Smackdown
Date: March 11, 2011
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

Off the top of my head there’s nothing that I know of to expect here.  I think we get Christian vs. Del Rio but I’m not entirely sure.  The show last week was a lot better than the previous ones so hopefully they can continue that mini streak that they’re on.  Also I’d expect more from HHH vs. Taker tonight so that should be good.  Let’s get to it.

Yes I do know my enemies: the people that picked the cast of NXT Season 5.

HHH is on Smackdown for the first time in over a year to respond to Undertaker.

Here’s Edge to a BIG pop.  At least I think it is.  His music sounds like cheering at first.  We recap the contract signing from last week.  Teddy hoping it could go well just once was funny.  Christian made the save.  Edge says a busted nose isn’t going to stop him from getting to Del Rio at Wrestlemania.  Tonight he wants a fight, not a match, and he’s demanding Alberto come out here right now.

Cue Alberto and Brodus with the boss looking all ticked off.  No car for this entrance at least.  Alberto asks if Edge knows who Alberto is.  Edge says Alberto is the Ricky Martin look-a-like trying to reform Menudo with King Hippo over there.  Funny line but in a serious manner.  Albert says he’s going to replace Edge’s legacy with Alberto’s destiny.  Edge says he doesn’t think so and jumps both of them but Brodus gets in a shot and the beatdown is on.

Edge’s shoulder goes into the post and here’s Christian for the save again.  Christian and Brodus are very good additions to this feud as you can only have Alberto and Edge talk to each other and brawl so many times.  With the non-Canadians dominating Teddy Long is here, making the obvious tag team main event.  For some reason this is historic.  I’m not sure why but that’s just what you say in wrestling.

Cole says that he’s a pop icon, not just an announcer.  Tonight he has the “interview of the year” with Cena.

Kane vs. Wade Barrett

We get a recap of the Corre vs. Big Show with Kane getting involved in said feud last week.  Barrett says Kane has made some mistakes, including not accepting what Corre did for him recently.  Barrett calls Kane a great big chemical experiment mistake.  Barrett goes right for him and takes over to start us off.  Kane fires back and it’s a brawl in the early going.

And never mind as Corre is here 42 seconds in.  Big Show comes out with a chair for the save and we take a break.

Big Show/Kane vs. Heath Slater/Wade Barrett

This is in progress when we get back as Show beats up Slater.  Off to Barrett now who gets beaten down also.  Show chops away at him in the corner and adds a clothesline.  Chokeslam misses though and Barrett goes after the knee.  He stomps Show down and it’s off to Slater.  How did Barrett go from the biggest heel in the company to this in just a few months?

Slater chokes away and Booker doesn’t seem that worried about Show.  Apparently the champion should be listened to as Show gets up and drops Slater on his back to break it up.  Lukewarm tag to Kane who destroys Slater and takes down Barrett also.  Big boot sets up the call for the chokeslam but Corre comes in AGAIN and it’s another DQ at 3:20.

Rating: D+. This was more or less a squash for the whole match.  Show and Kane were never in any real danger as all Barrett was doing to Show was stomping him.  I’m still waiting on Corre to actually do something of note (the tag titles haven’t been noteworthy in forever) and I think I’m waiting in vain.

Big beatdown follows until Show grabs a chair.  Down goes everyone in Corre as Show stands very tall.  And then he takes the chair and cracks Kane over the back with it as payback for last week.

Rey is up next.

Scratch that as instead we’re going to waste about 10 minutes on the Austin/JBL/Cole segment first.  Again, couldn’t we use this time on a wrestling show for, like, wrestling?

Back with Cole comparing that night to being a war correspondent.  That’s almost like comparing 9/11 to a steroids trial.  Wait….

Now Cody is up next?  Was Rey just forgotten or something?

Cody Rhodes vs. JTG

Cody is in a suit here.  Well at least he took the jacket and tie off.  JTG, the NXT pro mind you, doesn’t even get an introduction.  We get a clip of Dusty helping his son jump Rey a few weeks ago.  Dusty telling his boy to apologize is kind of funny.  Apparently Cody doesn’t want to be called Dashing anymore.  Cody jumps him to start and hammers away as we get a Texas Outlaws reference.  He hits JTG in the face with a headbutt complete with the loaded mask and then Cross Rhodes ends it in 53 seconds, somehow the second longest match tonight so far.

We waste another 4 minutes or so by showing the HBK thing from Raw where he talks about HHH.  That marks about 14 minutes of this show dedicated to just showing stuff from Raw again, or roughly 1/8 of the total time of the show including commercials.  Great job guys.

Here’s another Raw guy, this time John Cena, for an interview with Michael Cole.  First up, another minute long clip added on from Raw, this time of Miz jumping Cena to end the show.  Cena sends Cole back to the announce table and addresses Miz.  He says he’s done with wasting his time with BS and if Miz wants to make a statement and be the face of the WWE, then Cena’s new goal is breaking the face of the WWE.

Cena gets ready to leave but Cole says he isn’t done yet.  Cole says Cena is underestimating Miz as Miz shut Cole up Monday.  This prompts Cena to rip his shirt off and cue Swagger for the save.  He gets Cena in the ankle lock but winds up taking an FU for his troubles.

Sin Cara video, which is still awesome.

Kaitlyn vs. Layla

Kaitlyn is from Houston and therefore a hometown girl.  Booker says quack, quack for some reason.  Are the girls are animals now according to commentators?  Kaitlyn dominates to start as Layla wants help from Michelle.  McCool distracts and Layla gets a kick and the Layout Neckbreaker to end this at 54 seconds.  Have we warped back to Superstars in the 80s and I wasn’t told???

McCool knees Kaitlyn in the back of the head post match.

Rey Mysterio vs. Drew McIntyre

The bell rings and Drew kicks Rey’s head off.  All Drew to start as he uses size and power to take over.  He shouts that Rey isn’t going to Wrestlemania as we hit a modified bow and arrow.  Rey fights up and tries the 619 but we head to the floor.  They fight on the apron with Drew shoving him into the post and adding a backbreaker onto the apron which I’ve never seen before.

Back from a break with a modified surfboard on Rey.  Drew continues his dominance by sending Rey into the buckle chest first for two.  He sets for the Futureshock off the top but Rey knocks Drew down for a seated senton.  He tries a rotating cross body but Drew ducks for two.  Drew charges into the post shoulder first and Rey hits the 619 and the top rope splash to end this at 4:30 shown of 8:00.

Rating: C+. Pretty basic match here as the whole idea was about Drew trying to impress people to get a shot at Mania.  This wasn’t a squash as Drew controlled for the most part but I don’t think anyone really thought Rey was in any real trouble.  It does help however that this got a bit of time (yes on Smackdown 8 minutes is now considered time) and Drew got to look decent.

Post match Cody comes out and wants an answer to his challenge.  Rey says he wears the mask with pride and will wear it with pride at Wrestlemania when he beats down Cody Rhodes.  So the match is official.

Here’s HHH to respond to what Undertaker said on Raw.  What you’re not going to show us that too?  Ah instead we get a video on HHH, reminding us of how awesome he is.  Why do I have a feeling this was laying around the office just waiting on a chance to be aired?  He talks about how he saw the two greatest matches he’s ever seen in the last two Wrestlemanias between Undertaker and Shawn Michaels.

The question is why couldn’t Shawn win?  Shawn said on Raw that it was because of emotion.  Shawn went to the ring to not lose rather than win.  HHH’s dark side is going to keep him from having to worry about that.  He can do terrible things to people and not care.  That sounds like a horrible person but it’s true.  HHH says he’ll beat Taker at Wrestlemania because he’ll have no emotion or care about what stands before him.  Things that go bump in the night don’t scare him.  Please, not another “I’m not afraid of the dark” promos.  He thanks Taker for making it no holds barred and we’re done.

Christian is getting ready and Matt Striker asks him what it’s like to have Edge and Christian back together again.  Christian talks about all the things that have happened in the last ten years, listing things like Facebook, Twitter (Christian4Peeps apparently), Charlie Sheen losing his mind and about 15 other things, but we’ve never seen E and C back together.  Tonight we do.  Edge pops up to say nothing of note.

Edge/Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio/Brodus Clay

It’s a Ferrari tonight.  No entrance for Brodus but he gets his name read by Ricardo.  Christian vs. Brodus gets us going here.  Christian sticks and moves while firing a lot of right hands.  A corner splash misses and Christian wants the tornado DDT.  Alberto distracts though and it’s a suplex off the top for Brodus to give him control.  Alberto rams Christian into the railing outside but Edge chases him off.

Off to Del Rio as Edge hasn’t been in yet.  He starts in on Christian’s arm and drops a knee to the back for two.  The elbow pad gets ripped off and Christian is in trouble.  To the corner they go and Christian is able to knock him backwards and get a jumping back elbow off the middle rope to get us to even.  Tag in to Edge and Brodus at the same time with Brodus landing a powerslam on Edge for two.

He’s Big Bad Brodus Clay according to Cole.  Booker gets way too excited as usual as Edge gets up to set for the spear.  Instead Brodus flattens him but misses an Umaga-like charge in the corner.  Christian and Del Rio are sent to the floor.  Christian pops back up and hits the tornado DDT so that Edge can drop a top rope elbow on Clay for the pin at 5:53.  Never seen Edge use that before but if it’s a change from the spear I’ll take it.

Rating: C. Just your normal run of the mill main event tag match here.  There was more or less no way Edge and Christian were going to reunite for the first time in forever and lose so it’s not like the ending was ever in doubt.  Still though, this is good as it changes things up a bit, keeping us from having to sit through the same stuff time after time until Mania.

Overall Rating: C+. This is another odd show as the wrestling is incredibly light but a lot of stuff happened.  I can live with the lighter wrestling as they moved some stuff forward and got us a bit more ready for Mania.  This was a good show but with more wrestling and less Raw stuff it could have been a lot better.  I really hope this isn’t the new norm after Mania, because that would be very saddening.

Results

Kane b. Wade Barrett via DQ when the Corre interfered

Kane/Big Show b. Wade Barrett/Heath Slater via DQ when Corre interfered

Cody Rhodes b. JTG – Cross Rhodes

Layla b. Kaitlyn – Layout

Rey Mysterio b. Drew McIntyre – Top rope splash

Edge/Christian b. Alberto Del Rio/Brodus Clay – Top rope elbow to Clay

NXT
Date: March 8, 2011
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal

This is the debut of Season Five of NXT.  There has been no cast or Pros or anything like that announced yet.  All we know is that Maryse is going to be the host which was revealed/announced earlier today.  The rumor for this season was that it would be Legends with their children for this season which could be good for the older fans.  If that’s not the case I’ll edit this out.  Let’s get to it.

As the show opens you see the word “Redemption” everywhere.  Oh I have a bad feeling about this.

William Regal is now a commentator.

Striker and Maryse are now the hosts.  She introduces the Rookies.

Darren Young.  Oh dang it I was afraid of this.

Conor O’Brian

Lucky Cannon (with a big feathery robe)

Byron Saxton

Jacob Novak

Titus O’Neal

That’s it.  I have to watch these guys AGAIN?  The winner of this gets to be on NXT Season 6.  What the heck?  There’s no immunity but rather redemption points which make no sense but sounds like exactly the same thing.  Here are the Pros.

Darren Young gets Chavo Guerrero.  Chavo says Darren is good in the ring but he needs to be more aggressive.  Guerrero wants Young to get noticed.

O’Brian gets Vladimir Kozlov.  This isn’t going to go well.  He says some stuff no one can understand.

Lucky Cannon has Tyson Kidd.  What the heck are they thinking here?  Has Kidd actually won a match in the last two months?  Cannon, who is the reigning FCW Champion and a heel now, needs to be meaner.

Saxton gets Yoshi freaking Tatsu, who is in a suit.  Grisham points out the international flavor of this season.  Tatsu says Saxton needs to relax.

Novak the Worthless gets JTG.  Oh I give up.

Titus O’Neil gets Hornswoggle.  I didn’t listen to his promo/speech as I was writing up my resignation.

Novak vs. Young is up next.

Darren Young vs. Jacob Novak

Young has a haircut at least now.  They head to the floor which might have been an accident.  We hit the ropes a few times and Young gets a forearm to take him down.   Regal is a natural on commentary.  Novak with a clothesline in the corner for two so we hit the chinlock.  Young fights back which gets him nowhere for the most part as Novak hits yet another clothesline to take over.  Young hits that spinning full nelson slam to end this at 3:30.

Rating: D+. This was dull again.  Neither of these guys has anything that makes me want to watch them and I feel like I’m watching some weak indy match.  Novak continues to redefine what it means to be worthless.  Young is decent enough but again he’s not someone I would ever stop to watch.

Yoshi talks to Maryse in the back, saying she’ll be a great host.  He has something to tell her but Saxton comes up and says he’d love to talk strategy with his Pro.  She leaves and Tatsu says Saxton’s timing is no good.

Raw ReBound, which recaps the previous week’s show as Rock pretends to be a rapper.  Now we get part of Cena’s “Knockout” last night which was nowhere near his one from two weeks ago.  I still like Cena’s stuff better than Rock’s in this feud.  The aspect about Rock being in the arena once is really all the ammo Cena needs.  We also get Miz’s run in to end the show which was better than anything else in the last segment.  Thankfully this is actually a recap and not just reairing the whole thing.

Conor O’Brian talks about hiding behind a persona last season.  He talks about being poor growing up.  Why does it seem that every wrestler went through torture growing up?

There’s a Boot Camp Obstacle Course up next.

More on the Chaperone.  If I ever want to end myself it’ll be with a marathon of Legendary, Knucklehead and Chaperone.

Snooki is coming to Raw.  Dang it all.  WWE you continue to tick me off.

We do a Boot Camp Obstacle Course and first off my jaw drops at Maryse in camouflage.  I’m not a fan of her but good freaking grief she looks great here.

Titus goes first.  The course is jumping a wall, going under a net on the ground kind of thing, a balance beam, weaving through some polls and picking up a bag to carry across the finish line.  Titus gets 29.8.

Novak shatters it with 24 seconds.  There’s nothing to say here for the most part.

Saxton gets a time of 26.5.

Lucky Cannon in the pink tights, stops to say he won’t be a circus monkey this season because it’s all about him.

Conor is 5^th and gets a time of 27.1.  He stumbled at the beginning which hurt him a lot.

Young goes last and is FLYING.  He wins it with a time of 23 seconds, good for 3 Redemption Points which I’m not sure I understand.  Granted that might be because I thought they were different than Immunity Points.

We reair the majority of the Cole/JBL/Austin thing because these guys can’t have matches right?  Cole on commentary here is still absolutely awesome.  This eats up 8 minutes.

HHH will be on Smackdown.  Also Christian vs. Alberto.

Saxton says he’ll take less for granted because it’s his last chance.

Lucky Cannon vs. Titus O’Neil

After about a minute of jokes about the robe we’re ready to go.  Titus hammers him away in the corner but gets sent outside for his efforts.  And there goes the feed.  Hey tonight isn’t a total loss!  Ah there it is and Cannon has a chinlock.  Regal says Finlay is the best ever from his part of the world.  Cannon is a total heel here but the name is going to hold him back.  Titus gets a belly to back to escape from a headlock.  Titus uses his power but gets taken down.  Horny distracts Tyson and assists Titus to hit a Sky High (D’Lo’s old finisher) powerbomb to end this at 2:57.  Too short to grade but nothing of note.  This ends the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was just like any other episode of this show, as in nothing special at all.  I have more or less zero desire to watch this season as the biggest named pro is Chavo, the best guy in the group is I guess Young, there’s the stupid Redemption thing and this is to get on the next season of NXT rather than an actual prize, meaning someone will be on three seasons of the show by the end of next season.  It’s going to be a long Spring.

Results

Darren Young b. Jacob Novak – Release Full Nelson Slam

Darren Young won the Boot Camp Obstacle Course

Titus O’Neil b. Lucky Cannon – Sitout Powerbomb

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 7, 2011
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 16,744
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

After last week’s wrestling light show tonight we’re supposed to get Cena’s response to Rock which he says will be a final knockout.  With Mania more or less set all we have to do for the most part is finish the build to it.  There are four Raws left before then and hopefully they’re better than last week’s.  Austin is here tonight too which should help some.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from last week of HHH talking about how his only remaining challenge is the Streak and ending it.

In the arena Taker comes to the ring complete with Johnny Cash music.  He talks about how people have been talking about how the Streak ends this year due to Father Time.  Or maybe it’s due to the Game, the King of Kings, Triple H.  Taker says that only one can be the Last Outlaw.  He shows us a highlight reel of the last two Mania matches, showing what happens to people that try to end his Streak.  The match at Mania is no holds barred apparently, and at Wrestlemania, HHH will Rest in Peace.

After telling us about Austin being here tonight we see Orton fighting off someone in the back.  It’s Otunga and Orton is double teamed by Otunga and Ryan.  Punk comes up and says McGillicutty is on the shelf.  Punk gets in his face and slams his head into what looks like a metal wall or cabinet.  GTS to Orton and Punk tells the two guys to take him to the ring as we go to a break.

Back with Nexus beating on Orton and then Otunga saying he’s ready for his match.  Randy says ring the bell.

Randy Orton vs. David Otunga

Otunga is in control quickly due to Orton being very weakened.  He pounds away and adds a slam for two.  Otunga gets his spinebuster for two which more or less seals the fate of the ending here.  He picks Orton up again and there’s the RKO to end it at 2:00.  Exactly what you would expect here.

Post match Ryan runs out after being thrown out pre-match and kicks Orton’s head off.  Orton fights him off and hits an RKO to leave him laying.  Punk comes out for the staredown while staying outside.  Orton snaps to attention and runs to the other side of the ring, punting Otunga as he gets up.  He did it so fast it was kind of hard to tell actually.  Replay shots the Punt looking great too.

Cole reveals his guest referee tonight.

Miz isn’t here tonight due to a lack of recognition.  That’s very true actually as it’s been about Rock vs. Cena.

Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio

Is there a reason this is on Raw and not on Smackdown?  Albert has Brodus Clay with his which is always a good thing.  Brodus has a mic with him so I might as well get this ready now.

Christian vs. Brodus Clay

Alberto says they’re going to fight but not tonight.  First off he has to beat Brodus Clay.  Yep I was right.  Clay takes him down almost immediately but Christian reverses a slam attempt.  Unprettier doesn’t work at all and Brodus takes over with raw power.  That would be opposed to Smackdown power of course.

He locks in an armbar which is very logical here.  There’s that T-Bone suplex but a splash misses.  A pair of dropkicks takes Brodus down for two.  Christian reverses a powerslam and a Tornado DDT gets the Canadian the win at 2:45.  Too short to grade but this was a good power vs. speed match which is the best kind of match.

Del Rio puts Christian in the Cross Armbreaker post match.

Package on Sin Cara.  They’re making him out to look like a big deal which is a good sign.

The newest Hall of Fane inductee (along with Michaels, Duggan and Bullet Bob Armstrong) is Sunny.  Oh yes this should be happening.  She’s the original Diva and belongs in the Hall of Fame.  Not a bit of sarcasm in there.

Women’s Title: Eve Torres vs. Nikki Bella

The bell is after the break.  Gail Kim is here with Eve.  Eve starts all fired up and hammers away on Nikki including a bicycle kick.  Cole talks about going to be on New Year’s Eve and waking up on Christmas morning.  That’s how he feels about introducing his referee tonight.  Cole literally gets up on the table and grabs a mic, saying we need to end this because he wants to announce his referee.  Eve uses the bottom rope as a springboard to get an enziguri.  Twin Magic gets caught and a spinning neckbreaker gives eve the win at 3:12.

Rating: C. Even with the Cole stuff in there the whole time this wasn’t bad for the most part.  Eve dominated and thankfully they didn’t manage to make things look stupid with the Twin Magic getting by again.  It makes the referee and wrestlers look stupid so I’m glad it failed here.  Decent match here and pretty good for the most part.  Should be interesting to see where it goes from here too.

Snooki of Jersey Shore will be Guest Star next week.  Dang it all.

It’s time for Cole to introduce his referee.  He has a contract and whoever signs said contract will be the referee.  If that’s not a way to cause some issues I don’t know what is.  Cole talks about how he’s been a fan of this guy for years and how he’s a guy that’s going to call the show right down the middle.  The referee Cole has picked is a legendary Texan and the fans want to cheer him so let’s start the chant: AUSTIN! AUSTIN! AUSTIN!  Cole says he fooled us because the referee is none other than JBL!

JBL talks about how Texas is a failure now with no championships in a long time.  Bradshaw looks slim here.  He talks about how until now no one has ever debuted in the main event, so I guess Lawrence Taylor and Mr. T. no longer exist.  He says that he’ll be an impartial referee and will return to the main event.

CUE GLASS SHATTER just before JBL can sign the contract.  Cole hides behind JBL so it’s a Stunner from him.  Time to drink some beer!  Cole sounds like he’s about to cry on commentary.  Austin looks down at the contract and up at the Mania sign.  With Cole crying that Austin ruined his night, Austin signs the contract and is the referee.  Austin goes out to Cole and shakes his hand before pouring beer on his head.  Cole leaves with one of the funniest looks on his face that you’ll ever see.  JBL gets another Stunner.  Hilarious segment with Cole cracking me up the whole time.

Back and Swagger says he’ll break Austin’s ankle.

Jerry takes over on commentary.

Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus

Sheamus charges to start but gets taken down and to the floor by Bryan where Sheamus seems to have hurt his ankle.  That actually gets a countout at 1:11.  Uh, ok?  Sheamus grabs a mic and says he’s on a losing streak but he’ll end that next week by becoming US Champion.  He challenges Bryan and says if he loses he’ll quit.

HBK will speak again later.

R-Truth vs. CM Punk

Truth grabs a rollup almost immediately for two.  Punk sends him shoulder first into the post twice and make it three times.  Truth tries to fight back and manages to escape the GTS.  A Rock Bottom and the Anaconda Vice (the real one, not some random hold that is called the Anaconda Vice) ends this at 2:35.  Total squash so no rating.

Shawn talks some more about HHH vs. Taker.  He talks about how HHH can do a lot and can go straight evil at times, taking emotion out of the equation.  Evil isn’t an emotion but rather a way of life I guess so that makes sense.

Vickie Guerrero comes out and we take a break.

Snooki is still coming next week.  I was hoping that was a nightmare but it seems not to be.

Vickie is here and Ziggler is rehired on Raw.  No real shock there.

John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler

Vickie is on commentary here and apparently she isn’t dating Dolph anymore.  Dolph dropkicks Morrison to the floor where he holds his knee as we take a break.  Back with Dolph in control but Morrison makes a bit of a comeback, even hitting the Moonlight Drive.  That more or less ends the comeback though as Ziggler hits the Zig Zag for the win at about 2:00 shown of 5:30.

Rating: D+. Can’t grade this fairly but it wasn’t much of a match.  Ziggler needed a win on his first match on the show so I can’t really complain much here.  Not much going on here as most of it was commercial.

E-Mail says that Dolph is hired, not Vickie.  She’s a polarizing figure but she can have a job if she beats Trish Stratus next week.  Security comes and takes her away.

We get the third clip of Rock’s promo last week.  Cena’s reply is next.

But first, a look at The Chaperone!

After a final piece of Rock’s promo, here’s Cena to deliver the Final Knockout.  Apparently he struck a nerve with Rock last week and Rock calls him various kinds of breakfast cereals.  Cena likes the schtick but apparently Rock doesn’t like rap.  So tonight, Cena will do it in hip hop.  I’ve always wanted to know what the difference is so this should be educational.  He talks about how Rock was reading off a teleprompter last week and how the only thing Rock is beating is himself.   Cena was here last week unlike Rock.  Rock is a disgrace and needs to just show up.  He says he’ll give Rock a pearl necklace, which he produces from his pocket.   Cena has another pocket, this time with Rock’s new shirt in it.  “I Bring It Via Satellite!”  That was good.  Cena says not to call him out again because that’s bringing a knife to a gun fight.

Cena turns around and walks into a belt shot from Miz who leaves him laying.  It’s aboutt ime Miz gets involved like this.  He’s been left out in the cold which makes me think there’s no title change coming at Mania.  Cena staggers up and takes another shot.  Miz says he’s tired of being disrespected and every time Rock and Cena go at it, Miz leaves Cena laying.  Miz: “The Rock, John Cena, Randy Savage and Liz.  Steve Austin and Bret Hart, they’re nothing compared to The Miz.”  Those might not be the right names but it’s the right rhyme.  Miz looks into the camera and tells Rock he’s the star of Mania.  He says he’ll take Rock’s glasses, his catchphrases, his father and his grandfather and shove them in Rock.  Skull Crushing Finale to Cena and a People’s Elbow ends the show.

Overall Rating: B+. This was much better than last week.  There was an energy here and a lot happened on this show.  Knowing that next week we get a Trish match as well as potentially more Austin and Rock and JBL, this worked rather well.  Mania is taking shape and it’s very fun to see the people that come out of the woodwork for the build to this show.  This is a show where the wrestling being light is an exception when they pack so much stuff in as almost everything had a point and wasn’t rehashing already established stuff.  Good show and I’m looking forward to next week, which wasn’t the case 7 days ago.

Smackdown
Date: March 4, 2011
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Booker T, Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

Well it’s another week closer to Wrestlemania and we’re coming off a kind of lackluster show last week.  However, we don’t have Vickie around anymore so I guess our ears will be in better shape now.  Tonight we have the official contract signing for Edge vs. Alberto and the approximately 100^th return on Smackdown of Undertaker.  There’s probably a DVD worth of them and I’m not exaggerating.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the events of last week that led to Vickie being fired.  She’s coming back isn’t she?

Edge and Alberto sign the contract tonight.

Theme song opens us up.

Here’s Edge whose left arm is taped up.  He talks about wanting to be able to look into Alberto’s eyes so Alberto can see what it takes to main event Wrestlemania.  Also he has a bone to pick with Alberto, as last week he was trying to say goodbye to Vickie but Alberto interrupted.  Edge wants to finish singing goodbye to Vickie though.  Drew McIntyre runs out though and is almost instantly sent to the floor.

Cue Teddy who wants to thank Drew.  He also wants to thank the fans around the world (assuming that was a misspeak) because they owe Drew a debt of gratitude because thanks to him, Vickie is gone.  Drew vs. Edge is made for right now.  Well right after the break and a thank you Drew chant led by Edge.

Drew McIntyre vs. Edge

Drew works on the arm to start as makes perfect sense.  Nice to see the show opening more or less with wrestling for once.  Edge tries to speed things up but gets caught in the face by a big boot and we go to the floor.  It’s been more or less all Drew in the first three minutes or so which has been about 80% arm work.  Drew says he’s going to end Edge’s career and then gets two in the ring.

There goes the arm tape and we hit the armbar again.  Hot crowd tonight as they chant for Edge.  Edge hits the floor and takes off his elbow pad.  We’re 30 days away from Wrestlemania.  That brings a smile to my face.  I love this time of year and we’re getting a pretty decent build to the show.  Edge plays possum on the floor and gets a backdrop to shift the momentum.

Back in and Edge gets a top rope cross body for two.  Booker completely ignores Josh’s questions about what Booker thinks of Edge’s arm injury.  Out of NOWHERE Edge hits the spear for…two as he picks Drew up.  Instead he throws on the Edgecator (the kneeling half Sharpshooter since he doesn’t use it that often) for the tap out at 5:15.  During the post match stuff Cole says it was a new move to Edge’s arsenal.  Considering it has a name I think that would be incorrect.

Rating: C+. Just a quick opener here but they had some psychology in there from Drew as he went after an injured body part.  I’m not entirely sure I get why Drew ran in to Vickie’s defense as I know he was defending her last week but I didn’t think they were best friends or something.  Fine for a quick opener and it added something to Edge as he apparently has a “new” finisher.

Show vs. Kane later.

Cole brings up his match with Lawler but apparently he’s not talking about that right now.

Here’s Rey….in a suit?  Cole says he’s back.  He was there last week so I guess everyone is back this week.  He also grew about 8 inches.  If you didn’t get that it’s not Rey but rather Cody Rhodes as the music changes and the mirror pops up on the screen.  We see a clip of the Rhodes’ beatdown from last week on the real Rey which really was good stuff.

Cody says don’t look at him.  Maybe the whole coming out in a Rey mask with loud rap music and fireworks before switching over to another song which would confuse the fans and then standing in the middle of a ring in the middle of the arena while talking and with a microphone amplifying your voice is causing them to look at you?  Anyway, Cody talks about wanting to get revenge on Rey, giving him just a fraction of the damage that Rey gave to Cody.  He challenges Rey for Mania and promises and promises to expose Rey’s face on the grandest stage of all.

In the back Corre comes up to talk to Kane.  They say that they helped Kane get the biggest victory of his career.  Tonight they want him to beat Show.  I’m assuming foreshadowing here?

Tag titles on the line next.

Tag Titles: Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel vs. Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov

Ok, PLEASE let this be the last match between these teams.  Is there a reason why a Raw (complete with name graphic) team is challenging on Smackdown when the tag champions can compete on both shows?  Santino and Gabriel start us off with Gabriel scaring Santino back with kicks and Santino scaring Gabriel back with the threat of the Cobra.  Santino gets the first offense in with a slam.

Booker still doesn’t like Jackson and still thinks he’s a thug.  Off to Kozlov as Booker intentionally ignores Cole.  Cobra puts Gabriel on the floor as we take a break.  Back with the Russian holding Slater in a headlock on the mat.  Slates goes for the knee and down goes Kozlov.  Barrett sneaks in a shot and Booker isn’t happy.  Off to Gabriel and we get a Santino chant.

Cravate by Gabriel as Cole brings up some cheating moments from Booker’s career.  Booker says “My career is….” and he’s cut off by having to stop to call the match.  I didn’t think he had retired or anything officially so that could have been interesting.  Anyway Kozlov takes Slater down and it’s off to Santino.  He gets his usual offense on Slater and hits the salute headbutt for two.  Everything breaks down and Santino loads up the Cobra.  He takes Barrett down with it but Slater hits a reverse DDT to retain at 4:06 shown of 7:36.

Rating: C-. Ok, we get it: Corre can beat Santino and Kozlov.  Now give us something else with these teams.  This would be a good chance to start rebuilding the tag division with some random teams facing Corre but that’s not going to happen.  Nothing special at all here and more of the same stuff we’ve seen a half dozen times with these guys.

Christian is back next week.  No word on if that’s in the ring or not.  At the same time we recap his injury and return at the PPV.  No mention of him at the Slammys which was hilarious.

Alberto and Ricardo are in the back and Alberto says he almost captured his essence.  That’s all there is to this segment.  No idea what the point of that was.

Time to talk about Taker vs. HHH and by that I mean show the HHH promo from Raw in its entirety.  You know, you could get A LOT more wrestling on the two shows not named Raw if you stopped airing five minutes worth of talking from Raw on them.  This would have been a far better promo if they hadn’t fought already at Wrestlemania in a good match.

Here comes Taker to the Johnny Cash song.  I’d really rather hear the organ music for him as it just fits better.  Cash is awesome but at the same time it just doesn’t seem right for someone like Taker.  Taker is actually kind of moving to get down to the ring.  I almost couldn’t finish marinating the turkey I cooked while he was coming down.  At least the song fits the character so that helps.

Taker talks about how surprising he finds it that the greatest of the great don’t know when to leave well enough alone.  There are some things that just can’t be done.  There are mountains that can’t be climbed, seas that can’t be crossed, and Streaks that can’t be broken.  He agrees with a lot of what HHH said as they’re the last of a dying breed and the last of an era.  Taker thinks that HHH is the greatest world champion over the last fifteen years.  That’s covering a lot of ground there Deadman.

HHH claims to have found the way to get rid of the Undertaker: beat him at Wrestlemania.  That’s easier said than done though.  If HHH can do it, he will be the Game and the King of Kings.  But if he loses, he will become nothing more than a number and a name on a list.  You mean like he already is?

Taker plays no game and bows down to no man, especially the king of kings.  At Wrestlemania, HHH will find out that Undertaker is the Last Outlaw.  That’s the new name I guess.  HHH will also find out what it means to Rest in Peace.  This was more like Mark Calloway playing Undertaker rather than Undertaker if that makes sense.

We see a clip from the Sin Cara/Mistico contract signing.  That’s another step for WWE in their international push.  Having lots of guys of different nationalities worked in the 60s and 70s so why not here?

Rosa Mendes/Beth Phoenix vs. Laycool

I guess the foot is ok.  During Laycool’s entrance Cole goes on a rant against journalism and the internet for overplaying the problems Laycool has been having.  Beth and Michelle start but it’s off to Rosa and Layla very quickly.  Booker mentions that Laycool is like Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie.  Last week I thought Michelle was starting to seem a lot like Hilton so maybe I was onto something.

Off to Beth vs. Layla now with Beth dominating her.  Beth completely destroys her of course and a powerslam gets two.  Michelle gets a big boot to the head of Beth for the pin at 2:20.  There’s a possibility that the boot is loaded.  I guess the Laycool problems are put of hold for a week which might be a good thing at the moment.  No rating as again this was short but the Smackdown Divas are so far ahead of the Raw Divas it’s unreal.

Big Show vs. Kane

Remember that Corre talked to Kane earlier tonight so they might get involved here.  They also show the clip from last week with Show running Corre off with a chair.  This is match #847 or so between these two.  Show backs him into the corner but gets drilled in the chin for his niceness.  K-Mart is sponsoring the live tours now.  K-Mart still exists?  There used to be like 4 here in Lexington and now there is one and no one goes there.  Double clothesline makes it seem like it’s time for a break but here comes Corre with a chair.  Barrett slides it to Kane and it’s a DQ at 1:16.

Kane cracks Show with it and Corre comes in for the beatdown.  Then Kane cracks Gabriel with it and runs off Corre with the chair.  Huh?

We hear Shawn’s thoughts on HHH vs. Taker where he still doesn’t really say anything.

Here’s Jack Swagger.  Basically this is to push Cole as Swagger’s student.  There’s a Team Cole now.  Better than Team Edward.  Cole says that on Monday we’re going to find out who the referee is.  The referee is awesome and one of the best of all time.  Also, the referee, Swagger, Cole and LeBron James think Cleveland stinks.

Jack Swagger vs. JTG

This starts after a break.  Cole goes on a huge rant, explaining how Swagger has been teaching him.  Swagger massacres JTG, hitting two Vader Bombs seconds in and the ankle lock ends this in 1:03.  I think Cole’s entire speech was one long sentence.

Since it’s been a full five minutes since we talked about Raw, here’s a recap of Rock’s promo on Raw.  This one is thankfully cut down.

Edge defaces a painting of Alberto and leaves it in the back.  Ok then.

Time for the contract signing with Teddy moderating things I guess.  I love that smirk on Alberto.  I’ve seen him live and you can tell he’s having a blast.  Why does Alberto keep paying Ricardo if he introduces himself a minute later?  Ricardo starts singing the Mexican national anthem but here’s Edge to save our ears.  Teddy wants to know if we can have a contract signing end peacefully.  Oh Teddy, you poor bad dancing stupid bald man.

The idiotic fans chant USA while the Canadian talks to the Mexican.  Maybe they’re cheering for Teddy?  Edge tells Alberto he doesn’t know what it’s like fighting on the biggest stage in the world.  Alberto says this is his destiny.  Edge says destiny can change and Alberto’s destiny may be to lose at Mania.  Intense stuff here from both guys.  Del Rio signs but it looked like just one word.  Edge signs too and I guess everything is ok.

Edge asks Teddy if he remembers asking if a contract signing can end peacefully.  He says he has an answer and Teddy sprints out of the ring.  Edge hammers away and clears the ring of all the Mexican stuff Del Rio had set up.  He sets for the spear but Ricardo grabs his feet and Del Rio hammers away.  Cross Armbreaker goes on and Edge kind of taps.  It’s let go quickly for no reason and Edge barely sells it on the mat. At least grab your arm dude.

Out to the floor and Edge’s nose is busted.  I’m surprised they didn’t blur it out.  Ricardo hands Del Rio a chair and it gets wrapped around the arm of Edge.  Christian runs out (in wrestling gear) for the save.  He beats Del Rio for a good while before security breaks it up to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. MUCH better than last week.  It’s not a great show but it’s a definite improvement as there was a lot more energy this time around.  Storylines were advanced and there were some new developments.  I still wish they’d cut out the Raw stuff but I guess it’s a Mania thing.  Also some additional wrestling would help.  Still though this was a solid show and entertaining throughout.  Good show this week.

Results

Edge b. Drew McIntyre – Edgecator

Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel b. Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov – Reverse DDT to Marella

Laycool b. Beth Phoenix/Rosa Mendes – Layla pinned Phoenix after a big boot from McCool

Big Show b. Kane via DQ when Kane used a chair

Jack Swagger b. JTG – Ankle Lock

It starts Tuesday.  Just like I did with the Rumble, every day I’ll be counting up a Wrestlemania.  These are the redone versions and are different from the ones on WZ.

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 7, 2010
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
Guest Hosts: Cast of A-Team

It’s Viewer’s Choice tonight so we get three hours and both brands. That’s always fun if nothing else and I have begged for this to be a TV special instead of a PPV like Taboo Tuesday or Cyber Sunday for the better part of ever so I’m happy here. Let’s get to it.

We open with Bret and Teddy Long in the ring, talking about tonight’s show. Bret wants to talk about Orton. Of course that means cue Orton with his arm in a sling. He wants Edge tonight and if he doesn’t get him he’ll go find him. So if he doesn’t get him he’ll go get him? Yeah….that makes sense. Edge of course comes out and that’s the Viewer’s Choice main event. Oh in case I forgot, tonight is Viewer’s Choice. The options are a debate, a sit up contest, or an arm behind the back match.

Now it’s time to have our first actual vote which is for Jericho vs. Show. The options are Over the Rope Challenge, Submission Match and Body Slam Challenge. It’s one of those shows I guess.

Striker has the results. He’s actually good in a roll like this.

Over the Rope Challenge: 11%
Submission Match: 41%
Body Slam Challenge: 48%

Big Show vs. Chris Jericho

To be fair, there are at least two options that were possible there so that’s better than nothing. Show pulls Jericho up from the floor to the ring BY THE HAIR. FREAKING OW MAN. Jericho works on the arm for no apparent reason. He then tries a cross body and Show ends it easily. He throws on the Colossal Clutch and Jericho taps. And of course he throws him over the top too. That’s kind of funny I guess.

Rating: D. This wasn’t much of a match at all, but it did the job. Wait no it really didn’t as nothing at all was accomplished here. Jericho is feuding with Truth…kind of, and Show is going for the world title. What was the point here? Yeah this was actually bad.

Up next the Hart Dynasty vs. YOUR PICK. It’s either the Usos, the Dudebusters or Khali and Horny. That….could actually go a few ways.

Usos: 36%
Dudebusters: 10%
Great Khali/Hornswoggle: 54%

NO FREAKING WAY this is legit. NO WAY.

Hart Dynasty vs. Great Khali/Hornswoggle

I’m fairly sure this is non-title. Khali and Kidd start us off as for one of the first times, Natalya looks great to me. Tadpole Splash misses thank goodness. Horny gets pinned in like 8 seconds. Oh this was stupid. The Usos run out and get beaten up for the first time. The Harts needed that one.

Rating: N/A. This was barely a match at all. The good thing to come out of this though is that the Harts now look actually credible against the Usos which is the most important part of this I think. If nothing else they look like they would have a fighting chance in a match against them which I’d bet happens at the PPV. Yeah I know that’s a fairly safe bet but you make a ton of money that way in the long run.

Lawler says something is wrong and leaves. Ok then.

We recap the Taker is dead thing which is at least elevating Kane for once.

The guest hosts come out and there’s just one of them. He says there’s a great show coming. Ok then.

Lawler is in the back and the other two guest hosts in fake mustaches are in character and say that Lawler wanted to hire them. SOMEONE STOLE HIS CROWN! They leave and run into the Bellas who they refuse to break character for. This is actually working for me.

Santino Marella vs. Vladimir Kozlov

The choices are Match, Arm Wrestling or Dance-Off. Hmm I wonder what’s going to win.

Match: 9%
Arm Wrestling: 7%
Dance-Off: 84%

Oh did you expect it to be anything else? Santino says he used to be a Backstreet Boy. Santino’s isn’t that funny or special. Kozlov does something similar to a robot. He’s actually not terrible. Ok this is sort of funny. Ok it’s VERY funny. They dance a bit afterwards and Santino gets slammed. Find a video of Kozlov dancing. It had me dying of laughter.

The Divas are in the back and they’re going to have a match next. The choices are 6 on 6 tag, Battle Royal or Champion vs. Champion. Wow those are actual wrestling matches.

Lawler is back.

6 on 6 Tag: 11%
Battle Royal: 73%
Champion vs. Champion: 16%

Divas Battle Royal

Again, I can live with this. Also it’s only 8:56 so we should step it up a bit soon enough. There isn’t much you can say here. Ah apparently going through the ropes counts too. Rosa is out. Tiffany is put out by Laycool. The same goes for Kelly. Gail hits a SWEET hurricanrana as nothing of note is going on. Gail and Alicia who have a match on Superstars are both out as are the Bellas. Laycool vs. Eve and Maryse are the final four. Make that Maryse, Eve and Jillian who I didn’t notice at all. Eve is out which is surprising. Jillian says they can be co-winners but Maryse throws her out. Boring but the girls looked good so there we are.

Rating: C-. Battle royals are hard to rate but this worked fine for what it was. It was about having hot women in small outfits fighting each other. In that sense it was a success. This is also a good idea as the less talented wrestlers are allowed to not have to actually, you know, wrestle. Maryse winning was a nice surprise also.

Sheamus and Kane have a staredown in the back. I’d like to watch that. He accuses Sheamus with some bad acting. Kane says he hopes to see him real soon.

WHO SHOULD SHEAMUS FACE? Kane, Mark Henry or Evan Bourne. HMM! I wonder who it’ll be!!!

Kane: 88%
Mark Henry: 3%
Evan Bourne: 9%

Sheamus vs. Kane

Yeah this works. I love big men fighting. Sheamus beats him up for awhile. We take a break. Sheamus is still beating him up. Kane starts beating him up for awhile. Chokeslam is blocked twice, Sheamus takes over again. Seriously that’s all that’s happened and it’s taken nearly 8 minutes. Chokeslam hits but Sheamus rolls to the floor and he just takes the count out. Eh that makes sense I guess and Kane looked very strong here.

Rating: C-. Very smart booking here as both guys get to look strong as well as giving us a decent match. Again it’s not particularly good but it did the right thing. Sheamus needs to stay strong going into the PPV and Kane needs to look strong going into the big angle he’s in. If he plays his cards right he could get to job to the world champion out of this which is a step up for him.

Edge vs. Orton in the behind the back thing.

Cena vs. Swagger, Mysterio or Punk later. That actually could be any of them.

We look at Wade Barrett who is indeed the best guy for that show. And here’s Wade Barrett. He’s asked what it’s like to win NXT. He says you wouldn’t ask a genius about passing a grade school exam. GREAT LINE. He says in one week he’s going to do something that’s never been accomplished before.

DiBiase and Virgil are in the back. I never get over saying that. The A-Team guys are here and accuse DiBiase of taking the crown. IRS IS HERE, WEARING THE CROWN! Apparently the crown was taken for not paying back taxes. There’s a gas attack and the heels wear masks while the faces are out cold. Ok then.

Miz and Truth have a tag match next and you get to pick their partners. Here are the options.

R-Truth: Christian, MVP, John Morrison
Miz: Zach Ryder, Dolph Ziggler, William Regal

R-Truth/??? Vs. The Miz/???

A REALLY annoying fan keeps chanting MVP for Truth’s partner.

Christian: 29%
MVP: 17%
John Morrison: 54%

That’s rather telling, and THANK YOU for not being MVP.

Dolph Ziggler: 38%
William Regal: 17%
Zach Ryder: 45%

Well he has the best music I guess. Weird team if nothing else. Morrison is back as he hits all of his big kicks, but in a rather short match, Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale (GREAT one too as Morrison’s head just bounced off the mat) on Morrison to get the pin. He signals that he wants the belt back. Liking the young four guys being out there.

Rating: D+. Not bad here but it was really too short to get anything going. Is there a point to bringing Morrison back to job him out though? I really fail to see the point to that but if nothing else it fuels the Miz/Truth thing which I guess is just starting now. I still don’t get the Morrison losing thing though.

Bret and Edge talk for a bit in the back and Kane accuses Bret of attacking Taker. Interesting little thing: Taker has NEVER beaten Bret clean.

Edge vs. Randy Orton

Remember that Edge will have an arm behind his back. Edge’s left arm is behind his back but Orton’s right arm is in a sling. Ok then. After about a minute Edge pulls the rope off and stomps on Orton’s arm. This gets the DQ. He goes for a spear but Orton gets a kick up to block it. Edge gets a chair and hits Orton in the arm with it.

Rating: N/A. This was an angle rather than a match but it opens a very interesting door as it’s now possible that Orton is out of the PPV match. This was a great idea and it came off rather well.

Cena and Bourne are talking in the back. Savannah comes up and asks Cena how he feels about he main event tonight. He says his life has been hectic and tonight the people make the pick and its their opinions that matter the most. The crowd is rather pro-Cena to say the least.

The A-Team guy wakes up…and MEAN FREAKING GENE IS WITH HIM! Gene makes fun of Josh Matthews who is right behind him.

Drew McIntyre vs. ???

The options are:

Yoshi Tatsu: 4%
Goldust: 8%
Mystery Opponent (does Matt Hardy poses): 88%

And it’s….actually Matt Hardy???? WOW. Drew says the match isn’t happening because of the suspension. Teddy comes out and says that he’s suspended from Smackdown, not Raw. Matt punches the tar out of him and never lets up. I like this angle actually. You can’t beat an old fashioned grudge match. Drew misses a charge and hits the post which POPS. Twist of Fate ends this clean in like 90 seconds. Post match he slams Drew’s head into the mat and keeps beating him down. Matt pulls some of his hair out. This was impressive for Hardy.

Rating: D. Uh…what was that? We build Drew vs. Matt up for weeks and him inside of 3 minutes clean? What was the point of that? Wasn’t Drew supposed to be getting a mammoth push and now he’s jobbing to Hardy in what could have been a decent PPV match? It fits but it’s just rather odd.

BA Baracus (Rampage Jackson) is in the back tied up and Virgil, IRS and DiBiase say they’re taking him to the ring. I like this actually.

Back from break and we’re in the ring. DiBiase says that he has a price, including him. Apparently someone wants BA…and it’s……RODDY PIPER??? What the heck? HUGE Roddy chant. Oh that’s right Piper feuded with Mr. T. WAY back in the day. Piper has a hat on for no apparent reason. He’s ticked off because he doesn’t want more hype over the A-Team again. He says it’s time for a fight and here’s the other A-Team guy along with Mean Gene and Dusty Rhodes on a golf cart.

Jackson breaks the handcuffs and it’s on! Jackson can actually fight of course so this is a massive beatdown. Dusty thinks he’s Murdoch from A-Team and plugs the movie……IF YOU WILL. This worked in the weirdest way you can possibly imagine, but it did in fact work. Oh and Lawler gets the crown back.

Next week’s host is the star of Royal Pains which Big Show is guest starring on soon. See what happens when you have RELEVANT hosts?

Josh is with the three options for Cena’s opponent. Rey says to be the top dog, you have to go after the top dog. Yeah that’s not at all like To be the man you’ve gotta beat the man. Swagger says it should be champion vs. champion. Punk just makes fun of Matthews and asks why Cena should get to fight Punk.

Here’s Cena and it’s only twenty minutes until eleven. That’s a good sign of a long match.

Jack Swagger: 23%
Rey Mysterio: 32%
CM Punk: 45%

John Cena vs. CM Punk

As a Punk fan, this works. Immediately Cena goes for the mask as you would expect. Punk is wearing camo tights. That’s just odd. The fans pop for Cena like a cherry but then chant you can’t wrestle. Odd crowd. Gallows cheats to get us to even and we go to a break. We come back and Cena starts taking over and goes for the 5 Knuckle Shuffle….and here’s Wade Barrett. Then all 7 other rookies show up and beat the tar out of the SES. Then they all get in the ring….and beat up Cena. What is going on here. AND THEY THEY BEAT UP STRIKER! AND LAWLER! Cole, of course, runs.

This is actually really cool. They turn over the announce tables and are all wreaking havoc. Security gets beaten up and they punch the announcer. They’re tearing the mat off the ring. Justin Roberts is getting choked out by Bryan. They’re destroying the arena. The ropes are torn up. Now they’re back to Cena. The ropes are literally falling apart, you can see the wood that is under the ring mat and they’re all clotheslining Cena.

Punk even tries to fight them and he gets beaten down. This is AWESOME by the way. Danielson yells at Cena that he’s better than Cena and spits in his face. Barrett hits his finisher on Cena, Gabriel hits the 450 on him. They’re all heel here in case you didn’t get the idea. They leave with Punk and Gallows out cold on the floor. This was original NWO level of insanity and one of the coolest endings to a Raw I’ve seen in forever. Also with there being 8 of them, that’s one heck of a force to fight off. Cena goes out on a stretcher but does the thumbs up as he leaves.

Rating: A+. The match was decent, but the angle was absolutely incredible. If nothing else it lasted longer than the Slammys match they had where Punk lost in like 2 minutes. I’m still in awe over the NXT thing which is saying a lot as it’s 7am at this point.

Overall Rating: B+. I’ve heard a lot of negative things about this show since it aired, but this was a very successful show to me. Angles were advanced, feuds were partially ended and the ending blew my mind. I’ve been watching Raw since it debuted and this is easily one of the best endings I’ve ever seen. NO ONE would have called this and it came off perfectly. Good show overall and the ending was amazing beyond belief.

NXT
Date: March 1, 2011
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Todd Grisham

This is the finale of Season 4 and I can’t say I’m complaining.  The two finalists are the monster Brodus Clay and the guy that makes having a bowl of vanilla ice cream while comparing the speed of paint drying against the speed grass grows sound like the time of your life, Johnny Curtis.  I have a bad feeling they’ll give it to Curtis as I’ve thought that’s what was coming since the season premiere.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the entire season so far.  My goodness O’Brian and Novak were worthless.

In the arena, Striker introduces the pros and then the rookies.  WE WANT BATEMAN chant.  But Vince and company doesn’t and they know what the fans want right?  Curtis says he should win because it’s personal and has been a fight between these two since the beginning.  He’s fought all his life and is going to kick Brodus’ teeth in.  Truth had to tell the crowd to be quiet so Curtis could talk.  They were chanting for Bateman.  Clay says Curtis stood up the entire season and they would be friends otherwise.  Brodus makes it clear that he’s the heel by making anti-Cleveland statements and talks about leaving like LeBron: a winner.  That sets up this.

Brodus Clay vs. Johnny Curtis

Clay sends him to the floor to start.  Back in and Curtis tries to stick and move.  He escapes the Tongan Death Grip but is taken down off the middle rope as we take a break.  There’s a new DVD coming out called the True Story of Wrestlemania with a bunch of behind the scenes stuff.  That could be very entertaining from a variety of perspectives.  Back with Clay holding Curtis in a nerve hold.

The idea here is that Clay is just doing basic stuff and letting Curtis make mistakes.  Suplex gets two and we go back to the nerve hold.  Clay goes after Truth but misses a corner splash.  DDT puts Clay down for a bit but the power of fat compels Curtis to get armdragged/wrist dragged off the top and the splash ends it at 5:30.

Rating: C. Well the right guy won at least.  I was hoping they weren’t going to pull the stupid surprise switch at the end by having Curtis get dominated the whole time and getting the fluke win.  This wasn’t bad but we’ve seen these two fight all season and no one cares anymore I don’t think.

Truth defends Curtis post match which means nothing.

Bryan and Bateman are in the back.  Bateman has a tag match later in an NXT reunion or something.  Bryan fulfills his promise by punching him in the face (read as he has his fist up and pushes it out which knocks Bateman down) for being eliminated.  Bryan says win this for chicks, for America and for Cleveland.  Funny stuff as usual, but since he can’t uh…..uh……just be there with Truth I guess, he’s been eliminated.

And yes I make fun of Curtis a lot but they did this last season with Kaitlyn by just deciding she was going to win and they’re doing it again here while Bateman and AJ respectively were clearly more popular but the company decided otherwise.  It’s rather annoying and when you have to see it coming all season it’s even more annoying.

I was killing time because it was a commercial and now we reair the Rock promo from last night.  It was very intense but at the same time he didn’t convince me of a thing.  I still side with Cena in this almost entirely.  I get that Rock vs. Cena is far more important and entertaining than NXT, but when the show is 50 minutes long including commercials and 20% of that is dedicated to something from last night, why should I believe that the show I’m watching is important?  They do it on Smackdown too which makes it even more questionable.

Conor O’Brian/Derrick Bateman vs. Jacob Novak/Bryon Saxton

Oh please make it short.  Bateman is the hometown boy so he’s the most popular of course.  It helps that he’s arguably the only talented one in there.  O’Brian and Novak start us off and the fans chant for Bateman.  Off to Saxton and we’re already having a boring match here maybe 90 seconds in.  The non-Bateman team tags in and out a lot while I guess we’re waiting for the hot tag to Bateman.

O’Brian is getting destroyed so there’s some value to this match already.  No mention of Season 5 so far if you were wondering.  Saxton stops the tag for a bit but can’t do it again.  Bateman comes in and cleans house on both heels (I think.  It’s hard to call O’Brian a face) but gets caught in that Downward Spiral Stunner that Ziggler uses by Saxton.  Novak walks out on the match and Bateman hits a bulldog/DDT hybrid to beat Saxton at 4:40.  Unique finisher if nothing else.

Rating: D+. Totally worthless match here as the whole thing was clearly just to have Bateman win it at the end.  Novak continues to perhaps be the most worthless wrestler this decade which is saying a lot.  Boring match but they needed to fill time since there was only one promo with meaning from last night.

We recap the main event of Raw to waste more time.  The camera deal was funny.

We reair the Shawn Michaels analysis or whatever you want to call that from last night to fill in even more time.  You couldn’t do like, Truth vs. Bryan or something to fill in 8 minutes?

Before we end the show, Josh says watch Smackdown to see Taker return.

Here’s a promo for Smackdown, saying Taker returns!  Why do I watch this show again?

There’s going to be a Season 5.  DANG IT!!!!  It’s going to be like nothing we’ve ever seen before but we get no more details than that.

Striker thanks the Pros as we’re finally at the ending.  Johnny Curtis wins.   I give up.  The winner is 3-7 and they made it clear this guy was going to win in the first episode, making the rest of this show COMPLETELY POINTLESS.  What in the world are they even airing this for anymore?  Total failure here as Clay dominated him in the ring and was pushed as a major guy all season, making the matches and competitions totally pointless.  I’m legit mad here and yet I’m totally not surprised at all.  Curtis says nothing of note and Clay hugs him.  Clay says he’ll take things from the fans now who took his dream away.

Overall Rating: F-. The matches sucked, the show wasn’t interesting and other than Orton vs. Nexus, I think they covered everything on Raw last night that mattered.  On top of that, the ending is as completely stupid a moment in WWE as I have ever seen which is saying A LOT.  I love WWE, but this is the first time I’ve ever considered not watching a show.  That says a lot but that’s how awful this was.  Pathetic and I’m legit mad about this.  Freaking nonsensed.

Results

Brodus Clay b. Johnny Curtis – Splash

Derrick Bateman/Conor O’Brian b. Jacob Novak/Byron Saxton – Bulldog DDT to Saxton

Johnny Curtis won Season 5 of NXT

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 28, 2011
Location: HSBC Arena, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

We have five Raws to go before Wrestlemania and the card is starting to have a lot more shape to it.  With the highest rating the show has had in over a year and a half from last week and a record high rating for Smackdown on Syfy this past week, things are looking good on paper at the moment.  Tonight we’ll likely see more of Cena vs. Rock to build up to some showdown in Atlanta or possibly even next year in Miami.  Let’s get to it.

HHH opens the show and it’s confirmed that he has Taker at Wrestlemania as he’s on his way to the ring.  Josh sounds a bit off tonight, like his voice isn’t working properly.  The graphic shown for their match lists Undertaker as The Last Outlaw.  Sounds like a weak cowboy heel gimmick in the 80s.  HHH chant starts up before he talks.  Josh hasn’t talked in awhile while Lawler has so maybe he’s sick or something.

HHH says the real test is the test of time and there is nothing he hasn’t done in WWE.  He’s defined the Elimination Chamber, he’s defined Hell in a Cell, he’s a 13 time world champion, he started DX and Evolution.  He’s been hated and loved, he’s defeated icons legends and immortals and has been here 16 years.  HHH says he’s outlasted everyone except for one person.

He says Undertaker is now known as the Last Outlaw, but that’s not true.  The two of them are more alike than Undertaker realizes.  There are no more challenges for either of them but Taker has the Streak which is all that keeps him going.  HHH claims to be the only true challenge Undertaker has left.  I guess we’re ignoring HHH being victim #9 in the Streak.  HHH’s only remaining challenge is ending the Streak, which will happen at Wrestlemania 27.  When the Streak dies, Undertaker dies with it and if he can’t end the Streak then he’ll die trying.  Good and emotional promo here from the Game.

As he’s about to leave, here’s Sheamus.  Sheamus steps into the ring and gets a stiff low blow.  No Pedigree but rather Sheamus is thrown to the floor where his beating continues.  He throws Sheamus into the time keeper’s area and launches the chair out of there too.  Pedigree onto the announce table kills Sheamus dead.  That table collapsed very well too as it looked like it exploded.  And before everyone says it, no that wasn’t a burial.

Shawn Michaels is going to give his opinion on the HHH vs. Undertaker match later.

Cole is going to answer King’s challenge tonight.

Rock (via satellite) will answer Cena as well.

Back and Sheamus is just now being helped out of the arena.  There’s an E-Mail which Lawler answers.  He starts saying the May I Have Your Attention Please but stops and says nah.  The E-Mail says that Sheamus was supposed to have a match and will still have that match, against this man who is returning to Raw.

Sheamus vs. Evan Bourne

Bourne fires away with kicks and hits (read as he missed by three inches) with a spin kick.  That sets up the Shooting Star Press to end this in 37 seconds.

Rating: B-. The first 12 seconds were pretty good, the next 8 dragged it down but the final seventeen more than made up for it.  Solid TV match.

With Bourne still in the ring, Justin Roberts introduces Michael Cole. He says he’ll tell us what his plans are for Wrestlemania in just a few moments and we take a break.

Undertaker will be on Smackdown.  There will also be a contract signing for Edge vs. Del Rio.

After a quick video of Cole insulting Jerry and his mother last week, Cole calls Lawler into the ring.  Apparently only Lawler can get fired for striking Cole and not the other way around.  Cole stumbles over his words here.  Cole claims to have the most guts in the company and that he never backs down from a fight.  His answer to the challenge is no.  Cole’s face is so smug here that it’s great.

Cole says he’ll accept under two conditions.  First off his trainer has to be in his corner at Wrestlemania and he gets to pick a special guest referee for the match.  Lawler says he doesn’t care if Cole has the Dark Knight, King Kong, Saba Simba and Superman with him, it’s on.  Cole is WAY too happy about this, even dancing a little over it.

He introduces his trainer: Jack Swagger.  Odd choice but it gives Swagger something to do I guess.  Lawler stares up at Swagger and Cole slaps him.  Jerry goes after Cole but gets caught in an ankle lock while Cole laughs at him.  The referee isn’t announced here.

Austin will be here next week.

Cole wipes off Lawler’s headset to take over on commentary.

Cue Orton to a ROAR.  Great pop for him there.  This is a match but Orton has something to say to Punk first he.  Last week CM was right about something.  Two and a half years ago when Orton punted him it was the biggest mistake of Orton’s career.  He should have kicked harder.  Faith can’t protect Punk from punting him again.  Orton talks about putting Punk in a rehabilitation home and the only thing Punk will have left is the faith that failed him.

Cue New Nexus led by Punk who has the microphone.  Could we get to a match anytime soon?  Punk says he’ll take care of Orton and here they come.  An E-Mail stops them, which says that Orton will face Punk at Mania.  Until then Orton gets singles matches against members of the New Nexus.  If they beat Orton, that member can be in Punk’s corner at the PPV but if they lose, that member is barred.  If any member interferes, the team is disbanded.

Randy Orton vs. Michael McGillicutty

Orton takes over quickly as you would expect.  The knee drop misses and here comes McGillicutty.  A clothesline by Orton sends him to the floor and we take a break.  Back with McGillicutty hitting a dropkick for two.  He adds the Mr. Perfect neck snap from the middle rope in a cool looking move.  There’s the chinlock from McGillicutty on the master of the chinlock.  Orton fights back and gets the powerslam and backbreaker.  Elevated DDT has McGillicutty reeling.  RKO ends it at 7:15 with about 4 minutes shown.

Rating: D. Not impressed here as it was just a step ahead of a squash.  Did anyone think McGillicutty had a chance here at all?  Either way, it would be nice to have a 1-1 match at Mania rather than having to worry about the interference.  This also gives Orton something to do between now and Mania so that helps a bit.

Post match Orton sets for the punt and Punk comes out to talk him out of it.  This fails of course and McGillicutty’s head is somewhere in the 4th row.  McGiilicutty’s face on the replay is great as his eyes are bugged out and his mouth is wide open.

We get a clip of Sin Cara aka Mistico signing with WWE.  The name Mistico is mentioned as well which is surprising.

Here are Miz and Riley.  Miz says Rock is responding to Cena tonight and not to Miz.  Why isn’t he doing that?  Because Rock knows his time has passed and Miz is now the top star in WWE.  Everyone wants him and wants to talk to him.  He talks about Cena, saying that Miz won the titles last week, not the two of them.  Cena should be worried about Miz, not Rock.  Miz says he’ll beat Cena and then everyone will talk about him as the greatest superstar of all time.

Cue Cena who says he has very important news.  He can’t listen to anything else Miz says because Miz isn’t well.  Cena pulls out a Doctor’s Note (construction paper with Doctor’s Note written on it and a Red Cross) and says Miz is obsessive compulsive.  He’s obsessed with being awesome despite being average.  Cena lists off various things that Miz does, none of which are funny.

Riley says that toilet bowls are called Johns, because just like Cena, they’re full of crap.  Even Cole makes fun of Riley for that one.  Cena asks Miz if he gets it now why no one takes him seriously as champion.  Cena makes something resembling a gay joke by asking if Miz wants to know if he wants his legacy to be shared with another man.  He says Miz should fire Riley tonight to make Mania one on one.

Miz tries to come back at Cena by making fun of the jean shorts so Cena makes more gay jokes.  He says be a man tonight and wants a match with Riley.  If Cena wins, Riley doesn’t work for Miz anymore.  Miz accepts for Riley, on one condition.  Miz won’t interfere, but if Riley wins, Cena has to say Miz is the greatest superstar of all time, because he’s the Miz and he’s awesome.  Cena lists off all the things he’s been put through in the past year and twists his arm around saying ok you’re on.

We get an E-Mail (and the third person answering it in the form of Cole) which says the match tonight will be in a cage.  Good thing they had one above the ring.  You can only win by escape.  Really a weak segment that doesn’t make me want to see them fight any more than I did before.

Divas Battle Royal

Back with this randomly starting.  Eve is on commentary and the winner is #1 contender.  About four people are gone in maybe a minute.  You can go through the ropes to be eliminated.  Within maybe a minute we have a Bella, Maryse and Gail.  Gail sends Maryse out with a handful of tights and then the Bellas switch.  One is thrown out and the other switches.  Eve says she’s had enough and whichever Bella that is (Cole doesn’t know either for the most part) but apparently it’s Brie who wins in 2:00.  Basically all the Raw Divas were in this.

We go to Rock at his home in a Cena hat and with a chain around his neck.  He makes fun of the rapping thing from last week and then “takes this crap off.”  He goes on a big rant against Cena, saying he’s electrifying Buffalo like only Rock can.  He looks like he’s in front of a green screen (I know he’s not but it looks like it for some reason).

Rock talks about making his big return and then Cena replies to him with a rap.  Well of course he did because that’s how the guy in the purple shirt and jean shorts would do.  He makes fun of Thuganomics and Hustle, Loyalty and Respect.  This all started when Cena called Rock a liar when Rock said he loved WWE but never came back.

His love for WWE is endless.  He was born here and it’s in his blood.  There are title belts behind him which he proudly displays and that all he wanted to do was prove that he can do things outside of WWE to open the door for the locker room.  But then Cena insulted the Rock.  Cena opened a door of his own and on the other side is The Rock.

At Mania he’ll be hosting but he’ll be addressing Cena sooner than Cena thinks.  His spirit is everywhere and he can electrify Buffalo just like this.  He snaps his fingers and the lights go out in the arena.  Rock says he’s never alone but is with the millions and millions of Rock’s fans.  He implies he’ll be face to face with Cena very soon.  He says the Rock is back to scratch an itch, so enjoy your Fruity Pebbles you Yabba-Dabba Man.  Very intense and full of energy, but it’s a step down from the two previous promos by these two.

Shawn gives his thoughts on HHH vs. Undertaker.  There is no higher mountain than the Streak but there is something about HHH that is intense beyond words.  More or less Shawn doesn’t pick either guy.

Here’s Daniel Bryan for a match but Miz jumps him on the way to the ring.  A running big boot puts Bryan down as this is an assault.  Fan: “Miz you’re a big cheater!”  Bryan is destroyed and takes a Skull Crushing Finale onto the floor.  Even Cole gets on Miz for this.  Miz grabs a mic and says he did that because he can.  Welcome to the Miz Show!  Now lower the cage and start the match!

Alex Riley vs. John Cena

You can win by escape only and if Cena wins, Miz has to fire Riley.  Miz tweets that he’s on commentary which is kind of cool.  Cena hammers away in the corner and doesn’t seem to be that worried.  Release fisherman’s suplex puts Riley down.  Miz is being a jerk even to Cole as he’s not happy about being forgotten for Rock and Cena.  That’s a very legitimate criticism actually.  Miz runs away to stop Cena from getting out of the cage and allows Riley to get in a good shot and take over.

Riley’s chest is blood red.  Cena goes into the cage and Miz has Riley bring Cena over to the cage to take a picture of him for Twitter.  That’s hilarious.  Miz slips the phone in through the cage and Cena is clocked with it.  The referee is like dang I need to upgrade.  Cena makes a diving save and Miz runs up to start a tug of war with Riley.  STFU goes on and Riley is in trouble.  Cena tries to get out but Miz grabs a chair and holds him off for Riley to get an electric chair drop and we take a break at 11:02.  Ok then.

Back with Riley hitting a dropkick but Cena is coming back with his ending sequence.  Five Knuckle Shuffle hits as the crowd doesn’t seem to care.  They’ve been pretty weak all night but granted with this card that’s not really something you can blame them for.  FU is blocked and they fight on the top rope.    Riley knocks him down and goes up but takes forever as I guess Cena wasn’t ready in time.

Cena makes the save and they fight on top of the cage.  Riley goes back in and Cena does also for some reason.  Back in the ring there’s the FU and Cena grabs Miz’s phone to take a picture of Riley.  Miz stops him from escaping again but Cena just shoves the  door open with the power of Flintstone Vitamins to win at 12:50.  He winds up taking a Skull Crushing Finale on the floor to end the show.

Rating: C+. Decent  match for the most part and I don’t think the ending was ever really in doubt, but the phone spots were funny as they were trying something new out there for the sake of comedy.  Good stuff here but I’d really like this to become a more serious main event feud than the comedy stuff they’ve been doing so far.  Also, Riley vs. Cena in a cage?  Really?  That’s the main event of Raw?

Overall Rating: D. Well some stuff was added to Mania, but this was a very boring show.  FAR too little wrestling.  Even another five minutes or so would have helped this but there was just nothing of note in the ring here.  I get that they just had a big South American tour and are all spent but this was ridiculous.  Cena not taking Miz seriously is getting old fast and I’m hoping the title doesn’t change at Mania.  Weak show overall, but there were some decent parts.

Results

Evan Bourne b. Sheamus – Shooting Star Press

Randy Orton b. Michael McGillicutty – RKO

Brie Bella won a Divas Battle Royal – Bella last eliminated Gail Kim to win

John Cena b. Alex Riley – Cena escaped the cage

Smackdown
Date: February 25, 2011
Location: ARCO Arena, Sacramento, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

It’s time for the Road to Wrestlemania and thankfully this is the last time I have to say that.  Alberto vs. Edge is the official main event contribution from the blue show.  This could be altered though with the return of Christian on Sunday.  Also we have Teddy Long back now so who knows what’s in store for Vickie.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s events regarding the world title.  Edge came in as champion, the title was stripped and given to Dolph as Edge was fired.  Teddy Long, the real GM returned, rehired Edge and gave him a rematch for the title.  Edge won and Ziggler was fired to end the show.  And people say nothing happens on Smackdown?

Teddy says Vickie gets to fight for her job tonight in the form of Vickie/Drew McIntyre vs. Kelly Kelly/Edge.  If Vickie’s team loses then she’s fired.

Do you know your enemy?  Mine are people that actually believed 2-21-11 was Sting.

Rey Mysterio vs. Kane

Kane does the fire corners thing before the match.  Those things are incredible live as they’re incredibly loud and you can actually feel the heat on your face.  Kane gets a quick cover for two.  He lowers his head though and Rey fires off some kicks.  Rey tries to go to the air and is caught in a powerslam position.  A shot into the corner gets two and Kane adds a body scissors.

Cody Rhodes is going to be here tonight but is apparently out of Mania.  Rey fights up but gets caught in a backbreaker for two.  He needs to stop this flying stuff as it doesn’t seem to be working for him here.  Another rana attempt is blocked but Rey puts Kane into the 619 position.  Kane avoids it and hits the floor and Rey goes after him only to run into a big boot as we take a break.

Back with Kane working on the back of Rey as the masked man is in trouble.  Kane drops some elbows for two again.  He seems a bit off here for some reason.  Bearhug goes on while Cole goes off on Josh about being afraid of powerful women or something like that.  Rey escapes but is put right back into the hold and then rammed into the corner.  Kane puts Rey on the top rope but gets caught by a seated senton.  Big swinging kick to a seated Kane gets two.

Rey goes up and is caught by a big uppercut which is dreaded according to Booker but it only gets two.  Top rope clothesline misses so Rey, ever the genius, runs right at Kane as he’s up and not hurt.  Chokeslam is countered into the 619.  Kane catches a seated senton into a powerbomb position but Rey climbs down the back into a sunset flip but can’t hook it so he settles for a rollup for the pin at 7:30 shown of 11:00.

Rating: C. Totally average match here.  I’ve never been a fan of this pairing but this was ok.  Kane’s title reign is long over so he’s back to being a main event jobber now which is fine.  He has a lot more credibility now and can go back to doing what he does best.  This was nothing special but it wasn’t too bad at all.  Right in the middle sounds about right.

Rey stays in the ring to celebrate but is interrupted by….Dusty Rhodes?  Dusty hugs him and we take a break.  Back with the fat man himself saying they’re friends and that he’s disappointed in his son’s actions and what Cody has been saying.  Dusty wants Cody out here now to apologize to Rey.

Here’s Cody in a clear mask that almost looks skin colored from a distance.  He says that he’s been through a lot and Dusty wants him to apologize to Rey?  Because of Rey Cody wasn’t in the Rumble or the Chamber and he won’t be at Wrestlemania.  Dusty looks ancient.  He says that when Cody came to WWE there were some things they talked about, such as Wrestlemania and being a champion.  Was this the wrestling version of the birds and the bees?

Dusty says that somewhere along the line Cody lost focus.  With the Divas saying he’s handsome and being in commercials and being on Syfy and agents from Hollywood calling him, he lost focus.  While Cody was being Dashing, Miz took the WWE Title in Cody’s spot and Edge came in and took the world title off an injury.  Then there’s the situation with Rey where Cody is the one to blame.  Right now though, Cody needs to apologize.

Cody apologizes to Dusty and says to Rey that he’s sorry too.  They shake hands as do Rey and Dusty but it’s a Dusty Finish to the segment as Dusty doesn’t let go of Rey’s hand and Cody jumps him.  The beatdown is on Cody sends Rey into various things on the floor.  He rubs Rey’s face into the steel at the top of the stage and then into the mirror that Cody looks into during his entrance.  Cody pulls the mask off and kicks Rey in the face, leaving him laying.  That added a lot to this.

Back from a break with the Rhodes men hugging and Dusty saying he’d do anything for his son.

Layla vs. Rosa Mendes

Michelle is on commentary again.  Rosa starts with a Thesz Press.  Is Michelle supposed to be like Paris Hilton or something?  Cole of course sucks up to her as Rosa is being all feisty and aggressive.  She goes after Michelle when Michelle gets in her face and a shot from the blonde (Michelle if you’re not familiar with the other girls’ hair) ends this in a DQ at 1:27.

Laycool argues post match.

Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston

I guess we’re back to this feud.  No entrance for Swagger this week.  We get a quick clip of Alberto jumping Kofi on Raw to injure his arm.  Josh says these two feuded over the IC Title over the past year.  You mean the title Ziggler held for like five and a half months and the Jack Swagger that was world champion for part of the summer and the Kofi that was on Raw until April and then feuded with McIntyre and Ziggler until the fall/winter?  I don’t say this often but Josh….you’re an idiot.

I’m pretty sure this is non-title.  Kofi gets a boot up and hammers away on Swagger with a ton of strikes.  Superman clothesline sets up the Boom Drop for no cover.  Swagger goes off on Kofi again and works on the leg by wrapping it around the post.  Back in the ring and the ankle lock ends this clean at 2:52.  That’s rather surprising indeed.  Too short to get anything going but this was nothing bad at all.

Vickie tries to talk to Teddy, saying this is so unfair.  She goes into his office despite him not answering.

We recap, and by that I mean reair, the Cena promo.  It’s still hilarious, especially the pinwheel thing.  I’m hoping this leads to Cena vs. Rock but I can live with it if it doesn’t.  The crowd ate this up too which is a great sign.

Vickie is still looking for help and asks Chavo who says her asking for help almost makes him forget about all the times she had him get her coffee and be her gopher.  Very true indeed.

Wade Barrett vs. Big Show

Corre is barred from ringside.  Show throws his jacket on Cole while Cole and Booker argue over whether or not Booker should be on commentary.  Show dominates to start but runs into a big boot.  Barrett chokes away while on Show’s back and Show is in some trouble.  Show gets to the ropes and Barrett pounds away more as we take a break.

Back with more Barrett domination including a big boot to the jaw from during the break.  Show fights back from one knee with big chops.  Barrett gets a low dropkick to the knee and down goes Show.  DDT gets two.  We hit the floor and it’s all Show after that kickout.  Barrett manages to send him into the post but Show pulls him back out to the floor and beats the count to win at 4:00 shown of 7:30.

Rating: C-. This was your basic giant vs. heel with the work on the legs going nowhere for the most part.  I’m getting tired of these relatively short matches though.  Also I’d like to see Show vs. a member of the Corre that means something in a match that gets a bit of time and has an ending that isn’t a count out or DQ.  Not bad though.

Corre comes out but Show wisely grabs a chair and Corre runs.  Gabriel takes a shot with it though and Show stands tall.

Long recap video of Taker and HHH from Monday.  I liked it despite what a lot of people seem to think of it.  Aww it wasn’t Sting.  Get over it already.

Edge/Kelly Kelly vs. Vickie Guerrero/Drew McIntyre

If Vickie’s team loses, she’s fired.  The genders have to match here.  Edge starts but immediately tags in Kelly to make this girl on girl.  Vickie gets beaten down and it’s off to Drew in less than a minute.  He yells at Kelly, saying he was the only one to stand up for her.  Edge hammers away but Drew takes over rather quickly.  Off to an armbar to the champion while the announcers bicker about what Vickie would do if she kept her job.

Edge takes him down and adds a forearm and some clotheslines for two.  The champion charges into the corner but pauses when Drew moves.  Vickie slaps him and Edge walks into a big boot from McIntyre.  Futureshock is countered into the Edgecution and it’s spear time.  Vickie comes in to beg Edge not to do it so Kelly takes her down.  Spear to Drew and Vickie is gone at 5:36.  What is with these short matches tonight???

Rating: C-. Vickie being gone is a nice touch but a five minute main event?  What happened to the days when Smackdown regularly had 15 minute matches?  The problem is that the ratings have been going up lately so they’ll likely stick with the Raw formula of quick matches.  Blast it all.

Teddy comes out to dance and we take a break.  Vickie cries and apologizes, even throwing in some solid begging.  Teddy fires her anyway.  Vickie begs the referee to reverse the decision to no avail.  Booker won’t help her either.  Cole doesn’t know what to do.  The cameraman won’t help.

Finally she begs Edge, holding onto his legs and crying.  Edge says he can help her but instead he’d rather sing.  You know the song I think and Vickie heads up the ramp.  She shouts you just wait and Alberto jumps Edge from behind, going after his arm.  Edge is left laying and I really hope Vickie doesn’t come back as Alberto’s employee.

Overall Rating: D+. This was one of the weakest shows from Smackdown that I’ve seen in a very long time.  None of the matches were very good, the main event is five minutes long followed by a seven minute segment with Vickie trying to get someone to help her.  The stories didn’t really go anywhere but it’s not like there were any in the first place.  Nothing show for the most part with nothing other than Vickie going on.

Results

Rey Mysterio b. Kane – Rollup

Rosa Mendes b. Layla via DQ when Michelle McCool interfered

Jack Swagger b. Kofi Kingston – Ankle Lock

Big Show b. Wade Barrett via countout

Edge/Kelly Kelly b. Drew McIntyre/Vickie Guerrero – Spear to McIntyre

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 21, 2011
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

We’re 41 days away from Wrestlemania and the first stop on the real Road to Wrestlemania is here in Fresno.  The main event on the Raw side is Cena vs. Miz which does sound like a big match if done right.  WWE has a lot of momentum right now with a good show last night, Rock’s return last week and the arrival of whoever 2-21-11 is about tonight should mean this will be a big night for WWE.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a shot of a clock counting down to 2-21-11 which is set to end in roughly an hour.

Theme song.

Cena opens the show and says what a day and what a crowd.  There’s a Rocky chant as he gets ready to talk.  The fans seemed to be split when he came out but cheering more for him than booing.  He won the Elimination Chamber last night and is going to Wrestlemania.  Last night should have been a fun night filled with wine, women and song, but this isn’t your typical night.

Since last week he hasn’t been hearing about the Miz or the Elimination Chamber but rather about alleged comments Rock made about him.  People have been asking what Cena is going to say about the Rock, but Cena isn’t sure what to do.  He was planning on just letting it go because it’s the Rock.  We look at the footage and Rock’s face on screen gets a big old pop.

We see the clip from last week of Rock ripping Cena apart for the catchphrase and the hand gestures and the colorful shirt.  Rock said he’ll see Cena at Wrestlemania.  Cena says that Rock was making fun of him and Cena should probably say something right?  There’s only one way for Cena to call someone out but he hasn’t done it in a long time.  However, he still has a degree in Thuganomics.  If he doesn’t take care of this tonight he can’t focus on Wrestlemania.  This is a one time only thing.

After a brief warmup he’s in a Fresno State (location of the show) of mind and he gets out the chain.  I won’t try to put what he says here but his great line is “I was speaking the truth.  You left us all hanging to play a fairy about a tooth?”  Cena is like a big purple pinwheel Rock so go ahead and blow him.

There’s a Witch Mountain/Brokeback Mountain joke in there as Cena is ripping into all of the movie titles of Rock.  The fans are into this it seems and definitely aren’t booing.  To close it out he said we couldn’t see Rock for seven years but Cena is here every week to show what the fans mean to him.  Find this online as Cena completely owned Rock here.

Cole is going to interview King later.

Morrison vs. Punk next.

46 minutes left in the clock.

John Morrison vs. CM Punk

Morrison can barely walk and do his pose due to the knee injury last night.  Punk is limping as well.  This is one of the best rivalries in years in WWE.  Think back to how many times they’ve fought over the years.  Morrison hammers away in the corner and Punk is in trouble to start.  He slips to the floor though and rams Morrison’s knee into the apron to take over.  Punk is moving much better than Morrison here.

Punk busts out the Haas of Pain of all things.  It’s like a Sharpshooter but Punk is laying next to Morrison and puts his foot on the crossed legs of Morrison and bends Morrison back.  Morrison gets out and fires away again.  And never mind as Punk gets a kick to the knee and the GTS ends this clean at 2:57.  That came out of absolutely nowhere.

Rating: C+. Considering the injuries and the psychology here this was good enough to warrant a rating.  Punk looked good and it doesn’t really hurt Morrison that much since you had Morrison all banged up out there.  Decent match and something I’d love to see more of with these two both healthy.

Post match Punk talks to Randall Keith Orton about how Punk is right here and waiting on Orton.  The New Nexus has the night off and this isn’t a trap.  Everything is about choices.  Today these people bought a ticket to see Punk.  In September of 2008, Orton made a choice to punt Punk in the head and cost him the title.

He points at the Mania sign and says that Punk isn’t going there because Punk is going to hurt him.  Orton needs to walk away and not be here next week or Punk will hurt him.  Cue Orton through the crowd and Punk runs.  New Nexus comes out but Punk shoves them away and a stand off takes us to a break.

Here’s Ricardo to introduce Del Rio for his match.  As Del Rio is doing his entrance, Kofi jumps Alberto.  There was a bell before Del Rio came out and a referee is out there so I’m assuming this is a match.  They never get into the ring though and Del Rio puts the Cross Armbreaker on the heavily bandaged arm and leaves Kofi laying.  I guess this wasn’t a match.  Kofi gets up and Del Rio jumps him again and Kofi is in trouble.

Miz is up next as we have 23:30 to go in the clock.

Here’s the WWE Champion to talk about the Rock.  He talks about remembering Rock ripping people apart time after time and was thrilled to hear what Rock had to say about him.  The best Rock could do is say that Miz sucks?  Really?  Really?  REALLY?  He’s heard better from kindergarteners.  Let him wipe his tears in his championship gold.  Miz doesn’t care what the fans think of him and he’s the most must see WWE Champion there is.  This was a lot better than it sounds.

We get an E-Mail which says enough about the Rock as the GM will deal with Rock when the GM is ready.  We get a Rock N Sock Connection reference and tonight the tag titles are on the line with Corre vs. Miz/Cena.  Please…..not this angle AGAIN.

Back with I kid you not George Washington vs. Abraham Lincoln.  Cena does a run-in to beat up George Washington.  It’s for the WWE All-Stars game if that makes you feel any better.

Bella Twins vs. Eve Torres/Gail Kim

Fast paced brawl to start with Gail dominating.  Nice cross body by her gets two.  The other Bella pulls Gail off the apron and it looked like her head slammed into the floor.  This is a very aggressive match.  Eve comes in and does the standing moonsault for two as the other Bella distracts her.  Rollup by Eve doesn’t work as Twin Magic occurs and one Bella pins Eve at 2:30.  This was nothing.

Less than three minutes and we take a break.

Back with the countdown starting at 25 seconds.  We see shots of the house and the crowd counts it down as the door on the house is opened.  Yep it’s Taker to almost no one’s shock.  Still cool though with Johnny Cash playing him to the ring.  There’s the gong and the place lights up.  Big explosions and Taker’s symbol hangs over the ring.  He takes the hat off, AND IT’S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!!!!  HHH is back too!

He does the corner pose and Taker stares him down.  HHH looks over his shoulder and the music ends.  BIG HHH chant starts up.  They get nose to nose and HHH looks at the Mania sign.  Then Taker looks at the Mania sign.  Taker….smirks at HHH and puts the hat back on.  Deadman turns his back on the Game as the sign hangs over both of them.  Taker turns to face the Game and gives him a throat slash.  Not a word has been said this whole time.  HHH holds up his arms and does the crotch chop.  They stare down again and we go to a break.  Cool segment.

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

They brawl to start and Henry grabs a bearhug and throws him to the floor with ease.  Very slow and lumbering match here as we’re back in the ring.  Slingshot shoulder block gets two for the king.  Henry rams Sheamus into the corner to take over.  A splash misses and Sheamus kicks him in the chest.  Sheamus pulls the turnbuckle off and Henry rams him into the exposed buckle.  World’s Strongest Slam ends this at 3:50.

Rating: D-. It was slow, it was stupid, it was lumbering and this gets us….where?  Nothing special here at all and granted it didn’t help to have to go on after the double return like that.  Yeah I’ve got nothing else to say here.

Miss USA is going to be on Tough Enough.  I give up.

Daniel Bryan and Gail are in the back but Sheamus comes up to get in his face.

The latest inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame is Hacksaw Jim Duggan!  This works fine for me.

Cole is here to talk to Jerry Lawler.  They can’t fight or they’re both fired.  Oh and Cole reminds us again that he’s a journalist.  The interview is next.

Here’s Lawler and Cole’s first question is what was it like knowing that last night was his big night.  Jerry says nothing.  How did it feel when he realized his dreams were going to be shattered and he was going to lose to the awesome Miz?  Did that mean maybe Cole was right and that it was time to retire?  Jerry says nothing.

What was it like when you were laying on your back and you realized that your deceased mother, no disrespect, had the best seat in the house and that your Wrestlemania dreams were over, how did you feel when you realized you let your mother down?  Jerry grabs Cole by the coat and says if Cole ever mentions his mother again it’ll be the last thing Cole ever says.  He’s had enough of listening to Cole.

Jerry says he’s going to Wrestlemania and he’s issuing an open challenge: Lawler vs. Cole.  Cole calls Lawler senile and runs back to the announce desk.  Lawler says be a man and show us what you’ve got.  Jerry asks if Cole is a coward and Cole takes his jacket off and throws his drink in Jerry’s face.  Cole runs into the crowd and Jerry is ticked.

Tag title match next.

Tag Titles: The Miz/John Cena vs. Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel

According to Josh this is unprecedented for some reason.  Miz vs. Slater to start us off.  All Miz so far as he beats on both Corre members.  Cena responds with a golf clap and is tagged in to a good pop.  Back off to Miz as the champions have had nothing for the most part.  There’s the Skull Crushing Finale and it’s over in 3:12.  What the heck?  Uh…ok then.  No rating due to the length as it’s 10 minutes til 11:00 so there’s a lot more to come here.

Barrett says hold it as the Corre is invoking their rematch clause right now.  An E-Mail says ring the bell.  The match starts post break.

Tag Titles: The Miz/John Cena vs. Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel

Back with the match already in progress and Miz holding a wristlock on Gabriel.  Cena comes in as does Slater.  Cross body by Cena gets two and it’s back off to Miz.  The WWE Champion is knocked to the floor and Corre holds Riley back so Miz can be beaten down by Gabriel.  Slater gets two on Miz.  Off to a chinlock by Slater which gets him nowhere.  It’s weird seeing Miz as the defacto face.  Neckbreaker by Slater gets two.

Gabriel in now but Miz fights him off and hits that knee to the back/neckbreaker combo.  He can’t make the tag though as Slater is tagged in for the save.  Miz still can’t make a tag and Gabriel throws on a headlock.  The crowd is WAY into this too which is making things a lot better.

Gabriel is sent to the apron and tries to come in off the top.  He jumps into a big boot though and Cena wants a tag.  Ask and ye shall receive as it’s Cena vs. Slater now.  Cena initiates his ending sequence and there’s the 5 Knuckle Shuffle and FU.  Actually it isn’t as Miz shoves Cena over with something like the Skull Crushing Finale and Slater gets the pin  to regain the titles at 12:00!

Rating: C+. Better formula match here and it worked pretty well.  I had a feeling they were going to do the switch right back and I’m glad they did.  This worked rather well and it sets up more of the world title feud between the two.  Good stuff here and the whole segment worked rather well.  Also very good that they didn’t go with the predictable ending.

Overall Rating: A-. First and foremost, those people complaining about the lack of wrestling here need to shut their mouths.  They’re completely missing the point of this and don’t even bother trying to compare it to Impact last week.  This was about building to Mania and it did that in spades.  The point was completely different and if you didn’t like what was done tonight that’s fine.  However, it wasn’t the same as what they did there and this is an instance where the lack of wrestling can be excused to a degree.

As for the show itself, this was a drama/storyline building show and it worked very well in that regard.  Cena responded to the Rock, we set up Cole vs. Lawler, Miz vs. Cena got development, two major stars returned to set up their big match at Mania and we might have a midcard feud developing with Sheamus vs. Bryan.  That all happened in two house plus more stuff.  I disagree with what they had go on last, but this was a huge show and it came off like a huge show.  Well done indeed.

Results

CM Punk b. John Morrison – GTS

Bella Twins b. Eve Torres/Gail Kim – Small Package to Eve

Mark Henry b. Sheamus – World’s Strongest Slam

The Miz/John Cena b. Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel – Skull Crushing Finale to Gabriel

Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater b. John Cena/The Miz – Slater pinned Cena after a Skull Crushing Finale