Monday Night Raw – May 23, 2011 – A Lot Happened Here, Just Not Much Wrestling

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 23, 2011
Location: Rose Garden, Portland, Oregon
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Josh Matthews

We’re past Over the Limit and after another Cena torture movie he’s still WWE Champion.  Also Jerry Lawler finally got his revenge on Cole in a humiliating defeat.  Tonight we’ll start building towards Capitol Punishment in four weeks.  It should be interesting to see where we go from here as it seems a lot of feuds wrapped up last night.  Let’s get to it.

An in memory of Randy Savage graphic opens us up.

Theme song hits.

Here’s Lawler who says that the long national nightmare is over because Michael Cole has been beaten.  He said he had an ace up his sleeve last night.  Actually he had a Hart up his sleeve, and here’s the Hitman!  Bret says he’s always respected Jerry over the years as a competitor despite not always seeing things the same way.  He had no respect for Michael Cole though so he as glad to help him taste the agony of “de-feet”.

R-Truth of all people comes out to talk to Bret.  He says Bret must be a 90 time WWE Champion and wants Bret to ask him how many championship matches he’s had.  That would be zero because he didn’t care about the little Jimmys like Bret did.  He asks if there’s something he can give to the fans and asks to take Bret’s shades to give to the fans.

Truth finds a Little Jimmy in the front row and gives him the glasses.  “I’m a good R-Truth now.”  Now he thinks he should be next in line for a WWE Championship match but he isn’t.  Truth takes the glasses back and goes to see Bret again.  It’s about wins and losses, not giving the fans what they want.  He put out John Morrison and he beat Rey last night but now he needs to beat on a Hall of Famer.

Bret says go ahead and try it but he got championship matches because he’s the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be.  Truth doesn’t get championship matches because he’s a freaking lunatic.  Truth doesn’t like that but here’s Cena before we see what he says next.  Cena limps out and is clearly in pain.  It’s a mostly pro-Cena crowd tonight.

Cena chats with Bret for a bit and now it’s time to talk to the resident lunatic.  Cena says he and Truth used to be cool but now he lost his mind.  Truth: “Used to?  Used to is a rooster from Brewster.”  Well ok then.  This thing Truth has been on is all about Cena apparently.  The people make it all about him.  Cena says that Truth is wrong and that he makes it all about the people.

Truth says that it’s all about Cena and how he has to get the Cena shirt, the Cena wristbands, go see the new Cena movie, HE WANTS HIS SON BACK!  It’s all about him now and he isn’t going to feel right until he gets his WWE Title match.  Cena says he’s a bit broken up from last night but it’s about time someone knocked some sense into Truth.  An E-Mail stops that though because the GM isn’t sure about Truth.  The main event is Truth/Punk vs. Rey/Cena with Bret as referee.  Bret gives the kid the sunglasses in a nice touch.

Show and Kane are sitting on a nice car and Show says that they’re going to be in a pack tonight, I think talking about Nexus.  Ricardo comes up and yells in Spanish so Show shoves him down.  Alberto comes up and yells in Spanish too.  The big guys actually leave as Alberto rambles more in Spanish.

Tag Titles: Big Show/Kane vs. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty

 

I don’t get why these two didn’t have the tag title shot last night since they won last week.  Punk has boots up to his thighs that are white/yellow and look a bit odd.  He sits in on commentary here.  Kane and Otunga start us off and David heads to the floor to avoids a seated dropkick.  A small chase starts but Otunga misses an elbow drop as Kane fakes him out.

Show comes in to a big pop and here’s Michael as well.  Show sends him to the floor with ease as we take a break.  Back with Nexus working over Kane as Punk says he doesn’t care which Nexus team wins the titles.  Orunga gets a neckbreaker on Kane for two.  Show comes in soon thereafter and the beatdown is on.  Punk talks about how everything is going to be ok and Ryan tries to come in.  Kane takes him down but Punk says he has faith and kicks Show in the head.  A double DDT to Show and we have new champions at 8:54 total.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here and it’s probably a good thing to see the giants lose the titles.  They can only go so far with the titles before things get really boring with them.  Nexus needed something to go with here and the tag titles tend to be the first thing you’re given to get something established.

Back with a video of Orton at a Wal-Mart signing That’s What I Am DVDs.  Not as bad a movie as I was expecting even though he was in it less than five minutes.

Big Show and Kane are asked about frustration and Show is all ticked off.  Alberto for some reason Slaps him in the face and runs off.  The camera goes down and when we find them Alberto’s car is on Show’s leg!  Kane shouts at everyone and Ricardo backs the car off.  Show screams a lot as medics arrive.  Show tries to get up but falls right back down.

Back and Big Show still tries to stand, this time getting over to something to lean on.  He won’t sit on a stretcher and looks like he’s going to try to walk it off.

Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne

 

Swagger misses a shot in the corner and Bourne snaps off a rana.  And there goes that momentum as he runs into a big boot as Swagger takes over.  Off to an armbar but the Vader Bomb misses.  Bourne gets some kicks in but can’t get anywhere with it.  One is caught into an ankle lock but Bourne gets out again.  Another rana attempts is reversed into a HUGE gutwrecnch powerbomb to end this at 2:10.  That impact was awesome.

Post match Bourne is up already and gets a kick to the head of Swagger to send him to the floor in a heap.

Cole is walking around in the back and walks past the Divas, offering Eve a handshake.  She sticks her foot in his face instead.  He’s up next.

Rock’s new movie has done incredibly well.

Here’s Cole and he asks for our attention but then says he doesn’t deserve it.  He wants to apologize to everyone from Jerry to Matthews to Justin Roberts to Mark Yeaton to the fans in Portland to the people all over the WWE Universe.  He just wants to come home and do commentary on Raw.  He wants to come back with no Cole Mine and no more matches but just one more chance.

Jerry says thanks for that and thanks for giving him a picture for this year’s Christmas card, which is Cole having Jerry’s foot in his mouth.  The fans keep chanting You Suck Toes.  Jerry also hands him a box of Altoids which Cole accepts.  They offer him a chair but here’s Miz as Cole sits down.

Miz says there is only one reason why he didn’t win the WWE Championship last night, and that reason is Alex Riley.  This isn’t the first time Riley has failed either as he wasn’t at the steel cage match, he cost Miz the title three weeks ago because they dropped the belt and then last night he had the cell phone fall on the ground.  Miz wants one more chance at Cena in a one on one match with Alex Riley barred from ringside.  He isn’t going to leave the ring until he gets an answer either.

There’s an E-Mail and the GM denies the request.  Miz is done with Cena because he lost against last night.  Riley points out that it wasn’t him that quit and Miz slaps him.  Miz goes off on Riley and fires him and the fight is on!  Riley is destroying Miz, ripping the clothes off of him and throwing him onto the announce table.  Riley beats Miz up and we actually get a big Riley chant!  Miz is almost out.  Riley leaves Miz laying in the middle of the ring in one of the better face turns I’ve seen in a good while.

Melina/Maryse/Bella Twins vs. Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly/Beth Phoenix/Gail Kim

 

Cole continues to try to be different tonight, saying Miz might have had that coming to him and praising the Divas, enjoying the chance to call the match.  A Bella (announcers aren’t sure either) vs. Kelly to start.  And here’s Kharma maybe 10 seconds into it to a nice pop.

Beth rallies the troops to stare down Kharma who walks to the ring anyway.  She climbs up to the apron and climbs in, not really focusing on anyone.  The Divas surround her and it’s a weird staredown moment.  Kharma sticks her arms out and her hands start shaking.  She gets on her knees and something is censored out.  Kharma starts crying with her lips quivering.  She’s rocking back and forth a bit and shaking her head.  She’s saying something but we can’t hear it.  We go to a break with her more or less having a breakdown in the middle of the ring.

Back and we see a clip of Kharma’s breakdown again.

We get a clip of Extreme Rules where Kofi won the US Title back.

Drew McIntyre vs. Kofi Kingston

 

Non-Title here.  Drew has a ton of pyro now.  Drew is moving out there tonight as they have a very fast paced start but Kofi can’t get over Drew on a leapfrog and Drew works on the knee.  Figure Four on the post as this has been all Drew other than some nice speed moves by Kofi.  Kofi kicks him off though and manages the Boom Drop on one good leg.

He can’t even attempt Trouble in Paradise though and collapses, allowing Drew to get a kick to the chest for two.  Drew tries a knee crusher which Kofi half counters into a rana position, only for Drew to powerbomb him down for a long two.  Into the corner but Kofi pulls SOS out of nowhere for the surprise pin at 4:28.  Vickie and Ziggler are shown watching.  Dolph is blonde again.

Rating: C+. I liked this match with Drew having control due to the bad knee and Kofi having to fight from behind here the entire time.  The knee stuff was good with Drew being all aggressive, but he lost again which doesn’t really help him all that much at the end of the day.  Good to see him on TV again though.

We get a dream sequence of all three commentators imagining what would happen if President Obama had a press conference about Capitol Punishment.  They’ve asked Congress, the Washington Nationals to the forest reserve to the PPV.

Nexus celebrates their win and Punk says watch what he’s about to do.  Main event is up next.

Alberto says he had nothing to do with Show’s injury and blames Ricardo for it.

It’s time for what a lot of people have been asking for all night: the Randy Savage tribute.  A voiceover talks about how awesome his career was and how when everyone was being flamboyant he was better at it than anyone.  Set to Pomp and Circumstance we talk about his matches with Hogan, the Mania 3 match, Slim Jim, the fans imitating him (but never being able to duplicate him).

A barrage of Savage promos set up a highlight reel set to a sad song about setting someone apart and being a shame to be apart.  There’s a focus on his relationship with Liz and the clips are mostly from his face runs.  They’re showing things in sets here, such as his robes and then a bunch of shots of his elbows and finally the in memory graphic as he gets a standing ovation and a loud Macho Man chant.  Very nicely done.

John Cena/Rey Mysterio vs. R-Truth/CM Punk

 

Bret is referee here.  Punk has pink tights with stars on them like Savage had at Mania 4 where he won his first WWF Title.  Cena and Truth to start with Cena sending him to the floor as we take a break.  Back with Punk in control, ramming in elbows in the corner.  Cena speeds things up a bit and Punk hides behind Bret in a funny spot.  Truth comes in and takes over on Cena with some basic stuff for two.

Back off to Punk and I can’t help but smile at the tights.  Punk hits Bret’s floatover Russian Legsweep and it’s the TWO MOVES OF DOOM!  Suplex gets two and it’s off to Truth again who gets in Bret’s face.  Punk adds a backbreaker but Cena reverses a Sharpshooter into an STF attempt.  Punk loads him up for the GTS but Cena counters into a DDT and both guys are down.

Rey comes in and everything breaks down quickly.  Cena falls down because of bad ribs and Truth shouts how do you like me now?  Rey dropkicks Truth in the back and sets for the 619.  Bret drills Punk and adds a Sharpshooter and Rey drops a dime on Punk’s head for the pin at 9:48.  Cena jumps in the air with a leap that would make Orton jealous.

Rating: C. Just a main event tag match here but at the same time it was kind of a mess.  Not bad to be sure but I’m really not sure what this accomplishes other than a feel good moment I guess.  It was like they weren’t sure what to do here so they did a modified comedy match.  Not bad, but really nothing special at all.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a hard one to grade here.  The show was certainly eventful but the lack of wrestling hurts it.  This was far more of a show about resetting a lot of things which is something they really had to do after last night and they did a good job of that, but the lack of wrestling got in the way here.  The Savage tribute was well done and needed and I’m very glad we got one.  The title change was also good and Kharma’s breakdown is something worth keeping an eye on, but overall I wasn’t buying into the whole show.  Good, but certainly not epic or great.  It got stuff done though, which was the idea.

Results

David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty b. Kane/Big Show – Double DDT to Big Show

Jack Swagger b. Evan Bourne – Gutwrench Powerbomb

Melina/Maryse/Bella Twins vs. Eve Torries/Kelly Kelly/Beth Phoenix/Gail Kim went to a no contest when Kharma interfered

Kofi Kingston b. Drew McIntyre – SOS

John Cena/Rey Mysterio b. CM Punk/R-Truth – Springboard legdrop to Punk




Over the Limit 2011 – Nice Surprise. And Torture!

Over the Limit 2011
Date: May 22, 2011
Location: KeyArena, Seattle, Washington
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Booker T, Josh Matthews, Michael Cole

It’s Over the Limit again which was a totally worthless show last year which is about what I’m expecting this year.  The main event is Miz vs. Cena in an I Quit match while on the other side you have Christian vs. Orton in their rematch.  The first match was good so this should be as well with more time and some experience to work with.  All in all though it looks weak but I’ve been wrong before.  Let’s get to it.

There’s a graphic saying in memory of Randy Savage to open us up.  Certainly better than nothing.

The opening video is about what the human body is capable of when it’s pushed over the limit.  Not bad but a bit basic.  Then again there isn’t much you can do with a theme like Over the Limit.

Rey Mysterio vs. R-Truth

 

Truth just has the one line to start his lack of music now.  The Truth is that it’s all about parking lots.  He got here today and didn’t have a parking spot so he had to park with the rest of the fans in the rain.  It’s a conspiracy and while he’s danced and pranced for all of the Little Jimmys, it’s gotten him nowhere.  He doesn’t play games like Rey Mysterio who wears that toy mask.  He’s taking Rey’s spot and that’s the Truth.

There are cars on the stage like last year.  One is a Mustang and I can’t tell on the other one.  Lawler points out how stupid it is to be worried about a parking space when you have a match on PPV.  Leave it to the veterans to make sense.  Booker says Truth should have changed his attitude a long time ago.  Is Booker a subtle heel commentator and I’m just missing it?

Rey makes Truth madder and manages to send him to the floor where a hurricanrana from the apron takes him down.  Truth, in his purple shoes, takes over by hammering Rey in the corner.  That gets him nowhere as Rey outmoves him of course.  Cole quotes a Kid Rock song from 2002 by saying it ain’t bragging if you do it and you back it up as Rey is sent to the floor.

Truth keeps stopping Rey when he tries to get something going, including hitting a sitout gordbuster for two.  Lawler seems like he has a cold and Cole makes fun of him for it of course.  Rey makes a comeback and gets a middle rope bulldog for two.  As in Truth was on the middle rope which was a new twist on it.  Springboard cross body and a running kick both get two.

Top rope seated senton hits but Truth gets the spinning forearm which is more spin than forearm out of nowhere for a close two.  Axe kick misses so Rey tries a rollup which doesn’t connect.  The jumping reverse Stunner doesn’t hit so Rey kicks him to the floor.  Truth pulls him off the apron to crotch Rey on the ring skirt which is something that is hardly ever used.  A Downward Spiral ends this clean.  Nice to see Rey lose again.

Rating: C. Pretty dull match here but Truth winning is certainly the right move.  Raw needs more top heels and a crazy man like Truth is a good place to start.  Truth hopefully can now move past Rey and maybe on to a US Title run or a quick feud with Cena perhaps.  Still though, not much of a match but there were enough good spots to make it a good match.  Please though, get him a new finisher other than a Downward Spiral.

Miz says that people say he has no chance of winning tonight.  Those are the same people that said he was a joke or would be fired in three days or he’d cash in MITB and lose but he’s proven them all wrong, which he’ll do again tonight.  Very true actually.  Riley cuts off the catchphrase by saying he’s the new WWE Champion instead of Awesome.

Cole talks about rubbing raw fish on his feet.  “Lawler: You are really an idiot.”

We recap Jackson vs. Barrett.  Corre attacked Jackson because Jackson was starting to think about himself too much.  Jackson keeps trying to beat down Corre so Barrett challenged Jackson to a match for no apparent reason for Barrett’s IC Title.

Intercontinental Title: Ezekiel Jackson vs. Wade Barrett

 

Barrett comes out sans Corre which implies run in to me.  Jackson is freaky big.  Booker talks about Jackson winning his first title, even though this would be his second (ECW Title).  Idiots chant boring about 8 seconds after the bell rings.  Talk about being prejudiced.  Barrett hammers away to start.  It’s a good thing that people sell his punches a lot because he’s the bareknuckles champions or whatever right?

Jackson sends him to the floor and the chase is on.  Jackson catches a big boot attempt as they get back in and runs Barrett over.  Power vs. power here even thought Barrett isn’t much of a power guy.  Cole says the three others are some of the most boring broadcasters he’s ever heard.  Barrett claims a neck injury but is just pretending.  That’s a bad IC Champion!

He sends Big Zeke into the post shoulder first a few times and adds a big boot with Jackson’s head against the post.  Cole has a big surprise for the Lawler match later.  For the love of all things good and holy, let it end there.  Barrett gets a middle rope elbow for two which I hope isn’t your only Macho Man reference tonight.  Cole and Booker argue about sheep and wolves or whatever as Barrett locks on a chinlock.

Wasteland is blocked and Jackson can’t get anywhere as he walks into a kick to the ribs and a pumphandle slam.  Jackson snaps and starts his series of like four slams in a row which I think is kind of a cool idea.  It would hurt your back if you kept having it done to you.  The fans seem to like it too so why not?  Five slams sets up the Torture Rack and here’s Gabriel for the pretty obvious DQ.

Rating: C+. Call me crazy but I liked it.  Jackson with those slams was a surprisingly well received move.  The Torture Rack is a good finisher for him so at least they’re starting to book him right.  The ending is kind of cheap as it’s what we’ve seen for months now, but that’s about what you have to expect.  Somehow Barrett has the longest current title reign in the company.  That’s kind of surprising.

Corre beats down Jackson post match including a Boss Man Slam and a big boot, both from Wade.  No 450 though.

Mason Ryan finds Otunga and McGillicutty down in the back.  They say it was Show and Kane.  Punk says it means they can show how awesome they are.  He barely seems to care about the two guys down.  Punk says walk it off.

Sin Cara vs. Chavo Guerrero

 

The idea here is Chavo claims that he invented most of what Cara does, which isn’t true but it makes for a good storyline.  They’re in the weird lighting again here and Chavo has the shorts back.  Cara takes over with some speed stuff but Chavo stops him, in theory because he knows the moves better and knows how to counter them.

Out to the floor and Cara does his usually awesome stuff but back in the ring a limping Chavo hammers him down into the corner.  Cara hits a nice moonsault press for two.  The lighting thing is a bit annoying in a long match.  It looks like the light is sick or something.  It’s a standard ground game vs. high flying match which is similar to what Chavo owned the world at back in 2000 so this works fine.

We hit the floor again and Cara crushes him with a big dive.  Top rope rana sets up some kicks and a handspring elbow as he channels his inner Tajiri.  Top rope cross body gets two.  Cara keeps trying to speed it up and it’s only kind of working.  A springboard….head drag I guess sends Chavo down again.  I think it was supposed to be La Mistica (headscissors into an armbar) but it wound up looking awful and Cara pins him with it.  Horrible looking botch.

Rating: C. Pretty good match here as Chavo can keep up with Cara.  The ending brings it down a lot though and the lighting thing has to go because now it’s time for Cara to move up to the midcard.  He’s gotten some experience under his belt and it should be enough for him to have some matches with other midcard guys.  He’ll bring in the Mexican audience which is the point of signing him.  Decent enough match though.

More anti-bullying jazz.

Randy and Christian have a quick chat about getting to be champion which doesn’t go much of anywhere other than repeating talking points.

Alberto is here thankfully.  It’s a PPV with a car theme so how could he not be here?  He’s here to talk about immigration apparently as everyone is complaining about various things.  Ok never mind as he wants to talk about not being sad about being in a WWE Title match because his destiny can’t be stopped.  He’ll be champion some day.

Big Show’s music cuts him off and here come the tag champions.  Kane is disappointed that there wasn’t a rapture yesterday because he was looking forward to it.  Alberto bails before getting his head knocked off.

Tag Titles: CM Punk/Mason Ryan vs. Big Show/Kane

 

Kane vs. Ryan to start us off here and the fans chant Batista.  This crowd is getting on my nerves in a hurry.  Power vs. Power of course and here’s Show.  Ryan goes all Big Zeke on him, taking him down with a clothesline.  Off to Punk vs. Show.  The giants take turns beating down Punk, probably jealous of all the hair gel.  Ryan comes in to work on Kane as Punk has the word Macho on his tape.

Show stomps on the steps and it sounds like the building is falling down.  The bulldog out of the corner is blocked and Punk is almost shoved into the big punch.  Instead Punk dropkicks the knee and brings in Ryan who hits an old school Oklahoma Stampede.  Bearhug time and Ryan just throws Kane around which is ultra rare.  Kane grabs a suplex but Punk comes in to stop the tag.

Punk goes up top in a rare move for him.  Is that a theme for this match or something?  The elbow drop from the top misses and I can’t help but smile.  It’s enough to bring in Show who cleans house as he is known to do.  Double chokeslam to Ryan and we’re done.  Sometimes there’s no substitute for just picking someone up and drilling them like that.

Rating: C. For the elbow alone this isn’t a failure.  It’s very cool to see someone throw that out in a tribute to one of the best of all time and something told me it would be Punk.  Just seems like something he’d do.  Anyway, Show and Kane winning isn’t that surprising as it can play into the problems in Nexus a bit more.  This was fine for what it was.

Ad for Capitol Punishment featuring…..President Obama?  It’s one of those fake questions featuring real clips from a press conference.  At least it’s four weeks away.

Divas Title: Brie Bella vs. Kelly Kelly

 

Cole even says this will be boring.  This is about what you would expect: both girls do a few things, neither really are that good, both look good in tiny shorts, which is why they have their jobs I suppose.  LONG armbar by Brie wastes some time.  There’s Twin Magic, X-Factor, Nikki gets the pin.

Rating: F. Dang it why did this have to be long enough to grade?  The match was awful the whole way through as they have no business being on PPV.  Watching Nunzio as the referee and the girls looking good are the only high spots here.  Also, no sign of Kharma.  How in the world can you validate this being on PPV?  I give up.

Cole goes to get ready…..and the world title match is next?  Wow indeed.

We recap Christian vs. Orton.  Basic story here: Christian needs to prove his reign wasn’t a fluke and he needs to prove that he can beat Orton on full rest.  Somehow that takes long enough to heat up some grilled cheese to explain.

Smackdown World Title: Randy Orton vs. Christian

 

Big match intros fill in some time as we have almost an hour and a half left and three matches to go.  Booker talks about how awesome Orton is because of his lineage, even though his grandfather was a relative unknown and his dad was good but not great.  The crowd gets into it a bit and Booker goes into a LONG speech about Christian and hitting the button to make an engine go faster or something.

Anyway, Christian gets a middle rope dropkick for two as he’s controlled so far.  Orton does his apparently now signature toe touching thing on a leapfrog.  The crowd is FAR more into this than the rest of the show combined.  Off to a chinlock by Christian as Booker actually points something out: Christian doesn’t pick guys up that much.  Big old dropkick by Orton but he can’t get much of an advantage going.

Lawler is gone too if I didn’t mention that.  Orton hits a full on superplex for a close two.  Orton fires off those uppercuts with one of them being countered into a backslide for two.  Spinebuster gets two for the Canadian.  They slug it out and Christian goes up for a missile dropkick, only to get caught in a jackknife cover which he reverses into a sunset flip for two.  Christian takes him down again and a swan dive headbutt gets two.

The fans seem to be more behind Christian here, but then again most people don’t care about Orton until he hits the RKO.  Orton starts his stomp.  OH NO!  HE KICKED HIM IN THE FOOT!!!  IT’S UTTER DEVASTATION!!!!!  Kneedrop gets two but Christian gets a Killswitch attempt which is countered into an RKO attempt.  That gets countered into another Killswitch attempt but Orton pulls the legs out and gets a reverse Boston Crab (Billy Goat’s Curse for you Colt Cabana fans) which I’ve never seen in WWE.

Christian grabs the rope but it’s nice to see a new move being thrown out there like that.  He fakes Orton out in the corner and gets a VERY close two off a sunset flip out of the corner.  Important there because the fake out was the same move that Christian got caught in the RKO with in their first title match.  Nice bit of psychology there.

Into the corner again and Christian tries the pendulum kick but Randy grabs the feet and shifts to an elevated DDT for a close two.  Orton loads up the RKO but Christian shoves him off and stars shouting SPEAR.  Ok, enough with the Edge references.  Perhaps it was the SHOUTING THE NAME OF THE MOVE but Orton snaps him off with a powerslam for two.  With Christian down Orton sets for the Punt of all things but he can’t bring himself to do it.

He charges again but Christian pops up with a spear for a VERY close two.  Christian goes into one of his old school fits almost as this is a rather good match.  Christian sets for the Killswitch again but it gets countered as does the second attempt, the first into an RKO attempt and the second into an attempted belly to back suplex.  Christian flips out of it but as he goes for the Killswitch again, it’s RKO time and Orton survives this.

Rating: A-. Very good match here that topped their previous match with them adding the psychology and building on their previous match.  Orton showing respect to Christian like he did before on Smackdown is another nice touch as well as them adding in new stuff to make the match less predictable.  Well done match as Christian continues to impress.

They shake hands post match.

We recap Cole vs. Lawler so excuse me while I baste a turkey.

Ok I’m back now and what a shock it’s still going.  The idea is that Cole and Lawler hate each other and Cole has beaten him twice already.  Lawler has put up his Hall of Fame ring and if he loses he’ll induct Cole into the Hall of Fame.  Also the loser has to kiss the winner’s foot.  Cole also ticked off his muscle in Jack Swagger so he’s on his own here, at least in theory.

Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole

 

Remember that Cole has promised some kind of surprise all night.  Cole comes out in a suit and limping.  You can tell it’s officially an injury because he has a doctor’s note.  Or maybe he’s reading his lines.  Apparently it’s because of infected athlete’s foot.  If Cole’s foot goes into Lawler’s mouth Lawler might contract foot and mouth disease.  He gives the note to the referee and the referee rips it up.  RING THE BELL!

Lawler drills him into the corner and pounds away and there go Cole’s pants.  SOLID right hand and a dropkick send Cole to the floor.  Josh says vintage.  Cole manages to send him into the steps a few times and Cole takes the shoe off.  This ticks Jerry off and LAWLER THROWS HIM THROUGH THE COLE MINE!!!!!  Lawler celebrates the thing exploding which is a legit funny moment.  Middle rope punch brings the strap down and WE ARE DONE!  That made me smile.  No rating as it was total domination but still, awesome moment as Jerry destroyed him.

Jerry starts unzipping his boot but has an idea.  He waves someone out and here comes Eve.  She drills him with a moonsault as this is turning into exactly what it should have been.  Lawler still isn’t done as he waves out JR!  Appropriately enough JR has barbecue sauce.  He pours it into Cole’s mouth until it overflows and all over his face.  This is great.  Cole gets to the floor and tries to leave and says that he’s not a loser.  It’s Lawler and all the people that are losers.  He’s not going to kiss his……..BRET HART IS HERE!!!!!

THIS is what I mean when I say they need to give old school fans something special.  And before you ask, remember that it was Bret and Lawler in the first kiss my foot match.  Sharpshooter goes on the pencils that Cole calls legs and it’s time to kiss the feet, complete with barbecue sauce.  Cole is left totally destroyed and Bret’s music plays us out.  PERFECT ending to this segment as Cole is completely and utterly destroyed.

JR jumps in on commentary for the main event.

They show the replay a bunch of times and Cole’s face is priceless.

That’s What I Am video, which actually wasn’t all that bad.

We recap Miz vs. Cena.  More or less Cena got to pick the stips because it’s a match he flat out doesn’t lose.  This is their third PPV match so I kind of like the idea of having the odds stacked so high against Miz because he can say he didn’t deserve to lose but at the same time they’re almost too high.

Raw World Title: The Miz vs. John Cena

 

I Quit rules here and they have a LOT of time.  Miz has the coat again which is always a perk.  It’s only 20 past ten so they have a TON of time.  Miz grabs the mic and says that since there are no rules Riley is going to help him.  That helps a bit.  Riley more or less plays spoiler here as he breaks up an early STF attempt.  This is pretty smart actually.

The dueling chants begin as Cena puts Riley on the floor.  Cena initiates his ending sequence quickly but Miz countered into a Skull Crushing Finale attempt.  He walks into an FU but Riley pops in to massacre him with about 12 briefcase shots.  Double powerbomb out of the corner but Cena says no.  Booker more or less ends his employment by saying Cena has limited skills/abilities.  Well he has a job on the internet for life.

More beatings follow and Cena is sent into the barricade, drawing a no.  They set up the table and Miz hits a monitor shot to the head.  This is getting a bit brutal here.  Cena drills Riley and comes back on Miz but gets sent into the steps.  DDT on the steps and Cena doesn’t give up still.  That one was more meager though.  Miz cuts a short promo on Cena, saying that if he doesn’t give up Riley will slam the steps onto Cena’s ribs.  Cena say go away and there are the steps for him.

Riley gets in the ring and holds Cena’s arms back.  Miz says he has a weapon and will hit him with it if Cena doesn’t give up.  “You hit like a girl.”  That of course gets a no.  Miz GOES OFF on Cena who more or less tries in vain to cover up.  He still won’t quit though.  There are some sick marks all over Cena’s stomach from that stick.  This has been about 95% Miz/Riley.

The go up to the stage and Miz suplexes him on the stage.  Cena is screaming loudly but still won’t quit.  Matthews asks about Cena’s breaking point.  Haven’t we seen that show already?  Miz gets a running boot to the head to kick Cena off the stage.  Cena STILL won’t say he quits but he doesn’t say no for awhile this time.  They get a boom mic and a leather belt.  Miz talks to Cena on the mic again but Cena STILL won’t quit even at the threat of a whipping.  “You have a leather strap but you got no nuts.”

Cena more or less stops reacting other than sticking his leg up to try to block the belt shots.  He STILL says no, almost through tears.  They head back to the ring and Cena somehow keeps fighting but a chair to the ribs and back stops that run.  This is getting pretty awesome as it’s looking almost impossible for him to come back here and that Miz has the perfect plan.

Back in the ring and Cena AGAIN fights back.  And there goes the referee.  Cena can’t get the FU on Riley but Miz takes him down one more time.  He puts the chair between the ropes and it’s a Skull Crushing Finale THROUGH the chair which looks like it bent a bit.  Booker: “They seem like they’re trying to hurt him.”  Get this man off my commentary NOW.

Miz says maybe he needs to make this a bit more personal.  He goes to a fan and asks if Cena is his hero.  The kid says yes and he wants to know if he wants Cena to quit.  The kid says never.  Mic shot still gets a no from the fan.  Miz GOES OFF on the fan and the fan shrugs his shoulder.  Get actors next time Vince as the fan is hilarious here.  Miz threatens Cena with a ton of chair shots as he’s stuck in part of the barricade now.  Cena says the kids are smarter than he is which gets no reaction really.

BIG chair shot over the head for that one and now Riley wants him to say it.  THEY ACTUALLY DO THE RECORDED VOICE BIT!!!  Cena clearly didn’t move but a voiceover of him said it.  The referee wants the belt but he finds the tape recorder.  I think he’s calling shenanigans here.  It’s Riley’s phone so RESTART IT!  Riley sets for a belt shot but it takes Miz out instead.  FU to Riley through the table and Cena takes his own belt off.  A bunch of whippings and Miz quits like a girl to the STF (Cena said it earlier, not me).

Rating: B+. This is a very hit or miss match much like the I Quit match against Orton at Breaking Point in 2009.  You really have to check your brain at the door for this one but at the same time that makes it work.  They got brutal with this one and that made it work very well in the end of it all.  I got into it for a lot in there and the restart made sense too.  Good match, not for everyone though.

Overall Rating: B. Call this one a pleasant surprise.  I was thinking this would be nothing but we got two great matches and a great moment with Cole and Lawler.  The rest isn’t great but it’s certainly not all that bad.  I liked this show actually and it worked quite well all things considered.  When you have zero expectations and get a decent show with a very good final hour and a half or so, things are definitely looking up for it.  Good show overall.

Results

R-Truth b. Rey Mysterio – Downward Spiral

Ezekiel Jackson b. Wade Barrett via DQ when Justin Gabriel interfered

Sin Cara b. Chavo Guerrero – Headscissors

Big Show/Kane b. Mason Ryan/CM Punk – Double Chokeslam to Ryan

Brie Bella b. Kelly Kelly – Bella Buster

Randy Orton b. Christian – RKO

Jerry Lawler b. Michael Cole – Middle Rope Punch

John Cena b. The Miz – Miz said I Quit




Breaking Point 2009 – Cena Gets Tortured! Tons of Fun!

Breaking Point
Date: September 13, 2009
Location: Bell Centre, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Attendance: 11,500
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Matt Striker, Todd Grisham, Jim Ross, Josh Matthews

Submission. That’s whole point of this show. Ok not really but that was the idea of some of it. WWE was I suppose trying to reach out to the MMA fans here which makes sense I guess but at the same time is annoying. The three main matches are submission matches, including Taker vs. Punk on one for the Smackdown Title.

Other than that we have Orton vs. Cena…again, for the Raw Title. The third major match is DX vs. Legacy so there we are. This show is hit or miss for most people so there we are. Let’s get to it.

Also, in case you’re wondering what the point of this review is, I’m trying to get caught up with the recent shows so I can have a point to cut off at, as in having all of 2009 forward reviewed or something like that, so expect more recent ones to start popping up.

The video more or less says what I just said to you. It should be noted that it’s only the main event matches that have the submission stipulation.

Unified Tag Titles: Big Show/Chris Jericho vs. Mark Henry/MVP

This was the feud of the month and no one with intelligence thought team Red had a chance. Jericho tried to denounce being Canadian on Raw to keep the face pop down but if I remember right Quebec wants to secede anyway, so it made the reaction better. MVP is a fair bit sloppy. Crowd is hot by the way. Fans are totally behind Big Show.

More or less this is Henry shows off his strength without actually doing anything worthwhile. Henry is likely going to be in the match for the most part. Oh dear. Ok scratch that thank goodness. Oh how I hate the Ballin Elbow. Lawler says a spear literally cut MVP in half. No King, it didn’t.

Henry comes in to make the save after a LONG time of beating on MVP. Henry cleans house and counters the Codebreaker. And of course a single right hand knocks him out for about 25 seconds so Jericho can get the pin to retain.

Rating: D+. This was a long Raw match and just flat out not interesting. There was no way the belts would change here or anything like that and everyone knew it. That can work at times but the problem here is that the match itself has to actually be good. That simply isn’t the case here and it hurt the match really badly.

Legacy says that tonight it’s a fight and DX is over.

US Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Miz

Lillian isn’t human. That’s all there is to it. This was added to the card the day before this show which is rather cool when you think about it. No idea why it is but I thought I’d throw out something that sounds cool like that so I wouldn’t have to explain it. This is fairly recently after Miz did the AWESOME (pun intended) feud with Cena. That was too brilliant for words.

Kofi is getting beaten up here as the push of the Miz continues. Lawler and King argue about nothing in particular. This is a really slow paced match and I’m not sure how well it’s working. Miz does the intelligent thing and moves out of the way of the Boom Drop. They crank it up and do a nice pinfall reversal sequence. Miz goes for the Reality Check but Kofi counters the neckbreaker to kick the heck out of him for the pin.

Rating: B. This started slow but became a very solid match by the end. At the time it aired I wasn’t sure who was going to win which is something that hardly ever happens to me in matches. What I mean by that is this looked like a glorified squash on paper and that got switched up. I’ve always liked both of these guys and this was no exception. Very fun match with a solid ending.

Lynyrd Skynyrd did the theme song. Good to know.

We recap DX vs. Legacy. In essence, Legacy is tired of DX hogging the spotlight. In other words, Legacy is portraying Rated RKO.

DX vs. Legacy

This is submissions count anywhere. We get the obligatory Montreal reference from DX which makes sense as we’re in Montreal tonight. HHH says it was all Shawn’s fault in a rather funny bit. There are in essence no rules in this to speak of. Shawn is famous for the figure four? Since when? We’re already into the crowd so at least they’re not trying that hard to make this look like a normal match. That’s always a perk.

Shawn has DiBiase in a choke on a railing in the audience and HHH and Rhodes are back in the concourse I think. We were in the ring for all of 8 seconds in case you were wondering. They’re brawling all over the place but of course we’re heading back to the ring now. Rhodes is put onto a chair and HHH gets a Boston Crab at the same time that Shawn gets a camel clutch. Good to know. After that is broken up we get a crossface from HHH.

I’m not sure if this is a good match or not. Rhodes hooks a Gory Special of all things. The formula of this match more of less is one guy puts a hold on another and the partner makes the save. It’s ok but there’s not much to it really. HHH and DiBiase are in the ring and Rhodes and Shawn are fighting in the production area. They fight into the stands and Shawn falls from there down to a perfectly placed empty area.

Basically HHH has to fight both guys off to keep them away from Shawn. Hmm…HHH having to face very big odds and do something no other normal person could pull off? Where’s the challenge? They’re in the back and beating the tar out of HHH. The crowd reaction would suggest Shawn is up. Oh wait it’s Montreal so maybe he died or something. Never mind. He’s up. It’s back to 1-2 now though as HHH got smacked in the head and is down.

Rhodes busts out an ankle lock on Shawn. You know, the guy with a bad back that just hurt his back a few minutes ago. I can’t stand stupid wrestlers at times. So Shawn was down for maybe two minutes from FALLING OFF A BALCONY and HHH is down much longer from a garbage can shot? Good freaking night.

Shawn gets that reverse figure four that he used like twice but he’s a master off all of a sudden anyway. Rhodes just goes off on Shawn and hooks the figure four on the post. DiBiase adds in the Million Dollar Dream. And Shawn taps out with HHH crawling on the floor. Talk about an EPIC win. Match kind of sucked but kind of didn’t.

Rating: B-. I liked it, but there were a LOT of problems here. For one thing, it got to the point where it was just the same stuff happening but with different people. That’s rather boring indeed. However, VERY happy that Legacy won as they actually needed a win as opposed to DX all over again. It was good but far from great. I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt though.

Oh and amazingly enough, people still complained about DX hogging the spotlight after this match. Go figure.

Josh Matthews comes up to Randy Orton who says he wants to talk. Orton has no reaction to Legacy winning. Orton says that’s enough questions so he talks about Cena. Orton has the voice for his character down to a T, I’ll give him that much. I love the WWE Title just sitting in the background there like that’s perfectly normal.

Ad for Hell in a Cell.

Singapore Cane Match: Kane vs. Great Khali

Uh, point to the stipulations? Singh’s sideburns are alive I think. There’s a basket of canes at each corner. There’s the required duel between the sticks. Can we just push Kane as a monster heel? Please? Is it that much to ask? Khali got a world title reign and Kane doesn’t. That makes such a lack of sense I can’t even fathom it.

The fans are already chanting boring and they’re right. Naturally they don’t get it and keep going. Khali gives Kane a head massage which is apparently a vice grip or something. Khali does his other move, the chop, and that’s all he’s got. Kane gets a shot off the top with the cane and that gets two of course. A good (bad on anyone other than Khali) ends it to a BIG pop, despite Kane being 100% heel here.

Rating: F. This was awful in every sense of the word. It was short if nothing else but for the love of coconuts, give Kane something serious to do rather than just having him beat up random big men. Yes I’m a big fan of Kane.

Punk says he’s ready for Undertaker. He makes great points of course but it’s Taker so he has to lose. Punk mentions the Hardy arrest which is just freaking awesome. Dang Punk is epic. The lights go out and it’s Jimmy Yang messing with Punk. Guess what happens to his cowboy sefl.

We recap Christian vs. Regal, which more or less was Regal got beat in 10 seconds at Summerslam and then his boys beat him up. Naturally a ten second loss warrants a rematch right?

ECW Championship: Christian vs. William Regal

This is 5 days after the ECW is Leaving announcement was made so there we are. Naturally Christian gets a huge pop being the Canadian. The monsters are sent to the back. This is more of a technical match which is what Regal is a master of. This is an intense match if nothing else. The fans are as into this as they’ve been into anything all night long. Regal avoids the Killswitch three times and then gets it on the fourth. Well that was abrupt. Somehow this was ten minutes long.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t much at all. It could have been a main event on any ECW TV show and it wouldn’t have been anything special at all. This was pretty weak.

Batista is coming back to Raw to leave for Smackdown.

Pat Patterson comes out for no apparent reason. He talks about nothing in general until Dolph Ziggler comes out. They talk, Ziggler pushes him, gay jokes abounded in the LD as Morrison came out for the save.

We recap Cena vs. Orton. They don’t like each other. The end. On the show you get a five minute version of that.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Remember, this is submission only. Orton is champion here in case anyone is interested. Starting with the package, we have ten minutes go by before the opening bell. Cena starts out hot and gets in some nice throws on the reptilian one. The fans are kind of into it but I think they know they’re in for a long one here.

Orton of course gets the advantage as he is known to do. The weapons are in already and Cena is experiencing head trauma. Naturally we get a mixed reaction from the crowd because it’s Cena in Canada. The RKO onto a chair is countered because we’re 5 minutes into this. We’re on the floor and Orton is in control of course.

He puts Cena’s head on the step and stomps on it. That looked awesome to say the least. When that doesn’t work he busts out handcuffs and the key which goes around his neck. And Cena is attached to the top rope. Yep, he’s going to win anyway. So Orton unties him and puts him on the post with the cuffs over his arm. Orton proceeds to beat him in the chest and stomach with a kendo stick.

This has to be some Vince sex fantasy. There’s no other possible explanation. I don’t know if that’s makeup on his ribs or what but it looks awesome. Orton freaking KILLS Cena with a chair shot. This is freaking violent. After more chair shots and Cena being cuffed again he manages to get the key. And great, now they’re cuffed to each other. Is this a bad buddy comedy pilot or something? It still looks better than 12 Rounds.

The people are booing this, I guess because HE WAS FREKAING TORTURED AND NOW HE’S BEATING UP THE WORLD CHAMPION! Orton gets an RKO out of nowhere. And of course Cena hooks the STFU on Orton with the cuffs for the submission. Because you know, that’s perfectly reasonable right? A ton of replays and celebrating follows.

Rating: B-. I’m really not sure on this one as it became a messed up torture video halfway through. This is a match that some people are going to love and others are going to just flat out hate and I can see both perspectives. It’s not for everyone and the intensity is WAY over the top, but it played up Cena won’t quit as well as possible so there we go.

We recap Punk vs. Taker. More or less it was Taker is back and wants the title. Good to know.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. CM Punk

Taker has never surrendered so there we are. Naturally it takes forever to start because it’s an Undertaker match. And of course Punk is getting his face kicked in. Did you expect anything else? This goes on for awhile until some chair shots get us back to something resembling even.

They trade strikes and Punk actually puts him down with a solid as stone kick to the head. And there’s the Hell’s Gate for the tap out. Yeah, in the most predictable ending you could ask for, Taker gets the title back to end the show. Screw you WWE.

OR DOES HE???

Teddy Long comes out to say that the Hell’s Gate is still an illegal move and the match is still going, even though it’s a No DQ match so that rule means nothing but why should I pay attention to something stupid like that?

Anyway, Taker just beats the tar out of him and then we get the part of the match that I still shake my head at: Punk counters the Last Ride and hooks an Anaconda Vice and, say it with me, Taker doesn’t tap but the bell rings anyway. Punk stands next to the stoic Long to end the show. Care for an explanation? So would I. It never really came, so whatever right?

Rating: D+. This just wasn’t that good. The match was boring and while they did use the surprising ending, it’s still Montreal. I have far more tolerance here than in TNA though, as this isn’t an alternative to WWE or anything like that. Either way, the match sucked and not much was going to save it. Nice twist though.

Overall Rating: D. The idea is ok but in reality this just didn’t work at all. Three of the seven matches could be on any TV show and while them being title matches helped a lot, they’re still just not very good other than the US Title match which isn’t great or anything. There’s some ok stuff in here, but at the same time all of the matches being the same thing takes away from it.

I’ll go with the same example I would go with from Cole at No Way Out one year when there were two chambers: “This is such an intense match. How long has it been since you saw something like this?” About 25 minutes Michael. That’s the thing: these matches are supposed to be about being way intense and stuff like that, but when you have three inside of two hours it just doesn’t work.

There’s some ok stuff in here but by the end you just want it to be over which is never a good sign. Check it out if you’re a fan of the modern product, but overall this was a failed experiment, meaning it’ll be back this year.




Smackdown – May 20, 2011 – Just Kind of There

Smackdown
Date: May 20, 2011
Location: American Bank Center Arena Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

We have one more show before Over the Limit and this is it.  I wouldn’t expect much tonight other than a final push to the PPV as the card seems to be mostly set already.  Orton and Christian will likely have some more interaction tonight but other than that I don’t know of anything that’s likely to happen.  Anyway, let’s get to it.

Do You Know Your Enemy?  Mine at the moment is a bad cough that I’ve had all week.

Orton vs. Henry tonight.

Christian vs. Sheamus

 

We get an old school inset promo from Sheamus as he comes to the ring where he says it took Christian 15 years to win a world title and it took him two months.  Rather true actually.  Sheamus uses power to take over early and Christian is in trouble.  Christian manages to send the pale dude to the floor but gets caught by a shoulder through the ropes.

Christian speeds things up as we hit the floor.  And never mind as we go back into the ring and Sheamus shoves him off the top to the floor and we take a break.  Back with Sheamus getting a powerslam for two.  Off to a chinlock by Sheamus as they rest a bit.  Reverse DDT gets two for Christian as does a cross body.  Middle rope elbow looks to set up the Killswitch but Christian walks into the Irish Curse for two.

Tornado DDT by Christian as this is a rather nice TV match so far.  That only gets two though because regular moves can’t get pins remember?  Finishers only.  Sheamus is knocked to the apron and hits a slingshot shoulder block to get two as well.  And scratch what I said about finishers only as Christian grabs a small package for the pin at 8:43 shown on 12:13.

Rating: B-. The ending was a bit abrupt but this was a pretty solid opening match.  Sheamus tends to work rather well with guys a bit smaller than him and this was no exception.  Solid back and forth match here but the ending left a bit to be desired with it seeming to not follow the buildup it had for the most part.  Still good overall though.

Henry comes out for the double beatdown post match.  Orton comes out very slowly for the save but watches a bit first.  So Orton is a voyeur now?

Long video on Miz vs. Cena on Sunday.

We run down the rest of the card for Sunday to fill in more time.  Brie Bella is defending against Kelly Kelly apparently.

Speaking of the Bellas they’re in the back and Grisham asks them about the beatdown on Monday from Kharma.  Brie is asked why she let Nikki get beaten down and they get in an argument about why they let each other get beaten down.  They agree that they would have done the same thing in each other’s place so this is totally pointless.

Natalya vs. Brie Bella

 

Non-title here as I guess Natalya is now just there to fill in a space.  Booker rambles on about biscuits and butter and Kharma as even Josh laughs at how out there he sounds.  Natalya takes her down with relative ease and gets two.  What looks like a Boston Crab can’t go on so Brie takes over, working on the arm.  Discus lariat gets two for Natalya as this is a rather boring match with the fans totally dead.  Delayed vertical suplex gets no cover.  Brie sends her shoulder first into the corner and gets a horrible looking X-Factor for the pin at 3:01.

Rating: D-. Yeah shockingly enough a match with one of the Bellas was junk.  The only thing they’re good for is shaking their hips and their in ring work proves that.  This was another weak Divas match as Nattie is now losing clean to Brie Bella of all people.  It never ceases to amaze me how fast a long running champion can fall like that.

We talk about Big Zeke getting thrown out of Corre and he’ll be here next.

Here’s Jackson who says he came to SD to write a new chapter in the Book of Ezekiel.  He joined the Corre to make an impact and talks about how Corre took over.  Not really but we’ll go with that.  He wants to know if Corre needed him or if he needed Corre.  The last two weeks he’s taken a beating but they can’t break him.  He’s not going to sleep until they’ve all suffered.

Here comes Corre for the beatdown but Teddy interrupts them and makes a six man tag.

Corre vs. Ezekiel Jackson/Kane/Big Show

 

Slater is in tights now instead of trunks.  Show starts for the Bald Brotherhood to face Gabriel.  The title match on Sunday is against Ryan and Punk.  Why would it be against them when McGillicutty and Otunga beat the champions?  Why am I trying to make sense of this?  Kane comes in as this has been one sided so far.  Off to Slater whose luck is about the same.  Booker wants to step outside with Cole.  I guess he’s afraid to cross the street and needs Cole to hold his hand.

Barrett gets the tag and is rather skeptical to face Kane so he gets Jackson instead.  Barrett beats him down but can’t suplex him.  Jackson clotheslines him to the floor as we take a break.  Back with Jackson running over Gabriel and it’s off to Big Show.  Showstopper (standing leg drop if I remember the name correctly) puts Gabriel down as does something resembling a superkick.

Back to Jackson as the beating continues.  Totally one sided so far.  Barrett comes in and has the best luck so he tags out to Slater immediately.  Jackson runs over Slater now and Kane adds the top rope clothesline.  Sidewalk slam gets two but Barrett pulls the top rope down to send Kane to the floor.  Corre takes over as Slater throws on a chinlock which gets him nowhere.

Kane suplexes his way out of it but Barrett stops the tag.  Double big boot puts both guys

down and it’s back off to Slater again.  Big uppercut puts Heath down and a double tag brings in Gabriel and Jackson.  All Big Zeke here but everything breaks down quickly.  Jackson slams Gabriel about four times and a torture rack (love that move for Jackson) ends this at 8:10 shown of 11:40.

Rating: C. Just a six man here with the good guys dominating almost the entire time.  I’m skeptical about who wins both title matches on Sunday but it’s not like this told us anything about the tag champions really.  Either way, not a terrible match but just kind of there really.  Zeke having a new finisher is definitely a good thing for him though as he really needed one and a Torture Rack is perfect.

 

Christian suggests we look at some tape from earlier which is Orton taking his time getting down there for the save.  He’s going to be 100% on Sunday.

This isn’t from the show but as I’m reviewing this news broke that Randy Savage died in a car wreck.  That completely blew me away and I have no idea what to even think about it.  Sad indeed.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Daniel Bryan

 

Pre match Chavo says that he brought Sin Cara here and how he’s going to beat Bryan in five minutes as opposed to the fifteen it took Cara to do it last week.  Chavo vs. Cara is confirmed for the PPV.  There’s a countdown clock on screen for this.  First minute passes with nothing more than basic stuff.  Bryan gets a dropkick and drop toehold to take over.  Chavo gets his feet up in the corner to get two with 3:25 to go.

Booker and Cole get into it again as has become a tradition on Fridays anymore.  Chavo locks in a reverse chinlock which doesn’t last long.  They exchange rollups and things speed up a bit with about two minutes to go.  Here come the kicks and it’s LeBell Lock time.  He can’t quite get it on so he hits the floor with a minute left.  Big dive to the floor takes Chavo out and the missile dropkick misses with thirty five seconds left.  Chavo goes with Three Amigos with very little time left.  Frog Splash only gets two and the clock runs out at 5:00.

Rating: C+. Pretty clear that we were going with the time limit but that was the point in this case so it’s nothing to complain about.  Chavo as usual works rather well out there and with a guy like Bryan it’s not like they were asking much of him.  This was absolutely fine and it worked rather well indeed.  Good match and nice to see Bryan not get pinned again.

Chavo throws him to the floor post match and Sin Cara comes out for the save, hitting a rana to send Chavo to the floor.

 

Here’s Cody with Ted for the paper bag thing.  PLEASE tell me they’re not reforming Legacy and messing up Cody’s push for the sake of a weak tag team.  Cody gets a bag especially for Ted who doesn’t want to put it on but does anyway.  It turns out to be a joke for the sake of making fun of Corpus Christi as Ted speaks in a bad Mexican accent.  The fans boo and Cody yells at them to put the bags on.  Ted takes the bag off and says bring out his opponent.

Ted DiBiase vs. Trent Barreta

 

Ted hammers him back into the corner as I think we have a squash on our hands here.  Apparently Cody called Ted a shrub or something, meaning his career has fallen apart.  Trent takes Ted down with a standing Swanton for two.  Enziguri has Ted staggering but a tornado DDT is countered into a sitout powerbomb.  Dream Street ends this clean in 1:25 for no rating of course.  Trent gets paper bagged post match.

Great Khali vs. Jey Uso

 

What do you think is going to happen here?  No Singh with Khali here.  Jey tries to get some kicks in but Khali throws him around.  A dropkick sends Khali into the corner and here’s Jinder Mahal to yell at Khali some more.  Khali goes to the floor to stare him down and almost gets counted out because of it.  Back in the chop and Khali Bomb ends this at 2:05.  Total squash for all intents and purposes.  Someone, perhaps Jimmy Uso, comes in and gets chopped also as he checks on Jey.

Apparently Christian said he’ll be 100%.  Orton says that’s not going to be enough.

Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry

 

Henry takes him back into the corner to start and the power game takes over rather quickly.  The less orange than usual Orton is sent to the floor and the beating continues.  Back in and Orton gets a few shots in and a dropkick sends Henry to the floor.  Back with another dropkick doing the same.  It was one of those commercials where nothing changed so I’m not adding the time to the clock.

Back in and Henry gets a powerslam for no cover as Booker freaks out.  Oh there’s the cover but there was a delay in between.  Henry shouts that he owns Orton.  I wonder if he sees fried chicken when he looks at Orton.  Off to an armbar because when you think big, strong, mad, ticked off Texan, you think armbar.  Orton hits the rope and runs over Henry and adds some knee drops to take over.

The Garvin Stomp begins as it amazes me that he’s stealing stuff from Ronnie Freaking Garvin.  Dude, were there no Kansas Jayhawk moves available?  Henry hits the floor to avoids the RKO but gets caught in position for the elevated DDT.  And never mind as here’s Sheamus for the DQ at 5:45.

Rating: C-. Not much of a main event at all here but at the same time they were just doing this for the save at the end which is fine.  Henry is a guy that I do not get the point in but he’s gotten pushes for nearly 15 years now so there you are.  Anyway, weak match for the most part and nothing of note at all as it was more there to set up an angle rather than be a match but whatever.

Christian does the same thing that Orton did earlier and waits a bit on the stage before coming in for the save.  Randy is all ticked off about the delay but Christian is like dude I was having an awesome game of Parcheesi with Corre.  Anyway the monsters come in again and get beaten down.  RKO to Henry sets up a handshake to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Not much here but we did get two additional matches for the PPV.  There was no real feeling here of needing to see anything but they played up some of the PPV matches with the emphasis being on the world title, which is exactly what they needed to do.  I can’t imagine that Christian will get the title back on Sunday but they’ve at least made it seem possible which is the right idea.  Not bad, but nothing special at all.

Results

Christian b. Sheamus – Small Package

Brie Bella b. Natalya – Faceplant

Ezekiel Jackson/Kane/Big Show b. Corre – Torture Rack to Gabriel

Daniel Bryan vs. Chavo Guerrero went to a time limit draw

Ted DiBiase b. Trent Barreta – Dream Street

Randy Orton b. Mark Henry via DQ when Sheamus interfered




NXT – May 17, 2011 – This Show Is About Rookies Isn’t It?

NXT
Date: May 17, 2011
Location: American Bank Center Arena Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal

FINALLY, it’s the 11th week of the show and it’s time for the first elimination in this series.  This isn’t an interesting show in the slightest and it’s not helping at all that the guys out there are rather boring indeed.  Hopefully O’Brian goes home tonight, which likely means it’ll be him vs. Novak in the final two because they’re the most bland out of all these guys.  If you don’t believe that that’s what it takes to win here, just ask Johnny Curtis.  Let’s get to it.

Naturally we open with a recap of the season and a voiceover saying it ends here for someone.  They’re still wild and young apparently.

Darren Young vs. Titus O’Neil

 

No Horny still so Titus shouts WHERE IS HE.  Young knows apparently but he’s being a meanie and won’t tell.  No Chavo either.  Did anyone check under the ring?  Young takes him down as he takes advantage of the big man’s emotions.  Titus takes over with power but takes a boot to the face after a two count.  Titus takes over again and we cut to the back with Chavo pounding on a box with chains on it, saying Horny is inside and needs help getting out.  He goes to get tools and Titus runs to the back to help and it’s a count out at 3:15.  Barely a match so no rating as about 30 seconds was footage from the back.

Titus gets Horny out, apparently knowing the back of the arena that well.  Chavo jumps him with a weapon of some kind and pulls Horny off by the beard.  Chavo shouts about remembering what Horny did to him and we go back to the arena where Young is still in the ring.  Young holds him down and Horny takes a Frog Splash.  Titus runs out for the save.

That’s What I Am ad.  You know, before the anti-bullying organization they started I kind of wanted to see it.  Now I want to hang a kid from a flag pole and berate him until he loses all conscious thought while taking his lunch money.

Horny has been taken to the hospital and Titus went with him.  That’s devotion to a leprechaun if I’ve ever seen it.

Package on Cena vs. Miz at the PPV.  This, as usual, takes far too much time.

Yoshi Tatsu vs. Byron Saxton

 

I love how Yoshi is just listed as being from Japan.  Not a city, not a part of it, just Japan.  They go to the corner to start as Regal won’t say who he thinks is going home but there’s an implication that it’s Novak.  They chop it out and Tatsu is all ticked off.  Arm drags commence and there’s the armbar by Yoshi.  Shining Wizard misses and here comes Saxton as the crowd goes silent.  Tatsu fights back with ease and fires off some kicks for two.  Yoshi goes up top and a spinwheel kick ends this clean at 3:30.  It’s as abrupt as it sounds.

Rating: D. About 10 months ago I saw Tatsu vs. Jericho in a match taped for Superstars.  It was an awesome ten minute plus match where Tatsu had me almost believing he could pull off the upset.  This was absolutely nothing like that.  Tatsu is more or less worthless here as are all Pros not named Chavo.  Terribly dull match that solved or helped nothing in the slightest.

Striker brings out Maryse who looks great in a blue dress.  She brings out Kozlov and O’Brian to talk about their bet with JTG and Novak.  Here are Novak and JTG appropriately enough.  Regal blasts both guys the entire time which is kind of amusing.  This is the finale of the bet which is which pro can make their rookie the most like their pro.  The audience is the judge as always.  Novak declares the crowd haters and bashes Regal a bit.  Novak raps a bit while JTG runs his mouth a lot.  For this bet it’s 6:30 because they’ve won hands down.  Regal’s reaction to this is priceless.

Vlad and O’Brian do some mostly synchronized dancing and some sambo/martial arts stuff.  Boards are broken.  Now what did those boards ever do to them?  Someone get the arbor foundation or whatever tree lovers are called!  Usually I would say this is as dumb as it sounds, but it’s actually dumber.  Naturally the dancing men that make Bruce Lee turn over and cover his eyes in his grave win.  JTG tries to jump Vlad and dang it we’re getting a match.

JTG vs. Vladimir Kozlov

 

This is joined in progress with JTG slapping Vlad, only to get suplexed as Vlad gets his Magnum TA on.  Well at least it’s not a tag match so we don’t have to watch the rookies fight.  JTG gets sent to the floor and yells at Regal, only to get taken back to the ring by Vlad.  Now Kozlov is sent to the floor as Regal talks about being in charge of the Ruthless (formerly Regal) Roundtable.  JTG takes over and sits on the arm as he hammers away.  That’s rather smart actually and not something you often see a guy do.

Modified X-Factor out of the corner by JTG which is called a Mug Shot.  Why is it that a majority of black wrestlers all have the character of thugs, jocks or savages?  Not saying they’ve done anything wrong mind you, but rather that they’re stereotyped so badly it’s unreal.  Vlad makes his comeback but gets caught in a neckbreaker to take him down.  A headbutt to the chest as JTG comes off the middle rope takes him down and a modified spinebuster ends JTG at 5:20.

Rating: D+. Just a match here which meant nothing for the most part.  Hopefully this is going to end the whole bet story and we can get rid of one of these guys.  Also, was there a point to this being on a show about the rookies?  It’s like parents fighting at a Little League game.  On the other hand it kept Novak and O’Brian out of the ring so how much can I complain?

Yoshi comes up to Maryse in the back and she talks about the stuff Cannon got her.  Yoshi breaks up with her and Maryse is like whatever.  Cannon pops up and promises her a shopping spree in this rather pointless segment.

Jacob Novak is gone first.  THANK GOODNESS!  Now get O’Brian out and this show is downright watchable.  He says the usual “I’ll be back” thing.  JTG rants to the fans as well.

Results

Darren Young b. Titus O’Neil via countout

Yoshi Tatsu b. Byron Saxton – Spinwheel kick from the top rope

Vladimir Kozlov b. JTG – Spinebuster

Jacob Novak was eliminated in 6th place




Monday Night Raw – May 16, 2011 – Let Nexus Ring!

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 16, 2011
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

It’s the final Raw before the Over the Limit PPV and we have our main event in the form of Cena vs. Miz for the title.  Other than that there isn’t a ton here so we’ll likely fill out the rest of the card tonight for the red show.  Over the Limit feels like a filler PPV which is rarely a good thing.  Hopefully Raw gives me a reason to not think that after tonight.  Let’s get to it.

Theme song opens us up.

Here’s Cena but before he can say anything Riley pops up on the stage.  Riley says he knows what Cena is going to say and introduces a video of Miz beating on Cena.  Here’s Miz -who looks weird without the title.  Riley talks about how everyone has underestimated Miz.  They’re in the ring now and Cena isn’t pleased.  We get some classic cheap heat on the San Antonio Spurs for choking.

Cena cracks some jokes and implies Miz is a kid/stupid and then turns serious.  He talks about how Miz has proven everyone wrong, but on Sunday he won’t be saying he’s awesome.  He’ll be saying he quits.  An E-Mail says that Miz can pick Cena’s opponent and the stipulation for tonight but it can’t involve Miz or Riley.  Miz isn’t sure yet on either option.

Kofi Kingston vs. CM Punk

 

I’m not sure if this is a step up for Kofi or a step down for Punk.  Punk takes over to start and tells Nexus to stay at the top of the ramp.  Kofi sends him to the floor and they come down, only to have Punk send them back again.  Punk fires off some elbows to the chest for two.  Knee drop gets the same.  He tries to go up top but Kofi gets a kick to the side of the head and the champ takes over.

That HUGE cross body gets two and New Nexus is looking worried.  Boom Drop hits despite Kofi running around for about 8 seconds beforehand.  He keeps looking at Nexus and misses Trouble in Paradise.  GTS can’t hit but Kofi misses his jump in the corner.  There’s the GTS and Punk gets the totally clean pin at 3:56.

Rating: C+. This was fine and I can live with Kofi losing here as he was distracted by Nexus and he lost to a guy with a far better resume than he had.  I’d love to see these guys get more time out there as the stuff they had worked quite well while it lasted.  This was fine for a TV match.

Punk says that was just the beginning and Nexus will become the most dominant force in WWE history.

Miz is talking to Ziggler and Vickie about possibly facing Cena I assume.

Brie Bella vs. Kelly Kelly

 

Non-title again.  We talk about the Divas on Twitter because that’s about all there is to talk about.  Kelly does her gymnast stuff as we keep talking about Twitter.  The Twins cheat a bit and Brie works on a chinlock.  Kelly spanks her a bit and a quick rollup/pinning combination ends this at 1:56.

Post match the Bellas beat down the blonde and it’s Kharma time.  HUGE pop for the music coming on too.  Kelly is out in the corner and Kharma goes after her, only to have a Bella hit Kharma in the back.  Implant Buster to the other one.  We do get the terrified Kelly eyes and Kharma picks her up by the jaw.  She flicks Kelly in the head, laughs, and leaves.

Miz talks to Big Show and gets cut off.

That’s What I Am ad.

Here’s Rey to address the situation with R-Truth from last week.  He says that he wants to prove to Truth that he had no business being in last week’s main event or any for that matter.  He’s still waiting as we go to a break.  Back and instead it’s Alberto coming out to see Rey.  He talks about how he’s a pure blooded Mexican unlike Rey.  Rey says he’s proud to be a Chicano and an American.  If Truth isn’t here, then he has no problem shutting Alberto’s mouth instead.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio

 

They start off very fast with Rey getting a kick to the chest and moving out of the way of a charging Alberto.  Codebreaker to the arm out of the corner as we take another break.  Back with more arm work by Alberto and Rey can’t quite fight back.  Alberto puts on an armbar.  Make that a LONG armbar.

Rey starts his comeback and here’s R-Truth up in the rafters.  He wants the cops to be called as there’s a thief here as Rey stole his title shot.  Alberto doesn’t take the chance to jump Rey or anything so once Truth shuts up Rey keeps the advantage.  He speeds things up a bit more and it’s 619 time, but Ricardo grabs Rey for the CHEAP DQ at 9:34 total.

Rating: D+. Very boring match here as it was about 80% armbar and commercial.  The point was to set up the Truth stuff post match but can’t you have a good match at the same time that you’re setting up an angle?  Pretty weak stuff overall and not what you would expect from these two.

The heels beat Rey down a bit more post match, working on the arm.  Truth runs in after they leave and beats him down even more, saying that on Sunday Rey is going to get got.  The mask is almost off Rey at this point when Truth leaves.

Miz recruits Punk and Mason Ryan.

Time for the contract signing for Cole and Lawler.  Lawler agrees that if Cole wins Cole gets the HOF ring and if it ever happens, Lawler will induct Cole into the Hall of Fame.  Cole signs immediately as does Lawler.  Michael is all happy about it and it turns out that Sunday is a Kiss My Foot match.  We get a clip of Ross being forced to kiss Cole’s feet last month and also a clip from the Kiss My Foot match against Bret Hart where Lawler was made to kiss Bret’s feet and then his own also.

Cole puts his disgusting foot on the table and Lawler says shut up.  That was Bret Hart and Cole is no Bret Hart.  He’s not even a Jack Swagger.  Cole runs his mouth off, talking about how no one remembers Swagger being a former world champion and the only reason Swagger was on Wrestlemania was because of Cole.  Swagger isn’t happy with this and says he’s all yours King before leaving.  Cole tries to make nice with Jerry and gets slammed down by the tie again.  On Sunday, Jerry is going to put his foot in Cole’s mouth and close it.  Cole is crying as the segment ends.

Miz is talking to Kane when Big Show comes up.  Kane leaves while Miz is still talking and the tag champs face Nexus next.

Cole is all annoyed now.

Big Show/Kane vs. Michael McGillicutty/David Otunga

 

Kane vs. McGillicutty to start us off and that goes badly for Genesis dude (NXT 2 reference if you didn’t watch the show).  Does that make Kane Nintendo Boy?  Big Show comes in and the Nexus actually manages to take him down.  Cole keeps apologizing for the tiniest things that tick Jerry off now which is a nice touch.  The non-champs work on Show’s leg as Punk runs his mouth a lot.

Show actually uses some nice leg work to get out of the hold but Otunga stops the tag.  Show gets a belly to back suplex to put both guys down and there’s the tag to Kane.  Otunga’s boots look like the ones Swagger usually wears.  Kane beats up both guys but here’s Ryan in for the…..not DQ as he doesn’t get any contact in.  Show takes him down on the floor and it’s chokeslam time.  Punk gets a kick to the back of the head and the McGillicutter ends Kane at 4:50.

Rating: C. Not bad here and nice to see a little surprise as Nexus might actually be getting a push for a change.  Nexus is never going to be as strong as they were at first but this is nice to see as instead of just standing around they actually get a few wins.  Hopefully the tag titles change hands soon though as Kane and Show can only do their unstoppable giants deal so long before it gets incredibly dull.

Truth is Miz’s latest recruit.  As long as they don’t have another match I have zero issues there.

We run down the Over the Limit card to fill in some time.

Kane and Show say the loss means nothing.  There’s a title match on Sunday against Nexus apparently.

Cena is up next and he runs into Ryder again.

Miz comes out and picks a no holds barred match.  Cena comes out to fight and is jumped by Jack Swagger, who is the opponent.

John Cena vs. Jack Swagger

 

Swagger starts off in control as Cole says this is why Swagger abandoned him.  Cena tries to fight back but Swagger takes him down and adds a leg drop.  The dueling Cena chants begin and Swagger adds a suplex.  Vader Bomb hits as we take a break.  Back and we see that Cena tried to fight back during the break on the floor but was rammed into the post.  Also Swagger got a shot in with the computer.

Back in the ring and Swagger gets a chair shot to the back and Cena is in big trouble.  Vader Bomb onto the chair gets two only as the fans are getting back into this.  Jack wedges the chair between the top and middle rope but here comes Cena.  Never mind as he gets caught in something resembling a half belly to belly/half spinebuster for two.

Ankle lock goes on but Cena rolls through and avoids a charging Swagger, sending him head first into the chair.  Cena starts the finishing sequence and with a look at Miz, the Attitude Adjustment sets up the STF for the tap out at 11:30 total.  Better match than I was expecting.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent main event here as Cena and Swagger continue to have rather solid chemistry together.  Cena gets to win a match by submission to prove that he can even though we already knew he could.  Swagger looked good out there and got to be in control the majority of the time, which is what they should have done.  Good stuff.

Miz lists off various ways he could make Cena quit on Sunday, suck as dropping Cena off the stage, slamming a camera into Cena as he’s against the stage (which he actually does, getting a big crack as it hits the stage) or he could find something under the ring to use on Cena.  Alex finds a pipe which he hands to Miz who climbs the stairs.

Miz says he won’t use any of those things because there are a million ways to beat Cena which Cena hasn’t thought of yet.  He says he’s going to find a way to make Cena quit that Cena has never seen before.  Cena looks a tiny bit worried/scared here.  Miz won’t use the pipe Sunday, but he will tonight.  Riley provides the distraction and Miz gets a shot in but Cena fights back and takes down Miz, standing tall to end the show.  Cena says Miz is going to need the million he has and a million more, because at Over the Limit Miz is going to say I Quit.  Staredown ends the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Not a bad show here as they added some stuff to the PPV as well as built up a bit of drama for it.  It still feels like a filler PPV but it’s more interesting now or at least more fleshed out.  For a go home show this was certainly adequate but it only gets my interest up for the PPV a little bit.  Good enough though.

Results

CM Punk b. Kofi Kingston – GTS

Kelly Kelly b. Brie Bella – Cradle

Rey Mysterio b. Alberto Del Rio via disqualification when Ricardo Rodriguez interfered

David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty b. Kane/Big Show – McGillicutter to Kane

John Cena b. Jack Swagger – STF




Smackdown – May 13, 2011 – Best Show In A Good While

Smackdown
Date: May 13, 2011
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

It should be interesting to see what happens on Smackdown now that we need to get ready for Over the Limit.  I’d assume we’ll have Randy vs. Christian announced but other than that it’s kind of hard to guess.  We’ll get the fallout from Big Zeke being thrown out of Corre so at least we have that to look forward to.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Christian winning the title and the loss last week.  Both matches were rather good and no one can ever take the time Christian had as champion away.  He got his title, but naturally his fanboys are crying foul over it.  Yes it was a short reign, but he got his title, so be happy for him.

Here’s Christian in the arena to open the show.  He doesn’t have a problem with what Teddy did last week because it was for the fans and he’s cool with that.  If Teddy didn’t do what he did last week then he’s not doing his job.  Christian wants to congratulate the new champion, whose name gets a nice reaction.  The rematch at Over the Limit is confirmed.  Last week he learned that he can beat Orton….and here’s Sheamus.

Sheamus wants to congratulate Teddy for causing Christian to lose what he worked so hard for so quickly.  It’s about what the fans want and according to the Irishman, the fans want to see a match between Sheamus and Christian RIGHT NOW.  And here’s Mark Henry because a match between two guys that could have a rather entertaining match is something we can’t have without a fat tub of goo like Henry right?

Henry says Sheamus isn’t who the people want to see face Christian.  He’s a red headed stepchild that talks funny.  The people are here to see Henry.  A match between the evildoers is teased until Sheamus suggests a handicap match.  Christian jumps Henry but gets beaten down until Orton makes the save.

After a break, Teddy makes the obvious tag team main event.  Christian thanks Randy for the save and Orton says it was to make sure Christian was at 100% for the title match.

Chavo does the ring announcing for the next match.

Sin Cara vs. Daniel Bryan

 

What a shock that Bryan had a nice run to start and is now in the middle of the midcard with nothing of note going on at all.  Who would have seen that coming?  The lights are all dark again and Chavo talks about how Cara stole his moves again.  Technical stuff to start and it’s a standoff.  Nice armdrag by Cara but Bryan gets him on the mat and works over the arm.

The fans seem into this but you never can tell on Smackdown.  More armdrags take Bryan down and a Tajiri elbow sends him to the floor.  HUGE Swanton Dive to the floor as we take a break.  Bryan gets a missile dropkick for two as we’re back.  Daniel channels his inner Rockette with some kicks as Cara is in more trouble than he’s ever been.  Surfboard by Bryan which never ceases to amaze me.  Chavo is taking credit for all of these moves being his.

Off to the arm by Bryan as he’s controlled the majority of this.  The good thing about WWE bringing in the more indy/internationally seasoned guys is that it gives them a long list of guys like Primo and Kidd and Bryan that can work a different style if they have to and it’s no problem for them.  Nice addition as WWE keeps going international.  Cara gets a victory roll for two and makes his comeback.  Big cross body off the top gets two for the masked dude.

Cara speeds things up again but an attempt at a second handspring elbow gets caught in a LeBell Lock attempt.  Cara avoids it and we hit the floor as Bryan hits another kick.  Back to the ring and Bryan goes up, only to have Chavo grab his leg.  The distraction lets Cara hit an enziguri to set up the C4 from the top which ends things at 7:37 shown of 11:07.  Not sure if Cara saw Chavo or not but I don’t think he did.

Rating: B. Rather entertaining TV match here with Bryan more than being able to keep up with Cara and using his regular stuff to take down the high flier.  The Chavo stuff is a nice touch and I’m kind of curious as to where it leads.  Maybe something with Cara not knowing what Chavo is saying in English and Chavo saying something different to him in Spanish?  Either way, very good match here and fun stuff indeed.

Post match Cara sees what Chavo did on the replay and isn’t pleased.  Cara shoves him down to a face pop.

We recap the Corre stuff from last week which saw Jackson beat Show with Corre’s help despite him not wanting it.  They beat him up later in the night.

Trace Adkins is here.  He sang at Tribute to the Troops so we’re supposed to care I guess.

Here’s Layla not in wrestling gear.  She hurt her knee in the match at Extreme Rules but it was worth it to get rid of McCool.  And Cole cuts her off.  No one wants to hear about any of the Divas apparently so let’s talk about Jerry Lawler.  Cole rants about the whole HOF thing and says that his mom will love the HOF ring he’s getting from Lawler.  Layla is still in the ring and tells him to shut up.

Cole keeps running his mouth about the Divas, saying they shouldn’t be in the WWE.  And here’s Kharma as this should be interesting.  Cole laughs at Layla while Booker says she’s coming for Cole.  Layla tries to run but gets tripped by Cole.  Implant Buster to Layla as Cole runs his mouth.  Kharma isn’t pleased and Cole backpedals, running into the Colemine.  Kharma laughs at him and leaves.  Cole’s face is great.

Wade Barrett vs. Kane

 

Non-title I think.  Show is in Mexico this week apparently.  I wonder if he’ll get to buy one of Tito Santana’s enchiladas in Tijuana.  Kane actually grabs a headlock to take Barrett to the mat.  Surprisingly technical stuff here as Kane hits his seated dropkick for two.  Cole makes fun of Booker for mentioning a manager’s license which is rather true actually.  Kane fires off on Barrett who runs.  Cole was a cheerleader in college apparently as we take a break.

Back with Barrett choking in the corner but Kane counters a suplex to take over.  And scratch that as Barrett grabs the arm to take over again.  Back and forth match here to say the least.  Boss Man Slam gets two and it’s back to the arm.  Kane has apparently shrunk down to 6’8 now.  The shrinking monster gets a Samoan Drop to break it up.  So the Spaniard hit a Samoan on the Englishman?

Clothesline in the corner sets up a sideslam for no cover as Slater jumps up for a distraction.  Wasteland doesn’t work as Kane takes Barrett down.  There goes the tag team also thanks to Kane.  Top rope clothesline gets a big reaction surprisingly enough.  Chokeslam is loaded up but Slater and Gabriel run in for the DQ at 6:03 shown of 9:33.

Rating: C+. Not bad here again as Barrett’s in ring work is still something that I like.  Kane is a guy you’re going to get a passable match out of and he works well with other big men so this was a good choice for a match here.  Good little TV match as the first half of this show has been rather entertaining indeed.

Corre beats Kane down post match, including Wasteland and the setup for the 450 but here’s Zeke to his old music for the save.  He destroys Corre for a bit until Barrett gets a big boot in.  And never mind as Jackson spears him into the corner and destroys him.  Jackson gets caught by the tag team again and the beatdown is on again.  450 to Jackson and he’s done.

Here are Singh and Khali, in cowboy hats.  It’s time for a country music edition of the Khali Kiss Cam.  He’s a fan of country music apparently.  This is less of a Kiss Cam and more of looking for a chick for Khali to kiss.  It stops on some chick in the front row (shocking) who bears a striking resemblance to Rhonda Sing.  Just a quick kiss here from the chick named Joy and here’s Jinder Mahal.  He’s taller than he looks, probably about 6’4.  Mahla slaps the hat off Khali and yells in Hindi.  There’s another slap to Khali and Mahal leaves all ticked off.

DON’T BULLY PEOPLE!  And pay no attention to all the bullies we employ!

Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes

 

Who would have thought a year ago that Cody would be so far and away ahead of DiBiase?  No entrance for Ted either.  The bag people come out with Cody.  Cody says this is the part where he’s supposed to entertain the people right?  Let’s entertain the fact that he’s not the freak, but rather the people are the freaks.  Cody hands Ted a bag and calls him a Priceless Friend.  Ted throws it down and there’s the bell.

We actually hear about Legacy as Ted takes over as the default face.  There’s that dropkick by Cody but he gets caught in a small package for two.  They exchange some nice rollups and pinning combinations but Ted charges and hits the post to stop the speed dead.  Cody fires off some headbutts with the mask but Ted is fine from them apparently.  Following clothesline by Ted but he can’t hit Dream Street.  Beautiful Disaster sets up Cross Rhodes to end this at 3:15.

Rating: C+. Far better than I was expecting here as Ted is a far better face than a heel.  Cody is one of the coolest heels in a long time because he is into his character.  I’d bet a lot that his papa taught him how to do that, which goes to show what old school can do.  Cody comes off as a guy that actually is tormented and insane rather than playing someone who is tormented and insane which makes a world of difference.

Striker is with Corre who says they want Jackson to come back later.  Barrett challenges Zeke for an IC Title match at Over the Limit.  Didn’t see that one coming.

Randy Orton/Christian vs. Mark Henry/Sheamus

 

I think Christian’s pop might have been slightly bigger than Orton.  And never mind as Orton’s more or less doubled when he came through the curtain.  Oddly enough the good guys come out first.  Christian vs. Sheamus to start us off.  Booker talks about how Sheamus and Henry have no chemistry yet somehow Christian and Orton would have more.  Why?  Well no one ever accused Booker of making sense.

After some basic stuff with the starters, Henry comes in and runs…..he runs…..ok he waddles over Christian and takes him down but it’s off to Orton who has better luck.  Booker bashes Teddy for making Christian defend last week which is bogus but who cares about that.  We almost get a beatdown on the floor on Orton but Christian makes the save as we take a break.

Back with Henry working over Orton again but Orton gets a shot in to break that up.  Off to Christian who takes Henry down with a dropkick but gets caught ala Flair off the top.  Off to the pale one who hooks on the crossface chickenwing.  Back to Henry who stands on Christian’s chest for a bit.  Christian starts his comeback against Sheamus, hitting the reverse DDT and it’s hot tag time.

Elevated DDT is countered into the Irish Curse for two though and our hero is in trouble.  Brogue Kick misses and there’s the DDT.  Christian gets a blind tag and hits the Killswitch on Sheamus as Orton gets an RKO to Henry.  Christian pins Sheamus at 7:40 shown of 11:10.  They shake hands to end the show.

Rating: C. This was your run of the mill main event tag match.  Not a bad match or anything but at the same time there wasn’t much they were going to be able to do.  I’m not really sure what this accomplished as Henry and Sheamus I guess just want title shots but that’s only implied at the moment.  Either way, not bad but nothing of note at all.

Overall Rating: A-. This was an awesome show and the whole thing worked.  When the worst match is a passable tag match, it’s hard to complain about anything.  You had a bunch of stuff get advanced, a pair of title matches added to the PPV, advancement of some storylines and a new development with Kong going after Cole.  This was a very good show that did a lot in a hurry, which is always a good thing.

Results

Sin Cara b. Daniel Bryan – Top Rope C4

Kane b. Wade Barrett via DQ when Corre interfered

Cody Rhodes b. Ted DiBiase – Cross Rhodes

Christian/Randy Orton b. Mark Henry/Sheamus – Killswitch to Sheamus




NXT – May 10, 2011 – This Show Flew By, Literally

NXT
Date: May 10, 2011
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal

This is the tenth week and we still have no word on eliminations so I’m just going to forget about them now.  There’s nothing to note on this show other than the potential of this being the week when Novak fights Regal.  This would be the second week when that is supposed to happen so who knows.  Anyway let’s get to it.

Regal is in gear and apparently it’s his birthday.

Striker is back as a host here and brings out Maryse.  We get a clip of her getting beaten down by Kharma which means we see Kelly in those tiny white shorts which means I smile a bit.  I’m not sure if it’s just my video but the video is going in semi-fast forward.  Striker talks about the Redemption Points which Titus leads with 13.  Naturally this contest is worth six, making the previous few weeks completely pointless.

THERE IS AN ELIMINATION NEXT WEEK!!!!  THANK GOODNESS!!!  This is called King of the Hill and all you have to do is run up to the stage, grab a flag and come back to the ring and sound off an air horn.  Everyone goes at once so this takes like 15 seconds.  The fast forward thing makes it even funnier.  Titus wins, giving him 19 total points with second being something like 7.  Titus gets on the mic and says he doesn’t know where Horny is and no one else does.  He accuses Young of knowing something about it and says if Young doesn’t admit it he’ll beat it out of him.

Darren Young vs. Titus O’Neil

 

Look at these fresh matches NXT is giving us!  They’re still in fast motion here and the times will be just in seconds as I don’t know what else to do.  Young tries to leave but Titus pulls him back, shouting WHERE IS HE.  Young takes over and works on the arm.  I’m not sure if the sound is sped up also or not.  Chavo criticizes Young, saying he wasn’t known in the first season of NXT.  Did no one watch the show?

Some forearms get two for Young.  Crowd flat out does not care.  An electric chair gets Titus out of trouble and gets a gasp from the crowd for some reason.  Chavo again denies that he took Horny as a powerslam gets two for Titus.  A few seconds later a rollup ends Titus, giving him his first loss at 5:22

Rating: C-. Boring match that the fans didn’t really seem to care about.  Titus is clearly being pushed as the megastar of this season but they have him lose to a guy like Young.  I really don’t get that but I’m sure it makes sense in Vince’s mind.  That would of course imply that Vince knew this show existed, so we’ll go with it makes no sense.

Kozlov and O’Brian (sans mustache) do some sambo which O’Brian isn’t that good at.

Conor O’Brian vs. Byron Saxton

 

They’re still moving in fast motion.  I refreshed my browser and all that jazz so I’m guessing the production guys want this show to be over even more than I do.  O’Brian works on the arm for a bit as Regal says Cannon is in the lead in his eyes.  He’s making people notice him which makes sense.

The crowd flat out does not care and there’s nothing at all going on.  Regal points out the lack of fire in the guys too so it’s probably one of them going home next week.  O’Brian stays on offense the majority of the time here and puts on a stepover toehold.  Saxton fights back with a downward stunner and a bulldog type move before a middle rope elbow to the chin ends this at 4:57.

Rating: D-. Regal was right: there was nothing of note here at all.  They flat out didn’t care and there’s no reason at all to care about any of these people.  Cannon is the only one that gets a reaction as Titus gets pops because of the leprechaun and that’s about it.  Boring match all around and the lack of charisma by everyone shows through really badly here.

Saxton goes even more heel by saying Tatsu is too stupid to get that he doesn’t want him as his pro anymore.

Cannon gives Maryse a nice purse and she likes him now.  There’s your romance triangle this season.

Smackdown Rebound is about Christian and Orton from Friday.

We recap Regal vs. Novak, which is old school vs. new school for the most part.

William Regal vs. Jacob Novak

 

Novak has a little Grandmaster Sexay going on.  Novak represents the 3 S’s: street, skills and style.  JTG is heel now apparently and he makes fun of country music to prove it.  Regal sends him to the floor with relative ease.  Crowd cheers for Regal louder than they have for everything else all night.  Elbow in the corner sends Regal to the floor where JTG adds a dropkick.

Novak takes over and a knee lift gets two.  We hit the chinlock for awhile as we talk about the elimination a bit.  Clothesline puts Regal down again.  Striker talks about how good Novak is and I keep wondering what these people are talking about when they say that.  Back to the chinlock which doesn’t last as long.  Regal fights back and takes over with relative ease and the Regal Stretch ends this at 6:20.

Rating: C. Well I think we all knew that was the ending, especially given that Regal was turning 43 today.  Not much of a match but having an actual story really helped this as they had built it up to the point where you wanted Regal to show Novak who the master was out there and that’s exactly what you got.  Can’t ask for more than that.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event was by far and away better than anything else, but other than the announcement that we’re FINALLY getting to an elimination, nothing really happened here.  Horny is missing and after about 8 minutes that wasn’t mentioned again.  Oh and Maryse can be bought with purses.  Other than that, we have nothing here but thankfully someone (please O’Brian!) is gone next week.

Results

Titus O’Neil won the King of the Hill Challenge

Darren Young b. Titus O’Neil – Rollup

Byron Saxton b. Conor O’Brian – Middle rope elbow

William Regal b. Jacob Novak – Regal Stretch




Monday Night Raw – May 9, 2011 – A Far More Energetic Show This Week

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 9, 2011
Location: Thompson-Boling Arena, Knoxville, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

We’re two weeks away from Over the Limit and unless I’m overlooking it there aren’t any matches officially made.  After the previous week’s birthday party for Rock we can finally get back to the regular stuff on Monday nights.  I’d bet on more with Miz and Cena as Miz can say he got a pinfall on Cena in a title match as a validation for another match.  Let’s get to it.

Here’s Alberto to open the show.  He says that he should be champion but Edge stole it from him.  Why did we waste so much time on Rock last week?  It should have been a celebration of the arrival of Alberto.  He says he should get the title shot so here’s Rey to offer a rebuttal.  He says Alberto will one day be Ricardo’s announcer.  Is that even an insult?  Rey wants a match tonight for the #1 contendership.

Alberto starts to talk but Miz and Riley come out to interrupt.  Miz blames Riley for losing the title last week but Alberto says that was his chance.  Miz says he got the job done but the referee was prejudiced.  He makes a Taco Bell joke which will probably get him criticized for making racial remarks because people are stupid.  Truth comes out to no music and talks about…..hospital food?

Ah apparently it’s due to Morrison having a neck injury and being out for months for neck surgery.  Truth gets in all their faces and calls Miz Kermit, Mysterio bottle-nosed and Alberto a pompous Mexican fence jumper.  “When an angry black man is talking y’all need to shut it up.”  Something about kicking dogs and cats is mentioned but long story short, Truth wants the title shot.  E-Mail says we’re going to have a triple threat match between Miz, Alberto and……we get another E-Mail to announce that the third man is Rey Mysterio.

Truth doesn’t like it and Mysterio wants Truth in the match which he says means he agrees with the GM.  Did I miss something there?  Anyway Miz says the next WWE Champion is…..but he can’t finish as Ricardo cuts him off and says Ricardo.  RICARDO DROPKICKS RILEY!!!  Miz hits the floor and Rey dives on Ricardo to end this segment as we take a break.

Bella Twins vs. Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres

 

I think that’s Brie vs. Kelly to start us off.  The Bellas double team her for two.  Apparently Cena gets to pick the stipulation for the title match at the PPV.  Kelly gets a headscissors to take down Nikki and spanks her a bit.  Small package by Brie (I think) is reversed into one by Kelly for the pin at 1:25.  We get to the point quickly as Kharma comes out.  The Bellas try to sneak off and manage to get by.  Eve tries to jump Kharma and gets left laying via a slam.  Kelly runs off and it’s an Implant buster for Eve.

Kane vs. Mason Ryan next.

Kane vs. Mason Ryan

 

Punk and Show are here with their respective people.  Ryan shoves him around with ease to start us off.  Kane fires away and knocks him into the corner but gets his head taken off with a clothesline.  We go WAY old school with an Oklahoma Stampede for two.  Punk distracts Kane so Show kills him dead with the punch.  McGillicutty and Otunga run in for the DQ at 2:14.  Double chokeslam to Ryan and the tall guys stand…..well tall.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Santino Marella

 

Dolph is all evil and orange here as he beats down Santino quickly.  After a quick beatdown Santino gets some offense in but a dropkick takes him down as he loads up the Cobra.  Zig Zag ends this in 1:40.

We actually get a Smackdown Rebound for the first time in forever.  It’s of Christian having his moment as champion and losing the title that night to Orton.

Truth is about to leave and calls conspiracy.  Apparently he’s been getting letters asking him to sing and dance again.  His eyes are bugging out of his head as he says this.  There’s a country accent thrown in and there’s no more, because that’s the Truth.  He leaves but comes back to get the interviewer to say What’s Up and then leaves.

Cena fist pumps with Ryder and heads to the ring.

We get a recap of the title match last week and Riley costing Miz the title.  Miz yells at Riley all over again.  He calls Riley a troglodyte and says he’s stupid.  Riley says he’ll make it up to Miz so watch this.

Riley walks down the hall and out into the arena.  Did Cena get lost on his way to the ring?  Riley says the only person that he cares about is the Miz.  He challenges Cena to a match and here’s the champ.

John Cena vs. Alex Riley

 

Very pro-Cena crowd tonight.  Cena takes Riley down with ease and then does it again.  A charge misses in the corner though and Riley gets a clothesline for two.  Chinlock goes on by Riley but Cena starts up his ending sequence.  A pair of AA’s as Miz comes out sets up the STF to end this at 3:12.

Rating: D. Just a squash here but Riley actually got in some offense.  Total dominance by Cena but did you really expect anything else?  I’m not sure how this proves anything to Miz but I guess Riley’s heart was in the right place.  Nothing else to say here so I’ll keep typing a bit to fill in space.

Cole announces his retirement from in ring competition.  Lawler comes in and wants a clip of the beatdown from Rock last week.  Cole talks about going into the Hall of Fame and Lawler says if Cole can beat Lawler again, he’ll give Cole his HOF ring and induct Cole into the Hall of Fame.  Cole turns it down in a bit of a surprise.

Cole gets in the Cole Mine and makes fun of Tennessee.  His mind was made up yesterday about his retirement because it was Mother’s Day.  Cole flew his mother into Texas and they watched Cole beat him at Mania.  Lawler wouldn’t be able to spend Mother’s Day with his mom because his mom died in February.  Lawler storms the Cole Mine but Swagger makes the save as we take a break.

US Title: Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston

 

Technical stuff to start here as Cole imitates breaking news to say that Lawler is in pain.  Swagger gets sent to the floor but gets a shot to Kofi, sending him to the floor as we take a break.  Back with Swagger sending Kofi into the corner, only to get knocked backwards.  Running knee to the gut takes Kofi down again though.

Vader Bomb eats knees but Trouble in Paradise misses.  Top rope cross body gets two.  Kofi tries to skin the cat (why is it called that anyway?) but Swagger grabs the ankle.  Kofi tries a tornado DDT but gets shoved off and the ankle gives out.  Lawler comes out and the distraction is enough for Trouble in Paradise to end this at 8:23 total.

Rating: C. Just your standard match between these two which was fine.  They’ve wrestled each other a few hundred times now so they can probably have a passable match in their sleep.  Lawler coming down is fine as it plays into the bigger angle.  Fine for a TV match and that’s all it needed to be.

Post match Lawler sends Swagger into the post and then the crowd and goes to the Cole Mine but can’t get in.  Lawler throws a chair into the Mine but settles for reaching into the glory hole to grab the tie.  He pulls the tie, ramming Cole’s head into the wall time after time.  Cole’s face all stuck up against the wall had me dying from laughter.  Swagger says Lawler is fired but Lawler says he just touched his tie.  Swagger accepts the match for Cole which he isn’t happy with.

Video about the premiere of That’s What I Am, which apparently is being well received.

The Miz vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio

 

Winner gets Cena at Over the Limit.  No Riley with Miz.  Standard formula here as we have two guys go at it while the third is down.  The bad guys fight in the ring and Miz escapes the cross armbreaker.  Rey comes back in and gets a sunset flip for two on Del Rio.  Miz vs. Mysterio now but Del Rio breaks up the 619.  Rey gets sent to the floor by Alberto so Miz tries the Skull Crushing Finale.  That misses and a double clothesline puts everyone down as we take a break.

Back with Alberto kicking Miz back to the floor so he can work on Mysterio some more.  After more of a beating on Rey, Miz pulls the rope down to send Del Rio to the floor.  Sunset flip doesn’t hit and Rey hits a kick to the head for two.  They all go to the floor with Rey diving on Alberto to take him down.  Alberto and Rey go back into the ring and Rey speeds things up again and takes him down with a headscissors.

Miz pops back up and heads up top, only to get crotched.  Rollup gets two on Alberto.  Sweet top rope rana by Rey to Miz but he gets caught in the Codebreaker to the arm and the Cross Armbreaker.  Miz breaks it up and gets rolled up for two.  DDT gets two on Alberto.  Finale is blocked by Rey and Miz hits the floor again.  Riley comes back out to help Miz as Del Rio can’t powerbomb Rey.  619 to Alberto sets up the top rope splash but Riley makes the save.  Miz runs in with a rollup to get the pin on Rey at 13:45 total.

Rating: C+. This was your usual run of the mill triple threat match to start but at the end they cranked it up and with another 3 minutes or so this would have been very good.  Miz winning probably makes the most sense so you can’t really complain about him winning.  Good stuff here and good to see Miz keep his main event spot for the time being.

Cena picks an I Quit match for the PPV.

Back in the ring Truth pops up to lay out Mysterio to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. I liked this show a lot.  While the matches were short, a lot of stuff happened tonight and with a short amount of time before the PPV, that’s exactly what they needed here.  There are still questions about what’s coming for the PPV which makes me want to see what’s next on the show.  Good stuff all around tonight as there was an energy tonight that we haven’t had in awhile.  Much better show than the last few weeks.

Results

Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres b. Bella Twins – Small Package to Brie

Kane b. Mason Ryan via disqualification when Nexus ran in

Dolph Ziggler b. Santino Marella – Zig Zag

John Cena b. Alex Riley – STF

Kofi Kingston b. Jack Swagger – Trouble in Paradise

The Miz b. Alberto Del Rio and Rey Mysterio – Rollup to Mysterio




Smackdown – May 6, 2011 – Let The Fanboys Revolt!

Smackdown
Date: May 6, 2011
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida=
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

We’re out of Extreme Rules now and it’s time to get ready for Over the Limit.  Christian has finally won a world title and is here tonight for his first night on the show as champion.  Other than that we’re also officially in the new era of Smackdown with the Draft picks officially being on the show tonight.  I’d assume we’ll start building to the next PPV tonight.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a video of Christian and his career leading up to the world title win on Sunday.  Think that’ll be a theme tonight?

Here’s Christian with the title and of course Cole runs his mouth to make sure the moment isn’t focused on him at all.  I get that you can talk, but there are moments you’re not supposed to talk during.  Cole needs to get this through his head QUICK.  Christian says that he needs to do something and he holds up the title over his head in a pretty cool visual.

It feels great to be champion and he’s worked seventeen years to get here.  Edge sent him a text message saying to enjoy the moment because he earned it.  Christian starts crying a bit and thanks Edge and talks about the Peeps, thanking them for being there all the way for them.  As he’s talking, Mark Henry of all people comes out to interrupt him.

Henry was cheering for him the entire time because he knew he could take the title from him easily.  Henry is getting a main event push?  Must have been two years since he got his last one.  Christian says the belt isn’t made of chocolate.  Edge isn’t here to protect him anymore.  Before he gets anything else out though, here’s Khali to interrupt also.  Singh says Khali says the champion should be someone that has been through stuff like you have in the jungle, like the Great Khali.

Christian talks about Khali being in a tutu on Raw and here’s Orton to a MONSTER pop.  He wants his name thrown into the hat for a title shot.  Here’s Teddy to settle things.  The decision is up to the WWE Universe to pick who gets the title match.  Considering Teddy has to stop for a Randy chant I think the outcome is obvious.  Teddy says Orton wins the poll and the match is TONIGHT.

Back with Singh telling Khali that he’ll get another title match.  They run into Jinder Mahal again who speaks some English this time, saying that things will get better now that he’s here.  Khali leaves and Singh talks to Mahal (towers over Singh) in English.  Mahal isn’t happy with the tutu Khali was in on Sunday.  He comes off as a cocky heel.

Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

 

Sheamus grabs a headlock takeover to start and the beating starts early.  Bryan sends him to the floor and a suicide dive takes down the human jar of mayonnaise.  This is another basic power vs. speed match and there’s nothing wrong with that in the slightest.  Backbreaker hits as we take a break.  Back with Sheamus holding an armbar the smaller dude.

With Bryan in the ropes Sheamus pounds away as other than that big dive this has been totally one sided.  Shoulder block gets two.  Superplex doesn’t work and a dropkick puts Sheamus down and gives Bryan a chance to breathe.  Well Sheamus’ song does talk about fighting for air so Bryan is just following the instructions Sheamus’ theme music gave him.  Big kick to the head gets two for Bryan.

Double axe puts Bryan back down but the Razor’s Edge (screw the actual name of it as Cole changes it every five matches) is countered into a LeBell Lock which is too close to the rope.  Sheamus hits the floor and Bryan tries the suicide dive again.  In a nice bit of psychology, Sheamus catches him with a Brogue Kick.  Another in the ring and we’re done at 5:35 shown of 9:05.

Rating: B. Good match here as the power vs. speed stuff was working very well indeed.  The psychology at the end there was a very nice touch and something you don’t see enough of in WWE.  With Sheamus learning as the match goes on and drawing on experience from earlier he counters the second attempt.  Nice touch there with the brawler beating the thinking wrestler by out thinking him.

Here’s Cody Rhodes in a suit.  I love the headlines on the screen of him being disfigured and losing his mind because of it.  The people with the bags are here with him.  The lights are off other than a spotlight on Cody.  Rey has injured him again with the mist from Sunday.  Cody talks about how he forced Rey to expose himself….somehow.  His eyes are still burning but even through burning eyes he can see that everyone here is still ugly.  The bags go out, including to a good looking blonde.  The bags may offend you, but the people’s faces disgust him.  He’s awesomely into this character and it’s great.

We get a quick recap of the bonus tag title match on Sunday with Jackson dominating the entire time until Barrett tried to get the glory.

Big Show vs. Ezekiel Jackson

 

Show is on Raw but he’s a tag champion so he can be on both shows.  All of the Corre is here with Jackson.  Kane comes out to even the odds a bit because those two vs. Corre has gone SO well in the past right?  We ring the bell after a break which helps my timing a lot.  Well I’d assume it rang just as we came back as they don’t seem to have done much but were locked up when we came back.  Hindrances all around.

Show uses technical stuff of all things and gets a front facelock.  Jackson is like screw that and backdrops Show with ease.  Jackson rams into Show and a slam gets two.  Off to a chinlock as I think Jackson has a minor hernia.  Suplex gets Show out of the hold as this is better than it sounds.  Show fires off some clotheslines to set up the chokeslam.  Corre tries to get involved but Kane fights them off….kind of.  Everything breaks down into a brawl until we get back into the ring.  Jackson gets a boot and a big clothesline for the pin at 3:32 shown.

Rating: C+. Not bad here as the battle of the big men worked pretty well here I thought.  Jackson’s power is scary stuff as he was throwing Show around even better than Cena does and almost at the level Lesnar was.  I probably overrated this but this was one of the better battles of the big men I’ve seen in awhile.

Jackson leaves on his own, much like Ryan did on Raw.

Time for the Raw portion of the show as we get the same video from NXT on Rock’s birthday.  That I’m Coming Home song would be far better if Diddy wasn’t in it at all.  Eats up four minutes.

Layla vs. Alicia Fox

 

I’m not complaining about Fox’s hips that have a mind of their own, but what exactly is she supposed to be?  Layla is still trying this face turn so I guess this is her debut on the light side of the Force.  And never mind as the Layout ends this in 52 seconds.  As eventful as it sounds.  There was some standing around, some lockups, some more standing around, a shoulder to the ribs in the corner and the neckbreaker.  You put the order together yourselves.

Kharma comes out post match and ends Alicia with a clothesline, apparently legit injuring her.  Nothing to Layla as her smorgasbord of heels continues.  No one bet on that one so points for a surprise I guess.  Layla had the sense to RUN AWAY unlike Kelly who just sat there.  Alicia actually tried hitting her.  Oh yeah Alicia landed right on her shoulder there.  Implant Buster finishes this.

In the back Corre comes up to Jackson and they aren’t happy.  Barrett says look at him and Jackson drills him.  The numbers eventually catch up to him and the beatdown is on.  Chair to the…..uh…..somewhere from Barrett is finally enough to slow him down.  They shove what looks like a big laundry basket on him and leave him laying, out cold.

Chavo is on commentary for the next match.

Sin Cara vs. Tyson Kidd

 

He nails the entrance this time.  They do the lights thing again for this match.  Chavo sounds like he’s gearing up for a feud with Cara.  Cara is moving too fast to call every thing.  A double revolution rana sends Kidd to the floor where Kidd takes over for a bit.  Cara is like screw this and fires off some kicks and a Tajiri elbow.  Springboard cross body gets two.  Chavo says Cara is stealing most of these moves from him.  Kidd gets in a kick and tries what looks to be a tornado DDT, but gets caught in the C4 from the top to end this at 2:48.

Rating: C+. FAR better than his Raw stuff as either the lack of being live or the editing makes Cara look about 20x better.  Probably too short to grade but they’re my ratings so who cares?  They got a ton of stuff in here and it felt a lot longer than it was, but in a good way.  Chavo is a good guy to put him with as he knows lucha libre and can probably keep up with Cara for the most part.  Good match and Cara’s best yet by far.

Chavo stares Cara down post match and shakes his hand.

Video on the anti-bullying campaign from Raw.  Yes, we get it.  Bullying is bad.  I’m so fed up with it that I want to go beat up a 9 year old and take his lunch money.

Teddy says it’s fair for Christian to defend the title tonight because it’s what the fans want.  Also Orton had a last man standing match on Raw and Cena defended the title just one day after Raw.  Both good points.  Long says that it’s his job to make Smackdown unpredictable.  Foreshadowing of a new style on Fridays perhaps?

Smackdown World Title: Randy Orton vs. Christian

 

This show has flown by it seems.  Regarding Christian’s pop, in the words of Riddler from Batman Forever, “Your entrance was good, his was better.”  Headlock by Orton to start but Christian gets a shoulder for two.  Orton hammers away and the crowd eats it up with a spoon like soup or Jello or pork or other things eaten with a spoon.  The champ sends him to the floor and gets a delayed baseball slide to take Orton down, only to be taken down as well as we take a break.

Back in the ring with Orton in total control.  Orton works on the ribs and gets a reverse waistlock (looks like he’s about to hit a German) which looks like the cover of a very freaky Christmas card.  They hit the floor via a Cactus Clothesline by Orton as we take break #2.  Back with Christian holding a chinlock for only a few seconds.  Orton gets a belly to back and both guys are down.

They slug it out a bit and Orton hits that gorgeous dropkick to put Christian down.  He goes all psycho but Christian gets the pendulum kick in the corner and a middle rope missile dropkick for two.  Guillotine over the top sets up a cross body off the top for two for Christian.  Fans are way into this.  Middle rope elbow (love that move still) hits and let the clapping begin!

For some reason Christian charges at him and gets caught by a powerslam for two.  Christian slides to the floor to try a right hand to Randy as he’s in a 619 position but Orton avoids it to hit the elevated DDT for two.  Angle Slam is countered into a reverse DDT for two.  Slam hits this time and it’s RKO time.  Since it’s the first attempt it’s countered as is the Killswitch.  Christian goes to the middle rope and tries a spinning something off of it, proving why he’s an idiot as YOU DON’T JUMP AT ORTON!  RKO ends the 5 day reign at 10:08 shown of 17:08.

Rating: B. Good match here and Christian definitely looked strong throughout.  People are going to complain about the reign looking bad due to it being too short, but at the same time he had two matches and this was by far the weaker one and this was a very good TV match.  Orton is a far bigger star and Christian got the reign that everyone wanted him to get.  The fanboys will be up in arms over it, but you have to just ignore them as they’ll never be pleased.  He got his title, he got his moment, he had two great matches and lost it.  No harm no foul in my eyes.

Christian leaves the ring to an ovation and looks like he’s forced to retire.  Pretty sad moment but it’s not like he’s leaving forever.  He lost clean.  The shot of him going into the back ends the show.

Overall Rating: B. Two good matches, some storyline developments and a new world champion make this hard to go against.  A lot of the matches were short but a nice long main event more than makes up for it.  They didn’t really have things in neutral but with such a short turn around before the next PPV I’m not sure they can do anything but Christian vs. Orton II at Over the Limit.  Still though, very solid show as Smackdown looks good going forward.

Results

Sheamus b. Daniel Bryan – Brogue Kick

Ezekiel Jackson b. Big Show – Clothesline

Layla b. Alicia Fox – Layout

Sin Cara b. Tyson Kidd – Top rope C4

Randy Orton b. Christian – RKO