I was listening to ESPN Radio about ten days ago before the World Series began. The analyst said that he hoped we were realizing what we were seeing with Albert Pujols (baseball player for any confused readers). He’s the best player in the game today and is putting up numbers that other players probably dream of. This got me to thinking about wrestling (as almost anything does) and I started thinking about John Cena.

I’m pretty much in the minority on John Cena, in that I’m pretty neutral on him. I have never once been what you would call a Cena hater. I’ve never reached the point where I’m sick of him and want him gone. I’ve also never been a huge fan of his. However, and this is partially the whole point of this entire writing: he is without a doubt one of the greatest stars that we’ll ever see and one of the greatest wrestlers ever.

Now let’s take a look at this from a few angles. First and foremost, John Cena has more detractors and more supporters than anyone else in wrestling right now. That is indisputable. When you watch a show, be it on PPV, TV, DVD or in the arena, one thing is always certain: people react to John Cena. You often read about the size of the pops that someone gets. When is the last time you remember people being silent for anything related to John Cena? The answer to that would be never.

The whole idea of wrestling is to get the fans to care about you. You have to establish a character that people are going to want to watch and when you put that character up against another one and develop a conflict between them, you might be able to get the fans to pay to see the resolution of that conflict, which is the whole point of wrestling. That being said, John Cena is one of the few guys that people are always interested in. Think about this for a second.

John Cena is the face of the company. He’s the guy that is put out as a spokesman, he’s the guy you see on the posters, he’s the guy that you see in K-Mart on WWE merchandise, he’s the guy that goes on talk shows, he’s the one (current) wrestler everyone knows and he’s the guy that Wrestlemania is built around every year. That puts him in rare company: Hogan, Austin, HHH, Cena. In WWE history (as in post-Hogan’s first title win), there aren’t any other people that are the undisputed top guy in the company.

After that, let’s look at what everyone thinks is the most important thing in wrestling: the matches. Let’s get the biggest piece of evidence out of the way: when was the last time you saw a bad John Cena match? I don’t mean a match you weren’t into. I don’t mean a match that you didn’t care about. I mean a match that was flat out bad. Cena is one of very, very few men that have had a match rated 5 stars by Dave Meltzer. Also on that list: Shawn Michaels, Razor Ramon, Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Steve Austin, Undertaker, CM Punk. Cena was in the first match to get such a rating in almost 14 years. Think back over 14 years. It’s the first match in that long to get a perfect score in this company (I’ll save a Meltzer rant for later. I’m by no means a follower of his but his opinion is highly valued online).

The main argument against Cena matches is that he uses five moves and that’s it. Let’s think for a minute and realize why this is stupid. We’ll start with AA, STF, Shuffle, Top Rope Fameasser, Protobomb, Shoulder Block. There are your six moves right there. That being said, if you believe the amount of moves that someone uses determines whether or not you’re a talented wrestler, you have no idea what you’re talking about. If it was about the amount of moves a wrestler knew, Dean Malenko vs. William Regal would have headlined about 8 Wrestlemanias in a row.

Speaking of multiple Wrestlemanias, let’s look at Cena’s career span. Let’s say he became an A-list guy the night he first won the title, which was at Wrestlemania 21. For the sake of math, let’s say we take this up to Wrestlemania 27 where he was in the main event. That’s six years with him on top and he’s going to be there longer than that. By comparison, let’s say Austin was on top from Mania 14 through the day he walked out on the company in 2004. That would be 4 years on top, including his year out for neck surgery. Shawn was on top for about 2 years. Rock got let’s say 4 (99-02, which is being VERY generous). Other than Hogan and Sammartino, a guy being on top for that long simply does not happen.

Cena has been in a main event/featured match at 7 Wrestlemanias (not including the upcoming one). By comparison, Mr. Wrestlemania Shawn Michaels was in (arguably) 6 main event/world title matches at Wrestlemania. Austin had 4 or so. Rock had even less than that. The only person in the same league as Cena is Hogan who had 8 (I don’t count WM 9 as one of these as it was a surprise match and lasted all of 40 seconds but again that’s arguable). Even if you count that match, that record will come down in a few years.

Getting to records, we reach the world title record that Cena is going to break one day. As everyone knows, the record is currently held by Ric Flair with 16. You have Hogan with 12, Edge with like 13, HHH with about 13 and Angle with ten I think (don’t bother telling me what the actual numbers are as that’s not the point). Yes, having two titles makes this a lot easier to reach. Yes, Flair usually held the title longer (except for the two NWA Title reigns that didn’t last two months, the five WCW Title reigns that didn’t last three months each (with two reigns combining to last 7 days) and the 2 WWF Title reigns that didn’t last three months because we don’t like to talk about those), and yes that means a little something.

However, Cena wrestles in an era with potentially 9 hours of programming (Raw, NXT, Superstars, SD and a PPV) a week. This isn’t the days of the NWA where you saw the stars in town once a year at a house show and the title changed hands twice in three years. The amount of title reigns doesn’t mean a thing but people like to complain about Cena and Edge and HHH and the amount of quick title changes they have without thinking about it so who cares about stuff like consistency right?

This brings us to the present: John Cena vs. The Rock. It’s no secret that Rock is the biggest mainstream star the business has ever produced. He’s a big time movie star, he’s hosted SNL, he’s been the lead guest on the Tonight Show, he’s going to be in the new GI Joe movie, he’s a legit celebrity. And now he’s coming back to wrestling. Who do they put him with? John Cena. This match is going to be one of the biggest in the history of wrestling and it’s going to be built up for over a year when it finally happens.

These are two of the biggest stars of all time and this match is literally going to be over a year in the making. When has there EVER been a match with that kind of build? Off the top of my head, nothing is coming to me. I mean there were matches we knew would be happening at a certain show, but I don’t ever recall being told that a match would be happening a full year in advance with build lasting even longer than that. Cena is the one being trusted with this and that says something to me.

Speaking of the build, let’s take a look at Cena’s mic skills real quick. One of these guys is always talking about childish things, making funny faces and cracking jokes while the guy he’s feuding with is being serious. The other is named John Cena. Think back to the night when Rock came back. He cut a promo on Cena and imitated John in a funny voice while talking about Fruity Pebbles. Cena replied in a rap, pointing out that Rock has made some silly movies (true), that he’s never around the People he claims to be champion of (true) and how we’ve barely seen him for seven years (true). Rock’s reply: more funny voices, more cereal jokes, more making fun of Cena’s clothes.

Cena has responded to everything Rock has said and has made sense the entire time. Every word he has said about Rock has been true. It’s been Cena here the last seven years. Rock has been out in Hollywood (and please, spare me the nonsense about Rock turning his back on wrestling. You would have done the same thing and it was smart of him to do). In short, Cena has been the mature one here and Rock has talked down to him like a bully the entire time.

In summation, John Cena isn’t the devil in a pair of jean shorts. He’s a star the likes of which we haven’t seen in a very long time. Is he Austin or Rock or Hogan? No he isn’t, but to say he’s awful or he has to turn heel to save his career is ridiculous. When the Summer of Punk happened and Cena was having the hottest angle he’s had in years, he was the same John Cena we had seen every time and I didn’t hear anything but rave reviews for him. Whether you think it’s going to be good or not, Rock vs. Cena is going to probably break 1 million buys on PPV and make a fortune for the company and it’s going to be the same John Cena. Like him or not, he’s the best there is and one of the best ever and that’s all there is to it.

NXT
Date: November 2, 2011
Location: BI-LO Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: William Regal, Jack Korpela

We’re approaching a full term pregnancy here as we’re in I think week 35 or so. Darren Young can come back from suspension next week but I don’t think he’ll be returning. The show seems like it’s trying to come back to the way things used to be but it’s really not working. It was a lot better when there were random matches going on instead of ones like there used to be. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the proposal and acceptance from last week with Bateman and Maxine. It’s as stupid as it sounds, complete with a bad love song playing in the background.

Here’s JTG to open the show. He brings out Bateman and Maxine, who wears a lot of REALLY not-PG outfits. Maxine insists the name is BetaMax. I give up. Bateman says he wants to do this right, so he drops to his knee and gives her a ring which is “what 38 weeks of being an NXT Rookie can buy.” He hasn’t been here 38 weeks but whatever.

This brings out Watson, O’Neil and AJ. They really do look good in the suits. Maxine is fishless, whatever that means. Now we’re talking about Fraggle Rock. No one gets the joke, myself included. Bateman sends them away because this is an engagement party and they’re not invited. The girls get into a “you’re uglier than me” contest so O’Neil implies that Maxine’s father is here to make this formal. Titus pulls out a fish. Regal: “He’s doing that just for the halibut.” There are a ton of fish jokes and that’s the best of them all. Titus starts singing Under the Sea when Striker comes out and makes the six man tag main event.

Usos vs. Tyson Kidd/Johnny Curtis

Hawkins is suspended so Curtis is back on NXT as the sub. The winners of those shows can’t catch a break. Kidd vs. let’s say Jey starts us off. The twins take over on Kidd and Jimmy gets two off an elbow. Jey gets the same off a chop. No Curtis in yet, meaning the collective snoring hasn’t started. Oh there he is. For the life of me I don’t get what they saw in him. He’s so bland and cookie-cutter looking I don’t know how he could get more uninteresting.

Back to Kidd as apparently Curtis isn’t even going to grace us with his presence. Thank goodness for that. If I sound a bit incoherent here, you can blame the slight cold I have or Curtis’ ability to suck all the charisma out of a match. The Usos go up but heel double teaming takes them right back down. We take a break and come back with Curtis working on Jey’s knee which may have been hurt coming off the top.

Kidd comes in again as I guess even Curtis is bored by his own work. Back to Boring Man who hits a slingshot legdrop to Jey’s knee. Here’s a leg lock as this match has somehow only been going about 7 minutes including the break. Jey finally sends Kidd to the floor as as we talk about Killer Kowalski. There’s the tag and everything breaks down. The Usos head to the floor where they launch Kidd into the barricade in a cool looking move. Back inside a Samoan Drop followed by a Superfly Splash ends Curtis at 8:47.

Rating: C-. The tag matches here used to be good but I guess they’re just getting boring to me now. The Curtis factor didn’t help things out here either. The problem at the end of the day is the that the Usos are flat out better than any other team and we can only see these guys fight for the sake of fighting so many times before it loses all meaning. I think we hit that six weeks ago.

Raw ReBound. The Sheamus/Beaker thing still makes me smile. There are some deleted scenes in this.

Kaitlyn and AJ chat about the wedding. Can we just look at Kaitlyn for 50 minutes instead?

Kaitlyn vs. Tamina

Rematch from last week, which isn’t nearly as competitive was Korpela wants you to think it was. Regal makes jokes about having an affair with a dwarf. I don’t have any idea what it has to do with this match but it’s funny. Kaitlyn gets more offense in the first 30 seconds than she had all last week. Korpela calls Tamina’s dad (Jimmy Snuka) a Hall of Flamer. The crowd is dead for this. Tamina hammers away and it’s off to a chinlock.

At least we can look at Kaitlyn in those shorts of hers. Jack tries to say that the Divas Division is awesome right now and I begin to chuckle at him. Kaitlyn hits that old classic attack known as WHAT A MANEUVER (modified Side Effect) for the pin at 5:10. Again, can we just look at her for the rest of the show?

Rating: D+. These matches suck. That’s really all there is to say about it. I know Kaitlyn looks good, but is there really any need to have her wrestle? That’s one of the things that suck the time out of a Raw or Smackdown: the Divas matches. They’re not entertaining and most of the time they suck, yet they get a few minutes a week.

AJ/Percy Watson/Titus O’Neil vs. Derrick Bateman/JTG/Maxine

The Fascinating Fact this week: the black sheep of Maxine’s family is an unsavory bishop from the island of Butte, who owns a combined toilet factory who in his spare time sends full tapes of Shetland ponies to people. I think that was a play on words joke but I’m not sure. The girls start us off and Maxine is ticked off. AJ hits a jumping armdrag and things speed up. Maxine rolls to the floor after a spinwheel kick.

Off to JTG vs. Watson now and the good guys take over. Titus gets two off a clothesline and it’s back to Watson. Regal asks a good question: why do you need to dance about when you can hit someone in the mouth? Bateman hits a dropkick thanks to a Maxine distraction as we’re running out of time in a hurry. Jimmy the Gimmick hooks on a chinlock and then hooks a Regal Cutter of all things. Even Regal points that one out.

The announcers talk about how long this season has been. Even they don’t know when it’s ending. Somehow Regal turns this into a metaphor involving a hamster on a skateboard. You can’t say he’s typical. Off to O’Neil and everything breaks down. Clash of the Titus ends Bateman at 6:35.

Rating: C-. Not a bad match or anything, but this match sums up the problem with this season of NXT: Titus can beat Bateman. I looked it up and in this season, that is the 6th time O’Neil or O’Neil’s team has beaten Bateman or Bateman’s team. What in the world is there left for these two to prove? Nothing, but they keep the season going anyway.

Overall Rating: D+. I just don’t care anymore. When things were all going insane it was fun, but we’re going in circles on this show. Titus and the Usos dominate whoever they face, Bateman does nothing of interest and AJ still doesn’t like Maxine. That’s all we’ve seen for the last two months, but it never goes anywhere at all. I don’t get it, but I’m not WWE I guess. It’s not horrible, but it’s more boring than bad.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 31, 2011
Location: Philips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
Guest Stars; The Muppets

I’m not going to lie: I’m a diehard Muppets fan. I’m going to absolutely lose it when they come out and I don’t care who knows about it. As for the show, I really don’t care as it’s going to pale in comparison to all of the stuff with them. Henry vs. Punk is happening tonight and if Punk wins, he gets the shot at Del Rio in New York. Let’s get to it.

We open with Rock on satellite from earlier today. This is his response to Cena’s request for Rock to be his tag partner. Rock is pretty calm here. He says they both represent a generation and Rock (with some gray in his beard) says no. Why would he join up with the Fruit Loop Troop when Cena has been going after Rock for years?

However, the people started talking about how Rock had to do this. With that, he listened to the people and in that sense, Cena’s wish is coming true and at Survivor Series they’ll be a team for one night only. Also though, Rock is doing this so that Cena can witness what is waiting for him at Wrestlemania. The match is on.

Cena vs. Miz later.

CM Punk vs. Mark Henry

We get some exclusive footage from Vengeance, which is just the ring collapsing. They showed this on Smackdown ads last week but it’s called “never before seen”. So they don’t even watch Raw anymore? Before the match starts here’s Johnny Ace who says that if Punk can beat Henry he gets the shot at Del Rio. They probably needed to tell the live crowd that.

Punk tries to fight down the monster but gets caught in a powerslam for two. Punk sends him into the corner and hits a slingshot clothesline and the Macho Elbow for two. Alberto and Ricardo come down with Alberto giving Ricardo some specific instructions. Ricardo comes in and attacks Henry who shoves him off. That isn’t a DQ so Ricardo comes in with a shoe and that’s enough for the DQ at 2:35. That fits in the story so I can’t complain here.

Punk beats on Ricardo a bit and throws him in for the Slam.

THE MUPPETS ARE NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In two weeks, it’s the return of Rock to Raw. What is this, his third return special in 9 months?

HERE THEY ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s Kermit and Miss Piggy and I can’t stop smiling. They come up from behind a stage and are kind of cheered. Piggy calls herself the original Diva and that brings out Vickie and Dolph. Swagger says it ain’t easy being a plate of frog legs and a ham sandwich. Kermit tries to play peacemaker and says they don’t want trouble from Swagger and his mother. Piggy and Vickie get into a shoving match and here’s Santino to a pop. He announces himself vs. Swagger later but Swagger closes Kermit’s mouth for him. Kermit faints from a lack of air. Santino says there will be no Dolph in Jack’s corner tonight because he has to face Ryder. Kermit and Piggy say WOO WOO WOO You Know It.

Here’s Kelly for no apparent reason in….some kind of costume. She has a cowboy had and a sword. Kelly kisses Kermit and Piggy is MAD. There’s a Divas costume battle royal next.

Battle Royal

They’re all in costumes and I’m not going to list off what they’re all in. Eve is Robin, the Bellas rule all as Mario and Luigi. AJ is a chick from Mortal Kombat. The match of course is junk as are most battle royals. Natalya is in there as….some kind of queen I guess. Kaitlyn is Dog the Bounty Hunter and is out.

We’re down to Nattie, Kelly, the Bellas and Eve. Eve beats up both Bellas and Alicia is in this still too. There go the twins after a Stinkface from Kelly. Natalya tries a cover out of instinct which Beth got on Eve for earlier. There goes Alicia as well as Kelly, but Eve dumps Nattie for the win at 2:45. She’s #1 contender now.

The good chicks stand down the evil ones and the bad ones leave.

OFF TO MUPPET LABS!!! Bunsen Honeydew has a potion for Santino and sends Beaker after him. Beaky runs into Christian instead and the Canadian steals the potion, pouring it out. Sheamus pops up behind Beaker who now has his head stuck inside his shirt. Christian leaves and Sheamus fixes Beaker. Beaker talks to Sheamus…..who says he can’t make the family reunion, but tell Aunt Teresa he says high. Sheamus fixes Beaker’s hair to look like his.

Air Boom vs. Cody Rhodes/Wade Barrett

The bell rings after a break. Bourne vs. Rhodes starts us off but it’s off to Kofi about ten seconds in. Kofi hits kind of a spinning pendulum kick in the corner but gets taken down by Rhodes kicking the rope on a springboard. Off to Barrett (in dark gray instead of black) who hits a Bossman Slam and then a chinlock. Barrett actually throws some punches and it’s back to Kofi. Kofi is beaten on for a bit until it’s a hot tag to Bourne. He speeds things way up and counters Wasteland into a DDT for two. Everything breaks down and Kofi is sent to the floor. Bourne gets caught in Wasteland and we’re done at 5:22.

Rating: C-. I don’t get that at all. What is the point in having the champions lose clean again to a thrown together heel combination? The match wasn’t horrible, but why did they need to lose twice like that? I don’t understand at all and it’s book like this that makes the tag division and champions in general look weak.

Post match Christian comes out for some reason to help beat down Kofi but Sheamus makes the save and kicks Cody’s head off.

STATLER AND WALDORF ARE IN THE BALCONY!!!! Statler does the WHAT chant to annoy Waldorf.

Punk comes in to see Ace, who he makes fun of. Ace says Punk can have the title match, if he can convince Alberto to give him one.

Brodus Clay is here next week.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Big Show

Show pounds away in the corner and Del Rio is in trouble early on. It’s domination for the first few minutes with Del Rio only managing a few kicks to the legs. Show misses a charge but hits a clothesline to keep his momentum. Alberto grabs a sleeper which shifts into a chinlock. Show breaks it up and we head to the floor where Show pounds away on him. The bald one misses a charge into the barricade and Del Rio misses an enziguri which is sold anyway.

Alberto hooks a front facelock back in the ring but Show throws him off with relative ease. Both guys are down now. For some reason, Del Rio wants to slug it out with Show as they’re on their knees. Somehow Show is knocked down for two but he easily shoves out of it. Shoe sends him to the floor again and we take a break. Back with Del Rio working on the leg as this is needing to end soon. Speaking of that, Del Rio is sent to the floor and when he comes back in, he walks into the punch for the pin clean at 14:00. Another champion loses.

Rating: C-. The psychology was there for the most part but parts of this were way boring. Show is a guy you have to wrestle a certain way which I think Alberto did here for the most part. Not a bad match, but it needed to have about three and a half minutes cut out of it for the match to work.

Post match here’s Punk while Del Rio is still out cold. He pours water on Del Rio to take him up. Punk wants a clean answer and says before he gets that answer, Punk is going to put on the Anaconda Vice. There’s the hold and Del Rio agrees to the match. His mic goes out again but Punk shouts into the other one that HE SAID YES.

FOZZIE AND GONZO ARE IN THE BACK!!! They talk about how big the guys are and Gonzo says he could be a champion if he tried. Team Vickie comes up and pulls Gonzo’s arms through his shirt to tie him up, saying stay out of Ziggler’s match later. Gonzo is cool with it and Fozzie isn’t sure what to say.

Muppet Movie promo. Oh yes.

Animal is the guest time keeper for the next match. He’s as crazy looking as ever.

Jack Swagger vs. Santino Marella

Swagger beats him down quickly and does pushups on Santino’s back. The fans want Ryder. Swagger grabs the ankle lock but Santino rolls through it. Here’s Beaker with the energy drink to give to Santino. He winds up spitting it into Swagger’s face for the rollup pin at 2:37. Harmless fun.

Zack Ryder vs. Dolph Ziggler

This is non-title. Basic start with a missile dropkick missing and we head to the floor. Dolph is put down and we take a break. Back with Ziggler in control, working on the neck. A neckbreaker puts Ryder down and Dolph nips up. Ryder catches him in a slingshot and they slug it out. A flapjack puts Ziggler down and here’s the Broski Boot for two.

Ryder gets a double knee to Ziggler’s chest in the corner for the pin but Ziggler’s foot was on the rope. The bell rings but it gets waved off due to the feet. Zack chases him around the ring but Vickie interferes. A superkick puts Ryder down but he avoids the Zig Zag. The Rough Ryder pins Ziggler clean at 8:54.

Rating: C. Do they know if they want Ryder or Ryan to take the title off Ziggler yet? It’s really unclear at times but maybe that’s the point. You do have to give them credit for giving Ryder a push due to his crowd reactions lately. Not a horrible match, but they need to either have him win the title or move him on to something else.

We recap HHH/Nash from last week. It’s 10:47 and we have Miz vs. Cena and Cole’s Challenge to go. Doesn’t Nash have a contract already? Why would he need another one? HHH will be out five weeks and Nash has been re-signed.

Cole gets on the announce table and says Ross isn’t here tonight due to something regarding his bowels. Yeah yeah here we go again. Adult diaper jokes are made and the Challenge is moved to next week due to having too much on the show I guess.

Statler and Waldorf make fun of Cole but the laugh isn’t quite right.

Miss Piggy is rubbing Morrison’s abs and Morrison isn’t sure what to make of this. She hits on him but Morrison says he has a friend for her. It’s Horny, who now has a Piggy tattoo on his ankle. He kisses her but gets karate chopped for his efforts. Kermit comes up and Horny is in love. Cody comes in and bags Kermit. SOMEBODY SHOOT THAT MAN!!!

So yeah, no Cole vs. Ross tonight despite it being pushed harder than anything most of the week.

John Cena vs. The Miz

Statler and Waldorf make fun of Miz a bit. This has easily been the weakest part of the Muppet part of the show. We go to a break before the bell….at 10:55. The bell rings after 11pm so this is going to be short. Totally basic match so far and we’re over five minutes into it. There’s just nothing to say because they’re flying through it for the sake of time. Miz hits some of his basic stuff until Cena fires back with a big running clothesline which gets two. Cena hits a superplex for two and we head to the floor. A guy in a Scream mask hits Cena and back in the ring….it means nothing as the STF ends this at 9:00.

Rating: C-. Hard to fault them here because they had to rush things and the match didn’t mean much at all. Cena is always good for a quick one though, even though this would have fit better at a house show more than on Raw. For a main event though, especially for a fun show like this, I can’t fault it much.

Post match the Scream guy comes in again and takes an AA. It’s Truth.

Overall Rating: B. Ok now that’s likely high because of the Muppet involvement but they’re my reviews so who cares? The Muppets fall squarely under the category of “if you don’t like this at least a tiny bit, you have no soul.” This was designed to be a fun show and that’s exactly what it was. Rock/Cena was officially set up, the traditional Survivor Series match was planned and that’s all that needed to happen. The Muppets were fun and that’s all there is to this show.

Results
Mark Henry b. CM Punk via DQ when Ricardo Rodriguez interfered
Eve Torres won a battle royal last eliminating Natalya
Wade Barrett/Cody Rhodes b. Air Boom – Wasteland to Bourne
Big Show b. Alberto Del Rio – WMD
Santino Marella b. Jack Swagger – Rollup
Zack Ryder b. Dolph Ziggler – Rough Ryder
John Cena b. The Miz – STF

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NXT
Date: October 26, 2011
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Jack Korpela, William Regal

We’re past Vengeance now and there are actually signs that some things are starting to wrap up on this show. I can’t say I’d be complaining, as this show is almost the length of a full term pregnancy at this point. Anyway, according to the card that I’ve seen we might have four matches on here which almost has to be a record for this show. Let’s get to it.

At least they’re trying to make it look like this show is still coherent by not changing the opening credits.

We open with Bateman, JTG, Maxine, O’Neil and Watson in the ring. O’Neil makes fun of Maxine and calls her a dolphin or something. It’s time for the Talk the Talk Challenge. Bateman goes first and talks about football and the Cowboys, who are mostly booed. He makes fun of Titus’ trunks. This is pretty weak. Titus says the trunks are for breast cancer awareness because he lost two grandmothers to it. He says he’s awesome and that Bateman won’t stop him from winning this competition. O’Neil wins with ease.

Titus issues a challenge of his own. He and Watson make fun of Maxine and JTG and a brawl breaks out. Two singles matches are made.

Percy Watson vs. JTG

The fans start booing loudly for some reason at the start of the match but nothing has happened yet. Regal buries the talking skills of both guys as Watson takes it to the mat. Watson knocks him to the floor and we take a break with JTG clubbering him. Back with Watson in control again and getting two off some punches. Out to the floor again with JTG hitting a running clothesline that gets two back in the ring.

Off to some choking and we hear that JTG has been in the WWE for about six years. That doesn’t seem possible to me for some reason. It still makes me smile when I think of people saying he was going to be something once Cryme Tyme broke up. Off to a chinlock as Regal keeps burying the challenge. JTG goes up but jumps into a facebuster to put both guys down. Watson takes over and hits a clothesline and the spinning splash for two. The fireman’s carry into the pancake (called the Persecution) ends this at 6:47.

Rating: D+. Technically it was fine but there was nothing to this at all. Percy’s name isn’t doing him any favors as it makes me think of one of the trains from Thomas the Tank Engine from when I was a kid. JTG continues to be boring and the match was nothing to see at all other than just a long squash.

Hawkins is ranting about his injury and Striker comes up with a suspension due to something related to the walkout. No idea what that’s about. Nor do I particularly care.

The Muppets are coming to Raw. I’m going to get bashed for this, but I haven’t been more excited for a show in YEARS. No sarcasm or joke there at all.

Jey Uso vs. Tyson Kidd

Hawkins is with Kidd here for some reason. Regal talks about Kidd spending the past week in Calgary training with Bret on a rolling Indian Deathlock. Cool sounding move. Uso takes over quickly and puts Kidd in the Tree of Woe for two. Kidd comes back as we compare Harts vs. Samoans. Korpela brings up a good question: if Hawkins is suspended, why is he at ringside?

Tyson hammers away and hooks a chinlock. Regal says he’s the darling of Twitter. My goodness it’s nice to not hear about trending topics for once. Alley-Us doesn’t work so Jey kicks him in the face instead. The Superfly Splash hits knees though and a spinning fisherman’s neckbreaker ends this at 4:33.

Rating: C. Pretty decent match from guys that are actually good in the ring when they get to be in it. Kidd is a good guy to push as the NXT Champion when it finally is introduced. Nothing too bad here and it’s fun to see two young guys out there getting a chance to have some fun. More time would have helped though, but it is just NXT.

Tatsu makes the save from a post match beatdown. We’re waiting on the six man I guess.

Ad for Cena vs. Rock which really is going to be huge. I know that’s a really obvious statement but it’s starting to sink in just how big this match is.

Raw ReBound eats up a few minutes. The announcement would have been a bit better if it hadn’t been told to us at the end of Vengeance.

Rock will make his decision on Raw.

AJ and Kaitlyn talk in the back. Kaitlyn talks about how she’s going to destroy Tamina. Tamina pops up behind her and Kaitlyn knows she’s there. This is stupid but that goes without saying.

Kaitlyn vs. Tamina

Kaitlyn is the hometown girl. Not that we’re told that but I guess it’s implied. Tamina hits a superkick to kill Kaitlyn for two. Tamina beats her down as this is a very dull Divas match so far. That covers a lot of ground too. Tamina goes for a fireman’s carry and Kaitlyn gets her only move of the match with a sunset flip for the pin at 2:58. This was as boring as it sounds.

Derrick Bateman vs. Titus O’Neil

AJ is on commentary because….eh who cares she’s cute. AJ lists off reasons why Maxine isn’t nice, including she’s wicked. I want AJ to call me wicked. Maxine sits in on commentary as well. The girls get into an argument of course and Regal says go ahead and fight. AJ: “Fun fact about Maxine: she feeds off the souls of babies.” Maxine suggests AJ was caught between a midget leprechaun and a large black man in pink underwear that barks like a dog in some very non-PG positions.

Bateman slides to the floor to talk to Maxine and then hits a big dive on Titus when he comes out to see him. Bateman hammers away back in the ring and it’s off to a chinlock. This is all about the commentary and to be fair it’s far more interesting. Regal talks about the match and he’s just outnumbered. The couple’s name is BetaMax. I give up. O’Neil misses something from the ropes and Bateman rolls him up for the pin at 4:40.

Rating: D. The match sucked but the commentary was hilarious. I love shows like these where the announcers know no one important is listening and can have some fun on the commentary. That’s what NXT is good at and it’s far better than listening to Cole talking about Twitter 100 times an hour.

Post match, Bateman proposes to Maxine (Regal: “I think I might start self-harming.”) and gets slapped. Then he gets kissed. O’Neil covering AJ’s eyes on the floor is pretty funny. Maxine says yes. There’s your main angle for three weeks. They hug and Maxine looks like she’s in big trouble.

Overall Rating: C-. If there was a rating between this and D+ it would get that. It’s not really bad but there’s nothing to see here. Again it’s playing out like a low level old school indy company. That’s a fun thing to see because they know they’ve got nothing to lose so why not just have fun out there? That’s a great attitude to have and when you stop taking things so seriously in wrestling, you can have a much more entertaining show at times. This wasn’t their best, but I like watching this show for that laid back feeling to it.

Results
Titus O’Neil won the Talk the Talk Challenge
Percy Watson b. JTG – Persecution
Tyson Kidd b. Jey Uso – Spinning Fisherman’s Neckbreaker
Kaitlyn b. Tamina – Sunset Flip
Derrick Bateman b. Titus O’Neil – Rolling Cradle

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Vengeance 2011
Date: October 23, 2011
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Jerry Lawler

We’re finally at the last PPV before Survivor Series and the end of the three PPVs in six Sunday run that happens every fall in WWE. The main events are nothing to write home about as we have a rematch with a gimmick on the Red side and a rematch from a few months ago on the Blue side. I still say this show doesn’t need to exist but that’s WWE for you. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video about the three main events and the almost required Pulp Fiction vengeance upon thee lines.

Tag Titles: Air Boom vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger

Who exactly is Vickie wanting to be quiet? She’s the only one talking. It’s like she’s being overly loud and annoying for the sake of getting on the fans’ nerves. Air Boom has new music and their color of the night is red. Dolph and Kofi start us off. Now there’s a rivalry. Dolph has tights that have so many colors in them that RVD would be jealous. There’s red, white, blue, a darker red and what looks to be a flag pattern on it. Also it looks like a singlet with the straps down.

Kofi takes over to start and hammers on Dolph, getting two off a monkey flip that sent Dolph over so hard that he landed on his face. Bourne comes in and gets two. It’s so weird to hear Bourne listed as 165lbs. Swagger comes in and gets rolled up for two before it’s back to Kofi. He tries to go up but since AMERICA is better than Ghana, he catches him in a powerslam for two.

Sweet dropkick by Dolph puts Kofi down and we’re told that immediately after this it’s Ryder vs. Ziggler. That’s very intriguing. I can’t imagine Dolph leaves as a double champion. And there go Booker and Cole. To be fair we were a full twelve minutes into the show so you can’t expect the two grown adults in their 40s to maintain their composure much longer than that.

Lawler makes really bad Vickie jokes as it’s a hot tag to Bourne. He fires off his jumping strikes and gets a kick to Jack for two. The Shooting Star gets loaded up but Dolph makes the save and Evan lands on his feet. Now he fires off the Shooting Star but it eats knees. You could tell Jack was scared to death for that one. Dolph works on an armbar as the announcers debate who should have a talk show on the WWE Network. That thing is going to be a trainwreck.

Vader Bomb gets two for Swagger. The crowd is into this show so far. They’ve cut to Vickie about 8 times so far. Swagger goes after Kofi to break up a tag which gets him rolled up for two. Ankle lock is countered and Swagger is sent to the floor. Dolph goes old school heel to make sure the tag isn’t seen, but Jack pulls Kofi off the apron anyway. Back to Ziggy and this match is getting some time. Nice to see the PPV getting the longer matches like it’s supposed to.

A second Vader Bomb misses and Kofi comes in to clean house. He hits the big cross body for a VERY close two on Ziggler. Boom Drop hits the same guy which is a move I haven’t seen in awhile. Trouble in Paradise misses but the SOS gets two. Trouble in Paradise is caught in the ankle lock but Bourne comes in with the double knee to Jack to take them out. Dolph rolls up Kofi with tights for two but walks into the kick to set up the Shooting Star for the pin to retain at 13:30.

Rating: B.Good old fashioned tag match here with a very hot finish. I was digging this and it’s very cool to see an actual tag title feud like this with a pair of established (mostly at least) teams. Air Boom holding the titles for awhile and defending them almost every week it seems is really helping them out. Fun match and I had a really good time with it.

US Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder

This starts almost immediately with Dolph barely back to his feet. Zack doesn’t run straight at him but Dolph is barely moving. Ryder pounds him into the corner and Air Boom/Swagger/Vickie are still at ringside. Ryder gets a forearm for two and a whip into the corner gets the same. Dolph grabs a neckbreaker to get a breath of air. The fans are all behind Ryder.

Dolph is knocked to the floor so Air Boom throws him back inside. That gets them ejected and they’re stunned by this. The fans are all over Vickie and have been all night. Flapjack gets two for Ryder. I’m glad they didn’t have Ryder run out there and steal the title. Ryder misses a cross body and hits the ropes to put both guys down. My goodness Ziggler is technically a Triple Crown winner.

Ziggler is in total control here. Naturally as soon as I say that he misses a splash. Naturally as soon as I say that he avoids the Broski Boot and hits a Fameasser for two. The fans are staying into this or are at least into the near falls. Ryder gets the knees up in the corner and he has blonde hair now. Broski Boot hits but Vickie has the referee. Zig Zag is countered and down goes Swagger. Dolph fires off a superkick that totally missed but it’s enough for the pin at 6:10.

Rating: C-. Very basic match here and there was nothing going on in it at all. I don’t really get the booking here at all: they set up Ryder perfectly to have him take the title here and then they just don’t do it. At least it could have been worse though. I mean, can you imagine a company spending three months building up someone to get a title and then keep it on the guy that has nowhere to go with the title because they just decided at the last minute that it was the right move?

Punk is talking to DiBiase of all people when HHH comes up. There’s no rah rah speech but Punk wants to make it clear to Awesome Truth that it’s an unsafe working environment now rather than what it was when HHH was in charge.

Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Beth Phoenix

We get a clip from earlier in the day with the evil girls attacking Kelly as Eve makes the save. I guess Kelly is Crazy is going into the pool of the forgotten right? Eve has new music too and it sounds awful. At least we can look at her awesome legs. Kelly and Natalya are banned from ringside. Eve grabs a sunset flip to start and we’re talking about Beth’s underwear for some reason.

They fight over to the ropes…and Beth is now handcuffed to the ropes via something on her own outfit. Eve kicks away and Beth is free. Uh, point to that? Beth takes over on the floor and gets two back in the ring. The fans are bored out of their minds here which is saying a lot as they were hot for the first half hour.

Gutbuster kind of move gets two and we’re off to our second rest hold in a minute. Beth slaps her head and screams at her to cry. Eve starts her comeback and puts Beth down with a clothesline and a flipping splash for two. Eve gets some kind of choke out while she on Beth’s shoulders and it turns into something resembling a triangle choke. The cool looking submission doesn’t work though because that might get it over as a finisher and Eve has one of those already. Glam Slam is countered into a rollup for two. Eve gets a kick in and goes up for the moonsault but Beth moves. Glam Slam ends this at 7:16.

Rating: D+. I’ve watched a lot of wrestling in my time and I don’t recall a division or story that I was less interested in than the Divas in WWE at the moment. I mean there is nothing of interest or note at all about them. They kill the crowds other than Kelly and the matches are as unnatural looking as any I’ve ever seen. I mean there is nothing interesting to them at all and I dread watching them every show. The match wasn’t bad. I just didn’t want to watch it.

Big Show says he’s back tonight and that better is better, not bigger. He says 3 seconds doesn’t end 15 years of failure for Henry. The military thing doesn’t really work for Big Show. Show gets in Striker’s face and says he’ll get Vengeance.

Ad for the Bret vs. Shawn DVD, which if my memory is correct, the Screwjob match is only on the Blu-Ray.

Christian vs. Sheamus

No recap here which is a nice time saver. Christian stalls before we get started. It’s a brawl to start and Sheamus takes that easily. The Canadian is beaten down into the corner as Cole repeats a line from Lawler. Sheamus gets Christian in the ropes and pounds away. Booker calls them Irish Hand Grenades. Cole says it’s called the Unreastra. It’s an Irish thing of some sort.

Christian comes back with a neckbreaker and then a neckbreaker followed by a punch and then more punches. A mixed set of moves isn’t his strong suit tonight. Cole lists off their resumes like JR lists off football stats back in the 80s. Hearing all of those title reigns for everyone makes them seem a little weak but whatever. Middle rope missile dropkick hits but the Swan Dive misses.

Cole says this is the second match trending worldwide on Twitter tonight. Yes boys and girls, stop watching the show and go look at Twitter instead! Sheamus hits a fallaway slam for two. Christian tries to charge at him but gets caught by a slingshot shoulder block for two. A gorilla press is countered and Christian pops off a right hand and the reverse DDT for two.

High Cross is countered as is the pendulum kick. Is Sheamus channeling Scott Hall lately? With the fallaway slam and the Edge I think he is. Irish Curse is countered into a Killswitch attempt but Christian gets caught in another High Cross attempt. Christian gets out and hits two pendulum kicks but jumps into the Irish Curse for two. Spear counters the Brogue Kick but it only gets two because Christian has no business using the spear.

Sheamus goes up top as this is trending on Twitter too. WHY SHOULD WE FREAKING CARE ABOUT TWITTER??? The people hearing about this have already bought the show so why are you trying to sell it to us again? Sheamus gets caught in a hurricanrana off the top but kicks Christian’s head off in another spear attempt for the pin at 9:37.

Rating: C+. Not bad here but dude, we’ve seen it how many times on Smackdown already? Christian using the spear is getting on my nerves (small guy using a power move) but Cole talking about how everything is on Twitter is really getting to me. I mean, WHO CARES ABOUT TWITTER??? Oh wait. It makes Vince think the world cares about his stuff and that he’s been accepted by the mainstream audience. Never let it be said he doesn’t cater things to himself at times.

Otunga and Ace are chatting when Awesome Truth comes up. Otunga leaves and the tag team sucks up to Ace a bit. Ace: “I think you could be the greatest tag team in the world.” Awesome Truth: “Really?” Ace: “No, but you guys suck up well.” Ace leaves and they get in an argument about who is better at sucking. Then they say HHH and Punk suck. Is there a point to this? This goes on way too long and they say they don’t like Texas.

We recap HHH/Punk vs. Awesome Truth with a video that I think aired on Smackdown. This eats up like 3 minutes and is about chaos that has been running wild on Raw since MITB. Good video though.

Awesome Truth vs. HHH/CM Punk

Miz vs. Punk to start us off. That goes nowhere so it’s off to Truth vs. HHH. The Game is still COO, but he doesn’t run Raw anymore. Ok then. Nothing at all in the first two and a half minutes. HHH takes over on Truth and the fans react big. Back to Punk who gets a chant and a falcon arrow for two. HEY! Two things are trending on Twitter that are related to WWE!

This has been going on over five minutes now and there is nothing to say. HHH and Punk even cheat like heels while Punk has Miz in an armbar. We talk about the immigration issue from Monday and it sounds like something that isn’t going to mean anything in a few days but will probably be a big plot point soon enough. Awesome Truth takes over on Punk and there’s a chinlock.

HHH has a little bit of a gut on him now. Off to Gutty McGame who cleans house and puts both guys on the floor with a double clothesline. Cole goes into a political rant about Republicans being on the fence to make fun of Booker and I have no idea what Booker’s original point was. HHH gets beaten down for awhile now as Lawler and Booker try to debate heel philosophy. Booker apparently cursed during that as Lawler says younger children need earmuffs when he talks.

Booker tries to claim the credit for “if you’re not cheating, you’re not trying.” And in Texas of all places. HHH gets beaten down for a little while longer and Truth hooks on a figure four headlock. HHH stands up and hits an electric chair (why is it called that anyway) drop and then a DDT to set up the hot tag to Punk. Punk beats up Miz and stops to look at the camera in a creepy way. Truth breaks up the elbow but HHH stops Truth.

Macho Elbow hits and it’s GTS time. Miz is enough of a main event guy to escape it though. We watch Truth vs. HHH on the floor and Nash is back. He drills HHH and puts him down. Back in the ring, Miz and Truth hit a combination jumping downward spiral and Finale, which is called the Little Jimmy Finale for the pin on Punk at 15:03.

Rating: D+. Totally boring main event tag match here and Nash returning made me roll my eyes. It’s setting up Nash vs. HHH in some way which is something that no one but HHH and Nash want to see. The match was just boring because nothing changes because of it. The ending just gives us more questions and Punk now gets pinned before he’s allegedly going into the title picture. Great.

Nash beats up HHH post match and Jackknifes him. That looked a bit botched.

Alberto comes up to talk to Ace in the back and rants about the last man standing match. Ace says it’s an opportunity and Del Rio says he’ll find a way to win.

Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton

Non-title here. Randy takes over to start but Cody gets in a mask shot to take over. More Twitter things that are tweeting. There’s even a graphic to say what’s on there now. I give up. Cody throws on a Boston Crab which Randy eventually escapes with a kick to the face. Alabama Slam gets two for Rhodes. Cody busts out a moonsault but Randy moves. I guess he’s channeling his inner Angle.

There’s the powerslam but Cody blocks the DDT and goes up. That doesn’t go so well as he jumps into a dropkick. Beautiful Disaster gets two for Rhodes. The DDT is countered again and Orton gets his backbreaker for two. That sweet over the shoulder neckbreaker gets two. They go up to the corner and Cody gets a headbutt with the mask to set up a moonsault press for two.

One of the baggers distracts Randy so that Cody can hook Cross Rhodes for two. He’s shocked but welcome to the main event Cody: finishers mean jack. Now Rhodes loads up an RKO (yes that’s correct) but Randy counters into the elevated DDT. The other bagger pops up but Cody is shoved into him. RKO and pin at 12:08.

Rating: C+. It’s nice to see Orton out of the title picture for a bit but I’m not sure what the point of this was. Rhodes got to look good but the Baggers had no point being there. I can’t complain about the champion losing here because he isn’t ready to beat Orton, but this rubs me the wrong way for some reason. Decent match though.

Rock is at Survivor Series. Thank goodness.

We recap Show vs. Henry. Henry injured him, Henry won the title during Show’s injury time, Show wants the title for revenge.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Mark Henry

They fight over a lockup to start and Henry pushes him into the corner. Show gets to fire away at the ribs and the obvious question comes into play: why not use the big right hand that you know can knock Henry out cold? Show throws him back in and manages a superkick to put Henry on the floor. WE’RE TRENDING PEOPLE!!! WE’RE TRENDING!!! Henry tries to leave with the title but that goes nowhere.

A big slam hits Show to put him down and it’s all champion now. Off to the leg now and Henry works on it by laying on it. You can’t say he isn’t practical. Show tries to slam Henry but the leg gives out. Back to the leg for more cranking which goes on for a few moments. They hit the ropes and collide to put both of them down. They slug it out from their knees. Even from his knees Show is still taller than the local luchador.

Show makes his comeback with punches and clotheslines. Into the corner and it’s time for the power of fat to take over. That would be bald white fat instead of haired black fat. He loads up the chokeslam which hits clean but Henry kicks out at like 2.1. So is the punch his official finisher? The Punch is countered into the Slam for two. That would have been a horribly awkward ending if that had been it.

Hang onto your nachos with barbecue sauce: Mark Henry is going to the top rope. Show manages to throw him off with what is supposed to be a chokeslam and Henry kicks out again. Show is stunned and I can’t say I blame him. The announcers didn’t really react to the chokeslam that well either. Now Show is looking at the corner. Oh dear. Show goes up but Henry makes the save and keeps the planet’s tides from changine. Henry hits a superplex and there goes the ring. Not as good of an explosion as Lesnar, but still pretty good. Both guys are down and the match is thrown out (I guess) at about 12 minutes.

Rating: B-. Battles of the giants are always fun and this was no exception. There’s nothing wrong with having two big guys out there hitting each other really hard and this worked too. The ring breaking is really cool and you don’t need a ring for a last man standing match so that’s all cool. The show was looking to run short also so they needed something like this. Fun match and it sets up a gimmick match in New York.

They’re still down so here are Long and Ace. What role does Ace have here at all? Henry is still down but Show is up on his knees. Show gets on the cart and is holding his neck. He’s talking and cursing though. Henry actually falls out of the ring and is still trying to get up. He shoves the referees away and collapses. Henry stumbles up the ramp as he’s selling this thing to death.

Ace gets on the mic and says the title match is still on. He slips up (intentionally) and says it’s what he wants, not what the fans want.

We recap this feud, which can be summed up as Cena’s rematch after losing the title in a triple threat in the Cell.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio

Last man standing. Cena has a new shirt that says Rise Above Hate. More anti-bullying stuff even though that fad/movement is pretty much over. He walks up to a fan at ringside wearing a “We Hate Cena” shirt and gives him a little smirk. The guy has no idea what to do so Cena throws his hat over near him and gets in. The guy in the shirt was stunned.

Rodriguez jumps Cena and gets the advantage for Del Rio. Cena is in camo shorts here instead of the usual jeans. They’re actually in the broken ring. We talk about the ring collapsing and Jerry actually says Lesnar’s name. They head out for some brawling and Cena takes over back inside. I’m not going to bother mentioning the counts because they’re not going to come close until about ten minutes in.

Rodriguez has a big black eye. Belly to back puts Cena down and a second one puts him down again. Make it three of them. The ring is at a slant now. This really is a unique look. AA is countered into a Backstabber as Del Rio takes over again. He keeps going to the corners for some reason. Del Rio fires off some more suplexes but Cena counters and starts his finishing sequence. He looks for ropes for the Shuffle and has none in a funny bit.

AA is countered and the Mexican hits a German on the American. Cena hits a gutwrench suplex and they’re both down. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Cena down but Del Rio breaks it up. They have a good explanation for it though: why let Cena have a break when you know he’s getting up? Alberto puts Cena under the ropes and part of a post so he can stomp on it, getting about seven and Del Rio charges into the AA.

That only gets about 8 and Ricardo comes in to break up another AA. Cena fires off move #19, a big boot, to take Ricardo down. Alberto uses the distraction to try the armbreaker but Del Rio grabs a rear naked choke which slips into a sleeper instead. The referee checks the arm because….because…..because he’s not that smart. Cena is out and Del Rio has to be up to let the count begin, despite that not being a rule so far throughout the match.

Cena is up at like 7 and Del Rio is tossed into the barricade (no ropes remember) in a great looking crash. This is only the second time they’ve been out of the ring. Cena loads up the steps but goes into them according to Wrestling Law #2 (#1 is the table version). Rodriguez tries to cheat again but gets crotched on the post. Cena puts Alberto onto the post to teeter tot the post into Ricardo’s balls. Ok that was clever.

More steps are set up but Cena goes into them head first this time. Lawler says the steps weigh 400 pounds. So in other words, Del Rio and Cena could lift about half a ton if they were trying. A step shot to Cena like the one he hit Del Rio with on Monday gets 8. They fight into the back which is where things get interesting. Del Rio goes onto what looks like a catering/drink table and Cena is all fired up.

There’s a large anvil case (taller than Cena by about two feet) and far wider and Cena tries to drop it on Del Rio. He shoves it over but the champ moves. That would have killed him so that’s a good thing. Del Rio slams Cena onto the case and I think he breaks it. Cena is up at seven but back down at 8. Del Rio drops a big metal thing onto Cena (part of the interview set) and then shoves another onto him. Cena is getting buried AND THE INTERNET REJOICES!!! There are like five of them on him and he’s not moving. Jericho did this to Kane at Armageddon 2000.

Cena is like screw these five big metal objects on me and is up at 8. I love when wrestling just gets ridiculous like that. Rodriguez gets involved again and Cena is thrown through what looks like a cheap wooden V that the set is made of. He’s not on his back so we can’t count. Del Rio sets up a regular table (bigger pop than anything else in the match) and climbs up the set for no apparent reason. Cena pulls him down and he crashes through the table and Alberto is up at 9.

They fight over to the equipment stuff and then into the crowd. Ok they’re back at ringside now and onto the announce table. Cena throws Alberto into the barricade and takes out Ricardo for about the 9th time for fun. Alberto tries the running enziguri against the post but misses, probably breaking his leg. Cena loads up the steps for the third time and I think it’s Super AA time. You know, instead of letting the guy with a probably broken leg stay there.

Cena can be kind of a jerk in these matches you know? Yep it’s Super AA time and the Spanish Announce Table (trademark) explodes. That looks to be in but Awesome Truth runs in to beat down Cena. The referee stops looking at Del Rio as Miz hits the Finale and Truth hits Little Jimmy (the 10th name for his finisher) to put Cena out. Del Rio is up and Cena STILL gets up at 9. This is downright comical. There’s a belt shot and that’s finally enough to beat Cena at 27:00.

Rating: B. I’d call this match fun more than good. It’s when you get to the period of “can you top this and mix it with cartoon stuff that would kill people but only gets 9 counts that things get interesting. The idea here is it was Cena’s match but Del Rio found a way to win. I had fun with it and while I’d have liked something better than a belt shot to end it, it was still fun overall.

Cena looks messed up in the eyes.

Overall Rating: C-. Well the last two matches helped it A LOT but the rest of it was just weak. There was no reason for this show but it kind of gives us some closure to this segment of the year. With this ending we’re going to go into the Rock time which is what we’ve needed to do for awhile. This brings up the mentioned Survivor Series match with Miz/Truth being the two main heels on it. Not the worst show ever, but the first two hours or so were pretty weak.

Results
Air Boom b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler – Shooting Star Press to Ziggler
Dolph Ziggler b. Zack Ryder – Superkick
Beth Phoenix b. Eve Torres – Glam Slam
Sheamus b. Christian – Brogue Kick
Awesome Truth b. CM Punk/HHH – Little Jimmy Finale
Randy Orton b. Cody Rhodes – RKO
Mark Henry vs. Big Show went to a no contest
Alberto Del Rio b. John Cena when Cena couldn’t answer the ten count

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I figured that’s a better title than PPV Predictions as I’ll have some general thoughts in this as well.

As I’ve made very clear, this is a show that doesn’t need to exist.  The HIAC show should be moved to this date, or in a perfect world HIAC wouldn’t exist as a PPV but we’re splitting hairs here.  This show seems like a cutting off point as just after Sunday we start the build for Survivor Series and ultimately, Wrestlemania.  It seems like they’re just in a holding pattern until then, which isn’t a good thing for the most part.

As for the matches, I’m going to take Henry, Alberto and HHH/Punk.  My guess would be Kane returns around the end of the year and fights Henry at the Rumble.  Cena doesn’t have anything to do if he wins the title again and if they’re smart, they’ll let the title and Cena be apart for awhile as you can have two draws for the Mania build period.  Cena vs. Rock is bigger than the title anyway.  You need to have a face win in there so there’s the tag match stuff.

Thoughts/predictions?

Smackdown
Date: October 21, 2011
Location: Mexican Sports Palace, Mexico City, Mexico
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

It’s the final night of shows in Mexico and it’s also the final show before the PPV. I’m not really sure what else they’re going to add to the show as I think they have six or seven matches on the card so far. That being said, we could use some more build for most of the matches, primarily because there were only three weeks of build for this show. Let’s get to it.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is 3 PPVs in 6 Sundays for WWE alone.

Here’s Alberto to open the show. Naturally he’s a huge face here in Mexico. Ah there’s the commentary. Nothing had been said for over two minutes. I didn’t know Cole had it in him. Tonight Alberto was supposed to face Big Show but due to Cena’s attack on Monday, that can’t happen. I wonder if the fans chuckle at being told that dinner is attacking people. He wanted to perform for his Mexico but he can’t do that now. Alberto speaks some Spanish, talking about wanting to be the best Mexican ever and that’s about it.

As he’s leaving, here’s Teddy to interrupt him. Alberto has been checked out by WWE doctors and they say all is well. Teddy thinks that Alberto is trying to get out of the match, so tonight Alberto will indeed face Big Show. Alberto says he’ll make Show tap so Teddy asks the fans if they want to see the match. Uh…why?

As Teddy is leaving and Alberto is still in the ring, here’s Henry. We go to a graphic for the mask vs. mask match tonight and there’s no commentary still. I don’t know what’s going on with that. We get a clip of Henry hurting Morrison on Monday. The rest of the audio is fine so I don’t know where the commentary is. I heard them earlier.

John Morrison vs. Mark Henry

Decent pop for Johnny. Morrison is shoved to the floor quickly and then has his head shoved against the post like a vice. The commentators don’t seem to be doing anything. Back inside it’s time for a neck crank and we take a break. Back with Morrison in mid-flight on Starship Pain for two. He tries a baseball slide through Henry’s legs but gets stomped on. The Slam ends this at 2:05 shown of 5:15.

Rating: C-. Just a squash here for the most part but I’m digging this no commentary thing. I don’t know if it’s something with the version I’m watching or what but it’s kind of a nice change of pace. Morrison’s depush continues as it looks like he’s on his way out, especially given the way most others were treated similarly on their ways out. Nothing to see here.

Christian and Vickie are in the back and Vickie talks about being friends with Johnny Ace. Vickie wants Christian to join her team. Teddy comes in and makes Christian vs. Sheamus at the PPV. Christian leaves so Teddy makes Dolph vs. Ryder for the US Title. That means Dolph is wrestling twice, which they point out. Ryder comes in with a catchphrase, making Vickie scream.

The announcers talk about Sin Cara vs. Sin Cara. Ok so they can talk. I guess the first match was just an error? They talk about the mask vs. mask match tonight and how it’s a battle of the Sin Caras. We hear about how Black had his identity stolen by Blue and tonight it’s about who the real Sin Cara is. Having this in Mexico is brilliant.

(I flipped on the regular airing on TV and the commentary was there for the first match. I guess it was just the version I was watching not working.)

Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan

Commentary sounds fine now. We get a quick promo from Barrett, talking about how tonight will be the beginning of the Great Barrett Uprising and how he doesn’t need to have anyone by his side anymore. Bryan isn’t going to shave until Mania. That’s some high level reporting there guys. Wasteland is countered into a crucifix a few seconds in. LeBell Lock is countered and there’s a Boss Man Slam for two. NICE big boot puts Bryan on the floor.

Off to a chinlock for a few seconds but Bryan gets back into things with a missile dropkick for two. Another big boot by Barrett gets two and it’s off to a bow and arrow hold. A forearm puts Barrett down and Bryan does the, and I’m not making this up, Ultimate Warrior rope shake on his way up. Barrett takes him down again and hits the pumphandle slam for two. Bryan goes up but jumps into Wasteland for the pin at 5:11.

Rating: B-. Pretty fun stuff here, especially for only about five minutes. They hit a lot of stuff here and it was a pretty hard hitting match on top of that. These two have some solid chemistry together, but it’s been awhile since either guy has been on the show. I wonder why that is.

Sheamus/Zack Ryder vs. Dolph Ziggler/Christian

As always it’s cool to see the two feuds at once thing. Ryder vs. Ziggler to start but Christian comes in quickly. Ryder grabs a rollup for two and I’m already sick of him being called the Woo Woo Woo Kid. A dropkick gets two for Dolph. Off to Christian who gets a decent heel reaction. Cole is yelling at Booker about softballs or something. There’s a double tag to Sheamus and Ziggler. Josh actually talks about it as he has to shout over his partners. Irish Curse gets two on the champ. Christian runs and the Zig Zag fails, allowing the Brogue Kick to end Ziggler at 3:58.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match here but it was nice to see both feuds getting TV time at once. However, there wasn’t much here from both pairings directly against each other which hurt things a bit. Still though, this wasn’t too bad so I can’t really complain much. As crazy as it sounds, Ryder could become US Champion on Sunday. That’s hard to believe but it’s realistic.

During the break, Christian speared Sheamus on the stage.

Here’s Cody in the ring. We get a clip from a few weeks ago with Orton taking Cross Rhodes and being bagged. He talks about being infected by the Viper’s blood and now let’s talk about Dusty. Dusty told Cody that people are inherently evil and after years of Orton holding Rhodes down, he got his release a few weeks ago by bagging Randy. Rhodes says this time he’s the one with everything going for him while Randy is just the same old guy with the same old tricks.

He calls out Orton and wants an admission from Randy, saying he was wrong about Cody. That brings out the Viper (I really hope some new fan isn’t reading this stuff because all the names might get confusing) who says Cody has cost him the title twice. The injury from the ring bell will pale in comparison to what he has planned on Sunday. Randy wants a preview but the baggers distract Randy long enough for Cody to take over. Cody gets backdropped to the floor and a bagger gets the elevated DDT. Another bagger makes the save but gets his head stomped into the steps. The one that got the DDT takes an RKO as well.

Black Sin Cara has a Blue mask on and that’s next. Seriously, that isn’t the main event? From what I can find, it was taped last and aired at this time instead. That’s pretty logical.

Sin Cara vs. Sin Cara

This is a regular mask but the loser has to unmask. To avoid confusion, I’ll be calling them blue and black. Blue gets a BIG ovation and is clearly fired up to be here. There’s a big Mistico chant to start things off. Cole explains the story which makes sense, although I don’t think many people outside of America care. Black is sent to the floor and there’s a big dive off the top to the floor.

Another one in the ring gets two. Blue tries to speed things up but messes up a springboard move, getting caught in the ribs by a dropkick instead. Black is sent to the floor and we take a break. Back with a backbreake getting two on Blue. Black takes it to the mat and hooks the leg in a submission and then into a booed camel clutch. After some more time on the match, Blue fights back for just a few seconds before going back down again.

Black goes after the mask but Blue fights him off. Black hits a Jeff Hardy slingshot dropkick to Blue in the corner but a charge misses and both guys are down. Blue busts out some of his high flying stuff and I think we get an edit but I’m not sure. A pair of rollups get four which isn’t three. Black hits a Samoan Drop for two. They go up and Blue snaps off a rana from the top for no cover. Blue hits the Swanton for only two. They hit the ropes and Blue busts out his old finishing move, La Mistica, to end this at 10:34 shown of 14:04.

Rating: C+. This was WAY better than their PPV match which might have been due to it being their hometown crowd or something like that, but either way this was a far better match than the other one. Blue can now move onto something better, perhaps a shot at Ziggler or Rhodes or something (the face thing would fit pretty well) while Hunico will probably be gone.

Post match Black tries to leave but Blue beats him up and takes the mask to a big reaction.

Brodus Clay is still coming.

Beth and Natalya are in the ring and Beth talks about how much more dominant they are. We get some clips of the beatings on Kelly and that submission is called Pinup Strong. As for Eve…she’s going to cut off their music because that’s how it works in wrestling. She says the evil ones are ugly on the inside and she’s not a Barbie Doll. They can’t break her and they think Eve should cry. They shove each other a little and Beth might have fallen out of her top. This might be the weakest build I’ve ever seen.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Big Show

I wonder if the car angle will be brought up. Del Rio can’t do anything to start as Show hammers away in the corner. Del Rio gets choked and sent to the floor but he clotheslines Show on the top rope…but then gets chopped down with ease as we take a break. Back with the champ kicking away at the leg but that fails too. Alberto manages to drive the steps into Show’s knees to take over for what must have been a good 4 seconds.

A clothesline puts Del Rio down as this has been one sided the entire time so far. Show hooks what looks like a cobra clutch before dropping a leg for two. Alberto FINALLY wakes up and fires off a ton of kicks to a huge face reaction. They combine to get him a count of one before Show catches a kick and gets fired up again. The champ escapes the chokeslam and hits a chopblock.

There’s the cross armbreaker but Show is facing the mat to take away a lot of the pressure. It’s more like a LeBell Lock minus the crossface at this point. Show does the British Bulldog vs. Shawn Michaels short arm scissors counter to break it and is promptly booed. Show sets for the chokeslam but Ricardo jumps on him for the DQ at 8:40 shown of 12:10.

Rating: C. Not bad here but I’d question having the world champion get dominated like this. This match would have been a good place for someone like Christian. It’s a big enough match and I can understand why you don’t want to have Show lose before his title match, but you’re also making Del Rio look pretty weak going into his own title match. Show being a Giant makes that a bit less annoying though.

Mark Henry runs in post match and is DROPPED by the right hand from Big Show. He was on his feet in the ring for maybe a second and a half. Remember what I was saying about making your champion look weak?

Quick aside: if Show can knock someone out cold with a single punch, why would he do all that stuff like clubbing them in the back or trying to chokeslam them? Pop off one punch and win in like 12 seconds.

Overall Rating: B-. This was much better than last week but it still wasn’t all that great. One thing Smackdown has going for it right now and that it almost always has had is that it keeps things simple. It’s the best thing that they do as they don’t have anything complicated going on or anything that doesn’t make sense after you think about it for the span of 5 minutes. Also more than one ten minute match is a nice thing to see. As for Vengeance, not bad on the build but the show doesn’t need to exist and there’s no way around that.

Results
Mark Henry b. John Morrison – World’s Strongest Slam
Wade Barrett b. Daniel Bryan – Wasteland
Sheamus/Zack Ryder b. Christian/Dolph Ziggler – Brogue Kick to Ziggler
Sin Cara b. Sin Cara – La Mistica
Big Show b. Alberto Del Rio via disqualification when Ricardo Rodriguez interfered

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Smackdown
Date: October 14, 2011
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

We have our main event set for the PPV and in short, this has to be better than Raw. I mean, I don’t think it’s possible for it to actually be worse. Expect one of the final two remaining pushes to go to the PPV and probably more of Cody vs. Orton. Also with this show, allegedly this is the second longest running episodic television show in history or something, so I’ll set the over/under on mentions of that at 7,000. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the events with Show and Henry last week and Show beating up the champ. He has his title shot at Vengeance.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is being told I have to be somewhere at the very last second. Very annoying.

Here’s Teddy to open the show. Johnny Ace comes out too despite having no power on this show. Teddy says that to celebrate tonight, we’re having the largest battle royal in WWE history. The winner will get a title shot at any champion of his choosing tonight on Smackdown.

Battle Royal

There are 41 people in this and I’m not going to bother listing everyone off. Basically if they’re on the active roster, they’re in this. Cody Rhodes is the first person out. I’m really only going to list off people’s names as they’re out and I’ll only list big names. There’s almost no room to move in the ring so it’s almost impossible to see anything or call it. Striker is in there. We’re about two minutes in and only a handful of people are out.

O’Neil and Bateman are gone as is Striker. Booker: “I really thought Striker could do something special in this.” Cole: “Booker you’re an idiot.” Josh: “Everybody in the ring is in Booker’s Fave Five.” We take a break and the ring has cleared out a little bit. Josh says there are 32 people left in this so it’s still bigger than most Rumbles. Regal is gone. I don’t see Big Show out there but I don’t think he was there in the first place.

Morrison goes out with no theatrics and Ziggler is out immediately thereafter. The title match has to be against Henry or Del Rio. Some of the ring has cleared out a bit now and you can see some of the mat. Blue Cara wasn’t in this either for some reason. An Uso is out and we have 27 left. Orton and Punk fight which sounds like a very boring feud at this point. DiBiase and Kidd are out.

After a break we see Bryan tossed. You can see most of the people still in the match at this poitn. Mason Ryan puts out Hawkins and Reks at almost the same time. Miz and Truth have worked together almost the whole time. There go Drew and Gabriel as well as Ryan to get us down to 19. Of all people, Primo is still in there until Punk kicks his head off. We get some minor eliminations (Santino and Riley) before Swagger manages to dump Kofi. Rider is out too and we have about 13 or so.

Otunga is done and so is the other Uso. Sheamus puts out Jackson and is the only one standing. A big old Brogue Kick eliminates Slater to get us down to ten. Black Cara is powerbombed out as Sheamus has put out like 5 in a row. Christian tries a spear but gets caught in a high cross. That doesn’t work and there goes Captain Charisma. Punk puts out Truth but Miz puts out Punk but Sheamus Brogue Kicks Miz to the apron.

Ok so we’re down to Miz, Barrett, Orton, Christian, Swagger and Mahal. As I typed that Christian put Sheamus out. Punk and Truth are brawling on the floor and Orton puts out Barrett and Swagger. Mahal takes and RKO and is gone but Miz sneaks in and almost puts Orton out. They’re the final two. Orton starts up his finishing sequence but both finishers are countered. They go to the apron and slug it out and Orton is sent into the post. He manages to grab an RKO on the apron and wins at 15:50 shown of 19:20. Orton hit also but Miz clearly hit first.

Rating: C. This was a battle royal with a lot of people in it. I know a a lot of people don’t rate them and I find it very hard to do as well. There wasn’t really anything bad here and nothing was all that great either if that makes sense. It’s just a battle royal for the most part and there isn’t anything else to say.

Orton of course picks Henry.

Del Rio and Rodriguez are leaving but Teddy pops up. They say they’re leaving because Henry is defending tonight. Teddy says not so fast because he has to face Sheamus. Non-title I’d assume.

Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Kelly goes nuts to start but gets caught in a backbreaker out of the screaming headscissors. They’re the Sisters of Salvation now. Tornado DDT gets two as Booker says Kelly makes few mistakes in the ring. No wonder Andy hasn’t done anything yet in WWE. Kelly misses a charge and the Glam Slam ends this clean at 1:51. Remember when no one could beat Kelly? I don’t either.

Sin Cara vs. Justin Gabriel

It’s the blue one but in the back the black one jumps him and takes the mask. The black one takes his mask off and puts the blue one on after saying it’s his. Cole explains the backstory of Cara vs. Cara and while it makes sense, I’m not sure how great of a storyline it’s going to be with blue not being able to speak English. Cara (black in blue’s mask) takes over and dropkicks a jumping Gabriel down for two. Justin goes up again but gets dropped one more time and the Swanton ends this at 1:34.

Air Boom is with Teddy and Evan can’t wrestle due to the powerbomb from Swagger. Vickie comes in and demands a tag title match tonight. Teddy says no and here’s Rider to a big pop. He volunteers to replace Bourne and Vickie calls him the Little Woo Woo Woo Boy. The match is made.

Sheamus vs. Alberto Del Rio

Sheamus takes over early and hits the ten forearms to the chest. The fans are counting along with him now too. Alberto gets a shot in to the arm and let the psychology begin. The Codebreaker on the arm gets one. Sheamus fires back and I don’t think this is going to be very long. They’re moving way too fast for it to be a short one. There’s the Irish Curse backbreaker and that name is back on now. Sheamus goes up but Ricardo distracts the referee. Here’s Christian to shove Sheamus off the top and a kick to the head ends Sheamus at 3:55.

Rating: C. Not much here but while it lasted it was pretty good. They were in a rush and it hurt things but they were having a coherent match so it balances out pretty well. I think it’s better that they kept this short as these guys don’t seem like they would have had the best match in the world. This wasn’t bad but it was just kind of ok, which is primarily due to how fast they had to work.

Christian spears Sheamus post match. He gets up so Christian spears him again.

Vickie introduces her guys for the next match.

Kofi Kingston/Zack Ryder vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger

Ryder’s music now starts with Woo Woo Woo You Know It. Ryder vs. Swagger to start us off. Off to Ziggler who has a bit more luck. So is it Ryan or Rider that is going to be the #1 contender for Ziggy? Kofi gets the hot tag very quickly and he hits a bunch of dropkicks to take over. He loads up Trouble in Paradise but Ziggler rolls to the floor. Why would you roll to the floor with a member of a team called Air Boom in the ring? Kofi hits a dive to both heels as we take a break.

Back with Kofi in trouble thanks to some commercial interference by Vickie. Kofi takes him down eventually and there’s the hot tag to Rider. They’re flying through this match. The Broski Boot gets two on Ziggler. Rider gets a knee to the face but can’t hit the Rough Rider. Off to the sleeper but Rider sends him into the post shoulder first. Swagger breaks up the tag but when the referee is getting him out, Kofi kicks Dolph’s head off and Rider gets another pin at 7:07 shown of 10:37.

Rating: C-. Where is this going? I mean, they’ve been going on with this thing for weeks now and we’re at the same place: the champs or some variation of them never lose to Swagger and Ziggler (fairly that is) and Rider keeps pinning Ziggler. When are we getting somewhere with this? The match wasn’t that great either.

Sheamus tells another Irish story about Christian and it’s something about a bull being bitten by a troll.

Video on Show vs. Henry.

Smackdown World title: Mark Henry vs. Randy Orton

Henry is in trouble early but just shoves Randy away. Orton gets sent into the railing and his shoulder goes into the post. Henry works on the neck and kind of the shoulder so I can’t complain about that. Orton fights back and Henry just runs him over. An elbow gets two and we take a break. Powerslam gets two when we’re back. A splash gets two. This is really boring so far. A Vader Bomb misses and Orton starts his comeback….and here’s Cody for the DQ at 7:05 shown of 10:35.

Rating: D. This felt like the main event of a weak house show. It just wasn’t interesting and it didn’t do anything at all. I really was bored by this and I didn’t see anything at all in it. Orton gets beaten up and then we have the required run in because that’s how house show matches end right? Bad main event.

Show comes out for the save and chokeslams Henry again to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is by far the weakest Smackdown I’ve seen in months. I mean NOTHING interesting went down here. There’s a big battle royal and the top face wins it. Then the top face has a house show-style main event against a guy he was feuding with a few weeks ago. I have no idea what we gained on this show so just like with any other big milestone show, this was a disappointment.

Results
Randy Orton won a battle royal last eliminating The Miz
Beth Phoenix b. Kelly Kelly – Glam Slam
Sin Cara b. Justin Gabriel – Swanton Bomb
Alberto Del Rip b. Sheamus – Kick to the head
Kofi Kingston/Zack Rider b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler – Trouble in Paradise to Ziggler
Randy Orton b. Mark Henry via DQ when Cody Rhodes interfered

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 10, 2011
Location: Chesapeake Energy Center, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

This should be an interesting show as it’s after the walk out and we may only have about six guys (conveniently enough the top faces on the roster) and HHH to run things. There’s talk of something called a solidarity rally which I guess is their take on the Wall Street protests, which I’m sure will be laughed at because people complaining about business is bad right Vinny Mac? Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the walk out last week and I think it was the same one on Smackdown.

And we have no commentators. I’m not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing.

I guess he got the cameramen to agree with him as we go to the back and no one is there. HHH comes out of his office and looks around. He comes to the ring (with music) and talks about how everyone walked out last week. They walked out on the fans, not him. There’s a solidarity rally going on out back and they’re all in gear. HHH makes a good point by making fun of them for saying the show is too tough. They really do sound whiny out there with this argument.

He asks the fans if he should step down and he says no. HHH talks about how he’s never been a quitter and goes on a short rant about how he’ll never quit. He says he’ll wrestle a broomstick for two hours (Flair reference) and says it might give him a better match than some of those guys. There will be a show tonight, somehow.

Cue Cena who didn’t walk out last week. He’s very serious tonight and says there’s a reason he wasn’t walking out last week. Every person that walked out has personally asked him to join in the walk out. HHH never asked him to stay. HHH is the first boss for a lot of those guys so Cena runs down his bosses: Vince McMahon, Eric Bischoff, Vickie Guerrero, 56 guest hosts, a talking computer and Mike Adamle (“Now that was a real unsafe working environment.”) HHH is his boss and he’s staying.

Cena is staying because he loves the insanity. His loyalty is to the fans and when he wears the word loyalty on his shirt he means it. No matter what, he’s staying on Monday Night Raw. Cue Sheamus who talks about beating HHH up a year or so ago. He was young and trying to make a name for himself. Sheamus says that after that he got the worst beating of his life from HHH and he respects HHH for it. As corny as it sounds, that fits for Sheamus.

As for the big white dude, he’s not going anywhere because he didn’t come thousands of miles to be in a parking lot. Cue Punk with a mic. He says he can’t help but feel sorry….oh screw it yes he did start the whole thing. He made walking out look cool but now it looks stupid. Punk did it to prove a point and he had a great reason to do that. He talks about how someone doesn’t want him to be WWE Champion. Punk talks about how this is the place where differences between men are settled in a ring. This is professional wrestling, not ballet.

He talks about how he’ll deal with people personally (Calling Sheamus Shame-O and Cena the big boyscout). Punk asks the million dollar question: what do we do now? HHH says we do what we do on Raw: we shut up and fight. Tonight it’s Sheamus vs. John Cena. Since HHH is in something resembling stripes he’ll referee. Punk will be on commentary on his own and he can even wear HHH’s blazer. The look on Punk’s face cracked me up. Punk also has to ring the bell and wants double pay.

John Cena vs. Sheamus

They start with some basic back and forth stuff and we go to a fast commercial. Back with Sheamus countering the AA into a suplex for two……AND VINCE IS BACK! We saw all of 45 seconds of the match.

Vince asks the guys to leave so he can talk to HHH on his own. The fans chant you got fired. The guys not named HHH go to the back and Vince talks about how they’re all standing up for what they believe in. He mentions the Wall Street protests and actually doesn’t make fun of them. He’s on HHH’s side in this. Vince talks about how there are people that sympathize on both sides and some of the people that are on the walkers side is the board of directors.

The board isn’t sure what’s coming from this and it could mean anything up to the cancellation of anything from house shows to Raw to Wrestlemania. HHH is relieved of his duties. Neither him nor Vince nor any McMahon will be running Raw. The board is looking for a GM who is ethical. There will however be an interim GM and that’s Johnny Ace. Oh dear.

After a break, Ace brings in the guys again. Morrison of all people talks to him and tells Morrison he absolutely sucks. Morrison has to have a match right now against an unspecified opponent. Christian sucks up to Ace and for some reason is put into the match with Morrison. Ok then.

JR and the King come out for commentary. And so does Cole.

John Morrison vs. Christian

Christian has Ziggler, Rhodes and Swagger with them. Both guys are in street clothes. This is a nothing match for the most part as they hit each other a lot and then Ziggler distracts Morrison so that a spear can end this at 1:12.

All three other heels hit their finishers on Morrison post match. Swagger’s music plays them out. Odd choice.

Alberto vs. Punk (non-title) tonight.

Henry vs. Orton, also non-title later.

Wait. The five guys from the last segment were in street clothes. Didn’t HHH say everyone was in their gear? Consistency people.

Post break Ace is on the phone with his wife and HHH comes in. HHH stares him down and Ace tries to talk his way out of trouble. He talks about how he’s a company guy and was appointed just like HHH was. HHH threatens him and leaves.

Henry is in the ring and talks about Big Show. We get a video of Show vs. Henry including Henry getting beaten up on Friday. Show vs. Henry is official for Vengeance. Henry says Vengeance will be his. Orton’s voice comes over the speakers and says Vengeance will be his.

Mark Henry vs. Randy Orton

This is joined in progress after a break. Henry is overpowering Orton and JR calls him the Calculating Colossus. Oh dude….just no. A powerslam gets two but Henry misses an Earthquake drop and Orton takes over. A clothesline takes Henry down clean. Now that’s a high powered clothesline. Elevated DDT hits and here’s Cody Rhodes. He gets sent to the floor and Orton walks into the Slam. Orton escapes and hits the RKO but Cody runs in again for the DQ at 3:24 shown.

Rating: C. I’m not sure what you want me to say here as there wasn’t anything to this. Rhodes vs. Orton is a feud that hasn’t happened in full yet and now Rhodes is ready enough for it. Also getting Orton out of the title picture is probably a very good thing. Also it means the Cell ended a feud which is a good thing. Nothing to complain about here.

Post match Orton tries an RKO on Rhodes but gets shoved into the Slam. Henry leaves and Rhodes gives Orton CrossRhodes and bags him. Rhodes talks about cutting the head off the viper and asks if Randy wants a receipt with his paper bag and then laughs maniacally. Best laugh since DiBiase?

Rosa Mendes/Tamina vs. Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly

Kelly is all intense to start and she and Rosa botch the handspring elbow almost immediately with Rosa walking into the ring for the collision for some reason. Off to Tamina who gets beaten down by the weakest punches ever. Off to Eve and the fans go silent. Everything breaks down and Eve hits the moonsault for the pin at 2:14. This was one of the worst matches I’ve ever seen. I mean it was BAD.

Johnny Ace comes out during Eve and Kelly’s celebration and they leave. He talks about doing the ethical thing and asks JR to come into the ring. Ace fires him for being a hick ingrate. JR tips his hat and leaves immediately. Cole is elated.

Mason Ryan/Air Boom vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger/David Otunga

Bourne vs. Ziggler to start but Kofi is drawn in by the magnetic power of Dolph. Dolph is sent to the floor so Ryan throws him back in only for Kofi to clothesline him back out. A dive by Bourne takes him down also and we go to a break with a standoff. Bad match so far for the US Champ. Back with Kofi reversing Swagger and bringing in Ryan. Ryan uses his assortment of forearms and it’s back to Kofi.

Otunga comes in and slams Kofi a few times so it’s back to Dolph for a SWEET dropkick. Everything breaks down and Bourne gets caught in a HUGE powerbomb by Swags. Ryan picks up Ziggler and does the way too complex and long spinning release Rock Bottom for the pin at 8:30.

Rating: C-. I just couldn’t get into this at all. I really hope they don’t just bypass Ryder as the #1 contender for the US title because he’s big and muscled. Anyway, this was a match that was just ok but Ryan and Otunga added nothing to it at all. Pretty boring overall and I didn’t get into it.

Brodus Clay is still coming.

Time to waste some time on the trailer for John Cena’s newest movie which has a limited engagement next weekend. It’s an action comedy where Cena is a private investigator to get an inheritance.

Del Rio vs. Cena for the title at Vengeance.

Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk

This is non-title. They start off with a feeling out process until Punk pounds Del Rio down onto the floor. Del Rio takes over for a bit and they do a bunch of nothing for awhile. After about four minutes, here’s Johnny Ace to stop the match. It’s now a tag match with these two vs. Awesome Truth who are reinstated.

Awesome Truth vs. Alberto Del Rio/The Miz

Miz and Truth do another remix onto the ring. This is in progress after a break. Del Rio fights off both of the other two heels and it’s off to Punk. This is one of those boring matches where they mess around a bit as we’re waiting for the ending to get here already. Alberto fights them both off again and tags in Punk before limping up the crowd with the help of Ricardo.

Ok so now it’s a handicap match. Miz and Truth are really boring when they’re in control. Punk fights them off for awhile and even manages to hit the Macho elbow on Miz. He calls for the GTS on Miz…and then it’s a double beatdown leading to a double DQ at 8:00. The fans audibly and correctly groaned at that ending.

Rating: D. Whatever here man. This was nothing and I could barely pay attention to it at the end. The ending was the worst thing they could have done to it and they did it anyway. Bad match and I have no idea where this is going, although in this case I don’t particluarly care, which isn’t good.

HHH comes out for the save and they beat on Awesome Truth until they run.

Ace makes Punk/Truth vs. Awesome Truth for Vengeance.

Overall Rating: C-. I’m not sure what I thought of this show. You certainly can’t say nothing happened though. It had some twists and turns and not a lot of wrestling. Ace as the GM is probably the most logical thing at the moment…..somehow…..but that doesn’t make him any more interesting. I guess we put the Big Bad reveal on hold a little while longer as I’m starting to agree that this has no idea where it’s going. It’s like they tried to reset the whole thing tonight and while I think I can see the ending to this coming, it’s not getting here any faster and that’s not good.

Results
John Cena vs. Sheamus went to a no contest
Christian b. John Morrison – Spear
Randy Orton b. Mark Henry via DQ when Cody Rhodes interfered
Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres b. Rosa Mendes/Tamina – Moonsault to Mendes
Air Boom/Mason Ryan b. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger/David Otunga – Spinning release Rock Bottom to Ziggler
Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk went to a no contest
CM Punk/Alberto Del Rio b. Awesome Truth via DQ when Awesome Truth double teamed Punk

What is your favorite?

Mine would probably be Have A Nice Day.  It’s a great way of telling Foley’s story which is fascinating and having him do the writing was a great touch as he personalizes things so well.  It’s a fell good story too as it ends with him winning the title which was his dream growing up.

Your picks?