Battleground 2013: Ode To The Attitude Era And That’s Not A Good Thing

Battleground 2013
Date: October 6, 2013
Location: First Niagara Center, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’ve arrived at one of the least interesting shows in recent memory. There’s just not much interest in this show and I can’t say I’m surprised. The world title matches are both rematches and the other two main matches aren’t anything huge. There just isn’t much to go on with this show and it’s going to be even worse next time with HIAC. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Dolph Ziggler vs. Damien Sandow

Sandow quotes Benjamin Franklin and talks about progress. Tonight he’ll show you what progress is about by beating a former Money in the Bank winner, but if the hardcore match goes the way he thinks, you’ll see him again as World Heavyweight Champion. Sandow grabs a headlock to start before taking Ziggler down with some clotheslines. Ziggler comes right back with a dropkick and the ten elbow drops to wake the crowd up. Damien will have none of this being in trouble stuff though and whips Ziggler over the corner as we take a break.

Back with Dolph getting two off a small package, only to get clotheslined down for the same result. We hit an arm stretch by Sandow for a bit before Sandow goes up, only to jump into a dropkick to the shoulder. Ziggler comes back with ten right hands in the corner but misses the Fameasser and gets caught with an Edge-O-Matic for two.

Damien kicks out the knee and hits a flip neckbreaker for two more as this match just keeps going. The Terminus is countered and the Fameasser gets a near fall for Dolph. Damien blocks the Zig Zag and rolls Ziggler up for two but tweaks his knee coming out of the corner, allowing Dolph to hit the Zig Zag for the pin at 10:11.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t terrible but man alive it wasn’t interesting. Both of these guys have been beaten down so much that it’s almost impossible to care about either one of them. The stakes in this match were so low and the match just kept going, making it even worse. Not much of interest here but it wasn’t the worst match ever with some decent near falls.

The opening video recaps the Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton feud.

World Heavyweight Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio is defending and this is a hardcore match. Alberto immediately heads to the floor but gets dropkicked through the ropes to give Van Dam control. A moonsault off the barricade puts the champion down and a slingshot DDT onto a chair gets two back inside. Alberto comes back with a wicked Backstabber for two before a few chair shots get the same. The chair is wedged between the top and middle ropes but Rob comes back with a kick to the face.

Rob pulls out a ladder and blasts Alberto in the face to knock him out to the floor. Back in and Rolling Thunder onto Del Rio onto the ladder only hits the ladder and the champion takes over. He snaps off the enziguri and stomps the ladder onto Rob for two before grabbing a trashcan. Rob dropkicks it back into his face and both guys are down.

A superkick puts the champion down and there’s the split legged moonsault onto Del Rio onto the ladder for two. Rolling Thunder hits the ladder again and there’s the armbreaker. Ricardo makes the save by hitting Del Rio with the bucket, earning himself a trip to the floor and a whip into the barricade.

Rob dropkicks the ladder into Del Rio and hits the Five Star onto the ladder onto Del Rio on the floor. Back in (I guess hardcore no longer means pinfalls count anywhere) Del Rio kicks out at two. A Van Terminator attempt misses and both guys are down. Del Rio gets the chair and drops Rob face first onto the steel before kicking Rob in the head to take over. He wraps it around the arm crushes it in the chair and puts on the armbreaker to retain at 16:03.

Rating: C+. The match was fun but again I don’t get the appeal of this feud at all. There isn’t much chemistry here and hopefully this is it between these two. The gimmick helped a bit but Del Rio’s title reign is just dragging at this point. He’s not bad in the ring at all but he’s crashed into the ceiling of his abilities and it’s hurting everyone now.

The Real Americans want to dip Khali and Santino in boiling hot oil. They also don’t like Buffalo that much.

Santino Marella/Great Khali vs. Real Americans

Swagger and Santino fight over a top wristlock to start with Jack taking him to the mat. Santino still can’t do the nipup so the fans chant for the Real Americans. Santino loads up the Cobra but Swagger bails to the floor, only to have to deal with Horny’s mini-Cobra. Thankfully Jack rips it up and goes back inside so Cesaro can stomp him Marella down a bit. Cesaro steals the stupid sock and it’s back to Swagger for a Vader Bomb and a running stomp by Antonio.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before it’s back to Swagger to pull on Santino’s arms. Santino suplexes out of it and finally brings in Khali. The giant pounds Cesaro down in the corner and hits the loud overhand chop. JBL: “That knocked one of the languages out of Cesaro.” Khali chops both Real Americans down and Santino dives over the top to take out Swagger. We FINALLY get to the point of the match as Cesaro swings Khali around for a remarkable 17 seconds and gets the pin at 7:05.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing of note other than the ending, but to be fair that’s what the entire match was designed to set up. Cesaro is going to have to be a face soon if he keeps swinging people around as it’s such an awesome looking move that people aren’t going to boo him. Now let’s see how WWE screws up with him and wastes his potential again.

Breast cancer is bad.

Intercontinental Title: R-Truth vs. Curtis Axel

This is the result of Truth beating Axel on a fluke earlier this week. Truth takes over to start by pounding away in the corner and sends Axel to the floor. Axel sends Truth into the barricade a few times for two back inside and the match slows down. The champion chokes Truth a bit and gets two off a dropkick before we hit the chinlock. Truth fights up and hits some forearms to set up a rollup for two. The spinning forearm gets the same and so does the sitout gordbuster. Axel sends him into the buckle and the fans chant boring. Thankfully Axel listens to them and hits his neckbreaker into a cutter to retain at 6:32.

Rating: D. I’m really getting tired of this idea of some random guy pins the champion and getting a title shot as a result. Instead, why not have Truth beat a bunch of guys (say everyone in 3MB, Swagger and one other guy) and earns a title shot as a result? It makes Axel look like he’s beating someone of note and gives Truth some credibility coming into the match. Nah that’s a stupid idea so let’s just have them trade wins like they do all the time.

We recap the pre-show.

Divas Title: AJ Lee vs. Brie Bella

Brie is challenging and takes AJ down with ease, sending the champion out to the floor. AJ hides behind Tamina and heads back inside to take over. Brie is sent into the post and AJ goes after the arm, wrapping it around the middle rope. Brie’s DDT is countered into a DDT on the arm for two before sending her shoulder first “into” the post.

AJ keeps shouting about being better than Brie before going off on the bad arm with elbows. Off to a Fujiwara Armbar but AJ lets it go to skip around the ring. Brie dropkicks her down and hits some really basic stuff before knocking AJ down with a running knee. Tamina is choking Nikki Bella down though and the distraction lets AJ roll up Brie for the pin with a handful of tights at 6:32.

Rating: D+. To recap this story, AJ won the Divas Title clean, defeated every one of the Total Divas in the same match with a completely clean submission hold, and has held the title against all of them, but we’re supposed to boo her because the other girls are catty to each other on a reality show. The match was nothing you wouldn’t see on Raw, but the fans were more into it than they were the IC Title match.

We recap the Rhodes Family’s troubles, setting up the tag match tonight.

Dusty and his kids are ready for Shield. Cody gives a great speech about how his family may not be perfect but they fight for each other.

Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Seth Rollins/Roman Reigns

If the Rhodes Family wins, they get their jobs back. If Shield wins, Cody and Goldust are gone forever and Dusty loses his job too. This is also non-title. Dusty is at ringside to counter act Dean Ambrose and Goldust looks like Darth Maul. Cody pounds away on Seth to start and it’s quickly off to Roman who gets pounded down in the corner. Shield bails to the floor and stalks Dusty, setting up a cool looking six man standoff with the brothers protecting their dad.

Back in and Roman knees Cody down as the champions take over. Seth comes in but walks into an elbow to the jaw and a stomping in the corner. Rollins sends him into the buckle to escape and it’s off to Roman for some power. After an easy pounding it’s quickly back to Rollins to crank on the shoulder a bit. Cody gets caught in the Tree of Woe but frees up a leg to kick Seth down. The moonsault press hits Rollins perfectly and the hot tag brings in Goldust.

An atomic drop slows Reigns down and Goldust pounds him down in the corner. Goldust hits a spinning cross body off the top for two but misses a regular cross body, sending him out to the floor. Goldie dives back in at nine but gets caught in a body scissors from Rollins. Back to Reigns for a good looking clothesline for two before it’s back to Rollins who gets the same off a hilo. Goldust comes back by avoiding a dropkick and powerslamming Seth down. There’s the hot tag off to Cody for an Alabama Slam to Rollins for a very near fall. Something like a Muscle Buster gets two on Rollins and everything breaks down. The Disaster Kick staggers Reigns and Cody clotheslines him to the floor but an Ambrose distraction allows Seth to come back in for the save. Dusty elbows Ambrose down and Seth rolls up Cody for two. Rhodes comes pops back up and hits Cross Rhodes for the pin at 13:55.

Rating: B. This was ALL about emotion coming in but the match was good stuff on top of that. Again, this match worked because we were given a reason to care about the underdogs and wanted to see them win instead of being told we wanted to see them win. That’s how you make a good story and it worked perfectly well here.

The Rhodes family celebrates and some tag teams, Mike Rotundo and Arn Anderson come out to celebrate. The old school fan in me cringes at Dusty and Arn celebrating together.

Hell in a Cell ad with R-Truth preaching against its evils.

The expert panel of Tensai, Titus O’Neil and Miz talk about the show so far.

Brad and Vickie bicker about who is at fault for the Rhodes’ win.

Kofi Kingston vs. Bray Wyatt

Bray runs him over to start but Kofi comes back with a kick to the face. Kofi gets crotched while going up top so Bray can take over with some shots to the ribs and a neck lock. The fans start the Randy Savage chants as the match drags on. Kofi fights up but gets caught in another chinlock. Back up again and Kofi hits a dropkick followed by the Boom Drop, only to miss Trouble in Paradise.

Bray runs Kingston over with the cross body before going to the corner to bend back and look at Kofi upside down. Wyatt ups the ante a bit though by doing the Exorcist spider walk, sending Kofi running to the floor. Bray follows him out but Kofi runs back in and hits a BIG flip dive to take out the entire Family. Back in and Kofi gets two off a cross body, but the SOS is countered into Sister Abigail’s Kiss for the pin at 8:37.

Rating: C-. Those rest holds were death but Bray was so freaky in this match with the spider walk and Kofi’s dive helped a lot too. This show is dying as it goes though and the match didn’t help a lot. The Wyatts need to move up the card, but at least their antics are still creepy enough to make you take notice.

We recap Punk vs. Ryback. There’s not much to this one: Punk was about to kill Heyman last month when Ryback interfered as the newest Paul Heyman Guy. Tonight is Punk’s first step back towards revenge and Heyman himself.

CM Punk vs. Ryback

They stare at each other to start until Punk fires off some kicks to the legs, sending Ryback out to the floor. Punk follows him out and sends Ryback face first into the barricade and then into the post for good measure. Ryback shrugs it off and takes Punk back inside for a slam off the top to gain control. Punk’s ribs are sent into the post and we hit the chinlock.

A legdrop gets two on Punk and Ryback pounds away with some hard kicks. Ryback stays on Punk and shoves him around with his boot as this is still in slow motion. Off to a chinlock with a bodyscissors as the fans are getting restless. Punk finally comes back with some kicks and a swinging neckbreaker but Heyman grabs a mic and brags about beating Punk, allowing Ryback to come back back with a huge powerbomb for two.

Another powerbomb attempt is countered with a kick to the head and the Macho Elbow for two. Ryback fights out of the GTS and powerslams Punk down for two of his own. Punk is choked on the ropes, allowing Heyman to load up a kendo stick shot as the referee pulls Ryback away. The referee does his job for once though and catches Heyman before the swing, allowing Punk to low blow Ryback for the pin at 14:51.

Rating: C+. This was fine but the ending left a lot to be desired. Ryback is a lot better just showing off with power moves but the ending was never really in doubt as the story has to get to Punk vs. Heyman. That’s not a bad thing but like the rest of this show, it feels like an exercise in pointlessness.

New Match Added To Battleground

It’s Santino/Khali vs. Real Americans. My prediction:Cesaro somehow gets Khali in the giant swing, then loses to Santino via rollup, followed by me throwing things and ranting about how stupid WWE is.

Thought of the Day: Inside CM Punk’s Bubble

So a common criticism at the moment is CM Punk is ignoring the current regime storyline and just focusing on Paul Heyman. Why are people complaining about this?Punk talked for weeks about how much he hated Paul Heyman and wanted to take him out no matter what. He said there was nothing that would stop him from running through everyone Heyman could throw at him until he got to Heyman himself and that’s exactly what he’s doing.

So why are people complaining? Punk is doing EXACTLY what he said he was going to do, meaning he’s sticking to the story that was set up for him. Why is this such a horrible thing? Punk will finish up with Heyman soon and then he’ll go after HHH and the new regime. That’s not a bad thing at all.

Smackdown – October 4, 2013: WWE Plays Monopoly

Smackdown
Date: October 4, 2013
Location: Riverside Centroplex, Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the final show before Battleground and the company has gone from on fire to limping into the PPV in a matter of weeks. Bryan vs. Orton is the main event on Sunday again but it feels like an afterthought. The problem is it doesn’t feel like an afterthought to any specific thing as none of the matches feel like a big deal at all. The main event tonight is Big Show vs. Shield so I guess that’s our focus tonight. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap shows Orton laying out Bryan to end Raw. The Bellas being involved makes me roll my eyes.

Theme song.

Here’s Big Show to open things up. Show says he’s been embarrassed of how he’s treated some people lately and we get a knockout montage. Big Show talks about Stephanie and HHH holding the job over his head and how some people can understand what it’s like to have to do things they don’t want to do. He knows he can’t be forgiven but asks for some understanding.

After what his wife said to Stephanie he isn’t even sure if he’s a man anymore. There’s so much anger and frustration built up inside of him that he threatened to knock HHH out on Monday. If he had done it though he would have been fired, but just for threatening it he has to face the Shield in a handicap match. However, if he’s going down he’s taking Shield with him.

Cue HHH because what would an opening segment be without him? He’s ashamed that Big Show doesn’t like his leadership, but Big Show’s frustration and financial and marital problems are all on Big Show. HHH has considered Big Show a friend for the last 20 years, meaning he knew Big Show in college, two years before Show had his first match in WCW.

HHH holds up Big Show’s mortgage, which apparently he’s paid, meaning Big Show owes him rather than the bank. Therefore, either Big Show gets his emotions in check or HHH moves into Big Show’s house. As for tonight, since Big Show is so crazy, we’ll make the main event Big Show vs. Shield/Randy Orton. And Big Show is crushed yet again, because there will be NO strong heroes in this company.

Rob Van Dam vs. Fandango

The announcers spend all of Fandango’s entrance talking about breast cancer and how pink everything is. Fandango dances to start so RVD does the finger points, earning himself an elbow to the head. Rob comes back with kicks in the corner and a monkey flip to take over. Van Dam goes to the apron but gets knocked to the floor as we take a break. Back with Rob coming off the middle rope with a kick to the face and some regular kicks for good measure. Rolling Thunder connects but Summer breaks up the Five Star for the DQ at 2:30 shown of 5:00. This match needed a break?

Fandango goes to find some weapons post match but Rob gets the upper hand and lays Fandango out with a slingshot DDT. He finds a trashcan and Fandango gets a Van Terminator to pop the crowd.

Ryback vs. R-Truth

Jobber entrance for the monster. Ryback powers him into the corner to start but Truth comes back with some right hands to send Ryback to the floor. Heyman calls Truth a bully and Ryback will have none of that. Back in and Truth escapes a gorilla press before kicking Ryback down for two. The ax kick misses and the Meat Hook and Shell Shock complete the squash of Truth at 2:24. Your #1 contender to the Intercontinental Title everyone.

Post match Axel lays out Truth again to really make sure no one buys him as a contender.

Alberto Del Rio isn’t worried about Dolph Ziggler tonight when a stagehand comes up with the trashcan RVD used earlier tonight. The champion isn’t pleased.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler

Non-title of course and Sandow is on commentary to hype up his Battleground pre-show match with Ziggler. Before the match we get the top ten Van Dam moments video from Raw. Sandow refers to Ziggler as a former Mr. MITB instead of a former world champion. That tells you almost everything you need to know about Dolph at the moment. Feeling out process to start with Ziggler getting a quick rollup for two, sending the champion to the floor.

Back in and Del Rio stomps Ziggler down, only to be dropkicked out to the floor as we take a break. We come back with Alberto holding a chinlock until Ziggler fights back up. Dolph misses a charge into the post and Del Rio has a shoulder to work on. A belly to back suplex gets two on Dolph and we hit the chinlock again. Ziggler fights up and comes back with another dropkick to knock Alberto off the apron, only to have him snap Ziggler’s throat across the ropes. Dolph comes right back again though with a top rope X Factor to put both guys down.

JBL tries to talk Sandow into cashing in as Dolph pounds away right hands in the corner. A running clothesline puts Del Rio down but he still avoids the Fameasser and gets two off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Alberto goes up but dives into a dropkick for a close two count. The champ gets back up and hits a LOUD running enziguri in the corner for two of his own. Del Rio loads up a superplex but gets countered into a sunset bomb for another close two.

There’s the sleeper from Ziggy but Del Rio rams him face first into the buckle for the break. A middle rope double stomp to the back has Dolph down again but the low superkick is countered into a rollup for two. The second attempt at the kick connects for two for the champion but Ziggler rolls through the armbreaker into the Fameasser for a VERY hot two. Not that it matters as the armbreaker goes on for the submission from Dolph at 10:30 shown of 12:50.

Rating: B-. This got a lot better at the end but ziggler having almost no chance at all didn’t help things. That’s the problem with how WWE takes guys down the card: there’s almost no way to believe they could win a big match when they’re on a losing streak. Del Rio as usual is much better in the ring than he is as a character but that’s been the case for years. I could have gone for more arm work than just at the beginning and ending of the match though.

Los Matadores vignette.

3MB vs. Los Matadores

Slater/Mahal again who ranted about Toroito costing them the match. There’s no McIntyre in sight for the second straight show. The bullfighters do their flips and bull stuff before the bell. Diego cranks on Slater’s arm to start and shouts OLE a lot. Mahal comes in and gets his leg swept out from under him before being double backdropped.

Back up and Los Matadores hit a combination backbreaker/slingshot splash for no cover. Slater comes back in and takes over with a kick to the face and a quickly broken chinlock. Fernando comes back with Ultimo Dragon’s corner headstand before it’s back to Diego vs. Mahal. Diego hits a reverse Cross Rhodes followed by the double Angle Slam for the pin at 3:20.

Rating: D. Remember the match on Monday? This was the same thing but with less flipping and less excitement. Los Matadores don’t seem to have a long shelf life to them but at least it gives us another tag team for a few months. Nothing to see here though as the bull continues to steal most of the attention.

Post match Torito dives on 3MB.

Heyman and his Guys are ready for their matches on Sunday. Truth’s dream of being Intercontinental Champion is false but at least he’s not CM Punk. On Sunday, CM Punk will fight to the death but it just won’t be enough. After the beating, Punk will be looking up at his lord, master and owner: Paul Heyman, the best in the world.

Brie Bella vs. Aksana

Please for the love of all things good and holy keep this short. Brie moves away from Aksana to start before dropkicking her out to the floor. Back in and Aksana sends her throat first into the middle rope and stomps away for two. We hit the chinlock on Brie before Aksana crawls around on all fours. Brie comes right back with a middle rope Bella Buster for the pin (ignore Aksana’s foot on the ropes) at 2:10.

Post match here are AJ with the psycho eyes and Tamina for whatever reason. AJ says after she keeps the title on Sunday, Brie and Bryan can go have a goat faced kid. After the doctor sees the abomination, he’ll spank Brie instead of the baby. I’m still wondering why I’m supposed to cheer for the Bellas other than who they sleep with.

Kofi Kingston vs. Big E. Langston

Before the match we get a clip from Smackdown of Bray Wyatt laughing at Kingston but not attacking him. Langston runs Kofi over to start and gets two off a running splash. Kofi goes up for a cross body but gets caught in midair, only to slip down Langston into the rollup for the pin at 52 seconds. Was there no one else that could do the job here? No one at all?

Post match here’s Bray on the stage with the Family behind Kofi. Bray talks about calling a hero another facade of a failed generation. This Sunday, the first will fall so follow the buzzards. Kofi still isn’t touched.

Post break Bray vs. Kofi is announced for Sunday.

We look back at the Rhodes Family segment from Raw. Word on the street is that Stephanie is ticked off for Dusty going slightly off script and putting his hand on her face. Heaven forbid everything isn’t EXACTLY planned out for her for once in her life.

Shield/Randy Orton vs. Big Show

It’s Ambrose in first with Show pounding away in the corner and headbutting Ambrose down. Off to Rollins who tries a kick to the ribs before being thrown into the corner for a beating of his own. It’s Reigns’ turn now but he goes down when trying a shoulder block. Randy gets the tag and tries to keep Big Show away from him in a smart strategy. Show gets him in the corner anyway for the not so loud chop, sending Randy running off to Rollins.

Seth actually knocks Show down with a top rope knee to the jaw and a kick to the face gets two. Randy is out on the floor until Reigns softens Big Show up a bit more. Orton comes in for some stomping and the knee drop for two. A quick DDT gets two more for Orton and it’s back to Roman. Show clotheslines Reigns down a few times before hitting his own spear for no cover. All of the heels come in at once but Big Show fights them off until Ambrose brings in a chair, only to have it punched into his face for the DQ at 5:40.

Rating: D+. That’s the only way you can end this if you want to save any face for Big Show. Obviously you can’t have the giant go over and you don’t want the heels to look weak (Heaven forbid of course) so the DQ after Show holds his own is the best option. Much like everything else on the show tonight though, this didn’t mean much.

Orton hits Show in the back with the chair but there’s no effect. Instead Reigns spears Big Show down as the fans chant for Bryan. There’s an RKO for Big Show and Orton wraps the chair around Big Show’s neck. Cue the Usos to take care of the Shield and FINALLY Daniel Bryan shows up to fight Orton. Bryan fires off kicks and hooks the YES Lock but Ambrose gets back in for the save. Dean takes the running knee and a staredown ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t a bad show but what did it change about Sunday? The only thing added here was Wyatt vs. Kingston which could have been done just as easily on Raw or at the PPV itself. The wrestling was just ok and HHH is now Big Show’s landlord to make sure Big Show doesn’t get to grow a spine to fight back against the tyranny. Also what happened to the locker room rebellion? None of those guys have done anything against HHH and company for over a week and there’s no sign that they will in the future. As usual, this story just keeps going with no real direction to be seen.

Results

Rob Van Dam b. Fandango via DQ when Summer Rae interfered

Ryback b. R-Truth – Shell Shock

Alberto Del Rio b. Dolph Ziggler – Cross armbreaker

Los Matadores b. 3MB – Double Angle Slam to Mahal

Brie Bella b. Aksana – Middle rope Bella Buster

Kofi Kingston b. Big E. Langston – Rollup

Shield/Randy Orton b. Big Show via DQ when Big Show hit a chair into Ambrose’s face

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On This Day: October 3, 2005 – Raw Homecoming: Tell The World We’re Coming Home

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 3, 2005
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 14,387
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

Another request and another three hour show. This is the return of Raw to the USA Network which warranted the debut of apparently the first ever three hour Raw spectacular. As for the card, it’s a two match show but they’re two big matches: Edge vs. Matt Hardy in a ladder match and Shawn vs. Kurt in an iron man match. This should be good so let’s get to it.

The copy has comes with the final five minutes of a special aired before this called Raw Comes Home. Yes, there were four hours of the WWE on this Monday. This part is just a highlight reel and Shawn talks about being at the first Raw. They talk about the Manhattan Center. Sean Mooney makes a cameo. They all knew Raw was special. Shawn is proud of being here the whole time. Vince says the Attitude Era is who they really are. And here’s forty seconds to say that the modern stuff is ok too.

Theme song opens us up.

Here’s Foley to get things going. The ring is set up for Piper’s Pit. Foley says he’s come back home. He introduces the host because the host is no ordinary man. Here’s Piper whose gut is rapidly growing. Piper says he thought he was crazy but he has nothing on Foley. Foley jumps off roofs for fun. But them Piper read Foley’s new book Scooter and he hasn’t slept with the light off in four days.

This is Piper’s Pit though and the fans want to know when Foley is coming back to the WWE. Isn’t he here already? Foley says he came back last year and got beaten up so to come back again he needs a good reason. Piper says the people are a good reason. Cue the Ortons and Foley cuts Randy off and says he should be worried about the legend that’s going to take Orton out this Sunday at No Mercy (Undertaker).

Orton says he isn’t here to talk to Foley, but rather Piper. Piper greets him warmly but Orton cuts him off, saying without Papa Orton, there would be no Piper. Orton goes off on him, saying his dad did all the work and Piper got all the glory. Orton shoves him so Piper takes him down. Foley and Bob pull them apart but Bob sucker punches Roddy and RKOs leave the legends laying.

We recap Shawn vs. Angle. Angle won at Mania, Shawn won at Vengeance, tonight is the rubber match.

Teddy and Eric meet in the back and Eric yells about Orton, a Smackdown guy, coming in tonight. Teddy doesn’t know anything about it but Eric wants to know who else is coming from Smackdown.

Shawn Michaels vs. Kurt Angle

This is thirty minute iron man match. A TON of legends are in the front row. Shawn charges in and runs into a suplex/powerslam from Kurt. Shawn chops him in the corner to take over. Swinging neckbreaker takes Kurt down for two and they head to the floor. Angle hammers him in the corner so Shawn hooks a sleeper. A suplex gets him out of it and Kurt pounds him down for a bunch of two counts.

There’s a chinlock but they have a ton of time to work with here. Shawn breaks it with a jawbreaker at five minutes in. Shawn launches him to the floor and Angle flips forward to land on his face. Freaking OW man. Baseball slide misses and Angle hits the Slam on the floor. Angle stomps away at Shawn in the corner but Michaels comes back briefly. Kurt kills him with a buckle bomb for two.

A superplex is countered but Shawn takes too long up there so Kurt runs the corner and hits a top rope Angle Slam for the first fall after 8:10. Back with about 18 minutes to go and Kurt hooks a chinlock. Shawn tries a comeback but charges into the post. German suplex gets two. Angle whips him in hard but another Slam attempt is countered into a sunset flip which is countered into the ankle lock. Shawn counters into a rollup for the tie at just before 15 minutes to go. Or is it 15 minutes in?

Out to the floor and Shawn gets his head rammed into the steps. Back in and it’s a body scissors by Kurt. Shawn bites the head to get out of it and they slug it out. With twelve minutes left Shawn gets a rollup for two which is rolled into an ankle lock. Kurt hooks the grapevine and Shawn has to tap with about 11:15 to go, putting him up 2-1 and we take a break.

Back with Kurt working on the leg at seven and a half minutes left. Shawn hammers away but Kurt takes out the leg again. He slaps Kurt for some reason and hits the forearm (Flying Burrito says JR). Here’s Shawn’s offensive sequence and the elbow hits. Sweet Chin Music ties it up with 4:45 to go.

Four and a half minutes left. Kurt rolls to the floor and the replay shows that the kick looked awesome. Four minutes left. Shawn gets flipped over in the corner and the Angle Slam gets two. With three minutes left, Shawn counters a Slam into a DDT. Both guys are down but Shawn covers for two at two and a half minutes left. Two minutes to go.

Angle rolls through a moonsault press into an ankle lock in a cool counter. 90 seconds left. Shawn tries to kick him off but Kurt grapevines it again and we have a minute left. Shawn rolls over which might help a bit. Thirty to go and a kick to the face breaks the hold. I’ve NEVER seen the grapevine broken. Shawn kicks his head off but it’s too late for the pin as the bell rings.

Rating: B-. Pretty fun match here as they kept things moving. These two had fantastic chemistry together and this worked perfectly. The ending is kind of weak and Shawn holding on that long is a BIG stretch, but when 28 minutes are fine, there’s not much more you can ask for. Good stuff and all iron man matches should be 30 minutes.

Shawn wants overtime but Kurt walks.

We run down the card for the rest of the show. Lita looks great in the graphic.

Cena was at some hip hop awards show last week.

Kevin Von Erich is in the front row. Think he’s cheered in Dallas?

Eric comes up to see Vince in the back and tries to get out of the match with Cena tonight. He wants it to be No DQ. Vince says no. Eric goes into Easy E mode and calls him Vince. He goes off, saying this is just to drive Eric crazy so we can have a Self Destruction of Eric Bischoff DVD. He calls Vince sick and Vince says you have no idea.

Lillian reads a prepared statement about Vince and his accomplishments (“He is strong, he is handsome, he is…..well endowed?”). Here’s Vince who says this is like the old days. He remembers February 8, 1998. That was the night he beat up Steve Austin. We get a clip (the date stamp says 99, which is correct) of Austin getting pinned by Vince which is his favorite moment.

Vince talks about another favorite moment and here’s Austin. He says Vince looks nervous and isn’t sure why. Vince made Austin right? Austin remembers things differently so here are some of his clips. First up: Austin as a doctor attacking Vince in the hospital and anally violating him with an IV. The next clip is of Bang 3:16. Finally it’s the beer truck which somehow was named the #1 moment in Raw history.

Vince wants to start all over again with Austin. He only showed one of the 12 clips he had. Austin doesn’t quite buy it and Vince tries to run. Austin flips him off and Stuns him because that’s how things should be with these two. Before Austin leaves here’s the dancing son. And there’s a Stunner for Shane before he can do anything. Austin has another beer and it’s Stephanie to the rescue.

Stephanie yells about some stuff and wants to know who Austin thinks he is. He says Steph is lovely and asks what fragrance she’s wearing. Stephanie accidentally grabs his hand and Austin says he gets it: she’s flirting with him. Maybe she’s like to give old Stone Cold a kiss? She slaps him instead so there’s a Stunner for Stephanie. Now here’s Linda of all people. I don’t see this ending well.

Linda goes off on Austin for what happened. Why did he Stun Vince? “Your husband is a piece of trash.” Shane? “He’s a chip off the old block of trash.” Stephanie? “She’s a beautiful young piece of trash.” Linda wants an apology for the family but Austin say why? It was just three Stunners. Austin apologizes and Linda goes to leave. Austin stops her and asks for a kiss on the cheek. He almost implies sex but he’s talking about having a beer.

Linda drinks…and Austin’s arm goes up against her head and she falls down as Austin does. There wasn’t any contract on the fall so it looked awful, but she’s not a wrestler. You know, Vince has been unconscious for 12 minutes now. Shouldn’t he get a doctor to look at him or something?

After a break, Vince says someone will pay for what Austin did and someone is getting fired. It would somehow wind up being JR, who had to leave for legit medical issues.

Edge vs. Matt Hardy

Winner gets the MITB case, the loser leaves Raw. Lita is looking extra great tonight. Edge jumps Matt as he comes through the entrance and sprints up the ladder. It doesn’t work but it was a nice try. Matt turns the ladder upside down and puts Edge in it. He tries to close it which can’t feel good. Edge finally escapes and sends Matt into the ladder.

Edge suplexes him onto the ladder and goes climbing. Matt makes the save but his climb fails also. Edge puts a ladder on the top rope and Matt is sent face first into it. Here’s ladder #2 but Edge takes too long setting it up. Edge gets rammed into it but Matt gets suplexed onto it. There’s the climb but Matt saves and throws Edge into the ladder on the corner. Edge stumbles backwards to knock Matt’s ladder down as we go to a break.

Back with Edge’s suplex attempt through a table being broken up. Matt rams Edge with another ladder to put him in the crowd. Hardy dives into the crowd and the fans are loving this. Matt goes to powerbomb Lita through the table but Edge saves via a kendo stick show. Edge splashes Matt through the table and this is solid stuff again. Edge slowly climbs but Matt gets back in and hits a Twist of Fate off the ladder.

Lita kendo sticks Matt’s leg to break up his attempt so Matt rams her into the buckle. Matt goes up again but Lita pulls the ladder away so he’s just hanging there. Edge drops him onto the ropes and ties him into them. Lita holds his arms there as well in a crucifix position. Edge easily wins.

Rating: B. I’ve always liked this match. These two had a real life issue which made the matches that much more intense. Matt would go to Smackdown and wouldn’t really do anything for awhile while Edge would win his first world title in about three months by cashing in MITB. Can we just look at Lita in those shorts for a little longer?

Matt leaves with security.

Ashley and Trish get ready for later. They talk trash about their bra and panties handicap match later. Mae Young pops up to offer her services. She then flashes some legends and DiBiase offers to pay her to put her shirt back on. Moolah makes the save. Snuka wants to give her the money for something else. Oh dear.

Maria gets hit on by Flair. Flair, the IC Champion, says this is about the return of HHH.

Carlito/Chris Masters vs. Ric Flair/HHH

This is HHH’s return from the beatings Batista gave him. The former Evolution team is good here and HHH looks a little chubby. It’s a brawl to start with HHH and Flair clearing the ring. Flair and Carlito start us off and it’s chops all around from the partners. We take a break and come back with Carlito stomping Ric. Carlito spits the apple in Flair’s face and puts on the figure four.

Trips comes in to break it up but Carlito keeps up on the knee. He slaps Flair in the face but walks into a HARD chop. Carlito goes up and Flair slams him off for a nice change of pace. Flair Flops and Masters breaks up the tag. Masterlock doesn’t quite go on so Flair hits him low. Double tag brings in Carlito to face HHH and house is cleaned with a high knee for both guys. Now a spinebuster for both guys. HHH goes under the ring and pulls out the hammer. Carlito saves Masters from a shot with it but takes a Pedigree. Flair takes out Masters and it’s over.

Rating: C. Just a tag match here so that Flair and HHH could look dominant. Carlito was never really a guy that never got over and I’m not completely sure what the exact reason was. I don’t know if it was his look of his attitude but it never really clicked. Masters was stuck with a bad gimmick and they would never give him anything different so it’s no wonder he never went anywhere.

Post match HHH and Flair celebrate but HHH turns on him by busting him open with the sledgehammer. He hits Flair again with the hammer and we have a lot of blood. HHH sends him to the floor and beats on him in front of the legends in a nice touch.

During the break HHH kept beating on Flair in the back. It’s still going as we’re live. HHH shouts at him about how Flair is better than anybody and HHH isn’t going to let it keep happening. He yells at all the security to try and do something about it. Now they go to a limo and HHH slaps him. He throws Flair in the limo and then breaks the window with the hammer as it drives away. This would wind up being because HHH thought Flair was a joke and a parody of himself so he did this for his own good. This would result in a very violent old school cage match.

The Legends are all in the ring now. There must be 25 guys in there. I’m not sure Dean Malenko qualifies as a legend but I’ll take what I can get. Dusty talks about how all of them used to have some great times. He wants to talk about Harley Race but here’s Rob Conway who was going after legends around this time, although at a much weaker level than Orton.

Conway asks if this is Homecoming or a nursing home. He says this looks like a funeral and they need to go back to their old folks’ home to make room for the next generation. Dusty goes off on him and says that the Legends built the table Conway eats off of. Conway calls Race fat and that’s enough for the legends. Everyone beats on him and David Von Erich puts him down with the Claw. That of course blows the roof off the place. Snuka even hits the Superfly Splash!

Candace Michelle/Victoria/Torrie Wilson vs. Trish Stratus/Ashley Massaro

The three chicks are eventually going to be known as Vince’s Devils and they come out to what would become Laycool’s music. This is bra and panties rules and Trish is Women’s Champion. The three of them combine to rip Ashley’s top off quickly. Ashley rips Victoria’s top off and it’s time for a chase scene. Trish kicks Victoria’s head off and we head in. Jerry: “Where are the puppies???” JR: “In the same place they always are King.” Everyone but Trish loses their shirt and she strips Victoria. Candace almost loses her underwear and Torrie is stripped to end it. I’m not rating it because I think you get the idea here.

Angle comes up to Eric in the back and asks if Eric is worried about the Smackdown guys. Eric isn’t worried and also says that since Vince left, he’s in charge. Cena vs. Bischoff is now No DQ. It would be an honor to have Kurt be at ringside with him. It’s for the title and Bischoff implies if Angle helps him win the title, Eric will forfeit the title and name Kurt the new champion.

Eddie Guerrero/Christian/John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Benoit/Batista/Rey Mysterio

Benoit is US Champion, Batista is World Champion, Teddy Long is in the ring too, Eddie would be dead in about 5 weeks, JBL dances to the ring, and these are all matches on Sunday (Eddie vs. Batista, JBL vs. Mysterio and Benoit was defending the title against Christian, Booker and Orlando Jordan). And there’s no match. The bell rings but Eric comes out and says hold everything. This is Raw, not Smackdown, so cut the lights. Eric cracks up at this and says go to a commercial. This set up Raw vs. Smackdown at Survivor Series.

After a break, here’s Mean Gene to introduce Hulk Hogan. Gene talks about the reality show and all that and asks what’s next. Hulk asks if you can feel the power of Hulkamania here in Dallas. He says he’d love to face Shawn again at any time but I don’t think that ever happened. As for his next challenger, he saw someone out here tonight and the people reacted to him like no one else. The fans chant for Austin and that’s who Hogan means. He wants to know what these people would do if he climbed in the ring with that Rattlesnake Stone Cold Steve Austin. That match would have drawn tens of millions but it never happened.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Eric Bischoff

Angle is here with Bischoff. This was at a period where Batista was the biggest star in the company but Cena was on the rise. At this point, Cena was still pretty much a guy just barely not in over his head. He would grow up a lot over the next six to eight months and become the John Cena that we all know today.

Eric’s kick is countered and remember that it’s No DQ. Cena never takes his eyes off Angle. Angle tries to interfere and Eric gets in some kicks. There’s the Shuffle but Kurt comes in. The Slam is countered but the FU is broken up by a low blow. Angle misses a chair shot and hits himself by mistake. FU ends this clean. This was like two minutes long.

Angle and Cena go at it post match but here’s Teddy to say chill. Teddy says Eric embarrassed Smackdown so here comes the Smackdown guys to beat down Angle and Cena. Raw guys run in and the show ends with Big Show getting in. There’s Survivor Series.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a very different kind of show. It’s like all of the good stuff was at the beginning and then after that everything slows way down and feels a lot less important. The Raw vs. Smackdown stuff was cool but it was a lead for another show. Cena and Eric’s fight was never given a reason and was pretty boring. This show needed much better pacing but the stuff we got at the beginning was quite good.

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NXT – October 2, 2013: Let’s Go This Guy!

NXT
Date: October 2, 2013
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Alex Riley, Tony Dawson, Renee Young

It’s a big show tonight with both the Bo Dallas open challenge and the Ascension challenging Graves and Neville for the tag titles. The main question in the open challenge isn’t will Sami Zayn get involved but how will he get involved. The big showdown is coming and the blowoff match is going to be awesome. Let’s get to it.

Fandango is here tonight for a mixed tag with Summer Rae against Emma and whomever she can find for a partner.

Welcome Home.

Fandango/Summer Rae vs. Emma/???

The partner is…..Santino, meaning he now gets to waste our time on NXT too. The guys start with Santino almost falling off the buckles while posing. The fans insist that he try it again but they have to settle for the middle rope. Wait we’re still not ready as the guys have to dance a bit. The fans tell Fandango that he got served so he tries a kick to the ribs. Both guys catch kicks at the same time until Santino shoves him away. A right hand drops Marella as we’re finally going a bit.

Santino teases the Cobra, sending Fandango to the floor. Renee teaches the Cobra to dance and we take a break. Back with Fandango not being sure what to do so here are the girls for a change of pace. Summer wants nothing to do with Emma so it’s back to the guys again. Phillips: “Doing the do-see-do instead of the Fandango.” They change over and over until Fandango gets annoyed and punches Santino in the jaw. Apparently Fandango has been hitting on Renee but she doesn’t seem to mind that much.

An uppercut sends Santino into the corner and Summer gets in a hard slap, drawing Emma out to the floor. Santino makes a dive to the empty corner for the tag in a cute spot. Santino can’t nip up so Fandango goes up for the legdrop but Santino rolls across the ring before Fandango jumps. This is so funny that they do it three times in a row until Marella rolls him up for two.

Now the nip-up works and it’s off to the girls for their first contact. Summer misses a charge and gets caught in the Dilemma followed by the cross body in the corner for two. Santino gives Emma the sock but it’s time for a catfight instead. Summer is whipped into Fandango which catapults him in and also counts as a tag. Everything breaks down and our heroes do stereo Santino spots until Santino hits the Cobra for the pin on Fandango at 10:15 shown of 13:45.

Rating: C. The comedy in this match was stupid, but at the same time, what else was this match supposed to be? Emma is so adorable that it’s almost impossible to dislike her and Santino is what he is. The interesting part here was Renee who came off as funny, witty and charming on commentary without trying too hard. That’s a nice surprise.

Ascension says what they did to Cassady and Amore is nothing compared to what they’ll do to win the tag titles.

Kassius Ohno vs. Luke Harper

Renee is off commentary. Ohno is looking in a bit better shape. Harper comes out on his own and looks more confused than usual. Ohno is quickly sent out to the floor but comes back with a one foot dropkick to stagger Harper. Not that it matters as a clothesline puts Ohno down and Harper rains down punches. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Kassius fights up and connects with some strikes. Harper rolls to the floor but even a baseball slide can’t knock him down. Back in and it’s the big boot and a discus lariat to end Ohno at 2:57. This was a squash.

Amore and Cassady want another shot at Rusev and Dawson. Cassady says he wouldn’t even let Dawson fix his car. The only thing Rusev is breaking is his mother’s heart by not wearing shoes. Enzo says Dawson and Rusev have been eating tacos. SAWFT tacos! Cassady: “I worry about you sometimes.”

Mojo Rawley is going to hype us next week. I’ve heard a lot about him but I’ve never actually seen him.

Tag Titles: Ascension vs. Corey Graves/Adrian Neville

Ascension is challenging. Neville and Victor get us going with the champion flipping around and kicking Victor down for two. Victor gets kicked in the head but shrugs it off to bring in O’Brien. Neville escapes a suplex and makes the tag off to Graves who still has injured ribs, which are made worse by a flapjack from O’Brien for two. Victor comes back in and goes right after the ribs before giving it back to Conor.

Back from a break with Graves hitting a cross body on Victor but injuring his ribs in the process. O’Brien hooks a body scissors to keep Graves in trouble before it’s back to Victor for more right hands to the head. We hit another chinlock until Graves fights up and avoids a charge in the corner, sending Rick’s shoulder into the post.

Off to Neville for the rapid fire kicks and a pair of dropkicks to lay out Ascension. Both guys are knocked to the floor for a BIG dive to take out both challengers. Victor is sent back in and caught with a springboard missile dropkick for two. A high kick to the head looks to set up Red Arrow but Rick moves at the last second, giving Victor two. Graves pulls Neville to the corner for the tag but walks into a running knee to the head. Fall of Man (Total Elimination) is enough for the pin and the titles for O’Brien at 10:40 shown of 13:00.

Rating: C. This is exactly what this match should have been. Graves and Neville never felt like anything but transitional champions while Ascension has looked like the future of the tag division from the day the show debuted. This is the kind of match it needed to be: the champions fighting for all they were worth but just being out matched at the end of the day.

RVD is here next week.

Bo Dallas Invitational

The idea is that anyone can come out to challenge Dallas and if anyone can pin him, they get a title shot in two weeks. The first guy up is named Chance Champion which I found online. He doesn’t get an entrance, so the fans chant “Let’s go this guy!” because they’re actually paying attention to the show instead of saying random things to entertain themselves. Champion (the person, not the champion) gets a quick rollup for two but Bo pounds him in the corner and spears him down for the pin at 1:12.

Next up is Leo Kruger and Bo seems ready. Actually wait as here’s Antonio Cesaro instead to take the shot. The fans want a triple threat but the challengers fight instead until Kruger is sent to the floor. Cesaro brags too much though and gets dumped by Dallas, which I guess is an elimination?

Next in is El Local who avoids a quick and hits a running boot to the face in the corner for the pin in 30 seconds. The fans chant OLE and SI before it’s revealed to be Sami Zayn. Somewhere Dean Malenko is smiling.

Overall Rating: A. We had a genuinely entertaining comedy match, good looking women dancing, a squash, new champions and the revisiting of a classic angle to give the fans what they want. Also there was the LET’S GO THIS GUY chant which was actually clever. This show just works for a variety of reasons, but there’s one I haven’t touched on yet: the lack of pay per views.

In WWE you have four weeks at most for the majority of pay per views so you have to speed things up in order to have a new card in that short amount of time. Here the stories can grow and build as they’re supposed to and the shows are far easier to sit through as a result. If you’re sick of Raw and love wrestling like it used to be, check this show out.

Results

Santino Marella/Emma b. Fandango/Summer Rae – Cobra to Fandango

Luke Harper b. Kassius Ohno – Discus lariat

Ascension b. Adrian Neville/Corey Graves – Fall of Man to Graves

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Thought of the Day: Who Is The Star Of Raw?

Look back at the last few weeks and this isn’t very clear.

Who is the focal point of Raw? It’s not Bryan, who was only on TV for about five minutes on Monday and got laid out to end the show.

It might be Orton, who is becoming his old self again.

HHH/Stephanie? Yeah probably, but they’re not really even involved in the main feud.

Punk? Well he and Heyman are getting as much TV time as anyone so we could go with one of them.

In short, it’s really not clear who or what Raw is focused around right now and it’s making for some weaker shows.

Raw Rating

Not something I usually talk about but this week is a bit different.Raw drew a 2.68 last night, which is down again. Ratings have been trending down with Bryan on top which isn’t a good sign. Yeah there’s a lot of other stuff at the moment, but Bryan doesn’t seem to be helping anything.

Monday Night Raw – September 30, 2013: Paul Heyman’s Indecent Proposal

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 30, 2013
Location: Mississippi Coast Coliseum, Biloxi, Mississippi
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the final show before Battleground a mere fifteen days after Night of Champions. If that’s too fast for you, don’t worry because you’ll get another PPV just three weeks after this Sunday. Tonight will probably just firm up stuff for the show on Sunday, but there’s a chance we’ll get new developments in the potential locker room revolt. Let’s get to it.

It’s breast cancer awareness month again, meaning the middle rope is pink and there’s a graphic on the ramp.

Here’s Punk to open things up and we get a clip from Heyman’s scheme last week, leading to Ryback’s beatdown. Punk talks about how things are often unpredictable around here but once in awhile you can guess what’s happening. Take last week for instance: Punk was in his hometown so of course Heyman was going to come after him. Everyone knew Punk would get jumped if he went after Heyman and that’s exactly what happened.

That doesn’t matter though as the story ends with Punk making Axel go to sleep, showing Ryback what happens to bullies, and when Punk gets his hands on Paul Heyman. The story could end at anytime. It could be at Battleground, or it could be right here tonight. Punk isn’t leaving the ring until he gets a fight with one of Heyman’s guys and he gets rid of Heyman for good.

Cue Brad Maddox (Punk: “You don’t even get an entrance song?”) who says this ultimate showdown isn’t best for business. Punk already has his match with Ryback on Sunday so there’s no need to give him another one now. Maddox is willing to give Punk a match here tonight though…..and here’s Big E. Langston for the first time in weeks. Big E. says he’s Punk’s man if Punk wants aggression and the beating is on. Punk is tossed into the corner but he misses a charge into the post and here’s a referee. The bell is after the break.

CM Punk vs. Big E. Langston

Joined in progress with Punk firing off kicks on the floor before sending Langston back inside for a high cross body for one. Big E. escapes the GTS and slams Punk out of the corner for two. A splash to Punk’s back gets the same and it’s off to a half crab from Big E. CM fights up but gets run over by Langston for two more. A nice looking belly to belly suplex puts Punk down again and Langston is getting a little frustrated.

Punk comes back with a high kick for two but gets taken down by a clothesline for the same. A second splash misses though and it’s Punk coming back with his kicks. Langston is taken down with a neckbreaker and there’s the running knee in the corner. There’s the Macho Elbow and the GTS is good for the clean pin at 5:52 shown.

Rating: C. This was decent but just kind of there for the most part. I’m not sure I get the point of bringing Langston back just for a job to Punk, but at least he was in there with a big star instead of having the same match with Ziggler over and over. Langston was kind of lost in the shuffle for the last month and a half so it’s good to at least see him on TV again.

We recap Cody Rhodes being fired.

Kofi Kingston vs. Fandango

Fandango is in a pink shirt, allowing Cole to list off everything he can about the Susan G. Komen Foundation. We also get part of a compilation of 30 Troubles in Paradise from Youtube, because we need to see a Youtube player on screen instead of just showing the video right? Fandango takes Kofi down with a quick suplex and puts on a chinlock as the fans chant overrated. Kofi spins out of a hiptoss and DDTs Fandango down for a breather. Kingston comes back with some double chops but gets sent into the buckle. Fandango goes up but Kofi moves before the legdrop. Trouble in Paradise is good for the pin at 3:02.

Rating: D. Well that happened. The match was only three minutes long and the only move that was interesting at all was the finisher. Fandango has a fun character but he has almost nothing of note in the ring. The long pants still aren’t working for Kofi and if rumors are to be believed, they’re why he isn’t being pushed as hard anymore. Seriously.

Post match here are the Wyatts with Bray sitting on the stage, asking why these things happen to him. He promises to knock everyone down one by one, so follow the buzzards. Creepy as ever.

Ziggler vs. Sandow is the Kickoff match for Sunday.

The Bellas are in the back when Randy Orton (fangirl pop) comes up to offer some sarcastic congratulations to Brie for her engagement to Daniel Bryan. Orton wants to know the date before it needs to be scheduled before Battleground because Daniel won’t be able to make it after then.

Paul Heyman chastises Renee Young for thinking Punk will be taking him out anytime soon. Heyman says Punk was a nobody who because a Paul Heyman guy before becoming WWE Champion but the forgot what made them the best in the world. Renee says that Axel and Ryback can be seen hiding off camera, meaning Heyman must be planning another trap. Heyman says he has a big plan for tonight’s Raw and if Punk wants to do something about it, go ahead and try.

Los Matadores vs. 3MB

It’s Mahal and Slater here. Los Matadores are named Fernando and Diego and their graphic says they have a miniature bull with them named El Torito. After an over the top intro sequence with a bunch of flips and waving of red capes, we start with Diego (Primo) throwing Mahal around and into the corner for a tag off to Slater.

Heath is thrown around and backdropped but he shoves I think Fernando into the corner for some double teaming. A knee drop has Fernando in trouble and we hit a quick chinlock. Fernando comes back with a headscissors and it’s back to Diego to clean house. Everything breaks down and something resembling a double Angle Slam takes out Slater at 3:58.

Rating: D. I’m not sure what to say here. I was laughing for most of the match, but it wasn’t what I would call funny. It’s definitely in the “so over the top it’s ok” category as they’re playing it completely for laughs, but at the end of the day it’s still Epico and Primo which doesn’t help them that much. They have potential as a comedy team but nothing more than that.

Here are HHH and Stephanie to address the Rhodes family face to face. Goldust comes out in a suit while still wearing the facepaint. Stephanie congratulates Cody on the wedding and hopes he got the Bed Bath and Beyond gift card. HHH wants to know why they’re staring at him because this is what, the fourth opportunity the family has gotten? Cody failed, Goldust failed and Dusty made it about himself. Is Dusty still upset about not being able to do anything outside of Florida or the NWA (I’d be shocked if more than 5% of the live crowd understood that)?

Stephanie says Dusty has a very important job by training new superstars down in Orlando, meaning the future is in Dusty’s hands. Tonight though, the family’s future is in Stephanie and HHH’s hands. They’d like to give Cody and Goldust a job if they can beat Rollins and Reigns this Sunday at Battleground. If they lose though, neither of them will ever work for WWE again, including Dusty.

Big Dust grabs the mic and says he’ll be in his boys’ corner. Stephanie says you’re on but Dusty sounds like he wants a fight. The bosses leave and here’s Shield for the brawl. Dusty tries to bring in a chair but gets beaten down as well. Cody takes the TripleBomb and the Shield stands tall.

Curtis Axel vs. R-Truth

Non-title. Axel pounds away to start but Truth comes back with kicks to the leg. He rains down right hands in the corner, only to be dropped face first onto the buckle to give the champion control again. A nice dropkick from Axel puts Truth down and we hit the chinlock. Truth fights up and hits the suplex into a Stunner for two but misses a dropkick. Before Axel can follow up, Punk’s music hits and the distraction lets Truth hit the Little Jimmy for the pin at 4:20. No Punk.

Rating: D+. Not horrible here but it was all about the false ending which is getting a bit old as a finish to a match. How many times have you seen someone come out for a distraction and the guy getting beaten up badly loses as a result? Truth isn’t horrible or anything but it was pretty obvious he was going to win because he was there as a pawn in the Punk vs. Heyman stuff.

Trish Stratus has had a son. Cool.

Video on Brie Bella and Daniel Bryan, which is an excuse to show clips from Total Divas.

Alicia Fox vs. Brie Bella

Feeling out process to start with Alicia taking over with some choking. The northern lights suplex gets two on Brie as AJ and Tamina are watching in the back. After a quick headscissors from Alicia, Brie comes back with some running kicks and the Bella Buster for the pin at 3:19.

Rating: D+. It’s a Divas match. You do the math here.

Axel is upset but Heyman tells him to calm down. Heyman says Punk is just messing with them but is out of their league. Ryback comes up and says there’s nothing to worry about because they should just give Punk what they want. Heyman tells Ryback to go get something to eat and he’ll come find him in a few minutes. Ryback leaves and Heyman says he sees the world differently since Ryback saved him. Heyman says, and this is a direct quote, that he’s going to go to the ring and propose to Ryback.

We look at Big Show knocking Miz out last week as per Stephanie’s orders.

Big Show, in a suit, says he’s doing ok. We look at a clip from Smackdown with HHH telling Big Show there aren’t many jobs for a guy like him and Big Show nearly knocking HHH out. Show talks about everyone telling him to do the right thing, but that’s easy to say when they’re not in his shoes. How can he pick between his job and his family?

He’s a good person but he has to do evil for the sake of his family. Show rants about having to knock out Dusty Rhodes and now he can’t even look him in the eye. There’s only so much he can take and he’s not going to take it anymore. He’s going to go knock HHH out. Show’s eyes are bugging out and it looks very disturbing.

R-Truth is asking for an Intercontinental Title shot when Big Show comes in and lifts Maddox against the wall, demanding to know where HHH is. Maddox is let down and goes off to find him.

Zack Ryder vs. Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio takes him into the corner before running Ryder over with a shoulder block. Ryder comes back with a clothesline to send Alberto to the floor but misses a plancha to give Del Rio control again. Del Rio pounds away on the floor before heading back inside for a reverse chinlock. There’s the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and it’s back to the chinlock again. Ryder comes back with all of his usual stuff but the Rough Ryder doesn’t connect and Del Rio grabs a German suplex for two. The armbreaker gets the submission at 4:07.

Rating: D+. Yet another match that is long enough to grade but the length brings it down because it feels like they’re just filling in time where they can. This didn’t do anything for Del Rio as he didn’t do anything hardcore before the match on Sunday and everyone beats Ryder anymore. Nothing to see here.

We recap the Rhodes family segment from earlier.

The breast cancer people are recognized.

Here are Ryback and Heyman for the proposal. Heyman says he was man enough to pin Punk at Night of Champions to prove he’s the best in the world, but he’s also an expert in political science. He owns CM Punk, so it was his obligation to squash the rebellion that Punk was starting last week in Chicago. That was getting rid of a dictator which si the right move politically. We get the same clip from earlier of Punk being beaten down by the Heyman guys in case the fans forgot it in the last hour and a half.

Heyman says he’s here because Ryback decided to stand up to the bully that is CM Punk. Ryback says he hates bullies like Punk who took everything Heyman did for him and throw it back in Paul’s face so he had to do something. Heyman talks about how progressive of a society we live in today and he wants more than just a client relationship with Ryback. He wants to make a commitment to Ryback from the opening match to the main event, in sickness and in health and until death do them part.

Paul wants to make an honest man out of Ryback so he takes him by the hand and drops to a knee. Paul’s proposal: will Ryback be the new Paul Heyman guy? Before there’s an answer we get more Punk music and here’s Punk through the crowd. He jumps the barricade….and hurts his knee, collapsing down to the floor in pain. This goes on for awhile until Punk limps to the apron but can’t get in. Heyman goes for it for some stupid reason, allowing Punk to pop up with a kendo stick and lay out Heyman, Ryback and the charging Axel with ease. Axel takes a GTS as Punk hops around to show how good his knee is.

Big Show is still waiting for HHH.

Dolph Ziggler/Usos vs. Shield

On the way to the ring we get another Youtube video to answer the burning question: which Uso is a better dancer? After that greatness, we start with Ziggler getting punched by Ambrose in the corner. Ziggler comes back with a dropkick but a rake to the eyes allows for the tag off to Rollins. The Usos come in with some double teaming and it’s Jimmy hooking an armbar on Seth.

Rollins takes him into the Shield corner and it’s back to Ambrose for some double teaming. Jimmy ducks a double clothesline and tries a double cross body, only to be caught in the air. Jey dropkicks Jimmy’s back to drop both guys down. Everything breaks down and the Usos hit stereo dives to Dean and Roman as we take a break. Back with Seth holding Jimmy in a chinlock. A suplex puts Rollins down but it’s ff to Ambrose before Jimmy can make a tag.

Off to a chinlock from the US Champion as the fans are wanting Ziggler. Roman comes in to complete the trio of chinlockery before something like Cena’s spinning side slam gets two. Jimmy superkicks out of it and FINALLY makes the tag off to Dolph to fire up the crowd. Ziggler loads up the ten straight elbowso n Dean but has to dropkick Rollins out of the air before finishing.

A Fameasser gets two on Ambrose as Reigns makes the Shield save. Jimmy shoves Roman to the floor but Dean breaks up the attempted dive. Off to Rollins as Dean is sent to the floor. Roman makes a blind tag as Dolph Zig Zags Rollins, only to be speared in half for the pin at 12:04.

Rating: B-. Yeah it’s the same formula the Shield has used for months, but there’s nothing wrong with that at all. That spear always looks great and Ziggler went flying as a result this time. Another good match here as everyone has come to expect from Shield. The Usos need to win the tag titles at some point though.

Big Show is still waiting on HHH and even throws some flowers to the floor. Instead he gets cops who don’t like that he’s threatening a WWE employee. Stephanie comes in to say Show is under a lot of pressure and doesn’t understand the consequences of his actions. Stephanie has talked to Show’s wife and implies he can’t perform to her standards as of late if you get Stephanie’s drift. Everyone but Show leaves so Big Show punches a HHH poster.

RVD shows us a Youtube video of his ten most extreme moments. In case you didn’t get it, WWE has a Youtube channel and you need to subscribe to it or your puppy will be lit on fire and your mother will be fed to mutant pigs. Del Rio has no idea what hardcore is about because anything goes. By anything of course they mean chairs to the back, trashcan lids, the steps and a table.

Big Show vs. Shield on Friday.

Santino Marella vs. Antonio Cesaro

Before the match we get the entire giant swing on Titus last week which is still amazing. Cesaro fires off a bunch of elbows to start and stomps on Santino’s chest. A chinlock is quickly broken but Cesaro can’t hook the swing. Santino comes back with his usual stuff before loading up the Cobra. Thankfully Cesaro punches him down and here’s the weekly swing with Santino dropping the stupid sock. The fans are counting the revolutions as they go and we hit an insane 32. Santino stands up but immaturity falls back down, only to roll up Cesaro for the pin at 2:51. Well of course he does.

We look at the marriage announcement between Brie and Bryan again.

Lawler is in the ring to moderate the face to face meeting between Bryan and Orton. Randy talks about how he’s the old Predator again and how dangerous that makes him. He’s genetically superior to the B+ Bryan and will prove it on Sunday. Bryan says that’s A+ all the way from Orton but asks why HHH picked him as the face of the WWE. It’s because he wants Orton to be on magazines and DVDs whereas Bryan would never want to be the best because of something like that.

Orton stops the YES chants before shifting over to Brie Bella. He doesn’t understand what must be wrong with Brie to make her want to be with Bryan, because one day she’ll realize she’s sleeping with a barnyard animal. That’s enough for Bryan and the beating is on. They head to the floor where Orton takes over and sends Bryan into the steps and post. The beating continues and Orton loads up the Elevated DDT on the floor, drawing out Brie to beg for mercy. Orton of course DDTs him on the floor and loads up the announce table. An RKO to Bryan through the table ends the show as Brie freaks out.

Overall Rating: C+. I liked the show a bit more than last week but the WWE Title has gone from the focus of the show to an afterthought. Everything but the world title matches got a great buildup tonight and Battleground looks a lot better as a result. Punk vs. Heyman continues to be probably the feud of the year, the Rhodes and Big Show stuff is well done, and the Shield had another good match. Then there are the world titles though and both matches just feel tacked on. Imagine that: HHH being the focus of two stories and the world titles suffering as a result.

Results

CM Punk b. Big E. Langston – GTS

Kofi Kingston b. Fandango – Trouble in Paradise

Los Matadores b. 3MB – Double falling slam to Slater

R-Truth b. Curtis Axel – Little Jimmy

Brie Bella b. Alicia Fox – Bella Buster

Alberto Del Rio b. Zack Ryder – Cross armbreaker

Shield b. Usos/Dolph Ziggler – Spear to Ziggler

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On This Day: September 28, 2010 – NXT: There Is No Wrestling On This Show

NXT
Date: September 28, 2010
Location: U.S. Cellular Coliseum, Bloomington, Indiana
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Michael Cole

Back in Bloomington this week as the show was taped. There’s a chance this is the final episode on Sci-Fi but that hasn’t been confirmed yet. On my digital preview there’s a sci-fi show on next week, but a week later, on the 12th, NXT is listed. It’s likely a misprint but interesting nonetheless. Let’s get to it.

We open by recapping musical chairs. It amuses me how they’ve just given up on this being a wrestling show at all and are just trying to make it as entertaining as possible. Talk the Talk is a bit better but it is kind of interesting to see WWE say how talking is very important and apparently more important than wrestling.

No Punk to start us out which makes me a sad reviewer.

Striker brings out the girls who mostly look good. Maxine still has the straight hair which looks really weird on her for some reason. Voting for the first elimination begins tomorrow on WWE.com which is where the results show will likely be seen. There’s a wheelbarrow in the aisle and they have to run around the ring with it, fastest time wins.

Maxine is first but before we start we need something in the wheelbarrow. And here’s Hornswoggle to make me roll my eyes. Cole asks what this has to do with being a Diva as Maxine sets the mark at 14.7 seconds. Horny bites her tights after she shoves him out of the wheelbarrow.

Naomi goes second and beats her time but they keep the clock running anyway for some reason as they have a tendency to do, putting her in second.

Jamie gets 14.4 to take the lead.

Kaitlyn is fourth and flies through this, getting 12 flat. Cole gets the line of the night as he yells at Josh: YOU’RE ANALYZING A WHEELBARROW RACE! He’s annoying but you can’t deny that he’s right.

AJ is the next to last girl and is rocking an I Love Nerds t-shirt. She’s nowhere close and Horny hugs her for a long time.

Aksana goes last and gets 13.9 to give Kaitlyn the win. What a great way to spend the first 13 minutes of a wrestling show.

This Week in WWE History is about Madison Square Garden and in particular the Raw where there was a triple interview with Dude Love, Cactus Jack and Mankind where Cactus returned and had a great falls count anywhere match with HHH. Oh and Austin gave Vince the first Stunner between the two. And now, back to the wheelbarrow racing show.

We profile AJ and how nerdy she is. We get a cool clip of her in line for tickets to Wrestlemania in MSG which I’m assuming was 20. That’s very cool that she is in a clip from footage like that as a kid for some reason.

Diss the Divas later tonight. Oh joy: more reading from scripts.

And now we recap Raw. I wonder how long they can go without actual wrestling on this show. Well that’s enough content so we need another commercial now.

Yep next week we’re on WWE.com. Not sure how that’ll effect the reviews but I’ll get it up somehow.

We profile Kaitlyn now who wants to be herself. And ANOTHER commercial. It’s 10:35 and there has not been a single piece of wrestling whatsoever. They’re coming back for 2 minutes of profiles etc and then a commercial.

Back from a break and we recap Smackdown with the Taker vs. Kane segment. When I say that, I mean they PLAY THE WHOLE THING. I don’t mean a highlight package, I don’t mean a synopsis, I mean Kane is talking about Undertaker and the druids are about to come out and Paul Bearer is about to return. If you’re curious as to what’s going on see my Smackdown review because I’m not talking about something I reviewed four days ago.

Time for Diss the Divas which is exactly what it sounds like. Aksana goes first and says she’s hot which she is. Her diss to the Divas is they don’t look as good as she does and she’s in better shape.

AJ goes second and is rather adorable. This is by far the highlight of the show which is hardly saying much. AJ says she belongs more here and she should be the winner because she’s not the typical Diva. This would come off better if Cole would SHUT UP. It’s one thing to get on the girls but it’s another thing to talk over them so we can’t even hear them.

Kaitlyn does an impression of Naomi by sticking her hips out. Naomi literally kicks it and that’s all for Kaitlyn.

Jamie says Aksana belongs in a circus and AJ is a ten year old but Jamie is awesome. Striker is more or less begging them to pick this up as it’s awful.

Naomi says this is about wrestling and entertainment and has them beat in those areas. Kaitlyn only won last week because Naomi messed up. Shame AJ won last week but whatever.

Maxine says the same thing she’s said every week as AJ and Kaitlyn conspire and play patty cake in the background.

AJ wins the competition over Naomi but just slightly, giving her the most victories and immunity.

And here’s Vickie to make sure we get her face time this week since this is the Vickie/Cole show. She bashes Kaitlyn who more or less turns face and wants Vickie in a match. Vickie accepts but gets a BIG OLD SLAP to Kaitlyn. That was Stephanie level slapping and somehow the highlight of the show. They “brawl” to end this joke of a show.

Overall Rating: F. This was an absolute joke. They can’t throw in a two minute match just to give us something? I don’t watch this show to see a segment I already watched. The show is moving to WWE.Com and I can’t imagine this show is going to make people want to watch it. I love the WWE but I never want to hear them complain about ratings again, not after this. Horrible show with no appealing value at all like this show usually has with its bad comedy. I feel sorry for the people that paid for tickets to it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

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