NXT
Date: April 10, 2013
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Brad Maddox

Things have changed a bit down in NXT now as Conor O’Brian has been vanquished by Big E. Langston, leaving us without a number one contender. On top of that we’ve still got Bo Dallas feuding with the Wyatt Family and Summer Rae feuding with Paige. Also if I remember correctly tonight is Regal vs. Ohno in the culmination of along simmering feud. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Ohno vs. Regal, which is based on Regal training Ohno and Ohno wanting to have a bigger legacy than Regal. It’s the classic teacher vs. student story and it still works to this day. Both guys have attacked the other at the announcers’ desk in the past two weeks.

Percy Watson/Axl Keegan/Scott Dawson vs. Shield

That’s quite an opener. Shield clears the ring before the bell and head to the floor to keep beating up their prey. We actually get a bell as Reigns is pounding on Dawson in the ring. Ambrose and Rollins both come in to beat on for dropkicks and it’s Dean stomping away on Dawson. Scott finally slides away to bring in Keegan, who is immediately put in a surfboard by Ambrose with Rollins dropping a top rope knee onto Axl’s chest. Reigns clears out the corner and Seth hits a standing Sliced Bread for the pin on Keegan at 2:17. Complete and total squash.

Dawson gets hit with the TripleBomb post match.

Shield talks about how awesome they are when Corey Graves pops up on screen. He says he doesn’t believe in the Shield because NXT is his own personal wasteland. Next week, he want any one of them one on one. Rollins says next week Ambrose and Reigns can take the night off because he’ll fight Graves on his own.

Summer Rae says she ran away last week because she left her curling iron on and didn’t want to burn the building down. If she hadn’t run back there, it would have been Paige’s career burning down instead of the building.

Emma says she’s like Lady Gaga and stops talking. She changes it to Madonna and the interviewer isn’t sure what to think. The fans think Emma is a klutz but Emma thinks those crazy kids with their Macarena are confused. She trips as she leaves.

Bellas vs. Funkadactyls

During the entrances we get one of the problems with NXT being taped: this is described as a Wrestlemania rematch because of what happened there. This is a problem because the match that it’s a rematch of didn’t happen at Wrestlemania due to time constraints. Naomi and Brie start things off with Naomi being sent into the corner. She comes out with a standing Stinkface and the Rear View, showing off the extent of her offensive skills.

Off to Cameron for a double legdrop but Nikki breaks up the cover. The Bellas choke away on Cameron in the corner and it’s off to a chinlock by Nikki. Cameron fights up and hits a quick neckbreaker to put both girls down. The hot tag brings in Naomi but the Bellas immediately take her down. The twins both wrap up one of Naomi’s legs like they’re setting up a Sharpshooter and roll her forward into a mat slam for the pin at 3:38.

Rating: D. Once again, the main roster shows why they have no business being in NXT. The match was nothing of note and the ending was very weak with Naomi getting the hot tag and being pinned fifteen seconds later. The NXT girls are so far ahead of these models who know how to do a few moves that it’s unreal.

Kassius Ohno is in the back in a William Regal REAL MAN’S MAN shirt, making him far more awesome than he ever has been before. Ohno talks about how he’s watched everything there is to watch about Regal, but after tonight, no one is going to hear Regal’s voice again.

In two weeks it’s a Night of Champions with four title matches.

We look at Wrestlemania week.

Regal is ready for Ohno.

Next week it’s Graves vs. Rollins in a lumberjack match.

Kassius Ohno vs. William Regal

They lock up to start with Regal shoving Ohno back. Brad’s stupid joke of the week is to call Dawson Jerry every few moments. Back to the lockup until Regal takes over with an armbar. Ohno is taken to the mat by the arm as Regal cranks away even more. Now it’s a hammerlock and after a drop toehold Ohno still can’t get back up. Regal lets him back up and Ohno grabs a wristlock, only to be easily sent into the corner and stomped down by the old villain.

A forearm puts Ohno down as this has been one sided so far. Ohno finally gets in a shot to the ribs to send Regal to the floor. A baseball slide puts Regal into the barricade and we take a break. Back with Kassius getting two off something we didn’t see and firing off some HARD kicks in the corner to Regal’s head. Now it’s a full nelson to stay on the neck and upper body of Regal. William uses a nice counter to escape and stomps on Kassius’ fingers for good measure. He bends them back around the ropes as momentum changes again.

Regal stays on the arm and hand and drives some knees into Ohno’s face. Ohno comes back with a hard kick to the head to take Regal down as the ear is hurt even more. Another kick crushes Regal’s head against the post but Ohno can’t hook his cravate hold. Kassius kicks Regal again for two but he still can’t hook the Kassius Clutch. Off to a quick chinlock instead but Regal rolls out and hits a quick exploder suplex. His balance is WAY off though so he can’t hook the Regal Stretch.

A belly to back suplex puts Regal on his head again for two more and Kassius is getting frustrated. William is getting all fired up and gets to his feet, only to have his head kicked off for two. Ohno loads up the rolling elbow but Regal nails him in the ribs to set up the Knee Trembler for the pin at 14:06 shown of 17:36.

Rating: B+. This was a match based on emotion and the injury to Regal which worked very well. The story of teacher vs. student is one that always works and it did the job again here. The good thing here is that Regal didn’t look dominant at all at the end, which keeps Ohno from looking weak. Really good and physical match here with a solid story throughout.

Overall Rating: B. Another solid show here as NXT does what it does best: make any feud feel like the biggest thing going on in the promotion at the time. Regal vs. Ohno was a well built feud with a classic story and the resulting match worked out very well. What more can you really ask for than that? Good show here and more compelling TV with a match set up for next week.

Results

Shield b. Axl Keegan/Scott Dawson/Percy Watson – Standing Sliced Bread to Keegan

The Bellas b. The Funkadactyls – Rolling mat slam to Naomi

William Regal b. Kassius Ohno – Knee Trembler

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

I saw this in a column and it got me to thinking.Back in 2007, Cena injured his pectoral muscle and said he would be out at least past Wrestlemania.  Cut to MSG at the 2008 Royal Rumble.  #30 is on the way and it’s……John Cena.  The crowd LOSES IT and it’s one of the most genuine surprises in wrestling history.  This fooled marks, smarks and everyone in between.  What was the great solution to this?

Cena lied.  He had been posting on Twitter about how he was going to be gone for months and wanted to be in the Rumble…..and then he was.  Why isn’t this tactic used more often?  Why do so many stories and angles have to be based on what’s really going on?  Lie to us WWE.  You would be amazed how much stronger people will react when they’re genuinely surprised.

Since the class is inducted, I might as well wrap up my series on the classes and whether each member belongs in the Hall of Fame or not.Bruno Sammartino

Yes.  Next.

Bob Backlund

This is going to be a short post it seems.  Backlund is another guy you barely even have to bother explaining.  He was WWF Champion for six years and then came back with a completely new character to win the title again in a shocking moment.  Backlund is one of the most interesting people you’ll ever hear and is every bit as out there as he comes off on TV.  This is another layup and one of many on this list.

Mick Foley

Again, what is there to say here?  He’s a three time WWF Champion and was the second most popular wrestler in the company for a good portion of the Attitude Era.  Above all else for Foley, this is what makes you realize how great he was.  Austin, Rock and HHH’s first major feuds as WWF Champion?  All against Foley.  It was Mick Foley who was trusted with making these new top stars look like something special in the ring.  That says a lot about the trust Vince had in him and is one of his many reasons for being in the Hall of Fame.  This is another easy yes.

Trish Stratus

If there is a woman who had a bigger impact on modern women’s wrestling, I don’t know who it is.  Trish was the Divas division for a long time and made everyone she worked with look WAY better than anybody else could.  Think of the Divas of today and then think that Trish vs. Lita was the main event of an episode of Raw.  Not the last match to go on, but the match that was built up all night and closed the show.  That’s unthinkable today but it happened in 2004.  The greatest Diva of all time is another yes.

Booker T

When a guy with thirty three titles in WCW and WWE is by far the weakest candidate for the Hall of Fame, you know you have an outstanding class.  Booker was the only guy in this class that is even remotely questionable as I don’t think Hall of Fame when I think of him, but his resume is more than strong enough to go in.  He’s won everything there is to win in WWE and was even bigger in WCW, where (I believe at least) he was one of four guys to win every possible title (along with DDP, Sting and Benoit).  That’s some fine company and another reason Booker should go in.

Donald Trump

Like him or not, this guy has been a big supporter of WWE over the years.  He hosted two Wrestlemanias, appeared at #7 and #20 and was the focal point of Wrestlemania 23.  How many other celebrities come close to that kind of involvement?  I have no problem with putting Trump in the celebrity wing.  He’s certainly more appropriate than someone like William Perry.

This is the best class ever.  From top to bottom, you have nothing but legends and huge names.  When the weakest name you have is either Booker T or Trish Stratus, the lineup is clearly stacked.  Bruno was the great white whale of the Hall of Fame, as without him you can’t have any kind of credibility.  Now if they can only get Demolition and Randy Savage in there, everything will be complete.

This occurred to me during Raw and while I was watching an old Nitro.  As opposed to the new Nitros that is.Raw and Smackdown could use some random matches between guys they don’t often feature.  Look at the roster they’ve got.  With as many talented guys as they’ve got, they can’t manage to ever get them on one of the bigger shows.  I know they’re on Superstars and other such C-shows, but instead of having the same matches over and over again, let some of these guys be jobbers on the main shows.  I mean, do we need to see Cesaro fight Kofi fifteen times or Sheamus vs. Barrett so often?  Look at the six man tag from Raw.  Those were six guys you could throw on TV at any time and get a decent match out of them, so why not use them?

Smackdown
Date: April 8, 2011
Location: Times Union Center, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

We’re kind of in the new year here on Fridays as Edge is still World Champion. Tonight we’ll probably start the build to Extreme Rules. Since we’ve kind of passed go here, it’s rather hard to tell what else is going to go on. It should be interesting as things usually are on this show. Let’s get to it.

The theme song opens us up. I guess the enemy this week is wrestling as this isn’t a wrestling company anymore. The fact that Vince thinks this will get them more accepted by the mainstream is absolutely hysterical and head shaking at the same time.

Cue Alberto minus his car. Is there a reason why he doesn’t have one as he apparently has like 50 of them? He says that destiny can be delayed as it was at Wrestlemania. He blames Edge and Christian for delaying his destiny and destroying his car. It’s not about the money though, but those cars are like his children. He starts to talk about revenge but is cut off by Edge.

Edge comes out in a tow truck which is pulling the Rolls Royce. Nice bit there. He says that if this car is like his child, Del Rio needs to love it unconditionally. With a little tender loving care it can be fine again. Edge pulls out some spray paint and writes something that I think was just scribbles. Del Rio says he almost got him to tap out at Mania but Edge points out that he didn’t do it. Alberto wants a rematch and Edge says no because there are people more deserving of title shots.

The driver of the tow truck honks the horn and it’s Christian. Edge says Christian has beaten Del Rio multiple times so obviously Christian is ahead of Del Rio in line. Here’s Teddy who makes Del Rio vs. Christian for the shot at Extreme Rules. The match at the PPV will be a ladder match.

We’ll get to see Cena and Rock again tonight. By that I mean the same thing from Raw. They say highlights though which helps a bit.

There’s a rematch of the 8 man tag from Mania next that Josh says has a twist tonight that they’ll explain when we come back. Now I’m no genius, but given that the graphic of the match says “2 out of 3 falls”, I’m thinking it’s in a cage. I could be wrong though.

Corre vs. Big Show/Kane/Kofi Kingston/Santino Marella

We get a clip from the PPV of Show knocking out Slater and that looked AWESOME. Kofi’s tights are lime green tonight. It looked like there was a small edit during Kofi’s entrance but I could be wrong. The video and song seemed to jump forward a bit. Gabriel vs. Santino to start us off. Slater comes in quickly and Corre takes over. Remember that this is 2/3 falls.

Santino reverses a right hand into a throw and it’s off to Kane. Show beats on him for a bit also and we get the Andre/Snuka splash with Kofi on top of Slater for two. He sets for Trouble in Paradise but Gabriel and Barrett make the save as we go to a break. Back with Kane working over the Intercontinental Champion in the corner. Booker sounds out of breath for some reason.

Off to Jackson to face Kane. Jackson gets Kane into the corner and Corre alternates in and out very quickly to hammer away on him. Finally it’s off to Gabriel who gets a missile dropkick on Kane for two. Kane finally remembers he’s fighting a cruiserweight and launches Gabriel to the mat. Off to Kofi who cleans house and gets the first fall off a top rope cross body at 5:30 shown of 9:00. Kofi looks shocked that he actually got a pin.

We take another break and come back with Slater vs. Santino. Booker keeps going on and on about being ahead on points or something like that. Santino escapes a sleeper but is taken down by a forearm for two. Santino speeds things up and loads up the Cobra (I still can’t believe a move that Jon Lovitz taught him caught on like it did) but gets his head kicked off by Barrett. Wasteland ties us up at 7:23 shown of 14:23.

Why doesn’t Barrett just cover him again? There was no mention of a rest period or anything like that. Barrett hammers away and it’s off to Slater again. Jackson comes in and this should be a slaughter. Clothesline in the corner gets two as Big Show DIVES to make the save. Off to Gabriel and we hit the chinlock. Show starts a weak Santino chant.

Gabriel misses a cannonball kind of move and it’s off to Kane. Big side slam to Barrett gets two as does the top rope clothesline. Everything breaks down as Corre takes over. Kane sets for a chokeslam but all of Corre comes in to take him out for the DQ in the third fall at 11:10 shown of 18:10 (assuming 3:30 for commercials. I watch a preairing from Australia so it’s hard to say for sure).

Rating: B-. Nice long match here to treat this like a match that deserved to be on Wrestlemania. I like that they allowed this to play out so that Corre doesn’t look completely inept. Also, when’s the last time you remember getting a nearly 20 minute match on free TV after getting a 15 minute one on Raw? This worked rather well and was better than I expected.

The winners beat up Corre post match, including a triple (Santino helped) chokeslam to Jackson.

Sin Cara is still coming, even though he’s already been on Raw.

Cody Rhodes vs. Trent Barreta

I love Cody’s character right now. At the forums I post on someone made a great point: Cody’s reaction to this is all the more psychological because everyone can see he looks exactly the same but in his mind he’s hideous now. That’s very interesting. Cody takes him down quickly and hammers away. Trent gets a springboard dropkick to get two though so maybe this won’t be a total squash. Russian leg sweep gets two for Cody. This is the aggressive Rhodes as he sends Trent into the post shoulder first and Cross Rhodes ends this at 1:30. Ok so maybe it was a squash. Too short to rate.

Post match Cody beats on Trent some more until Rey makes the save.

We get the Rock vs. Cena confrontation from Raw again. Eats up almost 15 minutes. I get that it’s a major moment, but you could easily trim it down by at least half. There’s no real need to use 1/8 of your total show and about 1/5 of your TV time to just show a segment from the more watched show. I get that it’s huge, but they do this every week. I’m curious about Corre if nothing else.

Edge says he hopes Christian wins because he’d love to have a ladder match with Christian. Christian implies he’d win in the ladder match and says Edge can cheer for Alberto if he likes. The camera stays on Christian after Edge leaves and he looks at the belt which Edge forgot. Edge comes back and Christian says keep an eye on that, referring to the belt. No sign of tension or anything here.

Laycool vs. Kelly Kelly/Beth Phoenix

Is Natalya injured or something? I haven’t seen her in months. Apparently she’s been on Superstars. Ok then. Josh asks Cole why he’s not in his singlet tonight. Cole almost says he’s not wrestling tonight but cuts himself off to say entertaining. The level of idiocy of this continues to astound me. So remember people: this is an entertainment feature, not a match. So in other words we have girls in small outfits performing choreographed moves while coming out to hip hop/R&B music while on a platform above the guests and gyrating around with other women. Sound familiar to anyone else?

Beth vs. Michelle to start us off with Beth destroying her. Michelle is knocked into Layla so Layla is yelled at. Backbreaker gets two for Beth. Layla is tagged in as Laycool argues. After a scary press slam, Kelly is brought in and does her Tarantula kind of move to Layla. X Factor gets two. Layla reaches for a tag and McCool falls to the floor like Layla did, allowing Kelly to roll Layla up for the pin at 2:50. Far more story advancement than match and that’s fine.

Laycool argues in the aisle.

We get a clip from Raw of Cole spraying barbecue sauce on Lawler. In the arena Cole asks who shot JR. HE DID! Cole brings out Swagger who says training Cole was easy because Cole is smart and talented. Swagger declares Cole the new Mr. Wrestlemania. They take a victory lap but some music hits. It’s Sin Cara who does his trampoline jump into the ring and takes Swagger down using a variety of speed moves including a corkscrew plancha to the floor.

We get the end of the Miz/Austin clip from Raw which was good.

Layla comes up to Michelle in the back and hands her a paper. They’re going to have couples counseling. Michelle says they’re not a couple. Layla says just show up.

Decent length video recapping the Hall of Fame inductions.

Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio

Lot of time for this one. We take a break before Christian’s entrance which is a nice perk because it means there will be some more time before the first break in the match. Edge comes out to be on commentary. Edge isn’t sure who he prefers to face as Christian is good with the ladders also. Edge has been in 19 ladder matches. That’s insane.

Christian takes Del Rio down with a headlock to start us off. Both are sent to the floor at different times with Christian being the last one in the ring. Big dropkick sends Del Rio crashing onto the floor again. We take a break and come back with Christian being slammed into the steps. Del Rio takes over and chokes him on the ropes back in the ring.

Time to start on the arm now as is Del Rio’s custom. Christian fires off a bit right hand and goes up which gets him nowhere. Well he went up but it didn’t advance him in the match anywhere. Maybe I should just move on. Superplex puts both guys down and Christian plays possum to get a cradle for two. Edge is ripping into Cole here and it’s rather funny stuff.

Back to the floor again with both guys via a Cactus Clothesline from Christian. Better than up their noses with a rubber hose I guess. Christian fights back and gets an elbow off the middle rope for two. Top rope cross body gets two. Ricky Steamboat he is not. Killswitch is reversed into an attempt at the armbreaker but that is broken up also. Del Rio sends him into the corner and grabs the armbreaker but Christian gets a rope. Christian sets for something but Brodus stops him. Edge spears Brodus but the distraction allows Del Rio to hit the enziguri off the top for the pin at 10:30 shown of 14:00.

Rating: C+. Surprisingly enough this wasn’t very good. It’s not bad but I couldn’t get into this one at all. They were trying but at the same time nothing ever really got going. Del Rio winning is probably the best choice as Edge vs. Christian is a potentially big match that needs to be on a big stage. That being said I think we can pencil it in for Over the Limit. Not bad, but I wasn’t huge on this one.

Overall Rating: B. Good show this week as it was very wrestling heavy and we had multiple storylines advanced at the same time. Things seem to be staying the same after Mania but that’s ok I guess as it tends to be the custom after Mania. Good show here but then again that’s par for the course here. They’ve gotten very good at the use of squashes to advance stories which is incredibly hard to do in today’s product. Solid show overall here though.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon at:

Now that Wrestlemania is actually over, people might actually read these again.

Superstars
Date: April 7, 2011
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia, Time Warner Cable Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Scott Stanford, Josh Matthews, Jack Korpela, Matt Striker

It’s the first show after Wrestlamania so I think you know what the main topic is going to be from the commentators. Rock cost Cena the title, meaning Miz is still WWE Champion. Not that any of them is going to appear here or anything of course. As usual this is going to be a low of lower card guys having longer matches than they would otherwise. Let’s get to it.

Drew McIntyre vs. JTG

JTG takes him into the corner to start so Drew SMACKS him in the jaw. They trade more right hands with JTG taking over for a bit. Drew drapes him ribs first over the top rope and things slow down a bit. Drew cranks things up with an armbar but JTG fights up and hits a big boot for no cover. A crucifix gets two and there’s a DDT for the same on McIntyre. Drew comes back with a big boot of his own and the Future Shock DDT gets the pin.

Rating: D+. JTG tried but at the end of the day, the guy just isn’t that good. Drew continues to bore everyone in sight which has a lot to do with why his pushed stopped cold. Well that and his wife Tiffany beating him up but you get the idea. Nothing to see here as it was just a quick match to open the show with probably the biggest name we’ll see here tonight in McIntyre.

Recap of the Hall of Fame induction ceremonies. Shawn was the headliner.

Yoshi Tatsu vs. Tyson Kidd

Kidd is a heel here and takes Tatsu down with a test of strength grip before cranking on the left arm a bit. Yoshi gets back up and flips out of Tyson’s grip before firing off some kicks to the torso and a few armdrags into an armbar. Back up and Tyson pounds away on Tatsu, only to be dropkicked out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Kidd holding a cravate but getting caught in a crucifix for two.

A hard kick to Tatsu’s face gets two for Tyson and it’s back to the cravate. Back up and Yoshi fires off a spinwheel kick but both guys are down. Yoshi hits some more hard kicks for two but as he goes up top for a big old kick, Kidd pops up and takes him down with a hurricanrana for two. Yoshi avoids a springboard dive and a high kick to Kidd’s head gets the pin.

Rating: C. I wasn’t a big fan of all the kicks from both guys but that’s what you get from smaller guys in modern WWE. The match wasn’t bad for Superstars but it would take awhile before Kidd hit his stride. Yoshi was a guy who used to show so much potential and then it just stopped dead.

We see Cena challenging Rock to a match at Wrestlemania 28, a year in advance. The match worked to put it mildly. For no apparent reason, the Corre ran out to interrupt the ending. This never went anywhere at all but we do get about three minutes of Rock and Cena beating up Slater.

Santino Marella vs. Ted DiBiase

They fight for control on the mat until Santino offers a handshake. DiBiase cranks on a hammerlock for a bit before punching Santino in the face and make it a brawl as we take a break. Back with DiBiase holding a chinlock followed by a dropkick. The following clothesline gets two and Marella’s sunset flip is broken up with a right hand to the head. Back to el chinlock followed by some pounding away in the corner, only to have Santino avoid a charge. Things speed up but Santino’s headbutt hits knees. Dream Street (DiBiase’s finisher) is broken up and the Cobra gets the pin for Santino.

Rating: D. Erg DiBiase was boring here. He did nothing but basic punches and chinlock which isn’t enough to hold my interest for a five minute match. The whole being the son of the Million Dollar Man didn’t do him any favors either. This was just a quick match for the sake of saying there was a main event on this show.

Overall Rating: D+. I remember why I don’t watch this show all that often. When it’s good it can be very good for a fan who doesn’t want most of the stories, but on the other hand there are times where this show is very boring, much like it was here. Nothing on here was any good and it’s difficult to remember what the matches even were already. It would get better though.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon at:

I can’t embed this but my goodness it’s amazing.  From after Raw.

https://vine.co/v/btWLDKPHT6a

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 8, 2013
Location: IZOD Center, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the night after Wrestlemania and we have a new world champion here on Raw. Cena pinned Rock after a somewhat lackluster match, giving Cena not only his 14^th world title but his 4^th title win at Mania alone. Other than that, HHH still has a job, Undertaker has still never lost at Wrestlemania, Shield is still undefeated and Del Rio retained the title. Tonight is usually a huge show with a big surprise, so let’s get to it.

Here’s Cena to open the show. We also get a Tweet from Rock saying that he tore his abdominal muscles off the bone during his match last night. Cena says it should be everyone’s dream to win in the main event of Wrestlemania, because you get the adulation, the respect and the cheers (of which he gets very few on all counts). He says the fans have known him for ten years now and it seems they’re angry tonight. Actually Cena is upset too because Wrestlemania is over.

However, it’s the night after Wrestlemania which is when things happen. Last year he got beaten up by Lesnar but he’s still here now. Maybe he’ll do a little dance. Maybe with a kick. Maybe with a little shake. “Maybe even a little heel turn?” Anyway he says he’s the champion and this is what he wants for a Wrestlemania celebration: to defend the WWE Championship. He doesn’t care who it is….and here’s Mark Henry.

Henry gets in Cena’s face and says that he won his match too, just like the champion. The fans chant for Sexual Chocolate so Cena cracks a joke. Henry yells some more about Ryback so Cena cracks more jokes. Cena agrees to defend the title tonight against Henry but here’s Booker T. He says Rock is #1 contender to the WWE Championship (Cena: “Once in a lifetime best two out of three?”) because Rock has a guaranteed rematch. Therefore, if Henry wants a shot, he has to beat Cena in a one on one match tonight. Henry promises to put Cena in the Hall of Pain.

Alberto faces Colter/Swagger in a handicap match tonight.

Daniel Bryan vs. Big E. Langston

We get a Tweet from Shield saying that they’re going to do something historic. Langston shoves Bryan down to start and hits a hard running charge into the corner to keep control. A delayed backdrop puts Bryan down and Langston pounds away in the corner. Bryan comes back with a bunch of kicks to the chest and a hard one to the head, but an AJ distraction lets Ziggler crotch Bryan. As Kane goes after Dolph, Big E. throws Daniel over the top and onto Kane for the save. Back inside and the Big Ending gets the pin on Bryan at 2:17. Total squash.

Kurt Warner, former NFL quarterback, hosts a new reality show called The Moment on USA and is at Raw tonight.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Wade Barrett

Barrett is challenging after losing the title last night on the pre-show. Wade pounds away in the corner to start but Miz comes back with a left hand and a snap suplex for two. Off to a chinlock by the champion as the fans chant for Barrett. Wade escapes but gets caught in a quick sunset flip for two more and it’s back to the chinlock. That’s easily broken up as we now talk about the rugby player Barrett is named after. Wade comes back and sends Miz into the ropes for a neckbreaker to the apron as we take a break.

Back with Barrett getting a near fall off the Winds of Change. Miz rolls to the floor so Wade can drop an elbow off the apron for two. Off to a chinlock on the champion for a bit but Miz fights up and pounds away. A running knee and big boot put Barrett down but they botch the Reality Check (the backbreaker went fine but Wade fell down before the neckbreaker started).

The corner clothesline hits a bit better and Miz’s short DDT gets two. Wasteland is escaped and Miz puts on the Figure Four, only to have Wade make the rope. Barrett comes back with a quick elbow and goes to the middle rope (since nothing has been done to his leg at all so far right?). Miz breaks it up but gets slammed into the top turnbuckle. Barrett hits the Bull Hammer and regains the title at 13:00.

Rating: C+. The match wasn’t bad actually but the booking makes less than no sense. This puts Barrett at 1-2 in the last three weeks against Miz, but he walks out with the title anyway. Naturally there’s going to be a third match because that’s how WWE works, but this whole feud (what are they fighting over anyway?) is worthless and done for.

Vickie and Maddox are arguing in the back when Sheamus comes in. He wants Big Show tonight but Brad says Sheamus will owe them one. Sheamus glares him down so Vickie says she’ll give Sheamus a match. She doesn’t say who it’s going to be against though.

Randy Orton comes up to Booker in the back and asks for a match with Big Show tonight. Booker says Sheamus has already gotten that match tonight but Orton says Booker is a GM and a Hall of Famer. This makes Booker overrule Vickie and give Orton the match instead. Great. Now we get battling GMs. Again.

Here are Colter and Swagger with Zeb asking for the fans’ support for their handicap match up next against Del Rio. He wants the fans to chant USA when Del Rio comes out.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Zeb Colter/Jack Swagger

The heels have to tag so Swagger starts things off. The fans want Ziggler. Not much of note to start until Swagger is sent to the floor. Del Rio hits a suicide dive to send Swagger into the announce table and hits a running stomp for good measure. A top rope cross body gets two on Swagger but Zeb gets in a cheap shot, allowing Swagger to take out the world champion’s knee.

The knee is worked on even more until Del Rio fights back and tries for the enziguri in the corner. It misses by six inches but thankfully Swagger doesn’t sell it. They trade some standing switches and there’s the Patriot Lock, but Del Rio rolls out quickly. Del Rio puts the armbreaker on over the top rope until a four count but is knocked into the barricade for good measure as we take a break.

Back with Jack hitting a belly to back suplex for two and cranking on the leg some more. Jack misses a charge into the corner and hits the post, allowing Alberto to make his comeback with some clotheslines and the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. The backbreaker re-injures the champion’s knee though and both guys are down again.

A hard kick to Swagger’s head gets two but the armbreaker is countered into a belly to belly for two. Off to the Patriot Lock again but Alberto makes a rope. The hold goes on for the third time but Alberto pulls him into the armbreaker as he did last night. Jack taps at 11:06. Colter never got into the match.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t terrible but at the same time it’s the same……screw the rating because we’ve got music.

Post match Alberto has his leg looked at and HERE COMES ZIGGLER!

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler

The place goes NUTS for Ziggler as he stomps away on the leg and head of Alberto. The Fameasser hits for two but Ziggler misses a splash in the corner. The enziguri in the corner hits for a VERY close two and there’s the armbreaker. Ziggler cranks on the bad knee to break the hold and the Zig Zag gives us a new champion at 2:15.

If that’s not enough, here’s Undertaker. He talks about dedicating the match to Paul Bearer….and here’s Shield. They surround the ring and all get on the apron at the same time. Cue Kane and Bryan for the save before there’s any contact. As usual, Shield runs when the numbers are even.

In the back, Ziggler says he’s going to go show off his new title.

R-Truth/Santino Marella/Zack Ryder vs. 3MB

No entrances for any of these guys in this random tag match. Truth and Heath start things off with Slater being slammed down. Santino comes in, thrusts his pelvis, gets punched once, and bails. Off to Ryder vs. Mahal with Zack getting beaten down on the floor by a cheating McIntyre. Apparently Drew is legal now and hits a big boot to the jaw for no cover.

Off to Slater for some more beating before it’s back to McIntyre for an armbar. A neckbreaker puts Drew down and there’s the hot tag to Santino. He cleans house on Slater with his usual stuff but Mahal breaks up a near fall. Everything breaks down and the Cobra is enough to pin Slater at 3:30.

Rating: D. I have no idea what the point of this was. Were they running short or something and needed to fill in five minutes with something like this? None of the guys have anything going on right now so let’s spend a few minutes on them here to fill in a gap….I guess?

We look at the week in New York/New Jersey to promote Wrestlemania.

Orton and Sheamus argue in the back. Sheamus says he has this and Orton isn’t pleased.

Last night Big Show said he didn’t turn on his partners but rather they turned on him. He tagged himself in and yeah, he saved the team from the TripleBomb. Then later on, Orton stole the tag which should have belonged to him because Orton had to take his thunder. No one is taking Show’s thunder again. That’s not the route he wants to take anymore. The only thing important to him anymore is himself.

Here’s Sheamus to ask who wants to see him face Big Show. He calls out Vickie to make it official but here’s Orton instead. Randy gets in Sheamus’ face and says that Big Show is his tonight. He asks the fans who wants to see him beat up Big Show and the fans seem pretty split. The solution? TWITTER POLL!

Back from a break and Orton wins the poll 77-23. Before the match though, here are Booker and Vickie. Instead of Orton vs. Big Show, it’s Orton vs. Sheamus and the winner gets Big Show. So the poll happened…..why?

Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

They shove each other to start and the fans do an OLE chant. Orton hits a snapmare but Sheamus avoids a knee drop. Sheamus hits a pair of knees for his own for two and starts working on the arm. Orton comes back with another knee to the chest as the match keeps going. Randy hooks a chinlock as the fans think a four minutes old match is boring.

Now Sheamus hooks a chinlock as the announcers talk about going to London in a few weeks for Raw. Now the fans chant for Rob Van Dam. Now it’s HBK. Orton slowly stomps away as the match is completely ignored. The fans are now chanting for JBL as Sheamus gets two off the rolling fireman’s carry. Sheamus goes up top and the fans chant for Lawler. This is BIZARRE. Orton dropkicks Sheamus out of the air and now they’re chanting Cole as we take a break.

Back with the fans chanting what sounded like DDP and then ECW as Sheamus makes a comeback. The Irish Curse hits for two as the crowd is doing the Wave. JBL: “I wish Michael would drown in it.” Sheamus hits his knee to the ribs and the ten forearms in the ropes as the fans suddenly start cheering along. A suplex brings Orton back in as Sheamus is smiling. Orton’s backbreaker puts Sheamus as we get a Randy Savage chant. Even the announcers are giving up at this point.

The powerslam and t-bone suplex put Sheamus down as the HBK chant starts again. There’s the Elevated DDT and Orton loads up the RKO, only to be shoved off into White Noise. I think the fans are booing Sheamus but how can you tell in this match? The Brogue Kick misses and here comes Big Show as I think everyone knew was about to happen. He throws Sheamus into the post, presumably ending the match at 15:10. Fans: “Thank you Big Show.”

Rating: N/A. I have almost no idea what happened in this match but the crowd stole the show here. The thing I don’t get is that while the match was slow paced, it wasn’t THAT bad. This is a case where the fans just did not care what was going on and found ways to entertain themselves. I’ve never seen anything like this but it was awesome in a way. For an actual grade, we’ll go roughly C- or so.

Post match Show KO’s Orton and hits a BIG spear on the floor. The fans chant FIRE RANDY as Orton is launched into the announce table. Show picks up the announcers’ chairs and tries to throw them into the ring but only hits the ropes both times. Fans: “ONE MORE TIME!” Show walks away instead.

We recap Shield invading Undertaker’s speech earlier.

Fandango vs. Kofi Kingston

The fans are still hot and it seems to be for Fandango. Fandango dances around Kofi before Kingston sends him into the corner. The fans are HUMMING FANDANGO’S THEME MUSIC. Not that it matters as Jericho runs in for the DQ at 1:30.

Post match Jericho destroys Fandango by whipping into whatever he can find. They head inside and there are the Walls of Jericho for good measure. Referees finally come out to break it up. A Codebreaker leaves Fandango laying. The referee declares Fandango the winner and from his back in agony, Fandango corrects his pronunciation. The crowd basically starts a dance party to Fandango’s music.

Video on Cena’s media appearances today.

We look at HHH getting his arm looked at. He’s fine apparently.

Here’s Heyman (crowd ERUPTS) in the back with something to say. His guys lost last night but it took HHH 23 minutes to beat Lesnar. Shawn and HHH aren’t here because of the beatings they took last night at Lesnar’s hands. Paul says Lesnar is ready for a fight TONIGHT. That isn’t happening though, because Brock doesn’t fight for free. Instead, Heyman wants to talk about Punk who is going to tell the fans how he feels…..next week.

Rhodes Scholars/Bellas vs. Funkadactyls/Tons of Funk

This was scheduled for last night but got bumped for time reasons. We’re joined in progress after a break with Naomi hitting the Rear View on one of the Bellas. Off to Cody but Naomi hits a rana on him anyway. Tensai comes in and launches Cody into the corner before hitting a RUNNING FLIP DIVE into the corner. Cody hits a Disaster Kick to send Tensai into 619 position.

The Bellas smack their hips onto Tensai’s head and the Wind-Up Elbow gets a BIG reaction. The hot tag brings in Brodus for his usual stuff and a kind of slide into a cover gets two. Everything breaks down and Sandow is crushed between the big men. A double splash ends Damien at 2:28.

We look at The Moment again.

John Cena vs. Mark Henry

Non-title here and if Henry wins, he gets a title shot at some point in the future. Cena ducks under Henry and dances a bit. He pounds on Henry but gets run over by a single shot from Mark. The fans are behind Henry of course. Mark pounds on Cena in the corner but misses a splash, allowing Cena to pound away. Henry rolls to the floor as we hear about Rock tearing his abdominal muscle off his pelvis bone in addition to having a hernia.

They go back to the announce table so here’s a chant for the table. Henry loads up the announce table but Cena escapes the World’s Strongest Slam. Mark rams him back first into the post but Cena sends him into the steps and slides back inside for the countout win at 3:29. Seriously that’s it.

Rating: D+. Again what can you expect here? They didn’t have the time to do much here but what we got wasn’t bad. Cena is the kind of guy who could have a good match against Henry if given the time, but again what can you ask for with about two hundred seconds to a match? Nothing to see here.

Post match Henry lays out Cena but Ryback makes the save. Ryback lays out Henry with a Meat Hook…..and turns to look at Cena. The fans chant YES but Ryback pulls Cena to his feet. Cena stares at him and Ryback nods. Cena poses on the ropes and Ryback does FEED ME MORE. Cena looks at Ryback…..AND THERE’S THE MEAT HOOK! Shell Shock to Cena ends the show and we’ve got a heel turn.

Overall Rating: C+. I’ve seen over 40,000 matches and well over 2000 shows. I have NEVER seen anything like this crowd tonight. I’m pretty sure they started because they were bored and then they just took off. As for the show….eh it wasn’t terrible, but the first hour SUCKED. I’m sick of these GM’s having to hold our hands through every match being made and taking up so much time because saying “these two have issues, tonight they fight” is too complex. Anyway, a lot of stuff happened tonight and it’s going to be interesting to see the fallout of it. Good show overall and FAR more interesting than I was expecting.

Results

Big E. Langston b. Daniel Bryan – Big Ending

Wade Barrett b. The Miz – Bull Hammer

Alberto Del Rio b. Jack Swagger/Zeb Colter – Cross Armbreaker to Swagger

Dolph Ziggler b. Alberto Del Rio – Zig Zag

Zack Ryder/Santino Marella/R-Truth b. 3MB – Cobra to Slater

Sheamus b. Randy Orton via DQ when Big Show interfered

Fandango b. Kofi Kingston via DQ when Chris Jericho interfered

John Cena b. Mark Henry via countout

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon at:

The place went nuts when his music hit.  Del Rio has just finished a handicap match against Swagger and Colter.  Ziggler……WON THE TITLE with the Zig Zag.  New Champion!

I kid you not.During his opening promo he did a dance, during which he said he was going to shake, so he shook his hips.  Then he said he was going to kick a little bit, so he kicked his foot up.  Then he slid his foot around the mat and said “maybe a little heel turn too?”

Yeah he’s still a face but the joke was funny.