NXT
Date: July 19, 2011
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: William Regal, Todd Grisham

We’re at episode 20 of this.  I said episode 20.  With no sign of this season ending, I really do wonder if they know where they’re going with this.  It’s not like we haven’t seen these people wrestle a dozen or so times already anyway.  The show is in desperate need of ending but since apparently FCW is so bad they can’t find five others to be in this, we’re stuck here some more.  Let’s get to it.

We’re going to get the ending to Raw from last night later on apparently.

Maryse and Striker are in the ring and there’s a punching bag with Cole’s face on it.  Here come the rookies.  We go over the Redemption points which are totally worthless because Bateman has zero and O’Neil is so far ahead of everyone it’s unreal.  This is the Dummy Demonstration which is why Cole’s face is on it.  This is worth five points and apparently it’s whoever can have the best mini-match with the dummy.  Are you serious?

Bateman makes fun of Titus and says he’s sorry to the dummy and loves it.  I’ve been watching wrestling my entire life which is over 20 years.  I have never, in my entire life, heard a crowd go as silent as they do when they get the idea of what this actually is.  Bateman does some basic stuff and does something resembling commentary as he does it.

Young refuses to do it (give this man the prize right now!) because he’s proven himself already.  Titus says Bateman should try those moves on him instead of the dummy.  Whoever Young has faced doesn’t matter and Titus throws the dummy at Young who is on the floor.  They actually ask the audience who won.  Gee, could it be the person that has dominated the whole thing and is clearly the most popular?  This very well may have been the biggest waste of time since the Gobbledygooker.

OH BOY!!!  Now I get to watch Vladimir Kozlov vs. JTG!  I’ve heard of Christmas in July but this is proof that the WWE is officially inside my head and knows everything I want to see!

JTG vs. Vladimir Kozlov

 

Before the match, JTG proves why he should never be handed a microphone and why I believe western civilization is in its decline, all in about 30 seconds.  That’s impressive.  We have to sit through an ad for WWE All-Stars first though.  I wait on the edge of my seat!  Remember that there’s some kind of a bet that Kozlov can’t be a gangster or something.  I heard CM Punk has some experience with that so maybe Koz should go find the champ.

JTG takes over to start as Regal bashes him to keep up the tradition.  Middle rope dropkick gets two.  He takes Koz down again and stares at Regal before covering.  Regal offers JTG lessons in how to finish opponents off.  As long as he doesn’t go to Terri Runnels for advice on finishing guys off he’ll be fine.  Chinlock goes on as this has been totally one sided.  Koz fires back with his strikes but a powerslam doesn’t work.  And never mind as that Iron Curtain or whatever it’s called ends this at 5:30.

Rating: D+. Fine from a wrestling perspective I guess but could they be padding these shows out any worse?  Terribly boring match though as they were out there for a short amount of time and yet still managed to not be able to interest anyone in the crowd.  At the end of the day they’re fighting over incredibly contrived angles and that’s not going to get them anywhere, especially with uninteresting matches.

Horny shows Maryse the candy he got last week and she says it’s not from her.  He kind of humps her leg and she pours the candy on his head.  Maryse leaves and he gets another package, this time an Ugly Doll.  And yet that’s what they’re really called.

Yoshi’s shrine has been destroyed.

You know that line in the secondary theme song of “If I can make it through this, I can make it through anything” is WAY too accurate for this show.

Darren Young vs. Titus O’Neil

 

This is the 7^th match that these two have had on this season alone, not counting triple threats or tags.  Darren grabs a headlock which gets him nowhere as Titus hits a powerslam and abdominal stretch.  He shouts out to the Minnesota crowd and no one cares.  Big clothesline gets something close to a reaction and let’s hit that stretch again.  Young tries to walk out and that doesn’t go well either.  Darren gets tossed into the corner and crashes to the floor in a decent bump.  They fight to the apron and Young manages a neckbreaker.  Bateman (called Young by Grisham) comes out with a picture of Cole as we take a break.

Back with Young holding a chinlock.  We talk about Daniel Bryan to fill some time as Titus fights back and hammers Young down in the corner resulting in a two count.  Young stops him and we talk about some MITB cash-ins.  Back to the chinlock as Horny plays cheerleader a bit.  We get a Gordon Solie reference which is just an insult to his memory.

O’Neil gets a powerslam for two.  Horny tries to come in for no apparent reason and Bateman trips O’Neil.  Great line from the commentators: Todd: “Did you see that???” Regal: “No.  I’m an old villain.  I did NOT see that.”  Doesn’t matter anyway because Titus hits the Clash of the Titus for the pin at 11:11.

Rating: D+. The match is boring because as I said earlier, this is the seventh time it’s happened.  It’s not like this is Booker vs. Benoit and they can have seven entertaining matches.  This pairing is played out, mainly because we’ve seen it so many times before and no one cares anymore.  Scratch that.  No one cares, period.  Not bad, but Bateman added nothing to it at all.

Time for the Vince/HHH segment from last night, in its entirety.  By that I mean including the Vince/Cena stuff.  Huge moment and I can totally understand it airing here.

Overall Rating: F. Let’s see.  In about 50 minutes we had a segment that involved performing moves on a dummy which was won by someone that didn’t actually do any moves on it, a match between two guys who don’t have Pros on the show anymore and literally the 7^th match between the same guys this season, followed by a segment long enough that I was able to take a shower during it.  What grade did you think I was going to give this?

Results

Titus O’Neil won the Dummy Demonstration Challenge

Vladimir Kozlov b. JTG – Iron Curtain

Titus O’Neil b. Darren Young – Clash of the Titus

What do you all think about it?

My thoughts:

As you all know, last night the WWE board of directors gave Vince a vote of no confidence, resulting in Vince being relieved of his duties to allow HHH to take over said job.  In short, this should be a very interesting story especially with the wild card aspect of Punk being out there somewhere as world champion.  I could see Punk coming back to aide a humbled Vince as a hired gun to help Vince come back into the leadership position.

As for HHH, that’s a very interesting aspect as well.  HHH as an on screen authority figure is a great touch, especially considering he can have a quick physical fight with someone if he has to.  Unlike Vince, it wouldn’t have to be a street fight every time so we could get some longer stuff.  I can live with that, especially since HHH can probably still bring it.  He’s also a very old school mind for the business, which is possibly what the company needs.  Should be very interesting indeed.

Your thoughts?

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 18, 2011
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

This is a very different era for Raw as Punk is now world champion but has apparently left the company with the championship.  Also we have Alberto Del Rio as the Money in the Bank winner who didn’t cash in officially last night because the bell never rang.  This should be a very interesting show so let’s get to it.

Here’s Vince to open the show.  Nice to see them going straight into the big story.  Johnny Ace is with him.  Vince’s punk jacket isn’t quite as manly as something Bret would wear but most men aren’t Bret Hart.  The locker room is all watching on a monitor in the back.  The fans chant for Punk and Vince says he’ll never say that name again.  Punk is an ingrate apparently and walked out on the fans, the locker room and everyone that has ever been in this ring.

Vince says no one is bigger than the WWE and lists off a bunch of names.  There will be a new WWE Champion crowned tonight in an 8 man tournament.  Ziggler vs. Rey is one of the matches.  Swagger vs. Truth.  Kofi vs. Del Rio and Miz vs. Riley….again.  He addresses Cena not being in the match because Cena let everyone down last night.  Cena will face unmentioned consequences.  Vince promises we’ll always remember tonight so enjoy the show.

We talk about Cena tweeting that he’s been fired and if that’s hot it is, Cena is sorry to Rock.

WWE Championship Tournament Quarterfinals: The Miz vs. Alex Riley

 

Miz is limping but the fact that he’s out there is a great sign after how bad his knee looked.  Riley’s entrance and the bell are after the break.  Here we go and Riley goes after the bad knee which is rather smart.  He has psychology at least.  A kick to the knee puts Miz down and he works it over a bit.  Miz’s knee goes around the post and Riley gets two back in.  Riley’s shoulder goes into the post and here comes Miz.

Miz throws on a cravate to slow Riley down.  You have to win by pinfall or submission so there are no DQs or countouts.  Riley manages to ram Miz’s neck into his knee to take over.  Spinebuster gets two.  The inverted DDT and the Finale don’t work so Miz goes up.  He jumps into a really bad Texas Cloverleaf (called a Sharpshooter by Cole) but manages to get a rope.  Alex hammers away and Miz is staggering.  And never mind as Riley walks into the Skull Crushing Finale for the clean pin at 4:57.

Rating: C. Nice to see Miz get a clean win over Riley as he was starting to look far too weak.  A deep run in this tournament could help him a lot as this win did.  Pretty average match here but for a TV match in a tournament that needs to have relatively quick matches, this was perfectly fine.

Video on John Morrison who is coming back soon from his neck injury apparently.

WWE Championship Tournament Quarter-Finals: R-Truth vs. Jack Swagger

 

Swagger grabs a headlock to start us off.  Truth keeps talking to himself as they circle each other a bit more.  Apparently Big Show will be out for two months.  Truth gets a victory roll for two as Truth does his weird pelvic thrust dance.  Belly to belly gets two for Swagger.  Swagger beats on Truth a bit more before the Vader Bomb gets two.  Double chickenwing goes on Truth as the crowd doesn’t care.  Truth starts his comeback but misses the Axe kick.  It’s countered into the ankle lock but Truth counters into a rollup for the pin at 4:20.

Rating: C-. This was a weird one as the heel vs. heel dynamic was kind of all over the place.  Truth was moving around fast like a face would do but since both are heels it’s kind of hard to call.  Either way it wasn’t anything all that special but with just over four minutes and no feud to work off of, how good can you really get?

WWE Championship Tournament Quarter-Finals: Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston

 

Alberto is VERY fired up about being Mr. Money in the Bank.  He talks about trying to cash in last night but Punk ran away.  Alberto has a surprise and RICARDO IS BACK!  Why this is exciting is beyond me but you have to shout at a return!!!  The bell rings after a break and Del Rio gets a fast seated dropkick to the back of the head for two.  Alberto goes after the leg of Kofi which is a change of pace for him.

Kofi starts his jumping around and hits a back elbow to take Del Rio down.  Rock apparently has begged Vince not to fire Cena.  This match seems kind of rushed.  Del Rio is sent to the floor and Kofi hits a sweet dive to take Alberto down.  Kofi takes too long to come back in and gets caught by an enziguri for two.  Off to a chinlock which doesn’t last long at all.  Another kick gets two.

Elbow drop gets the same and we’re back to the chinlock.  Kofi starts his comeback and the crowd finally reacts.  Boom Drop is avoided though and Del Rio gets a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two.  Cross armbreaker is countered into a rollup for the pin out of nowhere at approximately 5:00.

Rating: C. Rather surprised by the pin here but Alberto losing makes things more interesting as far as surprise winners could go.  I didn’t like the match itself for the most part as it seemed kind of rushed but the ending helped it a bit.  Nice to see Kofi get an actual big win for once too.

Summerslam Recall is from 1992 where Bulldog beat Bret.

Kofi says he’s excited and tonight is a new opportunity.  That’s one down and two to go.

WWE Championship Tournament Quarter-Finals: Rey Mysterio vs. Dolph Ziggler

 

Ziggler trabs him to start but Rey speeds things up to escape.  Rey is tossed to the floor and takes a nice flapjack to put him down again.  In the ring that gets two as does a big elbow drop.  Off to a stump puller which is an old school submission.  Dolph takes him down to the mat and has been in control for most of the match.  Splash in the corner misses though and Rey gets a quick two count.

Seated senton off the top hits but Ziggler gets a sunset flip.  They exchange some kicks, resulting in Dolph getting a two count.  Clothesline misses for Dolph and the sleeper is countered.  Rey counters into a 619 attempt but Dolph ducks and hits a reverse slam for two.  619 hits on the second attempt and a top rope splash pins the US Champion clean at 5:00.

Rating: C. Not bad again here but at the same time it was kind of boring again.  These five minute matches can only be so good because they have to fly through everything instead of letting a match build itself up.  That gets really annoying quickly and it certainly has in these four matches so far.  Still though not bad.

Jerry calls Punk the former champion.

Updated brackets:

Mysterio vs. R-Truth

Kofi vs. Miz

Vince is talking to Johnny Ace about the tournament.

Face Diva Team vs. Heel Diva Team

 

Like I’m listing off 12-14 Divas for a two minute match.  Beth vs. Rosa to start and they botch something badly.  Slingshot suplex hits and everything breaks down within about 15 seconds.  Glam Slam and we’re done at 1:02.  About as good as I was expecting.  Anything with Kelly in those tiny white shorts is never a bad thing though.

WWE Championship Tournament Semi-Finals: Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz

 

Kofi immediately goes for the knee and Miz is having to fight through the issues.  Kofi does his reversal off the ropes with his hair.  They horribly botch a dropkick as Miz falls before it even hits.  Double stomp gets two for Kofi but he gets crotched soon after that.  Slingshot elbow gets two for Kofi but Miz rolls through a top rope cross body.  He hits more or less a Stunner to the knee and loads up Trouble in Paradise, only for Miz to head to the apron to escape.  Miz gets put into a rollup for two but gets a modified Snake Eyes and hits the Finale to end it at 3:45.  Miz is bleeding from the mouth a bit.

Rating: D+. Didn’t feel this one at all.  The quick endings are crippling this thing but having seven matches in two hours and all with clean endings is probably asking too much.  Not a horrible match I guess but at the same time this was way too rushed as they were trying to get too much in there.  As with almost all these matches, they would be better with more time.

Truth says he should be champion and there’s a conspiracy.  The Little Jimmys better close their eyes because the title is gonna get got.

Video on Andy from Tough Enough who grew up in a very bad neighborhood apparently, complete with a meth lab.

WWE Championship Tournament Semi-Finals: Rey Mysterio vs. R-Truth

 

Truth takes over to start and pounds Rey down, hitting a suplex for two.  They collide which of course goes badly for Rey, resulting in another two count.  Off to a front facelock by Truth and a knee to Rey’s ribs stops him again.  After a body scissors Rey gets some momentum, including a bad looking arm drag to put Truth on the floor.  Rey hits a suicide dive and we take a break.

Back with Truth holding a chinlock.  Apparently Rey tried two top rope moves during the break and was ½ with them.  Truth gets an extra spinny forearm for two.  619 attempt is countered by a forearm for two.  Back to the front facelock as it seems like both of them are spent.  Truth charges at Rey in the corner but goes into the middle buckle instead.  Rey still can’t keep any momentum going and Truth hits his suplex into the stunner for two.  Rey goes to the apron and hits a headscissors to set up the 619.  Top rope splash puts him into the finals at 12:48.

Rating: D+. Not a horrible match but there was WAY too much laying around.  This show is just draining and it’s the same problem as there always is in one night tournaments: the uniqueness of seeing each person goes away quickly because we’re going to see the finalists three times in one night which is just way too much.  Not bad but rather dull at times.

Rey stays in the ring for the main event which is next.

 

And before the bell here’s Vince in that pink jacket again.  Miz isn’t even out there yet.  Vince sounds like he calls it the WWF Title.  I’m pretty sure he did.  He has to hurry though because there’s something else he needs to do.  No title match?  Apparently not as Vince says this is bigger than Rey.  Sadly enough he doesn’t make the required joke.  Yep the match is postponed so no match here.

Vince reiterates that no one is bigger than the WWE, including John Cena.  There’s a CM Punk chant.  Vince talks about how this isn’t about his ego and how he did what was right from a business perspective.  This was a long term decision and in time, the fans will thank him.  Let’s get this over with apparently and here’s Cena.

Cena says he isn’t going to go through some big rant or tirade and he knows what’s coming.  He isn’t going to go through what Shawn Michaels went through.  Apparently this is about Montreal somehow and how Shawn had to go through the constant reminders of how he screwed Bret.  Cena doesn’t want to be remembered as the guy that screwed CM Punk.

Last night was about Vince wanting to keep his bubble intact because no one can embarrass Vince.  Vince needed a patsy but Cena wasn’t going to play ball that way.  Cena tells Punk that was a great match.  He wasn’t going to take the title that way because it would have made it look meaningless.  That’s true to an extent.  Cena says Vince now has about 8 months to find a new opponent for Rock.  Somehow he’s sure Vince can pull it off though so it doesn’t really matter.

Cena says that we should just get to it.  He says if Vince has to fire him here tonight, he’ll keep doing it on someone else’s TV show….Brother.  Hokey smoke we just got an actual Impact reference.  Cena starts to walk but Vince stops him.  And…….it’s time to play the game?  Here’s HHH of all people in a suit.  Vince is all happy to see him but HHH isn’t thrilled.

There was a board of directors meeting this morning and he says that twice for some reason.  The board is concerned about the current situation.  HHH wants to take this to the back so it doesn’t have to be in person.  The board however is about Vince.  It’s true that Vince built all this, but at the same time they’re worried about Vince’s “extremely questionable decisions” as of late.

HHH again offers to take this to the back but Vince says do it here.  The board has asked HHH to come here to tell Vince that there’s an injunction against him with a vote of no confidence.  Vince laughs it off but apparently the family agrees.  On top of that, the board has appointed someone to take over the day to day operations.  That would be……HHH apparently.  Cena IS NOT fired and HHH is about to cry.  Vince is officially relieved of his duties (HUGE pop for that) and HHH breaks down.  He loves “pop” and he’s sorry.  Vince stands in the middle of the ring and HHH walks out.  A thank you Vince chant ends this.

Overall Rating: C+. What a difference 15 minutes makes.  I had this all ready to go with a bad grade and then they spring this Vince is fired thing on me.  HHH as the new Mr. McMahon could work incredibly well as he’s someone we’re familiar with and he could even jump in the ring once in awhile.  I liked the ending a lot and I’m very interested in where this could go.  The first two hours were pretty awful but the ending is awesome stuff indeed.  Good ending to an otherwise bad show.

Results

The Miz b. Alex Riley – Skull Crushing Finale

R-Truth b. Jack Swagger – Rollup

Kofi Kingston b. Alberto Del Rio – Rollup

Rey Mysterio b. Dolph Ziggler – Top Rope Splash

Kelly Kelly/AJ/Kaitlyn/Gail Kim/Beth Phoenix/Eve Torres/Natalya b. Rosa Mendes/Tamina/Bella Twins/Maryse/Alicia Fox

The Miz b. Kofi Kingston – Skull Crushing Finale

Rey Mysterio b. R-Truth – Top Rope Splash

Money in the Bank 2011
Date: July 17, 2011
Location: Allstate Arena, Rosemont, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Jerry Lawler

It’s Money in the Bank and I’m rather clueless as to who is going to win three of the four main matches.  The MITB matches themselves are total tossups and the Punk vs. Cena match could go a bunch of ways.  It’ll definitely be interesting and will set the stage for at least the next few months worth of shows, if nothing else due to the MITB cases, assuming one isn’t cashed in tonight.  Let’s get to it.

Opening video is of course mainly about Punk vs. Cena, which to be fair is by far and away the biggest match on the card.

Sin Cara vs. Justin Gabriel vs. Heath Slater vs. Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Wade Barrett vs. Kane vs. Daniel Bryan

 

This is going to be a big insane match so it’s almost impossible to call what’s going on in these things.  I’m really not sure who to predict in this.  I went with Cody as a more or less random choice mainly out of a lack of anyone else.  Big mess to start as these really should only have six people in them.  Kane, Barrett and Sheamus clear the ring out and it’s a three way staredown.

The Europeans….wait Kane is from Spain.  Ok the two guys not named Kane go down and it’s ladder time already.  Bryan dropkicks Kane down as Slater and Gabriel team up a bit.  Cara, who is in white/gray here, gets taken down but the former tag partners fight already.  Slater goes for the ladder and is loudly booed.  Gabriel goes up but the ladder is way off center.  Bryan dropkicks him off but Cody goes up.

Kane sends Sheamus and Cody to the floor but Barrett stops the Big Bald.  Kane throws a ladder at Sheamus to take him down.  Slater vs. Kane and guess who wins that one.  Cara pops up out of nowhere to drill Kane and break up the clothesline.  Bryan hits a big dive and Gabriel does the same.  Sorry for all the play by play stuff but it’s all you can do in these things for the most part.

Cara is like screw you guys I’m the flier here and takes out Sheamus with a huge one.  He follows that up by kicking Bryan in the head and hitting the top rope C4 to take Bryan down.  Sin tries to go for the briefcase but can’t pick a ladder up and into the ring.  Barrett kicks his head off so it doesn’t matter.  They do the whole set up a ladder as a bridge from the ring to the table thing as is customary.

Cara avoids going through it though and Barrett clotheslines the post.  For some reason the masked guy goes in again without a ladder and gets his head kicked off by Sheamus.  Not a good night for the Mexican dude.  Cara gets powerbombed through the ladder to more or less kill him.  BIG pop for Sheamus for that one.  Sheamus is controlling almost everyone here as Cara is taken out on a stretcher.

Kane and Sheamus are in the ring and fighting over a ladder.  Scratch that as all three go to the floor.  Bryan, Kane and Cody are all in the ring with ladders now.  The small guys work together to take Kane down and there goes that partnership.  Cara is gone now, as in out of the entire arena via a stretcher.  Kane has the big ladder set up in the ring and everyone comes in.  Cody makes an attempt but all the small guys make a save.

The former Nexus triple teams Bryan and then the tag team tells Barrett to go ahead.  Barrett proves why British wrestlers are stupid as he goes up and is pulled down just a few seconds later.  Both of them go up but Rhodes shoves the ladder down.  Cross Rhodes takes someone down and it’s time for Barrett and Rhodes to fight over the ladder.  Cross Rhodes takes Barrett out but Sheamus makes the last second save.

There’s an Irish Curse and pasty goes up, only for Bryan to make the save.  Bryan rams him into the ladder a few times and goes up at the same time.  Sheamus and Kane combine for a Doomsday Device to END Bryan.  Kane and Sheamus are alone in the ring now.  Well other than a ladder but that doesn’t count I don’t think.  The big ladder is in the ring and a regular one is set up as a bridge against the middle buckle.

Kane escapes though and chokeslams various small people.  Big Bald goes up but Bryan makes ANOTHER save despite being legally deceased I believe.  Bryan goes up and almost gets the LeBell Lock on the ladder.  That would be awesome.  Bryan manages to knock Kane to the floor but Slater stops him.  Bryan saves AGAIN as he’s been insane so far tonight.

Slater goes up one more time but Barrett saves.  Time for Barrett vs. Sheamus which doesn’t sound all that appealing.  Thankfully they team up and stop Slater, using a ladder like a fork to stop Slater and shove him off the top.  That was cool.  Sheamus goes nuts and takes out a lot of people so he can climb.  Naturally he’s not that smart so he sets up another ladder on the top rope.

Sheamus is just beating people up at the moment and not really trying to go after it.  Even Booker is saying GO FOR IT.  Ok now he’s going up but Kane pops up from nowhere to stop him.  Sheamus has a bridge ladder beneath him.  He goes onto it but doesn’t break it.  FREAKING OW MAN!  Wasteland hits Kane and Gabriel climbs a ladder and hits 450 in the tightest space possible.  That was AWESOME.

Bryan and Cody go at it on the ladder as everyone but Barrett is down.  Wade comes up as Bryan tries to choke Cody out because he’s an idiot.  Cody goes down and Wade takes an elbow to knock him backwards a bit.  Bryan is alone up there and Wade is on the bridge.  Bryan kicks him down and WINS THE CASE!  Totally didn’t see that one coming.

Rating: A. I liked the storytelling aspect of this as Bryan was the MVP of this thing.  He made a ton of saves and certainly deserved to win it in the end.  The spots in this were great and Cara going out might have been due to prevent him from botching something major, which says a lot.  I’m not sure I can see Bryan winning a title but stranger things have happened.  GREAT match though.

Vince is here.  Hokey smoke that’s Johnny Ace with him.

Apparently Punk hasn’t signed yet but is in a meeting for a last second negotiation.

Divas Title: Kelly Kelly vs. Brie Bella

 

Booker says he never dressed like his brother in Harlem Heat.  Is his memory failing or something?  No idea what you want me to say here.  They’re both hot, they’re both inept, the match is slightly longer than a regular match they have on Raw.  Kelly is champion in case you’re reading this like three years from now.  It’s a totally boring match and it’s a total food break for the crowd.  Oh and Eve is with Kelly at ringside here.  Crowd is dead here.  K2 ends this at like four minutes.  Total filler and it knows it.

 

Rating: D. What do you want me to say here?  This match was nothing but the girls looked good so I can’t call it a failure.  The division is horrible since Kharma got pregnant and Laycool went down at the same time.  Not a horrible match but just an extended Raw thing really.  It served its purpose though I guess.

 

Summerslam ad.  It’s in the summer you know.  Eh Divas in bikinis is never a bad thing.

We recap Henry vs. Show.  They’re both big, they’re both strong, they both hurt people.  Yeah that’s about it.

Mark Henry vs. Big Show

 

Henry is in blue here.  They slug it out to start and Show JUMPS at him with a shoulder block to take Mark down.  Out to the floor early and Show loads up a chokeslam through the table but Henry breaks it up.  Show shoves him over the steps and the bald one is in control.  Scratch that as Henry sends him into the steps and Show goes back in.  Henry goes for the knee with a chop block and Show is in trouble.

Boot to the head gets two.  Half crab goes on which makes sense for once.  Henry?  Psychology?  What’s in this lemonade I’m drinking?  Show grabs a rope and manages to kick Henry off which looked rather cool.  Splash/running clothesline hits Show in the corner and Henry is all angry and such.  Show GOES UP and hits a shoulder block off the middle rope but he hurts his knee again.

Both guys are down now and the count gets like three.  Show loads up the chokeslam but Henry kicks him in the knee to break it up.  World’s Strongest Slam but it only gets two.  Dang I would have thought that was the ending.  Another World’s Strongest Slam and a pair of splashes and Show is finally done.

Rating: C+. Call me crazy but I liked it.  They were going at it out there and more importantly than anything else, it was short.  That’s a very key thing to this match and it made things work a lot better overall.  Henry’s push probably won’t go anywhere (at least I hope not) but a win like this is perfectly fine.

Post match Henry Pillmanizes Show’s leg with a Vader Bomb.  Show goes out on a stretcher saying it’s broken to fill in some time.

Vince is saying this is a nightmare as Josh comes in to ask if Punk has re-signed.  He hasn’t apparently but Vince offered him a huge contract.  Vince talks for a bit and ultimately says if Punk leaves with the title, may God have mercy on Cena’s soul.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne vs. R-Truth vs. Alex Riley vs. The Miz vs. Rey Mysterio

 

Everyone grabs a mini ladder as they come into the ring.  Rey comes out last and gets almost ZERO reaction.  Everyone has a ladder and they surround Del Rio, beating him down rather easily.  Booker picks Evan Bourne which Lawler is surprised at.  Some of the guys are out of the ring now and Swagger is thrown out for the second time.  Truth and Miz have a stand off and duel a bit.

Swagger takes them both out because that’s just smart.  He sets up a ladder but Kofi and Bourne run in at the same time for an attempt to go up.  Now they team up and take out some heels.  Rey gets a rana to take Swagger to the floor again and Truth takes Kofi out.  Riley crotches him on a ladder and is the only one standing.  Miz comes in for the save but all the ladders are too short anyway so it’s not like it matters.

Riley dives over the top and takes out Swagger and Miz in a nice spot.  Truth dives over to take out all three of them.  Kofi and Rey do a double dive to take all of them out.  Bourne goes up and everyone gasps.  SHOOTING STAR PRESS ONTO ALL FIVE GUYS!!!  Bourne goes up a big ladder but Miz makes the save.  Bourne gets a hand on it but so does Miz.  Del Rio pops up and shoves it down as Miz may have hurt his knee.

He landed on it coming down and may have jammed it.  I think it’s worked but it doesn’t look right AT ALL.  This might be legit actually.  Miz is carried out but can’t seem to put any weight on the knee.  I think he might be actually hurt if the visual is any sign of it.  Truth and Del Rio are both climbed over (literally) by Rey and Bourne.  The faces hit stereo ranas to take out the heels.  That looked SWEET.

Swagger is all alone but Kofi is like screw that and jumps over him onto the ladder.  Swagger puts an ankle lock on him instead and Riley tries to steal the case but fails.  Rey vs. Truth at the moment with Rey taking a ladder to the ribs.  He climbs onto a ladder but falls onto it face first.  Kofi goes up and uses a ladder as a step down for a Boom Drop onto Truth.  Booker of course criticizes him for dancing too much.

This match is a lot more choreographed and you can tell it a lot.  Truth messes up a see-saw spot to Swagger.  Good thing Swagger was nice enough to sit there and let Truth do it again.  Rey and Riley slug it out on the ladder but Bourne and Del Rio get ladders of their own.  Down goes Alberto and Rey has his hand on it.  All seven guys are on ladders in what looks like a clothed orgy, which kind of defeats the purpose but you get the idea.

Down goes Del Rio and there goes Jack too.  Bourne is tossed but the other four are all there still.  Truth goes down and Kofi gets a swinging kick to knock Rey off.  He’s all alone but Swagger makes a last second stop.  They both fall and it looked VERY bad as Kofi’s knee landed on Swagger’s throat.  HERE’S MIZ!  He literally hops down the aisle on one leg but Rey stops (to huge booing).

Rey and Del Rio fight a bit but down goes Del Rio.  Never mind as he’s coming back up again.  Briefcase to Alberto’s head but Rey still can’t get it.  REY’S MASK IS OFF!  Everything falls down and Rey has to cover his face.  Alberto goes up as Rey is all terrified.  Alberto is all alone and it’s over.  Didn’t see that one coming.

Rating: B. Good, but nowhere near as good as the SD one.  The spots here were awesome to say the least but the sloppiness hurt it a good bit.  Miz coming back in was great and an awesome false finish.  Rey losing his mask was rather surprising and I’m seriously wondering how badly hurt Swagger is because that didn’t look like a planned fall at all.  Messy but fun, which is about par for the course in MITB to be honest.

You get a relatively clear shot of Rey’s face during the highlight package.

 

We recap Christian vs. Orton, which is more or less Christian can’t beat Orton and turned heel because his initial title loss to him was unfair.  If Orton gets disqualified or if there’s a “bad decision”, Orton loses the title.

Del Rio says he shouldn’t have had to win but this is his destiny.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Randy Orton

 

After some big match intros we’re ready to go.  Christian shows off some nice psychology as he throws a chair in immediately and tries to get Orton to snap.  The chair goes to the floor and Orton takes over with relative ease.  The crowd is totally behind Christian here.  Out to the floor with Orton in control but Christian takes over back inside.  These two have had some very good matches so this should be awesome.

They slug it out a bit with Christian mostly in control.  Orton grabs a rollup for two.  Killswitch doesn’t work and they clothesline each other to the floor.  Back in and Christian jumps over him and blocks an RKO.  Jackknife cover gets two for Randy.  There’s the Thesz Press as the fans aren’t pleased.  Elevated DDT doesn’t work but Christian tries his spinning dive out of the corner, only to jump into a dropkick to the ribs.

Christian takes over again as he’s done a lot in this match.  Top rope headbutt gets two.  Killswitch hits out of almost nowhere but Orton gets out at 2.999.  Even the crowd is into this now.  Christian loads up a spear but he hits the post instead.  Orton puts Christian in that over the shoulder backbreaker into the neckbreaker (LOVE that move) for two.  He sets for the Punt but Christian moves.  Randy settles for the powerslam instead.

There’s the elevated DDT and Christian is in trouble.  Christian spits in Orton’s face to tick him off and Orton goes off on him.  He breaks at three though so it’s not a DQ.  Orton kicks Christian low…and it’s a DQ!  CHRISTIAN WINS THE TITLE!!!  THAT STIPULATION ACTUALLY WORKED!!!

 

Rating: B-. Good match here but not as good as their usual stuff.  I can’t believe that ending actually worked either as I’ve never seen anything like it before.  Granted it’s probably so Bryan can come out and cash in but that is what it is.  Either way this was fine and they continue to have great matches together.

Orton destroys Christian post match, hitting a bunch of RKOs on the table while Teddy tries to calm him down.

Ok if Bryan doesn’t come down now, he’s an idiot.  Apparently he’s an idiot because he’s not here.

We recap Punk vs. Cena.  If you don’t know this, you’re an idiot.  Basically, Punk went on a massive rant against WWE and Cena in a worked shoot.  This is his last night with the company and Vince is involved too.  If Punk leaves with the title, Cena is fired.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk

 

And here we go.  Punk has an epic reaction as he’s the hometown boy.  He even has a new shirt.  The crowd is rabid for Punk.  He sits in the ring and is a total face in the eyes of the crowd.  HUGE CM Punk chant goes up as we wait on Cena.  I seriously worry for Cena’s safety if he wins.  OH MAN that heat is ONS levels.  Punk goes out to be near the crowd for Cena’s entrance.  Total stoic Cena here as everything he does is booed out of the building.

They do big match intros and Punk is as over as free beer.  Here we go.  I’m so fired up for this it’s unreal.  TON of time for this too.  Punk grabs a headlock and the YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chants start up.  We actually do some chain wrestling and Cena is booed out of the building for a snap mare.  They do some obvious spot calling while Cena has a headlock.  Punk tries to fire off a spin kick but Cena ducks.

YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chants start up and Punk points at himself and asks the fans if they mean him.  Punk almost gets an Anaconda Vice but Cena reverses into an armbar.  They’re working slow here but that’s perfectly fine given that they have over 45 minutes if need be.  Jerry tries to make Punk out to be the heel here and it’s just failing completely.  There’s the duel and it’s all CENA SUCKS rather quickly.

Even Cole is against Punk here.  Headlock goes on again as Cena has mostly controlled here, but we’re only like 5 minutes in.  Hip toss by Punk sets up a dropkick and Punk speeds things up a bit.  There’s a headlock of his own and Cena is down.  We reference Montreal because that’s just what we do here in WWE.  Punk does You Can’t See Me to Cena and they both try their finishers but it’s a stalemate.

HUGE CM Punk chant goes up which is par for the course tonight.  Punk goes for the knee and takes over again.  Cena fires back with the bulldog for two.  Off to a front facelock and Punk shakes his finger no.  I’ve never seen as many spots called in a single match.  Cena hits a clothesline and Punk might have lost a tooth.  Off to an arm trap chinlock which is close to a Crossface with Cena on his back.

Punk gets up and suplexes his way out of it for two.  Cena does a Bret Hart chest to the buckle bump which gets two.  All Punk at this point.  Cena gets something going and hits a release fisherman’s suplex for two.  AA is reversed again and Punk gets a quick DDT for two.  Triangle choke goes on Cena and we slow it down again.  It seems like they’re saving energy.  They’ve been at it nearly ten minutes and it’s 10:22 so that’s a very likely scenario.

Cena counters out of it but Punk throws him to the floor.  Punk teases going up but just climbs out instead.  The fans applaud Punk just for picking Cena up.  The fans chant for Colt Cabana and there’s a knee to the back of the neck of Cena while he’s hanging off the apron.  That gets two back in the ring.  Punk charges at Cena but his arm hits the post to buy Cena a few seconds.

And never mind as Punk hits a clothesline for two.  Back to the chinlock as this needs to go a long time since the rest holds are getting a bit boring.  There are actually some Cena chants and Punk comes off the middle rope with a spinning cross body.  Cena might have hurt his knee as he’s going to the apron a bit.  Punk goes after him but can’t suplex him back in.  Cena manages to suplex him to the floor and the fans clap for a bit.

I think the knee was a work as he’s not even holding it at the moment.  Oh wait yes he is.  That was more or less an FU off the apron.  Back in the ring that gets two as he’s rubbing the knee now.  He can stand on it and hits another release fisherman’s.  Elbow drop gets two.  Cena sets for what looks like a powerslam but flips Punk forward into a sitout slam for two.

It’s only 10:30 and they’ve been going at it over 15 minutes.  The knee looks fine.  It’s boo/yay time and the yays are winning it.  We go WAY old school with an abdominal stretch.  HE EVEN HOOKS THE LEG PROPERLY!  Punk hip tosses out of it and it’s a double clothesline to put them both down.  Cena up first and he initiates the ending sequence.  The Protobomb is reversed though and Punk gets the loudest reaction for a rollup you’ll ever here.

Protobomb hits this time but You Can’t See Me results in a kick to the head.  Suicide dive takes Cena down and the fans erupt again.  Punk high fives a fan while he’s still on the ground in a cool moment.  Punk misses a cross body and now he Can’t See Cena.  Five Knuckle Shuffle hits at about 20 minutes.  AA is countered and Punk uses his martial arts for two.

Punk is looking towards the entrance and smiles for no apparent reason.  GTS is loaded up but Cena counters into a gutwrench suplex for two.  Punk fights back with some knees to the jaw and a bulldog.  Springboard clothesline gets two and the fans are still totally into this.  The replay shows how sweet those knees were.  Out of nowhere Cena grabs the STF and Punk is in trouble!  Oh of course he makes the rope but it takes awhile for him to get there.

As Cena goes for Punk again he gets caught in the side of the head with a big old kick for two.  Cena rolls through a cross body but the AA is countered into the GTS but Cena grabs the leg and the STF is back on again!  Punk can’t make the ropes but Cena pulls him back to the middle again.  Cole says it’s a matter of time and he’s right.  It’ll just be multiple more minutes because Punk manages to counter from the mat into the Anaconda Vice.  SWEET!

Cena gets back up there’s the AA for TWO.  This is getting awesome as they used the slow build.  I’m glued to my screen which hasn’t happened since a few years ago with Taker vs. Shawn.  Top rope legdrop is countered via something like a powerbomb for two.  Punk almost Hulks Up and says it’s time to Go To Sleep.  He loads it up but Cena grabs the rope and clotheslines him on it.

The top rope legdrop hits this time but it only gets two.  These kickouts are incredible.  They’re not going to end the match but they’ve built it up so well and the audience being so into them is making up the difference.  Cena is getting his 19^th wind and looks like he wants the AA.  It hits clean again and PUNK KICKS OUT.  Cena tries an AA off the middle rope but Punk fights out of it.

He manages to get a top rope hurricanrana but Cena goes to the corner to escape.  Corner knee sets up the GTS and Cole is scared to death.  The knee only hits the ribs and Cena manages to fall out of the ring instead of being in pinning position.  And here’s Vince with Johnny Ace.  The distraction lets Cena get the STF and Vince sends Johnny Ace to ring the bell.  Cena hits the floor and blasts Ace, saying he doesn’t want it that way.  Vince and Cena have a staredown in the aisle and Cena says it’s my way.  He charges back into the ring and there’s the GTS and PUNK WINS!

Rating: A+. Excellent match as I’m sure you got here as the whole thing came off as completely epic.  Cena almost had to lose here due to the sake of his own safety.  Vince screwing himself over is a great thing because that’s how it had to be.  Great stuff here and the show ending with Punk being as popular as anyone imaginable is excellent.  Awesome stuff here and an awesome show.

Vince jumps on commentary and says to kill the music.  He wants Alberto out here NOW to cash in.  Alberto runs out and Punk kicks him in the head almost immediately to take him down.  Punk goes into the crowd and that’s probably the safest place in the world for him.  The bell didn’t ring and Del Rio never cashed in officially.

Overall Rating: A. Well that was incredible.  From top to bottom this was great stuff and nothing was bad on it at all.  Even the Divas had looks going for them so you can’t complain there.  Great stuff overall and a shocking ending, which was exactly what this needed.  Zero complaints and it more than lived up to the hype.  Can’t wait for tomorrow now, which is the whole point of the show.  Loved it.

 

Results

Daniel Bryan won the Smackdown Money in the Bank Briefcase

Kelly Kelly b. Brie Bella – K2

Mark Henry b. Big Show – Splash

Alberto Del Rio won the Raw Money in the Bank Briefcase

Christian b. Randy Orton via DQ – Orton kicks Christian low

CM Punk b. John Cena – GTS

I’ll get used to putting these up eventually.

Anyway we have four major matches tomorrow night:

Raw MITB

SD MITB

Christian vs. Orton

Punk vs. Cena

Your thoughts?

As for mine:

I’m going to go with Cena retaining by pin, Rey as a total in the dark pick, Orton to retain and I guess Cody to win MITB.  I have very little confidence there though so that is what it is.

Thoughts?

Smackdown
Date: July 15, 2011
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Uncasville, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

It’s the final show before Money in the Bank and everything is pretty much set in stone at this point.  The MITB match itself is a pretty open field but I’d look for Sheamus, Barrett or Rhodes to win it (what a limb I’m going out on with those picks).  Probably just some last minute pushes for the show here as expected.  Let’s get to it.

Do you know your enemy?  Mine is a bad internet connection.  And popcorn costing $7 at a theater.

Orton vs. Kane tonight.

DiBiase gets a shot at Jackson too.

Josh is in the ring and brings out the dude that hears voices in his head.  Orton says he won’t get disqualified and that he thinks this is a cheap attempt by Christian to try to steal the title.  Christian pops up on screen and says that clause was his lawyers’ idea.  He has a gift for Orton which is a portrait of Christian standing over Orton with the title.  Orton says that isn’t going to work to make him mad.

Christian starts talking about Orton’s family, namely Bob Orton Jr., who was only a glorified sidekick.  His dad is in the Hall of Fame in the wing with guys like Drew Carey and the other cheap jokes.  He’s in the HOF to keep Randy happy.  Orton says come say that to his face, which Christian says he’ll do once he wins the title on Sunday.  He calls Orton pathetic and Orton calls Christian a pathetic excuse for a man and a superstar.  After Sunday, Christian will be exposed as a flash in the pan that needed Edge to help him win the title for five days.  Simple segment but the emotion was there.

Video on Show vs. Henry which I think is the same one from Raw.  They face off tonight.  Not a match, just a face off.

Intercontinental Title: Ezekiel Jackson vs. Ted DiBiase

 

New ring announcer tonight who looks a bit better in a blue dress than Chimmel does.  DiBiase hits Jackson and that doesn’t go well for him.  Out to the floor as Booker rambles about his Fave Five as is his custom.  Jackson is rammed into the post which gets two in the ring.  Cody is watching and the referee, the former Nunzio, is really loud here.

DiBiase takes over and throws on a chinlock.  The following clothesline is countered by Jackson.  How has no one else ever countered that?  Apparently Ted has blown all of his money and it’s implied that it was on Maryse.  Here come the slams but DiBiase counters into a Dream Street attempt but Jackson shrugs it off and slams Ted again.  Rack doesn’t work but the second attempt does with the submission coming at 3:45.

Rating: C. See, this is what Jackson needs more of: wins where he gets in some trouble but eventually uses the power game to make his comeback and set up his finishing stuff.  Nothing fancy here and it worked just fine.  Also helps when he actually, you know, wins his matches instead of losing them.

Most of the MITB people are in matches later.

Ted is in the back and Cody says he’ll bag him if Ted loses again.

Daniel Bryan vs. Cody Rhodes

 

We get a quick recap video of this feud during the introductions.  It’s almost shot like its from the mind of a crazy person so it looks really cool.  Ok make that a long one.  Bryan hammers him into the corner to start us off and he escapes an Alabama Slam attempt.  LeBell Lock doesn’t work and Cole puts a bag on and imitates Booker.  Ok that was kind of funny.

Rhodes takes over for a bit but Bryan sends him to the floor and takes over with a dive.  We take a break and come back in the ring with Cody in control.  Cody throws on a half crab which doesn’t last long.  Like you can put a submission on Bryan.  Cody works over the ribs as the fans keep coming in and out of this one.  Booker gets asked about being in a MITB match and somehow he starts talking about Daniel Bryan.  Apparently it’s too brutal to talk about.  I give up.

Anyway it’s back to the half crab as the announcers totally ignore the match other than Josh when he can get a word in edgewise.  Bryan fires back with some forearms and a leg lariat/running kick for two.  Some light Cody chants start up.  Not we’re talking about Booker being a drum major.  Alabama Slam gets two and the commentary is really starting to get old.  Talk about MITB or ANYTHING of importance, but drop the bickering.

Cody tries Cross Rhodes but Bryan climbs the ropes to get behind Cody.  Bryan gets put on the top but kicks Cody away and manages to grab the LeBell Lock while on the ropes.  That gets broken up of course so Bryan settles for the missile dropkick for a long two.  Running dropkick in the corner puts Cody down again.  They both go up and Bryan gets crotched badly.  That positioning allows the Beautiful Disaster to end this at 7:29 shown of 10:59.

Rating: B. I liked this one a lot actually.  Cody can be really good when he gets some time and Bryan of course is capable of having a good match with anyone.  This has been a pretty solid mini feud and I’d like to see it get a title involved.  Good stuff here and a rather fun TV match indeed.

Teddy is on the phone talking about getting protection or something.  A referee comes in and Teddy tells him that if there’s any physicality in the Big Show/Mark Henry showdown, their PPV match is off.  The referee leaves and Teddy talks about gambling a lot.  This seems to be a running theme with him.  Kane comes in to thank Teddy for giving him a match with Orton as he requested.  Kane isn’t happy because he’s starting to feel human instead of like a monster.  Teddy says if it makes him feel any better, he’s scaring Teddy right now.  Kane says if Teddy was really scared, Teddy wouldn’t be able to tell him.

Jinder and Khali are in a photo shoot and Jinder isn’t happy with the photographer paying attention to Khali.  They both yell at him and that’s about it.

Christian is looking at Orton’s bus and there’s spray paint on the side talking about Christian being the uncrowned champion.  He says he’ll find out who did this.

Sheamus vs. Sin Cara

 

This should be interesting.  Wade Barrett is on commentary here.  The match starts after a break.  Cara takes over to start with his high flying stuff.  Barrett admits that the Corre was a disaster.  Sheamus can’t get anything going as Cara gets an armdrag out of the corner.  And let’s talk about the Fave Five because it’s been a full 4 minutes since we did.  Apparently Booker sees some of himself in Sheamus.  Uh….ok?

We talk about the drum major stuff as it’s kind of interesting to see how long they can go without actually talking about the match.  Barrett is talking about how he’s going to win as Sheamus gets a running knee lift while Cara is draped in the ropes.  Off to a cravate as we’re probably two minutes without talking about the match now.  Now let’s look at Booker and Barrett talking because the match isn’t important I guess.

Josh finally mentions Cara being grounded here, which apparently has NEVER happened to him before.  Honestly, is there something in the water in the announcers’ water cooler?  Cara sends him to the floor and Sheamus may have hurt his knee.  Back in Sheamus catches Cara in a dive and hits a fallaway slam for no cover.  He loads up the High Cross but Cara counters into a rana for the surprise pin at 6:00.

Rating: C+. Not a great match but by far and away Cara’s biggest win to date in WWE.  I’m rather surprised that they would have Sheamus lose here but it looked like a fluke win which is probably the best way to have it happen.  It doesn’t really hurt Sheamus as he had Cara beaten but took too much time to end him, which is good for both guys.

Barrett takes Sheamus down post match and hits Wasteland.  He looks weird in a collared shirt and slacks.

Christian is in the casino with a wallet.  Naturally it belongs to Orton and it’s time to gamble with the $1000 he finds in there.  He says Orton is going to need the money for anger management and his daughter’s college.  Christian puts it all on 1 in a game of roulette and loses it of course.  Christian says Orton’s luck just ran out.  I liked this as it was something outside of the ordinary which you hardly ever see anymore in promos.  Just having something different in the background makes it more interesting.

Time for the showdown which is just the two big guys talking.  Teddy moderates it for lack of a better term.  Henry isn’t going to come farther from the stage though because he can’t hold his temper well enough apparently.  They talk about pain and how it’s Show’s problem apparently.

Show says everyone has been waiting for Henry to wake up and Show finally did it.  Henry asks if Show thinks bigger is better.  Without waiting for an answer, he says stronger and meaner are better.  Both guys say the other has no idea what they’re capable of.  Teddy has to stop a fight and says we’ll see who wins Sunday.  I still don’t get the appeal of this feud.  Scratch that.  I get the appeal, but I just don’t care about Mark Henry at all.

Rosa Mendes vs. Kelly Kelly

 

Non title here.  I have absolutely no idea what to talk about here.  Match is over and there’s just nothing to say.  Kelly wins with the K2 at 1:49.  The majority of the match was spent talking about jobs Rosa has had.  Nothing else to say at all.  Oh and Alicia was at ringside and did nothing at all.

Johnny Curtis pulls an elephant out of a bag which is supposed to be a cat.  Apparently it’s the big elephant in the room.  They’re really running out of ideas aren’t they?

Justin Gabriel vs. Heath Slater

 

Both guys have their own music now.  Slater says he’s tired of being held back and that he’ll show he’s better tonight.  Nice technical stuff to start as they know each other really well.  The crowd doesn’t seem to care at all but you can’t have everything I guess.  Gabriel starts fighting back but can’t hit the 450.  Cole runs his mouth some more as Slater misses a moonsault.  The 450 hits and we’re done at 2:52.  Well Slater looks like nothing now.

Video on Punk vs. Cena, which is the same from NXT.

Randy Orton vs. Kane

 

For some reason I’ve wanted to see a proper feud between these two for years.  Just seems like it would be good.  Orton hammers away to start which doesn’t really work.  Christian is on the stage.  Kane hammers away as he is known to do.  The clothesline hits and he calls for the chokeslam about 75 seconds into this.  Orton counters with right hands but he can’t take Kane down.  He manages to get the powerslam and the elevated DDT.  RKO is countered and Orton sees Christian, allowing Kane to send him to the floor.  Christian throws a drink at Randy and runs into the crowd.  It’s enough for the count out at 2:58 though.

Orton chases after Christian and gets him near Kane and the beatdown is on.  Kane doesn’t like Christian though and chases him off.  Orton pops up and hits the RKO on Kane but Christian hits a spear and pounds on Randy.  Christian gets a chair but Orton gets it away from him as the Canadian runs.  Kane takes a chair shot.  Make that a lot of them.  Orton goes all bugged eyed on Christian to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. Good show but it was a step behind what the others have been recently.  That being said, they had some good matches and a story going throughout the show.  Also they had some nice build for the PPV so maybe it wasn’t all that bad of a show.  It’s not as good as some others they’ve done, but still for a go home show, this was really pretty good.

Results

Ezekiel Jackson b. Ted DiBiase – Torture Rack

Cody Rhodes b. Daniel Bryan – Beautiful Disaster

Sin Cara b. Sheamus – Hurricanrana into a pin

Kelly Kelly b. Rosa Mendes – K2

Justin Gabriel b. Heath Slater – 450 Splash

Kane b. Randy Orton via countout

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 11, 2011
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for MITB and things should be rather interesting here.  It’s probably going to be either Punk’s last or next to last Raw so the talking could be great.  With Vince being around now there’s a chance he might pop up too.  Also we’ll get some build for the MITB match itself.  The interesting thing though is that the guys just got back from Australia so they’re likely going to be tired from the flight.  Let’s get to it.

Here’s Punk to open the show with a bullhorn.  He also grabs a headset and says something to the producer on it that we can’t here.  Punk sits in the ring and asks if he has everyone’s attention now.  He says recapping is in order in case you didn’t watch, which he didn’t because he wasn’t on, so last week he was suspended for what he said a few weeks ago.  Punk sums it up by saying he gets in trouble for saying things that no one else has the balls to say.

He demonstrates the bullhorn in case the mic is cut off.  The fans are totally behind him here and there’s a loud CM PUNK chant.  He says he’s here because Vince wants to sign him to a very long and lucrative contract to WWE.  Oddly enough all he’s ever wanted is a microphone.  I think you can buy one for like 12 bucks at Wal-Mart dude.  Punk says he’s been doing what Vince has wanted to do for years: making the WWE relevant in the real world.

That has only happened twice apparently: when Punk talks and when someone dies (no names mentioned).  Everyone from ESPN to E is calling him for his story.  Punk finds it funny that only now is Vince begging him to stay.  If Vince had treated him like this for the last five years, there wouldn’t be so much ammo built up for him to use.  Punk wants a live contract negotiating tonight in which Vince might have to join Punk’s version of Vince’s old kissing club.

Cue Cena who says cut the music.  Punk thanks him for getting him a job back that he didn’t even want.  He says he’s going to change the look of the title when he wins it because it’s been far too ugly for far too long.  Punk points out that Cena isn’t going to be fire because he was once before and it lasted like a week.  Cena: “You done?”  Punk: “Probably not but would you like to say something?”

Cena says that Punk has been talking about how he’s walking out of Chicago with the title and there’s nothing that can stop him.  Cena is no pushover though and now let’s talk about the word wrestler.  People have said for years that Punk is great and that Cena is what the company thinks is great.  Everyone has said that Punk is great over the years and a lot of names are mentioned including Eddie and Angle.  We’ll see how great they both are on Sunday.  A GM E-Mail says Vince is on the way and Cena is in action next.

John Cena vs. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty

 

Cena vs. McGillicutty to start and Cena treats the champions like the jobbers they are, sending him to the floor as we take a quick break.  Back with Cena in a chinlock, apparently due to interference from Otunga.  STF attempt doesn’t work and it’s off to Otunga.  The match is completely boring as the announcers rant about how important the title is.  You know, that belt that they made a second version of at the drop of a hat.

Cena takes Otunga down and it’s off to McGillicutty who gets dominated.  You Can’t See Me and there’s the Shuffle.  AA is broken up by Otunga and they hit an atomic drop/dropkick combination for two.  Superplex by McGillicutty is blocked and there’s the top rope Fameasser to set up the STF but Otunga makes the save again.  Well at least it hasn’t been total Cena dominance.  And never mind as the AA ends McGillicutty at 9:56.

Rating: C-. Pretty boring match here but then again the Nexus are very boring to put it mildly.  I really don’t mind the champions losing again because it’s not like they’ve been built up in the slightest anyway.  Not sure why the GM would give Cena a seemingly hard match like that but maybe Punk will get one too.

Video on Henry being all dominant and evil lately.

Vickie is coaching Dolph on how to talk to Vince tonight.  The US Title needs to be the premiere title apparently so Punk and Cena need to be fired.  Vickie imitates Vince before Drew pops up and imitates him.  Dolph makes fun of “Vince” and they all make fun of his breath.  Vickie snorts when she laughs and Vince pops up behind them (big pop).  Tonight they’ll be in a handicap match against Big Show.  They leave and Vince is asks for a message for the people.  He doesn’t want to talk to the people right now.

Kelly Kelly vs. Melina

 

The Bellas are on commentary.  Jerry gets on Cole for saying there’s a way to tell the Bellas apart which they say doesn’t exist.  Kelly is in trouble early but takes over, uses a Stinkface for no apparent reason and hits the K2 to retain at 1:45.  Total nothing match.

Post match the Bellas say Kelly is way to skinny and wears way too much makeup.  They beat her down and Eve comes out for the save.  The Bellas leave her laying.

Quick recap of Miz destroying Riley after losing to him last week.

Here’s Miz and there are ladders everywhere.  He climbs up to the top of one underneath the MITB case.  He knows what it means to win the case and be world champion.  He’s taken that path before and since he’s the future, he’ll do it again.  Miz says he’s used to being above everyone else because he’s the best.  Cue Swagger who points out that he’s won the case and the title before.  Miz: “If someone cashed in MITB and no one remembers it, did it really happen?”

Cue Bourne who says he’s tired of hearing about what they’ve done so he’s going to talk about what he’ll do Sunday.  Bourne gets a running start and slides into the ring feet first with no hands.  Here’s Kofi who says the exact same thing that everyone else in the match is going to come out and say.  He talks about Edge getting hurt in these matches or something like that.  Truth comes out and talks about beating Cena recently.  He’s afraid of heights too, and there better not be any spiders on the ladder because he’s afraid of them too.  If he opens that case and there’s a spider, the grits will hit the pan.

Here’s Riley because six promos about one match isn’t enough.  He comes out at a spring and Miz runs.  Here’s Alberto in a Mercedes.  He got rid of Rey and now has to do all this all over again.  Oh and something about destiny.  An E-Mail makes a six man that starts right now.

The Miz/Jack Swagger/R-Truth vs. Alex Riley/Evan Bourne/Kofi Kingston

 

No Alberto or Rey here.  Back with the match already in progress with Bourne vs. Swagger.  Off to Miz as Cole talks about how awesome Miz is.  Everyone beats down Bourne for a bit with Truth in the ring at the moment.  Bourne gets a knee to the face and it’s hot tag to Kofi.  He comes in off a springboard and starts jumping all over the place.  Boom Drop to Truth.  He loads up Trouble in Paradise but stops to hit Swagger.

There’s the springboard cross body to Truth but Miz saves.  Truth knocks him to the floor as we take a break.  Back with Kofi getting beaten down by Miz.  Off to Truth who gets a two count.  Kofi manages to get a double DDT to Truth and Swagger and tags Morrison.  He hits a bunch of stuff on Swagger and beats on Miz a bit because he can.  Everything breaks down and Riley hits the inverted DDT on Swagger for the pin at 10:45 total.

Rating: C. Just an average match here with nothing of note going on.  You get almost the same match every year and it’s really not all that interesting.  Not a bad match or anything but really just kind of there.  They need to go with six people in the match instead of 8 as there are just too many of them that way.  Not bad, but the same stuff we always see out of these.

Everyone hits their finishers post match until Alberto comes out and destroys everyone with the ladder, including throwing it at Miz’s arm.  Bourne was holding his ankle too.

We recap the ending of Raw last week with Vince and Cena talking about everything involving Punk.   If Cena loses at the PPV he’s fired.

McIntyre/Ziggler vs. Show up next.

Drew McIntyre/Dolph Ziggler vs. Big Show

 

Show is all mad here.  Ziggler starts and looks at Show.  He tags out immediately so Show beats them both up.  Show dominates Drew as Ziggler hides.  Drew tries to leave and gets mauled by Show.  McIntyre gets thrown up the stage and it’s a countout at 2:00.

Show sets to chokeslam McIntyre off the stage but Henry comes out of nowhere and tackles both of them off the stage.  Henry goes flying also.  Drew just kind of disappears.

Henry doesn’t want help to the back.

We get a clip of Alberto destroying everyone earlier, setting up a long highlight video on MITB matches.

We run down the card for the PPV.

Punk and Vince are up next.

Vince comes out three times because the reaction isn’t strong enough for him.  No handshake for Cole.  He shakes hand with someone at ringside that is either famous or really lucky.  There’s a table and a red carpet in the ring.  He doesn’t want to negotiate in person but he’ll do it here.  He wants to get this over with so get out here.  Punk imitates Vince’s walk as is required by WWE law.

Vince’s chair falls down as he sits in it.  The contract has the provision for a Punk collector’s cup in it apparently.  Punk talks about how this contract proves that Vince has no faith in Cena.  Vince says he couldn’t live with himself if Punk somehow wins the title on Sunday.  He actually calls Punk Phil.  Punk doesn’t like the contract that’s made up so he had his lawyers make a new one.  Punk has already signed this one.

One of the provisions is he gets to push Vince.  Apparently Punk wants respect or he’s leaving with the title.  Apparently that wasn’t a provision.  The first is that he wants a jet.  As in a new one, not Vince’s because that one smells.  Punk wants his face on the Tron, the buckles, spoons, knives, forks, cups, everything.  HE WANTS THE ICE CREAM BARS BACK!!!  Punk is officially better than everyone.  That actually gets a HUGE reaction.

He wants CM Punk The Movie.  You can even call it the Chaperone II, although his will be funny and successful.  Oh and the main event of Wrestlemania will be Punk vs. whomever he’s against.  The last major perk is that he wants an apology for the suspension and for Vince being a huge hypocrite.  As far as the anti-bullying campaign goes, Vince is one of the biggest bullies Punk has ever met.  The fans are eating up every word Punk says.

Punk says his friends have worked here and they have been fired.  Vince says they deserved to be fired and Punk says that Vince is out of touch for firing people like Luke Gallows and Colt Cabana.  Vince doesn’t want to apologize so Punk throws the table over.  The fans want something that was either ice cream or wrestling.  Vince doesn’t care what the people want and Punk says that’s the point.

The fans want an apology right now and Vince actually says he’s sorry.  The fans chant for Colt Cabana as Vince picks up the contract to sign it.  Here’s Cena though who points out that even though the fans are cheering for him now, Punk is walking out on them Sunday.  Cena calls him a terrorist and says they’re both like kids.  Cena says he hates Vince too and makes stupid jokes.

Now we get to the awesome stuff.  Cena tells Punk that he’s lost sight of what got him here.  Punk talks about how at Wrestlemania 23 he was riding on the side of Cena’s car with a Tommy gun, saying that he promised himself that one day he would be in the ring with Cena instead of watching him.  Boston prides itself on being the underdog but now Cena is the WWE Champion and has become exactly what he hates.  Now he and Vince are the New York Yankees.  Cena drills him and Punk bails.  Apparently the man Vince shook hands with was Cena’s dad.

Punk sits on the stage and says that illustrates why he wants to leave.  He’s tired of all this and he’s leaving on Sunday.  Say goodbye to the WWE Title, say goodbye to John Cena and say goodbye to CM Punk.  He tears up the contract and does You Can’t See Me to end this.  The ending segment ran a bit too long and it hurt things.

Overall Rating: C+. Well the wrestling was pretty awful but the show got pushed very hard tonight.  The Raw side is built on two matches and those were pushed very hard indeed.  Anything else that happens at the PPV will be bonus material so it’s hard to complain about the lack of wrestling.  Ok no it isn’t but it’s more forgivable here.  Not a great show but for a go home show for this particular PPV, this was fine.

Results

John Cena b. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty – AA to McGillicutty

Kelly Kelly b. Melina – K2

Evan Bourne/Alex Riley/Kofi Kingston b. The Miz/R-Truth/Jack Swagger – Inverted DDT to Swagger

Big Show vs. Dolph Ziggler/Drew McIntyre went to a double countout

 

Smackdown
Date: July 8, 2011
Location: Tucson Arena, Tucson, Arizona
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Booker T, Michael Cole

 

 

This was taped last week but for Smackdown that’s not going to change anything from the norm. Tonight we get some fallout from last week with Sheamus interjecting himself into the main event scene to end the show. Other than that we’ll probably be building up to Money in the Bank with some more stuff between the ladder match guys. Let’s get to it.

 

 

We open with a recap of the ending of last week’s show where Orton signed the contract but before Christian did, Sheamus returned and beat both guys up and ripped up the contract.

 

 

Do you know your enemy? Mine is a really bad sunburn.

 

 

Most of the MITB guys are in the ring but I only see seven right now. Sheamus is missing I believe. Everyone gets to say something. Bryan says he’s excited and nervous because he’s wanted to be world champion since he was a little kid. Cody cuts him off and says it’s because Bryan is a common man incapable of the things exceptional people do. Cody is one of those exceptional people. Once he wins the title everyone will have to swallow their pride and look him in the eye.

 

 

Barrett says he’s tired of hearing about what everyone else has done. He starts listing off his accomplishments but here’s Sheamus with a chair. He cracks almost everyone with it and clears the ring. Sheamus says he’ll win and cash in on Orton when he beats Christian. He’s going to get Orton tonight though, because of getting punted last month. Here’s Christian who asks if Sheamus thinks he can’t beat Orton. Sheamus calls him a scrawny, malnourished, googly eyed homely weasel.

 

 

Christian points out that he beat Sheamus a few weeks ago before Orton punted Sheamus. He’ll also be world champion after MITB. There’s a clause in the contract, saying that if Orton gets disqualified or if there’s bad officiating, Christian is automatically world champion. Christian calls him Ronald McDonald and asks if he can even read a contract. Sheamus throws the chair at him and here’s Teddy. Orton vs. Sheamus is the main event. Really solid opening segment here as Sheamus looked fired up and intimidating. I’m liking this three way feud a lot and they’re running it perfectly.

 

 

Clip of the first MITB match with Edge winning and cashing in about 9 months later.

 

 

Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase vs. Daniel Bryan/Ezekiel Jackson

 

 

Booker gets a bag again. DiBiase and Bryan start us off with DiBiase not being able to do much. Off to Jackson who is part of the Fave Five of Booker. We actually get the full list: McIntyre, Jackson, Sheamus, Barrett, Cara and a dark horse in Ryder. The good guys clear the ring and send Cody to the floor as we take a break. Back with Bryan firing off kicks to Cody in the corner.

 

 

Cody avoids a charge in the corner and backdrops Bryan onto the corner and catches him in an Alabama Slam for two. It’s off to DiBiase who keeps the advantage and hits a chinlock. Back off to Cody who uses his old school style to dominate even more. DiBiase chokes some more. Cole picks Wade Barrett to win MITB. Bryan gets a boot up in the corner and Josh picks Sin Cara, the same as Booker. Hot tag to Big Zeke who gets a nice reaction. He starts slamming people and Racks DiBiase but it’s broken up by a Beautiful Disaster and Dream Street gets the pin at 6:45 shown of 10:15.

 

 

Rating: C+. Pretty basic tag match here but for the love of all things good and holy Vince, why do you think midcard champions always have to lose? He won the title and then beat Barrett a second time and now he’s lost to Rhodes (not that bad) and then to DiBiase. Why in the world would that be something they’d think is smart? I don’t get why midcard champions are booked into the ground so often anymore but it’s getting annoying.

 

 

Video on Mark Henry and his domination as of late.

 

 

Striker tells Henry he’s facing potential fines, suspensions and criminal charges after what he did last week. Henry breathes a lot.

 

 

Jinder Mahal vs. Trent Barreta

 

 

During Mahal’s entrance we hear about some empire he’s built up and we don’t hear anything about his wife/Khali’s sister. Are they already changing the story? Anyway Khali sits in on commentary (you read that right) and actually speaks some English now. Total squash in the ring and the full nelson slam ends it at 1:04. The camera was on Khali more than the match. Post match Cole mentions the story we got last week.

 

 

Sheamus says his recent rampage is an Irish thing.

 

 

AJ vs. Tamina

 

 

Cole: “Hopefully this doesn’t put me to sleep like a Harlem Heat match.” Josh: “Tell me you didn’t just say that.” AJ has different hair now as it’s a bit lighter and a bit wavier. Natalya and Alicia are at ringside. Cole bashes Natalya for most of the match as Tamina dominates with an Umaga hip smash to the face. Off to a chinlock which doesn’t last long. AJ fights back and hits a Shining Wizard for two. Tamina misses a splash in the corner and AJ gets a rollup for the pin at 2:28.

 

 

Alicia yells at Tamina post match.

 

 

Mark Henry vs. Kane

 

 

Kane looks terrified but hammers away to start. Henry runs him over but Kane gets three dropkicks, two to the knees and a seated one to the chest, for two. Top rope clothesline is caught in a belly to belly for two. Henry stands on the chest for a bit and Kane is in trouble. The big fried freak fires off a right hand and the crowd is surprisingly into this. Big boot puts Henry down for two.

 

 

Kane goes up again and this time the clothesline hits. He loads up the chokeslam but Henry breaks out of it and headbutts Kane. A second attempt at the chokeslam hits but Henry gets his foot on the ropes. Out to the floor and Kane tries a chokeslam through the table but Henry breaks it up, ramming Kane into the post. Back inside a splash gets two. Mark is all ticked off now and the World’s Strongest Slam gets the pin at 5:52.

 

 

Rating: C. For a battle of the big men this was fine. They kept it relatively short which is the right idea for sure. If they want Henry to be taken as a big threat, this is the kind of win he needs. Kane is still someone with credibility and Henry beating him clean by just overpowering him is a good thing for him. I still don’t get the appeal or point of pushing Henry but it’s his every other year push so it’s to be expected.

 

 

Henry yells at the announcers post match.

 

 

Orton says he doesn’t care what the contract says because he’s going to win with the RKO. As for Sheamus, he’ll have to defend the title against him eventually but as for tonight, good luck to him.

 

 

Video of Miz winning MITB last year.

 

 

Tyson Kidd vs. Sin Cara

 

 

There go the lights again. Kidd grabs an armbar to take him down almost immediately. Cara speeds things up and hits an armdrag to send Kidd to the floor. Cara tries a dive or something similar to one, only to get his head slammed into the apron. Back inside Cara hits a slingshot corkscrew splash for two. Off to a chinlock by Kidd as the fans chant for Cara. Kidd keeps countering Cara’s moves and it’s working pretty well. He tries a springboard elbow but Cara gets the knees up to block it.

 

 

Cole says his name would be Billy the Kid if he was a superstar. Booker and Josh are quiet for a bit and then laugh at him. Cara starts his comeback and gets a victory roll into a sunset flip for two. Kidd kicks him down and goes up, only to get dropped onto the buckle. They go up again and the C4 off the top ends this at 4:16.

 

 

Rating: B-. Pretty good stuff here as I didn’t notice any botches which is a change for Cara. Granted they may have been edited out but that’s the perk of a taped show. Anyway not bad here and Cara is starting to get better slowly but surely as he’s having more coherent matches rather than just doing random spots. Good stuff.

 

 

Teddy is asked if he’s intimidated by Henry and won’t answeron.

 

 

Video on Ezekiel Jackson.

 

 

Usos vs. Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater

 

 

The matches are good but we’ve seen this how many times now? The Usos do their dance thing on the way to the ring. Jey has a tattoo on his chest apparently so he starts us off with Gabriel. Slater comes in rather quickly and takes Jey down as the crowd is more or less silent. Booker talks about the Fave Five again and it’s already annoying. Gabriel comes in and gets two before hitting a headlock. After some silence on commentary, Booker randomly says that no one likes Cole.

 

 

Double big boot puts both guys down as Jimmy tries to get the crowd back to life. It’s not really working but points for trying at least. Off to Jimmy vs. Slater with Jimmy being labeled as the powerhouse. Bubba Bomb puts Slater down as Booker says they both need gain another hundred pounds or so. Samoan Drop gets two on Slater. Slater manages to take him down with something like a Zig Zag and it’s off to Gabriel. He wants the 450 but Slater gets kicked into the ropes to crotch Justin. We get Power and Glory’s old finisher (superplex/top rope splash combo) to end Gabriel at 3:32.

 

 

Rating: C+. Another fine match but again, we’ve seen this how many times now? The teased tension between the former Nexus/Corre is what you would expect as they’ve been a successful team long enough so it’s time to split them in a feud that not many people want to see. Anyway this was fine and it’s cool to see the Usos have an actual finisher.

 

 

Johnny Curtis is at a table with a bunch of birthday stuff on it. He takes the cake. Debut him already and get it over with.

 

 

We get an abbreviated version of Cena and Vince from Raw.

 

 

We run down the MITB card. Henry vs. Show is official.

 

 

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

 

 

Christian vs. Orton has been signed apparently and the Canadian is on commentary here. Orton fires away in the corner and Sheamus is in trouble. Pretty basic back and forth stuff here as Orton counters some Sheamus offense with a dropkick. He loads up the punt but Sheamus hits the floor. Back in Orton hits his way too enthusiastic Thesz Press and they slug it out to the floor.

 

 

Orton gets reversed into the railing and part of the wall falls down. Elevated DDT is blocked and Orton goes shoulder first into the post and back out to the floor. Christian goes after Orton but Sheamus stops him. Orton goes into the post again as we take a break. Back with Sheamus hitting a DDT to the arm for two. Orton makes a brief comeback but takes a knee to the ribs to put him right back down.

 

 

Randy makes his comeback and uses his regular stuff including the scoop powerslam. He adds something new to the arsenal with a belly to belly suplex for two. Sheamus gets a kick to the knee and pulls himself up to the top for a shoulder block for two. Irish Curse gets two. Brogue Kick and RKO are countered and Orton hits the backbreaker. Not that it matters as Christian comes in for the DQ at 8:24 shown of 11:54, giving Orton the win.

 

 

Rating: B-. Not a great match or anything but compared to the stuff these two were putting on in 2010, their recent stuff has been a miracle. I was thinking Sheamus would win MITB and then cash in at the end of the night but now I’m not so sure. Either way, not a bad match here and fine for a TV main event.

 

 

Post match Sheamus lays out Christian but walks into an RKO to leave Orton standing tall to close the show.

 

 

Overall Rating: B. While a step down from last week this was still good stuff. The key thing to Smackdown is they don’t waste time. Everything they do is either advancing a story, in ring action or promoting one of their wrestlers. This show was no exception as everything on here had a point, which is rare in today’s wrestling product. Anyway good show but not as good as last week.

 

 

NXT
Date: July 5, 2011
Location: Tucson Arena, Tucson, Arizona
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal

We’re at episode 18 here and I’m truly starting to wonder something.  I’ll be at the Smackdown/NXT tapings on August 2 and I’m honestly not sure if the new season will have started yet.  This is already the longest season of the show so far and now all of a sudden we have three finalists instead of two.  This could go on for awhile.  Let’s get to it.

We recap the eliminations this season and the return of Derrick Bateman and his pro Daniel Bryan from last week.  I still don’t get how this is fair or really needed.

Striker and Maryse bring out the rookies and pros.  We go over the Redemption Points with Bateman of course in third place.  Time for the Talk the Talk Challenge with the topic of why should you win.  Young talks about how unfair it is to put Bateman back in after Young has spent 17 weeks working to get here and now without a pro.

Titus says he’s dominated the competition all over and actually makes it rain redemption points.  That was kind of funny.  Bateman says O’Neil said his football team is better than the local one.  Bateman says he and Bryan are the best things to happen to the internet since kitten videos.  He gets booed loudly and Titus wins, further proving that these Redemption Points are totally pointless.

We get a quick recap of Yoshi freaking over the broken action figure last week.  Can’t say they’re repeating stuff with that one.

Yoshi Tatsu vs. Tyson Kidd

 

Well it was great last week so I can’t complain on a rematch.  Grisham says it was five stars.  The show is on the internet so that fits perfectly.  Yoshi fires off some kicks (actually called Kawada kicks by Regal) and we go to the floor for a bit.  Back inside Tyson hammers him down in the corner but can’t get a rollup.  They head to the apron and Kidd blocks a suplex.

Kiss manages to kick him off the apron back first into the post.  We take a break to talk about That’s What I Am which really shouldn’t stun me.  Back with Kidd working on the back until Tatsu reverses a suplex into a cross body for two.  Kidd hits a suplex and locks on a double chickenwing on the mat.  Yoshi fights up and chops away including a kick to put Kidd down.

Tatsu goes up so Kidd tries the Kurt Angle run up for a (vertical in this case) suplex but gets dropped.  Spinwheel kick catches Kidd in the hands so badly that Regal has to say it didn’t really hit.  That gets two and Kidd dropkicks the shin.  That sets up a Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza for the pin at 9:09.  For those of you unfamiliar with the general insanity of Perry Saturn, it’s a fisherman’s suplex but instead of bridging back you spin the guy around like a neckbreaker.

Rating: C+. Well it wasn’t bad but to say the other match was better is a huge understatement.  Too much resting going on here and nowhere near enough near falls to make this one work.  Not bad, but given what they did last week it was going to be pretty hard to top it here.  Still good though.

Profile on Derrick Bateman, who really shouldn’t have been eliminated last season, especially not while Johnny “so bland that white paint on growing grass calls you bland” Curtis was around.

Horny is still trying to give Maryse flowers.  They happen to be dead and include Twizzlers and banana peels.  She says that should get him a kiss but she hits him with the flowers instead.  Titus can’t console him.

Titus O’Neil/Darren Young vs. Daniel Bryan/Derrick Bateman

 

According to Todd, Bateman was supposed to be part of this season but tore his MCL.  Bateman and Young start us off with Bateman sending him to the floor.  Off to Bryan for a little Nexus on Nexus violence.  DB and DB work on Young’s arm but he’s able to fight off Bateman and bring in Titus.

That doesn’t last long and neither guy really gets anything going.  Back to Young for a chinlock.  Grisham says Regal could make a burning orphanage sound funny.  When I woke up today, I didn’t think I’d hear that line.  Titus slams Bateman down as the beating continues.

Young doesn’t do as well, allowing the hot tag to Bryan.  He hits a running dropkick in the corner to Young, followed by a suplex and swan dive headbutt.  Bryan backflips out of a suplex and staggers into the corner, tagging Bateman which I’m not sure was intentional.  Bryan takes out O’Neil and Bateman grabs a headlock and drives Young’s head into the mat like a Skull Crushing Finale for the pin at 6:22.

Rating: C. Just a tag match here and not a very interesting one at all.  The Bateman finisher was pretty weak an dit’s pretty clear that they’re going to have Bateman vs. O’Neil in the final two, assuming there is a final two.  Nothing special here, but then again Bateman never was anything special in the ring.

The last 13 minutes of the show are used to completely reair the Vince/Cena closing segment from last night, which was good but I don’t want to see it all over again just 24 hours later.

Overall Rating: D+. Didn’t like this one at all as the whole show felt like filler.  No mention of another elimination so based on the track record of this show so far, that means we’ll be here at least two more weeks.  I was only half kidding earlier when I mentioned August 2 but it’s looking more and more possible.  Didn’t like this as both matches were pretty bland and ¼ of the show is a segment from Raw.  Nothing to see here at all.

Results

Titus O’Neil won the Talk the Talk Challenge

Tyson Kidd b. Yoshi Tatsu – Fisherman’s neckbreaker

Derrick Bateman/Daniel Bryan b. Darren Young/Titus O’Neil – Headlock into a facejam to Young

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 4, 2011
Location: Thomas & Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re still in Vegas as this show was taped last week.  It’s the 4^th of July so expect a lot of Vince’s patriotism to shine through.  We have the Punk promo that everyone has been talking about to get through tonight which should definitely be interesting.  Vince himself might bere here too so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week which is the same as the Raw ReBound from Smackdown.

There’s a triple threat match for the #1 contender spot: R-Truth vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio.

Riley vs. Miz tonight….again.

Here’s Cena to open the show and he’s very serious it seems.  He talks about how Punk has said some stuff that has ticked off WWE management.  Due to those comments he’s been suspended indefinitely and loses his title shot.  There’s a triple threat match tonight and we’re just supposed to forget Punk existed.  Cena thinks that sucks.  The two of them have never seen eye to eye but Punk has been suspended for speaking his mind.

Cena says it’s unfair that someone has had his freedom of speech taken away.  He references the Bryan tie choking incident and the removal of various signs.  If the WWE Universe is silenced and Punk is silenced, what’s next?  The fans chant 1^st Amendment and Cena agrees.  If they can sweep Punk under the rug, what’s next?  He wants answers and he wants them from Vince himself.  Vince is on the way and Cena will get his answers tonight.  Solid opening.

Bella Twins vs. Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly

 

All of the girls looking good of course.  Eve starts with we’ll call that Brie.  Eve dominates to start and makes fun of the Bellas.  She gets tossed over the top though and might have hurt her shoulder.  Off to Nikki who works over the arm.  Eve finally escapes for the hot tag to Kelly who cleans house.  She hits the headscissors and the Stink Face.  Bulldog gets two.  K2 ends this clean at 3:14.

Rating: C. The arm work here was actually pretty good and showed some rare psychology in a Divas’ match.  Not bad actually as the whole thing worked pretty well.  Having the girls look good in their tiny outfits is always a nice perk.  I know the Divas aren’t going to amount to much anytime soon but it’s nice to see a decent little match like this every now and then.

Video on Andy Levine of Tough Enough.  It’s a bunch of trainers and him talking about Silent Rage and how they need to get him to let it out more often.

Truth is on the phone with what sounds like an insurance company.  Scott Sanford comes up to ask him about the triple threat.  Truth says he’s happy because he just saved 15% on his car insurance by switching to Geico.  Oh and he’ll win as Alberto comes up.  “First Little Jimmy, now Senor Jimmy?”  Alberto says it’s about destiny and Truth isn’t that impressed.

Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov vs. Michael McGillicutty/David Otunga

 

Apparently Mason Ryan is hurt.  Santino and Otunga start us off with Otunga in control briefly.  Santino tries the Cobra but David bails.  Off to McGillicutty who doesn’t do that well either.  Kozlov comes in and manhandles McGillicutty a little bit.  Double teaming by the champions takes Kozlov down and work their basic offense on the Russian.  He blocks a double suplex and brings in Santino.  Marella takes down everyone and loads up the Cobra, but McGillicutty manages to get a boot to the ribs and the McGillicutter ends this at 4:20.

Rating: D+. Pretty weak tag match here.  No idea why the titles weren’t on the line as they never deliver them anyway.  There really aren’t any teams on Raw to defend against anyway so I’d like to see them head to Smackdown once in awhile.  Nothing of note here and really pretty boring.

Post match, Zack Ryder comes out and says Woo Woo Woo You Know It and that’s it.  Literally, he came out, said the catchphrase and smiled at the ring.

Miz is in the back and says there’s a golden opportunity to get a shot at Cena but because of Alex Riley, Miz doesn’t get a chance to get the shot.  Tonight he’s taking Riley out for good.

Evan Bourne is in the back with Sergeant Slaughter.  He’s going to lead the crowd in the Pledge of Allegiance.  Swagger comes up and says that he should get to do it.  We even get a reference to the Gulf War angle back in 91.  Slaughter says everyone makes mistakes, like Swagger’s parents when they didn’t use birth control.  A match is made for later.

Vince’s plane arrived earlier.

Sgt. Slaughter vs. Jack Swagger

 

Slaughter is very bald.  If you’ve seen any Sarge match where he’s a legend you’ll seen this one.  Sarge gets the jump on him a few seconds into the match and gets the Cobra Clutch but Swagger escapes and a Vader Bomb ends this at 1:18.

Post match Sarge gets put in the ankle lock and Evan Bourne makes the save.  Sarge gets to do the Pledge of Allegiance.

We get a clip of the pretty cool destruction of the cage last week by Henry.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio vs. R-Truth

 

No entrance for Del Rio.  Whoever wins this is replaced by someone else in MITB.  Alberto takes over to start and a kick to the back of the head gets two on Rey.  Del Rip misses a charge and heads to the floor as Truth comes back in.  The spinning forearm gets two.  Everyone is on the floor now with Truth in control.  He sends both guys into the railing and gets two on Rey back in the ring.

After beating Rey down a bit more he hits a dive to keep Del Rio down.  Spinning side slam gets two on Rey as Del Rio is back in.  Truth hammers on Rey some more but Del Rio gets Truth onto his shoulders as we get a modified Doomsday Device with Truth taking the majority of the blow.  We take a break with everyone down.

Back with Del Rio choking Rey on the ropes and Truth nowhere to be seen.  Rey tries to fight back but gets caught in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two.  Del Rio sets for an O’Connor Roll but Truth pops up to hit Alberto in the face.  In a cool spot, Truth hits a sunset flip on Del Rio who still has his hands on Rey, meaning Rey takes a German suplex.  Backstabber to Truth for two.  Axe kick gets two but Del Rio breaks it up.  Alberto is sent to the floor as Rey hits the top rope splash to Truth.  Alberto runs back in and throws on the cross armbreaker for the tap from Rey at 13:07.

Rating: C. Just another triple threat match for a title shot.  I’m really getting tired of matches like these determining title shots rather than angles setting up matches, meaning they’re set up on emotion and hatred.  Still though that’s the modern method of doing things so it’s what we get.  Anyway, this was nothing special but the sunset flip/German suplex spot was cool.

Back with a recap video of the first MITB match and cash-in.

There’s a party setup in the ring and the cake says Happy Birthday Dolph.  Oh ok it’s because he’s US Champion and this is the birthday of the US.  Vickie sings Happy Birthday to Dolph.  Ziggler says there will never be another him and he’s awesome.  Forget Punk and Cena and the WWE Title because as long as he’s US Champion, it’s the only title that matters.

Here’s Kofi because we haven’t seen them fight enough.  Kofi says he should have been invited to the party.  He also says that Dolph can’t beat him without Vickie.  His eyes are very bloodshot.  Dolph says beat it so Kofi shoves him into Vickie who goes into the cake.  They brawl a bit and Vickie is knocked into it again.

Video on Miz’s MITB stuff last year.

The Miz vs. Alex Riley

 

We get a quick video about Riley during his entrance.  Riley gets all aggressive and takes over but messes up an attempt to throw Miz over the top.  He takes him out there anyway and keeps hammering.  Miz catches him coming back in though and takes over.  Off to a cravate and then a short DDT for two.  Vince is on his way to the arena.  Riley gets in some punches but walks into a flapjack for two.

Miz keeps hammering away and gets a reverse DDT for two as we take a break.  Back with Riley ramming Miz’s head into the mat to take over.  He gets all fired up and hits a spinebuster for two.  Inverted DDT is countered by a northern lights suplex though and hits the corner clothesline.  Miz tries the Reality Check but gets caught in a backslide for the pin at 9:10.

Rating: C+. Not bad here and it’s good to see Riley keep getting pushed, but eventually they have to let Miz get a win over someone.  I can’t think of the last time he won something.  Anyway, not bad here and probably about equal to their match at the PPV, which is a good sign for Riley.

Post match Miz snaps and beats Riley down, including Riley having his head rammed into the steps while Miz yells at him.  A running boot puts Riley over the announce table.

We see the same video from the beginning of the show.

Here’s Vince to talk about Punk.  Vince says that Punk was suspended because he deserved it.  He has a story about Punk.  Punk’s contract is expiring very soon and Punk wanted to have limos, first class flights, to be on DVDs etc.  Punk was suspended because he deserved it.  Punk is just that: a punk.  Vince goes to leave and here’s Cena to say not so fast my friend.

Cena says that’s not enough for Punk and says Punk was using his freedom of speech.  Vince is very pro-freedom of speech right?  “That’s why your microphone is still working pal.”  Cena remembers that when Vince used to walk down the aisle every week (required Vince walk impression included) and took on whatever was in front of him.  Vince took down Turner but he just suspended Punk for talking about him.

Cena wonders if the grapefruits are gone.  He still wants to fight Punk and if Vince doesn’t want to fight, maybe he should hang it up “old man”.  Vince says he really suspended Punk out of fear.  He’s afraid that Cena can’t beat him and Punk takes the title away with him wherever he goes.  Cena says he wants the match and so do the people.  God forbid we risk embarrassing Vince.

To Cena this is the biggest PPV of the year because of everything up against him.  We get a reference to Punk riding on Cena’s car at Mania 22 in Chicago.  However, Vince won’t let it happen because Vince didn’t like what Punk said.  Would Vince ever do that to Cena?  Vince says we don’t do this in public.  “Don’t be Hogan.”  Vince says it’s his company, not Cena’s, so does it really matter?

Cena says that’s not what he signed up for.  He gets that everyone is replaceable and that he shouldn’t be afraid of losing.  Cena hands the title to Vince and walks away.  Vince freaks out and more or less begs Cena to come back.  Vince says wait a minute and takes the belt with him up the ramp to Cena.  Vince hates this but the match is back on and Punk is reinstated.  However, if Punk walks out of Chicago with the title, Cena is fired.  Cena’s stunned look at Vince ends the show.

Overall Rating: D. The problem here is a very obvious one: this show revolved around two promos and other than them, not a single thing on this show mattered.  The triple threat is proven to be completely inconsequential given the announcement at the end of the show.  The lack of it being live and the crowd being burned out after four hours of Raw didn’t help anything.  This was a very bad episode of Raw and one of their weakest in a long time.  The featured promos keep it from being a failure though.

Results

Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly b. Bella Twins – K2 to Brie Bella

David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty b. Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov – McGillicutter to Marella

Jack Swagger b. Sgt. Slaughter – Corner pump splash

Alberto Del Rip b. Rey Mysterio and R-Truth – Cross Armbreaker to Mysterio

Alex Riley b. Miz – Backslide