It’s the go home show for Backlash and the main story is the Ministry being totally out of control. The Corporation is fighting them as well as they can but there’s just too much going on for them to do much good. Other than that we’ll get the fallout from Rock throwing both Austin and the title belt into the river last week. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Smoking Skull belt being introduced and then thrown in the river last week with Austin following it into the water.

Rock drives a hearse into the arena because he buried the title last week. This week it’s going to be a funeral with Rock delivering the eulogy. We even have a casket, flowers, and a big mound of dirt. Rock climbs onto the mound while guaranteeing to show that he’s the best champion ever on Sunday. Simple stuff here but on a big stage.

Vince and Stephanie will do a sitdown interview in Connecticut tonight so Vince is checking with security to make sure Stephanie is safe.

Road Dogg vs. Owen Hart

There’s no ramp this week due to the grave taking up so much space. Before the match, Dogg says that the Outlaws are the #1 contenders but if he loses tonight, Owen and Jarrett are the #1 contenders, no questions asked. However, if Dogg wins, the world gets to see Debra’s puppies. That’s the first time that term was ever used in the WWF so there’s your historical moment.

Owen jumps Dogg to start as Jerry is now a huge Roadie fan. The left hands and shaky knee drop get two on Owen but he comes back with a spinwheel kick (Lawler: “NO!”). A legdrop gets two more for Hart and he nails an enziguri for a close two. Owen drops a middle rope elbow but Dogg kicks out of the Sharpshooter and hits the pumphandle slam for the pin, sending Lawler into orbit.

Rating: D. This was just about the post match stuff and introducing one of the longest running jokes in WWF history to the lexicon. The tag match on Sunday was the more important story anyway, but this is far most historic. It says a lot that Owen and Jarrett were one of the top teams in the division.

Jeff Jarrett prevents the unveiling.

Undertaker sends the Acolytes out to take care of the Brood.

Rock is practicing his eulogy.

Brood vs. Acolytes

Christian is the odd man out here. It’s a brawl to start with the power guys easily taking over to start. Farrooq powerbombs Edge down but the Canadian comes back with a spinwheel kick and some lame kicks to the shoulder. That’s fine with Farrooq as he comes back with a spinebuster and makes the tag to Bradshaw. Gangrel comes in and fights out of a superplex before hitting a quick DDT.

Bradshaw hits a quick fall away slam and brings Farrooq back in for a belly to back suplex/neckbreaker combo. Farrooq works on the back as Lawler’s voice sounds like it’s cracking. Gangrel finally gets over for a tag but Bradshaw takes Edge’s head off before he can get going. The double powerbomb lays out Edge but Shamrock runs in with a ball bat to knock Bradshaw silly for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Not much better than the opener but it had more time and the teams knew how to work a decent match. Neither team would do anything for awhile but once Edge and Christian took off they never looked back. The main event war continues to devour the entire company.

Undertaker is livid at the Acolytes for not getting a pin.

There’s a new special coming. It’s called Smackdown.

During the break, Undertaker and Viscera beat the tar out of Farrooq and Bradshaw.

Intercontinental Title: Godfather vs. Hardcore Holly

Only Godfather’s title is on the line. It’s a slugout to start with Godfather getting the better of it. A boot to the face sends Holly to the floor where he picks up a cookie sheet, only to get rolled up for two. The Ho Train crushes Holly but we’ve got a ref bump a minute into the match. Holly rolls outside again and nails Godfather with the cookie sheet several times before throwing him out to the floor. A hockey stick over Godfather’s back has him in even more trouble but Godfather kicks a chair into Holly’s face. Goldust comes out and breaks up Godfather’s cover, but Snow lays Holly out with Head to give Godfather the pin.

Rating: D-. Did I mention this is Russo time? It’s a three minute and five second match, complete with a ref bump, four weapons and two run ins. I have no idea why the match needed all this stuff but that’s part of Russo’s philosophy: a title match isn’t enough to keep the fans’ entrance so all this stuff has to be thrown in. It works once in awhile but when it happens all the time, the effect wears off.

Undertaker is on the phone with Mideon and tells him not to fail.

Rock is having his shoes shined and promises to bury Austin tonight.

Ken Shamrock vs. Big Boss Man

No holds barred due to Boss Man attacking Shamrock last week to kick him out of the Corporation, though Shamrock is still loyal to Vince. The brawl starts in the aisle with no one in control. Boss Man is sent into the steps and then into the ring for the opening bell. Shamrock kicks Boss Man in the head and they slug it out until an enziguri (hit Ken’s shoulder) puts Shamrock down. A much better pair of spinebusters get three straight two counts and a powerslam gets one more. Boss Man hammers away even more but Ken grabs a hurricanrana and belly to belly out of nowhere for the pin.

Rating: D-. The gimmick brings this down as there was no reason for this to be no holds barred at all. If nothing else it makes future matches with the same gimmick look stupid as fans will say “the last one sucked so why should I care about this one?” As a regular match it wasn’t much to see either.

Undertaker immediately pops up and says he knows where Ryan Shamrock is, even knowing her room number. Ken runs to the back.

The Mean Street Posse comes out for commentary.

Mankind vs. HHH

Some right hands have HHH in early trouble but Chyna pulls Mankind down by the tie and hits him in the face. That doesn’t last long though as a backdrop puts HHH down again and he gets tied up in the Tree of Woe. HHH comes back again and hits the running knee to send Mankind outside. Chyna gets in even more shots as the Posse hasn’t had much to say so far.

Back in and HHH drops a knee for two before clotheslining Mankind out to the floor. Both guys are sent into the steps with HHH getting the better of it and hammering away back inside. The Pedigree is countered but HHH blocks the catapult attempt, so Mankind falls head first onto his crotch. Socko is loaded up but Chyna crotches Mankind against the post for a DQ.

Rating: C-. Better match but that’s still not saying match. These guys were capable of having some classics but they need more than six minutes on a random Raw in the middle of April. The DQ/screwy finishes are getting really annoying tonight, which says a lot given what we usually have to sit through on this show.

Post match the Corporation comes in to attack Mankind but Big Show makes the save. He hits a HUGE chokeslam on Test to send everyone running. Mankind grabs the mic and says thank you very much, but they’ll still meet in his boiler room on Sunday.

Rock is on the phone in the parking lot and says his car cost $40,000.

Billy Gunn vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jeff sends him into the corner and stomps away to start but walks into a great powerslam for two. Owen comes out to trip Billy, allowing Jarrett to clothesline him outside. Road Dogg gets caught trying to help and Gunn is posted. A bulldog gets two for Jarrett but Billy drops him face first onto the top turnbuckle to take over.

Road Dogg helps his partner out with a right hand but Billy and Jeff hit heads to knock each other down. JR is already annoyed at the puppy jokes as Billy nails a neckbreaker, but Debra unbuttons her top to show off her bra. Billy simply drops his tights and hits a Fameasser on Jarrett but Owen comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. That’s almost out of pity as these matches have just been awful tonight. The tag matches make sense for Sunday, but I don’t see the point in having one team win both of the matches. The puppy stuff would dominate anything to do with women for about the next three years, much to JR’s annoyances.

Debra takes off her jacket but Jeff covers her bra with the guitar.

Rock won’t give an interview to WWF.com and tells the interviewer to get him some fruit.

Viscera vs. Big Show

They lock up to start and Big Show easily shoves him to the mat. Viscera takes him into the corner for some fat man splashes, only to get crushed with a clothesline. A rather impressive hiptoss puts Viscera down but he comes back with more fat man splashes. Big Show kicks him in the face to drop Viscera again but the lights go out as he loads up the chokeslam. We’ll say it’s a no contest here after your usual battle of the huge men match.

Undertaker and Paul Bearer come to the ring and we get the real showdown with Big Show. They slug it out and both try chokeslams but Viscera gets back up for the double team. Big Show still won’t go down but Undertaker punches him onto one knee. Mankind comes out to even things up but Undertaker leaves Viscera alone. Big Show superkicks Viscera to the floor. It really is amazing how much bigger Show is than Viscera, who is a massive man.

We look at Shane taking over the Corporation last week.

Vince and Stephanie are in Connecticut for a sitdown interview with Michael Cole. Vince says he’s always been proud of Shane but he wasn’t always there for him. Shane missed a lot as well because Vince wasn’t there, but Vince wasn’t proud last week. Stephanie can’t believe what Shane has done recently but knows that the only person that can keep her safe is Vince.

Security interrupts the interview and says something is going on in the parking lot. Vince tells the guards to stay there with Stephanie and goes after whoever is in the parking lot. It turns out to be Mideon and Vince beats the tar out of him before trying to crush Mideon with his own car. Mideon escapes and gets into the car as we go to a break.

Here’s Val Venis to say he’s solved the Y2K problem. All the ladies have to do is add a few extra bytes of ram from his hard drive and everything will be fine. This brings out Sable who says that’s nice, but she’s got bigger news: in two weeks, she’ll be shooting her second Playboy pictorial. This brings out Ivory and D’Lo Brown and the double brawl is on for no apparent reason. Now Sable’s bodyguard Nicole Bass comes out to destroy Ivory with a chokeslam. Val seems to have eyes for Sable.

It’s time for Rock to deliver the eulogy for Austin. Rock sets the tone with “Dearly trailer park trash”. Oh we could be in for a good one here. Rock isn’t sure if a roody poo like Steve Austin will fit in that casket before we get the real point of this: Rock opens his jacket to reveal the Smoking Skull belt. He runs his mouth about Backlash a bit until you can hear an engine revving.

We go outside and Austin is in a 3:16 monster truck. He goes over to the Rock’s car and puts it in the middle of the parking lot before getting back in the monster truck. Austin teases it a bit by driving around the Lincoln Continental a few times before crushing the brand new $40,000 car, sending Rock into a frenzy.

With that nice and destroyed, Austin drives the truck into the arena and beers are consumed. Back into the truck and Austin runs over the hearse before the fight is on. Rock barely gets in a single shot before Austin nails him with the belt to send Rock into the grave. Austin poses with the title but Shane comes in (remember that he’s the referee on Sunday) and breaks a shovel over Austin’s head to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is where Vince Russo was in need of the leash more than ever. All the stuff in the middle of this show was about as dreadful as you can get because it keeps going so fast that you can’t keep up with anything at all. However, there’s good stuff on both ends of the show that make it worth seeing. As for a go home show though, this really didn’t hold up well either. Most of the matches were just glossed over and the pay per view sounds like it’s going to be a big commercial for the next night’s Raw. That being said, it’s still better than anything WCW was doing at this point and that’s all that mattered.

Here’s Backlash if you’re interested:

John Tenta/Jumbo Tsuruta vs. Road Warriors

Animal press slams Jumbo about three second after the bell but Tsuruta comes back with a lariat before the fight heads outside. Back in and the Road Warriors take over with Hawk hammering away. Tenta comes in off the tag and Hawk can’t knock him around, so we get a big fat man slam instead.

Hawk dives into a bearhug followed by a belly to belly for two. A double clothesline puts both guys down and Hawk brings in Animal, only to have him get double teamed. Tsuruta puts on a leg lock but it’s quickly back to Hawk for a leg lock on Jumbo. That goes nowhere so it’s back to Animal for a powerslam on Tenta, followed by a Rocket Launcher to give Hawk the pin.

Rating: D+. For a rookie, Tenta didn’t do half bad out there. The match wasn’t anything to see unless you’re interested in seeing the Natural Disasters vs. LOD with a much more talented guy subbing in for Typhoon. Granted that wouldn’t be too hard to do. All the leg locks were weird to see if nothing else.

Earthquake would go to the WWF soon after this and start literally squashing everyone in his path. One of his first pay per view matches was at Wrestlemania VI.

Hercules vs. Earthquake

Earthquake misses a charge into the corner to start and Hercules pounds away on him. The big man heads to the floor before coming back in for a test of strength. Hercules goes down almost immediately and Earthquake is in control. The non-disaster comes back with some clotheslines but for reasons of general stupidity, Hercules tries a torture rack which goes as well as you would expect on someone who weighs 468. Two Earthquakes end Hercules.

Rating: D. Quick and easy here as Earthquake was clearly being built up as a huge monster for either Hogan or Warrior. He could certainly move very quickly for a guy his size and he had the talking ability to back it up. Earthquake is often forgotten as a quality monster which is a shame because the guy was pretty awesome.

Later in the month, Earthquake would face fan favorite Hillbilly Jim at Saturday Night’s Main Event XXVI.

Hillbilly Jim vs. Earthquake

First of all, let it be known that Jim’s music is freaking amazing on all levels. Jim wasn’t much in the ring, but he wasn’t supposed to be. He was a gimmick character that worked as well as any ever has. Can you think of a single time that he didn’t get a pop and a half? He was just so ridiculously over because of nothing more than the clapping thing he would do.

Like I’ve said before, he found something that worked and he ran with it. I would almost guarantee that if he came back today as a guest host, he would get the roof blown off almost any arena in the country. The key thing to him was that he was never taken seriously. He wasn’t shoved down our throats as a major player ever and because of that we never got sick of him.

Look at Eugene. He was originally an awesome character that a lot of people marked out for. Then they put him in an 18 minute match with HHH at Summerslam, and to the shock of no one, he got booed out of the building. The point is, keep the comedy characters in the right place.

As for the match, it’s a 90 second squash as Hart distracts Hillbilly and Quake hits a corner splash and two earthquakes to end this. That’s how it should have been. As usual, Quake’s opponent is taken out on a stretcher. That more or less was his gimmick which was fine.

Rating: N/A. It’s far too short to grade, but it did its job so this would have been a positive rating.

Earthquake’s biggest feud would be against Hulk Hogan, as he injured Hogan so badly that Hogan thought he was an intergalactic bounty hunter named Shep Ramsay stranded on Earth with Christopher Lloyd and Shelly Duvall (and the actress that would play Peggy on Mad Men). Their first showdown and Hogan’s return match was at Summerslam 1990.

Hulk Hogan vs. Earthquake

This is Hogan’s big return after being gone all summer due to an attack by Earthquake which broke his ribs. They lock up but Hogan can’t shove the big man around. Now Quake shoves him down a few times as Jimmy is losing his mind. Quake shoulders him out to the floor and Hogan takes a breather with Bossman. Back in and Hogan tries pounding away but Quake sends him into the corner to take him back down. Hogan gets a boot up in the corner and nails some clotheslines but Quake won’t go down.

After knocking Bravo and Hart off the apron, Hogan finally drops Earthquake with the big windup punch. All four guys get inside and the heels both take big boots to the face. The referee puts Bossman out though, allowing Bravo and Quake to hit a double slam on Hogan. A big elbow drop keeps Hogan down and a top rope forearm (from the 468lb Earthquake) to the back has Hogan down again. Off to a Boston Crab but Hogan tries to push his way out. That doesn’t work so Hogan looks to his left and realizes he’s about four inches from the rope for the break.

Bravo gets in some cheap shots on the floor but Earthquake misses an elbow drop back inside. Hogan finally gets to his feet (sidenote: Roddy Piper should not be allowed to cheer for Hogan. Ever.) but falls back down on a slam attempt. Off to a bearhug by Earthquake as the match slows down. Hulk punches out of it and tries a cross body like a schnook, earning the powerslam he gets as a result. Earthquake drops a pair of Earthquake splashes (seated sentons) but Hogan gets up at two to shock the crowd.

It’s Hulk Up time and there’s the slam but Dino distracts the referee after the legdrop. Jimmy comes in but gets tossed at Earthquake, sending everyone to the floor. Hart accidentally hits Quake with the Megaphone and Hogan slams the big man onto a table (it’s in Philadelphia after all)….for a countout? For the life of me I have no idea why Hogan didn’t get a pin here. I guess they wanted to save that for house shows, but it’s not like people wouldn’t want to see Hogan do it again live.

Rating: B-. The match itself was nothing of note but this is exactly what the fans wanted to see other than Hogan getting a pin. These two feuded on the house show circuit for the next four months or so, which really is amazing when you consider how basic the angle was that set it up. This falls into the fun category which is fine for a show like this.

Post match Quake chokes Hogan until Bossman blasts him in the back with a STEPLADDER. Quake finally drops him and looks at Bossman so the cop pulls out the nightstick to chase them off. Lots of posing ensues as you can see the house show rematches with any combination of these four guys being made up.)

They would keep it going at Survivor Series 1990.

Natural Disasters vs. Hulkamaniacs

Earthquake, Dino Bravo, Haku, Barbarian
Hulk Hogan, Big Bossman, Tugboat, Jim Duggan

There’s some actual drama here as Hogan had never beaten Earthquake before this and the other guys balance out somewhat well. Haku vs. Duggan start us off as the announcers talk about the Grand Finale. It’s such a different time when they automatically know who is going to be on what side. Today you would be waiting on the swerve. Duggan pounds away on Haku and a clothesline gets two.

Bravo and Barbarian come in to get some shots but it’s quickly off to Boss Man vs. Haku. Haku dropkicks him down for two but the Boss Man Slam puts Haku out quick. Barbarian comes in next and Boss Man runs him over. Heenan gets taken off the apron and Boss Man punches Barbarian a bit before walking into a suplex. Barbie misses a middle rope elbow and it’s off to Duggan vs. Bravo. Scratch that as Earthquake makes a blind tag and crushes Duggan in the corner. Duggan keeps trying to knock Quake down but Jimmy low bridges him. Duggan brings the board in with him and hits Quake for the DQ.

It’s Hogan vs. Earthquake but Hulk beats up all three guys because he can. Hogan easily slams Earthquake and fires off ten punches in the corner. Quake comes back with a powerslam and tags in Bravo who stomps away before getting small packaged for the pin. There’s the tag to Boss Man who hits his rapid fire punches in the corner. Boss Man goes up for a cross body and oh my goodness Earthquake caught him. That is SCARY. Hogan shoves Boss Man on top of him for two but Barbarian kicks Boss Man in the back to put him down. An elbow from Earthquake eliminates Boss Man.

Hogan vs. Quake again and Hulk tries to drop the big guy. Hulk tries another slam but can’t get Quake up. The third attempt results in Quake falling on Hogan for two. Hulk avoids an elbow and there’s the tag to Tugboat, causing everyone to shout TOOOOT which sounds like booing. Hogan pulls Earthquake to the floor and Quake and Tugboat get counted out. That leaves Hogan vs. Barbarian and the only thing I can think to say is “really?” Barbarian goes after Hogan on the floor and doesn’t hit a piledriver well at all. It gets two and they clothesline each other. Barbarian hits the top rope clothesline, Hulk Up, legdrop, done.

Rating: C-. This was a lot more fast paced and energetic than you would expect. The continued practice of just teasing the encounter that the match is based on is getting REALLY old though as I guess they want to preserve the house show draws, because who would want to see a feud continue after a single match right? My goodness have things changed in the last twenty years.

And one more time on the Main Event V.

Hulk Hogan/Tugboat vs. Dino Bravo/Earthquake

Hogan gets a very solid pop and is the only one of the four to get a reaction at all. According to Vince, Quake and Bravo weigh about 1,300 pounds between them. Think Vince is a bit shaky here for some reason? That’s not rhetorical actually as he’s normally more composed than this. Hogan cleans house on Bravo to start. Bravo and Tugboat are in now and this isn’t going to be pretty.

Bravo actually gets an atomic drop and a very good one all things considered. Hogan vs. Quake now, which is a somewhat big feud still at this point. The slam hits on the first try which is something different for the bald one. Quake gets a nice jump kick that looked pretty good for a man his size. The boating enthusiast gets beaten down as we wait on Hogan to get the tag.

Megaphone to the head ends any momentum he had and we take a break. Warrior is still the symbol on the graphic despite having lost the title and not even being on the card here. The referee misses the tag after the break and Tugboat takes a double slam. Hogan blocks the flying fat drop and we get the hot tag finally. Oddly enough Hogan hits the boot on Bravo and rolls him up for the pin instead of the standard finish.

Rating: D+. Totally standard house show main event here. This wasn’t supposed to be anything epic at all and it definitely wasn’t. These shows were designed to get the top feuds on TV and on occasions like this one, ending the feuds once and for all since Hogan had nothing else to do with any of these guys after this. Nothing great at all but fine for what it was.

Since Hogan had thrashed him all over the place for six months, Earthquake switched over to someone he could actually beat at Wrestlemania VII.

Earthquake vs. Greg Valentine

Valentine turned face a few months ago and this is his big match for the forces of good. We’re 20 seconds in and Valentine is getting powerslammed down for two. A splash misses in the corner and Valentine gets him down to one knee. Quake breaks the Figure Four twice, hits a big elbow and drops the Earthquake for the pin.

Rating: F+. Earthquake was pretty much done as a singles guy at this point but I’m assuming he got some shots at Hogan on house shows over the summer. Other than that though this was a filler match that didn’t need to be on the card at all. Nothing to see here but at least Quake looked dominant.

After this it was time for the most successful period for Earthquake (as far as titles went at least) as he teamed up with Typhoon (the former Tugboat) as the Natural Disasters. One of their first major matches was at Summerslam 1991.

Natural Disasters vs. Bushwhackers

Andre looks terrible here and would be dead in less than 18 months. The Whackers sneak up on the big men on the floor and poke them in the eyes. We finally start with Butch vs. Typhoon and the big man being bitten on the trunks. Earthquake tries to come in but splashes his own partner by mistake. A double clothesline puts Quake down and the Bushwhackers are in full control.

Earthquake finally realizes he weighs more than both Bushwhackers put together and pounds Butch down with a few shots to the back. Heenan makes an obscure Newhart reference as Quake slams Butch into the corner but misses an elbow drop to the back. The second attempt connects though and it’s off to Typhoon for more fat man offense.

Off to an over the shoulder backbreaker on Butch which transitions into a bearhug by Earthquake. Heenan leaves to go find Hogan and embarrass him which we’ll get to later. Quake finally hits Typhoon with a clothesline by mistake as everything breaks down. The Bushwhackers hit Battering Rams on both Disasters but it’s finally the big men crushing Luke and the Earthquake for the pin.

Rating: D-. This was a waste of time and everyone knew it was going to be from the moment the bell rang. The Bushwhackers were the epitome of comedy bumpkins and there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m not sure why they picked them of all teams for Andre to back and the match was horrible.

Here’s a Wrestling Challenge match from some point in 1991. It’s before November at least.

Natural Disasters vs. The Rockers

The Rockers are less than two months away from splitting here, meaning they’re about at their peak as a team. Shawn vs. Typhoon to get things going with the small guy not having any effect at all. Off to Marty vs. Earthquake for a change of pace as the big man crushes him in the corner. The powerslam looks to set up the Earthquake Splash but Shawn makes a last second save.

Typhoon comes in but can’t catch up to Marty, allowing Shawn to come in with a slingshot kick to the chest. Jannetty dives off Typhoon but gets caught in mid air by Earthquake. Shawn makes a save but Marty dropkicks Earthquake’s back, crushing him into Shawn to crush him in the corner. Marty goes after Jimmy Hart, allowing the big Typhoon Splash to crush Shawn for the pin.

Rating: D+. More storytelling than anything else here and that’s fine. The Rockers were in way over their heads here given the size and power of the Disasters and they were headed for a split anyway. This was just a Wrestling Challenge main event so you can’t really expect much out of it anyway.

The team eventually turned face and got a Tag Team Title shot on July 20, 1992.

Tag Titles: Money Inc. vs. Natural Disasters

Don’t you see the connection here? This would be before Mania as Jimmy is with DiBiase and IRS here, despite being with Hogan and Beefcake earlier. Yeah that’s not confusing at all. Irwin’s promo implies this is after April 15 but that wouldn’t add up at all so maybe that’s an error. The champions, Money Inc, tries to leave before the match starts but that gets nowhere. Typhoon and DiBiase start us off.

Everyone goes in there at once and the fat guys do nothing but corner splashes for about two minutes. They follow this up with a BIG splash, just to add some variety. They try it again and Quake misses and hits the floor. No earthquake from it but whatever. DiBiase chokes him with a rope from somewhere. Nothing of note going on here as it’s mainly just punches and kicks.

LONG beatdown segment on Earthquake as the heels do their evil deeds. Crowd is relatively dead here until Quake hits a hiptoss and STILL doesn’t make the tag. We get a comparison of Earthquake to Undertaker which is a matchup that could have been interesting if the timing had been right. Quake was getting to the point of not mattering when Taker arrived.

Tag by Quake doesn’t count since the referee didn’t see it. Double clothesline by Quake as Hart is described as a monkey on helium. Hot tag to Typhoon and the crowd wakes up a little bit. Everything breaks down and the referee tries to get Hart out of the ring. IRS blasts DiBiase in the face with the briefcase and Earthquake drops an elbow….FOR THE PIN? This actually looks like the title change and with nothing else happening…yeah that was a title change.

Rating: D+. Boring match but the crowd popped for the title change, I think due to shock more than anything else. This was their only title reign as they would lose the belts back to Money Inc in about three months. The match was pretty bad but a title change back then was always a good thing. This was a house show mind you, so it’s not like this was well known or anything, making it an actual rarity.

And now a title defense from Summerslam 1992.

Tag Titles: Natural Disasters vs. Beverly Brothers

The Brothers are managed by the Genius and are challenging here. Genius messes up his poem by getting some dates wrong but the fans are already cheering for the fat champions anyway. The challengers try to jump the big guys early on but the champions take their heads off with clotheslines. Both Brothers (Beau and Blake) are crushed in a fat man sandwich, leaving us with Typhoon to start against Blake.

Typhoon pounds away on the smaller man but Blake manages to lift him up for a slam. He can’t turn it over but it was a nice try at least. Everything breaks down for a few seconds until we’re back to more Disaster dominance. Quake accidentally splashes Typhoon in the corner and the ocean themed guy is down. The Brothers double team Typhoon with a splash but he launches Beau to the floor on the kickout.

Hang on a second: Shawn Michaels has left Wembley Stadium!

Back to the match with Blake hitting a middle rope headbutt for a delayed two. Beau holds Typhoon on the ropes so Blake can jump on his back in a move later used by Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin. The Brothers take turns pounding on Typhoon and draw Earthquake in, allowing them to double team Typhoon even more. A headbutt gets two for Blake and it’s off to a front facelock.

Typhoon finally makes a tag but the referee doesn’t see it, likely due to being bored by the match so far. Beau drops an ax handle onto Typhoon’s back but the big man FINALLY clotheslines both Beverlies down but stops to slam Beau instead of tagging out. Blake dropkicks his brother into a cross body on Typhoon for two and Quake has had enough. His save attempt is broken up by Genius’ metal scroll to Typhoon’s back as this match just keeps going. Quake breaks up he cover and gets the hot tag to clean house. A powerslam and the Earthquake are enough to retain the titles.

Rating: D. This just wouldn’t stop as the Brothers got WAY too much offense in here. The problem is the same as it was last year: there was no doubt as to who was walking out with the belts and that makes for a rather boring match. Also, the Beverlies are pretty average size guys so there’s only so much they can do against people like the Disasters.

One more WWF singles match after the team broke up. From November 24, 1992.

Repo Man vs. Earthquake

Uh…sure. I wonder why this was considered a good match. Maybe it wasn’t I don’t know. Going from Smash to Repo Man is one of the best character changes ever. I was STUNNED when I found out they were the same person. This is mostly Quake of course. Crowd is bored to put it nicely.

Earthquake was an interesting case as he went from evil monster that put Hogan on the shelf for the better part of the summer but once he turned on Jimmy Hart he was awesome. The fans always seemed like they wanted to cheer him but weren’t sure if that was ok or not. They do here though and the Earthquake finishes Repo. Short but harmless I guess.

Rating: D+. I said it was harmless but I didn’t say it was any good. One thing that does have to be considered with these is that they’re just dark matches or house show matches thrown on a tape with no real tying theme. For a match just thrown on a card before a TV taping or something like that, this would have been fine I guess. It’s far from good, but it would have been ok for a quick 5-6 minute match to entertain an audience.

After leaving the WWF it was back to Japan, including this match on December 15, 1993 in the WAR promotion.

John Tenta vs. Warlord

A lockup doesn’t get either guy anywhere and neither does a Warlord headlock. Shoulder blocks have no effect either so Earthquake jumps up and down a bit. Warlord slams him down to a BIG pop and even the ring announcer says something. Now the shoulder block works, but Earthquake one ups him with a dropkick. This is a really slow match for the most part. An elbow drop gets two on Warlord but he actually suplexes Earthquake down in a very impressive display of strength.

Earthquake heads to the floor where he drives Warlord into the post. Warlord avoids a charge up against the post but it doesn’t seem to hurt the bigger guy all that much. Instead Earthquake comes back with some splashes in the corner and a powerslam followed by the Earthquake Splash….for two?

The fans are into Warlord now but it’s off to a bearhug to slow him down. Warlord fights out with right hands and takes Quake down with a big shoulder. A nice belly to back drops Earthquake but he’s too fat to slam. Earthquake gets two off a legdrop before getting the pin off a running clothesline and covering the shoulders with all of his weight.

Rating: C-. This was getting going but the ending really felt like a screeching halt. It’s so strange to see the Warlord getting face reactions after so many years as a heel in the WWF. Earthquake was the kind of guy that could make a crowd care about his really basic offense and he showed it here really well.

It was off to WCW about a year later where Earthquake would be called Avalanche because that was what WCW thought was legal. He would be put into a feud with Hulk N Pals (shocking I know), including this match at Clash of the Champions XXX.

Sting vs. Avalanche

It’s a Starrcade rematch and Guardian Angel is guest referee. Avalanche jumps him to start but is quickly dropkicked to the floor and onto some chairs. Tony and Bobby notice that Flair is suddenly nowhere to be seen though his girls are still there. Back in and Avalanche runs him over before just standing on Sting’s chest.

A big elbow has Sting in trouble but Avalanche stops to pose. He takes Sting into the corner and rams the 450lb+ into Sting’s chest. The powerslam gets two but Sting accidentally headbutts Avalanche low to come back. Three straight Stinger Splashes rock the big man and there’s a fourth, setting up a slam and the Scorpion Deathlock. Guardian Angel gets down to check for the submission but referee Nick Patrick runs out to call it instead.

Rating: D+. Sting throwing around big men is always cool to see, but Avalanche is rapidly turning into a joke. Yeah he can hit some nice power moves but he’s lost every match on the Clash so far. He’s just a big guy that doesn’t win anything and that makes it hard to get into his matches.

After that whole gimmick became a mess (and Avalanche became a Shark), he would finally get sick of it and just become John Tenta, who would face Big Bubba Rogers at Great American Bash 1996.

Big Bubba vs. John Tenta

Oh dear. This is over the Dungeon of Doom, who was one of the worst big stables ever, cutting half of Tenta’s hair and goatee. Tenta was supposed to be a big face or something I guess but of course nothing ever came of it. These two have the exact same style so this isn’t going to work. Non American object gets Bubba in control. Soon thereafter, I see some interesting looking paint on the wall and I lose my focus. Thank`fully this is about five and a half minutes and ends with Tenta slamming Bubba. Afterwards he cuts off Bubba’s beard.

Rating: D. Again, there’s no point to this match. It’s just two guys beating on each other and no one cares at all. Tenta never did a thing in WCW and would be gone very soon to be Golga in the Oddities in WWF. Bubba would turn face after the NWO beat on him. Seriously, why was this on pay per view?

No real story to this one, but it was against a big name on Nitro from September 9, 1996.

John Tenta vs. Randy Savage

Tenta’s music would become Jericho’s in about two years. Savage hits the ring and is stomped down by Tenta quickly. Eric has to say that Meng works for WCW and not WWF as Haku to avoid legal issues. That’s how messed up things were back then. Savage pops Tenta with a chair and that’s cool too. There’s the elbow and a second one as Teddy Long comes out, saying they’re in the back. Savage runs off to huge booing and is counted out also. Too short to rate but it was in essence a Savage squash.

It was back to the WWF in 1998 as a masked man named Golga who was obsessed with Eric Cartman. The biggest match of the run was at Summerslam 1998.

Insane Clown Posse plays the Oddities to the ring to a HUGE reaction.

Oddities vs. Kaientai

The Oddities are Golga (Earthquake under a mask), Giant Silva (Great Khali’s size and about a tenth of the skill) and Kurrgan (uh….yeah). Kaientai is a four man heel team here and not the comedy guys they would become in a year or so. Golga starts with Light Heavyweight Champion Taka Michinoku and the big man rams his own head into the buckle for some reason. He shoves down all four members of Kaientai as we’re firmly in comedy match territory.

Golga steals Kaientai’s manager Yamaguchi-San’s shoes and blasts various people with it before it’s off to the dancing Kurrgan. He gets on his knees to fight Funaki in a funny bit before dancing even more. Three of the four Japanese guys swarm Kurrgan to no effect as he cleans house anyway. Yamaguchi-San is shoved down again and it’s off to Silva to clean the little bit of the house which isn’t taken care of yet.

Kaientai gets in a fight over who comes in but it’s Dick Togo (Best name EVER) who gets the job. All four guys come in again but they can’t combine to lift Silva’s legs. Silva sends all four of them into the corner and crushes them at once before Kurrgan comes in to whip one into the other three. Silva throws Taka over the top onto the other three as this is complete dominance. Back in and Golga tries a seated senton on Mens Teioh but Taka and Togo hit a double dropkick to stagger him.

Two members of the team combine to slam him and four straight top rope splashes followed by four straight legdrops get no cover. A quadruple dropkick has Golga in trouble but a quadruple clothesline puts Kaientai down. The hot tag brings in Kurrgan who takes down everyone in sight and hits a wicked side slam on Funaki. Everything breaks down as managers Luna Vachon and Yamaguchi-San get in a fight. A quadruple chokeslam is good for the pin by Golga on everyone from Japan.

Rating: C-. The match was nothing but comedy, it was overly long, Golga is the only Oddity that could do a thing in the ring…..and I can’t help but love the Oddities. There’s just something so innocently goofy about them that I smile every time I see Kurrgan do his dance. The match sucked but it has no expectations coming in so it’s completely harmless.

One more for the road. From Raw, November 2, 1998.

Oddities vs. Mankind/Al Snow

Golga/Kurrgan here. ZZ Top is here. Mankind and Kurrgan start and we get a dance off until Snow jumps Kurrgan from behind. Off to Snow who has a bit less success. Snow fires off some kicks to the legs and Kurrgan goes down before Mankind comes back in. Golga comes in with a splash in the corner and an elbow drop for two. A side slam from Kurrgan gets the same as we’re told Vince is yelling at the Fink.

Mankind grabs a double arm DDT on Kurrgan and reaches for Socko, but he’s not there. Snow hits Kurrgan in the head with Head as Mankind leaves in panic. Snow walks into a bad Bossman Slam from Kurrgan. Snow makes both Oddities miss a few times but Kurrgan chokeslams him and the Earthquake gets the pin.

Rating: D+. This was a comedy match at times and a major upset at the end. Well maybe not major but still an upset. Kurrgan is a total guilty pleasure for me and when he’s in there with my all time favorite, what else am I going to say here other than it wasn’t all bad. This was nothing great but I had to like it a bit given who was in there.

Earthquake is another one of those guys that used what he had and got it over despite being a giant like so many others had been before him. His run with Hogan made him the top heel in the company for a good while and that’s pretty high praise when Hulkamania was still a big thing. His WCW run kind of sucked but he was long past his peak by that point. Still though, his best times were pretty good and he had a pretty lengthy career.

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Another day and another review that I don’t remember a reason for. It’s the night after Mind Games and the main story is that Shawn Michaels is still WWF Champion after Vader attacked Shawn for a DQ. Undertaker went after Mankind to continue that feud that will just never die. We start the build to Buried Alive here as well. Let’s get to it.

We get stills of Fake Razor and Fake Diesel attacking Savio Vega last night. Heel JR says he told us so.

Opening sequence.

Intercontinental Title: Marc Mero vs. Farrooq

Title is vacant coming in due to Ahmed Johnson’s injuries. Pat Patterson is introduced as the guest referee to the crowd off camera and Mr. Perfect sits in on commentary. Sable and Sunny are the respective seconds here in a rare occurrence of them being on screen at the same time. Farrooq (still in the blue gladiator outfit) hammers away to start but gets rolled up for a few two counts. An enziguri drops Mero but he avoids a charge and clotheslines Farrooq out to the floor for a BIG flip dive. Back in and a springboard moonsault press gets two for Mero but he gets backdropped to the floor.

Ahmed Johnson calls in to the show and says he’ll be back to win his title. Back in and a powerslam gets two for Farrooq and a middle rope Samoan drop gets the same. Sunny gets in some choking but Sable chases her off, earning Sunny an ejection and a lot of booing. Back with Mero getting two off a backslide but getting clotheslined down with ease. Farrooq stays on the ribs before hitting the chinlock. JR promises to expose Jeff Jarrett tonight, whatever that means.

Mero fights up and nails a clothesline, only to get caught with another quick slam to change momentum. Farrooq goes up top but gets crotched down almost immediately. A top rope hurricanrana puts Farrooq down for two and a double clothesline drops both guys. Farrooq comes out and gets in a slap fight with Sable, allowing Mero to take Sunny’s purse from Farrooq and knock him silly, setting up the Wild Thing (shooting star) for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. Nothing special to see here but the Wild Thing was still a really high spot at the time. No it wasn’t a clean pin, but Mero winning the title is a good idea at the end of the day. He was a solid worker and getting much better around this time, but an injury would shut him down pretty horribly.

Mr. Perfect gives him the title post match.

We flash back over a year to see Roadie cost Jeff Jarrett the Intercontinental Title to Shawn Michaels at In Your House 2.

Mero and some low level friends celebrate in the locker room.

Vince narrates a video from In Your House 2 of Jarrett singing his country song, but something fishy went down. However, new video shows that he was LIP SYNCHING! The real singer is revealed next week.

Body Donnas vs. British Bulldog/Owen Hart

Owen and the Bulldog won the Tag Team Titles last night and have Clarance Mason (attorney) with them but this is non-title. Owen spins out of Zip’s wristlock to start as Mason swears he didn’t cheat Jim Cornette out of anything last night. A rollup gets two on Zip and some ECW guys (including Taz) jump the railing for some attention. We take a break and come back with Bulldog slamming Skip down before it’s off to Owen. That goes nowhere so Bulldog tries a gorilla press, only to be rolled up for a quick two.

Jim Cornette comes in on a split screen and yells about Mason cheating him out of the contract with Owen and Bulldog. Owen goes up but his top rope splash hits knees and the not hot tag brings in Zip to clean house. Skip and Bulldog fight to the floor before a Rocket Launcher gets two on Owen. Not that it matters as Hart comes back with a spinwheel kick and the Sharpshooter for the submission from Zip.

Rating: C-. This was fine though I don’t remember the Body Donnas being faces at all. I do however remember Clarance Mason vs. Jim Cornette being a rather dull feud that went nowhere, though Owen and Bulldog were awesome champions. The match was nothing special but I was surprised that the non-champions got in so much offense.

We see some stills of Mankind vs. Shawn from last night. Sid going after Vader sets up their match at Buried Alive and of course the main event is Undertaker vs. Mankind.

Undertaker is in a graveyard and talks about the betrayal of Paul Bearer. Last night he played mind games with Mankind and Bearer, and at Buried Alive he’ll get his revenge.

Doc Hendrix can’t find Diesel and Razor.

Steve Austin sits in on commentary.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. The Stalker

Stalker is Barry Windham as a paramilitary character. He’s billed from the environment, which should tell you all you need to know about the character. Stalker takes him down with an easy armdrag before driving in elbows to the shoulder. A hammerlock slam keeps Helmsley in trouble but he comes back with some knees to the ribs to escape.

They head outside for nothing of note as Mr. Perfect comes out to watch. He’s feuding with Helmsley and stealing all his chicks around this time and the distraction lets Stalker slam him down again as we take a break. Back with Helmsley poking Stalker in the eye and hammering away in the corner.

Stalker escapes a sleeper with a jawbreaker as Austin wants to know why Stalker has so much paint on his face when everyone knows who he is. That’s a good question actually. A headbutt has Helmsley in trouble and a delayed suplex gets no cover. Perfect goes after Helmsley’s chick again as Stalker gets slammed face first onto the mat. The distraction allows Stalker to hit the superplex for the pin.

Rating: D+. Austin summed up the entire problem with Stalker in that one line: it wasn’t hard to tell who he was if you had been watching wrestling for almost any amount of time. The match was nothing all that great either with Helmsley not having any idea what he was doing yet and not being very good at all. It didn’t help that Windham had nothing at this point either.

Mankind and Bearer want to know why Undertaker was in their casket last night. Last night was Undertaker’s gravest mistake, even though Vader had already cost him the match. To be fair though, Mankind was never one to be all that objective.

JR is ready to bring out Razor and Diesel but gets interrupted by a Buried Alive ad.

Back in the arena and Ross says he has no loyalty to anyone but himself. In 1993 he was brought into the company and put into a toga after leaving the Atlanta Falcons. Then he carried the broadcast at the first King of the Ring but Vince fired him for being too good when he had Bell’s Palsy. This was one of the first times that Vince was identified as the owner. Then he was brought back when Raw needed a commentator for half the money. The fans are barely responding to this at all. JR brags about all the talent he’s brought in and brings out Fake Razor and no one cares. Savio Vega jumps Ramon to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Oh my goodness was this year bad for the WWF. It’s not so much that the wrestling was horrible but the stories were terrible. The main story on this show was JR bringing back Fake Razor which bombed horribly because it looked like a bad Razor Ramon costume instead of Scott Hall. The Title match wasn’t bad but with almost no big stars here and nothing interesting for the most part, this was a rather horrible show.

I’ve already done the next week’s show. Here it is in case you’re interested:

Big John Studd vs. King Tonga

Studd immediately slams him during the opening bell to take over. Tonga goes for a slam but it gets countered. That’s the whole point of the match: Tonga wants to slam Studd. Off to a chinlock but Tonga comes back with some martial arts. Another slam attempt sends them tumbling to the floor and it’s a double countout. No rating again but this was a one move match.

They brawl on the floor post match with Tonga getting the better of it. The brawl and teasing going back in goes on longer than the match. Now they get back in and brawl as there’s a referee in there for some reason. Tonga headbutts him to the floor and that’s enough for John so he takes a countout.

Tonga would soon change his name to Haku and join forces with Tama to form the Islanders. They received a Tag Team Title shot on Superstars, February 21, 1987.

WWF Tag Titles: Hart Foundation vs. The Islanders

The Islanders are faces here with Tama being awesome and Haku being newly named that. Danny Davis is introduced as the newest member of the Foundation. Egads what shorts. That’s very disturbing. He would switch to regular tights soon enough. Bret and Tama start so that’s the best combination to go with. That reverse leap frog is just awesome. It always has been and it always will be.

Hillbilly Jim pops in to say nothing of note. The heels shockingly cheat. Yeah I didn’t see that coming either. It’s weird to think that Tama and Haku would be heels so quickly. Haku got a hot tag. That’s just weird to type. He managed to botch throwing a guy to the floor. That’s hard to do. He hits a solid superkick if nothing else. Crowd is losing it over this. And then Bret cheats so Anvil gets the pin. Oh ok Davis shoved Haku off the top. That makes things better.

Rating: B-. Far too short to be anything great but at the same time, this was a quick formula match with the crowd eating it up. For a match this short to have that much heat, that’s very impressive. Not great of anything but it’s ok, especially for a match that didn’t get a ton of time.

Next up we’ve got a singles match from October 6, 1987.

Tito Santana vs. Haku

That…..doesn’t sound half bad actually. This would be right before Strike Force won the titles. Martel and Tama are with their respective partners and we’re in Milwaukee. Tito starts fast, probably fueled on a few burritos. An elbow to the top of Haku’s head and the future Meng hides on the floor for a bit. Back in and Tito rams Haku’s head into the mat which shouldn’t hurt but you get the idea.

The fans are WAY behind Tito. Off to the armbar now as Luscious Johnny runs down Martel’s face for some reason. They seem to botch a hip toss but Tito IMMEDIATELY shifts into a backslide attempt. That was so fast of a transition it was unreal. It gets two and Haku charges right back into the arm drag and armbar. Haku rakes the eyes and STILL can’t get anything going.

Tito goes for the knee and Haku gets to the ropes. Tama offers some advice and apparently he would be a better manager than Heenan, as the advice pays off in the form of a shot to the throat of Tito. Haku finally takes over and gets a shoulderbreaker for two. A charge into the corner eats shoes though and here comes Tito. I’d rather eat some Taco Bell but you can’t get everything. Big backdrop (where’s Vince to say HIGH elevation) sets up the forearm but Tama goes up top for the DQ as Martel makes the save. Double DQ apparently.

Rating: C-. Not bad here and I’d love to see these guys have some more time and an actual story to work with. It’s power vs. speed with one of the best speed guys you’ll ever seen. Not too shabby here as Tito and Martel were on their way to the titles, apparently three weeks after this. Or one match, whichever you prefer.

From Philadelphia on December 5, 1987. Most of these don’t have any real story to them so enjoy the random matches.

Tag Titles: Strike Force vs. Islanders

No word on if this is for the titles or not but I don’t know why it wouldn’t be. The Islanders jump the champions to start us off and Strike Force gets slammed. Martel vs. Haku starts us off officially here. Head Knocker by Tito is blocked but he speeds things up and sends Tama to the floor. Back off to Martel who hammers away.

Haku uses power to take over as we’re straight into power vs. speed here which is always awesome. Diving kneedrop misses Martel and it’s off to Santana. Strike Force tags in and out very fast. The heels resort to EVIL cheating to take over and beat on Santana for awhile. Tama was a guy I always liked that just kind of disappeared after the Islanders split. Shame too.

A couple of backbreakers by Haku as he shows off a bit. The guy was certainly strong. Ah yes this is a title match. I thought it was. Back off to Tama and Tito still can’t make the tag. Martel snaps and comes in for a bit but it causes Tito to get caught in a neck crank. Tito tries to fight back but a knee to the ribs stops that pretty quickly.

After some more offense from the savage that is savage enough to tape his wrists and get tights that fit, a leg drop misses and here comes Martel. Everything breaks down and Tama gets caught in a figure four. Haku breaks that up, only for Martel to get a sunset flip on Tama seconds later to end this and keep the titles on Strike Force, who are surprisingly not murdered in Philly.

Rating: C+. Basic power vs. speed match here with the eternally underrated Strike Force doing their basic stuff out there but having the energy that made them awesome. This was perfectly fine and they did exactly what they were supposed to do. The titles were never in jeopardy, but this is a house show after all.

Here’s an opponent you may have heard of. From August 2, 1988.

Hulk Hogan vs. Haku

This is from a Wrestling Challenge taping, which is similar to what Superstars is today. Haku takes him down quickly and the fans are WAY behind Hogan. Hogan fires back and gets a slam followed by the right hands. Heenan takes a shot also (which he would do literally in WCW on a regular basis) which makes me smile.

Haku works on the arm and pulls on the hair. That’s rather impressive considering there isn’t much to pull. This is another of those matches that the commentators say is a title match but Hogan wasn’t champion at the time. Hogan fights up and sets for the big right but Haku hits the floor. He’s a Samoan/Tongan. A shot to the head shouldn’t scare him at all.

Atomic drop sends Haku right back to the floor. And never mind as he’s right back in. Slam puts Haku down as other than the opening seconds this has been all Hogan. Of course as I say that Hogan misses an elbow and it’s off to the King. Yeah it’s King Haku here. Off to the nerve hold now which doesn’t last long. Slam gets two. Back to the nerve hold which never works for the most part.

Haku gets his crescent kick (more or less a superkick) to send Hogan down for two and it’s Hulk Up time. Why in the world would you hammer away on Hogan when he starts doing this? Just run to the floor and stop trying at this point. It’s not going to work. Big boot and the leg ends this.

Rating: C. Standard Hogan vs. monster match that he had roughly 10,000 of in the 80s. These are rather repetitive but at the same time the fans never stopped reacting to them, which is a good sign for Hogan as he was the constant yet the people cared about him enough to keep cheering. That’s hard to do.

Haku would eventually become the King of the WWF and defend the crown on Saturday Night’s Main Event XVII.

King Haku vs. Hulk Hogan

Remember, this is FOR THE CROWN as they mentioned earlier. Bets on Hogan winning and not being king? Haku jumps him and you can smell the comeback from here. Yep there it is. I’d also bet on a shot from Haku taking him down to set up the inevitable. Hey what do you know I’m right. Heenan gets taken out and not a lot of people care. Haku hits a suplex for two, and now Hogan can’t get hurt. I’m not wasting my finger energy on filling in the ending here.

Rating: D+. Standard Hogan match but just lackluster. To be fair though, no one believed Haku would win here and it was just to get him on the TV show. Why mess with what works I suppose. Nothing great at all, but certainly watchable and bearable, albeit not quite as good as the previous match.

Haku would defend the crown against former King Harley Race at the 1989 Royal Rumble.

King Haku vs. Harley Race

Race was King but got hurt and the crown went to Haku. This is his chance to get it back in a one time only return to the ring. Harley shoves over Haku’s throne to start and the brawl is on. You know Race is going to be the brawler in this. Back in and Race pounds away before suplexing Haku down for two. Heenan manages both guys here but Race is kind of the face by default.

They head to the floor again with Race being sent into the post and chopped a few times. Haku sends him back to the floor after a few seconds in the ring as we stall for a few moments. More chops have Race in trouble as Jesse talks about Hogan injuring Race, which is only kind of true. Race no sells a headbutt and gets two off a piledriver. They collide again and Race falls to the floor as Heenan plays both sides, saying he’s for both guys when the other is out of earshot.

Back in and Race punches some more before getting two off a suplex. Haku gets sent to the floor again as it’s pretty clear there’s not much to this match. Race tries to piledrive Haku on the floor but gets backdropped as is the usual. A second attempt at a piledriver works but not incredibly well. Back in and a clothesline puts Haku down for two but Haku comes back and misses a top rope headbutt. Race misses a headbutt of his own and charges into the superkick from Haku (looked GREAT) for the pin to keep the crown in Tonga or wherever he’s from.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t terrible and the ending kick looked awesome, but other than that there wasn’t much to see here. Race was clearly old and banged up and he didn’t have a lot to work with in the form of Haku. The crown was mostly a minor title that was only somewhat official. Nothing to see here, but no one cares about anything but the Rumble tonight anyway.

Roddy Piper would retire from wrestling at Wrestlemania III, only to return two and a half years later. Haku would be his first opponent, at Saturday Night’s Main Event XXIII.

And now, a title win. From December 13, 1989 on Superstars.

Tag Titles: Colossal Connection vs. Demolition

This is during Demolition’s second reign and they’re over huge with the crowd. The fight is on quickly with Andre dropping Ax (who was actually Super Machine) with a headbutt. Haku chops away at Ax to start before it’s off to Andre for some heavy choking in the corner. Smash makes the mistake of going after Heenan, leaving Ax to be double teamed. Andre comes in for a standing choke as this is total dominance by the challengers.

Some shoulders in the corner have Ax in even more trouble but Haku misses a charge to breathe life into the crowd. A second charge hits Ax’s elbow but Haku blocks another tag attempt. Andre comes back in with some headbutts and another choke, drawing Smash in for the save. The referee gets him out, allowing Haku to hit a quick superkick followed by an Andre elbow drop for the pin. Smash tried to make the save but there’s no way to pull Andre around on the mat.

Rating: D. The match sucked, but the fact that Demolition got squashed like this blows my mind. Smash was never even in the match and the pinfall was practically clean in about six minute. That NEVER happens to Demolition at anyone’s hands, making the Connection look all the more awesome.

Haku would get a World Title shot at Saturday Night’s Main Event XXVI as the first challenger to new WWF Champion Ultimate Warrior.

WWF Title: Haku vs. Ultimate Warrior

The pop for Warrior is there as the challenger has no entrance and is just shown warming up in the ring. Yeah this is going to be an even match if there ever was one. Vince had Perfect and DiBiase and Rude and Savage and even Rhodes on the roster and he picked this guy to replace Hogan. Unbelievable. Surprisingly, we start fast.

Who would have guessed that in a Warrior match? Continuing the surprises, Warrior is odd, sloppy and a bit dangerous. They keep referencing the Mania 5 match where Rude managed to beat Warrior, which was apparently his only loss to date. That’s surprising indeed, which isn’t a joke this time.

We hit the slowdown mode as Haku goes through his incredibly generic power midcard guy offense. Jesse claims a slow count to get some very cheap yet basic heel heat going for him. That’s something he and Lawler were great at.

They could say something so simple like that and go off about it for a few minutes and it worked like a charm every single time. Using the exact same formula in the Hogan match, Warrior makes his comeback and takes over on Haku to hit his signature set of moves to end this. For some reason this isn’t the main event but whatever.

Rating: C. This was the epitome of average, but it did the job it was supposed to, which was getting Warrior a little credibility as champion. There’s nothing wrong with having him beat a midcard guy in an otherwise worthless title match and that’s exactly what he did here. This went fine and Warrior looked good, despite it being about five minutes long. That was his status quo and it worked out for him here so that balances out the boring match.

We’ll head to Japan for a bit for the AJPW/WWF Wrestling Summit on August 13, 1990.

Jumbo Tsuruta/Haku vs. Mr. Perfect/Rick Martel

For those of you that have never heard of Jumbo, I feel sorry for you. This guy is freaking AWESOME. Haku…not so much. Martel and Perfect are great of course, but Haku just doesn’t fit at all here. Haku is called King here even though he lost that at least 8 months prior to this. I don’t get that one at all. Anyway, Haku was trained by Giant Baba so that likely has something to do with this.

Jumbo was kind of the Shawn Michaels of Japan, or at least the modern Shawn. He kept getting better with age and never really went downhill. Granted he never became a comedy character that had great matches while doing all kinds of stupid jokes and comedy skits. It’s so odd that Martel went from AWA Champion for a year, when it still meant something, to a silly character like the Model. I’ll go with this: Jumbo is better than Perfect and there’s a decent distance between them.

Jumbo is MAD over. Haku got his start in AJPW so he fits in very well here and he’s well known. Again, these are just weird tag teams as Haku had just split from Andre and Perfect was feuding with Beefcake around this time. Oh I see why Gorilla isn’t here. He would criticize Jumbo’s abdominal stretch. I love that Hennig neck snap. It just looks freaking painful. It’s so weird seeing WWF heel vs. heel stuff. You never saw that in this era at all.

Haku misses a front flip splash which looked cool. He and Perfect are the heels in there in case you were wondering. Scratch that as it’s Martel and the announcers talk about both of them being former AWA Champions, which is very odd. Martel puts on the Boston Crab on Haku, giving us a Canadian putting an American hold on a Tongan wrestler in Japan.

The WWF guys beat the heck out of Haku, leading for the hot tag, and when I say hot tag, I mean white hot tag. Jumbo gets an EPIC pop and after a melee, a high knee and a good looking belly to back suplex at a high angle ends this to another huge pop with the pin on Martel.

Rating: B-. Again there’s not a thing wrong with formula based matches and this is no exception. It’s about ten minutes long and this match just worked. It’s not a masterpiece or anything like that, but it certainly held my attention and it came off as solid. Jumbo was a freaking star that could wrestle on top of that so there you are.

Haku was part of the Heenan Family and would team up with Barbarian in the opening match of Wrestlemania VII.

Haku/Barbarian vs. Rockers

Shawn and Haku get us going with Michaels trying to speed things up, only to be slammed into the corner. The second attempt at flying around works a bit better as a dropkick puts Haku down. The Rockers do some of their double teaming stuff but Barbie takes them down with a big double clothesline. Shawn and Marty double superkick him down though and the Heenan Family has to regroup a bit.

We get down to Marty vs. Barbarian again and speed takes over one more time. A sunset flip doesn’t work for Jannetty but Barbarian punches the mat. A rana takes Barbarian down and Marty pounds away for two. Off to Haku and a double headbutt puts Marty down again. Jannetty loads up another rana but the foreigners hit a double hot shot onto the top rope to really take over this time.

A gorilla press plants Jannetty and it’s time for more heel double teaming. Marty comes back with something like a cross body for two but the speed continues to get beaten down. By speed I mean the drug of the day for Jannetty of course. Back to Barbarian for a bearhug followed by a powerslam so wicked that the fans pop for it. The falling headbutt misses though and it’s hot tag time to Shawn. Things really do speed up now but Shawn gets kicked in the face to slow him down. That goes nowhere for the villains though and it’s a Michaels cross body off the top for the pin on Haku.

Rating: B. Just a fast paced tag team match here with power vs. speed. This is one of those formulas that works no matter how many times you do it as long as you have talented guys in there. The future Faces of Fear were fine as monsters for the Rockers to conquer and it set a good pace for the show here. Solid opening match.

Haku would head to WAR in Japan as King Haku, where he would take part in a WWF/WAR show on September 15, 1992.

King Haku vs. Undertaker

Undertaker hammers away to start and chokes in the corner but gets punched across the ring. The King’s neck is snapped across the top rope to put him down again before Old School sets up a slam. They head outside with Undertaker being sent into the post and slammed down before Haku stomps away in the ring.

Undertaker comes back with a chokeslam out of nowhere for two but gets suplexed down with ease. A top rope splash gets two for the King but Undertaker sits up after a legdrop. Undertaker comes back with a jumping shoulder (looked to be some misdirection on the clothesline) and the Tombstone gets the pin.

Rating: D+. This was just a quick match to give the fans a thrill with a big name from the States out there. Haku seemed to be more entertaining here than he usually was in America but it would be awhile before he would be seen over there again. Undertaker hadn’t found his way in the character yet either.

Meng would head to WCW as a monster bodyguard, but he would soon go out on his own and enter a US Title tournament. Here are the finals at Great American Bash 1995.

US Title: Sting vs. Meng

Around this time, Sting was the most over wrestler in the world and was wrestling solid matches so of course they stuck him in the midcard and had him in random angles in the main event without ever wrestling in it. My guess: to prevent Hogan from looking weak by comparison. You can see the fans wake up for him. The guy is just universally loved…so Russo has been obsessed with turning him heel over the years.

It hasn’t worked yet but this one is too early to say so I’ll let it slide. Again, notice that guys that play directly to the crowd, in this case yelling at them, get bigger reactions that anyone on the roster. See, the key difference between Sting and Hogan: both could get EPIC responses, but Sting could work very solid matches and in more than one style. Hogan was as formula based as Flair and that’s saying a lot.

Sting could work a lot of styles and could work for LONG periods of time. Meng is supposed to be a martial arts master here so his offense is considered great. It’s really weak but it goes to show you what the simple act of talking about how awesome someone is can do for you. It also shows the power the announcers have. They’re talking like they’re scared of Meng so his incredibly weak offense seems more impressive than it actually is. That’s what commentators can do.

Yeah Meng isn’t that good. The hand gyrations from Meng are funny for some reason. Sting gets in some weird offense including a flying hip smash to the face of Meng from the second rope. Yeah it’s weirder than it sounds but it looked ok I guess. It’s impressive to see and hear the crowd change so much depending on how Sting is doing. That says a lot about him. Yes I’m a big Sting fan.

We’re on the floor now and Meng is in trouble. Parker gets beaten up too so this isn’t a total loss. Meng headbutts the post. The Scorpion is put on and Meng doesn’t tap. The hold is broken and the fans go quiet. Sting goes to some of his high risk stuff…and then wins with a jumping DDT? What the HECK? I’ve never seen him win with that before and I haven’t since. It came out of freaking nowhere.

Something makes me think they had to switch something up in there, maybe due to a missed spot or an injury. Sting was always supposed to win, don’t get me wrong, but the ending was too weird to be what was planned. Actually maybe it was. This is WCW in 1995 after all.

Rating: D+. Pretty weak and formula based stuff here. Sting was over as all goodness and had to win it though. I guess they figured going with Sting was the best bet and it clearly was. This wasn’t much but it did its job fine I suppose. If nothing else we have a champion again and he’s over.

We’ll jump ahead to Meng being part of the Dungeon of Doom and facing Arn Anderson on Nitro, July 15, 1996.

Arn Anderson vs. Meng

Dungeon vs. Horsemen here. Heenan talks about how Hogan probably planned this since before he came to WCW. I never got why that was supposed to be this big elaborate plan that they had worked on for years. Why couldn’t it have happened in like a month or so? Who says Hall and Nash didn’t come to WCW and Hogan said “Hmm….this is interesting” and sent them a singing telegram? Eric rants about how the NWO banner is a slap in the face of WCW. The pops for the NWO would seem to disagree.

As for the actual match, this sounds kind of intriguing on paper. The fireworks keep going off and get really annoying really quickly. Anderson dodges some kicks and throws on a headlock. Meng fires off a leapfrog and takes over. Eric talks about Hog Wild and you can almost hear the drool coming out of his mouth. Arn takes him to the mat and wraps Meng’s leg around the post. Barbarian comes out as Meng has a nerve hold on.

Meng kicks Anderson and gets two as we take a break. Back with Anderson hammering away a bit as the fans chant for Hogan. Eric wants the NWO in prison. The announcers going off on the NWO with these ridiculous proclamations of how evil they were were such an added bonus. Bischoff plugs Mr. Nanny again as the guys head to the floor. Meng rams Anderson’s back into the apron a few times but Arn takes over back inside. Scratch that as Meng gets a suplex (exposing the freaky looking untanned upper thigh of Arn) but gets elbowed in the head. DDT is reversed and Barbarian pops up for some double teaming, allowing Meng to get the upset pin.

Rating: B-. Surprisingly good match here as they slugged it out and went back and forth, getting a good match as a result. Meng continues to be a steady hand and Arn does what he does best: stay tough and put people over. Solid TV match and I had fun with it which is the whole idea. Meng of course wouldn’t go anywhere but he wasn’t really the kind of character that was ever going to.

Meng would team up with his old partner the Barbarian as the Faces of Fear. The team would earn a Tag Team Title shot against the Outsiders at Starrcade 1996.

Tag Titles: Outsiders vs. Faces of Fear

The Outsiders, Kevin Nash and Scott Hall, are defending here. The Faces of Fear are the Barbarian (I told you he stuck around for a long time) and Meng, Robert Parker’s old bodyguard, managed by Jimmy Hart. Hall and Meng start things off with the Tongan monster putting on a wristlock. Hall cranks on the arm but gets caught with a stiff clothesline. Meng charges into a boot in the corner, followed by a bulldog by Hall. The bulldog merely seems to tick Meng off though so he pounds Hall down and brings in Barbarian.

Off to Nash who pounds Barbarian into the corner and fires off some big slow knees to the ribs. An elbow to the face staggers Barbarian but he shoves the 7’0 Nash into the corner and pounds away with chops. Meng comes in and the challengers pound Nash down to a big reaction from the crowd. Nash tries to ram their heads together, but Wrestling Law #3 says anyone described as a savage has a VERY hard head, meaning it has no effect.

Nash is kicked down again for a two count for Barbarian but he misses a middle rope elbow. Barbarian is dropped face first on the top turnbuckle in a move called Snake Eyes (a move named by Nash when he portrayed Vinnie Vegas) and it’s back to Hall to pound on Barbarian a bit more. Meng comes down the apron and pulls Hall to the challengers’ corner for a double team with Barbarian. A BIG boot to the face puts Hall down but referee Nick Patrick, who may or may not be in the NWO’s pocket, takes his sweet time in counting two.

Back to Meng for a very delayed piledriver for another near fall. Barbarian tries his luck again with a bunch of chops and a good looking powerbomb. Patrick again takes forever to count, allowing Nash to come in for a save. Barbarian stays on Hall as Tony says he’s confused by who is legal. To be fair though, tying his shoes confuses Tony. NWO member Syxx goes after Jimmy Hart and the pair head to the back.

Barbarian puts on a nerve hold as Hall gets to lay on the mat. Maybe he needs a nap after all the hard work he’s done in this match so far. After not moving for a good 20 seconds and not being checked by Patrick, Hall fights up and suplexes Barbarian down to escape. Tag off to Nash who gets two off a big boot of his own. Everything breaks down and Nash powerbombs Barbarian down to retain.

Rating: C-. This one went longer than it needed to and even when I was eight years old I knew the Faces of Fear had no chance here. The Outsiders held those belts for the better part of a year and a half with no one being able to take them from them (and keep them that is). The match was a watchable power match but the belts never felt like they were in

The feud with the Horsemen just wouldn’t die and would still be going at Slamboree 1997.

Meng vs. Chris Benoit

This is a death match which means last man standing. Speaking of feuds that WOULD NOT END, this is more Benoit/Horsemen vs. Dungeon. At least Woman looks pretty good here. Benoit is tentative to start but grabs a dragon screw leg whip to put Meng down for about a second. Meng comes right back so Benoit heads to the floor where he gets counted for no apparent reason.

Back in the ring Meng hits a belly to belly suplex. Meng tries to throw a punch but Benoit slips behind him and hits a German. Benoit keeps going for the legs which is smart strategy but he gets kicked off. Out to the floor and Meng is sent into the steps in a scary looking bump as the corner almost hit his eye. Meng comes back in and pounds him down in the corner but Benoit comes back with chops.

Meng goes all psycho Samoan…..and for the love of all things good and holy freaking Jacqueline is here. NO ONE LIKES YOU AND NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU NOW GO AWAY!!! Woman chases her away for some reason that I don’t care about at all. Meng hooks a half crab and I think you can win by submission as well. Benoit makes the ropes which is a break in a match that has no DQ.

Benoit tries a comeback but gets headbutted right back down. A good piledriver puts Benoit down for eight. Out of nowhere Benoit grabs the Crossface (not named yet. Ok apparently it is but Tony calls it an armbar submission at first) but Meng slides to the floor to break it. Now Dusty says you have to break in the ropes. What happens if you don’t? Benoit keeps getting up and screams for more so Meng keeps kicking him in the face.

A running kick in the corner misses and Benoit fires away at him. Here are the rolling Germans which that idiot Tony calls dragon suplexes. This show is ticking me off already and now we have to listen to Tony screw up move names. Here’s the Crossface again but Meng rolls outside again. Wicked suicide dive takes Meng down but Benoit can’t follow up. Back in a suplex puts Meng down but he catches Benoit in the Tongan Death Grip while Benoit tries the swan dive. Benoit passes out for the loss.

Rating: D+. Another match that more or less was a singles match but more hard hitting. It wasn’t terrible but with Tony and Jackie out there messing up everything, it was hard to care. On top of that, why have Benoit lose here? That would apparently be so that they could do THE EXACT SAME MATCH the next month.

Meng wouldn’t see a ton of action for the rest of the year and then would get injured in February 1998. He would return in the fall of that same year and feud with Barbarian, including this match at Road Wild 1998.

Meng vs. Barbarian

This is going to be a long show. The fight starts at the bell with both guys pounding on each other and screaming a lot. They fight over a sumo lockup before trading some chops in the corner. Meng takes over with a hard clothesline even though it didn’t knock Barbarian down. Barbarian comes right back with a belly to belly superplex but Meng pops up and piledrives him.

Meng misses a middle rope splash, no sells it, and goes up top again. Barbarian catches him in a belly to belly superplex as Tenay talks about 350,000 people being at the biker rally this week. A powerslam puts Barbarian down but he gets right back up for some chopping. Meng staggers him with some headbutts but gets pulled to the floor. Barbarian sends him into the steps and heads back inside, only to have Meng put on the Tongan Death Grip for the pin.

Rating: D. It sucked as a match but this wasn’t the worst idea for an opening match. A crowd of bikers is going to respond to two monsters beating each other up for five minutes and they seemed interested here. It doesn’t do much for the wrestling fans, but this show was never for them in the first place.

Meng was hot enough at this point that he would get a World Title shot on the August 10, 1998 episode of Nitro.

WCW World Title: Goldberg vs. Meng

Meng pounds away to start but Goldberg hits a kind of flying tackle. A superkick puts Meng on the floor but the Black and White leave Meng alone. Back in and Goldberg puts on a quickly broken leg bar before getting kicked to the floor on the Black and White side. The Wolfpack makes the save but Meng puts him in the Tongan Death Grip, only to let go early. Spear, Jackhammer, we’re done. Too short to rate but they actually did a good job of making Goldberg seem vulnerable. Given the opponent, that’s very impressive.

Then he would have this awesome match on September 14, 1998’s Nitro.

Giant vs. Meng

Meng slaps Giant back into the corner and kicks at the legs before they get into a brawl with neither guy going anywhere. Meng staggers Giant with a kick right to the face so the strap comes down. Giant hits him again and Meng is all FOREIGN SHOUTING. A headbutt has no effect on Meng and neither does a right hand to the head. Another kick to the face staggers Giant and Meng loads up the Death Grip, but Giant uses his reach advantage to grab the chokeslam as Meng can’t get to his throat. REALLY fun match for two minutes.

We’ll skip ahead again as Meng would go to Japan for awhile before coming back in 1999. Here’s one of his first big matches back, from Mayhem 1999.

Meng vs. Total Package

Luger is the Package for those of you uninitiated. He’s in the neck collar and hasn’t been wanting to wrestle at all lately so this is a continuation of that story. Luger gets his shirt ripped off quickly and there go the pants too. Again, WHAT IS WITH THE RIPPING OFF OF MEN’S CLOTHING??? Luger goes to the eyes and manages to suplex Meng despite having a bad neck. The suplex isn’t sold either so we’ll call it even.

They go outside for a bit and Luger hammers away as they come back in. Meng tries the Tongan Death Grip but he can’t get past the neck brace. Instead he steps on the throat while we talk about the main event. Powerslam gets two for Lex. He rams Meng’s head into the buckle. I guess when they say Total Package that doesn’t include intelligence as YOU DON’T HIT A SAMOAN IN THE HEAD. Meng starts his comeback as this is going in slow motion. Liz has some spray or something but it hits Luger instead. Meng takes the brace off and the Death Grip ends it.

Rating: D. In other words, Liz was Jimmy Hart, Luger was Brian Knobs and Meng was Norman Smiley. I’ll give Russo this: I’ve seen him go shorter than this between using the same style of an ending. This was another match where I have no idea what the point of this being on the PPV was but I’m sure it made sense at the time. I’m not being serious with that last line but I thought I’d try being nice for a change.

Next up was the pursuit of the Hardcore Title, including this match at Souled Out 2000.

Brian Knobbs vs. Meng vs. Norman Smiley vs. Fit Finlay

This is called Four the Hard Way but it’s really just a fatal fourway. This is during the Smiley is scared of hardcore matches period. Knobbs and Finlay are dressed alike as the idea here is that Finlay trained him to be a hardcore guy. Yes, Brian Knobbs is a champion in the year 2000. Smiley tries a trashcan shot to Meng’s head which fails miserably.

It’s one of those hardcore matches that you’ve seen a few million times in WCW as it’s not incredibly interesting but they’re kind of entertaining for the sake of being what they are. Everyone beats up Norman and nothing hurts Meng, namely due to that big thing of hair. Here’s a table and some bad chair shots. Finlay and Smiley go into the crowd which lasts about four seconds. This is one of those matches that needs to end. Knobbs is out mostly so Smiley goes near him. Smiley gets hit with his own riot shield and this is finally over.

Rating: D-. I mean dude, what do you want me to say here? It’s a hardcore match. Like I said, if you’ve seen one of these you’ve seen a million of them since there isn’t anything different about any of them for the most part. The title never died of course as WCW kept this joke up for another YEAR. They never learned at all.

Meng would be out for most of 2000 before returning in early 2001 to keep up his pursuit. He got another shot at the Hardcore Title at Sin.

Hardcore Title: Crowbar vs. Terry Funk vs. Meng

Meng has the title itself but Funk is champion. Daffney tries to jump Funk which of course fails. Crowbar, no longer a seventies guy (that would be Funk) jumps Funk and the brawl starts sans Meng. They head to the back into the ladies room. Standard bathroom fight as Crowbar is slammed into every stall. Meng is nowhere to be seen here. Ah there he is.

He throws a plastic trashcan over Funk and hammers on it a bit. They head back into the arena and Funk pelts a trashcan at Meng’s head. They double team him for a bit before Funk realizes that makes too much sense so he beats up Crowbar. Luckily there happens to be about six tables stacked up against a wall. WE FOUND THE SOURCE!!!!! Crowbar hits Funk with a laptop as Hudson says Crowbar wants the Cruiserweight Title back.

Crowbar climbs into the crowd and dives on Funk on a table which the camera completely misses. Why do they miss it? Because they accidently cut to the ring crew fixing the ring ropes. And people wonder why this company went out of business. This is what replay is for I guess as we get to see the Boom Drop for lack of a better term.

Meng pops up to him Crowbar with a trashcan again and take over one more time. They head to the stage with Crowbar hammering away to no effect. Side kick sends Crowbar sprawling down the ramp. Funk gets a snow shovel from somewhere and pops Meng with it to send him down. That’s a rarity. Funk slams Crowbar through the railing which literally almost snaps in half. Good thing WCW upgraded to the barriers made of cotton candy.

Funk and Crowbar go to the ring where Funk takes some chair shots to the knees and gets Pillmanized. Well kind of at least. Funk of course is on his feet seconds later and hammers away. Meng is back now and Crowbar puts a figure four on despite Meng hammering on him. Meng goes up top and crushes Crowbar with a splash. That looked awesome. Piledriver gets two as Funk saves.

Meng hammers away and slams Funk before a middle rope splash gets two. Funk and Crowbar hit Meng literally about 18 times with chairs to take him down. The head shots don’t work as well due to the afro but they’re trying at least. Funk gets Meng in position for a DDT but Crowbar blasts him with a chair. Kick takes Crowbar down and the Tongan Death Grip gives Meng the title. He would be in the Royal Rumble a week later.

Rating: C. This got a lot better after the first five minutes or so. Meng as a total monster is a fun character. That’s probably why WWF signed him to a guaranteed deal a day or so after this while WCW was doing a pay per appearance kind of thing and thought there was nothing wrong with putting a title on him (his first actually). Meng would be in the Rumble seven days later as a surprising appearance and kind of as a big SCREW YOU to Bischoff as the Hardcore Division in WCW died with the title never being mentioned again other than I think once on Thunder.

Meng would jump to the WWF while still champion because WCW. He would start a feud with Undertaker at the Royal Rumble and face him on the January 29, 2001 episode of Raw.

Haku vs. Undertaker

Naturally they slug it out to start and a big boot takes Haku down. That and a leg drop gets two. I guess Taker is a REAL AMERICAN. Old School kind of takes Haku down. Rikishi trips him up and gets beaten down a bit for his cheating. Haku drills him on the floor and takes over somewhat.

Taker fights back and tries a backdrop but Haku messes up the counter. The Samoan hammers away in the corner and a headbutt puts Taker down for two. Big clothesline puts Haku down again as does a DDT. Rikishi’s distraction prevents the Tombstone so Rikishi and Kane get into it. Chair to Kane’s ribs takes care of him as a chokeslam ends Haku.

Rating: D+. This was pretty worthless. Did anyone want to see Samoans vs. Brothers? Really? I can’t think of anyone out there enough to want to see it and it’s not like the feud was any good. Weak match here with zero doubt that Taker would get the pin here somehow. The feud was at least short lived so that helps.

We’ll wrap it up with the tag version from Raw on March 5, 2001.

Haku/Rikishi vs. Kane/Undertaker

Heyman calls the Samoans children of the jungle. Is that like Children of the Corn? The brawl begins on the ramp and everything is a bit nuts. Finally we get down to Taker vs. Haku in the ring and we actually get a bell. To the shock of no one, this is a slugout. The Samoan hits a German on the American for two. Taker can’t hurt Haku’s head so he calls some spots instead, namely running into an elbow. Off to Rikishi as those two had been in there way too long. And never mind as Haku is back in maybe 8 seconds later. DDT puts Haku down for two. Off to Kane and everything breaks down. Chokeslam ends Haku rather quickly.

Rating: D. Match was flat out horrible as I’d almost think Kane was hurt here as he did almost nothing at all. Taker in 2001 isn’t someone you want to have fight this long on his own, especially against Haku. Rikishi would be gone very soon due to an injury so this was one of the last moments for the Samoans. Yeah Rikishi would work Smackdown the next night and then was gone for two months.

Meng would basically retire after this, save for a few matches on house shows and some indy appearances. As you can see, Meng is a great example of a guy that kept a job for so many years by being a tough and basic monster character. Monsters from the islands have been used for years in wrestling and he’s one of the better ones in history. No he never really accomplished much, but he’s not the kind of a guy that is supposed to in the first place. Given that he kept steady employment in wrestling for over twenty years, that’s not the worst result in the world.

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Turn it up. It’s Brian Christopher.

New Kids vs. Fabulous Ones

Tony Williams of the New Kids dropkicks Stan Lane down to start as Cornette is running his mouth on commentary. Referee Miller is kicked down by Lane the Karate Master so it’s off to Christopher. Brian superkicks Steve Keirn down for two and Cornette is losing it. He goes to manage as Keirn can’t figure Christopher out. A backdrop finally puts him down so it’s off to Lane who gets caught in a quick sunset flip for two. Off to Tony who is slammed down with ease.

Jim is back on commentary to make the match that much better. The New Kids keep trying for a fast win because they can’t go man to man vs. the Fabs. Keirn slams Tony’s head into a chair on the floor and it’s back inside. Tony gets between Stan’s legs and makes the tag to Christopher. The Fabs double team him again and it’s back to the outside. Keirn is illegal and piledrives Miller for the DQ. It was a DQ at times and at times it wasn’t so it’s hard to keep up with.

Rating: C-. Not much of a match but this is how you give someone a rub. The New Kids weren’t proven yet so having them hang in there with a famous team like the Fabulous Ones and even pick up a win here is a great way to make the New Kids look a lot better. The Fabs couldn’t pin them which is a major key. Not a great match, but a good rub.

Christopher would become a big deal as a heel in 1993. Here’s a match from that period on February 13, 1993.

Brian Christopher vs. Jeff Jarrett

Luger and two other guys that I don’t recognize are here with Christopher. Brian says there’s no need for Lex to be here for this one but then he changes his mind. Ok then. There are no apron curtains. That’s not something I’ve seen outside of a tiny indy company. Lex sits in on commentary for this. There can’t be more than 150 people at this. Ever heard me say someone is stalling like a man from Memphis? Here’s a good example of something like that.

First contact: 63 seconds in. Christopher keeps shouting to Lex how awesome he is but in a sucking up way, not an evil way. Second contact: 100 seconds in. We’re over two minutes in and we’ve had two tieups and that’s it. Ok from what I can find, Christopher is also the Texas Champion. Jeff finally has enough and pops Brian in the face with a right hand. We finally get going as Brian hits a clothesline and stomps a bit. To be fair, Memphis was far more based on egging on the crowd than the in ring action.

A backbreaker gets two for Christopher. He misses an elbow though and Jeff grabs a rollup for two. How weird is it that these two would reach their biggest successes as totally different characters? Christopher as a dancing idiot and Jarrett as a self-obsessed heel. One of the guys that came out with Christopher grabs Jeff’s leg but he manages a DDT to Christopher anyway. Not that it matters as the other guy comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. These matches are hard to rate as there isn’t much action in them, but like I said there isn’t supposed to be. These were two fairly big names and two acts that were over as a face and a heel, which is really all you can ask for. At the same time though, there’s barely any wrestling and it was all set up for the ending, which is ok, but it’s still nothing to see.

After several more years in Memphis, Christopher would debut in the WWF as Jerry Lawler’s mentee. He would enter the fledgling Light Heavyweight division and have a match at In Your House 17.

Scott Putski vs. Brian Christopher

Putski is the son of WWF Hall of Famer Ivan Putski while Christopher is the son of Jerry Lawler. However Lawler hasn’t admitted to this yet, but instead is saying he’s a big fan of Christopher and has helped him win matches. An immediate Jerry’s Kid chant starts us off, which Lawler writes off as a reference to Jerry Lewis’ Labor Day marathon. Putski gets in the first shot and drives Christopher into the corner before tossing him out to the floor.

Back in and Brian grabs a headlock before clotheslining him down with ease. Scott comes back with a hurricanrana for two but gets caught in a full nelson leg sweep faceplant (the Skull Crushing Finale or Chris Jericho’s Breakdown) gets two. Jerry: “That’s my boy!” JR: “What?” Putski falls to the floor and Brian follows with a nice dive to take him out again. The fall seems to have injured Scott’s knee and Brian wins by countout.

Rating: D. I’m thinking there was something to that knee injury as there was no reason to end the match so soon. It didn’t last that long and I have no idea why this was on a pay per view. Putski is a good example of a guy who had a great look but had the big problem of being his father’s son. His dad Ivan was a popular wrestler and there was no way Scott could live up to his reputation.

Brian would enter a tournament for the restored Light Heavyweight Title, making the finals at In Your House 19.

Scott Putski vs. Brian Christopher

Putski is the son of WWF Hall of Famer Ivan Putski while Christopher is the son of Jerry Lawler. However Lawler hasn’t admitted to this yet, but instead is saying he’s a big fan of Christopher and has helped him win matches. An immediate Jerry’s Kid chant starts us off, which Lawler writes off as a reference to Jerry Lewis’ Labor Day marathon. Putski gets in the first shot and drives Christopher into the corner before tossing him out to the floor.

Back in and Brian grabs a headlock before clotheslining him down with ease. Scott comes back with a hurricanrana for two but gets caught in a full nelson leg sweep faceplant (the Skull Crushing Finale or Chris Jericho’s Breakdown) gets two. Jerry: “That’s my boy!” JR: “What?” Putski falls to the floor and Brian follows with a nice dive to take him out again. The fall seems to have injured Scott’s knee and Brian wins by countout.

Rating: D. I’m thinking there was something to that knee injury as there was no reason to end the match so soon. It didn’t last that long and I have no idea why this was on a pay per view. Putski is a good example of a guy who had a great look but had the big problem of being his father’s son. His dad Ivan was a popular wrestler and there was no way Scott could live up to his reputation.

Light Heavyweight Title: Brian Christopher vs. Taka Michinoku

This is a tournament final to determine the new champion. The title had actually been around for years but was only defended in Mexico and Japan while never being mentioned in American. Christopher plays to the crowd before we get going but scores with a quick slam to take over. An armdrag puts Taka down again as the Jerry’s Kid chant starts up again. Taka flips out of a German suplex and takes Brian down with a pair of kicks to the face and a clothesline to send him out to the floor. A HUGE springboard dive off the top takes Christopher out again and fires up the crowd a bit.

Brian crotches Taka on the top rope as they come back in and a dropkick sends Michinoku back to the floor. Taka avoids a dive off the apron to send Brian into the barricade but misses a cross body back inside to give Christopher control again. Now it’s Brian’s turn to miss a charge, allowing Taka to hit a tornado DDT for two. A hurricanrana sends Brian to the floor again and a top rope moonsault takes him out. Lawler goes to help his son back inside but Taka dropkicks Christopher right back down.

Back inside and a pair of dropkicks put Brian down again but Taka gets caught in a full nelson legsweep. There’s a sitout powerbomb by Christopher but he poses too much, allowing Taka to grab a rollup for two. A missile dropkick to the back of Taka’s head puts him down again and a backbreaker gets two.

Brian stays cocky by slapping Taka in the face over and over (Jerry: “Just like I slapped Andy Kaufman!”) before clotheslining him down for two. Now the release German suplex connects but Brian takes forever to cover. Instead it’s a powerslam to put Taka down but Christopher misses the top rope legdrop, allowing Taka to hit the Michinoku Driver for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. Really basic match here but it made sense to put the belt on Taka at first. Christopher was just a guy who happened to be in the weight division and never fight the style at all. The match wasn’t bad or anything but the division never worked nearly as well as the company hoped it to.

Christopher would soon hook up with his long term partner Scott Taylor to form Too Much. Interestingly enough, they were going to get the Billy and Chuck gimmick but Christopher wouldn’t go for it. Instead they got to fight Al Snow and Head at King of the Ring 1998.

Too Much vs. Al Snow/Head

Yes Head, a mannequin head, is Snow’s partner. Too Much would later be known as Too Cool. We kept hearing about Snow wanting to stay but it wouldn’t work. Snow kept getting in trouble but blaming it on Head. That’s smart at least. This is in the video recap but I don’t feel like going back and editing this to make it right. Head stole the crown and they get a meeting with Vince if they win tonight.

Scotty looks weird with short blonde hair. Christopher looks stupid no matter what. Snow is in the back and Lawler talks to them and he makes fun of them and it goes nowhere. This is pre cool music but post peak of Snow’s powers. There are however a bunch of guys with Styrofoam heads bobbing them back and forth though. Jerry is announced as the guest referee to make it three on one. Oh sorry. Three on two.

Snow’s talented enough to count I guess. Oh oddly enough, Snow used to be a character called Avatar, a genie. How sad is it that Snow is more talented than all three heels combined by about 100 miles? Taylor tags in Christopher, only a master sexay at this moment I guess. Lawler has his crown on by the way. More or less this was designed to let Snow show off, which really was a good idea and something they needed to do more often.

Snow reaches for a tag and Christopher bites his hand. I’m not sure if I want to see him in the indys or not. He was terrible in the mainstream so how bad were they in a territory based company. Ross wonders who picked Lawler as the referee. My guess would be a combination of the writing team and Vince McMahon but what do I know?

I love that wheelbarrow suplex that Snow likes to use. Snow tags in Head and Ross has lost it. Snow covers Taylor as Lawler goes to the announce table and grabs something. Christopher covers head with a bottle of Head and Shoulders for the pin. Oh it was to make sure that the shoulders were down.

Rating: D+. Well it was a cute idea I guess and Snow got to show off out there, but seriously, Too Much being on my screen more than 5 minutes just makes my head hurt so this just failed completely for me. This wasn’t much and it was really just a comedy match so take it for what it is I guess.

The team wouldn’t do much for the rest of the year and then would miss a good chunk of 1999 due to injury. One of their first major matches back, now with Brian as Grandmaster Sexay and Taylor as Scotty Too Hotty, was at Survivor Series 1999.

Team Too Cool vs. Team Edge/Christian

Too Cool, The Hollys
Edge/Christian, Hardy Boys

This is just after the Hardys and the Canadians had the first tag team ladder match which would launch them into stardom soon after. Too Cool is still stupid here, as opposed to later on when they would be stupid and WAY over. The Hardys have Terri with them which wouldn’t last long. Edge and Scotty get things started as Jerry talks about Scotty’s pants. They chop it out in the corner before things speed up a bit and Edge spinwheel kicks him down.

Off to Crash vs. Matt with Matt getting two off a suplex. Crash gets crotched on the top and punched to the floor. Grandmaster sneaks up on Matt for a sunset bomb to the floor. We unleash the dives as everyone small enough to hits a big dive to take out everyone that was already on the floor with Jeff capping it off. Back in and Christian powerslams Crash for two. The Hollys hit a Hart Attack on Crash Christian for two of their own and Hardcore is in.

We’re promised an update on Austin at the end of this match because THIS MATCH of all things is more important than a guy being hit by a car. Off to Grandmaster whose bulldog is countered and he goes flying so far that he kicks the camera, giving us a cool visual. Off to Hardcore vs. Edge who starts spearing a lot of people. Grandmaster stops to dance and is immediately speared down. In the big melee, Hardcore rolls up Edge for the pin. Fifteen seconds later, Scotty hits a top rope DDT to eliminate Matt, making it 4-2.

Jeff and Scotty do a fast pinfall reversal sequence before Scotty hits the not yet popular Worm. A sitout powerbomb by Scotty with Grandmaster assisting gets two as does a middle rope missile dropkick from Sexay. Too Cool hits the second Hart Attack of the match which gets two on Jeff. Everything breaks down but the Hollys get in an argument. Terri gets on the apron for a distraction which lets Christian hit both of Too Cool low. Jeff hits a 450 on Scotty for the elimination.

So it’s Crash/Grandmaster/Hardcore Holly vs. Jeff and Christian. JR goes on a rant about Austin as Christian and Jeff try some Poetry in Motion, but Hardcore comes off the top with a missile dropkick in a SWEET looking counter. Grandmaster adds a guillotine legdrop for the elimination. Christian immediately hits a reverse DDT on Grandmaster to get us down to Christian vs. the Hollys.

JR continues to brood and want an update about Austin. Jerry needling him makes me chuckle as he’s awesome at being a jerk. Crash beats on Christian for a bit before it’s off to Hardcore again. Back to Crash who gets caught in the Unprettier/Killswitch for the pin. Christian tries a victory roll on Hardcore but Bob (Hardcore for you schmucks out there) falls on top for the final pin.

Rating: C+. The problem here was that the pairing that this should have been based around, Edge and Christian and the Hardys, were on the same team rather than getting to tear the house down against each other. The other two teams didn’t mean anything and the ending of this sucked. Once the Dudleys got involved with the brother teams, it was all gravy for almost two years.

Too Cool would get Rikishi as their big enforcer around this time. The act was so popular that they moved pretty far up the card, including main eventing the February 7, 2000 episode of Raw in a major ten man tag.

HHH/X-Pac/Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn vs. Cactus Jack/The Rock/???/???/???

Before the bell rings, Rikishi and Too Cool come out to even the odds. It’s a wild brawl to start and I’m not even going to try to call it. Rock and HHH are fighting on the ramp as Benoit and Cactus head into the crowd (DANG that could have been an awesome feud). Stephanie is on commentary and the fans are blowing the roof off the place. Grandmaster and X-Pac get things going and Sexay misses a middle rope knee drop.

Off to Saturn and Scotty, the latter of whom has a bandage around his head. He loads up the Worm (with five hops instead of four) but Malenko interferes before Scotty can cover. A big old suplex puts Scotty down and Dean comes in legally. Scotty gets in a shot and brings in Rikishi who runs Dean over. Off to Benoit who charges right into a Samoan Drop. He can’t suplex Rikishi but Benoit pounds on his back and is all like oh yeah boy you’re going and suplexes Rikishi down.

Jack comes in and pounds Benoit down into the corner. This is one of the hottest crowds I’ve ever seen. Jack goes for HHH and they head to the announce table. Saturn and Pac have to save HHH from death and we head back inside. HHH stomps Jack down in the corner and shoves the referee away. Off to Pac who almost immediately walks into a neckbreaker to take him down.

Hot tag brings in Rock and it’s spinebusters all around. Pac takes a Rock Bottom for two as HHH saves. Saturn kicks Rock down but Rock is having none of this Bronco Buster nonsense. Grandmaster hits the Hip Hop Drop but Pac gets up and kicks the goggles off Sexay’s head. HHH comes in again with the flying knee and it’s off to Saturn and Benoit for some double teaming.

Benoit suplexes Sexay down for two and it’s back to HHH. The heels are tagging incredibly fast. Grandmaster hits a double DDT out of nowhere on Benoit and HHH. There’s the hot tag to Cactus but the referee didn’t see it. Everything breaks down and HHH hits the Pedigree on Grandmaster followed by the Swan Dive from Benoit for the pin.

Rating: B. This seems like a match where the crowd reaction carried it to a higher level which is fine. It’s certainly better than I remember but it’s not as good as I’ve seen some people make it out to be. Anyway, you could see the great matches coming and this would give Too Cool a nice push, resulting in their only tag title run a few months after this.

The feud with the Radicalz continued at Wrestlemania 2000.

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

This would be Saturn/Malenko/Guerrero. They’re brand new at this point and Dean is already Light Heavyweight Champion. Too Cool was their first feud and it was a big enough deal that Too Cool rode it to a tag title reign in a few months. Eddie and Scotty start things off and Scott has his hat knocked off almost immediately. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Eddie down and it’s off to Chyna, sending Guerrero running off to Dean.

Malenko loads up a fast powerbomb but Scotty clotheslines him down to break it up. Chyna and the Grandmaster suplex Malenko down and it’s time to dance. Back to Eddie to face Grandmaster with Sexay hitting a quick suplex. Saturn breaks up the top rope legdrop though and the Radicalz take over. Perry comes in legally now and steals Grandmaster’s dew rag, somehow making him look even more ridiculous.

Eddie comes back in and allows Grandmaster to make a tag to Scotty. That goes badly for the non Radicalzas Scotty charges into a hot shot followed by the slingshot hilo for no cover. Grandmaster comes back in sans tag and throws Eddie to the floor as things fall apart. Scotty loads up a double Worm on Saturn and Malenko but an Eddie distraction lets them get back up. There’s no one in the ring at the moment until we get back to Scotty vs. Eddie. Perry comes back in and superkicks Hotty down.

A top rope elbow hits Scotty but again there’s no cover. Instead it’s back to Guerrero who goes up but takes too long, allowing Scotty to crotch him. A superplex puts both guys down and there’s the hot tag to Chyna. She cleans house with handspring elbows and a double low blow to Saturn and Malenko. Eddie decks her though, breaking part of her outfit in the process. Chyna escapes a powerbomb into one of her own, grabs Eddie’s crotch and slams him down before finishing him with a sleeper drop.

Rating: D+. This didn’t work for me for the most part but the main story of Chyna vs. Eddie was advanced which is the right idea. This would wind up meaning nothing (in a way) though as Chyna would fall victim to the Latino Heat the next day, starting a summer long relationship between the two. I guess that crotch grab changed her mind.

Remember that Tag Team Title run I mentioned? It started on Raw, May 29, 2000.

Tag Team Titles: Too Cool vs. Edge and Christian

Christian cranks on Grandmaster’s arm to start but Brian fights back with a missile dropkick. Off to Scotty for some dancing and a double clothesline. Time for the Moonwalk but Christian takes Scotty down with a spinwheel kick. Edge comes in and tries a powerbomb but Scotty botches the hurricanrana counter.

Instead he has to settle for a small package for two before it’s off to Grandmaster to clean house. His powerbomb on Christian works just fine before he and Edge fall to the floor. Scotty hits the Worm on Christian as Edge brings in a title belt. He’s knocked to the floor though and here’s Kid Rock’s midget friend Joe C. with a low blow, allowing Grandmaster to hit Edge with the belt for the pin and the titles in a big upset. The celebration is as low key as you can imagine.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing to see and I’m really surprised by how bored they seemed to win the belts. The title reign wouldn’t last all that long but this was a good example of the company listening to the crowd and giving someone popular a push. Too Cool winning the belts for a month wasn’t a stretch and the fans loved it. Everybody wins.

The title win would be the apex of the team’s run as they would fall down the card soon after and never recover. Scotty would get hurt so Grandmaster would have to fight on his own, including this match at Insurrextion 2001.

Grandmaster Sexay vs. Eddie Guerrero

This is one of Grandmaster’s final appearances with the company for reasons of suck I guess. Eddie lost the European Title to Matt Hardy of all people. It’s not like being European meant anything with only Regal and Bulldog being European. Eddie would be gone soon for drugs anyway so there we are. This is a very hot crowd with one Phoenix being in attendance. Yeah he was the other request.

Eddie doing the Sexay dance is hilarious to say the least. I think Eddie was supposed to be champion here as he lost it like a week earlier. Grandmaster, how do you freaking suck so much? Your dad is a legend and you’re just a freaking joke. And that’s being nice. He’s like an annoying indy gimmick that isn’t sure what his gimmick is. The crowd is ALL OVER Eddie. That’s not bad. Grandmaster misses a…something and gets rolled up with Eddie using the ropes to win from nowhere. That was really abrupt.

Rating: D+. Uh what the heck was that? Seriously it felt like it was 3 minutes short or something. Also, what the world is the idea of using these two in a match? It’s just random as but whatever. Not bad I guess. Then again this is one of those British house shows called a pay per view so it’s to be expected.

Christopher would hit the indies, including main eventing the first WWA PPV, the Revolution in a tournament final for the World Title.

WWA World Title: Brian Christopher vs. Jeff Jarrett

I’ve complained about Christopher enough so far. Christopher makes gay jokes about Jarrett to start but says he wants to death. Jarrett tosses him around to start and there’s the strut. Christopher comes back with a clothesline to send Jeff to the floor….and then he lowers his pants. A neckbreaker puts Jarrett right back on the floor as we’re firmly in a Memphis formula: do a move, play to the crowd a lot, then do another move and play to them more.

They fight into the crowd, and by fight I mean punch once and walk a lot, and we lose track of them. Brian gets a drink thrown in his face and Jeff chokes him a bit. We finally get back to ringside with Brian shaking off everything that’s been done to him so far. A charge misses in the corner and Brian gets crotched. Naturally, Jarrett poses. A cross body gets two for Brian and it’s off to a sleeper from Jeff.

After nearly two minutes of that, Brian hooks his own sleeper for a few seconds. A kick puts Jeff down and an enziguri (clearly missing by about six inches) gets two. Tornado DDT gets two more and they head to the floor. Brian superkicks a referee by mistake and we head back in. Christopher “hits” a guillotine legdrop for two from a replacement referee…and the referees start fighting. Jeff wins with a guitar shot and Stroke on the belt (there was a referee brawl in between the moves).

Rating: D. Standard match that really was a big brawl with some wrestling moves thrown in. In other words, the WCW main event formula minus five run-ins. Christopher was never believable as a main event threat here because HE’S FREAKING BRIAN CHRISTOPHER. Nothing to see here but it was probably the best match of the second half of the show.

It would be off to TNA after this with Brian appearing on the second show.

K-Krush vs. Brian Christopher

They keep swapping between calling his Brian Christopher and Brian Lawler. Christopher does his Too Cool dance to the ring and the NASCAR guys with him look at him like the idiot he looks like. Krush is the evil one here which I doubt was clear coming into this. He jumps Christopher to start but Brian comes back with a neckbreaker. A bulldog out of the corner gets two for Brian but a second results in him getting crotched on the middle rope.

Krush suplexes him down to take over again, getting a delayed two in the process. He does the backflip into the splits into the side kick spot that he uses today for two. Off to a chinlock as this is going nowhere. Brian fights up, I guess doing what you would call Cooling Up. An enziguri puts Krush down as does a Stunner but Krush hits an atomic drop to put him down. The NASCAR guys shake the ropes to crotch Krush and he falls right into position for the guillotine legdrop from Christopher for the pin.

Rating: D. This felt like a random match between two former WWF guys, and that’s not something interesting. At the end of the day, why in the world am I supposed to care about the guy best known as K-Kwik yells at some NASCAR drivers? Christopher without his Too Cool partners isn’t interesting either, at least not outside of Memphis. Nothing to see here.

And again at the tenth show.

Brian Lawler vs. Slash

Apparently this is a scheduled match for later but we’re getting it now instead. Slash knocks him to the floor and throws Lawler into the barricade before peeling back the mats. He loads up a piledriver on the floor but Lawler backdrops him down to prevent presumably death. Lawler knocks Slash down and we head up the ramp for a bulldog on the ramp by Lawler. Brian tries to get a chair from a fan but the fan won’t give it up.

Back in and Slash grabs a superplex for two, followed by what we would call the Eye of the Storm. Lawler comes back with a floatover DDT but stops to dance instead of covering. There’s an enziguri from Brian and there’s even more dancing. Both guys hit the other low (in front of the referee who is cool with this I guess) before Slash puts Lawler on top. Brian knocks him down and hits the guillotine legdrop for the pin.

Rating: D. This didn’t quite work because Lawler is really hard to care about. I have no idea if he’s a face or if he’s a heel here and the lack of clarity is really annoying after awhile. Also, the dancing thing is dead but he keeps doing it anyway because it used to work a few years ago. Slash and the Disciples of the New Church continue their free fall as well.

After several more years in the indies, Christopher would fall off radar for a good while. He would eventually return to the WWE on Old School Raw, January 6, 2014.

3MB vs. Too Cool/Rikishi

This is as obvious of a match as you can get. Grandmaster and Jinder get things going with Grandmaster scoring with a quick dropkick. Off to Scotty who is still in good shape but gets punched down by McIntyre. Drew misses a charge in the corner and the bulldog sets up the WORM. Slater robs us of our gratification though and 3MB takes over again. The announcers spend the entire match arguing over whether Too Cool can be called the Hip Hop Twins, thereby making the whole thing about them instead of the legends.

Scotty clotheslines McIntyre down and makes the hot tag to Rikishi who looks incredibly slow. He does manage a superkick to Mahal for two but Slater makes the save. Rikishi clotheslines two Band members down and the Hip Hop Drop takes out McIntyre. Mahal tries a sunset flip on Rikishi but gets sat on for the pin at 5:24.

Rating: D+. The match sucked and the commentary was annoying, but this is exactly what modern nostalgia should be about. Too Cool is an act that’s old enough for people to reminisce but not old enough that they embarrass themselves in the ring. Nobody is hurt, the fans get to have a fun moment and everybody wins. Good stuff.

This appearance got Too Cool a surprise spot on the first NXT special called Arrival.

NXT Tag Titles: Ascension vs. ???

There’s an open challenge from Ascension tonight and their opponents are…….TOO COOL??? That’s a rather bizarre choice to put it mildly. Viktor slaps Sexay down to start and doesn’t approve of the dancing. Off to Konor for a hard legdrop and even harder shoulder blocks. Viktor slams Sexay down and puts on a chinlock before driving in elbows. I think the fans say they want water and then gum. Sexay finally fights up and makes the hot tag to Scotty whose offense has very little effect. He gets the bulldog and loads up the Worm, only to have Viktor pop up and run him over. Fall of Man ends Scotty at 6:40.

Rating: D. This was WAY too long and Too Cool was the totally wrong choice for the challengers here. They’re a fun team who had a month long title reign FOURTEEN YEARS AGO. This is the problem with nostalgia: it’s fun to push every now and then, but when it’s pushed over teams that deserve the shots more, you’ve got a problem.

Brian Christopher is a guy who tried to get out of his dad’s shadow but only succeeded to a degree. His run in Too Cool is definitely the high point of his career and the crowd ate the act up. Brian’s talking in Memphis was great stuff but at the end of the day that act just didn’t work outside of the territory. Still though, he certainly wasn’t terrible and could fly well enough to get by.

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Today is one of those guys that could have been something very special if not for some personal demons. It’s Kerry Von Erich.

Tim Leonard vs. Kerry Von Erich

Leonard tries to jump Kerry before the bell but Von Erich shrugs it off and puts on a stomach claw (exactly what it sounds like) for the submission in about 40 seconds.

Here’s the feud Kerry was getting ready for, from some point in 1982 in Texas Stadium.

Kerry Von Erich vs. Harley Race

The winner gets a title shot against Ric Flair. Kerry uses his speed to start and hits a nice dropkick but gets small packaged for two. Off to a headlock on the veteran but Race slams him down and tries a headbutt, only to have Kerry just hold up his hands to block it. The Claw goes on and Race is suddenly screaming but he’s able to send Von Erich to the floor. Kerry slams him down on the concrete though and calmly waits in the ring.

Back in and Race easily takes him down with a chinlock but Kerry quickly fights back up and nails a discus punch. The referee goes down in a rare sight at this point, meaning Race’s piledriver only gets two. They fight to the floor again with Race in full control and ramming him into various metal objects. Some knees to the head have Kerry in even more trouble but he’s able to post Harley for a breather. Back in again and Kerry hammers away before putting on a sleeper.

Race is bleeding from the eye and sends Von Erich into the buckle to escape. A nice suplex puts Kerry down but Harley can’t follow up. Another headbutt misses and Kerry gets two before slamming Harley off the top. They collide again and fall out to the floor for a slugout with Kerry taking over. Back in and Race goes up top for a cross body but Kerry rolls through for the big upset.

Rating: C+. This was the stadium match style played very well and it worked like it was supposed to. For a show in this big of an area, you have to do stuff that is going to get noticed very easily. Almost everything here was a big move that could be seen from a long way off and the match worked well. Also notice that Race, nearing the end of his time on top, is putting young stars over clean. That’s what aging veterans are supposed to do.

As you likely know, Kerry’s brother David was supposed to win the NWA World Title but a bad case of death got in the way. Kerry got a shot instead, at the David Von Erich Memorial Parade of Champions on May 6, 1984 in Dallas.

NWA World Title: Ric Flair vs. Kerry Von Erich

You can tell this is a long time ago as Flair is from Minneapolis still. Kerry comes out to some country song that started after the beginning of Tom Sawyer played. His robe says In Memory of David and has a yellow rose, which was David’s nickname. If Flair gets disqualified, Kerry is champion. Kerry overpowers him to start and they hit the mat at a standoff.

They go back to the mat and no one can get control again. Kerry takes over and hits a dropkick to put Flair into the corner. They fight over a top wristlock and Kerry takes over again. This is a long feeling out process to start. Kerry gets a press slam and Flair begs off, heading to the floor. Flair gets in some shots but Kerry is like not in Texas dude. Sunset flip gets two.

Kerry hooks a sleeper but Flair suplexes out of it to take over. The champ uses his regular stuff to control, including the knee drop. Kerry snaps off a dropkick which Flair doesn’t even go down from. Flair gets caught in an abdominal stretch but escapes quickly. Shoulder puts Kerry down but he grabs the Iron Claw. After escaping, Flair goes up top but is slammed down. Kerry escapes a pair of Figure Fours and grabs a backslide for the pin and the title shot. The rematch to that match launched the legendary Von Erichs vs. Freebirds feud.

Rating: D+. That’s it? I mean really, that’s it? This wasn’t even 12 minutes long. It came off more like a modern TV main event than anything else. Flair never had Kerry in anything resembling trouble, although Kerry never dominated either. To be fair though, you couldn’t have made this more obvious if you had painted a big sign saying “come see Kerry win the title”. His match with David had been built up already so this was thrown together at the last minute. The lack of hatred hurt it, but there’s only so much they could do here.

I have to include a Freebirds match here, and this might be the best of them all. From July 4, 1984 and Meltzer’s match of the year.

Six Man Tag Team Titles: Von Erichs vs. Freebirds

The titles are vacant and this is a Badstreet Match, meaning anything goes. The heat on Michael Hayes is just nuts but the Von Erichs are as over as free beer in a frat house. It’s Kerry, Kevin and the lowly Mike here. Mike tried but he just wasn’t very athletic and it caught up with him. The brawl is on while the announcer is still doing the intros and we’re told there are NO tags, instantly making this more awesome.

The Von Erichs clean house to start but the Freebirds are right back in to keep fighting. Kevin takes off his belt to hammer on Terry Gordy but Mike is thrown to the floor to give the Von Erichs a disadvantage. Terry is sent to the floor almost immediately after and Mike comes back in, only to hit Kerry by mistake. Gordy hits Mike low to put him down and this is going WAY too fast to keep up with.

Kevin has a boot off and is hitting any bird that he can find before a triple dropkick puts Terry outside again. He gets back in and nailed with the boot over and over again before Hayes is pulled back in over the top rope. Mike spends too much time beating up Buddy Roberts though and Hayes gets in a boot shot to the back of his head. Kevin slaps the Claw on Hayes but Gordy makes the save, only to get nailed with the boot some more.

Kevin is knocked to the floor as things slow down to just insane instead of unable to keep track of anything. Gordy rakes Kerry’s face as a cameraman goes down. Mike’s foot is caught in the ropes and Kevin is busted open. Terry hits Buddy with a boot by mistake and Mike sends Roberts to the floor. Everyone is back in again and with everything going nuts, Killer Khan comes in and blasts Kerry with something, giving Hayes the pin.

Rating: A-. Oh yeah I see why this is loved. They did not stop for nine minutes straight and just beat the tar out of each other the entire time. There’s no way you can have the Von Erichs lose a straight fight and this sets up the Von Erichs vs. Khan which is fine to keep things going. Great match, though I’m not sure on Match of the Year.

Von Erich had lost the title about a month after winning it, but had a rematch on January 6, 1985.

NWA World Title: Kerry Von Erich vs. Ric Flair

Flair being billed from Minnesota never sounds right. Mercer plays up the whole athlete vs. veteran which is very true. The Modern Day Warrior (Kerry’s awesome nickname) wins a top wristlock as we haven’t gotten into this very hard yet. They hit the mat and Kerry hammers away on the arm as he’s got enough energy that I’d believe he’s high as a kite.

Kerry is mostly controlling here and we get a staredown. Allegedly Kerry was voted most popular wrestler in the world according to PWI. That would be rather impressive given that Wrestlemania was right around the corner. Five minutes in and no one has a distinct advantage at all. Headscissors takes Flair down as he can’t figure out a way around the power here.

Flair grabs a leglock and cranks back on it but Von Erich grabs his chin and tries to hold him down for a pin at the same time in a spot I haven’t seen before I don’t think. Back to the headscissors now. A rope gets the champion out of trouble and here he comes. Ten minutes in now as Flair drops the knee. Kerry is sent to the floor and is bleeding slightly from the stomach. I think the cocaine is supposed to go into your nose dude.

Kerry comes back and hits a discus punch to send Flair reeling. There’s a sleeper which is called a sleep hold by Mercer. Flair is like screw that and goes after the knee. Backslide gets two for Kerry which is what he won the title with in the first place. Suplex gets a pin and it’s a Dusty Finish as Flair gets his foot under the rope. Why you sneaky Texans you!

Flair throws his feet on the ropes for two and the referee pulls him off which is probably not that smart. Here comes Kerry again and it’s Flair Flip time. He comes off the top but jumps into the Claw which is Kerry’s finisher. Flair gets a clean counter though and collapses seconds later with a Flair Flop. It says a lot when basic falls have their own names. Kerry hooks a Figure Four on Flair!

Flair is busted open despite not getting hit in the head. Why does that not surprise me in the slightest? Flair shoves the referee out of the ring but can’t get disqualified because of it. He gets to the rope and this referee gets all physical and breaks up the hold by himself. Another slam off the top sets up the Claw again as Flair is in big trouble. Somehow he manages to get a hiptoss to send Kerry over the top, and since this is the NWA, it’s a WEAK DQ!

Rating: C+. Von Erich didn’t have much in the way of offense but he knew how to time his stuff to make the most drama out of everything he did. The ending was WEAK as you would expect but it made Von Erich look strong still which is fine but it’s not like we couldn’t have a better ending. The match wasn’t anything great but it was entertaining and didn’t feel like nearly 20 minutes at all.

Kerry would be in a horrible motorcycle accident in 1986, putting him out of action for most of that year and almost all of 1987. This also resulted in him having a prosthetic foot for the rest of his life. Also around this time, the WWF was basically killing everything not called the NWA, so the rest of the promotions hooked up to form a massive organization minus any form of coherence. The idea was to unify the WCCW and AWA World Titles at a show called SuperClash III. Kerry was WCCW World Champion at the time.

AWA World Title/WCCW World Title: Jerry Lawler vs. Kerry Von Erich

This is a legit unification match which is rarer than anything you’ll ever see in modern wrestling. This would be like the TNA Champion and ROH Champion unifying their belts. See what I mean? The unification lasted like a month because no one could actually let that stand. Lawler comes out to Gonna Fly Now. That takes guts. Both guys are faces but Lawler is the de facto heel.

Kerry, ever the brilliant guy, cuts his left arm half to pieces TAKING HIS JACKET OFF, because that’s where he was keeping his razor. There is literally blood dripping onto the mat 5 seconds into the match. Lawler rams it into the post like 40 seconds in to give it a reason to bleed, which shows some intelligence. Marshall manages to confuse right and left. And people wonder why this company folded.

Kerry hits a big right hand to take over and keeps checking his cut. Marshall says both of them have beaten Flair, Savage and Hogan. That’s true in Lawler’s case but I don’t remember ANY instance of Von Erich even facing Savage or Hogan. Then again he messed up left and right not 2 minutes ago so I’d take that with a grain of salt. Von Erich gets a clothesline and Lawler is annoyed.

Still feeling out now. Again remember that Lawler is a legit tough guy here and not a comedy guy that is a grizzled veteran. School boy gets two for Kerry. They do a test of strength which even the announcers say is stupid for Lawler. Jerry misses a right hand and the discus punch gets two. Lawler sends him to the floor and takes over as we’re into the meat of the match now.

Piledriver is loaded up and hits but Kerry beats him to his feet. Another discus punch hits for two. Claw goes on but he can’t quite cinch it in. A knee drop misses and Jerry gets a second wind. And there goes the referee about ten minutes in. Von Erich gets a Piledriver and there’s no referee. There is blood everywhere. Outside and Kerry punches the post by mistake, shifting momentum again.

Lawler does the Memphis standard of pretending to have a foreign object to drive the fans nuts. There’s nothing in his hand but it looks great. Kerry’s head is busted now and Lawler goes in for the kill, hitting the middle rope punch for two. He throws in the foreign object on the second one but Lawler jumps into the Iron Claw on the stomach (just go with it). The regular Claw goes on and blood is literally dripping off Von Erich’s head. Jerry finally gets a rope but it goes on again, this time in the middle of the ring.

The referee keeps checking on the cut and Kerry keeps shaking his head to make it harder to do, probably thinking there’s too much blood there. They get up and Kerry misses a charge in the corner to send Kerry’s head into the post. I was wrong earlier as they’ve found new places to bleed on. They slug it out and Lawler gets the object again for another shot.

Kerry’s tights have blood on them and are half red now when they started as white. Jerry goes after the eye like a crazy man and just picks his shots now. Kerry misses a big swing and it’s Ali Shuffle time. Time for the object again and Von Erich hits the floor. Lawler gets a running punch back in and Kerry is somehow able to fight back.

Discus punch hits in the corner and the referee keeps wanting to check on the cut. They punch each other and the referee finally gets to check on the cut. The fans are totally behind Kerry here. Claw goes on again and Lawler is almost dead but gets his arm up at the last possible second a few times. The referee checks the eye again and stops the match with Lawler out cold. Not for Lawler passing out, but because Von Erich “can’t continue.” WEAK ending, especially when Lawler is unconscious.

Rating: B+. This would have been a lot higher if they got the ending right. The blood thing works if they’re both down or something, but with Lawler out cold in the Claw and somehow winning there, I don’t get how that exactly works. Still though, this wouldn’t last long at all as the AWA stripped their title off Lawler in January or so and Larry Zbyszko of all people won it due to being Verne’s son in law.

Part of this deal was the merger of the CWA and WCCW into the USWA. Kerry would appear on their main show on August 11, 1989.

Jimmy Jack Funk/Kerry Von Erich vs. Al Perez/Taurus Bulba

Perez vs. Kerry gets us going. They fight for position early and then get in each others’ faces. Kerry grabs the arm and it’s off to Jimmy Jack. The guys on the apron almost get into it out there as (and by that I mean Marc talking to himself) talk about the cage match. Kerry throws the chair at Taurus. Akbar is at ringside too. Lowrance talks about how all of the good things from WCCW will be around in the USWA also. Bulba comes in but misses an elbow to Funk. Back to Von Erich who LOUDLY says put your foot up, which is exactly what Taurus does in the corner. Bulba runs from the Claw and takes Kerry back down.

An elbow drop keeps Kerry down as Akbar talks about how awesome Devastation Inc is. Bulba comes off the top but jumps into the Claw. He makes the rope though and it heads to the floor. The Claw goes on outside and they go towards the crowd. Bulba goes into the post and allegedly we’re at 10 minutes. More like 4 but whatever. Tornado Punch sends Bulba into the barricade but Perez hits Kerry with a chair. Everything breaks down and somehow there isn’t a DQ.

We have four minutes left in the time limit and Kerry is double teamed in the corner. Perez hooks a sleeper on Kerry and takes him down with three minutes to go. Kerry gets out and punches Perez down. Off to Funk and everything breaks down again. Somehow we’re now down to one minute as they’re not even trying to hide the clock changes. A lot of pins are broken up but Kerry gets the Claw on Perez with 15 seconds left. And never mind because it’s a draw.

Rating: C. This was a pretty high impact brawl and I’d assume it was to advance a Perez vs. Kerry feud, which is fine. Bulba was a Mongolian which is a tried and true indy heel gimmick. Not a great match or anything but the crowd was into it and it wasn’t a bad match at all. The clock thing was just laughable though.

And again on January 27, 1990.

Texas Title: Chris Youngblood vs. Kerry Von Erich

Well Lawler is certainly better than Garvin. Lawler wants to know how Kerry can call himself a Modern Day Warrior when he’s a washed up has been. Kerry is defending of course. He wants Lawler gone for his match but Jerry is allowed to stay. Lawler leaves on his own so he can watch Youngblood take the title. Kerry punches Chris to the floor to start and grabs a quick Claw but Youngblood bails.

We take a break and come back with Youngblood chopping in the corner. There’s a guitar on a pole match coming up. Holy Russo Batman! Youngblood hooks a wristlock but Kerry comes back with a discus punch to tie Youngblood up in the ropes. Chris tries to leave so they fight on the floor with Kerry’s face going into the post. Kerry takes a chair to the back but it’s not a DQ. Kerry tries the discus punch but he hits the post.

Youngblood works over the hand now. He’s a Medicine Man if I didn’t mention that. Back inside and it’s time for an abdominal stretch. You know, after Kerry punched a steel post. Kerry escapes and loads up the Claw but Youngblood blocks it. Kerry settles for the Stomach Claw instead but Youngblood punches out of it and we head back to the floor. Back in the ring the discus punch hits again as does a piledriver. Youngblood is up way too fast so Kerry rolls him up for the pin.

Rating: C-. This match was nothing great but WOW what a breath of fresh air this was to have someone out there that was capable of showing some energy instead of just standing around and moving very slowly. Kerry may have been drugged out of his mind most matches but he could get a crowd going and that’s more than most people lately have been able to say.

Kerry would get signed up by the WWF soon after this and debut as the Texas Tornado. Here’s one of his first matches on Saturday Night’s Main Event XXVII.

Buddy Rose vs. Texas Tornado

This was more or less Von Erich’s debut. Screw the more or less part actually. Rose is one of two that opened the first Wrestlemanias actually. Vince makes a ton of fat jokes for Rose which are annoying. This is ALL Von Erich as it’s a squash. He gets in the basic stuff but Rose makes a short comeback, leading to the Tornado Punch for the pin.

Rating: N/A. It’s a squash to end the show. Von Erich would win the IC Title in a few weeks.

Sorry for the spoiler and here’s the match from Summerslam 1990.

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Texas Tornado

Tornado launches him into the corner to start and Perfect has a breather on the floor. The idea is that Perfect hasn’t had time to plan for Tornado and doesn’t know how to deal with him. Back in and Perfect hooks a quick hiptoss but Tornado slams him down and clotheslines Perfect out to the floor.

Back in and Perfect hits a clothesline of his own and the necksnap has Tornado in trouble. Off to a sleeper on Tornado but he quickly makes the rope. Perfect tries slapping him in the face, but Tornado pulls him into a slingshot, sending Perfect head first into the post. The Claw hold and Tornado Punch are enough for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. This is a weird one as it’s about three and a half minutes of stalling before the fast ending. This was supposed to be Brutus Beefcake’s shot but he injured his face in a parasailing accident and Tornado was here as a surprise, which is likely why they went with the title change. Perfect would get the title back a few weeks later.

Kerry would be on a pretty awesome team of WARRIORS to open Survivor Series 1990.

The Warriors vs. The Perfect Team

Ultimate Warrior, Texas Tornado, Legion of Doom
Mr. Perfect, Demolition

I guess this team isn’t as Ultimate as last year. This is the three man version of Demolition. Perfect is feuding with Tornado (Kerry Von Erich, the IC Champion) and the LOD is feuding with Demolition after the LOD cost them the titles. Warrior, the world champion, is there because he has nothing else to do. His team is in the back before the match and says they’ll win. Actually the name Warriors is appropriate as you have the Ultimate Warrior, the Modern Day Warrior (Von Erich’s nickname in WCCW) and the Road Warriors (the LOD’s NWA name).

I’ll never get why the LOD and Demolition never had a big proper match. They fought on house shows but that’s about it. Perfect immediately goes to the apron and lets part of Demolition start. It’s Animal vs. Smash first and they fight immediately with Animal taking him to the mat. Animal throws him into Hawk for a right hand and the other Warriors get in a shot as well.

Smash comes back with a powerslam for two and it’s off to Perfect. That doesn’t last long so here’s Smash again, and he walks right into a powerslam. Everything breaks down and the Warriors clear the ring. Tornado comes in to face Smash who is taking a beating in this so far. Off to Ax who has much better luck for about ten seconds. There’s the Claw from Tornado but for some reason Warrior gets the tag and hits a series of awkward looking shoulder blocks before finishing Ax with the splash.

Crush immediately comes in to jump Warrior and take over. Smash comes in to slam Warrior and Crush drops a top rope knee for two. Perfect is freaking out in his trademark over the top style. Warrior gets up a boot in the corner and clotheslines Crush down. Off to Hawk who always looks like he could murder someone in the ring. Perfect tries him out and is immediately slammed down.

Hawk counters a reversal to send Perfect into the corner but Bird Man’s shoulder goes into the post HARD to give the evil ones the advantage. Demolition pounds away on him but Hawk punches right back. A big flying shoulder puts Smash down and Hawk doesn’t tag when he has the chance. The top rope clothesline kills Smash and everything breaks down. Hawk kicks the referee and somehow this disqualifies Hawk, Animal, Smash and Crush. We’re down to Perfect vs. Warrior/Tornado.

It’s going to be Warrior starting the handicap match but Perfect wants Tornado instead. Perfect immediately jumps him and is clotheslined out almost immediately after the jumping. Warrior bangs Perfect’s head into Heenan’s and sends Bobby into the front row. Tornado charges at Perfect and slams into the post to give Perfect the advantage for a bit. A buckle gets exposed somewhere in there and after Tornado’s face goes into it, the Perfectplex makes it one on one.

Perfect tries the Plex again on Warrior which doesn’t work at all. Instead he hammers Warrior down and hits a great looking dropkick for two. Having Perfect run things out there for as long as possible is the best idea they’ve got. Warrior starts grabbing the ropes and shrugging off all the offense from Perfect. A shoulder block and the splash get the final pin.

Rating: D. This was probably the worst Survivor Series match so far in the four years they’ve been running this show. Not only was the match lopsided from the start, but half of the people in it were gone seven minutes in. Perfect never had a chance and Warrior had no reason to be in this match at all.

Here’s a rematch with Perfect on December 12, 1990.

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Texas Tornado

As Tornado already lost the title his fall into mediocrity would begin very soon. Von Erich jumps him before he even takes his jacket off. And never mind as he takes it off and Perfect throws him to the floor. Tornado Punch on the floor and Perfect’s selling continues to be awesome. Things finally calm down a bit as Tornado keeps hammering away and throws on a Boston Crab. So the Texan put a Boston…..nah I’ve used that too much lately.

Perfect is bumping so much that he’s bumping before he even gets hit. Claw Hold goes on but only for a few seconds as Mr. goes to the eyes. Sleeper goes on by Perfect to waste some time. After it gets broken up, Tornado’s shoulder hits the post which winds up going nowhere as Perfect takes a Tornado punch in the corner. He tries it again on the floor but punches the post by mistake.

Into the post goes his head this time which somehow isn’t a DQ but is a nice bit of continuity with their Summerslam match as Perfect hit the post there and said it cost him the match. Perfectplex gets two and a decent pop from the crowd. The Claw on the other hand, gets NOTHING. I was typing and didn’t even notice that the hold went on. Perfect pulls the referee in the way which again isn’t a DQ. Tornado Punch gets a long two and now it’s a DQ after he makes the count. No one ever accused 1990 of making a ton of sense.

Rating: D+. Match was kind of a mess here as Tornado was nothing of note at all from the second he lost the title on. The ending made no sense at all as the referee was totally biased if he wanted to count the pin before he was going to DQ Perfect anyway. Just a dark match at a Wrestling Challenge taping though so it’s not like it mattered.

Kerry’s stock would plummet soon after this but he would still have a singles match at Wrestlemania VII.

Dino Bravo vs. Texas Tornado

Von Erich popped into the company around Summerslam, won the IC Title from Perfect, lost it and was immediately a jobber to the stars until he went back to Texas. It’s a fast brawl to start but Bravo avoids the claw. Heenan is on commentary now. Von Erich runs into a boot in the corner and Dino takes over for a bit. The side suplex puts Tornado down for two and that’s about it for Bravo. A few seconds later it’s Claw and Tornado Punch for the pin on Bravo.

Rating: D. Nothing at all to see here and it’s a match that easily could have been cut. This was Bravo’s last televised match before he left the company for good a year or so later. Afterwords he would soon be murdered in an illegal cigarette smuggling operation in Canada. Now there’s a story that you can’t make up.

We’ll wrap it up with Kerry’s jobber to the stars days, starting with a man about to become World Champion. From November 10, 1991 on Wrestling Challenge.

Texas Tornado vs. Undertaker

I love old Undertaker’s blank stare that says he just doesn’t care about any of this and just wants to hurt people. An early Paul Bearer distraction lets Undertaker get in some cheap shots but Kerry clotheslines him to the floor. Naturally Undertaker lands on his feet and the brawl heads outside, only to have him come back inside for the Tombstone.

Rating: D. This was just a step above a squash but like I said, Kerry was just a jobber to the stars at this point. Undertaker would of course win the title in about two weeks and never really look back. Nothing to see here but the Undertaker was so perfect for the character that you couldn’t take your eyes off of him.

And from Prime Time Wrestling on July 12, 1992.

Shawn Michaels vs. Texas Tornado

Long stall session to start until Kerry shoves Shawn down with ease. Another right hand sends Shawn outside for a look into the mirror as the stalling continues. Shawn goes back in and is punched out almost immediately as we’re somehow four minutes into this. Kerry finally goes after him and gets in a tug of war with Sherri over Shawn. Naturally Michaels winds up on the floor again as this has been all Tornado so far. Back in again and Shawn finally gets a boot up to stop a charging Tornado.

Sherri gets in a shot of her own and the yet to be named superkick knocks Kerry silly. A right hand gets one on Shawn with Gorilla groaning at how lame Kerry’s cover was. The Claw goes on but Shawn gets to the ropes….for no break. Sherri pulls Shawn’s tights down because it’s required in his match, sending Shawn face first into the mirror to draw blood. Kerry went outside as well though and Sherri throws Shawn back inside for the countout.

Rating: D. This was pretty messy with the ending being even worse. It was clear that Kerry’s head just wasn’t in this anymore and he wouldn’t be long for the WWF. From what I can tell he was putting Kamala over soon after this before leaving. Let that sink in for a minute. He had to make KAMALA look good.

Kerry would shoot himself in February of the following year just after he turned 33. Allegedly it was due to his personal life falling apart and a long jail sentence looming. Overall Kerry is a very talented guy but the personal issues got to him. He was a BIG deal in the 80s though and even got the World Title. Yeah it was under some shaky circumstances, but he held the gold and that’s all that matters. It’s a shake what happened to him as he could have been a big deal for years to come.

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Speaking of people from Seattle named after a basic tool, I give you Greg “The Hammer” Valentine.

Greg Valentine vs. Chief Jay Strongbow

Valentine jumps Jay as he gets in the ring but Strongbow is quickly on the warpath and taking over. A bunch of chops get two on Valentine and some shots with a foreign object bust him open. Strongbow goes outside and chokes with a camera cord before hitting him in the head with a stool. Somehow this isn’t a DQ and Valentine is able to get to the floor for a breather. Back in and Greg goes after the leg but has to stop another warpath. The third warpath is knocked to the floor but Valentine is pulled to the floor.

An editing move sends us to a crowd shot during the beatdown before they both head back inside. Some knees to the face put Valentine down and Jay pulls him back inside when Greg tries to escape. He finally makes it to the floor before heading right back into the ring where Jay shrugs off some right hands. They ram heads with both guys rolling to the floor. Only Valentine slides back in for a countout win.

Rating: D. It was a good attempt at revenge by Strongbow but the match felt all over the place. The leg work by Greg made sense but they felt like they were trying about four different finishes before the really fast countout. It’s not the worst match in the world but this needed a better structure.

Valentine was a big deal in the company and would get a WWF Title shot on October 19, 1981 in MSG.

Bob Backlund vs. Greg Valentine

The Grand Wizard has yet another new client in Greg Valentine. Backlund has Arnold Skaaland with him, who has managed both Sammartino as well as the current champion. This is a regular one on one match rather than the death matches we’ve been looking at. It’s a feeling out process to start with Valentine hooking a quick armdrag for not much effect. A slam puts Backlund down again and Bob isn’t sure what to do. Backlund comes back with an armdrag and hip toss of his own to stagger Valentine and Greg wants a breather.

Greg comes back with some right hands to the ribs in the corner but it results in a standoff instead of an advantage. A quick shoulder to the ribs of Valentine staggers him a bit so they try a test of strength. Valentine fires off some shots to the ribs to take over before going to work on the champion’s knee. There’s a half crab from Valentine and Backlund is in some trouble. Backlund fights up and escapes the hold via a monkey flip but Greg gets in a shot to the back of the head to take over again.

The challenger goes back to the leg by cranking on the ankle before shifting over to the ribs via an abdominal stretch. Bob reverses into one of his own but Valentine goes back to the knee to take control once again. Valentine cranks on a leg lock before dropping some elbows on the bad leg. A spinning toe hold works on the leg even more but Bob kicks him away. They trade forearms to the face but both guys collapse down to the mat.

Backlund is up first but a slam attempt fails, giving Valentine a two count. Greg hits him in the knee again but still can’t put on the Figure Four Leg Lock. Instead Valentine kicks him to the floor before pounding away at Backlund on the ring apron. Back in again and Bob is getting fired up as the blows from Greg are having less effect each time. The champion starts hammering away on Valentine’s leg now, wrapping it up in the ropes and kicking at the inner thigh.

Bob knocks him down again but can only get two. A suplex gets the same for Valentine but Backlund comes back with one of his own for a delayed two count. A cross body gets two for the champion but Valentine chokes him down with the ring rope. Greg goes for the leg again and hooks the Figure Four but it’s not on that well. Backlund is easily able to roll into the ropes to break the hold but some damage has been done. Bob comes back with a piledriver out of nowhere and Valentine is in trouble.

Greg gets into the ropes to avoid being covered before going back to the knee. Backlund fights out of another Figure Four attempt but can’t avoid the shots to the knee in the corner. A middle rope elbow drop misses Backlund though and the champion has an opening. They trade headbutts from their knees before Backlund hooks a belly to back suplex to put both guys down again. Valentine gets back up and puts Backlund in an airplane spin during which the referee is accidentally kicked in the head by the champion. Greg is dizzy from spinning Backlund around though and Bob falls on top of him for the pin to retain the title.

Rating: B. This was another good match as Backlund is starting to find his rhythm as champion a mere four years into his title reign. The idea here of Valentine trying to get the Figure Four time after time but never being able to hook it properly was a good story throughout the match but the fact that it didn’t play into the finish hurt things a bit. The finish however is the most important part of the match for reasons yet to be explained.

After the match is over, the confused referee hands Valentine the championship due to being confused by the kick to the head. There was no question about who was pinned but Greg leaves with the title anyway. An official announcement is made that the title is being held up and there is no champion. Valentine wasn’t the official champion and Backlund would be recognized as the champion in cities other than New York. This was an old tactic to build interest in a rematch in this city only, meaning that this doesn’t interrupt Backlund’s title reign. Bob would win a rematch in a little over a month.

We’ll jump ahead a bit to probably the most famous match of Valentine’s career. Greg is back in the NWA and the US Champion. He’s recently busted Roddy Piper’s ear and is facing him in the second biggest match at the first Starrcade in 1983.

Roddy Piper vs. Greg Valentine

Greg is US Champion but this is non-title because it’s a dog collar match. The idea is they both have collars around their neck and there’s a chain attaching the two collars, meaning neither guy can run away. Anything goes and you can win by pinfall. This match came about because Valentine injured Piper’s ear in the match where he won the title. They immediately start by pulling on the chain with their necks in a painful looking tug of war. Neither guy can get an advantage so they both start pulling on the chain to get closer to each other.

Piper gets in the first shot with the chain and Valentine is mad. They back up again but Valentine misses some swings and Piper gets back to the corner. Both guys come to the center of the ring for a slugout but no one can take over. Roddy gets in some shots with the chain and Valentine is in trouble. Greg goes for the bad ear and start choking away with the chain but also wrapping the chain around Piper’s face for extra torture.

Piper comes back with some shots to the eyes of his own before choking away in the middle of the ring. Valentine is sent into the corner and Piper keeps pounding away on the head. Piper takes it to the floor for some HARD shots with the chain as they head into the barricade. Greg gets in some shots to the bad ear and Piper is bleeding from the side of his head.

Back in and Valentine pounds away but Piper blocks a suplex. A hard elbow gets two for Valentine but Piper is in big trouble. Greg tries to hit the ropes but Piper pulls the chain to bring him down. Piper goes NUTS on Valentine and pounds away on him, busting the champion open in the process. Valentine goes right back to the ear but Piper comes back with some straight left hands to the jaw. A BIG right hand drops Valentine but Greg goes after the ear again to take over. Greg gets two off a knee drop as both guys are tiring.

A chain shot to Piper’s ear gets two but Roddy comes back with a suplex to put both guys down. Greg grabs a quick sleeper but Piper’s arm only drops once. Roddy wraps the chain around his hand but the hold slows him down again. A jawbreaker gets Piper out of the hold but it’s Valentine going up first. Roddy pulls him off the ropes and beats the tar out of him with the chain before tying the legs up to pin Valentine. Solie says that was for the title but corrects himself a few seconds later.

Rating: B+. This is a very hard hitting brawl but it can be a bit slow at times. This is the match that made people realize how insane Piper could be as he went out there and took an insane beating before coming back time after time and trying to hurt Valentine. He would jump to the WWF soon after and become the top villain in the world, which is what he deserved to be.

It was soon back to the WWF and Valentine was near the top again, including a World Title shot at Brawl to End It All.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Greg Valentine

Valentine was a much bigger deal back in this era, even “being awarded” the WWF Title once in a big mess that was a pretty decent story. Anyway let’s get to this. We get promos from both guys. Valentine says Hogan is going to feel his wrath. There’s a reason he rarely talked. Albano is his manager. This guy was BUSY back then.

Hogan had only been champion about 6 months at this point so his title reign wasn’t really huge yet. Eye of the Tiger for his music at this point along with the white tights. Sweet GOODNESS Hogan is over. The song fits perfectly here, almost better than Real American. What was up with the five bell strikes after everything Fink said? Hammer jumps Hogan and we’re on.

Oh come on it’s 1984 like that’s going to work at all. This is Hogan back when he was in his 20s so he’s moving incredibly well. Scratch that actually as he’s 31 here. It’s so weird to think that his big break didn’t come until he was that old. It just comes off as strange in today’s era of people being world champion by their mid 20s.

Valentine reverses a headlock into a suplex to take some control. Hogan takes back over a bit later with just pure power. He even throws in a shoulderbreaker to mess with our heads a bit. We hit the floor and it’s all Hogan. Valentine jumps him as he gets back in and Gene says it’s because Valentine is a capitalist. Ok then.

A chinlock has our hero in trouble. Hogan does the always funny finger shake of no before the comeback. He throws some left hands which are weird to see from him. Valentine gets some chair shots to the knee and the referee is ok with it I guess. Figure four is blocked twice so Valentine just punches him. Rather than Hulking Up Hogan just hits Valentine as he’s coming off the top and drops the leg to retain. It was a different time I guess.

Rating: C+. Nothing that special here as it’s really just a standard Hogan title defense. It’s not bad or anything but it’s just Hogan out there doing his thing and not really looking like he’s in that much trouble. Still though he was moving very well out there and had the place rocking so I’ll give him something for that. Decent match and fine for a basic title defense.

Time for Greg’s most famous feud against Tito Santana. Greg would challenge Tito for the Intercontinental Title in MSG on October 22, 1984.

Intercontinental Title: Greg Valentine vs. Tito Santana

This should be good. Since when did Valentine have Lou Albano with him? Valentine took the title from Santana and injured Tito’s knee, putting him out of action, making tonight about revenge. Santana goes right after Valentine from the opening bell and knocks the belt out of Greg’s hands. Valentine goes face first into the mat as it’s all Tito so far. The fans are finally awake for this

Greg comes back with right hands but Tito wins the slugout and sends the champion to the floor. Tito is fine with beating up Valentine on the floor and brings him back inside to ram the champ’s head into the mat. Valentine finally gets a breather after raking the eyes and a knee sends Tito to the floor. Albano gets in a cheap shot of his own but Tito pulls Valentine to the floor to keep up the brawl. Valentine grabs a chair and THROWS IT at Tito but only hits the apron. They head back inside with the chair and Tito cracks Valentine in the head, busting him open. Somehow that isn’t a DQ but Tito throws the referee down for the bell.

Rating: C+. This was short but VERY intense throughout. Tito knew how to work a crowd into a frenzy and the New York crowds ate him up with a spoon. This was one of those feuds that was going to work no matter what they did and this was no exception. Also it woke the crowd up which was what this show needed more than anything.

Greg would get the title a month later and defend it at Wrestlemania I.

Intercontinental Title: Junkyard Dog vs. Greg Valentine

Dog cranks on the arm to start and punches him in the shoulder ala Marciano. A punch to the face takes Valentine down and a headbutt sends the champion (Greg in case you’re not familiar with this era) to the floor. Valentine tries his luck at the arm now and pounds away with some forearms to the back of the head. I’m not sure if that should hurt the Dog or not.

The champion goes after the leg now with what looks to be the start of a half crab but he never turns Dog over. A kind of DDT on the leg has the Dog in trouble again and there’s a headbutt between the legs. Dog breaks up the Figure Four and hits a headbutt to stagger the champ some more. Jimmy Hart tries to interfere but Dog causes Valentine to blast him in the head instead. Valentine grabs a fast rollup and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: D+. I’m getting tired of using that rating but this is what the matches keep coming out as: not terrible but nothing good at all. Valentine would get back to his current feud with Tito Santana very soon with the title changing hands pretty soon if I remember properly. Dog was there as more of a fun character than a serious threat so this was fine.

Speaking of Santana, here he is to tell the referee what happened. The referee restarts the match but Valentine walks out for the countout without ever getting back in. That’s just building Santana vs. Valentine for later.

And here is one of those laters, from July 6, 1985 in Baltimore.

Intercontinental Title: Greg Valentine vs. Tito Santana

In Baltimore here and in a cage. Tito drags him into the cage and it’s on. No commentary again with Gorilla doing the voiceover. Valentine goes for the door early but Tito makes the save. This should be good either way. Both try to get out and can’t do it as the other grabs his foot. Valentine keeps trying to run which makes sense. I’m not entirely sure if I get why Tito keeps trying to run as this is supposed to be his big revenge match. I guess getting the title back is enough revenge for him.

Shoulder breaker by Valentine but you would think he would go after the leg but whatever. Escape only here if I didn’t mention that. I like the old school thoughts on cage matches like that too as pins in a cage match are kind of stupid when you think about it. Tito blocks the Figure Four as the violence is a bit low here. Gorilla points out that the figure four is a bit stupid as you can’t win by submission which makes sense to a degree I guess.

Flying forearm by Tito takes Greg down. Tito goes into the cage as this is very much back and forth. Very slow paced match but they’re hammering away in there and it’s working well I think. It’s very weird to see the match presented like this as the ring is only kind of microphoned here so you don’t here the ring make any noise at all.

This is more about the cage itself as this is back in the day when a gimmick match still meant something and wasn’t more or less something you throw in as a free prize in a cereal box. Tito gets a leg over the top but still can’t get out. Make that both legs out as Valentine is going for the door which Tito kicks on his head to get out and get the title back.

Rating: B-. This was more about the aura of the cage rather than the guys in there. Tito gets the title back and gets his revenge by beating on Valentine very well. This wasn’t a classic or anything but it was definitely a good conclusion to their feud which was always good. This worked.

Valentine would soon move into a tag team along with Brutus Beefcake. After winning the Tag Team Titles from the US Express, they would lose them to the British Bulldogs at Wrestlemania II. This led to some singles matches between the teams, including this on April 22, 1986.

Davey Boy Smith vs. Greg Valentine

This is about a month after Mania. Valentine gets a quick rollup for two. We’re talking about Clint Eastwood for no apparent reason. After a quick bit on the floor Hammer takes over in the corner. Davey just shoves him to the mat for two. Armbar for Davey and Valentine is in some trouble. And never mind as Valentine reverses and gets caught by a dropkick to send him down again. Never mind the never mind.

Sharpshooter (obviously not called that) by Smith as this has been completely one sided so far. Valentine is able to make the rope so we get some stretching as Davey uses his arms and legs to spread Valentine’s legs open as wide as he can. Better positioning I guess. Valentine hits the apron to run but gets suplexed back in for two. Valentine finally gets a shot in and we clip to him being in solid control.

Elbow drop gets two and we go to a chinlock now. Davey fights back with some shoulders in the corner and the powerslam for two. Wow that move was kicked out of a lot. We head to the floor where Hammer runs but slides in and catches Davey as he comes back in. So simple yet so effective. Figure Four goes on but there’s the rope so that didn’t last long. Another attempt is sent into the corner but Valentine climbs the ropes and comes off with a forearm to get the surprising pin. That was out of nowhere.

Rating: C-. Eh just ok here. Not a bad match or anything but the ending really surprised me. They did their thing out there and it worked well enough. Valentine winning was very surprising and I’m not sure why this was included. Also a weird ending with Valentine just hitting him in the head and winning it. Not bad though.

Here’s a quick match from Superstars on February 21, 1987.

Dream Team vs. Paul Roma/Frankie Rose

So we have Greg Valentine and Brutus Beefcake vs. a jobber and a future Horsemen. Dino Bravo is with the heels here and still has dark hair. That’s just odd to see. The Rougeaus are ready for their match at Mania. Is this an upgrade over the Lombardi feud for Roma? They talk about the midget match. In other words, they’re still not talking about the match that’s going on. Rose taps to the figure four.

Rating: C. It was short but it worked fine I guess. It was kind of long so it qualifies for a grade. Nothing great here but that’s fine for a show like this. There really isn’t much else to say about something like this, but it’s always strange to see someone like Roma who would one day become a st…..a sta……I can’t say it.

Greg would be in the WWF World Title tournament at Wrestlemania IV.

WWF World Title Tournament First Round: Greg Valentine vs. Ricky Steamboat

Should be good. Steamboat brings the future Richie Steamboat to the ring with him in matching outfits. Feeling out process to start with Steamboat taking him down via an armdrag. Gorilla says Ricky has excellence of execution to coin a phrase. A few shoulders get two on Valentine so he throws Steamboat over the top. That of course doesn’t work on the Dragon so he comes back with a dropkick and a crucifix for two.

Valentine comes back with his usual elbows and forearms to put Steamboat down. He pulls Steamboat off the ropes so Ricky drops onto the back of his head. This allows Gorilla to bust out the term “external occipital protuberance”, to which Jesse replies “THE WHAT?” The voice Ventura says that in is hilarious. Apparently it’s that little bump on the back of your head. Steamboat reverses a suplex into one of his own and hooks an armbar. Jimmy Hart goes a rant of instructions to the Hammer which is such a lost art in wrestling.

Steamboat gets dropped on the back of his head, allowing for another discussion of whatever that thing is called. Gorilla: “External occipital protuberance.” Jesse: “Oh ok. Back of the head for all you normal people back there.” Valentine pounds away with elbows as Gorilla says they’re “right in the kisser, right between the eyes.” His biology knowledge is all over the place. Donald Trump is in the front row. Steamboat comes back with some chops for two but Greg puts him right back down with a gutbuster.

Valentine goes after the leg but the Figure Four is broken up. They chop it out with Steamboat taking over, only to charge into a boot in the corner. Valentine hits a top rope forearm but still can’t put the Figure Four on. Steamboat hits an elbow to the face and a top rope chop for two. He rams Valentine into the corner ten times and shoves the referee away when he tries to break it up. Ricky goes up and hits the cross body but Valentine rolls through to eliminate Steamboat.

Rating: C+. Like I said, decent stuff here although Steamboat would be gone pretty much immediately over wanting to take some time off. Vince said no so Ricky left wrestling for about nine months. Anyway, good stuff here from two guys that know how to work whatever kind of a match you ask them to. Valentine was great in a role like this where he wasn’t going to win anything but he could fill in a spot and do just fine.

We’ll jump ahead a bit to a random tag match from June 27, 1989.

The Rockers vs. Dino Bravo/Greg Valentine

Bravo and Valentine used to be the New Dream Team if you’re unfamiliar and I’m stunned that they’re still around at this point. They’ve been new for about two years at this point so I wonder if they’re old yet. This is at a Superstars taping in some unspecified city. Bravo vs. Jannetty to start us off here. The announcers try to imply that Valentine is a power guy which is a bit odd but kind of true at the same time.

A lot of dropkicks clear out the ring and the heels hug. That must have been a Jimmy Hart thing for some reason. Off to Valentine and Shawn now as it appears to be Shawn that is selling like a madman this time. The Rockers work over Valentine’s right arm which is very different to see. They’re wrestling like heels here but with face personalities if that makes sense.

Heel double teaming (by the actual heels that is) takes over and Marty is playing Marty. Bravo spits on Shawn for some more double teaming to take place. Off to Valentine and the back work continues. In a nice spot Marty nips up and runs into Valentine’s shoulder block to send him right back down again.

Totally classic heat segment with Marty tagging Shawn but the referee doesn’t see it. I love that spot. Bravo misses an elbow and it’s time for the tag off to Shawn. Where have I seen this before? Marty gets a sweet springboard off the bottom rope to launch himself past Bravo to make the tag. I’ve never seen that before.

Shawn cleans some house until we get a double dropkick to Bravo followed by the double flying punch. Why mess with something as simple as a punch to the head I suppose? Why has no one else ever used a move like that? Another near fall for both teams sets up an O’Connor Roll by Jannetty. Shawn comes in to stop Valentine but the referee stops Shawn, allowing Valentine to blast Jannetty and put Bravo on top for the upset win. Wow indeed.

Rating: C-. This got a lot of time at about 12 minutes. It’s not horrible or anything but it’s got nothing on the previous match which was almost exactly the same formula with a slightly different ending. Not a terrible match really but the ending is really weird as why in the world would you have these two go over the Rockers? Bravo and Valentine sound like tag team jobbers, not a team getting a relatively clean pin.

In the words of Saliva, “Hold tight cause the show is not over!” Here’s referee Ronnie Garvin (I wish the show had been over) to tell Hebner what happened and despite not doing anything that the referee saw, the Rockers win by….well apparently by decision. Keep in mind that neither Rocker pinned either other guy. Oh well I guess.

Valentine and Garvin would feud for awhile and have their blowoff match at Royal Rumble 1990.

Greg Valentine vs. Ronnie Garvin

This is a submission match as they both use submissions for a finisher. See? Not that complicated. Now the interesting thing here is that both guys have shin guards (Garvin even has his named: the Hammer Jammer) which blocks the pain of a Figure Four. They slug it out to start with Valentine being rammed into the buckles repeatedly. Greg comes back with chops and they slug it out in the middle of the ring.

It turns into a boxing match until Valentine goes after the leg. That gets him a thumb in the eye and they slug it out some more with both guys going down via a Garvin headbutt. Ronnie tries a sunset flip for reasons of stupidity and Valentine tries a cover of his own. Both guys go down again as this match is already running too long. Garvin rolls him up again to REALLY make it clear that it’s a submission match. See, wrestling fans are stupid and can’t understand the basic explanation of the rules.

Valentine adjusts his own shin guard (the Heartbreaker) and puts Garvin in the Figure Four. Ronnie’s guard blocks the pain, so Garvin makes funny faces at Valentine. Since that doesn’t work, Valentine puts on an over the shoulder backbreaker, much to Jesse’s delight (his old hold). Garvin pounds away in the corner and puts on an Indian Deathlock which has an effect on Greg but Valentine finally makes a rope.

They slug it out for the fifth time, although this one is at least on the floor. Valentine backdrops out of a piledriver on the concrete and we head back inside. Garvin misses a dropkick in the corner and gets caught in the Tree of Woe. That goes nowhere so they collide again and both guys go down. Hart steals Garvin’s shin guard and there’s the Figure Four. After a rope is grabbed, Garvin can’t even stand up.

Valentine goes up and Garvin slams him down from one leg. He takes off Valentine’s shin guard and tries a rollup because Ronnie is STUPID. Valentine gets tied up in the ropes so Garvin beats up Hart for fun. A shin guard shot to the head knocks out Valentine and the Sharpshooter (called a reverse Figure Four) makes Valentine give up.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match here and it was even good at times, but MAN it was long, running nearly seventeen minutes. On top of that, the stupid pin thing went WAY too long into the match. This is probably the best Garvin match I’ve ever seen, but that doesn’t really mean much as he absolutely sucks most of the time.

Greg would really start falling down the ranks soon after this and wind up opening house shows, like this one at MSG on December 29, 1991.

Hercules vs. Greg Valentine

Yep it’s clipped as two matches are cut off here. Actually based on what I’ve seen later that’s not the case as everything is here but the show is edited from an order perspective. This was originally the third match on the card. Heenan says this is going to be a heck of a match. Hercules is on the very brink of leaving and Valentine is a face for no apparent reason. He had a face push around this time and it BOMBED to the shock of no one.

And now let’s talk about the Rumble because that’s about as interesting as it’s going to get as far as this match goes. With Hammer taking over, we hear something I have never heard before: Hogan and Taker get to draw from #21-#30 in the Rumble. What the heck? I know they had the title before but how have I never heard of that before? This match is really rather boring indeed.

Hercules has a little gut there and gets a low blow to take over. What does he think this is, the late 90s? We talk about the Rumble more which has Gorilla predicting Santana or Bulldog. Smith I could understand, but dude, TITO SANTANA? I love the guy but come on now. We argue Hogan vs. Flair a bit as Hercules is dominating.

We hit the floor for a bit with Hammer’s back being rammed into the apron. Hercules is a very ugly man indeed. This is when he has the long hair going for him which isn’t a good look on him. We hit the bearhug to continue this boring mess. Hammer fights back and it turns into a comedy of errors as neither guy can hit a move for like 30 seconds which is funnier than it sounds.

It’s the dreaded double clothesline as both guys are down and in trouble. The fans are in trouble too as this match is in desperate need of ending. And there’s the ending as we go old school with Valentine getting a belly to back suplex and bridging but Herc gets his shoulder up. Does this guy know ANY other finish to a match?

Rating: D. Boring match for the most part that didn’t get the crowd going in the slightest. I’ve seen worse, but this was a rather dull and uninteresting match for the most part. Both guys meant nothing by this point and everyone knew it. I really don’t get why this opened things up and I don’t think anyone else did either.

It would be back to WCW after this where Valentine was the old veteran. Here’s one of his matches from Beach Blast 1992.

Greg Valentine vs. Marcus Bagwell

Seriously, WHO thought this was a good idea? I want them shot. And we’re five minutes in and no one cares at all. This just isn’t interesting in the slightest to the shock of no one with any intelligence. Crowd is DEAD by the way. The wrestling is ok I guess but seriously, it’s Greg Valentine vs. Marcus Bagwell on PPV. This goes on forever it seems although it’s only about seven minutes again. To my complete and utter shock, Valentine gets the clean submission. Yes, they took Greg Valentine and put him over the rookie of the year. I can’t believe this company ever made a dime.

Rating: D-. This is mainly for just making my head hurt. Seriously, who in the world thought this was a good idea??? After a good opener we have two matches that are just wastes of time. At least Simmons won which makes sense. This is just stupid though and I apologize for how badly written it was.

Later in the year Valentine would be a bit better and be on Clash of the Champions XX.

Dick Slater/Greg Valentine vs. Bobby Eaton/Arn Anderson

This is an odd match as everyone is a heel. Slater and Valentine have Larry Zbyszko (with a broken arm) in their corner. Arn and Valentine get things going but everything quickly breaks down with Anderson and Eaton being sent to the floor. Back in and Slater gets in a cheap shot from the apron to take Arn down and things start to break down again. Bobby gets caught in a swinging neckbreaker from Slater followed by a Russian legsweep for two.

Back to Anderson for a spinning arm lock on Dick but it’s quickly back to Valentine. Anderson and Eaton take him into the corner but Greg fights out with some chops. Valentine takes him into the corner with Arn being put down on the mat for a stomping. Eaton comes around the ring and jacks Slater’s jaw before breaking up Valentine’s Figure Four. Anderson scores with the spinebuster for two as everything breaks down again. Zbyszko accidentally hits Valentine with the cast, allowing Eaton to drop a middle rope Alabama Jam for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t bad but it’s some incredibly strange booking. The fans didn’t have anyone to cheer for in the match and the whole thing was kind of bizarre as a result. It’s not a terrible match but it’s a good explanation for why heels and faces need to be balanced out.

Valentine would be brought back as another veteran in 1996 for a few appearances, including this one on Nitro, September 23, 1996.

Greg Valentine vs. Randy Savage

Eric says there’s a new NWO member tonight. I can’t think of who that would be as the next member wasn’t until October and it was nothing of note unless I’m totally overlooking someone. Valentine jumps him and that doesn’t work all that well. They go to the floor with Valentine having his token control period. We hear that Super Calo has injured his elbow in a dark match so he’s out for awhile. Savage clocks Valentine with a chair twice and that’s a DQ.

Valentine would be brought back in for a cameo match against the new legend killer, Rob Conway, on Sunday Night Heat from October 21, 2005.

Greg Valentine vs. Rob Conway

Thankfully Valentine has the big robe here. Unfortunately he’s not in great shape and Conway starts wrestling in sunglasses. Greg shrugs off some right hands and chops away in the corner before throwing Conway outside. The brawl heads outside and Valentine is quickly posted before Conway pounds on Greg. Hammer avoids a dropkick though and drops some elbows but the Figure Four is easily countered. Rob hammers away but Eugene comes in to save his friend, drawing a DQ.

Rating: D+. Considering he was 57 and had been mostly retired for years, this wasn’t half bad. Conway’s gimmick was mostly limited to Heat until a bunch of legends got together and beat him up so it’s hard to complain about something like this. No it wasn’t a great match, but all things considered I’ve seen far worse.

Valentine thankfully uses common sense and shoves Eugene down for costing him a win.

Overall Greg Valentine was a great hand and that’s a great thing to be. He was very tough and could have good matches with almost anyone. His series with Santana in 1984/1985 is arguably the best feud ever over the Intercontinental Title and still holds up very well to this day. The Piper collar match is excellent as well. Check Valentine out if you want to see a skilled old school worker.

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Today is a guy that was almost a big deal in WCW but they screwed up. Again. It’s Perry Saturn.

Eliminators vs. Pitbulls

I haven’t seen a lot of the Pitbulls but they were very popular and pretty successful in ECW so this could be worth seeing. Francine in leather isn’t a bad thing to see as she manages them so this should be good. Oh and Jason manages the Eliminators. It’s weird to see Saturn with hair. The Pitbulls are known as #1 and #2. #1 has hair. Got it. He and Saturn start us off and the Pitbull (Gary Wolfe. #2 is Anthony Durante) shrugs off most of Saturn’s offense.

He tosses Perry into the corner and slams him. The idea of the Pitbulls were they were more or less Rhyno in leather and more athletic. Blind tag brings in Durante who gets a top rope elbow for two. Off to the other Eliminator John Kronus to face #2. Big power match here as Kronus hits a release Dragon suplex to take over. The Eliminators, the more athletic team, speeds things up a lot to take over.

An assisted moonsault takes out Durante but an elbow clearly misses. Thankfully Joey covers and says he moved, otherwise it would have looked awful. The fans are behind the Pitbulls as Kronus picks #2 up off a belly to back suplex. Kronus gets caught between the Pitbulls but Durante misses a splash in the corner and crashes to the floor. He’s bleeding from the elbow now.

Kronus is a lot fatter than I remember him being. Saturn comes in with that sweet high elbow drop of his (OH YEAH from Joey) but it only gets two. Saturn hits a corner rana which also gets two somehow. The Eliminators are a pretty new team so this is kind of their showcase match. Saturn tries to set up something on the ropes but a superbomb by Durante gets no cover.

Everything breaks down and Jason hits a legdrop on #2 to keep him down. Double tag brings in Kronus and Wolfe who cleans house. Double clothesline takes the Eliminators down and it’s a big brawl. Wolfe totally misses a spinwheel kick in the corner but Kronus sells it anyway. Double superbomb out of the corner ends Kronus and we’re done.

Rating: B-. This was a rather fun match. The botches make it a bit amateurish looking but at the same time this wasn’t exactly Gagne vs. Thesz out there. They would feud forever with the Pitbulls eventually losing their edge. Pretty good match though and the fans were into it the whole way (duh) so I can’t complain much here at all.

And another from House Party 1996.

Rey Mysterio Jr./911 vs. The Eliminators

Rey vs. Kronus to start with Mysterio flying all over the place and taking out both Eliminators with an armdrag/rana combo. Rey gets sent to the floor and here’s Taz to choke 911 again. The fans chant for Sabu and Taz just lets go. Rey and Kronus have some weapons brought in and everything breaks down. Well, as much as everything can break down in an ECW match.

Total Elimination takes 911 down again and Taz chokes him some more. Saturn (who has long black hair here) powerbombs Rey down but Mysterio comes back with a double DDT. 911 gets back in and Rey gets on his shoulders. It’s time to play some chicken. Rey fakes Saturn out though and jumps into the air, hitting a rana on Kronus off Saturn’s shoulders for the pin. That looked awesome.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t much but the Eliminators were nothing more than Total Elimination and matching black hair at this point. Mysterio would be in WCW in about 5 months while 911 would be 911 for the rest of his time in ECW. Nothing to see here but the ending was pretty sweet looking.

One more from Cyberslam 1997 as the team is moving up the charts.

Tag Titles: Eliminators vs. Rob Van Dam/Sabu

Eliminators are Perry Saturn and John Kronus who you shouldn’t know. This is a ladders/tables match which means they’re legal. You win by pinfall or submission and the Eliminators have the titles. Saturn talks about how awesome ECW is and how they’re going to Raw on Monday, which is true. This is on a Saturday (I think) and the ECW Invasion (not the Alliance one but a one night one) happened on Raw while the WWF guys were on a European tour.

This is a rematch apparently but Joey doesn’t tell us when the original match was from. The losers have to shake the hands of the winners. Van Dam and Sabu are heels here. Apparently the challengers have almost won the titles from this team before so this is an established feud. Saturn vs. Van Dam to start us off here. They hit the mat to start as there are tags here to make it seem like this is a regular match with rules for awhile.

They slug it out for a bit and a dropkick gets two for Van Dam. Sabu comes in but there was no tag so it doesn’t count. Off to Kronus who was good but not great. He gets Sabu now so this should be a bit faster paced. Saturn gets a modified Rock Bottom for two and Sabu works on the knee a bit. Half crab goes on so Saturn kicks Sabu in the head. I love using that as a counter. It’s so basic. Got a problem? KICK HIM IN THE FACE!

Sabu and Van Dam do some stuff that the Guns would later do in TNA but would do it a bit better and faster. A forearm by Kronus takes him and RVD out to the floor. Saturn and Van Dam fight for a ladder so the partners kick both of them, sending everyone to the floor. Kronus dives on RVD while Sabu and Saturn go into the crowd. Now the other pairing goes to the outside also as it’s a total brawl.

Saturn and Sabu are up by the….well by everything really as there was a lot put in one small area at these shows. Sabu gets a chair shot to Saturn back in the ring and the Triple Jump Moonsault hits Saturn as well. It’s ladder time and Van Dam hits a moonsault off the second rung of it, as in the second from the ground as the ladder was laid at an angle against the rope.

To the shock of no one, everything breaks down even though we’re still sticking with the corners. Nice to see them pretend that this has rules for awhile. Kronus hits a handspring elbow into the corner into Van Dam into the ladder. A ladder shot misses the challengers so they botch another attempt at it as the Eliminators keep control. This is threatening to get very sloppy rather quickly.

Kronus THROWS the ladder at Van Dam and it smacks him in the head. FREAKING OW MAN! Another ladder comes in so Van Dam puts Saturn in the surfboard. You know, because that’s what you want to see in a tables and ladders match right? Submission wrestling! Arabian Facebuster with the ladder gets two on Saturn. Saturn avoids a double clothesline (read as he runs through it) and hits one of his own but no tag.

Slingshot leg drop gets no count for Sabu and it’s off to Kronus. Double kick to Sabu as the tagging has finally died off. Total mess now with nothing at all as far as coherence. Sabu gets a big dive off the top rope into the front row to half kill Saturn. Van Dam adds a moonsault press off the guardrail to Kronus as Sabu and Saturn are back in the ring now.

Saturn hits a splash from the top of the ladder to Van Dam for no cover as Sabu is fighting again. Kronus and Sabu go to the floor as ladders are set up in the ring. With Saturn put on the ladder which is draped on the middle rope, RVD tries the split legged moonsault and botches it worse than Morrison ever dreamed of. Sabu hits the leg lariat to both guys including one that would be called Poetry in Motion when the Hardys used it later. The challengers get rammed together and a pair of Total Eliminations (Saturn with a leg sweep, Kronus with a spin kick to the face) to RVD ends this. Total mess in the second half.

Rating: D+. This got twenty minutes. Let that sink in a bit. They gave Sabu and Kronus twenty minutes. This was decent but the botches and the constant changing of the tag requirements (every company does this. Either have them or don’t) and the length it really got dragged down. The Eliminators had FAR better matches but this wasn’t one of them. Too long and way too sloppy.

We’ll wrap up ECW with the opening match from it’s first PPV, Barely Legal.

Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Eliminators

The Eliminators are Perry Saturn and John Kronus. Saturn had wanted to call the team the Harvesters of Sorrow but didn’t think enough people would get the reference. I doubt most of you will either, so the reference is that Saturn and Kronus were the gods of the harvest in Roman and Greek mythology. Yeah that was never going to work.

I’m having a hard time getting into them as they’re wearing pink tights but there we go. Sign Guy stays in the ring and takes a botched Total Elimination, which is a leg sweep/spinning heel kick combination. Saturn did the leg sweep but he didn’t sweep that well. Anyway, after a harmless manager is beaten up to cheers, I think I’m starting to get what I’m dealing with here.

The heels jump them from behind as Bubba drops both an F bomb and a powerbomb. Styles does the commentary alone on PPVs, which definitely takes some getting used to. This match is doing kind of a back and forth thing but they’re going way too fast with it. One team will be in control for 30 seconds and then the other will take over. There’s also little to no tagging.

I don’t think I’ve seen anyone on the apron yet, although we’re only about two minutes into the match. The Eliminator are reminding me a lot of the Motor City Machine Guns and the Rockers. They use a pair of Trouble in Paradises to put Bubba down. I wonder if Kofi is from Dudleyville. He’s been from everywhere else so why not? They follow that up by being secure enough in their masculinity for a long hug while wearing pink tights.

Well ok then. Kronus throws a pretty sweet handspring backflip moonsault over the ropes to take out everyone. Another thing that’s very different here is the lack of space between the ring and the railings. It’s difficult to maneuver out there if nothing else. Seconds later, Kronus does another of the same move but this time into the corner instead of over the ropes, making it a much less impressive spot and taking away from the first one.

I don’t care wht company you’re in, that’s a stupid thing to do. I’ve always loved the way Saturn dropped elbows. They’re just sweet looking. Bubba is said to be 370-375, which would make D-Von about 250. Yeah I’m not buying that at all. This is turning into an X Division match as it’s all high spots with no apparent rhyme or reason to them at all from the Eliminators.

The champions are getting completely squashed here and they get pinned after Total Elimination. That’s it? Dude that was a 6 minute destruction. Well if nothing else it’s a hot way to open the show so I’ll give them that. Gertner continues showing off that Ivy League education (legit) of his by saying that by his score, the Dudleys won.

A Total Elimination later and the new champions are heading to the back. He would start wearing a neck brace because of that, and would break Orton’s record of milking an injury by still wearing it into 2005. That’s a very severe injury and those fans should be embarrassed for cheering it. Yeah that’s not going to work at all so I’m moving on.

Rating: C-. So the first ECW PPV match ever is a glorified squash. Well that’s ok I guess, but the lack of anything remotely resembling a flow here hurt it for me. It was like they were going for a highlight reel or something. Also, I can get having the Eliminators dominate, but it makes very little sense to have them be in trouble for the first 30 seconds and then have the Dudleys have maybe another 30 seconds later on of offense.

It came off to me like high spots for the sake of high spots, which I guess if you’re trying to keep new viewers around is a good idea, but the lack of a flow was just killing this match for me as it made it feel like a bunch of rookies wrestling. At least the Eliminators got the titles which they earned a long time ago.

Soon after this, Saturn would head to WCW where he would become part of the Flock. Here’s his debut singles match from Nitro on November 3, 1997.

TV Title: Perry Saturn vs. Disco Inferno

Disco is defending and this is Saturn’s in ring debut. The champion jumps him to start and pounds away, only to be suplexed down to give Saturn control. A hammerlock belly to belly suplex takes Disco down again and it’s off to an armbar. Saturn legdrops the arm and puts on something like a cross armbreaker. The Eliminators leg sweep gets two and it’s off to more arm holds. Saturn keeps changing them up every few seconds to keep things moving. We get a quick ECW chant as Saturn hits a quick kick to take Disco down.

A clothesline sets up a suplex but Saturn stares at Raven instead of covering. Off to a Fujiwara armbar before standing Disco up and driving a knee into the arm to put him on the mat again. Back to the armbar but Disco comes back with a quick clothesline for two. Saturn shrugs it off and superkicks him in the back of the head to get control again. A perfect release German suplex puts Disco down again as Larry compares Saturn and Raven to Arn and Flair. Saturn hooks a tiger suplex and the Rings of Saturn gives us a new champion.

Rating: C. This was a total squash and a great way to put Saturn over as a killer. Disco wasn’t a long term champion and was just a goofy character who lucked his way into the title, so this was basically an extended version of the Honky Tonk Man/Ultimate Warrior formula. Saturn looked great here.

One of the Flock’s first feuds was with Chris Benoit, who Saturn faced at Starrcade 1997.

Raven vs. Chris Benoit

Raven, a loner who has a collection of misfits called his Flock, comes out for his match against Chris Benoit but says he won’t wrestle tonight. Instead his top man Saturn does, which has been a recurring theme for Raven. To be fair to him and WCW though, Raven had a legit appendicitis and wasn’t medically cleared to wrestle. On the other hand, WCW knew this in advance and didn’t bother to announce that Raven couldn’t wrestle, thereby ripping off the fans with something they easily could have fixed. Anyway Benoit is a very tough wrestler with an excellent amateur skill set. Saturn can do a bit of everything.

Before the match, Benoit talks about seeing things for what they are in an attempt to speak like Raven. This doesn’t go well at all, but once they had their match it would be a classic. Apparently this is under Raven’s Rules, meaning anything goes. Saturn tries to jump Benoit but gets chopped down for his efforts. More chops hit Saturn’s chest in the corner and a jawbreaker gets Benoit out of a sleeper attempt. Benoit stomps away in the corner and invites Raven to get in the ring. Saturn catches Benoit’s arm during a chop attempt and hits a quick suplex to take over.

Chris comes right back with a dropkick to the knee but has to knock Raven to the floor instead of go after Saturn. Benoit whips Saturn into the barricade but Raven’s men Kidman and Sick Boy interfere to give Saturn control. Back in and Saturn puts on a chinlock before hitting a moonsault, only to injure himself in the process. A few knees to Benoit’s ribs put him down again but Benoit’s foot is in the ropes. Off to reverse chinlock by Saturn to stay on the ribs but he lets it go for no apparent reason.

A kind of brainbuster gets two on Benoit and it’s off to another chinlock. Benoit fights up and hooks a sunset flip for two before clotheslining Saturn down. Both guys are dazed now but it’s Benoit taking over as they get back up. Saturn grabs a quick falcon arrow (sitout slam) to put Benoit down, only to have Chris knock him off the top rope and to the floor.

Benoit takes it to the floor and puts on his Crippler Crossface (arm trap hold with a facelock) but the Flock makes the save. Benoit fights them and throws Saturn back in for the flying headbutt, only to have the Flock come in again. They’re quickly dispatched, but Raven himself comes in with the DDT to lay Benoit out. Saturn puts on his Rings of Saturn double armbar but Benoit is out cold, ending the match.

Rating: C+. This was getting good at the end but the decision here makes little sense. Benoit had been running through the Flock, so why have him lose to Saturn right before he’s supposed to face Raven? Benoit can’t beat the second in command so we’re supposed to want to see him fight the boss? That doesn’t make sense.

Saturn was always a sure hand in the ring and got to face US Champion Goldberg at Slamboree 1998.

US Title: Saturn vs. Goldberg

Just one on one instead of the advertised gauntlet match. Goldberg easily shoves him into the corner to start before clotheslining the challenger down with ease. A gorilla press into a powerslam puts Saturn down and a shoulder knocks him to the floor. Back in and Saturn fires off kicks in the corner but charges into a spin kick from the champion. Goldberg LAUNCHES him into the corner before they head outside.

Saturn ducks a clothesline and Goldie’s arm goes into the post. Back in and a top rope spinwheel kick gets one and we hit the chinlock. Goldberg fights up but walks into a swinging neckbreaker to set up the chinlock again. Back up and Saturn grabs a chair before superkicking Goldberg into the corner. Using the chair as a springboard, Saturn kicks Goldberg in the back but a second attempt is countered with the spear. The Jackhammer retains the title.

Rating: D+. This didn’t do much for me. The arm went nowhere and it never felt like Saturn had a chance. Goldberg is in an awkward place as he’s too big to squash people and midcarders are no real challenge anymore but he’s not quite ready to face main event guys. That’s a very tricky jump to make but it would come soon enough.

Saturn would get into a feud with Raven and the rest of the Flock, including Kanyon. This led to a triple threat at Road Wild 1998.

Raven vs. Kanyon vs. Saturn

Under Raven’s Rules, meaning hardcore. Raven’s music is so awesome that it doesn’t belong on a show like this. The question coming into this is whether Kanyon is under Raven’s control or not. Raven stands on the apron and tells Kanyon to get Saturn, only to have Perry take over with some kicks. Raven comes in with a chair to Saturn’s back and sends Kanyon into the post before Saturn falls to the floor as well.

Saturn and Kanyon get in a fight on the floor as Heenan tries to figure out the story of the match as only he can. Raven sits in the corner while the other two fight in the ring but they finally realize what’s going on. Kanyon dropkicks Raven low and Saturn belly to back suplexes Raven into a Kanyon neckbreaker. Kanyon throws Raven into Saturn and hits rolling Russian legsweeps on Raven for two in a nice move. Saturn breaks up the cover with a guillotine legdrop on Raven for two and the Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza gets the same on Raven.

Kanyon gets in another fight with Saturn so Raven blasts them both in the head with a chair, only to be sent to the floor. Saturn follows him out so Kanyon dives on both guys, giving us our first breather in awhile. They get off the platform where Kanyon whips Raven HARD into the barricade. Raven comes back with a suplex to put Kanyon down on the ramp (designed like a road) but Saturn clotheslines Raven down for two. Kanyon piledrives Saturn on the stage for two more before Raven dropkicks Kanyon down the stage.

They fight back to the ring where both guys drop down to avoid a charging Raven before Saturn catches him with a t-bone suplex. Saturn puts Raven in a sleeper but Kanyon puts one on Saturn as well before a jawbreaker puts everyone down. We get a Tower of Doom with Kanyon superplexing Saturn and Raven putting Kanyon in an electric chair.

Raven tries a double DDT on both guys but only puts Saturn down. Kanyon and Raven head outside with Raven getting suplexed onto the floor. Kanyon misses a splash off the scaffolding but Saturn catches Raven in the Death Valley Driver. Lodi makes the save but Horace comes in to lay out Saturn. Horace picks up the stop sign but gets blinded by Lodi’s powder. He caves Raven’s head in and a Death Valley Driver to Raven gives Saturn the pin.

Rating: C. This was a mess but it was supposed to be. I’m still not sure where they go with this story now but it would seem to still be Raven vs. Saturn. Kanyon was just there to keep spots going and he did a good job, but that doesn’t mean he helped the story or really changed anything.

The Flock feud would come to a head at Fall Brawl 1998. If Raven wins, Saturn has to join again. If Saturn wins, the Flock is done.

Raven vs. Saturn

Kanyon is handcuffed to the ring to make it as far as possible. It’s also Raven’s Rules. Raven chills in the corner to start before getting in a cheap shot and sending Saturn across the ring and down to the mat. A running knee lift has Saturn in even more trouble but he comes back with some high kicks in the corner and a spinning springboard forearm for two. Saturn gets the same off a top rope splash and another kick sends Raven into the barricade. Lodi goes over to help but both guys are taken out by a nice suicide dive to wake up the crowd a little bit.

Lodi interferes a bit to give Raven control and get a two count off a pair of middle rope elbows. Saturn comes back with something resembling a powerbomb for two, only to be taken down by a quick clothesline. There’s a sleeper to Saturn but he comes out of it with a jawbreaker to put both guys down. Raven is up first with some rolling Russian legsweeps for two but Saturn hits him low to get a break.

We get our first chair brought in for the drop toehold from Raven and the Flock brings in a table. Kidman is on the other side of the ring and comes in to turn on Raven with a dropkick before sprinting to the back with the Flock chasing after him. Saturn’s Death Valley Driver gets a VERY close two before he snaps off three straight suplexes. Raven is out on his feet so Saturn slams him to the mat and gets two off a spinning springboard legdrop.

Something like a Juvy Driver gets two more for Saturn so he puts on the Rings of Saturn but Lodi makes the save. The referee gets bumped and Kanyon gets the key to the handcuffs out of his pocket to set himself free. He gives Saturn a Flatliner but Raven can only get two. Saturn drives Lodi through the table with the Death Valley Driver but walks into the EvenFlow. He kicks out again and the fans are WAY into this now. Another Death Valley Driver is enough to split up the Flock.

Rating: B. This was the only way to end the feud and it worked very well. As is almost always the case, the backstory makes the match much better as you have Saturn rising above everyone else and surviving everything Raven throws at him. Kidman turning makes sense as he had already been changing his look in the previous months, which is always a good addition to a feud.

Then Saturn was pushed WAY down the card, eventually getting a feud with Ernest Miller for no apparent reason. Here’s the blowoff at Starrcade 1998.

Perry Saturn vs. The Cat

This one isn’t so much strange as they’ve been feuding for awhile now, but who in the world wants to see this match? Miller of course has to give his usual speech and Saturn of course jumps him. Cat runs to the floor for some stalling before teasint walking to the back. He tries to slide back in to go after Saturn but falls at Saturn’s feet instead. Now the beating is on but Miller bails to the floor to stall again. Back in and Cat sweeps the leg and chokes a bit as the fans are dying in a hurry.

Saturn can’t hook the Rings so he wrestles Miller down to the mat. That also goes nowhere so Miller kicks him in the face and walks around a lot. Saturn comes back with a pair of suplexes for two and a swinging neckbreaker for the same. A top rope ax handle misses and Saturn gets kicked in the face for no cover. Back up and Miller kicks him again but asks Sonny Onoo to come in. Sonny kicks Miller by mistake, allowing Saturn to hit the Death Valley Driver for the pin.

Rating: D-. I’ve watched a lot of wrestling in my day but I will never understand some things about WCW. For one, why in the world did Sonny Onoo keep a job for so long? Miller could at least talk and got decent later on, but why is he getting this spot on this show? At least Saturn won, finally.

Raven and Saturn would reunite by mid 1999 and they would receive a Tag Team Title shot at Slamboree 1999.

Tag Titles: Raven/Perry Saturn vs. Billy Kidman/Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko

Raven and Saturn are back together again for some reason. The Horsemen (Benoit and Malenko) are heels. Raven and Saturn are rather popular. I really like WCW’s style in these matches as three are three men in the ring at once. Oh and Rey/Kidman are the champions. Kidman, Dean and Saturn start us off. Saturn is in a skirt due to a long story with Jericho.

Malenko gets beaten down and Saturn beats up Benoit who I guess got a tag. Saturn throws Kidman over the top in a release belly to belly. That landing looked SICK. You can’t tag someone from another team in this match. BIG Horsemen Suck chant. Raven covers Benoit and avoids a slingshot leg from Rey. Benoit and Kidman drape Raven over the top and then Benoit smashes Billy.

This is a very fast paced match so it’s hard to keep up with everything. A top rope splash by Kidman misses Benoit as Raven is on the floor. He manages to break up the Crossface though and double teams Benoit with Saturn. Frog splash to Benoit gets two. In a move that literally made my jaw drop, Dean launches Rey over his shoulder and Rey LANDS ON THE BUCKLE ON HIS FEET and hits a moonsault press for two. THAT WAS AWESOME.

Saturn dives on everyone not named Benoit and Raven. Benoit hits the Swan Dive to Raven for two but Saturn saves. The Horsemen double team Rey and now they beat up Saturn. The tagging aspect has been dropped for the time being. And of course just as I say that it’s officially Benoit vs. Kidman vs. Saturn. Kidman fights back and the fans cheer. BIG superkick from Saturn takes him down though. The crowd is really into this.

Benoit hits a springboard forearm over the top (think Jericho and his dropkick to the apron) to take out Saturn. The two of them are in the ring and a northern lights suplex gets two for the Canadian. Here are the Rolling Germans but Kidman makes the save. Dean gets a tag and gets rolled up by Saturn in a reversal to the Cloverleaf. Saturn is knocked to the floor and things slow down a bit.

Dean is like screw slow and KILLS Kidman with a powerbomb for two. Dragon Suplex to Kidman gets a delayed two. Dean tries to throw Billy into the air but Kidman hits a dropkick in mid air to break it up. Russian legsweep takes Benoit down and there’s the tag to Raven for a big reaction. He hits what we would call Three Amigos to Benoit for two. Back to Saturn who is a bit spent.

Rey vs. Saturn vs. Benoit at this point. Saturn saves a pin on Rey as Malenko and Kidman come in. Saturn and Benoit are down and Kidman isn’t sure who to jump on. Dean tries another powerbomb on him but Kidman rolls into a sunset flip. Everything breaks down and the champs hit a SWEET alley-oop rana to Benoit in the corner. They try it on Saturn but he hits a top rope sitout powerbomb to Rey for two. Arn comes in and hits a spinebuster on Saturn to HUGE heel heat. Someone in a Sting mask breaks up the Shooting Star by crotching Kidman. An elevated Even Flow gives Raven/Saturn the belts. Kanyon was in the mask.

Rating: B. This is better than probably any other match I’ve seen in all of WCW so far in 1999. They were all over the place in here and beating the living tar out of each other, which is the best thing you can ask for. Also the popular team wins off a big ending with the DDT. Very good match, but now things are going to fall through the floor, which is WCW in a nutshell.

That team wouldn’t last either so it was back to a face turn and a Tag Team Title reign with Chris Benoit. They would defend against the Jersey Triad at Great American Bash 1999.

Tag Titles: Chris Benoit/Perry Saturn vs. Diamond Dallas Page/Kanyon

Perry and Chris come out to Malenko’s music for some reason. We’re told Sting is fine from the BIG DOG ATTACK. Benoit vs. Kanyon gets us going. Chris clears the ring and the partners both get tags. The champs clear the ring again but go after Bigelow to let Team Jersey take over. The champs hit almost stereo belly to belly overheads to get control back and it’s officially Page vs. Benoit now.

Page beats him down and it’s off to Kanyon who goes to the middle rope, puts his leg on Benoit’s head, and drives him down with a Fameasser for two. Back to Page and Benoit gets a single suplex for two. Page tries the Helicopter Bomb but it’s more like a regular one instead. A Kanyon moonsault misses and here’s Saturn. He cleans house and hits a frog splash on Kanyon for two.

Saturn gets beaten down again by some good old fashioned double teaming. He tries a sunset flip but Kanyon makes a blind tag and grabs the head of Saturn, exposing Saturn’s back. Page comes in and decks him to take over. Kanyon was freaking smart in the ring man. The beating continues for awhile but Page misses a dive and crotches himself on the top buckle.

That allows for a double tag to bring in Kanyon and Benoit with the crazy Canadian going cracy on the challengers. Kanyon REALLY loudly calls for a suplex where he lands behind Benoit and he does just that. He gets rammed into Bigelow though and Rolling Germans get two. A dragon suplex gets a VERY close two. Benoit hits the Swan Dive as Saturn kind of falls off the top into a Diamond Cutter. Cue Malenko who pulls Saturn out for some reason. Crossface to Kanyon but here’s Bigelow to help with an elevated Cutter and the Triad wins the titles.

Rating: C+. Not bad here but the rematch where the Triad could trade in and out next month at the Bash at the Beach was a much better match. Still though, this was so far and away a better match than anything else all night that I’d rather watch it a dozen times than anything else here. Not bad, but they’ve had better matches.

Saturn would get another TV Title shot at Fall Brawl 1999.

TV Title: Perry Saturn vs. Rick Steiner

Steiner is now a heel and all “rough” or something like that. Oh and the Steiners are all cool again. Steiner is champion and Saturn is in the Revolution. Take a guess as to what happens here. Steiner takes him down to the match rather quickly as we’re told Buff Bagwell isn’t here yet but there’s a replacement for him who will be named later.

Saturn gets his spinning legdrop for no cover. Suicide dive takes out Steiner and Saturn hammers away. No real reason for this match other than Saturn has been deemed a challenger. We touch on the death of referee Mark Curtis (Brian Hilldebrand) who passed away earlier in the week. Everyone is wearing a black armband because of it which is always cool to see.

Out to the floor and Saturn is sent into the steps. Bad DDT on the floor puts Saturn down even more. Other than a brief flourish at the beginning it’s been all Steiner because that’s what he does. I mean, it’s not like he’s going to sell for anyone. That would imply that someone young could be better than him and the people might somehow care about him even less. Perish the thought!

German sends Saturn flying. Off to a chinlock so that Rick can have a little breather. Off to a half crab as this is rather boring indeed. Saturn slaps the mat but we’re not going to call that a tap out because that’s not the planned ending. Back to the half crab which isn’t even cranked on. Basically he’s just got his leg up in the air a bit. Give me a break. Belly to belly gets no cover for Rick.

There’s another belly to belly and Saturn is down. Rick yells at a fan and Saturn is able to get a middle rope dropkick to take Steiner down. T-bone suplex gets two for the former Perry. And never mind that as Steiner takes him down with a powerslam for two. Death Valley Driver, Saturn’s finisher, gets two also. Saturn calls for the Rings of Saturn but instead goes for another DVD which is shrugged off. Steiner Bulldog is broken up but the second attempt hits so Steiner can retain. Give me another break.

Rating: D-. No one, I mean NO ONE, cared about Rick Steiner at this point. Therefore the obvious solution is to give him the TV Title for four months. He would lose it to Benoit the next night, so why in the freaking world wouldn’t you just do the title change here???? Oh that’s right: Benoit has to job to Sid because Heaven knows Sid is the guy that needs the US Title more than Benoit right? I freaking give up.

Here’s Saturn’s last match in WCW, from Souled Out 2000.

Billy Kidman vs. Perry Saturn

This is a Bunkhouse match, meaning hardcore. At least Kidman’s music is kind of catchy. Saturn is freaking stacked as far as muscles go. Perry stomps away to start and gets a clothesline to take Kidman down. Big press slam as this is a regular match so far. Kidman fights back with speed and punches in the corner. Clothesline gets two. He tries a running headlock takeover out of the corner but gets crotched on the top rope and clotheslined to the floor. That gets two on the floor.

Back in the ring and Saturn does something to Kidman’s neck but gets rolled up for two. This is painfully boring. Springboard legdrop gets two for Saturn. Kidman’s shirt is ripped off and we FINALLY get to a weapon, in this case, a table which is laid face down on the floor instead of being set up in the ring. Ah there it is. Heenan: “Tony we could make a fortune in a table company.” Mike: “Heenan if you’re involved the only thing it’ll be is under the table.” That was good. Where is this funny Mike every other show?

The table is on the floor but Saturn can’t suplex onto him. Saturn gets an elbow from the top rope for no cover so Kidman grabs a sunset flip for two. Diving powerbomb gets two as does a Sky High from Kidman. Saturn throws Kidman over the top and through the table which gets two. It looked great if nothing else. Saturn tries a powerbomb from the top but gets backdropped instead. Out of NOWHERE Saturn tries another powerbomb (does he get paid per powerbomb?) but gets dropped in a facejam for the pin. This was Saturn’s last match in WCW.

Rating: D+. I’m starting to feel bad for giving these matches such low grades. They’re not really that terrible but they’re just so painfully uninteresting. I’m flying through this show and I’ve yet to see anything worth watching in it. Every one of the six matches so far range from just kind of there to completely uninteresting. There were some cool spots here and I like Saturn so I guess you could call this the match of the night so far….somehow.

Saturn would debut in late January for the WWF as part of the Radicalz, along with Benoit, Dean Malenko and Eddie Guerrero. They would team for a good while with Eddie winning the European Title. Saturn and Malenko both challenged him at Judgment Day 2000.

European Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Perry Saturn vs. Dean Malenko

Dig that pop for Eddie. Dean is Light Heavyweight Champion here which he would be like forever. Dean and Saturn beat him down with relative ease, throwing in a modified Decapitator ala Demolition. I love hearing them drop F Bombs in the corner. Leg lariat by Malenko takes Saturn down as Eddie is down in the corner.

We get some nice three man spots including Eddie getting a mule kick as a low blow to both guys. Eddie fights both guys back and gets a nice rana on Saturn to take him down. Dean leans into a headscissors and gets a side slam for two. Tornado DDT by Eddie to take Saturn down for two as Malenko saves.

Butterfly suplex by Malenko is countered into a sunset flip by Eddie which is countered into a Texas Cloverleaf which is countered by Saturn. Saturn double crosses Malenko as they set for a Doomsday Device. He throws Eddie at the top rope to crotch Malenko. Eddie gets up but walks into the middle rope gutbuster from Eddie. Saturn busts out a Frog Splash on Eddie for two as Malenko saves.

Perry tries a Texas Cloverleaf on Dean which Eddie breaks up. Brainbuster to Saturn as this has gotten quite good. Saturn charges at Eddie who ducks and it’s down to Eddie and Dean for the moment. Dean gets a suplex and a top rope splash for two. It’s a triple/double/whatever else JR calls it suplex as Dean suplexes Eddie and Saturn suplexes Dean. Chyna drills Saturn with the flowers and trips Dean to send him head first into them. Eddie rolls up Dean for the pin to retain.

Rating: B. Another fast paced and fun match. This is what happens when you put guys out there that know each other and have no issues with letting the other guys look good. There were some very creative spots in there and all three guys worked very hard. Fun times indeed and the second good match in a row.

The team would all be together at Survivor Series 2000.

Radicalz vs. Team Chyna

Chris Benoit, Perry Saturn, Dean Malenko, Eddie Guerrero
Road Dogg, Billy Gunn, K-Kwik, Chyna

Kwik is R-Truth, which is what I’ll be referring to him as more than likely. Eddie is IC Champion and Dean is Light Heavyweight Champion. I would call this Team DX but they’re not together anymore. Saturn and Gunn get things going here but it’s quickly off to Chyna for a double suplex. Chyna pounds away in the corner as we’re waiting on the Eddie vs. Chyna showdown. A powerslam gets two on Saturn and there’s the handspring elbow but Saturn catches her. A DDT puts Saturn down but everything breaks down. Eddie hits Chyna in the back with a title belt and Saturn gets the easy pin.

Roadie comes in next but gets suplexed down almost immediately. Off to Eddie who pounds away and dropkicks Dogg’s knee out. Dean comes in but it’s quickly back to Eddie for a slingshot hilo onto the knee. Eddie goes up but runs his mouth too long, allowing Roadie to superplex him down. There’s the hot tag to Billy who immediately charges into a triple team in the Radicals’ corner. Smart guy that Billy. Billy fights them off and takes over on Eddie with a gorilla press and the One and Only (sleeper drop) for the pin and elimination.

Off to Dean vs. Truth with the latter flipping out of a hip toss. Truth tries a Downward Spiral but Dean falls backwards instead. Eh they screwed that one up. Off to Benoit who wants nothing to do with the hipping and the hopping so he Germans the tar out of Truth for the pin to make it 3-2. Off to Saturn vs. Road Dogg with the former taking over. Dean suplexes Dogg down for two and it’s back to Saturn for a northern lights suplex to get us down to Saturn/Benoit/Malenko vs. Billy.

Billy gets to fight Dean first with the Radicals taking over quickly. Benoit low bridges Billy but Saturn accidentally superkicks Benoit on the floor. Back in the ring Dean ducks his head and the Fameasser makes it 2-1. A Jackhammer gets two on Saturn as Benoit makes the save. Benoit hits the Swan Dive for two and the Wolverine is shocked on the kickout. Benoit is sent to the apron and Gunn tries to suplex him back in, only for the Warrior/Rude ending with Saturn tripping Billy and holding his foot for the pin.

Rating: C. This was fine but it never got to be anything interesting. Truth never worked in the WWF in his original run and the whole tandem rapping thing with Road Dogg didn’t work at all. Gunn was into that awkward singles stage of his which never worked the way the company wanted it to. Not bad here but it was nothing better than fine.

Then Saturn would get hit in the head a lot and fall in love with a mop. It’s funny you see. Raven would destroy said mop, setting up this match at Unforgiven 2001.

Raven vs. Perry Saturn

Saturn goes off on him to start as Paul gets in the line of the night: “They’re fighting over the memory of a mop.” Raven goes to the floor and hits the Russian leg sweep into the barrier and a drop toehold into the steps. JR talks about the Flock and Heyman talks about how JR never watched Nitro. JR: “I was busy!” Back in and Raven grabs a cobra clutch of all things.

Saturn escapes but Raven hits a HARD knee lift to send him out to the floor. Saturn keeps trying to get back in but Raven keeps knocking him back to the floor. He manages to get back in with a sunset flip but Raven grabs the rope for two. Saturn hits his usual nice superkick and pounds away. Suplex puts Raven down again. Raven counters a top rope rana and a sunset flip gets two. Perry goes way old school with a catapult and the Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza gives Saturn the win.

Rating: C. This was a Raw match but it was fine. Saturn bleeding from the eye made him look like a warrior…even though this wasn’t a match that needed a warrior. These two always had solid chemistry together and even here with Raven and Saturn both meaning nothing it was a decent match.

Saturn wouldn’t be long for the company and would hit the indies, including World Wrestling All-Stars. Here’s his match from their Retribution show in 2003.

Sabu vs. Simon Diamond vs. Perry Saturn

This is a hardcore match because Sabu can’t wrestle anything else. Saturn is freshly released from WWE and has been out for awhile with a knee injury. Disco does the intros here for no apparent reason. Before the match, Simon complains about having to be in a hardcore match despite being a top level athlete. Saturn still has the kidnapped Midajah with him here. She’s also in a different outfit than she was earlier.

The fans immediately chant for ECW, obviously getting what the promoters were shooting for. Diamond gets double teamed to start so he bails to the floor. Saturn throws Sabu down but Sabu trips him up, leading to a slugout. Diamond comes back in when they both go down for near falls on both guys. Saturn hiptosses Sabu to the floor but gets rolled up by Simon, as this three way battle of the S’s continues.

Sabu comes back in for a triple headlock spot (usually a sleeper in ECW but I guess WWE bought that concept in the acquisition) before Diamond is sent to the floor. A spear by Saturn puts Sabu down, only for Sabu to come back with a springboard leg lariat for two. Diamond and Saturn go to the floor while Sabu sets up a chair in the ring. A BIG dive takes out everyone and we all lay down on the floor for a bit. Diamond and Saturn seem to hook up, but Sabu pelts the chair at Saturn’s head as he comes back in.

Time for Simon vs. Sabu for a bit but Saturn comes back in and rams the chair into Sabu’s throat. Midajah is still at ringside despite her captor being occupied in the ring. Saturn suplexes both guys down but doesn’t seem interested in going for a pin. Diamond is back in now to clothesline Saturn down and put Sabu in a shoulder hold on the mat. Saturn is busted open badly around his eye. With Sabu down, Simon puts on an armbar at the same time that Saturn puts on a leg lock. Simon lets go first to stop Saturn before loading up a table on the floor.

Diamond tries to suplex Sabu over the top and through the table but it’s Saturn making the save with a chair shot to the ribs. Simon falls to the floor so Saturn can pose for a bit. He poses too long though and Simon comes back in with a suplex to take Saturn down. Sabu hits Saturn with the chair and hits the Arabian Facebuster on Simon. Saturn is laid out on the table outside as Simon is ranaed off the top by Sabu. Perry comes back in with a top rope elbow drop on Simon for no cover.

Now it’s Sabu taking over with running leg lariats to both guys but Saturn breaks up the Triple Jump Moonsault. There are the Rings of Saturn on Sabu but Simon makes the save. An electric chair puts Saturn down but a clothesline puts Simon on the floor. Saturn suplexes Diamond through the table before loading up another one. Diamond is laid out on the table where Sabu dives through it and him.

Cue the freaking midgets again to beat up Saturn with kendo sticks, drawing in Midajah. She defends Saturn for absolutely no apparent reason, allowing Saturn to get two on Sabu after a Death Valley Driver. All the guys are down so the midgets strip Midajah. Saturn covers her up and walks out as Simon hits a reverse DDT for two on Sabu. The chair is pelted at a diving Diamond and it’s a Triple Jump Moonsault to Simon’s legs for the pin, FINALLY ending this.

Rating: D. WHO DECIDED TO GIVE THIS SEVENTEEN FREAKING MINUTES????? Sabu is the kind of guy who should never be given more than about eight minutes, so these knuckleheads decided to DOUBLE that? The match was the biggest collection of mostly missing spots that you’ll see this side of ECW, but it had tables in it so it’s awesome right?

In a bizarre story, Saturn would get shot helping a woman and develop a drug addiction. He completely dropped off the map and was assumed to be dead for a long while. He was found working in a door factory in Iowa. Saturn finally returned to wrestling about seven years later. Here’s the return match from AWE Night of the Legends in 2011.

Perry Saturn vs. C.W. Anderson

This is Saturn’s return match after being a homeless drug addict who people thought was dead for years. Saturn now has a tattoo on his face ala Mike Tyson. He also has a beer gut and no mustache now which is a weird look for him. Feeling out process to start with Saturn shoving Anderson into the corner. This appears to be the goofy Saturn again which isn’t really that fun to watch.

C.W. bails to the floor almost immediately and hits Saturn in the head with a chair as Saturn tries a suicide dive. Back in and Perry is busted open just a bit. Perry’s arm is sent into the buckle and we get our first psychology of the match. Off to an armbar as the match stays slow. A clothesline gets a very slow two count for Anderson and he throws Saturn to the floor for fun.

Back in and it’s back to the armbar as the announcers bicker about some nonsense. Anderson charges into a boot in the corner and Saturn takes him down with a bulldog. Back up and Saturn charges into a superkick for two but he comes back with a fast sunset flip for a very slow three count to win his return match.

Rating: D+. Considering this was his first match back in nine years, this was pretty good stuff. The problem here is mainly with Anderson. I’ve never gotten the appeal of this guy but he keeps getting work because of a few months he spent working with ECW near the end. Wrestling is funny that way.

Saturn is a guy that has talent but was bizarre at times to say the least. I blame a lot of his career being messed up due to WCW not capitalizing on his momentum after the first feud with Raven as the stupid Ernest Miller feud just stopped anyone from caring about him at all. That’s a shame too as the guy was very talented and almost got over huge anyway. Still though, he was fun while he lasted.

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