After one of the longest mutual praise segments I’ve ever seen, HHH said yes, but they’re going all the way. The match is HELL IN A CELL. My jaw dropped open.

Thoughts?

Can’t say I’m complaining. How he went in after Koko B. Ware is another story though.

You know, because there’s a lack of heel Divas in the company right? Well at least someone turns heel out of this.

Bragging Rights 2010
Date: October 24, 2010
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Matt Striker

This is the second Bragging Rights show and not something that I’m particularly looking forward to. The elimination match more or less has no point at all on this show as Survivor Series is designed to be a match like that. The world title matches do little for me here but I guess they could be ok. This is just a throwaway PPV if there ever has been one but let’s get to it.

The opening video is exactly what you would expect it to be like.

Striker says seeing someone buried alive is a once in a lifetime experience. I’m pretty sure Taker has had it happen at least twice already. Three times actually.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Daniel Bryan

Standard Vickie intro for Ziggler here. Bryan tries to take it to the mat but Ziggler is fine there also as he was a college wrestler as well. To there floor where Ziggler hides behind Vickie so Daniel just jumps over her. Well that’s one way to do it I guess. Cole is a bit less pesky towards Bryan here. Reverse slam gets two for the IC Champion.

Fans are way behind Bryan here as we get a ton of fat jokes about Vickie. Almost all Ziggler here as this is a solid match although I’m not sure if it’s a PPV level match. The champion vs. champion is good but at the same time, it’s Dolph Ziggler vs. Daniel Bryan. Ziggler hits a semi-FU from his knees which looked wicked.

Lots of mat work here which isn’t what I was expecting but it’s not bad at all. I love the not so subtle jabs at Lawler’s taste in younger ladies. Bryan busts out the kicks and Ziggler is in BIG trouble. We continue the wrestling tradition of not understanding the word literally. Bryan gets a top rope dropkick for a LONG two. Crowd is WAY into this.

Zig Zag is blocked and the kicks continue. Big kick gets two I think as the camera was on Vickie the whole time. Nice job there guys. We head up top for a suplex which is blocked by Bryan into a belly to back which is blocked into a cross body which is reversed into a cover for two for Bryan. Fans chant THIS IS AWESOME and they’re right.

Sleeper is reversed and a double clothesline puts both guys down. Crowd is into every cover here very loudly. Pinfall reversal sequence gets another round of applause but the Zig Zag hits. Dusty Finish occurs as Bryan gets his foot on the ropes. No music though so we keep going. I’ve always wondered what would happen if the referee legit didn’t’ see that happen.

Rope is grabbed as this is getting a lot of time. It’s 8:23 and assuming my stream is up to speed we’re about 20 minutes into this. Ziggler starts yelling at Bryan and walks into the LeBelle Lock for the tap out. VERY good opener.

Rating: A-. This was a very good opener and I liked it a lot. Definitely Bryan’s best match with the company so far and the fans were way into it. I’m considering bumping this up to an A- and I think I will. Some EXCELLENT counters in there but the ending was almost always clear to me which kind of hurts this.

Miz takes credit for teaching Bryan everything he knows and a big argument ensues over who the real captain is. We somehow shift over to a discussion of snacks and beverages which sound good at the moment. Santino says since we’re talking about orders he’ll take some Sun Chips. Dang this is making me hungry. Punk vs. Miz was the main thing here and it was an entertaining segment I thought. Miz has a plan it seems.

And here are Rhodes and McIntyre. Ok then. They cut generic promos and we get an e-mail to major heat. And here’s a bonus match!

Tag Titles: Cody Rhodes/Drew McIntyre vs. David Otunga/John Cena

WOW. Well this isn’t what I was expecting at all. Otunga and Rhodes start us off. It’s so weird to see Cena in a match 35 minutes into the show. The champions (can’t say heels I guess) control to start with very fast tags. Off to Cena who doesn’t want to tag. Cena refuses to tag out so Rhodes can drill him.

LOUD dueling Cena chants with the sucking crowd winning out over the going crowd. Not a very exciting match after the legit surprising announcement. The comeback sequence is initiated as Cena still won’t tag out. Futureshock is avoided but Drew gets a blind tag and Cross Roads are countered into the STF to give Nexus the belts. I don’t think Otunga landed a single punch.

Rating: D+. This was a glorified handicap match. I get that Cena is a far bigger star than either of the champions but to beat them both in just a matter of minutes is a bit of a stretch I think. This wasn’t much but I like them surprising us for a change on PPV. It wasn’t bad and I’m glad it wasn’t on TV, but this wasn’t much.

Cena gives Otunga an FU after the match and leaves with both belts.

We recap the Goldust vs. DiBiase feud which is an added match for the card tonight.

DiBiase is trying to talk to Josh but Maryse rants in French for a bit first. DiBiase says Goldust is weird and he doesn’t like him. That’s a good line actually.

Ted DiBiase vs. Goldust

This is kind of just thrown on the card but that’s fine once in awhile. If nothing else there has been an actual match story built up and now we’re getting a payoff for it. That at times is all you need for success. Crowd is dead but what do you expect? Nice dropkick by DiBiase as we’re talking about the wedding more than the match.

DiBiase hits the falling punch which is always something I’ve liked. Is there more momentum or something there? Cole and Lawler go at it over Lawler’s trophy wives which is rather funny. Cole: Patented Goldust! Lawler: PATENTED? That was funny. Goldie goes for a top rope axe handle and jumps into a dropkick. This has been a somewhat better than Raw match so far.

Dream Street is blocked into a sitout spinebuster, which makes Striker say that Anderson belongs in the Hall of Fame. He’s right. The girls go at it (Joey Styles reference from Striker) as both guys are down. Aksana is crying and gets checked on, allowing DiBiase to drill him with a DDT for the pin.

Rating: D+. Again not bad and the fact that it actually got a build is nice but at the end of the day it was Ted DiBiase vs. Goldust on PPV. It was ok but nothing more really. Not horrible or anything but it’s just kind of an eight minute filler. Granted though it could be better than some other things they could have gone with.

Aksana hits on DiBiase afterwards but it’s a ruse to allow Goldust to drill him and get the belt back.

Divas Title: Layla vs. Natalya

Laycool do jokes about how Minnesotans have stupid accents. Brett Favre joke inserted here which is awesome. Striker: That was Shockmaster bad. Nattie does squats while holding Layla in a vertical suplex. That was awesome. She gets knocked to the floor and may have hit her head, allowing the champion to take over.  Man Layla’s figure is impressive.

Rather boring match so far but not as bad as I was expecting. It’s odd that Nattie can’t beat one of them on her own as fast as she could beat both of them on her own Friday. Layla gets a nice submission hold which is more or less a Rings of Saturn with her legs. Nice one. After a Sharpshooter attempt, there goes Layla with the belt. So much for that as Natalya (I always get an image from Goldeneye when I hear that name) throws her back in. Michelle pops Natalya as she is getting back in and Layla gets the pin.

Rating: D. Boring match here with nothing getting going at all. The ending more or less sucked. As I said I don’t get how they were going to be able to explain Natalya not being able to beat Layla who can’t do much in the ring but isn’t horrible. The lack of failure is mainly for Michelle as she looked good out there. Weak match and just like all over Diva PPV matches.

Ad for Survivor Series which is narrated by Barrett. Apparently at Survivor Series, you’re either Nexus or against us.

Buried Alive is next. Wait what??? At ten after 9? Really?

Matthews does a basic promo from inside the grave.

Same ad that we’ve seen a bunch of times for this match.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Kane

This is the fifth ever Buried Alive match and Taker has been in them all. How many signature matches has this guy had? He’s won one of them, which was a tag match with HHH helping him and Show beat the Rock N Sock Connection I believe. Taker meets him in the aisle and it’s on fast. Big Undertaker chant to start us off.

The fans want BLOOD. Election isn’t for 9 days people. Keep chanting. They’re in the crowd now as there is no point in getting that much into this match yet, given how there’s a guarantee it’s going to get at least twelve minutes or so. All Taker so far as we haven’t been in the ring at all. And for once that’s the right thing to do.

Taker launches some chairs into the ring and Kane is more or less dead. He’s all kind of fired up here. Back into the crowd again as there has been zero attempt at going for the grave. Bearer is here too. I had forgotten about him. Kane gets some chair shots in to get us to even.

Kane gets two chokeslams and the crowd is SILENT. We finally start heading to the gravesite but Taker escapes Kane’s grip. Some boo/yay punches in the aisle. As this THRILLING stuff is going on, it occurs to me how weird it is that Taker is billed as being from California. Finally at the grave and Kane throws dirt in Taker’s eyes to block a chokeslam.

Hell’s Gate from out of nowhere makes Kane tap out next to the grave. Bearer comes up from the hill the grave is on but Kane is tossed into the grave. Taker shoves Bearer’s face into the dirt and sets for a chokeslam. CUE NEXUS! What in the flying heck??? No Cena out there mind you. Kane gets back up out of the grave as the beatdown is on.

The big fried freak hits an urn shot to take down Taker and put him in the grave. Nexus does the burying (odd thing to see Taker being buried by young guys for once no?) but Kane runs them off. A bulldozer (I’m not familiar with construction so it’s probably something else) buries Taker (again) to keep the title on Kane. Ah Lawler says bulldozer too so I’m happy.

Rating: D. Just boring for the most part with a twist at the end. The explanation for this one will be interesting and while no one saw this coming, I’m definitely scratching my head over it. It’s not something I expected in the slightest but it didn’t help the match. This was Taker beating on Kane for 12 minutes, a short comeback, more Taker dominance, then Nexus. I wasn’t impressed at all.

Special effects follow with nothing special.

Orton says he’s not concerned with Cena and will drop him in the middle of the ring if he has to. That’s your main event apparently.

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Raw: Miz (Captain), CM Punk, Sheamus, Santino Marella, Ezekiel Jackson, R-Truth, John Morrison
Smackdown: Big Show (Captain), Rey Mysterio, Jack Swagger, Tyler Reks, Kofi Kingston, Alberto Del Rio, Edge

Matching shirts for everyone here. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Kofi in blue before. Edge’s pyro allegedly messed up but I missed it. Morrison vs. Reks to start us off and remember this is elimination. Striker to Cole: does anyone really care what you think? Striker says Smackdown is now in the dictionary. Granted so is Raw but for a different usage. Why was the show called Raw anyway?

Santino in now to use the Cobra and off goes his head. Reks hits his finisher to go up 7-6. Well that didn’t take long. Jackson in now as Lawler asks why no one tried to help Santino. That’s a very good question. Make that Show vs. Jackson as I like Smackdown’s chances more and more. Off to Rey now who kind of drops the dime for two.

Kofi comes in and gets taken down along with Rey as Sheamus is in now. Sheamus is the biggest star in this match according to the announcers. That might be true actually. Jumping spinning Boom Drop hits Sheamus and the SOS gets two. I’m just waiting on the big old Brogue Kick to take Kofi’s head off though. Ah never mind as it’s the High Cross instead and we’re tied at 6.

Rey vs. Sheamus now. KILL THE MIDGET! KILL HIM NICE AND GOOD! Punk comes in to a HUGE reaction and loud chant. Vince, pay attention to that. Snap powerslam gets two. Lots of tagging by Raw here and we get some actual analysis from Cole as he tells us why Miz is a better captain than Cole, which makes sense. Alberto comes in and has a brief staredown with Rey. And then he throws Rey into the barrier. Show is TICKED!

And Rey is apparently leaving which I don’t think will last. It’s Punk vs. Del Rio at the moment. Swagger and Morrison now as Morrison hits the Flash Kick for two. Rey is still in the match but is in the back for treatment. Sunset flip for Morrison gets two. This is an odd crowd as they go from very hot to very cold. Nice way to see how the crowd views various people.

Ankle lock is reversed and Morrison hits Starship Pain to officially go up 6-5. Reks vs. Morrison now. Striker and Lawler go at it again, this time over Lawler booking his own territory. Reks beats up Sheamus for a bit but the Brogue Kick ENDS him to bring in Show. Smackdown is in big trouble here. SHEAMUS BEATS UP HORNY! SWEET BABY! Show and Sheamus fight up the ramp and both go out via countout. Show sprints back but can’t get in.

Ok so it’s Edge, Alberto and technically Rey vs. Miz, Truth, Morrison, Jackson and Punk. Edge and Truth have a mini match as Truth shouts WHAT’S UP. Spear out of NOWHERE and Truth is out to make it 4-3. Starship Pain misses and SPEAR ends Morrison. Tied up. GTS almost immediately is blocked and an Edge-O-Matic puts Punk down. Big spear chant.

It misses though and here’s Del Rio. Punk’s arm is bandaged heavily so look for the armbreaker. Blocked though as Punk gets a freaking backslide to put him out. Edge and technically Rey vs. Punk, Miz and Jackson. Striker offers to lace his boots up but Cole reminds him Smackdown wants to win in a funny bit. Here’s Rey again as he drills Alberto on the way back to the ring.

Miz comes in and beats on Edge as we wait for the Rey hot tag. Edge vs. Miz now as Edge is in trouble. No mention of Edge and Rey being former tag champions so far. Reality Check to Edge gets two. Rey has tape up past his elbows and white tights. He looks like a mummy almost. Rey gets the tag and a seated senton to Punk. His arm is hurt badly though.

GTS is countered to set up a pinfall reversal sequence for a lot of two counts. Punk is set up in the 619 position. Connection and the springboard splash gets us down to 2-2. Jackson in now and this right here is domination. Striker is playing the home team commentator very well here. Edge is down from the corner as we get a bearhug. Ok scratch that as it’s over in seconds.

There’s Edge’s hand as Jackson is in position but does the smart thing and just stands up. DDT counter by the masked man and there’s no Edge to tag. Please, not a twist by the GM. 619 hits and the splash is semi-botched but it gets Jackson anyway to get us down to 2-1. Edge is STILL on the ground. Something is up. Riley stops the third 619 and blocks the fourth and the splash eats knees for two.

Crowd is into this now and that makes sense I guess. Why get into the parts that mean nothing at all? Skull Crushing Finale is blocked and there’s the hot tag to Edge and the spear gives Smackdown back to back wins! I KEEP THE WZPC TITLE! Striker keeps saying IN YOUR FACE to Lawler. That’s awesome. Cole claims to be Team Smackdown now. Well he’s smart if nothing else. Did I really just say that???

Rating: B-. It was definitely entertaining, that’s for sure. This wasn’t a classic or anything but it did fine for what it was supposed to do. At the end of the day though, what does this really prove? I get the concept of bragging rights but it’s over now and won’t be mentioned for another year. Fun match though.

Raw World Title recap. You know the drill.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett

Cena is with Barrett here and we hear about how Orton might be the last chance to stop the infection known as Nexus. That sounds rather WCW vs. NWOish. Big match intros. Randy looks back and sees…no one coming with him. Ok then. Barrett grabs the microphone and says if he doesn’t win, Cena is fired TONIGHT. Well ok then. That leaves the door open for count out and DQ though.

Barrett hits the floor early after Orton takes over. Loud FIRE CENA chant. You can’t say the crowd isn’t making their voices heard. I know because I can hear them. Barrett gets on Cena for not attacking Orton when he had a chance to. This is the living definition of killing time before the big finish. Almost all Orton so far as Cena keeps avoiding any contact with Orton.

Barrett takes over as this is just boring right now. It’s not bad but we know this means nothing at all as it’s all about Cena and always will be. That’s not his fault but the booking is just kind of stupid here. Orton makes a comeback after about five minutes on the brink of eternity. I need these odd sounding phrases to get me through this.

Elevated DDT is blocked and the referee is bumped. Well you knew that was coming. Barrett yells at Cena to come help while he can. Orton shoves Wade into Cena and down he goes. Cue the other Nexus guys and Orton is in trouble. Striker: guys Wade Barrett is going to be the new WWE Champion.

Cena comes back in and takes out Nexus with Orton adding an RKO to Slater. Cena hits the floor and says he had to do it or you get disqualified. That’s very true actually and good thinking. Wasteland is blocked and here comes Orton.

Elevated DDT connects and Orton dances into the RKO mat slappage of awesomeness. Cena slides in and casually hits an FU on Barrett to give him the win by DQ. NICE. Cena helped Barrett win. He hands the belt to Orton but gets an RKO for his troubles. Yep I was right about the ending. RKO to Barrett and copious posing ends the show.

Rating: D. Boring as heck here but I think the ending works very well. The problem is that it took nearly 20 minutes to get us there. That’s the problem here: this was all about Cena and Barrett with Orton there as a placeholder. And again, this sends us on to the next show rather than giving us anything. As Norcal and I were saying, this doesn’t give us much at all but just sets up the next show. That’s a very bad thing and WWE really needs to get out of that habit, meaning it’ll never happen.

Overall Rating: D-. There is one issue with this show that kills it: NOTHING HAPPENED! Kane still dominates Taker, Cena is still a thorn in Nexus’ side, Orton is still champion, Taker is beaten down by Nexus but is probably gone for awhile (Kane vs. Edge maybe?), Smackdown still has bragging rights, and that’s about it.

Nothing else of note has changed here and there were all of two good matches, both of which are more or less skippable. Oh wait Cena and Otunga are tag champions, which easily could have been done on Raw. Also, is it really intelligent to not, oh I don’t know, SAY YOUR MOST POPULAR GUY WILL BE IN THE RING TONIGHT? The thing is it’s not really that it was awful, but just totally not needed at all. Space out Hell in a Cell and give us a better build to Survivor Series and things would be MUCH better.

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The Attitude Era Raw I’m watching (August 3, 1998, as in the one where Val almost has his Valbowski chopped off) is rated TV PG. Why is it then that the fans freak out when the most popular era ever was rated the same as it is today and what do you think their defense of the ratings being the same would be?

We pretty much have a good idea of what the upper half of Mania looks like at this point.

Raw World Title: Jericho vs. Punk
Smackdown World Title: Sheamus vs. Bryan
Undertaker vs. HHH III
Cena vs. Rock

My take:

I’m worried about this year’s show.  Other than Jericho vs. Punk and maybe Rock vs. Cena, is there any real drama in most of those matches?  The Streak will not end, Sheamus looks pretty much like a lock to win the title, and I’d be pretty surprised if Rock didn’t tap to Cena to end the show.

What do you think of these so far? What do you thing the rest of the card is going to look like?

Elimination Chamber 2012
Date: February 19, 2012
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Jerry Lawler

This is the final stop on the Road to Wrestlemania, or the beginning of the road, depending on how you look at it. The even money would seem to be on both of the champions retaining here but you can never be sure. I mean, Santino is scheduled to be in this match so how sure can you be? Let’s get to it.

The opening video is exactly what you would imagine it is.

The Chamber is lowered.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Jericho vs. R-Truth vs. The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston

Jericho enters last due to winning a match on Raw two weeks ago. Punk and Kofi start us off. Naturally the two faces wrestle as faces. Also they’re not going to use a lot of energy this early in the match. Kofi goes to the ropes but might have slipped a bit. It was nothing bad though. They trade pinfall reversals and Kofi avoids the GTS. Punk avoids the Boom Drop and they go to the outside. Well as to the outside as you can go.

Punk blocks a kick and slingshots Kofi into the pod which has a great thud sound effect. Back into the ring but Punk has hurt his hip. It was probably due to that time when he got slammed out on the chain and landed on his hip, but that’s just speculation. Here’s the first pod opening and it’s…..a guy in pink trunks. The new idea they want to push is that it can go from a one on one match to a triple threat and so on. Great, another thing to have drilled into our heads.

Ziggler goes after Punk and does pullups on the Chamber wall. He splashes Kofi back in the ring and we’re told that pins have to take place in there. Good thing to clarify. A splash attempt on Punk misses and everyone is in some trouble. Punk and Kofi double team Dolph and go to the outside for a double springboard. In a cool looking visual, they both dive at Dolph but collide in the air off the springboards due to Dolph ducking.

Dolph can’t cover though so we open pod #2 after about three minutes. It’s R-Truth who works on the pink one. He’s no Bret Hart. Truth knocks Ziggler over the ropes to send Dolph leg first into the cage. Truth dives on top of him because he’s not that smart all the time. Scissors kick gets two in the ring. Punk does his usual ramming his head into the other guy’s ear to call a spot before superplexing Truth for two.

Trouble in Paradise misses Punk and Kofi gets thrown to the outside. Macho Elbow eliminates Truth but Ziggler grabs a rollup. Punk rolls through it and Kofi hits the kick on Punk (looked SICK). Ziggler goes after Kofi of course but Kofi fights him off. He can only get two on the champ though due to the delay. Kofi does the springboard into the Spider-Man cage grab then hits a tornado DDT Dolph onto the cage, basically knocking him silly.

Here’s Miz in fifth to clean house. Everyone is down now so Miz covers Dolph, getting two. Kofi gets up on the ropes and kicks Miz in the face but is knocked off and crashes into the cage. GTS and Finale are both blocked so Miz hits the short DDT for two. They head to the mat and Punk grabs the Vice on Miz, but wouldn’t you know it, Jericho comes in to break it up before the tap.

Jericho and Punk square off with Jericho in control. Walls and GTS are both blocked but the Lionsault hits for two. Ziggler comes back in and walks into the Codebreaker to get us down to four (Punk, Jericho, Miz, Kofi). Punk catches a Jericho dropkick and catapults Chris out to the cage again. Jericho gets rammed into the pods so he gets a finger into Punk’s eye and hides in the pod. That works for about two seconds as Punk follows him in.

Punk’s arm gets caught in the door and Jericho pulls on it to ram Punk into the pod door. Kofi remembers that he’s alive and tries the SOS on the cage, driving his own head into the cage. Miz and Kofi are the only ones up now but Miz misses the running clothesline and Kingston goes up. A superplex is countered as Punk powerbombs Miz for two. Kofi climbs to the top of the pod and dives onto both of them but can’t pin Miz.

Jericho comes in and Liontames Kofi for the elimination to get us down to three. He beats on Kofi after the elimination and throws him out of the Chamber. Punk kicks Jericho out of the Chamber and he’s unconscious. The referees say he’s done and say he’s not responsive. I’m REALLY not liking them doing this a week after what happened to Sorensen. The cameraman is down too but sits up a few seconds later.

Back in the ring Miz tries the Reality Check but Punk counters with a high kick for two. The running knee and bulldog get two but Punk springboards into the Finale for two. Miz freaks out and talks a lot of trash in the corner but misses a charge, hitting his head on the pod. GTS puts him out at 32:39 and I guess Jericho isn’t running in as a surprise since it’s over.

Rating: C+. The Chamber is one of those matches that gets an automatic higher grade to start. This was one of the weaker ones I can remember. For me the problem is that the main feud in this, Jericho and Punk, has no heat on it and there’s zero reason for this to be in the Chamber. They were the only two that had a chance in this but their feud has just begun with nothing but a run-in by Jericho, a promo and some staring. That’s the problem that these calendar based PPVs present and that looks like how the future will be.

We recap Santino getting his spot in the Chamber.

Santino drinks Raw eggs to Eugene’s music and with a towel that looks like it has the All That logo on it.

Remember those overly long videos on Rock and Cena? Here’s another one, this time on Cena’s training regimen and the gym he goes to. Some developmental guys work out there. This one wastes four minutes of PPV time.

Divas Title: Tamina Snuka vs. Beth Phoenix

Beth is wearing something inspired by Piper. This match could be subtitled “How many times can we remind you that Tamina is Jimmy Snuka’s daughter in a last ditch effort to make you care about her”. Tamina goes up quickly but gets knocked down to the outside. Beth pounds on her and Tamina barely gets back inside. Tamina gets up and hits a Samoan Drop but the Splash is broken up. Superplex gets two for Beth and Tamina chops her down. Superfly Splash gets two. Tamina goes up again but Beth brings her down, sends her into the buckle and the Glam Slam retains the title at 7:00.

Rating: D+. Call me sexist, call me a chauvinist, call me whatever you want, but I’m bored out of my mind every time the Divas are on screen. They’re waiting on Beth vs. Kharma which basically means they’re spending a year putting the whole division on hold, but at the end of the day is anyone going to care? I mean, who is Kharma going to feud with once she beats Beth? The division means nothing and it’s so uninteresting. The US Title can’t get on PPV because we have to see this. Right.

Santino punches some meat.

Jericho can’t talk.

Here’s Ace for his big announcement. He’s the Raw interim GM and he’s heard complaints about Smackdown’s GM Teddy Long. And never mind as here’s Alberto Del Rio! He says Teddy is a dog and likes to play favorites. Alberto wants Ace to be permanent Raw GM and the GM of Smackdown too. That brings out Henry who Cole thought was suspended (wasn’t he on Smackdown this week?).

Henry thinks Teddy is a bully who physically assaulted him. He supports the idea of Ace as permanent GM of both shows. Here’s Christian in a hat. Christian says that Teddy has been negligent and Smackdown is an unsafe working environment. He endorses Ace for GM as well. Ace has a picture taken of all four of them and then a second one. Now one with Otunga in it as well. And that’s that.

Santino runs some steps.

The Chamber is lowered. As in the ambulance match is main eventing ELIMINATION CHAMBER instead of an ELIMINATION CHAMBER.

Big Show says he has to win tonight.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Great Khali vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Santino Marella vs. Wade Barrett

Barrett and Big Show start in the ring. Show runs Barrett over to start but Barrett gets him down for one. They go outside and Show gets rammed into the cage door twice. Wade goes after the knee but Show kicks him off. We get a statement from Lawler saying that if you’re knocked out (like Jericho was) that counts as a submission. Why do I have a feeling this won’t be enforced later? Show wants Bryan as the buzzer goes off but gets Cody instead. Show is standing there waiting on him and things slow down a lot.

Cody gets thrown to the outside while Barrett is thrown back inside. Chokeslam to Barrett is countered and Wade chop blocks Show down. Cody and Barrett team up on Show and start fighting a few seconds later. Santino comes in fourth and after he hits his usual stuff, Show runs him over. Cody takes Show down by the knee though as the fans chant for Santino.

Barrett and Cody double suplex Show onto the steel to put him down. Cody hits the moonsault to Barrett and goes after Santino. No one is out yet. Rhodes rams the Cobra hand into the cage and Khali is in fifth. Chops and clotheslines for both heels and the Punjabi Plunge to Rhodes. One to Barrett as well and a chop to Santino. The giants face off and Show spears Khali for an elimination about 40 seconds after Khali entered.

Show keeps staring at Bryan and then even tries to reach in and grab him. He breaks the chains on the pod and has broken through. Bryan demands the door be opened but Show has broken in and climbed through the top. The place ERUPTS for this. The clock goes off to release Bryan but they’re both inside the pod. Bryan manages to get out but Show does the required breaking the plexiglass spot. You know, THE SAME THING THAT HAPPENS EVERY YEAR.

Into the ring now and Show loads up the right hand. Oh wait it’s the chokeslam instead but Barrett kicks Show in the face before there’s a cover. Santino pops up for a quick rollup for two on Barrett but is then thrown to the outside. Cody hits two Beautiful Disasters to Show followed by a DDT. Barrett hits a middle rope DDT and Big Show is gone to a big reaction. So it’s Cody, Barrett, Bryan and Santino to go.

Make that three as Santino rolls up Cody to pin him. Cody hits Cross Rhodes to Santino. There’s Cody’s next feud I guess. Barrett covers Santino but it only gets two. Barrett hammers on him and ties Santino’s arms in the Chamber wall. The beating continues on Santino for awhile until Bryan gets back up with a flying knee to Barrett. Bryan goes up but Barrett knocks him part of the way into it again by the back of the head.

Barrett loads up Wasteland off the middle rope but Santino breaks it up because he’s an idiot. Santino tries a superplex but gets shoved off. He avoids an elbow and Bryan hits a top rope headbutt, allowing Santino to steal the pin, meaning he’s eliminated Cody Rhodes and Wade Barrett. Bryan is very happy to see what he’s up against as it’s one on one now. It turns into a cat and mouse game and Santino even gets the Cobra for two. The LeBell Lock goes on and Santino taps at 33:57.

Rating: B-. Better match with better drama, but at the end of the day this wasn’t that great. Khali being out quick was fine but I have some real issues with them jobbing out their heels AGAIN for the sake of a one off thing. Barrett was this evil violent and cunning man and he loses to Santino. The same for the longest reigning IC Champion in 8 years. And for what? A pop because they can’t put the freaking US Champion in there? Ok I’m shutting up before I go too long with this. Match was ok, but nothing great.

Here’s Sheamus post match who takes Bryan out.

Time for unfunny comedy with Natalya. Cheese is present. Horny says that jack cheese is his favorite. Jack Swagger gets a cameo with Vickie, prompting a cottage cheese line. Justin Gabriel gets in Jack’s face so Teddy makes our filler match. Jack says that one man should run both shows. Teddy agrees but says it should be him. The match is for the title.

Buy Rock’s new DVD!

US Title: Jack Swagger vs. Justin Gabriel

Please change the title. Swagger controls to start and hits the Vader Bomb for no cover. Gabriel gets in some basic offense but Swagger grabs the ankle lock and wins by submission at 3:00. Of all the matches I’ve ever seen added to a PPV to fill in time, this was one of them.

Undertaker will be on Raw tomorrow.

We recap Cena vs. Kane. Kane wants Cena to embrace the hate, Cena says no. Kane does something bad to Cena to get him to embrace the hate, Cena says no. Kane does something bad to Cena then hurts Ryder to get him to embrace the hate, Cena says no. Kane does something bad to Cena then hurts Ryder then makes Cena make out with a hot woman to get him to embrace the hate, Cena says no. Conclusion? Ambulance match, duh.

John Cena vs. Kane

You win by putting your opponent in the ambulance and having it driven out of the arena. You know Walt Disney was an ambulance driver in World War I when he was about 14. True story. Kane’s broken leg by Henry has been changed into a self imposed exile. Ok then. Cena charges to start and they head to the floor. They fight by the ambulance and use some of the stuff inside it as well.

Back to the ring and Kane goes into the steps but takes over anyway. Kane hits the side slam but Cena ducks the clothesline. He hits some of his signature stuff but the AA is countered into a smother. Cena goes down and is out cold so Kane throws him to the floor. He goes under the ring and pulls out a wheelchair. Well at least he’s making sure Cena is comfortable.

Cena escapes the chair and they fight to the ambulance again. Kane gets slammed into the vehicle and put into the chair. Cena rolls the chair into some production stuff. They fight into the tech area and Cena goes all beast mode. He asks Booker if this gets him a spot in the Fave Five and rams the steps into Kane’s head. John sets up the steps and tries to AA Kane through the table but Kane reverses into a chokeslam through it instead.

Kane goes up to the ambulance and gets a stretcher on wheels. Kane gets him in the ambulance but can’t close the second door. Cena kicks it into Kane’s face and they fight to the cab of the ambulance. John climbs onto the roof of the cab and then on top of the ambulance. They slug it out up there and Cena AA’s Kane off the ambulance into a conveniently placed area we can’t see. At least you couldn’t see the crash pad. He puts Kane in, closes the doors and it’s over at 21:21.

Rating: C+. The match was ok but it wasn’t great at all. Why this finished the show rather than one of the title matches is beyond me, unless something changes after the match. Cena winning was obvious and that’s fine. At least it ends this horrible storyline for good (in theory).

Overall Rating: D. Let’s see. The namesake match didn’t main event the show, the world titles didn’t change, the presumptive Mania matches are exactly what we thought they would be, and Cena wins again. Why exactly did this show exist again? I really didn’t like this one at all and it feels like WWE is being dragged into Mania instead of hitting it head on. They really need to crank things up before the PPV because in my eyes, what they’re doing heading into it isn’t working.

Results
CM Punk b. The Miz, Dolph Ziggler, Kofi Kingston, Chris Jericho and R-Truth – Punk last eliminated The Miz after a GTS
Beth Phoenix b. Tamina Snuka – Glam Slam
Daniel Bryan b. Great Khali, Big Show, Wade Barrett, Cody Rhodes and Santino Marella – Bryan last eliminated Marella with the LeBell Lock
Jack Swagger b. Justin Gabriel – Ankle Lock
John Cena b. Kane – Cena put Kane in the ambulance

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Bryan won, basically making the whole PPV pretty pointless. Sheamus came out post match and laid out Bryan, basically confirming their Mania match.

Thoughts on this?

And they wonder why people think they’re running around like a chicken with its head cut off. Is there some law saying SD can’t main event a PPV?

Punk won the Raw Chamber match, last eliminating Miz. Jericho was knocked out of the cage and “unconscious.” You know, seven days after Sorensen had his neck broken. Not sure I’m ok with that. I’d assume it’s Jericho vs. Punk at Mania.

Thoughts on this?