Smackdown
Date: August 24, 2012
Location: Rabobank Arena, Bakersfield, California
Commentator: Michael Cole

We’re past Summerslam and Sheamus is still the champion. He kept the title by pinning Del Rio, but there was some controversy at the end as Del Rio had his foot on the ropes. Then on Raw, Alberto got pinned by Orton, so I think we might be seeing another triple threat in the near future. Well to be fair we haven’t had one in almost five days so it’s high time for one. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the title match at Summerslam.

Here’s Orton to open things up. He says that he’s never been a glass half full kind of guy. He’s the kind of guy that would like to shatter the glass (again with the Austin motif) and beat up the guy that came up with that stupid expression. Randy says he deserves the world title shot after beating Del Rio on Monday. However, there are probably some people that disagree with him in the back, so he invites them to come out here right now.

Instead he gets Sheamus which isn’t the result he was expecting. Sheamus talks about how Alberto has lost every chance he’s had at the title and he’s lost twice in a row now “fair and square”. Sheamus wants to defend the title against Orton but here’s Booker with a rebuttal. He asks the fans if they’re interested in seeing Orton vs. Sheamus….but here’s Alberto to interrupt.

Del Rio says that Sheamus is a cheater and Orton is an animal. He whines and whines about how unfair everything is and Booker caves and makes him #1 contender. Actually scratch that because the whining has made Booker change his mind. Tonight it’s Del Rio vs. Orton for the title shot at Night of Champions.

We get a recap of Josh Matthews getting injured by Kane at Summerslam. Teddy Long is filling in for him tonight. Apparently there’s going to be a different commentator filling in on each match.

Ryback vs. Jinder Mahal

Ryback pounds Mahal in the face as Cole talks about how Teddy should be upset that he’s not the boss anymore. Mahal escapes a powerslam and sends Ryback into the corner to take over. The running knee to the face gets one but an attempted seated boot at the face is caught by Ryback. The fans chant FEED ME MORE as Ryback hits a powerslam. The clothesline and Shell Shock end this at 2:53. Now move Ryback up the card already.

Layla vs. Alicia Fox

Kaitlyn is guest commentator. Tiffany’s song does not work well at all for Layla. Now I’m not one to usually notice crowd noise being piped in, but when Layla gets a pop as she holds up the belt and a wide shot shows almost no one moving, I think there’s something fake there. Layla hits her double jump springboard cross body for two. Kaitlyn talks about Natalya complaining about being eliminated from the battle royal “last night”. Layla gets kicked off the ropes and Alicia goes after the knee. A half crab is broken up and Layla hits a high kick for the pin at 2:04. Nothing to see here.

Eve comes out post match and raises both of their hands.

Raw ReBound talks about the end of the show.

Ziggler brags to Vickie about getting rid of Jericho on Monday. Sheamus pops in and says there’s no time like the present, so why not have a match tonight? Ziggler says no but Teddy comes up and says yes.

Sin Cara vs. Heath Slater

Cody is the guest commentator. Cara takes him down with a snapmare to start and a dropkick puts Slater into the corner. Slater knocks him to the floor with a shoulder to the ribs to take over and it’s off to the chinlock. Cody gets in a backhanded compliment to Slater by saying that this is the only match he has a chance to win this year. Cara does the corner rope walk into the armdrag to send Slater out to the floor before hitting a dive over the top. They head back in but Cody turns Cara’s mask around, allowing Slater to hit a reverse DDT for the pin at 2:35. This was angle advancement.

Cody goes for the mask again but referees stop him.

Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler

No entrance for the champ. Vickie does commentary of course. Ziggler bails to the floor to start before charging back into a headlock takeover. Dolph comes back with a chinlock as Vickie runs down AJ. Sheamus comes back and tries White Noise but Ziggler bails to the apron. Ziggler trips him up and drops Sheamus onto the apron with a DDT for two.

Back to the chinlock followed by a failed sleeper attempt. Sheamus hits some power strikes followed by the ten forearms in the ropes. White Noise looks to set up the Brogue Kick but Ziggler bails to the corner. Vickie slips him the case and he blasts Sheamus with it for the DQ at 4:55.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t great but how much can you do in five minutes with a DQ ending? These two have the chemistry together which is a good thing and I liked that they didn’t have Ziggler about to lose. He was in trouble but he avoided the kick and things would have been almost at a standoff after that.

Ziggler hits Sheamus again with the case and looks to cash in but Sheamus gets up and stares him down so Ziggler takes the case back and runs.

Wade Barrett is still coming back.

Here’s Santino with something to say. Santino talks about how long he was US Champion and how he doesn’t feel like an American anymore. Then he ate apple pie and felt better. No seriously, that’s what he said. Santino isn’t sure if he can talk to the Cobra anymore so he puts it on and sees if things are ok.

He remembers the good times with the Cobra but on Sunday, the Cobra cost him the title because of its attraction to Aksana. Santino quotes Roberto De Niro and asks if you can milk him because he has nipples. Oh wait he meant to quote Rocky Balboa and says if he can change everybody can change. That fires the Cobra up and he says they can win the title again.

Thankfully Cesaro comes out to interrupt with new music. Cesaro does the five languages thing with the word this week being winner. He says that unlike Santino, he’s a winner. That fires Santino up and they brawl on the stage with Santino loading up the Cobra, only to be distracted by Aksana. The Cobra, not Santino. The distraction lets Cesaro deck him and leave Santino laying. This is modern WWE for you: we finally get a young talent like Cesaro pushed to a title and he feuds with a guy over a sock on the challenger’s hand being attracted to Cesaro’s girlfriend.

Primo/Epico vs. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth

Non-title here. The Prime Time Players are the guest commentators. Cole suggests the tag champions have the Players’ number. Titus: “You mean our phone number?” Kofi and Epico start things off and it’s a standoff with both guys trying dropkicks. Epico pounds away on him in the corner and it’s off to Primo. Cole tries to learn the bark as Epico hits a slingshot hilo for two. Titus does a Booker imitation as the commentary continues to move further and further away from the match. Off to Truth who cleans house and hits a gordbuster on Epico. Everything breaks down and Little Jimmy gets the pin on Primo at 2:17.

Video on the Japan tour.

Kofi and Truth say they’ll fight anyone. Little Jimmy thinks there’s a lot of good competition around here. The Players come in and say they deserve the shot. The Usos, Kidd/Gabriel and Epico/Primo all come in and it’s a big brawl.

Teddy tells Booker the brawl has been broken up. Booker asks Teddy who deserves the shot. Teddy isn’t sure so Eve comes in and has a win/loss chart for the teams over the last six months. She’s also organized his schedule for the next six weeks. Booker is pleased and Teddy isn’t sure what to think.

Recap video on Kane vs. Bryan.

Since this show isn’t boring enough already, here’s a long recap of HHH/Lesnar/HBK from Raw. Seriously that speech made you think HHH died.

Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio

Winner gets Sheamus presumably at Night of Champions so he’s on commentary here. They fight for control to start but Randy hits a slingshot suplex of all things for two and takes over. He hits the slingshot into the bottom rope but Del Rio comes back with a quick armbar attempt. That gets countered into a neckbreaker to send Del Rio to the outside as we take a break.

Back with Del Rio holding a chinlock. During the break Orton’s arm was sent into the steps so the arm is hurt as usual. A knee to the ribs stops Orton’s attempt at a comeback and Alberto pounds away on the arm. The running enziguri in the corner misses and Orton gets fired up. Well, as fired up as Orton can get. Orton’s clotheslines set up the powerslam but the elevated DDT is countered by Del Rio pulling on Randy’s arm.

That’s the extent of his offense though as Orton hits the backbreaker for two. Del Rio hits the Codebreaker on the arm out of nowhere for two and Randy is in trouble again. The armbreaker is countered and a dropkick puts Del Rio down and gets a delayed two. Elevated DDT looks to set up the RKO but Del Rio hangs onto the ropes, sending Orton’s arm into the mat again. There’s the armbreaker and in what has to be a surprise, Orton taps clean at 6:46 shown of 10:16.

Rating: C. The ending was a nice surprise but at the end of the day, it means Del Rio vs. Sheamus for the third month in a row with nothing changing at this point. All of the hope that I had for something new at Night of Champions are gone, presumably because Orton needs to go film a movie that about 8 people will admit to seeing. It does at least give Del Rio a clean win over someone which he’s needed for a long time.

Post match Del Rio throws a shoe at Sheamus to draw the champ in, allowing Ricardo and Alberto to beat Sheamus down. With Sheamus down, here’s Ziggler to cash in but Orton hits an RKO on Dolph for no apparent reason other than I guess Dolph needs someone new to feud with. Someone must have landed on the case because there’s a big dent in it now.

Overall Rating: D. Smackdown is such a mess anymore. We had a bunch of short matches tonight and a bunch of nonsense. First and foremost, why in the world are there three people in charge on this show? They’re wasting time on a feud between Teddy Long vs. Eve Torres. Think about that for a minute. Other than that, we have Del Rio vs. Sheamus AGAIN, which was dull the first time, stupid and dull the second time, and grounds for an insanity defense this time.

We have a tag title feud with a bunch of teams and I’d almost bet money on the Prime Time Players getting the titles after having lost clean TWICE now to Kofi and Truth, because you couldn’t just put the freaking belts on them in the first place because….because…..oh like WWE has any clue why they do what they do with those belts. Oh and don’t forget the US Title, the same title (in name only) that saw Tully Blanchard vs. Magnum TA in one of the greatest matches ever, being fought over because of a sock that has a mind of its own. This show is a disaster and it’s clear that no one behind the scenes cares about it at all.

Results

Ryback b. Jinder Mahal – Shell Shock

Layla b. Alicia Fox – High Kick to the head

Heath Slater b. Sin Cara – Reverse DDT

Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler via DQ when Ziggler used the MITB briefcase

R-Truth/Kofi Kingston b. Epico/Primo – Little Jimmy to Primo

Alberto Del Rio b. Randy Orton – Cross Armbreaker

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

In the fall, WWE is going to be debuting a new weekly TV show called The Main Event.  When that happens, there are going to be 8 and a half hours of free TV from WWE every week.  On that scale, WWE would have more TV aired on free TV in approximately five weeks than there was on WWF PPV in all of the 1980s combined.

 

And people wonder why the shows are getting watered down.

NXT
Date: August 22, 2012
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton, William Regal

So I had the whole intro written about how great it was that the title tournament ended tonight and how great it was to see something like that finally happen on NXT. Then I started watching the show and for no apparent reason, the match is next week. My guess is that they wanted it to be at the start of a new taping or something like that, but it’s still disappointing. Let’s get to it.

Derrick Bateman vs. Antonio Cesaro

Cesaro pounds him into the corner almost immediately but Bateman comes back with a dropkick for one. Regal talks about how strong Bateman is as he pounds away. Cesaro comes back with a hot shot to take over and it’s off to the cravate and chinlock. Bateman comes back with a belly to back suplex and some clotheslines. He hooks what can only be called a reverse DDT (Bateman hooked him for a DDT and then fell forward to drive Cesaro’s back into the mat. Why not just use a regular DDT?) but a charge misses in the corner. Gutwrench suplex sets up the Neutralizer for the pin at 4:01.

Rating: C-. Nothing special here but it’s good to see that Bateman isn’t a featured guy anymore. He’s competent in the ring and the people in Florida seem to like him somewhat, but the guy just isn’t that interesting. I think he’s supposed to be an everyman character which is ok but that’s about as far as he’s taken it.

Some WWE stars talk about what it means to be the first champion. This is probably the only time you’ll ever see Cena talk about NXT.

Tamina Snuka vs. Sofia Cortez

Tamina grabs an armdrag to start but Cortez comes back with some kicks to the ribs. Tamina hits a forearm to the chest and Sofia gives her a look that says “HOW DARE YOU” before wrapping Tamina up with a bodyscissors. Snuka comes with some chops and a superkick for two. The Superfly Splash gets the pin at 2:52. Sofia showed a lot of fire here, which means nothing because she was released about ten days ago.

Raquel Diaz jumps Tamina post match and draws the lipstick L on Tamina’s head.

Kassius Ohno vs. Jake Carter

I believe Carter is Vader’s son. Feeling out process for the first minute with no one being able to get an advantage. Carter takes him into the corner and pounds away but Ohno suckers him in and takes over. Ohno puts on a Cravate but misses a big boot. Carter hits a side slam for two but walks into the rolling elbow for the pin at 3:55. According to Regal it’s called the Dream Killer.

Rating: D+. I know Ohno was an indy legend, but his NXT stuff hasn’t really grabbed me. He just kind of does the same strikes over and over until hitting the spinning forearm/elbow for the pin. There’s no story to his matches for the most part and they’re just not that good. I’ve only seen a bit of his indy stuff and it was way better than his stuff here.

Ohno beats on Carter some more until Richie Steamboat makes the save.

We get the same package from Raw and Summerslam, showing us what WWE did in LA for Summerslam week.

More people talk about the Gold Rush Tournament and what it means to be champion.

Michael McGillicutty/Johnny Curtis vs. Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel

Michael and Kidd start us off as Regal talks about Walt Disney spinning in his refrigerator. Wouldn’t that be a freezer? Kidd takes him down by the arm and tags in Gabriel to speed things up. Kidd comes back in with a slingshot rollup for two as McGillicutty can’t get anything going so far. A double kick to the rib keeps McGillicutty in trouble. Curtis comes in for a distraction and McGillicutty takes Justin’s head off with a clothesline.

We take a break and come back with Curtis hitting a forearm to Gabriel to knock him down. Back to McGillicutty who doesn’t stay in long at all. Curtis comes in and hits a suplex before it’s off to the chinlock. Gabriel tries to speed it up but walks into an AA (that’ll likely get Curtis in trouble) from Curtis to put him down again. Johnny tries a twisting moonsault but crashes and both guys are down.

There’s the hot tag to Kidd and a lukewarm one to McGillicutty as well. Kidd fires off some kicks to the head for two but McGillicutty and Curtis hit a side slam/slingshot “leg” (more like a hip) drop combo for two. Back to Curtis who can’t hit a superplex but Kidd slips off the top trying a moonsault press. McGillicutty is knocked to the floor and a Hart Attack with a Blockbuster from Gabriel gets the pin on Curtis at 7:42 shown of 11:12.

Rating: C+. Good fast paced tag match here but it got a bit sloppy at times. These guys are like the Cruiserweights in WCW: you can throw them out there in almost any combination and the match is going to be entertaining. Kidd and McGillicutty are ready for regular TV but for some reason they rarely make it onto those shows.

Kassius Ohno accepts a challenge from Richie Steamboat, presumably for next week.

It’s time for the showdown to end the show. Byron Saxton calls out Seth Rollins and Jinder Mahal for a face to face chat. Rollins says that his dream is to be in WWE and that’s all that matters to him. He’s on the brink of achieving that dream and he’s not leaving here without becoming the champion. Mahal speaks Punjab and says that Rollins is a failure. The fight is on and Rollins dives onto Mahal on the floor and stands tall in the ring to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The point of this show was to build up the title match next week and they did that very well. They made the NXT Title match feel like a big deal which is pretty impressive given that it’s the minor league championship. Having a showdown like that was a nice touch and while I’m not wild on either guy, I want to see them fight now. The rest of the matches were just ok, but they weren’t the point of the show tonight.

Results
Antonio Cesaro b. Derick Bateman – Neutralizer

Tamina Snuka b. Sofia Cortez – Superfly Splash

Kassius Ohno b. Jake Carter – Dream Killer

Justin Gabriel/Tyson Kidd b. Michael McGillicutty/Johnny Curtis – Blockbuster to Curtis

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

I went to my first Raw in June 2009.  On that night, The Miz was on the show.He called out John Cena in a “feud” that basically consisted of Miz calling out Cena over and over and when Cena didn’t acknowledge him, Miz declared himself the winner.  Eventually Cena beat him in basically a squash at The Bash.

 

Flash forward less than two years.  Wrestlemania just went off the air and this is the final result you see:

 

The Miz b. John Cena – Miz pinned Cena after a Rock Bottom from the Rock

 

Who in the world would have believed you would have seen that?  Miz went from being the host of Smackdown to a chick magnet to a guy in a funny show on WWE.com to a joke tag champion to a good tag team champion to a guy who called out Cena to the US Champion to Mr. MITB to world champion, pinning Cena in the main event of Wrestlemania.

 

Oh and Rock came back and was in the main event of Wrestlemania and will be in the main event of the Royal Rumble next year.  You never know what you’re going to get.

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 20, 2012
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Summerslam and nothing of note has changed. Punk is still champion, Lesnar beat up HHH as we expected him to, and there isn’t much else to talk about. Things will start to die down now as they always do in the fall but hopefully things aren’t all that bad. Let’s get to it.

Here are Heyman and Lesnar to open the show. Heyman brags for Lesnar about making HHH tap last night. Apparently that means that HHH quit on all of the fans because he couldn’t survive Lesnar. It’s HHH’s fault though because he told the referee to not stop the match no matter what happened and that’s what happened. Heyman asks the referee to come down here to be addressed by Brock.

Lesnar gets in the referee’s face and pulls Armstrong to himself, before saying good job. Heyman says Lesnar is the new king of kings. He’s the master of the Brocktogon and the conqueror of the WWE Universe.

Sin Cara/Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Prime Time Players/Cody Rhodes

Kofi and Young start us off with Darren being in trouble early. The champs’ team clears the ring and we take a break. Back with Truth coming in to punch Young a bit more. Ax kick hits and Khloe Kardashian is the social media ambassador tonight. Good grief. Off to Cody who comes in with a release gordbuster on Truth to take over. Titus comes in with the neck crank on Truth as things slow down.

O’Neal barks which is called the Q Bark now apparently. He suplexes Young onto Truth for two which is a takeoff on the Hart Foundation’s slam version back in the day. Off to a bodyscissors from Young followed by a chinlock from Titus. Kofi seems to have disappeared. Cara snaps off some ranas to clear the ring and Kofi dives on the Players. I guess he didn’t disappear. Back in the ring Cody goes for the mask but gets rolled up by Cara for the pin at 10:10.

Rating: C-. This was a bit slow but I have no problem with combining a few feuds. That being said, why are the Players facing Kingston and Truth still? They lost twice already, clean both times I believe. Anyway, Cara continues to look good as they keep him in short bursts. A feud for the mask is fine but wasn’t that what his first feud was for? Anyway this was decent.

AJ is in the back when Otunga returns. He offers his services and she gets mad for some reason, giving him a match against a mystery opponent. Otunga leaves and AJ responds to a Tout from Punk earlier, where he said he wanted to name his own number one contender. That’s cool with AJ, but she has final say over it.

Ryback vs. Mike Spitter/Andy Takarez

One step forward, two steps back for Ryback. Ryback hits three powerbombs on let’s say Andy. He shouts for Jinder and loads up the double Shell Shocked when Mahal comes in for the DQ at 1:29.

Ryback puts on the Clutch but gets destroyed anyway. The jobbers get beaten up too.

Dolph comes up to Jericho in the back and Jericho lists off his names. AJ comes in and makes a rematch between the two, with the obvious stipulation of Case vs. job.

Here’s Del Rio to say exactly what you would expect him to say. We get stills of him having the foot on the ropes, he wants a rematch, we’re all going to be bored. Cue AJ who says that’s not her territory but Del Rio can have a match here instead.

Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio

Before the bell and after a break, here’s Sheamus to join the fun. Orton dropkicks Alberto down for two almost immediately and hooks a chinlock. A slingshot suplex puts Del Rio down and there’s the Circle Stomp and kneedrop for two. Del Rio comes back with a knee and a chinlock for the sake of calling some spots. He mocks Orton’s mat smacking and goes up for some reason, only to get superplexed down for two. They slug it out from their knees with the Viper taking over.

After the clotheslines from Orton he loads up the Elevated DDT, only for Del Rio to escape and hit an enziguri. A charge from Del Rio is caught and Orton hooks his backbreaker. After a pair of kicks to the arm it’s apparently time for the armbreaker (he should just call it Destiny) but Orton counters into a neckbreaker for two. The Elevated DDT out of the corner gets no cover as Orton loads up the RKO. Ricardo comes in but Sheamus and a glare from Orton stops him. Del Rio hits a Backstabber for two as Sheamus points out the feet being on the rope to the referee. The distraction lets Orton hit the RKO for the pin at 8:30.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad and hopefully it sets up a triple threat instead of another one on one match. Orton is in the kind of position where he can be thrown into a match like that and lose without it hurting him at all. He can add a lot to the match though, especially some fresh blood to a boring feud between Sheamus and Del Rio. Decent enough match here.

Punk says there was no controversy to his win last night. He still wants respect.

We get a Tout from Antonio Cesaro and Aksana in the ring after winning the title last night.

Here’s the video on the stuff WWE did in LA this past week.

Damien Sandow vs. Brodus Clay

The intellectual says he’s going to send the Funkasaurus back into extinction. That’s quite the mind. Sandow sends him into the corner but the power game takes over for Brodus. He backdrops Damien and dances a bit. Sandow gets slammed down again and an elbow keeps him down. Daniem tries to go after the knee of Brodus which has been bad for weeks now. That gets him nowhere other than put in the corner where Brodus does Big Show’s gyrating hip attack. A running headbutt to the chest puts Sandow down again but a splash misses in the corner and Sandow rolls him up with tights for the pin at 2:40.

We go to Shawn Michaels in San Antonio. He says he was watching last night and talks about how it may have been the end for HHH. Shawn says you can prepare yourself for the end of your career but when it hits, you can’t be ready for it. HHH left it all in the ring last night and couldn’t get it done, so maybe his career is over. Shawn says that he was another distraction to HHH and if he had been in HHH’s corner, maybe he would have won. HHH is one of the best ever and Shawn we all love him.

David Otunga vs. Big Show

Total dominance by Show who is wrestling more like a face here. He fires off some knees to the head of Otunga and hits the Eye of the Hurricane (I think Show called it the Final Cut back in the day but I’m not sure) before finishing with the WMD at 2:07.

Earlier today Show ranted about the match last night.

Kane/Zach Ryder vs. The Miz/Daniel Bryan

The idea is that the partners have had issues in the past. That’s an understatement. They do acknowledge the issues Kane and Ryder have had which is a big help. Ryder gets in the ring very slowly and doesn’t look happy at all. Bryan starts with Kane but Bryan tags out less than two seconds in. We get a DANIEL BRYAN chant as it’s off to Ryder. There were two tags within the first fifteen seconds.

A middle rope dropkick sends Miz into the corner but Miz kicks Ryder in the face to escape. Bryan comes in and the place ERUPTS. He stomps on Ryder while taunting him about making a tag. Back to Miz who pulls on Ryder’s face and hits a neckbreaker for two. Back to Bryan who fires off some kicks in the corner. Bryan accidentally runs into Miz, allowing Kane to get the tag.

Miz won’t tag in now so it’s Bryan vs. Kane. Daniel’s solution? Slap the monster. Bryan runs into the crowd and Miz leaves too. Kane chokeslams Ryder for old times’ sake and beats up the steps and table. The timekeeper gets thrown around and Ryder gets a tombstone. Does Vince have some kind of fetish for seeing Kane beat him up? We’ll say the match ended at 6:00.

Rating: D+. Not much here but unfortunately it doesn’t set up Miz vs. Ryder for the IC Title which would have been a good short feud for both guys. Kane and Bryan both having anger management issues could be interesting, although I hope it doesn’t wind up being about Charlie Sheen as the dynamic there would be weird.

Cena won’t say Punk is best in the world.

Punk says that he picks John Cena for his #1 contender if Cena will accept a condition. It’s not particularly stated but the condition seems to be that Cena has to respect him.

Divas Battle Royal

This is for the #1 contendership. I think there are seven in this and I’m not going to bother listing them. Aksana and Rosa go out at the same time and we have Eve, Tamina, Alicia, Natalya and Kaitlyn in there still. I didn’t see Beth or Kelly in at all. Kaitlyn is sent to the apron but Tamina drags her back in for no apparent reason.

Eve is down in the corner and talking to a referee about something. Tamina and Natalya double team various people but they don’t eliminate anyone. Alicia dropkicks them to the apron but both get back in. Natalya gets sent to the floor by missing a charge, Tamina superkicks Alicia out and Kaitlyn throws out Tamina. Eve gets up but can’t get Kaitlyn out so Kaitlyn clotheslines her out to win at 4:10.

Rating: D. It was longer than it needed to be, it was boring, and the two most famous Divas weren’t in it. I guess this sets up the match at Night of Champions which is as good a way as anything else to get us to that. Nothing to see here though as the Divas are just worthless other than looking good.

After a recap of the opening segment, we see a Tout from Lesnar saying he’s done with WWE because he’s accomplished everything he wanted to here. Winning one match was his whole list?

Wade Barrett is still coming back.

Daniel Bryan has to go to anger management classes, which gives us a way to talk about the WWE App for Android.

Vickie yells at Dolph about AJ. Dolph says this is about him tonight and not Vickie. Vickie freaks out again and Dolph says he’ll win. He leaves her in the locker room.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Jericho

Contract vs. MITB Case here. Jericho gets a quick rollup to start and Dolph bails to the floor. Back in and Jericho grabs another rollup for the same result. A missile dropkick puts Ziggler down and Jericho backdrops him out to the floor. The springboard dropkick puts Dolph out there again and we take a break. Back with Ziggler holding a chinlock and doing the handstand. Jericho finally escapes and takes Ziggler down with a shoulder.

A top rope double ax gets two as does what was supposed to be a rana but Jericho’s legs wound up under Ziggler’s legs. That could work as another move in its own right. Ziggler grabs a jumping DDT to put Jericho down and the match slows a bit. Fameasser misses and but Jericho can’t hook the Walls. Small package gets two for Ziggler but the Zig Zag is countered. The Lionsault hits knees and the Zig Zag gets rid of Jericho at 10:30.

Rating: C+. Another good match here from these two, although I’m not sure if last night’s result was the right call now. Wouldn’t it be better to have Jericho lose “the big one” last night and put up his job for a final chance to win? On the other hand, the win last night made Ziggler look like he was in a lot more jeopardy tonight so it’s hard to say. Actually the right call would have been to have these stips last night, but that’s too much foresight so we got this instead, which was still fine. The ending was never in doubt though as we knew Jericho was leaving.

Ziggler celebrates a lot post match but Jericho takes the case from Vickie. He hits Ziggler with it a few times and hits a Codebreaker for good measure. That’s a pretty heelish exit after he lost completely clean.

Here’s Punk to close the show. He goes to Lawler and wants an apology for Lawler saying that Punk turned his back on the WWE Universe. Before he can get that, here’s Cena. Punk is annoyed that Cena came out early because he’s stealing the spotlight again. He’s tired of taking a backseat to Cena and Rock and everyone else. Punk has done it out of respect but he’s never gotten any respect back.

He’s tired of walking through airports and having people saying “what’s up champ, why weren’t you in the main event?” Punk says that he respects Cena and allows him to go on last, drawing a CM Punk chant. Punk talks about beating Cena twice last year for the title and for beating him last night for the title again. Last year he had to hold the company up to get some respect. Cena is the #1 contender now because Punk has to beat him again to get respect.

Punk talks about looking into the crowd and seeing all of the green (Cena’s current colors in case it’s 2017 or something). He wants Cena to say he respects Punk because the people will follow whatever Cena says. The title shot is his if he’ll say Punk is the best in the world. That line gave me flashbacks to Jesus in the wilderness with Satan. Cena talks about how he believes in the people and how he has to believe in himself. Based on that, he can’t say it because he doesn’t believe it. He says he believed in everything he said leading up to the match with Rock and if he gets a rematch he’ll say it again.

Punk has held the title for nine months and all anyone remembers is him blowing a kiss to Vince (which was before this title reign but you get the point). Cena will not say Punk is the best in the world but he’s giving Punk another option: he’s offering Punk vindication. If Punk can beat Cena in Cena’s hometown, that will prove he’s the best in the world. If Punk won’t do it, Cena has no respect for him. With that, Cena leaves Punk in the middle of the ring alone.

Punk immediately turns to Lawler and says he wants an apology right now. He demands an apology because he never turned his back on the WWE Universe as Lawler said he did. Lawler gets in the ring and says it’s a misunderstanding but apologizes. He goes to leave but Punk stops him. If Cena won’t say Punk is the best in the world, the people will believe Lawler, as he’s the minister of propaganda for the WWE. Lawler thinks but he can’t say it. He goes to leave again and Punk kicks him in the head. Punk stares down as the show ends.

Overall Rating: B-. There was something very important tonight that has been missing from Raw lately: there was a clear direction. Tonight we had I believe three potential matches set up for Night of Champions. Everything on the show seemed to have a point and that kept things from dragging. This was a decent show and I liked it more than most of the recent episodes, which is a good sign as we’re in a new period of the year. Cena and Punk are channeling Savage vs. Hogan in 88/89 when the Mega Powers Exploded and that sounds awesome.

Results

Kofi Kingston/R-Truth/Sin Cara b. Prime Time Players/Cody Rhodes – Rollup to Rhodes

Ryback b. Mike Spitter/Andy Takarez via DQ when Jinder Mahal interfered

Randy Orton b. Alberto Del Rio – RKO

Damien Sandow b. Brodus Clay – Rollup with a handful of tights

Big Show b. David Otunga – WMD

Kaitlyn won a battle royal last eliminating Eve

Dolph Ziggler b. Chris Jericho – Zig Zag

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Summerslam 2012
Date: August 19, 2012
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s that time of the year again and I can’t say I particularly care about most of the show. The main events here are HHH vs. Lesnar in a match that has taken WAY too long to get to, Sheamus defending against Del Rio in a match we saw last month with Sheamus winning, and Cena vs. Punk vs. Big Show in a match that Show flat out does not need to be in. I’m not that fired up about this show again but hopefully they pull something off. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: US Title: Santino Marella vs. Antonio Cesaro

Antonio is challenging and has beaten Santino twice I believe in the past few weeks. Santino takes him to the mat to start and works over the arm with an armbar. Cesaro misses a charge and it’s Cobra time but Antonio knocks Santino down and kicks the Cobra to the corner. We hit the chinlock for awhile and the idea is now that the Cobra is in the corner and Santino needs to get to it. This isn’t exactly Jake Roberts but they’re trying at least. Cesaro rips the Cobra up and Santino gets all fired up. He fires off his usual stuff but misses the headbutt. The Neutralizer is countered and Santino has another Cobra. He loads it up but Aksana’s distraction allows Cesaro to hit him in the ribs and the Neutralizer gives Cesaro the title at 5:05.

Rating: D+. This was about what it should have been, stupid sock thing aside. There was only so much you could do at this point with Santino as champion so having him lose to Cesaro here was the right move. With all these new stars they’re pushing, they have to actually give a title to someone and Cesaro is as good as anyone else. Decent opener, but it kind of deflates the crowd before a show.

The opening video is about the 25 years of this show (even though there have only been 24 editions of it and WWE still can’t count) and the main events, mainly focusing on Lesnar vs. HHH of course.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Jericho

Ziggler has pink sunglasses to go with the shirt now. Jericho is injured coming in and word on the street is that this is his last night or next to last night so that’ll likely come into play. The idea is that Jericho can’t win the big one anymore which is an interesting way to go. Ziggler runs to start but the old man chases him down and speeds thing up. Jericho slips on what I think was supposed to be a spinning crossbody coming out of the corner but it only gets two.

Ziggler gets knocked down again but he reverses a suplex and goes for the bad legs. Dolph tries to speed things up but gets backdropped to the floor for his efforts. Jericho loads up the springboard dropkick but Ziggler moves, sending Jericho crashing into the floor. Back in and Ziggler works on the ribs as you would expect him to do. After knocking Jericho down again he uses Jericho’s arrogant cover for two. That’s awesome stuff there.

A corner splash misses and Jericho dropkicks Ziggler to the floor. Back in and Ziggler charges into a boot followed by a double ax from the middle rope from Jericho for two. The Fameasser out of nowhere gets the same for Dolph and Vickie is freaking out. The Walls are countered but Jericho hits an enziguri for two. Jericho doesn’t seem like he’s selling the ribs at all here. The sleeper goes on out of nowhere but the Canadian escapes and puts Ziggler on the top.

In a cool spot, Jericho punches him in the head ten times while standing on the top rope before snapping off a top rope rana for a very delayed two. A jumping DDT out of nowhere gets two for Ziggler and now it’s Jericho in trouble. Jericho bulldogs Ziggler down but the Lionsault hits knees. Zig Zag gets two and the fans are getting into this. Ziggler goes to pick him up but walks into a Codebreaker, sending him to the floor. Vickie grabs Jericho’s foot as he throws Ziggler back in, giving Ziggler a small package for two. There are the Walls and Ziggler taps at 13:08.

Rating: B-. The selling in this was really getting on my nerves as Jericho didn’t seem like he wanted to sell at all. Based on this, I really hope Ziggler doesn’t cash in later to erase this match because it’s happened already. The match got better near the end but it wasn’t a masterpiece or anything. If the rumors of Jericho leaving soon are true, I don’t really get the idea of him beating Ziggler clean at all.

Time for a recap of Lesnar vs. HHH, this time being from Monday with Shawn getting his arm broken.

Heyman and Lesnar are in the back and Heyman says that tonight, it’s a fight to the finish, meaning the referee shouldn’t stop the match for anything. No word on if that’s the official rule or not.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

This is based off Bryan, Kane and Punk vying for AJ’s affections a few months ago. There was a month or so off in between there so the story didn’t quite follow up that well. Bryan tries to run from the monster to start but after the moonsault out of the corner, Kane slams him down and hits the low dropkick for two. There’s a big Daniel Bryan chant just before he gets his head kicked off for two. Bryan goes after the knee and kicks Kane to the floor where he hits the suicide shove, but Bryan might have hurt his shoulder. It seems to be ok though as Bryan hits a missile dropkick for one as he comes back in.

Kane starts his comeback with some corner clotheslines and a side slam for two before going up. Bryan escapes the chokeslam but gets uppercutted right down. For no apparent reason, Bryan punches Kane in the face and gets beaten down in the corner. It’s almost a DQ but Kane lets off because he’s mellow now. A kick to the arm looks to set up the NO Lock but Kane is too big and fried and freaky. The fans start driving Bryan crazy so his top rope headbutt is caught in the chokeslam for no cover. The tombstone is countered into a small package for the pin at 8:03 despite Kane’s arm clearly being off the mat.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but when you push the idea of this being a big deal of Bryan beating Kane, it might be better if they had had move than FOUR total matches (that’s ever, including a match on Raw like 3 months ago that Bryan won. This could have been the first hour main event on any given Smackdown.

Kane chases Bryan into the back and destroys Josh Matthews for talking to him.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Rey Mysterio

Miz is defending because Rey beat him once on Smackdown ten days ago, which is all you need for an IC Title match at Summerslam. Rey is dressed as Batman for some reason. The blowup AWESOME balloons are back on the stage. Mysterio immediately grabs a rollup for two so Miz bails to the floor. AJ has tweeted that she’ll deal with Kane tomorrow night. Rey gets sent to the floor but he rolls through it to land safely. That was kind of cool.

An attempt at the sitout bulldog on the floor is countered by Miz throwing Rey into the barricade. Back in and Rey escapes a belly to back suplex into a cross body for two. Miz hits a kind of Abyss Shock Treatment for two which was a good looking move for him. Off to a cravate from the champion followed by the corner clothesline. Miz loads up his top rope ax handle but Mysterio crotches him to get a breather.

Rey heads up and hits the seated senton, only to get caught in a sitout powerbomb when he tries a rana. Rey kicks him in the head for two before countering a slam into a spinning DDT for the same. Rey ranas him off the top into the 619 but the top rope splash misses. The Finale is countered into a rollup for a very close two. And never mind as the Skull Crushing Finale retains the title for Miz at 9:13.

Rating: C. This was another decent match but it’s nothing that jumps off the page at you. Mysterio didn’t need to win the title here and Miz winning another match over a big name is certainly a good thing, but sweet goodness I did not care at all. The match came and went and most people didn’t care because there was almost no build at all. Nothing to see here although it wasn’t bad.

We’re roughly an hour into this and there’s nothing of note at all so far. It’s been the epitome of a meh show.

Eve and Teddy say nothing of note outside AJ’s office so Punk heads in to see AJ. After some exposition, Punk gets annoyed that AJ won’t respond to anything he says. He says he’ll retain the title tonight and AJ says nothing at all, nor does she move at all.

We recap Sheamus vs. Del Rio. Del Rio injured Sheamus’ arm before their match last month which Sheamus won clean. This month, Del Rio injured Sheamus’ arm before their match and then Sheamus stole his car. There’s nothing to this feud and no one seems interested at all in seeing it.

Smackdown World Title: Sheamus vs. Alberto Del Rio

Feeling out process to start with both guys going for finishers early on. Sheamus misses the Brogue Kick, allowing Del Rio to kick Sheamus to the floor. Oh and Sheamus is defending. Del Rio sends him into the steps and it’s back inside for a chinlock. A neckbreaker is countered by Alberto into some kicks to the face for two. We’re only a few minutes into this and it’s already dull.

Del Rio pounds his own chest and shouts BROGUE but charges into a double ax from the champ. A charge into the corner hits post though and Del Rio takes over for all of a second. The shoulder missile from Sheamus is broken up and a Codebreaker to the arm from the top gets two. The armbreaker goes on out of nowhere but Sheamus powers out of it into a kind of powerbomb. White Noise gets two and it’s Brogue Kick time, but Del Rio hides in the corner.

That’s fine for Sheamus as he hits the ten forearms to the chest followed by some punches in the corner. Del Rio drops Sheamus face first into the buckle and the running enziguri gets two. Ricardo comes in for no apparent reason and loses a shoe as Alberto yells at him. Sheamus blasts him with it and hits an Irish Curse for the pin at 11:21 but Alberto had his foot on the ropes. Geez we have to sit through this AGAIN next month?

Rating: D. STOP PUSHING DEL RIO BECAUSE NO ONE FREAKING CARES ABOUT HIM! I like Sheamus but my goodness no one cares about this feud and now it’s going to go on ANOTHER month because WE WILL CARE ABOUT ALBERTO WHETHER WE WANT TO OR NOT. I’m so bored of seeing these two fight when it’ll be another arm injury for Sheamus before Del Rio finally gets the title you know he has to get. The wrestling was fine and the rating is probably low but dang man, give Sheamus ANYONE else to feud with.

Some soldiers are here.

HHH told the referee earlier to only end it on a pin or submission. Let them fight apparently.

We’re looking at Tweets from Shawn throughout the night.

Tag Titles: Prime Time Players vs. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth

The Players are challenging despite losing clean to the champs on TV a few weeks ago. Truth is also injured coming in because that’s a running theme tonight. Truth and Young start things off and I guess Truth is ok after the emphasis they gave to him getting beaten down on Raw. Off to Titus who has a bit better luck, slamming Truth down and putting him in a front facelock. There’s the tag to Kofi and NO ONE reacts when he springboards in to attack O’Neal. Boom Drop hits but Young’s distraction breaks up Trouble in Paradise.

The challengers make Kofi chase them around the ring, which lets Titus clothesline Kofi down to take over. Darren puts on a chinlock followed by a powerslam for two. Titus hooks a quickly broken abdominal stretch but as he tries a spinning Rock Bottom, Kofi counters into a DDT. Off to Young vs. Truth and the fans don’t react again. Everything breaks down and Kofi dives onto Titus on the floor. Young gets two on a rollup on Truth before the Little Jimmy retains the titles at 7:07.

Rating: C. Why? Why in the world would you keep the titles on Kofi and Truth, who haven’t done jack with the belts in months. My only guess is because of AW, because clearly the Prime Time Players, a decent team in their own right, need to be punished for something their manager said. This show is getting worse and worse as it goes on and that’s not good.

We recap the events in LA before the PPV. Basically, BE A STAR!

HHH vs. Lesnar is main eventing. Is anyone really surprised by that?

We recap the triple threat match which is Cena vs. Punk vs. Show. Cena is there because Punk is tired of being overshaddowed by him and Show is there because we can’t just have Cena vs. Punk which is an interesting match and because we potentially need a fall guy for Cena to win the title without beating Punk.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. John Cena vs. Big Show

Cole gives the dreaded stats of Punk’s title reign, which are usually the kiss of death. Punk has pink trunks tonight which is a different look for him. Cole points out that Punk hasn’t main evented a PPV since December. Way to push your champion as a big deal there Cole/Vince. Then again that’s the idea of the angle but it doesn’t help much. Show takes them both down to start with his big man power offense and does the SHH chops.

Punk and Cena team up to beat on Show but he runs them over. Cole calls Punk and Cena an unlikely alliance. You know, because two guys against Big Show NEVER team up on him. The small guys finally put Show down but Punk can’t GTS him. Cena tries an AA but Punk breaks it up. Show takes over again and as you would guess, things slow back down. Cena gets knocked to the floor but Show misses a splash on Punk. The springboard clothesline is caught by Show and a slam gets no cover.

Show loads up the WMD but Cena goes after Show to break it up. Show spears Cena down for two and the small guys are down again. The Vader Bomb aimed at both only hits Cena but Punk saves the pin. Show and Cena go to the floor and the Big Bald catches Punk in mid suicide dive. He throws Punk into the ropes and heads back inside. Cena loads up his finishing sequence on Show to huge boos, only to get taken down by Punk.

Punk drops the elbow on Show for two. A kick to the head puts Show down and Punk throws on a Kofi Clutch but Show powers out again. Cena puts Show in the STF but more power escapes it for Big show. Cena’s middle rope cross body doesn’t work but the springboard clothesline from Punk puts him down. The running knee in the corner staggers Show but the bulldog is countered. Top rope Fameasser puts Show down and it’s a Koji Clutch and the STF at the same time for the tap.

Cue AJ who says restart the match. Show chokeslams both guys and gets two on both. Cena pops up and hits the AA on Show, but Punk throws him to the floor and pins Show to retain at 12:38 total.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here for the most part, but I’m glad Punk retained….I think. One thing: what in the world was the point in the restart? If you want to go with Punk stealing the pin then that’s fine, but why in the world do the whole AJ thing? Anyway, this probably leads to Cena vs. Punk in Boston at Night of Champions, which is what this show should have been. Still though, the match was just ok at best, just like every other match tonight other than the opener.

Fred Durst, Piers Morgan, Rick Rubin (music producer), David Arquette and Maria Menounos are here.

There was a WWE Film premiere last night. It’s called The Day, which is another in the long line of great titles from WWE Films.

We recap the pre-show match.

Time for the annual Summerslam concert as Kevin Rudolph performs Be A Star. I have never heard so much silence when a musician takes the stage Some Divas come out and dance with him. The announcers dance too. This just came and went.

Time for the BIG recap of Lesnar vs. HHH.

HHH vs. Brock Lesnar

Brock charges to start ala vs. Cena but HHH punches his way out of the arm. Brock gets the arm hold on and even jumps onto a standing HHH with it but HHH punches out of it again. A clothesline puts Lesnar on the floor and a jumping knee puts Lesnar down again. Lesnar gets sent to the floor for the second time and this has been almost all HHH in the first two minutes.

Lesnar gets back in and takes his gloves off. He takes HHH down with ease and blasts him in the back of the head, which is illegal in UFC. Out to the floor and Lesnar hits a hammerlock slam on the table. Back in and another hammerlock slam hurts the arm even more. Lesnar wraps the arm around the ropes as this is basically a regular match so far. The F5 is countered but Lesnar hits a big German suplex to take him down again. HHH grabs a DDT to slow Lesnar down but it’s right back to the arm hold.

That doesn’t last so it’s hammerlock slam #3 followed by HHH being sent into the steps arm first. They head to the announce table and Brock jumps off of it with a forearm to the back of the head/neck. Back in and Brock uses a freaking small package of all things for two. Lesnar clotheslines him down and the match slows down again. The Game grabs a suplex to finally get himself a breather and both guys are down.

The Pedigree is countered and HHH gets to do his fly over the corner bump. Out to the floor again and HHH sends Lesnar into the table to slow him down. Lesnar looks hurt, like legit hurt. It looks like his groin or ribs. Lesnar shouts about his stomach and things slow WAY down. Oh never mind he was apparently playing possum. If so that’s the best selling Brock has ever done.

HHH knees him in the ribs to escape the arm lock and does it again a few times for good measure. Spinebuster puts Lesnar down but the Pedigree is countered into an also countered F5. Pedigree hits on the second attempt but it only gets two. Lesnar hits HHH low but Armstrong (referee) won’t call the DQ as per HHH’s orders.

The F5 hits but only gets two, which only shocks about half the audience. The kimura (arm lock) finally goes on in full but HHH makes the rope….which means nothing here. HHH pounds out of the hold because that’s how tough he is or something. Out of nowhere HHH hits a second Pedigree but Lesnar no sells into the kimura. Lesnar cranks on it and HHH taps at 18:45.

Rating: B. Well, it’s safe to say they’ve lost the point of Lesnar already. This was a standard WWE main event style match with HHH getting in more offense in about 80 seconds than Cena got in through his entire 20+ minute match with Lesnar. Brock trying the arm hold about 10 times before getting it in good doesn’t make him look awesome or anything. It makes him look like someone with one move and no game plan at all aside from that. The match was good but when you go from Cena and Lesnar having a potential match of the year to this, it’s a pretty big letdown.

HHH gets to do the big “I don’t need medical help” stand up and walk out but the fans tell him he tapped out.  They play it up like it’s his last match.  Right.

Overall Rating: D+. This show wasn’t bad. It was the thing that’s far worse than bad: it was dull. The matches were all fine, but at the end of the day, pretty much nothing happened here. The only title change was on the preshow and it looks like we’re gearing up for more Sheamus vs. Del Rio next month, which is boring me to tears. Cena vs. Punk will be awesome but it could have been awesome here. The show wasn’t bad, but it was underwhelming. It’s a weak ending to a pretty good summer for WWE.

Results

Chris Jericho b. Dolph Ziggler – Walls of Jericho

Daniel Bryan b. Kane – Small Package

The Miz b. Rey Mysterio – Skull Crushing Finale

Sheamus b. Alberto Del Rio – Irish Curse

Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Prime Time Players – Little Jimmy to Young

CM Punk b. John Cena and Big Show – Pinned Show after an AA from Cena

Brock Lesnar b. HHH – Kimura

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Summerslam 2011
Date: August 14, 2011
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

 

It’s the biggest party of the summer. Wait that was another ad campaign. It’s Summerfest! No wait that’s a Piven botch. It’s Punk vs. Cena II. Well actually more like their 8^th match but the second PPV main event. Seriously that’s the extent of the hype for this show. There’s also Christian vs. Orton V or whatever but that’s really minor by comparison. There’s also a mini concert because those have worked oh so well before right? Let’s get to it.

The guitarist from Tool plays a rock version of the Star Spangled Banner. He’s no Man Mountain Rock.

 

The opening video is about how we’re in LA and LA is awesome. This is like the 4^th year in a row it’s been in LA. Might be three but still that’s a ton. There’s another video about how there’s a domino effect in the Punk vs. Cena war. That Bright Lights Bigger City song is growing on me a bit.

 

Here’s Miz to open the show and he’ll be in a six man tag. He first has something to say. Why am I not surprised? He says he’s returned to Summerslam and wants to thank the fans for insisting he competes tonight. Miz is cut off by Truth who talks about spiders. They start with the letter S, as does Summerslam. Singing also starts with an S and Cee Lo Green is singing tonight. You know what else starts with a C? CONSPIRACY!!! Del Rio cuts him off to save our sanity.

 

The Miz/Alberto Del Rio/R-Truth vs. Kofi Kingston/Rey Mysterio/John Morrison

 

Well they had to fill in the card with something. Del Rio gets a face reaction from the Hispanic heavy crowd. Kofi has white shorts now. Morrison, the hometown boy, gets NOTHING. We get a recap of Rey getting jumped by Miz on Monday. The rest of the feuds I think you know. The bell rings almost 15 minutes into the show. Miz vs. Kofi to start us off. There’s a Miz is Awesome chant.

 

Big monkey flip and a dropkick put Miz down. Off to Morrison and we get double flapjacks/double nipups. Nice fast paced stuff to start so far. Off to Truth vs. Morrison and Truth isn’t afraid anymore. There’s the springboard spin kick (Moonlight Drive I think? It’s the same one Cody uses for the most part) but it only gets two. The heels cheat (EVIL!) and send Morrison to the floor to shift momentum.

 

Off to Miz who hooks a chinlock which eats up some time. Morrison fights out of it with something resembling a Pele kick (ala AJ) and it’s warm tag Kofi. That cross body is SWEET. Miz takes him down and every heel not named Alberto works him over. Time for Kofi to imitate a long haired blonde guy from the 80s who thought he could sing named Morton for a good while.

 

We’re just waiting on the hot tag to Rey at this point. And yep there it is. The seated kick to Truth gets two. 619 is broken up and a second is as well. Rey makes up for that by hitting one to Truth and Miz at the same time. Everything breaks down and the faces all start diving like a broke boxer in Vegas. The ring is cleared and Rey hits the top rope splash on Truth for the pin at 9:30.

 

Rating: B-. Solid opener here which was very fast paced. That’s exactly what the opening match is supposed to be. You had to get a bunch of these guys on the show somehow and this is as good a way as any. I like these random tag matches because you combine feuds and manage to get a fun match too. Not everything needs to have some epic backstory to it to be a good match and this is proof of it. Good stuff.

 

Johnny Ace demands a public apology from Punk for getting kicked in the head. Well Ace is certainly annoying already so he’s doing his job. Punk mockingly apologizes and Ace leaves. Punk turns around and there’s the still hot Stephanie. She says HHH, Cena and Vince have all wished him good luck. He kind of says she’s brainless and she offers him a handshake anyway. “I would but I know where that hand has been.”

 

Recap of Henry vs. Sheamus which is basically about Sheamus being the only guy willing to fight Henry. That’s still a cool moment.

 

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

 

I can’t imagine this going long. Sheamus gets in a few shots early on but then the beating begins. Henry hammers on Sheamus and we head to the floor where Henry gorilla presses Sheamus into the ring through the top and middle ropes. That was kind of awesome. Splash gets two. There’s a backbreaker and now an over the shoulder body vice.

 

The pale one fights out of it and manages to take Henry down for a moment. Emphasis on the moment aspect though as Henry takes him down again. The Vader Bomb misses though and Sheamus starts his comeback. A flying axehandle puts him on the mat and Sheamus starts dropping some knees. He fires off the forearms to the chest when Henry is caught in the ropes.

 

Sheamus hits the ropes and they collide, sending both guys down for a few seconds. The Irishman hits a top rope shoulder block for two. The cord is of course hot here because it’s LA and it’s a wrestling town. Sheamus pounds his chest but the Brogue Kick misses. Henry tries the World’s Strongest Slam but Sheamus counters and the Brogue Kick sends Henry to the floor. He’s out cold and dead weight now. Naturally since Sheamus is a face now he goes after him and is rammed back first into the post and then through the barricade which explodes. It’s a countout win by Henry at 9:20.

 

Rating: C. Well it’s Sheamus vs. Mark Henry. What were you expecting here other than power vs. power? This could probably lead to a gimmick match down the line which I wouldn’t be opposed to seeing. They backed themselves into a corner with the booking here though and it was pretty obvious that they weren’t going to do a clean ending here, which is understandable.

 

Christian is in the back with a big smile on his face. He has an insurance policy and the entire WWE is the beneficiary. Anything goes and we’re in LA, which means the match is going to be like a summer blockbuster like Harry Potter. Well that’s better than a Buff Blockbuster I guess. Oh Christian is Potter while Orton is Cowboys and Alience. I haven’t seen that yet so I can’t make a joke there.

 

Ad for some movie.

 

Time to kill off any momentum we had built up in the first 45 minutes with a performance by Cee Lo Green. Since one song wasn’t enough, here’s another with some dancing Divas. Well we’ve just lost 5 minutes of my life.

 

Divas Title: Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix

 

Eve and Nattie are here as seconds. Kelly looking good in the tiny white shorts and Beth in the blue skirt thing. Kelly uses speed to take over and does her gymnastics stuff. I can’t complain about an upskirt shot of Beth. Kelly dives off the middle rope to the floor. That looked decent. Beth remembers that she’s Beth Phoenix and she’s fighting Kelly Kelly so she gets a gorilla hot shot for two. Booker and Jerry as for a wardrobe malfunction. Off to a chinlock as Cole says he’s turned off by Kelly over some photoshopping thing.

 

Beth hooks an over the shoulder backbreaker but Kelly escapes into a neckbreaker for two. Kelly gets put in the Tree of Woe but escapes via gymnastics. This is kind of stop and go match. Kelly gets all fired up and slams Beth’s head into the mat a few times to come back. She looks spent though. Handspring elbow is caught into the Glam Slam and Kelly rolls through for the pin at 6:20. Yes, that just happened totally clean.

 

Rating: C+. Given what I was expecting, this was a miracle. It’s nothing great or anything but they tried out there. It’s pretty easily Kelly’s best match ever and that’s not covering a lot but they worked hard and it came off pretty well. I totally don’t get the ending but the plastic chick going over in Hollywood makes sense.

 

Stephanie comes out of Cena’s locker room.

 

Jimmy freaking Hart of all people is with R-Truth and says he needs a manager. Truth realizes something: JIMMY IS LITTLE! HE’S LITTLE JIMMY!!! Truth scares him off and talks about the conspiracy, yelling at Ron Artest and his daughter who are just chilling in the back for no apparent reason.

 

Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan

 

Mat stuff to start with Barrett in control. Booker talks about Bryan having his lunch today. We had breakfast talk on Friday and now this? Jerry calls Barrett a carnivore which is a decent enough line. SICK looking arm hold into a pin attempt by Bryan. Cole is way off tonight, calling Barrett the submission specialist and thinking Bryan was the carnivore Jerry was talking about.

 

Cross body gets two for Bryan. There’s a dragon screw legwhip which has Dusty Rhodes freaking out I’m sure. Running dropkick in the corner gets two and it’s surfboard time. Here come the kicks as Bryan channels his inner Rockette. Barrett gets a shot in and takes over again. This has been a match of varying streaks which is usually a formula for good stuff.

 

Barrett gets a slingshot (thing Blanchard) backbreaker for two and it’s off to a chinlock. The British dude keeps expanding his arsenal with a flying forearm for two. Oh and Bryan has a much shorter haircut now. Barrett gets sent to the floor with a dropkick and a running knee square to the head. That looked SICK. Back inside now and the pumphandle slam is countered into more kicks. Bryan is speeding things up and taking over now.

 

HARD kicks to the chest but Barrett won’t go down. Ok a big one to the head puts him down. I think he kicked the British out of him. Now Barrett takes over again and loads up Wasteland but Bryan elbows out of it and throws on the guillotine. That doesn’t work and it’s off to the LeBell Lock but Barrett makes the rope. I thought that was the end. This is getting some time too. They go up to the corner and Bryan gets crotched. Barrett gets a middle rope lariat to the crotched Bryan and now he loads Wasteland, which is enough for the clean pin at 11:45.

 

Rating: B. Match of the night here by far and it was good stuff. They went back and forth hard here and it let both guys showcase themselves really well. Bryan losing here is ok because he didn’t look bad at all. You can lose and not look bad and this is a great example of that. Good match here and I was way into it near the end.

 

The California National Guard is here.

 

We recap Christian vs. Orton. Basically Christian played up Orton’s anger management and got him to snap long enough to lose the title at Money in the Bank. Tonight it’s no holds barred. And remember Christian has promised a surprise insurance policy.

 

The champ comes out first which is odd. He has a mic and says he’s a man of his words. The insurance policy…..IS EDGE???? His haircut is a little weird but he looks about the same. A bit skinnier though which is expected. If I didn’t have to hit the gym every day I certainly wouldn’t.

 

Edge says that he’ll never be able to wrestle again but he was happy when he left because he was able to pass the torch to Christian. He thought the first defense against Orton was unfair but then Christian started complaining a lot. Christian did win the title back but he did it by disqualification. Edge did a lot of weak things but he did it with style and was never boring.

 

He didn’t hide behind suits and clipboards. No Edge you hid behind Vickie. Somewhere along the lines Christian became a disgrace to himself. Christian knows he’s better than that but now he’s just a whiner. With that, Edge leaves to a nice ovation. And heeeeeeeeere’s Randy!

 

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Randy Orton

 

No holds barred remember. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Opening slugout is won by Orton and he hammers the Canadian down in the corner. Christian gets that reverse guillotine thing of his and a jumping back elbow (love that move) gets two. Back body drop sets up the Garvin Stomp and a knee drop for two. They have a ton of time here.

 

The psychology is working here because they’ve had like 5 matches beforehand to get each others’ moves down, meaning the counters make a lot more sense. Elevated DDT is blocked into a backdrop to the floor. Orton loads up the table but the RKO is counter. Christian grabs the belt and heads into the crowd. The GM computer is there but it hasn’t been used in weeks.

 

Orton catches him in the crowd and hammers away. Back to ringside now and Christian finds a kendo stick to pound on Orton. He chokes away and shouts a lot and gets two. Christian charges at him in the corner and gets rolled up into a VERY close two count. Spinebuster gets two for the champion. Orton fires off a dropkick to block a kendo stick shot from the middle rope.

 

Randy is bleeding from the mouth a bit. He starts his finishing sequence and there’s the powerslam. Now he’s got the stick but Christian gets his feet up to break that up. Middle rope dropkick is countered into a jackknife cover for two for Randy. Thesz Press takes Christian down but Christian counters into the Killswitch. That is countered into the backbreaker for two.

 

Orton grabs some tables from under the ring but Christian spears him into the railing. Cole recaps the show in case someone is flipping through the PPV channels and wants to see if they’re watching the right show they bought I suppose. There’s a table set up at ringside and one in the ring not set up. Orton superplexes Christian onto the unset table but might have hut his tailbone. It only gets two anyway.

 

The table is already broken but Orton puts it in the corner anyway. Yes slap a cracked table with some of the legs already broken. Nothing could go wrong with that idea. Christian counters the toss into it and hits the reverse DDT. He loads up the spear but Orton jumps over him. RKO is countered and we go back to the floor. Christian goes into the steps and does a nice flip over them.

 

Now Christian puts Orton’s head into the steps so Randy is going to take a little nap now. Edge’s former brother but now his best friend for life because kayfabe is more powerful than blood drills him with the monitor and I think he says RKO. Christian tries an RKO but Randy has fought the Undertaker a few times so he counters into the RKO of his own and both guys are down.

 

The fans say this is awesome and they’re getting there. Back in the ring and Orton tries another RKO but Christian counters into the Killswitch for a LONG two. The fans thought it was over. The Spanish announcers are trying to get back on the air which is a funny visual. Christian has a chair now and make it a pair of them. It’s Conchairto time but Christian spits on Orton and takes FOREVER, allowing Orton to get up and crack Christian with the chair. The Canadian goes to the apron and a running shot to the head sends Christian through the table.

 

Orton still isn’t done as he throws everything he’s got under the ring. There are steps, kendo sticks, garbage cans and the table that is still up in the corner. Christian is on the steps trying to get a breather. Orton puts his foot on the champ’s head and tries a stomp but Christian moves. Powerslam puts Christian through the very end of the table, meaning the rest of it is still standing.

 

Now it’s stick time and Christian’s back takes a shot. The stick is already bent after two shots. There’s an elevated DDT onto the can. It feels like they’re just killing time for some reason. Orton goes into RKO mode onto the steps but Christian finds a kendo stick from somewhere. He tries to go off the ropes but jumps into an RKO on the steps, giving Orton his 9^th world title at 24:36.

 

Rating: B+. Definitely a good match but they’ve had a better one, probably at Over the Limit. The beating was really good and the ending was SICK. Christian was defeated here and that’s what he needed to have done. They’ll probably have one more blowoff match, hopefully in the Cell which is where this feud could go. After that one though, I don’t know if there’s a point. Still though, very good match that didn’t feel like it was 25 minutes, which is a good thing.

 

Video about Axxeess while they clear out the ring. There’s a lot of anti-bullying stuff there too. There are some uh….celebrities here I guess they’re called.

 

Stephanie is talking to HHH but we can’t hear what’s being said.

 

We recap Punk vs. Cena in the same video we’ve seen three or four times already. I think you get the idea of this already.

 

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk

 

HHH is guest referee and it’s champion vs. champion. This show has been very good so far but if this match is as good as it could be, it hits great. Cult of Personality is a sweet song. We go way old school with a weapons check. Punk is far more popular than Cena. Feeling out process to start. The jean shorts are officially classic. The dueling chants begin and it’s totally domianted by Cena Sucks.

 

The feeling out process continues and John takes Punk to the mat almost in an amateur style. Now the fans think someone can’t wrestle. This has nearly 40 minutes if need be so they can build very slowly. Cena grabs a chinlock but Punk grabs one of his own including a body vice. Booker is complaining about the technical stuff. Release fisherman’s suplex gets two for John.

 

We’re seven minutes into this and there hasn’t been anything big yet. Then again it’s not even 10:30 so it’s not like they have to get going immediately. Punk in control and he drops a headbutt and it’s back to the bodyvice. HHH has been pretty inconsequential so far. Cena tries the STF but Punk kicks him off. The crowd is all over Cena tonight. Dropkick knocks Cena off the apron.

 

Back inside and Punk gets in some kicks to the ribs. There’s an Earthquake for two. Cena fights up but gets caught with a running knee to the head with him against the ropes. He falls onto the mat and fights up into You Can’t See Me. Cena tries the STF but Punk counters into the hold called the Anaconda Vice (Koji Clutch) which is countered into a modified STF. Cole sounds bored out of his mind on the hold.

 

Punk counters into the real Anaconda Vice (called a keylock) but Cena counters into a Crossface (called a front facelock or something) but Punk gets a rope. Suicide dive takes both guys out. HHH starts the count and both guys are down at 9. Thankfully he stops the count and goes to get them, drawing a round of applause. He throws both guys back in and says let’s go.

 

Both guys get up and it’s time for the slugout. Cena grabs an AA attempt but Punk escapes, only to get taken down by a SWEET dropkick. There’s the Shuffle but the AA is countered into a sunset flip which is countered into a jackknife cover which is countered into a backslide which is countered into a bridge and a kick to the head for two. AWESOME sequence!

 

GTS is countered and Cena hits a corner splash. Sitout powerslam gets two as this is getting awesome very quickly. Punk breaks up the top rope Fameasser with a running knee to the head (very popular move anymore) and a bulldog gets two. Punk tries the springboard clothesline but Cena counters into the STF but Punk grabs a rope. The fans are into it but they’re waiting on the HHH stuff I think.

 

AA is countered into the GTS which is countered into the AA for two. Cena complains to HHH but HHH says it was two. Cena goes up and gets HUGE air on the Fameasser but misses, crashing into the mat and possibly hurting his leg. GTS gets two and Punk is stunned. Punk goes up but is very tired. With a point to the air he drops an elbow for two. That made me smile. Punk’s face is great as he’s shocked.

 

There’s a Randy Savage chant which is the right idea. Cena grabs a rollup for two and Cena is all fired up. He punches away but Punk grabs a kick to the ribs and another knee to the head. GTS (hit the arm) gets three but Cena’s foot is on the rope. Chant with me: DUSTY FINISH! The pin went down at 24:30.

 

Rating: A+. It’s not as good as MITB but to call this less than a perfect grade would be unfair. They beat the tar out of each other and had some incredible chemistry as always. These two just have it and there’s no way to teach that. It worked perfectly and the whole thing was great. Cena was all over the place here, trying to prove how well he could work and that’s what he did here. Great match but great in a different way than last month, which is a good thing.

 

Punk is all happy post match but won’t shake HHH’s hand. HHH holds the arm up and leaves. Of all people KEVIN NASH is in the ring and beats up Punk, leaving him laying with a Jackknife. IT’S ALBERTO!!!

 

Raw World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk

 

Running enziguri and Del Rio is champion!!!!!!! He celebrates and we’re done. WOW.

 

Overall Rating: A+. I liked it better than MITB I think and that’s saying a whole lot. There isn’t a single bad match on the whole card as even the Divas were impressive. Great show here with a great pair of main events to end it. This has been an AWESOME summer and a lot of it has been spearheaded by Punk and hopefully it’s not going to end. The ending is great as we have questions, a great match and a new champion. Definitely worth seeing and it’s great for different reasons than MITB, which is a great sign. Great show and the best two show streak for WWE in years.

 

Results

Rey Mysterio/John Morrison/Kofi Kingston b. Alberto Del Rio/R-Truth/The Miz – Top Rope Splash to R-Truth

Mark Henry b. Sheamus via countout

Kelly Kelly b. Beth Phoenix – Victory Roll

Wade Barrett b. Daniel Bryan – Wasteland

Randy Orton b. Christian – RKO onto the steps

CM Punk b. John Cena – GTS

Alberto Del Rio b. CM Punk – Running enziguri

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

It’s Summerslam time and honestly I barely care after this lackluster build.  Let’s get to it.We’ll start with the matches of course.

For the preshow I’ll take Santino to retain in some wacky manner.  It should go to Cesaro to just give him something to do but they’re pushing Cesaro too hard to have him win here.

 

On to the main card, I’ll go with Bryan over Kane.  Bryan hasn’t won a singles match in months but yet he doesn’t need to win at all.  I’ll go with him because there is no reason to have Kane win at all here.

 

Ziggler over Jericho due to the word on the street being that Jericho is done after Sunday.

 

Miz to retain I guess but honestly does anyone care at all here?

 

Hopefully the Prime Time PLayers take the tag belts as Kofi and Truth are some of the lamest champions I can remember in a long time, which is saying something for the freaking tag team titles.

 

Sheamus over Del Rio with a possible cash in for Ziggler.  I really hope they don’t put it on Del Rio and then have Ziggy cash in.  That move drives me crazy.

 

For the main events, I’m hoping for Punk to retain but Big Show being in there would point to Cena walking out with the title.

 

For the real main event that hopefully won’t go on last, it has to be Lesnar.  I mean…..it HAS TO BE Lesnar……right?

 

Overall, this is one of the weakest looking Summerslams I can remember in a very long time.  The world title match is dragged down by a combination of Big Show and Punk seeming to have no idea if he’s a face or a heel.  At the end of the day, Rock continues to loom over this company but at least now there’s an open spot to face him at the Rumble.  Other than that, we have Lesnar vs. HHH in a feud that has almost no heat on it because it was started and then not mentioned again for three months before Shawn turned into a scared coward and Lesnar turned into every other cowardly heel that runs from a fight on the roster despite running over JOHN FREAKING CENA like he wasn’t there.  But hey, it makes HHH look more feared and if anyone needs the extra boost, it’s HHH.

 

Thoughts/predictions?

Summerslam 2010
Date: August 15, 2010
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Matt Striker, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Well we’re back again for the *insert Summerfest joke here* show. This is the epitome of a one match show as EVERYTHING has been about the Nexus invasion. The theory is that Cena turns tonight but I’m not sold on it. Nexus more or less has to win tonight or the angle is worthless. I’m not sold on this card very well at all, but it’s starting now so let’s get to it.

The opening is of course all about Nexus, which makes sense. The arena and set look great as this really is a huge show.

Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston

Pretty clear that Dolph retains here. Vickie does her usual whining and catchphrase here just to be annoying. Nice pop for Kofi but nothing great. We’re in MALTA BABY! Kofi misses a dive to start and is in trouble early on. Apparently the tag titles either aren’t major titles or his win is forgotten into the Rocker Tag Title Book of History. King makes a joke about liking 11s or 12s. On a 1-10 scale you freaking perverts.

Dolph is mostly dominant here as he hooks a chinlock. Kofi can’t get the “controlled frenzy” going according to Cole. Does everything have to have a name now? Dolph gets two on a roll thru of a cross body. We get a Fameasser reference from Striker as it makes Kofi famous. Even Lawler chuckles at it. He’s more energetic tonight for some reason. Trouble in Paradise misses, which might be because OF THE MASSIVE CHANTING OF BOOM BOOM BOOM by Kofi.

Sleeper goes on….AND HERE THEY COME? Yes, Nexus hits the ring and beats them up before circling Kofi. The big beatdown follows as I have a bad feeling about where this show is going. Barrett says this is a preview of later tonight. Expect a Kofi run-in later. Nexus is united apparently.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match for what they had, but the ending is very strange. This wasn’t bad, but with no ending like this it really hurt things. I really do expect the Cena turn now for some reason, which is why it likely won’t happen. Anyway, this needed a finish to be good but even still it’s decent.

Jericho wants Miz on the team tonight and so does Edge. Edge eating a Slim Jim is epic for no reason at all. They say he could be a huge star but doesn’t say yes.

Alicia Fox vs. Melina

Well at least this should be short. Melina has a freaking headdress on and she looks like a freaking idiot. Fox is attractive with straight hair. Shame that’s not the case here. Melina is in the skin colored tights which are always weird looking. Melina is the hometown girl so she’s all awesome and such apparently. Yep this is boring. It’s not bad, but seriously does ANYONE care about this match?

Still waiting on something to happen here. Melina might have hurt her knee on a move from the ropes. Alicia of course does nothing about it. Nice superkick by Melina. This is just boring me to death but Melina’s gyrations are helping a bit. That girl could make a KILLING as a stripper. After FAR too long, Melina wins with more or less a weird snapmare. Apparently it’s called the Mind Trip. Ok then.

After the win, cue Laycool to annoy Melina. They say this is awesome and want to take a picture with “two champions” in it so hopefully this will lead to a unification thing soon. Brawl ensues and the worst kick every by Michelle misses by at least 8 inches. Laycool’s music continues to be awesome. Michelle does a knee into the tables to put down Melina for a good while.

Rating: D. This was pretty bad. The ending came out of nowhere but thankfully it ended a bad match. I’m very glad to see that there might be a unification soon, but will anyone care even after that? It’s definitely the right move but with people like Fox chasing it then the whole thing is in trouble. Not a good match.

After a quick recap of the SES vs. Show, we go to this.

Straightedge Society vs. Big Show

How appropriate to have this after that video package. It’s Mercury, Punk and Gallows. Show dominates Mercury and Gallows in about a minute to get us to Punk, who gets face cheers. Oh and Show’s hand is fine. Gallows and Mercury get back up and the 3-1 beatdown begins.

Show comes back of course as it occurs to me that Punk has the most hair of anyone out there. Punk goes for the springboard clothesline and gets caught by the throat. He kicks Show in the head which was cool looking. Cole calls a bulldog a DDT because he’s a stupid man. Punk does a bunch of strikes to the hand and it just ticks Show off. Punk gets knocked to the floor and leaves. Mercury gets chokeslammed and pinned while on top of Gallows. Here lies the SES.

Rating: D+. Pretty weak here as more or less we knew it was just going to be Show winning in the end due to his huge size advantage. This was an ok match and the ending advances the story, but dang man why do they have to crush the SES again? For once could they actually let something go on for more than a month without crippling it?

Kane talks to the casket and Sheamus of all people comes up, saying he’d like to borrow the casket to put Orton in. Kane says no. Sheamus says stay out of his way and Kane yells at him. Odd moment but cool potential.

And here’s Miz. The Raw title match is next so he has a reason to be here. He wants to know if he should be on the team. The fans cheer but he doesn’t care what they think. Allegedly Hart and Cena begged for him to be on the team. He talks about every person on the team and how they’ve all done things to get him on the team. Awesome promo but he wants the fans to admit it. After a HUGE delay, he says yes he’ll be on the team. Cole orgasms loudly.

We recap Orton vs. Sheamus, which isn’t much at all. Orton won a match and now he’s the number one contender. The hype for this has more or less not existed.

Raw World Title: Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

Orton is in purple and Sheamus is in green, making this just freaking weird looking. Sheamus powers him back to start which is odd since he’s kind of quietly powerful. Slow start here which should be a good sign but I’m not sure here. They tease a countout and Orton is dominating which is a weird formula for a match.

This is just boring really as they’re going WAY too slow. Orton’s arm gets worked on and the elevated DDT is reversed into a backdrop. Sheamus is in control and not much is going on. He hits basic moves and covers. This is apparently the main event and it started about 5 minutes after 9. He gets technical with a drop toehold to put Orton down.

Sheamus likes to use a double axehandle which is kind of a cool move for him to use. More people should use it. When I say more I mean like one total. Sheamus at least works on the arm which is the right idea if nothing else. Orton gets the backbreaker as this is just DRAGGING. The boo/yay cheers start up for punching. Orton does his usual array of clotheslines as I fight off sleep due to this.

Middle rope suplex gets two for the guy with non-mayonnaise colored skin. Sheamus hits his backbreaker for two which of course Cole is surprised by when the kickout happens. Brogue Kick misses though and Sheamus hits the floor. There’s the DDT but the RKO is countered which surprised me. He shoved him off and it legit looks like he hit it from both angles. Clearly countered though which was cool.

High Cross and RKO are both countered but Orton walks into the Brogue Kick for two as the fans are into this now. That’s the issue with WWE Title matches: you don’t have to get into them for a long time and everyone knows it so for the first ten minutes no one cares. Sheamus gets a chair and shoves the referee out for the CHEAP DQ.

Rating: D+. Oh this was bad. The ending crippled the actually solid last 5 minutes or so as the rest of this was just flat out boring. The slow style of both guys crippled each other and the ending had me shaking my head at how freaking dumb it was. I don’t get this at all as if nothing else have Sheamus get the chair shot and win that way but man, this was freaking stupid.

Post match Orton snaps and hits the RKO on the table. Good for him. Table didn’t break so at least it looked good. Sheamus is announced as still champion which should make us wait for either HHH or Miz’s theme music. Naturally we get the Legendary trailer.

We recap the way overdone Rey vs. Kane issue, which comes down to one thing: how would Rey know who did it? This took almost five minutes.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Kane

Kane brings the casket with him. Striker even throws out a quick summary of the Taker/Kane childhood which you NEVER hear anymore. Kane goes right for him and gets kicked in the knee. They talk about the keys to victory and King says that Rey’s potential innocence should help him win. Uh, what? Striker thinks this is speed vs. power. You can’t buy commentary like this people!

Kane takes over and we slow it down again. He gets a baseball slide which is cool looking. Can you imagine Kane playing baseball? That’s just funny for some reason. 619 is blocked and Kane takes his head off with a clothesline. We’re clearly just filling in time until the finish. It’s been mostly Kane here and as soon as I say that Kane goes into the post. Rey hits a flying battering ram move but Kane takes over AGAIN with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, a cool move.

Cole likes to talk about people being in the box. Kane wants the referee to ASK HIM. He’s been chilling with Jericho I guess. Top rope rana is blocked and Rey’s knee might be hurt. Wait wasn’t his ankle hurt on Smackdown? Springboard Splash misses so Rey just kicks Kane in the head. Well that works if nothing else. After more uneventful stuff, the 619 is blocked and Rey gets thrown into the casket.

The casket is closed and you know Taker will be in it soon. Chokeslam is blocked and 619 hits. Rey gets two off a counter to a counter to the springboard splash as the end is clearly near. Chokeslam hits to retain THANK GOODNESS!

Rating: C-. Better than the last match as at least this had an ending. It was still boring but Kane winning clean is a nice perk. You know it’ll wind up being Kane vs. Taker but Kane getting a clean win like this is good for him because he flat out needs them for some credibility. Not horrible but I’ve seen worse.

Post match Kane says he’s going to put Rey in the casket and opens it, showing that it’s empty. Two chokeslams and a tombstone (sick one too) and of course Taker is in the casket. He goes for Rey and asks if he’s heard of an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth? Taker asks him why he did it but Rey insists it wasn’t him. Hand around throat and the throat slit sign but he turns to Kane. Kane breaks Taker’s grip and tombstones him, leaving him laying. These guys are on and off more than all the high school relationships in history. Yep Kane is the heel again.

Ad for Smackdown on Sci-Fi.

Clips of Summerslam Axxess which looks awesome.

Recap of Nexus vs. Cena’s Army. If you don’t know this by now, go read the Raw recaps since I’m sick of this story.

Nexus vs. R-Truth/Edge/Chris Jericho/Miz/John Cena/Bret Hart/John Morrison

Remember that this is elimination. This should go for a LONG time. New shirt for Cena. Miz comes out last and Cena has something to say. Cena has a replacement, and it’s DANIEL BRYAN. The really weird thing here is that there was an article up on WWE.com where it spoiled this half an hour before it happened. That’s rather freaky and I can’t imagine the speech he got because of it.

Nexus vs. R-Truth/Edge/Chris Jericho/Daniel Bryan/John Cena/Bret Hart/John Morrison

BIG brawl to start as Cole runs down Bryan every second because he has to. The official starters are Bryan and Young. This should be quick. Hey I’m right as Bryan gets a crossface and Young is out in like 30 seconds. That evens things out since Hart is more or less worthless. Gabriel and Jericho are in now and don’t expect every tag to be mentioned since it’s going to be very fast paced.

Tarver comes in and throws a lot of punches. Morrison gets a nice pop as the hometown boy. Flash Kick and Starship Pain put Tarver down to make it 7-5. He landed on his back this time so we’ll call that a success. Barrett wants a huddle. Sheffield comes in and boxes with Morrison kind of as Nexus takes over. The fans want Bret as it’s all Sheffield. Morrison makes a comeback but walks into a kick by Gabriel and the clothesline from Sheffield to make it 6-5.

Sheffield hits Truth in like 30 seconds to tie it up. Jericho comes in and gets beaten down. Why do they keep calling them Team WWE? Nexus is in WWE officially right? Jericho vs. Barrett is an interesting match actually. Bret and Slater come in as Cena hasn’t been in yet, which is rather interesting. Bret does basic stuff and gets the Sharpshooter but there’s a chair in. Sheffield gets the tag and Bret pops him with the chair for reasons of basic stupidity. That’s the best way to get rid of him since he can’t take a power move due to his health so there isn’t another way to do it really.

As a recap it’s Cena/Edge/Jericho/Bryan vs. Sheffield/Barrett/Slater/Otunga/Gabriel. Sheffield gets up and walks into the Codebreaker. Spear ties us up at 4. Gabriel gets a SICK spin kick on Edge. The kick itself was just ok but the impact looked great. Barrett and Edge slow us down a bit. Edge gets a spinwheel kick which is one of his old moves. I haven’t seen him use that in forever.

Otunga comes in and is booed out of the building. Edge hits the Edgecution and gets a face pop for it. Not sure whether it’s for Edge or against Otunga but whatever. Edge gets the tag but STILL no Cena. This is certainly compelling. Lionsault hits and Striker says HE HIT IT! Jericho loses the Walls for a bit but Otunga eventually taps to get us to 4-3 Team Cena. Jericho is wrestling like Lionheart here and a BIG Y2J chant starts. I still want a Jericho face title run.

And he runs into Cena, resulting in Slater hitting his Zig Zag for the tie. Cena and Edge both want in and Edge yells while Bryan plays peacemaker. Slater runs Edge into Cena and rolls him up to get Jericho and Edge in less than a minute. Edge and Jericho beat up Cena before leaving. Jericho: YOU’RE A STUPID MAN! Cena/Bryan vs. Slater/Barrett/Gabriel. Cena is finally in now and gets his head kicked in.

Very good match so far as Nexus has looked STRONG. Cena can’t get anything going and Cole will not shut up about Bryan. Gabriel gets a DDT on Cena that looked good. Everyone beats on Cena and as I say that we get a double clothesline. Bryan comes in and cleans house, using a freaking big boot. Striker wants Cattle Mutilation. Where’s PETA when you need them?

Cena is down on the floor which makes me wonder where this is going. Cena as heel vs. Bryan as face? After a lot of GOOD stuff from Bryan he gets Slater to tap. And cue Miz with the briefcase to blast Bryan and make it 2-1 with Barrett/Gabriel vs. Cena. Cena is more or less dead though despite not being beaten down past anything overly special. He goes into the ending sequence though after a missed Gabriel splash in the corner.

FU doesn’t work as Gabriel makes the tag and Nexus takes over again. It’s a massive beatdown here as Cena has NOTHING. The two guys pull the mats on the floor back and Barrett hits a DDT on the exposed concrete. Gabriel gets tagged in and the 450 MISSES! Cena rolls up Gabriel and instantly gets the STFU on Barrett for the TAP AND THE WIN!

Rating: B+. This was very good. They booked it perfectly, including the ending. As I said in the LD, Cena moved, covered, did a drop toehold, laid on Barrett’s back and pulled. THAT’S IT. That’s how he beat them both. He wasn’t doing an FU to both guys after escaping their finishers and hitting 4 shoulder blocks each. He outmoved them and it worked fine. Nexus looked solid out there and the whole thing looked fine. This was a good match and well done. It certainly wasn’t bad and is nowhere near what people are making it out to be. I loved this and it made the show for the most part.

Overall Rating: B. This was a good show, but it’s a kind that would need a footnote. This is the definition of a one match show. I don’t mean one match is great and the rest suck. I mean this was built around one single match and nothing else on the card mattered at all. Other than the 7 on 7 match, what else was hyped at all?

Luckily, that match was very good and hit on all cylinders. The rest of the card is ok, but it could have been better. The Orton/Sheamus ending was just bad. Kane overpowering Taker is interesting as it actually gives us some intrigue. This was a good show overall, powered mainly by the main event’s success. Not worth seeing much other than the main, but that’s expected with a show like this.

So there you have it: The History of Summerslam. For 23 years the show has served as the second biggest show of the year and I’d say it hasn’t disappointed very often. There have been some bad ones, but there’s also been some great ones. It’s a great pairing to go with Mania as it’s about 4 months later and things have changed a decent amount in between.

Complete with the Survivor Series and the Rumble, you could almost see this as the beginning of the WWE year. Think about it. Of the four major shows, Mania is the end of the year, so this could be the beginning as Backlash is usually the epilogue with the Mania rematches. This is the first big show of the year, so it’s a big benchmark if you look at it that way. I’ll be back with Survivor Series starting around Halloween, so until then…..um….dangI need a catchphrase.

I’ll be back tomorrow with this year’s show hopefully as soon as it ends.  Thanks for reading.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: August 17, 2012
Location: Frank Erwin Center, Austin, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

It’s the final show before Summerslam and the main topic is Del Rio wanting an explanation from Booker as to why he lost his title match against Sheamus. My guess would be because no one wants to see that match and Booker is trying to spare us from having to sit through it, but I’d be stunned if the match didn’t wind up being back on by the end of the show with no changes at all. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Del Rio talking about how he’s going to win the title at Summerslam mixed with clips of the car saga with Sheamus.

Here’s Del Rio in the arena minus his car. He wants the title back now because Sheamus needs to be punished for destroying Del Rio’s car. That’s a good point. Del Rio says he’s not leaving until he gets his title match back. That brings out Booker who wants to know why Del Rio has been a thorn in his side since he became GM. Booker talks about how what Del Rio did last week was crossing a line and that won’t be tolerated. Del Rio mentions the scariest thing in WWE: lawyers.

Thank goodness here’s Jericho of all people to interrupt by asking Del Rio to shut up. Jericho rips him apart, saying no one cares about anything Del Rio says. Del Rio yells in Spanish but Jericho comes back with Spanish of his own. Jericho says that after he beats Ziggler on Sunday, maybe he’ll take Del Rio’s spot in the main event and win the world title. Booker makes Jericho vs. Del Rio for the main event tonight. This would be a perfect example of people with charisma vs. a person with absolutely no charisma at all.

Cody Rhodes/The Miz vs. Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio

Cody says he wants to expose Sin Cara’s face and he has a picture of him unmasked. It’s a drawing which looks like an alien. Cody and Cara start us off but both heels are quickly sent to the floor. The masked men take out their respective rivals with dives before we head back inside. Cody kicks Cara in the head to take over and it’s off to Miz. After the champ does nothing at all it’s back to Cody who goes for the mask.

Miz comes back in but Cara kicks him in the leg a few times to get a breather. Back to Cody who gets taken down as well. Hot tag brings in Rey for some headscissors followed by a kick to the head of Cody for two. The sitout bulldog gets two as Miz makes the save. Cara clotheslines Miz to the floor but tries to skin the cat. Cody goes for the mask but it puts him in 619 position. That and the top rope splash from Rey get the pin at 4:22.

Rating: C+. Nothing great here but it gave us some hype for both feuds, although I don’t think Cody vs. Cara has been announced for Summerslam. Rey vs. Miz is as tacked on as it gets, but just having the title defended at Summerslam is a step up for the belt in recent months. Also it’s good to have Cody lose here instead of Rey beating the champ again. Decent match here.

Rey takes out Miz post match.

Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks vs. ???/???

Reks and Hawkins come to the ring in suits which they remove while dancing. Just what we needed: male strippers. Hawkins starts with Jobber A and it’s quickly off to Reks. Apparently Reks and Hawkins’ mission is to trend worldwide. Not to win matches or championships, but to trend on Twitter. Jobber B comes in and gets his head kicked in by Reks before a powerslam/sliding neckbreaker combo gets the pin at 1:37. I don’t see this gimmick lasting long.

Long recap of Punk’s title reign. By entire reign I mean we skip everything from Survivor Series up to Raw 1000.

Regal wishes Eve luck in her match tonight but she says she doesn’t need it. Regal reminisces about being in charge of Raw but now he’s in charge of taking out the trash.

Wade Barrett is coming back.

Kaitlyn vs. Eve Torres

The winner is Booker’s assistant. Eve takes her to the mat immediately and hooks an armbar. Kaitlyn backdrops her down and hits a shoulder block for two. A small package gets one for Kaitlyn but Eve gets up and hits a Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza for the pin and the job at 2:15. It’s a swinging suplex but I don’t think it has an official name other than that.

Eve comes in to see Booker and says she has a lot of ideas. Booker wants to know if she and Teddy can get along. Eve says yes and that’s it. I have no idea what the point in 45 seconds being spent on this was.

Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton

Feeling out process to start with Orton taking Bryan down with a shoulder block. A clothesline gets two on Daniel and he bails to the floor. He argues with a fan using only two words over and over again before walking back into another clothesline. Orton stomps away a bit but misses a knee drop. Bryan kicks the knee out (not the one that missed but whatever) and goes after it like a heel submission master would.

Orton pounds away to come back but Bryan kicks the knee out again. He shouts NO a lot and goes up, only to get crotched and superplexed. We take a break and come back with Orton pounding Bryan in the head but Bryan takes the knee out again. That may sound familiar if you’re paying attention. Bryan misses a charge into the corner and gets rolled up for two. Orton fires up his finishing sequence but the knee slows him down again.

The Elevated DDT is escaped and they head to the floor with Bryan being sent into the barricade. Back inside and Bryan bails immediately. Orton can’t stand up because of the knee so he rolls to the floor where Bryan whips him into the steps knee first. Back in and Bryan fires off the NO Kicks but Orton ducks the big one and hits his backbreaker for two.

The knee keeps him from following up so Bryan climbs the corner, only to get caught in the Elevated DDT. RKO is countered into the NO Lock, which makes little sense given the amount of leg work done so far. Here’s Kane….or at least his music for the most overdone way to end a match in the WWE today. Bryan bails to the floor before coming back in for an RKO and the pin at 10:48 shown of 14:18.

Rating: B-. I was digging this one until the ending brought it down. Orton was selling the knee very well here and it gave us a nice story for the match. One thing that I touched on in the match though which drives me crazy: why would Bryan go for the NO Lock? He’s a submission master and he knows a few dozen submissions he could use on the leg, but instead he uses a shoulder hold, simply because it’s his finisher. I can’t stand it when people who are known to use multiple submissions use one that makes no sense in the current match because it goes against Bryan’s character in a lot of ways. Good match though.

Kane pops up on the stage post match and smiles.

Santino is out for commentary.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Zach Ryder

Antonio immediately throws Ryder down with the gutwrench suplex. Ryder is in red/orange here instead of the usual purple. Santino talks about his training for the match Sunday as Ryder makes a well received comeback. Broski Boot gets two but Cesaro hot shots him and the Neutralizer gets the pin at 1:30.

Santino gets shoved post match.

Long recap of Lesnar vs. HHH. Shawn won’t be at Summerslam because of his broken arm. We get some fans’ tweets on the match.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Chris Jericho

They have a lot of time for this. After Del Rio’s entrance we cut to the back where Ziggler is destroying Jericho. After a break Del Rio wants Booker to come out here and say the title match is back on, but here’s a hobbling Jericho instead, who says ring the bell. Del Rio immediately kicks him in the ribs for two as Jericho is in trouble early. Alberto chokes in the corner and kicks Jericho out to the apron.

Del Rio loads up the armbreaker (more acceptable here because that’s his only submission hold) but Jericho escapes into an enziguri. They head to the apron again and Jericho is knocked into the announce table as we take a break. Back with Del Rio holding Jericho in a body scissors followed by a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. A middle rope double stomp misses for Del Rio and Jericho makes a quick comeback.

Chris hits the bulldog and Lionsault but can’t cover immediately because of the ribs. Del Rio tries the Codebreaker on the arm but Jericho counters into the Walls. Del Rio kicks him off into the ropes which are being pulled down by Ziggler. Dolph throws Jericho back in and a big kick to the head from Alberto gets the pin at 6:13 shown of 9:43.

Rating: C. This was fine. Jericho being injured going into the PPV wasn’t really needed as you could have just had the ending here to add more heat to Jericho vs. Ziggler but it’s not that big of a deal. Del Rio looks a bit stronger, but he doesn’t have a match on Sunday now. Oh who am I kidding. You know what’s coming.

Post match Sheamus runs out and beats up Del Rio, chasing him off into the crowd. Booker comes out and Sheamus begs him to put the match back on the card for Sunday. He doesn’t care about the arm injury and eventually Booker agrees, making the last week’s worth of developments totally pointless.

Overall Rating: C+. This show did a good job at building up a lot of the matches for Sunday, but the problem is that most of them have barely gotten any build at all leading up to tonight’s show. Look at Miz vs. Mysterio for example. There was a match a week ago and now they have a rematch on Sunday. That’s not exactly making me want to buy the show for it but it’s certainly better than an unannounced match.

As for the world title, at the end of the day Del Rio is not interesting at all and he drags it way down. Sheamus showing emotion helps him a lot, as does having him in street clothes for some reason. Anyway, good show tonight and a good build for Summerslam, but what they’re building to doesn’t look all that interesting.

Results

Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio b. Cody Rhodes/The Miz – Top rope splash to Rhodes

Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks b. ???/??? – Poweslam/Neckbreaker combination

Eve Torres b. Kaitlyn – Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza

Randy Orton b. Daniel Bryan – RKO

Antonio Cesaro b. Zach Ryder – Neutralizer

Alberto Del Rio b. Chris Jericho – Kick to the head

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews