The review will be delayed as I’m in England and have been awake for the better part of 35 hours.  Use this thread to discuss all the riveting stuff that happens tonight.  Like a tag match.  Playa.

NXT
Date: October 16, 2014
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Rich Brennan, Alex Riley, Renee Young

The road to whatever the next big show is called continues and apparently we’re now in the land of Titus O’Neil, who pinned Sami Zayn in last week’s main event. Adrian Neville made the save and is likely going to be Titus’ next opponent. It’s always hard to guess where things are going with NXT week to week so it’s likely something totally unrelated to last week. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Baron Corbin vs. Elias Sampson

End of Days, 18 seconds.

Here’s Sami Zayn with something to say. Last week he lost to Titus O’Neil and that’s not ok because he’s better than that. It’s time to refocus and go after the NXT Title (crowd ERUPTS for that) but Tyson Kidd has other thoughts. Tyson says it’s time to face facts and is wearing an InZayn shirt for some reason. He talks about how Sami is lying to the people because everyone knows he’s going to blow it like he always does.

Sami cuts him off at the knees by asking if Kidd has Natalya’s permission to be out here. Crowd: “YOU GOT SERVED!” Kidd laughs him off but Sami says it’s the start of his road to redemption. He’s good enough to be here and he’s good enough to beat Kidd, which he’ll prove tonight. Sami suggests to go find Breeze’s phone and call Nattie to make sure it’s ok. Kidd: “Why would Breeze have Natalya’s number?” Anyway the match is on for later.

Lucha Dragons vs. Wesley Blake/Buddy Murphy

Non-title. Murphy and Blake are now known as Team Thick. Cara backdrops Blake down and it’s off to Murphy early on. Sin tries a springboard DDT but gets muscled up into a suplex for two. Cool counter. The Thick guys take over on Cara with some power stuff, including a slam and chinlock from Murphy. Cara kicks away and makes the tag so Kalisto can clean house. Everything breaks down and Cara takes Murphy to the top for a superplex but jumps up for a victory roll and the pin at 3:21.

Rating: D+. The Dragons are a good high flying team and that’s all they need to be. I can’t imagine they’re a long term option with the belts, but the NXT Tag Team Titles have always beel dominated by big power teams instead of guys like the Dragons. Still though, they’re fine for a change of pace and this worked fine.

We see Tyler Breeze beating Mojo last week.

Rawley says he’s out for awhile because of the shoulder but it’s just taking one step back to take several forward. He tries to make this serious and intense and it just doesn’t work. The time off is a good thing for him though as he really needs to be repackaged.

Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte

Non-title. Becky takes her down with a quick armdrag and keeps Charlotte in trouble on the mat, only to charge into a backbreaker out of the corner. Charlotte puts on a figure four headlock and drives Becky’s face into the mat a few times for good measure. A double clothesline puts both girls down but it’s Lynch up first and in control. Some legdrops get two for Lynch but Charlotte comes back with a suplex for two of her own. Charlotte gets in a shot to the ribs and Natural Selection is good for the pin at 4:07.

Rating: C+. Good back and forth match here as Lynch continues to look like a star in the making. They’re playing up the idea that she has natural skills but she doesn’t have the experience to put it all together yet. It’s amazing how deep the division is with different characters, especially when you look at how generic most of the WWE Divas are.

We see Itami and Funaki getting beaten down last week.

Ascension says Itami is in for the same treatment as Funaki if he doesn’t back off.

Enzo Amore/Colin Cassady vs. Legionnaires

Cass throws Sylvester around to start and it’s off to Marcus, who goes nuts on LeFort over his bald head. We’ll call it a no contest at 30 seconds.

Carmella vs. Old Blue Pants

The fans and announcers have no idea who the jobber is so they name her after her pants. Carmella takes her down and puts on something like a Crossface with her legs for the submission at 32 seconds. I believe Blue Pants was a girl who wrestles under the name Leva Bates.

Sasha Banks and Becky argue over who is going to be the next Women’s Champion. Banks asks her what she’ll do to make it to the top.

Neville is defending against Titus O’Neil next week and is tired of all these Raw and Smackdown guys coming after his title.

Sami Zayn vs. Tyson Kidd

Sami talks a lot of trash to start before cranking on a headlock. He throws Kidd’s coat at him in the corner and you know it’s on now. Tyson tries to speed things up into a monkey flip but Zayn rolls to the side and is staring at Kidd when he gets up. Some more armdrags put Kidd on the floor and Sami teases a dive to mess with him. Kidd stalls on the floor and gets Zayn to chase him, only to jump to the apron for a kick to the face as we take a break.

Back with Kidd choking in the corner and driving an elbow into Sami’s head. A neckbreaker gets two and we hit the chinlock. Zayn fights up and nails a dropkick but misses the Helluva Kick. Instead a cross body is good for two and the Blue Thunder Bomb gets the same. Kidd comes back with a hard elbow to the face and a Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza for two of his own. The Sharpshooter goes on but Sami crawls over to the ropes. Sami suplexes him into the corner and the Helluva Kick is good for the pin at 10:30.

Rating: C+. These two are part of what is becoming the NXT version of the Smackdown Six (or four in this case). You can throw any combination of these two, Neville and Breeze out there and you’re going to have a good match. That’s a really valuable asset to have, but hopefully NXT doesn’t just let the same guys have the same matches over and over again to water down the matchups. Sami’s road to the title is clear, and man alive is that arena going to explode when he wins.

Overall Rating: C+. You can see the end for a lot of these stories, but we still have about six weeks to go to get there. This December special is going to be awesome with some long stories getting blown off and the winners that people want to see. It’s amazing how easy it is to have these stories with in depth characters but no major company seems capable of pulling it off. Good show this week as NXT is back on track.

Results

Baron Corbin b. Elias Sampson – End of Days

Lucha Dragons b. Wesley Blake/Buddy Murphy – Victory Roll to Murphy

Charlotte b. Becky Lynch – Natural Selection

Carmella b. Old Blue Pants – Leg choke

Sami Zayn b. Tyson Kidd – Helluva Kick

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NPPH0WI

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Coming off of last week, I really wasn’t looking forward to this week’s show. Things have been so boring in WWE lately and they almost have to turn around for the sake of my sanity. On the other hand, the theme this week seemed to be reality TV with Todd Chrisley of Chrisley Knows Best and some Real Housewife on the show. I’m sure this is going to go well. Let’s get to it.

We open with the now usual Ambrose and Cena showdown. This time it was Ambrose starting things off and wanting to deal with Cena so he could get to the showdown with Rollins. Cena came down and told Dean to shut up before he ran his mouth off and blew the biggest match of his life. Authority, tag match, it’s next.

The tag match was actually a three way this time with the unlikely duo fighting the Usos and the Dusts. This was a nice, long fifteen minute match that took its sweet time to get going but finally found its groove. The idea was the Authority kept waiting for the makeshift team to implode but Cena wound up AAing Goldust for the pin. This was the first in a long series of matches that got time and surprised me by how good it was. Cena and Ambrose vs. the Usos on their own for about seventeen minutes sounds good.

The Authority came out post match and made the Cena vs. Ambrose contract on a pole match for later tonight. I like this better, though I would have put it next week instead of next week. There’s no need to waste the fifteen minutes of PPV time to set the match up when you can do it here just fine. It also makes it easier to build a PPV when you have established main events.

Layla walked out on AJ Lee in a tag match but AJ pinned Alicia (partner of Paige) with a Shining Wizard. This was more of the same stuff we’ve seen for months from them.

Orton was granted his request of facing the loser of the contract match. They never said loser and called it “the other guy” but it’s a nice way making it sound better.

Orton beat Ziggler in another long match with a really good ending of Orton throwing Ziggler out of a powerbomb and into an RKO. That being said, there were other people that could have jobbed for Orton instead of Ziggler. I mean, it’s not like Kofi is doing anything is he? No it just had to be the Intercontinental Champion right? This is where WWE misusing its huge roster gets on my nerves.

Rollins came in after the match and gave Ziggler a Curb Stomp. The idea was that Rollins was trying to one up Orton, which carried into the next match where Rollins beat Jack Swagger in an easier match. Orton gave Jack an RKO for good measure. You can see Orton is about to turn face and it’s working really well.

Rusev and Big Show had their big showdown but Mark Henry ran in and caused a DQ. This is pretty clearly setting up another match at the PPV where Rusev gets his big win clean. Show knocked Rusev out cold after the match because he’s a sore loser.

The Chrisley Knows Best family was in the front row and their appearance was little more than a plug for the show. I have no interest in watching it but Chrisley came off as a nice guy who wanted to raise his kids well. I can’t make jokes about that.

Sheamus beat up Miz but lost by countout. See, now why couldn’t Orton have done that to Ziggler? Losing by countout is fine as Sheamus got carried away and distracted rather than getting pinned, even by a fluke.

The Total Divas met up with the housewife chick and Cameron had a stuck up chick off with her. Six Divas tag, you know the drill. Standard guest star appearance.

The new Wyatt video showed him alone and talking about Abigail as he kept saying it’s coming. Creepy stuff indeed but it worked.

Ambrose won the contract when Cena had to fight off the Authority in a dull match. This was what I expected it to be and didn’t really go anywhere new. Ambrose had to win it though.

Raw was FAR better this week as they cut out the stupid stuff and had a wrestling show. I know you can’t do this every week, but it’s nice to see something fresh for a change. When WWE cuts out all the goofiness and just lets the stories tell themselves, they make things way easier to sit through. It’s a good show this week and exactly what was needed after last week’s mess.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NPPH0WI

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 13, 2014
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

We had cancer week last week, so this time it’s REALITY WEEK! Tonight there are two reality stars appearing on the show with Nene Leakes of the Real Housewives of Atlanta and Todd Chrisley of Chrisley Knows Best. Why I’m supposed to care about either of these people is beyond me, but you and I both know they can’t top HODA’S CRAZY DANCE! Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Authority making Ambrose vs. Cena for the right to face Rollins inside the Cell.

Here’s Ambrose to get things going. Dean says there’s nothing he’d like more than being locked inside the Cell with Seth Rollins. To be locked inside there with all that metal and steel so he can hurt Seth Rollins so bad that he wishes he never met Ambrose. But first there’s a certain fifteen time WWE Champion to deal with and here’s Cena to respond.

Cena says Ambrose needs to relax because the match is made and it’s in two weeks in Dallas. The people want to see it though because they know both guys have a chance to get their hands on Rollins. Cena offers a little advice: shut up until the pay per view and use the two weeks to get ready for the biggest match of his career when Cena breaks him.

Dean says thanks bit brother but he was born ready. Ambrose wants to drop Cena right now but John tells him to drop it because Ambrose is in way over his head. Dean drops the mic and cracks his knuckles but here’s the Authority. Short version: the match is on the Network in two weeks, it costs $9.99, they’re in a tag match against the Usos and the Dusts. The Authority even make a bet on if they’ll fight each other or not.

Goldust/Stardust vs. Usos vs. Dean Ambrose/John Cena

Dean and Jimmy get things going with Ambrose cranking on the arm. Off to Cena to stay on the armbar as the fans aren’t pleased with John. Jimmy slips over and tags in his brother who eats a clothesline for two. Cena and Ambrose keep working well together and don’t seem to have many issues with each other.

Jey slips out of the AA and grabs a top wristlock, only to get dropkicked back down. The slow arm work continues as the fans want Stardust. Ambrose finally gets in off the tag and hammers on Jimmy with right hands and the ReBound Clothesline to send him outside. Stardust gets in a shot of his own and we take a break.

Back with Stardust raking Jimmy’s back and tagging off to his corner for a double stomp in the corner. Stardust quickly comes back in and cranks on Jimmy’s arms. Jimmy finally sends the Dusts into each other but Goldust pulls Jey off the apron just in time. Ambrose goes after Goldust but Jey is able to tag in Cena.

John cleans house but Stardust flips out of the AA. Goldust comes in with a powerslam but Goldust eats a superkick. The double dive takes out the Dusts and Cena dives on all four of them. Ambrose won’t be left out and dives on all five for an even bigger crash. He throws Cena and Goldust inside where the makeshift team hits stereo finishers for the pin at 14:50.

Rating: C+. As usual with long tag matches like this, the match got way better after the break but the first part wasn’t any good. It was a bunch of boring arm work until we got to the second half where things sped up. Cena and Ambrose diving were nice visuals as it’s not something they bust out all that often. Good match but the first half is hard to sit through.

Post match the Authority comes out so HHH can pay off the bet ($1) to Stephanie. HHH thinks Ambrose and Cena really want to get at each other, so why not just do the contract match tonight? Cena and Ambrose stare each other down and the match is official.

We look at Big Show knocking Rusev out last month.

AJ Lee/Layla vs. Paige/Alicia Fox

AJ says she doesn’t like any of the Divas but she dislikes Layla the least. They can get along for one night at least. Alicia nails AJ with a quick tilt-a-whirl backbreaker before it’s off to Paige for some skipping. AJ chases her around but it’s quickly off to Alicia to miss a boot in the corner. Layla walks out on a tag attempt so AJ hits a quick Shining Wizard to pin Alicia at 1:51.

Layla gets beaten up for good measure.

We see Big Show ripping down the Russian flag.

Orton comes in to see the Authority and says he wants the loser of Ambrose and Cena. The bosses approve.

Rowan is free video.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Randy Orton

Non-title and Cesaro is on commentary. Ziggler knocks him out to the floor to start and sends Orton face first into the steps. Back in and Orton gets two off a slam but walks into a dropkick. Orton knocks him back to the apron but gets pulled outside and sent into the barricade. They head back in again but Orton takes too long to gloat and gets dropkicked off the apron. Rollins comes out to the ramp with the briefcase for some reason and we take a break.

Back with Ziggler in a headlock and actually not fighting out immediately. A catapult sends Ziggler into the buckle for two and Orton puts him on the top rope for some headbutts. Dolph fights out of a superplex attempt but gets crotched before he can follow up. Now the superplex connects for two but Orton can barely follow up. Dolph makes his comeback with right hands and a running neckbreaker followed by an elbow drop for two.

Randy blocks a superkick and gets another two count off the snap powerslam. Ziggler counters the RKO (which was set up to a face pop), can’t hit the Fameasser and counters another RKO into the superkick for two. The Zig Zag is countered so Dolph tries the Fameasser, only to get countered into a powerbomb position. Orton throws him into the air and pulls him down into the RKO for the pin at 19:25. Rollins never was a factor.

Rating: B. That ending was awesome as Orton keeps coming up with creative ways to hit the RKO. It really seems like they’re setting up a face turn for him as he spent half the match playing to the crowd and may have been trying to outshine Rollins. It’s good stuff and I’ve always found Orton more interesting as a face than a heel. On the other hand, that’s Ziggler’s second clean loss in four days.

Post match Rollins gives Ziggler a Curb Stomp, likely setting up Ziggler’s third straight loss on Smackdown.

Seth Rollins vs. Jack Swagger

Rollins flips over Swagger’s shoulder to start and we’re already at a standoff. He misses a clothesline though and bails to the floor as we’ve barely had any contact yet. Swagger goes after Seth and gets his neck snapped across the top rope to finally get things going. Seth starts working on the arm and cranks on it a bit until Jack fights up with a clothesline. They head outside for another clothesline to Rollins but he gets in a shot of his own. Orton comes out to watch as Seth goes inside for a suicide dive to drop Swagger.

Back from a break with Rollins hitting a great looking enziguri for two and dropping some knees to the ribs. A kick to the back has Swagger in trouble but Rollins stops to yell at Orton. Seth cranks on the arm again but gets caught in a wheelbarrow suplex out of the corner for two. Swagger gets two more off the Vader Bomb before catching Rollins in the powerslam for another two count.

Jack takes out the knee and puts on the Patriot Lock, only to get rolled into the corner. Another Patriot Lock attempt is countered and the low superkick puts Jack down. The Curb Stomp is countered into another Patriot Lock but Seth makes the ropes. Seth is sent into the post but he counters a suplex into a rollup with a handful of tights for the pin at 15:05.

Rating: C+. Not a great match here but there’s only so much they can do with this concept. Rollins looked good and that’s all he was supposed to do so the match worked well enough. Swagger is the same guy he was before, which gets annoying at times but at least he has a fresh battery to absorb so many of his losses.

Orton RKOs Swagger post match and gets in Rollins face. They talk trash but no violence comes.

Ambrose says don’t expect him to be a nice guy tonight because that’s not his style. He’s bringing it to Cena and going off to get Rollins.

Big Show talks about how he’s going to fight for America tonight and how the weight of America is on his shoulders. That’s fine, because he has the biggest shoulders around.

Rusev vs. Big Show

Before the match Lana rips on America for celebrating Columbus Day and gets cheap heat off the Atlanta Braves. Rusev promises to crush Big Show and we’re ready to go. Show kicks him in the face to start and the USA chants begin. They head outside with Rusev being whipped into the barricade as it’s one sided so far. Some chops send Rusev back to the floor and Show steps on his head.

More chops (complete with the Braves’ Tomhawk Chop) start a USA chant until Rusev busts out a dropkick to stop Big Show cold. He nailed him right in the jaw too. Rusev stomps on the back and clotheslines Big Show out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Big Show slowly fighting out of a side choke but missing a middle rope elbow. Rusev puts on another choke but gets dropped by a slam. The KO Punch misses and Rusev kicks him in the ribs. The Accolade goes on and here’s Mark Henry. Mark gets knocked off the apron to break the hold but Rusev puts it right back on, drawing in Henry for the DQ at 14:09.

Rating: D+. This was slightly better than I was expecting and a minor miracle given how long it went. Big Show getting upset over this is going to be dull and it’s going to lead to Show vs. Henry yet again. Rusev hopefully gets to move on to someone other than a super heavyweight for awhile because there’s only so much more he can do against them.

Show seems to forgive Henry for what he did as the Russian flag comes down. Henry and Show surround the Russians so Rusev comes out swinging against Henry, only to get dropped by the KO Punch.

Sheamus hasn’t been feeling good since last week. The solution: two Brogue Kicks.

Ad for Chrisley Knows Best. The family is in the front row tonight and say how awesome it is to be here. They hype the new season and that’s about it. Simple and inoffensive plug for a show and nowhere near as bad as I was expecting.

Sheamus vs. The Miz

Non-title. Miz’s entrance now has the lights go out for a much better effect. Miz runs to start but decks Sheamus as they get back inside. Sheamus easily fights back and throws Miz onto Mizdow, who mimics everything Miz does, even throwing punches (albeit with the wrong arm). Miz cranks on a chinlock as the fans want Mizdow.

The pale one makes a comeback and hammers away in the corner but misses a knee in the corner. Miz kicks the knee out an dhits the short DDT for two. Sheamus knocks him out to the floor and Mizdow runs over and falls down and hold his knee right along with Miz. Both guys go under the ring and Sheamus pulls out the wrong one, giving Miz a countout win at 5:16.

Rating: D+. Mizdown is going to be another big face turn sa the fans are getting into him for how hard he’s working on this stunt double thing. Best of all, it’s something new that he’s done to revitalize his career after falling through the floor over the last year. I’m assuming Miz gets his title shot at the PPV.

The Total Divas go up to see the Real Housewife of Atlanta when the evil Total Divas show up. Cameron and the reality chick have a Diva off and that’s about it. I’m sure we’ll see more.

Nikki Bella/Cameron/Summer Rae vs. Brie Bella/Natalya/Naomi

Rosa is in the latter team’s corner and Nene Leakes comes out to join her. Natalya shoves Cameron into the corner to start as Cole recaps Total Divas from last night. The heels take over on Natalya with Nikki cranking on a front facelock. Summer misses a legdrop and Brie comes in off the ice cold tag. Everything breaks down and Brie flips out of the Rack and gets the pin off the Bella 3:41.

Rating: D. Figure this one out for yourselves. Next.

Cena gives his usual fired up promo talking about how the showdown with Ambrose is going to be violent and against the Authority’s wishes.

New Wyatt video with the Family disappearing and Bray talking about how she told him he’d never be alone. He’s going to leave a path of smoke and destruction throughout the world. He says it’s coming and smoke fills the barn as he sits in his rocking chair.

The Authority comes out to watch.

John Cena vs. Dean Ambrose

Contract on a pole and the Authority, Rollins, Orton and Kane are all at ringside. Ambrose stomps away in the corner to start but Cena easily stops his climb. Four straight suplexes drop Ambrose but he blocks Cena’s bulldog. Dean has a chance at the contract but goes outside to slug it out with Cena. He suplexes Cena on the stage but messes up his own back, allowing Cena to get down to the ring for an electric chair save.

Both finishers are countered and Cena puts on the STF. Ambrose finally figures out to bite the hand to escape and dropkicks Cena to the floor. He still doesn’t climb and launches a suicide dive instead but goes over to nail Kane for some reason. The Authority is about to fight Ambrose but Cena nails Dean and throws him into the Authority. Orton comes in and goes after Cena (no DQ remember) as everyone gets inside. Ambrose sends Rollins outside and Kane eats an AA, allowing Dan to grab the contract for the win at 6:27.

Rating: C-. This was a mess but they had to protect both guys. It’s not a terrible match or anything but it wasn’t meant to be anything more than a way to set up the two Cell matches. And yes, one of those matches is going to be Cena vs. Orton XXXIV or so. Seriously I don’t think that’s much of an exaggeration.

The two matches stare each other down to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was the opposite of last week with a HEAVY focus on wrestling and very little stupid stuff. Yeah there’s the Divas stuff with the reality chick but that was about five minutes combined. I was dreading the reality stuff all night and the show actually won me over with some long matches and good seeds being planted for future stories. Really solid show this week and a huge relief after last week’s disaster.

Results

John Cena/Dean Ambrose b. Usos and Goldust/Stardust – AA to Goldust

AJ Lee/Layla b. Alicia Fox/Paige – Shining Wizard to Fox

Randy Orton b. Dolph Ziggler – RKO

Seth Rollins b. Jack Swagger – Rollup with a handful of tights

Rusev b. Big Show via DQ when Mark Henry interfered

Miz b. Sheamus via DQ when Mark Henry interfered

Brie Bella/Naomi/Natalya b. Nikki Bella/Cameron/Summer Rae – Bella Buster to Nikki Bella

Dean Ambrose b. John Cena – Ambrose pulled down the contract

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NPPH0WI

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: October 10, 2014
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Tom Phillips

Tonight is the 15^th Anniversary Special for Smackdown, meaning we’re likely to get a lot of cameos and clips from great Smackdowns over the years. These shows are always hit or miss and could range from a really fun show to PLEASE LET IT END. The flashbacks should be fun though. Let’s get to it.

We open with a montage of great Smackdown moments. The old man taking off his face to reveal Bischoff blew my mind.

Here’s Stephanie for our first long chat of the night. She talks about the origin of the word Smackdown, saying it was made by the man who lost to her husband on the first episode of Smackdown, the Rock. Smackdown has always been about the people, so here’s BIG JOHNNY ACE! We actually get a PEOPLE POWER chant and Johnny talks about how great his era really was.

Johnny has been doing his research on the WWE Network (Stephanie: “Proof that anyone can use it.”) and has some matches to make tonight. Cue Teddy Long (with JBL doing the Teddy Dance!) who says he was Smackdown GM for six years and he’s not letting Ace take it away again. Ace cuts him off though and says he’s making a tag match with Miz/Cesaro vs. Sheamus/Swagger. Teddy would make it a six man tag with Bo Dallas and Mark Henry being added. Ace: “TEN MAN TAG! TEN MAN TAG! TEN MAN TAG!”

Johnny adds the Dusts and Usos to the mix, but Teddy says let’s make it a FIFTEEN MAN TAG MATCH! Ace says that doesn’t make sense. Teddy takes the previous ten guys and add the Mini Gator, Slater, O’Neil, Torito, Los Matadores and……TITO SANTANA? Stephanie likes the idea, even though Santana isn’t here. Apparently the Gator and Bull count as one guy between the two of them in case the math didn’t make sense. Stephanie adds a stipulation: each guy picks a team and the winning captain is named the best GM of all time. This was totally fun and the battling tag match ideas was a nice idea.

Stephanie isn’t done though as she announces John Cena and Dean Ambrose appearing on MizTV later in the night. This brings out Adam Rose and the Rosebuds to with Smackdown a Happy Birthday. He invites Stephanie onto the Exotic Express but instead she makes Rose vs. Kane next. Stephanie does her own dance and of course Teddy joins in. Even Ace dances a bit.

We get the first great Smackdown moment: the debut episode with Rock vs. HHH. So the pilot has been written off I guess.

Kane vs. Adam Rose

Kane says he isn’t a cheeseburger or Rosebud and tonight he’s going to crash the party. Rose tries to speed things up to start before grabbing a sleeper. That goes nowhere so he goes up top, only to dive into an uppercut. The chokeslam gives Rose his first loss at 1:03. That’s kind of a waste of the last six months but at least he wasn’t given any kind of a push.

Kane goes after the Exotic Express post match as they all go into the ring to check on Rose. He beats some of them up until it’s only the Bunny left. JBL is thrilled but some of the Rosebuds get back in to distract Kane so the Bunny can escape.

From June 27, 2002: John Cena answers Kurt Angle’s open challenge. Undertaker shook Cena’s hand after the match.

AJ Lee vs. Alicia Fox

Non-title. Paige is holding AJ’s title on the announcers’ table during the match. Fox scores with some kicks to start before getting two off a great looking northern lights suplex. We’re in the chinlock less than forty seconds into the match. AJ counters a backbreaker into the Black Widow for the submission at 1:22.

Paige and Fox go after AJ but she fights them off without much effort.

The next moment is a bunch of big dives and crashes, capped off by Lesnar and Big Show breaking the ring. In a nice touch, each package is introduced with a different Smackdown theme from over the years.

Seth Rollins vs. Kofi Kingston

Noble and Mercury are at ringside to watch out for Ambrose. Seth immediately stomps Kofi down in the corner to start before whipping him hard into the barricade. Kofi’s face is dropped onto the apron before he gets another beating back inside. Kingston finally gets a knee up in the corner and scores with a dropkick. Seth just hammers him again and hits the Buckle Bomb. There’s a second buckle bomb and the Curb Stomp gives Seth the pin at 3:35.

Rating: C-. In the words of Big Zeke’s theme song, this here’s what you call domination. Seth squashed Kofi here and it’s kind of sad to see Kingston having such little direction that this is all he can do anymore. There wasn’t anyone else that can take a loss like this? Granted it’s not like it’s going to be remembered in like a day though so it’s not that big of a deal.

Luke Harper release video.

Another video package on Money in the Bank cash-ins.

Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler

Non-title again. Rusev powers him into the corner to start and kicks Ziggler in the back before choking on the apron. Ziggler fights out of a chinlock but misses a Stinger Splash as we take a break. Back with Dolph hammering away but getting caught with the knees to the ribs and fall away slam. Rusev hooks a front facelock with a body scissors but Ziggler finally rolls forward to escape.

A hard shot to the face staggers Rusev and there’s a dropkick for good measure. The running DDT is blocked but Rusev misses a charge, setting up a bad looking Fameasser for one. Back up and the running superkick sets up the Accolade to make Dolph tap at 8:20. This was only a few steps above a squash save for that one flurry.

Rating: C. But I thought Rock buried Rusev on Raw and there was no way he could ever recover. Those comments still make my head hurt but that’s another story for another time. This was a big win for Rusev and they’re getting more and more common. I know the logical story was to have him go over Sheamus for the US Title, but they’re getting to the point where he needs to go into the World Title picture with wins like these. He’s not there yet, but they can’t ignore him much longer.

Post match Lana says Philadelphia being the birthplace of America explains a lot of things about this country. She brings up meeting Rock on Monday and starts ranting in Russian. Rusev takes the mic from her and says Rock will pay the consequences. He issues a challenge to Big Show for Raw.

We look at Austin vs. Booker T. in a grocery store. I loved that.

After Raw went off the air, Rock came in to see HHH and Stephanie to talk about the upcoming Smackdown special. They bring up the main event of the first Smackdown and Rock giving him a Rock Bottom the next week. HHH thinks it was Road Dogg that got beaten up because HHH kept giving Rock Pedigrees and leaving him looking up at the lights. Rock wonders what would happen if they headlined Wrestlemania one more time.

Both guys talk trash and HHH says name the time and Wrestlemania so he can turn off the electricity on Mr. electricity. They get nose to nose and Rock asks why they’re this close because it’s kind of weird. Rock: “One of us has to back up.” HHH: “Well I can’t do it. I’m the Game.” Rock: “Well I’m the People’s Champ.”

They agree to do it at the same time but neither guy moves. They finally back up and HHH again says name the time and stadium. Stephanie breaks it up and suggests they go to dinner. HHH: “How about we go to Wrestlemania?” Rock: “How about you pay the bill you cheap bastard?” HHH says Rock is cheap because he made all those #1 movies and won’t pay for dinner. This was a really funny segment but I’m not sure I want to see these guys headline a Wrestlemania. Then again, it’s not the worst idea in the world either.

The announcers get a birthday cake and it winds up on Tom’s face since he’s the rookie. It wouldn’t be Smackdown if that didn’t happen.

Booker T. comes out to do commentary on the main event.

Another clip of Austin leaving a rattlesnake in the McMahons’ office and then destroying the DX bus.

Team Teddy vs. Team Johnny

Teddy: Usos, Los Matadores, Mark Henry, Sheamus, Jack Swagger, El Torito

Johnny: Miz, Heath Slater, Titus O’Neil, Goldust, Stardust, Bo Dallas, Damien Mizdow, Mini Gator

Goldust and Fernando get things going and don’t seem all that interested in doing much for the first thirty seconds or so. Fernando finally takes Goldust over with a hurricanrana and it’s off to Stardust who is quickly sent to the floor. Everyone gets in for a staredown as we take a break. Back with Titus knocking Jey into the Johnny corner but the Usos clean house, only to have Stardust kick Jimmy out to the floor. Jimmy gets caught in the corner and takes a splash from the Gator.

The fans want Mizdow and get their wish with a right hand to Jimmy’s head. We hit a chinlock for a bit before it’s off to Titus as things slow down. Titus charges into Jimmy’s foot in the corner but Cesaro breaks up a hot tag attempt. We take another break and come back with Jimmy fighting out of Slater’s chinlock and nailing an enziguri. He backdrops Cesaro down and makes the tag off to Sheamus for very little reaction. Cesaro takes the ten forearms to the chest, just like Slater and Stardust.

Sheamus has all three of them in a row and goes down the line to hit each of them over and over. Everything breaks down and the Usos pull Slater and O’Neil to the floor for suicide dives from Los Matadores, followed by a double dive from the Usos to take out everyone. The minis go at it until Bo powerbombs Torito onto the pile on the floor.

Henry can’t hit the Slam on Dallas and gets low bridged out to the floor. There’s a Brogue Kick to Dallas but Sheamus gets swung by Cesaro until Jey superkicks Cesaro down. Mizdow gets the tag and tries the Skull Crushing Finale but gets driven into the corner. The Brogue Kick to Mizdow sets up Jimmy’s Superfly Splash for the pin at 17:48.

Rating: C+. This was nothing but fun and that’s all it was supposed to be. Was there really any doubt that Teddy was going to win this in the end? He’s the definition of the feel good character and it’s hard not to like him. The match was fine and the big dives were fun as always. Nothing great but a fun way to celebrate fifteen years.

Teddy is lifted onto the winners’ shoulders.

Roway is free video.

Time for MizTV to close the show. We recap the events from Monday before Miz announces the match at Hell in a Cell as an anything goes contract on a pole match. Ambrose and Cena come out, with Cena hugging a Make-A-Wish kid on the way to the ring. Dean says he doesn’t care who Cena is because no one crosses him. Seth Rollins tried to end his career and Ambrose wants his revenge. John wants to take that from him and no one steals from Dean Ambrose.

Cena talks about how the WWE brass is scared of Dean Ambrose because he’ll say whatever is on his mind out of a love for this business. On Monday, Ambrose showed the balls (and Cena has an actual pair of baseballs in his hand) to leave Cena laying because it gets Cena towards what he wants. To Miz: “Why are you looking at these? You don’t even know what they are.”

Cena knows that Dean is going to make him earn it at the pay per view because they’re cut from the same cloth. There’s a reason Cena can come to this ring every night for twelve years: he has a pair of these and doesn’t break his word for anyone. Ambrose better bring his a-game to Dallas because Cena likes his chances.

Miz hypes up Cena’s career and asks Ambrose is he thinks he can beat him. Ambrose: “Yep.” Dean knows he can do it and Miz keeps talking until Cena threatens to slap the glasses off his face. Cena goes to leave but Miz says that’s not how this works. The guests are supposed to fight and I think you know what’s coming. Miz gets beaten down and takes a DDT from Ambrose, only for Dean to get AA’d. Rollins smiles in the back to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. I had a good time with this show and that’s all that it needed to be. They had a good time with the Smackdown anniversary, even though they pretty much blew by the last ten years or so. The ending was a nice touch and helps set up the match even better. I like it being a contract on a pole match as it gives Ambrose a better chance to win, even though he isn’t going to pin Cena. That being said, he almost has to win inside the Cell, even though I’m not sure he will. Nice show here and that’s an upgrade for Smackdown.

Results

Kane b. Adam Rose – Chokeslam

AJ Lee b. Alicia Fox – Black Widow

Seth Rollins b. Kofi Kingston – Curb Stomp

Rusev b. Dolph Ziggler – Accolade

Team Teddy b. Team Johnny – Superfly Splash to Mizdow

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NPPH0WI

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

This week’s show was a very strange mix of comedy, cancer, hot dogs and HODA’S CRAZY DANCE. You don’t know what HODA’S CRAZY DANCE is? Well you’re in for a treat because HODA’S CRAZY DANCE involves middle aged women drinking wine, dancing, and Hoda being CRAZY. Oh yeah and there’s some other stuff. Let’s get to it.

Rollins opened the show to talk about what Cena and Ambrose did to him last week. He knows he’s a marked man and wants Ambrose to come out here right now. This brings out a charging Cena for a fight and Rollins runs into the crowd. Since this is wrestling, Ambrose is right there in the crowd waiting for him. They brawled back to ringside where Cena got his hands on Rollins again until Ambrose dove on both of them, allowing Seth to escape. The Authority came in and made Cena/Ambrose vs. Orton/Kane/Rollins. Decent but I’m getting tired of these handicaps.

We recap Big Show and Rusev. Big Show had to undergo sensitivity training, which thankfully we only heard about.

Ziggler and the Usos beat the Dusts and Cesaro. My goodness how many times do we have to sit through combinations of these matches before we get to the Cell?

John Cena was on the Today Show to talk about the breast cancer stuff.

AND NOW IT IS TIME! Kathy Lee and Hoda from the Today Show came out as Rosebuds to sit at a table and drink wine (apparently it’s a thing they do on their show). They talk about how much fun they like to have and how crazy they can get. Kathy is happy because they can be crazy here unlike on the Today Show, so Hoda does HER CRAZY DANCE! It’s just her lifting her arms in the air and dancing in a circle and the fans react as well as you would expect. They do the Adam Rose apron fall and that’s it. No breast cancer awareness talk, no interaction with anyone from Rose, nothing.

This is the kind of stupid pandering that wrestling fans get tired of. The entire segment felt like a waste of time and little more than trying to get middle aged women to watch Raw. Here’s the problem with that: yeah you might get eighteen bored housewives to watch your show for five minutes, but how many of your regular viewers do you think changed over to Monday Night Football or ANYTHING else to not have to watch this? It wasn’t funny, it wasn’t interesting, and it feels so totally out of place that it’s not worth bringing these two in.

Same Luke Harper video from last week.

Mark Henry destroyed Bo Dallas again but got counted out. Nothing to see here.

Cena and Ambrose had their big talking segment and said they didn’t want to hate each other but would go after the other if they had a reason. Cena wanted to bury the hatchet for one night but Ambrose said he was hungry and was going to Coney Island for a hot dog. These two aren’t going to have a big emotional fight, but the match should rock either way.

Ambrose got on a subway and left the arena. HHH caught up with Cena and said Rollins would have to start the match so Cena could get his hands on him at least once. HHH’s “Man, kids these days” line made me laugh.

Brie Bella beat Summer Rae with an arm tied behind her back. Again, nothing to see here.

Miz and Mizdow sucked up to Kane with a fruit basket and got a match with Sheamus as a result.

Jack Swagger beat Tyson Kidd with the Patriot Lock because Natalya wouldn’t help Kidd near the end. I have no idea where this story is going and I really don’t care.

Edge and Christian have a special after Raw on the Network but don’t have much to say about it. I need to watch that.

Roman Reigns was live via satellite to say he’ll be back soon. Again, nothing to see here.

Now we get to the bad part of the show. Like, the REALLY bad part of the show: El Torito vs. Mini Gator. This wasn’t funny, it wasn’t interesting, it didn’t have the Bunny (yeah it’s stupid, but are you telling me he’s not about a thousand times more interesting than these two?) and even the announcers ripped on it.

Rusev came out and got cut off by the Rock. I already wrote about this in detail so go here to read why this wasn’t a bad thing:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/10/09/new-column-ode-to-a-shovel/

AJ walked out on Emma, causing her to lose to Paige and Alicia Fox. Why that makes AJ more of a face isn’t really clear but I’m sure it involves MIND GAMES. They should just air parts of Michaels vs. Mankind from Mind Games whenever these segments are on.

Erick Rowan has been set free as well. The interesting part of this was a shot of a pregnant woman with the words IT’S COMING written on her stomach. I’ve heard rumors about this and I like where it could be going.

Miz beat Sheamus with a rollup, likely setting up their next feud. There were several pro-Sandow chants here which could lead to something.

Joan Lunden, another cancer fighting journalist, came out to praise cancer survivors in the audience. Yeah it’s cool, but good night do these things bring the show down.

A Real Housewife of Atlanta is going to guest star next week. Dear goodness this is going to suck.

Cena beat the Authority via DQ when they triple teamed him. Ambrose made the save with a Coney Island hot dog cart and condiments were spilled. The good guys cleaned house until HHH came out and made Cena vs. Ambrose at the PPV with the winner getting Rollins inside the Cell. I like the idea and it gives us a way around a stupid triple threat. Ambrose laid out Cena to a huge reaction to end the show.

This show was all over the place. The main event storyline is interesting but these handicap matches are getting old in a hurry. We’ve seen every possible combination of these matches and almost all of them end up in a DQ. We get the idea already and there’s nothing new that they can say with them. Thankfully there’s a match for the PPV now, but there’s still more work to do with it. Ambrose almost has to go over Cena and then Rollins if they want him to have legs though.

Then you have Rock and Rusev, which likely isn’t setting anything up but how many people has Rock ever complimented in a promo? That’s some rare air and Rock gave him a great rub. “BUT RUSEV DIDN’T CRUSH HIM!” No, he didn’t, and people thinking he should have make me shake my head.

Above all else though, we have the celebrity stuff which is what drove this show off the rails. Look, I get why WWE is doing all their cancer charity stuff and, while it’s heavy handed, at least it’s designed to raise money for a good cause (and for WWE to go “LOOK AT US! WE’RE DOING SOMETHING GOOD!”).

That being said, these speeches just bring the show to a grinding halt. They make anything after feel awkward because you have these thoughts in your head about people dying of a horrible disease and how serious it is. That makes it kind of hard to care about a 6’5 pale guy shouting FELLA you know? I get why WWE does these things and yeah they’re important, but they’re so out of place on a WWE show. The fact that they’re all over the show doesn’t help things either.

Overall Raw this week had way more bad than good, but the good stuff has me excited. Things will get better once we get to November and can drop the cancer stuff. Hopefully the celebrities go with them because having a Real Housewife and that Chrisley Knows Best guy don’t make me want to keep watching. They make me want to go write about how much I hate reality TV and miss interesting wrestling. That’s a bad thing to have your fans saying but WWE seems to like the idea. Or maybe USA does but it’s the same result.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NPPH0WI

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

At least not for now.The story going around is that Austin said on his podcast that he was training for a comeback.  I heard the episode he was talking about and it seemed like that would be a bit bigger deal than a quick throwaway line.

Well I’m currently listening to the new one and Austin said he was training for a comeback……to go to Gold’s Gym.  Yeah amazingly enough Austin didn’t announce his return to wrestling for what would probably be the main event of Wrestlemania on a podcast with a retired wrestler that most people have never heard of.  It’s almost like news outlets jump to conclusions about stories without knowing all the details yet.

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 6, 2014
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re in the big city tonight and there are some potential big names in the house. I mean I’m talking KATHY LEE GIFFORD to tell us that breast cancer is bad here people. That’s WWE’s big deal at the moment: “Look at us! We’re doing charity work!” If you didn’t know that going in, don’t worry because WWE is going to tell you once every five minutes. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Dean Ambrose giving away a bunch of shirts and sliming Seth Rollins with the Money in the Bank briefcase.

Here’s Rollins to take over the show to start. He rants about how what Ambrose did last week wasn’t funny and demands to show the real clip from last week: Ambrose being curb stomped onto the briefcase. Rollins wants Ambrose to fight right now but he gets the new Stooges instead, telling him he needs to leave. Seth knows he’s a marked man and that’s just what he wants. Instead Cena charges out and chases Rollins into the crowd.

Seth stands there shouting at Cena and of course Ambrose is right behind him. Dean chases him into the ring and Cena gets in a few shots of his own, only to have Ambrose dive on both of them, allowing Rollins to escape. HHH and Stephanie come out and say this isn’t going to happen tonight. They ask the fans if they want to see Ambrose and Cena get their hands on Rollins. The fans of course agree so it’s Ambrose/Cena vs. Rollins/Kane/Orton tonight.

We recap Big Show’s apology on Smackdown for ripping down the Russian flag. Show has been undergoing sensitivity training and will be forced to listen to the Russians’ response tonight.

Cesaro/Goldust/Stardust vs. Usos/Dolph Ziggler

Before the match we get an inset promo from the Usos, imitating the Dusts’ weird stuff. Their tag line: bros before weirdos. Before the bell, the Dusts send Jey’s shoulder into the steps, giving us roughly the 4958^th shoulder injury of the year. Stardust hammers away on Jey and the bad shoulder to start before it’s off to Goldust and then Cesaro to stay on the injury. The fans want Ziggler as Cole reads off a cryptic message from Goldust. Off to Jimmy who chops Cesaro down in the corner and hits the Running Umaga Attack. Everything breaks down and Cesaro throws Dolph into the steps as we take a break.

Back with Stardust holding Jey in an abdominal stretch before it’s off to Cesaro for Ziggler’s elbow. Jey finally escapes and makes the hot tag to Ziggler to fire up the fans. Dolph speeds things up and spins around Cesaro to grab a sleeper. Cesaro is in trouble but escapes, only to get caught by a Fameasser. Everything breaks down again and the Usos dive onto the Dusts. Back inside Cesaro nails Ziggler with an uppercut for two as Jimmy makes the save. Stardust comes in off a blind tag and gets two off a reverse DDT. A triple superkick knockd Stardust silly and the Superfly Splash from Jimmy gets the pin at 12:15.

Rating: C+. Good match here but I’m sick of seeing these combinations fight. It’s a solid choice for an opener and the triple superkick looked good. We’re getting the two title matches at Hell in a Cell, but could we have another way to build them up, or some different opponents for a change?

John Cena was on the Today Show earlier today to talk about breast cancer. Two of the hosts will be here next.

Here are Hoda and Kathy Lee (the fourth hour hosts of the Today Show) with as Rosebuds. The girls come out in Ric Flair style robes and get in the ring to sit in chairs and drink Kathy Lee champagne. They suck up to the fans a bit and Hoda does her “crazy dance”. They break bottles over each other and this is just dying. The girls fall onto the Rosebuds off the apron….very slowly. If there was ANY point to this, it went right over my head.

Luke Harper video. I believe it’s the same one from last week.

Mark Henry vs. Bo Dallas

Henry lost to Dallas twice last week and has suffered an emotional breakdown after what happened with Rusev. Mark destroys him to start as you would expect and sends him into the announcers’ table. He tosses Bo into the barricade and loads up the table, only to have Dallas escape the World’s Strongest Slam and beat the count back in for the win at 1:50.

We recap the opening segment.

Here’s Ambrose to talk about not being thrilled with having Cena as his partner again tonight. We see a clip of Cena leaving him on Smackdown and Dean says he told Cena to not give him a reason to hate him. Ambrose wants Cena out here right now to talk about this and that’s exactly what he gets.

Cena takes a few mild jabs at the Brooklyn crowd’s response before talking about Ambrose diving on him earlier in the night. He says Ambrose understands his actions and leaves, but Dean says they don’t care about each other. If there’s one thing about each other, it’s that they don’t care what others think of them.

Maybe they can get along for one night, but Dean has no problem dropping Cena right now and fighting the Authority by himself. Cena gets back in and says Ambrose tried that already and got his head driven into cinder blocks. He likes that Ambrose does what he wants, but there are consequences for that. Cena says he can drop Ambrose right here and warns Dean not to give him a reason to not like him. Ambrose responds by saying he’s hungry and is going to Coney Island to grab a hot dog before leaving.

During the break, Ambrose left and got on a subway.

HHH comes up to Cena in the back. “Man, kids these days.” He basically laughs at Cena but John says he’s ready to go and will take out the Authority tonight. HHH likes his moxie and says Rollins will have to start the match tonight.

Brie Bella vs. Summer Rae

Brie is fighting with one arm tied behind her back like Nikki had to because this feud is still going. Summer kicks her a lot to start but a Layla distraction goes bad, allowing Brie to hit a running knee to the chest for the pin at 1:55.

Miz and Mizdow give Kane a fruit basket to apologize for their harsh words last week. Mizdow mouths every word Miz says a few seconds later. Kane doesn’t buy it and makes Miz vs. Sheamus for tonight. Mizdow takes the basket back.

Jack Swagger vs. Tyson Kidd

Kidd is taken into the corner to start but flips out to escape. He heads outside and hides behind Natalya so he can kick Swagger in the face but Natalya isn’t pleased. Back in and a neckbreaker gets two on Jack before we hit the chinlock. Swagger shoves him down and hits a quick Vader Bomb before slapping on the Patriot Lock. Kidd rolls away and kicks him from the apron before telling Nattie to get out of his way. He goes up top but Swagger runs the corner and pulls Tyson down into the Patriot Lock for the submission at 3:09.

Rating: C-. This was around to set up Kidd and Nattie’s issues on Total Divas because that’s what Raw exists to do half the time anymore. At least Swagger got a clean win, despite it being in a near squash. Natalya was there more as a plot device than anything else and that’s all she needed to be here.

Edge and Christian’s Smackdown 15^th Anniversary Special That Totally Reeks of Awesomeness airs on the Network after the show. The Canadians are in the studio to say the name and the Network price and that’s about it.

Roman Reigns is live via satellite and says he’ll be back sooner rather than later. This lasted about thirty seconds.

We recap Rollins costing Cena the title at Night of Champions.

El Torito vs. Mini Gator

Gator gets down on all fours and crawls after Torito, who mounts Horny (who else did you think it was?) and wraps him up with the cape. Fans: “THIS IS STUPID!” Heath gets in to try and help but gets Gator Rolled. Torito gores Titus off the apron and hits a top rope moonsault for the pin at 2:18.

We see Big Show apologizing again.

Ziggler is defending the Intercontinental Title tomorrow night on Main Event against Bo Dallas. Raw is for Hoda’s CRAZY DANCE though.

Here are Lana and Rusev for their usual bragging about Rusev and Putin. Rusev calls Big Show down but the big man is banned from wrestling tonight. Instead…..IT’S THE ROCK! Well that woke the fans up. Fans: “Holy ****!” Rock tells the Russians to know their role and shut their mouths.

This morning he woke up and went to the gym, but he doesn’t have his shorts up to his nipples like Rusev. Then he got on a jet and went to Queens, took a cab to Miami, went to Lana’s favorite place: the meat packing district, swam across the river to Staten Island and took the train to the Bronx so he could pay respect to the Captain Derek Jeter. That left him with one more borough to go to, so he crossed a certain bridge, went down Atlantic Avenue and came up to the Barclays Center and climbed into this ring in front of the millions and millions so he can say FINALLY the Rock has come back to Brooklyn.

Lana asks who Rock thinks he is and tells him to shut up. Rock: “And you need to stop dressing like a Soviet street walker.” Rusev warns Rock to leave or face getting crushed. Rock makes fun of his breath and tells Lana she’s beautiful in person, but she looks like someone shoved a Smirnoff bottle up her Putin.

As for Rusev, it doesn’t matter what he thinks. There’s a reason no one has been able to beat Rusev: he’s bigger, stronger and faster than most people in the back. However, the fans boo the Russians because they’re jerks to everyone else. Rusev takes off his medal and the fight is on with Rock easily dispatching Rusev.

Cole tries to talk about what’s going on tonight as Rock walks around ringside celebrating. He even goes into the crowd to hug some girls who can’t seem to stand up. Thankfully they keep the camera on him instead of going to recaps.

AJ Lee/Emma vs. Paige/Alicia Fox

I haven’t heard the fans go from a roar for one half of a tag team to dead silence like they did with AJ and Emma in years. AJ shoves Alicia around to start befor eit’s off to Emma for her marching. Fox sends her through the ropes but Emma hangs on and flips forward to kick Fox in the face. A dancing cradle gets two and AJ looks very confused. The Tarantula has Fox in trouble and the Emma Sandwich crushes her. Emma dances even more and AJ has had enough and walks out. The distraction lets Paige superkick Emma and nail the Rampaige for the pin at 2:48.

Video on Erick Rowan being set free just like Harper. Bray says they shall feel the smoke of his burning. We see what looks to be a pregnant woman’s stomach with the words “It’s coming” written on it.

Happy Birthday Bruno Sammartino.

Miz vs. Sheamus

Non-title. Miz takes him into the corner to start and snaps Sheamus’ throat over the top rope as the fans chant for Mizdow. Sheamus gets in a right hand to the ribs to stop Miz coming off the top but charges into a boot in the corner. He shakes off a Skull Crushing Finale attempt though and we take a break.

Back with Miz holding a chinlock before hammering away in the corner again. Miz puts on a kind of abdominal stretch on the mat as the fans think Mizdow is better. Sheamus fights out of the hold and loads up the Brogue Kick but Mizdow pulls Miz to safety. The Brogue Kick knocks Mizdow off the apron but Miz grabs a rollup for the pin at 10:12.

Rating: C-. Miz was more aggressive here and I like that he’s getting to do stuff, but did we need to pin ANOTHER champion, especially when he isn’t doing anything in the first place? Miz would probably be a better choice for the title right now but I’d like them to have a better way to get there.

Recap of Hogan’s speech last week. He hates breast cancer too you know.

Lawler introduces Joan Lunden (from the Today Show. Not that WWE says that), who is going through breast cancer. The fans are silent but at least applaud when she says she’s not giving up. There are a bunch of cancer survivors at ringside and each one gets an individual introduction. Cena comes out to hug her and that’s that.

One of the Real Housewives of Atlanta is going to be on Raw next week.

Edge and Christian still don’t have much to say.

John Cena vs. Randy Orton/Seth Rollins/Kane

Cena conducts the fans singing JOHN CENA SUCKS. I kind of like that he embraces it so much. Rollins has to start and the bell rings after 11pm because we needed to talk about cancer. Seth tags out to Kane less than thirty seconds in. Cena goes after Kane but keeps lunging at Rollins. The Authority beats him down and Rollins finally comes in, only to get punched in the face a few times. A Blockbuster puts Cena down for two but he lifts Seth up for the AA. Kane kicks Cena in the face to break it up and that’s the quick DQ at 4:33.

Rating: D. Yeah whatever. I’m so glad we had this match cut short for middle aged women dancing and a journalist from something not important enough to mention. That’s what Raw is all about anymore unfortunately, along with Authority vs. Cena/Ambrose ending in a DQ finish.

Post match Ambrose comes out carrying a Coney Island food cart. He pulls back his jacket to reveal ketchup and mustard holsters to spray on Kane and Orton. Cena AA’s Orton but he and Kane clothesline each other down. Ambrose beats Rollins up with various food iteams and tongs his crotch. Kane gets back up but takes an AA of his own. Cena and Ambrose are left in the ring and here are HHH and Stephanie with something to make the rumored matches for HIAC. It’s Cena vs. Ambrose with the winner facing Rollins in the Cell later that night. Ambrose DDTs Cena to the loudest non-Rock pop of the night to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was running with an anchor. There was a lot of good stuff here with the Rock’s appearance and the three way feud being gold, but dear goodness they tried their best to bring it down. Between HODA’S CRAZY DANCE to talking about cancer to the stupid bull vs. gator stuff, it’s like they were making an active attempt to get the fans ticked off. There’s so much good in WWE right now and so many bright spots on the horizon that I want to love it but the bad stuff is just SO bad that it’s crippling a lot of the good.

Results

Usos/Dolph Ziggler b. Stardust/Goldust/Cesaro – Superfly Splash to Stardust

Bo Dallas b. Mark Henry via countout

Jack Swagger b. Tyson Kidd – Patriot Lock

El Torito b. Mini Gator – Moonsault

Paige/Alicia Fox b. AJ Lee/Emma – Rampaige to Emma

Miz b. Sheamus – Rollup

John Cena b. Randy Orton/Kane/Seth Rollins via DQ when Kane and Rollins attacked Cena

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NPPH0WI

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Next up a cult favorite: Shark Boy.

Shark Boy got his start in early 1997, wrestling primarily in HWA out of Cincinnati and OVW out of Louisville. We’ll look at him on WCW Saturday Night on February 12, 2000.

Shark Boy vs. Norman Smiley

Heenan: “Have you seen Shark Boy with anyone today?” Scott Hudson: “No I haven’t.” Heenan: “So he’s a lone shark.” Smiley shoves him down and dances to start and nails a shoulder block, earning him a bit on the pants. He bails to the floor and gets nailed with a plancha, only to take him back in for a spinning slam.

It’s not time for the Big Wiggle yet as Bobby is talking about taxidermy. A sunset flip is countered but the Big Wiggle lets Sharky nail a bulldog for no cover. We hit a reverse chinlock on Smiley as things slow down. A bad looking dropkick puts Smiley down for two but Shark Boy charges into an elbow in the corner, setting up the Norman’s Conquest (cross face chicken wing) for the submission.

Rating: C-. Not a bad little match here with Shark Boy getting in some offense and showing off a bit, but still being a total gimmick instead of anything polished. Then again this is far bigger than wrestling in OVW or HWA for him so getting to show off a bit is the best thing that could happen to his career.

Speaking of HWA, we’ll look at Shark Boy at the third annual Brian Pillman Memorial Show, promoted by HWA.

HWA Cruiserweight Title: Shark Boy vs. Jamie-San

HWA is the Heartland Wrestling Association out of Cincinnati, which served as a developmental territory for both WCW and the WWF over the years. Shark Boy is defending and Jamie-San is Jamie Noble. The footage is pretty low quality and there’s no commentary here at all. ECW/WCW goon Tony Marinara is with Jamie here for some reason. They trade wristlocks to start and Shark Boy gets two off an O’Connor Roll, giving us a stalemate. Time for some technical stuff with a nice little chain wrestling sequence leading to stalemate the sequel.

Back up and Sharky armdrags him down and Jamie bails to the floor. Jamie gets back in, only to be bitten on the trousers. Marinara gets the same and it’s back to the floor for healing. Shark Boy breaks up their meeting with a nice dive but Jamie pulls him off the apron and sends him into the barricade. Jamie is supposed to be Japanese but he sounds like a hayseed whenever he talks trash, killing the idea dead. Sharky takes a running clothesline in the corner but comes out with a spinning sunset flip for two.

Jamie kind of misses a middle rope dropkick for two and we hit the chinlock. Really basic stuff so far but it’s not bad. It’s strange to see Shark Boy as just a guy (who happens to think he’s a shark) instead of a cult favorite. The hold stays on for a good while, which is a pretty big waste of Jamie’s talents in the time they have. The fans are WAY into Shark Boy here so maybe the cult favorite aspect is still around.

The champion finally comes back by sending Jamie into the corner and puts him down with a facebuster. There are ten punches in the corner and a middle rope hurricanrana gets two for the champion. The Dead Sea Drop (more commonly called Diamond Dust, flipping Stunner off the middle rope) is countered into a reverse layout DDT (Christian uses it a lot) for two. Jamie misses a top rope headbutt so Sharky grabs a sleeper, only to be rammed into the corner, putting him in perfect position for the Dead Sea Drop and the pin to retain.

Rating: C. This was fine. The matches tonight are going to depend on who is in the ring as I’ll be harsher on indy guys than I will be on big time talent. It’s nice to see indy guys who have talent out there like Shark Boy as some matches from this level can be DREADFUL, which I’m sure we’ll hit at some point tonight. This was a nice little match though and both guys looked solid in the ring.

Off to the WWA for the Revolution PPV.

Nova vs. AJ Styles vs. Tony Mamaluke vs. Christopher Daniels vs. Shark Boy vs. Low Ki

Elimination rules here and no one gets an entrance. It’s probably a good thing that they have to tag here. Styles vs. Mamaluke to start and they trade arm control. The camera keeps changing angles and it’s getting annoying. Mamaluke is bleeding from the nose as he hits a German to send AJ down onto his shoulder. Shark Boy comes in to fight Tony and gets clotheslined down.

Nova is standing on the floor, drinking water. Shark Boy hits an atomic drop and bites the place where his knee went. Off to Low Ki who gets atomic dropped as well, but comes back with a kick to Shark Boy’s head before he gets bitten. Daniels vs. Low Ki now and you know the strikes are coming here. A Capo Kick staggers Daniels and Nova gets tagged so hard that he spills his drink.

Apparently Nova is a businessman now. I’ve never seen a businessman in workout pants and no shirt but whatever. He works on Daniels’ arm a bit before it’s back to Low Ki. A double gordbuster puts Daniels down and it’s off to Mamaluke. There are the kicks from Low Ki and a double suplex by Ki and Sharky, but there was no tag so Shark Boy’s cover gets no count.

Things start to break down a bit as Sharky Boy and Mamaluke go to the floor for some dives. They wind up in the crowd (which is carpeted) as AJ pounds on Nova in the ring. Nova hooks a modified Crossface which goes nowhere because they’re not legal. Shark Boy hits a top rope rana on Mamaluke for two, even though the referee’s hand hit the mat three times. Low Ki comes in and hits a cartwheel kick on the distracted Shark Boy for the first elimination.

Off to AJ vs. Low Ki as the camera angles start to show a few details about the “arena”. There’s no ramp that I can see, and all of the seats are opposite the screen. I believe they’re in a theater, which is a really weird visual and atmosphere. Low Ki hits a HARD kick to the head (I’m shocked) but AJ comes back with forearms to the head. Both guys hit cross bodies so it’s off to Mamaluke vs. Daniels.

An STO kills Mamaluke who is a bloody mess. Daniels loads up the BME (I think) but Styles breaks it up for no apparent reason. AJ gets knocked down (I think. The camera direction here is a nightmare) so Mamaluke hits a belly to back off the top for two. Daniels hits the Angel’s Wings for no cover, instead tagging in Styles for the Clash to get us down to four people.

Nova comes in with a backbreaker on Styles for two before it’s back to Daniels vs. Styles. Even before TNA existed this was happening a lot. Styles tags in Low Ki who strikes away even harder on Daniels. Low Ki charges into a spinning electric chair of all things and a top rope elbow from Nova gets two on the kicking dude. Nova goes up and gets crotched, but as Low Ki goes up, he gets elbowed down into the Tree of Woe. Low Ki sits up and pulls Nova down into a rear naked choke while they’re both upside down.

Daniels comes in and is immediately thrown out, followed by everyone going to the floor. Daniels dives onto Low Ki so Styles hits a Shooting Star Press to the floor. This camera work is REALLY annoying as it either keeps cutting away or it has awkward shots of everything. Back in the ring, Low Ki loads up a rana on Nova, but Daniels runs the corner and hits a top rope Rock Bottom on Low Ki for the elimination.

Nova dropkicks Daniels to the floor so it’s Styles vs. Nova legally I guess. AJ is busted too. Everyone is in now and Daniels kicks Nova down and AJ gets two off a neckbreaker to Christopher. Daniels takes AJ down and hits the BME for two. There’s a dragon sleeper to AJ but Nova hooks a standing Last Chancery on Daniels at the same time. Nova grabs Daniels from behind but Styles sunset flips Nova, sending Daniels flying in the suplex.

AJ shoves Nova off the top and counters Daniels’ rana into a middle rope Styles Clash to get us down to one on one. A pair of rollups get two for Nova, as does a Downward Spiral. AJ gets two of his own off a German and Tessmacher’s current finisher (Tesshocker if you’re a big wrestling geek like me). They both go up with Nova hitting a C4 off the top (flipping Downward Spiral) for the final pin. Not much build to that.

Rating: B. Take six young and small guys, throw them in one match, let them have fun. AJ and Low Ki looked like the stars here, which they would be for all intents and purposes. Nova was already a name, Mamaluke never went anywhere, Shark Boy would become a cult favorite, and Daniels would become a decent sized star of his own right. Still though, fun match and AJ looked good in it, which shouldn’t shock anyone.

Shark Boy would wrestle in a dark match before Smackdown on March 11, 2003.

Kanyon vs. Shark Boy

The masked man gets run over to start but he comes back with right hands in the corner. Some dropkicks put Kanyon down and he’s already getting frustrated. The fans are already into Shark Boy and headbutts Kanyon down for two. Kanyon’s chick Jackie Gayda trips him up and Kanyon hits what would become an AA for two of his own. A baseball slide drives Sharky’s ribs into the post and a Russian legsweep rollup gets two.

We hit the chinlock from Kanyon before he misses a moonsault. Shark Boy hits a nice missile dropkick for a close two as the fans are WAY into him. A springboard bulldog gets the same but Kanyon nails a Razor’s Edge into a Dominator to take over. Kanyon takes him to the top but gets caught in the Dead Sea Drop for two with Jackie putting Kanyon’s foot on the ropes. A lifting Downward Spiral finally puts Sharky away.

Shark Boy wrestled on the first episode of Impact on June 4, 2004.

Shark Boy vs. Abyss

Sharky goes after Abyss and bites his way out of a chokeslam. A high cross body is caught in an easy slam before the Black Hole Slam ends this quick. Total squash for Abyss.

On to some happier times at No Surrender 2005.

Shark Boy vs. Mikey Batts vs. Elix Skipper vs. Sonjay Dutt

The winner qualifies for the Super X Cup which is, say it with me, A TOURNAMENT!!! The winner of the whole thing got a title shot at Daniels and the X Title. Elix and Sonjay start because you don’t tag. Dutt does a big revolving spin move into an armdrag. Spinebuster puts Dutt down and it’s off to Mikey who isn’t very popular. Shark Boy comes in but this is before he was a really popular crowd favorite.

He’s better than he’s given credit for too but with a gimmick/name like Shark Boy, how serious can anyone take him? Also the whole biting thing isn’t helping him. Sonjay beats him down a bit and Skipper tags himself in as Dutt is going for something off the top. Sharky hits a modified neckbreaker on Skipper for two. Skipper uses the Matrix move to avoid a cross body but Sonjay comes off the top via a springboard into a double stomp.

Dutt takes down Mikey with a springboard missile dropkick and Skipper gets two with a weird kind of reverse headlock takeover. He tries to walk the ropes (think Old School) into a rana on a crotched Batts but it’s mostly botched. I can live with that as it’s not like it’s a simple move. They’re both legal and a collision puts them both down.

There’s a double tag and Dutt takes over on Shark Boy again. The masked one really doesn’t have that much success does he? They start the dives but most of them are countered. Sudden Death (Celtic Cross. Finlay used to use it) takes Batts down and Sonjay goes up to hit a Hindu Press (big flippy move into a splash that hits about 10% of the target) to Batts to go to the tournament.

Rating: C-. Eh this was fine but the botches hurt it. It never really got going and came off as just more X Division stuff. Dutt would get crushed by Joe in the first round of the tournament which he would go on to win at the next PPV. This was fine but the division was about to be revolutionized by Joe, AJ and Daniels so this is kind of the last of the old days of it.

Well we’re getting closer. Let’s try Slammiversary 2006.

Senshi vs. Shark Boy vs. Alex Shelley vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Petey Williams vs. Jay Lethal

Elimination rules and the winner gets a title match this week on Impact. In what is probably a good thing, people have to tag here so there are only two people in the ring at once. Shark Boy and Petey get us going with Sharky grabbing the arm to start. Petey escapes and tries the Tree of Woe O Canada deal but Shark Boy bites his way out of it. They head out to the floor where nothing happens so Shark Boy tags in Lethal. This is before he’s Black Machismo so he’s just a 20 year old guy who is talented.

Jay works on the back and things speed up a bit. Petey hits a knee to the ribs and dropkicks the knee out. Off to Senshi who chops away, only to get chopped right back. A dropkick gets one for Lethal. Senshi comes back with the kicks before tagging in Shelley to a good reaction. He hooks a necktie choke and bends Lethal over the his knees. Lethal backflips out of it but Shelley backflips out of that and hits a kind of Backstabber to put Jay back down.

Jay gets in a low dropkick and it’s off to Dutt to start the flips. A standing swanton followed by a standing moonsault gets two. Dutt goes up top, only to get crotched by Shelley, who follows that up by dragging the crotch along the top rope for some rope burns. Alex stays on Dutt but taunts Sharky. This draws everyone in and it’s a triple suplex in a fairly cool looking spot. We get down to Dutt vs. Shark Boy with the masked man hitting a slingshot splash for two.

The Dead Sea drop is countered so he hits a regular neckbreaker instead. Shark Boy tries a top rope elbow but crashes, allowing Dutt to hit a standing shooting star to eliminate Shark Boy. Shelley vs. Dutt now and it’s a loud enziguri to Dutt. Dutt no sells that and hits a neckbreaker to put Shelley down. Dutt goes up but gets launched onto the middle rope, where Lethal tags himself in.

Lethal comes in with a springboard dropkick to Alex but Shelley comes back very quickly. A brainbuster looks to set up a swanton bomb but Jay avoids it and eliminates Shelley with a dragon suplex. Everyone comes in now and Senshi is sent to the floor. Petey hits a slingshot rana to the outside so Lethal dives onto the Canadian. Dutt hits a huge moonsault press onto all three to put all four down.

It’s Lethal vs. Petey in the ring with Jay kicking Petey’s head off. Petey shrugs that off and kills Lethal with the Destroyer to get us down to three. Dutt comes back in as it’s him, Senshi and Petey to go. Senshi and Williams team up on Dutt for a bit but Williams accidentally drills the bald guy in the face. An enziguri gets two for Dutt on Williams as Petey is in trouble. Senshi comes in and clotheslines Williams down because he’s not a nice guy.

Senshi goes up but Petey stops him, starting a fight on the top. Williams tries the Destroyer off the top but Senshi hangs on. Dutt takes Williams down and the Warrior’s Way gets us down to Senshi vs. Dutt. Both guys go up again and Dutt hits a rana to take Senshi down. A low dropkick gets two as does a floatover DDT. Senshi takes him down and hits a standing Warrior’s Way (double stomp) for two. Dutt trips him down and goes up top but his 450 hits knees. A HUGE running dropkick puts Dutt down and Senshi puts him in the Tree of Woe. The Warrior’s Way from that position is more than enough for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was your usual mindless X-Division match and that’s fine. This ate up almost half an hour and it was certainly entertaining. Senshi was the new hot thing in the division so putting him over like this was certainly the right idea. There isn’t much to say here as this was exactly what you would expect from this kind of a match, but it was pretty good.

Here’s an X-Division Title shot at Lockdown 2007.

X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Jay Lethal vs. Alex Shelley vs. Shark Boy

Sabin is champion and this is an Xscape match, as in first one out is the winner. They tried this a bunch of times but they screwed it up by having like ten people in it. Five is about perfect. Lethal has Nash with him. The cage is kind of different as it looks like the old cage with the squares in the walls, but they’re a lot smaller. I like it. And they have to tag. What exactly are the rules for this thing? That’s not worth letting us know, because we need to talk about the main event.

Dutt and Sabin start. If I remember right, it’s elimination rules and when you get down to the final two it’s escape only. Hey I’m right. Sabin and Shelley try to cheat but Sabin has to put the brakes on. Dutt does his flips but gets placed on the top rope. Sabin sets for a superplex but Shark Boy walks the ropes and tags himself in for a three man Tower of Doom.

Sharky vs. Shelley now and a neckbreaker gets two for the fish. Hurricanrana and a missile dropkick get two. Sabin and Shelley work together a bit more but Shark Boy easily takes care of both of them. To be fair the Guns weren’t a team in TNA yet but this would be their first date for lack of a better term. Sharky tries Diamond Dust but gets caught in a reverse DDT by Shelley. A double legdrop via the Guns take care of him and we’re down to four.

Lethal is in next to a big reaction. Lethal works over Alex but Sabin interferes again and Shelley hits a top rope jawbreaker to put Lethal down. Sabin goes over and blasts Dutt for no apparent reason. Not a nice guy. Sabin vs. Lethal now with Sabin firing off a rapid fire Garvin Stomp. The Guns hit some stuff that would become signature moves over the years. The fans love Shelley.

The Guns beat on Dutt as only they can. Off to Lethal and things speed up again. He fires off a ton of rights to Sabin but the Guns are too much for him. The sequence where they get Lethal on the mat with Shelley having him in a neckbreaker position so Sabin can hit a running dropkick gets two. Dutt tries a springboard double clothesline but slips off so he hits Shelley but the wrong side of him.

Dutt hits an Asai Moonsault press but the Guns are too much for him as Shelley hits a Stunner and crossface style hold. It’s a tag match now and the non-Guns have stereo submissions on. The ASCS Rush puts Lethal down and a wicked Cradle Shock gets rid of Dutt. Lethal hits Lethal Combinations on both guys and the top rope elbow gets us down to two. Now it’s just escape. Lethal takes over and they both climb. They get on the top and both climb down but Sabin gets a kick to knock him into the cage, allowing Chris to drop to the floor to retain.

Rating: B-. This was a very solid opener with the crowd getting way into the Guns. They would officially unite by the end of the month, starting off a multi-year run which is still technically going despite injuries. Lethal would get the title during the summer, holding it for a whopping two days! The Guns would somehow not win the tag titles until 2010.

Then Shark Boy teamed up with Curry Man to fight Team 3D. Fish were involved. From Destination X 2008.

Fish Market Street Fight: Team 3D vs. Shark Boy/Curry Man

West and Curry Man dance before this starts. This was when Shark Boy was a parody of Stone Cold, drinking clam juice, talking about how that’s the fishing line, giving him a shell yeah and having Austinesque theme music. It was awful in case you couldn’t get that. Bubba yells a lot and D-Von weighs in at….some undisclosed weight under 275lbs. Bubba allegedly makes it too, thereby ending this idiotic angle.

And now Devine, the X-Division traitor, hands them candy and they eat but get jumped. This is a glorified hardcore match but with “comedy” added to it. The Dudleys get run off early on and try to leave. I don’t like where this is going. There are big crated of frozen fish around the aisle. See what I’m dealing with here? Yes, they’re beating each other with frozen fish. Mike gets the HOLY MACKERAL line in.

Curry Man puts a Ding Dong on a fishing pole and goes Ray hunting. Oh of course it works. This is making my soul ache. Honestly, who thought this was a marketable idea? Who thought someone would want to see this? Ray throws fish into the crowd and the announcers say this was expected. Uh, why? Ray bites a fish as I would be so embarrassed if someone knew I was watching this.

We get some actual wrestling just so we can be told there was wrestling in this. What’s Up on Curry Man with a fish. It’s returned by Shark Boy and this is awful. Oh but hey, according to Meltzer, the triple threat at Survivor Series was worse. Yeah keep telling yourself that buddy. Stereo X-Factors and Tornado DDTs on the heels get two. Shark Boy kicks out of a Doomsday Device. Bubba gets blinded by powder and accidently hits 3D on D-Von to end it. The Dudleys get into it with some guy from Survivor that no one cares about.

Rating: F-. I’m not even going to bother explaining why a match involving beating on each other with fish is a failure.

This partnership was part of the Prince Justice Brotherhood, a strange stable of Curry Man, Shark Boy and Super Eric who fought for the forces of good. Here they are at No Surrender 2008.

Rock N Rave Infection/Christy Hemme vs. Prince Justice Brotherhood

The Brotherhood is Super Eric (Young in a bad superhero gimmick), Stone Cold Shark Boy and Curry Man in one of the dumbest gimmicks even by TNA standards. The Infection is a bad rock band gimmick that played Guitar Hero controllers and had the smoking hot Christy Hemme as their manager. Eric vs. Rave to start with Eric taking over.

Eric gets a plancha to the floor which gets two back in the ring. Lance Rock comes in which gets his team nowhere so it’s off to Shark Boy. Thesz Press takes down Rock again as the good guys are dominating. Shark Boy is the same Steve Austin parody that was on Impact the other night. Over to Curry Man who gets a pop for no apparent reason other than a potential lack of oxygen in the arena.

Curry Man tags in Christy and we’re in a comedy match officially. He shoves her off and then realizes where his head was so he offers to go back into it again. Funny spot. Off to Shark Boy and Rave. Back drop sends Shark Boy (I refused to refer to him as Sharky like West and Tenay keep doing) to the floor as momentum changes.

Jawbreaker almost gets Shark Boy a tag but Rock N Rave get something close to a 3D but into a knee instead of a cutter. Christy comes in and is dropped onto Shark Boy by Rock. Cold tag to Curry Man (I thought he was hot and spicy?) who gets a flying hip to Rock. He and Hemme dance a bit and she gets kissed. Rollup gets two but Rock drills Curry so that Christy can hit the Flying Firecrotch Guillotine (don’t ask) for two. Chummer (Stunner) to Christy and a double Death Valley Driver to the guys from Curry Man end this.

Rating: C+. Basic fast paced and fun match to start us off here which is often times the best idea to open a show. Christy was the only good thing about the Infection as she looked great as the groupie. This was just here for comedy and to warm the crowd up and it did that rather well. Good opener.

Shark Boy would leave TNA for a few years but returned to wrestle on Xplosion, December 24, 2010.

Shark Boy vs. Robbie E.

Shark Boy takes over to start but goes outside to yell at Robbie’s girl Cookie. The distraction lets Robbie get in some cheap shots from behind and takes over inside. We take a break and come back with Robbie nailing a running clothesline in the corner. We hit the chinlock for a long time before Shark Boy fights up for a double clothesline. A facebuster and more clotheslines put Robbie down and Sharky bites his trunks. Robbie sells it like only he can but comes back with a quick neckbreaker for the pin.

Rating: D. Dull stuff for the most part here but it’s just the Xplosion show. There wasn’t much to the match but did you really expect anything else? Shark Boy is a guy that is going to get a reaction and can make Robbie look good in one of E.’s first matches with the company. At least the fans cared for a bit.

Shark Boy would be in a surprise match at Destination X 2011.

Generation Me vs. Eric Young/Shark Boy

This is a bonus match. I can never remember which Buck is which. Eric and Shark Boy tag about five times before the match starts. Ok so Jeremy is the blonde. Got it. Sharky stomps a mudhole in him early and hammers away in the corner. There’s the Thesz Press and an elbow. Eric comes in and beats on both guys a bit. Off to Sharky who bites Max. Yep it’s a comedy match.

Jeremy throws on a chinlock as Sharky is still ridiculously over. Clothesline misses and Shark Boy gets a shot to the back of the head to put both guys down. Young pulls his tights down to shift to trunks and gets the hot tag. Gen Me takes over again and a bulldog gets two on Young. Stunner by Shark Boy sets up a wheelbarrow suplex into a reverse neckbreaker by Young for the pin on Max. Think Lethal’s Lethal Injection but with a wheelbarrow suplex.

Rating: C-. Just a comedy tag match to fill in some time. I still hate what they’re doing with the midcard title as it’s being used as a comedy prop like Santino did to the IC Title a few years ago. Not bad here but it’s really just a filler match and nothing all that great. Shark Boy’s popularity is still strong though.

TNA brought Shark Boy back at Hardcore Justice 2 because he’s hardcore or something.

Hardcore Gauntlet Battle Royal

Everyone gets to bring a weapon with them and it’s a new entrant every two minutes. Usually in TNA gauntlet matches it’s over the top rope eliminations until the final two when it’s pin/submission but there’s no mention of the rules changing for the final two here. We start with Devon Storm who brings a golf club and Little Guido who brings in a dust bin. They fight over the golf club until Storm suplexes Guido down to take over.

Some golf club shots to the back have Guido in trouble but he comes back with a basement dropkick to take over. Guido puts on a Crossface with the club used to choke Storm until Crimson with his umbrella is #3 (out of nine). Crimson cleans house with the umbrella and a big book to Guido. Storm gets double teamed for a bit until Sam Shaw is #4 with a cane. Shaw spins out of a backdrop from Crimson before taking him down with a dropkick. There’s nothing of note going on at all here.

Johnny Swinger is #5 with a crutch but he’s gone in about 40 seconds at Guido’s hands. Crimson hits Guido with the umbrella and leaves some impressive marks on his back as a result. Funaki of all people is #6 with a guardrail. We get the Terry Funk/Sandman/Tommy Dreamer spinning metal object spot from Funaki and the rail until Funaki superkicks Guido out. Gunner is #7 with a nightstick and the fans chant welcome back, showing the issues with a taped PPV.

Gunner tosses Storm out and hits Shaw in the face with a golf club. It’s 2 Cold Scorpio at #8 with a broom to pop the crowd a bit. Shaw trades forearms with Scorpio but gets monkey flipped out. JB: “Unbelievable!” No, not really. Shark Boy is #9 with a bag ala Jake Roberts. It’s Crimson/Gunner vs. Scorpio/Funaki/Sharky with Scorpio hitting a sunset bomb on Gunner to put him down. A middle rope Harlem Hangover hits Crimson and Funaki goes up as well, only to be tossed by Scorpio and Sharky.

Crimson clotheslines Scorpio out and hit a double chokeslam on Sharky. They start throwing weapons out but they’re afraid of the bag. Both of them look in the bag and freak out, allowing Shark Boy to hit Chummers (Stunner) to both guys. Shark Boy pulls…..a fish out of the bag. The fish “bites” Gunner and a fish shot eliminates Crimson. Sharky backdrops Gunner out for the win.

Rating: D-. Not only was the match boring, but it’s a match that would have fit in the stupid comedy era of the WWF hardcore division. The weapons were all stupid and the fish at the end made it even worse. The “comedy” here was in the vein of beat people over the head and yell IT’S COMEDY in their face, which is my least favorite kind.

And again at Turning Point 2013.

Ethan Carter III vs. Shark Boy

Shark Boy had announced he was coming back tonight on Impact365 earlier this week. Carter bails to the floor for a chase but still avoids an elbow as they get back inside. The Chummer is countered with ease and the One Percenter is good for the pin at 2:06.

One more surprise at Impact, October 1, 2014.

Manik vs. Shark Boy

Seriously. Shark Boy hammers away to start and sends Manik out to the floor with a shot to the face. Some clotheslines do the same and a backdrop sends Manik flying. Back in and Manik grabs some suplexes for two and a knee drop gets the same. A Frog Splash is enough to pin Shark Boy at 3:10.

Rating: D. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but it’s good to see Manik look good in his first match under the new gimmick. Storm has something going for him with this idea but I have a bad feeling a lot of his heat is going away for the sake of putting Great Muta over at Bound For Glory. Shark Boy looked WAY out of shape.

Shark Boys is the epitome of a joke character that the fans got behind. There’s nothing wrong with being that guy and he got to have some fun at times. The Stone Cold stuff made me roll my eyes up to start but eventually I just thought “why not”. He’s a fun character and nothing meant to be taken seriously, which is perfectly fine.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Why do we always miss this?It’s fall again and, just like every year, WWE is getting dull.  As usual, fans are annoyed that the product sucks, even though they sit through this EVERY SINGLE YEAR.  Think about it: every year the last few months are always a letdown and every single year the fans act surprised by it.  Why would you expect it to be different?  There has to be a down time in there somewhere, if nothing else just due to people running out of gas and needing to recharge a bit.

Every year it’s the same thing and every year it’s the same response.  It really should be expected by now.