Monday Night Raw
Date: October 21, 2002
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Oh look: a Raw from 2002. This is I think the twelfth episode I’ve done from this show, and you would think it would be something fun. Instead, it’s the KATIE VICK EPISODE! Yep, this is the show where HHH climbs in a casket and rapes a mannequin, because this is a wrestling show baby! I think that about covers it. It’s the night after No Mercy and HHH is the champion of all that is Raw as the IC Title has been knocked out for the next eight months or so. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Katie Vick story. HHH claims Kane is a murderer, but Kane says it was an accident. This is the night after HHH beat Kane to unify the IC and World Titles but the feud must continue for some reason.

Here’s HHH along with Flair to open the show. HHH talks about how he’s proven the writers wrong when they said he didn’t deserve to be handed the title. He ended the IC Title last night and there’s no one that can do anything about it. HHH calls himself unstoppable and says that he might be the greatest world champion ever. Flair has a video that explains the Katie Vick ordeal. Oh boy. Kane isn’t here yet, but apparently tonight it’s Kane/RVD vs. HHH/Flair. This brings out Hurricane, Kane’s other partner, to beat up HHH and take the tape, but HHH beats Hurricane down and takes it back.

Jeff Hardy vs. Christopher Nowitski

Chris takes him down to start and Jeff is getting frustrated, which would be a recurring theme for him for the next few weeks. Jeff sends him to the floor and hits a big flipping dive to take over. Nowitski gets in a shot back inside and gets a few two counts. Hardy comes back with a Thesz Press and actually uses it as a pinning combination. Nowitski chokes away in the corner and gets two off a rolling side cradle.

A gutbuster gets another two on Hardy and this match isn’t going anywhere. Jeff fires away but walks into a hot shot for two. A spinning double underhook slam gets two for Chris and here comes Jeff’s real comeback. He fires away with right hands and a jawbreaker but Chris moves before the Swanton launches. Chris brings in a chair but Al Snow comes in to break it up. The chair winds up hitting Chris in the head but Snow pulls Nowitski away from the Swanton. It hits the chair and Chris steals the pin.

Rating: D. This just kept going. Nowitski was a great base for a character but he never got off the ground. The guy just wasn’t that good. He wasn’t especially bad but he just wasn’t that good. This match didn’t work well for the most part and Hardy would start turning heel soon after this, which didn’t work at all.

Eric Bischoff, the GM, is watching Big Show intimidate him recently. Stacy comes in to ask to referee a match tonight. Eric says yeah whatever but not the main event. Stacy leaves and here’s Show. Eric gives Show Jamal, Rico and Rosey tonight.

Snow talks to Dreamer about costing Dreamer a match recently. They have a Singapore cane match tonight. Dreamer leaves and Nowitski comes up. Nowitski doesn’t want/need Al’s help. Ok then.

Lance Storm/William Regal vs. Bubba Ray Dudley/Spike Dudley

The winners get a title shot against whoever the champions are now. Apparently it’s Christian/Jericho. Storm runs down American before the match. Spike vs. Storm to start things off with the smaller dude taking over quickly. The fans want tables but other than that things are mostly silent. We’ve lost commentary for some reason and by the time that sentence is finished JR is back.

Off to Bubba who takes Lance down with a neckbreaker but Regal hits Bubba in the back of his recently concussed head to give Storm the advantage. Regal comes in as Kane arrives in the back. Everything breaks down and Spike ranas Storm off the top. Bubba catches the superkick from Storm and hits the Bubba Bomb. Spoke hits the Dudley Dog on Regal for the win and the title shot.

Rating: C-. This was one of those matches that was too short to go anywhere of note. Regal and Storm as the Unamericans were a solid team but the gimmick was only going to go so far, especially with Test weighing them down as their third man. Nothing to see here and thankfully D-Von would reunite with Bubba the next month.

Storm kicks Bubba in the head post match and Spike gets hit in the ribs over and over by Regal’s brass knuckles.

Trish is having her picture taken and has to talk to the photographer about her match with Victoria from last night. Jericho and Christian pop up and call Trish a w****. Apparently Jericho thinks Trish wants him. Geez is this some extreme foreshadowing? I really doubt it.

Here’s Eric with something to say. He praises last night’s HIAC match with Brock vs. Taker (it really was good) but he’s going to top it. How is he going to do that? Something called the Elimination Chamber. No word on what that is yet.

Test vs. D’Lo Brown

Stacy is referee so she can wear a revealing outfit. Test looks like an idiot with long hair and short tights. Stacy slaps Brown and rings the bell. Test launches him over with a big backdrop and pounds away in the corner. Brown gets his feet up to block a charge followed by a flying forearm. Brown drops a leg but Stacy interferes again. The Sky High hits but Stacy is tying her shoe instead of counting. The big boot from Test and a fast count give the Canadian the win. Stacy jumps in Test’s arms post match.

Victoria says that she isn’t lying about Trish sleeping her way to the top. Victoria is still insane here. Goldust pops up behind her to make fun of her in a Dustyesque voice. Booker shows up as well to do the same, minus the American Dream part.

Trish Stratus/Booker T/Goldust vs. Victoria/Chris Jericho/Christian

Trish has her full entrance and look down now. Jericho and Christian are tag champions which I think I mentioned earlier. The girls brawl to start and Trish fires off her kicks in the corner. Victoria drop toeholds her onto the bottom rope and it’s off to Christian vs. Trish as the genders don’t have to match here. Booker comes in to make this a bit more fair for Christian. A forearm puts Christian down and a side kick gets two. Victoria and her awesome rack distracts Booker and the Canadians take over.

Off to Jericho who pounds away but gets caught in the spinning sunset flip out of the corner. The fans are way into Booker which is a good sign. It means HHH has someone to beat at Wrestlemania for no other reason than HHH wants to win at Wrestlemania. Back to Christian who takes Booker down so Jericho can hit a top rope knee drop.

A spinebuster takes Jericho down and it’s off to Goldust. He cleans the lower level of the house, hitting a middle rope bulldog for two on Jericho. Trish comes in with a cross body to Jericho and Goldust kisses Victoria. Booker and Christian take each other out and Jericho takes Trish down and finishes her with the Walls of Jericho.

Rating: D+. This started off as ok but boring and evolved into a messy comedy (I think?) match. There was nothing of note going on here which is the problem with Raw at this point: it isn’t terrible but there’s no interest in it at all. The tag titles meant nothing at all at this point and wouldn’t for a very long time. Thankfully we had the Smackdow tag titles established last night and they tore the house down for a long time.

Booker saves Jericho post match.

Terri is at Kane’s door and we cut to HHH who says roll the footage. I’m sure you’ve at least heard of this before. It’s of a funeral home with a date of 1992. Kane (clearly HHH in a Kane mask and t-shirt that wouldn’t be released for another 9 years) comes up to the casket and talks to the dead “body” of Katie Vick. It’s a mannequin if that’s not coming through. Kane (it’s HHH the entire segment so don’t get confused. I know this segment can make you stupid but hang with me here) says that if Katie had let him touch her in the car, this wouldn’t have happened.

The idea is that Kane was driving and crashed, killing Katie. Katie “talks” to Kane, saying that apparently now that she’s dead she wants Kane. Kane talks about getting excited watching Katie cheerlead and he fondles her chest which is mosaiced. This is supposed to be something like a hidden video of a sex tape. Kane takes his shirt off and starts undressing the mannequin. He takes off her underwear and says he loves the smell of formaldehyde in the morning. Kane takes his jeans off and gets in the casket. Sounds are heard and we cut to shots of candles and flowers.

Usually I would give a long winded explanation of how awful this is for wrestling and how terrible it is, but I think the segment speaks for itself: it’s simulated necrophilia. I think that sums it up. When you look at the unemployment figures in this country, remember that someone came up with this idea and was paid to do so.

Al Snow vs. Tommy Dreamer

Singapore Cane match. We start with a cane duel and Snow gets in the first connecting shots to the legs. Out to the floor and Dreamer fires away more cane shots but Snow headbutts him down. Back in and Dreamer kicks Al low, followed by a missed cane shot from an interfering Nowitski to give Dreamer the pin. Nothing to see here.

Big Show vs. Rosey/Jamal/Rico

The big guys jump Show to start but he shoves all of them away with ease. The heavies are clotheslined to the floor and Show goes after Rico’s sideburns of doom. JR makes gay references about Rico and Show destroys more people. There’s a chokeslam to Jamal (Umaga) for the pin. Total squash for Show.

Post break Eric announces that Big Show has been traded to Smackdown. He would get the world title the next month over there. After Show leaves, Hurricane arrives (did he leave?) and stands in front of his own car. Ok then.

We get some clips of Shawn getting destroyed after his match with HHH at Summerslam. Shawn is in a wheelchair at The World (WWF New York) and says his rehab is going slowly. The final match he had with HHH can stand on its own merit as not only a great match but a tribute to God. HHH did indeed put him in a wheelchair like he said he would but Shawn vows vengeance and stands up. He’s coming for HHH again.

HHH/Ric Flair vs. Rob Van Dam/Kane

The good guys pound away on their respective feud partners (Van Dam beat Flair last night) in the corner and both heels get kicked in the face. Van Dam and Flair start and it’s the cartwheel moonsault to Naitch. A middle rope kick to the face puts him down again as HHH knocks Kane off the apron and it’s the barricade. Van Dan kicks the Game down but Flair breaks up the Five Star.

Van Dam gets sent into the post and seems to have hut his ankle. That gets two back inside as we’re finally into a normal tag team match. JR and King debate necrophilia, which isn’t something I expected I’d have to write. Off to Flair as JR is sounding ticked off. Flair and Van Dam slug it out but it’s off to HHH with the knee to the face. King tries to convince JR that necrophilia is funny but Captain Oklahoma isn’t convinced. HHH puts on the sleeper and Van Dam is in trouble.

The hold is broken and it’s off to Flair. Van Dam superkicks him down and Flair goes up and with JR verbally rolling his eyes, Flair gets slammed down. HHH comes in and beats on Van Dam, but Rob escapes and tags Kane. Never mind as the tag isn’t seen so it’s time to go back to the not interesting match.

Back in and Van Dam takes Flair down and makes the real tag. Kane cleans house as the announcers debate if necrophiliac and Hulkamaniac rhyme. This is what Raw has sunk to people. Van Dam goes up and gets crotched as Kane and HHH fight on the floor. They head up the ramp with HHH being rammed into the set. Van Dam kicks Flair in the face, hits Rolling Thunder and adds the Five Star for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not only was the match not that good, but it was based on necrophilia. I can’t emphasize that enough: this feud is continuing because HHH dressed up like Kane and pretended to have sex with a mannequin representing a corpse. JR sounded legitimately angry in this match and can you blame him at all?

In the back Kane destroys HHH in the back and throws him into various metal objects. Hurricane is standing next to his car with the trunk open. HHH tries a Pedigree but gets catapulted onto the hood of the car. There’s a chokeslam onto the hood and Kane throws HHH into the trunk and slams it shut. Kane sends Hurricane away and says to the trunk, and I quote, “Now I’m going to screw you. The only question is will you still be alive, or will I just wait until you’re dead.” Kane drives away with HHH in the trunk to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Ignoring the white elephant on this show, it wasn’t a good episode. There weren’t any good matches and a lot of the stuff felt like it was there to fill in two hours. The Elimination Chamber was mentioned but after the announcement it was barely mentioned again. This show was based around one of the stupidest stories of all time and it’s even worse than it seemed at the time. It’s in poor taste, it’s not funny, and it makes you embarrassed to be a wrestling fan. Terrible show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

http://wreg.com/2012/09/28/jerry-lawler/

If he manages to do that, that’s pretty awesome just five weeks after a heart attack.

Smackdown
Date: September 28, 2012
Location: First Niagara Center, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

After last week’s tag team show, it’s time to put some focus on the world title match at the upcoming PPV. By that I mean actually setting up a match there. The main event for tonight is Orton vs. Big Show which would be fine to make a #1 contenders match. Show returned from a brief absence on Monday and beat up various big men so I guess he’s a heel again. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s events.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is Garrett Bischoff. Why is he back on my TV screen now?

Here’s Big Show to open the show. Show says he wants the world title because he lost the title in 45 seconds last time. Then the guy that beat him lost the title in 18 seconds. Show didn’t get to be in the main event of Wrestlemania and he didn’t get to be champion and that’s not cool with him. He says he’s the only person that can beat Sheamus, but here’s Orton with a rebuttal.

Orton says that to deserve a shot at Sheamus, you have to go through him. That’s perfect as tonight’s match is for the #1 contendership. Show says tonight it’s either going to be an RKO or a KO. Here’s Alberto and please don’t make this a triple threat. Please. Del Rio says the two of them need to go to the back of the line, and there’s an RKO for him to end this segment. THANK GOODNESS.

US Title: Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino Marella

Cesaro pounds him down to start as Matthews talks about how Santino and the Cobra have made up. Some suplexes from the champ (Cesaro) and puts on a cravate before Santino makes his comeback. The gutwrench suplex is countered into a sunset flip but the European Uppercut puts Marella down. The second attempt at the suplex hits but Cesaro talks enough trash to let Santino hit a superkick of all things for two. Cesaro goes up but Santino makes the stop and backdrops Antonio off the top. Santino misses a top rope headbutt and the Neutralizer retains the title at 4:10.

Rating: C. This was by far the most competitive match these two have ever had but they’re almost a month after the point where people buy Sanitno has having a chance at beating Cesaro. This is what I don’t get about WWE’s obsession with endless rematches: there’s no one else they’re willing to try out with a title shot? No one at all? I have trouble believing that.

We get the My Name Is Gerald bit from Raw. Kane is so awesome at these things.

Natalya vs. Beth Phoenix

Before the match, Eve Touts how serious she takes the attack on Kaitlyn. Feeling out process to start with both girls trying to get control. I believe this is their first ever match. Beth controls on the mat with a headlock but Natalya escapes a slam to tick Phoenix off. Natalya slaps her in the face and the fight is on.

Beth, the hometown girl, hits a Russian legsweep to take over and is put in the Sharpshooter two seconds later. She does the fastest crawl I’ve ever seen to make the rope and Natalya freaks out. Nattie charges at Beth and tries a rolling cradle, only to get caught in the Glam Slam….for two. Natalya grabs a fast rollup but Beth rolls forward into one of her own for the pin at 4:15.

Rating: C+. Best Divas match I can remember in a long time here. The hometown thing worked here with the fans being really into Beth. It’s remarkable what you get when you have girls that can wrestle a match and look like they know what they’re doing rather than looking like they’re struggling to remember how to run ropes.

Post match here’s Eve to say that Beth is suspended until the investigation into who attacked Kaitlyn is concluded. Natalya yells at Beth and says not to blame her.

Booker and Teddy talk about a tag team tournament to find #1 contenders for the titles at HIAC. Beth comes in to complain and apparently Booker isn’t even watching the show. Eve pops in and says she has the authority to do that. Booker says Eve doesn’t have that authority and reverses the decision. Eve sucks up as usual and Beth leaves. Booker isn’t happy so Eve blames Teddy. Booker isn’t sure who to trust.

Breast cancer stuff.

Raw ReBound.

Zack Ryder vs. Wade Barrett

No entrance for Ryder and I think you know where this is going. Barrett immediately shoulders him down then kicks Ryder in the ribs. Pumphandle slam gets two as does a slingshot belly to back backbreaker. Off to a surfboard hold but Ryder fights up and hits a facejam and middle rope missile dropkick. Barrett avoids the Broski Boot and hits a clothesline to send Ryder to the floor. Back inside and the Souvenir ends Ryder at 3:15.

Rating: D+. This was your standard Barrett squash since he came back. The problem with that is these matches aren’t really doing anything for him. He talked about being open for business a few weeks ago and then never mentioned it again. Barrett as a mercenary would work fine given how he always talked about how he was here for the money and not titles. Just squashing jobbers with an elbow to the head isn’t getting him anywhere.

Diner skit #2.

Here’s Miz for MizTV. The guest tonight is Sheamus who interrupts Miz’s intro. Sheamus looks about 300% tougher in jeans when you can’t see those white legs of his. He takes the mic from Miz and thinks Miz is suffering from memory loss after the beatdown from Ryback. Sheamus keeps asking Miz questions but won’t let him answer. He runs down Miz and in a way the IC Title by saying the best Miz can do is host a C list talk show. Miz talks about how he’s in a movie and a book now and you’ll have to pay to see it. You can pay to hear him on Sirius Radio and you can pay to see him compete in the ring.

Miz talks about how Sheamus is going to get taken out by an RKO or a WMD at HIAC. I feel like I’m on Sesame Street. Sheamus says no one takes this championship more seriously than he does and while he likes to have fun and joke around, the title means more to him than anything. Since Sheamus is cutting a good promo, here’s Vickie to interrupt him.

She introduces Ziggler and says that he’s the real guy Sheamus needs to worry about at the PPV. Ziggler says the main event tonight as well as Sheamus’ title reign is irrelevant because Ziggler is the next champion. Sheamus says Ziggler may get lucky with a cash-in…and that’s all he says. Then he jumps Ziggler and Miz and launches them both to the floor.

This segment was going well until Ziggler came out and said the exact same thing he’s been saying for four months. It’s really hard to buy Ziggler as a real threat when Sheamus has beaten him so many times. Once he wins the title, it’s going to take awhile to take him serious as a champion, but that’s clearly his fault and not the company’s for having him lose over and over again right?

We get the brackets for the tag team tournament:

Usos

Rhodes Scholars

Marella/Ryder

Gabriel/Kidd

Kingston/R-Truth

Prime Time Players

Epico/Primo

Mysterio/Sin Cara

We get the full Lawler interview from Raw. That’s still awesome. One question though: is it still a Raw exclusive if it’s shown in full on Smackdown as well?

Tag Team Tournament First Round: Usos vs. Rhodes Scholars

Sandow and Jimmy start us off. Sandow would be the Scholar and if I have to explain who Rhodes is, you’re beyond my help. Damien controls to start but walks into a Samoan Drop and both guys tag out. Jey hits the running Umaga attack in the corner for two on Cody as things break down a bit. A superkick puts Cody down but Jimmy’s splash hits knees. Cross Rhodes hits and we’re done at 1:54.

Diner sequence #3.

Video on some global summit that WWE was involved in.

Ryback vs. Tensai

Another good reaction for Ryback. They fight over a lockup to start and Ryback sends him into the corner. Tensai gets in some headbutts and a splash in the corner but Ryback suplexes Tensai down. The clothesline is countered into a Baldo Bomb for a pair of two counts. Now the clothesline hits and Shell Shock keeps Ryback undefeated at 2:06. The finisher was impressive but I’m not sure this proves that Ryback is for real like Cole says. I mean, it’s just Tensai.

Del Rio attacks Orton in the back on the way to the ring. He slams a case into Orton’s knee as well.

Big Show vs. Randy Orton

There’s no Orton due to the attack in the back so here’s Del Rio instead. Del Rio talks for a bit before Orton jumps him and limps to the ring to have the match anyway. After a break we’re ready to go and Orton is very tentative to mix it up for multiple reasons now. Show gets him into the corner but Orton comes out with right hands. Show gets a knee in though and Orton is down quickly.

A second attempt at the chops in the corner is blocked and Show takes him down with a single shot to the ribs. He stands on Randy’s ribs and puts on a stomach claw, which is one of those usually lazy moves that works a bit better for Show. The Final Cut (Eye of the Hurricane) gets two but Orton barely has anything left. They head outside and Orton gets dropped onto the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Orton trying to make a comeback and countering the chokeslam into a DDT for a very delayed two. Orton can’t follow up at all here because of the ribs. His knee seems to be fine after having a BIG FREAKING CASE slammed into it but you can win them all I guess. Show pounds on the ribs some more and beats on Randy in the corner. We head to the floor and Show gets rammed into the post to give Orton a breather.

As Show is getting back in, Orton tries for the Elevated DDT but he can’t find a way around the powers of fat. Instead he hits an RKO out of nowhere but it only gets two. Orton loads up the Punt as a last resort but charges into a chokeslam….for two. A second chokeslam kills Orton dead for the pin at 9:32 shown of 13:02.

Rating: C+. I liked this match for a few reasons. First and foremost, Big Show is not Alberto Del Rio and he’s getting the next title shot. Second, this match was more realistic than most you’ll see anymore. Orton hit one big move the entire match and other than that it was pretty much a squash. Having Orton be competitive in this match after being attacked would have been absurd, so having Show dominate here made perfect sense. Also, since it deserves a second mention, Del Rio isn’t getting another shot!

Show lays Orton out with the WMD post match and says he’ll see Sheamus at the PPV.

Overall Rating: C+. This was another pretty good episode. Not having Kane and Bryan on the show was likely a good idea after last week. You don’t want to run the risk of running the pairing into the ground and giving them a week off is probably the right idea. Ryback got another win over someone who at least looking intimidating and we have a bunch of tag matches coming up. This show built for the future and it did it in a good way. Good stuff tonight.

Results

Antonio Cesaro b. Santino Marella – Neutralizer

Beth Phoenix b. Natalya – Rollup

Wade Barrett b. Zack Ryder – Souvenir

Cody Rhodes/Damien Sandow b. Usos – Cross Rhodes to Jimmy Uso

Rybac b. Tensai – Shell Shock

Big Show b. Randy Orton – Chokeslam

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

http://www.wwe.com/inside/kelly-kelly-released-26055812

I can’t say I’m surprised at all.  She’s been on Raw what, once in six or seven months?  This doesn’t mean much and I’m sure there will be another good looking blonde replacing her soon.

NXT
Date: September 26, 2012
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton, William Regal

Back to Florida for another NXT today. The main story now is Ohno vs. Steamboat which has been building up for a few weeks now. Other than that we have the Usos vs. Ascension in the main tag feud which may wind up being for a spot on the main rosters, which the Usos already have. Hopefully NXT can get its spark back tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Ohno attacking Richie Steamboat a few weeks back as well as the events of last week with the sparring session where Ohno destroyed a jobber until Steamboat made the save.

Michael McGillicutty vs. Bo Dallas

Regal tells a cool story about Dallas’ grandfather (Blackjack Mulligan) and McGillicutty’s grandfather (Larry Hennig) fighting each other decades ago. Dallas starts by tossing Michael into the air for a crash landing to take over. Some clotheslines in the corner have McGillicutty in even more trouble and an elbow knocks him to the floor. Dallas pounds away even more on the outside and they barely beat the count back in.

The referee tries to pull Dallas off of McGillicutty allowing the man that should be called Joe Hennig to get in a right hand and send Dallas’ shoulder into the post as we take a break. Back with McGillicutty pounding away on Dallas’ head and putting on a hammerlock. The fans chant YOU TAPPED OUT at one of the guys. I can’t tell which because I don’t remember either of these guys tapping out recently. Did Dallas tap out to Mahal in the tournament? That’s a long time ago to reference something if he did.

Dallas comes back in off the apron with a sunset flip for two but McGillicutty takes out the arm again to take over. Dallas comes back with some clotheslines and a bulldog with the bar arm for no cover. He loads up something but McGillicutty drops to the mat to keep Dallas from trying it. Dallas walks into a forearm and the McGillicutter gets the pin at 8:12 shown of 11:42.

Rating: C+. The more I see of McGillicutty the more I like him and the more I can’t stand his name. I ask this a lot but are they really this afraid of him going to TNA and taking the company by storm as Joe Hennig? The guy gets better and better every week but his name makes him sound like a clown. Dallas is a guy who has energy but he doesn’t seem to have a lot of potential in him if that makes sense.

Video on Paige.

Raw ReBound.

Jake Carter vs. Leo Kruger

Kruger crouches in the corner before charging straight at Carter and stomping away in the corner. He sends Carter to the floor and stalks him before stomping even more back inside. I’m digging Kruger as the psycho big game hunter. He puts on a very modified STF and pulls on Carter’s hair and ears. A middle rope shoulder gets two for Leo and Carter comes back with some basic offense. He pounds away in the corner but misses a splash, letting Kruger hit his twisting cutter, apparently called Kruger’s End, for the pin at 3:56.

Rating: C-. Not as entertaining here as it was much more of a squash than anything else. Kruger’s new gimmick where he used to be a big game hunter in Africa and is now insane is much better than being all proud and rich or whatever he was when NXT got started. Kruger looked good here but that’s about it.

Ryback vs. Francis Rene Dorian/Aiden English

Ryback’s singlet is torn partially in the opening of the match. Other than that it’s the usual destruction with the high powered offense from Ryback. English gets powerbombed, Dorian gets killed with the clothesline, and it’s a double Shell Shock for the pin at 2:27.

Kassius Ohno vs. Richie Steamboat

JR jumps in on commentary as he does with most main events on this show. Feeling out process to start until Steamboat hits a cross body and some shoulders for two each. A backdrop puts Kassius down and it’s off to a chinlock from Richie. Ohno fights up and sends Richie out to the apron and then into the buckle, knocking him to the floor.

We take a break and come back with Ohno holding a cravate across the ropes which gets two. They chop it out in the corner and it goes to a standoff. Ohno charges at Steamboat but Richie takes over with some forearms to the head. Ohno rolls through a middle rope cross body for two and hits a top rope dropkick for two. A big boot puts Richie down for two but he snaps off a superkick for two of his own. Steamboat misses a moonsault and Ohno pounds away in the corner but misses the knockout elbow, allowing Richie to small package him (fitting given his father) for the pin at 8:42 shown of 12:12.

Rating: C+. Another solid match here as this was about finding a way to beat the other guy, which is a good dynamic. The idea of the wrestler vs. the striker worked well here as you had Ohno looking for ways to hurt Steamboat, only to get caught and rolled up for a pin, which is a fine story for a match like this.

Ohno lays out Steamboat with the forearm post match and hooks that arm trap reverse cravate hold of his until referees pull him off to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was more like the NXT that got me fired up to watch the show every week. The idea of bringing in a name like Ryback every week is fine and it makes the fans feel like they’re getting a special treat. On top of that we got a good showing from some future stars tonight and the first real match between Ohno and Steamboat. This was a fun show overall and one of the better ones they’ve had in weeks. Also, keeping Rollins off TV for a few weeks at a time is a good idea as it makes his appearances feel special as well as allowing other names to be built up as potential challengers for the title.

Results

Michael McGillicutty b. Bo Dallas – McGillicutter

Leo Kruger b. Jake Carter – Kruger’s End

Ryback b. Francis Rene Dorian/Aiden English – Shell Shock

Richie Steamboat b. Kassius Ohno – Small Package

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: October 17, 2006
Location: Jacksonville Memorial Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re thankfully back to a normal wrestling show this week without the stupid 13 year old fan service. The main event tonight is Big Show vs. Rob Van Dam in a match that could set up a future title shot down the line. Looking at the card, we have five matches packed into an hour long show. That’s not bad at all and hopefully will make up for last week. Let’s get to it.

Matt Striker vs. Sandman

Singapore cane on a pole match. Sandman is already busted open from his entrance. They stare at each other to start before Striker sprints to the corner, because Sandman could never possibly catch him. In a bit smarter move, Striker goes after Sandy’s leg to keep him from being able to climb. Striker misses a middle rope elbow to the knee but Sandman can’t get to the cane. Matt backdrops Sandman off the top and actually gets the cane first. A few shots to Sandman don’t do much as Striker swings and misses, allowing Sandman to get the cane. After a few shots, Striker bails and loses by countout.

Rating: D+. The blood (from both guys) was helpful but this wasn’t even four minutes long. What are you expecting out of a gimmick match that doesn’t even go that long? This was a feud that worked as you kept waiting to see Sandman get to maul the weasel, but it would have been better if Striker was built up some more.

CM Punk vs. Rene Dupree

This is a rematch from last week. Rene slaps him to start, ticking off Punk enough that he charges into a quick hot shot. Rene gets in some more offense but Punk leg lariats him, hits his quick strikes, the Rock Bottom and the Anaconda Vice for the fast tap. This was nothing.

Mike Knox hits the ring post match but Punk is ready for him. Knox bails immediately when Punk calls him into the ring.

Rob talks about working his way back to the top and earning a shot at Big Show tonight. Van Dam says he’s the best at ECW (his words) and he can slay the dragon. He’ll get a shot eventually and he’ll be ready.

Here’s Test with something to say. Joey continues in vain to try to convince us that Test is a completely different guy now that he’s in ECW, as in he’s more intense or something. That’s the problem with most of the guys that came over to ECW: they’re the same guys we’ve seen for so many years and there really isn’t anything different. Test shows us a clip of Holly’s back getting sliced open a few weeks back and another of Test saving Heyman from Holly. Test makes fun of Holly for being out, which brings out Balls Mahoney to challenge him.

Test vs. Balls Mahoney

Balls jumps him to start and gets beaten down for his efforts. Mahoney’s shoulder is sent into the post and it’s off to an armbar because Test is such a known technical wrestler. Balls fights up and hits his signature punches and the Nutcracker Suite for two. Not that it matters though as the big boot takes Balls’ head off and the TKO gets the quick pin. This was just a step above a squash.

Sabu vs. Shannon Moore

For the first time during the intros, December to Dismsmber is mentioned. Oh sweet goodness we’re reaching that time already? Sabu takes him down very quickly and hits a leg lariat, sending Moore to the outside. A big flip dive takes Shannon out again and they head back inside. After some required generic offense from Moore, he misses a Whisper in the Wind style move and a slingshot legdrop gets the pin for Sabu. Another squash here.

Big Show talks about the Champion of Champions match at Cyber Sunday and doesn’t seem concerned about the match tonight.

Big Show vs. Rob Van Dam

Non-title here. They stare each other down for a bit and RVD points at himself. Rob pounds away to start and goes for the legs but gets kicked in the face for his troubles. Show gets guillotined on the top rope and a top rope gets gets two for RVD. Show knocks him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Show in control and dropping some elbows. There’s a chop in the corner and Rob tries some shots to come back, only to get run over again. Rob comes back with more right hands and another top rope kick, followed by Rolling Thunder for two.

Show comes back with a spear but it only gets two. The fans are getting way into this which is kind of surprising given how the match has been going so far. A Vader Bomb Elbow misses but a clothesline puts RVD right back into the corner. The referee gets bumped and Van Dam counters the chokeslam into a DDT. He loads up the Five Star but Test shoves him off the top and stomps away. Test grabs a chair and pokes Van Dam in the ribs with it but Hardcore Holly runs out and hits Test with the chair. Holly cracks Show with the chair twice and the Five Star gives Rob the upset win.

Rating: C+. I wasn’t liking this one at first but once they got rolling with Van Dam staying in there no matter what and trying to find a way to slay the giant I got into it. Someone had to give Show a challenge eventually and there’s no one more popular or credible than Van Dam in ECW. Better match than I was expecting.

Overall Rating: C+. What a difference it is when you get some wrestling instead of some stupid gimmick for the show which was mentioned all of once this entire show. RVD is the best choice for a challenger to Big Show as I don’t think he ever got a full rematch unless it was right after he lost the title. Much better show this week as we’re starting to get to December to Dismember.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: October 10, 2006
Location: Kansas Coliseum, Topeka, Kansas
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re past No Mercy and ECW had no involvement with it at all. We’re heading up to Cyber Sunday now where the ECW Champion would have a match but he wouldn’t defend his title. Tonight the main event is a six man tag with the major names on the show fighting the other major names. Things won’t really change around here for about two more months so we’re going to be in the same place for awhile. Oh and there’s Extreme Strip Poker tonight. Let’s get to it.

Balls Mahoney is the dealer for the poker game. We have Trinity, Kelly, Maria, Candice, Ashley and Krystal. Oh and it’s lowest card loses, not even poker. Ashley loses the first one and takes her shirt off. This is going to be a LONG show.

Theme song.

The announced main event is a six man tag, meaning I was looking at the wrong card earlier.

CM Punk vs. Rene Dupree

Punk dropkicks Dupree in the thigh to start and we cut to Kelly taking her shoes off. Dupress gets kicked in the face and pounded into the corner followed by a nearly botched backdrop. Punk heads to the apron and gets elbowed in the face as we head to the chinlock from Rene. Trinity loses her top. The guys in the ring slug it out and Punk blocks an O’Connor roll. Punk takes over and hits the knee/bulldog combo for two. There’s a powerslam for Punk and he floats over into the Anaconda Vice for the submission.

Rating: C-. This was a squash and one with a bunch of annoying distractions. They’re a waste of time as while the girls do look good, you’re never going to see anything, so it’s a constant set of teases without any actual payoff. Also at least do the segments between the matches instead of cutting back to showing a girl taking off her freaking shoes. Hopefully Dupree leaves soon as the guy is just a waste of space.

Candice and Maria tie so they both take something off. Maria takes off her garters and Candice takes off her skirt.

After a break, it’s Dealer’s Choice, meaning Balls gets to pick the article the loser has to take off. Krystal has to take her skirt off. Ok the thong is a nice touch.

Kevin Thorn vs. Tommy Dreamer

Dreamer pounds him into the corner to start but a charge sends his shoulder into the post. Ashley takes her shoes off and Thorn cranks on Dreamer’s arm. Candice loses her corset and dances a bit. Thorn misses a headbutt and Dreamer fires off right hands. A suplex puts Thorn down as does a Sky High powerbomb. Dreamer has to go after Ariel on the floor and Thorn gets in a shot to the back. Tommy tries an elbow drop but crashes, letting Thorn hit a sitout Rock Bottom for two. Dreamer hits a reverse guillotine across the top rope and the DDT pins Thorn for the first time in ECW.

Rating: D+. Why would you have Dreamer win here? Thorn was one of the hot young heels they had on this show and they have him lose to the ultimate ECW jobber? Other than that there wasn’t anything here as it didn’t even last four minutes, so it’s not like they could get anywhere with it. Also, it’s Tommy Dreamer vs. Kevin Thorn. What are you expecting from it?

Krystal loses her shoes and Balls has an erection.

We recap Hardcore Holly getting his back sliced open and then getting taken out by Test before Holly could kill Heyman.

The girls talk about how hot Cena is. This transitions into a promo for the Marine. Maria loves ponies. END THIS FREAKING NONSENSE ALREADY!!! Now they like Batista and Punk. They deal another round and Kelly dances before taking her skirt off. She takes her top off because she wants to. The bra comes off and we take a break with her back to the camera.

SEE THE MARINE!

Rob Van Dam/Sabu/Sandman vs. Test/Matt Striker/Big Show

During the entrances, Ashley loses her skirt and Krystal loses her top. Van Dam and Test get us going with Test pounding Van Dam down into the corner. Rob comes out of the corner with a spinning crossbody for two and it’s a standoff. The step over kick takes Test down and there’s Rolling Thunder at the same time Sabu hits a slingshot legdrop. Sabu adds a springboard leg lariat and it’s off to Sandy.

Striker does the coward heel thing of getting in his shots while Sandman is in trouble. Maria takes her skirt off. Sandman wants Big Show with the big man chopping away as Trinity takes her skirt off. Sabu comes in to fire away on Show but Test pops him in the back to take over. This match is going nowhere. Sabu pounds on Test and we take a break.

Back with Test hitting some backbreakers on Sabu for two. Striker comes in and pokes Sabu in the eyes before hitting a neckbreaker for two. Off to a chinlock to make sure this match doesn’t get interesting at all. Back to Big Show with a chokebomb as Sabu is reeling. Show does the RVD finger point and runs over Sabu again. Maria loses her corset. This would be more appealing if she hadn’t been in Playboy.

Sabu counters a chokeslam into a DDT for two and it’s off to Test. Off to a bearhug followed by Striker coming in and getting punched in the face. There’s a hot tag to Van Dam and the fans really aren’t that interested at this point. Van Dam’s top rope kick takes Striker down and a superkick does the same to Test. Air Sabu hits test in the corner and everything breaks down. The Five Star hits Striker but Sandman gets to come in and beat up Striker for the pin.

Rating: D. This match was terribly boring. It was almost like the match was here to fill in time before we got to the rest of the card stuff. The feuds being combined was a fine idea, but other than that there’s nothing to see here. Sandman pinning Striker doesn’t mean anything and Van Dam and Big Show had all of four seconds of action. Nothing to see here.

Candice claims the game is rigged and gets in an argument with Maria. Tops come off, everything is blurred, you can see the straps of the skin colored underwear, a big catfight ends the show.

Overall Rating: F+. I hated this show. I get it: this was to tease 13 year olds, but that doesn’t make it any less dull. This was from 2006, a year where the internet and access to naked women was certainly in full swing. Yeah the girls look good here, but when they keep cutting into the matches for the “poker”, it gets really old really fast. Nothing to see here and I can’t stand shows like this one.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

This is one of the things that fans always say needs to happen. I mean you hear it CONSTANTLY, and now it seems like this is actually happening. What I don’t really understand is why this is something that so many people want. When you think back, there haven’t been very many times when there was a strong tag team division. There’s a strong case to be made that it’s only happened once in WWF history. Today we’re going to take a look at the tag team division and why people want it back so much. Let’s get to it.

There’s no argument to be made that the pinnacle of tag team wrestling in the WWF is the late 80s. In that time you had teams like the Hart Foundation, Demolition, the British Bulldogs, the Dream Team, the Killer Bees, the Powers of Pain, Strike Force, the Brainbusters, and I could probably come up with at least half a dozen more. There were TONS of teams that could win the titles at any given moment.

Then around 1991, things changed and they changed in a hurry. There were four men that caused these changes and basically killed tag team wrestling in the company forever. We’ll start with the obvious two: Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels. After Wrestlemania 7, the Hart Foundation (as well as Demolition) split up. Neidhart (we’ll get back to him later in a tangent) would go on to do nothing of note while Bret would get a push that would last for the next six years.

In the fall of that year, another team was starting to have some issues. This team was known as the Rockers and was comprised of Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty. They were hitting their peak as a team, showing continuity the likes of which were rarely seen in the WWF, before Shawn started having a big head. It seemed that the team was on the verge of splitting when they met face to face on the set of the talk show The Barber Shop in December of 1991.

On that show, in probably the most famous tag team split ever, Shawn Michaels superkicked Marty and rammed him face first through a window, completely splitting the team and establishing himself as the a fast rising heel. Shawn would also go on to greatness, feuding with Bret on and off for five years while putting together one of the greatest in ring careers of all time.

This is where the whole division started to fall apart. Instead of building teams for the sake of having teams, it was about putting two guys together to recreate the kind of breakup that Shawn and Marty had, or splitting them off like the Harts and finding the new Bret Hart. What the company didn’t get was that it wasn’t the split that made the new guys big stars, but rather the fact that Bret and Shawn are two of the most talented wrestlers of all time.

Look to modern tag team wrestling for proof of this. Well by modern I mean about three years ago but you get the idea. When Miz and Morrison split up, the crux of their feud was over which one of them would be the Jannetty. Just the idea of which would be a success (and dang were most people, myself included, wrong on which one would be the star of the team) was enough to warrant a feud.

This brings me back to Neidhart and that tangent I mentioned earlier: why is the weak member of a team called the Jannetty? I’ve touched on this before, but Jim Neidhart is WAY more of a dud than Marty Jannetty was after his team split. Once the Rockers split, Marty won a tag team title of his own with the 1-2-3 Kid and he won it seven months before Shawn did. Jannetty also won an Intercontinental Title, beating Shawn in a match that won Match of the Year from PWI.

Now by comparison, what in the world did Jim Neidhart ever do without Bret as his partner? He never won a title, he never had a memorable match, he never had any notable success AT ALL in the WWF without Bret. None. He was Owen’s lackey in 1994 and was part of the Hart Foundation in 1997, but other than that, Neidhart did NOTHING. If you want to talk about a team with two guys having completely opposite careers after the split, it’s Bret and Neidhart, not Michaels and Jannetty.

Back to the subject of what killed the tag division, there are two other men that had a big role in this: Hawk and Animal, the Legion of Doom. Now before I get into this, I want to make it clear that I was a HUGE LOD fan. I had an LOD hat, I had an LOD shirt, I ate Legion of Doom cereal, and yes that really existed. However, there came a point where there was no one that was going to be able to beat the LOD and everyone knew it.

Think about it: what tag team could give a legitimate challenge to the Legion of Doom? This was a team that had gone toe to toe with the Horsemen in the NWA and now were here, beating up everyone in sight, including the formerly dominant team of Demolition (how those two never had a big PPV match is one of the great wrestling mysteries of our time). As cool as the LOD was, there are only so many places you can go with them as champions.

At the same time the LOD was on top, the competition REALLY dried up as well. You only had a handful of other teams, with names like the Beverly Brothers, the Natural Disasters, and the team that took the titles from the LOD (in a match that was specifically never filmed), Money Inc. That’s kind of a far cry from Demolition, the British Bulldogs and the Brainbusters.

After that, the tag division went into a total funk in the 90s, with teams like the Smoking Guns and Owen/Yokozuna and a bunch of other pairings that most people don’t remember dominating things. Then we reached the more modern version of tag team wrestling in late 1997 when on Shotgun Saturday Night (a show that deserves to be looked up by you Attitude Era fans), two guys said they were tired of fighting each other and decided to team up.

These two were former multiple time tag team champion Billy Gunn and the Road Dogg Jesse James, who formed the team known as the New Age Outlaws. The Outlaws would dominate tag team wrestling for the next two years, winning five tag titles, a record at the time. To give you an idea of how dominant the Outlaws were by comparison, other than them, no team from May of 1997 to June of 2003 held the titles for longer than three months. La Resistance, the team that broke that streak, won them after the brand split when there were two sets of titles.

The Outlaws lost their final title in February of 2000 to a new team called the Dudley Boyz, kicking off what is incorrectly considered a renaissance of the tag team division. Over the fourteen months, the Hardy Boys, Edge and Christian, and the Dudleys won a combined thirteen tag titles, with the final change between the teams coming at Wrestlemania X7. Between February of 2000 and April of 2001 (X7), three teams (Right to Censor, Too Cool and Rock/Undertaker) combined to hold the titles for 62 days. Other than that, it was all Dudleys/Hardys/Edge and Christian.

So what does this tell us about this period? It tells us that this was not a renaissance or a rebirth of the division. It was a three way feud that was incredibly popular for how action packed the matches were. This was a fresh idea because the Outlaws followed the Nash/Hall formula of being tag team champions: they rarely defended the titles.

Now the Outlaws defended them a lot more often, but how many times do you distinctly remember them defending the belts? How many of those defenses do you remember lasting five minutes? In the Attitude Era, you very rarely got a long match, so seeing Edge/Christian, the Hardys and the Dudleys going out and having fifteen minute matches that were pretty awesome was a new thing for the division and it made the titles look greater than they were.

As always with a great feud, at some point it becomes stale, which is what happened once Edge and Christian broke up. You can only run the Hardys vs. the Dudleys so many times before no one cares anymore, and by the end of 2001, not many people did. After that, the tag titles fell through the floor with no one caring about them on Raw or their counterparts on Smackdown (other than the end of 2002 and early 2003 on the blue show) for the better part of the decade.

This brings us to now, with a bunch of new teams being brought together to feud for the one set of titles. As of this writing (September 26, 2012), there are currently at least eight teams that are established and could be champions. Bryan and Kane are hilarious as champions, but the question becomes what happens once their hot streak ends, will anyone care about the titles anymore? History would say no, but if the teams are given a chance to get out there and show off a bit, maybe it could last for awhile. It’s too early to say but it’s the best chance in awhile.

In short, the division has only really worked once and that was back in the 80s when there was a ton of talent to be put throughout the division. Since then, there never has been an extended period of time where tag team wrestling in the company has worked. In the early 2000s, there were three teams who dominated everything and that is not a division no matter how you look at it. Today, there seems to be a chance of a division coming together a little bit, but it still certainly isn’t for sure. It hasn’t worked in over 20 years, so odds are it won’t work now.

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 8, 2002
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

You know, I constantly say how much I hate 2002 Raw, and yet this is the 11^th episode of it that I’ll have reviewed already. I plan on doing them all starting soon, and I’ll already be a fifth done with them. Interestingly enough, only one show has been after July. Anyway, we’re between KOTR and Vengeance here, which means Undertaker is world champion. The only thing I recognize on the card is a match that is in the running for worst TV match ever, so that’s likely why this was requested. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the 4^th of July show with Angle making Undertaker tap out at the same time Undertaker pinned him.

Vince pops up to start and says Undertaker has the night off. Taker will however be on Smackdown to welcome Rock back. The main event for Vengeance is Rock vs. Taker vs. Angle for the title.

Theme song.

Here’s Booker to open the show. This is just after he was literally kicked out of the NWO. He rants about X-Pac, compares him to Chuck E. Cheese, and wants him tonight. Booker knows he might get beaten down but you have to do that to get some respect. Instead he gets Eddie Guerrero. Eddie says this isn’t about Booker, because the Dudleys stole a win from him. Last week Eddie promised Benoit that he would take out his anger on the first guy he saw, and with that the fight is on.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Booker T

Booker pounds on him to start and a knee to the ribs looks to set up the ax kick, only for Eddie to get in a shot to the knee and take over. A rollup with feet on the ropes gets two for Eddie and this is going slow already. Eddie suplexes him down and hits a neckbreaker for two. Booker comes out of nowhere with his corner sunset flip for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was about three minutes of punching and kicking followed by a nearly botched sunset flip out of the corner. For two world champion level guys, you kind of expect a bit more. That being said, this was pretty much normal for Raw around this time, as nothing was really clicking at all.

Post match Eddie tries to jump Booker again but gets kicked in the face. Benoit runs in and it’s a double beatdown on Booker. Goldust comes out for the save but gets beaten down as well. Here are Bubba and Spike with chairs to take out Benoit and Eddie for the real save.

A familiar name is coming to WWE. His name: Rey Mysterio.

Goldust asks for Booker’s hand. Dancing ensues but Booker says this is serious. Goldust talks about going down and skips off. Booker superkicks a vendor that looks like X-Pac. Did I mention Booker is more or less the top face on Raw at this point?

Trish and Jackie Gayda are in the back and we get clips of Jackie vs. Molly from last week. Molly won so Trish came out and ripped Molly’s pants off. Jackie accuses Trish of being jealous and oh my goodness she makes Stephanie look like a classic actress. Christopher Nowitski pops up and insults Trish because of her cowboy hat. Trish suggests a mixed tag with those two against herself and some partner. Nowitski makes cowboy jokes and Trish says her partner will be Bradshaw.

We get a famous Rock moment of him driving Lillian crazy.

Chris Benoit vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Spike and Bubba are in the back when Goldust, dressed as Benjamin Franklin, claims to have traveled through time after having seen what the Dudleys did earlier to save Goldust and Booker. Franklindust proposes that the Dudleys team up with Booker and Goldust to fight the NWO. Goldie says he wanted to punch Thomas Jefferson a time or two but they’re all in this together. Did I mention this is the top feud on Raw at the moment? We cut back to Benoit and Guerrero (his second) standing in the ring and Benoit’s face makes it look like he wishes he was still healing from a broken neck.

Benoit jumps Benoit to start and takes him down with a forearm to the face. Benoit keeps pounding on him so Bubba chops back in the corner. There’s a belly to back suplex to Benoit but an Eddie distraction keeps the backsplash from being launched. It’s not like it would have hit anyway. The Canadian hits a German on the American and they chop it out a bit before the American hits a German on the Canadian. A big sidewalk slam puts Benoit down and Eddie jumps Spike. There’s the Bubba Bomb to Benoit but Eddie throws Spike at the referee. Benoit uses the distraction to grab the Crossface for the submission.

Rating: C. It was better than the previous match because of the intensity in it, but was this really the best thing they could use Benoit for after he came back from injury? The match was barely long enough to rate and it was nothing interesting at all. Bubba Ray Dudley is roughly the third biggest face on the show right now, which should give you a good idea of how things were.

Post match the former Radicalz beat the Dudleys down until Booker and Goldust make the save.

Christopher Nowitski (notice the repetition of names tonight?) takes us on a tour of Harvard’s athletics department.

We get some clips from last week’s ladder match with Hardy vs. Undertaker.

Flair is praising Jeff in the back for trying last week when Steven Richards come up. We get Flair vs. Richards tonight, because in 2002 we use guys like Flair and Benoit to put over guys like Steven Richards and Bubba Ray Dudley, and by put over I mean beat them in three and a half minute matches that no one will remember by the end of the show because there was nothing to them.

Trish Stratus/Bradshaw vs. Christopher Nowitski/Jackie Gayda

JR warns us that Nowitski and Gayda are very green still, so you know this isn’t going to be pretty. The men start and they get down in three point stances but Chris runs. Gayda gets the tag which brings in Trish because the genders have to match. Trish hits some Japanese armdrags and a dropkick for two before charging at the ropes, not hitting Jackie, and bouncing back into the ring. Jackie literally falls onto Trish and the Philly fans let them have it.

She chokes Trish on the ropes….by pulling Trish’s throat away from the rope. Off to the guys again with Bradshaw kicking Chris in the face and hitting the fallaway slam for no cover. Jackie jumps on Bradshaw’s back….and the guys run into the crowd, leaving these two girls in the ring. Alone. IN PHILADELPHIA. WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA???

Back in the ring, Trish chops away with Jackie looking like she’s dancing instead of selling. Jackie chokes away in the opposite corner and puts Trish on the top. WHO TOLD HER SHE KNEW HOW TO DO A SUPERPLEX??? Thank goodness Trish knocks her away and tries a bulldog. Stratus jumps, her forearm hits Jackie in the back of the head…..and Jackie doesn’t move. Trish hits the mat and THEN Jackie falls down on her side. Trish rolls her up and the referee counts three even though Jackie kicks out at two. JR: “And mercifully it’s over.”

Rating: P. For Philadelphia. The WWE agents thought it was ok to leave Trish Stratus, who wasn’t good yet, and JACKIE GAYDA, in her THIRD MATCH, alone in the ring in Philadelphia. This may in fact be the dumbest decision in the history of the company, and that’s covering A LOT of ground.

Eddie and Benoit yell about the four guys they’ve dealt with tonight. X-Pac and Big Show come up and say chill. Shawn follows the NWO and says that we’re getting a speech in a second from Nash.

Rock moment shows him making fun of whoever he happens to be feuding with at the time.

Here’s the NWO because what would this show be without them? Shawn says you’re either with the NWO or you’re against them. We get a clip from King of the Ring where HHH seemed interested about joining them and apparently HHH has officially been offered a spot. Shawn talks about the Kliq and most people don’t seem interested. Fan: “GET TO THE POINT!” HHH hasn’t responded to their offer yet so Shawn thinks HHH is going soft because of the fans. HHH has until Vengeance to join or else.

Nash says that tonight, the NWO is going to take out Booker tonight and that’s a message to the Game. It’s his first match back from the injured list. Remember that as it’ll be important later. Tonight it’s a ten man tag with the three NWO guys, Benoit and Eddie vs. the Dudleys/Booker/Goldust/whoever else they can get. This took nearly ten minutes somehow.

Ric Flair vs. Steven Richards

Flair pounds him into the corner to start like some legend beating down some midcard guy that never really got over other than for a few months. Flair pounds on him in the other corner now and we head to the floor. Back in and Flair gets backdropped but avoids a dropkick. Flair blocks a suplex, hits a belly to back of his own, and ends it with the Figure Four.

Rating: D. Total squash here and I have no idea why. Is this really the best they can do with Flair? I mean, you can’t have him feud with Benoit or Guerrero and let him get one of those guys over? Flair doesn’t need to win these matches and they’re not helping Richards, nor are they doing anything for Flair, so what’s the point? Better question: why am I expecting a point?

Rock has sung a lot. He’s coming back to Smackdown though, probably because there’s no one on Raw worth his time.

Here are Heyman and the KOTR and #1 contender, Brock Lesnar. Heyman talks about how whoever wins the triple threat is going to be the lamb led to slaughter at Summerslam. Lesnar gets RVD for the IC Title at Vengeance which Heyman declares a win already. Heyman knows this because he created RVD (and never put the world title on him for no apparent reason) along with everyone else in ECW. He made them to satiate the blood thist (his terms) of these Philadelphia fans.

This brings out Tommy Dreamer with a kendo stick. Guess what the fans start chanting. Dreamer says Heyman didn’t make anyone. It was the people working so hard that made ECW along with the fans. Dreamer says he used to be the Innovator of Violence and he can take whatever beating Brock can give him. He hits Brock with the stick a few times and goes after Heyman, only to walk into the F5 on the floor. Van Dam comes out of nowhere for the save. Heyman takes a Van Terminator.

Pat Croce, the former boss of the Philadelphia 76ers, is here to talk about his new show Slam Ball, which is this freaky idea that had basketball being played with trampolines.

European Title: Jeff Hardy vs. William Regal

Regal is defending of course. Jeff starts fast and hits the Whisper in the Wind for two. The legdrop between the legs keeps Regal down and they head outside. Regal gets in some stomps and takes over before hitting a Tiger Bomb in the ring for two. Regal Cutter gets two as well and Regal takes Jeff’s head off with a running knee. The champ puts on a kind of Tazmission which doesn’t last long followed by some elbows for two. Regal goes to take off the buckle pad and gets dropkicked into the corner. That and a Swanton are enough for the pin and the title for Jeff.

Rating: C-. Another short match that didn’t mean anything. Jeff would look to be in line for a push here, but the title would be retired in two weeks because someone thought it was a good idea to have one champion per show for some reason that no one ever really explained. Jeff would do nothing of note before leaving in 2003.

This is your life Rock!

Regal starts to cry in the back. This also went nowhere as far as I remember.

The Dudleys ask RVD to be their partner.

NWO/Chris Benoit/Eddie Guerrero vs. Bubba Ray Dudley/Spike Dudley/Rob Van Dam/Booker T/Goldust

Van Dam and X-Pac start things off which is one of the best possible combinations they could put out there. Van Dam takes over with a lot of kicks and gets two off a big one. Off to Goldie who pounds away in the corner before hitting a powerslam for no cover. Here’s Bubba, who somehow seems to be the guy on the face team getting the biggest push out of all of them.

Off to Spike with a headscissor takeover but he tries one too many flips and is taken down by a kick. Pac brings in Benoit who lays out Spike with a gordbuster before bringing in Eddie. After a bit more beating, a BIG monkey flip sends Eddie flying. Benoit comes in to suplex RVD down and it’s time for Big Show. Van Dam keeps playing Ricky Morton for awhile with X-Pac choking away.

Van Dam comes out of nowhere with a superkick but Shawn breaks up the Five Star. A spin kick from Rob allows for the hot tag to Bubba who cleans as much house as he can. Shawn trips Bubba and is chased to the back by Van Dam. As Van Dam is chasing him, Lesnar pops out and takes Rob’s head off with a clothesline and lays him out with the F5. Bubba gets slammed by Show and it’s off to Benoit again. Make that Eddie as you can see who is doing all the work here.

Hot tag brings in Booker who cleans the house all over again but Nash hits him in the back of the head. Here’s the tag to Nash and let’s time this. A big boot takes Booker down and then Nash goes over to the face corner, trips over Booker, and rips his quad apart, putting him on the shelf until April. Everything breaks down and Sweet Chin Music and a chokeslam end Booker.

Rating: D-. So let’s see: we had Benoit and Eddie doing all the work, Bubba and Spike doing nothing of note, Booker doing the job, and the NWO getting to look good. Other than them, who benefits from this? This was all about the NWO which did nothing at all their entire run. Thankfully due to Nash’s injury the team was split up the next week. This match sucked though and is a perfect way to cap off the awful show.

Shawn warns HHH to join or else to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. Nothing good happened on this show. Literally, there was nothing to see here at all. The best match is Benoit vs. Bubba which was nothing more than a setup for later in the show. It had one of the worst matches I’ve ever seen and some of the least interesting feuds in wrestling history. Who is the top face here? Van Dam? Booker? Bubba? It’s really hard to tell and that’s not good. This was the problem they were risking by having Austin be the only top guy and they had to bring HHH over soon to give them a star to save the show, which led to the disaster that was 2003. Horrible HORRIBLE show here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: September 4, 2009
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Jim Ross, Todd Grisham

This is on the request list for one reason: Mysterio vs. Morrison. Mysterio had been wellnessed while still being the Intercontinental Champion, so a match was thrown together and was a match of the year candidate. Other than that I have no idea what’s coming here. We’re approaching Breaking Point which means Punk is about to defend the title against Undertaker. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Punk winning a loser leaves the WWE match against Jeff Hardy recently. This transitions into a pretty awesome career highlight reel for Hardy.

In a great opening, CM Punk comes out in a nearly perfect Jeff Hardy outfit to Jeff’s music and nailing Jeff’s mannerisms. The kids in the audience exploded when they heard Hardy’s music but once they figured it out they looked furious. Punk talks about how this is the last time you’ll ever see a trace of the Charismatic Enabler (great nickname) which is a good thing because the people that cheer for him are too weak to have Hardy around. Now they have a champion they can look up to and he’ll never fail a test or miss a show because of an incident.

This brings him around to the Undertaker because Punk is now an icon on Smackdown as well. He’s won back to back Money in the Bank ladder matches as well as sent Jeff Hardy packing. Punk says if Undertaker wants to come out here right now that’s cool with the champ. There’s no Taker so Punk runs down the Dead Man a bit before bashing the fans for being so easily lead to believe anything. At Breaking Point, it’s one on one and Punk has no breaking point, which is why he can’t lose.

Punk says he’s stronger than any alcohol and straighter than any line you can shoot up your nose. He does however have one vice, which we don’t get to hear because here’s Matt Hardy. Matt charges at Punk and the brawl is on quickly. Neither guy really gets an advantage so they break it up.

Taker is back tonight.

Punk yells at Teddy so Teddy makes Matt vs. Punk non-title tonight.

Finlay/Great Khali vs. Mike Knox/Kane

Kane is all psycho and evil here (no really) and has a Singapore Cane match coming up with Khali at the PPV. Finlay and Knox get us started with Finlay being dropped face first on the buckle. Kane misses the clothesline and it’s off to Khali, sending Kane running away. Khali puts the Vice Grip on Knox who bails to the floor. We take a break and come back with Khali clotheslining Kane down and chopping him in the corner.

Back to Finlay vs. Knox with Finlay hitting the running earthquake drop for two. Apparently Finlay is afraid of Knox for some reason. Finlay is sent shoulder first into the post and it’s off to Kane to work over the arm. Knox works on an armbar followed by a crossbody of all things for two. Back to Kane who gets low bridged by Finlay. Khali has to save his brother/manager Runjin Singh and in the distraction, Finlay hits Knox with the shillelagh for the pin.

Rating: D+. This didn’t really work and was longer than it needed to be. Knox vs. Finlay was a feud but it was barely explained here. At least with Kane he’s naturally evil and therefore it’s easy to plug him into a story. Other than that there wasn’t much here and the match wasn’t that interesting as a result.

Vince comes in to see Teddy and it’s a plug for the Rise and Fall of WCW DVD. Vince talks about the title match between Punk and Taker and his jacket a bit. Not sure what the point of this was but that’s the case with most Vince segments.

Eve and Maria are in the back. Eve wants to beat up Natalya and Maria is overly perky. Michelle McCool comes in on crutches and makes fun of them, saying that Ziggler is going to dump Maria. Melina comes in and it’s a big argument that goes nowhere.

Intercontinental Title: John Morrison vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio is defending. They shake hands and we’re ready to go. Both guys try fast rollups but it’s a standoff. They go to a test of strength grip and Mysterio fires some kicks to the legs, only to have Morrison get on top of him for some two counts. A headlock gives Morrison control on the mat as we’re still in the feeling out process so far.

Commentary goes away for a bit and comes back with Morrison rolling up Rey for two. Rey gets his first big move in and hits a rana to send both guys to the floor. They’re going in slow motion so far due to a lack of a reason for them to fight which is the constant problem you can have in a match like this. Back in and Mysterio charges into the corner and his shoulder CRACKS off the post. That sounded great. Or awful. I’m not sure which.

They finally speed things up with Rey snapping off a big headscissors to fire up the crowd and for two. Morrison starts making Mysterio miss him before getting kicked in the face and splashed for two. Rey hooks a chinlock to give both guys a chance to breathe. The fans seem to be far more behind Morrison which is kind of strange. Morrison fights up and hits a front flip into a dropkick for two in a sweet counter.

Standing shooting star gets two for Morrison before things speed up again and Rey is sent flying out to the floor. That gets two back inside as does a spinning legdrop from Morrison. We hit the chinlock again for a bit before Rey hits a pair of rollups for two. Morrison gets out of the 619 and they both try crossbodies at once.

We take a break and come back with both guys still down and Morrison getting two. Morrison puts on a bodyscissors which doesn’t get him anywhere. Rey sends him to the apron and out to the floor followed by another hurricanrana to the outside. A springboard legdrop gets two but the sitout bulldog is countered into a mat slam by Morrison for two. A running knee to the face of Rey gets two as does a spinning cross body from Mysterio.

Mysterio goes up but jumps into a dropkick which gets another near fall. Starship Pain misses and Rey hits the 619 out of nowhere. The springboard splash misses and the Flying Chuck (think Cody’s Disaster Kick) gets a very close two. John goes up and after countering a rana attempt, hits a middle rope Starship Pain for the pin and the title.

Rating: B. I haven’t seen this match before actually and the only thing I can think of to say is that’s it? It was good and the ending had some solid near falls, but if this was a match of the year candidate the this was one of the weakest years ever for wrestling. It was a good match and entertained me, but man this just didn’t fire me up other than once or twice near the end. I don’t get the hype here and I think it’s one of those situations where people confuse length of a match with the quality of the match.

Here comes R-Truth but Drew McIntyre jumps him. McIntyre says that he’s going to keep ruining our parties until he gets the respect he deserves.

Maria/Eve Torres vs. Layla/Natalya

Apparently this is the fallout from a six person tag last night where Eve had Natalya beaten but Tyson Kidd cost her the fall. Nattie and Maria start things off. I don’t know if it’s my thing for redheads or what but Maria has always been gorgeous. Layla distracts Maria and Nattie takes her head off with a clothesline to take over.

Off to Layla who hooks her reverse Tarantula and hits a shot to the back of Maria for two. The evil ones (Layla/Natalya) take turns beating up Maria until it’s finally off to Eve. She comes in and fires off some kicks before getting kicked in the face by Layla for two. Everything breaks down and eve hits a cartwheel into a moonsault to Layla for the pin.

Rating: C-. I say this a lot but it’s amazing how much more interesting the girls used to be like a year ago. I can’t quite put my finger on it but they come off as much stronger and more serious characters here instead of the girls today where they come off as cute and perky. The older ones come off as serious and tougher and more like wrestlers than Divas, which is a good thing.

Matt Hardy says he’s out for revenge tonight, rather than the world title or his soul.

CM Punk vs. Matt Hardy

Non-title here. Matt goes right after him and Punk bails to the floor almost immediately. Back in and Punk gets rammed into the buckle a few times and clotheslined down for no cover. This is Matt’s return match from an injury apparently. Punk gets the not too bright Matt to chase him around the ring and the champ gets in some shots, only to get caught in a swinging neckbreaker for no cover again. That makes sense as Matt is here for revenge, not a quick win.

The Side Effect is countered and Punk goes up, only to get superplexed back down. This has been almost all Matt so far. Punk drapes Matt over the top rope and knocks him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Matt caught in an abdominal stretch and Punk firing off kicks to the bad ribs. Off to a body vice followed by a whip into the corner for two. Punk fires off his strikes and the champ is in full control.

Matt tries to fight back but gets rammed into the buckle to slow him right back down again. Back to the abdominal stretch which is Punk trying to prove that he’s a master of submissions. Matt counters with a kind of Samoan Drop for two and avoids a charge, sending Punk’s shoulder into the post. A bulldog gets two for Matt as does a middle rope legdrop to the back of the head.

Twist of Fate is countered but Matt gets two off a small package instead. The high kick gets two for the champ and Punk is frustrated. Punk tries a springboard clothesline but gets caught in a Side Effect for two. They head to the floor and Matt jumps into a kick to the ribs to put Punk right back in control. Punk grabs a chair to blast Hardy in the ribs and back, which somehow doesn’t draw a DQ. Punk wraps the chair around Matt’s throat…..and the lights go out. The match ends here for all intents and purposes.

Rating: B-. I was getting into this at the end, even though you knew Taker would be involved somehow. To be fair though, the match could have ended before he showed up so it wasn’t a lock that it would end out in a no contest. Matt was game here and the story wrote itself given the issues with Jeff lately. Matt was always on the brink of jumping forward and then always started being crazy again.

Taker chokeslams Punk through the table to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. I was digging this show. We had two good matches, good looking women having a competent match where they looked like they knew what they were doing, a solid promo from the champions, and an entertaining show overall. It’s amazing how much better things are here when they take the show seriously and not as a Raw supplement. Good show and I enjoyed it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews