This is something TNA has been doing more often and it could be used again.On some of their One Night Only shows, TNA has had matches be for a cash prize. This is something you would see a lot more of back in the day and is an effective idea to keep people out of title matches. Just say the winner of a match gets $25,000 and you have a one night gimmick. It worked back in the day and it can work again.
You’ve probably overlooked it.They have reasonable objectives. They’re not here to take over WWE, they’re not here to try to shut the company down, and they’re not here to take out a certain person. Shield is in WWE to win titles and be the best around. It’s SO much better than hearing about whatever group is here to get power or take over. Sometimes it’s ok to just want titles instead of some huge goal.
Smackdown
Date: July 5, 2013
Location: Landon Arena, Topeka, Kansas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
We now know everyone in the MITB matches at the PPV so tonight is likely to be all about building towards the match, much like on Raw. Other than that we’re likely to get more between Ziggler and Del Rio after Dolph cost the champ a match against Cena. If we’re lucky we’ll even get more Daniel Bryan goodness. Let’s get to it.
The opening airs for the second week in a row. It’s better than the voiceover.
Here’s Punk to get us going. We get a clip of him getting annoyed at Curtis Axel for stealing the pin in their tag match on Raw. Punk says if he was Cena, he’d come out here and make a big speech about the 4th of July and how awesome it is, but thankfully for the fans, his name is CM Punk. To him, the 4th of July is about independence. A group of like minded guys got together and decided to not live by someone else’s rules. They were willing to die for what they believed in and that’s something Punk can get behind.
If Punk is given rules to follow, odds are he’s going to break them. When someone tells him to do something one way, odds are he’s going to run in the other direction. When he was told he was going to be the big thing after Wrestlemania, he walked away. When someone told him that his chances at winning another MITB match were really low, he decided to line them up and yell at them. He has two goals: get his hands on Brock Lesnar and become WWE Champion again.
Cue Alberto (Punk: “I wasn’t done.”) who says he was expecting more from Punk. Punk says he was expecting a cool car instead of just a guy in a cheap suit. Del Rio brags about being world champion and says this is his show. Alberto makes fun of Americans for stuffing themselves with hamburgers and hot dogs on Independence Day and then spending the rest of the year getting fatter and fatter. Then they come to Smackdown and cheer for Dolph Ziggler while chanting USA.
Punk wants to know why Del Rio has changed his tune so quickly. Just a few weeks ago Del Rio was bragging about being born in Mexico and made in the USA, but then everyone saw through him. Del Rio says Punk is a little chihuahua and someone like the world heavyweight champion needs to teach him some manners. Punk: “That just makes you the #1 contender to my title: Best in the world.” Nice line. Del Rio orders Punk out of his ring right now but remember Punk doesn’t like being told what to do. Teddy, main event made, moving on. This was a solid opening segment but unfortunately it results in a Del Rio main event.
Post break Heyman asks Punk if he can get the match canceled because Punk has nothing to gain. Punk says he wants to fight so Heyman offers to be in Punk’s corner at MITB. Punk declines again and Heyman looks annoyed.
Usos vs. Rhodes Scholars
The Scholars brag about winning MITB in nine days but the fans don’t seem to buy it. Cody starts with Jimmy but ramming the Samoan’s head into the buckle has no effect. I miss racial stereotypes in wrestling. Cody dropkicks Jimmy down and brings in Sandow to stomp away for a few seconds. The Russian legsweep sets up the Wind-Up Elbow for two before it’s back to Rhodes. Things quickly break down and both Scholars get superkicked, setting up a double Superfly Splash for the pin on Sandow at 2:17.
Post match the Shield pops up on screen and says the loss on Raw isn’t derailing their mission of justice. At Money in the Bank, the Usos are going to need more than luck. Ambrose says that Monday was Christian’s one chance out of 100 to get lucky. Prepare to live in a world where Dean Ambrose is waiting in the shadows with a Money in the Bank briefcase.
Alicia Fox vs. Kaitlyn
Fox drives Kaitlyn into the corner to start and gets two off a quick suplex. We hit the chinlock thirty seconds into the match before Alicia slams Kaitlyn head first into the mat. Back to the chinlock but Kaitlyn fights up….and here’s AJ to skip around the ring. Kaitlyn fights the urge to stare at AJ for a bit but finally knocks her off the apron, allowing Alicia to hit the most devastating move in all of wrestling: the ROLLUP OF DISTRACTION, for the pin at 2:45.
Post match the Bellas stop AJ and say that she needs to watch out because they’ll be taking the Divas Title soon. Langston runs them off but AJ is scared of Kaitlyn coming to get her. It isn’t that bad though because Kaitlyn is less aerodynamic because of those big man arms. Langston wants to know what AJ is going to do for Dolph’s match later but she’ll just text him and it’ll be all cool.
We recap the events between Bryan, Kane and Orton in their match on Monday.
Christian says that he’s beaten Orton before and he can do it again tonight. Orton says he’s beaten Christian before and he’ll do it again tonight in one more match.
Wyatt Family promo.
Randy Orton vs. Christian
Feeling out process to start with Orton taking Chrsitian down with a shoulder. A clothesline gets two for Randy but Christian sends him throat first into the middle rope. Christian tries the uppercut from the floor but Orton ducks away and tries the Elevated DDT, only to have Christian counter with a backdrop to the floor. We take a break and come back with Orton getting up from a missed knee drop but coming back with the Thesz Press.
Christian snaps Orton’s throat across the top rope and gets two off the high cross before putting on a chinlock. Randy escapes and they slug it out again with Orton dropkicking Christian down. He tries the powerslam but Christian puts on the brakes to send Orton down. Instead Randy drives down punches in the corner and gets two off the falling powerbomb (think the Big Ending but with Christian facing up).
Christian avoids an RKO out of the corner but gets caught in a rolling cradle for two. Both finishers are countered and Christian puts Orton down with a belly to back suplex. The spear gets two but the Killswitch is countered into the Elevated DDT but Christian counters the RKO yet again. Christian jumps over Orton but walks into the RKO for the pin at 9:48 shown of 12:48.
Rating: B-. I loved the idea of both guys knowing each other so well that they can counter all the signature stuff. It worked two years ago in their big feud and it still works very well here. Both guys looked good out there, but why put Orton over Christian when the Canadian is already an underdog in the ladder match?
Teddy Long tells Heyman to do commentary on the main event tonight.
We get a clip from the App with Ziggler telling AJ to see the big picture: forget Kaitlyn and become a power couple.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Drew McIntyre
Before the match Ziggler talks about how fast the last few months have gone. He won the world title from Alberto Del Rio and then Del Rio was trying as hard as he could to make people like him. Ziggler may be cocky, but he’s never claimed to be something he’s not. At MITB, he’s taking back his world title.
Dolph fires off right hands in the corner but a hurricanrana attempt is countered into a buckle bomb for two. Drew stomps him in the corner and gets two off a snap suplex. A chinlock is quickly broken so Drew puts him down with a pair of backbreakers. Ziggler comes back with the corner splash and a dropkick before countering a tilt-a-whirl into the Zig Zag for the pin at 3:11.
Rating: D+. There isn’t much you can get out of a three minute match, but it’s nice to see the jobbers being used like they’re supposed to be. Ziggler gets an easy win and the jobbers don’t lose anything as a result. There wasn’t much to see here but it makes sense given the post match stuff from Raw.
Ziggler bails to avoid a three on one attack. He charges back in, gets in a few shots and then bails again to mess with the Band.
We get the career retrospective on Mark Henry from Raw.
Fandango vs. Justin Gabriel
Fandango quickly takes him down and dances a bit, only to have Gabriel kick his head off. Justin sends him face first into the apron but charges into a knee to the face. The top rope legdrop is good for the pin on Justin at 1:36.
We The People talk about how many Americans don’t appreciate the Fourth of July.
Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk
Heyman is on commentary. They take turns shoving each other into the corner with Punk snapmaring him down and hitting a dropkick to the back of Alberto’s head. Del Rio fires off right hands in the corner but misses a charge to put him down. Alberto rolls to the floor to avoid the Macho Elbow and we take a break. Back with Del Rio hitting a running kick to the arm in the corner before putting on an armbar. The low superkick gets two on Punk as Heyman talks about Cole being a Paul Heyman guy back in the day.
The armbar is countered into a GTS attempt but Del Rio escapes into the Codebreaker to the arm for two. A kick to the head gets two more and it’s back to the armbar. Del Rio may be boring but his psychology is sound. If your finishing move is an arm hold, why focus on anything but softening up the arm? Punk slams him down and goes up top but Alberto hits a nasty running enziguri for two.
Punk comes back with some kicks and clotheslines but charges into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. A baseball slide sends him to the floor and Del Rio whips him shoulder first into the barricade. Alberto loads up the announce table and punches Heyman down, sending Punk into a rage. It’s a double countout at 7:40 shown of 10:40. Lillian calls it a no contest by way of a double countout. Are we not allowed to say draw anymore?
Rating: D+. This was dull stuff with a long stretch of the match being spent in the same armbar. Del Rio’s psychology may be sound, but man alive can his matches be dull a lot of the time. The ending makes sense as you want to keep both guys looking strong and Del Rio can’t lose two matches in a week.
Del Rio takes the GTS and Punk checks on Heyman to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. This show did a good job of building up the PPV matches but it wasn’t great on its own. The problem with the episode was they spent a lot of time focusing on the All-Star ladder match which left the Smackdown ladder match in the cold. It’s not all that strong on its own and needs all the build it can get, but the show’s main event and featured match were about the other ladder match. Not a bad show this week but it needed better prioritizing.
Results
Usos b. Rhodes Scholars – Double Superfly Splash to Sandow
Alicia Fox b. Kaitlyn – Rollup
Randy Orton b. Christian – RKO
Dolph Ziggler b. Drew McIntyre – Zig Zag
Fandango b. Justin Gabriel – Top rope legdrop
CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio went to a double countout
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade From Amazon for just $4 at:
NXT
Date: July 5, 2011
Location: Tucson Arena, Tucson, Arizona
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal
We’re at episode 18 here and I’m truly starting to wonder something. I’ll be at the Smackdown/NXT tapings on August 2 and I’m honestly not sure if the new season will have started yet. This is already the longest season of the show so far and now all of a sudden we have three finalists instead of two. This could go on for awhile. Let’s get to it.
We recap the eliminations this season and the return of Derrick Bateman and his pro Daniel Bryan from last week. I still don’t get how this is fair or really needed.
Striker and Maryse bring out the rookies and pros. We go over the Redemption Points with Bateman of course in third place. Time for the Talk the Talk Challenge with the topic of why should you win. Young talks about how unfair it is to put Bateman back in after Young has spent 17 weeks working to get here and now without a pro.
Titus says he’s dominated the competition all over and actually makes it rain redemption points. That was kind of funny. Bateman says O’Neil said his football team is better than the local one. Bateman says he and Bryan are the best things to happen to the internet since kitten videos. He gets booed loudly and Titus wins, further proving that these Redemption Points are totally pointless.
We get a quick recap of Yoshi freaking over the broken action figure last week. Can’t say they’re repeating stuff with that one.
Yoshi Tatsu vs. Tyson Kidd
Well it was great last week so I can’t complain on a rematch. Grisham says it was five stars. The show is on the internet so that fits perfectly. Yoshi fires off some kicks (actually called Kawada kicks by Regal) and we go to the floor for a bit. Back inside Tyson hammers him down in the corner but can’t get a rollup. They head to the apron and Kidd blocks a suplex.
Kiss manages to kick him off the apron back first into the post. We take a break to talk about That’s What I Am which really shouldn’t stun me. Back with Kidd working on the back until Tatsu reverses a suplex into a cross body for two. Kidd hits a suplex and locks on a double chickenwing on the mat. Yoshi fights up and chops away including a kick to put Kidd down.
Tatsu goes up so Kidd tries the Kurt Angle run up for a (vertical in this case) suplex but gets dropped. Spinwheel kick catches Kidd in the hands so badly that Regal has to say it didn’t really hit. That gets two and Kidd dropkicks the shin. That sets up a Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza for the pin at 9:09. For those of you unfamiliar with the general insanity of Perry Saturn, it’s a fisherman’s suplex but instead of bridging back you spin the guy around like a neckbreaker.
Rating: C+. Well it wasn’t bad but to say the other match was better is a huge understatement. Too much resting going on here and nowhere near enough near falls to make this one work. Not bad, but given what they did last week it was going to be pretty hard to top it here. Still good though.
Profile on Derrick Bateman, who really shouldn’t have been eliminated last season, especially not while Johnny “so bland that white paint on growing grass calls you bland” Curtis was around.
Horny is still trying to give Maryse flowers. They happen to be dead and include Twizzlers and banana peels. She says that should get him a kiss but she hits him with the flowers instead. Titus can’t console him.
Titus O’Neil/Darren Young vs. Daniel Bryan/Derrick Bateman
According to Todd, Bateman was supposed to be part of this season but tore his MCL. Bateman and Young start us off with Bateman sending him to the floor. Off to Bryan for a little Nexus on Nexus violence. DB and DB work on Young’s arm but he’s able to fight off Bateman and bring in Titus.
That doesn’t last long and neither guy really gets anything going. Back to Young for a chinlock. Grisham says Regal could make a burning orphanage sound funny. When I woke up today, I didn’t think I’d hear that line. Titus slams Bateman down as the beating continues.
Young doesn’t do as well, allowing the hot tag to Bryan. He hits a running dropkick in the corner to Young, followed by a suplex and swan dive headbutt. Bryan backflips out of a suplex and staggers into the corner, tagging Bateman which I’m not sure was intentional. Bryan takes out O’Neil and Bateman grabs a headlock and drives Young’s head into the mat like a Skull Crushing Finale for the pin at 6:22.
Rating: C. Just a tag match here and not a very interesting one at all. The Bateman finisher was pretty weak an dit’s pretty clear that they’re going to have Bateman vs. O’Neil in the final two, assuming there is a final two. Nothing special here, but then again Bateman never was anything special in the ring.
The last 13 minutes of the show are used to completely reair the Vince/Cena closing segment from last night, which was good but I don’t want to see it all over again just 24 hours later.
Overall Rating: D+. Didn’t like this one at all as the whole show felt like filler. No mention of another elimination so based on the track record of this show so far, that means we’ll be here at least two more weeks. I was only half kidding earlier when I mentioned August 2 but it’s looking more and more possible. Didn’t like this as both matches were pretty bland and ¼ of the show is a segment from Raw. Nothing to see here at all.
Results
Titus O’Neil won the Talk the Talk Challenge
Tyson Kidd b. Yoshi Tatsu – Fisherman’s neckbreaker
Derrick Bateman/Daniel Bryan b. Darren Young/Titus O’Neil – Headlock into a facejam to Young
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:
ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: November 21, 2006
Location: Nassau Coliseum, New York City, New York
Attendance: 10,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Taz
I’ve really got to stop these five month breaks between reviewing shows. The main story here is we’re a week from Survivor Series and two weeks from December to Dismember. Yeah there was a week between PPVs and WWE was still surprised when the ECW show bombed. Tonight we finalize some plans for the Extreme Elimination Chamber match with RVD defending his spot against Hardcore Holly. Let’s get to it.
We open with Heyman narrating a video on Lashley jumping Hardcore Holly to take the last spot in the Extreme Elimination Chamber and taking Big Show down.
In a special treat tonight, the Hardy Boys will reunite.
Matt Striker has his classroom set up in the ring and says that we don’t have to wait for December to Dismember to see destruction. He compares his time as a teacher to Lashley’s tour of duty in the military but gets cut off by his opponent.
Bobby Lashley vs. Matt Striker
Lashley clears the classroom stuff out of the ring, including launching a DESK over his head. I’m talking about one of the big desks, not a school desk. Striker finally comes into the ring and is tossed around like a doll. A delayed vertical suplex sets up a spear and the Dominator ends Striker quick.
We get a clip of Jeff retaining the IC Title over Johnny Nitro in a ladder match last night.
Hardy Boys vs. Full Blooded Italians
Matt starts with Guido and cranks on the arm. It’s quickly off to the banged up Jeff to stay on the arm. The Hardys take turns cranking on the Italian’s limb before dropping Guido with a double back elbow. Tony Mamaluke comes in, only to walk into the Spin Cycle to put him down as well. Trinity, the Italians’ barely clothed manager, trips Jeff up to put him in trouble for the first time.
Mamaluke and Guido drop a double elbow on Jeff for two and it’s the Italians’ turn for some double teaming. Jeff finally fights up and hits a double dropkick to set up the hot tag to Matt. House is cleaned and the middle rope legdrop gets two on Guido. The Side Effect to Mamaluke sets up a middle rope powerbomb/neckbreaker combo to kill him dead. Matt lays Mamaluke out with the Twist and the Swanton is good for the pin.
Rating: C. Just a glorified squash here but there were a few dollars to be made off a Hardys reunion run so I can’t blame them for taking a shot here. The team still looked good together and were much more dangerous given their singles success around this time. The Mamalukes could have been any two guys and had the same result.
Heyman tells Van Dam that if he loses to Holly tonight, Holly gets his Chamber spot.
CM Punk vs. Kevin Thorn
Punk tries a go behind but Thorn pounds him down with ease instead. CM comes back with some kicks to the ribs, only to be dropped throat first on the top rope for his efforts. A backbreaker gets two for Thorn and it’s off to an early chinlock. Thorn transitions to a Boston crab as Kelly Kelly comes out to cheer Punk on. The cheering works as Punk slips through his legs and hooks the Anaconda Vice for the quick submission.
Post match Kelly celebrates with Punk but Ariel comes in for a catfight. Punk makes the save and the good people stand tall. Mike Knox stares them down from the ramp.
Here are Big Show and Heyman with something to say. Show talks about how dangerous the Chamber is going to be while using words like barbaric and brutality. He’s up against five challengers in the match but he likes his odds. No one from Undertaker to Flair to Batista has been able to beat him….and here’s Lashley. Bobby is ready to go but Show walks away, only to slug Lashley down. He loads up the WMD but Lashley beats him to the punch and sends him to the floor. Lashley wants to fight but Heyman holds him back.
Video on the EVILS of the Chamber.
Rob Van Dam vs. Hardcore Holly
This is extreme rules and the winner goes to the Chamber. Before the match, Test fires Holly up in the back in a pointless moment. Were they running 15 seconds short or something? They slug it out to start with Rob taking over and kicking Holly in the head. Rolling Thunder gets two on Holly and Van Dam takes him to the floor for the spin kick to the back. We take a break and come back with Rob catapulting Holly into the bottom rope and hitting a spinwheel kick in the corner.
Rob stalks Holly but gets launched head first into a chair wedged between the ropes during the break. Holly stomps the chair onto Rob’s face for two and a hot shot onto the chair gets the same. Off to a chinlock for a bit but Van Dam comes back with a Stunner over the top rope to put Holly down. Van Dam tries to bring in another chair but Holly dropkicks him right back to the floor. Back in again and Hardcore puts the chair over Rob’s face for a guillotine legdrop, crushing Van Dam’s face.
Holly can’t follow up due to banging his leg on the chair and both guys are down. It’s Holly up first and stealing the timekeeper’s belt to give Rob a whooping. Van Dam knocks it out of his hands and kicks Holly in the face to get himself a breather. They slug it out with Rob taking over before superkicking Holly down.
A monkey flip sets up a top rope kick to the chest followed by the skateboard chair shot to the face. Rolling Thunder onto the chair gets two but Holly pelts the chair at Van Dam’s head to put him back down. Holly gets crotched on the top and superplexed down onto the chair, followed by the Five Star onto the chair for the pin.
Rating: C+. This started slow but got better in the end. As usual in ECW, the heels being very weak make these matches hard to get into. I mean, I’m supposed to believe Hardcore Holly is going to beat Rob Van Dam? Anyway, Holly was trying and the weapon shots weren’t bad, but the guys in the ring made it too hard to buy into.
Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t a bad show and they’re doing a good job of setting up the Chamber. Sabu and Test were barely here at all and RVD and Punk have their own stories going on instead of the Chamber, but Lashley is a monster who could hang with Big Show. By this point it’s clear that this is the WWE version of ECW instead of the original and thank goodness for that.
Here’s Survivor Series if you’re interested:
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:
NXT
Date: July 3, 2013
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tony Dawson, William Regal
It’s another big week on NXT as the Wyatt Family now has William Regal to deal with in addition to Graves and Ohno. On the singles side we have Leo Kruger looking like the first challenger for Bo Dallas, which is an odd choice as Dallas seems to be ready for a heel turn but he’s facing a heel in Leo. Let’s get to it.
Here’s Bo Dallas in the back for an interview. Renee asks him about Leo Kruger coming out and holding up the title after Dallas’ match last week. Dallas says the Bo-lievers (Renee: “Bo-lievers?” Dallas: “Yes the Bo-lievers.”) will be behind him against anyone. He brags about meeting Bret Hart at Wrestlemania and having a match at Wrestlemania Axxess, which he earned just like when he beat Big E. Langston.
Antonio Cesaro comes in and says Dallas hasn’t earned anything. Tonight he’ll take Dallas’ title in the name of We The People. Dallas introduces Cesaro to Renee, calling him the most insignificant US Champion in WWE history. Dallas was acting much more heelish here and it helped him a lot.
NXT Women’s Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Alicia Fox vs. Paige
Fox takes it to the mat in a headscissors with her long legs but Paige counters into a headlock. Fox pulls her down by the hair and immediately bails to the floor. Back in and Paige fires off rapid fire elbows in the corner but Fox sweeps her legs out and gets two off a northern lights suplex. Off to a chinlock with a knee in Paige’s back but she escapes with a jawbreaker. Paige throws her around by the hair and hits a knee to the face, only to walk into a dropkick for two. Not that it matters though as Paige kicks her in the ribs and hits the Paige Turner to send her to the finals at 4:44.
Rating: C-. This was much better for Paige than the match against Snuka a few weeks back as Paige looked competitive against a former Divas Champion. Fox is good in a role like this as she’s been around for awhile and is a name in the division (granted not a huge one) so a win like this makes Paige look better. You can only dominate the other NXT girls for so long before it stops meaning anything.
Andy Baker vs. Conor O’Brien
O’Brien now has Rick Victor with him as Kenneth Cameron’s replacement. Conor runs Baker over and shouts YOU’RE DEAD. Baker tries to fight back with some shots to the ribs but a flapjack and a legdrop from O’Brien are enough for the pin at 1:00.
Kassius Ohno was injured by the Wyatt Family last week and can’t compete for the tag titles. Corey Graves and Adrian Neville ask William Regal to join them.
Scott Dawson vs. Xavier Woods
The fans chant for Woods but Dawson kicks him in the ribs to take over. Woods comes back with a quick dropkick for a one count and it’s off to an armbar on Dawson. Scott backdrops him over the top, sending Woods face first into the apron. The fans are all over Dawson as he elbows Xavier in the face and drops a leg for two. We hit the chinlock for a few seconds but Woods fights up, hits the Honor Roll (front flip clothesline) and Lost in the Woods is good for the pin at 4:11.
Rating: C-. This wasn’t much to see but I’m glad Dawson isn’t on a winning streak anymore. Woods continues to be so high energy that it’s hard not to notice him. His antics are funny enough and having a nostalgia character is a good way to get your foot in the door. The match didn’t have long enough to go anywhere but it was hard hitting and energetic enough to not suck.
Bray Wyatt talks about people judging him for the way he looks. He’s a wolf and sheep’s clothing and if you knew what was behind his eyes, you would know why people are scared of him.
Enzo Amore vs. Mason Ryan
Enzo continues to be incredibly annoying and therefore a great new heel. He has 7’0 Colin Cassady with him…..and the match is over in 12 seconds with a single right hand from Ryan. Best part of the match is a line from Regal: “Is Amore the love child of DDP?”
Amore wants Ryan to fight Cassady RIGHT NOW.
Mason Ryan vs. Colin Cassady
Ryan throws him around and ends Cassady in 33 seconds with a cobra clutch slam.
NXT Title: Bo Dallas vs. Antonio Cesaro
The fans don’t care for Cesaro but they can’t stand Dallas. Cesaro is even cheered a bit during the big match intros. There’s a WE THE PEOPLE chant as Cesaro and Dallas feel each other out. Dawson: “What does it mean if Cesaro can beat Dallas tonight?” Regal: “That he’ll be the champion.” Cesaro cranks on the arm and the fans are have a “Let’s go Bo” and “No more Bo” dueling chant going between the women and men.
A shoulder block gets two for Cesaro as Dawson has to explain who Tim Tebow is to Regal. Cesaro sends Dallas to the floor as we take a break. Back with Cesaro holding a chinlock as Leo Kruger is standing on the ramp. A kick to the back keeps Dallas down and the fans ask Cesaro to do it again. He loads the kick up but drops down into another chinlock to tease the people.
Dallas fights up again and pounds away in the corner before getting two off a bulldog. Cesaro’s slam is countered into a reverse DDT for two more but the corner climbing bulldog is blocked. Cesaro puts him on the top for a gutwrench superplex for a very close two. A middle rope knee drop gets two on the champion and it’s off to the swinging chinlock.
Dallas rolls the chinlock over into a cradle for two but Cesaro comes back with a fallaway slam for two more. Cesaro goes up top but Dallas runs the corner for a butterfly superplex to put both guys down again. Antonio is sent into Kruger to knock Leo off the apron, allowing Dallas to hit the belly to belly to retain at 10:15 shown of 12:45.
Rating: C+. Very interesting crowd reactions aside, this match really took off in the last three minutes or so. Kruger interfering sets up some interesting dynamics down the line and gives Dallas an extra challenger to face. They’ll need to move forward with that heel turn soon, because the fans were cheering for the protege of a white supremacist over the young face champion.
Post match Kruger lays out Dallas but Cesaro knocks Kruger to the floor. Cesaro pounds on Dallas until Kruger gets back in for a staredown. They double team Dallas until Sami Zayn comes in for the save to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. This show had a lot of filler, but the main event was solid and it sets up a very interesting four way feud for the title. Zayn is fitting right into this show and WWE sending big names down to Florida can only help things out. This was a good sign for the future and was an entertaining hour of wrestling.
Results
Paige b. Alicia Fox – Paige Turner
Conor O’Brien b. Andy Baker – Legdrop
Xavier Woods b. Scott Dawson – Lost in the Woods
Mason Ryan b. Enzo Amore – Right Hand
Mason Ryan b. Colin Cassady – Cobra Clutch
Bo Dallas b. Antonio Cesaro – Belly to belly suplex
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:
Smackdown
Date: July 4, 2002
Location: Fleet Center, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz
This was a requested show and I don’t really know of anything significant on it other than one match which really wasn’t anything special. Anyway, we’re just barely into the WWE era at this point and we have an Undisputed Champion. Oh wait if that’s the case I think I know why this was a requested show, other than the date that is. Let’s get to it.
We open with a video of Edge talking about getting hurt in a cage match with Angle. He said he’ll be back and that’s tonight. Jericho came out and laughed at him about it, triggering a brawl. Jericho cracked the shoulder with a chair. Later in the night (or month, it’s not really clear) Jericho was about to do the same to Hogan when Jericho’s own music played. Edge came out for the save in his return. You would think this would lead to a match tonight or at the PPV, but it actually lead to a match at the Smackdown after the PPV, which is a little weird.
I miss the Beautiful People as Smackdown’s theme.
Oh I almost forgot: this is right around the time the company switched from WWF to WWE.
Lillian Garcia sings America the Beautiful. Lance Storm and the UnAmericans cut her off and I think I can hear Finlay being fired from here. Christian asks if the people know why Independence Day is celebrated. It wasn’t the day Will Smith defeated a bunch of aliens you know. Storm tells us what happened back then and about how the Americans went all over the world using its military force where it had no business. Test talks a bit as well. This is going on too long now.
Lance Storm vs. Rikishi
Feeling out process to start and Storm speeds things up. He strikes away and drops down onto the chest on a sunset flip attempt. The other UnAmericans interfere during the Banzai Drop, allowing Test to hit a big boot to Rikishi’s head and knock him to the mat. Storm gets the easy pin. This wasn’t much.
Taker, the Undisputed Champion, is here.
Here’s your historic moment, although it was last week. Kurt Angle issues an open challenge and a young kid debuts and takes the challenge. His name: John Cena.
Stacy goes up to the locker room and Henry answers. She asks if Cena is in there and here he is, in the green trunks and looking like a deer in the headlights. She says Vince wants to see him and he walks off. Stacy likes what she sees.
D-Von/Batista vs. Big Valbowski/Randy Orton
Orton had been around for a few months here but was just a young kid. Batista was the deacon for Reverend D-Von and had debuted last week as well. Orton has hair here. Batista beat up Orton last week so this is the rematch Orton requested. Val (I’m not typing that whole thing) starts against Batista. He tries to take Batista’s knee out but gets run over by a HUGE clothesline.
Off to D-Von and the veterans do some basic stuff. Orton comes in to a screaming girls pop. He’s always had a sweet dropkick. D-Von gets a neckbreaker out of the corner for two. Orton gets beaten down but manages to bring in Val. Venis gets a Blue Thunder Bomb but Batista makes the save.
Orton comes in and hot shots D-Von, but Big Dave (first name unknown at this point) puts him in a fireman’s carry and rolls through it like Kenderson does. That’s a new one. Or old one in this case I guess. Everything breaks down and Orton misses his top rope cross body. The spinebuster ends this. Cole: “Batista is an animal!”
Rating: C-. This was fine and it’s amazing to see guys like this in their very young days. You never know what you might have in any given match and this is proof of it. I’m sure they knew they had something, but I don’t think anyone knew how big they’d be. Somehow, these two pale in comparison to the guy that would be in the next segment though. The match was fine.
Jericho rants to Vince about how Edge came back and stopped him from taking out Hogan for good. Vince says Jericho sounds obsessed with Edge. I’m distracted by a swimsuit shot of Stacy in a thong behind him so I have to rewind it for a bit. Vince makes Jericho vs. Edge at Vengeance, which wouldn’t happen. Instead he would face the guy that comes into the office next.
Here’s Cena who is nervous to meet Vince. Vince says that he liked Cena’s performance last week and introduces him to Jericho. Cena extends his hand politely and Jericho rips him apart, talking about how he’s the first undisputed champion and how Cena needs to show respect. He asks what kind of Ruthless Aggression Cena has so Cena slaps him to the floor.
During a break Jericho demands a match with Cena tonight.
Angle talks about beating Cena last week but he feels even better this week. He’s got a world title shot and is feeling strong. He asks Marc Lloyd if he’s seen the new highlight reel. Angle has beaten up Taker and then made Hogan tap at KOTR. Then last week he threw Taker in the ankle lock for just a few seconds. What better night than the Fourth of July for Angle to win the title right?
Billy and Chuck are gay and have hot dogs. Make the jokes yourselves.
Tag Titles: Edge/Hulk Hogan vs. Billy/Chuck
This is the big match from this show. Edge is a Hulkamaniac from when he was a kid so this is his dream match. Hulk vs. Chuck starts us off. Hogan is just crazy over here. It’s an old WWF town so that goes without saying. Chuck hammers him into the corner and it’s off to Billy. Edge comes in and hits an Edge-O-Matic for two. Chuck snaps off a pretty sweet overhead belly to belly for two and control. The fans want Hogan as Edge gets tossed over the top. Rico and Billy try to double team him but Rico kicks Billy by mistake. Edge takes Chuck down in the ring and I want you to notice something here.
Hogan has been on the apron for about four minutes and he’s barely stopped moving. It could be pacing back and forth, it could be clapping for Edge, it could be pointing something out to the referee, it could be shouting for Edge to kick out, it could be trying to get the fans to cheer. He doesn’t just stand there uninterested, and the crowd picks up on that. It’s a very important thing you can do in tag wrestling and it gets the fans to notice you. Cena is really good at this. It’s an old rule that I’ve told you time and time again: if you play to the crowd, they’ll respond to you.
Anyway there’s the hot tag to Hogan and he Hulks Up on the way in. Billy is pounded on (he must be used to muscular men doing that to him by now though) as is Chuck. We get the old school double noggin knocker and it’s a big boot to Billy. Chuck hits a superkick to break up the legdrop and Hogan brings Edge back in with a double clothesline off the top. Rico breaks up the spear so Hogan knocks him down. He crotches Rico on the apron and Edge spears Billy for two. A double big boot and a pair of legdrops to Chuck are enough to give Hogan his first tag title.
Rating: B-. I can’t help but smile at this. This wasn’t supposed to be a serious match and if you get mad about Hogan doing this you miss the point. This was about feeling good and nostalgic and giving Edge a rub. This did all of that and was actually a pretty good tag match on top of that. Hogan as basically the Andre to Edge’s Haku was perfect for him and this was really fun. They would lose the titles in less than three weeks but this was what the whole thing was about and it worked perfectly. Very fun match and moment.
Chris Jericho vs. John Cena
Dig that totally generic rock music for Cena! Cena charges in but gets beaten down quickly. He spears Jericho down and pounds away and they go to the floor. Back in the ring Cena hits a slingshot and spinebuster for two. He’s got a fire in his eyes and you can see the star in him if they mold him properly. Jericho heads to the floor and suckers Cena in to take over. He takes too much time coming off the middle rope though and jumps into a dropkick.
Powerslam gets a very close two. He counters the Walls and this a DDT for another two. A corner splash misses for the American and Jericho takes him down with the bulldog. Lionsault misses and Cena hits his second high angle spinebuster for two. However Jericho is too good for him as he backflips out of a belly to back and hits a Flashback (sleeper drop) and pins Cena with his feet on the ropes.
Rating: B. Very fun match here which at the time was shocking. Remember that this is Cena’s second match on TV and he’s taken Jericho and Angle to the limit. They would fight again at Vengeance and Jericho would actually get beaten fairly clean. As a little trivia, to the best of my knowledge, this is the only time that Jericho has ever beaten Cena one on one on TV or PPV. Think about that for a minute. They’ve fought so many times and Jericho only won the first one.
Jericho offers a handshake post match and tries to beat him up but Cena hits the Protobomb and stands tall.
Rey Mysterio is coming.
Here’s a clip from Raw where the NWO and Shawn Michaels said that HHH would be joining the NWO.
We go back to Divas Undressed on Saturday where Torrie won the Golden Thong Award. Stacy says it was because Torrie sleeps with Maven, who was a judge. Torrie said Stacy was sleeping with Vince. Naturally we’re having a bra and panties match to settle things.
Earlier today, Jamie Noble and Nidia celebrate their new found fortune by getting a new truck and a new trailer because Noble’s aunt died. Oh and he has money now that he’s Cruiserweight Champion. Running water almost makes Nidia cry. They break in the bed.
Stacy Keibler vs. Torrie Wilson
Bra and panties remember. What do you want me to say here? They try to do some moves, most of them don’t work, they strip each other, they’re both hot, Torrie wins. She strips too.
We get a recap of the ladder match from Monday with Jeff vs. Taker, which I need to get to someday. Hardy got destroyed over and over again but he kept getting up after the match. Taker hit a Last Ride and Hardy got up again, saying he was still standing. Taker raised his hand and stopped hurting him.
Taker says he’s upset at Vince because Vince said Taker faces Rock at Vengeance whether Taker is still champion or not.
WWE World Title: The Undertaker vs. Kurt Angle
Taker runs over him with power to start and Angle bails to the outside. I think these are both tweeners at this point. Angle keeps trying to run Taker down and it doesn’t work at all. Finally he wakes up and takes it to the mat. Angle celebrates an armdrag and gets kicked to the floor for his troubles. Snake Eyes/big boot combo get two. Angle counters the chokeslam into a German to shift control again.
It turns into a fist fight in the corner with Taker gaining control. Shoulder block puts Kurt down as does a DDT for two. Here comes the Tombstone but Angle slides down and hooks the ankle lock and Taker is in trouble. That gets reversed but an Angle Slam (which looked like it was in slow motion) gets two. Ankle lock on again and Taker’s escape gets a big pop. Chokeslam puts Kurt down but the ankle injury keeps him from immediately covering.
Here’s the almost famous ending. Taker loads up the Last Ride but Angle wraps his legs around Taker’s neck in a triangle choke. Taker bends down into kind of a rollup. The three count hits at the same time that Taker taps (although if you watch very carefully, Taker starts tapping before the three hits. It’s less than half a second though so it’s fair). There’s no winner so there would be a triple threat at Vengeance.
Rating: B-. Pretty good match here between two guys that could do big matches like these with ease. Tazz’s eventual line summarizing this was perfect: The Undisputed Title is disputed. If I remember right this was something that happened in a UFC main event and was one of the first signs of WWE paying attention to them. I remember reading that somewhere so it may not be accurate. Anyway, good match.
Overall Rating: A-. Huge and I mean REALLY huge show tonight with all kinds of stuff happening. It’s fascinating to look at these guys at this point and imaging what they would become. Orton is probably the least likely as he had nothing going for him at all. He would injure his shoulder and become a cocky heel and that was all he needed. Anyway, great show and really interesting stuff.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:
Smackdown
Date: July 3, 2012
Location: American Bank Center, Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Booker T, Josh Matthews, Michael Cole
It’s another live show here and in this case it’s the Great American Bash. The main event tonight is a 20 man battle royal with the winner getting to be GM next week on Friday. That’s up in the air and only offers a few interesting options, which means one of them is likely going to win. These shows are very hit and miss so hopefully this is the former of the two. Let’s get to it.
We open in the back with a big party. There are girls in small outfits, Hornswoggle in the tub and Teddy in a Kiss the GM apron. Eve is going to be the cleaning lady tonight. Santino is brought forward to light the barbecue to officially start things off. Teddy and Santino back off from lighting it as Kane is here. He lights the fire for them in a cute bit.
Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is having guests that are going to keep me from seeing Dark Knight Rises for another week.
Cole says he’s going to get inside AJ’s head tonight.
Here’s Del Rio to open the show. He’s going to talk about himself, namely his match at MITB with Sheamus. Sheamus is going to be sent back to Ireland because he’s just like all these people: a hooligan trying to take advantage of people like Del Rio. Alberto came here legally and is making money both here and in Mexico, unlike everyone here. He wants to send everyone here to the place where they belong, so he asks to see some people’s papers. One guy doesn’t have them so Alberto asks for security to take him out. The guy says this is Texas, not Arizona.
Cue Sheamus for the save and they brawl in the aisle. The champ throws Del Rio off the stage and into the barricade a few times. Ricardo keeps trying to help and eventually it allows Del Rio to kick Sheamus in the head. Ricardo opens the hood and Del Rio slams it down onto Sheamus’ back over and over.
Post break we look at most of the attack all over again. Sheamus is taken out and has some blood coming down his head.
Great Khali/Layla vs. Aksana/Antonio Cesaro
This is punishment from Teddy because he’s a sore loser. The guys start and it’s time for a chop in the corner to Cesaro. Khali misses a big boot and Antonio takes him down in the corner. Khali throws him aruond some more and it’s off to the girls. Layla isn’t exactly Trish or Lita but she’s by far the better in ring worker of the two here. Cesaro breaks up a cover and is thrown to the floor. Layout gets the pin at 1:45, and that means Layla pinned Aksana in case you can’t figure out that LAYla uses the LAYout and you can’t check the results below if you’re not sure.
Cody brags about having another qualifying match later tonight but Teddy informs him that it’s against Christian. Cody isn’t happy.
Raw Moment: Foley wins the title. They spend about as much time talking about WCW spoiling it and 600,000 people changing the channel than about the title change itself.
Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Cody Rhodes vs. Christian
Non-title. The idea is that Cody has never beaten Christian so he’s in over his head here. Cody sends him to the apron and hits a Disaster Kick for two. Rhodes looks at the case a lot and we take a break. Back with Cody holding a hammerlock before hitting a release gordbuster for two. Christian comes back with a middle rope missile dropkick and gets fired up.
He slingshots to the floor and uppercuts Cody followed by a running seated dropkick. Top rope cross body gets two for the champ. Cody’s Alabama Slam is countered into a sunset flip for two. He goes to unhook the buckle but Christian grabs him with a reverse DDT for two. The spear is countered but Cody misses the Disaster Kick. Killswitch is countered into the Cross Rhodes for the completely clean pin at 9:12.
Rating: C+. Well that was kind of anti-climactic. Naturally there was NO ONE that Cody could beat other than Christian to qualify right? I mean, there was no one else that could job out there other than a champion. The match was good but it makes the title look weak again which they had been changing for awhile.
Backstage Ryder starts a dance party after Slater is run off. Brodus takes center stage.
Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Dolph Ziggler vs. Alex Riley
Riley immediately hits a great dropkick for a fast two. Ziggler DDTs him down for a fast two and takes over. Riley makes a fast comeback with a clothesline in the corner and a spinebuster for two. The crowd continues to be into Riley which is interesting. Inverted DDT is countered but Ziggler’s Stinger Splash misses, giving Riley a rollup for a close two. Zig Zag gets the pin at 2:28.
Cole is in the ring to interview AJ. That theme song of hers’ is catchy. Cole says he’s fair and balanced, unlike AJ who is clearly unbalanced. We get a long video recapping everything AJ did last night. Cole cuts her off and says AJ wasn’t thinking. He calls her a teenager (she’s 25) and asks if she’s ever thought about pursuing a real man. One with power and influence and a former war correspondent who became the voice of the WWE.
Cue Bryan before this gets too weird. He calls Cole a sexist and says AJ didn’t mean for him to go through a table last night. It was all a misunderstanding. Cue Punk who angrily throws Cole out. He says AJ did something last night that directly affected both Bryan and himself last night. Punk isn’t going to pretend it didn’t happen just because AJ is guest referee. She’s not in a good place mentally and maybe some of that is Punk’s fault. Punk says AJ needs professional help but Bryan cuts him off.
Bryan says that Punk is trying to be tricky because AJ is the guest referee. The only thing Punk cares about is having AJ as guest referee because he needs her to retain the title. AJ kisses Bryan for awhile and Punk shakes his head and leaves. She goes after him and kisses him too. Bryan looks stunned and Punk looks confused. AJ skips off and does a YES chant on the stage.
Santino Marella/Sgt. Slaughter/Jim Duggan vs. Hunico/Camacho/Drew McIntyre
Camacho and Slaughter start things off and it’s quickly off to Santino. He gets in trouble in the evil dirty foreign corner and Drew pounds away a bit. A slam is countered and it’s hot tag to Duggan. There’s the Three Point Clothesline but everything breaks down. The ring is mostly cleared and the Cobra gets the pin on Hunico at 2:25.
Back to the party where Little Jimmy is jumping up and down. Sandow comes in and unplugs the cord. He says this isn’t what our founding fathers fought for. Ryder gets in his face but Sandow has a speech ready. A fight breaks out with the people chanting Ryder. Zach gets the punch bowl but it goes onto Eve. Everyone laughs at her and it’s time to keep dancing.
Hawkins and Reks both think they can beat Ryback but Hawkins won the coin toss and gets to face him.
Ryback vs. Curt Hawkins
Hawkins tries a sleeper but gets caught in the Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder. Ryback slams his head into the mat and hits an overhead choke suplex. Hawkins gets his head taken off by a clothesline and the Shell Shock gets the pin at 1:08.
Sheamus is out of the battle royal tonight.
Raw Moment: Vince Appreciation Night. Donald Trump made it rain money.
Here’s Teddy to thank the fans for letting him be the GM this week.
Battle Royal
Alberto Del Rio, Kane, Jack Swagger, John Cena, Heath Slater, Daniel Bryan, CM Punk, Big Show, Great Khali, Brodus Clay, Damien Sandow, Tensai, Ezekiel Jackson, Justin Gabriel, Dolph Ziggler, Kofi Kingston, Zach Ryder, Santino Marella, Cody Rhodes, Christian
Only the big names get entrances as per usual. At the moment I’m probably missing some names but i’ll fill them in as we go. Show throws out Justin and Brodus quickly. A bunch of people team up to throw out Khali. I’m missing one guy but I’m not sure if Sheamus was replaced or now. Ryder knocks out Sandow and Cody throws out Santino. Oh Christian is #20. Show shoves out Kofi and Cody as we take a break.
Back with ten guys to go as Bryan and Punk slug it out. Bryan stands in front of the ropes and Punk charges at him, eliminating both guys. Ok so we have Kane, Ziggler, Cena, Christian, Del Rio, Tensai, Ryder and Big Show to go. Big Show chokeslams Cena but Kane chokeslams Big Show. Tensai goes after Kane and pounds him into the corner. Cena erupts and beats up everyone before tossing Del Rio. Kane takes an AA but Tensai slows Cena down.
Christian and Ryder work on Big Show but that gets them nowhere. Cena dumps Tensai but Show dumps Cena immediately thereafter. So it’s Big Show, Ryder, Christian, Ziggler and Kane. Show spears Ryder down and easily tosses out Christian to get us down to four. Ziggler puts Show in the sleeper but Kane kicks Show in the head to put them both out.
It’s Ryder vs. Kane now which isn’t the pairing I was expecting. Kane pounds him down but runs into the corner knees and the Broski Boot. Ryder tries the Rough Ryder because he’s not that bright, but he escapes the chokeslams and low bridges Kane for the elimination and the win at 10:50.
Rating: C+. Why not? Seriously, why not? You can’t say this was predictable and it was pretty fun at the same time. Ryder has nothing to do and it’s good to give him a featured spot on next week’s show. This is probably Ryder’s second biggest win ever and maybe it’ll be the start of a new push for him. Nothing special here but I had a good time with it.
Overall Rating: C+. This is one of those shows that’s more based around fun than quality. That’s ok but I’d kind of like to see something that actually matters on Smackdown once in awhile. This felt like any other episode and the live aspect didn’t really change anything other than the day it was airing on. As for the American aspect of it, there was almost nothing here other than some standard comedy bits and Duggan/Slaughter’s required appearances. Nothing to see here but it was nothing particularly bad so we’ll go with a little above average.
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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 2, 2012
Location: Laredo Energy Arena, Laredo, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
We’re in the second half of the year now with Raw again. We have four MITB contestants so far and there’s a rumor of a fifth showing up. I believe it’ll be a former champion but it’s hard to say given how this company keeps its stipulations straight. Lesnar is supposed to be here tonight too so we’ll get more of him vs. HHH. This is one of those shows that is going to be used to build towards the PPV. Let’s get to it.
After more technical difficulties, here’s Cena to open things up. He talks about how last week was his crash course in MITB because you never know when someone is going to come and break things up. He’ll win the case and the title and all the stuff you would expect him to say. Cue Bryan chanting YES. Cena: “See? Even Bryan agrees with me.” Bryan says he’ll win the title at MITB so Cena won’t be the next champion.
Cue Punk who says he disagrees with Bryan’s claim that he’ll win. He asks people if they disagree with Bryan, getting a lot of YES chants. For some reason only Cena has had theme music so far. Punk says that Bryan’s ex-girlfriend will be counting the shoulders down, and then it’s Punk vs. Cena all over again. Cue Jericho (with music) who says he’s tired of people stealing his catchphrases. Bryan cuts him off and is told to shut up as only Jericho can say it.
Jericho welcomes us to Raw Is Jericho and says that after tonight no one will evvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvver be the same again. He says he’ll win MITB and dares anyone to come out and say otherwise, and of course he’s Kane. Kane says otherwise in something that made me chuckle. Cue Big Show and it’s a big brawl. Kane beats on Jericho and Cena goes after Big Show while Bryan and Punk are both going to the floor. Kane goes after Big Show but Show knocks everyone down.
David Otunga/Cody Rhodes/Prime Time Players vs. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth/Christian/Santino Marella
Christiana nd Young start things off and a middle rope missile dropkick gets two for the Canadian. Off to Truth for his first action in months after a broken foot. Young tries a right hand but gets gyrated at instead. Off to Kofi who hits a middle rope shoulder for two. Boom Drop is broken up by Titus who pulls Darren to the floor. Kofi dives onto Titus but gets clotheslined down by Young as everything breaks down.
We take a break and come back with Cody holding Kofi in a surfboard. AW is mic’d up now for some reason. Titus comes in and slams Kofi for two. Kofi gets in a shot and it’s off to Santino vs. Otunga. Santino hits that quick suplex and a Stunner for two. Everything breaks down again and the Prime Time Players walk off. Santino hits his usual and Cody walks out on Otunga. Cue Brodus Clay of all people as Santino loads up the Cobra. Otunga keeps trying to run but gets thrown into the Cobra for the pin at 6:24. Too short to rate given what we saw but this was organized chaos at its best.
Otunga takes a bunch of finishers post match and we get a big dance party.
Teddy (in charge tonight) is dancing in the back when Alberto and Ricardo come in. Alberto earned his one on one title match and he wants it by Jorge. The Board has said that Alberto gets his title match at MITB but tonight, Alberto has a surprise opponent.
Stephanie talks about her dad getting ready for the 99 Rumble. It was basically a Rocky parody mixed with a way to show off that Vince was in great shape.
Alberto Del Rio vs. ???
Cole talks about how the car was driven here from Alberto’s home near Mexico City. That makes me wonder: how does he get these cars everywhere? Does he have a big fleet of people driving/transporting them all over the country? If so….that’s kind of awesome. The fans GO OFF on Alberto with some Spanish swearing. Here’s the opponent.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Sin Cara
Think Cara is popular in south Texas? Cole calls Mexican wrestlers lucha libres. Mike Tenay he is not. Del Rio jumps Cara as he comes into the ring and goes insane on him. The bell hasn’t rung yet. Del Rio destroys Cara on the floor and puts him in the armbreaker so Cara taps. There was no match.
Bryan is in the back and steals a flower from a random bouquet. He comes up to AJ and apologizes, even though AJ has Punk X’s on his hands. She says that’s sweet and of course has nothing to do with the title match at the PPV. Tonight she’s going to win and run into the arms of her soul mate. She destroys the flower and leaves.
Heyman is live via satellite instead of Lesnar being here.
There’s a 20 man battle royal tomorrow on Smackdown. The winner is next week’s GM of Smackdown. Ok then.
After a recap of the Heyman/HHH challenge to Lesnar, we’re told by Heyman that Brock will deliver his answer to HHH in person at the 1000th Raw. Lesnar wants to face HHH at Summerslam but not for the reasons people thing. HHH will do it because he needs money for the lawsuit. Also, it’s his exit strategy for his career, because after this HHH will never be able to wrestle again. After Summerslam, he can be the executive that everyone says went down in a blaze of glory.
Kane vs. Big Show later on in a No DQ match. Heaven help me.
Vickie Guerrero/Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus/AJ
This looks odd on paper but when you think about it all of the connections are there. The guys start us off after Sheamus puts AJ on the apron. Dolph dropkicks him down but gets launched into the air soon thereafter. A running ax handle gets two for the champ but Dolph takes him down into a chinlock. Sheamus breaks that up and hits White Noise. He loads up the Brogue Kick but Dolph tags Vickie before it can hit. Sheamus kicks his head off to send him to the floor and AJ comes in. Shining Wizard kills Vickie at 3:27.
Rating: C-. This was VERY short but DANG that Shining Wizard was awesome. AJ continues to be insane but it looks like we’re heading up to the payoff at MITB which is the right play. This was barely long enough to grade and I’m not sure what the point was in basically destroying Ziggler like that. Still though, that Shining Wizard was awesome.
AJ does the YES chant and heads to the back. She finds Punk who is on the phone with his sister. He missed the match and AJ is crushed.
We get a video of Slater’s destruction at the hands of old people, leading to this.
Heath Slater vs. Doink The Clown
This is basically a squash with Slater hitting his spinning sleeper mat slam (didn’t that have a name?) for the pin at 1:20.
Post match, here’s DDP to a BIG reaction and a Diamond Cutter.
Video on John Cena and Alicia Fox visiting sick/injured troops.
Kane vs. Big Show
This is No DQ. Show controls to start and sends Kane to the floor. He pulls Kane up from the floor BY HIS HEAD, onlyt o knocks Kane back to the floor again. Show misses a charge into the barricade but he throws Kane into the steps to take over. They fight over a chokeslam onto the announce table but Show superkicks him down instead. Show brings a chair in but walks into a DDT for two. The top rope clothesline misses but Kane grabs the chair. Show spears him down and chokeslams Kane onto the chair for the pin at 3:44.
Rating: D+. This was probably the best possible idea for them: keep things short. This wasn’t horrible but I’m not sure what the point of the stipulation was. It came out of nowhere, but to be fair it probably made the match as watchable as it was. These two have never had good chemistry together so keeping it short was probably their best option.
Teddy runs into Eve in the back and she sucks up to him. Teddy gives her a nametag in a funny bit. She rips it up and runs into AJ, telling her to leave the mind games to the big girls and telling AJ to go sit in the corner and cry. AJ wants to know who Eve is going to brown nose next. Eve will do anything to get attention, so AJ says she’ll show everyone how to do just that.
DX invading WCW was a big deal as well. This one actually was.
Tyson Kidd vs. Tensai
Tensai takes him into the corner and fires off the headbutts but misses a charge. Kidd rolls him up……AND GETS THE PIN AT 20 SECONDS???? WOW.
Tensai beats up Sakamoto post match.
Jericho and Bryan debate jackets and a catchphrase duel breaks out. YES vs. EVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVER is hilarious.
Punk tells Cena to follow his lead out there.
Tensai destroys Kidd in the locker room.
Chris Jericho/Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk/John Cena
Punk and Bryan start things off. They speed things up of course and Punk takes control. He sends Bryan into the corner and it’s a double tag. Cena dominates Jericho as he is known to do, knocking him off the apron as we take a break. Back with Jericho getting two on Cena and taunting him for not being able to tag Punk. The Lionsault misses but Bryan breaks up the tag again.
The corner dropkick gets two for Bryan and it’s off to Jericho again. The dueling chants begin but Jericho blocks the fisherman’s suplex. The AA is countered into a DDT but Cena fires Jericho into the corner to put both guys down. There’s the diving tag to Punk, who comes in with a springboard clothesline to take over on the fresh Bryan. Powerslam gets two and Bryan gets put in the Vice. Jericho FINALLY makes a save but Cena fights him up the aisle and into the back.
Punk and Bryan are the legal guys left, as well as the only two still in the ring. Bryan moonsaults out of the corner but gets caught in a sunset flip for two. Bryan starts firing off the kicks and a big one to the head gets two. Bryan goes up but gets superplexed down for another two. And here’s AJ to skip around the ring. No one looks at her so she gets on the apron as Bryan fires off kicks to Punk.
No one looks at her still so she gets down as the guys hit cross bodies at the same time. AJ goes under the ring and pulls out….a table? She sets it up at ringside and very slowly climbs the steps. AJ goes up top but Bryan gets in front of the table. Punk gets up on the ropes to stop her as well, so she kisses him. Then she shoves him through Bryan through the table and starts a YES chant. The match ends at we’ll say 17:30.
Rating: B. The match was great and while the ending was confusing, it’s certainly intriguing. This certainly keeps things interesting as she still hasn’t picked anyone. She’s the most interesting character in the company right now by far, because in short you don’t know what she (AJ for you idiots out there) is going to do next. Good ending to a good match.
Overall Rating: C. The first hour was similar to having a blind monk with Parkinson’s Disease brand me with an iron while Chinese torture masters ripped out my fingernails. The second hour was better, to the point where I was really getting into things before the show ended. Kidd pulling off that upset was the perfect move as it gives him even more momentum going into the PPV. In short, very good second hour, pretty bad first hour.
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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 3, 2003
Location: MCI Center, Washington D.C.
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
We’re three weeks away from No Way Out and most of the card is pretty clear on the Raw side. The main event will be determined tonight as we have Jericho vs. Steiner for a shot at HHH’s title. Yeah I don’t know who’s going to win either. Other than that we have the official start of something pretty famous tonight which we’ll get to soon enough. Let’s get to it.
Also on a personal note, this was my 15th birthday.
We open with Bischoff on the phone with Chief Morely and talking about signing Austin back to Raw. This is in Spanish due to WWE screwing things up. Morely can’t hear him at the arena. Bischoff is in San Antonio, Texas to find Austin.
Theme song.
We’re in English so King and JR can intro the show.
Here are Stacy Keibler and Test to open things up with Stacy returning after being hit in the face by a Jericho chair shot two weeks ago. Stacy says she’s trying to put the incident behind her because she needed to be more careful. However, she does want Jericho to apologize so Test calls Chris out to do so. Jericho comes out and says he has more important things to worry about, like going to Wrestlemania as the world champion.
He’s gotten over hitting Stacy in the face and suggests that Test be a big boy and get over it. Test says Jericho has five seconds to apologize and gets ready to go after him, but Christian jumps Test from behind, knocking Stacy down in the process. Test gets up and beats Christian down….and is booed for hugging Stacy. Yeah he’s a jerk but he did the exactly right thing here. Why boo him?
Kane goes into Chief Morely’s office and finds….RVD? Apparently Morely asked both of them to be here and Van Dam plans on asking for a rematch with Batista/HHH. First though, he wants to know why Kane bailed last week. It was because the mask was taken off but that’s not good enough for Rob. “What are you, Spider-Man?” They’re about to brawl when Morely arrives and makes a one on one match between the two of them later tonight.
Test sends Stacy back to the hotel and promises that this isn’t over yet.
Dudley Boyz vs. 3 Minute Warning
Chief Morely (in charge tonight if that wasn’t clear) assigns Rico as guest referee tonight. It’s a big brawl to start with the Samoans taking over but the 400lb Rosey misses a split legged moonsault. Jamal gets caught in a Doomsday Device but Rico counts very slowly. The Dudleys load up a 3D on Rosey but Jamal rolls up Bubba for a fast counted pin.
Spike Dudley comes out and sets up a table, allowing Bubba to powerbomb Rico through the wood.
Bischoff is lost in San Antonio. That’s better than being Lost in Cleveland.
Tommy Dreamer vs. ???
No opponent as HHH, Batista, Orton and Flair hit the ring instead of presumably Hennigan or Cappotelli. HHH has a bad leg due to the Steiner attack last week so Orton and Batista take Dreamer down with ease. After a horrible beating to Dreamer, HHH says this is the greatest evolution of talent you’ll ever see. Flair is the greatest of all time, HHH is the greatest today, and Orton and Batista will be the greatest one day. HHH says that he’s everything Ric Flair is (more like Harley Race) and every woman wants to be with him. On top of that you take his mind and you have the best in the world.
HHH says he’s the only diamond in this business but you have to look to the future. That brings him to Batista who is a monster of unbridled destruction. Then you have Randy Orton who has the business in his blood. HHH says Orton will be a diamond one day which is a nice metaphor. He also drops the name Evolution about five times as the official new name of the team, starting a path of destruction for the next year and a half.
Scott Steiner looks at some footage of the then unnamed Evolution attacking Steiner and then being beaten down again last week. As for tonight, he’s taking care of business with his biceps.
Evolution is in a sky box.
Bischoff goes to Austin’s house but is told Austin is at a bar by a man named Buford.
Clip from last week of Jazz returning and destroying Trish.
Victoria vs. Molly Holly
Non-title. There’s a large clock in the corner counting down to Bischoff’s time to fix Raw being up. Molly takes it to the mat for a quick one count before cranking on the arm a bit. Molly spins out of a snapmare before armdragging Victoria down a few times. A spinning side slam gets two on Molly before Victoria spins her down to the mat by the hair. Victoria gets two off a suplex before avoiding the handspring elbow in the corner. Widow’s Peak is enough to pin Molly in a quick match.
Post match Jazz comes out and hits the Jazz Stinger on Molly. Jazz shoves Victoria down as well before laying out Molly with a DDT.
Booker is fired up for his tag title shot but Goldust wants a deal first. If they win, great but if not then they split up.
Evolution has champagne.
Raw Tag Titles: William Regal/Lance Storm vs. Booker T/Goldust
Storm and Goldie start things off with Goldust cranking on the arm. A quick uppercut drops Storm and it’s off to the very popular Booker T for some chops to the chest. Lance comes back with a leg trip before it’s off to Regal who is taken down by Booker. Back to Goldust as the match is still slow paced. Regal comes back in and charges into an armdrag from Goldust.
Regal does some cheating via a knee to the back (he is a villain after all) and the champions take over. Willy comes in for a chinlock before it’s back to Storm for a cravate. Back up and a Boss Man Slam puts Storm down but Regal pulls Booker off the apron to block the hot tag. Everything breaks down and a powerslam gets two on Storm. The challengers are sent into each other and a quick dropkick from Storm is good for the pin on Goldie.
Rating: C-. This was tag team 101 but not a very good example of it. Booker and Goldust were a solid act for a long time and I don’t get the point of splitting them up when the division is such a wasteland at this point. Storm and Regal were solid in the ring but they weren’t the most charismatic team in the world.
Booker says they have nothing to be ashamed of and it’s not Goldust’s fault. He’s enjoyed their time together and they hug it out.
Bischoff goes to the saloon and tries to order a martini. This goes about as well as you would expect and Austin is in another bar elsewhere.
Kane vs. Rob Van Dam
Kane punches him during the finger point which is an idea more people should have used over the years. Van Dam comes back with some kicks and we have a standoff. Rob tries a monkey flip but gets caught in a powerslam for two. Kane can’t gorilla press him and Van Dam goes after the leg like almost everyone else does. Kane is kicked to the floor and taken down by a dive from Rob to fire up the crowd.
Van Dam is sent into the post and a side slam gets two back inside. A kick to the chest sets up Rolling Thunder for two but a big boot puts Rob down. The top rope clothesline connects and Van Dam is down with a hurt neck. He’s channeling his inner Bret Hart by goldbricking though….but here’s Jeff Hardy for the DQ. Huh?
Rating: D+. The match was ok but the amusing part was hearing King and JR talk about Kane being such a bad partner. You could swap the name RVD for Daniel Bryan and this commentary could be used ten years later. This wasn’t much to see but with just over four minutes to work with and a run-in ending what else could they do?
Jeff takes a chokeslam and the Five Star for good measure.
Booker is trying to find Goldust but he’s gone to his hotel.
Post break and Jeff is still down in the ring. Cue Shawn Michaels who was going to talk to Chris Jericho but this will have to do. Jeff is mad at the world right now and Shawn has been there before. Shawn sees wasted potential for Jeff and now it’s time for a decision. Shawn talks about throwing Marty through the glass 15 years ago (more like eleven or so at this point), and even though no one liked the decision at the time, it made him who he is today. Jeff gets annoyed so Shawn superkicks him. There’s something great about just kicking a guy in the face when he gets on your nerves. Shawn shines his shoe afterwards.
Sean O’Haire talks about democracy. This devil’s advocate character still makes me salivate, but we got Rikishi vs. Roddy Piper out of it so it’s all good right?
Maven vs. D’Lo Brown
They trade hiptoss attempts until Maven armdrags him down. We hit the mat with Maven holding a headlock as the fans are bored already. Brown comes back with a kneelift and sends Maven into the buckle as the booing continues. Maven hits what looked to be a spin kick and a backslide for two and a middle rope bulldog gets the same. Maven misses a missile dropkick and the Sky High powerbomb is good for the pin.
Rating: D-. This match exists. Next.
D’Lo’s manager Theodore Long teaches us about black power post match.
Bischoff arrives at the other bar (thankfully there were already cameras waiting for him) and after the break still doesn’t find Austin. Some guy makes fun of Bischoff and has beer poured on his head.
Evolution comes up to Goldust in the back and throws him into an electrical grid which shoots sparks everywhere. Great, it’s this angle.
Goldust is taken away by EMTs during the break.
Scott Steiner vs. Chris Jericho
The winner gets the world title shot at No Way Out. Steiner shoves him down to start but Jericho rolls him up and poses. Scott takes over and pounds away in the corner before hitting a gorilla press drop. There’s the elbow drop into the push-ups but Jericho grabs the referee to block a belly to belly suplex. A knee to the back sends Steiner to the floor so Jericho can send him into the steps. Steiner: “OW!” They head back inside for a surfboard submission from the Canadian.
Back in and Steiner hits something resembling a belly to belly suplex followed by a backdrop to take over. There’s the belly to belly but Jericho counters a powerbomb into a failed Walls attempt. Now the powerbomb hits for two but Steiner charges into a boot in the corner for two by Chris. Jericho hooks the Walls but Steiner quickly makes the rope for the break. Chris snaps Scott’s neck across the top rope but gets crotched on the top rope, setting up an Angle Slam off the top to send Steiner to the PPV.
Rating: D. Jericho was trying but Steiner was just horrible out there. Thankfully they kept this at about seven minutes instead of having it run 20:00 like the Rumble disaster became. Also did anyone believe Jericho had a chance here? Anyone? I didn’t think so, but then again we have to try to have disbelief right?
Vince comes in to see Morely and laughs about Bischoff running out of time. If Vince isn’t impressed next week, he’s fired.
Overall Rating: D-. Evolution got its name, Bischoff couldn’t find Austin, and we got the match that we knew we were going to get two weeks ago. Someone tell me what the fourth thing of note on this show was. This was two hours of nothing and a good sign of the problems this show would have for the rest of the year. The wrestling was bad, the promos were bad, the fans were baited and switched again on the Austin deal. Another horrible show this week.
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