http://www.ign.com/articles/2013/01/23/wwe-video-game-license-to-be-acquired-by-take-two
This is out of my range of knowledge as the last system I owned was a PS2 and the only video games I play anymore are from before a lot of you were probably born. I have no idea if Take Two is good or if THQ was bad, but apparently they’ve gone out of business so they couldn’t be that good.
Thoughts on this?
This is a big news story lately with even ESPN.com mentioning. As for what I think, Yes it was a bad promo, but Cena has been cutting great ones for years now. He missed on this one and it went on way too far and he could have cut about three minutes out of it and gotten the point (Sunday is a big day and he’s going to war. Why is that so hard for people to get?) across just the same. What wrestling fans’ short attention spans seem to forget is that Cena is one of the best talkers ever. He messed this one up and that’s it. Everyone is entitled to a misstep every once in awhile. Even Rock had some really stupid catchphrases (“Why don’t you go and have a nice cool glass of SHUT UP JUICE?” or “How are your lips?”) every now and then. It’s not the end of the world and it’s certainly not the end of Cena. It was a bad promo and at the moment nothing more than that.
Monday Night Raw
Date: September 8, 2003
Location: Von Braun Center, Huntsville, Alabama
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
This is another request whose reasoning I’m not sure of. Maybe people just like to make me cry. Anyway we’re coming up on Unforgiven in a few weeks which has a main event of Goldberg vs. HHH. In keeping with WWE tradition, the main event tonight is Goldberg/Orton vs. HHH/Flair, because Orton is in Evolution and therefore will make problems for Goldberg. Dig that high quality matchmaking! Let’s get to it.
Kane vs. Rob Van Dam
Kane was recently unmasked and therefore turned heel (granted it’s Kane so who knows why he turned) on his tag partner RVD, setting up this cage match. Instead of THIS taking place on PPV though, we got Shane McMahon vs. Kane because Kane electrocuted Shane’s testicles with jumper cables last week. Kane jumps Rob as soon as he gets in and immediately starts pounding away.
Van Dam gets sent into the cage but comes back with a kick and a flip attack out of the corner. Kane rams him right back into the cage again and crushes Van Dam’s head against the cage with a boot. A side slam puts Rob down for no cover so Kane rams him into the cage again. Van Dam tries a comeback but his stepover kick is countered into a powerslam for no cover again.
Kane loads up a powerbomb but Van Dam punches out of it. Not that it matters much though as Kane clotheslines him down and goes back up top. That goes badly for him as well though as Rob crotches him and crushes him against the cage with a cross body. Somewhere along the way Rob got cut over his eye. The jumping kick from the top rope puts Kane down again and Rolling Thunder hits for no cover. Rob tries to leave but has to kick Kane off the ropes.
Since Van Dam isn’t that bright at times, he tries the Five Star but only hits the mat. Kane loads him up in a powerbomb position but drops Van Dam face first into the cage. Van Dam gets thrown into the cage a few times and after pointing at himself, Kane loads him up for a third ram. Rob gets tossed….and the cage breaks, allowing him to fall to the floor for the win. Well that was unexpected.
Actually it’s so unexpected that before I can rate it, Bischoff comes out and says you have to go over the cage and not out of it to win, so we need to keep going. After a break Kane continues to pound away while talking trash. Apparently during the break Kane slammed the cage on Van Dam’s head to put him in this much trouble. Rob tries to climb and Kane just lets him so RVD kicks him in the face. Van Dam tries to climb up but Kane climbs onto the top rope with him and a kind of chokeslam off said top rope is enough for the pin.
Rating: C-. The match was ok but at the end of the day, unless you’re a wrestling encyclopedia, you’re not likely going to have an idea why this match is happening. JR and King mentioned Kane’s rage, but I don’t think they mentioned the two of them even being partners until a few weeks ago. Also the match itself was pretty one sided for the most part and I’m not sure why it was in a cage in the first place.
Bischoff makes Shane vs. Kane and King/JR vs. Snow/Coach for the commentary position (just go with it) for Unforgiven. For tonight, HHH and Goldberg face each other in a tag match with mystery partners. Hooray!
Lance Storm is worried about being called boring so Goldust tells him to go beat up Rico in front of the Stormtroopers. Storm tries to do the Goldust breath and it’s rather disturbing.
Lance Storm vs. Rico
If nothing else we get to look at Jackie Gayda in a barely there outfit. The idea here is that Storm is boring and trying to find a personality. Rico starts the boring chant before the match so Lance punches him down. Goldust in turn starts a Rico Sucks chant and we’re ready to go. A quick suplex gets two for Lance but Rico comes back with a kick to the face and a clothesline before ripping at Storm’s face. Off to a chinlock for a bit until Storm fights up and starts firing off clotheslines. Jackie tries to get involved and gets kissed by Storm who quickly finishes Rico with a springboard missile dropkick. Short and not terrible here.
Storm and Goldie dance post match.
HHH wants to know who the mystery partners are but Eric won’t say.
Trish Stratus/Jacqueline vs. Molly Holly/Gail Kim
Trish’s team are the faces here and Molly is champion here. She’s in blue tonight and has that short brown hair going on which looks GREAT. Also Gail is looking especially good here in white. Molly and Jackie start things off with the champion getting armdragged a lot. Off to Jackie who gets whipped around as well before an elbow drop gets two. JR gets Jackie and Molly confused because that’s easy to do right?
Molly and Gail hit a double DDT on Jackie for two before Kim takes Jackie’s hand and slaps it against Trish for a tag. Stratus comes in and beats on everyone in sight before hitting a headlock/headscissors combo to Gail and Molly respectively. The heels backdrop Trish to the floor before throwing the carcass back in for the pin.
Rating: D+. The match here was nothing special but I’m really impressed by how good the heels looked. In case you’re missing the point, I’m talking about their looks and not their in ring abilities. It’s WAY better than what we have going on with the modern Divas, but man alive they made few secrets about it being all about sex appeal at this point.
Here’s Austin for the State of Raw Address. How about we state that at this address, Raw will have more wrestling tonight? There’s a podium for him to speak from but Austin throws it to the floor and destroys it because it’s not his style. It takes forever to get to his first announcement, which is that if HHH gets counted out or disqualified, he loses the title. As for Kane, Austin thinks he should be able to beat him up for what Kane did to Shane. However since Austin is Co-GM, he’s not allowed to do that. Austin and his cabinet (his liquor cabinet of course) met and determined this sucks.
This brings out Christian who makes fun of the fact that Austin can’t beat anyone up. He’s tired of being Intercontinental Champion and not getting any respect and after debating the topic for a bit, we get down to the point: Christian wants his own talk show to replace the Highlight Reel. This brings out Jericho to lay out Christian to much praise from Austin. Jericho goes off on Austin for patronizing him and says he wakes up every day and prays that Austin has been fired. Austin says he likes the Highlight Reel and that Jericho can either keep whining or have a beer.
Jericho says that Austin wants to give him a Stunner but he can’t do it. Jericho: “If you want Steve Austin to give me a Stunner, give me a doo-wa-diddy-diddy-dum-diddy-do.” Austin: “That was the stupidest catchphrase I’ve ever heard in the history of Monday Night Raw.” Steve throws Jericho a beer but the Canadian drops it. Austin gives him a very easy throw on the second try in a funny bit but Jericho slaps Austin on the back. That counts as physical provocation so there’s the Stunner. Somehow this took over eighteen minutes. What exactly was said in that amount of time?
La Resistance/Rob Conway/Rodney Mack/Mark Henry vs. Dudley Boys/Hurricane/Rosey
Oh I’m SURE this isn’t going to get all messy. The good guys clean house and Spike is launched onto La Resistance (the tag champions at this point). Hurricane throws in a dive of his own and it’s table time less than a minute into this shindig. They’re only set up on the floor though as we finally start with Rosey and Dupree. The fat man (Rosey) misses a charge but clotheslines Conway and Dupree down with ease because he’s fat.
Off to Spike for his double stomp on Conway but since Spike is the anti-Rosey, Conway gets the tag off to Henry. Picture any match of Henry crushing someone smaller than him for about a minute and you have what you’re getting here. Mark misses a charge and Spike picks….Hurricane for the hot tag? You’re Spike Dudley and you pick the freaking HURRICANE to fight Mark Henry? Conway is brought in as Henry is down on the floor, likely out for months with an injury. Everything breaks down and Conway walks into the 3D for two via a save from Mack as Henry comes back in and powerslams Bubba for the pin.
Rating: D. Yep it was a mess. It amazes me that they’re so strapped for time that they have an 18 minute talking segment and then they have to put ten guys in one match to get them all on TV for that week. There’s nothing here to see other than another quick match tonight with way too many people in one match.
Post match La Resistance picks up Spike and throw him over the top rope and at the table. I say at the table because they don’t throw him far enough and Spike’s head smacks into the table, probably breaking his neck in the process.
Eric makes a 3-2 handicap tables match for the titles at Unforgiven. For those of you not remembering, Eric LOVED tables matches. It was like his version of tag matches for Teddy Long.
HHH talks about Goldberg and plugs a sponsor at the same time.
We run down the Unforgiven card.
Shane is at The World but before he can get anywhere, Bischoff pops up and makes his match with Kane a last man standing match. That means the PPV now has a handicap tables match, a last man standing match, a match for control of Raw’s announcer booth, and a career threatening match. Why would we care about wrestling, right? Oh and another gimmick match would be added later.
Molly and Gail still look hot but now they have an evil idea, whatever that is.
Scott Steiner vs. Steven Richards
Somehow Steiner has a job at this point. He also has Stacy who is his girlfriend/head freak at this point, which would change very soon. This is angle advancement for Steiner vs. Test, the latter of which is at ringside here. Richards tries to jump Steiner to start and gets pounded down in the corner as a result. There’s a clothesline for Richards and it’s push-up time. Richards gets a boot up in the corner but walks into a Downward Spiral for the pin. Nothing match here.
Post match here’s Bischoff AGAIN to make Test vs. Steiner for the PPV with Stacy on the line.
Back from a break and Coach and Snow are in the ring. THIS is what gets the next to last spot on Raw people. Let that sink in for a minute. Coach talks about jobs JR can have after he loses his job soon and we get WWE Humor with faces superimposed over FUNNY pictures. He goads JR to the ring and Coach gets laid out. Lawler shoves Snow to the floor and that’s that. This is happening because Coach and Snow are the Heat commentators and want a promotion. Seriously, THIS is the second big feud on Raw right now. Yet somehow people defend 2003 to me. I don’t get it.
Goldberg/??? vs. HHH/???
Bischoff comes out and talks tough to HHH before bringing out Flair to be HHH’s partner. Goldie’s partner: Randy Orton. Goldberg starts fighting the opponents before Orton gets there before beating up his own partner. We’re not going to get a match here are we? Orton gets in a shot on Goldberg’s knee as HHH says lower the cage again. Bill keeps trying to fight and has all three guys down for a bit, only to walk into a chair shot to the head from HHH. The big beatdown ensues as Goldbeg is bleeding. HHH is legit injured at this point so the Pedigree is basically Goldberg falling and HHH kneeling. A second try closes the show.
Overall Rating: D-. Yet people still defend this nonsense. Let’s look at what we had tonight: a cage match that wasn’t important enough to give a story to, JR/King/Snow/Coach as the second big feud for the PPV, a beatdown to end the show, a 20 minute talking segment that went nowhere, and no good matches in two hours. When the best part of a show might be Molly Holly’s hair, you’ve got major problems.
I’ve already done the September 15, 2003 Raw if you’re interested:
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews
It’s not a spoiler but since people insist on whining about reading news when they come to a site where news is posted, I’ll put it after the break. I’ll even go one up on that and throw in some fake tags. Is THAT enough to make you lunkheads happy?Cesaro is defending against Miz. You knew that was going to be added to the card in some sort.
I posted another of these for I think the year 2012. There isn’t a ton of new information but it’s pretty cool to see. No I didn’t make this.
Royal Rumble 2008
Date: January 27, 2008
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City New York
Attendance: 20,798
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole Jonathan Coachman, Joey Styles, Tazz
We’re in New York City again and there are three main events tonight. We have the usual Rumble and Edge defending the Smackdown Title against Mysterio, but the interesting one here was Orton defending against Jeff Hardy. I don’t know how they did it, but the company did an OUTSTANDING job of making Hardy seem like he had a very real chance of taking the title tonight and shocking the world. I had no idea who was going to win and I LOVED that feeling. Let’s get to it.
The opening video focuses more on the show being in MSG than anything else.
Ric Flair vs. MVP
Flair’s career is on the line but MVP’s US Title isn’t. Flair talks about having his first match here in 1976 but MVP’s music cuts him off. MVP takes him into the corner to start and he’s BALLIN already. Flair goes after the arm for a second before chopping away at the jumpsuit. MVP comes back with a running boot to the head for two before hooking a chinlock. The fans tell MVP that he sucks as he cranks on the chin.
Flair fights up and picks the leg, only to get small packaged for two. A backdrop puts Flair down and there’s a running boot to the face in the corner for three, but Flair has his foot on the rope. You know MSG isn’t buying that one. Flair tries to steal the pin but gets clotheslined down for his efforts instead. A superplex gets two for MVP and a double clothesline puts both guys down. Flair starts trying for some fast pins before slugging away. MVP punches him down and hits a facebuster, but the Playmaker is countered into a quick Figure Four to end this.
Rating: C. This was about what you would expect. At the end of the day, everyone knew Flair wasn’t going to lose this but it was a way to give him one last moment in MSG before retiring in April. I’m not wild on him beating the US Champion clean but the title hasn’t meant anything in years anyway so what difference does it make?
Vince talks to Horny about the Rumble. This is during the “Vince is Hornswoggle’s dad” phase. Vince tells him to not trust Finlay but he has to win. Finlay comes in and takes some offense to Vince telling them not to trust each other.
Mike Adamle is introduced as the newest broadcaster. Oh dear. For those of you that don’t remember him, imagine Cole but with something resembling charm.
We recap Jericho vs. JBL. JBL cost Jericho the title at Armageddon and tonight is the blowoff. JBL brought Jericho’s children into this too, saying Jericho would have to admit to them that he’s a coward. Jericho would use this same line against Shawn soon after this.
Chris Jericho vs. John Bradshaw Layfield
Feeling out process to start with JBL hiding in the corner and ropes a few times. Jericho forearms him down and pounds away but gets sent to the floor. That doesn’t last long as he slides right back in and hooks the Walls but JBL immediately grabs the rope. A baseball slide keeps Jibbles on the floor where he is sent into the steps. Back in and Jericho charges into a hot shot to put both guys down.
A clothesline (not the one from down under) puts Jericho down as apparently he has a bad throat and neck coming into this. Bradshaw slingshots Jericho throat first into the middle rope and hooks a quick sleeper. Jericho fights out of it and hits a clothesline of his own, only to charge into a big boot. John sends him shoulder first into the post which busts his head open somehow. Back in and JBL pounds away at the cut as a villain would do. Jericho comes back but they botch a clothesline, causing both guys to get booed loudly. A Cactus Clothesline sends them to the floor where Jericho cracks JBL with a chair for the LAME DQ.
Rating: D+. This didn’t work at all for the most part. Jericho didn’t work at all as a face with the short hair during this comeback and I think everyone knew it. Thankfully he would turn heel over the summer and have the feud of the year with Shawn. The ending to this sucked and I don’t think they had any other matches after this.
Jericho destroys JBL post match and chokes him with a cord, which is what JBL did to him. That gets Jericho cheered at least.
Santino tells Ashley that Maria won’t do Playboy. Thank goodness he was wrong.
We recap Edge vs. Mysterio. Edge is with Vickie now who just happens to be the corrupt GM. Mysterio won a Beat the Clock challenge by beating Edge himself to earn the shot. Edge is annoyed that Rey is claiming that Edge is just using Vickie, which of course he is.
Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Rey Mysterio
Edge is defending if that’s not clear. Vickie, Hawkins and Ryder are at ringside as well. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. The fans LOUDLY boo Rey and cheer for Edge as Rey kind of messes up a rana. Edge runs him over but Rey speeds things up, causing Edge to panic a bit. Rey gets sent to the floor where Hawkins and Ryder go after him, only to stop when they’re nearly caught. The referee ejects them anyway.
Back in and Rey almost hooks the 619, only to have the champion bail to the floor. Rey is perfectly cool with diving to the floor to take out Edge, drawing boos in a bizarre sequence. Back in and a seated senton gets two for Rey but Edge takes his knee out to take over. Edge pounds away and hooks a half crab for a little while. Rey comes back with kicks to the face to escape and you would think he was choking a kitten from the crowd’s reaction.
Rey loads up the 619 but charges into a powerslam for two. Off to a kind of ankle lock hold but bending the knee instead of the ankle. Edge tries to take the knee brace off of Rey but gets caught in the sitout bulldog to put both guys down. Mysterio uses his good leg to kick Edge in the face for two before hitting another kind of seated senton for two. Like an idiot, Rey goes up and hits a double stomp for two. Smart move on a bad knee Rey. Edge is sent to the floor where Rey slide through the ropes into a tornado DDT for two back inside.
Back in and Edge kicks Rey right in the face to put him down again. Why over complicate things? The spear misses so Rey hits the 619 and the top rope splash, but Vickie pops out of her wheelchair to break up the count. Edge misses another spear and puts himself in 619 position, but Vickie jumps onto the apron to take the hit, allowing Edge to hit the spear for the retaining pin.
Rating: C+. This was ok but you kind of expect more from Edge vs. Rey Mysterio. The ending was about Vickie, which would become a running theme over the next few months. Edge being all conniving and backstabbing the already evil Vickie was awesome stuff, but getting there was tedious at times. Still not a bad match at all though.
Mr. Kennedy is waiting for Flair when he gets out of the shower in a towel. Shawn comes in before anything happens and shakes hands with Flair. Shawn: “Imagine, a loud mouthed platinum blonde with a catchphrase. That gimmick will never work.” Batista comes in (pop), as does HHH (lesser pop). HHH: “I’ve said this a lot of times before Ric, but put your pants on.” It turns into a merchandise plug in a cute bit.
Maria comes out to do the Royal Rumble Kiss Cam. This eats up some time until Ashley comes out to ask Maria to be in Playboy again. Santino comes out to insult the fans (and the Giants), saying the people would cheer if you asked if they wanted hepatitis. He brings out Big Dick Johnson with a rubber chicken and wearing a half Patriots jersey. You can figure this one out for yourself.
WrestleMania ad featuring Mae Young as a lifeguard. Ok then.
Mike Adamle introduces us to the next match, featuring Randy Orton vs. Jeff Harvey.
We recap Hardy vs. Orton, which is based on three simple words: Hardy could win. Apparently this match drew HUGE numbers for the Rumble, which showed why they held out on Hardy winning the belt for nearly a year. Hardy hit a HUGE Swanton off the set on Raw, which made you wonder how far he would go to win here. The video is a mini-history of Orton’s career to this point, which isn’t really a good idea for a heel. This is followed by a music video about Jeff Hardy set to the song Rooftops by the Lost Prophets, which really fits him well. I remember being very excited for the match and this video was a big reason.
Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy
Jeff is Intercontinental Champion. Feeling out process to start with Jeff taking over via a headlock on the mat. An atomic drop gets two but Orton hits him in the face and brags to the crowd about it. Orton gets sent to the floor and a baseball slide sends him into the barricade. Hardy follows with a plancha to the floor as JR SCREAMS to get Orton back in the ring. Randy tries to walk out with the belt but Hardy will have none of that. Orton is rammed into the announce table and back inside we go.
As Hardy tries a springboard, Orton dropkicks him right back to the floor in a big crash. There’s the Orton Stomp and some choking as Orton shows off his wide range of offense. This is before Orton was orange so the visuals aren’t all that bad. A pair of knee drops get two on Hardy as Orton asks the fans if they believe in Jeff still. Hardy sends Orton over the top to the floor, followed by a bad clothesline off the apron (it hit Orton’s arm and completely missed his neck and chest).
Back in again and Jeff misses a charge into the post, giving Orton both a two count and control again. Randy hooks a chinlock with a bodyscissors followed by a powerslam for two. Back to the chinlock (yep it’s an Orton match) to fill in some time. Jeff fights up again and takes Randy down with a clothesline but can’t follow up. Jeff starts striking with everything he’s got and hits the Whisper in the Wind to fire up the crowd even more.
That’s one thing I haven’t talked about enough here: the fans are WAY behind Hardy here. It isn’t the usual New York reaction to a face. They want Jeff to win the title NOW. Hardy hits the slingshot dropkick in the corner but before he can hit the Swanton, Randy bails to the floor. Jeff is cool with that and hits (kind of at least) a moonsault to the floor. Back in and Jeff loads up the Twist but Orton counters into the RKO out of nowhere to retain.
Rating: C+. That’s a really bad finish for a few reasons. First of all, it’s WAY too sudden. If they were shooting at punching the audience in the stomach I guess they accomplished that, but it doesn’t do much else. Hardy winning was an option, but at the end of the day they made the right move here….I think. I was disappointed Hardy won, but thankfully WWE stretched it out for a LONG time before he got the title, which was the right move at the end of the day.
Hardy gets a well deserved standing ovation. His time would come.
We get the Rumble by the Numbers video, which is always a favorite of mine. Here are those numbers:
20 years of history
21 winners
569 superstars in the Rumble
36 eliminations (by Austin, since broken by Shawn)
11 Rumbles for Shawn (since broken by Kane)
11 eliminations for Kane in 2001
3 identities under which Foley entered the Rumble in 1997
2 feet that must touch the ground
1 woman in the Rumble (Chyna, since joined by Beth Phoenix and Kharma)
62:12 of time that Mysterio was in the Rumble
2 seconds that Warlord lasted in the Rumble (since broken by Santino)
3 wins for Austin, still a record
1 is the spot that has the same amount of wins as #30 (Shawn and Undertaker)
4 men that have won the Rumble from the 27 spot, the most ever
73 percent of the Rumble winners have won the title at Wrestlemania
I love that.
Royal Rumble
As introduced by Michael Buffer (only the Fink gets all caps in the Garden), #1 is Undertaker, #2 is Shawn Michaels,. Now how’s THAT for an opening pair? Isn’t it amazing how a RANDOM pairing finishes the match the previous year and opens it this year? 90 second intervals here which seems to be the right amount of time most of the years. Taker powers Shawn around to start and elbows him in the corner.
Shawn gets crotched on the ropes but Taker GOES AIRBORNE with a running boot that misses in the corner. Shawn charges into the grip of Taker as he gets back in but there’s no chokeslam. Taker kicks him in the face instead as Santino is #3. Twenty five seconds later Shawn superkicks him and Taker gets the elimination. Shawn tries to dump him but Taker hangs on and works on the arm.
Old School is countered and Shawn hits an atomic drop as Great Khali is #4. Taker jumps him as he comes in as Shawn is down from something we missed. The big chop puts Taker down as the fans tell Khali he can’t wrestle. They grab each other by the throat but Khali misses a chop and gets eliminated. Shawn never touched Khali but charges at Taker when it’s just the two of them.
Hardcore Holly is #5 and is a tag champion here. Taker slugs Holly down but Shawn tries to dump the big man again. John Morrison, also a tag champion but with Miz instead of Cody Rhodes like Holly, is #6. Morrison looks at Taker and immediately goes after Holly instead. Shawn dumps him to the apron but John gets back in. That winds up being bad for him as he get slammed down by Shawn followed by the top rope elbow.
Shawn tunes up the band but Morrison blocks the kick. Tommy Dreamer is #7 to a big pop and a LOUD Tommy Dreamer chant. #8 is Batista as we get another good blast of energy. Big Dave and Taker knock everyone down (no eliminations) and they stare each other down, only for Dreamer to charge at Batista, earning himself an elimination. Shawn goes after Batista now but Dave spears Morrison down instead.
Hornswoggle is #9 and immediately dives under the ring without ever getting in. Batista and Taker hammer on each other in the corner as Holly clotheslines Shawn to the apron. Chuck Palumbo, a lame biker at this point, is #10. Taker flips Morrison to the apron but he hangs on again. Shawn and Morrison fight on the top rope as Jamie Noble, Palumbo’s enemy at this point, is #11. Noble has taped up ribs so his offense can’t last long. Palumbo dumps him after less than a minute.
At the moment we have Taker, Shawn, Holly, Batista, Palumbo and Morrison in the ring with Horny underneath. #12 is CM Punk as Morrison makes ANOTHER impressive save. Punk is insanely popular in New York of course and fires off running knees in the corner to everyone he sees, only to charge into a clothesline from Undertaker. Morrison, the guy that took the ECW Title from Punk, pounds away on him. Punk takes Palumbo out but gets jumped from behind by Shawn.
Cody Rhodes is #13 before he means anything at all. Yes he’s a tag champion, and yes I stand by what I just said. Cody goes after Punk before shifting over to Taker like an idiot. Umaga is #14 to a decent pop. He spikes Holly out and gets to try on Batista for a bit now. Shawn gets backdropped to the apron but hangs on of course. Snitsky is #15 and badly pounds on everyone at once.
Rhodes jumps on Snitsky’s back and they both head to the apron but no further than that. Taker gets headbutted by Umaga as the ring is starting to get too full. Miz is #16 with those stupid shorts of his. He goes after Punk as Taker tries to put Umaga out. Shelton with his even stupider gold hair of his knocks both Miz and Morrison off the top and onto the ropes but not out, before walking into a superkick from Shawn for the elimination in less than 20 seconds.
Jimmy Snuka of all people is #18 to a HUGE pop. He goes after Morrison as the fans do Snuka’s barking kind of chant. Taker gets a headbutt which staggers the dead man before Snuka goes after Miz. At #19 here’s Roddy Piper to an even BIGGER pop. He takes his shirt off and causes about half the audience to faint before having a showdown with Snuka, which the rest of the match (remember this includes Umaga, Taker and Shawn) stops to watch. Piper pokes Jimmy in the eyes and the match finally picks up a bit.
Kane is in at #20 to hopefully clean out the ring a bit. Yep he knocks out Piper and Snuka before chokeslamming Miz. Taker loads up a chokeslam on Kane but before he grabs the throat, he spins around and grabs Michaels instead. Carlito is in at #21 and spits the apple at Rhodes. Punk and Morrison pick up Carlito but he kicks off the ropes and sends them both into them. Punk kicks Morrison in the head but gets caught by a Backstabber. Cool little sequence there.
Mick Foley is #22 and you know the fans freak out for him. A double arm DDT takes Kane down as Umaga hits a Samoan Drop on Taker. The ring is WAY too full now with Taker, Michaels, Morrison, Batista, Punk, Rhodes, Umaga, Snitsky, Miz, Kane, Carlito, Foley and Horny under the ring. Morrison hits a springboard kick to take Foley down and Kennedy is #23. I’ll say this: the ring has some star power in it.
There’s a Mic Check to Miz and a kick to Taker after he sits up from something. A chokeslam puts Kennedy down and Taker starts beating up everyone. Here’s Big Daddy V at #24. Taker shoves Snitsky out, Shawn superkicks Taker out and Kennedy throws Shawn out. The only question I have from that: why is Taker on his feet after being superkicked? Taker drops a leg on the announce table on Snitsky because he’s a big jerk at times.
Kennedy and Rhodes fight to the apron as Henry is #25. Horny comes out from under the ring and pulls Miz out from the ring for an elimination. Horny goes back under the ring as V is trying to put out Morrison and Kennedy. Chavo is #26 and freshly ECW Champion, thereby making it clear that the ECW Title isn’t a world title. Kane sends Morrison to the apron and then to the floor with a big boot.
Horny comes in again as V and Henry double team him. Finlay runs out ahead of the gun (presumably at #27) and blasts both guys with the club. He and Horny leave through the ropes and don’t return, with the official statement being that Horny was eliminated for leaving and Finlay was disqualified. In the Rumble. Yeah this story was just badly done overall. Elijah Burke (D’Angelo Dinero) is #28.
Chavo dumps Punk after taking his title on Tuesday. That’s just overkill man. Umaga spikes Batista under the ropes and out to the floor. HHH is #29 which leaves a hole at #30. Basically every major star has entered and the announcers aren’t sure who is possibly left. Rhodes, V, Foley and Burke all go out at HHH’s hands before he pounds on Umaga. The countdown begins for #30.
The roof is blown off the Garden, because JOHN CENA is #30. This is shocking as Cena had torn his pec and had announced that he would be gone until Wrestlemania at the earliest. Imagine that: lying about an injury and getting a big response from the crowd. Who would have ever thought of that, and in wrestling of all things? Carlito, Chavo and Henry are all gone in about fifteen seconds before it’s HHH staring Cena down.
We’ve got Cena, HHH, Batista, Kane, Umaga and Kennedy to go. HHH takes Cena down with a spinebuster but walks into a superkick from Umaga. Batista takes Umaga down with the spinebuster and dumps Kennedy to get us down to five. There goes Umaga and we’re down to four. HHH and Batista dump Kane and we’ve got three left. Batista gives the double thumbs down, Cena says you can’t see me and HHH says suck it. Them are fighting catchphrases and it’s on.
Trips and Cena go after Big Dave but he clotheslines them both down. The spinebuster plants Cena and another one takes HHH down. The fans don’t seem thrilled with Batista so they cheer when Cena backdrops him down. HHH clotheslines Batista out and we’re down to HHH vs. Cena.
Since this is New York, the fans hate Cena by default and it’s boo/yay time. Triple H pounds away but walks into the Protobomb and the Shuffle. The finishers are both countered and they clothesline each other down. Cena can’t FU HHH out and gets caught in a DDT. The finishers are countered again until Cena hits the FU on HHH for the elimination and the win.
Rating: C+. It took awhile to get through the bad parts but once Cena’s music hit the place was electric. The fans booing Cena doesn’t surprise me at all because that’s how New York works. Cena would wind up facing Orton at No Way Out for some reason, resulting in a three way at Mania with HHH involved as well.
Cena celebrates to end the show.
Overall Rating: C-. Well it definitely wasn’t terrible but at the end of the day, nothing is really all that good here at all. The best match is probably Hardy vs. Orton and that’s just ok. On the other hand though, nothing is really bad here and you likely won’t be bored with the show. It’s one of those shows where you watch it and other than Cena’s return, you probably won’t remember watching it two days later.
Ratings Comparison
Ric Flair vs. MVP
Original: B-
Redo: C
John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Jericho
Original: D+
Redo: D+
Edge vs. Rey Mysterio
Original: A-
Redo: C+
Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton
Original: C-
Redo: C+
Royal Rumble
Original: C-
Redo: C+
Overall Rating
Original: C+
Redo: C-
Wow the Smackdown title match really changed things around here.
Here’s the original review if you’re interested:
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews
Monday Night Raw
Date: January 21, 2013
Location: HP Pavilion, San Jose, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
It’s the go home show for the Rumble and most of the card is set. My guess is that the Rock will be in the building tonight to further the feud with Punk. Other than that you can expect to see the big deal at the end of the show where everyone is thrown to the floor with one person left standing. Other than that there isn’t likely to be anything new tonight. Let’s get to it.
The Martin Luther King Day video opens things up. Vince never misses this one.
Here are Heyman and Vickie to open the show. Vickie says that it’s her job to make sure everyone has the best time they can at her show. That means she has to do things that are unpopular at times, which includes when it involves The Rock. Heyman says last week Rock insulted him as well as Vickie, who he sucks up to.
We get a clip from the Rock Concert last week with Rock making fun of both of them and Vickie says that if Rock tries to get in here tonight, he’ll be arrested. We’re told that Rock is being stopped from getting in by cops so we cut to the back where Rock cuts a promo on the three cops.
Rock says that instead of arresting him, one should arrest Punk for impersonating a champion, because unlike Manti Te’o who had an imaginary girlfriend, Punk has an imaginary nutsack. Heyman should be arrested for going out without a bra and Vickie should be asked what her insides look like, because her own head is buried inside of her. Rock tries to talk his way into the arena but Vickie says he’s not getting in, if you smell what the Vick is cooking.
Tonight there’s a Beat the Clock Challenge and whoever wins gets to pick their number in the Rumble. The idea is that there will be three matches: whoever wins his fastest gets to pick their Rumble spot.
Beat The Clock Challenge: Randy Orton vs. Antonio Cesaro
Both guys try quick rollups with Cesaro grabbing a headlock to take it to the mat instead. Antonio has the American flag trunks on now as he continues to embrace America. Orton comes back with a Thesz Press but shifts to another cover instead of using the cover that the Press is by definition. Orton punches him down for two and we take a break. Back with Cesaro putting Randy on the top turnbuckle but Orton blocks a superplex and knocks Antonio to the outside.
Orton gets pulled down as well as the clock continues to tick. The gutwrench suplex gets a pair of two’s and we hit a chinlock in a match that is designed to be won as quickly as possible. A slam gets two more for Cesaro as does a double stomp as we hit nine minutes. Back to the chinlock for a bit until Orton fights up and does all of his usual stuff. Cesaro counters the Elevated DDT into a jackknife cover for two and the European uppercut gets the same. Orton is sent shoulder first into the post and falls to the floor as we’re past eleven minutes now. Cesaro comes back in and walks into the RKO for the pin at 11:36.
Rating: C-. The lack of psychology in this match made my head hurt. In a match based around speed, why in the world would you keep going to the floor or putting on chinlocks? The clock idea can get a bit annoying after while but it’ll get even worse later on in the night. The match here wasn’t bad but the psychology was plain stupid at times.
Foley Hall of Fame video.
Shield video/promo talking about how they’ve taken out a lot of people and they’re just getting started.
Big Show vs. Zack Ryder
Brad Maddox jumps in on commentary to further annoy us. WMD ends this in 46 seconds.
Show talks about his second Last Man Standing match with Del Rio at the Rumble. He stands on Ryder’s chest and counts to ten.
Post break Maddox goes to see Heyman again and Heyman actually agrees to help make him famous. Ok then.
Ryback vs. Heath Slater
Back to basics for Ryback here as he mauls Heath and beats up the cohorts before finishing with Shell Shock at 1:11.
Ryback says his job is fun and on Sunday he’s in his first Royal Rumble. He’s made for this kind of match and it’s going to lead him to the main event of Wrestlemania.
Rock is still trying to talk his way around the cops. He says the cops are here to serve the people, not to protect Vickie Guerrero. Rock talks about what an experience it is to see Rock’s entrance and the fans start chanting his name. One of the cop says he had tickets for tonight and his wife and kid are in the crowd. Rock sees an opening and Vickie comes in to say arrest him.
The cops say Rock isn’t breaking any laws but apparently Vickie has the power to have them suspended from the police force. Punk is up next so Vickie offers Rock a chance to get in if he’ll apologize and make it good. Rock says he’s getting in but on his terms, not hers. The other problem is that Vickie still looks horrible tonight. Vickie shoves the cops away and leaves. Rock tells the cops he has an idea.
Here are Punk and Heyman for their weekly talk session. Punk says that he’s been champion 428 days and he’s going to be champion this time next week. He’s looked into the eyes of the Rock and knows that Rock isn’t a champion inside his heart. A long time ago Punk chose honest arrogance while Rock picked all of the people. Rock may be the Brahma Bull and the Great One but he can’t call himself champion. Punk is the man and in six days, Rock is on a collision course with him.
Beat The Clock Challenge: The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler
AJ is looking GREAT tonight. The clock is set at 11:36 so Miz tries for two fast pins but can only get two. They trade pinfall reversals until Ziggler hits a decent dropkick for two. A neckbreaker gets another two on Miz and it’s chinlock time. Miz takes Ziggler down and pounds away as we’re under nine minutes. A kick/knee to the face takes Ziggler down and there’s a chop block to set up the Figure Four. That gets countered because Miz isn’t Flair and Miz is sent to the floor. Langston sends him into the apron which gets two for Ziggler back inside.
We take a break and come back with four minutes left on the clock and Ziggler holding a chinlock. Miz fights up and hits a sunset flip and big boot for two each. Miz goes off on Ziggler in the corner and pounds away before hitting the running clothesline and the top rope ax handle for two. 2:30 left. The Finale is countered into a rollup by Ziggler which is countered into a rollup with trunks for two for Miz.
Ziggler hits the jumping DDT for two and we’re under 2:00. Miz picks the leg and COMPLETELY screws up the Figure Four but an AJ distraction lets Langston pull them to the ropes. Under a minute left and Miz has to avoid a Langston distraction, allowing Ziggler to hit the Zig Zag for the pin at 10:56.
Rating: D+. PLEASE let this be the end of the Figure Four idea for Miz. It doesn’t fit him whatsoever and this whole face push continues to be a disaster for him. Channeling Flair, as in a guy who is a jerk just like Miz, isn’t going to do him any favors either. This didn’t work that well at all and a lot of that is due to Miz. Let him be himself, not Flair.
It’s time for HELL NO’s anger management graduation. Dr. Shelby is running things and apparently his first name is Marion. Apparently they’re his first graduates. This comes complete with caps and gowns, Pomp and Circumstance, and diplomas. Bryan has his hair slicked back and they put their hats on in the ring. They officially graduate and as a final exercise, they have to pick who is valedictorian. Kane says Bryan and Bryan says NO.
Kane says Bryan has never had a problem with shutting his mouth before and an argument breaks out. Shelby snaps and asks them if a hug would make them feel better. The Dr. has an idea: what if EVERYONE hugged at the same time? Kane asks about Lawler and Cole and Shelby says yes them too. Lawler finally does it and now Bryan wants the physician and Justin Roberts to hug. Kane wants three fans to hug. They both tell random fans to hug and then everyone has to hug at once. A jumping group hug ends this.
Kaitlyn vs. Alicia Fox
Kaitlyn takes it to the floor quickly and pounds away as Tamina is looking on in the back. They head inside again and Alicia grabs a quick chinlock. That’s the extent of her offense as Kaitlyn spears her down for the pin at 2:05.
Heyman has secured a sky box for Punk to watch the next segment from. He calls it a Paul Bomb for the Rock.
Here’s Heyman to the ring to act as an interpreter for Punk since most of what he said likely went over the heads of most of the fans. The people seem to think that it’s a foregone conclusion that Punk is losing the title on Sunday because Vince is desperate for someone to defeat Punk for the title. Rock is the flavor of the month this time because Rock should be focusing on Punk but instead he’s singing songs about Heyman and Vickie. This means that Rock is stupid….and he’s also apparently coming to the arena.
He holds up the ticket that presumably the cop had for himself and Heyman bails. Rock thanks the cop for the ticket so Heyman correctly points out that the ticket doesn’t allow Rock to get in the ring. “Shut your mouth Twinkie T***.” Rock looks up at Punk in the box and says that on Sunday he’s winning the title. What it all boils down to is that Rock is going to rip Punk’s face off and there’s nothing Punk can do about it.
Rock invokes Martin Luther King and says that Rock is going to whip Punk all over the place. Next Monday, everyone from Bangkok to Brazil and all the way back around to San Jose is going to say free at last free at last, thank God almighty we are free at last from CM Punk as WWE Champion. Rock finishes it up and there go the lights. They come back up and SHIELD IS ON THE ROCK! They hit the Triple Bomb and leave Rock laying. Punk says that Rock may have a dream, but at some point you have to wake up. Rock is bleeding from the mouth.
We get a video on Martin Luther King. Dang they’re really proud of him tonight aren’t they?
Beat The Clock Challenge: Wade Barrett vs. Sheamus
The time to beat is 10:56. They slug it out to start and Sheamus gets two off a Regal Roll. Ziggler is watching in the back. Barrett rolls to the apron where he guillotines Sheamus to slow him up. Back inside and Barrett clotheslines Sheamus to the floor as we take a break. Back with five minutes left and Barrett kicking Shemus in the ribs. Off to an armbar on Sheamus before Sheamus comes back with running ax handles and a knee lift.
We’re under 4:00 to go and Barrett is dumped to the apron for the ten forearms. A suplex back in gets two on Barrett and we’ve got 3:00 left. Wade escapes White Noise and sends Sheamus’ shoulder into the buckle. A pumphandle slam is escaped but Sheamus misses the Brogue Kick. A kick to the ribs and one to the jaw get a VERY close two. Barret hits a middle rope elbow for two and we’ve got two minutes to go.
Sheamus escapes Wasteland and hits White Noise for no cover. He loads up the Brogue Kick but here are AJ/Dolph/Langston for a distraction. Winds of Change gets another near fall on Sheamus but we’ve only got 18 seconds left. Barrett loads up the forearm but charges into the Brogue Kick. The clock runs out though at 10:56 just as Sheamus covers giving Ziggler the win.
Rating: C. We were pretty much waiting for Ziggler to come out at the end and the question was could Ziggler survive the clock. Ziggler getting to pick his spot is interesting but there’s no reason for him to pick anything other than #30, unless he wants to show off. This was your usual match between these two in a pairing we’ve seen WAY too many times now.
Ziggler and company celebrate in front of Vickie and she says Dolph gets to pick a number, but not any number. It’s either #1 or #2. Ziggler is stunned.
We recap the Shield stuff again and cut to Heyman and Punk smiling in the back. They run into Vince who accuses them of sending Shield out to jump Rock. Vince says that if Shield gets involved on Sunday, there will be consequences. Heyman and Punk protest and point out how many other people Shield has attacked. Vince doesn’t care and says that if Shield interfered, Punk is stripped. Of the title you sick freaks.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Tensai
Tensai takes the champion (non-title here of course) down to start and hits a pair of Vader Bombs before Del Rio comes back with a rana out of the corner and a German suplex. The enziguri in the corner sets up a mostly missed middle rope moonsault for the pin at 1:31.
We get the second inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame: BOB BACKLUND! Awesome choice there and his speech should be interesting to say the least.
Here’s Cena to close the show. He talks about Sunday coming up and usually being a day of rest. Cena talks about people enjoying Sundays and talks to a kid in the crowd who probably plays video games on Sundays. He asks the kid to stop blocking him from getting to the next level on Black Ops 2. Cena mentions a goofy sounding user name before moving on to some chick who apparently enjoys a calm Sunday but winds up with a guy’s phone number in the pocket. The guy happens to be over in the front row and sex jokes are made.
The point to all this rambling is that everyone does different stuff on Sunday and this particular Sunday is about the Royal Rumble where the winner goes to Wrestlemania. The Rumble is going to be a war and Cena says he’ll win the Rumble. His music hits but it’s only 10:58 so here’s Sheamus to offer a rebuttal. He says he’ll repeat what he did last year, but here are the Prime Time Players to say THEY’LL win. Before they can get that far though, Orton makes an appearance and says he’s feeling deja vu.
Before he gets into that, Miz comes out to say his catchphrase but HELL NO comes out to say something as well. You know the real money in this company is making microphones. With them arguing, here’s Cesaro to say HE is winning the Rumble. He dedicates his win to the USA but here are 3MB to say their usual stuff. The rest of the locker room comes out for the required huge brawl before the Rumble. Sheamus throws out about five people and the show ends in chaos.
Overall Rating: B-. I liked tonight’s show. They hyped up the Rumble as well as talking about other things going on in the show. That’s a good go home show and I’m intrigued to see the Rumble on Sunday. Rock vs. Punk will be awesome and while I think I know who is going to win on Sunday (no hints yet as I’m in a predictions contest and I don’t want to give away my brilliance), it’s always a fun show. Good stuff tonight.
Results
Randy Orton b. Antonio Cesar – RKO
Big Show b. Zack Ryder – WMD
Ryback b. Heath Slater – Shell Shock
Dolph Ziggler b. The Miz – Zig Zag
Kaitlyn b. Alicia Fox – Spear
Wade Barrett vs. Sheamus went to a no contest
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews
That’s a big name that’s been left out for awhile. I don’t usually watch the Hall of Fame speeches but his will definitely be an exception. I don’t remember anyone who went from one character to another with such a huge jump like he did in 1994. Good pick here. A little trivia about Backlund for you: he wouldn’t sign autographs for fans unless they could name all of the Presidents of the United States in a row. As a political geek, I could get behind this concept.
Kind of at least.Ziggler won a Beat the Clock challenge tonight but since he made out with AJ in front of Vickie, he has to pick either #1 or #2. Odds are he’ll be in there either about two minutes or close to forty five.
People have been wanting this and now they got it. I didn’t expect they would actually go there but it’s definitely something interesting to see. I still think Rock wins the title on Sunday but they’ve definitely made it more interesting now.