Smackdown
Date: July 1, 2011
Location: US Airways Center, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

We have the main event set for MITB as it’s Christian vs. Orton 39 or whatever we’re up to with them now.  Also tonight we’ll probably find out who the Money in the Bank guys are, which should be interesting given who we have in the midcard on Smackdown.  The field for both shows is pretty wide open this year.  Hopefully Smackdown can get back to where it usually is.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a video about Mark Henry and how dominant he’s been lately.  Apparently he gets Orton tonight.

Teddy is in his office and Christian comes in with a contract.  He wants a contract signing with Orton tonight.  Teddy points out that he didn’t win the tag match last week, Henry did.  That clears up some stuff so we’re off to a good start.  If Henry wins, he might make it triple threat.  Christian is barred from ringside.

Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry

 

Not bad for an opener.  Henry immediately rams him into the corner but Orton fires off some right hands.  That doesn’t last long as Henry throws him into the corners a few times and then hits a belly to belly suplex for two.  Big boot puts Orton down again and Henry chokes a bit.  Time for some smack talk as Henry says he’s the champ and not Orton.  World’s Strongest Slam is countered and Orton gets a DDT for two.

We head to the floor and the referee actually lectures them for a bit, saying get back in the ring before he has to start counting them.  I’ve never heard that before.  Not that it matters though as here’s Big Show’s music.  No Big Show though as Henry stares at the runway.  When he realizes that there’s no big bald dude coming, he turns into an RKO at 8 and Orton wins by countout at 4:24.

Rating: C-. Not much here but it wasn’t meant to be a classic or anything like that.  Henry not being in the main event makes sense as they’ve been building to Show vs. Henry for awhile now.  This gets Henry out of the equation though so it accomplished that at least.  Nothing great but the pop for Orton was solid.

Post match Henry goes up to the technical area and yells at the music guy.  He destroys a lot of equipment while the sound guy is sitting there in terror.  I run the sound board at my church so I feel for this guy.  The guy starts to leave but Henry changes his mind and throws him off the side of the stand they’re on in a nice visual.  The guy just disappeared.  Henry finally leaves.

Daniel Bryan vs. Ted DiBiase

 

Neither guy has music due to the attack.  It’s a weird visual to see Bryan coming out to dead silence.  The lack of music of course.  The very mild reaction is typical.  DiBiase coming out to no music is a nice unintentional throwback to his pop’s days.  That’s about the only similarity between them though.  Ted says he’s enjoyed humiliating Bryan and it’s due to Cody in an inset interview.

Basic stuff to start with Bryan getting an armdrag into an armbar.  Off to a full on surfboard which still astounds me every time.  Bryan heads up but misses a jump of some sort, allowing Ted to dropkick him to the floor as we take a break.  Before we go back to the match, let’s have a quick video about Daniel Bryan.  Not bad for mid match advertising.

Back with Ted holding a chinlock.  DiBiase hits his following clothesline for two and it’s right back to the chinlock.  Bryan gets his backflip out of the corner and a clothesline puts DiBiase down.  He’s getting frustrated here.  Here come the kicks but Ted grabs one into a rollup.  Bryan counters that into an attempt at the LeBell Lock but Ted gets a rope before it’s on.

A backdrop puts Ted over the top and Ted tries to jump off the apron, only to be rammed into the post and then the railing.  He’s holding his shoulder after the second ram which gets two for Ted.  DiBiase gets some facewashes in the corner and a big slap.  They go up the corner but Ted is knocked off and Bryan hits a dropkick to put both guys down.  His arm and shoulder are still bothering him.  Bryan unloads with strikes and a big kick gets two.  Dream Street is countered so Ted tries another following clothesline.  Bryan is ready for it though and throws on a guillotine choke which is good for the submission at 9:03 shown of 12:33.

Rating: B. I liked this here as they had the time to build up a solid match with some psychology at the end of it also.  As usual, Bryan has a solid TV match.  I was very skeptical about him when he first came to WWE but he’s proven me wrong and has gone on to have some very solid matches.  Good TV match and it worked well, which is stunning for DiBiase.

The music is working again.

Christian comes in to see Teddy, saying since Henry lost he should get the title shot.  Teddy says the word on the street is that Christian was seen leaving the production truck after Big Show’s music played.  Apparently that doesn’t matter as there will be a contract signing in about an hour.  To kill the time though, Christian will be facing Sin Cara.  Bit of a step up from what Cara’s been doing to say the least.

Ted is upset and Cody says Ted hasn’t won a match since May 20.  He can’t guide Ted until Ted changes his ways.  If Ted can’t do that, he might as well wear a paper bag.

We recap Khali and Mahal and the heel turn of Khali.  We get highlights of Mahal and Khali dominating people while Singh talks about what’s going on.  Apparently Jinder wishes he was Great Khali but never will be.  He’s Singh’s brother in law apparently which makes him Khali’s brother in law also.  Mahal is married to their sister.  His power over Khali and what he’s saying when he shouts is that he’ll humiliate their family by divorcing his sister.  Dang it’s nice to have everything explained all at once for a change.

Video on Sin Cara that we’ve seen before.  Actually this is an extended one because he talks in it.  Wait that’s Mysterio.  What am I watching?  It started as a video on Cara and became one about Rey.  Why are they promoting Rey on Smackdown now?

Sin Cara vs. Christian

 

The MITB case is hanging over the ring and we’re told the SD MITB participants:

Kane, Sin Cara, Daniel Bryan, Wade Barrett, Cody Rhodes, Justin Gabriel, Heath Slater, Sheamus

Some interesting choices in there.  I guess Sheamus is the frontrunner but I’m not very sure.  Rhodes as a dark horse I guess.  Cara under jumps a springboard armdrag and Christian hits the floor.  Cara keeps teasing dives but Christian runs more as we take a break.  He complains about the lights before we cut away.  Back with Christian hammering away and trying to start a Sin Cara chant for some reason.

Christian hits the floor and Cara hits a corkscrew plancha to take over.  Back in Cara gets two.  There’s the way too complicated arm drag out of the corner for two.  Christian manages to backdrop him to the floor to take over.  The Cara chant starts up as he’s in a chinlock.  The Canadian gets a few near falls and chokes him on the middle rope.

Top rope headbutt misses and Cara gets two.  Springboard back elbow gets two.  Cara tries what looked like his finishing move but rotates more into a DDT instead for two.  Victory roll and a pretty ugly one gets two.  Christian goes up but Cara gets a boot to try to set up the top rope C4.  Christian shoves him off and hits the floor to rest a bit.  Cara is like cool dude and gets a rana off the apron to put Christian down again.

Back in a kick staggers Christian again and a springboard crossbody gets two.  Christian counters into a reverse DDT for a long two.  Cara grabs a small package for two.  Tajiri elbow is countered into a failed Killswitch attempt.  Cara charges but gets dropped onto the turnbuckle, followed by a spear to give him his first loss at 9:31 shown of 13:01.

Rating: B-. Good but not quite as good as the previous one.  It’s scary to think how bad this could have been without Smackdown editing for it.  The high spots are cool but at the same time they can cause problems with botching, which is something that it’s hard to overcome.  Kind of surprised Cara’s first loss is here, but at least he was able to hang in there with some higher level talent so that’s a good sign.  Pretty fun match, botches aside.

We get a clip of Jackson winning the IC Title.  He gets Cody tonight.  I was kind of hoping for a feud between those two so I’m happy here.

Cody Rhodes vs. Ezekiel Jackson

 

Jackson goes right at him and tosses Cody around like a tiny man.  Cody escapes a gorilla press and heads to the floor.  Some distracting by Ted allows Cody to take over for the first time.  Back inside Cody works on the arm and turns it into a hold I don’t think I’ve ever seen.  He’s sitting back like a camel clutch but has Jackson’s arm wrapped around his leg like a LeBell Lock.

Jackson gets up and throws Cody with a release gordbuster.  Big Zeke sells the arm and hits a corner clothesline and it’s slam time.  DiBiase comes up on the apron and gets drilled, only for Cody to hit the Beautiful Disaster and Cross Rhodes for the upset pin at 4:06.  I’m rather surprised by that.

Rating: C+. I know Jackson is almost universally hated on the internet, but answer this: what exactly are you expecting him to do/be out there?  The guys is a pure power wrestler and he uses basic power moves.  Why in the world would you expect him to do anything other than that?  I really don’t get the criticism I read about him as he’s doing exactly what someone that looks like him is supposed to do.  Anyway this wasn’t that bad at all with Jackson dominating and Ted trying to redeem himself in Cody’s eyes.  Nice little match.

We get a video on Jackson in the form of a little highlight package.  This is a new running thing on Smackdown and I really like them.  They’re like 30 seconds long and gives you a nice quick idea of what you can see if you keep watching the show.  Well, at least in cases where the guy hasn’t had his match already.

Johnny Curtis draws a picture of himself in a corner.  He has to run out of lines eventually.

Raw ReBound is the same as from NXT, showing a shortened version of Punk’s promo.  Cole tells us that Punk has been indefinitely suspended.  Booker saw it on Youtube and says he was blown away.  Good to know that Booker doesn’t watch Raw.  Vince is rumored to be on Raw apparently.

Kane vs. Wade Barrett

 

Barrett actually throws some bareknuckle punches which I don’t remember him doing any other time.  He controls early until Kane gets a boot up to break the momentum.  The low dropkick is set up but Wade hits the floor to avoid it.  Kane chases him in and runs into a big boot to knock him back to the floor as we take a break.  Back with Barrett holding a chinlock that is quickly broken.

Kane charges into an elbow and takes another big boot.  Barrett really likes that move.  He chokes Kane on the middle rope as Booker criticizes him for wasting time.  All the choking gets him a one count so let’s hit that chinlock.  Big uppercut takes him down after the hold is broken.  Barrett keeps expanding his moveset by hitting a DDT for two.  Middle rope elbow misses as the announcers are talking about ducks.  I think I’m glad I missed what got us there.

To the shock of everyone Kane busts out a pretty good cross body for two.  It’s followed by a big boot of his own for two.  Clothesline in the corner and a side slam get two.  Top rope clothesline looks to set up the chokeslam.  That gets reversed so Kane tries what looks like either a tombstone or a powerslam but Barrett gets out of that also.  Boss Man Slam gets a close two as this is getting good.  Doesn’t last long though as Barrett misses a big boot and Kane is able to hit the chokeslam for the pin at 8:37 shown of 12:07.

Rating: B. I like both of these guys and they put on a good match here.  This is one of those matches where both guys look good which is a good sign.  Barrett certainly doesn’t look weaker for losing and it’s not like Kane winning is a shocking upset.  Barrett keeps using his varying offense and it makes for entertaining matches.  The rating might be a bit high but I liked this quite a bit.

We see Henry attacking the guy earlier.  He’s been taking to the hospital and his vital signs are good.

Time for the contract signing.  Christian comes out with a lawyer with him.  He says there’s a clause in the contract saying that if there’s a bad decision or unfair call he gets an automatic rematch.  He swears he can beat Orton and cuts the champ off when he tries to talk.  The WWE and the fans can’t save their golden boy anymore because Orton can’t beat him.

Orton talks about how they had great matches and Orton kept winning.  Now we’ve gotten to all this and it’s making him angry.  As you know, he’s had problems in the past controlling his anger.  Lawyers won’t help him though because the only way he can get the title is to beat Orton, and that won’t happen.  Orton signs it up and hands it to Christian.  The lawyer reads it first and whispers something to Christian.

He goes to sign but the pen doesn’t work.  Teddy goes into his pocket for another pen but here’s Sheamus, returning from being punted and massacring both guys.  RKO is blocked and it’s a Brogue Kick for both guys.  Sheamus picks up the contract that doesn’t have Christian’s signature yet and rips it up.  He leaves both guys laying to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. Well that was a pretty awesome TV show.  You had some good matches, the main event scene has a new element added to it which was needed as Christian vs. Orton can only happen so many times.  Almost every match got some time and the whole thing was very good.  No bad matches, everything made sense, stories were advanced and the whole thing was very efficient.  Nice to see Smackdown bounce back after a few weaker shows.

Results

Randy Orton b. Mark Henry via countout

Daniel Bryan b. Ted DiBiase – Guillotine choke

Christian b. Sin Cara – Spear

Cody Rhodes b. Ezekiel Jackson – Cross Rhodes

Kane b. Wade Barrett – Chokeslam

I can’t believe I didn’t put something up on this sooner.

As I’m sure you’ve all seen by now, Punk had an awesome promo on Monday that was at least somewhat shoot.  What are your thought on where he’s going and what he’ll be doing in the future?

At the moment, I’m thinking he’s going away, at least for awhile and that Cena gets the clean win.  I think we’re probably building this up too highly, because the whole thing ends with a single fall.  I’d like to be wrong, but I don’t think it can end any other way.

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 27, 2011
Location: Thomas & Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s Raw Roulette tonight, meaning Spin the Wheel Make the Deal for you old school WCW fans.  In short it’s a lot of gimmick matches, determined by a likely rigged wheel.  We’re building towards Punk vs. Cena at the PPV and also towards the MITB ladder match which is likely to see some qualifying matches tonight.  Also Shawn Michaels is here tonight.  Let’s get to it.

Booker T is operating the wheel.

Here’s Shawn to open things up.  He says he promised he’d stay away but he can’t quite leave all this.  He did it for 20 years and you can’t just stop cold turkey.  Shawn is still the headline, the showstopper, the main event, Mr. Wrestlemania and now Mr. Hall of Fame.  He insists he’s not the guest host but is just a guy that’s here.  The last thing he’s going to do is tell you about a new show he has on the Outdoor Network which debuts tomorrow night at 11:30 PM.  He’s not going to point out his Twitter which is listed on the screen.

Shawn is interrupted by Punk and Nexus minus Ryan who apparently was hurt over the weekend.  Punk talks about how Shawn has an addictive personality and can’t stay away.  He reminds us that he’s leaving on the 17^th.  He says he’s going to leave a winner, which Shawn says you might want to ask Cena about.  After some more insults, Shawn gets a great line in by saying that the people cheer him because they know he’s better than Punk.  Punk wants to know if that’s a challenge.  Shawn says they’re not alike even though they have similarities.  Shawn says they both have their own styles and Otunga’s head is kicked off.

An E-Mail says Punk has the first match tonight so let’s spin the wheel.  Booker lists off some possible matches: on a pole, guest referee, cage, submission, pillow fight etc.  We spin the wheel and it lands on a question mark.  That means he has a mystery opponent, in the form of Kane who just happens to be standing next to the wheel.  Shawn gets Sweet Shoulder Music to McGillicutty and here’s Kane.

Kane vs. CM Punk

 

The bell is after the break.  Before we come back there’s a video about Mark Henry and then Henry putting Kane through the table last week is mentioned.  I wonder if that’s hinting at what’s coming.  They hit the floor with Kane totally dominating.  Clothesline in the corner and a side slam get two.  Punk manages to guillotine him on the top rope and a high kick puts Kane down.

Punk hammers away and tries to kick at the leg a bit, only for Kane to grab a chokeslam attempt.  Punk escapes but Kane takes him down anyway.  Top rope clothesline is broken up so Punk tries a superplex.  That doesn’t work but Punk rolls to the floor to avoid the clothesline.  Punk walks out for the countout at 4:16, saying that he doesn’t care which makes sense for him.

Rating: D+. Nothing of note here at all as it was mainly just to play up the whole Punk is leaving so he doesn’t care at all.  That makes sense and could prove interesting over the next few weeks.  The match itself meant nothing and wasn’t very interesting as a result, which gets annoying quickly.

Sin Cara vs. Evan Bourne

 

This is the make up match from last week when they screwed up the voting thing.  It’s also a roulette match with the stipulation of….something that is going to be determined after they get confused.  They ring the bell with Justin Roberts still in the ring and before the wheel is spin.  Even in some Daisy Dukes is with Booker and it’s no countout.  They start on the mat until Cara speeds things up with his insane flying stuff.

They head to the floor and then roll back in almost at the same time.  Bourne gets his double stomp to the chest for two.  Handspring elbow misses and Bourne misses a jumping kick.  Rana sends Bourne to the floor and Cara hits a HUGE suicide dive.  The crowd is into this also.  Bourne counters a spinning something into a headscissors to take over and we go back inside.

Cara avoids a dropkick and gets a rollup for two.  La Magistral gets two for Cara.  A spinning crossbody which wound up with Cara landing with his back on Bourne’s chest for two.  Standing moonsault gets two for Evan.  Shooting Star misses and Cara gets his spinning mat slam for the pin at 4:52.

Rating: B-. Cara is getting better with fewer botches, even though it seemed like Bourne was shaken up on the ending.  They did the right thing here and let them go, but a few more dives would have made it far better.  Still though, there was enough there to make it fun and the fans were way into it which is the whole point.

Kofi gets to spin the wheel to determine what kind of match he has with Ziggler next.  Vickie comes in to spin it for him and it’s Player’s Choice, meaning Kofi gets to pick the match.  He goes with Vickie is barred from ringside.

Instead of qualifying matches we’re just going to be told who the participants in MITB are going to be.  For Raw:

Rey Mysterio, Kofi Kingston, Evan Bourne. Alberto Del Rio, R-Truth, Jack Swagger, Alex Riley, The Miz.  No Dolph?  Interesting.

Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler

 

Vickie tries to come out and is sent to the back.  WWE really needs to find something else for these two to do.  Dolph hits the floor almost immediately and tries to walk out like Punk did, only for Kofi to stop him and bring him back towards the ring.  Dolph sends him into the post as we take a break.

Back with Dolph holding a chinlock.  Fameasser gets two.  Kofi reverses a half nelson slam into a small package for two.  Slugout is won by Kingston but Ziggler gets a big boot up.   He throws Kofi into the ropes but Kofi bounces off the top and a sweet Trouble in Paradise ends this at 7:35.

Rating: C. Match was mostly in the commercial but that kick to end it was pretty sweet.  I guess we’re going to get another match between these two later on because we haven’t seen it enough yet.  These two desperately need something new to do and they have for a very long time.  Not bad here but nothing memorable at all.

Booker recaps the first hour with Maryse next to him.  Alberto comes in and complains about having to face Show again.  Alberto hits on Maryse, asking her to spin it for luck.  The match is a steel cage match which gets a big reaction from the crowd.  Maryse leaves when she sees that.  “Tell me she didn’t just spin that.”

We get a clip of Henry slamming Show through the table at Capitol Punishment.

Big Show vs. Alberto Del Rio

 

Pin, submission or escape here.  Alberto runs for the wall almost immediately and that doesn’t work at all.  Alberto gets a boot in but can’t really follow up.  He gets a shot in to the knee and works it over which is the best strategy against Show here.  And yeah there’s Henry.  Show starts his comeback and chops away.  Chokeslam is loaded up but Alberto kicks the knee out again.

Show goes down after some more kicks but as Del Rio tries to escape he gets chopped again.  They go up on the corner and a superplex nearly breaks the ring.  And here’s Henry to try to rip the door off.  Thankfully it didn’t take as long as it did when he did it on Smackdown a few years ago.  Henry comes in and beats up Big Show, allowing Del Rio to escape at 5:23.

Rating: D. Just…no.  A cage match that lasts 5:23 and has outside interference completely misses the point of the thing.  Henry stays intimidating and interesting for about five minutes and then once he loses he goes back to being a bunch of nothing again.  One of the worst cage matches I’ve seen in a very long time.

Henry rams the door into Show who is against the wall of the cage, making it break and fall to the floor.  Show gets laid out and Henry yells a lot.  The cage breaking was cool.

We recap Kelly winning the title last week.

Nikki Bella vs. Kelly Kelly

Brie vs. Kelly at MITB.  It’s a submission match.  Oh sweet mercy help up.  Nikki goes after the arm and grabs a Fujiwara Armbar.  And never mind as Kelly reverses into a Boston Crab for the tap at 1:18.  They beat Kelly down post match and Eve makes the save.

Video on Andy Levine winning Tough Enough.  He talks about getting slapped and taking the Stunner after being hired.  We see various people talking about how Andy is promising and all that jazz.

The wheel is spun for Rey’s match and it’s a tornado match.  It’s him and Riley vs. Miz/Swagger with no tagging.  Rey leaves and of all people Diamond Dallas Page pops up to push his WCW DVD.  Drew McIntyre comes up and says the old guys are taking up his TV time.  He says they have ten minutes to leave and walks into Sweet Chin Music.  Shawn wants the DVD because he never watched WCW.

The Miz/Jack Swagger vs. Rey Mysterio/Alex Riley

 

No tagging remember.  Rey vs. Swagger and Miz vs. Riley are the pairings to start us off.  Mysterio and Swagger stay in the ring and Riley gets beaten down.  Miz and Swagger set up for a Doomsday Device but Miz gets crotched.  Seated senton from the apron takes down Swagger and Riley gets a hiptoss from the top for two on Miz as we go to a break.

Back with Miz and Swagger beating down Riley as Rey is already down.  Riley comes back and gets a rollup for two on Miz.  Rey tries a springboard but jumps into a fireman’s carry into a gutbuster on Miz’s knee.  Swagger and Riley fight to the floor and Miz tries s superplex but is knocked back to the mat.  Seated senton hits and the returning Swagger is sent into Miz.

Riley pulls the ropes down to send Swagger to the floor.  Big kick to Miz gets two for Rey.  Another kick sets up the 619 but Swagger breaks it up.  Riley gets a spinebuster to Swagger for what looked like three but Miz saved just in time.  Reverse DDT gets two for Miz.  Cactus Clothesline sends Riley and Miz to the floor as Swagger hits a big boot to Rey for a close two.

Gutwrench bomb is countered into the 619 which is countered into the ankle lock.  They’re in the ropes but that doesn’t matter I guess.  Riley makes the save and there’s the 619 position.  Riley drills Swagger and then the 619 hits.  Inverted (kind of) DDT sets up the top rope splash for the pin at 11:45.

Rating: B. This got a lot better as the match kept going.  Riley keeps getting pushed harder and harder which is a good sign for him.  The tornado aspect helped a lot here as it kept things from getting boring.  They let the guys do all of their stuff and the false finishes were pretty awesome too.  Pretty awesome for a TV match.

Rey might have hurt his knee.

Quick video on Shawn’s new show.

Truth spins the wheel after checking for a conspiracy.  Truth vs. Cena will be a tables match.

John Cena vs. R-Truth

 

Tables match here.  Truth gets a right hand to start but walks into a suplex to give Cena the advantage.  Table is loaded up but Truth beats Cena to it.  Surfboard hold goes on by Truth as the fans are split on Cena again.  Dropkick puts Truth down.  AA is blocked into the suplex into a Stunner by Truth.

Truth sets up a table in the corner as Cena is getting up.  A suplex into it is reversed though and both guys are down.  Truth charges at Cena but goes over the top and they both hit the floor.  Cena puts him into the steps and takes a table from the aisle to put in the ring.  Apparently the one that was already in there isn’t to his liking.  AA is loaded up but Punk comes out to move the table.  Cena and Punk brawl and Truth manages to hit a shoulder block/spear to put Cena through the table to end it at 5:08.  Punk is wearing an Austin shirt or a great imitation of one.

Rating: D+. Pretty weak match due to the time limit but overall these two don’t have much chemistry for the most part.  Punk was the main thing here and that’s fine.  I’m curious as to where they’re going with this because it could go anywhere for the most part, namely due to the uncertainty of whether or not Punk is leaving.  Match was worthless though.

Post match Punk sits on the stage and says he doesn’t hate Cena.  He even likes him more than most people in the back.  Cena isn’t the best though, at least not in the ring.  Punk says that Cena is only the best at kissing up to Cena.  He’s even better than Hulk Hogan was at it.  He’s not as good as Dwayne though but he’s close.  Punk says he’s the best wrestler here and has been since day one when Paul Heyman saw something in him.  He’s a Heyman guy, just like Brock Lesnar was and he left too.  There are some named you never hear anymore.

Punk talks about how he’s tired about not being on souvenir cups or on the front of the program or in movies or on a show on USA or on Conan or Fallon even though he should be.  He’s not even in the opening video of the WWE shows.  Some fans are cheering and Punk says that’s a big problem with him leaving because they’re sipping out of the cups he’s not on.  He’s winning the title and might defend it in New Japan or Ring of Honor.  “Hi Colt Cabana.”  Vince is a millionaire and not a billionaire because of the idiots he surrounds himself with.

Punk says that the company might be better off when Vince is dead because then the company is going to his idiot daughter and worthless son-in-law.  He has a personal story about the bullying campaign and his mic is cut off, ticking him off before they cut the cameras and end the show.  This was mind blowing stuff.

Overall Rating: B. This was right in the middle but some of the matches are good enough for the show to work.  I’m not a fan of the gimmick shows for the most part, especially three in a row.  The tornado tag was rather good and hopefully sets up Miz vs. Rey which is a feud we haven’t seen before.  Thankfully next week we get back to the regular stuff which I’ve missed over the past month.  Not bad show here but there were definitely bad parts to it.  Punk’s promo pushed this up from a C+.

Results

Kane b. CM Punk via countout

Sin Cara b. Evan Bourne – Headscissors into a mat slam

Kofi Kingston b. Dolph Ziggler – Trouble in Paradise

Alberto Del Rio b. Big Show – Del Rio escaped the cage

Kelly Kelly b. Nikki Bella – Boston Crab

ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: June 13, 2006
Location: Sovereign Bank Arena, Trenton, New Jersey
Attendance: 5,100
Commentators: Joey Styles, Taz

So this is the debut of ECW on Sci-Fi which I found online out of boredom. Since I’m getting dangerously close to the end of the ECW PPVs, I figured I’d do the first and last shows of ECW on Sci-Fi and TNN just for the heck of it. This show is considered a miserable failure so let’s find out why. The main event is a battle royal to determine who fights Cena at Vengeance. ECW came back officially two days before this so it’s brand new and this is the big debut. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the second One Night Stand which was where the If Cena Wins We Riot sign debuted. Cena says he’ll be on ECW tonight, thereby killing ECW on its opening night. This was supposed to be the real ECW but you could tell that was never going to happen a few seconds after it debuted.

Heyman opens us up here and brings out RVD. They even have the hole in the brick wall entryway. RVD is WWE Champion here, having won it two nights ago. His voice reminds me of a less depressed Vin Diesel for some reason. They keep saying he’s the champion without saying WWE. Heyman declares him the ECW World Champion. Taz says no one knows what RVD is feeling. I think that should say no one knows why RVD never won the title in the original ECW. He says he’s just going to defend both titles. Van Dam wants the other one because it spins.

And here’s the #1 contender: Edge. Edge is ok because he could have made it in the original ECW I think. He cost Cena the title at Vengeance so he’s WAY over. Edge spears him after complimenting him. He goes through the crowd and Cena is behind him. RVD and Cena fight over who gets to beat up Edge. This of course allows Edge to escape. And remember, this is ECW. Pay no attention to the argument going on over the WWE Title with WWE guys.

After a house show ad, Heyman gives a speech to the locker room and says they’re invading Raw on Monday. You know it might work better if you didn’t say it on national TV.

The Zombie vs. The Sandman

And this right here is where ECW died completely. Since they could only get on Sci-Fi, they tried to get more sci-fi stuff on the show, hence this. And cue Sandman to not Metallica. Styles and Taz don’t even try to take this seriously. This is like a bad indy show joke or something. Sandman canes the tar out of him to a great pop and the White Russian Leg Sweep ends this in like 10 seconds. Dust flew off of Zombie. No rating obviously.

Kelly is an exhibitionist and wants to take off all of her clothes.

DX is coming back. On ECW. Shoot me. Better yet shoot Heyman as he doesn’t deserve this.

We see the whole Taz destroying King match from the PPV two days ago. It’s a 30 second squash but we see the whole thing, including intros.

Kurt Angle vs. Justin Credible

Angle would be in TNA later this year so what does that tell you about their luck? He had been the big guy sent to ECW to make them credible which to be fair is a good idea since he was in ECW before he was in WWE if you squint really hard when you look at it. Also his personality fits for ECW so it’s not that much of a stretch. Angle of course destroys Justin by throwing him all over the place and treating him like a video game character. Justin shoves him and Angle hits something close to the Tazmission to make him tap in maybe 90 seconds, which is somehow the longest match of the night, tripling the second place offering so far. No rating again obviously. He calls out Orton for a rematch at Vengeance.

Heyman says he’s throwing out everything he had planned and we’re having an extreme battle royal for the shot against Cena at Vengeance.

Read the Rise and Fall of ECW.

An unnamed character (Kevin Thorn) looks up at the ECW sign as Joey and Tazz say he couldn’t be what they think he is (vampire).

Kelly comes out to strip for us. She only has one name so far. She gets down to her underwear and unhooks her bra and puts her hands over her chest and leaves. Was there a point to that at all?

Extreme Battle Royal

Tommy Dreamer, Sabu, Big Guido, Little Guido, Stevie Richards, Big Show, Roadkill, Danny Doring, Al Snow, Tony Mamaluke, Balls Mahoney

So despite Heyman saying 10 there are 11. Sure why not. The weapons are all on the floor which completely goes against the logic of a battle royal. Balls has a bad cover of AC/DC. Show has hair here. That’s not something I’m used to. Wait didn’t he get his head shaved before this? Everyone runs from Show and it’s almost impossible to keep track of who is eliminated and who is just running. Roadkill takes a fallaway slam and we go to a break. No one has been eliminated since they all went through the ropes. We get some token weapons shots and I want this to end.

Taz tries to play this off as being more extreme than anything else and I feel sorry for him. Sabu sets up a table. Everyone jumps Show and it does nothing at all. Show puts out Snow. And Doring. Uh Richards too. Might as well say Roadkill too. Balls Mahoney is number five. This is all in a row so I’m not skipping anything. Dreamer goes after Show with something made of metal and of course it does jack. He goes through a table on the floor. It’s Show, the FBI and Sabu. Show puts all three of the non-fake Arabians out in about 45 seconds and then Sabu hits him while he’s on the ropes to win it.

Rating: F. Oh sweet mama this was bad. Show literally eliminated everyone other than Sabu in less than 4 minutes. There’s domination and then there’s this. One of the worst battle royals ever to fittingly close out one of the worst hours ever.

Overall Rating: G. This is one of those weird shows that actually goes beyond failing and blazes new territory. Other than the main event if you want to call it that, the longest match was less than 100 seconds long. One match had a zombie and one was from a PPV so it wasn’t even new. They had no freaking clue what they were doing with this and it showed badly. They more or less redid the whole thing the next week when this bombed so terribly. Not even worth it for the historical value. Terrible show.

Smackdown
Date: June 24, 2011
Location: Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Booker T, Michael Cole

First show after Capitol Punishment which will likely see more continuation in Orton vs. Christian.  Other than that it’s kind of hard to say as there aren’t many other big time feuds going on this show.  Maybe some more Rhodes vs. Bryan which has been solid and perhaps an IC Title match from Jackson.  Unfortunately it’ll probably just be a rematch with Barrett which doesn’t sound all that thrilling.  Let’s get to it.

Do you know your enemy?  Mine is finding a copy of this show this week.

Here’s Teddy.  I wonder how his arms still work with how far he swings them.  He says that the title match on Sunday had a controversial ending and for once he’s right.  Teddy calls out Christian who is all mad about the ending to the match.  We get a clip of said ending and Teddy agrees that it was a bad call.  He apologizes to the fans but the decision stand.

Christian freaks because HE deserves the apology, not the fans.  He says he deserves another title match because of not only that but also what Orton did after the match.  Teddy says Orton committed actions unbecoming of a champion.  The Canadians wants another shot and Teddy says you have to earn it.  The decision was bad, but it was also final.  Christian has to earn his shot tonight against Kane.  Christian yells a lot as Teddy leaves.

I was right.  Barrett gets his rematch tonight.

Shawn will be on Raw.  Also, Sin Cara vs. Bourne due to the votes being messed up.

Sin Cara vs. Ted DiBiase

 

Apparently DiBiase has celebrity friends now.  There go the lights again.  Booker calls Teddy a follower and apparently he’s following Cody because he can’t help it.  Cara speeds things up and the fans are way behind him.  Nice dive to the floor which looked a bit edited.  Back in and DiBiase gets a dropkick to counter a springboard cross body for two.  DiBiase gets a HARD kick to the head to take over even more.

Following clothesline gets two.  Cara gets his feet up in the corner and hits a middle rope dropkick for two.  Things speed up a bit and Cara gets a rana to take over.  Dropkick puts Ted down again and a pretty nice armdrag.  He tries a springboard….something, but is caught in a sitout spinebuster for two.  Cara hits the ropes again and goes into a headscissors, spinning around multiple times before he slams DiBiase down into a crossface position but instead covers for the pin at 5:09.

Rating: C. I know Cara is huge in Mexico and can spin around a lot, but he needs to actually have a story and an actual match rather than just flipping around a lot and doing a collection of moves.  It’s really not a match and it’s getting a bit old.  Not horrible, but it’s getting repetitive.

We get a clip of Bryan getting paper bagged on Raw by Rhodes.

Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan

 

Cody comes out first and says he loves chocolate.  He calls this town the modern day Sodom because it makes more chocolate than anywhere in the world, making everyone fat and ugly.  Booker is handed a bag, cracking up Cole.  Bryan interrupts and says he’s sick of this.  He makes fun of the mask, saying Cody should put the cup in his pants, not on his face.  Looks aren’t everything and his proof is a picture of Cody’s pop, Dusty Rhodes.  He looked horrible but was interesting and charismatic, which are things that Cody isn’t.  Bryan thinks Cody is a bitter and arrogant jerk who will never live up to his father’s standards.

Those are of course fighting words and as the bell rings, Cole is using a paper bag like a puppet because he’s….uhhh….stupid.  Oh it’s a Booker puppet.  You can tell because it has the word Booker on the top of it.  Bryan reverses La Magistral into a pinning combination for two.  Cody gets sent to the floor and is all ticked off over it.  DiBiase comes out for moral support I guess as we take a break.

Back with Cody sending him to the floor.  Rhodes hammers away even more as Cole argues with Booker.  Off to the arm and then into a Russian legsweep.  Almost all Cody so far in this other than a little bit at the beginning.  Bryan finally comes out of the corner and mostly misses a Pele-style kick.  A rana off the top with Rhodes not looking that good with it gets two for Bryan.

Bryan gets all fired up and throws his kicks.  Booker calling him D Bry is rather annoying.  LeBell Lock doesn’t work and neither does a series of rollups.  The both try cross bodies and collide hard.  Bryan takes DiBiase out but walks into the Beautiful Disaster and his leg is caught in the ropes.  Another one sets up the Cross Rhodes and we’re done at 8:53 shown of 12:23.

Rating: C+. Somewhat better here but DiBiase is weighing Cody down.  His whole psycho thing worked very well but now with Ted out there they come off like an uninteresting tag team who doesn’t team together all that often.  It’s nice to see Bryan have a feud and getting ring time though instead of just coming in and out at times.  Not bad here but I think they could do better.

Bryan is bagged again post match.

Johnny Curtis has ketchup, mustard and mayonnaise in front of him but leaves the mustard, because he can’t cut it.

Show is in the back to talk about the attack from Mark Henry, saying he’s fine.  He doesn’t have much to say to Striker.  Show says Henry was in the wrong place at the wrong time.  This results in a video about Henry for some reason.  As Show is talking some more, Henry pops up to spear him through the set and says better is better.

Intercontinental Title: Ezekiel Jackson vs. Wade Barrett

 

Barrett jumps him in the aisle to take over.  This is pre-match I think.   The referee says he’s not ringing the bell until Zeke is on his feet.  Here we go and Barrett has a big advantage.  Neckbreaker gets two.  Jackson gets in some kicks but that’s about all as Barrett takes him down and throws on a chinlock.  Boss Man Slam gets two.

Jackson catches Barrett in a release Rock Bottom to get us back to even.  And never mind as Barrett takes over on the floor again and gets two back inside.  Barrett tries Wasteland but Jackson easily counters it into the Torture Rack and we’re done at 4:35.  Dang it I wanted to see those slams!

Rating: C. Nowhere near as good as their match Sunday but hopefully this ends things and we can move onto something else.  I wouldn’t be opposed to Jackson vs. Rhodes for awhile as Jackson is more or less all looks so there’s your story.  Barrett is in a weird place now as I don’t want to see him vs. Orton but he’s a bit bigger than the midcard.  Should be interesting.

Orton says it’s borderline comical that Christian might get another shot and he’s laughing on the inside.  He’ll face Christian again if Christian wins, but the closest Christian will get to the title is having it go upside his head.

Slater and Gabriel make fun of Barrett, who says he has big plans.  He also wants to know where they’ve been for the last few weeks.  They say they’re going to go win a rematch.

Usos vs. Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater

 

The Usos are embracing their wild Samoan side a big more it seems with what sounds like a tribal chant to start their music and they yell a lot.  Apparently it was a war dance they were doing.  Slater/Gabriel have new music that is pretty generic but not bad.  Gabriel starts vs. we’ll call him Jimmy.  Quickly off to Jey who gets a northern lights suplex for two.

Justin sends him to the floor and Slater adds in a dive to take over.  The former champions tag in and out rather well.  The crowd isn’t all that thrilled here but they’re trying at least.  Booker and Josh have no idea which Uso is which.  Gabriel teases a springboard but takes Jimmy’s leg out instead.  Off to a Fujiwara Armbar which doesn’t last long.  Off to Jey and Slater who is caught in a Bubba Bomb for no cover.  Oh apparently that’s Jimmy.  Does it really matter?  Jimmy pop locks or something before hitting a superkick to Slater but the top rope splash eats knees and we’re done at 4:28.

Rating: C. Just a tag match here that didn’t do much but it’s good to see actual teams go at it more than once at a time.  It won’t go anywhere as far as a feud or a division but it’s an improvement.  Pretty average TV tag match and the Usos looked good.  I don’t want to see another Wild Samoan team though.  Not sure if it would work for smaller guys.

Cena says don’t try this.

Yoshi Tatsu vs. Jinder Mahal

 

Khali comes into the ring but Guido hasn’t rung the bell yet in the first place.  This is a big beating and Mahal leaves Tatsu laying with a full nelson slam.  Khali sends him to the floor and the Indians stand tall.  Match never even started.  Mahal says that was just a sample and that he was born the best.  There will be no more dancing and no more kiss cam because the Eastern Winds will blow through the entire WWE.

Kane vs. Christian

 

I’d assume if Kane wins he gets the shot at the PPV.  Christian has to use speed to start but baldie shoves him around with ease.  Kane sends him into the buckle chest first and the beating is on.  Christian gets a right hand in but it just ticks Kane off so he pops Christian down with ease.  Christian tries some leverage stuff and guillotines Kane’s throat on the top rope.

The Canadian takes over and tries to smother Kane more or less by putting his hands over Kane’s mouth.  That’s one way to put him down.  Christian low bridges Kane and we head to the floor where Kane is rammed into the railing.  Back inside, Christian goes up and hits a swan dive to keep Kane down.  We hit the chinlock and take a break.  Back with Christian still in control and firing off some right hands.

Those don’t seem to work as Kane hits a side slam for two.  Kane takes over and hits a tilt-a-whirl slam for two.  Christian tries to go up and manages to hit the tornado DDT for two.  Kane gets a big boot and heads up.  Christian pulls him off, only for two though.  He throws a bit of a fit and is all upset about the kickout.  The fit ends and Christian goes up, only to jump into an uppercut for two.  Kane goes up one more time and this time the clothesline hits.  Kane calls for the chokeslam….and here’s Mark Henry for the DQ at 10:07 shown of 13:37.

Rating: B-. Pretty good match here for a power vs. speed match.  Christian was jumping and using moves that with the proper momentum he was able to make look realistic, which is a very key thing for a match like this.  Christian has been on a roll lately in the ring and this was no exception.  Fun stuff.

Henry keeps beating on Kane post match and goes after Christian for a bit before they double team Kane.  Teddy comes out and says one more match, this time in a tag team match.  Orton comes out to be the partner.  Nice pop for Randy.

Kane/Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry/Christian

 

I guess whoever gets the pin gets the shot?  It’s not really clear.  Actually I’d bet it’s only Christian that can because there was never any mention of Kane potentially winning the shot.  Christian and Orton start us off after the break.  Orton takes over quickly and hits the knee drop for two.  Christian brings in Henry who runs through Orton and it’s back to Christian.

Ok apparently if Christian’s team wins, he gets the shot.  So what’s in this for Kane and Henry?  Henry misses a drop onto Orton’s chest and here’s Kane.  Kane is sent to the floor but guillotines Henry on the top rope for two.  There’s the top rope clothesline for two.  Henry runs over Kane too and it’s off to Christian.  He hammers on the back of Kane as this has been almost one sided.

The big fat tub of goo comes in again and gets two off a right hand.  Kane gets a chokeslam out of nowhere and both guys are down.  Double tags bring in Orton and Christian and Randy hits his chest sticking out Thesz Press.  Henry comes in but can’t get the World’s Strongest Slam.  Orton counters into an RKO attempt but is shoved into Christian who takes the RKO instead.  Henry is legal though and hits the Slam for the pin at 7:31.

Rating: C. Just a main event tag match here but after the long main event earlier that’s fine.  I just hope this doesn’t end with Henry being a challenger to Orton as he’s certainly not someone I want to see in the main event scene.  Not bad here but it was nothing we haven’t seen a hundred times before.

Christian taunts Randy with the belt to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. I liked it better than last week but not by much.  The main thing here is that the show is lacking that energy that they had before.  I’m not entirely sure why but it feels like they’re kind of going through the motions anymore.  The biggest issue I think is that nearly everything here is stuff we’ve seen before.  Other than Kane and Henry being added, everything has been done before, namely in the last week or so.  Not bad and better than last week but not awesome as I’m accustomed to with Smackdown.

Results

Sin Cara b. Ted DiBiase – Headscissors into a mat slam

Cody Rhodes b. Daniel Bryan – Cross Rhodes

Ezekiel Jackson b. Wade Barrett – Torture Rack

Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel b. The Usos – Slater pinned Jimmy with a small package

Kane b. Christian via DQ when Mark Henry interfered

Mark Henry/Christian b. Randy Orton/Kane – World’s Strongest Slam to Orton

NXT
Date: June 21, 2011
Location: Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal

It’s week whatever here (It’s week whatever here) and there are no signs of us getting done with this show yet.  We have three people left in the forms of O’Brian, O’Neil and Young.  Other than that there isn’t much else going on here, which to be fair can be said nearly every week around here.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Lucky Cannon’s stuff over the course of the season.  I think this is the same video we opened last week with.  Cannon kind of reminds me of Kelso from That 70’s Show.  At least they’re not airing the wrong episode because there’s the elimination from last week.

They’re still wild, but after being on this season for this long can you still classify them as young?

There’s another elimination next week.

Here’s Horny with Titus to open the show.  Apparently the small one has some business with Maryse.  And here she is to at least make the show more fun to look at.  Horny mumbles a lot and Titus translates.  Apparently Horny has a surprise for her and has her hold her hand out.  He puts a box in her hand and it’s a ring pop.  I haven’t had one of those in years.  She insults him for it because she’s not nice anymore.  The ring is thrown in his face and she leaves him all upset.

And of all people here’s Zack Ryder.  He was the pro for Titus on NXT Season 2.  Decent reaction but not exactly the explosion that you would expect from what you read about him online.  The tall people compared Ryder and Horny’s merits as Pros and Ryder threatens to fist pump Titus’ face.  Striker makes the obvious main event.

Vladimir Kozlov/Yoshi Tatsu/Conor O’Brian vs. Chavo Guerrero/JTG/Darren Young

 

Regal goes into another rant about JTG, saying he’s been waking up half an hour earlier so he can hate him that much longer every day.  Young and O’Brian start us off.  This is about as riveting as you would expect them to be if you’ve watched their matches all season.  Conor runs him off after awhile and here’s Chavo.  Regal apparently had Chavo’s first match in WCW.

Conor is holding his arm kind of funny after a bit so here’s Yoshi to fight JTG.  Regal talks about losing a bet about Cannon last week but not having any money due to the women he has to pay for.  Koz comes in and cleans some house.  Powerslam gets two for Kozlov as Regal praises him.  Vlad cleans house and Conor helps out a bit as we take a break.  Back with Vlad getting two on Chavo off a powerslam.

The rookies beat on each other for a bit with the main work being on the knee of O’Brian.  Off to JTG and this goes on way too long.  They’ve been working on his knee for five minutes now.  Everyone gets in a lot of time on it with JTG on it at the moment.  Conor gets some shots in but Chavo gets a drop toehold to take him right back down.

After about eight minutes of O’Brian getting beaten on (seriously) it’s close enough to a tag to bring in Yoshi.  He cleans house and hits a spin kick to take JTG down.  Shining Wizard gets one as everything breaks down.  Koz gets a pretty nice double suplex on Chavo and Young to send them to the floor.  And never mind as Tatsu kicks JTG’s head off for the pin at 15:20.

Rating: C-. They’re trying so hard to make us care about O’Brian and it’s almost a guarantee he’s making the finals if not winning the whole thing, just so we can see him next season again.  I never once wanted to see him make the tag, which at times I often do in these matches.  He flat out isn’t interesting and that’s all there is to it.  Way too long here.

We’re told that the votes messed up last night and Sin Cara actually should have faced Bourne.  That explains a few things.  They’ll have a match on Raw to make up for it.

Raw Rebound is about the Punk segment last night.

Tyson Kidd is talking to Lucky Cannon on the phone and says there won’t be a recount.  He says he has to go because he comes up on I guess you would call it a shrine in a locker with candles and all that jazz.  There’s a Yoshi Tatsu action figure in the middle and Yoshi comes up, saying not to touch it.  Kidd leaves and Yoshi puts a Hershey bar in front of it (huge pop.  Remember the town they’re in) and bows to it.  I have no idea what to say to that.

Titus O’Neil vs. Zack Ryder

 

Regal has a quick thing about Ryder also: his old partner Dave Taylor had a hand in training Ryder.  Ryder charges straight at him which gets him beaten up.  Grisham actually mentions the Youtube show and the Internet Championship.  Titus gets a headlock on for awhile and then runs Ryder over.  Horny bites Ryder on the license plate on his tights, allowing O’Neil to get a school boy for two as we take a break.

Back with Ryder taking over after a knee lift.  He chokes away a lot as I guess he’s still a heel on TV.  They need to pick one or the other, because he’s constantly changing back and forth.  Off to the chinlock as Regal points out that Horny is the only person that keeps Titus going.  Ryder gets a running facewash in the corner which has a proper name that I can’t think of.  It only gets two and it’s back to the chinlock.  They get back up and here’s the comeback for Titus.  Ryder hits the floor and goes after Horny, prompting a brief bit on the floor.  Back in, O’Neil walks into the Rough Ryder for the pin at 8:30.

Rating: C. Not bad but kind of long here.  The reaction for Ryder was ok at best which isn’t really that surprising.  He’s ok in the ring but not particularly good.  Also interesting to hear them actually acknowledge his Youtube show and a nice little change of pace.  The match itself was just kind of there and not that interesting.

Overall Rating: C-. Not a horrible show here and thankfully we get it down to the final two next week.  If the matches were a bit better this could work overall.  The same old issues come up again here: everyone has faced each other time after time and there’s no one caring about anything.  The season almost has to be winding down soon though so at least we can get a fresh batch next season.  Not horrible overall tonight though.

Results

Yoshi Tatsu/Vladimir Kozlov/Conor O’Brian b. Darren Young/JTG/Chavo Guerrer – High Kick to JTG

Zack Ryder b. Titus O’Neil – Rough Ryder

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 20, 2011
Location: 1^st Mariner Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

It’s another three hour Raw coming off a rather weak PPV last night in the form of Capitol Punishment.  It’s Power to the People tonight which more or less means Viewer’s Choice, as the fans are going to pick the matches and the participants in them.  This was rather interesting last year so maybe we’ve got a winner on our hands.  Let’s get to it.

 

You’re going to get three options and you text in your selection of A, B or C.

Here’s Punk to open the show.  Last night he promised the most honest act in WWE history.  He sits down in the middle of the ring and says that he wouldn’t trust the people with the content of this show.  After all, they choose to live in Baltimore, Maryland.  Punk says they can’t pick what he’s going to do tonight.  He’s the best wrestler (his word) in the world and he’s beaten Cena and Mysterio within the last week.

Wins and losses still mean something and they mean he’s the #1 contender.  It’s not a debate or argument.  Based on what he’s done, it’s fact.  He wants the GM to send an E-Mail and make it official.  He’s not going anywhere until he’s named #1 contender to the WWE Championship of the World (spoken like Road Dogg used to say it).  The GM says he’ll take the demands under consideration but right now Punk needs to leave the ring.

Punk seems annoyed and there’s another E-Mail, with the GM saying it more emphatically this time.  Punk says no and makes snow angels minus the snow.  Another E-Mail says he was going to be named #1 contender later but since Punk disrespected him it’s Punk vs. Alberto for the spot later.  Punk says he’s used to people making bad decisions but Alberto has one big win which was last night.  Another E-Mail makes it a triple threat with Rey added in.  Punk is limping as he leaves.

First vote: Who does Brie Bella defend the title against?

Eve

Kelly Kelly

Beth Phoenix

Back with the results:

Eve: 11%

Kelly Kelly: 53%

Beth Phoenix: 36%

Divas Title: Brie Bella vs. Kelly Kelly

 

Cole mistakenly says Kelly is a former champion.  Brie runs early on and Nikki teases interference, allowing Brie to get in a shot and take over.  Off to the chinlock with Kelly in trouble.  Kelly starts her comeback but gets caught in a neckbreaker for two.  Kelly tries a victory roll out of the corner but Brie reverses ala Owen Hart.  That gets reversed as well though into another victory roll position and Kelly wins the title at 3:02.

Rating: C-. Well this was only about three years too late but she finally won it I guess.  She’s gotten a bit better in the ring but this isn’t much of note.  Not a horrible match but this was incredibly generic.  The Bellas were more or less done as champions though so there’s not many reasons to not make this switch.

Lawler does a quick interview post match and Kelly starts crying as she says power to the people.

Video on Bourne who can jump a lot.

Second Vote: Who does Evan Bourne face?

Jack Swagger

Mason Ryan

Sin Cara

Results say:

Jack Swagger: 19%

Mason Ryan: 51%

Sin Cara: 30%

Evan Bourne vs. Mason Ryan

 

Kind of surprised by that actually.  Ryan stalks him to start but Bourne can’t get a single thing going.  The fans chant something that sounds like Batista as he uses a lot of offense like Big Dave.  Bourne gets a dropkick in and Ryan shrugs it off.  A pair of backbreakers set up a fallaway slam and have Bourne barely able to fight back at all.

Ryan puts him on the apron where Evan is able to get some kicks in.  Jumping knee in the corner has Ryan in trouble…and never mind as he gets an easy gorilla press slam to take over again.  And then Ryan screws up by putting Bourne on the top rope in Shooting Star position.  That misses and Bourne gets an ugly small package for two.  Bourne goes up again but jumps into a Side Effect for the pin at 4:06.

Rating: C. Not bad here in what might have been Ryan’s longest singles match to date.  Bourne was kind of handicapped here but he was trying at least.  Ryan is getting better very slowly but it’s coming.  With his look and power it’s not like he has to do that much in the ring, and they’re playing to that.

Third vote: Pick Kane vs. Mark Henry’s stipulation.

Body Slam Challenge

Arm Wrestling

Over the Top Challenge

Raw Roulette is back next week.

Mark Henry vs. Kane

 

Pre match Henry says when people mess with him, they get punished, just like Big Show last night.  There are two differences between Show and Henry.  When Show walks the Earth, the Earth shakes.  When Henry walks the Earth, the people shake.  Isn’t that one difference?  Bigger isn’t better in this case.  The results are up next.

The people say:

Body Slam Challenge: 13%

Arm Wrestling: 52%

Over the Top Challenge: 35%

Uh….ok then.  If you’ve ever seen an arm wrestling match on a wrestling show, you know what’s going on here.  After a bunch of stalling we get going.  Henry drills Kane once he was in trouble for the DQ.  They brawl a bit and Henry hits him with the table.  Henry takes him to the floor and hits the World’s Strongest Slam through the table like he did to Big Show last night.

Truth is up next.

Here’s R-Truth to complain about how the conspiracy is still going strong.  He says that it wasn’t the computer that got him last night.  It was Little Jimmy.  And the Big Jimmy too.  He got got by Little Jimmy!  Cue Christian of all people who goes on his usual thing about how the people made him face Orton five days after winning the title.  The setbacks are due to the people, not him.

Last night though it was due to the bad refereeing.  We get a shot from last night with Christian having his foot under the ropes.  He actually does have a point in that one.  Christian demands that justice be served.  He only needs one more shot.  Truth asks how many chances he’s had.  That’s not the point though.  At least Christian has been champion.  Last night Truth got got by Little Jimmy!  Christian: “Who is Little Jimmy?”  Truth goes into his “the Little Jimmys want me to be a good R-Truth” thing but here’s Miz to interrupt again.

Miz says that he’s the only one that has a chance to complain because there was a partisan referee last night.  Christian makes fun of Miz because he was the only one not in a title match.  This turns into a bizarre three way yelling match of them shouting REALLY, RANDY, RILEY and ultimately JIMMY at each other back and forth.  This was hilarious in the weird way.  Teddy Long breaks it up and says that tonight it’s a six man main event with these three against Cena, Orton and Riley with the people picking the stipulations.

Fourth vote: Pick the stipulations for Kingston vs. Ziggler for the US Title.

2/3 falls

Vickie barred from ringside

Submission

The results say:

2/3 falls: 51%

Vickie barred from ringside: 31%

Submission: 18%

US Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston

2/3 falls here then.  Kofi is rather aggressive to start us off, taking over with relative ease.  He kicks Dolph to the floor and then stays all aggressive on him with punches and chokes.  Kofi misses a dive though and it’s time for a break.  Back and it’s 1-0 Dolph who got the fall using the Zig Zag during the break.  Dolph uses chinlocks and an armbar to keep his advantage.  Nice dropkick by the champion.

Fameasser gets two.  Dolph keeps hammering away but Kofi gets the SOS out of nowhere to make it 1-1.  Neckbreaker takes over for Dolph again and it’s back to the chinlock.  Kofi hits a slingshot to send Dolph into the post ala Hennig and takes over with strikes.  Double stomp gets two.  Dolph grabs a rollup with tights for two.  Kofi goes up and hits something similar to Delirious’ Shadows Over Hell for two.

Dolph hits the floor and grabs the belt but it misses Kofi.  Trouble in Paradise hits but they’re on the floor.  Back in that gets two as Dolph puts his fingers on the rope.  They kind of messed it up as Dolph grabbed the rope a half second late but it was called anyway.  Dolph tries to run again and this time gets a shot with the microphone for the DQ at 12:35.

Rating: C+. The third fall was better but the first two were kind of weak.  The problem for these two is that they’ve fought so many times that it’s kind of getting old.  The matches are still pretty good but we can only see them go at it so many times.  They need something else to do.

Cole rants about the people having the power tonight due to Austin and we get a clip of that being decided last week.  The computer being destroyed was kind of funny.

Fifth Vote: Pick the stipulations for the triple threat.

No DQ

Falls Count Anywhere

Submission

Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

 

Alberto says that what happened to Show and Ricardo was destiny, not bad luck.  Him winning tonight is also destiny.  The results and the other entrances are next.

No DQ: 23%

Falls Count Anywhere: 66%

Submission: 11%

Rey grabs rollups on both guys to start us off.  Standard triple threat style here with one guy being down while the other two do their thing.  We head to the floor with Punk hitting a powerbomb for two on Alberto.  Seated senton off the apron gets two on Punk.  Back and Rey takes over on Punk getting some covers off a headscissors.  Alberto takes Rey down and it’s heel vs. heel for awhile.

GTS doesn’t work but Alberto gets his Codebreaker to the arm for two.  Rey comes back in and gets a rana on Alberto to set up the 619.  Punk is put in the same position but he catches Rey in the GTS.  Alberto breaks that up and Punk kicks him in the head for two.  Tower of Doom spot sees Alberto powerbomb Punk who suplexes Rey.  Covers get two on both guys.

Del Rio takes over but misses a charge, ramming his shoulder into the post.  Rey sets for a dive on him but Punk breaks it up.  A charging Punk eats feet and Rey hits something like a Swanton before immediately popping up and hitting a suicide dive to take Alberto out.  Rey gets a seated senton for two.  They go to the corner and Rey is knocked into the cross armbreaker.  Punk drops a leg on Alberto to break it up and get two.  Rey takes Alberto down and hits the springboard splash.  Punk pops back in and sends Rey into the post so he can steal the pin on Alberto at 11:35.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent match here with them doing a lot of the usual stuff that you would expect them to in a triple threat.  Not bad here and Punk winning is right, but I kind of fail to see the point in having Rey out there.  If Punk already beat him once, why would he be in this match?  Either way, not bad.

Punk talks about his honesty thing.  He’ll win the title on July 17 at Money in the Bank.  That day is also significant due to it being the day his contract expires.  He’s leaving after it and he’s taking the title with him.  That’s a new one.

Sixth vote: Pick the stipulation for Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan.

Paper Bag Match

No Count Out

Collegiate Rules Match

Daniel Bryan vs. Cody Rhodes

 

Paper Bag Match: 43%

No Count Out: 51%

Collegiate Rules Match: 6%

Not exactly the best set of options here.  Bryan kicks him to the floor almost immediately and gets a suplex onto the ramp.  It’s just no count out, not hardcore/falls count anywhere mind you.  Back in the ring a missile dropkick gets two.  Cody gets a sick looking Beautiful Disaster kick for two.  Bryan almost gets the LeBell Lock but gets caught in a slingshot instead.  Small package gets two but Bryan reverses into one of his own for the pin at 2:40.  Nothing of note here but it wasn’t bad.

LeBell Lock goes on Cody post match but DiBiase comes in for the double beatdown.  There’s an Alabama Slam to Bryan and Cross Rhodes followed by the bagging.

Seventh vote: Vickie Guerrero will have a dance contest with who?

Michael Cole

Jerry Lawler

Booker T

Before the results we recap the show so far.

Vickie says she’ll win, talking about how she used to have a bunch of dancing experience, including exotic with the stage name of peaches.  She even quotes Sable with the men who came to see me line.  Striker has to dance with her for some reason.  She kisses him and I think he liked it.  Or maybe hated it.  Leaning more towards hated it.

Here are the results of the poll.

Michael Cole: 47%

Jerry Lawler: 39%

Booker T: 14%

Well sure why not.  Cole has way too much fun doing this, even throwing in the Worm (kind of) and the Spinarooni (about as good as you would expect).  Oddly enough Cole gets a better reaction and wins the thing.  Vickie slaps the taste out of his mouth post match.

Eighth vote: The stipulations for the main event.

One Fall to A Finish

20 Minute Time Limit

Elimination Match

Gee I wonder which it’ll be.

Christian/R-Truth/The Miz vs. John Cena/Randy Orton/Alex Riley

 

One Fall to A Finish: 15%

20 Minute Time Limit: 6%

Elimination Match: 79%

The bell is after the break.  Miz vs. Cena start us off which goes nowhere for the most part.  Off to Orton and Christian as we keep our brand representation balanced.  They keep hammering on Orton’s head to play up the concussion aspect.  Truth throws on a chinlock and Randy can’t make a rope for a good while.  A suplex gets him out of it though but Christian blocks the tag.

Killswitch and RKO both are countered and a reverse DDT gets two.  Spear is caught in a powerslam and it’s hot tag to Riley.  Riley actually cleans some house on all three guys and escapes the Killswitch.  He almost gets the inverted DDT on Miz and Christian but gets caught in a double team.  Cena comes in and the distraction allows Miz to get the Skull Crushing Finale to go up 3-2 and we take a break.

Back with Orton being covered for two by Miz off a move we didn’t see.  Orton gets a shot in and it’s off to Cena.  Here’s the finishing sequence on Miz but the AA is blocked.  Neckbreaker gets two for Miz.  Running clothesline in the corner hits and Miz goes up.  He misses a double axe but jumps into the STF.  Truth makes the save though and everything breaks down for a bit.

Everyone gets a shot or two in on Cena until it’s off to Truth.  Sitout gordbuster gets two.  Cena gets a fisherman’s suplex to break the momentum and it seems like they mess something up as Cena lays there like a foot from Orton for about ten seconds but he never makes it.  Off to Miz who walks into the AA to make it 2-2.  Truth comes in and throws on a chinlock for a bit.

Off to Christian who misses a top rope splash/headbutt to put both guys down.  Double tags bring in Truth and Orton.  Powerslam to the nutjob and Orton goes all psycho.  Elevated DDT hits.  Christian breaks up the RKO and Truth misses an axe kick.  RKO gets us down to the Super Best Friends vs. Christian.  Orton walks into a spear and Christian pins him.  He walks into the AA but grabs the rope to escape.  The sore loser known as Randy Orton hits an RKO, allowing the STF to end Christian at 20:00.

Rating: C-. Not horrible here but just kind of there as a main event six man.  The twist to it helped a bit but at the same time it didn’t really mean much.  As always WWE more or less burns a week off after a PPV which is really annoying but it’s the way things work anymore.  Wasn’t impressed here and this was just ok at best.

Overall Rating: D. Did not like this at all for the most part.  The choices were ok for awhile and then they got into the standard pattern of two options that suck and one good one which is more or less a guaranteed pick.  Other than Punk vs. Cena being set up, there wasn’t much that actually happened tonight and for the second three hour Raw in a row, that’s not a good thing.  Really not a fan here and the whole thing fell pretty flat.

Results

Kelly Kelly b. Brie Bella – Victory Roll

Mason Ryan b. Evan Bourne – Sit Out Rock Bottom

Kane b. Mark Henry in an arm wrestling match via DQ when Henry punched Kane

Kofi Kingston b. Dolph Ziggler – Kingston won the third fall by DQ when Ziggler hit him with the microphone

Daniel Bryan b. Cody Rhodes – Small Package

Randy Orton/John Cena/Alex Riley b. R-Truth/Christian/The Miz – STF to Christian

Capitol Punishment 2011
Date: June 19, 2011
Location: Verizon Center, Washington D.C.
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Jerry Lawler

Time for another B show PPV.  The main events are Orton vs. Christian III and Cena vs. Truth for the titles.  This has a bit of a better feel to it than Over the Limit, but I’m not sure if that’s going to be enough to carry them to a better result.  At least the main event is fresh and the other one has been well built.  Can’t ask for much more than that.  Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Truth and his alleged conspiracy complete with videos of various other scandals and conspiracies in Washington DC, such as Clinton and Nixon.

The set is pretty cool looking as it looks like the Capitol Building.

US Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler

 

The red white and blue ropes are a nice touch.  These two have had so many matches that it’s hard for them to not have a decent match.  Kofi goes into his usual controlled frenzy (coming soon to a t-shirt near you) but the kick misses.  Dolph takes over with his basic stuff.  Dropkick takes Kofi down as we make Vickie is fat jokes.  We hear about Dolph at Kent State because we haven’t heard about that in a few minutes.  Kofi gets a cradle for a quick two and that’s about it for this run on offense.

Off to an armbar by Dolph and there’s the sleeper but Kofi gets out of it rather quickly.  Kofi starts his series of strikes and takes over.  He hits a cross body to the back which is kind of weird but whatever.  Boom Drop hits and he loads up Trouble in Paradise which misses, but he does grab the SOS for two.  Both guys get rollups for two and the Zig Zag doesn’t work.  Kofi gets something like a double stomp for two.

Up to the corner they go with Dolph trying a superplex.  Kofi knocks him off and hits the huge cross body which always looks awesome but it only gets two here.  Another SOS is countered into the Sleeper which is countered again.  Trouble in Paradise and the Zig Zag miss but Vickie rakes the eyes of Kofi and there’s the Sleeper in the middle of the ring.  Dolph kicks off the ropes to get them back into the middle of the ring and somehow that’s all cool and Dolph is champion.  Well of course not as that would mean consistency in the rules.  Dolph Ziggler is a freaking Triple Crown Champion.

Rating: B-. The ending was a bit confusing as they took too long to announce the winner.  Also the ropes aspect was pretty stupid since Dolph touched them which is usually grounds for a break, but here it’s not because that goes against the planned finish.  Good match though as these two know each other so well so it was a big match of counters and avoiding finishers, which is always fun.

Truth arrives with the title and says that he’s going to a party and Josh is invited.  They walk around and Truth runs into Eve who says she doesn’t know him anymore.  He goes all psycho and dedicates the upcoming win to all the little Jimmys and Jennys.

Miz is tired of hearing about Riley.  He won the world title and he won in the main event of Wrestlemania while Riley was carrying the briefcase.  There’s a line between them and tonight he’s going to prove that.  Serious but good stuff here.

We recap Miz vs. Riley.  It’s the classic mentor/mentee feud with them being all cool until Miz lost the title, which made him blame Riley when things started going downhill.  Riley technically cost Miz the title twice and Riley snapped and massacred Miz a few times on Raw, setting up this match.

The Miz vs. Alex Riley

 

Miz has the case with him now and actually comes out first.  The balloons saying AWESOME are back which are a nice touch.  Riley is the hometown boy so he’s pretty well received.  Cole goes into full on Miz is AWESOME mode, cheering for everything he says and bashing Riley completely.  Miz talks trash and Riley hammers away.  Riley chases him for a bit but charges into a big boot to give Miz the advantage.

The beating begins and Riley is in trouble.  Miz keeps backing away from the punches Riley tries to throw and keeps the advantage.  Low DDT gets two.  Miz likes to throw boots.  Other than that quick opening Riley has gotten beaten pretty badly here.  Riley gets a shoulder into the corner but a second hits the post.  About the 10^th big boot of the match puts Riley down outside.

Miz more or less stalks him and lets Riley miss punch after punch.  One of them finally hits and here’s the comeback.  And scratch that as Miz grabs a chinlock and brings Riley right back down.  Corner clothesline by Miz as Riley is in big trouble.  Double axe off the top by Miz hits which is a pretty rare sight.  Riley goes into the Tree of Woe as King praises him for his ability to punch.

Booker keeps calling for the match to be stopped but Riley gets out of the way of a charging Miz to send Miz’s balls into the post ala Curt Hennig.  Riley hits a spear and takes over.  I’m so over that move it’s unreal.  Spinebuster gets two.  Miz sends him to the floor, only for Riley to get in another shot for two.

Out to the floor we go as Cole runs his mouth even more.  Riley finally has had enough of him and there goes Cole.  Miz gets all ticked off and gets the briefcase which of course doesn’t get him anymore.  Riley grabs an inverted DDT (Edgecution) and gets the clean pin on the Miz.  Never would have seen that one coming at all.

Rating: C+. Rather surprised here as Miz would have seemed to be the pick to win this one.  Either way you can’t say that they’re not trying to push someone else.  I can’t imagine this is the end of the feud and I hope it isn’t, as Miz and Riley have an actual feud between them which helps a lot.

Sgt. Slaughter is in the back with….oh let’s just get it over with.  It’s a bad Obama impersonator and he makes Obamacare jokes and Vickie comes up to him and sings Happy Father’s Day before the Secret Service guys take him away.  This was idiotic.  At least get a guy that looks like him.

We recap Big Show vs. Alberto.  It’s more or less the same video we’ve seen a dozen times now with Show being run over (yet somehow being fine three weeks later) and then going insane on everyone in sight.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Big Show

 

Show jumps Alberto during his entrance and the beating begins.  After a few seconds of that, here’s Mark Henry to jump Show, sending him onto the announce table and hitting the World’s Strongest Slam through it.  I don’t think the bell ever rang.  Henry comes back and works on the knee of Show for like a second, apparently reinjuring his knee.  The referee starts the count.  HOW IS THIS NOT A FREAKING DISQUALIFICATION???  Unbelievable.  They’re actually letting this go on because the bell never rang.

Show gets in at like 8 and we’re going to do this.  The bell rings once Show is already in the ring after an 8 as there had to be a rule broken in there somewhere.  Del Rio goes after the knee and gets Show down but his cover completely fails.  Show gets a wicked chokeslam to send Del Rio to the floor.  Show’s leg is done though so he can’t follow up.  Del Rio goes up top but jumps into another chokeslam attempt.

Del Rio gets a kick to the knee again though and tries the Cross Armbreaker.  You know, because he’s worked on the arm so much.  Can’t stand idiotic thought like that.  Show easily counters but takes another shot to the leg and Del Rio throws on a Cross Legbreaker to put Show in trouble.  Show gets out of the hold and fights up.  Actually he tries to but keeps falling down and they stop it.  What a freaking mess.

Rating: D-. What a freaking mess this was.  So somehow the referee is all cool with Henry destroying Show like that and just lets the match go on before stopping it due to Show not being able to stand up?  Just a huge mess the entire time and it came off like a total trainwreck.  This is the flaw in Show: you have to do stupid stuff like this to make him seem even remotely beatable and it gets a bit annoying.

Truth rants a bit more about name plates on the belt or something.

Wade Barrett does the always cool walking promo, talking about how he doesn’t like being in DC.  Insert Anthony Weiner joke here.  He makes fun of America and the national debt, saying all of us will be speaking Chinese in about twenty years.  Oh and we need a king of queen.  America is a hollow shell, just like Jackson.

Intercontinental Title: Ezekiel Jackson vs. Wade Barrett

 

There’s the required USA chant from the idiot fans.  Jackson almost gets the Rack about a minute in but Barrett hits the floor to hide.  Barrett gets a big boot in the corner to take over for two.  Boss Man Slam gets two also.  Pumphandle slam works on the second attempt and Barrett keeps his dominance going.  A running big boot misses though and Jackson starts his comeback.

Another charge misses for Barrett but he blocks the slams.  Wasteland hits and it only gets two.  Barrett’s face is great as he is SHOCKED.  There’s the USA chant again to waste some intelligence.  Here come the slams and Jackson is all fired up.  Torture Rack goes on and we have a new champion.

Rating: C-. Not much here as Jackson did what he needed to but it was still pretty boring.  Not sure where he goes with it either but he needed to win a title to validate himself I guess.  Barrett has already proven himself so the title doesn’t mean much to him anymore.  Not bad but kind of dull overall.

Lawler goes to ask Jackson how it feels to win and he talks about declaring independence or something like that.

More stupid Obama stuff with Beth, Kelly and Santino meeting the bad impersonator.  Santino teaches him the Cobra and the Secret Service panics, taking down Santino.

Punk talks about how DC is corrupt and everyone lies.  He’s not a liar though and makes fun of the term sports entertainer.  Rey isn’t a hero and is just trying to get rich, like everyone else.  Punk is different because he tells you he’s using you.  After he beats Rey, he’s going to do the most honest thing the WWE Universe has ever seen.  Interesting.

Rey Mysterio vs. CM Punk

 

Loud Punk chant by the smark crowd.  Basic back and forth stuff to start as Cole talks about how all of Punk’s tattoos have meaning.  He doesn’t say what those meanings are but they have meanings.  They trade strikes until Rey sends him to the floor and hits a baseball slide.  A seated senton off the ropes is countered into a hot shot into the barrier by Punk who takes over.

Surfboard goes on by Punk as I smile because Rey is screaming.  Rey tries to speed things up but walks into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to set up that body scissors that Punk uses rather often.  Rey gets him into the 619 position, only to have his head taken off by a Punk clothesline.  Abdominal stretch goes on and Punk has to lean WAY down to get that hold on.  Drop toehold sends Punk’s nose into the buckle, only to get caught in the Tree of Woe.  Little masked freak deserves it.

Rey sends him to the floor and a big old Asai Moonsault takes Punk down.  Punk is shaking his hand like he lost some feeling in it for a bit.  Back in and Mysterio gets something resembling a top rope shoulder block for two.  Punk rotates through the spinning cross body for two.  They speed things up and it turns into a kick off.  Swinging kick to the head gets two for Rey.

Belly to back off the top gets two for Punk who is still shaking his arm and hand a bit.  Rey goes up but a splash eats knees which gets two for Punk.  CM calls for the GTS and fires off some knees but the GTS is countered into a hurricanrana.  A kick to the head gets two for Punk as the crowd is finally getting into this.  Another GTS is countered into the 619 but Punk grabs that into the GTS for the pin, his second on PPV since he beat Taker via submission and both have been over Rey.

Rating: B+. Good match here as these two definitely have chemistry together.  Punk’s speech pre-match is rather interesting as I’m curious as to what the most honest thing in the WWE is and given Punk, that could be a lot.  Maybe a feud with Cena?  As in a proper one minus Nexus?  One can only hope.

We recap Christian vs. Orton, which I’m sure you know the story to by now.  Christian won the title and had to defend it five days later against Orton who won it.  Christian slowly went nuts, claiming that it was unfair and then turned heel, bashing Randy with the title.  This is match #3 in their series.  Christian’s heel turn speech is still awesome because it made perfect sense and showed him as a totally insecure guy that wasn’t as confident as he made himself up to be which is the most common criticism of him: he’s overrated.

Smackdown World Title: Randy Orton vs. Christian

 

Orton comes out first here which is kind of surprising.  We get big match intros and they actually check for weapons.  There’s an old school move for you.  First two matches in this series were great so hopefully they can keep that up here.  Orton takes over to start with a bunch of punches and his back arching Thesz Press.  They speed things up and Orton gets two off a shoulder block.

Orton keeps avoiding Christian’s stuff including swatting away a dropkick and casually moving away to let Christian crash to the floor on a dive.  Back in the ring and Orton hits nine punches in the corner.  Always something odd about him I guess.  Booker tries to play up the idea that Orton is shaky due to his recent concussion.  Christian puts Orton head first into the steps and his eyes are starting to mess up.

Christian takes over and works on the neck/head, getting a neckbreaker for two.  Spinebuster gets two.  Orton’s head is all messed up now but he manages to whip Christian into the corner to buy himself a few seconds.  Backdrop puts Christian down and Orton pounds away on the chest.  Christian keeps fighting back with shots to the head and heads to the floor.

That doesn’t last long as Orton pulls him back to the apron and then hits a superplex for two.  RKO and Killswitch are both broken up and Orton hits that powerbomb into a neckbreaker that he hasn’t used in years but is still an awesome looking move for two.  Killswitch doesn’t work again so they head to the corner where Orton blocks a good deal of stuff and hits the elevated DDT for two.

Orton goes into his zone but the RKO is countered into a reverse DDT for two.  I love how they keep playing up the history they have with all of these counters to signature moves because they’re so familiar with each other.  Spear misses and Orton tries another RKO but Christian reverses that for the third time and hits the spear for a close two.  Orton pops up with a dropkick to send Christian back into the corner but he walks into the pendulum kick but there’s the RKO out of nowhere and we’re done.  Totally abrupt ending.  Christian’s foot was under the ropes.

Rating: B. Good match but not as good as last month at Over the Limit.  The ending hurt it a bit but I really liked the storytelling they were doing here with the head injury and the counters that went with it.  Good stuff here and they have good chemistry together.  The foot under the ropes might lead to something else but I doubt it.

Christian protests post match but gets decked with the belt anyway.

It’s 10:02 and there’s one match left.  They almost have to throw something out there to fill in time.  They stay in the ring for a LONG time, probably trying to kill off some time.  We see the replay about three times and the foot is clearly under the ropes which Booker and Jerry say is too close to call.

Ad for Money in the Bank which is set up like a fairy tale read by Big Show to Horny who says again after it’s over.  A bit more creative I guess.  The theme song is Shane’s old theme.

Here are the Bellas with some guy named Keith Stone who apparently is a mild celebrity due to something about beer.  They don’t talk or do anything so that’s it.

Recap of Cena vs. Truth.  Truth says that the fans are lied to by Cena and that there’s a big conspiracy going on against Truth.  Everyone else says Truth is nuts, which might be true.  This seems to be the same video from the opening video.

Ah ok there’s a bonus match.  This will help a lot.

Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne

 

The fans want Ryder again.  Let it go already people.  Basic power vs. speed here with no one caring but it’s hard to complain about free wrestling.  Bourne does his speed moves to fly around everywhere and confuse Swagger but Jack catches him and works on the ribs.  We hit the reverse chinlock as the Bellas are in the front row with the beer dude.

Swagger does the pushup on the chest of Bourne which apparently ticks the small man off.  A back body drop of all things gets two for Jack.  Vader Bomb gets two.  Bourne starts his comeback with his usual kicks and basic offense.  He loads up the Shooting Star but has to jump off due to Swagger being up.  Big boot gets two.

Spinning DDT gets two and Bourne busts out the kicks.  Pretty awesome finishing sequence as Bourne sets for the Shooting Star but lands on his feet.  Swagger gets a sweet running charge into the gutwrench powerbomb which is countered into a sunset flip into the ankle lock which Bourne rolls through for the pin.

Rating: B-. I liked this quite a bit actually but I’m a fan of power vs. speed.  This was just a bonus match and it ate up about ten minutes, making the main event far more realistic with about twenty minutes instead of closer to thirty or thirty five.  That finishing sequence was rather good and the whole thing worked rather well, especially when it’s just a bonus.  Can’t complain about free wrestling, especially when it’s pretty good.

And now let’s end this interesting stuff as we have Obama impersonator come out for Vince’s amusement.  The SNL guy looks more like Obama than this one does.  He has the speech pattern down but he doesn’t sound anything like Obama.  He isn’t the GM because there would be more JR.  “I love that fat bastard.”    He wishes Cena luck and the booing is unreal.

He tries to leave but Booker calls him into the ring, calling him a homey.  The guy gets in the ring and just get the Spinarooni out of the way already.  Yep there it is.  It isn’t funny, no one cares, and this wastes more time.

We recap Cena vs. Truth again in case you forgot about it.  This video is different at least.

Raw World Title: R-Truth vs. John Cena

 

Truth has the belt but Cena is champion.  As scary as it is, I could see Truth getting the title here.  Big match intros set up a mixed reaction for Cena as always.  Feeling out process to start but Truth gets in a shot to take over.  Cena sends him to the floor and we stall a bit.  AA doesn’t work and Truth hits a sitout gordbuster to get two.  The dueling chants keep going as Truth gets a kick in for two.

Truth does a You Can’t See Me knockoff which ended in a legdrop for two.  Spinning forearm gets two.  Cena pulls himself up using Truth’s body.  Truth says Cena can’t see him.  This is kind of a slow paced match as Truth’s offense isn’t all that great.  Big hip toss gets two.  Lawler thinks Cena hasn’t taken Truth seriously enough.  Cena gets up but can’t get the STF, only to get kicked down again by Truth.

Suplex gets two.  This is a pretty dull match actually.  Cena starts his comeback with the shoulder blocks.  Five Knuckle Shuffle hits but Truth escapes the AA and hits the suplex into the Stunner “which we’ve NEVER seen before!”  Truth talks to himself a lot but misses a charge in the corner and there’s the STF.  Truth grabs the rope rather quickly though and the axe kick hits out of nowhere for two.  Cena was out fast.

Truth goes up for a cross body but Cena rolls through into the AA attempt.  Truth counters that into the jumping Downward Spiral for two.  Cena hits the floor which would seem to set up something fishy.  Truth goes out to the other side and is looking all crazy.  He steals a hat from a Cena fan and gets a drink of water.  The fan throws the water in Truth’s face!  The distraction is enough for Cena to pull him in and hit the AA to retain!

Rating: D+. Pretty dull match here overall and I wasn’t into it for the most part.  It’s not horrible but it’s just not interesting.  The water going into his face is kind of a nice touch given that Truth did that to a kid on Raw a few weeks ago but at the same time it really wasn’t anything interesting.  Total B show PPV match here and I can’t imagine it’ll go any further, not after Cena beat him clean.

Cena brings the kid into the ring post match and celebrates with the National Guard to end the show.

Rating: C-. This was a pretty weak show overall.  It’s not bad to be sure but overall it feels kind of like it just came and went.  I know I say this a lot but this is a show that would be perfect for the In Your House model.  It’s a B show PPV and that might be being generous.  Cena vs. Truth is a match that’s had a few weeks of build and for the most part, I can’t imagine it continuing after this.  This didn’t feel like an important show at all and while it was ok, it was nothing I’ll ever want to watch again.  That happens far too often in WWE anymore and it’s not good.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Kofi Kingston – Sleeper

Alex Riley b. The Miz – Inverted DDT

Albert Del Rio b. Big Show – Referee Stoppage

Ezekiel Jackson b. Wade Barrett – Torture Rack

CM Punk b. Rey Mysterio – GTS

Randy Orton b. Christian – RKO

Evan Bourne b. Jack Swagger – Victory Roll

John Cena b. R-Truth – Attitude Adjustment

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 13, 2011
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Long Island, New York
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

This is a three hour show and billed as WWE All-Stars.  The guest GM for the night is Steve Austin so expect some extra fans to be brought in because of him.  It’s also the final show before Capitol Punishment so the final push towards that should happen tonight.  Cena and Truth will probably interact a good deal tonight which should be entertaining.  Let’s get to it.

Cena vs. Punk in the main event.  Oh joy.  The graphics are from the All-Stars game.

Here’s Miz to open the show looking awesome as usual.  Miz says he’s the all time WWE All-Star because he won in the main event on the flagship show last week.  Then again you would have to be a moron to know that.  You know, like Alex Riley.  The crowd does the WHAT thing and Miz makes fun of them for it, saying it was cool in 2001.  No it wasn’t but we’ll let that slide.

Miz calls out Austin and wants to know why every time he looks up there’s Austin or Rock or someone from the Attitude Era trying to steal his spotlight.  Austin owes him an apology apparently and here he is.  Austin gets in his face about his suit and his hair and various other things.  The night the Tough Enough cast debuted Miz came out here and ran his mouth, talking all kinds of trash.

Austin actually gives him some credit for being a silver tongued devil.  Miz tries to say something but Austin cuts him off, saying stop talking while Austin has something to say.  Austin talks about Alex Riley and says that he’s got something, saying that he might be a bigger star than Miz someday.  Miz wants to know if he can talk yet and Austin says no.  Austin asks if Miz is going to take Riley out on Sunday and then grabs him by the tie, saying that Miz and Riley need counseling.  Austin is going to provide it tonight with one Rowdy Roddy Piper tonight in this very ring.

Austin turns away slightly and says if Miz knows what’s good for him he’ll get out of here right now.  Miz backs off slowly and Austin slowly turns around on him, saying that it’s not Miz’s time to be a hero.  Miz finally leaves to solid heat.  Here’s Alberto in wrestling gear to cut off Austin again.  Del Rio does his usual intro and says it’s time for Austin to pass the torch to Del Rio.

He talks about destiny of course and Austin isn’t all that impressed.  He says he’s not much of a fortune teller but says that he sees bad things for Del Rio in the future.  Ever since Del Rio injured Big Show with his car, Del Rio has had everyone ready to bash Del Rio’s skull in, so tonight the opening match is Del Rio vs. Kane.

Kane vs. Alberto Del Rio

 

The bell is after the break.  Kane takes over to start and gets his low dropkick for two.  Del Rio goes straight for the arm of course, hitting the Codebreaker to the arm.  Kane fights out of an arm hold and goes up for the clothesline but crash lands.  Del Rio gets the cross armbreaker but can’t hook it all the way and Kane gets to the rope.  Del Rio holds onto it for the five count and the DQ at 2:50.  Not much at all here.

Alberto still won’t let go and here’s Big Show, SPRINTING to the ring to take out Alberto.  Del Rio runs so Show kills Ricardo.  Kane has to choke Big Show to get him to let go.  Austin pops up to make Big Show vs. Del Rio at the PPV.

Ricardo was taken away on a stretcher during the break.

Cody Rhodes/Wade Barrett/Ted DiBiase vs. Sin Cara/Ezekiel Jackson/Daniel Bryan

 

They to the light again as Cara and Rhodes start.  Off to Bryan quickly though who hammers on Rhodes.  The former Legacy takes Bryan down and here comes Barrett for a battle of Nexus.  Cole keeps ignoring Lawler’s jokes which might be in the best interest for all involved.  Barrett gets a crescent kick to the ribs and a pumphandle slam for two on Bryan.  Barrett drills Cara but Bryant gets the hot tag to run through Barrett.

Here come the slams which are starting to grow on me.  They’re so basic but they look good and convincing.  Torture Rack goes on but Legacy comes in for the double team save.  Jackson tosses them over the top and tosses Bryan on top of them.  Jackson takes Barrett down again and here’s Cara.  Slingshot crossbody ends this at 3:45.  Cara might have been legal for 10 seconds total.

Rating: C. Pretty basic here and they kept Cara out of the ring on a live show which more or less can’t be a bad thing at all.  He needs an actual story rather than just going out there and doing random high spots.  Either way, this was fine for what it was, which was just a way to get the Smackdown midcard on the show.

Back and here’s Horny firing t-shirts to the crowd using a cannon.  And here’s R-Truth to end that.  They’re all little Jimmy and Jennys apparently.  He wants to try but he’s going to become the new champion on Sunday.  Horny shoots him with a shirt and that doesn’t work.  Truth grabs him and….hugs him.  Ok then.  Truth shakes his hand and KICKS HIM IN THE FACE.  Awesome!  Truth does his psycho talking to Horny and here’s Austin on the big screen.  Truth has a match later with John Morrison!  He’s back!  Truth stomps on Horny again and leaves.  Lawler comes in to check on the leprechaun.

Santino Marella vs. Sheamus

 

The bell rings very quickly with no entrance for either guy.  Santino fires some kicks off to get Sheamus into the corner.  Not that any of them hit but he’s trying at least.  Sheamus takes his head off with a clothesline and hammers away, getting another clothesline for two.  Cravate goes on for a bit and then Sheamus rams him into the buckle.

Santino Italians Up and that gets him nowhere, other than in the path of another clothesline.  High Cross doesn’t work and he loads up the Cobra.  Brogue Kick misses and Santino gets the Cobra!  Naturally it gets like one and the Brogue Kick hits before Sheamus puts on a Texas Cloverleaf for the submission at 2:50.  Not much, but cool to see a new finisher.

Orton is up next.

We get the same video from Smackdown of Christian drilling Orton with the title.

Here’s Orton to a fairly tame reaction.  And Orton’s mic doesn’t work.  He wants Christian here right now and that he only wants to talk.  He won’t punt him or try an RKO.  All he wants to do is talk.  Orton says don’t make him come back there.  He might go to the papers otherwise.

Christian pops up on the screen and says he’s earned his spot, unlike Orton who has had everything thrown on him.  He polls the fans, asking if they want him to come out here.  The fans cheer, so of course he’s not coming.  Orton says Edge isn’t here which is a shame.  Edge has been carrying Christian for 17 years so he could carry him to the ring.

That seems to be enough and here comes Christian in a new shirt.  Here he is in the arena but he stops on the ramp.  Orton goes after him but Christian makes the save.  There’s an E-Mail which says Orton has a concussion apparently.  He won’t wrestle tonight so the GM says go home.  If Orton doesn’t chill he’s stripped of the title.  Randy tries one more charge at Christian but leaves.  It wasn’t a big charge so it’s ok I guess.  Austin pops up on the screen and makes Christian vs. Rey Mysterio next.

Christian vs. Rey Mysterio

 

Booker jumps in on commentary here.  Mysterio vs. Punk on Sunday.  Haven’t we seen that a lot recently?  I guess that’s the rubber match in this mini-series so it makes sense.  Rey speeds things up to start and sends Christian down with a headscissors.  And never mind as Rey takes him down with a clothesline to take over.  Off to the chinlock which doesn’t last long.  Christian sends Rey over the top and to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Christian holding a chinlock as Rey tries to fight his way up.  Christian goes into the corner and steps on Rey….and it’s a DQ?  The bell rang at 5:40 but seriously, what the heck was that?  I’d bet on a legit accident because that made zero sense at all.  Christian goes after Rey post match but Rey knocks him off the top and sets for a splash, but here comes Punk.  Rey dives on him instead and here’s Nexus.  Rey avoids the Killswitch and knocks Christian down.  619 to Christian is blocked by Ryan who kills him by ramming him into the post and hitting a backbreaker.  Killswitch leaves Rey laying.

Rating: C. Call this right in the middle because the majority of it was in the commercial.  I’d bet on this being a mistake.  Either that or this was really stupid booking.  It felt so completely random and the post match stuff seemed like they were trying to fill in time.  I don’t get this at all but it wasn’t that bad.  I guess they want to protect both guys which makes sense at least.

Austin is on the phone when Vickie and Dolph come up.  She shouts EXCUSE ME at him and asks for a US Title shot for Dolph on Sunday.  Austin says ok on one condition: he drops Vickie as his associate.  Dolph doesn’t want to do it but Austin goes into a speech about DiBiase being his manager and Dolph reluctantly drops him.  Austin says he’s just having fun with them and leaves while Vickie makes funny noises.  So are they split up or not?

R-Truth vs. John Morrison

 

We get a quick recap of Morrison being injured by Truth.  And there’s no Morrison.  The music plays again and there’s no Morrison.  Truth says get out here and says Morrison need to unscare himself.  Truth says he’ll bring the fight to Morrison and goes into the back.  To the back we go and someone is out cold.  SHAZAM!  It’s Morrison, still down and holding his neck.  Maybe he’s not back yet.  Truth says all the Little Jimmys came here to see a great match.  Truth leaves and then comes back, crushing Morrison with an anvil case.  Truth has the funniest psycho face you’ll ever see as we go to break.

Video on Dolph Ziggler before his match.

Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne vs. Kofi Kingston

 

No pyro for Swagger’s pushups.  Vickie is with Dolph here so I guess they’re still together.  Dolph and Kofi start us off.  Kofi jumps around a lot and hits a jumping back elbow yet somehow it’s Dolph getting the cover.  Odd indeed.  Off to Swagger who gets a belly to belly for two.  Vader Bomb misses though and it’s off to Bourne.

Bourne gets some sweet jumping shots and a rollup on Swagger gets two but there’s the ankle lock.  Evan rolls through it, only for Dolph to grab his foot.  Bourne kicks him in the head while Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise to Swagger.  Picture perfect Air Bourne ends this at 2:55.  Just a quick match and not enough to grade but this was fine.

Back and it’s time for Piper’s Pit.  Yep, Piper is drunk.  Piper talks about Mania 2 where he dropped Mr. T in this ring.  Here’s Miz to say really.  Miz says he’s the next Piper, Piper says there’s never going to be another Roddy Piper.  Piper calls Miz a Roddy Piper wannabe which Miz denies, saying at least he’s been WWE Champion.  He also actually won in the main event of Wrestlemania.

Miz says he was on Real World and makes fun of They Live.  Piper says he never saw Real World because he was busy living in the Real World.  Piper says let’s talk about the future, like this Sunday.  Here’s Riley, who says that Miz never was his friend.  Piper says that gave him self respect.  Miz points out the hypocrisy of Piper getting annoyed with someone for that when he mistreated Bob Orton for all those years.

Gorilla Monsoon, King Kong Bundy, Mean Gene are all in the bottom of a well so who do you save first?  Miz has no idea what Piper is talking about.  “Just when you think you got all the answers, I CHANGE THE QUESTIONS!”  That was great.  Piper says Riley beating him will be AWESOME.  Riley says Piper can beat Miz right now.  Miz says he’ll put up $1000 that he can beat Piper right now.  Piper gets all nervous due to the age and says how about $5000?  Austin pops up and says do it.  Both guys are putting up five grand and Alex Riley is guest referee.  Hilarious as well as good segment here.

Roddy Piper vs. The Miz

 

Piper is in tights and a t-shirt while Miz is in street clothes.  Miz hammers away and Piper gets a sleeper.  Riley pulls him off and here they go.  Piper grabs a schoolboy for the pin at 1:06.

Some Divas are going to be on the Price is Right.

Tamina/Alicia Fox/Rosa Mendes/Maryse/Bella Twins/Melina vs. Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Gail Kim/Natalya/Beth Phoenix/AJ/Kaitlyn

 

If this goes past two minutes I’ll be stunned.  Kelly and Brie start but it’s off to Melina or Rosa and there’s the big brawl almost immediately.  Kelly hits the K2 on Rosa and we’re done at 1:25.  Three out of the fourteen were actually legal.

Post match Eve gets on the mic and says the Tony Awards (Broadway) were in New York last night.  They get in a line and to the Rockette kicks.  This was totally pointless.

We recap the ending to Tough Enough last week where Vince Slapped Andy and Austin stunned him.  Andy is in the back with Austin and they share a beer.  Punk comes in and makes fun of Andy.  Austin asks Andy to leave and offers Punk a beer.  They do the WHAT sequence over various types of alcohol.  Punk wants to give Austin a breathalyzer.  Punk: “Can you say the alphabet backwards?”  Austin: “I can whip you backwards.”  Huge pop for that.  No Nexus at ringside tonight.

Here’s Austin for a major announcement.  He thanks the crowd but is cut off by an E-Mail.  Cole sounds scared to death to have to read it.  Austin is sick of the GM, who says that all good things must come to an end.  The anonymous GM will be back next week on Raw.  Austin’s watch says there’s some time left so as of right now he’s still the GM.

Next week Austin won’t be the GM but next week there will be another three hour Raw and next week it’s all about the power of the people.  They’ll make all the matches and stipulations, I guess like Viewer’s Choice from when Bret was GM last year.  The GM keeps sending E-Mails and Austin gets ticked off so he chases Cole off.  DOWN GOES THE COMPUTER!  He pours beer on it and runs over it with the ATV before leaving.  Oh wait he’s back to have some beers.

Capitol Punishment ad with the press conference thing.  This one is Smackdown themed.  The jokes are kind of funny but at the same time the idea to get them here is really old.

CM Punk vs. John Cena

 

There’s a five minute overrun tonight apparently so this has a good deal of time.  Punk sits down in the middle of the ring after his entrance.  This is the first time we’ve seen Cena all night and he gets a solid reaction but it’s mainly booing.  The dueling chants are going strong quickly.  Punk goes behind Cena and that gets him nowhere.  Punk tries the GTS and Cena tries the AA but neither work and it’s a stalemate.  Cena tries the fisherman’s suplex and gets countered into being draped over the ropes as we take a break.

Back with Cena hammering away but walking into an old school abdominal stretch.  Oh and Cole is back on commentary.  Punk hits a huge dive to the floor and then with a Savage point to the roof he hits something that kind of almost resembled a double axe.  Off to a bodyscissors which Cena reverses into the STF but he can’t make it last as Punk gets the rope.  Leg lariat gets two for Punk.

Punk keeps his advantage, hitting the clothesline in the corner.  Cena reverses the bulldog though and sets the ending sequence.  He tries the shoulder block and Punk uses one of his Zen counters that he learned in his tours of Japan by calling on his ancient martial arts training: he ducks, sending Cena flying to the floor.  Why don’t more people get that?  Cena does the same to the springboard clothesline and both guys are down.  Cena starts his comeback and hits the Protoplex but here’s Truth to annoy a fan.  He offers a sip of water for the fan’s hat.  The distraction lets Punk hit the GTS for the pin at 14:00.

Rating: B. Good match here for the most part with Punk finally getting the pin that he’s never gotten (I don’t think at least) over Cena.  His reaction post match helped it a lot as he looked like he was a kid on Christmas morning.  Good stuff here between two guys that definitely have chemistry together.

Truth hits Cena with the bottle of water post match and takes the belt with him after talking some trash.

Overall Rating: C+. This wasn’t great to say the least but it wasn’t too bad.  It certainly drags at times and I really don’t get the point of the All-Stars aspect, but they needed something to fill in the Draft show that they were probably scheduled to have here.  Not horrible but at the same time there really was no need to make this a three hour show.  I’ve seen worse though, and they pushed the PPV a lot.  Not terrible, but really nothing all that great.

Results

Kane b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when Del Rio wouldn’t break the cross armbreaker

Ezekiel Jackson/Sin Cara/Daniel Bryan b. Wade Barrett/Ted DiBiase/Cody Rhodes – Springboard Crossbody to Barrett

Sheamus b. Santino Marella – Texas Cloverleaf

Rey Mysterio b. Christian via DQ when Christian would not stop choking Mysterio

Evan Bourne/Kofi Kingston b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler – Air Bourne to Swagger

Roddy Piper b. The Miz – Schoolboy

Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Gail Kim/Natalya/Beth Phoenix/AJ/Kaitlyn b. Tamina/Alicia Fox/Rosa Mendes/Maryse/Bella Twins/Melina – K2 to Mendes

CM Punk b. John Cena – GTS

Smackdown
Date: June 10, 2011
Location: Roanoke Civic Center, Roanoke, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

With Christian apparently a heel now, it should be interesting to see where he goes.  It’s pretty clear that they’re setting up for Christian/Orton III at the PPV which is probably their best bet.  Other than that there isn’t much to talk about here.  Everything seems to be going along as it always does, which is a good thing as no one can really run a TV show like Smackdown does at this point.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip of last week with Christian apparently turning heel and bashing Orton’s head in with the title.  The dramatic music is a nice touch here.

Speaking of the Canadian here he is.  He talks about how the fans that boo him get it apparently because he was screwed out of winning the championship just five days out of winning it.  He was also screwed out of being #1 contender two weeks ago so he was justified in what he did last week, which draws booing.  Christian says he is done with all the people, his so called “peeps”.  He doesn’t want to talk to them ever again.  There’s a solid evil smile on his face here too which is really selling the heel turn.

The one person he does want to talk to is sitting over here, and his name is Michael Cole.  Christian calls Cole into the ring and has something to say in general and not specifically to Cole.  Christian talks about how he doesn’t get the fans.  These are the people that went off on the internet about how he lost the title and how unfair it is but now they’re blasting him for what he did last week.  He doesn’t get how the fans cheering went.

Let’s talk about Bob in accounting.  If Bob is up for a big promotion, he should get it on the basis of his merit, not by going out and asking people on the street if he should get it.  That’s what Teddy did by asking the fans.  It’s disrespectful to Christian to have Teddy do that.  He’s been disrespected by one person in particular: Randy Orton.  A real man wouldn’t have taken that title shot five days after a ladder match.

Christian asks Cole for a favor since he’s not talking to the people.  He wants Cole to ask the people if they think he deserves to be the world heavyweight champion.  Great heat for him mentioning that.  Cole asks the fans and the booing isn’t as loud.  Wow so he has Cole beaten already.  Christian calls the fans clueless and says he’ll be champion again.  When he does it, it’ll be for himself and not for them.  With that, he leaves.  Very solid heel turn speech here as there’s total logic to what he’s saying and the delivery was great.  This was one of the better ones I can remember in a very long time.

Corre vs. Ezekiel Jackson/Usos

 

What an odd face tag team.  Jackson wants Barrett to start but gets Slater instead.  Jackson of course runs over him and brings in let’s say Jey.  Slater gets beaten from one side of the ring to the other and brings in Gabriel to face apparently Jimmy.  Does it really matter?  Gabriel is an extremist apparently.  Booker compares the Usos to Harlem Heat.  That’s a surprising pairing to be sure.

Booker spent about six months with the Usos before.  Corre speeds things up and sends the Usos to the floor and into the table.  We take a break for a don’t try this at home video.  Can’t make fun of that.  Back with Barrett stomping away at “one of the Usos” as apparently Josh can’t tell them apart either.  Boss Man Slam gets two.  Let’s say that’s Jimmy (bet that’s wrong but again does it matter?) playing Ricky Morton for awhile so I guess that makes Slater Bobby Eaton?

Hot tag to Jackson and Barrett runs off, bringing in Gabriel.  Jackson starts the slams and Barrett tries to bail.  Slater yells at him but he walks off anyway.  Slams all around and the Usos add a double superkick (how has that never been a tag team finisher?  I know the Rockers used it at times but not as a finisher) to Slater and the Torture Rack ends Gabriel at 6:45 shown of 10:15 shown.  Barrett vs. Jackson for the title at the PPV.

Rating: C. Just a run of the mill six man here to further the Corre splitting up.  Nothing wrong with that at all as I think it leads to the Jackson title reign at the PPV, which it probably should do.  Anyway, the Usos were a surprising addition here and the whole thing was fine.  Right in the middle sounds fine.

Teddy is on the phone and apparently making bets on horse racing.  Sheamus comes in and Teddy pretends that he’s talking to his wife.  I wonder if that betting thing is going anywhere.  Anyway Sheamus wants Christian tonight and Teddy says no.  Instead Teddy makes it Orton vs. Sheamus, no DQ.  Sheamus likes that as he’s smiling about it, but the visual is really weird here as the camera zooms in on his face like Teddy has left or the shot is ending but it pulls back to see Teddy just looking at him.  Unintentional comedy works every time.

Gabriel and Slater want an explanation and Barrett says they’re nothing without him.  The tag team says you’re about to find out because the Corre is done.

Trent Barreta vs. Jinder Mahal

 

I can never spell Barreta right the first time.  Always add an extra T.  Mahal’s legs are almost creepy looking from being so long.  We have the makings of another squash here and the height that Trent gets on a backdrop is great.  He gets a shot in to break Mahal’s momentum and tries what looks like a moonsault, but Khali provides the distraction.  Full nelson slam ends this at 1:29.  More or less a squash.  Vice Grip to Trent post match.

Some young clueless putz gets to talk to AJ who is all perky and cute and I can’t help but smile.  Before she gets anywhere Tamina and Rosa come up to give her cheese, because she’s a little mouse.  AJ says Laycool called and wants their gimmick back.  The evil ones say AJ will be alone tonight but Natalya comes up and the heels leave.

Tamina vs. AJ

 

AJ has music now.  Tamina tries to overpower her but AJ gets a quick dropkick in.  That gets her nowhere so Tamina slams her and we hit the armbar.  Booker flat out says he can’t focus because of Rosa’s short dress in front of him.  Sounds far less creepy than Lawler here.  Apparently Natalya took AJ and Kaitlyn paintballing.  Think Cole has fun with that line?  Tamina puts her in a fireman’s carry but yells at Natalya too much and AJ rolls down her back and gets a rollup for the pin at 2:00.  Dang she has nice abs.

We see a shorter version of the opening video about Christian to set up this.

Here’s Orton but this isn’t for his match apparently.  He wants Christian to come out here right now and explain this.  Christian pops up on the screen and says ask the fans if that’s what they want.  He imitates Teddy in a funny bit and says he’s not coming out here.  Christian wants one more match but Orton says he doesn’t care.

Christian talks about how he could have counted Orton down last week but didn’t want to face Sheamus for the title.  He wants Orton, because he knows he can beat him.  Orton wants Christian RIGHT NOW but Christian says on his terms, not anyone else’s.  They make the match at Capitol Punishment.  Christian gets in his car and leaves, more or less guaranteeing he’ll be here for later.

DiBiase and Rhodes make Anthony Weiner jokes.  Cody wants to know if he can call the shots out there tonight and Ted takes exception.  Rhodes talks about having money and women in Legacy and Ted says then you got your face messed up and went nuts.  Cody casually shouts for a bagger and has the bagger put the bag on his own (the bagger’s) head.  Cody says he’s not nuts but prematurely enlightened.  Now he feels free and while he may be nuts, he may also be a genius.  This was odd to say the least.

Sin Cara vs. Ted DiBiase

 

I’d have bet on this being the tag that was more or less set up last week.  No Bryan in sight but Cody and the baggers are with Ted here.  There go the lights which I don’t get.  It kind of made sense for Kane but I don’t get it at all with Cara.  Fast start of course as Cara gets a pretty awesome but completely overdone armdrag.  Ted gets a boot up in the corner to take Cara down.  Cara gets in a shot and sets for a springboard something but Cody pulls him down and it’s a DQ at 1:50.

 

Bryan runs out for the save and Teddy makes the tag match.

Daniel Bryan/Sin Cara vs. Ted DiBiase/Cody Rhodes

 

Well at least they didn’t waste much of our time on the one on one.  There’s a break before the match.  The match is in progress when we come back with Bryan hitting an arm drag to DiBiase.  LeBell Lock can’t go on as Ted runs to the corner and brings in Cody.  Cody gets in an argument with the referee and walks into a missile dropkick by Cara.  Cara gets sent shoulder first into the post and here comes Rhodes.

Never mind as it’s off to Ted.  He only came a little.  Make your own jokes there.  Ted works on the injured arm but gets caught in a cross armbreaker.  Cara rolls it into the ropes though so it doesn’t really mean anything.  Cody comes in and works on the arm while the referee speaks Spanish.  Single arm DDT gets two.  This match is awkward for some reason and I can’t put my finger on why.

Ted works on the arm now as we talk about Booker getting back in the ring on Monday.  Back off to Cody as I think the problem is the former Legacy isn’t staying in long enough to make anything work really.  Cara tries to speed it up and hits an enziguri to put Cody down.  Double tags to Bryan and DiBiase and Bryan takes over.  Even Cole is complimenting him here.  Cara hits a suicide dive to take Cody out and Bryan jumps off the middle rope into a guillotine and then into the LeBell Lock for the tap at 6:30.

Rating: C-. I didn’t like this at all for the most part but it was technically fine.  The formula was there for the most part but I couldn’t get into it at all.  The rating is probably low but at the same time it just didn’t draw me in at all.  Very awkward match for some reason which I think might have been due to Cara and Bryan never really being on offense other than at the end and a brief bit at the beginning.

 

Johnny Curtis has a chip on his shoulder.  Like a potato chip.  He eats the chip and that’s about it.  I spent 15 weeks watching NXT for this.  I hate my life, I have my life.

 

Orton talks about his past anger management issues and says this match will help him.

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

 

No DQ remember.  Sheamus goes straight at him like a good monster heel and hammers him down.  Orton gets his non-Thesz Press to take over.  They head to the floor as Orton sends Sheamus into the barricade.  Sheamus hammers away but Orton gets a dropkick up to block the slingshot shoulder block and we head back to the floor.  He puts Sheamus’ head on the steps and tries to stomp down but since that would more or less kill him, Sheamus pulls him down and rams Orton’s head into the steps as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus having that crossface chickenwing on but shifting to a chinlock rather quickly.  Ok back to the crossface.  Pick a hold dude.  Orton fires off a headbutt of all things to escape.  Sheamus takes him down again and back to the same hold.  There’s the slingshot shoulder for two.  Again with the chickenwing but now it’s off to a regular chinlock one more time.

Ok make that a headlock.  At least this time Orton gets a belly to back to break up the monotony.  Orton hammers him down and it’s a slugout again.  Orton fires off and hits his powerslam but Sheamus heads to the floor.  Sheamus is sent into the barricade but reverses to send Orton into the steps.  Both guys are down but it’s Sheamus up first.  Into the ring and Sheamus brings the steps with him.

Orton counters with the backbreaker for two.  The steps are pulled into the middle of the ring but Sheamus pulls him into the middle buckle and stomps away.  Austin would be proud of those.  Sheamus can’t powerslam Orton onto the steps but Orton gets one onto them to put the pale one down.  The steps are shoved aside and Sheamus hits the Irish Curse for two.

Sheamus heads to the floor and pulls out a kendo stick.  He beats the tar out of Orton with it but can only get two.  The crowd is rapidly getting into this.  Sheamus throws the stick away and sets for the Brogue Kick.  Orton avoids it though and Sheamus’ foot is caught in the ropes.  Randy picks up the stick and unloads on Sheamus, hitting probably twenty shots or so.  Orton has that crazy look in his eyes and it’s the elevated DDT.

He loads up the RKO but Christian runs in.  He can’t hit the Killswitch though and Randy can’t hit the RKO.  Sheamus takes Randy’s head off with a running double axe handle and it’s time for the High Cross.  Orton escapes and ducks the Brogue Kick.  RKO hits but Christian blasts him with the belt and Sheamus crawls on top for the pin at approximately 17:12 shown of 21:14.  The video was jumping around a lot on the site I was using so this is as good of a guess as I can give it.

Rating: B+. I rather liked this as they didn’t have a really boring part other than in the very middle with Sheamus using a ton of rest holds.  Still though it worked rather well as they’ve apparently figured out how to not bore us to tears.  The ending here works also because Orton had the win until Christian interfered.  I like this ending as it makes Christian seem like he’s getting under his skin through action instead of doing whatever Anderson is trying to do to Sting at the moment.  Fun and solid match.

Christian holds up the belt to end the show.

 

Overall Rating: B. Good show but a step down from last week.  They continue to have the perfect pacing as far as matches to promos and we got a ton of wrestling here.  Not as good as last week but still quite good, especially with the majority of stuff already set up for the PPV, which is the main idea at this point.  Good show but not great.