Back to what has officially become the most boring show this side of Warriors of Wrestling. We’re hopefully wrapping this season up but getting there is really dragging, as there were zero stories last week as well as no promos at all. That’s a shame as the show was starting to get good up until that point. Let’s get to it.

To give you an idea of how much WWE.com cares about this show, their website says it’s up every Wednesday at 4pm EST. It’s currently 8:05pm EST and I have to watch this on Youtube because neither today’s show, nor last week’s show are currently on WWE.com’s NXT page.

Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks vs. Usos

It’s 8:19 and the show can now be found on WWE.com, if you look in the What’s Hot section instead of the NXT section. If I’m a TV company, I’d be curious as to why I should put a show on that they don’t even bother to put up on time. Anyway Jey and Reks get us going. Not much going on so far so Jey shouts to the crowd a little bit. Hawkins comes in and nothing goes anywhere now either. A quick chin/headlock by Jey goes nowhere so we head to the mat.

Off to Jimmy who armdrags Hawkins down and it’s back to Jey. A headbutt to the chest gets one and the Usos tag again. Regal explains what cutting the ring in half means, because a term like that needs an explanation apparently. Jey escapes a slam and hits a great superkick to put Hawkins down. Reks pulls Curt to the floor to avoid the Superfly Splash so the Usos dive onto both heels as we take a break.

Back with Jey holding a hammerlock on Hawkins on the mat. Jey loads up a superkick but Hawkins drops to the floor and suckers Jey in. Blind tag brings in Reks and the Usos lose control for the first time. Hawkins comes in with a kick to the back and a chinlock. Back to Reks who puts on something like a Tazmission.

Jey escapes and it’s off to Jimmy on a not very hot tag. A Bubba Bomb puts Reks down and the Umaga hip smash gets two. Hawkins interferes, allowing Reks to hit a Downward Spiral for two. Jey comes in with a Samoan Drop for two. Jimmy is sent to the floor and Reks/Hawkins hit a powerslam/neckbreaker combo to pin Jey at 10:59.

Rating: C. The match was pretty boring until the ending where things picked up in a hurry. That being said, we’ve seen these two teams fight more times than I can remember, which makes this a little less interesting. Also having no story to it hurts things, but the match was perfectly fine. More Usos please.

Tamina Snuka vs. Kaitlyn

Maxine is on commentary, which is literally the first continued story in two weeks. She’s fought them both before and this is due to last week’s Kaitlyn vs. Maxine match apparently. Kaitlyn takes her to the mat and hooks a bodyscissors and a rollup for two. Tamina takes her down as well and puts on a seated abdominal stretch. Maxine makes fun of Kaitlyn’s hair and Tamina changes to a chinlock. The crowd is surprisingly not completely dead here. Kaitlyn fights out and hits a bad cross body for two. Kaitlyn trips her up as they run the ropes and hooks a full nelson with her legs to make Tamina tap (with her foot) at 5:21.

Rating: D+. The match was pretty dull, but I’m digging this dueling submission story they’ve got going with Maxine and Kaitlyn. Also it’s amazing how far less unbearable the Divas are when they get some time to work out a match instead of hitting like three kicks, a missed charge and the finisher with a signature move thrown in. Imagine that: wrestling makes things better.

Raw ReBound is about Big Show, which is all that Monday’s show was about anyway.

Justin Gabriel/Derrick Bateman/Percy Watson vs. Michael McGillicutty/Johnny Curtis/JTG

Hey Justin is back. JTG still has the new attire and I still don’t want to see him ever again. Watson and JTG get us going Watson works on the arm but JTG speeds things up a bit. That’s cool with Watson as he runs over JTG and slams him down for two. Off to Justin who hooks an armdrag into an armbar. JTG gets him into the corner and it’s off to Curtis who takes over.

Gabriel channels his inner Steamboat and armdrags his way to freedom, taking Curtis to the mat. Off to Bateman who dropkicks Johnny down for two. He misses a charge though and McGillicutty stomps Bateman down in the corner. Everything breaks down and the faces stand tall as we take a break. Back with Michael putting Bateman in a chinlock and punching him in the face a few times.

Dropkick gets two on Bateman. Back to Curtis who has #letsgetweird on his trunks. If you really want to push Twitter that hard, you would think they could find a better billboard than Curtis. McGillicutty and Curtis tag two more times as I guess they won’t like JTG either. Curtis gives up the tag and it’s off to Watson. Watson cleans house but JTG low bridges him to send Percy crashing to the floor.

JTG pounds on Percy both in and out of the ring, getting two in the former. Off to the chinlock again and then back to Curtis. Elbow to the face gets two. Watson hits a belly to belly out of nowhere and makes the tag to Justin. JTG comes in at the same time and things speed up. Gabriel hits a blue Thunder Bomb for two and everything breaks down. Bateman dives on McGillicutty and Curtis while Gabriel hits a jumping tornado DDT for the pin at 12:13.

Rating: C+. This was pretty good but it came and went. You had three good guys, you had three bad guys, you had twelve minutes, and the good guys won. It was pretty entertaining though and that’s really all you can ask for on NXT in this weird kind of limbo period they’re in at the moment.

Overall Rating: C+. Like I said in the main event, you really can’t ask for more than about 45 minutes of entertaining matches from Superstars II anymore. Regal’s position as matchmaker is never mentioned anymore, the attacks in the back are never mentioned anymore, and the Hawkins/Reks being security is never mentioned anymore. I know I’m in the small minority here, but I kind of wanted to see where those things were going. I’ve spent a year on this already and I’d like to see some resolution to those stories. This was entertaining at least though.

Results
Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks b. The Usos – Powerslam/Neckbreaker combination to Jey Uso
Kaitlyn b. Tamina Snuka – Full Nelson with Legs
Justin Gabriel/Derrick Bateman/Percy Watson b. JTG/Johnny Curtis/Michael McGillicutty – Tornado DDT to JTG

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http://www.wwe.com/inside/randy-orton-suspended-for-60-days

Thoughts?

Morales got his in 1980 and Diesel in 1994. That means 3 men did this in about 15 years. In the 18 years since then, another 21 have gotten the Triple Crown. Just to give you an idea of how meaningless this is, Big Show completed the (official according to WWE) Triple Crown at Wrestlemania. He also completed another one in one year, as he won the World Title at TLC, and the tag titles with Kane a bit after Mania 27 (does ANYONE remember that reign?). Did you hear anything about it? No, because it doesn’t mean anything anymore.

Sign of the times.

It’s Memorial Day which means that not a lot of people are going to watch here. Hopefully that doesn’t mean they put on a horrible show which they’ve been known to do at times. The main story is still Cena/Ace with the occasional mention of Lesnar vs. HHH, because who would want to see Brock Lesnar when we can have a dynamic skateboarder? Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Memorial Day and the military as you would expect.

The regular opening is about Cena/Ace/Show from the PPV and last week.

Here’s Show to open things up. He says that while he’s a giant, he’s a businessman first. What he did, he did it for the sake of business. The bonus he got has set him for life, meaning that he doesn’t have to please the fans anymore and he can beat people up as he pleases. No one can match him, be it an NFL player, a UFC fighter, or a WWE superstar.

Two weeks ago he was made to beg, but immediately after it, this happened. We see a clip of Brodus, Kofi and Truth dancing with kids from immediately after. Where was his sympathy? Then at the end of the night, Cena made jokes while talking with Ace, so maybe that’s all Show is: a big joke. At No Way Out, Cena will get a real beating and have the real embarrassment that Rock and Lesnar tried to give him. And that’s it. No Cena or anything, just ten minutes of Show talking.

Punk vs. Bryan tonight? Cool.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Santino Marella

This is I guess fallout from Santino vs. Ricardo. Alberto beats him down very quickly but gets caught by the hiptoss and headbutt, but the Cobra is broken up and the US Champion taps to the cross armbreaker at 45 seconds.

Alex Riley sucks up to Eve when Big Show pops up. Show gets to pick his opponent tonight and looks at Riley, who begs off. Show says it’s ok and that Riley won’t be his opponent. There’s a message he has for the locker room though, and he rams Riley into the wall. Ok then.

Tag Titles: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler

Truth and Swagger get things going and it’s off to Truth quickly. We get some hip thrusting and Swagger charges over the top. Kofi and Truth kick Ziggler in the head and send him to the floor. Stereo baseball slides take us to a break. Back with Swagger holding onto Kofi. During the break Kofi was knocked to the barricade, which Lawler says meant we almost had new champions.

Dolph comes in and drops an elbow for two before working on the arm. A Stinger Splash misses and it’s off to Truth. A rollup and DDT both get two on Swagger as the fans are into this for some reason. Truth launches Kofi onto Dolph and they head to the floor. Little Jimmy to Swagger retains the titles at 7:11.

Rating: D+. These matches are getting more and more worthless. It’s obvious that Truth is there as a replacement for Bourne and that Kofi is there just to give him something to do. That translates to something very uninteresting, but then again the tag titles have had that distinction for years now.

Post match Dolph yells at Swagger that he’s better and walks out on his own. Thank goodness.

Santino is getting help in the back when Show comes up. He puts his hand over Santino’s face and yells when Brodus comes up. Brodus wants to be the opponent and Show says it’s on.

Here’s Ace and his administration. He says that tonight it’s Show vs. Brodus and at No Way Out, Show vs. Cena is in a cage. There’s something covered up behind him under a sheet. Ace talks about WWE ’13 (video game) and unveils the cover which has him on it of course. “It’s going to be bigger than Pac-Man!” Cue Punk who says exactly what you would expect him to say. He says that someone a lot more handsome will be on the cover.

Fireworks go off and a banner with Punk on the cover comes down. Punk: “Mine is a lot bigger than yours.” He talks about how great it is to have a wrestler on the cover of a wrestling game, and knows that he’s got Bryan tonight so there’s no point in making some “never before seen” match. The administration leaves and Punk breaks the Ace poster.

Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk

This is non-title. We get a video about the Kane aspect of this feud so you know what’s coming at the end. Punk controls the arm to start and Bryan does the same a bit later. Bryan misses a knee drop and Punk drops some knees of his own for two. Off to a bodyscissors which is broken pretty quickly. Backslide gets two for both and Bryan goes up, hitting a top rope knee to send Punk to the floor. Baseball slide misses and Punk hits a dive to take Bryan out. Cue AJ in a Punk shirt as we take a break.

During the break Bryan hit another knee to the head, this time from the apron. It doesn’t seem to matter as Punk is in control. Bryan moonsaults out of the corner and Punk misses his spinning cross body, crashing to the mat. Bryan hits a dropkick to the side of the head and another in the corner for two. Punk fires off kicks from the mat but gets caught in a northern lights suplex for two. Punk comes back with some strikes and the spinning neckbreaker for two. Knee/bulldog in the corner of course doesn’t work but Bryan’s high kick does as well, getting Punk two off a rollup.

Springboard clothesline gets two for Punk and both guys are down. The Macho Elbow drop is broken up and Bryan superplexes him off the top. That only gets two and the fans are getting back into it. I’m not sure why they got out of it in the first place. Bryan takes the buckle pad off and AJ protests, but that just lets Bryan do more. Punk hits the High Kick for two. He charges at Bryan and gets dropped face first onto the exposed buckle for the pin at 15:10.

Rating: B-. I didn’t like this one as much but at least Punk didn’t lose clean. This felt more like they were just doing their signature moves for awhile until they got to the ending. AJ didn’t really add much, but her in an outfit like that is never a bad thing. Pretty good match here but nothing compared to the PPV one.

Kane beats up Bryan with a chair post match and chokeslams him onto said chair. AJ slides one in to Punk before Kane can hit Punk with it and Punk beats Kane to the floor.

Christian vs. The Miz

Before the match we hear about Jericho not being here because of the Brazil incident. Cody is on commentary. Christian tries a sunset flip out of the corner but Miz rolls through and hits a boot to the face of the champ. Corner clothesline hits as does the top rope axhandle for two. Off to a chinlock and then a camel clutch. Christian fights back and loads up a spear but charges into a boot to the face. Cody gets off commentary and distracts Christian for two. The Finale and Killswitch are countered but Miz misses a charge and it’s Killsiwtch and Frog Splash for the pin at 4:14.

Rating: C-. Miz is pretty firmly entrenched as the jobber to the stars here and that’s ok. Setting up Cody vs. Christian is fine but I’m hoping it leads to Cody moving up. He’s gotten the IC Title about as far as he could and there’s nothing left for him to do with it. The match was fine.

Ace sends Teddy away and yells at Otunga and Eve. Otunga volunteers to face Sheamus tonight as penance. Teddy comes back with Eve’s coffer and she spits it on him because it’s cold. Everyone but Teddy leaves. Teddy: “It’s supposed to be cold. IT’S ICED COFFEE.”

After a break, Miz is in the ring. He wants the match stricken from the record because it wasn’t for the title. He got the pin for Ace at Wrestlemania but can’t get a title match or a guarnateed contract. Orton comes out, RKOs Miz, and that’s that. I guess Miz is replacing Jericho.

Ziggler is watching in the back and says he wants out of the tag team. He wants to be on his own so Vickie says she’ll see what she can do.

We get a video with comments from Cena about Memorial Day. Just put a big VOTE FOR MCMAHON graphic up already.

Kane vs. Punk for the title on Friday.

Sheamus vs. David Otunga

Otunga uses the strength that he has to pound Sheamus into the corner but the champ takes his head off with a double ax. There are the ten forearms, White Noise, Brogue Kick, 2:45.

We get the same recap that opened the show but a slightly shorter version.

Brodus Clay vs. Big Show

It’s 11pm so it’s time for Show to talk. He says that he thought he was a sellout when he put on a diaper against Akebono at Wrestlemania. That’s nothing compared to Brodus though, who embarrasses himself nightly. Brodus comes up the aisle and gets speared down. Show destroys him as well as the tag champions when they run out.

He breaks the announce table and hits Brodus in the back with it before beating up the champions a bit more. Trouble in Paradise is caught in a choke until Kofi is thrown through the barricade. The beating goes on for awhile and Brodus gets punched. No match of course and Show and Ace pose on the stage to end the show. Cena is back next week.

Overall Rating: D. The show was decent enough from a technical standpoint, but my goodness I do not care about Big Show and whatever his latest heel turn is about (yes I know what it is). It’s about as by the numbers as you could get and it couldn’t be clearer that they’re just dragging it through to the summer for whatever their big idea is there. I was sitting here tonight waiting on this show to end. That’s not a good thing.

Results
Alberto Del Rio b. Santino Marella – Cross Armbreaker
R-Truth/Kofi Kingston b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler – Little Jimmy to Swagger
Daniel Bryan b. CM Punk – Hot Shot onto an exposed turnbuckle
Christian b. The Miz – Frog Splash
Sheamus b. David Otunga – Brogue Kick

Remember to like this on Facebook and follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

It’s after Over the Limit and Sheamus is still champion after a pretty fun fatal fourway. Other than that there isn’t much to talk about other than a new Intercontinental Champion in the form of Christian. We begin the build to No Way Out tonight but since Raw was mostly a throwaway show, I’d expect about the same thing here. Hopefully it’s better than last week’s. Let’s get to it.

The opening is about Cena vs. Ace from the PPV and the fallout from Raw.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is three and a half minute recaps of a story that I didn’t like when it aired on Raw.

Here’s Eve to open us up in the arena. Ace isn’t here tonight so she’s in charge. Ace is going to deal with Cena on Monday so tonight, she’s going to deal with Sheamus. Sheamus is going to issue a public apology for running over Ace on Monday and also, she’ll name his #1 contender. Cue Alberto who sucks up to Eve for awhile. She says no one is more deserving than him, but here’s Orton for a rebuttal.

He introduces himself to Eve and asks the fans who they would like to see. After the obvious response, here’s Kane. Kane says he should get to face “that pasty white Irish ghost.” If you need more convincing, tonight is episode #666 of Smackdown. Eve makes a triple threat for the title shot.

Christian vs. Hunico

Non-title here. Christian takes him down with a forearm but stops to go after Camacho, allowing Hunico to get in a shot and a suicide dive. A springboard dive misses and Christian takes over again. A big right hand puts Hunico on his knee and a middle rope back elbow puts him on his back. After a baseball slide takes out Hunico, it’s Killswitch and Frog Splash for the pin at 3:03.

Rating: C-. Not bad here as Hunico is a guy that is very slowly growing on me. I like Christian using the frog splash better than just the Killswitch as it looks more devastating. It’s also more of a face move which furthers his turn a little more. This made Christian look good but let Hunico get in some offense at the same time. Proper jobber usage makes me happy.

Cody comes out with Christian still in the ring. He talks about how he spent eight months making the title important again after it had been held by jokes. Cody restored it to greatness that people like Razor Ramon and Shawn Michaels and Cody Rhodes gave it. It won’t take him eight months to get it back, but rather 3 seconds.

Darren Young/Titus O’Neil vs. Usos

Jimmy vs. Titus to start. This is due to some argument in the back earlier today where they made fun of each others’ dances. The Usos take over quickly and double team O’Neil in the corner. Young kicks Jey in the back though and the NXT Crew takes over. Titus suplexes Young onto Jey for two. Young misses a charge and it’s off to Jimmy. He cleans a few rooms of the house and everything breaks down. Jey looks to set up the Superfly Splash but Young crotches him and the Demolition Decapitator gets the pin at 3:12. The Millions of Dollars dance is still good.

Rating: D+. Just a tag match for the most part here, but again I have to ask: where was this from Young/O’Neil for a year on NXT? This was entertaining and I’m liking this team more when they’re on every week. They have charisma and show off out there, which is what they never did on the yellow show. Alas, the Usos are the tag team jobbers now.

Sin Cara returns next week.

Ryback vs. Brian Edwards/Kevin Bendol

The jobbers make fun of the town some more and I think you can figure this one out. Ryback’s left eye is MESSED UP. It’s all bruised and it looks like there’s blood in it. The cannon fodder doesn’t have to tag. Ryback picks one of them up in a powerbomb position and slams him into the other guy. Powerbomb kills one and the clothesline kills another. Ryback picks one of them up for the MuscleBuster, then picks the other one up AT THE SAME TIME. He walks them around and a double MuscleBuster ends this at 1:26. That ending was awesome.

Santino Marella vs. Ricardo Rodriguez

This should be entertaining. It’s a continuation of Ricardo getting beaten up on Raw. Ricardo wrestles in his tuxedo and has his own theme music. He introduces himself as well which is amusing. Santino hooks a headlock but Ricardo shoves him off and runs the ropes while Santino watches. We get an airplane spin from Santino but he makes himself dizzy and falls to the floor. He crawls under the ring and sneaks up on Ricardo so that the Cobra can end it at 1:50. Comedy matches are fine.

Here’s Sheamus for his apology. Sheamus says it was an accident but it was accidentally on purpose. He apologizes for Ace being so horrible and for Eve and Otunga being so far up Johnny that they can tell what he has for breakfast. Oh and Big Show sucks too. As for No Way Out, he wants to face Orton. Here’s Vickie for some reason who says Eve has made a match for Sheamus.

Sheamus vs. Jack Swagger

They lock up and go into the corner with no one getting an advantage. Some elbows to the face knock Swagger back but Sheamus misses a charge into the corner. It turns into a fist fight which puts Jack down, followed by the top rope shoulder for two. Swagger goes to the floor so Sheamus runs him over out there too. Vickie offers a distraction which lets Swagger knock Sheamus off the apron and possibly injure the champ’s ankle.

We take a break and come back with Swagger working on both the ankle and the shoulder. He DDTs the leg for two. Swagger ties it up in the ropes in the corner but misses a kick. Sheamus hits a neckbreaker and both guys are down. The champ comes back with the ax handles and the forearms in the ropes. Jack kicks him in the ankle again and goes for the ankle lock but Sheamus kicks him off. Brogue Kick misses and Swagger takes out the leg for two. Booker: “Two and three quarters. That’s a victory!” Sheamus escapes the gutwrench powerbomb and the Brogue Kick finishes at 6:56 shown of 10:26.

Rating: C. This was fine. Swagger is firmly cemented in his jobber to the stars status and given how dull he’s become lately, that’s about as much as he can ask for. Sheamus looked decent here but he still needs some more development. It’s not an emergency though as the fans are cheering him very strong at the moment. Decent match.

Big Show will speak later. Cole says these might be the darkest days in WWE history. I know Cole is known for hyperbole, but are you kidding me?

Yoshi Tatsu vs. Damien Sandow

Sandow does his usual stuff before the match. I’m digging the Backlund robe too. Yoshi is an ignoramus and a dunce. The hot pink trunks work too. Yoshi charges and Sandow hides in the ropes while shouting at the referee to “please do your job thank you!” Sandow gets a shot in and the neckbreaker ends this at 45 seconds.

We look at the ending to the Ryback match again.

No Way Out ad, set like a 1920s silent movie. AJ is tied to railroad tracks, Bryan saves her, and AJ ties him up. She has a mustache now too. Cool?

We recap Big Show on Raw and at the PPV, because we might have forgotten it in the last hour and fifteen minutes. And Cole, it still isn’t the darkest day in WWE history.

Here’s Big Show for an explanation. Show says he was never fired until a few weeks ago. Everyone here has probably been fired, but they don’t love what they do. He’s a 7’4 giant and loves to wrestle. No one offered him any sympathy and he wasn’t too pleased with that. Show is sitting on a stool for this. After all the years he’s been here, that’s what he gets? The fans think he sold out which he denies.

After everything he’s done, this is the thanks he gets? It made him realize he has no friends and that he’s alone in this world. Then he got a phone call. The fans chant for Cena. Show says he made a deal with Ace to come back with a new contract and a big fat bonus. He knew exactly what he would do and he knows he’ll knock Cena out at the PPV. The fans never cared for him and now he doesn’t care for them. Why couldn’t we get this explanation on Raw? Didn’t he say he didn’t owe us one? Still though, it’s better than nothing.

As Show is leaving, here’s Kane. I guess we’re running short on time because he’s just coming out for the main event early. As Kane gets in, Bryan appears and beats the tar out of Kane with a chair. He probably hit him 20 times. I’m not sure if you can call this a face action or not, but it draws a HUGE YES chant.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Randy Orton vs. Kane

The winner gets Sheamus at No Way Out. Kane is going to give it a go here. Orton goes after Alberto to start but punches Kane a bit too. Del Rio gets knocked to the floor and Kane hits the low dropkick on Orton for two. Orton hits his backbreaker but Del Rio makes the save. Kane knocks both of them to the floor and follows them to the outside. He beats up both guys but Orton comes back and rams both of them into the barricade and adds a few shots to the table for Kane.

Orton loads up the elevated DDT but Alberto hits an enziguri to break that up. We take a break and come back with Kane hitting Del Rio with an uppercut. Orton takes one as well which gets two for Kane. An elbow drop gets the same. Del Rio hits the enziguri to the shoulder and Kane goes down, giving Team Mexico control. Orton backdrops him to the apron and dropkicks him to the floor, but he walks into a side slam for two.

Kane goes up for the clothesline but Del Rio comes back in and runs up the corner for an enziguri that puts Kane on the floor. A big kick misses and Orton comes back. Kane comes back in and takes the powerslam, as does Del Rio. Del Rio goes to the corner but Orton hits the elevated DDT to bring him back down. The RKO is escaped and Kane pulls Randy to the floor and sends him into the steps.

The top rope clothesline misses but the cross armbreaker is escaped and Kane hits the chokeslam. Here’s Bryan again with the chair but Kane sees him coming. Kane chases him off but as he gets back in, here’s Bryan again. Kane sees him again and stares him down. As Kane turns around he walks into the RKO. Del Rio kicks Orton away and steals the pin at 7:51 shown of 11:21.

Rating: C+. This was pretty good, although the chair attack before the match didn’t wind up amounting to that much. Del Rio vs. Sheamus doesn’t really blow my skirt up but it’s what they’ve wanted to do for months. The interesting thing is Kane vs. Bryan as it looks like that’s what they’re building to. I don’t think Bryan vs. Punk was officially announced but I could easily see it turning into a triple threat. Good main event here.

Sheamus kicks Del Rio’s head off to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a much more entertaining episode than last week. It set up a few matches for the PPV and we got the explanation from Big Show that we didn’t have time for on Raw. This show could almost be called a supplement to Monday and in that regard, it was ok. Ryback continues to be awesome and I’m intrigued by where this Bryan thing is going. Much better show this week.

Results
Christian b. Hunico – Frog Splash
Darren Young/Titus O’Neil b. Usos – Demolition Decapitator to Jimmy
Ryback b. Brian Edwards/Kevin Bendol – Double MuscleBuster
Santino Marella b. Ricardo Rodriguez – Cobra
Sheamus b. Jack Swagger – Brogue Kick
Damien Sandow b. Yoshi Tatsu – Neckbreaker
Alberto Del Rio b. Randy Orton and Kane – Del Rio pinned Kane after an RKO from Orton

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http://www.wwe.com/inside/jericho-brazil

Thoughts on this?

OH COME ON! Apparently they’re going to wrap up this season instead of going straight to the new stuff. I know this is going to sound crazy, but I think I’d prefer it that way. I’ve spent over a year on this awful show and I need to get to the end of it for my own sanity’s sake. Hopefully they wrap it up soon though. Let’s get to it.

Jinder Mahal vs. Derrick Bateman

Feeling out process to start with Mahal shoving Bateman into the corner. Regal talks about Mahal’s cousin who is the two year running Indian karaoke champion. His name is Getupta Singh. Bateman comes back with some hard chops as a USA chant comes up. Clothesline gets two for Bateman.

Mahal comes back with his long legs and chokes away on the ropes. Bateman fights out of a chinlock but gets caught in a cravate with knees to the head, getting two. Bateman comes back with a chop and clothesline followed by a running flip neckbreaker for two. Missile dropkick gets the same. Bateman’s falling bulldog is escaped and Mahal hits a running knee to the face. A few knees to the back set up the camel clutch to make Bateman tap at 6:29.

Rating: D+. Nothing much here but I’m getting tired of this “Bateman is a rookie so beating someone from the main roster is a big deal.” Bateman has been on NXT for what, two years or so? Mahal debuted in April of 2011. If you want to REALLY stretch it, they’re equals at worst. Let it go already. The match was fine.

Percy Watson vs. Heath Slater

Josh FINALLY explains what the One Man Southern Rock Band means: Slater doesn’t need backup. It took how many months to say something that took two seconds to say? Slater quickly takes him to the mat but Watson kicks out of it with ease. Slater goes to the apron and hits a HARD right hand to take over. Why he had to go out there for a punch I’m not sure but whatever.

Off to a chinlock as Regal calls Slater a terrier, as in a dog. I’m not sure I get the connection but then again I’m not British. Slater hits Watson in the back of the head with an elbow and a kick to the same place gets two. Back to the chinlock for a few moments and Heath goes up. It’s the jump into the boot spot which drives me crazy, followed by a dropkick from Percy. Heisman gets two and avoids a clothesline to finish with Persecution at 6:23.

Rating: C-. Again the match was fine, but Watson is in an awkward place. He’s too good to keep facing all of the NXT guys but he’s not good enough to go face the main guys yet. The other problem is he’s just Percy Watson and is athletic. His matches are ok but there’s nothing memorable about him at all. I’m not sure what to do with him, but he really doesn’t need to change anything immediately so it’s not a huge problem.

Alicia Fox vs. Maxine

There’s only one way to put it: that animal thing on the top of Alicia’s head looks stupid. The announcers actually point out that Alicia used to be Maxine’s Pro. Very slow start so let’s talk about Josh’s love life. Maxine controls until Alicia fires off some elbows to the face. Maxine takes her back down and hooks a chinlock. Alicia hits some dropkicks and a northern lights suplex for two. Fox tries a rollup but gets countered into a dragon sleeper with a body scissors for the tap out at 6:09.

Rating: D. This was a really dull match and I can’t believe it was over six minutes long. Fox is just worthless. She looks stupid with that fur thing, she’s nothing special in the ring, and her looks are just ok. Maxine is hot and has catchy theme music, but above all else, she has a personality. It helps a lot and is a reason she’s one of the best Divas in the company.

Raw ReBound is about Cena/Show/Ace.

Drew McIntyre/Johnny Curtis vs. Great Khali/Ezekiel Jackson

Khali and Curtis get us starting and let the chopping begin. With Curtis looking like he’s coming to join Elizabeth, it’s off to Jackson. Off to McIntyre who gets chopped as well. Those are some sore chests. Drew finally gets in a shot to the knee and stomps Khali down into the corner. Khali shrugs him off and tags in Jackson who hits his clothesline in the corner and clears the ring.

We take a break and come back Drew “kicking” Big Zeke in the face and tagging in Curtis who is slammed a few times. Zeks goes after McIntyre who gets in a shot to the knee to let the heels finally take over. Curtis works on said leg for a good while until it’s off to Drew. He kicks at the knee but gets slammed. Tag to Khali who beats up both opponents and the Plunge ends Curtis at 9:03.

Rating: D. This was definitely the weakest match of the night. Why are these people teaming together? I know Khali and Jackson teamed up last week, which to be far is about as good as you’re going to get for a tag team these days, but what about the other guys? It was boring and was a borderline squash by Khali/Jackson.

Overall Rating: D. Sacre bleu what a boring show. For those of you that say there’s too much talking and backstage segments, I give you this as an example as to why those things need to exist. There was not a single promo, segment or anything that advanced a story on this show. I get that it’s because they’re moving to the new stuff soon, but if nothing else make up some short term ones. With no reason for these people to fight other than it’s that time of the week, there’s no reason to care about this show and it needs to wrap up soon.

Results
Jinder Mahal b. Derrick Bateman – Camel Clutch
Percy Watson b. Heath Slater – Persecution
Maxine b. Alicia Fox – Dragon Sleeper with bodyscissors
Great Khali/Ezekiel Jackson b. Drew McIntyre/Johnny Curtis – Punjabi Plunge to Curtis

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It’s back to Raw again and we have a full four weeks to build up to No Way Out. That’s the cage match PPV as they continue to try to find a theme show for June. Anyway Ace won last night due to the SHOCKING Big Show turn. Other than that Punk and Sheamus both retained. Odds are Lesnar will be here this week as we need to start building to the cage PPV, which is a natural fit for him. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the ending to last night’s show.

Here’s angry Cena to open the show. He says that he’s had a lot of matches like this where he loses and then comes out and talks about losing and then moves on. This is different though. It’s not about how he lost but the fact that he just did. Cena talks about how Ace has been a bully since he got here and last night Cena got to give him some payback for it. Ace ran and then Big Show threw him back and it was fun again.

Show threw Ace to Cena for an AA and then Show knocked him out. Cena is upset here. He talks about how people have been saying he should have just beaten Ace when he had the chance, but if the giant was already paid off it wouldn’t have mattered anyway. If it wasn’t for the times when he had Ace in the STF last night, that would make a lot of sense.

Cena isn’t sure who the new GM would be (“YOU COULD EVEN BRING THE COMPUTER BACK!”) but they could have rehired the Big Show. But instead Ace won and it’s more People Power. Now we’re going to see some graphic and then hear from Ace about how he’s got a new plan or whatever and it’s crap. Cue Ace…..or rather Eve to Ace’s music. Cena: “Wow John you got really hot but you still suck!” She brings out Ace…..in a freaking motorized scooter with a People Power plate on it. Ok that’s freaking funny. She helps Ace onto a crutch and it’s time to talk some more.

He talks about how after the match last night he was sent to the hospital and he has some possible injuries to his clavicle, knee and spine. He can’t use his left extremities due to possible nerve damage but that’s ok because he proved that he’s a fierce competitor. If anyone touches him, he’s fired. Ace rehired Show on Satur……WAIT WHAT? IF SHOW IS REHIRED ON SATURDAY, THEN ACE SHOULD BE FIRED!!! Cena vs. Show, No Way Out, you know the drill.

Here’s Show to a lot of booing. He talks about how he doesn’t owe us an explanation and how last week he was on his knees crying. The fans say he’s a sellout but he’s mad about the lack of sympathy. He yells about Cena saying how dare you a lot. He’ll knock Cena out at the PPV and that’s it. Here’s Otunga who says he’s going to beat Cena now. Cena says he’s not in the mood right now so go watch Law and Order reruns because it’ll end badly otherwise. Otunga says ok and dedicates the match to Ace, which will be after a break. The segment was great until the HORRIBLE plot hole.

David Otunga vs. John Cena

The very angry Cena lets Otunga run away about three times and there’s no contact at all so far. Make it four times. Cena fakes him out and gets caught anyway by a bunch of forearms. Cena comes back with some punches and the beating begins. HARD clothesline puts Otunga down and it’s the AA into the STF at 1:57.

Post match Hawkins, Reks, Young and O’Neil run in for the beatdown. Sheamus makes the save, running over Ace in the process. So he’ll be fired right? They get thrown out and Ace yells at all four of them. Ace makes Sheamus/Cena vs. three unnamed people in a lumberjack match.

Here’s Ricardo to introduce Del Rio for his aforementioned match with Orton. Instead it’s Santino who comes out to say that Ricardo is hard to understand. They talk about rolling R’s when you talk and Santino gives him the Cobra. Santino does Del Rio’s entrance and there’s no Del Rio. Instead we get a video about how WWE has 1000 episodes, which NOTHING else has ever done. Not even World Championship Wrestling which became Saturday Night which ran for over 30 years without taking a break. Del Rio comes out and Santino leaves….and it’s time for another commercial.

Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio counters Orton to start and goes right for the arm. A hard kick to said arm slows Orton down but the Codebreaker to it is broken up. Orton comes back with punches in the corner and sends Del Rio to the floor as we take ANOTHER commercial. Back with Del Rio hitting the Codebreaker on the arm and a hard kick as well. Del Rio misses a charge and goes through the ropes, allowing Orton to come back with his usual stuff. Elevated DDT looks to set up the RKO but here’s Jericho for the DQ at 7:20 total. I’m not going to rate it because most of that was in the commercial.

Jericho hits the Codebreaker on Orton, likely setting up their match at No Way Out. Jericho says he’s the best in the world at what he does and repeats it for good measure. Orton gets up but walks into another Codebreaker.

Here’s Bryan who says that he made Punk tap. The footage is doctored to make it look like Punk tapped faster. Bryan says he made Punk tap and demands a rematch. Cue Punk who says that he beat Bryan 1-2-3 and shows us a clip….from Smackdown where Bryan caused Kane to destroy Punk. With that, here’s Bryan’s opponent for this evening.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

HOKEY SMOKE THEY ACTUALLY HAD SOMEONE WATCH THE TAPE!!! Punk sits in on commentary. Bryan escapes the chokeslam and they head to the floor. Punk says he has to get a better look and picks up a chair, only to have Bryan pull it away. Kane sees Bryan holding it and destroys him. A chair shot to Bryan gets the DQ at 1:47. This was just there for comedy but I liked it.

Post match Kane chokeslams him twice. Kane leaves and Punk puts Bryan in the Vice to make him tap.

Post break Punk is in the back when AJ comes up. He calls her sadistic and she starts freaking. Before she can go crazy he says she’s the one that’s been a fool this whole time. She starts crying and Punk isn’t sure what to do. He hugs her and says everything is going to be fine while kind of rolling his eyes. Punk says stop crying so she immediately does. He says he digs crazy chicks and leaves. More on this later I’m assuming, but I love crazy AJ.

Christian gets an elaborate introduction before his match.

Christian vs. Jinder Mahal

See, THIS is what guys like Mahal is good for. Why don’t they get that more often? Christian hits the reverse DDT and a missile dropkick to take over. He gets backdropped to the floor and Mahal takes over with a chinlock. Christian comes back and now the story has been changed to Show signing THIS MORNING instead of Saturday. Mahal puts him down for a camel clutch but gets caught with the Killswitch which sets up a frog splash for the pin at 3:15.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match here and it’s a good win for Christian. Not that beating Mahal means anything, but it’s nice to see a good little win to cement that he’s back. Again, do more matches like this one where Christian looks good, someone else gets some TV time, and you don’t waste a potentially big match for free on TV.

Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Layla is watching in the back. Beth jumps her to start until Kelly comes back with her usual stuff. Beth misses a charge and Kelly hits her bad Thesz Press and headscissors. Geez shut up with the screaming woman. Handspring elbow is broken up and it’s a Glam Slam for the pin at 2:28. Ignore that Kelly’s face or chest didn’t hit the mat at all on that move.

Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger/Tensai vs. Sheamus/John Cena

Yeah it’s Tensai now and he doesn’t have the robe anymore. He also walks to the ring fast now, which is a major upgrade. The lumberjacks are all heels of course. Sheamus and Ziggler start with the champ using his power to control. Off to Cena vs. Tensai with Albert moving faster this week. That can only be good for him. Swagger comes in to do nothing but miss his Vader Bomb and let Sheamus come back in.

Knee lift puts Swagger down for two as Ziggler saves. Dolph is sent to the floor and it’s champ vs. Tensai. Sheamus gets knocked to the floor so Sheamus beats up the lumberjacks. Jericho won’t let Sheamus back in so Tensai gets in a shot. Tensai pounds on him some more as we take a break. Back with Sheamus missing the Brogue Kick to Swagger.

Ankle lock goes on but instead of holding it, Jack tags Tensai. Sheamus gets sent to the floor for a mini brawl with the lumberjacks before it’s back inside for an extended beating. Fameasser gets two. Big Show comes out on the stage. Sheamus keeps getting beaten down by Tensai as Show talks about how Show was rehired this morning, thereby making it the latest official history.

The champ punches everyone and the Regal Roll lets him tag Cena. The place likes Cena this week. He cleans house but Sheamus gets jumped by the lumberjacks. Cena dives through the ropes onto them and the lumberjacks do the big beatdown. We’ll say it’s thrown out at about 15:00.

Rating: C-. This was your usual main event style tag match. It wasn’t bad but the constant Sheamus beatdown got pretty dull after awhile. It’s not a bad match or anything but the point of this was the post match stuff, which is fine, especially when you need a way to end the show. Not bad though.

The whole locker room runs out for a HUGE brawl. Show went somewhere. Cena gets to the floor and goes Show hunting. We cut to the back and Cena runs into Ace, who doesn’t know where Show is. Cena turns around into a BIG punch to knock him out and end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was a weird show. It came off as much more light hearted which is a plus, but the plot holes that they kept trying to change got annoying. The main event wasn’t bad but it didn’t serve much of a purpose. One thing to note though: when there’s no legal stuff or contract talk, I enjoy things FAR better. That stuff gets annoying fast so not having it for once was nice. Not a great show but it was fun.

Results
John Cena b. David Otunga – STF
Randy Orton b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when Chris Jericho interfered
Daniel Bryan b. Kane via DQ when Kane used a chair
Christian b. Jinder Mahal – Frog Splash
Beth Phoenix b. Kelly Kelly – Glam Slam
John Cena/Sheamus vs. Tensai/Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger went to a no contest

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Well we have to get this one over with I guess. This is the least interesting and probably least built up show I can remember in years. As of 5:05 PM on the day of the show, we have five matches scheduled for the show, not counting the pre-show match. There are bound to be some matches added, which have to help this show. This is one of the PPVs I’m going into with zero expectations which usually helps a show a lot. That being said, I’m not sure if it works if you plan that way in advance. Let’s get to it.

Apparently there’s been a battle royal added to the show and the winner gets to pick the IC or US Title to challenge for tonight. That’ll help a lot.

Pre-Show: Kane vs. Zack Ryder

Ryder is taken into the corner but shoves Kane away and shouts that he’s not afraid. WHY DID HE NEVER FREAKING DO THAT WHEN HE WAS US CHAMPION THEN??? Ryder gets him to chase him and hits a kind of baseball slide. I really like the set as it looks like a speedometer much like the videos have looked. A suicide dive puts Kane down as he keeps looking for a countout.

Back in and Ryder pounds away but it’s short lived as Kane knocks him down and starts using the power. Clothesline gets two. Off to a bearhug which doesn’t last long. Seated dropkick gets two and it’s off to a body vice. Ryder fights out of it with elbows and hits a quick neckbreaker for two. He snaps Kane’s throat on the top rope but as he goes up, Kane hits an uppercut. Kane charges into the corner knees but the Rough Ryder is countered and a side slam gets two. Ryder comes back again and hits the Broski Boot for one. He loads up the Rough Ryder but charges into the chokeslam for the pin at 6:47.

Rating: C+. No complaints here but again, WHERE WAS THIS RYDER IN JANUARY??? That’s my big issue with Ryder’s destruction by Kane back then: he didn’t even fight. They spent a month and a half building him as this newly confident guy and then he turned into a coward that would rather change a tire than USE THE WRENCH HE WAS HOLDING to fight Kane. Ryder went straight at Kane here and lost, which would have annoyed me back then but I could have lived with it. The match was fine.

Battle Royal

The battle royal is on the pre-show too? Dang I was about to turn it off too. We have Miz, Khali, JTG, Ezekiel Jackson, Tyler Reks, Curt Hawkins, Michael McGillicutty, Yoshi Tatsu, Tyson Kidd, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, Jinder Mahal, Drew McIntyre, Heath Slater, Titus O’Neil, Darren Young, Alex Riley, David Otunga, William Regal (BIG chant), and Christian.

This is going to be on the PPV which is good. The winner can pick the US Title or IC Title to challenge for later tonight. There are 20 men in all. This is a cool idea to start the show with. No opening video either. They start with the usual punching and kicking until Khali throws Slater out. There goes McGillicutty by the same man. The Usos hit a double superkick to put JTG out, making me love them even more.

Drew suplexes Yoshi out and he lands BAD on his ankle. If he’s not hurt it’ll be a miracle. Reks and Hawkins put Jackson out just before Darren Young puts an Uso out. Someone puts McIntyre out. I’m sorry for all of the “so and so is out” but there’s not much else you can say until a lot of the guys are gone. Khali puts out Hawkins and Reks and does the same to Mahal. I think there are ten left.

Regal tries to put Kidd out but gets caught in a chokeout. Miz, Young and O’Neil team up to put Khali out. That more or less leaves Miz, Christian and maybe Otunga as the only likely winners. Jackson misses a charge and the remaining Uso kicks him out. Young and let’s say Jey go to the apron and Young knocks him out. Ok we have Miz, Young, Kidd, Regal (out as I type his name, drawing HUGE boos), Christian, Kidd and Otunga. Riley dropkicks Young out to get it to five.

Riley hits a spinebuster on Miz but gets sent to the apron. He goes up top but Miz guillotines him to get it to four. It’s Christian, Miz, Kidd and Otunga. Otunga sends Christian’s shoulder into the post as Kidd kicks Miz. I think Christian is a face here. Kidd gets sent to the apron but hits a springboard missile dropkick to knock Miz and Otunga down. Kidd goes to the apron and tries to headscissor Kidd out, but Otunga dumps Tyson.

Otunga and Miz team up against Christian for a double beating but the corner clothesline misses. Christian dumps Otunga and has to hang on from a sneak attack by Miz. The Finale is countered and Christian is thrown to the apron. Miz chokes him on the apron with a boot but Christian kicks him away. From the apron, Christian throws Miz to the apron as well and a shoulder to the ribs gives the Canadian the win at 12:36.

Rating: C. This was a better battle royal than I’m used to. Christian returning and winning was a nice surprise as he seems to have turned face again. I like him better in that role so seeing him getting a push as a good guy should be a nice change of pace. Fun match here which was a nice surprise.

Christian picks Santino in a surprising move.

Now we get the opening video, which is about change and people power.

Vickie suggests she’ll be the new GM if Ace loses.

Tag Titles: Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler vs. R-Truth/Kofi Kingston

Kofi and Swagger get us going. Jack takes it to the mat but opts for a standing top wristlock instead. Not much happens so it’s off to Truth for a double hiptoss. Spinning legdrop gets two. Ziggler comes in but Kofi gets a blind tag and a springboard missile dropkick for two. Swagger gets in a shot from the apron and a tag to take over. He works on the arm some more and it’s off to Truth who speeds things up.

Vickie distracts the referee which results in Dolph getting his head kicked off. Swagger puts Truth down and hits the Vader Bomb for two. Ziggler comes back in with a Crossface of all things as King is talking about Vickie’s navel. Cole: “If you two were as good at commentating as you were at looking at Vickie you’d be in the Hall of Fame.” King: “I already am.” That was funny for some reason.

Swagger takes Truth down but Truth comes back with a flurry of punches. They don’t get him anywhere as Ziggler comes in for a double team, getting two. Dolph does the handstands on the chinlock which is impressive. Back to Jack who takes Truth into the corner but gets caught by a tornado DDT to put both guys down. Double tag brings in Kofi and Dolph and an SOS gets two. Springboard cross body gets two as Jack makes the save. As Kofi is coming back in he gets caught by a Fameasser for two. Truth dives onto Swagger and Dolph jumps with a Stinger Splash, right into Trouble in Paradise to retain at 12:28.

Rating: B. That’s probably high but I was enjoying this match. Kofi and Dolph have some awesome chemistry together and it worked very well here. They’re clearly building to a big rematch with the Colons, if you can call that big of course. Pretty good match here and I was really liking it by the end.

Eve tells Hawkins and Reks to go into the crowd and confiscate all anti-Laurinitis signs. Otunga says this is legally ok. There has to be a rib here somewhere.

Divas Title: Layla vs. Beth Phoenix

Layla is defending. She grabs a headlock to start but Beth powers her down. The fans want Kharma. Layla takes her back down and pounds away, including an elbow into a charging Beth. Beth counters a rana (I think) out of the corner into a powerbomb to work on the knee. She wraps it around the post and slams her down for two.

There’s a half crab and a tap chant. Layla comes back with a rolling cradle for two. This is a really boring match. After a quick bit on the apron, the Glam Slam is countered into a kind of DDT for two. Another attempt is countered into a rollup for two but Beth counters into one of her own with tights for two. Beth takes the knee out again but walks into the Layout for the pin at 7:13.

Rating: D. I usually don’t like Divas matches but this one was especially boring. The Kharma chants just kept reminding me that they’re keeping the belt warm for her. Layla and Beth are both good looking, but for the life of me I have no desire to watch them have a wrestling match. The ending was better than the rest of the match.

We go to Orton and see a clip of him hitting the RKO after losing to Sheamus. He says Sheamus would have done the same to him. Jericho comes up and says he enjoyed the match on Smackdown with the two of them beating on each other. He says he’ll win, but Orton says that Jericho will only be the best in the world at losing to him.

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus vs. Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton

I’ve been looking forward to this. During the big match intros, the announcers talk about how he has a 25% chance of winning. Wouldn’t they always have at best a 50% chance? Anyway Jericho goes after Orton and Del Rio jumps Sheamus. The good guys almost have a rematch from Friday but the heels jump them again. Del Rio and Jericho are knocked to the floor and it’s rematch time.

Sheamus takes over but gets pulled to the floor by Jericho and thrown into the barricade. Del Rio jumps Orton and works on the arm. The fans chant SI as Del Rio and Jericho have a brief alliance. Alberto heads to the floor and works on Sheamus’ arm, sending him into the table. In the ring Orton suplexes Jericho and stomps him for two. The heels team up again but once Jericho goes for a cover it’s time to fight.

Orton comes back to clothesline Del Rio to the floor and it’s Randy vs. Jericho for a bit. Enziguri gets two for the Canadian. Sheamus has apparently stopped living as he’s been gone for about three minutes now. Cole talks about Raw going three hours as Orton loads up a superplex. Del Rio makes the save for some reason and Orton goes to the floor with Jericho. Sheamus comes back with the top rope shoulder and some knees to Del Rio in the corner.

Regal Roll puts Del Rio down again and Sheamus shouts BROGUE. Del Rio blocks it with an enziguri for two. Into the corner and Sheamus fires off a bunch of elbows to Del Rio’s head. That corner has been a bad place for him so far. Powerslam gets two. The periods of guys laying on the floor is a lot longer tonight. Del Rio takes out the knee and a dropkick to Sheamus while the champ is on his knees gets two.

Del Rio misses a charging kick and gets caught in position for the ten forearms. Jericho pops up with a shot to the back, sending Del Rio and Sheamus to the floor and onto Ricardo. Orton comes back in with the powerslams to Jericho and an elevated DDT to the champion. Cross armbreaker beaks up the RKO but Jericho saves Randy. Lionsault gets knees from Del Rio but Orton hits the backbreaker on Jericho. Irish Curse puts Del Rio down but Orton tries the RKO. Sheamus escapes and misses the Kick but he counters the RKO into a rollup like Friday for two. Orton sends him into the post and out to the floor. Great sequence.

Double DDT takes out Del Rio and Ricardo but Del Rio sends Orton to the floor. Cross armbreaker to Jericho is counters into the Walls (SWEET) but Sheamus comes in to break it up. Jericho ducks the Kick and hits the Codebreaker for two. Cole picks NOW to plug WWE.com. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Jericho hits his finisher so TIME TO PLUG THE WEBSITE!!! Regal Roll is countered into the Walls but Randy RKOs him. Del Rio saves that and takes one of his own. Brogue Kick takes down Orton (great selling) and Jericho rolls Sheamus up with tights for two. I thought that was it. White Noise to Jericho retains at 16:00.

Rating: A. That’s probably high but I really dug this. It was the match I’ve been looking forward to the most all night and it certainly didn’t disappoint. Those finisher parades were great and I was really wondering who was going to get the win, which is the best thing a match can do. Thank goodness they went with this instead of Sheamus vs. Del Rio. I really liked this.

Cody and Eve talk in the back and Rhodes is glad the IC Title is getting legitimized tonight. He says he would have embarrassed Christian tonight and guess who is behind him. Christian changes his mind and is challenging Cody tonight. That’s an intriguing feud if they let Cody be himself.

Here’s Miz for a match but he has a mic first. He also has the coat back which is an upgrade. Miz says that the fans should be praising his existence. Everything that is wrong with the WWE can be summed up in two words: Brodus Clay. Miz says he’s a better dancer and shows off a little bit. Brodus does his stuff and looks like a pumpkin with orange and black this week.

Brodus Clay vs. The Miz

This isn’t a dance off thank goodness. Miz gets shoved into the corner and has his forearms shrugged off. Brodus rams Miz into the corner and hits a suplex. Miz tries to go up top but gets heabutted down. Miz sends Clay into the post on the floor. Back in a pair of top rope ax handles put Brodus down to his knee. Boot to the head gets two and it’s off to a chinlock. Brodus gets up and runs him over, then hits his overhead suplex from the middle rope. Splash ends this at 4:13.

Rating: D+. This was your usual Brodus match. The problem with him at the end of the day is there’s really nothing you can do with him at this stage. He’s squashing bigger names now and the dancing with kids (going on right now) is a nice touch, but they need to give him some adversity or something at all to do so he can move up without things looking silly.

Reks and Hawkins are stealing signs.

Cody complains about the fans being happy with him having to defend the title tonight. He talks about his dad not letting him come to any shows in North Carolina as a kid, and now he knows it’s because he’s better than everyone else. Tonight he’ll prove that he’s better than Christian. I’m liking these short pre-match promos. They add a little something to them.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Cody Rhodes

Christian throws him to the floor to start and Cody is frustrated. Cody comes back in with a Russian legsweep for two and we hit the armbar/neckcrank. Christian gets up but gets dropkicked in the back of his head for two. Cody works him over in the corner and we head outside. The champ climbs the steps like he’s setting for the Disaster Kick but hits a dropkick instead.

Back inside and Cody jumps into a punch to the ribs. Pendulum Kick sets up a middle rope missile dropkick for two. The crowd has gone dead after the foruway. Killswitch is broken up but Christian pops him in the face to keep momentum. Top rope dropkick misses and Cody rolls him up for two. Tornado DDT is countered and Christian stands there for the moonsault press (looked really stupid) for two. Cody yells at the fans about being tired of being jerked around and walks into the Killswitch to give us a new champion at 7:28.

Rating: C-. The match was pretty dull but I’m very pleased with this change. Cody being depushed like he was made the title look horrible and getting it off Rhodes was the best thing they could do. Christian is a steady hand and you know you’re going to get passable matches out of him at worst. Also having him as a face is a plus to me. Boring match, good result.

We go to Punk in the back and see a clip from the end of the Punk vs. Kane match with Bryan getting Punk a beating by Kane. Punk is happy that tonight Ace will be out of a job. First up though is Daniel Bryan who he’s known for ten years. Ten years ago, if you had told Vince that these two would be fighting for the WWE Title on a WWE PPV, you would hear him ask who they both were (complete with a funny Vince imitation). Bryan is a changed man and those changes have gotten on his bad side. Tonight won’t just be a five star classic, but it’ll be…..and here’s AJ who says this is going to be fun. She wishes Punk luck.

Raw World Title: Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk

Cole again plugs WWE.com which has an article about their history. You know, because Cole can’t TELL US THOSE THINGS. Feeling out process to start and Punk takes him into the corner and kicks at the leg. The fans seem totally split. A quick headlock goes nowhere so Punk works on the knee some more. Modified Indian Deathlock goes on from the champ but Bryan gets on top of him and fires off forearms.

Punk weathers that and hits a curb stomp of all things for two. He sends Bryan to the floor but Bryan is ready for him and sends Punk back first into the barricade. The bad ribs are draped over the barricade and Bryan takes over. Back in a top rope missile dropkick (with knee selling) gets two. Bryan hooks a seated abdominal stretch with some elbows to the ribs. Knee drop gets one.

Punk tries a Figure Four out of nowhere (complete with WOO chants. We’re in North Carolina remember) but Bryan rolls him up for two. There’s a surfboard (complete with YES each time he rocks back) which is always cool to me. Bryan keeps Punk’s legs in the air and bends his face down into a dragon sleeper at the same time. FREAKING OW MAN! Off to a regular dragon sleeper but Punk comes back with forearms of his own. That’s some nice storytelling as they’ve mirrored each other completely, even down to the counter into mounted forearms, for the first ten minutes.

Bryan hits a hard running knee drop to the back to keep Punk down. Another misses and Punk gets a Perfectplex for two. Bryan suplexes him down and hits a swan dive headbutt for two. Off to a chinlock with a knee in the back of the champ. Punk gets up and they both hit cross bodies to put both guys down. Back up and Punk fires off forearms and hits the neckbreaker.

Punk tries the corner clothesline but gets kicked in the face. Powerslam gets two for the champ. Bryan escapes a suplex but Punk backdrops him to the floor. Suicide dive takes Daniel down but he hits a dropkick to counter the springboard clothesline for two. Bryan fires off the kicks but the last one is caught in a dragon screw leg whip. Figure Four goes on and the fans get fired up again.

With the hold on they slap it out but Punk doesn’t let go of the hold. Bryan makes the rope and Booker shouts that he has til five. Knee crusher is countered into a sunset flip for two. Punk’s rollup gets the same. Bryan tries something with the arm but Punk pulls away. Bryan is cool with that and kicks Punk’s head off for two. They go to the corner and Punk crotches Bryan on the top.

With Bryan sitting on the ropes, Punk hits the springboard clothesline for two. We’re at almost twenty minutes now and they’re showing no signs of ending soon. The fans think this is awesome. I can’t remember the last time I’ve heard that at a WWE show. They trade forearms from their knees and Punk takes over with his strikes. GTS is countered into a rollup for two.

YES Lock is countered into a slingshot to send Bryan to the apron. He skins the cat but walks into a high kick for two. Bryan put his foot on the rope so Punk hooks it for another two. I like that. Macho Elbow hits but the ribs are too hurt to cover. A Randy Savage chant starts up as Punk gets two. Bryan goes off, firing knees into the ribs. He charges but the running dropkick misses.

Running knee hits but the bulldog is countered into the YES Lock in the middle of the ring. Bryan pulls too hard and Punk falls on top for the pin at 24:04. He was tapping at the same time though so there’s your rematch at No Way Out. I think the pin stands though. Replay shows that the three count was clearly done before Punk tapped and the announcers acknowledged it.

Rating: A. Yep it was great. This whole show has been great but unfortunately these two are going to get blamed when the show tanks because no one wants to see Ace in the ring because no one cares about him. Anyway, the match was great and I have no complaints about it at all. The crowd reaction was great too, which is something you don’t get anymore in WWE so that’s a good sign too.

Yeah another replay shows that the referee was almost up to his feet saying ring the bell before Punk tapped. It’s not even close.

Eve and Otunga are in the back and run into Teddy. He’s happy because if Ace loses, the two of them might get fired.

Camacho vs. Ryback

Lillian says that it’s Hunico but it’s Camacho. Good reaction for Ryback who has Nexus like R bands on his arm. What do you expect here? We get Goldberg chants, some offense from Camacho, spinebuster, a powerbomb and the MuscleBuster for the pin at 1:52.

We recap the main event. Ace calls it People Power, naturally he’s corrupt boss #8000 and brings in Lesnar to be his big machine, only to have Lesnar lose to Cena in his first match. This leads to Ace vs. Cena and if Cena wins, Ace is fired. Oh and if any wrestler interferes, he’s fired. Did I mention Big Show was fired on Monday?

John Cena vs. John Laurinatis

We hear about some All Japan titles and I quote, “one of the greatest tag teams of all times in the Dynamic Dudes.” For those of you unfamiliar, NO. Just NO. Ace is in a full body black suit which is skin tight. I think it’s Under Armour. Just to be clear: The Rock, Brock Lesnar, Johnny Ace. Also for the sake of this, if I use the name John, I will only be referring to Cena. You can only win by pin or submission and if Ace loses he’s fired.

Ace immediately runs to the crowd but Cena catches him. He rips the Armour up and hits a loud chop to the chest and the back. LONG airplane spin puts Ace on the floor and Cena rings the bell next to his ear. Cena puts Ace in Cole’s chair and puts a headset on him. He grabs a mic and says he’ll be Booker while Ace is Cole. Cena’s imitations of both guys are pretty good and Ace says FIVE TIME while half unconscious. Ace has had no offense at all.

Back into the ring and Ace begs for mercy. He extends a hand which gets him slammed. Cena grabs a mic and says he has an idea. He says he’s about to put Ace in the STF and if Ace taps, he’s fired. If Ace can last ten seconds, Cena will let go and in the name of PEOPLE POWER, the fans can keep time. Cena lets go at ten and says the good news is that Ace survived. The bad news is he’s going to do it again. Cena isn’t cranking on it at all.

John goes to the floor and gets some water. He thinks Ace needs some water too so he gets three bottles and pours them over Ace. One of them go down Ace’s pants. Now it’s time for a fire extinguisher. Ace begs for mercy so Cena only sprays him a bit. It’s been hot around here so that doesn’t sound half bad right now. Cena sprays him for about fifteen seconds and Ace looks like a snowman. This is hilarious so far.

Cena finds a trashcan which is full of popcorn and drinks. Well at least it washes the foam off. Ace gets into the crowd as Cena is looking for more stuff but Cena catches him. Ace gets in a shot to the bad arm and Cena is in some trouble. The arm goes into the table as Cole is losing his mind. It goes into the steps and Ace grabs a chair. Naturally, he hits Cena in the ribs instead of the arm but at least he’s trying. A few shots to the back get two.

Cena blocks a chair shot to the head and trips Ace’s legs with it. Instead of the Shuffle, Cena drives the chair into Ace’s face. He picks Ace up but takes a low blow to put him back down again. Ace goes into the crowd again and slowly crawls up the aisle. He gets past the floor seats and Cena is still in the ring. Ace gets out of the arena and the referee isn’t sure what to do.

And here it is. Big Show pops up with Ace by his throat and drags him back to the ring. He throws Ace back in (with a beer gut the size of your local luchador) and Cena is ready. Ace begs off some more so Show stands on his hand. Cena puts him in the AA and of course Show punches him to the shock of no one. Ace gets the pin at 17:08.

Rating: C. The match was a comedy match until the end. I’ll go with a rating in the middle because I enjoyed the big beating but when you know the ending, it’s like watching a movie for the second time. Everyone who has watched more than five minutes of wrestling could tell you what was going to happen there and it’s nothing most people seem interested in from what I’ve read.

Everyone is SHOCKED to end the show. SHOCKED I SAY!

Overall Rating: B+. You know I was LOVING this show before the ending. There were two great matches here, but the ending is the same stuff that has made ratings fall week after week but this is what has been chosen and that’s what we’re going to get. It’ll be Cena vs. Show over the summer and Lesnar vs. lawyers or whatever and Punk/Bryan/Sheamus will be blamed when people stop watching because their 10 minutes a week are the problem, not the 30 minutes the other stuff gets. Great show with a bad ending though.

Results
Christian won a battle royal, last eliminating The Miz
Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger – Trouble in Paradise to Ziggler
Layla b. Beth Phoenix – Layout
Sheamus b. Alberto Del Rio, Chris Jericho and Randy Orton – White Noise to Jericho
Brodus Clay b. The Miz – Splash
Christian b. Cody Rhodes – Killswitch
CM Punk b. Daniel Bryan – Rollup
Ryback b. Camacho – MuscleBuster
John Laurinaitis b. John Cena – Pin after WMD from Big Show

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