This is very old and not very well done.

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 30, 2010
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the 900th episode and Raw and Smackdown both will be there. Surprisingly enough this is only a two hour show though. There hasn’t been much announced for this, so let’s get to it.

We open up by YET AGAIN being told how awesome Raw is. Vince, let it go. Mainstream media flat out does not care, so stop trying to make them accept you. It simply isn’t going to happen.

Cole says the 900th consecutive week. We’ll ignore the preempted shows and the Best of shows I guess.

5 on 5 elimination match with Nexus vs. Sheamus, the Canadian duo, Orton and Cena. Good to see they’re not overkilling the match before Survivor Series.

Here’s Bret to open the show, which makes sense since this is a show about old school. He talks about how great Raw is and how many records it holds etc. Bret says only Taker was on the first show also, cueing Kane. This is a new pairing if nothing else. Baldie says there is no more phenom because he hasn’t meant anything since he beat Shawn at Mania.

Kane talks about how Bret hated Shawn etc. Bret can’t wait for Taker to beat Kane like he always does. Good line and simple. Old guys know how to talk. Kane says he needs to take out an icon like Taker did, so he grabs Bret. Hart Dynasty comes out for the save but gets knocked back with ease. Bret does better but the lights go out.

I’m sure you know who’s in the ring now as we get the staredown. Taker looks like he’s about to cry and Kane bails. Cue the e-mail and tonight it’s Bret….vs. Taker? Well that’s the biggest name Taker has never been able to beat, so that fits pretty well.

We go back to the first episode of Raw for some clips which are always fun.

Back from a break and we see the zamboni incident, which was the night after Taker and Kane beat Austin in a triple threat at I think Unforgiven.

Michael McGillicutty/Kofi Kingstonvs. Daniel Bryan/Kaval vs. Miz/Alex Riley

Someone get me a boat to navigate the river of semen in the IWC at this point. Miz has a sweet new shirt with an id sticker on it saying “Hello I’m AWESOME!” I would totally wear that and I haven’t bought a WWE shirt in over 10 years. It’s a very fast paced match that I won’t even bother trying to keep track of.

Everything goes insane and Kaval hits a sweet rolling kick to Riley, setting up the Warrior’s Way. Cue in Miz for the Skull Crushing Finale to end it on Kaval. Bryan takes the MITB case to the head post match.

Rating: C+. It was very fast paced and worked rather well I thought. This was designed to get the crowd going and to give us a look at the NXT guys. It did that in just a few minutes which is always a good thing. Quick match but certainly entertaining and it kept my attention, making it a win.

Laycool vs. Melina/Eve Torres

Well you can’t say they’re not attractive. Melina pins Layla in maybe 40 seconds with a rollup. Well ok then.

Michelle throws out the predictable challenge for the unification match at NOC but doesn’t say which member of Laycool is it. Melina insists it’s a lumberjack match. The Divas all come out and stand by her to end this segment.

Another Raw moment is Nexus beating down Cena, which is a big moment but dang man there are bigger ones than that.

Nexus is in the back and there are only five of them given Sheffield’s injury. Barrett says they have to do something to remember tonight and says he knows what it is but doesn’t say what it is.

We get another “historical” moment, this time the Bob Barker hosted show. Ok they’re stretching here methinks.

Jericho talks about how he says he’s great because he is great. If he doesn’t win the title at NOC, he’s gone. Josh says Jericho has been thrown out or fired at least a dozen times now, making me laugh. Jericho says watch what he’s going to do tonight.

John Morrison/R–Truth vs. Cody Rhodes/Drew McIntyre

Well this was unexpected. Something tells me Morrison is going to do something of note here. It’s a big brawl almost immediately and there’s a double DQ. This was for the #1 contenders slot so screw that apparently. Truth dives over the ropes to take out Rhodes. Was there a point to this at all?

Another Raw moment is Bret and Shawn making up. This is a legit major moment so I’ll give them that.

Undertaker vs. Bret Hart

Taker’s robe is a bit different now as he has the hood and sleeveless thing again, meaning no trenchcoat. And here’s Nexus. Ok make that just Barrett. He says it’s about the future and not ht epast, so he goes after Taker. Barrett gets knocked to the floor and then the lights go out. Kane is here and they slug it out, which Kane wins to a degree.

Taker goes for a chokeslam and there go those lights again. Someone really should look into that. Kane is gone (as is Bret) and here’s Nexus. Taker fights them off and has Barrett ready for the chokeslam but the lights go out AGAIN. We come back and Barrett has him up in the Wasteland. Kane is on the stage as it hits. A 450 hits Taker and he can’t quite sit up.

If you can’t tell this show has more or less sucked beyond belief so far.

Here’s Jack Swagger. Dang he’s fallen since the summer.

Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne

As Bourne makes his entrance, Cole lists off MORE shows that Raw has been on the air longer than with Lawler saying Friends only had 236 or some odd shows. I’m not even going to go into the rant about why that’s incredibly stupid because here’s Alberto Del Rio of all people with his full car entrance and pyro. He even gets a split screen. Air Bourne misses and Swagger gets the ankle lock for the tap. We saw maybe a minute combined of the in ring action without a split screen, meaning no rating.

Del Rio cuts off Swagger’s music and talks about how he got rid of Rey. However since none of the Raw fans saw it he’s going to recreate it here. He grabs a chair and Evan is in trouble. MARK HENRY of all people comes out for the save. Ok him just punching the chair out of Del Rio’s hand was in fact very cool.

We get a video about the China tour, which is indeed awesome.

This is Your Life Rock, which is actually a cool moment.

The Straight Edge Society is here, and Punk is better than The Rock. Punk says that Raw has pushed negative family values, and he has two words to prove it: Katie Vick. “If you don’t know who that is, Youtube it. It’ll drive you to drink and then you can come see me.” He has a list of four things that WWE has been bad about over the years.

Property Damage: HHH breaking into Orton’s house.

General irresponsibility: Cena throwing Edge in the water. Punk talks about never throwing anyone into water (with the joke of course being that he won a match like that against Chavo in ECW)

Tresspassing: DX invading WCW.

The last one is exhibit D for drunkenness, which is due to the beer bath…..on SANTINO. Yeah they picked that one instead of what was voted the #1 Raw moment back at the tenth anniversary show.

Punk makes fun of Austin and CUE GLASS SHATTERING!

And he’s not here. Punk literally rolls on the mat with laughter. He asks if the fans feel empty inside now, because that’s how he feels with every one of the fans. Punk has one more clip, which is the ring breaking thanks to Show and Lesnar. It’s to bash Show and he won’t say Lesnar’s name.

Show comes out and he mentions Eddie and a burrito. He wants to know why Punk picked a fat joke when he’s done all kinds of stupid stuff. We get a Show promo about the SES as Hulk Hogan. Show clears the ring of course and we go to a break.

HHH’s return in 2002 was in fact amazing.

Sheamus comes out to talk on the ramp. Surprisingly he doesn’t get a big pop since we’re in Boston. He mentions HHH and says he’s never coming back. Here comes Edge, who gets a BIG face pop. He talks about how many moments he’s had on Raw and all that jazz which is true. Edge also says Sheamus should go back to the lab with Dr. Bunsen Honeydew. Total face promo here.

Sheamus/Randy Orton/John Cena/Edge/Chris Jericho vs. Nexus

This is elimination rules and the bell rang at 10:59. Jericho walks out after a few seconds and it’s 5-4. Edge immediately shoves the referee and it’s 5-3. Tarver and Cena are in now and Cena dominates for the most part. Sheamus beats up various people for awhile and this is just awful. High Cross is blocked and Nexus takes over. SLATER PINS SHEAMUS! Totally clean for the most part too. He hit his finisher and that was it. Hokey smoke.

FU gets rid of Slater. Big beatdown and Cena is in trouble. Otunga goes out to the STFU. 450 to Cena and he’s out! Orton vs. Gabriel, Barrett and Tarver. Make that Barrett and Tarver as an RKO takes out Gabriel. It’s Barrett vs. Orton now. That happened in less than 15 seconds. Wasteland and it’s over. Less than a minute passed between Cena’s elimination and the end of the match, which included the eliminations of Gabriel, Tarver and Orton.

Rating: F+. Just a total reversal of what we saw at Summerslam. This was boring and not interesting in the slightest, although BIG props for the clean pins on the three mega stars from the non-Nexus team. Those were very unexpected and made them look like they were human. That being said, the match was just awful. Three eliminations in about 40 seconds? Seriously? Just a bad match if there ever has been one and a fitting end to an awful Raw.

Overall Rating: D-. Just a horrible show all around. Punk’s promo and segment is the only good thing this had going for it really. For a special, there were so many quick matches that you barely remember anything about, including one that was about 12 seconds long. The main event was just bad all around but to be fair they did get the point of NOC across.

Shame that it two me about a day to get that idea. The lack of wrestling and the lack of nostalgia hurt this a lot as apparently barely anything has happened other than in the last two years. This could have been worse but not by much. Punk’s promo was all that made this passable, which is saying a lot since he’s a Smackdown guy. Bad show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

NXT
Date: August 29, 2012
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton, William Regal

It’s time for the title match tonight and I’m actually somewhat excited. This change officially turns NXT into its own regular promotion which is what it needed for the last year and a half or so. It’s Jinder Mahal vs. Seth Rollins for the inaugural title, which is a matchup I didn’t think I’d like. Mahal is growing on me as a basic foreign heel and Rollins….well he’s energetic. Let’s get to it.

Jason Jordan/Mike Dalton vs. Hunico/Camacho

Jordan/Dalton won the first match between these teams. Regal calls the fans the NXT Universe now. Great. Now we’re hearing the same stupid lines from NXT that we hear on Raw and Smackdown. Jordan and Camacho start us off with Jordan getting in some basic offense before walking into a pretty good spinebuster. Camacho pounds on Jordan’s face and suplexes him down to bring in Hunico.

Back to Camacho after nothing of note and the bigger guy throws Jordan around with a nice butterfly suplex. A legdrop gets two but Jordan escapes a suplex and tags in Dalton. Dalton hits a spinwheel kick and a charge in the corner, followed by a hurricanrana for two. A missile dropkick gets two on Hunico and everything breaks down. As Jordan is being put back on the apron, Camacho hits Dalton from behing, allowing Hunico to hit his version of an Angle Slam for the pin at 4:00.

Rating: C. This was your run of the mill tag match between four guys who aren’t that interesting but they made it work well enough. Hunico and Camacho are fine for a low level tag team and giving the unknowns a win over them in the first match was a good way to give Dalton and Jordan some exposure. As is the case with almost everyone on NXT though, they need ring time.

Here are the Usos with something to say. They call out the Ascension and as the lights go out for Ascension’s entrance, Ascension runs in from behind and jumps the Usos, laying them out with relative ease.

Raw ReBound is about Punk vs. Lawler. I’m still curious as to when Cena forgot hot to climb a cage.

Big E. Langston vs. Chase Donovan

A clothesline and that falling slam thing gets the pin at 40 seconds. He really needs to change finishers. A powerslam would be fine.

The locker room comes out to watch the title match.

Langston says nothing.

Howard Finkel is doing the announcing for the main event.

Dusty comes out and JR is now on commentary.

NXT Championship: Jinder Mahal vs. Seth Rollins

They have a ton of time for this. Fink may be fat and older now (he’s only 62 so he’s hardly ancient), but that voice is still perfect. Mahal won’t shake Dusty’s hand before the match. Rollins tries to take him to the mat to start but Mahal gets back up quickly. A dropkick puts Mahal down again and Rollins hits a hard chop. Mahal gets sent to the floor but he avoids a dive and sends Rollins face first into the apron. A suplex onto the ramp has Rollins in trouble and we head back in.

We take a break and come back with Rollins in even more trouble. Mahal stomps him down and hits a backbreaker to start setting up the camel clutch. Rollins gets choked against the ropes and the fans are behind Rollins now. He tries a comeback but gets kneed in the face by Mahal to take him back down. The camel clutch is escaped so Mahal pounds him in the back again. An enziguri out of nowhere puts Mahal down and Rollins punches Jinder down.

Mahal goes up for another knee but Rollins knocks him off the top and out to the floor. Rollins hits a HUGE dive to the floor and both guys are down. Back in and Seth goes up again, only to get crotched and superplexed from the top. We take another break and come back with the two of them slugging it out. Mahal might have a bad knee but he pulls off a sitout slam for two. A full nelson slam is countered and Rollins goes to the apron.

Seth hits an enziguri to the head and a running knee for two. The near falls are getting closer and closer here. A running forearm in the corner staggers Mahal but he manages to drop Rollins face first into the buckle. The low superkick (I think he calls it Avada Kadavra, making Rollins awesome) gets two. Phoenix Splash (moonsault into a 450) misses and Mahal hits the full nelson slam for two. Rollins gets to the rope before the clutch can go on and Rollins rolls him up for two. Rollins comes back with the buckle bomb and the Blackout out of nowhere for the pin and the title at 14:24 shown of 21:24.

Rating: B. I’m still not wild on Rollins’ in ring work but the fans are into him and he’s not dull. He also needs a new finisher as the Blackout looks pretty forced to put it mildly. As for the match though, they did a great job of building both guys up as unbeatable and then having them go at it. The match was very good as far as making you wonder who was going to win and it turned into a good back and forth fight at the end. Not a masterpiece or anything, but for the first NXT Championship, this was more than acceptable.

Fink giving Rollins the NEEEEEEEEEEEEEW treatment makes the announcement much better. The roster puts Rollins on their shoulders to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was all about the main event so I’m not going to really bother thinking about the rest of it. Rollins is a good choice for a first champion as he can defend the title for a few months and then have a big time heel beat him to take the title. This felt like a big show and I wanted to see it, which is the right idea here. I’m very pleased with this and it worked quite well.

Results

Hunico/Camacho b. Jason Jordan/Mike Dalton – Reverse fireman’s carry slam to Dalton

Big E. Langston b. Chase Donovan – Over the shoulder mat slam

Seth Rollins b. Jinder Mahal – Blackout

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

This is something that will make perfect sense if you watch NXT, which you should.Something that WWE is really bad at for the most part anymore is booking week to week television.  Take the Bryan vs. Corporation story.  Every week so far, the events of the show are wrapped up clean and neat before the end of the episode.  The overall story will continue the next week, but the events of one week rarely directly connect to next week’s stuff.  For example: Orton lays out Bryan with an RKO, but the next week that event is barely mentioned and it’s just Bryan trying to get the title back all over again.  It’s very much like a regular TV show with a villain or a hero trying to accomplish the same goal week to week.  In other words, they’re stand alone episodes.

Now on the other hand look at NXT or most older wrestling shows.  The shows are booked week to week, meaning you can’t miss a single episode because things will have changed.  That rewards fans who are around every week and makes for more entertaining TV shows.  For instance in NXT, they alternate with various storylines so you’ll have to come back for a few weeks to get the next part of a story you watched.  This makes for more interesting TV, and if you’ve got a good show, you’ll be brought up to speed every week.  It’s a substantial difference and can really enhance how good a show can be.

NXT
Date: August 28, 2013
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tony Dawson, William Regal

After last week’s great match between Zayn and Cesaro we’re needing a new #1 contender. We’ve seen a showdown teased between Sami and Dallas for awhile now so that might be the best possible option. Either way NXT is capable of coming up with some good programs out of nowhere and odds are they can do it again here. Let’s get to it.

We open with Corey Graves in the back when Rick Victor of the Ascension comes up. Victor talks about how Ascension will rise when Conor O’Brian jumps Graves and crushes his ribs with a piece of the metal set. It’s about time Ascension went after the tag belts.

Welcome Home.

Tyler Breeze vs. CJ Parker

Breeze stands in the corner tonight while CJ Parker dances at him. The fans chant that Breeze is gorgeous and there’s no contact in the first minute. Parker goes after Tyler’s phone, drawing Breeze in to attack him. Tyler dives to the floor to avoid a kick to the gorgeous face and draws in Parker for some shots to the back.

A knee drop gets one for Tyler and it’s time for a picture. Parker picks him up in an airplane spin of all things and a backsplash keeps Tyler in trouble. Two running knees in the chest stagger Breeze but he drops to the mat to avoid another punch. While down there he gets the phone to knock out Parker for the pin at 3:19.

Rating: D. Nothing match as nearly a third was spent in the opening standoff. Breeze continues to amuse me but I don’t care for Parker at all. He’s not a bad idea but he’s done nothing to interest me in the few appearances he’s made so far. Also I wanted to see Breeze’s spin kick again.

Emma says her guaranteed title shot is going to have to wait because she wants to beat up Summer Rae. Then she’s going to blow some bubbles and play some Dance Dance Emmalution. Renee Young: “That’s not a thing.” Emma: “Sure it is you silly rabbit.” Emma is rapidly reaching the too cute for words level.

Tyler Breeze has LEFT the building.

Summer Rae vs. Emma

Emma brings the bubble juice to the ring with her because she’s awesome like that. Emma takes her down by the leg to start but Summer rolls her to the ground and rams Emma’s head into the mat. Emma slips out and slams Summer down for some dancing and a two count. Summer’s face is rammed into the mat a few times but she kicks away from the Dilemma (Tarantula) and takes over.

Rae gets in a kick to Emma’s shoulder and splashes the arm for two. Summer puts on a full nelson with her legs (cool move) but Emma leans back into a near fall for two. Back up and Emma avoids a charge in the corner and puts on the Dilemma (minor ECW chant) followed by a low running cross body for two. Summer is catapulted out of the corner as we go back to the 80s, setting up the Emma Lock (Bridging Indian Deathlock) for the tap out at 4:26.

Rating: C+. I really liked this with a lot of the interesting spots such as the leg nelson and of course the Tarantula always looks cool. The other aspect I like here is how simplistic these characters are yet how well they work. WWE Divas have years on TV and many of them have no defined characters at all. It’s amazing how easy it is to make characters that work yet it’s nearly impossible on WWE TV.

Post match Summer jumps Emma and pours the bubble juice in her eyes for a good old fashioned blinding angle.

Enzo Amore and Colin Cassady get in an argument with Scott Dawson and Sylvester LeFort over who is going to get revenge on Mason Ryan. Dawson asks LeFort when he gets paid again. LeFort: “When you win a match.” Dawson: “…..oh.” Anyway it looks like we’re getting Dawson against Enzo later.

Sasha Banks gets on Summer for what she just did but Summer does her stuck up thing, saying Summerslam was named after her and that she’s a Raw and Smackdown Diva. Sasha can’t even get on NXT so she should be following Summer. Rae brags about how awesome it is to be in the WWE and laughs at Sasha for being stuck down here. Sasha needs to get it together before her match with Paige in two weeks. This sounded like Summer was leaving and a tease of a heel turn for Banks.

Enzo Amore vs. Scott Dawson

Enzo continues his awesome over the top heel schtick by saying he and Cassady got a dime every time they were beaten up as kids, meaning they have ZERO dimes. And they are NOT S-A-W-F-T! The fans of course eat it up with a spoon. Enzo grabs a quick headlock to start but a LeFort distraction allows Dawson to take him down by the hair. Scott drapes him over the top rope and drops a knee for two. Enzo escapes a slam and headscissors Dawson down as Alexander Rusev comes down to jump Cassady. Dawson uses the distraction to hit a quick belly to back suplex (almost an Angle Slam) for the pin at 3:11.

Rating: D. Not much here but Amore continues to be entertaining. For the first time I’m liking the idea of LeFort as a heel manager as a group of clients could work better than similar guys like Dylan and Dawson. I like Rusev too as they don’t veer from the big foreign monster motif with him.

Recap of Zayn vs. Cesaro from last week.

Here’s Sami with something to say. He thanks the fans for chanting Match of the Year but Sami is conflicted about the match because it was great but he lost. The fans want one more match but Renee wants to know what’s next for Zayn. Sami flirts with Renee a bit before saying he wants to be NXT Champion. Cue Bo Dallas who says that a few fans on the internet liking a match doesn’t mean he’s title worthy.

Zayn says he’ll take it from here and wants to know why Bo is out here. Dallas says Sami injured him at Summerslam Axxess because Sami is just so green. Sami calls Bo delusional but Dallas says everyone loves him. Zayn: “They’re booing you out of the building.” Bo: “They’re chanting Bo!” Now the fans chant Boo and Sami accuses Bo of being scared. This brings out Colter, who accuses Zayn of being a border jumper. Swagger runs in from the other side of the arena and beats Sami down. I love Zayn’s presence out there and you can easily tell the difference between rookies and people who know how to handle themselves.

We get a video on the NXT guys at Summerslam Axxess. John Cena praises Adrian Neville.

Adrian Neville vs. Conor O’Brian

Neville is in the match due to the attack on Graves earlier tonight. O’Brian shoves him into the corner to start so Adrian tries to speed things up a bit, hitting a spinning cross body out of the corner for two. Conor slugs him down with ease and Neville is in trouble as we take a break. Back with Conor missing a charge into the corner, allowing Neville to get in some strikes to stagger him. Neville clotheslines him on the top rope but his cross body is caught in a slam for two. O’Brian misses another charge in the corner and Adrian gets two off a belly to back. Neville goes up and hits a 450 for the completely clean pin at 5:25.

Rating: D+. O’Brian went to a draw against Big E. Langston but gets pinned clean in five and a half minutes by Neville? If nothing else Neville gets a good rub here and continues to show he’s more than just a spot monkey. The match wasn’t much but power vs. speed is almost always worth a look.

Post match Victor comes in for the beatdown until Graves comes out with taped ribs, only to be beaten down as well. Ascension stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. As always, this is an hour of really entertaining wrestling. One of the good things on this show is each story has a clear idea. Nothing feels like it’s tacked on to fill in time which is a nice change of pace from the filler matches we get on Raw or Smackdown. Fun show here with NXT looking strong going forward.

Results

Tyler Breeze b. CJ Parker – Pin after a phone shot to the head

Emma b. Summer Rae – Emma Lock

Scott Dawson b. Enzo Amore – Belly to back suplex

Adrian Neville b. Conor O’Brian – 450 Splash

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

This was announced much earlier today but I kept forgetting to talk about it.  That should sum up my feelings about DiBiase being gone. Not a bad guy but he didn’t do anything to separate himself from the pack.

Odds are most of you haven’t seen every episode of Total Divas.  If they make the Total Divas the faces in this, here’s what they’re going to have to overcome from the “reality” show.Nataya – The most insecure, whiny person of all time.  Every episode so far has seen her complain about something, ranging from not getting on Wrestlemania to having to babysit the new girls to her love life.  Some of it is indeed justified, but GET OVER IT already.  For someone who was raised to be in the business and is clearly the best in ring worker from the show, she has a lot of things to whine about.

Trinity/Naomi – She’s the second best in the ring and one of the more likeable girls on the show, but at the end of the day she’s a cheerleader and little more.  At the end of the day though she’s loud and a bit annoying without enough personality to really stand out.  She’d be ok to push on her own and that’s about as good as I can say about her.

That more or less ends the good stuff to say about the cast.

Jojo – Uh…..she exists.  Seriously, she has no personality because she has no screen time on the show.  She seems nice but there’s nothing to her.

Eva Marie – The epitome of what’s wrong with the Divas’ division: she’s annoying, she can’t do a thing in the ring and she’s loud, meaning she’s being pushed.  The first few episodes focused on her bucking authority and lying to get to the top of the division.  She looks good and the red hair helps a lot, but we’ve seen her as a lying manipulative witch who got engaged and then was flirting with Fandango to get a spot on the main roster later that night.  Quite a hero.

Bella Twins – Yeah they’re different on the show but on Raw they might as well be the same person.  These two are EVIL on the show but the worst part about them is they seem very materialistic.  For instance, we spent a full episode with the Bellas going to Cena’s Tampa mansion and then Daniel Bryan’s childhood home in Washington.  While Cena’s place could have been a stand-in for Wayne Manor, Bryan lived in a modest house.  By modest, I mean a house that almost any sane person would be fine spending forty years of their lives in.  Brie Bella’s recommendation: TEAR IT TO THE GROUND because it’s not big enough.  You know, because everyone should be able to afford a multi-million dollar mansion with its own water slide.  Brie is also the person moving to Arizona to spend more time with her dog.

Ariane/Cameron – This is the one that drives me the craziest.  She’s loud, self-obsessed, cares about her looks more than anything else, whines about EVERYTHING, and talks like a stupid 15 year old girl.  For instance she wanted to get breast implants and spent the entire episode referring to them as her *cue stereotypical California valley girl accent* bewwwwwwwwwwwwwbies.  Basically she’s Laycool but FAR less charming.

These are the people that we might have to cheer against AJ.  For the love of all things good and holy, please let that be the case.  It would be GLORIOUS.

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 26, 2013
Location: US Airways Center, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re in a good place in WWE right now with the big story on top and a lot of other good things going on underneath. Tonight needs to be the night that Bryan makes his first stab at the new Corporation after being laid out to end the last three shows. He’s still on fire, but people are only going to cheer a perennial loser for so long. It should also be interesting to see how many people watch this show with Cena not being there. Let’s get to it.

We open with Shield standing at ringside and looking up at the stage. HHH comes out to a face pop and talks about how this is the beginning of a new era. We get a clip from the end of Summerslam with Orton winning the title thanks to the Game. HHH says that was just business before we see a clip of the end of last week’s show. Now that was personal because Bryan insulted Stephanie and the rest of HHH’s family. HHH however is willing to be a bigger man due to the ratings and social media scores being up. In short, business is booming and it’s due to the new face of the WWE: Randy Orton.

Cue Orton to the ring for praise from HHH for bringing new life to the title. HHH has a gift for the new champion: a Cadillac Escalade. Oh I think we all know where this is going. Orton goes to look at the car but here’s Bryan before he gets too far. Bryan says that’s a sweet ride and way nicer than his Honda Fit. It’s well deserved too because Orton worked so hard for the WWE Championship. Bryan thanks all of the fans because he isn’t the biggest or the strongest or the prettiest (“That would be Twinkle Toes Orton”).

They’ve all supported him through everything and he’s grateful, but he also has to thank John Cena for giving him the chance at Summerslam. Lastly Bryan wants to thank HHH for ending the charade and showing his true colors at Summerslam. His view of what was best for business is as narrow minded as Vince McMahon’s. The rebel in the leather jacket is now another corporate suit who thumbs his nose at all the fans. Orton says think about who you’re talking to so Bryan says let’s hear it for the face of the WWE. At Night of Champions, the face is going to be rearranged, just like HHH’s vision for the future of the company.

HHH says that’s a cute fantasy and, I kid you not, sings When You Wish Upon a Star. Unfortunately for Bryan it doesn’t work that way in the real world. In the real world, Orton is an A+ and Bryan is just a B. As for tonight, Bryan can face Seth Rollins. If he beats Seth, then he can face Dean Ambrose. If he beats Dean, he can also face Roman Reigns. I can totally dig Shield as the personal enforcers of the new regime.

We look at the brawl last week between Axel and Punk. They fight for the Intercontinental Title tonight, but the fans get to pick the stipulations. You can pick Heyman as guest referee, Heyman banned from ringside or Punk gets to face Heyman if he wins. There’s no mention of this being a title match, despite it being called that on Smackdown.

Cody Rhodes vs. Fandango

Sandow is on commentary. Fandango tries to take him down to start but gets caught by a running elbow to the face. A front suplex puts Fandango on the apron but he kicks Cody in the face. Cue Fandango’s music with Miz and some girl dancing, allowing Cody to roll up Fandango for the pin at 1:08.

Sandow jumps Cody and Miz comes out for a brawl until Brad Maddox turns into a 60 year old bald black man and makes a tag match.

Damien Sandow/Fandango vs. The Miz/Cody Rhodes

Back with Sandow getting two on Cody before bringing in Fandango for some gyrating shots. Apparently Miz’s dance partner was Rosa Mendes. Back to Sandow for the Russian legsweep and the Wind-Up elbow for two. Cody finally gets in a shot and brings in Miz off the hot tag. Miz cleans house as Fandango walks out. Cody trips up Sandow, allowing Miz to hit the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin on Sandow at 2:56.

Matadores vignette. It’s so cheesy it might work.

Josh Matthews asks Christian about the HHH era. Christian says he survived the McMahon-Helmsley Era and is a bit hesitant to answer that question. Randy Orton pops in and says he’s going to beat Orton tonight. Christian says HHH likes to play with hammers and apparently he’s found a new tool.

If you get some App, you can see what Heyman thinks about the stipulations the fans can pick.

Punk wants to get his hands on Heyman and suggests the fans vote for choice #3.

Heyman doesn’t like the idea of there being a vote. If they’re going to show a segment with Heyman complaining, what was the point of the video on the App? Axel says Heyman shouldn’t be worried because Punk can’t outwrestle him. It’s better than perfect.

Curtis Axel vs. CM Punk

It’s non-title despite Axel challenging him for a title match on Smackdown and Punk saying “I accept.” The third option of Heyman having to face Punk if Axel loses wins with 81% of the vote. Punk goes right after Axel and grabs a headlock but can’t hit the GTS. Axel bails to the floor so Punk charges up the ramp at Heyman, allowing Curtis to get in a cheap shot. Back in and Punk escapes a chinlock and gets two off the knee in the corner. Axel rolls to the floor before the Macho Elbow can be launched but Punk hits the suicide dive as we take a break.

Back with Axel hitting a clothesline to the back of the head for two as Heyman is looking more confident. Punk comes back with kicks to the legs and back followed by a middle rope cross body for two. Axel snaps off a slingshot belly to back suplex for two followed by a snap Saito suplex for the same. Punk grabs a neckbreaker and the Macho Elbow gets two. The GTS is countered into a McGillicutter for another two count but the second attempt at the GTS is good for the pin at 10:52.

Rating: C. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but the ending shouldn’t surprise anyone. It’s not like Axel is allowed to win non-title matches and there was no way he was going to win a match over Punk without shenanigans. Still though, not a terrible match or anything but it was part of a story instead of a match.

Post match Heyman won’t get in the ring until referees and security drag him to the gallows. Heyman blames Brock for the whole thing as Punk throws him inside. Naturally Axel makes the save with a low blow before Heyman gets killed. Heyman pulls out handcuffs to bind Punk’s hands behind his back, allowing Heyman to slap Punk around. He shouts at Punk to fight him so Punk gets up and kicks Axel in the head. Punk kicks Heyman down and gets in some shots to the back but Curtis comes in with a chair for the save.

Now Curtis brings in a kendo stick for Heyman to use. Punk: “MAKE IT COUNT!” Heyman shouts that he fathered Punk and that Punk was everything to him as he beats Punk down with the stick. Axel throws Punk onto the announce table and shouts that Punk deserves this before Heyman pounds away with the stick even more. Heyman shouts that he loved Punk and Punk broke his heart. Heyman is distraught as the fans chant something that sounds like boring. Screw them if that’s what they were chanting because the emotion here was great.

Natalya vs. Brie Bella

JoJo from Total Divas is the ring announcer and we have the rest of the cast at ringside. Brie gets in a few shots, only to be quickly caught in a Sharpshooter. Nikki and Eva Marie distract the referee, triggering a big brawl. Brie hits a quick X Factor for the pin at 1:40.

Post match AJ comes out to make fun of Total Divas before calling the girls interchangeable and useless. They’re on reality TV because they aren’t good enough to be actresses or talented enough to be champions. AJ goes on about how the girls from the show are worthless and aren’t even worthy of lacing up her Chuck Taylors and that is reality. If you’ve watched Total Divas, it’s almost impossible to cheer any of the cast members as they’re anywhere between evil, stupid, liars, money hungry or the pond scum of the earth.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Rob Van Dam

Ricardo has an RVD shirt on as the announcers talk about Edward Snowden for some reason. Apparently Del Rio’s thing now is to have Mexican flags in the corners of the ring. RVD kicks him to the floor and we take an early break. Back with Del Rio working on the ribs and getting two off a German suplex. The champion goes to the middle rope but jumps into a kick to the face, setting up Rolling Thunder for two.

The split legged moonsault gets two more and there’s the springboard kick to the chest. Rob gets crotched on top to break up the Five Star, allowing Del Rio to hit the enziguri for two. Ricardo gets on the announce table to cheer, distracting Del Rio long enough to allow Rob to get a quick rollup for the pin at 8:30.

Rating: D+. This didn’t do much for me which is partially due to the time. Also, I can’t stand the idea of having the champion lose a match basically clean to set up another title shot down the line. It doesn’t make anyone look strong and devalues the title even more. Have Van Dam pin ANYONE else and get the title shot, then have Alberto vanquish the latest challenger. It builds up the title and keeps the champion strong, but why would you want to do that?

We see Cena saying he has to have surgery last week and get some shots of his arm after the operation.

Ryback doesn’t like being called a bully so he grabs Josh Matthews by the face and shoves him to the ground. He says he found a way to shut Josh up.

We look at the Punk/Heyman/Axel stuff for the third time tonight.

Heyman, with blood red eyes, says Punk is like a petulant child who has to be beaten over and over until he learns his lesson. Paul says he feels like a man and now his prodigal son will learn to never come up against him.

Christian vs. Randy Orton

Non-title again. Christian grabs a quick rollup for two but gets taken down by a shoulder block. A quick attempt at the Elevated DDT is countered with a backdrop to the floor followed by the baseball slide. Back in and a reverse DDT puts Orton down, only to have him dropkick Christian off the top. Orton pounds on Christian before draping him over the top rope.

A knee lift puts Christian on the floor before we hit the chinlock for a bit. Christian tries a comeback but gets taken down by a headbutt and it’s back to the chinlock. Christian fights up again and they slug it out with Orton running into an elbow in the corner. In a scary looking spot, Christian goes to the middle rope for a tornado DDT but gets shoved down, bouncing off the apron on the way to the floor.

Back with Orton holding a chinlock before hitting a nice superplex for no cover. Christian grabs a quick small package for two but gets taken down by Orton’s clotheslines. The RKO doesn’t work and Christian gets a quick high cross body for two. Christian’s middle rope dropkick is countered into a jackknife cover for two, only to have Christian counter into a sunset flip for the same.

The Elevated DDT is countered again but Christian can’t hook the Killswitch. A tornado DDT gets two but Orton comes back with the Elevated DDT for two. The RKO doesn’t work and the spear connects for a very close two. The Killswitch is countered and Orton gets in a thumb to the eye, setting up the RKO for the pin at 15:20.

Rating: B-. Good match as usual between these two with things getting much better after the break. Christian is a solid hand to have out there as he can get a good match out of almost anyone. That’s an invaluable thing to have on the roster as Christian doesn’t need a world title to be over, yet the fans are going to cheer for him anyway.

Post match Bryan pops up on screen and says that was an A+ match (B- actually). He says that was such a nice car that HHH gave Orton earlier, but when Orton loses at Night of Champions, will Bryan be the new face of the WWE? Bryan steps to the side to show the word YES spraypainted all over the car. Cole: “Now it’s a YESCalade!”

Back with HHH, Orton and Brad looking at the car. For some reason Brad tells them that the locker room thinks this is hilarious. HHH says that the car and the belt are his personal property. Maddox is told to go to the stage to watch what happens to Bryan tonight. If anyone interferes tonight, they’re fired.

Titus O’Neil vs. Jack Swagger

Colter says if Mrs. Young and Mrs. O’Neil had been responsible, we wouldn’t be looking at an inferior tag team. Swagger takes him into the corner to start and pounds away before taking Titus down with a knee to the ribs. A DDT on the leg keeps Titus down but O’Neil comes back with a bunch of shoulder blocks and a fallaway slam. A chop block sets up the Patriot Lock but Titus quickly kicks him off. Jack’s rollup in the corner with feet on the ropes is broken up by Young, allowing Titus to hit a release spinebuster for the pin at 3:18.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as this feud continues to be completely one sided. The Colter promos are working but they’re being wasted when his guys keep losing every match they have. Then again you can’t have Young or his partner lose because some idiotic group would say they’re punishing him for being gay, because said group will have no idea how wrestling works.

We get a video from WWE.com with the Wyatt Family talking about Sister Abigail, who apparently inspired Bray Wyatt to become what he is today.

We recap the car stuff tonight.

Punk has refused medical attention and comes in to see Brad Maddox. He DEMANDS a match with Paul Heyman but Maddox makes it a handicap elimination match against Heyman and Axel at Night of Champions. If Heyman tries to get out of it, he’s gone. Punk says if Heyman does get out of this, we’ll never see Maddox again.

Daniel Bryan vs. Shield

Under gauntlet rules with Rollins getting the first crack at Goatman. The roster is on the stage to watch and Big Show has nothing to say about his match last week. Ziggler doesn’t say anything either and Miz stops himself before going too far with the criticism. Bryan fires off kicks to start and hooks a surfboard while also cranking on the neck. More kicks to the chest have Rollins in trouble and a Cactus Clothesline puts both guys on the floor. Ambrose and Reigns close in on Bryan, allowing Rollins to drive Bryan into the barricade for control.

Rollins stomps away but Bryan fires off right hands out of the corner. Bryan moonsaults over him to set up the running clothesline and more kicks to the chest. Rollins ducks the big one to the chest and rolls to the apron for a Stunner on the top rope. Bryan ducks the springboard knee and catches Seth in a half crab but he’s too close to the ropes. Rollins rolls to the floor and the FLYING GOAT sends him over the announce table as we take a break.

Back with Rollins holding a chinlock before hitting a running forearm in the corner. He slaps Bryan in the face a few times and tells Bryan to stay down while doing the finger point. Seth goes to the other corner but Bryan charges at him with the running dropkick. Bryan comes back with the kicks and sits on a sunset flip for two. They trade some nice near falls but Seth takes his head off with a jumping enziguri.

An inverted Impaler gets two and Seth loads up a superplex, only to get crotched on the top. Bryan busts out a release German superplex with Rollins landing on his face. The running knee to the head (missed by the camera) gets the pin at 12:00. Ambrose immediately runs in to start pounding away but the YES Lock has Dean in trouble, only to have Reigns make the save at 12:30. Reigns’ match starts but Bryan catches him in a YES Lock right off the bat, only to have Ambrose and Rollins come in for the no contest at about 13:00 total.

Rating: B-. We’ll mostly ignore the last two thirds as they weren’t matches at all. That being said, the Rollins vs. Bryan stuff was really good other than the bad camera work. You can’t have Bryan beat Shield on his own of course and thankfully they didn’t have Ambrose tap out. It can be that simple sometimes but most of the time the champion has to lose.

Post match Shield destroys Bryan with the Triple Bomb as HHH comes out to make sure no one helps Daniel. Cue Orton for the RKO to end the show. This would be four straight shows where our final image is Daniel Bryan laid out.

Overall Rating: B+. Questionable ending aside, I really liked tonight’s show as it was all about the top two stories. The stuff filling in the gaps wasn’t bad either and it made for an entertaining episode. Nothing was overly boring on here and it set up some stuff for the future. I wasn’t wild on the way some of the matches ended, but at least we got some of the results we needed. Really strong show this week.

Results

Cody Rhodes b. Fandango – Rollup

The Miz/Cody Rhodes b. Damien Sandow/Fandango – Skull Crushing Finale to Sandow

CM Punk b. Curtis Axel – GTS

Brie Bella b. Natalya – Bella Buster

Rob Van Dam b. Alberto Del Rio – Rollup

Randy Orton b. Christian – RKO

Titus O’Neil b. Jack Swagger – Release Spinebuster

Daniel Bryan vs. Shield went to a no contest

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

So there’s a new Bray Wyatt video out where he talks about Sister Abigail inspiring him to become what he is today and how he was there for her dying breath.  Check it out and join me after the video.

This video makes you wonder what else has happened to this guy to get him to this point.  Clearly a lot of other stuff has happened in his life and it’s led him here to serve some unnamed purpose.  That’s called a backstory, and the character is interesting enough to make fans want to see more of that story filled in.

Here’s the thing: why don’t you hear more of these?  Today almost all characters start in the WWE.  As in they debut and we know almost nothing about them before they showed up.  Some of them might have been in another sport or “worked through the independent scene” but we very rarely get a background or a look at what happens outside of the WWE.  Look at Fandango for example.  He dances a lot, but did he ever dance anywhere?  If he wants to dance, why is he a wrestler and not a dancer?

One of the few people in recent memory that has had a story is Jinder Mahal.  Yeah odds are you don’t remember this, but he came in and Great Khali started working for him against his will.  It was later revealed that Mahal was Khali’s brother in law and was threatening to shame Khali’s sister with a divorce if Khali didn’t work for Mahal.  That’s not much of a story, but it’s not the same repetitive idea over and over and over again.  It’s refreshing to get something DIFFERENT once in awhile.  At the end of the day, there’s only so much you can do from inside the WWE world.  Bring in some stuff from outside and it’s more interesting.

Superstars
Date: August 23, 2012
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California/Rabobank Arena, Bakersfield, California
Commentators: Scott Stanford, Matt Striker

This is another request and in something rather different, this is from less than a month ago. People ask me to do Superstars more often but you can only do so much of the same WWE stuff over and over again. Anyway this is seemingly a random episode of the show so maybe we’ll get some good action out of it which tends to be the case from this show. Let’s get to it.

For the sake of context, this is four days after Summerslam.

Damien Sandow vs. Yoshi Tatsu

Sandow does his usual schtick about before the match. Yoshi’s music is so catchy it’s unreal. Sandow takes over to start and drops a knee for two. Off to a chinlock but Yoshi quickly breaks it up and comes back with a chop. Sandow ties Yoshi up in the ring skirt and pounds away as Tatsu can’t get anything going here. The best he can get are a few rollups for two and some LOUD chops. A big kick puts Sandow down but the top rope spinwheel kick misses. The Russian legsweep sets up the windup elbow and the double arm neckbreaker for the pin.

Rating: C-. Extended squash here but that’s what something like Superstars is good for. They don’t need to run through a match in two minutes or so and it gives them some more ring time. The problem with that is almost no one gets extended ring time so when they’re asked to do it, they don’t know what they’re doing and the matches usually don’t work.

We get a LONG recap of Lesnar vs. HHH from Summerslam as well as the fallout on Raw.

Drew McIntyre vs. Alex Riley

Drew has a bad hand here and milks it a bit before Riley grabs the wrist. A dropkick puts Drew on the floor but Riley misses a dive. Off to an armbar from McIntyre followed by some stomps to the leg. This is going really slowly. Drew tries the FutureShock but Riley sends him into the corner. Drew heads up but gets rolled up off the top for the pin for Riley out of nowhere.

Rating: D. Drew’s offense is really dull as he just stomped a bit after getting control due to Riley missing a dive. Riley is one of those guys that can’t get on TV for some reason and while I’ve heard various reasons, most of them seem stupid when you have a guy that could do some good for a company with basically no midcard to speak of at times.

Video on the Asian tour.

Video from the end of Raw with Cena confronting Punk before Punk beat up Lawler.

Justin Gabriel vs. Cody Rhodes

This is a rematch from a few weeks ago where Cody won. There’s actually a story here: Justin showed up with a chick and Cody hit on her, setting up the first match. See how easy that is? Both guys feel each other out to start and it turns into a contest of showing each other up. Gabriel gets a rollup for two which Cody takes offense to. They trade some HARD slaps and Gabriel takes Cody down and into a freaky arm trap hold.

Cody gets sent to the floor but he moves before Justin can dive. Unfortunately he moves into position for another dive from Gabriel as we take a break. Back with Gabriel hitting what looked like a dropkick for two. Gabriel goes to the apron but gets his arm snapped across the top rope to give Cody control. He bends Gabriel’s arm over the apron before hitting a gordbuster for two. Cody cranks on the arm a bit more and gets two off an uppercut.

Back to more work on the arm, this time in the form of a hammerlock. Justin starts a quick comeback but misses a top rope Lionsault to give Cody control again. Off to a short arm scissors but Gabriel gets off his back to break the hold. A monkey flip puts Cody down as does a spinning kick to the face. Justin hits a kind of sitout powerbomb for two but a slam is countered into the Cross Rhodes for the pin for Cody out of nowhere. Nice counter.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent match here with a sweet counter to end things. Gabriel is good in this kind of a role: the guy who isn’t going to win a major match anytime soon but he’s got enough speed and ability to keep things interesting. For a main event on Superstars, this was fine.

Overall Rating: C+. This is Superstars in a nutshell: you get some decent wrestling from guys you don’t usually see on WWE TV, but for the most part there’s a reason these guys aren’t on the big shows. They’re not bad at all but they don’t have anything that sets them apart from everyone else. Still though, you won’t regret watching it and if you’ve got roughly 45 minutes to kill and want to watch wrestling, there are far worse things you could pick.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Dude looks pretty good for 68.