NXT
Date: June 7, 2011
Location: Roanoke Civic Center, Roanoke, Virginia
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal

I think we’re in week fourteen here, which means we’re a week shy of this being as long as any other season of this show.  We have four people left so at least this is getting close to being done.  I’m not sure what else they can do with these four left because we’ve watched them fight time after time now.  They had a new idea last week so maybe they’ll surprise me.  Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Maryse and how the guys on this season have been obsessed with her and fighting over her.  The idea here is that Cannon has Maryse in his corner so he has an advantage.  Good to see someone other than O’Neil looking like they have a chance here.

JTG is in the ring here for a talk show segment apparently.  Oh joy.  It’s called Straight Outta Brooklyn apparently.  The guest is Yoshi Tatsu, because they’re the two pros whose rookies are gone.  Apparently people blame Yoshi for Saxton being gone.  They do the thing where Yoshi is asked questions and the mic is pulled away before he can answer.  We talk about Maryse and how she dumped Yoshi because he has no game (JTG: “I got more game than THQ.”)  Yoshi makes a Yo Mama joke because this is apparently the mid 90s.  JTG jumps him as he’s leaving, likely setting up a match later.  Striker makes said match.

Yoshi Tatsu vs. JTG

The match is joined in progress.  JTG hits a knee to the ribs for two and actually works on the ribs.  Yoshi misses some chops and gets taken down again.  JTG hits Jay Lethal’s Lethal Injection neckbreaker for two.  Regal mentions that next week is an elimination.  That’s a good sign at least.  Yoshi fights up and strikes away, including a spinwheel kick to take JTG down.  A big high kick misses though and JTG takes him down again.  Yoshi fights back up and hits the aforementioned high kick to end this at 5:31 shown.

Rating: C. Match was ok, but at the end of the day it’s Yoshi Tatsu vs. JTG.  This match redefines low stakes.  It wasn’t too bad or anything, but JTG is supposed to be a heel here and I tend to be more intimidated by a riled up cocker spaniel than him.  Also great to see that a show about the rookies has gone over ¼ of it already with zero mention of them other than in a video which is mainly about Maryse.

Capitol Punishment ad wastes even more time.  The only good part here is that when Regal is “woken up” the first thing he says is I didn’t know you were married.  This guy saves this show week in and week out.  When I say saves I mean he keeps it on the TV in the 5^th circle of torment rather than the 9^th.

HOKEY SMOKE IT’S ONE OF THE ROOKIES!!!  O’Brian tries to break a board with his head….and he’s talking to Horny who hurts his head trying to break a board.  Titus and Vlad come up so O’Neil picks up Horny and rams his head through the board.  I hate my life.  I truly do.

Chavo Guerrero/Darren Young vs. Vladimir Kozlov/Conor O’Brian

I have a very bad feeling that they’re going to have O’Brian sneak in the back and win this somehow.  He’s the least interesting and the worst wrestler out of all these guys which means he’s probably the favorite.  First match between the rookies starts up over halfway into the show.  I guess that’s required though.  Have to hit the JTG fanbase.  Young and Vlad start us off with Kozlov taking him down to the mat almost immediately.

Off to the cure with insomnia with sideburns who gets two on Young.  Chavo comes in and hammers away but that’s too interesting so let’s bring Young back in again.  Chavo hits a slingshot hilo ala Eddie for two.  Conor hits an elbow and we head to the floor, only for Chavo to beat Conor back in and hit a slingshot axe handle to take him down again.  We take a quick break and come back with Young getting two on Conor.

Vlad finally gets the hot tag and gets double teamed because Conor thinks there’s nothing wrong with letting him fight off two guys at once and losing any momentum they had.  Some lunkhead fan tries to get a Vlad chant going and it completely fails.  The pros come in so it’s at least borderline interesting.  Off to Young again as they work on the back of Kozlov for awhile.

Neckbreaker takes Kozlov down for two.  We hit the chinlock because someone thought giving these guys over ten minutes was a good idea.  Front facelock wastes some more time.  Double tags bring in both rookies as I think we’re finally getting close to the ending here.  Flapjack takes Young down for two.  Young gets up and hits his fireman’s carry into a backbreaker for the pin on O’Brian at 12:10.

Rating: D+. Well they were trying I guess but Young and O’Brian just aren’t interesting.  That’s all there is to it: I have no desire to see them have any match at all.  Young was dull in Nexus and he’s dull here.  O’Brian is supposed to be this guy that has worked his way here but it’s just not working.  Chavo and Vlad are ok but that’s about it, and that’s not enough to support a 12 minute match.

Titus O’Neil vs. Lucky Cannon

Maryse is with Cannon as are both pros.  Maryse has a big purse with her which apparently cost $3,500.  It’s a bag.  You put stuff in it.  HOW CAN THAT COST THIRTY FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS???  The stupid thing is there are bags that cost that much so it’s not even a wrestling overstatement.  Lucky takes over to start and pounds away.  Off to a chinlock as we’re running out of time here.

Lucky actually covers him after some stomps.  When do you ever see that?  Back to the chinlock again which eats up some clock.  Titus hammers back but gets sent to the floor.  It’s shenanigan time as Horny proposes to Maryse, giving her a candy bracelet.  He tries to take her purse which is ripped in half.  Not buying quality I guess.  Cannon is distracted and turns into the Clash of the Titus to end this at 5:18.

Rating: D. This was a five minute match and about three of those were spent in rest holds.  That being said, I’d rather watch this again with ease over the previous tag match as at least these two are the talented and somewhat interesting rookies.  Titus has a look and Cannon is a somewhat interesting heel so I can actually stay interested in one of their matches.  Other than that, this was nothing though.

Overall Rating: D. And NXT botches it again.  The problem here is the same as it’s been the entire time: these guys aren’t all that interesting.  Also, it’s taking FAR too long to get through this.  It helps that we’re finally getting rapid eliminations but it took us three months to get here.  There are three guys on this show that are bearable but O’Brian just isn’t there.  Sadly, that probably means he’ll be pushed to the finals at least.  Anyway, another weak show here but we get rid of someone next week so there’s that to look forward to.

Results

Yoshi Tatsu b. JTG – Round kick to the head

Darren Young/Chavo Guerrero b. Vladimir Kozlov/Conor O’Brian – Backbreaker to O’Brian

Titus O’Neil b. Lucky Cannon – Clash of the Titus

Fell asleep so here’s a replacement show
Since it might have been awhile, here are the Pro/Rookie combinations.

Wade Barrett – Chris Jericho
Daniel Bryan – The Miz
Skip Sheffield – William Regal
Darren Young – CM Punk
David Otunga – R-Truth
Heath Slater – Christian
Michael Tarver – Carlito
Justin Gabriel – Matt Hardy

NXT
Date: February 23, 2010
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

It’s so weird seeing this theme song and these guys that are now champions as brand new stars. Also Sheffield’s pro was supposed to be MVP but was changed to Regal at the last second for no apparent reason. How was this only eight months ago?

The rookies are in the back and Miz walks up to them, calling out Daniel Bryan. He talks about how Bryan is a star in the minor leagues and that you need to be prepared for everything. Miz sends him to the ring and says give the people a reason to watch. He’s even going to let Bryan come out to his music. Oh and he needs to have a good catchphrase.

Striker is the host.

Bryan apologizes to the fans he has around the world, wishing his pro was Regal, his mentor. He starts talking about how NXT is the next evolution of wrestling but here’s Miz to interrupt him. Bryan tells Miz to watch what he says or he’ll submit him right now. He says he was going to get on a reality show and act like an idiot but that’s been taken already.

Miz wants a catchphrase for him so Bryan debuts tap or snap which fits perfectly for him at the end of the day. Miz slaps him and leaves, saying Bryan failed.

During the break Striker talks to Bryan who says he slaps harder than Miz.

Carlito/Michael Tarver vs. Heath Slater/Christian

We’re told of Bryan vs. Jericho tonight. Oh yeah. It’s THAT match. Carlito introduces us to Tarver who we get a profile on, which is the whole 1.9 seconds thing. He likes to punch a lot apparently. Slater’s profile plays up the rock star concept. Slater gets a rollup on Carlito seconds in for two. He shows off a bit and plays to the crowd who doesn’t seem to care.

No Christian yet as Carlito has Slater in a chinlock. Pro vs. Pro now as we hear about Christian qualifying for Money in the Bank. That’s the Mania version and not the pay per view of the same name. Sunset flip gets two for Christian and here comes Tarver. Slater takes out Carlito and the Killswitch ends Tarver to give Christian the first win in the history of NXT.

Rating: C. Totally basic tag team match here with faces vs. heels. It wasn’t anything great but considering what they had to work with here this was rather good. I liked Slater back in the day and this was no exception. He wasn’t anything great but he always had energy out there and this worked fine. Decent tag match overall.

Punk and Truth are giving their rookies pep talks.

Darren Young vs. David Otunga

Young and Punk were the comedy team of this season and it worked ok at best I thought. Punk, still with hair, says he doesn’t know why he’s here and doesn’t know who Young is. No profile on Young but Otunga talks about being better than everyone else as he’s from Hollywood. He mentions being engaged to Jennifer Hudson.

He definitely had the talking ability and the charisma but just never could do it in the ring. The tear away pants are still a cool thing for Otunga. This is perhaps the fastest match in the history of the show as Otunga hits his weird spinebuster like slam to end it in less than forty seconds.

Raw recap which is of Batista beating the tar out of Cena in their match where if Cena won he got a world title shot at Mania. Wow that graphic of those two at Mania still looks awesome.

Jericho and Barrett come out with Barrett having the black coat with the flower in it. Jericho grabs the mic and says he wants Barrett to give him the introduction he deserves. Barrett sounds like a British Rocky to a degree. He sucks up to Jericho for a bit but Jericho actually cuts him off and introduces him instead.

Daniel Bryan vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho is World Heavyweight Champion here. In a weird error, Bryan’s graphic lists him as being from Vegas but the announcer says he’s from Washington. Odd indeed. Bryan can’t get a handshake to start. Jericho slaps him and it’s on. They trade dropkicks and we go back and forth a bit. Keep in mind the idea here is that this is Bryan’s debut so you have to factor out that he’s US Champion as this is being written.

Barrett cuts a quick promo here where he sucks up to Jericho a bit more but doesn’t say what he’s actually learning. Bryan throws some kicks and goes for the knee. Daniel controls here as Cole begins his indy bashing stuff and his war against the internet. Bryan speeds it up and knocks Jericho to the floor.

And there’s the highlight reel moment of the first season as Bryan DIVES through the ropes but Jericho catches him in a belly to belly to slam his back into the edge of the announce table which must hurt beyond belief. Back in the ring Bryan gets a leg lock and Jericho is in trouble. Codebreaker out of nowhere though and Bryan is down. Walls end it soon after.

Rating: B. All things considered, this was mind blowing. Factoring in that this was his mainstream debut, this can only be classified as a success. Solid match here either way and that counter spot was great. Seeing a guy like Bryan giving Jericho a legit scare here with a nice leg lock thrown in was something no one expected. This was great all things considered.

Post match Miz runs down and beats up Bryan.

Striker is with the other rookies and nothing of note happens.

A recap of the show takes us out.

Overall Rating: B. This was more or less the Daniel Bryan show but it worked very well. The concept became clear and you got three different types of matches with a squash, a decent tag match and a very solid main event. This worked very well and set the stage for the rest of the show. You really couldn’t tell much about the competition in the early weeks but it would change quickly once some people left. Solid premiere though and it worked great.

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 6, 2011
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Things are a little different tonight as it’s not only Raw but also the Tough Enough finale which is going to delay the start of the main show just a bit.  It’s time for more build to Capitol Punishment as we’ll likely get fallout from last week’s Cena vs. Truth match, probably building to a rematch at the PPV.  Other than that there isn’t much known already.  Let’s get to it.

After Andy won Tough Enough and got drilled by Vince (who said he would have picked the other guy) and Stunned by Austin in one of the weirdest welcome to the jobs you’ll ever see we’re ready to go.

The show opens with Austin and Vince in the ring having some beers to open the show, here’s Truth in a Confederate Army uniform marching to the ring to the tune of When the Saints Come Marching In and singing about Little Jimmy marching in.  We get a clip of last week where Truth threw soda on a fan.  He apologizes to Big Jimmy and Little Jimmy and to the refreshing soda.

Truth doesn’t like being in the south and says that the Confederacy didn’t do anything right other than seceding from the Union.  Tonight he’s seceding from the WWE, but he’s keeping the title shot.  He talks about the conspiracy against him and asks Vince about it.  Vince asks if Truth’s real first name is R and says he should come visit him during his office hours.  Is this college all of a sudden?

Here’s Miz, saying he deserves a final title shot.  Riley comes out and doesn’t say much before Cena comes out also.  Cena says that everyone here is out of or for something, be it Miz being out of opportunities for the title, Riley being out for vengeance, Austin being out of beer or Truth being out of his mind.  Cena respects Riley and tells Truth to get rid of the uniform because he already has his PPV title shot.  We get an E-Mail but Vince cuts him off, saying that it’s Cena/Riley vs. Miz/Truth with Austin as referee.  Absolutely hilarious opening segment, namely due to Truth being insane.

Santino Marella vs. Michael McGillicutty

Neither guy gets an intro here.  McGillicutty yells at the crowd to zero reaction but Santino gets a nice pop.  Marella sends him into the corners and knocks him over the top with a clothesline.  He actually channels the Warrior with the rope shake and the gorilla press sign.  Cobra doesn’t work and McGillicutty takes over a bit.  Santino fires back and hits the saluting headbutt so he can do the Warrior press sign again.  Vlad runs over Otunga and the McGillicutter misses.  Cobra ends this clean at 4:35.

Rating: D+. This was a bit awkward and didn’t work all that well.  I’m not sure why this was on Raw but I guess it was to give us something a bit weaker after that very high powered opening.  Santino is still rather popular with his same old stuff but if it’s working why change it?  Not much here though as the wrestling was a bit off but maybe that’s why these two are in tag teams.

Kelly Kelly/Beth Phoenix vs. Bella Twins

Hokey smoke two matches with no commercials?  When do you EVER see this?  Well close enough at least as they go to commercial before the Bellas’ entrances.  Nice idea though.  After the break we get a clip of the Bellas making fun of Kharma for being pregnant.  Kelly starts as Cole talks about the Bellas’ Twitter.  Kelly gets beaten down by both twins while Beth plays cheerleader.

Off to the bow and arrow hold.  Jerry calls Kelly the milk to his cookies.  I really don’t want to think about Lawler’s cookies.  Off to Beth who cleans house on let’s say Brie.  We go way old school with a Tully Blanchard slingshot suplex for two.  Everything breaks down and there’s the Glam Slam for the pin at 2:26.  Good to see them making Beth look like a monster again.

Booker and Trish are in the back and Booker offers to give Trish a secret move: the Trisharooni.  He starts teaching her and Jack Swagger comes up to challenge Booker.  He says cool and it’s on for tonight.

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Didn’t we see this last week?  Punk sits down on the stage and says that this next match is to prove that Nexus is still strong.  The match starts next.  Here we go and Punk tries a big kick to start.  Doesn’t actually connect but it looked good.  Off to the mat and Punk works on the wrist.  Rey speeds things up but can’t get an O’Connor Roll.  Monkey flip sends Punk to the floor and Rey adds a headscissors to take Punk down.

Back in and a slingshot legdrop gets two.  Punk fires back with his strikes but Rey escapes over the top.  He goes up but gets kicked down into the Tree of Woe.  Running knee to the exposed stomach gets two.  Belly to back gets two and it’s off to a body scissors by Punk.  Rey is sent spine first into the post and it’s time for a superplex.  Rey knocks him off and hits I guess you would call it a flipping attack to take Punk down.  He just kind of dove at him and rolled forward.

Rey starts his comeback and hits the springboard cross body for two.  A headscissors takes Punk down but he grabs a powerslam out of nowhere for two.  Ryan blocks the 619 so Rey gets a semi-botched but still good looking tornado DDT while kicking Ryan down to the floor at the same time.  Top rope splash ends this at 8:40.

Rating: B-. These two have undeniable chemistry in the ring and it showed again here.  They almost always have a solid match and while this wasn’t quite as good of a match as they’ve had before, it was certainly fine for about a 9 minute match on Raw.  Good stuff here, as expected from these two.

New presidential press conference video with Truth being insane.  When you can almost save one of these things, that’s a great sign.

Cena warns Riley to not cross him.

3 hour Raw next week and it’s WWE All Star Night.

Here’s Alberto in a 1960 Rolls Royce.  The word for Alberto right now is slander.  People have been saying he’s a hit and run coward.  It was an accident though and here’s the video to prove it.  We see a clip of the accident and now Del Rio wants Show to come out so he can apologize.  Here he comes….and it’s Ricardo in a bald wig on crutches.  There’s food being eaten and a catcher’s mitt for a hand.  Well they have the small bits down.

Alberto says he’s pretending to be hurt to avoid paying for damages to his car.  All Ricardo does is hold up his hand and growl.  Del Rio offers candy and ice cream and chocolate in exchange for dropping the charges but then takes it back, saying Show deserved what happened to him.  He warns Show not to make Alberto his enemy because Show will get hurt if he does so, because bad things happen to bad people.

Video on Kofi which more or less is him jumping a lot.  He’s up next.

Kofi Kingston vs. Zack Ryder

Ryder, the apparent new internet darling, doesn’t even get his own music as Dolph and Vickie are out there also for commentary.  Non-title here and Cole calls Ryder “Zack Ziggler”.  Kofi uses his basic stuff to start so Ryder gets in his face.  Ryder avoids the jump in the corner and gets a neckbreaker for two.  The announcers plug the Youtube show as Ryder gets a kick in the corner.  Well at least I think he did because we cut back to Ziggler and Vickie every 8 seconds.  Kofi starts his comeback and never mind as there’s Trouble in Paradise and we’re done at 2:44.  Just a quick match here and nothing of note.

Booker is up next.

Miz vs. Riley at the PPV.

Booker T vs. Jack Swagger

Booker grabs the arm to start and that gets him nowhere.  He chops away but Swagger knocks him to the floor and we shift into a brawl.  Swagger hammers on him for a bit until Booker gets a spinwheel kick out of the corner to take back over.  Axe kick misses but a heel kick sends Jack to the floor again.  And that’s it as he just takes the countout at 3:14.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match here to get Booker on TV, surprisingly enough not for a plug for the Nitro DVD.  It makes sense to not have Swagger lose clean here as Booker probably isn’t going to be a regular wrestler.  Not much at all but nothing really bad here.  It’s hard to complain about a match that barely broke the threshold for a rating.

Bourne jumps Swagger in the aisle and Jack winds up taking an axe kick and the Shooting Star Press.  There’s a double Spinarooni as well.

Alex Riley/John Cena vs. The Miz/R-Truth

Austin is referee remember.  We get all four entrances but the bell is next.  Back and it’s Miz vs. Cena to start.  Riley gets tagged in about 20 seconds in and Miz runs to tag Truth.  Truth does his usual stuff but Riley is able to tag in Cena.  Just like Miz earlier, Truth runs for his partner so it’s back to Cena vs. Miz again.  Cena LOUDLY calls for a bulldog and hits one on Miz so that the chase can be on.

Back to Truth vs. Riley with Truth taking his head off with a clothesline as we take a break.  Back with Miz holding a chinlock on Riley.  DDT gets two for Miz.  Miz gets in Austin’s face and then misses a charge, sending his shoulder into the corner.  Truth breaks up the tag and it’s off to the chinlock again.  Truth does the always stupid looking jump off the middle rope into the boot of the other guy and it’s off to Cena.

John hits his usual stuff on Miz and sends Truth to the floor.  There’s the STF but Miz doesn’t tap.  Truth brings in a chair, only to get dropkicked down almost immediately.  Double clothesline and Cena and Miz are both down.  Riley pops up behind Cena with the briefcase but pops Miz with it.  A Stunner sets up the AA to end Miz at 10:43.

Rating: C-. Didn’t really like this here as Riley needed to get some ring time and really wasn’t much of a factor here.  It was far too similar to the main event from I think two weeks ago where Bret was referee.  Not awful but I wasn’t all that into it and the match kind of dragged a bit.

Post match the GM says Austin has overstepped his authority so we’re going to reverse the decision.  Another E-Mail makes Austin guest GM next week.  Cole gets covered in beer and takes a Stunner and AA to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Energetic show here but the wrestling held it back a bit.  They seem to have completely changed directions in the past few weeks and I think it’s working ok for the most part but not great.  Some of the feuds are interesting but seem shaky at the same time.  Capitol Punishment is more or less set on Raw and that’s a good thing.  Not a great show but overall I think it worked.

Results

Santino Marella b. Michael McGillicutty – Cobra

Kelly Kelly/Beth Phoenix b. Bella Twins – Glam Slam to Nikki Bella

Rey Mysterio b. CM Punk – Top rope splash

Kofi Kingston b. Zack Ryder – Trouble in Paradise

Booker T b. Jack Swagger via countout

R-Truth/The Miz b. Alex Riley/John Cena via disqualification when Austin stunned Miz

Smackdown
Date: June 3, 2011
Location: Wells Fargo Arena, Des Moines, Iowa
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Booker T, Michael Cole

We have a world title match in the main event tonight when Orton faces Sheamus.  Thankfully this isn’t the PPV match because I couldn’t take a whole month of buildup and matches between these two.  I’d bet on some Christian shenanigans in this, likely setting up Christian vs. Orton III which should be good.  Either way, this should be an ok show as Smackdown tends to be able to pace their show as well as anything.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a video about Christian waiting for seventeen years to become champion but losing very quickly and then doing it again to Orton.  There’s also a bit of talk about the title match tonight but it’s an afterthought based on the video.

Do you know your enemy?  Mine is the heat of the summer.

Christian vs. Mark Henry

Oddly enough Christian is introduced for his match with Chimmel saying “ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Christian!”  I’ve never heard that for a match before.  The referee sounds a lot louder tonight than usual.  Henry uses his power to start and Christian is sent to the floor.  Christian gets back in and tries a dive but is caught by Henry.  Henry then stands him back up on the apron.  I guess intelligence isn’t a requirement to be the strongest man in the world.

Back in the ring now and Christian takes over with his power before hitting the nerve hold.  I didn’t know he was Samoan/Tongan/Indian.  Christian gets up and fires off some clotheslines but can’t take Henry down.  Middle rope elbow can’t do it either so he tries the Killswitch.  This fails again and the Canadian is sent to the floor.  He sends Henry into the table and back into the ring we go.  A top rope cross body is caught by a World’s Strongest Slam attempt which is also reversed into the Killswitch for the totally clean pin at 4:27.

Rating: B-. Well that was unexpected.  This was almost shockingly decent here, with Henry doing his job perfectly as the big power man.  Christian getting a clean win like this is exactly what he needs as it keeps him in the main event scene by beating an upper midcard guy.  Pretty good stuff here which was a very nice surprise.

Barrett vs. Jackson later for the IC Title.

Post break Christian is feeling chatty.  While that was a good win, he wants to be in the world title match tonight.  We get a clip of the triple threat last week with Orton getting involved and the distraction costing Christian the pin on Sheamus.  He has a good point actually.  Christian thinks he should have one more chance to be champion and the fans seem open to the idea.

Here’s Teddy though who agrees that Christian was a victim of circumstance last week.  Christian takes a poll of the audience who seem to want part three of the trilogy, even though that’s usually the weakest part.  It certainly was in Back to the Future and Matrix.  They don’t seem thrilled about Sheamus getting the shot though.  Teddy however says he can’t do it.  Christian suggests a triple threat but alas it’s still a no.  However, Christian does get to be guest referee.

We get a video on Sheamus and how awesome he is.  Rather true, rather true.

Alicia Fox/Tamina vs. AJ/Kaitlyn

Rosa is with the evil ones and now has jet black hair which is working for her.  An inset interview shows AJ and Kaitlyn saying they’ll make Natalya proud.  Her advice: don’t lose.  Kaitlyn and Tamina start us off here.  And never mind the match as it’s time to talk about Kharma.  I can live with this as it’s not like the Divas mean anything.  Kaitlyn gets a rollup for two.

Off to Alicia who is far too pink at the moment.  Josh gets a very smooth transition as he talks about how AJ is the girl next door and often wears WWE gear, which you can get at Kmart.  That was awesome actually.  Back off to Tamina as the beating is on.  Tamina overpowers AJ and hits the Samoan Drop for the pin at 2:05.  Well that was abrupt.

Video on Sin Cara, who hopefully can go a second straight week with no visual botches.  These little 30 second videos are great things to use to get people on TV while not taking up too much time.

Here’s Cody with his bag people.  We get a quick clip of last week’s issue with Daniel Bryan where Bryan beat him and was then bagged post match.  Cody says that while Bryan may have allegedly won, his humiliation after the match means he lost, not Cody.  The bags are handed out, which is a great touch.  There’s a bag over the camera and we see the camera through the bag’s view.  Nice touch.  Cody says he’ll win the world title soon while everyone else has paper bags over their heads.

DiBiase vs. Bryan later.

Khali is with Striker and we get a clip from last week where Khali lost to Kane.  Cole says this was the continuation of a major losing streak.  What in the world are they talking about?  I can’t remember the last time Khali lost prior to losing to Kane.  I actually rewound the tape to hear that again to make sure I didn’t misunderstand that.  We see Khali more or less turning heel as he beat up Singh last week.  Mahal pops up and says if you want to talk to Khali, you talk to him.  Mahal speaks in two languages and says something about Jinder Mahal’s kingdom.  The first step is tonight and that is all.

Jinder Mahal vs. Yoshi Tatsu

Gee I wonder what’s going to happen here.  Mahal is like 70% legs.  It’s rather freaky looking actually.  Mahal dominates quickly and gets a jumping knee and a suplex for two.  Full nelson slam ends this in 1:09.  Remember when Tatsu was new and awesome?  Me either.  Khali puts him in the vice grip post match.

Obama thing again.  Yeah whatever.

Intercontinental Title: Ezekiel Jackson vs. Wade Barrett

Apparently Jackson was awarded a scholarship to an Ivy League law school.  If that’s true that’s rather impressive.  Jackson takes over with power to start and drops an elbow for two.  Barret gets a knee in to take over and I still can’t get over how loud this referee is.  I know you can usually hear a referee once in awhile but here you can hear his voice clearly throughout the entire match.  It’s not a bad thing but it’s very different.

Barrett hits a HUGE Bossman Slam with a 180 degree spin that gets a big gasp from the crowd.  That was awesome indeed.  Off to a reverse chinlock as Booker talks about how Jackson has a muscular head.  Barrett gets sent to the floor and then run over when he gets back in.  Here come the slams which is something that is growing on me.  It’s almost saying that with Jackson being so strong, why not just do the same move over and over again?

Torture Rack doesn’t work as Barrett gets into the ropes.  Jackson knocks him to the floor and here come Gabriel and Slater, at least walking slowly this time.  Not that it matters because Barrett is counted out at 4:12.  No big beatdown DQ here this week which is at least a change of pace.

Rating: C. And most of that is for the Bossman Slam.  That was a thing of beauty.  Anyway this wasn’t much but Jackson is really getting the hang of this big power man routine.  The slams are a very basic yet effective way to make him seem like a force.  I’d like to see him actually get a win with the Torture Rack but it’s a fine finisher for him.  I’m not sure where this leads with these two, but I’d assume it’s Corre finally telling Barrett to do it on his own.

They set up the three on one attack post match but Barrett doesn’t get in the ring and leaves them to be destroyed.  Jackson stands tall.

Sheamus doesn’t care that Christian is referee.  He flags Christian down and says he agrees that Christian was robbed.  Christian says that was a lie and Sheamus warns Christian against shenanigans (his word) but Christian cuts him off, saying it’ll be right down the middle.

Daniel Bryan vs. Ted DiBiase

Nice dropkick by Bryan gets one to start us off.  Ted tries to take it to the mat and just guess how well that goes for him.  Bryan gets a big kick for two and here comes Cody with his bag dudes.  We take a break and come back with Ted holding a bow and arrow hold.  Bryan likes to throw kicks.  Ted gets all ticked off and stomps away as he’s looking better than he has in a good while.

Ted bends Bryan around the post as Bryan is in trouble.  Daniel gets his backflip out of the corner and hits a clothesline to take Ted down.  Time for more kicks as it seems like he’s channeling his inner Kaval.  Hurricanrana off the top is countered into a sunset flip by Ted for two.  These two had solid chemistry on NXT and it’s showing again here.  The following clothesline (as in he sends Bryan in and follows him) by Ted turns Bryan inside out.

DiBiase is sent to the floor and Bryan hits a suicide dive.  He gets up, only to have a staredown with the masked dude named Cody.  Bryan tries a double axe off the top but jumps into a dropkick for two.  They hit the mat again and Bryan gets a GREAT LeBell Lock for the tap at 6:43 shown of 10:13.  The way Ted was twisted on his shoulder it looked like it was about to snap at any second.

Rating: B-. These two have solid chemistry together and that’s all there is to it.  DiBiase isn’t a guy that is known for being all that good in the ring but his stuff with Bryan is usually very solid.  Good match here as it got to the point where Bryan seemed to be in legit danger of losing, which is absurd when you actually think about it.  That’s a good sign and it was a good match too.

Cody immediately comes in, stomping Bryan before his music even hits.  Booker says this is borderline criminal.  Legacy starts the double beatdown but Sin Cara makes the save.

Long video from Raw shows the Cena/Truth stuff.

Here’s….Johnny Curtis.  I legit didn’t recognize him until he said his name.  He won NXT and was promised a tag team title shot with his pro.  Apparently that’s not going to happen so he’s going to do what anyone would do.  He pulls out a pan and a gallon of milk.  He pours the milk into the pan and sounds like he’s about to cry, then stops crying, drops the pan and pours the milk over his head with a weird look on his face.  It’s stranger than it sounds.

It’s announced that Truth gets Cena at the PPV for the title.  Josh interrupts and asks about the milk and Cole keeps on talking.  Truth has to apologize on Raw if he wants his shot.

Smackdown World Title: Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

TON of time left for this.  Christian is the referee remember.  Big match intros take up some of the time but that’s ok here.  Slow start as Sheamus grabs a headlock.  He’s looking extra pale tonight.  Sheamus uses his basic power stuff but Orton fires off a clothesline to break the momentum.  Out to the floor as this is turning into a brawl.  Sheamus is rammed into the barricade as we head back into the ring.

Elbow smash gets two for Sheamus as we head to the floor again.  Orton is rammed into the post back first a few times which gets two back in the ring.  We take a break and come back with Sheamus holding a crossface chickenwing, only to be broken quickly.  Sheamus hammers away with that physical style of his.  Front facelock goes on Cole is being his usual jerk self here.

Orton counters a suplex into one of his own and both guys are down.  Don’t you love it how a guy can be beaten down for like five minutes by a guy the size of Sheamus but then a single suplex hits and we’re back to even?  Orton goes into his normal moveset but gets kicked in the knee and slowed down.  In a pretty impressive move, Sheamus is sitting in the corner and grabs the top rope, pulling himself up to the top by flipping backwards.  Think of it kind of like skinning the cat.

Anyway it goes badly for him as he gets caught in a superplex for two.  Slingshot shoulder block gets two as does a running powerslam.  After a quick counter by Orton he walks into the Irish Curse for two.  Brogue Kick misses and Sheamus gets caught in the elevated DDT.  Christian has been a total non-factor up to this point.  I forgot he was the referee for almost ten minutes there.

RKO doesn’t hit so Sheamus hits a running double axe handle (I’m sure there’s a name for that but I can’t remember it.  Axe bomber maybe?) and it’s time for the High Cross.  Orton counters but is almost shoved into Christian.  He puts the brakes on but Sheamus rams into him with a shoulder.  Brogue Kick hits and Christian does the two count and then the arm injury.  Sheamus gets in his face and gets drilled, knocking him into the RKO for the pin at 11:03 shown of 14:33.

Rating: B. This is pretty much their best match ever by a mile or so.  Sheamus has really improved in the last few months as he’s added some more agility based moves to his power offense to make him look like a total killer.  Orton was his usual decent self here and while the combination still isn’t great, they’re getting it.  Sheamus helped this a lot more than Orton did, but I’m a big fan of the pale one so take that with a grain of salt.

Post match Orton celebrates and walks into a belt shot from Christian as I guess he turns heel.  He takes the belt and shouts that he can beat Randy.  GREAT heat on Christian as he holds up the belt.  Replay shows what a great shot that was too as that belt bounced off his head.  Christian leaves with the title and gets one of the most mixed reactions I’ve ever heard as he holds it up.  There’s clearly booing but the men are chanting for him.  Always interesting.

Overall Rating: A. That’s probably high but I had a blast watching this show.  Everything felt important and more than anything else: Smackdown continues to pack in more stuff than anything in two hours and they never once feel crammed or rushed.  We got six matches, development in stories, a new tag team feud, a heel turn, Divas and over ¼ of the show was in the ring.  This was excellent all around and should be the blueprint for how to run a TV show.  Great stuff.

Results

Christian b. Mark Henry – Killswitch

Alicia Fox/Tamina b. AJ/Kaitlyn – Samoan Drop to AJ

Jinder Mahal b. Yoshi Tatsu – Full Nelson Slam

Ezekiel Jackson b. Wade Barrett via countout

Daniel Bryan b. Ted DiBiase – LeBell Lock

Randy Orton b. Sheamus – RKO

NXT
Date: May 31, 2011
Location: Wells Fargo Arena, Des Moines, Iowa
Commentators: Todd Grisham, Michael Cole

Another elimination tonight and I have a feeling it’ll be Saxton because that’s the guy that doesn’t need to be gone.  O’Brian will continue to be around and waste all of our time because he has no character and nothing of interest in the slightest overall.  Cannon and O’Neil are definitely the strongest out there and I’d be ok with either winning….I think.  Anyway let’s get to it.

Todd calls this trimming the fat tonight.  At least they admit some of these guys are worthless.

Striker and Maryse are with the rookies in the ring.  They bring out Cole for one night only.  Oh dear.  For some reason he’s doing commentary tonight instead of Regal.  Blast it all.  Cole says this is where he got his start.

We go over the Redemption Points aspect which are there in the event of a tie.  O’Neil is miles ahead of everyone so there’s no point in even listing them off.  Tonight you can earn 3 points (Titus is up by 12) in Tag Team Turmoil.  It’s rookies and pros as teams here.  First though, let’s hear why you shouldn’t get eliminated tonight.  Conor sucks up to the crowd and says he’s not done sacrificing for the business yet.  Cannon says if you’re not a fan of his yet you’re deaf, dumb and blind.  He doesn’t need the fans and has an ace up his sleeve.  He looks at Maryse and says make that a queen.  Todd: “Is he looking at Striker?”

Young says he’s been at the top the entire time.  He shouldn’t be on NXT because he was in the main event of Summerslam.  It’s about time someone brought that up.  Young says he should be challenging Cena and that the entire NXT show is a joke.  Saxton says he doesn’t need to explain why he should be voted for.  He got rid of Tatsu last week and the real question is why wouldn’t you vote for him.  Titus says he is bigger, badder and better than anyone else in the competition.  Horny comes out and Young goes after him as Titus saves.  Tag team turmoil is next.

Tag Team Turmoil

If you’re unfamiliar, the idea is two tag teams start us off and they have a match.  The losers are eliminated and the winners advance to face another team.  Last team standing wins and there are five total teams.  We start with O’Neil/Horny vs. Cannon/Kidd and the rookies go first.  And yeah, this is rather boring indeed.  Horny can’t get in due to reasons of HE’S A FREAKING LEPRECHAUN and my signal cuts out.

Back and it’s Saxton and Tatsu in there now instead of O’Neil and Horny.  Apparently there was a commercial in there so at least I didn’t miss much.  Yoshi takes over on Kidd and it’s off to Saxton.  Cannon grabs a chinlock on him as Maryse is in Cannon and Kidd’s corner.  Yoshi wants in but Saxton wants to do this by himself.  Cannon and Kidd keep tagging in and out like an actual team while Saxton is being a big meanie.  I’d prefer a blue one but you take what you can get I guess.

Cannon channels his inner Flair to use the ropes for two.  This is another fine example of the really boring matches these guys have.  None of them are particularly good in the ring and none of them are interesting at all.  Saxton fights back against Kidd but takes FOREVER on the ropes and jumps into a big boot for the elimination.  Kozlov/O’Brian are in next.  Why do I have a bad feeling they’re going to win here?  There’s a break before this next part begins.

It would be nice if the commercials on this show were longer than 45 seconds.  You can’t do anything in that amount of time.  During the break Kozlov send Kidd flying to the floor with a fallaway slam.  And because he’s like a fungus, here’s JTG.  Seriously dude, go away.  No one likes you and your pets are being sacrificed to Satan.  Your friends hate you, your family hates you and you’re going to eternal torment.  Go away.  Did I mention I don’t like JTG.

The distraction shifts the momentum again as JTG is on commentary.  If it seems like I’m not watching the match, it’s because I’m trying to stay awake here.  JTG doesn’t care who wins this and it takes ten seconds to get through that joke.  Cannon stomps away on O’Brian as this has been going on nearly 15 minutes now.  JTG gets his rookie’s name wrong because he’s an annoying person.

Since we’re not bored enough, here’s a headlock by Cannon to O’Brian.  Hot tag to Kozlov and much destruction is seen.  Iron Curtain ends Cannon and we’re down to Chavo/Darren Young vs. Kozlov/O’Brian.  Here’s another break because we haven’t had to sit through enough yet.  Back with Kozlov beating on Young as the crowd is SILENT.  Off to O’Brian who hammers on Young a bit.

Off to an armbar as even the camera guys are bored with this match so they keep the camera on JTG.  Chavo comes in to take over and hammers away.  Young gets a shot off the top and a two count so let’s go BACK to the resthold.  They hit heads off a whip into the corner because they hadn’t reached a level of boring high enough yet.  Double tag brings in the pros and Chavo jumps into a headbutt to the chest.

A spinwheel kick puts Vlad on the floor where Young gets in a shot.  O’Brian apparently went off to get a hot pretzel because he’s not helping here.  Back in the ring now for even more slow paced stuff.  I can live with a long match like this if it’s interesting.  By that I mean if ANY part of it is interesting but this has been five straight boring NXT matches.

The heels tag in and out a lot as Vlad reverses a double suplex at the twenty five minute mark.  And remember, it’s for a total of three points.  O’Brian comes in but can’t get a pin.  Three Amigos take him down but the third is blocked.  Vlad is sent to the floor and O’Brian hits something like a Saito Suplex for the pin on Young at 26:00, which might be longer than Cody vs. MVP for longest match in NXT history.

Rating: D. Here’s a great example of where long doesn’t mean good.  This was painfully boring the entire time because in short, none of these ten guys are interesting for the most part.  They’re definitely not interesting enough for five straight tag team matches of about the same length.  Boring match the entire time and WAY too long.  But at least it’s the only match of the night.  Now someone kidnap JTG and feed him to something with sharp teeth.

Obama ad.  I can’t stand this anymore.

The Bellas, the chicks that made fat jokes at the expense of a pregnant woman last night, want you to stop bullying.  The irony of this campaign never ceases to amaze me.

Saxton is gone.  Well of course he is.  I mean, he can talk and has a decent look so he has no business being here over a guy as universally talented as Rat Boy right?  They make it way too easy to predict who’s going home on this show.

Overall Rating: D. Well I’ll give them this: they had wrestling.  The amusing thing is that on a 45 minute long show, there was more wrestling than on Impact, a two hour show.  I know I blast that a lot, but dude that’s embarrassing, especially when they preach that it’s about wrestling over on Thursdays.

Anyway, while it was boring, they at least did have something in the ring for over half of the show, so definite points for that.  This is something close to giving them credit for trying, as they had a show focused on wrestling and the rookie/pro relationship, but it was boring in execution.  I’ll take this over the stupid challenges any day though.

Results

Conor O’Brian/Vladimir Kozlov won tag team turmoil, last eliminating Chavo Guerrero/Darren Young

Byron Saxton was eliminated in 5^th place

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 30, 2011
Location: Qwest Center Omaha, Omaha, Nebraska
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Josh Matthews, Michael Cole

Three weeks out from Capitol Punishment and we now have some new stories set up.  It’s looking like we’re setting up some form of Truth vs. Cena at the PPV which is probably the best option right here.  Other than that it’s kind of hard to say where we’re going with major matches as other than that, Show vs. Alberto is probably coming later with the knee injury angle.  Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a tribute to Memorial Day and soldiers that have died in combat.  Nothing wrong with that.

And now we have a black screen.  Oh wait here’s R-Truth at a merchandise stand destroying stuff.  And never mind as we’re gone again with a graphic saying there are technical difficulties.  Ok now he’s destroying the stand with no audio.  He messes with a concession stand and we cut to black again.  We have some background audio but whatever he’s saying into the microphone isn’t heard.

Cole and Lawler are talking but their words don’t match their movements.  Lawler says it’s something to do with the conspiracy.  Now Truth is coming down the steps in the audience and yelling at people in Cena gear.  There goes the audio again.  Truth comes down to a family in Cena gear and the audio is way out of sync.  He calls the kid little Jimmy and the kid’s father big Jimmy.  The father says What’s Up and Truth isn’t happy.  The sound sounds like it’s in a tunnel or something and is about 8 seconds ahead of the video.

He’s in the ring now and ranting about how the fans are the problem instead of him.  It’s about Little Jimmy apparently.  Here comes Cena as Vince must be losing his mind right now.  Cena says that Truth is losing it because he thinks everyone is named Jimmy and there is no conspiracy.  The audio is in sync now, about 10 minutes into the show.  Truth says it’s the fans and Cena that are crazy, not Truth.

The fans chant for Cena and the picture is still jumping a bit.  Cena says that these are the greatest fans in the world and they agree that Truth should be in a straightjacket.  Cena says he has no problem knocking some sense back into Truth.  Truth wants a match so all the little Jimmys can watch him beat Cena down.  Cue the GM for an E-Mail read by Cole and the main event is Truth vs. Cena with no little Jimmys allowed at ringside.  Truth thinks it’s a joke and says Cena will get got.

Kharma will speak tonight.

Dolph vs. Kofi next.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston

Cole says he’s thankful for being back at ringside to call this show.  Dolph is blonde again which is a big improvement for him.  Technical stuff to start as Lawler says Vickie looks good tonight.  I know they were having technical difficulties but dang man they’re messing with Lawler’s words now.  Slower paced match than was probably expected.  Ziggler takes him down with a shoulder block but Kofi speeds things up a bit.

The referee has an elbow pad on for some reason.  Cole keeps sucking up to Vickie as Kofi takes over a bit.  No one has really had an extended advantage yet.  Kofi tries his jump into the punches in the corner but Dolph moves, allowing Kofi to land on the top rope.  Dolph shoves him to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Dolph holding an armbar and pulling Kofi back down by the hair.  Elbow drop gets two and we go to a chinlock.  Stinger Splash in the corner misses for Dolph and Kofi speeds things up again.  He can’t get the SOS but the jumping clothesline does hit.  There’s the Boom Drop but Trouble in Paradise misses.  Sleeper almost goes on and Kofi hits a pendulum kick.  Top rope cross body misses and a Fameasser gets a close two.  Small package gets two for Kofi but he walks into the Zig Zag for the pin at 10:50.

Rating: C+. This got a lot better near the ending but the first part of it was kind of uninspiring stuff.  Not a great match or anything but it’s nice to see them get about ten minutes to go out and let a match build upon itself instead of being like three minutes long.  Not bad but nothing great, especially compared to what they did on Smackdown last year.

Here’s Alberto in an Audi.  We get a clip from last week where Big Show was hit by the car driven by Ricardo.  Part of the clip shows Alberto was driving and Ricardo switched places with him in the background.  Ricardo explains his side of the story in Spanish.  Alberto says bad things happen to bad people.  They owe him money for damaging his car and Ricardo will send them the bill.  Get well soon Big Show.  So it took almost 8 minutes to say “I’m not sorry”?

Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres vs. Bella Twins

Eve vs. Brie to start as Eve does her gymnastics.  She hooks some kind of a choke/arm lock on but Twin Magic prevails.  The Bellas beat down Eve for a good while as the crowd really doesn’t seem to care.  There’s the tag to Kelly who does what is supposed to be a Thesz Press I think.  Kelly’s belt goes flying off and she gives whichever Bella that is a Stinkface.  Everything breaks down and the K2 ends let’s say Nikki at 2:56.  Just your typical Divas match with the looks being the only thing of note.

There’s a cookout in Nebraska.  No real reason for it being shown but it’s the second time we’ve seen it tonight.

Cole is in the ring to talk to Riley about his attack last week.  The Raw GM has apparently signed Alex Riley again.  We see the beatdown on Miz from last week.  Here’s Riley with his own theme song and a decent reaction from the crowd.  Cole yells at Riley about how he betrayed Miz after Miz had done so much for him.  What about Miz apparently?  Miz looked at Riley like a brother and Cole wants to know how Riley can do what he did to Miz last week.

Riley says he’s never felt better and Cole suggests Riley beg Miz for forgiveness.  Cole rants on him a bit more and Riley cuts him off.  Riley says Cole has a big mouth and is starting to get annoying just like Miz.  Cole calls Riley a bastard an Riley grabs him.  He of course takes too long and here’s Miz for the beatdown.  He looks manly in pink.  Miz tries to get a kick in but Riley takes him down.  Miz tries to run but Riley takes him down in the aisle and continues the beating.  Riley throws him onto the table and Miz runs into the crowd and out the door as Riley stands tall in the ring.

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Ryan is with Punk here.  Cole can’t wait to tell us that a guy on American Idol wore a Punk shirt.  You know, for all the WWE fans that watch American Idol.  Punk takes over to start but gets caught in a kick to the chest and a headscissors.  Into the corner but Punk gets out of the way and sends Rey to the floor.  Rey gets on the apron but Ryan sends him into the post as we take a break.

Back with Punk holding Rey in something like a Gory Stretch for a bit.  Rey escapes but a headscissors is countered into a backbreaker for two.  Punk hammers away but Rey manages to dropkick him into 619 position.  CM hits the floor but Rey hits a suicide dive to send Punk over the announce table.  Back in Rey hits the seated senton and the springboard cross body for two.  A sweet pinning combination gets two.

Big spin kick misses and Punk gets another backbreaker for two.  Punk loads up the GTS but Rey counters into a rana to set up the 619.  Ryan blocks it so Rey dropkicks him to the floor.  Rey tries to skin the cat back in but Punk catches him in the GTS position.  Rey counters again but a big kick to the head is enough for Punk to pin him at 9:05.

Rating: B-. Pretty good match here as they let both guys do their thing.  Punk and Nexus’ push continues and it’s definitely not a bad thing.  Also seeing Rey lose is always a plus as it gets a good deal annoying to see him beat every single person he’s in there with.  Either way, good stuff here and Punk’s push continues, which is a good thing.

We get a clip of Austin on Jimmy Fallon.

Here’s Kharma to explain what happened last week.  Her voice is a lot softer than you would expect.  Her dream was to be a WWE Superstar (not Diva) and here she is.  She tried out for season 2 of Tough Enough and JR apparently told her she was too fat to be a Diva.  She went to Japan where she cleaned floors for training.  She went to every wrestling promotion in the world (no mention of TNA) before WWE called.

Her other dream was to be a mother.  She’ll be a mother because she is currently with child.  This is a high risk business and she can’t risk anything happening to her because it’s a high risk sport.  She’ll be back though.  Here are the Bellas to make fun of her.  They say they’re impressed that she found a guy to hook up with.  It must bother her to not be able to beat them up right now.  They make fat jokes and the Bellas try to run.  Kharma will be back in a year and she hopes they’ll still be here because then she has a new dream.  Her music plays her out.

We get the really stupid press conference promo on Capitol Punishment.  At least mix it up a bit.  I think this one is different but still, the joke is over.

Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger

Swagger hammers away to start but an attempt at a belly to back suplex puth both guys on the floor.  Back in and it’s all Swagger so far with him hammering away on the back of Bourne.  Rather slow match here but Bourne tries to speed things up a bit, only to walk into a sidewalk slam.  Swagger keeps smacking him in the head and seemingly wasting time.  And yep there it is as Bourne grabs a victory roll for the pin at 3:14.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match there to have Swagger mess up and continue this feud with Bourne.  I hope this leads to a face turn for Swagger as his character can only go so far as a heel.  He has the talent but they haven’t really gone anywhere with it.  Pretty much a nothing match but with 3 minutes what can they do?

Truth talks to himself some more.

Cena talks to Ryder who looks like he has something resembling the IC Title.

R-Truth vs. John Cena

We do get part of the segment to open the show from earlier tonight with working audio.  Cena’s music hits at 10:58 so this is going to be a pretty short match.  Cena sends him to the floor almost immediately and Truth rants at some fans.  Truth gets something going but is sent to the floor again where he runs his mouth some more.  They’re intentionally not having a ton of contact here.

There are the dueling chants as Cena gets going.  At least he’s not gone get got.  Cena takes him to the floor again and Cena gets frustrated.  Truth escapes the Attitude Adjustment and hits the crowd this time.  Cena goes after him but gets caught with a shot to the head and it’s a count out win for Truth at 4:00.

Rating: D+. Not even a match really as there might have been a total of 30 seconds of contact the entire time.  Still though they’re setting up for later on, likely with a PPV title match coming up.  If that’s the case then this is fine as the point was to not have them actually do anything yet.  Not even a match though so the grade means nothing really.

Truth goes back into the crowd and throws soda in the face of the fans from earlier.  Cena gives them his wristbands to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a rather good show overall with the pacing being far better than it’s been in recent weeks and a good deal of wrestling to go with it.  Truth being all insane is a nice touch to his character as he’s playing that character to perfection.  A lot of stuff was advanced tonight and we got a high amount of wrestling too.  What more can you ask for?  Very solid show here indeed.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Kofi Kingston – Zig Zag

Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres b. Bella Twins – K2 to Nikki Bella

CM Punk b. Rey Mysterio – Kick to the head

Evan Bourne b. Jack Swagger – Victory Roll

R-Truth b. John Cena via countout

Smackdown
Date: May 27, 2011
Location: Spokane Veterans Memorial Arena, Spokane, Washington
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

We’re past Over the Limit now and it should be interesting to see where this goes.  After the rather awesome Christian vs. Orton match it’s possible they could go for a third match there but at the same time Orton has won twice clean so maybe it’ll be time for someone else to step in.  Other than that though I’m really not sure what to expect as we gear up for Capitol Punishment.  Let’s get to it.

Do You Know Your Enemy?  TNA’s seems to be wrestling.

Here’s the champ to open the show.  He says he’s Randy Orton and he is still world heavyweight champion.  And that’s all he can get out because here’s Christian.  He doesn’t want to spoil Orton’s moment but Sunday was a great match so thanks and congratulations.  That’s what fruit baskets were invented for Christian.  The match could have gone either way but Christian knows he can beat him.  He wants to issue a challenge for one more match for the title.

Before we get an answer here’s Sheamus.  He wants to know how much Christian needs because he’s acting like an obsessive gambler.  Christian is going to have to wait another seventeen years because on Sunday he became a two time loser.  Sheamus however is a two time champion and he’s here to face guys like Orton for the title.  If anyone is becoming #1 contender, it’s him.

Cue Mark Henry because someone up there hates me.  Christian needs to join Edge on the retirement golf course and Sheamus needs to stop butting in.  As for Orton, Henry says he (Henry) has just butted his way to the front of the line for that championship.  Teddy comes out and asks the fans what they want to see.  They cheer the idea of Christian vs. Orton 3 but Teddy makes a triple threat for the #1 contender spot.

Sin Cara vs. Chavo Guerrero

The lights change again and it’s lost its luster I think.  Cole talks about Cara being ungrateful to Chavo and the other announcers blast him.  Chavo gets sent to the floor so Cara teases a dive.  Back in a double knee to the chest of Cara takes him down and a belly to back gets two.  Off to a key lock but an attempt at a Gory Special is blocked.  Cara sends him to the floor and hits a big old dive to take over again.

Springboard rana back in the ring by Cara and he adds a high angle reverse elbow off the middle rope as we speed things up.  Booker talked to Cara apparently and Cara is a big fan.  Top rope cross body gets two as Cole gets all sarcastic again.  The crowd thinks Chavo sucks as he avoids the Tajiri elbow.

Now we get to see what Cara was trying to get on Sunday as he comes around like a crucifix into a headscissors and then back around to Chavo’s shoulder.  Then he slams Chavo down almost into the position for a Crossface but it slams Chavo’s head into the mat for a pin at 4:46.  Not liking that one but it’s not bad I guess.

Rating: C. Far better than their match Sunday but they really need to do something with Cara already.  We can only watch him come in, do some high spots, get in trouble a bit and come back to win with whatever he finishes with that week so many times.  There’s no real story to any of his matches and no real point to what he does.  It’s not bad, but it’s gotten repetitive already, which isn’t good.  The dives are good enough to make something out of, but not in this format.

Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan

This is why I love the midcard stuff: there are so many combinations you can throw out there just like this one.  No Ted here.  Cody says if he didn’t know better he’d be convinced there’s no God because everywhere he goes he prays that he’ll see an attractive face but every time he’s disappointed.  He does the bagging thing and gets in a good line of “Shut up and bag yourselves!”  Bryan’s music cuts him off.

This is near Bryan’s hometown so he gets the big pop.  Bryan speeds things up to start us off and Cody actually tries some technical stuff with him.  Bryan is like dude just no and takes out the knees.  They trade hip toss attempts and Cody finally takes over, tossing Bryan to the floor as we take a break.  Back with Bryan making a comeback but getting caught with a kick between the legs to the stomach ala Hardcore Holly.

Cody throws on a Crossface Chickenwing (what is up with people using that move anymore) and calls a spot to Bryan.  He takes the hold to the mat in a full version and rams the mask into the back of Bryan’s head.  Bryan escapes and makes his comeback with strikes as Booker says this would be a breakout win for Bryan.  Even Cole corrects him so you can tell Booker screwed up there.

Bryan gets a missile dropkick for a long two.  Cody sends him into the middle buckle for two.  Bryan grabs a rollup for two.  This is moving as fast as it sounds.  In a SWEET spot, Bryan does his backflip out of the corner but Cody runs underneath him and hits his rope walking spin kick to take Bryan down.  Cross Rhodes is countered into the LeBell Lock (which Bryan put on a bit differently it seemed, twisting Cody’s forearm around too) for the tap out at 6:04 shown of 9:34.

Rating: B. I rather liked this.  It’s good to see Bryan get a win here as he could certainly be a solid midcard guy if not made to be a jobber.  Cody looked like he got caught rather than beaten which is a good way to end it for both guys, especially after a long and competitive match.  No complaints here at all as this was a quite good match.

Post match Cody beats up Bryan, hitting Cross Rhodes and giving him a paper bag.

Here’s the Obama press conference thing again.  It wasn’t funny the first time and it’s stupid by this point.

Heath Slater vs. Ezekiel Jackson

Booker goes WAY old school by mentioning the One Man Gang and Devastation Inc, saying Jackson is both.  He’s Inc?  As in I can buy stock in him?  Slater tries to use speed and that doesn’t work well in the slightest.  Jackson keeps throwing Slater around so Slater keeps charging at him.  Well he is from West Virginia.  Here come the slams and after only two of them there’s the Rack.  And there’s Corre for the DQ at 2:37.  I’d assume this will lead to a gimmick match of some kind…..gauntlet maybe?  Jackson fights them off this time.  Somehow they work bullying into this.  I’m so fed up with that I’m out of jokes for it.

Christian says he was the last one picked for kickball but at the end of the game he’d kick more home runs that anyone.  Apparently he was a Canadian Kickball Champion four times in a row.  He was the last one of his friends to hit puberty but when he hit prom he had the prettiest girlfriend in the school.  He was also the last person anyone thought would reach the top of WWE but he did it, and he’s going to do it again.  I’d have put that on someone like Shawn Stasiak but ok.

Great Khali vs. Kane

Before the match we get a recap of Jinder Mahal smacking Khali last week and making him all evil again.  Singh is here again this week.  This is billed as the Monsters’ Brawl.  Khali overpowers him to start, taking him into the corner.  He chokes away, kind of wrestling heel here.  Off to the nerve hold as I guess 1:40 of action was too much for Khali.  That’s getting into Dusty territory there.  Big chop misses and they both grab for chokeslams.  Khali sends him to the floor but Kane guillotines him on the top rope and the flying clothesline ends this at 2:33.  No rating but this was pretty bad, even for a battle of the giants.

Mahal comes out again, this time with music that is similar to Khali’s original song.  He yells at Khali more and smacks him before going after Singh.  Khali defends his brother but then puts the vice grip on Singh. Khali is a bully now.  For the love of all things good and holy, FIND SOMETHING NEW TO MAKE PEOPLE HEELS!

We get a clip from Raw of Show being injured.  Apparently he’s going to need several weeks of rehab.

Booker is in the ring, complete with some theme music.  He wants Cole to get into the ring which Cole begrudgingly does.  Booker wants to talk about the Kiss My Foot match and we get a clip of the toe being in his mouth.  Booker says he was just playing and puts his arm around an annoyed Cole.  He starts a Kiss My Feet chant and that’s it for this segment.  Uh yeah…because this warranted TV time.

Sheamus doesn’t want to answer Striker’s questions but says he’s tired of hearing about Christian winning the title and Henry has won a total of nothing since he’s been here.  Sheamus won his first world title in a few months, which is very true.

After a clip of Kharma’s breakdown on Raw, it’s time for a tag match.

Alicia Fox/Tamina vs. AJ/Kaitlyn

AJ!!!  Seriously, that girl is too cute for words.  Natalya is with the NXT chicks.  We get an inset clip of them talking as Kaitlyn doesn’t like Tamina/Alicia because there are too many A’s in their names.  AJ vs. Alicia to start us off and that doesn’t last long as it’s off to Kaitlyn.  She’s downright passable in the ring now which is a miracle by comparison.  Kaitlyn gets a side slam for two and everything breaks down.  Never mind though as Alicia gets the axe kick to Kaitlyn and we’re done at 1:37.  That was the only major move the heels hit the entire time.

Henry says he’ll win and he’s NOT boring or irrelevant.

Macho Man tribute video.  That’s the only one that has ever gotten to me.

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry vs. Christian

Winner gets Orton next week apparently and not at Capitol Punishment.  Booker picks Sheamus.  Everyone goes at it at once to start but the monsters take Christian down quickly.  Cole is being a jerk again here and picks Sheamus also.  The double teaming continues but Christian slides to the floor.  Sheamus goes after him but is sent into the steps.  I’ll give him this: Sheamus isn’t a cowardly heel.  That’s a big plus for him.

Henry takes over on Christian with his basic variety of move, standing on his chest.  The referee can be heard saying he can’t break it because there are no rules and therefore no counting.  Sheamus pops back in and rolls up Christian for two as Henry is knocked down to the floor.  Sheamus sets for the Brogue Kick but Christian hits the Killswitch out of nowhere, only for Henry to make the save.

Here comes Orton after about three and a half minutes and we take a break.  Back with Henry pounding on Christian.  Josh makes an interesting comment that this is Henry and Christian against Sheamus.  Bear hug to the Canadian but Sheamus comes back in.  The monsters go at it until Henry grabs a belly to belly and heaves Sheamus back out to the floor.  Cool looking move.

Christian is taken down by Henry just ramming into him which gets two.  Christian avoids a drop down and hits a pair of middle rope dropkicks to take the big fat tub of goo down.  Sheamus pops up to take Christian down off the top and then hammers on Sheamus.  He’s an equal opportunity heel I guess.  Christian and Sheamus hammer away at each other on the top and down goes the pale one, but Christian jumps into a World’s Strongest Slam for two.

Booker says we’re like 18 minutes into this.  By my math it’s more like 12 but when has wrestling ever had adequate watches?  Henry is sent to the floor and the High Cross (name changed again) is countered into a pendulum kick.  Tornado DDT gets two.  Henry takes out Orton for no apparent reason but gets sent into Sheamus by Christian.  Spear takes down Sheamus but Orton comes in for an RKO to Henry.  The distraction lets Sheamus kick out and Christian yells at the referee just long enough to let Sheamus kick his head off for the pin at 11:38 shown of 15:08.

Rating: B-. Not too bad here as they kept Sheamus kind of in the middle and gave us a nice surprise at the end.  This not being for the PPV title shot is a nice touch as it’ll probably set up Christian running in to set up Christian vs. Orton III at Capitol Punishment.  Either way, not bad at all here with a decent triple threat match, even though I’m beyond sick of them.

Overall Rating: B. I liked it here as Smackdown continues their no nonsense road (more often than not) which works rather well.  A key thing to Smackdown: their pacing is great.  You never go more than about five minutes between matches and even though they’re short, they all have a point and address something else.  They had six matches, same as Impact, two of which didn’t last two minutes, and yet they had more wrestling and nothing stupid.  It’s the difference in how you run a TV show and the differences are striking.  Pretty good show but not great here, as is usual for Smackdown.

Results

Sin Cara b. Chavo Guerrero – Headscissors into a mat slam

Daniel Bryan b. Cody Rhodes – LeBell Lock

Ezekiel Jackson b. Heath Slater via DQ when Corre interfered

Kane b. Great Khali – Top rope clothesline

Alicia Fox/Tamina b. AJ/Kaitlyn – Axe kick to Kaitlyn

Sheamus b. Christian and Mark Henry – Brogue Kick to Christian

NXT
Date: May 24, 2011
Location: Spokane Veterans Memorial Arena, Spokane, Washington
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal

It’s week like 12 or so but we’re FINALLY down to five people.  Hopefully tonight we’ll get the announcement that we’re going to go down to four in the near future.  If nothing else it’s almost a guarantee that we’re going to get the Savage video again which is going to be more entertaining than anything else we’ve seen this entire season.  Anyway there isn’t much else to say so let’s get to it.

Titus vs. Darren tonight, AGAIN.  This time it’s No DQ though so it’s all ok right?

Here’s Saxton to blame Yoshi for various faults he has and saying he doesn’t need him anymore.  Saxton declares independence from Yoshi and says he’s now to be known as Big League Byron Saxton.  Isn’t that chewing gum?  Anyway Maryse comes out in a dress shorter than her legs.  She hosts this show, not him.  Maryse introduces the show and says that tonight it’s Yoshi/Saxton vs. Kidd/Cannon.  The second elimination is next week.  YES!!!

Tyson Kidd/Lucky Cannon vs. Yoshi Tatsu/Byron Saxton

Yoshi is far more fired up this week than last and starts vs. Cannon here.  Kidd comes in and the beatdown is on.  Kidd gets sent down as we take a break.  Back with Cannon hammering on Tatsu as apparently during the break Kidd injured Yoshi’s arm.  Time for the arm work which makes sense here.  Nice to see it making sense rather than just being thrown on in a vain attempt to look smart.

Cannon hammers away on the arm as there’s a nice little story here of Saxton not coming in, which I’d assume is going to be the final point of the match.  Armbar goes on by Cannon as the fans cheer for Yoshi.  Superplex attempt is blocked and Yoshi gets a top rope spinwheel kick to take both him and Lucky down.  Yoshi STILL won’t tag and it’s off to Kidd.  Big kick gets two for Yoshi and Byron tags himself in, only to get grabbed into a Sharpshooter by Kidd for the tap as Yoshi won’t help.  Match ran 8:55.

Rating: C+. Not as bad as you would think here as there were a few stories going on in there and yet they managed to hold it together and get a not bad match out of it.  The whole idea of Saxton running his mouth and having it come back to bite him is a nice touch but I’m not entirely sure I get Yoshi’s reasoning behind not tagging in, other than maybe to teach Byron a lesson.

Byron yells at Yoshi post match and gets his head kicked off.

Raw ReBound is about Big Show having his leg injured by Ricardo and Alberto.  That’s an interesting story and I’m curious as to where it goes.

We recap Young and Titus and Horny’s situation over the last few weeks, namely Horny being adult with a beard that can speak at times but later lost the ability to for no apparent reason and lives under the ring in a town or something and is treated like a kid-napped.  We see Young and Chavo beating on him and yeah, there it is.  This is about bullying.

Chavo says he’ll be watching tonight and that’s about it.

JTG vs. Conor O’Brian

Regal is all ticked off that JTG is still here which is kind of funny.  We take a break to shill That’s What I Am some more before O’Brian’s entrance.  We get a clip of the dance off from last week which Regal says reminds him of a night with Arn Anderson.  I honestly do not want to know if I want to hear that story or not.  JTG sends him to the floor after a brief run by O’Brian started us off.

That more or less ends my level of interest in the match as O’Brian’s lack of anything resembling interest or uniqueness or anything noteworthy at all.  JTG takes over and Regal says he might have to eat some of his words.  And of course O’Brian rolls JTG up just a few seconds later and we’re done at 3:54.

Rating: F. This is biased beyond belief but more or less Conor O’Brian is officially a failure no matter what he does out there.  Naturally with this win he’s going to stick around again so that Saxton can be sent home for rebelling or something stupid like that while the BULLY is allowed to stay too because while we hate bullies, we have no problem with tolerating them and paying them right?

JTG beats him down post match and Vlad makes the save.

Titus can’t find Horny again but he’s hiding in a travel bag.  Darren and Chavo are bullies don’t you know.

Ad for WWE All-Stars.  Isn’t that game like three months old?

Titus O’Neil vs. Darren Young

No DQ here because even NXT gets that the same match four or five times in a season is stupid.  Titus yells about being a bully the entire time to REALLY hammer the point home I guess.  Modified abdominal stretch goes on as Titus hammers away.  Gee a larger man picking on someone else because they don’t like something about him.  That couldn’t POSSIBLY be considered bullying right?

Young gets a shot in as we’ve stayed in the ring the entire time so far.  Horny is watching in the back as Titus sends Darren to the floor.  Titus sends him into the post and table but that’s it for the No DQ stuff because that stuff NEVER happens in a regular match right?  Chavo interferes when the referee isn’t looking because he couldn’t do it when he was looking right?  That takes us to a break.

Back with Young ramming Titus’ back into the ring and then his face into it as well.  It’s a matched set now I guess.  Back in the ring now as this needs to end rather quickly.  Titus makes his comeback and runs Darren over a few times, adding a shoulderbreaker for two.  Chavo comes in, finally realizing it’s No DQ.  Horny is watching in the back and freaks out when Chavo gets a chain.  He puts a ninja bandana on as Chavo uses the chain.  Here’s Samurai Swoggle (I hate you Todd Grisham) who Titus uses as a battering ram.  Clash of Titus sets up the Tadpole Splash for the pin at 8:22.

Rating: C-. The match was surprisingly decent but the anti-bullying stuff just killed it.  I mean they were YELLING it at each other the whole match.  I’ll spare you a long rant about why I cannot stand the anti-bullying movement and summarize it by saying I think the whole thing is one of the stupidest things that has been forced down our throats in a very long time.  Anyway, that was the point of this match, so you better pay attention because your very soul depends on you NEVER being mean to anyone the slightest bit different than you in your entire life.

No Savage video.  Are you kidding me?

Overall Rating: D+. This is probably the most wrestling there’s been on NXT in months.  That being said, we’ve seen these guys fight so many times over the same things that it was bound to lose any remaining interest it had a long time ago, and that’s the point they’ve hit here.  There is no reason for these people to fight anymore.  Back in the older seasons this was remedied by guest stars but that has fallen off the table because that would imply people knowing this exists anymore.  Not the worst show ever, but just completely uninteresting.

Results

Tyson Kidd/Lucky Cannon b. Byron Saxton/Yoshi Tatsu – Sharpshooter to Saxton

Conor O’Brian b. JTG – Small Package

Titus O’Neil b. Darren Young – Pin after a Tadpole Splash

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 23, 2011
Location: Rose Garden, Portland, Oregon
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Josh Matthews

We’re past Over the Limit and after another Cena torture movie he’s still WWE Champion.  Also Jerry Lawler finally got his revenge on Cole in a humiliating defeat.  Tonight we’ll start building towards Capitol Punishment in four weeks.  It should be interesting to see where we go from here as it seems a lot of feuds wrapped up last night.  Let’s get to it.

An in memory of Randy Savage graphic opens us up.

Theme song hits.

Here’s Lawler who says that the long national nightmare is over because Michael Cole has been beaten.  He said he had an ace up his sleeve last night.  Actually he had a Hart up his sleeve, and here’s the Hitman!  Bret says he’s always respected Jerry over the years as a competitor despite not always seeing things the same way.  He had no respect for Michael Cole though so he as glad to help him taste the agony of “de-feet”.

R-Truth of all people comes out to talk to Bret.  He says Bret must be a 90 time WWE Champion and wants Bret to ask him how many championship matches he’s had.  That would be zero because he didn’t care about the little Jimmys like Bret did.  He asks if there’s something he can give to the fans and asks to take Bret’s shades to give to the fans.

Truth finds a Little Jimmy in the front row and gives him the glasses.  “I’m a good R-Truth now.”  Now he thinks he should be next in line for a WWE Championship match but he isn’t.  Truth takes the glasses back and goes to see Bret again.  It’s about wins and losses, not giving the fans what they want.  He put out John Morrison and he beat Rey last night but now he needs to beat on a Hall of Famer.

Bret says go ahead and try it but he got championship matches because he’s the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be.  Truth doesn’t get championship matches because he’s a freaking lunatic.  Truth doesn’t like that but here’s Cena before we see what he says next.  Cena limps out and is clearly in pain.  It’s a mostly pro-Cena crowd tonight.

Cena chats with Bret for a bit and now it’s time to talk to the resident lunatic.  Cena says he and Truth used to be cool but now he lost his mind.  Truth: “Used to?  Used to is a rooster from Brewster.”  Well ok then.  This thing Truth has been on is all about Cena apparently.  The people make it all about him.  Cena says that Truth is wrong and that he makes it all about the people.

Truth says that it’s all about Cena and how he has to get the Cena shirt, the Cena wristbands, go see the new Cena movie, HE WANTS HIS SON BACK!  It’s all about him now and he isn’t going to feel right until he gets his WWE Title match.  Cena says he’s a bit broken up from last night but it’s about time someone knocked some sense into Truth.  An E-Mail stops that though because the GM isn’t sure about Truth.  The main event is Truth/Punk vs. Rey/Cena with Bret as referee.  Bret gives the kid the sunglasses in a nice touch.

Show and Kane are sitting on a nice car and Show says that they’re going to be in a pack tonight, I think talking about Nexus.  Ricardo comes up and yells in Spanish so Show shoves him down.  Alberto comes up and yells in Spanish too.  The big guys actually leave as Alberto rambles more in Spanish.

Tag Titles: Big Show/Kane vs. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty

I don’t get why these two didn’t have the tag title shot last night since they won last week.  Punk has boots up to his thighs that are white/yellow and look a bit odd.  He sits in on commentary here.  Kane and Otunga start us off and David heads to the floor to avoids a seated dropkick.  A small chase starts but Otunga misses an elbow drop as Kane fakes him out.

Show comes in to a big pop and here’s Michael as well.  Show sends him to the floor with ease as we take a break.  Back with Nexus working over Kane as Punk says he doesn’t care which Nexus team wins the titles.  Orunga gets a neckbreaker on Kane for two.  Show comes in soon thereafter and the beatdown is on.  Punk talks about how everything is going to be ok and Ryan tries to come in.  Kane takes him down but Punk says he has faith and kicks Show in the head.  A double DDT to Show and we have new champions at 8:54 total.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here and it’s probably a good thing to see the giants lose the titles.  They can only go so far with the titles before things get really boring with them.  Nexus needed something to go with here and the tag titles tend to be the first thing you’re given to get something established.

Back with a video of Orton at a Wal-Mart signing That’s What I Am DVDs.  Not as bad a movie as I was expecting even though he was in it less than five minutes.

Big Show and Kane are asked about frustration and Show is all ticked off.  Alberto for some reason Slaps him in the face and runs off.  The camera goes down and when we find them Alberto’s car is on Show’s leg!  Kane shouts at everyone and Ricardo backs the car off.  Show screams a lot as medics arrive.  Show tries to get up but falls right back down.

Back and Big Show still tries to stand, this time getting over to something to lean on.  He won’t sit on a stretcher and looks like he’s going to try to walk it off.

Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne

Swagger misses a shot in the corner and Bourne snaps off a rana.  And there goes that momentum as he runs into a big boot as Swagger takes over.  Off to an armbar but the Vader Bomb misses.  Bourne gets some kicks in but can’t get anywhere with it.  One is caught into an ankle lock but Bourne gets out again.  Another rana attempts is reversed into a HUGE gutwrecnch powerbomb to end this at 2:10.  That impact was awesome.

Post match Bourne is up already and gets a kick to the head of Swagger to send him to the floor in a heap.

Cole is walking around in the back and walks past the Divas, offering Eve a handshake.  She sticks her foot in his face instead.  He’s up next.

Rock’s new movie has done incredibly well.

Here’s Cole and he asks for our attention but then says he doesn’t deserve it.  He wants to apologize to everyone from Jerry to Matthews to Justin Roberts to Mark Yeaton to the fans in Portland to the people all over the WWE Universe.  He just wants to come home and do commentary on Raw.  He wants to come back with no Cole Mine and no more matches but just one more chance.

Jerry says thanks for that and thanks for giving him a picture for this year’s Christmas card, which is Cole having Jerry’s foot in his mouth.  The fans keep chanting You Suck Toes.  Jerry also hands him a box of Altoids which Cole accepts.  They offer him a chair but here’s Miz as Cole sits down.

Miz says there is only one reason why he didn’t win the WWE Championship last night, and that reason is Alex Riley.  This isn’t the first time Riley has failed either as he wasn’t at the steel cage match, he cost Miz the title three weeks ago because they dropped the belt and then last night he had the cell phone fall on the ground.  Miz wants one more chance at Cena in a one on one match with Alex Riley barred from ringside.  He isn’t going to leave the ring until he gets an answer either.

There’s an E-Mail and the GM denies the request.  Miz is done with Cena because he lost against last night.  Riley points out that it wasn’t him that quit and Miz slaps him.  Miz goes off on Riley and fires him and the fight is on!  Riley is destroying Miz, ripping the clothes off of him and throwing him onto the announce table.  Riley beats Miz up and we actually get a big Riley chant!  Miz is almost out.  Riley leaves Miz laying in the middle of the ring in one of the better face turns I’ve seen in a good while.

Melina/Maryse/Bella Twins vs. Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly/Beth Phoenix/Gail Kim

Cole continues to try to be different tonight, saying Miz might have had that coming to him and praising the Divas, enjoying the chance to call the match.  A Bella (announcers aren’t sure either) vs. Kelly to start.  And here’s Kharma maybe 10 seconds into it to a nice pop.

Beth rallies the troops to stare down Kharma who walks to the ring anyway.  She climbs up to the apron and climbs in, not really focusing on anyone.  The Divas surround her and it’s a weird staredown moment.  Kharma sticks her arms out and her hands start shaking.  She gets on her knees and something is censored out.  Kharma starts crying with her lips quivering.  She’s rocking back and forth a bit and shaking her head.  She’s saying something but we can’t hear it.  We go to a break with her more or less having a breakdown in the middle of the ring.

Back and we see a clip of Kharma’s breakdown again.

We get a clip of Extreme Rules where Kofi won the US Title back.

Drew McIntyre vs. Kofi Kingston

Non-Title here.  Drew has a ton of pyro now.  Drew is moving out there tonight as they have a very fast paced start but Kofi can’t get over Drew on a leapfrog and Drew works on the knee.  Figure Four on the post as this has been all Drew other than some nice speed moves by Kofi.  Kofi kicks him off though and manages the Boom Drop on one good leg.

He can’t even attempt Trouble in Paradise though and collapses, allowing Drew to get a kick to the chest for two.  Drew tries a knee crusher which Kofi half counters into a rana position, only for Drew to powerbomb him down for a long two.  Into the corner but Kofi pulls SOS out of nowhere for the surprise pin at 4:28.  Vickie and Ziggler are shown watching.  Dolph is blonde again.

Rating: C+. I liked this match with Drew having control due to the bad knee and Kofi having to fight from behind here the entire time.  The knee stuff was good with Drew being all aggressive, but he lost again which doesn’t really help him all that much at the end of the day.  Good to see him on TV again though.

We get a dream sequence of all three commentators imagining what would happen if President Obama had a press conference about Capitol Punishment.  They’ve asked Congress, the Washington Nationals to the forest reserve to the PPV.

Nexus celebrates their win and Punk says watch what he’s about to do.  Main event is up next.

Alberto says he had nothing to do with Show’s injury and blames Ricardo for it.

It’s time for what a lot of people have been asking for all night: the Randy Savage tribute.  A voiceover talks about how awesome his career was and how when everyone was being flamboyant he was better at it than anyone.  Set to Pomp and Circumstance we talk about his matches with Hogan, the Mania 3 match, Slim Jim, the fans imitating him (but never being able to duplicate him).

A barrage of Savage promos set up a highlight reel set to a sad song about setting someone apart and being a shame to be apart.  There’s a focus on his relationship with Liz and the clips are mostly from his face runs.  They’re showing things in sets here, such as his robes and then a bunch of shots of his elbows and finally the in memory graphic as he gets a standing ovation and a loud Macho Man chant.  Very nicely done.

John Cena/Rey Mysterio vs. R-Truth/CM Punk

Bret is referee here.  Punk has pink tights with stars on them like Savage had at Mania 4 where he won his first WWF Title.  Cena and Truth to start with Cena sending him to the floor as we take a break.  Back with Punk in control, ramming in elbows in the corner.  Cena speeds things up a bit and Punk hides behind Bret in a funny spot.  Truth comes in and takes over on Cena with some basic stuff for two.

Back off to Punk and I can’t help but smile at the tights.  Punk hits Bret’s floatover Russian Legsweep and it’s the TWO MOVES OF DOOM!  Suplex gets two and it’s off to Truth again who gets in Bret’s face.  Punk adds a backbreaker but Cena reverses a Sharpshooter into an STF attempt.  Punk loads him up for the GTS but Cena counters into a DDT and both guys are down.

Rey comes in and everything breaks down quickly.  Cena falls down because of bad ribs and Truth shouts how do you like me now?  Rey dropkicks Truth in the back and sets for the 619.  Bret drills Punk and adds a Sharpshooter and Rey drops a dime on Punk’s head for the pin at 9:48.  Cena jumps in the air with a leap that would make Orton jealous.

Rating: C. Just a main event tag match here but at the same time it was kind of a mess.  Not bad to be sure but I’m really not sure what this accomplishes other than a feel good moment I guess.  It was like they weren’t sure what to do here so they did a modified comedy match.  Not bad, but really nothing special at all.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a hard one to grade here.  The show was certainly eventful but the lack of wrestling hurts it.  This was far more of a show about resetting a lot of things which is something they really had to do after last night and they did a good job of that, but the lack of wrestling got in the way here.  The Savage tribute was well done and needed and I’m very glad we got one.  The title change was also good and Kharma’s breakdown is something worth keeping an eye on, but overall I wasn’t buying into the whole show.  Good, but certainly not epic or great.  It got stuff done though, which was the idea.

Results

David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty b. Kane/Big Show – Double DDT to Big Show

Jack Swagger b. Evan Bourne – Gutwrench Powerbomb

Melina/Maryse/Bella Twins vs. Eve Torries/Kelly Kelly/Beth Phoenix/Gail Kim went to a no contest when Kharma interfered

Kofi Kingston b. Drew McIntyre – SOS

John Cena/Rey Mysterio b. CM Punk/R-Truth – Springboard legdrop to Punk

Over the Limit 2011
Date: May 22, 2011
Location: KeyArena, Seattle, Washington
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Booker T, Josh Matthews, Michael Cole

It’s Over the Limit again which was a totally worthless show last year which is about what I’m expecting this year.  The main event is Miz vs. Cena in an I Quit match while on the other side you have Christian vs. Orton in their rematch.  The first match was good so this should be as well with more time and some experience to work with.  All in all though it looks weak but I’ve been wrong before.  Let’s get to it.

There’s a graphic saying in memory of Randy Savage to open us up.  Certainly better than nothing.

The opening video is about what the human body is capable of when it’s pushed over the limit.  Not bad but a bit basic.  Then again there isn’t much you can do with a theme like Over the Limit.

Rey Mysterio vs. R-Truth

Truth just has the one line to start his lack of music now.  The Truth is that it’s all about parking lots.  He got here today and didn’t have a parking spot so he had to park with the rest of the fans in the rain.  It’s a conspiracy and while he’s danced and pranced for all of the Little Jimmys, it’s gotten him nowhere.  He doesn’t play games like Rey Mysterio who wears that toy mask.  He’s taking Rey’s spot and that’s the Truth.

There are cars on the stage like last year.  One is a Mustang and I can’t tell on the other one.  Lawler points out how stupid it is to be worried about a parking space when you have a match on PPV.  Leave it to the veterans to make sense.  Booker says Truth should have changed his attitude a long time ago.  Is Booker a subtle heel commentator and I’m just missing it?

Rey makes Truth madder and manages to send him to the floor where a hurricanrana from the apron takes him down.  Truth, in his purple shoes, takes over by hammering Rey in the corner.  That gets him nowhere as Rey outmoves him of course.  Cole quotes a Kid Rock song from 2002 by saying it ain’t bragging if you do it and you back it up as Rey is sent to the floor.

Truth keeps stopping Rey when he tries to get something going, including hitting a sitout gordbuster for two.  Lawler seems like he has a cold and Cole makes fun of him for it of course.  Rey makes a comeback and gets a middle rope bulldog for two.  As in Truth was on the middle rope which was a new twist on it.  Springboard cross body and a running kick both get two.

Top rope seated senton hits but Truth gets the spinning forearm which is more spin than forearm out of nowhere for a close two.  Axe kick misses so Rey tries a rollup which doesn’t connect.  The jumping reverse Stunner doesn’t hit so Rey kicks him to the floor.  Truth pulls him off the apron to crotch Rey on the ring skirt which is something that is hardly ever used.  A Downward Spiral ends this clean.  Nice to see Rey lose again.

Rating: C. Pretty dull match here but Truth winning is certainly the right move.  Raw needs more top heels and a crazy man like Truth is a good place to start.  Truth hopefully can now move past Rey and maybe on to a US Title run or a quick feud with Cena perhaps.  Still though, not much of a match but there were enough good spots to make it a good match.  Please though, get him a new finisher other than a Downward Spiral.

Miz says that people say he has no chance of winning tonight.  Those are the same people that said he was a joke or would be fired in three days or he’d cash in MITB and lose but he’s proven them all wrong, which he’ll do again tonight.  Very true actually.  Riley cuts off the catchphrase by saying he’s the new WWE Champion instead of Awesome.

Cole talks about rubbing raw fish on his feet.  “Lawler: You are really an idiot.”

We recap Jackson vs. Barrett.  Corre attacked Jackson because Jackson was starting to think about himself too much.  Jackson keeps trying to beat down Corre so Barrett challenged Jackson to a match for no apparent reason for Barrett’s IC Title.

Intercontinental Title: Ezekiel Jackson vs. Wade Barrett

Barrett comes out sans Corre which implies run in to me.  Jackson is freaky big.  Booker talks about Jackson winning his first title, even though this would be his second (ECW Title).  Idiots chant boring about 8 seconds after the bell rings.  Talk about being prejudiced.  Barrett hammers away to start.  It’s a good thing that people sell his punches a lot because he’s the bareknuckles champions or whatever right?

Jackson sends him to the floor and the chase is on.  Jackson catches a big boot attempt as they get back in and runs Barrett over.  Power vs. power here even thought Barrett isn’t much of a power guy.  Cole says the three others are some of the most boring broadcasters he’s ever heard.  Barrett claims a neck injury but is just pretending.  That’s a bad IC Champion!

He sends Big Zeke into the post shoulder first a few times and adds a big boot with Jackson’s head against the post.  Cole has a big surprise for the Lawler match later.  For the love of all things good and holy, let it end there.  Barrett gets a middle rope elbow for two which I hope isn’t your only Macho Man reference tonight.  Cole and Booker argue about sheep and wolves or whatever as Barrett locks on a chinlock.

Wasteland is blocked and Jackson can’t get anywhere as he walks into a kick to the ribs and a pumphandle slam.  Jackson snaps and starts his series of like four slams in a row which I think is kind of a cool idea.  It would hurt your back if you kept having it done to you.  The fans seem to like it too so why not?  Five slams sets up the Torture Rack and here’s Gabriel for the pretty obvious DQ.

Rating: C+. Call me crazy but I liked it.  Jackson with those slams was a surprisingly well received move.  The Torture Rack is a good finisher for him so at least they’re starting to book him right.  The ending is kind of cheap as it’s what we’ve seen for months now, but that’s about what you have to expect.  Somehow Barrett has the longest current title reign in the company.  That’s kind of surprising.

Corre beats down Jackson post match including a Boss Man Slam and a big boot, both from Wade.  No 450 though.

Mason Ryan finds Otunga and McGillicutty down in the back.  They say it was Show and Kane.  Punk says it means they can show how awesome they are.  He barely seems to care about the two guys down.  Punk says walk it off.

Sin Cara vs. Chavo Guerrero

The idea here is Chavo claims that he invented most of what Cara does, which isn’t true but it makes for a good storyline.  They’re in the weird lighting again here and Chavo has the shorts back.  Cara takes over with some speed stuff but Chavo stops him, in theory because he knows the moves better and knows how to counter them.

Out to the floor and Cara does his usually awesome stuff but back in the ring a limping Chavo hammers him down into the corner.  Cara hits a nice moonsault press for two.  The lighting thing is a bit annoying in a long match.  It looks like the light is sick or something.  It’s a standard ground game vs. high flying match which is similar to what Chavo owned the world at back in 2000 so this works fine.

We hit the floor again and Cara crushes him with a big dive.  Top rope rana sets up some kicks and a handspring elbow as he channels his inner Tajiri.  Top rope cross body gets two.  Cara keeps trying to speed it up and it’s only kind of working.  A springboard….head drag I guess sends Chavo down again.  I think it was supposed to be La Mistica (headscissors into an armbar) but it wound up looking awful and Cara pins him with it.  Horrible looking botch.

Rating: C. Pretty good match here as Chavo can keep up with Cara.  The ending brings it down a lot though and the lighting thing has to go because now it’s time for Cara to move up to the midcard.  He’s gotten some experience under his belt and it should be enough for him to have some matches with other midcard guys.  He’ll bring in the Mexican audience which is the point of signing him.  Decent enough match though.

More anti-bullying jazz.

Randy and Christian have a quick chat about getting to be champion which doesn’t go much of anywhere other than repeating talking points.

Alberto is here thankfully.  It’s a PPV with a car theme so how could he not be here?  He’s here to talk about immigration apparently as everyone is complaining about various things.  Ok never mind as he wants to talk about not being sad about being in a WWE Title match because his destiny can’t be stopped.  He’ll be champion some day.

Big Show’s music cuts him off and here come the tag champions.  Kane is disappointed that there wasn’t a rapture yesterday because he was looking forward to it.  Alberto bails before getting his head knocked off.

Tag Titles: CM Punk/Mason Ryan vs. Big Show/Kane

Kane vs. Ryan to start us off here and the fans chant Batista.  This crowd is getting on my nerves in a hurry.  Power vs. Power of course and here’s Show.  Ryan goes all Big Zeke on him, taking him down with a clothesline.  Off to Punk vs. Show.  The giants take turns beating down Punk, probably jealous of all the hair gel.  Ryan comes in to work on Kane as Punk has the word Macho on his tape.

Show stomps on the steps and it sounds like the building is falling down.  The bulldog out of the corner is blocked and Punk is almost shoved into the big punch.  Instead Punk dropkicks the knee and brings in Ryan who hits an old school Oklahoma Stampede.  Bearhug time and Ryan just throws Kane around which is ultra rare.  Kane grabs a suplex but Punk comes in to stop the tag.

Punk goes up top in a rare move for him.  Is that a theme for this match or something?  The elbow drop from the top misses and I can’t help but smile.  It’s enough to bring in Show who cleans house as he is known to do.  Double chokeslam to Ryan and we’re done.  Sometimes there’s no substitute for just picking someone up and drilling them like that.

Rating: C. For the elbow alone this isn’t a failure.  It’s very cool to see someone throw that out in a tribute to one of the best of all time and something told me it would be Punk.  Just seems like something he’d do.  Anyway, Show and Kane winning isn’t that surprising as it can play into the problems in Nexus a bit more.  This was fine for what it was.

Ad for Capitol Punishment featuring…..President Obama?  It’s one of those fake questions featuring real clips from a press conference.  At least it’s four weeks away.

Divas Title: Brie Bella vs. Kelly Kelly

Cole even says this will be boring.  This is about what you would expect: both girls do a few things, neither really are that good, both look good in tiny shorts, which is why they have their jobs I suppose.  LONG armbar by Brie wastes some time.  There’s Twin Magic, X-Factor, Nikki gets the pin.

Rating: F. Dang it why did this have to be long enough to grade?  The match was awful the whole way through as they have no business being on PPV.  Watching Nunzio as the referee and the girls looking good are the only high spots here.  Also, no sign of Kharma.  How in the world can you validate this being on PPV?  I give up.

Cole goes to get ready…..and the world title match is next?  Wow indeed.

We recap Christian vs. Orton.  Basic story here: Christian needs to prove his reign wasn’t a fluke and he needs to prove that he can beat Orton on full rest.  Somehow that takes long enough to heat up some grilled cheese to explain.

Smackdown World Title: Randy Orton vs. Christian

Big match intros fill in some time as we have almost an hour and a half left and three matches to go.  Booker talks about how awesome Orton is because of his lineage, even though his grandfather was a relative unknown and his dad was good but not great.  The crowd gets into it a bit and Booker goes into a LONG speech about Christian and hitting the button to make an engine go faster or something.

Anyway, Christian gets a middle rope dropkick for two as he’s controlled so far.  Orton does his apparently now signature toe touching thing on a leapfrog.  The crowd is FAR more into this than the rest of the show combined.  Off to a chinlock by Christian as Booker actually points something out: Christian doesn’t pick guys up that much.  Big old dropkick by Orton but he can’t get much of an advantage going.

Lawler is gone too if I didn’t mention that.  Orton hits a full on superplex for a close two.  Orton fires off those uppercuts with one of them being countered into a backslide for two.  Spinebuster gets two for the Canadian.  They slug it out and Christian goes up for a missile dropkick, only to get caught in a jackknife cover which he reverses into a sunset flip for two.  Christian takes him down again and a swan dive headbutt gets two.

The fans seem to be more behind Christian here, but then again most people don’t care about Orton until he hits the RKO.  Orton starts his stomp.  OH NO!  HE KICKED HIM IN THE FOOT!!!  IT’S UTTER DEVASTATION!!!!!  Kneedrop gets two but Christian gets a Killswitch attempt which is countered into an RKO attempt.  That gets countered into another Killswitch attempt but Orton pulls the legs out and gets a reverse Boston Crab (Billy Goat’s Curse for you Colt Cabana fans) which I’ve never seen in WWE.

Christian grabs the rope but it’s nice to see a new move being thrown out there like that.  He fakes Orton out in the corner and gets a VERY close two off a sunset flip out of the corner.  Important there because the fake out was the same move that Christian got caught in the RKO with in their first title match.  Nice bit of psychology there.

Into the corner again and Christian tries the pendulum kick but Randy grabs the feet and shifts to an elevated DDT for a close two.  Orton loads up the RKO but Christian shoves him off and stars shouting SPEAR.  Ok, enough with the Edge references.  Perhaps it was the SHOUTING THE NAME OF THE MOVE but Orton snaps him off with a powerslam for two.  With Christian down Orton sets for the Punt of all things but he can’t bring himself to do it.

He charges again but Christian pops up with a spear for a VERY close two.  Christian goes into one of his old school fits almost as this is a rather good match.  Christian sets for the Killswitch again but it gets countered as does the second attempt, the first into an RKO attempt and the second into an attempted belly to back suplex.  Christian flips out of it but as he goes for the Killswitch again, it’s RKO time and Orton survives this.

Rating: A-. Very good match here that topped their previous match with them adding the psychology and building on their previous match.  Orton showing respect to Christian like he did before on Smackdown is another nice touch as well as them adding in new stuff to make the match less predictable.  Well done match as Christian continues to impress.

They shake hands post match.

We recap Cole vs. Lawler so excuse me while I baste a turkey.

Ok I’m back now and what a shock it’s still going.  The idea is that Cole and Lawler hate each other and Cole has beaten him twice already.  Lawler has put up his Hall of Fame ring and if he loses he’ll induct Cole into the Hall of Fame.  Also the loser has to kiss the winner’s foot.  Cole also ticked off his muscle in Jack Swagger so he’s on his own here, at least in theory.

Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole

Remember that Cole has promised some kind of surprise all night.  Cole comes out in a suit and limping.  You can tell it’s officially an injury because he has a doctor’s note.  Or maybe he’s reading his lines.  Apparently it’s because of infected athlete’s foot.  If Cole’s foot goes into Lawler’s mouth Lawler might contract foot and mouth disease.  He gives the note to the referee and the referee rips it up.  RING THE BELL!

Lawler drills him into the corner and pounds away and there go Cole’s pants.  SOLID right hand and a dropkick send Cole to the floor.  Josh says vintage.  Cole manages to send him into the steps a few times and Cole takes the shoe off.  This ticks Jerry off and LAWLER THROWS HIM THROUGH THE COLE MINE!!!!!  Lawler celebrates the thing exploding which is a legit funny moment.  Middle rope punch brings the strap down and WE ARE DONE!  That made me smile.  No rating as it was total domination but still, awesome moment as Jerry destroyed him.

Jerry starts unzipping his boot but has an idea.  He waves someone out and here comes Eve.  She drills him with a moonsault as this is turning into exactly what it should have been.  Lawler still isn’t done as he waves out JR!  Appropriately enough JR has barbecue sauce.  He pours it into Cole’s mouth until it overflows and all over his face.  This is great.  Cole gets to the floor and tries to leave and says that he’s not a loser.  It’s Lawler and all the people that are losers.  He’s not going to kiss his……..BRET HART IS HERE!!!!!

THIS is what I mean when I say they need to give old school fans something special.  And before you ask, remember that it was Bret and Lawler in the first kiss my foot match.  Sharpshooter goes on the pencils that Cole calls legs and it’s time to kiss the feet, complete with barbecue sauce.  Cole is left totally destroyed and Bret’s music plays us out.  PERFECT ending to this segment as Cole is completely and utterly destroyed.

JR jumps in on commentary for the main event.

They show the replay a bunch of times and Cole’s face is priceless.

That’s What I Am video, which actually wasn’t all that bad.

We recap Miz vs. Cena.  More or less Cena got to pick the stips because it’s a match he flat out doesn’t lose.  This is their third PPV match so I kind of like the idea of having the odds stacked so high against Miz because he can say he didn’t deserve to lose but at the same time they’re almost too high.

Raw World Title: The Miz vs. John Cena

I Quit rules here and they have a LOT of time.  Miz has the coat again which is always a perk.  It’s only 20 past ten so they have a TON of time.  Miz grabs the mic and says that since there are no rules Riley is going to help him.  That helps a bit.  Riley more or less plays spoiler here as he breaks up an early STF attempt.  This is pretty smart actually.

The dueling chants begin as Cena puts Riley on the floor.  Cena initiates his ending sequence quickly but Miz countered into a Skull Crushing Finale attempt.  He walks into an FU but Riley pops in to massacre him with about 12 briefcase shots.  Double powerbomb out of the corner but Cena says no.  Booker more or less ends his employment by saying Cena has limited skills/abilities.  Well he has a job on the internet for life.

More beatings follow and Cena is sent into the barricade, drawing a no.  They set up the table and Miz hits a monitor shot to the head.  This is getting a bit brutal here.  Cena drills Riley and comes back on Miz but gets sent into the steps.  DDT on the steps and Cena doesn’t give up still.  That one was more meager though.  Miz cuts a short promo on Cena, saying that if he doesn’t give up Riley will slam the steps onto Cena’s ribs.  Cena say go away and there are the steps for him.

Riley gets in the ring and holds Cena’s arms back.  Miz says he has a weapon and will hit him with it if Cena doesn’t give up.  “You hit like a girl.”  That of course gets a no.  Miz GOES OFF on Cena who more or less tries in vain to cover up.  He still won’t quit though.  There are some sick marks all over Cena’s stomach from that stick.  This has been about 95% Miz/Riley.

The go up to the stage and Miz suplexes him on the stage.  Cena is screaming loudly but still won’t quit.  Matthews asks about Cena’s breaking point.  Haven’t we seen that show already?  Miz gets a running boot to the head to kick Cena off the stage.  Cena STILL won’t say he quits but he doesn’t say no for awhile this time.  They get a boom mic and a leather belt.  Miz talks to Cena on the mic again but Cena STILL won’t quit even at the threat of a whipping.  “You have a leather strap but you got no nuts.”

Cena more or less stops reacting other than sticking his leg up to try to block the belt shots.  He STILL says no, almost through tears.  They head back to the ring and Cena somehow keeps fighting but a chair to the ribs and back stops that run.  This is getting pretty awesome as it’s looking almost impossible for him to come back here and that Miz has the perfect plan.

Back in the ring and Cena AGAIN fights back.  And there goes the referee.  Cena can’t get the FU on Riley but Miz takes him down one more time.  He puts the chair between the ropes and it’s a Skull Crushing Finale THROUGH the chair which looks like it bent a bit.  Booker: “They seem like they’re trying to hurt him.”  Get this man off my commentary NOW.

Miz says maybe he needs to make this a bit more personal.  He goes to a fan and asks if Cena is his hero.  The kid says yes and he wants to know if he wants Cena to quit.  The kid says never.  Mic shot still gets a no from the fan.  Miz GOES OFF on the fan and the fan shrugs his shoulder.  Get actors next time Vince as the fan is hilarious here.  Miz threatens Cena with a ton of chair shots as he’s stuck in part of the barricade now.  Cena says the kids are smarter than he is which gets no reaction really.

BIG chair shot over the head for that one and now Riley wants him to say it.  THEY ACTUALLY DO THE RECORDED VOICE BIT!!!  Cena clearly didn’t move but a voiceover of him said it.  The referee wants the belt but he finds the tape recorder.  I think he’s calling shenanigans here.  It’s Riley’s phone so RESTART IT!  Riley sets for a belt shot but it takes Miz out instead.  FU to Riley through the table and Cena takes his own belt off.  A bunch of whippings and Miz quits like a girl to the STF (Cena said it earlier, not me).

Rating: B+. This is a very hit or miss match much like the I Quit match against Orton at Breaking Point in 2009.  You really have to check your brain at the door for this one but at the same time that makes it work.  They got brutal with this one and that made it work very well in the end of it all.  I got into it for a lot in there and the restart made sense too.  Good match, not for everyone though.

Overall Rating: B. Call this one a pleasant surprise.  I was thinking this would be nothing but we got two great matches and a great moment with Cole and Lawler.  The rest isn’t great but it’s certainly not all that bad.  I liked this show actually and it worked quite well all things considered.  When you have zero expectations and get a decent show with a very good final hour and a half or so, things are definitely looking up for it.  Good show overall.

Results

R-Truth b. Rey Mysterio – Downward Spiral

Ezekiel Jackson b. Wade Barrett via DQ when Justin Gabriel interfered

Sin Cara b. Chavo Guerrero – Headscissors

Big Show/Kane b. Mason Ryan/CM Punk – Double Chokeslam to Ryan

Brie Bella b. Kelly Kelly – Bella Buster

Randy Orton b. Christian – RKO

Jerry Lawler b. Michael Cole – Middle Rope Punch

John Cena b. The Miz – Miz said I Quit