History of Wrestlemania with KB – Wrestlemania 26 – John Cena vs. Batista. Do You Need More?

Wrestlemania 26
Date: March 29, 2010
Location: University of Phoenix Stadium, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 72,219
Commentators: Matt Striker, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
America The Beautiful: Fantasia

Well, here we are. This has been one of the best hyped Manias in a LONG time and I could not wait for what was coming. Seriously, the card looked perfect and just about everyone that mattered was on it. The two biggest stars are fighting for the WWE Title. The Royal Rumble winner is fighting his former partner who turned on him.

Two legends are fighting in a career vs. streak match. This is old school booking at its finest and it’s worked like a charm. Pay attention Vince: keep things simple. Oh and Bret Hart and Vince are going to FINALLY end the Montreal Screwjob after over 12 years. Nothing major though. Let’s get to it.

Fantasia CANNOT SING. It sounds like an elephant stomping on my mother. The opening video is about everyone wanting to have their Wrestlemania moment. That’s the big thing indeed and that’s what it should be about. This is without a doubt the biggest night of the year and as JBL puts it the lights are on bright and everything is right here. That’s what Wrestlemania is all about: everyone wanting to steal the show.

It’s a beautiful thing and when it hits, there is nothing close to it in wrestling. They kind of run down the card without mentioning anything by name. This is really well done. That song I Made It is growing on me rapidly. It makes sense if nothing else so that’s all you need at times. Apparently this place is called the Toaster. Sure why not?

Unified Tag Titles: John Morrison/R-Truth vs. Big Show/Miz

Sweet GOODNESS there are some pretty ladies there. As X said, where are they the rest of the time? Yes, the pyro is cool in slow motion. Dang Miz’s theme music is awesome. Don’t expect a ton of criticism on this show as I thought it was awesome. The jacket on Miz…might be cool. I’m not sure though. I’d love to be the costume master for a company like this. It’s just awesome to get to pick the tights etc for these guys.

Imagine the memories of all of those various props and clothes in there. The ramp is really long so I have time to fill in here. We have a Spanish announce team. That and King being in a tux are nice things to get thrown out once in awhile. Now if only we had some John Wayne cufflinks. The arena looks awesome by the way. Apparently we’re in Romania for the first time ever tonight. Good show to start with I guess. Miz and Morrison start us off.

Morrison does that breakdancing legdrop of his. He’s athletic if nothing else. Show goes for maybe a Vader Bomb but Morrison kicks him in the head. This nearly kills Truth as Show falls backwards. Whose side is Morrison on here? Starship Pain misses. Show catches Truth’s plancha. That’s freaking insane. I mean Truth is a grown man and was coming down at Show. He just caught him. That’s insane. And Morrison goes for a springboard move and gets punched for the pin. What the heck was that?

Rating: D. This felt like about 4 minutes were edited out or something. It came from nowhere and just felt awkward. To be fair though, no one cared about this and it was just a way to get the tag titles on the show. Also, they knew this would be forgotten by the end of the show so why not just get it out of the way?

We recap the events of Mania week and it looks awesome. There was a golf tournament, an art show, and of course Axxess. Blast it looks awesome. Oh and there was a reading challenge too. Can’t beat that.

Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes

Remember, this is NOT a handicap match. DiBiase has the look far more than Rhodes does and it’s not even close. That could be due to the white boots he’s wearing that make him look like a freaking moron but that could just be me. Orton is WAY over. Thankfully the next night on Raw Vince got the hint and did the full face turn that he had been dying for the past few months. Remember, this is NOT a handicap match.

Everyone throws dropkicks to start. If nothing else Rhodes is cool for the Triforce. Legacy beats up Orton and you know what’s coming. Hey, did you know there are over 70,000 people there? We’re 20 minutes in and we’ve only mentioned that 8 times or so. Didn’t know if it was clear or not. Orton gets a few punches in and the place POPS. They try a leg sweep/clothesline combo but Rhodes completely misses his leg sweep.

Make that a chopblock as I forgot my move names there for a bit. Legacy EXPLODES! Rhodes channels his former jerk…I mean partner, Hardcore Holly, with an Alabama Slam. While DiBiase throws some bad punches at Rhodes, Orton gets up. In the coolest spot of the first hour or so, Orton hits the double DDT on Legacy. That was great , of which both members of Legacy have decent looking ones. Orton humps the mat as usual, waiting on Rhodes to get up.

No RKO though as Orton channels his inner Ray Guy (He’s a punter in the Hall of Fame. How weird does that sound?) and Rhodes is out for good. DiBiase goes for Dream Street but Orton gets a sweet little counter into the RKO and the POP! The fans love this guy to say the least. And we get the sweet pose. Love that thing.

Rating: D+. Not much here, but at the same time they did the right thing. Orton needed to beat these two to put them behind him and move on to a feud with a heel. The RKO got a pop so that’s all that matters. This was exactly what it was supposed to be. Oh and to all you morons that say one of Legacy should have gone over, you’re an idiot.

Don’t try this at home. I mean it. Do it at school or at your aunt’s house. Just DO NOT TO IT AT HOME!

Vickie and her heel Divas talk about their match. I don’t pay attention because Michelle looks good. Jillian comes in to sing and Santino shows up. He bites a Slim Jim and Jillian becomes Mae Young who of course kisses him. Another bite and it’s Mean Gene. Ok that makes things better. One more bite and it’s Melina. Dang that hair is hot.

Money in the Bank

Kofi is out first and is more or less the weakest of the three favorites. His hair looks like a buffalo came in it. He’s wearing white trunks here for some reason. He’s only been qualified for 6 days at this point. MVP is in second. No one cares. At least he’s not in red anymore. Bourne is third so we have our high flier. Three Raw guys so far. Fourth is Swagger to a nice reaction. He debuts the Angle look here and those pushups…don’t appear here.

That sucks because they rock. Shelton is 5th and he belong here. Matt gets a nice pop. Ziggler is in next and I legit forgot he both existed and was in this match. McIntyre, one of the other favorites, has the majority of his entrance cut which sucks. He’s IC Champion here in case you forgot. Kane….you need a better push. Yes I know that’s one of the biggest debates here. Get over it. He has a big black eye which might be from Shawn on Monday.

Christian gets a decent pop as the odds on favorite. There are a ton of ladders and there we go. Drew goes for it maybe 30 seconds in so of course it doesn’t work. In a cool sequence, everyone goes up but everyone else pulls them down. Bourne touches the case and FTS wants to cry. Swagger is in front of the turnbuckle, Matt is in front of him, a ladder is in front of them, Kofi is thrown into the ladder.

That…wouldn’t hurt as much as it would seem to. Ziggler almost gets there but we remember he’s Dolph Ziggler so we know it’s not ending yet. Kane powerbombs Kofi onto a ladder. Freaking OW. I’m not sure if I like the ten men or not. On one hand, it keeps things from being all boring and whatnot as you have someone getting hurt and then others coming back and then repeat. On the other hand, yeah right. Striker says some people think Swagger can carry the WWE. HA!

In a cool spot (shocking I know) there’s a ladder in the ring and Swagger is under it. Matt and Christian have a ladder each and ram it through the rungs to spear Swagger with it. I like that. Bourne and Christian fight on the ladder that’s bridged between the rope and the ladder in the middle like a scaffold. Bourne knocks Christian down and like an IDIOT hits a shooting star press onto Christian. Yeah he deserves to get beaten here.

Matt takes a front flip onto the scaffold ladder. Yeah he’s broken SMACK DAB IN HALF! Sorry the Oklahoma guy got me there for a minute. Naturally this is a spotfest, but what did you really expect? Kane gets a BIG pop when he makes a save. He throws a ladder at Ziggler which is freaking cool looking. Dolph gets put between a ladder and gets worn out with it. Yep it’s broken. Trouble in Paradise puts Kane down.

In a BRILLIANT spot, Kofi takes the two pieces of the ladder and walks from the corner to the middle using them as stilts. That’s AWESOME. That is why these matches stay awesome: making new spots like that. Drew makes the save but Matt stops him. I would have bet on that being the ending. Matt stays up there FOREVER but can’t get the thing off. That’s just idiotic but whatever. Seriously, he has like 5 chances to get it and doesn’t do it.

Matt: YOU ARE AN IDIOT! Christian takes him down with the reverse DDT so Cole says it was a Twist of Fate. Yeah, the hint would be that Christian is ok. Swagger is back now and it’s him vs. Christian.

Swagger puts Christian down…and fiddles with the case…and fiddles with it…and writes the great American novel…and WINS THE THING. THAT is your Mania shocker right there. No one, and I mean NO ONE saw this one coming. Match felt short, which you’ll hear a lot more tonight. Had to pause there. Norcal’s explosion is still giving us tremors.

Rating: B. This would start at a B in case you were wondering. These matches are ones that you can’t grade like a normal match based on the amount of people and the gimmick involved in them. While not as good as some of the others, the idea is cool.

Naturally WWE is going to have a PPV about it instead of letting it be a Mania exclusive but that’s their idiocy for you. Swagger winning is a legit shock though so I can complain about that one at all. Solid stuff though but I could have gone for more people in the ring at once and more spots.

Ad for Extreme Rules.

Hall of Fame time, and for once the class is AWESOME. When Mad Dog Vachon is the worst wrestler and smallest star, that’s saying A LOT. Gorgeous George’s wife is awesome. I want to see Uecker’s speech. That could be hilarious. Ted DiBiase is the best heel of all time. End of argument. Yes that includes Hogan and Flair. That laugh is just amazing.

FINK!!! He brings out the Class of 2010. The entire Hart Family represents Stu. I want to punch Bruce in the face.

We recap HHH vs. Sheamus. This was almost the world title match but they woke up and realized it should be a regular match which I can more than live with. Apparently Sheamus is jealous of HHH. That makes sense. I’d be jealous of his wife if nothing else. HHH eliminated him at Elimination Chamber to really set this up. We get Ultimate Warrior clips. That’s saying a lot.

Sheamus vs. HHH

The view from the top of the stadium with the tiny ring in there is awesome looking. They say no one has had a first year in WWE like Sheamis has. That’s true. When Lesnar did three times what Sheamus did in one year, it was WWF still. HHH gets a nice pop but it doesn’t hold up that long. Ok I’m wrong on that one. HHH has made Wrestlemania? Not sure on that one. HHH looks a tad chubby here. Maybe that’s just me. Ok the entrance is still cool.

He looks like a huge star and he’s supposed to. Talk about a contrast of skin tones here. HHH goes for a Pedigree about a minute in. That’s credited to Mania experience. Uh, why? Isn’t that called going for a finisher early? I’d want to do that in any match. Since HHH got big in the Attitude Era, we hit the floor. The figure four goes on and Flair is reference. Does that make AJ and HHH some kind of brothers? Ok, we get it: HHH is a veteran.

Oh and he’s the Ace of Spades now. What the heck does that even mean? Sheamus likes to yell when he kicks people. It’s rather annoying. Stop it. DO YOU HEAR ME YOU MILKY SKINNED IMBECILE??? Hey that actually worked. He channels his inner British Bulldog and hits a running powerslam. Nothing wrong with that. HHH breaks the momentum with a DDT. That might not work due to that hair though.

Striker: Tie your mother down, here comes HHH. So Striker has random shouts of incestuous bondage. Right. We get a nice finisher reversal sequence that ends with Sheamus hitting the bicycle kick. He gets another after HHH kicks out but both guys are down. Isn’t that a witch? HHH falls on his face and Striker says it’s experience. Lawler has some sense and says it might have been dumb luck. Thank you Lawler. And there’s a Pedigree from nowhere for the pin. Ok then.

Rating: B-. This was pretty solid I thought. It came off like a main event level match and that’s what it was supposed to do. Also, there was a big thing here about how Sheamus should have won. Ok, that’s just stupid. HHH is a bigger star and at the big shows, the bigger stars are supposed to win.

This guy debuted a year ago and he’s wrestling a 12 time world champion at Mania. What more do you want? It’s his best match ever by about a mile also, so this worked out fine. Good match, but not a classic like Lawler claims it is.

Slim Jim Ad. OH YEAH!

We recap Rey vs. Punk. This was a cool buildup I thought but it could have been a bit more. Rey sang Happy Birthday to his daughter and Punk interrupted him. Rey cost Punk his spot in MITB. Rey’s son Dominic is taller than he is. That’s the same kid from 05 in the Eddie feud. That’s just amusing.

Rey Mysterio vs. C.M. Punk

Oh sweet Punk has a mic. Punk needs to actually win a match once in awhile to make this gimmick work perfectly though. These promos get better every single time. Rey is dressed like a character from Avatar tonight. Oh just take me now. It can’t get stupider than this. It just can’t. Yep, Rey looks like a moron dressed like that. He truly does. Gallows interferes early and it’s Punk in control. Straightedge prevails again!

Punk’s tights make me think of GI Joe for some reason. Aren’t the Na’vi really tall? See, the costume makes no sense. Punk gets a SICK kick to the side of Rey’s stupid looking head. We get a CM Punk (sucks) chant going and Rey kind of botches a backflip off the top rope into a DDT. It was close though. And Rey manages to tick me off again by doing the Eddie dance before throwing out a Frog Splash. HE IS DEAD. LET IT GO. I freaking hate the 619.

After some botched heel interference, the springboard splash ends this, saving him from joining the Straightedge Society and gaining him…nothing at all. Ok then. Not agreeing with the ending here, but it could be ok I guess. Oh and Cole says you never mess with another man’s family. I don’t see why not. Eddie did it and he gets a dozen tributes a year.

Rating: B-. Pretty good stuff here I thought. These two have decent chemistry together, but like I said I would have preferred Punk to win for a few reasons. If nothing else this could continue though so that’s a perk. Pretty solid stuff here overall.

We recap Bret vs. Vince. No way am I recapping this. If you don’t know this story by now, why are you here? The image of Vince in Bret’s sunglasses is cool.

Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon

Man that is weird to type. Bret is in street clothes here. That’s the right thing to go with I think, as if nothing else he’s likely not in the shape he was before so why embarrass yourself? Are you listening Flair? Vince comes out and says that he has insurance for this match and it’s going to be a lumberjack match. And of course they’re the Hart Family. Bruce is a douche, period.

When they came out, it couldn’t have been much more obvious what was coming. Oh great Bruce is the referee. And of course the Harts turn on Vince before the match starts. Bret’s first punch gets a pop. Bruce, ever the douche, counts when Vince is on the floor in a match with no countouts. Vince is on the floor and the whole family beats him up including a Hart Attack from the top via the Hart Dynasty. Vince hasn’t landed a single shot.

He does however find a tire iron under the ring. Bret gets about 10 shots in with the tire iron over a few minutes. He goes for the legs and the fans go nuts. Nope not yet. Nice tease there though. He sets for it again but it’s a low blow instead. Good to see some old Bret stuff in there. David slides in a chair…which Bret sits down in. Ok this is a bit awkward. Also it’s amusing that Lawler is behind Bret here when he used to HATE Bret.

SWEET chair shot from Bret. He goes OFF on him with it for a total of TWENTY chairshots, breaking Austin’s record of shots to Rock at X7. And then he puts on the Sharpshooter and kills the Montreal Screwjob forever. Vince literally did not hit anything, not even a punch.

Rating: A+. Now before X jumps down my throat for this, you have to consider what this was about. This wasn’t about a competitive match or storytelling or anything like that. This was about Bret getting revenge on Vince. Vince never should have gotten anything in here and literally he didn’t.

Bret completely destroyed him for ten minutes and then the match ended with Vince giving up to the Sharpshooter. That is all you could have wanted out of this and the most infamous moment in wrestling history can be laid to rest. That alone makes this perfect.

Now can we make Bruce Hart fall into a hole?

Mania 27 will be in Atlanta.

The attendance is announced. That’s always cool. Of course we launch fireworks that few in the arena can see. Ok then.

We recap Edge vs. Jericho, which is a simple revenge story. This year they kept things simple and it worked very well. Jericho was showing some emotion here and it worked very well. Oh and spear, spear, SPEAR!

Smackdown World Title: Chris Jericho vs. Edge

This should be good from an in ring perspective if nothing else. Edge looks to have lost a bit of weight. They start by feeling each other out as you would expect I would assume. It is a bit odd that they try to make their tag title reign sound important when they were together what, maybe a month? Jericho and Edge trained together? I don’t remember that. Jericho is controlling which is what you would expect. Oddly there was no control period by Edge. That’s most odd.

Hey, did you know Jericho beat Austin and Rock in the same night? Edge hits a nice running clothesline from the apron to the floor. It’s the simple moves that work the best sometimes. Edge hits a sunset flip from the middle rope. Ok then. Codebreaker is blocked. Pretty good match so far. Edge, complete with the great looking eyes, goes for a spear but in a SWANK counter, Jericho jumps over and more or less gets a schoolboy into the Walls.

Since Edge is a face though he doesn’t tap. Has that ever beaten a prominent face? The Edgecution hits but of course it’s not called that anymore because the announcers suck. They point out that Jericho never gets hurt. That’s very true actually. Jericho goes for a spear but winds up hitting the Codebreaker for two. Jericho goes for the ankle which makes sense. As someone with very bad ankle problems, it really is smart to go after them if you’re fighting someone.

Walls go on again but Jericho switches to a half crab. Well he did train with Lance Storm. The crowd is having fun with this. He gets to the ropes in case you were wondering. Jericho goes for the belt but that doesn’t work. Ok never mind it does since the referee goes down. A really bad Codebreaker gets the clean pin.

I would not have seen that one coming at all. Post match, Edge gets him on one of the tables and after a running start, spears the living tar out of Jericho into a barrier which clearly will be an injury spot.

Rating: A-. That’s likely too high but I really liked this match. It was entertaining the whole time through but it needed a few more minutes. I really like the surprise ending where Edge loses when he was more or less seen as a lock. That’s risky booking but here I think it came off very well. Very good match and definitely the best of the night so far.

We talk about the battle royal before Mania which Tatsu won. Good for him.

Face Divas vs. Heel Divas

Seriously do the rosters matter here? It’s 5 on 5. That’s all you need to know. Vickie is one of the heels so of course she’ll be the focus of the whole match. Beth looks great in white. That is all. So everyone beats up Vickie until Michelle makes a save. They alternate back and forth with everyone coming in and hitting someone with a finisher until we’re left with Beth and Vickie. Michelle puts Beth down and Vickie hits a “Hog Splash” on Kelly for the win. She managed to botch a cover. That’s hard to do. This was like 3 minutes long.

Rating: F. Seriously, what the heck was this? Eddie, I never thought you were anywhere near what people made you out to be, but you deserve better than this.

Time for Cena vs. Batista. I know you know the story so I’ll spare you the details. The crowd exploded for the graphic coming onscreen.

WWE Championship: John Cena vs. Batista

Love them or hate them, this is THE money match right here. Period and end of story. There is no other combination that is a selling point like this is right here. This is what Mania is supposed to be about: the biggest stars in the world squaring off for the world championship. I’ve loved the buildup for this and it was what I was looking forward to more than anything. Oh and Cena’s thing this year is a group of Air Force drill people spinning rifles until Cena runs through them.

Far better than last year if nothing else. We start with the feeling out period as the announcers argue over who is stronger. That’s an interesting argument actually. The idea is Cena’s neck injury from about a year and a half ago is still bothering him. Sure why not? Batista counters the FU into a DDT that was PAINFUL looking. Apparently if your opponent’s arms and legs go limp, he’s in trouble. Ladies and gentlemen, the insights of Matt Striker!

If your opponent is losing the ability to support their own weight, THEY COULD BE IN TROUBLE! And the fans have already turned on Cena with the Boo/Yay thing. And then there’s a very face pop for the Five Knuckle Shuffle which is countered into a spinebuster. You would think there would be a shift to booing there but not really. STFU is hooked and we’ve cranked it into a higher gear. In a cool spot, we hit a test of strength on the top rope. That’s new if nothing else.

Five Knuckle Shuffle from the top as he channels his inner Jannetty. Yes, a Marty Jannetty move landed in a Mania main event. Batista Bomb gets two and a mouth from Batista that could swallow Molly Holly alive. Jannetty and Molly Holly got mentioned in this match. Wow. Cena gets a SWEET counter into the FU out of a reversed Batista Bomb. He rolled from slipping over the shoulders to what looked like a tombstone to the FU.

Amazing and he threw Batista about a mile but it only got two. In almost the same spot that his neck got hurt in, Batista catches Cena in a spinebuster from the top. ANOTHER Batista Bomb is countered into the STFU for the tap. It looked like a weak version but the shot of Batista’s leg made up for it. Cena being named a 9 time champion just makes it seem a bit weak though as it always does.

Post match, Cena celebrates with the crowd and we see a guy saying Cena sucks and Cena acknowledges him. That right there is something I freaking LOVE about Cena. Guys like Hogan got a mixed reaction like that and acted like they were still the most over thing ever. I’ve always hated that as it’s just idiotic.

It’s like when WCW said there isn’t a seat to be found as we scan over the crowd seeing all the tarped off areas and empty seats. Cena talks about the booing. It makes him seem more down to Earth which I like for a change.

Rating: A. Sweet match here as these two continue to be the Austin/Rock of their generation. Like I said this is the money match of this generation. The chemistry here is undeniable as Cena is one of the few guys that brings out the best in Batista. This is what a Wrestlemania main event match should be about and it delivered in a big way.

Another Extreme Rules ad.

And now, it is time. This had to be the last match, period. Flair vs. Shawn should have been as well but that’s another story. I’m again not bothering to explain this one as it’s Career vs. Streak. End of explanation. They call it the most anticipated match in Mania history. Not sure on that one.

The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

Well here we go. This is one of two matches this show was sold on so you know it’s going to be good considering who’s in it. This many years after he debuted, Taker’s entrance is still awesome. Taker is rocking something that makes him look a bit like a boxer which works. We hit the staredown and Shawn does Taker’s throat slit. Keep that in mind. Taker dominates early, hitting Snake Eyes and Old School in the first minute or so.

He tweeks his knee on Old School though and Shawn goes for it. Old guys know psychology. Shawn goes for the arm which makes sense as it takes away the Tombstone and Last Ride. Oh and remember there are no count outs or DQs. Both finishers miss and the crowd is liking this a lot. And now back to the knee. The arm work was brief so that’s fine. Taker teases the rope dive but Shawn slides in and takes out the knee again. Good after what happened with that move last year.

Shawn busts out a figure four and much like Flair, PUTS IT ON THE WRONG LEG. The straight leg gets hurt. How hard is that to get? Nip Up is caught in a chokeslam. I like how he just launches him with those at times. An ankle lock is on as Shawn is fine maybe 8 seconds later. He gets the heel hook out of it and Taker is in trouble. He gets out though because Shawn isn’t an American hero. Shawn gets tombstoned on the floor. Ok then.

Shawn is dead apparently. Someone comes out to check on him and of course the match keeps going. Striker, CALM DOWN! The Last Ride hits but Shawn kind of counters into an X Factor so the impact is lessened. I can forgive him for being up quickly for that. Shawn gets out of Hell’s Gate with a nifty counter where he jumps over into a rollup. That was ni…SWEET CHIN MUSIC! Of course it gets two but that came from nowhere. The camera missed most of it.

I love stuff like that as it makes things feel more shocking. Taker blocks another kick and hits the biggest Last Ride ever for two. Shawn was at least 11 feet in the air. Awesome looking. Taker looks furious.

And now, we go to the floor. This might not end well. Why do they take such care of the monitors? I’ve never gotten that. And I mean in kayfabe before you freak out on me. Taker goes for a Last Ride through the table but Shawn counters and hits Sweet Chin Music to put Taker on it. He slowly climbs up to the top rope and launches a picture perfect moonsault.

Now if only he had hit Taker’s chest and not his leg. I legit thought his leg was seriously hurt for a bit until he got up on it a bit later. Back in the ring Shawn hits the THIRD superkick and IT gets two. This isn’t quite last year’s match but it’s VERY close. Another kick is blocked into a chokeslam but his knee is out. Tombstone also gets two and the crowd is losing it over these twos. Taker is LIVID. There go the straps. Shawn hasn’t moved yet.

Taker starts the throat slit but can’t finish it. Just like he did for Jeff Hardy, he can’t bring himself to hurt him anymore. After he shouts at Shawn to stay down, Shawn does his own throat slit, admitting he just can’t do it. He then does the unthinkable and slaps Taker. This was four days ago and 3000 miles from me and the look on Taker’s face scared the heck out of me. Taker is livid and picks up Michaels for a JUMPING TOMBSTONE.

Shawn is of course legally dead now and the career ends. No music plays at first, which is a very nice touch. The crowd isn’t sure what to do. I collapsed when he got the pin on my first viewing and it’s still a tiring match to watch. Taker staggers up and does his pose as 18-0 flashes up on the screen.

That, to say the least, is mind blowing. More on that later. Taker gets him to his feet and they shake hands like they should do. It’s Shawn’s moment as Mr. Wrestlemania gets a standing ovation. He walks up the ramp, and Jerry Lawler puts is perfectly: Shawn, it’s over. Good-bye. Thank you.

Rating: A+. It’s not as good as last year’s was, but this was an epic match to say the least. We knew who was going to win, but that’s ok here to me. The ending was perfect as Shawn gave up and was defiant until the end. If someone is going to end it, Taker is a fine choice and the angle was perfect.

It’s a very emotional match, but that takes nothing away from the quality of it. The best word I can think of for this is satisfying. Everything you could want is in here and it’s a fitting end to the show. Shawn, I was never a big fan of your’s, but your career was remarkable to put it as low as I can. I’ll miss you.

Overall Rating: A. GREAT Mania. Nothing at all feels slow on here at all. Even the Divas match is at least fast paced and at three and a half minutes with hot women, how much can you really complain? This had it all as there is history, title changes, surprised, tons of emotion and a perfect card. Shocky made a comment that it’s in the top three Manias ever and he might be on to something actually.

It’s behind 17 for me and off the top of my head that’s it from a quality standpoint but I haven’t thought about it much. This was a great show though with the big matches all being great and the others being very good as well. Nothing was truly bad other than the Divas match which is totally overlookable. Great Mania and ABSOLUTELY worth seeing. I loved it.

And now for three bonus sections. Of course I’m going to do more for a Mania review. It’s the biggest show of the year and I started my reviews with Mania.

To begin with, this Mania set up the upcoming year rather well. As always, Mania marks both the beginning and the end of the year. Cena is back on top which is fine as he should be there. Jericho was a shocker to retain for me and maybe they’re showing confidence in him.

Swagger, Sheamus, Punk, Christian, Kofi and others are ready to take this company over while the current generation of stars in Cena, Batsita, Orton and HHH can more than hold down the fort and bring those guys up. That’s how you have a good company: a well rounded new generation that is ready to take over. I have high hopes for the company as the roster is clicking and the stories have been great thanks to them slowing things down and going with basic angles.

The older generation is dying away as Montreal is finally laid to rest and Shawn is retired now. That’s how things should be as guys from 8 years ago like Cena and Orton are the top guys now and they have been groomed for these spots. I have high hopes for this company as this is the best its looked in many a year.

Item number two is the Streak. This my friends, is the most amazing achievement in wrestling history. “But KB, all it means is he’s been booked strong at one point a year.” Yeah that’s nonsense. To begin with, the Streak didn’t mean anything until 2001. I don’t think it was even mentioned until around that time. Second, think of this. Shawn Michaels is called Mr. Wrestlemania. He’s wrestled at that show 17 times.

Mr. Wrestlemania has not competed at Wrestlemania as many times as Taker has won there. Let that sink in for a moment. The Streak is an angle in and of itself. What was the argument between Shawn and Taker over both times? Nothing other than beating Taker at Wrestlemania.

There is no equivalent to it in all of wrestling and there never will be. To even be around for 18 years is an accomplishment. The thing is just amazing and hopefully it will never die. It’s my favorite part of the show and it never fails to deliver.

And now we move to the white elephant in the room. Shawn Michaels, arguably the best performer ever, has retired. Like I said I was never the biggest Shawn fan, but to deny his talent or the impact he had on wrestling would be ridiculously unfair to him and his legacy. He changed the way a lot of wrestlers perform and there are many reasons why, all of which you can see by watching him.

He stole the show so many times and retired as better than probably 95% of the wrestlers in the world. He went out on top on his own terms which is all you can want. He was one of the best ever and maybe the best ever, but that’s an argument for another time. I’m sad to see him go, but glad that he went out like this. In his speech the next night on Raw he more or less said he wasn’t going to TNA which is great as he would likely wind up jobbing to people beneath him.

Also, if he ever wants to, Vince would welcome him back with open arms. His exit was classy and perfectly done and to me it would be a shame if he came back, but I could live with it. It’s sad to see him go, but nice at the same time as he can go in peace. Have a good retirement Shawn. You’ve earned it.




History of Wrestlemania with KB – Wrestlemania 25 – Oh dear. Oh dear indeed.

Wrestlemania 25
Date: April, 5 2009
Location: Reliant Stadium, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 72,744
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
America The Beautiful: Some Pussycat Doll

Please keep in mind that this show was partially written live so excuse some of the in the moment emotional reactions.

Since this show literally is happening tonight, I won’t bother with any kind of a recap. We start with your standard history package that somehow never gets old to me at all.

Money In The Bank: CM Punk vs. MVP vs. Kane vs. Christian vs. Finlay vs. Mark Henry vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Shelton Benjamin

Finlay is breaking out the old school Fit Finlay shoulder pads. I’m digging it. After ten minutes of entrances, we’re underway.  As usual I’m not even going to bother trying to keep track of everything that’s going on in this as it’s going to be all over the place like it always is.

Henry and Kane clear the ring almost immediately and the fans chant for Christian.  Christian and Shelton take care of them as it’s back and forth already.  Kofi may have hurt his knee on a big jump over the ladder and a dropkick.  Henry and Kane go up but can’t get anywhere as we’re three minutes in.  An army of midcarers takes care of Henry.

Four guys go up the ladder and the big guys take them down again.  Finlay clears the ring and dives out on Kane.  Christian takes out Kane and Finlay as this is kind of all of the place.  What a shock indeed.  Henry takes out all three of them to continue the tradition.  Punk and Kofi hit stereo suicide dives.  Shelton dives off the ladder and more or less lands on his head.

Shelton may have killed himself with that stupid flip. That scared the heck out of me. Also for those interested, I just found out that the tag titles was the preshow match with the Colons winning. It’s your general spotfest so far and that’s what it’s supposed to be. Crowd is fairly hot too.

Horny busts out a stepladder which gets him nowhere at all.  Naturally a jumping midget can take out six guys.  Finlay brings out the big ladder which is required viewing anymore.  Kofi takes a good shot and is down already.  He’s taking a big beating and it’s working pretty well.
Kofi is bumping like a crazy man in this match. I’m loving him so far as he’s the highlight of the show. Kane and Henry were dominant early on but here come the smaller people. Henry is back and is setting up a ladder.  While he holds it up, Kofi runs up the side of it but falls and is caught in the World’s Strongest Slam in a sweet spot.

MVP comes in to pound of Henry which gets him nowhere again.  MVP stops Shelton, Punk stops MVP, Christian stops Punk.  Punk and Christian do a cool spot on a ladder that’s balanced from one ladder to the top rope and even though the Unprettier was botched horribly, that’s hard to blame them for.

MVP almost makes it again but Shelton makes an incredible save.  He runs up a ladder leaning against the ring then across a ladder between the rope and a ladder in the ring and then up the other ladder that MVP is on to make the last second save.  That was incredible and as usual Shelton gets the spot of the match.

The botches in this match are killing it. These matches are really hard to call. Kane, Christian and Punk are fighting on the ladders and all but Punk fall, making him the first two time MITB winner!

Rating: C+. The problem here is the botches. There were a ton this year and the winner was kind of a letdown, and remember Punk is my favorite wrestler. It was a great opener, but not a great match if that makes sense. Too many people and really just a lot of one on ones for about twenty minutes. Not bad.

Axxess recap. Would be funner to be there to watch it.

Kid Rock performs. We don’t care as this is a food break for me. He’s on his third song and the reaction is priceless. There is absolute silence here as the fans simply could not care less. He does two old songs and his new one. My lord this is a waste of time. We don’t get the tag title match but we get this? Waste of time.

He is on his fourth song now. At least All Summer Long is a decent song, but do we need to hear this now? My goodness, he’s doing another one. The divas come out to dance with him. My headache is now at the grab a hatchet level, as this is at ten minutes now. After a big pyro display, it’s time for the battle royal. Holy goodness I’m bored.

25 Diva Battle Royal

Not even going to try to call this as we don’t even get the intros here. This is a freaking joke, thank you Kid Rock. No Trish or Lita means this isn’t a legit battle royal. We don’t even have a list or a face shot of all the divas. It’s a standard battle royal and I literally couldn’t be more bored. The commentators are sucking up to Kid Rock so much that I’m about to mute this. Literally people are being eliminated and it’s the first we hear of them. This is pathetic.

Santino is in drag as this is somehow even dumber every second. Never in my life have I seen a worse Mania match, period. Final there are Melina, Beth and Santino. I knew it. Freaking Santino wins. The commentators apparently don’t realize the massive tattoo on his chest. Has wrestling really fallen this far? The SFAC is going to be proud of this, and that is completely sickening to me.

Rating: N/A. This is the worst Mania match of all time. It was designed to get a stupid comedy guy on the show, we don’t know who was in it, they got no face time, and Kid Rock is the freaking cause of it. I am officially angry about this show. Such a waste of time. I’m not rating it because there isn’t a rating low enough for it.

Chris Jericho vs. Roddy Piper/Jimmy Snuka/Ricky Steamboat

Jericho has to beat all three to win. Massive recap as we’re somehow led to believe that Rourke won’t be at the show. Yeah right. Rourke actually is here. I’m surprised. They kind of get their own intros as their musics play but they stand on the ramp instead of going to the ring. Piper gets a decent pop. He looks decent too. Considering he had cancer less than two years ago, this is amazing. Flair accompanies them.

Piper is wearing a shirt which is likely a good thing. PIPER THROWS A DROPKICK!!!  Off to Snuka who does his usual offense that gets him nowhere at all.  And there’s the Liontamer to end him.  He looked awful out there.  Piper is mind blowing here. He looks as good as he did in WCW. Now is that a compliment or not?

As I type that, he’s eliminated via Codebreaker.  This is literally 5 minutes in and it’s 1 on 1.  I know this didn’t seem like it was five minutes but that’s how slowly these guys are moving.  The old guys are getting to throw out some basic offense but it’s just leading to them being eliminated.  Steamboat skins the cat in his 50s and of course we don’t see it. HE JUMPS OVER THE TOP ROPE! This is making up for everything.

Ross talks about how Jericho is staying with the Legends like it’s surprising.  Steamboat is tearing this up and I’m wanting to stop the review to look at him go.  This is incredible stuff considering no one expected a single thing out of him.  He gets the cross body for two as Jericho is reeling.  And then he walks into the Codebreaker to end it.  That was amazing while it lasted.

Steamboat had me freaking out. Flair runs in and gets beaten up too. Of course Rourke gets in the ring and they have an impromptu boxing match. Rourke knocks him down as this is somehow dumber than it was before.

Rating: C+. Considering their ages and level of rust, this was mind blowing. Jericho had to win though. Steamboat had me on the edge of my chair. How he’s not called one of the best ever is beyond me. We’re three matches in and Steamboat has carried this. That’s a very bad sign. Let me make sure I have this straight: four hall of famers can’t beat up Jericho, but a 56 year old guy that boxed almost 15 years ago can beat him up?

In something funny, when they said go into the storm, it thundered at my house.

We get the recap talking about how Matt more or less tried to kill Jeff about three times. Of course he doesn’t prosecute him. He wrestles him. You have to love WWE.

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

I miss Matt’s old heel attire.  He looked like a legit monster.  Naturally they got rid of them and made him an overrated face again.  This has happened before but they made it big this time.  I don’t think people are interested in this but whatever.  Matt takes a shot with a WWE poster.  How EXTREME!  Matt takes Jeff down but Jeff gets up first.  Well of course he does.

Crowd is waking up a tad here which might be exactly what this show needs. Matt has a bit of a gut which surprises me.  Poetry in Motion with the assistance of a chair misses and here comes Matt.  He takes out Jeff’s knee and just cracks him with the chair for two.  Matt grabs a dry-vac from under the ring.  Why a dry vac is under there is beyond me but it’s WWE so I’ll just kind of go with it.

Side effect on a chair gets two.  Matt is dominating here as he bends Jeff’s back around the post.  It’s table time but there’s no D-Von around to get it.  What are we going to do???  They slug it out and neither guy goes through it.  This is intense but kind of dull at the same time if that makes sense.

Jeff gets a kendo stick to crack away at him and here come the required trashcans.  Slingshot dropkick into the can into Matt has him in big trouble.  Swanton misses and Jeff is in trouble.  Twist of Fate connect and only gets two.  Almost zero heat on the kickout either.  Matt goes for a Swanton which is blocked.  The people of Houston just avoided a huge earthquake.

Matt gets CRACKED over the head with a chair in a sick looking and sounding shot.  Jeff sets Matt on a table and then another table on top of that and splashes it and dang if he didn’t almost hit him!  Back in the ring it only gets two.  This needs to end like now.

The more successful one goes to the floor and pulls out some ladders.  Well of course he does.  Jeff misses a huge bump by setting up a huge ladder and then climbing up a regular one and jumping over the big one.  He crashes down in pain and I’m slightly entertained. Matt does a sick looking Twist of Fate on a chair to close this out.

Rating: C. This wasn’t terrible and the ending was perfect. Matt’s finisher, not Jeff’s mistake ended it. There was no way Jeff could win this and he didn’t. It wasn’t great, but it could have been far worse. Not terrible.  I just don’t think they had the intensity they wanted with this and it kind of showed through.

Legends of Mania commercial.

Orton is getting ready.

IC Title: JBL vs. Rey Mysterio

I miss the intros as I heat up my tacos. Mysterio looks like Doink the Clown. How does he manage to come up with a dumber outfit every Mania? Rey looks so ridiculous as apparently he’s the Joker. He’s also wearing bright green suspenders. Holy goodness it’s a 10 second match! WHAT ARE THEY DOING??? Rey hits the 619 and a splash and wins it?

Rating: N/A. This is officially the dumbest Mania of all time. There has to be like 40 minutes each for the last three matches.

JBL’s big announcement is that he quits, getting the pop of the night.

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

If this match isn’t a 5 star classic, this is officially the worst Mania of all time, end of argument. Massive recap to start of course. The entrances are of course mind blowingly sweet with Taker coming up out of darkness and Shawn coming down from the ceiling in a white chariot like an angel.  Ok that was awesome.

This just feels epic on all levels which is how it’s supposed to feel.  And here we go.  The fans pop for the bell.  Think they’re excited?  Sign a few rows back: It’s still real to me!  OH YES!  Shawn scores a few points with some chops and then runs.  Taker blocks a punch and throws Shawn over the top but Shawn catches himself.

HBK fakes a knee injury.  Now that’s just brilliant.  You know he’s never done that for Wrestlemania before!  Basically an extended feeling out process here as neither guy can get an advantage going here.  Big back drop by Taker and Shawn is in some trouble.  Elbow gets one only.  Old School gets a big ovation and Shawn is in trouble.

And so much for that as Taker misses a kick in the corner and Shawn goes for the knee.  There go the dueling chants.  Sharpshooter is blocked so Shawn uses a reverse figure four and Taker is in little trouble because he’s not going to tap.  Taker’s solution to get out of this?  Punch Shawn in the face.  You can’t beat simplicity at times.

Taker unloads on him in the corner and gets the Snake Eyes and big boot combination.  Shawn gets a bad crossface out of nowhere which sees Taker laying on his side.  Taker stands up and gets a side slam to break up the hold.  Nicely done.  Shawn kicks him in the face and Taker glares at him.  Forearm puts Taker down and we get a nip up at the same time Taker sits up.

Shawn sets for the elbow from the top but Taker sits up and Shawn is in trouble again.  He counters that but walks into Hell’s Gate as he goes for the Figure Four again.  A rope is grabbed and we head the to floor.  Apron legdrop misses and Shawn avoids trouble.  Baseball slide puts Taker down again.  Moonsault to the floor misses though and Shawn is in big trouble again.

The momentum is changing every few seconds here and it’s great stuff.  Taker hits the ropes and OH MY FREAKING GOODNESS!  Taker dove over the ropes but overrotated and slammed his freaking head into the floor!  He more or less killed a cameraman and there was a loud cracking sound.  Luckily the replay shows that it was just the camera hitting the ground which is a nice break I guess.

Wow that was insane looking though.  I was legitimately thinking they were going to have to stop it there.  That was as scary as any bump I’ve ever seen.  SOMEHOW, and I mean that literally, Taker isn’t dead.  Shawn does a semi-heel turn and tries to get the count out win.  To be fair though that might be better for Taker’s health at this point.

Taker BARELY makes it back in at nine and a half.  I was actually thinking it was over there.  There are those dueling chants again.  Superkick is caught by a BIG old chokeslam for two as the crowd explodes.  Tombstone, superkick, chokeslam.  All of those were countered in a row but Shawn gets a BIG superkick for two.  Sweet goodness I’d have bet on that one.

Shawn’s ticked off face is great.  Taker grabs him by the throat and goes for the Last Ride but Shawn gets a sunset flip.  Taker grabs him again and is like boy you’re getting drilled and hits a HUGE Last Ride for TWO.  Wow these kickouts are incredible.  Taker goes up and misses an elbow as both guys are down again.

Shawn is sent over the top but Skins the Cat.  Taker catches him AGAIN in the Tombstone and Shawn is DEAD.  Apparently DEAD doesn’t mean three though as Shawn kicks out AGAIN.  This is incredible.  Taker’s face is like NO FREAKING WAY.  Shawn counters another Tombstone attempt with a spinning DDT of all things.

Michaels somehow gets up to the top rope and hits the big elbow but both guys are down again.  Sweet Chin Music out of NOWHERE gets two.  Well of course it did.  With nothing else left from either guy they slug it out from their knees.  Shawn chops away but Taker kicks him in the face to put him down.

Tombstone is countered AGAIN and Shawn gets a boot into the jaw of Taker in the corner to buy himself some time.  Shawn goes up for a moonsault press but Taker somehow catches him and Tombstones him to death to FINALLY end this.  In-freaking-credible.  Absolutely amazing stuff and it WINS.
Rating: A+. Wrestlemania has been saved. Future edit: no it hasn’t.  Go watch this match right now as it’s the best match I have ever seen.

Draft is coming in 8 days. I’m shaking after watching that. Never before have I been on the edge of my seat for a match.

World Heavyweight Championship: Edge vs. John Cena vs. Big Show

Standard recap leading to Edge and Show coming out first. Cena’s old rap song comes on and an army of John Cenas come out. There must be 80 or so of them. They all do You Can’t See Me and then Cena’s music hits. Pretty cool visual. We get the big match indroduction which I always love. Cena gets a decent pop with boos mixed in.

Edge is champion coming in here.  We head into the triple threat formula almost immediately with various people being knocked out for awhile each.  That’s fine but it gets rather repetitive.  About five minutes pass with nothing but various one on one combinations.  That’s not terribly interesting but it’s what we’ve come to expect in these things.

Cena hits his top rope Fameasser off the top rope and down goes Show.  Off to Edge vs. Cena as I doubt Show will be in there for awhile.  Edgecution gets two.  More weak stuff here as Show is in faster than I expected him to be here.  Chavo of all people runs out to save Show and takes an FU for his troubles.

Show gets tied up in the ropes and loudly shouts GET ME OUT OF HERE!  Cena goes off on Edge as the fans aren’t really liking him.  Five Knuckle Shuffle to Edge.  Vickie gets up to save Edge but winds up getting speared onto Chavo.  Both guys go down and Show is still stuck.  Ah there he’s out.

Show goes off on them and manages to chokeslam Edge.  FU attempt on Show but he gets out and drills Cena with the punch.  Loud THANK YOU BIG SHOW chant from that.  Edge gets a running spear through Show through the barricade.  Back in the ring Cena counters the spear into the STFU.

Finally Show comes in for the save as this is actually pretty good.  Back to Show vs. Edge for awhile as JR runs through Show’s measurements again.  Show misses a Vader Bomb and here comes Cena again.  The two non-monsters suplex Show in an always cool looking spot.

Everyone trades some more finishers and Edge gets a spear for two on Cena.  Here’s your HOLY FREAKING CRAP spot of the match as Edge jumps on Show’s back with a sleeper so Cena is like screw it and picks up BOTH OF THEM AT ONCE IN THE FU!  Edge falls off and Show takes the FU.  Cena hits one on Edge onto Show for the pin and the title.  Freaking sweetness.

Rating: B-. This was better than people gave it credit for. This wasn’t supposed to be the great and mighty be all end all title match and it wasn’t. It was a way to get the title onto Cena and make him look strong. It wasn’t bad and it accomplished its purpose. I liked it, but man this would have been better if it was three matches earlier.

WM 26 is in Phoenix.

HOF Ceremony. Austin drives his ATV around and has a mini beer bash to kill time. I have no problem with this at all. It was needed to give the fans a breather and it’s not like Austin doesn’t deserve it.

Attendance is announced, but not called a record as we kill off even more time.

Massive recap video beforehand which kills the time so dead it’s scary.  They’ve hated each other since Evolution, Orton is nuts and kissed Stephanie, HHH snapped, Orton faked being insane, HHH can’t disqualified or he loses the title.
WWE Title: Randy Orton vs. HHH

In the back, HHH passes both McMahons. Orton’s entrance literally goes on nearly two and a half minutes. There’s no special ordeal or anything. He’s just walking really, really slowly. HHH’s intro is long but not as long. We get BMI. Orton gets an RKO inside of two minutes but goes for the Punt and misses. HHH is up in about a minute and hits the Pedigree. What in the world is going on here?

And remember, HHH can’t get disqualified in a match based on hate.  This is going so slow that it’s painful.  They’re moving like molasses out there for crying out loud (as I quote my inner Hayden Panitierre from Remember the Titans).  HHH has a bad shoulder now.  Orton takes over for a good while as he works on the arm.

I like the pace of this match as it’s very slow but more violent. That’s what this is supposed to be. You’re supposed to have a guy that’s completely insane and a guy that’s desperate to defend his wife’s honor. Would you expect guys to be using Greco-Roman style here?

I like the brawling stuff. Wait for it…wait for it…YES! We get an Orton chinlock! All is right with the world! This is a more physical style and while it’s not great, it’s also not awful. This match isn’t really building to anything though.  Ok I’m thinking I’m changing my mind on the pacing thing.  This needs to be FAR more brutal given the story backing it up.  It’s similar to Kane/Undertaker at Mania 14 where they were supposed to be in a war and just weren’t at all.

Orton takes him down with the backbreaker for two.  I love that dropkick that Orton has.  HHH FINALLY sends Orton to the floor to break the very long stretch of momentum he’s had.  On the floor HHH keeps teasing various weapons shots but won’t do them because of the title thing.  He sets for the Pedigree but Orton backdrops him through the announce table.

Elevated DDT hits on the floor and HHH is more or less done.  He beats the count of course and Orton mixes up his offense with various types of stomps.  Orton catches HHH coming of the top rope (WTF???) with a sick dropkick. Ref goes down and Orton hits an RKO. He gets the sledge but gets kicked leading to him getting punched beyond all reasonable measure. Pedigree and Orton is dead. Fireworks and we’re out. Well, that sums up the whole show.

Rating: F+. The ending was just a total letdown. Forget a good pace. This was a complete waste of time and had nothing good to offer at all. The ending is HHH’s revenge for his recent losses. Terrible way to close it out, absolutely terrible. Never in my life have I seen someone with a bigger ego. There is absolutely no reason whatsoever here for HHH to go over. Not a single one.

Orton was pushed to the moon recently and he gets nothing for it? Likely he’ll get the belt at Backlash or something, but this was a waste. Any credibility he has is killed. That was awful and I don’t want to see even the letter that comes after G for a long, long time. Horrible.

It’s the same issue that many recent Mania main events have had: it’s not a bad match, but there’s nothing mind blowing. It’s like they’re in safe mode or something. Orton catches HHH coming of the top rope (WTF???) with a sick dropkick. Ref goes down and Orton hits an RKO. He gets the sledge but gets kicked leading to him getting punched beyond all reasonable measure. Pedigree and Orton is dead. Fireworks and we’re out. Well, that sums up the whole show.
Overall Rating: D. This show had one good match in it. That’s all. You have a decent opener so that was ok. Then the Women’s match was absolutely a disgrace. Never in my life have I seen a dumber thing. Seriously, we get a ten minute concert of all things and then you don’t even see the older divas, in a match for NOSTALGIA get introduced? My goodness that’s a joke. Plain and simple, that was pathetic.

That was to get a weak comedy act in when it could have been something very cool. Austin could come out at the end but not come out to beat up Jericho? That would have saved that whole thing. Hardys match was just ok. Not great but could have been worse by far. IC Title was to get to JBL quitting so I don’t even call that a match. Then we have the one match: Taker and HBK was an absolute classic, hands down.

Maybe not the best ever as Steamboat and Savage was almost too incredible to ever be passed, but this was by far the best match in many years. After that, the three way was ok and the main event was just a waste.

Overall, watch Taker and HBK and if you’re out of other good matches to watch, check out MITB and the Triple Threat. Other than that, avoid this show. Is it the worst Mania of all time? It’s not due to HBK/Taker, but that’s literally the only thing keeping it ahead of 2 and 9. Terrible show.




Smackdown – April 1, 2011 – WWE Enters Infomercials

Smackdown
Date: April 1, 2011
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

This is the final show before the big one and from what I understand it’s mainly a highlight show which is fine.  There were some matches taped at Raw so at least we’ll get some original content.  Expect a lot of “we see so and so from Raw” on here tonight but that’s all well and good for a show like this.  Let’s get to it.

Theme some opens us up.  For once I have to watch this live as there was no pre-air.

Intercontinental Title: Wade Barrett vs. Kofi Kingston

 

Wade looks good with the title.  Kofi charges straight at him which gets him nowhere as Barrett kicks him to the floor and takes over.  Back in the ring a pumphandle slam gets two.  Barrett channels his inner Chris Hero and locks on a Cravate but rams Kofi’s head into Barrett’s knee as he does it for some added punishment.

Kofi comes back with kicks and strikes plus that great dropkick for two.  SOS doesn’t work.  There are water stains in the ring which must be from something I’ve forgotten about from Raw.  Top rope cross body gets two and here’s the Boom Drop.  Trouble in Paradise runs into a big boot as Booker rambles about Kofi wasting time.  Wasteland doesn’t work and there’s Trouble in Paradise out of nowhere, but there’s Corre for the DQ at 3:57.

Rating: C-. Match wasn’t anything of note at all for the most part and even while it was good we were all just waiting for Corre to come out for the ending.  Not much of a match and the Corre formula is getting very old very quickly.  They’re a terribly boring stable even with a lot of gold like they have.

The beatdown begins until Santino/Kozlov come out to get beaten down also.  Show and Kane come out for the real save.  Kofi has nothing to do at Mania at all does he?

We recap last week with Cody jumping Rey and trying to hurt him.

Striker is with Cody who is in the shadows with a towel over his head.  Cody says that he’s a very bitter man that doesn’t even want to look in the mirror anymore.  This is a rather serious promo and it comes off pretty well.  Cody says that on Sunday Rey has to contend with this, revealing his mask, and this, holding up the knee brace.  Good stuff, but then again I like Cody.

Back and we get clips from Axxess where we have Todd and the Bellas.  There are areas such as Hornswoggle’s house under the ring and Vince’s destroyed limo.  The Bellas brag a bit and it sounds like a CM Punk chant in the background.

We get a recap of Taker vs. HHH, as in the same one from Raw with the song.  Later tonight we’ll see the staredown from Raw.  The video really is good.

We recap Orton vs. Punk which had a great build and then it just fell apart.  The continuity was a nice touch but they kind of lost the flare with the Nexus guys getting destroyed over and over.  At least it’s one on one at the PPV.

There’s an exhibit at Axxess where you can emulate various wrestlers’ entrances.

We talk about Shawn getting into the Hall of Fame a bit and then get a video about the LOD from Raw.  Dang right they should be in the Hall of Fame.

We get the entire Swagger vs. Lawler match from Monday which I’ll throw in the recap from my Raw review in order to fill in some space here.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jack Swagger

 

Lawler has different music here.  Cole pops up on the apron and gets down just before Lawler hits him.  Swagger takes over and a Vader Bomb crushes him.  Out to the floor and Jerry is thrown into the time keeper’s area.  Lawler gets a right hand in and pops Swagger with a chair for the DQ at 1:20.  That’s really the only ending they could go with here.  Lawler goes after Cole but the security holds him back as Jerry tries to get in through the top of the box.  Cole throws his drink at him and Jerry backs off.

Back on Smackdown now, even though I’d assume this was taped before the segment we just recapped occurred, with Jerry Lawler coming out to address Cole.  Lawler talks about Cole making fun of his mother, his father and bringing his son out to insult Jerry.  Cole left before Lawler came out here.  Jerry says that if Cole was here, neither would make it to Wrestlemania.  Austin is going to cancel out Swagger on Sunday and it’s just the two of them.  On Sunday Lawler is going to do what every fan wants him to do: shut Cole’s mouth.

We get a video from the Mania press conference which had a lot of mainstream press.  Allegedly Cena was booed to the point of tears which is saying a lot.  Snooki looks like some kind of Xena Warrior Elf.

At Axxess you can see Austin’s ATV and Taker’s graveyard, which would be awesome if Axxess hadn’t already happened.  Just to tease us in the background you can see Santino/Kozlov about to face the Usos live at Axxess.  Clearly we can’t watch that though right?  Wow did I really just ask to see Santino/Kozlov vs. the Usos?  I must be bored.

We reair the Shawn/Taker/HHH thing from Monday.  I’ve commented on it twice already so I’ve got nothing here.  Eats up about 15 minutes.

Video of the Miz on Conan which really was funny.  Coco is officially the Ginja Ninja with the catchphrase of “Step into my dojo mofo.”  Miz is hilarious when he’s allowed to just be himself.

Sin Cara is coming.

There’s a booth at Axxess with the old WWF/E title and some autographed stuff.  Trish has her own fashion booth which just makes me want to see her in them rather than on mannequins.

Time to talk about Trish/Snooki.  Oh joy.  Since all of the segments have been short, we see all of them involving Snooki.

We recap Del Rio vs. Edge which is more or less running down the history of Alberto who somehow only debuted in the fall.

Cody Rhodes vs. Chris Masters

 

Here’s your last match before Wrestlemania people.  Cherish it.  Cody has a new dark version of Smoke and Mirrors which is pretty awesome sounding.  Cody goes straight at him which gets him nowhere.  Cole comes out during the match as Cody hits the Beautiful Disaster to take over.  Mad heat on Cole which I don’t think is legit.  Cody gets a crossface chickenwing (what is up with people using that recently?) and calls some spots.  Masters gets a Samoan Drop but can’t get the Master Lock.  Cross Rhodes ends this at 2:10.  Just a squash.

Rey runs out but can’t get 619.  Cody avoids it again with the second time seeing Rey expose the knee brace.  Here lies Cody Rhodes: the latest awesome character to be sacrificed to the King of Mystery.  You know it’s coming.

We talk about Jericho on Dancing with the Stars with Matthews saying Jericho won the Undisputed Title at Wrestlemania.  Are they altering THAT now too?

Cena’s cars are at Axxess and some of them are one of a kind.

Naturally the last part of the show is reairing Rock and Cena with Miz on the side from Raw.  I can’t get over the fact that the Attitude Adjustment actually happened.  I’m pulling for Miz on Sunday, just to hear his promo the next night.  Cena leaves Rock laying to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Now I know what you’re thinking: this was supposed to be a preview of Mania.  Well that’s true.  However, WWE has a roster of like 60 people.  A TON of them won’t be on Mania and yet we couldn’t see any of them here?  I have no desire to look at Axxess stuff for an hour and a half, see a 4 minute IC Title match and a squash.  Throw Tatsu out there or something.  I’m not saying make it Superstars, but you couldn’t find ten more minutes of wrestling without airing EVERYTHING from the past month?  I get the point of this, but I still don’t like it in the slightest really.




History of Wrestlemania with KB – Wrestlemania 24 – Let’s Go Outside

Wrestlemania 24
Date: March 30, 2008
Location: Citrus Bowl, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 74,365
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman, Joey Styles, Taz
America The Beautiful: John Legend

Since this Mania is just over a year old, I’m going to assume that most of you already know the main ideas behind it. Your truly big match here was Ric Flair in what was known would be his last match vs. Shawn Michaels. Without a doubt to me, this should have closed the show. World Titles aside, neither match is going to be as emotional as this. Flair was offered the chance to close the show and said absolutely not which I can admire.

Your other big feuds coming into this were Orton vs. HHH vs. Cena and Edge vs. Undertaker. There was also a match between boxer Floyd “Money” Mayweather and Big Show which still boggles my mind to this day. I’ve heard some great and some bad reviews for this, so I guess we’ll have to see how well it holds up a year later.

We get a recap kind of telling us how the entire year has gone which is kind of a cool thing that would help a lot if it was a permanent thing. The open stadium concept is truly awesome and looks great. They have kind of a dome over the ring to keep the rain out which is also smart of them. After America The Beautiful, it’s time for our first match.

JBL vs. Finlay

This is a Belfast Brawl, meaning no DQ I suppose. This match/feud stems from the most absurd storyline I can ever recall as Vince had his illegitimate son Hornswoggle face him in a cage match. Vince beat him up with a belt as Finlay came in for the save. JBL then cuffed Finlay to the cage and beat up Horny.

I remember this buildup being quite good but looking back at it now, I can’t believe I actually thought this was good. Seriously, they’re fighting over a freaking midget. Then we get the DRAMATIC reveal that Horny was Finlay’s song all along. REALLY??? The tiny leprechaun that hangs out with the Irishman who is the only person on the planet that cares about him is his father? I’m stunned.

They start on the floor and the bell hasn’t actually rung yet.  Ok so it’s one of those kind of fights.  JBL gets a big shot with a trashcan and Finlay is in trouble early on.  JBL had lost a ton of weight and actually looked fairly lean by this point.  After he takes forever to get some stairs into the ring his Piledriver on them fails though and here comes the older dude.

Nothing all that special here as it’s back and forth but intense for the most part.  Well as intense as this match could be that is.  Both guys control for awhile and then get hit by something to break the momentum.  Is it bad that seeing Horny all scared and nervous makes me laugh and smile?

Finlay busts out a table as JR tries to make this seem all serious and such.  It’s set up in the corner as I’m getting into this far more than I should.  DOWN GOES THE MIDGET!  Finlay goes the heck off on him with trashcan lids and JBL is more or less done on the floor.  A suicide dive eats lid though and Finlay is in trouble all over again.

More going off follows as the crowd is into this.  I’m not sure why but this is actually working pretty freaking well.  It’s not a great match or anything but it’s very fun.  JBL finally goes through the table for a LONG two.  Finlay comes at him with stairs but JBL gets a kendo stick shot into the knee.  The Clothesline From JBL ends it though.  Fun match.

Rating: C+. If there has ever been a match where the term “fine for what it was” is appropriate, this is it. This match was designed to get the crowd going a bit and not be anything serious and that’s exactly what they went out and did. Nothing bad here at all but nothing to go out of your way to see. Run of the mill hardcore match but rather fun, and that’s all fine and good.

Kennedy says he’s going to repeat as MITB.  Kim Kardashian did the interviews at this show so at least we have something nice to look at.

Money in the Bank: Shelton Benjamin vs. Carlito vs. Chris Jericho vs. John Morrison vs. CM Punk vs. MVP vs. Mr. Kennedy

 

You know the drill by now I’m sure.  It’s weird to see Morrison as a heel.  Morrison is a tag champion, MVP is US Champion and Jericho is IC Champion here.  Nice to see the titles being treated so well here.  I wouldn’t expect to see much in the area of play by play here as it’s way too much to call move for move.

Everyone not named MVP runs out to grab a ladder so he steals Kennedy’s when it comes into the ring.  He and Jericho have a joust with them with the Canadian winning.  Morrison grabs a ladder and puts it perpendicular to himself.  He then climbs to the top and moonsaults while still holding the ladder to take out just about everyone!  Sweet looking stuff!

Kennedy and Jericho are left in the ring with Jericho launching Kennedy into a ladder.  Kennedy is like screw that and holds on before scurrying up.  Morrison rides a ladder from the corner onto the middle ladder to stop Kennedy in an awesome spot.  Kennedy sets for a suplex but Shelton jumps over Kennedy in a sunset powerbomb which pulls Morrison over too in a Tower of Doom spot.  This is all in less than four minutes mind you.

With everyone more or less dead Punk goes up but just kind of stops so Shelton can make the save.  GTS to Shelton and Punk goes up again.  Carlito makes the save as I forgot he was even in this at all.  There’s a ladder between the ring and the railing which makes me think nothing is going to go well for the ladder.

And I’m right as Shelton almost makes it up there but gets the whole ladder shoved over and flips onto the bridged ladder, breaking it in the middle.  Morrison almost makes it but gets caught in the Walls by Jericho in a spot he and Benoit did at the 01 Rumble.  Now Kennedy comes up so Punk has to springboard up.  Carlito enacts Puerto Rican Affirmative Action and gets up as well, giving us five guys on two ladders.

Naturally they all fall down and leave Jericho there but Carlito saves it.  Total spotfest so far.  Backstabber off the ladder to Jericho and everyone is dead until MVP gets his wits about him.  With no one in sight, Matt Freaking Hardy runs through the crowd and gets a Twist of Fate off the top to save the match.  MVP had hurt Matt a few months ago.

Morrison is under a ladder in the corner and Jericho wedges the top of another into the rungs of the one in the corner, kind of making a big V shape.  Morrison shoves the original one forward which allows him to be able to climb the ladder without having to have it open due to the wedge design.  This is awesome stuff.  Naturally Morrison gets crotched on the top but it’s still cool looking.

Jericho goes up again but Carlito spits apple at him instead.  Kennedy drills him and shoves him off but Punk drills Kennedy.  Jericho pops up again and hits the Codebreaker with a ladder to take out Punk.  Punk more or less no sells it though and climbs up to stop Jericho as everyone else is pretty much dead.  Punk knocks Jericho down into the Tree of Woe and grabs the case to win it.  Total war the whole way through.
Rating: B. It was a wild brawl, but we just got done with a wild brawl.  This was solid and the backflip ladder spot was sweet looking. Other than Matt returning though, there’s not much to hate. This was Jeff Hardy’s to win before he got wellnessed out of it. Another fun match and one of the best MITB matches ever as it was a total spotfest the whole way, which it’s supposed to be.

Hall of Fame Ceremony.  This is Flair’s class, but he’s in the back getting ready so his kids accept it. The only ones that truly belong in to me are Flair, Solie, and the Briscos.

HHH is ready.
Snoop Dog is here. He sends Festus after Santino in a dumb segment.

Batista vs. Umaga

This is the Brand Supremacy match that was thrown together because there was nothing for either of these guys.  I really wouldn’t expect this to be anything resembling good.  Power match to start us off as you would of course expect.  The GMs, Teddy and Regal, are here also.  Umaga gets a spinwheel kick to take down Batista and take over.

A big boot sends the Animal to the floor.  There’s the nerve hold as it’s all Umaga here.  Middle rope headbutt misses though and here comes the Animal again.  And so much for that as we hit the nerve hold again.  This is rivetingly bad if that wasn’t clear.  Samoan Drop mostly ends Batista so of course it only gets two.

Batista gets a quick comeback and so much for that as it’s over already.  Samoan Spike is blocked though and Umaga’s head eats post.  Spinebuster puts him down and the Batista Bomb ends it clean.  WOW.  That might be the least interesting match I have ever seen, which is saying a lot.
Rating: F+. These two had no chemistry together at all and it showed badly. This match was a waste as you had a multi-time world champion against a top mid carder. These brand supremacy things are rarely good and this was no exception. The other stupid part was Batista went to Raw a few weeks later.  Totally bad match and I have no idea what they were going for here, but it didn’t work at all.

Mayweather vs. Show is anything goes and you can win by knockout.

Mayweather and company are here.
ECW Title-Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero

Kane won a battle royal before the show started to get this shot. By the time I was done typing that previous sentence the match ends. Here’s your match: bell rings, Kane chokeslams Chavo, pinfall.

Rating: N/A. There’s no match here so I can’t rate it, but this was exactly what was needed. Kane absolutely dominated here and it made him look like a monster. Well done actually.

Painfully bad Mania promo for the show that is already on.
Raven Simone does something for Make-A-Wish. Can’t stand her but it’s a cool charity.
Note: the following was written BEFORE Flair signed in TNA and before he came back to WWE in 2009.

And here it is. This is the match that defines this Wrestlemania. Many people, including myself, feel that this should have been the final match of the night. We knew that Flair was going to lose, but it’s the pure symbolism of the match that’s important. Many people have this match because it’s “an old man that should have retired 10 years ago.”

To them I have one thing to say: get  over yourselves. Ric Flair was the man that drove the NWA and WCW through the roof in the 1980s. Without him, Sting, Luger and the Horsemen, and therefore DX, the NWO and the Monday Night Wars don’t happen.

Ric Flair means more to this business than all but a very few and if he wants to wrestle until he falls apart then so be it. When anyone, and I mean ANYONE, can last in the business at a high level for as long as he has, let me know. I’ll be at my wedding to Trish Stratus.

Some people like to talk about how Flair needed to hang it up. Maybe those people need to SHUT it up and let the man do what he wants. Vince didn’t let him go did he? I’m willing to go out on a short limb and say Vince has forgotten more about wrestling than any of us will ever know, so get off your high smarky horses.

As for the other participant in this match, Shawn Michaels may not have been the perfect choice here, but I don’t have a problem with it being him at all. So what if he and Flair are friends in real life? It’s Flair’s last match and if he wants to go out to Shawn, then blast it he should be able to go out to Shawn. Shawn puts on his best this time of year so why should this be any different?
Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels

The intros for both guys are of course great.  You can tell the fans and the entire world knows that Flair is losing here but that’s fine here much like it can be at other times.  We exchange hammerlocks to start and no one can get an extended advantage.  They shove each other and Flair shouts OLD YELLER HUH?

Flair might have bitten his lip or something as it’s busted open a tiny bit.  Shawn goes up but gets slammed off in a nice little touch.  Flair goes up and GETS A CROSS BODY for two.  That was kind of awesome.  Old men flying through the air is cool for some reason.  Baseball slide takes down Flair again though Shawn misses an Asai Moonsault and slams into the table, possibly legitimately injuring his ribs.

A nearly perfect suplex gets two for Flair as he’s hitting everything perfectly here.  Remember if he loses he has to retire so they’re playing up the fight for survival deal here and it’s working for the most part I think.  Shawn gets a neckbreaker to come back and hits a moonsault off the top to the floor to leave both guys laying.  When I say hits I mean Flair sticks an arm out which slows Shawn down a bit mind you.

Forearm sets up the nipup and here comes Shawn despite not really being in trouble for the most part.  There’s the elbow and Shawn sets for the superkick but can’t do it.  Flair is like ok then and double scoops the legs to throw on the Figure Four.  Flair has aged about ten years in this match so far.  The rope is grabbed soon and we go to the backslide sequence that Flair has done a million times.  That being said, Flair can’t really do it due to his age.  That’s rather sad.

Flair goes back to the knee and now we get the REAL Figure Four.  I guess the other was just a preview edition.  Shawn reverses though into a cradle for two.  Enziguri misses and THERE is the Figure Four.  A rope is grabbed again but this time more damage is done here.  However Flair does one WOO too many and gets drilled by the kick for two as Shawn couldn’t cover immediately.

Shawn sets for the kick again but Flair gets a low blow which brings a nice little smile to my face.  That only gets two though as this is fairly solid stuff.  Shawn gets his disfigured figure four on but like Flair is going to lose to that.  He’s Shawn Michaels, not Jay Lethal.  A rollup get two for Flair and they chop it out.  Shawn is like screw it and kicks his head off.  Flair gets up again, and although Shawn is sorry and he loves Flair, the third superkick ends Flair’s career.  Well for about a year or so at least.

Rating: A. As I said, this wasn’t about the match. This was about saying goodbye to one of the greatest performers of all time. That night, the titles weren’t important, the atmosphere wasn’t important, and the show wasn’t important. This night was about Ric Flair saying goodbye to being an in ring competitor.

Should this match have gone on last? Yes I think that it should have. Nothing, and I mean nothing, was as important to the industry as the moment when his final match ended. It was a sad day, as Flair didn’t get to go out on his own terms completely, but at least he went out on the biggest stage in the world.

As for the match, it’s not nearly as bad as people make it out to be. Yes, some spots are blown. Yes, we knew what was going to happen. Some find “I’m sorry, I love you” to be corny. That’s fine that you think that way, but this match almost had me in tears all over again.

It’s so sad to see Ric Flair having reached the point where he can’t bridge up for a backslide anymore. This man was once the greatest performer in the entire world and now he can’t do a simple reversal spot. He broke out all of his old classics including the cross body block that made him famous by giving him the world title at the first ever Starrcade. This match isn’t great from a wrestling perspective but it’s more than that. This match is about the end of an era.

Flair gets a big sad moment but the real one would come tomorrow.
Edge says the Streak ends tonight.

So who gets to follow that match? I hate to say it but whoever they are, their match is going to go down a letter grade or so as it’s simply not going to be easy to touch what just happened.

Beth Phoenix/Melina vs. Maria/Ashley

Oh screw it. I was going to try to be nice to whatever came next and I get “bunnymania”? Well crud. This is a lumberjill match, hosted by Snoop Dog in a pitiful attempt to bring celebrity status to this show. He’s driving something that looks like a golf cart that looks stupid.  Santino is here to annoy all of us again as he helps the heels cheat to win.

Well at least Maria looks good.  Actually only Ashley doesn’t here.  Beth has to sell for this Ashley pest which makes my head hurt quite a bit.  Snoop is so stoned he can’t stop smiling.  Sweet merciful crap make this end already.  Total time in before my head hurts: 34 seconds.  Well I lasted longer than I thought I could.

The girls on the floor waste their usual time and no one cares at all.  Maria saves Ashley.  You can see the issue here with her being the better worker of the team.  And there go the lights.  Yeah you can’t see anything at all for about a minute or so.  Ah there’s a spotlight.  Well that helps a little I guess.

Glam Slam is blocked and we get some heel miscommunication.  The lumberjacks get involved again and Maria gets two on Beth.  Here’s Santino but   Lawler attacks him which led to nothing of note. Beth pins Maria after Musclebuster. Snoop attacks Santino and kisses Maria, somehow making me less interested than I was when this started.  This led to Glamarella if you’re interested for some reason.

Rating: F. Another waste of time in a bad match. How long is it going to take for the WWE to realize something: someone that is willing to be in a magazine doesn’t mean they can wrestle. The teams should have been switched so Melina can face Beth, as both can actually work. The lights went out during this match, as God himself is showing that he doesn’t care, and neither did I. Such a waste of time.

Recap of the Raw World Title match.  Orton was champion, Cena got in by winning the Rumble and challenging Orton at No Way Out but Orton got intentionally DQed, and HHH is in because he won the Elimination Chamber that same night. I have never once liked three way matches for world titles at Mania.

The idea is supposed to be one on one for the heavyweight championship of the world, not three guys with false finish after false finish. I am however glad that this isn’t the main event of the night. It wasn’t the biggest match of the night and it wasn’t billed as such.
Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. John Cena vs. HHH

Cena gets a full marching band entrance here.  That’s rather awesome.  Everyone goes after each other to start and we’re on the floor already.  FU attempt on Orton almost immediately but he gets nowhere with it as HHH apparently fears Cena as he’d rather save Orton than get rid of him.  You can tell Cena isn’t taking this seriously: he isn’t in his black jeans.

Orton gets both guys down and covers both of them multiple times which gets him nowhere.  He keeps up the advantage though by slowly, and I do mean SLOWLY stomping both guys.  Wouldn’t he give them more time to recover by taking so much time like that?  Couldn’t he do better by stomping their heads the whole time?  Double elevated DDT and our heroes are in trouble!

Cena comes back and hits the Throwback to HHH and the Fameasser to Orton but Orton manages to send Cena into the post on the floor to buy himself some time.  Back to Hunter vs. Randall now.  HHH works the knee but Cena comes in to distract him.  Once John goes down the RKO takes down HHH.

Cena saves of course and the STFU to Orton has him in trouble.  This is going by FAST.  Cena tells him to tap but Orton doesn’t listen.  I guess Cena isn’t one of the voices in his head.  Back with HHH now as he hooks a freaking Indian Deathlock on Orton.  WOW he’s busting out the way old stuff here.  HHH back to the floor thanks to Cena and there’s the STFU again.

HHH literally comes in to pull Cena’s arms off of Cena.  I guess HHH wants to cuddle him.  He throws a Crossface on Cena for fun.  I know he wants the title but I didn’t think he wanted to kill him.  The fans are all over Cena here and it’s kind of funny to see.  Boo/Yay thing with the punches and here comes Cena.

He initiates the ending sequence on HHH and sets for the FU but gets taken down by a clothesline.  Pedigree and STFU are reversed but a facebuster and clothesline set up the spinebuster which sets up the Pedigree.  Orton Punts HHH out of nowhere and climbs on Cena for the pin to retain.  Nice little ending there.
Rating: C+. It’s ok and that’s all. Like I said, there’s nothing special here whatsoever. It’s not a bad match but it’s just ok. There was nothing Mania-like here at all. It was three men in a standard formula match. Why should I get emotionally invested into this match? There was no reason for me to and simply put, I didn’t.

We recap the boxer vs. wrestler thing.   Okay, this feud has been over and done with for a solid year and there’s one thing I’d still like to know: WHO IN THE WORLD WAS THE FACE SUPPOSED TO BE??? This feud was ridiculous.

In case you don’t know, Big Show returned at No Way Out and got in the face of a really good boxer named Floyd “Money” Mayweather, who legitimately broke his nose with a punch. This led to a feud between the two, culminating in this match.

Over the course of the 5-6 weeks, we got terrible promos from Mayweather and Show and it was never once made clear who the face was. Should we cheer for the underdog that is an outsider or for the monster that looks like a bully? That was never answered which is a problem.
Floyd Mayweather vs. Big Show

Mayweather does the whole raining money deal.  Naturally Floyd has gloves on.  Mayweather dodges a lot and that gets him nowhere as we’re more or less just killing time for awhile.  Floyd throws punches which don’t do much.  This is going NOWHERE.  Out of boredom, Show beats up one of Floyd’s posse.

Show grabs Mayweather’s hand and tries to step on it which doesn’t work.  This is about 85% standing around and “jockeying for position”.  Show almost gets a chokeslam but Floyd gets on his back for a choke.  After nearly a minute and a half of this, Show flips him over and steps on his hands to send Floyd’s posse into a frenzy.

Big chop by Show in the corner as the posse shouts that Show can’t do various things, such as stand on his chest.  I hate this match very deeply at the moment.  Them shouting THIS IS FOR YOUR KIDS when Mayweather has like 50 million dollars makes me sick.  He has money.  I don’t want to hear about how he’s doing this for his kids.  If they can’t survive off the paychecks he makes already, there’s a major problem.

Show hurts him a lot and drops an elbow.  This is AWFUL.  The posse pulls him out, Show goes to get him, he beats up the posse, the posse tries to give Floyd a chair, Show beats that guy up again, Mayweather pops Show with the chair and a shot with brass knuckles ends this via knockout, FINALLY.
Rating: D-. This was a mess. These things rarely work and this was following the norm of not working. Mayweather is simply too small to get this to work. He stands 5’8 and while he’s a great boxer, no one honestly believed that he could beat Show.

There’s no way to make this work: if Mayweather wins, Big Show looks weak. If Show wins, he beat a tiny man at Show’s own game on his turf. Either way there’s no way to make this work and they didn’t have one.

The other thing that’s a problem is that Mayweather has no business wrestling. He’s a puncher, but even with that there’s no way to believe that he has a chance here. They tried to make this look competitive, but the crowd was completely behind Mayweather for the simple reason of he’s average sized and Big Show is……well he’s BIG.  This did not do it for me at all.

There’s a new attendance record.

Taker gets this title shot from winning the Rumble.  That’s all you need to know.
Smackdown Title: Edge vs. Undertaker

Edge brings out Vickie in the wheelchair.  Taker’s entrance remains completely awesome.  He came out first which is odd yet traditional.  What an odd thing to see.  Edge is a four time champion here, meaning he’s won a world title every six months since then.  Keeping in mind that he hasn’t had one since April of 2009, that says a lot.

Very basic stuff to start as we’re not going anywhere so far.  Old School is countered but Taker shifts around in mid air into an arm drag.  It gets NO reaction.  That’s saying a lot as no one cares after something I don’t remember seeing before.  Taker gets a running knee to the head and goes over the top in a nice looking move.  Taker may have hurt his arm though.

Edge takes over and almost gets a countout.  He goes up and gets caught like any good heel and here comes the Deadman.  VERY slow pace so far as each short sequence they’re doing is taking 2-3 minutes each.  Lash Ride won’t work as Taker’s back is messed up from various attacks by the evil Canadian.  Edge drops Taker’s back over the railing and the Deadman is in trouble.

In the ring again and Edge throws on a half crab as a joke I suppose.  Much like everything else in this match, that goes on for two minutes.  They slug it out and take a guess who wins that.  They FINALLY speed things up a bit as the chokeslam is countered into the Edgecution for two.  Spear is avoided and the chokeslam gets two.

Old School is blocked AGAIN for two as Edge pounds away in the corner like an IDIOT.  Last Ride is countered into a neckbreaker for two.  Taker calls for the Tombstone but Edge counters AGAIN into the Edge-O-Matic for two.  The third Old School hits and Edge is in trouble again.  And there goes the referee to a big boot.  Ok where are the cronies?

Low blow takes down the Deadman as does a camera shot but there’s still no referee.  Like an idiot, Edge goes for a Tombstone and is reversed but there’s no referee.  Charles Robinson runs down to count two.  I don’t think you can count that as Edge doing the same as Batista and Shawn kicking out of all the finishers though so we won’t do it.

Ah I was right.  Here are Curt Hawkins and Zach Ryder (shut up about him being in the Mania main event) and never mind as a double chokeslam gets rid of them.  Spear from nowhere gets two and the fans are into it now.  Edge sets for another spear but runs into the whatever that thing is called for the chokeout and submission.

Rating: A-. There’s just something missing from this match and I just can’t place it. All the elements are there as Edge and Taker are both well established main event players, the Streak is on the line and Taker gets a world title at Mania like he should, but there’s just something missing from it. Maybe it’s that these matches were done better later in the year. Either way, it’s certainly good, but not a masterpiece.

Overall Rating: C-. There’s a lot of good stuff here, but there’s only one truly good match. Yet again the tradition of messing things up with the Brand Split comes into play as the best match doesn’t go on last. This show should have been about Ric Flair, not a world title. Not many people can get that honor but it should have happened here.

At the end of the day, no one cared about what happened in the two title matches, or any other match for that matter. Flair going on in the middle of the show hurts it a lot. Other than him, there’s nothing noteworthy here to me at all. The show isn’t bad, but it’s hardly memorable. Mild recommendation but don’t go out of your way for it.




Wrestlemania is this Sunday

Any general thoughts/predictions going into the show?




History of Wrestlemania with KB – Wrestlemania 23 – Over 80,000 People.

Wrestlemania 23
Date: April 1, 2007
Location: Ford Field, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 80,103
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
America The Beautiful: Aretha Franklin

After reading the card, the idea that I get is there are a lot of similarities between this year’s show and last year’s. The show is pretty packed, there’s adequate filler, the titles are defended, it’s got a huge crowd (second biggest ever) and it looks like a big show. However, as I remember it, it just doesn’t feel like a great Mania. I have reasons for thinking that which I’ll get into at the end, but for now let’s just see how this goes. Your main difference here is that ECW is now a part of the WWE.

After the standard Mania opening video package which is well done here, complete with someone is a dead ringer for James Earl Jones’ voice, JR and Lawler welcome us and the Smackdown commentators to the show. JBL really does have talent at the announce table. Aretha Franklin must weigh nearly 300lbs. As we should start off with, our first match is this.

Money in the Bank: Matt Hardy vs. Finlay vs. Randy Orton vs. Edge vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. CM Punk vs. King Booker

I never got why they put so many people in these things. Having six or even four would make it MUCH better and you could spare some people for midcard matches. The arena looks incredible. The entrances take forever to get through so we’re going to be at about 12 minutes into the show when the first match starts. Kennedy does the Mic Drop. Big reactions for both Hardys.Everyone kind of stands around to start until Kennedy finally goes for a ladder. I never would have pegged him as the smart one.

Finlay of all people does the big dive to start the match. Edge almost gets up the ladder 90 seconds in but Matt makes the save. Orton and Finlay both go up but Jeff makes the save. You can’t say they’re not flying through this.Kennedy stops Hardy as Booker pulls out a stepladder by mistake in a funny bit. Edge picks up said stepladder and PELTS THAT THING at Punk’s head. Edge sets up the ladder as a bridge between the apron and the railing as I think I know what’s coming. Orton vs. Booker in the ring at the moment. Booker clears the ring and stops for a Spinarooni, allowing Edge and the Hardys to come in and stop him.

Edge suplexes Matt onto a ladder which I think breaks another one underneath it. In a SICK looking spot, Kennedy goes up for the Kenton Bomb onto Matt on the ladder but misses and the back of his head smacks the ladder. FREAKING OW MAN! Jeff throws in a Swanton as punishment for move infringement. Matt and Jeff go up and hammer on each other for a bit but Finlay shoves them both off.

Edge cleans house with about seven spears in a row but Punk makes the stop. Unfortunately there’s no ladder. Once he finds one though he busts out the Terry Funk Ladder Spin in a nice ECW homage (he was ECW at this point mind you). Edge busts out the BIG LADDER but Orton is shoved down. He walks into a Gordbuster by Jeff as we set up the huge spot of the match.Matt puts Edge on the ladder between the ring and the apron as Jeff goes up the big one. Instead of grabbing the case (JBL: GRAB THE CASE YOU CRAZY FREAK!) he dives off the ladder onto Edge, snapping the ladder right down the middle. INSANE spot and Edge is stretchered out which makes the flow of the match far better.

Everything more or less stops for a bit to take Edge out which is certainly understandable. Orton RKOs everyone in sight but Punk makes the save. RKO off the ladder ends Punk though as they just left Hardy laying there which is kind of funny in a sick way. Booker gets a Bookend off the ladder to Orton as everyone is down again.

Booker and Matt go up but Sharmell grabs Matt’s leg. Matt fights her off and threatens the Twist of Fate on her if Booker grabs the case in a creative move. Finlay’s head is busted BAD. Matt takes a Celtic Cross onto the ladder. Finlay’s back is too messed up to climb so here’s Horny to climb up and get the case for Finlay. Kennedy goes up and we get a Green Bay Plunge off the ladder on the midget.

Finlay is all like screw that and blasts Kennedy in the face with a ladder. In the words of Heenan: I told him not to touch that midget. Punk dropkicks the ladder to stop Finlay from going up. Kennedy vs. Punk on the ladder and down goes the blonde. Kennedy grabs a ladder and uses it like a javelin to mostly kill Punk and climbs up to get the ladder and end this.

Rating: B+. It’s not as good as the first MITB but it’s better than last year. The extra time helps a lot here but the ending is still relatively weak. Kennedy just climbs up the ladder to win the match. It’s fun, but it’s not mind blowing. It’s really a mess, and there’s nothing wrong with that as it got the crowd going like almost nothing else was going to.

Kennedy would of course get hurt and lose this shot to Edge who would use it to steal the title from the Undertaker. The Hardy/Edge ladder spot is absolutely insane and one of the sickest things I’ve ever seen. Kennedy says that he’s coming for the title. This makes me laugh.

Kane vs. Great Khali

Here’s your backstory: Khali was dominating Smackdown and said he wanted better competition. Kane accepted his offer and here we are. Kane looks absolutely tiny compared to Khali here and it’s almost scary. This is the big man battle and something tells me it’s not going to be very good. Oh and it’s inter-promotional.

I think you get the idea of what’s coming here. King says Khali is scarier than Andre which is again an eye rolling line. Lillian is looking AMAZING in a little blue dress. Khali dominates to start and continues to do so for awhile. Kane hammers away but it isn’t enough to get him anywhere. They’re using the big on big formula which isn’t very effective but what else can they do here?

And we hit the nerve hold as apparently a minute and a half is too long before we need a rest hold. King goes on about how awesome Khali is. He really is scary in person but he’s got nothing on Andre. JR calls Khali’s offense bowling shoe ugly. Preach it brother. Lawler calls him ugly in general.

Kane never can really get going here including not even putting Khali down with the clothesline. Khali gets tied up in the ropes and the beating is on. Kane is in trouble but he uses the meathook from his movie to get an advantage before slamming Khali which is the only thing here that actually gets the crowd awake.

The whole place is dead until then but soon thereafter Kane looks for a chokeslam but Khali counters with his two handed chokeslam to win. Afterwards he chokes Kane out with the rope from his hook. Nice thing to see there: attempted manslaughter with a deadly weapon. All hail the PG Era!

Rating: D. Short and bad usually makes a match better, but this was just flat out boring to me. The slam is all that’s keeping it from an F as neither of them were able to really get anything going here. Not a great match at all, but it did have one very cool moment in it. They went for a recreation of the Andre Slam but it just didn’t work at all.

Eugene is sad about being bald so Cryme Tyme helps him out by finding Kelly, Layla and Brooke. This leads to a dance party with a ton of HOFers and Legends. Ricky Steamboat, in full karate gear, pops up to stare everyone down but dances too resulting in the Ron Simmons catchphrase. Fun stuff of course.

United States Title: Chris Benoit vs. MVP

MVP comes out with cheerleaders as he’s the full on jerk here. I could get behind that, not the nice guy he turned into though. It never worked for me in the slightest which this was rather entertaining more often than not. He’s the brash young rookie and Benoit is, well he’s Chris Benoit and the US Champion. I think that sums this up pretty well. Basic story is MVP wanted a shot and Benoit said ok.

Benoit takes it to the match but MVP actually counters him in a nice move. MVP puts Benoit down and shouts FIRST DOWN in a cool bit. Benoit goes for the Sharpshooter but puts the leg in the wrong way for some reason. Crossface is countered and Benoit’s lip is busted. MVP works on the arm which takes away the Crossface which makes sense.

The referee says six minutes rather loudly which always makes me chuckle for some reason. Benoit busts out the Germans but MVP gets up to stop the headbutt from coming off the top. Superplex has Benoit in trouble as it gets two. Benoit’s arm hits the post and MVP pounces like a crazed Benoit. Wait that’s an oxymoron. He pounces like a Benoit and works the arm hard.

In a nice sequence, Benoit holds the rope to avoid a big boot but when he comes in MVP hits the boot anyway. I liked that. Crossface is attempted but MVP hammers the arm and Benoit can’t hook it. Pretty good stuff so far. Ballin, which is called Count It here gets two. Big boot in the corner misses and here come the Germans again.

More Germans come in as you would think this is happening in France. There’s the headbutt…and it gets the pin? They didn’t even use the full six minutes. The ending kind of came out of nowhere but it worked for the most part as the Crossface would have been a headscratcher here.

Rating: B. The ending is what ruins this for me. It’s like they were cut off mid match and it really hurt them. Other than that, this was great stuff. MVP surprised me here and would go on to beat Benoit in two straight falls to win the title at Backlash. Give this another three minutes or so and it’s great stuff indeed.

Trump runs into the Boogeyman and seemingly couldn’t care less.

Hall of Fame class is presented. This one was kind of weak as the main people were JR, the King and Dusty Rhodes. Not terrible at all but there wasn’t a big name in it, much like the first of the new round of classes.

Recap of Batista vs. Taker. The idea here is simple: Taker won the Rumble and picked Batista. This was a pretty big buildup at the time and it worked quite well I thought. The best part about this match is it marked the end of the really annoying tag team main events at No Way Out.

All it would be was the Smackdown main event teaming up with the Raw main event in a tag match with one “turning” but not getting booed. This year, Batista made the “turn” and once again, no one cared. Also, this should have been the main event. Taker in a title match at Mania is something special.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker

Taker gets the full on entrance here complete with lightning, thunder, smoke and druids holding fire. A poll says that there’s an 80% fan vote that Taker wins the title here. And people say WWE fans aren’t smart. The entrances and buildup took nearly 15 minutes in total for this. Spear by Batista IMMEDIATELY but Taker throws him into the corner as we’re on hard and fast.

They slug it out on the floor and Taker eats steps with his knees. That must be incredibly awkward at dinner. Batista goes up top and comes off with a shoulder block for two. They’re going all big and hard here and it’s awesome so far. Taker punches up from his knees and it’s Boo/Yay time. Snake Eyes and the big boot combination put Batista down for two.

Old School connects but Batista blocks the chokeslam to HUGE heat. Taker beats him back and hits the apron legdrop for a nice reaction. BIG Taker Dive has Batista reeling. We stay on the floor and Batista reverses to send Taker into the timekeeper’s table. We enter Spanish Land with JBL and Cole having to get out of the way as Batista gets a powerslam through the table.

White heat on Batista as he rolls Taker in for two. Batista Bomb is blocked to a sweet reaction. Belly to belly by Batista gets two. We go Mania X-7 as Taker gets the Last Ride out of the corner to counter the ten punches. It’s really just a powerbomb but it worked fine. Naturally that only gets two as this is pretty solid stuff so far.

Spinebuster hits but Taker is like forget that and sits up. Chokeslam gets two as the fans are COMPLETELY behind Taker. Bad spear by Batista shifts momentum again. Batista Bomb gets two as the fans are scared to death at this point. Another Bomb is blocked and because Batista is STUPID he goes for a Tombstone. Taker is all like boy please and the REAL Tombstone makes Taker 15-0.

Rating: B+. This match was solid to me. There’s no real botches other than arguably the Last Ride which you can attribute to a few things: Batista’s size, Taker being spent, the speed he pulls it off in etc. Although to be fair, it wasn’t like it looked terrible. It was just a regular powerbomb.

This is probably Batista’s best match ever. Taker put on quite a performance as well, just like he does every year here. The only thing I didn’t like was the ending, which while it wasn’t as bad as Benoit/MVP, it wasn’t the best. Either way, definitely a good match and I was entertained the whole time.

This was two guys out there throwing bombs at each other and while it’s not quite as good as some of their later matches, this was a war with both guys working hard the whole time. The crowd was awesome the whole time too as they let Batista know they didn’t like him at all and there’s not a thing wrong with that. Good stuff indeed.

Stephanie and the next generation of McMahon are in the back with Vince. Nothing of note, although there’s a camera in the stroller of course.

Sandman/Rob Van Dam/Tommy Dreamer/Sabu vs. Elijah Burke/Marcus Cor Von/Matt Striker/Kevin Thorn

This one really makes me scratch my head. Why in the world is this not a No DQ match? They had that next month at Backlash, so why not here? It would make so much more sense for this to be one of those, rather than just an 8 man tag. That ECW song never gets old to me. Standard old vs. new thing here. ECW guys are wrestling at Wrestlemania. How weird does that sound?

Burke is now more commonly known as D’Angelo Dinero and collectively they’re known as the New Breed. Striker as a wrestler is just odd indeed. Striker vs. Sabu starts us off here. Sabu totally misses a springboard clothesline for two anyway. Sandman goes up and hits a legdrop across the back of Striker as he’s laid out over the top rope.

Cor Von (Monty Brown) in now as they’re tagging in and out very fast. Dreamer plays the face in peril and gets the tar beaten out of him of course. Big back drop by Burke and Cor Von sets up the double knees in the back of Dreamer by Burke. Sitout powerbomb by Thorn gets two as Sabu makes the save.

Double tags, one to RVD and the other to Striker. That’s just amusing given what we know now. Sabu dives over the top to take out Cor Von and lands on his head. Dreamer plants Striker and with everyone else down, the Five Star ends Striker with ease.

Rating: D+. This was there and that’s about all I can say about it. Again, why in the world was this not a hardcore match or a weapons match? Joey freaks about the ECW guys winning at Mania, which is so against what they stood for originally that it’s not even funny. Kind of a cool moment though I guess.

Recap of the Battle of the Millionaires. This is your real main event but it’s not for the wrestling. The reason this show got the ratings that it got was Donald Trump possibly getting his head shaved. As I’ve mentioned before, Trump must really like wrestling given this is his 4th appearance at Mania.

There’s a big problem with this match: Lashley was as big of a lock to win as anyone could ever believe. He was being pushed to the moon, Umaga never won a really big match yet and there was no way Trump was getting shaved, which no one actually thought would happen.

Austin is your guest referee as he has to be at Mania. This is what he should be. He gets the big pop and is still viewed as a tough guy. I like these appearances but few others do. Anyway, the idea is that each billionaire picks a guy and they have a match. The losing rich guy gets his head shaved.

Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga

The entrances literally take over ten minutes as Vince, Umaga, Trump, Lashley and Austin all have their own entrances. Right off the bat, this match looks boring. Shockingly enough, I’m right. Trump has real $100 bills rain from the ceiling which is pretty awesome. Lashley is ECW Champion here and Umaga is IC Champion here but that doesn’t mean anything.

Ross points out that Umaga has no amateur background. Gee you think? Austin breaks something up for Lashley and the darker skinned dude doesn’t take kindly to it at all. Middle rope shoulder block puts the Samoan down. Umaga gets a foot under the rope and Lashley isn’t thrilled with it being broken up. He kills Estrada to vent some frustration.

Umaga misses a charge and hits the floor with a big old thud. Ross and Lawler calling wrestling is just…right. A few seconds after Umaga hits the floor, Lashley does the exact same thing, crashing out on the outside which I’d assume will set up Umaga’s dominance which I’d assume will include a nerve hold. Big splash gets two for Umaga.

Points to Trump for being INTO this. He’s cheering for Lashley and is clearly interested in what’s going on. Have to give him that: the guy is at least acting like he wants to be there which is a lot more than you can say about some celebrities at Mania. Umaga chokes on the ropes and Austin pulls him away by the hair. Can’t beat a tough referee. Ok you can but you get the idea.

Samoan Drop hits as it’s all Umaga here. Vince’s eyes are sparkling. Lashley gets some punches in but can’t slam Umaga. I guess he’s no Hogan. Lashley sends Vince down by mistake. No wonder he got fired. Bobby manages to slam Umaga off the top and both guys are down. Austin counts but gets to 9 and just doesn’t count them out.

Shane comes out to help Vince up and hangs out at ringside. Austin pulls Umaga off again, this time by the eye. Samoan Spike to Austin and the evil smile on Vince’s face for that is just awesome to see. Shane gets in and hammers on Bobby for a little bit. Vince busts out some garbage cans because what’s wrestling without garbage cans?

The garbage can is set up in front of Lashley’s face and the Van Terminator hits. Shane pulls his shirt off and has a referee’s shirt on underneath of it. A top rope splash kills Lashley but Austin makes the save. Umaga puts him down again and Trump isn’t sure what to do. Vince yells at Austin and TRUMP CLOTHESLINES VINCE! HOKEY FREAKING SMOKE! Umaga goes after Austin again but a Stunner takes him down and a spear from Lashley ends Vince’s hair.

Rating: C-. This was just a match really with nothing at all special going on in it. Make no mistake about it though: this is why Mania 23 was a success. This was HUGE and having Austin thrown in there helped a lot. Austin screwing over Vince is just right. This wasn’t anything great but it was fun and that’s what matters.

We get the head shaving thing which goes on for a good ten minutes. Vince glaring at Austin the whole time is just great. They really do shave the whole thing off too and Vince is bald. Austin stuns Trump as again this guy earns respect from fans.

Ad for Backlash.

Ready for your pointless filler?

We look at the dark match of all things which was a lumberjack tag match with Flair/Carlito vs. Chavo/Gregory Helms with Carlito pinning Chavo off the Backstabber. Is there a reason we’re watching this?

Women’s Title: Melina vs. Ashley

It’s a lumberjill match. Well at least we can look at the girls. You can tell they’re trying to fill time as they list off every one of the girls. Ashley is the Playboy chick of the year which is the only reason she’s here. Let the sloppiness begin. You can tell the fans are mostly not caring here.

Melina gets a surfboard as the crowd is just DEAD. When you can’t get fans excited over a ton of hot women you know you’re in trouble. Ashley is just horrid in the ring and everyone knows it. She misses a horrible looking elbow off the top and is covered for two and ZERO heat at all. A rollup keeps the title on Melina.

Rating: F. This was terrible and a waste of match time.

There’s a big brawl with all the girls post match.

The fans favor Cena 59-41.

We recap Cena vs. Shawn which is happening because Shawn won a triple threat match against Orton and Edge. They play up the old vs. new thing here which is fine. The start of the video is music playing very lightly in the background with no lyrics against video of the two of them. They change that at the end and switch it up to a more traditional package but it worked rather well for a big buildup video.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels

This should be awesome. Shawn comes out to the DX music which isn’t right for the main event of Wrestlemania, period. Oh Shawn and Cena are tag champions here. I forgot about that and it means jack here. Thankfully Shawn doesn’t wear the title belt to the ring as it would look so painfully out of place. The fans boo Cena as soon as Shawn’s music ends so you know what to expect.

Cena’s awesome entrance this time: a Mustang is shown driving around Detroit and into the arena. The booing when Cena’s music hits as he gets out is epic. Shawn sits on the top rope all calm and cool which is very Shawn of him. Shawn offers a handshake but slaps Cena instead and it’s on. Crotch chop for Cena.

Shawn wins the opening strike off and puts Cena down with a chop. Shawn controls for the most part and speeds things up so Cena takes his head off with a clothesline. Can’t beat that at times. Shawn is starting to get all ticked off here which means this is about to start getting good. A hiptoss sends Cena to the floor and it’s almost all Shawn.

Enziguri has Cena reeling. Shawn hits the ring and lands an Asai Moonsault onto Cena and onto the table which is AMERICAN so it doesn’t break. I think this legitimately hurt Michaels’ ribs but I’ve heard different stories on that. Cena gets the skin peeled off his chest with chops. A shot to Cena’s knee has another part of the champion hurting.

Things slow down a bit here as Shawn talks to Cena in a way we’re supposed to see I think. Cena gets a big punch in but Shawn throws a shoulder to keep Cena in the corner. Shawn charges again but his head eats turnbuckle (George Steele did it better) and he’s busted open. Ah ok the replay shows that it was the post which makes more sense.

Cena gets some mounted shots to SOLID heat. Superkick misses and down goes the referee. He has a bad habit of doing that at Mania. There is blood all over Cena’s shoulder. FU is countered into a DDT for no cover since the referee is out cold still. Shawn hits the floor and unhooks the steps. How are we just barely over halfway through with this?

Somehow that only gets two as another referee comes out. Shawn busts out the forearm, the nipup and the elbow. It’s time to tune up the band but Cena gets a clothesline out of desperation to make the stop. FU is reversed. Might have worked better if Cena hadn’t stopped to turn to the camera. I wonder if that’s Shawn’s blood or Cena’s blood on the top of John’s head.

FU hits on the second attempt and Shawn is in big trouble. That only gets two but you would think the Lions just made the Super Bowl. The only difference is that this was possible. Cena sets for the FU off the middle rope but Shawn fights him off and gets a cross body. Cena catches him and rolls through into the FU but Shawn counters and looks for Chin Music. Cena ducks with a drop toe hold but Shawn counters THAT into a small package for two. Great sequence.

Enziguri misses and STFU is locked on. A rope is grabbed and Cena yells at the referee. BIGGEST CHIN MUSIC EVER takes Cena’s head off but Shawn can’t cover in time and it only gets two. Double count gets us to nine and Shawn swings away but the champ counters into the STFU again and Shawn can’t get out this time and Detroit all wants to cry as Cena retains.

Rating: A. Great match. Cena can turn it on in the big matches like few others can. Shawn is one of those few that can turn it on even better though and he certainly did here. They beat the tar out of each other with both guys working incredibly hard out there to show off for the huge crowd. Cena has made both members of DX tap in consecutive Manias. How many people can say that? The leg injury disappearing holds this back a bit, but great match either way.

Overall Rating: B. This is a solid show but it’s not great for some reason. There’s just a little something stopping it and I’m not sure what it is. I think that part of it is the main event. It’s a great match, but the problem is that once it’s done things are exactly as they were before.

The Battle of the Billionaires was good but it could have been so much more. The show is worth seeing but there are far better ones out there. See the main event for sure and Batista vs. Taker is worth seeing too. Good show overall, but just a step behind the great ones.

 




History of Wrestlemania with KB – Wrestlemania 22 – I barely remember this show.

Wrestlemania 22
Date: April 2, 2006
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 17,159
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz
America The Beautiful: Michelle Williams

Now this is an interesting show.  We’re now fully into what I guess you would call the modern era of both the company and Mania.  Cena is the dominant world champion, Orton was his evil self, Taker’s Streak is at full power and Shawn is his Christian self.  This show is much like 19: it’s solid, but easily forgettable for some reason.  The wrestling is good but at the same time nothing jumps off the page at you.

This is also Kurt Angle’s more or less swan song in WWE as far as major angles go.  He was drafted to ECW a few months later and after that did little to anything of note until his release and arrival in TNA.  Jeff Hardy was about four months away from his comeback.  The card looks somewhere between good and better than good so let’s get to it.

An added factor to this show is that I went to the follow up Raw exclusive PPV, Backlash, the next month.  Since I remember it fairly well, I’ll be able to throw in some post show stuff leading up to Backlash.

After America the Beautiful it’s the standard history package to start with I Dare You by Shinedown playing which is a very good song here. The recap videos are something that WWE has always done very well. I don’t remember much of this buildup as it was three years ago but the packages help a lot. The theme song here is Big Time which is a bad pop song. Wrestlemania is supposed to have a freaking ROCK song with it, not a bad pop song.

A video runs us through the main matches and I have to think of the stupid Rey main event tour.  Also tonight it’s Cena vs. HHH and Shawn vs. Vince.  This is one of the weaker Manias as far as cards go if you didn’t get that.
Raw Tag Titles: Big Show/Kane vs. Carlito/Chris Masters

This was around the time that the two giants were just crushing everyone in their paths with reckless abandon. Carlito and Masters were two young guys that weren’t quite thrown together to face them here. As usual the Chicago crowd is white hot.  Kane and Show come out together and weigh over 800lbs.  How in the world is Kane the lightweight on a team?

Masters vs. Kane to start us off here.  This is the first time in seven years that the titles have been defended at Mania in a traditional tag match.  That’s kind of pathetic when you think about it.  Show comes in and drills Masters a bit.  Big chop in the corner makes people say WOO even though it’s a different kind of chop than Flair threw.

Show slams him and steps on the chest of Masters who tags out to Carlito.  The Puerto Rican tries a wristlock and is promptly lifted up into the air and crotched with ease.  Show launches Carlito onto Masters on the floor.  Kane throws out a clothesline to both but lands between them resulting in a massive THUD on the floor but is up first.  Total and complete dominance so far.

Somehow the challengers got the buckle off and Carlito dropkicks Show’s knee to send Show’s head into the buckle.  Off to Masters now but like idiots they try a double suplex and get launched for their troubles.  Kane comes in and a huge backdrop takes down Carlito.

Carlito gets a boot up and that more or less ends his offense.  Masters manages to get the Masterlock on Kane but Show kicks him in the face to break it.  Backstabber to Kane but Carlito walks into a chokeslam.  Masters saves but Kane gets up.  There’s no end to these guys.  Chokeslam to Carlito ends this.

Rating: D+. It wasn’t a classic but it wasn’t supposed to be. This was little more than a glorified squash and that’s just fine for an opener. Both teams would be split up within a month though as the heels argued over who cost them the match here, leading to the Backlash opener which the newly face Carlito would win with a Backstabber. Kane and Show would lose the tag titles to the Spirit Squad of all people and Kane would begin to go insane.

They began a weird tweener vs. face feud where Kane’s voice would play throughout the arena as somehow not only could we hear his thoughts but they were wired around the arena. It tied in somehow to Kane’s See No Evil movie, but it was still pretty bad. It culminated with a fake Kane, apparently from Kane’s past, beating Kane at Vengeance. It made no sense and was a total waste of about three months.

Masters and Carlito argue post match with the fans supporting Carlito.

Shawn says he doesn’t regret telling Vince that Vince needed to grow up because it was the truth.  He talks about how he’s always stealing the show at Mania but not to expect a five star classic out of HBK.  Tonight is about violence because tonight it’s Vince that needs to pray as tonight Vince is enduring his own personal torment.
Money in the Bank

Matt Hardy, Shelton Benjamin, Finlay, Ric Flair, Lashley, Rob Van Dam
Lillian in that dress with the cut down to her stomach made me lose consciousness for a bit there.  Shelton is IC Champion here so no defense of it again.  All four commentators are talking here.  Van Dam is pretty clearly the most popular guy here.  Lashley is a freaking beast.  Flair comes out last because I guess he’s the most exciting one with a ladder?  That pink robe kind of makes me think he’s not very extreme.

This is only the second of the matches so there isn’t really a track record.  RVD chant to start as Lashley destroys everyone with power.  Matt brings in the first ladder but Van Dam hits a baseball slide to stop it from coming in and dives on the ladder onto Hardy.  No one is in the ring at the moment until Finlay vs. Shelton goes on there.  Shelton hammers him with a ladder which is set up in front of the ropes like a ramp.  Shelton gets a running start and hits a big flip off of it onto everyone not named Flair.

Finlay and Flair go up but the ladder isn’t in the right place for Flair.  Matt goes up and suplexes the young 57 year old down.  Flair is in agony and the referee throws up the X for him.  Hey, did you know he broke his back in a plane crash in the 70s?  Didn’t know if the first million or so times we told you that got it through or not.  RVD drops Shelton onto the ladder but misses Rolling Thunder on it.  There are only five people in there still at the moment.

Lashley goes up very slowly of course but Shelton runs up only to get popped in the head.  Shelton fights him off but can’t get a sunset bomb to take him down.  Matt and Finlay help him out and down goes Lashley finally.  Another big RVD chant starts up.  Matt takes over on offense but when he puts a ladder in front of Finlay to charge at him Finlay throws the ladder at him for a FREAKING OW MAN moment.

Here comes Flair because he hasn’t been on camera for almost five minutes.  Did he need to be oiled or something?  Since the ring is empty he sets up a ladder but is stopped by Matt.  Flair chops some people away and touches the case.  Finlay pops up with the club that no one can spell and takes Flair down.  The case is swinging though so Shelton is able to stop him or at least slow him down.

Shelton knocks him down and tries to go up but Lashley shoves it down.  Van Dam hasn’t been seen in a good while.  Oh there he is with a chair on the top.  He jumps off and dropkicks the chair into the ladder and everyone is down.  Hardy, the idiot that he is, sets up a ladder in the corner.  Oh instead he’s doing a signature move instead of trying to win.  What a shock.

He goes up and gets a hand on it, drawing a ton of boos.  Finlay makes the save and we’re told he’s not a ladder specialist.  Dude you go up.  How hard can it be?  Side Effect to Finlay off the ladder takes down Finlay, Hardy and the ladder.  Van Dam climbs the ladder in the corner and drops a regular splash on Finlay.  It’s good that he didn’t do the Five Star version as he would have killed himself.

In one of my all time favorite spots, Van Dam goes up top but Shelton springboards from the apron to the top rope to the ladder to catch Van Dam.  That’s simply incredible and beats everything I’ve ever seen.  Matt puts up another ladder but he and Shelton go down.  Van Dam is alone and is like dude that’s awesome and wins the match by pulling down the case.  He would win the title in June but lose it in three weeks due to getting high with Sabu.

Rating: B. Solid stuff here of course but WAY too short to be a great match.  This was less than twelve and a half minutes long to give you an idea of how short it was. This was good but at the same time they needed more to it.  Also with only Lashley and Van Dam being legit contenders out there it was a bit weaker than last year.  Good match though.

Josh Matthews, with a lot of hair, is with Gene Okerlund who has no hair.  Orton interrupts and says he’ll win the title tonight.  Batista pops up and says he’s returning soon, which is true.  Just three short months later he did return.

It’s time for the Hall of Fame class to come out.  Bret Hart isn’t here which is understandable I guess.  The rest is Mean Gene, Sensational Sherri, Tony Atlas (they’re all accompanied by Divas here if that means anything), Verne Gagne, William “Refrigerator” Perry (he couldn’t get a suit for this?) the Blackjacks, Eddie Guerrero (represented by Vickie who wasn’t a TV character yet) and of course Bret who isn’t here.

United States Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Benoit
No real storyline here as it’s really just JBL challenging him for the belt. In a really cool looking visual, the entrance ramp rises up like a garage and JBL’s limo drives out of it. Good lord Jillian Hall looks amazingly hot as a cowgirl.  JBL has a hand injury here.  JBL grabs a headlock to start and takes Benoit down with a shoulder.  Benoit tries the Crossface out of nowhere but can’t lock it in.

Instead Chris settles for some hard chops in the corner.  Out to the floor and JBL hides behind Jillian to take over.  Benoit tries to chop back so JBL KICKS HIM IN THE FACE.  Why mess with what works?  Rolling Germans by Benoit must have JBL wanting to throw out some Nazi salutes.  Benoit goes but get crotched.  Eh with all those steroids in him the balls didn’t feel anything.  JBL does Eddie’s dance to draw big heat and hits a superplex for two.

In a stat that I find almost impossible to believe, Cole says that only 5 matches in Mania history have ended in submission. I had to stop the match and go back to check on that. I found 7: Angle vs. HBK (21), Benoit vs. HBK vs. HHH (20), Rick Martel vs. Koko B. Ware (6), Steve Austin vs. Savio Vega (12-sleeper) Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin (13-Austin never tapped so I’m not sure if that counts), Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis (3-sleeper) and Bret Hart vs. Bob Backlund (11).

Even with Cole being wrong, that’s still amazing. 7 in the first 21 shows meaning just one every three years. That’s either really impressive or really bad.  Anyway JBL dances a bit more and hits Three Amigos.  Benoit counters the third one but gets kicked in the face for two for his troubles.  Off to a chinlock by JBL as things slow down a bit.

Benoit fights back and does Three Amigos of his own with Cole saying “this is how it’s done”, despite Benoit getting up differently than Eddie did.  JBL did the same thing Eddie did.  Flying headbutt by Benoit gets a long two.  Clothesline misses but JBL grabs the referee to avoid the suplex.  Clothesline attempt #2 is caught into the Crossface but JBL casually rolls him over and grabs the rope for the title.  That’s the ending?  Really?

Rating: D+. Seriously, that’s all there is here? The ending was flat out terrible. It made no sense at all and came from nowhere. JBL literally wasn’t in the Crossface for two seconds, and I timed it, before he rolled out. This match felt like it didn’t have a beginning and started at about 5 minutes in if that makes sense. Really not that good at all.

We recap the hardcore match between Edge vs. Mick Foley.  Now this is the match this show is remembered for and with good reason. The story is that Edge stole the WWE Title from Cena using his MITB contract. Foley was the referee for some reason during the rematch, won by Cena. Edge of course says it was biased officiating. That leads to Edge challenging Foley, but Foley saying it’s hardcore. We get this.
Edge vs. Mick Foley
Joey Styles is on commentary here as he freaking well should be. Lita looks INSANELY hot here with the Edge vest, bra and jeans. Good freaking lord. Edge has a ball bat with him. Edge’s facial expressions as Foley comes to the ring makes this match already. That’s his best asset and always has been. When he gets in a big match, Edge’s face is just amazing. Foley has his (blue) flannel shirt on so you know he’s serious here.

Styles actually analyzes Foley’s choice of flannel which is a bit odd. Styles really is a great choice for commentary here as his voice just fits this.  Edge swings away with the bat almost immediately which gets him nowhere.  Tree of Woe by Edge early as Foley drops an elbow on him.  Edge gets a shot in and has Lita hand him a cookie sheet.

These shots are LOUD.  Foley takes a street sign to the head and rubs hit stomach.  Do the sheets smell like cookies?  Edge hits the spear after maybe two minutes and is writhing in pain from it.  Foley gets up and rips off the blue flannel to reveal a belt made of barbed wire and the RED FLANNEL SHIRT!!!  Foley whips him with the barbed wire and Edge is bleeding from the arm.

Edge is now tied up in the rope and the crowd pops for it.  Foley hits the floor and finds Barbie, the barbed wire baseball bat.  Lita comes in for the save by jumping on Foley’s back (seriously is there anyone she won’t hit on?) so Foley is like screw it and we get a Cactus Clothesline to the floor.  That and a neckbreaker outside both get two.

It appears Foley has become Cactus Jack but when he tries a running knee into Edge into the steps he gets hip blocked into the steps which looked awful.  Again the knees go into the steps.  Does anyone wonder why Foley can barely walk anymore?  Chair time by Edge.  Sorry that there aren’t many jokes in this but there’s not much to make fun of.  Edge hits the floor again and busts out a table.

Foley rolls off before Edge can put him through it so instead he just rams him into the steel of the ramp.  That sound made me cringe.  Back in the ring now and Edge has…oh blast it he has lighter fluid.  He pours it on Foley but Mick is able to get a Piledriver to save his own life.  Using a cookie sheet instead of a second chair Edge almost takes a Conchairto.  He manages to get up and give Foley a DDT (not) on the cookie sheet.

Edge with Barbie now (is Lita Ken?) and he hammers Foley with it to draw blood.  A bulldog onto Barbie gets two.  Out to the floor goes Edge and he finds a bag of tacks.  Oh dear.  Apparently he had a bunch of weapons hidden underneath the stairs.  Foley manages to reverse though and suplexes Edge onto the tacks.  Considering Edge wasn’t wearing a shirt that was awesome.

Here’s Socko but Foley wraps it in barbed wire.  Claw to Lita as well and now Foley has Barbie (make sure to use protection since Edge already had her).  Edge takes a shot to the head and is busted open as well.  Oh man he’s cut BAD.  Foley, the nice guy that he is, rips the barbed wire deeper into the skin of our Canadian villain.

Foley finds the lighter fluid and holds it up like a treasure in a Zelda game.  The table gets soaked in it and yep they light it on fire.  In the famous spot from this show, Edge dives through the ropes and spears Foley into the flaming table, burning both men in the process.  The pin is academic.

Rating: A. They wanted to make Edge look awesome and they certainly did it here.  Foley looked great too as once in awhile he can break out a great match and that’s what he did here.  This was exactly what they needed and was enough to let Edge get back into the main event.  Great match and the Mania moment that both guys were looking for.  In true WWE style, they would be partners weeks later.

Foley gets a standing ovation to leave.
Booker and Sharmell are in the back and Sharmell is freaking over Boogeyman. Booker says he’s not a freak magnet. He then runs into Pirate Paul Burchill and then Ted DiBiase and Eugene doing the basketball thing as I mark out.  The basketball thing was where DiBiase would say that if a guy could bounce a basketball 100 times in a row he would give them 1000 dollars.

On about 97 he would kick it away.   He laughs and offers Booker a chance at it, saying everybody’s got a price for the Million Dollar Man. Seriously people, go look up his old stuff. In my opinion, he is still the greatest heel that ever lived. One more note about the basketball trick, back in the 80s, a young man from Battle Creek, Michigan named Rob was swindled by DiBiase. He eventually changed his name to Rob Van Dam.

He also finds Snitsky licking Mae Young’s toes and Goldust dressed as Oprah.  I love these kinds of segments.  Goldie says Booker has to accept the freak in him to beat the Boogeyman.  There’s talk of worms in mouths and in a place that Booker is angry over having Goldust whisper to him.  DiBiase’s laugh takes us off.

Ad for Backlash.  Hey I was there!

We see some sweepstakes winners that no one cares about.

Joe Theisman and Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child are here.

Booker T/Sharmell vs. Boogeyman

The idea here is Booker keeps faking injuries to get out of matches and is threatened with being fired if he doesn’t wrestle. He was found out anyway and here’s your result.  Oh and they’re both terrified of Boogey.  Yes Booker, a five time world champion, is terrified of the Boogeyman.  Booker wants Sharmell to start us off.  It’s weird to hear Cole as a normal announcer at this point.

Booker comes in and hammers away.  This is about what you would expect: Booker pounds away, it doesn’t work, Boogey dances a lot and Booker still can’t hurt him.  Book End hits and Boogeyman gets up at two.  Booker is sent into the post and Boogeyman pulls out a pocket full of worms.  He has a snack and Sharmell tries to hit Boogey with his staff.  She gets kissed by a mouth full of worms and runs.  Chokebomb ends this with Boogeyman winning.

Rating: F. If I need to explain this, you’re an idiot.  Did Booker get caught screw Stephanie while giving TNA inside information and choking out Vince at the same time or something?

We recap Trish vs. Mickie.  In short, Mickie was psycho and wanted Trish.  This involved seeing Trish in the shower and kissing her.  I think they dressed up as each other a few times also.  Trish finally has enough and Mickie loses it.  Trish has been champion for like a year at this point so the title change was long overdue.  Watching this video, the build to this was pretty awesome.
Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James

The main perk here would be their looks.  Mickie would wear these really loose skirts which would often fly into the air.  To the shock of no one, Trish looks incredible.  It’s so ridiculous to see how far the Divas have fallen today.  These girls have personality and are interesting and I want to see them fight after what felt like a somewhat epic storyline built around them.

Trish goes right after her and gets a Thesz Press to take her down.  Big chop puts Mickie down.  Trish knocks Mickie down into the splits and then kicks her in the head.  Out to the floor and the Chick Kick hits the post to set the story for this match.  Mickie works the knee because she’s intelligent despite being psycho.

She DDTs the leg for two as the fans are almost ALL behind Mickie here.  Lots of knee work here which is the main thing involved in Trish’s finishers.  She pulls Trish’s hair and slams Trish’s face into the mat in a painful looking move.  Mickie jumps onto the leg and spins around, looking for praise.

Mickie is mixing up her offense on the leg between holds and strikes to it.  See, THAT is important.  It makes things far more interesting as instead of just sitting around with one thing we get a variety.  She puts a leg bar on but Trish wraps her legs around Mickie’s head and gets a headscissors out of it.  That was rather good actually.

They slug it out a bit more with neither girl having a real advantage.  Mickie goes up but Trish catches her in the Stratusphere.  Mickie counters that though and drapes the leg over the top rope again which gets two.  Half crab is rolled up into a small package which gives us two and a great back shot.  Mickie goes up again but is caught by a sitout powerbomb for two.

Trish hammers away and the Matrish avoids a kick of some sort.  She sets for Startusfaction but Mickie rubs Trish’s crotch to break it up and then licks the hand that was down there.  See, little things like that get the gimmick over.  They set for the ending which is Mickie using the Stratusfaction but Mickie TOTALLY misses the rope and botches the heck out of it.  A weak kick to the head ends it instead.  JR’s line of THE NUTJOB HAS WON THE TITLE sums this up perfectly.

Rating: B. This would have been an A if not for the finish. I’m not sure which is better: the tiny outfits and how sexy both were in them or the fact that this was really a great match. The botch at the end almost kills this though, but aside from that it’s great and one of the best women’s matches I’ve ever seen.  More importantly than anything though: I cared about it because there was an interesting storyline with developed characters.  DO THAT MORE OFTEN!
All four McMahons are in the back and they pray.  What do you really expect here?

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

This match came about after Henry was for some reason pushed as top heel on Smackdown, feuding with Angle for the title. Angle beat him clean at the Rumble and then Taker had Angle beat for the title on Smackdown but Henry attacked the dead man.  Taker than challenged Henry to a Casket Match for some reason and we get this.  No buildup video for this either as they’re not even trying to convince us the Streak is in jeopardy.  Henry is of course not afraid of the dark.

Taker gets the big entrance with the druids.  Oh wait that’s just for the casket.  Hey we do get a brief recap.  I see why it didn’t get a full one.  Daivari is Henry’s manager at this point but isn’t here.  This would lead to the debut of Great Khali.  Henry jumps Taker during his entrance, more or less sealing his fate.  Taker gets a big boot and clothesline but can’t take Henry down.

Clothesline by Henry shifts momentum a bit.  Can you believe that this is the same guy that was able to have classics with Shawn and then on the other hand you have Henry who had been there ten years at this point and has gotten worse after starting bad?  If you can’t tell I’m trying to not have to talk about the match.  Henry goes into the steps, Taker goes into the steps, Old School is blocked and the casket is open.

No one in the world thought Henry had a chance here and the fans are more or less accepting that.  When Henry is on offense there’s no heat at all.  Taker gets a boot to the shoulder and hammers away on it.  Old School hits this time and Henry still won’t go down.  Taker tries a Downward Spiral but is blocked, drawing a Henry Sucks chant.

Henry goes after Taker but misses, landing in the casket.  Taker winds up in there also and they fight in there for a bit.  Taker reaches up and chokes away as this is already needing to end.  Back in the ring with Taker striking but he jumps into the World’s Strongest Slam for no cover as Henry isn’t that intelligent.  Taker stands up in the casket and gets out rather easily.

Taker gets beaten down in the corner and then like the moron that he is, Henry climbs up to pound down punches.  When do you see Taker try cross bodies or Henry do that?  Not a fan of moves like those.  Taker doesn’t get a Last Ride but more or less falls forward to put Henry down.  Henry goes onto the casket so Taker dives over it to take him down.  Tombstone in the ring and the ending is academic.

Rating: D. This was bad for one simple reason: there was no drama to it at all.  Taker matches at Mania can work very well but at the same time there are matches where there’s no point to him being there, such as this one.  I mean dude, Mark Henry?  This was a joke and everyone knew it.  Boring match and nothing happened at all.

There’s a Divas Lingerie show coming up or something.

We recap Shawn vs. Vince.  There was a Raw in Montreal and Shawn apologized to the fans, who kind of accepted it. Vince comes out and laughs about it. Shawn says he needs to grow up, then throws a super kick at him, intentionally missing by as little a margin as he can. This launched a feud which mainly consisted of Vince trying to get Shawn hurt.

Marty Jannetty returned to try to help Shawn but was fired after something like two weeks. Shane faced Shawn on SNME in a street fight and they redid the Montreal finish. Somewhere in there Shawn was forced to kiss up to Vince. It was an ok feud but nothing great. The blowoff was supposed to be here, so let’s take a look.  This was supposed to be Bret but he didn’t do it for four years.

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

Shawn comes out first which is kind surprising.  Vince is demonic according to JR as he comes out.  McMahon is very proud of his physique and can you blame him?  He has a framed cover of his Muscle and Fitness magazine at ringside which might as well have an X on the middle for the part that goes on his head.  Shawn goes straight to the floor and we head to the tables quickly.

JR loses his headset which makes this match more enjoyable.  Shawn grabs the framed cover and cracks it over Vince’s head.  JR is completely one sided here because of Vince treating him badly over the years or something.  The Spirit Squad hits the ring to make it 6-1.  Who would have thought that Dolph Ziggler (Nicky!) would be a world champion before Shawn?

They hit their finisher which is where they all grab the other guy and throw him into the air as high as they can.  Kenny misses a guillotine legdrop and Mikey grabs the bullhorn which is applied to the sides of their heads.  Vince is able to recuperate during that time and hammers away a bit.  Off comes the belt and the whipping begins.

Vince sets for Sweet Chin Music which is caught.  Maybe he should have tuned up with a little Stand Back before he did that.  Shawn fires away with the forearm and nip up so he can whip Vince a bit.  Top rope elbow hits and it’s time to Tune Up the Band.  Cue Shane with a kendo stick to crack Shawn in the head.

With Shane standing guard, Vince takes down his own pants.  Yep it’s time for the kissing spot but Shawn gets his momentum back and sends Shane’s face into his dad’s back.  Shawn pulls handcuffs out of somewhere (Vince maybe?) and ties Shane to the rope.  After doing Shane’s dance, Shawn beats the tar out of him with the stick.

Chair time and a HUGE shot puts Vince down.  Shawn sets for chin music but stops as Vince collapses.  Instead he hits the floor and pulls out a ladder.  A shot to the head puts down Vince as I think you know what’s coming here.  Vince is dripping blood here.  Chin Music is stopped again as Vince is almost lifeless.

Shawn pulls out some garbage cans and a table.  Shane is still cuffed mind you.  The table is set up after a can shot.  Shawn goes up the ladder with Vince on the table and then climbs down.  He had a scary look on his face before he came down.  Out to the floor again and it’s the BIG ladder.  Lawler says it’s 30ft high, meaning Shawn is about 15 feet tall.  Shawn fires a crotch chop from the ladder and drops the biggest elbow ever to kill Vince.  Sweet Chin Music finally ends this with Vince just collapsing from it.  The pin is academic of course.

Rating: C+. Well this was supposed to be a beating and that’s exactly what it was.  Vince can take one heck of a beating when he has to and this was no exception.  Shawn looked great here with the whole letting the old Shawn sneak in as his mind was being affected by Vince.  Good beating but Vince had literally nothing for about 8 minutes at the end.  Granted he wasn’t supposed to so that’s easily forgivable.  Fun stuff but not great.

Vince flips off Shawn from the stretcher which is just classic.

WM 23 is coming to Detroit.

We recap the Smackdown World Title match.  Angle is the champion.  Rey won the Rumble in honor of Eddie Guerrero and last eliminated Randy Orton to win.  Orton went insane heel by saying Eddie was burning and managed to get Rey vs. Orton at No Way Out for the Mania title shot.  Orton won and Teddy just made it a triple threat because he could.  You knew there would be a triple threat in there somehow.  This gets the music video treatment tonight, set to I Dare You by Shinedown.  Love that song.

Smackdown Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton

POD plays Rey to the ring which is always awesome to see.  This would be cool but Rey has a massive headdress on which I think is taller than he is.  Dang it Rey does no one look at you before you go out there?  Orton is very cocky here and therefore awesome.

Kurt got the title when Batista was injured and Kurt won a battle royal.  See, that’s the perk of having guys like him or Shawn.  Got an injury?  Need a totally credible main eventer to throw in there?  How about Kurt Angle or Shawn Michaels as world champion?  I think most people would be cool with that.  I would be.

Orton jumps Kurt and the fight is on.  Kurt is on the floor and Orton gets a dropkick on Rey for two.  Angle gets back in and grabs a German on Orton.  Then he suplexes both at once and Rey goes FLYING.  That was awesome looking.  Angle is all fired up here.  Belly to belly to Orton as Kurt is killing it.  Rey hammers away at baldie and the fans audibly boo.  But it’s about EDDIE!!!

In a great spot, Orton is sitting on the ropes and Rey charges at Angle.  Angle grabs him and launches him over Kurt’s head and Rey lands in a perfect rana on Orton for two.  Angle suplexes Orton back into the ring and the fans are behind him.  Rey gets a kick to Kurt’s head to take him down for two.  The fans chant 619 and Rey gets a headscissors to Kurt who crawls into the 619 position like an idiot.

Ok maybe not so much of an idiot as Kurt grabs the ankle lock out of nowhere.  Orton distracts the referee so the tapping by Rey isn’t seen.  Kurt and Orton slug it out but I guess Kurt gets bored so he suplexes everyone in sight and hits the Angle Slam to Rey to the floor.  Ankle lock to Orton and Kurt gets the grapevine.  Rey pulls the referee out as Orton taps so Kurt has won twice in theory.

Kurt throws it on again but this time Rey drops the dime to break it up for two.  Fans aren’t thrilled by that at all.  Rey is sent into the post but Orton counters the Angle Slam and hits the RKO for two.  Randy goes up so Kurt pops up the corner and gets the belly to belly.  Rey botches the 619 then does it right.

Seated Senton gets two on Kurt.  Orton kicks Kurt to the floor and gets a slick backbreaker into a neckbreaker for two on Rey.  He sets for the RKO but Angle hits the Slam on him for two.  Rey avoids the Slam and sends Kurt to the floor via an armdrag.  619 sets up the West Coast Pop to Orton to give Rey his first world title in less than ten minutes.  Seriously, that’s it?

Rating: D+. Seriously, that’s it?  The match was ok but for a world title match at Wrestlemania, that’s it?  How many world title matches have you seen at Wrestlemania that don’t crack nine and a half minutes?  The title reign was awful, namely due to him being booked like a joke but that’s another story.  The match was ok but I thought it was clipped as it was so ridiculously short.

HHH and Cena are getting ready.  The fans are clearly behind HHH here, openly booing Cena.  Ross says most of the fans are traditional as he’s clearly out of stuff to talk about.  Maybe a match ran short?  LOUD Cena Sucks chant.

Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle

This is a Playboy Pillow Fight and the reason they were stalling I guess.  Candice is introduced from the wrong city.  JR says the gate tonight is over $2 million dollars.  That’s insane to say the least, especially considering this isn’t a stadium and has less than 20,000 people.  Torrie’s music was recycled and is now used by Laycool.  She has a freaking dog with her.  Ross makes my head feel better by saying the next show is in Lexington.  That made me smile.

These two had both been in Playboy.  There’s a bed in the ring and pillows and all that jazz.  You win by pin or submission.  Do I need to explain what’s going on here?  They’ve in evening gowns, they don’t stay on long, Torrie wins and they’re in very little clothing.  We’re done.  This got nearly 4 minutes.  Yes, this got almost half as long as the world title match.  This couldn’t have been added to that match perhaps?  I guess not.

Rating: F. Long, dull, and a waste of my time.

We see some clips from the Wrestlemania press conference.  Cena and HHH cut basic promos about being champion post show.

No real backstory here.  Cena was champion and HHH won some worthless tournament.
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. HHH

HHH comes out looking like Conan’s mostly metrosexual brother. He’s wearing a fur pelt and a crown and a breastplate. He rises from a throne to play up the King of Kings bit. He looks absurd but at least after a few seconds we switch over to All About The Game which is a better song I think.

We then see…a newsreel about the Great Depression? Yes indeed, as we hear about the rise of Capone and organized crime in Chicago. The stage rises again as a 1930s era car comes out and fake gangsters armed with Tommy guns ride out. As a geek note, the one on camera side is clearly none other than CM Punk! Total mark out moment for me there as the gangsters surround the ring.

Even the fans are confused here. Cena’s music finally hits and he is booed out of the freaking building. He comes out in a black suit and fedora which would have been awesome had it not been for him wearing shorts and making the trench coat look like a bathrobe. He fires some blanks (honey it happens to a lot of guys I swear) and throws off the coat to reveal his t-shirt and the main event black shorts. We get the big match introductions which will never get old.

HHH is introduced as the Cerebral Assassin, the King of Kings, the Game, the 10 Time Champion.  Cena is introduced as the Dr. of Thuganomics.  They even get checked for weapons.  That’s not something you see anymore.  After a long staredown process they lock up and HHH grabs a headlock into a hammerlock.  Technical stuff to start here.

Back to the arm stuff as we’re in a feeling out process here.  The fans are all over Cena with a huge F YOU CENA chant.  Cena tries an FU early but HHH reverses and DRILLS Cena with a right hand to take him down.  Cena has to reset a bit as a HHH chant starts.  The Game throws him to the floor as they definitely haven’t gotten going full speed yet.

HHH plays to the crowd but Cena sneaks up on him and hammers away.  Back drop gets two.  Fisherman’s Suplex with a floatover gets two also and we hit the chinlock.  YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chant starts up which is just hilarious at this point.  Cena throws him into the corner and HHH goes over the top and out to the floor.  Out onto the aisle and HHH wants a Piledriver but is backdropped onto the steel instead.

Cena’s main offense has been the right hand and I can’t blame him at all for that.  HHH fights back and chokes away.  Out to the floor for a bit and Cena’s shoulder goes into the steps.  Now why would HHH let the referee count?  It’s giving Cena a chance to breathe and he won’t win the title that way.  I guess you could argue it lets HHH rest.

Back in and HHH hits a suplex and Flair knee drop.  Facebuster gets a big pop and a clothesline puts Cena down for two.  HHH is covering after almost every move or two that he does which is a very nice thing for him to do.  It makes him seem like he wants to win every time which is the idea.  They slug it out but another neckbreaker takes Cena down for two.

Modified chinlock/neck vice goes on and Cena is in trouble.  Cena fights up but walks into a sleeper.  He hasn’t had a steady string of offense all match other than a brief one about 8 minutes ago.  John fights out and takes HHH’s head off with a clothesline and both guys are down for a bit.  Powerslam puts HHH down and Cena is in control.

Protoplex sets up the 5 Knuckle Shuffle.  The shot of Cena looking at the crowd before he goes for it is great.  HHH gets up and catches him in a spinebuster for a long two.  Nice move there.  Right back to the sleeper but Cena reverses quickly into the Shuffle which hits this time.  He pumps the shoes and grabs the STFU out of nowhere.

In a nice show of strength though HHH crawls to the ropes and we’re not done yet.  FU is reversed and the referee is crushed in the corner.  HHH throws a low blow and hits both guys.  Crotch chop to Cena as we have more DX foreshadowing.  There’s the sledgehammer but Cena blocks it and hammers away (no pun intended) until a shot to the head takes him down.  THAT somehow gets two.

Pedigree is reversed and here comes Cena.  FU hits and gets two which results in an eruption from the crowd.  Dang good match here so far.  Cena has no idea what else to do as both of his finishers have more or less failed.  A splash of all things misses but the Pedigree is countered into another STFU and the referee checks the arm.  HHH keeps it up (Stephanie says yay!) but then after almost a minute in the hold HHH taps and Cena keeps the title.

Rating: A-. Great match here and definitely Mania main event worthy, but the problem comes down to this doesn’t feel epic.  It’s a great match but at the same time it looks like just another title defense for Cena.  This would have been a lot better if HHH had come in with the title and Cena had taken it here, but at the same time this worked fine.

Overall Rating: B. If there was a rating between B- and B this would get it.  The whole thing is good overall but there are some spots that make you shake your head.  For instance the Booker match, the pillow fight thing, the World Heavyweight Championship match, the MITB being so short etc.  It’s a good shot, but it’s nothing I’d want to see over and over.  It’s good for a rainy day but that’s about it.  Recommended but not incredibly highly.

 




Monday Night Raw – March 28, 2011 – One Last Stop

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 28, 2011
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Josh Matthews

This is the final show before Wrestlemania.  That being said there probably won’t be a lot of in ring action tonight as WWE is afraid of having any injuries before the biggest night of the year. The main story tonight though is that the Rock will be live in the arena tonight for the first time in almost a month.  The staredown with Rock and Cena should be awesome.  Let’s get to it.

We open with Punk sitting in the ring and being cheered loudly.  He says he’s going to miss the Mania sign when he gets to Atlanta.  Punk lives in reality while Orton lives in a fantasy world.  He doesn’t care what happens to the people or to New Nexus.  This causes a Randy chant as Punk gets the smark crowd against him with one sentence.  Not bad.  It’s not his fault that they got punted in the head.  Punk talks about how Orton built up a psychological advantage which meant nothing.

We get a clip of the bus attack last week which is still rather weak.  Punk claims that Orton cost him a title and now Punk has cost Orton his respect.  This chapter closes at Wrestlemania.  Cue Orton with a big bandage on his knee.  After a very slow walk he gets into the ring but gets beaten down by Punk.

And never mind as a single uppercut turns the tide and Orton gets the elevated DDT.  Orton sets for the Punt but the knee gives out.  There are dueling chants here as Punk gets back in the ring.  He gets a shot to the knee and Orton is in trouble.  GTS leaves Orton laying.

Christian stops to get Edge as apparently they’re up next.  Apparently the Raw GM has allowed Edge to fight Alberto tonight.

Edge/Christian vs. Brodus Clay/Alberto Del Rio

 

Edge vs. Brodus to start us off here and it’s off to Christian quickly.  Christian knocks Clay to the floor and dives on him, only to get caught.  Edge gets a baseball slide into the back of Christian to send Brodus down and we take a break.  Back with Del Rio working on the arm of Christian.  Off to Clay who gets two as Lawler and Cole argue about hair.  Del Rio gets a middle rope elbow for two.

Tornado DDT out of the corner puts Del Rio down and here comes both Edge and Clay.  Nice pop for the tag to Edge.  Cross body fails for Edge but he avoids a powerslam to get an Edge-O-Matic for two.  Del Rio breaks up the spear and Christian breaks up Del Rio.  Brodus misses a charge and the spear ends him at 5:42 shown of 8:12.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent tag match here with them having a nice way to get everyone in the ring at once.  Christian and Clay have been nice additions to this feud as we’ve been able to avoid the stupid staredowns and debates and various other things like that.  Not a bad match here and it keeps there from being any real contact between Edge and Del Rio before the PPV.

Both Edge and Christian get stuck in the cross armbreaker as Del Rip and Clay leave them laying.

Apparently Trish and Snooki are in a bar in Jersey.  This was taped last week and Snooki was three hours late based on various reports.  Not a good sign.

Sin Cara is coming.

Miz and Riley are setting up a WWE logo to be the M version from last week.  The title looks like that now as well.

There’s an E-Mail and Cole has a computer in his box.  He has an Ipad now.  The GM needs to know if Lawler is ready for Wrestlemania after what Cole did to him last week.  Swagger vs. Lawler tonight.

We get a video about HHH vs. Undertaker which is set to a song about outrunning the devil and numbers.  We also get highlight videos of both guys’ careers and their matches at Mania.  HHH says if he can’t end the Streak, he’ll die trying.

Back with the Corre in the ring.  Apparently Justin Gabriel is in action….so here are Show and Kane?  And Kozlov and Santino.  Santino is the opponent.  Ok then.

Santino Marella vs. Justin Gabriel

 

The long talked about 8 man tag of Santino/Kozlov/Big Show/Kane vs. Corre is announced.  Gabriel gets an incredibly fast kick for two and locks on a modified chicken wing.  Santino comes back and sets for the Cobra but Slater distracts him.  Kane takes him out and it’s a big brawl on the floor.  Here comes the Corba and we’re done at 1:49.  Just a quick match to set up the 8 man on Sunday.

Post match everyone does Santino’s trombone thing, even Kane.  There’s a meme waiting to happen.

Some R&B singer is singing America the Beautiful.  That means….no Justin Bieber?  This Mania just got AWESOME!

HHH and Taker have their showdown next.

Here comes the Deadman and that Johnny Cash theme is rapidly growing on me.  Here comes HHH and as he sets to do the water spit, the gong goes off and the lights go out.  They come back on…and everything is just as it was.  They stare each other down, and here’s Shawn Michaels!  He does belong in a WWE ring for Mania week.  Huge HBK chant starts up.

Shawn says there was no way he was going to miss this.  Taker and HHH have barely stopped staring each other down.  Taker is either looking at Shawn or his eyes are rolled back in his head.  It’s at Shawn.  You could only see the whites of his eyes and with him you never can tell.  Shawn talks about how great both of them are and how huge this is.

He keeps talking before turning to HHH and asking why in the world would you think you can do what I couldn’t.  HHH says Shawn got soft somewhere along the way and that Shawn realized he didn’t have to win to be Mr. Wrestlemania.  HHH says that he has to win and he will.  The Game turns to Taker and says that when he got here he saw one guy that held everything together.  He lists off a lot of injuries Taker has worked through and how HHH has looked up to Undertaker his entire career and molded himself after Undertaker.

The only person that HHH admires and respects in wrestling as much as the Undertaker is Shawn.  Years ago Shawn and HHH made a pact that if either of them could ever not do it anymore they would tell the other so.  If the other couldn’t accept it, they would force it on them.  HHH looks at Undertaker and says that it’s time for Undertaker to stop.  He’ll always respect Undertaker, but in six days the Streak is over.  HHH says he’s the one, as in 18-1.  Good line.  Taker hasn’t said a word yet.  The Streak rests in peace on Sunday.

Undertaker grabs the mic from HHH and says that if the time ever comes for someone to put him down, he wants it to be HHH.  But it’s not his time.  HHH is going to kill himself trying but the Streak will still be alive and so will Undertaker.  Wait, Undertaker is alive?  I thought he was a zombie.  Taker says that if HHH doesn’t want to take Taker’s word for it, ask Shawn.

Shawn walks around being the man that gave Undertaker the best Mania matches of his career and he came that close to beating it.  Shawn seems bothered by this.  Taker says he looks at Shawn and sees a man that he humbled.  Shawn is a man that is going into the Hall of Fame as a man full of regrets and as a man whose career Undertaker ended.

Shawn grabs the mic and tries a superkick but gets caught in an attempted chokeslam.  HHH breaks it up and they stare each other down again.  HHH tells Shawn to tell Taker why HHH will win at Mania.  Shawn doesn’t move and HHH turns to look at him.  Both guys look at Shawn as the people chant one more match.  Shawn leaves and HHH shouts at him but Shawn says something we can’t hear.  The camera shifts so we can see Shawn say I’m sorry and something that looked like “I can’t do it.”  Shawn leaves with that.

HHH and Undertaker look at each other, Taker laughs and tips his hat and Johnny Cash plays him out.  Long segment that I have a feeling is going to get a very mixed reception. Good stuff, but not good enough to make this match as epic as they were shooting for.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jack Swagger

 

Lawler has different music here.  Cole pops up on the apron and gets down just before Lawler hits him.  Swagger takes over and a Vader Bomb crushes him.  Out to the floor and Jerry is thrown into the time keeper’s area.  Lawler gets a right hand in and pops Swagger with a chair for the DQ at 1:20.  That’s really the only ending they could go with here.  Lawler goes after Cole but the security holds him back as Jerry tries to get in through the top of the box.  Cole throws his drink at him and Jerry backs off.

We recap the mixed tag from last week and here’s Vickie with sunglasses ala Morrison.  She does his pose with his music and pyro behind her.  We even get slow motion.  She says that she has a message for Snooki.  After the match Sunday, Snooki will be passed out and unconscious as always.  Vickie’s evil laugh is pretty awesome.

Dolph Ziggler/Sheamsu vs. Daniel Bryan/John Morrison

 

Nice pop for Morrison.  Sheamus vs. Morrison to start Flash Kick doesn’t work as Morrison jumps into the Irish Curse for two as we take a break.  Back with the same pairing as before the break as Sheamus locks on a bow and arrow hold.  Morrison fights out of it with a dropkick and it’s a double tag.

Bryan comes in and cleans house as he locks in the LeBell Lock to Ziggler.  Sheamus makes the save as Morrison kicks Ziggler in the head.  Apparently Sheamus is legal now.  I don’t remember a tag but ok then.  Morrison and Ziggler hit the floor and the LeBell Lock doesn’t work.  Sheamus hits the High Cross which Cole calls Pale Justice.  It’s a Razor’s Edge either way and it ends it at 2:44 shown of 6:14.

Rating: C-. Not really enough to grade but this is a quick way to get some build in for both matches.  Always been a fan of that as it’s a very good way to kill two birds with one stone.  I’d love to see these four get more time in the ring as it could be something rather good.  This wasn’t much from a wrestling standpoint but it wasn’t terrible I guess.

Orton is having his knee iced down and says that he’ll make it to Mania.  He has anger management issues and has hurt people he didn’t know just because he could.  He’s never despised anyone until now so the question isn’t can he make it to Mania but rather can Punk make it out of Mania.

Time for the Hall of Fame inductee of the night.  It’s the LEGION OF DOOM!!!!! It’s about freaking time!  We get a nice video package on them and apparently Paul Ellering is going in with them.  That makes the class LOD, Ellering, Shawn Michaels, Sunny, Bullet Bob Armstrong, Abdullah the Butcher and Jim Duggan.  I leave out Drew Carey for reasons of idiocy.

Snooki and Trish are at a bar and oh my goodness Snooki is drunk.  Some Jersey guy is annoying them constantly.  Snooki slaps him and he gets taken out.  This was rather pointless and lasted maybe a minute.

We cut to Matthews and then back to the bar as Laycool is there.  Big brawl breaks out and they get pulled apart, making this whole thing maybe 80 seconds.

Back and it’s time.  The Rock is here on the big screen and there’s the music.  HUGE Rocky chant goes up and it takes awhile to get to the talking.  This is a special city to Rock as his first Wrestlemania was here.  On that night, he was nervous but he brought it.  That night he founded Team Bring It which everyone is a part of.  On Team Bring It you don’t worry about what’s coming and you go after your dreams.

Recently Rock has had a dream of his own.  In this dream he came to the ring and called out John Cena.  Mad heat for the mere mention of Cena’s name.  The fans chant Cena sucks.  He doesn’t have a chance tonight.  Rock says Cena looks like a homeless Power Ranger.  Rock talks about Cena and how tonight, Rock is here with the MILLIONS.

Cue Cena who is looking rather chipper.  Hokey smoke this is epic.  Not total booing for Cena when he first comes out but when he starts talking it changes a bit.  Cena says this is what he finally wanted: Rock back in a WWE ring.  This is where Rock belongs according to Cena.  The fans chant for Rocky.  When Cena started talking about him years ago he was one of the millions.  He didn’t understand why Rock left because Cena wanted Rock back for moments like these when Rock has the people in the palm of his hands.  If Rock doesn’t believe Cena, Rock should listen to them.

If Rock still doesn’t believe him, Rock should feel the electricity.  When Rock came back he was smoking and it was an honor to have Rock make fun of him.  Cena takes a jab at the via satellite moments and Cena wanted to know…..something we have to wait on as the fans chant Cena Sucks a bit more.  Cena wants to know what problem Rock had with him.  That’s a good question actually.  Cena says that he looked past all the jokes and catchphrases and found a lot of problems Rock had with him.

Who in the world is Rock to tell Cena how to dress or what to listen to or who his audience should be?  If that is what it takes to be on Team Bring It then Cena wants nothing to do with it.  Cena knows there are people that hate him and he’s not going to change for them or for anyone.  He’ll be judged at the end of the day but it won’t be by Rock.

There were things like the colors and the way he talks.  Also the music and the hustle, loyalty and respect.  The one that surprises Cena though is that Rock’s audience is kids.  That’s right and Cena is proud of what he is and who he’s become.  Rock hasn’t taken his eyes off Cena the whole time.  Cena morphs into Super Cena, saying that if Rock has a problem with Cena working as hard as he has, there’s something to talk about.

Rock says the good Lord will be the one to judge them and gets in Cena’s face.  Even the good Lord can’t save Cena from Rock whipping him all over Chicago.  Cena says if you want to fight there’s nothing stopping you and throws the mic down.  Here’s Miz and he has a LOT to live up to.  Miz says that he’s tired of being overshaddowed by the O Brothers: Overrated and Overhyped.  Cena will lose at Wrestlemania, but he’ll go down fighting, unlike The Rock.

Miz says he knows a secret.  Rocky isn’t going to do a thing tonight because Rock isn’t going to risk losing a movie career to get beaten up and embarrassed by Miz.  That’s not a risk, but rather a guaran-darn-tee that if Rock even looks at Miz Rock will never be able to set foot in Hollywood after the beating Miz gives him.  Rock can talk all he wants and it won’t matter.  Rock says it doesn’t matter what Miz thinks.

Riley jumps Rock and the beating is on.  Riley is knocked to the floor as Cena is gone.  Rock takes down Miz with a DDT and botches the nip up.  Oh Cena is on the floor.  People’s Elbow to Miz who is thrown to the floor.  Rock turns around and it’s an Attitude Adjustment to Rock as the booing is insane.  Rock can’t see Cena as he leaves.  Cena points to the Mania sign and we’re off the air.

Overall Rating: C+. Well the wrestling was very light this week but at the same time that was expected.  Obviously they can’t risk an injury to Miz or Cena in a pointless match…yet the other world title match participants had a match.  It’s almost as if that match means nothing in the grand scheme of things.  Anyway this was a solid build up show with I think every match getting at least some camera time.  That’s a good sign and much better than the previous few go home shows for Wrestlemania.  I liked this for the most part but some stuff could have been changed.  Good overall though.

Results

Edge/Christian b. Alberto Del Rio/Brodus Clay – Spear to Clay

Santino Marella b. Justin Gabriel – Cobra

Jack Swagger b. Jerry Lawler via DQ when Lawler used a chair

Sheamus/Dolph Ziggler b. Daniel Bryan/John Morrison – High Cross to Bryan




Smackdown – March 25, 2011 – Smackdown Goes International

Smackdown
Date: March 25, 2011
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

After last week’s awesome show we’re here at the last real show before the big one.  Next week is going to be a clip/review/highlight show which I can’t say I blame them for.  I’d want to get to Atlanta as intact as I could also.  Probably more with Alberto vs. Christian/Edge tonight which I really hope doesn’t turn into a triple threat at Mania.  Anyway let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s main event inside the cage and the big beatdowns that followed, one to Edge and one to Christian.  Edge has a bad arm now due to Del Rio and his Conchairto to the arm.

Edge is complaining to Teddy about the injuries.  There’s been a ruling apparently that Edge thinks is geared towards Alberto.  Teddy insists it’s in the best interests of the company.  Edge can’t touch Del Rio and vice versa or they’re both off Mania.  The classics never die.

Theme song hits.  Get your reinforcements.  And get a new joke for me because that one has gotten really old.

Rey Mysterio vs. CM Punk

 

Not a bad way to start things off.  This is another Wrestlemania Rewind match.  We hear a lot about Cody, more or less saying he’ll be making an appearance in this match.  We get a clip from the bus incident from Monday which is just a failure.  This feud started out white hot and is now awful.  Wow we’re only 9 nights away from Mania.  That’s awesome.

Punk takes him into the corner and stomps away to start us off.  Rey speeds things up a bit and gets a headscissors to send Punk into the 619 position.  Big swinging kick to Punk’s head gets two.  Springboard cross body misses and here comes Punk.  They’re going through the motions here which is rather odd from these two.  Can Booker say anything besides “almost got him right there”?

Abdominal stretch goes on which doesn’t last long as Punk is sent out to the floor.  Rey jumps on his shoulders but is launched ribs first into the barrier.  Back with Punk in control in the ring with a body scissors.  Punk uses various offense on the ribs which makes perfect sense.  The fans chant 619 and Punk smiles.  Cross body gets two for CM.

An attempt at a second cross body off the top eats a dropkick though and both guys are down for a few seconds.  Rey uses some leverage to send Punk out to the floor and hits an Asai Moonsault to take Punk down.  And just as it was obvious about, here’s Cody to send Rey into the post for the DQ at 5:30 shown of 9:00.

Rating: B-. This was good while it lasted but the length and the ending hurt it a bit.  They started off going through the motions but it got better after the break.  See what happens when you put good workers together and give them a few minutes?  You get a pretty good match.  What are the odds of that?

Cody beats up Rey post match and exposes a metal knee brace which he rams into the head of Mysterio to leave him laying.  Nice little touch of continuity there.

Edge is in his locker room when Christian comes in.  Christian isn’t sure that Edge fighting Drew McIntyre later is a good idea.  Edge says it’s cool and that he’ll be in Christian’s corner against Alberto.

Undertaker responds to HHH later tonight.  Dude can they do ANYTHING but respond to each other?

Edge vs. Drew McIntyre

Both guys have cool music.  What in the world happened to Drew?  He was the hottest thing in the world what, six months ago?  Tiffany better be awesome in bed to cost him this much of a push.  Edge stomps a Canadian mudhole into Drew but Drew goes right after Edge’s arm like a smart man.  The psychology has been good here tonight.  After some more work on the arm, Drew goes up and Edge is able to pull him off.

So much for the momentum though as Edge can’t use the Edgecution.  That’s a good thing as instead of just shaking his arm, Edge is selling the move to the point that he can’t use his offense.  Little things like those make a big difference.  Futureshock is reversed by a backdrop and it’s the Edgecator (the kneeling Sharpshooter hold) for the tap out at 2:25.  No rating but this was fine.  Edge spears Drew post match.

The Taker/HHH video from Smackdown eats up a few minutes.

Kelly Kelly/Rosa Mendes vs. Laycool

 

Laycool is dressed up like Snooki including the hairdo.  The non Flawless girls take then down and it’s a big brawl to start.  This is totally nothing as it’s more or less just a quick brawl with Layla beating Rosa in 1:08 with the Layout.

Laycool runs down their Mania opponents and say that Snooki may be famous but she’ll never be *fist pump* flawless.

We recap Corre vs. Show/Kane last week and the big beatdown.

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Wade Barrett

 

Kofi fires off some strikes and gets two off a dropkick.  Lots of early covers by Kofi here.  Corre is outside the ring, meaning in this match we have: a guy from Ghana (Ghanan?  Ghanian?  I’m really not sure what the right term is there), an Englishman, a South African, a South American and an American.  It’s remarkable how international WWE is getting, including people like Sheamus, Mason Ryan and Sin Cara.  Good idea too.

Kofi tries to go to the middle rope for something with his back to Barrett but gets kicked off as Barrett takes over.  Big boot puts Kofi on the floor.  That looked great.  Boss Man Slam gets two and it’s off to a bow and arrow.  Middle rope elbow misses for Barrett and here comes Kingston.  The cross body gets two and there’s the Boom Drop.  He sets for Trouble in Paradise but Corre distracts him.  The delay doesn’t really work as Kofi fires the kick but Barrett ducks and catches Kofi on his shoulders for the Wasteland.  That was awesome looking and it gives Barrett the title at 5:10.

Rating: B-. I like Barrett’s in ring style and this was a good example of that.  He mixes things up out there and it works rather well when he gets to use his various stuff.  Most importantly though: this gives Barrett something.  He hadn’t won anything since the first season of NXT and now he has something concrete on his resume.  That’s been lacking for him so I’m well pleased here.  Pretty good match too.

Alberto wants to hurt Edge but Teddy says he’s not allowed.  Albert says Teddy doesn’t have the guts to ban him from Mania.  Teddy says there have been 26 Wrestlemanias without Del Rio and Teddy can make it 27.  That was a good comeback actually.

Cue Undertaker with the Johnny Cash music so I guess it’s staying.  He stays on the stage to address HHH.  Taker says the more things change, the more they stay the same.  HHH thinks he can break the Streak, which is what everyone has said.  Taker says that soon HHH will learn he can’t do it.  This is all going to be said to HHH’s face on Monday.

HHH’s number is coming up and everything goes on the line at Mania.  That number is nineteen.  Good ending to the promo, but good grief I could not be less hyped about this match if I tried to be.  The lack of contact has really hurt it a lot.  Also the lack of an actual reason for them to fight.

Jack Swagger vs. R-Truth

 

We get a clip from Monday of Swagger beating up Lawler.  Truth’s singing sounds off.  Cole goes into full on psycho heel mode here as we get going.  Belly to belly by Swagger gets two.  Cole and Booker get into a cheerleading contest as Swagger takes over.  Truth pulls the top rope down and a charging Swagger hits the floor.

Truth seems to be limping a bit and he dives out to the floor.  He’s clearly not on full strength as that dive was weak looking and he landed on his shoulder it seemed.  Back in the ring and Truth goes up, only to get dropped and have his leg caught in the rope.  Swagger gives Truth’s leg a DDT and the ankle lock ends it at 2:50.  Cole talks about being in a dojo with Swagger which freaks Booker out.  Just a glorified squash for Swagger here.

Cole “raps” to Truth post match and runs him down.  He and Swagger take a victory lap.  That’s going to be an epic beating when it finally happens.  I’d love to see an army of people come out and hit their finishers on him like what happened to Bischoff at the first One Night Stand.

We see the ending of Raw with the Miz/Cena segment which was great.

That transitions into running down the Mania card.  Del Rio’s graphic has him in a robe kind of thing.  When has he ever been in that?

Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian

 

There’s a ton of time left in the show here so this could be long.  I think it’s a Mercedes this week.  Brodus and Edge are the seconds here.  Solid pop for Christian.  Christian gets the clapping going and it’s time to go.  Shoulder gets two for the Canadian.  Alberto gets Christian in the corner and stomps him down but is backdropped over the corner and out to the floor.

Big cross body takes Del Rio down on the outside as we take a break.  Back with Christian getting a sunset flip out of the corner for two and Del Rio hits the floor.  Baseball slide misses and Del Rio shoves Christian into the barrier to take over again.  Fast paced stuff here.  Arm bar goes onto Christian which doesn’t last long.

Senton back splash off the middle rope gets two for Del Rio.  Armbar again doesn’t stay on long as Christian is put on the mat.  Edge distracts Del Rio a bit and Christian gets a rana off the second rope for two.  Christian starts a comeback but a top rope cross body misses.  The corner enziguri misses and Christian gets a tornado DDT for two as Ricardo puts the foot on the rope.

Edge goes after Ricardo but it’s Brodus with the save.  Cross armbreaker is attempted by Del Rio but Christian flips into the Killswitch.  That gets countered also and Del Rio hits an enziguri to put Christian down for a long two.  Crowd is way into this.  Cross armbreaker goes on but Christian grabs a rope.  Both guys are down as Edge spears Clay and pops him with a chair.  Christian reverses the armbreaker into the Killswitch to end it at 8:49 shown of 12:19.

Rating: B+. Good stuff here indeed as again you give two guys time and the match works much better.  The arm was the story throughout the match and in the end another attempt at going for it cost Del Rio.  Good match here but I do kind of question Alberto losing back to back matches mostly clean in a row heading into Mania.

Christian pops Del Rio with a chair since Edge isn’t allowed to, ending the show.

Overall Rating: A-. Another strong outing from Smackdown this week as they go into Mania on a high note, yet with almost none of the focus being on them as usual.  It’s really starting to get awkward with Christian as he’s been in the main event scene the entire time for this feud yet he doesn’t have a match at the PPV.  I don’t want a triple threat though as we need a one on one match for the title.  Very good stuff here and my faith in Smackdown is restored.

Results

Rey Mysterio b. CM Punk via DQ when Cody Rhodes interfered

Edge b. Drew McIntyre – Edgecator

Laycool b. Rosa Mendes/Kelly Kelly – Layout to Mendes

Wade Barrett b. Kofi Kingston – Wasteland

Jack Swagger b. R-Truth – Ankle Lock

Christian b. Alberto Del Rio – Killswitch




Monday Night Raw – March 21, 2011: Not Much Here

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 21, 2011
Location: CONSOL Energy Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Jerry Lawler

With less than two weeks to go before Wrestlemania it’s pretty clear that the card is set.  That being said, it now means that the TV is probably going to get dull as all we have is padding for the upcoming PPV.  I’m not looking for a lot on the next two weeks and next week in particular.  Nothing that I can think of is announced for tonight, so let’s get to it.

We open with Good Old…..Michael Cole in a fat suit with his ankle taped and a bottle of barbecue sauce.  It took the crowd a bit to get the idea but they finally boo the heck out of him.  Cole has cotton in his mouth to simulate Ross’ voice issues.  Funny stuff.

HHH opens us up properly.  His entrances might take longer than Undertaker’s if that’s possible.  HHH talks about how this is the biggest match of his career and how people are finally talking about the match with the signs like 19-0 and 18-1.  He actually says the Streak is bigger than any championship.  I’m kind of surprised to hear that.  HHH wants Undertaker to be here next week for a staredown.  He talks about Taker’s song and that once the Streak is over, Taker is done and that at Mania Undertaker will rest in peace.  Weak promo indeed.

HHH starts to leave but here’s…..Ted DiBiase?  As in Junior.  What the heck does he think he’s doing here?  He talks about how last year he was a rising star and now he’s just another guy.  What would happen if he took out HHH right now on live TV?  Well at least he knows he means nothing.  DiBiase gets in a few shots but winds up getting beaten down to the shock of no one.  HHH beats on DiBiase with a chair and I guess this is to show how ruthless he is.  Pedigree through the announce table and DiBiase is dead.

Cena will be here via satellite tonight.  Oh there are a ton of jokes there.

Miz will be rewriting “Miz-Tory” tonight.  Ok then.

Evan Bourne vs. Sheamus

 

This is non-title I think and is happening due to Bourne getting that quick win a few weeks back.  Total Sheamus dominance to start us off here but Bourne gets a kick to put Sheamus down.  Since almost the only move he has is the Shooting Star he tries that and misses.  Brogue Kick ends this in 1:24.

Sheamus says he’s the new US Champion and is awesome.  Bryan comes out and wants his rematch at Mania.  Sheamus kicks him in the head and leaves him laying.  Gee remember a few weeks ago when so many people said Sheamus got buried and I said you were wrong and it wasn’t a burial?  Care to say that you all ran your mouths now and have no idea what you’re talking about?  Go ahead.  Anytime now.

It’s Wrestlemania Rewind tonight with Orton vs. Mysterio vs. the invisible and unnamed Kurt Angle apparently.

Back with Orton getting off a bus and having some interviewer asking him how he’s doing.  Orton talks about being on the bus and liking having his family with him and that he loves watching the video of him punting Nexus over and over again.  All we really get out of this is that he has a bus.  And I’m sure Punk isn’t going to do anything to that bus later.  Not a thing.

Maryse vs. Eve Torres

 

Non title again as I guess Maryse is heel on Raw and face on NXT.  She gets slapped down as this is about as riveting as you would expect it to be.  After nothing of note is going on, Cole AGAIN interrupts them on the mic and says he has something else to announce tonight that is special and we need to get this match over with.  Standing moonsault to Maryse gets knees but she hits a spinning neckbreaker to end it at 2:20.  Eve goes after Cole and his security takes her out.

Back with Corre in the ring as the tag champions are on Raw for once.  We get a clip from Smackdown of Corre beating the tar out of Kane and Big Show which was nowhere near as epic as they were trying to make it out to be.

Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater vs. Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov

 

It’s not a good sign that I had the non-champions names written in before their music hit because they’re the Raw face tag team.  Gabriel vs. Santino to start and Santino wants the Cobra.  He gets his head kicked off instead and it’s off to Slater for the chinlock.  Off to Kozlov as Barrett gets involved.  Slater gets a reverse DDT and the 450 ends this at 1:47.  Total squash.

Show and Kane come down for the save post match.  They clean house and leave Corre laying, including Jackson after a double chokeslam.  I’m guessing this will be at Mania somehow as all four faces stand mostly tall.

Cena’s interview is up next.

Back and we recap Miz destroying Cena to end last week and the last few weeks’ worth of shows.

Cena says that he’s injured and it’s because of Miz. Miz is impressive and deserves to be champion. This is serious Cena here and it’s rather short with one major thing being said: Rock and Cena in the same ring next week. They had to do it sooner or later, but I would have waited until Wrestlemania. Give the fans something very important to see.

Cole’s announcement is up next.

Back with Cole and Swagger running around the ring.  Swagger goes out in front of the announce table (which has been repaired after HHH broke it) and Cole talks about last week with Brian being here, which we get a clip of.  Apparently Brian Christopher sent Cole a gift: the Lawler Family Photo Album.

We get some pictures of Lawler’s father with Cole saying what Lawler’s father is thinking.  Naturally they’re all insults.  Cole says he went to Memphis this week and found out that Lawler and Lawler’s father are very similar: they’re both bullies that back down when someone puts them in their place, like Cole is going to do at Mania.  Lawler has Swagger two feet in front of him which is why he hasn’t charged the ring yet.

Cole calls the Lawler family a bunch of losers and Lawler snaps.  He beats up Swagger a bit and goes after Cole but Swagger gets up and beats him down.  Cole hides in the box and Swagger shoves Lawler’s face into the box while Swagger keeps insulting him.  Ankle lock goes on as does the AnCole Lock (and no I’m not making that name up) which Lawler taps to.  Mad heat on Cole and Swagger as we go to a break.  The build for this has been awesome to say the least.

Mania hype video which is pretty good.  Hard to believe it’s only 13 days away.

Cole apologizes for no apparent reason at all.

That transitions us to talking about…..Snooki.  DAng it.  It’s a recap plus all the media talking about this match and trying to use wrestling lingo while sounding like imbeciles.

Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison

 

Laycool and Vickie are with Dolph and Trish is with Morrison.  Ziggler takes him down to start but Morrison goes all angry.  That gets him caught in a neckbreaker for two to take him down.  Morrison gets going and hits a dropkick.  Michelle stops him from diving over the top and Trish fights off Laycool.  Trish winds up in the ring and it’s E-Mail time.  It’s now a 4-2 handicap match with Laycool/Vickie/Ziggler vs. Trish/Morrison which starts after the break.

Dolph Ziggler/Laycool/Vickie Guerrero vs. Trish Stratus/John Morrison

 

Back with the guys going at it.  Off to Trish and Layla who both look great.  Michelle kicks Trish in the back to shift the momentum and bring in the tall blonde.  I think she got tagged twice but whatever.  Knee to Trish’s head as Trish’s pants seem to be falling a bit.  Back off to Layla as Trish plays Ricky Morton for awhile.  Off to Vickie who misses a drop and it’s off to the men again.  The girls fight elsewhere while Morrison misses Starship Pain.  He gets sent into the post and Ziggler adds a Zig Zag.  Vickie gets the pin at 4:00 shown.

Rating: C. With the girls looking that good out there it’s really hard to say this wasn’t good.  They’re trying to build up Snooki as the X factor here which is what she probably should do at the end of the day.  Nothing too bad here but nothing great, so average sounds like a good grade for it.  The ending was fine and no, Morrison isn’t being buried.

Sin Cara video.  I was a bit underwhelmed the first time I saw this but the more I see it the more I want to see him.

Various stars and legends talk about HHH vs. Undertaker.  The weakest name in there is probably Morrison so they’re having a lot of big names in there.  Guys like Race, Ross, Lawler, Cena, Arn Anderson and Austin talk about it.  Shawn says nothing lasts forever.  Arn says it’s like winning 18 Super Bowls in a row.  Not really but we’ll go with that.

Rey Mysterio vs. Randy Orton

 

Mysterio’s entrance is after the break.  Back and we see the Orton bus clip from earlier but the audio is messed up.  Rey is in the black and yellow for the Steelers color scheme.  He takes Orton down to his knees but the equally tall from there Orton gets a European uppercut to take Rey down.  Orton does an evil look and throws Rey to the floor.

Back in and Orton’s knee drop gets two.  Rey fights back and gets the seated senton for two.  Orton might have had a chance to block it if he hadn’t been falling down before the move hit.  Orton tries the elevated DDT but Rey counters with something like a slingshot through Orton’s legs which is one of the only counters that I’ve ever seen that was somewhat realistic.  Orton blocks the 619 and hits the DDT.

Orton preps for the RKO but Punk pops up on the screen.  He’s in front of the tour bus from earlier and says he can’t wait to meet Orton’s wife.  Orton sprints to the back (we’ll say the match ended there, meaning it ended at 3:45) and gets jumped by Punk who hits Randy in the knee with a wrench.  Punk says Orton won’t be punting anyone at Mania.  “Now ain’t that a kick in the head.”

HHH and Undertaker will be face to face next week.

Rock will be live next week.

Alex Riley is in the ring which has a red carpet now.  Apparently he’s been rehired (presumably by Miz) as Vice President of Corporate Communications.  He introduces Miz who apparently was the best man at Riley’s wedding.  Miz talks about how people used to come from miles around to see Muhammad Ali and Michael Jordan perform and now people come to see Miz.

It’s his time now and while there have been Rock imitators over the years, his impression was the best.  He has more charisma than Shawn Michaels, is more dominant than Andre the Giant and is more intelligent than Rock and Cena combined.  He says that tonight he rewrites “Miztory” and he takes the mic cube off.  He holds it up and turns it upside down, making an M.

Behind him is a table with a sheet over it.  He and Riley pull it off to reveal the WWE Title with the W flipped upside down to make an M.  That’s the new title design apparently.  He hits the catchphrase and Cena pops up on the screen.  He points out that that’s kind of lame, which it is.  Cena says that the WWE Universe knows he’s not invincible and that they also know you shouldn’t make him mad.

Cena has a surprise for them.  Some people in Pittsburgh Penguins shirts pop up and take apart his walls, revealing that he’s really in the arena.  He didn’t lie when he said he was at home, because his home is here with the fans, just like he’s been for 9 years.  Points for being creative there at least.  Miz and Riley beat him down for awhile but Cena fights back.  Miz runs and Riley gets caught in the STF a few times.  Miz comes back but doesn’t come to the ring.  Cena’s music plays us out.

Overall Rating: D+. Yes this was a show based on building for the PPV but it was still pretty boring.  There was an extreme lack of wrestling which is understandable but it doesn’t make it any more interesting.  Not a horrible show but not a good one to say the least.  Rock is going to help next week but I can’t imagine it being anything great.

Results

Sheamus b. Evan Bourne – Brogue Kick

Eve Torres b. Maryse – Spinning Neckbreaker

Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater b. Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov – 450 to Kozlov

John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler went to a no contest when Laycool and Trish Stratus interfered

Dolph Ziggler/Vickie Guerrero/Laycool b. John Morrison/Trish Stratus – Guerrero pinned Morrison after a Zig Zag from Ziggler

Randy Orton vs. Rey Mysterio went to a no contest when Orton left the ring