Judgment Day 2006
Date: May 21, 2006
Location: US Airways Center, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 14,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

 

Just looking at the card, this is a terribly boring show. This is in the period for the WWE where they were kind of searching for what their next big thing would be but it wasn’t there at all. Cena would win the world title for a year in the fall and ECW was just about to be resurrected. The main event here is Rey vs. JBL for the Smackdown Title. See what I’m up against? Let’s get to it.

 

The opening video is about accepting your fate and the judgment you will face when everything is done. Standard stuff for this show. Tonight is the final of the King of the Ring. I forgot about that. It’s Booker vs. Lashley.

 

The weird part about this show is that the theme song is This Fire Burns, which would be Punk’s music eventually but it means nothing here.

 

Smackdown Tag Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. MNM

 

MNM have the titles here. Melina does her usual sexy entrance. MNM has lost 5 times in a row to Londrick. How in the world are they still champions then? Nice pop for the challengers. London vs. Nitro (Morrison) to start us off. London speeds things way up and the crowd is white hot. The challengers tag in and out very fast as they work the arm of Nitro.

 

Mercury comes in and finally takes over a bit. Shoulder block gets two for Kendrick. Londrick clears the ring and it’s high spot time. Mercury comes back in and avoids a big cross body to give MNM the advantage. Melina lets loose the screams. You can hear Morrison’s push dying with every one. She throws a head scissors on London for two.

 

We hit the chinlock as I guess the future straightedge masked man needs a breather. Collision puts both guys down and it’s a double tag to bring in Kendrick and Nitro. Snapshot to Kendrick (elevate DDT) gets two as London saves. Good thing the referee glared at him in between the 1 and 2 counts to make sure he made the save. Morrison throws a chinlock on Kendrick as we reset things again.

 

Delayed vertical suplex by Mercury gets two on Kendrick. It’s the old school style of “what do we have to do to beat this small man???” which is always good. Off to another chinlock as London plays cheerleader. I’d prefer Melina but I’ll take what I can get. Nitro poses on a cover for two and gets all ticked off. This would be similar to the AGGRESSIVE Morrison we saw a few weeks ago.

 

Chinlock #4 goes on as it’s pretty clear they got a bit too much time in this. Kendrick gets a reversal to send Mercury into Morrison and it’s hot tag London. After cleaning house he gets a dropsault to cover Nitro but Melina comes in and screams for the save. No touching, just stuff with the mouth. Works for me. They can’t get the suplex/hold the foot pin to work so Kendrick totally misses a huge dive and THUDS on the floor. Sick sound too. MNM tries some double teaming but HEEL MISCOMMUNICATION lets London get a jackknife pin on Mercury to give them small dudes the tag titles which they would hold about 11 months.

 

Rating: B. Good match here to be sure but the amount of resting hurt it. This would be a higher grade if Nitro or Mercury was a bit better in the ring but pretty good other than that. Nitro would get a lot better of course while Mercury just kind of floundered for a long time. Melina and the screaming was good too. Fun opener and the crowd was into it the whole time, which is the idea.

 

Melina blames Mercury post match and slaps him. The guys go at it and she kicks Mercury in the head. This is the end of the team I guess. The referee gets a swift kick in the balls too. The pull apart brawl goes on for awhile as Teddy Long goes down also.

 

We get a King of the Ring moment, which is Bret winning the 93 tournament, which I believe was his second.

 

Finlay vs. Chris Benoit

 

These two had a 20+ minute match on Smackdown in the quarterfinals where Finlay cheated to win. LOUD Benoit chant to start us off. They lock up and that is one of the more intense versions you’ll ever see with them heading to the floor without breaking the tieup. Back in the ring and they stare each other down with Benoit being aggressive as is his custom.

 

With the staredown still going on Benoit grabs the legs and tries the Sharpshooter in a nice attempt at a quick win. We hit the mat where Finlay gets to show off a bit which isn’t something you see often out of a brawler like him. We’re in the chinlock early but it’s been a decent opening so I can live with that. This is about technical stuff anyway as they’re moving around while on the mat in this now headlock. There’s a big difference between that and sitting there in a chinlock.

 

Finlay backs off to buy some time to solid heat. Benoit chops away and we hit the mat again with Finlay taking over. Finlay fires off a European uppercut into the back of Benoit. That’s a new one. Benoit slaps the tar out of Finlay, sending him down and here comes our favorite psycho. Knee lifts and chops all around as Benoit hammers him down. Backbreaker gets two.

 

Back to the grappling as this is going to be a long one. In a nice sequence, Benoit has a chinlock on but ever so slowly shifts the arm into position for the Crossface. Notice what he did there: he tried to make Finlay get caught in the hold rather than throwing it on. That’s thinking and showing that Benoit has strategy going for him at the same time. Very good sign there.

 

It’s still a chinlock with a mild arm trap as Finlay has figured it out. Benoit opts for a crucifix instead for two. Big clothesline by Finlay gets two. When Finlay is covering him he drives his knee into Benoit’s face. That has to hurt. Still on the mat now with Finlay grabbing Benoit’s wrists and putting his feet on Benoit’s head to pull back on the arms. The Canadian fights off the Irishman with some Germans. I had to get that in there somewhere.

 

Swan Dive misses according to the replay. On the regular shot of it I thought Finlay got caught but I was proven wrong. Mark your calendars for that as it won’t likely happen again. Dragon Screw Leg Whip looks to lock on the Sharpshooter but Finlay kicks him off. For no apparent reason Finlay hits the floor to get a chair but Benoit gets a baseball slide to drive the chair into him.

 

Back in and the Swan Dive hits this time for two. Benoit gets caught in a Bret chest to the corner shot and Finlay blasts him in the back of the head with a forearm/clothesline for two. Finlay works the neck which is somehow still not healed apparently. Granted it’s been two weeks since Edge had to retire so maybe this isn’t the right time to say that. Earthquake splash gets two.

 

This is a very physical and hard hitting match which is exactly what you would expect from these two. Finlay throws on a combination hammerlock/Dragon Sleeper which is a new one. I like seeing those new holds as you spend so much time looking at them and wondering how much they’re hurting that you forget they’re mainly rest holds. Another shot to the back of the head puts Chris right back down.

 

Benoit is like screw it and fires off forearms (note to ROH guys: FOLLOW THROUGH WITH THE STRIKES!!!) but Finlay goes back to the arm to keep control. We go to the neck again as this has been mostly Finlay. A slam is reversed and it’s Rolling Germans Part Deux the Sequel Resurrection Returns and all other bad titles for sequels. Out to the floor and Finlay grabs that club that I don’t even want to try to spell but Benoit counters with a German on the floor. And people wonder why his brain looked like it was put in a blender on frappe.

 

Back in for Three Amigos which means about ten suplexes so far for Finlay. He does the Eddie chest pat but Finlay knocks him to the floor when he tries for the headbutt again. Another shot to his head as it goes into the barricade this time too. Finlay throws him into the post shoulder first but Benoit counters into the Crossface and we’re done after a twenty plus minute FIGHT.

 

Rating: B+. If you like brawls with technical stuff mixed in, check this match out. This was an incredibly physical match that had psychology all over the place as Benoit kept firing back with insane offense when he was in trouble and at the end it was enough to get the tap out. Very fun stuff here and the amount of time helped it a lot. Very good match and I’d bet on it being the best we get all night.

 

We recap Jillian vs. Melina. Jillian got fired by JBL so Melina was all mean to her and they had a fight with makeup or something.

 

Jillian Hall vs. Melina

 

Jillian is just a hot blonde with a big chest at this point and isn’t yet a singer. Billy Graham is here. Nitro is here with Melina and then he gets thrown out before the bell. Thesz Press by Jillian who is oddly face here. Hennig neck snap to Melina and we hit the floor. All Jillian so far. And never mind as Melina sends her into the steps as I lose all thought as I see that skirt of hers.

 

To anyone expecting anything beyond a TV Divas match here, why in the world are you here? Body scissors by Melina followed by a head snap as I’m just looking at Jillian in the shorts at this point to pass the time. Jillian gets a sunset flip out of the corner despite Melina grabbing the rope for the pin. It’s over at least.

 

Rating: D-. Jillian was hot and Melina was in her Pocahontas gear here so I can’t really say it fails. Just a TV match.

 

Krystal, the backstage interviewer, tries to talk to Melina post match. She’s WAY too perky and you figure out the rest. Krystal beats her up anyway.

 

JBL, who is AMERICAN and US Champion here, says he’s awesome and does his usual I AM AMERICA promo. Chavo pops up to an ERUPTION (what the…..) and JBL yells at him about Eddie or something. Chavo says Viva La Raza and might as well be giving out money to the fans.

 

Another KOTR moment which is Austin winning the crown and igniting a new era with his post match promo.

 

Cruiserweight Title: Gregory Helms vs. Super Crazy

 

Helms is in the middle of his year plus title reign and this is just another title defense. Crazy is part of the Mexicools here so he’s on a lawn mower because….well just because. An Arizona Diamondback is here. We get a Smokey Robinson reference for no apparent reason at all. Jackknife cover gets two for Crazy as does another rollup. La Majistrol gets two.

 

Crazy sends him to the floor with a clothesline and sets for a dive. Nick Patrick stops it so Crazy uses him for a springboard to dive anyway. LET THE ECW CHANTS RING!!! And never mind as a hot shot gets two for Helms as does a neckbreaker. Remember that whole “this is just a TV match” from the previous match? That isn’t the case here. This is the very different LONG TV match.

 

Suplex by Crazy gets no cover as we go back to more holds on the mat. Off to the chinlock as we hear about Crazy winning a triple threat to get here. No word on opponents or anything but I guess they don’t matter. Rollup gets two for Crazy as the fans are mostly deceased. Elbow misses for the champion and Crazy fights back a bit. For a guy named SUPER CRAZY he’s really not that insane.

 

Missile dropkick gets two. Moonsault misses as does the Shining Wizard for the champion. Spinwheel kick gets two as we’re totally killing time here. Helms gets about his 8^th neckbreaker of the match for two. Helms finally gets a snake eyes and rollup with his feet on the ropes to end this.

 

Rating: D+. Rather boring match here as Super Crazy becomes the Scott Steiner of the Cruiserweights. What I mean by that is he used to be good and at this point he’s doing nothing but living off past glory with the same name and one or two of the same moves that are signature things. Nothing of note here at all and a rather weak match.

 

We recap Mark Henry vs. Kurt Angle. Henry is a monster heel here and has splashed Angle through a lot of tables to injure Kurt’s ribs.

 

Mark Henry vs. Kurt Angle

 

Henry sets up the announce table before Angle’s entrance. This was around the time that it was supposed to be Batista vs. Henry but Henry legit hurt Batista. Henry runs down the crowd and is really bad at it to say the least. Kurt takes over to start with a big rush of offense and we hit the mat which makes sense for Kurt to do so I can’t complain there at all.

 

Backdrop is countered by Angle into a sunset flip. Henry misses the drop down to Angle. I think it might have been a combination of him looking at Angle, yelling and then jumping as high as he could. Just a hunch though. To the floor and Angle tries a German through the table which doesn’t work of course.

 

Back in and it’s still almost all Kurt as he takes the leg out and throws on a hold. Tazz uses the eternally stupid line of “everybody is the same size on the mat.” No they’re not. Henry is still a lot bigger than Angle but he’s on the mat now. That doesn’t change the size difference. They get up and Kurt charges at him, only to get knocked down with ease.

 

Henry works on the back with various moves involving dropping down on the ribs with a lot of fatness. Kurt reverses the World’s Strongest Slam into a DDT though to reset things a bit. German sets up an Angle Slam which looked really bad as there was nothing special about it at all and it was really just a modified belly to back suplex. I mean it always is but this looked even worse.

 

World’s Strongest Slam hits but Kurt kicks out again. Henry, showing his offensive range, tries it again but gets reversed into the ankle lock. We hit the floor after a quick reversal and Henry sets for a splash on the table but Kurt rolls away. Henry instead splashes him against the post and wins by countout. Really?

 

Rating: D. Match was short and not very good on top of that. The ending made this a lot worse than it probably was but it saves both guys which helps a bit. Henry was just worthless though as he had no charisma and even less appeal. He was very boring but Vince kept giving him push after push for no apparent reason.

 

Post match Henry tries to splash him again but Kurt snaps and half kills Henry with a chair and the ankle lock w/grapevine. Angle Slam to the table but the table doesn’t break so Mark just falls off of it. BIG chair shot to the head and Henry goes crashing through the table.

 

Sharmell comes up to talk to Booker who likes the idea of being King. She lists off various kinds he’ll be better than such as Tut, Kong and Martin Luther.

 

Video on the King of the Ring, recapping who has been in so far etc.

 

King of the Ring: Booker T vs. Bobby Lashley

 

Booker beat Matt Hardy and got a bye to get here. Lashley beat Mark Henry and Finlay. Booker gets shoved down to start and they circle each other. I mean they circle each other A LOT. Lashley takes over with power shots and Booker can’t outmove him. A shoulder hits the post though and Lashley crashes to the floor. We go into the slowdown stuff here as Booker takes over on the arm.

 

Lashley fights back with a clothesline and stands around a lot. Sharmell interferes which gets them nowhere so they do it again and Booker takes over. Bookend gets a long two. This is rather boring stuff. Powerslam gets two for Lashley and the fans get WAY into it all of a sudden. Spinning heel kick sets up the axe kick for two. Lashley gets the spear but here’s Finlay with the club to Lashley’s head to let Booker hit the Bookend for the crown. He would win the title next.

 

Rating: D. I didn’t like this one at all for the most part. They felt like they were in the beginning of the match the entire time and it never worked for the most part. A D might be a bit low but at the same time I wasn’t thrilled with it in the slightest. It never got going at all and the whole thing was carried by Booker to say the least. At the time I never got the point of having Booker win but he was by far better at this point and in the long run it turned out to be the right move I think.

 

Booker is crowned which consists of him just throwing it on. Lashley spears him through the throne.

 

We recap Undertaker vs. Khali. Taker had been dominating and beat up Mark Henry so Daviari brought in Khali which was THE EXACT SAME THING they did in 1992 with Kamala, Giant Gonzalez and Harvey Whippleman. For no apparent reason they let Khali absolutely squash Rey in a non-title match. Khali beat up Taker and he disappeared, only to return tonight.

 

Great Khali vs. Undertaker

 

The gong gets a very solid pop as you would expect. Taker hammers away to start but gets nowhere at all. Scratch that as he gets sent to the floor. Khali tries the chop so Taker hammers away. And once again that gets him stuck on the floor. Nice job there dude. Cole turns into an Undertaker cheerleader as Taker gets a Stunner over the top.

 

You can tell this is a big match because Old School is countered. And of course, NO ONE has ever countered that before. I love revisionist history at time. Khali hammers away as well as he can, meaning this is really rather boring. Out to the floor again and Taker goes knees first into the steps. That looked painful beyond belief and people wonder why he wrestles like once a year anymore.

 

Back in and there’s the chop that killed Taker deader than dead before. Khali puts the foot on his chest and Taker kicks out. Of course he sits up and here comes Taker. Old School hits and Khali is staggering. Taker pounds away and hits the jumping clothesline to tie Khali up in the ropes. Fans are rapidly getting into this. Daivari gets up on the apron but the referee saves him. Khali gets untied and the chokeslam doesn’t work. A pair of chops sets up a boot to the head, allowing Khali to put his foot on Taker’s chest and get the clean pin. Now THAT is putting someone over.

 

Rating: D-. And the match sucked. Did you really expect anything else? The crowd is legit shocked as they probably should be. Khali was supposed to have various PPV matches with Taker but one time he was wellnessed and the second the company flat out said he wasn’t good enough to be on live PPV in a last man standing match so they had it on Smackdown with Taker of course winning. After that, he wound up as world champion so there we are.

 

Video/trailer for See No Evil, which was the movie Kane was in.

 

We recap JBL vs. Mysterio. Rey won the title at Mania and said he’ll fight anyone at anytime. WWE then promptly had Rey get crushed by Mark Henry, Kane and Khali. What a great way to get your champion over right? This was supposed to be a bully angle I think but it wasn’t anything interesting because at the end of the day it was JBL vs. Rey Mysterio for the world title and that simply wasn’t interesting for a main event.

 

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio

 

JBL is US Champion here. The fans chant for Eddie because he’s facing JBL here. I mean, he’s the reason Rey won the title after all right? They stare each other down and JBL lifts Rey up and puts him on the corner. JBL takes over as this is pure power vs. speed. 619 is avoided and we hit the floor. Seated senton takes JBL down and a top rope cross body gets two back in the ring.

 

Ten punches in the corner as Rey continues the dominance. In a nice heelish move, Rey points to a fan, allowing Rey to hit a baseball slide to JBL’s baseballs. Dropkick puts Bradshaw back on the floor where he gets the big boot to put down Rey and take over. Rey’s wife is at ringside so the ending is pretty clear here. JBL’s knuckles are bloody from hammering on Rey so much.

 

JBL hits Three Amigos to really rub in the insults. Rey is busted also and gets kicked to the floor. Fall away slam on the floor as the bullying thing continues. He fires off some clotheslines but these are from purgatory I guess as they’re not finishing moves. Rey is bleeding badly. Rey gets up and fires back which gets him nowhere. Off to a sleeper/chinlock by Layfield which he lets go in exchange for a cover for two.

 

They hit the corner again but Bradshaw can’t get a top rope belly to back suplex. Moonsault press gets two and they’re both down. Rey tries a Bronco Buster but runs into a boot to his Pelotas. 619 hits out of nowhere but JBL pulls the referee in front of him and down he goes. BIG powerbomb but there’s no referee. Naturally that gets two so down goes that referee also. JBL gets a chair which is kicked into his face. 619 and Frog Splash keep the title on Rey. Chavo comes out for the celebration.

 

Rating: C+. Match was ok but there were no shocks in this at all. They just did their thing out there and while the match was ok we knew it wouldn’t be JBL that ended the reign. It’s better than most TV matches but it’s not much overall. Paint by numbers might be a good description of this but it was still pretty good.

 

Overall Rating: C-. There’s some ok stuff in this but at the same time the whole thing felt like a very b-list show. This is a show that could have been an In Your House back in the day and probably would have been a lot better off that way too. Not much of a show but they tried at least. Benoit vs. Finlay is good but not must see. Weak show overall and not worth seeing at all, but it’s nothing horrible.

 

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Something else NXT is better than the main show at doing.If you watch NXT, you know that there’s a character named Emma who likes to do a silly dance and have fun.  At the same time, Vickie Guerrero has been known to dance once or twice on TV.  Now here’s the difference.

 

When Emma dances, she knows it’s silly but she’s a likeable character and the fans have fun with her.

When Vickie dances, the fans are laughing at her and she’s humiliated, usually making the segment uncomfortable for the fans to sit through.  Either that or it drags on way too long and gets stupid.

 

The idea is this: it’s ok to have a character who we laugh with instead of at once in awhile.  Not everything has to be all serious all the time.

Smackdown
Date: October 11, 2013
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

The main story coming into tonight is Big Show being fired by Stephanie and then knocking out HHH to end Raw. In other words, certainly not the WWE Title picture. Big Show was way too happy on Raw, meaning there’s something afoot with him that we don’t know about yet. Other than that we have a Battleground rematch with Truth challenging Axel for the Intercontinental Title. Let’s get to it.

The opening video recaps the Big Show/HHH/Stephanie events from Raw.

Here’s Vickie Guerrero to open the show. We get a clip of Del Rio kissing her on Raw, only to earn him a title defense against Cena at the PPV. Vickie rants about Big Show knocking out HHH on Monday, saying that he already compromised the main event at Battleground. Big Show should have been fired long ago but now his problems have just begun. His house is already for sale which is what he deserves.

Del Rio comes out and doesn’t look pleased. He begs Vickie to reconsider making him defend the title against Cena but the fans seem intrigued by the idea. Vickie says it’s what’s best for business so Del Rio sucks up to her a bit and flirts with her for good measure. Vickie says Del Rio should kiss her and the champion complies both on the cheek and lips, but she had another place in mind.

This brings out Damien Sandow to call Del Rio a phony. Alberto sees Vickie as a sex object that he can easily manipulate. Sandow says Vickie is beautiful but he’s most attracted to her mind. She manipulates her way through life but Del Rio is out here trying to get out of a match with Cena that he knows he’ll lose. That’s not befitting of a champion and when given a chance, Sandow will prove he’s the better man. Vickie makes Sandow vs. Del Rio for later. Alberto lays Damien out but Sandow fights back and chases the champion off. Sandow was acting much more neutral than heelish here but it wasn’t a face turn.

Intercontinental Title: R-Truth vs. Curtis Axel

Axel takes the challenger into the corner to start and fires off chops, only to have Truth come back with some right hands. A hip toss gets two on Curtis and he bails to the floor for a chat with Heyman. Back in and Truth elbows Axel down for two as this is still in first gear. Axel knocks him out to the floor and we take an early break. Back with Truth fighting out of an armbar but getting taken down by a clothesline to the back of the head for two.

We hit the chinlock with Heyman coaching from the floor. Axel whispers some sweet spots into Truth’s ear before the champion gets sent into the corner for the break. They very slowly slug it out until Truth speeds things up with clotheslines. A dropkick puts Axel down for two and a wheelbarrow slam gets two more. The ax kick gets the same but Curtis grabs the bottom rope. No heat on the near fall at all there. Truth thinks he won and the distraction allows Curtis to hit his neckbreaker faceplant to retain at 6:38 shown of 9:08.

Rating: D. This was a really boring match with neither guy showing much energy at all. Truth’s biggest strength is his athleticism but he only had about two flashy moves in the whole match. It never felt like the title was in jeopardy and you don’t want Curtis Axel carrying your match for you.

Los Locales vs. Los Matadores

Los Locales are Ricardo Rodriguez and Tyson Kidd under masks. Fernando starts with Kidd (Locale #1) to give us some decent flipping and diving spots. A double backdrop puts Kidd down and it’s Diego chopping away in the corner. Diego headscissors Kidd down and it’s off to Rodriguez and Fernando with more double teaming by the Matadores. Ricardo makes a blind tag and Kidd gets in a few cheap shots including a HARD kick to the back for two. Back to Rodriguez who misses a charge in the corner, allowing for the tag back to Diego to clean house. Heel miscommunication sets up the double Angle Slam to pin Ricardo at 3:45.

Rating: D+. I’m already over Los Matadores and I don’t see them getting any better. They’re a one idea team and those kind of acts rarely last long. They could benefit from some over the top vignettes but just doing the same stuff they’re doing now isn’t getting them anywhere.

Torito dives on Ricardo post match.

We get Shawn’s campaign speech to be the guest referee inside the Cell.

Brie Bella/Funkadactyls vs. Natalya/Eva Marie/Kaitlyn

Kaitlyn returns. Brie and Natalya shake hands to start before Natalya easily takes her down by the leg. Brie counters into an armbar and then a half crab in some surprisingly nice mat wrestling. Nattie can’t get the Sharpshooter and it’s off to Eva who gets a quick one off a rollup. A wristlock drags Brie to the corner and it’s off to Kaitlyn vs. Cameron. That goes nowhere so here’s Naomi who gets speared down almost immediately. Everything breaks down and the Rear View takes out Natalya. Kaitlyn’s rollup on Naomi is countered into another rollup for the pin for Naomi at 2:53. Above average Divas stuff here actually.

Post match the winners and Nikki dance a lot.

Cody Rhodes and Goldust say they beat the Shield and beat the odds, thanks to their dad putting himself in harm’s way. Their welcome back to Smackdown tonight: the Wyatts.

Damien Sandow vs. Alberto Del Rio

Non-title. Sandow takes over to start and quickly stomps Del Rio out to the floor. Back in and Alberto kicks away for two before hitting a chinlock less than a minute into the match. Sandow pounds away even more, sending Alberto to the floor. The champion tries to walk out with the title but Sandow sends him into the apron and back into the ring. Back in and Del Rio kicks him down in the corner again for two more before hitting a top rope ax handle to the back for the same.

Back to the chinlock for a bit before Sandow backdrops Sandow up and over the corner and out to the floor. Sandow hits a quick suplex for two and the YOU’RE WELCOME shout gets a face reaction. Alberto comes back with kicks to the leg and forearms to the back of the head, only to miss a charge into the post. Sandown hits another clothesline to send Del Rio to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Del Rio dropkicking Sandown down because all he can do is kick in this match. Sandow avoids a charge and sends Alberto to the floor, only to catch Damien with a superkick to take over again. They head back inside for the Russian legsweep and the Wind-Up legsweep for two. Sandow lowers the knee pad but misses the knee drop, allowing Alberto to hit the low superkick for two.

A Codebreaker to the arm puts Sandow down but he counters the armbreaker into an Edge-O-Matic for two. The Terminus is countered into the Backstabber for two more but the corner enziguri misses. Sandow’s running flip neckbreaker gets another near fall but he loses his cool, allowing Del Rio to kick him in the knee and hook the armbreaker for the submission at 11:38 shown of 14:38.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t bad but Sandow’s impending face turn needs to see him actually win a few matches. The fans like what’s there with him but being a popular loser is only going to carry him so far. As I’ve said many times, he’s desperately in need of a new finishing move as that neckbreaker isn’t worth much at all.

The Raw ReBound covers the Big Show saga. Apparently HHH might have a broken jaw which would have to be wired shut. Big Show may be facing criminal charges as a result.

Great Khali/Prime Time Players vs. 3MB

Khali shoves Slater around to start before it’s quickly off to Mahal. No mention is made of them being brothers in law but we do get to hear about Khali being a snake charmer. Some chops make Mahal scream before it’s off to Young for a northern lights suplex for two. Cole talks about how 3MB is on a roll because they won a match on Main Event. JBL: “Barry Horowitz won a match too once.”

Off to Mahal who kicks Young in the chest for two before it’s time for some triple teaming. Drew tells Darren to reach for his partners before stomping down on his fingers in a nice heel move. Darren finally gets in a shot to the ribs and makes the tag off to Titus. The power man cleans house and gets two on Mahal via a standing fallaway slam. Everything breaks down and the big chop from Khali pins Slater at 5:02.

Rating: D. This wasn’t too bad but it felt like a filler match and nothing more, likely due to a lot of the roster being on the Abu Dhabi tour. The Players’ push seems to be dead which shouldn’t upset most people and really isn’t all that big of a loss. 3MB is perfect for this role as the heels who lose almost all the time but really don’t seem to mind.

Wyatt Family vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust

Bray is the odd man out here but cuts a promo on screen before the entrance, talking about how people call him strange but the water around him is fine. Harper starts with Goldust and the painted one takes over with a quick clothesline. Off to Rowan who is still wearing the mask so Goldust does the deep breath and punches it off his face. Cody comes in to work on the arm but a hard shoulder block takes him down.

We take a break and come back with Cody sending Harper into the corner and making the tag off to Goldie. The painted one cleans house and rains down right hands in the corner on Luke but the bulldog is easily countered. Off to Rowan for a neck crank as Bray adjusts his hat on the floor. It’s quickly back to Harper for a headlock before he misses a dropkick of all things. Luke still manages to break up the hot tag and pounds away with elbows in the corner to the golden jaw.

Back to Rowan for even more power on a hard whip into the corner. We hit the bearhug for a bit before Rowan takes him into the corner for some shots to the head. A charge hits Goldust’s elbow but Erick breaks up another hot tag attempt. Bray gives a nod to Rowan as if to say it’s time and there’s a claw hold to Goldust. That goes nowhere since it’s not 1984 anymore but Rowan misses a spinwheel kick, allowing Goldust to bulldog him down.

There’s the hot tag off to Cody who cleans house with the Disaster Kick to Harper. Everything breaks down and Cody hits a great dive to the floor to take out Rowan, only to get kicked in the face by Harper. Back in and Cody grabs a rollup out of nowhere for the pin at 10:05 shown of 13:05.

Rating: B-. Standard tag team formula here but they worked it very well. Cody and Goldust are on fire at the moment and I can’t imagine they won’t get the tag title shot at the PPV. The Wyatts losing is ok since Bray is the one that matters in the grand scheme of things. Good stuff here.

Overall Rating: C-. The last part of the show was better but the first hour of this show was about as worthless as you could ask a show to be. The lack of star power due to the tour hurt this a lot but it wasn’t a disaster. I like the idea of the Wyatts getting a crack in the main event, even though it’s probably a one off shot for now. Not a bad show here but nothing worth going out of your way to see at all.

Results

Curtis Axel b. R-Truth – Neckbreaker faceplant

Los Matadores b. Los Locales – Double Angle Slam to Locale #2

Funkadactyls/Brie Bela b. Kaitlyn/Eva Marie/Natalya – Rollup to Kaitlyn

Alberto Del Rio b. Damien Sandow – Cross Armbreaker

Great Khali/Prime Time Players b. 3MB – Chop to Slater

Cody Rhodes/Goldust b. Wyatt Family – Rollup to Harper

 

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No Mercy 2005
Date: October 9, 2005
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the final of this set of shows and we’re finally out of the Undertaker in gimmick title matches. Now he’s in gimmick non-title matches, in this case a handicap casket match against the Ortons. The main event is Batista defending against Eddie who is turning more heel by the day but he’s pretending to be a nice guy. It’s also his last PPV match ever. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Eddie vs. Batista with Eddie swearing he’s a changed man. If Eddie crosses Batista, Batista will end him. Also we hear about the handicap casket match.

MNM vs. Legion of Doom/Christy Hemme

This is Animal/Heidenreich which never worked at all. They’re the tag champions here. My goodness Christy was gorgeous. She took a Snapshot on Smackdown so she’s injured coming in. Animal has a taped up shoulder too. Heidenreich pulls Nitro in and the beating is on before he can even take the fur coat off. Heidenreich is all fired up and hits a three point clothesline for two. Off to the large gut with the Animal attached but Mercury gets in a kick to the shoulder to take over.

He keeps kicking at it and knocks Heidenreich to take draw him in. MNM hits the Snapshot on Animal very quickly but it only gets two because of the delay in getting to the cover. Mercury snaps the shoulder over the top rope to let Nitro get two. The double team continues and Animal is in trouble. Neckbreaker gets two. Mercury goes up but jumps into an almost powerslam for two. Everything breaks down and Melina tags herself in. She dives onto Animal and gets caught. Off to Christy for a bad Hart Attack and then a HORRIBLE rana. As in the legs were around Melina’s arms. Doomsday Device ends Melina.

Rating: D-. Christy Hemme is a fine example of a girl that looks good in tight pants and a black bra. She’s incredibly attractive and sexy, but but she had no business being in a wrestling ring as a competitor. It didn’t work for her at all and she was only in the ring for about 45 seconds. Again though, she’s there for her looks and those work very well.

Eddie comes in to see Batista and almost evily says good luck. Batista says it back in a friendlier voice.

Here’s Simon Dean the fitness expert with his assistant who has a plate of hamburgers. Taz and Cole are cracking up at this. Dean talks about how Houston is the fattest city in America. He has 20 double cheeseburgers here and says it’s ok to eat one, but when you eat 20 at once you get fat. He calls out Lashley and says if he loses, he’ll eat all 20 of those burgers.

Bobby Lashley vs. Simon Dean

Lashley is in white here and it’s his PPV debut. This is a rematch from Lashley’s first match which was two days ago. Lashley throws him around but misses a corner charge. Dean throws hamburgers at Lashley and then hits him with the metal tray as the ref is distracted. That doesn’t work at all and Dean is thrown into the corner. They try to do a cool power spot where Dean is sitting in the corner while holding onto the top and having Lashley pull him out by his feet to catch him in the Dominator. The problem is Lashley can’t hold him up so he falls backwards and hits a regular Dominator to win it. Total squash.

Lashley forces the hamburger into Dean’s mouth.

Jillian still has the mole on her face but introduces JBL who says Raw won’t invade tonight. They can’t invade because they’re invited. JBL welcomes a challenge but watch what he does to Mysterio first. Rey pops up and speaks Spanish, talking about the Mexican flag. JBL tells the “intertube boy” that he needs to speak English in America. Rey hands him a Mysterio mask for after the underdog beats him. JBL declines so Rey gives it to Jillian.

US Title: Booker T vs. Christian vs. Orlando Jordan vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit is defending, Booker gets a big pop as the hometown guy and this is one fall to a finish. Benoit beat Jordan in like 25 seconds at Summerslam to win the title. Why he’s in this match is beyond me. Jordan goes after Benoit and takes him down so the heels (Christian/Jordan) can double team Booker. Booker knocks Christian to the floor and kicks Jordan down but Christian pulls him to the outside.

Benoit pops up out of nowhere with a Crossface on Jordan but Christian saves. With Booker on the floor, Benoit cleans house on the other two. Suplexes all around and Christian is put in a quickly broken up Sharpshooter. Booker comes off the top with a missile dropkick to take Christian down as it’s his turn to be in control. Jordan and Christian are knocked to the floor so we get a staredown between Booker and Benoit.

They don’t really do much though as Christian comes in and is suplexed over the top with ease. Benoit goes to the floor to fight his fellow Canadian as Booker and Jordan clothesline each other down. Christian breaks up the Swan Dive by fighting Benoit on the top. Jordan is whipped into them and the Canadians hit the floor. Booker rolls up Jordan for a VERY close two. Benoit comes back in and walks into a side kick.

Cole reminds us that everyone is legal at the same time. Thanks Cole. The first seven minutes of this match didn’t tell me that. Axe kick gets two on Jordan. Christian throws Benoit into Booker to knock Booker to the floor but Christian can’t hit the Unprettier on Benoit. Benoit tries Rolling Germans but Orlando breaks it up.

Orlando is thrown out onto Booker, leaving the Canadians in the ring. After four Germans Benoit misses the Swan Dive. Christian tries a rollup but Benoit reverses into the Crossface. Orlando seems to miss his cue on the save as he takes forever. Jordan is sent to the floor and the Sharpshooter makes Christian tap.

Rating: C. This seems like a match that belonged on a house show. It wasn’t that bad but I don’t think anyone was really expecting a new champion here. Benoit was on a roll at this point and would hold the title for about six more months. It’s not a bad match but it was more of a Benoit showcase than a competitive match.

Sharmell yells at Booker post match.

Lashley is making Dean eat the burgers.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Hardcore Holly

Hardcore shoved Kennedy during a match while Kennedy was on commentary so Kennedy cost him a match. This is Kennedy’s PPV debut. Kennedy does his usual intro before the match. Holly is introduced as The Alabama Slamma. Holly pounds him down to start and hits the dropkick. There are some hard chops in the corner but Kennedy suckers Holly in and sends him to the floor.

Out to the floor for a bit as the fans are just gone. Literally, as in you can see empty seats in the first few rows. Kennedy works on the arm to waste some time. A single arm DDT gets two. This is a horribly boring match. Holly comes back and hits a full nelson slam for two. Kennedy tries a spin kick but Holly won’t sell it. He kicks Kennedy down and they go to the corner. The rolling fireman’s carry slam off the middle rope gets the pin for Kennedy.

Rating: F. OH MAN this was bad. It went on almost ten minutes and was about three minutes of arm work. Holly wouldn’t sell anything and it made Kennedy look like an idiot. Kennedy never quite got it in the ring but he tried at least. There was always something misses for him though, and this wasn’t a good start at all.

Holly takes forever to get out of the ring so Sylvan, the fashion consultant of Smackdown who is more worthless than any wrestler you’ll EVER see, comes out to the ring and attacks the bad ribs.

Simon is still eating burgers.

Sharmell yells at Booker some more. Kennedy comes up and makes fun of them. This takes forever and Sharmell yells more after Kennedy leaves.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio

Rey fires off right hands to start and ducks a big boot. JBL actually goes technical and hooks a side headlock to take it to the mat. Rey takes over again and sends JBL out to the floor to frustrate him. A baseball slide puts Bradshaw down and the rich dude is mad. He uses the power to take over but Rey takes the knee out and a facejam gets two. Rey works over the knee and cannonballs down onto it.

The 619 misses and JBL heads to the floor. Rey bulldogs him to the floor but hurts himself in the process. Bradshaw sends his head into the steps to take over. My goodness JBL has a beer belly on him. Back in and JBL pounds him down before hitting a fallaway slam from the middle rope for no cover. A regular fallaway slam sends Rey to the floor where JBL hits a third one.

Back inside the slams get two. Time for a bearhug. This match has been pretty slow paced. There isn’t much of a story to it either so it doesn’t really draw the fans in that well. JBL puts him on the ropes but Rey comes back with a tornado DDT. Rey speeds things up and hits the Bronco Buster but Jillian gets up for a distraction. JBL almost hits her but puts on the brakes, only to walk into a moonsault press for two. Rey knocks him into the ropes and hits the 619, but the West Coast Pop misses and the Clothesline ends this.

Rating: C-. Not a bad match for the most part but it was pretty boring. It was a nice surprise to see JBL win as Rey would have seemed to be the obvious winner here. This is more or less JBL’s win to keep some kind of importance on him for when he jobbed to everyone on the planet afterwards.

Someone gets fired on Raw tomorrow. It would be JR.

We recap the Ortons vs. Undertaker. Orton had turned heel to try to break the Streak but of course he lost. It became an obsession for him and he beat Undertaker at Summerslam. Taker came for revenge and caskets were brought in. There was an Undertaker mannequin in the casket which scared Taker, according to Randy. Tonight it’s a handicap casket match with Taker against the Ortons.

Undertaker vs. Bob Orton/Randy Orton

Both Ortons have to go in for Undertaker to win. Taker gets the full druid entrance as they bring out the casket. He then gets his own entrance to really fill in time. Taker controls with punches to start, knocking both Ortons around. Then the numbers take over so the Ortons control with punches. Now Taker comes back and knocks them both down. He manages to throw Bob in the casket but Randy throws Taker knees first into the steps.

Undertaker is put in the casket but gets out with, you guessed it, punches. Back in the ring and Bob is down in the corner. Old School is loaded up for Randy but Bob manages to crotch him. Both Ortons go up on the ropes and they manage a double superplex. Bob covers probably out of instinct. They keep trying to double suplex Taker into the casket but Taker counters into a double DDT.

Bob is thrown into the casket and Randy takes the snake eyes/big boot combo. Bob is out of the casket now and appears to have something in his hands. Oh it’s a fire extinguisher. Randy hits the backbreaker in the ring and we go outside. Randy jumps off the apron but gets rammed back first into the post. A big chair shot to the back puts Randy in and Bob gets caught in a triangle choke. Taker finally gets Bob in but Randy gets up and knocks Taker away.

All three are in the casket now as the younger guys stand up and brawl. Taker knocks Randy out and slams the lid on Bob. The announcers talk like that eliminates him but there’s been nothing that implies he would be until now. Randy low blows Undertaker and hits the powerslam. Randy opens the casket but takes a low blow as well. Taker pounds on him some more but Randy hits the dropkick and they go into the corner.

Randy, ever the idiot, puts himself in perfect position for the Last Ride. Tazz: “WHY DID HE DO THAT???” Last Ride kills Randy but Bob pops out of the casket with the fire extinguisher. A blast into the eyes by Bob allows Randy to hit the RKO. Bob tries to roll Taker into the casket but Taker grabs him by the throat. Randy pops up with the fire extinguisher to the head and Taker is knocked into the casket. He pulls Randy in with him and the lid closes, but for some reason that doesn’t end it. Not that it matters as Taker and Randy pop up seconds later and Randy hits him with a chair to win.

Rating: C-. It’s not a horrible match I don’t guess but it never got interesting at all. That’s what this PPV has been in a nutshell: not bad but nothing to get excited about at all. Cole declaring this the final nail in Undertaker’s coffin was laughable because that guy has died more times than I can count but he keeps coming back. Anyway, not bad but it lead to HIAC at I think Armageddon.

Post match the Ortons do the Royal Rumble 1998 thing where the hack open the casket and pour gas in then light it on fire. Taker would come back at Survivor Series and then have a Cell match at Armageddon to blow off the feud.

Wrestlemania is in Chicago.

Taz and Cole talk about how serious this is and how you can smell the gas and the smoke.

Now here are Mexicans on lawnmowers.

Cruiserweight Title: Juventud Guerrera vs. Nunzio

Nunzio is defending after Juvy won a battle royal. The attempted murderers are going to be talking on WWE.com if you’re interested. The Mexicools and Vito are on the floor. Juvy gets three covers inside of 20 seconds. Nunzio gets some rollups as well and it’s a standoff. The crowd is pretty quiet for this. A headscissors gets two for Juvy. Tazz, who was all shocked and serious a few minutes before, is making juice jokes.

Nunzio takes it to the mat with a surfboard hold as Tazz has to remind himself that there’s a match going on. Rollup gets two for Juvy. They both go up and both hit facejams to put both guys down. They speed things up again and a seated dropkick gets two for Guerrera. Inverted powerbomb gets two. Juvy tries a sunset flip but gets shoved off so he headscissors Vito instead. Top rope crossbody is rolled through into two for Nunzio but he hits the Juvy Driver a few seconds later for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. I feel sorry for the guys in matches like these. No one is interested in seeing them and probably even fewer care who wins. This match is background noise while the fans catch their breath before we get to the main event. That being said, the match was nothing interesting at all as the Cruiserweight Title was long since dead at this point.

The Mexicools do an interview in Spanish.

Simon finishes the burgers but Lashley says that was only 19. Lashley pulls out one more huge one but Simon gets sick. Did we really wait the whole show for that payoff?

We recap the main event. Eddie says he wanted respect but no one bought it. This resulted in a tag match with Eddie/Batista vs. MNM where Eddie hit Batista with a chair but claimed it was an accident. Batista said if you screw me, I’ll end you.

Smackdown World Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Batista

Eddie takes him to the mat to start and Batista looks a bit surprised by the speed. He almost gets caught in a rollup but powers out of it. For some reason Eddie tries a test of strength and down he goes. He climbs the ropes while still in the grip but Big Dave throws him down with ease and Eddie bails for a bit.

Back in and Batista grabs a headlock. Eddie sends him into the corner and it’s right back to the headlock. Eddie tries to escape with a top wristlock but there’s too much Batista. The headlock goes on again but Eddie gets to the floor and grabs a chair. Batista grabs him by the throat and says Eddie wants to screw him with a chair. Eddie guillotines him on the top and hits a Frog Splash to the back for a close two. That was out of nowhere.

Eddie works on the back in the form of a body scissors but Batista powers out of it. Guerrero hits a dropkick to the back and hooks a half Boston Crab to put Big Dave in even more trouble. Batista makes the rope and Eddie goes to the corner and steals a tag rope. He drops it though and dropkicks Batista in the face instead. Nice guy. Off to a camel clutch as the back work continues.

Now it’s back to the body scissors but Batista stands up and hooks a bearhug which is quickly broken. Batista charges at him but Eddie dropkicks the knee out and tries a Texas Cloverleaf. Dave is like BY THE POWER OF MALENKO and counters with a small package before it’s on. Into the corner and Eddie jumps over Batista but stumbles and runs into the referee. Eddie gets a chair but throws it down instead of swinging it.

Batista sees the chair and gets all ticked off. He goes into Beast Mode and runs over Eddie with his power game. His back gives out on the Batista Bomb though so he has to settle for a spinebuster. That gets a delayed two and Eddie makes his comeback, doing his dance and hitting the Three Amigos. Batista avoids the Splash and a second spinebuster retains the title.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t a bad match but it never got to the point where I was wanting to see what happened next. The whole point of the match was would Eddie go rudo or not and he didn’t do it, making the whole story of the match kind of dead because one on one, no one bought Eddie as a real threat to the title. It wasn’t a bad match at all but it’s certainly not something worth watching. The story is that Eddie would have won the title on the Smackdown two days after he died, so this was just the start of a bigger story.

Post match Eddie offers a handshake and Batista eventually accepts it. Batista turns away and Eddie gives him an evil smile which Batista doesn’t see.

Overall Rating: D+. The show is much like the main event: not bad for the most part, but I’d have felt pretty let down after this show. It’s a match that would have been perfect for the In Your House treatment back in the 90s, as this isn’t really an A-list main event. Coupling that with a lot of the filler matches like the six person and the Kennedy match, there’s not much of a need for this to be a three hour show. It passed two hours and forty five minutes but there’s no reason to watch this at all.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Smackdown
Date: October 7, 2011
Location: Mississippi Coast Coliseum, Biloxi, Mississippi
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

This is the first Smackdown after the walk out on Monday so I’m sure we’ll hear about that non-stop. Henry is still world champion so we’re probably looking at Henry vs. Orton III at Vengeance because the Cell is just another match in this feud that probably ends in last man standing or something like that. Anyway we’re in that weird period again where we have to push hard for Vengeance but there is so much from Raw that we need to take care of that first. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long video about the walk out and all that jazz. This eats up like four minutes.

Teddy is in his office (and gets a pop) and is on the phone with HHH. He says he won’t let the Game down. Ryder pops up and Teddy says that he (Teddy) is in charge tonight. Ryder wants to know what’s going on with the walk out and Teddy says it’s none of his business but Raw’s loss is Smackdown’s gain so he has work to do.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is stupid stories that go totally in the face of continuity or character development like Beth, the monster that eliminated Khali from the Rumble a few years ago saying she was just a girl and could get hurt, for the sake of drama.

Big Show is back tonight.

Here’s Vickie to open the show with the disgruntled heels in the ring behind her. Christian takes credit for the whole uprising and the fans chant for HHH. Ziggler says it was a group effort and they were the leaders of the walk out. Barrett is with them too. Otunga says they’ve walked out on HHH and Raw but will be here on Smackdown. Wait….oh never mind.

Anyway if HHH doesn’t quit Monday, they’re leaving house shows and PPVs as well as Smackdown. Barrett says HHH should do the right thing and resign. Cody says he’s part of a united front and now there is hope for change. However they all couldn’t have done it without one (unnamed) man. Swagger says show some respect for Alberto Del Rio. Ok so it was Del Rio’s plan? Here’s the champ and he says he survived the Cell and is champion despite HHH. They’re never going back to Raw until HHH is gone. He’s here tonight to compete.

Cue Teddy who says if these guys keep talking then it’ll be the audience that walks out. The main event is Cody/Christian vs. Sheamus/Orton. Alberto is up next though and has a match against a hand picked opponent (Alberto’s hand that is) and that would be Sin Cara. I’m assuming they mean the blue one because heel vs. heel doesn’t happen.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Sin Cara

Del Rio starts off hot to start and Cara is beaten down quickly with the Mexican hitting a German on the Mexican. It was so good that we saw it on two different replays. Off to a chinlock which Booker says is spectacular. Cara goes up and hits a rana and a tornado DDT as things speed up a bit. Cole blames Lawler for the walk out which is right in a way. And that doesn’t matter as the cross armbreaker ends this in 3:18.

Rating: D+. Not sure what the point of this was as Cara was treated like a total jobber. Don’t get me wrong: he shouldn’t have had a chance in there and shouldn’t have won or anything like that, but I would have expected more than three minutes and change for a guy that had a featured PPV match five days ago. Del Rio looks dominant though and that’s what this was for.

Post match Sin Cara Black comes out to beat up Blue. He works on the arm a lot and hits a Swanton to leave Cara laying.

Cole says he walked out because HHH wasn’t listening to anyone but himself. Booker says he’s neutral and had to go to the bathroom. Little too much information there Book.

Air Boom says it’s probably not HHH’s fault but until HHH steps down, Air Boom won’t be on Raw but they’ll be on the blue show every week. Kofi says it’s due to chaos, but it hasn’t been chaotic at all, at least not more than normal.

Air Boom vs. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler

Air Boom has new music. I guess we’re doing the whole “challengers get beaten time after time but keep getting shots and matches until they win once and can declare themselves better based off that one match” thing. They jump the champs during their entrance and take over early. It’s a big beating in the aisle but I think we’re still going to start the match in a few minutes here.

Bourne takes a Zig Zag on the floor and we take a break. Back and we actually have a bell to start. Bourne is out cold so it’s 2-1 with Kofi starting against Swagger. Evan is sitting up now. Kofi avoids a splash and it’s off to Jack again. Ok make that Dolph. Team Vickie is beating Kofi up pretty well here. A double clothesline puts both guys down. Kofi is still in his t-shirt. Bourne pops up onto the apron and tags himself in but his neck is messed up. Dolph hits a neckbreaker and the gutwrench powerbomb ends this at 3:08.

Rating: C. Not bad here although it was short. The idea here is simple: the heels cheated to win. Why do you need anything more than that at times? The neckbreaker was smart as it played to the injury rather than going with some generic move that doesn’t play to the established injury. Why do so many guys have issues figuring that out? This was fine.

Beth Phoenix vs. Alicia Fox

Glam Slam, pin, 35 seconds.

Post match Nattie puts Alicia in the leg hold and Alicia screams as Beth wants tears. This is kind of disturbing. But can she do that to a chick who is known for spanks and Stinkfaces and has a song about hollering in a club? Apparently not on her own.

Video 9583 on Henry, this one featuring Big Show.

Big Show makes his return and certainly hasn’t lost any weight. He talks about how good it is to be back and praises the fans a bit. We get a clip from MITB which was 4 months ago in WWE time (the show was July 17). Show talks about how he was humbled by Henry which is an image I didn’t need. He’s starting to cry. Henry reached into his chest and tore out his heart. Show couldn’t do little things anymore like putting on his shoes or going upstairs or playing with his dogs. Dude you broke your ankle. You didn’t lose your legs.

The fans chant for him and we actually see them chant. The pain is what fueled the fire in his stomach. He used it to get better and stronger. Henry is going to get the pain and hurt back ten times over. Show says Henry is on a roll, but it’s downhill. At the bottom of that hill is Big Show and all the pain and anger is being loaded up in his fist. He’s going to put that fist onto the side of Henry’s head until Show takes the thing that Henry defines himself by: the World Heavyweight Championship. He’ll settle for nothing less than a one on one match and he wants it RIGHT NOW.

Here’s Henry who says that things have changed since Show was here. The Hall of Pain is getting crowded and now he’s the World Heavyweight Champion. Henry wants to know who Show has beaten recently to earn a shot. They keep saying four months. Can no one in this company ready a calendar or count to three? Henry says he’ll let Show know about when and if Show gets a title shot. Show says Henry has until the end of the night or he’ll break Henry’s ankle and put him through the table. I liked Show here as he kept things simple.

Orton says he doesn’t want to beg for one more match and if he has to go through the entire roster, he’ll do it. As for the walk out, if he had a problem with HHH he’d go take care of it in person. He doesn’t play well with others so Sheamus will have to see how things go tonight in the main event. This was said with a non-evil smile.

Brodus Clay is still coming. As long as he doesn’t run into Johnny Curtis he’ll be fine.

Mahal runs his mouth a bit and is cut off by Big Zeke’s music. He only talked about 4 seconds so it wasn’t anything to see.

Ezekiel Jackson vs. Jinder Mahal

He talks some more and gets shushed and then punched. Jackson overpowers him to start and then runs through him with the slams. Mahal escapes the Rack and fires off with a jumping knee. Jackson shrugs it off and slams him even more before the Rack ends this at 2:06. Just a squash. Did Mahal walk in on Vince practicing Stand Back or something?

Post match Jackson says shhh again.

Johnny Ace comes in to see Teddy and says we’re in uncharted waters. They’re both company men and since HHH isn’t here tonight, Ace is supporting Teddy. If Teddy loses control of Smackdown, the WWE Universe will lose faith and then……well that’s all he says.

Here’s Hornswoggle. He and Booker go into the ring and do Spinaroonis. They get cut off by Christian and it’s already main event time? Wow there’s a ton of time left too.

Christian/Cody Rhodes vs. Sheamus/Randy Orton

They have over 20 minutes for this. Sheamus vs. Christian gets us going but it’s off to Cody very quickly. Cody gets pounded down and we get the forearm smashes in the ropes. The Canadian distracts the Irishman so that the American can hit a Russian for two. The mask Cody wears costs $20,000 according to Cole. Methinks Cody got ripped off. Hot tag to Orton who cleans hour and beats up Christian. Something sounds right about that. Booker: “These guys know each other like a good book and right now Orton is reading him like never before.” Cole: “WHERE DO YOU COME UP WITH THIS STUFF???”

Elevated DDT hits but some Cody distraction lets Christian take over as we go to a break. Back with the heels working over Orton and it’s off to Cody. Oh I forgot we still have Henry’s reply to Big Show so they won’t use the full time. Orton avoids a spear and it’s hot tag to Sheamus. Flying battering ram misses and the Irish Curse is now a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Why do they keep changing the names of moves? Cody escapes the Brogue Kick but an RKO out of nowhere by the illegal man pins him at 6:25 shown of 9:55.

Rating: C. I really wasn’t impressed here but the match was ok. Sheamus keeps looking good and I’m glad he and Orton seem to be sharing the top spot on the show. Good enough for a main event but the shortness of it really hurt things here. This getting more time would have helped it as there wasn’t enough time to build drama or anything like that.

Remember the video about the walk out earlier? Here it is again.

There will be a Raw Monday but we’re not sure who will be there.

Here’s Marky Mark for his reply to Big Show. He talks about how he’s infallible just like Big Show but Show gets no title match. Show comes out and beats down Henry. He beats the champ down and shoves security out of the way. A spear puts Henry down and security gets beaten down again. Henry leaves and holds up the title but for once, someone goes after him while he’s standing there and the fight starts up again.

Henry throws him around (that’s still scary) and sets for the Slam through the table. Show fights back and gets a good chokeslam to put Mark through it. He wraps the chair around Henry’s ankle and (after tossing a huge chair aside with one hand) he pulls the steps over and looks to Pillmanize it but Teddy calls him off, saying Show gets the world title match as long as he doesn’t jump onto the ankle. Show steps down and walks away but then goes back and cracks Henry over the back with the chair. Henry looks mostly dead to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was a pretty weak show overall, especially by Smackdown’s normal standards. We have our main event and I really like that it isn’t Orton again. He looks like he’s shifting over to Rhodes which would be a nice breather outside of the main event for him. As far as Henry vs. Show goes, that could be interesting and decent if they keep it short. No more than like 8-9 minutes and it could be watchable, which is the case for most monster battles. Watchable show here, but not great by any means.

Results
Alberto Del Rio b. Sin Cara – Cross Armbreaker
Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler b. Air Boom – Gutwrench powerbomb to Bourne
Beth Phoenix b. Alicia Fox – Glam Slam
Ezekiel Jackson b. Jinder Mahal – Torture Rack
Randy Orton/Sheamus b. Christian/Cody Rhodes – RKO to Rhodes

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 7, 2013
Location: Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the night after Battleground and we’re in the same place we were before with the title picture. Orton vs. Bryan went to a no contest due to interference from Big Show, who finally snapped and went against the regime. This likely sets up Bryan vs. Orton III inside the Cell in just three weeks. Other than that the Rhodes Family got a huge win over the Shield, meaning they very well may get a tag title shot. Let’s get to it.

We open with the recap from last night’s main event.

Here’s a ticked off Stephanie to open the show. She talks about how things went bad last night and how she’s livid as a result. Stephanie demands Big Show get out here right now and immediately starts yelling, saying that Big Show can’t do anything right and last night was the result of way to much stress. He can’t manage his finances, his life, his marriage or anything else.

Show says sorry in less than a half hearted way, sending Stephanie even further over the edge. She goes off about saving his mortgage and owning him and his home so Show asks if he can leave now. Stephanie demands that he beg for forgiveness but Show says no. He knocked Bryan out because she told him to. Stephanie says Show is lying because Brad Maddox gave the other. Show says that Brad is their puppet and calls HHH an SOB. Stephanie slaps him about five times and fires him.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Damien Sandow

Sandow takes him into the corner tos tart before taking Dolph down into a chinlock. The announcers talk about the opening segment while JBL tries to keep them on topic. Back up and Ziggler is sent throat first into the ropes before Sandow puts on a headscissors. Ziggler is sent to the floor and we take a break. Back with Damien getting two off something we didn’t see and whipping Dolph into the corner a few times. A Russian legsweep sets up the Wind-Up Elbow followed by another chinlock.

Back up and Ziggler is thrown over the top as this is completely one sided so far. Ziggler is sent into the post for two and it’s back to the chinlock. Dolph fights up and sends Damien shoulder first into the post before firing off some awkward looking punches. They head to the floor for even more punches before going inside for right hands to Sandow in the corner. A dropkick gets two for Ziggler but he gets crotched on top for two. Not that it matters as Ziggler hits a quick Fameasser for the pin at 12:18.

Rating: C-. Not a great match at all but it was acceptable and very different from last night’s match. This was more of a squash for the start until we got to the interesting part. Sandow was looking very frustrated after the match which means changes might be in store for him. Also wasn’t he supposed to have a knee injury?

Stephanie yells at Brad Maddox and demands that he go out and apologize for what happened last night.

Bruno Sammartino came out to see the crowd. DURING THE BREAK??? One of the biggest stars of all time is not brought out DURING A BREAK! Lawler led the crowd in singing Happy Birthday to him.

Alicia Fox/Aksana/Rosa Mendes vs. Natalya/Eva Marie/JoJo

This would be Eva and JoJo’s in ring debuts. Natalya runs over Aksana (who seems to have gotten a haircut) to start before it’s off to Eva. It’s clear that neither girl is very comfortable in the ring as the two of them look like they’re trying to remember every scripted spot. Off to the very blonde Rosa who doesn’t do much better, so here’s Alicia to be the ring general. Eva is sent badly into the corner but avoids a knee, allowing for the tag off to Natalya. House is cleaned and a quick Sharpshooter gets the submission from Fox at 3:27.

Rating: D-. When the best thing you can say is neither rookie horribly botched anything, it’s not a good sign. JoJo and Eva are glorified models and everyone knows it, but they’re on a very scripted reality show so they get to be on Monday Night Raw. Nothing to see here and Rosa doesn’t look nearly as good as a blonde.

Before the girls are out of the ring, Maddox comes out to announce Orton vs. Bryan inside the Cell. There’s going to be a guest referee and the fans can vote on which of three Hall of Famers they want for the job. The first option is Booker T, who says vote for him.

Here’s how to download the WWE App. The announcers even say they know we know how to download an app.

Los Matadores vs. 3MB

This would be Mahal/McIntyre this week. Diego throws Mahal around to start but gets kicked in the head and it’s off to McIntyre. Drew puts on an armbar but Diego pops up and makes the tag off to Fernando to clean house. Apparently the Real Americans are tweeting about Los Matadores. Thankfully this doesn’t last long with the double Angle Slam pinning McIntyre at 2:20.

Post match Slater chases after Torito and gets beaten up, allowing Torito to hurricanrana him down.

We recap the opening segment again.

Here are Heyman and his guys with something to say. Heyman says he’s the only man that can say he beat Punk on his own with his arms behind his back. Punk may have pinning Ryback last night but he had to cheat to do so. Before Heyman can say anything else, here’s Punk with a rebuttal. Punk doesn’t like being accused of being a cheater but says he’ll beat Ryback at any time he wants. He accepts the rematch offer before it’s even offered and says he’ll do it anytime anywhere. Ryback says that Punk is a bully and offeres him a fight right now, but here’s R-Truth to join Punk with an offer of a tag match.

Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. R-Truth/CM Punk

Ryback bails from Punk to start so it’s Axel in first. Curtis is immediately taken down by Punk and it’s off to Truth for some shots of his own. The Heyman guys head to the floor as we take an early break. Back with Axel in trouble from Truth so he brings in Ryback for a bearhug to slow Truth down. Back to Axel for a middle rope ax handle for two followed by some stomping. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Truth is whipped into the corner.

Back to Ryback who rams him into the corner harder than Axel ever could. A slam gets two on Truth and it’s off to an abdominal stretch to stay on the ribs. Truth comes back with a side kick to the face and it’s hot tag Punk to clean house on Axel. There’s the GTS for Curtis and a high kick to Ryback, but it’s back to Truth for the ax kick and the pin on Axel at 12:42.

Rating: C. Basic tag match here which extends one feud which should be extended and keeps another feud going for the sake of keeping it going. Truth vs. Axel has been done already and there’s not need to see them fight again, which is probably why we have to sit through it even more. At least Axel is defending the belt though.

The second candidate for guest referee is Bob Backlund. In his crazy man voice, he says he loves us and we should vote for us because he doesn’t swear. He’s been a good guy in the business but he’s been bad as well, so he doesn’t care who wins the title. If either guy gets out of line, he’ll put them in the crossface chicken wing.

Kofi Kingston vs. Randy Orton

Orton pounds away to start and sends Kofi into the corner for a quick one count. Randy sends him into the steps and back inside, only to have Kofi send him to the floor in turn. Randy throws him right back outside as we take a break. Back with Orton stomping away and getting two off the backbreaker. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Kofi comes back with a middle rope chop to the head.

Randy punches him into the corner but gets caught in a tornado DDT to put both guys down. Kofi gets two off a high cross body and the SOS gets the same. A springboard cross body is countered into the powerslam from Orton but the Elevated DDT is countered as well. They head to the floor with Kofi being sent into the barricade and the Elevated DDT on the floor knocks Kofi out cold. Back in and the RKO gets the pin at 13:43.

Rating: C. This was fine for the most part with some nice sequences throughout. Kofi is the perfect choice for a match like this as he doesn’t lose anything by getting pinned here. He could lose every match he ever has but will still be a credible guy in the ring. Orton gets a win over a name and looks good in the process so points all around.

Post match here’s Bryan to go after Orton despite having no reason to be furious. Agents and referees break it up.

Vickie yells at someone when Del Rio comes up. He thinks he should be named face of the WWE since he’s the only world champion and all. Del Rio sucks up to her a bit and gives her his scarf before kissing her on the cheek. He leaves and Vickie drops the scarf.

The final candidate is Shawn Michaels. He says that he and HHH are indeed personal friends, but this is about business. Shawn trained Daniel Bryan to wrestle but he wouldn’t let that nor his friendship with HHH sway him. He and Orton don’t like each other so that’s not a factor either. Shawn calls himself H-B-Shizzle, drawing a chant from the fans. He guarantees a new WWE Champion because he wants what’s best for the fans.

Here’s how to download the WWE App for Android.

We recap the opening segment. Again.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Ricardo Rodriguez

RVD is confirmed to be taking time off during the entrances. Non-title of course. Before the match, Vickie says that Alberto’s opponent at HIAC will be……..JOHN CENA? The distraction lets Ricardo get a quick rollup pin at 10 seconds.

Post match Alberto sends Ricardo into the announce table and Pillmanizes his arm.

John Cena tweets about the match which makes it sound official.

Fandango vs. Zack Ryder

Ryder pounds away to start but gets caught in a quick suplex for two. Ryder fights up and hits his usual though before Fandango bails to the floor. Back in and Fandango snaps his neck across the top and hits the guillotine legdrop for the pin at 2:45. Nothing to see here.

Shawn wins the poll by a landslide. Backlund actually got 1/3 of the vote.

Real Americans vs. Santino Marella/Great Khali

Swagger starts with Santino and it’s time to be goofy early on. Santino gets caught in the Real American corner as the fans chant for the bad guys. Cesaro comes in after the Vader Bomb for the double stomp for two. The ice cold tag brings in Khli as the crowd just does not care here. Some chops have Cesaro in trouble but he takes out Khali’s leg and puts on the swing, waking up the crowd immediately. The swing is good for the pin on Khali at 3:52.

Rating: D. Match sucked, swing was awesome, those are my entire thoughts on this stupid match.

Post match Horny gets put in the Swing but Santino makes the save with the Cobra.

Breast cancer sucks.

Here’s Miz for MizTV but before he can get the name out it’s Wyatt time. The lights come out and the Family is in the ring but Miz runs after Bray. He gets in a few shots and gets behind Bray who grabs the Family around their necks and leans over to look at Miz.

Brad begs for mercy from Stephanie when HHH comes in. He’ll be at ringside for the main event tonight.

Shield vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust/Daniel Bryan

HHH comes out to watch the match. Goldust starts with Rollins and spits in his face before firing off right hands. An atomic drop has Rollins in trouble and it’s off to Cody with a springboard missile dropkick for two. Ambrose comes in for some right hands but gets caught by a knee to the face for two. Back to Goldust to stomp away in the corner and get two off something resembling a bulldog.

Cody comes in again with right hands but Dean takes over in the corner. The moonsault press is countered by Dean shoving Cody off the top and out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Ambrose talking trash to Cody and choking away a bit. Cody breaks up a belly to back superplex attempt and hits the moonsault press to put both guys down. There’s the hot tag to Bryan to speed things up with Rollins.

The moonsault in the corner has Seth confused and a German suplex sets up the top rope hurricanrana for two. Everything breaks down and reigns takes the Disaster Kick. A Cactus Clothesline puts cody and Roman on the floor, leaving Daniel and Seth in the ring. The kick the head sets up the YES Lock but Ambrose hits Cody with a chair for the DQ at 11:00.

Scratch that as HHH says it doesn’t end with a DQ, so restart the match as a No DQ match. The brawling continues and it’s a FLYING GOAT to take out Ambrose and Reigns. Orton comes in from the crowd with an RKO on the floor, giving Rollins the pin on Bryan at 12:22 total.

Rating: C. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and the ending was kind of confusing. I guess it’s to seem like HHH will rig the booking to his benefit but they could have done the same finish without the switch at the end. The match wasn’t all that great due to a lack of time, but it still worked well enough for a screwy finish.

Post match the beating is on but here’s Big Show (to music) to stalk HHH. Shield guards the boss but Show gets in the ring anyway. They swarm him but are easily tossed away, leaving just HHH vs. Show. Shield pops back up though and beats down Show as HHH takes his jacket off. He throws them off again and KO’s HHH, leaving Bryan to stand over the boss to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad but you could see A LOT of filler in this. It’s very clear that HIAC is just Battleground part 2 which is understandable but doesn’t make it interesting. Shawn Michaels as guest referee should help a bit but there’s only so much he can do. Cena returning will help a lot but it’s really early given how bad his arm was. This was a more coherent show, but it still fees like everyone but Bryan is the focus and that’s not good.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Damien Sandow – Fameasser

Natalya/JoJo/Eva Marie b. Alicia Fox/Rosa Mendes/Aksana – Sharpshooter to Fox

Los Matadores b. 3MB – Double Angle Slam to McIntyre

CM Punk/R-Truth b. Ryback/Curtis Axel – Ax kick to Axel

Randy Orton b. Kofi Kingston – RKO

Fandango b. Zack Ryder – Guillotine legdrop

Real Americans b. Santino Marella/Great Khali – Cesaro Swing to Khali

Shield b. Daniel Bryan/Cody Rhodes/Goldust – Rollins pinned Bryan after an RKO from Randy Orton

 

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According to WWE he will be at least.Tonight it was announced that Del Rio will defend against Cena at HIAC, but I’m skeptical about this.  Two months out for a torn tricep is a VERY fast return, even by Cena’s standards.  It’s possible of course, but I’d be surprised if this was true.  To be fair though Cena tweeted that he’ll be at the show so maybe it’s happening.  This comes off like a “our ratings suck so let’s get him back early” move.

Seriously.

 

Battleground 2013
Date: October 6, 2013
Location: First Niagara Center, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’ve arrived at one of the least interesting shows in recent memory. There’s just not much interest in this show and I can’t say I’m surprised. The world title matches are both rematches and the other two main matches aren’t anything huge. There just isn’t much to go on with this show and it’s going to be even worse next time with HIAC. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Dolph Ziggler vs. Damien Sandow

Sandow quotes Benjamin Franklin and talks about progress. Tonight he’ll show you what progress is about by beating a former Money in the Bank winner, but if the hardcore match goes the way he thinks, you’ll see him again as World Heavyweight Champion. Sandow grabs a headlock to start before taking Ziggler down with some clotheslines. Ziggler comes right back with a dropkick and the ten elbow drops to wake the crowd up. Damien will have none of this being in trouble stuff though and whips Ziggler over the corner as we take a break.

Back with Dolph getting two off a small package, only to get clotheslined down for the same result. We hit an arm stretch by Sandow for a bit before Sandow goes up, only to jump into a dropkick to the shoulder. Ziggler comes back with ten right hands in the corner but misses the Fameasser and gets caught with an Edge-O-Matic for two.

Damien kicks out the knee and hits a flip neckbreaker for two more as this match just keeps going. The Terminus is countered and the Fameasser gets a near fall for Dolph. Damien blocks the Zig Zag and rolls Ziggler up for two but tweaks his knee coming out of the corner, allowing Dolph to hit the Zig Zag for the pin at 10:11.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t terrible but man alive it wasn’t interesting. Both of these guys have been beaten down so much that it’s almost impossible to care about either one of them. The stakes in this match were so low and the match just kept going, making it even worse. Not much of interest here but it wasn’t the worst match ever with some decent near falls.

The opening video recaps the Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton feud.

World Heavyweight Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio is defending and this is a hardcore match. Alberto immediately heads to the floor but gets dropkicked through the ropes to give Van Dam control. A moonsault off the barricade puts the champion down and a slingshot DDT onto a chair gets two back inside. Alberto comes back with a wicked Backstabber for two before a few chair shots get the same. The chair is wedged between the top and middle ropes but Rob comes back with a kick to the face.

Rob pulls out a ladder and blasts Alberto in the face to knock him out to the floor. Back in and Rolling Thunder onto Del Rio onto the ladder only hits the ladder and the champion takes over. He snaps off the enziguri and stomps the ladder onto Rob for two before grabbing a trashcan. Rob dropkicks it back into his face and both guys are down.

A superkick puts the champion down and there’s the split legged moonsault onto Del Rio onto the ladder for two. Rolling Thunder hits the ladder again and there’s the armbreaker. Ricardo makes the save by hitting Del Rio with the bucket, earning himself a trip to the floor and a whip into the barricade.

Rob dropkicks the ladder into Del Rio and hits the Five Star onto the ladder onto Del Rio on the floor. Back in (I guess hardcore no longer means pinfalls count anywhere) Del Rio kicks out at two. A Van Terminator attempt misses and both guys are down. Del Rio gets the chair and drops Rob face first onto the steel before kicking Rob in the head to take over. He wraps it around the arm crushes it in the chair and puts on the armbreaker to retain at 16:03.

Rating: C+. The match was fun but again I don’t get the appeal of this feud at all. There isn’t much chemistry here and hopefully this is it between these two. The gimmick helped a bit but Del Rio’s title reign is just dragging at this point. He’s not bad in the ring at all but he’s crashed into the ceiling of his abilities and it’s hurting everyone now.

The Real Americans want to dip Khali and Santino in boiling hot oil. They also don’t like Buffalo that much.

Santino Marella/Great Khali vs. Real Americans

Swagger and Santino fight over a top wristlock to start with Jack taking him to the mat. Santino still can’t do the nipup so the fans chant for the Real Americans. Santino loads up the Cobra but Swagger bails to the floor, only to have to deal with Horny’s mini-Cobra. Thankfully Jack rips it up and goes back inside so Cesaro can stomp him Marella down a bit. Cesaro steals the stupid sock and it’s back to Swagger for a Vader Bomb and a running stomp by Antonio.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before it’s back to Swagger to pull on Santino’s arms. Santino suplexes out of it and finally brings in Khali. The giant pounds Cesaro down in the corner and hits the loud overhand chop. JBL: “That knocked one of the languages out of Cesaro.” Khali chops both Real Americans down and Santino dives over the top to take out Swagger. We FINALLY get to the point of the match as Cesaro swings Khali around for a remarkable 17 seconds and gets the pin at 7:05.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing of note other than the ending, but to be fair that’s what the entire match was designed to set up. Cesaro is going to have to be a face soon if he keeps swinging people around as it’s such an awesome looking move that people aren’t going to boo him. Now let’s see how WWE screws up with him and wastes his potential again.

Breast cancer is bad.

Intercontinental Title: R-Truth vs. Curtis Axel

This is the result of Truth beating Axel on a fluke earlier this week. Truth takes over to start by pounding away in the corner and sends Axel to the floor. Axel sends Truth into the barricade a few times for two back inside and the match slows down. The champion chokes Truth a bit and gets two off a dropkick before we hit the chinlock. Truth fights up and hits some forearms to set up a rollup for two. The spinning forearm gets the same and so does the sitout gordbuster. Axel sends him into the buckle and the fans chant boring. Thankfully Axel listens to them and hits his neckbreaker into a cutter to retain at 6:32.

Rating: D. I’m really getting tired of this idea of some random guy pins the champion and getting a title shot as a result. Instead, why not have Truth beat a bunch of guys (say everyone in 3MB, Swagger and one other guy) and earns a title shot as a result? It makes Axel look like he’s beating someone of note and gives Truth some credibility coming into the match. Nah that’s a stupid idea so let’s just have them trade wins like they do all the time.

We recap the pre-show.

Divas Title: AJ Lee vs. Brie Bella

Brie is challenging and takes AJ down with ease, sending the champion out to the floor. AJ hides behind Tamina and heads back inside to take over. Brie is sent into the post and AJ goes after the arm, wrapping it around the middle rope. Brie’s DDT is countered into a DDT on the arm for two before sending her shoulder first “into” the post.

AJ keeps shouting about being better than Brie before going off on the bad arm with elbows. Off to a Fujiwara Armbar but AJ lets it go to skip around the ring. Brie dropkicks her down and hits some really basic stuff before knocking AJ down with a running knee. Tamina is choking Nikki Bella down though and the distraction lets AJ roll up Brie for the pin with a handful of tights at 6:32.

Rating: D+. To recap this story, AJ won the Divas Title clean, defeated every one of the Total Divas in the same match with a completely clean submission hold, and has held the title against all of them, but we’re supposed to boo her because the other girls are catty to each other on a reality show. The match was nothing you wouldn’t see on Raw, but the fans were more into it than they were the IC Title match.

We recap the Rhodes Family’s troubles, setting up the tag match tonight.

Dusty and his kids are ready for Shield. Cody gives a great speech about how his family may not be perfect but they fight for each other.

Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Seth Rollins/Roman Reigns

If the Rhodes Family wins, they get their jobs back. If Shield wins, Cody and Goldust are gone forever and Dusty loses his job too. This is also non-title. Dusty is at ringside to counter act Dean Ambrose and Goldust looks like Darth Maul. Cody pounds away on Seth to start and it’s quickly off to Roman who gets pounded down in the corner. Shield bails to the floor and stalks Dusty, setting up a cool looking six man standoff with the brothers protecting their dad.

Back in and Roman knees Cody down as the champions take over. Seth comes in but walks into an elbow to the jaw and a stomping in the corner. Rollins sends him into the buckle to escape and it’s off to Roman for some power. After an easy pounding it’s quickly back to Rollins to crank on the shoulder a bit. Cody gets caught in the Tree of Woe but frees up a leg to kick Seth down. The moonsault press hits Rollins perfectly and the hot tag brings in Goldust.

An atomic drop slows Reigns down and Goldust pounds him down in the corner. Goldust hits a spinning cross body off the top for two but misses a regular cross body, sending him out to the floor. Goldie dives back in at nine but gets caught in a body scissors from Rollins. Back to Reigns for a good looking clothesline for two before it’s back to Rollins who gets the same off a hilo. Goldust comes back by avoiding a dropkick and powerslamming Seth down. There’s the hot tag off to Cody for an Alabama Slam to Rollins for a very near fall. Something like a Muscle Buster gets two on Rollins and everything breaks down. The Disaster Kick staggers Reigns and Cody clotheslines him to the floor but an Ambrose distraction allows Seth to come back in for the save. Dusty elbows Ambrose down and Seth rolls up Cody for two. Rhodes comes pops back up and hits Cross Rhodes for the pin at 13:55.

Rating: B. This was ALL about emotion coming in but the match was good stuff on top of that. Again, this match worked because we were given a reason to care about the underdogs and wanted to see them win instead of being told we wanted to see them win. That’s how you make a good story and it worked perfectly well here.

The Rhodes family celebrates and some tag teams, Mike Rotundo and Arn Anderson come out to celebrate. The old school fan in me cringes at Dusty and Arn celebrating together.

Hell in a Cell ad with R-Truth preaching against its evils.

The expert panel of Tensai, Titus O’Neil and Miz talk about the show so far.

Brad and Vickie bicker about who is at fault for the Rhodes’ win.

Kofi Kingston vs. Bray Wyatt

Bray runs him over to start but Kofi comes back with a kick to the face. Kofi gets crotched while going up top so Bray can take over with some shots to the ribs and a neck lock. The fans start the Randy Savage chants as the match drags on. Kofi fights up but gets caught in another chinlock. Back up again and Kofi hits a dropkick followed by the Boom Drop, only to miss Trouble in Paradise.

Bray runs Kingston over with the cross body before going to the corner to bend back and look at Kofi upside down. Wyatt ups the ante a bit though by doing the Exorcist spider walk, sending Kofi running to the floor. Bray follows him out but Kofi runs back in and hits a BIG flip dive to take out the entire Family. Back in and Kofi gets two off a cross body, but the SOS is countered into Sister Abigail’s Kiss for the pin at 8:37.

Rating: C-. Those rest holds were death but Bray was so freaky in this match with the spider walk and Kofi’s dive helped a lot too. This show is dying as it goes though and the match didn’t help a lot. The Wyatts need to move up the card, but at least their antics are still creepy enough to make you take notice.

We recap Punk vs. Ryback. There’s not much to this one: Punk was about to kill Heyman last month when Ryback interfered as the newest Paul Heyman Guy. Tonight is Punk’s first step back towards revenge and Heyman himself.

CM Punk vs. Ryback

They stare at each other to start until Punk fires off some kicks to the legs, sending Ryback out to the floor. Punk follows him out and sends Ryback face first into the barricade and then into the post for good measure. Ryback shrugs it off and takes Punk back inside for a slam off the top to gain control. Punk’s ribs are sent into the post and we hit the chinlock.

A legdrop gets two on Punk and Ryback pounds away with some hard kicks. Ryback stays on Punk and shoves him around with his boot as this is still in slow motion. Off to a chinlock with a bodyscissors as the fans are getting restless. Punk finally comes back with some kicks and a swinging neckbreaker but Heyman grabs a mic and brags about beating Punk, allowing Ryback to come back back with a huge powerbomb for two.

Another powerbomb attempt is countered with a kick to the head and the Macho Elbow for two. Ryback fights out of the GTS and powerslams Punk down for two of his own. Punk is choked on the ropes, allowing Heyman to load up a kendo stick shot as the referee pulls Ryback away. The referee does his job for once though and catches Heyman before the swing, allowing Punk to low blow Ryback for the pin at 14:51.

Rating: C+. This was fine but the ending left a lot to be desired. Ryback is a lot better just showing off with power moves but the ending was never really in doubt as the story has to get to Punk vs. Heyman. That’s not a bad thing but like the rest of this show, it feels like an exercise in pointlessness.

More from the expert panel.

We recap the main event. Orton cashed in on Bryan at Summerslam, Bryan pinned him at Night of Champions but there was a shady referee, meaning the title was held up, setting up tonight’s match.

There’s a slight delay as the PPV feed cuts out for some reason. We come back to see the announcer and referee standing around in the ring.

WWE Title: Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

No champion coming in and after the big match intros we’re ready to go. Feeling out process to start as they trade headlocks with Orton taking over. Bryan scores with a dropkick but Orton takes him right back down and rakes his boot over Daniel’s eyes. Bryan throws Orton off and fires away with the kicks as the fans finally have something to cheer for tonight. Daniel goes after Orton’s knee with a freaky leg hold before hitting some more kicks to the chest.

Orton breaks up a superplex attempt by crotching Bryan on the ropes before clotheslining him down for two. Randy pounds away in the corner and gets two more off a snap powerslam. We hit the chinlock for a bit followed by a knee to the ribs to stop Bryan again. Daniel fights up again and headscissors Orton to the floor for the FLYING GOAT. Back in and Bryan’s missile dropkick is countered into a powerbomb and a Boston crab of all things. Bryan slips out and kicks some more but can’t get the YES Lock.

They head outside and Orton goes into Predator mode, sending Bryan into the post, the barricade and then the post again. Back in and a superplex gets two on Daniel as the crowd isn’t really into this. A backslide gets two for Bryan and there’s a big kick to the head for the same. Daniel goes up top again but Orton shoves him off the top and out to the floor with a big thud. Orton loads up the announce table but Bryan comes back with even more kicks and sends Orton into the steps.

A BIG cross body to the floor takes Randy out and the swan dive is good for a very close two. Bryan is all fired up now and hits the corner dropkicks as the fans FINALLY go nuts. Bryan snaps off more kicks but gets caught in a t-bone suplex to put both guys down. There’s the Elevated DDT and Orton loads up the RKO, only to have Bryan shove it away and grab the YES Lock.

Cue Big Show to pull the referee out and knock Bryan out cold, albeit against his will. Brad Maddox waves Scott Armstrong to the ring but Big Show pulls him out for a KO punch of his own. Orton looks furious as Big Show gets in the ring and knocks out Orton. Big Show’s music plays and the show goes off the air with no winner after about 25:00.

Rating: B. Another good match from these two but it didn’t feel like a classic at all. The ending was straight out of the Attitude Era which isn’t a good thing. It’s clear that they’re setting up the big showdown in the Cell, but that’s not what they needed to do here. If Bryan loses there he’s more or less done, but again the show ends with the focus on Big Show instead of Bryan or the champion. Horrible ending.

Overall Rating: D. And that’s being generous. This show felt like an In Your House with a big time main event and that’s not a good thing. The problem here is we’ve covered the main event already and the tag match was only so good. This whole story is such a mess anymore and the bright spots can only help it so much. It’s not going to get any better either as we have another three weeks before the Cell, which will likely be more of the same.

The worst part of this show though is that I didn’t enjoy it. Other than the Rhodes match and the main event, what was there to be excited about? This show felt like a chore to sit through coming in and didn’t redeem itself at all. The good stuff was pretty good, but everything else was just dull and worthless, which isn’t what you need when you have two shows in a month.

Results

Alberto Del Rio b. Rob Van Dam – Cross Armbreaker

Real Americans b. Santino Marella/Great Khali – Cesaro Swing to Khali

Curtis Axel b. R-Truth – Neckbreaker into a faceplant

AJ Lee b. Brie Bella – Rollup

Cody Rhodes/Goldust b. Seth Rollins/Roman Reigns – Cross Rhodes to Rollins

Bray Wyatt b. Kofi Kingston – Sister Abigail’s Kiss

CM Punk b. Ryback – Low blow

Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton went to a no contest

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It’s Santino/Khali vs. Real Americans.  My prediction:Cesaro somehow gets Khali in the giant swing, then loses to Santino via rollup, followed by me throwing things and ranting about how stupid WWE is.