ECW On Sci Fi – September 11, 2007: I Could Forgive Them

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: September 11, 2007
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 5,200
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We are officially in a new era around here as CM Punk has defeated John Morrison to become the new ECW World Champion. Odds are Morrison gets a rematch whenever he gets back from his suspension, but we’ll need someone else on the way there. I’m curious to see how that goes, but they could use some other important stories around here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at Punk winning the ECW World Title from John Morrison last week.

Opening sequence.

Here is Armando Alejandro Estrada to introduce CM Punk. Estrada says he’s glad to have Punk as his champion because he was always a big fan. That sounds good to Punk, who has a gift for Estrada: his very own CM Punk shirt! Actually he’ll do even better than that, so Punk whips out a Sharpie and signs it. Punk wants him to try the shirt on, because now is not the time to be shy. Estrada wasn’t just lying when he said he was a big fan right? After some coaxing that borders on threatening, Punk gets him to put the shirt on over his suit.

Cue Elijah Burke to interrupt though, with Estrada saying that Burke is Punk’s opponent at Unforgiven. With Estrada gone, Burke asks if Punk is done playing dress up. Burke is here to congratulate him no the title win, but hold on because we have WHAT chants. He was the first person to see Punk’s talent and even brought him into the New Breed. That being said, Burke can see himself taking that title, because he is just flat out better than Punk at everything. Punk thinks that future is from a broke magic 8 ball, so Burke needs to look at the here and now. Burke shoves him away and gets kicked in the head to clear the ring.

Miz vs. Tommy Dreamer

Extreme Expose is here with Miz but the fans are behind Dreamer as he grabs a headlock to start. A running clothesline puts Miz on the floor but he’s right back in with a catapult to send Dreamer throat first into the bottom rope. Dreamer catches him on top though and it’s a superplex to bring Miz back down. There’s a catapult into the corner and a reverse DDT gives Dreamer two, as Miz gets a foot on the bottom rope. Back up and Dreamer misses a charge into the post, setting up the Reality Check to give Miz the pin.

Rating: C-. Not a great match, but they were rushing through on the way to Miz getting another win. Despite not being the most serious guy in the world, Miz is slowly being built up into a little something around here. That is something that could go somewhere, but it might be as more of an annoyance to Punk than a serious threat. Still though, that’s quite the turnaround after only being in the ring for a fairly short while.

Post match, Kelly Kelly still doesn’t look happy.

Post break, Balls Mahoney gives Kelly Kelly a teddy bear, but she leaves before she gets too emotional.

Matt Striker vs. Nunzio

Big Daddy V is here with Striker. Nunzio knocks him into the corner to start but V pulls Striker out of the way. The missed charge lets Striker grab the rollup pin.

Post match, V gorilla presses Nunzio face first onto the turnbuckle and causes him general physical damage. The Boogeyman pops up on the Titantron and reads a version of Humpty Dumpty to set up his match with Big Daddy V next week.

We look back at the reveal of Hornswoggle as Vince McMahon’s illegitimate son.

Balls Mahoney vs. Mike Knox

This is Knox’s return after a fairly lengthy absence. Mahoney works on the wrist to start and hammers away at the jaw. Knox runs him over though and pounds away as we see Extreme Expose (Brooke has the bear) watching in the back. A chinlock with a knee in Mahoney’s mouth doesn’t do Knox much good as Mahoney is right back with the snap jabs. Knox shrugs them off though and kicks Mahoney in the face for the pin.

A smiling Miz approves of the beating.

Unforgiven rundown.

We look at CM Punk winning the ECW World Title again, albeit in a different video from earlier.

CM Punk/Stevie Richards vs. Elijah Burke/Kevin Thorn

Burke drives Punk up against the ropes and we actually get a clean break. With that going nowhere, it’s off to Richards vs. Thorn, with Stevie managing to kick him down. Punk comes back in for some kicks of his own and the good guys start taking turns on Thorn. Richards finally gets taken into the corner corner and Thorn busts out a torture rack of all things.

With Richards dropped, it’s back to Burke to plant Richards in the corner. The elbow in the corner and some stomping get two on Richards and we hit the front facelock. Burke misses a charge into the corner though (WAY too common this week) and the hot tag brings in Punk to clean house. A few clotheslines set up the GTS to finish Thorn.

Rating: C. Pretty run of the mill tag match here with Punk getting to overcome the odds and win in the end. It keeps Punk looking strong going into his first title defense, which should be a pretty academic win, but you have to put in a bit of work. Other than that, you have Richards getting a nice little bounce back, which he needs after the loss to Thorn.

Punk stares Burke down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. As has been the case for a pretty good while now, it is clear that ECW needs some fresh blood, just for the sake of getting some new stars and stories going. Mike Knox could help that a little bit, but I’m not sure how interesting that is going to be. Punk winning is a big deal, but reheating his feud with Burke isn’t going to be the rocket up to the next level. This was a fairly uninteresting show and that’s a bad sign for the start of Punk’s title reign.

 

 

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Elimination Chamber 2022: Again And Again

Elimination Chamber 2022
Date: February 19, 2022
Location: Jeddah Super Dome, Jeddah, Saudi Arabia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re back on the other side of the world this time and the card is pretty stacked. There are two Elimination Chamber matches to go with three women’s matches as we get ready for Wrestlemania. That could go in more than one direction and the show seems a bit more interesting as a result. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Miz vs. Rey Mysterio

Dominik Mysterio is here with Rey. Miz knocks him down to start and hits the early posing on the ropes. Back up and Rey headscissors him into 619 position but Miz isn’t quite ready for that. Instead Rey knocks him to the floor for the sliding splash, setting off a 619 chant. Dominik sends Miz back inside (twerp) but he breaks up something from Rey on the top. They head outside again with Miz sending him into the barricade, setting up the running kick to the face back inside.

The chinlock sets up the YES Kicks but, as usual, the big one misses. Another headscissors sends Miz into the post and there’s the top rope seated senton to drop him again. Miz is back with a DDT for two but the Skull Crushing Finale is broken up. The 619 connects so Miz has to roll outside before the top rope splash can launch.

Miz grabs a chair, earning himself a dive from Rey. Dominik grabs the chair and takes it away, so Miz fakes being shoved into the steps. That’s enough for an ejection of Dominik, but Rey counters the 619 into a cradle for the pin at 9:15, proving that Dominik is in fact worthless and a detriment.

Rating: C+. These two work well together and putting Rey out there is a good way to open any show. The fans are going to respond to him and the high flying/fast paced stuff is still more than entertaining enough to watch. Odds are this sets up Dominik beating Miz as well, because Dominik will be a thing whether you like him or not.

Post match Miz goes after Rey, which draws Dominik back in for the save. A double 619 sets up back to back frog splashes to leave Miz laying.

The opening video looks at how the Elimination Chamber is here, which sets us on the Road to WrestleMania. The rest of the matches get a look as well.

We recap Goldberg vs. Roman Reigns for Reigns’ Universal Title. Reigns is on the way to Wrestlemania and Brock Lesnar but he has to stop for a match against Goldberg, who just said he was getting a title match.

Universal Title: Roman Reigns vs. Goldberg

Reigns, with the rest of the Bloodline, is defending. They stare at each other for a good while and the GOLDBERG chants are on. The big power lockup goes to Goldberg but Reigns starts punching him in the face. Goldberg is sent outside but he sends Reigns into the barricade for a breather. Back in and the spear cuts Reigns down but the Jackhammer is countered into a release Rock Bottom. The Superman Punch drops Goldberg again but Reigns’ spear is countered by Goldberg’s spear. The Jackhammer doesn’t work though as Reigns reverses into the guillotine and Goldberg is out at 5:59.

Rating: C. Happy days are here again as they can’t threaten us with this stupid match anymore. It wasn’t exactly good but it was short, which is the most important aspect of any Goldberg match. I know it would have been insane to change the title here, but it isn’t like they haven’t done something nutty with Goldberg before. This could have been far worse, which is about the benchmark for most Goldberg matches these days.

Video on the Elimination Chamber.

Rhea Ripley vs. Doudrop vs. Bianca Belair vs. Liv Morgan vs. Nikki Ash vs. Alexa Bliss

For the Raw Women’s Title shot at Wrestlemania. Nikki and Liv start, leaving Alexa in her pod, complete with swing (because of course). Liv gets sent into the cage, the Plexiglas and the cage floor until Doudrop is in after about two minutes. Doudrop comes in at #3 and drives Nikki into the cage over and over before cutting off Liv for trying to break it up. A missed charge sends Doudrop into the post though and Nikki is left alone in the ring as Rhea Ripley is in at #4.

The stalking is on but Ripley has to superkick Doudrop. Ripley sends Nikki into the cage and climbs the cage to pose a bit, setting up Riptide to get rid of Nikki at 6:18. Alexa Bliss is in at #5 and gets to clean house, including Insult To Injury for two on Morgan. Back up and Morgan knocks Bliss down and goes up but Doudrop shoves her off the ropes (with Morgan’s leg getting caught) for a crash. Ripley offers a distraction though and Morgan hits a sunset bomb to get rid of Doudrop at 8:51.

Bianca Belair is in at #6 to complete the field as Morgan might have hurt her knee when she got caught on the ropes. Belair hits a scary one armed gorilla press on Morgan and a handspring moonsault hits Bliss. We get the Ripley vs. Belair showdown but they stop to suplex Bliss and Belair instead (with Bliss’ dress falling onto Ripley’s face while she’s upside down). The staredown is on again and they trade some hard slaps to the face. The KOD is broken up but Morgan hits a double Codebreaker.

Bliss is back up with what looked like a running Blockbuster to Morgan, setting up Twisted Bliss for the elimination at 12:08. Bliss hits Ripley with a DDT and the KOD gives Belair the pin at 12:41, leaving us with Bliss vs. Belair. A Code Red gives Bliss two but Belair powers her down. The 450 misses but Bliss can’t hit her DDT. Instead Belair powers her up for a suplex, which is broken up as well. Another DDT is blocked so Bliss rolls her up for two. Belair has had it though and hits the KOD for the pin and the title shot at 15:35.

Rating: C+. The time was all over the place here and I believe this is the shortest Elimination Chamber match ever. The good thing is that they didn’t go nuts by having Bliss win in her return to push her straight to Wrestlemania. As much as I wanted Ripley to win, Belair has unfinished business with Becky Lynch so that is probably the right way to go.

Video on Bobby Lashley.

WWE met with some Special Olympians this weekend.

Naomi/Ronda Rousey vs. Sonya Deville/Charlotte

Deville has a bad arm coming in and as a result, Rousey has to have an arm tied behind her back. Rousey comes to the ring in her judo gear for a different look. We get a video on Rousey before we’re ready to go. Deville and Rousey start things off and believe it or not, Deville’s arm is suddenly fine. Charlotte offers a distraction so Deville can jump Rousey in the corner.

A kick to the head rocks Deville though and a knee to the head does it again. Rousey wants Charlotte, who is fine enough to come in, only to tag right back out. Naomi comes in to jump Sonya but gets sent hard into the corner. A clothesline is avoided with a slide though and it’s back to Rousey, who tries the armbar on Sonya. That’s broken up with a kick to the face though and Charlotte gets to chop away in the corner.

The double teaming continues, with Charlotte kicking Naomi off the apron. A hammerlock goes onto Ronda’s good arm but she manages to knock Charlotte down and bring Naomi back in. The springboard kick to the face rocks Charlotte but Rousey is knocked outside. Back up and the hot tag brings in Rousey, setting up Piper’s Pit to Deville. Charlotte is fine enough to look on as Deville taps to the armbar at 9:12.

Rating: C. It went a bit longer than it needed to but they did what they needed to do. There was no reason to have Charlotte and Rousey do anything important here and they didn’t waste time. Rousey gets to look like a force and Deville will be fine after a quick promo where she abuses her power again. It might not have been great, but it did its job.

We recap Madcap Moss vs. Drew McIntyre. Moss and Happy Corbin injured McIntyre’s neck and put him out for about a month so it’s time for revenge in a Falls Count Anywhere match.

Drew McIntyre vs. Madcap Moss

Falls Count Anywhere and Happy Corbin is here with Moss. Corbin helps jump McIntyre to start and the fight heads outside. Another shot from Corbin wakes McIntyre up so the chase is on, with Corbin bailing to the back. Moss tries to jump the distracted McIntyre but he gets kicked in the face instead. Corbin runs back out to keep Moss from being thrown off the stage and it’s a double suplex to drop McIntyre.

Back in and McIntyre fights back, setting up the reverse Alabama Slam, with Moss landing HARD on top of his head in a terrifying crash. Corbin offers a distraction but Moss charges into a belly to belly on the floor. McIntyre tells commentary to move so he can suplex Moss over the announcers’ table. Corbin is back up to send McIntyre through the barricade for two but McIntyre is fine enough to hit a superplex for his own near fall back inside. The Futureshock sets up the Claymore (with McIntyre holding Angela the sword) for the pin at 9:11.

Rating: C-. What else were you expecting here? McIntyre wasn’t going to break a hard sweat against Moss and this was little more than an extended workout. I’m sure we’ll get McIntyre vs. Corbin at Wrestlemania and it won’t be much better because it’s just finishing this story off. I know WWE thinks it’s a big enough deal but who could possibly be interested in this show?

We recap the Kickoff Show match with Rey Mysterio beating Miz, followed by Dominik beating up Miz for a bonus.

Miz is furious and promises to get a partner to help deal with the Mysterios. He is off for a phone call.

WWE Superstars had fun in Jeddah, because it’s different here.

Raw Women’s Title: Becky Lynch vs. Lita

Lita is challenging and shoulders Becky down to start, earning a YOU STILL GOT IT chant. The Twist of Fame is broken up and Becky snaps the back of Lita’s neck across the top. The stomping is on before Becky kicks away at the ribs. Becky’s middle rope Fameasser brings Lita out of the ropes for two and the Bexploder gets the same. Another Bexploder is countered into a DDT for two and the comeback is on. Lita hits a middle rope crossbody for two and they go to a pinfall reversal sequence.

Lynch gets caught grabbing the rope so Lita pulls her into a sleeper, which Lynch needs the rope to escape. A powerbomb out of the corner gives Lita two and she busts out a Trish Stratus Stratusfaction. A snapmare driver gives Lita two but Becky is back with the Disarm-Her. That’s blocked as well, so Becky hits the Manhandle Slam for two, with Lita getting a food on the rope. Lynch misses a moonsault so Lita hits a Twist of Fate into the Litasault for her own near fall. Back up and Lynch hits a quick Manhandle Slam to retain at 12:14.

Rating: C+. Considering Lita has barely wrestled in years, this was a pretty entertaining match. Lynch wasn’t about to drop the title but they gave Lita a lot here, as they should have. I do like bringing in these legends to face the champions on occasion, as it is a good way to bridge the gap between the major title defenses. Sometimes it’s ok to have a quick story without the drama and that is what they did here.

Post match Becky leaves and Lita gets a bit of a sendoff.

Undertaker is in the Hall of Fame and we get the same long form video from this week’s Smackdown.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Viking Raiders

The Usos are defending…..at some point in the future as they jump the Raiders on the floor and lay them out. No match.

Video on Seth Rollins.

We recap the men’s Elimination Chamber for the WWE Title. Bobby Lashley beat Brock Lesnar to take the title at the Royal Rumble so Lesnar wanted a rematch. This is as good as he can get, which seems to suit him just fine.

WWE Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Brock Lesnar vs. Riddle vs. Seth Rollins vs. Austin Theory vs. AJ Styles

Lashley is defending and it’s Seth Rollins starting with Austin Theory. During Lesnar’s entrance, Cole used the line “playing with the house’s money” for the third time tonight. Rollins hits a Sling Blade to start but Theory is back with a release fisherman’s suplex. Some superkicks put Theory down and it’s a Buckle Bomb into Lashley’s pod to leave Lashley and Riddle laying.

Riddle is in at #3 and beats on Riddle as Lashley is helped out of the Chamber. Rollins catches Riddle on top for a reverse superplex and there’s a frog splash to give Rollins two. AJ Styles is in at #4 and powerbombs Rollins down for a fast two. A double superplex is loaded up but Theory makes the save and powerbombs Rollins and Styles down. It’s supposed to be Lashley in next but since he isn’t here, Lesnar kicks his pod open and starts wrecking people. The F5 finishes Rollins at 9:48 and another F5 finishes Riddle at 10:13.

At the same time, we are told that Lashley will not be back, meaning that there will be a new champion tonight. Another F5 gets rid of Styles at 10:57 and it’s Lesnar vs. Theory for the title. Theory tries to hide in a pod but Lesnar breaks it open and suplexes Theory onto the cage. Theory gets in a low blow and a rolling dropkick, setting up a DDT for two.

Lesnar glares at him so Theory climbs the Chamber and manages to get halfway out of the top before Lesnar pulls him back down. Lesnar slams him head first into the Plexiglas on top of the pod and then F5s him down onto the Chamber floor. That’s enough for Lesnar to win the title at 14:52.

Rating: C. It was short and to the point, which believe it or not was Lesnar gets another World Title, because he hasn’t had one in all of a few weeks now. I’m curious to see how Lashley is tied into the whole thing as he has a case to get another title shot, though it wouldn’t surprise me to see it ignored so we can do Reigns vs. Lesnar. Again. For both titles. Since no one else in WWE matters. Again.

Lesnar poses for a long time to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. It was better than most of the Saudi shows but it was about as ho hum of a card as you could have had. There were some good enough matches, but the focus was on setting up Brock Lesnar, Becky Lynch, Roman Reigns and Charlotte for Wrestlemania as WWE continues to rely on the same people over and over. There wasn’t a bad match on the show, though the booking continues to not exactly be the most exciting thing in the world. I’ll take it over the Crown Jewel and Super Showdown shows though so at least it’s a step up.

Results
Roman Reigns b. Goldberg – Guillotine choke
Bianca Belair won the women’s Elimination Chamber match last eliminating Alexa Bliss
Ronda Rousey/Naomi b. Sonya Deville/Charlotte – Armbar to Deville
Drew McIntyre b. Madcap Moss – Claymore
Becky Lynch b. Lita – Manhandle Slam
Brock Lesnar won the men’s Elimination Chamber last eliminating Austin Theory

 

 

 

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Smackdown – February 18, 2022: Keep Them Entertained

Smackdown
Date: February 18, 2022
Location: Smoothie King Center, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: Corey Graves, Michael Cole

We’re taped this week as the roster is in Saudi Arabia for this weekend’s Elimination Chamber. That can make for some interesting shows as the crowd might have to be brought into things a bit more. It’s also the go home show for Elimination Chamber, meaning we are probably in for a lot of hype. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Adam Pearce is in the ring for a contract signing for Charlotte/Sonya Deville vs. Ronda Rousey/Naomi. Everyone comes to the ring and Sonya says she knows how to do this. They immediately start arguing and yelling over each other, because that’s how women interact in WWE. Sonya and Charlotte both sign but Naomi threatens to turn the table over if they don’t stop stalling.

Hold on though because Sonya has a stipulation. A few days ago, Rousey said that she could beat Sonya with one arm tied behind her back, so that’s what she is going to have to do. Ronda is down with that and signs, as does Naomi, and the fight is on. Charlotte has a contract thrown at her and Sonya getting kicked in the head, sending them running off. They kept this short and that might be a good thing.

Sheamus isn’t happy with Ridge Holland losing to Ricochet and wonders if Holland is getting any of this. Tonight, Sheamus will lead by example.

Sheamus vs. Ricochet

Ridge Holland is here with Sheamus. Ricochet starts fast and strikes away before sending Sheamus outside. That means a running flip dive through the ropes but Sheamus is back with a knee choke in the corner. A suplex drops Ricochet and we hit the chinlock. Ricochet fights up and takes it to the floor, only to be fall away slammed over the announcers’ table.

We take a break and come back with Sheamus pounding away until Ricochet manages a tornado DDT. The standing shooting star press sets up a non-running Lionsault for two and Ricochet is getting frustrated. Sheamus grabs an Alabama Slam and goes up top, only to get caught with a super Spanish Fly for a close two. Holland tries a distraction but Ricochet is waiting on him, meaning Sheamus’ surprise Brogue Kick misses. The Recoil gives Ricochet the pin at 10:54.

Rating: B-. That is almost a relief to see as Ricochet gets a win without any major shenanigans. This felt like it actually meant something and that is a lot more than I would have expected. I have no reason to believe that this is Ricochet turning the corner, but at least he won a single match and that is great to see.

Post match Sheamus yells at Holland and shoves him down.

We look back at Rick Boogs “accidentally” getting electrocuted last week on InZayn.

Sami Zayn takes no responsibility for what happened to Boogs last week. Zayn talks about what has happened to him over the last year as we recap the entire conspiracy. Tonight, he makes up for it by getting the Intercontinental Title back.

The Undertaker is going into the Hall of Fame. Well that was expected.

Long Undertaker Hall of Fame video, set to Sad But True by Metallica and American Bad*** by Kid Rock. This of course features all kinds of classic clips and almost every major star talking about what a legend Undertaker is.

Long video on Roman Reigns vs. Goldberg for Reigns’ Universal Title at Elimination Chamber.

Jey Uso vs. Ivar

Jimmy Uso and Erik are here too. Ivar goes with the power to put Jey up against the ropes to start but a superkick cuts that off. The chinlock goes on but Ivar fights up without much effort. The Bronco Buster in the corner sets up a top rope splash to crush Jey, which draws in Jimmy for the DQ at 2:37.

Post match the Raiders clear the ring and get their headgear back.

We look back at Drew McIntyre telling Madcap Moss that their Elimination Chamber match will be falls count anywhere. Moss looks scared, which is usually the case when a big sword is involved.

Here is Drew McIntyre for a chat. He talks about how he used to live near New Orleans and found out that the only people who can drink with the Scots are people from around here. McIntyre has spent a lot of great time around here, but now he is getting ready to go face Madcap Moss in Saudi Arabia.

Since the match is anything goes, McIntyre can do anything from hitting him in the face, sending him into electrical equipment or drowning him in the Red Sea. McIntyre even asks fans to send him ideas on what to do to Moss because he has a 20 hour flight. Cue Moss and Happy Corbin, with Moss promising to laugh all the way home. They make fun of McIntyre’s neck but he promises to make the laughter die at Elimination Chamber. That hashtag idea is smart, as it’s always a good idea to engage the audience in some way.

Shinsuke Nakamura wants to kick Sami Zayn in the face.

Intercontinental Title: Sami Zayn vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Nakamura is defending and they take turns driving each other into the corner to start. Sami gets in a shot to the ribs but Nakamura fights back with kicks and knees. Another knee has Zayn down but the knee from the apron only hits floor to put Nakamura in trouble. We take a break and come back with Zayn grabbing a chinlock. Nakamura fights up so Zayn mocks the NAKAMURA chants and hits a clothesline for two.

Another chinlock doesn’t work either, as Nakamura gets out and hits the sliding German suplex for two of his own. Sami is right back with a Michinoku Driver (which dropped Nakamura on his head) for two more and they head outside. Nakamura kicks a diving Sami out of the air but his running knee hits the steps.

We take another break and come back again with Zayn working on the leg. Nakamura fights back but gets his leg kicked out again, setting up the Blue Thunder Bomb to give Zayn two more. Zayn pounds away in the corner and mocks Nakamura’s COME ON but the kick in the corner is blocks. That means Nakamura can kick him in the head and again against the ropes (in a callback to their classic Takeover Dallas match). Kinshasa is loaded up so Sami rolls outside to avoid being kneed in the face. Sami trips him down and rams the leg into the post, setting up a hard kick to the knee for the pin and the title at 18:12.

Rating: B. This was a long match with Zayn getting smart by taking away Nakamura’s greatest weapon. That made for a good story throughout as Nakamura couldn’t strike away at Zayn, who hung in there long enough to beat him. They had to change the title here as Nakamura had held the thing for six months without doing much of anything with it. Zayn has his conspiracy theory deal and this is as good of a payoff as there was for the whole thing.

Booker T. met with some children at a community center in Dallas as part of Black History Month.

Aliyah is very proud of Ricochet for being Sheamus. Ricochet is so excited by his win that he almost sounds like a human being. With Ricochet gone, Sami Zayn comes in to brag about his own big win.

Video on the men’s Elimination Chamber match.

Here are Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman for the big final showdown with Goldberg. Reigns tells New Orleans to acknowledge him and tells Heyman to celebrate him. Heyman says this is the best part of his day because standing next to greatness is spiritually orgasmic. He talks about how you might not have gotten to see some greatness in person, including Drew Brees….who meant nothing because he played for the New Orleans Saints.

That means a WHO DAT (Saints chant) chant, which doesn’t please Heyman that much. Heyman: “The eleventh commandment on the Island of Relevancy: thou shalt not interrupt the Wise Man’s promo.” Heyman promises Reigns will keep the title tomorrow but here is Goldberg to interrupt. Goldberg picks up a mic and then drops it, leaving Reigns to say he was going to give Goldberg one last chance to acknowledge him. That doesn’t seem likely as Goldberg gets in Reigns’ face and says Reigns isn’t next. When it comes to the Universal Title, Goldberg is next. Staring ends the show. Whatever gets Goldberg out of here the fastest.

Overall Rating: C+. You had two matches of note and both of them were quite good, but the st of the show was lacking to say the least. Now in this case, that is a lot more acceptable for two reasons. Not only was this the go home show with the final push towards Elimination Chamber, but it was also the second two hour show in front of this same crowd. What we got was good, but you could tell they were clipping a lot of corners to keep the crowd from getting totally burned out.

Results
Ricochet b. Sheamus – Recoil
Ivar b. Jey Uso via DQ when Jimmy Uso interfered
Sami Zayn b. Shinsuke Nakamura – Kick to the knee

 

 

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Unforgiven 2007 (2022 Redo): This Is A Show That Exists

Unforgiven 2007
Date: September 16, 2007
Location: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Layfield, Joey Styles, Taz

We’re in that weird period where we have a lot of Summerslam rematches and some of them are a bit more interesting than others. There are a few interesting possibilities though, as Undertaker is returning to face Mark Henry and Randy Orton is getting another WWE Title shot at a furious John Cena. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at Undertaker returning, although this one is a bit more intense and detailed. This time Undertaker is shown in the middle of a desert standing on a mountain (or close enough). And nothing else is happening on the show apparently.

ECW World Title: CM Punk vs. Elijah Burke

Punk is defending and we see a recap of him taking the title from John Morrison. Then Morrison got busted in the steroids scandal so here is Burke challenging instead. Burke getting a jobber’s entrance should tell you all you need to know about this one. They fight over a lockup to start with neither getting anywhere early on. Now it’s to the mat, where Burke has to bail to the ropes to escape a cross armbreaker.

Back up and Burke starts elbowing at the head, only to get kicked right back down. Kicks to the legs and back keep Burke in trouble but he pulls Punk down out of the corner to take over. We hit a double arm crank until Punk mule kicks his way to freedom. The running knee in the corner sets up the springboard clothesline for two so Burke bails outside. Punk tries to go after him but gets pulled down for a crash (and a loud thud).

Back in and a running forearm to Punk’s back gets two and we hit the Boston crab. A screaming Punk makes it over to the rope for the break so Burke rolls some German suplexes. An STO gives Burke two and it’s off to something like what Rhea Ripley would dub the Prism Trap (minus the swinging around). Punk slips out and hits an enziguri, only to get punched in the head for two. Burke slaps him in the face on the mat a few times, only to get rolled up for the fast pin.

Rating: C+. Points for the quick and surprise ending there as that’s a nice thing to see for a change. There was almost zero doubt about the winner here and that doesn’t make for the best result. Burke had to be reheated after his feud with Punk was over about a month and a half ago but what else were they going to be able to do here? The ECW roster is rather weak at the moment and with Morrison gone, this is about as good as they could have done.

We look at the saga of Matt Hardy vs. MVP, which eventually saw them being forced to team up. Then they won the Tag Team Titles, which they have to defend tonight.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: MVP/Matt Hardy vs. Deuce N Domino

MVP/Hardy are defending and the challengers have Cherry with them. Matt and Domino look to start but MVP tags himself in to grab a wristlock instead. There’s a slam to put Domino in and MVP tags out via a slap to Matt’s chest. Hardy hits a neckbreaker on Deuce and brings MVP back in, allowing Deuce to take over in the corner.

MVP jumping bulldogs his way out of trouble and mocks Matt’s screaming elbow, allowing Deuce to get back up. Matt tags himself back in and teases his own Ballin. MVP snaps so Domino uses the distraction to come in and clean house. The chinlock doesn’t last long but an elbow to the face gives Deuce two. Something like a seated abdominal stretch goes on but he fights up and scores with the Side Effect.

That’s still not enough for the tag though as Domino knocks MVP off the apron and grabs another chinlock. MVP walks out, leaving Hardy to kick out of a suplex/high crossbody combination. Now MVP gets back on the apron as Matt hits a double clothesline. Another slap brings in MVP, who takes his time coming in to clean house. Ballin connects but Matt tags himself in and hits the Twist of Fate to retain instead.

Rating: C. This was much more about storytelling than the wrestling and in this case, that’s ok. The Matt/MVP story isn’t about the tag team stuff, which is little more than a way to keep things going until we get to the big showdown. The good side though is that the tag stuff has wound up being entertaining anyway so nothing has gotten boring yet. Totally fine match, but Deuce N Domino could have been anyone.

Matt celebrates with all three titles, just to rub it in to MVP.

Rey Mysterio acknowledges that he is not at 100% coming into tonight’s triple threat title match but he’s going to give it his all. He overcomes the odds and will do it again to win the title, just like he did last year.

HHH vs. Carlito

Only HHH can get disqualified. HHH elbows him to the floor to start and then punches away back inside. Carlito gets knocked outside again so let’s bring in a trashcan. Instead, HHH clotheslines him right back to the floor, this time following with a drive into the barricade. Back in and some elbows to the back keep Carlito in trouble, with a backbreaker making it worse. We hit the abdominal stretch as you don’t often get to see HHH picking someone apart like this.

HHH even grabs a rope, then switches to the hair when the referee goes to check. The hair finally gets him caught and the referee breaks it, earning himself some booing. They head outside again with Carlito being thrown over the announcers’ table but coming back with a bell shot to take over.

Back in and Carlito chokes away with a cable before switching to a different form of choking. The apple is loaded up but HHH Punches it out of his mouth. You don’t do that to Carlito, who pounds away with the trashcan for two more, leaving JR to wonder what kind of an apple Carlito had. A belly to back suplex onto the trashcan gets two so Carlito loads a fresh trashcan into the corner.

That takes way too long though and HHH hits a clothesline. There’s the jumping knee into the facebuster for two and HHH hammers away in the corner. Carlito finds some powder to blind HHH but a chair shot is countered into a spinebuster. The referee has to take a chair away from HHH, so it’s a low blow behind the referee’s back, setting up the Pedigree to give HHH the pin.

Rating: C+. This was about as good as you were going to get out of Carlito vs. HHH, as Carlito has never been anything resembling a threat at this level. Even stacking the deck against HHH didn’t make this a tough one, as HHH cut him apart and then won in the end. That being said, there is something fun about HHH beating Carlito down and then cheating ala Ric Flair to win in the end. Not a dramatic match, but it was fun.

Batista hits on Maria and then promises to win the World Title because the time for talking is over.

Video on Beth Phoenix wrecking everyone on her way to Candice Michelle and the Women’s Title.

Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Candice Michelle

Michelle is defending and grabs a headlock to start. Phoenix isn’t having that and lifts her into the air by the arm. A wristdrag takes Phoenix down but she knocks Candice into the corner without much effort. The double arm crank goes on as Phoenix doesn’t exactly seem to think much of Phoenix.

An over the shoulder backbreaker has Candice in more trouble but she slips out and forearms away. That earns her a hard drive into the corner though and a gorilla press gives Phoenix two. Another backbreaker is loaded up but Candice reverses into a crucifix for the fast pin to retain the title.

Rating: C-. They were trying here but it was a glorified squash until Candice stole a win to retain the title. The good thing is that it sets up a rematch and it is hard to imagine that Phoenix doesn’t pick up the title in the second match. Candice is absolutely trying though and the match was more boring than bad, which is a step up from some of the stereotypical Divas matches.

Great Khali is ready to crush people and retain the title. He even demonstrates the Vice Grip on a some melons, one of which has a Rey Mysterio match applied.

We recap Great Khali defending the Smackdown World Title against Rey Mysterio and Batista. Khali is the unstoppable monster and the odd friends are going to try and get the title off of him. It is probably time for a title change, but Khali retaining, just because of WWE’s love of monsters, wouldn’t be shocking either.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Great Khali

Khali is defending and has to fight off both of them at once. Rey is sent outside, leaving Batista to get stomped down in the corner. That’s broken up and Batista hits the shoulders to the ribs until Rey comes back in. More double teaming is teased but Rey rolls Batista up for a surprise two. A springboard seated senton drops Batista but Khali kicks Rey in the face.

Batista blocks the Vice Grip for a bit before Khali manages to get it on. Rey’s chair to the back breaks it up, earning himself a punch to the face. Batista is sent outside, leaving Khali to get stomped down in the corner. Rey manages to fight out of a nerve hold but gets kicked in the face. The Vice Grip is loaded up again but Batista makes the save and ties Khali in the ropes. Rey is right there with a quick 619 to Batista and another to Khali. Batista powerbombs Rey onto Khali though and the spinebuster is enough to finish Khali to give Batista the title back.

Rating: C. This was about as good as it was going to get as it was basically Batista and Rey taking their turns against Khali, who could only do so much. The good thing is they did what they could and it could have been a lot worse. Batista getting the title back is one of the better ideas, as he can keep it warm until they get on to the next thing while still feeling like a big deal in his own right.

Batista celebrates for a long time.

Long recap of Hornswoggle being revealed as Mr. McMahon’s son.

HHH congratulates Batista on winning the title but reminds him how hard it is to keep it.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

London and Kendrick are challenging. Kendrick and Cade start things off with Kendrick grabbing a hammerlock. A hiptoss gets Cade out of trouble and he puts on a headlock to slow Kendrick down. Murdoch comes in and gets armdragged into an armbar, allowing London to hit a top rope elbow to the arm. There’s a top rope stomp to the arm, setting up a slingshot kick to Murdoch’s face to give London two.

Everything breaks down for a bit and the champs are knocked outside, setting up stereo dives. Back in and Murdoch knocks Kendrick off the apron for a hard crash. That’s good for two back inside and Murdoch sends him into the corner to give Cade his own near fall. Something like a middle rope powerslam plants Kendrick for two more, with London having to make the save.

The neck crank goes on to keep Kendrick down until he slips out, as you might have guessed because it was a neck crank. Cade charges into a raised boot in the corner so Murdoch goes up, only to try an ax handle to a downed Kendrick. Since that move is only designed to have Kendrick raise his boots to knock Murdoch out of the air, he raises his boots to knock Murdoch out of the air.

The hot tag brings in London to clean house, including a springboard double stomp to Cade’s back. A standing shooting star press gives London two and Kendrick’s high crossbody gets the same. Murdoch kicks Kendrick in the face for two more as everything breaks down. Sliced Bread is countered and Cade’s sitout spinebuster finishes Kendrick to retain the titles.

Rating: C+. These teams work well together and they got to do it again here, which was nice to see on the bigger stage. Brawlers (or however you describe Cade/Murdoch) vs. fast high fliers will work every time and that was the case again here. The match might not have been a classic, but it was a fine way to use some pay per view time (and almost the most given to any match on the show).

We recap John Cena vs. Randy Orton for Cena’s Raw World Title. Cena retained the title at Summerslam so Orton Punted Cena’s dad in the head, sending Cena into a rage. And a rematch.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Cena is defending and his dad is in the front row. They stare each other down and then slug away in the middle of the ring with Cena getting the better of things (shocking). Orton gets sent hard into the corner and they head outside with Cena standing on his head. Cena’s dad continues to have the angriest glare on his face as Cena takes it back inside to keep up the beating.

Orton catches him with an uppercut for a breather and there’s the hanging DDT for two. A sleeper goes on but Orton reverts to form and switches it into a chinlock. Cena actually has to power out and starts hammering away in the corner, eventually shoving the referee for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Well that was kind of lame, as this seemed to be more of a match to bridge us between the first match and the big blowoff instead of something that actually mattered. It wasn’t even eight minutes long and a good chunk of that was spent in a chinlock. Cena being angry and wanting to hurt Orton makes sense, but this felt like it should have been a run of the mill Raw main event rather than a pay per view title match.

Post match Cena goes after him again but gets his neck snapped across the top. Cena’s dad tries to make the save but gets beaten down again, drawing out Cena for the save. Cena grabs the STF so Cena’s dad can add a Punt of his own. That worked, even if the kick was kind of (understandably) terrible.

In the back, Coach yells at John Cena’s dad and makes Cena vs. Randy Orton III in a Last Man Standing match. Cena runs in to grab Coach by the lapels and say you don’t mess with family before throwing him down.

We recap Mark Henry vs. Undertaker. Henry attacked Henry and put him out of action a few months ago, meaning it is time for revenge. And pain.

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

Henry wants Undertaker out here, which triggers the big intro, complete with gong. The set even falls down to reveal Undertaker’s symbol, which catches on fire. Undertaker rises up and yeah this is going to hurt. Henry backs up from the staredown and Undertaker starts punching away at the bell. A charge is pulled out of the air though and Henry drives him into the corner.

Undertaker headbutts his way out of trouble but Old School is broken up. Instead it’s a superplex to bring Undertaker crashing back down but he doesn’t take kindly to being kicked in the face. A clothesline knocks Henry outside and Undertaker punches him up against the barricade. Undertaker stops to glare at the referee though, allowing Henry to hit what might have been a low blow.

Back in and a splash gives Henry two, followed by a second for two more. The third misses though, meaning it’s time for the slugout. Undertaker tries what looks to be a Downward Spiral but it gets countered into something like an STO (or Henry didn’t know how to take it). There’s another splash (ok we get the idea) but this time Undertaker sits up when Henry doesn’t cover.

Some charges in the corner set up Old School and the chokeslam drops Henry for another two. Henry cuts off a charge with a bearhug so Undertaker grabs him by the throat. That’s countered with a drive into the corner so Henry can rain down right hands. Since Henry has apparently not watched an Undertaker match in the last seven years or so, he earns the Last Ride out of the corner to give Undertaker the pin.

Rating: C+. I can go for Undertaker throwing people around and that Last Ride looked pretty awesome, as Henry pretty much crashed down from the ropes. Undertaker was going to win here, but it was about bringing him back and putting him straight into the main event scene again. Good enough power brawl, even if it wasn’t about the drama over the results.

Undertaker signals that he wants the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. It says a lot that it felt like nothing happened here despite the World Title changing hands. The wrestling was decent enough, though nothing is worth watching and some of the matches are forgettable just a little bit after the show ended. The show isn’t bad and there are some completely watchable parts, but it is the most skippable show I can remember in a very long time.

 

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – September 17, 2007 (2022 Redo): Adoption Issues

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 17, 2007
Location: Sommet Center, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with the waste of time that was Unforgiven and now it is time to start getting ready for No Mercy. Last night’s show was so important that they have already announced the main event for next month’s pay per view. John Cena got disqualified against Randy Orton, so it’s time for a Last Man Standing match for Cena’s title. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of John Cena vs. Randy Orton, with Cena snapping over Orton attacking Cena’s father.

Here is John Cena to get things going. Cena knows he hasn’t been himself lately and he wants to say he is sorry. Tonight he is better though and he feels FABULOUS. It feels like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders because he lost to Randy Orton! Last night his dad had the guts to show up and make him the proudest son in the world. Orton is stupid enough to think this is over and want a rematch. Then there is Coach, who made it even worse for Orton by giving him a Last Man Standing match at No Mercy.

That means no rules, no pinfalls and no disqualifications, so what he did last night is perfectly legal. At No Mercy, he is going through Orton like a hot knife through butter….but here is Coach to interrupt. Coach says that Cena should be glad he still has a job after last night, so tonight it’s payback time. Tonight it’s Orton vs. Cena, which works rather well for the champ. Hold on though, because Coach didn’t mean this Cena, but rather Cena’s dad, who can either have the match or have Cena stripped of the title.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin

Hardy is defending and gets caught in a northern lights suplex just after the bell. An atomic drop sets up the legdrop between the legs to put Benjamin down though and Hardy takes over. There’s an armdrag into an armbar and they fight over a top wristlock. A backdrop puts Benjamin on the apron and there’s a kick to the chest to put him outside. Hardy hits the required dive to take Benjamin down again and we take a break.

Back with Benjamin working on a neck crank (with the replay showing Hardy missing the Whisper in the Wind and getting kicked in the head) before pounding away in the corner. A neckbreaker gives Benjamin two and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up as well and it’s a double clothesline for a double knockdown. Now the Whisper in the Wind can work but Benjamin grabs a backbreaker for two more. A reverse DDT gets the same so Benjamin puts him on top, only to get shoved down. The Swanton retains Jeff’s title.

Rating: C+. You knew these two were going to be able to have a good match with each other due to pure talent and it was a completely fine TV title defense for Hardy. It’s a way to get Hardy back on track after he got squashed by Khali last week so this was about as fine of a way as he had to be back to normal again.

The Diva Search finalists play beach volleyball. I think you get the idea here. In case you didn’t, there is a limbo competition on WWE.com.

Coach joins an annoyed Vince McMahon in his limo to try and calm him down. Vince is annoyed about Hornswoggle….who is in the limo also, eating Lucky Charms and restrained by tape because he’s an infant. How we didn’t hear Hornswoggle until the camera was on him is not clear, but Coach takes him inside (biting ensues).

John Cena tries to talk his dad out of wrestling tonight but Cena’s dad insists on doing it.

Santino knocks on the Divas locker room door, looking for Maria, but finding Jillian Hall instead. Maria wanted to see the Condemned, even though Steve Austin’s performance was worse than Britney Spears at the Video Music Awards. Jillian: “LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!!” Santino wants to impress Maria so Jillian suggests a country duet together (Nashville and all). She starts a little Achy Breaky Heart and Santino agrees to save his ears. Don’t worry either, as he has another idea.

Vince McMahon is still yelling at Coach but they hear Irish music coming from Vince’s office. The office is now filled with green balloons and shamrocks, plus piles of Lucky Charms. Vince: “THIS IS ON YOU!” Hornswoggle pops up so Coach chases him off as a unicorn pops up to scare Vince.

Jim Duggan vs. Daivari

Flag match because reasons. Daivari goes for the flag to start but gets pulled back down. They take turns pulling the others to the mat until Daivari gets crotched on top. Duggan punches him down, then sends him into the post and pulls down the flag for the win.

Cody Rhodes volunteers to take John Cena’s dad’s place against Randy Orton but Coach turns him down. John Cena comes in and threatens Coach, who gives Cena a match tonight. If Cena wins, his dad is off the hook, but if not, the match is still on.

Here is Vince McMahon for a chat. As you might have seen last week, he has indeed fathered a son in Hornswoggle, who comes out doing a jig. Vince kneels down next to Hornswoggle and says that when he dies, Hornswoggle will get a lot of money. Hornswoggle: “Money money!” Vince has some papers with him tonight….because he is putting Hornswoggle up for adoption!

Cue a couple (Ed and Alice Koskey) with their attorney but Hornswoggle hugs Vince. That doesn’t sit well with the boss, so Hornswoggle pulls down Ed’s pants and bites the back of Alice’s dress. The Koskeys run off so Vince gets serious and tells him to get away from him. Vince throws him out and the fans are not happy with him. He insists that anyone here would have done the same thing but here is HHH to interrupt.

HHH takes credit for decorating Vince’s office earlier, which was difficult because it’s hard to find a unicorn around here. He knew Vince had slept with some trolls, but he didn’t know about elves, fairies and hobgoblins. Vince: “I’VE NEVER SLEPT WITH FAIRIES!” HHH: “That’s not what I read on the internet.” HHH thinks the Genetic Jackhammer had too much genetic Jack Daniels and now he’s a genetic jackass.

It isn’t surprising though, because he is short tempered, short sighted and a certain part of him is microscopic. Vince: “Are you finished?” HHH: “That’s the same thing Hornswoggle’s mom asked you the night you slipped her the shillelagh.” Just between them, did they do it on the Yellow Brick Road? Vince is livid, but one more question: was she magically delicious? Vince puts him in a match right now, which I believe had been mentioned earlier.

HHH vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Non-title. Joined in progress with HHH clotheslining them down as Carlito comes out to watch. We settle down to Cade hitting a neckbreaker for two as we’ll be having tags in this one. Murdoch comes in and pounds away in the corner, setting up a Blockbuster for two. Cade grabs the neck crank before switching to a leg lariat for two. HHH fights up without much trouble though, knocks Murdoch off the apron, and finishes Cade with the spinebuster.

Rating: C-. I know it’s HHH, but beating the Tag Team Champions on your own so quickly isn’t exactly the easiest thing to see. It would be nice if there were some other villains who could have taken this spot but that isn’t how the tag team division works. This was about having HHH break a sweat before we get to continue the epic HHH vs. Carlito feud. I’m sure there are twelve people out there who want to see it keep going.

Post match Carlito, Cade and Murdoch stomp HHH down but Paul London and Brian Kendrick make the save. Cade and Murdoch leave so Carlito gets Pedigreed. HHH isn’t sure what to think….and Pedigrees both of them.

Candice Michelle/Mickie James vs. Melina/Jillian Hall

Beth Phoenix is at ringside. Mickie and Melina lock up to start until a neckbreaker takes Melina down. Jillian shoves Mickie off the top though and gets to come in to toss Mickie down by the hair. That’s about it for Mickie being in trouble though and she gets over for the tag off to Candice. House is cleaned and the Candy Wrapper finishes Jillian in short order.

Post match Beth Phoenix comes in to glare at Candice.

The Condemned is on DVD tomorrow.

Vince McMahon is leaving and recaps the night, with Coach saying no one has seen Hornswoggle since Vince yelled at him. With that, Vince gets in his limo to leave, with Hornswoggle popping out of the trunk.

John Cena vs. ???

Non-title and if Cena wins, his dad is out of the match with Randy Orton. The opponent is….Santino Marella, which has Cena wondering if this is serious. So Santino is doing this to impress Maria, but Coach agreed to it? Cena initiates the finishing sequence and hits the Shuffle but Randy Orton runs in to jump Cena for the DQ.

Post match Orton handcuffs him to the ropes. Cue Coach to say that the match is still on, because Cena had to win the match by pinfall. That feels like a quick correction for Orton hitting the wrong person.

Randy Orton vs. Mr. Cena

For reasons I don’t want to fathom, Orton went backstage during the break and does a full entrance here. John Cena is still on the floor and handcuffed to the bottom rope. The bell rings so Orton knocks him down and starts the stomping while looking down at Cena on the floor. The beating continues until Cody Rhodes runs in for the DQ.

Post match Orton sends Rhodes into the steps and RKO’s Mr. Cena. With his dad down, Cena unhooks the turnbuckle to escape and chases Orton off to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Outside of Vince now having a son and interacting with him, this felt like a show where almost nothing changed. Cena still wants to wreck Orton for what he did to his dad, HHH is still tormenting Vince and….what else is there here? It isn’t a bad show, but it seems like everything is in a holding pattern until everyone gets back from their suspensions. Understandable, but it isn’t making things easy to watch.

 

 

 

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Smackdown – September 14, 2007: Let The Fighters Fight

Smackdown
Date: September 14, 2007
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 5,200
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

It is the go home show for Unforgiven and we are now set for a triple threat World Title match. Great Khali will be defending against Rey Mysterio and now Batista, which sounds like a way to keep Batista vs. Great Khali from wrecking a show. Hopefully we can get some more good stuff going this week because Unforgiven could use the hype. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look back at Rey Mysterio defeating Chavo Guerrero last week, only to get wrecked by Great Khali after. Batista came in for the save, with Teddy Long adding him to the Unforgiven title match to end the show.

Opening sequence.

Michelle McCool vs. Victoria

Chuck Palumbo, with his motorcycle, and Kenny Dykstra are here too. Victoria drives her into the corner to start but gets caught in a headlock. With that not working for Victoria, she slams Michelle face first into the match and grabs something close to a Muta Lock. A trip to the floor goes badly for Michelle but they come back inside to chop it out. Some dropkicks have Victoria in trouble but Dykstra goes after McCool. That means Palumbo goes in after her and we take a break. I think you know what that means.

Rating: C-. This was a slight step above the usual catfight stuff that you might see but it wasn’t exactly good. What matters is that they are trying and I’ll take this as a bit better of a story than what we usually get. That being said, there is no particular endgame for all of these people and that has been a problem for a long time now. With no title around here, what is the point of all of these fights?

Chuck Palumbo/Michelle McCool vs. Kenny Dykstra/Victoria

Joined in progress with Palumbo knocking Dykstra into the corner and hitting a delayed vertical suplex for two. Dykstra gets driven into another corner but he gets a boot up to cut off a charging Palumbo. It’s off to work on Palumbo’s leg, with Dykstra cranking away. Palumbo fights out without much trouble and punches him down, setting up the tag to Victoria. Michelle comes in to kick Victoria down for the pin as Palumbo takes care of Dykstra.

Rating: C-. Adding the men didn’t help much and the match wasn’t all that great in the first place. Palumbo is doing what he can but there is a limit to what he is capable of doing. Throw in Dykstra not being all that interesting either and this was only going to be so good. The women were barely involved, making the mixed tag a bit of a wasted stipulation.

Jesse and Festus come in to see Teddy Long, who is glad they’re here but tonight is his bachelor party. Some women come in to dance with Teddy, plus his son and some wrestlers, including Butch Reed. Dancing ensues.

A rather large druid is in the ring and he unmasks as Mark Henry. This proves that Undertaker isn’t the only one who can do hocus pocus, but his power is even greater. We see a video of Henry wrecking Undertaker, sending him away a few months ago. That is real power….and then the Undertaker video takes over the feed again. He’s back at Unforgiven, as we have known for about a month now. Back in the arena, Undertaker’s symbol lights on fire and Undertaker’s voice says Henry will rest in peace on Sunday.

The Diva Search is coming back, complete with the same video from Raw. There is even a beach volleyball competition up on WWE.com.

Matt Hardy has MVP beaten at chess but MVP sneezes and breaks up the board. That’s ok too, as Matt has gotten MVP a match, which happens to be next.

Shannon Moore vs. Jamie Noble

Fallout from Noble losing his mind over Hornswoggle. Moore slugs away in the corner to start before sending Noble’s hand into the buckle. The armbar keeps Noble in trouble as the fans think that something sucks. Noble slips out and hits him in the face, setting up a double underhook pull. Moore rolls his way to freedom and hits a basement dropkick for a breather, only to get backdropped to the apron. That’s fine with Moore, who sends him outside for a bit flip dive off the top. Back in and a Rock Bottom backbreaker gives Noble two but Moore thinks he sees Hornswoggle. The distracted Noble gets rolled up for the pin.

Rating: C. The action was good because these two are that good at what they do, but at the same time, there is only so much that you can do when the main story is all about one of them chasing a leprechaun. I’m not sure I can picture the feud lasting that much longer, but this Noble vs. Hornswoggle deal has been a rough watch for a long time now.

Kristal is worried about the wedding but Vickie Guerrero convinces her to go into a locker room…where her bachelorette party is waiting on her. Wedding night attire is given.

MVP doesn’t want to have his match but is told he has to.

Domino vs. MVP

Cherry, Deuce and Matt Hardy are here too. MVP is in street clothes and strikes away to start before hitting a facebuster. Domino knocks him down though and hits a legdrop for an early two. We hit the neck crank so Matt tries to start an MVP chant but gets SUCKS as a response. The chant does start a comeback but Domino blasts him with a clothesline to cut him off again. A knee and an elbow get two and a butterfly suplex sets up a chinlock. Another MVP/SUCKS chant off brings MVP back up but Deuce offers a distraction. Matt takes care of him but the distraction lets Domino grab a small package for the pin.

Rating: C. This was a weird one but it is nice to see MVP getting back in the ring for a slightly more physical match. It felt like he was wrestling a regular match here, with the time getting extended a little more than last time. At the same time, it was cool to see the Matt vs. MVP story continuing, as it is starting to get more interesting week by week.

Post match Matt says he and MVP will retain the titles at Unforgiven, so let’s have that chant one more time!

We see the opening video again.

Raw Rebound.

Back to the bachelorette party, where Kristal, now in her wedding night clothes, gets a delivery. You know it’s Big Dick Johnson before I even say it, so we’ll just move on with the visuals you are probably expecting.

Great Khali, through Runjin Singh, promises to retain the title with a double Vice Grip. That’s pretty specific.

Kane vs. Finlay

Belfast Brawl, meaning street fight. Finlay jumps him from behind to start and the fight is on outside. Kane gets sent into the barricade but punches Finlay back down and takes it inside. An exchange of elbows to the head goes to Finlay and he stakes the leg out to put Kane down for…well zero actually. Kane pulls him away from the ropes for a crash and knocks Finlay outside for a big crash.

Finlay isn’t about to have that and dropkicks him through the ropes on the way back in. A clothesline on the floor puts Kane down again and Finlay sends him arm first into the steps. Kane gets in a shot of his own though and we take a break. Back with Finlay staying on the arm, which is the kind of logic that you don’t get often enough. The bad arm is slammed onto the apron and a chair shot to said arm makes it even worse.

Some kicks to the arm have Kane down in the corner and it’s time to take a turnbuckle pad off. Kane slips behind him though, only to miss a charge into the buckle. The armbar goes on again before the shoulder goes into the post as this has been almost one sided. Kane manages a big boot to knock him outside though and that’s good for a needed breather. It’s time to rip off some of the barricade pad, allowing Kane to drop Finlay face first.

Finlay gets sent into the announcers’ table as well but comes back with a thumb to the eye. Back in and Kane hits the corner clothesline, setting up the side slam. There’s the top rope clothesline (Cole: “It’s like getting hit by a jumbo jet!” No Cole, it isn’t.) and they head back to the floor for a bit boot to Finlay’s jaw. The steps are brought inside but Finlay hits him in the ribs with a chair. The Celtic Cross is enough to give Finlay the pin.

Rating: B. This is the kind of match that works so well for the two of them as they are both great at this style. It was all about hitting each other really hard and that works well for a pair of brawlers. It’s rare enough to see Kane take a clean loss and on top of that, it is nice for Finlay to get one of the bigger wins of his career.

Teddy Long and Kristal, both in various states of undress, realize that they are both up to various things. Glares are exchanged but everyone shows up, allowing Ron Simmons to hit the catchphrase. Dancing ensues to end a funny bit.

Unforgiven rundown.

Batista vs. Great Khali

Non-title. Batista slugs away to start but gets shoved down. There’s the big chop to put Batista down again and it’s time to stomp away in the corner. A clothesline looks to set up the Vice Grip but Batista blocks it with straight power. They head outside with Batista driving him into the post before heading back inside for a spinebuster. The threat of a Batista Bomb is countered with a backdrop though and the Vice Grip goes on. Batista goes straight to the ropes but Khali won’t let him go and that’s a DQ.

Rating: C-. Given that we ware less than two days away from these two having another bad match at Unforgiven, this was about the only way they could have gone. They could only do so much here as Khali is still that limited, just in case you needed more proof that it is time to move on. We get the concept already, so have Batista slay the dragon and get the title back.

Post match the hold stays on until Khali finally lets go to end the show (albeit after a great shot of a terrified fan) with Batista vibrating on the mat.

Overall Rating: B-. The Belfast Brawl carried this thing and was one of the better TV matches in a long time. What mattered was making me care about the Smackdown half of the pay per view though and this show only kind of made that happen. The main event isn’t interesting as it is either someone finally stopping Khali or the reign continuing, neither of which is all that exciting. It will be a relief if he loses the title, but it is a beginning rather than the big moment. That’s for Sunday though, and at least we had a good TV show to get us there.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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New Column: A Stone Cold American Nightmare

Call this one a double shot.

 

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/kbs-review-stone-cold-american-nightmare/




Monday Night Raw – February 14, 2022: The Same Problem Every Time

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 14, 2022
Location: Gainbridge Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Jimmy Smith Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s the go home show for Elimination Chamber and that means it’s time for a lot of talking about the matches that have already been made for Saturday’s show. It also means that we are in for another limited commercial show, because if there is one thing WWE needs, it is more content. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video now has a voiceover saying “FOREVER. TOGETHER.”

Here is Bobby Lashley with MVP to get things going. Lashley talks about having to go through the Elimination Chamber to get to WrestleMania as WWE Champion. The Chamber has shortened careers and impacted lives….but so has he. MVP says there is 16% chance of Lashley retaining the title, but when you add in the Almighty Quotient, it is about 100%.

Cue Seth Rollins to interrupt, saying that Lashley looks great, but not as great as he does. Rollins talks about how Lashley is champion right now but he knows someone who can take the title. MVP threatens Rollins with Lashley violence but here is Riddle, in a toga, to interrupt. Riddle thinks the Elimination Chamber is like last week’s quiz bowl (Rollins isn’t sure) because he remembers being locked in a gas station bathroom. When the security guard let him out, Riddle knew he could do anything. Imagine him as the WWE Champion to go with his Tag Team Titles when he and Randy Orton win them back soon.

Riddle invites the two of them to the toga party but here is Austin Theory to interrupt. Vince McMahon has taught him so many things that he can use on Saturday that he has to win. Cue AJ Styles to say he has to win because he needs a defining Wrestlemania moment. Maybe he could walk in as the US Champion (which he can become tonight) and WWE Champion! Riddle says that would be cool, but not as cool as AJ coming to the RKBroga party!

Lashley says he’s the only one who has won an Elimination Chamber and runs down everyone else’s chances. That includes Brock Lesnar, who comes out to interrupt, tips his cowboy hat, and takes his time getting into the ring. Brock takes off the jacket and hat, and puts them on Theory. Lesnar and Lashley go face to face so Theory jumps….well over Lesnar actually. Suplex City ensues as everyone else leaves. Lesnar gets his hat back and uses Theory’s phone for a quick selfie. To be fair, the hat really works for him. This was the latest revolving door segment and as usual, it only kind of succeeded.

The Street Profits run down tonight’s card.

Street Profits vs. Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode

We see a clip of Dolph Ziggler coming to NXT and getting in a fight with Tommaso Ciampa. As a result, Ciampa is here on commentary. Ford dropkicks Ziggler at the bell so it’s off to Roode for a swinging Rock Bottom. Ziggler is back in for a shot to the face and his own two but Ford’s kick to the head allows the double (jumping) tags. Dawkins cleans house until Roode catches him with a powerslam for two. Hold on though as Ciampa needs to get up and applaud Ziggler. The threat of a superkick makes Ciampa throw water in Ziggler’s face, leaving Dawkins to Anoint Ziggler. Ford’s frog splash is good for the pin at 2:44.

Post match Ziggler superkicks Ciampa but bails from the Street Profits going after him.

We look back at RKBro winning the Quiz Bowl last week.

We go to the RKBroga party, where Riddle wants to know where Randy Orton is. Queen Zelina thinks it’s for her but Riddle starts a BROGA chant.

Randy Orton is in another locker room and seems to find this dumb. He also wants to be ready for his match against Seth Rollins, because Rollins is always planning things. This is Monday, so Rollins is going to take the RKO.

Rocky Johnson Black History Month video.

We look at Kevin Owens not being able to get into the Elimination Chamber, which hurts him even more because he can’t be WWE Champion in Texas.

According to a fan poll, Owens is LYING about his love of Texas.

Kevin Owens is sad that he can’t be in the Elimination Chamber, but at least that means he doesn’t have to be in the Elimination Chamber in Texas. He can’t stand Texas, just like he can’t stand Indianapolis. Owens is from the intelligent and sophisticated Canada.

US Title: AJ Styles vs. Damian Priest

Priest is defending and takes Styles down by the arm to start. A quick slam gives Priest two and we hit a chinlock with a knee in Styles’ back. Styles fights up but the Styles Clash is countered into a flapjack. Something like a Dominator gives Priest two but Styles comes right back with a Pele kick. That’s enough to send them outside, where Priest spinwheel kicks Styles’ leg out in a clever knockdown. Back in and Styles kicks him in the face and loads up the Phenomenal Forearm, only to have Priest grab the ropes. That’s enough to let Priest grab a rollup for the pin to retain at 4:34.

Rating: C+. That was better and I was surprised by the result. Priest needed a win to put him back on the right path and a clean pin over Styles is a good way to get there. The good thing is that Styles can absorb a loss where he gets caught like that a good bit more than Priest, who had been on a pretty nasty run as of late. Now just let him be a monster again and we might be getting somewhere.

Post match, Styles nods at him in respect and shakes Priest’s hand.

We go back to Alexa Bliss’ therapy, where she is looking a bit more normal, with her hair down and in more regular clothing (though I’m not sure where it would be regular). The therapist says, aside from the incident in the grocery store, last week was good. It was so good, that she has earned a gift. What would she like it to be? Actually she would like the music to stop, but he has something else in mind: Lilly’s unstuffed body, and the stuffing to go with it! She gets a bit shaky but the therapist pulls out a backup, and still constructed, Lilly doll.

Omos vs. Cedric Alexander/Shelton Benjamin

Alexander tries to sneak up on Omos but gets claw shoved into the corner. Shelton comes in and gets beaten down as well, leaving Alexander to get chokeslammed for the pin at 1:34. Total dominance.

We look back at Dana Brooke turning down Reggie’s unspoken offer of romance.

Reggie and Dana Brooke are having a platonic Valentine’s Day dinner but Tamina and Akira Tozawa, in disguise, are here too.

It’s back to the RKBroga party, where Riddle gives Kevin Patrick a pep talk when the Street Profits show up. That means Angelo Dawkins gets to dominate at beer pong, earning himself some cheers.

Adam Pearce is in the ring for a contract signing between Becky Lynch and Lita. After Lita comes to the ring, Becky comes out looking depressed, with much less gaudy clothes than usual and sunglasses on, though she can barely look ahead. Becky sits down and says Lita doesn’t have to do this. She hasn’t slept all week as she can’t imagine doing this against her teenage idol.

Lita asks the fans if she should tear up the contract or sign it and shut Becky up. She isn’t back for one more match but one more run. That’s one more championship run, and the match is happening if Becky wants it to or not. Lita signs, which makes Becky say Lita is pushing her.

Becky gets more serious and says she will do everything to keep the title on her shoulder. Now Lynch signs, so Lita says that it is on her to finish it. The only thing that is ending on Sunday though is the 500 day title reign (not quite) when Lita wins the title. Becky puts her glasses back on and leaves all sad. This was kind of weird and didn’t exactly work, but at least they tried something different.

Video on the Elimination Chamber.

Gauntlet Match

The winner gets to enter the Elimination Chamber last with Rhea Ripley in at #1 and Nikki Ash is in at #2. We’re joined in progress with Nikki tying her in the ring skirt to hammer away before going with the armbar. Ripley fights up but gets taken right back down into a cravate, which doesn’t do much good. With that broken up, Rhea hits some clotheslines but the Riptide is countered as well. Ash goes up but her crossbody is countered into…something where Ripley drops her. Not that it matters as Riptide finishes Nikki at 4:17.

Liv Morgan is in at #3 (now in much brighter gear) and we hear her talk about how she has been in the Chamber again. She’ll survive again though, just like she always does. We take another break and come back with some rollups getting two each before Morgan hits a running elbow in the corner. The chinlock goes on but Rhea fights up, only to get caught in a hurricanrana faceplant. Back up and Ripley grabs the Prism Trap, sending Ripley away for the escape. A superkick sets up Riptide to get rid of Morgan at 14:04.

Doudrop is #4 and they start by shoving each other a bit. Ripley has to power her way out of a headlock and an exchange of shoulders doesn’t go anywhere. An exchange of headbutts sets up a belly to back suplex to drop Ripley and Doudrop splashes her for two. Ripley is back up and hits a dropkick to put Doudrop down but the standing clothes just wake Doudrop up. Riptide is blocked and Doudrop headbutts her, only to get kicked in the head. A pretty fast Riptide gets rid of Doudrop at 23:48 and Bianca Belair is in at #5.

Back with Ripley in trouble but Belair goes to the apron for her kiss it deal. After backflipping over Ripley, Belair hits a delayed vertical suplex (with some high steps) for two. The abdominal stretch goes on for a good while before Belair hits the handspring moonsault for two more. Belair knocks her outside but gets sent into the steps to put both of them down and we take another break.

Back again with Belair faceplanting her for two but Ripley is right back with a failed Riptide attempt. Belair puts her on top for a slugout with Belair getting the better of things. Another handspring moonsault only hits knees though and Ripley goes up top for a heck of a missile dropkick for two more. The Prism Trap goes on again but Belair rolls out and hits a spinebuster. The KOD finishes Ripley at 40:34…and I guess we’ll find out who is entering the Chamber last on Saturday because that’s it.

Rating: B-. This was a match that got a lot of time and that is a good thing, as sometimes a very long wrestling match is the best thing for a show. Ripley gets to look like a star and while I don’t imagine her having the best chance on Saturday, it was good to see her getting some significant ring time for a change. Belair winning is a perfectly fine way to go, though I was kind of expecting to see the sixth entrant return here. Anyway, good, long match here and that often helps.

Respect is shown post match.

Back at the RKBroga Party, Riddle plays the guitar and sings until the Alpha Academy jumps him from behind. Riddle is left laying, with Chad Gable saying the party is over, bro.

We go back to the restaurant, where R-Truth and company chase after Dana Brooke (with the referee getting some food samples), who hides with Reggie. Dana is rather happy but Reggie wants to take their friendship to the next level. She politely turns him down again, so Reggie rolls her up to win the title. After Reggie and then the regular selection of nitwits mock Brooke, the waiter asks if that will be cash or card. At least the story seems to have ended, for now.

Mysterios vs. Alpha Academy

Non-title. Hold on though, as Chad Gable has to insult the crowd by putting them on double secret probation, even if they are probably already on some kind of probation. Then you have these same people helping RKBro win the Academic Challenge, LIKE IT WAS FAIR! Why were we talking about Michelangelo the turtle instead of the painter? Then there is Dominik, who had to cheat to beat Miz last week. Cue Miz and Maryse for commentary and we take a break before the bell.

We come back joined in progress with Otis splashing Rey, setting up Gable’s suplex for two. Rey fights up without much trouble and hands it off to Dominik for some suplexes and the Eddie Guerrero dance. Gable cuts him off with a tiger suplex for two as Rey makes the save. The Academy is sent outside and we take a break.

Back again with Dominik diving over to make the hot tag to Rey, who headscissors Chad down. Otis has to make a save so Dominik breaks that up, leaving Gable to take a double 619. Rey dives onto Miz at ringside so Dominik goes up for a high crossbody, only to have Gable roll through and grab the tights for the pin at 10:34.

Rating: C. Not too shabby of a tag match here, but the stalling before the match felt like they were trying to fill in time rather than having anything to say. At the same time, the Mysterios continue to be a tale of two wrestlers, as Rey feels fun even in his late 40s and Dominik is just there. Find something new for him, because this isn’t exactly interesting.

Post match Miz throws Dominik outside and gives Rey the Skull Crushing Finale.

Back to Alexa Bliss’ therapy, where the therapist tells her she can go. Bliss even has the replica Lilly doll, which she knows isn’t the real thing. He tells her to always have it by her side and she can have a good life. Before she leaves, she tells Lilly she’s cured and then announces that she’s the final entrant in the Elimination Chamber.

Smackdown Breakdown.

Elimination Chamber rundown.

Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton

Of note: Rollins made his way to the ring, then there was a break, then there was Smackdown Breakdown and the Chamber rundown, or over six and a half minutes ago. We then take ANOTHER break after Orton’s entrance and ring the bell about ten minutes after Rollins made it to the ring in the first place.

We finally get going with Orton taking him into the corner and hammering away, only to get dropped face first onto the top turnbuckle. The Stomp misses though and Orton clotheslines him to the floor. Even commentary knows what’s coming and they are absolutely right as Rollins is dropped onto the announcers’ table. Back in and Orton’s hanging DDT is countered with a backdrop to the floor, setting up Rollins’ knee off the apron.

A suicide dive sends Orton over the announcers’ table and we take a break. Back again with Orton hitting the top rope superplex for a double knockdown. Orton is fine enough to hit the powerslam for two but Rollins is back with a low superkick for two of his own. The Stomp misses and Orton backdrops the Pedigree attempt to the apron. Now the hanging DDT can connect and the RKO connects….as Alpha Academy runs down. Riddle cuts them off but the distraction is enough for Rollins to hit the Stomp for the pin at 15:17.

Rating: C+. It’s a good match between two people who have wrestled each other so many times that they could probably do this in their sleep. The match was mainly about advancing the Tag Team Title feud and I’ll take that over either of them getting a clean pin. Nothing we haven’t seen before, but they know how to do this very well.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was a fine example of what is wrong with Raw most of the time: it doesn’t feel like they have enough material to fill in a three hour show. I’m not sure how many rosters could ever do that on a full time basis, but it’s even harder when the roster has been gutted like this one. They didn’t exactly make me want to see Elimination Chamber, but the show was already set coming into this week. Even after Saturday though, they really need to find something to fill in the time around here, because all the stalling isn’t doing them any favors.

Results
Street Profits b. Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode – Frog splash to Ziggler
Damian Priest b. AJ Styles – Rollup
Omos b. Shelton Benjamin/Cedric Alexander – Chokeslam to Alexander
Bianca Belair won a gauntlet match last eliminating Rhea Ripley
Alpha Academy b. Mysterio – Rollup with tights to Dominik
Seth Rollins b. Randy Orton – Stomp

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

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Monday Night Raw – September 10, 2007: The Reveal

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 10, 2007
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Attendance: 5,800
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for the big reveal as this week will see the reveal of Vince McMahon’s illegitimate son. This is the kind of story that feels like it should be a huge moment, with Mr. Kennedy feeling like the likely surprise, but that pesky steroids suspension seems to be throwing a wrench into the plans. That should open up a new door too, so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We’re starting fast because here is Vince McMahon, with Coach, to get things going. Vince recaps the story, saying that he has an illegitimate son and that he is a “WWO” (Vince: “Let me try that again.”) superstar. Vince blames the mother for causing all of these problems before informing the fans that Coach DOES NOT suck. The only thing that makes Vince feel better is that his son isn’t from Green Bay, like Mr. Kennedy, who is on the current WWE Magazine. Vince happens to have a copy, which he has Coach rip up.

Enough of that though, as Vince wants to know who his son is, which brings out Great Khali. Runjin Singh translates for Great Khali, who said that “things are looking up” must mean him and he would be proud to be called The Great McMahon. Cue JBL to interrupt to talk about how he and Vince both love money. JBL: “Put Big Gulp on a leash.” Even in this market, he can guarantee and things are looking up. Vince owns wrestling and JBL is a wrestling god. They even go to the same barber!

He would love to be John Bradshaw McMahon but here is Jeff Hardy to interrupt this time. Coach: “What are you doing out here?” Jeff: “I’m not really sure.” Jeff thinks “things are looking up” might mean him diving off the ladder, but he certainly hopes he isn’t the son. JBL yells about Hardy and Khali’s hair, but here is Mr. Johnson, the son’s mother’s lawyer.

Vince goes into a rant about how much he hates attorneys before being told his son will be revealed at some point tonight. For now, the only thing Johnson will reveal is that Vince’s son is NOT Jeff Hardy. Jeff: “PRAISE THE LORD YEAH!” That celebration earns Jeff a singles match with Great Khali later tonight.

We see some photos of the South African tour, including Paul London and Brian Kendrick winning the Tag Team Titles from Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch, only to lose them back three days later.

Paul London vs. Lance Cade

Brian Kendrick and Trevor Murdoch are here too. Cade headlocks him down to start so London pops up with a hurricanrana. A belly to back suplex drops London right back down and we hit the neck crank. That doesn’t last long either as London is up with a springboard missile dropkick. Murdoch tries to offer a distraction….but it lets Kendrick come in for Sliced Bread. London adds the running shooting star press for the fast pin.

Rating: C. They kept this moving and it was a way to bridge the feud to Sunday. I like the title switches on the tour as it gave this feud a bit of life, as otherwise it was just London and Kendrick getting another title shot. You can only get so far when there is no chance of a title switch and now they gave the thing a bit more interest.

We recap Randy Orton attacking John Cena’s dad two weeks ago, sending Cena over the edge with an attack on William Regal last week. As a result, Cena is barred from the building this week.

Coach tells Vince McMahon that William Regal is doing better but has a lot of recovering to do. As a result, Coach has banned John Cena from the building tonight, which Vince doesn’t like. Coach has another idea though, as he brings in the man who the fans have voted as the second most likely star to be Vince’s son: Stevie Richards! Vince cracks up laughing and sends Stevie away before asking Coach who was #1 in the audience vote. That would be HHH, which doesn’t sit well with Vince.

We look back at HHH beating up Carlito and REALLY beating up Umaga.

Carlito is ready to destroy HHH on Sunday at Unforgiven. As for tonight, Carlito is full of surprises.

HHH vs. Shelton Benjamin

Carlito is at ringside. HHH wins an early slugout and sends him shoulder first into the post. It works so well that HHH does it again before throwing Shelton into Carlito. We take a break and come back with HHH fighting out of a chinlock but getting DDTed for two. The chinlock goes on again so HHH fights up again, only to get caught with the spinning clothesline from the top. HHH’s standing clothesline connects to put both of them down for a breather. Back up and HHH hits a spinebuster, setting up the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: C. This was more like the old school Benjamin and that is a very good thing to see. It’s great to have him showing off his offense and he looked like his old self here. That being said, he was little more than cannon fodder for HHH, which isn’t a big surprise. Nice match here, as HHH continues to get back to normal.

Post match Carlito goes after HHH but gets cut off. Cue Coach to say Vince McMahon is sick of HHH being disrespectful. Therefore, Carlito vs. HHH at Unforgiven is now No DQ….for Carlito only.

A car arrives and since it isn’t John Cena’s, he can roll right in.

Here is Randy Orton, with security, for a chat. Orton knows John Cena is watching at home, maybe with his dad. If that is the case, he needs to turn the volume down because his dad’s head must be throbbing. This Sunday at Unforgiven, it is one year since Cena won the WWE Title. Orton is in Cena’s head though and he is going to use that opening to take Cena down. Cue Cena through the crowd to get his hands on Orton but security holds him back so Orton can escape.

In the back, Vince McMahon yells at Coach for not keeping Cena out. Cue security, who still can’t hold Cena back. Cena gets in Vince’s face and says, as a man, that he knows what is happening to Orton at Unforgiven. Orton is going to feel pain and vengeance in his bones for Cena’s father. That is something even Vince can understand, and with that, Cena leaves.

Mickie James vs. Jillian Hall

Candice Michelle is on commentary. Mickie flips out of an early snapmare attempt but gets whipped into the corner. That means a handspring elbow connects to give Jillian two as Candice talks about facing Beth Phoenix. Jillian pulls her down hard out of the corner and seems to rub Mickie’s face into her chest. Apparently it wakes Mickie up enough to kick Jillian in the head for the pin.

Post match Beth Phoenix runs in to take both of them out so Candice runs in for the failed save attempt.

Sandman vs. Santino Marella

Before the match, Santino mourns the loss of Luciano Pavarotti, but at least he passed away before he had to see Steve Austin in the Condemned. Santino doesn’t understand this lack of culture but Sandman’s entrance cuts him off. Once Sandman gets rid of the kendo stick, Santino starts pounding him down and goes after the leg. A splash hits raised knees though and Sandman knocks him outside. That means a big dive (there’s a surprise) from Sandman but Marella uses the kendo stick for the DQ.

Post match Santino tries to break the stick over his own knee but hurts himself. Sandman gets the cage to chase him off.

Post break Maria is talking to Ron Simmons about Santino being so different lately. She thinks they might need to split up but here is Santino to jump Simmons. Santino even does Simmons’ catchphrase, which should signal his doom.

The Diva Search is coming back. Great. We get the first look at the finalists, including Eve Torres, Taryn Terrell and Lena Yada.

Unforgiven rundown.

Great Khali vs. Jeff Hardy

Non-title. Khali throws him into the corner to start for the elbow to the face. The Whisper in the Wind is knocked away and Khali hits a big boot. The Vice Grip finishes Hardy in a hurry. Your Intercontinental Champion everyone.

Post match here is Batista to spear Khali down without much effort.

Here are Vince McMahon and Coach for the big reveal, with the male roster surrounding the ring as well. HHH comes out last and Vince isn’t exactly pleased. Vince knows that one of these men is his son and wants to know who gets to be a McMahon. He wants to know who it is right now but here is Mr. Johnson on the Titantron. In accordance with his client’s wishes, he is going to eliminate some of the possible names.

First up, the son is not extreme, meaning ECW is out. Vince: “Thank God it’s not Balls Mahoney.” The son also has a fondness for gold, meaning he is a current or former champion. Next up is that the son’s skin is fair, which Vince (rather rapidly) points out means he is Caucasian. Vince has everyone left get in the ring, as he is told that the son’s hair is fair as well.

That leaves us with Sandman, JBL, Lance Cade, Trevor Murdoch and HHH, though the fans want Kennedy (not here). Vince shoots that down before giving us the next clue: “Individual.” That takes Vince some time to figure out but it means he isn’t a tag wrestler. The final clue: the son loves to play the game.

That seems to leave HHH, who isn’t happy either. Vince says this isn’t right, with Johnson agreeing. The son loves to play games, such as hide and seek or marbles….because it’s HORNSWOGGLE! HHH nearly falls over in laughter as Hornswoggle pops out, grabs Vince’s leg, and puts his hat on Vince’s head to end the show.

So there’s your big reveal. After several weeks, we get Hornswoggle as the big gag blowoff, which was disappointing back in the day and it’s disappointing now. This time it isn’t WWE’s fault as the Kennedy suspension blew up what could have been a career making story, but ultimately there is only so much that can be done when the key player is gone. Hornswoggle was a bit funny and there is some good comedy potential, but it feels like it could have been so much more.

Overall Rating: C-. This was ALL about the big angle at the end, with the wrestling being a complete afterthought. That made for a weird show, as Unforgiven took a backseat as well, leaving the pay per view without much of a final push and the big story with a pretty lame resolution. Again, it isn’t WWE’s fault this time, but it is still pretty disappointing.

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 




Smackdown – September 7, 2007 (2022 Redo): This Story Is Really Stupid

Smackdown
Date: September 7, 2007
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

We are almost up to Unforgiven and now we have a bit of an odd main event. This time around, Great Khali will be defending against Rey Mysterio, which kind of leaves Batista out in the cold. Other than that, we might be seeing some wrestlers written off of television for a month after the latest steroid scandal. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Rey Mysterio winning a mini tournament last week to become the new #1 contender.

Opening sequences.

It’s time for the VIP Lounge with MVP having the US Title and the Tag Team Title on a table. After talking about how great he is, we get straight to the guest with Matt Hardy. MVP brags about giving Matt all of his success and shows a clip of MVP getting the pin to win the Tag Team Titles last week. We see another clip of MVP in his locker room after winning the titles when Matt came in, decked MVP, and took his belt. Matt thinks he looked like Evander Holyfield out there but he still wants another US Title shot. MVP starts getting things cleared out but it’s not for a US Title shot. Instead, MVP has gotten Matt his own singles match.

Deuce vs. Matt Hardy

Domino, Cherry and MVP are here and Matt is in street clothes. Joined in progress with Deuce hitting a shoulder in the corner but Matt shoves him out of the corner. A clothesline gives Matt two and he strikes away, only to get caught in a hot shot. Deuce grabs the neck crank before a fist drop sets up a reverse chinlock. Make that a front facelock as there is a lot of locking going on.

Back up and Matt cuts off a superplex attempt, setting up the middle rope elbow to the back of the neck. There’s a double clothesline to put both of them down but Domino offers a distraction. MVP shoves him into the ring and with the referee distracted, trips Deuce down. The Twist of Fate finishes for Matt without much trouble.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match here but Matt/MVP is growing on me. I know MVP is still limited in what he can do in the ring but this is a nice little change instead of having them feud with over the US Title. I’m sure that’s coming down the line, but this is starting to work, at least for the time being.

Jamie Noble has an AKME Leprechaun Trap to catch Hornswoggle, complete with a trail of Lucky Charms. Shannon Moore doesn’t know what to think. You know, this company will mock WCW endlessly, but this was a dumb deal when Chavo Guerrero had an Acme Eddie Trap and it’s dumber now to see it done again.

Rey Mysterio is facing Chavo Guerrero in an I Quit match later tonight so we look at their first WWE match back in 2002. Of note, Tazz says “Six Nineteen.”

Chuck Palumbo vs. Kenny Dykstra

Victoria is here with Dykstra, so Palumbo has Michelle McCool on the back of his motorcycle. Who would have thought she would have a thing for bikers? JBL: “She could be hit with an ugly stick and still be hot.” Palumbo grabs a belly to back suplex to start but Dykstra goes after the arm. That doesn’t last long as Palumbo hits a clothesline and a shoulder as McCool beats up Victoria for going near the motorcycle. The Full Throttle finishes Dykstra in a hurry.

Vickie Guerrero and Kristal are excited for the wedding when Teddy Long comes in. Teddy has the new Jagged Edge CD and has gotten them to perform at the wedding. Kristal’s mom calls so she leaves, with Vickie suggesting that Long give Vince McMahon the CD. It’s called the Baby Making Project after all.

Chavo Guerrero cost Rey Mysterio the World Title at Great American Bash 2006.

Batista/Kane vs. Great Khali/Finlay

Runjin Singh is here with the villains. Batista and Finlay start things off and they actually go with some grappling to start. A headlock takeover puts Finlay down and an atomic drop makes it worse. Finlay is sent in the corner and Batista wants Khali but he gets a break instead. Back with Finlay being taken into the corner again so Kane can take drop him for two more. A suplex gives Kane two and now it’s Khali coming in for the battle of the giants. Singh offers a distraction though and Finlay low bridges Kane out to the floor.

Back in and Finlay stomps Kane down in the corner, setting up the chinlock. It’s back to Khali for the nerve hold, followed by some forearms to cut off a comeback attempt. The enziguri staggers Kane but Finlay pulls Batista down and drives him into the apron. Back in and Finlay sends Kane’s shoulder into the post but Batista breaks up the Shillelagh shot. The double clothesline knocks Khali outside and it’s a chokeslam to finish Finlay.

Rating: C-. This was working well enough when Finlay was in there but then you had the Khali parts to bring it right back down. You can only get so far with the claw holds and the nerve holds but it’s about all Khali has. That makes for some pretty rough stretches when he needs to fill in time on a fifteen minute match. The rest of the match worked out, but dang the (already limited) shine is already coming off of Khali.

Hornswoggle gets the cereal and leaves the Cruiserweight Title in the trap. Jamie Noble goes to get it and Hornswoggle traps him. This story is dumb.

Rey Mysterio beat Chavo Guerrero at No Mercy 2006 in a Falls Count Anywhere match.

Jesse and Festus are here and find….a talking box! It seems to be named Jamie Noble.

Cruiserweight Title: Jamie Noble vs. Hornswoggle

Noble is challenging and isn’t here to start. The referee starts the count and here is Noble….who gets counted out at the last second. The struggle continues.

Long recap of the McMahon Family drama on Raw.

Commentary talks about what happened with the McMahons but an Undertaker video hacks the feed. Then a druid appears in the ring so here is Mark Henry. Instead of going after the druid, Henry waits and the lights go out. Undertaker’s music plays and that’s it.

Unforgiven rundown.

Here is Chavo Guerrero with a chair, which he promises will make Rey Mysterio scream again tonight.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

I Quit match. Chavo wins a slugout to start and knocks Rey into the corner so Rey takes a breather on the floor. It’s already time for the chair but Chavo keeps missing, allowing Rey to kick him in the head. A running hurricanrana sends Chavo over the announcers’ table but he’s fine enough to send Rey into the post. Chavo goes to drive the knee into the chair, only to get sent face first into it instead. Rey loads up the springboard splash but Chavo pelts the chair at him to cut that off fast. Neither will quit though and we take a break.

Back with Chavo holding something like a one legged Liontamer until Rey fights out. That earns him a toss underneath the ropes and out to the floor. Now the chair can connect with the knee and Rey starts screaming. The chair is wrapped around Rey’s neck and slammed into the post but somehow Rey is back with a kick to the head.

Back in and a top rope seated senton drives Chavo through the chair but he is fine enough to hit a Gory Bomb onto the chair. Chavo goes up and gets crotched (because he felt the need to point at the ceiling for a long time), earning him a spot in the Tree of Woe. Rey unloads with chair shots (and camera cuts) to make Chavo quit.

Rating: B. This wasn’t the most violent brawl but that’s not what they were going for here. Instead, this was the personal fight with Rey wanting revenge and refusing to quit again. It was the kind of match they needed to finish the feud for good too as it tied into everything they had done before.

Post match Great Khali comes in and beats Rey down, including the Vice Grip to make Rey bleed from the mouth. Cue Batista for the save, with a spear sending Khali outside.

In the back, Teddy Long yells at Khali and Runjin Singh. If that’s how they want to do it, we’ll make Unforgiven a triple threat match with Batista included.

Overall Rating: C. Unforgiven is not the best looking show on the Smackdown side but I don’t think they have time to add much else. Undertaker vs. Mark Henry will be one of the bigger deals but how exciting is that going to be? The other big match will be for the World Title and all that matters is getting the belt off of Khali. It has run its course and now things need to move on before he wrecks things even further. The main event helped bring up some other stuff here but it wasn’t one of the better efforts.

 

 

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