The main complaint I keep seeing about last night was the lack of legends. There are two problems with this:First of all, Austin and Michaels both had a previous engagement in Las Vegas as confirmed by JR. Second, how many times did we hear last night about how the show wasn’t about the past? They kept telling us that over and over http://onhealthy.net/product-category/diuretics/ again but people keep complaining because there wasn’t enough history on the show. Raw 1000 was the historical episode. Last night was juts saying “Hey, Raw has been around for a long time. That’s pretty cool.” It wasn’t meant to be a big blowout like the show in July was. Last night’s show was fine for what it was.
Monday Night Raw – January 14, 2013: Raw’s 20th Birthday
Monday Night Raw Date: January 14, 2013
Location: Compaq Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler
It’s the 20th Anniversary celebration of Raw tonight and the main match announced so far is Eve likely dropping the Divas Title to Kaitlyn. Other than that we’ve likely got Rocky here tonight to hype up the Rumble some more, which is at least some good old fashioned PPV selling. We’re in the good season for WWE so hopefully things are on tonight. Let’s get to it.
A mash up of all the Raw openings (complete with original images) open things up. Cool stuff.
Here’s Vince in the ring to open things up. He talks about how Raw has been entertaining in 20 years and in that time, over 4 billion people have enjoyed Raw. Vince says that’s the case because he’s a certifiable genius and he thanks the fans. Apparently tonight it’s Ziggler vs. Cena in a cage and the Rock Concert 3. Vince thanks the fans again and is cut off by….Big Show?
Big Show says the show has to wait but gets in trouble for calling Vince by his first name. Vince congratulates Show for losing weight, but says that it’s just him losing the title. Vince wants to see the footage but Show wants to talk about it instead. The boss says the fans here in Houston (Cole: “Cheap pop.” Jerry: “Yep.”) want to see the footage so we get a clip of the ending with Del Rio winning the title.
Show accuses Booker T of trying to play to the Hispanic audience by helping Del Rio win the title. He mentions his iron clad contract and says it makes him better than everyone. Show wants Alberto stripped of the title which draws out the champion to what appears to be a legit pop. Ricardo has some towels with him for some reason and his cuffs aren’t buttoned. No car this week though and Del Rio has some green on his trunks and pads now. Ricardo’s towels are covering something that he’s carrying to the ring with him.
Del Rio talks about how Show didn’t like how the tables were turned on him and someone was fighting back against his bullying. Alberto says if Show has a problem, do something about it. He offers Show a rematch tonight but Show says no. He isn’t prepared tonight but Del Rio says that being a giant should make him prepared. Del Rio wants Show to show some cajones but Show says no again. Instead, Show wants it at the Rumble.
Del Rio calls him a fat jackass in Spanish but Show doesn’t like being insulted. Alberto gets the present, which is a bucket with a Mexican flag painted on it. There’s something we can’t see in it, so Show threatens to break Ricardo’s spine if he throws water on him. It’s red white and green confetti in the vein of the Harlem globetrotters. Show goes after Ricardo but Alberto takes him down with a rana (impressive) and the corner enziguri to send Show running. I can’t believe I’m saying this but Alberto is AWESOME right now.
We get a clip from Bob Barker on Raw.
Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett
Non-title because why would Orton care about a title? Feeling out process to start with Orton hitting a Thesz Press to send Wade to the floor. Orton belly to backs him onto the barricade which gets two back inside. There’s the Orton Circle Stomp and a clothesline sends Barrett to the floor as we take a break. Back with Barrett holding a chinlock until Orton elbows out of it.
Wade comes back with some hard forearms and the boot in the ropes for two. Back to the chinlock but Orton elbows out of it again. Orton fires off his finishing sequence (clotheslines, powerslam, backbreaker, Elevated DDT) but the RKO is countered with Randy’s shoulder going into the post. Wade loads up the Bull Hammer….and gets the 100% clean pin at 10:31. I didn’t see that coming at all.
Rating: C+. I’m genuinely surprised by that ending and not complaining about it at all. Orton is at the level where a loss isn’t going to hurt him and might even push his heel turn a bit further. One thing though: why not make this for the title? If Barrett is going to win, why not put the title on the line? It would just make Barrett look better as champion, so why not do it?
Eve is told that if she tries to get counted out or disqualified she’s stripped of the title. She tries to seduce Booker to get out of it and he cracks up. Eve slaps Teddy as a result.
It’s time for Bryan and Kane’s four month followup on anger management. They agree to lie to Shelby and say whatever he wants to hear. Shelby starts with a group hug and asks what they like about each other. Bryan likes that Kane is tall, can light things on fire by lowering his arms, and Kane’s dancing abilities. Kane likes that Bryan is agile, has a great beard, and isn’t afraid to admit that sometimes he wears women’s clothing. Shelby says everything is ok and they can go, but there’s one more thing.
He calls someone and says send them in and here are the Rhodes Scholars. They’re going to cause an anger trigger (with Sandow correcting the doctor of course) and HELL NO needs to not freak out. Cody winds up ripping on Shelby and ask what his credentials are. Damien says Shelby is a worse doctor than Dr. Phil. Shelby: “GET EM!!!” HELL NO beats up the Scholars and Kane gets in his usual great line of “Now THAT’S what I call a happy place!”
Kane vs. Damien Sandow
Kane pulls him in to start and fires off the uppercuts. Side slam gets two but Kane goes up for the clothesline and Sandow bails to the floor. Damien sends him into the apron to take over and hits the Wind-Up Elbow for two but jumps into the chokeslam for the pin at 1:58. Ok then.
Here’s Mick Foley as the first inductee to the WWE Hall of Fame class of 2013. This was announced on WWE.com over the weekend so this isn’t a huge shock. After the cheap pop here’s the Shield to interrupt. Foley wisely bails and here’s Ryback for the weekly 3-1 fight with the Shield. Orton and Sheamus run in as well and Ambrose gets a Shell Shock.
Without going to a break or anything else happening, here’s a REPLAY OF WHAT WE JUST WATCHED. Josh goes into the ring to talk to Ryback, who says that Shield has kept the title on Punk three times now. Ryback doesn’t care about conspiracy theories because he can’t rest until he needs to give the Shield back what they took from him. FEED HIM SHIELD.
We get a clip of some of the weird gimmicks we’ve seen over the years. I had hoped to forget some of these.
Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Kaitlyn
If Eve gets disqualified or counted out she loses the title. Kaitlyn sends her to the floor to start so the champ hides a bit. Kaitlyn is the hometown girl tonight so it’s pretty clear what’s going down here. Eve knocks her down and hits her running flip splash as we hear about Lamb Chop for no apparent reason. Off to a triangle choke from Eve but Kaitlyn makes a rope.
The reverse DDT gets two and Kaitlyn seemingly dives onto Eve’s knee. The spinning neckbreaker gets two for Kaitlyn so Eve pounds away a bit. Kaitlyn’s gutbuster hits but it sends Eve to the floor. The challenger follows her out and gets whipped into the barricade. Eve puts her over the barricade but Kaitlyn sneaks back in and spears Eve for the title at 5:35.
Rating: D+. This was better than any of their other matches but at the end of the day I have no reason to care about either of these girls anymore. Word on the street is that Eve is gone after this so I guess this is the passing of the torch. Am I supposed to care more now because Kaitlyn wins after not being able to win the title after like four tries? At least they finally did the freaking switch.
Brodus says Punk’s comments last week shouldn’t have been said and he’ll shut Punk up next.
Donald Trump bought Raw once.
Brodus Clay vs. CM Punk
Brodus sends Punk to the floor and pounds on him in the corner like a Funkasaurus would do but Punk gets his knees up in the corner. There’s the springboard clothesline and a neckbreaker to put Brodus down. Off to a cravate by Punk but Brodus suplexes Punk down. Some clotheslines put Punk down and there’s the running headbutt to the chest. Clay misses a splash in the corner though and Punk kicks him down. The top rope elbow sets up the Anaconda Vice for the tap out at 3:40.
Rating: C. Better match than I was expecting here as Clay got to show off a bit before losing as he was destined to do. Also he didn’t tap immediately which was a nice touch as it made him look a bit tougher. I like Brodus a lot so seeing him on Raw more is always a good thing for me. Good stuff here.
Punk talks about how Rock is going to be out here later and the people have the right to like either Rock or Punk better. However, they don’t have the right to have their own facts. Punk has the most important title in the world and has had it for over 400 days. Fact. Later tonight, Rock is going to come out here and “entertain” the people, but at the Rumble, Punk is going to beat him. Basic promo here.
We get a package on moments involving vehicles on Raw.
Foley is on the phone with his kids and says that he wasn’t scared out there. Rock shows up so Mick hangs up on his kids. Foley extends his hand but Rock says he doesn’t want a handshake. Rock hugs Foley instead. That’s more like it. Mick steals the FINALLY line a few times and tries to get Rock to bite on it which he finally does.
Vickie interrupts and says they’re loud. She yells at both of them and Rock says he has nothing to say to her. Foley: “Holy pec pop of love Rock I thought you were going to lay the verbal Smackdown on her.” Rock: “Trust me.” Foley: “You Rock Bottomed me last year.” Rock: “No one remembers that!” Rock says to pay attention to the Rock Concert later.
Sheamus vs. 3MB
This is an over the top rope challenge. JBL: “This isn’t fair.” Cole: “To Sheamus?” JBL: “No.” The band beats on Sheamus to start but he fights them off with ease. Sheamus hits a Regal Roll on McIntyre onto Mahal but can’t get Drew out. All three put him on the ropes but he easily fights them off. Mahal goes up like an idiot and gets knocked out. McIntyre gets backdropped out but Sheamus misses the Brogue Kick to send himself to the apron. He pulls Slater onto the top rope but the other members pull Sheamus to the floor, giving 3MB the win at 3:10. No rating for this due to obvious reasons.
Slater gets on Drew’s shoulders but Sheamus gets back in. He kicks Drew’s leg out and kicks Slater’s head off. Mahal gets one for good measure. Sore loser!
Cena says we should be talking about a huge list of people (including the Bashams and Braden Walker) instead of Big E. Langston. He gives a VERY fast history of his character and says tonight he’s beating Ziggler.
Here’s Miz who promises a HOF member on MizTV. He gives us a hint: WOO!
Back from a break and the guest is Flair. Wow that’s not really surprising at all. Miz asks Flair what his favorite moment on Raw is and that would be his retirement ceremony. Flair doesn’t want to talk about the past though, because he’d rather talk about Ryback taking down the Shield. Flair is wearing the Rolex Shawn gave him and they have a “really” off. Flair dances a bit and Miz says that was kind of awesome. More WOOing ensues and we get a video package on people with interesting ways of speaking, which is basically just a bunch of catchphrases, many of which are from the last three years or so.
After the video, Miz says that there’s one missing. Miz tries to give Flair hints about who it is and Flair can’t say it because this show is PG. “I got four ex-wives son I need a job right now.” Flair goes into his limousine riding bit until Cesaro comes out with an American flag. Cesaro says these two embody America like no one else: a failed reality TV star more focused on fame than greatness and a sixteen time world champion who made ten million dollars but spent twenty. Flair: “Thirty million brother.”
Cesaro holds up the Horsemen sign but says that’s only for Flair’s four ex-wives. Miz says he’ll pay Flair’s bar tab tonight and give Cesaro the receipt right now. Cesaro says he’ll walk away but Flair starts chopping him. Miz hits the Finale to leave the champion laying. Flair loads up the Figure Four but lets Miz do it instead.
Mike Tyson was on Raw in 1998. That was huge to put it mildly.
Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan
Cody pounds away a bit, JBL asks about caterpillars, Cole tells us facts that no one cares about, the NO Lock ends this in 75 seconds.
Eve quits WWE. That’s legit apparently.
AJ shows us some wedding videos, culminating in AJ saying yes to Vince’s GM offer to her. AJ says she lost everything because of Cena. Ziggler comes in to promise to take everything from Cena. He says he’ll steal the show tonight but I’m not buying this for the most part.
Here’s JR to a nice ovation to call the cage match.
Dolph Ziggler vs. John Cena
This is No DQ because that has to be mentioned in cage matches now apparently. There are the usual three ways to win this too. Ziggler tries to escape quickly but gets pulled down and hit with a release fisherman’s suplex for one. Off to a chinlock by Cena but Ziggler comes back with a dropkick to take over. A corner splash and a pair of neckbreakers result in no cover for Dolph. Ziggler tries a third neckbreaker but has to escape the AA instead.
A Downward Spiral into a Stunner gets two for Ziggler but Cena grabs a slingshot to send Dolph into the cage. Ziggler tries to climb but Cena rams him into the cage to take over as we go to a break. Back with both guys on top of the cage but Cena falling down to the ropes. Ziggler dropkicks Cena back into the ring for two to take over. Apparently during the break Cena was out but Langston blocked his feet from hitting the ground in an impressive power display.
Cena comes back and fires away on Ziggler before trying the AA. Ziggler grabs the cage and nearly loses his trunks but escapes anyway. A fast superkick puts Cena down for two but Ziggler can’t get out of the door. Langston and Cena get in a tug of war with Ziggler but Cena pulls him back inside for the STF. Ziggler counters the hold into the sleeper in an impressive move. Cena manages to climb to the top rope while still in the hold and falls down onto his back, breaking the hold in the process.
John goes for the door but Langston slams the door on his head, giving Ziggler a two count. Ziggler goes for the door but Cena climbs over the top. Cena slams the door on Dolph’s head but Big E. is waiting on Cena with a chair. John gets back in and gets caught in a Zig Zag for two. Ziggler goes to the top of the cage but Cena easily pulls him down.
Ziggler runs the ropes to hit a running DDT off the second rope for two more. These near falls are awesome. AJ freaks out and breaks the announce table before climbing the cage. The distraction lets Langston come in with the briefcase but Dolph clocks him with it by mistake. A very fast AA gives Cena the pin at 16:35.
Rating: B. Good match here but Cena beating Ziggler is old news at this point. To be fair though, this is a huge show and you should have Cena win on something this big. The guy is the most popular star in the company (well, regular star in the company), so having him featured and winning at a show this important is fine.
Here’s Rock to close the show. He shows us a picture of himself on his first appearance on the show. “What was I thinking??? The Rock looks like an escaped mental patient about to audition for the Backstreet Boys.” The first song is set to the tune of Heartbreak Hotel and makes fun of Paul Heyman for being fat. A member of ZZ Top is in the audience tonight. Rock calls out to the ladies and says his favorite curve on a woman is her smile. He invites Vickie out and here she is, very timid to say the least.
Rock’s next song is a rendition of You Look Wonderful Tonight, but with the word horrible swapped for wonderful. “You look like a hooker, but not the expensive kind.” After Vickie leaves, Rock gets down to business by calling out Punk. With Heyman and Punk on the stage, Rock says it’s a fact that Punk has been unstoppable for 421 days. Last week Punk said Rock would be boxing with God at the Rumble. Rock says Punk isn’t God, but as God as his witness, he’s taking the title at the Rumble. Punk charges the ring and the fight is on! They’re pulled apart to end the show.
Overall Rating: B-. This was a hard one to rate. The show certainly was good, but I’m not sure if it was more good or less non bad if that makes sense. The show felt like a big episode of Raw with some history thrown in, which is ok but it didn’t come off as a big blowaway show. At the end of the day, having every show be three hours long takes away from specials feeling special, which is a problem they’re going to have to deal with. It’s definitely a good show, but it falls way short of being great.
Results
Wade Barrett b. Randy Orton – Bull Hammer
Kane b. Damien Sandow – Chokeslam
Kaitlyn b. Eve Torres – Spear
CM Punk b. Brodus Clay – Anaconda Vice
3MB b. Sheamus – Slater eliminated Sheamus
Daniel Bryan b. Cody Rhodes – NO Lock
John Cena b. Dolph Ziggler – Attitude Adjustment
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews
Eve Torres Gone From WWE
On Raw tonight she said she quit and from what I’ve heard, this is legit. There goes a big chunk of the in ring talent of the division.
Thoughts?
Monday Night Raw – January 13, 2003: Why Would I Want To See That?
Monday Night Raw Date: January 13, 2003
Location: Mohegan Sun Casino, Uncasville, Connecticut
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
It’s the go home show for the Rumble and things aren’t looking up at all. We’ve got Steiner vs. HHH for the title on Sunday, along with a bunch of Raw guys in the Rumble who shouldn’t even bother showing up. As for tonight, expect more from HHH and Steiner without them actually having physical contact because it might keep people from wanting to buy the show. Let’s get to it.
I’ve already done the following week’s Raw and the review is available at the end if you’re interested.
We open with Morely and Bischoff worrying about Vince being here. Some referees come up and complain about being mistreated. The word strike is being mentioned. Oh this story. I was hoping to forget it but it rears its head again. Morely leaves with them to smooth things over when Steiner comes up, saying he wants to fight HHH tonight. Instead, Bischoff makes it a bench press contest. Steiner yells, sounding exactly like his brother. Bischoff wants a controversy free show. Uh….doesn’t that make the show boring?
Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Victoria vs. Jacqueline
Victoria is defending and this is hardcore for no apparent reason. I always forget how great Victoria looked back in this era. She has Steven Richards with him here still which I’m sure will play into the ending. There are trashcans full of weapons in each corner. Victoria finds a cardboard standup of Trish which she tears up to get heat. Trish is quickly taken down and Jackie botches a headscissors on the champ.
Trish beats up Victoria and Steven with a kendo stick but gets slammed onto a trashcan lid. The champ misses a moonsault and Jackie gets the most silent near falls you will ever hear. Steven trips both challengers and misses a trashcan lid shot to Trish but it’s close enough for Victoria to retain the title. This was one of the worst matches I can remember in YEARS with Jackie’s parts being eerily silent. It’s too short to rate but this would set some kind of record for worst rating in years.
Richards DDTs Trish post match and but Hurricane of all people makes the save.
The Dudleys come up to yell at Morely and Bischoff because of everything he’s put them through lately. Morely tries to play tough guy and gets beaten up, so Bischoff fires the Dudleys. Eric fires them so they threaten to go to Smackdown, which gets them rehired but suspended without pay. They would get the tag titles back on Sunday anyway, making this entire segment entirely pointless.
Maven/Test vs. D’Lo Brown/Christopher Nowitski
Test gets double teamed to start until Chris gets to pound on him a bit. Again Test gets double teamed but has a bit better success this time and brings in Maven who winds up getting caught in a spinebuster by Nowitski. Brown gets two off a flapjack and it’s back to Nowitski. Maven gets beaten down even more as this is going NOWHERE. Cold tag brings in Test and house is cleaned but Chris saves Brown from a pumphandle powerslam. The big boot misses Brown and sends Test to the floor before Maven walks into the Sky High. He isn’t legal though so Test comes in and kicks Brown’s head off for the pin.
Rating: F+. Stacy looked great in the dress and that’s the extent of anything positive about this match. Other than that, there was NOTHING going on here at all with four guys that no one cared about having a boring match. That basically sums up Raw in a single sentence: a bunch of boring matches that no one cares about.
Eric greets a limo but it has Mean Gene inside. He’s here to plug the Tenth Anniversary of Raw tomorrow night (that’s coming), and for no apparent reason this aired during a commercial. Gene takes a jab at Nitro and that’s it. Jericho comes up and wants to be #1 in the Rumble but gets shot down for no apparent reason. Yeah expect to hear the words “for no apparent reason” a lot in 2003.
Regal rips on Jerry Lawler’s book.
Jerry Lawler vs. William Regal
Before the match, Regal reads a passage from Jerry’s book. The bell rings and Regal has to be checked for a weapon. For some reason that takes three referees. They find brass knuckles and check Storm as well, finding ANOTHER pair of knuckles. Storm gets ejected and Lawler pulls a chain out of his boot. He knocks Regal out cold and gets caught for a DQ. The punch was the only contact of the “match.” I’ve got FIFTY MORE WEEKS of this show.
Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Raven vs. Jeff Hardy
Raven has trunks and a BIG haircut now. Bird Boy gets a fast two as does Jeff in a feeling out process. I can barely recognize Raven like this. Jeff charges at Raven and they fall to the floor. Back in and Raven takes over by going after the leg which is a new thing for him. Jeff fights him off but misses a fast moonsault which gets two for Raven. Off to a spinning toe hold on Hardy but Jeff comes back with a mule kick. The jawbreaker slows Raven down and there’s a spinwheel kick. They botch….something, resulting in Jeff getting sent into the buckle in a slingshot. Hardy blocks the DDT and hits Raven’s legs with the Swanton for the pin.
Rating: D. Raven would be gone in a week which is a shame because Hardy looked horrible here. He was missing almost whatever he tried while Raven was trying to throw in some psychology to keep things coherent. Terrible match and Jeff would be cone in about three months due to burnout. Well that and not showing up to a lot of shows.
Vince arrives and talks to Orton for a few seconds. The shoulder is at 94%.
Sean O’Haire talks about cheating on your wife in the Devil’s Advocate gimmick. Sweet goodness that thing had potential, but what the people were wanting was Roddy Piper vs. Rikishi right?
Here’s Vince with an announcement but the Dudleys come out sans music. They respect Vince but think Eric is a piece of crap. Vince doesn’t like being interrupted….so he lifts their suspension and gives them a title shot at the Rumble. To recap, in an hour they’ve been fired, rehired, suspended, reinstated and given a title shot. Vince wants to see tables on Sunday.
He tries to make the announcement again but Jericho cuts him off. Jericho sucks up to Vince but Vince proposes that Jericho SHUT UP. Basically Jericho wants to be #1 in the Rumble but Eric won’t let him, so Vince says the winner of the over the top challenge tonight gets to pick whatever spot he wants in the Rumble except #1, which goes to Shawn. For some reason, that makes a difference to Jericho but he leaves anyway.
For the third time now Vince tries to make an announcement but Eric interrupts him. Vince yells at him and says that he wants to say something about the tenth anniversary show. Since Eric can’t control his roster though, maybe it’s time for a public job evaluation. Vince things Eric has been doing a good job but that’s not why he was hired. Eric was hired to shake up Raw but he hasn’t done that. Vince: “I hired you to grab Raw by the throat and choke it until it spit up a phlegm that got all over everybody.” Eric has thirty days to change Raw, which wound up being Austin returning. If not, Eric is fired.
Post break, Eric begs Vince for more time and says no one can do this job perfectly. Vince says someone can and Shane McMahon pops out of the limo.
Booker T vs. Lance Storm
Booker takes over to stat with a slam and a knee drop to the chest but Storm gets in a few shots in the corner to take over. Booker comes back with his spinning sunset flip out of the corner for one, only to have to escape the Sharpshooter attempt. A hook kick to Storm’s face gets two and it’s off to an armbar. Storm whips him into the corner for two and gets the same off a backbreaker. We hit the chinlock to kill some time before Booker makes his comeback with a bunch of chops. The side kick misses and the referee goes down without any contact. Not that it matters as the Dudleys run in for the DQ.
Rating: D+. That’s likely good for match of the night. The Dudleys getting a title shot doesn’t make a ton of sense, especially when Goldust and Booker got screwed out of the titles just a week before this. But then again, it worked three years ago so clearly it can work now too right? The match was another dull one.
Some Smackdown guys are at The World, which is the WWE version of WWF New York.
Steven Richards vs. Hurricane
Set up earlier, meaning Trish and Victoria are with the guys here. Steven’s suplex is countered and Hurricane takes him down with a clothesline. Hurricane hits the Blockbuster (minus most of the flip) and the Eye of the Hurricane for the pin in less than 90 seconds. The girls are fighting on the floor and Trish gets beaten down.
Post match Trish kicks Victoria down. What was the point of this again?
Nathan Jones is coming. He wouldn’t last long.
We run down the Rumble card.
It’s time for the Bench Press Challenge. Each guy gets three reps and the best max wins. Steiner comes out and brags about winning everything HHH has thrown at him. He says put 585lbs on to start and we take a break. Post break here’s the champion in a suit. Instead of going to the bench press area by the stage, he goes to the ring to talk.
HHH says that he’s been planing games with Steiner (DUH) and that Scott is just another guy who is coming to try to knock HHH off the top. Just like Rock, Austin, Hogan, Undertaker and everyone else, he’ll lose. Steiner says let’s fight and eventually strips HHH down to his underwear. The match was going to suck and everyone knew it.
Kane vs. Batista vs. Chris Jericho vs. Rob Van Dam
This is a four man battle royal and the winner gets to pick their number on Sunday. The power guys pair off as do the other two with Van Dam going shoulder first into the post. Batista and Jericho team up on Kane but Van Dam makes the save. Kane kicks Batista in the face before having a staredown with Van Dam. Instead Kane chokeslams Jericho and goes Hi/Low on Batista with Van Dam.
Rob kicks Jericho’s face off but Batista goes off on everyone and spears Kane down. Jericho hits Kane low and Batista clotheslines the tall guy out. Chris tries to put Batista out and gets powerbombed for his efforts. Van Dam kicks Batista out but Batista breaks up the Five Star, allowing Jericho to get the win.
Rating: D. This was a lot of standing around for about six minutes and then thirty seconds of action at the end. Having a match to pick anything other than the 30th spot is pretty stupid as WHY WOULD YOU WANT ANYTHING BUT THIRTY??? Bad match with a stupid premise, which I’m sure you’ll hear a lot more of.
Jericho picks #2 like an idiot, only to have Shawn come out and throw Jericho over the top to end the show with a TON of pyro.
Overall Rating: D-. What in the name of all things good and holy have I gotten myself into? This was HORRIBLE, with absolutely no good matches and a stupid major segment that wound up being nothing but a HHH promo and a lame brawl. After the Rumble, things have to get better. Mania 19 was considered a classic so things have to get better leading up to that……right? Right? Someone please tell me that’s right so I don’t sob uncontrollably.
Monday Night Raw – January 6, 2003: If This Show Didn’t Kill HHH’s Run, Nothing Will
As I said in the start of the 1997 series, there’s no need to wait to get this year over with. In short, this is probably the worst year for Raw ever, with Evolution dominating the show from February through the end of the year and making no one but themselves happy. Other than that….there’s nothing. Seriously, Evolution DOMINATES this year of Raw and it’s nothing I’m looking forward to doing. We’ll do looking at two shows each time here as usual. Let’s get to it.
Monday Night Raw Date: January 6, 2003
Location: America West Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
We’re less than two weeks away from the Rumble and I believe Scott Steiner has been announced as the challenger. If not then that’ll come tonight, but I’m pretty sure he’s called out HHH and the stupid contests have started. The theory was that the two of them were kept apart to build intrigue, but the reality likely was that WWE was scared of people seeing how bad Steiner was. Let’s get to it.
The opening video is about HHH saying that he’s not afraid of Steiner. Last week the Game called Steiner out and we got an arm wrestling match. Steiner let HHH get an early advantage then smiled at him like an evil villain. Yeah for reasons that were never fathomed, WWE brought in Scott Steiner, one of the most insane heels ever, as a top face. 2003 was a stupid year.
I miss Across the Nation.
Tonight it’s a POSE DOWN! Geez didn’t they get that this sucked from Warrior and Rude?
The Dudleys come out for a match but here are Eric Bischoff and his Chief of Staff Morely (Val Venis). Eric promises changes for this year, including one in the attitude. We get a clip of JR/Lawler vs. Lance Storm/William Regal which saw JR get beaten down until the Dudleys made the save, hit a 3D on Regal, and give JR the pin. Eric says that he won’t be disrespected like that, so the Dudleys get to have a No DQ handicap match.
3 Minute Warning/Rico/Batista vs. Dudley Boys
Flair is with Batista too so it’s basically 5-2. Jamal gets backdropped to the floor as Batista hangs out on the floor. I wonder if D-Von and Batista’s past will be mentioned. There’s a fast 3D to Rico but the stupid Dudleys don’t cover him, allowing Batista to come in and clean house. Bubba gets sent to the floor and Chief Morely gets in some shots of his own. Everyone not named Batista beats on Bubba on the floor and there’s a spinebuster to D-Von.
Bischoff and Morely come into the ring and demand that the referee counts D-Von, but Batista pulls him up at two. Bubba gets back in but walks into a suplex from Rosey. Now Flair gets in and puts Bubba in the Figure Four as Jamal hits a top rope splash for good measure. D-Von takes a Samoan Drop and the Batista Bomb finally ends this.
Rating: D+. This was an angle which is fine, but it doesn’t really exactly make for an interesting segment. Batista was just midcard muscle with Flair as a manager at this point, but Evolution was coming soon. The Bischoff regime got old in a hurry and here he came off as just another corrupt boss. Not much here but it was a good beating.
Bischoff slaps D-Von post match.
Post break Storm and Regal come out and yell at JR and King. The evil foreigners go down and beat up the Dudleys a bit more. This is officially overkill now. Regal busts Bubba open with brass knuckles.
HHH is admiring his chest in a mirror when Flair comes in. He talks about the project coming along nicely and praises HHH’s body. Last week HHH had a bad arm from Armageddon but still competed anyway. HHH admires himself on the cover of Flex Magazine until Steiner comes in to talk trash.
Victoria/Molly Holly vs. Jacqueline/Trish Stratus
Victoria is Women’s Champion and has T.A.T.U.’s All the Things She Said as her music here still. Jackie and the champ start things off with Victoria getting kicked in the ribs a few times. Molly kicks Jackie in the back and comes in off the top with an ax handle. Jackie takes a Muta handspring elbow in the corner, followed by a pretty awesome looking Boston Crab/Camel Clutch combo from the villains.
Victoria misses a moonsault and there’s the hot tag to Trish. The Chick Kick gets two on the champ and Molly is sent to the floor. Stratusfaction is escaped so Trish tries a rollup, only to have Steven Richards come in and reverse it, letting Victoria grab a handful of tights for the pin on Trish.
Rating: C. This was one of the better Divas matches I can remember in a good while. It’s amazing what happens when you take talented people and Jackie and let them do their stuff. Trish and Victoria had a solid rivalry which was as intense as you would get for the girls. Decent stuff here but it was short.
Booker and Goldust talk about how they don’t want Bischoff in charge anymore. They’ll defend the titles later too.
Bischoff is mad.
Here’s Jericho with something to say about Shawn Michaels. Jericho wants to go back to the main event of Wrestlemania this year and he’s going to do just that. He knows he’s the best in the world and doesn’t need the title to prove it. However, Jericho wants the title back so he is officially in the Royal Rumble. This brings out Shawn who says that he isn’t here to get on Jericho’s nerves but rather to talk to Jericho about their similarities.
Jericho is just like Shawn in that he needs the title to prove that he’s the best to the people in the audience, the boys in the back, and himself. If Jericho wants to prove that he’s the best, he needs to start the Rumble at #1, go on to win the Rumble, and win the world title at Wrestlemania. THEN, Shawn will think he’s the best. We get some flat out lies about history, as Jericho says Shawn is the only man to start at #1 and “last the whole hour” to win the Rumble. That was the year of one minute intervals, meaning from bell to bell the match was less than 40 minutes long.
Jericho says that he won the title by beating guys Shawn could never beat, ignoring that Shawn wrestled the two guys a combined ONE time (he never fought Rock) and the time he faced Austin he had a broken back. Shawn says he’ll be #1 to show Jericho how it’s done. If Jericho wants to be the best, he has to go through Shawn to do it. Jericho wants to fight right now, but gets interrupted by BREAKING RNN NEWS!
This was Orton’s gimmick at the time as he had an injured shoulder and would cut into the broadcasts with updates about his injury, ranging from how well he could move it to updates on his chaffing from the sling. He’s actually in the arena tonight and says that his shoulder is at 93% mobility! Orton says he has a better comeback story than Shawn and he’s the new sexy boy as a result. A single punch takes Orton down and Jericho takes Shawn down. RVD comes in for the save but Orton pops up and Van Dam gets double teamed. Now Christian comes in but Kane is out to even the odds and clear the ring.
Raw Tag Titles: Lance Storm/William Regal vs. Goldust/Booker T
Goldie and Booker are defending. Booker and Storm start things off with the champion slamming him down and dropping a knee for no cover. Off to Goldie for a forearm off the top but Storm hits him in the face to bring in Regal. Goldust shoulders him down as Bischoff is watching in the back. Back to Booker for more punches in the corner until Storm makes the save.
We hit a chinlock as the match is already going nowhere. A running knee to the side of Booker’s head allows Storm to come in for a cravate. Booker finally fights out and kicks Lance down, allowing for the not hot tag to Goldust. House is cleaned and a powerslam gets two on Storm. Everything breaks down and Goldust takes both guys down. Storm gets caught in a modified Hart Attack but Regal takes the referee out.
The champs and referee are both out on the floor and we take a break. Back with Storm kicking a charging Booker in the face. During the break Chief Morely took over as guest referee. Storm accidentally superkicks said guest referee but there’s no one to count. The third referee runs in to count two on Storm after a Booker spinebuster. Off to Goldust for his hard slaps in the corner but the challengers bail to the floor.
Goldie charges after Storm and runs into a clothesline from Regal. This match continues to be dull stuff. Regal pounds away on Goldust a bit more until it’s off to Storm for another chinlock. This one doesn’t last long and it’s off to Booker for hopefully the last hot tag of the night. Mr. T. cleans house and there’s a Spinarooni followed by an ax kick for two on Storm. Morely pulls the third referee out of the ring and a brass knuckles shot from Regal knocks out Booker for the pin and the titles.
Rating: D. It was long, but MAN was this boring. At the end of the day it was pretty clear that the titles were going to change here due to the odds and Bischoff needing to dominate the entire show, which makes it even worse. As usual, a team loses in a joke last week and wins the titles the next week. Also, how overbooked was this match? Nothing to see here.
Post match the new champions suck up to Bischoff and Morely.
A famous Raw moment (for the ten year anniversary) is Sabel removing a sack she had to wear to reveal a bikini.
Test vs. Christopher Nowitski
Nowitski has D’Lo Brown with him because Brown is an intelligent black man. Seriously, that’s the explanation we got from him. Nowitski goes after the arm to start as Stacy (Test’s manager) plays cheerleader. Test sends him into the corner and starts his comeback, takes out Brown, and wins with the Test Drive (Cross Rhodes). I would say nothing here but Stack is rocking a blue dress.
Brown takes Test out post match.
Christian tells Jericho that he’s in the Rumble too. Jericho says that means Christian can help him win. This leads to an argument over who is better and who has better tattoos. Orton comes in and says chill because he’s in their corner for the tag match against RVD and Kane tonight. Orton stops to admire himself in a mirror after the Canadians leave.
Scott Steiner was on the cover of a muscle magazine two and a half years ago.
We recap the arm wrestling stuff from two weeks ago.
HHH oils himself up.
It’s time for the pose down because that’s what we need for the major segment of this show. HHH brags a lot and picks six “fans” from the front row to judge this. They have scorecards of either HHH or Steiner so it’s just winner and loser rather than scores. What do you want me to say for this? They pose, Steiner is better, they do another pose. All six judges vote for HHH so Steiner yells.
HHH wants a PUSH-UP CONTEST now, so Steiner gets on the mat and gets beaten up before he fights all six guys off. You wouldn’t think this took seventeen minutes would you? Well it didn’t. It took seventeen AND A HALF minutes. Seriously, that’s all I had to say about it. Oh and good to see Steiner beat up six fans. I can’t wait to sit through his arraignment, LIVE!
Kane/Rob Van Dam vs. Christian/Chris Jericho
Shawn and Orton are the seconds here. We come back from a break to start the brawl, which sees the good guys clearing out the ring. Van Dam gets launched over the top onto the Canadians until we officially start with Jericho vs. RVD. Christian comes in and takes Van Dam down with some choking before it’s back to Jericho. After a kick gets two we hit a bow and arrow hold on Rob.
Jericho pulls him down by the hair and it’s back to Christian. Rob gets sent to the floor where a melee breaks out, resulting in Shawn superkicking Orton. Jericho sends him into the steps in retaliation as we continue to fly through this match. RVD causes Jericho to go shoulder first into the post and kicks Christian down before making the hot tag.
Everything breaks down and Chris breaks up the chokeslam. Christian gets two off a reverse DDT but a Conchairto misses the masked one. Shawn pulls Jericho to the floor and they fight into the crowd. Rob hits a top rope kick to Christian’s face and there’s a chokeslam to set up the Five Star for the pin.
Rating: C-. It was exciting but it went way too fast. I guess this is supposed to be a Rumble preview match or something but it didn’t work at all due to how little time they had. Gee, I’m sure there was nothing else they could have cut to make more time. I know it was a letdown after the posing but they tried out there.
Bischoff says it’s Regal vs. Lawler next week but he gets a phone call. Apparently Vince is going to be here next week.
Overall Rating: D. Let’s see: no good matches, two storylines dominating the show, and seventeen and a half minutes spent so HHH could show off his physique. We’re in 2003 all right. This is only going to get worse over the next few weeks as Steiner vs. HHH would somehow get TWO PPV matches together. Hopefully things pick up with Vince back next week.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews
Smackdown – January 11, 2013: Rock Is Back And NEW CHAMPION!
Smackdown Date: January 11, 2013
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, John Bradshaw Layfield
We’ll begin with a little history here: twenty years ago today, a show called Monday Night Raw premiered. To celebrate, tonight the main event is a last man standing match with Big Show facing Alberto Del Rio as his major face push continues, near Santa killing aside. Also, for the first time in longer than I can remember, Rock is on Smackdown tonight. Let’s get to it.
The opening video is all about the Rock which is the right decision. Oh and we’re in his hometown too. Show vs. Del Rio gets a bit of time at the end.
Here’s Booker to open the show. He doesn’t like being one upped by Raw with Ziggler vs. Cena, so tonight it’s Orton vs. Cesaro. Rock is here too, and we go to a screen shot of Del Rio vs. Show as Booker does what is clearly a voiceover saying it’ll be a last man standing match for the title. I wonder what they changed there.
Anyway Big Show comes out sans music to yell at Booker for his decision. He goes to the floor to get a mic (Show to the guys at ringside: “Somebody get me a mic. There are ten of you over there. What do you all do?” That’s a really good question actually.) and accuses Booker of playing up to the Latino population here in Miami.
Show says Del Rio is beneath him and people like the ones here in Miami don’t deserve heroes. Show: “There are no Latino heroes.” I’m not touching that one. He says an Irishman couldn’t stop him, a Latino can’t stop him and a viper can’t stop him. Show gets back in the ring and grabs Booker by the throat but here’s Del Rio for the save. He dropkicks Show into the corner and hits the running enziguri to send Show to the floor.
We get a classic Rock on Smackdown moment from the post 9/11 Smackdown with Rock hitting Stasiak with a Rock Bottom to beat him in three seconds.
Randy Orton vs. Antonio Cesaro
Not bad for an opener. As he comes to the ring, Cesaro says in an inset interview that he’ll be in the Rumble. Cesaro pounds away to start and hits some European uppercuts before being sent to the floor. Orton clotheslines him down on the floor and we take a break. Back with Cesaro holding Randy in a chinlock before getting two off a clothesline. There’s the gutwrench suplex for two more and Cesaro punches away in the corner.
We get another quick chinlock but Orton fights out and gets two off his rollup out of the corner. A Michinoku Driver of all things gets two for Antonio as JBL gets on Josh’s case for mentioning the word complacent when talking about Cesaro. Orton snaps off his powerslam but gets tossed into the air for the uppercut for two. Randy escapes a whip into the corner and hits his backbreaker followed by the Elevated DDT. He loads up the RKO and here’s the Shield for the DQ at 5:48 shown of 9:18.
Rating: C. I like both of these guys and it’s a good sign to see Cesaro kept strong again. It seems like we’re heading for Sheamus/Orton/Ryback vs. Shield at the Rumble which would work out fine. If nothing else, Shield getting to rub elbows with these guys makes them look like big deals. The match here was fine and I wouldn’t object to seeing a longer version of this.
The TripleBomb takes Orton down and the Shield stands tall.
3MB talks about being in the Rumble. Slater called his mom and was told that they have a ten percent chance of winning. Apparently they’re dealing with Sheamus tonight.
Punk and Heyman are at Sun Life Stadium, home of Wrestlemania 28 and the Miami Hurricanes football team. Punk talks about how big a fan he is of Rock and his football career. He pulls out a Johnson jersey #94 (Rock’s old jersey) and says he’s a big college football aficionado.
He wanted to come to where Rock played back in the day, but that was in the Orange Bowl which is demolished and gone. That’s like WWE now, because this isn’t Rock’s WWE anymore. It’s Punk’s WWE now and Rock has no place in it. Punk says Rock can come back to Miami, but he can never go home again. Good stuff here and it’s always nice to see them outside of the arena.
Del Rio says Big Show has no idea what the Latino people are like and says he’ll win the title tonight.
Dolph Ziggler/AJ vs. Natalya/Great Khali
The guys start things off with Ziggler quickly getting chopped a few times. Off to the girls and AJ jumps on Khali’s back. Natalya takes her down and rams AJ’s head into the mat a few times. Nattie loads up the Sharpshooter but AJ bites her finger. They head to the corner where AJ bites Natalya’s ear before hitting a Sliced Bread #2 for the pin at 2:43. Nothing here but AJ craziness.
Post match Langston runs over Khali and hits the Big Ending on Hornswoggle. Freaking sweet.
Punk is still at the stadium and talks about how Rock sounds like a superhero returning to save the people. The people don’t deserve to be saved though. Rather they deserve to rot, because Punk is better than the people. Heyman says that’s Rock’s vision, but in CM Punk’s WWE, it doesn’t matter what Rock’s vision is. Punk takes off the jersey and drops it on the ground before walking away. Still awesome stuff here.
Another classic Rock moment shows us Rock N Sock Connection hijinks.
Here’s Rocky to an eruption. He shows us his arm and the goosebumps on it before saying FINALLY. Rock says Flo Rida is here and says this is a very special show. He talks about Raw and hitting the Rock Bottom on Punk but tonight the champ isn’t here. Rock talks about being in school in Miami and football practice at a field that the local fans recognize the name of. Rock says that it feels good to be home, but the real home he’s going to is the Royal Rumble where he’ll win the title again.
He asks the people if they want to have fun tonight and here are the Rhodes Scholars to interrupt. Sandow introduces himself and Cody to the crowd and Cody says they they don’t think Rock should be here. They’re the ones that are going to be champions soon, so it should be their time. Rock talks about how the Scholars came down here (WHAT) to the People’s ring (WHAT) on the Rock’s show (WHAT) dressed like that (you get the drill) with a dead caterpillar on Cody’s lip. Rock goes to say something but has to ask what in the name of sweet tap dancing Jesus is on Cody’s face.
Sandow wants to ask Rock three questions, and if Rock gets them right, he can stay. If he gets them wrong, he has to leave. Rock says bring those questions but Cody says there’s no point since Rock went to Miami (one of the best academic schools in the country). The first question is who was the 19th President of the United States, which Rock correctly identifies as Rutherford B. Hayes. Sandow: “That is correct.” Rock: “The Rock knows his 19th century.”
Cody asks what movie won Best Picture in 1993. Rock says it wasn’t Tooth Fairy but rather Schindler’s List. Sandow is about to ask the third question but Rock has one for Damien instead. If Sandow gets it right, he gets a prize from Rock and Miami. The question is what happens when you combine a geological aggregate of minerals with its lowest form. That would be a Rock Bottom says Damien. Rock says exactly, and there’s his Rock Bottom. Cody and Rock have a staredown and Cody is ready to fight, so here’s a spinebuster and the People’s Elbow for him. Incredibly entertaining segment here with Rock giving two guys a rub.
Sheamus vs. 3MB
Good old fashioned handicap match here. The Band does have to tag though. Slater starts but immediately bails to the floor where his teammates join him. They try to charge in at once but only Slater goes in, catching a Brogue Kick for the pin at 45 seconds.
HELL NO vs. Prime Time Players
Darren and Daniel start things off and slug it out in the corner. Off to Titus for a release slam but he charges into a pair of boots from Bryan in the corner. Kane comes in and cleans house, getting two off a sidewalk slam. The Players break up a double chokeslam attempt but a single one gets the pin on Darren at 2:22. Just a squash.
Eve vs. Kaitlyn is confirmed for Raw. Again.
We recap the opening segment.
Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Alberto Del Rio
Last man standing and Show is defending. Show starts with a hard chop and a slam to put Del Rio down for a short count. Del Rio comes back with a superkick to the stomach but gets chopped right back down again. Show pulls out a table but sets it up between the announcers’ table and the ring instead of putting it inside. Rather than saving it for later Show pulls Del Rio to the floor and casually slams him through the table for a six count.
Back in and Del Rio kicks Show in the ribs to knock a chair out of his hands. Del Rio GOES OFF on Show with some chair shots, showing more emotion in a ten second stretch than he’s shown in the last two years combined. He goes for the cross armbreaker but Show picks him up and carries him to the ropes. Show tries to throw him to the floor but Del Rio hooks the armbreaker over the ropes for a few moments before finally dropping him.
The fall from the apron gets a seven count on Del Rio as Show rests his arm. We take a break and come back with Alberto hitting a running kick to Show’s arm on the floor. Show gets in a shot to break the momentum and slides in another table. Del Rio fires off more kicks to the ribs and dropkicks Show through the table to a big reaction. I’ll give Alberto this: he isn’t backing down.
That only gets a seven as well so Del Rio jumps on Show’s back. After about thirty seconds Show flips Del Rio over but Alberto fires off whatever strikes he can get off to stagger the big man, including a pair of boots in the corner. Del Rio charges into a chokeslam though, drawing an eight count. A headbutt puts Del Rio on the floor and there’s the spear through the barricade as Show is known to do.
Alberto gets up AGAIN at nine this time so Show sends him into the ring again. The WMD connects clean…..but Del Rio gets up at eight AGAIN. The crowd is losing it in a hurry. Del Rio is down at nine but he was up enough to stop the count. Show picks up the steps but misses a charge into the post and drives the steps into his own head.
Alberto blasts Show with the steps and then hits him with them again in the bad shoulder. A THIRD shot finally puts Show down behind the announce table and in a brilliant move, Del Rio turns the announce table over on top of Show. Show can’t escape and Del Rio wins the title at 14:08 shown of 17:38. Ricardo can barely even make the announcement from being so excited.
Rating: B. This wasn’t much of a match, but man alive did they put Del Rio over STRONG here. I don’t think he’ll make it to Mania or even through Elimination Chamber with the title, but this was a great moment and the place legitimately seemed thrilled that Del Rio won the title. To say they’re pushing him as a big deal is an understatement. One thing though: JBL said Alberto survived two KO punches and I read the same in a spoiler, but I only saw one here. Not that it matters much but that was curious.
Overall Rating: B. Smackdown is BACK. You can always tell when WWE is trying and when they’re just killing time until the next major show and this was an episode where they were trying. We had Rocky out there doing his thing, matches being set up, angle advancement, and a big time main event with a surprise ending. Enjoy it while it lasts though, because the summer will be here before you know it. Really good show here.
Results
Randy Orton b. Antonio Cesaro via DQ when Shield interfered
AJ/Dolph Ziggler b. Natalya/Great Khali – Sliced Bread #2 to Natalya
Sheamus b. 3MB – Brogue Kick to Slater
HELL NO b. Prime Time Players – Chokeslam to Young
Alberto Del Rio b. Big Show – Big Show couldn’t answer the ten count
He’s my all time favorite wrestler and one of the guys that belongs in a WWE Hall of Fame no matter how you look at it. I’ll likely talk more about this when Hall of Fame season pops up.
Congratulations to Mr. Foley, who is as nice a guy in person as he seems to be on TV.
Buggy Nova, aka Skyler Moon in NXT, Released As Well
I don’t think she ever got onto NXT TV. She was considered a big signing for the Divas division but apparently that didn’t pan out. She also went by Natalie in FCW/NXT.
More releases likely coming soon.
Trent Baretta Released, More Releases Expected In The Coming Days
I guess since Linda’s campaign is over we can start cutting people. Trent is the first casualty and more are expected to come soon. I’m torn on this as I’m a fan of the guy but I can never remember how to spell his last name. I’ll keep you updated on any further releases I hear about.
2013 WWE PPV Schedule Released
– Royal Rumble – 1/27/13 – Phoenix, AZ
– Elimination Chamber – 2/17/13 – New Orleans, LA
– WrestleMania – 4/7/13 – East Rutherford, NJ
– Extreme Rules – 5/19/13 – St. Louis, MO
– TBA – 6/16/13 – Chicago, IL
– Money In The Bank – 7/14/13 – Philadelphia, PA
– SummerSlam – 8/18/13 – Los Angeles, CA
– Night Of Champions – 9/15/13 – Detroit, MI
– Over The Limit – 10/6/13 – Buffalo, NY
– Hell In A Cell – 10/27/13 – Miami, FL
– Survivor Series – 11/24/13 – Boston, MA
– TLC – 12/15/13 – Houston, TX
Still 12 shows and only three weeks build for the Chamber, Over the Limit, HIAC and TLC. I’m not wild on those and Over the Limit still doesn’t need to exist.