NXT
Date: May 10, 2011
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal

This is the tenth week and we still have no word on eliminations so I’m just going to forget about them now.  There’s nothing to note on this show other than the potential of this being the week when Novak fights Regal.  This would be the second week when that is supposed to happen so who knows.  Anyway let’s get to it.

Regal is in gear and apparently it’s his birthday.

Striker is back as a host here and brings out Maryse.  We get a clip of her getting beaten down by Kharma which means we see Kelly in those tiny white shorts which means I smile a bit.  I’m not sure if it’s just my video but the video is going in semi-fast forward.  Striker talks about the Redemption Points which Titus leads with 13.  Naturally this contest is worth six, making the previous few weeks completely pointless.

THERE IS AN ELIMINATION NEXT WEEK!!!!  THANK GOODNESS!!!  This is called King of the Hill and all you have to do is run up to the stage, grab a flag and come back to the ring and sound off an air horn.  Everyone goes at once so this takes like 15 seconds.  The fast forward thing makes it even funnier.  Titus wins, giving him 19 total points with second being something like 7.  Titus gets on the mic and says he doesn’t know where Horny is and no one else does.  He accuses Young of knowing something about it and says if Young doesn’t admit it he’ll beat it out of him.

Darren Young vs. Titus O’Neil

Look at these fresh matches NXT is giving us!  They’re still in fast motion here and the times will be just in seconds as I don’t know what else to do.  Young tries to leave but Titus pulls him back, shouting WHERE IS HE.  Young takes over and works on the arm.  I’m not sure if the sound is sped up also or not.  Chavo criticizes Young, saying he wasn’t known in the first season of NXT.  Did no one watch the show?

Some forearms get two for Young.  Crowd flat out does not care.  An electric chair gets Titus out of trouble and gets a gasp from the crowd for some reason.  Chavo again denies that he took Horny as a powerslam gets two for Titus.  A few seconds later a rollup ends Titus, giving him his first loss at 5:22

Rating: C-. Boring match that the fans didn’t really seem to care about.  Titus is clearly being pushed as the megastar of this season but they have him lose to a guy like Young.  I really don’t get that but I’m sure it makes sense in Vince’s mind.  That would of course imply that Vince knew this show existed, so we’ll go with it makes no sense.

Kozlov and O’Brian (sans mustache) do some sambo which O’Brian isn’t that good at.

Conor O’Brian vs. Byron Saxton

They’re still moving in fast motion.  I refreshed my browser and all that jazz so I’m guessing the production guys want this show to be over even more than I do.  O’Brian works on the arm for a bit as Regal says Cannon is in the lead in his eyes.  He’s making people notice him which makes sense.

The crowd flat out does not care and there’s nothing at all going on.  Regal points out the lack of fire in the guys too so it’s probably one of them going home next week.  O’Brian stays on offense the majority of the time here and puts on a stepover toehold.  Saxton fights back with a downward stunner and a bulldog type move before a middle rope elbow to the chin ends this at 4:57.

Rating: D-. Regal was right: there was nothing of note here at all.  They flat out didn’t care and there’s no reason at all to care about any of these people.  Cannon is the only one that gets a reaction as Titus gets pops because of the leprechaun and that’s about it.  Boring match all around and the lack of charisma by everyone shows through really badly here.

Saxton goes even more heel by saying Tatsu is too stupid to get that he doesn’t want him as his pro anymore.

Cannon gives Maryse a nice purse and she likes him now.  There’s your romance triangle this season.

Smackdown Rebound is about Christian and Orton from Friday.

We recap Regal vs. Novak, which is old school vs. new school for the most part.

William Regal vs. Jacob Novak

Novak has a little Grandmaster Sexay going on.  Novak represents the 3 S’s: street, skills and style.  JTG is heel now apparently and he makes fun of country music to prove it.  Regal sends him to the floor with relative ease.  Crowd cheers for Regal louder than they have for everything else all night.  Elbow in the corner sends Regal to the floor where JTG adds a dropkick.

Novak takes over and a knee lift gets two.  We hit the chinlock for awhile as we talk about the elimination a bit.  Clothesline puts Regal down again.  Striker talks about how good Novak is and I keep wondering what these people are talking about when they say that.  Back to the chinlock which doesn’t last as long.  Regal fights back and takes over with relative ease and the Regal Stretch ends this at 6:20.

Rating: C. Well I think we all knew that was the ending, especially given that Regal was turning 43 today.  Not much of a match but having an actual story really helped this as they had built it up to the point where you wanted Regal to show Novak who the master was out there and that’s exactly what you got.  Can’t ask for more than that.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event was by far and away better than anything else, but other than the announcement that we’re FINALLY getting to an elimination, nothing really happened here.  Horny is missing and after about 8 minutes that wasn’t mentioned again.  Oh and Maryse can be bought with purses.  Other than that, we have nothing here but thankfully someone (please O’Brian!) is gone next week.

Results

Titus O’Neil won the King of the Hill Challenge

Darren Young b. Titus O’Neil – Rollup

Byron Saxton b. Conor O’Brian – Middle rope elbow

William Regal b. Jacob Novak – Regal Stretch

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 9, 2011
Location: Thompson-Boling Arena, Knoxville, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

We’re two weeks away from Over the Limit and unless I’m overlooking it there aren’t any matches officially made.  After the previous week’s birthday party for Rock we can finally get back to the regular stuff on Monday nights.  I’d bet on more with Miz and Cena as Miz can say he got a pinfall on Cena in a title match as a validation for another match.  Let’s get to it.

Here’s Alberto to open the show.  He says that he should be champion but Edge stole it from him.  Why did we waste so much time on Rock last week?  It should have been a celebration of the arrival of Alberto.  He says he should get the title shot so here’s Rey to offer a rebuttal.  He says Alberto will one day be Ricardo’s announcer.  Is that even an insult?  Rey wants a match tonight for the #1 contendership.

Alberto starts to talk but Miz and Riley come out to interrupt.  Miz blames Riley for losing the title last week but Alberto says that was his chance.  Miz says he got the job done but the referee was prejudiced.  He makes a Taco Bell joke which will probably get him criticized for making racial remarks because people are stupid.  Truth comes out to no music and talks about…..hospital food?

Ah apparently it’s due to Morrison having a neck injury and being out for months for neck surgery.  Truth gets in all their faces and calls Miz Kermit, Mysterio bottle-nosed and Alberto a pompous Mexican fence jumper.  “When an angry black man is talking y’all need to shut it up.”  Something about kicking dogs and cats is mentioned but long story short, Truth wants the title shot.  E-Mail says we’re going to have a triple threat match between Miz, Alberto and……we get another E-Mail to announce that the third man is Rey Mysterio.

Truth doesn’t like it and Mysterio wants Truth in the match which he says means he agrees with the GM.  Did I miss something there?  Anyway Miz says the next WWE Champion is…..but he can’t finish as Ricardo cuts him off and says Ricardo.  RICARDO DROPKICKS RILEY!!!  Miz hits the floor and Rey dives on Ricardo to end this segment as we take a break.

Bella Twins vs. Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres

I think that’s Brie vs. Kelly to start us off.  The Bellas double team her for two.  Apparently Cena gets to pick the stipulation for the title match at the PPV.  Kelly gets a headscissors to take down Nikki and spanks her a bit.  Small package by Brie (I think) is reversed into one by Kelly for the pin at 1:25.  We get to the point quickly as Kharma comes out.  The Bellas try to sneak off and manage to get by.  Eve tries to jump Kharma and gets left laying via a slam.  Kelly runs off and it’s an Implant buster for Eve.

Kane vs. Mason Ryan next.

Kane vs. Mason Ryan

Punk and Show are here with their respective people.  Ryan shoves him around with ease to start us off.  Kane fires away and knocks him into the corner but gets his head taken off with a clothesline.  We go WAY old school with an Oklahoma Stampede for two.  Punk distracts Kane so Show kills him dead with the punch.  McGillicutty and Otunga run in for the DQ at 2:14.  Double chokeslam to Ryan and the tall guys stand…..well tall.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Santino Marella

Dolph is all evil and orange here as he beats down Santino quickly.  After a quick beatdown Santino gets some offense in but a dropkick takes him down as he loads up the Cobra.  Zig Zag ends this in 1:40.

We actually get a Smackdown Rebound for the first time in forever.  It’s of Christian having his moment as champion and losing the title that night to Orton.

Truth is about to leave and calls conspiracy.  Apparently he’s been getting letters asking him to sing and dance again.  His eyes are bugging out of his head as he says this.  There’s a country accent thrown in and there’s no more, because that’s the Truth.  He leaves but comes back to get the interviewer to say What’s Up and then leaves.

Cena fist pumps with Ryder and heads to the ring.

We get a recap of the title match last week and Riley costing Miz the title.  Miz yells at Riley all over again.  He calls Riley a troglodyte and says he’s stupid.  Riley says he’ll make it up to Miz so watch this.

Riley walks down the hall and out into the arena.  Did Cena get lost on his way to the ring?  Riley says the only person that he cares about is the Miz.  He challenges Cena to a match and here’s the champ.

John Cena vs. Alex Riley

Very pro-Cena crowd tonight.  Cena takes Riley down with ease and then does it again.  A charge misses in the corner though and Riley gets a clothesline for two.  Chinlock goes on by Riley but Cena starts up his ending sequence.  A pair of AA’s as Miz comes out sets up the STF to end this at 3:12.

Rating: D. Just a squash here but Riley actually got in some offense.  Total dominance by Cena but did you really expect anything else?  I’m not sure how this proves anything to Miz but I guess Riley’s heart was in the right place.  Nothing else to say here so I’ll keep typing a bit to fill in space.

Cole announces his retirement from in ring competition.  Lawler comes in and wants a clip of the beatdown from Rock last week.  Cole talks about going into the Hall of Fame and Lawler says if Cole can beat Lawler again, he’ll give Cole his HOF ring and induct Cole into the Hall of Fame.  Cole turns it down in a bit of a surprise.

Cole gets in the Cole Mine and makes fun of Tennessee.  His mind was made up yesterday about his retirement because it was Mother’s Day.  Cole flew his mother into Texas and they watched Cole beat him at Mania.  Lawler wouldn’t be able to spend Mother’s Day with his mom because his mom died in February.  Lawler storms the Cole Mine but Swagger makes the save as we take a break.

US Title: Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston

Technical stuff to start here as Cole imitates breaking news to say that Lawler is in pain.  Swagger gets sent to the floor but gets a shot to Kofi, sending him to the floor as we take a break.  Back with Swagger sending Kofi into the corner, only to get knocked backwards.  Running knee to the gut takes Kofi down again though.

Vader Bomb eats knees but Trouble in Paradise misses.  Top rope cross body gets two.  Kofi tries to skin the cat (why is it called that anyway?) but Swagger grabs the ankle.  Kofi tries a tornado DDT but gets shoved off and the ankle gives out.  Lawler comes out and the distraction is enough for Trouble in Paradise to end this at 8:23 total.

Rating: C. Just your standard match between these two which was fine.  They’ve wrestled each other a few hundred times now so they can probably have a passable match in their sleep.  Lawler coming down is fine as it plays into the bigger angle.  Fine for a TV match and that’s all it needed to be.

Post match Lawler sends Swagger into the post and then the crowd and goes to the Cole Mine but can’t get in.  Lawler throws a chair into the Mine but settles for reaching into the glory hole to grab the tie.  He pulls the tie, ramming Cole’s head into the wall time after time.  Cole’s face all stuck up against the wall had me dying from laughter.  Swagger says Lawler is fired but Lawler says he just touched his tie.  Swagger accepts the match for Cole which he isn’t happy with.

Video about the premiere of That’s What I Am, which apparently is being well received.

The Miz vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio

Winner gets Cena at Over the Limit.  No Riley with Miz.  Standard formula here as we have two guys go at it while the third is down.  The bad guys fight in the ring and Miz escapes the cross armbreaker.  Rey comes back in and gets a sunset flip for two on Del Rio.  Miz vs. Mysterio now but Del Rio breaks up the 619.  Rey gets sent to the floor by Alberto so Miz tries the Skull Crushing Finale.  That misses and a double clothesline puts everyone down as we take a break.

Back with Alberto kicking Miz back to the floor so he can work on Mysterio some more.  After more of a beating on Rey, Miz pulls the rope down to send Del Rio to the floor.  Sunset flip doesn’t hit and Rey hits a kick to the head for two.  They all go to the floor with Rey diving on Alberto to take him down.  Alberto and Rey go back into the ring and Rey speeds things up again and takes him down with a headscissors.

Miz pops back up and heads up top, only to get crotched.  Rollup gets two on Alberto.  Sweet top rope rana by Rey to Miz but he gets caught in the Codebreaker to the arm and the Cross Armbreaker.  Miz breaks it up and gets rolled up for two.  DDT gets two on Alberto.  Finale is blocked by Rey and Miz hits the floor again.  Riley comes back out to help Miz as Del Rio can’t powerbomb Rey.  619 to Alberto sets up the top rope splash but Riley makes the save.  Miz runs in with a rollup to get the pin on Rey at 13:45 total.

Rating: C+. This was your usual run of the mill triple threat match to start but at the end they cranked it up and with another 3 minutes or so this would have been very good.  Miz winning probably makes the most sense so you can’t really complain about him winning.  Good stuff here and good to see Miz keep his main event spot for the time being.

Cena picks an I Quit match for the PPV.

Back in the ring Truth pops up to lay out Mysterio to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. I liked this show a lot.  While the matches were short, a lot of stuff happened tonight and with a short amount of time before the PPV, that’s exactly what they needed here.  There are still questions about what’s coming for the PPV which makes me want to see what’s next on the show.  Good stuff all around tonight as there was an energy tonight that we haven’t had in awhile.  Much better show than the last few weeks.

Results

Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres b. Bella Twins – Small Package to Brie

Kane b. Mason Ryan via disqualification when Nexus ran in

Dolph Ziggler b. Santino Marella – Zig Zag

John Cena b. Alex Riley – STF

Kofi Kingston b. Jack Swagger – Trouble in Paradise

The Miz b. Alberto Del Rio and Rey Mysterio – Rollup to Mysterio

Smackdown
Date: May 6, 2011
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida=
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

We’re out of Extreme Rules now and it’s time to get ready for Over the Limit.  Christian has finally won a world title and is here tonight for his first night on the show as champion.  Other than that we’re also officially in the new era of Smackdown with the Draft picks officially being on the show tonight.  I’d assume we’ll start building to the next PPV tonight.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a video of Christian and his career leading up to the world title win on Sunday.  Think that’ll be a theme tonight?

Here’s Christian with the title and of course Cole runs his mouth to make sure the moment isn’t focused on him at all.  I get that you can talk, but there are moments you’re not supposed to talk during.  Cole needs to get this through his head QUICK.  Christian says that he needs to do something and he holds up the title over his head in a pretty cool visual.

It feels great to be champion and he’s worked seventeen years to get here.  Edge sent him a text message saying to enjoy the moment because he earned it.  Christian starts crying a bit and thanks Edge and talks about the Peeps, thanking them for being there all the way for them.  As he’s talking, Mark Henry of all people comes out to interrupt him.

Henry was cheering for him the entire time because he knew he could take the title from him easily.  Henry is getting a main event push?  Must have been two years since he got his last one.  Christian says the belt isn’t made of chocolate.  Edge isn’t here to protect him anymore.  Before he gets anything else out though, here’s Khali to interrupt also.  Singh says Khali says the champion should be someone that has been through stuff like you have in the jungle, like the Great Khali.

Christian talks about Khali being in a tutu on Raw and here’s Orton to a MONSTER pop.  He wants his name thrown into the hat for a title shot.  Here’s Teddy to settle things.  The decision is up to the WWE Universe to pick who gets the title match.  Considering Teddy has to stop for a Randy chant I think the outcome is obvious.  Teddy says Orton wins the poll and the match is TONIGHT.

Back with Singh telling Khali that he’ll get another title match.  They run into Jinder Mahal again who speaks some English this time, saying that things will get better now that he’s here.  Khali leaves and Singh talks to Mahal (towers over Singh) in English.  Mahal isn’t happy with the tutu Khali was in on Sunday.  He comes off as a cocky heel.

Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

Sheamus grabs a headlock takeover to start and the beating starts early.  Bryan sends him to the floor and a suicide dive takes down the human jar of mayonnaise.  This is another basic power vs. speed match and there’s nothing wrong with that in the slightest.  Backbreaker hits as we take a break.  Back with Sheamus holding an armbar the smaller dude.

With Bryan in the ropes Sheamus pounds away as other than that big dive this has been totally one sided.  Shoulder block gets two.  Superplex doesn’t work and a dropkick puts Sheamus down and gives Bryan a chance to breathe.  Well Sheamus’ song does talk about fighting for air so Bryan is just following the instructions Sheamus’ theme music gave him.  Big kick to the head gets two for Bryan.

Double axe puts Bryan back down but the Razor’s Edge (screw the actual name of it as Cole changes it every five matches) is countered into a LeBell Lock which is too close to the rope.  Sheamus hits the floor and Bryan tries the suicide dive again.  In a nice bit of psychology, Sheamus catches him with a Brogue Kick.  Another in the ring and we’re done at 5:35 shown of 9:05.

Rating: B. Good match here as the power vs. speed stuff was working very well indeed.  The psychology at the end there was a very nice touch and something you don’t see enough of in WWE.  With Sheamus learning as the match goes on and drawing on experience from earlier he counters the second attempt.  Nice touch there with the brawler beating the thinking wrestler by out thinking him.

Here’s Cody Rhodes in a suit.  I love the headlines on the screen of him being disfigured and losing his mind because of it.  The people with the bags are here with him.  The lights are off other than a spotlight on Cody.  Rey has injured him again with the mist from Sunday.  Cody talks about how he forced Rey to expose himself….somehow.  His eyes are still burning but even through burning eyes he can see that everyone here is still ugly.  The bags go out, including to a good looking blonde.  The bags may offend you, but the people’s faces disgust him.  He’s awesomely into this character and it’s great.

We get a quick recap of the bonus tag title match on Sunday with Jackson dominating the entire time until Barrett tried to get the glory.

Big Show vs. Ezekiel Jackson

Show is on Raw but he’s a tag champion so he can be on both shows.  All of the Corre is here with Jackson.  Kane comes out to even the odds a bit because those two vs. Corre has gone SO well in the past right?  We ring the bell after a break which helps my timing a lot.  Well I’d assume it rang just as we came back as they don’t seem to have done much but were locked up when we came back.  Hindrances all around.

Show uses technical stuff of all things and gets a front facelock.  Jackson is like screw that and backdrops Show with ease.  Jackson rams into Show and a slam gets two.  Off to a chinlock as I think Jackson has a minor hernia.  Suplex gets Show out of the hold as this is better than it sounds.  Show fires off some clotheslines to set up the chokeslam.  Corre tries to get involved but Kane fights them off….kind of.  Everything breaks down into a brawl until we get back into the ring.  Jackson gets a boot and a big clothesline for the pin at 3:32 shown.

Rating: C+. Not bad here as the battle of the big men worked pretty well here I thought.  Jackson’s power is scary stuff as he was throwing Show around even better than Cena does and almost at the level Lesnar was.  I probably overrated this but this was one of the better battles of the big men I’ve seen in awhile.

Jackson leaves on his own, much like Ryan did on Raw.

Time for the Raw portion of the show as we get the same video from NXT on Rock’s birthday.  That I’m Coming Home song would be far better if Diddy wasn’t in it at all.  Eats up four minutes.

Layla vs. Alicia Fox

I’m not complaining about Fox’s hips that have a mind of their own, but what exactly is she supposed to be?  Layla is still trying this face turn so I guess this is her debut on the light side of the Force.  And never mind as the Layout ends this in 52 seconds.  As eventful as it sounds.  There was some standing around, some lockups, some more standing around, a shoulder to the ribs in the corner and the neckbreaker.  You put the order together yourselves.

Kharma comes out post match and ends Alicia with a clothesline, apparently legit injuring her.  Nothing to Layla as her smorgasbord of heels continues.  No one bet on that one so points for a surprise I guess.  Layla had the sense to RUN AWAY unlike Kelly who just sat there.  Alicia actually tried hitting her.  Oh yeah Alicia landed right on her shoulder there.  Implant Buster finishes this.

In the back Corre comes up to Jackson and they aren’t happy.  Barrett says look at him and Jackson drills him.  The numbers eventually catch up to him and the beatdown is on.  Chair to the…..uh…..somewhere from Barrett is finally enough to slow him down.  They shove what looks like a big laundry basket on him and leave him laying, out cold.

Chavo is on commentary for the next match.

Sin Cara vs. Tyson Kidd

He nails the entrance this time.  They do the lights thing again for this match.  Chavo sounds like he’s gearing up for a feud with Cara.  Cara is moving too fast to call every thing.  A double revolution rana sends Kidd to the floor where Kidd takes over for a bit.  Cara is like screw this and fires off some kicks and a Tajiri elbow.  Springboard cross body gets two.  Chavo says Cara is stealing most of these moves from him.  Kidd gets in a kick and tries what looks to be a tornado DDT, but gets caught in the C4 from the top to end this at 2:48.

Rating: C+. FAR better than his Raw stuff as either the lack of being live or the editing makes Cara look about 20x better.  Probably too short to grade but they’re my ratings so who cares?  They got a ton of stuff in here and it felt a lot longer than it was, but in a good way.  Chavo is a good guy to put him with as he knows lucha libre and can probably keep up with Cara for the most part.  Good match and Cara’s best yet by far.

Chavo stares Cara down post match and shakes his hand.

Video on the anti-bullying campaign from Raw.  Yes, we get it.  Bullying is bad.  I’m so fed up with it that I want to go beat up a 9 year old and take his lunch money.

Teddy says it’s fair for Christian to defend the title tonight because it’s what the fans want.  Also Orton had a last man standing match on Raw and Cena defended the title just one day after Raw.  Both good points.  Long says that it’s his job to make Smackdown unpredictable.  Foreshadowing of a new style on Fridays perhaps?

Smackdown World Title: Randy Orton vs. Christian

This show has flown by it seems.  Regarding Christian’s pop, in the words of Riddler from Batman Forever, “Your entrance was good, his was better.”  Headlock by Orton to start but Christian gets a shoulder for two.  Orton hammers away and the crowd eats it up with a spoon like soup or Jello or pork or other things eaten with a spoon.  The champ sends him to the floor and gets a delayed baseball slide to take Orton down, only to be taken down as well as we take a break.

Back in the ring with Orton in total control.  Orton works on the ribs and gets a reverse waistlock (looks like he’s about to hit a German) which looks like the cover of a very freaky Christmas card.  They hit the floor via a Cactus Clothesline by Orton as we take break #2.  Back with Christian holding a chinlock for only a few seconds.  Orton gets a belly to back and both guys are down.

They slug it out a bit and Orton hits that gorgeous dropkick to put Christian down.  He goes all psycho but Christian gets the pendulum kick in the corner and a middle rope missile dropkick for two.  Guillotine over the top sets up a cross body off the top for two for Christian.  Fans are way into this.  Middle rope elbow (love that move still) hits and let the clapping begin!

For some reason Christian charges at him and gets caught by a powerslam for two.  Christian slides to the floor to try a right hand to Randy as he’s in a 619 position but Orton avoids it to hit the elevated DDT for two.  Angle Slam is countered into a reverse DDT for two.  Slam hits this time and it’s RKO time.  Since it’s the first attempt it’s countered as is the Killswitch.  Christian goes to the middle rope and tries a spinning something off of it, proving why he’s an idiot as YOU DON’T JUMP AT ORTON!  RKO ends the 5 day reign at 10:08 shown of 17:08.

Rating: B. Good match here and Christian definitely looked strong throughout.  People are going to complain about the reign looking bad due to it being too short, but at the same time he had two matches and this was by far the weaker one and this was a very good TV match.  Orton is a far bigger star and Christian got the reign that everyone wanted him to get.  The fanboys will be up in arms over it, but you have to just ignore them as they’ll never be pleased.  He got his title, he got his moment, he had two great matches and lost it.  No harm no foul in my eyes.

Christian leaves the ring to an ovation and looks like he’s forced to retire.  Pretty sad moment but it’s not like he’s leaving forever.  He lost clean.  The shot of him going into the back ends the show.

Overall Rating: B. Two good matches, some storyline developments and a new world champion make this hard to go against.  A lot of the matches were short but a nice long main event more than makes up for it.  They didn’t really have things in neutral but with such a short turn around before the next PPV I’m not sure they can do anything but Christian vs. Orton II at Over the Limit.  Still though, very solid show as Smackdown looks good going forward.

Results

Sheamus b. Daniel Bryan – Brogue Kick

Ezekiel Jackson b. Big Show – Clothesline

Layla b. Alicia Fox – Layout

Sin Cara b. Tyson Kidd – Top rope C4

Randy Orton b. Christian – RKO

NXT
Date: May 3, 2011
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal

We’re here for week 9 I think of this season and tonight we get the blowoff (I guess) to one of the season’s biggest angles (kind of) as Regal faces Novak.  I’d bet on seeing a lot about last night’s Raw and in particular the birthday party for Rock.  Something tells me this is going to be more of the same stuff we’ve seen all season long, which means this show will just kind of be there.  Let’s get to it.

Theme song talks about the theme of the show in a musical format.

Darren Young vs. Chavo Guerrero

Horny is guest referee for no apparent reason.  Titus is on commentary for no apparent reason.  I’m having some connection issues here so there’s a chance this is going to be spotty at times.  I’ll do my best though.  Horny checks every bit of Young’s attire including his hair.  Apparently he has an illegal boot so Darren has to fight in one boot.  Horny stomps on his foot and we’re ready to go.

Titus and Regal debate the merits of wrestling barefoot which is just weird to hear from Titus.  He has a VERY deep voice that almost makes him hard to understand but once you get used to that he’s well spoken and makes some decent points.  Chavo dominates to start with basic stuff and throws on an armbar.  And there goes my feed.  Back with Chavo “hitting” a dive to the floor and by that I mean he mostly crashed and his leg hit Young.  We take an actual break after that.

Back after maybe 10 seconds with another armbar by Chavo.  We hit the floor again as my feed continues to be choppy.  I’m sorry about this guys but we’re having some weather issues here tonight.  Young takes over and fires Chavo into the ring, only to get caught by right hands.  Young gets a cover and Horny won’t count at a regular speed for him.  Regal is in wrestling gear at ringside.

Darren gets in the face of Titus for a bit as Horny still won’t count.  Young keeps pounding away and we hit the chinlock.  Chavo gets a sweet dropkick and a headscissors to take over a bit.  Horny counts for him but gets knocked down on a reversed suplex so he can’t count a Northern Lights Suplex for Young.  And Horny bites Young on what’s about eye level for him, setting up Three Amigos and the Frog Splash to end this at 9:15.  I missed roughly a minute and a half of that if you’re curious.

Rating: C-. What I saw of this was pretty dull as it was Young using his very basic offense on Chavo while Horny wouldn’t count at all.  Not much of a match but it was a god idea of course to have a guy like Chavo out there to help him as he’s going to be fine out there with his basic stuff as always.  That’s what he did here and the majority of what this had is attributed to Chavo as Young is just dull overall.

We see O’Brian and Kozlov talking earlier today about Kozlov saying O’Brian needs special skills.  Kozlov demonstrates his special skills by breaking a board over his head.  O’Brian does the same but might need a doctor.

Conor O’Brian vs. Lucky Cannon

O’Brian grabs a headlock to start as it’s a feeling out process.  Let the boringness begin here as there’s nothing of note going on.  Cannon puts on a headscissor choke as we’re just waiting to get to the end of the match.  O’Brian is a guy that would do FAR better in an old school system as he could develop a character in indy companies and then come back to WWE a few years later.  The problem is he has nothing at all that distinguishes him from any generic wrestler.  Anyway, O’Brian makes a small comeback but Kidd interferes and the reverse FU/Death Valley Driver ends it at 4:11.

Rating: F+. Conor manages to bring down another decent guy on this show.  I don’t know what they see in him other than he’s managing to be the dullest character of all time.  Actually that would imply he has a character.  The thing with him is his in ring stuff isn’t terrible.  It’s not good but it’s passable I guess.  He has zero character or charisma though and I don’t want to watch him in the slightest which is the worst thing you can say about a wrestler.

We recap the Kharma thing last night to explain why Maryse isn’t here.  Anything that lets me see Kelly in those shorts is a good thing.

Saxton comes up to Yoshi and apologizes for attacking him last week.  He wants to fix their relationship but Yoshi cuts him off, saying he needs to check on Maryse.  Saxton says that’s enough and he’s on his own now.

William Regal vs. Jacob Novak

It’s 10:30 and this is your main event, meaning we’re getting a LONG Rock video to end it.  Striker is on commentary for this.  Novak tries to talk like JTG and my head hurts.  He says that Regal is just an announcer so he means nothing.  Novak is going to make him famous.  Just….no.  Regal calls JTG a Muppet so the match is switched.

William Regal vs. JTG

Oh joy.  Basic match to start as Regal does what he can with the jobber heel (I guess?).  Regal sends him to the floor and JTG stalls.  Back in Novak cheats and it does nothing.  About three minutes have passed already and there’s just nothing to say about this match because there’s almost no point to these two fighting.  Regal gets the knee trembler and Novak runs in for the DQ at 6:00.

Rating: D-. I know I shortchanged this match but at the same time I just did not care.  There’s no reason for these two to fight and yet they did it anyway.  The match was boring beyond belief the entire time and the ending just keeps this going even longer.  Novak NEEDS a match with a guy like Regal because it’s kind of interesting actually.  Instead a jobber lost to Regal by DQ.  Terrible main event to a terrible show.

We get a long recap video of last night’s Raw set to a combination of I’m Coming Home by Diddy Dirty Money and Pitbull’s song.  We also see Cole getting beat up.

Overall Rating: F. This was the worst show this season and possibly this entire series has had ever.  The matches were weak, the main event which has had a decent build didn’t happen and nothing interesting happened in the slightest.  This season just needs to end as nothing of note is going on here anymore at all.  There’s no sense of competition and there’s no sense of this ending anytime soon.  It’s like we’re on a treadmill with this show and that’s really getting annoying.  I had zero desire to watch this after about five minutes in and that really does not happen to me when I’m watching wrestling.  Terrible, terrible show.

Results

Chavo Guerrero b. Darren Young – Frog Splash

Lucky Cannon b. Conor O’Brian – Fireman’s carry into a mat slam

William Regal b. JTG via disqualification when Jacob Novak interfered

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 2, 2011
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Jerry Lawler

It’s the Rock’s birthday tonight and the Great One is on Raw.  We also have a new WWE Champion as Cena ended Miz’s title reign last night at Extreme Rules.  With just three weeks before Over the Limit they’re kind of in a hurry to get to the buildup for the next PPV.  Also tonight is a dual branded show so the Smackdown crew is here, including the new World Heavyweight Champion, Christian.  Also given the news with Osama bin Laden last night you can almost guarantee some patriotic themed stuff.  Let’s get to it.

The show opens with a video about 9/11 and how bin Laden is dead.  That just makes you smile a little bit.  We get a clip of the 9/13 show which is still pretty awesome.  Lillian Garcia is here to sing the National Anthem.  Still incredible.

Here’s your theme song as performed by a Canadian band.

Miz vs. Cena for the title tonight.

Screw that though: here’s Rock to open the show, naturally in the flag Brahma Bull shirt.  Talk about being on top of the world: his movie DESTROYED everyone else at the box office this week and the bin Laden capture, his birthday, and he’s currently penciled in for a world title shot at Wrestlemania.  Not bad.  He looks rather happy to be here and emotional at the same time.

After a very lengthy entrance it’s time to talk.  Finally he’s back home.  Before he gets started though, he has one thing to say: WE GOT HIM!  He thanks the troops and leads the crowd in the Pledge of Allegiance.  Rock talks about growing up in Miami and being in school here, including a picture of him with a mustache and small afro.  “Laugh at it all you want but that face devoured more pie than King Kong Bundy in a Polish bakery.”

Now it’s time for college, where he was a Hurricane for The U (his words).  He talks about how awesome the university was and back in the day, that place was the best football school on the planet.  Awesome academic school also.  Rock says story time is over and it’s time to party.  There’s an e-mail but Rock cuts Cole off, saying if you have a message for the Rock, say it to his face.

Various insults follow and Cole says he’s a man now.  He’s a winner and says he associates himself with winners.  Cole takes his jacket and shirt off, revealing a Boston Celtics jersey, which is the team the Miami Heat are playing in the playoffs.  The ironic part of this is Miami is up 1-0 so Garnett isn’t even a winner at the moment.  Cole says he’ll deliver the message to Dwayne’s face.

The GM wants an apology due to Rock embarrassing the GM at Mania or the party is shut down.  Cole wants one also for all of the embarrassments over the years.  Rock agrees, and apologizes, somehow managing to draw boos from this crowd.  Rock’s handshake is very slowly accepted but Rock isn’t pleased with the jersey.  Rock says Go Heat and it’s a Rock Bottom for Cole.  With the U hand signal here’s the People’s Elbow.

Rock’s music starts but he cuts it off.  He brings out someone named Pitbull who is apparently a rapper from Miami.  The fans seem to be into him.  He performs a song and the Miami Heat dancers come out to perform with him.

Morrison vs. Truth up next.

LeBron James and Dwayne Wade say happy birthday Rock.  Ok that’s kind of a big deal.

John Morrison vs. R-Truth

JR has replaced Cole (ten weeks of a rotating commentary team in a row) on commentary.  Truth jumps Morrison during his entrance and sends him head first into the floor.  Morrison has allegedly injured his neck as referees carry him out.  He walks out but is going very slowly.  No match.  Truth jumps him again and gives him another Downward Spiral with Morrison’s head coming nowhere near the stage on the impact.

Jimmy Kimmel wishes Rock a happy birthday and we get an oily men in underwear reference. Also there’s candy in his pants.  You figure the joke out yourself.

Kelly Kelly vs. Maryse

Kelly looking GOOD tonight.  And never mind as Kharma comes out after about 10 seconds.  Kelly had taken Maryse down already and then just sat there for like 40 seconds as Kharma came down.  She deserves to die them.  Implant Buster to Maryse as Kharma just leaves Kelly alone.  No match again.

Miz yells at Riley for not being there last night.  He’s late tonight due to the crowd of people for Rock’s birthday.  Riley better be there tonight.

Paul Walker says happy birthday to the Rock and makes some bad Cena references.  He does call him Fruity Pebbles though.

Samuel L. Jackson says happy birthday and says Rock is from another planet.  Planet 51 perhaps?  He would run through a lion’s den with steak underwear on.  Wow indeed.

Rock is with the Divas and talks about singing happy birthday to Michelle Obama.  There’s a bit party going on in the back and various people make cameos.  Kozlov has a movie script for him and Santino comes up as….oh ok it’s Rock’s character from Fast 5.  Horny runs in as the Scorpion King.  He has a tooth ache apparently, so……oh sweet merciful goodness here’s Khali in a pink tooth fairy dress with wings and a tiara.  He says you can’t handle the tooth.  Ron Simmons pops up and there’s only one thing to say.  Cute comedy segment but that dress is going to haunt my nightmares.

Cena vs. Miz next.

Steve Carrell wishes Rock a forced (literally) happy birthday.  He says this is against his will and he doesn’t like Dwayne.  He was promised money and has received none.  This is against his will and he doesn’t endorse Johnson.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. The Miz

We get big match intros for this as I can’t believe we’re over halfway done with the show.  Miz grabs a headlock to start and that gets him nowhere.  Cena fights back and gets a dropkick for one.  Almost all Cena here and he takes down Riley also.  Miz hammers away and the referee pulls him off, allowing Riley to get a shot in.  A shot into the steps gets two.

Corner clothesline hits by the former champ as the fans are split.  Double axe off the top hits for two as we take a break.  Back with Miz in control, getting a neckbreaker for two.  Cena comes back with his usual stuff and the Shuffle gets two.  Miz fights out of the AA and is holding his shoulder.  Big boot puts Cena down but a second attempt is countered into the STF.  Rope is grabbed though and Miz gets a low DDT for two.

There goes a turnbuckle pad as the referee is apparently blind.  Cena blocks the shot into it but can’t get the AA again.  Reality Check gets two.  This is better than it sounds as they’re not making Miz look like a joke.  The Finale is blocked and Miz is knocked into the referee.  STF goes on and Miz taps.  Riley comes in with the briefcase and it goes into Cena’s ribs.  Finale hits for a VERY close two.  Crowd is into this big time.

Miz walks into the AA and THAT gets two.  I would have bet money on that one.  Ok probably not but you get the idea.  Riley distracts again and a belt shot by Miz GETS THE PIN!  What just happened?  Miz has the title behind his back and the referee is confused.  The fall came at 12:15 if you’re curious.  The referee waves the fall off because he sees the belt.  CHEAP!  Not only that, Miz LOSES by DQ because there was a belt in the ring.  I hate how WWE changes rules every five minutes like this.  Drives me crazy.

Rating: B. Very good match here and far better than their Mania match.  The false finishes were great and it was the STUPID ending that held it back from being even better.  Miz looks completely equal to main event stars and that’s the best thing you could say about him.  Good match, terribly stupid ending.

Cena beats them both up post match.

Ellen Degeneres fails to come up with a good catchphrase but says happy birthday.

Tyler Perry wishes Rock happy birthday.  He does some Madea also.

We get a clip from after the PPV went off the air last night with Cena making the announcement that Osama had been killed.  He said compromised to a permanent end instead of killed/assassinated though.

Ricardo does the full entrance for Alberto but he’s in a suit (and a Rolls Royce).  He’s doing commentary for the following tag match.

Rey Mysterio/Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger/Drew McIntyre

Swagger and McIntyre have a pose in the aisle which looked uh……how do I put this…….think of Billy and Chuck.  Swagger vs. Rey to start us off and it’s off to Kofi quickly.  Big boot takes Kofi down and we take a break.  Back with Swagger having a crossface chickenwing broken up as he tags in Drew.  Kofi rolls him up for two and McIntyre does the same.

Swagger takes over again as Alberto says Rey isn’t a real Mexican.  Off to Rey who cleans house and gets two on McIntyre.  Trouble in Paradise to McIntyre sets up the 619.  Alberto gets up and Rey glares at the villain, but instead just goes with a top rope splash (called a senton by JR) to end it at 8:40.

Rating: C. Not a great match but it’s ok at least and they let the new draft picks get on TV and have some stuff develop.  Alberto vs. Rey looks to be happening….again and I guess we’ll get Swagger vs. Kofi….again, but that one at least didn’t have a blowoff before so that helps a bit.  Just a tag match really though.

WWE had an anti-bullying rally and started an organization in Washington DC.  Yes, we get it: bullying is bad.

Ludacris wishes Rock happy birthday.

Dan Marino says the basics.

Rock congratulates the new World Heavyweight Champion, Christian.  That’s his cameo I guess.  Vickie comes in with Dolph and they have a present for him.  It’s a cake that’s about five feet tall.  He loves pie so they pull it back and there’s Mae Young who looks….well she looks like Mae Young.  They laugh and Rock says shut up.  Rock says Vickie can lose all the weight she wants and she’ll never be as beautiful as Mae Young.  Rock kisses Mae full on the lips and says he gets more pie in one night than Dolph gets in a lifetime.

Rock turns around and sees John Cena.  The Divas aren’t even paying attention.  Cena has a gift for Rock which he can only get from Cena.  It’s the WWE Championship, which he’s going to keep until Wrestlemania.  If Rock wants it, he has to go through Cena.  Rock says just bring it.  Cool moment as always with these two.

Kane vs. Mason Ryan next.

George Lopez has some coupons for Rock for his birthday.  Ok then.

Mason Ryan vs. Kane

Kane gets shoved to the floor to start and a clothesline puts Kane down.  After Kane gets beaten down with slams and various other power stuff, Punk comes in for the DQ at 1:38.  Nexus runs out for the beatdown and Kane fights them off.  Ryan casually breaks a chokeslam which was impressive.  Show comes down and Ryan spears him down with ease.

Ryan leaves without Nexus who look at him and aren’t happy.

Rock’s party is up next.  It’s 11:00 and we’re going to a commercial.

Regis and Kelly say happy birthday.

Craig Ferguson says happy birthday.

Everyone in the front row has birthday hats on now.  Rock says he’s happy to be a son of Miami and a proud Hurricane.  Rock’s family is in the front row.  He promises that Wrestlemania will be the biggest of all time.  Here’s Vince of all people.  He talks about a day a long time ago when Rock said he could make WWE reach new levels and Rock has done it.

Vince wants to thank Rock for being the Rock and for coming home.  There’s a present for him and it’s a video about his career and life, set to I’m Coming Home by Diddy Dirty Money.  There are some awesome old school videos from him as a football player and with various people such as Andre the Giant and Muhammad Ali as a kid.

Back in the arena Maya is here to sing Happy Birthday to Rock.  The catchphrase finally takes us out as streamers and confetti fall.

Overall Rating: B-. And yes I know there wasn’t a ton of wrestling.  That wasn’t the point to this show yet I’m sure people will complain about it anyway.  This show was about a celebration for Rock and to draw fans in by having him there.  There’s nothing wrong with putting a show into coast mode which is what is usually done the first week after a PPV.  We had a good show here and some stuff was set up for Over the Limit.  Not bad here at all and definitely entertaining overall.

Results

John Morrison vs. R-Truth went to a no contest when R-Truth jumped Morrison

Kelly Kelly vs. Maryse went to a no contest when Kharma interfered

John Cena b. The Miz via DQ when Miz hit Cena with the WWE Championship

Kofi Kingston/Rey Mysterio b. Drew McIntyre/Jack Swagger – Mysterio pinned McIntyre after a top rope splash

Kane b. Mason Ryan via DQ when CM Punk interfered

Extreme Rules 2011
Date: May 1, 2011
Location: St. Pete Times Forum, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Booker T, Josh Matthews

I see this show as being like TLC from last year: there isn’t much of a difference in the stories from here and Wrestlemania so here are a bunch of gimmicks tacked on and we hope that you watch our show and don’t notice that we haven’t put much thought into this past month.  The main event tonight (possibly) is Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio for the vacant world title.  If Christian doesn’t win here, I doubt he ever will.  Not really but it sounds good.  Let’s get to it.

Opening video is pretty much what you would expect: TONIGHT IS EXTREME!!!

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

Last man standing here.  New Nexus is with Punk as they continue to try to validate their existences.  And never mind as an E-Mail throws them out.  Punk takes the pad off a buckle before he even gets in.  Hot start as they go right at it.  We go to the floor quickly with Punk getting introduced to the barricade.  They hit it off and are taking in a movie next Tuesday.

They go back into the ring as they’re keeping up that fast pace.  The problem of course is that in last man standings, there’s no real point to buying into any counts until after at least 8 minutes.  Punk grabs a kendo stick and the “brutal” part of the match starts.  Multiple shots by Punk (Straightedge anyone?) gets about seven and now it’s payback time.  Finisher attempts are exchanged and Orton sends Punk into a chair wedged in between the ropes to the floor for about 6.

Punk gets a solid kick to the head for about 8.  As always in these matches, a lot of time passes with little happening due to the counting and setting up for the counting.  Orton sends him into the barricade for six and we head back to the ring.  GTS actually hits and Orton gets up at 9, only to fall back down a second later.  That counts as being up though as it should.  Punk throws in a chair and a Russian leg sweep onto it gets about 8.

To their feet and Punk tries another leg sweep.  Orton pulls an RKO out of nowhere and both guys are down.  Orton gets up as does Punk but he stumbles to the floor just after he gets up.  Punk fights off the elevated DDT and wraps a chair around Orton’s throat to send it into the post.  THAT gets 9 and Punk is ticked off.  They go to the table and Punk tries the GTS on it….which wouldn’t add anything to the move but whatever.  There’s the counter into an RKO onto the (non-breaking in this case) table and Punk stumbles to his feet somehow at 9.  I would have bet on that being the ending.

Orton sets for a Punt but gets caught in a GTS into the steps.  When I say the GTS I mean he gets dropped face first onto the steps which is really about all you can do with that move.  Up at nine and Punk has a kendo stick.  Punk sends Orton in and goes up top for some reason, only to have Orton intercept the stick and WEAR PUNK OUT with it as he’s hanging from the top.  SUPER RKO from the top ends this with Orton barely beating the count.

Rating: B. I rather liked this one, mainly because they gave it a lot more time than I expected them to.  I would have thought the ending was going to happen multiple times in there but they let it keep going.  I think it was pretty clear Orton was going to win, but they had a lot of very close calls in there and it worked rather well.  Much better than I expected actually.

Lawler heads to the back to get read and we recap the Draft.

Morrison is warming up.

Sheamus is ticked off that Teddy has added an extra match with him defending against Kofi in a tables match.  He’s the US Champion and is defending against someone not from the US.  He demands to see the birth certificate.  This is FAR less stupid now that that whole issue is over.

US Title: Sheamus vs. Kofi Kingston

Booker continues to imply Kofi should turn heel as we hit the floor early.  First table is brought out by the pale one and set up on the floor.  Back to the ring and Sheamus gets caught on the apron, only to hit a slingshot shoulder block to take Kofi down.  Table #2 comes in and lands on top of Kofi.  We hear about how Sheamus beat Cena in one of these to win the title which still blows my mind.

Table gets set up in the corner but Kofi fights out of it.  Sheamus moves to avoid Kofi’s dive but Kofi is like screw it and does the splits in midair to land on the ropes with the table between his legs.  Big boot sends Kofi flying over the table on the floor as Sheamus takes over again.  The corner table is set up in front of the corner and Sheamus hammers away.  Sheamus can’t suplex him onto a table on the floor and gets caught by Trouble in Paradise but it doesn’t put him through the table.  The Boom Drop as Sheamus turns around does however to give Kofi the title.

Rating: C+. Not bad here and considering it was just a way to get a midcard title on Raw this was fine.  Kofi of course is his usually solid self and Sheamus loses the title without getting pinned.  This was perfectly fine and the ending plus some cool spots by Kofi were enough to push it over the top.

Truth complains about Morrison because that’s what he does anymore.  He can’t spell conspiracy.  The one thing he can’t stand is a thief which is what Morrison is.  Back in the 80s this would have been a squash over a jobber and the point is just to establish that Truth is here for when he likely runs in later.

Michael Cole/Jack Swagger vs. Jim Ross/Jerry Lawler

Country whipping match here, which means they all have straps.  Cole, I kid you not, is wrapped in bubble wrap.  Ross has a legit broken hand after beating Cole up Monday.  Cole gives us his resume as a reporter and insults all of Florida by saying everyone is old.  Lawler vs. Cole to start as Lawler can’t hurt him.  Lawler goes for the only unprotected part: Cole’s face.  There goes the bubble wrap and it’s off to Swagger.

Basically this is Lawler vs. Swagger for all intents and purposes as they have a one on one match for a few minutes.  Lawler gets him down but takes a chop block as he goes after Cole.  Ankle Lock goes on for like 30 seconds as Ross WEAKLY hits Swagger to break the hold.  Off to JR who puts an ankle lock on Swagger!  Swagger escapes and I think accidentally tags Cole.  Ross wastes WAY too much time for a clothesline and whips Cole a bit.  Ankle lock goes on Cole and even takes Swagger out with a low blow.  He turns to whip Swagger….and gets rolled up by Cole to end it.  Dang it this is going to keep going isn’t it?

Rating: F. Hey look, Cole wins again and gets to run his mouth a bit more.  Not as bad as Mania but still, DO SOMETHING ELSE!  This has been done and it’s been done multiple times already so why do they keep going with it?  Cole can still be a jerk but give us SOMETHING for a change instead.  Match sucked too.

Over the Limit is in three weeks.  Well of course it is.

Cena says he hasn’t been champion since June and will be champion again tonight.  Short interview here.

We recap Rey vs. Cody.  Not much to say here other than it’s been awesome from Cody and Rey messed up Cody, turning him into someone that thinks he’s grotesque despite looking the same as he always has.  That’s some solid psychological stuff there.

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

Falls count anywhere.  People hand out the bags which is a nice touch.  Cody has promised to send Rey to the hospital on his way to Raw.  Cody charges at Rey to start us off but Rey speeds thigns up to send him to the floor.  They go up the ramp and Rey gets a seated senton off the stage for two.  Out into the crowd as Rey kicks away at the head.  NOT IN THE FACE!!!

Up towards the back of the arena with Cody kind of in control now.  Into the back as this is more or less an old school hardcore match.  Cody mangaes the Beautiful Disaster off a concession stand window for two.  That looked awesome.  Back to the ring as this has been a very stiff looking match.  Rey tries his sitout bulldog but Cody reverses with a wheelbarrow drop onto the steps for two.

Cody picks Rey up like a 24 pack and throws him into the ring.  Rey fights back and sets for the 619, intentionally exposing his knee brace.  Cody counters and hits an Alabama Slam for two.  Up we go but Rey FIRES GREEN MIST at Cody to send him flying.  619 out of nowhere and the springboard splash finishes completely clean.

Rating: B. Another good match here, mainly due to them beating the tar out of each other.  This feud was solid and at least Cody got the win at Mania which looks better on his resume and will be what is remembered.  Good stuff overall here and the mist was a nice touch despite messing up the racial stereotypes again.

Layla apologizes to the Divas for being mean to them over the years.  They say they don’t like her but they like Michelle less.

Cole is back on commentary.  Oh joy.

Michelle McCool vs. Layla

More or less a street fight here and the loser leaves WWE.  Michelle wisely jumps Layla during her lay on the rope entrance.  Out to the floor as this is another intense brawl.  A shot into the table gets two for Michelle.  Big boot misses and here comes Layla.  Belly to belly gets two for Michelle as we hit the floor again.

They fight on the barrier of all things with Michelle taking over.  DIAMOND DUST gets two for Layla as they come back in.  Faithbreaker is countered into the Layout for two.  Michelle counters a jackknife cover into a Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) but can’t cover immediately.  Layla counters the cover into a rollup/crucifix pin to get rid of Michelle.

Rating: C+. I liked this again.  The Divas can do pretty well if they’re given the proper amount of time.  Layla winning here is probably due to Michelle leaving soon if not tonight apparently which is fine.  Definitely one of the better matches with the females in awhile as this worked fine.  Layle is getting a lot better every time she gets in there, which is definitely a good sign.

Layla cries as she leaves.

Michelle gets the goodbye song treatment but Kharma (Awesome Kong) debuts.  Implant Buster kills Michelle dead with ease.  All of the Divas are freaked out.  Beth is made to look the most prominent here.

Alberto gives Ricardo instructions on how to announce the ending.

We recap Edge’s retirement and the title being vacant.  This gets the 3 Doors Down video again which makes me smile.  Edge was supposed to defend in a ladder match but had to retire due to a neck injury so Christian took his place by winning a battle royal.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio

Ladder match here.  Well we’re in Christian’s match with Edge’s momentum behind him in his (kind of) hometown.  If he doesn’t win here, he’s never going to have a better chance.  Brawl to start and Christian goes for the ladder only for the king of the golden banana hammock to take over.  Baseball slide into the ladder into Del Rio as Christian takes control right back.

First ladder is brought in and Del Rio gets in a shot to take over.  Christian is knocked to the floor as Del Rio gets the big ladder set up between the table and the ring like a platform.  Suplex is blocked but Christian is kicked into the steps hip first.  The Canadian gets knocked off the top onto a ladder and then jumps onto Del Rio to keep the advantage for the most part.

Up goes Christian but we’re only about 8 minutes into this so that’s not the ending.  They slug it out but the Killswitch is avoided.  Del Rio is sent into the ladder arm first.  Big ladder goes up in the middle of the ring but Del Rio chucks a stepladder at Christian for the save.  Codebreaker to the arm with Del Rio on the small ladder and Christian coming off the big ladder which looked awesome.

Del Rio works on the arm a bit as Cole declares Christian done.  The small ladder (I smell an alliance with Horny) is used again but Del Rio goes crashing into the big ladder to put him down.  Christian goes up again, only to get caught by Alberto in a kind of powerbomb move which is countered by a rana by Christian.  They fight over a chance to put the other through the ladder platform but Christian gets a suplex onto a ladder to put Del Rio down.

Alberto goes up, only to be stopped but the arm goes out on Christian as Alberto keeps control.  Chair slipped in by Ricardo which goes nowhere.  Back in the ring Christian busts out a SPEAR to put Del Rio down.  I guess he isn’t a master of it though as Del Rio makes the save by pulling Christian through the rungs of the ladder.  Christian slips free, sending Alberto into the corner where the stepladder gets kicked into his face again.

Christian gets laid out on the platform ladder and Del Rio goes up for an elbow/legdrop/splash/whatever.  Christian moves though and the ladder DOESN”T BREAK.  FREAKING OW MAN!  There goes the Canadian but Brodus runs in to move the ladder and pull him down.  Stepladder shot puts Clay down as Del Rio comes back in to take over.  Cross armbreaker with the arm in the ladder makes Christian tap which means nothing.

Christian is busted open so we bust out the towel.  Alberto sets up the ladder and has to take his time as first aid is administered, making this look REALLY FREAKING STUPID.  He goes up but a horn honks and Edge is in a car.  Brodus is busted BAD.  The distraction lets Christian shove Alberto onto Clay and Christian is champion.  One important thing here: Edge stands off to the side for a good while to let Christian celebrate on his own.

Rating: B. Another rather good match here and this is the right move.  I’m skeptical about Christian as champion still, but this was 100% the right call given the circumstances.  He gets the chance to run with things here, despite being 37 now.  It’s a gamble, but it’s not a huge walk the plank one so I don’t have many complaints here.  Rather good match too but nothing we haven’t seen before for the most part.

Edge celebrates with Christian but DOESN’T STEAL THE SPOTLIGHT.

Package on Orton’s movie at a film festival.  I think they’ve figured out the idea here: let the actors do the acting and let the WWE guys have supporting roles.  It’ll do a lot better.

Riley gives Miz a pep talk as the fans can be heard heckling Del Rio.

Tag Titles: Kane/Big Show vs. Wade Barrett/Ezekiel Jackson

Lumberjack match here which is really needed as it’s 10:15 and we only had the Raw title match left.  Show vs. Barrett to start us off as Show dominates.  Kane comes in with his low dropkick for two.  Everything breaks down quickly as Show beats up various jobber lumberjacks as Jackson runs over Kane to take over.  Double clothesline puts both guys down as this is a bit of a mess.  It’s a bonus match though so you really can’t complain that much.

Off to Show who cleans a few rooms but gets sent to the floor by Jackson.  Jobbers pound on him which means they’ll be his dinner later.  DH Smith is actually here.  Wow indeed.  They finally get Show back in and Jackson slams him, but Barrett wants the glory.  The glaring between the foreigners allows Show to grab a chokeslam to retain over Barrett.  Just a quick match here.

Rating: D+. Again, it’s a bonus match so you really can’t complain much here.  They filled in the card and pushed the whole Corre breaking down thing.  This was fine for what it was as they weren’t expected to do anything of note.  I’m done will filling in space here but with this sentence I get four lines out of it so I’m happy.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. The Miz vs. John Morrison

In a cage and it’s pin, submission or escape.  Miz tries to run but the not brothers John save him.  Midnight Express flapjack puts the champ down as we’re firmly into the three way formula already.  Everyone beats on everyone as the former tag champions……and by that I mean Miz and Morrison…..go up but Cena makes the save.  Miz and Cena fight on the top rope for a bit and down goes Cena.

Morrison tries to make a quick escape as Miz tries a pin but the champion saves.  They sit on top of the cage and slug it out as Booker says they’re 20 or 30 feet in the air.  I give up.  Cena pops up and it’s a double suplex to Miz but they kind of botch it into almost a double brainbuster.  That looked SICK.  Back to the formula again and down goes Morrison.

Cena locks on the STF but Miz tries to escape.  Cena lets go for some reason and no one escapes.  Morrison gets thrown into the cage, only to jump up the wall and almost escape.  He’s a wildcard in this and changes the whole thing, as wildcards are designed to do.  With the Johns on top, Miz tries to go out the door.  Morrison kicks the door onto his head but gets crotched on said door.

Miz wisely pulls Morrison back into the cage because Morrison was about to just fall onto the floor.  Cena gets two on Morrison.  BIG DDT on Cena by Miz gets two.  Miz rams Cena into the cage and Morrison almost escapes, only to be caught again by Miz.  They slug it out on top of the cage again and Miz can’t quite get down.  Miz goes down so Morrison launches a Starship Pain off the cage to take out both guys in a cool spot.

Morrison almost gets out but of course here’s Truth to slam the door on Morrison’s head.  Truth comes into the cage and destroys Morrison.  Axe kick to Cena as Booker is confused.  Jumping downward spiral (NAME THAT MOVE ALREADY!) to Morrison as Truth climbs the cage.  He hasn’t touched Miz.  Truth climbs out of the cage and has the big freaky eyes going on.

Everyone is down now and Miz is the first one up.  He goes to escape, for some reason not going through the door, only to be caught by Cena.  They slug it out with the boo/yay which is required for Cena matches anymore.  Skull Crushing Finale is blocked into a big old FU off the top (stealing moves from Orton Cena?  Really) and Cena is champion again.

Rating: B-. Well we all knew the Truth interference was coming and that Morrison wasn’t walking out with the title which is fine.  The ending sets up a rematch and Truth vs. Morrison which is fine on both counts.  This was a pretty solid main event to a pretty solid show which is always a good sign.  They worked the formula and they worked it well here, so no complaints for the most part.

Overall Rating: A-. Dude this show was pretty awesome.  There are good matches throughout, some history thrown in there and two bonus matches, one of which was pretty good.  This is a lot like TLC: it wasn’t meant to be an epic show but rather fun instead and that’s just what they did here.  Good stuff throughout and not boring at all with everyone working hard.  That’s what you want here and it paid off.  Very good show and rather fun overall.

Results

Randy Orton b. CM Punk when Punk couldn’t answer the ten count

Kofi Kingston b. Sheamus – Boom Drop through a table

Michael Cole/Jack Swagger b. Jim Ross/Jerry Lawler – Cole pinned Ross with a rollup

Rey Mysterio b. Cody Rhodes – Springboard splash

Layla b. Michelle McCool – Crucifix Pin

Christian b. Alberto Del Rio – Christian pulled down the championship

Big Show/Kane b. Ezekiel Jackson/Wade Barrett – Big Show pinned Barrett after a chokeslam

John Cena b. John Morrison and The Miz – Cena pinned Miz after an Attitude Adjustment off the top

Extreme Rules 2010
Date: April 25, 2010
Location: 1st Mariner Arena, Baltimore, Arena
Attendance: 12,278
Commentators: Michael Cole, Matt Striker, Jerry Lawler

Ok so here we are. Again this is hopefully going to be a live review so if it comes off as odd don’t be surprised. This show was plagued by a lack of Raw build up show due to the volcano in Iceland. Even still though, this is a minor PPV as it’s just a rehash of the Mania feuds. This is the show where everything is a gimmick match which is always at least cool in theory. The main event is Batista/Cena in a last man standing match. Let’s get to it.

Opening video more or less says that Extreme rules. Cute. Incredibly stupid, but cute. Rey/Punk gets a higher billing than Edge/Jericho. That’s rather odd. Standard video package that sums up everything. WWE is very user friendly. It’s easy to step into any show and get what’s going on. That’s a HUGE perk for attracting new fans.

Street Fight: HHH vs. Sheamus

WOW. This is the opener? I’m stunned actually. This has been a decent build up to a feud…and there’s no HHH. ICELAND ATTACKS AGAIN! We go to the back and Sheamus has jumped HHH. I like it. It gives things a feeling of you don’t know what’s coming which is a very nice touch to say the least. The pale one has a steel pipe and gets in a solid shot on HHH’s head. I guess this has officially started but I’m not sure. The referee calls for the medic and we go to the arena.

And Big Show and Miz are here. Ok then. These two aren’t scheduled but I’d bet on a tag title match. They’re not scheduled but they just happen to have their wrestling gear on. The jacket on Miz works in some weird way. Miz has risen so far so fast that it’s amazing. I think Bret is going to be here soon.

Oh apparently they’re moving that to tomorrow. They say they have a lack of competition and they’re praying for opponents. I smell Kane for some reason. Here’s Teddy Long. He makes ShowMiz vs. a team of his choosing. This is just for a title shot, not the titles. Got it. And the opponents are….not announced yet. I’m liking this live way of reviewing actually. Ah .

Tag Team Gauntlet

R-Truth and Morrison are opening us up here. This is the first of three teams. I know this is a rematch of Mania but come on now. Actually this works so I can’t complain that much. Cole says the fans are behind the face team. NO REALLY? It’s a bit better than the previous one at Mania, but not by much. Morrison screws up and gets disqualified by not letting Show out of the ropes when he has a triangle choke on. Ok then.

Team number two is MVP/Mark Henry. This is rather short but it works fine I guess. Without going into details, MVP gets punched and pinned.

Cue Hart Dynasty, Hart Attack, pin. Literally, that’s it.

Rating: N/A. Too much of a mess to really grade it as a regular match. Something like this was needed to flesh out the card though. It came off fine though.

Grisham tries to give us an update on HHH but Sheamus says he’ll have to forfeit or get a worse beating.

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Remember if Punk loses his head is shaved. Punk NEEDS this. Rey is wearing a Skelator mask. Ok then. Punk hits that sweet powerslam of his. In a nice spot, Punk just throws Punk under the ropes so he crashes into the floor. Nicely done. Gallows has a bit of an Austin look going for him.

Decent match far and longer than their Mania one I think. Come on WWE don’t kill Punk off yet. He busts out a bow and arrow of all things. Nice. Striker tries to turn Cole and Lawler to Straightedge. I like it. Punk busts out a freaking Gory Special of all things. See? Even back then they had special moves. No Mercy stole from them! Punk is more or less dominating, which scares me to no end. Serena stops the 619 and she and Gallows get ejected.

Rey hits an Asai Moonsault to get right back into it. Crowd is red hot by the way. Rey gets a seated senton but Punk hits a dropkick to make the save. This is a storied rivalry already. No Striker. Just no. Punk hits his springboard clothesline and I can’t stand Rey anymore. Seriously, get over the whole overcoming the odds idea.

It’s just stupid anymore. GTS is countered into a rana for 2 and then punk kicks Rey’s head off. Solid match to put it mildly. Rey gets the freaking 619 and someone slides a chair into the ring. It’s a bald guy that slides under the ring. No clue who that was. He also drops Rey with something on the floor and Rey is out. GTS ends it. YES!

Rating: A-. VERY good match that had me wondering who would win up until the very end. Also, this is the way the match needed to end. Rey needed to lose here and Punk now has a credible win in this gimmick. That was a great match though. Love it and yes my Punk bias likely has a lot to do with it but still.

Strap Match: JTG vs. Shad Gaspar

It’s the four corners version here which I’m in the minority that actually prefers it that way. I just could not care less about this match. I truly couldn’t. JTG needs to win to regain credibility apparently. That would imply he had it to begin with, which is a straight up lie. Shad is dominating for the most part here. Yeah riveting.

Wow the crowd is SILENT for this. Who would have seen that coming? Shad just destroys JTG here and beats on him with the strap sans mercy. Shad gets his first three…and JTG does the same three. Not THIS finish again. Yep. JTG hits his finisher and dives for the 4th corner. Screw me running at least it’s over.

Rating: D-. And I like these kinds of matches. The crowd simply could not care less and it came off very clearly here. I mean NO ONE cared. Just boring here with two guys that have no heat on them at all. At least it’s over though.

HHH can’t fight tonight. Yeah I’ll buy that.

Orton vs. Swagger is next? Really? We hit the recap. You know the drill by now.

Smackdown World Title: Randy Orton vs. Jack Swagger

Remember it’s Extreme Rules which I guess means no rules? Crowd loves them some Orton. Swagger controls early on as you would expect. I’m hoping they don’t make the switch tonight. Orton chasing the title for a few months would be nice. Also Swagger needs the credibility that the title gives him.

I love how more or less the announcers say Orton has nothing but the RKO. That’s not that nice. Swagger is dominating but Orton gets a belt shot to break that up. Ok then. Orton hits that same powerslam that Punk hit earlier. Swagger counters the elevated DDT too. Nicely done. It’s garbage can time.

SICK shots with it from Orton. Those were nice. Orton is going off now and it’s awesome. Orton does a stomp to Swagger’s head while he’s on the steps. Ow. The knee drop misses though and Swagger hits the floor. Naturally he gets caught in the elevated DDT though and it’s Orton setting for the RKO now. Hint: when he slaps the mat and shouts, it means RKO is coming.

Instead though he sets up a chair but the RKO onto it is countered. Well kind of it was. The look came off terribly but I get the concept. Gutwrench powerbomb hits and Swagger gets the pin. HUGE win there. That was all Swagger as he countered the RKO and got the pin. All Swagger there. Post match Orton gets the RKO to keep the tweener thing going.

Rating: B-. Not great but the booking was exactly right. This was a decent little match as Swagger is getting better and better in the ring. I liked it for what it was. No classic but not bad at all.

And here’s Sheamus. Ok then. And despite not being able to feel his hand, here comes HHH. Ok, if he wins here, I give up.

Street Fight: Sheamus vs. HHH

HHH of course controls to start things off which is bearable I guess. He hits the spinebuster but can’t get the Pedigree because of the arm being how hurt it is. Now this is more like it. He’s just ramming HHH into the barricade over and over again. I forgot this is a street fight. That’s not a good sign at all.

Striker and King are arguing like no other here and it’s coming off as great. Striker says he and Lawler have both wrestled hurt. That’s rather stupid. Striker wrestled for what, a year or so? Just seems ridiculous to compare the two of them. And of course HHH has the energy to use a DDT with his left arm.

HHH grabs a pipe and smacks HHH in the head with it. Naturally he kicks out. Sure why not? Apparently after a massive Irish man blasts you in the head with a steel pipe you can kick out via instinct. Sure why not? Celtic Cross is blocked. Apparently that’s called Pale Justice now. HHH gets a kendo stick and all of a sudden his arm is fine. That makes my head hurt. This has at least picked up a bit. Pump kick hits though. A second kick hits and it’s all Sheamus.

Naturally he lets HHH get up and the third and fourth kicks land to FINALLY end him. And remember kiddies: do not attempt making yourself look that strong without a licensed wife with connections. To be fair, the ending makes this a lot more bearable. Post match he fights off a cervical collar and tries to crawl off. He’s almost to the entrance when Sheamus hits ANOTHER kick to put him down again. Nice.

Rating: C-. The second half saved this match. The first half was borderline failure but the weapons helped it a lot. Sheamus winning is the right thing though, period. Yes HHH looked very strong, but to be fair he laid down at the end of the match and that’s what counts at the end of the day. Not terrible but more about the angle afterwards than the match.

Ad for Over the Limit. Oh dear.

Edge is getting ready.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Michelle McCool

This is an Extreme Makeover match. Michelle looks great of course. The music helps a lot here for her I think. There’s a table of makeup etc at ringside. Beth gets a semi-pop. Can someone shut Beth up? Please? Michelle is possibly the best women’s athlete ever? Really? That’s just pitiful.

Basically we’re just making fun of Vickie and using random weapons like hairspray and ironing boards. Beth counters the hairspray again and it’s one on one now. Vickie has a broom. Make your own jokes. Glam Slam ends it like it should have.

Rating: D. And that’s mainly due to Beth’s awesome cleavage in this one. This was a comedy match to put it nicely and it didn’t come off well to put it nicely. The girls looked hot, but having them use things like makeup and ironing boards? Really?

Ad for the Mania DVD.

Jericho does his usual great promo about how it ends tonight. He looks buff to say the least.

No recap actually.

Cage Match: Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Ah ok we got a quick recap after Edge’s intro. Makes more sense. Jericho stalls a lot to play himself some heel. Ah there we go now they’re both in. And we see Jericho’s tights pulled down. Didn’t need that one there. Jericho gets rammed into the cage. Striker: The metal militia bares its fangs.

Edge goes for the spear but misses entirely. That’s never a good thing. I love that springboard dropkick that Jericho busts out from time to time. Striker talks about footwork and Lawler just couldn’t care less. In a cool spot, Jericho hits a leg whip from the top into the Walls. Nicely done. Edge does the climb the ropes spot to get out which is a nice counter.

Jericho has the door open and knocks Edge to the middle of the ring. Then of course like an idiot he gets out of the cage and goes back in. Yeah he’s an idiot. Edge hits a fast spear for two. Codebreaker gets two and we fight on top of the cage for a bit. Edge gets crotched and Jericho gets out AGAIN but this time Edge stops him from falling.

We fight on top even more and Jericho comes back into the cage. And so does Edge. In a NICE spot, Edge is standing on the top rope and Jericho gets a running start, hits the other rope and into a Codebreaker so both guys are down. Nice. That only gets two for a pretty weak pop. Jericho goes for the top of the cage but Edge saves again.

He slams the door on Jericho’s ankle. That would freaking hurt. Edge spins the ankle around in a weird move. This is more psychological than anything else. Ok not really but there’s some of it in there. More ankle work. Edge hits a CRAP spear for the pin. Why does the announcer’s voice always crack when he’s saying superstar?

Rating: B. Good match here but not great. If nothing else, this gives Edge the definitive win here. That’s the biggest thing I think. It wasn’t great, but it did its purpose. Solid stuff, but nothing great though. Also, stop the stupid pinning in the cage. It’s just so idiotic. Two men enter, one man leaves. Not two men enter, one keeps the other down for three seconds.

We recap Cena vs. Batista. You know it by now.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Batista

We get the big match intros. Depending on the source you read, this might be Big Dave’s last match. We get some feeling out stuff and then Batista is like screw it I’m getting a chair. Naturally this doesn’t work. When did so many people start using the big boot? FU doesn’t hit and Cena is thrown into the post.

Batista goes for the knee because that strategy always works in these things right? He does that for a good while. Cena gets a reversal into the steps to get Cena back to about even. Batista busts out a freaking figure four. Well you can’t fault him for a lack of psychology. Cena goes into his sequence but Batista hits the floor.

FU onto the chair hits but it gets 8. Wow that’s odd to type. Spinebuster gets 8 for Big Dave. Cena goes thgrough a table and of course that’s not enough. Batista is looking for plundah, perhaps a bicycle, when a kid yells that he hates the Animal. The Animal feels the same way. Cena puts him through the announce table. You can kind of say this is a paint by numbers thing. It’s not but you could say it is. STFU goes on and Big Dave taps, but you can’t win that way.

He’s out but gets up at 9. Nice little throwback (I crack myself up) to Raw two weeks ago. With nothing else left, Cena crotches him on the post and busts out Duct Tape to tie his legs together. Since he isn’t standing, that’s good enough to retain. Or win the title according to the main page.

Rating: B. Solid match but nothing classic. Cena beats Batista again to end the feud and possibly end Batista. This was fine for what it was, which is something I think people need to keep in mind. They weren’t going for a classic showdown here. That was at Mania. This was the violence aspect of it and more about a definitive ending. You have to keep that in mind on matches like these as it’s a huge difference in style and goals.

Overall Rating: B. I thought this was solid. Not great, but solid. Again, you have to keep in mind what you’re looking at here. Just by the name alone, Extreme Rules, you know this isn’t a standard PPV. It was a gimmick show and there’s nothing wrong with that at all. There isn’t a truly bad match all show, with the strap match and I guess the Divas match being the low points.

However you have a surprise ending and hot women. What more do you need? As for the best part of this show, the youth movement continues. Swagger gets a HUGE win over Orton and did it on his own. He countered the RKO, he hit the Bomb, he got the pin. That’s all you need. Also, Punk got the win that the needed in a great match. All of a sudden, he has credibility and momentum all over again. That’s all you need again.

Oh and Sheamus beats the crap out of HHH. Overall, this show did a great job of closing a lot of doors and getting the rest of the ones opened that need to be opened. This was a successful show. I’ll go with that. Oh and one more thing: there was a feeling of you didn’t know what was coming due to the opening of the show. That’s a very important thing there and it worked very well.

Punk/Mysterio and the main event are worth seeing. Everything else is decent enough for a watch later on. This isn’t a great show, but in a few years it would be a great way to kill an afternoon when it’s raining. Good show.

Smackdown
Date: April 29, 2011
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

It’s the final night with the Smackdown roster as it had been for months.  It’s also the final night before Extreme Rules where we’re guaranteed a new World Heavyweight Champion in the form of Christian or Del Rio.  Orton is here tonight I’m assuming and it’s Rey’s last night here.  This should be good as there will be a lot of farewell matches.  Let’s get to it.

Naturally we open up with a recap of the Draft and Cena going from Friday to Monday, which really isn’t as big a deal as it’s being made out to be.  Of course Orton would wind up being the superstar brought in to replace Edge.  Also Smackdown lost Del Rio and Mysterio so they didn’t do perfectly.  Still though, Smackdown won on Monday.  In the supplemental….that’s up for debate I guess.

Do you know your enemy?  Mine would be IWC idiots that still say WWE is dying when it got 1 million buys for Wrestlemania which everyone said was impossible.  WWE is dying my foot.

The World Heavyweight Championship is above the ring again.

Kane/Show vs. Corre for the titles and Henry vs. Mysterio tonight.

Here’s Orton in the Smackdown shirt to open the show.  He introduces himself to the crowd, because no one here has ever watched Raw right?  Orton talks about how he’s looking forward to the challenges that await him but this Sunday he has some unfinished business.  It’s good that they’re not messing with the PPV matches at least.  Orton gets interrupted by….Drew McIntyre?

Drew says he’s moving up to Raw and the WWE Universe has to wait a bit longer on Orton vs. McIntyre.  Clearly a match the world is waiting for.  Drew tries to jump him with the Futureshock but walks into an RKO.  Orton tries to keep talking and here’s Alex Riley with generic rock theme #857, not to be confused with generic rock theme #856.  He doesn’t even get a word out before he gets taken down by an RKO.

He tries to talk again and this time it’s Del Rio to interrupt him.  Alberto is smart enough to talk on his way to the ring.  Orton apparently knows how to make a first impression but Alberto knows how to make a lasting one.  The three guys in Alberto’s crew surround Orton until Christian runs out to even the odds a bit.  Teddy comes out to make the tag team main event.  Clay gets knocked down and Orton and Christian stand tall.

Kofi is on his way to the ring for a match but Sheamus jumps him.  Apparently this is the match.  I can’t wait for Monday when those stupid shirts go away.  Total assault before the match starts (I think) with Kofi getting sent into the railing and steps.  That’s one thing I like about Sheamus: he isn’t a coward.  He’ll go straight at you and can be a monster fighter when he wants to be.

Into the ring now as I guess the match has officially started when Sheamus jumped him.  We’ll go with that for lack of anything official.  Into the ring and there’s the Brogue Kick and Sheamus holds up the belt and leaves.  I’m assuming this wasn’t an official match.  I’d bet on a match between them at the PPV to put a midcard title on Raw.

Here’s Cole to introduce Jack Swagger.  Cole implies JR is a pig.

Jack Swagger vs. Sin Cara

Cara NAILS the entrance.  I can’t believe I’ve read people complaining about how stupid the trampoline is.  Yes, of course he uses one.  It looks awesome too but hey, I guess since they think it’s stupid, it must be stupid.  Who cares that it looks cool or pops the crowd right?  Booker says he’s noticed Sin Cara can fly.  You can’t buy analysis like this people!!!

Swagger takes him to the mat easily and hammers away.  What looks like a powerslam is reversed and Cara fires off some kicks and an INSANE armdrag off the top.  The lighting is kind of a blue haze here.  It’s almost like Kane’s back in the day although not red and nowhere near as dark.  Cara is sent into the corner chest first but the Vader Bomb is blocked with knees.

More kicks follow and a Tajiri handspring elbow.  Headscissors puts Swagger down but Cara walks into a big boot after a missed springboard move.  Cole slips Swagger a leather belt and Cara grabs a victory roll to get the pin at 3:17.  I’m hoping that’s a sign of how they have tension between Swagger and Cole for the tag match Sunday.

Rating: C+. This was easily Cara’s best match so far in the company.  He kept things a bit slower paced and the result was far fewer botches, far fewer times where he looked shaky and a more interesting match.  He had enough high spots to pop the crowd too and the whole thing worked.  Fun stuff.

Swagger goes after him again post match but is sent to the floor where Cara hits a big plancha to take Jack down.

Kharma ad.  That face is terrifying.

Tag Titles: Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel vs. Big Show/Kane

I still don’t get the point in having Show go to Raw when the champions can be on both shows.  Show vs. Slater to start us off.  The punch is now known as the WMD.  Slater and Gabriel use some nice teamwork and a missile dropkick to put Show down.  That gets one as Show launches Gabriel to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Slater getting two on Show.  Gabriel pops in and manages to counter the chokeslam with a DDT for two as well.  Sleeper/choke by Gabriel gets him nowhere on Show of course.  A sideslam allows the hot tag to the Big Fried Freak (who isn’t as fried as you would expect).  Another sideslam, this one from Kane, gets two.  Top rope clothesline sets up the chokeslam as the crowd is DEAD.  Gabriel saves for a bit but the double chokeslam ends them as Kane pins Slater at 3:40 shown of 7:10 total.

Rating: D+. Just a step above a squash here as there was nothing going on at all.  Corre needs to advance on to splitting or whatever else they’re going to do.  Not much going on here but at least it’s done now.  I was thinking they would shift the belts back now but apparently the giants get to keep them for awhile.  Works for me.

Khali and Singh say good luck on Raw to Rey.  An Indian man comes up whose name is apparently Jinder Mahal and he’s from FCW.  They treat him like a big deal and that’s about it.

Here’s Rey to say goodbye to Smackdown.  He thanks the fans for everything, including their world title win last week.  The journey isn’t done yet as this Sunday they have a match with Cody Rhodes.  Everyone will be part of the 619.  Is he going to buy them all houses in San Diego?

Rey Mysterio vs. Mark Henry

Mark is freshly heel for no apparent reason other than we needed a midcard heel monster on Fridays.  Henry says Rey’s farewell is his debut which is unfortunate.  Rey goes straight at him as Cole makes fun of Rey’s nicknames.  Henry sends him to the floor and Rey stalls for a bit.  Back in and Rey tries to speed things up.  This goes about as well as Goldberg as a heel in WCW as Henry steps on him a lot.

Henry throws him to the floor as this is a very slow moving match.  Rey goes into the steps but moves to send Henry knee first into them as we thankfully take a break.  Back with them in the ring and Rey hitting a seated dropkick.  This is rather boring to say the least.  Henry knocks him off the top and splashes him in the corner.  About ¾ of this match has been Henry running into Rey in some form or another.

We continue to go so slowly that I think I have horrible lag.  Henry tries a drop onto the chest but Rey manages to move.  I’m not sure what caused Rey to move but it was either Mark screaming or standing there for ten seconds.  Little from column A, little from column B I guess.  Rey fires back and hits the 619.  He sets for the seated senton but Cody runs in for the DQ at 5:30 shown of 9:00.

Rating: D. This was terribly boring.  I mean they had nearly ten minutes and it felt like about 40.  Henry isn’t interesting in the slightest as he fights like a 1980s monster heel.  That sounds good in theory, but when did Bundy or Gang EVER go more than 5 minutes without it sucking?  The answer would be when Hogan was there and Rey is no Hogan as far as fighting monsters.  At least it’s over.

Cody beats Rey up in the crowd for a bit and throws him in to Henry for the World’s Strongest Slam.  Rey gets the paper bag treatment also.

Michelle McCool vs. Layla

Layla can make a Smackdown t-shirt look good.  That’s impressive.  They come out to the same music which is pretty rare.  Doesn’t mean anything but it’s rare.  Layla goes straight at her and Michelle shoves her off with ease.  Total catfight and they brawl to the floor.  The fight continues and it’s a double countout at 57 seconds.  Intense if nothing else.

Layla grabs the mic and challenges Michelle to a no DQ and no countout (street fight) match at Extreme Rules.  Michelle says Layla is nothing without her so it’s on.  Michelle insists on loser leaves (overdubbed) WWE.

Video on the European tour.  Hard to argue with those as apparently they’re almost pure profit.  Edge was there too.

Christian says he hears Alberto talking about destiny all the time.  He talks about Alberto injuring him and how it gave him time to reflect.  Christian talks about how this was Edge’s spot but now he’s in it.  He wants to know if this is his time or if he got lucky.  It’s his destiny and he’s going to not only touch the title Sunday but earn the right to keep it.  Good promo.

We run down the card for Sunday.

Brodus Clay/Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian/Randy Orton

Entrances take forever of course.  Can’t tell if it’s a BMW or a Ferrari tonight.  Ferrari apparently which looks awesome.  Christian vs. Del Rio to start us off.  And never mind as here’s Brodus about 4 seconds in.  Standard monster vs. regular sized guy at the moment as we talk about Christian needing a win to validate his career which is a kind of interesting debate.

Off to Alberto as we talk about what his moving to Raw means for Clay.  Clay could be a solid midcard monster if pushed right.  Let the psychology begin as Alberto works on the arm of Christian.  Off to Orton who stares a lot.  Knee drop gets two but Del Rio gets a Codebreaker to the arm and it’s off to Clay as we take a break.  Back with more tagging by the heels and Alberto throwing on a chinlock.

Christian comes in as does Clay.  The Canadian speeds things up and takes the fight to Clay, but Del Rio cheats (that villain!) and Clay gets a t-bone suplex for two.  More standard beating by both heels kills some time.  Christian sends Del Rio to the floor but can’t make the tag.  Brodus works on the back and brings in Alberto for a backsplash off the top for two.  Christian takes him down eventually and it’s hot tag to Orton.  Orton fires off his standard moveset on Del Rio as I’m begging ANYTHING interesting to happen.  RKO doesn’t hit Del Rio but Clay walks into it for the pin at 11:42 shown of 15:12.

Rating: D+. WOW this was boring.  From a wrestling standpoint it was fine but there was nothing to this at all that was going to make this interesting.  It was very paint by numbers for a main event tag match.  This felt like something you would see at a house show which really isn’t what I wanted to see here.  Not a terrible match but really boring overall for the most part.

Overall Rating: D+. I really wasn’t that impressed with this show.  They tried but I really wasn’t all that pleased.  The stuff they did was all about the new people on Smackdown and the old guys leaving which is ok but that doesn’t mean it’s an interesting match.  They kind of built to Extreme Rules but the new World Heavyweight Champion candidates were totally on the back burner tonight to Orton, which really doesn’t make me feel strong about the next title reign.  Weak show.

Results

Sin Cara b. Jack Swagger – Victory Roll

Big Show/Kane b. Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater – Chokeslam to Slater

Rey Mysterio b. Mark Henry via DQ when Cody Rhodes interfered

Layla vs. Michelle McCool went to a double countout

Randy Orton/Christian b. Alberto Del Rio/Brodus Clay

This isn’t officially confirmed yet but according to Variety it did.  I’m rather surprised they got it that high up but definitely a major victory for Vince and WWE here.

Thoughts?

NXT
Date: April 26, 2011
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal

Somehow this is two months old already.  Two months.  How in the world has it only been two months?  Anyway, we’re done with the draft now so it’s time to focus on the real important thing tonight: NXT!!!  Please, someone tell me there’s an elimination coming soon.  I can’t take these six guys on the show for another month.  Let’s get to it.

Maryse and Striker bring out the rookies and pros.  It’s time to play How Well Do You Know Your Pro.  This is the game where the teams are given a question and have to match their answers.  Is there a reason why the games are always the same and they NEVER come up with anything else?

First question is what is the one thing your rookie does better than any other rookie.  Byron says he speaks better, Tatsu says just wrestle.  Nice knowing you Yoshi.  Connor, with mutton chops, says punish people, Kozlov says fire up.  Young says he doesn’t care what Chavo said and that he thinks he’s a better wrestler than Chavo.  Chavo’s card says wrestle but it’s not a match.  Novak says he makes it look good, JTG says fly, which is apparently a match.  Cannon says this is about him, Kidd says best attire.  Titus says connect with the WWE Universe, Horny says bark.  Novak is the only one with a point.

Question two is if you can’t be a superstar, you should be what.  Regal talks about other jobs he used to have, such as working as a bouncer and wringing out sponges for a one armed window cleaner.  Byron says news reporter and is wrong as I didn’t see the card.  Conor says fighter, Vlad says firefighter which isn’t a match.  Young says he doesn’t care and Chavo says tax man.  Since when does Chavo wear glasses?

Novak says there is no answer because he will be the next breakout star.  JTG thinks hip hop MC.  Cannon wants to know how many times Maryse threw up in her mouth after kissing Yoshi but Kidd says fashion designer.  O’Neil says dogcatcher, Horny says bodyguard.  This ate up ten minutes and managed to make this show even weaker.  Regal again saves it, saying he understands why Cole left this show.  Novak wins with the only correct answer out of ten total.

Darren Young vs. Titus O’Neil

Young is being all aggressive to start and we hit the floor with Young in control.  Darren and Chavo are a weird pairing as they’re kind of both heels and yet they’re feuding.  Horny plays cheerleader to get Titus out of a chinlock.  Big old sideslam gets two.  Titus has beaten Young twice this season already so this is billed as a rivalry.  We’re in North Carolina so Young throws on a Figure Four.  Chavo won’t help him though so Young walks into a Low Down to end this at approximately 3:30.  My feed messed up so I missed a few parts but the match couldn’t have been longer than four minutes.

Rating: C-. Decent little match here as Titus continues to be pushed to the moon.  Ok maybe to outer space as I don’t think you can get to the moon from NXT.  Young arguing with Chavo is a nice little touch as it gives you a reason to pay attention to them, which is fine as Young is probably the best all around of these six.  Having a talented pro helps a lot too so they’re probably the best pairing.

Jacob Novak/JTG vs. Vladimir Kozlov/Conor O’Brian

The idea of putting a weak guy with a good guy is foreign on this show isn’t it?  Novak calls out Regal again as maybe my previous statement should be retracted.  Novak says Rega’s career is over which makes Regal stand up.  Regal says he’s over 40 and has lived 1000 lifetimes.  However, if Novak thinks he’s going to let a Muppet like Novak tell him what he’s going to do, Novak is crazy.  Regal wants a match RIGHT NOW.  Novak of course says no because he’s in the tag match but he’ll take on Regal next week.  I guess the big brawl of a feud is penciled in.

Novak and Kozlov start us off as Regal is eerily calm.  O’Brian and Kozlov send Novak to the floor as we take a break.  Regal calls JTG a waste of space and one of the worst people in the WWE.  Preach it brother man.  Back with JTG hitting a clothesline for two on O’Brian.  O’Brian fights back but stops to hit Novak like a good man but JTG takes over again.  Novak hammers on him a bit as Regal talks about lighting Novak on fire in the middle of winter and using his burning flesh to warm his hands.  Vince….about that offer for help for any employee…

The rookies hit the mat as we hear about how impressive Novak has been lately.  Regal takes credit for that which is saying a lot as I’ve become more and more bored by him week in and week out.  Naturally the two guys that are joined at the hop this season get to work the majority of the match.  O’Brian gets a DDT to break the momentum and it’s off to Vlad.  JTG gets involved and everything breaks down.  Novak fights off a double team and hits a big boot to O’Brian to end this at 6:45.

Rating: D+. I know this is getting into a good bit of personal bias, but I do not care about these two anymore.  Novak is trying with the whole Regal thing but it’s nothing.  If they let Novak go over Regal it’ll help him a bit but at the end of the day, Novak and O’Brian have no point being here and yet they’re never thrown off and are even brought back.  I don’t get it at all.  Match was just kind of there anyway.

Raw ReBound recaps the Draft of course.

Someone has destroyed Maryse’s purse so she rants to Tatsu in French.  She blames Lucky and goes off to check on her shoes.  Tatsu comes up to Saxton and asks if he’s seen Lucky.  Saxton gets annoyed with Tatsu not being his pro and says Tatsu can come to the ring for his match with Cannon.  Good to see Saxton showing some serious nature.

Byron Saxton vs. Lucky Cannon

Saxton takes over to start as we hit the floor.  The crowd is SILENT.  Do you know how hard it is to kill fans in North freaking Carolina???  Big boot gets two for Cannon.  Triangle choke by Cannon gets him nowhere.  We hit the chinlock as Todd talks about Tatsu and Kidd going to Smackdown along with Regal, meaning they can hang out together.  Regal goes into a rather depressing speech about having no friends.  Grisham says the two of them get along.  Regal says in total deadpan that they don’t.  This was almost saddening.

Saxton makes his comeback and gets two off a shot from the middle rope.  Rollup gets the same.  We reference Gorgeous George and Chanel #10.  Kidd breaks up a pin attempt so Yoshi takes him out.  Cannon takes out Yoshi so he can tell Maryse he had nothing to do with this.  Yoshi comes in for the DQ at 5:44.  Saxton beats up Yoshi and gets beaten up by Cannon post match.

Rating: C-. Not terrible here but this was more or less the Maryse match rather than Cannon vs. Saxton.  That being said, it’s hardly a bad thing as she’s far more interesting and charismatic than both of them.  Match was only there to set up the finish which is ok, but it gets annoying after awhile.

Maryse might be impressed by Cannon.

Overall Rating: D. This didn’t do it for me at all.  They seem like they’re just going in circles at this point with nothing at all coming to help this show.  O’Brian needs to go as he has nothing going on at all.  Even Novak has something to do here.  Still no mention of an elimination as I really think it’s going to be one winner and no eliminations throughout the season.  It’s never been this far into a season without one so maybe that’s what they’re going with.  Anyway, bad show here but there are at least some stories coming together, which would help this show a lot.

Results

Jacob Novak won the How Well Do You Know Your Pro Challenge

Titus O’Neil b. Darren Young – Sitout Spinebuster

JTG/Jacob Novak b. Conor O’Brian/Vladimir Kozlov – Big boot to O’Brian

Lucky Cannon b. Byron Saxton via DQ when Yoshi Tatsu interfered