This came up again last night while watching an old Raw.JR said Bret had won several major titles in the WWF, including the WWF, Tag Team and Intercontinental Title.

This brings up a question I’ve asked for years: what are some of the minor titles in wrestling?  I’ve heard of major ones, but never any examples of minor ones.

Smackdown
Date: November 6, 2012
Location: LG Arena, Birmingham, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

This is one of those cockamamie live Smackdowns that almost no one watches because there’s no reason to care about Smackdown. The main event for tonight is Del Rio vs. Orton, because we need it hammered into our heads that we wasted our time watching the three Barrett vs. Orton matches. Other than that there’s nothing announced for this week. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap from last night with the Survivor Series elimination match being shifted around.

Here’s Sheamus in the ring to open things up. Apparently there was an incident in a pub last night and we’ve got footage of it. It shows Regal, Sheamus and Big Show in a pub and a brawl breaks out. Show destroys Sheamus using various furniture. Back in the arena, Sheamus tells Cole to get out of the ring. He doesn’t respect Show because of Regal getting attacked in the pub, so Sheamus wants to fight right now. Not for the title, but just to fight.

Instead Show pops up on screen and calls Sheamus an ungrateful ginger. Show held back in the pub but at Survivor Series Show is going to go at Sheamus full speed. Sheamus calls him out again but here’s Barrett instead. Barrett says that Sheamus already has to face him on Main Event so don’t even worry about Big Show tonight. Sweet goodness just make the tag match already. Sheamus calls him to the ring again but Barrett leaves.

Barrett is in the back post match and Booker makes the tag match. Why do they bother having these ten minute openings when that’s the match announced every time? Seriously, that’s good TV time being totally wasted on pandering when you know the outcome the second the names are mentioned. It’s Sheamus/Regal vs. Show/Barrett if that’s not clear.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston

Kofi is defending. Now remember: Miz has lost three straight times to Kofi but he got a pin in a tag match. That pin after a Show punch was apparently enough to convince Booker to give us this match. The first thing said during this match is that Kofi has Miz’s number. They’re not even hiding that there’s no reason to believe Miz can win here. The ropes seem extra loose here for some reason.

After a headlock by the champion he hits a monkey flip and clothesline to put Miz on the floor. A baseball slide misses for Kofi and Miz puts him on the barricade. Kofi is fine with that and walks the barricade like Jeff Hardy used to do, hitting a clothesline to take Miz down. Back in and Miz drops Kofi out of the corner and might have hurt the champ’s knee. We take a break and come back with Miz getting two off something we didn’t see.

Miz holds onto the ankle in a hold that really doesn’t look like it hurts. During the break Miz dropped Lofi’s knee on the steps and back live a dropkick to said knee gets two. Miz hooks a weird kind of standing Figure Four before going to the mat with a generic leg lock. Kofi’s solution? Kick him in the face. Why overcomplicate things? Kofi fights back and hits the Boom Drop but Trouble in Paradise is countered. The Finale is countered into a series of rollups before Miz hooks a half crab. Kofi goes up again but gets crotched. Miz’s superplex attempt is blocked and Kofi hits a top rope cross body to retain at 11:29.

Rating: C+. We get it: Kofi can beat Miz. Now why did we need to see this for a fourth time? I’ve heard the plan is to move Miz to the main event again, so the solution is to have him lose FOUR TIMES? The lack of drama hurts this, as the announcers kept harping on the 3-0 that Kofi has been since this feud started. Not a bad match but it was beating a dead horse.

Post match Miz offers a handshake (you read that right) but Kofi dropkicks him to the floor. Jerk.

Prime Time Players vs. Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio

Young vs. Cara to start with Darren taking control. Titus adds his power stuff before it’s back to Young with a cravate. Titus breaks up a hot tag for a second before an enziguri from Cara lets him tag Mysterio. Rey speeds things up and ranas Titus into 619 position, only to have Darren break it up. Titus grabs a charging Rey and hits the Clash of the Titus for the pin at 3:13.

Rating: D+. At least with this feud that keeps going the teams are alternating wins. Titus and Young have charisma to them where they’re fun to watch. Mysterio and Cara are going to be popular no matter what they do, so there’s nothing for them to lose here. This was short but it was competitive enough to not be terrible.

Post match Striker tries to interview the Players, but the Players interview themselves with every answer being millions of dollars. They make Striker say it too but he’s not so enthusiastic. They try to get Striker to do the millions of dollars dance but he gets whistled at for having no rhythm and a bad mustache. The Players do the dance instead.

As this is being written, Linda McMahon has officially lost her race in the Senate.

We recap the Cena/AJ/Vickie stuff from last night and by recap, I mean show the whole thing. We’re going to get MORE footage on Raw. Good grief END THIS STUPID STORY ALREADY!

Booker and Teddy talk about the tag match tonight with Teddy saying that he made a lot of tag matches too. This turns into Booker implying Teddy is sucking up to him. Oh wait Booker is just kidding.

Big Show/Wade Barrett vs. William Regal/Sheamus

After the break, we look at the video from earlier again in case someone forgot it. BIG pop for Regal. Sheamus chases the heels to the floor before the match starts and we stall a lot. Show wants to start with Regal but both guys tag to bring in Barrett vs. Sheamus. It’s their usual power brawling stuff to start with Sheamus finally getting two off a clothesline. Off to Regal in his one piece women’s swimsuit for his usual hard stuff to Barrett’s chest. Sheamus hits the slingshot shoulder for two.

Show yells at the referee a lot and it’s back to Regal, who gets a pop on his second tag instead of the first. Regal gets his legs swept out from under him and Big Show comes in to pound him down. The heels double team the home country guy but Regal keeps fighting back. Show shoulders him right back down and puts on a nerve hold as we take a break. Back with Barrett still working over Regal before bringing Show back in.

Show works on Regal’s arm and Regal yells a lot while having an EVIL look on his face. I think JBL said that the Souvenir has been changed to the Bull Hammer now. I wouldn’t be complaining about the name change. Barrett hooks a front facelock but Regal shakes him off. That and a forearm to Barrett’s face are enough to make the tag to Sheamus who fires off a bunch of ax handles to drop Show. The top rope shoulder looks to set up the Brogue Kick but a Barrett distraction allows Show to spear Sheamus down. Off to Regal who fires on Show with everything he’s got, but the WMD knocks him silly for the pin at about 14:00.

Rating: C-. This was your standard main event tag match for the hometown audience. I’m kind of glad they didn’t have Regal get a win over either of these guys because it would have been silly to have a guy never on the show get a win over a top guy. If this were a house show it would have been fine but on TV Regal losing was the right call.

We recap the food fight last week with Orton and Del Rio.

Del Rio doesn’t have much to say but Rosa wishes him luck.

We get the Brad Maddox segment from Raw. This one is clipped though.

Orton says he’s crazy and doesn’t mind being called names by Del Rio.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Randy Orton

This is falls count anywhere and anything goes, since I guess Hardcore is on the not cool list of terms now. We come back from a break but WAIT, before the match we have to look at some SyFy show to fill in more time so we don’t have a 25 minute main event. Here’s Alberto, but here’s ANOTHER recap before the bell can ring. If anything goes here, why doesn’t Ricardo come in and help Alberto?

He hands Del Rio a chair but Orton knocks it away from Alberto. The chair gets wedged between the top and middle rope in the corner but Orton dropkicks Del Rio to the floor. Alberto sends him into the barricade and has to escape the Elevated DDT. They head into the crowd with Randy giving chase. Del Rio whips him into some big metal cases. They head into the concourse and we take a break.

Back with the brawl continuing in the back before they head into the arena again. Del Rio drapes him over a barricade and hits a knee lift for two. They fight back up the steps with Orton pounding him in the head. A cameraman goes down as we go to a flat area where Del Rio hits a superkick and a chair shot for two. We take another break and come back with Del Rio having steps placed in the ring. Orton fights back and they go to the floor by the stage where Orton backdrops Del Rio from the floor to the ramp for two.

Ricardo tries to choke Randy a bit and is immediately shrugged off. Orton throws Ricardo into the British phone booth on the stage and pounds on him a bit. It’s about time some of those props up there were used. Orton hits the clotheslines back in the ring and sends Del Rio into the chair that Alberto set up earlier. Del Rio sends Orton to the apron but Orton comes back with a headbutt.

There’s a table set up at ringside but Orton can’t suplex Bertie through it. Instead Alberto hits an enzugri to send Randy through it VERY slowly. That gets two on the floor and Alberto grabs a mic. He says he’s the new Apex Predator of the WWE and there’s the armbreaker. Apparently rope breaks don’t count here (yet they count in the Cell I believe) so Orton has to hit Del Rio in the head with the mic to escape. Alberto sends him shoulder first into the post and pulls the steps into position. Del Rio tries an Elevated DDT onto those steps but Randy escapes and it’s the RKO onto the steps for the pin at 21:45.

Rating: B. For a main event on free TV, this was a solid hardcore match. Does Orton ever lose matches with rules like this one had? They beat on each other really well with Orton getting the better of it for the most part, but Alberto didn’t look bad at all. Hopefully this ends the feud like traditional storytelling would dictate.

Josh’s line to close the show: “Who is the Apex Predator of the WWE?” SO WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS FREAKING MATCH??? Orton just beat him in a brutal match but we’re still not sure? And they wonder why no one is interested in their stories anymore.

Overall Rating: C. The main event was good but the rest of the show was only ok. Te real problem here is that Smackdown adds absolutely nothing to WWE anymore. It’s a lot of matches you different versions of on Raw and a big tag match that doesn’t mean anything outside of England. On top of that you get long recaps from Raw and that’s it. Seriously, what else is there on Smackdown? Oh there’s that wacky Teddy and Booker bantering.

This show is worthless anymore and the rating is going to bomb with the election being tight at the moment. But hey, when you have a ton of bad stuff on Raw, the solution is to just air it again right? Tonight’s episode did not need to be on Tuesday and it’s not going to mean anything, as these feuds are the same ones you get on Raw. Why the WWE thinks people want to see them again on Tuesday/Friday is beyond me, but what do I know?

Results

Kofi Kingston b. The Miz – Cross Body

Prime Time Players b. Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio – Clash of the Titus to Rey

Big Show/Wade Barrett b. Sheamus/William Regal – WMD to Regal

Randy Orton b. Alberto Del Rio – RKO onto steel steps

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Cyber Sunday 2006
Date: November 5, 2006
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re obviously on Sunday now as this should be a bit better of a show, at least in theory. We have a main event of Champion vs. Champion vs. Champion as Big Show vs. Booker T vs. John Cena is the main event. The vote is which title is on the line. This also has a very long Rated RKO vs. DX match on it and one of my favorite comedy moments ever in wrestling if not my favorite. All that being said let’s get to it.

The video is about how we have the power and it lists off most of the matches and the stipulations we can pick.

The first vote is who fights Umaga with the choices being Sandman, Kane or Benoit. Benoit, the US Champion, is last as Kane more or less dominates the poll with nearly 50%. And what a coincidence that these two had been feuding!

Umaga vs. Kane

Umaga had sent Kane to either Smackdown or ECW recently so again there’s a point to this, which is just so convenient no? It was Smackdown apparently. Umaga is still undefeated here. Kane can’t hurt him with a headbutt as it’s good to see that Vince is keeping up with his stereotypes. Total slugout to start and Kane no sells a bunch of stuff. Pretty boring match so far but what do you expect?

The Samoan hits a downward spiral of all things to take over. This needs to end already and we’re like three minutes into it. The running hip shot has Kane reeling. Ok apparently it woke him up. Is this supposed to make sense? A mas of Samoan fat in your face wakes you up? Also what is it with Samoans and that move in the corner?

Kane starts his comeback and has the…uh….small man in trouble. Estrada gets up on the apron to do nothing of note and Kane sits up after the Samoan Drop. This has gotten better if you couldn’t tell. He jumps off for the clothesline but jumps into the Samoan Spike and another one ends it.

Rating: D+. This got better but still not by much. It’s ok but that’s about all it was. Umaga would get a main event push very soon but it never really went anywhere either. This was a pretty decent opener I guess but the crowd was pretty much dead for it which is really weird. Kane jobs again. What a shock that is.

Show and Sharmell talk and Sharmell tries to talk Show out of the match. Oh wait she wants them to team up. This is generic and stupid but it’s standard fair for shows and matches like these.

Cryme Tyme vs. Viscera/Charlie Haas vs. The Highlanders vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

The options are Texas Tornado, Fatal Fourway or Tag Team Turmoil with the insane one winning. Texas Tornado means everyone is in the ring at the same time. No titles or anything but rather just a match to fill out the card. Tornado gets half the vote and it’s a big mess. I remember Viscera and Charlie as a team but have no idea why. This is a total mess of course.

Who would imagine that JTG would be the only one left in the company at this point and that Viscera is the most famous name in this match somehow. I’m not even going to try to keep track of what’s going on here as it’s a free for all. JTG and Charlie are the only ones in the ring. Great German suplex by Haas to take over but they’re replaced almost immediately by Shad and Viscera.

Shad has been arrested 23 times for assault. The Highlanders get rid of the fat man as Cade and Murdoch take over. And then JTG hits a kick to end it. Sure whatever. They dance on the announce table after the match and teach JR the handshake. And there goes King’s laptop. Racial stereotyping FTW! Yes I said FTW.

Rating: D. Total mess here with no flow or story in sight but that was the idea I guess. It was just a big disaster with everyone all over the place. It was to put Cryme Tyme over but of course they never wound up doing anything. They would get fired sooner or later here but I’m not sure when. It’s not like it matters or anything so whatever.

Time for the moment referenced in the title. Shawn and HHH are at a computer with Shawn voting on who should be the referee in their match tonight. They’ve tormented Coach and Vince enough, so that leaves Bischoff. HHH tells Shawn he’s not controversial enough anymore, sending Shawn into a frenzy. He asks a production guys what his name is. Production guy: “Stan.” Shawn: “Stan?” Then he superkicks Stan. It’s so out of nowhere that it works perfectly. Then Shawn runs down the hall, superkicking everyone he runs into. Youtube this. It’s hilarious and cracks me up every time.

The next pick is for Jeff Hardy’s opponent with the choices being Johnny Nitro, Shelton Benjamin and Carlito, who wins in a LANDSLIDE with over 60% of the vote.

Intercontinental Title: Carlito vs. Jeff Hardy

The title was getting a bit of a rejuvenation around this time before dying again soon after this due to one Santino. I think both are faces here but I’m not sure. They shake hands so I’d assume so. They do some mat/technical stuff but it’s botched pretty badly. And there’s another semi-botch. Either they’re doing a really weird style or they’re just botching a lot of stuff. Someone really wants Carlito to cut his hair.

Hardy’s rail running clothesline is countered by a dropkick in a decent looking move. Twist of Fate is reversed as this is getting better. The one that isn’t on national TV at the moment controls as we’re just waiting around a lot at this point. What we’re waiting for I’m not sure but the fans think this is boring. I can’t say I disagree. We’ve had a lot of Carlito using a reverse bearhug on the mat. Yes he’s being lazy. I’m shocked too.

From that we head to a sleeper. I bet the concession stand people are loving this. Crowd is pretty dead for this and I can’t blame them at all. I love people complaining about Cole and Lawler now as he and JR are botching a ton of lines here. Jeff makes a comeback but the Swanton hits knees. Whisper in the Wind gets two as this part at least is good. Carlito misses a hurricanrana and the Swanton finally ends it.

Rating: D+. The ending made it watchable but DANG the stalling here was stupid. They just laid around here far too long and it just was boring for the most part. It’s about 13 minutes long but the majority of that is just Carlito doing rest holds. This could have been good if Carlito wasn’t so lazy, but then again if he wasn’t he’d still be employed.

Ad for one of Hogan’s DVDs.

We recap DX vs. Rated RKO which was about Orton and Edge teaming up to take Raw back from DX and its selfishness. This was a cool idea for an angle but of course HHH got hurt as he was known to do. Naturally this allows us to have a DX montage package since that’s just what you do. The choices here are Vince, Coach or Bischoff.

D-Generation X Vs. Rated RKO

DX’s intro takes forever of course even though they come out first. Bischoff gets sixty percent of the vote, beating Vince and Coach combined. This makes me question the legitimacy here as Bischoff getting that many especially with Vince in the poll is REALLY odd. He’s going to be against DX here for no adequately explained reason. It says a lot when HBK, probably the best and biggest star of these four, is the one with the least world titles on his resume.

We see more of Edge than I’d like as Shawn pulls his tights down. We’ll he’s had it done so often to him I guess he had to return the favor to someone. HHH says he’s coming in off the top then says screw it and just climbs down. That was kind of funny. It was completely pointless but it was kind of funny. All DX to start here but I think that was more or less expected. Lots of punching here so far but we’re only a few minutes into it.

Orton is really arrogant here and is perfect as the total jerk. He’s not quite as good as he was two years before, but he was great back then so it’s hard to call him at his best. Shawn comes in and we get the forearm and nip-up like five minutes into this. Orton stops Chin Music though and crotches Shawn. He plays Ricky Morton now, which says a lot about how much the Midnights and the Rock N Roll Express changed and influenced wrestling.

Shawn’s selling really is great. You would believe he’s been run over by a bus off of every move he takes, which really makes the other guy look devastating. Naturally, Orton hits a chinlock. Shawn gets out of the way of a spear and down goes Bischoff to a solid pop. Naturally DX waits for a tag to have HHH come in even though there’s no referee. Uh…moral?

Spear takes down HHH and Edge does a crotch chop so he takes a plancha from Shawn for his troubles. RKO puts HHH down and here’s a spare referee to count the two. This all took like a minute so sorry for the commentary. Sweet Chin Music to Orton gets two since Bischoff pulls the referee out of the ring. A chair is brought in and both DX guys get popped with it and Bischoff doesn’t seem to mind. RKO on the chair ends it.

Rating: B-. Not bad here but there was just something missing. It felt rushed even though this somehow was pushing 20 minutes. The beginning is just a bunch of punches and then Shawn got in trouble, setting up the ref bump and the ending. It’s definitely a good match but this could have been more if the time they had was used more properly, which isn’t something you often have to say about a match Shawn is in.

Ad for The Marine, which wasn’t that bad.

Rated RKO says nothing of note.

The Divas come out to be told who to do. Make your own jokes on that one. It’s a lumberjack match.

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Lita

Trish retired so we had a four Diva tournament to set this up. Lita is about a month from retiring at this point so she’s more or less destined to win. Mickie throws the absolute worst dropkick anyone with a great rack has ever thrown. This is horrible but at least we get to look at Mickie’s figure. Lita as a heel just doesn’t work from an in ring perspective. She hooks on a sleeper that does fairly well.

Not that it wins or anything since it’s a freaking sleeper but nice try if nothing else. Instead of a match here, Lita seems like she’s just there doing moves on Mickie with no particular rhyme or reason. The girls do their thing of course and nothing of note is going on here at all. Lita blocks/Mickie botches the Stratusfaction and Mickie gets a rollup for two. The other Divas get involved and a spike DDT ends it for Lita.

Rating: D. This was boring beyond all belief. The only highlights were Mickie in general and Lita’s chest. Other than that we were just sitting around watching this nonsense go on and on. The match never went anywhere as it’s clear Lita just didn’t care anymore. Mickie would win the title from Lita at Survivor Series in Lita’s retirement match.

Mania is in Detroit.

Kenny yells at the Spirit Squad and says he’s better than they are so he’s the leader.

Raw Tag Titles: Ric Flair/??? vs. Spirit Squad

The vote is for Flair’s partner. The choices are Piper, Slaughter and Dusty. Piper, looking VERY old, gets the nod. Is there supposed to be a connection between Slaughter and Flait that I’m just not getting? Piper takes his shirt off and I get mad at him. How could he not tell us he was 8 months pregnant? He even has breasts full of milk! Dusty and Slaughter come out to back up the old guys for this.

Kenny and Mikey are the two in the ring at the moment. Ross says this is like Lebron vs. Michael Jordan. Well no one ever claimed Ross toned things down. Both tag and Piper is pathetic looking. Piper gets beaten up as Flair is by far the ace of the team. That’s either awesome or sad and I’m not sure which. The heels dominate for the most part while Piper just kind of lays there.

The hot tag brings in Flair and Mikey is in the figure four but Kenny saves with his top rope legdrop. Are we waiting on the Piper hot tag now? It’s clear that Flair is the only guy on his team in any semblance of shape. Figure four goes on again and OLD GUYS WIN! Dusty and Slaughter come in to stop the big beatdown. Rhodes’ music of all things plays them out. Ah ok it’s so they can dance.

Rating: D-. This was pretty pathetic really. Flair is passable but Piper was clearly just in nothing close to wrestling shape. He would at least wear a t-shirt for the rest of his time in the ring which is a nice break. They would drop the belts in 8 days to Rated RKO so at least this wasn’t long or anything. The match was bad though, namely due to Piper.

Booker tries to get Cena on his side and Cena says ok, but he wants one night with the Queen. Can’t say he’s not smart as Sharmell is rather attractive. Booker sends Sharmell out and then says ok to a HUGE shocked pop. Cena asks if he’s crazy as that’s Booker’s wife. He leaves and makes up a story to Sharmell about this weird orgy that he gets to watch. Funnier than it sounds, and Ron Simmons says his catchphrase.

Ad for Survivor Series, where it’s brand vs. brand vs. brand.

Some Bengals are here.

We see how all three champions got their titles in a cool package.

Basically you’re voting for who you want to win here since no title is going to be unified here. Booker wins by a landslide.

Smackdown World Title: Booker T vs. John Cena vs. Big Show

Booker is knocked to the floor almost immediately and it’s Cena vs. Show for a long time. We swap that out for Booker vs. Cena as it’s clearly going to be a basic triple thread with two guys fighting for awhile as the third is down. Show gets two and Cena makes the save. A double clothesline puts the big man on the floro and something tells me that’s the last we’re going to see from him for a LONG time.

Of course I’m wrong as he makes a save off a Fisherman’s suplex from Cena. Show gets the stairs but gets a dropkick to his knee, driving his head into the steps. Ok that’s how they get rid of him. Book End gets two in the ring. Just to mess with the internet, Cena hits a belly to belly suplex and goes for a top rope splash. Lawler points out Cena has nothing to lose here which is true.

It’s been Booker vs. Cena for about 4 minutes now with Show on the floor. Both counter the other’s finisher and we’re about even. STFU doesn’t work as this just isn’t that much at all, mainly because we know nothing is coming from this since Show is going to be back eventually to stop whatever is going on here. Token plug for the Marine follows as Cena is in control.

After about seven minutes Show is finally up. That’s part of the issue with matches like these: a move like that would never keep a guy down that long but here it’s perfectly normal. A missile dropkick puts Show down and takes Cena down with him since Cena was on Show’s shoulders. Wow that came out awkward but you get the idea. Show takes over now and takes Cena to the floor.

And so much for that theory as Show gets put down (and booed loudly) before the 5 Knuckle Shuffle has Booker in trouble. FU to Sharmell as she tries to hit Cena with a belt. STFU on Booker and KEVIN FREAKING FEDERLINE comes in and blasts Cena with a belt. A belt shot from Booker lets him keep the title.

Rating: D+. Just a bad match overall. There was no way a title was changing here and since Show couldn’t stay in there longer than like two minutes at a time due to general fatness, this was a glorified one on one match. It’s a cool idea on paper but other than that it’s really not that much. The over twenty minutes did go by quickly though which was nice.

Overall Rating: D. These shows just aren’t that good. The voting thing is a cool idea but the problem comes when the matches simply aren’t any good no matter what you throw out there. The Champion of Champions match was a good idea but it was really weak given Show laying on the ground for most of it. Like I’ve said for a long time, these should be TV specials rather than PPVs. Nothing big ever happens and the tag titles changing hands is almost predictable at this point. Bad show, but not too bad.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 3, 2008
Location: St. Pete Times Forum, Tampa, Florida
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

This is the REAL 800th episode, at least according to WWE and is a three hour show. It means I’m probably wrong about some of the previous centennial episodes but does it really matter? Anyway we have a big long card and a bunch of highlights from the first 799 episodes which I’m sure we haven’t seen a million times before. Oh and Batista defending against Jericho in a cage. Let’s get to it.

DX fights Miz/Morrison tonight.

Here’s Orton to open the show. He says to either fire Adamle as GM or he’s walking. Shane and Stephanie won’t fix things so he’s going to put a stop to it. If you think he’s bluffing, try him. Orton gets a chair and sits between the announce tables.

Hardys vs. The Brian Kendrick/MVP

Matt is ECW Champion and Jeff is about a month and a half from winning the WWE Title. We get a clip from Episode #764: Jeff diving off the tower onto Orton from earlier in the year. Jeff vs. MVP gets us going with not much at all. Off to Matt so the Hardys can screw up some basic stuff. Back to Jeff for Poetry in Motion as the fans aren’t that interested so far.

Off to Kendrick who jumps onto Jeff’s back and kicks away at it. Sliced Bread is countered and Jeff hits the sitout gordbuster and brings in Matt. Matt cleans house, knocking Kendrick to the floor and hitting the Side Effect on MVP for two. MVP gets a shot in and it’s off to Kendrick. The referee didn’t see it so while he’s being put out, the Twist and Swanton get the pin MVP.

Rating: D+. Pretty dull match here as I think the Hardys were there to give us some kind of a nostalgia feeling, but it doesn’t quite mean much when the team hasn’t meant anything in years at this point. Also the lack of doubt as to who wins here kind of hurt things too. Kendrick’s push started and stopped in about the course of a month.

We get a clip of the first episode where Heenan couldn’t get inside among other things.

The Kid beats Razor Ramon on Episode #17. That really was a huge deal.

Battle Royal

William Regal, Manu, JTG, Shad Gaspar, Cody Rhodes, Jamie Noble, Snitsky, Ted DiBiase Jr.

Orton is still at ringside. The winner gets an IC Title match next week. Santino is on commentary as he’s champion. He declares himself champion of the world as this match is going nowhere. Snitsky the Bald is sent out by all three members of Priceless, but DiBiase throws out Manu and Rhodes in a nice move. Regal and Noble go to the floor but not over the top. Oh ok Noble is out. We have Cryme Tyme, Regal and DiBiase left. DiBiase fights the tag team and throws out JTG. Shad misses a boot so Ted can toss him, but Regal sneaks in to throw out Teddy for the win and the title shot, which I think he would win.

Rating: D-. Really boring match here with an ending that you’ve seen a million times before. Well you’ve probably not seen a million battle royals but you get the idea. Still though, boring match and it was about as cheap of a way as you could get to give Regal the title shot. Nothing else to say here.

Shane and Stephanie arrive. Stephanie says Shane can handle this, referring to Orton I think.

Episode #409: Vince buys WCW but Shane steals it from under him. Still a huge moment, still amazing how much they screwed that up.

Orton is in the ring again and talks about how Adamle slapped him in the face. Therefore, either Adamle goes, or Orton goes. Cue the dancing McMahon who says he doesn’t appreciate this. Orton says that Vince would get this done immediately. Shane says he’s not his father but they have the same last name. Cue Adamle who says everyone in charge of Raw has always had an agenda. He wanted to be the first unbiased GM, but unfortunately that hasn’t been happening. Therefore, he’s quitting, and also drawing the biggest pop of the night.

Orton however wants an apology still. Shane says Orton should apologize to Adamle. Orton has had an excuse of a bad shoulder lately, but Shane thought Orton looked fine at Cyber Sunday. Shane thought something was up so he went to Orton’s doctors, who said that Orton has been cleared to compete for months. Orton doesn’t want to come back until Survivor Series, but Shane thinks it should be tonight. Randy says he doesn’t have his gear, but Shane says he’ll take care of that. It’s Orton vs. Punk tonight.

Senator Barack Obama asks if you know what he’s cooking. Senator John McCain wants to know if you know what he’s cooking.

Vladimir Kozlov vs. Charlie Haas

This is during Charlie’s imitation period so he’s Bret the Hitman Haas here. He even cuts a quick promo but the voice doesn’t work at all. The fans didn’t screw Vladimir at Cyber Sunday. Vlad screwed Vlad. Boot to the chest, suplex, headbutt, pin in 25 seconds.

After a clip of Batista winning the title at Cyber Sunday, Big Dave says he’ll keep the title tonight.

Episode #257: DX invades WCW. HUGE moment here.

D-Generation X vs. John Morrison/The Miz

HHH is WWE Champion. DX does their intro and we get a clip from ECW where Miz/Morrison made fun of them for being old and then beat up some DX impersonators. Shawn points out that the impersonator has a huge nose. Maybe Shawn just got used to it over the years but THAT THING IS HUGE! They also mocked his chaps. You can punch his wife, you can spit in his face, BUT NO ONE MOCKS THE CHAPS!

HHH points out them making fun of Shawn for losing his hair. Shawn doesn’t remember this. HHH: “Well I’m pretty sure…” Shawn: “No they didn’t.” HHH: “Shawn I’m sure…” Shawn: “Drop it!” HHH: Well ok….” Shawn: “WE WILL NEVER SPEAK OF THIS AGAIN!” HHH makes fun of Miz/Morrison’s high school pictures. Miz looks like a horse and Morrison enjoys rest stop sex. Shawn says he’s ready, the fans say they’re ready, we get a clip of Big Dick Johnson giving Miz a lap dance for some reason which traumatizes Shawn, and now we get to the DX intro, complete with more gay jokes from the Game. Funny stuff.

Oh yeah we have a match to get to. This is joined in progress with Morrison getting two on HHH. HHH takes his head off with a clothesline and it’s a double tag. Shawn knocks Miz down and hits the elbow to set up the Kick. Morrison breaks that up and Miz takes over via a clothesline. Miz whips Shawn into the corner where Shawn flips, followed by Miz’s corner clothesline.

Morrison comes in and pokes Shawn in the eye so Shawn kicks him in the head. Off to HHH who cleans house with the knees to the face. Facebuster looks to set up the Pedigree on Morrison but Miz breaks it up, only to walk into the spinebuster. Morrison imitates Shawn with a forearm, nipup and then tuning up the band, with the kick connecting on HHH. Miz and Morrison do crotch chops and Miz loads up a Pedigree, which is easily countered. Shawn kicks Miz’s head off and the Pedigree ends this.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match at all as Miz/Morrison got to show off a bit here. There was never any doubt as to who would win as the non-degerates didn’t mean much yet. Seeing them imitate DX’s stuff was good though and that’s what popped the fans for the most part. Fun little match.

JBL is with Shane and says he should be the new GM. Shane says he’ll think about it and has an idea about putting JBL in a match tonight. JBL thinks he means making the cage match a triple threat for the title, but Shane says it’s against the Undertaker.

Episode #243: Mike Tyson is here. Another HUGE moment.

Face Diva Team vs. Heel Diva Team

It’s a sixteen Diva tag. Do you really think I’m listing off all of them in what’s going to be a two minute match at longest? There are only seven good Divas so here’s Mae Young to be #8. Beth pounds on Kelly to start but Kelly uses her screaming headscissors, which is her only offense three and a half years later. Here’s Mae and Beth sells WAY too much for her. She knocks down everyone but falls down. A brawl breaks out and Beth rolls up Mae for the pin. As usual, three girls were in the match. If I remember right Mae was legit hurt in this.

Smackdown ReBound of the casket match with Taker vs…..Chavo Guerrero? Big Show interfered but Taker won anyway.

Episode #456: Rock challenges Hogan.

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

Punk and Kofi are tag champions here in a reign I don’t think anyone remembers. This is as a result of Orton punting Punk at Unforgiven and costing him the world title, which somehow wouldn’t have a proper blowoff match until 2011. Punk takes him into the corner to start but Orton pounds him right back down. Here’s the Orton Stomp and a knee drop for two. Off to a chinlock which is broken up quickly. Punk avoids a charge in the corner and hits the springboard clothesline. Orton comes back with a clothesline in the corner and loads up the RKO…and here’s DiBiase for the DQ. Too short to rate.

DiBiase pounds on Punk and Orton punts DiBiase all the way into The Marine 2. Ted gets stretchered out.

Rhodes and Manu yell at Randy about it and Randy says if you have a problem do something about it right now. No one moves.

Episode #772: Floyd Mayweather is thrown over the top. This wasn’t exactly what I’d call a huge moment.

Stephanie is looking very good in her office when Adamle comes in. He says he’s leaving because she micromanages. Stephanie says being in charge is her birthright. He leaves and Shane comes in. He has a major announcement about Survivor Series but he won’t tell her.

Episode #475: Undertaker vs. Jeff Hardy in a ladder match for the title.

Here’s JR to call the next match and probably the rest of the show. Unfortunately it’s him and Tazz instead of him and Jerry like it should be.

Undertaker vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Taker grabs a headlock to start and hits a quick Old School. JBL shoulders him down and punches Taker in the corner. That doesn’t last long as the punching comes from Undertaker now, followed by a big boot and legdrop. The chokeslam hits and Taker does the throat slit. JBL escapes the tombstone and they collide with JBL falling to the floor. John looks to get back in but Taker sits up, so JBL bails for a countout for another short match.

JBL tries to walk out but Shawn throws him back in for a tombstone.

Jericho comes in to see Shane and the announcement is that the winner of Batista vs. Jericho gets to defend against the returning Cena at Survivor Series in Boston.

Episode #304: Ausitn and the beer truck.

Here’s Kung Fu Naki for a demonstration in the ring. Ok so I have his song on my iPod. Sue me. Horny comes in to dance with him. Boogeyman comes in to terrorize them and dances a bit too. Goldust, Jesse, Festus, Hacksaw, Slaughter, Lillian, Dusty, Cole and King all get in and dance too. Why is this happening? Oh ok, it’s so Ron Simmons can get a line in.

Episode #775: Flair retires. I can’t watch that anymore.

Episode #630: Edge and Lita’s wedding.

Kofi Kingston/Rey Mysterio vs. Mark Henry/Kane

Kofi is a tag champion with Punk but for some reason he’s in this match instead. Rey vs. Kane to start and It hink you can figure out what’s going on here: Mysterio moves around a lot and gets in a few shots but Kane runs him over. Off to Henry who runs him over even more. A splash misses and here’s the tag to Kofi. His kicks don’t do anything as Henry just throws him around. Kofi manages to get in a shot to send Henry to the corner and he knocks Kane off the apron. Henry gets tired of being on defense and catches a top rope cross body in the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin. Basically a squash.

Kane throws Mysterio out…and here’s Khali. He chops down both other monsters and Rey’s music plays for some reason.

Video on Raw being a longer running show than ANYTHING, except for World Championship Wrestling on Saturday Night which ran over 20 years without missing a week but we don’t count that because it makes us sound bad.

Video on Cena, who is coming back at Survivor Series. It’s kind of a career retrospective.

Shane and Stephanie say nothing of note.

Episode #761: Tribute to the Troops 2008.

Raw World Title: Batista vs. Chris Jericho

Batista won the title at Cyber Sunday, 8 days earlier. Pin, submission or escape as usual. Jericho charges straight at him which goes about as well as anyone else charging straight at Batista goes. He tries to run over the top but Batista catches him and hits a suplex followed by a clothesline for two. Jericho gets rammed into the cage and screams in pain. Or is it laughter? He’s always been a complicated guy. Batista rams him into the steel again and we take a break.

Back with Jericho hooking the Walls of Jericho on the apparent injured knee of Batista. There’s some tape on there but you would have to know to look for it. Batista kicks him off but he kicks him to the door so Batista has to make a diving save. They fight near the open door and in a smart move, Jericho throws Batista’s leg out the door so he can slam the door on it. Nice move.

We’re told that the knee injury too place at Cyber Sunday. That makes sense. Back in the middle of the ring Batista hits a spinning Bossman Slam for two. Jericho goes right back for the knee and loads up the Codebreaker, but Batista rams him into the cage instead. A spear misses though and Batista is right back down after hitting cage. Jericho goes up to escape but climbs down in front of the door which Batista throws open and pulls him back in. That was creative.

Spinebuster puts Jericho down but the Batista Bomb is countered as Jericho grabs the cage and tries to climb out again. Batista manages to throw him off but gets crotched to put both guys down. They go up again and Jericho almost gets caught in a top rope Batista Bomb. He manages to pull something off the cage and rams it into Batista’s head which allows him to get over the top. Batista grabs the top of Chris’ head but can’t stop him and Jericho wins the title.

Rating: B. I liked this a lot more than the Edge vs. Cena cage match that I did recently. The best part here was that they actually came up with some creative spots and we got a surprise ending. Why they gave Batista an 8 day reign is a little unclear but I’d assume it was so they could give us a surprise here, which is fine. Good main event.

Overall Rating: C+. I liked this show but it wasn’t great. The problem was that they didn’t seem sure if they wanted to do a regular show with nostalgia thrown in or vice versa which makes the show feel uneven. It’s entertaining enough though and that’s the important idea. Coupling that with a good main event and the show is definitely more good than bad, but it’s not a great show or anything.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: November 4, 2013
Location: Bon Secours Wellness Arena, Grenville, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re back to the red show after last week’s solid outing. There are a lot of things going on at the moment so it’s hard to guess what the focus is going to be tonight. Maybe they’ll even explain why or how Big Show has been doing everything he’s been doing. It would be nice for a change. Let’s get to it.

CM Punk vs. Luke Harper

Punk fires off some right hands to start but Harper easily runs him over with a hard forearm. Naturally Punk fires away as well as he can, backdropping Harper up and over the ropes to the floor. The suicide dive is broken up by a forearm to the head, stopping Punk cold again. Harper puts on the Gator Roll (rolling front facelock) and stops Punk’s comeback with a HARD shot to the face. Punk avoids a charge in the corner though, sending Harper to the floor. Now the suicide dive connects and we take a break.

Back with Harper ripping at Punk’s face before choking him with a boot for a bit. We get another Gator Roll into a chinlock but Punk fights up with some elbows. They slug it out a bit until Punk takes him down with a leg lariat. They blow the swinging neckbreaker spot so Punk hits the running knee in the corner but dives on Rowan instead of hitting the Macho Elbow. Punk loads up the springboard clothesline but dives into Harper’s boot. Luke loads up the discus lariat but Punk ducks underneath and rolls Harper up for the pin at 11:12.

Rating: C. This was fine. I have no problem with Punk beating the help because they’re just impressive minions for Wyatt himself. Harper got to look good out there and that’s what Punk is good for in this feud. The monsters will have their day soon enough and the blowoff match with Wyatt himself will be awesome.

Post match the beatdown is on but Bryan makes the save with a chair to a BIG reaction.

We get a clip from a sitdown interview with HHH where he bans Big Show from WWE for life.

You can pick Orton’s opponent tonight. It’s either Dolph Ziggler, Big E. Langston or The Miz.

Post break Punk says he’s not the only one who hates the Wyatts and he know what it’s like to be outnumbered.

Paul Heyman calls in to say he’s in Europe due to the injuries he suffered at Punk’s hands on top of the Cell. He has herniated discs in his back, bruised kidneys and a broken nose. Heyman starts crying and hangs up.

Earlier tonight Ryback messed with Hornswoggle and Santino until Khali intervened. Ryback called them freaks.

Ryback vs. Great Khali

This is a pretty far fall for Ryback. Khali shoves him down to start and there’s the loud chop in the corner. Ryback is picked up by the ear and chopped over and over in the corner. He comes back with a clothesline but Khali kicks him in the face. The big chop misses and Ryback hits the Meat Hook for the pin at 2:26. This was what it was.

Post match Ryback goes after Hornswoggle and Santino.

We get another clip of Big Show coming in when he was banned. I sense a theme here tonight.

Kofi Kingston vs. Alberto Del Rio

Alberto fires off kicks to the leg to start and easily stops a comeback attempt. Kofi’s jumping back elbow puts Del Rio down and a clothesline puts him on the floor. Kingston totally overshoots a flip dive and only grazes Del Rio with his arm. Back in and Del Rio blocks the pendulum kick in the corner and hits a nice double stomp to the chest. The enziguri gets two and we hit the chinlock.

That goes nowhere so Alberto gets two off a German suplex. Del Rio mocks Kofi’s hand slap and gets two off a snap suplex. The tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets the same and we’re off to the chinlock. Back up again and Del Rio’s corner enziguri misses, allowing Kofi to hit an ax handle from the middle rope for two. Kofi’s middle rope cross body gets two more and things speed up a bit, only to have Del Rio kick him in the ribs. A rollup gets two on Alberto but he counters into the armbreaker for the submission at 6:50.

Rating: C. Not bad again here but the ending was never in doubt. That’s what Kofi is best at: making people look good while losing almost all the time. He’s fine with not getting a major push up the card because his legacy is already firmly set. Del Rio is still the same guy he’s been for years though and that’s not good.

We get a video on Big Show’s reasons for a lawsuit, including individual charges.

The announcers tell us all the cool things we can do on the WWE App.

Randy Orton vs. ???

Lawler goes to announce the winner of the poll but Orton says hang on a second. The people don’t have a choice because they’re all failures. All they can do is pick his next victim, which is Langston in a major landslide. Non-title of course. Langston runs Orton over to start, sending him out to the floor. Back in and Langston puts on a front facelock before ramming some forearms into Orton’s face. The champ bails to the floor again and gets knocked HARD off the apron as we take a break.

Back with Orton being rammed into the steps but avoiding another charge from Langston, sending the big man out to the floor. Back in and Orton very slowly stomps away before putting on a chinlock. Langston fights up and rams Orton back first into the buckle before hitting a hard shoulder in the corner. A belly to belly puts Orton down and the Warrior Splash gets two. Orton’s backbreaker gets the same and there’s the Elevated DDT for no cover. The RKO is countered with a big clothesline but Orton escapes the Big Ending and the RKO gets the pin at 12:07.

Rating: C+. This worked though they booked themselves into a corner (again) because you don’t want to job Langston but you also can’t have Orton get pinned without setting up a title program. At least Langston looked good before jobbing, but he shouldn’t have been an option in the stupid poll either.

We see HHH banning Big Show again in case you didn’t get the idea already. We also get more clips of Big Show defying HHH’s regime.

Here’s Cena vs. Rock from Wrestlemania 29….in WWE 2K14.

Fandango/Summer Rae vs. Natalya/Tyson Kidd

Naturally we get to look at a clip from Total Divas before the match starts. The guys get us going with Fandango getting kicked in the ribs. Off to the girls with Summer slapping Natalya in the face and catching her in a body scissors. The announcers spend part of the match reading Tweets, including one from Natalya.

The hot tag brings in The guys with Kidd flying around and pulling Fandango to the floor. A HARD kick to the face from the apron drops Fandango again but a Summer distraction lets Fandango drop Kidd onto the apron. Back in and the guillotine legdrop is countered into the Sharpshooter on Fandango for the win at 3:43.

Rating: D+. Kidd looked good and Summer’s legs were as amazing as ever, but this was a four minute ad for Total Divas and nothing more. That’s been the theme tonight: what can we showcase with wrestling as a backdrop? We’ve gotten plugs for the reality show, the video game, the App, and any other WWE product they can think of other than focusing on the stories.

Damien Sandow looks at a clip of losing his cash-in last week. He’s been looking at himself and doesn’t see an intellectual savior but rather someone who is doing whatever he has to do to get what he wants. The Real Americans come in with Zeb praising Sandow before their six man tag tonight.

The announcers continue their Big Show debate. Seriously, each is getting to present evidence of whether he should be banned or not.

Here’s Cena for his match but beforehand he talks about how great WWE is for partnering with the Susan G. Kommen Foundation to help cure cancer. Some breast cancer survivors are here tonight.

John Cena/Goldust/Cody Rhodes vs. Real Americans/Damien Sandow

Rematch from the great main event on Smackdown. Colter and Del Rio are on commentary so the bickering can continue. Cena and Sandow get us going but it’s quickly off to Cody with a sunset flip out of the corner for two. Off to Goldust who cranks on Swagger’s arm before bringing in Cody for a double back elbow. Tyson Kidd is the #1 trending topic in the world, which Cole says, and I quote, “shows the power of Total Divas.”

Anyway, Cesaro comes in for a showdown with Cena as the announcers continue their mindless bickering. Cesaro shoves him into the corner for an uppercut but walks into a fisherman’s suplex for two. We hit a chinlock on Antonio before Goldust comes back in with a bulldog for two. Cena comes back in and chases Sandow to the floor as we take a break. Back with Cesaro hitting Swiss Death on Cena for two. Swagger comes in with the Vader Bomb for the same and it’s quickly back to Sandow.

Cena takes him down with a shoulder but Swagger breaks up the hot tag attempt. The announcers are now using one word Spanish insults on each other, making it sound like a bad sitcom. Swagger’s Patriot Lock doesn’t last long on Cena so it’s back to Antonio, only to have Cena score with a hurricanrana. Sandow breaks up the tag attempt again by going after the bad arm for two. Cena powers out of a top wristlock but can’t hit the AA. Sandow clotheslines him down but Cena counters another one into a powerbomb of all things. There’s the hot tag to Goldust as things speed up.

Cesaro gets caught by the top rope crossbody for two as everything breaks down. Everyone hits their finishers with Swagger and Cena being sent to the floor. There’s the Cesaro Swing to Goldust with JBL counting in Spanish for absolutely no apparent reason. Goldust falls to the floor so Cena sends Cesaro into Colter. Back inside and Goldust hits the ugliest springboard bulldog ever for two. Cody’s moonsault press puts Sandow down and Cena hits a high cross body on Cesaro. Goldust’s Final Cut (spinning suplex into a neckbreaker) pins Antonio at 15:20.

Rating: B-. The original on Smackdown was better but I really liked the action here. On the other hand, the commentary was absolutely horrendous. It wasn’t funny, it didn’t add ANYTHING to the match, it distracted me from what was going on in the ring, and ignored the match for the sake of stupid Spanish jokes. The commentary felt like a scene from a sitcom which was trying WAY too hard. Absolutely horrible waste of a solid match.

In case you didn’t get the idea earlier, here’s the EXACT SAME VIDEO on Big Show’s lawsuit.

Big Show, the man banned for life about five times now, is of course here.

HHH is furious but Stephanie comes in and says she let him in at the board of directors’ insistence. It’s not about HHH and Stephanie anymore but rather the business. Stephanie throws in a line about HHH never minding to take the McMahon money but not liking the responsibilities that come with it.

Curtis Axel vs. Dolph Ziggler

Non-title again. Axel takes him down to start and drops some elbows to the back of Dolph’s head and we hit the chinlock. The announcers continue the debate about Big Show’s charges because the fans watch wrestling to hear a legal debate, right? Ziggler fights back and pounds away in the corner but gets caught with a clothesline to the back of the head for two. Not that it matters as the Zig Zag connects for the pin on Axel at 4:47.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t horrible but there’s no value in beating Axel anymore. I’m guessing the story is that Axel can’t win because he doesn’t have Heyman to guide him, but considering he hardly ever wins anyway, why is this supposed to be anything of note? Ziggler continues to float around doing nothing of note.

We recap the opening segment. Bryan says he was out for payback tonight.

Vickie doesn’t bring Big Show to HHH’s office as ordered but says Big Show wants to meet HHH in the ring.

3MB vs. Usos

Slater and McIntyre here with 3MB starting off fast with Slater hitting a springboard dropkick of all things. A double suplex puts Jimmy down and we hit a quick armbar on the Uso. Back to McIntyre who gets kicked in the face, allowing for the hot tag to Jey. The Superfly Splash is good for the pin on Drew at 2:20. Absolutely nothing here.

Los Matadores are in the back with Renee Young when Torito comes in. Apparently he’s horny and might gore Renee in the knees. She is WAY too talented for this.

Bella Twins/Eva Marie vs. Aksana/AJ Lee/Tamina Snuka

Tamina starts with a Samoan Drop to Nikki before it’s off to AJ for a guillotine choke. Nikki slams her down and brings in Brie to clean house. Tamina will have none of that though and runs over Brie and Eva, only to miss the Superfly Splash. Eva tags herself in and steals the pin on Tamina at 2:45. I really think WWE expects us to care about this.

Here are HHH and Stephanie to call out Big Show. The giant trades a few jabs with them before saying this isn’t about money, but rather just wanting his job back. Stephanie gives it back to him so Big Show starts a YES chant. Oh and he wants a huge bonus too. He doesn’t want money though, but rather to be the face of the WWE since he’s been here 18 years (It’s 14. He debuted 18 years ago). This brings out Shield and we take a break.

Post break Big Show tells HHH to tread lightly because of what he’s got hanging over HHH’s head (the lawsuit I believe?). Big Show demands a title shot at Survivor Series but HHH gets in his face and threatens to leave Big Show laying if he doesn’t drop it. Big Show leaves but threatens to sue WWE for ownership of the company. HHH gives him the title shot after Big Show makes him say it four times. On top of that, HHH makes a match right now.

Big Show vs. Shield/Randy Orton

Show is in a suit and Orton’s music hits at 11:04pm. The four of them swarm Big Show and there’s a spear about 15 seconds into the match. Shield beats him down and Orton tells them to pick him up. Show fights out of an attempted TripleBomb and chokeslams Reigns down. The other Shield guys are taken down by a double suplex, leaving us one on one.

This brings out Kane in a suit with some very short hair (the look really works for him actually) for a distraction, allowing Seth to hit a top rope knee to the head. The RKO connects but Orton wants a chair, drawing the DQ at 3:07. If you’re expecting a rating you haven’t been paying attention.

Post match Orton wants Big show put through the table. The TripleBomb (not a bad looking one either) through the table ends the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This is a REALLY tough one to grade. I actually liked most of the wrestling tonight which kept some stories going and came off more like an episode of Smackdown in a good way. On the other hand though, there’s everything else. To begin with, the constant plugging of everything on the planet is annoying, though understandable. WWE is a business after all and they need to shill stuff. I can live with that.

Then there’s the stuff that you might have noticed getting on my nerves tonight. Above all else, there’s the commentary. It has reached the point where it’s making good matches a misery to sit through because of how unbearable it is. Cole, JBL and Jerry aren’t funny and have the most unnaturally forced “chemistry” I’ve ever heard. They spend WAY too much time on unfunny jokes that most people aren’t going to get and even fewer people are going to care about at all. It needs to stop and stop soon. I understand the idea of trying to sound like people watching the show, but it’s not working in the slightest.

Finally there’s the story that dominated the show. This Big Show vs. HHH story is just not working and a lot of that is due to the overuse of the lawsuit idea in recent months. I can probably come up with four different instances of someone in WWE suing someone else in the last year and a half. That’s reaching the level of stable wars in TNA and that’s not good.

We had to sit through video package after video package about Big Show being suspended and then he just strolls into the arena, making the rest of the show a waste of our time. That’s not going to get people to watch and it’s hard to sit through. Good wrestling, bad everything else tonight.

Results

CM Punk b. Luke Harper – Rollup

Ryback b. Great Khali – Meat Hook

Alberto Del Rio b. Kofi Kingston – Cross armbreaker

Randy Orton b. Big E. Langston – RKO

Tyson Kidd/Natalya b. Summer Rae/Fandango – Sharpshooter to Fandango

John Cena/Goldust/Cody Rhodes b. Real Americans/Damien Sandow – Final Cut to Cesaro

Usos b. 3MB – Superfly Splash to McIntyre

Bella Twins/Eva Marie b. Tamina Snuka/AJ Lee/Aksana – Rollup to Snuka

Big Show b. Randy Orton/Shield via DQ when Orton and Shield used chairs

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Taboo Tuesday 2005
Date: November 1, 2005
Location: iPayOne Center, San Diego, California
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler

We’re back for the final one of these Tuesday shows before we switch to the traditional Sunday. This is again a Raw show and is based around Cena vs. Angle vs. a person the fans will pick. The other good match on here is HHH vs. Flair for the IC Title where you pick the stips. Flair begged for it to be a cage match so what do you think was picked? Other than that there’s an interesting deal with Austin that we’ll get to later on. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about having power, which involves being a military general for some reason.

Edge and Masters come out before we had a chance to even have Jerry and Joey say who they are. Todd Grisham is the host just like last year. This is Raw vs. Smackdown and we get to pick the two Smackdown guys to be in the match. The choices are Christian (his contract was up and he showed up here and I think tomorrow on Raw as a courtesy before heading to TNA for about four years), Matt Hardy, Hardcore Holly, JBL and Rey Mysterio with Matt and Rey winning by wide margins.

Matt Hardy/Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Masters/Edge

This was during the Hardy vs. Edge war. Masters was a monster at this point but didn’t mean much. The keyboard on the stage is all random and isn’t anywhere near what a traditional one looks like. Rey as the hometown boy gets a huge pop. Something I hadn’t realized: Eddie died 12 days after this. Edge says he has nothing to prove here so he’s not wrestling.

Matt Hardy/Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Masters/Snitsky

Yeah this isn’t a bait and switch in the slightest. We have two referees in there too which is kind of odd. Rey gets a small package and both go for counts, resulting in an argument. It’s weird hearing commentators say last night and refer to Raw. Rey goes for that body scissors into the bulldog and they botch it. My guess would be Masters botched it but whatever.

Matt comes in to a bigger pop than Rey got which is really weird. Side Effect is called a Uranage by Joey. Matt kind of botches a top rope something and it turns into a DDT for two. This is sloppy beyond reason. Maybe it’s the Tuesday thing but with two of them being Smackdown guys this should be normal for them. I’m not sure if I get the idea of bringing in Smackdown but whatever.

Joey is only here for one night since Coach is wrestling and JR was fired due to some overly complicated storyline involving the McMahons that we’ll get to later. Now the fans want Christian. Dang they’re greedy in San Diego. Matt is working the majority here to set up the hot tag to Rey. There it is and Rey cleans house. Well most of it at least since he can’t reach the top shelves.

Masterlock goes onto Rey though and Rey is in trouble. He kicks off the corner and lands on Masters for a cover but the referees mess things up again. A pair of top rope dives take out the heels and a springboard sunset flip gets two. Masters does a spinning rack into a neckbreaker which is a move I’ve always kind of liked. 619 into the Twist of Fate into a springboard splash ends this.

Rating: C+. Not a great match but for an opener this worked pretty well. Rey and Matt are both popular guys and got the crowd going rather well. Edge not being in there is kind of crap and the double referee thing was overkill for sure. They really messed up with Matt though as he could have been a big deal but they just botched it. Not bad though.

Foley is in the back with Maria who is in his Mankind mask and he’s got her lingerie for later. Nudity allegedly ensues.

Ah apparently Edge was legit injured. If that happened on Raw or something that’s fine then.

Time to pick Eugene’s Legend partner. The choices are Kamala, Snuka and Duggan with the guy that dove off a cage winning barely over Duggan. I’m not bothering with the percentages this time.

Rob Conway/Tyson Tomko vs. Eugene/Jimmy Snuka

Conway was a cocky guy with a legend hating gimmick which was dumb since Orton had just gotten done doing that. So is the mentally slow guy supposed to carry this team? Snuka looks out of shape here, nearly three and a half years before he was at Mania last year. Eugene and Tomko start us off and we’re already into the comedy portion as Eugene does the one hand up one hand down routine for the Test of Strength.

Conway wears his sunglasses during the match. Ok then. Eugene and Conway were more or less the most dominant tag team in the history of OVW, winning like 9 tag titles. Jimmy is going to be on the outside for the most part here due to a high level of old. There’s the hot tag to him anyway and Snuka just looks confused. Then again he looked that way in his prime.

The faces play ping pong with Conway using headbutts. Eugene hits a Rock Bottom and the splash ends it after about 15 seconds of setting up. Tomko gets back from writing his novel or whatever he spent the last few minutes doing and Kamala and Duggan make the save. At least they kept it short.

Rating: D. This was a bad match but what did you expect? We knew Snuka would win with the splash but seriously, was Tomko the best they had available as a partner? He had nothing to do with this feud or angle or anything like that. This was a glorified handicap match that just wasn’t interesting at all. Like I said though, at least it was short.

Ad for the Taker Tombstone DVD, which I’ve never seen.

We determine which persona Foley will fight Carlito in. Mankind more or less dominates it, setting up this.

Carlito vs. Mankind

As Carlito makes his debut they plug Survivor Series in Detroit and they spell Joe Louis Arena as Joe Lewis instead. I know this place was bad back in this era but come on now. Foley had been a guest on Carlito’s Cabana and said Carlito wasn’t cool. This did result in us getting one of Foley’s awesome morphing promos where he starts as Love then shirts to Jack and then Mankind, which shows just how versatile Foley is.

Carlito is just such a waste of talent. He could have been awesome but was so painfully lazy in the ring that there was no choice but to get rid of him. It’s all Foley to start and we go to the floor. Foley even throws in a baseball slide of all things. Carlito takes over by slamming Mankind’s head into a chair and we’re clearly in a formula here which is ok.

Double clothesline and both guys go down. Mankind starts Social Outcasting Up and a Cactus Clothesline takes us to the floor where we get an elbow on top of that. Double Arm DDT and Socko end this. It never ceases to amaze me how Foley can use like 5 moves and have such a successful career.

Rating: D+. Pretty bad match here and I’m not sure if I get the idea of having Carlito job to a guy with Foley’s stature. I know Foley has had matches that mean more than Carlito’s entire career but I’m not sure I get the logic behind him going over. Although to be fair, the idea of Carlito pinning Mick’s corpse just sounds wrong. Maybe this was the right idea after all.

Vince arrives and wants to hear about the Raw vs. Smackdown match of all things. He jumps down Eric’s throat for losing the match and Eric blames Teddy Long who is relatively new as GM of Smackdown. Vice yells at him and tells him to get it together.

We pick the third guy in the main event tonight: Kane, Big Show or Shawn. Gee I wonder who is going to win this. Kane gets a surprising 38% but it pales in comparison to Shawn’s 46. Kane and Show get a lovely parting gift.

Raw Tag Titles: Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Big Show/Kane

Few quick notes here. Joey says they’re two tough Texans but are billed from Nashville. Also Lillian says they weigh 501. Not 501 pounds but just 501, as in she said five oh one. Not even five hundred and one. Just weird. Show has a beard here and Lillian slips up on HIS intro too. What is going on here? Murdoch starts with Kane and isn’t happy about it.

This is one sided so far and now I’d expect that to change just as I say it. Murdoch kicks Show a bit and that doesn’t work in the slightest. Can Show do anything other than chop? Kane goes for a big boot and somehow manages to hit Cade in the lower back. How are there so many mistakes in one single show? Murdoch shoves Kane to the floor off the top to finally give the champions an advantage.

Kane gets beaten down for awhile and then sits up just because he can. The champions just can’t threaten Show and Kane in the slightest. Show comes in to a lukewarm tag and after some domination, a double chokeslam to Cade ends this. Show gets interviewed afterwards but has to stop for a double chokeslam on Murdoch for fun.

Rating: D+. The lack of drama really hurt this as it was painfully obvious that the titles were changing. Like Kane and Show had any chance of losing here. I mean really did you expect otherwise? This was one of the staples of the show but it became pretty clear nothing would happen from it. Their reign lasted like 5 months and the next reign after theirs would end at the next one in this series.

Vader and Goldust are here. I guess I better explain since I’m going to have to in a bit anyway. So Ross had been fired for laughing at Austin stunning the McMahons at Raw Homecoming and Linda of all people fired him. Austin was going to have a match for Ross’ job against Coach (who brought in Vader and Goldust for no apparent reason to help him) and was booked to lose.

He left, not to be seen again for about five months. Batista was brought in and the Ross aspect was dropped. The firing (Ross actually was having health problems) was why Joey was here also. He would call Raw until May when he did a worked shoot where he bashed WWE, resulting in him taking over as commentator for the revived ECW the following June.

The Fantasy Battle Royal for the Divas will be in lingerie of course.

We recap the Austin being replaced by Batista thing where Austin leaving was blamed on an “accident”.

The choices are street fight, arm wrestling or verbal debate. Moving on.

Batista vs. Jonathan Coachman

Vader and Goldust are just with Coach here and aren’t actual participants. Vader is embarrassingly fat here. The street fight breaks 90% which is relatively low all things considered. Batista is Smackdown Champion here as if we needed any more assurance of the destruction here. The lackeys are in the ring too but it’s not like it really matters. This is back when Batista is still one of the hottest things in the world and just a freaking machine.

Goldust gets a kendo stick and beats up Big Dave with it and coach grabs a belt from the timekeeper. Batista gets loose after being whipped and it’s whipping time all over again as Batista of course destroys everything in sight, even managing what was supposed to be a spinebuster on Vader but he’s just too fat. Batista gets him up the second time though and it’s decent considering the size of that fat. Batista Bomb kills Coach to end it.

Rating: N/A. Given one week to set this up, this was about as good as it was going to get. Batista is no Austin, but then again who is? At least they got a big star to fill in which is as nice as they could have done. This was all on Austin and WWE did what they could for once, which is a very rare sight for them.

Shawn, who has won the main event vote twice in a row now, says he’s going to win. Angle, looking like he’s physically ill, comes up and says they don’t like each other but they agree they don’t like Cena. An alliance is offered and Shawn says he’ll think about it.

Raw Women’s Title: Battle Royal

Trish Stratus, Ashley Massaro, Mickie James, Maria, Candice Michelle, Victoria

They’re in lingerie and Trish comes in as champion. Mickie is brand new here and crazy/lesbian to an extent. The fact that they’re usually in lingerie makes this kind of stupid but Trish in underwear never gets old. What kind of battle royal has six people in it? Mickie saves Trish and there’s of course no flow or structure to speak of here. Joey says you have to go over the top and Maria of course goes through the ropes to get rid of her.

Candice does her stupid Go Daddy dance on the apron and Ashley drills her and we’re down to four. Victoria puts Ashley out and this needs to end. And then after Mickie saves Trish a few times she and Victoria go out at the same time. This was awful. Mickie steals the interview time by saying how great Trish is. She was really good at this psycho girl.

Rating: N/A. This was about the girls being hot and that pretty much worked but considering the clothes they usually wear, this is nothing special.

For buying Taboo Tuesday you get a month free of 24/7 online. Not bad.

We recap HHH vs. Flair. HHH had been gone after losing a Cell match vs. Batista. He came back for a tag with Flair and of course turned on him afterwards. The explanation was that HHH gave Flair another chance at greatness but it was only by association. That makes sense and is a solid reason for a match. Simple stories sometimes are the best choices and this is a prime example of that.

Flair begged to make this a cage match and of course that’s what it is. The other options are one fall to a finish, as in a regular match, submission or cage. Cage of course breaks 80% to win.

Intercontinental Title: Ric Flair vs. HHH

Flair is champion here and while HHH said it was mediocrity for Flair, he doesn’t mind trying to win the title. Some have called this Flair’s last great match, although I think that was before the Shawn match at Mania. It’s pin/submission/escape here. HHH sits on top of the cage to do the water spit. For some reason I can’t take this serious as a blood feud considering Flair is all in pink. Ah good the tights are black and the boots are red. I can live with that.

Flair drops a very audible F Bomb and says give me your best freaking shot. Chops vs. punches begin here and HHH is in trouble, although it’s a minute in so far. Flair can really only throw chops here but then again it’s relatively early in it. He’s the first one to go into the cage and he’s of course busted badly. I love when he’s on the mat and screaming for mercy. It’s hilarious for some reason.

HHH rakes his face across the steel and is in complete control here. With Flair leaning against the cage, HHH hits a running splash. Yes that’s correct and it looked painful. Flair is bleeding a gusher and the fans begin to cheer for him. Both guys get crotched as Flair stops HHH from leaving. HHH gets a chain from somewhere which I think he had stashed on the cage.

It’s been about 80/20 HHH in control thus far. Flair can curse with the best of them. HHH gets the Figure Four on Flair as this is probably going to go for a long time. The third F Bomb in about twelve minutes is uttered and Flair gets to the ropes for the break. Yep in a cage match. I can’t stand rules like that at times. HHH gets busted open and it wakes Flair up somehow.

This is a bloodbath for the most part and some idiot has to chant boring despite this being a good match so far. Flair goes after the bad knee of HHH that was torn up in 2001. Flair gets the Figure Four and HHH is in trouble. There is blood EVERYWHERE. Flair looks horrible as the hold is broken. He hits the top rope shot, which is a jumping chop/punch.

Flair almost gets out but is stopped, not before he gets a chair though. He did this last year and I never got why. Flair grabs HHH by the balls to stop a beatdown though. That’s always an odd move. Some chair shots to the head of HHH and Flair actually wins this clean. He looks mostly dead but he won it.

Rating: B. I can’t go higher than that for some reason but this was a great match. It was old school Flair here as he just went insane to beat HHH here which isn’t something you see out of him in this era. This was a very old school style match where it was more about violence than escape or anything like that.

The idea was for Flair to get one last hurrah, but it kind of makes HHH look pathetic that he can’t beat Flair at this age. Still though, by far the best match of the night. HHH gets cheered as he’s carried out.

Ad for the Mania Anthology, which really was awesome to have finally.

Raw World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels vs. John Cena

This is really about Shawn vs. Angle but they needed another guy in there I guess since Vince needs his triple threat. This is also about starting up Cena vs. Angle since Jericho retired and that was the big feud for Cena at the time. This is Cena’s first title reign, having won it at Mania from JBL in what should have been a longer match.

This is also a very different Cena as he’s still kind of a glorified midcarder without the luster about him. Batista is by far the bigger star at this point and Cena could be the weakest guy in this match. He might not even have the STFU yet.

It’s your usual match to start us off as everyone controls for a little bit. The whole team up thing mentioned earlier is thrown out within ten seconds. Kurt starts throwing people all over the place and gets Shawn’s ankle. Finishers are countered early on and Cena gets some near falls. They double team him and the fans get hyped over it for the first time in a good while.

The destruction of Cena begins and he goes through the announce table. Angle and Shawn start hammering on each other as we’re REALLY into the formula part here. Shawn vs. Angle is always worth seeing though so I can’t complain at all here. They do their usual great match for about five minutes while Cena regains life on the floor. Running Angle Slam from the top gets two.

Cena pops back up and cleans house with those shoulder blocks. I love moves like those where you just throw yourself into the other person. How can you block something like that? Shawn takes over now and I’d expect Kurt to do the same very soon. Angle pops a belly to belly over the top in a great looking spot. Cena goes insane as he’s known to do but winds up in the ankle lock.

Two kicks don’t break the hold and the leg lace is on. Shawn of course takes the long way to break it up, dropping an elbow so that Cena is in the hold for like a minute straight. Kurt gets kicked and then Cena pops up for the FU on Shawn to retain. Good to see that ankle heel in less than 30 seconds.

Rating: B-. If there as a B- – it would get that. When a match’s longest segment is Shawn vs. Angle it’s pretty clearly going to be good. This definitely wasn’t bad but there was never any real drama to it as Shawn and Angle were clearly going to cancel each other out. This got the ball rolling on Angle vs. Cena which was the title match at Survivor Series. Good match, but the selling by Cena hurt the ending a lot in my eyes.

Overall Rating: D. This show was pretty bad. The cage match is good and if you’re a fan of old school style or Flair it’s worth checking out, but it’s an acquired taste. The main event is pretty good but it’s nothing we haven’t see a dozen other times. Overall, this show comes off as unnecessary.

Other than Flair winning the match which didn’t end the feud and the new tag champions, nothing of note comes out of this and the title switch could have been at any show. This just didn’t need to happen and wasn’t that good. It picked up a bit with the shift to Sundays but other than that it just never was worth the time. Take a pass.

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Smackdown
Date: November 1, 2013
Location: Tampa Bay Times Forum, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the first Smackdown after what I thought was one of the best Raws in a long time. We’re also coming off an eventful PPV which saw Cena and Orton win the titles, meaning there’s a good chance that Cena is here tonight. Tonight will probably have a lot more action rather than the mainly story driven show we got on Monday. That’s exactly how Raw and Smackdown should work if they’re going to have a single roster. Let’s get to it.

We recap Cena winning the title on Sunday.

Here’s Johnny for his first Smackdown appearance in a good while. During the entrance we look at Sandow’s cash in from Monday where he actually had me believing he would win. Cena talks about winning the title on Sunday and says that he and Smackdown are going to get real close very soon. He sucks up to the Tampa crowd and says the World Heavyweight Champion is here.

This brings out the Real Americans of all people with Colter thanking Cena for taking the world title from Alberto Del Rio. He says Cena has a lot in common with the Real Americans such as being a real American hero and supporting the troops, so Cena should join the Real Americans. Colter asks Cena to do the WE THE PEOPLE but instead Cena says you can’t see me. Cena says he sees three dumb people.

Swagger looks like Biff from Back to the Future so he should make like a tree and get out of here. Then there’s Cesaro with his giant swing but all Cena can see are his giant nipples. That leaves Colter, but Cena doesn’t have enough time to make all the jokes he needs. Colter looks like a cross between a drunk Yosemite Sam and the guys from Duck Dynasty. Cena says the Real Americans are the people in the crowd because this is the land of the free and the home of the brave, so everyone can look and sound like anything they want.

Cena tells them to get out of Tampa before violence starts, but here’s a ticked off Sandow before the Americans can respond. John gets ready to fight but Sandow calls him a hypocrite. He says you make your own way in America like he did when he stabbed his best friend in the back to win Money in the Bank. Cena has been handed everything since he got back which makes him a false champion. Sandow is still the uncrowned world champion and his purpose in life is to end the Cena era in the WWE. The heels get ready to swarm but Cody and Goldust come in to even the odds. Vickie, tag match, main event.

We get a Shield promo talking about how the Usos aren’t contenders and how they can beat any team on the planet. Roman is about to talk but Ambrose cuts him off, saying the US Champion and Rollins will prove Shield dominance tonight. The slow burn split has begun.

Shield vs. Usos

Rollins and Ambrose here. This is a result of the Usos helping make the save on Monday night. Jimmy and Dean get us going but Ambrose is quickly dragged to the Uso corner for a double back elbow to the jaw. Dean makes a tag off to Rollins but is easily taken down for a knee drop. Rollins trips Jimmy down though and stomps away as Shield takes over. Seth charges into a backdrop over the top and out to the floor, only to have Ambrose tag him on the way down.

Jey is sent to the floor as well so Roman goes after him. Cue Big E. Langston to stare him down as we take a break. Back with Ambrose holding a chinlock on Jimmy before it’s back to Rollins for a running forearm in the corner. Seth goes to the middle rope but dives into a right hand, allowing for the double tag off to Dean and Jey.

The running Umaga attack in the corner gets a quick two and a jumping kick to the face gets the same. Rollins comes back in and gets caught in a spinebuster. A double superkick knocks Reigns off the apron and as JBL puts it, “WE GOT A FLYING SAMOAN!” Back inside and Jey dives over Amborse into a rollup for the pin at 6:44 shown of 10:14.

Rating: C+. As usual the Usos are good for a solid performance in a tag match. Shield continues to have problems but it could still be awhile before they split. The good thing about them is you can mix up the combinations to keep the story going even longer like they did here. Nice match to open things up.

Post match Shield goes after the Usos but Langston makes the save. Reigns wants to fight all three of them but Rollins and Ambrose hold him back.

We recap the Shawn/Bryan segment from Raw. I still don’t think Shawn is coming back for another match but it’s possible. We also look at the Wyatts attacking Punk and Bryan.

Prime Time Players vs. Wyatt Family

Before the match, Bray appears on screen and says we live in a world of false heroism and he has the cure in the palm of his hand. Ashes, ashes, we all fall down. He stops talking and the Family is in the ring with Bray in his usual place. Rowan throws Darren around with ease before standing on his throat and removing the mask.

Off to Harper for a big boot and a front facelock while rolling around on the mat. Back to Rowan for a neck crank. Harper comes back in to knock Titus to the floor and puts on the front facelock again. Darren finally lunges forward for the tag off to O’Neil who cleans house. Young and Rowan fight to the floor but Harper scores with the discus lariat for the pin on Titus at 3:46.

Rating: D+. Just a squash here with the Wyatts getting to look strong before they head into their big feud with Punk and Bryan. The Players are fine in this role and can move up to challenge for the titles in a low level program if needed. Imagine that: actual tiers in the tag team division.

Darren takes Sister Abigail’s Kiss post match.

We look back at Kane joining the new regime and surrendering his mask to Stephanie on Monday.

Here’s Miz for MizTV which was supposed to have Shawn Michaels as a guest but we get WWE Champion Randy Orton instead. Orton says Shawn isn’t here because Miz is irrelevant and no one cares about his show. He wants to know why this isn’t a celebration of his 11^th WWE Championship because Big Show violated the previous one. Due to that knockout, Big Show has been banned from WWE for life. Orton asks Miz how that makes him feel but hits the RKO before Miz can answer. As always, Cole makes it sound like Orton asked for more water at dinner.

Dolph Ziggler shills WWE merchandise.

Bella Twins/Natalya vs. AJ Lee/Alicia Fox/Tamina Snuka

Nikki starts with Alicia and quickly takes her down before bringing in Brie for a Poetry In Motion clothesline. Alicia brings in Tamina for a nice clothesline to take Brie down as the heels take over. Off to AJ for a modified dragon sleeper followed by a guillotine choke. Brie fights out and makes the hot tag off to Natalya who cleans house. AJ comes back with a quick rollup for two as everything breaks down. Natalya grabs a quick Sharpshooter for the submission from AJ at 3:37.

Rating: D+. I guess we’ve moved past the Bellas and onto Natalya now. This is probably going to be the season finale when someone takes the title from AJ because we need to make sure book the wrestling show around a reality show. That being said, I’d take Natalya any day over one of the Bellas.

The Raw ReBound covers the end of the show with Orton’s celebration and Big Show knocking Randy out cold.

We get part of a sitdown interview with HHH where Cole reads from David Otunga’s opinion of Big Show’s lawsuit. HHH gets tired of hearing about it and bans Big Show from the WWE for life. This would be more interesting if Cole hadn’t told us this earlier.

John Cena/Goldust/Cody Rhodes vs. Real Americans/Damien Sandow

Swagger and Cesaro running to the ring like they’re on a battlefield is great stuff. Cody and Cesaro get us going with Rhodes taking over off a shoulder block. Off to Goldust with an elbow drop before it’s quickly back to Cody for a jumping knee to the face. That gets two as well and everything breaks down. We take a break and come back with Sandow working on Cena’s arm before handing it off to Cesaro for the same.

John hurricanranas his way out of what looked like a powerbomb, allowing for the tag off to Goldust. Swagger gets caught by clotheslines and something resembling Stratusfaction before being backdropped out to the floor. Back in and Jack hits a shoulder to the knee and Goldust is in trouble. Cesaro comes in and pounds away before sending Goldie to the floor for a clothesline by Swagger. Off to Sandow for some knees to the chest and a near fall. Back to Swagger for a front facelock as the fans get behind the gold one.

There’s a hard clothesline to take Goldust down and it’s back to Cesaro for a reverse chinlock. A gutwrench suplex gets two for Antonio and it’s back to Swagger as we take another break. Back with Cesaro getting two on Goldust via a suplex and we’re back to another chinlock. Goldust fights up and drives into the corner for the tag to Cena but the referee didn’t see it. I love that spot.

The Real Americans do their Vader Bomb into the double stomp spot for another two count. Goldust finally comes back with a quick DDT to Cesaro but Damien breaks up the hot tag attempt. Sandow’s chinlock is broken up and Goldust heads to the corner for a jumping back elbow which mostly misses. The drop to the knees and uppercut staggers Sandow but he still knocks Cody and Cena to the floor. A powerslam puts Damien down again and NOW we get the hot tag to Rhodes.

Cody comes in with a springboard dropkick to Sandow followed by the moonsault press (he’s gotten much better at that move) for two. Damien counters Cross Rhodes and makes a tag to Cesaro but there Cross Rhodes takes Sandow out anyway. The distraction lets Antonio come in for a 31 second Cesaro Swing to Rhodes for two. During the Swing Cena speared Swagger on the floor so there’s no one for Cesaro to tag.

The second hot tag brings in Cena who initiates his finishing sequence on Cesaro but the AA is countered into the gutwrench suplex. Cesaro loads up the Swing on Cena but Cena counters into an STF attempt. Antonio rolls through and hits Swiss Death, only to have Cody score with a Disaster Kick to the European. Sandow hits You’re Welcome on Cody but gets bulldogged down by Goldust. Swagger gets the tag and suplexes Goldust down before putting Cena in the Patriot Lock. Cena rolls out and hits a quick AA for the pin at 16:58 shown of 23:58.

Rating: A-. If you’re looking for an old school tag team formula match with a hot ending, go find this match immediately. Awesome stuff here with everyone looking good and a great heat segment on Goldust. If there’s anyone out there that can make someone look like a million bucks better than Cena, I’d love to see them, as he gave Sandow his best match ever and now made the Real Americans look competent. Great main event.

Overall Rating: B. Not a lot happened here but after Monday there wasn’t much left to do tonight. This show is reminiscent of some old In Your House shows: nothing special for the first parts but them an awesome main event takes up the last fourth of the show to save most of it. The opening tag match was decent enough and the other tags weren’t that bad so overall this was good stuff.

Results

Usos b. Shield – Rollup to Ambrose

Wyatt Family b. Prime Time Players – Discus lariat to O’Neil

Bella Twins/Natalya b. AJ Lee/Tamina Snuka/Alicia Fox – Sharpshooter to Lee

Goldust/John Cena/Cody Rhodes b. Real Americans/Damien Sandow – AA to Swagger

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

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NXT
Date: October 30, 2013
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: William Regal, Renee Young, Byron Saxton

We’re still in the Abu Dhabi era, meaning it’s still time for the lower level guys to shine on this show. That opens up a lot of doors as it’s hard to tell what the show is going to focus on. The strength of NXT has always been its ability to put the focus on anything at any time though, so hopefully this show holds up well. Let’s get to it.

Welcome Home.

Enzo Amore/Colin Cassady vs. Alexander Rusev/Sylvester LeFort

Enzo and Big Cass think LeFort and his Legionnaires are just like chicken tenders: SAWFT! I believe this is Sylvester’s in ring debut and the guy is in great shape. Rusev plows through Cass to start and hits a standing splash (think Vader) before pulling Enzo in as well. Sylvester wants a tag but Rusev runs him over as well before beating Cassady with the Accolade at 1:33.

The mysterious blonde comes back to look at Rusev.

The Raw ReBound is the big ending segment where Big Show returned after that whole two weeks away to have his life ruined.

Aiden English vs. Jason Jordan

English does his song on the way in and Regal admits to having a mancrush on him. Jordan jumps him to start as Renee lists off his other athletic accomplishments. For some reason they’re much easier to listen to coming from her than Cole or JR. Off to a sleeper with English singing a lullaby. Jordan fights up and gets two off a dropkick, only to get caught in the Director’s Cut (sitout cobra clutch slam) for the pin at 1:44.

English gives us an encore and has roses thrown at him.

We look at Corey Graves beating Adrian Neville last week and attacking him post match.

Neville congratulates Corey for last week but it’s just the beginning since Corey went after Adrian’s livelihood.

Video on the Abu Dhabi tour.

Paige vs. Summer Rae

Non-title. Paige stars fast by throwing Summer around by the hair and out to the floor. Summer avoids a baseball slide but hides behind Sasha to stop Paige’s momentum. Back in and Paige gets two off a sunset flip as Regal continues to awkwardly hit on Renee. Regal snaps back into reality as Paige uses a headbutt, thrilling the Brit. Sasha tries to interfere and gets thrown out as we take a break. Back with Summer sending Paige to the apron and having her legs swept out from underneath her to give Summer control.

They head back inside with Rae hooking a leg lock as Regal talks about some old girlfriend of his coming to Orlando next time. Renee goes into girly mode and Saxton reminds them that he’s here. Paige fights up and hits a standing cradle DDT for two. Some clotheslines put Summer down and a running dropkick does the same. Summer comes back with a nice spin kick to the face for two of her own, only to get caught in a quick Paige Turner for the pin at 6:12 shown of 9:12.

Rating: C-. Not bad here as I wonder why Summer didn’t have this match with Natalya on Monday. She’s more than capable of having decent matches like this but I was bored out of my mind from her Raw stuff. This was good enough but they need to mix things up with the title as Paige has held it for months now.

Post match Banks comes back and beats down Paige until Emma makes the save. Emma stomps away on Sasha in the corner and accidentally blasts Paige as the champ goes after Banks as well.

Tyler Breeze says it’s time to send CJ Parker back to the streets where he belongs.

Luke Harper vs. Kassius Ohno and Rusev vs. LeFort next week.

Tyler Breeze vs. CJ Parker

Parker chases Breeze around the ring before sending him face first into a buckle. A nice suplex gets two for CJ and a cross body out of the corner gets the same. Apparently there’s a small community in southeast Asia that worships Breeze’s hair. I’m not sure why but that cracked me up. Parker hooks an airplane spin of all things before headbutting Breeze down. He loads up a big palm strike but Breeze bails to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Parker suplexing Breeze down but getting caught in a quick powerbomb out of the corner. Breeze stomps away but stops for a picture. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Tyler goes up and gets slammed down. Parker hits some shots to the face and a side kick for two before the Third Eye (palm strike) gets the pin at 7:50 shown of 10:50.

Rating: D+. This didn’t do it for me. Breeze is great but Parker is just flat out boring in the ring. I know we’re supposed to get behind him due to the hair cutting thing last week but at the end of the day there’s nothing to him at all. The fans there don’t like him and I can’t say I disagree with them at all.

Post match Parker goes for Breeze’s hair but Tyler bails to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. If this is as bad as NXT gets, I can certainly live with it. There wasn’t much here but Aiden English is always fun and I can tolerate looking at Summer and Paige for ten minutes if you force me to. This was just a filler episode and that’s fine all things considered. Not a great episode but like I said, if this is as bad as it gets, that’s not bad.

Results

Alexander Rusev/Sylvester LeFort b. Colin Cassady/Enzo Amore – Accolade to Cassady

Aiden English b. Jason Jordan – Director’s Cut

Paige b. Summer Rae – Paige Turner

CJ Parker b. Tyler Breeze – Third Eye

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 31, 2011
Location: Philips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
Guest Stars; The Muppets

I’m not going to lie: I’m a diehard Muppets fan. I’m going to absolutely lose it when they come out and I don’t care who knows about it. As for the show, I really don’t care as it’s going to pale in comparison to all of the stuff with them. Henry vs. Punk is happening tonight and if Punk wins, he gets the shot at Del Rio in New York. Let’s get to it.

We open with Rock on satellite from earlier today. This is his response to Cena’s request for Rock to be his tag partner. Rock is pretty calm here. He says they both represent a generation and Rock (with some gray in his beard) says no. Why would he join up with the Fruit Loop Troop when Cena has been going after Rock for years?

However, the people started talking about how Rock had to do this. With that, he listened to the people and in that sense, Cena’s wish is coming true and at Survivor Series they’ll be a team for one night only. Also though, Rock is doing this so that Cena can witness what is waiting for him at Wrestlemania. The match is on.

Cena vs. Miz later.

CM Punk vs. Mark Henry

We get some exclusive footage from Vengeance, which is just the ring collapsing. They showed this on Smackdown ads last week but it’s called “never before seen”. So they don’t even watch Raw anymore? Before the match starts here’s Johnny Ace who says that if Punk can beat Henry he gets the shot at Del Rio. They probably needed to tell the live crowd that.

Punk tries to fight down the monster but gets caught in a powerslam for two. Punk sends him into the corner and hits a slingshot clothesline and the Macho Elbow for two. Alberto and Ricardo come down with Alberto giving Ricardo some specific instructions. Ricardo comes in and attacks Henry who shoves him off. That isn’t a DQ so Ricardo comes in with a shoe and that’s enough for the DQ at 2:35. That fits in the story so I can’t complain here.

Punk beats on Ricardo a bit and throws him in for the Slam.

THE MUPPETS ARE NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In two weeks, it’s the return of Rock to Raw. What is this, his third return special in 9 months?

HERE THEY ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s Kermit and Miss Piggy and I can’t stop smiling. They come up from behind a stage and are kind of cheered. Piggy calls herself the original Diva and that brings out Vickie and Dolph. Swagger says it ain’t easy being a plate of frog legs and a ham sandwich. Kermit tries to play peacemaker and says they don’t want trouble from Swagger and his mother. Piggy and Vickie get into a shoving match and here’s Santino to a pop. He announces himself vs. Swagger later but Swagger closes Kermit’s mouth for him. Kermit faints from a lack of air. Santino says there will be no Dolph in Jack’s corner tonight because he has to face Ryder. Kermit and Piggy say WOO WOO WOO You Know It.

Here’s Kelly for no apparent reason in….some kind of costume. She has a cowboy had and a sword. Kelly kisses Kermit and Piggy is MAD. There’s a Divas costume battle royal next.

Battle Royal

They’re all in costumes and I’m not going to list off what they’re all in. Eve is Robin, the Bellas rule all as Mario and Luigi. AJ is a chick from Mortal Kombat. The match of course is junk as are most battle royals. Natalya is in there as….some kind of queen I guess. Kaitlyn is Dog the Bounty Hunter and is out.

We’re down to Nattie, Kelly, the Bellas and Eve. Eve beats up both Bellas and Alicia is in this still too. There go the twins after a Stinkface from Kelly. Natalya tries a cover out of instinct which Beth got on Eve for earlier. There goes Alicia as well as Kelly, but Eve dumps Nattie for the win at 2:45. She’s #1 contender now.

The good chicks stand down the evil ones and the bad ones leave.

OFF TO MUPPET LABS!!! Bunsen Honeydew has a potion for Santino and sends Beaker after him. Beaky runs into Christian instead and the Canadian steals the potion, pouring it out. Sheamus pops up behind Beaker who now has his head stuck inside his shirt. Christian leaves and Sheamus fixes Beaker. Beaker talks to Sheamus…..who says he can’t make the family reunion, but tell Aunt Teresa he says high. Sheamus fixes Beaker’s hair to look like his.

Air Boom vs. Cody Rhodes/Wade Barrett

The bell rings after a break. Bourne vs. Rhodes starts us off but it’s off to Kofi about ten seconds in. Kofi hits kind of a spinning pendulum kick in the corner but gets taken down by Rhodes kicking the rope on a springboard. Off to Barrett (in dark gray instead of black) who hits a Bossman Slam and then a chinlock. Barrett actually throws some punches and it’s back to Kofi. Kofi is beaten on for a bit until it’s a hot tag to Bourne. He speeds things way up and counters Wasteland into a DDT for two. Everything breaks down and Kofi is sent to the floor. Bourne gets caught in Wasteland and we’re done at 5:22.

Rating: C-. I don’t get that at all. What is the point in having the champions lose clean again to a thrown together heel combination? The match wasn’t horrible, but why did they need to lose twice like that? I don’t understand at all and it’s book like this that makes the tag division and champions in general look weak.

Post match Christian comes out for some reason to help beat down Kofi but Sheamus makes the save and kicks Cody’s head off.

STATLER AND WALDORF ARE IN THE BALCONY!!!! Statler does the WHAT chant to annoy Waldorf.

Punk comes in to see Ace, who he makes fun of. Ace says Punk can have the title match, if he can convince Alberto to give him one.

Brodus Clay is here next week.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Big Show

Show pounds away in the corner and Del Rio is in trouble early on. It’s domination for the first few minutes with Del Rio only managing a few kicks to the legs. Show misses a charge but hits a clothesline to keep his momentum. Alberto grabs a sleeper which shifts into a chinlock. Show breaks it up and we head to the floor where Show pounds away on him. The bald one misses a charge into the barricade and Del Rio misses an enziguri which is sold anyway.

Alberto hooks a front facelock back in the ring but Show throws him off with relative ease. Both guys are down now. For some reason, Del Rio wants to slug it out with Show as they’re on their knees. Somehow Show is knocked down for two but he easily shoves out of it. Shoe sends him to the floor again and we take a break. Back with Del Rio working on the leg as this is needing to end soon. Speaking of that, Del Rio is sent to the floor and when he comes back in, he walks into the punch for the pin clean at 14:00. Another champion loses.

Rating: C-. The psychology was there for the most part but parts of this were way boring. Show is a guy you have to wrestle a certain way which I think Alberto did here for the most part. Not a bad match, but it needed to have about three and a half minutes cut out of it for the match to work.

Post match here’s Punk while Del Rio is still out cold. He pours water on Del Rio to take him up. Punk wants a clean answer and says before he gets that answer, Punk is going to put on the Anaconda Vice. There’s the hold and Del Rio agrees to the match. His mic goes out again but Punk shouts into the other one that HE SAID YES.

FOZZIE AND GONZO ARE IN THE BACK!!! They talk about how big the guys are and Gonzo says he could be a champion if he tried. Team Vickie comes up and pulls Gonzo’s arms through his shirt to tie him up, saying stay out of Ziggler’s match later. Gonzo is cool with it and Fozzie isn’t sure what to say.

Muppet Movie promo. Oh yes.

Animal is the guest time keeper for the next match. He’s as crazy looking as ever.

Jack Swagger vs. Santino Marella

Swagger beats him down quickly and does pushups on Santino’s back. The fans want Ryder. Swagger grabs the ankle lock but Santino rolls through it. Here’s Beaker with the energy drink to give to Santino. He winds up spitting it into Swagger’s face for the rollup pin at 2:37. Harmless fun.

Zack Ryder vs. Dolph Ziggler

This is non-title. Basic start with a missile dropkick missing and we head to the floor. Dolph is put down and we take a break. Back with Ziggler in control, working on the neck. A neckbreaker puts Ryder down and Dolph nips up. Ryder catches him in a slingshot and they slug it out. A flapjack puts Ziggler down and here’s the Broski Boot for two.

Ryder gets a double knee to Ziggler’s chest in the corner for the pin but Ziggler’s foot was on the rope. The bell rings but it gets waved off due to the feet. Zack chases him around the ring but Vickie interferes. A superkick puts Ryder down but he avoids the Zig Zag. The Rough Ryder pins Ziggler clean at 8:54.

Rating: C. Do they know if they want Ryder or Ryan to take the title off Ziggler yet? It’s really unclear at times but maybe that’s the point. You do have to give them credit for giving Ryder a push due to his crowd reactions lately. Not a horrible match, but they need to either have him win the title or move him on to something else.

We recap HHH/Nash from last week. It’s 10:47 and we have Miz vs. Cena and Cole’s Challenge to go. Doesn’t Nash have a contract already? Why would he need another one? HHH will be out five weeks and Nash has been re-signed.

Cole gets on the announce table and says Ross isn’t here tonight due to something regarding his bowels. Yeah yeah here we go again. Adult diaper jokes are made and the Challenge is moved to next week due to having too much on the show I guess.

Statler and Waldorf make fun of Cole but the laugh isn’t quite right.

Miss Piggy is rubbing Morrison’s abs and Morrison isn’t sure what to make of this. She hits on him but Morrison says he has a friend for her. It’s Horny, who now has a Piggy tattoo on his ankle. He kisses her but gets karate chopped for his efforts. Kermit comes up and Horny is in love. Cody comes in and bags Kermit. SOMEBODY SHOOT THAT MAN!!!

So yeah, no Cole vs. Ross tonight despite it being pushed harder than anything most of the week.

John Cena vs. The Miz

Statler and Waldorf make fun of Miz a bit. This has easily been the weakest part of the Muppet part of the show. We go to a break before the bell….at 10:55. The bell rings after 11pm so this is going to be short. Totally basic match so far and we’re over five minutes into it. There’s just nothing to say because they’re flying through it for the sake of time. Miz hits some of his basic stuff until Cena fires back with a big running clothesline which gets two. Cena hits a superplex for two and we head to the floor. A guy in a Scream mask hits Cena and back in the ring….it means nothing as the STF ends this at 9:00.

Rating: C-. Hard to fault them here because they had to rush things and the match didn’t mean much at all. Cena is always good for a quick one though, even though this would have fit better at a house show more than on Raw. For a main event though, especially for a fun show like this, I can’t fault it much.

Post match the Scream guy comes in again and takes an AA. It’s Truth.

Overall Rating: B. Ok now that’s likely high because of the Muppet involvement but they’re my reviews so who cares? The Muppets fall squarely under the category of “if you don’t like this at least a tiny bit, you have no soul.” This was designed to be a fun show and that’s exactly what it was. Rock/Cena was officially set up, the traditional Survivor Series match was planned and that’s all that needed to happen. The Muppets were fun and that’s all there is to this show.

Results
Mark Henry b. CM Punk via DQ when Ricardo Rodriguez interfered
Eve Torres won a battle royal last eliminating Natalya
Wade Barrett/Cody Rhodes b. Air Boom – Wasteland to Bourne
Big Show b. Alberto Del Rio – WMD
Santino Marella b. Jack Swagger – Rollup
Zack Ryder b. Dolph Ziggler – Rough Ryder
John Cena b. The Miz – STF

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This isn’t something that has me on my toes.Coming out of Raw, it appears that the title feud going forward will be Big Show vs. Randy Orton, with the two fighting at least at Survivor Series.  The idea is supposed to be that Big Show has lost everything, including his home and has nothing left to lose.  However, now he’s right back where he was, challenging for the world title and likely in the main event of a major PPV.  Let’s pause here for a minute and jump back to the 80s, in particular 1984 in Georgia Championship Wrestling.

Around this time, the top feud over the NWA TV Title was between Jake Roberts and Ron Garvin.  Roberts defeated Garvin for the title and Garvin of course wanted a rematch.  For weeks and weeks he begged Roberts for the title shot but Roberts kept saying no.  Finally Roberts agreed if Garvin could come up with $10,000.  Garvin didn’t have that kind of money so he mortgaged his home and came up with the money.  Ronnie won the title back in an emotional moment and was able to fix his financial situation.

Now compare this to the Big Show story.  We were told that Big Show lost everything, told that HHH bought Big Show’s house and told that Big Show was suspended.  Now Big Show is back, still with music, still coming down the entrance, still with new merchandise, and apparently still fighting at house shows and presumably at Survivor Series.  Where’s the heartache?  Where’s the reason for us to care about him?

The key difference between Big Show and Garvin: we saw Garvin being hurt by the loss and we’ve been told about Big Show being hurt.  Secondly, Big Show lost his house what, a month ago?  He’s been back with nothing to lose and hasn’t once even seemed sad.  There’s no reason to feel his pain and therefore, the story isn’t quite working.  It’s just Big Show saying he’s had problems but having it not change anything at all.  That doesn’t work.