This really shouldn’t surprise anyone, even though I found her explanation for what happened to make sense. If nothing else, it’s a way to cut another salary without looking heartless. She’ll get a job somewhere I’m sure.

http://www.wrestlinginc.com/wi/news/2014/0701/577625/wwe-diva-arrested-before-monday-raw/

For a freaking iPod case? Seriously?

Over the years Money in the Bank has been one of the more reliable shows on the PPV….er I mean Special Event calendar. The ladder matches were clearly going to dominate this show and the rest of the stuff on the card was just there to fill in the gaps left by having fourteen people in two matches. Let’s get to it.

The pre-show saw Daniel Bryan return for an interview to talk about his status. The update wasn’t too promising: his arms aren’t getting their strength back and there’s talk about a second operation. If that’s the case, word on the street has him out another six months to a year. That’s a horrible situation but I’d much rather have him out that long and able to walk when he’s forty than get another year of matches. Bo Dallas came out and told Bryan to Bo-lieve which led nowhere.

The opening PPV match was an awesome back and forth fight with the Usos retaining the titles against the Wyatts. Both teams looked awesome out there and it’s the kind of match where the Wyatts don’t lose face by not winning the belts. The near falls in this were very hot and the fans got way into things as a result. A hot tag match is usually the best option for an opener and this was no exception. Luke Harper continues to be as awesome as you can be while still being a Bruiser Brody inspired lackey to a Louisiana cult leader. Really solid stuff here and I’d be fine with a rematch.

Ambrose continued his awesome streak of promos by wondering if he should use a ladder to get the briefcase or crush Rollins’ face. Dean is just feeling it right now and is one step off, making him all the more interesting to watch. The showdown is going to be white hot when it happens.

Naomi and Paige tried to do something different in the Divas Title match with some nice athletic stuff, but at the end of the day this was more about Cameron and Naomi’s impending split. You know, because we’re supposed to care about Cameron because she’s a STAR. The match was fine but nothing I’m going to remember two days later. Actually that’s true as I had to read the description to remember what happened.

Damien Sandow was Paul Revere and got beaten up by Adam Rose. I guess they were seven minutes short or something.

Before the briefcase match, we got some old school style interviews from the participants talking about how they were going to win. I loved these as they take like fifteen seconds apiece and give you a quick look at each person. Why haven’t these been a regular thing in twenty years?

Seth Rollins won the Money in the Bank briefcase in a good and entertaining match. Well entertaining most of the time at least as some of the high spots had me terrified. Thankfully no one seemed to be too badly banged up as a result. The main story was of course Rollins vs. Ambrose as their showdown continues to look awesome. After leaving with a shoulder injury, Ambrose came back and almost won the case, but Kane ran interference to give Rollins the win.

It’s such a simple idea but more importantly than that, IT MAKES SENSE. Kane works for the organization Rollins is a part of, so why wouldn’t he come down to help? It also sets up a potential match for Dean against Kane, though hopefully it’s on a Smackdown or something so that it doesn’t take up a ton of time. The rest of the match was nothing special and no one really stood out, save for Swagger for some power stuff at times.

Goldust/Stardust beat Ryback/Curtis Axel in the same match they’ve had multiple times now. Another TV match.

Rusev beat Big E. Again. It was slightly better than their last effort but it didn’t make things any more interesting.

Layla beat Summer Rae with Fandango as guest referee. Fandango is a lucky man and that’s about it.

Cena won the title again in another ladder match. The ending was exactly what it should have been, but I would have liked the challengers to do a little big more on the way to the obvious ending. Cena had to win given how things are looking heading into Summerslam so I’m fine with that. Would it have hurt them to let Wyatt and Cesaro not look like such afterthoughts though?

Post match Cena was called the greatest WWE Champion of all time. This made me roll my eyes, though I get why they say it. For those of you that aren’t up on your history, the statement isn’t laughable but it’s certainly not correct.

Overall Money in the Bank’s big matches worked but it felt more like a formality than a show you needed to see. The ladder matches were both good and entertaining enough for the $10 (something I skipped: the announcers were HAMMERING in the idea of getting the Network. It seems clear that the PPV providers are about to be gone in full very fast. Not a surprise at all when you think about it though) but the other matches save for the tag match were horrible or totally meaningless. That’s not a great selling point for a big show.

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Today we’re going to Canada for a former TNA World Champion: Eric Young.

Young started in the Canadian independents in 1998 and eventually earned a spot as a jobber in WWE. Here’s a match from Velocity on August 23, 2003. Notice Young’s partner.

FBI vs. Eric Young/Bobby Roode

The FBI are Chuck Palumbo and Johnny Stamboli. Johnny and Roode get things going with the jobber getting run over. A crucifix gets two for Roode and he brings in Young to work on the arm. Stamboli easily powers him into the corner and brings in Palumbo for some shoulders to the ribs. A hard slam drops Young and a buckle bomb has him rolling around in pain. The double teaming begins as Young is taking quite a beating. Palumbo gets two off a clothesline and we hit the chinlock. Eric finally avoids a charge and tags in Roode as everything breaks down. Chuck superkicks Roode in the back of the head for the pin.

Rating: D. Just a squash here but it’s always interesting to see these future names doing nothing in a match like this. Roode and Young looked decent but it was clear they were far from being ready to do much of anything. In other words, they were perfect for TNA at the time, especially since TNA was only a bit over a year old.

Young and Roode would team again as part of Team Canada in TNA. Here they are in the first match ever on Impact on June 4, 2004.

Team Canada vs. Amazing Red/Sonjay Dutt/Hector Garza

Team Canada is Petey Williams, Eric Young and Bobby Roode. Another very different idea from this point is the time limit on screen. Non-title matches only have ten minute time limits and title matches get thirty minutes. If the match goes to a time limit draw, a judge will decide the winner. The Canadians all bail to the floor to start and there’s the triple dive. We start in the ring with Eric Young (with BIG bushy hair) getting beaten up by Amazing Red until the Canadians take Eric out.

Roode pounds away on Red as the power member of the Canadians, getting two off an elbow. There’s also an ESPN style bottom line, running down results of recent TNA PPVs. Petey gets two off a middle rope bulldog and Coach Scott D’Amore gets in a cheap shot of his own. Back to Roode for a nice suplex before knocking Dutt and Garza out to the floor.

Red comes back with a simultaneous headscissors to Roode and DDT to Young, allowing for the hot tag to Garza. Roode takes him down with a tilt-a-whirl powerbomb as everything breaks down. Red gets two on Roode off a springboard hurricanrana but Petey snaps off the Canadian Destroyer to take Red out. Roode’s Razor’s Edge is countered into a hurricanrana by Dutt, setting up a corkscrew moonsault from Dutt for the pin.

Rating: C. This was fine for an opener with most of the guys busting out all of their dives. It’s the standard formula of throwing some fast paced guys out there to open up a show and it still works as well as anything else. It’s always fun to see how big starts like Roode got their starts as he looked good here.

The pair would continue to team together and have a change to win their second World Tag Team Titles at Turning Point 2004.

Tag Titles: Ron Killings/BG James vs. Eric Young/Bobby Roode

3 Live Kru are the champions. They won the titles from the Canadians a month ago, making this a rematch. Young and BG get things going with Young being rammed into all of the buckles. Young tries to steal BG’s gyrating punches so the Kru hits their version of What’s Up. Here’s Roode to face Truth. Truth is a replacement for Konnan who is injured so this is under the Freebird Rule.

Truth hits his usual not-WWE stuff and gets two off a spinning kick. The Canadians double team Truth with a double backbreaker for two. They take over with Roode bringing Young back in. Young stomps on Truth in the corner but Truth won’t even sell it at all. He pulls himself up and hits a missile dropkick. No tag as it’s back to Roode. They try their own What’s Up but Truth escapes and makes the tag.

James knocks Roode to the outside and punches Young down. Roode comes back in and James gets two on him off a forearm. Young goes up but Truth hits the ax kick. Roode hits his spinebuster on James for a VERY close two. Roode sets for maybe a spear but the Kru hits a Hart Attack with a side kick instead of a clothesline. James loads up the pumphandle but Johnny Devine runs in and hits James in the back with a hockey stick so the Canadians can get the titles.

Rating: C-. Not terrible here and it was ok enough for an opener. It wasn’t particularly good and I didn’t care who won by the end. That’s a running problem for this era of TNA: the matches and feuds aren’t really compelling as they’re trying desperately to keep a show on and fill in three hours. There’s some ok stuff in here though so it’s certainly not a failure or anything.

Young would stay in Team Canada but switch over to teaming with Petey Williams. They would challenge for the titles at Slammiversary 2005.

Tag Titles: Team Canada vs. The Naturals

It’s Eric Young/Petey Williams vs. Chase Stevens/Andy Douglas respectively. The Naturals are defending and I still don’t remember which is which. Eric and I think Stevens start things off. Ok so Stevens is the blonde one. Got it. Eric works on the arm to start which goes nowhere. They slap/slug it out and Young goes down. Double tag brings in Douglas and Williams. Williams tries a handstand but Douglas grabs his feet and puts on a modified leglock while Petey is still holding himself up. It’s different if nothing else.

Back to the starters with the champions in firm control. Young might have hurt his knee on a leapfrog attempt. When Williams comes in and gets Stevens’ attention, Young pops up and sends him to the floor so that A-1, Canada’s muscle guy, can get in some shots. It’s still Eric vs. Chase but with Stevens in the Tree of Woe, Petey comes in to stand on his crotch and sing O Canada.

Young comes in off the top with a guillotine legdrop for two. Time for the chinlock and Douglas is freaking out waiting for a tag. Petey lures him in and the Canadians get in some double teaming. Some choking and a regular legdrop get two. Eric sends him to the floor so it’s time to talk about Jarrett possibly making bail to make the title match tonight. D’Amore and A-1 work over Stevens more on the outside.

The announcers think the Naturals should consider throwing in the towel. Dang those guys quit pretty easily. The match has only been going on for about ten minutes. Stevens gets in some punches but A-1 stops the comeback. Douglas comes around to break that up but there’s no one for Stevens to tag. Can I get some wah wah wah music? There’s the hot tag a few seconds later and a full nelson backbreaker gets two.

Everything breaks down and Williams puts Douglas in a Sharpshooter. Stevens tries a powerbomb but gets caught in a DDT. Douglas knocks Young to the floor as Stevens and Williams slug it out. Williams gets caught on Douglas’ shoulders and a modified (and bad) Doomsday Device gets two. Natural Disaster (elevated Stunner) gets two on Young. Russian legsweep to Stevens but the Destroyer is countered. D’Amore gets in a hockey stick shot, but JIMMY HART pops in from out of nowhere with the Megaphone. Stevens pops Williams with it and gets the easy pin.

Rating: C+. This was formula down to the core and there’s nothing wrong with that. All four guys were moving pretty quickly out there and the Canadians did their usual stuff. The Naturals were pretty decent in the ring but they had NOTHING to make you care about them at all which wound up being their downfall.

Team Canada would show signs of dissent and finally split in July 2006. Natually they fought amongst each other after the breakup, including this match at No Surrender 2006.

Eric Young vs. A-1

This is fallout from Team Canada breaking up and everything being blamed on Young for no apparent reason other than he was popular. Basic power vs. speed match here which is happening because Young was insanely popular as opposed to now being insane in general. A-1 pounds him down with ease because that’s what big men do. I haven’t seen much of his stuff but he’s one of the most generic big power guys I’ve ever seen.

Young finally gets a break and fights back, even hitting a top rope elbow which gets two. There’s something cool about how moves that have really nothing to do with the size and power of the guy only work for Savage or whoever is using them. Never got that. Anyway, A-1 fights back but can’t get a tombstone, which is another example of what I just mentioned. This is one of those matches where stuff is going on but nothing is happening. After some cheating by A-1, Young hits something like the Lethal Injection for the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a match for the most part here. Power vs. speed usually works pretty well but this was boring for the most part. A-1 more or less never meant anything at all so I guess you can call this his career highlight. Let that sink in for a minute. Young would go on to a REALLY long feud with Roode after this that did nothing for either guy. We did get to see Traci in a bikini though so that helped a bit.

Next up was a feud with the now serious Robert Roode, who Young would wind up working for in exchange for sleeping with Roode’s valet Traci Brooks. The idea was Young was very popular and Roode wanted the same fan support so he tried to buy it. This led to a match between them at Slammiversary 2007 with Eric’s job on the line in exchange for a shot at freedom.

Robert Roode vs. Eric Young

Roode slaps Young in the head a bit and it fires Young up, making him shout HIT ME AGAIN. Young sends him to the floor and hits a huge dive off the top to take Roode out. Roode takes over quickly and we make Brooks jokes. There’s the Hennig neck snap and Roode is in total control. Time for a chinlock and I remember why I hated this heel run by Roode.

Eric counters into an electric chair drop and both guys are down. Discus lariat gets two for Eric. Young is sent to the floor so he pulls Brooks’ pants down after dancing with her. Top rope elbow gets two for Eric. Brooks comes in and there’s a double Death Valley Driver which gets two on Roode. You know, because a big and impressive spot like that shouldn’t end a match. And then Roode whacks Eric in the head with a chair for the pin. Seriously that’s it.

Rating: C-. The ending KILLS that match. Young was rather popular at this point and having him lose after a big spot like that is really pretty stupid. Roode was SO freaking boring as a heel and he never really changed anything about his character, which somehow made him even more boring. Decent match until the ending, but that kills it.

It’s a Dusty Finish though. Roode fires Eric but here’s Cornette to say hang on a second. The match is restarted and Roode hits him in the head multiple times. Gail runs out and beats down Brooks. The distraction leads to a rollup pin for Eric.

This one doesn’t need much of an explanation. From Bound For Glory 2007.

Fight For the Right Tournament Stage One: Reverse Battle Royal

Dang it. Ok so this one might just hold the record for most ridiculous TNA concept. This is the beginning of a HUGE #1 contenders tournament. The winner of this match is the #1 seed in said tournament, which he would wind up losing anyway, making this COMPLETELY POINTLESS.

Anyway there are 16 people in this and you start on the floor. The first eight to get into the ring make it to part two. When those eight are in there’s a battle royal. When there are two left in the ring, they have a one on one match and the winner is the #1 seed. The other seeds are determined in the order you were eliminated.

Somehow this is slightly less complicated than the previous year’s tournament where the winner of the battle royal advanced to the finals and 6 other guys had qualifying matches to set up a triple threat where the winner met the battle royal winner to get a title shot. And people wonder why this company is loathed by so many people.

ANYWAY, the 16 people are Jimmy Rave, Lance Hoyt (Vance Archer), Havok (Johnny Devine), Shark Boy, Petey Williams, Kaz, Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, Sonjay Dutt, Kip James, BG James, James Storm, Eric Young, Robert Roode, Chris Harris and Junior Fatu (Rikishi, who was there like a week).

Fatu gets in first. This is so stupid. I know there are issues with getting ring time in this company but this is ridiculous. Kaz and Roode are in. Shelley is in fourth. Hoyt accidently drops Young in and there’s Sabin. Hoyt goes in seventh and Storm just beats Harris in to give us the 8th guy. Let’s get this over with. Young puts Storm out seconds in, making him the #8 seed in the tournament. Naturally he would win his first round match as he had to do the least wrestling, making it easier on him. See what I mean by flaws in the system?

Young goes after Rikishi who was supposed to be a huge deal I guess. He chokeslams Roode and stacks up four people in the corner for the splash. Stinkface to Hoyt as this is boring. The Andre treatment takes care of him though. He would make the semi-finals of the tournament and then leave the company.

The Guns go nuts with an insane double submission on Roode and Young. They move Young’s legs so he has an Indian Deathlock on Roode before putting a crossface on Roode and an abdominal stretch on Young. It doesn’t accomplish anything but it looks awesome. Think of it as a Divas match.

Shelley is gone. Kaz hits his slingshot DDT on Sabin and then dumps him too. We’re down to Hoyt, Kaz, Roode and Young. Kaz is out as well. Hoyt like an idiot goes for a moonsault and gets thrown out because he’s a freaking idiot. The final two….ok make that three as Sabin is still in there I guess, are Sabin, Roode and Young. And scratch Sabin….who apparently is Sabin as they apparently misspoke earlier. I give up. Roode vs. Young is the final.

Roode is a power guy still here and isn’t in a tag team. The tournament sets up Sabin vs. Shelley which is of course good but means nothing compared to them in the X Title final years later. These two had been feuding and were stablemates years ago. And then Young rolls up Roode in a small package to end it. Young would lose to Storm in the first round and Kaz would beat Christian to win the tournament.

Rating: F+. This was perhaps the most overdone match in history. Seriously, is it that hard to have a battle royal to determine who the #1 contender is? Couldn’t they just have a tournament with a random draw? Apparently not as they decided to just combine them and throw in a one on one match too. This is what we mean by overbooking. You don’t have to do a big complicated thing when a simple thing would work fine and in this case much better. Stupid match and VERY stupid concept.

In December 2007, Scott Hall was scheduled for a six man tag at Turning Point. Hall, being himself, no showed and Samoa Joe was told to explain it to the crowd. He cut a shoot on the company and picked Eric Young as his replacement.

Angle Alliance vs. Samoa Joe/Kevin Nash/???

The match isn’t going to start for a bit. The Alliance is Tomko/AJ (Tag champions) and of course Angle (world champion). AJ as a heel just isn’t working at all. It never did and it never will. He’s a clueless putz here too so that isn’t helping anything. Karen has some sweet legs. Joe comes out last and grabs the mic for the rant heard around the Impact Zone.

He talks about how he was told to come out here because the fans love him and they’ll listen to him. Scott Hall no showed this event but he’s not going to be here in a surprise or something like that. This got Joe thinking: he could walk out here and have a handicap match, but TNA just gave him a live mic on a PPV. Therefore, he has a few things to say.

There are two types of people in TNA: the diehards who do whatever it takes to entertain the fans every night, and Superstars who come in and do whatever they like. The Superstars screw the wrestlers and the fans who paid to see them, no matter how old they are. TNA is about the Guns, TNA is about Jay Lethal, TNA is about Samoa Joe, TNA is about hard working young guys who want to change wrestling. TNA is about guys doing whatever it takes to entertain the fans while others come in and pad their pensions.

Joe talks to someone in the crowd (presumably Dixie) saying go ahead and fire me. He went to the back and said who wants to be in a fight tonight. The X Division jumped up and said give me the shot. One guy though stood out to him and that is his partner tonight: Eric Young. This was a weird pick and according to some reports I’ve read, Joe’s immediate answer was Homicide, but since LAX were heels at this point that got shot down. At least that’s a valid reason.

Ok so now it’s time for the match. AJ vs. Joe gets us going here. Joe hooks a sunset flip but rolls AJ to the side around the ring (that has a name but I can’t think of it) and chops away. Joe tags in Eric who just doesn’t fit here as he’s a comedy character. This didn’t result in a major push for him either. Young comes in to fight Angle and he’s just Eric Young. That’s the problem here: there’s nothing significant about him but he’s just kind of there.

Off to Nash vs. Tomko and the one with hair takes him down with his usual big strikes. Young gets a Thesz Press on Styles, followed by a wheelbarrow suplex for two. Angle grabs Eric’s arm and pulls it across the ropes to try to give the match a story. AJ tries a superplex but gets caught in a gordbuster off the top. Double tag brings in Nash and Angle but everything breaks down quickly.

Eric’s dive is caught by the tag champs so Joe dives onto all three of them to take them out. Ankle lock to Nash and Joe smiles. He eventually breaks it up with a superkick and tags himself in to beat on Tomko. Powerslam gets two. There’s a Jackknife to Angle as the parade of finishers begins. AJ hits the forearm on Nash and double teaming abounds. The MuscleBuster ends Tomko.

Rating: D. What a mess this was, and somehow having Hall in there would have made it even worse. Young had no point of being in there and it was almost a shoot with everyone being thrown off by Joe’s promo. The match was going to be bad no matter what, but this was really weak and a horrible PPV main event.

After a stupid feud with James Storm over who could drink more beer, Young became a superhero named Super Eric. This led to a trio with Shark Boy and Curry Man, who teamed together at No Surrender 2008.

Rock N Rave Infection/Christy Hemme vs. Prince Justice Brotherhood

The Brotherhood is Super Eric (Young in a bad superhero gimmick), Stone Cold Shark Boy and Curry Man in one of the dumbest gimmicks even by TNA standards. The Infection is a bad rock band gimmick that played Guitar Hero controllers and had the smoking hot Christy Hemme as their manager. Eric vs. Rave to start with Eric taking over.

Eric gets a plancha to the floor which gets two back in the ring. Lance Rock comes in which gets his team nowhere so it’s off to Shark Boy. Thesz Press takes down Rock again as the good guys are dominating. Shark Boy is the same Steve Austin parody that was on Impact the other night. Over to Curry Man who gets a pop for no apparent reason other than a potential lack of oxygen in the arena.

Curry Man tags in Christy and we’re in a comedy match officially. He shoves her off and then realizes where his head was so he offers to go back into it again. Funny spot. Off to Shark Boy and Rave. Back drop sends Shark Boy (I refused to refer to him as Sharky like West and Tenay keep doing) to the floor as momentum changes.

Jawbreaker almost gets Shark Boy a tag but Rock N Rave get something close to a 3D but into a knee instead of a cutter. Christy comes in and is dropped onto Shark Boy by Rock. Cold tag to Curry Man (I thought he was hot and spicy?) who gets a flying hip to Rock. He and Hemme dance a bit and she gets kissed. Rollup gets two but Rock drills Curry so that Christy can hit the Flying Firecrotch Guillotine (don’t ask) for two. Chummer (Stunner) to Christy and a double Death Valley Driver to the guys from Curry Man end this.

Rating: C+. Basic fast paced and fun match to start us off here which is often times the best idea to open a show. Christy was the only good thing about the Infection as she looked great as the groupie. This was just here for comedy and to warm the crowd up and it did that rather well. Good opener.

Young would defeat Sheik Abdul Bashir for the title in late 2008 but the finish was questionable, leading to a rematch at Final Resolution.

X-Division Title: Eric Young vs. Sheik Abdul Bashir

Naturally the referee that interfered in the last match is the referee here. It’s Shane Sewell, that guy that got a brief push for no apparent reason. The fans are all for Eric as this is evil foreigner vs. not so evil foreigner. Thesz Press by Young lets him get in some punches. Young to the floor as I have a feeling the highlights of this match are over already.

Bashir puts on a surfboard hold to waste a lot more time. This is going absolutely nowhere at all and everyone knows it. Young nips up and hammers away and starts a rather generic comeback. Top rope elbow hits for two. Young goes up for a moonsault and misses by literally three and a half feet. That was awful in every sense of the word. Young goes for a sunset flip, the referee kicks Bashir’s arms when he grabs the ropes, match over thank goodness.

Rating: D-. The match was ok I suppose but at the same time it could not have been less interesting. No need at all to have the title be vacant here when they could have had the title change here. The wrestling was boring beyond belief too and the whole thing just did not work whatsoever. Boring match all the way through and I couldn’t wait for it to end.

Not that it matters as this was overturned as well. Young would pin Bashir again at the next Impact but the title was in a tournament because TNA. Anyway, we’ll jump ahead to Bound For Glory 2009 where Young was starting to become more serious and had a Legends Title shot. Eric was the leader of the World Elite stable at this point, which was a group of guys from other countries that weren’t getting the respect they deserved. This didn’t go very far as you might have guessed.

Legends Title: Kevin Nash vs. Eric Young vs. Hernandez

Nash has the title here if I forgot to mention that. Hernandez went from being the hottest thing in the world to this. In a year the Legends Title went from Legends to Global to TV. Hernandez, still in the khaki shorts here, beats up both guys to start us off. BIG shoulder block puts Young on the floor. This is basically Hernandez beats up two guys until we get to the conflict between the heels match.

Solid heat on Young. Match is far from that though. And there’s the issue between the heels as Young insists it was just instinct. Hernandez hits a pretty weak missile dropkick to Nash as this is just a boring match. It’s not really horrible but it’s just totally not interesting at all. Big dive by Super Mex to try to make this more interesting. This has zero flow to it at all and it’s hurting badly. Young hits a big elbow on Hernandez and pulls Nash’s straps down. He sets for the Jackknife and Young rams Hernandez’s head into Nash’s balls for the pin. Pay no attention to Nash’s shoulder being WAY up.

Rating: D-. Not a bad match exactly but just not interesting at all. This was a weird one as they were trying but the styles just totally did not mesh. Like I said it’s not horrible but it’s just there. No flow or story being told really and while the ending was somewhat creative it just never amounted to anything and didn’t work at all.

Young would join the Band and win the Tag Team Titles under the Freebird Rule….until Scott Hall got arrested again, meaning the titles were stripped because the other two members couldn’t defend them for some reason. After ANOTHER comedy angle with the bisexual Orlando Jordan, Young would get a TV Title shot on the May 26, 2011 episode of Impact.

TV Title: Eric Young vs. Gunner

Young has the title itself because Gunner stole back the wrong belt last week. I guess the whole “one is black and one is red” thing is too hard to keep track of. They reenact the Fingerpoke of Doom but Young rolls him up for the pin and the title at 32 seconds. Whatever man, whatever.

After losing the title to Robbie E., Young would hook up with ODB and challenge for the Knockouts Tag Team Titles on Impact, March 8, 2012.

Knockout Tag Titles: Eric Young/ODB vs. Gail Kim/Madison Rayne

Eric starts with Gail but ODB tags herself in. Gail runs and is promptly clotheslined. Off to Madison who looks great in red. The champs work over ODB with some double teaming. Madison takes a clothesline to the ribs which was supposed to be a spear I think. Either way it allows the double tag and Eric locks up with the referee. Eric puts both girls in an airplane spin and ODB clotheslines them both down. There go Eric’s pants and Madison hits Eric with a title, knocking him onto Gail for the pin and the titles at 5:48.

Rating: D. I hate this angle. I’ve made that quite clear over the past few months and I don’t think it really requires a lot of explanation. Eric Young and ODB are supposed to be funny but they aren’t. It’s the most forced comedy I’ve seen in a very long time. It’s like taking the ingredients of a cake and putting them on a table and calling it a cake. It doesn’t quite work.

While holding the titles, Young would take a leave of absence to host a fishing show on Animal Planet. He would return as a surprise partner at Lockdown 2013.

Lethal Lockdown

TNA: Sting, Magnus, Samoa Joe, Eric Young, James Storm
Aces and 8’s: Mr. Anderson, D-Von, Doc, Mike Knux, Garrett Bischoff

This has some interesting rules. Two men (Anderson and Magnus) start things off and fight for three minutes. After those three minutes, Aces and 8’s (they won a series of matches on Thursday) get a man advantage for two minutes. Then TNA sends in its second man to even it up for two minutes. Aces and 8’s then get another advantage for two more minutes. They alternate until everyone is in and then it’s one fall to a finish.

Magnus pounds Anderson down in the corner to start before hitting a clothesline. Anderson sends him into the cage though to take over as we have less than a minute before someone else comes in. Off to a chinlock by Anderson to kill the time until Knux makes it 2-1. Also remember that the match can’t end until all ten men are in the match. A sidewalk slam and legdrop floor Magnus as this is one sided so far.

Samoa Joe is in to tie things up and TNA takes over for a bit. The former tag champions continue to work well together by taking the bikers apart. Anderson and Knux are beaten down until Garrett Bischoff comes in to make it 3-2. The fans tell Garrett that he can’t wrestle as Magnus and Joe beat him up as well. Anderson and Knux finally get up and save their partner as Eric Young is in to make it 3-3. Oh wait he has to strip first.

As is the case with every other period, the team with the latest man in takes over. D-Von is in to make it 4-3 Aces and 8’s and the numbers game takes over for the bikers again. Joe fights back with some palm shots to Anderson in the corner but D-Von knocks him down again to take over. The fans want Sting but they get James Storm instead. Storm cleans house with Closing Times and Last Calls but they don’t mean much at this point.

House continues to be cleaned until Doc is in to round out Aces and 8’s. Doc takes over for Team TNA with his power stuff and the match slows down a lot. Here’s Sting with two garbage cans full of weapons to finalize things, meaning it’s now one fall to a finish. Team TNA takes over with a bunch of weapon shots as I guess there’s no roof this year for a change. It’s all Team TNA at this point as the match slows down a bit. Garrett Bischoff gets worn out by Joe via a trashcan.

Sting holds Anderson for Young but Young almost hits Sting by mistake. The break lets the bikers take over with Doc chokeslamming Young. Magnus and Storm come back to take over, sending Garrett running to the top of the cage. They chase after him, resulting in I think Doc and Knux making the save. Joe powerbombs ALL FIVE GUYS down in a big Tower of Doom before putting Anderson in an STF but Doc makes the save. TNA takes over again with Sting hitting the Death Drop on Knox, but he doesn’t cover. Instead he sends Young to the top of the cage for an elbow drop for the pin at 26:27.

Rating: B. The problem of the ring being too small to hold ten guys still exists, but as someone with a bad fear of heights I’m very glad to see them not have the roof on the cage. It’s a risk they just don’t need to take and the Tower of Doom spot was more than able to make up for it. Very solid match here but Aces and 8’s continue to fall further into the abyss.

The return wouldn’t mean much as Young would go and film more fishing. While he was around briefly, the Knockouts Tag Team Titles were finally stripped and retired as they hadn’t been defended on TV in about a year. Young would then hook up with Joseph Park to prove that Park was Abyss. Here’s a match from that period, on November 7, 2013’s Impact.

Bad Influence vs. Eric Young/Joseph Park

Eric gets double teamed to start but sends Bad Influence into each other. Park comes in for some work on the arm but it’s back to Young for an Ultimo Dragon headstand in the corner. Kaz is sent to the floor for a suicide dive from Eric and a cross body back inside gets two. Young is sent to the corner for a Flair Flip plus some strutting on the apron, only to have Kaz knock him out to the floor. Back inside and Bad Influence lays him out with Daniels getting two off a clothesline to the back of the head.

A Kaz distraction prevents the referee from seeing the hot tag to Park but Young ducks a clothesline, sending Bad Influence into each other again. Now the hot tag brings in Park and there’s a Boston Crab on Kaz. Daniels makes the save but everything breaks down. Daniels whips Young knees first into the steps before picking up the bell ringer’s hammer. That goes nowhere so he picks up the Appletini to blind Park, allowing Kaz to crucifix him for the pin at 4:38.

Rating: D. Just a match here for the most part with nothing significant happening at all. We’ve seen these teams fight several times now and nothing has really been accomplished as a result. The only interesting thing here is the difference in comedy. Young and Park have hammered their jokes so far into the ground that they haven’t been funny for months. Bad Influence on the other hand at least keeps their comedy moving, which keeps them feeling much fresher. It’s a nice breather.

Then Eric Young was a main event guy, and would be in a gauntlet match on April 10, 2014’s Impact for a future World Title shot.

Gauntlet Match

It’s basically a ten man Royal Rumble. James Storm is #1 and Gunner is #2 and of course the brawl is on in the aisle. They get inside with Gunner avoiding a middle rope ax handle and taking him into the corner for a stomping. Storm is in even more trouble until Bobby Roode comes in at #3 to give him a breather. Beer Money reunites for a bit but Gunner shrugs off the ten rams into the top turnbuckle. Bully Ray is #4 and cleans house as you would expect him to. A double suplex has no effect though and he clotheslines Beer Money down.

Gunner and Ray load up What’s Up to Storm but Roode makes the save Ethan Carter III comes in at #5 to give the heels an advantage. Ray shrugs everything off and chops away but Roode punches him down in the corner. No one has been eliminated yet. Carter and Roode try to toss Ray until Bobby Lashley is in at #6. The big man cleans house and hammers on all the heels until Gunner, Ray and Bobby have a three way standoff. That goes nowhere and they keep beating up the villains.

Abyss is #7 and cleans house but Ray tries to toss him. Magnus comes out for commentary as we take a break. Back with Sanada having entered and Eric Young entering at I believe #9. No eliminations yet. Everyone fights against the ropes and teases a few eliminations but no one is really close. Willow is #10 and we get a showdown with Carter. A Twisting Stunner has Carter in trouble as Spud wheelchairs down to ringside, only to pop up and pull Willow down for the elimination.

Abyss chokeslams Sanada and throws him out but walks into a spear from Lashley. Roode throws the bald Bobby out though, only to get tossed by Ray. We’re down to Ray, Gunner, Storm, Carter, Abyss and Young. Ray is about to go off on Carter but Roode trips him up, allowing Carter to throw him out and get us down to five. Storm nails a superkick to Gunner and easily throws him out.

The three heels team up on Young but he skins the cat and eliminates Carter on the way back in. Abyss lays him out again though and the double teaming continues. Eric trips both of them up though and actually hits the top rope elbow on Abyss. Storm takes him right back down with the Backstabber though, followed by an Orton Elevated DDT. The Last Call misses though and Young throws him out. Abyss hits Shock Treatment on Eric but can’t get him out. Young fights back with some right hands and an ax handle, followed by a clothesline for the win and title shot at 26:21.

Rating: D+. ERIC YOUNG? This is the guy they’re giving a title match to? Not Gunner, Ray, Joe, or ANYONE ELSE??? They have like five PPVs a year and the guy who was doing a Dr. Frankenstein gimmick earlier in the year is getting one of the main event slots? He’s more bearable when he’s serious but my goodness this matches my head hurt.

Eric calls out MVP post match. The boss comes out after a break and Eric says he does a great job. Young isn’t a doctor but since this is live TV, anything can happen. What MVP just saw was Eric earning a title shot. This is live TV though and Eric is feeling crazy. He wants his title shot TONIGHT. MVP asks if he’s sure and says it’s on. Magnus says that’s fine because everything abides by his rules. MVP says there are no Magnus Rules in effect, meaning the title changes hands on a countout or DQ and Abyss is banned from ringside. If anyone interferes, they’re fired on the spot.

From later in the night.

TNA World Title: Eric Young vs. Magnus

Eh why not. It worked at Wrestlemania XXX. Young scores with a quick dropkick and flips over the corner before strutting down the apron. Apparently Young has a bad arm coming into this to really hammer in the similarities. Magnus avoids a charge into the corner and sends Eric out to the floor with a big running knee. Back in and Eric sends Magnus to the floor, only to get nailed as he tries a suicide dive.

Magnus sends him into the steps and we take a break. Back with the champion getting two off a gutwrench suplex and we hit a sleeper on Young. Eric is quickly out of the hold but gets caught in a camel clutch to work on the back as well as the bad arm. Young powers up into an electric chair and both guys are down. Back up and some forearms and a clothesline drop Magnus. The arm seems fine at the moment. Eric tries a wheelbarrow slam into a neckbreaker but mostly drops Magnus on the way down.

The top rope elbow gets two and Magnus nails the Michinoku Driver for the same. He brings the belt into the ring but the referee takes it away. Young loads up a Death Valley Driver but gets hit low for two. Magnus is livid and gets caught in a crucifix for two. Eric comes back with a piledriver for the pin and the title at 13:05.

Rating: C. Eric Young is the TNA World Champion. Yes it’s a blatant ripoff of Daniel Bryan on Sunday, but Eric Young hasn’t earned the spot like Bryan has. He’s a comedy guy that has kept a job for a long time. That doesn’t mean he should be the World Champion. I’m assuming this doesn’t make it past Sacrifice, but I’ve only been able to tolerate Young for this many years. Having him as World Champion is too far for me.

As you can see, Eric Young hasn’t exactly been the most serious wrestler in the world over his career, which is why the title reign at the end didn’t work for me. There’s nothing wrong with being a comedy guy, but I would have liked to see him do something different every now and then. I don’t mind Young when he’s serious, but six weeks of being serious isn’t enough of a time to become World Champion. His reign wasn’t bad though so it wasn’t a disaster.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 30, 2014
Location: XL Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

Things have changed after last night’s Money in the Bank show but it was pretty much what people expected. John Cena won the World Title while Seth Rollins became Mr. Money in the Bank. I can’t help but think Cena’s reign is just until we get to Summerslam where Brock can destroy him and take the title. Battleground is in three weeks so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the ladder matches last night.

Here’s the Authority to get things going. Stephanie says she was born in Hartford before going into a discussion of Daniel Bryan’s announcement last night. However, the Authority is about the future going forward, much like Seth Rollins who became Mr. Money in the Bank. HHH talks about John Cena winning the ladder match and proving that he’s an A+ player.

Cena comes out to the usual reaction with the titles wrapped around his neck like an untied scarf. Stephanie gets cut off so John can say the Authority won’t give Bryan a title shot but Cena would love to. That starts up a huge YES chant but Stephanie has a different question. She asks how many people here are gamers. The reason she asks is because Cena is going to be on the cover of the WWE 2K15 video game. The banner unfolds and Stephanie dances to Cena’s music in a cute bit.

Cena says that’s very nice but hang on a minute. The Authority are being way too nice to him because he saw them right after he won those titles. He shows us a shot of them looking crushed after the match ended but Stephanie says it was because of Randy Orton’s injuries. Cena says that’s because they have Orton in their pocket, just like Seth Rollins.

HHH tries to talk like a Dr. of Thuganomics (seriously) before saying all this can go away really fast if Cena doesn’t do it with respect. Cena would rather do it the hard way if it means doing it by himself. HHH says he’d have it no other way, which is why Cena is defending the title in a fourway at Battleground.

After Stephanie explains the rules, HHH announces Kane, Orton and Roman Reigns. Just for fun, tonight let’s have Cena/Reigns vs. Kane/Orton. Cena says he’ll earn the titles again at Battleground and brings up Stephanie being thrown in the pool of whatever that was last week. Cena goes to leave but HHH says that if Cena survives the fourway, there’s always a plan B. Rollins comes out next to Cena, briefcase in hand.

Seth Rollins vs. Rob Van Dam

Van Dam quickly sends Seth outside before a big kick to the head staggers Rollins again. Rob fires off some shoulders to the back before putting on an old school abdominal stretch. He switches it up to a freaky looking double leg lock but Rollins makes the ropes and heads outside as we go to a break. Back with Van Dam hammering away but getting tripped into a half crab.

Rob injured his leg last night so there’s actually additional some psychology to this. Ropes are quickly grabbed and Van Dam comes back with clotheslines and a kick to the face, setting up Rolling Thunder for two. The split legged moonsault to Rollins’ back gets two but he grabs a legdrag to take over again. Rollins loads up the buckle bomb but Rob counters into a hurricanrana into the corner. The Five Star is ready but Rollins rolls to the floor, only to get taken down by a big dive from the top. As they come back in, Rollins twists the knee again to set up the curb stomp for the pin at 11:45.

Rating: B-. This worked really well and was one of Van Dam’s best matches in a very long time. He was actually doing stuff other than just the regular moveset so the match worked much better than usual. Rollins getting a win over a former World Champion is always a good thing and the match was a solid effort.

Post match Rollins says the briefcase proves him right over Ambrose because this is his golden ticket. Ambrose pops up on screen and says from one scumbag to another that this isn’t over. Plan A failed miserable last night when Rollins’ daddy had to send Uncle Kane out to save him. It might be more fun this way because Ambrose is going to be right there every time Rollins tries to cash in. That briefcase doesn’t have a contract inside because it’s full of TNT. Every time Rollins tries to case in, it’s going to blow up in his face.

Here are Rusev and Lana with something to say. Lana wants the USA chants to stop and talks about how there is only one superpower. She asks who will be the next American to try to stop him and Rusev speaks some Russian. The answer is the one that should have been here months ago: Jack Swagger.

Colter goes on a great rant about how Boris and Natasha can say this in America because they’re taking advantage of the Freedom of Speech. Lana said that nothing can stop the Rusev Crush but Colter thinks a Real American could do it. WE THE PEOPLE gets the loudest reaction of Swagger’s career and the boys are ready to go but Lana stops him. A LET’S GO SWAGGER chant starts and Rusev tries to get in a cheap shot. Swagger comes back with some armdrags of all things and the Russians bail.

Sheamus/Usos vs. Wyatt Family

Jey and Rowan get things going and a clothesline sends Jey to the floor and use to a very quick break. Back with Rowan cranking on Jimmy’s neck before Bray hits his running splash in the corner. Jimmy finally comes back with a Whisper in the Wind to Harper, allowing for the hot tag to Sheamus. Rowan gets sent to the apron for the ten forearms to the chest until Harper makes a save. Sheamus dives off the top to take the Family down before powerslamming Erick in the ring.

Wyatt offers a distraction though and Rowan sends Sheamus to the floor. Harper kicks Sheamus’ head off and the Wyatts take over. Rowan gets two off a splash and puts on the double fist head squeeze. It’s back to Bray who runs into a boot but knocks Sheamus out to the floor. A JBL chant starts up because the fans are bored I guess. Back in and Harper superkicks Sheamus down for two as the announcers ignore the crowd for a change.

Sheamus finally grabs the Irish Curse on Harper and makes the tag off to Jey as house is cleaned. A big dive takes Harper out and a pair of kicks to the face get two. Sheamus Brogue Kicks Rowan down and Jey hits a dive to take him out. Bray plants Sheamus with a release Rock Bottom and avoids a superkick from Jimmy, allowing Harper to hit the discus lariat for the pin at 13:07.

Rating: C+. Good but not great match here as the Wyatts will get another shot at the titles in theory. Harper continues to blow my mind every time he’s out there, but Bray makes me sad. The guy’s incredible push in the spring has been totally wasted and he hasn’t won anything of note in months. He isn’t being depushed but he just needs to do SOMETHING.

Stephanie interrupts Nikki Bella in the back and puts the Bellas in a tag match against the Funkadactyls. Since Brie is gone though, it just has to be a handicap match.

Here’s Bo Dallas who asks for sixty seconds of silence for Bad News Barrett and Daniel Bryan who can’t compete at the moment. He actually kneels for about sixty seconds before showing us a clip of him interacting with Bryan on last night’s pre-show. We go into the next match with Bo still on the stage.

Nikki Bella vs. Funkadactyls

Cameron gets things going as the announcers try to get bomb.com over as a catchphrase. Nikki fights off Cameron to start because even Nikki is better than she is. Naomi comes in with a huge high cross body and the reverse DDT for the pin at 1:35.

The Funkadactyls are about to fight post match.

We look at Barrett’s shoulder being injured, which will put him out for several months. The Intercontinental Title is now vacant and will be decided in a battle royal at Battleground. This brings out Paul Heyman for his usual talking points and to introduce Cesaro as the first entrant in the battle royal.

Cesaro vs. Kofi Kingston

Cesaro now has a black robe. Kofi is in the battle royal as well and comes out with a bad limp. Cesaro slams Kingston down with ease but gets sent to the floor for a BIG flip dive. Back in and a springboard gets caught in a Cesaro backbreaker. We hit the chinlock on Kofi before Cesaro hammers away, only to get rolled up for two as we take a break. Back….and the match ended during the break? Apparently that’s the case so we’ll say it ended at about 7:30.

Rating: D+. I don’t remember this happening in about the last ten years or so but it opens up a few more possibilities. I guess they’re pushing the App and to be fair this was a meaningless match so I don’t mind that I didn’t see how the fall took place. Kofi winning is a surprise, even though I have no idea how he won.

Cesaro DESTROYS Kofi with a hard throw into the crowd, Swiss Death, a throw over the table that wipes Cole out, and about 15 postings in a row. A replay shows that Kofi won with a rollup out of an electric chair.

Santino is having a party but no one showed up. Adam Rose and his Party shows up with a case of Twisted Tea, which I guess is a sponsor.

Damien Sandow comes out as Vince McMahon and does one heck of an impression. He hits all of the catchphrases and has the voice down perfectly. Sandow is in the Intercontinental Title battle royal but Stephanie interrupts and freaks out on Damien. He gets to face a giant also in the battle royal right now.

Great Khali vs. Damien Sandow

Chop, pin, four seconds.

It’s time for the return of a former WWE Champion and it’s….the Miz. He brags about being in Marine 4 and says he’s back to prove everyone wrong. People have called him a fluke but he’s here to show them that he isn’t a fluke. Miz isn’t leaving until he main events Wrestlemania again and people are begging him not to go. He’s finally cut off by the returning Chris Jericho in the real surprise. Miz rants about being the Marine and a huge star but gets taken down by a Codebreaker. Jericho says that felt great but we’ve got Wyatts. A triple team beatdown sets up Sister Abigail to leave Jericho laying.

Fandango vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler tries to start fast but gets sent into the corner and dropped face first onto the mat for two. Fandango gets a kiss from Layla but Dolph hammers away with right hands. Summer, looking great in a pink dress, comes to the ring and kisses Ziggler who does the same right back. Fandango isn’t sure what to do so it’s the Zig Zag for the pin at 2:36.

Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. Stardust/Goldust

Goldust hammers on Axel to start but Ryback gets in a cheap shot from the apron to take over. We hit the chinlock on Goldust for a bit before he counters the Meat Hook with a spinebuster. The hot tag brings in Stardust who cleans with clotheslines all around plus a springboard dropkick. A downward spiral is enough for the pin on Axel at 3:00.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here again as Goldust and Stardust are already getting dull. I do like Cody getting a new finisher but it would have been nice if it was something a bit less generic. Ryback and Axel have lost every bit of their momentum from winning all of those matches against Goldust and whoever he had as a partner.

Here’s Paige with something to say. People have been telling her that she needs to go back down to NXT because she isn’t ready to be a champion but she has proven everyone wrong. This brings out the returning AJ Lee who says she wants to prove that she can get the title back. She congratulates Paige on being champion but Paige won’t shake her hand due to it being exactly what Paige did in her debut. The Title is on the line right now.

Divas Title: AJ Lee vs. Paige

Paige takes her into the corner to start and poses a bit. She shouts that this is her house now but gets small packaged out of nowhere to give AJ the title back at 1:00.

John Cena/Roman Reigns vs. Kane/Randy Orton

Cena and Orton get things going and the fans are already on John. Feeling out process to start with Cena getting the better of it. Reigns comes in and Orton bails to the corner for the power showdown. Kane is sent to the floor and we take our last break. Back with Reigns in trouble and Orton cranking on a chinlock. Kane gets in a few shots but Reigns nails a clothesline to start a comeback.

It only lasts a few seconds though as Orton sends him to the floor for a clothesline from Kane. Back in and Kane puts on a chinlock but Reigns powers up. They slug it out and a Samoan drop is enough to put Kane down, allowing Reigns to make the hot tag. House is cleaned and Kane takes the ProtoBomb but Orton nails Cena with an RKO. Reigns Superman Punches Kane down though, leaving Orton and Reigns to fight up the ramp. Kane sends Cena to the floor and nails him with the steps for the DQ at 11:57.

Rating: C-. This was pretty dull stuff and was only there to build towards the fourway. Kane isn’t going to win the title and everyone knows it but at least he’s getting a nice push instead of looking like everyone else. It was just a standard main event tag match and not a very good one at that.

Post match Kane tombstones Cena and knocks him out, drawing out Rollins for a cash in. HHH says ring the bell but Ambrose hits the ring to attack Rollins before the bell. Ambrose chases Rollins into the crowd and HHH is livid. Kane gets a chair to go after Cena but Reigns comes back and spears him down. Roman and HHH stare each other down and the fans are into it to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The wrestling wasn’t the best in the world here but a lot of stuff was happening on this show. We had three returns, a new champion, a title vacated, and the start of a nice new feud for someone that needs it. This show took care of a lot of things they’ve needed to get around to and it worked really well as a boost. Battleground feels like a throwaway show but they seem to actually be putting some effort into it on the way. That’s a rare thing but it’s very welcome. Not a great show but it got some stuff done.

Results
Seth Rollins b. Rob Van Dam – Curb stomp
Wyatt Family b. Usos/Sheamus – Discus lariat to Jimmy Uso
Funkadactyls b. Nikki Bella – Reverse DDT
Kofi Kingston b. Cesaro – Rollup
Great Khali b. Damien Sandow – Chop
Dolph Ziggler b. Fandango – Zig Zag
Stardust/Goldust b. Ryback/Curtis Axel – Downward spiral to Axel
John Cena/Roman Reigns b. Kane/Randy Orton via DQ when Kane used the steps

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Due to Barrett’s shoulder injury.  There will be a battle royal at Battleground for the title.

Money in the Bank 2014
Date: June 29, 2014
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

Tonight is one of those nights that is going to change everything all at once. The World Title is vacant and will be hanging above the ring like the briefcase normally would. In addition to that we have a regular briefcase ladder match, meaning we’ll see the future of the company for the net few months decided tonight. Let’s get to it.

As per the pre-show, Bad News Barrett is officially out of the ladder match with a shoulder injury.

Instead of a match on the pre-show, we’ve got an interview with Daniel Bryan. He’s already out of the neck brace and does a full YES chant around the ring. The fans come unglued for him and Bryan is clearly overwhelmed by their reaction. Bryan: “Shh.” Fans: “NO! NO! NO!” Bryan: “Well ok. YES! YES! YES!”

Cole gets right to the point: when can we expect him back in the ring? Bryan doesn’t know because his arm strength isn’t back and there’s talk of another surgery. He promises that he’ll be back and better than ever though. It wouldn’t be a Daniel Bryan story if he didn’t have a setback, and he’s coming back to win his title.

It’s time for some Twitter questions. Bryan thinks Reigns will win tonight and felt disrespected when he was stripped of the title. He finds it interesting that he was stripped of the titles because no one could beat him. This brings out Bo Dallas of all people for this line: “I know you can’t compete tonight. That’s got to be a pain in the neck!” Bryan can still climb the ladder of life and make his way back to the top. All he has to do is Bo-lieve! Bryan steals the line from the NXT fans and tells Bo to leave.

The opening video is about the climb and how it is more important tonight than ever before as it will decide the future.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Wyatt Family

The Usos are defending and have been feuding with the Wyatts for over two months now without actually defending the titles against them. The children’s choir sings a few lines of He’s Got the Whole World before the music changes to some slow rock music. It’s far better than the banjo music they had on Raw. Jey and Harper get things going and Luke gets kicked in the ribs to start. The Usos speed things up with some tagging but Harper dropkicks Jimmy down.

Jimmy gets caught in the wrong corner for some double teaming but he finally dropkicks Rowan through the ropes, setting up a big dive off the barricade to take him down again. Back in and a high cross body gets two on Erick and it’s off to Jey vs. Harper. Luke quickly sends Jey through the ropes before catapulting him throat first into the bottom rope for two. Rowan puts on a claw hold for another two before it’s off to a neck crank.

Jey avoids a legdrop but Harper breaks up the tag. A legdrop gets two on Jey but Rowan misses a splash and goes shoulder first into the post. Jey finally makes the hot tag to send Jimmy in to face Harper. Things speed way up and both Wyatts take Samoan drops. The Umaga attack nails Rowan and a Whisper in the Wind gets two on Luke. Two straight superkicks get a near fall on Harper but Jey dives into Rowan’s arms. Jimmy dives onto both of them but walks into a shot from Harper as he comes back in.

Jey saves his brother from a double something and Jimmy rolls up Harper for a VERY close two. Harper powerbombs Jimmy for an even closer two before diving through the ropes at Jey. Jimmy’s dive is caught by Rowan so Harper dives through the ropes again to take Jimmy down. Back in and something like a double chokeslam (if you lift under the arms instead of by the throat) gets two on Jey as Jimmy has to make a save. Harper is kicked to the floor so Rowan goes up top, only to get crotched out of desperation. The Usos superplex Rowan down and both add splashes for the pin to retain at 13:17.

Rating: B+. This was AWESOME and a great opener. Luke Harper continues to blow my mind every time he goes insane out there and those double dives should not be coming from someone his size. The Usos are a great team and work so well together with a lot of that coming from being brothers. You can’t create chemistry like that.

We recap the Shield split, leading into Rollins vs. Ambrose.

Ambrose says he wants to grab Rollins by his new tie and rip him apart before climbing the ladder and grabbing the briefcase. The question is should he climb the ladder and grab the briefcase or use the ladder to bash Rollins’ face in? Case or face? Case or face? Eh why not both?

Divas Title: Naomi vs. Paige

Paige is defending and Naomi gets the shot due to beating Paige on Main Event. There seems to be a respect between them but Cameron and Naomi have been having issues lately. Naomi takes Paige down to start and slams her down from the apron to the floor. A big running dive over the top rope crushes Paige again but Cameron doesn’t look happy. Back in and they trade some quick rollups for two each before Naomi puts on a modified surfboard.

Naomi goes up but slips off the top, only to pull Paige out to the floor with her. They get back in at eight and Paige grabs a stump puller of all things. Cameron is finally smiling. Paige lets the hold go and Naomi snaps off a quick hurricanrana. The Rear View connects for a near fall but Paige blocks the split legged moonsault with knees to the ribs. Naomi tries the reverse DDT but Paige spins out and hits a fisherman’s DDT for the pin at 7:03.

Rating: C+. They tried something different here and it worked for the most part. They’ve been letting the wrestlers wrestle a bit more lately and it’s getting better every time. Naomi vs. Cameron isn’t going to do much for anyone but it’s what you have to expect from reality show stars?

Cameron cheers at her partner losing.

The expert panel (host Renee Young, Booker T., Alex Riley and Christian) talks about what we’ve seen so far and make predictions for the ladder matches.

Money in the Bank by the numbers video.

Here’s Damien Sandow as Paul Revere to warm us that the half wits are coming. That would be the Rosebuds for those of you that aren’t smart enough to understand him. Rose comes out and says his usual stuff before backdropping Sandow to the floor.

Adam Rose vs. Damien Sandow

Rose hammers away with his comedy stuff to start but Sandow trips him up and rams Adam’s face into the mat. The fans sing Rose’s song as Sandow hooks a chinlock. Sandow hits the Wind-Up elbow (Sandow: “The elbow is coming! The elbow is coming!”) and it’s back to the chinlock. You’re Welcome (full nelson slam) gets two but Sandow misses a middle rope moonsault, setting up the Party Foul for the pin at 4:18.

Rating: D. Just a Raw match here but Sandow got more offense than he’s gotten in months. Rose needs a feud against someone not named Jack Swagger but he might have already reached his peak. He’s still good for a lower card act for the song though so he’s worth keeping around until he gets something to do.

Jon Stewart from the Daily Show is here.

We get some old school interviews from each guy in the MITB contract match.

Seth Rollins says he’ll shock the world again. Plan A is he wins the contract. Plan B is he wins the contract.

Rob Van Dam says he’s the winner.

Kofi Kingston says he’ll fly high and everyone else will have trouble in paradise.

Dolph Ziggler says lightning strikes twice tonight.

Zeb Colter says tonight another great patriot will have his moment in Boston.

Rob Van Dam vs. Seth Rollins vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Jack Swagger vs. Dean Ambrose

Everyone but Kofi and Van Dam head to the floor to start but Kofi is quickly outside as well. Swagger goes for a climb but Kofi is back in to dropkick him down. The Boom Drop on a ladder crushes Swagger and Kofi goes up. Ambrose shoves the ladder over but Kofi lands on the top rope and springboards down onto the rest of the people in the match. Rollins and Ambrose fight over who gets to climb with Ambrose slamming Seth down. A ladder is laid in the corner and Dean suplexes Rollins onto the steel.

Kofi and Dolph climb the ladder but have to deal with Swagger. They climb again after sending Jack to the floor but fight down to the mat where Rollins nails them with another ladder. Van Dam kicks Rollins in the face and puts a ladder over the bottom rope. Rolling Thunder crushes Rollins onto the ladder and Ambrose is kicked to the floor. Ziggler and Ambrose are dispatched as well with Swagger taking the Five Star. Lawler points out how meaningless that is as Rob finally realizes he needs to climb.

Kofi comes back for a save but takes too long trying to superplex Van Dam, allowing Swagger to hit Kingston in the back with a ladder. Jack sets up a ladder in the corner in front of Van Dam but gets headbutted down to the mat. Rollins breaks up a Five Star attempt but has to fight out of a superplex attempt. Swagger climbs up and powerbombs Van Dam down but Dean climbs the ladder and superplexes Rollins down. Both guys are down but Ambrose grabs a ladder, only to have Ziggler dropkick it into his face.

Swagger throws Kofi around and hits the Vader Bomb onto the ladder onto Kofi. Van Dam makes a save but Ambrose and Rollins pull them both down. Seth and Dean climb up and slug it out on top of the ladder with Rollins being knocked down. Swagger makes a save and pulls Ambrose down, only to have Dean counter into a DDT off the ladder. Ambrose comes up holding his shoulder and the doctor says he dislocated it. He quickly walks off under his own power but isn’t happy about it at all.

Rollins goes up but Rob makes the save. They fight on the ladder and Kofi bridges a ladder between the ropes and into the standing ladder. Van Dam falls and seems to have hurt his leg. Kofi backdrops Rollins onto the bridge and almost gets the case but Ziggler makes a last second save. Ziggler hammers away on Swagger as Van Dam is back up, only to take a Fameasser.

The Zig Zag to Kofi sends both guys onto the ladder but Dolph is still able to climb. Swagger puts him in the ankle lock but Ziggler still climbs in a cool visual. Jack gets kicked away but Rollins his Ziggler in the injured ankle. Rollins climbs but Ambrose comes back and destroys him with the chair. Dean goes up but Kane’s pyro goes off and he makes the save. A chokeslam plants Ambrose and the safest looking tombstone I’ve seen in years knocks him out. With Kane playing defense, Rollins gets the case at 21:23.

Rating: B. Good but not great match here. One thing that stands out to me more than anything else though is how much easier this match went with fewer people. There were a lot of times where people were able to stand around, meaning there wasn’t so much insanity that you couldn’t keep up with it. Some of the earlier spots were scary at times but they settled down and got a great reaction for Ambrose, which is a really good sign.

The Authority comes out to celebrate with Rollins.

Orton says he doesn’t need the same help Rollins needed. He has nothing to say about Roman Reigns.

Goldust/Stardust vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Axel now wears a singlet but gets quickly taken down by both Dusts. An armdrag sends him over for a tag off to Ryback who gets double teamed very quickly. Goldust comes in for an atomic drop and kick to the side of the head but Axel gets in a shot from the apron. Goldust gets hammered by Ryback and the middle rope splash/elbow combination gets two for Axel.

We hit the chinlock as JBL sounds like his voice is starting to go. Ryback comes in with a slam but misses a splash in the corner, allowing for the hot tag to Stardust. House is cleaned and Stardust DDTs Ryback for two. Shell Shock is countered into Cross Rhodes for two with Axel making a diving save. Stardust sends the partners into each other and rolls up Ryback for the pin at 7:40.

Rating: D+. Another Raw match here and there was no way the Dusts were going to lose this early into their run. The team could go one of two ways in the coming months but the clear thing is how into the role Cody is. The visual of his face is awesome and the character is already working.

Goldust and Stardust dispatch an attacking Axel after the match.

We recap the love triangle between Summer Rae, Layla and Fandango. Summer had been Fandango’s dance but Fandango dumped her and picked up Layla. She saw him kissing Summer recently and now they’re fighting over him.

Fandango is in the back when the girls come up and present their attributes to him for lack of a better term.

Rusev vs. Big E.

Big E. hammers away to start and actually has some early success. Rusev in knocked to the apron but gets up a knee to stop the spear through the ropes. The gutwrench suplex drops Big E. and we hit a chinlock from Rusev. A splash misses though and Big E. gets two off a belly to belly. Rusev charges into the Rock Bottom out of the corner for two and Big E. avoids the jumping superkick. Another suplex sends Rusev to the apron and now the big spear connects. Back in and the straps come down but Rusev kicks him in the side of the ear. The jumping superkick and Accolade keep Rusev undefeated at 7:19.

Rating: C-. Better than last month’s match between these two but it was still nothing special. Rusev needs to move up a step as he’s defeated Big E. twice in a row now. It’s good to see him get tested a bit though and that’s what this match was designed to do. Those kicks still look good too.

The expert panel talks a bit more and we see clips from Bryan’s pre-show speech.

Summer Rae vs. Layla

Fandango is guest referee. It’s a brawl to start with Summer stomping her down into the corner. Layla kicks her into Fandango and puts on a leg lock, drawing a CM Punk chant from the bored crowd. Summer fights out with a bunch of basic offense, only to get her neck snapped across the top rope, setting up a high kick for the pin at 2:59.

We recap the main event, which is taking place because of Bryan’s injury.

WWE Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton vs. Sheamus vs. Roman Reigns vs. Kane vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Bray Wyatt vs. Cesaro

The title is vacant coming in. It’s a huge brawl to start with everyone going for a ladder or each other early on. Bray escape an AA attempt and dives at a ladder to crush Sheamus before hooking up with Cesaro to clean house. Reigns and Orton fight while Sheamus and Kane do the same on opposite sides of the ring. Reigns and Sheamus pick up ladders to crush Kane and pin him underneath the smaller ladder. Del Rio stops Reigns from going up as Cesaro and Sheamus climb. All four start climbing two ladders but Kane breaks it up and cleans house.

Cena comes back in and charges into a chokeslam before Kane cleans out most of the ring. He sets up a ladder in the middle of the ring and tells Orton to go up just like he did with Rollins earlier. Reigns shoves Kane into the ladder for the save but gets jumped by Bray. Cena comes back in with a ProtoBomb to Wyatt, only to walk into Swiss Death. Cesaro and Sheamus slug it out on top of the ladder as Bray spider walks up and shoves the ladder over. The Europeans are left hanging in the air and eventually fall to reset things.

Orton is all ticked off after getting hit with the ladder so he pulls out more ladders. He bridges one between the announce table and apron so he can put Sheamus over the bridge for an Elevated DDT. Back in and Orton throws a ladder to the floor before setting up the big one in the middle. Everyone gets back in and we go into scramble mode with no one getting higher than the second or third rung.

The people all get steadily knocked to the floor until only Kane is left standing. He takes down the big ladder and goes over to fight with Sheamus instead of climbing. Sheamus comes back with the forearms to the chest and White Noise, followed by a Brogue Kick to Cena. Sheamus sets up the big ladder again but Kane makes a save. The Irishman goes up but Cesaro bridges a ladder into the tall one to climb faster for another save. Cena and Del Rio fight to the floor as Reigns lifts up the big ladder with Sheamus and Cesaro on top. The bridged ladder keeps them from falling and Cena pushes it back to level.

Everyone is back in again and Cena is slammed onto the bridged ladder by Wyatt. Kane pulls people off the ladder but gets speared by Roman. Orton sends Reigns into the big ladder and knocks it over though, leaving no standing ladder in the ring. Reigns comes back with Superman Punches all around and the apron boot to Del Rio. HHH is all ticked off and we’re down to Cena vs. Reigns. They slug it out and Cena tries the AA, only to get speared out of his shoes.

Reigns goes up but Orton makes a last second save. With blood on the top of his head from earlier, Orton goes up but Bray takes him down with Sister Abigail. Del Rio stops Bray (and kills the crowd) but Sheamus shoves the ladder over and kicks Del Rio’s head off. An RKO pulls Sheamus off the ladder but Reigns stops Randy’s attempt. Orton is busted open BAD so Reigns rips at the cut and headbutts him a few times. Kane is back in for yet another save though by chokeslamming Reigns off the ladder. Cena grabs Kane for an AA though and Orton gets one as well, allowing Cena to get the titles at 26:30.

Rating: B. They toned down the big spots in this which kept my stomach in better shape this time. These matches are fun but man alive can they be scary at times. Cena winning is going to annoy some people but he’s the most logical choice as Lesnar is waiting in the wings for whoever gets the belt here. Brock vs. Cena will be awesome and is the money match that people will pay to see.

Overall Rating: B. This was a solid show for the most part with the Tag Title match and the ladder matches both delivering, but the rest was pretty meaningless stuff. Still though, those are the only matches that mattered for the most part and they were good enough to make the show solid. Money in the Bank tends to be hard to screw up and this was no exception.

Results
Usos b. Wyatt Family – Superfly splash to Rowan
Paige b. Naomi – Fisherman’s DDT
Adam Rose b. Damien Sandow – Party Foul
Seth Rollins b. Kofi Kingston, Dean Ambrose, Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler and Rob Van Dam – Rollins pulled down the briefcase
Goldust/Stardust b. Ryback/Curtis Axel – Rollup to Ryback
Rusev b. Big E. – Accolade
Layla b. Summer Rae – Kick to the head
John Cena b. Randy Orton, Alberto Del Rio, Sheamus, Roman Reigns, Cesaro, Bray Wyatt and Kane – Cena pulled down the titles

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Smackdown
Date: June 27, 2014
Location: CONSOL Energy Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the final show before the Money in the Bank pay per view so odds are we’re going to see various matches between the participants in the two ladder matches. The build for the show has been acceptable but nothing thrilling for the last few weeks. Then again, a good wrestling show is always entertaining. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

We open with a recap of how we reached the World Title ladder match, complete with a music video.

Here are HHH, Orton and Rollins to get things going. HHH talks about all the eras we’ve seen in WWE history and says we’re currently in the Authority Era because the Authority keeps making history. One way they’re making history is by having the first Money in the Bank ladder match for the WWE Championship and to be the new face of the WWE.

But wait, there’s more. There’s also going to be a ladder match to become the new Mr. Money in the Bank. After Sunday, you’re looking at one heck of a team in front of you. Orton promises to climb the ladder and become World Champion on Sunday, meaning he’s still the face of the WWE. Rollins says he’ll win as well but says there’s a chance that Orton can’t get the job done. Orton thinks Rollins might not win either, but HHH cuts them off, saying it’s either survive against the Authority or thrive with the Authority. That brings him to Dean Ambrose, who is in for some Bad News tonight.

Bad News Barrett vs. Dean Ambrose

Non-title. They circle each other to start until Dean hits the Thesz Press and pounds Barrett out to the floor. Back in and Barrett hits a big boot to take over followed by a neckbreaker for two. Barrett hits his running boot while Ambrose is in the ropes and Dean is knocked to the floor again. We take a break and come back with Dean caught in a chinlock before he quickly fights out and nails some forearms. Barrett runs into a corner elbow but is still able to counter a tornado DDT. Ambrose escapes a pumphandle slam and hits his bouncing clothesline, setting up Dirty Deeds for the pin at 6:45.

Rating: C+. It wasn’t quite the Ziggler match on Monday but this was still better than most matches you get in WWE anymore. They’re actually having a competitive midcard again and it’s really nice to see for a change. Dean getting a clean win is a good thing, though I wish it had been against another opponent.

Post match Swagger comes out and beats up Barrett in retaliation for Barrett hitting the Bull Hammer on Main Event. Ambrose jumps Swagger and pulls out a ladder but they wind up brawling without it. Dean starts getting the better of it but Rollins comes in through the crowd and sends Dean into the steps. A curb stomp leaves Ambrose laying.

Cameron vs. Paige

Non-title. Naomi sits in on commentary. Paige runs her into the corner to start but gets caught with something resembling a Codebreaker for two. Cameron puts on a headscissors as Naomi says Cameron is always talking. A quick Paige Turner gets the pin at 1:17.

Paige and Naomi have a friendly staredown after the match but Cameron jumps the champion again, knocking her into Naomi. Naomi and Paige are about to fight but cooler heads prevail.

The Wyatts pop up on screen with Harper talking about never having nice things but the Usos have what they want. Tick tock tick tock. Bray says his brothers will trample the Usos and a ladder will be his stairway. He’ll take their ornament of power and have it all right in his hands. Imagine a nation of sheep led by a lone wolf.

Bray Wyatt vs. Sheamus

Non-title. Sheamus hammers away in the corner to start and runs Bray over with a shoulder before stopping a charging Wyatt with feet in the corner. The top rope shoulder looks to set up the forearms but Bray bails to the outside. The Family offers a distraction, allowing Bray to knock Sheamus off the apron as we take a break. Back with the Usos at ringside and Bray getting two off something we didn’t see.

Sheamus fights out of a superplex attempt but gets punched off the top rope to the floor. Back in and Bray fires off headbutts in the corner before we hit the chinlock. Sheamus comes out with a running ax handle to the face followed by the forearms. Some more ax handles set up the powerslam but Bray nails a quick splash in the corner followed by the backsplash for two. A mostly botched Irish Curse sets up a top rope knee drop but Sheamus doesn’t cover. Instead he puts on the Cloverleaf, drawing in the Family for the DQ at 8:35 shown of 12:05.

Rating: C-. Basic power brawl here with Sheamus getting in more offense than I was expecting. Bray’s chances of winning on Sunday fall further and further every week, which is a shame as he’s the most interesting guy in the match when he isn’t being jobbed out time and time again.

The Usos immediately come in and the Family is sent running.

Goldust and Stardust accept Ryback/Axel’s challenge for Sunday. Stardust shows up and talks about staring into the sun and how terrifyingly beautiful it is. He talks about other stars but knows that he’s everyone’s favorite. Cody is nailing this so far.

Rob Van Dam/Dolph Ziggler vs. Cesaro/Alberto Del Rio

Heyman is on commentary as Del Rio and Van Dam get things going. A quick monkey flip sends Del Rio flying for two and it’s off to Ziggler for the big elbow drop. Del Rio throws him down though and brings in Cesaro to work on Dolph’s arm. Back to Alberto for a kick to the arm in the corner as Heyman breaks down the strategy for Sunday: “Climb the ladder and get the titles. What a stupid question!”

Ziggler hammers away in the corner and nails a neckbreaker as Heyman turns it into an analogy about asking Hilary Clinton how she’ll become President. Cole of course gets in a jab at Hilary because that’s probably what Cole told him to say. Del Rio kicks Ziggler out to the floor and us to a break. Back with Del Rio holding Ziggler in a chinlock followed by the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Cesaro puts on a chinlock of his own as Cole and Heyman continue their amusing banter about Sunday.

Ziggler fights back and puts on a sleeper but Cesaro rams him into the buckle to escape. Dolph avoids a charge and makes the hot tag to Rob as house is cleaned. Rolling Thunder gets two on Alberto but he nails a Codebreaker to the arm. Rob avoids the corner enziguri and hits the split legged moonsault for two. Swiss Death lays Ziggler out and Rob kicks Cesaro to the floor. The Five Star hits knees though and the armbreaker gives Del Rio the submission at 10:00.

Rating: C. Totally standard and therefore fine upper midcard tag match here which did what it was supposed to do before Sunday. I doubt any of them have a chance at winning on Sunday but it’s nice to see WWE give them some lip service. Also Van Dam continues to job to anyone he can find like he should be doing.

The Usos talk very fast about keeping the titles on Sunday. They can cut some energetic promos.

Lana and Rusev do their thing in the ring, consists of standing there looking intimidating and looking great in a blue suit. You figure out which is which. The theme this week is urban decay in America, which just doesn’t happen in Russia.

Rusev vs. Sin Cara

Total squash of course with Rusev winning via the Accolde in 42 seconds.

Big E. comes out after the match and talks about how America has transformed into a nation that works hard to keep things together. A real man looks his opponent in his eye which is what Big E. does here, but Lana makes Rusev back off. I’d buy this feud a bit more if Rusev hadn’t destroyed Big E. in almost every encounter they’ve had.

We look at the Stephanie vs. Vickie angle from Raw. That’s a great sendoff for Vickie and Stephanie’s YOU’RE FIRED sounded so much like her dad’s it was eerie.

Big E. vs. Rusev and Layla vs. Summer Rae with Fandango as guest referee have been added to the MITB card.

Roman Reigns vs. Kane

Feeling out process to start until Reigns gets two off a running shoulder. A slam gets the same but Reigns lowers his head and gets caught by a running DDT for two. We take a break and come back with Reigns in a chinlock but quickly breaking out. Kane walks into a Samoan drop but he kicks Roman in the face to take over.

The side slam gets two and a frustrated Kane sends him out to the floor. He loads up the announcers’ table but Reigns drives him back first into the edge. Back inside now with Reigns nailing a clothesline followed by some headbutts. The apron kick sets up the Superman Punch but Orton comes out for the DQ at 4:52 shown of 8:22.

Rating: D+. It’s a decent power brawl but it didn’t have the chance to go anywhere. As I’ve said for a few weeks now though, Reigns is looking more like an even footing star every night and it’s getting easy to accept. Reigns beat Kane up here for a lot of the match and was never in any serious trouble. That’s a really interesting sign.

Orton takes the Superman Punch but Reigns walks into a chokeslam. Kane brings in a ladder but Orton isn’t too keen on him climbing up. Kane steps to the side as Orton looks up, allowing him to climb the ladder. JBL is putting the pieces together as Orton takes the belts down (note that they’re attacked to a kind of hanger and Orton took the hanger down, making it less likely that someone would only take one belt) and poses. Orton loads up the Punt on Reigns but gets speared. Kane takes one as well and Reigns holds up the titles to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show did a much better job of what it was supposed to do as Sunday now feels a bit more interesting. On top of that, there are now three more matches on the card, which solves one of the show’s biggest problems. This was no masterpiece or anything but it was an easy way to spend two hours.

Results
Dean Ambrose b. Bad News Barrett – Dirty Deeds
Paige b. Cameron – Paige Turner
Sheamus b. Bray Wyatt via DQ when the Wyatt Family interfered
Alberto Del Rio/Cesaro b. Rob Van Dam/Dolph Ziggler – Cross armbreaker to Van Dam
Rusev b. Sin Cara – Accolade
Roman Reigns b. Kane via DQ when Randy Orton interfered

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This one might split a wig. Today is Mark Henry.

Henry was of course an Olympic weightlifter who became a wrestler when his lifting career ended. After signing with the WWF and training, his first match was at In Your House 10.

Mark Henry vs. Jerry Lawler

Henry is a newcomer to the WWF at this point and was on commentary during Jake Roberts vs. Jerry Lawler last month. Lawler had tried to pour whiskey down recovering alcoholic Roberts’ throat, drawing Henry off commentary for the save. This is Henry’s debut and his chance to prove that he’s the World’s Strongest Man. Lawler spends his entire walk to the ring badmouthing the Olympics (Henry was an Olympic weightlifter) and Henry in general, riling up a crowd as only he can. Lawler may not be the most skilled grappler he is one of the greatest of all time and making a crowd want to chase him down with pitchforks.

Lawler offers to start with a very basic headlock to let Henry get his feet wet. Mark easily counters into a hammerlock and shoves Lawler down, sending pure fear into Lawler. Henry puts on a headlock of his own and Jerry counters the same way Mark did earlier, but Henry counters the counter into another hammerlock. A gorilla press slam sends Lawler down again and his own shoulder block has about the same result.

Henry sidesteps Lawler and sends him flying to the floor in a big crash. Since plans A-C haven’t worked, Lawler pulls out a foreign object and socks Henry in the jaw a few times to take over for the first time. Mark will have none of that though and fires off knees into Jerry’s ribs before finishing him with an over the shoulder backbreaker.

Rating: D. This was what it was. The match was designed to make Henry look like a monster and that’s exactly what it did. That being said, it wasn’t exactly interesting as you can tell Henry is a big strong guy just by looking at him. At least it wasn’t long or anything though and it didn’t get too repetitive.

Henry would then have to take a hiatus to heal injuries (you’ll get used to that phrase) and train more. He would return in 1997 so we’ll pick things up on Raw on March 2, 1998.

European Title: Owen Hart vs. Mark Henry

Slaughter throws the Nation out and Owen starts fast, going after the knees. Chyna strolls out as this has literally been all Owen. Her distraction lets Henry get a shot in and here comes the fat man. Splash in the corner hits as does an elbow for two. Sharpshooter attempt as the power vs. speed match is in full effect. Henry busts out a belly to belly suplex of all things as the crowd is so stunned they’re silent. They’re so stunned that they were silent before the move hit.

Leg drop misses but the Sharpshooter still can’t work. Corner splash misses and Owen fights back with a top rope dropkick to put Henry down. Enziguri hits as we hear about Owen being the most decorated amateur wrestler out of all the Harts. Sharpshooter finally goes on but Chyna distracts him and he lets it go. Up he goes but Chyna shoves him into the bearhug but Chyna hits Henry low to give Owen the win via DQ so that HHH won’t have to face Henry at Mania.

Rating: C-. Just a power vs. speed match here to set up the ending which is fine. There wasn’t much they could do at the time as the match was set in stone and they didn’t want to let the guys go at it before the PPV. This is where the differences shine through between the two shows: back in this era a random match like this was perfectly normal. Today everyone would see it and say it would be a swerve. That’s not good and if it changed things would go way up in value.

Here’s a slightly more famous opponent, from June 1, 1998’s Raw.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Mark Henry vs. Terry Funk

Vince is on commentary so he won’t miss Taker vs. Kane. JR says this is a contrast of styles. Now there’s an understatement. Terry tries to pound on him but a big clothesline puts him down. Out to the floor where Funk’s back goes into the post. Funk manages to send him into the steps and gets a chair. In a SCARY sight, Terry tries an Asai Moonsault but lands on the railing. If there’s a way to fake that I’d love to know what it is. In the ring a splash gets two. A slam and legdrop get two, brother. Funk grabs a small package for two so Henry powerbombs him and splashes him again, finally getting the pin.

Rating: C+. WAY more entertaining than you would have expected it to be. It’s not a great match or anything but Terry is an absolute master at drawing sympathy and making you think that he just might somehow be able to pull off the huge upset. Very fun match even though it only lasted four minutes or so.

At this time, Henry was part of the Nation of Domination. The Rock led the team in their war with DX over the summer. After losing the war, Rock was thrown out, setting up this match at In Your House 25.

Mark Henry vs. The Rock

D’Lo is with Henry here. This is a revenge match after Henry beat up Rock on Raw for bailing on the Nation. Henry dedicates a poem to Chyna, saying he loved her long before the implants and wants to father her children. The place FINALLY wakes up for Rock’s music as he’s the most popular guy in this company not named Austin right now. Rock pounds away on Henry to start and knocks him down with right hands. Rock actually suplexes Henry down for two in an impressive power display.

They head outside with Henry getting in an elbow to the ribs and slamming Rock face first into the announce table. Back in and Rock clotheslines Henry down but Mark comes back with a pair of elbows for two. Rock fights out of the corner with right hands but gets clotheslined down and legdropped for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit but Rock comes back with, what else, right hands to the jaw. A DDT gets two on Mark and Rock easily slams him down. There’s the People’s Elbow but D’Lo distracts Rock from covering. Henry hits a clothesline from behind and a splash for the shocking upset.

Rating: D+. Rock’s power displays were impressive but I have no idea why Henry gets to pin the fastest rising star in the company. No it wasn’t clean but it didn’t need to happen in the first place. Henry never really went anywhere off this win, which makes the whole thing all the stranger. Just an odd decision here.

Henry would become Sexual Chocolate around this time, meaning that he was obsessed with women. Here’s an example of that from In Your House 27.

Tag Titles: Owen Hart/Jeff Jarrett vs. D’Lo Brown/Mark Henry

Jarrett and Owen won the titles from Bossman and Shamrock back in January. Henry reads a Valentine’s Day poem to Ivory and gives her a box of chocolates. Owen and Henry get us going with the power man throwing Hart into the corner and clotheslining him down before it’s off to Brown to speed things up. Hart comes back with a bulldog into a facebuster and makes the tag off to Jarrett who walks into a powerslam for two.

Everything breaks down and Debra gets on the apron to do nothing at all. Things settle down with Jarrett grabbing a DDT on Brown’s arm before it’s back to Owen for a double clothesline to put D’Lo down. A spinebuster from Owen sets up a middle rope fist from Jarrett. Hart hits the enziguri as the match slows down again. A double back elbow from the champions sets up a chinlock by Jeff before Owen kicks Brown’s head off to break up a comeback bid.

Brown finally scores with a quick Sky High to put Owen down, finally allowing for the tag off to Henry. Everything breaks down again and Brown catches Jarrett in a sitout spinebuster for a close two. D’Lo goes up for the Low Down but the girls get in a fight for a distraction. Henry gorilla presses Jarrett up but Owen hits him in the knee with a guitar. Jarrett puts on the Figure Four for a quick submission.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t horrible but the girls did nothing of note. I’m not quite sure how ripping Debra’s clothes off was supposed to keep Brown and Henry more focused on the match. Jarrett and Hart were extended placeholders as champions and while they were solid in the ring, they didn’t interest anyone for the most part.

Henry would miss time due to injuries so we’ll pick things up at Unforgiven 1999 when Henry was European Champion, having been given the title as a gift.

European Title: Mark Henry vs. D’Lo Brown

WOW they’ve picked two bad matches to start us off here. He’s Sexual Chocolate here. Tom Pritchard is the referee. Henry says there can’t be a match because Garcia slapping him hurt him. Brown actually got one hell of a push around this time if you can believe that. Brown could go in the ring if nothing else. Yes I liked him. Pritchard is wearing blue pants and it looks ridiculous. The crowd is somewhat alive here but not much.

They talk about Rebellion which is in 6 days. Yep, that’s coming too. Brown hits a Taker Dive over the ropes which looked great. This has been all Brown so far so expect that to change in a few seconds. Yep there it is. Good night Henry is limited as hell in the ring. How has he not leaned anything new in like 15 years? This is still just boring as all goodness. Brown is getting some pops if nothing else. Henry does the ten punch in the corner but gets powerbombed out of it and the Lo Down ends it. Nice ending to a terrible match.

Rating: D. Somewhat better but that’s not saying much. It was just ok and that’s mainly because I liked D’Lo. If nothing else they made it believable which is really all you can ask for here. Not bad. Ok yeah it was but it could have been worse, which is a common thing you can say about Mark Henry matches.

Henry would return in 2002 and be fed to a certain monster. From August 1, 2002 on Smackdown.

Brock Lesnar vs. Mark Henry

Henry is listed at 363lbs, which would be the lightest he’s ever been in his career. Neither guy can be moved to start and Henry laughs off a shoulder block. Mark tells him to do it again so Brock ducks his head like he’s about to run but explodes back with a clothesline to take over. Brock misses a charge in the corner and gets caught in a nice delayed vertical suplex for two. Lesnar rakes the eyes to get out of a choke and hits a great looking belly to belly overhead for two. The F5 is good for the pin.

Another year, another injury. Henry would come back in 2003 and we’ll pick things up on September 8 of that year with Henry part of Thuggin and Buggin Enterprises and in a tag match on Raw.

La Resistance/Rob Conway/Rodney Mack/Mark Henry vs. Dudley Boys/Hurricane/Rosey

Oh I’m SURE this isn’t going to get all messy. The good guys clean house and Spike is launched onto La Resistance (the tag champions at this point). Hurricane throws in a dive of his own and it’s table time less than a minute into this shindig. They’re only set up on the floor though as we finally start with Rosey and Dupree. The fat man (Rosey) misses a charge but clotheslines Conway and Dupree down with ease because he’s fat.

Off to Spike for his double stomp on Conway but since Spike is the anti-Rosey, Conway gets the tag off to Henry. Picture any match of Henry crushing someone smaller than him for about a minute and you have what you’re getting here. Mark misses a charge and Spike picks….Hurricane for the hot tag? You’re Spike Dudley and you pick the freaking HURRICANE to fight Mark Henry? Conway is brought in as Henry is down on the floor, likely out for months with an injury. Everything breaks down and Conway walks into the 3D for two via a save from Mack as Henry comes back in and powerslams Bubba for the pin.

Rating: D. Yep it was a mess. It amazes me that they’re so strapped for time that they have an 18 minute talking segment and then they have to put ten guys in one match to get them all on TV for that week. There’s nothing here to see other than another quick match tonight with way too many people in one match.

Henry would get injured again and be off WWE TV almost entirely for two years, including spending most of 2005 in OVW. He would come back in late 2005 as a monster heel, eventually earning a title shot at the 2006 Royal Rumble. This actually went on last.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Mark Henry

Angle gets overpowered to start. That’s about all there is to say for the first two minutes or so, as Kurt keeps getting shoved around and then taken to the floor. Henry whips him into the steps and then stands on Angle’s chest back inside. We hit a bearhug for a bit until Angle hiptosses out of it. He tries a cross body like an imbecile but rolls out of the World’s Strongest Slam. The ankle lock and Angle Slam are no good so Henry clubs him down again.

Instead Angle hits a German (kind of) to put both guys down. The Angle Slam gets two (duh) and the ankle lock is broken up again. The counter causes the referee to get bumped so Angle gets a chair. A low blow and two chair shots take Henry down for two, so Angle takes a buckle off. Kurt drop toeholds him into the buckle and rolls Henry up to retain. Our hero everyone.

Rating: D. Seriously, why was this……

And a gong strikes. That’s why.

As for the match, it sucked pretty terribly. Why would we buy Henry as a potential champion here after him showing no proof of being at that level? The match wasn’t even ten minutes long, making it feel much more like a TV match than a PPV title match. I know they wanted to do the big ending with Taker, but there had to be a better way to do it.

Taker comes out in a freaking horse drawn chariot and motions that he wants the title. Then he shoots lightning from his hands at the stuff over the ring, before slamming his arms down to send lightning at the posts. The ring collapses to end the show. Yeah that happened.

Undertaker returned to go after Angle but he would face Henry in a casket match at Wrestlemania XXII.

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

This is a casket match and WAY before Henry got awesome. Druids bring out the casket surrounded by torches. Basically Henry has beaten up Undertaker and isn’t scared of the dark. No one on the planet thought Henry had a chance here. I’d bet even his mama didn’t. Henry pounds away to start and no sells a few clotheslines before running Taker over. They trade shots into the steps with Henry taking control before heading back inside. Back in and Henry chokes Undertaker down like he’s not even there.

Taker fights back but has Old School broken up with ease. The casket is opened but Taker kicked his way to safety. The Dead Man gets back to his feet and manages to hit Old School this time but it doesn’t drop Henry. A Downward Spiral is easily blocked and Henry controls again by choking on the ropes. Henry misses a charge though and lands in the casket, only to pull Taker down in with him.

They fight out of the casket and head back into the ring where Taker charges into the World’s Strongest Slam but Henry covers on instinct instead of carrying Taker to the casket. Henry makes the incredibly stupid yet eternally made mistake of pounding down on Taker in the corner, only to be powerbombed out of the corner. Mark is knocked out to the floor where Taker hits hit HUGE Taker Dive to put Henry down again. Back in and there’s the Tombstone, allowing Taker to put Henry in the casket to win.

Rating: D+. It’s Mark Henry and this is long before the career resurgence he had in 2011. There was never any doubt that Taker would win his signature match against a guy who just wasn’t on his level. Not a good Mania match here for Taker, but he would win the world title at the next two editions so he would be ok soon.

Henry would feud with Batista and shred his knee, putting him out for about a year. Here’s a match after his return from One Night Stand 2007.

Mark Henry vs. Kane

Lumberjacks here. Oh joy. They actually introduce the lumberjacks to waste even more time. There are some actually decent named guys here like Benoit and uh……Benoit is in this. Other than that there are guys like Miz and Morrison who mean nothing at this point. Santino is the IC Champion here and isn’t a comedy guy yet. Apparently Kane lost a match via countout to Henry to set this up.

Henry throws him out almost immediately and Kane glares at the lumberjacks before getting back in on his own. Kane kicks him to the floor and Henry shoves all of the lumberjacks off with relative ease. They slug it out and Henry hides on the floor again. Out to the floor and Henry rams him into the post like he did on Friday apparently. Back in the ring and Henry works on the back, for once in his life showing some intelligence.

JBL suggests Henry belongs in the Hall of Fame. Sadly enough, that’s not out of the realm of possibility is it? Kane gets a shot in but charges into a powerslam for two. More power moves set up the bear hug to waste some time and let Henry have a breath of air. Kane gets a shot in but can’t hit the chokeslam so it’s right back to the beating. The fans think Henry sucks and I can’t say I disagree with them.

Back to the bearhug as the lumberjacks cheer for Kane. So the fans and other guys, both faces and heels it seem, don’t like Henry. That says nothing of note as everyone can’t stand him and no one ever has that I can remember. Kane sends him to the floor and goes up, diving on Henry and a bunch of lumberjacks at the same time. The big man can fly at least. Not a lot of big men would ever do that so points for that.

Back in the ring and Kane hammers away which doesn’t get him very far. Kane goes up again and the clothesline takes Henry down for no cover. Chokeslam actually connects but Kenny Dykstra and Chavo come in for not the DQ. That doesn’t get them anywhere but it gets us right back into the bearhug incase the first two of them didn’t get you fired up enough. Even with an arm between Henry’s, Kane actually “blacks out” in the hold and we’re done. Yes, that’s the ending they gave this.

Rating: D. Weak match beyond belief as since it was an even numbered year, Henry was pushed. No idea what Vince sees in this guy other than a massive contract so let’s keep pushing him. Either way, weak match here with a REALLY bad ending. Also, the lumberjack stipulation continues to be one of the weakest rules you can add onto any match with this being no exception.

And another match from Armageddon of the same year. I have to fit these in before he gets hurt again. Henry is part of the ECW roster at this point.

Mark Henry/Big Daddy V vs. Kane/CM Punk

Punk is ECW Champion here and is having to stick and move against the monsters. Kane is here to help even out the size stuff. Punk vs. Henry to start us off. Punk fires off some kicks and then tries to pick up the leg because faces are idiots in this company. Off to Kane whose strikes do a bit better. He gets a shot to the knee and Henry is actually in trouble. Back to Punk who gets flattened by a clothesline.

Off to Big Daddy V and the girth of death. Punk gets sent to the floor where Striker, the manager of V, gets in a shot. Henry pounds on him for awhile until a corner splash misses. Moderately warm tag brings in Kane who cleans a few rooms. The Big Bald hits the top rope clothesline to put Henry down but V breaks up the chokeslam. Sitout chokebomb gets two for V. I thought it was tea for two and two for tea but whatever.

V pounds away while in whale humping position. He splashes Kane and it’s off to Henry for some bearhuggery. Better than buggery I suppose. V comes in for Kane to fire away but another fat boy clothesline takes him down. Kane channels his inner deadman and hits a running DDT to put both guys down (Henry in this case). Double tag brings in V and Punk and everything breaks down. Punk and V are alone in the ring so Punk tries the springboard clothesline. He lands in a Samoan Drop though and we’re done.

Rating: C-. I guess this is the only thing they could put on the show. Having Punk lose is ok here because that was the point of the angle: he can’t beat either of the monsters. This wasn’t too bad but it could have been a main event on ECW TV. Either way, the big man vs. big man stuff got old after awhile which hurt the match a bit.

Henry would get an ECW Title shot at Night of Champions 2008.

ECW Title: Kane vs. Mark Henry vs. Big Show

Oh it’s Mike Adamle again. He would be Raw GM soon enough and things went bad to an extent. Tazz has to anchor the commentary here and that just is not going to work. Show won a match at One Night Stand to get here and Henry is here because Vince wants him to be. Kane comes in as champion. Seriously, give him a world title reign. The guy has to job to people like Henry and people wonder why he doesn’t stay over. By the way Kane is on Raw after the Draft six days before this and the US Title is on ECW. God bless WWE logic.

We get big match intros for the first time tonight which is kind of weird. Adamle is trying here and I can always give him credit for something like that. Oh seriously what are you expecting here? Kane is the smallest guy in this match. What do you think they’re doing? Of course: tapdancing. Yeah that joke sucked. Anyway they’re just doing power stuff that is supposed to impress us and it would if we hadn’t seen these guys fight like 100 times each before.

Kane comes back up and gets a solid pop. They had the white ropes even back in 08? I never noticed that before. The bald guys hit a double chokeslam on Henry and then they fight. Stop me if this sounds like every other triple threat match ever. Show hits Kane with one as well and since Henry is a big fat tub of goo, Kane has to kick out on his own. You know,

Adamle really isn’t that bad. He truly isn’t. He just gets such a bad reputation for what he would do later on. He didn’t have a background for this and got thrown on the top company in the world and did his best. Kane puts Show down and then Henry splashes him in the corner for the pin. This would result in him getting his huge belt soon afterwards.

Rating: D+. Not bad again but still just a big mess as these three had nothing of note as far as working together went. Kane was the most agile guy out there and he was down for a good chunk of this. Matches like these rarely work and this was no exception. Henry got pushed for no reason at all and his reign bombed. Matt Hardy would take it like 3 months later. Kane would turn heel like the next night.

After losing the title, Henry would move into a feud with Finlay, leading to a Belfast Brawl at Armageddon 2008.

Finlay vs. Mark Henry

This is a Belfast Brawl, which means street fight. Henry had tried to squash Horny but Finlay made the save for his son. Tony Atlas is with Henry. Striker says this has its roots in the streets of Belfast. There are wrestling rings in Belfast streets where you win fights by holding someone down for three seconds in front of 12,000 people? Henry sends him to the floor quickly but Finlay manages to send him into the announce table. Henry takes over and pounds away outside, ramming him into the railing.

No Hornswoggle out here as per his pop’s request. Back in the ring the splash misses and Finlay tries to get in some offense. The Irish dude pulls out some weapons, in the form of like three trashcans. The delay lets Henry get up and Finlay goes down fast. Henry hits that move that has no name where you jump on the guy’s head when he’s in the 619 position. He yells at Finlay, saying you wanted a fight and now you got one.

Finlay manages to fight back with a trashcan shot and another to put Henry down. He pounds away a bit and gets two. Henry takes over again and stands on Finlay’s chest but misses a Banzai Drop from the middle rope. Yokozuna he is not. There’s that Irish club that I can’t spell but Henry knocks it out of Finlay’s hand. Henry breaks the club easily and does the same to a kendo stick.

Bear hug goes on and here’s Horny. Henry casually throws him into Finlay’s balls from where he came. Or did Finlay come? Not sure actually. I guess Finlay had to so Horny could. And I guess Finlay had to be Horny to come so Horny could come. I love wordplay. Anyway Henry beats Finlay down and picks up the steps but Finlay dropkicks the knee to send Henry’s face into the steps. Horny slips him another stick (add that aspect to the aforementioned joke) and a shot to the head with that ends this.

Rating: C-. Eh nothing too horrible here. The weapons probably saved this as I don’t even want to imagine these two trying to have a regular match. Not a horrible match here and Horny helping to win is ok. I don’t mind him as a sidekick but being on the show week after week gets to be a bit much.

Henry would go after the ECW Title again at the Bash.

ECW Title: Christian vs. Tommy Dreamer vs. Jack Swagger vs. Mark Henry vs. Finlay

This is a Scramble match which is more or less a gauntlet. Every three minutes someone else comes in and whoever gets the final pin is champion but you have to pin the champion for the pin to count. Uh…sure. Christian and Swagger start us off. Wow it’s weird to see Swagger as champion before Christian. I miss the pushups.

Ok so if Swagger pins Christian he’s IT more or less? I guess that makes sense. I’m assuming that there will be a clock once everyone comes in. Striker implies a heel turn for Christian but nothing ever came for that. The clock begins far before three minutes is up and it’s Finlay. Striker talks about Irishmen from centuries ago as no one cares at all. Swagger pokes Finlay in the eye and rolls him up to become IT.

Christian and Swagger do a nice little sequence that gets two for the Canadian. He beats Christian down as Dreamer is number four. Dreamer beats up everyone with incredibly basic stuff but throws out a Sky High. Ok apparently it’s not Swagger that has to lose the title as it’s just the last pin. Uh…that kind of makes sense I suppose.

They blow a spot where Christian is on the mat and Dreamer gets thrown onto him. It just looked really awkward. Finlay finally comes back to life and hits the Celtic Cross on Swagger to become IT. Finlay and Dreamer don’t work well together to put it mildly. And here’s Henry to suck the life out of the match. Ok so now we have five minutes left and whoever gets the last fall is champion. Got it.

Dreamer takes the World’s Worst Finisher with 4:15 to make Henry IT. Everyone not named Dreamer beats Henry up and the people start booing for some reason. Finlay hits a freaking suicide dive onto Swagger. Have to love old men flying all over the place. Henry teases a top rope dive but for the sake of the gravitational pull, Swagger saves him and gets the pin to become it with about 2:20 to go.

I like knowing how much longer to go at times and this is one of them. Christian hits the Killswitch on Swagger but Dreamer DDTs him at 1:20 to become IT. It becomes a big mess now which makes sense at least. On instinct Dreamer goes for a cover which they don’t point out the stupidity of. Everyone goes for covers but the clock runs out and Dreamer retains. He screams “I WON???” in a funny moment.

Rating: C+. These matches are hard to call but I liked it. Thankfully they haven’t killed them by having them every two weeks or something like that. This still feels fresh though and it comes off as a good way to be different. Also it makes Dreamer look like a competent champion and not a jobber which I can’t complain about. This worked but was still a little bit weird.

Henry would get hurt AGAIN and miss more time. When he came back he would form some short lived tag teams, including one with Yoshi Tatsu. The pair would be in a fourway for the Tag Team Titles on Raw, December 6, 2010.

Tag Titles: Usos vs. Nexus vs. Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov vs. Mark Henry/Yoshi Tatsu

This is under elimination rules. Gabriel and Tatsu start. At the last show I was at Tatsu and Jericho tore the house down so it would be nice to see him win a title here. Spin kick gets two for Tatsu so Gabriel kicks Tatsu in some African on Asian violence. Off to Slater now with Josh picking Kozlov and Santino.

Henry comes in and is supposed to fight an Uso but they run from him. Henry is like get the hell in here and pulls Jey in by the hair. Freaking ow man! We’re getting some very fast paced tagging here. Punk is talking about the Bellas vs. the Usos for some reason but since it’s coming from Punk it’s awesome.

Lawler brings us back to reality as Punk threatens to send Josh back to Superstars. The Usos surprisingly clean house and beat up Henry and Tatsu. Slater tags himself in and gets one of the most unrecognizable finishers of all time to get rid of Tatsu and thereby Henry at approximately 3:00.

The Usos come in and get a slingshot Samoan Drop (think 3D kind of but with a Samoan Drop ending and the guy playing D-Von lets go) for two as Gabriel saves. Kozlov comes in and runs through the Usos. The spike slam ends the Usos at approximately 4:45. Tamina stays behind with Santino.

It’s Nexus vs. Kozlov/Santino for the titles. Punk keeps calling Santino Jar Jar which is amusing. Santino comes in to by far the biggest reaction in this match. Who would have guessed that he would be the most popular guy of eight men in a title match late in 2010?They’re trying to make Tamina look good and from a distance she kind of does. Then they show closeups of her and she looks a bit goo much like a diseased goat. We take a break with Nexus in control.

Back with Gabriel holding Kozlov in a front facelock. There’s the hot tag to Santino who raises the roof and surprisingly cleans house to a nice pop. He hits a Stunner complete with splits as Kozlov takes out Slater. Cena pops up from under the ring and gets Gabriel’s attention. The Cobra hits Gabriel and we have new champions at 12:00!

Rating: C. Match was kind of boring but the ending more than makes up for that. It completely amazes me that Santino is as over as he is but given the pops he’s been getting there is no reason to not put a title on him to give him some credibility. Not the best match in the world but entertaining and rather exciting so that wasn’t bad at all.

Over the summer of 2011, Henry would become a monster heel again and start a gimmick called the Hall of Pain where he would injure various wrestlers. With no one left to stand up to him, Sheamus turned face by saying “I’ll fight him.” Their showdown was at Summerslam 2011.

Mark Henry vs. Sheamus

Henry takes him down with a clothesline to start but Sheamus comes right back with right hands. The pale one pounds away and actually knocks Henry down to his knees, only to be thrown to the floor. Henry EASILY throws Sheamus through the ropes and hits a splash for two. A running crotch attack crushes Sheamus’ neck but he’s in the ropes before the count starts.

A backbreaker puts Sheamus down and it’s off to an Argentinean backbreaker to complete the set. Sheamus powers out, only to be sent chest first into the corner. Henry misses a Vader Bomb though and Sheamus has a breather. A series of ax handles to the chest and head put Henry down followed by the forearms in the ropes. They clothesline each other down and we get a breather.

Back up and Mark runs into a boot in the corner, allowing Sheamus to go up for the top rope shoulder, good for two. The Brogue Kick misses though and a clothesline puts Sheamus down. Sheamus slips out of the World’s Strongest Slam and there’s the Brogue Kick to knock Henry to the outside. Sheamus follows him to the floor but Henry drives him into the post and through the barricade in a great crash, allowing Mark to beat the count for a countout win.

Rating: C+. This was another simple formula: take two big power brawlers and let them beat the tar out of each other for nearly the minutes. It’s also a smart ending as Sheamus gets to stay strong but Henry gets another win. Sheamus would get a countout win I believe at the next PPV so it evened out. Good, fun brawl here.

Henry’s roll would take him to Night of Champions 2011 for a shot at Randy Orton’s World Title.

Smackdown World Title: Mark Henry vs. Randy Orton

After some big match intros we’re ready to go. According to Booker the WCW Title and the WHC have the same lineage. Orton fires away at him and manages to get him down, setting up the Orton Stomp. The knee drop ticks Henry off but he jumps to the left (Time Warp?) and sends Henry to the floor where he’s all ticked off. Back in HENRY GOES GYMNAST with a big boot to the head. That was impressive.

Orton grabs a sleeper which wouldn’t be a bad idea IF EVERYONE DIDN’T USE IT ON BIG MEN. Naturally it doesn’t work here either and Orton is put on the top rope. Henry clocks him upside the head and Henry takes over on the floor. With Orton’s body wrapped around the post, Henry pulls back to injure the back and to draw a Gumby reference. I didn’t expect one of those but Cole played the Gumby card.

Henry stands on Orton’s back with no rope support. FREAKING OW MAN!!! The big splash only gets two and then another two off a not very serious cover. Henry is toying with him here but Orton gets up for a second. He’s not up for two seconds as Henry takes him down and chokes a bit. Orton hammers away with his two kinds of strikes. Henry takes him down but the second splash misses and here comes Randy.

Orton fires off a bunch of punches in the corner and Henry is in trouble. The clotheslines don’t work and Henry isn’t sure what to do. There’s a dropkick and Henry heads to the apron. He puts himself in elevated DDT position but Henry fires back with a headbutt. This has been good so far. There’s the World’s Strongest Slam for two and Henry is ticked off. Henry sets for a Vader Bomb but Orton moves.

He goes after the knee and hits a DDT to take Henry down. It’s RKO time but Henry rolls to the apron. This time the DDT works and I think the tides just shifted. It’s only two though because that’s not his finisher and Henry grabs the rope instead. Henry pulls a Bret Hart and plays possum so he can get a shot to the leg in and Orton is slowed down. Now he’s looking at him like a plate of shrimp puffs. Orton gets up and pulls himself up with Henry’s singlet and tries an RKO. That gets countered and the RKO makes Henry the champion at 13:11. It had to happen someday.

Rating: B. I can’t believe it but I’m ok with this. They built this guy up over the summer and then gave him the title. It’s about time as he was pushed for years on and off and just never got there. This is the right time though and we need some fresh heel blood on Smackdown. Good moment here and something that Henry deserves, which I can’t believe I’m saying but it’s true.

After losing the title to Big Show, Henry would head back to Raw and challenge CM Punk for the WWE Title the night after Wrestlemania XXVIII.

Raw World Title: Mark Henry vs. CM Punk

Punk gets overpowered to start but manages to get in some strikes. Those get him absolutely nowhere. Well, unless you count face down on the mat and getting pounded on somewhere of course. Either way, Henry dominates him with pure power. Punk’s back is still hurt from the Jericho match last night. There’s a bearhug but it never goes on fully, as Punk pounds away and DDTs out of it for two. Running knee to the head gets the same. Henry gets in another shot to the back and sets for a Vader Bomb, but Punk gets in a shot to break it up.

That doesn’t really matter though as Henry drills him again and tries a second time. This time Punk moves and Henry crashes down. Henry manages to run him over though and we take a break. Back with Punk diving into a clothesline but getting caught by Henry. He knocks the champ down again and it’s nerve hold time. Punk fights out of that and chops the tar out of Henry.

A high kick puts Henry down and a very slow climb sets up the Macho Elbow. It hurts Punk’s back again but he manages the running knee in the corner. No bulldog though. Another knee looks to set up the bulldog but Henry throws Punk to the floor. That combo works about 2% of the time. In a very surprising ending, Punk doesn’t beat the count back in and Henry wins by countout at 13:00.

Rating: C+. Good stuff here with Punk fighting the odds and trying to hang in there, but I’m not sure I like the ending. It obviously sets up a rematch for Henry which is the right idea, and I think I can live with that. Not a bad match at all, but it wasn’t my favorite for some reason. Maybe it’s Henry not being that interesting anymore. Actually scratch that about the ending. The match was for the title so there was no other way to end it if that’s how they’re going forward, which is ok.

Post match Henry gives him the World’s Strongest Slam on the floor. The fans want Lesnar. Ace and Otunga come out to say that Punk is going to be defending the title on a much more consistent basis. Jericho pops up and says that it looks like Punk needs a drink. He pulls out a bottle of what looks like whiskey and pours it on Punk’s head, ala Raven or Lawler/Roberts in 1996. Jericho slips on the booze in a funny bit. Jericho goes to get another bottle and breaks this one over Punk’s head. Punk’s hand shaking is a nice touch.

Henry never would win the title, but he would miss the second half of 2012 with an injury. He returned in early 2013 and had a big match on Smackdown, February 2, 2013.

Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry

If Henry wins, he’s in the Chamber. I don’t think Orton is out for losing. Henry shoves him into the corner but Orton fights out with right hands. Randy gets shoved to the floor and but escapes off Henry’s shoulder before posting Mark. Back in and Orton heads to the top, only to get DRILLED in the head and knocked out to the floor.

That gets two for Mark so he stands on Randy’s chest for awhile. Off to the nerve hold for a bit but Orton starts speeding things up. Mark misses a charge in the corner and Orton knocks him onto the apron. The Elevated DDT looks to set up the RKO but it’s easily blocked. A splash in the corner sets up the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin at 4:35.

Rating: C-. Just like before, there wasn’t time for this to go anywhere. Henry looked decent as the monster continues to be the perfect character for him. Actually keeping this short was probably the right idea because a guy who hasn’t been in the ring in ten months just crushed Randy Orton. That’s certainly a good way to get him over again in the fans’ eyes.

In the summer, Henry would tease retirement and officially announce it on Raw. This turned out to be a ruse and Henry would attack John Cena before challenging him for a title match at Money in the Bank 2013. The segment was absolute gold and Henry had most people believing he was really gone.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Mark Henry

Cena is of course booed out of the building. The champion charges at Henry and bounces off of him like a wall. Henry shoves him into the corner and a running splash gets two. Cena is front suplexed onto the steps for two as this is one sided so far. The fans chant Sexual Chocolate because that’s what smark crowds do for a Henry match as Mark drops a leg on the back of Cena’s neck. Henry throws Cena down and then out to the floor as the domination continues.

Back in and Henry stands around but misses a charge in the corner. Cena can’t slam him so Henry cranks on the neck a bit. John gets back up and hits the shoulder blocks followed by the Shuffle but Cena still can’t hit the AA. Henry falls on top for two but Cena counters a slam into most of a spinning DDT. Cena FINALLY hits the AA but it’s only good for two. The high cross is caught in a World’s Strongest Slam for two so Henry pulls the turnbuckle pad off. He also brings in a chair but as the referee is dealing with that, Henry pulls off another buckle.

Cena counters a whip into the buckle and hooks the STF but Mark easily gets to the rope. Henry gets two off a low blow but another World’s Strongest Slam is countered into the STF with Cena dragging Henry back to the middle of the ring. Henry taps out to retain Cena’s title at 14:40.

Rating: C. This was exactly what you would expect from this match. Henry came off like a monster of the month for the entirety of the buildup and that’s exactly what he was here. Nothing in this match made me care about it because no one believed Cena was in any real danger. It wasn’t horrible or anything but it came and went and nothing more.

We’ll wrap things up with Henry as a face again. This is from the December 23, 2013 Raw and may be the greatest thing in the history of the world. On this night, the 400lb wig splitting World’s Strongest Man was the good Santa. He was facing a Latin speaking know it all bad Santa. The battle was for the future of Christmas.

We get a tale of the tape between good and bad Santa. It’s completely gimmicked complete with sleigh model, gifts they plan to give (Xbox vs. onions) and favorite hobbies (filling stockings vs. throwing snowballs at carolers). This is going to be GREAT.

Good Santa vs. Bad Santa

Sandow of course brings coal to the ring, but more importantly he comes out to Xanta Claus’ theme song. Look him up. Henry opens a present to reveal a toilet and shoves Sandow’s face in the bowl. JBL: “This is like George Bailey vs. Mr. Potter.” Damien gets a present of his own to reveal a fire extinguisher…..which doesn’t work. Henry shoves him down and pulls out the pin (safety first you see) and hoses Damien down. They head up the ramp and Sandow finds a candy kendo stick. He beats Henry down and shoves over a Christmas tree, drawing the most heat of his entire career.

Henry breaks the stick and shoves Sandow down the aisle. Damien grabs a star off the top of a tree which is too much for JBL to take. Henry knocks Sandow into the tree and they head back inside where Sandow still can’t get the extinguisher to work. Mark sprays him down again and hits the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin at 3:15.

Rating: A+. A 400lb muscle man just beat a Latin speaking know it all to save Christmas. If you don’t get why this is an A+, you don’t understand entertainment.

Mark Henry is a guy who has ability, but injuries and a lack of ever really changing crippled him. At the end of the day, he’s basically the same guy he’s always been save for the Sexual Chocolate phase. How many times can you build Henry up as a monster and then have him lose in the end? It lost its luster, but made the Hall of Pain period all the more interesting. Henry FINALLY winning a title helped, but it was about ten years too late.

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