Monday Night Raw
Date: August 22, 2011
Location: Rexhall Place, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

We’re up north this week and it’s time for the fallout from Cena going Alberto hunting to end last week’s show. Also I’m sure we’ll be getting more out of Punk vs. the establishment in the form of Nash/HHH. This is a hot time for the company so hopefully they can manage to keep it going this week in, as Lawler likes to call it, Bizarro Land. Let’s get to it.

One note: I’m watching a recording so the times on matches with commercials may be a bit inaccurate but I’ll do my best with them.

Here’s Alberto to open the show in a Lamborghini. Sign in the audience: Alberta hates Alberto. That’s cute. He says “my name” and is cut off by My Time Is Now. Cena seems way over here in Canada. He introduces himself to Alberto and calls himself the man that’ll take the championship off Del Rio. Also, he’s going to hurt him so badly that Del Rio is going to run back to his parents’ house because he’s tired of the flea market scarves, the second rate help and the rented luxury cars. This is serious Cena.

Cena says he’s tired of seeing average people like Del Rio because there’s only one person in this company that can go toe to toe with Cena. He’s looking at Del Rio and doesn’t see CM Punk so he’s not looking at anything better than average. Cue Punk who says Cean shouldn’t get another title shot. Punk beat him twice in big matches and would be champion if not for Alberto cashing in (which he’s cool with).

Punk and Cena argue a bit and Alberto cuts them off (Cena: Hey look it’s captain third wheel), saying it’s his time. Alberto says get out of here in Spanish. Punk says never cut him off again. He says his cashing in were both better than Alberto’s. He knows that everyone is out to get him, including Del Rio, HHH, Nash and maybe even Jack Tunney. However, Cena needs to pay attention because just after Punk insulted Stephanie at the PPV, he gets jumped. The reason Cena needs to pay attention is if he had beaten Punk, the text would have said “take out Cena”.

Punk thinks someone wants Alberto to be champion. Punk says he’s going to cash in his rematch tonight. Cena says he’s cashing in tonight, not Punk. Punk: “Your rematch clause is about as real as Santa Claus.” Alberto says he defended last week so this week it’s time to celebrate. He celebrates in full wrestling gear? Now here’s HHH to talk some more. He tells Alberto to take the smug look off his face because he’s not here for Del Rio. Alberto’s match is up next so stick around. Also you can’t just cash in rematch clauses whenever you like it. Punk vs. Cena for the #1 contender spot at Night of Champions.

Alberto Del Rio vs. John Morrison

Non-title here remember. Morrison goes right for him to start but gets guillotined on the top. That goes nowhere so Del Rio goes for the arm. Morrison fires off a dropkick but it’s right back to the arm. John sends him to the floor and tries an Asai Moonsault, only to miss and land on his feet. Del Rio sends him into the barrier and takes over again. Back from a break with Del Rio holding a chinlock.

Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two. I love Alberto’s psychology as he hits something to slow Morrison down and and then it’s right back to the arm. Cole says Morrison is an avocado. Why he calls his this isn’t clear but then again what is from Cole? Del Rio keeps hammering away as this is another of the kind of matches he needs: a match with a legit name who shouldn’t be ready to beat him so the loss means nothing but the win means something for Alberto.

Morrison manages to backdrop him to the floor and gets all fired up. He goes for the Starship Pain position but Del Rio gets away before it launches. The Mexican hits a German on the American. Cross armbreaker can’t hook and Del Rio gets caught in a spinning DDT which looked good as Morrison managed to avoid the botch. Morrison’s shining wizard doesn’t hit but he gets a rana for a close two. Big kick to the head looks to set up Starship Pain but Del Rio moves. Morrison’s shoulder hits the post and the armbreaker ends this at 12:30.

Rating: B. I was into this one. Like I said earlier, he needs wins like this one because it builds him up. Swagger lost matches like these and it really hurt his credibility. This makes Del Rio look good because Morrison is a solid and established midcard guy. A loss to Del Rio doesn’t hurt him and the win makes Alberto look good. That’s all you need and it’s the best thing they can do.

Del Rio puts the hold on again on the floor.

Eve Torres vs. Nikki Bella

The announcers said this was vs. Brie before the commercial. Does it really matter? The evil Divas do an old school inset interview talking about how they don’t want to be popular or voluptuous or pretty like Eve and Kelly (which is Beth saying these things and Natalya saying we don’t). Nikki takes over to start but gets caught in the hip gyrating moonsault. What awesomeness! Moonsault is broken up but Eve hits a Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza for the pin at 2:37. This was nothing but it was bad.

Kelly hits K2 on Brie post match. Natalya and Beth come out to glare at the nice girls.

Nash is up next.

Ok no he isn’t.

Alex Riley vs. Jack Swagger

Vickie does Jack’s intro and is managing him now. Swagger takes him to the mat very quickly and JR says Swagger is a former two time world champion. So the ECW Title counts? We’ll have to remember that for Mark Henry later. Riley gets that SWEET spinebuster of his and here’s Dolph. He yells at Vickie as Swagger can’t get the powerbomb. Vickie is on the floor but we didn’t see what happened. Swagger goes after Dolph and shoves him, walking back into the ring and a rollup for the pin at 2:00. I really hope they’re not getting straight to Dolph vs. Jack as this could go for a very long time.

Here’s HHH who talks about how there were issues at Summerslam but he wants to bury this right here. He calls out Nash and they shake hands/hug. Nash says he believes what HHH said about not sending the text, however he needs to be able to prove that he’s a man, referencing wanting to fight Punk. HHH says Nash doesn’t work here so he can’t do anything. Nash says he would have killed Punk last week and the security was to protect Punk, not Nash. HHH can fight Punk, just not here. He asks Nash to leave and here’s Punk.

Punk says he wants to get to the bottom of this. Let’s play Clue: was it Big Lazy with the tube of Just For Men in the conservatory? Was it HHH backstage with the sledgehammer? Or was it Stephanie in the library with a candlestick? We have a library? The tape library perhaps? Punk doesn’t believe any of these people and Nash said that Punk stepped over a line last week. That’s what Punk does, but now he’s done talking. He goes for Punk but HHH cuts him off.

Punk gets in HHH’s face and wants to know what HHH’s problem is with Punk. Why does he not want Punk being champion? Who’s pulling the strings? HHH? Nash? Or Stephanie, the bean headed wife? HHH says he made a promise to not get physically involved, but don’t cross a line with him because he’s the same guy he used to be and he’ll leave Punk laying where he stands. Punk makes fun of HHH again and Nash decks him and the former Clique leaves with HHH being mad at Nash. The fans chant for Punk.

Back from a break and HHH yells at Nash. Nash says HHH isn’t the same since he put on the suit and leaves.

Tag Titles: David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty vs. Kofi Kingston/Evan Bourne

This is a rematch from last week. Lawler points out that the champions haven’t done anything with the belts. We get a Bushwhackers reference as Lawler says they had better charisma. That’s true at least. Bourne beats on McGillicutty to start but that doesn’t last long with Kofi coming in. After some more attacking he goes outside after both champions and gets caught easily.

Otunga comes in to work over Kofi, hitting a corner clothesline for a very delayed two. Off to a chinlock for a few seconds and here’s McGillicutty who hits a double team dropkick/atomic drop for two. JR says that was an almost perfect dropkick. Off to another chinlock and McGillicutty yells at Lawler, asking if that was impressive. In a cool move Kofi nips up into a headscissors and brings in Bourne. He cleans house with jumping knees and a spin kick for two. Kofi sends Michael to the floor and hits Trouble in Paradise to Otunga. Shooting Star Press gives us new champions at 5:00.

Rating: C. Eh just a quick match here. Otunga and McGillicutty aren’t horrible but they were boring as champions. Either way this wasn’t too bad but hopefully this starts a new thing in the division as JR and the announcers make it seem like it’s kind of a big deal. This wasn’t bad and them winning that fast was probably a good thing.

Some NXT guys and Ryder pour champagne over the new champions. They’re really pushing this as a big deal.

Johnny Ace catches up with HHH and tells him Nash was in a car wreck. Well of course he was. Ace gives HHH the hospital info and will run Raw as HHH leaves. I’ll set the over/under at 12 minutes into the main event before Nash arrives.

Here’s Santino for a match but Miz and R-Truth jump him on the way to the ring and give him a big beatdown. Truth calls Santino Little Jimmy and says that’ll happen every time. DON’T START THE WHATS!!! Truth says he’s tired of the HHH/Stephanie/everyone else conspiracy. He used to main event PPVs but now it’s not about him. It’s not about Miz either.

Time for Miz to speak and he says Truth is right. The Canadian crowd gets on his nerves so he yells at them. He was in the main event of Wrestlemania and now he has to yell at Jared the Subway guy. Miz speaks slowly so Canada can understand him. He’s sick of Santino, who hasn’t won a match on Raw in five years (or since June but who’s counting) while the two of them get nothing.

They’ll be taking an opportunity instead of waiting for one which includes stomping spiders. Some people are gonna get got. That’s the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth and IT’S AWESOME. In a cool moment, Truth does a freestyle to the beat of his song and yells at the crowd with YOU SUCK replacing What’s Up. That’s rather cool.

John Cena vs. CM Punk

Ace and Del Rio are at ringside. The fans throw Cena’s shirt back twice. I’ll take it if they don’t want it. This is a pro-Punk crowd. It’s a slow start but they have some time. The fans chant for the Oilers (hockey team) and here comes Cena. He goes into the finishing sequence very quickly. The Shuffle is countered into a rollup for two very quickly. Leg lariat sets up the corner knee and bulldog for no cover.

Punk goes up but gets knocked to the floor as we take a break. Back and both guys are down. Punk grabs the GTS but Cena escapes as does Punk from the AA. Another AA attempt fails and Punk gets the springboard clothesline for two. GTS is countered into an STF attempt but Punk escapes. Cena uses pure power to push Punk down into the STF where Punk is in trouble.

That’s a good looking hold but Punk makes the ropes. Cena’s shoulder goes into the post and the GTS gets two. They’re telling a good story as they know regular stuff isn’t going to work so they’re throwing bombs from the beginning. Punk goes up but the elbow misses. I love that tribute he does to Savage. That’s what it should be: a move done in his honor and the point to the sky is perfect in multiple ways for Savage.

Cena now goes up and hits the Famesasser for two. AA #4 is countered into a SWEET running knee for two. HUGE AA gets a very close two. Again I love the throwing huge stuff and almost nothing but huge stuff. Top rope cross body is rolled through into the AA but Punk reverses into a sunset flip for two. He sets for the GTS but here’s Nash again, saying it’s not over with Punk. Punk turns around and the AA sends Cena to Night of Champions at 14:25.

Rating: B+. Seriously were you expecting anything but a good match here? They have that chemistry that you need and it’s showing here. You give these two fifteen minutes and they’ll give you the top level match they’re capable of. Obviously TV is different than PPV but this was rather awesome indeed. Good match as the kicking out was good stuff.

Alberto immediately jumps Cena until Johnny Ace breaks it up. Del Rio beats him up some more because he can.

Overall Rating: B+. This was another good show with some good matches and a lot of drama. The idea of having Nash faking the car accident and someone helping him in on it (no idea if Ace did it or not because he may have just been given a note by a fake caller etc) is interesting as there could be a lot of ways it could go. Good show here with a nice mixture of stuff going on.

Results

Alberto Del Rio b. John Morrison – Cross Armbreaker

Eve Torres b. Nikki Bella – Swinging neckbreaker

Alex Riley b. Jack Swagger – Rollup

Kofi Kingston/Evan Bourne b. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty – Shooting Star Press to Otunga

John Cena b. CM Punk – Attitude Adjustment

Smackdown
Date: August 19, 2011
Location: Rabobank Arena, Bakersfield, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

It’s the post Summerslam show and we get to see what is going on after Orton has won the title. There’s more or less no reason to have Chrstian get another shot now after feuding with Randy all summer. The match on Sunday came off like a blowoff match and while I could see one more match in the Cell, they need a break between now and then. We’ll also get a lot more stuff I’m sure. Let’s get to it.

Teddy opens the show and here’s Randy. He says the people are used to hearing Christian whine about wanting another rematch. He’s no Christian (SCANDAL!) but he is the World Heavyweight Champion and his name is Randy Orton. He used to respect Christian but now he despises him and it’s over. Teddy says tonight there will be a 20 man battle royal for the #1 contender spot.

Cody Rhodes and Ted come out and the belt looks awesome on him. He says Legacy has reunited and now Cody is a champion too. However, he won his without barbarism. The people here are hideous and he doesn’t care about them. He’ll be in the battle royal tonight and soon he’ll take the title. Cody says Ted has a voice and hands him the microphone.

Ted says they know Orton better than anyone. They know his weaknesses….and I guess Orton got bored because there’s an RKO for Ted. He and Cody stare each other down and Cody bails. Cody yells at Ted and demands he does something about this. Teddy says he’ll make Orton stand in the corner on one leg for ten minuets. Also he’s going to have to write “I will not RKO Ted DiBiase 100 times.” Since Ted can’t compete tonight Cody has to take his place and the title will be on the line.

Intercontinental Title: Cody Rhodes vs. Ezekiel Jackson

Smackdown will be live on Tuesday August 30. The bell is after a break. We get a clip of last week’s title change and the beating of Ted. It’s amazing how much better Jackson looks by just snarling. Jackson takes over with pure power to start as is his custom. Enziguri misses for Rhodes and an elbow gets two. A backdrop gets one and Jackson keeps up his domination. I guess he’s been listening to his own theme music.

Cody finally gets something going and hits a bulldog. That doesn’t last long as we’re back to the floor and Jackson sends him into the steps. The champ dropkicks the steps into the leg/knee and back inside we go. Jackson tries a quick rack but Cody gets another knee shot. The Beautiful Disaster (looked AWESOME as the foot smacked against Jackson’s face) hits and Cross Rhodes ends this at 3:38 totally clean.

Rating: C+. This is exactly what Rhodes needed. He hit the two big moves and planted Jackson for his second clean pin over him in a row. That should end the run for Jackson and he has no justification to challenge for the title anymore. This was decent stuff and I’m still loving that kick to the face.

Ryder comes up to Teddy in the back and says Alberto is on his way. Teddy isn’t happy with this because it was supposed to be Cena or Punk. Ryder says life is full of surprises like tonight when he wins the battle royal. Aksana comes in and more innuendo is made. She offers to watch the battle royal with him and Teddy gets all tongue tied and leaves.

Justin Gabriel is still in South Africa. I think we’ve seen this one before.

Justin Gabriel vs. Tyson Kidd

Well they had a great match on NXT a few weeks ago so I have high hopes here. We get some nice speed stuff to start and Tyson takes over with some shots to the face. Nice dropkick to the back of the head as the announcers are talking about fishing with sharks. A hard elbow gets two. Justin fires off with some kicks which get two. Kidd rolls through a springboard cross body and tries a leg lock but Justin escapes and hits an STO. Justin goes for the 450 and after knocking Kidd off the top the splash ends it at 4:23.

Rating: C+. They’re keeping the matches short tonight but I’m digging them. Justin and Kidd are both getting some solid TV time and the matches are getting better. The little clips from South Africa are nice touches as they’re giving us a reason to care about him which we didn’t have before. Good little TV match here and the 450 is great as always.

Mahal and Khali say they’ll win the battle royal tonight.

Ricardo brings out Alberto. There’s a nameplate on the title now. He says the exact same stuff he’s said for months now. It’s his destiny and he hurt Rey and all that jazz. It’s been a year since he’s gotten here and a lot of things have changed in that time span. We get a clip from Monday where he beat up Rey. Some kid has a sign saying Alberto isn’t champ. Uh, yeah he is. Alberto gives something like an open challenge.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Daniel Bryan

Non-title of course. Bryan wants to know why Del Rio cashed in like everyone else if he’s so special. The bell rings after a break as is usual. Feeling out process to start and Del Rio avoids a big swinging kick. He catches Bryan coming back in and stomps away. The golden banana hammocks are back. Off to an arm hold and a Daniel Bryan chant starts up. Bryan gets all ticked off and fires off some kicks for two.

The announcers talk about the HHH/Nash situation which is fine as it actually relates to the guys in the ring. Codebreaker to the arm off the middle rope takes Bryan down again and it’s back to an armbar. Sunset flip is blocked and Del Rio drops another elbow onto the arm for two. Time for a key lock which is at least a change of pace in the holds. Time for the Michael Cole Show as he rants about Bryan being a nerd and having a Youtube channel.

Now Cole is making fun of Bryan going to a drive-in movie. He goes on and on with it for like a minute and a half, making fun of Josh for going to see Cowboys and Aliens and for always being for the good guy. Bryan fights Del Rio off and rifles off some kicks in the corner. The look on Del Rio’s face is great as his face says “THAT REALLY HURT!”

Bryan fires off a clothesline and backdrops Del Rio over the top. Running knee off the apron hits Del Rio square in the face and looks great. Back inside the Mexican hits a German to the American for two. They go up top with their backs to the ring and Bryan reverses a belly to back superplex into a cross body as we go to a break.

Back with them slugging it out with some loud boo/yay going on. Running dropkick in the corner puts Alberto down. Ricardo is losing his enchiladas. Missile dropkick gets two. A big swinging kick misses and Bryan avoids a belly to back while still selling the arm. Bryan tilt-a-whirls into the guillotine choke but Del Rio manages to ram him into the corner and get a northern lights suplex into the cross armbreaker for the tap at 15:30 total. I’m watchin this one as it airs so that’s total time from bell to bell.

Rating: B. Solid match here as both guys looked good. Bryan doesn’t need to get a win here because he has a ton of time before he has to cash in. Del Rio needs wins like this and the one he got over Mysterio on Monday to give himself some credibility. This was good stuff and both guys looked good which is the whole idea.

Post match Del Rio goes for the arm even more until Sin Cara makes the save.

Henry says he should be #1 contender. He looks at the battle royal like a boat. Things are going to get rocky and 19 men are going overboard.

Kelly Kelly/AJ vs. Natalya/Alicia Fox

Nattie vs. AJ to start and the cute one (in plaid) is in trouble. Natalya is killing it here as we’re just waiting for the hot tag to Kelly to clean house. AJ finally fights her way to the tag and Kelly does her usual stuff. Alicia misses the axe kick and K2 ends this at 4:30. Just nothing to talk about here.

Rating: C. Eh this was fine all things considered. They’re really pushing Kelly strong as a “wrestler” but it’s not doing anything for me. The girls are almost entirely interchangeable other than Beth and Natalya to a degree. The matches aren’t as bad anymore though which is a nice break.

Post match Alicia yells at Natalya and Nattie puts her in a Sharpshooter on the floor to a big pop.

Same video of Axxess we’ve seem all week.

Orton comes out to watch the battle royal.

Battle Royal

Mark Henry, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, Sin Cara, Sheamus, Daniel Bryan, Johnny Curtis, Ezekiel Jackson, Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, Jinder Mahal, Great Khali, Zack Ryder, Yoshi Tatsu, William Regal, Tyson Kidd, Wade Barrett, Justin Gabriel, Heath Slater, Trent Barretta

I think that’s everyone at least. Only Sin Cara (clearly a different guy), Sheamus, Barrett (complete with coat) and Henry get entrances. Everyone goes after Henry immediately and that just fails. Barretta is out in about 15 seconds as is Tatsu. Khali is defending Mahal in the corner. There goes Curtis. Expect a lot of “so and so is out” because there isn’t anything else to say for the most part in these matches.

Slater is down in the corner and his torso is out. Khali chops Regal and the pain is evident. There goes Ryder to a pop. Booker saying Woo Woo Woo is funny stuff. Jackson puts the IC Champ out which I really hope doesn’t mean the feud continues. Jackson goes for Khali and hammers him in the corner which gets a nice reaction. The clothesline in the corner results in him getting chopped in the head and tossed though so Jackson is out.

Now Henry and Khali have the staredown and a Sin Cara chant starts up. They strike it out and Henry goes down from a chop. Punjabi Plunge is broken and Henry puts Khali out with relative ease. Mahal is FREAKING. Sheamus goes after Henry and down goes Henry again, falling under the ropes to the floor. Sheamus fakes Slater out and a Brogue Kick puts Slater out. Henry beats up Slater because he can.

After a break Sheamus and Mahal are almost out but no luck. There seem to be about ten or eleven left. According to Cole there are ten left. Regal was eliminated during the break. Henry is still chilling on the floor. Cara puts Gabriel out with a cross body but holds on. Henry beats Gabriel up as well. Sheamus eliminates both Usos and they’re Henry’s next meal, including one being thrown through the announce table. Orton is just sitting at ringside during this.

Henry is back in now. Ok so we have Sheamus, Barrett, Mahal, Henry, DiBiase, Sin Cara and Kidd. Henry tosses DiBiase and Mahal with ease and Cara eliminates Kidd. We’re down to four: Barrett, Sheamus, Henry and Sin Cara. The fans like Cara. The Europeans go after Henry and stomp him down in the corner. Cara is spent and is trying to get back up. Barrett takes Sheamus down (but not out) with a clothesline. Sheamus to the apron and Barrett joins him. They slug it out on the apron and Sheamus gets a kick to get us down to three.

Cara tries a dropkick to Sheamus but goes through the ropes instead. He dives at Sheamus but lands on the apron. Back in now and Sheamus drapes him on the ropes but can’t eliminate him. He sets for the kick but Henry grabs Sheamus and we’re down to two. Cara is up top and like an idiot tries a cross body which works but he tries a cover because he’s not that smart I guess. Henry presses him through the ropes so we’re back to a one on one match now. Cara tries a spinning cross body and gets caught in the World’s Strongest Slam, letting Henry win at 16:42.

Rating: C. Battle royals are hard to grade but this was fine. Henry winning like this is a good choice because he’s the only one that is in position to challenge Orton. Nice to see Sin Cara getting some time in there as the fans are into him. Nothing great here but it’s a fine way to set up the next main event and that’s all they needed to do here.

Henry stares Orton down post match.

Overall Rating: A. I had a really good time with this show. Nothing is bad at all and the booking I almost totally agree with. Henry is really the only heel other than maybe Barrett that could be plugged into the main event right now so that makes perfect sense. Cody gets another clean win and we get a solid long match in the kind of win Del Rio needs at the moment. No complaints here at all.

Results

Cody Rhodes b. Ezekiel Jackson – Cross Rhodes

Justin Gabriel b. Tyson Kidd – 450 Splash

Alberto Del Rio b. Daniel Bryan – Cross Armbreaker

AJ/Kelly Kelly b. Alicia Fox/Natalya – K2 to Fox

Mark Henry won a battle royal last eliminating Sin Cara

What are your thoughts on it?  I haven’t really thought it through yet so what are your ideas so I can steal them and make myself look smarter?

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 15, 2011
Location: San Diego Sports Arena, San Diego, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Summerslam and there are a lot of questions to be answered. Alberto Del Rio is the new WWE Champion after cashing in MITB on CM Punk. However, when Punk pinned Cena to become official champion, Cena’s foot was on the rope. Also, Kevin Nash attacked Punk to cost him the title to Del Rio. Was Del Rio the one that hired Nash? We’ll find that out tonight in theory. Also Del Rio has to defend against Rey Mysterio. Let’s get to it.

After a brief recap of last night Nickelback opens us up.

Here’s HHH to open the show. He says he made a mistake last night and he’ll tell that to Cena’s face later. If he hadn’t screwed up he’s not sure who would have won but he would have had no problem raising the hand of CM Punk. HHH assures us he had nothing to do with it though. He’s friends with Nash and all he did was leave Nash some tickets to the show. There’s an invitation for Nash to be here tonight. As for Del Rio, that’s just how Money in the Bank works. There’s only one WWE Champion, and here he is.

Cue Alberto who talks about how awesome he is and he talks about destiny. He says he’s going to be a great champion and he’ll be in the lobby all night signing autographs and taking pictures. That’s the kind of champion he’ll be: a champion of the people. For his first title defense he’s going to beat Rey. That took him a few minutes to say for some reason. The people need to change their area code because after tonight he’ll be their new hero. This was oddly not full blown heel.

HHH goes into Cena’s dressing room.

John Morrison vs. R-Truth

This is falls count anywhere. Morrison says he’s going to give the Little Jimmys something to cheer about. Also Truth has what sounds like a rock/instrumental version of his old theme song. Morrison takes over to start and we go to the floor quickly. Big corkscrew dive takes Truth down for two. Moonlight Drive (I know that’s probably not the name of it but who cares) off the railing gets the same.

Truth fights back and hits a sitout gordbuster for two as we take a break. Back with Truth getting two on the floor off a move we don’t see. A replay shows that he dumped Morrison off the top while Morrison was punching him. Total dominance by the Jimmy Hater extraordinaire. We go into the crowd and Truth sends Morrison sprawling onto the concrete for two.

Coming back to ringside though Morrison gets a big kick to the head which was nearly a Pele and nearly gets the three. Truth rams him into the steps to take momentum right back. He grabs a rolling chair but a clothesline stops it. Morrison suplexes Truth onto the chair and hits a running knee to the head for the pin at approximately 11:00. The ending was kind of sudden.

Rating: B-. Well Morrison is certainly better in gimmick matches. This is what he was made for: wild brawls that he can hit his offense out of nowhere in. That’s what the whole Parkour stuff fits in with so it makes perfect sense. Also good to see him get a win because he hasn’t done much of note since coming back.

Punk is here.

Here’s Miz who is rocking a suit. He wants to talk to someone famous tonight: it’s Jared from Subway. Jared is sitting in the front row with a sandwich in his hand. Miz says he should be the pitchman for Subway and steals the sandwich. He gives a well scripted commercial for it and then tells the Subway executives to thank him for putting the chicken sandwich or whatever on Twitter as a trending topic. He’ll be a champion again, catchphrase and he’s out.

Nash is here.

Trace Adkins is here.

Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres vs. Bella Twins

Kelly takes let’s say Brie down and does the stupid Stink Face. Kelly gets double teamed and beaten down for awhile. Brie does something painful looking as she bends Kelly’s leg all the way to the point where her boot is touching her own face. Something resembling a flapjack allows the tag to Eve. She cleans house and the moonsault ends this at about 3:00. Not much at all here.

Rating: C. Not a horrible match at all here and the potential Eve heel turn seems like a distinct possibility. This was fine as the match wasn’t great or anything but they’re getting better. There’s some thought to the matches now rather than go out, do signature moves, Kelly wins. That’s a step in the right direction.

Post match here are Beth (rocking a black dress) and Natalya. They stare the good girls down and that’s about it.

Here’s Kevin Nash after a list of his accomplishments. No music though. The hair and beard are both dark. He thanks HHH for letting him come here and explain his actions. He talks about being friends with HHH for years and mentions that HHH is the godfather of Nash’s son. Nash talks about how HHH left him some tickets as a favor. Just before the main event last night, there was a text from a friend (doesn’t say any names) asking Nash to take out whoever wins the title. Nash did it as a favor and says to Punk that it was just business. He implies that HHH knew about it but doesn’t say it was HHH that send the text.

Nash goes to leave and here’s Punk. Punk talks about how HHH and Nash were clearly in on this together because HHH keeps talking about what is good for business. Punk asks Nash if he’d jump off a bridge if it was good for business, because Punk thinks it would be good for business. He says Nash being there is HHH’s version of “good for business”. Nash says they’ve never talked before but Punk needs to watch his mouth. Punk says this is his world and Nash says your world just changed.

Punk says maybe HHH is telling the truth and maybe Nash is the liar. Nash offers to show the text from his phone. Punk offers a text from his sister, saying that she thought Nash was dead. Punk says it’s just Nash’s career that is dead. He says he’s mad at a lot of people but Del Rio isn’t one of them because that’s something he’s done. One person he is mad about is HHH for bringing his cronies back. Nash says HHH shook things up around here. Punk says he did that and Nash calls him an indy-rific wannabe.

Nash talks about Punk loses the title so fast he doesn’t have time to keep it. Punk says it’s 2011, not 1994. Nash says if you want to go back to the past, let’s go back to 1996 and what he and Hall did (no Hogan or NWO reference) and how it made everyone a bunch of money. Can’t argue there. Nash says go hit the weights and take a shower because you look like a short order cook from a Pikeville (KENTUCKY) Waffle House. Punk: “I like Waffle House.”

CM makes fun of the past gimmicks of Nash, such as Oz and Vinnie Vegas. Punk says that’s enough talk so let’s fight right here in San Diego. He goes to the ring but security steps in to stop him. Punk says that’s because of HHH so he’ll go talk to the COO himself because Nash is in the ring and can’t watch HHH’s back at the moment. Punk won this one as Nash was looking for answers at times near the end.

We get more highlights of Rey’s world title wins as they’re trying to play up this as a huge moment for him.

Nash goes into HHH’s office but he’s not there. Johnny Ace is there and is as slimy as ever. He wants to talk to Nash about something in private. Nash shakes his head but goes with him.

We get a recap of Ziggler and Vickie arguing last week.

Alex Riley vs. Jack Swagger

When we come back from the recap Dolph and Vickie are on commentary and arguing. Basic stuff to start as the couple argues at ringside. Vader Bomb hits and Swagger puts on a double chickenwing. They argue about Vickie’s bad breath which results in Vickie complaining about not getting enough kisses. Key lock goes on and Dolph says Vickie knows her role. Even Cole is laughing at Jerry’s jokes here.

Spinebuster puts Swagger down as JR desperately tries to talk about the match. Vickie gets up and steals JR’s hat for no apparent reason. Riley gets in a kick to the head as Vickie….puts the hat on the referee. Riley is distracted and it lets Swagger botch the gutwrench bomb twice before the third attempts ends this at 4:24.

Rating: C. We’ll call this average because the point of this was the Dolph/Vickie stuff. The ending makes a bit more sense now as it was about getting Riley distracted to let Swagger get the win. I’m curious to see where this is going but hopefully it leads to Vickie leaving Dolph or vice versa because he doesn’t need her at all.

Post match Dolph stomps on the hat.

After a break Swagger comes up to Vickie and suggests she expands the people she manages, implying he wants her to manage him.

Same video package from last night about WWE being in LA.

Punk goes into HHH’s locker room and finds Stephanie. She says he didn’t actually win last night which is true. She says people always get what they deserve and leaves with a kind of evil look on her face.

Kofi Kingston/Evan Bourne vs. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty

The champs have new music and McGillicutty is in a skull cap. Shawn Michaels tweeted about Nash and it’s kind of implied he might be back. Kofi vs. Michael starts us off. That doesn’t go anywhere so it’s off to Bourne who gets beaten down. Make that gets beaten down for a very long time. I’m kind of stunned by the fact that the tag champions have held the titles for the longest stretch in over a year.

We talk about Hillbilly Jim for no apparent reason and it’s hot tag to Kofi. He beats up his former NXT Rookie but stumbles on the top rope cross body. He manages to shift it into a clothesline though so it’s nowhere near as bad as it could have been. McGillicutty gets a dropkick to Kingston’s back but is knocked into position for the Shooting Star Press which ends this at 4:40.

Rating: C-. A little boring but the Shooting Star is always worth seeing. Also it’s nice to see the champions actually having a challenge for a change. I’d go with the Usos because there’s an actual feud there but whatever. Nothing great here but it adds a little story to the division which is all you can ask for anymore.

Raw World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio

The new champ rolls out in a bright red Ferrari. Rey is the hometown boy so he gets a huge pop. It seems to be the Undisputed WWE Championship now. We continue the old school weapon checks but don’t even get big match intros. Fast paced stuff to start but it’s pretty basic. Rey sends him to the floor as we take a break. The bell rang at 10 until 11pm so they don’t have a ton of time.

Back with Rey in a body vice and he pulls half of the mask off. Alberto takes him up to the top which doesn’t work at all as Rey takes him down with a tornado DDT. Wicked one too. Spinning cross body gets two. Rolling sunset flip gets two. Rey gets taken down for a bit but takes to the air, sending Alberto to the floor. Gorgeous Asai Moonsault takes both guys down.

Seated Senton hits and he gets Alberto into the 619 position. Alberto takes his head off with a clothesline though and complains when it only gets two. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets the same result. Corner enziguri gets two. Rey grabs a rollup out of nowhere for two to break up the armbreaker.

Dropkick puts Rey down and he goes for the arm again. Rey reverses into an electric chair position and into a rana for the 619 position. The call connects (hate that term but whatever) and it’s top rope splash time. Jerry declares it over which seals Rey’s fate. The splash hits knees and Alberto gets a small package for the pin at 12:50.

Rating: C+. Pretty good match here and Alberto wins clean which is something that he certainly needs. These two have chemistry and this was no exception to it, which is probably due to them having so many matches together over the past year. Good stuff here and it worked rather well for a TV main event.

Post match Alberto goes for the arm and snaps it on the rope then puts the armbreaker on. Cena runs out for the save and wants a mic.  He rants about how much his weekend sucked and is all kinds of serious.  he says Alberto cashed in a briefcase and got lucky.  One days he’s going to have to defend it (kind of like he just did?) and if it’s against Cena, he won’t be so lucky.  Serious Cena works very well and this was one of those moments.

Overall Rating: A-. This show was about drama and it certainly worked I think. We still have a lot of questions and it’s interesting TV. The lack of wrestling hurt it but at times you need to have some drama out there and there’s nothing wrong with that at all. This was a good show and it built up very well towards the big main event and the drama helped that a lot. Good show overall and I want to see next week’s show now.

Results

John Morrison b. R-Truth – Running knee to the head

Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly b. Brie Bella – Moonsault

Jack Swagger b. Alex Riley – Gutwrench powerbomb

Kofi Kingston/Evan Bourne b. Michael McGillicutty/David Otunga – Shooting Star Press to McGillicutty

Alberto Del Rio b. Rey Mysterio – Small Package

Summerslam 2010
Date: August 15, 2010
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Matt Striker, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Well we’re back again for the *insert Summerfest joke here* show. This is the epitome of a one match show as EVERYTHING has been about the Nexus invasion. The theory is that Cena turns tonight but I’m not sold on it. Nexus more or less has to win tonight or the angle is worthless. I’m not sold on this card very well at all, but it’s starting now so let’s get to it.

The opening is of course all about Nexus, which makes sense. The arena and set look great as this really is a huge show.

Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston

Pretty clear that Dolph retains here. Vickie does her usual whining and catchphrase here just to be annoying. Nice pop for Kofi but nothing great. We’re in MALTA BABY! Kofi misses a dive to start and is in trouble early on. Apparently the tag titles either aren’t major titles or his win is forgotten into the Rocker Tag Title Book of History. King makes a joke about liking 11s or 12s. On a 1-10 scale you freaking perverts.

Dolph is mostly dominant here as he hooks a chinlock. Kofi can’t get the “controlled frenzy” going according to Cole. Does everything have to have a name now? Dolph gets two on a roll thru of a cross body. We get a Fameasser reference from Striker as it makes Kofi famous. Even Lawler chuckles at it. He’s more energetic tonight for some reason. Trouble in Paradise misses, which might be because OF THE MASSIVE CHANTING OF BOOM BOOM BOOM by Kofi.

Sleeper goes on….AND HERE THEY COME? Yes, Nexus hits the ring and beats them up before circling Kofi. The big beatdown follows as I have a bad feeling about where this show is going. Barrett says this is a preview of later tonight. Expect a Kofi run-in later. Nexus is united apparently.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match for what they had, but the ending is very strange. This wasn’t bad, but with no ending like this it really hurt things. I really do expect the Cena turn now for some reason, which is why it likely won’t happen. Anyway, this needed a finish to be good but even still it’s decent.

Jericho wants Miz on the team tonight and so does Edge. Edge eating a Slim Jim is epic for no reason at all. They say he could be a huge star but doesn’t say yes.

Alicia Fox vs. Melina

Well at least this should be short. Melina has a freaking headdress on and she looks like a freaking idiot. Fox is attractive with straight hair. Shame that’s not the case here. Melina is in the skin colored tights which are always weird looking. Melina is the hometown girl so she’s all awesome and such apparently. Yep this is boring. It’s not bad, but seriously does ANYONE care about this match?

Still waiting on something to happen here. Melina might have hurt her knee on a move from the ropes. Alicia of course does nothing about it. Nice superkick by Melina. This is just boring me to death but Melina’s gyrations are helping a bit. That girl could make a KILLING as a stripper. After FAR too long, Melina wins with more or less a weird snapmare. Apparently it’s called the Mind Trip. Ok then.

After the win, cue Laycool to annoy Melina. They say this is awesome and want to take a picture with “two champions” in it so hopefully this will lead to a unification thing soon. Brawl ensues and the worst kick every by Michelle misses by at least 8 inches. Laycool’s music continues to be awesome. Michelle does a knee into the tables to put down Melina for a good while.

Rating: D. This was pretty bad. The ending came out of nowhere but thankfully it ended a bad match. I’m very glad to see that there might be a unification soon, but will anyone care even after that? It’s definitely the right move but with people like Fox chasing it then the whole thing is in trouble. Not a good match.

After a quick recap of the SES vs. Show, we go to this.

Straightedge Society vs. Big Show

How appropriate to have this after that video package. It’s Mercury, Punk and Gallows. Show dominates Mercury and Gallows in about a minute to get us to Punk, who gets face cheers. Oh and Show’s hand is fine. Gallows and Mercury get back up and the 3-1 beatdown begins.

Show comes back of course as it occurs to me that Punk has the most hair of anyone out there. Punk goes for the springboard clothesline and gets caught by the throat. He kicks Show in the head which was cool looking. Cole calls a bulldog a DDT because he’s a stupid man. Punk does a bunch of strikes to the hand and it just ticks Show off. Punk gets knocked to the floor and leaves. Mercury gets chokeslammed and pinned while on top of Gallows. Here lies the SES.

Rating: D+. Pretty weak here as more or less we knew it was just going to be Show winning in the end due to his huge size advantage. This was an ok match and the ending advances the story, but dang man why do they have to crush the SES again? For once could they actually let something go on for more than a month without crippling it?

Kane talks to the casket and Sheamus of all people comes up, saying he’d like to borrow the casket to put Orton in. Kane says no. Sheamus says stay out of his way and Kane yells at him. Odd moment but cool potential.

And here’s Miz. The Raw title match is next so he has a reason to be here. He wants to know if he should be on the team. The fans cheer but he doesn’t care what they think. Allegedly Hart and Cena begged for him to be on the team. He talks about every person on the team and how they’ve all done things to get him on the team. Awesome promo but he wants the fans to admit it. After a HUGE delay, he says yes he’ll be on the team. Cole orgasms loudly.

We recap Orton vs. Sheamus, which isn’t much at all. Orton won a match and now he’s the number one contender. The hype for this has more or less not existed.

Raw World Title: Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

Orton is in purple and Sheamus is in green, making this just freaking weird looking. Sheamus powers him back to start which is odd since he’s kind of quietly powerful. Slow start here which should be a good sign but I’m not sure here. They tease a countout and Orton is dominating which is a weird formula for a match.

This is just boring as they’re going WAY too slow. Orton’s arm gets worked on and the elevated DDT is reversed into a backdrop. Sheamus is in control and not much is going on. He hits basic moves and covers. This is apparently the main event and it started about 5 minutes after 9. He gets technical with a drop toehold to put Orton down.

Sheamus likes to use a double axehandle which is kind of a cool move for him to use. More people should use it. When I say more I mean like one total. Sheamus at least works on the arm which is the right idea if nothing else. Orton gets the backbreaker as this is just DRAGGING. The boo/yay cheers start up for punching. Orton does his usual array of clotheslines as I fight off sleep due to this.

Middle rope suplex gets two for the guy with non-mayonnaise colored skin. Sheamus hits his backbreaker for two which of course Cole is surprised by when the kickout happens. Brogue Kick misses though and Sheamus hits the floor. There’s the DDT but the RKO is countered which surprised me. He shoved him off and it legit looks like he hit it from both angles. Clearly countered though which was cool.

High Cross and RKO are both countered but Orton walks into the Brogue Kick for two as the fans are into this now. That’s the issue with WWE Title matches: you don’t have to get into them for a long time and everyone knows it so for the first ten minutes no one cares. Sheamus gets a chair and shoves the referee out for the CHEAP DQ.

Rating: D+. Oh this was bad. The ending crippled the actually solid last 5 minutes or so as the rest of this was just flat out boring. The slow style of both guys crippled each other and the ending had me shaking my head at how freaking dumb it was. I don’t get this at all as if nothing else have Sheamus get the chair shot and win that way but dang man, this was freaking stupid.

Post match Orton snaps and hits the RKO on the table. Good for him. Table didn’t break so at least it looked good. Sheamus is announced as still champion which should make us wait for either HHH or Miz’s theme music. Naturally we get the Legendary trailer.

We recap the way overdone Rey vs. Kane issue, which comes down to one thing: how would Rey know who did it? This took almost five minutes.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Kane

Kane brings the casket with him. Striker even throws out a quick summary of the Taker/Kane childhood which you NEVER hear anymore. Kane goes right for him and gets kicked in the knee. They talk about the keys to victory and King says that Rey’s potential innocence should help him win. Uh, what? Striker thinks this is speed vs. power. You can’t buy commentary like this people!

Kane takes over and we slow it down again. He gets a baseball slide which is cool looking. Can you imagine Kane playing baseball? That’s just funny for some reason. 619 is blocked and Kane takes his head off with a clothesline. We’re clearly just filling in time until the finish. It’s been mostly Kane here and as soon as I say that Kane goes into the post. Rey hits a flying battering ram move but Kane takes over AGAIN with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, a cool move.

Cole likes to talk about people being in the box. Kane wants the referee to ASK HIM. He’s been chilling with Jericho I guess. Top rope rana is blocked and Rey’s knee might be hurt. Wait wasn’t his ankle hurt on Smackdown? Springboard Splash misses so Rey just kicks Kane in the head. Well that works if nothing else. After more uneventful stuff, the 619 is blocked and Rey gets thrown into the casket.

The casket is closed and you know Taker will be in it soon. Chokeslam is blocked and 619 hits. Rey gets two off a counter to a counter to the springboard splash as the end is clearly near. Chokeslam hits to retain THANK GOODNESS!

Rating: C-. Better than the last match as at least this had an ending. It was still boring but Kane winning clean is a nice perk. You know it’ll wind up being Kane vs. Taker but Kane getting a clean win like this is good for him because he flat out needs them for some credibility. Not horrible but I’ve seen worse.

Post match Kane says he’s going to put Rey in the casket and opens it, showing that it’s empty. Two chokeslams and a tombstone (sick one too) and of course Taker is in the casket. He goes for Rey and asks if he’s heard of an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth? Taker asks him why he did it but Rey insists it wasn’t him. Hand around throat and the throat slit sign but he turns to Kane. Kane breaks Taker’s grip and tombstones him, leaving him laying. These guys are on and off more than all the high school relationships in history. Yep Kane is the heel again.

Ad for Smackdown on Sci-Fi.

Clips of Summerslam Axxess which looks awesome.

Recap of Nexus vs. Cena’s Army. If you don’t know this by now, go read the Raw recaps since I’m sick of this story.

Nexus vs. R-Truth/Edge/Chris Jericho/Miz/John Cena/Bret Hart/John Morrison

Remember that this is elimination. This should go for a LONG time. New shirt for Cena. Miz comes out last and Cena has something to say. Cena has a replacement, and it’s DANIEL BRYAN. The really weird thing here is that there was an article up on WWE.com where it spoiled this half an hour before it happened. That’s very freaky and I can’t imagine the speech he got because of it.

Nexus vs. R-Truth/Edge/Chris Jericho/Daniel Bryan/John Cena/Bret Hart/John Morrison

BIG brawl to start as Cole runs down Bryan every second because he has to. The official starters are Bryan and Young. This should be quick. Hey I’m right as Bryan gets a crossface and Young is out in like 30 seconds. That evens things out since Hart is more or less worthless. Gabriel and Jericho are in now and don’t expect every tag to be mentioned since it’s going to be very fast paced.

Tarver comes in and throws a lot of punches. Morrison gets a nice pop as the hometown boy. Flash Kick and Starship Pain put Tarver down to make it 7-5. He landed on his back this time so we’ll call that a success. Barrett wants a huddle. Sheffield comes in and boxes with Morrison kind of as Nexus takes over. The fans want Bret as it’s all Sheffield. Morrison makes a comeback but walks into a kick by Gabriel and the clothesline from Sheffield to make it 6-5.

Sheffield hits Truth in like 30 seconds to tie it up. Jericho comes in and gets beaten down. Why do they keep calling them Team WWE? Nexus is in WWE officially right? Jericho vs. Barrett is an interesting match actually. Bret and Slater come in as Cena hasn’t been in yet, which is rather interesting. Bret does basic stuff and gets the Sharpshooter but there’s a chair in. Sheffield gets the tag and Bret pops him with the chair for reasons of basic stupidity. That’s the best way to get rid of him since he can’t take a power move due to his health so there isn’t another way to do it really.

As a recap it’s Cena/Edge/Jericho/Bryan vs. Sheffield/Barrett/Slater/Otunga/Gabriel. Sheffield gets up and walks into the Codebreaker. Spear ties us up at 4. Gabriel gets a SICK spin kick on Edge. The kick itself was just ok but the impact looked great. Barrett and Edge slow us down a bit. Edge gets a spinwheel kick which is one of his old moves. I haven’t seen him use that in forever.

Otunga comes in and is booed out of the building. Edge hits the Edgecution and gets a face pop for it. Not sure whether it’s for Edge or against Otunga but whatever. Edge gets the tag but STILL no Cena. This is certainly compelling. Lionsault hits and Striker says HE HIT IT! Jericho loses the Walls for a bit but Otunga eventually taps to get us to 4-3 Team Cena. Jericho is wrestling like Lionheart here and a BIG Y2J chant starts. I still want a Jericho face title run.

And he runs into Cena, resulting in Slater hitting his Zig Zag for the tie. Cena and Edge both want in and Edge yells while Bryan plays peacemaker. Slater runs Edge into Cena and rolls him up to get Jericho and Edge in less than a minute. Edge and Jericho beat up Cena before leaving. Jericho: YOU’RE A STUPID MAN! Cena/Bryan vs. Slater/Barrett/Gabriel. Cena is finally in now and gets his head kicked in.

Very good match so far as Nexus has looked STRONG. Cena can’t get anything going and Cole will not shut up about Bryan. Gabriel gets a DDT on Cena that looked good. Everyone beats on Cena and as I say that we get a double clothesline. Bryan comes in and cleans house, using a freaking big boot. Striker wants Cattle Mutilation. Where’s PETA when you need them?

Cena is down on the floor which makes me wonder where this is going. Cena as heel vs. Bryan as face? After a lot of GOOD stuff from Bryan he gets Slater to tap. And cue Miz with the briefcase to blast Bryan and make it 2-1 with Barrett/Gabriel vs. Cena. Cena is more or less dead though despite not being beaten down past anything overly special. He goes into the ending sequence though after a missed Gabriel splash in the corner.

FU doesn’t work as Gabriel makes the tag and Nexus takes over again. It’s a massive beatdown here as Cena has NOTHING. The two guys pull the mats on the floor back and Barrett hits a DDT on the exposed concrete. Gabriel gets tagged in and the 450 MISSES! Cena rolls up Gabriel and instantly gets the STFU on Barrett for the TAP AND THE WIN!

Rating: B+. This was very good. They booked it perfectly, including the ending. As I said in the LD, Cena moved, covered, did a drop toehold, laid on Barrett’s back and pulled. THAT’S IT. That’s how he beat them both. He wasn’t doing an FU to both guys after escaping their finishers and hitting 4 shoulder blocks each. He outmoved them and it worked fine. Nexus looked solid out there and the whole thing looked fine. This was a good match and well done. It certainly wasn’t bad and is nowhere near what people are making it out to be. I loved this and it made the show for the most part.

Overall Rating: B. This was a good show, but it’s a kind that would need a footnote. This is the definition of a one match show. I don’t mean one match is great and the rest suck. I mean this was built around one single match and nothing else on the card mattered at all. Other than the 7 on 7 match, what else was hyped at all?

Luckily, that match was very good and hit on all cylinders. The rest of the card is ok, but it could have been better. The Orton/Sheamus ending was just bad. Kane overpowering Taker is interesting as it actually gives us some intrigue. This was a good show overall, powered mainly by the main event’s success. Not worth seeing much other than the main, but that’s expected with a show like this.

So there you have it: The History of Summerslam. For 23 years the show has served as the second biggest show of the year and I’d say it hasn’t disappointed very often. There have been some bad ones, but there’s also been some great ones. It’s a great pairing to go with Mania as it’s about 4 months later and things have changed a decent amount in between.

Complete with the Survivor Series and the Rumble, you could almost see this as the beginning of the WWE year. Think about it. Of the four major shows, Mania is the end of the year, so this could be the beginning as Backlash is usually the epilogue with the Mania rematches. This is the first big show of the year, so it’s a big benchmark if you look at it that way. I’ll be back with Survivor Series starting around Halloween, so until then…..um….dang I need a catchphrase.

I’ll be back tomorrow with this year’s show hopefully as soon as it ends.  Thanks for reading.

Summerslam 2009
Date: August 23, 2009
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17,129
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Josh Matthews

With another year under our belts since the previous Summerslam, our main feuds are Cena and Orton and Punk (woo!) and Hardy. As many of you may likely know, this very well could be Hardy’s last match with the company. Our other big deal is the return (again) of DX, this time facing Legacy.

While a lot of people have criticized this, the segment that they had on Raw was excellent in my eyes. Shawn is a guy that can just come from nowhere and have a great match. The card actually looks pretty freaking sweet tonight. That doesn’t mean it’ll be good, but let’s get to this.

I liked the Summerslam logo this year. It looked a bit old school. The intro is hijacked by DX doing shadow puppets, but they freeze it on Legacy. Apparently this was the kiss cam and Cody loves Ted. Ted says ditto. So he loves himself I guess?

Anyway, they have some shenanigans going on which are kind of funny. I like the DX comedy sometimes. It’s not going to be the 90s version, so why compare it to that? It was fairly funny, involving DX breaking the feed of the intro and Shawn trying to fix it. It’s better than it sounds.

JR does the opening alone. That’s just odd. I like Aerosmith though so I’m not complaining about the music. As has become the custom, no buildup for the first match.

Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Dolph Ziggler

I’m quite surprised this is opening. This is a rematch from NOC as well, which allegedly was brought on by Rey simply whining about not having a long enough reign yet. Based on that, I think the title change is coming here but odder things have happened before. They had a great match last month so I’m assuming this will be good too. Ziggler is growing on me, but I have a hard time getting on Kerwin White.

Rey comes out first. Why? He’s the champion. Now we get Grisham to talk so that’s an improvement I guess. I like the purple and gold on him. It’s almost reminiscent of his WCW days but not quite. I miss the big semi-circle video screen that they used to have for Summerslam. Ross forgot Ziggler’s first name. How dare he forget the real name of Ivan Drago? Ziggler’s music is awesome. How did Kerwin White actually keep a job this long?

Just goes to show you that you can’t make fun of wrestlers when they have horrible gimmicks. Other than Santino of course. He will always suck. The graphic of the belt looks very cool for some reason. Wow the IC belt is actually opening the show. That’s an odd thing to think of. Ziggler is freaking ripped. I’m getting close, dangerously close actually, to liking this guy.

Love that quick powerslam that’s done coming off of the ropes. It just looks awesome. Ok, that moonsault was SWEET. Rey doesn’t do his old style often, but when he does it’s freaking amazing. Ziggler has leopard print gloves. That’s either really stupid or really awesome. That was a pretty weak corner powerbomb. I guess Rey’s size makes up for it. This has been pretty hard hitting so far. What more can you ask for?

Apparently Rey makes a habit out of getting people in the corner and drop toe holding them. Yeah I’ve never seen him do that in the corner either. Thank you JR. Dolph just kills him with a clothesline afterwards. That looked awesome. He used a Stinger Splash. He has to be cool. Sick looking head bump on the post from it too. Rey goes for a springboard reverse crossbody but Dolph hits a perfect dropkick to the ribs. That was sweet.

This is a very good match. And there it is. We have our stupid way to get into position for the 619. My only criticism of Dolph is his offense is a bit basic. If he upgrades that he’ll be very good. He’s rocking the bad Mr. Perfect haircut though, so I’m not wild about that either. I kind of like the white ropes, but I’m not sure.

Ziggler finally avoids the springboard splash in the most basic way of all: he sits up. Why is that so complicated for some people? The fans are chanting for Ziggler here, which is surprising but also good I guess. Rey gets a hurricanrana from the top to win and keep the title in a very good match.

Rating: A-. This was a GREAT opener. It was fast paced, it was solid, and the face won. I’m hyped for the rest of the show and it’s 330 in the morning. That’s exactly what an opening match is supposed to be. See how effective the IC belt can be when it’s not being used in bad comedy angles? Ziggler looks awesome here which is all you can ask for. See what they do on Smackdown? They have the veterans make the young guys look good. That’s how you keep the future going people.

Josh is in the back with Swagger and MVP who say that tonight there’s a culture clash. Both are solid on the mic here, but Swagger impresses me a lot more. He’s got the heel character down to a T and the cockiness is perfect. MVP is good, but not as good. Also, he talks about how Swagger has this great background and was a rich kid. Ok, that’s fine, but he still won with athleticism in the NCAA. Swagger won this promo war with ease and he’s making the DDP two time two time thing better.

King and Lawler say nothing of importance.

Jack Swagger vs. MVP

My goodness…could it be? I mean, it’s impossible isn’t it? This couldn’t be…a regular non-title midcard match? I…I think it is! Now, can you find anyone that actually thinks MVP has a chance? His face turn has been a complete disaster as he’s just cut out to be the cocky heel. Go back to it already. After those promos, I’m looking forward to this. The opening 25 minutes to this has been pretty sweet so far.

MVP goes for the Ballin Elbow about 19 seconds into this, but because it takes longer than that to set it up, it doesn’t work. I don’t get why these two are having this match anyway, since Swagger pinned him clean already on Raw. This is a very slow paced match and the fans aren’t liking it that much. They’re way behind the face though as he’s in the Monsoon Special, which I’m sure Gorilla would find something wrong with.

Looking at it, it is pretty sloppy. Sick clothesline stops MVP’s comeback though. Into a half camel clutch which wouldn’t actually hurt but now it’s full. At least Swagger knows how to hurt people. Ok, Swagger gets knocked down and MVP sets up for the Ballin Elbow. I timed him on this: SIXTEEN SECONDS from the time that he got in position to the time it connected. That’s over 5 pins. Seriously, could you not just cover the guy in that amount of time?

They fight a bit more…and MVP wins clean with the playmaker? What the heck? MVP actually won this thing and he did it clean. How in the world did that happen? I’m genuinely surprised by that, and I don’t think it’s in a good way. AGAIN they mention the chick from The View. WE GET IT!

Rating: C. This was fine, but short and surprising. It certainly wasn’t bad, but at just 6 and a half minutes they didn’t have the time to get anything going. There were some bad spots in there too where it was just flat out boring, but luckily they were quick. Again, not bad, but it’s really nothing special. It felt like a Raw match.

Don’t try this at home. Good advice actually.

Luke Perry is here. I don’t care.

We get a recap of the guest hosting thing, which I think has gone well. ZZ Top was awful but other than that, I think it’s gone well. I still want to murder Dr. Ken though. It’s worked for one simple reason in my eyes: for the most part, they’ve gotten people that either have a ton of charisma or seem like legit WWE fans. That’s all you can ask for really.

Nancy O’Dell reads off a script about her charity. Yeah that’s fine. It’s for ALS, aka Lou Gehrig’s Disease. She talks to people like Freddie Prinze Jr…and that’s it. She’s apparently going to host Raw in the future. I’ll be reading something that night. She’s very annoying.

Tag Titles: Big Show/Jericho vs. Cryme Tyme

Speaking of annoying, I don’t like the champion’s new music. This has actually been built up pretty well I’d think, with Show being the partner to replace Edge when he got hurt. It seemed to me that was a last second decision, but whatever. Cryme Tyme is one of the oddest teams I can ever remember. They’ve never actually done anything, so maybe they will here. I’m not holding my breath though.

Actually, this match has gotten the third most build, which isn’t what I expected. However, I’m certainly glad to see a tag title match getting this kind of TV time. It’s what the belts really need. Again the champions come out first. Jericho runs down celebrities in general. Isn’t he a celebrity as well? Oh apparently he’s a superstar, which isn’t a celebrity. That…doesn’t make a lot of sense.

For the second time in 2 minutes we hear that they have over 40 titles between them. Show looks like he’s losing a bit of weight. That’s a good thing. Cryme Tyme interrupts Show’s promo. Remember what I said about the show being good so far? They just ruined it. They’re just freaking annoying to say the least. What have they ever actually accomplished? Oh yeah they got fired for being annoying.

JR makes another reference that no one gets. There’s no way that the faces are winning here, due to reasons of suck, but maybe at least we can get a decent match out of it. Yeah that’s not going to happen I don’t think. Jericho goes for the walls but instead goes for a slingshot. JTG just kind of jumps on him, which looks sloppy and stupid as usual. Grisham says that they’re trying to turn Hollywood into Holly-hood. Take me now.

JTG has to stay in there longer than he should simply because Shad sucks. He’s a beast as far as his look goes though, and he’s able to stand up to Show in the size department. Yeah he’s a lot better on defense. Show is freaking scary to say the least. Jericho whispers a spot to Shad which looks really bad. It’s never good when it’s on a major PPV and a veteran has to carry a team that’s been around as long as Cryme Tyme has been.

I think that’s my real issue with them: they’ve been around for a good few years and they just never get any better. The full nelson is applied, and of course we have the eternal question: WHO WAS NELSON? Maybe Babyface Nelson? Anybody? Anybody? I’ll be here all night. Jericho puts another hold on him, which makes sense because it’s really all Shad can do: get put in holds and sit there. It’s a scary thing when JTG is the bright spot of the team. Yeah this team is awful.

Jericho gets him in the Walls, and amazingly, he doesn’t tap. Seriously, can they bury this move any more than they already have? It’s just stupid how it doesn’t work on anyone at all anymore. When’s the last time someone tapped to it? Anyway, Show hits the punch for the knockout and Jericho gets the glory.

I’m really starting to like this team dynamic as Jericho does all the talking but Show wins the matches for them. At the very end of the segment, Ross mentions Big Show is undefeated at Summerslam. See, that is an interesting stat, and it would have been a lot more interesting at the beginning of the match.

Rating: D+. Yeah this was boring. Shad is just flat out awful, and JTG is just ok. The only reason they get over is their gimmick and nothing more. That’s just flat out boring in all aspects and nothing good comes of it. I can’t stand them and there was just nothing they could do here to make this interesting at all.

Ad for Breaking Point. Interesting concept, but I’m not sold on it. The main events only thing makes me feel better though.

Josh is with Punk who says a movie script he found called the Jeff Hardy story. He runs down LA and the lifestyle there and elsewhere, which yet again, rings amazingly true on so many levels. Every single thing that Punk has said in his promos has been true, and it’s amazing to say the least.

Kane vs. Great Khali

Again, no transition at all. I like Kane’s music here. Once Kane is in the ring, we actually get a long recap, which could have gone…I don’t know, before his entrance so it’s not him just standing there in the ring? This is an intriguing match to me as they’ve had a fairly long build with no official match. That’s a nice plus for a change as it gives this a bit more of a build. Now, if they manage to have a passable match, then we have proof that HBK/God vs. the McMahons was indeed a tag team match.

The reveal of Singh as Khali’s brother was pretty boring but it gives it a bit of a reason for being around Khali so much. Hopefully, this will be short and painless, but I’m not betting on that. JR mentions that Kane is on a four match winning streak at Summerslam. See? That’s another interesting stat and it makes you wonder if he can extend it here tonight. It’s small, but it adds a tiny bit more to the match and might get people more interested in it.

That’s what a commentator is supposed to do: offer insight. When you watch a DVD and listen to a special commentary, you’re listening for insights, maybe some numbers or stories that you wouldn’t know otherwise. That’s what wrestling commentators are supposed to do, but it so rarely happens which is a shame. JR says it’s a bowling shoe match, meaning we’re sorry that this is going to suck so badly.

A lot of this is just Khali showing off how strong he is, which is fine I guess, but I’d like more action. Khali misses a bad looking legdrop and then just sits there. He doesn’t sell anything or anything like that, but just sits there for the low dropkick. Kane apparently sees evil and likes it. I guess that’s why See No Evil sucked: Kane just wasn’t motivated. They fight over their respective chokeslams but that goes nowhere. Oh this is bad. It’s just so freaking sloppy.

To be fair though, what do you expect from two monsters like these? Khali with a sick sounding chop. The top rope clothesline puts Khali down and gets two. He doesn’t really kick out but it’s implied his shoulder was up. JR brings up an interesting point: if Khali quit in his language, would the referee understand it? Amazingly, the Khali chop isn’t enough for a pin. Geez Khali’s hands are freaking massive.

Kane hits a running dropkick to the knee and a running DDT for the win. That finish was kind of awesome actually. I love that Kane didn’t use a bad chokeslam to win it. That’s what I want to see more of in the WWE today: wrestlers winning with moves other than their finishers. It’s not really that hard to do and it works very well I think. Do it more often.

Rating: D+. Oy this was bad indeed. It was very sloppy, but the ending made it a lot better. Also, it was less than 6 minutes. See, that’s intelligent booking. You know these two aren’t going to have a great match, so keep it short. That makes a lot of sense and it made things a lot better than they could have been.

Some hot woman from a talk show is here. Slash is here too, so it’s closer to making me care. Robert Patrick is here.

We hit the recap button on DX vs. Legacy. This one is pretty short. HHH kept getting his head kicked in by them so he said he’d make one phone call. It wound up being about three but he eventually found Shawn as a cook in a diner in San Antonio, in what I thought was a very funny segment. This was followed up by Legacy actually beating them down in a run in on Raw a few days prior to this which at least made this look possible.

Oddly, the stuff about him being a cook is completely omitted from the recap video. What we do get though is a bunch of clips from some of their old exploits which have absolutely nothing to do with this feud or match. For some reason people were hoping that X-Pac or someone like that would return. People, the old DX is dead. All you’re going to get is these two buffoons, so be happy with it and let go of the past already.

Also, this really isn’t as bad as people make it out to be. They’re going to have decent matches and it’s going to help Legacy look legit if they win a single match, which is a good thing. DX can do whatever they like out there and they’re going to get cheered. What else can you ask for out of them really? It’s HHH against someone not named Orton. Be happy.

DX vs. Legacy

Now this is for some reason considered one of the main events. Why? What makes this one of the big matches? Yes, Shawn is back, but when HHH returned against Booker in 2007 it was a midcard match and that was fine. I get that it’s the third biggest match by default, but that doesn’t mean it should be. I’d put the tag titles above this as they’ve had far more build, but whatever. Anyway, let’s get to this.

Ok, I’ve heard great things about the DX intro, and I’ll admit, it was awesome. Basically, it’s an army theme with a bunch of troops coming out in a jeep and firing off guns. Then the stage splits apart and DX comes out on a tank, launching of a bunch of fireworks. The fans are WAY into it and it’s cool. Everything is loud and big here and the crowd is screaming. That’s what you’re looking for here. The fans are the most important thing at the end of the day and they’re loving this.

Screw the people that think the return of DX was stupid. It’s cool and it’s working. The glow sticks are a cool idea too and I’m surprised it took this long for them to be invented. It takes about 5 minutes, but so what? The reaction was awesome, so rock on. Legacy is the evil opponent here, but they have some sweet music. It’s not as great as their 39th song, but it’s better than theme 341B. The announcers point out that this is a huge chance for Legacy and they’re absolutely right.

DX is a team of two hall of fame members, and Legacy are young guys. This is their chance, so hopefully they don’t get crushed. Naturally, HHH starts going strong which makes sense as he’s the face, so why wouldn’t he be in control at first? Oh apparently the right knee of HHH is his vintage knee. That’s good to know. Shawn gets tagged in to a big pop. Apparently the fans think something of this guy.

He does a cool spot where he fakes Cody out when Cody goes for a leapfrog but Shawn gets slapped. That was stupid don’t you think? There’s the return slap that you knew was coming. Legacy is controlling the match. That’s a lot more than I expected them to do actually. HHH is in now and not dominating. This is being worked slowly towards a big ending. That’s a truly lost art in tag team wrestling today.

I’m liking this: DX gets momentum and Legacy keeps stopping them. See, this is how you build a tag team: you let them look good. That’s what veterans are supposed to do: make young guys look good. DiBiase uses a chin lock. Good to see those Orton lessons paying off. It amuses me that as a tag team, Legacy is light years more successful than DX has been. Legacy is I think 3 time tag champions?

DX has definitely never won a tag title. What does that tell you? Lawler says this isn’t what DX had in mind. Yeah they were looking for some Chinese Checkers. Legacy is doing a great job here of keeping HHH in the ring. That’s very old school and it’s working quite well here. We get the boo yay punching sequence which I always kind of hate. Shawn gets the tag in. Cody goes for the Shawn elbow, which apparently is him stealing the move.

I love how they make no issue of Shawn stealing it from Savage who was winning world titles with it before Shawn debuted in the WWF. DX is actually in trouble here and the announcers are putting them over huge, which is all you can ask for. The crowd starts wooing as Shawn puts on a figure four. Cody hits Crossroads on Shawn, which is actually a pretty good name for his finishing move I guess. Rhodes takes a Pedigree as Shawn takes Dream Street.

Dang I actually couldn’t tell Legacy apart there. That’s not a good sign at all. In one of the fastest endings I’ve ever seen, Shawn hits Sweet at least 4 inches from Cody’s Chin Music for the pin. Yeah that wasn’t even close. Literally they were both just standing up and leaning on each other then Shawn took a step back and kicked. Yeah he missed but maybe the air knocked Cody down?

Rating: A. This was a great tag team match for many reasons, but the big one was that Legacy was made to look legit. This wasn’t like when DX dismantled the Spirit Squad week in and week out. Legacy had me believing that the upset was indeed possible. DX made them look good here in a very good 20 minute match. DX should have won, but they won the right way here. That was by far Legacy’s biggest and best match ever, and they brought their best. I’m impressed with both teams.

Ad for the WM 25 special on Saturday which is going to bomb.

ECW Title: Christian vs. William Regal

Not a ton of backstory here. One night on the Abraham Washington Show, a talk show segment on ECW, Regal was simply announced as the #1 contender. 5 days prior to this, he hooked up with Kozlov and Ezekiel Jackson to form a trio with the only real thing in common being that they’re heels. This should be ok I guess. I still have no clue what the massive appeal of Christian is, although he’s had some decent matches lately.

I feel so sorry for the ECW announcers. Literally, we haven’t heard their voices until now, an hour and 40 minutes into the show. Also, yet again the champion comes out first. That’s just odd. Regal comes out with his two big henchmen.

Jackson’s heel turn was just odd as he was a face for all of two weeks and he was never an actual face at that. All that being said, it’s a 10 second match. Regal gets hit with the Killswitch and is out. Jackson and Kozlov are you beaters tonight. I prefer the Weasleys, but that’s just me. They half kill him here as the name Regal’s Roundtable is used. I like that…kind of.

Rating: N/A. Regal doesn’t belong on a major show like this, so I have no issues here at all. I’ve heard a lot of people complaining about how this was a disgrace and what not like that. Bull, this was great. Number one, the exact same thing happened last year as the ECW Title match got 33 seconds. Number two, this got the people’s attention and it made them believe that a match could end at any time.

That’s one of the major evils in WWE right now: there’s no point to watch the first 10-15 minutes of a world title match as it’s always going to go longer than that. Here you have a match where if you turn around to pet your cat the match is over. That’s brilliant. Number three, there was no build at all here. This gives you something to further the angle so you can have a rematch next month. Number four, people are talking about this now.

Isn’t that the point of any match? Number five, EVERYONE knew Christian was retaining here. How awesome does this make him look as champion? He beat an established veteran that fast with one move. This was a stroke of genius, not a disgrace.

They air some video about some F list celebrities and a charity event the roster was at. I won’t make fun of charity events, ever.

Let’s thank Aerosmith for our pointless theme song.

We get something resembling a recap of last Monday where they were tag partners. Cole says that Orton showed his true colors by attacking Orton after the match. EXCUSE ME? HE IS A FREAKING HEEL! HE NEVER WANTED TO BE IN THE TEAM IN THE FIRST PLACE! How is he showing his true colors by doing what he’s done the whole time? My goodness Cole does it cost you money to think or something?

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Well, at least it’s not HHH again. Basically, it’s pretty simple. Cena won the beat the clock thing to get here, and no one is surprised at all. In a rematch from two years ago, let’s do this. Cena runs to the ring which is kind of odd indeed. He gives his hat to his Marine co-star. Great way to get over with the kids there Johnny Boy. Orton comes out to a chorus of mostly boos. Why does the title graphic spin when the belt itself doesn’t?

My goodness I love the big fight introductions. They just work on all levels. After those, we get our recaps. Yeah that’s actually a bit better. It doesn’t waste as much time. They start off on the mat which actually goes pretty well. That’s something you rarely see from these two and while they’re hardly Kurt Angle, that was pretty good. Orton puts Cena down for awhile and when Cena is trying to get back up, it really looks like he’s trying to give Orton head through the tights.

I know that’s said a lot, but this is the closest it’s ever gotten. Orton takes FOREVER to drop a knee which looks like he’s going for a splash. It’s a new move, so of course it’s vintage. I have no problem when it’s actually a vintage move: HBK’s forearm, the facebuster by HHH, Old School etc. However, a move by Orton that he’s bene using for a few months at most? Give me a break. It’s a misuse of the word and insulting to my intelligence.

Cena hits You Can’t See Me, even though I can see him the entire time. This match is FLYING by. It feels like there was no intro or build and we’re already in the middle of it. That’s not good. FU doesn’t go and Orton hits a powerslam, called a scoop slam by Cole, to get back in control. They flat out say the WWE Title is the more valuable title. At least they admit it. Orton goes for the same knee and this time Cena gets out of the way. At least he’s intelligent.

I really don’t like this referee. He has that hitch in his count and it’s just aggravating. Orton hits that elevated DDT which I love as it’s a move that the ropes actually make better. Orton’s eyes really are great when he’s setting for the RKO. Facial expressions can make or break a match. Edge, Orton and Punk are some of the best there are at it. Punt misses and Cena hits the throwback. He hits the top rope legdrop about as well as he ever has, which is to say he actually connected with it.

Apparently Cena throwing his hands up and jumping up and down means FU now. It’s double clothesline time to make this a bit boring. Why is it only on a double clothesline that they’re devastating moves and not something that the guy pops up from? The fans seem confused as to who to cheer for. Orton shoves the referee, rolls to the floor and grabs his belt and leaves.

I say that as Lillian is on screen making me think I should rephrase that, but at the same time maybe I shouldn’t. Within seconds, she’s received word from Vince…but she trails off. She then announces Orton as the new champion, when she was supposed to say still champion. That’s a major mistake and I think it’s because they blew the spot and tried to do too much at once.

Cole tries to cover as fast as he can, and NOW we get the orders right as Vince has said that if Orton gets disqualified Cena wins the belt. More on that later. So the match is restarted and Cena is dominating. Orton goes to the floor and asks for the belt, which is dropped at first, and then he walks to the back saying that he’s done.

Ok, now we’re restarting it AGAIN, and now if he gets counted out we have a new champion. Ok, how in the HECK did she get word that fast? Both finishers are teased but Orton gets a roll up with his feet on the ropes to steal it.

OR DOES HE?

Another referee comes out and says that Orton has his feet on the ropes, so the original referee says this doesn’t count. Ok wait, back up. What about all the times when it’s said that the referee’s decision is final? If that’s the case, then one of two things should happen. #1, no match can end until the referee has had a chance to go back and rewatch the match, or #2, no decision is ever final since if the referee’s decision is final, then he could in theory go back and reverse it at anytime.

In other words, if the referee can reverse his own final decision, then couldn’t a referee go back and reverse something from years ago? If he has final say I don’t see why not. Guess what? It’s another restart. Best sign of the year: This is Why I Watch Smackdown. Preach it brother. STFU is put on and we get the rapidly becoming infamous moment as a “fan” (it’s Ted DiBiase’s brother Brett but that’s not revealed until tomorrow night) jumps into the ring.

Ok, reasons why this is clearly fake. #1, everything stops. In a real situation like this they just keep going. #2, they put the camera on the guy. That makes it fake as whenever this happens, the cameras go off and you can see the fans all watching the guy. #3, they talk about it. That NEVER happens.

#4, and most important of all, given the fact that the match has been restarted 3 times now, do you really expect this to be real? That was my biggest reason. It’s too unrealistic (and that’s saying a lot given this match) for it to have not been planned. Orton hits a quick RKO for the pin.

Rating: B-. For this rating, I’m factoring out all the insanity and I’ll explain why in just a second. Without all that stuff, this was a bad match. It was boring, it was very rushed, and it just wasn’t entertaining. However, I blame a lot of that on the booking, which is what killed this for me. The rating is fairly up there because a lot of the rhythm was taken away by stupid booking. Lillian messed up her lines, and that’s fine.

She had three freaking sets of them. This match suffered horribly from being overbooked. Why do you need the three restarts if you’re going to do the fan thing? Do one or the other, not four things. It’s too confusing, it takes too long, and it’s just stupid by the end. The fan run in thing would have been fine and actually pretty creative if not for the other three restarts.

Why do you need to have so much stuff in the world title match? It makes things look silly to me and it just makes thing far more complicated than they need to be. The match was bad, but the grade will be high because I think a lot of what was bad was based on the booking of the match and not what the wrestlers were doing. In essence, they had to remember four finishes. That’s asking too much of any wrestler and I think it had a lot to do with them not being that on here.

We recap the Punk/Hardy feud, which has been AWESOME.

Smackdown World Title: CM Punk vs. Jeff Hardy

This has been one of the best feuds in recent memory for a few reasons. One, it’s Punk at his best. Two, the clash is so natural that it’s great. Three, the matches have been great. It’s possible Hardy is done after this, so I’d expect a new champion. Punk lost the title to Hardy at Night of Champions in what I would call an odd choice after Punk delivered one of the best promos I’ve ever heard that had me cheering in my room.

Anyway, this is a TLC match, which actually plays into the two time MITB winner’s hands I’d think. Thankfully this has gone on last. Other than some lines from Ross about how Hardy is addicted to adrenaline, it’s a standard hard hitting spotfest that you’ve grown to know and accept in these places. Hardy has some mixed reactions here as I think it’s gotten out that he’s gone. Do announcers not pay attention?

Why are all ladders the biggest they’ve ever seen? Did you know Jeff is like smoke being poured through a keyhole? I’m not sure if you caught it the first 10,000 times Ross has said it. Yep and there it is the major spot, as Hardy, for about the fourth time in his career, goes to the huge ladder and hits the super swanton. Yeah it looks cool, but dang we’ve seen it way too many times. Why didn’t Punk move either?

He wasn’t tied down and it took Hardy longer than it takes him to smoke a bowl to get up there. More commentary problems as this is going on too. Hey, in case you didn’t see it, here’s 15 replays. Hardy is being taken out on a stretcher. I guess that’s how they’re ending him? Yeah that’s…different I guess. While this is happening, Punk starts climbing. Hardy pops up to go after him though.

I love the powers of recuperation that wrestlers have. Punk is hopping up the ladder and it’s just hysterical looking. He looks like a rabbit. Hardy takes a straight fall down off the ladder as Punk takes the belt to end the show. Sweetness indeed. The announcers of course try to make this out to be completely epic. JR sounds like he’s ordering dinner. Way to show emotion there buddy. No wonder you’re in the Hall of Fame.

Before we go though, the gong rings. Taker pops up from under the ring and chokeslams Punk, who is somehow STILL not being respected as champion. Yeah I don’t like this. Match was good though. Post match, a gong strikes. Taker pops up from under the ring and chokeslams the new champion to end the show.

Rating: A. This was a great match and a great way to end the show. It wasn’t complicated like the last show and to me shows why Smackdown is way ahead of Raw right now. This wasn’t all drama and over the top stuff. Sure it was a gimmick match, but it was about the match and not some big screwjob.

At the end of the day, the best way to get over and have a good match/feud is to have good action, not good stories. The last two matches are a classic example of that, and Smackdown did it right while Raw failed.

Overall Rating: A-. This was a VERY good show. It’s not great, but it’s close. The worst match of the night is Kane/Khali, but it’s at least watchable. They kept it short which was smart. The tag title wasn’t much but they kept JTG in there for the majority of the time which is certainly the right thing to do.

Other than that and the STUPID booking for the Raw title match, I really liked this show for one reason: it was about the in ring stuff. That’s the solution to any wrestling company’s problem. At the end of the day, have good matches and the fans will be happy. The matches were good and I’m very pleased with this show and it gets a big recommendation.

Well we only have five matches but here we go:First of all I’ll take Beth getting the title to get it out of the way.

Bryan vs. Barrett I’ll pick Bryan but not by much.  Should be a good match.

Sheamus vs. Henry could go either way.  I’ll flip a coin and go with Sheamus but with zero confidence in it.

Christian over Orton on a hunch.  The ending to the show seems as if Christian has a plan.  I could see a cash-in here but I’m not calling it.

I’ll take Cena to win this but it could go either way again.  I rarely predict shenanigans in a major sense (with TNA it’s not a prediction of if but rather who and when so I don’t count that) but I think HHH might be up to something here.

There will probably be the Usos vs. New Nexus since if you check WWE.com, McGillicutty is officially Smackdown now.  Sounds like plans for a title change to me.

Your thoughts?

Showdown At Shea
Date: August 9, 1980
Location: Shea Stadium, Flushing, New York
Attendance: 36,295
Commentators: Michael Cole, Mick Foley

FINALLY! This is a show I’ve wanted to do for well over a year now and until now I have never been able to find a copy of it. The commentators obviously aren’t from the right era but the original show had no commentary so this is all we’ve got. There were actually three Showdowns at Shea. The first one had a 75 minute draw between two faces for the world title (Morales vs. Sammartino) and the second had the famous Ali vs. Inoki fight (not at the stadium but played on the video screen there).

This one however is the most famous one with the first major Hulk vs. Andre match with the roles reversed and the match that won match of the year in PWI: Larry Zbyszko vs. Bruno Sammartino in the blowoff to a BIG feud in a cage. This is another one of those really glorified house shows but it’s a famous one and it’s nearly a holy grail to me so let’s get to it.

According to WWE 24/7 this is rated TV-14. Make your own jokes.

There’s no special opening here as it’s just Vince doing the in ring announcing and Cole welcomes us to the show. Cole is talking over Vince which today is grounds for death. It’s kind of annoying though as we can’t really tell what Vince is saying. The mat is red/purple which is weird looking.

Angel Marvilla vs. Jose Estrada

There were two matches before this, neither of which meant anything. To give a sign of the times we’re told why Fink isn’t there: he was on loan to Jim Crockett for his TV show. Can you imagine Jerry Lawler popping up on Impact for a loan? The looking back aspect of the commentary is very interesting as we hear about the high level of Puerto Rican wrestlers on New York cards which is true.

It’s so weird seeing no crowd around the arena and grass there instead. This is just weird to see as the wrestling is pretty bad but it’s just an opener here. The crowd sounds dead but the problem is that the crowd is so far away you can’t really hear them. They’re not bored though or at least I wouldn’t believe they are. The commentary is recorded in 2008 as Foley talks about the differences between modern wrestling style and the much slower paced stuff back then.

Estrada sends him over the top to the apron with a dropkick. I’m trying to talk about the match but like I said the wrestling is pretty weak here. Also the commentary here is one of the real highlights here as it’s rare that you can hear commentary recorded after the fact. Jose’s son was Edge’s first opponent and Edge nearly killed him, literally. Foley has never seen the main event tonight which should be interesting. Angelo hits a running flying headbutt for the pin. Vince’s microphone doesn’t work and he takes about a minute to get into the ring which Cole and Foley make a lot of fun of. Yeah they knew Vince wasn’t going to watch this.

Rating: D-. Match sucked but the commentary is the real treat here. I have a feeling that’ll be a running theme tonight too. These two were just out there as an opener and as odd as it is to say this they were there because they were Puerto Ricans. Those are Foley’s words mind you so don’t get on me for saying that. This wasn’t much of a match but it got the show started and something had to do that.

We skip a women’s tag match which had Moolah and three other girls. I’m not skipping them mind you. They’re simply not on the video although they happened.

Dominic DeNucci vs. Baron Mikel Scicluna

Now THIS should be interesting as Dominic trained Foley. I’ve never seen one of his matches so I’m new here too. The Baron kind of sucks but whatever. Notice a lot of the foreign wrestlers here as we’re on our second televised match and there hasn’t been a single white man. It was a different time to put it mildly and I’m kind of surprised by it since you would think it would have gone the other way and gotten more diverse.

The Baron is in the Hall of Fame for NO reason at all. His highlights listed on Wikipedia include one reign as a tag champion. Yep that’s it. Vince’s mic, now working, has a loud echo in the big stadium. Baron is loudly booed and Dominic is cheered which Foley calls a pop. Clean break in the corner to start as these guys look a lot alike other than their tights being different colors.

We talk about the ethnicity stuff again which is rather interesting. We make fun of Baron having a HUGE Malta contingent of fans which allows Foley to cater to history geeks. Baron gets rammed into the post twice which is fine with the referee for no apparent reason. Wait Dominic is in the red? How did I get that confused this whole time? Baron goes for a foreign object in his trunks resulting in a lot of jokes about something else in his trunks.

Foley talks about how Baron influenced his most famous trademark as Baron was known for REALLY overdoing his pulling out the foreign object, which inspired the way Foley would pull out Socko and look like he was trying to scratch his knee and then reach the ceiling. As you can see the wrestling here continues to mean nothing of note. The wrestling back in this era was for the most part just two guys in the ring having matches with no real story or angles going on.

Cole and Foley talk about early 80s television shows and what the actors are doing today. Dominic gets a sunset flip (which I remember reading about Foley FREAKING when he learned) and lays on his back instead of leaning forward for the pin. The time is announced at 6 minutes which the commentators talk about feeling FAR longer and I can’t say I blame them.

Rating: D. Another boring match although better than the first one. Again the commentary is far more interesting and is making this stuff watchable. Things should pick up later with better talent and matches that have feuds behind them coming up. Not much as far as wrestling goes here especially the ending but it wasn’t horrible.

Two more matches skipped, one of which had Greg Gagne so be glad it was skipped. The other had Pat Patterson vs. a Japanese guy that isn’t well known at all. Given the amount of time we’ve got left on this show, something tells me we might see these later on.

WWF Junior Heavyweight Title: Tatsumi Fujinami vs. Chavo Guerrero

Where to begin with this one? This is the equivalent of the Cruiserweight Title and the guy that holds it primarily wrestles in Japan. Fujinami is a GREAT wrestler for those that have never seen him and is one of the best lighter guys ever. Chavo is of course Chavo Guerrero’s father and was known a few years back as Chavo Classic in WWE. This title would move to Japan permanently soon after this and should not be confused with the Light Heavyweight Title which also was in Japan and Mexico for about 15 years and became part of the J-Crown which was defended in WCW in the mid-90s.

Oh yeah we have a match to see here. It’s getting noticeably darker here as you can tell we’ve skipped some stuff. Chavo is challenging here. There are also no entrances as when the announcements start the guys are already in the ring. The upper deck is nearly empty in a shot Vince likely won’t be thrilled with. Again notice the lack of Caucasians. Cole says he doesn’t know if the fans will like this or not because it’s just not what they’re used to which is probably true.

Cole calls Chavo vs. Chavo Jr. one of the more interesting stories in WWE history. Never let it be said that Cole understates anything. We get a Brian Hildebrand reference of all people as he’s more commonly known as referee Mark Curtis. Crowd is more or less silent here. All kinds of lucha and high flying stuff here which pops the crowd loudly. And so much for that as we go back to technical stuff and basic striking.

Cole and Foley discuss the mentality of a midcard worker who knows the fans are there to see the main event and not you. Foley also points out that the fans are likely to file in late because they only care about the main event which would explain a lot of the empty parts of the stadium. Fujinami hits a suicide dive which was INSANE stuff back then. Chavo goes for one as well but catches himself on the rope when he sees Tatsumi is gone.

This commentary is very interesting as you’re getting a lot of history and behind the scenes stuff that you would NEVER hear on Raw or Smackdown. Foley even mentions wrestling NEWSLETTERS and people talking about wrestling on the internet today. Imagine that being talked about seriously on Raw. I know I’m harping on that a lot but it’s by far and away the most interesting part of the show.

Foley talks about Japanese wrestling magazines that would come out within days of major shows with full color photographs. That’s rather impressive. We also hear about the silent crowds in Japan which takes a lot of getting used to. We hit the mat as I remember we have wrestling going on. It’s so weird to see the matches being such stuff in the background for the most part. Airplane Spin by Fujinami sends Chavo down.

Chavo hits a flying shot to the face and Foley is like oh crap we’ve got a good match here so I’ll finish my stories later. We get back to back rollups as Foley says how rare rollups and speed like this was which is true. Fujinami gets an awesome rollup for the pin and the referee doesn’t signal at all so it’s rather confusing. It’s the same thing Brian Pillman beat Jushin Liger with at Superbrawl II if you REALLY want to know what it looked like for some odd reason. Vince says he’s still World Wrestling Federation Champion.

Rating: C+. Not a great match but FAR better than what we’ve seen so far. This would be decent by today’s standards but this was ground breaking back then as no one knew what to think of guys flying around like that and moving so fast. The flying moves were solid too but they were like toppings on a pizza if that makes sense with the mat work being by far and away more important and prominent. Best match of the night by a mile though.

WWF Martial Arts Championship: Antonio Inoki vs. Larry Sharpe

Apparently these are shoot fights and Vince calls it the National Wrestling Federation Heavyweight Championship but that’s the only source I see that says that. Granted having Vince as your source kind of ends anyone else. I’m not going to try to explain the history and lineage of this title as it wound up in Japan and was never mentioned again after about 1985.

Ok we’re not going to have rounds or anything here. Inoki is called the most popular Japanese wrestler in the world ever which is a thread for sure. Foley tells a cool story about being in Italy and people came up to him asking for Inoki tickets instead of wrestling tickets. Sharpe was a Memphis guy I think and is very blonde. Foley and Cole try to explain the Martial Arts Title which maybe this isn’t for. I don’t pretend to get a lot of Japanese stuff but I know enough to get by.

Yeah this is a regular wrestling match but I’m going to say it’s the Martial Arts Title anyway. We hear about the legendary Inoki vs. Ali fight which is more or less the screwed up grandfather of MMA. LARRY SHARPE RAN THE MONSTER FACTORY! I KNEW I had heard that name before! This is just a standard wrestling match as the commentary continues to be the highlight here.

Inoki busts out the kicks which apparently is what he used against Ali. Does Inoki ever age? He looks the same he looked when he went into the Hall of Fame this year. He’s currently the equivalent of a Senator in Japan. Inoki kicks a lot at the legs of Sharpe who makes a short comeback. Inoki kicks the heck out of him again, getting a HUGE reaction surprisingly enough. Sharpe FALLS off the top for a “splash” and the Enziguri…DOESN’T FINISH? Inoki is all OH NO YOU DIDN’T and hits another one, prompting Sharpe to fall backwards like an idiot. Pin is academic.

Rating: C-. Kind of boring here and the end was kind of weird but the match wasn’t horrible. Inoki’s reception surprised me a bit but seeing a legend like Inoki is always fun. In the post match announcement Vince calls it the Martial Arts Championship so maybe he doesn’t even get it. Match was ok but nothing great at all.

Ok now I KNOW we’re coming back to some of the matches later as next up is the tag title match which would mean we’re skipping the IC Title match and Hogan vs. Andre.

Tag Titles: Bob Backlund/Pedro Morales vs. Wild Samoans

Backlund is world champion and this is 2/3 falls. Basically this would be Cena/Orton vs. the tag champions if the tag titles were a big deal. Backlund is way over as is Morales. Vince says in the corner to his left are the champions. The corner is empty but who cares about little things like those? According to Foley it’s FAR more interesting to talk to Backlund than to Afa, which doesn’t surprise me at all.

As far as the relations here, Afa and Sika are brothers I believe. Afa’s kids include Samu and Manu while Sika’s son is Rosey and he has another son in FCW. More or less picture it like this: if they’re Samoan and a wrestler, they’re probably related to each other. Cole talks about Pedro being a former WWE Champion which makes me think of him holding the spinner belt. We get some discussion of the New York curfew which meant that no wrestling could happen after 11. Matches would just stop at that time due to state laws. Imagine a big match just stopping at that point.

This is being written hours after the final NXT show on Syfy and there was a This Week in WWE History segment about a Cactus Jack vs. HHH match. Oddly enough Foley and Cole discuss that very match here in a very funny story about Captain Lou wandering down to ringside while the two guys were brawling in the crowd. Apparently Vince and Cole were in the gorilla position (Cole’s words) and Vince looked at him and said “Did Captain Lou just walk to the ring?” “I believe he did.” “Just checking.” Far funnier than it sounds.

We get the famous Samoan nerve hold on Backlund as this has been far more interesting and far more modern of a style match. We get a good example of what a manager can do as he holds Backlund’s tights to keep him in the corner so Sika can beat on him. Foley gives us a rather interesting history of managers. He really knows what he’s talking about as this is the area and company he grew up with. Backlund gets the Atomic Drop (his finisher. It was a much simpler time obviously) and Morales gets an O’Connor Roll (run the other guy into the ropes and roll him backwards into a rollup. You’ve seen it a thousand times. Bret likes to do it.) for the first fall.

Vince flat out screws up and says we have new champions prompting a very interesting question from Foley: who yells at Vince when he screws up? Vince booked the match, Vince made the announcement and he’s told the referee made it 2/3 falls. HUGE BULL chant starts us off. The Samoans beat up Morales before the second fall. THE FREAKING COPS TAKE ALBANO OUT! In the biggest city in the country in the middle of the summer, there was NOTHING better for them to do???

Foley starts having a sandwich because he saw Don Muraco do it as everything goes insane. Backlund gets a Piledriver on Sika to bring in both other guys. The commentary here is cracking me up. Backlund goes for a belly to back on Sika but Afa hits him in the head, prompting Backlund to…..fall backwards and drive Sika into the mat in a belly to back suplex. Pedro hits a dropkick on Sika so Backlund can pin him. They would have to forfeit the titles because Backlund couldn’t hold the tag and world titles so the Samoans got them back.

Rating: B. Most fun any of the matches so far tonight have been with the crowd being WAY into it and the guys having a great time out there. This worked as all four guys were pretty solid if not very good in the ring. The booking is a bit odd if they were just going to give the titles back to the Samoans. Why not a disqualification or something like that?

I was right. We’re doing some of the other matches.

Pat Patterson vs. Tor Kamata

We get one of the first wide shots and in case you’re curious the middle of the ring would be about where second base is. Kamata jumps him before the bell starts and is a rather fat man. He misses a top rope splash and Patterson takes over. Foley makes fun of Pat’s speech issues which are always funny. We talk about the Boot Camp match (go find that match. It’s against Sgt. Slaughter. Find the Alley Fight too as both are classics) to fill some time. Kamata throws powder at Patterson but it hits the referee for the DQ. WAY too short.

Rating: N/A. Fun while it lasted but nothing of note really. Patterson gets a big pop for the win.

Fabulous Moolah/Beverly Shade vs. Peggy Lee/Kandi Malloy

I only know one of them either. I think the card I have might be out of order. Or maybe the tape is out of order. It’s so weird seeing Vince doing Fink’s job. All one pieces for them here and Moolah with the black hair. Apparently Foley toured with Peggy Lee in some indy company in Africa. Well ok then. We hear about Moolah’s 28 year title run which is hilarious.

Match is a mess of course other than Moolah here. Foley sings a song for Peggy which I think is an Buddy Holly number. Ah yes it is but instead of Sue he says Lee. Foley points out that Moolah trained most of the women which is why so many of them wrestled exactly the same. Nothing of note is going on here of course. Double leg locks by the non-Moolah team. Moolah is just like screw this and beats up Lee and hits a backdrop of all things for the pin.

Rating: F. Cole and Foley rip the match apart afterwards, not even trying to make this sound like anything serious and I can’t say I blame them. Moolah was the only thing worth anything here.

Intercontinental Title: Ken Patera vs. Tony Atlas

This is pre-jail for Patera so he’s blonde and still kind of awesome. Atlas is Mr. USA and a generic strongman. Surprisingly good reaction for Atlas. This sums up Patera very well: before Mark Henry, there was Ken Patera. Just with a lower level of suck that is. Atlas is RIPPED with a body that makes John Cena look like Yokozuna. He throws Patera through the ropes on a kickout. Keep in mind Patera weighs about 270.

Foley goes into this insane story about how he remembers the Atlas/Johnson title win and how a strange set of circumstances that night led to him being world champion. Cole is ON IT tonight, talking about how the guys are doing everything in much more dramatic fashion because there’s no video or anything like that so the view you have from the stands is all you have. That’s something I wouldn’t have thought of but it’s very true.

We then get something I’d bet you will hear on a maximum of three other WWE produced shows ever: Foley says a lot of the matches aren’t that good. How many times can you remember someone that flat out saying a show has been bad for the most part? Vince would call the worst matches ever “extraordinary” or something like that while Foley is sitting here saying this show hasn’t been very good. He’s absolutely right which is very nice to hear for a change, especially from someone that knows what it’s like to be out there.

Full nelson goes on but Atlas gets the ropes. The announcers don’t talk about the matches at all and are just telling stories about how their memories of these guys which is really fun to hear. It’s nice to hear guys that love this stuff just sit around and talk about wrestling rather than put things over. We get an interesting issue as the fans chant USA for Mr. USA Tony Atlas. Keep in mind Patera was a legitimate Olympian.

Cross body gets two for Atlas as Cole runs down the history of Shea Stadium. We hit the floor for some brawling and Patera is in trouble. This is a big brawl for the most part and we get a bell as Patera stays outside too long. Foley calls the finish unsatisfying. Atlas gets on the mic and wants more but the champion runs.

Rating: C-. Not very good but fun. Power vs. power is easy to do and this worked fine. Both guys oversold everything which is the idea here and it worked rather well. Not great or anything but fun which is what the idea is supposed to be here. Atlas was pretty decent actually.

Ivan Putski vs. Johnny Rodz

Please….make it quick. Vince calls the wrestlers the principles. Putski is your Polish ethnic dude. Rodz is a trainer and Foley worked out with him for awhile. Rodz, the brilliant mind that he is, said Foley had no future. His reason? He couldn’t kick properly. Foley asks why Cole doesn’t talk about his legitimate news reporting stuff. Without missing a beat, Cole says “because no one cares?” He’s nothing if not self-aware.

We hear some about it and Cole being in Berlin for the fall of the wall and Foley says that it has nothing on Putski using a bearhug! Mick says Cole should talk about his credentials more and work in Rwandan genocide references in on Raw. How do you respond to that? Cole doesn’t, going back to making fun of the match. Putski just goes OFF and hits the Polish Hammer (running double axe to the chest. The guys sell it like JR calls a Stunner) for the pin.

Rating: D-. As I’ve said all night, the match was crap but the commentary was great. Foley and Cole have some awesome chemistry and we’re hearing a lot more from Cole than you usually would. He’s a likeable guy here and sounds like someone that it would be really fun to talk to about a bunch of different things.

The Hangman vs. Rene Goulet

Hangman is a generic guy and Goulet is more or less a career jobber. The commentary is great here as Goulet is famous for losing all the time and Hangman is someone even Foley doesn’t know. Goulet is wrestling with a torn bicep here because he wasn’t given time off for surgery. We hear about a charity softball game during the ECW Invasion. What the heck?

Cole says he’s sang Cena’s theme song with Cena in karaoke and sang Another One Bites the Dust with Patterson. WOW. Foley freaks on Cole about how he’s ignoring HANGMAN VS. GOULET! We talk about Hogan vs. Andre and the cage match which is just funny. Cole asks Foley about the Pope leading a prayer here in the 70s. Foley: *dead silence* that’s the stupidest question I’ve ever heard! I had to stop the tape from laughing so hard at that.

We’re told this is a popcorn match as this is some of the best commentary as I can ever remember. Goulet is pretty boring and Hangman isn’t any better. DEAD crowd. Cole says the Hangman is the forerunner of a lot of failed gimmicks in the future. See what I’m talking about? We talk about serial killers and rats to fill some time as a hot shot ends it.

Rating: F. Match was boring but I didn’t see much of it due to laughing so much. I’d love to hear some commentary on other matches like this later on. We still don’t know who Hangman is and we go to highlights of the match. Uh…why?

Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

Yeah this works. Hogan has the traditional colors on but is a heel here. Cole keeps talking about Mania 3 and their FIRST MATCH EVER! This show and match was a big blow to Hogan’s ego that he lies about to this day. He claims that he and Andre drew this house but for the whole summer this and Larry/Bruno were the top feuds. One time was Hogan/Andre the top listed match and it got about 40% of a house full. 3 months later they came back and did the traditional listings resulting in a full house. Real World: 1, Hogan: 0.

It’s so weird seeing the yellow and red as heel colors. Foley fought Andre in Japan. I never knew that. Those ropes are LOOSE. Black elbow pads for Hogan which is a weird look. Hogan with a headlock to start as it’s a long feeling out process. Far different match than you would get at Mania. Foley talks about being at a Harley Race BBQ where Race has a picture of him slamming Andre. Take that Hulk!

We get some cool Andre stories which are just amazing every time. Hogan has a hairy back. Now that’s a weird one to write out. Bearhug by Hogan and this is a very slow match. Andre blocks a slam with a hammerlock. Down goes the referee as Hogan gets slammed. Hogan slams Andre and it’s just a normal move other than Cole and Foley babbling about it. Funny though. Andre gets a splash and a tainted count to win it from another referee. He got out but the referee counted it anyway.

Rating: D. Boring match here but these two are always fun together. This is the unspoken match as everything that Vince didn’t want you to know about at Mania time happened here. This was quick and more or less harmless though. I’m very surprised that this went so fast though, not even getting 8 minutes. Andre got busted open after the match.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Bruno Sammartino

Wrestling 101 here: Bruno was the mentor, Larry decided he had surpassed the teacher, teacher kept being the star, student attacks the teacher, they go to a baseball stadium and have a wrestling match in front of 36,000 people in a box with no lid on it. Tale as old as time. Old school cage here, as in the kind they have now. NUCLEAR heat on Larry. Bruno gets the only entrance of the night.

We even get clips of Zbyszko’s heel turn which is WAY rare. Bruno jumps him to start and Larry hits the cage 3 times in about 5 seconds. You can only go through the door here and not over the top for no apparent reason. Apparently Larry talks about this match to the point of annoyance. Low blow gives Larry a chance to breathe as this has been very intense so far.

Foley makes another interesting point: Bruno headlined all three Shea shows and only once was world champion at the time. That’s saying a lot. This is the first match with an angle and the crowd clearly knows it. We get into a discussion about whether Bruno would be successful today and the commentators say yes because he was the people’s man. You know, like that blue collar guy that represented the hard working everyman who didn’t like his boss. Someone you could have a beer with. Or maybe a case of them if you get what I’m talking about. Yeah I think Bruno would have worked today.

Almost all Bruno so far. Now we talk about Stan Hansen inspiring Foley to sleep with his wife. Ok then. We hear about Larry and Foley driving together and Cole says how would they get a word in edgewise? Foley says he only talks over Cole because he’s smarter than Michael is. Nice line! Bruno’s arm is bleeding so Larry punches away at it. After nearly ten minutes Larry makes the first attempt at the door, naturally not getting there.

We get into a semi-argument over whether or not Foley ever worked out. Foley seems genuinely ticked off about that and I can’t say I blame him. Bruno wakes up and beats the tar out of Larry, kicking him in the head one more time and walking out to win it definitively. Bruno beats on him some more after the match ends

Rating: C+. Solid match for what it was supposed to be which was a big time brawl. The fans loved it and Bruno decisively won. What more can you ask from them? This was a blowoff to a feud and that’s what they did. There’s nowhere for this feud to go from here and it ended. That’s what gimmick matches are for. LEARN THIS RUSSO!

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling sucked but the commentary and atmosphere MORE than make up for it. This is probably the most interesting commentary I’ve ever heard as it’s really like hearing a director’s commentary on a DVD. It wasn’t about what was happening in the ring but rather about what was happening at this time and some very cool insight that you never get in regular shows. If you want to see this show good freaking luck finding it, but I’d recommend listening to it rather than watching it, which is a weird thing to say but very true. Recommended though and 85%+ of that is for the commentary.

Summerslam 2007
Date: August 26, 2007
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 17,441
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, JBL, Joey Styles

Well, it’s somewhat different this year but not by a lot. For one thing, Cena is the undisputed top guy in the company now, even surpassing HHH and Batista. HHH has been out of action since the Fall after tearing his quad again, and tonight is his epic return facing Booker T for no apparent reason other than he’s a big name for HHH to beat on. Your main event is Cena vs. Orton for the title, so you can really see how much difference two years makes.

I mean seriously, Cena was champion two years ago, so it’s not like they’re doing the same thing this year or anything. This was at the beginning of Orton’s rise to being one of the top dogs in the company as he is at the moment. He’d go on to win the title in about two months.On the Smackdown side, we have Batista vs. Khali. I don’t even need to make fun of that yet. Finally, the ECW Title has become much closer to what it is today, as we have Morrison vs. Punk for the belt. Also, this is about two months after the Benoit tragedy, and I’m going to leave it at that.

Summerslam 2006
Date: August 20, 2006
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 16,168
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Joey Styles, JBL

So a few things have happened since last year, but a lot of the show is the same. DX is back, feuding with the McMahons, Edge has risen to prominence and is the WWE Champion, and Booker is now a British guy. Your main events are Booker vs. Batista and Cena vs. Edge, along with the DX vs. McMahon tag match. The other major difference is the return of ECW, which as usual has one match. This is far different than the ECW you see today, as the title match is Big Show vs. Sabu.

Hogan is here again, this time against Orton, while Flair and Foley are having an I Quit match, which would be Foley’s last big angle as he would leave for awhile very shortly after this, returning in about 9 months for a few appearances here and there before becoming commentator for about a month before leaving for TNA. That’s enough recap from me, so let’s do this. Oh one last thing. Angle would be released 5 days after this show and would debut for TNA about 5 weeks after this.

The opening video is generic to say the least. It’s just promos and clips from the three major feuds. I’m really disappointed in this.

The 6 announcers welcome us to the show which takes a few minutes. Lawler says that he’s the WWE’s original party animal which just amuses me.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

Remember how I said I was disappointed? That’s nothing compared to this. This contest is being held because these two have been fighting over who was closer to Eddie. This is nothing short of disgusting to me. Eddie passed away less than a year ago, and this isn’t even the first angle that was because of him. I get that he was a huge star, but you don’t need to use him to further storylines.

Chavo says that Rey is living off of Eddie’s legacy, which in reality he likely was as he got the world title at Mania, but that’s a different argument for a different time. They show video packages of both men’s relationships with Eddie as I feel like I’m in 5th grade. Seriously, this is like two 8 year old girls arguing over who someone’s real best friend is. However, the other friend just happens to be dead. See? No matter how you say that it’s not respectful or paying tribute. IT’S CREEPY.

Also, the whole Dominick storyline is completely omitted. In other words, thanks to the magic of WWE, the whole angle about Eddie trying to destroy Rey’s family and steal his son has been completely forgiven. And people wonder why WWE is criticized so much. Apparently Chavo is retired or something but this is a one night only event. If only that were true. As much as I can’t stand JBL in the ring, he’s pretty good on commentary.

It’s nice to have him out there as he was a wrestler far more recently than Tazz was. Chavo cost Rey the title. Thanks for mentioning that 3 minutes into the match. JBL makes an Arturo Gatti reference which is just weird to hear at this point. Chavo is complaining that Rey is trying to make a name off of Eddie. Yeah, I don’t need to criticize that. JBL calls Chavo’s comeback the biggest one since the resurrection. Again, don’t even need to make fun of that.

JBL goes on to say that these are two of Smackdown’s best. If this is one night only, wouldn’t that mean he’s not on Smackdown at the moment? Rey is having mask issues so we take a short break. Ok I like JBL. He’s actually really good at this. They both stand on the top rope and…just kind of jump off. Yeah that spot looked really stupid. Bradshaw keeps calling him Shavo which is getting annoying.

Yeah JBL is already getting annoying. If he says “He’s a Guerrero!” one more time I’m going to scream. Eddie was a groomsman at JBL’s wedding? How much do they want to break down the walls between reality and kayfabe? 619 but Chavo avoids the senton and they go to the floor. Vickie, now with about another 50 pounds on her and in full annoying mode heads to the ring and goes after Chavo for no apparent reason, slapping him.

The three amigos get Chavo booed out of the building. Cole calls a hurricanrana a headscisscors. Since Chavo got booed out of the building for the triple suplexes, Rey does them as well as everyone is being booed now. Rey goes up for a frog splash and Vickie tries to stop him, resulting him in him getting crotched. Chavo hits a suplex which is called a brainbuster, leading to the frog splash as Vickie screams to win it. Post match, they still won’t shut up about how it’s about family etc.

Rating: C+. The match was fine, but the rating is hurt a lot as this storyline is just flat out horrid. It’s completely disrespectful, and while it got both of the Guerreros jobs, it just wasn’t needed. There were about a dozen other ways to do this that wouldn’t be disrespectful at all, nor would they have ticked off the crowd. I hated this, but the wrestling was ok I guess. It would have been better if I had watched it muted.

Booker and Sharmell are in the back with Booker still being British, which is oddly a far better gimmick for him. He was completely generic as Booker T, but this is quite memorable. Edge and Lita come in and they argue about who the most powerful couple in wrestling is. That would be Vince and Linda.

This would lead to the triple threat challenge at Cyber Sunday which was all three championships on the line at the same time and was ended by Kevin freaking Federline. They make a bet about their title matches that didn’t mean anything at all in the end.

Ad for the best managers DVD. That’s a lost art in wrestling anymore.

It’s time for the ECW title match. The story is pretty simple: Big Show is ECW Champion and Sabu wants to be. Sabu won a ladder match against Van Dam on ECW to get this match, albeit with help from Show. Styles screams that this was VINTAGE ECW. Is this a running joke that we just never caught on to?

ECW Title: Sabu vs. Big Show

This is extreme rules, and for the ECW WORLD Title. Yes it was called a world title back then. For those of you that haven’t seen Sabu before, consider yourself lucky. He’s the epitome of everything that’s wrong with hardcore wrestling as his skills were limited at best and dangerous at worst. However, he was an extreme icon, so it’s all good. The ECW belt looks like a toy on Show. Within 5 seconds of the bell, Sabu has hit Show 4 times with a chair. That’s a good way of foreshadowing the match.

Show steps on it and crushes the chair which looks cool. This is more or less just Sabu using weapons and Show beating him up. It’s a simple formula but it’s working to an extent. The chair shots sounds SICK. If you think Hardy botches moves, he’s Bret Hart compared to Sabu. It’s table time, as Sabu is the guy that made them famous, far more so than the Dudleys who are more known for them.

Sabu gets him through the table which the more I think about it the more I think that it is nowhere near as great of a spot as it’s built up to be. A Vader Bomb pretty much kills the Arabian. Big Show brings in a table and stairs which is a cheap indy show name if I’ve ever heard one. Show sets up a tiny bridge with a table over two sets of stairs.

Sabu climbs on it and of course it falls over, so he sets it again as Show just looks at him. Naturally, he’s booed for it. Chokeslam through the table ends this, even though Sabu is on the table and therefore his shoulders are technically up, but why am I trying to use logic on a match like this?

Rating: C. It was a hardcore match with good chair shots. What are you really expecting here? It was fine for what it was, but it’s nothing special. Sabu as usual was just flat out horrid and Show didn’t have to do much. It was ok, as long as you don’t take it too seriously.

We see Layla winning the Diva Search. Yeah I don’t care either. In the divas locker room, Layla shows off her horrible acting skills while Trish yells at her for saying she doesn’t belong here. Truer words have never been spoken. Three years have passed and Layla still can’t do crap. Of course, in the end Trish is fine with it and everything is cool. They take her into the shower and spray her down with water. Yeah, it’s stupider than it sounds.

A band called the Teddybears did the theme song. Is there a point to these things that I’m missing?

We get a recap of Hogan vs. Orton, which is billed perfectly as legend vs. legend killer. These Hogan highlight packages are always cool. More or less all this happened for was to get Hogan’s reality show pushed and to promote Brooke. Orton hit on her and Hogan stopped him, resulting in Hogan getting RKOed on a car.

We also get highlights of all the legends that Orton hit with the RKO, which is a decent list I guess. We even got a parody complete with impersonators. More or less, this is Orton replacing Shawn, but lower on the card, as it should be.

Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Orton

Wow Hogan goes on third? That’s very surprising. Unless I’m overlooking something, this is Hogan’s last match to date in WWE. He appeared once other than this at the 15th anniversary where he fought off Khali, but other than that he’s been gone. You know it’s a good thing Vince is rich. He has to pay a lot of money for roofs. Hogan of course gets the legendary pop that he deserves. Ross of course mentions that Hogan has a bad knee. Hulk Hogan doesn’t get hurt you idiot.

Hogan definitely is looking smaller here, but he’s still muscular. The reaction for Hogan really is awesome. I love the old school merchandise like the towel and shirts. The entrance goes on forever just like the old school ones did. This is always fun and this is no exception. This is a much better reaction than he got last year and I think it’s because they got the formula right: Hogan vs. evil. That was the problem with Shawn.

He was still a face so why would we want to see Hogan beat him up? The fans didn’t buy it so while it worked, it wasn’t great. It’s weird seeing someone being taller than Orton. In a head scratcher, Hogan gets put in a headlock and goes down to one knee in just a few seconds. Everyone goes a bit blind as the headband goes off. They use an overhand wristlock and it looks decent. I’m quite surprised. Other than shoving Orton at the beginning, it’s been all Orton.

Dang it why is it that every time I say that the comeback begins? Hogan gets on the second rope and punches him, which for some reason surprises JR. It’s not like this is a new thing for him. He hits a clothesline with authority, which is another term that’s never made sense. How can a clothesline have authority? Can it give you an infraction while you try to start a resistance? The bias for Hogan and his rule breaking will never cease to amuse me.

In a weird time, they mention that the fans from the old AWA days remember the times when he refused to obey the rules. Why not just go with the time he was a heel in the far more famous WCW? Maybe there’s something to that theory of WWE never mentioning WCW because they know it’s better. Orton finally goes for the knee which is what makes sense all along, as given away by the massive knee braces on both legs.

They finally mention that Hogan was the main event of Summerslam 90, which I’ve long since theorized. Apparently Orton is craving to be loved. Thank you Sigmund Ross. Orton slides under the big boot just like Shawn did last year and hits the picture perfect dropkick. Screw Bob Holly. Orton’s dropkick is perfect. Now here we have something that makes me change my mind about a lot of the criticisms that Hogan gets.

Randy hits the RKO and covers, and Hogan doesn’t kick out. He puts his foot on the rope. That’s very subtle but when you think about it, that’s a huge show of respect to Orton. Of all of the big finishers that Hogan has been hit with over the years, I’ve never seen him not kick out of it with that big power move. He didn’t power out of the RKO. He had to use the weaker kickout. That’s a huge show of support for the young kid and it makes him look dominant.

The thing is they never mentioned it as a big deal, despite it being one of the biggest rubs that Hogan has ever given anyone. Anyway, Orton celebrates because he thinks that he’s beaten the legend himself and maybe he has a right to, but Hogan’s foot didn’t go unnoticed by the referee despite the announcers being completely oblivious to it.

Hogan staggers to his feet and limps around in a circle shaking his head which is a truly sad sight to see in my eyes as he just doesn’t have the physical strength anymore to do it the way he used to. We all know how this is going to go. Hogan circles Orton, shakes a finger in his face, kicks him in the head and after about 15 seconds, drops the leg for the pin.

I love how nonchalant Hogan is after the legdrop, as if to say yeah I know he’s not getting up for a month. Lawler marks out like an 8 year old for this and I love that. If this were anyone else I’d hate it but in this case it’s fine as this is Hulk Hogan. He’s the greatest ever and he should be treated as such. As Hogan celebrates we see a guy with a tattoo of Hogan all over his entire back. That’s either creepy or awesome.

Rating: B. This is exactly what a modern Hogan match is supposed to be. You have a young guy that is kind of proven but not quite and he just can’t beat Hogan despite getting close. Now some of you again might say that Hogan didn’t give Randy the rub here, but on a closer look he did.

That lack of a kickout of the RKO was in reality was huge. It made Orton look like a monster because it was enough to stop the super kickout from Hogan, which no other move has ever done in history. That’s about as big of a rub as you could give.

We see a big party that was held yesterday announcing the debut of 24/7. Kennedy is there, which amuses me.

Foley is in the back and Melina comes up and hugs him. Now this was a very interesting storyline that I wish had been given more time to develop. Flair had run down Foley in his book and Foley did the same. There was a real life feud between these two but they’ve since patched things up. Melina was a real life friend of Foley who was stuck in the middle of this for some reason. They had agreed to an I Quit match here after having a pretty bad one at Vengeance.

Ric Flair vs. Mick Foley

Sweet goodness Lillian is amazing looking. Foley brings in some weapons with him. It’s weird seeing Foley more or less as the heel and Flair as the face. There is legit animosity between these two which always helps things get better. Foley jumps him and it’s on. Running knee to the face in the first ten seconds from Foley. And then he does it again with the garbage can.

Mandible Claw goes on and Flair is down. This is more or less a squash almost but Foley grabs the mic and says make it easy on yourself and say it’s over. Naturally it’s not over and Foley gets barbed wire. On his alternate commentary from his DVD, Foley says he felt he didn’t have aggression here and he felt bad about it. Flair wraps barbed wire around his hand and CHOPS FOLEY. This left a HUGE scar on his chest that he shows on the DVD and it’s awful looking.

Barbed wire board is rammed into the face of Flair and he slides under the ring to blade I think. Oh yeah he’s busted open. The fans want tables. Something I’d like to do here is time how long between that chant starting and the amount of time before they’re introduced. Teasing them like that is a great idea as we have to wait for awhile instead of instant gratification.

Barbed wire board dropped on Flair results in him shouting obscenities to Foley. Foley busts out the tacks as there hasn’t been much of anything from Flair here. Flair is slammed onto the tacks for the second time in about two weeks after Show did it to him on ECW recently. Dang there are a ton of tacks in Flair’s arms.

Time for the barbed wire bat here. Flair is bleeding like crazy at this point. And now Flair sends him into the post and beats his arm with the bat. Foley is apparently wearing a Japanese Cactus Jack t-shirt. BIG bump as Foley is on the apron and Flair gets a running start with the bat and sends Foley to the floor and he bangs his head on the concrete. Cue Melina down to the ring to check on Foley who is out and the referee stops it.

Ok never mind as Flair decides that’s not enough so we’re going to keep going. Flair says he didn’t say I Quit so we keep going. He beats on Foley even more until Melina throws the towel in for him and says he quits. Foley still didn’t say I Quit so I don’t get why Flair would accept that either. Oh ok he didn’t. Foley quits seconds later I think after Flair threatens to hit Melina.

Rating: B-. On Foley’s DVD he does commentary for this match and he says that it wasn’t a very good match despite having a massive scar on his chest from the barb wire spot. He said that he never really took this as far as he could have to make it a truly bloody classic, but he thought it was ok. I would have to disagree with him to an extent though as it was at least decent.

Having Melina play into the equation at the end was a great move, despite her turning on Foley and having him fired less than a week later. I also really like the false ending as it makes you wonder how far they’re going to take this one.

Vince and Shane are in the back with Estrada. They more or less say that Umaga will be backing them up tonight. JBL gets in one of the best secretive lines you’ll ever hear as he calls him Armando Ali Baba Estrada. Back in OVW, Estrada played an Iranian character named Osama. That’s a very nice little inside joke.

Smackdown World Title: Booker T vs. Batista

There’s no buildup here other than Booker is champion and Batista never actually lost the title but had to drop it due to injury. Booker’s wife just does nothing but shout “All hail King Booker!” over and over. JBL’s sucking up is quite humorous. She’s at 11 times already. After 15 of them, we finally get Booker’s entrance. Isn’t that in essence a jobber entrance? He’s already in the ring when his announcement is made. Yep, Booker gets no respect.

Batista gets a solid pop but nothing mind blowing. This was one of three consecutive Smackdown PPV main events involving these two, so you really don’t have to think that hard about why there were jokes about how repetitive these shows were. If I remember right these two had a legit fight backstage at some point and Booker beat up Batista with relative ease.

They botch a spinkick spot but I’m not sure who is to blame. Booker throws the kick but Batista wasn’t there so they had to have him keep spinning. It didn’t look that good. We get a loud and long boring chant as the first 2-3 minutes of this is primarily Booker having Batista in a chinlock. Batista is quite rusty here which is certainly playing a role here. Booker hits him with the scepter on the floor, which means Batista is moving even slower than he was before and that’s saying a lot.

Back in to an arm hold, which is the same thing as a chinlock in essence. The crowd chants she’s got herpes at Sharmell. This is just amusing. Booker gets crotched by missing a kick, so Batista, ever the strategist and in ring general, picks him up and drops him the same way over another rope. What’s the point of that? Couldn’t he do something more original than that?

Booker hits a missile dropkick which used to be his finishing move in WCW, yet here is just a run of the mill move and the same thing happens with the Book End. JBL makes a bowling analogy which makes me shake my head. Batista hits a jackhammer which Booker pops up from. I love how neither of these guys have an original move to save their life.

Batista hits a bad full nelson slam to set up the power bomb. Sharmell runs in and slaps Batista for the DQ. Yes that’s actually the finish they went with. Post match Batista beats up Booker and BADLY botches the Batista Bomb. He barely got him up and it looked like he was trying to use it on Khali.

Rating: D. For the second year in a row Batista has the worst match of the night. It was barely over 10 minutes long, it was about 4 and a half minutes of rest holds, and the finish was completely stupid. Batista botches so much out there that it was just horrid. If you want to know where the stigma of Batista sucks comes from, I present to you Exhibit A. This was just flat out awful all around and felt like it belonged on Smackdown.

Jeff Hardy is coming to Raw.

DX is talking to someone who we can’t see and they tell him that Vince said Umaga is the biggest monster in the company.

Recap of DX vs. the McMahons and the feud that Satan is afraid of. This feud went on ALL summer and produced only a handful of decently funny moments. It was way too long and was stupid, primarily as it was DX vs. the Spirit Squad, who were tag champions at the time.

Despite beating them about 5 times, DX never won the tag titles. Why that’s the case is beyond me. It might be because they couldn’t have two major stars as champions. That couldn’t happen. We need our male cheerleaders blast it!

Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. DX

In case you’ve forgotten it, Shawn made his Summerslam debut in a 6 man tag in 1989. Just thought I’d remind you because JR has only said it at the last three Summerslams. We get the traditionally way too long DX intro. Good night Lillian looks great. HHH says that we need to get ready to suck it. Shawn says if you’re not down with that, they’re going to tell you to suck it. Well I’m glad we’ve got so many choices to pick from.

To say JR doesn’t like Vince is an understatement. Apparently one day Vince will run a hostile takeover of the afterlife. Spirit Squad runs out and uses their trampoline to come in. Two backdrops, a toss over the ropes, Sweet Chin Music and a Pedigree later they’re gone and HHH has a new sweatband. Finlay, Regal and Kennedy run out to beat on DX. The McMahons haven’t even left the stage yet in case you were wondering.

While the club from Finlay would usually drop Khali, since it’s used on DX, it has little effect at all. Big Show is here now and as they try to fight him, we finally have some logic as the other EIGHT GUYS that DX beat up finally wake up and help out, so it’s 9 on 2 here with the McMahons still to come. See, this is the first time ever that I can recall where Vince finally had a brain and realized he owned an army of guys to beat up whomever he was feuding with at the time.

He’d always send one at a time. You own the company Vince. Send out 10 guys at once or something to beat the other dude up. See how effective it can be? I really feel sorry for Styles and Tazz as they’ve been sitting there all night doing nothing after calling a single match. That’s just stupid. Why not have them sit up near the entrance so they can at least go sit in the back after their match? HHH goes through the ECW table as Vince and Shane finally are in the ring.

JR is really getting annoying with this running Vince down. We finally have a bell. It’s Vince against Shawn to start. Ross calls the heels the money maniacs. That’s like the main event of Summerslam 88 from my nightmares. HHH is still on the floor from the chokeslam through the table. HHH tries to get up but Shane hits a baseball slide to knock him onto JR and King. Ross flips HHH over as he’s ticked off about being covered by a big sweaty man.

The way it looked was just quite funny. Demolition Decapitator or whatever that move was called lands on Shawn. The McMahons hit a Hart Attack which is just appropriate being used on HBK. This is followed up by a Doomsday Device. This is actually kind of cool. Of course HBK kicks out though and this isn’t even surprising to the announcers. You have to love the power of kayfabe don’t you? Shawn finally gets a tag and HHH looks perfectly fresh.

Even Hulk Hogan thinks a comeback like this is stupid. JR says it’s adrenaline. I say it’s nonsense. As if 9 run ins weren’t enough, we make it a perfect ten as Umaga comes out. Oh wait it’s 11 since Estrada is with him. We now have 15 people in this match, not counting the referee and 4 announcers, all of which have been involved in this match. Counting Lillian, that’s 21 people that have been at ringside that we know the names of and have been involved in this match somehow.

Anyone else think that’s a lot? It turns out that the person DX was talking to was Kane who chases Umaga off to start their feud which, shockingly enough, Kane jobbed in. Shane sets up for Coast to Coast but Shawn…knees him in the leg I guess, to stop it. Of course it’s called Sweet Chin Music. It’s probably good that he did that as Shane would have been about a foot short. Vince takes both finishers to end this mess.

The recaps and celebration goes on for about two and a half minutes just to make sure we know that this was really a huge win for our triumphant heroes. Somewhere around JR’s 8th sports analogy for how amazing DX’s win is, the faces are finally about to leave the arena. Oh wait, we have MORE replays for you. To begin with, they set for their double pose but I think Shawn’s elbow is hurt as he can’t do the double bicep. He was holding it earlier after going ove the top rope with Shane.

They do a very good job of changing the camera angle for the Shane kick as it’s from behind Shawn now and therefore looks like he actually got the kick. That’s very smart and well done so points for that. Some big fat guy comes out about a foot and Shawn sort of acknowledges him, which I’d assume is someone saying to wrap this up as it’s over. I don’t think he was supposed to be on camera.

Rating: C-. This was a very hard one to grade as it’s just a mess. With more than ten people running in that aren’t involved in the match at all, it’s a hard one to grade. However, I’ll give them credit for FINALLY getting the idea behind Vince as the evil owner right. However, at the end of the day, there was too much going on here for it to be taken seriously. The flaw with this feud is simple: DX are former world champions, and Vince and Shane are businessmen.

There’s no reason to believe that the McMahons would have a chance at all here. Granted they got the theory correct by adding in a lot of people that know what they’re doing to make the feud more interesting. It was better than I’m making it sound, but it wasn’t great.

Kane actually helped out a lot here as he took away some of the ridiculous odds for DX. JR needs to shut up though, as for about 20 minutes he did nothing but talk about how great DX was and how evil the McMahons were. It’s one thing to mention it a few times, but he must have cracked the 20s in times he complained about it. It was completely annoying and WAY overdone.

Wrestlemania 23 is in Detroit.

Time for the final recap of the night as we look at Cena vs. Edge. They tried as hard as they could to make this an epic feud and they got as close as possible without actually getting there. Edge won MITB in 2005 and shocked the world by stealing the title in January after an Elimination Chamber win by Cena. I remember watching that match and texting a former friend of mine that was a diehard Cena mark. I told her the next day that Cena lost the title to Edge and she almost fell over.

The reaction was great. Cena got the title back soon enough but Edge won it from RVD on Raw in July. Edge beat up Cena’s father 6 days prior to this, and Cena is the hometown boy here. We cut to the theme song of the show to get more clips from this feud, including the live sex celebration that as I’ve said a dozen times, was nothing special. It truly wasn’t. It was them moving around under a blanket and nothing more. Big freaking deal.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. John Cena

Apparently if Edge gets disqualified he loses the title. Cena gets a VERY mixed reaction. The main selling point here is Cena’s father, which makes a lot of sense actually. Lita needs to freaking cut her bangs. You have a hot face. Show it off. She’s Women’s Champion here which was her final reign I believe. Correction it’s her next to last reign as she would lose to Trish next month in Toronto so Trish could retire as champion.

Lita was gone in November, leaving the whole division completely destroyed, the issues of which are still being felt to this day. This is more or less standard stuff with Edge getting close to a bunch of count out wins. On one of these, Edge knocks Cena to the floor and Cena’s eyes are just hilarious. They’re bugged out all over the place as he looks like he just remembered that Christmas is tomorrow or some other cliché from a bad movie.

For some reason I have My Immortal by Evanescence stuck in my head. As you can tell, this match isn’t holding my attention that well. Fans are solidly behind Edge it would seem. You have to love that in Cena’s hometown he’s still not popular. This was the era that Cena was beginning to be truly despised by a lot of fans in, as he was just constantly shoved down our throats, and it would only get worse as the year long title reign was coming.

However, I think those criticisms are unfair for one simple reason: who else was the title going to go on? HHH would be injured in just a few months, HBK lost to Cena at Mania before feuding with Orton and would leave for knee surgery (which had to be legit. It’s an HBK knee injury after all), and Cena was feuding with Edge right here. In short, who was there left to put the belt on, Umaga? See what I mean? There were no other choices other than for Cena to hold the title.

We get a Cena chant that is a lot stronger than I think it actually was if that makes sense. Cena starts his huge comeback of all his standard stuff, complete with an STFU. Lita sets up with the belt to hit Cena but Edge says no as it would cost him the title. She slips him some brass knucks after he makes the ropes though. FU is countered and Edge nails him in the back of the head with the brass which sounds awesome to end it and the show.

Rating: C+. This was fine, but just fine. It’s nothing epic at all despite what the announcers would like you to believe. There really wasn’t a solid main event this year and it showed bad. This would probably be the best choice for it though, as there’s not a lot that would have topped this.

Either way, the match was just ok, but it felt like the title should have changed here. It would change the next month in Toronto as Cena was booed out of the building, so why wait? Why not have Cena get the big win here in his own hometown? Either way, this was ok but nothing great.

Overall Rating: C+. This show is the epitome of slightly above average. Everything on it is just ok. There isn’t a big moment or a big match that makes it jump off the page at you, as Flair and Foley or Cena/Edge is probably the match of the night by pure default. It’s an ok show and watchable, but it’s nothing great at all.

DX vs. McMahons was ok, but just ok. That’s the only thing I can think of to describe any of the matches on here: ok, but just ok. It’s nothing special at all and because of that, it’s right in the middle of recommended and not recommended. Some might like it but others will be bored out of their minds.