Monday Night Raw
Date: January 31, 2011
Location: Dunkin’ Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re officially on the Road to Wrestlemania now with our Royal Rumble winner being Alberto Del Rio.  Tonight he’s making his selection for an opponent at Wrestlemania.  It’ll be interesting to see if that match stands up past the Elimination Chamber but still it’s fun to see.  Also we see who is next to face Miz which appears to be Cena.  This is one of the most exciting times of the year, so let’s get to it.

Edge vs. Miz tonight and there must be a winner due to the interference last week.

Here’s Alberto for the big announcement to start the show.  He brings out a Mariachi band (King: they need more cowbell) to play Alberto’s theme song.  He comes out in a sweet 2011 Mercedes which he bought as a celebration present to himself.  Alberto says he said he’d win the Rumble and that he told us so.  Ricardo repeats individual lines that Alberto says.  He says this Mariachi band only performs for the Mexican President and him.  They’re real music, not Justin Bieber.

Alberto picks the…sera?  I’m not sure what he said but it wasn’t picking a title.  Instead here’s Miz to hear the announcement himself.  It sounded like a moderate face pop for actually.  He congratulates Alberto and says that he’ll be champion at Mania while Edge will lose in the Elimination Chamber.  Miz heard Edge talking trash about Del Rio last night, including saying the cars are rentals.  Del Rio thinks this is a ploy, but here comes Edge to a big pop.

Edge says he doesn’t like or respect Del Rio.  He wouldn’t say those things behind his back though as he’d say them to his face instead.  Edge will be champion at Mania and is the Rated R Superstar, which was said with a Spanish accent.  Del Rio picks Edge and Edge drills him.  Miz and Riley bail so Del Rio can jump Edge.  He breaks the guitar over the arm of Edge and locks on the Cross Armbreaker which has Edge tapping it seems.  Injury angle perhaps?

Nexus vs. Santino/Kozlov for the titles next.

Back and we recap the previous segment and get an E-Mail.  Tonight there’s a Raw Rumble Match.  Seven people in it and the winner gets Miz at Elimination Chamber.  The other six go into the Chamber, I’d assume for the shot at Mania but that isn’t specified.  Tonight it’s Orton vs. Punk vs. Morrison vs. R-Truth vs. Sheamus vs. Jerry Lawler vs. John Cena.  So wait, Lawler is either getting a PPV Title match or will be in the Elimination Chamber?  That’s uh…not going to go well I don’t think.

Tag Titles: Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov vs. Michael McGillicutty/Husky Harris

Santino vs. Michael to start.  We talk about Santino almost pulling off the miracle last night which was mind blowing for various reasons.  Michael puts him in the corner to start but misses a Stinger Splash.  Off to Vladimir now who hammers away but gets caught in the knee to shift momentum.  Santino and Husky in now with Husky actually losing for a bit.

A cross body by Santino runs into more or less a wall though and Nexus controls again.  Neckbreaker by McGillicutty gets two and Santino is sent to the floor as we take a break.  Back with Michael getting two on Santino.  Santino finally breaks the momentum and it’s off to Harris and Kozlov, who actually gets a solid pop.  Everything breaks down and Santino gets a tag.  He gets the Cobra to Harris for the pin to retain at 9:12.

Rating: C. Not bad here but more or less completely average.  The ending kind of surprised me but with Kozlov and Santino being so popular at the moment it makes no sense to not keep the belts on them.  The match itself was fine but nothing special.  Just a TV tag match and that’s all it needed to be.

As the champions leave, Orton hits the ring and it’s an RKO to McGillicutty!  He hears voices and sets to punt Harris but Punk pops up to say don’t do it.  Otunga, Ryan and Punk stand on the stage as Orton is waiting in the ring.  It should be noted that Harris took the Cobra and has been down over three minutes now.  He’s on his knees with his head on the mat but hasn’t been up yet.  Now THAT is selling.

Punk says if you punt Harris there will be consequences.  After a long pause, he pulls back but then punts Harris anyway.  Orton runs through the crowd to avoid the beatdown.  Harris is out cold and that’s probably the last we’ll see of him for awhile.  Punk and Orton stare at each other as we go to a break.

Back with a clip of what we just saw and the announcers talking a bit.  Ted DiBiase and Maryse come out to criticize Jerry for hanging on too long.  Ted wants Jerry’s spot tonight.  In the jaw dropping moment of the night, MICHAEL COLE defends Jerry, saying that he’s a legend and Ted needs to chill.  Jerry says he’s been here for 18 years and has never had a match at Wrestlemania because his Road to Wrestlemania has always been under construction.  His road begins tonight with the Raw Rumble.

Ted hits him and runs so Jerry goes after him.  Ted hides behind Maryse, who slaps the heck out of Ted, likely breaking up with him.  Jerry drills him as well and is ready to fight.  Cole yells at him for trying to hog the spotlight but reminds him that Jerry can’t hit him.  I kind of hope they’re leading up to Cole vs. Lawler at Mania.

We get a video of someone walking into what looks like a shack but it’s way too dark to see.  There’s rain everywhere and you can’t see anything.  The date 2-21-11 pops up on screen, which is the day after Elimination Chamber.

Back in the arena and the Bellas are at ringside for this match.

Tyson Kidd vs. Daniel Bryan

 

No word on if this is a title match or not.  The Bellas are asked about the bet and they ask if Cole has ever seen Cruel Intentions.  If you haven’t seen it the two main characters bet that the main guy can’t sleep with a certain woman.  The Bellas are the focal point here and it’s not like it matters.  LeBell Lock ends it at 1:48.  No rating of course.  Gail and Bryan make out post match.  The Bellas come in and we get a catfight.

Edge vs. Miz is next.

Edge vs. The Miz

 

No entrances but we get big match intros.  Edge controls early with basic stuff.  Riley pulls Miz to the floor and Miz gets some shots into the arm.  Miz gets two on Edge as it occurs to me that the video could have been Sting.  Kind of fits and could set up to Mania.  I doubt it but it’s possible.  Anyway Miz throws on an armbar as we talk about the main event.  This goes on for a long time until Edge finally gets a rope for the break.

And now we’re right back to the armbar.  I love in ring psychology but there comes a point where it makes matches boring.  They both get big boots and both men are down.  Edge gets a flapjack with the bad arm and stays down for a bit because of it.  See, that’s how you sell an injury: have it affect your match.  Sunset flip gets two for Edge and a boot gets two for Miz.

Edgecution gets no cover as Edge sets for the spear.  Riley sends him into the buckle and….here’s Cena.  He’s up in the guest box and starts a “Miz is awful” chant.  That’s enough for the spear to end Miz at 8:50.  Cole calls Edge and Cena buddies.  I love the total lack of continuity in WWE.  Cole helps Miz out and yells at Riley about Cena.

Rating: D+. This was rather boring and that’s mainly due to the armbars.  They make perfect sense but at the same time they’re boring.  Cena getting involved makes perfect sense though and it doesn’t make Miz look that bad since he had Edge beat.  This was ok but it dragged way too much to give it a solid grade.

Steve Austin will be hosting Tough Enough.  Yeah that might get them some ratings.

Here’s Vickie to say that Edge’s title is in trouble as Edge will defend the title in a way that it has never been defended before.  It’s not specified what though.

Natalya/Eve Torres vs. Laycool

 

We get a clip of Laycool making up for their blunder last night.  Natalya vs. McCool to start.  Layla comes in and hides from Nattie.  She picks Layla up but can’t hold onto her.  Laycool hug and it’s back to the beating.  Off to the new champion who flat out rocks those gold shorts.  She however does not rock in the ring as this is looking bad already.  Standing moonsault gets two.  Michelle kicks Eve in the corner and DIAMOND DUST (called the Facelift) here by Layla ends Eve at 2:45.  No rating for a glorified comedy match but that ending was great.

Usos vs. Great Khali/Mark Henry

 

Khali dances a bit.  Matthews is out to replace King who is getting ready.  Josh: “Khali and Henry combine to weigh nearly 1000 pounds.  That’s as much as a mini-Cooper or the chick from Precious.”  The GM says that the Usos have no chance so this is now a dance off.  I like the brutal honesty there.

You know what?  I really like the brutal honesty there.  “This match is going to suck and we’re not going to waste your time with it.  Here’s something that’ll likely get a nice reaction.”  Cole dances too and the Usos are nothing special.  Take a wild guess who wins here.  The Usos wind up taking the monster finishers.

The 2-21-11 thing plays again.  That looks A LOT like Sting’s coat.

It’s the world premiere of the trailer for The Chaperone, which is HHH’s new movie.  HHH is a dad just out of prison that is trying to get to know his daughter again.  He acts as a chaperone on a field trip but is followed by some people that know him from his life of crime.  It’s an action-comedy but they seem to have a real problem figuring out which it wants to be rather than a hybrid.

Raw Rumble

 

This is a regular Royal Rumble but with only seven guys.  Morrison is first and we see the routine he did to get back into the ring last night.  That’s just insane.  He’ll be joined by Sheamus to start.  It’s over the top for eliminations.  We take a break before we start though.  Back and we’re told it’s Laycool/Ziggler vs. Kelly/Edge and the title is on the line.  Whoa.

90 second intervals here.  Morrison works the arm and tries to put Morrison out.  That gets him nowhere but the Irish Curse does.  He hits it as Cena is in at #3.  Cena puts Sheamus down and tries the FU on Morrison.  Naturally Morrison flips out of it and hits an enziguri to Cena and takes over.  Punk is the fourth man in.  Clothesline and bulldog in the corner to Cena puts him down.  All Punk so far.  Everyone is back up now and we pair off with Morrison/Punk and Cena/Sheamus.  Belly to belly puts Sheamus down.

Number five is R-Truth.  He takes down Cena and tosses Morrison over.  Morrison holds on and pulls Truth with him.  They both skin the cat (who thought that was a good name for it?) but Truth messes his up and looks like he’s a fish out of water.  FU is blocked on Punk and the next to last guy is Lawler.

Lawler puts everyone down and almost gets Punk out.  Sheamus saves him for some reason.  Wouldn’t he want Punk out?  Sheamus almost puts Lawler out but can’t quite do it.  Orton is last and Punk hides under the ring.  Orton I guess realized it as he goes under the ring.  He hasn’t been in the ring yet.  There’s Punk and the beating is on.  Both are back in the ring now and we’ve had no eliminations to this point.

Clothesline puts Punk out but Truth sneaks up on Randy and he’s out too!  Down to five as we take a break.  Back with the same five still in.  Cena wakes up and tries a double FU on Truth and Morrison.  He dumps Truth but Morrison hangs on.  Morrison pulls Cena to the apron and they slug it out with some great teases.  Sheamus charges but misses.  All three are on the apron here and only Lawler is left in the ring.  He’s down though.

Sheamus is back in as is Cena.  Morrison is still on the apron and tries to suplex Sheamus out.  He gets him up a few times but can’t slide in between the legs.  Sheamus drills him and he falls backwards but hangs on BY HIS FEET and does a sit up to get back in.  This man is not human.  He can’t be.  Morrison tries to get rid of Sheamus but can’t get him over.

Slingshot shoulder half kills Morrison and Cena grabs the STFU on Sheamus.  Morrison goes for Starship Pain and TOTALLY misses it.  That was sad looking.  Lawler tries to throw him out but Morrison gets his hands out and again saves himself.  Flash Kick puts Cena down and Morrison goes for Sheamus again.  This time though Morrison is sent to the apron and the Brogue Kick puts him out.

Lawler gets a dropkick to Cena the the former rapper is in trouble.  Sheamus breaks it up and has Cena reeling.  For no apparent reason he didn’t shove them both out but whatever.  Lawler comes after Sheamus again but Sheamus ducks and Lawler puts out Cena!  They look at each other and Sheamus tries a Brogue Kick.  Cena pulls the rope down and Lawler ducks.  Sheamus goes over and Lawler is the #1 contender at 15:20!

Rating: B-. Morrison is by far and away the highlight here as you would expect him to be.  The match itself was a decent battle royal with some good spots.  Lawler winning was kind of predictable but if they’re going to put him in this spot he had to win here as he couldn’t be in the Chamber.  Either way, not bad at all and it worked pretty well I thought.  Match of the night by far which isn’t saying much.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t the worst Raw I’ve ever seen by far but it was really pretty boring.  Lawler was more or less the main focus here.  Not a lot was set up but we do know the two big Raw matches which is the main point I suppose.  The main event helped a bit but it definitely didn’t save the show.  Decent show but a letdown from the previous few weeks.  Until two weeks from now.

Results

Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov b. Michael McGillicutty/Husky Harris – Cobra to McGillicutty

Daniel Bryan b. Tyson Kidd – LeBell Lock

Great Khali/Mark Henry b. The Usos in a Dance Off

Jerry Lawler won the Raw Rumble

On Raw tonight there was a video of a man walking in the rain to a building.  He was wearing a jacket and you can’t see much at all.  A graphic saying 2-21-11 popped up, which is the night after Elimination Chamber.  The idea is that it was Sting but I’m not sold on that yet.

Thoughts?

In the main event I mean.  I’m sure he would have been going otherwise but you get the concept.

This is a great move for WWE as it gives them a new name in the main event.  That’s something they’ve been sorely lacking and this is a big step in the right direction for them indeed.

Thoughts?

Royal Rumble 2011
Date: January 30, 2011
Location: TD Bank Garden Arena, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Matt Striker, Jerry Lawler

Well we’ve finally, and I do mean FINALLY arrived.  This is the first 40 man Rumble and while I’m still not behind the idea it could be good I guess.  There are only 4 matches tonight: the Rumble, a Divas match and the two world titles.  It should be fun as WWE has been on a straight up roll recently.  Let’s get to it.

Smackdown World Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Edge

 

Well you can’t say they’re going easy to start.  And Edge’s pyro doesn’t go off.  Remember that the Spear is banned here and if Edge uses it then Ziggler loses the world title.  Vickie comes out to do the intro and tries to start a Spear chant which is kind of funny.  We get big match intros too which is always nice.  Lawler: “Ziggler is just like Santa Claus.  Everywhere he goes he takes that old bag with him.”

Dang Edge goes from winning the match to starting the show the next year.  Quite a drop…yet he has a title here.  I love logic or whatever you call it in wrestling.  Striker is doing a great job of tossing softballs up for King to get good lines off of.  Lawler has always been a guy that needs someone to set him up but once he gets a start he’s fine.

Edge controls a lot early on with some basic stuff.  We hit the floor and it’s all Edge.  Ziggler gets a kick to the side of Edge’s head as they come back in to get his first advantage.  Off to a chinlock now as the LET’S GO EDGE chant gets going.  Sunset flip is blocked for two.  More chinlock and this time a longer version of it.  Big elbow drop gets two.

Dolph gets a running charge to send Edge out to the floor and into the barricade.  Back in that gets two.  Hey look it’s a chinnlock!  Edge fights up and a double cross body puts both guys down.  Stinger Splash in the corner misses by Zigs.  Ziggler gets that Downward Spiral into a Stunner for two.  Edge counters the Fameasser into a sitout powerbomb for two.

Uncharacteristically for Edge he goes up top but Ziggler beats him to the punch.  Cross body off the top is rolled through for a VERY close two by Ziggler.  Dropkick gets two on Edge.  Zig Zag is blocked and Edge busts out the Edgecator (modified Sharpshooter) for two.  Edge misses a charge at the ropes and the Fameasser hits for two.

Big Boot puts Ziggler down and Edge sets for the Spear in the corner.  Vickie like an idiot, yells at him to not do it.  Ziggler wants the sleeper but gets caught in the Edgecution but Vickie grabs the referee.  She and Edge get into it and Kelly of all people comes out to beat on Vickie.  As Edge is watching the catfight a Zig Zag gets two and that more or less seals the ending here.

Dolph gets the sleeper and Edge is fading fast.  Oh of course he fights it off.  He manages to get a big jawbreaker out of it instead and down goes the referee.  Vickie is down as well so there’s the Spear.  Edge pulls an Eddie and lays down too.  Cole: SOMEONE HAD TO SEE THAT!  He’s totally right you know.  Edge uses an Unprettier of all things to end it.

Rating: A-. This was a solid back and forth match, but I really don’t like the Spear in there.  Striker calls it the Unprettier which is supposed to be the Killswitch I believe?  Anyway this was a very good match with Ziggler getting some very close near falls out there.  It’s your regular Rumble match that had a challenger who simply wasn’t going to win but Dolph looked great.  Very good opener indeed.

Mania is 63 days away!  Naturally we have the Chamber in there which is going to take away a lot of that time.

We recap Miz vs. Orton which goes back to Miz cashing in.  That’s still sweet and was perfectly done.  DEMON CHILD!!!  Also Miz beat the tar out of Orton on Raw.

Miz and Riley say Miz will win and insult Boston.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. The Miz

 

Cole talks throughout the WHOLE entrance and then in the ring he says that this is a big match for Miz.  Thanks for clearing up that defending the world title on PPV against one of the biggest stars of all time is a big match.  Miz chant to start as it’s all Orton early on.  Back in the ring as Orton stomps away and Lawler and Cole get into it as always.  I’m still thinking that results in a Mania match which it should.  Lawler deserves a match at Mania.

Orton beats him down in the corner and Cole says this is unfair to him.  Nice flashback to Heenan in 92.  Riley interferes and here comes the Champion.  Orton fights back but misses a charge in the corner to give Miz the advantage back.  The Miz is a Triple crown winner.  Let that sink in for a bit.  Ok he kind of is at least.  Corner clothesline gets two.  More beatdowns and a knee to the ribs get two.

Orton is able to get back in there with a kick and up the ropes we go.  Superplex gets two as Cole talks about Riley.  Elevated DDT is countered by a backdrop and we hit the floor again.  Back in Miz gets two.  Miz goes up and a double axe gets two.  He throws on a chinlock as it’s all champion here.  Back to the floor one more time and Orton eats the post.

He beats the count at 9 and the beating is on again but this time with Orton in control with the Thesz Press.  Powerslam sets up the stomping.  Orton sets for the powerbomb but Riley distracts him.  Miz gets that backbreaker/neckbreaker combo he’s been using lately for two.  Angle Slam hits so Miz wants to get the title and leave.  Instead Orton kills him with a clothesline.

Since we’re looking at a split screen replay we miss what Miz hits to get two out of nowhere on Orton.  Miz misses a kick and Orton grabs a rollup for two.  Elevated (called Suspension by Striker which works also) gets two.  He sets for the RKO and HERE THEY COME!  It’s the New Nexus minus Punk who stare down Orton.  As the referee is distracted Riley gets in and in an AWESOME spot, Orton picks up Riley and LAUNCHES him over the referee and onto Nexus.  Riley was AIRBORNE!  There’s the RKO but Punk runs in with a GTS and Miz retains!  Cole jumps up and down like a little girl in celebration.

Rating: B. Good match but definitely not as good as the previous one.  The thing is that with a show like the Rumble, everything besides the one big match is pure bonus.  The two title matches have been rather good so this show is already looking up.  This was very good stuff for the most part here which is pretty much expected.  If nothing else it gives us some new direction.  Not bad at all here and a pretty good match.

Cody Rhodes gives a prepared statement while we can’t see his face which is always funny.

Divas Title: Natalya vs. Laycool

 

Just before the match starts we get an E-Mail, making it a fatal fourway and he adds….Eve?  Uh…ok.  Oh and the GM makes fun of Cole and all the people that complain about him.  No tagging here of course.  There isn’t much to say here as it’s an insane spot fest for the most part.  Natalya gets the double Sharpshooter on Eve and Layla which is a great visual.  Layla gets the neckbreaker on Natalya.  There isn’t much to say here like AT ALL.  Michelle kicks Layla, Eve wins the title with a moonsault.  Natalya might have pinned Michelle at the same time.

Rating: D. This was pretty bad overall.  It was a mess of a Divas match which is bad as usually they have some good stuff going for them and certainly have been recently.  This was bad and it was the epitome of a bridge to the Rumble.  Speaking of which, let’s go to that.

Bellas/Gail/Bryan segment.  It’s stupid and the same thing from Monday but with the Bellas pretending to be nice with flowers.

Rumble By the Numbers.

Royal Rumble

 

Punk is #1 to the shock of no one, and to no one else’s shock, Corre has a member in at #2 but they all surround the ring.  Punk gets beaten down by everyone until Nexus comes down for the save.  Cole gets an E-Mail which says STOP IT!  Everyone but Punk has to leave and only Punk is in at the moment.  LOUD Punk chant and #2 is Bryan.  The IWC just orgasmed loudly.

Bryan speeds things up and takes Punk down with some nice shots.  It’s dueling chant time as Bryan hits the top rope dropkick.  In at 3 is Gabriel.  Gabriel beats Punk up with ease but misses the 450 and Bryan tosses Justin easily.  The timing is absurd already as you expected it to.  Number 4 is Zach Ryder.  He gets both guys down in the corner and manages to get a Rough Ryder on Punk.  Bryan throws him out with ease as I hope we’re not going the 95 route.

Regal is in at #5 and he cleans house which isn’t very dirty at this point.  Lots of suplexes all around.  Regal and Bryan slug it out with European uppercuts which surprisingly Bryan wins despite not being, you know, European.  Bryan kicks both guys with ease and we get #6 in the form of Ted DiBiase.  Backbreaker for Bryan and dropkicks to him and Regal.  Down goes Punk to the following clothesline.

Bryan vs. Regal and DiBiase vs. Punk for awhile which gets us nowhere.  Seventh is Morrison to a BIG pop.  Springboard kick puts Regal down and Morrison cleans house, including with his eternal rival in Punk.  C4 to Bryan.  I had Morrison as a dark horse but methinks that’s out the window.  He gets thrown by DiBiase but lands on the apron.  Morrison gets launched to the railing and GRABS THE WALL like freaking Spiderman, climbs up to the apron, tightrope walks it to the steps and gets back in.  Ladies and gentlemen, that is not going to be topped tonight.

Tatsu is #8 and he does nothing at all.  Ninth is Husky Harris.  Regal went out somewhere in there that I missed when I was dying from Morrison’s wall grab.  Harris immediately gets in front of Punk for defense so Morrison and Bryan try to kill him.  He’s 23 and the youngest person in this Rumble.  That’s rather impressive.  We get to ¼ of the way through this with Chavo.

Seven people in there now as Gabriel, Ryder and Regal have been eliminated so far.  Three Amigos to DiBiase but Punk cuts him off.  And never mind as he takes three of his own.  Punk’s get broken up so it’s suplex time to Morrison.  Here are some for Bryan as well.  He must have done ten suplexes in like 30 seconds.  This is kind of cool actually.  FINALLY he gets the third in a row.

Number 11 is Mark Henry to clear out some dead weight.  There go Chavo and Tatsu.  Punk beats Henry down a bit as it’s time for JTG to be #12.  This portion of the Rumble brought to you by not Michael Hayes.  JTG, Henry, Punk, Harris, DiBiase, Morrison and Bryan in there at the moment.  Hey I’ve actually got this up to date!  Number 13 is Michael McGillicutty to give Punk some backup.

Punk tells him to HURT EVERYBODY.  There goes JTG as we’re getting a bit cluttered here.  Granted a lot of that is Henry and the midcard is well represented.  Harris and McGillicutty put out DiBiase to make room for Masters at 14.  Masterlock to Punk but he can’t get him out as McGillicutty makes the save.  Bryan hammers on Masters as #15 is Otunga.  That makes four members counting Punk in there at the moment.

Bryan is out almost immediately and Masters joins him soon.  Nexus cleans house and gets Morrison out too.  Over to Henry now and yep he’s gone too.  Just Nexus left in the ring now.  Tyler Reks is the sacrificial lamb at #16.  How long can he be unknown for?  There he goes of course.  So are we just waiting on Cena now?  I think that’s pretty clear.  In at 17 is Kozlov who has history here.

Why not just wait on the floor and wait for like five people to get together to at least have even odds?  Vladimir is out with ease.  Punk gets all meditational on us and it’s Truth in as the Rumble is now legal.  Striker agrees with the whole wait it out.  This is a great way to run through some of the weaker guys though.  Punk gets the corner clothesline and bulldog.  In between, he looks at the camera and raises the roof shouting WHAT’S UP in a sarcastic voice.  Funny stuff.

Truth is gone.  And here’s trouble in the form of the Great Khali.  He chops them all down and gets rid of Harris to break up this blockade.  GET BETH PHOENIX STAT!  Naturally in next is Mason Ryan (20).  India vs. Wales goes to the darker skinned ones until Ryan gets him out.  BOOKER T IS NUMBER 21!!!!!  SCREW YOU MAIN EVENT MAFIA!!!!!  Epic pop for him too and Booker looks awesome.

Kicks all around and a Book End to McGillicutty.  SPINAROONI!  SPINAROONI!  OH MY GOODNESS A SPINAROONI!  Punk charges but Ryan makes the save.  Booker is out but that was insanely awesome.  My screen froze on Booker’s eyes bugging out.  You knew it was coming.  John Cena is in next and the fight is on.  He takes everyone down with basic moves and there goes Ryan to a low bridge.  Otunga and McGillicutty to a double clothesline and it’s down to Cena and Punk!

Cena charges into a corner elbow but Punk can’t get GTS.  Double clothesline puts both men down ala Hogan and Warrior in 1990.  Number 23 is…..it’s Hornswoggle.  The look on Punk’s face is hilarious.  More or less it says “no…..freaking….way.”  Punk gets up and drills Horny but goes after Cena instead.  FU TO PUNK AND HE’S OUT!  Cena is left with Horny as #24 is Tyson Kidd.  Headscissors to Kidd by Horny sets up an FU and there he goes.  Ok no he doesn’t yet as Horny wants to do it.  Horny gives him an FU and there goes Kidd.

Twenty fifth is Slater who takes a low blow from Horny and a super Stunner which actually looked pretty cool.  Double You Can’t See Me.  Tadpole Splash and there goes Slater.  It’s Kofi Kingston at 26 and this could be awesome.  Cool moment as they stare down and look at the Mania sign.  I totally buy Kofi as a threat to Cena here which is a very good sign.  Kofi beats on him a bit but it’s really a standoff.  Swagger is 27^th and takes down the weakened guys.

Vader Bomb to Cena and one for Kofi as well.  And now….dude go for the midget already.  Swagger goes after Horny but Kofi kills Jack with a cross body.  Double Boom Drop as Horny is a bridge for Kofi to jump off of.  28 is SHEAMUS.  Oh yes.  This guy is a, and I will never ever say this again, a dark horse to win this.  Sheamus cleans house and goes after Horny.  Cena saves him AGAIN and it’s another Tadpole Splash coming.  Never mind actually as Sheamus KICKS HIM IN THE HEAD to eliminate him.

Rey is #29.  We have Kofi, Cena, Swagger, Sheamus and Rey in there at the moment.  Trouble in Paradise to Sheamus but Swagger takes him down.  Rey was on the corner and Swagger tries the running belly to belly.  Rey ducks and knocks him to the apron and a 619 takes him out.  Barrett is 30 as this is FLYING by.  Wasteland to Kofi is blocked by a kick to the knee by Rey.

Cena vs. Barrett goes to Wade in the form of a Boss Man Slam.  That could so be a finisher for someone.  Maybe Ryan?  The first #31 in history is Dolph Ziggler???  Oh crap man, that could be a shock.  He hammers away on Sheamus as Barrett is in trouble.  Dolph, Sheamus, Barrett, Kofi, Cena and Rey at the moment.  Cena is in trouble and the crowd reacts BIG.

32 is DIESEL????  OH WOW!  The crowd pops HUGE.  I can’t get used to hearing him called Diesel.  Drew is 33^rd.  Nash looks kind of awesome in there.  Drew and Sheamus hammer down Diesel who is all of a sudden getting a HUGE chant!  Dude sign this guy up!  619 to Diesel which I can’t believe I just typed.

34^th is….the Miz???  Oh wait it’s Riley.  He slides in and Cena just drills him.  Striker got cut off mid sentence in a laugh.  Barrett puts  Diesel out.  ANOTHER big Diesel chant as he leaves.  Miz sits in on commentary for a bit.  Big Show is number 35 and it’s time to clear out some guys.  Show and Diesel look at each other.  Oh dang there’s some history there.  The Celts jump Show as he comes in which doesn’t go well for the UK guys.

Miz sounds like he has a cold.  There goes Ziggler at the hands of Show.  I want to know who #40 is.  36 is Big Zeke.  Uh oh.  Show puts Drew out.  Zeke puts Show down and OUT on his own!  There are four entrants left.  Who isn’t out here yet?  Rey, Zeke, Cena, Kofi, Barrett and Sheamus at the moment.  Santino is 37^th and gets a solid pop.  He goes right at Sheamus of all people.  And now he goes for Zeke who growls at him.

Santino gets knocked to the floor under the bottom rope.  Alberto is 38 and I completely forgot about him.  Ricardo does the intro!  No one else has gotten an intro but no one else is Alberto Del Rio.  Del Rio takes his sweet time and isn’t in before Orton is 39^th.  ONE MORE TO GO!  RKO to everyone and there goes Kofi.  Sheamus is out too as is Drew.  And then, it’s Cena vs. Orton.  The crowd just went SILENT and in the awesome way I mean.

They stare it down with the Mania sign between them and there’s the clock.  And it’s Kane.  Uh, kind of anti-climactic but ok.  So it’s Kane, Cena, Orton, Santino, Rey, Del Rio and I think that’s it.  I likely left someone out though.  Oh and Zeke and Barrett.  Zeke beats up Kane with relative ease after Kane cleans some house.  There goes Zeke.  Ok now we’re down to Barrett, Kane, Cena, Orton, Rey and Del Rio.  Kane is put out by Rey!  Barrett puts out Rey!  I LOVE YOU BARRETT!!!

Final four are Barrett, Orton, Cena and Del Rio.  Cena and Del Rio are in trouble but both hang on.  Randy and John (sounds weird calling it that) stare it down again to another hush.  There they go with the punches.  Both finishers miss as FU is broken up by Barrett for no apparent reason.  Maybe he’s the new Corre member?  Del Rio vs. Cena and Barrett vs. Orton at this point.

FU to Del Rio but here comes Riley again for no adequately explained reason.  MIZ ELIMINATES CENA!!!  LET THE INTERNET ERUPT!!!  Blast it not Orton again.  Is Santino still in?  Orton busts out a bunch of his basic stuff and there goes Barrett!  DEL RIO PUTS OUT ORTON TO WIN THE ROYAL RUMBLE!!!  Wait Santino is back!  COBRA!!!  THEY WOULDN’T!!!!!  Oh thank goodness Del Rio threw him out to officially end it.

Rating: A. I was wrong.  I thought this would be overblown but it felt more epic this way.  HUGE props to WWE for putting someone new in there.  That is absolutely huge for WWE as they are actually giving someone the huge push and the momentum to do it with.  He’s a glorified midcarder and he won.  This is exactly what they needed to do with this and it worked wonderfully.  Mania has matches set up for it now and we got some great surprises.  Epic Rumble although maybe just a step beneath next year.  GREAT ending though.

Overall Rating: A. This was a great show indeed.  The Divas match was the only bad thing all night and on a card with four matches you can’t argue that in the slightest.  They’re setting Mania up very early this year and that’s nothing but good.  This was a great show as WWE now has two big wins in a row.  I’m freaking pumped up for Mania now as this was great stuff indeed.  Loved it and bring on Elimination Chamber baby!

Royal Rumble 2010
Date: January 31, 2010
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Matt Striker, Jerry Lawler

First off, love that announcing trio. Having 6 guys was WAY too much for PPVs. I’m excited for this Rumble. Yes the title matches are easy to see, but that doesn’t mean they’ll be bad. Sometimes you need predictable matches and this is one of them. The matches look good on paper and the build was all there. The Rumble winner is pretty up in the air actually. That being said the show is starting so it’s time to shut up. Actually it isn’t but you get the point.  Let’s get to it.

The video is what you would expect: a look back. Basic but well done as usual.

ECW Title: Ezekiel Jackson vs. Christian

They’ve built this up great as it finally feels like the night Christian is going down. I’m not so sure though. Jackson is a freaking scary man indeed. My stream is very choppy so this is kind of like a fast moving slide show mixed with good audio. There goes Regal after a few minutes. Striker talks too fast at times. Cole sounds sick or something. We hit the formula based stuff which is likely the best way to do this.

Since Jackson is still limited in the ring, it’s probably best to have him be carried by the far more experienced and better Christian. We’re in our second chinlock of the match already. Seriously Striker: CALM DOWN! Christian hits the jumping reverse elbow making him awesome. And then he does those stupid claps to take that away. “Hmm, I have him down and I’ve walked around in a circle so he doesn’t know where he is.

I’ll clap since that doesn’t give him a tip at all.” Jackson hits a big clothesline and we get LARIOTO from Striker. Jackson is really limited. Like Monty Brown levels of limited. I love that slingshot kick that Christian does in the corner. Why should I care about who last won the title where? No one says a word and Striker says nothing? That’s very amusing. Sleeper time. And there’s the Killswitch out of freaking nowhere for the pin. What the heck was that???

Rating: C+. This was your run of the mill big man vs. little man and the more I think about it the more I like the ending. Christian couldn’t hang with Zeke going head to head so he stopped trying to and got a quick win. I actually like that one.

Cryme Tyme both want to be in the Rumble but only one spot is available. Apparently they’ve managed to trade Khali’s spot for a kiss from Tiffany. Apparently not. Gender stereotype humor fails and Khali imitates Urkel. Shad is almost able to look eye to eye with Khali. This is stupid on so many levels. Miz comes in and Teddy, who has no authority on this show, makes the US Title match.

Rhodes sucks up to Orton and throws Ted under the bus. I’d bet on the same thing happening later with Ted,

US Title: MVP vs. The Miz

Talk about two guys that have gone in completely opposite directions. Miz used to look like a joke and is now awesome and MVP used to look awesome and now is a borderline joke. Something tells me he’s winning tonight though. MVP was US Champion what, back in 2007 and he’s still in the same place how long later? There’s a big MIZ IS AWESOME chant. Or was it AWFUL? Either one is a good sign.

MVP is all over him to start which points to Miz hanging onto the belt. Ok, we get it: MVP hung out with some chick from The View. It means nothing at all. Ah there we go. Miz is back now. He’s grown more than anyone else I’ve ever seen in the past two years. We get it also: MVP used to be in prison. Let it die already. MVP is just a failure as a face. His character is designed to be a heel but we can’t have street wise heels that look like stereotypes of course.

Ok, so MVP hits a face crusher and literally 12 seconds later the Ballin Elbow hits. Are we supposed to believe that Miz isn’t going to get up in that amount of time? Seriously? There’s a Pounce from MVP and called so much by Striker. Oh, period. Wouldn’t want to forget that.

I actually don’t know who’s going to win here which is rare in matches like these but it’s a nice plus. And Miz hits a rollup as MVP is getting back in for the pin. And that’s what he needs: wins, even by fluke, that are clean. MVP attacks him after the match and is heavily booed. Please let that be a heel turn. Cole implies it’s not.  Blast it.

Rating: B-. Not bad at all. The ending was great here as it literally came out of nowhere. Miz needs more wins like these but it gives him more and more credibility every time which is what his character needs at the moment. I haven’t seen them get a character’s development much better than his in a LONG time and I’m loving it.

Jericho and Show continue their bromance. R-Truth laughs at Jericho and says it’s every man for himself. It’s better than it sounds but it’s still dumb.

Orton is walking. Yes indeed he is. And there’s Ted to say he’s here for him. No Cody in sight though and I was right with my prediction.

Ad for Raw. I love that they feel the need to advertise a show that you likely would have had to see in order to buy this show.

Soldiers are here. Oh they’re from the National Guard.

Raw World Title: Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

And the champion comes out first for no apparent reason. Sheamus is another character that has gotten a solid push from nowhere and I’m liking it. It’s working bette than Bradshaw’s when they did the same thing and I think that’s because there’s nothing of his past to compare it to. Bradshaw had nothing to go off of in the main event either but we had known him for years and he sucked. Orton gets a bit of a pop.

Please: give him a face title run. It could work. A heel vs. heel title match isn’t something I would have guessed on but it should be awesome. I’m pulling for the Irish dude just to prevent anything resembling Orton vs. HHH or Cena again. We get the big match intros too. Orton gets a straight up face pop. Sheamus gets heat but it’s mild. Still though, likely his best ever. It’s weird seeing Orton not being taller.

Sheamus is getting a bit of heat here. I like it. MASSIVE Randy chant. The fans Vince. LISTEN TO THEM. Yep, he’s wrestling life a face too. Sheamus is dominating here as he should. I’m glad they never went anywhere with the kick he gave Lawler. Orton goes for the knee which makes a lot of sense here. There has been talk of Sheamus holding the belt until Mania. I like it. We’ve begged for a new main event guy and we’ve gotten one.

Giving him a long reign is making him far more credible as a champion and main event player. It’s a brilliant move and I think it’s working. Orton STAYS ON THE KNEE! Oh blessed psychology how I love you! Sheamus works on the arm of all things. It’s different if nothing else. There’s the boo/yay thing. Fans are more or less completely behind Orton which is something Vince needs to listen to.

Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge but his knee gives out. See what psychology can do for you? Orton hits that elevated DDT that is varying degrees of awesome. They’re trying so hard to have him be heel in this and it’s failing epically. The Punt, which again is more of a freaking place kick but what do I know. Vince started the XFL so obviously he’s smarter than I am. It misses of course because that never hits on PPV for some reason.

Oh wait forgot HIAC. There’s likely a reason for that one. Rhodes runs in and attacks Sheamus but the RKO hits, meaning Sheamus keeps the belt. YES! Came out of nowhere but whatever. The fans are calling for the RKO on Rhodes but they settle for a choke instead. Ted comes down and gets that whipping. Grr and there goes the stream again! Orton more or less fires them, HOPEFULLY turning face. And Sheamus kicks Orton in the head and everyone leaves him there. Not bad at all.

Rating: B. I liked this a lot more than I should have. The psychology was all working here and it played into the match later on which is nice. The DQ ending kind of sucked as I would have preferred Sheamus to get a pin but this worked just fine I think. Legacy is FINALLY over though which is the far more important thing.

We recap Mickie vs. McCool which is by far the best build to a match I’ve seen in a women’s match in years . It’s even better than the Mark Henry vs. Viscera match. Short version: McCool and Layla were saying that Mickie was fat and it led to this. It’s a lot better than it sounds, trust me.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Michelle McCool

I’m actually pumped for this thing if you can believe that. Odds are it’s going to suck but whatever. The video had Beth in it which implies she’ll be here tonight. Sweet goodness change Michelle’s music. I freak can’t stand it. McCool cuts a bad promo before the match. Mickie isn’t here apparently?

And here’s Layla in the fat suit. This was stupid Friday but cute I guess and now…never mind as Mickie is here. And it’s a 20 second match as Mickie freaking murders her. Ok then. And they bring out food and poor it on the heels. Good to know.

Rating: N/A. Not sure if I like this or not. Mickie dominating is good as it ends this quickly, but it feels flat otherwise. I think I like it though. Yeah let’s go with that.

Ad for Elimination Chamber. Yeah nothing says SPECIAL gimmick match more than two in one night baby!

We recap Rey vs. Taker, which more or less is Rey won a contender’s match and then Batista is a whiny man. Something tells me that’s your ending because he has muscles and therefore he’s a good wrestler, at least in Vince’s eyes.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Rey Mysterio

They call this the biggest match in Rey’s career. Yep, far bigger than winning the title at Mania I’m sure. As bad as a champion that he is, that belt looks awesome on Taker’s waist. More big match intros which while they’re usually good, they kind of don’t work for Taker for some reason. This is likely to rock or suck with no real in between. This is like a wet dream for Vince: both guys are big faces so why wouldn’t this work?

Taker at 299 pounds sounds odd for some reason. Rey gets freaking launched to the floor but lands on his feet. Nice indeed. Taker has done maybe two moves and he’s put Rey on the floor twice. This is all Taker so far. Thankfully the 619 misses. Taker goes for the Tombstone but Rey uses the ancient Chinese principle of kicking his feet to get out of it. Taker of course messes up his knee because that’s all he can do in most matches anymore.

His hip is in a lot of legit pain at this point so it’s likely not a ton of acting. We get the Asai Moonsault for the Japanese fans out there. Taker’s chest looks the same as Michelle’s used to look like. I wonder if they got them done in the same place? They seem like they’re killing time, which screams BATISTA to me.

Surprisingly enough though it doesn’t come as Taker just more or less casually hits the Last Ride after countering a flippy. Where’s Norcal when I need him? Oh yeah at a bar with muscle guys.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t thrilled here at all. The only good thing was that there was a clean ending which was my main concern here. It’s two more old guys in the main event but at least they’re popular so that’s all I can ask for. Not awful, but underwhelming.

Shawn and Kane talk. HHH and Shawn talk. Greatness personified.

I freaking LOVE that video package about the numbers.

Royal Rumble

Dolph Ziggler is first and Evan Bourne is second. Ok then. And the Zig Zag hits a few minutes in. He pulls a Davey Boy Smith though and doesn’t make sure he goes over. The Shooting Star hits and Punk is third. With the roll he’s been on lately he needs a LONG run here. He starts off hot by throwing out both guys and has time to cut a promo. The heat is there, the look is there and the ability is there.

He has to job to the old guys though right? Number four is one of Cryme Tyme. Oh it’s JTG. Please….make it quick. Hey I got my wish! It lasted just a few seconds as we get our second promo of the night. I love Punk in case I didn’t make that clear. Fifth is Khali. Don’t you freaking put Punk out to this imbecile! You know they will though. Please, sacrifice Serena or something. I beg of you Vince, use your freaking brain.

Nope, Punk gets his the beating. Oh I get it: Khali is a “fun” character so that makes the idiocy ok. He gets the vice but it doesn’t last long enough and…Beth Phoenix is 6th? Well ok then. It’s different if nothing else. Beth gets picked up and placed on the apron where she kisses Khali before ELIMINATING HIM!! Punk hits her with the GTS after a brief skirmish. Didn’t see this coming. Seventh is Zach Ryder. This is odd indeed.

Beth is odd as we get some awesome music from Ryder. Punk tries to recruit Ryder and then hits him to MASSIVE face pops. He’s alone again as this is awesome. It’s another promo. Kane or Show will put him out soon enough. He says he’s better than whoever is next and you can smell the elimination coming from here. And it’s HHH. Bye Punk. Have fun in the belly of HHH’s ego. His intro takes the better part of ever so at least he’s consistent.

Hey Punk actually lasts until McIntyre is 9th. And HHH puts out Punk to get his ego up again. Yep, can’t have these young talented and over guys taking the place of guys like HHH. HHH is called the future of the company. That’s a scary thought. DiBiase is 10th. We’re 1/3 of the way through this. Oh great. Morrison is 11th. Nothing of note is happening at all. McIntyre takes Starship Pain and here’s HHH to take his head off anyway.

Kane is 12th, To recap it’s HHH, Kane, DiBiase, Morrison and McIntyre in there at the moment. The IC Title boys take a double chokeslam and it’s all Kane meaning he’ll be out soon or last a long time. And HHH saves DiBiase. Ok then. I guess the whole end your career thing is forgives. Cody Rhodes comes up on the monitor and Striker says it must be Rhodes. What would we do without you Matty? Legacy dominates…kind of. Morrison is incredibly acrobatic.

Rhodes underrated in the ring. Striker says he’s the seed of the Dream. BAD IMAGE MAN! Kane of course is moving and Cole can’t tell McIntyre and HHH apart. MVP is 14th. Miz jumps him in the aisle and blasts him with the belt. Know what would be nice now? A shot of the ring. Oh there it is. Morrison hits a SICK springboard spinkick to the head of McIntyre. MVP is taken out as I’m pretty sure HHH is going to win here.

My guess is Shawn vs. HHH somewhere down the line because of Shawn’s incessant ego. Carlito is 15th and apparently he’s interesting. Yeah that’s nonsense if I’ve ever heard it. He hits a nice springboard reverse elbow to Legacy. That was nice. MVP will likely run in and attack Miz later. Nothing predictable at all there. HHH takes the Backstabber as do a lot of people. Holy crap he’s dominating. Sixteenth is Miz. Amazingly MVP doesn’t jump him. That’ll be next I guess.

The Skull Crushing Finale hits Carlito. The fans pop like a cherry pie for Miz vs. Morrison and here’s MVP to put himself and Miz out. Legacy has HHH in trouble and of course he doesn’t go out. Carlito hangs onto the rope and stays in. Number 17 is Matt Hardy to a huge pop. This crowd is awesome. To continue the trend he dominates and hits a bunch of people before Kane puts him out and Kane is out by HHH.

You really can see it coming. I hope I need glasses. Spinebusters all around. A hot crowd pops for him so that validates this I suppose. HBK is 18th and I think I feel a showdown of 1990 proportions coming. Rhodes and Carlito and DiBiase are gone. Ok we have Shawn, McIntyre, Morrison and HHH in there at the moment. Ok take out Morrison and the showdown is pretty clear.

Shawn has the second most eliminations in Rumble history apparently. Yep it’s showdown time and there’s the clock. It’ll be a jobber and…never mind it’s Cena. Vince the Survivor Series bombed with this main event so why wouldn’t this do it too? And of course he beats up DX. A double You Can’t See Me is booed to an extent. HHH stops an FU and takes a Pedigree AND HHH IS SUPERKICKED OUT OF THE MATCH! I am STUNNED as all goodness. TAKE THAT MELTZER!!!

Shelton is in now and I’m switching my bet to Cena. Shawn has put Shelton out like three years in a row or something. This is his eighth consecutive Rumble. Wow I wouldn’t have guessed that one. Cena ends Shawn’s streak and puts out Shelton. Holy Mania rematch Batman. Yoshi Tatsu is 21st. I like this guy for some reason. Of course Striker has a dumb name for him: the Poison Fist of the Pacific Rim. Cena dumps him in a few seconds and we’re back to Shawn and Cena.

Nothing overdone about that AT ALL is there? Ok Atlanta is allowed to do the WOOs. Big Show is 22nd. Show almost goes out but saves himself. Cena goes for an FU but it misses. Shawn has to skin the cat (what a name I tell you) because Chin Music misses. Mark Henry is 23rd. Well they’re having some big names in there at least. I still can’t get over HHH being out already. It’s a curveball if nothing else. Henry goes for a slam can can’t get it.

Why do I have a feeling he’s not the world’s strongest man? He gets the slam a bit later but then almost gets an FU. Masters is number 24. Have to have some jobbers I guess. He press slams Shawn and of course doesn’t throw him out. Instead he puts the Masterlock on Show and he gets tossed for it. Henry and Show go at it again as we have a clock. It’s R-Truth….AND HE PUTS OUT SHOW AND HENRY.

I guess there is a youth movement. It’s Truth, Cena and Michaels here. He shows his TNA connection by hitting Cena with the Stroke. The fans are chanting boring. This hasn’t been bad at all. Swagger is 26th as Norcal pops. This is his first Rumble. I wouldn’t have guessed that. Vader Bombs all around. NO! Stream went out! Never mind it’s back!

Kofi is 27th. There goes Truth. Jericho is 28th. Kofi put out Truth in case you were wondering. He follows that up by kicking the heck out of Shawn and then gets thrown by Cena. All three are down and here’s 29. HOLY CRAP IT’S EDGE! Ok it’s not really shocking but still cool moment. Oh yeah he’s a face. Just like he should be. Spears all around and we might not have a surefire winner now.

There goes Jericho and Edge is domination. Sweet the Edgecution is back! Fans are WAY into this. Shame Batista will be 30th. It would have made sense to just have it be Edge in at 30. Ok final four are Cena, Shawn, Batissta and Edge. Naturally Batista is dominating. Anyone of these guys could win. Edge spears him down and Cena FUs Edge so everyone is down. Shawn nips up to another great pop. That’s one of those moves that just plain works.

Shawn is dominating here and Striker screws up again by saying that Edge has had no vigor. Shawn is dominating here and this is exciting me. Cena gets kicked and si does Big Dave. Edge clotheslines Shawn to the apron and then gets superkicked back in. DAVE PUTS SHAWN OUT! The crowd just goes dead silent. That came from nowhere. This is wide open at this point. WOW I haven’t heard a crowd die like that ever.

That…might not have been what was supposed to happen. He goes nuts an goes back in, beating up referees. Could this be a Shawn HEEL TURN??? I certainly freaking hope so. More referees come down as Shawn looks freaking crushed. Striker says this is heartbreaking (no pun intended I’m sure) as he says Shawn has never achieved this. If he means beating Taker he’s an idiot. He’s also never achieved a good buyrate but we’ll ignore that.

Ok so it’s Edge, Batista and Cena. Cena reverses the Batista Bomb and Batista reverses the FU and there goes Batista! This would suggest Edge winning but I’m not so sure. He sets for the spear with those great visuals of his and it misses of course. Cena goes for a clothesline and EDGE WINS IT! YEAH!

Take that people screaming this was going to be predicable! Love that ending, even though it’s the same thing they did with Cena but not as exciting/sweet. This is what we needed too: a FRESH face that is going to get some POPS. Great move all around and a great Rumble match.

Rating: A. Very solid Rumble here. Edge winning was a very pleasant shock and I liked it a lot. They had the star power in there tonight and no Santino or Duggan or jokes like that who are just going to waste time and spots. The formula works great when it clicks and this was no exception. I was bored until HHH got dumped but it wasn’t awful before that. Once he’s gone though, it’s straight through the roof. Very good Rumble and likely in the top five ever of them.

Overall Rating: A-. I was going back and forth between B- and C+. The whole show was indeed nothing great, but there was nothing that bad really. The right people won, for the most part they won clean, Orton is a face…I think, Shawn is snapping, Legacy is OVER, and Edge is back as a top level face.

This was a very good show and if you want to say it was predictable, let me know so I can laugh at you. Fun show and worth checking out, just don’t expect a classic. Edited: what the heck am I thinking? This show was great. A-.

And so ends the history of the Royal Rumble.  I had fun doing this and I think I’ll be doing one off reviews now as it’s much easier and I can look around and have more fun and diversity with it. Anyway, thanks for reading. I appreciate it. I’ll be doing another of these for Wrestlemania so stay tuned.  Or logged or whatever the right term is.

Who do you all think will win the Rumble this year?

Royal Rumble 2009
Date: January 25, 2009
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 16,685
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Matt Striker, Todd Grisham

There are really no differences at all between this and what you see today other than a few face and heel changes. Everyone is here for the most part other than Christian I think. Yeah there’s just not much that’s changed since then other than DX reuniting. We have five matches tonight, one of which is the new Smackdown Champion Jeff Hardy in his first title defense against Edge, although someone has been trying to get him lately.

Also we have Cena defending against JBL in the token title match of the year. Other than that it’s just the Rumble which more or less was the most predictable match in history as all of one person was mentioned at all in the buildup to it. That being said, let’s get to it.

The opening video is the standard thing of all the Rumble winners and all of the logos but it’s cut off by Orton’s music and clips of him being a bastard to the insanely hot Stephanie. Vince gets kicked in the head to stun the crowd. Yeah, they’re not making it obvious at all who was going to win here.

The slow motion replay of the kick shows that it’s INSANE. There’s no pyro for the opening as it’s all serious and stuff. In other words, the fans get cheated to a special part of the show for Vince. Oh never mind there’s the pyro. Still kind of stupid though.

ECW Title: Matt Hardy vs. Jack Swagger

Jack was the undefeated rookie here, having won the title two and a half weeks ago. This is the mostly pointless rematch. Matt gets a great pop and I wonder why he’s never been pushed harder than he has been yet. It’s a shame that Swagger is being depushed, but to be fair tonight for the Little People Court Raw he had a good match with Cena so maybe the push is back. He has no pyro yet so that sucks. We even get the big match intros here.

Since it’s 2009, Swagger is a cowardly heel at the beginning. Hardy brawls for the most part as Striker points out that he can’t out wrestle him so why try? That’s a great point at least. We get a replay of a great right hand from Matt. That was sweet. Hardy is doing really well so you know how it’s going to end in case it wasn’t clear yet. Swagger works on the arm which is the one he uses for the Twist of Fate. I know because Striker told me.

See why he’s the best in the world today? Swagger is working the shoulder really hard here and uses some unique stuff, including a boot to the shoulder. That’s something I’ve seen a few times but rarely enough that it’s effective. I’m not sure if I like or dislike the big 2 signs in the front row for counts. They always disappear after the first match so I’m guessing someone takes it from them or they get tired of it.

Striker goes way too insane by saying who the last North Carolinian to win a world title in Detroit (Steamboat in 87). That’s saying a lot. This is a good match with a lot of close calls. They’re getting some time too so that helps a lot. Hardy goes into the post as it was already hurt. Swagger hits the powerbomb for the pin to retain and let us hear his awesome music. Hardy sits on the steps with his head in his hands. Remember that for later.

Rating: B. I really liked this. It was a decent length of about ten minutes and had a ton of close calls and near falls. The arm stuff was good and it played into the ending to give it some psychology. That gives it most of what makes a great match so this is easily solid for an opener.

Orton is here and no one is talking to him. They’re making this seem like the big deal that it’s supposed to be.

Raw Women’s Title: Melina vs. Beth Phoenix

Melina is gyrating like there’s no tomorrow and it’s working very well. Beth is with Santino here but it’s getting close to the end. Santina would be debuting soon enough to suck the life out of everything again. Beth is just freaking gorgeous. I love that backflip she does to get into the ring. Santino gets a massive chant, proving that no one cares about the women and care about comedy.

Thank you Vince for crippling wrestling and making the comedy more important. Beth very clearly calls a spot to Melina and then whips her in. Beth shows off her power by lifting Melina up with one arm. That’s just freaking scary. Beth’s thong is sticking out which is of course awesome. She gets a leg lock on Melina that’s in so deep that her foot is touching her head. That can’t feel good. Beth actually pulls the leg back to ram it into her head. FREAKING OW MAN!

They botch the heck out of something as Melina is trying to come back. Melina hits an INSANE move where she spins around Beth’s side to get the rollup for the title. That was awesome looking.

Rating: C-. There were far too many botches in there but the submission thing and the ending were both cool. It was your standard Diva match so that’s not saying a lot. Melina’s selling of her back was great here though and it helped the match a lot. Not bad, but still far from great due to the sloppiness. They had a submission match soon after this.

We recap the JBL vs. Cena feud, which is mainly about the JBL and HBK feud over the money or whatever. It was stupid and one of those “real” angles that never work for me. It’s like saying Shawn makes no money from wrestling or anything like that which is just ridiculous. Being conservative, let’s say Shawn makes a quarter million a year. That’s FAR more than enough to live a decent life, but he needs to be sold to JBL to make ends meet?

Shawn more or less lays down for JBL to get the pin. The problem that plagued this at the end was that it ended way too fast. It should have been at Mania instead of No Way Out. To be fair though, that wound up being the wrong choice as Shawn and JBL did what they should have done at Mania.

We see JBL and Shawn in the back and JBL says that if he wins tonight, Shawn is a free man and paid in full and can be in the Rumble. JBL leaves and Shawn looks in a mirror for awhile and then turns around to have Taker staring down at him. He says that sometimes you have to go through a lot to get to Heaven. Yeah they did the right thing.

Ad for Mania.

Raw World Title: JBL vs. John Cena

Cena was kind of casually mentioned in the package. Until the Taker cameo, I would have believed a title change here. The crowd is split on Cena as always. I would have actually believed them going with JBL vs. Shawn, but Taker switched me to reality. The idea here is that Cena is off his game because he has to keep his eye on Shawn. For instance, they’re on the floor and Cena ducks a clothesline but Shawn is in front of him and Cena gets ready to duck the superkick and JBL gets a shot in.

Never mind that the kick would have cost JBL the match but whatever. JBL had lost a bunch of weight at this point and actually looked like he was in very good shape. He lost probably 40 or 50 pounds and actually had a stomach. Shawn is more or less stoic on the floor. There’s a Ram Jam sign in the crowd, which is the finisher of the main character in The Wrestler.

We cut to a shot of Shawn about once every 30 seconds as Cena is more or less a pawn in this, which is ok I guess as this was just another title match for him. Cena has the STFU but due to Shawn standing there he gets nervous and JBL can get out. The Clothesline hits but it just gets two. There goes the referee and we have a bad looking double clothesline spot. Oddly enough we can see the ECW announce table over Shawn’s shoulder and there’s no Todd Grisham. That’s most odd.

Shawn gets in the ring and starts tuning up the band. He kicks Cena and JBL begins his second world title reign. Yeah I don’t buy that either. Oh of course he kicks JBL. Ok he kicks Cena too. He lays JBL on top of Cena as Cole says he doesn’t get it. That might be because Cole is freaking stupid. Yeah it must be. Shawn leaves and shakes his head as Cole tries to figure out the complexity of this.

Have fun Mikey boy as it doesn’t exist. Another referee comes out and we get two. Both guys are out as Cena kicks out so it looks like he’s spooning JBL. DANG that first referee has been out for a long time. He got ran into not freaking shot. Cena gets an easy FU for the pin. Oddly enough it has no name here and was called his move by Lawler in the replay.

Rating: C. Usual stuff from these two with the focus on JBL and Shawn like it should have been. That’s ok here though as it set up the big blowoff with them next month. Like I said Cena was more or less a pawn here and that’s all he should have been. This got JBL and Shawn much further along and it worked well. The match wasn’t that good but it rarely was with these two so what are you going to do.

Buy Legends of Wrestlemania and mess with history.

We recap Edge vs. Hardy which was the result of the Stairwell “Atrocity”. Basically, it seemed like someone wanted to hurt Jeff. There was that, plus him and his girlfriend being run off the road, and him having his face burned by pyro. I went to a house show a few weeks after that and he didn’t appear because of it. I’ve never seen so many kids look so sad. Anyway, Edge denied everything as he was the obvious most likely suspect. This is Jeff’s first title defense.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

Wow. Back in 2000 or 2001 who would have thought that would be realistic? Jeff is WAY over. The celebration for him winning the title was absolutely perfect. My goodness I want to freaking shoot Vickie. Oh she’s Edge’s wife at the moment. It’s no DQ now also. Edge is flanked by Chavo. Edge gets speared as the bell rings, which is stupid as he didn’t need to since there’s no DQ. The WE WANT CHRISTIAN chant starts in about 10 seconds.

Christian would debut again in 16 days and he was already done with TNA and had made it known that he was coming back to WWE. You know the more I watch these shows, the more spots I see called by guys. I wonder if that’s just because I’ve seen a lot or if it’s because it’s becoming more of an issue with these young guys. After Jeff dominates for a bit, Chavo’s interference gives Edge the advantage.

Now we get some stupid hockey jokes after Edge slams his head into the table three times. Geez there’s another called spot. And now it’s weapons time as Edge brings in a chair which doesn’t work. While both are on the apron, Jeff hits a Twist of Fate which pretty much sucked. And there’s the ladder because Jeff is the Sabu of the WWE. Chavo makes a save but gets thrown off and jumped on. Jeff jumps off onto Edge.

I use the term jump loosely as he more or less falls and the splash turns into a headbutt. It looked ok but sloppy. Passable at least. This is the referee with the hitch in his count which is so annoying. Edge counters the Twist of Fate into a DDT which impresses JR. Why? It’s not like that move has never been countered before. That’s why it never worked as a big time move. Think of the leg drop or the Sharpshooter or the Stunner in the earlier days of it or the tombstone.

When one of those connected, it was OVER. Jeff and Edge never had one of those, which is what makes them look weak. Vickie comes out and breaks up the pin off the Swanton. Here’s Matt with a chair and you can feel it coming. The crowd just goes silent over the chair shot and the look from Matt is GREAT.

This was an awesome moment with Edge looking back and forth with an awesome what the heck just happened look on his face. The complete lack of commentary here helps a lot. Matt walks away stoically. This would lead to their two match series that sucked because they didn’t go anywhere near as insane as they could have.

Rating: B-. Not bad but not great here. They had their standard good match that went about 20 minutes. That’s all you need really at the end of the day. The real story here was of course Matt vs. Jeff which is fine as it was a great story that the matches couldn’t live up to. They went fine though here and that’s fine.

Ad for No Way Out, which is now just called Elimination Chamber.

Orton says he’s not worried about Vince. This was the start of the STUPID mental disorder or whatever it was. That could have worked if he never said he didn’t have it or whatever but the whole thing was just stupid. Jericho shows up and says good job on kicking Vince in the head.

We get a recap of all of the Rumbles which never gets old. This is the really cool one with the following stats, accurate as of coming into the 09 Rumble:

22 winners (in 21 matches, but remember Luger and Hart were co-winners)

598 competitors (this is odd as there was one match with only 20 entrants and I don’t think there are enough to knock out twelve people over the years, unless they’re counting all the times where a guy gets beaten up on the way to the ring)

36 people that Austin eliminated, a record that Kane will likely break someday.

11 people that Kane threw out in 2001 which is insane

11 consecutive Rumbles for Kane, which is awesome

1 woman ever for Chyna

62 minutes 12 seconds which is the official record I guess, even though if you listen to the commentary for the 92 Rumble Flair was in for about 70 or so, which was false.

2 seconds that the Warlord lasted.

3 times that Austin won, which is also a record

1, the number with the same amount of winners as number 30, which is insane when you think about it. Note that in the video for this they only show Shawn when talking about the number one spot.

27, which has had 4 winners (Studd, Yoko, Hart, Austin in 2001)

70 which is the percent that since 1993 that the winner has won the world title at Mania.

This was an AWESOME package that got me completely in the mood for a great Rumble.

Royal Rumble

90 second intervals this year. Rey has number one and Morrison number two. If they had any idea what kind of a classic they would have in the fall they would be amazed. Rey’s mask makes him looking like a member of the Klan. Ross and Lawler are doing the commentary which just makes this feel right. One thing I like that they’ve got going here is they have a big Mania 25 logo in the corner of the arena and everyone keeps pointing to it.

Miz and Morrison are of course tag champions here. Rey does an awesome spinning move around John to get to an arm drag. Number three is Carlito. He’s a face here as he’s part of the Smackdown tag champions which would be unified at Mania. Oh no wait it was before Mania because we had to have a Kid Rock medley. MVP, just having turned face is 4th. Khali is 5th as not a lot is happening. He of course dominates the whole thing and chops the heck out of them all.

I hated the match he had with Rey when Rey was world champion. It completely killed Rey’s credibility for months. Kozlov, still undefeated and with a decent amount of heat is 6th. He drops Khali in about 5 seconds. MVP and Carlito are both out now so it’s Rey, Morrison who has been hiding and Vlady. It’s HHH at number 7 to a roar. After a facebuster, HHH throws him out with ease. Orton is 8th and it’s on.

The clock came up very fast for him as I’m assuming HHH was afraid of being in there with two good workers like Morrison and Rey. Morrison gets a 619 and Cryme Tyme come out and flip a coin to decide who gets in and it’s JTG. The clock is going WAY too fast here as DiBiase is 10th. Morrison and JTG both go over but hang on and kick at each other in a cool looking spot and then DiBiase and Rey do it and then HHH and Orton do it. That’s either cool or stupid.

Jericho is 11th. Well no one can say that they’re sticking with small stars in the opening. Despite the star power, not a lot of interesting anything is going on, mainly because it’s so clear Orton will win. Mike Knox and the beard of awesome is 12th. Knox would somehow manage to get into the Elimination Chamber next month which blew my mind and sucked at the same time. Miz is 13th.

He was about to start making fun of Cena and becoming the awesome character that he still is to this day. Morrison takes a sweet RKO and then so does Miz and JTG. He gets stopped by a Pedigree as HHH throws out Morrison and Miz while Finlay is 14th.

In a SWEET spot, Rey goes over the top to the floor but walks on Miz and Morrison to stay alive. That was awesome. How in the world are we almost halfway done with this? Rhodes is number 15. Rey gets a springboard and Orton takes him down with an RKO. The lights go out and Taker is sixteenth. Taker is on one side of the ring and everyone else is on the other. He beats them all up and throws out JTG with ease of course.

The crowd is way into him. That’s why he’s still getting pushed. Gold freaking Dust is 17th. WHY does he still have a job? He has no gimmick and is slipping in the ring. He and Cody have a showdown and Goldie beats him up. This is being written on December 23rd. My wish for Cody: that he makes 1/10 of the impact Goldust made. He’s got a long way to go. Rhodes puts out Rhodes and Orton is very proud. Punk gets number 18.

That pop doesn’t exist according to Vince as he deserves to be jobbed to Cena in less than two minutes. He won the IC Title about two weeks prior to this and the Triple Crown in less than a year. That’s amazing. Vince disagrees apparently. Yeah I’m a Punk mark, get over it. He hits GTS on HHH which surprises me. Henry, still a heel and not yet the Kool Aid Man is 19th.

The ring is WAY too full here with twelve or thirteen people in there. Shelton, the US Champion, is 20th. Punk and Jericho are on the top for some reason and Shelton does a running double Downward Spiral to them, which is called a reverse DDT by JR because he’s an idiot. Regal is 21st and he’s the guy that Punk beat for the IC Title.

Mysterio puts Henry out which is of course perfectly fine. Kofi, still not a big deal at all but getting very popular very fast, is 22nd. Taker is bleeding which I’d assume is hardway and he throws out Shelton. Kane is 23rd. Rey is upside down and hanging on in a weird looking position. Lawler counts 12 or 13 people in there. Kane and Taker hook up for awhile for a double chokeslam on DiBiase. Punk puts Regal out. R-Truth is 24th.

There are WAY too many people in there and even more just laying around and doing absolutely nothing at the moment. That’s the problem with having people last a long time in there. They’re used to ten to twenty minute matches at most so this is the equivalent of a rest hold. Rob Van Dam is 25th to an EPIC pop. The whole match stops to watch.

Something that would crack me up is if they didn’t know he was coming. He does his top rope kick to Kane who just watches it happen. I know there’s no point in having him in there as there’s no way he’ll win, but he’s a WRESTLER and a former world champion. There’s his validation. Kendrick is 26th. He manages to put Kofi out and then be thrown out in 15 seconds. Van Dam is just so ridiculously over it’s scary.

Dolph Ziggler, still meaning nothing, is 27th. He runs into Kane resulting in a quick elimination. There are at least 14 people in there and most of them are doing nothing with maybe 4 really working in there. Ross actually says they’re trying to keep up with the action. Santino is 28 and breaks Warlord’s record by being clotheslined out in 1 second by Kane who was right there. Hogan got a running start to put out Warlord which explains the time lapse.

HHH and Taker go at it which is always awesome. Jim Freaking Duggan is 29th. REALLY? This is what ticks people off about the modern WWE. Shad can’t get in there? Primo can’t? Instead we put a 50 year old jobber in there instead. Yes he’s won before but we don’t wheel Luger out to be in there also.

Big Show is number 30, so here’s your final group. You may need a pillow as this might last into the night. The group is Rey, HHH, DiBiase, Jericho, Knox, Finlay, Rhodes, Taker, Punk, Kane, R-Truth, RVD, Duggan and Show. That’s 14 people. DO YOU THINK THAT’S ENOUGH? Well since they’re all in here let’s get rid of them. Everyone stops except Duggan who keeps punching someone while everyone else stops to watch which looks really stupid.

He and Taker have their requited showdown and Kane does the required run in to stop it. Show puts out Duggan. Jericho jumps on Show which is amusing now. Truth gets thrown out by Show after a beating. Show throws Punk over three times and then knocks him out with a right hand. Punk’s selling is masterful. You know, the selling he demonstrated when he tapped to Cena in 2 minutes at the Slammies because that made SO much sense right?

Show puts out Knox and Rey as Horny comes in for no apparent reason and then Kane eliminates Finlay. Van Dam nods at a referee which I’d assume means something. Show and Taker go at it of course because that has to happen at least once every six months. Yeah Van Dam goes out soon after so I’m assuming a referee signaled that he was next out or something. I’ve always wondered how they knew when to do that.

Taker puts out Jericho and we’re down to seven. We’ve got Legacy, the big trio and HHH. There goes Kane, shocking no one as he jobs first. Legacy goes after Taker which is surprising. Taker counters with a double clothesline and a chokeslam for Orton. He doesn’t throw him over because he has to win though. Taker and Show have a boxing match or something resembling one. Taker has somehow shrunk from 7’0 to 6’11 to 6’10 to now 6’9 over the years.

Orton tries and RKO but just gets shoved off which never gets old. Taker and Show fight on the apron and Orton puts Show out who then pulls Taker out. Priceless being caught in a double choke by Taker made me imagine them in the locker room and Taker saying boys I’ve got cups older than you so sit down. That leaves us with Legacy and HHH as it’s all about him again.

This is a step down from HHH, Batista, Cena and Kane from last year. You ever notice how HHH is ALWAYS around near the end of these things? He was close in 98, won in 2002, 3rd in 2006, 2nd in 2008 and 2nd in 2009. That’s most interesting isn’t it? He of course throws out Legacy and then Orton dumps him for the completely inevitable win. Massive posing takes us out.

Rating: D. This just wasn’t that good. WAY too many people and WAY too much laying around just drained the life out of it. Van Dam coming in was great but Orton was so clearly the winner here that it sucked the life out of it. That’s something I burned Sly on once as he said that this was one of the best Rumbles ever and then slipped and said that the way you determine a good Rumble is by saying anyone could win.

I asked who else could have won in 09. I’m waiting on a reply to that and it’s been nearly a year boss. Anyway, this wasn’t interesting to me back then or now as it was just about HHH vs. the world and that’s simply not interesting. Of course, they would feud for the majority of the year and kill Raw in the process, but Vince is in love with Orton despite what ratings say so there we go.

Overall Rating: B+. Rumble aside, this is a great show. You have four solid matches with drama and title changes and storyline advancement. What more could you ask for out of this thing? I really liked it and it came out very well. The Rumble itself was pretty bad but then again so was Raw as a whole this year. As for the show, watch it but stop the DVD before the Rumble but after the Rumble package.

So that’s the Royal Rumble up til now. Since this is December 23rd, I have no idea what the 2010 card is going to look like so I have no predictions. Overall, the Rumble is the epitome of hit or miss in the company as some like 92 and 04 are classics and great matches while some like 95 or 99 make you long for a 2000 WCW PPV. It’s been able to make stars like Benoit and Shawn while at the same time some have won it and then done nothing like Duggan, Studd and that Austin guy.

It’s the most unique battle royal in wrestling and it’s the real start to Mania which is what it should be. That first three months or even four months of the year is predicated on this one match and other than one year it’s always been at least a 40 minute match so you’re in for a long one. This is definitely something special, and to think it all started so Vince could screw Crockett. Anyway, tomorrow is the Rumble and I’ll likely be pumped.

Sheamus is currently world champion and I still can’t get over that. Anyway, thanks for reading this and I hope you liked it. That wraps up the big four but I’ll be around with random reviews and some stuff from other companies so keep reading or start if you haven’t read this. Wait what?