Smackdown – September 19, 2008: I Remember Why I Don’t Think About 2008 That Much

Smackdown
Date: September 19, 2008
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz

We’re a little bit after Unforgiven 2008 here and I have no idea why we’re watching this show. This was requested a few months ago and now that I finally get around to it, I have no idea why it’s on my list. Anyway, HHH is world champion and is facing MVP in a match which may be for the title in the main event. Other than that nothing jumps off the page at me on the card. Let’s get to it.

Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Maryse

Michelle is defending here and is still just the perky blonde. The title is brand new here too. Michelle takes her down to the mat with a front facelock but Maryse takes over with a headlock. McCool speeds things up and frustrates Maryse who can’t keep up with the champ. Maryse heads to the floor but she trips Michelle up and takes over.

A slingshot dropkick puts Michelle down and Maryse pounds away, only to get rolled up for two. Maryse cranks on a chinlock but McCool uses her height to get back out. Things speed up and a running flipping neckbreaker gets two for the champ. Maryse misses a charge into the corner and McCool hits Christopher Daniels’ Angel’s Wings to retain.

Rating: C-. It’s absolutely amazing how much more interesting a match like this is than the Divas of today. The main difference is that the girls here are athletes who use their athletic abilities in a wrestling ring. Today, we have girls who are mostly models who get some bare bones wrestling training but they look good in shorts. McCool, a chick who had only been wrestling full time for a few years at this point, looked more comfortable than Kelly EVER looked in her entire career. That’s a big reason why the Divas just stopped being interesting at all.

Vickie and Big Show are in the back and Show says he’ll win the title. Eve comes in and says she wants to wrestle, so we look at Taker getting beaten up at Unforgiven. Ok then.

Some people are at a bar in Nashville which is across the street from the arena.

Ryan Braddock vs. Festus

Festus is more famous as Luke Gallows but he’s something close to a pretzel here. Braddock was there for about five minutes and means nothing at all. The idea of Festus is that he stays in a stupor until the bell rings when he’s unstoppable. He and his friend Jesse are part of a moving company who are moving things to another network. There’s the bell and down goes Braddock. Braddock avoids a charge and dropkicks Festus into the corner. Braddock hooks a chinlock but Festus wakes up and massacres Braddock until the movers tape Braddock up with duct tape and bubble wrap for the DQ.

Post break Braddock is carried away. Cute idea but it’s pretty stupid when it goes on this long.

Show and Vickie are in the back and Vickie is going to make Undertaker apologize tonight. Show says he’ll knock Taker out. We see Show’s heel turn from Unforgiven again.

Shelton Benjamin pops up and says he’s the gold standard. He makes fun of R-Truth for being an ex-con. This gold standard idea was death for Shelton.

Shelton Benjamin vs. R-Truth

Shelton is US Champion but this is non-title. Truth only debuted two weeks before this. Shelton takes him to the mat but Truth makes the rope. The spinning forearm puts Shelton down and Truth stomps away in the corner. Shelton gets in a single shot but Truth will have none of it, hitting a side kick for two. Shelton hits the T-Bone Exploder but doesn’t cover.

There’s a backbreaker and Shelton bends Truth over his knee to stay on it. He whips Truth into the corner before hooking a chinlock with a knee in the back. Truth comes back with some right hands and they botch a drop toehold. Back to the chinlock which is turned into a sleeper, but Truth comes back with a jawbreaker. Shelton tries a German but gets victory rolled into the pin.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here again as Truth was too new to mean much other than his rapping stuff. Shelton was just worthless at this point with all of the Gold Standard nonsense as he looked stupid and slowed WAY down, taking away the majority of the appeal he had. The match was just ok.

Gregory Helms pops up during Truth’s exit, saying the price of gold just went down.

Here’s Jeff Hardy for a chat. He says that he’s been here on and off for ten years and he’s the charismatic enigma. Jeff says he’s confident and comfortable in his own skin and he hopes the fans respect that. HHH has motivated him and at No Mercy, Jeff isn’t going to grab the brass ring. He’s going to grab the WWE Championship. As for Vladimir Kozlov…I guess he’ll have to wait because here’s Brian Kendrick. He says Jeff is forgetting about him so Jeff makes fun of Kendrick for awhile. Kendrick makes fun of Hardy’s drug issues which is the height of irony. Jeff says let’s go.

The Brian Kendrick vs. Jeff Hardy

Jeff whacks Kendrick in the face to start and pounds away in the corner. Jeff loads up a powerbomb or something like it but he gets backdropped to the floor as we take a break. Back with Jeff in a half crab but Hardy makes the rope. Kendrick easily snapmares Jeff back down and we hit the same hold again. Jeff comes back with a mule kick and a sitout gordbuster for two. Kendrick gets in a boot to the face and tries Sliced Bread but gets countered into a backslide for the pin.

Rating: D-. What in the world was going on here? This was one of the least interesting matches I’ve seen in a long time and it had two pretty exciting guys in it. Kendrick went south fast after Unforgiven so this was just another part in that process. Hardy would move on to much bigger and better things of course. Horribly uninteresting match though.

Kozlov pops up on stage and kicks Jeff’s head off.

Vickie is having a new TV installed when Show comes in to say Undertaker is here. Vickie makes the cameraman imitate Undertaker and say that he’s sorry. And never mind as it’s Chavo in a costume. This was so stupid.

We see the Undertaker attack video again.

Time for Carlito’s Cabana with Primo in there along with the host. We have some mic issues as we can hear what’s being said but apparently the live audience can’t. It’s quickly fixed and the guest is Primo. Ok then. Primo says his first win last week was easy and the two of them will win the tag titles soon. After a brief argument over who the host of the show is, here are Hawkins and Ryder, the tag champions. Helms pops up again and makes fun of their names.

The champs say Primo is a joke so Primo asks who these guys are. Ryder: “Bro are you serious? You know it!” Carlito finds it funny that Hawkins and Ryder are champions and wants a title match right now. The champs say no because they used to be part of La Familia. Primo: “YOU GUYS SPEAK SPANISH TOO!” Primo talks in Spanish and apparently he swears a lot as Carlito freaks out.

Ryder says the title match is next week and steals Carlito’s line. Carlito asks for someone to pack up the set so here come Jesse and Festus. The champs jump Carlito and Primo, but Primo sneaks out and rings the bell. Festus snaps and cleans house, chasing away the champs with a palm tree.

Maria is drawing something in the back when Brie Bella pops up. She compliments Maria’s art and says she’s heard Maria designs outfits in her spare time. Brie asks for a second when Victoria and Natalya come in to make fun of the other chicks. Natalya and Victoria accuse Brie of having a crush on Horny before saying there’s a handicap match next week and ripping up Eve’s drawings. I have no idea what I just saw.

Scotty Goldman (Colt Cabana) makes fun of Khali and Singh, including with a Singh puppet.

Scotty Goldman vs. Great Khali

Total massacre, Punjabi Plunge, about 90 seconds.

Khali vs. Kozlov next week.

Raw ReBound is Jericho retaining the world title in a cage match over Punk. Jericho later said that it should be JBL vs. Batista with the winner facing Jericho later. Instead Jericho will defend against Shawn at the PPV in a ladder match.

Chavo throws out Hawkins/Bam Neely/Ryder so he (and we) can watch Taker getting beaten down for the 6th time tonight. Taker pops up on screen and Chavo gets grabbed by the arm of an otherwise unseen Undertaker.

HHH vs. MVP

Non-title here. Feeling out process to start and MVP grabs a headlock to get things going. A hiptoss puts HHH down and MVP poses a lot. HHH finally takes MVP down and crotch chops him to tick him off as we take a break. Back as HHH hooks a headlock on the mat but MVP grabs the arm to take over again. Apparently MVP worked over the arm during the break. Works for me. The armbar stays on for a LONG time as MVP keeps control. I mean it’s on for a good three minutes or so.

MVP finally mixes things up with a DDT on the arm for two. He loads up the big boot in the corner but HHH comes out of the corner with a jumping knee to the face. A neckbreaker puts MVP down but HHH charges into a boot in the corner. That means nothing though as HHH spinebusts him down and out to the floor. HHH follows him out and sends MVP into the table but MVP gets in a shot to the arm. They head back in and MVP comes off the top, but he dives into the Pedigree to give HHH the win.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t awful but DANG that middle part was weak. It just kept going and then it meant nothing a few moments later. MVP never quite got over that hump into the main event but he was pretty solid at this point. This match though was basically just something for HHH to do for a few minutes before he got to Hardy at the PPV. Weak main event to a bad show.

Post match here’s Kozlov to stare down HHH. MVP gets in a shot to the Game and Kozlov takes over. HHH comes back with a facebuster but walks into the headbutt to the chest to drop him. Kozlov stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. What in the world was going on here? This was one of the least interesting shows I’ve seen in a very long time. I don’t want to see the PPV and it feels like it should be Kozlov vs. HHH instead of Hardy getting the shot. Other than the main event which was ok at best, everyone was sluggish and nothing was interesting at all. Terrible show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Smackdown – July 20, 2012: Does Smackdown Need To Exist At This Point?

Smackdown
Date: July 20, 2012
Location: Valley View Casino Center, San Diego, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

It’s just after MITB and the only major change is that Ziggler is the MITB case holder for this show. Other than that we’re just in a holding pattern tonight as everything is likely to be shoved forward on Monday at the 1000th Raw. I’d be surprised if we found out anything about Summerslam tonight but it’s possible. Let’s get to it.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is currently Pandora charm bracelets.

Here’s the freshly returned Rey Mysterio to open things up. We’re in his hometown tonight so you know the pop is big. We get a quick recap of Alberto injuring him in this arena a year ago but now he’s back here with his family. He couldn’t wait for tonight to get back which is why he was there on Raw, and Alberto being there just made the whole thing sweeter.

Cue Alberto who calls Rey a chihuahua and says that Rey is back, only to get hurt again. Alberto says that he could hurt Rey all over again but instead he’ll just let Rey leave. Rey says no way so Alberto says whatever and starts talking about Sheamus. Rey says that at MITB, Sheamus beat up Del Rio. Del Rio says that he’ll be the next world champion, and here’s Ziggler.

Dolph talks about winning the case and about how he was going to cash in on Sunday which would make him the World Heavyweight Champion right now. Del Rio says that he’s loco and challenges Dolph for a fight right now, along with his burra (female donkey) Vickie. Rey says get it on right now but Dolph suggests he and Del Rio team up against Rey. Cue Sheamus and I think I know where this is going. Sheamus says that if Ziggler takes another step towards Rey, the briefcase is going up his trunk and he’ll drive Dolph into the Pacific Ocean. Del Rio runs so Ziggler gets an ax handle to the face and almost a 619.

After a break the tag match is announced. If you don’t know what I mean, go read something else.

Prime Time Players/Hunico/Camacho vs. Primo/Epico/Kofi Kingston/R-Truth

Hunico and Epico get things going with things moving very quickly. Hunico slams him face first into the mat but is quickly pulled down into an armbar. Off to Primo for a dropkick and more armbaring, this time on Camacho. A blind tag brings in Truth for some gyrations and a spinning legdrop. Everything breaks down and we take a break. Back with Kofi getting tagged in to beat on Camacho. The Boom Drop hits but Hunico breaks up Trouble in Paradise, allowing Camacho to hit a spinebuster on the flippy Jamaican.

Off to Hunico with a slingshot hilo for two. Titus comes in and slams Kofi down for two before hooking an abdominal stretch. Young comes in but Kofi takes him down with a shot to the face. Hot tag brings in Primo who cleans house. A spinning flip dive off the top takes down Darren and everything breaks down. Titus knocks Primo off the top into the gutbuster from Young for the pin at 6:50 shown of 10:20.

Rating: C. This was fine when you consider how many people were in it. The tag division is actually growing a bit here with four teams to fight each other which is a nice change of pace. Also it’s nice to see at least some of them on TV almost every week. This wasn’t a great match or anything but at least it’s better than nothing.

Big Show comes out post match and cleans house on everyone but the Players. He leaves them all laying with punches and chokeslams before asking for a mic. He says “and what” and leaves.

Jeremy Piven was on Raw once.

We get a LONG recap of Cena’s path to MITB and his promo on Monday, announcing that he’s cashing in at Raw 1000.

Don’t be a bully.

Damien Sandow vs. Zach Ryder

Sandow yells during Ryder’s entrance about how stupid it is so Ryder charges into the ring and it’s on. Ryder pounds him down but Sandow gets in a shot to the head and takes over. Sandow puts Ryder on the apron to drop an elbow as the fans cheer for Zach. Back in and Sandow fires in knees to the ribs, followed by the double arm neckbreaker for the pin at 1:25. Basically a squash.

Time for the Peep Show with Bryan and AJ as the guests. Christian talks about the situation and we get a clip of the proposal from Monday. Here are AJ and Bryan with AJ now in a Bryan top. There’s a ring now on her finger now too. Christian asks about the wedding planning and we get a video of the pair going to various places set to classical music. I miss little videos like this one. Christian asks if Bryan is serious and if AJ has forgiven Bryan for what he did, both of which receive a yes answer.

Christian asks the fans if they think this is true love or if AJ knows what she’s doing. The fans say no, so Christian asks AJ if she knows what she’s doing. That earns Christian a slap and the marriage participants go to leave, but Christian says hang on a sec. Apparently Bryan has a match tonight and it’s with AJ’s psycho ex-boyfriend.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

We start the match after a break so that the set can be cleared out. Bryan fires off some YES kicks but Kane knees him in the ribs to break that up. Kane kicks him down for two and puts on a bodyscissors. A backbreaker hits Bryan and Kane bends Bryan’s spine over the knee. Bryan finally gets up and does the backflip out of the corner before taking out Kane’s knee. Here are more kicks but Kane grabs him by the throat.

Chokeslam is broken up and there’s a BIG kick to the head for two. Bryan goes up but jumps into an uppercut for two. Side slam gets two for Kane and the big man goes up, only to jump into a YES Lock attempt. Kane escapes and they head to the floor with Kane accidentally knocking AJ over. Kane goes off on Bryan and sends him into the announce table. Back inside and Kane loads up the chokeslam but AJ jumps on him, drawing the DQ at 5:13.

Rating: C+. I was getting into this one by the end. The ending is annoying but there’s no need to have Bryan get a win before the wedding as that is likely going to end in chaos. These two have some chemistry together and it was here again, which is always a nice thing to see. AJ still being psycho is a good thing too as it’ll play into the wedding on Monday.

AJ stays on Kane’s back and rips at his face. Bryan charges at Kane but gets chokeslammed with AJ still on Kane’s back. AJ gets down in Kane’s face like she’s about to kiss him and gives him the freaky look. Kane looks confused and Bryan pulls AJ out to the floor. Bryan and AJ kiss on the stage.

Here’s Slater again and he has a new legend to face, which is the first time he’s done that on Smackdown. We get a quick video about Heath’s experiences against legends.

Heath Slater vs. Animal

Yes of the Road Warriors. Animal looks OLD. He isn’t fat but he has no muscle definition at all. The match runs 45 seconds and Animal wins with a powerslam and elbow drop.

Ricardo and Vickie are arguing in the back and Vickie screams a lot.

We run down the stuff for Raw 1000.

Alberto Del Rio/Dolph Ziggler vs. Rey Mysterio/Sheamus

During Dolph’s entrance we get a clip from Monday with the Codebreaker to Ziggler. Ziggler and Sheamus start things off and the champ runs him over with a shoulder block. Ziggler goes after Sheamus’ arm which I guess is still injured. Sheamus picks him up and hits a quick Regal Roll for two. The fans want Rey and here he is, hitting a slingshot legdrop for two. Rey is in a t-shirt here which is a different look for him.

Ziggler takes Rey’s head off with a clothesline for two and it’s off to Del Rio. Rey rolls away from Alberto and tags in Sheamus, sending Del Rio to the floor in fear. Ziggler gets caught in the ropes with the ten forearms and is sent to the floor. Sheamus goes out after him but gets dropkicked coming back in as we take a break. Back with Ziggler getting thrown off Sheamus and there’s the tag to Mysterio.

Rey kicks Dolph in the face for two and it’s 619 time. Del Rio kicks Mysterio in the back to break that up though and comes in with a chinlock. Back to Ziggler for some rope choking and an armbar. Alberto comes back in and works on the arm again but allows Rey to get close to a tag. That doesn’t connect though and Rey gets sent into the corner. Rey backdrops Del Rio to the floor but Ziggler comes in and breaks up the tag to Sheamus.

Ziggler picks up Rey but gets caught in a spinning DDT to put both guys down. There’s the hot tag to Sheamus and Del Rio comes in again. Sheamus cleans house on everyone, including sending Del Rio into Ziggler, knocking Ziggler into the announce table. White Noise takes down Del Rio but Ricardo breaks up the Brogue Kick for the DQ at 9:46 shown of 13:46.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here, especially with an ending like that. That’s not much of a return to the ring for Rey as he never even got a hot tag. The ending was stupid too as it’s the second DQ ending in a big match we’ve had tonight. The match wasn’t even that good either as it was a slow paced version of the main event tag. Not horrible though.

Del Rio puts the Armbreaker on Sheamus again before leaving. Ziggler looks like he’s going to cash in but Rey breaks it up. Sheamus kicks Ziggler’s head off to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. And that’s being VERY generous. There was nothing tonight that means anything as Rey’s return was pretty much wasted and it looks like we’re getting more Del Rio vs. Sheamus. That would be fine if it was set up by something different. Instead, Del Rio is going after Sheamus’ arm AGAIN, because that’s how this feud is set up I guess. This show was worthless, but Monday should have a few things on it. Bad show this week and one of the worst in a long time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Smackdown – July 13, 2012: Ryder Does Nothing…..Again

Smackdown
Date: July 13, 2012
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

This is the final show before Money in the Bank and most of the show is set. For the short term, tonight Zach Ryder is in charge after winning a battle royal last week. We have another week or two before we get a permanent GM so putting Ryder out here like this is a good idea as it gives him some TV time to remind people that he’s still alive. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from Z True Long Island Story of Ryder celebrating his win in the battle royal.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is that extra day off after the All Star Game. What was the point of it?

Here’s Ryder to open the show. He welcomes us to Zach-Down and leads us in a huge fist pump.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Sin Cara

Del Rio makes fun of Ryder so Ryder makes this match. Cara avoids a charging Del Rio but gets taken down by a fast knee for two. The stupid lights are off again. Del Rio takes him down before bending Cara over the middle rope for some choking. Cara avoids a charge in the corner and fires off some kicks. A DDT gets two on Alberto but he comes back with a chop to put Cara down.

Now Del Rio misses a charge of his own and Cara kicks him to the floor. A suicide dive sends Del Rio into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Cara hitting a running kick to the chest for two. Del Rio shrugs that off and grabs the arm as is his custom. He hooks an armbar and cranks on it for a good while. Del Rio misses a charge in the corner (a theme in this match) and Cara snaps off a rana to take over. A spinning DDT gets two for Cara but a Swanton misses. Cross Armbreaker finishes this at 6:40 shown of 10:10.

Rating: C+. This was a better match than I was expecting and Cara looked pretty good in it, but the big issue: why does Cara need to be in here? He’s in the MITB match on Sunday and therefore may be a world title contender in the very near future, but he has to job here. Why? Was there NO ONE else on the roster that Del Rio could have made to tap here? I know I say this a lot but WWE keeps doing it.

We get a quick Tout video from Cena, talking about his favorite Raw moment, which is the night when he was drafter to Raw. This is followed by some fans’ videos. This is going to get old REALLY fast. All of these favorite moments are from the last two years.

Big Show complains to Ryder about how the show is being run. He threatens to knock Ryder out but Khali stops it. Ryder makes a match between the two of them tonight. Khali does Woo Woo Woo.

Primo vs. Darren Young

Young pounds him down to start but Primo comes back with some punches. The running hip attack hits Young while he’s in 619 position but Primo walks into a hot shot. AW is on a mic all of a sudden and says this beatdown is courtesy of All World Enterprises. Young chops away and drops a leg on Primo while he’s on the apron. Back in there’s a regular legdrop and an elbow gets two. AW is playing this role perfectly. Off to a cravate to kill some time but Primo makes a comeback. Young knocks him right back down but he wastes too much time, getting small packaged and pinned clean at 4:08.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here, but AGAIN, what is the point in having one of your #1 contenders lose here? Young isn’t great on his own, but why did he need to lose here? What does this gain? If my memory is right, the match on the preshow is non-title, so you don’t need to keep the Colons strong. Also why isn’t the tag title match happening there? This makes next to no sense on all fronts.

Did you know: Raw has aired 300 more episodes than Monday Night Football. Yes WWE, it means something that when you air 50 episodes a year, you can beat a show that airs 17 a year. Good job.

Another Raw moment is Edge retiring.

Ryder and Sheamus are doing nothing in the back so Jericho comes up and runs his mouth. Ryder makes them the main event.

Christian/Santino Marella vs. Cody Rhodes/Dolph Ziggler

Christian and Cody start us off and the Canadian is taken down by a shoulder block. Christian comes back and brings in Santino, causing Cody to runs away. Off to Ziggler whose hair is slicked back enough that you could barely tell it was there from behind. Ziggler takes him to the mat and we have no commentary. Santino cranks on the arm and I’d assume the audio being gone is a production thing that will be fixed during the broadcast.

Santino works on the arm and brings in Christian, but it’s back to Cody who takes over. Ziggler comes in and we hit the chinlock for a bit. Back to Cody whose Alabama Slam is countered and Christian hits a flapjack to take over. Hot tag brings in Santino and he cleans house, but Cody breaks up the Cobra. Cody and Christian brawl up the ramp, allowing the Zig Zag to hit Santino for the pin at 4:32.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here and while it’s annoying to have another big name and in this case a champion get beaten here, at least it was by someone that would be in the same match as them on Sunday. Santino is there for comedy anyway so it’s not that big of a deal. Ziggler and Cody are the favorites for the match too so if one of them win, that makes it a bit better.

Raw ReBound is the ending to the show with the tag match and AJ slapping both Bryan and Punk.

Great Khali vs. Big Show

Commentary is back now. They circle each other for a bit and the WMD gets the pin in 33 seconds. I’m so glad they did this aren’t you? One good thing though: Khali has nothing to lose here so the win means something (I guess) and Show looks dominant going into Sunday. Why can’t that be the case in every match?

Ryback vs. Tyler Reks

Makes sense after Hawkins getting beat last week. Ryback throws him around to start and sends Reks to the floor, only to get stunned coming back into the ring. That’s the extent of Reks’ offense here though, as Ryback suplexes him down. Reks gets a right hand to Ryback’s ribs but gets clotheslined right down. Shell Shock gets the pin at 1:50. Handicap match next week?

Hugh Jackman was on Raw once.

Rock will be on the 1000th Raw.

Some fans Tout their favorite Raw moments. They’re all from the Attitude Era other than one from 2007. Again, why am I supposed to care about this stuff?

Justin Gabriel vs. Damien Sandow

Sandow takes him down quickly and hooks a chinlock. Justin makes a short comeback with some strikes but he walks into some knees to the face and the double arm neckbreaker gets the pin at 1:30. Total squash.

We recap the reveal of the Anonymous Raw GM because once just wasn’t enough I guess.

We run down the card for Sunday, all four matches of it.

Sheamus vs. Chris Jericho

Non-title here. Sheamus shoves him into the corner and Jericho slaps him. Sheamus pounds him into another corner and Jericho bails to the floor. Back inside and Jericho gets drilled down again. Jericho gets a boot up and hits a middle rope missile dropkick for two. Sheamus is having none of that and hits the ten forearms before knocking Jericho off the apron and onto the announce table.

We take a break and come back with Jericho kicking Sheamus in the chest. Jericho hooks a chinlock but Sheamus gets up and avoids a charge, sending Jericho’s shoulder into the post. Irish Curse gets two as does the Regal Roll. Jericho tries a quick Codebreaker but Sheamus counters. Brogue Kick gets Sheamus caught in the ropes and Jericho hits the springboard dropkick for two.

Sheamus knocks him down again and loads up the High Cross but Jericho counters into the Walls. Sheamus makes a rope but gets put right back into the hold. Jericho pulls him back into the middle of the ring but Sheamus escapes and White Noise gets two. Brogue Kick misses and the Codebreaker gets two. Sheamus kicks Jericho away and pulls himself to the top but jumps into two knees to the face called the Codebreaker. THAT gets two and Jericho is furious. Jericho tells Sheamus to get up but walks into the Brogue for the pin at 12:00 shown of 15:30.

Rating: B. This was your usual good Smackdown main event. I can live with Jericho living here because he dominated the match and lost on a Hail Mary Brogue Kick from Sheamus. They beat on each other for a long time until it was hard to say who was going to win at the end. That’s hard to do anymore but it worked very well here. Good stuff.

Post breaks here’s Del Rio’s car but Del Rio pops up behind Sheamus and puts him in the armbreaker over the stage. You know, exactly what he was supposed to do a few weeks ago before their other match. Sheamus is in trouble to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t bad, but Smackdown continues to be completely not required wrestling to watch anymore. With all of the recaps on here and the quick squashes other than the main event, there wasn’t much worth seeing. MITB looks like it’s just a bump in the road before the 1000th Raw which is the real major show this month. After that though, it looks like they could be in big trouble. Nothing to see here but it’s nothing too bad. Also, what did Ryder do here other than make like 2 matches?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Smackdown – June 29, 2012: Raw Is Still On Monday Right?

Smackdown
Date: June 29, 2012
Location: Ford Center, Evansville, Indiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

It appears to be time to start the MITB build as they did that over on the Raw show. Now over there we had people that had only been WWE Champion, but there aren’t that many candidates for the Smackdown World Title. Also I’m not sure if there are going to be more people in the Raw match or not, but they have more time to change it if they want. Sheamus defends against Ziggler and Del Rio in a triple threat tonight too. Let’s get to it.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is yet again this heat wave. Four straight days of over 100 degrees in Kentucky? That needs to be destroyed.

We open with a recap of the triple threat elimination match from Raw.

AJ vs. Layla

Layla has Tiffany’s old music now because….I have no idea actually. AJ takes her to the mat but Layla runs her over and blows a kiss. A rollup gets two for the champ (non-title here though) and she works on the arm. AJ comes back with a dropkick and corner clothesline for two. Layla comes back with a spinning facejam but AJ kicks her head off. Cue Bryan to shout YES a lot and skip around the ring ala AJ. Layla rolls up AJ for the pin at 3:31.

Rating: C-. This was better than most Divas matches. The ending was another advancement in the story as now Daniel is tormenting AJ. Both girls were looking good here too, although I still don’t like the new music for Layla. Then again I didn’t like the song back when Tiffany had it either. It’s amazing how much better these matches are when they have time.

AJ snaps on Layla post match. Bryan tells her to calm down and says there’s something that needs to be done. He demands to talk to Vickie and threatens to hold the show hostage unless she comes out here. Bryan says YES a lot and AJ does the same. We take a break for a Raw Moment of Tyson joining DX and come back with dueling YES shouts. Vickie comes out and says everyone is tired of hearing Bryan’s catchphrase over and over again.

Bryan says he’s the #1 contender to Punk’s title and he thanks Vickie for getting him that shot. He proposes an alliance once she becomes GM. He wants AJ banned from ringside because she’s a liability. Vickie yells at AJ a lot but Bryan says this is about him, not AJ. Vickie talks about some poll on WWE.com and based on that, AJ is going to be guest referee.

This comes off as incredibly lame to me, as it’s taking WAY too long to make this announcement. Instead of wasting time like this, just announce this stuff and say the Board of Directors made the decision. It saves like ten minutes that you can use on other stuff. Bryan yells NO and leaves. Vickie STILL isn’t done because she announces that there will be MITB qualifying matches over the next two weeks and everyone is eligible to enter.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Zach Ryder vs. Damien Sandow

Sandow does his usual stuff on the way to the ring. Booker says that Sandow needs to stop idolizing Leaping Lanny Poffo. So there is something to that theory I guess. Anyway Ryder takes him down to start but Sandow reverses him into the corner and stomps away. A Russian legsweep puts Ryder down and Sandow drops an elbow which has some Latin name apparently. Sandow ducks his head and gets caught in a facejam followed by the knees in the corner. A kind of powerbomb gets two for Ryder and there’s the Broski Boot. Rough Ryder is countered into a hot shot and that double arm neckbreaker gets the pin at 2:25.

Bryan goes to the Divas locker room looking for AJ but finds Kaitlyn instead. She doesn’t know where AJ is but suggests that Bryan find her and get on AJ’s good side because she’s a bit crazy.

Summerslam hype video.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Jack Swagger vs. Tyson Kidd

Swagger quickly takes him to the mat but gets caught in a pair of rolling cradles for two. He bails to the floor in frustration but gets dropkicked in the face for his troubles. Back in and Kidd charges into a wheelbarrow suplex for two. Jack works on the arm and drops a leg on it for two. Vader Bomb gets two. Swagger hooks a Fujiwara Armbar but Kidd quickly gets up and hits a DDT to put both guys down. A dropkick to the side of the head gets two. A victory roll attempt is countered and there’s the ankle lock but Kidd escapes. Another dropkick sets up a Blockbuster for the pin at 4:30.

Rating: C. The match was fine but the ending was a nice surprise. Swagger would be in the match as a warm body, while Kidd can at least add some dives and high spots which is what makes those matches work. Also it’s nice to see some new faces getting pushed like Sandow and Kidd. They won’t win, but it’s nice to see them getting to rub elbows in a match like this. That’s how you get them pushed which is something WWE really needs to do at this point.

We get the McMahon in the hospital moment AGAIN.

We recap the mess that was the contract on the pole match from Monday.

Ziggler wants to know why Vickie isn’t doing anything but she can’t because the Board is watching her. Dolph wants the Brogue Kick and Cross Armbreaker banned. She says that’ll make her look bad which makes Ziggler freak out. She slaps him in the face but agrees to be out there with him tonight.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Christian/Santino Marella vs. Cody Rhodes/David Otunga

The winning team will both get into the match. David gets a fanfare of music while he poses in the ring now. Santino and Cody start but it’s quickly off to Christian. Christian gets in some right hands but Cody takes him down with a knee to the ribs. Off to Otunga who hits a seated shoulder block for two. Off to a chinlock for a few seconds, but Cody jumps into a punch to the ribs.

Off to Otunga vs. Marella with the champion hitting his usual stuff. He loads up the Cobra but Cody pulls Otunga to the floor before Santino can cover. Rhodes comes in legally and gets a few two counts before throwing the Cobra sock to the floor. Otunga comes in and drops an elbow for two, followed by a modified camel clutch.

Santino suplexes his way out of it and tags in Christian who cleans house. A flapjack and jumping back elbow to Cody look to set up the Killswitch but Cody escapes. Another attempt is countered but the reverse DDT connects. Otunga breaks up the spear but heel miscommunicatio lets Christian spear Otunga down for the pin at 6:23.

Rating: C-. This was fine and we have a warm body and a comedy character into the match now. To be fair, either team could have won and the results would have been about the same. Otunga is just barely above being a comedy character anyway and Cody and Christian probably have about the same chance to win the case. This was fine but nothing great at all.

Sheamus says he could win tonight and make it to MITB, only to get cashed in on. Or he could walk outside and get hit by a car driven by Lindsay Lohan. He doesn’t live by what if’s, and therefore he doesn’t worry.

Time to waste another minute and a half by talking about This Is Your Life Rock.

Bryan comes up to AJ in the back and says he’s worried about her well being. AJ attacking Layla isn’t like her and maybe she should seek professional help. Bryan knows a doctor that could help her, because people that care about each other help each other out. AJ says she’ll take the number. Well actually she says YES a lot but you get the idea.

Dan Barone/Brendan Burke vs. Ryback

The jobbers are from Kentucky (YAY!) and they combine to weigh 350lbs. Where do they find these singing jobbers? Is there a farm where they’re grown? Barone takes a HUGE powerbomb and Shell Shocked (that’s the official name for it) ends this at 1:50.

Aksana and Cesaro are kissing in the back when Teddy interrupts them. He’s the GM for both shows next week and on the live Smackdown this Tuesday they’re facing Layla and Great Khali. Teddy has power again for 20 seconds and he’s already made a tag match.

The Raw ReBound is about the ending and the MITB match.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Justin Gabriel vs. Tensai

This is quite the downgrade for Tensai. Cody is officially protesting not being in the MITB match because he didn’t lose. Tensai runs him over with his usual stuff and hits a butterfly suplex for two. A bearhug is quickly broken up as is Gabriel’s sunset flip. Gabriel fires off some kicks but can’t even drop Tensai. A springboard missile dropkick puts him down though and a Lionsault gets two. Not that it matters as he jumps into the Baldo Bomb and the running backsplash gets the pin at 2:45.

The THIRD Raw Moment of the night is HHH returning from his quad injury in 2002.

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler

Del Rio still wants a one on one match and doesn’t like competing in this little town. Vickie interrupts him and does Dolph’s intro. We go to a break before the match and this is either something only on the international version or they’re REALLY going overboard, as the fourth Raw Moment is Barker on Raw. Sheamus knocks them both down to start and sends Ziggler to the floor. Del Rio jumps the champion from behind but walks into the Regal Roll for one.

Ziggler tries to jump Sheamus and gets glared at. Sheamus chases him around the ring and runs over Del Rio on the way back in. Del Rio hits the DDT on the arm to take over and hooks an armbar. Sheamus gets sent to the floor and Ziggler follows him out, beating up both guys on the floor. He covers Alberto for two in the ring and dropkicks Sheamus to the floor again.

Del Rio misses a charge into the corner and Ziggler gets two off the collision into the buckle. The fans are behind Sheamus even though he’s on the floor. Del Rio breaks up a superplex attempt but gets knocked off the top to the floor. Sheamus comes back in and hits an electric chair drop on Dolph as we take a break. Back with Del Rio knocking Sheamus to the floor again. The challengers both fall outside on their own and work over the champion at the same time.

They beat on him behind the announcers’ desk and send him into the steps before going back inside for more beating. Alberto double crosses Dolph and tries to steal the title, resulting in a slug out between the two of them. Sheamus comes off the top with a double shoulder block and everyone is down. Ziggler gets thrown to the apron for the ten forearms to put him down. The DDT to the arm is countered and the Irish Curse gets two. Ziggler comes back in but the Fameasser is avoided and there’s White Noise.

Del Rio breaks up the Brogue Kick and gets two on Sheamus. The Armbreaker is broken up but Sheamus charges into the post. Ziggler dropkicks the arm into the post but Del Rio kicks him to the floor. There’s the Armbreaker but Ziggler makes the save. Fameasser gets two on Alberto but Ricardo gets on the apron. Ziggler rolls up Del Rio but Sheamus kicks his head off for the pin at 11:15 shown of 14:45.

Rating: B. This was a solid TV main event with a ton of near falls at the end. Unfortunately it probably sets up Del Rio vs. Sheamus for the title at the PPV because that’s the match they want, even though it’s been moved twice already, one of which I believe was a sign from a higher power not named Vince. This was good stuff though with a ton of near falls and chances that the title could have changed. Sheamus winning was in doubt at some points, which is a very nice touch.

Overall Rating: B-. Given the insane amount of time wasted on this show, they got a lot done. If they had any sense of time management this could have been an even better show. Still though with a good TV main event and some build to MITB including some nice surprises, it’s hard to complain much here. Teddy as GM should be keeping the course just fine so the live show might actually be good.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Smackdown – June 22, 2012: See? Smackdown Can Still Be Good

Smackdown
Date: June 22, 2012
Location: 1st Mariner Center, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

We’re past No Way Out and we have the same world champion in the form of Sheamus. We’re starting the build up to MITB as well so maybe we’ll have someone added to the ladder match here. If I understand it right we have eight people in it again, but I’m really not sure if they have enough people to put 16 guys in two ladder matches. Besides that’s too many in a single match anyway. Let’s get to it.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is this heat. It’s way too hot to be early summer.

Bryan vs. Kane later tonight plus Sheamus vs. Ziggler in a non-title match.

Here’s Teddy to open the show. Ace is officially fired and tonight, Mick Foley is in charge. Here’s Big Show instead though for a chat. He doesn’t care that Ace is fired because he didn’t care about him. Show doesn’t care about the fans either and now he can do whatever he wants. He congratulates Cena for the win on Sunday but doesn’t care about that anymore. Yep, another main event loss is being written off.

Instead Show is moving on to something, but the fans have to chant for Cena first. Since Show doesn’t care about them though, he’s moving on to the MITB match. He says there are no five men that can stop them, which is a great sounding thing as it might mean that there are only going to be six people in the match. Once he wins the case and cashes in, he’s going to be champion for as long as he wants to be. He’s going to win the title for himself instead of the people in the back or the fans, because it’s all about him.

Cue serious Brodus who is a little hard to take seriously when he has the girls with him. Brodus charges in and is immediately taken down by knee strikes. Brodus hits the headbutt and Show goes down fast. He pounds on Show in the corner but Otunga comes out and hits the bad knee to put Clay down. Show hits him in the knee a few times as the fans chant that Show can’t wrestle. The WMD leaves Brodus laying. Otunga gets in the ring and says someone should call Brodus’ mama. He’ll do it himself and tell Mama Clay that Brodus can’t get up. Otunga does the Carlton Dance and the Thriller Dance. Ok then.

Ryback vs. Frank Venanzia/Jared Walker

Booker says Walker is Brickhouse Brown’s cousin. There’s a name out of the past. Ryback calls them stupid a lot and powerbombs Walker onto Frank. Double Samoan Drop gets the pin at 1:43.

Foley is in the back with Yoshi Tatsu when Vickie comes up. She’s the guest GM of both shows next week. If Foley doesn’t behave, she’ll make him her assistant. Foley likes the idea and offers Khali as an assistant instead. Khali and Foley dance.

Bryan’s memorable Raw moment is Jannetty beating Shawn for the IC Title.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian

Non-title of course. Christian hits a shoulder block to take Del Rio down and hooks the sunset flip out of the corner for a fast two. Del Rio responds by kicking him in the head to take over but Christian sends him to the floor. The champ dives onto Del Rio as we take a break. Back with Del Rio holds Christian in an arm lock. During the break Christian’s shoulder went into the steps to start the attack.

Elbow drop gets two for Del Rio and he stays on the arm. A kick to the arm gets two. Alberto goes up but Christian gets in a right hand and a top rope rana for two. With Del Rio in the rope Christian hits his uppercut but the top rope cross body misses. The corner enziguri misses and Christian hits the tornado DDT for another two. The Codebreaker to the arm slow Christian down again but he shrugs it off and hits a missile dropkick for two.

The Killswitch is countered into a Stunner on the arm for two. Christian takes him down and loads up the spear but he charges into a kick to the face. Cross armbreaker is countered into a countered Killswitch. They go to the corner but Rodriguez interferes, allowing Del Rio to hit the corner enziguri and the Armbreaker for the tap at 6:14 shown of 9:44.

Rating: B-. So to be clear, Del Rio has now beaten both midcard champions in four days. Shouldn’t he still be #1 contender by default, or do they really need to have him crush the champions in order to get there? At least this wasn’t a 90 second long match like the one against Santino was. Christian is still solid here and I’ve been liking his face run a lot.

Cody comes out and beats up Christian post match because this feud isn’t done for some unexplained reason. Cody shouts that he is Smackdown and that Christian is stealing his time.

We get a recap from Raw on Monday with Bryan/Kane/Punk/AJ.

Kane vs. Daniel Bryan

AJ is guest timekeeper for this for no apparent reason. Bryan fires off kicks to the legs but charges into a slam. Kane pounds away but charges over the top by mistake. That doesn’t seem to matter much as he keeps beating on Bryan on the floor, only to get sent into the post. Bryan loads up the knee off the apron but Kane gets back inside instead. Running dropkick in the corner gets two and it’s time for the kicks.

Kane comes back with his low dropkick for two and follows Bryan into the corner with a clothesline. Bryan comes back with more kicks but Kane grabs the leg. That gets him nowhere as Bryan sends him into the buckle. He slips coming off the top with the dropkick but a second attempt at it gets two. Kane gets all fired up and pounds away in the corner. Big boot looks to set up the chokeslam but Bryan dropkicks the knee.

A hard kick to the head gets two for Bryan but his Swan Dive is caught in a choke. That gets countered into a failed YES Lock but the chokeslam is countered into a guillotine. Kane powers out of that too but Bryan gets the YES Lock. AJ rings the bell without a tap at 7:25. That gets waved off because Kane didn’t tap and the chokeslam gets the real pin at 7:54.

Rating: C+. I was getting into this at the end until we got to the psycho AJ segment of it which was also fine. The near falls at the end were getting good and I was wondering if Kane was going to tap or not, which is a good thing. Another interesting thing here is that Bryan is on the verge of being turned face by crowd reaction alone, which usually results in a monster push. This was a nice surprise.

AJ skips off of course.

Here’s Foley for a chat. He’s glad Ace got fired so he can come back for one night only in Baltimore. Cue Heath Slater to a big cheer from Cole. Slater complains about what happened on Raw with Lauper and Piper, but Foley says there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Foley makes a match for Slater here tonight though.

Heath Slater vs. Zach Ryder

You know, because the LONG ISLAND GUY couldn’t be on Raw in LONG ISLAND right? Ryder takes over quickly but Slater hides in the corner. He comes back with a neckbreaker for two but walks into knees out of the corner. Rough Ryder gets the pin at 1:12.

Foley and Ryder celebrate in the back but run into Sandow. He’s disgusted by what he just saw and says that Ryder has brought the WWE Universe down to new levels of stupidity. I guess Sandow has his first feud.

Usos vs. Prime Time Players

Darren and Jey start things off with the Uso taking over. They head to the corner and the brothers double team Darren. Titus avoids a double superkick and it’s off to Jimmy. Darren drives him into the corner and it’s off to Titus for some power. We hit the chinlock which Jimmy escapes pretty quickly. Hot tag brings in Jey but he and Darren go to the floor quickly. Jimmy goes up for the Superfly Splash but Titus pulls him down and hits the Clash of the Titus for the pin at 3:24.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but the Prime Time Players getting another win is a good thing for them. With the tag champions being gone for awhile now until Truth’s foot heals, Young and O’Neal need to be built up as much as they possibly can. The match was nothing of note but it did its job pretty well.

Post break Epico and Primo jump the Players in the back.

Here’s Santino for Sign of the Night. Most of these signs suck. Some chick has an I Love Santino sign and he invites her into the ring. She’s dressed like Santino and their Cobras kiss. Then she kisses him and Santino faints.

Jerry Lawler likes Vince in the hospital. This is the third time I’ve seen this in a week.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus

Non-title here. Ziggler gets behind Sheamus to start but Sheamus easily powers out of it. Sheamus takes him down to the mat with a headlock followed by a shoulder for two. Ziggler gets a boot to Sheamus’ face and sends him to the floor. Dolph is hitting and running here which makes sense. What doesn’t make sense is diving at a power guy, resulting in him getting caught in a fallaway slam into the barricade as we take a break.

Back with the guys in the ring and Ziggler putting on a chinlock. They go to the floor and Sheamus sends Dolph into the steps but he stops to yell at Vickie. Dolph comes back with a sweet Fameasser off the steps to take over. Neckbreaker gets two as does an elbow drop. A quick sleeper is countered but Dolph dropkicks him down for two. Another neckbreaker gets two so let’s hit the chinlock again.

Sheamus breaks out of that one just as easily as he has all of the other ones. He starts running over Ziggler and loads up White Noise but Ziggler escapes into a rollup for two. Dolph comes back with a jumping DDT for two and Sheamus goes to the apron. He goes up top and knocks Ziggler out of the air when Dolph tries to run the ropes. The top rope shoulder gets two and there are the ten forearms in the ropes. Irish Curse is broken up but Ziggler charges into the Brogue Kick for the pin at 10:00 shown of 13:30.

Rating: B-. I liked this one more than the PPV match. Ziggler used a lot of sleepers and chinlocks, but there’s something about him where you think that he could pull off an upset here. He can hit that Fameasser from anywhere and it would do him a lot of good to make that his primary finisher. This worked well though and for a TV main event, this was fine.

Overall Rating: C+. What an improvement over last week. This show felt like it was actually decent even though nothing really happened. The main event was good and we got another good match in Bryan vs. Kane. Above all else though, nothing was really bad and we got some good matches too. That makes this about ten times better than last week’s show which is the best thing that could happen for Smackdown this week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Smackdown – June 15, 2012: This Show Was A Waste Of My Time

Smackdown
Date: June 15, 2012
Location: Verizon Wireless Arena, Manchester, New Hampshire
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

It’s the final show before No Way Out and most of the show is set I believe. Tonight we have a tag match between the guys in the world title matches which is a nice touch. Other than that I’m not sure what else there’s going to be, but I’d bet on there being some Johnny Ace talking time, which is some cross between hilarious and awful. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the ending of Raw and the punch not hitting Vince in the face.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is the Cincinnati Reds. Those pesky people sweeping the Indians.

Here’s AJ to open the show. She says there’s a very simple reason why she kissed Kane on Raw. Before she can get it out though, here’s Vickie to interrupt her. She says that AJ isn’t the story tonight, because the story is Dolph Ziggler. Ziggler talks about yelling at Vickie and saying he’s better than this. He goes into one of his fast paced insult barrages at AJ, who responds by saying “I stopped listening about halfway through that but I guess I was supposed to be offended?” The huge smile on her face and the voice she says it with make that awesome.

AJ thinks the bleach in Ziggler’s hair has gotten into his brain if he thinks he’ll win the world title. She calls Vickie his grandma and gets slapped. AJ gets the psycho eyes going but here’s Punk to make her all smiley. He says that just because Vickie says excuse me doesn’t mean we have to. There is no excuse for Vickie because every week she comes out here and talks about Dolph Ziggler but he never comes through. If he’s the voice of the voiceless, Vickie is the voice of the pointless.

Ziggler is about to offer a rebuttal but here’s Bryan. AJ looks half scared and half angry. Bryan says Punk is a hero for having AJ make out with Kane on Monday and hiding behind him here tonight. He says AJ has Punk wrapped around her finger and she doesn’t realize it. AJ cost Bryan at Wrestlemania and if she’s in Punk’s corner on Sunday, it’ll mean Bryan wins the title.

Cue Sheamus because five people talking in this segment aren’t enough. Sheamus can’t believe Bryan still believes AJ cost him the title. He admits Ziggler had a great showing on Monday, but that means nothing on Sunday. Let’s do the tag match now. AJ charges at Vickie but Punk pulls her back. The match starts after a break.

Sheamus/CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler/Daniel Bryan

Bryan and Sheamus get us going and the speed attempt gets caught in a Regal Roll for two. Off to Punk who comes off the top with an elbow to the arm. Off to Ziggler and it’s time for more arm work. Sheamus works over the arm a bit and Punk hits a slingshot hilo on Dolph. A delayed vertical suplex gets two. Sheamus comes in and Ziggler literally runs to the corner for the tag.

Ziggler comes back in almost immediately and pounds Sheamus down. A knee drop gets two. Back to Bryan who walks into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Back to Punk for the springboard clothesline and he goes to the apron. Ziggler distracts him and Bryan knocks him off the apron. That seems to be the same sequence they’ve used to change momentum in Smackdown tag matches for weeks now.

Bryan hits the running knee of the apron and we take a break. Back with Bryan missing a swan dive and it’s a double tag to bring in Ziggler vs. Sheamus. Irish Curse gets two as Bryan makes the save. Everything breaks down but Punk and Bryan go to the floor. Zig Zag is countered and Sheamus hits White Noise. He loads up the Brogue Kick but the girls come in. Ziggler uses the distraction to get a rollup with a handful of tights for the pin at 8:43 shown of 12:13.

Rating: C. This was just a regular main event style tag match. The ending was certainly the right call as they had to give us a reason to think that Ziggler has a chance on Sunday. He doesn’t but it’s nice of them to try to give us a reason to think otherwise. Punk and Bryan were barely involved in this match, but they’re all set up already anyway.

Post match the girls get in a fight and Vickie rams her into the apron before running off. AJ’s back is hurt so Kane comes out to carry her away. Punk goes after him but gets a chokeslam for his efforts. Bryan gets the same. AJ is on her knees on the stage and looks all cuckoo eyed at Kane.

Here’s Brodus Clay for a match but before the match he talks about how he can’t go near Ace’s prized possession or he’s immediately fired. That’s ok though because John Cena is going to take care of the prized possession on Sunday. All he wants now is competition, which Ace has promised him.

Brodus Clay vs. Heath Slater

Dang it and I was getting my hopes up for a second there. What a shock: something with Ace involved is a letdown. Splash finishes in 22 seconds.

Post match Brodus is about to dance when Otunga, the guy Clay is facing on the pre-show on Sunday, takes out Brodus’ knee. The leg work goes on for awhile.

Alicia Fox vs. Beth Phoenix

Layla is on commentary. Alicia takes her down to start but misses her flipping leg drop. Glam Slam ends this in 50 seconds. Yeah and this REALLY makes me want to see the Divas Title match Sunday.

John Cena says don’t try this.

Hornswoggle’s favorite Raw moment is the Muppets episode. I love the Muppets, but this is literally longer the previous two matches combined. When matches are relegated to getting 30 seconds each, maybe it’s time to cut down on stuff like this.

Now to waste more time, here’s Ace to show us a recap of the ending to Raw. As in the SAME THING WE SAW AN HOUR AGO! After wasting three minutes on that, Ace talks about how he’s put his job on the line more than once before and has always come out on top. He brings out Big Show who talks about how he can say and do whatever he wants here because he’ll get paid no matter what.

Back in WCW, he was never able to be pushed over the faces of the company like Hogan, Flair and Sting. Once he left there he came to WWF and everyone gave him advice. Vince’s advice was to put on a show, so he named him the Big Show. So for fourteen years (how is February of 1999 to June 2012 14 years? That’s bad math even for WWE) he did it Vince’s way. For 10 of those years, he cracked jokes and laughed. That statement actually made me close my eyes and shake my head from how wrong it was.

Show talks about how he’s proud to not be like Cena anymore and how he can do whatever he wants and doesn’t have to care about what the fans think. What he does to Cena will be calculated and uncomfortable. He’s looking at this sunday as his first match, where he will be victorious. He guarantees it. The two of them go to leave but Cole stops them. He says that he’s heard Cena is on his way here tonight (big pop). Show says if Cena is looking for him, he won’t be hard to find.

Christian comes out for his match so of course we have to look at a recap of his feud with Cody, as in an Over The Limit recap. The rematch is at No Way Out.

Christian vs. Jack Swagger

Swagger pounds him into the corner but Christian gets a kick into the ribs to break up the momentum. They go to the floor and Swagger runs him over with a clothesline. Back in and Jack hits a legdrop for two. An attempt at a second misses and Christian takes over again. A spear misses but the ankle lock is countered. Jumping back elbow out of the corner puts Jack down and Christian goes up. Swagger tries to run the corner but gets shoved down and the Frog Splash gets the pin at 2:47.

Ryback vs. Ari Cohen/Mike Testa

The fresh meat tell a knock knock joke before the match. What are you expecting here? Double Samoan Drop ends this at 2:03. We get it already, now find him someone we’ve actually heard of.

Damien Sandow vs. Tyson Kidd

This is a result of the latest JR trolling by the troll last week. Sandow went after him but Kidd made the save. Damien jumps him to start, Kidd gets some offense in, the Sharpshooter is countered and the neckbreaker gets the pin at 1:02 in ANOTHER FREAKING WORTHLESS MATCH!

We run down the PPV card.

Now we see Big Show’s talk from forty minutes ago.

Cena arrives and goes into Ace’s office but it’s empty.

Don’t be a bully, but buy our PPV with a pair of bullies in the main event.

Cena FINALLY shows up to fire up the show a bit. He talks about getting a phone call saying that Big Show called him out, so here he is. Wait so why have they been hyping up the idea of Cena calling out Big Show all night if Show apparently called him out? Whatever as this show is almost over. Cena says he’s not hard to find and the Big Show shouldn’t be either, so here’s Ace to waste more of our time.

Ace says that Show has been sent home to make sure the match takes place on Sunday, as well as so we could hype up Show and Cena face to face all night and then not deliver it. Cena says that puts Ace in the #1 spot on the to be knocked out list. Ace lists his job titles and says that if Cena touches him, he’s fired. Cena points out that the match has to take place on Sunday so Ace can’t fire him. John makes fun of him even more and gets ready to beat him up but Ace tells him that if he beats Ace up, then Cena will be fired. Cena blasts him in the head and says someone gets fired on Sunday to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. This show was the definition of a failure. There was NOTHING on here that was any good and nothing at all was added to the PPV. Someone gets fired in the main event. So we might get the Ace firing that we’ve been promised for weeks now or another Cena firing which we’ve seen how many times now? This was a total waste of my time and one of the worst TV shows I’ve seen in a very long time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Smackdown – June 8, 2012: I Could Build A House Faster Than They’re Building This PPV

Smackdown
Date: June 8, 2012
Location: Colonial Center, Columbia, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

Back to the blue guys again for another Smackdown. The only thing announced so far is that Del Rio and Sheamus will do something. Whatever that something is has yet to be announced but that might be for the better. The whole company is almost at a standstill at the moment but hopefully things pick up soon. Let’s get to it.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is people that won’t return e-mails.

Here’s Del Rio to open things up. He shows us a clip from Raw and his attack on Sheamus’ arm, because we haven’t had an arm injury angle in two full weeks now. After some basic threats of taking the title, here’s…..Ricardo dressed as Sheamus. He even has white leggings and arm covers to make himself look pale. Del Rio says this isn’t really Sheamus, because anyone can pound their chest like a caveman, spike their hair like a stupid kid and act like a hooligan. Ricardo tries a Brogue Kick and falls down.

Cue the real Sheamus who looks ticked off. Both guys jump him immediately but Sheamus throws Ricardo out with ease. Rodriguez comes back in and Del Rio kicks Sheamus in the head. He goes for the arm but Sheamus fights him off and clears the ring. They go to leave but Sheamus chases them down and runs them over. He tries to load up the High Cross off the stage but Ricardo makes the save. They go for the arm again but referees break it up. Teddy comes out and says that since Ace isn’t here, he’s in charge tonight. He makes Sheamus vs. Kane and Del Rio vs. this man.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Great Khali

Khali starts with the chops in the corner but misses a big boot in the corner, allowing Del Rio to go after his legs. He puts on a leg lock but Khali punches him in the head to escape. Why over complicate things I guess. A kick to the head of Khali gets two. After some more knee work, he switches to the arm for no apparent reason. Del Rio goes up but jumps into another chop to the chest. Ricardo distracts Khali to stop the Punjabi Plunge and the Cross Armbreaker gets the submission at 3:29.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here other than a near squash. Khali is fine for roles like this as he wasn’t in there long and his size alone makes beating him seem impressive. Del Rio isn’t interesting still, but at least with Ricardo out there we’ll get some decent comedy moments. The match was just ok.

We get the Big Show piece from Raw where he talks about being tired of being seen as a joke.

Teddy is in the back when Brodus’ girls and Brodus himself come in. Brodus is now officially on Smackdown permanently but can’t be on Raw because of Big Show. Ok then.

Brodus Clay vs. Derrick Bateman

Apparently Clay sees Big Show when he sees Bateman. Clay pounds Bateman down with ease and we head to the floor for the headbutt. Back in the ring there’s the splash and suplex. Splash and we’re done at 1:05.

Video on the Mexico/South America tour.

Booker’s favorite Raw moment is his match with Buff Bagwell for the WCW Title. Oh what a disaster that was.

Sin Cara vs. Drew McIntyre

Drew immediately knocks him down but Cara comes back with his kicks. Drew gets in a shot and takes over, sending Cara to the floor for a second. Back in and it’s a chinlock for a big but Cara comes back with some ranas. A BIG boot sends Cara flying, but Drew charges into two boots in the corner. Cara goes up and tries to jump into his finisher but Drew blocks it. Cara never hits the ground and comes out with a spinning DDT for the pin at 3:15.

Rating: C. Cara has looked WAY better since coming back. He’s not botching anything of note and he’s mixing up his finishing moves which is a nice touch. He’s beating up jobbers pretty easily which is a good sign also. That’s something the company has improved on in the last month or so: its use of jobbers for squashes.

Tony Andriotis/Kevin Mahoney vs. Ryback

Double MuscleBuster/Samoan Drop, 1:43. Next.

The crew sets up the Peep Show set but Cody Rhodes comes out and breaks it up. He talks about how he was going to be the guest on the show tonight but Christian should be pandering to him instead of Cody pandering to the host. Cue Christian who says he’s the one that beat Cody, not the other way around. Cody wants to know who Christian thinks he’s fooling, because before then he didn’t care about any of the people.

Christian says he had a moment of clarity. He missed most of the year with an injury, and while he was out he inducted Edge into the Hall of Fame. While Edge was giving his speech, it occurred to Christian that a career can end in an instant. He didn’t want to be remembered a the guy that whined about wanting one more match all the time. He wanted to come back and win championships and put together a Hall of Fame career on his own. Cody laughs about Christian being in the Hall of Fame and says that at No Way Out, the title is coming home. Christian says shut up and wants a fight, but here’s Dolph Ziggler.

Christian vs. Dolph Ziggler

This should be good. So Christian was going to do the talk show and wrestle? That’s quite a night. Cody sits in on commentary. Feeling out process to start with Ziggler throwing Christian to the floor. Christian comes back quickly and rams Ziggler into the barricade. Dolph knees him down and we take a break. Back with Ziggler holding a chinlock which Christian easily breaks.

Ziggler takes him right back down and hooks the same hold as Cody complains about not getting a fair shake at Over the Limit. A slingshot sends Christian into the corner but the Fameasser is countered into a powerbomb for two. Christian hits an uppercut while Ziggler is on the ropes but the spinning sunset flip is rolled through and the Fameasser gets two. Christian puts him back down but his spear is countered by a dropkick for two. There’s the sleeper but Christian counters quickly. He goes up and knocks a charging Ziggler down so that the Frog Splash can get the pin at 6:34 shown of 10:04.

Rating: C+. This was the match you would expect these two to have. Ziggler is basically a jobber to the stars at this point, which is pretty stupid given the lack of main event talent they have at the moment. With Jericho and Orton both suspended, Ziggler could be a solid fill-in guy, but instead they have him jobbing left and right. The good thing is they haven’t had him look weak in these losses, which will help him a lot in the long run.

We get the ENTIRE Cole vs. Cena segment from Raw.

Cole speaks about the incident but gets cut off by JR……being imitated by Hornswoggle. We get some slow motion replays of the beating and Horny laughs a lot. Thankfully Damien Sandow cuts this off to save us. He runs down Horny and goes after him but Tyson Kidd makes the save. He dropkicks Sandow to the floor and Sandow walks away. When Kidd turns to look at the leprechaun, Sandow comes back in and beats Kidd up, hitting his neckbreaker.

Kane only cares about winning the triple threat match tonight. AJ’s look means nothing to him. Kane walks away and AJ is watching him from behind some crates.

Jimmy Uso vs. Antonio Cesaro

Teddy has to do the entrances for Antonio and Aksana. Cesaro pounds him into the corner to start but Jimmy comes back with a superkick to the ribs. A headbutt gets two but Cesaro throws him into the air and down into the European Uppercut. The falling Cradle Piledriver gets the pin at 58 seconds.

Sheamus’ favorite Raw moment is the Breakthrough Battle Royal.

Sheamus vs. Kane

They fight over a lockup to start with neither guy getting an advantage. A shoulder puts Sheamus down so the champ goes after the arm. Kane throws him into the corner but Sheamus comes back with some punches. That gets him nowhere as Kane rams him into the corner and works on the bad arm. A brief comeback is stopped and Sheamus is thrown to the apron and booted to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Kane getting one off a move we didn’t see. Kane hooks a neck crank followed by a side slam for two. Back to the crank which is broken a bit slower this time. Sheamus comes back with some kicks to the ribs and hits the top rope shoulder to put Kane down. A running knee to the ribs and a double ax get two for Sheamus. Powerslam gets the same. Regal Roll is countered and Kane uppercuts him down.

The low dropkick gets two and Sheamus grabs the Irish Curse out of nowhere for the same. Sheamus is getting a little frustrated so he drops a bunch of knees on the back of Kane. Here comes the Brogue Kick but instead he opts for the ten forearms. A suplex back in is blocked and Kane goes for the clothesline. A superplex attempt is blocked but the clothesline misses. White Noise hits but Kane tries the chokeslam. Sheamus fights out of it and they clothesline each other, followed by Ricardo running in for the DQ at 9:34 shown of 13:04.

Rating: C. This was getting decent but it was clear they couldn’t have either guy go over leading up to PPV title matches. That being said, while the ending was predictable it doesn’t mean it was bad. It’s good that they don’t have either guy lose clean, but at the same time, why would Del Rio want to interfere here when Kane could do more damage to Sheamus?

Kane takes Sheamus down post match and here’s AJ to smile at Kane. The distraction lets Sheamus Brogue Kick Kane’s head off. Ricardo gets up and Sheamus does the same to him to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t bad and it did its job of furthering the main event match. We also got another match added to the PPV with the IC Title in it, as well as got some TV time for some of the new characters. Adding Brodus to Smackdown is probably a good idea as there’s only so much room for him on Raw at the moment. This wasn’t a great showbut it certainly wasn’t bad, which is pretty good anymore.

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Monday Night Raw – June 4, 2012: Make This The AJ Show. Please?

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 4, 2012
Location: BI-LO Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Cena is back tonight. That right there almost automatically makes the show better than it was last week. We have tonight and another week before No Way Out so it should be interesting to see what kind of build we get for those matches. Orton is gone so Miz has nothing to do which likely won’t be mentioned. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Big Show’s dominance over the last week.

Here’s Cole to interview Cena. Cole says that Cena was knocked out twice in 24 hours and it’s his own fault, because he tried to be a comedian instead of supporting Big Show. Cena says that Ace was a bully and he had everything ready to get rid of him and the new GM would have rehired Show. Cole says that Cena caused all this and says that Show is unbeatable. Cena says Show wanted more money and turned his back on everyone.

Now Cole thinks Cena is jealous of Big Show because Show didn’t lose at Wrestlemania, nor did he get beaten up by Lesnar for 20 minutes. Cole thinks Cena is overrated now and that Show puts us out of our misery that we’ve developed after watching Cena’s matches for the last few years. Oh and Cena can’t hit him. Cue Ace now who says that Cena gets to pick his own opponent tonight. Cena tries to pick Ace about 5 times but Ace says that he’s retired and Big Show is NOT here tonight. Cena picks someone that is uninteresting, overrated, and that JR says is being shoved down our throats every week. You know it’s Cole.

Post break Cole begs Ace for mercy but apparently the people want to see Cole get beaten up. Oh and don’t call him Johnny.

We get a clip montage to summarize the Sheamus Must Apologize story.

Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler

Cole is back on commentary. Ziggler starts fast and tries to take Sheamus down by the knees. Sheamus tries three Regal Rolls but only the third one connects, getting two. Dolph low bridges him but Sheamus pulls him to the outside. Sheamus blocks a ram into the post but Ziggler jumps over the steps that he gets whipped into. After a Vickie distraction, Dolph dropkicks him back to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Ziggler kneeing Sheamus down and working on the shoulder that hit the post during the break. Ziggler works it over a bit more and takes Sheamus down for two. Ziggler goes up and after fighting off Sheamus, hits a top rope Fameasser for two. Sheamus shrugs off the sleeper, hits White Noise and ends Ziggler with the Brogue Kick at 9:09.

Rating: C. Well that uh….happened. It wasn’t bad and it wasn’t great, plus it didn’t really solve or prove anything. Ziggler looked fine, but he’s needing to get away from Vickie I think. There’s just nothing there for him anymore and he needs to move on and do something else. Sheamus having to come from behind like this is a good thing.

As Sheamus is on the stage Del Rio jumps him and with Ricardo’s help, puts him in the cross armbreaker.

Ace asks some schmuck for his coffee when Otunga comes up and says that Vince is returning next week to evaluate him. Ace seems surprised by this, despite saying earlier that everyone was going to be evaluated.

Sin Cara vs. Hunico

Cara speeds things up to start and spins Hunico around and out to the floor. Slingshow sunset flip is escaped and Hunico kicks him in the head for one. Butterfly backbreaker gets the same. Off to the chinlock for a second and Cara escapes the spinning rack slam into an armdrag. Cara kicks him out of the corner and hits a top rope rana to take over. Handspring elbow puts Hunico down and after taking out Camacho, the spinning mat slam gets the pin at 2:30.

Cena’s favorite Raw moment is being drafted to Raw 7 years ago tomorrow.

Stan Stansky/Arthur Rosenburg vs. Ryback

It’s the same thing you’ve seen time after time. This match features more throwing people around and a clothesline to both of them at once. The double MuscleBuster/Samoan Drop gets the pin at 1:55.

CM Punk vs. Kane

There must be a winner. Cole is on the phone begging to be let out of the match. Before Kane comes out, Bryan comes out and gets on the announce table for some questions and answers. Has AJ gone completely delusional since they broke up? Will Kane destroy Punk tonight? Will Bryan win the title in three weeks? Yes Yes Yes. Kane powers him around but Punk uses the kicks to knock Kane to the floor for the suicide dive.

Punk hits the top rope double ax to the floor and we head back inside. Kane comes back with a knee to the ribs for two to take over. He pounds on Punk with sledgehammer shots and a legdrop for two. Punk breaks out of a bodyscissors and fires away with strikes but Kane throws him into the corner and out to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Kane holding a chinlock and uppercutting Punk down. Side slam gets two. Kane goes for the top rope clothesline but Punk knees him down. Another knee sets up the bulldog for two. Springboard clothesline gets the same. GTS is broken up and Kane boots him down for two. Punk avoids the chokeslam and hits a neckbreaker to slow Kane down. Punk goes up but Kane uppercuts him.

The superplex is broken up and Kane is knocked back to the mat. Macho Elbow gets two and they go to the floor. Kane rams him into the table and with the referee distracted, Bryan fires off two kicks to the ribs. Chokeslam is countered by the High Kick and here comes AJ. She tells the referee what Bryan did so Bryan yells at her. Punk uses the distraction to dive onto Bryan, but he walks into the chokeslam for the pin at 13:49.

Rating: C+. I was digging this and I was really digging AJ in a cutoff Punk shirt and shorts. The ending works I guess but I’m curious as to where the whole AJ thing is going, which I guess is the idea. Kane being added into this would let Bryan get the title, but I’m not sure where they would go after that. Decent match though.

Post match Kane stares at AJ (as well as kicking Bryan down) and AJ smiles back at him before he leaves. Ok then.

AJ tells Josh she likes when men look at her. She pulls him by his tie and demands he look at her. AJ says he might be her type.

Cole begs Ace for mercy again.

Video on Big Show and all of the comedy stuff he’s done over the years and how he’s being serious now.

Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks

This is joined in progress with Hawkins vs. Kofi. The champs are all taped up because of last week. A jumping back elbow gets two for Kofi and it’s off to a hammerlock. Off to Truth who drops a leg on Hawkins’ arm before it’s off to Reks. Reks gets in a little offense but misses a shoulder. Off to Kofi for the Boom Drop on Hawkins but Trouble in Paradise only gets two because of Reks. Truth takes him out and the spin kick gets the pin on Hawkins at 4:02.

Rating: C-. It’s very clear that Kofi and Truth are pure filler and that’s about the best they’re going to get at this point. Then again having extra teams in there is a good thing, even if they are just Hawkins and Reks. The match wasn’t bad but with only a few minutes there’s only so muchthey can do out there.

HHH’s favorite Raw moment is him returning in 2002.

John Cena vs. Michael Cole

It’s 10:45 so this could mean a few things. Ace comes out and says that if Cena can beat this man, his match with Cole will be No DQ.

John Cena vs. Tensai

Yeah he’s not a Lord anymore. He’s also moving faster now which is good too. Cole of course cheers everything that Tensai does as the fans are mostly behind Cena. Cena comes back with a clothesline to send Tensai to the floor and Cole panics. Sakamoto gets in some kicks and Cena is down as we take a break. Back with Cena breaking out of a neck lock and hitting a middle rope bulldog for two.

Tensai takes him back down and it’s nerve hold time again. Cena gets knocked to the floor and Cole says he should just quit now. Cole slaps Cena and gets shoved down by Lawler as a result. Cena gets thrown into the steps and Cole rips into him for awhile. Back in and the butterfly suplex gets two. Backsplash misses and it’s shoulder block time. Protobomb sets up the Shiffle and Cole is very nervous. AA gets the clean pin at 9:04.

Rating: D+. Hopefully this sends Tensai back down to the midcard. The changes they’ve made to him have helped him a bit but at the end of the day he’s still Albert which means he can only be so good and so interesting. Cena beating him is the right call though because you can’t validate having him lose twice in a row to Tensai, especially not before a bit time PPV match.

John Cena vs. Michael Cole

It’s No DQ. Cole tries to run into the crowd twice but gets pulled back both times. Cena throws him into the ring and Cole says we don’t have to do it this way. He sucks up to Cena and then takes off his coat and tie, saying how he’s going to beat up Cena tonight. He pokes Cena in the chest and tells Cena to not forget his name. Cena rips the shirt open and chops him in the chest. There go Cole’s pants and Cena kicks him low.

He slaps Cole’s chest and back again before putting him in a chinlock. Cena demands an apology to Lawler about the Mania match which Cole gives immediately. Now Cole has to apologize to JR who Cole calls his idol. Cole has to admit his love for JR’s Barbecue Sauce. “It’s slobberknocker good!” Lawler just happens to have a few bottles of it with him and it gets poured over Cole.

Since it was hot, here’s a fire extinguisher to cool Cole off. There’s steam coming off Cole’s head. The AA gets loaded up but here’s Tensai with the Baldo Bomb. That gets two for Cole and he has a bit of a tantrum. Cole slaps Cena in the back of the head and yells a lot before charging with the fire extinguisher. AA counters that and gets the pin at roughly 11 minutes. I’m not rating this for obvious reasons but it did its job well enough.

Overall Rating: C-. It’s still not great but this was WAY better than last week’s show. Having less Big Show on this helped a lot and Cena being here at all certainly brought this one up a lot. The guy is just flat out entertaining and interesting which is more than most people on this roster can say. This helped me a lot with the build to No Way Out, and even with the iffy ending, I liked this about 200% more than last week’s show.

Results
Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler – Brogue Kick
Sin Cara b. Hunico – Spinning Mat Slam
Ryback b. Arthur Rosenburg/Stan Stansky – Double MuscleBuster
Kane b. CM Punk – Chokeslam
Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks – Trouble in Paradise to Hawkins
John Cena b. Tensai – Attitude Adjustment
John Cena b. Michael Cole – Attitude Adjustment

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NXT – May 30, 2012: Superstars II

NXT
Date: May 30, 2012
Location: Riverside Centroplex, Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Commentators: Josh Matthews, William Regal

Back to what has officially become the most boring show this side of Warriors of Wrestling. We’re hopefully wrapping this season up but getting there is really dragging, as there were zero stories last week as well as no promos at all. That’s a shame as the show was starting to get good up until that point. Let’s get to it.

To give you an idea of how much WWE.com cares about this show, their website says it’s up every Wednesday at 4pm EST. It’s currently 8:05pm EST and I have to watch this on Youtube because neither today’s show, nor last week’s show are currently on WWE.com’s NXT page.

Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks vs. Usos

It’s 8:19 and the show can now be found on WWE.com, if you look in the What’s Hot section instead of the NXT section. If I’m a TV company, I’d be curious as to why I should put a show on that they don’t even bother to put up on time. Anyway Jey and Reks get us going. Not much going on so far so Jey shouts to the crowd a little bit. Hawkins comes in and nothing goes anywhere now either. A quick chin/headlock by Jey goes nowhere so we head to the mat.

Off to Jimmy who armdrags Hawkins down and it’s back to Jey. A headbutt to the chest gets one and the Usos tag again. Regal explains what cutting the ring in half means, because a term like that needs an explanation apparently. Jey escapes a slam and hits a great superkick to put Hawkins down. Reks pulls Curt to the floor to avoid the Superfly Splash so the Usos dive onto both heels as we take a break.

Back with Jey holding a hammerlock on Hawkins on the mat. Jey loads up a superkick but Hawkins drops to the floor and suckers Jey in. Blind tag brings in Reks and the Usos lose control for the first time. Hawkins comes in with a kick to the back and a chinlock. Back to Reks who puts on something like a Tazmission.

Jey escapes and it’s off to Jimmy on a not very hot tag. A Bubba Bomb puts Reks down and the Umaga hip smash gets two. Hawkins interferes, allowing Reks to hit a Downward Spiral for two. Jey comes in with a Samoan Drop for two. Jimmy is sent to the floor and Reks/Hawkins hit a powerslam/neckbreaker combo to pin Jey at 10:59.

Rating: C. The match was pretty boring until the ending where things picked up in a hurry. That being said, we’ve seen these two teams fight more times than I can remember, which makes this a little less interesting. Also having no story to it hurts things, but the match was perfectly fine. More Usos please.

Tamina Snuka vs. Kaitlyn

Maxine is on commentary, which is literally the first continued story in two weeks. She’s fought them both before and this is due to last week’s Kaitlyn vs. Maxine match apparently. Kaitlyn takes her to the mat and hooks a bodyscissors and a rollup for two. Tamina takes her down as well and puts on a seated abdominal stretch. Maxine makes fun of Kaitlyn’s hair and Tamina changes to a chinlock. The crowd is surprisingly not completely dead here. Kaitlyn fights out and hits a bad cross body for two. Kaitlyn trips her up as they run the ropes and hooks a full nelson with her legs to make Tamina tap (with her foot) at 5:21.

Rating: D+. The match was pretty dull, but I’m digging this dueling submission story they’ve got going with Maxine and Kaitlyn. Also it’s amazing how far less unbearable the Divas are when they get some time to work out a match instead of hitting like three kicks, a missed charge and the finisher with a signature move thrown in. Imagine that: wrestling makes things better.

Raw ReBound is about Big Show, which is all that Monday’s show was about anyway.

Justin Gabriel/Derrick Bateman/Percy Watson vs. Michael McGillicutty/Johnny Curtis/JTG

Hey Justin is back. JTG still has the new attire and I still don’t want to see him ever again. Watson and JTG get us going Watson works on the arm but JTG speeds things up a bit. That’s cool with Watson as he runs over JTG and slams him down for two. Off to Justin who hooks an armdrag into an armbar. JTG gets him into the corner and it’s off to Curtis who takes over.

Gabriel channels his inner Steamboat and armdrags his way to freedom, taking Curtis to the mat. Off to Bateman who dropkicks Johnny down for two. He misses a charge though and McGillicutty stomps Bateman down in the corner. Everything breaks down and the faces stand tall as we take a break. Back with Michael putting Bateman in a chinlock and punching him in the face a few times.

Dropkick gets two on Bateman. Back to Curtis who has #letsgetweird on his trunks. If you really want to push Twitter that hard, you would think they could find a better billboard than Curtis. McGillicutty and Curtis tag two more times as I guess they won’t like JTG either. Curtis gives up the tag and it’s off to Watson. Watson cleans house but JTG low bridges him to send Percy crashing to the floor.

JTG pounds on Percy both in and out of the ring, getting two in the former. Off to the chinlock again and then back to Curtis. Elbow to the face gets two. Watson hits a belly to belly out of nowhere and makes the tag to Justin. JTG comes in at the same time and things speed up. Gabriel hits a blue Thunder Bomb for two and everything breaks down. Bateman dives on McGillicutty and Curtis while Gabriel hits a jumping tornado DDT for the pin at 12:13.

Rating: C+. This was pretty good but it came and went. You had three good guys, you had three bad guys, you had twelve minutes, and the good guys won. It was pretty entertaining though and that’s really all you can ask for on NXT in this weird kind of limbo period they’re in at the moment.

Overall Rating: C+. Like I said in the main event, you really can’t ask for more than about 45 minutes of entertaining matches from Superstars II anymore. Regal’s position as matchmaker is never mentioned anymore, the attacks in the back are never mentioned anymore, and the Hawkins/Reks being security is never mentioned anymore. I know I’m in the small minority here, but I kind of wanted to see where those things were going. I’ve spent a year on this already and I’d like to see some resolution to those stories. This was entertaining at least though.

Results
Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks b. The Usos – Powerslam/Neckbreaker combination to Jey Uso
Kaitlyn b. Tamina Snuka – Full Nelson with Legs
Justin Gabriel/Derrick Bateman/Percy Watson b. JTG/Johnny Curtis/Michael McGillicutty – Tornado DDT to JTG

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Randy Orton Suspended For 60 Days By WWE Due To Wellness Violation

http://www.wwe.com/inside/randy-orton-suspended-for-60-days

This might be a good thing for him. he needs to freshen up a bit. This is his second violation.

Thoughts?