This one really wasn’t that hard.It’s Battleground and I really didn’t have to put a lot of thought into it.  The show just didn’t need to happen and felt like a cash grab.  The Rhodes Brothers vs. Shield was a very good match, but other than that there’s nothing of value on the show.  SOme of the matches were ok, but there’s no reason for them to be on a full priced PPV.  The main event made things even worse with the Bryan vs. Orton feud being dragged out for the sake of being dragged out.  On top of that the midcard stuff sucked.  I mean, is there ANY reason to have the Real Americans vs. Khali/Santino go seven minutes?  Just an unnecessary show and not a good one either.

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NXT
Date: December 14, 2010
Location: Cajundome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Todd Grisham

It’s week 2 of NXT and things are looking good so far. Last week was a good start so hopefully that continues here. I’d like to see more of their characters come out this time though which isn’t something we got to see much of on the season premiere. It’s weird to be getting ready for NXT and to have a positive outlook on it. Let’s get to it.

We open as always, with Striker bringing out the rookies. We’re opening with a karaoke challenge. I already don’t like this. There are six envelopes with wrestlers’ theme songs that they have to sing. O’Brian gets Sheamus and we FINALLY get the official words to Sheamus’ song. Surprisingly it doesn’t say Lobster Head. His voice is all nasal and this is just awful.

Bateman gets Miz. He’s not bad but the pacing is all off. He throws in a shoutout to the college football team which is smart.

Novak gets a pop as he comes up for some reason. He gets Dolph Ziggler, who happens to be his pro. Novak sounds really quite drunk. He more or less just says the words which might be the best course of action.

Clay, the white Viscera, goes third with Cody Rhodes’ song….and doesn’t do half bad. It’s more talking but there was a little flair to it. Best so far.

Curtis gets Orton and gets down in the slither pose. I know nothing about music and I’m not sure if this worked or not. Imagine a guy trying to sing like James Hetfield without having talent and singing Orton’s song and that’s about it.

Saxton is last and draws Shawn Michaels whose name gets a bigger pop than anything else so far. He messes up one of the most famous lyrics in wrestling history. How is that possible? He does dance a bit which helps somewhat. Saxton wins which I guess is the best choice as he was definitely trying.

Masters/Saxton vs. DiBiase/Clay up next.

Profile on Novak who says he used to play every spots, including football. They had a motto on the team: DTD – Determined to Dominate. He says he’s destined to dominate. That’s a good line. Novak says he’s the most like Jack Swagger on the roster and that you have to look out for #1, and that’s him. Kind of a generic promo/character but he sold it quite well.

Chris Masters/Byron Saxton vs. Ted DiBiase/Brodus Clay

See I told you it was up next. You didn’t think I’d lie to you did you? Josh talks about having dinner with Brodus recently and that he’s a fascinating person. He actually comes off as that which is good. The rookies start us off. Clay shoves him around with ease so here’s Masters instead.

After a little back and forth stuff Ted comes in and we actually take a break on NXT. Back with Ted holding a chinlock on Masters. I like this Brodus guy. Masters fights out of the corner but walks into a dropkick from Ted for two. In a funny bit Masters brings in Saxton and in a Shawn Stasiak like moment he charges and is taken down immediately.

Clay hits a huge spinebuster but tags DiBiase back in. A kneedrop misses and Saxton is able to get out and it’s pro on pro again. Another spinebuster, this time from Masters, hits DiBiase as does an accidentally shot from Clay. Masters calls for the Masterlock but Saxton gets a quick tag and walks into Dream Street to end it at approximately 7:00.

Rating: C-. Not a great match or anything but it did its job with Clay looking good for a big man and Saxton getting a bit of character development as being a headstrong guy that isn’t as good as he thinks he is. This worked ok though and wasn’t a bad match at all.

We go to the back where Bateman is warming up when Bryan comes in. He says that Bateman has a match tonight so Bryan is going to teach him a hold. It’s a heel hook which Bryan demonstrates step by step (Hey kids! Pay attention as the United States Champion shows you a basic way to snap someone’s ankle in three easy steps!) how to do it and tells Bateman to do it now. Bateman goes insane and shouts about how he’s doing submission wrestling while Bryan is telling him what to do. In order to get Bateman to chill, Bryan KICKS HIM IN THE FACE! I told you that was the best solution to a lot of problems! Funny segment.

Obstacle Course time, but this time it’s for TWO immunity points. Novak goes first and does relatively well until he gets to the push-ups where he has to start over. He sets the time to beat at 37.9 seconds.

Saxton goes second and is a jerk to Striker. I guess he’s not all bad. Saxton falls going over the hurdles and slams his head. He can’t do push-ups either and goes over a minute.

O’Brian is third but messes up on the wall/hurdle as well. He can’t do the balance beam that well and winds up getting 42.7.

Bateman is fourth and the referees are REALLY anal about these push-ups. Bateman manages to break the time at 35.7.

Curtis says he’s feeling very gazelle-like and breaks the time but the referees say he messed up on the balance beam so it’s a disqualification.

Brodus Clay is last and literally throws the walls out of his way. Naturally he’s disqualified though.

Curtis gets another chance to a chorus of boos. He destroys the time at 31.4 seconds.

Profile on Curtis who talks about dabbling in a lot of stuff. He and a friend of his trained in a ring in the woods apparently and the friend was killed in a car wreck so he has dog tags on his tights because of it. That’s a cool story.

Raw Rebounds wastes some time.

Jacob Novak hits on Vickie for some reason. Ziggler comes in and asks Vickie to leave. He’s not happy and more or less says hands off. Is there a reason why Vickie is going to be a focal point of a storyline on this show in back to back seasons?

Ad for the 50 Greatest Superstars DVD which might be worth looking at.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Derrick Bateman

This should be short in theory. Alberto asks Ricardo to take out Bateman. Del Rio dominates early on as you would expect him to. The fans aren’t exactly thrilled by this match to put it mildly. Bateman makes a brief comeback and gets a modified neckbreaker. Think the Moonlight Drive that Morrison used back on ECW. Cross Armbreaker ends it in about 3:20. Not much more than a squash.

Rating: C. Really hard to grade this as it’s barely a competitive match. They tend to have one of these a season and I’m not entirely sure I get the point to them. Del Rio has a major match on the PPV so why would we believe that Bateman stands a chance against him? Also, why not have a rookie against Bateman? Either way it wasn’t bad but it was rather short.

Overall Rating: B. Another good episode this week as things continue to look up for this season. We got some character development, two challenges that went by pretty fast and two matches. That’s pretty good for a little under an hour I’d say, especially considering a 3-4 minute Raw Recap plus commercials. I’m liking this 6 man set of rookies as it’s definitely more workable. Nothing bad at all here and some decent stuff make this a solid outing for the second episode of the season. Good show.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: December 16, 2013
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

Well it’s the night after the BIGGEST MATCH EVER and Randy Orton is still world champion, just like he was going into the show. The Authority seems to be ok with these circumstances though the returning Vince didn’t seem completely thrilled. Other than that, Bryan lost to the Wyatts and the Shield is going to be having some problems as we get closer to Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

We open with the roster on the stage with HHH and Stephanie in the ring. The Authority talks about what a huge moment last night was with a new Champion of Champions being crowned. Orton is introduced and just like Jericho 12 years ago, has both belts around his shoulders. Randy talks about how amazing he is and how he takes any opportunity that is given to him. Cena can be seen looking upset on the stage.

Last week Orton stood in the ring with 20 other superstars and now he’s the champion of champions. Orton goes to brag about himself even more when Cena cuts him off by calling Randy an idiot. Here’s what Orton is going to say: “Viper, viper, apex, apex, apex, handcuffs (“Those were clever by the way”), and now I’ve saved these people twenty minutes.” However Stone Cold Steve Austin has said that being champion means you have to put up or shut up every night, and that’s true for Orton tonight.

Cena isn’t talking about himself though. Last week he told a certain someone getting the first title shot if he won, and that means Orton should face Daniel Bryan tonight. Orton calls for security to get rid of both guys but Cena says Orton is just scared. Randy says no way, even though he doesn’t have to listen to anyone. Stephanie: “Except for us.” HHH says Bryan doesn’t deserve a title shot yet, but the Authority always listens to the fans. Orton protests but HHH makes the match anyway.

Rey Mysterio/Big Show vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust

This is non-title and determined by a fan vote with the other options being the Real Americans and Ryback/Axel. Mysterio sends Cody to the floor to start and hits a nice baseball slide. Rey actually hits that slide into a splash which is usually a bump instead of a move. Back inside and Cody pulls Rey off the top before the Disaster Kick hits for two. Goldust drops a knee to the back of Mysterio’s head for two and drops some more knees to Rey’s arm. Back to Cody who runs into a Big Show clothesline as we take a break.

We come back to see Big Show slamming Cole as the announcers take pictures of themselves for no apparent reason. Big Show shrugs off some shots to the face and puts on something resembling a cobra clutch as the announcers take more pictures and talk about tweeting the picture. We’re now at about a minute straight with the match being completely ignored.

Big Show has Cody almost out cold and the fans want Goldust. The Final Cut gets two on Cody so Big Show goes to the middle rope. Cody avoids an elbow drop to prevent death and makes the hot tag off to Goldust. The painted one tries to fire away on Show but walks into a chokeslam. Cody breaks it up at two but is sent to the floor, allowing Big Show to knock Goldust silly. Rey splashes Goldust from Show’s shoulders for the pin at 12:39.

Rating: C-. The match was a glorified squash as Big Show dominated everything while he was in there. I’d assume we’re leading to the Rhodes split before they fight each other at Wrestlemania, even though they’re as good as any team we’ve seen in a long time. That’s the problem of writing instead of booking. The logical move would be to have the two of them team until they were running out o steam, but the end goal is the split so that’s what we’re getting, period.

Goldust is helped to his feet post match. Mysterio is clearly limping.

We get an amusing vignette for a Good Santa vs. Bad Santa match with Mark Henry and Damien Sandow playing the respective characters.

Bad News Barrett says there’s a lot of money to be won in the lottery but none of us will win it. He has a gavel now too.

Orton comes in to yell at the Authority some more but they talk to him about how serious it is to be undisputed champion. He has to do twice the work now and they hope he can handle it.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Fandango

This is a rematch of last night’s bad pre show match. Ziggler quickly dropkicks him down and sends Fandango to the floor, only to have the dancer clothesline Ziggler down. Back in and Fandango punches Dolph in the face and suplexes him down for two. We hit the reverse chinlock for a bit on Ziggler but he comes back with a quick rollup for the pin at 3:27. It’s as sudden as it sounds.

Rating: D. Well this happened. There was nothing to the match and I have no idea why we had to watch it two nights in a row. Odds are we’re going to see it again next week in a rubber match because WWE writers can’t come up with another idea for these guys so they just have them fight over and over again. Nothing to see here.

Real Americans vs. Big E. Langston/Mark Henry

Swagger and Langston get things going with Big E. leapfrogging Jack and running him down with a shoulder. Off to Cesaro as Cole talks about Snap Chat, which is apparently a social media site. The fans think OU (Oklahoma University, Swagger’s alma mater) sucks. Henry throws Langston into the corner for a shoulder to Swagger’s ribs and Big E. hits an unassisted one of his own.

Mark drops down onto Swagger’s back a few times before it’s back to Langston for right hands in the corner. Some right hands let Jack tag in Cesaro, only to have Henry come in to throw Antonio around with ease. Langston gorilla presses him down and knocks Cesaro the floor for a lull in the match. Back in and Cesaro comes back with some shots to the ribs and Swagger pulls Langston so Swagger can stomp away.

Back with Cesaro cranking on Big E.’s arm before hitting a nice gutwrench suplex for two. Cesaro breaks up a tag attempt and catapults Langston into Swagger for a belly to belly throw for two. Langton comes back by throwing Swagger to the floor and suplexing Cesaro down, setting up the tag to Henry. A powerslam gets two on Antonio but he comes back with a clothesline. Langston breaks up the Cesaro Swing attempt to Henry and the Big Ending is good for the pin at 15:30.

Rating: D+. WAY too long here and the match dragged several times. I have no idea why they keep jobbing the Real Americans and wasting Cesaro, as it’s not like the main event scene could use a new heel. Also, is it really necessary to make a team out of the two strong black guys? Are the writers that creatively bankrupt? That’s a rhetorical question as of course they are.

Weekly how to download the App video.

Bad Santa Sandow and his elves Tamina and AJ torment a young girl by telling her there are no presents this year and Christmas is canceled. The battle of the Santas is next Monday.

Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. Tons of Funk

Man alive there are a lot of tag matches tonight. Truth and Woods are on commentary. Axel dropkicks Tensai down to start before it’s off to Ryback who gets two off a powerslam. Tensai avoids a charge in the corner but Brodus walks away from the tag. Ryback Meat Hooks and Shell Shocks Tensai for the pin at 2:22.

Brodus beats up Tensai post match until Woods and Truth make the save. Truth asks the Funkadactyls come in for a dance to Brodus’ music. Brodus is furious. Cole dances at the announcers’ table, giving us this from JBL: “You are the worst white man in the history of dancing.”

Here’s Punk to talk about his win last night. He isn’t a big Christmas guy but he can’t believe he won last night. The war probably isn’t over, but he still thinks there’s more to Shield attacking him than meets the eye. Punk thinks there’s something to the idea that the Authority was behind Shield attacking him, which isn’t a big surprise. Everyone knows Punk isn’t one to get along with authority, especially when they’re trying to sweep him under the rug. He calls out HHH to hash all this out right now, but instead here’s Shawn Michaels.

Punk calls out HHH and Stephanie again but Shawn says he understands Punk’s problems with the Authority. The fans think Shawn sold out but when the chant dies out Shawn says they couldn’t keep it up. Shawn is right there with Punk being anti-authority and since he superkicked Punk last week, shouldn’t Punk’s problem be with him?

The fans chant one more match (Punk: “I’m sure I’ll have more than one more!”) and Punk says the 15 year old him was thrilled that Shawn kicked him in the face last week, but if Shawn does it again, Punk will be the one kicking. Shawn says he’s always liked Punk but what he’s about to do is going to hurt him more than it hurts Punk. He introduces Punk’s opponents: Shield, who were announced earlier tonight.

An App poll determines Punk’s partners. Shocking no one, the Usos crush the Prime Time Players and Los Matadores.

Usos/CM Punk vs. Shield

Jimmy slams Ambrose down to start before it’s off to Jey for a running forearm in the corner. Punk comes in to keep up the arm work before it’s off to Rollins vs. Jimmy. Seth is quickly taken down with an armbar as the match slows down. A hiptoss puts Rollins down and it’s back to Jey for an uppercut. Jey Cactus Clotheslines Seth to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Jey trying to fight out of a double team but getting caught in the corner again for some stomping by Rollins. Jey rolls away from the corner and tags in Jimmy to speed things up a bit. Jimmy gets two off a Samoan drop but Rollins enziguris him right back down. Shield starts their tagging in and out to work over Jimmy as the match slows down again. Reigns slams Jimmy down for two and we hit the chinlock.

Jimmy FINALLY kicks Roman in the face and tags in Punk to wake up the crowd. CM fights off the rest of the Shield at the same time with a DDT/neckbreaker combination to Ambrose and Rollins. Everything breaks down and Reigns is taken down by a Jey dive to the floor. Rollins throws Jey into the barricade but gets caught by a suicide dive. Ambrose charges into a right hand from Punk, setting up the Macho Elbow for two. The GTS puts Ambrose down again but Reigns comes in off a blind tag and spears Punk for the pin at 16:18.

Rating: C+. The match was decent enough but the fans seem to be getting burned out on these tag matches. I can’t say I disagree as this was the fourth tag match in less than two hours. It doesn’t help that we’ve seen the Usos vs. Shield about 95 times in the last few months with the Usos never really getting anywhere as a result.

We recap the opening segment.

The Wyatts interrupt some WWE 2K14 footage with Bray talking about the long process of bringing down the machine. Bryan is a miniscule ant trying to break through a scorpion’s armor. Bray told him he could take the pain away and is sorry for doubting Abigail. He understands what they have to do now and says if Bryan will not walk with the reapers, then he will burn with the saints. It was Harper finishing the statement, speaking for the first time ever I believe. The Family has been looking at something off camera while talking to Abigail. We pan over to see the empty rocking chair.

Bella Twins/Natalya vs. Alicia Fox/AJ Lee/Tamina Snuka

Since this feud just won’t die. Natalya grabs a quick rollup for two on Alicia before Fox can’t quite tilt-a-whirl slam the Canadian. Off to Brie who gets slammed off the middle rope for two before it’s off to Tamina to throw a shirt at Brie. We hit the chinlock as the match is dragging yet again. The announcers talk about the Will Ferrell movie Elf as Tamina slams Brie down. AJ gets the tag and the fans freak out, only to have Brie dropkick AJ down. The hot tag brings in Nikki who cleans house and puts AJ in a torture rack, only to have Tamina hit a GREAT superkick to put Nikki down. A Shining Wizard from AJ is enough to pin Nikki at 5:15.

Rating: C-. The match was saved by that kick alone. Even Shawn would have been jealous of that one. Tamina vs. AJ would seem to be the end goal of all this, but I’m not sure how we get there at this point. This was nothing of note for the most part as the Bellas trying to be all tough is more laughable than entertaining. That kick was sweet though.

Good Santa Henry with Bella and Horswoggle elves make a boy feel better by telling him that Christmas won’t be canceled. I know it’s stupid, I know it’s corny, I know they do it every year, but I can’t help but smile at these things.

Randy Orton doesn’t know why the Authority is listening to the fans.

Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Non-title, as acknowledged by Cole. Orton gets caught by an early shot to the head and bails outside, only to come back inside and get caught in a headlock. Randy counters into a headscissors but Bryan comes back with an Indian Deathlock, sending Orton out to the floor again. Back in and Bryan drops elbows on Orton’s knee before wrapping it around the post. The Beard wins a quick slugout and knees Orton in the ribs, followed by a kick to the same area.

Orton rakes Bryan’s eyes to get a breather but his Thesz Press is rolled through into a half crab. Randy makes the rope and gets in a stomp to Bryan’s arm, sending Bryan into the corner in agony. JBL praises Orton extensively as Orton goes after the arm and stomps on Bryan’s foot. We hit the armbar for a big before Orton wristdrags Daniel down. There’s the Orton circle stomp but Bryan comes back by biting Orton’s face. A running dropkick puts Orton on the floor but Randy sidesteps the FLYING GOAT, sending Bryan down onto his bad arm again.

Back with Orton holding a chinlock followed by a knee to the ribs, sending Bryan to the apron. Daniel gets knocked into the barricade and Orton drops him back first onto wall as well. Back in and a gorgeous superplex gets two on Bryan but he comes back again with the moonsault out of the corner and the running clothesline. Two straight running kicks in the corner set up a top rope hurricanrana but Bryan’s arm injury prevents the immediate cover. The fans are correct as they call this awesome.

Bryan gets caught in the backbreaker but gets a quick YES Lock attempt to stop Orton’s momentum. A catapult sends Bryan over the top but he skins the cat, only to get kicked in the ribs. The Elevated DDT drops Daniel again but the RKO is countered into a backslide for two. The big kick to Orton’s head gets the same and both guys are down. There’s the big YES chant and Bryan goes up top, only to get crotched down. Bryan breaks up another superplex attempt and scores with the swan dive for another near fall. The fans are losing their minds on these kickouts and with good reason.

More kicks in the corner have Orton in trouble but he misses a running kick to the opposite corner to give Randy a breather. A rollup gets two for Orton but he gets caught in the YES Lock out of nowhere. The hold isn’t on all the way though and Randy gets over to the rope and out to the floor. Now the FLYING GOAT connects and Bryan hits a leg lariat up against the barricade. Back in and the missile dropkick connects, setting up the chest kicks. Orton ducks the head kick and low blows Bryan for the LAME DQ at 25:00.

Rating: A-. Gah they were ROLLING until that ending. Bryan had me believing in him like he never has before and the match worked better than any of their previous bouts. Orton was in a zone out there which people often forget he can reach. Really good stuff here and the best match Randy has had in a good while.

Post match here’s Cena to go after Orton but he checks on Bryan, only to walk into an RKO. Orton poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The show was good enough overall but the tag team overload was a bit much at times. It’s nice to see them focus on tag teams again, but it might help if the tag teams were actually interesting or, you know, good. The main event was outstanding stuff with Bryan’s arm stuff being very well done and it keeps some doors open for later. The Christmas special next week should be good and we have Punk setting his sights on the Authority to likely set up Wrestlemania. Good stuff but not a great show.

Results

Big Show/Rey Mysterio b. Cody Rhodes/Goldust – Splash to Goldust

Dolph Ziggler b. Fandango – Rollup

Big E. Langston/Mark Henry b. Real Americans – Big Ending to Cesaro

Ryback/Curtis Axel b. Tons of Funk – Shell Shock to Cesaro

Shield b. Usos/CM Punk – Spear to Punk

AJ Lee/Tamina Snuka/Alicia Fox b. Bella Twins/Natalya – Shining Wizard to Nikki

Daniel Bryan b. Randy Orton via DQ – Orton hit Bryan low

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Leave the memories alone.There are a few nominees for this but the memories of one bring it up.  First we’ll look at the ones that were really good but not as great as another.

Payback.  This took me awhile to get to (and gave me the greatest day I’ve ever had for views on here due to me not having the review up on time) but there’s a problem with it: I don’t remember most of the matches.  I remembered liking Payback a lot but I didn’t remember anything but Del Rio turning heel to beat Ziggler.  Cena vs. Ryback was a nice match but it didn’t leave any kind of an impression at all.  It’s a throwaway show and while good, it just doesn’t mean anything at the end of the day.

Slammiversary. Yeah TNA gets a nomination this year as their anniversary show was pretty freaking awesome.  AJ vs. Angle, a great four team tag and one of the best KNockout matches in years.  What else do you want from a show out of these guys?  On top of that there’s a decent Sting brawl, which to be fair is all he can really do anymore.  TNA can put things together and have a good show, but unfortunately they don’t have PPVs for the most part anymore.

Royal Rumble.  This was the runner up at a rating of an A-, the same as the winner.  I really liked the Ruble and there wasn’t a bad match on the show, but Rock beating Punk was the most obvious ending to a show as you’ll ever see.  The Shield interference helped a bit, but Rock might as well have carved his name onto that belt back in June when the title match was announced.  Very good show but not as great.

And the winner….

Summerslam.  This one really isn’t all that surprising again as it had two A+ matches on the same show.  That Punk vs. Lesnar match was as good of a brawl as you’ll find anywhere and the Cena vs. Bryan match was the best rub you’ll see this side of Austin passing out in the Sharpshooter.  Bryan debuting that running knee and knocking Cena out cold was perfect and the ending of the show made it even better.  I loved that delay right before Orton’s music hit as it made you unsure if something was happening or not.  On top of that there was a really good Christian vs. Del Rio match, making me think I underrated the show as a whole.  Summerslam was show of the year and it was by a pretty wide margin.

Tables Ladders and Chairs 2013
Date: December 15, 2013
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

We’re at the final PPV of the year and the main story tonight is of course the TLC title unification match between Orton and Cena to give us one world champion. It didn’t make a ton of sense when they did this in December of 2001 and it doesn’t make the most sense in December of 2013. This could headline Wrestlemania, but I guess they wants a big buyrate for December, so why not shoot everything they have at it and forget the incredible money it could draw four months from now. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Fandango vs. Dolph Ziggler

How was Ziggler world champion six months ago? Fandango puts him down with a shoulder block but walks into a nice dropkick. Ziggler is sent tot he floor and we take an early break. Back with Ziggler breaking out of a chinlock, only to get caught by a dropkick and rollup for two each. Dolph comes back with a quick Fameasser for two, causing Cole to say it’s shades of Billy Gunn, even though Ziggler has done more with that move than Gunn could ever dream of.

Ziggler pounds away in the corner and gets two off a clothesline. The Zig Zag is countered into a falcon’s arrow for two but he gets crotched going up top. Summer Rae distracts Ziggler though, allowing Fandango to hit the guillotine legdrop for the pin at 4:22. Too much was spent in the commercial to rate but the match was a glorified dark match with a surprise ending.

The pay per view opens with HHH and Stephanie coming to the arena. Vince was seen on the pre-show but is nowhere in sight here. Stephanie talks about what an important moment this is and acknowledges the crowd by saying YES, this is a huge moment. HHH says the World Championship dates back to Lou Thesz as champion (not true in the short version of a long story) and talks about how big tonight is.

The opening video talks about how the wrestling industry is defined by the champion and the future path of wrestling will be determined tonight. There will be only one if that wasn’t made clear.

Cole confirms that the winner will be the WWE World Heavyweight Champion which is the easiest layup possible.

CM Punk vs. Shield

Ambrose starts things up for Shield and feels Punk out a little bit. Punk wisely runs instead of being dragged into the Shield corner and shouts that he’s beaten Dean twice already so give someone else a shot. It’s off to Rollins so Punk bails to the floor to play some head games. Rollins chases him back into the ring and gets caught by some shoulders in the corner followed by three straight neckbreakers for two.

Seth fights up and brings in Reigns to throw Punk into the Shield corner. Rollins and Reigns make a wish on Punk’s legs before Seth hits a neckbreaker of his own. Back to Ambrose for some rib stomps before it’s off to Reigns for a hard clothesline. Shield is taking their time here instead of their usual fast tagging. Punk is thrown to the floor but still has enough in him to avoid Reigns’ spear over the announce table. Roman looks to have injured his eye when he went over the table.

Reigns is dazed but makes it back inside where Punk goes after his eyes. He rakes and punches away at it but Roman sends him outside again to get a breather. It’s off to Rollins as a doctor looks at Roman’s eye. A knee to Punk’s head is good for two but he shoves Rollins into Ambrose, knocking Dean to the floor. The high kick gets two on Seth and Punk speeds things up with ax handles to the face.

A great looking running knee in the corner sets up a high cross body for two and the Anaconda Vice is on. Ambrose makes a diving save and comes in off the tag. Dean loads up a superplex but gets headbutted down, setting up the Macho Elbow. The cover is delayed as Punk had to take out Rollins and Dean kicks out at two. Rollins charges in but gets caught in the GTS. Punk goes after Ambrose, only to sidestep a charging Reigns who spears Ambrose down by mistake. Punk sends him to the floor and gets the upset pin on Ambrose at 13:10.

Rating: C+. To clarify, Punk just beat the unbeatable Shield by pin with no outside interference. Let me guess: this is great, whereas if say Cena did this, it would be him playing Superman again. The match was fine but more storytelling than anything else. It should be interesting to see where Punk goes now, as he’s due for a return to the title picture after some time away.

AJ tells Renee that there’s only one Diva that matters around here. She isn’t on some silly reality show like Natalya and is going to be the one laughing after tonight. AJ is also counting days as champion now.

Divas Title: AJ Lee vs. Natalya

Natalya is challenging. AJ takes her down to start with a headscissors before Natalya reverses into an armbar. A low dropkick has Natalya in trouble so she heads outside, only to be distracted by Tamina, allowing AJ to send her face first into the apron. Off to a chinlock by AJ followed by a spinwheel kick to the jaw. Natalya comes back and sends AJ into the corner, only to get caught in a nice guillotine choke.

The blonde powers out and hits a basement dropkick to the face followed by some clotheslines. Some suplexes set up the Sharpshooter and Natalya brings her back to the middle of the ring, only to have AJ kick free. The Black Widow goes on but Natalya rolls out, breaking it for the first time. A clothesline puts AJ down again but another Sharpshooter attempt is countered into a small package for the pin at 6:42.

Rating: C. There were some nice false finishes in there but I’m over Natalya challenging for the title. AJ has completely cleaned out the division except for Tamina, setting up the showdown whenever they go that way. I’m sure we’ll hear about AJ vs. Total Divas again though, because just beating them about five PPVs in a row isn’t enough proof of who is better.

The announcers play up that AJ pulled hair to get the small package.

We get a video package on the world titles that we’ve seen on Raw and Smackdown with Flair and Rhodes and others talking about what winning the title means.

Intercontinental Title: Big E. Langston vs. Damien Sandow

Before the match, Sandow tells the Texas crowd some assorted phrases that are worthless: y’all, ye if followed by haw, and Big E. Langston: Intercontinental Champion. Nice touch. Langston throws the challenger into the corner to start and hits a corner splash to keep Damien in trouble. They head outside with Langston in trouble, only to miss a charge into the post to change momentum.

Back in and Damien pounds away at Big E.’s head before putting on a chinlock. The Wind-Up Elbow gets two for Sandow and we’re back to the chinlock again. Langston powers out of the hold and drops Damien with an electric chair. A belly to belly sets up the Warrior Splash for two but the Big Ending is countered into an Edge-O-Matic for two by Sandow. Another Big Ending attempt is countered into a small package for two but Langston is done messing around. He runs Sandow over with ease and the Big Ending is enough to retain the title at 6:25.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing you wouldn’t see on Smackdown. These two did virtually the same match with the same story earlier this year for Langston’s NXT Title so there was some practice coming in. Langston has a bright future and a title defense on PPV isn’t going to hurt him at all.

Vince is in the back and shakes Orton’s hand. They appeared to be talking but there was no sound.

We recap Kofi attacking Miz on the pre-show, setting up a No DQ match later tonight.

Tag Titles: Real Americans vs. Big Show/Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Rhodes and Goldust are defending and this is elimination rules. Ryback and Axel have both beaten the champions in the last few weeks while Big Show and Mysterio have teamed together I believe once. Ryback shoves Rhodes around to start but gets caught in a half crab, allowing Goldust to come in with an elbow to the back of Ryback’s head. Off to Axel for a nice dropkick, only to get caught in a wristlock.

Axel fights up but Goldust makes a tag off to Big Show who keeps up the arm work. There’s the skin ripping chop and the fans want it one more time. Show does it a third time and Axel sells it like he got shot. Mysterio comes in for some forearms but Axel sends him into the corner. Ryback gets the tag and pounds Mysterio down, only to bring Axel back in for something resembling stereo cross bodies to put both guys down.

Double tags bring in Ryback and Goldust with the champion scoring off the uppercut and a spinebuster. Ryback loads up a powerbomb but gets rolled up for the pin by Goldust, getting us down to three teams at 6:12. Cesaro comes in to pummel Goldust in the corner before it’s off to Swagger for a front facelock. The fans start chanting WE THE PEOPLE as Goldust is sent to the floor for a clothesline from Swagger.

Back inside and Cesaro gets two off the gutwrench suplex and we hit the chinlock. Off to Jack again for a bearhug as Big Show plays cheerleader for Goldust. Goldie fights back with right hands and a springboard elbow to the jaw. Cesaro easily takes him down and we get a short version Cesaro Swing. A Swagger belly to belly suplex puts Goldust down again and we get the Vader Bomb/double stomp sequence from the Real Americans for another two.

Antonio puts on another chinlock but this time Goldust escapes with a jawbreaker. Cesaro can’t break up the tag but Swagger runs around the ring and pulls Cody off the apron. Cody is holding his knee as Big Show throws Swagger into the barricade and Goldust catches Cesaro with a hurricanrana. A powerslam puts Cesaro down again and the hot tag brings in Big Show. Cesaro is thrown all over the ring and a shoulder block turns him inside out. Both Americans get punched in the jaw and Big Show pins Cesaro for the elimination at 14:42.

So we’re down to the two good guy teams but Big Show waits for the champions to get on their feet. A hard shoulder block puts Goldust on the floor and Cody gives him a somewhat angry pep talk. Goldust comes back in for a top rope cross body with Big Show waiting on the impact for about eight seconds. The chokeslam is countered into a DDT for two and it’s off to Cody for a double suplex on Big Show for two. The fans are rapidly losing interest.

Big Show swats a Disaster Kick out of the air and it’s off to Mysterio (remember him?) for a springboard seated senton to Cody. Now the Disaster Kick connects for two on Mysterio and Cody is getting frustrated. Cross Rhodes is countered into the 619 to both champions. Goldust is sent into the barricade by Big Show but Cody sends the giant into the post.

Cody tries a springboard dropkick but gets caught in a powerbomb by Rey (how often do you hear that?) for two. Cross Rhodes are countered again but the 619 is countered into an Alabama Slam which is countered into a sunset flip for a VERY close two. The third attempt at Cross Rhodes FINALLY connects for the pin to retain the titles at 21:06.

Rating: A-. This dragged a bit in the middle but man alive that ending was great. Cody and Goldust are just awesome right now and I’m so glad they didn’t give the titles to another thrown together team. I have no idea why the Usos weren’t in there somehow other than putting in two bigger names. Really good match here though.

A bunch of people play with Brawling Buddies in a head throbbing segment. The payoff is Kane scaring everyone off and having the Brodus Clay Buddy beat up the Cena Buddy. Cole: “…..Yep.”

Brodus Clay vs. R-Truth

Bonus match due to Brodus going nuts on Truth’s buddy Xavier Woods on Raw. Truth takes him into the corner to start and scores with a dropkick, sending Brodus to the floor. A nice dive takes Brodus out again but he comes right back with a Banzai Drop for no cover. He finally drags Truth back into the middle for two before throwing him corner to corner again.

A running splash in the corner crushes Truth but he still won’t go for the pin. They head outside with Tensai yelling at Clay to go for the win but instead Brodus puts Truth in the Tree of Woe. Tensai gets up on the apron for a shouting match before walking out. The Funkadactyls walk out as well and Truth hits a side kick into a rollup for the pin at 6:06.

Rating: D. This was much more of an angle than a match which is acceptable if they actually do something with Clay. The guy has a chance to be something interesting if he’s pushed properly, but given how they’ve pushed him twice before I can’t imagine it actually working. Good heel turn though.

Vince wishes Cena luck.

Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz

No DQ and set up by Miz attacking Kofi a few times recently in addition to the pre-show stuff earlier. Kofi goes nuts on Miz with right hands to start with Miz being sent to the floor. A Kofi dive is blocked by a right hand but Kingston drives him into the barricade. Miz is shoved up against the post but Kofi’s Trouble in Paradise hits the post, badly injuring his ankle in the process. Miz DDT’s the leg onto the floor and gets two back inside.

Kofi is in trouble but gets two off a quick rollup for a breather. Lawler talks about telegrams for some reason as Miz goes after the bad leg for some storytelling. Miz’s cannonball down onto the leg is countered with a kick to send him to the floor, only to have Kofi miss a dive, sending him into the barricade. Back in again and Miz unhooks a turnbuckle pad, setting up something big. The Skull Crushing Finale into the pad is countered into a rollup for two as we get a breather. Miz goes up but dives into a dropkick as a boring chant starts up. Back up and Kofi quickly sends Miz into the buckle to set up Trouble in Paradise for the pin at 8:03.

Rating: D+. This was longer than it needed to be and the ending didn’t do much for either guy. The leg stuff didn’t go anywhere at all which is one of the things that drives me crazy in matches. This feud isn’t going anywhere for either guy but they’re still feuding for no apparent reason.

Tribute to the Troops ad.

We recap Bryan vs. the Wyatts with Bray wanting Daniel to join the Family but getting kneed in the face instead.

Daniel Bryan vs. Wyatt Family

Bray of course sits in the rocking chair to start. Rowan gets us going for the team and takes Bryan’s head off with an elbow to the jaw. Daniel gets caught in the corner and it’s off to Harper for a lot of yeah yeah yeah. Bryan comes back with the surfboard knee stomps and some kicks but a shot to the ribs gives Luke control. Back to Rowan for some shots to the gut and a bearhug to slow the match down.

Harper slams Daniel down and Bray stands up. Wyatt himself comes in and shouts that he could have helped Daniel before splashing him in the corner. Bray goes nuts on Bryan before stopping for that evil look of his. A suplex/toss sends Daniel flying and Bray does the incredibly creepy Exorcist spider walk over to the corner for a tag to Harper. Fans: “THAT WAS CREEPY!”

Luke puts on a chinlock before Rowan throws Daniel back into the corner. A big boot from Harper puts Bryan down and it’s back to Bray who shouts about the fans. He offers Daniel his hand but Daniel kicks it away and pounds on Wyatt’s jaw. Bray will have none of that though and runs Daniel over before bringing Harper back in. Back up and Bryan avoids a charging Bray to send him into Rowan before avoiding a running big boot from Harper.

Daniel busts out an awesome belly to back superplex on Luke for two before firing off the kicks. The big one to the head sets up the swan dive but Daniel has to fire off the kicks to Rowan, tying him up in the ropes. A tag brings in Bray who gets rolled up for two but Wyatt runs him over again. Bryan is whipped into the ropes but he scores with the FLYING GOAT to Harper. Back in the missile dropkick drops Bray but he counters the YES Lock and pummels Bryan down. Sister Abigail ends Bryan at 12:25.

Rating: B-. I was digging this a lot by the end with Bryan giving it everything he had. The most interesting thing here though was Wyatt. He’s the kind of guy who you just have to watch when he’s on screen, which is a rare thing to find anymore. In a word, he’s mesmerizing. As for the result, there’s no way you can put both singles guys over in the handicap matches and it doesn’t hurt Bryan to lose here at all.

The expert panel (Booker and Foley) talk a bit.

We recap Orton vs. Cena which has been covered already. It’s to determine who is champion of champions and we get the video package of their parallel histories from Smackdown.

WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Randy Orton vs. John Cena

TLC match, winner take all. They have a ton of time to used for this too. Naturally we get big match intros and we’re ready to go. They head into the corner to start and Cena grabs a headlock. The wrestling gets boring though and we get our first ladder and table with the wooden one being set up in the corner. Orton escapes an AA through the table and heads to the floor for a chair. Cena can’t avoid the shot to the back and Randy is in control.

They head outside again but Orton misses a chair shot and hits the post, allowing Cena to pick up the chair. A series of chair shots puts Orton down and John loads up another table on the floor. The distraction lets Orton send him into the steps to take over again as the dueling Cena chants begin. Orton tries to climb but Cena makes a fast save. The ladder is thrown to the floor and Orton headbutts him down. Some kicks to the ribs have Cena in trouble but he comes back with knees and right hands, only to walk into the powerslam.

Randy brings in another ladder but gets it rammed into his ribs, allowing Cena to climb. Orton quickly suplexes him down but misses a ladder shot, sending the ladder to the floor. That’s fine with Orton though as he cracks Cena in the back with a chair before wedging it into the corner. Cena blocks the shot into the chair and comes back with his finishing sequence, only to have Orton poke him in the eye and send him into the chair. Another ladder is brought in but Cena makes yet another save.

They both fight on the ladder until Cena throws Orton over the top and through the table. He can’t climb that fast though and Orton pulls him down for an RKO. Both guys are down again but it’s Cena up first with a clothesline to send him to the floor. Cena blasts Orton in the head with the steps and Randy might be busted a little bit. John brings in another table, giving us two tables in opposite corners. With all of the metal stuff at ringside, Orton hits Cena in the head with the microphone to take over again.

Orton loads up the announce table but instead clears out a path to Cena. John avoids the Punt though and catches Orton in an AA through the table to put both guys down again. Cena very slowly gets back in and grabs both belts without pulling them down. Instead it’s Orton shoving the ladder away to leave Cena hanging, allowing Orton a free shot with the chair. Cena comes right back with a spear through one of the tables and both guys are down again.

Randy heads outside again and starts peeling back the mats to find some hidden handcuffs. Cena gets tied to the bottom rope and Orton teases him with the key. This didn’t work at Breaking Point but call backs to old matches are usually fun. Cena tries to break the chain as Orton goes to pick up the big ladder for some shots to Cena’s ribs.

Randy goes back inside as Cena beats on the cuffs with a chair to no avail. Cena pulls hard enough to rip the bottom rope off and go up to knock Orton off the ladder but he only has one free arm due to the rope. Orton grabs the rope and uses the power of gravity to pull Cena down, sending him head first into the table which DOESN’T BREAK. That looked bad. Orton goes up again and pulls down both titles for the surprise win at 24:35.

Rating: B. I liked the match and the ropes idea was good, but that ending came out of nowhere. Given how badly Cena’s head went into that table, I wouldn’t be shocked if he had an actual injury. Orton winning makes more sense but I’m kind of shocked it was clean. Well as clean as you can get in a TLC match of course. Good stuff here but the ending leaves a lot of doors open.

Post match here’s the Authority and Vince to congratulate Orton with no drama to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This show was about one match and the match delivered. The handicap matches both worked quite well too and the tag match ROCKED. It wasn’t a classic show or anything but it was much better overall than I expected. The ending sets up a lot of questions about where we’re going, but that makes things all the more interesting. Good show here and a solid ending to the year.

Results

CM Punk b. Shield – Punk pinned Ambrose after a spear from Reigns

AJ Lee b. Natalya – Small package

Big E. Langston b. Damien Sandow – Big Ending

Cody Rhodes/Goldust b. Real Americans, Big Show/Rey Mysterio and Ryback/Curtis Axel – Cross Rhodes to Mysterio

Kofi Kingston b. The Miz – Trouble in Paradise

Wyatt Family b. Daniel Bryan – Sister Abigail

Randy Orton b. John Cena – Orton pulled down the title belts

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of In Your House at Amazon for just $4 at:

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This contains spoilers for the Punk vs. Shield match.Punk just beat Shield by pin, 3-1.

Now when Cena beat two of them and a third by DQ, fans were nearly rioting. Why do I have a feeling this is going to result in the complete opposite?

It’s not completely different.  It was Punk pinning Shield in a handicap match with no help.  It was even harder for Punk as the Cena match in question was an elimination tag.  But hey, Cena sucks and Punk is AMAZING right?

My pick surprised me here.This is a hard one to pick as almost nothing stood head and shoulders above everything else this year.  I’ll eliminate Bryan vs. Orton as the multiple screwjob endings really dragged it down.  Bryan is definitely a bigger star as a result, but it didn’t feel like a satisfying ending at all.

Aces and 8’s vs. TNA…..just no.

For second place I’ll go with Punk vs. Heyman.  Yeah the promos were great and Lesnar vs. Punk might be match of the year, but the stuff with Axel and Ryback just killed time and Punk’s “extreme” attacks on Heyman were just lame.  The feud had its moments but there was too much bad stuff in there for it to hold up.

I’m going to give this to the Rhodes Family vs. the Authority.  The promos from Dusty were excellent, the matches with Shield got better and better every time with the tag title change being one of the best moments of the year, and the payoff actually worked.  Also, we’re getting one of the best comebacks ever from Goldust and it’s going to make Cody look like a bigger star that he ever has before.  It’s an awesome feud and the brothers are still riding momentum from it.

Based on the stats breakdown I get for the site, these are the most popular thing I have other than live reviews so I’ll try to do these more often.

This is one I’ve thought about before but it’s really true when you look at the state of wrestling around Wrestlemania time.

It’s not fair to compare any organization to WWE.  Really, it isn’t.  WWE has been around far longer than any other mainstream organization, has the name recognition, the talent, the skill, the technique and I could go on and on.  It’s not fair to say that TNA isn’t living up to the WWE standards in the same way it’s not fair to compare a high school athlete to a pro athlete.  No, TNA isn’t reaching the same audience that WWE is reaching, but no one is and no one will, possibly ever.  It’s like comparing anyone in wrestling today to John Cena.  They might be some of the most accomplished people today, but they’re just not on that level, no matter how you look at it.

To clarify: that’s not a knock on TNA or any single performer other than Cena.  It’s simply not a fair comparison to make and to put a juggernaut up against a normal product, even if they’re second best, can’t realistically be done.

It’s awards time again.  I’ve got 18 awards to hand out this year and as is my custom, I’ll be doing one of these a day until the end of the year, which just so happens to be the day the Royal Rumble Count-Up stars.  Up first: Worst Angle of the Year.I know it’s easy, but I’m going with Big Show’s firing/crying/threats of lawsuits.  This story went on for months, never gave us any real conclusion (Big Show got cheated out of the title match and just started teaming with Mysterio like nothing happened) and wost of all, it involved LAWYERS.

This is rapidly becoming one of the most annoying things in wrestling.  It’s in WWE, TNA and was in ROH during the few weeks I watched their TV show.  WWE has become obsessed with this idea and even had a recurring lawyer character in David Otunga (which is understandable as he actually is a lawyer).  Think about it though: Christian used to threaten lawsuits for one more match, Del Rio threatened legal action against Sheamus, everyone threatens lawsuits against everyone at times and dear goodness it gets old fast.  Stop having wrestlers hide behind lawyers and have them FIGHT.

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 12, 2011
Location: Norfolk Scope Arena, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the Slammys! I used to love these things when I was a kid and they were so campy and entertaining. Now they’re just kind of here and they’re usually a way to have some minor stories set up for the next few weeks/months. The main event tonight is Cena vs. Henry, which somehow is a pretty big showdown. It’s also the go home show for TLC, which is kind of a minor aspect given the three hour nature of this. Let’s get to it.

We open with a Slammy presentation. This is for the Tell Me I Did Not Just See That Moment of the Year. Booker presents it…along with Horny. Horny has an afro wig and keeps doing chest bumps with Booker.

The nominees are:

JR dancing
Santino almost winning the Royal Rumble
A fan throws water at R-Truth
Miz impersonates Rock

It’s JR dancing. I can live with that as that was pretty awesome. JR comes out…and here’s Cole to cut him off because that’s what Cole does. Cole says JR is fat and Booker calls him a loser. Strap in people: Cole vs. Booker can go on for HOURS. Booker says JR can beat Cole in a rap off. Cole’s is awful and I think everyone expected that. JR says he doesn’t need music. His actually has something resembling a rhythm to it and there’s music to it anyway. And then he stops rhyming all together. Guess who the fans say win. This very well may have been the worst opening in the history of professional wrestling.

Oh and JR does a Spinarooni. Ok more like he looks like he has a heart attack and convulses on the mat for a bit.

Here are Foley and Ted DiBiase Senior to present the Holy Censored Moment of the Year. This pairing is about as awesome as anything in the history of, ahem, Mankind. They try to figure out why they’re paired together. DiBiase says that he is an ordained minister. Foley: “So if that makes you the holy, then I guess that makes me the…..” DiBise: *EVIL LAUGH*

The nominees are:

Sheamus powerbombs Sin Cara through a ladder
The RKO to a leaping Christian onto the steps
The ring breaking
Evan Bourne’s shooting star off the ladder

Gee I wonder what’s going to win. If you can’t figure this out, you fail. Show comes out to accept and thanks the Sports Entertainment Academy of Arts and Sports. He thinks the World Heavyweight Championship would look good next to the Slammy. Nice little promo for the match on Sunday and for his match which is next.

Big Show vs. Wade Barrett

Barrett says what he’ll do to Orton at TLC will earn him that award Big Show just won. Then again that award is for something unexpected and everyone knows what he’s going to do to Orton. After a break we’re joined in progress with Barrett on the floor trying to get up. There’s a table set up at ringside now. There’s also a chair and a ladder. Barrett avoids going through the table and hits a big boot to put Show’s head on the table.

Show gets up as Barrett is ready to jump and then the bald man breaks the table. With Barrett on the apron on the outside, Show chops him in the chest and knocks him into the ring. Barrett goes to the floor and brings in a chair. Show knocks it out of his hands….and wins by DQ at 1:38? It’s going to be one of those nights isn’t it?

Of all people, the Road Dogg is doing this one. Yes, that Road Dogg. He’s in a DX shirt and is doing the Pipe Bomb of the year, which I think is the weird moment of the year.

There aren’t any real nominees but more along the lines of a bunch of R-Truth moments plus a hand full of others. This is just a big comedy montage for all intents and purposes, which is a great reminder of some stuff, namely Punk and Truth. The winner is…..CM Punk. Ok I can live with that.

Punk comes out with….a mannequin? It’s got a blonde wig and a t-shirt that says…..OH MY GOODNESS IT’S A DYNAMIC DUDES SHIRT!!!!! Punk says that he wants to talk about something tonight that is a special cause. This person works behind the scenes and is incredibly boring, just like this mannequin. Naturally it’s Johnny Ace and Punk has a tribute video. It’s set to a song that I’ve heard before but can’t place. We get Dynamic Dudes clips in there too which makes this worth a smile. After the video Punk is trying not to crack up. He accepts the award on Punk’s behalf and does a decent impression of him.

Lita is here to present the Divalicious Moment of the Year. Yep she’s still hot. I don’t think half the people know who she is.

The nominees are:

Natalya putting the Sharpshooter on Eve and I think Alicia.
Kelly winning the Divas Title.
Kharma destroying Michelle.
Beth’s top rope Glam Slam to Eve.

Of course it goes to Kelly because she’s supposed to be some kind of female hero or something. Beth comes out to take the award from her and gets slapped.

Santino presents the OMG Moment of the Year. The Bellas are with him and they look good in those red dresses. After an argument over whether it’s o-m-g or OMG (pronounced like a word), here are the nominees.

HHH tombstones the Undertaker.
Rock Bottom to Cena at Mania.
The Walk Out.
Punk Leaves With The Title.

HHH wins. Are you freaking kidding me? He makes his big return with the hammer…and walks to the ring without his award. HHH says the real OMG moment was having Taker carried out for the first time in his career. He says the Undertaker is no more. HHH takes credit for ending the Streak. Are you kidding me? We get the video of Nash hitting him with the hammer a few months ago.

He says that maybe their 16 year relationship was based on lies and this Sunday all the lies and deceptions end. On Sunday he’ll show the world that he’s right and that Nash is simply done. Well he was done 13 years ago. Do we really need a match for that? HHH leaves and implies he’ll hit Santino with the hammer but lets him run instead.

Otunga and Tony Atlas are here for the Trending Superstar of the Year. Tony does the laugh as Otunga tries to be serious. The award goes to whichever superstar listed is trending on Twitter the fastest. Get this over with. They’ll be in a fatal fourway with the winner of the match meaning nothing but the first to be trending winning the Slammy.

Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder

Or is the winner of the match the winner of the award? Do they have any idea what’s going on here? Ryder and Bryan send the champs to the floor and hit stereo dives as we take a break. Back with Ryder and Bryan squaring off and they change the rules AGAIN, saying that it’s whoever trends first. THEN WHY HAVE THE MATCH??? Bryan and Ryder have a decent back and forth segment with them hitting cross bodies to put them both down.

Rhodes and Ziggler tease a staredown but think better of it so they can stomp the good guys. They get in a shoving match and Bryan tries to steal a pin. Rhodes and Bryan have a LONG pinfall reversal sequence but Bryan is sent to the floor. Ryder follows him and Ziggler tries to roll up Rhodes. Alabama Slam to Dolph gets two. They take a second break with Cody standing tall.

Back with Rhodes having Ryder in a Figure Four which doesn’t last long. Rhodes charges into some knees in the corner but Dolph breaks up the Broski Boot. Everyone is in the ring and everyone goes down. Beautiful Disaster hits Ziggler for two and Bryan goes off with the rapid fire kicks to Cody. Bryan goes up but gets crotched. Ziggler gets drilled by Ryder but stops Ryder as he goes up. Both heels hit superplexes and everyone is down again. Rough Ryder to Ziggler, Cross Rhodes to Ryder, LeBell Lock to Rhodes, Sleeper to Bryan, Zig Zag to Bryan and that gets the pin at 15:22.

Rating: B-. Fun match but as Lawler said, the match wasn’t important. What was important was trending on Twitter. That right there sums up almost everything that is wrong with Raw anymore. They’re so obsessed with getting people to notice them and accept them because they’re trending on Twitter 50 times a night and they have to tell us they’re trending on Twitter 50 times a night and it drives people crazy. And they wonder why no one buys their PPVs and why no one is watching their shows.

Ryder wins the award, because the match was pointless. He gets a Zig Zag for his efforts.

Christian returns to present Game Changer of the Year. He gives himself courageous moment of the year first of all. This is for one moment that changes everything. Here are the nominees.

HHH telling Vince and the pink jacket that he’s relieved of his duties.
Edge’s retirement speech.
Kevin Nash returns.
Rock and Cena making the main event of Mania a year early.

Cena and Rock win, as they probably should. Cena says he should only get half of the credit for this and introduces Rock. Oh wait this is a live show so he’s not here. “But he said he’d never leave!” We do have a satellite clip though. Oh wait no we don’t because he didn’t have time for that either. “This is worse than JR’s rap.” He apologizes for Team Bring It for not bringing it. However, this makes the award mean more because Rock is going to see this soon and hopefully it fires him up even more. This award is for changing the game for a year, but at Mania they change the game forever.

Alberto Del Rio/The Miz vs. CM Punk/Randy Orton

Punk vs. Miz starts us off. Off to Del Rio vs. Orton quickly and the Viper gets beaten down by both heels. We’re in standard tag formula mode quickly tonight. Punk gets a hot tag quickly and cleans house but the GTS is broken up, allowing Miz to guillotine Punk on the ropes as we take a break. Back with Punk backsliding Miz for two. Del Rio comes in and works over the arm a lot.

This is your usual main event style tag match: it’s the same formula with one guy getting beaten down for a long time until the other big face comes in off a hot tag and cleans house to set up the ending. The Finale and the GTS are countered but Punk’s kick to the head of Miz can’t get the tag. Barrett runs in through the crowd to take out Orton. Miz can’t hit the corner clothesline but he counters the GTS into the Finale for the clean pin on Punk at 12:42. Forget what I said about the formula I guess.

Rating: C-. The ending was a VERY nice surprise and it gives some heat to the main event on Sunday, which is certainly a good thing. Not a horrible match but Del Rio and Miz are pretty weak in the ring. Del Rio is boring all around but that goes without saying. It helped to push the title match though so that made it a lot better.

Miz and Del Rio beat up Punk post match and he gets put in the armbreaker using the ladder.

Vickie presents A-Lister of the Year. And here’s Goldust to present with her. He says she wears more makeup than she does.

The nominees are:

The Muppets
Hugh Jackman
Snooki
Cee-Lo Green

And it goes to Snooki because the WWE is stupid. She gives a pre-recorded message.

Mark Henry says he’ll do more to Big Show Sunday than he has already.

Here’s Sheamus but he’s interrupted by Jinder Mahal. Ok then. He rambles for awhile and gets his head kicked off. That’s it. There’s a referee there but there was no bell and no cover or anything.

Rey Mysterio comes out to present Superstar of the Year. The nominees are:

Orton
Miz
Henry
Punk
Del Rio
Cena

Ace comes out and accepts for him because he’s banged up.

Second Coming video. The word control flashes on the screen to end this.

We hear a story about a soldier in Afghanistan that hugged Vince when she saw him and opened her phone to show him her son with a WWE Title belt. Her son and husband are in the front row. That’s cool.

Mark Henry vs. John Cena

This is due to Cena costing Henry a win last week over Ryder. The bell rang at 1055 so this isn’t going to last long. We go to a break less than a minute in. Back with Henry in control,. Cena tries a slam but falls backwards. Off to a neck vice but Cena suplexes his way out of it. He hits the Shuffle but collapses on an AA attempt which gets two for Mark. Henry calls Cena Mr. USA I think.

Cena avoids a powerslam and hammers away but the shoulders don’t put Henry down. Instead Cena jumps into a bearhug and he’s in trouble. He escapes for a few seconds and hits the Slam but falls down afterwards. Then some fire goes off and KANE is back. He has a modified version of the old music and looks like he’s wearing a metal mask. He chokeslams Cena and I guess it’s thrown out at we’ll say 9 minutes. The mask looks ridiculous, but he takes it off post chokeslam to reveal a more traditional one. There’s Cena’s match for Sunday I guess.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but the end was the whole point of it. Kane was someone that needed to return, if nothing else to give Cena something to do on Sunday. The mask being back….why? His video has the shot of him not in a mask, but he’s wearing one here. I don’t get it, but that sums up most of WWE at this point for me.

Overall Rating: D+. This show didn’t do it for me. I mean it really didn’t do it for me. The awards were pretty weak and while there were a few nice surprises, they didn’t really help get the show going, at least not for me. It wasn’t bad and I’ve definitely seen worse stuff, but this didn’t do much. The crowd didn’t care but I think that’s due to the nature of the show more than anything else. Too much talking too and not a good show overall, but it had its spots. Nice surprise at the end too.

Results
Big Show b. Wade Barrett via DQ when Barrett used a chair
Dolph Ziggler b. Daniel Bryan, Cody Rhodes and Zach Ryder – Zig Zag to Bryan
The Miz/Alberto Del Rio b. Randy Orton/CM Punk – Skull Crushing Finale to Punk
John Cena vs. Mark Henry went to a no contest when Kane interfered

Here’s TLC if you’re interested:

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