Last night when I was writing the review I was thinking about Lawler and not really focused on the promo and I thought I’d talk about it a bit more here.I thought the promo was excellent and it really sold the story they’re telling.  The idea of Punk being delusional about his greatness and having the issue of respect going to his head and beyond is a classic but in Punk’s case his reign is starting to back it up.  Having Bret, one of the guys that Punk was so sure he was leaps and bounds ahead of take the champ down with a single punch was great as it woke Punk up and brought him somewhat back to reality.  You could see it in his eyes at the end of the night that he had gotten a wakeup call and that he could see the potential of what could happen to him on Sunday.

 

Also you have Cena who is his usual self and great in the big match promo.  People criticize him for being too perfect, but that’s the way his character is.  I really don’t get the idea of him being untouchable as he’s lost over and over throughout the last few years, including losing clean in the biggest match of his life.  I can kind of understand the idea of people not being happy that the loss just bounced off of him, but that’s how Cena works: he wants to be in WWE and do his thing no matter if he wins or loses.  He takes everything in stride and realizes that tomorrow is a new day and a new chance to win.  He’s very optimistic and he doesn’t dwell on hislosses.  That’s his character and I don’t get why people hate it so much.

 

Overall it’s a great promo and it makes me want to see their fight on Sunday even more.

Smackdown
Date: December 16, 2005
Location: MassMutual Center, Springfield, Massachusetts
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This is another request and again I don’t remember why. Smackdown in 2005 is an area I haven’t touched, just like 04, 06 or 07. These years are kind of forgotten in Smackdown and I’m not sure why. Batista is world champion at this point but is about to be taken out by a legit injury. I have no idea what to expect here so let’s get to it.

Boogeyman vs. Nunzio

It’s kind of nice to immediately open with a match even if it’s a squash. There’s smoke everywhere after Boogeyman’s entrance. Boogey dominates to start and eats some worms. A pumphandle powerslam squashes Nunzio quickly.

Vito, Nunzio’s muscle, is beaten down post match. The Smackdown locker room is sickened.

Bob Orton wants Randy to see a sports psychologist. This isn’t going to go well.

Post break Randy is with the shrink and says he’s afraid of Taker. Randy says that he’s scared of Undertaker because Taker is in his head and the Cell on Sunday scares him. The doctor basically says get over it. I’m sure there will be more of this later.

Batista is in the back getting ready for a tag title shot against MNM later when Melina comes in. She rubs his shoulders and basically offers him sex to step out of the title match. She kisses Batista and I think Batista agrees to the proposition.

We get an Armageddon news conference and basically JBL wants a match. He wound up getting Matt Hardy.

Kid Kash vs. Super Crazy

I think this is Kash’s debut. Scratch that as apparently he’s been on Velocity but this is his first Smackdown match. Last week Kash attacked the Mexicools so this is about revenge. The other Mexicools, Juventud Guerrera and Psychosis, are sent to the back. Things go fast to start of course with Crazy taking over with a monkey flip. Kash sends him through the ropes but Crazy comes back in with a spinwheel kick.

Kash gets in a shoulder to the ribs and stomps away for two. Crazy pounds away but Kash pulls Crazy by the hair into the knee like a backbreaker for two. They slug it out a bit more and Kash walks into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Crazy takes FOREVER to set up the moonsault and misses, letting Kash hit a brainbuster for the pin.

Rating: D+. I’m not a fan of Kid Kash and this was a borderline mess. They weren’t clicking at all out there. The Mexicools was such a dead end gimmick that never went anywhere at all and Kash was your run of the mill cruiserweight, which means he held the title for awhile and no one really remembers it.

Post match Kash tries the brainbuster on a chair but the Mexicools make the save.

Randy has come to a conclusion which he’ll announce later.

Melina is seen putting her bra and top back on while Batista tightens his trunks. Melina is glad Batista is dropping out of the match but Batista said he never made any deal. He got a good warmup from her so he’s going to kill MNM tonight. Good stuff here.

Smackdown Tag Titles: MNM vs. Batista/Rey Mysterio

MNM is defending and would be more famous as Mercury (Joey), Nitro (John Morrison) and Melina (Melina). Melina is all disturbed by sleeping with Batista so she hides from the paparazzi. Mercury and Rey start things off with Rey in control. The fans think someone involved in this match is a sl**. After the starters do little of note it’s off to Nitro vs. Big Dave with Nitro actually trying his kicks on Batista. Batista just kind of glares at him and tosses him around for fun.

Mercury comes in and is immediately almost powerbombed but Nitro makes the save. Batista shrugs off the superkick and clotheslines them both to the floor for a big dive from Mysterio as we take a break. Back with Rey getting two off a springboard splash before pounding on Nitro in the corner. Mercury finally realizes their only chance is to double team so he helps Nitro counter a rana into a slingshot powerbomb for two. That looked cool.

Off to Nitro who gets two off a clothesline and it’s off to a chinlock. When that gets boring, Nitro opts for right hands to the head. Why mess with the basics I guess. Mysterio tries to fight back but gets taken down with ease and double teamed. Even Melina gets in some offense by pulling him out to the floor. Mercury coems in and covers Rey about three times in a row with no success.

A spinning flapjack (cool move) gets two for Mercury and now he’s getting cocky. Back to Nitro for the breakdancing legdrop for two. Rey gets caught in a body vice but does the Eddie dance to escape. No literally, that’s what he does. The sitout bulldog puts Nitro down but Mercury makes a diving save to stop the tag. Mercury tries to speed things up but he has to avoid both guys, meaning he gets caught in an enziguri to put him down. Rey is put on the top but comes off with a headscissors to Nitro, allowing for the hot tag to Big Dave. A 619 takes out Melina and Nitro and the Batista Bomb to Mercury changes the titles.

Rating: C+. This was all to set up something for the PPV. The Mexicools had won a tag battle royal to get a shot at MNM at the PPV while Rey/Batista are scheduled to face Big Show/Kane, who are the Raw tag champions at the moment. This kind of messes that up but it gave us champions vs. champions instead, which was non title for no apparent reason. Still though, decent match here and a good way to kill 20 minutes.

We get a clip from Armageddon 2000 with Undertaker chokeslamming Rikishi off the Cell.

Bobby Lashley vs. Paul Burchill

Lashley is relatively new at this point. Regal is Burchill’s manager here and has to help him up when Lashley throws him to the floor. Back inside and Lashley fires off shoulders to the ribs in the corner. Dominator ends this quick.

Matt Hardy is talking about Booker T, who he faces later, and Booker’s series with Benoit when JBL pops up to insult him. JBL tells him to post the praise on his website. A fight breaks out and that’s your match for Sunday. Yep it was that fast.

Teddy Long talks to the psychiatrist but the doc can’t tell him anything. These segments aren’t leading anywhere meaningful are they?

Orton congratulates the new tag champions in the back. He wishes Batista could find out who the best man was but they’ll never know now for some reason.

The Undertaker threw Mankind off the Cell too.

Booker T vs. Matt Hardy

JBL is on commentary while on crutches due to an injury I don’t remember. Booker is currently up 3-0 in the series with Benoit so Sharmell brings out a broom. We join this after a break with Booker in control. Matt makes a quick comeback and knocks Booker to the floor, followed by a plancha over the top. Matt has to stop to yell at JBL, allowing Booker to ram Hardy’s head into the steps.

This is just after Edge sent Matt to Raw after stealing Lita away. That was supposed to be the big push Matt to the main event but it never quite got there. Anyway Booker hooks a chinlock as JBL lists off his accomplishments in the real world. Matt fights up and hits a Side Effect to put both guys down.

A bulldog gets two for Matt but the Twist of Fate is countered into a spinebuster for no cover. Scissors kick misses and there’s another Side Effect to put both guys down again. Matt hits a top rope legdrop for two and here’s Sharmell on the apron. The distraction lets JBL kill Matt with a Clothesline and Booker hits the scissors kick for the cheap pin.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here for the most part but I guess it set up the match on Sunday a bit better. When a former world champion and a guy who is supposed to be heading up to the top like Matt only get a match set up two days in advance, you can pretty much tell things aren’t going all that well for them at the moment.

Bob Orton makes sure Randy is sure about his decision.

Here’s Orton to close the show with his big announcement. Orton brags about everything he’s done which I’m sure most of you can recite by heart. He’s the legend killer, but no one can kill the legend of the Undertaker. This is Armageddon Randy, not Wrestlemania. He’s beatable. Taker won’t brutalize him in the Cell, because Orton is retiring here tonight. Yep, that’s the big reveleation.

Randy says he’s going to kill his own legend before Undertaker can, which draws out Teddy. If Orton doesn’t show up, Teddy will sue him for breach of contract. It could be worse: Teddy could dance for him. Orton says cool with him as it’s better than being in the Cell. He goes to leave but the lights go out and we’ve got druids. They back Orton into the ring and here’s Taker. One druid is standing alone and it’s Bob Orton. The distraction lets Randy kick Undertaker low and beat on him with a chair for a bit. Taker is busted open and Orton wipes the blood on his chest. An urn shot to Taker’s head ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show was acceptable I guess but at the same time it didn’t work to make me want to see the PPV. The entire show is about Orton vs. Taker and while the PPV wound up being very good, the build for it didn’t work at all as a lot of the matches are being thrown together here tonight. It’s a one match show and while the build for it was ok, the stuff tonight didn’t do anything for me.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Before we get to this, I want to apologize in advance for the last hour of this show.  My mind wasn’t focused on the show but I don’t think anyone was.

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 10, 2012
Location: Bell Center, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

There are two major things going on tonight. First of all, we’ll have the continuation and explanation of Heyman driving Punk away last week to end the show. The other is that Bret Hart is going to be in Montreal so you know the crowd is going to go nuts. This is the go home show for the PPV on Sunday so tonight is likely going to be a lot of pushing towards that show. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Bret to open the show. The fans give him a very long ovation and Bret talks about how dark that day in Montreal was. The fans got him through that time and he thanks them deeply. That’s about it and here’s Punk with less hair. Punk complains about Bret having a big ego and wants to know what would have happened if it had been him in Montreal instead of Shawn. Bret says Punk would have been in the Sharpshooter with his feet touching his head.

Punk says the WWE wouldn’t exist because he would have beaten Bret without Vince, then jumped to WCW and there wouldn’t have been an Attitude Era and the company would have died. Bret says that he’s the best there is, was and ever will be which gets on Punk’s nerves. Punk takes a jab at Lawler and in a bizarre moment, Bret defends Jerry. We get a clip of the end of last week’s show with Punk coming back and leaving with Heyman.

Punk asks Bret if Cena is here tonight and is going to save Bret if things get too heavy. Bret mentions the word respect and Punk goes off on him. Eventually Punk says he’ll put Cena to sleep on Sunday. Bret: “Just like you’re putting these people to sleep here tonight.” Punk says nothing else of note and we’re done. I’m not sure if I liked this or not. It was better than the Lawler stuff, but at the end of the day it’s the same thing he’s been saying over and over again.

Pick Brodus, Lawler or Orton to be Punk’s opponent tonight.

Antonio Cesaro/The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth

Cesaro’s five language word tonight is prestige. There’s going to be a battle royal on Sunday’s pre show to determine who gets the shot at Cesaro later in the night. Truth comes in pretty quickly and the tag champs clear the ring with Kofi hitting a bit flip dive to the floor as we take a break. Back with Cesaro holding Truth in a chinlock while Aksana lays on the apron and watches.

Off to Miz who hits the top rope ax handle for two. Such a shame to see a former legendary team like this fighting isn’t it? Truth comes back with a flying kick to take Miz down and there’s the hot tag to Kofi who cleans house. A top rope cross body gets two on Cesaro and Truth takes Miz out with the spinning forearm. Kofi gets rolled up for two but even a handful of tights only gets two for Cesaro. Kingston pops up and Trouble in Paradise gets the pin on Antonio at 8:10.

Rating: C. Just your run of the mill tag match here but it worked well enough. I’m ok with the champions losing here as it’s to set up the Night of Champions PPV, which means focusing on the champions by putting them in one match makes sense. Pretty decent match here and it’s nice to see the tag champions win a match.

We recap Sheamus and Del Rio’s stuff from Friday.

We go to a court deposition about the Otunga/Sheamus/Del Rio ordeal which involves Jewish and Mexican jokes from Sheamus. Otunga lists off some former victims of the Brogue Kick (including Daniel Bryan, making Sheamus answer every question YES in a funny bit) and we get some legal banter that belongs in a parody of A Few Good Men. Then Sheamus Brogue Kicks the camera and says let’s have a party, prompting him to belt out Hava Nagila. This was out there but it was certainly different.

Alicia Fox/Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. Eve Torres/Kaitlyn/Layla

Beth and Kaitlyn start us off and it’s quickly off to Nattie. Kaitlyn gets beaten down and it’s off to Alicia who hits a suplex for two. Off to Layla who cleans house before Eve tags herself in and hits the spinning neckbreaker for the pin on Alicia at 2:33.

AJ is looking a bit psycho when Punk comes up. He doesn’t like that Cena doesn’t have a match tonight and Punk doesn’t know who his own opponent is. He yells at AJ but she doesn’t back down. She leaves and Punk runs into Brodus who might face Punk tonight.

Orton wins the poll in a non shocking landslide.

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

Punk is in Hart colors which is a weird kind of respect I guess. The champ starts with his traditional headlock to shout spots into Orton’s ear but gets hiptossed down and we stall a bit. Punk stomps him down in the corner and hits a suplex for two. A chinlock stays on Orton for awhile but he fights up and almost gets the RKO. Punk bails to the floor and tries to walk out but Orton makes the save. Orton throws Punk in first so CM dropkicks Randy’s legs out, sending Orton face first into the apron as we take a break.

Back with Punk dropping an elbow for two on Orton. Punk goes up top but Orton channels his dad and superplexes him down. They slug it out from their knees and Orton takes over, but the Elevated DDT is countered by a kick to the head and the springboard clothesline for two. GTS and RKO are countered so Orton hits the backbreaker for two. Now the Elevated DDT hits but as Orton loads up the RKO, here’s Ziggler for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This was your usual main event style match which wasn’t bad but it’s also nothing great. I don’t think anyone expected this to be a classic or anything and the ending was pretty predictable, but that’s ok in this case. I’m not wild on the Raw Active stuff because it takes away the reason these guys are fighting, but social media rules the world anymore.

Post match Orton gets double teamed but Lawler makes the save. The four brawl as we head to a break, leading to…..

Randy Orton/Jerry Lawler vs. Dolph Ziggler/CM Punk

Back with Ziggler pounding on Orton in the corner and hitting a neckbreaker for two. Orton comes back with the slingshot suplex and brings in Lawler for a pair of middle rope fists for two. Ziggler dropkicks Jerry down as Punk looks bored out of his mind on the apron. It’s intentional boredom though so at least he’s doing his job properly. Ziggler drops some elbows on Lawler and hooks a chinlock as Punk still hasn’t been in yet. Lawler suplexes out of the hold and it’s hot tag Orton.

He cleans house but the Elevated DDT is countered and Orton is sent to the floor. Here’s Heyman for a chat with Punk but Vickie starts shouting at them. Punk ignores them and keeps talking to Heyman. Heyman hands Punk the title as Ziggler is pounding on Orton in the ring. For no apparent reason Cole has stopped talking.

A Fameasser is countered (we’re watching Punk and Heyman so the match is being seen in the background) but the RKO doesn’t hit. A rollup gets two for Ziggler but he walks into the RKO for the pin at 7:10 shown. Punk was never in the match and walks away with Heyman without caring at all.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad but it was more about an angle than a match which is fine in this case. Heyman was the talk of the internet this past week so him coming out here was what everyone was waiting on. This was definitely different which is what Raw has been needing for awhile now.

Punk and Heyman are walking in the back but we still can’t hear what they say. Matt Striker asks them what their relationship is and Punk says he’s a Paul Heyman guy.

We recap the hugging segment from last week in a package that aired on Smackdown.

Bryan and Kane meet in the back but they aren’t sure who sent both of them messages to meet here. Someone set the meeting up and Kane is mad to see him. It’s the doctor who wants to run a checkup. AJ asked the doctor here apparently because they have to trust each other before everything falls apart for them.

Heath Slater wants to face Ryder again after losing last week. Ryder pops up on screen and says he’s not facing Slater. Here’s the real opponent.

Heath Slater vs. Ryback

Slater gets in some offense but poses to the crowd too much. Clothesline, double powerbomb, Shell Shock for the pin at 2:07.

The Prime Time Players have whistles now and come in to see AJ. They aren’t the #1 contenders now because they have to beat Kane and Bryan tonight.

Daniel Bryan/Kane vs. Prime Time Players

Winners get Kofi/Truth on Sunday for the titles. Kane and Titus start things off with the bald guy jumping Kane. Off to Bryan who stays right with Titus to take over. Young comes in with a rollup for two and a double shoulder block from the Players puts Bryan down again. Yong puts on a cravate but Bryan escapes, only to get distracted by the fans. Titus comes in and walks into some kicks but he hits a backbreaker to slow Bryan down again.

There’s a chinlock which doesn’t last long and it’s back to Young. Something is going on at the announce table and the people are all looking at it. The word on the street is that something is very wrong with Lawler and it may be something along the lines of a legit seizure. That’s scary stuff man.

They trade uppercuts before Bryan gets caught in another chinlock. Bryan suplexes Young down but he won’t tag. Bryan misses a Swan Dive and it’s chinlock #3 in the match. Another suplex gets Bryan out of trouble but he still won’t tag. After kicking the tar out of Young, Bryan gets too close to the corner and Kane tags himself in. He cleans house and hits the top rope clothesline on Young but Titus breaks up the chokeslam. After disposing of Titus, Bryan tags himself back, only to get chokeslammed onto Young, sending the anger management buddies to Night of Champions at 8:30.

Rating: D+. The match was pretty dull but this was absolutely the right move. These two had gotten way too much momentum to not do anything on the PPV and it’s not like the Players can’t get put back in later. Not a good match, but it’s 100% the right move to make. Hopefully they win the titles and bring something fun to them again.

We recap the opening segment.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Tyson Kidd

Kidd comes out second which is surprising. Tyson almost immediately takes Del Rio down but can’t get the Sharpshooter. Del Rio hammers away but gets caught in a quick Sharpshooter. He gets the rope on the second try and almost immediately the armbreaker gets the tap out at 2:50.

Del Rio says he’ll win the title.

Cole says Lawler passed out at the announce table. They’re performing CPR and Cole is adamant that this isn’t part of the show. This is real based on everything I can find.

Sheamus vs. David Otunga

Cole isn’t saying anything still. Otunga jumps him to start and I don’t think we’re going to have commentary for awhile. Cole can be seen at the desk with his head on his hand watching the match but he isn’t saying anything. Otunga gets in an early shot but Sheamus pounds him down and the Cloverleaf gets the tap out at 1:28.

Sheamus hits the Brogue Kick post match. This brings out AJ who says….nothing because Booker interrupts her. Booker is conducting an internal investigation and if Sheamus uses the kick before it’s over, he’s stripped of the title.

This is very eerie right now as the show is basically operating like a house show because we’re not sure what’s happening with Lawler. This is legit scary.

Back from a break and Cole still isn’t saying anything. We get a clip from the tag match which I think is after Lawler collapsed. Yeah it’s the ending of the match with Kane chokeslamming Bryan.

The tag champs send out a Tout about keeping the belts on Sunday.

Kane and Bryan are with the doctor and are still arguing. The doctor says they passed a trial. Bryan didn’t appreciate the chokeslam but they won and that’s what matters. An argument breaks out out over whose name comes first in the team name. The doctor suggests Team Friendship, drawing a collective NO.

We get the rundown of the graphics for the matches on Sunday with no commentary.

Cole is back on screen and says Lawler passed out and was stretchered to the back. Lawler has been taken to a hospital in Montreal. He’s receiving oxygen but is breathing on his own. There won’t be any further commentary tonight. That might be the best idea. In advance, I want to apologize if the last part of the review is off. I’m not going to be able to focus that well and I apologize in advance. This is scary stuff and when you see it happen live, it’s hard to take in all at once.

Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes

The lack of commentary is eerie. Cody drops down twice early, getting hit once and hitting Rey once. Cody hits the release godrbuster but Cross Rhodes is broken up. They go back and forth for a bit with Rey hitting the sitout bulldog and taking out an interfering Miz before the 619 can hit. Miz’s distraction lets Cross Rhodes get the pin at about 5:00.

Rating: C. This was fine and when you consider how messed up these guys might be, that’s pretty impressive stuff. They have to get people’s minds off what they just saw and that’s not easy no matter what you do. The match was just a match for the most part and I guess they were trying to set up something for Sunday, which they had to do.

Post match Cody hits Cross Rhodes on Miz for no apparent reason. He holds up the title and I think that’s a challenge for Sunday which would be heel vs. heel.

Post break Cole tells us a bit more about what happened to Lawler earlier. Lawler was breathing on his own and now he’s more responsive than he was earlier. He’s reacting to lights being put in his eyes and is in the isolated ER, awaiting a CAT scan.

Here’s Hart for the closing segment. He brings out Cena and says that he sees a lot of himself and Shawn Michaels in Cena and Punk. Cena talks about how he’s nowhere near those two and he thanks Bret for the compliment. Punk isn’t like Shawn because Punk isn’t always himself. Hart wants to know what Cena is going to do to shut Punk up.

Cue the champ who is annoyed at the lack of respect. Cena calls Punk out and asks for a fight but Punk says Cena is the biggest phony in the company. Punk talks about how the two in the ring have been surpassed by people better than themselves, those people being Punk himself and Shawn Michaels. Punk says that comparison doesn’t work though because he’s better than Shawn. He’s better than Austin and Rock too. Punk says he’s the best at everything and his eyes are bugging out. Cena says Punk is right but that makes Punk a liar and a scumbag.

Cena talks about how Punk has spent a year watching PPVs go by and thinking that everyone is against him. Punk said everything on the mic and then became champion in Chicago, which made the fans believe change was coming. Then it became clear that Punk didn’t want ice cream bars or new talent or anything else. He wanted to be a star and that’s it. Cena mentions a line Punk said about becoming what he hated the most and that’s true. On the other hand there’s Punk who has no idea who he is.

Punk steals colors from Hall of Famers and stole the elbow from the late Randy Savage. CM has changed his identity over and over again over the years and right now it’s based around being champion. Cena stops to thank the fans for a bit and starts speaking French, drawing perhaps the loudest face pop he’s gotten in years. Punk yells at Cena for sucking up to the crowd and it’s time to get in each others’ faces. Cena says he’ll beat Punk up on Sunday so Punk pulls back to hit Bret, only to be stopped by Cena. Cena takes the shirt off and Punk goes for Bret again, only to get punched down and out to the floor to end the show.

Scratch that as Cole says Lawler is breathing on his own and his heart is beating on his own.  He’s stabilizing and Cole gives us a recap of everything tonight.  LAwler is awaiting a CAT Scan still.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a better show than last week but obviously that’s not what matters here, nor is the show on Sunday. Lawler is the important thing here and the updates coming in about him are at least somewhat positive. The last half hour of the show gets a total pass as you can’t blame the guys for their performance, nor is it important. The show built the PPV well enough, even though that’s not important right now.

Results

Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Antonio Cesaro/The Miz – Trouble in Paradise to Cesaro

Eve Torres/Kaitlyn/Layla b. Beth Phoenix/Natalya/Alicia Fox – Spinning neckbreaker to Fox

Randy Orton b. CM Punk via DQ when Dolph Ziggler interfered

Randy Orton/Jerry Lawler b. CM Punk/Dolph Ziggler – RKO to Ziggler

Ryback b. Heath Slater – Shell Shock

Daniel Bryan/Kane b. Prime Time Players – Bryan pinned O’Neal after a chokeslam from Kane

Alberto Del Rio b. Tyson Kidd – Cross Armbreaker

Sheamus b. David Otunga – Texas Cloverleaf

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

This is legit.  From what I can find he might have had a seizure and vomited.  It happened right at about ten PM EST and he was carried away during the Prime Time Players vs. Kane/Bryan.  I’ll let you know whenever I find out anything else.

 

Update #3: Meltzer says it was a heart attack.  Jerry isn’t out of the woods yet but he’s more stable.

 

 

Update #2: Cole said that Lawler’s heart was beating on his own and that he was breathing on his own.  His condition is stablizing apparently which is a good sign.  More to come later I’m sure.

 

Update: Lawler has been taken to a hospital and is breathing on his own.  He’s responding to lights in his eyes and is awake to an extent.  I’ll update this with anything else I hear.

Armageddon 2005
Date: December 18, 2005
Location: Dunkin Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

 

You know I was trying to think of some background to this show and it occurs to me that nothing really happened in 2005. There was One Night Stand and that’s about it. This is a Smackdown show with the main event being Taker vs. Orton inside the Cell. Other than that, there really isn’t much. Batista is world champion and a tag team champion with Rey but he’s in a non-title match. Weird. Let’s get to it.

 

The opening video is about Taker vs. Orton and how this is the beginning of the end for Orton.

 

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Matt Hardy

 

This is one of the issues with watching these older shows: I don’t remember this feud at all. Apparently JBL interrupted an interview and Matt made fun of him for leaving a lot of tag partners, allegedly out of fear. Jillian Hall is with JBL and looks awesome in a white pantsuit. This was during the I WILL NOT DIE phase for Matt for which JBL bashes him for. The man could talk when he got on a roll and he does here.

 

Matt comes in through the crowd and the fight is on. He hammers on JBL on the floor and rams him into the apron a few times, but gets his head caught in the ropes as he comes back in which chokes him badly. JBL, ever the nice guy, kicks him in the head while he’s caught in the hold. Big clothesline on the floor puts Matt down again.

 

Back in the ring he drops a bunch of elbows on Matt and by a bunch I mean like 8 of them but doesn’t cover. And people wonder why he lost the belt. Matt grabs a DDT (called a swinging neckbreaker by the idiot known as Michael Cole) for a quick two. When Tazz has to correct you, it’s saying a lot. A shoulder block by JBL gives him the advantage again and pounds away even more.

 

He sets for a belly to back superplex but Matt knocks him off and gets a moonsault press for two. Thankfully Matt hit it or we would have had an earthquake in Rhode Island. Bradshaw gets the buckle cover off and whips Matt into it. The big clothesline ends it a few seconds afterwards.

 

Rating: C. Nothing special here and I have no idea why JBL who was world champion for most of the previous year is opening a very low level PPV against a career midcarder but like I said, it was a weird year. Just a semi-squash here that was pretty pointless overall, especially since it was only put on the card two days prior to this.

 

We get a clip of Melina screwing Batista to try to convince him to not kill MNM on Friday. Naturally Batista got done screwing her and killed them anyway, winning the tag titles in the process. Dang Melina needs the blonde highlights back.

 

The Mexicools will cancel their match with MNM tonight if Melina will screw them. She declines.

 

Clip of a past HIAC match, in this case Foley going for a little ride. Then another ride. That first one is one of those things where it still blows my mind that he even lived.

 

MNM vs. Mexicools

 

MNM is John Morrison (Nitro here) and Joey Mercury. The Mexicools are Super Crazy and Psicosis. See, they’re Mexicans and they ride lawnmowers. That’s their gimmick. Mercury vs. Psicosis to start us off. Off to Nitro who doesn’t do any better so it’s off to Mercury again. Ok make that Nitro. Yeah it’s Nitro. Not that I can’t tell them apart mind you. They’re just tagging in and out that much.

 

Psicosis misses a charge but gets a punch to Mercury’s stomach off the top. Spinwheel kick sends Mercury to the floor and here come the dives. Crazy uses the referee as a launching pad to dive onto MNM in a nice spot. Psicosis loads up the guillotine legdrop but Melina crotches him to shift momentum. Psicosis gets a sunset flip but a blind tag breaks up anything he’s about to get going.

 

Clothesline gets two for Mercury. Psicosis gets a nice headlock takeover/headscissors to take both guys down. No tag though as Mercury brings Nitro back in. Nitro takes Crazy out which is a smart move because when Psicosis breaks free for a tag attempt there’s no one to tag. Nitro grabs a Cravate and Psicosis still can’t make a tag. Mercury almost jumps into a boot in the stupidest spot ever but he catches himself which is a sigh of relief from me.

 

Psicosis gets an enziguri and it’s hot tag to Crazy. He sends MNM into each other and fires off some dropkicks for everyone. Tornado DDT gets two on Mercury. Nitro and Psicosis go to the floor and Crazy hits the moonsault after kicking Melina to the floor. Nitro makes a last second save. Crazy gets up and walks into the Snapshot (3D position but Mercury holds him there and Nitro hits a DDT) for the pin.

 

Rating: B. I know that’s probably high but I really liked this. The Mexicools were flying all over the place at times but it was never to the point where it was just high spots and nothing of actual significance. MNM was good too and Melina in that tiny skirt of hers helped too. Really fun tag match and I’d like to see them get a long match (this was about 9 minutes).

 

JBL is giving an interview to WWE.com.

 

Booker is asked about his fourth match in the best of seven series for the US Title. He’s up 3-0 at the moment but Sharmell doesn’t want him to talk about it. Booker says he’ll win and then Sharmell insults the hotter Krystal.

 

We recap Booker vs. Benoit. Booker turned heel to cheat and win the title and Benoit got a rematch, only for there to be a double pin. This results in a Best of Seven series like they did in WCW but that might have been a best of five. I don’t think it was though. Booker won the first three but only one clean.

 

US Title: Booker T vs. Chris Benoit

 

If Booker wins he’s champion but if Benoit wins the series continues. Technically this is a title match I guess. Sharmell has a broom with her for the sweep thing. Long feeling out process to start. Heel kick misses for Booker and here comes Benoit, sending Booker to the floor with a chop. They go to the mat and just guess who wins there. Crowd is totally behind Benoit.

 

Booker gets a hammerlock to take Benoit down but gets reversed into a Crossface attempt. Booker makes the rope though and clears his head on the floor. Back in a Sharpshooter doesn’t work so Benoit just works on the leg like only he can. Benoit knows what he’s doing to keep the crowd into it as he changes up the holds he’s using. That’s so helpful because it keeps things from getting dull.

 

Booker rakes the eyes to escape and hammers away in the corner. Benoit fires off some chops and snaps off a German for two. A knee sends Benoit to the floor and they chop it out until Benoit gets rammed into the post. Off to an abdominal stretch in the ring by Booker. Benoit escapes and a double clothesline gives both guys a rest. The Canadian hits a German on the American for two.

 

Benoit unleashes some awesome suplexes and we get Three Amigos, a month after Eddie passed away. That gets a nice reaction from the crowd as well as a two count. Time for Rolling Germans and he goes up for the Swan Dive but Sharmell’s interference stops it. They botch a move out of the corner but to be fair it was next to impossible. Booker was setting for a superplex but Benoit tried to jump over into a German suplex off the ropes. He slipped off but again, not exactly an easy spot.

 

Booker gets a missile dropkick for a long two and everyone is shocked. Crowd is into this one. Benoit chops away but walks into a superkick. Sharmell gets a low blow and the axe kick hits, but only for two. ERUPTION for that kickout. Bookend is countered into the Crossface in the middle of the ring but somehow Booker crawls to the rope. More rolling Germans and Booker is just done. Swan Dive hits but SOMEHOW Booker gets out. This is great stuff.

 

Booker tries a left hand for some reason but gets caught in a Crossface attempt. They hit the mat and the referee goes down. Benoit gets the Sharpshooter and Booker taps but there’s no referee. Sharmell hits him with the broom and Benoit doesn’t even blink. Booker gets up to try another Bookend but Benoit gets a DDT to counter and Booker taps to make it 3-1 in a great match.

 

Rating: A-. Just a great match here as Booker went all out to try to beat Benoit but the back against the wall aspect was enough for Benoit to survive. Booker was DONE at the end and looked like he fell out of a building. The only thing really holding this back was that it didn’t end the series. Booker would win the series but Orton would be a sub for him for the next two matches and would ultimately win the title for him in match 7.

 

MNM is on WWE.com.

 

Another Cell moment is Rikishi being thrown off.

 

Here’s Teddy with network executive Palmer Cannon. Teddy thanks the fans for helping Smackdown win at Survivor Series. That’s all he has to say but Cannon, the epitome of useless, brings out Santa Claus with his elf. And it’s Vito and Nunzio. Well at least Nunzio, who is handing out coal. Yep it’s Vito.

 

He runs down the crowd and says they’re tired of giving. Instead, they think they should get title shots for Christmas. And cue Boogeyman. After the slowest walk this side of Taker, he gets in the ring and “sings” a Christmas song about beating them up, which he then does. Why couldn’t we get more Booker vs. Benoit instead of this? He leaves Vito and a bunch of worms in the ring, which of course we have to keep zooming in on.

 

We get a clip from No Mercy where Orton channeled his inner 7ft bald dude and put Taker in a casket which he then lit on fire. Orton then got “haunted” by Taker. It’s as goofy as it sounds too. Of course we saw all of the images in Orton’s head because that’s how WWE rolls. This turns into a full recap video for Taker vs. Orton, which would be due to clear the ring I guess. Basically Orton realized he did too much so he tried to get out of the match by retiring but Randy’s dad got involved and that was enough for Randy I guess to keep going.

 

The Ortons say they’re not worried because Randy is the master of mind games.

 

William Regal/Paul Burchill vs. Bobby Lashley

 

They have to tag. No real story here other than Lashley needs villagers to eat. He’s beaten both of them in one on one matches so this is the next challenge. Burchill starts and that doesn’t go well at all. Bobby pulls Regal in also and beats them both up with ease. Regal gets a kick in and cheats a bit on the floor. Just a bit though so don’t judge him. The British dudes use their technical stuff as we’re just waiting on Lashley to take over. Top rope knee gets two for Burchill. Lashley wakes up and mauls them both, ending Burchill with a Dominator.

 

Rating: D+. Just a squash here that was there to give Lashley a chance to look awesome. Granted Burchill and Regal didn’t mean anything at this point but the beating looked good. Lashley wouldn’t ever become the superstar they were hoping for but nice try at least I guess. No idea why this was on PPV though. Easily could have gone on Smackdown.

 

We throw it to Josh Matthews at the FRIENDLY TAP! Oh no. Oh not this. The owner is former referee Tim White and he’s not happy. He keeps drinking and drinking until Josh talks about the last match White refereed which was inside the Cell with HHH vs. Jericho. We get a clip of said match where White got hurt, ending his refereeing career.

 

White is still drinking and won’t say anything. He finally says that the Cell ruined his life and everyone left him. He took his pain out on everyone he cared about. He mentions his medical problems and starts crying. Then he pulls out a rifle and staggers off camera where a gunshot is heard. This is exactly what it sounds like.

 

In January it was announced that he had somehow missed and shot himself in the foot. Less than three months after Eddie died, WWE had a series of videos up on WWE.com called Lunchtime Suicides. Every week, White would try to kill himself in a different way. He failed each time, ultimately shooting Josh Matthews, who was something of a host for these videos. I kid you not: this actually happened.

 

Cruiserweight Title: Juventud vs. Kid Kash

 

Just Juventud now and he’s champion coming in here. Yes, they’re really just going on like nothing happened at all. Another pointless Cruiserweight match here with no real story. By no real one I mean Kash probably pinned him recently or something like that. All Juvy to start and he gets a standing rana for two. Fujiwara armbar goes on for a bit so Kash hits the floor. Juvy hits a plancha to keep up his advantage.

 

Kash manages to ram his shoulder into the post a few times to take over. Hammerlock slam gets two. Kash hammers away for a bit but misses a charge into the corner. Juvy can’t capitalize though and Kash keeps the advantage. Shoulderbreaker gets two. A springboard moonsault by Kash eats knees and here comes Juvy.

 

The champ chops away and uses really basic offense. Sunset flip doesn’t work for Kash and Juvy kicks him in the face for two. Loud END THIS MATCH chant starts up. You can tell that’s not a good sign. They go up to the top rope and Juvy hits a super rana but might have hurt his knee. Kash wants time out but gets caught by an enziguri for two. They trade some escapes and Juvy hits the Juvy Driver for two. 450 misses though and the Dead Level (brainbuster) gives Kash the title.

 

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t exactly bad, but dude no one cared at all. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a crowd beg for a match to end like that. This is what you get when you have no story to speak of and use guys that are just there instead of having characters or stories or anything like that. Just not interesting at all, but it was fine from a technical standpoint.

 

Lashley is on the website now.

 

Ad for the Rumble, which was the really weird Roman theme. No idea why they went with that but then again Mania never made a lot of sense with its ad campaigns.

 

We recap Kane/Big Show vs. Mysterio/Batista. They’re each show’s respective tag champions and this is supposed to be some big epic clash. A lot of this stemmed from Survivor Series and the fallout from the whole brand split war. Batista is world heavyweight champion and more or less unstoppable. He and Mysterio won the titles two days before this. Naturally it’s a non title match.

 

Batista/Rey Mysterio vs. Big Show/Kane

 

Rey has 619 cut into his beard. Batista vs. Show to start us off. Show throws him around a bit so Big Dave fires off right hands. Something resembling a shoulder block takes Show down but he gets up and hits what could be called a superkick that was pretty awesome all things considered. Off to Kane who Batista can work with a bit better. Sidewalk slam puts the Animal down and Kane goes up. He channels his inner Flair though and gets slammed down.

 

Off to Rey who stomps away and this a standing moonsault for one. Kane no sells some kicks so Rey tries to hit and run. A middle rope axehandle staggers Kane and Rey gets a springboard dropkick to send him to the floor. Batista takes his head off with a clothesline and Rey loads up the 619, only for Show to make the save. He rams Rey’s back (somewhat injured coming in) into the post.

 

Back in the ring and Show chops away at Rey. That sound makes me cringe. Kane comes in and Rey is able to get some shots in to set up the sitout bulldog. Show knocks Batista off the apron though to break up the tag. Batista pops back in and everything breaks down. Big Dave takes down the monsters and hits a spinebuster on Kane. Show and Batista fight to the floor and Rey hits the 619, only for Kane to catch the West Coast Pop and chokeslam Rey into dust to end it.

 

Rating: C. That’s it? This could have been the main event of any given Raw or Smackdown and there was nothing interesting going on for the most part. It’s not bad or anything, but there’s no appeal hear at all. The lack of anything being on the line really hurts this because in short, this changes nothing. MNM would get the titles back by the end of the year, making this whole title reign pretty pointless.

 

Video on Tribute to the Troops or whatever they’re calling it this year, which is the next night.

 

Another Cell moment is Shawn’s destruction by Taker. Still the best one ever.

 

The Cell is lowered.

 

The Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

 

This is the final blowoff from the Mania match. Taker of course won there, Orton won at Summerslam and this is the rubber match. Orton has his papa and Taker’s urn with him. Orton tries to run to start and Taker tries to close in on him. Taker gets a shoulder block and Orton heads to the floor. We get a headlock inside the Cell. Orton gets a hip toss and dropkick but can’t keep Taker down.

 

Taker hammers away and we go to the floor. He tries to harpoon Orton into the Cell but Orton escapes and takes over back inside the ring. Taker is like boy no you didn’t and grabs him by the throat, throwing him into the corner. Taker hammers away as they have a ton of time so the slow start is fine. Orton’s ribs go into the post and Taker keeps up the attack on the floor, mainly working on the ribs and chest.

 

The Deadman finds a chair and cracks Orton over the head with it. Orton is busted so Taker keeps pounding him with the chair. Taker rakes his face across the cage as Cole makes the cheese grater comparison. Orton finds a chain somewhere but gets his head rammed into the steps before he can use it. It’s so weird to see Cole as a face. Taker gets the chain and chokes away at Orton who is back in the ring now.

 

This time Taker is able to get the harpoon thing, sending Orton’s face into the cage. He gets the steps but Orton fights back out of desperation. There’s blood on one of the posts. Orton tries to get the steps but Taker kicks them back into his face. Back into the ring and there’s a chair in there. Orton grabs an “RKO” across the top rope but it’s more like just clotheslining him onto it. Close enough though.

 

It sent Taker to the floor into the cage though and Orton finally takes over. This time the steps show works. Now Orton gets to rake Taker’s face into the cage in a nice bit of evilness from earlier. Taker is busted open now and Orton chokes away with the chain. Big chair shot puts Taker down for two. Taker gets up again though and hammers away on the floor, firing off headbutts.

 

I love that look Taker gets on his face when he’s losing blood and he’s staggering around. Taker gets a running charge and climbs up the steps, hitting more or less a flying hip attack into Orton against the cage. Back in the ring now and Taker walks the ropes, only to miss an elbow. He must be fired up tonight to bust out moves like that. Orton grabs a table and sends Taker to the floor via a boot. Bob grabs Taker’s hair through the cage to hold him in place next to the wall.

 

Taker is like oh no you didn’t and rams Bob into the cage via a small hole in it. Taker drills Randy as Bob is bleeding (BIG issue here as Bob has Hepatitis, which is a disease transmitted by blood). Orton gets something resembling a powerslam to ram Taker into the Cell. Apparently you can pin people on the floor now as Randy gets two. Back in the ring and Taker gets his jumping clothesline for two. Old School hits this time, followed by a Downward Spiral.

 

Taker is getting all ticked off now and hits the Snake Eyes/Big Boot combo. Leg drop gets two. Chokeslam gets two due to a foot on the ropes. Taker gets a running knee in the corner but misses a running boot. Orton hits a low blow with the chain. He sets up the table brought in earlier and hits a splash mostly through it. That gets two as the table is thrown to the floor.

 

Orton, ever the genius, goes up for ten punches in the corner. DOES NO ONE WATCH TAPE OF TAKER MATCHES??? He deserves the Last Ride but gets out of it and Taker punches the referee by mistake. RKO out of nowhere but there’s no referee. Another referee opens the door to count and Bob comes in to get on our nerves. There’s the Last Ride to Randy but Bob makes the save.

 

Taker beats up Bob and rams him into the cage. Taker loads up the Tombstone on Randy which is reversed into one by Orton. Seriously, the guy never learns. That gets two and Taker sits up and is MAD. Orton keeps knocking him down and Taker keeps sitting up. After a bunch of punches Taker can’t sit up. He’s playing possum though and grabs Randy by the throat. Bob comes in again with the urn but Taker gets it, clocks both Ortons with it and a pair of Tombstones ends this.

 

Rating: A-. Now this is what the Cell is supposed to be. They beat the tar out of each other and this felt like a war. Taker going all insane and beating everyone down at the end as Orton just couldn’t stop him was perfect and showed that Taker is just better, which is the point of the final match of a feud. Well done and you NEVER get a decisive ending to a feud like this anymore, or at most maybe once a year.

 

Taker climbs the Cell to end the show.

 

Overall Rating: B+. Where in the world did this come from? With two great matches in the main event and Benoit vs. Booker plus a nice surprise in the tag match earlier in the show and the worst match being a three and a half minute squash, how can you really complain? I liked this and it worked rather well. Good show and worth checking out actually.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: September 7, 2012
Location: I Wireless Center, Moline, Illinois
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Michael Cole

The main story tonight is the potential legal action that Del Rio and Otunga are going to be taking against Sheamus. For those of you keeping score, this would be the second time in roughly a month that legal action has been part of this feud. When they can’t even keep fresh ideas going in a single feud, it may be a sign that there’s a problem. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video from Raw of Sheamus’ Brogue Kick to Ricardo and the announcement of Otunga taking legal action for it.

Otunga, Ricardo and Del Rio leave Booker’s office.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is Alberto Del Rio who is the anchor Smackdown is trying to run with.

Here’s Del Rio and company in the arena to start things off. Del Rio talks about being on the roll of his career after beating Orton and Kane in back to back weeks. I would have thought beating Punk and Cena at the same time in the Cell for the world title would be better than that but what do I know? Del Rio says he’ll win the title at Night of Champions but that’s not enough. He wants the Brogue Kick banned because kicking someone in the head is a criminal act.

Ricardo isn’t just his servant. He’s Del Rio’s friend. The Brogue Kick has hurt dozens of people, but the cross armbreaker is elegant and pure. Otunga says he’s the only Harvard educated attorney in the history of WWE. He’s been hired because what happened to Ricardo was predetermined and intentional. We get a highlight reel of the Brogue Kick and all the people it’s beaten. I wonder if they’re actually going to get rid of it. I mean, they got rid of the Punt.

Otunga talks about meeting with Booker T, which brings out the GM himself. Booker says that was supposed to be confidential but Otunga brought it out to the people. Booker asks the people if the Brogue Kick should be banned and after a lot of booing, the kick is declared to be legal.

We get a throwaway line from Josh, saying that Kane has been fined an undisclosed amount for attacking him recently.

Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara vs. The Miz/Cody Rhodes

Miz and Mysterio start things off. The champion pounds Mysterio down but Rey comes back with some kicks to the leg and a tag is made to Cara. A double kick from the masked men gets two on Miz as we take a break. These breaks a minute into the match need to stop. Back with Cara armdragging Cody across the ring and the tag being made to Mysterio. Miz pulls Cody away from the 619 and distracts Rey in the back to let Cody get control.

Rey drop toeholds Cody into the buckle and makes the tag to Cara. Sin (I guess I can call him that) speeds things way up but Coach Miz tells Cody to duck, allowing Miz to get the tag and a shot to the back of Cara to take over. The corner clothesline sets up the double ax off the top for two for Miz. Cody comes in with a delayed release gordbuster for two. The announcers are talking about Cody’s obsession with the masks which is all I’ve been wanting from this feud. They’ve touched on it a bit but hearing them flat out say it is nice.

Cody hooks a cravate but Cara gets into a bulldog position but backflips over to slam Cody’s head into the mat. Nice counter. Hot tag brings in Rey to face Miz and speed things up again. Miz counters a headscissors and rolls through a sunset flip, followed by a kick to the face of Rey for two. That was a slick sequence. Mysterio and Miz trade control on a rollup, resulting in Cody kicking Miz in the head by mistake. Cody is sent to the floor and hit by a big dive from Cara. The 619 and a top rope splash pin Miz at 7:38 shown of 11:08.

Rating: B-. The last minute or two of this was some very nice stuff with Miz looking awesome out there. He was hanging move for move with Mysterio which isn’t something you would expect him to be able to do. The ending was somewhat creative too with the rollup reversals leading to heel miscommunication. I was digging this one and I would be fine with the masked guys going after the tag titles. It would give Cara some success and Rey something to do.

Horny wants to hug it out with Bryan but settles for a handshake instead. Horny kicks Bryan in the shin and runs off. Bryan has to breathe and calm down.

Otunga threatens Booker with legal action if he doesn’t rethink his decision. Booker looks at some pictures and says he’ll think about it. Otunga isn’t pleased and asks Booker to meet him in the training room.

We get a recap of the hugging from Raw. In other words, we’re standing around reminiscing about the times we stood around. Miz giving commentary about the rules is kind of funny. In the video when the hug happens, a song that sounds like it belongs on The Wiggles comes on and bright colors come on the screen. Ok, that’s kind of awesome.

Daniel Bryan vs. Zach Ryder

Bryan fighting his inner demons on the way to the ring is awesome stuff. Ryder grabs a quick rollup for two and Bryan fires off some NO Kicks to come back. More kicks to the chest have Ryder in a lot of trouble. Ryder hits a face jam and gets up the knees in the corner. Broski Boot hits but Bryan begs off before the Rough Ryder. Bryan begs for understanding and asks for a hug, but he suckers Ryder into the NO Lock for the tap at 2:58. That was good stuff.

Bryan won’t let go of the hold and the referee reverses the decision.

There’s a match about to start but here’s Sandow instead. He sees his loss via countout last week as justice. He wasn’t prepared for that match and doesn’t like what social media had to say about it. Sandow says he was being intelligent last week, not being a coward. The people that TOUT IT OUT are cowards. No one would call him a coward to his face. Instead of tweeting, why not read a book? “When Albert Einstein discovered the theory of relativity, I assure all of you he did not TOUT about it!” I love this man. Anyway, Orton interrupts him and it’s time for Sandow to rub elbows with another big name.

Randy Orton vs. Damien Sandow

Orton looks different for some reason. The bell rings and here are Dolph and Vickie. The bell rings again for no apparent reason and Orton takes him to the mat with a headlock. They fight for control in a collar and elbow tieup but Sandow punches Orton in the face to escape. Orton shrugs it off and Damien bails to the floor. Back in and Sandow avoids the backbreaker and heads to the floor again, only to get clotheslined down by a following Orton.

Ziggler gets up on the table and distracts Randy, allowing Sandow to ram Randy into the apron and take over. Back in and Sandow works on the arm as we take a break. Sandow putting on a chinlock. A Russian legsweep sets up the spinning elbow from Sandow for two. Orton avoids a charge and starts his comeback with the usual clotheslines and powerslam. Elevated DDT puts Sandow down but as Orton loads up the RKO, Sandow heads to the floor and sprints up the ramp for the countout win for Orton at 6:53 shown of 10:23.

Rating: C. This was another good thing for Sandow as now he’s rubbing elbows with the main event guys. He doesn’t need to win at all for a good while and when he drops back down to the midcard he’ll have some experience to make him a guy higher up in that part of the card. The match here was fine and the ending was the right call.

Orton cuts Ziggler off as Dolph is leaving and they have a staredown. Orton punches him down and throws him into the ring, only for Dolph to get the advantage back. Randy powerslams him down but as he loads up the RKO, Sandow runs back in and takes the RKO. Ziggler bails and Orton stands tall.

Otunga shows Booker some x-rays of necks to prove how damaging the Brogue Kick is. If Booker doesn’t do what Otunga says, WWE is getting sued. Booker says he’ll think about it and makes Otunga vs. Sheamus. This would be a lot more compelling stuff if it didn’t build up Del Rio vs. Sheamus.

Prime Time Players vs. Primo/Epico vs. Usos

Winners get the title shot at Night of Champions. The only team to get an intro here is the Kofi/Truth who are on commentary. This is WCW rules with three people in the ring at once. Epico and Primo stomp on I think Jey in the corner while Young is down in the other corner. This is moving around too fast to keep up with. Titus gets the tag and cleans house before trying a release suplex to his partner onto Jey, but Jey gets his knees up.

Epico dropkicks Jey to the floor but walks into a northern lights suplex from Darren for two. Epico comes out of the corner with a tornado DDT to Young but walks into a double clothesline with Jey. Jimmy gets the hot tag and cleans house as everything breaks down. A Samoan Drop puts Young down and Jimmy dives on Titus and Primo. Jey hits the top rope splash on Epico but Young steals the pin and the title shot at 4:20.

Rating: C-. This was a mess all over the place but it certainly wasn’t boring. All signs would point to Titus and Young winning the titles now, as they’ve been beaten by the champions twice I believe, so the logical conclusion would be to have them win the third match and forget the first two. The match was too short to become a disaster and it was fast enough to be fun, but it was like the old WCW Cruiserweight matches: mostly flash and no substance, but that’s ok.

Raw ReBound is about Punk vs. Cena of course.

Eve TOUTS IT OUT about the safety issues going on. This would annoy me more if she wasn’t gorgeous.

Teddy talks to Kaitlyn about the potential lawsuit when Ziggler and Vickie show up. They go to see Booker but Teddy says Booker is busy. Ziggler wants to face Orton again because the win on Monday wasn’t a fluke. He wants the fight at Night of Champions and after some banter, Teddy says he’ll advise Booker to make the match. It’s so refreshing to see a heel step up and challenge someone.

Wade Barrett vs. Yoshi Tatsu

I think Barrett has new music but I’m not sure. For the first time that I can ever remember, Barrett starts in a boxing stance and throws some punches. Tatsu gets stuck between the ropes and Barrett kicks him in the face to take him down. Barrett fires off more punches and a kick to the ribs followed by a big elbow to the head for the pin at 1:48.

Barrett says he has no interest in meaningless matches like this. If he’s not instantly in the title picture, he’s going to do something to make his life easier on him. He declares Wade Barrett open for business. That sounds interesting. Barrett has a different style here and I’m not sure if I like it yet or not.

Sheamus vs. David Otunga

Sheamus pounds him down to start but the Brogue Kick misses and Sheamus gets caught in the ropes. Otunga guillotines him on the top rope to take over and it’s off to a chinlock. Sheamus escapes and hits some running ax handle smashes to take over. There are the ten forearms in the ropes from the champ and Otunga is in trouble. Sheamus hits White Noise and loads up the Brogue Kick, but Booker comes out and says the Brogue Kick is banned. Instead Sheamus hits a modified Irish Curse and the Texas Cloverleaf gets the submission at 4:59.

Rating: D+. The squash was just a backdrop so we could have the announcement of the kick being banned made to end the show. Otunga is good as a backstage character but in the ring the guy has never really accomplished anything of note and it’s clear that he belongs in a suit and not trunks. Total squash here.

Sheamus stares at Del Rio to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was fine from a technical standpoint as everything made sense and a lot of stories were advanced. The problem is that the main story got a lot more time than everything else and the main story is very dull. The legal stuff and having the Kick banned is an attempt to make this feud seem interesting, but the problem with taking Sheamus’ finisher away is he had just debuted a new finisher on Monday before all of this happened. The rest of the show was mostly entertaining, but again it feels like a supplement to Raw instead of its own show.

Results

Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara b. Cody Rhodes/The Miz – Top rope splash to Miz

Zach Ryder b. Daniel Bryan via DQ when Bryan wouldn’t release the NO Lock

Randy Orton b. Damien Sandow via countout

Prime Time Players b. Epico/Primo and Usos – Young pinned Epico after a top rope splash from Jimmy Uso

Wade Barrett b. Yoshi Tatsu – Elbow to the head

Sheamus b. David Otunga – Texas Cloverleaf

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

This is something I’ve thought of before but this was written by Lance Storm, who you should certainly read on a regular basis.  As you can likely tell, this was written late last year. What do the Intercontinental and United States Titles even mean? Punk is the best wrestler in the WWE, Bryan the best wrestler in the World, so is Rhodes the best wrestler in North and South America, and Ryder the best wrestler in the USA. There seems to be a lot of contradiction and over lap with that explanation.

 

ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: October 3, 2006
Location: Landon Arena, Topeka, Kansas
Commentators: Joey Styles, Taz

We’re into a new month here as this show is starting to fly by. After last week we’re really right back where we were coming into last week with Show being completely dominant and no opponent for him at the moment. We also have Van Dam standing tall due to his victory over Holly. It’s hard to say what else we’re going to get from here on out. Let’s get to it.

We open with Holly and Heyman in the back, watching a clip from last week of Holly being sliced open like a cabbage. Heyman praises him for finishing the match after being out for a year due to a staph infection. Holly says that’s what he does and he wants Van Dam again tonight. Heyman almost panicking over the thought of a lawsuit is kind of funny stuff and he obviously says no. Holly grabs Heyman but Test pops in and hits Hardcore in the back with a chair. It’s Test vs. Van Dam tonight in an extreme rules match.

Opening sequence.

Sandman/Sabu vs. Big Show/Matt Striker

So I guess Sabu and Big Show are still feuding somehow. Sabu and Show start with the giant being clean shaven now. That’s kind of a good look for him. Show clotheslines Sabu down and tosses him around with ease. Off to Striker and Sabu gets on offense quickly, hitting a springboard leg lariat and some dropkicks to take over. Sabu is knocked to the floor as we take a break. Back with Show coming in to headbutt Sabu down followed by a suplex which gets two for the tagged in Striker.

Striker kicks Sabu low to knock him to the floor again. Striker hooks a cravate and Sabu is in trouble again. Matt goes up but jumps into a spin kick in a bad looking spot. Sandman finally gets the hot tag and the beating begins. Striker tries to go up but Sandman blasts him with a left hand and the Heinekenrana gets two. The White Russian leg sweep is broken up by Show, who splashes Sandman to give Striker the pin.

Rating: D+. The problem here is that this is just a tag match. Sabu can hang in a match for the most part but Sandman is dull when he can’t use his weapons. This was just your standard tag match which bordered on a squash. Show is being put over stronger than almost anyone I’ve ever seen which is good for him but bad for everyone else.

Kelly Kelly and Trinity plug Extreme Strip Poker. Kelly takes her top off and has cards covering her.

Kevin Thorn vs. Tommy Dreamer

Dreamer pounds away to start but gets slammed out of the corner by Thorn. Thorn beats on Tommy but a pumphandle slam is countered into a neckbreaker as Dreamer starts his comeback. The DDT is countered but the second attempt at it gets two due to Thorn being in the ropes. A shot from the cane to Dreamer’s head ends this quick.

Watch the Marine!

Maria will play poker next week and people have been giving her “good” advice on how to play.

CM Punk vs. Danny Doring

Doring tries an early suplex but gets kicked in the ribs. A butterfly backbreaker puts Doring down and Punk fires away with knees in the corner. The knee/bulldog combo sets up a striking sequence followed by the Rock Bottom and Anaconda Vice for the tap. This was barely over a minute.

Kelly pops up on stage and dances for Punk. Knox takes her away and Punk says he’s sick of this. He says Knox’s problem isn’t keeping him away from Kelly, but from keeping Kelly away from him. Knox comes to the ring but backs off. The fans were into this.

Kristal Marshall and Ashley will be playing too.

Test vs. Rob Van Dam

Extreme Rules. Test kicks him in the ribs during the finger pointing which is something you would think a lot more people would do. Van Dam is sent to the floor and Test chokes him on the barricade. Van Dam gets in a kick (were you expecting something else?) but misses the spinning leg to the back of Test, crashing into the barricade instead. Test gets the steps but gets tripped, sending the steps crashing down on top of him. In a cool spot, Van Dam hits Rolling Thunder onto Test onto the steps.

It’s table time and the fans erupt as a result. As always, that takes too much time and Test takes his head off with a clothesline in the ring. Test throws four chairs into the ring and a big boot into one of them into the head of Van Dam gets two. A suplex onto the chair is countered by Van Dam and he pelts the chair at Test’s head ala Sabu. Test goes to the apron but Van Dam can’t knock him through the table. Test tries to suplex him through the table in a repeat of the spot from last week with Holly, but Van Dam countered into a sunset powerbomb through the table in a great spot.

We take a break and come back with the arrival of Heyman and security. Back inside and Test low blows Van Dam but Rob manages to clothesline him on the top rope. The recoil sends Van Dam to the floor and the security guards pound on Rob for a bit. That gets two for Test back inside and the Canadian is getting frustrated. Somewhere in there a chair was wedged between the top and middle rope and Rob is launched head first into said chair. Somehow that only gets two and Test is stunned.

Off to a bearhug as Van Dam is in even more trouble. Van Dam escapes but a BIG chair shot to the head gets two. Test removes the buckle from a corner but RVD blocks the shot into it and this a spinwheel kick to put both guys down. Rob goes to the floor for another chair because the four in the ring weren’t enough I guess. After threatening the guards with the chair, he skateboards it into Test’s face in the corner. He loads up Rolling Thunder onto the chair but Test moves, sending Rob’s back into chair only.

With the chair on Van Dam’s face, Test goes up and drops a Cactus Jack elbow (as in he had a chair of his own and slammed it into the other chair) off the top…..for two. Test loads up another table but his powerbomb through it is countered into a sunset flip for two. Snake Eyes onto the exposed buckle is countered and Van Dam hits the top rope kick. After dispatching the guards, Van Dam loads up the Five Star through the table but Big Show comes out and shoves him through the table. A TKO from Test finally gets the pin.

Rating: B. Van Dam is on a roll right now and I’m digging this war with Heyman and his team of lackeys as he’s building up to the big rematch with Show. Test looked good here and after the match last week with Holly, I think it’s fair to call Van Dam an official miracle worker. Another strong match here which would probably be the best match of the week in WWE.

Overall Rating: B. With Van Dam being on fire like he is now, ECW is on a total roll. There are finally clear stories going on up and down the card with Van Dam vs. Heyman being a highlight. The main issue I see with it though is next week. The show ended with Joey guaranteeing someone losing their clothes next week. That flat out is not going to happen, or at least we won’t be able to see it. Also it’s annoying when that’s the focus of the show instead of the good action we’ve been getting. Either way, good show here as ECW has finally gotten it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: September 26, 2006
Location: Tulsa Convention Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Joey Styles, Taz

We’re in Oklahoma so I’ll bet JR gets messed with somehow tonight. Other than that we’ve got a world title match with the most decorated former world champion in ECW history, the Sandman, challenging Big Show. Other than that we get the blowoff match with RVD and Hardcore Holly which has a semi-famous spot in it. Let’s get to it.

After the theme song, Joey and Taz basically say what I said in the intro.

Here’s JR to open the show. This can’t end well. He thanks Joey and Taz for inviting him, starting a brief argument over who invited him between the announcers. JR mentions getting started in Mid-South in this area a long time ago. He starts talking about how much he likes ECW when Matt Striker interrupts him.

Striker says JR is a blue collar worker and has the shirt to prove it. He gets in JR’s face about liking alcohol, just like Sandman. Striker keeps going on until Sandman comes in with the cane. Sandman gets in a shot to the ribs and hands the cane off to JR. Ross gets in a pretty good shot to the back and Striker bails in shame. JR toasts Sandman, the new ECW Champion, and beer is consumed.

Video on Eric Bischoff’s book, set to look like an old NWO promo. Basically he says he’ll tell the real story. I’ll give him this: I want to read the book now.

Extreme Strip Poker is coming. Oh geez.

Hardcore Holly says he’ll do his talking in the ring. Riveting stuff here.

Rob Van Dam vs. Hardcore Holly

Extreme Rules. Van Dam takes over to start and sends Holly into the corner. A superkick puts Holly down but it’s time to pose before Van Dam follows up. Out to the floor they go but Van Dam’s posing gets him in trouble again. Holly gets draped over the barricade and there’s the spin kick to the back. Van Dam loads up a table to the crowd’s delight but Holly blasts him in the back and sends him into the steps to take over.

Van Dam fires off more kicks and they head back inside, only to charge into Holly’s boot in the corner. A back elbow to the face puts Van Dam down and Holly goes to the apron for a suplex onto the aforementioned table. The suplex hits and we go to a break, coming back to see a MASSIVE gash in Holly’s back. That is sick looking and he would have a scar for the rest of his WWE career.

Holly sets up a chair in the middle of the ring and drops Van Dam’s throat across the chair for two. With the chair over Van Dam’s face, Holly drops a middle rope leg for another two. There is blood all over Holly’s back. Van Dam comes back with a suplex onto the chair and blood SQUIRTS out of Holly’s back. That is freaking SICK. There’s the monkey flip and you can tell Holly is having to land awkwardly. The top rope kick puts Holly down and Van Dam gets the chair. There’s the skateboard dropkick into the corner and Holly is looking dead.

Rolling Thunder onto the chair onto Holly gets two. Van Dam tries another monkey flip but gets powerbombed down onto the chair for another close two. This is good stuff. Van Dam puts the chair on Hardcore’s chest and loads up the Five Star, but Holly throws the chair at his face on the way down. THAT gets two and the fans think this is awesome. Alabama Slam is countered so Holly gets the chair. However, YOU CAN’T HOLD A CHAIR IN FRONT OF VAN DAM! Van Daminator sets up the Five Star to finally beat Holly.

Rating: B+. That’s partially for the guts Holly had on display here. Take that either figuratively or literally as both are appropriate. This is easily Holly’s best match ever and one of the best matches that aired on this show. Really good stuff here and the cut on Holly’s back is insane.

Punk talks about being addicted to competition and wanting to compete with the biggest and the best. Kelly comes up and raves over Punk’s tattoos. She talks about extreme strip poker but is sad she can’t get into casinos yet. Kelly asks Punk to play extreme strip poker with him but he thinks that’s trouble. Knox comes up and gets in Punk’s face. Punk says worry about your woman because she keeps trying to get into his yard. Knox says he’s going to straighten Kelly out then he’s coming to look for Punk. Punk will be waiting.

Watch the Marine! No seriously, almost no one else did so could you please?

Ariel vs. Francine

This is an Extreme Catfight. Brawl to start, Ariel’s top comes off, Kevin Thorn comes in, Balls Mahoney makes the save, we’re done. This lasted like a minute.

Video on Sandman.

Heyman and Big Show are in the back talking about the main event. Show says he’s not worried about Sandman and wants Heyman and the security to stay in the back. The cane will be legal tonight and Heyman doesn’t seem happy.

Rene Dupree gets out of the shower in a towel. He says he’s extreme and opens the towel, looks down, and smiles. WWE before it was PG ladies and gentlemen.

ECW World Title: Big Show vs. Sandman

I love how Roberts says world title. We join this in progress after a break with Sandy pounding on Show with the cane and totally dominating. They head to the floor for more cane shots and Show is busted open. Holly needed 24 stitches to close the cut on his back. Sweet goodness that was a bad cut. Show comes back with a loud chop and some headbutts.

Things slow down a lot but that’s understandable in this case. A big right hand takes Sandman down and here’s the chokeslam. Sandman counters and hits a DDT before grabbing the cane. A middle rope cane shot to the head gets two but here’s Striker to steal the cane. The cobra clutch backbreaker and standing legdrop keep the title on Big Show.

Rating: D+. This is ECW 101 at this point: build up a challenger of the week and then have Big Show maul him. There’s nothing wrong with that as they need to dispatch these challengers before we get to the guy that can finally beat Big Show. Not a good match here or anything but for a TV main event like this it was acceptable.

Overall Rating: B. Given the opening match and the good shots of Ariel almost falling out of her top and a decent main event, this is probably the best ECW show yet. That Holly vs. Van Dam match was good back then and it’s aged well with the two guys beating the tar out of each other for almost twenty minutes. Good show here and hopefully they keep this up in the future.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

This is one of the reasons why NXT is possibly the best wrestling show today.Dusty Rhodes is the GM of NXT and he’s been on the show maybe three times.  He makes matches but he doesn’t do so on screen.  What might happen is two guys will have an altercation in the back and then when they have the match, Regal might say something like “this match was set up by NXT GM Dusty Rhodes.”  No TV time wasted, no theme songs being pounded into our heads, no holding the hand of the viewers, just matches being made when they make sense.

 

Why can’t Raw or Smackdown get this?