NXT
Date: January 25, 2012
Location: Tucson Arena, Tuscon, Arizona
Commentators: Josh Matthews, William Regal

We enter the second century of episodes of this show and apparently the time has been moved to 10pm EST now. Not that there was any notification of that but an article on there mentioned tuning in then to find out. Anyway, the wedding is over, Bateman and Maxine are together again, and Titus is now a heel. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Titus in an awesome looking suit to open things up. We get a clip of his rant last week against the fans. Titus talks about an apology but means the fans owe him one. The people are booing so this is at least somewhat effective. He says he did everything the fans asked for like taking pictures and he’s gotten nothing out of it. Titus talks about how he’s the big dog and the man around here.

Cue Watson who says he’s been there for Titus since day one. Now Titus wins one match (that’s a stretch isn’t it?) and he’s turning his back on everyone? Watson says the people love Titus and Titus doesn’t buy that. He says the fans don’t love him. Percy loves him, but not the people. Titus says this is just business and he did all the meaningless points and such and now even Percy is dragged into it with the stupid talk show.

He invites Percy to join the dark side because together they’re unstoppable. Percy declines because that isn’t winning. Percy says Titus sounds like Darren Young and that doesn’t sit well with O’Neil. Titus says there’s one option: be with him or against him. That would be two but I’m no NXT rookie. Percy says he’s not with him and drops the mic. Titus drops him so Striker comes out and makes the main event.

In the back, Hawkins and Reks want to know why they’re not in the main event. Striker says worry about the Usos tonight and he’ll worry about NXT.

Usos vs. Tyler Reks/Curt Hawkins

You can really see the issues with tag team wrestling at this point. You only have room for one successful tag team at a time and right now, that’s Primo/Epico so a team like the Usos who are very solid aren’t allowed to get any wins on the main TV shows. It’s a shame too because it’ll probably be a few months before that happens. Jimmy vs. Hawkins to start as Regal talks about dancing.

Reks tries to jump Jimmy which doesn’t work at all. Hawkins tries to come in but has to duck a superkick. The heels take over and my goodness this place has gone silent. It’s almost eerie. Reks takes over on Jimmy with a quarter nelson and it’s back to Hawkins. Suplex gets two. Reks hammers away and the announcers talk about how every star is eligible for the Rumble. I’m not entirely sure what that means. I believe it means champions but I’m not sure.

Jimmy finally gets a shot to the ribs and the fans wake up for the tag to Jey. He jumps and spins around a lot as he hits the running hip attack in the corner, which ISN’T RIKISHI’S MOVE!!! Everything breaks down and Hawkins hits kind of a mat slam for two. The cane is brought in but Jey superkicks Hawkins for the pin at 5:20.

Rating: C-. I’m sure you all know the drill here: this match has happened so many times and it’s still not interesting. There’s nothing being gained from these matches and the Usos aren’t going to get on TV other than anything as guys that get to lose to Primo/Epico so the champs can continue to bore people to death.

Bateman is very happy when Kaitlyn asks why Bateman would go back to Maxine. He says if I have to be here, be here with a hot chick. Curtis is here too apparently, because saying THIS ENDS doesn’t end a thing.

Heath Slater vs. Trent Barretta

Regal says Trent makes him want to compete again. Slater takes over early and knocks him to the floor as Regal talks about being a world champion. Slater keeps control and loudly calls spots as he sends Trent into the corner. A charge misses and Trent takes him down with an enziguri. A running knee gets two. Northern lights suplex gets the same. He goes up and Slater runs the ropes and gets a powerslam off the top for two. That was pretty cool. Trent sets for a DDT but Slater escapes and charges at Trent, jumps around him and pulls him down in kind of a jumping spinning sleeper drop for the pin at 4:41.

Rating: C-. Not bad again and if I remember right, that’s Slater’s first win since something like July. He’s a jobber so that’s to be expected, but over Barretta? Why? Anyway this wasn’t bad, although I’m really getting tired of these annoying finishers which have mostly sucked anymore. Doesn’t anyone use basic moves anymore?

We get a clip from the wedding last week and Maxine rejoining Bateman. Here’s Curtis but Bateman interrupts him. Maxine complains about being stuck here, Striker says get over it because we have to get along. Maxine makes them shake hands and they get slapped. That’s it.

Rumble by the Numbers. That’s always cool.

Titus O’Neil vs. Percy Watson

Percy controls to start but Titus beats him down and throws him to the floor. He’s still in purple and does the dog bark so there isn’t much different here. O’Neil pounds him down into the corner and hooks a chinlock. Titus hammers him in the corner and hooks a chinlock. Some of you may be noticing a pattern here. Oh wait Titus told the fans to shut up. He must be evil then. Watson gets his first offense in including a clothesline, a splash and a shoulder block. Spinning splash gets two. Persecution is countered and a very bad looking Clash of the Titus ends this at 5:49.

Rating: D-. What a miserable match. Titus is just not cut out to be a heel, or at least he’s really bad at it. The problem is that he’s the same guy that he’s been the entire time now and he’s still stuck here so nothing has changed, which means the turn didn’t really do anything. Terrible match and basically a squash.

Titus beats him down even more until Alex Riley makes the save. I like that style: just bring in random people for basic stories and matches as a result.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t horrible but it’s very much about the same things we’ve seen all the time. Bateman and Curtis didn’t do anything of note here and I really hope it doesn’t turn into yet another tag team. Without titles, there’s no real point to them all fighting because there’s nothing to fight over. Not a terrible show, but until the major problems are fixed, this show isn’t going anywhere.

Results
Usos b. Tyler Reks/Curt Hawkins – Superkick to Hawkins
Heath Slater b. Trent Barretta – Jumping Sleeper Drop
Titus O’Neil b. Percy Watson – Clash of the Titus

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Royal Rumble 2009
Date: January 25, 2009
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 16,685
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Matt Striker, Todd Grisham

There are really no differences at all between this and what you see today other than a few face and heel changes. Everyone is here for the most part other than Christian I think. Yeah there’s just not much that’s changed since then other than DX reuniting. We have five matches tonight, one of which is the new Smackdown Champion Jeff Hardy in his first title defense against Edge, although someone has been trying to get him lately.

Also we have Cena defending against JBL in the token title match of the year. Other than that it’s just the Rumble which more or less was the most predictable match in history as all of one person was mentioned at all in the buildup to it. That being said, let’s get to it.

The opening video is the standard thing of all the Rumble winners and all of the logos but it’s cut off by Orton’s music and clips of him being a bastard to the insanely hot Stephanie. Vince gets kicked in the head to stun the crowd. Yeah, they’re not making it obvious at all who was going to win here.

The slow motion replay of the kick shows that it’s INSANE. There’s no pyro for the opening as it’s all serious and stuff. In other words, the fans get cheated to a special part of the show for Vince. Oh never mind there’s the pyro. Still kind of stupid though.

ECW Title: Matt Hardy vs. Jack Swagger

Jack was the undefeated rookie here, having won the title two and a half weeks ago. This is the mostly pointless rematch. Matt gets a great pop and I wonder why he’s never been pushed harder than he has been yet. It’s a shame that Swagger is being depushed, but to be fair tonight for the Little People Court Raw he had a good match with Cena so maybe the push is back. He has no pyro yet so that sucks. We even get the big match intros here.

Since it’s 2009, Swagger is a cowardly heel at the beginning. Hardy brawls for the most part as Striker points out that he can’t out wrestle him so why try? That’s a great point at least. We get a replay of a great right hand from Matt. That was sweet. Hardy is doing really well so you know how it’s going to end in case it wasn’t clear yet. Swagger works on the arm which is the one he uses for the Twist of Fate. I know because Striker told me.

See why he’s the best in the world today? Swagger is working the shoulder really hard here and uses some unique stuff, including a boot to the shoulder. That’s something I’ve seen a few times but rarely enough that it’s effective. I’m not sure if I like or dislike the big 2 signs in the front row for counts. They always disappear after the first match so I’m guessing someone takes it from them or they get tired of it.

Striker goes way too insane by saying who the last North Carolinian to win a world title in Detroit (Steamboat in 87). That’s saying a lot. This is a good match with a lot of close calls. They’re getting some time too so that helps a lot. Hardy goes into the post as it was already hurt. Swagger hits the powerbomb for the pin to retain and let us hear his awesome music. Hardy sits on the steps with his head in his hands. Remember that for later.

Rating: B. I really liked this. It was a decent length of about ten minutes and had a ton of close calls and near falls. The arm stuff was good and it played into the ending to give it some psychology. That gives it most of what makes a great match so this is easily solid for an opener.

Orton is here and no one is talking to him. They’re making this seem like the big deal that it’s supposed to be.

Raw Women’s Title: Melina vs. Beth Phoenix

Melina is gyrating like there’s no tomorrow and it’s working very well. Beth is with Santino here but it’s getting close to the end. Santina would be debuting soon enough to suck the life out of everything again. Beth is just freaking gorgeous. I love that backflip she does to get into the ring. Santino gets a massive chant, proving that no one cares about the women and care about comedy.

Thank you Vince for crippling wrestling and making the comedy more important. Beth very clearly calls a spot to Melina and then whips her in. Beth shows off her power by lifting Melina up with one arm. That’s just freaking scary. Beth’s thong is sticking out which is of course awesome. She gets a leg lock on Melina that’s in so deep that her foot is touching her head. That can’t feel good. Beth actually pulls the leg back to ram it into her head. FREAKING OW MAN!

They botch the heck out of something as Melina is trying to come back. Melina hits an INSANE move where she spins around Beth’s side to get the rollup for the title. That was awesome looking.

Rating: C-. There were far too many botches in there but the submission thing and the ending were both cool. It was your standard Diva match so that’s not saying a lot. Melina’s selling of her back was great here though and it helped the match a lot. Not bad, but still far from great due to the sloppiness. They had a submission match soon after this.

We recap the JBL vs. Cena feud, which is mainly about the JBL and HBK feud over the money or whatever. It was stupid and one of those “real” angles that never work for me. It’s like saying Shawn makes no money from wrestling or anything like that which is just ridiculous. Being conservative, let’s say Shawn makes a quarter million a year. That’s FAR more than enough to live a decent life, but he needs to be sold to JBL to make ends meet?

Shawn more or less lays down for JBL to get the pin. The problem that plagued this at the end was that it ended way too fast. It should have been at Mania instead of No Way Out. To be fair though, that wound up being the wrong choice as Shawn and JBL did what they should have done at Mania.

We see JBL and Shawn in the back and JBL says that if he wins tonight, Shawn is a free man and paid in full and can be in the Rumble. JBL leaves and Shawn looks in a mirror for awhile and then turns around to have Taker staring down at him. He says that sometimes you have to go through pain to get to Heaven. Yeah they did the right thing.

Ad for Mania.

Raw World Title: JBL vs. John Cena

Cena was kind of casually mentioned in the package. Until the Taker cameo, I would have believed a title change here. The crowd is split on Cena as always. I would have actually believed them going with JBL vs. Shawn, but Taker switched me to reality. The idea here is that Cena is off his game because he has to keep his eye on Shawn. For instance, they’re on the floor and Cena ducks a clothesline but Shawn is in front of him and Cena gets ready to duck the superkick and JBL gets a shot in.

Never mind that the kick would have cost JBL the match but whatever. JBL had lost a bunch of weight at this point and actually looked like he was in very good shape. He lost probably 40 or 50 pounds and actually had a stomach. Shawn is more or less stoic on the floor. There’s a Ram Jam sign in the crowd, which is the finisher of the main character in The Wrestler.

We cut to a shot of Shawn about once every 30 seconds as Cena is more or less a pawn in this, which is ok I guess as this was just another title match for him. Cena has the STFU but due to Shawn standing there he gets nervous and JBL can get out. The Clothesline From JBL hits but it just gets two. There goes the referee and we have a bad looking double clothesline spot. Oddly enough we can see the ECW announce table over Shawn’s shoulder and there’s no Todd Grisham. That’s most odd.

Shawn gets in the ring and starts tuning up the band. He kicks Cena and JBL begins his second world title reign. Yeah I don’t buy that either. Oh of course he kicks JBL. Ok he kicks Cena too. He lays JBL on top of Cena as Cole says he doesn’t get it. That might be because Cole is freaking stupid. Yeah it must be. Shawn leaves and shakes his head as Cole tries to figure out the complexity of this.

Have fun Mikey boy as it doesn’t exist. Another referee comes out and we get two. Both guys are out as Cena kicks out so it looks like he’s spooning JBL. DANG that first referee has been out for a long time. He got ran into not freaking shot. Cena gets an easy FU for the pin. Oddly enough it has no name here and was called his move by Lawler in the replay.

Rating: C. Usual stuff from these two with the focus on JBL and Shawn like it should have been. That’s ok here though as it set up the big blowoff with them next month. Like I said Cena was more or less a pawn here and that’s all he should have been. This got JBL and Shawn much further along and it worked well. The match wasn’t that good but it rarely was with these two so what are you going to do.

Buy Legends of Wrestlemania and screw up history.

We recap Edge vs. Hardy which was the result of the Stairwell “Atrocity”. Basically, it seemed like someone wanted to hurt Jeff. There was that, plus him and his girlfriend being run off the road, and him having his face burned by pyro. I went to a house show a few weeks after that and he didn’t appear because of it. I’ve never seen so many kids look so sad. Anyway, Edge denied everything as he was the obvious most likely suspect. This is Jeff’s first title defense.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

Wow. Back in 2000 or 2001 who would have thought that would be realistic? Jeff is WAY over. The celebration for him winning the title was absolutely perfect. My goodness I want to freaking shoot Vickie. Oh she’s Edge’s wife at the moment. It’s no DQ now also. Edge is flanked by Chavo. Edge gets speared as the bell rings, which is stupid as he didn’t need to since there’s no DQ. The WE WANT CHRISTIAN chant starts in about 10 seconds.

Christian would debut again in 16 days and he was already done with TNA and had made it known that he was coming back to WWE. You know the more I watch these shows, the more spots I see called by guys. I wonder if that’s just because I’ve seen a lot or if it’s because it’s becoming more of an issue with these young guys. After Jeff dominates for a bit, Chavo’s interference gives Edge the advantage.

Now we get some stupid hockey jokes after Edge slams his head into the table three times. Geez there’s another called spot. And now it’s weapons time as Edge brings in a chair which doesn’t work. While both are on the apron, Jeff hits a Twist of Fate which pretty much sucked. And there’s the ladder because Jeff is the Sabu of the WWE. Chavo makes a save but gets thrown off and jumped on. Jeff jumps off onto Edge.

I use the term jump loosely as he more or less falls and the splash turns into a headbutt. It looked ok but sloppy. Passable at least. This is the referee with the hitch in his count which is annoying . Edge counters the Twist of Fate into a DDT which impresses JR. Why? It’s not like that move has never been countered before. That’s why it never worked as a big time move. Think of the leg drop or the Sharpshooter or the Stunner in the earlier days of it or the tombstone.

When one of those connected, it was OVER. Jeff and Edge never had one of those, which is what makes them look weak. Vickie comes out and breaks up the pin off the Swanton. Here’s Matt with a chair and you can feel it coming. The crowd just goes silent over the chair shot and the look from Matt is GREAT.

This was an awesome moment with Edge looking back and forth with an awesome what the heck just happened look on his face. The complete lack of commentary here helps a lot. Matt walks away stoically. This would lead to their two match series that sucked because they didn’t go anywhere near as insane as they could have.

Rating: B-. Not bad but not great here. They had their standard good match that went about 20 minutes. That’s all you need really at the end of the day. The real story here was of course Matt vs. Jeff which is fine as it was a great story that the matches couldn’t live up to. They went fine though here and that’s fine.

Ad for No Way Out, which is now just called Elimination Chamber.

Orton says he’s not worried about Vince. This was the start of the STUPID mental disorder or whatever it was. That could have worked if he never said he didn’t have it or whatever but the whole thing was just stupid. Jericho shows up and says good job on kicking Vince in the head.

We get a recap of all of the Rumbles which never gets old. This is the really cool one with the following stats, accurate as of coming into the 09 Rumble:

22 winners (in 21 matches, but remember Luger and Hart were co-winners)

598 competitors (this is odd as there was one match with only 20 entrants and I don’t think there are enough to knock out twelve people over the years, unless they’re counting all the times where a guy gets beaten up on the way to the ring)

36 people that Austin eliminated, a record that Kane will likely break someday.

11 people that Kane threw out in 2001 which is insane

11 consecutive Rumbles for Kane, which is awesome

1 woman ever for Chyna

62 minutes 12 seconds which is the official record I guess, even though if you listen to the commentary for the 92 Rumble Flair was in for about 70 or so, which was false.

2 seconds that the Warlord lasted.

3 times that Austin won, which is also a record

1, the number with the same amount of winners as number 30, which is insane when you think about it. Note that in the video for this they only show Shawn when talking about the number one spot.

27, which has had 4 winners (Studd, Yoko, Hart, Austin in 2001)

70 which is the percent that since 1993 that the winner has won the world title at Mania.

This was an AWESOME package that got me completely in the mood for a great Rumble.

Royal Rumble

90 second intervals this year. Rey has number one and Morrison number two. If they had any idea what kind of a classic they would have in the fall they would be amazed. Rey’s mask makes him looking like a member of the Klan. Ross and Lawler are doing the commentary which just makes this feel right. One thing I like that they’ve got going here is they have a big Mania 25 logo in the corner of the arena and everyone keeps pointing to it.

Miz and Morrison are of course tag champions here. Rey does an awesome spinning move around John to get to an arm drag. Number three is Carlito. He’s a face here as he’s part of the Smackdown tag champions which would be unified at Mania. Oh no wait it was before Mania because we had to have a Kid Rock medley. MVP, just having turned face is 4th. Khali is 5th as not a lot is happening. He of course dominates the whole thing and chops the heck out of them all.

I hated the match he had with Rey when Rey was world champion. It completely killed Rey’s credibility for months. Kozlov, still undefeated and with a decent amount of heat is 6th. He drops Khali in about 5 seconds. MVP and Carlito are both out now so it’s Rey, Morrison who has been hiding and Vlady. It’s HHH at number 7 to a roar. After a facebuster, HHH throws him out with ease. Orton is 8th and it’s on.

The clock came up very fast for him as I’m assuming HHH was afraid of being in there with two good workers like Morrison and Rey. Morrison gets a 619 and Cryme Tyme come out and flip a coin to decide who gets in and it’s JTG. The clock is going WAY too fast here as DiBiase is 10th. Morrison and JTG both go over but hang on and kick at each other in a cool looking spot and then DiBiase and Rey do it and then HHH and Orton do it. That’s either cool or stupid.

Jericho is 11th. Well no one can say that they’re sticking with small stars in the opening. Despite the star power, not a lot of interesting anything is going on, mainly because it’s so clear Orton will win. Mike Knox and the beard of awesome is 12th. Knox would somehow manage to get into the Elimination Chamber next month which blew my mind and sucked at the same time. Miz is 13th.

He was about to start making fun of Cena and becoming the awesome character that he still is to this day. Morrison takes a sweet RKO and then so does Miz and JTG. He gets stopped by a Pedigree as HHH throws out Morrison and Miz while Finlay is 14th.

In a SWEET spot, Rey goes over the top to the floor but walks on Miz and Morrison to stay alive. That was awesome. How in the world are we almost halfway done with this? Rhodes is number 15. Rey gets a springboard and Orton takes him down with an RKO. The lights go out and Taker is sixteenth. Taker is on one side of the ring and everyone else is on the other. He beats them all up and throws out JTG with ease of course.

The crowd is way into him. That’s why he’s still getting pushed. Gold freaking Dust is 17th. WHY does he still have a job? He has no gimmick and is slipping in the ring. He and Cody have a showdown and Goldie beats him up. This is being written on December 23rd. My wish for Cody: that he makes 1/10 of the impact Goldust made. He’s got a long way to go. Rhodes puts out Rhodes and Orton is very proud. Punk gets number 18.

That pop doesn’t exist according to Vince as he deserves to be jobbed to Cena in less than two minutes. He won the IC Title about two weeks prior to this and the Triple Crown in less than a year. That’s amazing. Vince disagrees apparently. Yeah I’m a Punk mark, get over it. He hits GTS on HHH which surprises me. Henry, still a heel and not yet the Kool Aid Man is 19th.

The ring is WAY too full here with twelve or thirteen people in there. Shelton, the US Champion, is 20th. Punk and Jericho are on the top for some reason and Shelton does a running double Downward Spiral to them, which is called a reverse DDT by JR because he’s an idiot. Regal is 21st and he’s the guy that Punk beat for the IC Title.

Mysterio puts Henry out which is of course perfectly fine. Kofi, still not a big deal at all but getting very popular very fast, is 22nd. Taker is bleeding which I’d assume is hardway and he throws out Shelton. Kane is 23rd. Rey is upside down and hanging on in a weird looking position. Lawler counts 12 or 13 people in there. Kane and Taker hook up for awhile for a double chokeslam on DiBiase. Punk puts Regal out. R-Truth is 24th.

There are WAY too many people in there and even more just laying around and doing absolutely nothing at the moment. That’s the problem with having people last a long time in there. They’re used to ten to twenty minute matches at most so this is the equivalent of a rest hold. Rob freaking Van Dam is 25th to an EPIC pop. The whole match stops to watch.

Something that would crack me up is if they didn’t know he was coming. He does his top rope kick to Kane who just watches it happen. I know there’s no point in having him in there as there’s no way he’ll win, but he’s a WRESTLER and a former world champion. There’s his validation. Kendrick is 26th. He manages to put Kofi out and then be thrown out in 15 seconds. Van Dam is just so ridiculously over it’s scary.

Dolph Ziggler, still meaning nothing, is 27th. He runs into Kane resulting in a quick elimination. There are at least 14 people in there and most of them are doing nothing with maybe 4 really working in there. Ross actually says they’re trying to keep up with the action. Santino is 28 and breaks Warlord’s record by being clotheslined out in 1 second by Kane who was right there. Hogan got a running start to put out Warlord which explains the time lapse.

HHH and Taker go at it which is always awesome. Jim Freaking Duggan is 29th. REALLY? This is what ticks people off about the modern WWE. Shad can’t get in there? Primo can’t? Instead we put a 50 year old jobber in there instead. Yes he’s won before but we don’t wheel Luger out to be in there also.

Big Show is number 30, so here’s your final group. You may need a pillow as this might last into the night. The group is Rey, HHH, DiBiase, Jericho, Knox, Finlay, Rhodes, Taker, Punk, Kane, R-Truth, RVD, Duggan and Show. That’s 14 people. DO YOU THINK THAT’S ENOUGH? Well since they’re all in here let’s get rid of them. Everyone stops except Duggan who keeps punching someone while everyone else stops to watch which looks really stupid.

He and Taker have their requited showdown and Kane does the required run in to stop it. Show puts out Duggan. Jericho jumps on Show which is amusing now. Truth gets thrown out by Show after a beating. Show throws Punk over three times and then knocks him the heck out with a right hand. Punk’s selling is masterful. You know, the selling he demonstrated when he tapped to Cena in 2 minutes at the Slammies because that made SO much sense right?

Show puts out Knox and Rey as Horny comes in for no apparent reason and then Kane eliminates Finlay. Van Dam nods at a referee which I’d assume means something. Show and Taker go at it of course because that has to happen at least once every six months. Yeah Van Dam goes out soon after so I’m assuming a referee signaled that he was next out or something. I’ve always wondered how they knew when to do that.

Taker puts out Jericho and we’re down to seven. We’ve got Legacy, the big trio and HHH. There goes Kane, shocking no one as he jobs first. Legacy goes after Taker which is surprising. Taker counters with a double clothesline and a chokeslam for Orton. He doesn’t throw him over because he has to win though. Taker and Show have a boxing match or something resembling one. Taker has somehow shrunk from 7’0 to 6’11 to 6’10 to now 6’9 over the years.

Orton tries and RKO but just gets shoved off which never gets old. Taker and Show fight on the apron and Orton puts Show out who then pulls Taker out. Priceless being caught in a double choke by Taker made me imagine them in the locker room and Taker saying boys I’ve got cups older than you so sit down. That leaves us with Legacy and HHH as it’s all about him again.

This is a step down from HHH, Batista, Cena and Kane from last year. You ever notice how HHH is ALWAYS around near the end of these things? He was close in 98, won in 2002, 3rd in 2006, 2nd in 2008 and 2nd in 2009. That’s most interesting isn’t it? He of course throws out Legacy and then Orton dumps him for the completely inevitable win. Massive posing takes us out.

Rating: D. This just wasn’t that good. WAY too many people and WAY too much laying around just drained the life out of it. Van Dam coming in was great but Orton was so clearly the winner here that it sucked the life out of it. That’s something I burned Sly on once as he said that this was one of the best Rumbles ever and then slipped and said that the way you determine a good Rumble is by saying anyone could win.

I asked who else could have won in 09. I’m waiting on a reply to that and it’s been nearly a year boss. Anyway, this wasn’t interesting to me back then or now as it was just about HHH vs. the world and that’s simply not interesting. Of course, they would feud for the majority of the year and kill Raw in the process, but Vince is in love with Orton despite what ratings say so there we go.

Overall Rating: B+. Rumble aside, this is a great show. You have four solid matches with drama and title changes and storyline advancement. What more could you ask for out of this thing? I really liked it and it came out very well. The Rumble itself was pretty bad but then again so was Raw as a whole this year. As for the show, watch it but stop the DVD before the Rumble but after the Rumble package.

So that’s the Royal Rumble up til now. Since this is December 23rd, I have no idea what the 2010 card is going to look like so I have no predictions. Overall, the Rumble is the epitome of hit or miss in the company as some like 92 and 04 are classics and great matches while some like 95 or 99 make you long for a 2000 WCW PPV. It’s been able to make stars like Benoit and Shawn while at the same time some have won it and then done nothing like Duggan, Studd and that Austin guy.

It’s the most unique battle royal in wrestling and it’s the real start to Mania which is what it should be. That first three months or even four months of the year is predicated on this one match and other than one year it’s always been at least a 40 minute match so you’re in for a long one. This is definitely something special, and to think it all started so Vince could screw Crockett. Anyway, tomorrow is the Rumble and I’ll likely be pumped.

Sheamus is currently world champion and I still can’t get over that. Anyway, thanks for reading this and I hope you liked it. That wraps up the big four but I’ll be around with random reviews and some stuff from other companies so keep reading or start if you haven’t read this. Wait what?

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Great American Bash 2008
Date: July 20, 2008
Location: Nassau Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 12,454
Commentators: Jim Ross, Mick Foley, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Mike Adamle

This is the last of the Bashes and the card looks pretty good. The main event is for the Smackdown Title and is one of the few big matches that never got a big time PPV main event slot: HHH defends against Edge. Other than that we have a parking lot brawl with JBL vs. Cena and Jericho vs. Michaels in a match where HBK’s eye is bad. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Vickie and Edge’s wedding. Edge them cheated on her with wedding planner Alicia Fox but this was ok I guess. The rest of the video is about the matches I mentioend.

Oh and this is officially the last show before PG began.

Smackdown Tag Titles: John Morrison/The Miz vs. Finlay/Hornswoggle vs. Jesse/Festus vs Curt Hawkins/Zack Ryder

Miz and Morrison are defending. Festus is Luke Gallows who freaks out at the sound of a bell. Jesse and Festus clear the ring so the champs send Horny in to fight him. Smart move guys. Horny wants to try it but instead dives through the ropes to take out the champ. Festus vs. Miz gets us going officially. Off to Jesse with the only world champion to be found in this match in trouble.

Morrison and Finlay come in and the Irishman is in trouble. Foley asks why you would tag into someone on another team since this is one fall to a finish. Miz and Morrison use various nefarious techniques to hurt Finley and it’s off to the chinlock. Miz and Morrison switch in and out twice and Finlay gets in a shot. I don’t think Hawkins and Ryder have been in yet and as I say that Ryder comes in to steal a pin attempt, getting two.

The former Edgeheads/Major Brothers hammer away on Finlay but he counters into the rolling fireman’s carry slam, whatever that was called. The Irish Club is brought in and I don’t know who got hit as Miz and Morrison ran in to break it up. Finlay gets in a shot on I think Hawkins and it’s off to Horny. Jesse tags himself in to beat on Hawkins. There’s the not hot tag to Festus and he cleans house. He and Jesse load up a rocket launcher but Ryder pulls Festus to the floor and Jesse gets slammed off the top. Hawkins pins Jesse for the surprise title win.

Rating: C-. Hey, you ever seen one of those multi team tag matches where not a lot really happens because there are so many teams that nothing can get going at all and no one is able to get anything going and the ending is a big mess with a team that didn’t do much stealing the win and it wasn’t bad but you’ve seen something just like it before? Well this was one of those matches.

US Title: Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin

Shelton is the Gold Standard and challenger. The announcers point out that no one has ever lost the title at the Bash and of course they treat it like the same show as the WCW incarnation. Shelton takes over with a headlock but Matt takes over with an armdrag of his own. A quick Pay Dirty (Little Jimmy) and Twist of Fate are both countered and Matt takes over again.

Matt tries to skin the cat but Shelton dropkicks him to the floor. Shelton rams him into the post to take over. The fans are into this and I presume they’re behind Hardy but I can’t really tell. It might be split. Matt tries a Side Effect but Shelton counters into an STO for two. The Dragon Whip looks to set up the Stinger Splash but Matt counters. Middle rope leg and sunset flip get two for Matt. Twist attempt is countered and Shelton looks for a middle rope belly to back superplex but Matt knocks him off. Moonsault gets knees and Pay Dirt gives Benjamin the title.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad but I really didn’t get into it. Matt was certainly better as a guy that was chasing the title rather than actually holding it. Matt would go on to win the ECW Title soon after this as Shelton would hold the US Title for like 8 months and then would just chill on ECW until being released in 2010.

On Monday, Punk said Batista saved him so that Batista would get his shot tonight because Punk is the easier victory. He says he’s not the biggest or the strongest or anything like that. He’s the man that proves everyone wrong, CM Punk, World Heavyweight Champion. I like that ending.

Here’s a video from Smackdown where HHH showed Edge cheating on Vickie with Fox (not yet a Diva).

ECW Title: Mark Henry vs. Tommy Dreamer

Henry is champion and Dreamer is challenging because he’s Tommy Dreamer and it’s the ECW Title. Oh Mike Adamle: how I forgot about you. Tony Atlas is with Henry here. Dreamer has Colin Delaney with him. Delaney is a jobber that Barry Horowitz would laugh at. Dreamer charges at Henry because he’s not that smart. Single leg fails miserably. Mark runs him down and this is pure dominance as expected. Henry steps on his face. That has to hurt.

Henry grabs the wrist and works on the arm for absolutely no logical reason. Dude YOU’RE MARK FREAKING HENRY! GO DESTROY A SMALL CITY! The fans correctly chant boring and I’d be doing it too….maybe. Now back to the arm. The fans try to cheer for Dreamer but he gets beaten even worse. A splash (called the World’s Strongest Slam by Adamle but corrected by Tazz) misses and here comes Dreamer. A neckbreaker gets two for Tommy. DDT puts Henry down but Atlas distracts. Dreamer goes after him and then goes up, where Delaney turns on him, shoving him off. The Slam ends this.

Rating: D-. What a boring match. Tazz freaking out over Delaney turning is kind of funny. This went nowhere at all and was a VERY boring match with Henry literally crushing him for most of the match, other than that weird arm stuff. Dreamer would beat up Delaney for awhile before they finally got rid of his worthless self.

We recap Shawn vs. Jericho. This is kind of a complicated one. So Shawn retired Flair at Mania and Batista was MAD about it. He demanded a match with Shawn and got it at Backlash. Jericho was referee for some reason. Shawn claimed to injure his knee and won anyway. Jericho had Shawn on the Highlight Reel and said Shawn faked it. Shawn denied it but Jericho persisted. Eventually Shawn admitted he was faking it but Jericho wanted more of a confession than that. It turned into them arguing about who was better and then Jericho accidentally (allegedly) injured Shawn’s eye. Shawn is coming back tonight.

Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels

They stare each other down and here we go. It’s a slugout to start and Jericho controls early. Shawn may have bad ribs but he manages to get in a shot at Jericho’s knee to take over. There’s a reverse Figure Four and Jericho is in trouble early on. Jericho gets in a shot though and the springboard dropkick to the apron makes Shawn backflip on the apron and land on the floor.

Jericho works on the ribs but mixes in some face shots (remember the eye) to show some very nice psychology. Shawn hits the forearm and nips up but the kick is countered into the Walls. He manages to get the rope and fires another kick which is blocked as well. Clothesline gets two for Shawn. Shawn loads up the big elbow but Chris crotches him. Jericho loads up a superplex but gets knocked off and Shawn can hit the elbow.

Here’s Jericho flunkie Lance Cade who breaks up the superkick but Shawn manages to avoid a Codebreaker attempt. Jericho gets a rollup for two and is then promptly launched to the floor. Shawn goes up and tries a moonsault to take out both guys but mostly splits them to crash to the floor. That looked PAINFUL. Jericho pops him with an elbow and the eye is bleeding. Jericho turns into a shark, going after the eye.

Shawn is covered in blood quickly and just has his hands up to try to defend himself but Jericho goes right for the eye with punches. Cade even gets in a shot. Shawn keeps saying don’t stop it. Jericho rams in headbutts and Shawn is in big trouble. Out of NOWHERE Shawn grabs a Crossface but Jericho breaks it pretty quickly. There is blood all over Jericho and Shawn.

Shawn makes the referee promise not to stop it so Jericho hammers away even more. They check it again and Jericho asks if Shawn said keep it going. He’s told Shawn said yes so Jericho kicks him in the face. Even Jericho’s hair has blood on it. Chris traps Shawn’s eyes and shouts in his face as he gets in a bunch of unprotected shots until the referee finally stops it.

Rating: B. It was a great beating and a great example of how blood can help a match and visual a lot, but it didn’t quite reach epic levels, probably due to the ending just being a repeat of everything that had happened for the majority of the match. They would have better matches coming up, but this certainly wasn’t a bad one.

Shawn gets his eye checked post match to eat up some of the ton of time they have left on this show.

Edge is surprised when JR asks him how he feels. He says HHH has taken away his personal life and this is all he has left. All Edge can do is take the WWE Title.

Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Natalya

This is for the inaugural title and there’s probably some stupid tournament that set this up. Michelle takes her to the mat and speeds things up. Natalya takes over and hooks a surfboard but Michelle counters (impressively so) into a heel hook attempt which is countered. Nattie hooks the Sharpshooter but Michelle gets the ropes. A second attempt is countered into the heel hook and Michelle wins the title.

Rating: D. The joke here was that hopefully Michelle enjoyed the Undertaker semen that came with that belt. I’m not sure how much anyone cared or if anyone on the planet that didn’t work for WWE thinks there was a need for another female title, but they unified it…eventually, as in like two years later.

Jericho comes out to interrupt the celebration and says keep your ticket stubs because this was the night of Shawn’s last match. Shawn has a detached retina, meaning he’s finished.

We recap the Raw Title match. Punk won MITB and cashed in on Edge after Batista destroyed Edge to open a Raw. Batista I guess too offense to Punk winning the title that way and treated Punk like an easy challenger, which to be fair is how he’s been treated since.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Batista

Punk looks like a kid. He has to stick and move to avoid the power game but Batista gets in a clothesline and boot for two. Batista gets sent to the floor and Punk hits a baseball slide. A suicide dive is mostly countered. I was at a house show about two weeks before this so I saw a lot of these spots before they happened here. Batista reverses a whip into the corner which Lawler calls a desperation move.

It’s amazing hearing Cole and Lawler as a decent commentary team. Cole is good at setting up King with softball questions to knock out of the park. Lawler needs someone to lead him in and then he can more than take care of himself on there. Batista hooks a camel clutch which is broken pretty quickly. There’s a leg lariat by Punk to send Big Dave to the floor. Top rope cross body gets two.

Punk goes for the corner knee but gets caught in a Bomb attempt. Batista takes him down and shakes the ropes. Here’s another try at the Bomb but he grabs the rope again. The corner knee hits and a GREAT high kick takes Big Dave down. Into the corner and Punk grabs the arm which he pulls back over the ropes. That looked cool. Punk hammers away but walks into a clothesline. A charge goes into the post and they head to the floor where Batista KILLS PUNK DEAD with a spinebuster. And here’s Kane for the DQ. Big Dave wins.

Rating: D+. I knew that ending was coming and I still rolled my eyes. This was getting to be something good, but at the end of the day Punk looked beaten and Kane came in. It’s REALLY not going to hurt Batista to go down to a rollup or something. Punk never really had a chance in this title reign and never lost the title. Hate that ending.

Wait…..HOW IS THAT A DOUBLE DQ???? KANE NEVER TOUCHE……oh screw it. Batista powerbombs Punk post match.

We recap Cena vs. JBL. JBL declared martial law because Punk was champion. He had private security carry Cena out. Cena and Cryme Tyme came out and helped Punk keep the title. This turned into the usual culture war of these two. A parking lot brawl was proposed and accepted. JBL attempted to run Cena over in one of the dumbest looking spots you’ll ever see. There was a camera in the car and from where Cena would have been sitting. Jibbles missed of course.

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

This is in “the parking lot” and likely was taped earlier today for the most part. JBL is in a shirt and tie and has a crowbar. He takes the tie off at least. They have the circle of cars set up and a referee out there. Something metal hits the ground but we don’t know where it was from. Now a car turns on and Cena drives it at the car JBL is standing on. Ok now it’s on.

Cena chokes him with jumper cables. Then he slams a car hood on him. Now he jumps JBL’s balls. That would kind of, um, KILL HIM. Cena picks up an oil drum and chucks it at a car which JBL tries to escape in. Bradshaw gets in some shots but nothing significant. They knock a car door off. Cena went through it so JBL takes over. Powerbomb on a car gets two. Cena gets dropped on the top of a car for two.

Cena goes through a window and isn’t busted open. Did they hit the blood quota earlier or something? This is really dull by the way. Cena is knocked down then thrown into the back of a car and JBL goes to get a gas can out of his limo. He covers the car with the gas and throws a lighter on it. Uh yeah I’m done here. They put it out but JBL is stealing a forklift. Cena gets out and Bradshaw is mad.

They brawl even more and Cena takes over, throwing JBL into a car then into a car. Cena gets the forklift and spears the car. He lifts the car up and drives the forklift into the arena. JBL gets beaten up on the stage. There’s the Shuffle and Cena loads up the FU. Instead of flipping the fool like a clam shelled cellular phone, he walks towards the car and JBL escapes and throws Cena off the stage into the windshield for the pin.

Rating: N/A. This had nothing to do with wrestling. It was bad, whatever it was. They got WAY too ridiculous here and I’m sure the fans loved seeing a total of maybe three minutes of this live. They were setting up JBL as the next challenger to Punk and Cena moved onto Batista, but this was still bad.

We recap Edge vs. HHH. The whole wedding thing is recapped again but in greater detail. I think that’s about it to the story.

HHH says he regrets nothing.

Smackdown World Title: HHH vs. Edge

How this is used at the Bash and not Wrestlemania I’m not sure. Edge takes him down immediately and they head to the floor. HHH throws him into the barricade and a big forearm back in the ring puts Edge outside again. HHH misses a charge and Edge gets a breather. A quick spear by Edge takes Trips down but the Game hammers away. HHH is champion if I forgot to mention that. There hasn’t been a lot of sustained contact in this.

Edge rams him into the barricade and then the apron a few times. Now to the table. Off to a body scissors to work on the injured ribs. HHH escapes and pounds Edge about the head and shoulders. A Canadian dropkick puts HHH down but he comes back with right hands and a clothesline. Facebuster puts Edge on the floor but Edge slides in so he can miss a baseball slide.

Edgecution might have knocked HHH out on the floor but he manages to kick out back inside. Edge goes up but jumps into a slingshot and a DDT of HHH’s own. That’s still my favorite move. It only gets two here but it looked pretty good. Edge-O-Matic gets two. It’s the reverse X-Factor if no one has any idea what that is anymore.

Spear misses and HHH rolls him up for two. Edge kicks him in the head to put HHH right back down as we’re running low on time. Spinebuster takes Edge down but the Pedigree is countered by ramming HHH into the corner. Edge superplexes him down and here’s Alicia Fox. She tries to slid the title in to Edge but Vickie comes out and breaks it up. Now the girls fight in the ring and the fans seem into it. Edge accidentally spears Vickie which I think is what put her back in the wheelchair. The distraction lets the Pedigree end it.

Rating: B-. Good match but it felt kind of there. It’s good but it feels like an afterthought instead of a big time title match, which is what these two should be. Vickie and Alicia had to get into this because that was by far the bigger story and I’m more than ok with it, but it didn’t help the match seeming just there. It was good though.

Overall Rating: C. This was almost the same as the previous year’s but not quite as good from a wrestling perspective. The main event isn’t as good but the show wasn’t bad overall. 2008 was just kind of there as a year for WWE. They were getting some stuff together but it really wasn’t that great. Still though, this wasn’t bad but I’m never going to want to see it again, which happens a lot with these shows.

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Great American Bash 2007
Date: July 22, 2007
Location: HP Pavilion, San Jose, California
Attendance: 13,034
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Tazz

Back to the WWE again and we’re back to double branded shows with this one. Therefore we have two world title matches tonight in the form of Khali defending against Kane and Batista, plus Cena vs. Lashley in a match that I’ve always hoped the company would be able to present on a bigger stage. Other than that there isn’t much huge on here, at least not from an historical perspective. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is being here for a party. This transitions into talking about the main events.

The announcers talk about the show. I’ve always felt sorry for the ECW guys who have to sit there for three hours and call an 8 minute match total.

US Title: Matt Hardy vs. MVP

This feud went on and on. To give you an idea, this is July of 07 right? Matt won the title in April of 08. Matt armdrags him and MVP bails to the floor. Back in and they go to the mat. Both guys go for arm control but MVP gets sent to the floor. Plancha to the floor gets two back inside. Back in and things slow down a bit. Test of strength goes on and Mattt grabs a suplex for two.

Matt sets for what I’d assume was a tornado DDT but MVP yanks him off. Boot to the head gets two. Off to a double arm hold but Matt bites his leg. Well that’s a counter. MVP pounds on Matt’s bad head and neck. Fireman’s carry results in him just dropping him without going off his feet. Matt gets a clothesline but when he goes up he loses his balance and might have hit his head.

MVP goes up and hooks a superplex off the top. He can’t follow up though due to slamming his head on the mat. That gets a delayed two. MVP finally juts rams Matt’s head into the mat. An attempt at a belly to back superplex is countered into a cross body (which Cole calls a bulldog because Cole is an idiot) for two. NOW a bulldog gets two. Middle rope legdrop gets two. Twist of Fate and Playmaker are countered. Side Effect gets two for Matt. A cradle gets two for the champ but the big boot misses in the corner. This is getting good. They go to the corner and MVP gets a running boot to the chest. Playmaker ends this clean.

Rating: B-. Good solid opener here which is what they needed to go with. The Cruiserweight have a match later but sometimes it’s nice to have a more serious title defense to start things off. The matches these two had usually worked but the problem was getting to these matches with all the wasted time in between.

Dusty Rhodes says he’s ready for Orton. It’s a bullrope match and I have no idea why it’s occurring. It’s way too late for the Legend Killer thing I’d think. Dusty talks about everyone that came before Orton and respect and all that jazz. He tells a story about a cow and a bull and makes noises.

Cruiserweight Title: Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Shannon Moore vs. Jamie Noble vs. Funaki

It’s a five man match but remember that this is a Cruiserweight Open, as in anyone can get in on this. Chavo is champion coming in. This is the dying days of the title as this was thrown on the card yesterday with no story. They did these kind of matches for probably a year. Hornswoggle is on the floor and hides under the ring. Chavo tries to run but gets thrown outside instead. This is one fall to a finish.

This is one of those matches where you can’t really keep up with anything so the whole thing is pretty all over the place. Chavo comes back in and Cole talks about his Latina wife. Shannon gets two on Chavo but Funaki hits a cross body onto both of them for a combined two. Powerslam gets two for Noble but Chavo breaks it up again. Chavo hooks some freaky rollup on Yang and transitions into a half crab but it gets broken up by Funaki.

Moore slams Funaki into the buckle HARD. Noble vs. Moore now. Make that Noble vs. Funaki. See what I mean about how there’s no point in trying to call this? Funaki gets an enziguri for two on Moore. Gory Bomb to Funaki gets two for the champ. Almost everyone goes to the floor so Yang sets for a dive. Chavo stops it and it’s Tower of Doom time. Noble is down and here’s Horny to come off the top with a Tadpole Splash to win the title.

Rating: C-. Like I said there’s only so much you can do in these. The ending is totally legal when you think about it: he’s certainly small enough and it was an Open so anyone can enter at any time right? This wasn’t anything great but it was very clear that the title was done. And no it wasn’t Horny that killed it. The belt was long since dead.

HHH returns at Summerslam.

Video on Lashley’s career, including his amateur stuff. They’re pushing him hard as the uncrowned champion.

Carlito vs. Sandman

This is a Singapore Cane on a Pole match. For some reason that absolutely no one is quite sure of, Sandman got a midcard push on Raw for a few weeks in 2007. Carlito spits the apple in Sandman’s face to tick him off. You win by pinfall or submission here. Sandman works on the arm to take him down. That’s not exactly what I was expecting but ok then. Both go for the cane and both fail. A dropkick puts Sandy down but Sandman stops a climb attempt. That gets repeated a few times as this needs to end quickly. Sandman gets the cane and walks into a Backstabber for the pin. Carlito never touched the cane.

Rating: F. This was on a PPV. Why in the world did this exist? Like I said I still don’t get the point of Sandman’s time on Raw and I don’t think anyone else did either. Allegedly there’s a point to this feud but they didn’t really bother telling us what it was. Boring match and no point to being here at all.

Orton says he’s glad Dusty is in a good mood. Todd Grisham is almost as tall as Orton. Randy brags about how Shawn can’t even remember that today is his birthday after he punted Shawn in the head. A Punt is promised for Dusty as well.

Women’s Title: Candace Michelle vs. Melina

Candace has the title coming in here. I’m still not sure if I liked Candace or not. She looked good but other than that, there’s nothing to her at all. Melina takes her to the mat and has furry boots. It looks pretty clear that we’re in the full on long Raw match format here. Candace hits a Hennig necksnap and they exchange some covers.

I’m not really paying attention to this on the grounds of it’s rather boring. Melina grabs the arm and this match continues to go nowhere. Candace fights back and oh my goodness I remember why I didn’t like her. She SUCKS at attacking. Top rope cross body gets two. Neckbreaker gets two for Melina as well as screams. Candace wins with a freaking standing bulldog of all things.

Rating: D-. This is pretty much the same result as the previous match: there’s no point in the match being here but this one had looks and Melina gyrations. The match didn’t mean anything and it was just a Raw match that went about twice as long. Thankfully Beth would win the title from Candance soon, as well as three years later when Kelly played the role of Candace in basically the exact same story.

Mania is coming to Orlando.

Matt and Jeff talk in the back when Candace comes up. She has a bottle of water and, ahem, adult, music comes on as she pours it over herself. Well at least they admit the girls are just eye candy. Ron Simmons comes up to say the line.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga

Jeff is challenging and that Candace scene was in place of a recap. Umaga immediately takes him down and they go to the floor. Jeff fights back but walks into a Samoan Drop which must be like learning to walk at the Samoan wrestling school. Umaga pounds him down and hooks a nerve hold. Jeff looks more like he’s coming down off a really bad trip. Must be a Sunday. And now it’s back to the nerve hold for a VERY long time.

Jeff gets up and tries a slam but guess how well that goes. Umaga crashes down onto Jeff’s chest and then does it again. This has been a squash so far. A middle rope headbutt misses and both of them are down. Out to the floor and there’s a plancha, thankfully by Jeff so that the plate tectonics don’t shift. A dropkick gets two for Jeff. The running hip bump in the corner misses and Jeff hooks a Twist of Fate for two.

The fans are way into this too which is always a good sign. Umaga charges and hits the ring post. There’s a Swanton but Umaga BARELY kicks out. That seems to wake Umaga up though so he throws Jeff around like a skinny man that owes him drug money. The corner hip shot and the Samoan Spike kill Jeff deader than an overdose on every drug known to man and we’re done.

Rating: C+. This was one of the opening steps in the process of Jeff’s rise to the world title a year and a half later. He would show signs of hammering away on Umaga but then he would come up short. Jeff would continue to rise up and get closer and closer to the big wins, even getting the Rumble title shot in January, before FINALLY winning the title in 18 months. Yes Virginia, there used to be world title pushes that lasted longer than two months.

Same kind of video on Cena that was shown on Lashley earlier.

ECW Title: John Morrison vs. CM Punk

Morrison is freshly….well Morrison. He was Johnny Nitro forever and this is Punk’s second shot I think. This is a rematch from last month’s show which was supposed to be Benoit’s night but some stuff came up. Like murder and suicide. Anyway, this is happening because of Morrison wondering what Punk’s name means. The old ECW Title looks like a toy. Punk takes him to the mat and they fight over the arm.

Slingshot suplex gets two for Punk. Monkey flip out of the corner sends Morrison flying and we go outside. Morrison takes over out there and shoots the half for two in the ring. GTS is countered and Morrison takes him down for two. Wheelbarrow slam gets two. Up to the corner they go but Morrison gets dropped to the floor and a cross body off the top puts both guys down.

Morrison rolls him up but grabs the rope so it doesn’t count. Punk fires off kicks for two and the knee in the corner looks to set up the bulldog but Morrison counters and tries to walk out. Punk makes the stop and tries the springboard clothesline but jumps into a kick for the pin. That was a quick ending.

Rating: C+. Another pretty good match here but not a classic. Punk wasn’t quite a master of his craft yet but he would be world champion in a year if my memory is right. Not bad but again, it was really just an extended TV match. That being said, the ECW Title might as well have just been a title defended on TV anyway. It had no business on PPV for the most part.

We recap Orton vs. Rhodes. Rhodes had gone into the Hall of Fame earlier this year and is certainly a legend. Orton is a legend killer and one day he walked up to Rhodes. Cody tried to defend him but Randy slapped Dusty. Disrespect was mentioned and clearly you can see the connection from that to a cowbell and bullrope right? Do cowboys ever win those?

Randy Orton vs. Dusty Rhodes

This is the pinfall version instead of the touching all the corners version, making it a bit better. I can’t complain about hearing Common Man or whatever that song is called again. Randy doesn’t really want to get tied up to the rope and I can’t say I blame him. I think the bell rang and that this is counting. The problem is there’s a bell on the rope so it’s hard to tell. Blast it there’s the real bell. I was hoping we were almost half done.

Comedy to start as Dusty takes him down with the rope around his feet. Dusty elbows him down and crotches him with the rope. They go to the floor and Dusty misses a bell shot to the head against the post. There’s a long beating on the floor and back inside we go. Orton gets in a shot to the knee and here comes the booing. Orton hooks a long chinlock to fill in most of the match. Dusty comes back with the elbows but a bell to the head gets the pin for Randy.

Rating: D-. What in the world were you expecting here? At the end of the day, Dusty is an old man and he’s against a young superstar. That being said, at least they didn’t make this idiotic by doing something like making him a heel. I mean, can you imagine how stupid you have to be to make an old man attempt to be a big threat? I mean, can you imagine being intimidated of a guy in his early 60s?

And for those of you that don’t get basic sarcasm, I was making fun of TNA.

Cody blocks a punt post match.

Smackdown World Title: Kane vs. Great Khali vs. Batista

Kane is a face here….I think. There was no video recap so how am I supposed to remember a story from four and a half years ago? Khali is champion and Batista kept wanting to slay the giant. The champ runs over both of them and chokes Batista down in the corner. Oh apparently Khali won the title three days earlier on Smackdown in a battle royal after Edge got hurt. I remember that. That must be why there was no backstory.

This has been ALL Khali so far. Both guys get nerve holds and chokeslams. Khali of course stops to pose. Out to the floor and Khali loads up the announce table. Kane tries a chokeslam through it and Batista tries the Bomb but both of them are easily broken up. They double team him and get a half spinebuster/half chokeslam through the table. That was kind of cool.

Kane hits a side slam for two back in the ring. Big Dave gets the same off a powerslam. He loads up a superplex but Kane knocks him off and hits the clothesline off the top. Here comes the chokeslam but Khali comes back and takes it instead. Batista and Kane go to the floor and the Big Bald goes down. Back to Khali vs. Batista with Big Dave getting two off a spinebuster. Kane charges into the post and Batista tries the Bomb on him but gets backdropped. Chokeslam to Batista gets two. The next attempt hits but Khali pulls Dave out. Punjabi Plunge to Kane keeps the title on Khali.

Rating: C-. I know a lot of people are going to bash this match but the idea here is simple: everyone is a monster so what’s the point in trying anything other than their biggest moves? They’re not going to work so just stick with the big stuff. Fun match but not exactly a technical masterpiece. Still decent, all things considered though.

HHH is still coming back at Summerslam. Nothing has changed with that.

Here’s Booker with Sharmell. He says HHH isn’t the King of Kings because he’s the only King. Speaking of which, Jerome, why are you wearing a crown? Booker demands an explanation and the surrendering of said crown. Lawler says come get it. Booker calls this treason and then leaves with Sharmell. I’m assuming this is a Raw story now?

They really try to hype up Cena vs. Lashley as a dream match.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Bobby Lashley

They fight over a lockup to start and Cena is shoved into a corner. Lashley takes him down with a test of strength but Cena comes back to booing. He’s been champion for ten months here so the fans aren’t that thrilled with him. Lashley takes over with the power game but Cena counters into an STFU attempt so Lashley runs. Basically this is a chess match as both guys try to get ahead but neither is being very aggressive.

Lashley grabs a release t-bone suplex for two. He might be bleeding just a bit. Cena gets whipped into the corner and a delayed suplex gets two. Cena grabs a suplex of his own out of nowhere for a very delayed two. Lashley gets a modified gutbuster to mess up Cena’s ribs and it’s down to a body vice. JR and King turn into idiots by saying they can’t remember any opponent with Lashley’s amateur credentials challenging Cena.

Cena fires off a pair of ProtoBombs and the Shuffle for two. FU is easily escaped and a powerslam gets two. Lashley hooks a torture rack and then drops him into what we would call Shock Treatment. Out of nowhere Cena hits an FU but can’t cover. Lashley’s spear attempt is countered into the STFU and the place pops. Weird crowd man. Lashley FINALLY gets a rope and this is getting good.

John complains to the referee about….something, and walks into a BIG spear for two. The fans are way into this too. They go to the corner and Lashley loads up something that appears to be a superplex, but Cena counters into a somewhat weak FU off the middle rope for the pin. That ending came out of nowhere, kind of.

Rating: B+. It’s an excellent match and they were getting close to the heavyweight slugfest format but they weren’t able to get there with it ending like that. It needed a lot more near falls. Anyway, the match was good, although Lashley never really reached this level again afterwards. He would be “injured” by Kennedy 8 days later and hasn’t set foot in a WWE ring since as far as I remember.

Overall Rating: C+. This show worked pretty well and was a fairly solid B-level PPV with a very good main event. However, the rest of the card isn’t all that great. It’s not all that bad either so I’d call this show fine overall. It’s nothing that you’re going to want to go out of your way to see again, but the main event is good and while some of the matches are bad, they’re the shortest ones. Decent show and the best overall in this series so far.

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Best of the WWF Volume 8
Host: Gene Okerlund
Commentators: Alfred Hayes, Gorilla Monsoon

This is one of the last ones I have left so for any of you getting annoyed with me doing these over and over again, counting these two I have four to go so it’s almost over. This one is from mid 86 so we’re in a far different era than the last one of these that we took a look at. Let’s get to it.

Same opening video, same comments from me about it.

Hart Foundation vs. Killer Bees

This is from MSG. I remember one of these four (I think Bret) saying these teams wrestled a few thousand times so they know how to work well together. Bret is brand new (to WWF) here. Anvil and Brunzell get us going. Brunzell tries to get in a power contest with him for some reason and it goes as well as you would expect. Jim tries to ram into him and it hurts him more than Neidhart.

Crowd is white hot here and the fans go nuts for a drop toehold. Brunzell works on the leg which is the best thing he could do. Anvil goes after him with the power game and here’s Bret for the first time. The referee has a small afro here. Bret is a little more muscular here than I’m used to seeing him as. Off to a chinlock and Blair is in control. The crowd is amazing here as they get into the tiniest of things like Blair getting up from a chinlock.

There’s the tag to Brunzell but he goes after the wrong guy. Bret knees him in the back and it’s Brunzell in trouble again. Back to the chinlock by Anvil this time. A quick DEVASTATING bearhug leads to Bret coming in but Blair saves a pin. Again the crowd here amazes me. Bret hooks a front facelock and he keeps the tag from being made again. Brunzell gets free but Anvil gets Blair’s attention on the floor.

Time for some back work as Brunzell is in trouble. I thought it was usually Blair that took the beating for the most part. Hart hits a dropkick for a very delayed two. This is your standard old school tag formula which means that the main criteria is how talented the guys are in at selling the stuff they’re doing. These four are great, so that should mean a good match.

There’s your tag to Blair who clears house. Small package gets two. Heel miscommunication would seem to be the ending but Bret kicks out. There’s an abdominal stretch to Bret and everything breaks down again. The Bret corner chest bump gets two. O’Connor Roll gets a VERY close two. A blind tag brings Brunzell back in and he kicks Bret’s head off with a dropkick but the time runs out at probably 20:00.

Rating: B-. These t

wo having a good match in the mid 80s is like saying the sun came up this morning. These guys were practically memorizing each other at this point and like I said, they wrestled each other a few hundred times at least. This was no shock and would have been great with a clean finish or a finish that gave us a winner. Still though, that’s a reason to come back for more.

Terry Gibbs vs. Dan Spivey

Gibbs is a name you hear popping up every now and then. Spivey was brought in for the simple reason of he looked exactly like Barry Windham who had flipped out and went home. Seriously, that’s why Spivey has a job. This is joined in progress with Spivey being knocked out to the floor. The next few matches are about newcomers and in this case it’s Spivey. Elbow drop gets two for Terry. Time for a bearhug which goes on WAY too long.

Spivey comes back but misses an elbow. Gibbs takes over again but jumps into a bearhug of his own. Gibbs thinks of the smart idea of raking the eyes. Spivey comes back again and this time the elbow hits. A legdrop gets the same. Did I mention he has blonde hair and yellow tights? Bulldog ends this for Bar…I mean Spivey.

Rating: D. What we saw of this was bad. Gibbs is nothing of note and Spivey is there because he was tall and blonde and I guess they were hoping no one would notice the difference. Bad match here, mainly because neither guy is worth anything in the ring, which is what it all breaks down to.

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Moondog Rex

Haynes is the newcomer here and we’re in Boston. A pretty loud boring chant begins while Rex is on offense. Haynes starts his comeback and the fans really aren’t all that interested. Rex is busted a bit as he comes back in and hammers away. Full nelson by Haynes ends this quick. Not enough to rate but it was nothing to see at all.

Junkyard Dog vs. King Kong Bundy

Back to MSG. This isn’t about newcomers in case you were confused. Hayes thinks Bundy will be the man that takes the title off Hogan. I’ll have what he’s having please. This is going to be a lot of kicking and punching I think. Bundy knocks him down but the missed elbow lets JYD use the all fours headbutts. Dog comes back with clubbing shots but Bundy takes him down with a clothesline.

Knee drop gets two for the white dude. Dog punches away as that’s about all he knows how to do. A bunch of those get two. A falling headbutt misses but that shouldn’t hurt him should it? They slug it out and a double clothesline puts both guys down. Things slow down and it’s a chinlock by Bundy. The referee checks Dog’s arm and even though it drops three times, they check it again and the fourth time it stays up so that’s good enough I guess. Dog makes his comeback but Bobby trips him and that’s a DQ.

Rating: D-. And yet I didn’t hate it. The problem with this was that it was all punching and kicking. I mean that was probably 95% of the match. The fans kind of reacted to it but then again people watch Jersey Shore so there you go. Nothing to see here but what were you really expecting here?

Jimmy Jack Funk vs. Tony Garea

Funk is the newcomer here. Joined in progress again with Funk holding a chinlock. Off to a chinlock…again. Jimmy has Jimmy in the corner. Garea counters a suplex and Hart desperately tries to convince Gorilla that his man will win. They slug it out from their knees and here’s Tony’s comeback. Tony tries a cross body but Jack catches it and after about 4 hours, turns it over into a powerslam for the pin.

Rating: D-. Funk is another guy that I never got the appeal of. I think they tried to put him into the Funk family to try to give him credibility but it didn’t work at all. Garea was a good hand to have but his time had passed for the most part. Basically imagine a face version of William Regal.

Harley Race vs. Lanny Poffo

Race is the “newcomer” here, although they openly say he’s wrestled for twenty years. Clipped to Poffo taking something like a brainbuster on the floor. The fans are quiet but this is the old Race, as in the old school style of him. Top rope headbutt (which Race is credited with inventing) puts Poffo down and a regular one puts him on the floor. Poffo starts his comeback and hits a flying headscissors to bring Race over the top and back in. Race gets him in a fireman’s carry and drops him throat first across the top rope to break up the comeback though. Fisherman’s suplex ends this. Not enough to grade but Race was his usual great self, even though the match was dull.

Time for a bodyslam challenge. Studd offered a $15,000 reward to anyone who could slam him. Oh wait it’s a match with that as a stipulation. Got it.

Big John Studd vs. Ricky Hunter/Jim Powers

I just can’t escape this Powers guy. Before the match starts though King Tonga (Meng/Haku) comes out and says he can slam him. Studd says wait your turn. Both guys try to slam him which doesn’t work at all. Bruno is on commentary and he’s about one step shy of saying “dudes, fail.” They finally figure out that you have to beat on him and then slam him when he’s stunned. The idea is fine but it doesn’t work at all. Studd destroys them and pins Hunter with a slam.

King Tonga runs in and slams him with ease. You know what that means.

Big John Studd vs. King Tonga

Studd immediately slams him during the opening bell to take over. Tonga goes for a slam but it gets countered. That’s the whole point of the match: Tonga wants to slam Studd. Off to a chinlock but Tonga comes back with some martial arts. Another slam attempt sends them tumbling to the floor and it’s a double countout. No rating again but this was a one move match.

They brawl on the floor post match with Tonga getting the better of it. The brawl and teasing going back in goes on longer than the match. Now they get back in and brawl as there’s a referee in there for some reason. Tonga headbutts him to the floor and that’s enough for John.

Ted Arcidi vs. Terry Gibbs

Arcidi is a strongman and the newcomer here. Yeah they’re still on that. Arcidi overpowers him and there’s an oil complaint. He no sells everything to start and gets a full nelson but Gibbs makes the ropes. After some quick offense (as in punching/pounding, which Gorilla calls unconventional), Ted gets a quick bearhug to end it. Just a squash.

Cousin Junior vs. Hercules Hernandez

Herc is the newcomer and Junior is a hillbilly. Joined in progress again and Herc (with wild hair) is holding a chinlock. There’s no commentary for this so far for some reason. Oh ok there is but it’s very quiet. Herc works him over and gets two off an elbow. Back to the chinlock. Junior makes his comeback but gets slingshotted (slungshot?) to the floor. Herc punches him back down and Junior isn’t wearing any shoes. Junior comes back with a sunset flip but Hernandez counters that as well.

After more punches, there’s another chinlock. Junior makes his comeback but gets caught by a kind of superkick and a jumping knee. Herc isn’t exactly Lou Thesz out there but he slams Junior to expand the repertoire. He goes up but a jumping punch misses. Herc reverses a sloppy O’Connor Roll for the pin and I think he had some tights. Well, overalls.

Rating: F. These newcomers have a lot to learn. Junior was part of the Hillbilly Family which was around to give Hillbilly Jim something to keep him on screen while he recovered from a broken leg. I think they were around before that too but not in as prominent of a role. This was really bad.

Intercontinental Title: Pedro Morales vs. Adrian Adonis

Since Adrian never held this title, Pedro is defending. Joined in progress (again) as this is an Archives match. They slug it out and the fans are of course way into Pedro. He knocks Adonis to the floor and is slow even here in what I think is about 1980. They ram each other into various things and Pedro misses a shoulder back inside. That ring sounds very metallic. The American hits a German on the Puerto Rican and they do the suplex but one guy gets his shoulder up in time spot to keep the title on Pedro. Too short to rate but bad as always on this tape.

Adrian beats Pedro up and hits him with the belt post match, only to get knocked to the floor himself.

Pat Patterson vs. Lou Albano

This is from 1982. Patterson is loved, Albano is hated. Albano immediately goes for the foreign object but Patterson knocks it out of his hands before the opening bell. He clocks Lou with it to bust him open so Albano Does The Mario for a bit. Albano gets knocked around for maybe two minutes and walks out. Patterson was just crazy over in New York.

Jake Roberts vs. Ricky Steamboat

This is also joined in progress. The idea here is that Jake DDTed him on the concrete on SNME, igniting a huge feud. This is just one of those stops along the way. Steamboat fires off martial arts to send Jake outside and the referee goes all nuts on Steamboat and shoves him away. Back in and Steamboat speeds things up but Jake catches him with a right hand to take over.

Dragon almost gets sent to the floor but he hangs on and hits a sunset flip for no count as Jake pops him in the face. Steamboat comes back with some neckbreakers but a splash attempt gets knees. Out to the floor and Jake wants to DDT him out there again but Ricky rams him into the barricade to escape. Back in and there’s a top rope chop. Jake is busted open. The referee pulls Steamboat off AGAIN and Ricky is getting ticked off. There’s a THIRD time and Jake gets in a shot as a result. Steamboat finally says screw it and shoves the referee for a DQ.

Rating: C-. What a breath of air this was. It wasn’t a great match or anything due to the annoying referee but when you’ve sat through an hour of Ted Arcidi and Jimmy Jack Funk, a Steamboat match sounds like water in the desert. This was ok but they would have far better brawls with far less annoying referees.

Overall Rating: F. Oh this was bad. The whole “newcomers” angle didn’t mean anything because the matches sucked. If I knew these were the next generation, I’d be getting some shoes on and going to the library instead of looking to see when WWF was on TV next. Just awful although the opening tag was good. Imagine: giving talented people a good deal of time and you get a good match.

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This was announced on Raw tonight.  This is…A pretty good idea.  Miz is a guy that can go out there and do whatever for about 30-40 minutes if need be.  You can have him do stuff like the Shawn role in 95 or Benoit/Orton in 04.  Someone like that has to be there and Miz is as good a choice as any to have in there for a good chunk of the match until the main people get in.

Thoughts?

Royal Rumble 2007
Date: January 28, 2007
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: JBL, Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Jim Ross

Well, there are two main differences here. First off is ECW is back. They’re still complete and utter crap as they tried to be a legit place and not AAA, so take that for what it’s worth. The other thing is Angle is gone, having went to TNA where he still is today in a SHOCKER. That’s not hyperbole either as it legitimately was a stunning turn of events. This was the first real step for TNA to show that they were legit and it’s still an awesome moment to this day.

As for the people still on Vince’s payroll, we have Batista vs. Kennedy and Cena vs. Umaga in a last man standing match, both of which are of course for the titles. If nothing else these are perfect Rumble title matches so let’s get to this show. Also, something historic happens here which I’ll get to later on.

The intro is the standard thing about the title matches and the Rumble, with the main focus being on the Rumble and Cena. That’s fine. They do however mess up and say that the Road to Mania has been around for 20 years now. No it hasn’t, as the Mania tie in didn’t become official until 93. Look back at the first two shows: Duggan won, and wound up losing in the first round of the tournament.

In 89 Studd won and was a guest referee at Mania. This may be relatively common knowledge, but just in case someone here hasn’t noticed, Vince likes to rewrite history every now and then. This is being billed as the most star studded Rumble in history. I haven’t looked at the entrants but I’m guessing that’s not true given some of the shows I’ve seen. Oh and the ECW guys are Extremists here.

Hardys vs. MNM

Melina is amazing looking to say the least. I know I often say that there’s no real point to this feud, but in this case there really isn’t much of one. MNM had broken up as the Hardys had reunited but rather than as a team they’re more like two singles guys teaming, which I usually hate but the history together makes it ok.

The Hardys were on a Survivor Series team together so they restarted the team and for the awful December 2 Dismember show (we’ll get to that someday) they threw out an open challenge which MNM accepted. This was supposed to be a one night reunion so the next month when they teamed up again in a 4 team TLC match, Mercury took one of the sickest bumps ever which was completely by accident.

Paul London did the seesaw thing with a ladder where he jumped on one side to launch the other up and the corner slammed into Mercury’s face and completely shattered his nose and part of his eye. It looked awful and he’s still got a protective mask on. Jeff is the IC Champion here. Oh and they’re the Hardys, not the Hardy Boys. You can really see the strides Nitro (Morrison) has made here and it’s impressive. Apparently Matt has a dislocated jaw.

They actually bring up a decent point here as they say that since Matt has a bad jaw, he hasn’t been able to eat solid food and might not have his peak energy. For once, that works. Jeff’s pop is epic. The beauty of the way the Hardys fight is that even if they botch the heck out of most of what they do, it fits their style and it could be believable that they meant to do that. Melina is letting loose those screams which I actually like.

Ross says he hasn’t made a lot of women scream. I’ll leave that one up to you guys. Jeff is so spotty that it’s insane. I usually don’t notice it, but DANG he’s bad here. This match feels like they were told to go out there and have an epic tag match rather than just having one and that’s not a good thing. MNM is ok, but at the same time this match is just sloppy and that’s hurting it a lot.

The crowd is about half into this but at the same time they’re not into it if that makes sense. Ross mentions that this is a one fall match to open the show. Why don’t they have more 2/3 falls matches? Those can be fun when they’re done right but you never see them again.

Matt gets the hot tag to start completely dominating the match. The usual double finisher ends it which was really quite lackluster. Oh and apparently Matt is on Smackdown and Jeff is on Raw, completely going against the theory of the freaking brand split as it comes closer and closer to dying every year.

Rating: B-. This just wasn’t that good. I like that they were trying to have a big time tag match, but these teams just weren’t clicking. It was FAR better at December 2 Dismember, but I think here that they were trying to top that match which was just a bad idea. This match was all kinds of sloppy and the ending wasn’t anything special. This was ok at its best and too long at its worst.

We go to the back where Teddy Long and Coach are running the drawing and Kelly is there barely dressed. Edge shows up, leading to him calling Coach Coacher and Coach calling Edge Edger. Take me now. Kelly was still an exhibitionist at the time and loved to tell everyone that. Rated RKO were the tag champions here so Orton shows up. Let the gay jokes begin. King Booker shows up to make fun of them as this is just rather stupid and unfunny.

Ad for the All Grown Up Wrestlemania, which was a campaign I actually liked for a change.

Thanks to a band we’ve never heard of for a song that has no bearing on the show and won’t be heard again.

We recap Test vs. Lashley, which more or less consisted of Test “dominating” ECW and wanting a title match because of it. There was a triple threat with RVD in there somewhere too that meant nothing at all. Test is apparently an impact player.

ECW Title: Test vs. Bobby Lashley

Take a wild guess as to how this is going to go. Just take a guess. Test was a guy that Vince kept trying to push but it never worked. That might have had something to do with Test having all the momentum in the world and Vince pushing Big Show instead back in 99 when Austin left. Oh yeah Big Show is gone now too. Lashley was another guy that Vince was seemingly ready to pull the trigger on but never got to do so which kind of sucks.

Lashley does the Lesnar entrance where he jumps to the apron and the pyro goes off. That would be more impressive if X-Pac wasn’t the first guy to do it often. There’s no big match feeling here at all. This is as basic of a match as you could imagine. It’s like they were reading a book about how to have a power vs. power match.

Lashley dominates for awhile, Test sends him into the post, Lashley gets a short comeback, Test hits the big boot and Lashley kicks out, so Test walks out. Seriously, that’s the entire 8 minute match.

Rating: D-. What in the world was the point of this? What was the point of ECW as a whole back then? When did we reach the point where ECW had a back then? Anyway, this was really weak as there was just no point to this whatsoever and the match completely failed. Lashley wasn’t that solid yet and Test didn’t help matters in the slightest. This didn’t go well at all and it showed badly here. Horrible match with a stupid finish.

Cena is in the back getting looked at by the doctor. Umaga injured his ribs the Monday before. Vince comes in and says that Cena won’t be able to forfeit as Cena can’t see him. I really hate Vince at times.

No Way Out promo. My goodness that was an AWFUL show.

We recap Kennedy vs. Batista. The idea here is that Kennedy has beaten 6 world champions in a year, so he’s getting a title shot here. Kennedy won a Beat the Clock Sprint to get the shot. I’ve always liked that idea, at least to an extent. I think Kennedy stole Norcal’s shirt.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Mr. Kennedy

Kennedy cuts a promo before the match saying exactly what you would expect him to say. Kennedy had no official move yet so he’s unlikely to win. I think it was a neckbreaker or a DDT or something like that but he changed it every week. JBL keeps trying to offer analysis and keeps yelling at Cole for interrupting him which gets funny. At least it’s not Joey Styles because he would have a black eye from it.

Kennedy uses a weird as heck looking leg lock. Imagine a figure four, but with the guy that’s in it on his stomach. It looked rather awesome. A knee to the leg causes JBL to declare that’s how you win a world title. I thought it was by getting a pin or a submission on a world champion in a title match but what do I know? This is mainly Kennedy working on the knee, which is smart but it’s the safe way to go.

With Kennedy being allegedly the future of the company, shouldn’t he do something that’s a bit more interesting or fresh? Batista makes his comeback, actually selling the knee (PAY ATTENTION TAKER!) and goes for the Bomb. It doesn’t work though as Kennedy shoves him into the referee.

He gets a low blow and the neckbreaker but we have no referee. There’s a very loud and very noticeable Kennedy chant, which thankfully was listened to this year as he would win MITB. However, due to about 1000 injuries nothing would come of it. Batista hits the Batista Bomb for the easy win. JBL freaking out over it is kind of funny.

Rating: B-. This was pretty good for what it was I thought. It wasn’t supposed to be a classic showdown but rather a token title defense for Batista so that he could manage to get something else under his belt and get Kennedy the title shot that he had earned. There’s nothing at all wrong with that and it worked. The match itself wasn’t that great, but the point here wasn’t to have a great match but to make Batista and Kennedy look good and that’s what happened.

Hornswoggle shows up to pick his number. He beats up Coach after getting one. Oh looks it’s Khali and Horny because that joke never gets old. He takes three of them and leaves two, allowing Kelly to make a balls joke and Ron Simmons to show up to validate his existence.

The Marine is on DVD.

Mania promo, set to Ladies and Gentlemen by Saliva. They actually mention that at their concerts. Saliva is in the crowd.

So Umaga had been an unbeatable monster that challenged Cena for the title at New Year’s Revolution but lost so naturally he gets another title match at the Rumble. The idea is that Cena could barely keep Umaga down for three so ten is impossible. Umaga crushed Cena with a splash through a table at Raw. You know, I wonder how you can have more than one last man standing match. Wouldn’t that mean there have been more than one last men standing, which is impossible?

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Umaga

The end of the video package sounded like Taker’s music for some reason. Ok I’m back now, as Lillian with her hair pulled back and more or less wearing a swimsuit as it’s a top that ties behind her neck and one of those nearly invisible skirts she wears. Lawler says that Umaga reminds him of King Kong. You know, the guy that lost in the end. The start is of course, Cena getting his face kicked in by Umaga because he’s injured and can’t breathe.

And you know, because Umaga is a monster and Cena is the second coming of Hogan so naturally he has to be beaten down to get us to the big comeback at the end of the match. This was around three months into Cena’s year long reign that made him the most hated man in wrestling. On a completely unrelated note, Lee, Ricky and I joined the forums about three weeks before this show. Umaga puts the steps into the ring but when Cena lifts them, it’s an amazing feat of strength.

He throws them at the Samoan, but here it looks awful as the camera shows perfectly the Umaga takes it on his hands. When Kane did the same spot a few months ago, it looked and sounded great. This looked like them trying to replicate it and failing miserably. We get a bearhug, which at least makes sense here. The fans want tables. I could go for a nice lawn chair actually.

The steps are put up in the corner and Umaga does the hip ramming but misses which would actually hurt. That and a step shot gets a 7. The announcers are completely pro Cena here and aren’t even trying to be diplomatic. The formula here is Cena gets beaten up, Umaga dominates, Cena hits a big move to draw even then Umaga puts him down again. The genius that is Cena figures that the Five Knuckle Shuffle is better than slamming Umaga on the steps.

He goes for an FU but in a SICK looking spot, Umaga falls forward and Cena’s head apparently slams into the steps being crushed by Umaga’s fatness. That’s just as painful looking. On a second look it might have landed on the part of the steps with nothing there but still it looked great. That gets 9 and also a LOUD Cena sucks chant. After taking another beating, Cena hulks up but takes a Samoan Drop to put him back down. I really hate the Spike.

It was just freaking stupid on so many levels that it’s unreal. Seriously, look at Umaga and the stuff he does, and then his finishing move is a thumb to the neck. That’s just freaking DUMB. Ross calls Umaga Youmaga, so maybe that’s where Regal got that from. He hits the post so Cena nails him with a monitor as Umaga decides to take a nap there I guess.

Cena is bleeding from the step crushing by the way. We hit the floor so Cena hits post. The no selling by Umaga is getting a bit annoying but it’s quite bearable. At least they have their stereotypes right here as nothing is hurting his head. With Cena draped over the announce tables, Umaga gets a running start and runs down the tables to go for a splash on Cena which of course misses.

I’m glad as if Cena had gotten up from that it would have been completely ridiculous. That gets a LONG 9 which the fans boo the heck out of. For some reason Lawler thinks you have to be in the ring to answer the ten, which is just stupid but it’s Lawler so it’s expected. Estrada gets some metal thing and takes the ring apart to hand Umaga the turnbuckle, as in the part that hooks up to the post. Of course Cena ducks and hits an FU.

Thankfully he’s up before the referee starts counting as it would have been ridiculous if he stayed down. However it gets dumber as after a metal shot puts him down, Cena puts the STFU on Umaga using the ropes to choke him out.

For some reason Umaga completely no sells the first attempt and is up almost immediately after Cena lets go but Cena does it again to keep him down for ten in what I would assume was miscommunication. That’s your lesson for the day kids: it’s ok to take a rope and tie it around a guy’s neck for about 20 seconds until he stops moving and breathing, as long as you keep your title!

Rating: C. This was about as much of a textbook example of a last man standing match as you could have asked for. What I mean by that is that it was about as safe of one as you were going to get. I don’t think anyone bought that Umaga was a legit threat to the belt so take that for what it’s worth.

The match is certainly ok, but it’s little more than that, which I guess is to be expected in something like this. It ended this rivalry though and gave Cena another successful title defense so that makes up for some stuff I suppose. Not bad, but not great at all.

Commercial for Mania.

Flair draws his number.

Royal Rumble

Lillian is amazing, period. Flair is first, continuing his horrific run of luck for Rumble draws as this is the 3rd time that I can think of where he draws in the first 3 spots. Finlay is number two which is certainly an odd pairing. History is altered again as Flair has now not made it an hour in 1992, despite according to Monsoon making it about 70 minutes that year. We have 90 second intervals here in case you were wondering.

Cole makes it sound like this is for the title. It’s not, which is why it’s a bad idea. Kenny Dykstra, who allegedly was a great talent which I never saw, is 3rd. He and Flair were feuding I think. He was a year old when the first Rumble happened. That’s just scary as Flair was like a 5 time world champion back then. Finlay is heel here in case you were wondering. Matt Hardy is 4th. Lawler, JBL and Cole are doing the commentary here.

Since there’s no JR they can actually get words in edgewise. JBL says this is the closest thing in wrestling to an endurance contest. Other than you know, the iron man match which is an endurance contest. Edge is 5th. The first five have been Raw Smackdown Raw Smackdown Raw. That’s rather odd. Flair goes through the ropes and goes to get a chair. He and Edge have been feuding for awhile too. Does no one like Flair?

Flair goes out and then Dykstra follows him as Dreamer is 6th. You know what the chant is already. Finlay knocks everyone down and oddly enough is dominating. JBL says Lawler hid for 30 minutes in 1996 because he thought there was a young woman under the ring. That actually made me laugh. Sabu of all people is 7th. Naturally he gets a table which Cole says he’s made a career out of.

That’s either a thinly veiled insult or a general observation. Given that it’s Cole, I’d say it’s the later as I don’t think he’s intelligent enough to know how to thinly veil something. He makes up for it by knowing all of Sabu’s attributes which is actually impressive. Helms is Gregory Helms, still the Cruiserweight Champion that he became last year. We have Finlay, Hardy, Edge, Dreamer, Sabu and Helms at the moment.

We get our second Sabu chant in less than three minutes which makes me shake my head very hard. Helms has been wanting to stop being a cruiserweight at the time. In other words he wants to have a career. Shelton is 9th. They tease about 4 people going through the table but no one goes through it. Lawler points out that if used right it could save someone, which is actually true.

Kane gets us to double digits and of course we hear about all of his records, including most consecutive rumbles and 11 guys thrown out. And yet he can’t get a 4 week world title reign. Dreamer and Sabu are tossed easily, with Sabu being chokeslammed through the table. Well at least they made it quick. CM MOTHER PUNK is 11th. Good night I hate how far they’ve depushed him lately.

He was supposed to have a twenty minute war with Lashley to end the Elimination Chamber at December 2 Dismember so that both guys would be made at once. Heyman thought that up. Punk was also supposed to make Show tap out in that match in about 5 minutes. Show, who was losing the title to Lashley anyway, had no problem with that and since he would be leaving in two days anyway had no problem putting Punk over really strong on his way out.

Vince of course HATED this and had RVD pin him first, leaving the likes of Test and Hardcore Holly, you know, REAL MAIN EVENT GUYS to battle it out instead. Naturally the fans HATED this as Punk was incredibly over and no one wanted to see Holly and Test in a main event. Vince of course blamed Heyman and he was fired as a result.

Punk would get the ECW Title in October and begin the biggest launch in company history, breaking the record for fastest time to win the Triple Crown, with the ECW title thrown in as a bonus. He has since tapped to Cena in 2 minutes at the Slammies and who knows what else as we’re 9 days from Christmas when this is being written and you’ll read it in about 5 weeks.

King Booker is 12th, about ten months before jumping to TNA. He puts Helms out in about 4 seconds. Super Crazy is 13th. Nothing happens. Jeff Hardy is 14th and hopefully something happens here. The Hardys of course work together and hook a move called the Spin Cycle on Crazy before fighting Kane which I like for some reason that I don’t understand.

Sandman, to a song that sounds nothing like Metallica is 15th. He gets a great cane shot to Jeff and a few others but Booker puts him out in about 15 seconds. Thanks for that. Orton is 16th. He and Edge, the tag champions, put out Crazy and the Hardys inside of a minute. In at 17 is Benoit, in his final Rumble. He’s US Champion here because that’s all he’s ever done. The announcers talk about Punk like he’s a jobber or something.

Oh I forgot he was on ECW at the time. RVD is 18th, just about to be gone from the company. He would be gone I think in June. Kane puts Booker out so he goes back in and puts Kane out. They fought at No Way Out and that was the end of it. They fight for awhile until Viscera comes out at 19th. He’s wearing white pajamas so there we are. Nitro is 20th. Nothing of note is going on here.

More or less it’s just a lot of guys making sure that they get close to being thrown out without actually doing so. Kevin Thorn, the guy that just never got pushed is 21st. Shelton gets insanely close and keeps off the floor which is indeed impressive. Oh for the love of goodness Hardcore Holly is 22nd. Still, nothing of note is happening with far too many people in the ring at the moment.

Shawn Michaels, still of DX, is 23rd to blow the roof off the place. With EVERYONE else trying to get Viscera out, Shawn puts Finlay out. A superkick to Viscera allows everyone else to put him out. He puts Shelton out too. They actually imply that Holly could win as Masters is 24th. I’ve actually liked his face turn recently, and not just because I find him attractive. Nitro is out thanks to Benoit.

Oh yeah HHH is out with an injury again and wouldn’t be back until Summerslam. Chavo is 25th as this is somehow only his 3rd Rumble ever. Benoit puts Thorn out. I’ve spelled his name wrong both times I’ve mentioned him in here. MVP is 26th and he’s not quite a medium sized deal yet. He and Kennedy had been feuding with Kane and Taker. Masters is out. Every time Van Dam has been in the Rumble, he’s made the final 6. That’s not bad at all.

Carlito is 27th which is where 4 men have won from which is rather impressive. Shawn hangs on like someone that hangs on rather impressively. Khali is 28th and he’ll likely get rid of a bunch of people. Yep, there goes Benoit and Holly. He would win the world title in July once Edge got hurt…again. He chops the heck out of everyone and Miz is 29th. Good night did he ever come a LONG way since then. He has the same music too. Yeah he’s gone in 5 seconds.

Van Dam is out. Punk is the 5th in a row for him. Carlito is number 6. Chavo makes 7. They say that no one can beat Khali as Shawn beats on him to no avail. I think it’s about as obvious as possible who 30th is here, but it’s going to be awesome no matter what. Cole: “no one can stop Khali.” JBL: “we have our Wrestlemania main event.” Lawler: “if I were number 30 I’d have second thoughts. GONG! All three: “OH YES!” Taker power walks to the ring and it’s on.

Final group: Khali, Taker, Shawn, Orton, Edge, MVP.They slug it out and after a bad clothesline, Khali is out. Somehow Taker looks small next to him, and that’s just scary. Since Khali wiped everyone out, we have 5 people left: MVP, never mind he’s gone so the final four are Shawn, Taker, Edge and Orton. They really are getting good at this final four thing.

Orton pops Taker with a chair and Rated RKO double team him. Edge of course goes for the double cross and this somehow allows Shawn to take an RKO. Taker is bleeding. We get a mini handicap match with quite a few chair shots in there. Ok it’s more like two but whatever. They go for a conchairto but Shawn comes in for the save and the double elimination to set up the old school explosion.

Both guys are down though, and you know what’s coming. Taker sits up, and then Shawn nips up a few seconds later. Lawler says he isn’t sure if this has ever happened before. Oh I give up. We get my favorite Taker spot as he throws Shawn into the corner. The fans are way into this. This turns into of course a great one on one match. They fight on the apron with Taker showing off by barely hanging on much like Shawn would do.

They go back and forth with some great stuff as neither guy can keep the advantage. Shawn gets ahead for awhile but Chine Music is blocked to set up a chokeslam. Tombstone doesn’t work though and Taker gets kicked in the face. He goes for a second one, but Taker moves and puts Shawn out, to become the first guy from the 30th spot to win the thing.

That’s not great odds for the luckiest spot in the match. Taker poses for a LONG time to end the show, which is fine. The fans are uh, not thrilled with Taker putting out Shawn when he was that close to winning, and Shawn was in the main event of Mania anyway so it makes even less sense.

Rating: B. The ending makes this whole thing as they let the old guys go out there and prove that old school is better than the young guys. Having the two mini matches at the end was a nice little touch. There were far too many dead spots in there though which screwed things up.

The lineup ws good though and it was nice to see the ECW guys not really do much as they didn’t need to, other than Punk. This was fine though and the ending was great so that helps a lot. It could have been better, but I liked it.

Overall Rating: B. While nothing here is great, there’s only one bad match in the ECW Title match which at least is short. This kind of sums up the company as a whole around this time: not bad at all but nothing that jumps off the page that’s great. Taker would go on to win his second world title at Mania, ending the run there against Evolution by beating Batista.

When you think about it, you realize how freaking insane the Streak really is. Anyway, this was a pretty good show but not great. If you like the modern WWE you’ll like it and vice versa, so there you go.

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Is there any reason for this? My take:

If you’ve read my review of the show, the answer seems to be that Ryder is the guy that got over on his own and that’s not what the company wants.  Unless this is a real injury, I don’t see any need for it.  He got put in the horrible storyline with Eve who does nothing but complain to Cena and look good in shorts.  Ryder has gone from the hottest thing in wrestling to a pawn in a Cena storyline to tide him over until Mania.  Think about that for a minute.

Thoughts?

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 23, 2012
Location: US Airways Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

After last week’s actual emotion from Ace, I’m kind of curious as to what happens tonight. The Rumble is in six days and they’ve seemingly only built up to the actual match on Smackdown. That being said, it’s the Royal Rumble so it’s not like it needs much build. It’s a 30 man battle royal with an obvious prize to the winner. That’s not hard to sell. Let’s get to it.

We open things up with the champ. He sits down in the ring and talks about how this Sunday is the Rumble and a big WWE Title match is on the card. Ziggler claims that he’s beaten Punk three times this month, and that’s because he has. Now granted, all of those had Ace helping him but he has indeed beaten him three times. Punk calls Ace a failure, which he knows is true after looking it up on Wikipedia.

We get a clip from the end of the show last week. Punk is a little worried about Ace promising to screw him. However, what exactly can Ace do with two broken arms? Punk calls him out but when there’s no GM, Punk says he’s going after him. Cue….Cena? Cena looks ticked off. He says he was sick of hearing Punk ramble. He’s out here for business, not to talk. Cena demands Ace is here in a few moments to atone for his sins with Ryder last week. Also he wants a match tonight with Kane before his match at the Rumble. Cena also says Ace will resign. Now that’s something new.

Cena looks at the ramp and Punk says Ace needs to be here because of the people. Cue Ace who talks about having days where we wish we could change things. Last week wasn’t one of those days though. Punk calls Ace down to the ring and it’s the whole “I don’t work for you” line from Ace. Ryder is cleared to compete tonight and gets Kane tonight in a falls count anywhere match. If Cena gets involved, Ryder will never get a US Title rematch. Ace makes the tag team match against Ziggler/Swagger and it starts RIGHT NOW.

Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger vs. John Cena/CM Punk

The bad guys promise vengeance before the match. The bell is after a break. Ziggler vs. Cena gets us going. Punk is in long black shorts here which is a new look for him. Well technically as those are what he wore in ROH. Cena hits the running bulldog to start and here’s Punk. Ziggler bails to the floor as we take a break. Back with the starters and Ziggler speeding things up a bit and strutting.

Cena takes over and struts as well. Off to Swagger who takes it to the mat with a double chickenwing. Cena snaps off a suplex but Dolph makes the save with a dropkick. He drops a bunch of elbows and does the situps spot. Swagger Bomb gets two. Ace is texting or tweeting or whatever. Jack puts on a bearhug but Cena fires off an AA out of nowhere. Cena is so weakened though that he can only tag out.

Punk comes in with a springboard clothesline on Ziggy and he busts out his usual stuff. He sticks his tongue out like Jordan but the GTS is countered. High kick gets two as Swagger saves. Everything breaks down and Swagger gets the ankle lock on the floor but Cena reverses into the STF. Punk goes up but Ace distracts him. Punk threatens to him him and Ziggler rolls him up with a handful of tights for the pin at 11:10.

Rating: C+. Decent main event style tag match here with them playing up the idea of Ziggler getting the title via a screwjob. Cena and Swagger were just kind of there really but they kind of had a story to them so it made sense. Not a great match or anything but it was better than most of the recent main event tags.

Punk says this changes nothing because on Sunday, Ace will screw him and Punk will beat him up. Punk says since Ace likes giving Ziggler presents, he’ll give Ace a chance. For one night only, Ace should be a superstar. Tonight: Punk vs. Ace. He accepts and the fans cheer.

Jericho will be in the Highlight Reel next.

We get a clip from Jericho walking out last week.

Here’s Jericho for the Highlight Reel. He’s officially in the Rumble according to Lawler. Jericho picks up the mic and asks for silence. Nothing said yet. He puts the mic up to his mouth twice but he has an idea. He gets out of the ring and runs up to the stage, asking for one second. Jericho goes into the back and comes back with a t-shirt cannon and ammo. He doesn’t shoot any shirts but steals the camera which we get shots from.

Back to the mic again and once more he asks for silence. He points at the Jeritron 5000 and we get the Millennium Countdown and a highlight package of his career, including winning the Undisputed title. The fans cheer once it’s over but there are some boos in there too. HE SPEAKS! I’ve never heard a bigger pop for the word “This Sunday at the Royal Rumble”. He says that this Sunday, it’s going to be the end of the world as you know it. And that’s it. The lights go out, the jacket goes on, and we go to a break.

We get a WWE Rewind from September with the Hugh Jackman show.

We now get one of my favorite things of the year: the It’s All About The Numbers promo for the Rumble. I love these things.

31 Hall of Famers in Rumbles
21 Wrestlemania main events for those Hall of Famers
695 participants in total
39 eliminations for Shawn Michaels, the most everything
35 eliminations for Kane, the second most all time
194,107 pounds total, or 430 Big Shows
421,883 fans have seen the Rumbles
62:12 is the record amount of time in the Rumble, set by Mysterio
3 wins for Austin, the record
2 seconds, as in the record held by Warlord for over 20 years
1 second, Santino’s record breaking mark
2 women in the Rumble
#1 is the entrant that has produced the same amount of entrants as #30
27 is the lucky number, with four winners
55% have gone on to win their Mania match, dating back to 1993

Ryder is with Eve when Foley comes up. He says Kane is an animal, but he’s just a human being. And Foley is serious bro. Eve is worried and tries to call it off. Cena pops up to a mixed reaction. He says he’s got Ryder’s back if needed but Ryder says stay out of it so Ryder can get his rematch. He’s not mean about it though.

Zack Ryder vs. Kane

Falls count anywhere so Ryder isn’t so thrilled. He still has bad ribs/back too. Ryder goes right for him which is better than he’s done lately. Kane kicks him off the apron where Ryder’s face slams into the table. His back goes into the post and there’s a slam outside. Ryder goes back first into the steps and this has been domination. Eve is at ringside now and this isn’t going to end well. Back into the table again and we take a break.

Back and the beating continues on the floor. A whip into the barricade gets two. Here’s the smother and the referee asks what Ryder says. Well they’re not paid for their intelligence. Out into the crowd now and they go up by the tech area. Ryder hasn’t has any offense in about 8 minutes. Oh wait there’s a shot with a metal case. This is no DQ apparently. Back to the ramp now and Kane kicks him in the ribs.

Ryder goes head first into the WWE logo and a piece of it breaks off. That only gets two and Kane isn’t sure what to do here. A headbutt puts Ryder down as the fans chant for Zack. A few punches by Ryder don’t get him anywhere. And Ryder is chokeslammed through the stage. Ok then. The match just ends. Kane goes after Eve but Cena comes out and Kane runs into the crowd. Match ran roughly ten minutes.

Rating: D. You know I’m really getting ticked off at how they’re treating Ryder. He might as well have been Barry Horowitz out here with how much offense he got in. The guy comes up with a brand new character, makes WWE a bunch of money they wouldn’t have gotten in merchandize sales, and has now been treated like a rag doll by Kane multiple times, making him look like any other guy. I can’t stand this company at times.

Back from a break and Ryder is put on a stretcher. He’s put in an ambulance and Eve, that whiny little pest, says this is all Cena’s fault. Josh Matthews picks NOW to put a mic in Cena’s face. Cena slaps it out of his hands and is very ticked off.

Sheamus vs. Jinder Mahal

This is their 5th match and Sheamus has never lost. There was a tag match in there too. Barrett, as in the guy Sheamus should be feuding with with no Mahal involved, comes out for commentary. There are the ten forearms. Mahal hits a running knee to the face to take over with a cobra clutch. Well kind of. It’s closer to a Tazmission. Screw it: it’s a chinlock. Sheamus gets up and the Brogue Kick ends this at 3:10.

Rating: D. Sheamus is probably my current favorite wrestler but I have no interest in seeing him against Mahal ever again. I mean…we get it. Sheamus can destroy Mahal at will. It’s now just a challenge of how fast can he do it anymore. Why is Mahal even in this at all? Why isn’t it Sheamus vs. Barrett?

Anyway, Sheamus invites Barrett in but Barrett says no. Sheamus says he’ll win the Rumble.

Miz says that Truth will be repeating history because every partner he’s had has been destroyed. Truth comes up and says he’s a marketing analyst and declares Miz the #1 guy in being boring, uninteresting and making people ask What Else Is On. Truth also thinks his name is Fleischer. Ace comes up and breaks them up. The loser of the match is #1 in the Rumble.

Orton is back on Friday.

William Regal is on commentary for this next match due to his dancing on Friday.

Brodus Clay vs. Heath Slater

Brodus is in a white suit now. I’m assuming Regal will be his first feud. Slater gets run over to start. Heath gets the first notable offense in against Clay: a dropkick. And never mind as Slater is run over, suplexed and What The Funk ends this in 55 seconds.

Rumble Moment: Taker wins from #30.

R-Truth vs. The Miz

The loser is #1 in the Rumble on Sunday. Cole says that two men have gone from #1 to win the Rumble. I’d LOVE to hear someone ask who those people are. This is much more of a brawl than a match. They go to the floor quickly and then back inside. Miz drops him on the floor and we take a break. Back with Miz hitting something for two.

Off to an abdominal stretch which Truth escapes. He starts his comeback with a nice rolling victory roll for two. Backslide gets two but Miz hits the Reality Check for two. He loads up the Finale but Truth rolls through it. Little Jimmy is countered and a short DDT gets two. And out of nowhere a Little Jimmy gets the pin at 8:13. It’s as quick as it sounds.

Rating: D+. These two just don’t have good chemistry together. I remember them having a match I believe the Fatal Fourway PPV a few years back and it was simply dreadful. These are guys that are far better on the mic than in the ring, which becomes a problem after awhile. Not horrible but pretty much just there.

We get a medical update on Ryder: he has a broken back. Oh geez they’re writing him off aren’t they. If this isn’t for a legit injury, I don’t think I’ll have ever been more annoyed.

Ace is warming up. It’s 10:54 and he’s in his office. Otunga pops up with a fax and says it can’t wait. Ace isn’t happy with it, whatever it says.

It’s 10:59, so let’s run down the card for Sunday!

CM Punk vs. John Laruinaitis

And there’s no Ace. Oh wait here he is and we hear about his resume from All Japan, said by name. Otunga is here too. Ace says he got a fax from the board of directors. Otunga reads it and it says the board is concerned about his activities as interim GM of Raw. His status as interim GM is officially under review. Next week he’ll get a formal job evaluation to determine if he keeps his job or is terminated. HHH is giving the job evaulation.

Punk is very happy and says that means he won’t get screwed. Ace calls it a wakeup call and says this is all a misunderstanding. Foley is in the Rumble and he was always going to call the title match down the middle. Punk calls Ace a little girl that gets everything all year long but at Christmas she’s afraid of getting coal. He wants Ace to be fired. Ace says that won’t happen. No match of course.

Otunga will be subbing so he jumps him. There was no bell. Punk takes him down and Vices him. Ace backs away and Punk has a mouse under his eye. There’s a high kick to Otunga and Ace backs off again. He offers a handshake but walks into a GTS. Ziggler runs in and gives him the Zig Zag to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This one really didn’t work at all and that’s because most of this was about taking out the new guy that got popular in a hurry on his own. I mean seriously, a broken back? If it’s as bad as it sounds, that’s probably what, back by April at the very best? Barring a legit injury, why in the world would you take away the second or third most popular guy on Raw? I hope there’s more to it than that, because if not then they’re idiots at a level even I didn’t expect. Bad show and I don’t think they realize the Rumble is Sunday.

Results
Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger b. CM Punk/John Cena – Rollup to Punk with a handful of tights
Kane vs. Zack Ryder went to a no contest when Kane chokeslammed Ryder through the stage
Sheamus b. Jinder Mahal – Brogue Kick
Brodus Clay b. Heath Slater – What The Funk
R-Truth b. The Miz – Little Jimmy

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I love these things! Here are the numbers:

31 Hall of Famers in Rumbles
21 Wrestlemania main events for those Hall of Famers
695 participants in total
39 eliminations for Shawn Michaels, the most everything
35 eliminations for Kane, the second most all time
194,107 pounds total, or 430 Big Shows
421,883 fans have seen the Rumbles
62:12 is the record amount of time in the Rumble, set by Mysterio
3 wins for Austin, the record
2 seconds, as in the record held by Warlord for over 20 years
1 second, Santino’s record breaking mark
2 women in the Rumble
#1 is the entrant that has produced the same amount of entrants as #30
27 is the lucky number, with four winners
55% have gone on to win their Mania match, dating back to 1993