WWF Wrestling Challenge – January 24, 1988: It’s Royal Rumble Day

WWF Wrestling Challenge
Date: January 24, 1988
Location: Municipal Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

This is the day of the first ever Royal Rumble but of course this show was taped weeks earlier. They’ve been treating the Rumble like any other house show which is so strange to hear when it’s such a huge event anymore. On the other hand, there’s only one more show after this before Hogan vs. Andre II so expect to hear a lot more of that in the next two reviews, assuming I get the January 31 edition. Let’s get to it.

After the usual rundown we’re ready to go.

Jerry Allen vs. Honky Tonk Man

Some of the fans have the mini-megaphones that Beefcake mentioned last week. Allen, who I’m sure I’ve heard of, grabs the arm to start but Honky takes him to the ropes to break. We get an inset promo from Liz of all people, saying she doesn’t like Honky like Peggy Sue (Sherri) claims. Honky throws him to the floor for nothing of note. Back inside Allen gets in a few punches before ducking his head against a guy whose finisher is a swinging neckbreaker. This guy deserves to get pinned, which he does.

Quick recap of the Matilda theft story, including a message from the Bulldogs saying they’re worried even though they have her back.

Strike Force vs. Dave Waggoner/Tiger Chung Lee

Non-title again. Santana and Lee start things off. The champions start off with some double teaming as we hear Demolition talking about wanting the titles. Martel hits a nice flying headscissors to take Lee down and grabs an armbar. Waggoner comes in and has some better luck against Tito, but it lasts about fifteen seconds before Santana shoves him to the Strike Force corner and brings in Martel. Strike Force takes over and the forearm gets the pin.

Rating: D+. This was your usual tag team squash but I’m a big Strike Force mark so I almost always rate them higher than usual. It’s kind of strange that no one remembers their title reign but it ran for about six months. If a team were champions for six months today the world would probably collapse. Actually scratch that as no one would notice.

Gene talks about the Rumble. Hacksaw says he’s going to stay in a corner to see them all coming. Listen to this man! He doesn’t like Harley Race that much either.

Bigelow says this is going to be his year.

Ted DiBiase vs. Dave Stoudemire

Dave dropkicks DiBiase into Virgil to start and gets thrown to the floor for his efforts. Ted pounds him on the floor then he pounds him in the ring. A powerslam sets up a middle rope falling elbow for the pin. Total squash but the dropkick at first was a little surprise.

Muraco talks about needing the luck of the draw.

Bad News Brown is still coming.

Brutus Beefcake vs. Dusty Wolfe

Wolfe takes over quickly but charges into an elbow. Jimmy doesn’t like Brutus that much and wants the Barber banned. Sleeper and we’re done.

Wolfe gets his hair cut.

Ron Bass is the “live” interview this week. He says he won’t whip DeGeorge but says that he’s the baddest man around. Bass issues challenges to all the big names and makes DeGeorge get on his knees.

The fans are split on Hogan vs. Andre.

Greg Cooper/Brady Boone vs. Islanders

Boone actually shoulder blocks Tama down to start but gets slammed face first into the mat. Tama shouts that it was for Bobby. SAVAGES DON’T TALK! IF THEY COULD THEY WOULDN’T BE SAVAGES!!! I’m not sure what there is to say here. It’s total dominance and Tama wins it with the top rope splash on Cooper. Total squash.

More fans talk about the title match and there’s no consensus still.

Don Muraco vs. Mike Sharpe

Sharpe gets in some shoulders and a headlock but Muraco runs him down. Gorilla talks about Pat Patterson and the IC Title which is something you don’t hear about that often. Muraco comes back with power and a modified tombstone wins it.

Dino Bravo vs. WD Wellington

The majority of the match is spent talking about the bench press attempt at the Rumble. That segment would last about twenty minutes, or longer than anything but the Rumble. The match is a quick squash and ends with the side suplex.

Gene talks about the Rumble which has the proper name now. The odd thing is that these promos would all be shot in one long day so I wonder why they changed it in the middle. Slick comes in and hopes his men have high numbers. He also respects Gene. Ok then.

Overall Rating: D. This was again boring and I wasn’t really caring that much. The bigger names on the card were some nice changes though as we had the IC and tag champions out there. Hogan didn’t even show up on Superstars so this is as good as any TV show got. This was nothing special though and the squashes were shorter than usual.

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WWF Wrestling Challenge – January 17, 1988: The Rumble Royal? Since When?

WWF Wrestling Challenge
Date: January 17, 1988
Location: Municipal Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

Back to the early 1988 B shows from the boys up north. We’re still getting close to the Rumble which probably won’t be mentioned more than in passing. Expect some more talk about the upcoming Hogan vs. Andre II match, assuming that’s been advertised already. This is going to be very similar to the Superstars shows that I’ve already done so I’ll know a lot of it before I watch it. Let’s get to it.

We get a message from Bill Boner, the mayor of Nashville, welcoming us to the city.

Gorilla and Bobby are hosts. Gorilla: “Gorilla Monsoon here with this miserable individual.” He’s coming out swinging this week.

They run down the card and Duggan is called a policeman. I haven’t heard that one before.

Jake Roberts vs. Gino Carabello

Gino can barely make it onto the bottom rope to hold his arms up. Gino gets in a single shot before Jake knees him in the ribs to take over. Jake grabs the arm as the fans chant for the DDT. Short clothesline and a slam set up the DDT for the quick squash win.

Gino gets the snake treatment.

Dino Bravo is going to attempt to break a world bench press record at the Rumble and he speaks French about that for a bit.

Jimmy Hart’s Glamor Girls defend the Women’s Tag Titles against the Jumping Bomb Angels. Look those challengers up if you want to see some cool women wrestlers. They get a quick word in Japanese here.

Demolition vs. Omar Atlas/Rex King

Ax and let’s say King start us off and it’s time to pound on the back. Smash comes in for some slams and throws King to the outside. Ax slams him on the concrete and it’s time for more pain. A HARD chop puts King in the ropes and it’s off to Omar. He gets smashed (see? The name makes sense) down as Gorilla and Heenan have some funny exchanges about Heenan’s standing in the company. Fuji says that’s enough and the Decapitator ends Omar.

Rating: D. This wasn’t much other than a long squash, but the tag matches were almost always longer. Demolition was straight up awesome and they dominated for so long that there was no one capable of hanging with them. The match was boring but at least the music was cool.

Gene keeps telling us about the Rumble Royal coming up next Sunday in Ontario. Ron Bass likes his chances and explains the rules one more time.

Bad News Brown is coming.

Jim Duggan vs. Joe Mirto

Harley Race says he’s the real king. Heenan bails to go take care of something else as Duggan pounds away. Mirto is a big guy too so this is even more impressive. Three Point Clothesline ends this.

Van Van Horne vs. Rick Rude

Gorilla thinks Rude vs. Warrior would be a classic. Well I wouldn’t say classic but it was certainly good so chalk up most of one for Monsoon. Rude offers a free shot at the ribs which does nothing of course so he snap suplexes Van Horne after shrugging it off. Rude keeps beating him down but Heenan won’t let him end it. Oh ok now he can so Rude hits a NICE dropkick. I’ve never seen him do that before but it worked perfectly. Rude Awakening ends this.

More Rumble stuff. The Gang and Reed aren’t wanting to go to Canada but they’ll go for the money.

Young Stallions vs. Los Conquistadors

Powers starts with let’s say #1 and armdrags him down. Off to #2 who gets caught as well. The Stallions double team #2 as Heenan is back with facts about Los Conquistadors. They’re from South America and one of them is not named Raoul. One of them, the one we’ll presume isn’t named Raoul, comes off the top with a shot to the back of Powers and more double teaming commences. #1 misses a dive off the top and it’s off to Roma. No one in the crowd seems to care as Powers hits a powerslam on #2 for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not the worst match in the world but the Stallions weren’t interesting at all. They were both your run of the mill muscle guys that were nothing different than any other guys with their builds would have been. There’s just nothing there and that’s why no one cared about them. Even in a less crowded tag team scene they wouldn’t have meant anything.

We get our “live” interview segment with Andre and DiBiase. They talk about the Main Event and Andre says he’ll win the title for DiBiase.

Ultimate Warrior vs. Brian Costello

Warrior immediately clotheslines him over the top to the floor before suplexing him back in. Someone gives Heenan an envelope. Gorilla press and splash get the pin.

Bolsheviks/Butch Reed/One Man Gang vs. Killer Bees/Lanny Poffo/Rick Hunter

This is the closest thing you’ll get to a big match on this show for all intents and purposes. The Bees break up the Soviet anthem and we start with Blair vs. Boris. Off to Brunzell quickly as Heenan shows Gorilla a letter from Tunney reinstating the Islanders. O’Connor Roll gets two on Nikolai, who locks in a bearhug on Brunzell. Reed comes in and runs over Lanny with an elbow and Hunter comes in. Reed runs him over and the Gang hits whatever he called the gordbuster for the pin. Not enough to rate but it was a squash.

Beefcake has his own small bullhorns which he’ll give to the fans to counteract the Megaphone. Then it’ll be him vs. Valentine, which is what he wants.

Gorilla and Bobby wrap it up.

Overall Rating: D+. Nothing of note here but it wasn’t bad. The idea was to talk about the Main Event and it’s pretty clear that no one intended the Rumble to be a major event. I’m more curious about what they’re doing with the name, as it was Rumble Royal a week before the show but the Royal Rumble when it aired. Anyway, pretty weak show, but things would pick up soon.

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Armageddon 2000: So Six Guys Walk Into A Cell…

Armageddon 2000
Date: December 10, 2000
Location: Birmingham-Jefferson Civic Center, Birmingham, Alabama
Attendance: 14,920
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This was another request. To call this a one match show is an understatement. That being said, the one match is a 6 man Hell in a Cell match for the world title. There’s also a Kane vs. Jericho last man standing match here to fill in some time. Other than that there isn’t a ton on the card but it looks ok. It’s your standard late Attitude Era stuff so it should be at least ok. Let’s get to it.

The opening video shows all kind of destruction set to a nearly creepy song.

The Cell is hanging above the ring here but not in its usual high up place. It’s like ten feet above the ring which is kind of odd looking. On Heat Foley promised that if there was a major injury he would resign as Commissioner.

Vince is here and Patterson/Brisco welcome him. Vince has a cane for reasons I don’t remember.

Hardy Boys/Lita vs. Radicalz

Radicalz are Saturn, Malenko and Guerrero and this is under elimination rules. This is because Malenko, a ladies man at the time, won a date with Lita due to beating her in a Light Heavyweight Title match. It also resulted in Lita looking AMAZING in white bra and panties. Matt made the save in the bedroom in a funny bit. I haven’t seen that in years.

Eddie is in his old school attire with the half singlet. Jeff does a big dive to take out Perry and Eddie. Fans are all over Eddie as the heels control early. The fans are way behind Lita. Granted if you believe certain rumors lots of people have been behind Lita. And in front of her. Uh on top. Beneath too. Jeff puts out Eddie with a Swanton and Saturn takes a Whisper in the Wind but a Death Valley Driver ends Jeff. I know that came off really fast but that’s all that happened.

Saturn goes out to a Twist of Fate and it’s Dean vs. Matt and Lita. Terri gets speared down by Lita and Malenko gets Matt with a rollup. This makes sense as they’re the most important people to this angle. She uses her lucha stuff to try to get a quick pin but she’s in over her head here. Dean punches her in the chest and hits a top rope suplex to more or less end her. He pulls her up though and I have a feeling I know where this is going. Never mind as the Cloverleaf ends it. Lita says she knows she can beat him.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but this should have been Dean vs. Lita without the other four guys. I guess they were ok and at least they went out without having it to mean much. This wasn’t much though but it was fast paced enough to get something decent going. It’s cool to see Lita put up a fight against a man though which was one of the major points here.

Kurt is warming up and is interrupted by Lillian. He asks her about Bulgarians and various other foreigners. Oh it’s because of him beating them in the Olympics. Angle was the best pompous jerk ever.

We get a HIAC moment as Jack gets backdropped through it and the ring.

European Title: Hardcore Holly vs. William Regal

Regal is a goodwill ambassador here so he tries to be nice but more or less fails. He would become Commissioner before Mania. Regal makes some cheap Alabama jokes but gets cut off by Holly. And here we go immediately. Something tells me this is going to be short. That would be Wikipedia which has the match time on it and it’s under five minutes. Regal takes over and hits a nice top rope suplex which is the move of the night apparently.

We get a Bow and Arrow which is something you never see anymore. Regal uses some very cool old school stuff at times which is fun for people like me that love stuff like that. Holly hits his dropkick and a Falcon’s Arrow but doesn’t cover. Top rope legdrop gets two and that’s more or less it as Holly has hit all of his stuff and didn’t win. For absolutely no apparent reason, RAVEN comes in and hits a DDT on Holly for the pin. I don’t remember a feud or anything at all with Raven in it but whatever.

Rating: D. Boring little match here that I guess was supposed to start up something about the Hardcore Title or something like that but apparently it didn’t mean much since I don’t remember it at all. This was really short and Holly is really bad so it’s not like there was a point here or anything. Just a filler match.

Rikishi isn’t worried about Angle and HHH breaking their three man alliance. Who thought he should be a main event heel?

Ah apparently Holly beat Raven on Monday. Yeah Ross and Lawler should have known that.

Chyna vs. Val Venis

This is RTC stuff. Billy Gunn can NOT come out here according to Chyna. It’s on in the aisle and Chyna is dominating easily. The feud started because Chyna was in Playboy and the RTC objected. They were a parody of the PTC which is a really annoying organization that hates TV because it’s evil and corrupts kids. Chyna gets a DDT for two. The referee tells them two minutes and we go back to even.

Ross calls Ivory Lilith Crane which is rather accurate. Powerslam by Venis sets up the Money Shot which misses. Chyna had been IC Champion at this point so this really shouldn’t be that huge of a one sided match. Ivory gets chased on the floor and gets caught by Val in a Fisherman’s Suplex to end it.

Rating: D. Total TV match here and not a very good one. The blowoff would come at Mania where Chyna destroyed Ivory to win the Women’s Title. She left the company like three months later and no one really cared. This went nowhere at all though and really should have been on Raw or Smackdown.

More HIAC stuff, this time of Foley lighting the board on fire.

Stephanie is worried for HHH. I’m worried for people that have to watch her try to act.

Before the show, Taker is in the empty arena and tells Kevin Kelly about his thoughts and history in the Cell. He literally talks for five minutes, complete with clips from the two more famous Cell matches he was in.

Vince and the Stooges come out. This was during the Linda divorce thing. Vince is worried about the six guys in the match tonight and wants the match called off. This of course takes like 5 minutes also.

We recap Jericho vs. Kane which started over Jericho spilling coffee on Kane and saying something about a burn.

Kane vs. Chris Jericho

This is a last man standing match. They start in the aisle and fight to the back where there is no camera, making the fans rather annoyed. Ah there they are in the back. A big shovel shot misses Jericho and we’re out in the arena now for more than 8 seconds. Nice jumping elbow from the top puts Kane down. The more I see of him the more I like him after a match for Superstars against Yoshi Tatsu. It was just a clinic on how to have a wrestling match.

Teddy Long is the referee which is weird to see. Kane is mad at Jericho over Kane not being able to be handsome due to the HORRIBLE burning and scars. I love continuity issues in wrestling. Pretty much all Kane at this point. JR and King have a weird moment as you have to wonder about two guys that spend that much time together. They started the jokes, not me.

Jericho goes for a spinwheel kick and gets caught. That’s relatively awesome. Lionsault of course misses and Jericho is in trouble again. The top rope clothesline gets a 6 for Kane. Jericho says screw you and gets chokeslammed for his troubles. Since Jericho is getting massacred here I’d bet on him to win. How can you have neutral corners in a one on one match?

Jericho gets up just in time to beat the count off of that to stun Kane. The current world champion, which still feels weird to type, grabs a chair. Jericho blasts him in the balls. Sometimes that’s all you need to do: just blast the dude down south. Missile dropkick puts Kane down but Jericho pulls him up. Lionsault onto a chair onto Kane and I wonder how much that would actually hurt Kane. If Jericho was holding the chair it definitely would but I’m not sure here.

Kane sits up at like 8 and beats the crap out of Jericho. Blonde dude gets thrown to the floor and his head smacks the mat on the ground which looks awesome but painful too. We head up to the production area and Kane goes through a table. The set of the PPV is more or less a war zone where everything is a wreck. One of the things there is a massive wall of barrels which Jericho knocks onto Kane, which he could be on his feet underneath, for the win.

Rating: C+. Pretty good here but nothing really all that great. There are FAR better last man standing matches even on Raw. This was ok though with Jericho never being beaten down long enough to make his comeback unrealistic. They did a decent enough job of passing about 20 minutes though. Not a lot of chemistry here though.

Foley isn’t having second thoughts about making the match.

HBK is at WWF New York and is pretty clearly intoxicated. This is less than three years after his back injury and just under two years before he comes back. He can barely talk and picks Taker to win the match tonight.

Quick recall of the thumb tacks at the second match, which was a brand new spot at the time.

Some XFL players are here.

Tag Titles: Edge and Christian vs. Right to Censor vs. Dudley Boyz vs. K-Kwik/Road Dogg

K-Kwik is R-Truth and the RTC (Buchanan and Goodfather) are the champions here oddly enough. The Dudleyz had pretended to join the RTC but wound up putting Richards through a table. This appears to be one fall to a finish. Truth and Dogg do a rap to the ring and it’s awful. Buchanan and D-Von start us off and the champion dominates. I’d expect more or less a mess here for the most part.

Yep there’s nothing close to a structure here other than two guys in there at once more often that not. Bubba does Road Dogg’s dance in a funny bit. The fans want tables already and a very fast moving K-Kwik beats up Edge. This isn’t much at all. Everything breaks down and Truth goes for an over the top rope dive but gets caught in a shoulderbreaker.

What’s Up to Edge and it’s Table Time. This time though they just hit RTC with it. They TOTALLY mistime 3D as it ends in a downward spiral instead of a cutter. The one on Goodfather isn’t much better as the cutter barely connects. Spear to Bubba gets two as D-Von is down on the floor thanks to Steven. Unprettier gives Edge and Christian the tag belts.

Rating: D+. Total mess here with no need to have Road Dogg and Kwik in there as they just made things too complicated. Four teams are just too many and this never went anywhere. The tag titles hopped around all the time back in this era and it didn’t really matter what happened who had them here. Nothing that bad I guess but it just never got going at all.

HHH rants at Stephanie about having to be champion, which he wouldn’t do for well over a year. He also forgets when he beat Foley.

Speaking of that we have a clip from said match, which is very underrated.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Benoit vs. Billy Gunn

Gunn is THE ONE here and somehow has even fewer people caring about him than he did back in the Outlaw days. Hmm I wonder who is going to win here. No point to this match is given but I’d bet on it just being a title match for the sake of having a title defense, which is fine if they get it on the far better Benoit. Nice drop toehold on Benoit and that’s about all that’s nice from Gunn.

JR gets in one of those creepy lines by saying Benoit hangs with everybody. Benoit goes after the knee and it’s one sided so far. Hopefully it stays that way so that Gunn doesn’t get to go on offense. Benoit puts on a Figure Four and Gunn’s selling is awful. He doesn’t even move until he goes for the reversal. He raises a shoulder to avoid the pin but other than that there is nothing from Gunn at all.

The headbutt misses as this has been a very boring match. Gunn uses a gorilla press and his knee is fine apparently. Same with a Jackhammer. Oh wait he’s limping so everything is ok. Fameasser gets two, signaling that Benoit will in fact be winning the title here. Crossface goes on but Billy makes the ropes. They botch the heck out of something and the fans boo loudly. And there’s the Crossface to give Benoit the title completely clean.

Rating: D. Even with Benoit in there this was bad. Gunn was just so totally worthless most of the time and this was no exception. He was botching stuff all over the place, he wouldn’t sell the knee and the ending was just out of left field because he wouldn’t sell the knee. Thankfully though they got the belt off of him and Benoit would move on to Jericho and then Angle, so all was right with the world.

Austin talks to JR and says you can’t prepare for a HIAC match and that he hasn’t slept. The prize is the title but he’ll take revenge when he can get it.

Women’s Title: Molly Holly vs. Ivory vs. Trish Stratus

Trish is worthless at this point and can’t do a thing in the ring other than look good. Molly is very attractive at this point, wearing the blue outfit and having the blonde pigtails. The blondes fight while Ivory just kind of stands off in the back. Trish is a heel at this point too. Molly takes them both out with a cross body and then Ivory steals the pin on Trish after Molly hit a powerbomb on her. This barely broke two minutes. T&A comes out to go after Molly but Crash and the APA, who T&A had injured, returns for the big beatdown.

Rating: N/A. Molly’s hotness was very underrated back then. That plus Trish was a great combination. But this is the next to last match on the card? Really?

Taker threw Foley off the Cell.

Rock talks about being ready to do whatever it takes to win the match.

The match was basically three feuds: Rock/HHH, Angle/Taker and Austin/Rikishi being thrown into one match. Today this would be the Elimination Chamber. Vince doesn’t want it to happen and for some reason doesn’t just call it off since he’s, you know, the boss.

WWF Title: HHH vs. The Rock vs. Undertaker vs. Steve Austin vs. Rikishi vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is champion here. I remember the buildup for this and the question being who would take the huge bump. It more or less came down to Rock or HHH as Taker was too big, Rikishi was too big and Austin/Angle both had far too bad necks to take the risk. Rikishi is just so freaking worthless that it’s amazing. Angle comes out third which is kind of weird. If I remember right Chyna made fun of his attire here as he complained about his package looking too small. Rikishi is mad at Angle for beating him up on Smackdown due to that alliance being broken. I think this is the debut of Rollin as Taker’s theme song. Rock walks straight in as Angle is staying outside for awhile. There are like 6 referees in there keeping people from fighting each other before the match starts. Austin gets a HUGE pop since we’re in the deep south. He throws Angle in and we’re on.

The match has to end in the cage. I’ll do what I can to keep track of what’s going on here but don’t count on much. Angle vs. Taker, Samoan violence and Austin vs. HHH if you’re curious. Lawler evaluates the talent in there at a billion dollars. And people wonder why the USWA went out of business. Leaping knee takes Austin down. We’re just standing around at the moment as we wait on the big thing to happen, likely involving vince. Rock beats on Angle in the ring while the other four fight on the floor.

And now there’s no one in the ring. Ok then. Ah make that Angle/Rock again. This really would have been perfect for the Chamber if it had existed at the time. They overhype everything here as it’s decent but really just a lot of punching so far. HHH gets rubbed into the cage by Austin. Lawler: Don’t rip his nose off! This really isn’t that interesting at all. A bloody HHH hits the Pedigree on Rikishi and Rock saves. I think that’s the first cover of the match.

Finishers a go-go in the ring and everyone saves. After some more basic stuff, Vince and the Stooges come down with a freaking hay truck and says he’s going to tear the cage down. There goes the door and you know what’s coming now. Foley comes down and runs the three guys off, saying the match is going to happen. HHH is outside and Austin follows him.

They fight up by the cars and everyone else comes up there too. Austin hits him with a boom camera and winds up going through a window to bust him open. Pedigree on Rock onto a car. Isn’t the point of a Cell match for the to stay in the Cell? Rock is bleeding….kind of. Ah that’s more like it. Ross oversells everything here, making it sound like it’s the best match ever or something like that. HHH takes a slingshot into a car in a cool looking spot.

Taker and Angle go back to the ring area and it’s all Taker. A chair shot busts him open as HHH and Austin climb the cage. They fight on top and HHH teases the big drop. Angle comes up too to get away from Taker. Stunner on the roof and Taker is up there now too. Rock and Rikishi are the only two not up there at this point. Angle is bleeding now and HHH climbs down to HUGE booing. Austin follows which makes sense.

And here come the Samoans. Taker gets a chair on top somehow and hits a SICK shot to Angle’s head. The fat man hits Taker though and stands tall. It’s just hard take him seriously in that thong though. Rock is on the floor as I don’t think he was ever up top. Angle gets down and it’s the two big men left. They slug it out near the edge over the truck and in the words of Mark Madden: FLY FAT BOY FLY! Austin stops dead to see what the thud was, as does Rock. Austin’s face is the most interesting part here actually.

The roof goes off as Austin and Rock slug it out. You knew that was Mania right there. What we didn’t know was that it would top off the best PPV of all time. Rock actually wins the fight and sets for the elbow. Cue HHH for the save as I wonder how we never got the triple threat with these three guys. Rock Bottom to Angle but Austin saves. Stunner to Rock and we get a back flip, but HHH takes out Austin with a neckbreaker, allowing Kurt to put his hand on Rock to retain and shock everyone kind of, ending the show.

Rating: B. This was good but a far cry from the other Cell matches. Like I said, this was perfect for the Chamber but this was still a big match. The first half or so is really weak until we get to all the finishers, but even then we were waiting on it to turn into the big war. Vince and the truck did that and once that happened it really took off and was the match I think they were shooing for. It’s good but it’s not a classic. Meltzer allegedly said it was a match of the year candidate. Must have been a very weak class that year if that’s the case.

Overall Rating
: D+. The main event is good and worth seeing for the spectacle, but other than that this show is really pretty weak. It’s painful to sit through as we’re just waiting on the last match to start which took forever to get to. There’s some ok stuff but for the most part nothing of note happens here.

A lot of this stuff should have gone on Raw and you kind of have to wonder what the point was in having a lot of this stuff on PPV other than it being filler. It’s ok, but it’s nothing you would want to watch again save for maybe the final match. Watch that, but otherwise not worth the time unless you really love this era.

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Monday Night Raw – September 3, 2001: Kurt Angle: American Psycho

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 3, 2001
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 14,890
Commentators: Paul Heyman, Jim Ross

Another week closer to Unforgiven and to the best of my knowledge, nothing has been announced for the show yet. After the last two weeks being horribly uninteresting shows, hopefully things can bounce back a little bit tonight. The problem with the Alliance stuff at this point is they don’t know what to do next with it. The Alliance is here, they’ve won a few matches, WWF has won a few matches…..and then what? That question never seemed to get answered. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week where Austin stole the medals. On Smackdown he tried to run Angle over and then threw the medals in a river.

Undertaker vs. Test

They fight over who is stronger to start and Taker uses….my goodness he uses a hip toss and an armdrag. Now it’s an STF, which might be better than Cena’s. Test comes back with a clothesline and some elbows to the face. Side slam gets two as does a middle rope jumping back elbow. Test hooks a Russian legsweep but Taker comes back with a rolling leg lock which is quickly broken up. The fans chant for the Leafs as Taker hits a clothesline. He loads up the Last Ride but Steven Richards of all people runs in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Not horrible here as it was nice to see Undertaker actually let someone else get in some offense for a change. The ending kind of sucked but I think it was to allow Richards to bring in Kronik to fight Kane/Undertaker. The stuff from Undertaker was pretty nice for a change, especially the armdrags and STF about five years before he became the MMA Cowboy of Death.

Test kicks Undertaker’s head off post match.

Christian says he’s looking forward to winning the title tonight. He’s talking to an usher or something like that when fans come up and say they’ve got front row seats. They’re happy to see Edge’s brother. Christian tells the usher to make sure they’re put in the nosebleed seats so they don’t mess up the pictures when he wins the WCW Title.

Richards says that he jumped Undertaker because Undertaker played a big role in disbanding the RTC. He wants a match with Undertaker on Smackdown.

Clips from the Wrestlemania press conference where the announcement was made that it’s coming to Toronto.

Regal is talking to Tajiri and tells him if he finds a partner tonight, he can have a #1 contenders match vs. the Dudleys. Big Show comes in and speaks Japanese, apparently because he’s Tajiri’s partner.

Austin and Debra get here and the Alliance is waiting for Austin with an ovation. They have a surprise for Austin later because they’re inspired by him throwing Angle’s medals in the river last week.

Dudley Boys vs. Tajiri/Big Show

This is for the #1 contendership for one of the sets of tag titles. Show runs them both over to start and it’s off to Tajiri to face D-Von. Tarantula gets a big pop. Bubba cheats and uses a hot shot on Tajiri to give the EVIL ones the advantage. Torrie comes down and gets in Tajiri/Show’s corner as Bubba drops elbows. Apparently this is for the shot at both sets of titles. Ok then. Tajiri kicks Bubba’s head off and it’s hot tag to Big Show. He cleans house but Tajiri accidentally shoots mist at him, allowing the 3D to pin Tajiri.

Rating: D. What was the point of this again? Was there no team that they could have thrown at the Dudleys to set this up? Sadly enough there isn’t because the division was on the verge of death at this point. Not much to see here but I’m sure the Torrie and Tajiri stuff is starting up soon.

Show runs over Torrie because he’s blind so he carries her off. The Dudleys put Tajiri through the table to a big pop. Show comes back out to make the save, despite Tajiri being dead for the most part.

Shane and Booker offer to help Christian win the title in exchange for the first shot. Christian seems cool with this.

The US Champion Kanyon (I had to remind myself since he never defends the thing) at WWF New York loves Austin and sounds like the Cowardly Lion.

Stephanie comes in to see Austin and Debra to tell them that the surprise is getting closer. Austin thinks Debra is scared that Kurt Angle might be coming. Stephanie assures her there’s no chance Angle will be here tonight. Debra gets him a beer and it fizzes a bit. Uh…ok?

Shawn Stasiak vs. Spike Dudley

Stasiak pounds him in the corner and powerslams him in front of a quiet crowd. Gorilla press gets almost no reaction and the beating continues. Spike gets tripped by Stacy which means nothing as Stasiak charges into a boot in the corner and the Dudley Dog gets the pin.

Molly beats up Stacy post match.

Christian gives Edge the KOTR trophy back and apologizes for being a jerk lately. He wants to win the title on his own tonight too.

Moppy has been kidnapped and Saturn has been given a ransom note asking for $100,000. He asks Hurricane for help and using some very questionable logic, Hurricane concludes that it’s Matt Hardy’s doing.

WCW World Title: Christian vs. The Rock

Shane is guest timekeeper and Booker is guest ring announcer. After Booker introduces himself and Shane, we’re ready to go. Booker distracts Rock and Christian jumps him to start. Shane gets in some shots on the floor and Rock is in trouble due to the numbers game. Rock gets it to one on one and hammers away but Christian kicks him right back down. Out to the floor again and Booker drops Rock on the belt on the table chest first.

Now Christian sends Rock into the table as Canada Power is in control. The reverse DDT onto the knee gets two. After a quick run on the floor Rock hits the Samoan Drop to put both guys down. Shane distracts the referee and Booker slides in the belt to Christian. Rock fights back and hits the belly to belly and a DDT for two. Spinebuster sets up the Sharpshooter but Shane interferes again. Rock drills him but Booker clotheslines him on the top and a reverse DDT gets a VERY close two. Rock throws Christian into Booker and the Rock Bottom retains the title.

Rating: C+. I liked this more than the Rhyno match last week but it was basically the same idea. Rock running through the WCW midcard is fine as they offer quick challenges to him without wasting something big like Booker vs. Rock. It’s clear that match or something similar is happening at Unforgiven, but naturally that’s not important enough to announce yet.

Rock tells Booker to just bring it and it’s on, but Shane jumps Rock and the beatdown commences. The APA makes the save.

Stephanie and Debra go into schoolgirl mode because the surprise is here.

Stephanie comes to the ring to make fun of Canada and their grammar issues. Also why would Canadians celebrate Thanksgiving? Is it because they want to be more like Americans? This comes off like a bad standup comedy bit. They shouldn’t celebrate Labor Day (today) either because they don’t do anything. Speaking of hard work, Stephanie brings out the hardest working man she knows: Austin.

The surprise is a new truck. Debra runs down all the features which takes WAY too long. One of them is the paint job. It’s black. That’s not exactly a feature. It also has a radio and mirrors. She’s really not that good at this. It has power steering and power brakes. Debra is talking about the words written on the tires. Just get to Angle destroying the thing already because you know that’s what this is building to. Debra invites Austin to come see the truck because she wants a ride.

Austin goes to the back and looks at the truck, including the leather which he really likes for some reason. He gets in the back of the truck and says he’s King of the World. FINALLY Kurt comes out of the back and hits Austin with a pipe, chains him up to something in the truck bed and speeds away in the truck.

Matt Hardy/Lita vs. Ivory/Hurricane

The guys start things off and Matt is so fired up that he gets put in position for a superplex. The fans chant for Hurricane as Ivory raises the roof. Men vs. women is cool here. Off to Lita who hits her headscissors but walks into a facejam for two. Off to the men and Matt can’t fire the crowd up at all. Ivory gets speared down but Saturn comes down to break up the middle rope legdrop. Eye of the Hurricane gets the quick pin. This was worthless.

Saturn beats up Hurricane post match.

Storm comes up to Christian and makes fun of him for losing. He makes fun of Toronto and Edge makes fun of Storm for various issues.

Debra does the first logical thing in the history of wrestling kidnappings and CALLS THE POLICE. The Alliance has a TV in their locker room and the truck pops up on it. Where is this feed supposed to be coming from? Austin is also blindfolded despite not being so when they left. Angle rants about the stolen medals and says this inspired him. Angle takes him to the edge of the bridge they’re on and Austin apologizes for throwing the medals away. Kurt lifts him onto the edge but doesn’t throw him. He says we need a higher bridge and it’s back to the driving.

Intercontinental Title: Lance Storm vs. Edge

Huge pop for Edge of course. Storm jumps him during his posing but Edge is ready for him. Storm comes back with an enziguri to send Edge to the floor. Springboard clothesline back inside gets two. Edge gets beaten on for a bit but comes back with clotheslines and a spinwheel kick. Edge-O-Matic gets two. Superkick and Edgecution are blocked and there’s the Maple Leaf. Edge finally makes the rope and Storm stays on the knee, but gets rolled up for Edge to retain.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad at all. Canadians are good at having wrestling matches and this was no exception. To be fair Storm was trained by Stu so did you expect anything but quality? I like both of these guys though so that probably has something to do with it. Granted this was just a way to set up what comes next.

Christian comes out with a chair for the save and cracks Edge with it to turn heel. He adds a one man Conchairto, which I think is the debut of that move. Those were some great chair shots.

Rob Van Dam/Rhyno vs. Jeff Hardy/Chris Jericho

This is Jeff’s return after destroying himself and a table in a ladder match with RVD from two weeks ago on Smackdown. Rob and Chris start things off and a jumping enziguri puts Van Dam down and it’s off to Jeff. The fans chant at Hebner so the match doesn’t get much attention. Jeff pulls Rob off the top and does the legdrop between Rob’s legs. Rhyno and Chris fight so the Swanton gets no count. It also hurts Jeff’s ribs which is the call of the Rhyno who works the injury over.

The fans chant ECW as a belly to belly suplex looks to set up the Gore. Jeff moves and it’s hot tag to Jericho. Rhyno is sent to the floor and Rob counters the Walls. Chris dropkicks Rhyno off the apron and Rob knocks Jericho down and hits a standing moonsault. He tries a German suplex but Jericho rolls through for the pin, just like Edge did in the last match.

Rating: C-. This was more or less a shortened version of last week’s main event which wasn’t all that good. That being said, the only way to fit this massive roster on TV every week is with a tag team main event so there isn’t much of a shock there. Jericho and Van Dam faced each other at the PPV I believe in what was probably one of the best matches of the night.

Back to the American Kidnapping Hero who has found a higher bridge. Austin begs for a bit and Angle continues to be psycho. Angle says he’s going to make Austin think about it, which means we’ve got bills to pay so let’s take a break.

Back with Debra crying in the ring for Austin’s life. This is really bad stuff. Back to Angle and Austin with Austin showing those acting skills as he begs. The payoff for this is Angle demands a rematch at Unforgiven which he gets, and then shoves Austin into a kids’ swimming pool and steals the truck. Yeah seriously, that’s it. Quick question: WHERE DID HE HAVE THE POOL? Did he leave it on a bridge in Toronto for the last hour and no one moved it? That’s a stretch even for a wrestling storyline.

Overall Rating: C-. Well it was a little better but that’s still not saying much. The Christian turn was good and we FINALLY set up a match for Unforgiven, but at the same time it’s still not an interesting show given what they have to work with. That sums up the Alliance in a nutshell: they had everything and gave us nothing of note.

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Monday Night Raw – August 27, 2001: They Do Know There’s A PPV In A Few Weeks Right?

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 27, 2001
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Attendance: 9,972
Commentators: Paul Heyman, Jim Ross

Back to 2001 now with us getting closer to Unforgiven. The main feud is still Angle vs. Austin with some Booker vs. Rock thrown in on the side. I barely remember the last one of these that I did which is probably because I haven’t done one in about a month. I remember them being just ok for the most part though which isn’t a good sign. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip of Austin cheating to beat Jericho to keep the title on Thursday.

Rock defends against Rhyno tonight.

Here’s Shane to open things up. He talks about buying WCW about five months ago and doing it to own the most dominant brand in sports entertainment. The fans don’t really buy that but whatever. One of the things that came with WCW was its champion, Booker T. He was a champion you could be proud of, unlike the current WCW Champion The Rock. It’s all about the money and Rock as champion doesn’t make the money for WCW, because Rock has nothing to do with its history. Therefore, the next champion will be….Rhyno. Come on Shane you’re smarter than that.

Cue Rock who says he knows the history of the WCW Title and how it traces back to Frank Gotch (it doesn’t), Lou Thesz (kind of), Ricky Steamboat and Ric Flair. Rock also knows what the title has come to: Diamond Dallas Page, Booker T, the guy from Scream 2, the maid from the Jeffersons and so on. It’s like Stephanie: everyone gets a turn. Now though the title means something and the Rock will be the most electrifying WCW Champion of all time.

Rock knows he’ll be defending against Rhyno later tonight, but how about right now he comes down there and gives Shane a shot right now? Shane does the Just Bring It hand sign so here comes Rocky. Naturally it’s a trap as Rhyno comes in and Gores Rock to get an advantage later tonight.

Austin has a bad arm which Debra is trying to tend to. As he yells at her, RVD and Raven come in. They have a Hardcore Title match later and since it’s Alliance vs. Alliance they want Austin’s blessing. Instead Austin puts them in the main event instead of him and a mystery partner against Jericho/Angle.

Undertaker vs. Albert

They slug it out and Taker reverses an Irish whip to take over. Old School hits and he does his still bad cross armbreaker. Taker has to stop to chase X-Pac around like it’s 1999 and walks into a shot with the Cruiserweight Title. That gets X-Pac an evil glare so Albert jumps Taker but can’t hit whatever the chokebomb was called at this point. Oh it’s the BaldoBomb. Thanks Paul. Anyway it’s countered into the chokeslam for the pin by Taker.

Rating: D. Taker was in a bad BAD funk at this point and by funk I mean he sucked for about three years. He wouldn’t sell ANYTHING for anyone other than a giant, which is why Kronik was brought in for one of the worst matches in recorded history. This match did nothing for Albert, but that might be for the best.

Shane Helms talks about superheroes before his match with Matt. Ok then.

European Title: Hurricane vs. Matt Hardy

This is the debut of the Hurricane superhero character but he has hip hop music still. Matt looks shocked but he clotheslines Hurricane down quickly. Superkick by Helms sets up a top rope cross body for two. There’s a Russian legsweep by Matt and Hurricane is in trouble. The middle rope leg gets two. A cross body misses for Matt and here’s Ivory to hit Lita in the knee with a pipe. She hits Matt as well, allowing Hurricane to hit the Eye of the Hurricane to steal the pin and the title. This was really quick.

Angle ignores Michael Cole so Cole follows him anyway. Angle finds Raven and gives him a big old beating, putting him in an ankle lock before screaming that RVD needs a new partner.

After a break, here’s the EXACT SAME SEGMENT IN FULL. Good grief.

Lita gets her knee looked at when Raven comes in to get attention as well. The trainer says Raven can’t wrestle so Shawn Stasiak pops in to offer his services to take his place. Austin calls him selfish but gives him the shot anyway. Stasiak leaves so Austin yells at Raven for making him go out there tonight. Austin hits him in the ankle because he’s that kind of guy. I guess Matt and Lita were just watching in the back.

Edge is having a soda when Hugh Morrus comes in to make fun of his fake name. Edge points out how stupid that is and thinks his name should he Hugh Suck. Christian comes in and somehow gets Hugh an IC Title match tonight.

We get a clip of whatever Smackdown Test joined the Alliance on and cost the APA the tag titles.

Test vs. Bradshaw

Brawl to start of course and Bradshaw takes over, hitting a DDT. Shane is at ringside and offers a distraction to let Test take over. Full nelson slam puts Bradshaw down and Test pounds away. Bradshaw tries the Clothesline but Test hits a sidewalk slam to put him right back down. The flying elbow misses and Bradshaw powerslams him for two.

Test tries a cross body into the corner so that Bradshaw can hit the fallaway slam to put him back down. Shane gets up on the apron but Bradshaw sends Test into him for two. Farrooq chases Shane but gets taken down by Test. Bradshaw chases him back in and walks into the big boot for the pin.

Rating: C. This was a MUCH better match than you would have expected. It’s a good example of a match where two power guys didn’t try to be anything more than two power guys, which usually results in an ok match. The interference was a bit overdone but it’s 2001 WWF after all so what else was to be expected? Good match and I was rather surprised by it.

Austin is yelling about Angle attacking Raven when RVD comes in. He thinks Austin did it so that he could team with RVD which would be perfect. RVD says he’ll carry the whole match. Debra likes the idea but Austin doesn’t think so. He’ll get back to RVD on that.

Stasiak is stalking Angle and gets Stacy to help him.

WCW World Title: The Rock vs. Rhyno

They start in the aisle and Rhyno Gores him almost immediately to hurt the ribs again. That gets a quick two in the ring as does a standing powerslam. Rock launches him over the top to give himself a breather. He can’t follow up though because of the ribs so Rhyno throws on a bearhug. This goes on for over a minute which is quite a bearhug. Rock finally punches out of it and hits a Samoan Drop to put both guys down.

A shoulder to the ribs puts Rock right back down as this has been one sided. Suplex gets two. Rock comes back with that belly to belly throw of his and both guys are down again. Back up and the jumping clothesline and DDT get two on Rhyno. A clothesline puts Rock down but he nips up and hits a spinebuster as Shane comes out. A low blow puts Rock down and here’s the APA to chase Shane off. Gore misses and the Rock Bottom retains the title.

Rating: C+. This was a very basic power man vs. injured ribs match and it worked quite well. This is something that is completely missing from Raw and Smackdown today: a main event guy against a midcarder with the champion having some trouble but nothing horrible. They had a pretty good match and you don’t waste anything big on it. Why is that so hard to grasp today?

Stasiak has put a bucket of rancid milk over the door to fall on Angle when he comes through the door. It’ll blind him and Stasiak will beat him up. And Debra comes in instead. COMEDY!

Austin blames Angle for what happened.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. Hugh Morrus

Christian sits in on commentary. Morrus takes him into the corner to start and splashes him to take over. Edge comes back with a drop toehold and a cradle for two. Jackknife cover gets two but Hugh grabs a powerslam for two. Elbow drop gets the same. Suplex puts Edge down and Morrus keeps telling Edge to say it. No idea what that means but Morrus never made a lot of sense. Top rope elbow misses and Edge comes back with clotheslines and a spinwheel kick. Edge-O-Matic gets two but Morrus flapjacks him down. He loads up the moonsault but Christian pops up and hits him for the DQ. Uh….ok?

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here at all. This wouldn’t lead anywhere for Morrus but I guess it furthers the Christian and Edge split, which wouldn’t happen for over another month. The match was nothing of note at all as Morrus was about as low on the Alliance pole as you could possibly be, which made the ending here pretty clear.

Booker is mad at Rock for stealing the title so here’s a clip of the midget from last week. We get a clip from earlier today with Show doing a Booker impression. To put it mildly, it’s REALLY bad.

Stephanie and Jericho run into each other in the back. She says Y2J is five minutes ago and it’s all about RVD now. Jericho says she should be saying H-O-E. This was stupid too.

Big Show vs. Booker T

Booker tries a quick spin kick which is caught and powerbombed with ease. Show throws him around and chops Booker in the corner but the Alley-Oop is countered. Booker superkicks him and hits the ax kick and here’s the Spinarooni. Show sets up the chokeslam but Booker distracts the referee and kicks Show low. That doesn’t do much and they go to the floor but Show’s knee goes into the steps and Booker hits him with a chair for the quick DQ. What was this supposed to accomplish? Getting Booker revenge? That’s fine but have him get a win and put him over Big Show, not this.

Chris Jericho/Kurt Angle vs. Rob Van Dam/???

Austin comes out but not in wrestling gear. There’s a mystery partner and that partner is….Taz. Well that’s kind of a letdown. Angle stomps on RVD in the corner and they’re starting I think. RVD takes him down with a kick and it’s off to Taz. Angle cross bodies him down and here’s Jericho. The Alliance takes over but Jericho manages a Breakdown (Skull Crushing Finale) on RVD for two.

Rob gets in another kick (no, really) and goes up, but Jericho makes the stop and superplexes him for two. Taz comes in to hit his crossface shots to the face which he dedicates to Austin. Heyman compares Austin to John Wayne and says Austin is the better American, almost starting a war between New York and Oklahoma. Rob hooks a chinlock but Jericho escapes and rolls him up for two.

Rolling Thunder gets two and it’s back to Taz who almost allows the tag to Angle. Van Dam hits his spinning legdrop and it’s back to the chinlock for a few seconds. Sunset flip gets two for the Canadian but Rob kicks him down again. Split legged moonsault hits knees though and there’s the tag to Angle. The Alliance takes him down with relative ease and Van Dam hits the Frog Splash but Taz only gets two off of it. Jericho puts Van Dam in the Walls on the floor but Austin breaks it up. In the ring Angle escapes the Tazmission and the Angle Slam ends this.

Rating: C. This was a main event tag match to the letter. Not a great match or anything but for what it was this was fine. It helps to set up the Austin being a hunted man angle, especially with the post match stuff. It also furthers Taz having issues with the Alliance which didn’t go much of anywhere but it happened.

Austin beats up Angle post match and steals his medals. JR freaks out to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This didn’t work for me for the most part. There’s some good stuff in it, but it felt like the show was spinning its wheels for the majority of the time. I don’t know what this is supposed to do and Unforgiven hasn’t even been mentioned yet. The Alliance was about two and a half months away from dying but it seems like they’re on life support by this point. Weak show.

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Monday Night Raw – September 5, 1998: WE GET IT ALREADY!

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 5, 1998
Location: New Haven Coliseum, New Haven, Connecticut
Attendance: 7,607
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is the first Raw after Summerslam and it’s on a Saturday. The Raw after this will be as well before we get back to the regular show on Monday the 14th, giving the fans in 98 two Raws in three days. Summerslam is over and Austin kept his title while HHH ended the DX vs. Nation war with a win in one of my all time favorite matches. We enter the build to the next few PPVs which culminates at Survivor Series. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Vince to open the show with a big smile on his face. He talks about how in a few weeks there’s going to be a breakdown and it’s going to be Steve Austin’s breakdown. And hey, the next PPV just happens to be called Breakdown. See how easy it is to do something like that? Vince says after Breakdown, Austin will no longer be champion. As for Undertaker, he got an insurance policy in Kane, then told Kane to go to the back. “Undertaker is a fool.”

Vince doesn’t like Kane and says the brothers should dominate this company. However the other Superstars are now snickering at the sight of Undertaker and Kane. He insults them a bit more and here come the monsters. Vince runs through the crowd but the two of them chase him down.

Ken Shamrock/Steve Blackman vs. Disciples of Apocalypse

There’s a Salvatore Bellomo 4 Life sign in the crowd. I’ve watched this stuff for a long time and I didn’t ever expect to see that one. Let’s say Skull starts with Shamrock but it’s off to Blackman quickly. Blackman kicks away (no seriously, he kicks a lot) and even adds in a shoulder block but here come Undertaker and Kane who clear the ring about a minute in.

Undertaker puts Blackman in a leg lock and then the monsters chase off DOA.

We recap the Vince speech that ticked off the monsters again. Lawler says it was to motivate Undertaker/Kane.

Clip of the Outlaws winning the titles back from Mankind in a handicap match, followed by Kane popping up and hitting Foley in the dumpster and wheeling him out in the dumpster.

Vader vs. Val Venis

Val’s speech is that he’s like a dog because he comes when he’s called. Dustin Runnels is in the crowd with signs saying “he is coming back.” Val pounds on Vader, Vader pounds on Val, Val pounds on Vader some more. Now for a change of pace, Vader pounds on Val some more. The entire first minute was nothing but punching and a cross body from Val. Belly to belly gets two for Vader. A middle rope splash gets the same. Bradshaw comes in for some reason to yell at Vader (doesn’t hit him) but here are Undertaker/Kane again for another match being thrown out. I sense a theme. Too short to rate but it was bad.

Rock and Henry say they’ll win the titles tonight. By that I mean Rock talks about beating DX and Henry says nothing.

Tag Titles: The Rock/Mark Henry vs. New Age Outlaws

Rock and Gunn trade headlocks to start and Billy hiplocks him down. The Outlaws work on Rock’s arm and it’s off to Road Dogg for an armbar and then a headlock. JR says Henry’s legs literally look like tree trunks. Actually they look like the legs of a muscular black man but then again I’m no professional. Leg drop gets two for Mark. Back to Rock who punches Dogg down in the corner.

People’s Elbow gets two as Billy has to save. The Nation double teams for a low blow on Roadie. Henry comes back in for a bearhug but his splash misses. Off to Billy for a lot of crotch chops and everything breaks down. Rock and Gunn go to the floor and Gunn goes into the post. And here’s Chyna for ANOTHER DQ.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here as the whole thing was based around punching until the Chyna run-in. This feud needed to end quickly as there was nothing left after Summerslam. The Nation would be split up soon, and I think Henry would become Sexual Chocolate soon enough, which I think tied into the Chyna deal.

Here are Tiger Ali Singh and Babu for the usual “Americans will do anything for money” schtick. This time it’s French kissing Babu who has bad breath. The chick looks good at least. Undertaker and Kane FINALLY come out to break this up.

Southern Justice vs. Headbangers

Canterbury puts Thrasher on the floor and Mosh puts Knight out there too. Power vs. speed here as things start to calm down. Canterbury slams Thrasher down for two and the heels take over. Elbow drop gets two. Off to Knight who drops his head between Thrasher’s legs to keep him down. Sunset flip gets two. Thrasher finally avoids a charge in the corner after more beating, and it’s off to Mosh. House is cleaned but he goes after one too many Godwinns so that the Slop Drop (Problem Solver) from Knight gets the pin.

Rating: D. Of all the matches we’ve had tonight, this one gets the clean finish? These teams weren’t interesting to anyone by this point but at least the Headbangers could have some potential. Southern Justice was big, lumbering and completely uninteresting. I don’t know why this match got a clean ending but it was a nice change of pace.

Taker and Kane, who have been looking for Vince all night, go up to the big door marked MR. MCMAHON and knock it open with a sledgehammer. No Vince inside though.

European Title: X-Pac vs. D’Lo Brown

We get a clip of Jeff Jarrett being forcibly shaved at Summerslam in the back. They trade control of the arm to start and Pac speeds things up. Brown shoulders him down and drops an elbow for two. Clothesline is ducked and Pac hits a spinwheel kick to take Brown’s head off. There’s the Bronco Buster but the second attempt hits boot. X-Factor out of nowhere hits and here’s Jarrett for our fourth DQ in five matches tonight. This is the debut of Jeff’s short hair.

Rating: D+. Not a bad match but I’m sick of these cheap endings. This would be Russo’s bad booking style as the whole point of the show is to give a sense of carnage and anarchy but it comes off as more annoying than anything else. We get it: you can end a match by something other than a pin. Now do something else.

Kane and Undertaker come down for the 600th time tonight but Rock comes out to protect D’Lo. Brown runs so Rock gets chokeslammed instead. JR: “He doesn’t look like that on the cover of the new Raw Magazine.” JR can plug like no other.

Edge vs. Marc Mero

This is the aftermath of Sable winning a match all by herself on Sunday while Edge was there too. Feeling out process to start and we talk about the Tom’s River, New Jersey Little League World Series champions. I had a friend who lived in that town when they won. That has no bearing on the match but it’s nothing that great. Lawler: “How did they win the World Series?” JR: “They scored more runs than their opponents.” Edge sends him to the floor and hits a SWEET dive….and here’s Gangrel for DQ #5 tonight.

Edge and Gangrel brawl while Undertaker and Kane come out to beat up Mero.

We get a sitdown interview with Al Snow and get some clips from ECW. Snow talks about being a star there and about how he can be a star here. JR: “You’re talking to a mannequin. Seriously.” Snow talks about how normal he is and how he does stuff like mowing the lawn and going to the grocery store. JR asks about the voices Snow hears which Snow says sound normal.

Now we get into a discussion about the existence of God. Now we get a quick retrospective of Snow’s past incarnations. Snow yelled at JR on Raw once but he says it was NOT a breakdown. He wants to talk to Vince but wouldn’t say anything to him. The voices want to talk to Vince. Ok then. Head starts talking but Snow says they’ll talk in the car. Part 2 is next week. This was bizarre but I couldn’t stop watching.

Undertaker and Kane are still walking around.

Oddities vs. Legion of Doom

This would be a six man tag with Droz in there too. The ICP plays the Oddities to the ring and Hawk comes out to dance with them because he’s “out of it.” Instead it’ll be Animal/Droz vs. all three Oddities The fans chant for the clowns and Hawk wants to dance with them some more. They won’t do it so Hawk beats them up. Droz and Golga start us off with Droz elbowing him down before Hawk steals the tag. Hawk drops the fist to Golga and then tags in Kurrgan. Everything breaks down and Silva powerbombs Hawk to end it. This was nothing.

Hawk dances some more post match.

Video of some legends saying they cheer for the new guys instead of how it used to be.

Undertaker and Kane break more stuff.

Too Much vs. Los Boricuas

I think that’s Miguel starting with Scotty. If I remember right this was back when the plan for Too Much was for them to be the Billy and Chuck of the Attitude Era. Miguel is sent to the floor and goes right back into a pumphandle suplex for two. Off to Christopher (not yet a Grandmaster) who plays Bret in a Hart Attack. Off to Jesus who gets beaten on as well. Lawler explains that he didn’t have Christopher at age 13 because he was just a prince back then.

JR goes on a small anti-internet rant which Lawler turns into a Bill Clinton sex joke. Taylor hits a low dropkick as JR tries to prove that Lawler is Brian’s dad. Are the Boricuas the faces here? It would appear that way as Scotty runs into Christopher and the faces (I think) take over. They hit a double powerbomb on Scotty but Christopher hits the top rope legdrop to the back of Miguel’s head and Scotty gets the pin.

Rating: D. Again, THIS is the match that gets a clean finish? Too Much was really boring because they tried using Memphis stuff on a national stage and that just doesn’t work. Los Boricuas literally never wrestled on Raw again after this so the match means even less. Too Much wouldn’t become Too Cool for almost a year so this was a pretty isolated appearance for them.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Scorpio

Main event time! Scorpio jumps him and the fight is on. Ok make that the basic wrestling match is on. After a quick excursion to the floor, Scorpio kicks him to the floor and they fight out there. Back in Scorpio tries a standing hurricanrana but gets powerbombed for two. Off to the chinlock which is broken up quickly but Scorpio misses the moonsault. Jeff hits a superplex and freaking X-Pac runs in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. I’m done. This show has ticked me off AGAIN. The match was ok but of course we have a run-in. It’s Russo’s World and wrestling has no place on a sports entertainment show. Now I remember why I didn’t like Raw much back then when Austin wasn’t around.

Scorpio gets beaten up by the Brothers and takes a spike tombstone as Vince watches approvingly. They chase him off to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. This show had nine matches and SIX ended in a DQ because of a run-in. It got old really fast and what does it accomplish? Not a thing. Undertaker and Kane are monsters. We got that the first time, the second time, and ALL THE OTHER TIMES. On top of that, the matches that were given endings were boring, or it was the LOD match. This show was total overkill and had one idea running through the whole thing. If you don’t like that idea, there’s no point in you watching. That’s what got WCW in trouble but thankfully it wasn’t the case long term for WWF. Total misfire here though.

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Monday Night Raw – August 24, 1998: A DQ In The Cell

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 24, 1998
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 14,727
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Man it’s been awhile since I’ve done one of these hasn’t it? I kind of gor sidetracked by some newer Raws and Superstars plus that whole Wrestlemania thing but we’re back now. This is the go home show for Summerslam so expect a final push for Undertaker vs. Austin. That show wound up being awesome so hopefully this one is too. Tonight is also the end of Brawl For All, THANK GOODNESS. Let’s get to it.

Undertaker and Kane come in through a back door. Or maybe it’s a locker room.

Theme song.

It was a locker room.

Taker and Kane come out together to open the show. JR calls Undertaker Mankind for some reason. The Cell is above the ring. Before they say anything, Vince comes out and is all smiles. It’s his birthday according to JR. Then again according to him the 7ft guy in all black will debut a sock puppet one day. Vince: “Well, Undertaker and Kane have finally come out of the casket.” Vince McMahon: True Blood writer?

Vince says he told us all so and he tells us that twice. He says that Undertaker doesn’t need him since he has Kane by his side now. However, once Undertaker becomes champion, there will be a time when he need Vince for his mind. Before the night is over, Vince wants an answer to the question “Vince McMahon: friend or foe?” Paul Bearer comes out and asks Kane if it’s true or a nightmare.

He says he’s the one that’s always been there for Kane and asks Kane to destroy Undertaker for daddy. Taker jumps Bearer and Kane walks away. Mankind comes out for the save….and gets beaten down by both brothers without fighting back at all. Kane loads up the Tombstone and Taker goes up top to make it a SPIKE TOMBSTONE. Why didn’t they bust that bad boy out more often?

Vince says now only Austin remains between Taker and the title. Cue Austin to keep this segment going. He pops up on the stage and a wall of fire comes up. Austin (now with the Smoking Skull belt. Not sure if that had been seen before) says he knew they were together all along and that he doesn’t appreciate being set on fire. He can’t beat both of them at once so tonight, he’s taking one of them out.

Ken Shamrock vs. Dan Severn

Mankind has been taken out in an ambulance. This is a result of the triple threat last week where Severn choked Shamrock out post match. They both fight for the leg control to start but Severn rolls into the ropes by mistake. He comes back with a powerbomb but doesn’t cover. After a gordbuster a powerslam gets two…and Owen runs in for the DQ. He chokes Shamrock but Blackman runs in to clear that up. This feud just kept going and going. Too short to rate but it was certainly different. Shamrock snaps and suplexes Blackman post match. Then Blackman suplexes Shamrock.

Mankind is out of the ambulance and playing with the stretcher.

Summerslam Highway video. This is still awesome.

Post break Mankind surfs down the ramp on a stretcher. He gets in the ring and says it was cahoots all along. A good cub scout should always be prepared and his good cub scout leader Mr. McMahon said that Kane wasn’t good but Mankind didn’t listen. Tonight it’s Kane vs. Mankind in the Cell. He wants to know what kind of idiot would get back into the same match that almost killed him. Somehow he’s going to throw Kane off the cage or through it, onto 7000 thumbtacks.

We get some clips of the “last” Cell match which is between Taker and Foley. Even they’re already disowning the tag team one.

Here’s Sable to announce the next match.

Marc Mero vs. Kurrgan

Sable dances with the Oddities pre match. No Jackie this week. She’d be at Summerslam for a mixed tag though. Mero asks the Oddities to leave which they do willingly. Kurrgan overpowers him down and dances a bit. Mero goes for the knee until Kurrgan picks him up and hits what we would call a Punjabi Plunge. Jackie runs through the crowd and beats down Sable as Mero hits Kurrgan low for the DQ. This was pointless.

X-Pac relieves himself in someone’s boots.

Southern Justice vs. New Age Outlaws

Someone with a deep voice pops in on commentary. He sounds like he’s doing a Terry Funk impression. Oh it’s Hawk who is bombed still. Jarrett comes out before the match with something to say but his mic doesn’t work. He gets on the headset and reveals those were his boots. Canterbury and Gunn start things off with the Outlaws taking over. Off to Roadie for the dancing punches. Jeff challenges him to a match which was already announced. Off to Knight for a suplex as the match is being ignored. With the referee distracted, Gunn piledrives Knight for the pin. The match was just a backdrop for Jarrett’s ranting.

Jarrett gets annoyed at the cameraman for shooting his boots so Southern Justice holds him for a haircut.

Mankind vs. Kane

Inside the Cell. Kane comes out first so once he’s in the Cell, Mankind tries to climb the cage. He beats up the referee that tries to stop him which lets him ram the cage door on Kane’s head. They fight outside the Cell and Foley tries to throw a chair on top of the cage twice, one of this might have hit Lawler on the way down. He tries to climb up and Taker pops up from out of nowhere to pull him off and through the table. They haven’t been inside the Cell together yet.

Now Kane comes back around to beat Mankind up some more. Kane drags him towards the door and slams it on Mankind’s body which is on the ground. Ok NOW they’re inside the cage together. Kane throws the steps into the ring and beats him in the head with it as Taker watches. He manages a dive over the top to the floor to take out Mankind before trying to throw the steps on top of him from the ring.

Mankind manages to sneak under the ring and comes out with a chair plus the bag of tacks. The chair shot to Kane’s head gets a HUGE pop which suggests the popularity Foley could have as a face. Chokeslam attempt is countered by the Claw but they slug it out instead. Piledriver to Kane sends him into the tacks without much force, but it’s not played up as a huge deal. Mankind goes up but Kane clocks him with a chair.

Chokeslam puts Foley down and there’s the tombstone but Kane won’t cover. Taker sends him a throat slit sign so Kane picks up another chair. Foley gets up and a pair of chair shots to the head puts him down. Mankind gets up AGAIN but walks into a tombstone on the chair. Austin pops out from under the ring (that’s a Russo Special) and destroys Kane, resulting in probably the only DQ in the history of the Cell.

Rating: C+. This was more about the ending of the match than the match itself. The main idea here though was to basically turn Foley face through feeling bad about the horrible beating he took. It’s not a great match or anything but it pretty much did its job. They would lose the titles on Sunday anyway so Kane and Mankind could split in peace.

Taker tries to get in to stop the beating but Vince raises the Cell to prevent Austin vs. Taker from happening before Sunday.

Post break Taker calls Austin a coward for jumping Kane. He says that seals Austin’s fate and tonight, he’ll take his revenge because it’s personal.

Here’s Chyna who wants to call out Rock because of the beating HHH got from the Nation last week. Before she says anything Rock is here. The rest of the Nation comes out as well with a ladder. I think I remember this segment happening live. Rock gets on the bottom rung of the ladder and shows Chyna a shot of DX’s locker room with a forklift in front of it. Rock talks about going to Summerslam, climbing the People’s ladder rung by rung and taking his Intercontinental Title back.

As for Chyna, he sees her looking at him with those bedroom eyes. She’s a very frustrated woman and Rock can’t blame her at all for that. The one conclusion is that Chyna needs to get some. About 2am tonight, Rock can be the man to give it to her. She lunges at him but Brown and Owen make her stop. Rock says she looks natural on her knees and leans down to kiss her but says he doesn’t kiss trash like you. Mark Henry however can do it but Shawn Michaels runs out with a chair to the head of Henry to save Chyna.

Post break DX is out of the room and looking for DX in the parking lot.

Val Venis vs. Taka Michnoku

This is technically a rematch from last week where Val ran the gauntlet but lost to Taka in the final match. Taka takes him down with a spinwheel kick but Val shrugs it off. Shawn is on commentary now but won’t tell us much his relationship with DX. Val powerbombs him and hits the Money Shot but HHH comes in with a chair shot to break it up.

HHH is MAD and says at Summerslam, Rocky belong to him. He was a bit more colorful than that but you get the idea.

We get an extended edition of the Austin vs. Taker video.

X-Pac vs. Gangrel

Gangrel jumps him to start but Pac comes back with a spinning kick. Powerslam gets two for Gangrel and a powerbomb puts Pac down. A Swan Dive misses and Edge is watching. Pac comes back and hits the Bronco Buster but here’s Jarrett with a guitar shot for the DQ.

After DX gets X-Pac out of the ring, Edge runs in and beats down Gangrel.

Undertaker has a casket.

Brawl For All Finals: Bradshaw vs. Bart Gunn

THANK GOODNESS it ends here. I couldn’t take much more of this. We get a recap of this for some reason. Bart knocks him down in about ten seconds and the knockout is complete at 42 seconds. Dang I was hoping to get some reading in during this thing. Bart gets 75 grand and Bradshaw gets 25 grand, as this becomes one of the biggest jokes in company history. Bart didn’t get pushed AT ALL after this, other than forgettable and short feuds with Steve Williams and Hardcore Holly. No title shots, no big angles, no MMA gimmick change, nothing. We wasted six weeks on NOTHING.

Vince says he’ll get his answer tonight. You can hear stage directors saying to get the casket ready.

The lights go blue and the druids start chanting as some guy in a white jacket goes up the ramp for some reason. The druids brings out a casket and Undertaker follows with his new demonic music. Taker says Kane has his own business at Summerslam but for tonight, Taker wants Austin. Here’s Vince instead who asks friend or foe. He extends his hand and is promptly chokeslammed.

Austin pops out of the casket and talks trash to Vince. Now Kane pops out of the casket and beats up Austin while Undertaker watches. Austin gets to the floor and grabs a chair but walks away instead of fighting a losing battle. See, that’s how you have a smart but still tough face. In a cool visual, flames comes up (slowly) down the middle of the ramp, making it look like the dividing line on a highway, to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a hard one to grade. They certainly did a good job of pushing Summerslam as I think every match got at least a mention other than Brown vs. Venis (which for some reason would last fifteen minutes). However the main event stuff felt like a month of stories in one night. Tonight alone we had: Vince telling Undertaker to pick, Austin attacking Kane in the Cell, Austin and Kane in the casket, Undertaker and Kane officially uniting, Paul Bearer pleading with Kane, and probably some other stuff I’m forgetting. All of that in ONE SHOW. It was a bit too much for me, but the PPV makes up for it.

Here’s Summerslam if you’re interested:

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Superstars of Wrestling – February 3, 1990: Drinking The Devil’s Armpit Sweat

Superstars of Wrestling
Date: February 3, 1990
Location: Jefferson Civic Center, Birmingham, Alabama
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura, Alfred Hayes, Tony Schiavone

Ok I promise this is the last Superstars for awhile as even I’m sick of watching it at this point. I wasn’t going to do another one but this is from my birthday so I have to do it. We’re past the Rumble and coming up on Wrestlemania with Warrior challenging Hulk for the title. Other than that it’s too early to know much about it and that match hasn’t been announced yet. Let’s get to it.

Theme song opens us up. It’s nice to see some fresh faces in there.

Roberts vs. DiBiase today, which should be a good one.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Tony Burton

For some reason after Vince and Jesse introduce the show, Tony and Alfred take over on commentary. After Sapphire “dances” to get on my nerves, Dusty pounds away to take over. Hayes talks about all the time that Dusty must spend in the gym. That’s British humor right? Big elbow ends this quick.

Gene talks about how awesome the Rumble was and we see part of Beefcake vs. Genius. Oh this is the post match beating from Perfect.

Perfect says Beefcake’s ribs know not to mess with Perfect.

Beefcake says that was overboard.

Rick Martel vs. Reno Riggins

Martel dropkicks him down and is much more aggressive than I’m used to seeing him. A backbreaker sets up the Boston Crab, which Martel says is for Beefcake.

Jim Duggan vs. Mike Davis

Duggan hits a lot of clotheslines as the announcers talk about about grammar. Davis pulls Duggan to the floor and that doesn’t go well for him. Back in and a slam sets up the Three Point Clothesline.

Jake Roberts vs. Ted DiBiase

Jake stole the belt but never beat DiBiase for it. Ted jumps him immediately and ties him in the ropes for a beating. Jake comes back with a hip toss and tries the DDT but Ted bails. Slick is at ringside with DiBiase for some unknown reason. Jake rams him into the corner and escapes a piledriver with a backdrop. Another DDT attempt is countered as is the third try. DiBiase bails to the floor and whispers something to Slick, who leaves. They brawl to the floor and Bossman pops up to hit Jake with the nightstick for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Not much here but they only had about three minutes to work with, making it understandable that it could only be so good. This would result in a big face turn for Bossman, which was necessary because he was wrestling a style that was going to get cheered eventually. It also set up Wrestlemania.

Actually the face turn is right now. Bossman handcuffs Jake to the ropes and steals Jake’s bag which has the snake and presumably the belt in it. They go to the Brother Love Show where DiBiase says he bought and paid for the belt. DiBiase brags about getting the belt back, but slips up and says he bought the services of Bossman via Slick.

Bossman doesn’t like that at all because he’s not for hire. He was going out to retrieve stolen property, not be a hired gun. DiBiase says give him the belt but Bossman says no one tells him what to do. Ted says Bossman is scared, so Bossman gets in his face and pulls the belt out of the bag. If DiBiase wants it, he can earn it back. So Bossman is aiding in a theft now. He walks back to the ring and uncuffs Jake before handing him the belt.

Canadian Earthquake vs. Mike Justice

Is he related to Sid? That’s the same as the regular Earthquake but at first he was Canadian Earthquake for some reason. Quake knocks him all over the place and drops an elbow before hitting the Earthquake for the pin.

Another Earthquake hits post match and Davis is taken out on a stretcher.

Hogan says he has to know if his power is greater than the Warrior’s. He wants to tie Warrior up and clean his face. You do that Hulk. He issues a challenge to Warrior and swears by the #1 Hulkamaniac “up there”, that if he loses to someone who, and I’m quoting here, “races his Harley next to the devil himself and drinks the sweat from the devil’s armpit”, he’ll striker Warrior down. Your childhood hero ladies and gentlemen.

Warrior accepts….I think.

Powers of Pain vs. Chris Walker/Butch Stanley

Barbarian starts with Stanley and it’s off to Warlord to pick the meat of whatever Barbarian left. Barbarian comes back in and kicks Walker’s head off and what you could call a top rope Hart Attack ends the massacre.

Piper is ready for his cage match with Rude in a week.

Savage rants about Dusty.

The Powers of Pain are ready for Demolition.

Demolition is ready for the Powers of Pain.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling wasn’t great, but we got a big face turn and the beginning of the Ultimate Challenge, so this show has to be worth something. It was nice to see something other than the same guys from 86 all over again too. The squashes get old quickly, but these were fast enough to keep it from being boring.

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No Way Out 2001: Austin’s Best Match Ever? Maybe.

No Way Out 2001
Date: February 25, 2001
Location: Thomas & Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 15, 223
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is a more or less forgotten show in WWF history which is a shame because it really is a good one. The problem it has is that it’s stuck between a great Rumble and the best PPV of all time. This is most certainly a two match show as there are only two that I remember at all and only two that mean anything. The first is Angle vs. Rock for the title, and I think you know how that’s going to go.

The other match, and the reason I get this requested a lot, is why this show is so popular. It’s Austin vs. HHH in a 2 out of three falls match. The first is a regular match, the second is a street fight and the third is a cage match. This is Austin’s first major one on one match since his neck surgery so we’re really seeing if he’s back. HHH is the guy that was behind his attack so this is a huge revenge match. It’s been called the best match of Austin’s career and there may be something to that. That would include the I Quit match, so let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the two matches. At least they’re not pretending to be something they’re not here.

Hardcore Title: Big Show vs. Raven

Raven has the belt and the better music here. He brings his own weapons as was his custom. Raven’s ninja (Tori, a girl, in a black suit) jumps Show on the ramp and it goes nowhere as you would expect. Show is in his one piece women’s swimsuit here and I still hate it. Show misses a splash against the post and is rocked.

Raven jumps on his back which works about as well as every diet Show goes on. The required fire extinguisher is used by the bird man. Ross suggests a blunt object to the head. And now a popcorn vendor is jumping Raven. He looks like Elroy Jetson and Show more or less kills him (It’s Crash). Show beats up Raven and Blackman and Holly come out to beat up Show.

Billy Gunn slips in from behind and messes up a Fameasser on Raven to steal the title. Naturally he sticks around instead of RUNNING, resulting in taking a Sidewinder, which is his old finishing move in the Smoking Guns. Show clears the ring and Raven steals the title back. Crash gets two but a chokeslam onto a trashcan gets the title. Oh and Molly and the Ninja came down and fought too. Show beats Billy up as he leaves for fun.

Rating: C. This wasn’t supposed to be serious and it wasn’t. This was just a fun little match and sequence that was designed to make things comedic. Show vs. Kane vs. Raven would be the Hardcore Title match at Mania and was far better, but it’s a different kind of match. This was fine though.

Angle gets here and is still a happy go lucky jerk who can be awesome in the ring.

Benoit and Eddie are with Lillian. They say only the title matters tonight.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. X-Pac vs. Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit

Jericho took the title from Benoit at the Rumble. He also put Pac out with an injury as well as Eddie. So there are your reasons for people to be in there. The Radicalz jump the ring and it’s immediately on. Pac vs. Benoit and Eddie vs. Jericho to start. One fall to a finish here. Everybody gets in the ring and it’s a big slugout.

Benoit and Eddie team up but Benoit tries to steal the win with the Crossface on X-Pac. Jericho takes forever to break it up but just makes it. Frog Splash to Pac for two. Bronco Buster on Benoit doesn’t hit as Jericho kicks his head off. The Radicalz slug it out to a big reaction. Benoit covers Eddie and Jericho covers Pac but both get two.

We get down to Benoit and Jericho for a bit which is probably the most entertaining combination here. Liontamer goes on but Eddie comes in for the save. He winds up in them instead. Ok make that Pac is in them. Justin Credible of all people runs out for the save and Benoit hits a Dragon Suplex for two. Pac and Credible beat up Benoit with a double superkick.

Lionsault gets two on Eddie as Pac gets a low blow and X Factor on Jericho. Very fast paced and exciting stuff here. Crossface on Pac but Eddie with a SWEET running front flip neckbreaker to break it up. Swan Dive to Eddie’s arm and then Benoit gets his head kicked off by Pac. Jericho slides in from nowhere and steals the pin to retain on X-Pac. Sweet match.

Rating: B+. This was great stuff as everyone was flying all over the place and stealing covers and breaking up pins. Jericho coming in to steal the pin made sense as he was probably the most impressive guy out there. It was a great match which was high impact and incredibly fast paced. The guys got to show off and it worked like a charm. Very good match.

HHH is getting taped up for the match.

Regal is with Vince who tells him to do the right thing in the Stephanie vs. Trish match. He has no idea what that is.

We recap Trish vs. Stephanie. This is in the middle of the Vince wants a divorce and Linda is in a sanitarium and Trish is screwing Vince and Stephanie hates Trish and wants to be the top girl in the company angle. I can’t stand those simple and basic angles that are a dime a dozen.

Busta Rhymes is at WWF New York, as is Test. He wants the girls to beat each other to death.

Regal tries to talk to Trish but she has someone to slap.

Stephanie looks AWESOME in her outfit here.

Ad for WWF the Music Volume 5. Wow that sounds forever ago.

Trish Stratus vs. Stephanie McMahon

Trish is curvy with a gorgeous face at this point. She has no talent as far as we know in the ring so Stephanie is probably the ring general in this match. She has the awesome old school HHH music though so I can’t complain. It’s nice to see one of the girls in a t-shirt though instead of their traditional stuff. Spear and a slap fight start us off.

We’re in the crowd in like a minute as this is a big fight. Stephanie dives off the barricade with a big punch to the chest. Granted it’s hard to miss so there we are. Bulldog by Trish but it means nothing yet so it only gets two. They do the smart thing here and don’t try to make this into a wrestling match, opting instead for a fight. Water gets involved, making Lawler freak out.

Trish with wet hair and a wet chest: win. A powerbomb from Stephanie gets two and down come Trish’s shorts for a spanking. Trish in a thong wins also. The girls both go down (lucky) as does the referee. Cue Regal, who puts Trish on top (works for me) but then saves Stephanie from getting pinned since he doesn’t know what the right thing is. Trish slaps him so he takes her down with a neckbreaker for the pin.

Rating: B-. This is considering who was in there and the level of their talent. It’s no classic, but considering who was in there, this was AWESOME. They didn’t bother trying to have a match and just beat each other up, which was without a doubt the right way to go. Trish would of course get FAR better, but this was pretty good considering what they had to work with. Regal saving us from the attempt at a finishing sequence was a nice break too.

Vince is mad at Regal for what he just did. Vince/Stephanie vs. Trish/Vince tomorrow, which I think led to the Vince’s Club.

Ad for Mania, which is made of awesome. If you cut it’s arm off and looked down at it, the part that has blood it in would say AWESOME.

We recap HHH vs. Austin, if you need it. In short, HHH paid off Rikishi to run over Austin so he had to take a year off. They hate each other in general also if they need any additional reasons. Like I said, I doubt you need an explanation on this one. If you do, why are you reading this? There was a very clever thing done by HHH: After they signed the contract, Vince had said if they touched each other before No Way Out, Austin would lose his title shot at Mania and HHH would be suspended for six months. Austin signed and HHH blasted him. Vince said what are you doing? HHH only signed the first H. Austin beat up Stephanie and HHH beat up JR the previous week.

Cole, with his stupid blonde highlights, gets a blank stare from Austin.

Steve Austin vs. HHH

First is a regular match, second is street fight, third is cage. MASSIVE pop for Austin, but the crowd has been white hot all night. I’m surprised that this is in the middle of the card but you know it’s going to get some time. Maybe they want to do this so the crowd isn’t spent at the end? Naturally it’s a slugfest to start. Mudhole is stomped 30 seconds in. Big old AUSTIN chant as he dominates early on.

Modified hot shot to take down Austin though as this is fast paced for the most part. Pedigree is blocked into a DDT on the arm which I need to learn the name of. We head to the floor as Austin works the arm. This is a regular match but Austin ramming HHH’s arm into a post about 6 times is perfectly fine? HHH can’t do the Pedigree because of his arm, which is SELLING! Simply shaking your arm is passable, but having it prevent you from doing your moves is SELLING.

Thesz Press and Austin is dominant so far. HHH gets his foot up when Austin is coming off the ropes, but for once Austin actually has his arms up to look like he’s doing a move. I hate when people just jump into it for the sake of jumping into it. Neckbreaker takes HHH down but it doesn’t do much due to the weak arm.

HHH goes after the knee which is Austin’s weak point as well. He goes for the leg into the post thing but Austin counters and HHH and the nose of doom hit the post. Back to the knee as HHH takes over with a figure four. Austin gets out and does a nice move where he gets HHH n the mat and beats on him with his leg. Cooler than it sounds. Thesz Press and the elbow get two.

Everyone counters everything and we slug it out. HHH gets a kick to the knee and goes to the middle rope. He jumps into the boot though and Austin hits the Stunner for the completely clean pinfall.

No rest period between falls and we’re right back at it again. It’s a street fight now and we hit the floor. Austin’s knee is ok I guess as he hits some suplexes on the floor. Monitor connects with HHH’s head and apparently it’s broken. Naturally we head into the crowd and it’s all Austin. Back in the ring and Austin destroys HHH Rock-Style with a chair.

After nearly murdering HHH we head back to the floor where Austin finds a 2×4 wrapped in barbed wire for no apparent reason. A low blows allows HHH to blast him in the face with it though and Austin is bleeding. HHH sets for the Pedigree on the table but Austin counters and sends him through the other table which EXPLODES. Awesome stuff so far if you can’t tell.

Back in the ring a bell shot (Austin brought it in earlier) gets two for HHH. This is a war with both guys hitting all these big shots out of desperation. Back to the neck with a neckbreaker onto the chair for two. Backdrop by Austin sends HHH free falling over the top. Cool looking drop. More weapons stuff on the floor but the intensity and selling is making it work.

You can barely hear Lawler here as his mic is messed up or something. HHH finds a sledgehammer and Lawler accuses JR for putting it there. Back in the ring again and a Stunner is blocked by a sledgehammer shot to Austin’s head. Pedigree follows that and thankfully that ties us up at 1-1. I would have rolled my eyes very heavily if Austin had kicked out of that.

The cage is lowered as we get a quick break. It’s been about 30 minutes so far and nothing but awesome. Austin is more or less dead and eats the cage again. HHH gets the barbed wire 2×4 and rips Austin’s face open a bit more with it. The sledgehammer and at least one chair are also in there with them. Make that two chairs, one of which saves Austin as he blasts HHH in the head with it.

HHH gets it in the face (I would have thought that would have been Stephanie but whatever) for a long time but gets a DDT out of desperation onto the chair but it only gets two. The crowd is a bit silent but it’s pretty clear that the fans know nothing is going to end without something huge. Austin comes back and goes OFF on HHH who just collapses face first out of the corner.

Game tries to bale but he Austin makes two saves, culminating with an old school slam off the top rope. Stunner is blocked but the Pedigree hits for TWO. The place erupts on the kickout and HHH is shocked. Another is blocked and HHH gets hit with a slingshot into the cage. Stunner hits and both guys are out. After the break Austin covers for two as this is awesome. HHH gets the hammer and Austin gets the 2×4. Both swing with everything they’ve got and connect, but HHH falls on Austin for the pin. I think I need a cigarette.

Rating: A+. Without question, this is awesome. Any of the three falls is great to say the least and the ending was perfect. Both guys are protected but not in a way that makes it look like they’re being protected. HHH got lucky and won it, as Lawler says that it’s not fair to say either guy really won. Just an absolute WAR with these two beating the living tar out of each other and making the crowd love every minute of it. With 40 minutes of these two beating each other to death, how is it not a perfect match?

Austin stuns HHH afterwards for fun.

On Smackdown, the RTC tried to beat up Kat so Lawler made the save, setting up a match tonight.

Stevie gives the RTC a pep talk.

Kat has a shirt on and nothing else. She wanted to be allowed to wear less than that on TV.

Jerry Lawler vs. Steven Richards

Tazz does commentary in Lawler’s place. He’s still a wrestler so this is a new thing for him. He’s a bit like his normal commentating self but not all the way yet. Lawler makes a full entrance despite being at the commentary desk not 2 minutes ago. We see a clip of the RTC stopping the (XFL’s) Las Vegas Outlaws cheerleaders last night. RTC was a parody of the Parents Television Council who got on Vince every 9 seconds for something he did.

This is the walking definition of a catch your breath match as the fans need something worthless to bridge the gap from the war they just saw to the last two matches. Lawler expands his offense from just punches by adding in rapid fire punches. This is why it’s great to have someone like Lawler around: you can throw him in there for something like this and you know he’s going to at least be passable, especially since he only wrestles like twice a year so his expectations are very low.

Kat and Ivory go at it for a bit but the distraction allows Richards to take over. Richards misses a splash in the corner and Lawler takes over for a bit. Apparently if he wins Kat gets to be naked. Ivory comes in and Teddy Long takes FOREVER to get rid of her. Kat tries to hit Richards with Ivory’s belt but she nails Lawler by mistake for the pin. Kat has to join RTC now, but she was released in like two weeks, resulting in Lawler quitting. They were married at the time.

Rating: D. This was pretty weak but at the same time it was about as good as it was going to get. It was on the level of a pretty bad TV match but like I said this was designed to just fill in about 10 minutes so that the fans could breathe a bit. Nothing special at all but it did its job I guess.

We recap the tag title stuff which is another three way feud. Edge and Christian gave Kane a Conchairto on Monday night.

Taker says a lot of basic stuff.

Chyna’s book is popular. Random to say the least.

Tag Titles: Undertaker/Kane vs. Edge/Christian vs. Dudley Boyz

This is a tables match but not elimination style. Uh sure. The Brothers go after Edge and Christian in the aisle but stop when the Dudleys come out and corner them. Dudleys are champions here. The Canadians hide and it’s on early. It’s a massive brawl of course. Tazz is still on commentary here. The table HHH went through is still just in pieces on the floor which is funny for some reason as it always is.

The Dudleys are down and the Brothers beat up the Canadians. The champs make the save from a double powerbomb but Bubba slips on a chair and falls on his back. For the first time we get in the ring and Bubba gets his crotch stepped on. What’s up to Edge makes up for that though. This is just a big mess of course but it’s fun. Taker and Kane stop the getting of tables and Christian hits Unprettier on Bubba in the ring.

Stereo powerslams by the big men and then they both go up. Taker goes airborne which isn’t something you see that often really. We get some near endings but a bunch of saves are made including a low blow to Taker. A pair of chokeslams hit but there aren’t any tables. The Dudleys get chokeslammed too and the Brothers stand very tall.

They set for stereo powerbombs but Rikishi and Haku waddle down to stop it and brawl with the monsters. Have we ever had a generation without an evil Samoan team? For some reason Vince thought these Samoans would be a good choice for a team, even though Haku wasn’t Samoan. The monsters all go up the ramp to tick off the crowd. 3D on Christian ends it.

Rating: C+. Just a fun match here but somehow this was supposed to set up monsters vs. monsters, even though the ethnic monsters were gone very soon. This wasn’t much but it definitely wasn’t bad. The constant double teaming got pretty stupid after awhile but it wasn’t horrible. Passable match for what it was, but with TLC 2 next month, it’s hard to stay underwhelmed.

We recap Rock vs. Angle. Rock beat Big Show to get the shot. That’s it. Rock says tick tock a lot also.

Rock says the same stuff we heard in the video package.

WWF Title: The Rock vs. Kurt Angle

It’s pretty much one sided as to who is going to win here and even Ross and Tazz acknowledge it. Long staredown to start and we’re on. The straps are down before we even start as we hear about him using some hold called an ankle lock. Rock hits a jumping Russian leg sweep for two. Ankle lock goes on about a minute in but Rock makes the ropes. These two always have had good chemistry together so this should be solid stuff.

A pair of belly to bellies but Rock almost gets dropped on his head the first time. He clearly tucks his head more on the second one so at least he can learn on the fly. Sharpshooter goes on and Angle is in trouble. This is very fast paced so far. A belly to back suplex from Kurt but he didn’t spin slightly so it’s not the Angle Slam. Second rope suplex gets two for Rock.

I’m not sure if I like Rock’s DDT or not. He does it oddly for some reason. And here’s Big Show for no apparent reason. Chokeslams for everyone including the referee. Show’s music plays him out as I expect us to cut to a commercial or something. Angle covers Rock but there’s no referee. He pops Angle with the title as there’s another referee. What a heelish thing to do but Angle gets up anyway.

Ankle lock out of nowhere and Angle drops some nice cursing in there. Rock gets the counter and initiates his ending sequence. The elbow gets two to a huge reaction as everyone thought it was over. Rock Bottom is blocked and there’s the Olympic Slam for two and a freaking ROAR. Rock starts his punches but Angle kicks him in the ankle in a nice counter.

Angle gets rammed into the buckle chest first and walks into the Rock Bottom for….two? Angle did not move at all and the announcers sound very confused. The referee seemingly just stopped counting instead of doing the three. Either that was a botch or there’s something I’m missing here. The fans boo the heck out of it as Rock picks him up and hits another Rock Bottom for the clean pin. That had to be a botch on the first one.

Rating: B. Solid match here, but the Big Show thing was just totally pointless. The ending was just weird though as that had to be a botch though as it just made no sense at all. These two always worked well together and this was no exception. Solid match and definitely worthy of a main event on a PPV.

Overall Rating: A. This was an AWESOME show with two great matches and only one that wasn’t much, which was 5 minutes long. This was one of the best periods for the company and you can see why right here. They know they’re on top of the world and all roads lead to Houston and Wrestlemania, which is the undisputed crowning moment for the company. Great show and highly worth checking out from top to bottom.

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Superstars of Wrestling – October 4, 1986: Weakest Show Yet

Superstars of Wrestling
Date: October 4, 1986
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 7000
Commentators: Bruno Sammartino, Jesse Ventura, Vince McMahon

Back with the last episode of this series that I have at the moment, although that’s likely to change. With Superstars there isn’t much you can predict as far as matches, but I would expect something more from Piper vs. Adonis which is the top angle on the show at the moment. There’s also supposed to be an interview with Hogan which should be good. Let’s get to it.

Intro and whatnot.

Randy Barber vs. Koko B. Ware

An inset promo from Koko tells us that his bird is named Frankie. Jesse wants a jump off between Koko and Brunzell. Koko throws him around for awhile and hits some dropkicks and a neckbreaker before the Ghostbuster (brainbuster) gets the pin.

Video of Hillbilly Jim singing a song I believe at the reception for Uncle Elmer’s wedding.

Sika vs. Mario Mancini

I’ve heard of Mancini I think. Sika chops him down and chokes to start and we get a chinlock in a squash match. I don’t recall seeing that before. They go to the floor for a bit and back inside the Samoan Drop finishes this.

Tito is ready for his match with Race tonight in Boston. Why does Race wear that ovrcoat when it’s hot out?

Ron Shaw vs. Honky Tonk Man

This is Honky’s TV debut. Vince actually calls him Wayne Ferris. Honky is in suspenders stil here. Mr. Fuji doesn’t wank Honky’s greasy hands on his tuxedo. Honky works on the arm to start but Shaw gets in a thumb to the eye. Honky rams him into the buckle but Shaw comes back. He beats on Honky for a bit until Honky slams him down and the middle rope fist (which isn’t like his cousin AT ALL right?) gets the pin. Honky was light years better as a heel.

Savage says he’ll go to a different galazy tonight and says the gimmick is No DQ. Holy cocaine promo Batman.

Paul Orndorff vs. Dan Haskins

The stolen music continues. Orndorff says the music is his now and not Hogan’s anymore. Paul gives him a clean break to start but the second time he hits him in the ribs. Out to the floor for a slam as Heenan praises things on. Clothesline, piledriver, see ya.

We see Piper, in his trunks for some reason, in the back yelling while on a crutch and holding a ball bat. He goes psycho and DESTROYS the Flower Shop with the bat, falling over from swinging so far.

Dan McGuire vs. Randy Savage

Billy Graham wants the Intercontinental Championship Belt “of the entire universe”. Savage sends him to the floor and rams him into the barricade with an ax handle off the top. Slam and elbow finish this quick.

Jesse talks to Hogan who is wearing a Harley-Davidson bandana. Hulk doesn’t think much of Orndorff and doesn’t think he’s a real American. There’s a birther joke in there somewhere.

Moondogs vs. Killer Bees

Blair and Rex start us off and Vince calls a clothesline a necktie for some reason. Both Moondogs get slammed and it’s off to Spot vs. Brunzell. Brunzell gets in trouble for a good ten seconds before hitting his dropkick and an enziguri and tagging Blair back in. Blair cleans house and Rex hits Spot so Blair can pin him. The Moondogs argue post match.

The Machines say everything they’ve been saying for the last few weeks.

Overall Rating: D+. This was pretty boring here with nothing interesting on the whole show. The Piper scene was cool, if nothing else because of his swearing, but as a whole this was one of the weaker shows I can remember in a long time. The problem is nothing really happened until January so this was kind of a weak time. Bad show for the most part.

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