he sits on his chest for an odd choice of offense. It’s back to Kane who gets suplexed down for the tag to Ambrose as we’re still in the first minute.

Reigns and Ambrose chases them to the floor and we take a break. Back with Rollins tagging in Kane to keep Ambrose in trouble. We hit the nerve hold on Ambrose for a bit before Kane pulls him off the middle rope for a big crash. Dean gets beaten down in the corner even more and Rollins hits a running back elbow for two. Back to the reverse chinlock for a bit until Dean fights back and takes out the Stooges, only to have to break up a Rollins superplex attempt.

A tornado DDT plants Kane and that’s enough for the hot tag to Reigns. Kane blocks a Superman Punch like he always blocks a Superman Punch, but Dean takes him down with the standing top rope elbow. A rollup by Rollins is countered into a powerbomb but Seth slips out, only to eat the Superman Punch, drawing in the Stooges for the DQ at 12:03.

Rating: C-. There was nothing to talk about here because I saw almost this exact same match with a different ending on Monday. I’m not a fan of having these rematches so soon as this is exactly what happens: what are they supposed to do that they didn’t do on Monday other than how the match ends? Not bad or anything but really dull.

Ambrose and Reigns clean house until the New Day of all people come out to beat on Ambrose, only to have Reigns hit his big over the top rope dive to take everyone out. Woods eats Dirty Deeds and Kofi gets Superman Punched out of the air. Kane and Rollins get back in though and Rollins Pedigrees Ambrose to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Not a bad go home show but as usual, there’s not much to see here other than a really good tag match to start things off. However, with that great match comes a headache inducing R-Truth win over King Barrett. I was sold on the Chamber from the minute the matches were announced though so this was really just padding with a good match included.

Results

Lucha Dragons b. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd – Salida Del Sol to Kidd

R-Truth b. King Barrett – Little Jimmy

Ryback b. Rusev via DQ when Rusev sent Ryback into the post

Paige b. Naomi – Rampaige

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose b. Kane/Seth Rollins via DQ when Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XOUNBEA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

So there’s a new report out saying that the creative team loves the idea of having just two weeks between pay per views because it makes it easier for them to come up with and write their stories.  If this is true……just dang.Have we really reached the point where a FOUR WEEK BUILD to a pay per view is too much to ask?  It’s so hard to come up with a month’s worth of stories?  Are you kidding me?  It’s freaking professional wrestling.  Let the people in the feud go out there and talk, have matches against someone else, have a staredown with the person they’re fighting against, talk some more, and then have the match.  Now apparently it’s set the match up Monday, have a quick build the following Monday, then WE MUST HAVE THE MATCH NOW BECAUSE WE DON’T KNOW HOW TO KEEP PEOPLE INTERESTED ANY LONGER THAN THAT!

Take Wyatt vs. Ryback for example.  Here’s a simple, more than two week build.

Week 1: Wyatt speaks cryptically about his next target.

Week 2: Wyatt keeps talking, Ryback says he doesn’t know what’s next for him.

Week 3: Wyatt attacks Ryback.

Week 4: Wyatt laughs a lot and says that’s just the beginning.  Ryback says he’s got someone ready for him and he can’t wait to get his hands on Wyatt for what he did.

Week 5: Ryback has a match with say, Rowan, to get a taste of what he’s got coming against Wyatt.  After the match, Wyatt appears and laughs.

Week 6: Wyatt wins a squash and talks about how he defeated a little guy (say one of Los Matadores so we don’t have to sit through him squashing R-Truth for the 94th time) but now he wants the Big Guy.

Pay per view match.

You have five hours of original, top level television a week, plus the Network and WWE.com to build up a story but you can’t go more than two weeks before you think your fans will get bored?  Maybe the problem is you put together boring stories that don’t have a shelf life, but there’s zero excuse for not being able to entertain wrestling fans for four weeks.

This report made me shake my head, but it tells you so, so much about the state of wrestling today.

This is actually from the latest Steve Austin Show and it almost made me cheer for him while I was listening.In a discussion of always facing the hard camera, here’s what he said (paraphrased):

“If I do a move or a spot and one of the 6-8 cameras they have around the ring doesn’t pick it up, that’s on them.  I’m busy trying to put on an entertaining match and it might not make sense to turn to the camera.”

The other day I was watching Hogan vs. Warrior at Wrestlemania VI and Hogan puts Warrior in a chinlock with his back to the camera.  A camera on the floor went around and got a good shot of the hold and nothing changed.  Back then, the match was considered a classic and one of Hogan’s best ever.  Today, he’d probably be lectured about how to properly work a match and how there is ONE AND ONLY ONE way to get over, because all that jazz Hogan did just isn’t the same as looking at a specific camera and saying whatever catchphrase is on a t-shirt that month.

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 25, 2015
Location: Nassau Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T., John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s Memorial Day and also the last Raw before Elimination Chamber. The two Chamber matches are set and we also have the World Title match ready to go, leaving just the details to be added to the matches to make things fully ready. There’s also the issue of Owens powerbombing Cena last week and standing on his US Title. Let’s get to it.

We open with the traditional salute to the veterans who have passed away serving their country. In the arena, we have a moment of silence and a ten bell salute. WWE always does a great job with these things.

Here’s the Authority in full to open things up. After a look at the ending to last week’s show, Seth talks about Ambrose coercing the Authority into giving him a title at Elimination Chamber last week. That’s not how the Authority operates because it’s not best for business. Therefore, couldn’t the Authority just take away the title match or fire Ambrose right now? Well they could and they considered it, but Rollins asked them not to.

HHH has a contract ready for Ambrose to sign so here’s Dean to the stage. Dean thinks there might be something wrong with him because he’s been having trouble sleeping lately. He’s tried counting sheep but he would rather count the times he punches Rollins in the face. It’s the closest thing to happiness he can have and that’s what he got last week. He always enjoys beating Seth up, but next time he wants it to be for the World Title.

Once he becomes the new face of the WWE, there are going to be some changes. The Stooges can go barefoot like some respectable hobbits and Kane can just wear a collar like the lapdog that he is. That leaves Rollins to drunk dial Selena Gomez like the Justin Bieber that he is.

Rollins shrugs off the Justin Bieber chants by actually defending him, saying the fans all want to be Bieber, just like Ambrose wants to be like Seth. He talks about Ambrose being a loser all his life and asks him to sign so he can lose one more time. Really good back and forth segment here with the Authority just being in the background while it happened. Ambrose comes to the ring but here’s Reigns to have his back. Stephanie gets on the mic and says Dean can sign the contract until the end of the show, but until then, it’s Reigns/Ambrose vs. Rollins/Kane right now.

Seth Rollins/Kane vs. Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns

Kane slugs Ambrose in the corner to start but Dean punches and chops up against the ropes. Off to Reigns who takes Kane down with a suplex before Rollins comes in to do the same to Ambrose. It’s quickly back to Reigns for a Samoan drop on Seth but he goes outside to chase the Stooges off, only to get caught in a chinlock back inside. A lukewarm tag brings in Ambrose for shots in the corner and a clothesline to put Seth outside, setting up the suicide dive. The good guys stand tall and we take a break.

Back with Rollins stopping a Dean comeback and getting some nice applause from the Stooges. A big time clothesline puts Rollins down and the hot tag brings in Reigns. Roman cleans house for a bit until a Kane boot puts him down. That earns him a Superman Punch and the top rope elbow from Dean for two with Rollins making the save. The springboard knee to the head gets two for Seth (that looked good) but an enziguri knocks Dean into the ropes, only to have him bounce back and grab a backslide to pin Rollins at 13:25.

Rating: C-. The wrestling was fine but it was really hard to care about this one. It’s almost the same match we’ve seen a dozen times with one or two pieces being changed without anything really changing. Ambrose getting the pin is the right idea for this match to set up Sunday, but these tag matches are almost impossible to get up for these days.

After a break, Ambrose says he’ll get the contract signed later in the night. The Stooges come up and say they have the contract but Mercury forgot it. Noble: “Well slap me upside my head and call me Sally!” Always the gentleman, Ambrose does just that and beats up the two of them before punching a cameraman by mistake. Dean looks upset by what he did to the innocent guy.

Video package on Kevin Owens’ career.

The cast of the movie Entourage arrives and don’t get much of a reaction.

Rusev vs. R-Truth

Rusev is officially Bulgarian again. Truth gets in a few shots but the Accolade wraps things up in 59 seconds.

Post match Rusev says he and Lana need to talk so please get down here. He stays in the ring waiting for her through a break asking her to come out and talk to him. Come on man. At least have a giant boom box. Lana finally comes out but won’t let Rusev hold the ropes open for her. Rusev knows she cares about him, even with all the mistakes she’s made and that he makes sure to list off.

It’s not her fault though. She’s a woman, and all women make mistakes. He talks about the dreams they had back in Bulgaria and asks her to take his hand….which she eventually does. Rusev wants to hear three magical words though: “I was wrong.” That’s too much for Lana though as she shoves his hand away and leaves, saying Rusev quit. Rusev: “YOU NEED TO KNOW YOUR PLACE WOMAN!” Lana calls him a liar and a quitter. No one earns her, especially Rusev. She leaves yet again and here’s Ziggler for another kiss.

So yeah, remember the last year plus of Rusev being a monster who beat Cena by knockout at Fast Lane? Well screw all that because we need to put him in a stupid soap opera style story because EVERYONE is a character like that who needs to have depth and emotions and all that nonsense.

HHH and Rollins come into Ambrose’s locker room and have the cameraman say that Ambrose hit him, despite thinking someone pushed him. Dean is arrested (“Yeah I’ve heard this before.”) and HHH smiles.

Post break the Stooges laugh at Ambrose as he’s taken away.

King Barrett vs. Ryback

Ryback still has bad ribs coming in. Barrett is thrown around to start and planted with an early powerslam but he rolls outside. Ryback follows but takes a hard kick to the ribs to give the King control. Back in and some kicks to the ribs followed by a middle rope elbow get two. Wasteland gets the same as Barrett wisely stays on the ribs. The Bull Hammer takes too long to set up though, allowing Ryback to hit a spinebuster and the Shell Shock for the pin at 3:56.

Rating: D+. So Barrett just spent the entire match working on the ribs and then Ryback hit his power moves like he was perfectly fine. Nothing to see here other than yet ANOTHER Barrett loss, which just keep coming and coming and coming. This was another match designed to set up the Chamber but with no time to get there because we need more stupid soap opera nonsense.

The cast of Entourage comes in to see the Authority and name drop people cameoing in their movie. They bring up Rhonda Rousey making Stephanie scream at Wrestlemania and are politely asked to leave.

Tough Enough videos.

Stardust vs. Neville

Stephen Amell of Arrow is in the front row. Neville vs. Bo Dallas is official for Sunday. Stardust goes after the bad knee to start as the announcers talk about Stardust and Amell feuding on Twitter. As Stardust puts on a half crab, Bo Dallas slowly walks to the ring to cheer for Neville. Stardust can’t hit a superplex as Neville kicks him down and nails a tornado DDT, setting up the Red Arrow (after some slaps to the bad knee to wake it up again) for the pin at 3:19.

Rating: C-. The match was nothing special, but this is the kind of match I like: a guy with a pay per view match having a bit of a sweat before beating a guy with a nice resume. We don’t get these nearly enough. It sets up the match on Sunday and keeps Neville from having to waste a big match. Good booking but not a great match.

Post match Dallas tells him to Bolieve and kicks the knee out again.

The Entourage guys hit on the Total Divas, creating a massive vortex of indifference. Zack Ryder comes up and asks them to come into his dressing room because he has an idea.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus

Cole incorrectly says the Intercontinental Title is the only title Sheamus has never held (Tag Team Titles being the other). Sheamus runs him over to start as the announcers talk about Lana and Rusev. We’re already in the chinlock with Sheamus talking a lot of trash at the same time. They head outside with Dolph ramming him into the announcers’ table, only to get kicked in the knee back inside.

A Cactus clothesline puts both guys on the floor but Sheamus powerslams him outside, drawing Lana to the stage to watch. Back from a break with Sheamus getting two off a neckbreaker but Ziggler fights up with a bunch of forearms. The Fameasser gets two and Ziggler escapes White Noise and ducks the Brogue Kick. Ziggler’s superkick gets two and here comes Rusev to the ring for a distraction, allowing Sheamus to hit the Brogue Kick for the pin at 10:20.

Rating: C. And we’re DONE with the Intercontinental Title preview matches. This is one of those ideas where WWE does one match and then just MUST do the exact same idea three times in one show with no one looking good coming out of it because none of this matters for Sunday. Decent match but my goodness this show has killed my interest.

Rusev puts on the Accolade to make Ziggler look at Lana. “KISS HIM NOW!”

It’s Open Challenge time. Fans: “JOHN CENA SUCKS!” Cena to the camera: “I guess the remix is still a popular song.” Cena says in the last ten years, the WWE Universe can be summed up in five words: “Let’s go Cena, Cena sucks.” He thanks the fans who believe in hustle, loyalty and respect but has to stop for a WE WANT RYDER chant. Those people have had his back for years and he thanks them from the bottom of his heart.

That brings him to the other group of fans, who have been begging for someone to get in this ring and knock him down. Name after name have tried to do just that but all of them have failed. Last week he met Kevin Owens, who broke the internet last week and then broke his best friend Sami Zayn in half.

Maybe that’s why the fans think Kevin Owens is the man that can put Cena down for good. This Sunday those fans that chant CENA SUCKS can instead chant FIGHT OWENS FIGHT. Owens can fight all he wants because it doesn’t mean WIN OWENS WIN. Last week Cena found out that Owens knows how to start a fight and this Sunday he’ll find out if Owens can finish one. That’s Sunday though, so let’s get to tonight. The Open Challenge starts right now.

Cena is ready and here’s the cast of Entourage. Cole: “Really?” Thankfully they’re just here to introduce the man taking the challenge.

US Title: John Cena vs. Zack Ryder

The Entourage cast is at ringside. Some early suplexes get two for Cena to start but Ryder comes back with the middle rope dropkick. Cena avoids the Broski Boot and starts his finishing sequence, only to have one of the Entourage guys get in for a distraction. A quick rollup gets two on Cena but Ryder counters the AA into a Killswitch for two. Now the Broski Boot gets two and the Rough Ryder gets the same. Zack goes up top but misses a 450 of all things, setting up the AA for the pin at 4:05.

Rating: C+. At the end of the day, it would have been cool to see Ryder get the big win to close out the building but you can’t do something like that to Cena here. Ryder looked good here and hopefully gets some more TV time out of a good performance like this. The 450 wasn’t half bad either.

Cena, Ryder and the Entourage guys get to pose in the ring for a nice moment. Cena poses on his own but turns around for a Pop Up Powerbomb from Owens, now wearing a FIGHT OWENS FIGHT shirt. Owens stomps on the US Title again for good measure.

The Authority recaps the Ambrose incident.

Now the announcers recap the Ambrose incident.

Tamina vs. Paige

Bellas are on commentary. Tamina knocks her to the floor to start and slaps on a neck crank. A quick rollup gets two for Paige followed by her three clotheslines and a dropkick. Nikki gets in a quick cheap shot though and Tamina’s Samoan drop is good for the pin at 3:52.

Rating: D-. Oh sweet goodness really? This is the best thing they can do? We’re six days before the Divas title match and the #1 contender just got pinned by the enforcer in less than four minutes. I know Tamina is Jimmy Snuka’s daughter or whatever, but that doesn’t make her the slightest bit interesting. Bad match here and even dumber booking.

Here’s the New Day to say it’s preposterous and ridiculous that they’re being persecuted for being positive. No one wants to see them lose their titles! Just ask the WWE Universe! Cue Kane to say that the Chamber is fair, but the following match isn’t quite the same.

Cesaro/Tyson Kidd/Los Matadores/Lucha Dragons/Prime Time Players/Ascension vs. New Day

10-3 handicap match and joined in progress with……never mind as all ten come in for the big beatdown and the DQ at 49 seconds. Yes, the HEELS are in a big handicap match and were put there by a heel. I guess logic and the Curb Stomp can chill together on the banned list.

We get the big brawl with the Dragons diving on most of the other people at the same time. New Day stands tall, only to have Cesaro and Kidd come in and clean house.

Preview of the preview of the Daniel Bryan documentary airing on the Network tonight.

We get a second angle of Ambrose punching the camerman (from the WWE Youtube channel because of course it is) because Rollins shoved Ambrose into him. This really doesn’t change anything as Ambrose still turned around and punched him, but this show is a sitcom instead of a wrestling show.

Here’s the Authority for the big stupid ending to this stupid, stupid show. Yeah there’s a video, yeah there’s evidence saying Ambrose is innocent (he isn’t) but there’s no time. Therefore….cue Reigns before HHH can say it’s too late. The brawl is on, Reigns gets beaten down, Ambrose shows up in the police van and wearing police gear, and the big brawl allows Ambrose to sign just in time. CUE THAT LAUGH TRACK AND END THEME SONG!!!

Overall Rating: F. Yeah it failed. I was miserable watching this show as they took a huge leap backwards from all the good stuff they had been doing in the last few weeks. Instead of the fun matches and high energy, this was ALL about the backstage stuff and in ring segments with the Authority being on screen WAY too much. Look at some of the things they were doing out there and tell me they were segments we needed to see. The Entourage guys were on TV like four times and added nothing. They certainly weren’t bad, but have them out there once and stop showing them otherwise.

On top of that…..my goodness just make Rusev into the crying Zack Ryder when Eve left him. No it won’t be that bad, but my goodness man, what in the world is the point of this stupid love triangle story? What WWE doesn’t understand is there are some people who shouldn’t be like everybody else. Yeah Rusev is a human, but he needs to be treated like a monster. Let him just be the guy that got this far and stop trying to add dimensions to him. There are some people it’s ok to mess with, but Rusev isn’t that kind of character.

Then there’s the stupid contract signing deal, which comes off like a sitcom plot: it’s some wacky situation which JUST HAPPENS to work due to some master plan coming together, but it somehow manages to all unravel just as the show goes off the air with the Authority shouting that they’ll get you next time Ambrose, NEXT TIME!!!

I was livid sitting through this show as they just completely turned off the reality and made it into the biggest TV show schtick they could. That’s not even talking about the HORRIBLE booking choices of having three Intercontinental Title preview matches that went nowhere and barely set up the Chamber whatsoever. Horrible, horrible show here and wouldn’t you know it: it’s also the first show in a long time where Stephanie was a featured player. How about that.

Results

Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns b. Seth Rollins/Kane – Backslide to Rollins

Rusev b. R-Truth – Accolade

Ryback b. King Barrett – Shell Shock

Neville b. Stardust – Red Arrow

Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler – Brogue Kick

John Cena b. Zack Ryder – Attitude Adjustment

New Day b. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd/Los Matadores/Lucha Dragons/Ascension/Prime Time Players via DQ when all ten attacked New Day at the same time

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XOUNBEA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

We’re done with Payback and therefore it’s time to race towards the Elimination Chamber show because we must get it in before people have to start paying for the Network again. The big story here is Rollins retaining the World Title over his former Shield teammates and Orton in a good four way last night, but now everything is about getting to Elimination Chamber.

The Authority was back, complete with HHH’s slow talking and Stephanie dropping in every proper name that she could in a manner that no one uses in the real world. They don’t have much to say here (thank goodness) other than All Hail Rollins and that he’s getting a tribute later in the night.

This brought them to the Elimination Chamber, which led to interruptions from Ryback and Sheamus. Both of them are announced for the match but of course they’ll be fighting tonight too. The match was nothing out of the ordinary with Sheamus Brogue Kicking a distracted Ryback for the pin. I’m glad it’s only a two week build to the Chamber as you can only have the people in the match do these simple matches for so long before they lose their effectiveness. The match was fine and I like Sheamus winning, but I think Ryback’s push is in major trouble after back to back losses.

Kane was put in charge of the celebration tonight and didn’t seem to mind. Ambrose came in and asked for a title shot but was given a match against Bray Wyatt tonight. This was a great example of people being in the right place at the right time saying the right things to move the show forward, making it feel very unnatural.

Neville was being interviewed when Bo Dallas came out. This seems to be the next feud as Dallas isn’t cool with Neville bringing up their history in NXT. Dallas attacked Neville’s previously injured knee, allowing Barrett to take Neville down pretty easily. This wasn’t much of a match due to the time, but I’m getting worried about Neville doing the same things every time. He’s going to be over due to his high flying abilities for a long time, but some of that heat is going to wear off and he needs to have something to build himself back up. The knee injury and a feud with Dallas are a good start though and there’s no reason to panic.

Rusev yelled at Lana a lot and broke up with her. Later that night, Lana came out and kissed Ziggler. I’m not wild on pairing her with Ziggler, but I’m even less wild about how fast this turn started and wrapped up. One week she was Fandangoing and then she’s being dumped by Rusev? That’s because here in WWE, we have to get the next story set up before the pay per view because Heaven forbid we wait more than a few weeks to set something up.

Bray Wyatt beat Dean Ambrose in a match built around a ton of interference and cheating, which is the only way to have that result. This was the usual good brawl between these guys but did you really expect anything else?

Cesaro and Kidd failed to win the Tag Team Titles again after a no contest with New Day. This didn’t have the time to go anywhere and was really just a way to extend the feud yet another week as we’re getting closer and closer to Elimination Chamber, where this time FOR SURE we’re getting new champions. The feud and matches are still fun, but they’re running out of ways to have New Day survive without getting repetitive.

After the match, Ascension, the Lucha Dragons, Los Matadores and the Prime Time Players came out to confirm that it’s going to be six teams in the Chamber instead of just three. This makes for a very interesting match where it’s possible that several teams could walk out with the titles. Well other than Los Matadores or Prime Time Players of course but the other four all have at least a chance. I’m not sure who wins there and I love that feeling.

Now we get to the money part of the show: the US Open Challenge. This week’s was answered by NXT Champion Kevin Owens, who gave one of the best debut promos that I’ve ever seen, as he talked about the NXT Title being the real prize to fight for and how Cena doesn’t get to give him advice or pick the time where they fight. I’ve spent a lot of time on the podcasts on how much I loved this segment and Owens comes off like one of the best villains in a long time. He can back it up in the ring too and he’ll get to show that at Elimination Chamber. That’s a non-title match too, which a lot of people seem to be overlooking.

Dolph Ziggler beat Stardust in a very short match to set up Lana kissing him. I’m really not wild on that move but it’s what we’re stuck with for the time being, meaning Dolph is right back where he was a few years ago.

The Wyatts crushed Ryder/Fandango in a match designed to say “yo, we’re monsters.”

Nikki beat Naomi via DQ when Tamina interfered. Paige returned for the save and laid out Nikki in what wasn’t a heel turn.

The big ending segment was a long, drawn out exchange with Rollins making Kane praise him before Dean came out and threatened to put him through some cinder blocks until he was given a title shot. A bunch of brawling ensued and Rollins hit a Pedigree to stand tall to end the show.

I tried really hard to get into this one but it didn’t leave much for me to care about. The main event stuff has too many people floating around it right now. You have the Authority bosses, Kane, the Stooges (ok they don’t count as much) and the two guys in the match. They need to just let Ambrose and Rollins carry this instead of just putting everyone they can in there and making it a big mess all over again.

The rest of the show was an improvement over the main event with the Chamber matches both looking good and Owens vs. Cena making me all tingly. If they can keep the HHH/Stephanie involvement to a minimum, we could be looking at a very hot card at Elimination Chamber. Or we could be looking at the same lazy stuff WWE does over and over to waste their potential.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Ignoring all the in ring action and all the characters and match time either group gets, here’s how I know the NXT division is treated more seriously.

One is simple and effective.

The other is a butterfly.

Which of these would you think is the more serious championship and division contending for it?

We continue to marathon these pay per views and the big question here is can Payback continue to be the most unlikely good series in wrestling? The main event is a well enough built up fatal fourway with Rollins defending against Reigns, Ambrose and Orton, basically making it a Shield triple threat with Orton on the side. Let’s get to it.

I’m getting through the pre-show matches as fast as I can so I never have to think about them again. R-Truth beat Stardust in a bonus match with all the charm of a bad infection. These two have fought two or three times now and it’s gotten less and less interesting every single time. Therefore, look for them to fight again in the future.

In the other pre-show match, Ascension beat the Mega (changed from Meta for reasons of good taste) Powers in a short match. I would praise WWE for not going with the comedy act here, but I have some issues giving them credit for upgrading from a horrible move to common sense. Yeah they put Ascension over a newly formed comedy team. Am I supposed to be impressed? Finally, does anyone else feel dirty about calling them the Mega Powers?

The opener was a good back and forth match between Dolph Ziggler in Sheamus to seemingly blow off their feud. The key here was the end of the match where Ziggler headbutted Sheamus and busted himself open hardway, which caused the match to end in a hurry. Now granted they didn’t have to cut off much time as the match ran twelve minutes, but it always makes me curious to know what they were going to do otherwise.

Sheamus getting a nice win is the right idea though as he needs the push more than Ziggler. I’m pretty much over Dolph at the moment as he’s been the same guy for the better part of ever now. Yeah his matches are still good enough, but I haven’t been excited to see a Ziggler match in years now.

For reasons I don’t quite get, Kane and Rollins argued even more. On pay per view. I’m going to be really surprised if they set up a Kane face turn as that would be so far out of the realm of common sense these days for WWE. Rollins is almost going to have to turn face eventually though, as it’s the nature of being a heel in wrestling.

Now it’s time for the match people were drooling over: New Day defending the Tag Team Titles against Cesaro/Tyson Kidd in a 2/3 falls match. This had the potential to be one of the most entertaining matches in a very long time if they set it up right, but unfortunately that’s not exactly the way they went about it. Cesaro/Kidd won the first fall in less than three minutes (off a mostly botched Swing into the dropkick). This never sits well with me as the champions just got pinned in almost no time. Let the thing stretch out a bit or have them win the first fall by cheating so it doesn’t look that easy.

A bad looking Midnight Hour (with Kofi’s arm hitting Kidd’s back instead of being a DDT) tied things up in less than nine minutes total and NOW we could pick things up. This is where they get into the insanity with the hot near falls and all the good stuff…..and it was about five minutes long.

That’s where the match lost me a bit as the majority of the match was done in the first two falls instead of the really hot ending. This needed to be more of a bottom heavy match, setting up the really smart finish of having Woods pretend to be Kofi to steal the final pin. Yeah it’s borderline racist, but it was a really smart and even funny way to keep the belts on New Day. I would have liked more time here though and more offense from the challengers, but entertaining stuff all around.

Bray Wyatt and Ryback had a good power brawl built around the idea that Ryback had busted up ribs due to a backsplash off the apron from Wyatt. Granted it didn’t work as well as when Ryback hit a top rope splash and didn’t sell the ribs all that well. Either way, this was a fun enough match with Ryback going down at the end as he should have. Wyatt needed the win a lot more than Ryback did, but neither guy really needed a major loss at this point. Both guys are in need of a direction though, and that’s way too common a problem at this http://onhealthy.net/product-category/adhd/ level of the card.

Now we had the most entertaining and probably divisive match of the night as John Cena defended the US Title against Rusev in their final battle with an I Quit match. These two beat the living tar out of each other for nearly half an hour with the spots getting bigger and bigger. I had a great time here as they kept building up to the big ending, but the key was I wound up forgetting that it was an I Quit match other than the constant DO YOU QUIT. I know a lot of people have found this annoying, but I really didn’t have a big problem with it. Yeah they said it a lot, but that’s kind of the point of the match no?

This was exactly what this match should have been with both guys beating the living tar out of each other until Lana submitted for Rusev, which is likely going to trigger their split. It’s not the beat match in the world, but it was more than entertaining enough which is the right way to go with something like this. Rusev can get right back on track by beating like, anyone in a big match, so this didn’t hurt him all that bad. At the end of the day, he was destined to lose this feud, though I could have done with cutting the chain match and just going with this as the finale at Extreme Rules.

We’ll follow that up with my favorite part of the night: a quick New Day promo where they drink milk out of champagne glasses, brag about not complaining or swearing…..and of course do a spot take, complain and swear upon hearing that they’ll be defending their titles inside the Elimination Chamber. That’s the perfect moment for these three and I laughed just as much as I expected to. These guys can do no wrong at the moment and they’re a major highlight for me.

Naomi and Tamina beat the Bellas in the worst match of the night, which had some bad looking botches, bad timing and the least time of any match on the main card. This was nothing more than a way to set up Nikki vs. Naomi for the title, which really should have just been here instead of the next night on Raw but WWE doesn’t have the best logic at times anyway.

Neville beat King Barrett via countout in a good but short match. This was designed to introduce Neville’s knee injury, which seems to be his major story going forward. It doesn’t really change much about his offense, but at least they’re giving him some attention instead of just letting him be the same guy week after week until the crowd gets bored with him.

That brings us to the main event which is your standard wild brawl with all four getting in their big stuff with a bunch of near falls to tease a title change that was never coming. The big deal here was a very short Shield reunion, which blew the roof off the place for just a few moments. That’s all the validation they need to pull the trigger on a real reunion for the trio one day, as those three are going to be a force going forward.

The match itself was fun and that’s all it really needed to be. Thankfully Orton ate the pin because he’s a made man who can do whatever he wants and keep popping back up without any real damage being done to him. The ending came when Rollins Pedigreed Orton for the pin, which I’m assuming is to fuel Rollins vs. HHH down the line, but it comes off as more like Rollins screaming for his daddy’s attention. Good match, not my favorite ending though. I didn’t mind all the brawling like some have though. Rollins is a heel who cheated. Why is this some big surprise?

Overall, Payback was another big surprise as they had no reason for this to be much of anything, but it wound up being a more than entertaining show with some really solid matches in there. I don’t know if it’s due to the really low expectations or the really hard work, but for a show with nothing important going on, Payback was really fun and a great surprise.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XOUNBEA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6