It’s more likely than it was. Check back.

Please?

First and foremost, remember that I likely (as in extremely likely) won’t have a live review up for the Rumble. It’ll probably be later in the week. I’ll get something up on it, if nothing else my thoughts on the winners. On with the preview!I’ll take Bryan to retain.  Him losing seems too easy to be reality.

I have a feeling that it’ll be Ziggler getting the title.  Monday will either be a swerve or Ace will think he’s fired no matter what and will screw Punk no matter what.

For the Rumble itself……the even money is on Orton but I’m going to pick Punk.  No idea how or why, but that’s my instinct.

Any predictions/thoughts?

Royal Rumble 2011
Date: January 30, 2011
Location: TD Bank Garden Arena, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Matt Striker, Jerry Lawler

Well we’ve finally, and I do mean FINALLY arrived. This is the first 40 man Rumble and while I’m still not behind the idea it could be good I guess. There are only 4 matches tonight: the Rumble, a Divas match and the two world titles. It should be fun as WWE has been on a straight up roll recently. Let’s get to it.

Smackdown World Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Edge

Well you can’t say they’re going easy to start. And Edge’s pyro doesn’t go off. Remember that the Spear is banned here and if Edge uses it then Ziggler loses the world title. Vickie comes out to do the intro and tries to start a Spear chant which is kind of funny. We get big match intros too which is always nice. Lawler: “Ziggler is just like Santa Claus. Everywhere he goes he takes that old bag with him.”

Dang Edge goes from winning the match to starting the show the next year. Quite a drop…yet he has a title here. I love logic or whatever you call it in wrestling. Striker is doing a great job of tossing softballs up for King to get good lines off of. Lawler has always been a guy that needs someone to set him up but once he gets a start he’s fine.

Edge controls a lot early on with some basic stuff. We hit the floor and it’s all Edge. Ziggler gets a kick to the side of Edge’s head as they come back in to get his first advantage. Off to a chinlock now as the LET’S GO EDGE chant gets going. Sunset flip is blocked for two. More chinlock and this time a longer version of it. Big elbow drop gets two.

Dolph gets a running charge to send Edge out to the floor and into the barricade. Back in that gets two. Hey look it’s a chinnlock! Edge fights up and a double cross body puts both guys down. Stinger Splash in the corner misses by Zigs. Ziggler gets that Downward Spiral into a Stunner for two. Edge counters the Fameasser into a sitout powerbomb for two.

Uncharacteristically for Edge he goes up top but Ziggler beats him to the punch. Cross body off the top is rolled through for a VERY close two by Ziggler. Dropkick gets two on Edge. Zig Zag is blocked and Edge busts out the Edgecator (modified Sharpshooter) for two. Edge misses a charge at the ropes and the Fameasser hits for two.

Big Boot puts Ziggler down and Edge sets for the Spear in the corner. Vickie like an idiot, yells at him to not do it. Ziggler wants the sleeper but gets caught in the Edgecution but Vickie grabs the referee. She and Edge get into it and Kelly of all people comes out to beat on Vickie. As Edge is watching the catfight a Zig Zag gets two and that more or less seals the ending here.

Dolph gets the sleeper and Edge is fading fast. Oh of course he fights it off. He manages to get a big jawbreaker out of it instead and down goes the referee. Vickie is down as well so there’s the Spear. Edge pulls an Eddie and lays down too. Cole: SOMEONE HAD TO SEE THAT! He’s totally right you know. Edge uses an Unprettier of all things to end it.

Rating: A-. This was a solid back and forth match, but I really don’t like the Spear in there. Striker calls it the Unprettier which is supposed to be the Killswitch I believe? Anyway this was a very good match with Ziggler getting some very close near falls out there. It’s your regular Rumble match that had a challenger who simply wasn’t going to win but Dolph looked great. Very good opener indeed.

Mania is 63 days away! Naturally we have the Chamber in there which is going to take away a lot of that time.

We recap Miz vs. Orton which goes back to Miz cashing in. That’s still sweet and was perfectly done. DEMON CHILD!!! Also Miz beat the heck out of Orton on Raw.

Miz and Riley say Miz will win and insult Boston.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. The Miz

Cole talks throughout the WHOLE entrance and then in the ring he says that this is a big match for Miz. Thanks for clearing up that defending the world title on PPV against one of the biggest stars of all time is a big match. Miz chant to start as it’s all Orton early on. Back in the ring as Orton stomps away and Lawler and Cole get into it as always. I’m still thinking that results in a Mania match which it should. Lawler deserves a match at Mania.

Orton beats him down in the corner and Cole says this is unfair to him. Nice flashback to Heenan in 92. Riley interferes and here comes the Champion. Orton fights back but misses a charge in the corner to give Miz the advantage back. The Miz is a Triple crown winner. Let that sink in for a bit. Ok he kind of is at least. Corner clothesline gets two. More beatdowns and a knee to the ribs get two.

Orton is able to get back in there with a kick and up the ropes we go. Superplex gets two as Cole talks about Riley. Elevated DDT is countered by a backdrop and we hit the floor again. Back in Miz gets two. Miz goes up and a double axe gets two. He throws on a chinlock as it’s all champion here. Back to the floor one more time and Orton eats the post.

He beats the count at 9 and the beating is on again but this time with Orton in control with the Thesz Press. Powerslam sets up the stomping. Orton sets for the powerbomb but Riley distracts him. Miz gets that backbreaker/neckbreaker combo he’s been using lately for two. Angle Slam hits so Miz wants to get the title and leave. Instead Orton kills him with a clothesline.

Since we’re looking at a split screen replay we miss what Miz hits to get two out of nowhere on Orton. Miz misses a kick and Orton grabs a rollup for two. Elevated (called Suspension by Striker which works also) gets two. He sets for the RKO and HERE THEY COME! It’s the New Nexus minus Punk who stare down Orton. As the referee is distracted Riley gets in and in an AWESOME spot, Orton picks up Riley and LAUNCHES him over the referee and onto Nexus. Riley was AIRBORNE! There’s the RKO but Punk runs in with a GTS and Miz retains! Cole jumps up and down like a little girl in celebration.

Rating: B. Good match but definitely not as good as the previous one. The thing is that with a show like the Rumble, everything besides the one big match is pure bonus. The two title matches have been rather good so this show is already looking up. This was very good stuff for the most part here which is pretty much expected. If nothing else it gives us some new direction. Not bad at all here and a pretty good match.

Cody Rhodes gives a prepared statement while we can’t see his face which is always funny.

Divas Title: Natalya vs. Laycool

Just before the match starts we get an E-Mail, making it a fatal fourway and he adds….Eve? Uh…ok. Oh and the GM makes fun of Cole and all the people that complain about him. No tagging here of course. There isn’t much to say here as it’s an insane spot fest for the most part. Natalya gets the double Sharpshooter on Eve and Layla which is a great visual. Layla gets the neckbreaker on Natalya. There isn’t much to say here like AT ALL. Michelle kicks Layla, Eve wins the title with a moonsault. Natalya might have pinned Michelle at the same time.

Rating: D. This was pretty bad overall. It was a mess of a Divas match which is bad as usually they have some good stuff going for them and certainly have been recently. This was bad and it was the epitome of a bridge to the Rumble. Speaking of which, let’s go to that.

Bellas/Gail/Bryan segment. It’s stupid and the same thing from Monday but with the Bellas pretending to be nice with flowers.

Rumble By the Numbers.

Royal Rumble

Punk is #1 to the shock of no one, and to no one else’s shock, Corre has a member in at #2 but they all surround the ring. Punk gets beaten down by everyone until Nexus comes down for the save. Cole gets an E-Mail which says STOP IT! Everyone but Punk has to leave and only Punk is in at the moment. LOUD Punk chant and #2 is Bryan. The IWC just orgasmed loudly.

Bryan speeds things up and takes Punk down with some nice shots. It’s dueling chant time as Bryan hits the top rope dropkick. In at 3 is Gabriel. Gabriel beats Punk up with ease but misses the 450 and Bryan tosses Justin easily. The timing is absurd already as you expected it to. Number 4 is Zach Ryder. He gets both guys down in the corner and manages to get a Rough Ryder on Punk. Bryan throws him out with ease as I hope we’re not going the 95 route.

Regal is in at #5 and he cleans house which isn’t very dirty at this point. Lots of suplexes all around. Regal and Bryan slug it out with European uppercuts which surprisingly Bryan wins despite not being, you know, European. Bryan kicks both guys with ease and we get #6 in the form of Ted DiBiase. Backbreaker for Bryan and dropkicks to him and Regal. Down goes Punk to the following clothesline.

Bryan vs. Regal and DiBiase vs. Punk for awhile which gets us nowhere. Seventh is Morrison to a BIG pop. Springboard kick puts Regal down and Morrison cleans house, including with his eternal rival in Punk. C4 to Bryan. I had Morrison as a dark horse but methinks that’s out the window. He gets thrown by DiBiase but lands on the apron. Morrison gets launched to the railing and GRABS THE WALL like freaking Spiderman, climbs up to the apron, tightrope walks it to the steps and gets back in. Ladies and gentlemen, that is not going to be topped tonight.

Tatsu is #8 and he does nothing at all. Ninth is Husky Harris. Regal went out somewhere in there that I missed when I was dying from Morrison’s wall grab. Harris immediately gets in front of Punk for defense so Morrison and Bryan try to kill him. He’s 23 and the youngest person in this Rumble. That’s rather impressive. We get to ¼ of the way through this with Chavo.

Seven people in there now as Gabriel, Ryder and Regal have been eliminated so far. Three Amigos to DiBiase but Punk cuts him off. And never mind as he takes three of his own. Punk’s get broken up so it’s suplex time to Morrison. Here are some for Bryan as well. He must have done ten suplexes in like 30 seconds. This is kind of cool actually. FINALLY he gets the third in a row.

Number 11 is Mark Henry to clear out some dead weight. There go Chavo and Tatsu. Punk beats Henry down a bit as it’s time for JTG to be #12. This portion of the Rumble brought to you by not Michael Hayes. JTG, Henry, Punk, Harris, DiBiase, Morrison and Bryan in there at the moment. Hey I’ve actually got this up to date! Number 13 is Michael McGillicutty to give Punk some backup.

Punk tells him to HURT EVERYBODY. There goes JTG as we’re getting a bit cluttered here. Granted a lot of that is Henry and the midcard is well represented. Harris and McGillicutty put out DiBiase to make room for Masters at 14. Masterlock to Punk but he can’t get him out as McGillicutty makes the save. Bryan hammers on Masters as #15 is Otunga. That makes four members counting Punk in there at the moment.

Bryan is out almost immediately and Masters joins him soon. Nexus cleans house and gets Morrison out too. Over to Henry now and yep he’s gone too. Just Nexus left in the ring now. Tyler Reks is the sacrificial lamb at #16. How long can he be unknown for? There he goes of course. So are we just waiting on Cena now? I think that’s pretty clear. In at 17 is Kozlov who has history here.

Why not just wait on the floor and wait for like five people to get together to at least have even odds? Vladimir is out with ease. Punk gets all meditational on us and it’s Truth in as the Rumble is now legal. Striker agrees with the whole wait it out. This is a great way to run through some of the weaker guys though. Punk gets the corner clothesline and bulldog. In between, he looks at the camera and raises the roof shouting WHAT’S UP in a sarcastic voice. Funny stuff.

Truth is gone. And here’s trouble in the form of the Great Khali. He chops them all down and gets rid of Harris to break up this blockade. GET BETH PHOENIX STAT! Naturally in next is Mason Ryan (20). India vs. Wales goes to the darker skinned ones until Ryan gets him out. BOOKER FREAKING T IS NUMBER 21!!!!! SCREW YOU MAIN EVENT MAFIA!!!!! Epic pop for him too and Booker looks awesome.

Kicks all around and a Book End to McGillicutty. SPINAROONI! SPINAROONI! OH MY GOODNESS A SPINAROONI! Punk charges but Ryan makes the save. Booker is out but that was insanely awesome. My screen froze on Booker’s eyes bugging out. You knew it was coming. John Cena is in next and the fight is on. He takes everyone down with basic moves and there goes Ryan to a low bridge. Otunga and McGillicutty to a double clothesline and it’s down to Cena and Punk!

Cena charges into a corner elbow but Punk can’t get GTS. Double clothesline puts both men down ala Hogan and Warrior in 1990. Number 23 is…..it’s Hornswoggle. The look on Punk’s face is hilarious. More or less it says “no…..freaking….way.” Punk gets up and drills Horny but goes after Cena instead. FU TO PUNK AND HE’S OUT! Cena is left with Horny as #24 is Tyson Kidd. Headscissors to Kidd by Horny sets up an FU and there he goes. Ok no he doesn’t yet as Horny wants to do it. Horny gives him an FU and there goes Kidd.

Twenty fifth is Slater who takes a low blow from Horny and a super Stunner which actually looked pretty cool. Double You Can’t See Me. Tadpole Splash and there goes Slater. It’s Kofi Kingston at 26 and this could be awesome. Cool moment as they stare down and look at the Mania sign. I totally buy Kofi as a threat to Cena here which is a very good sign. Kofi beats on him a bit but it’s really a standoff. Swagger is 27^th and takes down the weakened guys.

Vader Bomb to Cena and one for Kofi as well. And now….dude go for the midget already. Swagger goes after Horny but Kofi kills Jack with a cross body. Double Boom Drop as Horny is a bridge for Kofi to jump off of. 28 is SHEAMUS. Oh yes. This guy is a, and I will never ever say this again, a dark horse to win this. Sheamus cleans house and goes after Horny. Cena saves him AGAIN and it’s another Tadpole Splash coming. Never mind actually as Sheamus KICKS HIM IN THE HEAD to eliminate him.

Rey is #29. We have Kofi, Cena, Swagger, Sheamus and Rey in there at the moment. Trouble in Paradise to Sheamus but Swagger takes him down. Rey was on the corner and Swagger tries the running belly to belly. Rey ducks and knocks him to the apron and a 619 takes him out. Barrett is 30 as this is FLYING by. Wasteland to Kofi is blocked by a kick to the knee by Rey.

Cena vs. Barrett goes to Wade in the form of a Boss Man Slam. That could so be a finisher for someone. Maybe Ryan? The first #31 in history is Dolph Ziggler??? Oh snap man, that could be a shock. He hammers away on Sheamus as Barrett is in trouble. Dolph, Sheamus, Barrett, Kofi, Cena and Rey at the moment. Cena is in trouble and the crowd reacts BIG.

32 is DIESEL???? WOW! The crowd pops HUGE. I can’t get used to hearing him called Diesel. Drew is 33^rd. Nash looks kind of awesome in there. Drew and Sheamus hammer down Diesel who is all of a sudden getting a HUGE chant! Dude sign this guy up! 619 to Diesel which I can’t believe I just typed.

34^th is….the Miz??? Oh wait it’s Riley. He slides in and Cena just drills him. Striker got cut off mid sentence in a laugh. Barrett puts Diesel out. ANOTHER big Diesel chant as he leaves. Miz sits in on commentary for a bit. Big Show is number 35 and it’s time to clear out some guys. Show and Diesel look at each other. Oh man there’s some history there. The Celts jump Show as he comes in which doesn’t go well for the UK guys.

Miz sounds like he has a cold. There goes Ziggler at the hands of Show. I want to know who #40 is. 36 is Big Zeke. Uh oh. Show puts Drew out. Zeke puts Show down and OUT on his own! There are four entrants left. Who isn’t out here yet? Rey, Zeke, Cena, Kofi, Barrett and Sheamus at the moment. Santino is 37^th and gets a solid pop. He goes right at Sheamus of all people. And now he goes for Zeke who growls at him.

Santino gets knocked to the floor under the bottom rope. Alberto is 38 and I completely forgot about him. Ricardo does the intro! No one else has gotten an intro but no one else is Alberto Del Rio. Del Rio takes his sweet time and isn’t in before Orton is 39^th. ONE MORE TO GO! RKO to everyone and there goes Kofi. Sheamus is out too as is Drew. And then, it’s Cena vs. Orton. The crowd just went SILENT and in the awesome way I mean.

They stare it down with the Mania sign between them and there’s the clock. And it’s Kane. Uh, kind of anti-climactic but ok. So it’s Kane, Cena, Orton, Santino, Rey, Del Rio and I think that’s it. I likely left someone out though. Oh and Zeke and Barrett. Zeke beats up Kane with relative ease after Kane cleans some house. There goes Zeke. Ok now we’re down to Barrett, Kane, Cena, Orton, Rey and Del Rio. Kane is put out by Rey! Barrett puts out Rey! I LOVE YOU BARRETT!!!

Final four are Barrett, Orton, Cena and Del Rio. Cena and Del Rio are in trouble but both hang on. Randy and John (sounds weird calling it that) stare it down again to another hush. There they go with the punches. Both finishers miss as FU is broken up by Barrett for no apparent reason. Maybe he’s the new Corre member? Del Rio vs. Cena and Barrett vs. Orton at this point.

FU to Del Rio but here comes Riley again for no adequately explained reason. MIZ ELIMINATES CENA!!! LET THE INTERNET ERUPT!!! Dang it not Orton again. Is Santino still in? Orton busts out a bunch of his basic stuff and there goes Barrett! DEL RIO PUTS OUT ORTON TO WIN THE ROYAL RUMBLE!!! Wait Santino is back! COBRA!!! THEY WOULDN’T!!!!! Oh thank goodness Del Rio threw him out to officially end it.

Rating: A. I was wrong. I thought this would be overblown but it felt more epic this way. HUGE props to WWE for putting someone new in there. That is absolutely huge for WWE as they are actually giving someone the huge push and the momentum to do it with. He’s a glorified midcarder and he won. This is exactly what they needed to do with this and it worked wonderfully. Mania has matches set up for it now and we got some great surprises. Epic Rumble although maybe just a step beneath next year. GREAT ending though.

Overall Rating: A. This was a great show indeed. The Divas match was the only bad thing all night and on a card with four matches you can’t argue that in the slightest. They’re setting Mania up very early this year and that’s nothing but good. This was a great show as WWE now has two big wins in a row. I’m freaking pumped up for Mania now as this was great stuff indeed. Loved it and bring on Elimination Chamber baby!

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Smackdown
Date: January 27, 2012
Location: Tucson Arena, Tucson, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

It’s the final show before the Rumble so we have to have some build for it tonight right? This year it seems that they’re focusing more on the regular matches and letting the Rumble build itself. That’s an unconventional idea but it’s not the worst in the world. The Rumble will draw on the fact that it’s the Rumble so why not let everything else get built up too? Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of AJ getting run over two weeks ago.

Here’s Big Show for the first time since that incident happened. He says he’s sorry for what happened and has already apologized to AJ in person which she accepted. Now he’s asking the fans to do the same. He can’t forgive himself for what happened though. Even when he was a kid he didn’t know his own strength and would hurt other kids when they were playing. He thought that being in WWE would change that and he wouldn’t hurt someone like that again.

Show loves it here but he’s not sure if he can continue his career after hurting AJ. After Sunday, he’s going to have to do some soul searching. He’s cut off by Daniel Bryan who doesn’t have the title for some reason. Bryan yells at Big Show and says that AJ doesn’t remember Show visiting due to the medication. Bryan remembers though.

He remembers watching as a kid and thinking it was a place for athletes, not genetic freaks. And before Show mentions Andre, just save it because he’s no Andre the Giant. Bryan goes off on him, yelling about how Show is a monster and there’s no way he’s going to retire or anything like that. Bryan slaps him and Show snaps, choking him into the corner and tossing Bryan across the ring. Here’s Henry to remind us that it’s a triple threat match on Sunday. He doesn’t care about Show’s feelings or Bryan’s Napoleon Complex. As for Bryan, he’s going to tear his skin off on general principle for what Bryan did last week.

Teddy stops the skin removal and makes a second main event (first is Barrett vs. Orton) in the form of Henry vs. Big Show. That’s a good choice actually as it means that every combination of the three have fought over the last three weeks, which is what Teddy said when he made it.

Cody Rhodes vs. Justin Gabriel

Non-title match. A quick inset interview from Cody says he’s doing this so Gabriel can tell his grandkids that he lost to the man that headlined Wrestlemania. A quick spin kick gets two for Gabriel. A quick Alabama Slam gets two for the champ. Booker wants to know why this isn’t for the title. Gabriel gets in a few kicks and a flying forearm. Out to the floor and Justin hits a dive. Back in and a springboard cross body is rolled through for two. A top rope Lionsault misses though, setting up the Beautiful Disaster and Cross Rhodes for the pin at 2:10.

Santino is in the back with Teddy and has a new match idea. It’s a loser leaves town match, but the loser has to join a group of monkeys and get in a spaceship and fly away from Earth. Yoshi Tatsu pops up and says that’s out of this world. They talk about a tag team but can’t decide if it’s called Yoshtino or Santoshi. Drew comes in and begs for one more chance. He talks about how Babe Ruth struck out five times in a game once. This is just a slump. Teddy says go break your slump against Sheamus.

Drew McIntyre vs. Sheamus

Big reaction for Sheamus. They pound away on each other to start until Sheamus hits that rolling fireman’s carry that Anderson and Finlay used. Drew comes back with a northern lights suplex for two. He works on the arm and a snap suplex gets two. A kick to the back just ticks Sheamus off. He pounds Drew down in the corner and hits his running axe handle shots. Brogue Kick finishes Drew off at 2:48. Sheamus needs a real feud (as in not against Mahal) for after the Rumble. These squashes are only going to take him so far.

Rumble by the Numbers.

Yoshi Tatsu/Santino Marella vs. Epico/Primo

It’s better than nothing to get Yoshi on TV I guess. Santino and Primo start things off and of course it’s a comedy match. Off to Yoshi who works on the arm. Cole goes on a big rant about the language issues in this match as Epico comes in and takes over on Yoshi. Backslide gets two for Yoshi and it’s off to Santino again. He takes over with his usual stuff and everything breaks down. Cobra takes out Primo but the Backstabber takes down Santino so Epico can pin him at 2:16. These matches have been short tonight but they’re long enough that you get something out of them. That’s a very good way to run a TV show.

Bryan gets in Henry’s ear and says that Teddy obviously wants Show to be champion. Henry should hurt Big Show tonight. He seems intrigued by the idea.

Here’s Wade for his match with Orton. He talks about how there’s a lot of pageantry to show tonight because Orton is returning. Barrett has heard that Orton isn’t healthy yet. Oh his back might be ok but he’s a broken man. We get a clip from last month where Orton was injured. Orton’s music hits and we get a full walk from the back from him.

Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton

They start in the aisle and the referee just lets them go. I never heard a bell. A bunch of referees come out to stop Randy and Barrett tries to leave. Teddy comes out and sends the NXT guys to pull Randy off him. Barrett uses the chance to kick him in the face. Back in the ring Orton spears Barrett and everyone is trying to pull him off. Barrett finally gets away. No match obviously. Orton RKOs the NXT guys, including the Usos, Barretta, Reks and Hawkins.

Rumble moment is Eddie Guerrero putting on a mask, calling himself Rey Mysterio and winning the Rumble.

Bryan talks to Kaitlyn because she’s AJ’s best friend. He wants Kaitlyn to warn Show about Henry trying to injure him later. Kaitlyn thinks that sounds like a favor for Bryan, not AJ. Bryan says it’s the same thing so she gives in. She does want to know how Bryan feels about AJ, which he won’t directly answer.

Hunico vs. Ted DiBiase

DiBiase has an injured wrist/hand. Cole wants DiBiase to release his income tax statements. Oh geez not more political stuff. Hunico goes after the wrist of course and hooks an armbar. DiBiase comes back and tries Dream Street but the wrist gives out. Huico hits a variation of an Angle Slam for the pin at 1:30. Instead of the usual Slam position, it was more compact and Hunico had DiBiase’s head hooked. It looked like an Angle Slam combined with a Samoan Drop if that makes sense.

Hunico and Camacho beat on the wrist more post match and stomp it on the steps.

Aksana and Teddy are in the back when Natalya comes in and demands a rematch with Tamina. Nattie says she can beat the wackjob known as Tamina and Aksana too. Teddy makes Aksana vs. Natalya. Bad comedy ensues.

Alex Riley vs. Brodus Clay

Even Riley dances during the entrance. They dance a bit to start and Brodus suplexes him, splashes him in the corner and What The Funk ends this at 36 seconds. I still love this guy.

Kaitlyn talks to Show in the back but we can’t hear it.

We get a LONG clip from Monday with the Cena/Ryder/Kane thing.

Aksana vs. Natalya

Natalya turns around, yells for Tamina, and Aksana rolls her up for the pin in 5 seconds. Yes, clearly this deserves TV time instead of ANYTHING ELSE. Natalya puts her in the Sharpshooter but Tamina runs in, beats up Natalya and hits the Superfly Splash.

Big Show vs. Mark Henry

Bryan comes out to watch. They to the floor almost immediately but Show throws him back in. There’s a headbutt by Show and he chops Henry in the corner. Henry comes back with right hands….and falls flat on his face. From what I’ve heard, this was a legit knee/leg injury. They immediately go to a commercial and when we come back, Big Show is being announced as the winner. Apparently Show knocked Henry to the floor and won by countout. We only saw about a minute of the match.

Bryan comes in with a chair and that doesn’t go well for him. Show goes after him and Bryan gets the chair back which puts Show down. He even gets the LeBell Lock. Show tosses Bryan off and chokeslams him. He loads up the knockout punch but Bryan runs.

Overall Rating: C. This was a very odd show. If I didn’t know any better or hadn’t seen the clips about the Rumble, I would have no idea that show was Sunday. Now that being said, there’s a logic there as the Rumble name itself is going to draw no matter what. As for Henry, that could be a problem, but they got lucky in that it’s a triple threat so either A, they could let him get knocked down early and stay down for the majority of the match, or they could just do Show vs. Bryan which would be fine. Anyway, this was a different kind of show as they got a lot done, but there was very little wrestling. It still worked though.

Results
Cody Rhodes b. Justin Gabriel – Cross Rhodes
Sheamus b. Drew McIntyre – Brogue Kick
Epico/Primo b. Yoshi Tatsu/Santino Marella – Backstabber to Epico
Hunico b. Ted DiBiase – Spinning Samoan Drop
Brodus Clay b. Alex Riley – What The Funk
Aksana b. Natalya – Rollup
Big Show b. Mark Henry via countout

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Royal Rumble 2010
Date: January 31, 2010
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Matt Striker, Jerry Lawler

First off, love that announcing trio. Having 6 guys was WAY too much for PPVs. I’m excited for this Rumble. Yes the title matches are easy to see, but that doesn’t mean they’ll be bad. Sometimes you need predictable matches and this is one of them. The matches look good on paper and the build was all there. The Rumble winner is pretty up in the air actually. That being said the show is starting so it’s time to shut up. Actually it isn’t but you get the point. Let’s get to it.

The video is what you would expect: a look back. Basic but well done as usual.

ECW Title: Ezekiel Jackson vs. Christian

They’ve built this up great as it finally feels like the night Christian is going down. I’m not so sure though. Jackson is a freaking scary man indeed. My stream is choppy so this is kind of like a fast moving slide show mixed with good audio. There goes Regal after a few minutes. Striker talks too fast at times. Cole sounds sick or something. We hit the formula based stuff which is likely the best way to do this.

Since Jackson is still limited in the ring, it’s probably best to have him be carried by the far more experienced and better Christian. We’re in our second chinlock of the match already. Seriously Striker: CALM DOWN! Christian hits the jumping reverse elbow making him awesome. And then he does those stupid claps to take that away. “Hmm, I have him down and I’ve walked around in a circle so he doesn’t know where he is.

I’ll clap since that doesn’t give him a tip at all.” Jackson hits a big clothesline and we get LARIOTO from Striker. Jackson is really limited. Like Monty Brown levels of limited. I love that slingshot kick that Christian does in the corner. Why should I care about who last won the title where? No one says a word and Striker says nothing? That’s very amusing. Sleeper time. And there’s the Killswitch out of freaking nowhere for the pin. What the heck was that???

Rating: C+. This was your run of the mill big man vs. little man and the more I think about it the more I like the ending. Christian couldn’t hang with Zeke going head to head so he stopped trying to and got a quick win. I actually like that one.

Cryme Tyme both want to be in the Rumble but only one spot is available. Apparently they’ve managed to trade Khali’s spot for a kiss from Tiffany. Apparently not. Gender stereotype humor fails and Khali imitates Urkel. Shad is almost able to look eye to eye with Khali. This is so stupid. Miz comes in and Teddy, who has no authority on this show, makes the US Title match.

Rhodes sucks up to Orton and throws Ted under the bus. I’d bet on the same thing happening later with Ted,

US Title: MVP vs. The Miz

Talk about two guys that have gone in completely opposite directions. Miz used to look like a joke and is now awesome and MVP used to look awesome and now is a borderline joke. Something tells me he’s winning tonight though. MVP was US Champion what, back in 2007 and he’s still in the same place how long later? There’s a big MIZ IS AWESOME chant. Or was it AWFUL? Either one is a good sign.

MVP is all over him to start which points to Miz hanging onto the belt. Ok, we get it: MVP hung out with some chick from The View. It means nothing at all. Ah there we go. Miz is back now. He’s grown more than anyone else I’ve ever seen in the past two years. We get it also: MVP used to be in prison. Let it die already. MVP is just a failure as a face. His character is designed to be a heel but we can’t have street wise heels that look like stereotypes of course.

Ok, so MVP hits a face crusher and literally 12 seconds later the Ballin Elbow hits. Are we supposed to believe that Miz isn’t going to get up in that amount of time? Seriously? There’s a Pounce from MVP and called so much by Striker. Oh, period. Wouldn’t want to forget that.

I actually don’t know who’s going to win here which is rare in matches like these but it’s a nice plus. And Miz hits a rollup as MVP is getting back in for the pin. And that’s what he needs: wins, even by fluke, that are clean. MVP attacks him after the match and is heavily booed. Please let that be a heel turn. Cole implies it’s not. Dang it.

Rating: B-. Not bad at all. The ending was great here as it literally came out of nowhere. Miz needs more wins like these but it gives him more and more credibility every time which is what his character needs at the moment. I haven’t seen them get a character’s development much better than his in a LONG time and I’m loving it.

Jericho and Show continue their bromance. R-Truth laughs at Jericho and says it’s every man for himself. It’s better than it sounds but it’s still dumb.

Orton is walking. Yes indeed he is. And there’s Ted to say he’s here for him. No Cody in sight though and I was right with my prediction.

Ad for Raw. I love that they feel the need to advertise a show that you likely would have had to see in order to buy this show.

Soldiers are here. Oh they’re from the National Guard.

Raw World Title: Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

And the champion comes out first for no apparent reason. Sheamus is another character that has gotten a solid push from nowhere and I’m liking it. It’s working bette than Bradshaw’s when they did the same thing and I think that’s because there’s nothing of his past to compare it to. Bradshaw had nothing to go off of in the main event either but we had known him for years and he sucked. Orton gets a bit of a pop.

Please: give him a face title run. It could work. A heel vs. heel title match isn’t something I would have guessed on but it should be awesome. I’m pulling for the Irish dude just to prevent anything resembling Orton vs. HHH or Cena again. We get the big match intros too. Orton gets a straight up face pop. Sheamus gets heat but it’s mild. Still though, likely his best ever. It’s weird seeing Orton not being taller.

Sheamus is getting a bit of heat here. I like it. MASSIVE Randy chant. The fans Vince. LISTEN TO THEM. Yep, he’s wrestling life a face too. Sheamus is dominating here as he should. I’m glad they never went anywhere with the kick he gave Lawler. Orton goes for the knee which makes a lot of sense here. There has been talk of Sheamus holding the belt until Mania. I like it. We’ve begged for a new main event guy and we’ve gotten one.

Giving him a long reign is making him far more credible as a champion and main event player. It’s a brilliant move and I think it’s working. Orton STAYS ON THE KNEE! Oh blessed psychology how I love you! Sheamus works on the arm of all things. It’s different if nothing else. There’s the stupid boo/yay thing. Fans are more or less completely behind Orton which is something Vince needs to listen to.

Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge but his knee gives out. See what psychology can do for you? Orton hits that elevated DDT that is varying degrees of awesome. They’re trying so hard to have him be heel in this and it’s failing epically. The Punt, which again is more of a freaking place kick but what do I know. Vince started the XFL so obviously he’s smarter than I am. It misses of course because that never hits on PPV for some reason.

Oh wait forgot HIAC. There’s likely a reason for that one. Rhodes runs in and attacks Sheamus but the RKO hits, meaning Sheamus keeps the belt. YES! Came out of nowhere but whatever. The fans are calling for the RKO on Rhodes but they settle for a choke instead. Ted comes down and gets that beating he deserves. Grr and there goes the stream again! Orton more or less fires them, HOPEFULLY turning face. And Sheamus kicks Orton in the head and everyone leaves him there. Not bad at all.

Rating: B. I liked this a lot more than I should have. The psychology was all working here and it played into the match later on which is nice. The DQ ending kind of sucked as I would have preferred Sheamus to get a pin but this worked just fine I think. Legacy is FINALLY over though which is the far more important thing.

We recap Mickie vs. McCool which is by far the best build to a match I’ve seen in years. It’s even better than the Mark Henry vs. Viscera match. Short version: McCool and Layla were saying that Mickie was fat and it led to this. It’s a lot better than it sounds, trust me.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Michelle McCool

I’m actually pumped for this thing if you can believe that. Odds are it’s going to suck but whatever. The video had Beth in it which implies she’ll be here tonight. Sweet goodness change Michelle’s music. I freak can’t stand it. McCool cuts a bad promo before the match. Mickie isn’t here apparently?

And here’s Layla in the fat suit. This was stupid Friday but cute I guess and now…never mind as Mickie is here. And it’s a 20 second match as Mickie freaking murders her. Ok then. And they bring out food and poor it on the heels. Good to know.

Rating: N/A. Not sure if I like this or not. Mickie dominating is good as it ends this quickly, but it feels flat otherwise. I think I like it though. Yeah let’s go with that.

Ad for Elimination Chamber. Yeah nothing says SPECIAL gimmick match more than two in one night baby!

We recap Rey vs. Taker, which more or less is Rey won a contender’s match and then Batista is a whiny man. Something tells me that’s your ending because he has muscles and therefore he’s a good wrestler, at least in Vince’s eyes.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Rey Mysterio

They call this the biggest match in Rey’s career. Yep, far bigger than winning the title at Mania I’m sure. As bad as a champion that he is, that belt looks awesome on Taker’s waist. More big match intros which while they’re usually good, they kind of don’t work for Taker for some reason. This is likely to rock or suck with no real in between. This is like a wet dream for Vince: both guys are big faces so why wouldn’t this work?

Taker at 299 pounds sounds odd for some reason. Rey gets freaking launched to the floor but lands on his feet. Nice indeed. Taker has done maybe two moves and he’s put Rey on the floor twice. This is all Taker so far. Thankfully the 619 misses. Taker goes for the Tombstone but Rey uses the ancient Chinese principle of kicking his feet to get out of it. Taker of course messes up his knee because that’s all he can do in most matches anymore.

His hip is in a lot of legit pain at this point so it’s likely not a ton of acting. We get the Asai Moonsault for the Japanese fans out there. Taker’s chest looks the same as Michelle’s used to look like. I wonder if they got them done in the same place? They seem like they’re killing time, which screams BATISTA to me.

Surprisingly enough though it doesn’t come as Taker just more or less casually hits the Last Ride after countering a flippy. Where’s Norcal when I need him? Oh yeah at a bar with muscle guys.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t thrilled here at all. The only good thing was that there was a clean ending which was my main concern here. It’s two more old guys in the main event but at least they’re popular so that’s all I can ask for. Not awful, but underwhelming.

Shawn and Kane talk. HHH and Shawn talk. Greatness personified.

I freaking LOVE that video package about the numbers.

Royal Rumble

Dolph Ziggler is first and Evan Bourne is second. Ok then. And the Zig Zag hits a few minutes in. He pulls a Davey Boy Smith though and doesn’t make sure he goes over. The Shooting Star hits and Punk is third. With the roll he’s been on lately he needs a LONG run here. He starts off hot by throwing out both guys and has time to cut a promo. The heat is there, the look is there and the ability is there.

He has to job to the old guys though right? Number four is one of Cryme Tyme. Oh it’s JTG. Please….make it quick. Hey I got my wish! It lasted just a few seconds as we get our second promo of the night. I love Punk in case I didn’t make that clear. Fifth is Khali. Don’t you freaking put Punk out to this imbecile! You know they will though. Please, sacrifice Serena or something. I beg of you Vince, use your freaking brain.

Nope, Punk gets his head kickedin. Oh I get it: Khali is a “fun” character so that makes the idiocy ok. He gets the vice but it doesn’t last long enough and…Beth Phoenix is 6th? Well ok then. It’s different if nothing else. Beth gets picked up and placed on the apron where she kisses Khali before ELIMINATING HIM!! Punk hits her with the GTS after a brief skirmish. Didn’t see this coming. Seventh is Zach Ryder. This is odd indeed.

Beth is odd as we get some awesome music from Ryder. Punk tries to recruit Ryder and then hits him to MASSIVE face pops. He’s alone again as this is awesome. It’s another promo. Kane or Show will put him out soon enough. He says he’s better than whoever is next and you can smell the elimination coming from here. And it’s HHH. Bye Punk. Have fun in the belly of HHH’s ego. His intro takes the better part of ever so at least he’s consistent.

Hey Punk actually lasts until McIntyre is 9th. And HHH puts out Punk to get his ego up again. Yep, can’t have these young talented and over guys taking the place of guys like HHH. HHH is called the future of the company. That’s a scary thought. DiBiase is 10th. We’re 1/3 of the way through this. Oh great. Morrison is 11th. Nothing of note is happening at all. McIntyre takes Starship Pain and here’s HHH to take his head off anyway.

Kane is 12th, To recap it’s HHH, Kane, DiBiase, Morrison and McIntyre in there at the moment. The IC Title boys take a double chokeslam and it’s all Kane meaning he’ll be out soon or last a long time. And HHH saves DiBiase. Ok then. I guess the whole end your career thing is forgives. Cody Rhodes comes up on the monitor and Striker says it must be Rhodes. What would we do without you Matty? Legacy dominates…kind of. Morrison is acrobatic as all goodness.

Rhodes underrated in the ring. Striker says he’s the seed of the Dream. BAD FREAKING IMAGE MAN! Kane of course is moving and Cole can’t tell McIntyre and HHH apart. MVP is 14th. Miz jumps him in the aisle and blasts him with the belt. Know what would be nice now? A shot of the ring. Oh there it is. Morrison hits a SICK springboard spinkick to the head of McIntyre. MVP is taken out as I’m pretty sure HHH is going to win here.

My guess is Shawn vs. HHH somewhere down the line because of Shawn’s incessant ego. Carlito is 15th and apparently he’s interesting. Yeah that’s nosense if I’ve ever heard it. He hits a nice springboard reverse elbow to Legacy. That was nice. MVP will likely run in and attack Miz later. Nothing predictable at all there. HHH takes the Backstabber as do a lot of people. Holy crap he’s dominating. Sixteenth is Miz. Amazingly MVP doesn’t jump him. That’ll be next I guess.

The Skull Crushing Finale hits Carlito. The fans pop like a cherry pie for Miz vs. Morrison and here’s MVP to put himself and Miz out. Legacy has HHH in trouble and of course he doesn’t go out. Carlito hangs onto the rope and stays in. Number 17 is Matt Hardy to a huge pop. This crowd is awesome. To continue the trend he dominates and hits a bunch of people before Kane puts him out and Kane is out by HHH.

You really can see it coming. I hope I need glasses. Spinebusters all around. A hot crowd pops for him so that validates this I suppose. HBK is 18th and I think I feel a showdown of 1990 proportions coming. Rhodes and Carlito and DiBiase are gone. Ok we have Shawn, McIntyre, Morrison and HHH in there at the moment. Ok take out Morrison and the showdown is pretty clear.

Shawn has the second most eliminations in Rumble history apparently. Yep it’s showdown time and there’s the clock. It’ll be a jobber and…never mind it’s Cena. Vince the Survivor Series bombed with this main event so why wouldn’t this do it too? And of course he beats up DX. A double You Can’t See Me is booed to an extent. HHH stops an FU and takes a Pedigree AND HHH IS SUPERKICKED OUT OF THE FREAKING MATCH! I am STUNNED. TAKE THAT MELTZER!!!

Shelton is in now and I’m switching my bet to Cena. Shawn has put Shelton out like three years in a row or something. This is his eighth consecutive Rumble. Wow I wouldn’t have guessed that one. Cena ends Shawn’s streak and puts out Shelton. Holy Mania rematch Batman. Yoshi Tatsu is 21st. I like this guy for some reason. Of course Striker has a dumb name for him: the Poison Fist of the Pacific Rim. Cena dumps him in a few seconds and we’re back to Shawn and Cena.

Nothing overdone about that AT ALL is there? Ok Atlanta is allowed to do the WOOs. Big Show is 22nd. Show almost goes out but saves himself. Cena goes for an FU but it misses. Shawn has to skin the cat (what a name I tell you) because Chin Music misses. Mark Henry is 23rd. Well they’re having some big names in there at least. I still can’t get over HHH being out already. It’s a curveball if nothing else. Henry goes for a slam can can’t get it.

Why do I have a feeling he’s not the world’s strongest man? He gets the slam a bit later but then almost gets an FU. Masters is number 24. Have to have some jobbers I guess. He press slams Shawn and of course doesn’t throw him out. Instead he puts the Masterlock on Show and he gets tossed for it. Henry and Show go at it again as we have a clock. It’s R-Truth….AND HE PUTS OUT SHOW AND HENRY.

I guess there is a youth movement. It’s Truth, Cena and Michaels here. He shows his TNA connection by hitting Cena with the Stroke. The fans are chanting boring. This hasn’t been bad at all. Swagger is 26th as Norcal pops. This is his first Rumble. I wouldn’t have guessed that. Vader Bombs all around. NO! Stream went out! Never mind it’s back!

Kofi is 27th. There goes Truth. Jericho is 28th. Kofi put out Truth in case you were wondering. He follows that up by kicking the heck out of Shawn and then gets thrown by Cena. All three are down and here’s 29. HOLY CRAP IT’S EDGE! Ok it’s not really shocking but still cool moment. Oh yeah he’s a face. Just like he should be. Spears all around and we might not have a surefire winner now.

There goes Jericho and Edge is domination. Sweet the Edgecution is back! Fans are WAY into this. Shame Batista will be 30th. It would have made sense to just have it be Edge in at 30. Ok final four are Cena, Shawn, Batissta and Edge. Naturally Batista is dominating. Anyone of these guys could win. Edge spears him down and Cena FUs Edge so everyone is down. Shawn nips up to another great pop. That’s one of those moves that just plain works.

Shawn is dominating here and Striker screws up again by saying that Edge has had no vigor. Shawn is dominating here and this is exciting me. Cena gets kicked and si does Big Dave. Edge clotheslines Shawn to the apron and then gets superkicked back in. DAVE PUTS SHAWN OUT! The crowd just goes dead silent. That came from nowhere. This is wide freaking open at this point. WOW I haven’t heard a crowd die like that ever.

That…might not have been what was supposed to happen. He goes nuts an goes back in, beating up referees. Could this be a Shawn HEEL TURN??? I certainly freaking hope so. More referees come down as Shawn looks freaking crushed. Striker says this is heartbreaking (no pun intended I’m sure) as he says Shawn has never achieved this. If he means beating Taker he’s an idiot. He’s also never achieved a good buyrate but we’ll ignore that.

Ok so it’s Edge, Batista and Cena. Cena reverses the Batista Bomb and Batista reverses the FU and there goes Batista! This would suggest Edge winning but I’m not so sure. He sets for the spear with those great visuals of his and it misses of course. Cena goes for a clothesline and EDGE WINS IT! YEAH!

Take that people screaming this was going to be predicable! Love that ending, even though it’s the same thing they did with Cena but not as exciting/sweet. This is what we needed too: a FRESH face that is going to get some POPS. Great move all around and a great Rumble match.

Rating: A. Very solid Rumble here. Edge winning was a very pleasant shock and I liked it a lot. They had the star power in there tonight and no Santino or Duggan or jokes like that who are just going to waste time and spots. The formula works great when it clicks and this was no exception. I was bored until HHH got dumped but it wasn’t awful before that. Once he’s gone though, it’s straight through the roof. Very good Rumble and likely in the top five ever of them.

Overall Rating: A-. I was going back and forth between B- and C+. The whole show was indeed nothing great, but there was nothing that bad really. The right people won, for the most part they won clean, Orton is a face…I think, Shawn is snapping, Legacy is OVER, and Edge is back as a top level face.

This was a very good show and if you want to say it was predictable, let me know so I can laugh at you. Fun show and worth checking out, just don’t expect a classic. Edited: what the heck am I thinking? This show was great. A-.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 3, 2005
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 14,387
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

Another request and another three hour show. This is the return of Raw to the USA Network which warranted the debut of apparently the first ever three hour Raw spectacular. As for the card, it’s a two match show but they’re two big matches: Edge vs. Matt Hardy in a ladder match and Shawn vs. Kurt in an iron man match. This should be good so let’s get to it.

The copy has comes with the final five minutes of a special aired before this called Raw Comes Home. Yes, there were four hours of the WWE on this Monday. This part is just a highlight reel and Shawn talks about being at the first Raw. They talk about the Manhattan Center. Sean Mooney makes a cameo. They all knew Raw was special. Shawn is proud of being here the whole time. Vince says the Attitude Era is who they really are. And here’s forty seconds to say that the modern stuff is ok too.

Theme song opens us up.

Here’s Foley to get things going. The ring is set up for Piper’s Pit. Foley says he’s come back home. He introduces the host because the host is no ordinary man. Here’s Piper whose gut is rapidly growing. Piper says he thought he was crazy but he has nothing on Foley. Foley jumps off roofs for fun. But them Piper read Foley’s new book Scooter and he hasn’t slept with the light off in four days.

This is Piper’s Pit though and the fans want to know when Foley is coming back to the WWE. Isn’t he here already? Foley says he came back last year and got beaten up so to come back again he needs a good reason. Piper says the people are a good reason. Cue the Ortons and Foley cuts Randy off and says he should be worried about the legend that’s going to take Orton out this Sunday at No Mercy (Undertaker).

Orton says he isn’t here to talk to Foley, but rather Piper. Piper greets him warmly but Orton cuts him off, saying without Papa Orton, there would be no Piper. Orton goes off on him, saying his dad did all the work and Piper got all the glory. Orton shoves him so Piper takes him down. Foley and Bob pull them apart but Bob sucker punches Roddy and RKOs leave the legends laying.

We recap Shawn vs. Angle. Angle won at Mania, Shawn won at Vengeance, tonight is the rubber match.

Teddy and Eric meet in the back and Eric yells about Orton, a Smackdown guy, coming in tonight. Teddy doesn’t know anything about it but Eric wants to know who else is coming from Smackdown.

Shawn Michaels vs. Kurt Angle

This is thirty minute iron man match. A TON of legends are in the front row. Shawn charges in and runs into a suplex/powerslam from Kurt. Shawn chops him in the corner to take over. Swinging neckbreaker takes Kurt down for two and they head to the floor. Angle hammers him in the corner so Shawn hooks a sleeper. A suplex gets him out of it and Kurt pounds him down for a bunch of two counts.

There’s a chinlock but they have a ton of time to work with here. Shawn breaks it with a jawbreaker at five minutes in. Shawn launches him to the floor and Angle flips forward to land on his face. Freaking OW man. Baseball slide misses and Angle hits the Slam on the floor. Angle stomps away at Shawn in the corner but Michaels comes back briefly. Kurt kills him with a buckle bomb for two.

A superplex is countered but Shawn takes too long up there so Kurt runs the corner and hits a top rope Angle Slam for the first fall after 8:10. Back with about 18 minutes to go and Kurt hooks a chinlock. Shawn tries a comeback but charges into the post. German suplex gets two. Angle whips him in hard but another Slam attempt is countered into a sunset flip which is countered into the ankle lock. Shawn counters into a rollup for the tie at just before 15 minutes to go. Or is it 15 minutes in?

Out to the floor and Shawn gets his head rammed into the steps. Back in and it’s a body scissors by Kurt. Shawn bites the head to get out of it and they slug it out. With twelve minutes left Shawn gets a rollup for two which is rolled into an ankle lock. Kurt hooks the grapevine and Shawn has to tap with about 11:15 to go, putting him up 2-1 and we take a break.

Back with Kurt working on the leg at seven and a half minutes left. Shawn hammers away but Kurt takes out the leg again. He slaps Kurt for some reason and hits the forearm (Flying Burrito says JR). Here’s Shawn’s offensive sequence and the elbow hits. Sweet Chin Music ties it up with 4:45 to go.

Four and a half minutes left. Kurt rolls to the floor and the replay shows that the kick looked awesome. Four minutes left. Shawn gets flipped over in the corner and the Angle Slam gets two. With three minutes left, Shawn counters a Slam into a DDT. Both guys are down but Shawn covers for two at two and a half minutes left. Two minutes to go.

Angle rolls through a moonsault press into an ankle lock in a cool counter. 90 seconds left. Shawn tries to kick him off but Kurt grapevines it again and we have a minute left. Shawn rolls over which might help a bit. Thirty to go and a kick to the face breaks the hold. I’ve NEVER seen the grapevine broken. Shawn kicks his head off but it’s too late for the pin as the bell rings.

Rating: B-. Pretty fun match here as they kept things moving. These two had fantastic chemistry together and this worked perfectly. The ending is kind of weak and Shawn holding on that long is a BIG stretch, but when 28 minutes are fine, there’s not much more you can ask for. Good stuff and all iron man matches should be 30 minutes.

Shawn wants overtime but Kurt walks.

We run down the card for the rest of the show. Lita looks great in the graphic.

Cena was at some hip hop awards show last week.

Kevin Von Erich is in the front row. Think he’s cheered in Dallas?

Eric comes up to see Vince in the back and tries to get out of the match with Cena tonight. He wants it to be No DQ. Vince says no. Eric goes into Easy E mode and calls him Vince. He goes off, saying this is just to drive Eric crazy so we can have a Self Destruction of Eric Bischoff DVD. He calls Vince sick and Vince says you have no idea.

Lillian reads a prepared statement about Vince and his accomplishments (“He is strong, he is handsome, he is…..well endowed?”). Here’s Vince who says this is like the old days. He remembers February 8, 1998. That was the night he beat up Steve Austin. We get a clip (the date stamp says 99, which is correct) of Austin getting pinned by Vince which is his favorite moment.

Vince talks about another favorite moment and here’s Austin. He says Vince looks nervous and isn’t sure why. Vince made Austin right? Austin remembers things differently so here are some of his clips. First up: Austin as a doctor attacking Vince in the hospital and anally violating him with an IV. The next clip is of Bang 3:16. Finally it’s the beer truck which somehow was named the #1 moment in Raw history.

Vince wants to start all over again with Austin. He only showed one of the 12 clips he had. Austin doesn’t quite buy it and Vince tries to run. Austin flips him off and Stuns him because that’s how things should be with these two. Before Austin leaves here’s the dancing son. And there’s a Stunner for Shane before he can do anything. Austin has another beer and it’s Stephanie to the rescue.

Stephanie yells about some stuff and wants to know who Austin thinks he is. He says Steph is lovely and asks what fragrance she’s wearing. Stephanie accidentally grabs his hand and Austin says he gets it: she’s flirting with him. Maybe she’s like to give old Stone Cold a kiss? She slaps him instead so there’s a Stunner for Stephanie. Now here’s Linda of all people. I don’t see this ending well.

Linda goes off on Austin for what happened. Why did he Stun Vince? “Your husband is a piece of trash.” Shane? “He’s a chip off the old block of trash.” Stephanie? “She’s a beautiful young piece of trash.” Linda wants an apology for the family but Austin say why? It was just three Stunners. Austin apologizes and Linda goes to leave. Austin stops her and asks for a kiss on the cheek. He almost implies sex but he’s talking about having a beer.

Linda drinks…and Austin’s arm goes up against her head and she falls down as Austin does. There wasn’t any contract on the fall so it looked awful, but she’s not a wrestler. You know, Vince has been unconscious for 12 minutes now. Shouldn’t he get a doctor to look at him or something?

After a break, Vince says someone will pay for what Austin did and someone is getting fired. It would somehow wind up being JR, who had to leave for legit medical issues.

Edge vs. Matt Hardy

Winner gets the MITB case, the loser leaves Raw. Lita is looking extra nice tonight.  Edge jumps Matt as he comes through the entrance and sprints up the ladder. It doesn’t work but it was a nice try. Matt turns the ladder upside down and puts Edge in it. He tries to close it which can’t feel good. Edge finally escapes and sends Matt into the ladder.

Edge suplexes him onto the ladder and goes climbing. Matt makes the save but his climb fails also. Edge puts a ladder on the top rope and Matt is sent face first into it. Here’s ladder #2 but Edge takes too long setting it up. Edge gets rammed into it but Matt gets suplexed onto it. There’s the climb but Matt saves and throws Edge into the ladder on the corner. Edge stumbles backwards to knock Matt’s ladder down as we go to a break.

Back with Edge’s suplex attempt through a table being broken up. Matt rams Edge with another ladder to put him in the crowd. Hardy dives into the crowd and the fans are loving this. Matt goes to powerbomb Lita through the table but Edge saves via a kendo stick show. Edge splashes Matt through the table and this is solid stuff again. Edge slowly climbs but Matt gets back in and hits a Twist of Fate off the ladder.

Lita kendo sticks Matt’s leg to break up his attempt so Matt rams her into the buckle. Matt goes up again but Lita pulls the ladder away so he’s just hanging there. Edge drops him onto the ropes and ties him into them. Lita holds his arms there as well in a crucifix position. Edge easily wins.

Rating: B. I’ve always liked this match. These two had a real life issue which made the matches that much more intense. Matt would go to Smackdown and wouldn’t really do anything for awhile while Edge would win his first world title in about three months by cashing in MITB. Can we just look at Lita in those shorts for a little longer?

Matt leaves with security.

Ashley and Trish get ready for later. They talk trash about their bra and panties handicap match later. Mae Young pops up to offer her services. She then flashes some legends and DiBiase offers to pay her to put her shirt back on. Moolah makes the save. Snuka wants to give her the money for something else. Oh dear.

Maria gets hit on by Flair. Flair, the IC Champion, says this is about the return of HHH.

Carlito/Chris Masters vs. Ric Flair/HHH

This is HHH’s return from the beatings Batista gave him. The former Evolution team is good here and HHH looks a little chubby. It’s a brawl to start with HHH and Flair clearing the ring. Flair and Carlito start us off and it’s chops all around from the partners. We take a break and come back with Carlito stomping Ric. Carlito spits the apple in Flair’s face and puts on the figure four.

Trips comes in to break it up but Carlito keeps up on the knee. He slaps Flair in the face but walks into a HARD chop. Carlito goes up and Flair slams him off for a nice change of pace. Flair Flops and Masters breaks up the tag. Masterlock doesn’t quite go on so Flair hits him low. Double tag brings in Carlito to face HHH and house is cleaned with a high knee for both guys. Now a spinebuster for both guys. HHH goes under the ring and pulls out the hammer. Carlito saves Masters from a shot with it but takes a Pedigree. Flair takes out Masters and it’s over.

Rating: C. Just a tag match here so that Flair and HHH could look dominant. Carlito was never really a guy that never got over and I’m not completely sure what the exact reason was. I don’t know if it was his look of his attitude but it never really clicked. Masters was stuck with a bad gimmick and they would never give him anything different so it’s no wonder he never went anywhere.

Post match HHH and Flair celebrate but HHH turns on him by busting him open with the sledgehammer. He hits Flair again with the hammer and we have a lot of blood. HHH sends him to the floor and beats on him in front of the legends in a nice touch.

During the break HHH kept beating on Flair in the back. It’s still going as we’re live. HHH shouts at him about how Flair is better than anybody and HHH isn’t going to let it keep happening. He yells at all the security to try and do something about it. Now they go to a limo and HHH slaps him. He throws Flair in the limo and then breaks the window with the hammer as it drives away. This would wind up being because HHH thought Flair was a joke and a parody of himself so he did this for his own good. This would result in a very violent old school cage match.

The Legends are all in the ring now. There must be 25 guys in there. I’m not sure Dean Malenko qualifies as a legend but I’ll take what I can get. Dusty talks about how all of them used to have some great times. He wants to talk about Harley Race but here’s Rob Conway who was going after legends around this time, although at a much weaker level than Orton.

Conway asks if this is Homecoming or a nursing home. He says this looks like a funeral and they need to go back to their old folks’ home to make room for the next generation. Dusty goes off on him and says that the Legends built the table Conway eats off of. Conway calls Race fat and that’s enough for the legends. Everyone beats on him and David Von Erich puts him down with the Claw. That of course blows the roof off the place. Snuka even hits the Superfly Splash!

Candace Michelle/Victoria/Torrie Wilson vs. Trish Stratus/Ashley Massaro

The three chicks are eventually going to be known as Vince’s Devils and they come out to what would become Laycool’s music. This is bra and panties rules and Trish is Women’s Champion. The three of them combine to rip Ashley’s top off quickly. Ashley rips Victoria’s top off and it’s time for a chase scene. Trish kicks Victoria’s head off and we head in. Jerry: “Where are the puppies???” JR: “In the same place they always are King.” Everyone but Trish loses their shirt and she strips Victoria. Candace almost loses her underwear and Torrie is stripped to end it. I’m not rating it because I think you get the idea here.

Angle comes up to Eric in the back and asks if Eric is worried about the Smackdown guys. Eric isn’t worried and also says that since Vince left, he’s in charge. Cena vs. Bischoff is now No DQ. It would be an honor to have Kurt be at ringside with him. It’s for the title and Bischoff implies if Angle helps him win the title, Eric will forfeit the title and name Kurt the new champion.

Eddie Guerrero/Christian/John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Benoit/Batista/Rey Mysterio

Benoit is US Champion, Batista is World Champion, Teddy Long is in the ring too, Eddie would be dead in about 5 weeks, JBL dances to the ring, and these are all matches on Sunday (Eddie vs. Batista, JBL vs. Mysterio and Benoit was defending the title against Christian, Booker and Orlando Jordan). And there’s no match. The bell rings but Eric comes out and says hold everything. This is Raw, not Smackdown, so cut the lights. Eric cracks up at this and says go to a commercial. This set up Raw vs. Smackdown at Survivor Series.

After a break, here’s Mean Gene to introduce Hulk Hogan. Gene talks about the reality show and all that and asks what’s next. Hulk asks if you can feel the power of Hulkamania here in Dallas. He says he’d love to face Shawn again at any time but I don’t think that ever happened. As for his next challenger, he saw someone out here tonight and the people reacted to him like no one else. The fans chant for Austin and that’s who Hogan means. He wants to know what these people would do if he climbed in the ring with that Rattlesnake Stone Cold Steve Austin. That match would have drawn tens of millions but it never happened.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Eric Bischoff

Angle is here with Bischoff. This was at a period where Batista was the biggest star in the company but Cena was on the rise. At this point, Cena was still pretty much a guy just barely not in over his head. He would grow up a lot over the next six to eight months and become the John Cena that we all know today.

Eric’s kick is countered and remember that it’s No DQ. Cena never takes his eyes off Angle. Angle tries to interfere and Eric gets in some kicks. There’s the Shuffle but Kurt comes in. The Slam is countered but the FU is broken up by a low blow. Angle misses a chair shot and hits himself by mistake. FU ends this clean. This was like two minutes long.

Angle and Cena go at it post match but here’s Teddy to say chill. Teddy says Eric embarrassed Smackdown so here comes the Smackdown guys to beat down Angle and Cena. Raw guys run in and the show ends with Big Show getting in. There’s Survivor Series.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a very different kind of show. It’s like all of the good stuff was at the beginning and then after that everything slows way down and feels a lot less important. The Raw vs. Smackdown stuff was cool but it was a lead for another show. Cena and Eric’s fight was never given a reason and was pretty boring. This show needed much better pacing but the stuff we got at the beginning was quite good.

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Royal Rumble 2008
Date: January 27, 2008
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 20,798
Commentators: Tazz, Jonathan Coachman, Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Jim Ross

You think that’s enough commentators??? Anyway, this is kind of a forgotten show other than the ending, which to be fair was completely awesome and shocking to say the least. Cena is out with an injury here and likely is going to miss everything until Mania, which sucks but that’s the way it goes. I was just starting to get into WZ around this time so that should give you an idea of what was going on back then.

Anyway, other than that we have Edge vs. Rey and Orton vs. Jeff Hardy, as he begins his year long quest for the title that truly was awesome on a lot of levels. The Rumble and the fact that this is in MSG of course are the reasons to watch the show, so let’s get to it.

The intro is as standard as you could possibly imagine, with the guys getting on a New York subway and then all of the Rumbles being mentioned, especially the big ones. Except for 04 because Benoit doesn’t exist.

Ric Flair vs. MVP

This is a career threatening match, as Flair’s next loss would be his last. This means that it’s about as obvious as the fact that Becca has balloons under her shirt that Flair isn’t losing here. Since we’re in MSG tonight, we have the altered entrance ramp. Also, we have an annoying theme as with every time the name of a guy is shown on screen, it looks like a subway going down the tracks, complete with loud sound effects.

Because you know, that’s what I need over Flair’s music: train sounds. Flair says it’s an honor to wrestle many times in MSG and that he debuted here 32 years ago. That’s just freaking scary. MVP’s music cuts him off. He’s US Champion here. Fans are clearly all over MVP. The age difference here is insane. Flair’s chops are always great for some reason. It makes me smile watching him for some reason.

To put Flair in perspective, when he first won the US Title, MVP was four years old. Flair had debuted before MVP was ALIVE. Think about that. MVP is 37 years old and 35 here, and Flair has been wrestling since before that. That’s insane. MVP actually busts out a crossface chickenwing as I’m happy already. Flair goes for the legs, which if nothing else is the one thing he’s never changed over the years.

MVP gets the Drive By and the easy pin. Wait what? Yeah he got the three, but Flair’s feet were on the ropes. You could hear the crowd just go silent in a split second which was awesome. Flair goes for a quick rollup but gets two. It amazes me that a man in his 60s has this kind of charisma.It really is impressive.

Flair counters the Playmaker into the figure four for the tap out. That’s the thing here: Flair beat MVP clean, which makes MVP, a champion, look weak. That’s not good at all, but I get that Flair’s career ending is FAR bigger than his title reign.

Rating: B-. This was a fine match but like I said I don’t like the booking here. A DQ or count out would have been fine, not a clean submission though. This was really a basic match but it worked fine. It’s nice to see someone get a clean win for once after a decent back and forth match. WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE THIS ONE THOUGH? Ok so I shouldn’t be that mad, but it’s still annoying.

Vince and Horny are in the back where Vince is explaining the history their family has at MSG. He says Horny has to win as Finlay comes in. Horny gets really excited. Back up an erase that. It’s fairly obvious where this was going.

Chris Jericho vs. JBL

JBL had cost Jericho the title at Armageddon because Jericho had bumped into him. That started the feud that led to this. It included an instance where JBL more or less tried to lynch Jericho and hurt his neck and throat badly meaning Jericho couldn’t talk for awhile. This is clearly a long time ago as Jericho has only won the IC Title seven times here. JBL is freshly out of his short retirement where he was a commentator.

Jericho looks odd with the long tights now which is weird as he wore those for the majority of his career. JBL had called out Jericho’s kids and said their dad was a coward to make this personal. Jericho keeps spearing JBL but the punches he throws are pathetic. Jericho works on the back which makes sense here as JBL retired earlier because of a bad back. After a brief skirmish on the floor we go back in and JBL hits the best looking Hot Shot that I’ve ever seen.

JBL has lost a lot of weight at this point and looks a lot better. The fans are rapidly getting on him though. Jericho hits the post on the floor and he’s bleeding but not terribly. This match isn’t that good. It’s like they’re trying to find a story out there and it’s just not working at all.

We’re back on the floor again and Jericho is in control now. As JBL tries to set up a table, Jericho just blasts the heck out of him with a chair to get the DQ. That was an awesome shot. Jericho pulls out a rope and gets back at JBL for trying to hang him. Bradshaw is down for awhile after it. The beating got a great reaction for Jericho though.

Rating: D+. This just wasn’t very good at all and it was a mess most of the time. I get the part about trying to beat up JBL from Jericho’s point of view, but this was just all over the place and didn’t work well period. The ending made a lot of sense as Jericho didn’t care about the win but just hurting JBL, so I’m fine with that, but this just wasn’t very good at all.

Ashley, who is in need of a cheeseburger or something like that is looking for Maria but Santino cuts her off and says she’s not doing Playboy. Yeah she is.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Edge

Rey got this shot just by winning a Beat the Clock challenge. I’m really getting tired of people getting shots over things like qualifying matches. There are no personal feuds anymore. Orton vs. HHH got close I suppose but Orton had the title match anyway. Edge is with Vickie here and oddly enough comes out first. This was around the time when there was an attempt at having a stable called La Familia and it just failed completely.

Nothing came of it and it bombed completely. Granted that could be because it was Edge, Hawkins and Ryder, Chavo and Bam Neely with Vickie Guerrero. That’s not exactly Flair, Blanchard and the Andersons. Heck that’s not Flair, Windham, Anderson and Roma. Rey is seen just standing there waiting on his entrance which hurts things a lot. Rey’s mask looks like that of a Trojan. Where does he find these things at?

His Mania masks and outfits could work wonders as a drug education program. “Kids, do drugs and you might wind up as a short Mexican wrestler with tattoos who dresses up like the Joker.” The idea of X hearing that as a kid would explain so much. The roles are messed up here as Rey is booed out of the building and Edge gets a great pop. We hear Edge’s very impressive resume to start us off. Rey botches the heck out of rana and gets booed out of the building again as a result.

Oh man the heat on Rey is great. Actually isn’t that bad? I’m not sure. The referee catches Hawkins and Ryder about to cheat and throws them out. If nothing else Ryder can go and listen to his radio. He needs an education on how to be a lackey so maybe it taught him everything it knows. It’s 315am and I’m tired. Give me a break.

Rey’s leg is hurt. It’s so weird to hear these references to recent events and hear things that you remember. This was almost two years ago. That blows my mind. Edge starts working the knee which again makes sense here so you can’t argue that at least. The referee is good here as he checks on Rey a lot but never gets in the way. That’s a nice little touch in there.

Rey’s quick stuff is just completely insane. Also he’s selling quite well here so I’m rather pleased with him here. In a nice touch, Rey kicks Edge in the face but uses his good leg. That’s very smart as he has enough to stand on the bad one, which while a bit of a stretch is believable, but he gets offense in and stronger offense than he would by using the weak leg. That’s not bad at all.

And there goes the intelligence as he goes up top and does a double stomp. Rey, your lack of intelligence disturbs me. In a cool spot he makes up for it though in a unique spot. With Edge on the floor, Rey gets a hobbling start but slides face forward so his arms go first and grabs Edge by the head for a tornado DDT. That’s very smart because he protects the leg. That my friends is psychology.

Rey hits a splash from the top after the 619 but Vickie pulls the referee out after jumping out of her wheelchair. Rey goes for another 619 but Vickie jumps onto the apron and he kicks her. This of course would put her in the wheelchair for months. Rey stops for a second to go oh crap and when he hits a springboard, Edge hits a great spear for the pin. Vickie gets the big sympathy thing from Edge as she is wheeled out.

Rating: A-. I really liked Rey here and for the life of me I don’t get the crowd. To be fair though, New York is the mother of the smark towns so that is your likely answer. This wasn’t bad at all for a token title defense. It came off pretty well with the knee being a great point to work with. Rey impressed me a lot here with some of his innovations to protect his leg. This came out very well and I liked it a lot, Vickie aside.

Flair comes out of the shower and Kennedy is waiting on him. He says he would love to beat Flair. Shawn makes the unneeded save with a great line of “kids these days”. Shawn makes fun of himself which is always great stuff. Batista shows up as does HHH and it’s awkward. I know this because they tell us it’s awkward. Shawn of course pushes his new shirt.

Orton and Hardy are getting ready.

Maria, looking mostly hot comes out for the first ever HD Kiss Cam. This goes on for like 90 seconds and is just annoying. Ashley comes out for no apparent reason. Good night she’s disturbing looking and gets no reaction. The mention of Maria in Playboy draws out Santino in a JEALOUS RAGE!!! He has someone under a cover too. There’s a jobber joke there somewhere.

I love how Santino makes fun of the New York teams here but earlier this year he did the decent jersey bit. He says the Giants will choke in the Super Bowl. Considering what happened, that’s just hilarious. I’ll give him this: he can draw cheap heat like no one not named Mick Foley. Under the sheet is of course Big Dick Johnson in Patriots apparel. In other news, X is defecting to the Jets. Ashley looks like the pole she belongs on.

Mike Adamle does the intro for the video package, famously calling him Jeff Harvey. We go to the video package, and easily this is one of the best ones the company has ever put together. Instead of just highlighting the three weeks leading up to the match (it was 6-7 here so that helped a lot) they show miniature bios of Jeff and Randy and their roads to getting here, with Jeff’s set to Rooftops by the Lost Prophets and since that’s one of my favorite songs it helps a lot.

They then have a thing where they jump back and forth between two segments on Raw: Randy punting Matt while Jeff is in the ring and Jeff’s INSANE dive onto Orton off the Raw set that was a legit scary thing. The problem was simple though. As Norcal put it after that, “Man, is Jeff gonna jump off the roof at the Rumble?” That summed it up right there: how could Jeff top this? Either way, this has me way into the match that I know the ending to and took place nearly two years ago. That’s very impressive.

Raw World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton

The key to this whole match is simple: Jeff could win. That was the whole thing anyone could talk about on WZ leading up to this: Jeff could win. Jeff is IC Champion here. Orton doesn’t hear voices yet. We get the big match intros which work well here. There’s no crowd confusion here which is a plus. They do the stupid bell ringing twice thing so in other words the match isn’t going on right now but whatever.

It’s a really basic thing to start but Orton is playing to the crowd really well now that he’s in control. Jeff gets a great baseball slide and Orton hits the barrier and his head looks like it’s not attached. That looks awesome. Ross is WAY too excited over this match. Orton tries to leave with the belt as he draws great heel heat. He’s a lot better here than he usually is.

In an unintentional great visual, the belt is on the ground and Jeff is down stretching his arms out and he can’t reach it. I don’t think he knew it was there but it looked great. Orton busts out the Orton Stomp just to tick me off a bit. It’s an old Ronnie Garvin move so no wonder it annoys me.Orton’s offense has been kind of all over the place and there’s been very little flow to this.

It’s been more or less a long brawl, although to be fair we’re 8 minutes in which from what I’ve seen is about half of the match so there’s time left. And just as I say that Jeff makes a comeback and we hit the floor again. Back in the ring, Jeff takes a GREAT shoulder post shot. That might have been the best I’ve ever seen as he freaking dives for it. This just isn’t that interesting of a match.

I think the problem simply is that the buildup was so awesome and then at the end of the day, it’s going to be a Randy Orton match which means it’s likely not going to be that good. Jeff comes back with an awesome looking Whisper in the Wind, which is my favorite Hardy move. It more or less ended with his leg slamming into Orton’s head so it almost looked like it ended with a Fameasser or a leg drop.

Granted it was completely by accident but whatever. Orton gets out of the way of the Swanton a bit later but gets sent to the floor. Jeff completely misses a top rope moonsault that at least they cover up with a quick camera cut.

Jeff more or less landed next to Orton which they of course show on a replay because the camera people are freaking stupid at times. And we go back in and Orton counters a Twist of Fate into the RKO to end it. I get that the move is supposed to come out of nowhere, but that ending came out of nowhere and not in the cool exciting way but in the that felt like it was bad way.

Rating: C-. The problem here like I said earlier is the hype. The hype here was off the charts and they simply weren’t going to be able to live up to it no matter what. That’s where this match lost it and that can’t be blamed on Orton and Hardy. That being said, this just was kind of a mess.

It’s not awful, but it’s a letdown and just not very good. Hardy wasn’t ready yet, but this was a good test for him. He would chase the title all year (minus the three month suspension for being an idiot and getting high) before winning it in a SHOCKER at Armageddon.

Royal Rumble

They actually have Michael Buffer doing the ring announcing. That’s awesome. He just sounds right doing this to say the least. Taker is number one and Michaels is number two, because it’s completely realistic to think that two guys that were numbers the last two last year would be numbers one and two this year. Buffer messes up his name though. He says it right but he sounds like there should be something coming after it.

They say a few people have come in at number one and won the match but they don’t say who, obviously due to the suckitude of Rey’s win. That’s all it could be right? We’re into minute number three of Taker’s entrance at this point. BIG old pop for Shawn. Well we know they’re not going out first. Did I mention all 6 guys are calling the Rumble this year? Yes because we need two guys to scream about everything, two analysts that aren’t that good and two idiots.

Santino is number three because two Hall of Famers aren’t good enough and we need comedy. Shawn kicks him in the face and Taker dumps him out. Well at least it was the right decision. Intervals are 90 seconds this year. Shawn counters Old School because no one has ever done that before. Khali is number four to a groan. Taker jumps him as the announcers point out how he used to knock Taker around, yet neglects to mention that Taker put him out with relative ease last year.

The smart crowd of course goes into the You Can’t Wrestle chant. Taker puts him out in about a minute for the second year in a row. Hardcore Holly, who is a tag champion here along with Cody Rhodes, is number five. It’s an even numbered year so it’s time to push him again. John Morrison, just starting to get over as a tag wrestler here, is number 6. Shawn and Morrison need to be given 20 minutes one day to just tear the freaking house down.

Dreamer, who asked for his release today, is number 7. These intervals are WAY shorter than 90 seconds. Batista is in maybe a minute later. Taker and Batista have the big showdown that lasts just a few seconds before Dreamer goes after Batista and gets thrown out. They reference the clocks going fast as Horny is 9th. Oh screw it. He goes under the ring as Batista spears Taker.

We’ve got Holly, Horny, Morrison, Shawn, Batista and Taker in there. Ok, that might have been 45 seconds this time. Chuck the stupid biker Palumbo is 10th. It was another vain attempt to make him mean anything and it failed completely. He’s just turned heel and no one cared in the slightest. He was feuding with Noble of all people and couldn’t beat him. That’s saying a lot.

Taker throws Morrison but he makes a nice save to stay in. Amazingly, Noble is 11th, just after his rival Palumbo. He’s gone in about thirty seconds thanks to Chucky. Punk, who would win the world title in the summer, is number 12. He just lost the ECW Title a few weeks before this to Chavo but would win MITB at Mania. He puts Palumbo out just before Rhodes is 13th. Umaga is 14th and nothing at all is going on here.

He’s got the incredibly bright red tights on here and he puts Holly out after shouting a lot. This is just terribly boring. Snitsky, amazingly still with a job, is number 15. Rhodes and Punk almost gets him out but that fails of course as Rhodes isn’t over yet. Morrison and Punk go at it renewing the real rivalry as Miz is number 16.

Taker and Umaga, who were supposed to feud about a dozen times but never did for whatever reason, fight for awhile until the minute passes and Shelton comes in at 17. Michaels kicks him out with ease. Well ok then. After about 30 seconds, Jimmy Snuka is 18th. Seriously? That’s the best you can come up with? He looks AWFUL. This is what I don’t like about WWE.

Shelton, a young guy with talent is in there for 15 seconds and Snuka gets a few minutes. What’s the point in that? Taz says that Snuka and Miz live two complete lives. He then throws in different, which helps because I thought they were the same person there for a bit. Nice job clearing that up there buddy. In at number 19 is Roddy Piper. WHY?? To be fair he gets a great pop and looks decent.

Oh good night he took his shirt off. He needs to keep that stupid thing on. Old worlds collide as Piper and Snuka fight with everyone else stopping to watch them fight. Ok, the clock might have made it 30 seconds there as this is ridiculous. Piper is awesome but not in the ring in 2008. Kane comes in at 20 and I think you know the drill. He puts Piper and Snuka out to thankfully clear out the WAY to crowded ring a bit.

It’s still way too full but that’s a lot better. We get a big mess with Shawn, Taker, SNitsky and Umaga as Carlito is 21st. Shawn might have a broken nose. 22 is…Mick Foley? Well, I guess it makes more sense than Snuka and Piper. He gets a HUGE pop. He and Horny qualified together a few weeks before this. They’re chanting his name so I can actually accept this one to an extent.

At the moment we have Taker, Shawn, Morrison, Batista, Horny (under the ring), Punk, Rhodes, Umaga, Snitsky, Miz, Kane, Carlito and Foley. See what I mean about it being too full? To be fair though, that’s an awesome list of people for the most part. Kennedy is 23rd to a freaking ROAR. If he could have stayed healthy and been used right, he could have been a huge deal. Ok no he wouldn’t have been but when he was hot he was very hot.

Freaking Big Daddy V brings the combined talent in the ring down about 1000% though at 24. Snitsky is put out by Taker but he turns around into Sweet Chin Music to eliminate him but before Shawn can turn around Kennedy dumps him. That was fast paced if nothing else. Taker beats on Snitsky because he’s ticked off. Kane beats on BDV who isn’t wearing a shirt and is therefore disturbing. Rhodes is thrown over but skins the cat to stay alive.

WHO CAME UP WITH THAT NAME??? Did wrestling promoters like to skin cats or something? Just a freaking weird choice for a name. Mark Henry is 25th. Miz is in trouble and Horny pops out to pull him out. Punk takes a double headbutt from Henry and V. That can’t hurt that bad as both are hollow.

And here we have the proof that the ECW Title means nothing as Chavo is number 26. He’s a world champion and can have any title shot he wants if he wins. So, could he fight himself? Edge and Orton aren’t in here, yet he is. There’s all the proof you need that the ECW Title means nothing. Kane puts Morrison out. Horny tries to do the same thing to Henry that he did to Miz and he gets pulled back in.

The two big black men try to decide who gets to eat him but Finlay jumps the gun to save him. He uses that club and gets disqualified for it which is nonsense and Horny leaves with him, as both are gone. Elijah “Deangelo Dinero” Burke, who I swear to you has talent and potential even though I’ve never seen it but everyone says he does so it HAS to be true right? Chavo puts out Punk. Don’t worry Punk fans as he would have a much better year in the future.

Batista goes under the bottom rope to the floor. HHH is 29th and so it begins, as everyone starts wondering who number 30 is. There goes Rhodes. Big Daddy V follows. He puts out Foley which is still an awesome sight. This has been way over 90 seconds as to the next entrant. Burke is gone. Umaga takes a Pedigree and there’s the clock.

In easily the biggest Rumble shocker of the all time and arguably one of the biggest shockers in wrestling history, JOHN CENA IS NUMBER THIRTY! He had gotten hurt on October 1st and it was said he would be out until Mania at the least. This was easily the best kept secret in the company probably ever as NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE saw this coming. The LD more or less exploded at the time and with good reason.

This was EPIC. MSG has goes silent and then erupts in about 4 seconds as even New York is stunned. Everyone stops dead in the ring as I wonder who actually knew about this. Oh before I forget the final group is Batista, Umaga, Kane, Carlito, Kennedy, Henry, Chavo, HHH and now Cena. Carlito and Chavo are out in seconds thanks to Cena as the winner is about as obvious as possible now. Henry is out now and there’s your showdown as he walks into HHH.

As they fight you can see Chavo running to the back which is very odd. Batista spears the heck out of Umaga as Kennedy is put out by Batista and then he does the same to Umaga, to make the final four Batista, HHH, Cena and Kane who is put out to get us to three. The IWC was about to commit mass suicide at this point based on these three being the finalists. All three do their taunts to each other and it’s on.

Batista is put out and we’re down to two. And there it is, as Cena becomes the most hated man in New York City in less than ten seconds. Well he is from Boston I guess. In the most predictable elimination in Rumble history, Cena FUs HHH out to end it and go to Mania, even though he would lose in a triple threat that really should have just been HHH vs. Cena. Posing closes the show.

Rating: C-. And most of that is for Cena. This just wasn’t that good of a Rumble as there were too many spots near and after the middle that were just boring beyond belief with nothing of note happening. It was ok, but nothing great at all. Cena’s return is absolutely awesome though and makes the match on all kinds of levels. It’s ok, but there are far better Rumbles.

Overall Rating: C+. I liked it. It’s not a terrible show by any sense of the word, but at the same time, it’s certainly not great. There’s no truly great match on the card but it’s fine for what it is. Cena returning turned the company upside down and more or less reset the whole road to Wrestlemania.

Hardy and Orton is ok but not great at all. There’s decent stuff here, but with just five matches it’s a bit hard to get behind. Check it out for Cena’s return and that’s about all, but don’t avoid it if that makes sense.

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NXT
Date: January 25, 2012
Location: Tucson Arena, Tuscon, Arizona
Commentators: Josh Matthews, William Regal

We enter the second century of episodes of this show and apparently the time has been moved to 10pm EST now. Not that there was any notification of that but an article on there mentioned tuning in then to find out. Anyway, the wedding is over, Bateman and Maxine are together again, and Titus is now a heel. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Titus in an awesome looking suit to open things up. We get a clip of his rant last week against the fans. Titus talks about an apology but means the fans owe him one. The people are booing so this is at least somewhat effective. He says he did everything the fans asked for like taking pictures and he’s gotten nothing out of it. Titus talks about how he’s the big dog and the man around here.

Cue Watson who says he’s been there for Titus since day one. Now Titus wins one match (that’s a stretch isn’t it?) and he’s turning his back on everyone? Watson says the people love Titus and Titus doesn’t buy that. He says the fans don’t love him. Percy loves him, but not the people. Titus says this is just business and he did all the meaningless points and such and now even Percy is dragged into it with the stupid talk show.

He invites Percy to join the dark side because together they’re unstoppable. Percy declines because that isn’t winning. Percy says Titus sounds like Darren Young and that doesn’t sit well with O’Neil. Titus says there’s one option: be with him or against him. That would be two but I’m no NXT rookie. Percy says he’s not with him and drops the mic. Titus drops him so Striker comes out and makes the main event.

In the back, Hawkins and Reks want to know why they’re not in the main event. Striker says worry about the Usos tonight and he’ll worry about NXT.

Usos vs. Tyler Reks/Curt Hawkins

You can really see the issues with tag team wrestling at this point. You only have room for one successful tag team at a time and right now, that’s Primo/Epico so a team like the Usos who are very solid aren’t allowed to get any wins on the main TV shows. It’s a shame too because it’ll probably be a few months before that happens. Jimmy vs. Hawkins to start as Regal talks about dancing.

Reks tries to jump Jimmy which doesn’t work at all. Hawkins tries to come in but has to duck a superkick. The heels take over and my goodness this place has gone silent. It’s almost eerie. Reks takes over on Jimmy with a quarter nelson and it’s back to Hawkins. Suplex gets two. Reks hammers away and the announcers talk about how every star is eligible for the Rumble. I’m not entirely sure what that means. I believe it means champions but I’m not sure.

Jimmy finally gets a shot to the ribs and the fans wake up for the tag to Jey. He jumps and spins around a lot as he hits the running hip attack in the corner, which ISN’T RIKISHI’S MOVE!!! Everything breaks down and Hawkins hits kind of a mat slam for two. The cane is brought in but Jey superkicks Hawkins for the pin at 5:20.

Rating: C-. I’m sure you all know the drill here: this match has happened so many times and it’s still not interesting. There’s nothing being gained from these matches and the Usos aren’t going to get on TV other than anything as guys that get to lose to Primo/Epico so the champs can continue to bore people to death.

Bateman is very happy when Kaitlyn asks why Bateman would go back to Maxine. He says if I have to be here, be here with a hot chick. Curtis is here too apparently, because saying THIS ENDS doesn’t end a thing.

Heath Slater vs. Trent Barretta

Regal says Trent makes him want to compete again. Slater takes over early and knocks him to the floor as Regal talks about being a world champion. Slater keeps control and loudly calls spots as he sends Trent into the corner. A charge misses and Trent takes him down with an enziguri. A running knee gets two. Northern lights suplex gets the same. He goes up and Slater runs the ropes and gets a powerslam off the top for two. That was pretty cool. Trent sets for a DDT but Slater escapes and charges at Trent, jumps around him and pulls him down in kind of a jumping spinning sleeper drop for the pin at 4:41.

Rating: C-. Not bad again and if I remember right, that’s Slater’s first win since something like July. He’s a jobber so that’s to be expected, but over Barretta? Why? Anyway this wasn’t bad, although I’m really getting tired of these annoying finishers which have mostly sucked anymore. Doesn’t anyone use basic moves anymore?

We get a clip from the wedding last week and Maxine rejoining Bateman. Here’s Curtis but Bateman interrupts him. Maxine complains about being stuck here, Striker says get over it because we have to get along. Maxine makes them shake hands and they get slapped. That’s it.

Rumble by the Numbers. That’s always cool.

Titus O’Neil vs. Percy Watson

Percy controls to start but Titus beats him down and throws him to the floor. He’s still in purple and does the dog bark so there isn’t much different here. O’Neil pounds him down into the corner and hooks a chinlock. Titus hammers him in the corner and hooks a chinlock. Some of you may be noticing a pattern here. Oh wait Titus told the fans to shut up. He must be evil then. Watson gets his first offense in including a clothesline, a splash and a shoulder block. Spinning splash gets two. Persecution is countered and a very bad looking Clash of the Titus ends this at 5:49.

Rating: D-. What a miserable match. Titus is just not cut out to be a heel, or at least he’s really bad at it. The problem is that he’s the same guy that he’s been the entire time now and he’s still stuck here so nothing has changed, which means the turn didn’t really do anything. Terrible match and basically a squash.

Titus beats him down even more until Alex Riley makes the save. I like that style: just bring in random people for basic stories and matches as a result.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t horrible but it’s very much about the same things we’ve seen all the time. Bateman and Curtis didn’t do anything of note here and I really hope it doesn’t turn into yet another tag team. Without titles, there’s no real point to them all fighting because there’s nothing to fight over. Not a terrible show, but until the major problems are fixed, this show isn’t going anywhere.

Results
Usos b. Tyler Reks/Curt Hawkins – Superkick to Hawkins
Heath Slater b. Trent Barretta – Jumping Sleeper Drop
Titus O’Neil b. Percy Watson – Clash of the Titus

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Royal Rumble 2009
Date: January 25, 2009
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 16,685
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Matt Striker, Todd Grisham

There are really no differences at all between this and what you see today other than a few face and heel changes. Everyone is here for the most part other than Christian I think. Yeah there’s just not much that’s changed since then other than DX reuniting. We have five matches tonight, one of which is the new Smackdown Champion Jeff Hardy in his first title defense against Edge, although someone has been trying to get him lately.

Also we have Cena defending against JBL in the token title match of the year. Other than that it’s just the Rumble which more or less was the most predictable match in history as all of one person was mentioned at all in the buildup to it. That being said, let’s get to it.

The opening video is the standard thing of all the Rumble winners and all of the logos but it’s cut off by Orton’s music and clips of him being a bastard to the insanely hot Stephanie. Vince gets kicked in the head to stun the crowd. Yeah, they’re not making it obvious at all who was going to win here.

The slow motion replay of the kick shows that it’s INSANE. There’s no pyro for the opening as it’s all serious and stuff. In other words, the fans get cheated to a special part of the show for Vince. Oh never mind there’s the pyro. Still kind of stupid though.

ECW Title: Matt Hardy vs. Jack Swagger

Jack was the undefeated rookie here, having won the title two and a half weeks ago. This is the mostly pointless rematch. Matt gets a great pop and I wonder why he’s never been pushed harder than he has been yet. It’s a shame that Swagger is being depushed, but to be fair tonight for the Little People Court Raw he had a good match with Cena so maybe the push is back. He has no pyro yet so that sucks. We even get the big match intros here.

Since it’s 2009, Swagger is a cowardly heel at the beginning. Hardy brawls for the most part as Striker points out that he can’t out wrestle him so why try? That’s a great point at least. We get a replay of a great right hand from Matt. That was sweet. Hardy is doing really well so you know how it’s going to end in case it wasn’t clear yet. Swagger works on the arm which is the one he uses for the Twist of Fate. I know because Striker told me.

See why he’s the best in the world today? Swagger is working the shoulder really hard here and uses some unique stuff, including a boot to the shoulder. That’s something I’ve seen a few times but rarely enough that it’s effective. I’m not sure if I like or dislike the big 2 signs in the front row for counts. They always disappear after the first match so I’m guessing someone takes it from them or they get tired of it.

Striker goes way too insane by saying who the last North Carolinian to win a world title in Detroit (Steamboat in 87). That’s saying a lot. This is a good match with a lot of close calls. They’re getting some time too so that helps a lot. Hardy goes into the post as it was already hurt. Swagger hits the powerbomb for the pin to retain and let us hear his awesome music. Hardy sits on the steps with his head in his hands. Remember that for later.

Rating: B. I really liked this. It was a decent length of about ten minutes and had a ton of close calls and near falls. The arm stuff was good and it played into the ending to give it some psychology. That gives it most of what makes a great match so this is easily solid for an opener.

Orton is here and no one is talking to him. They’re making this seem like the big deal that it’s supposed to be.

Raw Women’s Title: Melina vs. Beth Phoenix

Melina is gyrating like there’s no tomorrow and it’s working very well. Beth is with Santino here but it’s getting close to the end. Santina would be debuting soon enough to suck the life out of everything again. Beth is just freaking gorgeous. I love that backflip she does to get into the ring. Santino gets a massive chant, proving that no one cares about the women and care about comedy.

Thank you Vince for crippling wrestling and making the comedy more important. Beth very clearly calls a spot to Melina and then whips her in. Beth shows off her power by lifting Melina up with one arm. That’s just freaking scary. Beth’s thong is sticking out which is of course awesome. She gets a leg lock on Melina that’s in so deep that her foot is touching her head. That can’t feel good. Beth actually pulls the leg back to ram it into her head. FREAKING OW MAN!

They botch the heck out of something as Melina is trying to come back. Melina hits an INSANE move where she spins around Beth’s side to get the rollup for the title. That was awesome looking.

Rating: C-. There were far too many botches in there but the submission thing and the ending were both cool. It was your standard Diva match so that’s not saying a lot. Melina’s selling of her back was great here though and it helped the match a lot. Not bad, but still far from great due to the sloppiness. They had a submission match soon after this.

We recap the JBL vs. Cena feud, which is mainly about the JBL and HBK feud over the money or whatever. It was stupid and one of those “real” angles that never work for me. It’s like saying Shawn makes no money from wrestling or anything like that which is just ridiculous. Being conservative, let’s say Shawn makes a quarter million a year. That’s FAR more than enough to live a decent life, but he needs to be sold to JBL to make ends meet?

Shawn more or less lays down for JBL to get the pin. The problem that plagued this at the end was that it ended way too fast. It should have been at Mania instead of No Way Out. To be fair though, that wound up being the wrong choice as Shawn and JBL did what they should have done at Mania.

We see JBL and Shawn in the back and JBL says that if he wins tonight, Shawn is a free man and paid in full and can be in the Rumble. JBL leaves and Shawn looks in a mirror for awhile and then turns around to have Taker staring down at him. He says that sometimes you have to go through pain to get to Heaven. Yeah they did the right thing.

Ad for Mania.

Raw World Title: JBL vs. John Cena

Cena was kind of casually mentioned in the package. Until the Taker cameo, I would have believed a title change here. The crowd is split on Cena as always. I would have actually believed them going with JBL vs. Shawn, but Taker switched me to reality. The idea here is that Cena is off his game because he has to keep his eye on Shawn. For instance, they’re on the floor and Cena ducks a clothesline but Shawn is in front of him and Cena gets ready to duck the superkick and JBL gets a shot in.

Never mind that the kick would have cost JBL the match but whatever. JBL had lost a bunch of weight at this point and actually looked like he was in very good shape. He lost probably 40 or 50 pounds and actually had a stomach. Shawn is more or less stoic on the floor. There’s a Ram Jam sign in the crowd, which is the finisher of the main character in The Wrestler.

We cut to a shot of Shawn about once every 30 seconds as Cena is more or less a pawn in this, which is ok I guess as this was just another title match for him. Cena has the STFU but due to Shawn standing there he gets nervous and JBL can get out. The Clothesline From JBL hits but it just gets two. There goes the referee and we have a bad looking double clothesline spot. Oddly enough we can see the ECW announce table over Shawn’s shoulder and there’s no Todd Grisham. That’s most odd.

Shawn gets in the ring and starts tuning up the band. He kicks Cena and JBL begins his second world title reign. Yeah I don’t buy that either. Oh of course he kicks JBL. Ok he kicks Cena too. He lays JBL on top of Cena as Cole says he doesn’t get it. That might be because Cole is freaking stupid. Yeah it must be. Shawn leaves and shakes his head as Cole tries to figure out the complexity of this.

Have fun Mikey boy as it doesn’t exist. Another referee comes out and we get two. Both guys are out as Cena kicks out so it looks like he’s spooning JBL. DANG that first referee has been out for a long time. He got ran into not freaking shot. Cena gets an easy FU for the pin. Oddly enough it has no name here and was called his move by Lawler in the replay.

Rating: C. Usual stuff from these two with the focus on JBL and Shawn like it should have been. That’s ok here though as it set up the big blowoff with them next month. Like I said Cena was more or less a pawn here and that’s all he should have been. This got JBL and Shawn much further along and it worked well. The match wasn’t that good but it rarely was with these two so what are you going to do.

Buy Legends of Wrestlemania and screw up history.

We recap Edge vs. Hardy which was the result of the Stairwell “Atrocity”. Basically, it seemed like someone wanted to hurt Jeff. There was that, plus him and his girlfriend being run off the road, and him having his face burned by pyro. I went to a house show a few weeks after that and he didn’t appear because of it. I’ve never seen so many kids look so sad. Anyway, Edge denied everything as he was the obvious most likely suspect. This is Jeff’s first title defense.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

Wow. Back in 2000 or 2001 who would have thought that would be realistic? Jeff is WAY over. The celebration for him winning the title was absolutely perfect. My goodness I want to freaking shoot Vickie. Oh she’s Edge’s wife at the moment. It’s no DQ now also. Edge is flanked by Chavo. Edge gets speared as the bell rings, which is stupid as he didn’t need to since there’s no DQ. The WE WANT CHRISTIAN chant starts in about 10 seconds.

Christian would debut again in 16 days and he was already done with TNA and had made it known that he was coming back to WWE. You know the more I watch these shows, the more spots I see called by guys. I wonder if that’s just because I’ve seen a lot or if it’s because it’s becoming more of an issue with these young guys. After Jeff dominates for a bit, Chavo’s interference gives Edge the advantage.

Now we get some stupid hockey jokes after Edge slams his head into the table three times. Geez there’s another called spot. And now it’s weapons time as Edge brings in a chair which doesn’t work. While both are on the apron, Jeff hits a Twist of Fate which pretty much sucked. And there’s the ladder because Jeff is the Sabu of the WWE. Chavo makes a save but gets thrown off and jumped on. Jeff jumps off onto Edge.

I use the term jump loosely as he more or less falls and the splash turns into a headbutt. It looked ok but sloppy. Passable at least. This is the referee with the hitch in his count which is annoying . Edge counters the Twist of Fate into a DDT which impresses JR. Why? It’s not like that move has never been countered before. That’s why it never worked as a big time move. Think of the leg drop or the Sharpshooter or the Stunner in the earlier days of it or the tombstone.

When one of those connected, it was OVER. Jeff and Edge never had one of those, which is what makes them look weak. Vickie comes out and breaks up the pin off the Swanton. Here’s Matt with a chair and you can feel it coming. The crowd just goes silent over the chair shot and the look from Matt is GREAT.

This was an awesome moment with Edge looking back and forth with an awesome what the heck just happened look on his face. The complete lack of commentary here helps a lot. Matt walks away stoically. This would lead to their two match series that sucked because they didn’t go anywhere near as insane as they could have.

Rating: B-. Not bad but not great here. They had their standard good match that went about 20 minutes. That’s all you need really at the end of the day. The real story here was of course Matt vs. Jeff which is fine as it was a great story that the matches couldn’t live up to. They went fine though here and that’s fine.

Ad for No Way Out, which is now just called Elimination Chamber.

Orton says he’s not worried about Vince. This was the start of the STUPID mental disorder or whatever it was. That could have worked if he never said he didn’t have it or whatever but the whole thing was just stupid. Jericho shows up and says good job on kicking Vince in the head.

We get a recap of all of the Rumbles which never gets old. This is the really cool one with the following stats, accurate as of coming into the 09 Rumble:

22 winners (in 21 matches, but remember Luger and Hart were co-winners)

598 competitors (this is odd as there was one match with only 20 entrants and I don’t think there are enough to knock out twelve people over the years, unless they’re counting all the times where a guy gets beaten up on the way to the ring)

36 people that Austin eliminated, a record that Kane will likely break someday.

11 people that Kane threw out in 2001 which is insane

11 consecutive Rumbles for Kane, which is awesome

1 woman ever for Chyna

62 minutes 12 seconds which is the official record I guess, even though if you listen to the commentary for the 92 Rumble Flair was in for about 70 or so, which was false.

2 seconds that the Warlord lasted.

3 times that Austin won, which is also a record

1, the number with the same amount of winners as number 30, which is insane when you think about it. Note that in the video for this they only show Shawn when talking about the number one spot.

27, which has had 4 winners (Studd, Yoko, Hart, Austin in 2001)

70 which is the percent that since 1993 that the winner has won the world title at Mania.

This was an AWESOME package that got me completely in the mood for a great Rumble.

Royal Rumble

90 second intervals this year. Rey has number one and Morrison number two. If they had any idea what kind of a classic they would have in the fall they would be amazed. Rey’s mask makes him looking like a member of the Klan. Ross and Lawler are doing the commentary which just makes this feel right. One thing I like that they’ve got going here is they have a big Mania 25 logo in the corner of the arena and everyone keeps pointing to it.

Miz and Morrison are of course tag champions here. Rey does an awesome spinning move around John to get to an arm drag. Number three is Carlito. He’s a face here as he’s part of the Smackdown tag champions which would be unified at Mania. Oh no wait it was before Mania because we had to have a Kid Rock medley. MVP, just having turned face is 4th. Khali is 5th as not a lot is happening. He of course dominates the whole thing and chops the heck out of them all.

I hated the match he had with Rey when Rey was world champion. It completely killed Rey’s credibility for months. Kozlov, still undefeated and with a decent amount of heat is 6th. He drops Khali in about 5 seconds. MVP and Carlito are both out now so it’s Rey, Morrison who has been hiding and Vlady. It’s HHH at number 7 to a roar. After a facebuster, HHH throws him out with ease. Orton is 8th and it’s on.

The clock came up very fast for him as I’m assuming HHH was afraid of being in there with two good workers like Morrison and Rey. Morrison gets a 619 and Cryme Tyme come out and flip a coin to decide who gets in and it’s JTG. The clock is going WAY too fast here as DiBiase is 10th. Morrison and JTG both go over but hang on and kick at each other in a cool looking spot and then DiBiase and Rey do it and then HHH and Orton do it. That’s either cool or stupid.

Jericho is 11th. Well no one can say that they’re sticking with small stars in the opening. Despite the star power, not a lot of interesting anything is going on, mainly because it’s so clear Orton will win. Mike Knox and the beard of awesome is 12th. Knox would somehow manage to get into the Elimination Chamber next month which blew my mind and sucked at the same time. Miz is 13th.

He was about to start making fun of Cena and becoming the awesome character that he still is to this day. Morrison takes a sweet RKO and then so does Miz and JTG. He gets stopped by a Pedigree as HHH throws out Morrison and Miz while Finlay is 14th.

In a SWEET spot, Rey goes over the top to the floor but walks on Miz and Morrison to stay alive. That was awesome. How in the world are we almost halfway done with this? Rhodes is number 15. Rey gets a springboard and Orton takes him down with an RKO. The lights go out and Taker is sixteenth. Taker is on one side of the ring and everyone else is on the other. He beats them all up and throws out JTG with ease of course.

The crowd is way into him. That’s why he’s still getting pushed. Gold freaking Dust is 17th. WHY does he still have a job? He has no gimmick and is slipping in the ring. He and Cody have a showdown and Goldie beats him up. This is being written on December 23rd. My wish for Cody: that he makes 1/10 of the impact Goldust made. He’s got a long way to go. Rhodes puts out Rhodes and Orton is very proud. Punk gets number 18.

That pop doesn’t exist according to Vince as he deserves to be jobbed to Cena in less than two minutes. He won the IC Title about two weeks prior to this and the Triple Crown in less than a year. That’s amazing. Vince disagrees apparently. Yeah I’m a Punk mark, get over it. He hits GTS on HHH which surprises me. Henry, still a heel and not yet the Kool Aid Man is 19th.

The ring is WAY too full here with twelve or thirteen people in there. Shelton, the US Champion, is 20th. Punk and Jericho are on the top for some reason and Shelton does a running double Downward Spiral to them, which is called a reverse DDT by JR because he’s an idiot. Regal is 21st and he’s the guy that Punk beat for the IC Title.

Mysterio puts Henry out which is of course perfectly fine. Kofi, still not a big deal at all but getting very popular very fast, is 22nd. Taker is bleeding which I’d assume is hardway and he throws out Shelton. Kane is 23rd. Rey is upside down and hanging on in a weird looking position. Lawler counts 12 or 13 people in there. Kane and Taker hook up for awhile for a double chokeslam on DiBiase. Punk puts Regal out. R-Truth is 24th.

There are WAY too many people in there and even more just laying around and doing absolutely nothing at the moment. That’s the problem with having people last a long time in there. They’re used to ten to twenty minute matches at most so this is the equivalent of a rest hold. Rob freaking Van Dam is 25th to an EPIC pop. The whole match stops to watch.

Something that would crack me up is if they didn’t know he was coming. He does his top rope kick to Kane who just watches it happen. I know there’s no point in having him in there as there’s no way he’ll win, but he’s a WRESTLER and a former world champion. There’s his validation. Kendrick is 26th. He manages to put Kofi out and then be thrown out in 15 seconds. Van Dam is just so ridiculously over it’s scary.

Dolph Ziggler, still meaning nothing, is 27th. He runs into Kane resulting in a quick elimination. There are at least 14 people in there and most of them are doing nothing with maybe 4 really working in there. Ross actually says they’re trying to keep up with the action. Santino is 28 and breaks Warlord’s record by being clotheslined out in 1 second by Kane who was right there. Hogan got a running start to put out Warlord which explains the time lapse.

HHH and Taker go at it which is always awesome. Jim Freaking Duggan is 29th. REALLY? This is what ticks people off about the modern WWE. Shad can’t get in there? Primo can’t? Instead we put a 50 year old jobber in there instead. Yes he’s won before but we don’t wheel Luger out to be in there also.

Big Show is number 30, so here’s your final group. You may need a pillow as this might last into the night. The group is Rey, HHH, DiBiase, Jericho, Knox, Finlay, Rhodes, Taker, Punk, Kane, R-Truth, RVD, Duggan and Show. That’s 14 people. DO YOU THINK THAT’S ENOUGH? Well since they’re all in here let’s get rid of them. Everyone stops except Duggan who keeps punching someone while everyone else stops to watch which looks really stupid.

He and Taker have their requited showdown and Kane does the required run in to stop it. Show puts out Duggan. Jericho jumps on Show which is amusing now. Truth gets thrown out by Show after a beating. Show throws Punk over three times and then knocks him the heck out with a right hand. Punk’s selling is masterful. You know, the selling he demonstrated when he tapped to Cena in 2 minutes at the Slammies because that made SO much sense right?

Show puts out Knox and Rey as Horny comes in for no apparent reason and then Kane eliminates Finlay. Van Dam nods at a referee which I’d assume means something. Show and Taker go at it of course because that has to happen at least once every six months. Yeah Van Dam goes out soon after so I’m assuming a referee signaled that he was next out or something. I’ve always wondered how they knew when to do that.

Taker puts out Jericho and we’re down to seven. We’ve got Legacy, the big trio and HHH. There goes Kane, shocking no one as he jobs first. Legacy goes after Taker which is surprising. Taker counters with a double clothesline and a chokeslam for Orton. He doesn’t throw him over because he has to win though. Taker and Show have a boxing match or something resembling one. Taker has somehow shrunk from 7’0 to 6’11 to 6’10 to now 6’9 over the years.

Orton tries and RKO but just gets shoved off which never gets old. Taker and Show fight on the apron and Orton puts Show out who then pulls Taker out. Priceless being caught in a double choke by Taker made me imagine them in the locker room and Taker saying boys I’ve got cups older than you so sit down. That leaves us with Legacy and HHH as it’s all about him again.

This is a step down from HHH, Batista, Cena and Kane from last year. You ever notice how HHH is ALWAYS around near the end of these things? He was close in 98, won in 2002, 3rd in 2006, 2nd in 2008 and 2nd in 2009. That’s most interesting isn’t it? He of course throws out Legacy and then Orton dumps him for the completely inevitable win. Massive posing takes us out.

Rating: D. This just wasn’t that good. WAY too many people and WAY too much laying around just drained the life out of it. Van Dam coming in was great but Orton was so clearly the winner here that it sucked the life out of it. That’s something I burned Sly on once as he said that this was one of the best Rumbles ever and then slipped and said that the way you determine a good Rumble is by saying anyone could win.

I asked who else could have won in 09. I’m waiting on a reply to that and it’s been nearly a year boss. Anyway, this wasn’t interesting to me back then or now as it was just about HHH vs. the world and that’s simply not interesting. Of course, they would feud for the majority of the year and kill Raw in the process, but Vince is in love with Orton despite what ratings say so there we go.

Overall Rating: B+. Rumble aside, this is a great show. You have four solid matches with drama and title changes and storyline advancement. What more could you ask for out of this thing? I really liked it and it came out very well. The Rumble itself was pretty bad but then again so was Raw as a whole this year. As for the show, watch it but stop the DVD before the Rumble but after the Rumble package.

So that’s the Royal Rumble up til now. Since this is December 23rd, I have no idea what the 2010 card is going to look like so I have no predictions. Overall, the Rumble is the epitome of hit or miss in the company as some like 92 and 04 are classics and great matches while some like 95 or 99 make you long for a 2000 WCW PPV. It’s been able to make stars like Benoit and Shawn while at the same time some have won it and then done nothing like Duggan, Studd and that Austin guy.

It’s the most unique battle royal in wrestling and it’s the real start to Mania which is what it should be. That first three months or even four months of the year is predicated on this one match and other than one year it’s always been at least a 40 minute match so you’re in for a long one. This is definitely something special, and to think it all started so Vince could screw Crockett. Anyway, tomorrow is the Rumble and I’ll likely be pumped.

Sheamus is currently world champion and I still can’t get over that. Anyway, thanks for reading this and I hope you liked it. That wraps up the big four but I’ll be around with random reviews and some stuff from other companies so keep reading or start if you haven’t read this. Wait what?

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Great American Bash 2008
Date: July 20, 2008
Location: Nassau Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 12,454
Commentators: Jim Ross, Mick Foley, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Mike Adamle

This is the last of the Bashes and the card looks pretty good. The main event is for the Smackdown Title and is one of the few big matches that never got a big time PPV main event slot: HHH defends against Edge. Other than that we have a parking lot brawl with JBL vs. Cena and Jericho vs. Michaels in a match where HBK’s eye is bad. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Vickie and Edge’s wedding. Edge them cheated on her with wedding planner Alicia Fox but this was ok I guess. The rest of the video is about the matches I mentioend.

Oh and this is officially the last show before PG began.

Smackdown Tag Titles: John Morrison/The Miz vs. Finlay/Hornswoggle vs. Jesse/Festus vs Curt Hawkins/Zack Ryder

Miz and Morrison are defending. Festus is Luke Gallows who freaks out at the sound of a bell. Jesse and Festus clear the ring so the champs send Horny in to fight him. Smart move guys. Horny wants to try it but instead dives through the ropes to take out the champ. Festus vs. Miz gets us going officially. Off to Jesse with the only world champion to be found in this match in trouble.

Morrison and Finlay come in and the Irishman is in trouble. Foley asks why you would tag into someone on another team since this is one fall to a finish. Miz and Morrison use various nefarious techniques to hurt Finley and it’s off to the chinlock. Miz and Morrison switch in and out twice and Finlay gets in a shot. I don’t think Hawkins and Ryder have been in yet and as I say that Ryder comes in to steal a pin attempt, getting two.

The former Edgeheads/Major Brothers hammer away on Finlay but he counters into the rolling fireman’s carry slam, whatever that was called. The Irish Club is brought in and I don’t know who got hit as Miz and Morrison ran in to break it up. Finlay gets in a shot on I think Hawkins and it’s off to Horny. Jesse tags himself in to beat on Hawkins. There’s the not hot tag to Festus and he cleans house. He and Jesse load up a rocket launcher but Ryder pulls Festus to the floor and Jesse gets slammed off the top. Hawkins pins Jesse for the surprise title win.

Rating: C-. Hey, you ever seen one of those multi team tag matches where not a lot really happens because there are so many teams that nothing can get going at all and no one is able to get anything going and the ending is a big mess with a team that didn’t do much stealing the win and it wasn’t bad but you’ve seen something just like it before? Well this was one of those matches.

US Title: Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin

Shelton is the Gold Standard and challenger. The announcers point out that no one has ever lost the title at the Bash and of course they treat it like the same show as the WCW incarnation. Shelton takes over with a headlock but Matt takes over with an armdrag of his own. A quick Pay Dirty (Little Jimmy) and Twist of Fate are both countered and Matt takes over again.

Matt tries to skin the cat but Shelton dropkicks him to the floor. Shelton rams him into the post to take over. The fans are into this and I presume they’re behind Hardy but I can’t really tell. It might be split. Matt tries a Side Effect but Shelton counters into an STO for two. The Dragon Whip looks to set up the Stinger Splash but Matt counters. Middle rope leg and sunset flip get two for Matt. Twist attempt is countered and Shelton looks for a middle rope belly to back superplex but Matt knocks him off. Moonsault gets knees and Pay Dirt gives Benjamin the title.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad but I really didn’t get into it. Matt was certainly better as a guy that was chasing the title rather than actually holding it. Matt would go on to win the ECW Title soon after this as Shelton would hold the US Title for like 8 months and then would just chill on ECW until being released in 2010.

On Monday, Punk said Batista saved him so that Batista would get his shot tonight because Punk is the easier victory. He says he’s not the biggest or the strongest or anything like that. He’s the man that proves everyone wrong, CM Punk, World Heavyweight Champion. I like that ending.

Here’s a video from Smackdown where HHH showed Edge cheating on Vickie with Fox (not yet a Diva).

ECW Title: Mark Henry vs. Tommy Dreamer

Henry is champion and Dreamer is challenging because he’s Tommy Dreamer and it’s the ECW Title. Oh Mike Adamle: how I forgot about you. Tony Atlas is with Henry here. Dreamer has Colin Delaney with him. Delaney is a jobber that Barry Horowitz would laugh at. Dreamer charges at Henry because he’s not that smart. Single leg fails miserably. Mark runs him down and this is pure dominance as expected. Henry steps on his face. That has to hurt.

Henry grabs the wrist and works on the arm for absolutely no logical reason. Dude YOU’RE MARK FREAKING HENRY! GO DESTROY A SMALL CITY! The fans correctly chant boring and I’d be doing it too….maybe. Now back to the arm. The fans try to cheer for Dreamer but he gets beaten even worse. A splash (called the World’s Strongest Slam by Adamle but corrected by Tazz) misses and here comes Dreamer. A neckbreaker gets two for Tommy. DDT puts Henry down but Atlas distracts. Dreamer goes after him and then goes up, where Delaney turns on him, shoving him off. The Slam ends this.

Rating: D-. What a boring match. Tazz freaking out over Delaney turning is kind of funny. This went nowhere at all and was a VERY boring match with Henry literally crushing him for most of the match, other than that weird arm stuff. Dreamer would beat up Delaney for awhile before they finally got rid of his worthless self.

We recap Shawn vs. Jericho. This is kind of a complicated one. So Shawn retired Flair at Mania and Batista was MAD about it. He demanded a match with Shawn and got it at Backlash. Jericho was referee for some reason. Shawn claimed to injure his knee and won anyway. Jericho had Shawn on the Highlight Reel and said Shawn faked it. Shawn denied it but Jericho persisted. Eventually Shawn admitted he was faking it but Jericho wanted more of a confession than that. It turned into them arguing about who was better and then Jericho accidentally (allegedly) injured Shawn’s eye. Shawn is coming back tonight.

Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels

They stare each other down and here we go. It’s a slugout to start and Jericho controls early. Shawn may have bad ribs but he manages to get in a shot at Jericho’s knee to take over. There’s a reverse Figure Four and Jericho is in trouble early on. Jericho gets in a shot though and the springboard dropkick to the apron makes Shawn backflip on the apron and land on the floor.

Jericho works on the ribs but mixes in some face shots (remember the eye) to show some very nice psychology. Shawn hits the forearm and nips up but the kick is countered into the Walls. He manages to get the rope and fires another kick which is blocked as well. Clothesline gets two for Shawn. Shawn loads up the big elbow but Chris crotches him. Jericho loads up a superplex but gets knocked off and Shawn can hit the elbow.

Here’s Jericho flunkie Lance Cade who breaks up the superkick but Shawn manages to avoid a Codebreaker attempt. Jericho gets a rollup for two and is then promptly launched to the floor. Shawn goes up and tries a moonsault to take out both guys but mostly splits them to crash to the floor. That looked PAINFUL. Jericho pops him with an elbow and the eye is bleeding. Jericho turns into a shark, going after the eye.

Shawn is covered in blood quickly and just has his hands up to try to defend himself but Jericho goes right for the eye with punches. Cade even gets in a shot. Shawn keeps saying don’t stop it. Jericho rams in headbutts and Shawn is in big trouble. Out of NOWHERE Shawn grabs a Crossface but Jericho breaks it pretty quickly. There is blood all over Jericho and Shawn.

Shawn makes the referee promise not to stop it so Jericho hammers away even more. They check it again and Jericho asks if Shawn said keep it going. He’s told Shawn said yes so Jericho kicks him in the face. Even Jericho’s hair has blood on it. Chris traps Shawn’s eyes and shouts in his face as he gets in a bunch of unprotected shots until the referee finally stops it.

Rating: B. It was a great beating and a great example of how blood can help a match and visual a lot, but it didn’t quite reach epic levels, probably due to the ending just being a repeat of everything that had happened for the majority of the match. They would have better matches coming up, but this certainly wasn’t a bad one.

Shawn gets his eye checked post match to eat up some of the ton of time they have left on this show.

Edge is surprised when JR asks him how he feels. He says HHH has taken away his personal life and this is all he has left. All Edge can do is take the WWE Title.

Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Natalya

This is for the inaugural title and there’s probably some stupid tournament that set this up. Michelle takes her to the mat and speeds things up. Natalya takes over and hooks a surfboard but Michelle counters (impressively so) into a heel hook attempt which is countered. Nattie hooks the Sharpshooter but Michelle gets the ropes. A second attempt is countered into the heel hook and Michelle wins the title.

Rating: D. The joke here was that hopefully Michelle enjoyed the Undertaker semen that came with that belt. I’m not sure how much anyone cared or if anyone on the planet that didn’t work for WWE thinks there was a need for another female title, but they unified it…eventually, as in like two years later.

Jericho comes out to interrupt the celebration and says keep your ticket stubs because this was the night of Shawn’s last match. Shawn has a detached retina, meaning he’s finished.

We recap the Raw Title match. Punk won MITB and cashed in on Edge after Batista destroyed Edge to open a Raw. Batista I guess too offense to Punk winning the title that way and treated Punk like an easy challenger, which to be fair is how he’s been treated since.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Batista

Punk looks like a kid. He has to stick and move to avoid the power game but Batista gets in a clothesline and boot for two. Batista gets sent to the floor and Punk hits a baseball slide. A suicide dive is mostly countered. I was at a house show about two weeks before this so I saw a lot of these spots before they happened here. Batista reverses a whip into the corner which Lawler calls a desperation move.

It’s amazing hearing Cole and Lawler as a decent commentary team. Cole is good at setting up King with softball questions to knock out of the park. Lawler needs someone to lead him in and then he can more than take care of himself on there. Batista hooks a camel clutch which is broken pretty quickly. There’s a leg lariat by Punk to send Big Dave to the floor. Top rope cross body gets two.

Punk goes for the corner knee but gets caught in a Bomb attempt. Batista takes him down and shakes the ropes. Here’s another try at the Bomb but he grabs the rope again. The corner knee hits and a GREAT high kick takes Big Dave down. Into the corner and Punk grabs the arm which he pulls back over the ropes. That looked cool. Punk hammers away but walks into a clothesline. A charge goes into the post and they head to the floor where Batista KILLS PUNK DEAD with a spinebuster. And here’s Kane for the DQ. Big Dave wins.

Rating: D+. I knew that ending was coming and I still rolled my eyes. This was getting to be something good, but at the end of the day Punk looked beaten and Kane came in. It’s REALLY not going to hurt Batista to go down to a rollup or something. Punk never really had a chance in this title reign and never lost the title. Hate that ending.

Wait…..HOW IS THAT A DOUBLE DQ???? KANE NEVER TOUCHE……oh screw it. Batista powerbombs Punk post match.

We recap Cena vs. JBL. JBL declared martial law because Punk was champion. He had private security carry Cena out. Cena and Cryme Tyme came out and helped Punk keep the title. This turned into the usual culture war of these two. A parking lot brawl was proposed and accepted. JBL attempted to run Cena over in one of the dumbest looking spots you’ll ever see. There was a camera in the car and from where Cena would have been sitting. Jibbles missed of course.

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

This is in “the parking lot” and likely was taped earlier today for the most part. JBL is in a shirt and tie and has a crowbar. He takes the tie off at least. They have the circle of cars set up and a referee out there. Something metal hits the ground but we don’t know where it was from. Now a car turns on and Cena drives it at the car JBL is standing on. Ok now it’s on.

Cena chokes him with jumper cables. Then he slams a car hood on him. Now he jumps JBL’s balls. That would kind of, um, KILL HIM. Cena picks up an oil drum and chucks it at a car which JBL tries to escape in. Bradshaw gets in some shots but nothing significant. They knock a car door off. Cena went through it so JBL takes over. Powerbomb on a car gets two. Cena gets dropped on the top of a car for two.

Cena goes through a window and isn’t busted open. Did they hit the blood quota earlier or something? This is really dull by the way. Cena is knocked down then thrown into the back of a car and JBL goes to get a gas can out of his limo. He covers the car with the gas and throws a lighter on it. Uh yeah I’m done here. They put it out but JBL is stealing a forklift. Cena gets out and Bradshaw is mad.

They brawl even more and Cena takes over, throwing JBL into a car then into a car. Cena gets the forklift and spears the car. He lifts the car up and drives the forklift into the arena. JBL gets beaten up on the stage. There’s the Shuffle and Cena loads up the FU. Instead of flipping the fool like a clam shelled cellular phone, he walks towards the car and JBL escapes and throws Cena off the stage into the windshield for the pin.

Rating: N/A. This had nothing to do with wrestling. It was bad, whatever it was. They got WAY too ridiculous here and I’m sure the fans loved seeing a total of maybe three minutes of this live. They were setting up JBL as the next challenger to Punk and Cena moved onto Batista, but this was still bad.

We recap Edge vs. HHH. The whole wedding thing is recapped again but in greater detail. I think that’s about it to the story.

HHH says he regrets nothing.

Smackdown World Title: HHH vs. Edge

How this is used at the Bash and not Wrestlemania I’m not sure. Edge takes him down immediately and they head to the floor. HHH throws him into the barricade and a big forearm back in the ring puts Edge outside again. HHH misses a charge and Edge gets a breather. A quick spear by Edge takes Trips down but the Game hammers away. HHH is champion if I forgot to mention that. There hasn’t been a lot of sustained contact in this.

Edge rams him into the barricade and then the apron a few times. Now to the table. Off to a body scissors to work on the injured ribs. HHH escapes and pounds Edge about the head and shoulders. A Canadian dropkick puts HHH down but he comes back with right hands and a clothesline. Facebuster puts Edge on the floor but Edge slides in so he can miss a baseball slide.

Edgecution might have knocked HHH out on the floor but he manages to kick out back inside. Edge goes up but jumps into a slingshot and a DDT of HHH’s own. That’s still my favorite move. It only gets two here but it looked pretty good. Edge-O-Matic gets two. It’s the reverse X-Factor if no one has any idea what that is anymore.

Spear misses and HHH rolls him up for two. Edge kicks him in the head to put HHH right back down as we’re running low on time. Spinebuster takes Edge down but the Pedigree is countered by ramming HHH into the corner. Edge superplexes him down and here’s Alicia Fox. She tries to slid the title in to Edge but Vickie comes out and breaks it up. Now the girls fight in the ring and the fans seem into it. Edge accidentally spears Vickie which I think is what put her back in the wheelchair. The distraction lets the Pedigree end it.

Rating: B-. Good match but it felt kind of there. It’s good but it feels like an afterthought instead of a big time title match, which is what these two should be. Vickie and Alicia had to get into this because that was by far the bigger story and I’m more than ok with it, but it didn’t help the match seeming just there. It was good though.

Overall Rating: C. This was almost the same as the previous year’s but not quite as good from a wrestling perspective. The main event isn’t as good but the show wasn’t bad overall. 2008 was just kind of there as a year for WWE. They were getting some stuff together but it really wasn’t that great. Still though, this wasn’t bad but I’m never going to want to see it again, which happens a lot with these shows.

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