On This Day: September 10, 2012 – Monday Night Raw: The Scariest Thing Ever On Raw

Before we get to this, I want to apologize in advance for the last hour of this show. My mind wasn’t focused on the show but I don’t think anyone was.

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 10, 2012
Location: Bell Center, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

There are two major things going on tonight. First of all, we’ll have the continuation and explanation of Heyman driving Punk away last week to end the show. The other is that Bret Hart is going to be in Montreal so you know the crowd is going to go nuts. This is the go home show for the PPV on Sunday so tonight is likely going to be a lot of pushing towards that show. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Bret to open the show. The fans give him a very long ovation and Bret talks about how dark that day in Montreal was. The fans got him through that time and he thanks them deeply. That’s about it and here’s Punk with less hair. Punk complains about Bret having a big ego and wants to know what would have happened if it had been him in Montreal instead of Shawn. Bret says Punk would have been in the Sharpshooter with his feet touching his head.

Punk says the WWE wouldn’t exist because he would have beaten Bret without Vince, then jumped to WCW and there wouldn’t have been an Attitude Era and the company would have died. Bret says that he’s the best there is, was and ever will be which gets on Punk’s nerves. Punk takes a jab at Lawler and in a bizarre moment, Bret defends Jerry. We get a clip of the end of last week’s show with Punk coming back and leaving with Heyman.

Punk asks Bret if Cena is here tonight and is going to save Bret if things get too heavy. Bret mentions the word respect and Punk goes off on him. Eventually Punk says he’ll put Cena to sleep on Sunday. Bret: “Just like you’re putting these people to sleep here tonight.” Punk says nothing else of note and we’re done. I’m not sure if I liked this or not. It was better than the Lawler stuff, but at the end of the day it’s the same thing he’s been saying over and over again.

Pick Brodus, Lawler or Orton to be Punk’s opponent tonight.

Antonio Cesaro/The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth

Cesaro’s five language word tonight is prestige. There’s going to be a battle royal on Sunday’s pre show to determine who gets the shot at Cesaro later in the night. Truth comes in pretty quickly and the tag champs clear the ring with Kofi hitting a bit flip dive to the floor as we take a break. Back with Cesaro holding Truth in a chinlock while Aksana lays on the apron and watches.

Off to Miz who hits the top rope ax handle for two. Such a shame to see a former legendary team like this fighting isn’t it? Truth comes back with a flying kick to take Miz down and there’s the hot tag to Kofi who cleans house. A top rope cross body gets two on Cesaro and Truth takes Miz out with the spinning forearm. Kofi gets rolled up for two but even a handful of tights only gets two for Cesaro. Kingston pops up and Trouble in Paradise gets the pin on Antonio at 8:10.

Rating: C. Just your run of the mill tag match here but it worked well enough. I’m ok with the champions losing here as it’s to set up the Night of Champions PPV, which means focusing on the champions by putting them in one match makes sense. Pretty decent match here and it’s nice to see the tag champions win a match.

We recap Sheamus and Del Rio’s stuff from Friday.

We go to a court deposition about the Otunga/Sheamus/Del Rio ordeal which involves Jewish and Mexican jokes from Sheamus. Otunga lists off some former victims of the Brogue Kick (including Daniel Bryan, making Sheamus answer every question YES in a funny bit) and we get some legal banter that belongs in a parody of A Few Good Men. Then Sheamus Brogue Kicks the camera and says let’s have a party, prompting him to belt out Hava Nagila. This was out there but it was certainly different.

Alicia Fox/Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. Eve Torres/Kaitlyn/Layla

Beth and Kaitlyn start us off and it’s quickly off to Nattie. Kaitlyn gets beaten down and it’s off to Alicia who hits a suplex for two. Off to Layla who cleans house before Eve tags herself in and hits the spinning neckbreaker for the pin on Alicia at 2:33.

AJ is looking a bit psycho when Punk comes up. He doesn’t like that Cena doesn’t have a match tonight and Punk doesn’t know who his own opponent is. He yells at AJ but she doesn’t back down. She leaves and Punk runs into Brodus who might face Punk tonight.

Orton wins the poll in a non shocking landslide.

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

Punk is in Hart colors which is a weird kind of respect I guess. The champ starts with his traditional headlock to shout spots into Orton’s ear but gets hiptossed down and we stall a bit. Punk stomps him down in the corner and hits a suplex for two. A chinlock stays on Orton for awhile but he fights up and almost gets the RKO. Punk bails to the floor and tries to walk out but Orton makes the save. Orton throws Punk in first so CM dropkicks Randy’s legs out, sending Orton face first into the apron as we take a break.

Back with Punk dropping an elbow for two on Orton. Punk goes up top but Orton channels his dad and superplexes him down. They slug it out from their knees and Orton takes over, but the Elevated DDT is countered by a kick to the head and the springboard clothesline for two. GTS and RKO are countered so Orton hits the backbreaker for two. Now the Elevated DDT hits but as Orton loads up the RKO, here’s Ziggler for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This was your usual main event style match which wasn’t bad but it’s also nothing great. I don’t think anyone expected this to be a classic or anything and the ending was pretty predictable, but that’s ok in this case. I’m not wild on the Raw Active stuff because it takes away the reason these guys are fighting, but social media rules the world anymore.

Post match Orton gets double teamed but Lawler makes the save. The four brawl as we head to a break, leading to…..

Randy Orton/Jerry Lawler vs. Dolph Ziggler/CM Punk

Back with Ziggler pounding on Orton in the corner and hitting a neckbreaker for two. Orton comes back with the slingshot suplex and brings in Lawler for a pair of middle rope fists for two. Ziggler dropkicks Jerry down as Punk looks bored out of his mind on the apron. It’s intentional boredom though so at least he’s doing his job properly. Ziggler drops some elbows on Lawler and hooks a chinlock as Punk still hasn’t been in yet. Lawler suplexes out of the hold and it’s hot tag Orton.

He cleans house but the Elevated DDT is countered and Orton is sent to the floor. Here’s Heyman for a chat with Punk but Vickie starts shouting at them. Punk ignores them and keeps talking to Heyman. Heyman hands Punk the title as Ziggler is pounding on Orton in the ring. For no apparent reason Cole has stopped talking.

A Fameasser is countered (we’re watching Punk and Heyman so the match is being seen in the background) but the RKO doesn’t hit. A rollup gets two for Ziggler but he walks into the RKO for the pin at 7:10 shown. Punk was never in the match and walks away with Heyman without caring at all.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad but it was more about an angle than a match which is fine in this case. Heyman was the talk of the internet this past week so him coming out here was what everyone was waiting on. This was definitely different which is what Raw has been needing for awhile now.

Punk and Heyman are walking in the back but we still can’t hear what they say. Matt Striker asks them what their relationship is and Punk says he’s a Paul Heyman guy.

We recap the hugging segment from last week in a package that aired on Smackdown.

Bryan and Kane meet in the back but they aren’t sure who sent both of them messages to meet here. Someone set the meeting up and Kane is mad to see him. It’s the doctor who wants to run a checkup. AJ asked the doctor here apparently because they have to trust each other before everything falls apart for them.

Heath Slater wants to face Ryder again after losing last week. Ryder pops up on screen and says he’s not facing Slater. Here’s the real opponent.

Heath Slater vs. Ryback

Slater gets in some offense but poses to the crowd too much. Clothesline, double powerbomb, Shell Shock for the pin at 2:07.

The Prime Time Players have whistles now and come in to see AJ. They aren’t the #1 contenders now because they have to beat Kane and Bryan tonight.

Daniel Bryan/Kane vs. Prime Time Players

Winners get Kofi/Truth on Sunday for the titles. Kane and Titus start things off with the bald guy jumping Kane. Off to Bryan who stays right with Titus to take over. Young comes in with a rollup for two and a double shoulder block from the Players puts Bryan down again. Yong puts on a cravate but Bryan escapes, only to get distracted by the fans. Titus comes in and walks into some kicks but he hits a backbreaker to slow Bryan down again.

There’s a chinlock which doesn’t last long and it’s back to Young. Something is going on at the announce table and the people are all looking at it. The word on the street is that something is very wrong with Lawler and it may be something along the lines of a legit seizure. That’s scary stuff man.

They trade uppercuts before Bryan gets caught in another chinlock. Bryan suplexes Young down but he won’t tag. Bryan misses a Swan Dive and it’s chinlock #3 in the match. Another suplex gets Bryan out of trouble but he still won’t tag. After kicking the tar out of Young, Bryan gets too close to the corner and Kane tags himself in. He cleans house and hits the top rope clothesline on Young but Titus breaks up the chokeslam. After disposing of Titus, Bryan tags himself back, only to get chokeslammed onto Young, sending the anger management buddies to Night of Champions at 8:30.

Rating: D+. The match was pretty dull but this was absolutely the right move. These two had gotten way too much momentum to not do anything on the PPV and it’s not like the Players can’t get put back in later. Not a good match, but it’s 100% the right move to make. Hopefully they win the titles and bring something fun to them again.

We recap the opening segment.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Tyson Kidd

Kidd comes out second which is surprising. Tyson almost immediately takes Del Rio down but can’t get the Sharpshooter. Del Rio hammers away but gets caught in a quick Sharpshooter. He gets the rope on the second try and almost immediately the armbreaker gets the tap out at 2:50.

Del Rio says he’ll win the title.

Cole says Lawler passed out at the announce table. They’re performing CPR and Cole is adamant that this isn’t part of the show. This is real based on everything I can find.

Sheamus vs. David Otunga

Cole isn’t saying anything still. Otunga jumps him to start and I don’t think we’re going to have commentary for awhile. Cole can be seen at the desk with his head on his hand watching the match but he isn’t saying anything. Otunga gets in an early shot but Sheamus pounds him down and the Cloverleaf gets the tap out at 1:28.

Sheamus hits the Brogue Kick post match. This brings out AJ who says….nothing because Booker interrupts her. Booker is conducting an internal investigation and if Sheamus uses the kick before it’s over, he’s stripped of the title.

This is very eerie right now as the show is basically operating like a house show because we’re not sure what’s happening with Lawler. This is legit scary.

Back from a break and Cole still isn’t saying anything. We get a clip from the tag match which I think is after Lawler collapsed. Yeah it’s the ending of the match with Kane chokeslamming Bryan.

The tag champs send out a Tout about keeping the belts on Sunday.

Kane and Bryan are with the doctor and are still arguing. The doctor says they passed a trial. Bryan didn’t appreciate the chokeslam but they won and that’s what matters. An argument breaks out out over whose name comes first in the team name. The doctor suggests Team Friendship, drawing a collective NO.

We get the rundown of the graphics for the matches on Sunday with no commentary.

Cole is back on screen and says Lawler passed out and was stretchered to the back. Lawler has been taken to a hospital in Montreal. He’s receiving oxygen but is breathing on his own. There won’t be any further commentary tonight. That might be the best idea. In advance, I want to apologize if the last part of the review is off. I’m not going to be able to focus that well and I apologize in advance. This is scary stuff and when you see it happen live, it’s hard to take in all at once.

Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes

The lack of commentary is eerie. Cody drops down twice early, getting hit once and hitting Rey once. Cody hits the release godrbuster but Cross Rhodes is broken up. They go back and forth for a bit with Rey hitting the sitout bulldog and taking out an interfering Miz before the 619 can hit. Miz’s distraction lets Cross Rhodes get the pin at about 5:00.

Rating: C. This was fine and when you consider how messed up these guys might be, that’s pretty impressive stuff. They have to get people’s minds off what they just saw and that’s not easy no matter what you do. The match was just a match for the most part and I guess they were trying to set up something for Sunday, which they had to do.

Post match Cody hits Cross Rhodes on Miz for no apparent reason. He holds up the title and I think that’s a challenge for Sunday which would be heel vs. heel.

Post break Cole tells us a bit more about what happened to Lawler earlier. Lawler was breathing on his own and now he’s more responsive than he was earlier. He’s reacting to lights being put in his eyes and is in the isolated ER, awaiting a CAT scan.

Here’s Hart for the closing segment. He brings out Cena and says that he sees a lot of himself and Shawn Michaels in Cena and Punk. Cena talks about how he’s nowhere near those two and he thanks Bret for the compliment. Punk isn’t like Shawn because Punk isn’t always himself. Hart wants to know what Cena is going to do to shut Punk up.

Cue the champ who is annoyed at the lack of respect. Cena calls Punk out and asks for a fight but Punk says Cena is the biggest phony in the company. Punk talks about how the two in the ring have been surpassed by people better than themselves, those people being Punk himself and Shawn Michaels. Punk says that comparison doesn’t work though because he’s better than Shawn. He’s better than Austin and Rock too. Punk says he’s the best at everything and his eyes are bugging out. Cena says Punk is right but that makes Punk a liar and a scumbag.

Cena talks about how Punk has spent a year watching PPVs go by and thinking that everyone is against him. Punk said everything on the mic and then became champion in Chicago, which made the fans believe change was coming. Then it became clear that Punk didn’t want ice cream bars or new talent or anything else. He wanted to be a star and that’s it. Cena mentions a line Punk said about becoming what he hated the most and that’s true. On the other hand there’s Punk who has no idea who he is.

Punk steals colors from Hall of Famers and stole the elbow from the late Randy Savage. CM has changed his identity over and over again over the years and right now it’s based around being champion. Cena stops to thank the fans for a bit and starts speaking French, drawing perhaps the loudest face pop he’s gotten in years. Punk yells at Cena for sucking up to the crowd and it’s time to get in each others’ faces. Cena says he’ll beat Punk up on Sunday so Punk pulls back to hit Bret, only to be stopped by Cena. Cena takes the shirt off and Punk goes for Bret again, only to get punched down and out to the floor to end the show.

Scratch that as Cole says Lawler is breathing on his own and his heart is beating on his own. He’s stabilizing and Cole gives us a recap of everything tonight. LAwler is awaiting a CAT Scan still.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a better show than last week but obviously that’s not what matters here, nor is the show on Sunday. Lawler is the important thing here and the updates coming in about him are at least somewhat positive. The last half hour of the show gets a total pass as you can’t blame the guys for their performance, nor is it important. The show built the PPV well enough, even though that’s not important right now.

Results

Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Antonio Cesaro/The Miz – Trouble in Paradise to Cesaro

Eve Torres/Kaitlyn/Layla b. Beth Phoenix/Natalya/Alicia Fox – Spinning neckbreaker to Fox

Randy Orton b. CM Punk via DQ when Dolph Ziggler interfered

Randy Orton/Jerry Lawler b. CM Punk/Dolph Ziggler – RKO to Ziggler

Ryback b. Heath Slater – Shell Shock

Daniel Bryan/Kane b. Prime Time Players – Bryan pinned O’Neal after a chokeslam from Kane

Alberto Del Rio b. Tyson Kidd – Cross Armbreaker

Sheamus b. David Otunga – Texas Cloverleaf

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Hell in a Cell 2010: The Last Smackdown Main Event

Hell in a Cell 2010
Date: October 3, 2010
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

This is being written the morning after the show aired so I do know the results beforehand. The two week “build” for this show makes me think it’s going to suck. We also only have five scheduled matches for tonight so there wasn’t much to set up coming into last night. The Cell should be enough to make the show draw is what WWE is thinking I guess but the buyrates would beg to differ. Let’s get to it.

Guess what the video is about. Just take a guess.

The set looks cool as it has a bunch of stuff designed to look like a Cell wall. I like that.

US Title: Daniel Bryan vs. The Miz vs. John Morrison

Apparently this is a submissions only match even though the name is just submissions count anywhere so it’s a bit misleading. Pretty clear Bryan is going to retain here even though he comes out second. Miz has the jacket back again too along with a mic. He’s called the Kenny Powers of the show and since he’s one of my favorite posters that’s a good sign. Miz says without him no one would know who the other guys are. He might be onto something there actually.

Both faces chase Miz to start us off and we get the standoff. Bryan gets a leg lock on him after a nice little wrestling sequence and we go to the floor without it being broken. That’s a nice little touch. We hit the formula of two guys fighting while the other is down. Morrison hits the Tarantula but Bryan makes the save. He then locks in Cattle Mutilation for like 4 seconds which probably blew up the IWC even though it wasn’t anything that special. A leg bar gets a bigger pop if that tells you anything.

Miz grabs a similar hold in an attempt to counter and they kick each other in the face a lot. Morrison hits Starship Pain (not called that for some reason) onto both guys to break it up. Haas of Pain (LOVE that hold) by Morrison is broken up by Miz. Corkscrew plancha hits (and I use that term VERY loosely) Miz and we head into the crowd. Miz gets a wristlock and Morrison breaks it up by punching Miz in the face. That’s always awesome.

Bryan is gone and in the ring for a good while here as the former tag team fights up the stairs. Miz gets a sick looking Dragon Sleeper type hold around a barricade and Bryan makes the save. I know I say that a lot but that’s what we’re getting a lot of: a hold for a few seconds and a save. We fight up to the stage a bit with Miz in control. Morrison throws Miz behind the stage and uses the barrier for a springboard to kick Bryan.

Miz literally shoves an anvil case at Morrison to take him down. This is kind of hard to call as it’s not quite a mess but there’s no flow to it in sight. Bryan is more or less dead on the stage after Miz shoves him on the anvil case. We get it: Morrison does some French training. You don’t have to explain it to us every 9 seconds. Skull Crushing Finale to Morrison on the floor and he’s out cold.

Bryan and Miz get into a wrestling sequence on the stage and it’s a double clothesline. Morrison is up somehow and climbs up the lighting grid and climbs onto the Cell set. BIG DIVE takes both of them out. How often do you get a THAT WAS AWESOME chant in WWE? See what happens when you have the young guys do their exciting stuff? Jomo gets a Texas Cloverleaf on Miz but here’s Riley for the save. A cameraman gets taken out giving us the eternally fun camera shot. Miz goes after Bryan while Riley has Morrison preoccupied and walks into the LeBell Lock for the tap out.

Rating: B-. Fun here but the quality was a bit weak. I absolutely don’t get the point of the submissions count everywhere aspect but it wasn’t horrible or anything. It was rather spotty at times but never boring which is the point of an opener. This was a pretty solid match and things seemed to work well enough. The big spots got the crowd going which is the best thing they could have done. Best possible choice for an opener.

Cole admits Bryan is for real. He toned down the Miz love in this match and it helped a lot. The repetition of stuff isn’t his fault for the most part though so I can’t blame him for that.

Ad for Legendary. I’m surprised this is the first one since we’re almost 25 minutes into the show.

We recap Orton vs. Sheamus, which really shows how stupid it is to have a Cell match for the sake of having a Cell match. Consider the first two matches. The idea of Michaels vs. Taker was that Shawn kept escaping Taker or having help from him. Shawn’s psychology in that match is some of the best ever as he was running the whole time and getting in shots where he could. It was like he was trapped in hell and this was Taker’s ultimate revenge.

The second was Mankind vs. Taker where the idea was they absolutely hated one another. The match happened so that they could absolutely annihilate each other and one man would not leave the Cell on his own. Those matches WORKED. This match is happening between two guys that aren’t fond of each other but are having this match because the schedule says we need to have it. Cena vs. Barrett could have a point to it as that feud has been going on for months. Taker vs. Kane belongs in there. This should be last man standing or a regular cage match or something, not Hell in a Cell.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

This Cell is taller and a bit more narrow. This stat sums things up very well: last year’s HIAC show was on October 4 so in one year we’ve had 5 Hell in Cell match. In thirteen years prior to that we had 16. That sums up this era better than anything I can tell you. Also tell me how this sounds: Sheamus is in a Hell in a Cell match. I like Sheamus but he DOES NOT belong on this level yet.

Another interesting stat: Orton is the only person to ever win the title inside the Cell. That’s rather surprising actually. Yeah they cover themselves by saying Orton is the only person to win the WWE Title in there. Unify the freaking belts already. Having two world champions is so freaking stupid sounding. Also there is a Hell in a Cell match second on the card. Does this just sound wrong to anyone else?

Loud RKO chant to start. I didn’t know there were so many old movie fans in today’s audience. Striker talks about speaking with HHH via e-mail. Holy subtle hint Batman! Yeah I’m stretching here since the first 15 minutes of this aren’t going to mean anything since this isn’t going to end quickly at all. We head to the floor for about a second and the stomping begins for two. NICE slingshot shoulder block by Sheamus to take out Orton.

Orton gets rammed into the cage on the floor and Sheamus breaks out the steps. Now Orton gets a shot with them and we head back into the ring. There’s no heat to this at all as it just doesn’t belong in there. It’s a glorified street fight with a cage thrown in for fun. Striker explains why the ribs are a good thing for Sheamus to go after since the RKO is a bit weaker if the ribs are hurt.

Turnbuckle is ripped off as Sheamus is in control. He gets a gutbuster onto the steps which have gotten far more focus in this match than the cage so far. And now, in a match based around terror and chaos and pain, we get an EVIL chinlock. Cole points out that Orton is the champion and Sheamus is the challenger. Well usually when one is champion the other is the challenger so at least he can follow basic concepts. He’s reached the level of an average 4 year old!

Orton makes his comeback and the fans get behind him again. The crowd is rather hot here which is a very good thing and is helping this match along. They want an RKO apparently. Backbreaker out of nowhere and Orton slaps the mat. Make sure there’s an orthopedic specialist in the building! There come the stairs again as Striker points out how stupid it is to use the steps when he’s surrounded by steel.

Orton counters again and hits a powerslam on the steps. IT’S NOT A SCOOP SLAM COLE! It’s good for two either way. The elevated DDT on the steps of course doesn’t hit but the one on the floor sort of does. RKO is blocked and Orton hits the post. This isn’t a bad match but it’s just boring for a Cell match. Make this a street fight and it’s far better. Irish Curse, the backbreaker, hits on the steps. It’s on Sheamus’ knee though so do the steps make that big of a difference?

Brogue Kick gets two and Sheamus’ face is AWESOME looking as his eyes bug completely out. A bunch of chair shots get two. A big chair shot misses and Orton gets the RKO to pop the crowd. The pale one rolls to the floor though so we don’t get a cover. Punt misses and there’s a second Brogue Kick on the floor. We’re just transitioning from move to move here with nothing in between it. RKO on the steps ends it. I’d buy that a lot more if Sheamus’ head actually hit the steps but you can’t have it all I guess.

Rating: D+. For a street fight this is about a B or a B+. For a Hell in a Cell match this is just ok at best. It was a street fight (and a good one) inside the Cell. That doesn’t mean it’s good for what it was supposed to be. This was supposed to be a huge war inside the Cell and by definition, hell. This wasn’t the case here and while the match wasn’t horrible at all, this should NOT have been a Cell match. Like I said, make this a street fight without the Cell and it’s VERY good.

Orton climbs the Cell afterwards and poses with the belt. Cole wants it renamed the Viper’s Playground. Striker in a near deadpan voice: “Not yet.” Striker is the voice of reasoning. That’s almost scary.

Ad for Bragging Rights ad. It’s in three weeks. OH JOY! It’s also the night after a Lesnar fight. Yeah that’s not going to bomb at all. Nexus is advertised for it too.

Josh has the NXT girls in the back and they’re asked if they’re nervous. Nexus interrupts them thank goodness.

Alberto’s ring announcer brings him out. Again, his announcer has an announcer. That’s saying a lot. I do wonder where they get these cars. Cole wants to have his babies I think. Lawler wants to know if he can push 1 for English. That was rather amusing for a change. Alberto talks about beating up Rey and Christian. Gee wouldn’t Rey vs. Alberto be nice tonight? Some basic hometown sports jokes don’t really work.

Cue Edge’s music as Cole complains. Striker says Edge has over a dozen championships. He has over two dozen but why play him up I guess? Yeah he’s a face now. Edge runs down the stupid things Alberto has done which are rather true. They get into a Spanglish argument of all things. A Canadian is arguing with a Mexican in an American ring. The first W is indeed correct. And here comes the All American-American. HE MADE THE SAME JOKE I DID!

Swagger points out that the mascot on Smackdown was in fact a human and not a real eagle. Could they please decide if he’s a serious or comedy character? Swagger jumps him and Alberto bails. We have an e-mail and this is a match now. The computer has been upgraded it seems. Edge has to make a public apology tomorrow on Raw but this is a match right now.

Jack Swagger vs. Edge

Good thing Edge was in his wrestling gear. Swagger dominates to start as he had an advantage before we started. Swagger goes for the ankle which makes sense twice because of Edge’s ankle injury and the ankle lock. He keeps Edge on the mat and is in complete control. We hit the apron and Swagger tries to hit a German to the floor. Add that to the international joke from earlier.

When that of course doesn’t work because it would nearly kill Edge he switches to an abdominal stretch using the ropes. Edge’s eye is swollen up. Ankle lock is attempted as we touch on the ankle injury again which Lawler almost sarcastically says you told us that already. Edge gets us to even but gets caught in the ankle lock on the floor. The running up the corner belly to belly is blocked as Edge hits a missile dropkick, which is a pure face move.

Kind of an odd match here. It’s certainly not bad but it’s not that great for some reason. Belly to belly by Swagger but his arm is hurt. Swagger might be bleeding from the mouth a bit. Vader Bomb misses and Edge gets the Edgecution. Spear misses and Swagger gets the powerbomb for TWO. I don’t remember anyone ever kicking out of that. I think they mistime something as Swagger goes for a Dragon Screw Leg Whip while Edge goes for an Enziguri, making it look AWFUL. Ankle lock goes on but Edge gets a quick counter and spear for the pin. That ended very fast after the knee thing so maybe they were just playing it safe.

Rating: C-. Nothing that great here but it was VERY refreshing to see a match between the two shows. This is a fresh match we haven’t seen before and it wasn’t that bad. It was far better than seeing the same guys fighting again as it actually wasn’t predictable. That’s something WWE is sorely lacking anymore and switching the rosters up dramatically could work wonders for them. Match was a high level TV match.

Otunga has a plan to help Barrett.

Recap the Nexus angle which I’m sure you’re all familiar with by now.

John Cena vs. Wade Barrett

If Barrett loses Nexus is disbanded. If Cena loses he has to join the Nexus. It’s kind of amazing that this is I believe his 5th singles match and his first PPV singles match. You can’t say they’re not pushing this guy to the moon. Long feeling out period to start us off here. Cena gets his dropkick for his first big offensive maneuver. Barrett drops an F Bomb but not an audible one.

We slug it out a bit and Cena sets for the FU but Slater comes out as a distraction. Barrett throws the Nexus out which is an interesting touch. Barrett controls and hits a second rope elbow drop for two. Their colors are now black and gold instead of black and yellow. Neckbreaker gets two as Barrett is finally getting to showcase his offense. This is already his longest match and it’s not even 8 minutes long.

Dueling chants begin and you can tell it’s mainly men shouting for Barrett and higher pitched voices chanting for Cena. Cena makes his comeback and he initiates his finishing sequence. Nexus surrounds the ring as the definition of interference is getting kind of shaky here. Big Show comes out and leads the charge of the locker room who come out to beat down Nexus. It says a lot when it takes about 15 people including Big Show to beat up four glorified jobbers. And it’s not jobbers coming out to beat them up. You have guys like Show, Kofi, Ziggler, Bryan, Hart Dynasty and MVP, as in former and current champions.

Wasteland is blocked and this is a pretty solid back and forth match. Also it’s good that they got rid of the Nexus about halfway through. FU is blocked and Barrett hits a butterfly suplex for two. Boss Man Slam gets two. Fameasser off the top is blocked the first time but Cena gets it for two. Barrett gets Wasteland out of nowhere for two. Cole is WAY into this. Lawler says something and I had forgotten he was there.

FU hits out of nowhere for two as we’re into the good part of this match now. STF goes on as Cena looks extra quick here. Cole is SCREAMING at Barrett to tap out. A planted fan runs into the ring, allowing the guy that appears to be Husky Harris to pop up and blast Cena in the head, allowing Barrett to get the pin and kill the souls of millions of children. This is likely Otunga’s plan, which he didn’t run past Barrett.

Rating: B. Solid match here with the ending working rather well. The Nexus wasn’t really involved all that much here and it helped a lot I thought. Barrett looked VERY impressive out there with a nice offensive moveset and solid ring presence. This was better than I expected and things worked very well here. Good match and it sets up some stuff for the show in the upcoming weeks. Also Harris and potentially another member joining is a good thing. Good match.

Nexus puts Barrett on their shoulders as the celebration is on. On a replay the fan that distracted things appears to be Michael McGillicutty but I can’t tell for sure. The fan that hit Cena was definitely Harris but he’s not named. Cena takes a long time to leave and various ages of fans are STUNNED.

Paper Jamz ad, the same from….two weeks ago.

Josh is in the back and runs into Paul Bearer. He cuts a short and cryptic promo about having his own master plan.

Make-A-Wish package from Smackdown.

Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Natalya

Michelle looks good in her gold shorts if nothing else. Striker tries to claim Michelle is the best in ring working woman ever. I’m not even going to make a joke about that because it’s not fair to make fun of people that stupid. Michelle dominates for a bit with leg based offence but Natalya takes over with power stuff. This is rather boring if you couldn’t tell. Michelle accidentally drills Layla and Natalya gets a rollup for two. Sharpshooter goes on, is countered into a heel hook and is countered again. Then Layla throws in her shoe for the DQ.

Rating: D-. Yeah I don’t care either. Boring match and not very good.

Recap of Taker vs. Kane which I’m sure you know by now also.

Smackdown World Title: Kane vs. Undertaker

Taker coming out with Paul Bearer just feels….right. They brawl outside of the Cell to start and Kane controls. Apparently this is before the match starts. Ah there we go. There’s the bell. Kane gets a chair from under the ring and beats the hell out of Taker. We fight on the floor again and this is more of a brawl than a match WHICH IS THE FREAKING IDEA. Lots of leg work by Kane which makes sense here.

A big boot eats cage though and Kane is in trouble. Taker hits the leg drop on the apron but Kane gets his low dropkick. The boo/yay stuff starts up as this is kind of a boring match. Old School is attempted so Kane hits him in the leg. Top rope clothesline connects but Taker grabs Hell’s Gate. Kane clearly taps but no one calls it. It’s not completely on and Kane gets to the floor to escape.

We get a double sit up and Taker’s eyes are awesome. More boo/yay stuff as neither can get control. Running DDT by Taker gets two. Chokeslam hits for Taker as his knee is fine all of a sudden. Kane does the same for two. Kane goes for ten punches in the corner, you know the counter, and it gets two as well. WOW that was a horrible powerbomb. Kane reverses a Tombstone into one of his own and the crowd is into it.

And there’s an uppercut for the slow counting referee. The referees come down to get him out so Bearer can slip inside. Bearer goes after Kane and Taker sits up. He gets another chokeslam and does the throat slit sign. The lightning and thunder kick on and a light comes out of the urn. Bearer shines it in Taker’s eyes and we have a standoff. Bearer of course hands it to Kane and Taker, like the idiot that he is, stands there and gets his head bashed in by Kane who hits a chokeslam to retain. A closeup of his face on the ramp ends the show.

Rating: D. Just like the previous match this was a horrible Cell match but not a terrible match overall. The problem again is the lack of violence and the lack of use of the Cell. However this one was even weaker in those areas than the first one, somehow making Sheamus vs. Orton far better. As I said that one would have been a very good street fight but this would have been boring no matter what.

These two getting 20+ minutes is just not a good idea. Their best match ever was two weeks ago when it was just a big freaking brawl. Them trying to have psychology in their matches and the leg work is always bad and this was no exception. For once though the heel turn makes sense so points for that. Seriously though, how stupid is Taker for trusting Bearer AGAIN? Did he say, “Hey Paul, sorry about that whole burying you alive stuff. We’re solid right?” The heel turn was logical here so I’m fine with that at least. Rating would have been about the same Cell or no Cell.

Overall Rating: B-. This show wasn’t great but it certainly wasn’t boring. They had a show here where stuff kept happening the whole three hours and it worked pretty well I thought. The double Cell thing is still incredibly stupid and them talking non-stop about how epic it was just made it worse but that’s to be expected. This looked like a disaster on paper but we got a solid show out of it. I don’t think it’s as great as people have said it was, but this worked FAR better than I expected it to. Fairly good show.

 

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Monday Night Raw – September 9, 2013: BRYAN DID IT!

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 9, 2013
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

We’re in Bizarro Land tonight with three stories for the show. First of all, Edge is back for one show only to promote the season premiere of his TV show Haven and likely cutting a big promo on what’s going on in WWE at the moment. Other than that we have Goldust returning to fight for his brother’s job against Randy Orton in a match that will be more interesting for the story than the wrestling. On top of that it’s the go home show for Night of Champions so we’ll get the final push. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Edge to open things up to a big reaction. He still has the short hair which is still strange to see from him. Chimmel even throws in an over the voice crack for old times’ sake. It’s the Cutting Edge which is back due to a request from HHH. The boss wanted to have Edge back to talk with his old partner. Not Christian, but Randy Orton. Edge however doesn’t see anything interesting in Randy Orton because Edge made cashing in MITB cool.

Orton is just a puppet who has Shield do his fighting for him. Therefore, Orton won’t be the guest tonight. The guest will be someone good for business (Edge: “Say YES if you agree with me”): Daniel Bryan. As Bryan comes out, we see a clip from the end of last week’s show with Big Show knocking Bryan out cold.

Bryan says having this many people chanting your name helps because he’s taken a lot of TripleBombs, a lot of RKOs and a lot of Knock Out punches. No matter how many times HHH holds him down though, he’ll be WWE Champion. Edge says Bryan deserves a fair shot at Orton and asks Bryan if he thinks he can beat Randy. Can he shove it in HHH’s face and become WWE Champion? Can Bryan become the face of the WWE? Bryan is about to say yes but here’s Orton for an interruption.

Orton calls it a shame that Edge can only get a reaction in a place like Canada. Edge thinks Orton acts like an entirely different body part than a face. The Ortons have a history of long running medical problems. Bob had a bad arm forever and Orton has no spine. HHH has made Orton his puppet. As great a mind as HHH has for the business, he’s flat out bad at picking talent. This brings out HHH but Edge cuts him off, reminding HHH that he (Edge) can’t get in trouble because he doesn’t work here. HHH has said that Edge, Chris Jericho and John Cena had no future so why should we believe what HHH says about Bryan?

HHH plugs Haven on Friday and admits that he was wrong about Jericho and Cena, but he was right about Edge being a failure. The bottom line is that the experiment of the Rated R Superstar was a failure because he never drew a dime. At the end of the day, the best way to shut up HHH is to prove him wrong. Bryan is going to get that chance by facing Dean Ambrose here tonight.

Since Dean will have Shield in his corner, Bryan can have Big Show in his corner. HHH says he isn’t a dictator, but Edge cuts him off by saying he earned his Hall of Fame ring instead of marrying into it. The boss says it’s easy to talk when you know no one can come down there and hurt you, but maybe he can hurt the ones Edge loves. Here’s Shield dragging out an unconscious Christian as we go to a break.

Back from a break with Edge storming in on HHH and Stephanie but Shield jumps between them. Edge wants to be cleared for one night only so he can take HHH apart. HHH wants to know who Edge thinks he is by storming into his city (HHH’s) of Toronto like this. He tells Edge to get out of this town and off of his show, threatening him with Shield.

Kofi Kingston vs. Curtis Axel

Non-title here. Axel hammers away on Kofi and hits a quick dropkick for two. Kofi flips out of a belly to back suplex and hits a spinning chop to take Axel down. The SOS gets a quick two but Curtis grabs the rope to escape. Axel heads to the floor but comes back in to pound on Kofi in the corner, eventually drawing a DQ at 2:14.

Heyman yells at Axel that this can’t happen on Sunday. Axel goes over to Kofi but gets his head kicked off.

Video on Goldust to hype up his match with Orton.

Medics look at Heyman’s leg in the back due to him slipping on some water earlier. I smell goldbricking.

We look at the end of last week’s show with Bryan vs. Big Show and Bryan being laid out. Again.

Booker T comes up to Big Show in the back and talks about everything that big Show wants to do to everyone tonight. Show needs to remember his daughter and his family when he’s out there tonight. He can’t let his pride make him make a mistake. Show says pride is all he has left.

Wyatt Family promo.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Bray Wyatt

That’s quite the upgrade for Bray. Wyatt pounds Ziggler down to start and shouts GAME OVER. Ziggler comes back with a dropkick but Bray runs through him as we take a quick break. Back with Ziggy fighting out of a chinlock but getting caught with an elbow to the jaw. Off to a reverse chinlock but Ziggler fights out and pounds away with everything he can throw. The dropkick and Fameasser gets two but Ziggler has to avoid the Family, allowing Bray to crush him in the corner. Sister Abigail gets the pin at 6:40. Not enough shown to rate but this was pretty much a Wyatt squash.

Video of Goldust’s comedy bits over the years, mainly with Booker T.

Heyman comes out on crutches, flanked by Curtis Axel and a guy who could be Damien Sandow’s twin but is actually a doctor. Heyman doesn’t care for the Canadian healthcare system, which is why he’s brought along his personal physician from New York City. Apparently Heyman has torn his meniscus or ACL from slipping on the water. Therefore, he’s out of the match with Punk on Sunday.

This brings out Maddox with the famed Dr. Samson for an official WWE medical examination. Heyman is told to sit in a chair for the knee examination and we have to see his bare leg. Fans: “This is awkward!” Samson checks all of the ligaments and Heyman says everything is very sore. The diagnosis is that Heyman is fine so Heyman freaks. This brings out Punk with the kendo stick and Heyman sprints off, meaning the jig is up. Punk beats up Heyman’s doctor for fun.

Brie Bella/Natalya/Naomi vs. Layla/Alicia Fox/Aksana

AJ is on commentary as Trinity starts with Aksana. The Rear View gets a quick two as AJ talks about the Divas Title being reality. Trinity goes up top but Aksana shakes the ropes to bring her down and take over. Layla chokes Trinity on the ropes and gets two off a dropkick. AJ: “I’m too old for you Jerry. I’m 26.” Trinity finally gets in a shot to bring in Natalya vs. Alicia. Nattie cleans house as Cole talks about AJ having a 25% chance of keeping her title. AJ: “Well I had a million to one shot at making it in WWE and I main evented Raw.” Point to AJ. Natalya hooks the Sharpshooter on Alicia for the win at 2:53.

Video on Goldust’s in ring accomplishments.

Alberto Del Rio vs. R-Truth

Del Rio easily takes Truth down to start but gets sent to the floor for a dive by the non-champion. The fans chant for the announcers as Del Rio catches Truth with the running enziguri to knock him off the apron. Back in and we hit the chinlock followed by a clothesline for two on Truth. R comes back with a leg lariat and the sitout front suplex for two of his own. Now the chant is for Undertaker as Del Rio hits a tilt-a-whirl slam. The low superkick and the armbreaker are good for the win for the champion at 3:50.

Rating: D+. Just a squash here to set up Del Rio for the title defense on Sunday but it was better than expected. It can’t be a good sign when Del Rio beating a jobber to the stars is a big win for him though. A champion of any kind shouldn’t need a win like this going into a PPV. It’s not a good sign for the booking leading into the title defense.

There’s a five team Tag Team Turmoil match with the Real Americans, the Usos, 3MB, Prime Time Players and Tons of Funk for the #1 contendership this Sunday.

Zeb Colter thinks Canada is a bad neighbor but they can all be saved if they start caring about more than hockey.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino Marella

Cesaro takes him down with a dropkick as soon as the bell rings. A clothesline puts Santino down but he comes back with his strikes as Cole talks about Marella’s Battle Arts Academy. Cesaro will have none of this though and hooks a giant swing with a TON of revolutions. As in this goes on for like 30 seconds. It’s STILL going!

Cesaro throws him down after almost a minute straight of spinning but Santino comes right back. The saluting headbutt sets up the Cobra but Cesaro uppercuts him down for two. A running European uppercut in the corner gets two and Cesaro starts slapping him. Santino comes back with a throw and gets the pin at 3:45.

Rating: F. Not for the wrestling but for the stupid booking. We announce Cesaro for a big PPV match and have him do the awesome giant swing, but the comedy goof is back so we have to give him a win for no apparent reason. Either A, wait until after the PPV match or B, USE SOMEONE ELSE. Put a 3MB guy in there (only two will be in the PPV match) or Wade Barrett or someone else not doing something. Why waste a cool moment like the giant swing for the sake of giving a comedy guy a win? Because there’s no long term thinking in the midcard and hasn’t been for years.

Damien Sandow vs. The Miz

Miz takes over with a quick suplex but Sandow takes him into the corner with some shoulders to the ribs. Miz comes back with the top rope ax handle for two. Sandow avoids a low kick to the face and hits a quick Russian legsweep. The Wind-Up elbow gets two on Miz but he comes back with a kick to the leg. Cue Fandango for a distraction, allowing Sandow to roll Miz up for the pin at 3:49. I believe that’s Sandow’s first one on one win since June.

Rating: D. This was nothing at all as neither guy has anything going for them at all. I have no idea what it is that the fans love about the “distraction leads to a rollup” finish but it’s been beaten so far into the ground that it’s hit water. Miz vs. Fandango doesn’t do anything for anyone but at least it gives them something to do.

Goldust talks about Cody living right and how he wants to make up for his past failures by saving Cody’s job tonight. HHH interrupts and says he hopes Goldie doesn’t let them down.

Randy Orton vs. Goldust

If Goldust wins, his real life brother Cody Rhodes gets his job back. Kayfabe takes another bullet as Cole talks about Dustin Rhodes coming here and being given the Goldust character instead of just being a creepy guy who does this on his own idea. JBL drops the Crockett name to confuse most people under the age of 30. Goldust gets in some quick offense and knocks Orton the floor for a breather.

Back in and Orton pounds away but misses a dropkick, giving Goldust two. Orton fires off right hands but Goldust counters the powerslam into a rollup for two. Randy rolls to the floor to avoid Shattered Dreams and we take a break. Back with Goldust sending Randy into the steps but being sent into the post to give the champion momentum all over again. Orton gets two back inside and hits the circle stomp followed by a chinlock.

Goldust fights up and hits a bulldog out of nowhere to put both guys down. The sliding uppercut staggers Orton and Goldie rains down right hands in the corner. Goldust is looking really winded as he gets two off a rollup. Orton comes back with the Elevated DDT but the RKO is countered into Cross Rhodes for two. Not that it matters as the RKO is good for the pin at 14:54.

Rating: C-. Is this supposed to be surprising on any level? On the best day of his career, Goldust was an upper midcarder at best and he’s fighting the reigning WWE Champion. Goldust has never been close to Orton’s level but we’re supposed to believe he can come out of retirement and beat him here? He looked really winded near the end too which didn’t help things.

Post match Orton says he’ll shatter Bryan’s dreams at Night of Champions.

Stephanie “consoles” Goldust by reminding him of all the people he let down and calling him a loser. Oh and tell Dusty that she says hi.

Rob Van Dam vs. Ryback

Del Rio comes out and says that the people will be chanting ADR on Sunday. Ryback shoves Van Dam down to start but gets caught by a kick to the face. An elbow to the jaw puts Rob down and Ryback pounds away before hooking an abdominal stretch. Van Dam escapes and hits the step over kick followed by Rolling Thunder for one. The top rope front flip gets two on Ryback and the top rope kick puts him down again. Ryback bails to the floor to avoid the Five Star but Rob’s dive to the floor only hits barricade. Rob is crotched against the post (barely) for the DQ at 2:58.

Ryback Shell Shocks Van Dam post match.

Stephanie tells Big Show not to touch Shield during the match tonight or he’s fired. Big Show destroys a TV.

Dean Ambrose vs. Daniel Bryan

Big Show and Shield are at ringside. Bryan fires off kicks in the corner to start but Dean comes back with some chops. Daniel gets in some more kicks and Ambrose bails to the floor for a conference. Back in and Daniel kicks away even more before starting on Dean’s arm. The seated surfboard doesn’t last long as Ambrose makes the rope to escape. Bryan flips over Ambrose in the corner and hits the running clothesline followed by a single arm butterfly suplex. Bryan goes up for the headbutt, only to be distracted by Rollins and knocked into the apron as we take a break.

Back with Dean sending Bryan into the buckle but Bryan avoids a charge into the corner. There are the running dropkicks and the kicks in the corner followed by a top rope hurricanrana for two. Dean avoids the big swinging kick to the head but and grabs a rollup for two. Bryan slaps on the YES Lock but Ambrose gets to the rope. Bryan misses another dropkick in the corner and gets rolled up (with trunks) for two.

Dean loads up a superplex but gets crotched down into the Tree of Woe for more kicks. A belly to back superplex gets two on Ambrose as Big Show plays cheerleader. Bryan fires off more kicks to Ambrose but misses a charge and falls to the floor. Reigns’ spear hits the steps and Rollins’ dive hits the announce table. Dean DDTs Bryan on the floor and sends him back inside for two, only to get caught in a small package for the pin by Bryan at 14:08.

Rating: B. Good match here as you would expect from these two. Ambrose is MONEY in the ring and can have a good match against almost anyone. Bryan continues to be on fire with the crowd but the title isn’t changing on Sunday. I’m worried that the reactions are going to die down eventually but they’re still solid enough for now.

Post match Bryan avoids a charge from Ambrose and sends him into the tag champions. Cue Orton but Bryan hits the FLYING GOAT to take him down. Shield is back up though and beats Bryan down but Big Show gets up with a chair. Of course he drops it though as Orton throws Bryan back into the ring for the RKO. Big Show slowly walks up the ramp but HHH and Stephanie come out and order him to knock Bryan out.

Big Show doesn’t want to do it but Orton tells him to follow orders. Orton holds up Bryan for the punch but Big Show won’t do it. Orton throws Bryan down and takes too long yelling at Big Show, allowing Orton to hit the running knee to end the show. This would be the 1st consecutive show to end with Daniel Bryan standing up since he won the WWE Championship.

Overall Rating: C+. I liked this one tonight. It felt like there was an energy tonight that we haven’t had in a few weeks. Things are looking good for Night of Champions, but it feels like it’s going to be a filler show before we get to the next big show. Edge helped a bit but the Goldust match didn’t do much for me. The main event was solid though as Shield continues to have good matches every week. This wasn’t a great show but it did a good job at setting up the PPV, which is the right idea here.

Results

Kofi Kingston b. Curtis Axel via DQ when Axel wouldn’t stop attacking Kingston in the ropes

Bray Wyatt b. Dolph Ziggler – Sister Abigail

Natalya/Brie Bella/Naomi b. Layla/Alicia Fox/Aksana – Sharpshooter to Natalya

Alberto Del Rio b. R-Truth – Cross Armbreaker

Santino Marella b. Antonio Cesaro – Throw

Damien Sandow b. Miz – Rollup

Randy Orton b. Goldust – RKO

Rob Van Dam b. Ryback via DQ when Ryback sent Van Dam into the post

Daniel Bryan b. Dean Ambrose – Small Package

 

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Thought of the Day: A Simple Animal

A little on Batista.Think back to Big Dave Batista.  He was the face of Smackdown for years, he was a monster, he won a bunch of world titles, he was called the future in Evolution, he was the biggest star in the company for a good while……and there wasn’t much to him.

 

Think about it: what was there to Batista’s character other than he’s big, he’s strong, and he wins world titles?  Yeah he’s aggressive and an animal, but there really wasn’t any depth to him.  Here’s the thing though: that’s all you need a lot of the time.  Batista was a big scary monster who could destroy anyone that came at him.  How many people would stop flipping though the channels if they saw some monster like him powerbombing someone in half?  It’s a simple idea but it made a pile of cash for the WWE.

 

Simple is more sometimes.




On This Day: September 7, 2008 – Unforgiven 2008: What A Scrambled Web We Weave

Unforgiven 2008
Date: September 7, 2008
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 8,707
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz, Mick Foley, Jerry Lawler, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

We’re at the end of the Unforgiven series here and the most important thing is that we have a pretty unique concept to it tonight. This time, it’s based around Championship Scrambles for the world titles. The idea is you have 5 people and a 20 minute time limit. Whoever gets the last pinfall (I’m not sure if you have to pin the champion) before the time is up wins the match and the championship. There are three of them. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is all about the Scramble but then shifts over into Jericho vs. Shawn which is based on Jericho accidentally hitting Shawn’s wife in the face and setting up an unsanctioned match with them tonight.

ECW Title: Matt Hardy vs. Mark Henry vs. Finlay vs. The Miz vs. Chavo Guerrero

The guys come in on a random draw with Hardy vs. The Miz. Man who would have thought Miz and Henry would be the biggest stars out of this group? Miz is just a chick magnet here. You don’t have to pin the current champion (Mark Henry) to become the interim champion (best word I can think of for it). These two will fight for five minutes until someone else comes in.

Miz and Matt exchange some pinfall attempts even though they don’t really mean much at this point. The corner clothesline misses for the Chick Magnet and Matt gets a cool move in as Miz is caught in the corner and Matt pulls him out by his legs into a sitout powerbomb. It’s kind of hard to describe but basically Matt pulled him out of the air into the powerbomb. We get a history of Cameron, North Carolina which has like 600 people in it to fill time since nothing in the first 19:00 is going to mean anything.

According to Striker this is the brainchild of Pat Patterson. He also came up with the Royal Rumble so maybe this will be good. Miz hits the Reality Check but Matt falls to the floor. Eventually that gets two as Chavo is the third guy in. Ok so now it’s a triple threat for five minutes. Chavo hits a Frog Splash on Matt for the pin to become the Interim Champion very quickly. I don’t think he has to get pinned to change it but I’m not sure. Yeah it can be anyone pinning anyone so it’s like a triple threat.

Chavo busts out a rolling Liger kick of all things and then a suicide dive to further kill Miz. Everyone goes to one corner but Miz shoves them both off. He busts out a cross body to take out both guys, getting two on Hardy. Matt takes over and pops Miz with a right hand and a Side Effect to Chavo gives Matt the Interim Title. The fans are way behind Matt here and they should be.

Everyone slows down as Mark Henry comes in at #4. Everyone goes after Mark when the right answer would be to run from him. If he can’t catch you, he can’t pin you. Henry takes them all down with ease, not selling anyone like a good monster. The Slam gets the pin on Chavo to make him Interim Champion. Hardy escapes the Slam but gets knocked to the floor quickly.

Again, why does everyone go after Henry? We’ve established that you can pin anyone but wrestlers are stupid above all other things. Henry takes turns giving people bearhugs to people and finally settles on Hardy. Here’s Finlay to complete the group with five minutes to go. Finlay goes straight for Henry and actually pounds him down, getting a DDT for two. Horny slides Finlay the club and Henry is thrown to the floor after a shot with it. A Celtic Cross to Hardy makes Finlay Interim champion at 3:45 to go.

Miz comes in and takes out Finlay with a missile dropkick but walks into a Twist of Fate and Matt is champion at 3:15 to go. Henry and everyone else is back in now and Hardy starts playing defense, breaking up every possible cover. Two minutes left. Henry slams everyone in sight other than Hardy and Miz rolls up Finlay for two. Miz is cut a little bit on the forehead.

Finlay tries the Celtic Cross on Hardy but Henry breaks it up. The Slam gets two on Miz as Hardy saves again. Thirty seconds left and Hardy starts throwing people to the floor in some GREAT psychology. Everyone winds up in a pile in the corner and time runs out, making Matt the official champion.

Rating: B. Fun match here as the ending few minutes after Hardy got the Interim Title were great with him THINKING through the whole thing, knowing that he had to keep anyone from pinning anyone and finding ways to prevent that from happening. This was really fun and Matt would hold the title for awhile until Jack Swagger debuted and eventually took it from him, prompting Matt’s ill-advised heel turn.

The Hardys celebrate in the back after a video for Mania tickets.

HHH and Punk are warming up. They’re the champions coming in.

Should Big Show have been in the title match? Run up your cell phone bill and let us know!

Raw Tag Titles: Cryme Tyme vs. Legacy

If nothing else we get the Priceless theme here which is always a treat. JTG vs. Rhodes to start us off. The racial stereotypes take over and clear the ring quickly with a double clothesline from Shad sending the champions to the floor. Shad vs. DiBiase takes up some time and Ted does about as well as Cody did. The challengers hit a nice double team move ending in a slingshot clothesline by Jimmy the Gimmick.

Legacy finally realizes that JTG is beating them up and takes over with double teaming. They work on JTG’s arm and show how much they’ve grown in the past few years as they’re not much here. Jerry gets on Cole for talking too much as JTG fights back, hitting a belly to back suplex. Cody prevents the tag and Legacy cheats like proper heels. I get a little smile on my face every time JTG gets punched. I can’t help it after watching over 35 weeks of him on NXT.

Cody works on the arm a little more and then slams JTG near the corner. A moonsault (decent one too) misses and it’s hot tag to Shad. Remember when JTG vs. Shad was supposed to be a big feud? Neither do I but some people actually believe it would be. Shad cleans house and I can see why people thought he’d be a good bodyguard style character. The guy has a good look and can do some power stuff.

Not that it really matters here as Cody grabs a DDT on him to slow him down. It only gets two but the momentum was stopped dead. Cody comes in legally now and gets his head taken off via a lariat. In a not great ending, JTG rolls up Rhodes as Shad hits DiBiase. DiBiase stumbles into the package and rolls it over so that JTG gets pinned. Why didn’t he just let go?

Rating: C-. Not as bad as most Raw matches but still it’s nothing all that great. They tried and Cryme Tyme was over, but Legacy at this point wasn’t a threat of any kind. Neither had a finisher that I remember and they came off as rookies with zero personality (intentionally I think) and didn’t do anything until a few years later when they split from Orton, which took years to get to.

There’s a post match brawl until Manu debuts to help Legacy. He joined them for like a month and no one cared.

Shawn is having his bad arm taped up for his match with Jericho. Shawn is in fighting clothes and has a partial tear in his elbow tendon.

We recap Jericho vs. Shawn. The feud had been going for awhile before this but at Summerslam, Shawn had said that he was listening to his doctors for once and was walking away due to his eye and various other injuries. Jericho said he didn’t accept that because Shawn was doing it in the spotlight, unlike how he should do it by resigning quietly.

Jericho wanted Shawn to admit that it was Jericho that retired him but Shawn said no, but to tell your family that you’ll never be Shawn Michaels. With that, Jericho went for the eye but Shawn ducked and Jericho punched Shawn’s wife. Jericho, the consummate heel, said that it was Shawn’s fault. Shawn vows revenge and it’s an unsanctioned match tonight. This easily won feud of the year and the match at No Mercy won match of the year. This is no slouch though.

Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels

This is unsanctioned and it’s pin or submission only. In essence, it’s no holds barred. Cole says Shawn told him of a Bible verse which talks about the Walls of Jericho coming down. That’s a great line. Why is there a WWE referee in an unsanctioned match? Couldn’t anyone referee it/not need a referee? Shawn takes his cowboy boot off to whack Jericho with it as he’s going after the eye just like Chris did to him.

They’re into the crowd already and it’s been all Shawn. The injury is to the triceps, not the elbow. Jericho is bleeding from the nose so Shawn hits a slingshot into the post. Shawn’s chair shot misses and Chris sends him into the table (doesn’t break it) to take over. Now we get a breakable table set up but instead Jericho just throws it at Shawn to keep him down. Chris tries to powerbomb him through the table but Shawn fires off punches. Jericho just drops him face first onto the apron instead to keep the advantage. That looked painful.

Back inside now and Jericho works Shawn over with a chair. Jericho wedges said chair in the corner but misses a charge into the opposite corner, ramming into the post. Jericho can’t suplex Shawn over the top through the table as Shawn lands on the apron. Back in Shawn nips up and just chokes Jericho down. The elbow hits and Shawn is all fired up. Sorry for the play by play but this is one of those matches where you almost have to have all of the individual details for the other stuff to make sense.

Shawn sets for Chin Music but stops to punch Jericho more. Off to a Crossface but Jericho manages to send his head into the chair, reinjuring the eye. Jericho peppers the eye so Shawn fires off right hands. Shawn tries a piledriver but gets reversed into the Walls instead. Shawn gets to a rope but THANKFULLY the referee doesn’t break it. Instead HBK finds a fire extinguisher from somewhere to spray in Chris’ eyes to break the hold.

They go to the floor and Jericho goes into the barricade as it’s all Shawn here. There’s a suplex on the ramp and both guys are down. Here’s Lance Cade and Shawn beats him up too. Cade gets in a shot to the arm though and Jericho wraps the arm around the post for good measure. Jericho hits the arm with a chair as Shawn is in real trouble. They set to Pillmanize the arm but Shawn kicks Cade into the ropes to crotch Jericho. Chin Music puts Cade down and clocks Jericho with the chair, sending him to the floor through the table.

Shawn works over Jericho with the chair now and loads up the announcers’ table as per wrestling law. Cade is laid out on the table while Jericho is on the floor. Shawn sets to go up top but instead coems down and puts Jericho on top of Cade on the table. Here’s your HUGE spot of the match as Shawn drops an elbow onto the back of Jericho and pops up somehow. That was awesome!

Back in the ring Shawn whips Jericho with the belt and won’t let up. He pulls Jericho’s arm around his own neck (Jericho’s arm is around Jericho’s neck) and pounds away at the eye as the referee is begging him to have mercy. Shawn just doesn’t care and goes back after the eye until in an unsanctioned match, the referee stops it, drawing a very mixed reaction from the crowd.

Rating: A-. This is one of those matches where blood would have really improved things. Having Shawn in a white shirt and having him covered in Jericho’s blood to end it and looking down at himself and not caring how far he let it go would have been a great ending. That being said, it’s still a great revenge match as Jericho did everything imaginable to make the fans hate him and it worked. Good stuff here, although the lack of a clearer finish hurt it.

Shawn goes after Jericho again post match and superkicks the referee when he tries to stop him. The fans are very pleased.

Legacy (Manu included) is in the back when Orton comes in. Rhodes introduces Orton to (named) Manu and Manu praises the champs. Orton says it was luck instead of skill. Orton says talent is forever but luck can run out, so no he’s not impressed.

Smackdown World Title: Triple H vs. Jeff Hardy vs. The Brian Kendrick vs. MVP vs. Shelton Benjamin

Same rules as earlier and Jeff starts with Shelton who is currently a boring heel and US Champion. Shelton says he’s the Gold Standard. Yep, that’s really the best they could come up with him. Hardy grabs a rollup to start and they’re moving out there. They kind of botch something as you could tell Shelton was supposed to do something but Hardy moved. He immediately grabs a headlock and you can hear him talking to Jeff. Snap suplex gets two for Shelton.

JR talks about the Grand Slam Title and Hardy looking to become the 7th Grand Slam winner ever. Hardy takes him to the mat and gets a bunch of nearfalls. There’s the countdown and Kendrick (with Big Zeke Jackson) is in third. He was channeling some serious Brian Pillman around this time too. Zeke doesn’t come with him here for some reason. Kendrick chills outside and Shelton tries to hook a German on Hardy off the apron. Kendrick knocks Shelton to the floor, possibly by mistake, and then goes after Hardy.

A forearm gets two on Hardy and Kendrick is all lit up. Jeff grabs a faceplant on Kendrick out of nowhere and becomes Interim Champion in a POP. Back to Shelton now who Hardy covers, probably out of instinct. Shelton misses a Stinger Splash so Jeff rolls him up again. Twist of Fate is countered into Shelton’s Paydirt finisher for two. Kendrick hits Sliced Bread and is Interim Champion.

Up fourth is MVP and I have no idea if he’s a face or a heel. The fans cheer for him so we’ll say face. He throws out the white guys and beats on Shelton. MVP loads up the Drive By on Shelton but Kendrick comes out of nowhere with a SICK leg lariat to a huge reaction. Jeff is back in now and hits the slingshot dropkick on MVP and Shelton at the same time. Shelton finally takes Kendrick down with a Samoan Drop.

Everyone knocks each other down as we’re waiting for HHH to come in and dominate everything in sight. Kendrick counters a Shelton powerbomb into a nice rana. Here’s HHH and Kendrick has been Interim Champion for five minutes plus now. Facebuster for MVP and a spinebuster for Kendrick sets up a Pedigree to make HHH Interim Champion 48 seconds after his music hit.

We’re under four minutes now as Shelton takes a beating from HHH on the floor. MVP and Hardy are in the ring now and a Twist of Fate makes Hardy the Interim Champion (POP) with about 3 minutes left. Sliced Bread is kind of countered so Hardy hits a sitout gordbuster and goes up for the Swanton. HHH makes the save and Pedigrees Kendrick again to get the title at 2:00. Jeff Swantons Kendrick immediately and is champion with 1:45 to go.

Pedigree is countered and we’re under 90 seconds. Hardy dives on HHH and the other three do a Tower of Doom spot to put everyone down at 40 seconds left. Whisper in the Wind to MVP and a Swanton to Shelton. HHH runs back in for a Pedigree on MVP and Hardy shows his idiocy by not breaking it up as HHH wins the belt back with 1 second left. Hardy’s time was coming.

Rating: B-. Nowhere near as good of a match as this was about Hardy and HHH having another contest. HHH did his thing and is somehow a 13 time champion or whatever. Not as good as the first one because we all knew it would be Hardy or HHH at the end of the day. Kendrick was shockingly champion for the longest amount of time while MVP never was anything more than a bonus. The ending was stupid too with not breaking up that cover which he saw.

Shawn says he’s not happy with what happened and he’ll be back for more. He’s content but there’s no closure. He wants to hurt Jericho like that every night and the worst is yet to come for Jericho.

Punk is in the back when Orton comes up. He calls Punk a fluke and Punk runs him down, saying he’s always hurt and all that stuff. Punk says he’s busy at the moment when Legacy attacks. Kofi tries to come in for the save but is beaten down also. Punk gets Punted and is out cold. This wouldn’t be paid off for over two years but they FINALLY got to it eventually.

Divas Title: Maryse vs. Michelle McCool

Michelle is champion. Michelle as a face just never worked. She’s such a natural villain and her pumping her fist doesn’t work at all. She hurts her knee going to the floor and Maryse works on it as we’re waiting for the people to get back from popcorn time to end this. Michelle works on Maryse’s leg in a heel hook but she gets a rope. The fans are all over this match already. A sitout gordbuster keeps the title on McCool.

Rating: D-. Michelle and Maryse are too hot to be a failure but the match was terrible. NO ONE cared and that was very clear. Nothing to see here and we’re moving on. Why this got almost six minutes was crazy but I’d assume that it was due to a long line at the Cena shirt booths. Horrible match.

Mike Adamle, the GM of Raw, says Punk is out of the title match and that he’ll find someone else.

Here’s Big Show to chat for a bit. He offers his services to replace Punk in the title match. Show says go vote and makes a bunch of election references for some reason. He asks the fans if they’ll vote for him and goes to leave but the still fat Vickie waddles out. She blasts him for no apparent reason and this is going nowhere. She throws him out and that causes…druids?

Show is laughing as a casket is brought out. This takes FOREVER until Taker pops up on the screen. He says he’s coming for her like he promised and she’ll burn and all that jazz. Show holds Vickie there and this takes forever. Taker grabs Vickie by the throat and Show turns heel, knocking Taker out. The beating goes on for awhile because we have 15 people in three matches so there’s almost no midcard to speak of.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Orton was on Raw and called out Punk for disgracing the title. Orton was injured at this point and Punk called him an afterthought. That set up the punt earlier.

Regal is talking to Adamle and says he should be in the Scramble. Adamle says he’s on the list but Punk might be able to go.

Raw World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Batista vs. Kane vs. Rey Mysterio vs. ???

Batista vs. JBL gets us going in the main event here. Batista takes over quickly with power (duh) but JBL hooks a sleeper. Big Dave breaks that quickly and throws on a pretty freaking good Figure Four. It’s better than most HHH ever used. JBL no sells the knee work and beats on Batista outside. Kane comes in third and that wasn’t five minutes. That might not have been four minutes.

He’s a heel here if you’re not all that up to date on your Kane face/heel alignment. He hits his low dropkick and I guess if no one gets a pin here, Punk is still champion? JBL is still down so it’s one on one here. Side slam puts Batista down and Kane misses the clothesline off the top. Batista misses a spear but breaks out of the chokeslam. JBL pops back in and walks into a chokeslam to make Kane Interim Champion. Rey, complete with mowhawk, is in fourth and that wasn’t five minutes either.

Rey knocks Kane to the floor but JBL comes back and pops him in the face with a punch. He speeds things up but Kane ducks a 619 and takes Rey’s stupid looking mowhawked head off with a clothesline. Batista and Rey team up to beat up Kane and then Mysterio tries to steal a pin on Batista. JBL beats up various people as the fifth man is….Chris Jericho. You know, because no one is better suited than the guy that is walking slower than an 80 year old woman.

Jericho gets in after 50 seconds of walking down the aisle, only to have Batista spear him down. Now that just wasn’t nice. Four minutes left and Batista takes everyone down. He manages a big boot to Kane and gets two as Rey saves. Under three minutes. 619 to JBL and Batista DESTROYS Rey as he’s trying a springboard move. Rey just collapsed and it looked awesome. Two minutes left and everyone is down. Kane gets up and the clothesline gets two on Big Dave with 75 seconds left. Batista spears Kane down with 53 to go and a spinebuster makes Batista Interim Champion at 35 seconds. Rey goes after Batista and Jericho steals a pin on Kane with 4 seconds left to win the title.

Rating: D+. The problem was that once Jericho came in, everyone knew he was going to win. He was by far and away the hottest thing in the company at this point though so you can’t really argue putting the belt on him. Not a good match in the slightest but Jericho winning was a great surprise and gave Shawn vs. Jericho a new dynamic and a reason to continue, which was a good thing.

Overall Rating: C+. Pretty decent show overall and definitely something different, but the Scrambles get old after the second one. The LONG Taker vs. Show segment is annoying because that feud was played 5 years before this show. Shawn vs. Jericho is a great brawl and the ECW match is good, but the rest is pretty weak stuff, especially since the lowest of the Scrambles was the best.

Well I’m done with Unforgiven now and there’s not much to say here. It’s just another B level show that had some good years and some bad but it’s never something worth much. It’s the Backlash of Summerslam and while that’s fine, it doesn’t make for a ton of interesting matches and stories because everything significant was done the month before. Next up will be the Great American Bash.

 

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Smackdown – September 6, 2013: Unlucky Number Seven

Smackdown
Date: September 6, 2013
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

We’re almost three weeks into the new Corporation and not a lot has really changed. Daniel Bryan is still getting destroyed every week, the roster still won’t help him and it still makes all the good guys look like cowards who won’t stand up for anyone. The other main story is Punk vs. Heyman which is set for a handicap tag at Night of Champions. After that I could see the two stories merging with Punk helping Bryan in his war with the Corporation. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Cody getting a match against Orton and losing his job as a result. No mention of Bryan and Big Show in the intros here.

Opening sequence.

HHH and the GM’s are in the ring (with a red carpet) and the roster on the stage with Shield standing guard at ringside. HHH says as of Monday, Cody Rhodes is no longer a WWE Superstar. He talks about Cody being insubordinate to the COO of the WWE, making him disrespectful to the fans since HHH is the WWE. How long do you think he’s wanted to say that line? He gave Cody a chance to fight for his job but Rhodes lost, meaning Cody Rhodes fired Cody Rhodes.

That was hard since HHH is friends with the Rhodes Family but as COO he has to make some hard decisions. However, tonight he’s going to allow for an open forum for any superstar to air their grievances. No one says anything so HHH begs them to open up to him so he can work hard for everyone here. Damien Sandow supports the firing of Cody Rhodes because Cody embodied everything that was bad for business.

HHH says he appreciates that but doesn’t want this to be all about kissing up to him. Kofi Kingston goes to the mic and says the entire locker room has been living in fear since Cody was fired and that’s not good for business. HHH took Cody’s livelihood away and that makes everyone else live in fear. HHH is about to respond but 3MB cuts him off to complain about Big Show just standing around watching everything. Oh and thank you HHH for having an awesome management style.

RVD comes to the mic and says HHH brought him back to WWE a few months ago. Rob expected things to be better now but the vibe isn’t very cool around here. HHH: “I’ve been waiting since 2000 to have RVD call me dude.” HHH thinks Rob is still cool and asks to hear from someone else.

Ryback is tired of being called a bully and HHH agrees because it wasn’t Ryback’s fault Ziggler was hurt on Raw. Therefore tonight it’s Ryback vs. Ziggler again. HHH stops for a minute to say that Daniel Bryan isn’t here because Bryan thinks he’s above everyone else on the stage. Tonight it’s Bryan vs. a member of the Shield of Bryan’s choice. HHH thanks the stars for their honesty and gives Kofi a non-title match against Curtis Axel. RVD gets a non-title match as well against Randy Orton. Orton gets his big introduction to end this segment.

Time for a sidebar. This segment shows a lot of what’s wrong with this whole story: it’s a HHH story and everyone else is just there. A few weeks ago after Bryan destroyed the Escalade, HHH said Orton was just holding the WWE Title for him. Tonight HHH said he was the WWE. The guys that all said stuff were treated to HHH’s unfunny jokes as HHH tries to be a cool heel.

Much like the far too long feud with Lesnar, this is a HHH story which we don’t need. Everyone else is just there in the background but it’s HHH front and center every week. More people are going to be elevated throughout the story but so far it’s only pushed HHH. It’s still entertaining and has potential, but there’s too much HHH dominance so far and it’s hurting things.

Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam

Del Rio sits in on commentary. Rob starts with some shoulder into the ribs and a kick to the face for two. Another kick to the face gets two more and a slingshot legdrop has Randy writhing around on the mat. A top rope kick to the face gets two for Rob but Orton counters Rolling Thunder into a powerslam for two. Orton stomps Van Dam’s head but Rob comes back with yet another kick for two. The fans chant for ECW as Randy pounds away at Rob’s head for two.

Rob comes back with the fifth kick to the face of the match as Del Rio says Ricardo was stealing money from him, hence the split. We head to the floor with Orton being draped across the barricade, only to move from Rob’s kick to the back. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that move miss before. Back in and Orton goes after the leg with a Robinsdale Crunch before stopping to pose.

Randy throws him back to the floor and we take a break. Back with Rob fighting out of the chinlock and getting two off a superkick and a standing moonsault. A spinwheel kick in the corner staggers Orton but he avoids a monkey flip and kicks Rob’s leg out for two. The Elevated DDT puts Rob down but the RKO is countered with, say it with me, a kick to the head. A rollup gets two for Rob and now Rolling Thunder connects.

The Five Star misses and Rob rolls to the floor for a second, only to come back in for another kick to Randy’s face. Alberto gets off commentary and sends Ricardo into the post, drawing Rob into a dive to the floor, taking Del Rio out. Randy sends RVD into the announce table and hits the Elevated DDT on the floor (the same move that wrote RVD out of the WWE six years ago, not mentioned here of course) before the RKO gets the pin at 10:18 shown of 13:18.

Rating: B-. Good match here with Orton continuing to turn his usual spots into heel moves quite well. I’m not wild on the booking idea of having both the champion and the challenger losing as we head into the PPV but such is life as the World Heavyweight Champion in the WWE anymore. At least Orton is still looking strong.

Post match Del Rio beats up Rob and puts him in the cross armbreaker.

Daniel Bryan says that he wasn’t invited to the town hall meeting and the only attitude problem he has is that he wants to be WWE Champion. Shield can pick a member to face him because any of them are fine with him.

AJ runs into Layla, Aksana and Alicia Fox (who is at least six inches taller than all three of them) and says that she’d rather face any of them rather than the Total Divas because the three of them are actual wrestlers. AJ has a plan.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Ryback

This is a rematch from Monday where Ambrose jumped Ziggler before the match. Ziggler escapes a quick gorilla press and low bridges Ryback out to the floor. Back in and Ziggler hits a quick dropkick but misses a splash into the corner to give Ryback control. Dean Ambrose jumps in on commentary out of nowhere and goes into that creepy voice of his.

Ryback puts on a bearhug and gets a two count out of it before lifting Ziggler back into the air. A BIG DDT gets Dolph out of trouble and he pounds away on Ryback in the corner. Dolph gets two off a neckbreaker and the Fameasser gets the same. Ryback knocks Ziggy to the floor but misses a charge into the steps. Ziggler goes after Ambrose but walks into the Meat Hook to take his head off. Back in and the Shell Shock ends Ziggler at 4:32.

Rating: C. This was more angle advancement for Ziggler vs. Ambrose than anything else but it’s good to see Ryback getting some wins in his new persona. Ziggler’s fall from grace continues but I guess a US Title shot is better than nothing. The fans did seem more into Ziggler than usual so maybe the fighting against odds idea might work for him.

Curtis Axel vs. Kofi Kingston

Non-title. They fight over a top wristlock to start and the fans are entirely behind the hometown boy Axel here. Axel takes him to the mat as we open with some nice chain wrestling. Off to a headlock by Axel but Kofi fights out for the double leapfrog and jumping back elbow to the jaw. Curtis has a quick consultation with Heyman and walks right into a headscissors.

Kofi dropkicks him to the floor but Axel steps to the side before Kofi can launch the suicide dive. Instead Axel tries to send Kingston into the steps, only to have Kofi jump over the steps, turn around and use the steps as a springboard for a clothesline. A Heyman distraction lets Axel shoulder Kofi to the floor and we take a break. Back with Axel holding a chinlock but Kofi comes back with kicks to the ribs. Axel will have none of that though and hits a clothesline to the back of the head for a close two.

The fans want to see a PerfectPlex but instead they get Axel jumping into Kofi’s boots to put both guys down. Kofi speeds things up but walks into a great looking dropkick for two more. The dueling chants begin but Kofi misses a charge into the corner and gets caught in a quick Tree of Woe. Not that it matters as Kofi escapes and hooks the SOS out of nowhere for the pin at 6:44 shown of 9:44.

Rating: C. This was nothing special and the ending came from way out of left field. I guess the idea they’re going for is Axel could lose at any time to Punk and leave Heyman alone but it didn’t do this match any favors. Also it’s not like this does much for Kofi as he’s perpetually in the midcard title hunt. Not a bad match but the sudden ending hurt it a bit.

We get the Bray Wyatt promo from Raw on Kane disappearing while talking about Icarus. The myth, not the indy guy.

Heyman is panicking over what might happen at the PPV when Renee asks him about that very thing. Paul calls tonight an error in judgment and takes the blame instead of putting it on Axel. Renee says that Punk has promised to give Heyman the beating of his life which freaks Paul out even worse.

Naomi vs. Brie Bella

Have we ever gotten an explanation of why she’s Naomi in WWE and Trinity on Total Divas? Brie kicks her down and puts on a chinlock while shouting that she’ll be Divas Champion. Trinity fights out and hits a flipping clothesline for two before they tumble to the floor where AJ, Alicia, Aksana and Layla run to the ring for the DQ at 1:39.

The Total Divas are beaten down and AJ declares herself Divas Champion. This is somewhat booed, which makes me chuckle as they’re really going with the Total Divas as the good people here.

Los Matadores are coming.

Real Americans vs. Usos

Antonio now has a We The People cape, making him even more amazing than he was before. Cesaro charges right at Jey with a dropkick at the bell to send him to the floor. Swagger gets the tag and runs Jey down with a clothesline on the floor before heading back inside. The Vader Bomb crushes Jey and a double stomp from Cesaro makes it even worse. Back to Swager for a double arm trap but Jey fights up and backdrops Jack to the floor.

The hot tag brings in Jimmy who throws Antonio to the floor and hits a big dive to take him down again. Back in and the running Umaga attack in the corner gets two as Swagger saves. Jey superkicks Cesaro down and loads up the Superfly Splash but Swagger shoves him right into the European uppercut for the pin by Cesaro at 3:37. Jey sold that perfectly by stopping cold on impact and looking like he ran into a building.

Rating: C. This started slowly but the ending helped a lot. I’m glad to see Cesaro winning again but he needs to get away from Swagger. Jack is such damaged goods at this point and it’s dragging Cesaro down. Antonio could be a great choice for the corporate enforcer if treated as a serious threat, but instead he’s having to drag Swagger along with him.

HHH comes up to see Big Show and gives him a handicap match against 3MB for what they said earlier. Big Show can use the like stress balls.

The Raw ReBound covers the Big Show/HHH/Bryan stuff that closed the show.

Big Show vs. 3MB

Slater is the first lamb to be slaughtered and Show takes out the knee. The other two are knocked to the floor and the carnage begins. Show unleashes the chops on Mahal’s chest and spears Drew in half. Back in and a double chokeslam takes out Mahal and McIntyre but it’s the WMD to pin Slater at 2:35. Exactly what you would expect here.

Shield comes out as Show leaves but HHH takes the giant to the back.

Seth Rollins vs. Daniel Bryan

Reigns steps forward to distract Bryan and give Seth a cheap shot to start. Bryan comes back with a knee to the ribs and fires off the kicks to a kneeling Rollins. A Cactus Clothesline sends both guys to the floor but Bryan heads inside with Shield closing in on him. Rollins knocks him back to the floor and kicks Bryan in the side of the head for two. Off to a chinlock for a bit before Bryan comes back with forearms and a release German suplex. Bryan hits the corner dropkick and its missile cousin for two.

Back up and Bryan fires off more kicks but the Rollins ducks the roundhouse kick and shoves Daniel to the apron. An enziguri puts Bryan on the floor and Reigns gets in a cheap shot to take Bryan down. Bryan is whipped into the steps but Rollins’ top rope knee is countered into the YES Lock. A Reigns distraction breaks it up though and Bryan hits the FLYING GOAT to take out Roman. Not that it matters though as the running knee to the head pins Rollins at 6:06.

Rating: C+. This was the usual fast paced match these two are expected to have but the limited time they had kept it from being great. It’s good to see Bryan get a clean pin over one of the guys that has tormented him for weeks now so at least he didn’t get crushed again. Nice main event here but it needed a few more minutes.

Bryan bails to escape Shield and poses on the stage…..but Orton lays him out with the belt to end the show. This would be the seventh consecutive show to end with Daniel Bryan laid out since he won the WWE Championship.

Overall Rating: C. This was just ok. We didn’t get much development tonight and the show ended with Bryan laid out yet again. They have to do something by Night of Champions but they kind of put the brakes on Big Show’s story tonight. Instead of being all upset he was given a bone by HHH and was on screen for about five minutes all night. Nothing to see here but it was an acceptable use of two hours.

Results

Randy Orton b. Rob Van Dam – RKO

Ryback b. Dolph Ziggler – Shell Shock

Kofi Kingston b. Curtis Axel – SOS

Naomi vs. Brie Bella went to a double DQ when Layla, Alicia Fox, Aksana and AJ Lee interfered

Real Americans b. Usos – European Uppercut to Jey Uso

Big Show b. 3MB – WMD to Slater

Daniel Bryan b. Seth Rollins – Running knee to the head

 

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NXT – September 4, 2013: Sami! Sami! Sami!

NXT
Date: September 4, 2013
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Alex Riley

Things are getting interesting again in NXT as we started a series of new stories last week. On top of the card we have Sami Zayn wanting the NXT Title but having to deal with the other Real American, Jack Swagger. Other than that we have Sylvester LeFort strengthening his stable with the addition of Alexander Rusev. It should be a fun show tonight so let’s get to it.

Welcome Home.

Bayley/Charlote vs. Alicia Fox/Aksana

Bayley starts with Aksana and the WWE chick wants a hug. The gullible Bayley goes for it and earns the kick to her ribs. Aksana crawls around on the mat before covering and drops an elbow for two. Off to Fox for that gorgeous northern lights suplex for two before it’s back to Aksana for some stomping in the corner. The heels continue to tag in and out quickly to work Bayley over until it’s off to a chinlock from Fox.

Aksana comes back in for more choking but walks into a belly to belly suplex, allowing for the double tag. Charlotte comes in with her gymnastic flipping, including rolling out of a slam from the top in a nice nod to her dad. Fox is put in a fireman’s carry but Bayley tags herself in, much to Charlotte’s annoyance. Alicia accidentally kicks Aksana to the floor, allowing Bayley to roll Fox up for the pin at 4:33.

Rating: C. This wasn’t too bad with Charlotte starting to get her style down. Bayley’s overzealous character could work well as she could drive everyone crazy enough that they’ll want to fight her. The fans like Bayley though so it might be a problem to make the other Divas not like her without turning them all heel.

Charlotte doesn’t seem too mad at Bayley.

Scott Dawson and Sylvester LeFort are in the back when Alexander Rusev’s snarling quiets them down. Tonight is about getting revenge on Mason Ryan so Rusev breaks a board with Mason’s name on it.

Rick Victor vs. Corey Graves

Graves has bad ribs due to the attack by Ascension last week. Victor has stolen Graves’ tag title belt so Graves has even more of a reason for revenge. Corey takes him down to start and sends Victor into the corner to pound away. A headbutt knocks Victor into the corner but he kicks away from Lucky 13. Instead Corey puts on a front facelock but gets rammed into the buckles, jarring those bad ribs.

Corey comes right back with right hands and a snap suplex for two. A cross body puts Rick down but it hurts the ribs again, giving Victor the opening he needed. They slug it out and Graves scores with a mule kick, only to be sent into the ropes hard enough to hurt the ribs again. We take a break and come back with Victor pounding Corey down in the corner. Every time I see Ascension pounding beating like that it puts me in mind of Demolition which is never a bad comparison to make.

A backbreaker gets two on Graves and it’s off to a knee in the back to stretch the ribs even more. O’Brien taunts Graves with the title belt but Victor stomps Corey in the ribs before he can start a comeback. Back to the chinlock with the knee in the back but Corey fights up and makes his comeback with as many right hands as he can throw.

A clothesline puts Victor down and Graves drops a fist to the back of Rick’s head. Conor O’Brien gets on the apron but Adrian Neville dropkicks him down and dives on Conor before he can interfere. Victor loads up Graves for a gutbuster but Graves rolls him into a small package for the pin at 9:51 shown of 13:21.

Rating: B-. The match was good but I’m not liking the booking. The champions have now beaten both challengers clean in back to back weeks, so why should I be interested in seeing them in a tag match? Also it goes against the dominance that Ascension has shown in their earlier matches, which almost defeats their purpose as a team.

Sasha Banks is doing her makeup when Summer Rae comes up to start trouble. Summer talks about Sasha’s match with Paige next week and suggests Paige thinks she’s too good to be a Diva like them. Summer says to use the inner rage and Sasha seems intrigued.

Paige doesn’t care what Summer Rae is doing but knows that Sasha Banks is good. She isn’t here to be a covergirl but rather to cover girls in the ring. Paige promises to give Sasha the fight of her life next week. This wasn’t a very good promo at all with Paige sounding nervous and not being sure what to say next.

Alexander Rusev vs. Mason Ryan

Alexander breaks another Mason board before the match. They lock up a few times to start with Ryan shoving him away both times, so Alexander kicks him in the face. Ryan gets in some right hands, only to have Alexander take him down with an impressive spinwheel kick. Some falling headbutts have Ryan in trouble and more headbutts to the chest get two for Rusev. Mason dodges a charge in the corner and comes back with right hands and a big boot but he has to deal with Scott Dawson and LeFort. The distraction allows Alexander to splash him in the corner and a camel clutch makes Mason tap out at 4:00.

Rating: D+. This was a squash for Rusev and the fact that it’s over Ryan makes it even better. Mason has never shown any potential but has consistently been pushed as a monster. Rusev actually looks good in the ring and would have been a top heel in the mid 80s against Hogan. I like what I’ve seen from him so far and I can dig the foreign monster heel idea.

Leo Kruger laughs a lot and looks down at Xavier Woods who is holding his neck.

Sami Zayn vs. Jack Swagger

They have a ton of time here assuming there’s nothing left on the show. Sami stomps him down into the corner but Jack scores with a clothesline. Zayn will have none of this being on defense stuff though and comes back with chops for two. A dropkick sends Swagger to the floor but he moves before Sami can dive. That’s fine with Zayn who catches himself before the dive and flips back into the ring to fire up the crowd even more.

Zeb Colter grabs Sami’s leg, finally allowing Jack to get in a hard clothesline to take over. We take a break and come back with Sami fighting out of a chinlock, only to walk into a belly to back suplex for two. Another suplex puts Sami down before another clothesline turns him inside out. Swagger puts on a double chicken wing for a bit, only to have Sami fight up and send him to the floor for the big flip dive.

Back in and a high cross body gets two on Swagger, as does a sunset flip. Swagger hits something like a running spinebuster to put Sami down again but Zayn escapes an Oklahoma stampede and gets two more off a blue thunder bomb. Jack goes for the ankle but has to settle for the gutwrench powerbomb for two instead. Now the Patriot Lock goes on for a good while but Sami makes it to the ropes for a YES chant.

Sami fights up AGAIN and sends Swagger into the corner for a jogging big boot. Zayn pounds him down before going up top where Swagger crotches him down, only to be caught in a sunset bomb for a VERY close two. The fans are losing their minds on these kickouts. This draws out Bo Dallas, whose distraction allows Swagger to put on the Patriot Lock for the submission at 13:14 shown of 15:44.

Rating: B+. Sami has yet another great match here by putting the fans on the edge of their seats for those kickouts. Thankfully the loss wasn’t clean as Zayn hasn’t won anything major since his debut if I remember correctly. Still though, very entertaining match here and hopefully it sets up Zayn vs. Dallas down the line.

Overall Rating: B. Can we have a bad episode of this so I don’t have to say the same good things about it every week? This was more good stuff from the Florida people as they continue to roll along. The Sami vs. Swagger match was really exciting stuff and they made sure to build more stories for later. These guys know how to run a weekly wrestling show and it keeps me wanting more.

Results

Bayley/Charlotte b. Alicia Fox/Aksana – Rollup to Fox

Corey Graves b. Rick Victor – Small Package

Alexander Rusev b. Mason Ryan – Camel Clutch

Jack Swagger b. Sami Zayn – Patriot Lock

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Monday Night Raw – September 2, 2013: The Heavy Hands Of The McMahons

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 2, 2013
Location: Wells Fargo Arena, Des Moines, Iowa
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

We’re closing in on Night of Champions with the main story still being Bryan vs. the Corporation. The interesting turn of events on Smackdown was Big Show getting very close to helping Bryan without actually doing so, by standing over Bryan to prevent Shield from attacking him. It only lasted for a few moments though as HHH made him leave to humiliate Show again, but the fuse is about to run out. Let’s get to it.

We open with Shield in their now usual spot between the ring and the stage and HHH in the ring. The Game introduces Orton for his opening address. Orton talks about how it’s his job to protect this company and he won’t let its image be tarnished. If you disrespect Orton, you’re disrespecting the WWE. The fans disagree with this theory and let the champion know about it. Last week Daniel Bryan defaced Orton’s new car so on Smackdown, Orton defaced Bryan by spray painting him.

Orton plays the audience’s favorite game by asking questions and then answering them himself. Does Bryan deserve a title shot? NO. Would Bryan have a chance against Randy Orton? NO. Will Bryan ever be an A-list player? NO. Should Bryan give up his title shot at Night of Champions? YES! HHH says that it’s his job to give the fans what they want every week. Over the last few weeks, HHH has been starting to worry about the health and well being of Daniel Bryan.

That’s a problem and the fans are making it even worse with their YES chants. Those chants are making Daniel Bryan confuse popularity with what is best for business. A few years ago there was a superstar named Doink the Clown. Doink was wildly popular but the idea of Doink being WWE Champion would have been bad for business. Daniel Bryan will never be WWE Champion, but maybe HHH can bring back the Cruiserweight or European Titles as realistic goals for Bryan.

Cue Bryan to the arena to say that HHH and Orton have made some great points. Bryan is thrilled to be compared to Doink the Clown but he doesn’t think Doink ever got chants like the ones he’s getting. The only clowns are standing in the ring right now because they think he’s actually giving up his title shot. HHH already gave up his manhood when he cut his hair and became a sellout and Orton gave up being in the WWE Title picture until someone gave him the title on a silver platter.

Bryan says he won’t give up his title shot and Orton wants to know why Bryan would be willing to take so many beatings. Bryan talks about how he’s used to being told he can’t do things but he’s proven everything wrong. That’s something Orton can never understand because he was handed everything. Daniel doesn’t think he can beat Orton for the WWE Championship because he knows he can.

Orton and HHH know it too because they keep putting him in handicap matches and gauntlet matches instead of letting them go one on one. Orton may have the genetics of a champion but he doesn’t have the heart of a champion. HHH wants to know why Bryan is so angry all the time. The anger should be directed at Big Show for never helping him when he has an iron clad contract. Therefore tonight it’s Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan.

HHH and Orton are in the back and seem very pleased with their decisions tonight. They run into Cody Rhodes who thinks the main event tonight will be great as long as no one gets involved. HHH wants to know why people would get involved. Cody asks Orton why he doesn’t want to face Daniel Bryan because that would be best for business. HHH doesn’t like Cody’s input and gives him a match with Randy Orton as a wedding present. If Cody loses he’s out of a job.

Fandango vs. The Miz

A hiptoss puts Fandango down but he rolls to the floor to escape the Figure Four. Miz sends Fandango into the barricade and does a quick dance with Summer before heading back inside. Fandango gets in a few shots to take over but a kick to the chest gets two for Miz. We hit the chinlock and take a break. Back with Fandango in control despite apparently having a broken nose.

Fandango goes to the middle rope but gets taken down by a dragon screw legwhip. The Figure Four is countered again and Miz misses the corner clothesline. A slingshot legdrop puts Miz down but it hurts Fandango’s leg again. Not that it matters as Miz puts on the Figure Four from the mat for the submission at 8:15.

Rating: D. The match was pretty bad but it’s understandable if Fandango got hurt halfway through it. I can even forgive the lack of a Skull Crushing Finale as you don’t want Fandango’s injured face going straight into the mat. Not much to see here but it’s a bit more understandable given the circumstances.

Booker T gives Daniel Bryan a pep talk but thinks maybe Bryan should give up his title match. Bryan: “Tell me you didn’t just say that.” It’s about Bryan’s life, not the title. Booker warns that HHH and company could ruin his life.

We recap Heyman/Axel vs. Punk from last week.

Dolph Ziggler vs. ???

Ziggler is here for a match but Dean Ambrose jumps him from behind and sends Ziggler into the post. Ambrose says Dolph needs to show more respect. Here’s Dolph’s opponent.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Ryback

Ziggler says he can go but walks right into an overhead belly to belly. Ryback pounds away at the back of his head and tosses Ziggler around by the hair. Dolph is stomped down as the idiot fans tell Ryback that he can’t wrestle. The Meat Hook is blocked by a dropkick followed by a Stinger Splash and right hands in the corner. Not that they matter though as the Meat Hook takes Dolph down and Shell Shock is good for the pin at 3:06.

Rating: D+. Again no time to go anywhere here but it sets up Ziggler vs. Ambrose at the PPV for the US Title. Ryback can be fine as a guy who just beats up various people until he has an actual feud with someone standing up to him. Also it’s a good idea to have Ziggler beaten down in advance to build sympathy for him.

Brad Maddox tells Stephanie and HHH that Big Show isn’t willing to fight Bryan tonight. Stephanie will deal with this in public.

Here’s Stephanie to deal with Big Show. She talks about how Big Show helped her grow up

backstage as a kid and how much she respects him. Big Show comes out and is told sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to. She reminds him that he’s broke due to handing out too much money and some bad investments.

The iron clad contract doesn’t work if he doesn’t perform and his career can’t go on much longer due to getting older. How many other jobs are there for people his size? Stephanie says that the reality for Big Show is he won’t live that long because of his size, so he needs to take care of his family while he can. I have no idea what to say to that. Stephanie hugs him and Big Show is about to cry.

Edge will be back next week for one night only. Cool.

Big Show broke a lot of stuff during the break.

Here’s how to download the WWE App because the WWE thinks you’re stupid.

3MB vs. Prime Time Players

It’s Slater and Mahal for 3MB tonight. Slater starts with Titus and is quickly launched into the corner. Titus stomps him down and blows the whistle at the same time (Cole: “Whistle while you work!”) before it’s off to Young. Mahal comes in and gets caught in an atomic drop for two. The announcers of course ignore the match to talk about Big Show and his contract.

Young gets taken down and triple teamed by the Band with Slater getting two off a neckbreaker. Mahal comes in to drop a bunch of knees to the chest but Slater charges into an overhead belly to belly suplex. The hot tag brings in Titus who gets two off a big boot to Mahal. Everything breaks down and the Clash of the Titus gets the pin on Mahal at 5:28.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here again but it’s better than the Real Americans losing over and over again. The Players are probably going to get a title shot assuming the Shield keeps the belts that much longer. They’re not bad in the ring or anything and the fans are into the dance so no complaints for the most part.

Brad Maddox is on the phone when Heyman comes in and says get off. Heyman isn’t pleased with the idea of having to face Punk at Night of Champions because he’ll disappear if Punk gets his hands on him. He wants an explanation but here’s HHH to say he approved that match. Heyman’s tone changes as he asks why HHH made the match. HHH talks about how it’s what the fans want and maybe Heyman can weasel his way out of it.

Bray Wyatt talks about the story of Icarus flying too close to the sun and melting his wax wings. Kane tried to get too close to the Wyatt Family and it was like a lamb being led to the slaughter. Kane made his bed and now he’s burning in it.

Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton

If Cody loses he’s gone. Orton pounds away in the corner to start and takes him down with a clothesline. Rhodes is draped over the top rope and sent out to the floor, but he sends Randy into the steps for a breather. Cody cranks on the arm and gets two off a dropkick before pounding away in the corner. Orton gets choked on the ropes but comes back with a poke to the eye for two. More right hands have Randy in control but Cody comes back with a release front suplex and right hands of his own in the corner. Orton hits the backbreaker out of said corner to send Cody to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Orton throwing Cody back inside for two but Cody comes back with an elbow to the jaw and an uppercut to put Rhodes down. A springboard missile dropkick gets a close two and the Disaster Kick gets the same. Orton sidesteps the moonsault press and puts Cody down with the Elevated DDT. The RKO is countered into the Cross Rhodes out of nowhere for a VERY close two. I thought that was it. The fans are WAY into Cody here but Orton snaps his throat across the top rope. Back in and Rhodes gets two off a rollup but another Disaster Kick misses and the RKO connects for the pin at 13:35.

Rating: B. When you have me believing that Cody Rhodes could beat Randy Orton, you’re doing something right. I’m not sure where they’re going to go with Cody now as he got a good rub here but apparently he’s gone for a bit due to the loss. Either they’re going back on what they said or he’s really taking time off for some reason. Still though, good match here.

HHH comes out to praise Cody but fires him anyway. The fans chant for Cody as he limps to the back.

Here’s CM Punk with a kendo stick and something to say. He says “I promise” which are words that don’t mean much to a lot of people around here. Punk says he’s tired of empty threats and that he’s having trouble of trying to come up with what to say next. Right now he doesn’t want to wrestle because he wants to fight. He wants to fight Paul Heyman and if he has to go through Curtis Axel to do so then that’s fine with him.

After what happened last week, even he doesn’t want to fight himself right now. Punk guarantees that in 13 days, he’s going to get what he wants. Heyman has been talking about Punk breaking his heart, but at Night of Champions Punk is going to break Heyman’s face. He promises.

We look at Heyman attacking Punk last week.

Big Show comes in to apologize to Bryan for the match tonight but Bryan understands and says he’ll win.

We recap AJ’s promo from last week on the Total Divas. It’s going to be interesting to see who is supposed to be cheered in this story.

Natalya vs. Naomi vs. Brie Bella

The winner gets AJ at Night of Champions. AJ comes out for commentary and Natalya gets a quick rollup for two on Naomi. Brie hits her X-Factor for two on Naomi as well as AJ talks about how worthless the Total Divas are. Naomi tries a sunset flip on Brie but Natalya sends the Bella to the floor. The Sharpshooter is countered into a small package for two but Natalya catches Brie coming off the top with a cross body. Naomi hits the Rear View on Natalya but AJ comes in for the DQ at 1:48. Fourway for the title I guess.

The Total Divas beat AJ down and leave her laying.

Los Matadores are still coming.

Damien Sandow vs. Rob Van Dam

Since RVD hasn’t beaten Sandow enough times already. Sandow pounds away in the corner and hooks a quick chinlock. More stomping ensues until Van Dam comes back with some kicks to the face. Cue Del Rio for a distraction, allowing Damien to knock Rob to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Rob fighting out of a chinlock, only to be put right back in the same hold. Rob fights up again but gets caught in an Edge-O-Matic for two. The Russian legsweep and Wind-Up Elbow get the same and it’s off to a double chicken wing. Rob fights up again and kicks Sandow down before getting two off Rolling Thunder. Damien gets snapped across the top rope and the Five Star gets the pin at 10:06. Del Rio never did anything.

Rating: D+. I’m tempted to just skip Sandow’s matches from now on. I haven’t thought he could win a singles match in weeks and there was no reason to assume he was going to do so here either. I believe his last singles win was in June, but we’re supposed to buy him as a world title contender. Hopefully he loses the case or something soon.

Stephanie makes the obvious fatal fourway for the title shot at the PPV.

We recap tonight’s show.

Cody is escorted from the building by security and admits that Orton was the better man. He rants about how much the McMahons have hated the Rhodes over the years and walks away.

The roster comes out to watch the main event again.

Daniel Bryan vs. Big Show

Big Show doesn’t want to do this so Bryan goes after him, only to be shoved down. Bryan comes right back at him again with Big Show shouting don’t make him do this. Show throws him to the floor with Big Show saying calm down. Bryan comes back in again and takes Show down with some kicks, only to have Big Show LAUNCH him off in a kickout. The running dropkick in the corner has Big Show staggered but Bryan charges into a superkick. There are the chops to Bryan’s chest and a hard slam for good measure.

Show tells Daniel to stop fighting but Bryan keeps coming at him. Bryan dropkicks the knee out and fires off the kicks. A short DDT gets two but Big Show powers out again. Bryan goes up but dives into a shoulder to the ribs. Show loads up the WMD but starts to walk away. This draws out HHH and the Shield with the Game saying get back in the ring right now. Show keeps going as Shield gets in and beats Bryan down for the DQ at 5:56.

Rating: C-. This was fine but as usual there’s only so much you can do with Bryan against a guy this size. The match wasn’t all that bad and Bryan did what he could, but this was all about the story instead of the match. There’s nothing wrong with that, but on a night with some pretty lame wrestling we needed more than this.

Post match Big Show is about to cry again when HHH says knock Bryan out. Show loads up the punch but rolls to the floor instead. Stephanie meets him in the aisle and says think about his family which sends Big Show back inside. HHH tells him to knock Bryan out again and after showing off his Knucklehead level acting chops, Big Show knocks Bryan out. This would be the sixth consecutive show ending with Daniel Bryan laid out since he won the WWE Championship. Show leaves but here’s Orton to stand over Bryan to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was exhausting. For one thing it was the return of the WWE App as the announcers spent a long time explaining how great it was and how much we needed to download it. The match quality was pretty horrible other than the Orton match and the main event but that’s to be expected anymore. This is another example of how the show would be on fire if these were two hour shows but at three hours, the show is just extra warm.

Results

The Miz b. Fandango – Figure Four

Ryback b. Dolph Ziggler – Shell Shock

Prime Time Players b. 3MB – Clash of the Titus to Mahal

Randy Orton b. Cody Rhodes – RKO

Natalya vs. Brie Bella vs. Naomi went to a no contest when AJ Lee interfered

Rob Van Dam b. Damien Sandow – Five Star Frog Splash

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

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E-Book Feedback Wanted

This is something I just don’t get, though I’m not complaining about it.I’ve been looking at my e-book sales (thank you all for buying any of them you have) and something is clear: the History of Starrcade is blowing everything else away in terms of popularity.  Last month, when the prices were all equal, it sold more than the other three combined.  Is it something about Starrcade or is it WCW or is it something else?  Should I do more WCW shows?

 

Also in general what do you want me to cover in the future books?

 

Any answers are greatly appreciated

 

KB




On This Day: August 31, 2012 – Smackdown: Back When Sandow Was Losing In Longer Matches

Smackdown
Date: August 31, 2012
Location: Resch Center Arena, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

After last week’s huge mess, hopefully Smackdown can turn things around tonight. Last week was one of the worst shows I can remember in a long time, which is a shame as I used to love Smackdown. Anyway, we’re getting very close to Night of Champions now and unfortunately, Del Rio hasn’t been hit by a bus or anything like that to keep us from having to sit through another title shot for him. Let’s get to it.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine at the moment is Del Rio vs. Sheamus. I can’t stand this feud and about 80% of that is on Del Rio.

Orton vs. Ziggler later. Gee I wonder how that’s going to end.

Here’s Sheamus to open the show. First up, he needs to praise HHH. Sheamus isn’t sure what HHH’s future holds but he has Sheamus’ respect. HHH is the embodiment of a champion, which is everything Del Rio isn’t. This brings out Damien Sandow of all people. He talks about how Sheamus is as ignorant as he is enormous because of his praise of HHH.

He goes on about Sheamus and HHH promotes a stereotype to the WWE Universe but Sheamus cuts him off. The champ doesn’t want to hear Sandow yap for twenty minutes so why not come into the ring right now and have a fight. Sandow says Sheamus isn’t worth his time but here’s Booker with a dissenting opinion. He makes Sandow vs. Sheamus for later, which is already more exciting than anything else from last week.

Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes

Cody talks about how Rey is just like Sin Cara, hiding behind a mask. Rhodes uses his power advantage to start but he ducks his head, letting Rey get in a kick to the face. Cody sends him out to the floor and we take a break. Back with Cody hitting a spinning suplex for two. A release gordbuster gets two followed by some knees to the back and a chinlock.

Cody goes for the mask but gets sent face first into the buckle. Rey speeds things up and hits a seated senton followed by a big kick to the head for two. A knee to Rey’s head gets two but Mysterio kicks Cody into 619 position. Cody catches Rey’s legs but Rey counters the counter into a sunset flip for the pin at 5:31 shown of 9:01.

Rating: C. This was fine. It’s nice to see Cody having an actual story on Smackdown instead of doing nothing on Superstars every other week. I didn’t catch anything being mentioned about Rey and Cody’s history, although at least we’re hearing about how Cody used to be obsessed with his looks to give a reason to the Sin Cara feud.

Cody beats up Rey post match until Cara makes the save and puts a Sin Cara mask on Cody.

We get the first anger management segment from Monday.

Kaitlyn vs. Natalya

Eve is on commentary. Nattie takes her down with a headlock to start and the place is eerily quiet. Kaitlyn shoulder blocks her down and they head to the floor where Kaitlyn gets her head slammed into the floor. Natalya hooks an abdominal stretch and slaps Kaitlyn’s side which has to hurt bad. Kaitlyn comes back with some armdrags but Natalya clotheslines her down. The Canadian runs her mouth and gets small packaged for the pin at 2:45. Getting extra time is helping the Divas a tiny bit but this was more about Eve, who spent the whole match being the corporate suckup, which does nothing for me at all.

Booker is worried about the pressure of being Raw GM is getting to AJ. He says the match between Jericho and Ziggler never should have been made. Vickie comes up and says this is more proof that AJ needs to go. Sweet Christmas enough with the power struggle storylines already.

Raw ReBound talks about Punk/Lawler/Cena from Monday.

Anger management segment #2.

Sheamus vs. Damien Sandow

Sandow is taken into the ropes to start and requests that the referee does his job. Sandow tries to take it into the corner but Sheamus grabs his beard. To avoid getting punched in the face, Damien drops to the floor and things slow down again. The champ starts running him over with shoulders and Sandow heads to the floor again. This time Sheamus is tired of waiting so he goes out after Damien, only to have his knees sent into the steps by Sandow.

That gets an eight count and Sandow stomps away back inside. Off to a chinlock which Sheamus breaks pretty quickly. A regular neckbreaker (as opposed to the double arm version) gets two for Sandow and it’s back to the chinlock. This one is broken even faster and Sheamus starts his hard hitting offense.

Damien bails to the floor for the third time but Sheamus throws him right back in and hits the ten forearms. A slingshot shoulder block to the back gets two and Damien heads to the floor for I think the fourth time. White Noise is escaped and the Brogue Kick is ducked. Sandow rolls to the floor and sprints up the ramp for the countout at 6:51.

Rating: C. This wasn’t a great match, but it was a logical one. The idea of Sandow not being able to hang in a fight with Sheamus makes perfect sense and having him constantly trying to run and clear his head was a nice touch. This is exactly what Sandow needs: to be able to rub elbows with bigger names. He didn’t need to win here and certainly shouldn’t have, but having him in there is a good step in the right direction.

Prime Time Players vs. Justin Gabriel/Tyson Kidd

Kidd and Gabriel have matching yellow shirts which look like dresses on them. Kidd and Titus get things going as the Usos Tout about how they should be #1 contenders. Off to Young vs. Gabriel after the starters do nothing of note. Justin takes Young to the mat after making a blind tag, allowing Kidd to kick Darren in the face.

Off to Titus who powers Tyson down and brings Darren back in. The Players are very good about tagging in and out quickly. Tyson sends Young into the corner and tags out to Justin. An STO puts Darren down and Justin loads up the 450, only for Titus to distract him. Darren crotches Gabriel and hits the fireman’s carry gutbuster for the pin at 3:13. This one looked better as he launched Gabriel into the air and Justin was in free fall when he hit the knees.

Rating: C. I know I’ve used that rating a lot tonight but this was exactly what the rating implies: it was ok and right in the middle. I do like that the guys in the tag division are actually getting a little time every week. If nothing else it lets a lot more guys get on TV as opposed to showing up every other PPV and have a title defense that means nothing. These matches don’t exactly equal the Harts vs. the Bulldogs but they’re an improvement over what we’ve been getting the last few years.

The final anger management segment airs. Kane’s explanation of his history is still hilarious.

Here’s Del Rio with something to say. Alberto brags about beating Orton last week but doesn’t care to be reminded that Sheamus has beaten him every time. Del Rio threatens Josh but here’s Kane for protection I guess. Kane says he’s here to apologize for attacking Josh at Summerslam. Teddy comes out and makes Kane vs. Alberto.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kane

This is joined in progress after a break but it doesn’t look like we missed much. Kane pounds on Del Rio in the corner but Alberto comes back with some kicks to the legs. Kane comes back with a low dropkick to the head for two and an uppercut that sends Del Rio to the apron. Del Rio rams Kane’s arm into the buckle and follows it up with a kick to the shoulder. Kane will have none of that and hits a sidewalk slam to set up the top rope clothesline for no cover. Kane loads up the chokeslam but Ricardo pulls Kane’s leg. The distraction lets Del Rio hit a Backstabber for the pin at 2:46.

Post match Kane snaps and chokeslams Josh, but he apologizes while he does it.

HHH video from Raw.

Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler dropkicks Randy down to start and struts a bit. Dolph shows off a bit so Randy dropkicks him down as well in a nice touch. A slingshot suplex gets two on Dolph but Ziggler comes back with a neckbreaker and some elbow drops. Orton wins a slugout and fires off his clotheslines. The powerslam sets up the elevated DDT but Ziggler counters. Ziggler doesn’t get back inside though and Orton pulls him to the top rope for a superplex.

That only gets two and Ziggler comes back with a jumping DDT for another near fall. The crowd is starting to get into this. Dolph charges at Randy but gets caught in the Elevated DDT for another two. Orton was laughing while he hit that which was kind of a nice touch. They head to the floor with Ziggler being thrown over the announce table. Back inside and Ziggler misses the Zig Zag, allowing the RKO to pin him at 7:10.

Rating: C+. This was a fast paced main event style match, but man alive did they have to have Ziggler lose AGAIN? Orton is leaving for a few months to film whatever the next WWE movie is. Ziggler is indeed Mr. MITB and probably will win the title before the year is over, but as always in WWE, the idea seems to be to have him lose time after time so he can surprise everyone and win it all back at once. You know, because no heel can look strong in WWE and they all have to be cowards that steal every win they get.

Vickie immediately announces that Dolph is still Mr. MITB and says he did a good job. Yes, make sure you hammer in that the guy who is going to get a title match is such a loser.

Overall Rating: C+. This wasn’t a great show at all but man alive was it better than last week. It’s amazing how much better things are when you don’t have Alberto and Sheamus interacting. Seeing Sandow getting a match against the champ, even when he was mostly dominated and lost, was a good sign that there are big things in his future. This show toned down the stupid stuff and they got a better show out of it.

Results

Rey Mysterio b. Cody Rhodes – Sunset Flip

Kaitlyn b. Natalya – Small Package

Sheamus b. Damien Sandow via countout

Prime Time Players b. Justin Gabriel/Tyson Kidd – Fireman’s carry gutbuster to Gabriel

Alberto Del Rio b. Kane – Backstabber

Randy Orton b. Dolph Ziggler – RKO

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at: