Apparently due to fraternization with a Raw Superstar who hasn’t been named yet.  I was going to say “at least it’s not Vickie” but it’s FREAKING VICKIE.  This is really the best idea they can come up with?  She’s Managing Supervisor rather than GM though.  In other words, she’s GM.

Other than the time it was said that the Glamour Girls beat the Jumping Bomb Angels for the Women’s Tag Titles in Egypt.  You can find the match on the same Coliseum Video as Patterson vs. whatever that South American Champion whose name I can’t remember was in Rio, but the official WWE line is that the tag title change was in Egypt back in the 80s.

And yes, I am that big of a wrestling geek.

I’ve heard this asked before but I’d like to get some answers (serious or comical) to this question:When a GM makes the matches on the fly throughout the night, what was the plan supposed to be beforehand?  Half the time there are about two or three matches that aren’t announced during the show, so what was the rest of the show going to be filled in by?  Most of the time the matches that are made are made due to conflict that happened during the show, so what was going to fill that spot if there wasn’t conflict?

Thoughts?

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 26, 2002
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Summerslam and for once a lot has happened. Lesnar is the new world champion and Rock is gone until about February. On top of that, Shawn beat HHH but HHH destroyed Shawn post match, likely ending his career. Naturally that’s not what happened but at this point that’s the working theory. Also tonight we have a big change at the end of the show which set up things to be like that are in modern times. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Bischoff to open the show. He talks about how historic the show is going to be tonight, talking about things like the Hardcore title being unified with the IC Title and the presentation of a lifetime achievement award to someone. But first, here’s the new world champion Brock Lesnar, along with Heyman of course. Heyman is very proud to be in MSG but says that Lesnar is a bigger deal than Sammartino, Graham and Hogan combined. He told us this would happen, but none of us would listen to him.

Heyman lists off all the things he said would happen and says maybe now the fans will listen to him. Brock gets the mic and says that he’s only 25 and he’s already world champion. He says no one can beat him….and here’s Shawn Michaels? Oh wait it’s HHH screwing with us. Ok HHH doing the Shawn dance is funny stuff. HHH insists Shawn is gone forever and will never get in the ring again.

Remembering that Brock is still in the ring, HHH says that he wore down Rock last week for Lesnar, and now HHH wants the title shot that he himself said Lesnar should give him. Brock takes the belt off and HHH asks if Brock is man enough to play the game. Well we know he’s man enough to have a boring match with HHH that main evented Summerslam in 2012 but we’ll get to that later.

Cue Undertaker to get in on this shindig before the boring begins. Taker says he should get the first shot at Lesnar, who doesn’t object at all. HHH jumps Taker and it’s a two on one beatdown for a few seconds before HHH stares at Lesnar some more. Taker jumps them both and knocks HHH to the floor before slapping Lesnar and kicking him out as well. HHH gets back in but bails a few seconds later. Lesnar looked like a total afterthought here.

Eric makes HHH vs. Taker for the main event for the first shot at Lesnar.

Booker T vs. Christian

This is one of those “tag teams are feuding so here’s a member of each in a singles match” deals. Booker takes Christian down to start but the Ax kick misses. The reverse DDT gets two for Christian and the Canadian takes over. We hit the chinlock and there’s the USA chant. Booker comes back with some elbows and a spin kick for no cover. The spinning sunset flip out of the corner gets two but Christian rolls him up for two with his feet on the ropes. Another elbow puts Christian down and Goldust takes out an interfering Storm. Unprettier is countered into the ax kick for the pin for Booker.

Rating: D+. Nothing much here as it was already known that Booker and Goldust were the more entertaining team, but for some reason the title change didn’t happen last night. This was your usual Raw match where not a lot was changed, which would be the case for these guys for awhile. The titles would change hands two more times before Booker and Goldie got them, which caused the crowd to not care when it happened.

We get a video from some political event from earlier in the day.

Christian yells at Storm in the back when Test shows up. He’s got something planned involving an American flag.

Bubba Ray Dudley/Spike Dudley vs. Christopher Nowitski/William Regal

Molly is with Regal and Chris for some reason. Actually we get a video of HORRIBLE acting of Chris asking Molly to come to the ring with him. Apparently Chris wants to get lucky. His words, not mine. Bubba and Chris start things off with Bubba pounding away in the corner. Off to Spike with a top rope double stomp, one of the moves that always makes me cringe. Regal and Molly crotch Spike on the post and it’s almost immediately the hot tag to Bubba who cleans house. Molly tries her Molly Go Round but winds up taking What’s Up instead. Spike throws in a table but before it’s used, the Bubba Bomb pins Regal.

Rating: D. Another nothing match here which appears to be a theme tonight. The new version of the Dudleys never worked at all and the original team would reunite at the Survivor Series, in this same building actually. Nowitski was all character and no substance, which is the same problem someone like Sandow has to overcome today. This is one of those matches where the best thing you can say it as least it was short.

Nowitski keeps Molly from going through a table so Regal goes through it instead via a Bubba powerbomb (since the Dudley Dog didn’t work).

Bischoff talks to a special guest that we can’t see. That’s up next.

Molly thanks Chris in the back and gives him a hug.

The special guest is Jimmy Snuka who is here to receive a lifetime achievement award. We get a highlight video from his career which is pretty cool stuff. Eric presents him with the award but keeps cutting Jimmy off. Bischoff says the magic words: 3 minutes. Snuka’s eyes bug out in a funny visual but here are Jamal and Rosey for the big beatdown on Jimmy.

While Jimmy is being taken out of the ring, here’s Jericho to put him in the Walls of Jericho. Jericho runs his mouth about how he should be receiving the award. Jericho compares Snuka to Ric Flair who he made tap last night. Flair was in the ropes so it didn’t count but why let that get in the way of a good story? Since Flair interrupted the concert last week, Jericho is going to sing New York New York right here acapella. It’s a little modified but what are you going to do? We take a break and come back with Jericho STILL singing. He’s finally interrupted and we get this.

Chris Jericho vs. Jeff Hardy

Jericho takes him down to start with a suplex but Jeff pounds away in the corner to take over. The Canadian misses a dropkick and gets catapulted out to the floor. Jeff hits a HUGE dive to take Jericho out before running the barricade, only to charge right into a powerslam. Back in and Jericho hits a backbreaker before choking Jeff with his hanky. Jericho puts on a bow and arrow to stay on the back, making sure to tell the referee to ASK HIM.

Jericho stays on the back as Jeff isn’t selling as well as he usually does. He’s just kind of laying there instead. Jericho hits a backsplash for two and an uppercut puts Hardy down again. Jeff’s comeback lasts for about two punches before Jericho hits a sleeper drop to take him down for two. Chris goes up for something off the ropes but jumps into a dropkick before we can figure out what it is.

The Whisper in the Wind puts Jericho down and Jeff starts using his standard stuff. Hardy’s sunset flip is almost countered into the Walls but Hardy escapes into a small package for two. The Lionsault hits knees and it’s the Swanton for two as Jericho grabs the rope. Hardy tries a standing rana on Jericho for no apparent reason and there’s the obvious counter into the Walls. Jeff gets the rope but Jericho won’t let go of the hold, drawing a DQ.

Rating: C-. It was clear at this point that Jeff needed to take a break as he was doing nothing but signature stuff and had no fire in him at all. Thankfully that’s what he did soon into the new year, leaving the company for like four years. Jericho was trying here but he had nothing to work with across the ring.

Flair doesn’t make the save.

Heyman and Lesnar don’t care who Brock faces at the PPV.

Test is going to burn an American flag later tonight.

Apparently that’s right now as here are the Un-Americans to burn an American flag. They load up the blowtorch, Kane’s pyro and music hits, Kane doesn’t come out, so Goldust and Booker make the save. They get beaten down, Lawler gets up to save it but now Kane comes out. Gee that first time was pretty stupid wasn’t it? Kane is noticeably slimmer here as he would be for a few more years. JR says that’s an American chokeslam, even though it’s a Spaniard chokeslamming a Canadian. Kane also has the half mask now, meaning he can say he’s going to properly do a Spinarooni, which he actually does. Ok then.

Hardcore Title/Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Tommy Dreamer

This is a unification match in the series of “let’s get all the titles together so HHH can be CHAMPION OF EVERYTHING” title unifications. This will be under Hardcore rules and is allegedly the final hardcore match ever on Raw. JR says these two have wrestled in “other promotions.” You guys OWN THE COMPANY. I think you can say the name. They take it to the mat to start with neither being able to hit anything. It’s a standoff and the fans chant for ECW.

Van Dam hits some running shoulders to the ribs in the corner and a Russian legsweep gets two. We head to the floor with Dreamer pulling out a ladder. Van Dam superkicks it into Dreamer for two and sets the ladder up like a bridge between the ring and the barricade. Dreamer tries to bulldog Rob off the apron onto the ladder but Van Dam shoves him face first into the ladder. FREAKING OW MAN!!!

Rob puts Dreamer on the barricade and jumps off the ladder to kick him in the face. Van Dam picks up a chair and heads back into the ring to crush Dreamer with the chair for two. The split legged moonsault hits chair but Dreamer’s DDT onto it is countered into a northern lights suplex for two. There’s the DDT but not onto the chair which gets two as well.

The ladder is brought back in and a side slam onto the ladder has Van Dam in trouble. Dreamer’s middle rope elbow hits only ladder and the Rolling Thunder onto the ladder onto Dreamer gets two. Dreamer gets crotched on the ladder, kicked with a chair and Frog Splashed for the pin.

Rating: C+. Entertaining enough but did anyone believe that Van Dam wasn’t winning this? That’s ok I guess but it would have been nice if this had been Jericho or someone like that. As for this, the match didn’t work all that well but it wasn’t terrible I guess. Van Dam would lose the title to I think Jericho soon after this.

Here’s Stacy to say she’s going to keep Trish from interfering in the next match. Howard Finkel says, and I quote, “Right now you’re interfering with something in my trousers.” My childhood is scarred forever.

Lillian Garcia vs. Howard Finkel

This is part of some Fink is a chauvinist deal and it’s a tuxedo vs. evening gown match. The winner is permanent ring announcer for Raw. Howard says she looks good but he thought hookers were banned from this city a long time ago. This goes as well as you would expect. Howard says blondes like her should be on their backs. Stacy and Trish come in and strip Howard down to give Lillian the win.

Some guy named Criss Angel is going to live underwater for 24 hours. Ok then.

HHH vs. Undertaker

The winner gets the shot at Lesnar. Naturally it starts as a big brawl on the floor with HHH taking over. We head inside for the bell and a countered Pedigree. Taker pounds away in the corner and hits the jumping clothesline for two. HHH kicks him in the face and gets glared at. Old School hits for two and Taker pounds away and hits the Snake Eyes but the high knee blocks the big boot. Out to the floor and Taker’s knees go into the steps.

HHH pounds away on Taker’s head against the barricade as this is clearly not going to last long. The Game pounds away even more and it’s off to a sleeper because that’s what HHH wanted to make a big move. This thing goes on FOREVER until Taker suplexes him down. They slug it out with Taker getting the advantage again. The referee gets squished because that’s EXACTLY what this match needed. A big boot puts HHH down and there’s the chokeslam, but here’s Lesnar for a distraction. HHH hits Taker low but the Pedigree is countered. Lesnar knocks out Taker with the belt and HHH steals the pin for the title show.

Rating: F. It went eight and a half minutes and it was so boring I could barely stand it. A minute of this was spent in a sleeper and the rest was either punches or signature stuff. When you have Undertaker and HHH in there, anything worse than a watchable match is a failure. It’s amazing how much better these guys got over the years.

Stephanie is in the back and Eric tries to throw her out, but she’s here to say that Lesnar is exclusively on Smackdown, setting up the need for two world titles. Oh and that last match means NOTHING.

Overall Rating: D. And so it begins. Next week HHH would be handed the title that Sheamus currently holds because the world wants more HHH more than anything else. The problem with that is HHH in 2002 and 2003 was pretty awful, barely being able to pull out a good match if his life depended on it. Anyway, this was a pretty dull show with Lesnar being treated like nothing and the whole show being about HHH. Bad show, making last night an anomaly for the year.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Simple question: what are your favorite PPV posters?  Here are a few of mine:

Ok so the last one is a little different.  Your picks?

I know the brand split is basically dead, but this is ridiculous.The last time Smackdown had a main event of a PPV (excluding the Rumble which isn’t a Smackdown match) was Hell in a Cell 2010.  I know Smackdown is the lower level show, but wouldn’t it help a bit to have them close out a show once in awhile?  You’ve already sold the show, so does it really matter if the Smackdown match goes on last?  Especially if you have a somewhat weak Raw main event?

Is there a reason for this that I’m not getting?

Hell in a Cell 2010
Date: October 3, 2010
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

This is being written the morning after the show aired so I do know the results before the review is written. The two week “build” for this show makes me think it’s going to suck. We also only have five scheduled matches for tonight so there wasn’t much to set up coming into last night. The Cell should be enough to make the show draw is what WWE is thinking I guess but the buyrates would beg to differ. Let’s get to it.

Guess what the video is about. Just take a guess.

The set looks cool as it has a bunch of stuff designed to look like a Cell wall. I like that.

US Title: Daniel Bryan vs. The Miz vs. John Morrison

Apparently this is a submissions only match even though the name is just submissions count anywhere so it’s a bit misleading. Pretty clear Bryan is going to retain here even though he comes out second. Miz has the jacket back again too along with a mic. He’s called the Kenny Powers of the show and since he’s one of my favorite posters that’s a good sign. Miz says without him no one would know who the other guys are. He might be onto something there actually.

Both faces chase Miz to start us off and we get the standoff. Bryan gets a leg lock on him after a nice little wrestling sequence and we go to the floor without it being broken. That’s a nice little touch. We hit the formula of two guys fighting while the other is down. Morrison hits the Tarantula but Bryan makes the save. He then locks in Cattle Mutilation for like 4 seconds which probably blew up the IWC even though it wasn’t anything that special. A leg bar gets a bigger pop if that tells you anything.

Miz grabs a similar hold in an attempt to counter and they kick each other in the face a lot. Morrison hits Starship Pain (not called that for some reason) onto both guys to break it up. Haas of Pain (LOVE that hold) by Morrison is broken up by Miz. Corkscrew plancha hits (and I use that term VERY loosely) Miz and we head into the crowd. Miz gets a wristlock and Morrison breaks it up by punching Miz in the face. That’s always awesome.

Bryan is gone and in the ring for a good while here as the former tag team fights up the stairs. Miz gets a sick looking Dragon Sleeper type hold around a barricade and Bryan makes the save. I know I say that a lot but that’s what we’re getting a lot of: a hold for a few seconds and a save. We fight up to the stage a bit with Miz in control. Morrison throws Miz behind the stage and uses the barrier for a springboard to kick Bryan.

Miz literally shoves an anvil case at Morrison to take him down. This is kind of hard to call as it’s not quite a mess but there’s no flow to it in sight. Bryan is more or less dead on the stage after Miz shoves him on the anvil case. We get it: Morrison does some French training. You don’t have to explain it to us every 9 seconds. Skull Crushing Finale to Morrison on the floor and he’s out cold.

Bryan and Miz get into a wrestling sequence on the stage and it’s a double clothesline. Morrison is up somehow and climbs up the lighting grid and climbs onto the Cell set. BIG DIVE takes both of them out. How often do you get a THAT WAS AWESOME chant in WWE? See what happens when you have the young guys do their exciting stuff? Jomo gets a Texas Cloverleaf on Miz but here’s Riley for the save. A cameraman gets taken out giving us the eternally fun camera shot. Miz goes after Bryan while Riley has Morrison preoccupied and walks into the LeBell Lock for the tap out.

Rating: B-. Fun here but the quality was a bit weak. I absolutely don’t get the point of the submissions count everywhere aspect but it wasn’t horrible or anything. It was rather spotty at times but never boring which is the point of an opener. This was a pretty solid match and things seemed to work well enough. The big spots got the crowd going which is the best thing they could have done. Best possible choice for an opener.

Cole admits Bryan is for real. He toned down the Miz love in this match and it helped a lot. The repetition of stuff isn’t his fault for the most part though so I can’t blame him for that.

Ad for Legendary. I’m surprised this is the first one since we’re almost 25 minutes into the show.

We recap Orton vs. Sheamus, which really shows how stupid it is to have a Cell match for the sake of having a Cell match. Consider the first two matches. The idea of Michaels vs. Taker was that Shawn kept escaping Taker or having help from him. Shawn’s psychology in that match is some of the best ever as he was running the whole time and getting in shots where he could. It was like he was trapped in hell and this was Taker’s ultimate revenge.

The second was Mankind vs. Taker where the idea was they absolutely hated one another. The match happened so that they could absolutely annihilate each other and one man would not leave the Cell on his own. Those matches WORKED. This match is happening between two guys that aren’t fond of each other but are having this match because the schedule says we need to have it. Cena vs. Barrett could have a point to it as that feud has been going on for months. Taker vs. Kane belongs in there. This should be last man standing or a regular cage match or something, not Hell in a Cell.

Raw World Title: Randy Ortonvs. Sheamus

This Cell is taller and a bit more narrow. This stat sums things up very well: last year’s HIAC show was on October 4 so in one year we’ve had 5 Hell in Cell match. In thirteen years prior to that we had 16. That sums up this era better than anything I can tell you. Also tell me how this sounds: Sheamus is in a Hell in a Cell match. I like Sheamus but he DOES NOT belong on this level yet.

Another interesting stat: Orton is the only person to ever win the title inside the Cell. That’s rather surprising actually. Yeah they cover themselves by saying Orton is the only person to win the WWE Title in there. Unify the freaking belts already. Having two world champions is so freaking stupid sounding. Also there is a Hell in a Cell match second on the card. Does this just sound wrong to anyone else?

Loud RKO chant to start. I didn’t know there were so many old movie fans in today’s audience. Striker talks about speaking with HHH via e-mail. Holy subtle hint Batman! Yeah I’m stretching here since the first 15 minutes of this aren’t going to mean anything since this isn’t going to end quickly at all. We head to the floor for about a second and the stomping begins for two. NICE slingshot shoulder block by Sheamus to take out Orton.

Orton gets rammed into the cage on the floor and Sheamus breaks out the steps. Now Orton gets a shot with them and we head back into the ring. There’s no heat to this at all as it just doesn’t belong in there. It’s a glorified street fight with a cage thrown in for fun. Striker explains why the ribs are a good thing for Sheamus to go after since the RKO is a bit weaker if the ribs are hurt.

Turnbuckle is ripped off as Sheamus is in control. He gets a gutbuster onto the steps which have gotten far more focus in this match than the cage so far. And now, in a match based around terror and chaos and pain, we get an EVIL chinlock. Cole points out that Orton is the champion and Sheamus is the challenger. Well usually when one is champion the other is the challenger so at least he can follow basic concepts. He’s reached the level of an average 4 year old!

Orton makes his comeback and the fans get behind him again. The crowd is rather hot here which is a very good thing and is helping this match along. They want an RKO apparently. Backbreaker out of nowhere and Orton slaps the mat. Make sure there’s an orthopedic specialist in the building! There come the stairs again as Striker points out how stupid it is to use the steps when he’s surrounded by steel.

Orton counters again and hits a powerslam on the steps. IT’S NOT A SCOOP SLAM COLE! It’s good for two either way. The elevated DDT on the steps of course doesn’t hit but the one on the floor sort of does. RKO is blocked and Orton hits the post. This isn’t a bad match but it’s just boring for a Cell match. Make this a street fight and it’s far better. Irish Curse, the backbreaker, hits on the steps. It’s on Sheamus’ knee though so do the steps make that big of a difference?

Brogue Kick gets two and Sheamus’ face is AWESOME looking as his eyes bug completely out. A bunch of chair shots get two. A big chair shot misses and Orton gets the RKO to pop the crowd. The pale one rolls to the floor though so we don’t get a cover. Punt misses and there’s a second Brogue Kick on the floor. We’re just transitioning from move to move here with nothing in between it. RKO on the steps ends it. I’d buy that a lot more if Sheamus’ head actually hit the steps but you can’t have it all I guess.

Rating: D+. For a street fight this is about a B or a B+. For a Hell in a Cell match this is just ok at best. It was a street fight (and a good one) inside the Cell. That doesn’t mean it’s good for what it was supposed to be. This was supposed to be a huge war inside the Cell and by definition, hell. This wasn’t the case here and while the match wasn’t horrible at all, this should NOT have been a Cell match. Like I said, make this a street fight without the Cell and it’s VERY good.

Orton climbs the Cell afterwards and poses with the belt. Cole wants it renamed the Viper’s Playground. Striker in a near deadpan voice: “Not yet.” Striker is the voice of reasoning. That’s almost scary.

Ad for Bragging Rights ad. It’s in three weeks. OH JOY! It’s also the night after a Lesnar fight. Yeah that’s not going to bomb at all. Nexus is advertised for it too.

Josh has the NXT girls in the back and they’re asked if they’re nervous. Nexus interrupts them thank goodness.

Alberto’s ring announcer brings him out. Again, his announcer has an announcer. That’s saying a lot. I do wonder where they get these cars. Cole wants to have his babies I think. Lawler wants to know if he can push 1 for English. That was rather amusing for a change. Alberto talks about beating up Rey and Christian. Gee wouldn’t Rey vs. Alberto be nice tonight? Some basic hometown sports jokes don’t really work.

Cue Edge’s music as Cole complains. Striker says Edge has over a dozen championships. He has over two dozen but why play him up I guess? Yeah he’s a face now. Edge runs down the stupid things Alberto has done which are rather true. They get into a Spanglish argument of all things. A Canadian is arguing with a Mexican in an American ring. The first W is indeed correct. And here comes the All American-American. HE MADE THE SAME JOKE I DID!

Swagger points out that the mascot on Smackdown was in fact a human and not a real eagle. Could they please decide if he’s a serious or comedy character? Swagger jumps him and Alberto bails. We have an e-mail and this is a match now. The computer has been upgraded it seems. Edge has to make a public apology tomorrow on Raw but this is a match right now.

Jack Swagger vs. Edge

Good thing Edge was in his wrestling gear. Swagger dominates to start as he had an advantage before we started. Swagger goes for the ankle which makes sense twice because of Edge’s ankle injury and the ankle lock. He keeps Edge on the mat and is in complete control. We hit the apron and Swagger tries to hit a German to the floor. Add that to the international joke from earlier.

When that of course doesn’t work because it would nearly kill Edge he switches to an abdominal stretch using the ropes. Edge’s eye is swollen up. Ankle lock is attempted as we touch on the ankle injury again which Lawler almost sarcastically says you told us that already. Edge gets us to even but gets caught in the ankle lock on the floor. The running up the corner belly to belly is blocked as Edge hits a missile dropkick, which is a pure face move.

Kind of an odd match here. It’s certainly not bad but it’s not that great for some reason. Belly to belly by Swagger but his arm is hurt. Swagger might be bleeding from the mouth a bit. Vader Bomb misses and Edge gets the Edgecution. Spear misses and Swagger gets the powerbomb for TWO. I don’t remember anyone ever kicking out of that. I think they mistime something as Swagger goes for a Dragon Screw Leg Whip while Edge goes for an Enziguri, making it look AWFUL. Ankle lock goes on but Edge gets a quick counter and spear for the pin. That ended very fast after the knee thing so maybe they were just playing it safe.

Rating: C-. Nothing that great here but it was VERY refreshing to see a match between the two shows. This is a fresh match we haven’t seen before and it wasn’t that bad. It was far better than seeing the same guys fighting again as it actually wasn’t predictable. That’s something WWE is sorely lacking anymore and switching the rosters up dramatically could work wonders for them. Match was a high level TV match.

Otunga has a plan to help Barrett.

Recap the Nexus angle which I’m sure you’re all familiar with by now.

John Cena vs. Wade Barrett

If Barrett loses Nexus is disbanded. If Cena loses he has to join the Nexus. It’s kind of amazing that this is I believe his 5th singles match and his first PPV singles match. You can’t say they’re not pushing this guy to the moon. Long feeling out period to start us off here. Cena gets his dropkick for his first big offensive maneuver. Barrett drops an F Bomb but not an audible one.

We slug it out a bit and Cena sets for the FU but Slater comes out as a distraction. Barrett throws the Nexus out which is an interesting touch. Barrett controls and hits a second rope elbow drop for two. Their colors are now black and gold instead of black and yellow. Neckbreaker gets two as Barrett is finally getting to showcase his offense. This is already his longest match and it’s not even 8 minutes long.

Dueling chants begin and you can tell it’s mainly men shouting for Barrett and higher pitched voices chanting for Cena. Cena makes his comeback and he initiates his finishing sequence. Nexus surrounds the ring as the definition of interference is getting kind of shaky here. Big Show comes out and leads the charge of the locker room who come out to beat down Nexus. It says a lot when it takes about 15 people including Big Show to beat up four glorified jobbers. And it’s not jobbers coming out to beat them up. You have guys like Show, Kofi, Ziggler, Bryan, Hart Dynasty and MVP, as in former and current champions.

Wasteland is blocked and this is a pretty solid back and forth match. Also it’s good that they got rid of the Nexus about halfway through. FU is blocked and Barrett hits a butterfly suplex for two. Boss Man Slam gets two. Fameasser off the top is blocked the first time but Cena gets it for two. Barrett gets Wasteland out of nowhere for two. Cole is WAY into this. Lawler says something and I had forgotten he was there.

FU hits out of nowhere for two as we’re into the good part of this match now. STF goes on as Cena looks extra quick here. Cole is SCREAMING at Barrett to tap out. A planted fan runs into the ring, allowing the guy that appears to be Husky Harris to pop up and blast Cena in the head, allowing Barrett to get the pin and kill the souls of millions of children. This is likely Otunga’s plan, which he didn’t run past Barrett.

Rating: B. Solid match here with the ending working rather well. The Nexus wasn’t really involved all that much here and it helped a lot I thought. Barrett looked VERY impressive out there with a nice offensive moveset and solid ring presence. This was better than I expected and things worked very well here. Good match and it sets up some stuff for the show in the upcoming weeks. Also Harris and potentially another member joining is a good thing. Good match.

Nexus puts Barrett on their shoulders as the celebration is on. On a replay the fan that distracted things appears to be Michael McGillicutty but I can’t tell for sure. The fan that hit Cena was definitely Harris but he’s not named. Cena takes a long time to leave and various ages of fans are STUNNED.

Paper Jamz ad, the same from….two weeks ago.

Josh is in the back and runs into Paul Bearer. He cuts a short and cryptic promo about having his own master plan.

Make-A-Wish package from Smackdown.

Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Natalya

Michelle looks good in her gold shorts if nothing else. Striker tries to claim Michelle is the best in ring working woman ever. I’m not even going to make a joke about that because it’s not fair to make fun of people that stupid. Michelle dominates for a bit with leg based offence but Natalya takes over with power stuff. This is rather boring if you couldn’t tell. Michelle accidentally drills Layla and Natalya gets a rollup for two. Sharpshooter goes on, is countered into a heel hook and is countered again. Then Layla throws in her shoe for the DQ.

Rating: D-. Yeah I don’t care either. Boring match and not very good.

Recap of Taker vs. Kane which I’m sure you know by now also.

Smackdown World Title: Kane vs. Undertaker

Taker coming out with Paul Bearer just feels….right. They brawl outside of the Cell to start and Kane controls. Apparently this is before the match starts. Ah there we go. There’s the bell. Kane gets a chair from under the ring and beats the hell out of Taker. We fight on the floor again and this is more of a brawl than a match WHICH IS THE FREAKING IDEA. Lots of leg work by Kane which makes sense here.

A big boot eats cage though and Kane is in trouble. Taker hits the leg drop on the apron but Kane gets his low dropkick. The boo/yay stuff starts up as this is kind of a boring match. Old School is attempted so Kane hits him in the leg. Top rope clothesline connects but Taker grabs Hell’s Gate. Kane clearly taps but no one calls it. It’s not completely on and Kane gets to the floor to escape.

We get a double sit up and Taker’s eyes are awesome. More boo/yay stuff as neither can get control. Running DDT by Taker gets two. Chokeslam hits for Taker as his knee is fine all of a sudden. Kane does the same for two. Kane goes for ten punches in the corner, you know the counter, and it gets two as well. WOW that was a horrible powerbomb. Kane reverses a Tombstone into one of his own and the crowd is into it.

And there’s an uppercut for the slow counting referee. The referees come down to get him out so Bearer can slip inside. Bearer goes after Kane and Taker sits up. He gets another chokeslam and does the throat slit sign. The lightning and thunder kick on and a light comes out of the urn. Bearer shines it in Taker’s eyes and we have a standoff. Bearer of course hands it to Kane and Taker, like the idiot that he is, stands there and gets his head bashed in by Kane who hits a chokeslam to retain. A closeup of his face on the ramp ends the show.

Rating: D. Just like the previous match this was a horrible Cell match but not a terrible match overall. The problem again is the lack of violence and the lack of use of the Cell. However this one was even weaker in those areas than the first one, somehow making Sheamus vs. Orton far better. As I said that one would have been a very good street fight but this would have been boring no matter what.

These two getting 20+ minutes is just not a good idea. Their best match ever was two weeks ago when it was just a big freaking brawl. Them trying to have psychology in their matches and the leg work is always bad and this was no exception. For once though the heel turn makes sense so points for that. Seriously though, how stupid is Taker for trusting Bearer AGAIN? Did he say, “Hey Paul, sorry about that whole burying you alive stuff. We’re solid right?” The heel turn was logical here so I’m fine with that at least. Rating would have been about the same Cell or no Cell.

OverallRating: B-. This show wasn’t great but it certainly wasn’t boring. They had a show here where stuff kept happening the whole three hours and it worked pretty well I thought. The double Cell thing is still incredibly stupid and them talking non-stop about how epic it was just made it worse but that’s to be expected. This looked like a disaster on paper but we got a solid show out of it. I don’t think it’s as great as people have said it was, but this worked FAR better than I expected it to. Fairly good show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

This is another one of those things I don’t get.What is this obsession people have with seeing these two fight?  It seems like it would be a match where the outcome is never in doubt and the promos would likely be centered around “I’m straightedge” vs. “I love beer”.  They were both anti-heroes so they don’t have character issues to argue over.  Yet despite all this, fans seem to be begging to see this match.  Why?  At the end of the day, the money match would seem to be Cena vs. Austin, not Austin vs. Punk.

Think about it.  If there is ANYONE who is the polar opposite of Austin’s entire character, it’s John Cena.  You have the ultimate corporate guy vs. the guy who would regularly beat up his boss.  The promos would be great, the characters contrasts would be great, and it would be the ultimate battle of Attitude Era (the company’s new favorite marketing campaign since they finally realized people are nostalgic for it) vs. PG.

Why do so many people want Punk when Cena would be a better opponent all the way around?  Also Austin vs. Punk is not happening at Mania 29.  Austin’s knee isn’t going to be ready.  Drop the speculation already.

Smackdown
Date: October 19, 2012
Location: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Josh Matthews, John Bradshaw Layfield

Back to the blue show after things have taken a fresh turn on Raw. We’re closing in on the Cell where apparently Show vs. Sheamus isn’t in the Cell, likely leaving them open for a rematch next month. I’m enjoying this story way better than I likely should but having a clash of two titans like this is always fun. Hopefully things pick up a bit on here. Let’s get to it.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is a barn that my uncle fell off yesterday.

Here’s the now non-Intercontinental Champion Miz for MizTV. He has a NASTY looking gash above his eye from where Kofi kicked him on Monday. He’s cashing in his rematch clause and he’ll prove why he’s must see. No date is given but presumably it’s at the PPV. His guests tonight are HELL NO. Yeah the match is officially at the PPV. Miz says if they were a real tag team, they would come out together. Bryan offers to separate Miz’s teeth from his mouth. Miz makes fun of the Goat Face and says the lack of continuity is going to cost them the championships.

Kane says that he’s won tag titles with giants, psychopaths with multiple personalities and a dead man so Bryan is no problem. Bryan says that he’s the reason they’ll keep the titles because he’s the world’s toughest vegan. Kane says that’s like being the world’s tallest dwarf, but Bryan has that covered too. Miz: “Can I say something here?” Kane and Bryan: “NO!”

The champions argue again with Bryan mentioning the MITB cash in over Big Show, drawing out the big man for a rebuttal. Show says he has no issue with Kane (even though they’re fighting on Monday) but he has one with Bryan. He doesn’t want to hear about Bryan beating him in 45 seconds again or he’s going to knock Bryan out. He says he’ll knock Bryan out now but Kane gets in Show’s way, saying they don’t have to wait for Monday. This brings out….Dolph Ziggler?

Ziggler talks about how talking about Bryan and MITB is so last year and he should be the focus because he’s cashing in on either Sheamus or Big Show. Ziggler says if Bryan can do it to Big Show, how hard can it be? An argument breaks out and Booker comes out but Miz says that Booker can save his time because he knows what’s coming. Instead Booker makes HELL NO vs. Show/Ziggler and Miz vs. a surprise. When they have this huge tag division all of a sudden, do we need to have these one night only tag teams to fight them? Here’s Miz’s surprise.

The Miz vs. Randy Orton

Orton is looking a bit more like he did in 2004. I think it’s the not being orange and having a bit more hair. This is joined in progress after a break with Randy clotheslining Miz down and stomping away. Del Rio and Ricardo are watching from a sky box. Miz pounds away in the corner but Orton comes right back and pounds away as well. A belly to back suplex gets two for Orton but Miz comes back and knocks Randy off the apron and into the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Orton in a chinlock which Miz follows up with a Reality Check for two. Striker is in the sky box to talk to Ricardo and Alberto. For all we know, right now Miz and Orton are doing the Charleston. Del Rio says he’s the new Apex Predator in the WWE and that’s about it. Back in the ring Miz hits the corner clothesline but Orton crotches him on the top. Orton superplexes Miz down for two and a clothesline puts Miz on the floor.

Back in and Orton glares at Del Rio before dropkicking Miz down for two. Miz comes back with the short DDT for two of his own. Orton comes back with a quick elevated DDT before going insane and loading up the RKO. Miz avoids it and tries the Finale but Orton rolls away and hits the RKO for the pin at 7:30 shown of 11:00.

Rating: C. Well at least Miz isn’t a champion anymore. The match wasn’t anything great but these two have never had the best chemistry. Miz seems to be the latest victim of of writers being bored syndrome as he came back, got a quick push, and then the push just stopped for the sake of someone else getting a push. It’s stuff like that which causes no one to be over or credible anymore.

Del Rio says they’re going to do this on his terms at HIAC.

Sheamus runs into Teddy in the back and the champ wants Barrett tonight. Teddy says he’ll talk to Booker about it and he’ll try to make it a lumberjack match. Sheamus: “I feel you playa.” Eve is lurking in the background.

Rhodes Scholars vs. Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel

Gabriel and Cody start but it’s off to Tyson very fast with a kick to the back for two. Cody and Sandow head to the floor with Gabriel taking Damien out with a dive. Cody gets in a cheap shot and we head back into the ring for some heel beating. Sandow takes him down and drops the windup elbow for two. Gabriel gets in a kick to the face to take Rhodes down and it’s off to Kidd. He cleans a few rooms of the house with a dropkick to the side of Sandow’s head but as he puts Damien in the Sharpshooter, Cody gets a blind tag and hits the Disaster Kick for the pin at 3:20.

Rating: C-. Nothing much to see here as it’s just another Rhodes Scholars squash to set up the tournament final on Raw. This was a squash but it was nothing interesting. Also, we have another case of the back and forth booking as Kidd and Gabriel had good competitive matches with Cesaro but here’s they’re jobbers for a tag team. Either push the guys as good, tough opponents or make them full on jobbers.

Eve is sucking up to Booker in the back when Teddy comes in to pitch the lumberjack match idea to Booker. Eve says she’s been talking about that for weeks and Teddy stole his idea. Since apparently Booker doesn’t watch the show and no one with a brain in wrestling ever WATCHES THE TAPE FROM EARLIER WHICH THEY KNOW EXISTS BECAUSE THERE WAS A CAMERA RIGHT THERE, Teddy has no defense. Instead he looks at an iPad after the other two leave.

HELL NO vs. Dolph Ziggler/Big Show

No entrances for either team. Bryan and Ziggler start things off with Bryan being taken to the mat in a bit of a surprise. A dropkick puts Daniel down and it’s off to Big Show. The other monster gets the tag and they slug it out with Show spearing Kane down. Show pounds away in the corner but misses a charge, allowing Kane to bring in Bryan for the NO kicks. The big kick to the head is blocked though and Show gorilla presses Bryan to the floor.

We take a break and come back with Ziggler ramming Bryan’s face into Show’s boot for one. Off to Show but Bryan avoids the chop in the corner. He tries to dive for Kane but Show easily throws him down. The chokeslam is countered into the DDT but Ziggler breaks up another tag with a neckbreaker on Bryan. Ziggler drops a bunch of elbows including a jumping version which gets two. Back to Show who punches Bryan in the ribs and puts on a stomach claw.

Off to Ziggler but he misses a Stinger Splash in the corner and there’s the hot tag to Kane. The Fameasser misses Kane but a big boot gets two on Ziggler. Bryan tags himself in of course, and hits a running clothesline on Dolph, followed by a running dropkick in the corner. Bryan dives at Big Show and gets shoved down as everything breaks down. Kane takes Show down and the NO Lock submits Ziggler at 10:02 shown of 13:32.

Rating: C. Dolph tapping out was the only way they could go here. I mean, he didn’t get beaten on Monday and by law he absolutely must job once a week so that his cash in will be as shocking as possible, and by shocking I mean really freaking obvious. Also I could go without having these random teams facing HELL NO every week.

The champs argue on the stage when Rhodes Scholars jump them. They’re not even pretending that the tournament is up for grabs anymore.

We recap the end of Barrett vs. Sheamus from Raw.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Ted DiBiase

Before the match we get a vignette of Cesaro at Sun Studio (where Elvis recorded a lot of his stuff) and criticizing country music. These kind of things are way better than seeing the people in the back all the time. Ted starts with a dropkick but gets sent to the floor almost immediately. Antonio drops Ted face first on the apron and we’re entering squash mode. Cesaro hits the gutwrench suplex and puts on a cravate. DiBiase makes a quick comeback with a clothesline and sitout spinebuster, but he jumps into the uppercut to stop him cold. There’s the Neutralizer for the pin at 2:39.

Raw ReBound is about the end of the show with the contract signing and Ryback killing Punk.

Heath Slater vs. Brodus Clay

The Band continues to look hilariously stupid. Slater jumps Brodus in the corner to start but the big man will have none of that. A suplex puts Slater down but Brodus charges into a boot in the corner. A middle rope missile dropkick staggers Clay but Slater gets killed by the overhead suplex. Clay has to chase off the Band and Slater hits that falling cutter of his for the pin at 1:55. It was nice looking at your girls Brodus. Sorry you had to die this badly.

Barrett isn’t sure Sheamus is a tough guy but he’s certainly stupid. Why fight Barrett tonight when you have to defend against Big Show? Wade hopes that Show remembers the beatdown tonight and wants the favor repaid once Show wins the title.

Layla vs. Natalya

They head to the mat and then the floor almost immediately with Nattie taking over. Eve continues to talk about the attack on Kaitlyn because that’s still a thing for some reason. Natalya hooks a modified abdominal stretch which is quickly escapes and a kick to the face gets Layla the pin at 1:55. It’s really hard to take Layla seriously when her song is about not being able to get enough sex and her video is of her dancing.

Teddy is with Kaitlyn and the iPad apparently belongs to Eve. Apparently there’s information on there that proves Eve is evil and needs to be stopped. Gee, who would have seen that coming? Kaitlyn takes a picture of the iPad screen. She says keep this quiet for now. You know, BECAUSE DOING THIS IN FRONT OF A CAMERA ON NATIONAL TELEVISION IS GOING TO KEEP THIS A SECRET!

Here are the lumberjacks for the main event.

Wade Barrett vs. Sheamus

Non-title of course and Show is a lumberjack. Barrett pounds away in the corner but the champion slugs right back. Barrett comes back with a kick to the ribs and a pumphandle slam for two. Sheamus gets sat on the ropes for the big boot, knocking the champion to the outside. Back in that gets two as Big Show is just standing there watching. Sheamus is sent chest first into the buckle as the dominance continues. Matthews says it’s a stalemate. I’d hate to see a beating then.

We take a break and come back with Sheamus making a comeback and hitting a Regal Roll for no cover. There are the ten forearms in the ropes followed by White Noise. Sheamus loads up the Brogue Kick but the 3MB pulls Barret to the floor. The champ dives on all of them to take them out but Barrett hits a running back elbow and a big boot for two back inside.

Wasteland is escaped and the Brogue Kick misses too. Barrett clotheslines Sheamus to the floor and it’s time for the big lumberjack brawl. Back in and Wade charges into the Irish Curse….and here’s HELL NO to get the Rhodes Scholars. Brogue Kick ends Barrett at 7:24 shown of 10:54.

Rating: C+. I usually love the brawls these two have but this was the short and not that great version. The focus was on the lumberjacks and while Sheamus got beaten up, it never felt like he was in any real danger. That made the main event more about waiting for the ending rather than being an interesting match. That’s not good but the match still wasn’t bad.

Post match Ziggler knocks Sheamus down and tries to cash in but Big Show knocks Ziggler out cold with the punch. Show says he’s taking the title at the PPV.

Overall Rating: D+. This show didn’t do anything for me. Aside from how uninteresting the Eve stuff is, now it’s just getting stupid as they have the evidence they need to prove she’s lying on tape and they won’t use it, and then they do something in front of a camera and say keep this secret. On top of that, the tournament final on Monday looks like a waste of time given what we saw here. Smackdown is just worthless at this point and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.

Results

Randy Orton b. The Miz – RKO

Rhodes Scholars b. Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel – Disaster Kick to Kidd

HELL NO b. Dolph Ziggler/Big Show – NO Lock to Ziggler

Antonio Cesaro b. Ted DiBiase – Neutralizer

Heath Slater b. Brodus Clay – Falling Cutter

Layla b. Natalya – Kick to the head

Sheamus b. Wade Barrett – Brogue Kick

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

This came to me last night and it’s another example of the fans complaining for the sake of complaining.The Rock won his first world title in November of 1998.  He won his last in July 0f 2002.  That’s less than four years and in that span, Rock won nine world titles: 7 WWF and 2 WCW.

John Cena won his first world title in April of 2005 and in four years, Cena had won six world titles: 4 WWE and 2 WHC.

The fans’ typical statements on these two:

Rock: ROCKY!  ROCKY!  ROCKY!

Cena: CENA SUCKS!  HE ALWAYS HAS THE TITLE AND WINS IT ALL THE FREAKING TIME!

Even though Rock won more titles in a much shorter span of time.  Rock would win nine titles in four years while Cena has won twelve in about seven years.  Also keep in mind that most of Rock’s reigns were when only one title was available.  To complain about Cena constantly winning titles while praising Rock as amazing is hypocrisy.