Monday Night Raw
Date: August 17, 1998
Location: Veterans’ Coliseum, Des Moines, Iowa
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Another week here and we’ve now got two more shows counting this one before Summerslam. That means another gimmick needs to be added to one of the matches. After last week there’s another conspiracy going around about Taker and Kane which I’m sure will be pounded into our heads all night. Let’s get to it.

We open with Vince trying to kick open Vince’s door, shouting that he has 15 seconds to get to the ring.

Theme song opens us up.

We open up with Highway to Hell playing and a hearse backs into the arena. Oh I remember this one. Austin is driving the car and there’s a casket in the back. He pops it open and there’s beer in it. That makes me smile. Austin says he has 23 more beers and has no problem holding things up until Vince gets here. Instead he gets Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco. Slaughter comes out too, as the jackass behind curtain #3 according to Austin.

Vince comes out and Austin says hurry up because you’re starting to tick me off. Austin says Vince must be happy about Austin and Taker losing the titles, but it means they’re not tied together anymore. Vince has said that Austin has a foot in the grave. Tonight, that foot is going up inside Vince to give him a preview of Summerslam. Taker goes in the hearse tonight.

Ken Shamrock vs. Owen Hart vs. Dan Severn

Shamrock gets Owen at the PPV and Severn is kind of in there on the side. Lawler promises a statement from the White House tonight. Severn heads to the floor to start as the others pound on each other. The Nation is thrown out. We get a loud nugget chant as Owen controls with a legdrop. Owen rams shoulders in the corner and Severn hasn’t done a thing yet.

Enziguri puts Shamrock down for no cover. Shamrock comes back with a hurricanrana and a belly to belly for two as Severn breaks it up. That’s it for Severn at the moment as Owen takes over with a suplex on Ken. Ankle lock to Owen but Severn hooks a dragon sleeper on Shamrock. The match is stopped without a tap and Severn wins.

Rating: D. Pretty boring match here as Severn was using strategy but that doesn’t mean it’s interesting. He never was cut out for pro wrestling as he didn’t have the charisma to make it work. He was NWA World Champion at this point I believe, which probably explains why you never hear about that title anymore.

He won’t let go of the hold so Blackman comes out to get left laying also. Owen and Severn have joined forces it seems.

Ad for WWF War Zone. Smackdown vs. Raw it’s not.

Brawl For All Semi-Finals: Godfather vs. Bart Gunn

A Bill Clinton impersonator calls in making Monica Lewinsky jokes. Godfather says he’s not even offering the ho’s tonight. Bart dominates and wins by knockout in the third round.

Blackman and Shamrock break stuff in the back.

As we go to a break, we hear Jerry talking to Vince about how he was supposed to get a line in. Nice job guys.

Dan Severn is coaching Owen for his Lion’s Den match. They’ve left for the night.

Brian Christopher vs. Gangrel

This is Gangrel’s Raw debut. He won last night on Heat with an Impaler. Edge is chilling in the crowd watching Gangrel. Brian jumps him to start and hits a middle rope bulldog to take over. Gangrel hits a tiger driver and the Impaler to end this quick.

Shamrock and Blackman say they’ll break Owen and Severn. Did we really need to spend this much time on these four tonight?

DX and the Nation brawls in the back.

Disciples of Apocalypse vs. Farrooq/Scorpio

Clinton is on the phone again for this. Farrooq and let’s say 8-Ball start things off and Farrooq hits a middle rope clothesline for two. Off to Scorpio and Skull with the stronger guy taking over. DX and the Nation are still fighting in the back. Scorpio comes back with Trouble in Paradise and makes the tag to Farrooq. DX and the Nation brawls into the arena as Scorpio hits the 450. There’s no referee though and it’s Twin Magic resulting in a small package win for DOA.

Rating: D+. The match was a mess but this was about setting up the DX vs. Nation brawl. They have a street fight scheduled for later on but I have a feeling that match isn’t actually going to happen. Scorpio was a guy I always liked but the Disciples were so boring and so generic and you saw them so many times they they didn’t interest anyone.

D-Generation X vs. Nation of Domination

This is a street fight and they actually have their intros. There are only three Nation members because Godfather is still shaken up. This in no way resembles a wrestling match so I’m not really going to call it one. Rock takes over for his team with a cookie sheet. He manages to hit the People’s Elbow on Roadie but Billy saves the pin.

Billy piledrives I think Rock on something metal and here’s Jeff Jarrett of all people to fight X-Pac. Southern Justice comes out and it’s a huge brawl. Jarrett cuts X-Pac’s hair as HHH takes a Rock Bottom. A ladder is brought in and HHH gets destroyed with it even worse. He gets left under the ladder and the Nation leaves.

Rating: C. You can’t really give this a grade so I’ll put it right in the middle. The match was fun for the most part but these wild brawls with people coming out for no apparent reason like Jarrett would get old in a hurry. They’re still better than the NWO endings on Nitro though. The feud would end soon.

Here are Tiger Ali Singh and Babu. Oh it’s Abu now. Ok then. We get a clip of Abu training earlier today. He’s still in the sweaty clothes that he wore earlier so whoever comes in here and licks his unwashed feet gets $500. The guy does it with no reluctance at all and gets paid.

Here are Sable and Jackie for an arm wrestling contest. If you’ve seen one of these, you’ve seen them all. Jackie shoves the table over and hurts Sable’s ribs. She takes a trophy that Sable brought with her and knocks Sable out until the Oddities make the save.

Val says he’ll run the Kai En Tai gauntlet to get five minutes with Yamaguchi-San.

Droz’s World is about his tattoos.

Brawl For All Semi-Finals: Darren Drozdov vs. Bradshaw

Bradshaw wins a decision to face Gunn next week.

Video on Al Snow and we see him at a bar. Head is drunk apparently so Snow takes the keys.

Sable is coming back out here.

Dustin says don’t be bad.

Here’s Sable who wants to fight Jackie right now. Jackie says no but we’ll have a mixed tag. Luna and the Oddities jump Jackie.

Val Venis vs. Kai En Tai

This is a gauntlet match. If Val can beat all four in a row, he gets five minutes with Yamaguchi-San. Men’s Teiyoh is first and Val is rolled up for two. Val comes back with some clotheslines and a fisherman’s suplex for a pin. Here’s Funaki who is powerslammed and pinned in about 5 seconds. Togo is third and Clinton is back on the phone. A powerbomb gets two for Venis and Clinton is gone. Val hits some knees to the ribs and a tilt-a-whirl slam. A powerbomb (good one too) sets up the Money Shot to get him to Taka, the last man.

The idea is that Val is getting tired despite having wrestled about five minutes. Taka has better luck, knocking Val to the floor and hitting that corner dive of his. Val comes back with the size and power advantage including a butterfly suplex for two. Taka can’t Michinoku Drive him so Val slams him down but misses the elbow. The Michinoku Driver ends this clean.

Rating: D+. The match was pretty boring, but what was the point in Val losing here? I mean, why make him go through three of them and then lose to the fourth? Not a very good match but it’s cool to see Taka hit that dive most of the time. I think this ends this feud if nothing else.

Mrs. Yamaguchi-San comes down to slap Val so Val sprays them with some white stuff from a pink cannon. Yeah that’s how funny they were in the 90s.

Here’s Undertaker to close the show. He has the high collar on and you can’t see his face. Austin has called him out all night so here’s the champ. Kane’s pyro goes off and yep it’s Kane. Kane beats on Austin for awhile but Austin takes over and clotheslines him to the floor. They fight up the hearse and Austin throws Kane inside. He goes to drive it off but Undertaker is in the driver’s seat. Highway To Hell plays and Taker drives it off to end the show. JR freaks out because Kane and Undertaker are leaving together, because that’s the only possible ending this could have had right?

Overall Rating: C-. This show went by very fast. It’s not a very good show but it’s not bad either. They pushed the HHH vs. Rock match and the main event really strong, but other than that it felt all over the place. I mean, did we really need that much on Shamrock vs. Owen or Jackie vs. Sable? Not a bad show but they need to get to Summerslam.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: August 10, 1998
Location: Omaha Civic Auditorium, Omaha, Nebraska
Attendance: 7,601
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Back to 1998 as my trip into all the short shows is done. We’re getting very close to Summerslam at this point with I believe three weeks to go. The main event tonight is a four way for the tag titles with Kane/Mankind defending against a bunch of people. Other than that we have the other Brawl For All Quarter-Finals. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Mankind to open the show. He says he’s tired of being lied to and deceived. He wants the truth and only one person has ever given him that: Vince McMahon. Mankind sits and waits for Vince to get here and pulls his hair out to pass the time. Vince finally gets here and Mankind says he needs his help.

Vince says this must be humiliating for Mankind and that he detests people that need help. The truth hurts, like when Kane was swinging for Mankind last week. Undertaker hit him with a chair too. Vince is calling him Mick now. Last night Undertaker disguised himself as Kane but it might as well have been Kane himself. The brothers are in collusion against everyone in the WWF. They’re one in the same you see.

Cue Kane and Bearer with Paul yelling at Vince, saying that Vince is the real manipulator of the WWF. Vince isn’t going to get into his mind or Kane’s mind either. Vince: “Are you done venting your spleen?” Vince says that that’s Undertaker under the Kane mask and demands it be removed. There go the lights but when they come back on Taker is in the ring in his regular gear and there’s no Kane. Taker grabs Vince by the throat but Mankind saves Vince.

Val Venis and John Wayne Bobbitt are having a joint press conference tonight.

Undertaker goes into his locker room and Kane can be seen inside.

Cue Sable to introduce Luna and the Oddities. Kurrgan dancing is still funny.

Luna vs. Jacqueline

Luna slams Jackie into the mat to start and Sable takes Mero down on the floor. Kurrgan glares Mero down when he comes after Sable and the match grinds to a halt. Jackie goes up top but gets crotched. A neckbreaker puts Jackie down and Luna goes up for a splash. Her hip kind of almost hits Jackie’s face but it gets the pin anyway. What a mess.

Highway to Hell Summerslam video. This is still awesome, even with Jerry talking to the director over it.

DX arrives. Oh wait it’s just the Outlaws.

Brawl For All Quarter-Finals: Savio Vega vs. Darren Drozdov

Droz is replacing Hawk who he injured. I’m not even going to waste my time with this. Droz wins and Savio was injured during this, meaning he never wrestled for WWF again.

Chyna tells Cole to Suck It and shoves him into a car. There’s a rumor that DX is splitting tonight.

Legion of Doom vs. Southern Justice

Hawk falls down the ramp. After a break the suits won’t let Hawk compete so Droz replaces him. Thank goodness Tennessee Lee got dumped last night. There’s no match as Jeff Jarrett comes out and breaks the guitar over Droz’s head in retaliation for a loss last night. Jeff cuts Droz’s hair.

X-Pac arrives.

Here are the Outlaws in serious mode. Pac comes out alone, followed by HHH and Chyna. HHH says everyone wants to know where DX stands but Pac cuts him off, saying he’s had enough of this. He says HHH and Chyna are jackoffs, so HHH calls Pac a jackoff. The Outlaws are jackoffs too. JR declares DX dead, and since no wrestling announcer has EVER jumped to conclusions it must be true! Everyone agrees that they’re all jackoffs and HHH says they’re not sure if they should split. HHH says it’s time for the split so they all start to take down their pants. Chyna stops them and takes her’s down. Not bad.

Austin throws Cole in the shower in the back. Not a good night for him.

Vader vs. Godfather

Bart Gunn pops up at the announce desk and wants respect from JR instead of hearing about how Williams had a bad knee. Godfather offers the ladies to Vader, most of which are flat out ugly. This takes awhile and Vader takes the girls. Bart Gunn knocks out Vader and takes Godfather down. Yes, this whole thing was a build up to the Brawl For All next week.

Dustin Rhodes says read the Bible and watch the Discovery Channel. He is coming back. This segment was sponsored by Evangelists Against Television Movies and Entertainment. Man when Vince wants to drive something in he doesn’t stop does he?

Here are Val and John Wayne Bobbitt (dude that got a rather specific area cut off by his wife. It was reattached and he made an adult movie about it. This was in 1993 so why they’re doing this now I’m not sure) for a press conference. He has an ice pack between his legs. He makes some expected jokes in a sad voice but then reveals that he’s fine. Lawler makes his own jokes and Val dumps Mrs. Yamaguchi-San for causing him all this trouble. He throws her a battery in a funny bit.

Edge is here.

Brawl For All Quarter-Finals: Bradshaw vs. Marc Mero

Bradshaw wins by points in overtime. Next.

Taker says he’ll explain his actions in the ring.

Tag Titles: The Rock/Owen Hart vs. Undertaker/Steve Austin vs. New Age Outlaws vs. Kane/Mankind

You can’t pin your partner, which is called the Outlaw Rule. During the Outlaws’ entrance, Ken Shamrock comes out and puts Owen in the ankle lock. It turns into a big brawl with HHH coming out as Owen taps to the ankle lock. The Nation fights DX and we take a break. D’Lo is replacing Owen. There’s no Mankind with Kane and Bearer. Oh wait he’s just behind them. Austin and Taker are the champions if that got lost in the shuffle.

In case you’re keeping track, every champion in the company other than Taka is in this match. Austin and Mankind start things off with Mankind getting a fast Mandible Claw which is broken up quickly. Neckbreaker gets two for Foley. He heads to the floor to avoid a Stunner though and walks up the ramp. Rock vs. Austin now and Mankind is back. Brown comes in and hits a spin kick as I think Lawler is losing his voice.

Brown takes a Thesz Press and Austin tags Kane. Kane tags Billy as this is moving very fast. Fameasser puts Brown down as does a gorilla press which gets two. Roadie comes in with the shaky knee for two. Mankind comes in to beat Roadie down but the pulling piledriver is countered. Back to Brown as these tags are almost impossible to keep track of. Finally we get to the important part though as Austin and Taker have to tag and they take turns killing Billy Gunn.

Gunn finally falls into a tag to Austin, making the partners legal. They wisely bring Road Dogg in because they can’t pin each other so there’s nothing to gain by fighting. Old School takes Road Dogg down and Taker tags in Brown. D’Lo hooks a chinlock and things finally slow down. There’s the Low Down but Billy makes the save. Rock comes back in and drops the People’s Elbow to a ROAR. Things slow way down as Mankind comes in. He spits at Austin and Taker but walks into a Russian legsweep from Road Dogg to put him down.

There’s the tag to Undertaker and everything breaks down as we’ve expected it to do the entire match. Kane hasn’t been in the match yet and is standing on the apron during the big brawl. Taker knocks everyone down and Mankind tags Kane. He chokeslams Undertaker very easily and wins the titles.

Rating: C. This was a mess and that’s all it was designed to be. It’s not like the titles meant anything here so changing them is fine. Russo was booking at this point so having everything be crazy like this is one of his trademarks. Still though, for a TV main event this was pretty huge and it worked pretty well.

Overall Rating: C-. Not the best show but it wasn’t bad. The Brawl For All ends in two weeks and I couldn’t be happier. It stops the show dead every time and with these little three minute fights, no one is going to be able to get into them. Anyway, ok show here but it’s clear they’re counting the days until Summerslam.

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It seems that there are two ways to run a Wrestlemania:There’s the way that the earlier ones (as in 1, 3, 5 and 6 so far) have been done and then there’s the way that most of the more recent ones have been done.  By that I mean having one big main event and then the rest of the card is whatever, or the way today’s are run with multiple huge matches.  Simple question: which do you prefer?

 

I think I prefer the older way.  It’s about one match and one showdown and there’s something cool about that.  However if it fails, you’re pretty much screwed.

 

Thoughts?

Wrestlemania 6
Date: April 1, 1990
Location: SkyDome, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 67,678
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura
O Canada: Robert Goulet

If you remember what I said in the last review about WM 5 being the first standard WM, this one is the first standard blockbuster Wrestlemania. This Mania has the truly huge show atmosphere to it and there are two main reasons for it. Number one is the crowd is massive. At over 67,000 people, this would be the second biggest crowd for a Wrestlemania for the next 11 years.

Second, you had the second biggest Wrestlemania Main event of all time which was title for title. Absolutely no one knew who to pick in this match. That to me is what makes a match at least a notch higher up. Also the actual look of the show changed. If you watch 4 and 5, you see the older look to it.

I’m not sure how to put it into words but if you watch either of them and then 6 one after another you’ll see what I mean. 6 simply looks much newer. I know that it’s a year later, but the jump is a huge difference. The card is long and while there’s some filler, it’s good filler. I’m a sucker for this show but I’ll try to be objective.

To begin with, one of the most memorable things about this show is the opening. It shows the night sky and talks about the constellations in it. Eventually we get to constellations of Hogan and Warrior. Vince’s booming voice over this scene makes the show and the match just seem epic.

Koko B. Ware vs. Rick Martel

Ok so not every match can be great. The newest WWE HOF member still makes me shake my head. Martel is a better choice than he is but that’s a topic for another thread. This is the WM debut of Martel’s Model gimmick. For this show the ring carts from WM 3 are back. For those that haven’t seen them, they’re small motorized carts that the wrestlers ride to the ring in. Kind of a cool idea.

I assume they’re used to prevent people from having to make the very long walk to the ring. You can tell how great Koko is. Gorilla’s line talking about how good he is: “He’s proven he can take anybody to the limit.” Read as, he can’t beat anyone. Koko only stands 5’8. Never knew how short he was. Martel is only 6’0 but it looks pretty funny to see the tiny face like that.

They actually thought this was the best possible opening match for Wrestle-freaking-Mania? Really? Frankie was always kind of cool. Martel jumps him to start and Koko is in trouble early on. Koko had a decent dropkick and that’s about it. Yet he’s in the Hall of Fame and Randy Savage isn’t. Amazing.

Martel sends him to the floor and Koko is in trouble. Ha I said that just as Gorilla did. The crowd starts a small boring chant and I can’t say I blame them. Boston Crab is blocked early. In the clipped version the first Boston Crab attempt is shown going on as Martel turns him towards the ropes and he winds up in the middle of the ring with it. Odd indeed.

Koko hits a pair of flying headbutts that just look awful. On the third one in one of the dumbest spots I’ve ever seen, he fakes the headbutt and after a second, Martel falls anyway. I could get that he was bracing himself and fell or something, but Koko gets a long two out of it. WOW. Missed cross body leads to the Boston Crab for the submission.

Rating: D. This was a squash and a bad one. Koko truly is bad in the ring. He’s bland and for whatever reason was popular. Bad way to start a show. Koko was one of those guys in the 80s that wasn’t any good but was pushed on occasion as a midcard threat anyway and more or less was a jobber to the stars. Weak opening match.

Andre and Haku, the Colossal Connection, are called the Colostomy Connection by Gene. Heenan says if you want to talk about evacuation…Wow again. They say they’re going to eliminate Demolition. Gene, as they leave: “The Colossal Connection, they’re anything but regular guys.” My goodness.

Demolition wants to destroy and demolish the Connection and take the belts back.

Tag Titles: Demolition vs. The Colossal Connection

This is Demolition’s rematch from when the Connection beat them in I believe December. It was also their chance to become three time tag champions. The crowd chants Weasel at Heenan which sounds great in this huge arena. This match is absolutely nothing but power all around. In something that I never realized before and someone correct me if I’m wrong but this was Andre’s last televised WWF match.

Andre jumps them to start and the challengers are in trouble early. Apparently the Harts want a shot at the winners. Smash and Haku officially start us off. I have a feeling we’ll be seeing the Islander a lot. Those big screens in the back are rather cool.

Andre only pops in every once in awhile to throw punches and choke. The perk of him being so freaking huge is that a simple move like one of those is enough to take a guy down and have it look very realistic.

This whole thing is pretty much just ok at best. Haku vs. Demolition isn’t a match I particularly care to see but it’s all they could do. I would kind of question putting the titles on the Connection simply to give Andre a title run in his career but it’s better than ignoring him I suppose. Axe gets beaten down for the majority of the match.

Haku wrestles almost all of the match here as Andre was in bad shape at this point. Haku accidentally superkicks Andre into the ropes and Demolition lands their finisher to pick up the titles. Post match, Heenan goes nuts on Andre in the corner, at one point clearly saying he’s the boss. Then in something that boggles even my smark mind, Bobby slaps him. The look on Andre’s face is nothing short of great.

He grabs Bobby by the throat and slaps him a few times and punches him. He catches Haku’s thrust kick and beats the heck out of him too. Heenan and Haku get thrown off the cart as Andre leaves on his own to the crowd losing their minds. The sad part though is how hunched over Andre is. Truly a sad sight.

Rating: C-. This was a fun little match that wasn’t entirely predictable. The post match stuff is even better than the match. Ticked off giants are just plain fun. It’s more or less just a way to give the fans something to cheer for which works fine I guess. Nothing special at all but fun.

In the back we see Earthquake and Jimmy Hart who says that there’s going to be an earthquake and Earthquake says Hercules will crumble.

Hercules vs. Earthquake

Do I have to watch this? Seriously, what are you expecting here? Quake is undefeated here and is putting people in the hospital left and right. He tries to jump Hercules to start and Herc pounds away with punches.

We get a test of strength and being a heel, Earthquake cheats after getting in trouble. He pounds away with fat man moves before Herc gets a shot in. After a bunch of big power shots he can’t take Earthquake off his feet.

And then like an IDIOT, Hercules tries for the backbreaker (torture rack) and gets drilled. You freaking deserve that for being stupid. A few shots put him down and the Earthquake Splash ends it. He deserves pain like that too.

Rating: D-. I liked Hercules, but this was just bad. It wasn’t quite a squash but it might as well have been. He beats Hercules up more afterwards and he deserves it for being stupid enough to try the Rack like that. Earthquake would be top heel by August.

Some old lady named Rona Barrett talks to Liz who is going to be more active in wrestling.

Brutus Beefcake is going to end Mr. Perfect’s “perfect” record. He shows off how sharp his scissors are by snipping at the paper the record is on and the paper doesn’t cut. Amazing indeed.

Brutus Beefcake vs. Mr. Perfect.

Perfect beat the tar out of Beefcake at the Rumble so this is little more than a grudge match. Can’t beat that. That Brutus music is downright awesome. Gorilla STEALS Jesse’s line about Brutus looking like a hand grenade went off in his pocket. Wouldn’t that result in a bad leg injury?

They start off hard and fast again which is a tradition so far tonight. Brutus dominates to start, sending Perfect flying. He might still be undefeated here but I’m not sure. Things slow down a lot as we talk about conditioning.

Gorilla isn’t sure what the weak spot is on Hennig. I’d recommend hitting him in the face. Brutus goes for the sleeper as Mary Tyler Moore is here. This Mania is officially awesome. Genius slips the scroll to Perfect which gets two. I love that neck snap Perfect does. Beefcake makes his comeback and hits a slingshot into the post for the pin out of NOWHERE.

Rating: C. Compared to what’s come before it, this match is Steamboat and Savage. Brutus, for all his faults, wasn’t that bad in the ring. Having a guy with him like Hennig helped a lot, and this might be Brutus’ biggest win ever. The postmatch beatdown is very old school pink on pink action fun as well.

Post match the Genius gets a haircut for his troubles.

To say this match is interesting would be an understatement. We see a video recapping the buildup. This match came about because Piper eliminated Bad News from the Rumble and Bad News came back in and eliminated him. They fought to the back. For those that don’t know, Brown was legit. He is the only American heavyweight to win a medal in Olympic Judo, and also made Andre the Giant back down in a real fight in Japan after Andre made a racist joke. Anyway, 3 weeks after the Rumble, Bad News made a joke about Piper’s kilt which is just too far.

In a promo that would never be allowed to air today, Piper is in the back and says he’s the Hot Rod, but at other times he’s the Hot Scot. At that point, he turns around and you see that half of his body is painted back right down the middle. After a brief karaoke of Billy Jean, Piper insults Brown’s looks in a funny promo and says he’s going to shut Bad News’ big mouth, but Brown doesn’t know if it’ll be Hot Rod or Hot Scot that does it.

I’m still not sure what the point of the whole painting thing was.

Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown

I think this is no DQ but I’m not sure. This isn’t so much a match as it is a fight. Very few wrestling moves and mainly punches and kicks but it was designed to be that way. The fighting is fun because it’s what these two are best at. Surprisingly Piper is ripped here in by far the best shape he’s ever been in.

Allegedly that paint took weeks to get off due to a rib from Andre and someone else. Not sure how true that is. Yeah there’s no wrestling at all here. Sometimes that’s a great thing though and here that’s exactly what this should be like.

The way Brown beats up Roddy and then Roddy just casually pokes him in the eye is great. Brown gets sent into exposed steel and is down. Piper pulls out a white glove as we continue the Michael Jackson theme night which I suppose is what the black and white thing is about. Match ends in a double count out and it means nothing. They continue brawling all the way up the ramp and into the back.

Rating: A. This match was nonstop fighting and was insanely fun. There was next to no wrestling in it but that that’s what made it great. I loved this match the first time I saw it and it’s still great. And yes that’s highly biased.

Steve Allen, the former Tonight Show host, is in a bathroom with a piano with the Bolsheviks practicing the Russian National Anthem. He makes a few jokes but finally says he’ll do the real Russian Anthem. He opens his mouth and a toilet flushes. Steve runs to save his own life.

Hart Foundation vs. The Bolsheviks

The Harts want Demolition. This match literally lasts 19 seconds. Harts knock the Bolsheviks down during their singing, land the Hart Attack and it’s over.

Rating: N/A. What can I say about 19 seconds? Funny if nothing else. The pop for Hart is coming too. It’s not there yet but you can see the star in him. Granted that might be the Canada thing

Wrestlemania 7 is coming to the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum and there will be over 100,000 fans there!

Edit from the future: no there won’t be. Ticket sales bombed and they moved it to the Sports Arena in the same town which held about 16,000 people.

Barbarian vs. Tito Santana

Tito does a promo that I literally couldn’t pay attention to. This match screamed HOUSE SHOW to me. It’s two guys in a ring doing moves on each other. There’s little psychology and less meaning to most of it. It’s not bad wrestling, but there’s no spark to it at all. Santana is a great worker, but this match just did nothing for me.

Yeah this isn’t much at all. Santana does a bit, Barbarian hits the floor to hide a bit with Heenan, Jesse makes enchilada jokes, Barbarian comes back in, and we let the destruction begins. It’s not bad but at the same time this isn’t much at all. It’s not boring, but I wonder why this is on Wrestlemania. Barbarian wins with a clothesline off the top that was sweet looking.

Rating: D. Like I said, it’s not bad at all, but it just did nothing for me. I don’t get the need for this being on here though as Tito was destroyed both here and at Summerslam by the Powers of Pain. I guess I get the idea of having them get good matches (in theory) but really? This needed to be on Mania?

Next up is a recap of the upcoming mixed tag which I believe was a first at the time. Sapphire, as worthless of a person as there ever has been in wrestling, is shown beating up Sherri which just infuriates me, and Macho King feuding with the Common Man Dusty Rhodes. Fairly cool concept for a feud really, even though Dusty boarders on Communism in his promo. He also talks about having the Crown Jewel but no one knows what they mean.

Macho King and Queen Sherri vs. Dusty Rhodes and Sapphire

The King having people carry him to the ring on the throne was always just insanely cool to me for some reason. The fun part of this for some reason was figuring out the women’s weight based on the male’s weights. Sherri at about 130-140 and Sapphire at 180-190, which Jesse says is impossible and I think I agree with him. The more Dusty promos I hear the more I like him. His mic work is great.

Dusty says that they have something Macho doesn’t have, which is the Crown Jewel. The Crown Jewel is none other than Elizabeth. For the first time in way too long, Savage absolutely loses it. The crowd pops louder than they’ve done all night as she goes to Dusty and Sapphire’s corner.

Liz is definitely good looking in blue. The genders have to match up here so that’s good. Sapphire is just horrible. One of her attacks is a hip into the other chick’s hips. I can’t believe I’m going to say this but GET BACK TO DUSTY!

Dusty does what he can here and it’s just not working for the most part. A lot of this is the girls doing what they can which isn’t much for the most part as they’re just not very good. Well Sherri is but she can’t work miracles. Savage destroys Dusty until the required big comeback makes the save.

This match is all over the place the entire match and it’s incredibly fun. Rhodes is at his best when he can just go crazy in a match and that’s what this is. Dusty is in the ring the entire time almost which is the best thing possible. Dusty is just on fire the whole time and Savage is his usual great self. Sapphire finally gets in the ring and proves my theory: she is awful. Sadly enough, she pins Sherri in a dark day for wrestling. Liz actually dances with Dusty and Sapphire to Common Man after the match.

Rating: D-. Sapphire literally drops this about a full letter grade. She was flat out awful and there is no reason she should have pinned Sherri at all. Dusty and Savage carry this to a decent grade though. It’s a sad day that Dusty Rhodes is the workhorse of his team but that was the case here.

Hey, did you know WM 7 will be in Los Angeles? Don’t know if the promo that aired earlier would get the message across or not.

Heenan is upset. Okerlund is all over the place tonight as he says, “Bobby Heenan where do you have the ba…guts to insult Andre the Giant?” You can clearly see Bobby almost lose it after that. He declares war on Andre and says he’ll be getting a new Heenan Family together.

That old woman from earlier is with Gorilla and Jesse in the back and yet again, I couldn’t care less. Allegedly there’s a clip of Jesse in an adult movie out there somewhere. Never heard anything about that and I don’t think it’s true.

Macho Man cuts a promo that makes literally no sense. I think it’s about Dusty Rhodes.

Demolition is glad to have won the titles in the fifth promo in a row. They say the Harts can bring it on.

In promo #6, Hogan cuts one of his most famous promos ever, telling Warrior that the power lies in the palm of his hand. He also says that he can save all of the Little Warriors with the training, the prayers and the vitamins. Hogan goes on to say that his Hulkamaniacs want to help them. Rewatching this, it’s clear that Hogan would lose. He mentions that the winner or the loser doesn’t matter, but what kind of winner or loser you are.

At the end of the show, he hands the belt to Warrior and holds up his hand, being a “good loser.” Wow it’s fun to see these in a different light. Also starting to wonder if “take your vitamins” is a tongue in cheek reference to taking steroids, but that might be a stretch.

Guess what’s next? Go on, guess. If you said Promo #7, I’ll get you a ham sandwich. In an equally famous promo, Warrior says that Hogan’s life can be lived through the Warrior, but it will be in the darkness. Everything is about accepting challenges, but Hogan has never met a challenge like him. He’s going to bring the Warriors and the Hulkamaniacs together as one.

Rockers vs. Orient Express

See, this is what I loved about the 80s and early 90s: the tag division was AWESOME. There were at least 8 distinctly gimmicked teams fighting all over the place. There were jobber teams, midcard teams and main event tag teams. These teams almost always had great matches together. They had a great one at the 91 Rumble so hopefully this holds up.

Tanaka vs. Jannetty opens us up. Surprisingly enough this is pretty fast paced to start. Fuji interferes with the cane to set up Marty as the Ricky Morton for this match. And never mind as Shawn is already back in. Tanaka takes him down with a cross body for no cover.

The fans are into this which is always a good sign. It’s actually Shawn as the face in peril here which is the custom of the Rockers. It’s weird to see the Rockers getting outworked. Marty comes in to more or less no pop which is odd.

The double teaming by the good guys begins and Tanaka takes a big old flipping flip off a double back drop. Fuji trips Janetty and salt goes into his eyes as he falls into the crowd. Are we sure he’s not just drunk? He gets counted out to let evil win the day.

Rating: C. Semi-filler, but that doesn’t mean it has to be bad. This is definitely the weakest of their feud which is saying a lot as this was sitll fine. Not a bad match but not great really. The ending more or less sucked but that isn’t incredibly bad. It set up a future match I guess but I wasn’t big on it.

Steve Allen is with Rhythm and Blues. Allen says he hasn’t been so excited since he heard Pee Wee Herman was straight. Good grief this show was pushing things for 1990.

Jim Duggan vs. Dino Bravo

Duggan waves the American flag in Canada. Well no one ever said he was intelligent. Jesse is impressed by the crowd as he should be. It’s huge. This is your standard power brawl and with Duggan in there, it’s likely not going to be that great. Surprising no one, it’s pretty dull.

The crowd is into it though so that’s good. Here’s some punching. And some kicking. Plus some more punching. Ooo it’s a back breaker. Yeah it’s one of those matches. Never been a fan of these matches but they’re trying…..ok not really but it sounds good.

Earthquake and Hart interfere of course. We get an argument about manager’s licenses and all that jazz which goes nowhere. Eventually the referee yells at him leading to a 2×4 to Bravo’s back and a pin. Post match Quake beats the heck out of Duggan.

Rating: D+. It was bad but they kept it short which was very smart. These two were thrown out there on a ton of Superstars shows which went nowhere. This was too short and it never went anywhere at all which doesn’t surprise me at all. Weak match and filler. It’s just not a good sign when there’s nothing to bring the crowd down from. You can tell they’re here for one match only.

Video package showing Jake Roberts stealing DiBiase’s Million Dollar Belt which happened over the course of about a year for some reason. Jake is in the back and cuts what might be one of the best promos I’ve ever seen. He starts by saying this is the biggest match in DiBiase’s career. At that moment I thought this was going to suck because 2 years ago he was main eventing WM for the World Title.

But then Jake started talking about DiBiase’s values and his life, and something impressive happened: I believed him. That my friends, is why Jake Roberts is considered great. He was able to make you believe something that wasn’t true. That is what psychology in wrestling is. He did something that made you believe in what he was trying to sell to you. Greatness indeed.

Ted DiBiase vs. Jake Roberts

If there are two better 80s performers that never got a real chance in the main event, I’d like to see them. Jake dominates at first and goes to town on DiBiase’s arm but as DiBiase pretends to bail, Jake gets caught by him. I hope this is a Canadian tradition and not a sign of boredom but the Wave begins in the SkyDome which really is an impressive sight in a crowd that big. I kind of see it as disrespectful though.

A wide shot shows that the ring is on a pedestal/platform kind of thing which really is cool. Jake immediately goes for the DDT but can’t get anywhere with it. This is your standard match between these guys with a LONG chinlock. These two fought time and time again, usually for the Million Dollar Belt, and it never went anywhere.

Jake makes his usual comeback and then gets taken down again. And there’s the chinlock again. Was Ted afraid to do much other than something like that? Apparently it’s to get through the Wave. Well that makes sense. Jake makes his comeback and still I will say that no one bumps as well as DiBiase does for his size. They go outside and DiBiase locks in the Dream again but goes into the post.

Virgil him back in before the 10 though and DiBiase gets the win. Post match Jake comes back and beats both men up, sending money flying everywhere. Virgil gets away with the money but Jake gets a picture perfect DDT on DiBiase and the fans explode. You can see the head slam off the mat and it looks great. Jake then hands out the real $100 bills that DiBiase dropped, including one to Hollywood legend Mary Tyler Moore.

Rating: C. Well they tried but the whole Wave = chinlock thing messed up a lot of their stuff. They tried as hard as they could but the crowd was against them here. This was a huge feud and DIBiase gets the title back via countout but whatever. The number of matches is hurting the show again.

In the back, we hear Slick talk about why Bossman turned face, which was because he wouldn’t be paid off by DiBiase to do his bidding, saying that he was a fair law enforcer. That split up the team of Bossman and Akeem so we get this match. Bossman, which is really a great gimmick, another great feature of the 80s, says that he’s proud to be an American. Great way to be a face buddy.

Akeem vs. Big Boss Man

Bossman’s eyes are sweet looking on the way to the ring. Before the match, DiBiase, the guy that tried to buy off Bossman in the fall, comes from under the ring and beats up Bossman so Akeem dominates to begin with. Bossman lands a great boot to the face though to break the momentum.

He’s down and trying to get his breath but then just snaps up like absolutely nothing is wrong with him. It looked REALLY bad. He goes off on Akeem and a few seconds later an amazing Bossman Slam considering Akeem’s size gets the pin. Post match, Bossman punches Slick.

Rating:N/A. Just another quickie and it gets nowhere at all.

Sean Mooney is in the crowd and asks if people are looking forward the Rhythm And Blues singing. Mary Tyler Moore is apparently a wrestling fan and I now love her even more than I did before.

Now we get the famous scene from this show: the Pink Cadillac carrying Rhythm And Blues. The reason this is famous? The owner and driver of the car is none other than future two time, two time WCW World Heavyweight Champion, Diamond Dallas Page. He was just about to debut in WCW at the time. He actually might have already but if he had he had been there all of a month.

They perform their new song, Hunka Hunka Hunka Honkey Love (Word wants to murder me for that) and it’s bad. You can see Jimmy Hart is the only one that has a clue what he’s doing which makes sense.

For those of you that don’t know, Jimmy Hart was the main person responsible for all of the mind blowing songs used in the WWF in the 80s and early 90s. Back in the 60s he was lead singer for a band called the Gentrys that had a big hit called Keep On Dancing. They went on tour with the Beach Boys so apparently they had something going for them. Hart brought that legit talent to wrestling music and it worked really well.

For God knows what reason, the Bushwackers appear selling programs at ringside. Realizing that these are the worst disguises of all time, they pull them off and run off Rhythm and Blues before destroying their guitars. Kind of funny, more stupid though. The funniest part of this is Jesse referencing a CD and Gorilla doesn’t sound that sure as to what it is.

Yet again, WM 7 in Los Angeles. The sad thing is I remember the real commercials that had the ticket number in it that’s been edited out since. I could literally quote the ticket number in this if I wanted to. That’s kind of sad.

New SkyDome attendance record of 67,678 people. These announcements are always kind of cool to me. However, the fans seem completely uncaring about this.

Rick Rude vs. Jimmy Snuka

This match is pure filler before the main event. Steve Allen is on commentary here. Standard match here for these two. Back and forth which makes it a decent match. Snuka doing the hip swivel is funny if nothing else. Rude wins with a Rude Awakening. Steve Allen has some very funny lines in this and it boosted the match a lot. For those that may have forgotten, Allen was kind of like the Jay Leno of his time, just not quite as famous but very close to it.

Rating: C-. Funny and that’s it. No one cares as it’s time for Hogan vs. Warrior.

And now it’s time for the main event. First up of course is a recap though. It stated with the two of them saying nice things about each other in their promos and then they wound up being alone together in the Rumble. They do a nicely choreographed routine ending in a double clothesline, but DANG was it exciting to see it at the time. This would be like Hogan and Austin today.

A week later they were in a tag match with Mr. Perfect and his manager/partner the Genius. Hogan and Warrior win but afterwards the brawl continues. Hogan gets nailed by mistake with a Warrior clothesline. A month later Warrior is in trouble against Earthquake and Hogan makes the save after the match for Mania had been announced. Two weeks after that, same scenario, just switch Hogan and Warrior.

In other words, Earthquake was a very scary man. Hogan tries to get up and Warrior runs back and forth. Hogan has his back to him and Warrior raises his arm for a clothesline but stops dead. Then Hogan turns and puts his fists up. Warrior hits the ropes again, hops to the floor and runs away. Seriously, this guy was messed up at times.

Intercontinental Title/WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. The Ultimate Warrior

This was dubbed The Ultimate Challenge and both belts were on the line. Warrior’s music hits and I don’t ever recall a crowd going from dead to insane so quickly, at least not until Austin and the glass shattering began. Everything about this match is absolutely epic. Even the entrances just feel big if that makes sense. This is what Wrestlemania was supposed to end with and it works perfectly here.

Absolutely great job in building this up as face vs. face was very risky and still is hard to do today. Hogan’s ovation is clearly louder, but not by much. In one of the coolest scenes ever, Hogan’s music plays and as we pan from the crowd to the entry way, Warrior is seen standing on the middle rope doing his press slam motion. I marked out beyond belief just for the entrances.

It’s hard to do, but they awakened the inner young fan in me, the Hulkamaniac that lurks inside my soul. One thing I’ve always wondered: when Warrior comes to the ring, he clearly has his symbol painted on his chest, yet 5 minutes into the match it’s gone without a trace. That’s too fast to have been knocked off and wouldn’t there be traces if it was sweated off?

Crowd is white hot for this. Both guys shove each other away. And now for the iconic moment of the match: the test of strength. Warrior puts Hogan down but Hogan comes back and puts Warrior down. Hogan gets a slam and Warrior pops up. Warrior gets a slam and Hogan doesn’t pop up.

Hogan goes to the floor and holds his knee. This will NEVER be mentioned again after it gets better. The key thing here though: it lets Hogan be able to say that Warrior didn’t beat him at his best. The referee keeps trying to protect Hogan and Warrior is like screw you short man.

Naturally Hogan is fine now so the knee thing is completely forgotten, never to be mentioned again. Hogan gets the worst chinlock ever to take over for awhile. He puts Warrior down and waits awhile before covering after a clothesline. Ok then.

Back to the chinlock now as this is going more or less nowhere at all. A belly to back suplex fills in the wrestling quota for tonight. He gets his fourth chinlock to fill in time. Double clothesline and both go down after Hogan has taken next to no punishment this whole time.

Warrior does an Undertaker sit up before Taker was around. Warrior Warriors Up and the bald man is in trouble. Bear hug goes on Hogan. There are FAR more rest holds in this than I remember. This one goes on for like two and a half minutes.

And down goes the referee. Hogan gets what would be a three count. Warrior gets what would be a three count. Warrior hammers away and manages to get the press slam and the splash for two as the fans are in shock.

He Hulks Up as Warrior pounds away on him. Three punches and a big boot set up the leg drop. The leg drop amazingly misses and Warrior hits a big splash and wins the title in one of the biggest shockers of all time.

Rating: A+. This match lived up to the amazing hype that it got and showed that Hogan could work a long match that wasn’t in his normal formula. It also showed that Warrior did indeed have the capabilities to wrestle well if given the right opponent, which he had also done with Rude. While I think Hogan should have kept the title, that doesn’t mean that it was a bad match, because it was great.

The finish made sense and didn’t make Hogan look weak but made Warrior look strong. That’s hard to do. I don’t know what I can say about this match that hasn’t already been said. For both men, it’s likely the match of their lives. They have nearly 68,000 people in the palms of their hands for nearly 23 minutes and it never lets up once. Everything is a small war and the crowd knows it. Every little thing in this match is done well and that makes it a classic.

Both men do their signature no pain things, and you literally didn’t know who was going to win. When Hogan hulked up, I truly believed for a split second he was going to win. That’s great work. The finish to this epic struggle came when Hogan missed the leg drop and Warrior splashed him for the pin, and wrestling changed forever. Jesse’s shout of THE WARRIOR’S WON THE TITLE is absolutely perfect.

After Hogan hands him the belt and steals a bit of the spotlight, the arena goes a bit darker and pyro goes off all over the place. The big screens show Warrior shaking the ropes with the belt in hand and it’s just amazing to look at. A great ending to a great match and show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a really hard decision for me because based on the main event, the Brown/Piper match and a few others, this show is really great to watch. However, there’s some flaws that keep it from being perfect. For one thing and I didn’t really touch on this, the time it took to get to the ring was just way too long. I know there’s not much they could do about that, but it really slowed things down at times.

Also, there were too many short matches. The card doesn’t need to have everyone on the card. Take the opener for example. That was a waste of nearly 10 minutes counting introductions. Finally, WAY too many backstage promos. We don’t need an interview before every match. It’s just overkill at that point. However, those are simply keeping a great show from being legendary.

This show had the real Wrestlemania feel to it and it shows. It was supposed to be an epic show and it lived up to it. The matches were for the most part good, stories were advanced, things were memorable, and it was fun. Definite recommendation here as so far, it’s the second best Mania and arguably the best along with 3. Los Angeles, here we come!

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Smackdown
Date: February 1, 2001
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 11,757
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

This is a special called Smackdown Extreme. This was claimed to be live but from what I can tell, this was taped two days before. What exactly is extreme about it I’m not sure but I seem to remember some gimmick matches being added in here. This would be just after the Rumble so we need an opponent for Austin at Mania, so we need to start building up to No Way Out. Let’s get to it.

There’s a red X over the logo here because it’s EXTREME!!!

Rock vs. Angle for the title later.

Tag Titles: Hardy Boys vs. Dudley Boys

The Dudleys are defending in their specialty here, the tables match. Only one has to go through a table for the win here. It’s a brawl to start as at the moment there’s no tagging going on. Jeff takes the reverse 3D and What’s Up Matt? The Dudleys set Jeff on a table but he punches Bubba in the balls. Jeff tries a top rope rana but D-Von moves the table. Jeff does the same to save Matt from a double flapjack.

In a cool spot, Bubba is about to superplex Jeff through a table but Matt dives through it instead. Bubba superplexes him onto the wreckage but it doesn’t count because Bubba didn’t drive Matt through it. That makes sense. Matt busts out a ladder and throws D-Von into it. The Hardys set up a table on the floor and then a second beside it. D-Von is placed onto one of them and Matt climbs the ladder but Bubba saves.

D-Von climbs up but Bubba throws Jeff into the two of them and they fall, SLAMMING THEIR HEADS INTO THE EDGE OF THE TABLE WIHCH DOESN’T BREAK!!! FREAKING OW MAN!!! Everyone is on the floor now with Bubba and Jeff up by the stage. Matt and D-Von are mostly dead as the others fight up by the production tables. They go up onto the stage and after a brief brawl, Bubba hits the Bubba Bomb to Jeff through the tables to retain.

Rating: C. Picture a match between these two teams and make it a tables match. That’s more or less what you had here and it wasn’t that bad. The problem these teams along with Edge/Christian had was you saw them do the matches so many times and it got very repetitive after awhile. This was entertaining enough though.

Austin is watching in the back.

All four guys are getting medical attention in the back. Lita comes up and Matt says go worry about winning the Women’s Title.

We recap HHH and Austin’s contract signing. The deal was if Austin hit HHH before the PPV, he lost his title shot. If HHH hit Austin before the PPV, he was suspended six months. HHH signed and then hit Austin, but he only pretended to sign and then laid Austin out.

Austin leaves his dressing room.

Women’s Title: Ivory vs. Lita vs. Jacqueline

Ivory is champion. The challengers slide to the floor to get at Ivory so she runs. That fails completely and the double beating continues. The fans are all behind Lita here. Lita gets a headscissors for two on Ivory and it’s your typical one girl beats on Ivory and the other saves the pin and then switch it up. Lit puts Jackie down and hits the moonsault but Ivory comes in to steal the pin. Just how I like my Jackie matches: short.

HHH and Steph get here and find that it was Austin’s dressing room they were in. They find beer cans everywhere and Austin comes out of their bathroom. Everything is leaking apparently and Stephanie is disgusted. This could get awesome.

Here are Edge/Christian who are all worried about their opponents. And they’re facing….Kai En Tai. The Canadians interfered in a tag title match for Kai En Tai on Monday to set this up. However, Funaki has a bad rash so the EVIL Kai En Tai has some replacements.

Edge/Christian vs. Acolytes

The APA rushes the ring and it’s Bradshaw vs. Christian to start. This is two days before the start of the XFL so you know Cole is going to plug that. Bradshaw goes after Edge and the distraction lets Christian hit a dropkick to take over. Off to Edge who beats on Bradshaw a bit until the future rich guy is able to bring in Farrooq. Everything breaks down and Christian escapes the Dominator. Edge slides in some chairs but Funaki takes the Concharito for him. Edge goes after Taka and Farrooq hits a spinebuster on Christian for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not much here but they went fast enough that it wasn’t going to get that bad. Also it allows Kai En Tai to get their revenge without making the Canadians look weak. Not a particularly good match but it did what it was supposed to do, which is as much as you can ask for most of the time. You wouldn’t get that today.

Vince yells at people saying that he has his own issues to deal with because he has his own problems. Regal comes in to say Vince has a phone call. Unless it’s Dick Ebersol Vince isn’t interested. Regal says it’s personal and whispers it to Vince, which makes him take it.

Vince is on the phone with someone and says that whoever it is is the most important person to them. That person is here in Columbus. Lawler thinks it’s Trish.

We talk about Chyna making personal appearances to plug her book. She was on Conan last night so we get a clip of it.

Billy Gunn is glad Chyna is keeping a positive mental attitude and has been making all those media appearances. Big Show comes in and is tired of hearing about Chyna so he shoves Billy down. He wants to know when he gets his interview because he’s been out six months.

Trish is in a bubble bath and is on the phone. Why she’s cool with a camera watching this is anyone’s guess. She says there’s plenty of room and wants whoever she’s talking to to come down there right now.

Video on Chris Jericho.

HHH is ticked off at Austin and says he’s not sure if he can make it to the end of this without getting suspended. Steph says calm down and focus on getting the title. She’s going to go talk to Vince because she has an idea.

Jericho, the IC Champion, says he knows extreme so he’s issuing an extreme open challenge for a title match right now.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Taz

Taz says he’ll make Jericho just another victim. Jericho works on the arm to start with an attempt at a Fujiwara Armbar but Taz fights him off. A head and arms suplex puts Jericho down and out on the floor. Jericho gets rammed into the barricade and Taz hooks a chinlock back inside. Jericho gets a rollup but Taz gets out and clotheslines him down. Enziguri puts the challenger down and a forearm gets two. Taz grabs the Tazmission but Jericho escapes and the bulldog sets up the Lionsault for the pin to retain.

Rating: C-. Not bad again but this was again nothing special. This is something you don’t get anymore: one off title defenses to build up the champion a little bit. It doesn’t seem like much here but if you do this four or five times, the champion looks a lot better and is on a roll. See how easy it can be to do that?

Vince is about to leave when Stephanie comes up. He’s in a hurry but she says she has an idea. Vince is in such a hurry that he drives off himself. The idea is add HHH to the world title match tonight which Vince agrees to so he can get out.

Here’s The Kat in a very small top. She talks about how everyone is talking about Smackdown Extreme and all the gimmick matches we’ve got tonight. There are other ways to get extreme though, and that’s where she comes in. There’s nothing she won’t do to get a rise out of the fans and she excels at it. She knows what turns men on and she knows what men want to see. She’s going to give us full frontal nudity and she manages to get her pants off, but as the top is untied, the RTC comes out to cover her up.

Richards goes on a rant against the crowd and Lawler says he hates him. This was a parody of the PTC, which is a group that basically tries to tell everyone how to think and what they should or shouldn’t be allowed to watch on TV. Naturally they hate Vince and the WWF.

We see some Tough Enough auditions, none of which I recognize.

Rock talks about the main event now being a triple threat. HHH got lucky to be married to Stephanie and is getting Rock’s shot as a result. Rock has been in the main event of the last two Wrestlemanias and has to win the title to do it a third straight year. Rock tells Angle to go to the local arcade and take a bunch of pictures of himself. Make them into a belt to hold your pants up because after the Rock takes the title, Angle is going to need something to hold up your pimply hemorrhoid (To Kevin Kelly: “Don’t get excited. The Rock said hemorrhoid not hermaphrodite”) head. Angle and HHH can just bring it.

Austin is still drinking beer. He shakes up two cans and leaves with them.

Big Show vs. Billy Gunn

Billy tries to speed things up so Show kicks his head off. There’s a claw hold and Show hammers on him. Gunn is grabbed by the throat, picked up and dropped but that’s not a chokeslam somehow. The crushing goes on for awhile. Gunn gets something like a sleeper but is countered into a side slam. Billy misses an elbow and hits a bulldog but Show kicks out with ease. Chokeslam ends this a moment later.

Rating: D. Billy Gunn is an interesting case and a fine case study for future attempted pushes. They tried for years to push him as a singles guy but the fans never accepted it. The company kept trying it but at the end of the day he was still Billy Gunn, just a few years later. The fans still didn’t care for him and it still didn’t work. WWE never quite got it though so Billy’s push was never effective. Sometimes it just doesn’t work, as Billy had the perfect look but never got over as he was expected to because the fans just didn’t want him.

HHH is getting ready when Austin comes in and offers him and Stephanie a beer. Instead he opens it and it sprays all over HHH.

Angle says why not make this in a shark tank and the only way you win is to put the opponent down the shark’s throat and pin the shark. He’s ready for the main event.

Video on Kane’s Rumble dominance.

The Brothers of Destruction are ready for the Samoans tonight.

Undertaker music video to Rollin by Limp Bizkit.

Undertaker/Kane vs. Haku/Rikishi

First blood here. Total brawl to start with Undertaker throwing Haku into the steps. The Brothers ping pong Rikishi with punches until Haku is back up. Rikishi and Undertaker head into the ring and Taker hits Old School. The pairings switch off and the Samoans get chairs to take over. Rikishi pounds on Kane in the corner and sets for a Stinkface but Taker cracks Haku with a chair and Kane breaks it up with a low blow. A chokeslam puts Rikishi down and Haku is bleeding but it isn’t seen. Steps to the head of Rikishi and the referee sees Haku bleeding to end it.

Rating: D+. Just a brawl that had a way to declare a winner. This feud wasn’t really interesting anyone and it only ended because of an injury to Rikishi. Not much to see as far as a match but power matches are always kind of fun to see. Kane and Undertaker would move on to bigger things very soon.

The Brothers beat down the Samoans post match to clear the ring.

WWF Title: The Rock vs. Kurt Angle vs. HHH

Rock and HHH start fighting before Angle gets here. Angle runs out and is thrown to the floor almost immediately. DDT gets two for Rock very fast. Kurt gets back in and is punched to the floor almost immediately. Pedigree out of nowhere gets two. The match has only been going a minute so far. Here’s Austin because the first minute didn’t have enough happening in it. He comes out with a cooler to watch the match.

Angle uses the distraction to grab the Olympic Slam (back when it could still get a pin) for two as Rock saves. Rock suplexes Angle down but can’t follow up so all three are down. HHH pounds on Rock and goes up top (???) only to have Rock punch him and slam him off the top. Rock throws HHH over the corner and out to the floor but Angle suplexes him. Austin goes for a walk and puts a beer in front of HHH’s face.

HHH slaps it away as Rock comes back on Angle. Rock grabs the Sharpshooter but HHH comes in and DDTs him to break up the hold, getting two. The jumping knee hits and HHH takes him down with a neckbreaker for two. Angle suplexes HHH but walks into a Rock Bottom. Stephanie distracts the referee and Rock goes after her, allowing HHH to blast him. Angle Slam gets two. HHH sets for a catapult but gets kicked into the referee. Angle hits HHH low to break up the Pedigree and rolls him up but there’s no referee. Austin comes in and grabs the referee’s hand to slap the mat three times.

Rating: B. I liked this match a lot as they only had about ten minutes to work with and so they didn’t put anything slow paced out there. Almost everything was about hitting finishers which I usually dislike but this match was thrown together so there was no time for planning or anything like that. Fun match and the ending played into the Austin vs. HHH feud very well.

Overall Rating: B. I could see how people would like this show a lot but to me, there are a lot of dead spots on it. It’s certainly good and an entertaining show, but it doesn’t ever really get past good and into great. Austin vs. HHH would be a great match at No Way Out and it set up the greatest PPV ever, but this never got past being just a good show and into an area of greatness.

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Simple question here.I’d think yeah he should have.  Can you imagine Savage getting counted out or DQed and the heat for the rematches over the summer until Summerslam?  It could have been insane.

 

Thoughts?

Wrestlemania 5
Date: April 2, 1989
Location: Trump Plaza, Atlantic City, New Jersey
Attendance: 18,946
Announcers: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura
America The Beautiful: Rockin Robin

This show is more or less the WWF waking up and realizing that not announcing your main event until 20 minutes before it happens isn’t really a good idea. The tagline for this show was very simple: The Mega Powers Explode! Simple concept that’s as old as wrestling itself: Hogan helps Savage become champion, Hogan gets the spotlight even without the belt, Savage’s jealousy gets the best of him and he snaps over a certain incident.

In this case, the incident was on my first birthday in a tag match with Akeem and Big Boss Man against the Mega Powers. Savage got tossed through the ropes and landed on Elizabeth. Hogan carried her back to get help and Savage was left all alone. They argue in the back with Savage cutting the best promo of his life as all of the anger he had stored up inside him erupts and he attacks Hogan to set up this showdown for the gold. Liz says she’s going to try to remain neutral in the main event.

The Women’s Champion sings America the Beautiful and does an ok job at it. Kind of a bland voice though.

Haku vs. Hercules

This match is part of a very unnoticed storyline where Hercules was part of the Heenan Family but was then “sold” to Ted DiBiase. This upset him and Hercules said he was a free man. He went on a small war with Heenan’s stable and I guess you’d call this the climax of that. The feud was nothing at all and it went nowhere as Hercules just wasn’t over at all. This is a power vs. power match that pleasantly surprised me as it has a fair amount of solid wrestling on it and not just all power.

The powder blue tights just don’t do it for a guy with the name of Hercules. Donald Trump is in the front row again which makes sense as he owns the place. Haku is really getting outworked here. Hercules’ offense is a lot more diverse as opposed to chops and bearhugs with a kick thrown in here and there. That’s kind of the storyline of this whole match too and you can see that in the ending.

Haku is the King of Wrestling here and for some reason that isn’t on the line in this match. It was an odd kind of semi-title where you would be proclaimed king and get to wear a crown and have a bunch of muscle jobbers bring you out on a throne but other than that it never really went anywhere. Savage got it and held it for like a year or so and it more or less died after that.

This is about as bland as you can get but it’s surprisingly decent. Hercules worked better as a face because here he has something to fight for in his own pride. Back when he was a heel he had nothing special about him and was just a generic henchman. He’s more interesting and well rounded here though which is what a turn is supposed to accomplish.

Hercules lands a belly to back suplex into a bridge but shoots his shoulder up to avoid the double pin, which was exactly the same thing he lost to the year before. That’s a very subtle touch to his character that a lot of people don’t realize. It shows that he’s capable of learning something new and has adapted a new style over the last year.

Rating: C-. There’s a story here and there’s some decent action, but at the end of it all it’s just not that great. Good and not boring, but not great. This wasn’t much at all from a ring work standpoint but it was surprisingly good. I’m not sure why I like this match but I kind of always have and while it’s certainly an odd choice to open Wrestlemania with, it’s not bad.

In the back we see a team called the Rockers. This Marty Jannetty guy is a freaking STUD. I could see this guy winning something like the IC title, maybe some tag titles or something like that. His partner just does nothing for me though as he’s bland.

Twin Towers vs. The Rockers

Twin Towers are Big Bossman and Akeem, aka the One Man Gang in case you weren’t sure. Rockers had been around for a few months at this point but as they would wind up doing for their whole run they were still trying to find themselves as a team.

This is about as simple of a story as you can get: power vs. speed and it works fairly well here. Akeem seriously may be the greatest gimmick of all time. For those of you that don’t know, One Man Gang and his manager Slick found out that he was of African descent, despite being the palest Caucasian you’ll ever find.

He starts embracing his African roots and doing these weird dances and wearing weird outfits. To see him doing this is just hilarious and something that you should check out for a good laugh and I’d like to give whoever thought it up a ham sandwich.

Cool spot where Bossman has Jannetty up in a bear hug position and Akeem just slams into him. Simple yet effective. Jannetty gets his head handed to him the majority of the match. Slick screaming about how a black referee would count faster and wouldn’t cheat is just such a great touch when his wrestlers are whiter than snow.

Becca shouldn’t watch this match as Akeem just about kills Shawn with one of the best clotheslines I’ve ever seen. Bossman kills him even worse with a spinning powerbomb and then a splash by Akeem and Shawn is finally given a break as the pin goes down.

Rating: C. This was a solid performance by the Rockers but they really didn’t stand much of a chance. Some good spots make this quite passable though. What’s with the back to back generic matches to start off the biggest show of the year though? Is this really the best they could find?

Ted DiBiase is rich and likes to talk about it. He’s also got a new belt that he likes showing off.

Ted DiBiase vs. Brutus Beefcake

Hearing DiBiase having different homes for each season is just a perfect touch to the gimmick that makes him so much more fun to hate. Still say he’s the best heel of all time. Brutus finally has his awesome music here. Jesse describes Brutus’ pants perfectly: it looks like a grenade went off in his pockets. Ted talks to Trump before we start.

What exactly did Brutus expect to do with those huge hedge clippers? This is a balance of the sleepers. According to Gorilla this is one of the reasons the fans are here for. Something tells me that’s not the case. DiBiase cheats almost immediately as the heel he is. What a fall he’s taken in a year. From the main event to this. Wow.

We get a pretty nice back and forth sequence to start as both guys are moving pretty well out there. Jesse drops some names as they slug it out. It’s turned into a standard kick and punch match which isn’t interesting or anything but it fills in time pretty well I suppose.

DiBiase gets a nice shot off the middle rope but doesn’t cover or anything. Why do that anyway? No one gets pins off moves like those anyway. Brutus gets a small package for two. Double clothesline and Ted gets up first. There’s the Million Dollar Dream but Beefcake gets the rope. More kicking and punching sets up Beefcake’s sleeper. Virgil gets Beefcake on the floor and DiBiase follows, leading to a double countout. Gorilla kind of scoffs at the ending.

Rating: D+. They were just kind of there. Pretty boring too. Nothing interesting here at all. I’ve always loved the falling punch DiBiase used. Just something sweet about it. This is power versus technician but it just doesn’t come off that way. Beefcake was supposed to be a power guy I think but he wasn’t that good at it. It’s also not a power move to use a sleeper. Yeah this match was pretty weak.

There used to be a thing called the Bagels and Biceps Brunch. What the point of this was, I’m not sure but it apparently was a tradition. The Bushwackers, one of which licked my face at a house show, are about to face the Rougeaus.

Bushwackers vs. The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers

The Rougeau’s music of We’re All American Boys is nothing short of awesome. Just an awesome song and one of Jimmy Hart’s great touches. The Bushwackers are just out there even by today’s standards. How these guys lasted nearly 6 years in a completely different gimmick than they started with is beyond me.

The Battering Ram is one of the dumbest yet most awesome moves I’ve ever seen. Now this is a match that I remember only one thing about. During a scoop slam, Luke of the Bushwackers clearly rubs Ray Rougeau crotch. It’s not on accident either. He puts his hand there and rubs up and down. Just a disturbing sight.

Other than that this is nothing but a comedy match. The 80s were so awesome in the area of tag wrestling that they even managed to have jobber tag teams on a regular basis. There’s nothing going on here with the Bushwackers running around for a minute, the Rougeaus controlling for two minutes and the finish. To end this in a hurry, Bushwackers win with their rib breaker move.

Rating: D-. The crotch rub never fails to surprise me. Just not something I want to think about. The match completely sucked though and just never went anywhere at all. What is with all these fillers? DiBiase vs. Beefcake is by far the biggest matchup so far and even it is nothing special and could have been on any house show that year. Weak show so far and a weak match here.

Sean Mooney, one of my all time favorite broadcasters gets licked by a Bushwacker while talking to some fans in a pointless segment.

Mr. Perfect vs. The Blue Blazer

Yes that’s Owen Hart under the mask. This is another match that is more or less just there for the sake of being there but it should be pretty good. Perfect is still undefeated here. Jesse thinks this is going to be tremendous. Hennig gets a nice hiptoss to start.

He slaps the Blazer and doesn’t get drilled as a result for some reason. Ah there’s the slap and Owen speeds things up a bit. And then we slow them right back down. Baseball slide hits Perfect. Owen was WAY ahead of his time here as he could move like no one else could and was busting out Japanese and European stuff which was unheard of in America at this time.

Blazer is dominating here as Perfect has no idea what to do with him. BIG top rope splash eats knees though. That looked awesome as he got way up in the air and nailed the knees perfectly. Jesse has a surprise for Gorilla.

Powerslam by Blazer gets two and a belly to belly gets two as well. Jesse thinks Perfect has Mania jitters. Crucifix gets two for Blazer. And then a big shot gets Perfect the advantage. Perfectplex gets the easy pin.

Rating: B-. Pretty solid little match here with both guys moving very well. It was speed/flying vs. technical style out there and it worked very well. It helps having two guys that can work a variety of styles. Perfect hit two moves the whole match which hurts this though. Still solid stuff and Owen looked awesome in this.

Yet again, Jesse is introduced to the crowd as a “major Hollywood star” (he had done some supporting roles in some fairly big movies like Predator). There was apparently a 5K run with Mr. Fuji, in tuxedo and bowler hat, running in a decent time. He’s in the handicap tag title match later on if you’re wondering what the heck this is for. He finishes without even breathing hard and Lord Alfred Hayes suspects shenanigans.

Now for something just completely out of place, Run DMC performs the Wrestlemania Rap. This thing goes on and on and on.

Tag Titles: Mr. Fuji and Powers of Pain vs. Demolition

Storyline on this: Demolition was by far and away the most dominant tag team the late 80s had ever seen. They held the titles for about a year and a half which is still the longest amount of time ever. They were brought in as heels around Wrestlemania 3 and won the belts at Wrestlemania 4. Sometime between 3 and 4, they got Mr. Fuji as a manager.

Over the course of the summer, the fans realized how truly awesome Demolition was and they began to cheer them. Around the same time, the Powers of Pain, comprised of the Warlord and the Barbarian debuted as faces. The problem was more people liked Demolition than the PoP. So what was the solution you ask? The answer was the incredibly difficult and even rarer double turn.

At the 1988 Survivor Series, the teams had been feuding over the tag belts and were captains of their respective Survivor Series teams. Late in the match, Fuji pulled the top rope down and Smash fell over the ropes and landed on the floor. Ax got in Fuji’s face about it and Fuji answered with I’m The Boss! Demolition beat up Fuji and were counted out. The Powers of Pain helped him up and soon thereafter he was their manager.

So all of that leads us here to the showdown with Fuji and his team in a 3-2 match with Demolition for the tag titles. Fuji does what Heenan did last year with a shot here and a shot there, but at least with Fuji he had a very successful tagging career, including a reign that at the time was the longest in the history of the title. This match is what you would expect from it.

The formula is exactly what you would expect in a match like this. Demolition beats down the Powers, they beat them back, Fuji comes in and beats them up a bit, which is to say he kicks them twice, and then he runs away. This isn’t anything we haven’t seen a thousand times before and it’s not particularly entertaining. Naturally it gets about 9 minutes.

Demolition holds their own but eventually gets beaten up by all three, until Fuji makes a mistake. He misses an elbow from the top rope which is impressive in its own right, then eventually throws salt that was his trademark but misses. He’s then hit with the Demolition Decapitation, which might be the worst double team move of all time, and pinned.

Rating: C-. I liked this match but then again I like Demolition. Fuji actually knew how to wrestle and was only in his early 50s at the time so he still could go in the ring to an extent. Demolition is a simple team at heart: beat the tar out of their opponents. That’s hard to mess up and they did it as well as any team ever did. The lack of drama hurts it a good deal though and it shows.

Tony Schiavone tries to talk to Macho Man but gets thrown out.

Ronny Garvin vs. Dino Bravo

Umm, ok? What the point to this match is I have no idea, but after the introductions, Jimmy Snuka is introduced to the crowd for some reason. Literally, they announce Bravo and Garvin, and then the Fink says there is a special guest tonight. Snuka comes out in full apparel and to his music and gets in the ring and poses. He has absolutely nothing to do with this match and isn’t seen again all night.

Anyway onto the match. I have never liked Ronny Garvin. The man just absolutely bores me to tears in the ring. How he became the NWA Champion and even defended it at Starrcade 87 is beyond me. Bravo was ok in the ring but just never really did it for me either. As I say that, Garvin puts on a sleeper which is perfect because I’m falling asleep watching this.

In a strange ending (Thank God) Garvin is up in the corner punching Bravo but gets caught with an atomic drop and is side suplexed to pin him. Garvin gets up and hits Bravo and then uses what has to be the stupidest finisher of all time on Bravo’s manager, the Garvin Stomp. Randy Orton I believe has used this recently. He starts at the arm and goes around the body stomping the opponent. Just looks bad.

Rating: F. I was bored to tears and don’t like either one. This is a biased rating and I could care less. This is a Ronnie Garvin match and therefore it sucks.

Strike Force vs. The Brainbusters

Strike Force (a breath of fresh air after that awful match that just aired) is teaming together for the first time in a long time. Martel was injured by Demolition and was gone for almost a year. In the time off, Santana wrestled in singles matches. Upon Martel’s return, he asked Tito to reform Strike Force which he eventually did. This is their first match back against Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard. After this match, the Busters would go on to feud with Demolition over the tag belts.

It sounds wrong to hear Gorilla talking about a Horsemen match and calling them a couple of really tough dudes. Jesse and Gorilla bickering is always funny. it says a lot when Martel is by far the worst technician in a match. Big brawl to start and surprisingly Strike Force wins it.

Martel gets a very nice counter from a body scissors into the Boston Crab. That was impressive. Everything breaks down and Strike Force gets a pair of Figure Fours which has to be at least a mini-rib on the Horsemen.

And now we get the meat of the match as Tito accidentally drills Martel with his flying forearm and down he goes onto the floor. After about a minute Martel gets back up but he’s all shaken up. The Busters work the referee and the tag rules like the masters that they are.

Santana keeps trying to come back and finally does by slamming Arn off the top. Yeah that has to be a rib. Tito finally gets away and goes for the tag but Martel won’t tag and then leaves, heading to the dressing room.

Arn yells at Santana WHERE’S YOUR PARTNER to just be a jerk. The ramp/aisle is really long here so it takes Martel like two minutes to get back. Tito fights back as well as he can but he’s outnumbered and after a few minutes the spike piledriver ends it.

Rating: B-. Half tag and half handicap so it’s unique if nothing else. I always liked both teams and I like what I see here. The post match promo is solid too so it gets a good grade. Very interesting here as this obviously causes the split between the two. They would feud on and off for nearly two years after this with neither one really winning the feud. What’s forgotten in this is the Brainbusters. They are their usually great selves and but on a solid match.

Martel blames Tito and says it was Tito’s idea to reform the team and all that jazz. This is his heel turn if you didn’t get that. He wouldn’t be a face again for like 8 years until he was in WCW.

Piper’s Pit

This gets one of the biggest pops of the nights. One of the funniest lines I’ve heard in a long time from the Fink: I am pleased to introduce to you a man who needs no introduction. We get a really long intro for Piper and out comes the man that creeped me out more than anyone else as a kid: Brother Love.

Seriously, the guy had a red face. That’s just incredibly scary looking to a two year old. Throw in his voice and it’s just scary. His character was based on high energy Christian televangelists such as Jimmy Swaggert. You all might know him better as Bruce Pritchard who was a creative team member until a few months ago.

Love then says his guest on the Brother Love show is Rodney Piper. He then imitates Piper in something that is either dead on or awful and I can’t tell which. He asks questions as Love and takes his glasses off and changes chairs to be Piper. Then out comes the guest, Morton Downey Jr.

This show aired nearly 20 years ago and until I looked him up just seconds ago, I had no freaking clue who this guy was and I’ve seen this PPV at least 30 times. Turns out he was a talk show host that was the inspiration for Springer, Maury etc. His show was viewed as amazingly Right Wing based and he would often berate anyone that disagreed with him. He was later replaced by Rush Limbaugh.

Anyway, Downey is smoking a cigarette which Gorilla refers to as weed. This made my jaw drop. Gorilla said he was puffing on weed. Gorilla Monsoon isn’t supposed to talk about weed blast it! Downey trash talks with Brother Love until they’re interrupted by the Fink who says Piper really is here. Out comes Piper for his first WWF appearance in 2 years.

Piper talks down to Love because of the kilt that Love is wearing. He asks him questions but keeps pulling the mic away saying he doesn’t want to know that badly. I’d forgotten how funny Piper was in his prime. He turns his attention to Downey who is still smoking and keeps blowing smoke into Piper’s face which Piper doesn’t approve of. Downey keeps using the standard insults.

My favorite line: Piper mentions that Downey used to have warts all over his face. Piper: What did you with the warts? Downey: I gave them to a homeless warthog. Piper: (without missing a beat) I didn’t know your girlfriend was homeless. Downey calls Piper is a transvestite before blowing more smoke in his face.

Piper asks for a cig for himself. Downey turns to light it and for no reason at all, Piper has a fire extinguisher under his chair. In probably his second most famous bit after the coconut, Piper sprays him down and leaves.

About as appropriately as possible, Downey would die of lung cancer in 2001.

BREAKING NEWS-Hulk Hogan is making a movie! It’s called No Holds Barred. That movie truly was nine kinds of awesome.

Sean Mooney is talking to Donald Trump. Apparently WM 4 and 5 have been successes.

Jesse is TICKED OFF. Hogan is invading his territory because after he loses to Macho he needs a job. Jesse says he can drive his limo and storms off. Gorilla plugs the movie again and recaps the show so far. We get a video recapping the Mega Powers rise to glory and their split.

Hogan says he can’t believe how this all came about in just a year. He goes into another of his insane promos about everyone being swallowed up by the Earth when the Trump Towers fall apart. Makes little if any sense. Then he talks about winning the title.

Andre the Giant vs. Jake Roberts

Big John Studd is the referee here for no apparent reason. He comes out to what would become Jim Duggan’s music oddly enough. No real reason is given as to why he’s the referee here. Andre is back with Heenan. The point of this match is Andre is terrified of snakes.

This resulted in a scene on television where Andre had a “heart attack” when Jake put the snake on him, yet he’s wrestling again just a few months later. Remarkable. Around this time, Jake was insanely popular, arguably the third biggest face in the company after only Hogan and Warrior.

Somehow before the match starts one of the turnbuckle pads is off and Roberts gets slammed into it. Gorilla says that Jake is like David against Goliath and Jesse says David had to use a foreign object to beat him which makes me want to write the Bible from a wrestling perspective one day. In a funny bit Andre chokes Jake in the corner and Studd goes to count Andre and you literally can’t see Jake other than his feet. Jake stood 6’5.

It’s your standard Andree match from this era. He just could not move to save his life at this point and was a complete shell of his former self. They do the tied up in the ropes spot and Andre is reeling. More pain and punishment goes in until Heenan gets the arm loose and here comes your unfriendly and not likely from your neighborhood Giant.

Something happens in this match that I’ve never been sure of. Andre is throwing shoulders to Jake’s ribs in the corner and falls backwards and down to one knee. He doesn’t hit his head on anything that I can see. Always thought that was just odd. Andre and Studd finally fight while DiBiase of all people runs out and steals the bag with the snake in it. Roberts catches him and throws the snake in the ring to get rid of Andre. Jake wins via DQ.

Rating: D. This is just a strange combination. Andre just didn’t mesh well with most because he was too freaking big. Roberts tried his best but it didn’t go that well. Studd served no real purpose here at all either. They tried but it didn’t work that well.

Sherri will get the title back apparently and doesn’t like Liz at all.

Rhythm and Blues vs. The Hart Foundation

The newly face Harts face off with their old manager’s new team of Honky Tonk Man and Greg Valentine. To me this was just before Bret’s prime. He’s so smooth in the ring that I’m gaining a new respect for him. The announcers refer to Pat Patterson as a relic. That’s just amusing.

This is the most basic of basic tag matches I can remember in a long time. I mean NOTHING happens here. The faces start in control, the heels take over and dominate for a bit, then we get a hot tag and the finish begins.

Honky hits the Shake Rattle and Roll on Bret but he tags in Hammer for the figure four which clearly is a mistake. Back and forth and Jimmy tosses in the Megaphone which is intercepted. After a solid shot to Honky’s shoulder Neidhart pins him.

Rating: D+. Bret makes this one pretty good for a glorified squash. This went nowhere at all and it’s MORE FILLER. We’ve had ONE match break ten minutes tonight: the Beefcake match got up to 10:01. That’s saying a lot. Just another match that went absolutely nowhere at all.

We get a recap of the Warrior/Rude feud. It involves a posedown and a lot of talking.

Intercontinental Title: Rick Rude vs. Ultimate Warrior

The idea of this is the two competed for who had the best body. They had a pose off at the Royal Rumble and Rude attacked the Warrior with a steel exercise bar. Not much of a story but this was the second biggest match on the card.

For some reason that God alone knows, these two had freaks chemistry together. It’s rare to ever see a bad match between them. I have no idea why this is the case but that’s how it always was with them. To have one of the worst workers ever and another who’s character was great but in the ring wasn’t great but wasn’t bad either be able to put on such solid matches really is a strange thing.

Warrior beats the heck out of Rude early on. This is a good beating and Rude sells it like there’s no tomorrow. Warrior works the back with some very powerful whip ins and a BIG bearhug. It looks like it’s going to be a quick little match but a piledriver slows Warrior down and it’s Rude in control.

Rude’s back is injured but he stays in the game as long as he can. Rude beats on him for nearly four or five minutes as he becomes one of the only people to actually beat down the Warrior and have success at it.

And so much for that as Warrior makes his comeback but as he’s trying to suplex Rude back in Heenan hooks his leg and holds it for the pin and the huge upset. Heenan gets beaten up by Warrior afterwards and because Warrior was so bad in the ring he legitimately hurt Bobby in this.

Rating: B. While not the best workers and a weak story, they again manage to put on a good match. I didn’t give it the description it deserves but that’s really all there was to it. Very well done though. The freaky chemistry these two had continue and I have never gotten it at all.

Jim Duggan vs. Bad News Brown

This is the epitome of a filler. Nothing of note happens here at all as it’s a brawl that the announcers don’t care about at all. It’s about 3 minutes long and ends in a chair vs. 2×4 duel that Duggan wins.

Rating: F. No one cared and they knew it.

Red Rooster vs. Bobby Heenan

Backstory: Rooster, who has what to me is the worst gimmick of all time, (he literally acted like a rooster, complete with going cock-a-doodle-doo and strutting like one. He passed up the Mr. Perfect gimmick and got this instead) used to work for Heenan but Heenan said he wasn’t that good. This is the Rooster trying to get revenge.

Heenan comes out with the Brooklyn Brawler. This match literally doesn’t last a minute. Heenan jumps the Rooster and whips him into the corner. Rooster gets out of the way and Heenan hits the post and is covered for the pin. Brawler comes in and beats up Rooster who fights back and wins. Wow.

Rating: N/A. This was a total waste of time. But hey, the Brooklyn Brawler got PPV time!

We recap the WWF Title match. Hogan helped Savage win it a year ago and then more or less stole the spotlight for the next year. Liz got involved and Savage thought she was sleeping with Hogan. He went off on him on February 3 (I was turning 1) and turned heel, setting this up.

Hogan says Savage went crazy. That’s just amusing. This is the promo where Hogan absolutely loses his mind and goes on a rant about the building being swallowed up by the Earth or something and Donald Trump being worried about falling into the ocean.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Savage

They were trying to make this the second coming of Hogan/Andre but there was far less mystery of who was going to win. Liz is at ringside as an independent observer and she actually does just that: nothing. This match has the big match feel to it but looking back it was obvious which way it was going. Savage comes out first if that tells you anything.

Liz gets her own entrance and Jesse says she’ll leave with whoever wins. Gorilla says that sounds smart to him. To say this match is huge is a dramatic understatement. Jesse: this is what the term main event is used for. This is the main event. He’s absolutely right too as this drew INSANE money as they had built up the mega match between these two forever.

Hogan shoves Savage with ease and there he goes. The announcers argue about managers which is kind of funny. Savage keeps running in fear from Hogan and it’s basic stuff so far. He throws Liz in front of a Hogan punch but Hulk stops in time.

There’s Hogan’s wrestling quota for the year as he uses a four move combination to break down Savage and get a front facelock. Savage overpowers him in a surprise by backdropping him. Savage takes over a bit by getting a top rope double axe in. The champion works the arm for some reason. LONG sequence with the arm and then a headlock as we fill in time.

Hogan gets an atomic drop to counter but misses an elbow drop. Hogan’s eye was cut earlier on and it gets rammed into the buckle to open it up even worse. Savage slaps him and here comes Hulk. He slams Savage to the floor and Liz helps him up. They fight on the floor and Hogan gets rammed into the post.

Now Liz helps Hogan up. I guess she wants a double team later on. Hebner, the cock blocker that he is, throws Liz out. Savage hits the double axe off the top to send Hogan’s throat into the railing. Steamboat was out for three months because of that. It doesn’t even get two on Hogan. Savage slams him and there’s the big elbow. Hogan shoves him off, three punches, big boot, big leg, you know the drill I think. Lots of posing ends the show.

Rating: C+. Well it’s not bad, but the problem here is that it is completely underwhelming. This was supposed to be the biggest match ever and it’s just pretty standard fort he most part. Hogan wins the title again and shrugs off Savage’s best move. Not a fan of that at all but it’s the 80s so what are you going to do?

Overall Rating: D+. This is the first of the second era of Wrestlemanias that follows the now traditional Wrestlemania formula. There’s some ok stuff on here and it probably has the oddestok card yet. Pretty much every big star is here, the titles have good matches, the midcard matches are bad, and you have the WM main event.

This show also has the first instance of setting the stage for the future. 1989 was the first year of the big four PPVs so there were other feuds that would be needing to be closed at big shows. Feuds like Hogan and Perfect which sparked Hogan and Warrior, Roberts against DiBiase, and the continuation of Warrior and Rude which led to Warrior against the Heenan Family all spawned from this.

You could arguably call this the first standard Wrestlemania, and I would just barely give it that name over WM 3. Overall this is pretty weak show and the problem with it is mainly the match lengths. TWO matches broke ten minutes and one went past 10:01. I used to really like this one but it doesn’t hold up at all. Pretty bad show but it’s watchable I suppose. That’s about it.

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Superstars of Wrestling
Date: January 23, 1988
Location: Von Braun Civic Center, Huntsville, Alabama
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura, Bruno Sammartino

Smackdown is still loading and probably will be for awhile so let’s take a look at the show the day before the inaugural Royal Rumble. I’d be shocked if that show is actually discussed though, as this show was likely taped weeks in advance. Also we’re getting closer and closer to the Hogan title loss which should be interesting. Let’s get to it.

Usual intro.

Randy Savage vs. Barry Horowitz

Vince goes into his usual I LOVE LIZ stuff. Given his well known female exploits, thank goodness this is when Vince was just a commentator. Savage hits the ax from the top both inside the ring and out to the floor. Peggy Sue (Sherri as Honky’s girl) says stay away from her man. Knee drop gets two. The big elbow ends this.

Update on Matilda who is back. The Islanders are reinstated but everyone hates them now. We get some clips of the announcement that Matilda is back. The Islanders and Heenan aren’t worried about Matilda’s condition. The Bulldogs say Matilda is in bad shape and won’t eat, meaning she’s lost a lot of weight.

Ricky Hunter/W.D. Wellington vs. Butch Reed/One Man Gang

Vince talks about an address that you can send get well cards to Matilda at. Vince: “I’m sure the British Bulldogs read the cards to Matilda.” Jesse: “I’d bet she has to read them to the Bulldogs.” Muraco wants the Gang and Reed. Reed runs over Hunter to start and it’s off to Gang for some pounding. An elbow nearly kills Hunter so it’s off to Wellington. Back to Reed who uses Nikolai’s gorilla press into a backbreaker. Gang hits a gordbuster for the pin. Total domination.

We talk about a New Haven show with a cage match. It’ll be a six man tag in there. We hear about the rest of the card and Jimmy Hart comes in to talk about the six man tag (Savage/Strike Force vs. Honky/Harts).

Joe Mirto/Iron Mike Sharpe vs. Ken Patrea/Billy Jack Haynes

Haynes and Sharpe start us off and Sharpe gets in some offense. Off to Patera vs. Mirto and we hear from Demolition, who is having a small feud with Haynes and Patera. Jesse talks about Hogan vs. Andre II on February 5. Kind of strange that we hear about that but not the Rumble. A quick full nelson to Mirto gets the submission for Haynes.

More house show stuff, this time with Bravo and Frenchy Martin saying they’re ready for Hillbilly Jim. Rude comes in and says he’s beat Koko B. Ware.

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. Rex King/Van Van Horne/Sam Houston

Houston and Davis start us off and Davis is in trouble early. Off to Horne and then King, who is taken down by Davis. What does it mean when Danny Davis is beating you up? Anvil comes in and the power moves begin. Bret does a few things and it’s back to Davis. Houston makes a small comeback but Bret trips him up. The Hart Attack kills Houston and Davis gets the easy pin. This was nothing, although Jesse called referee Joey Marella she for some reason.

We get a clip of Greg Valentine attacking Koko after beating him until Beefcake made the save. Jimmy got a haircut with the big hedge clippers.

Andre and DiBiase are in the arena to talk about February 5. DiBiase says he warned everyone that he would find a way to buy the world title and Andre is that way. Andre says he’ll break Hogan apart and choke him down. DiBiase says the fans won’t mean anything to Hulk then. Maniacal laugh, maniacal laugh, maniacal laugh.

Jim Duggan vs. Steve Lombardi

Duggan pounds on him and Lombardi’s shots to the head do nothing. Duggan has a hard head and is stupid you see. A kneedrop and slam set up the three point clothesline for the pin.

Bad News Brown says he’s the only news.

Harley Race/Hercules/Rick Rude vs. Jerry Allen/Lanny Poffo/Scott Casey

Poffo does a quick poem about the Slammys. Casey and Herc start but it’s quickly off to Rude. Ok make that Race. Everyone on the jobber team gets beaten up by all of the Heenan team. Hercules racks Allen for the tap out. Total squash.

Savage and Strike Force say they’re ready for the cage match.

Vince previews next week’s show to end this.

Overall Rating: D+. Pretty boring show this week but again they’re like 40 minutes long so they’re easy to do. We’re on the verge of hitting it huge with these angles too so it’s worth sitting through this part to get to the big stuff. Ton of squashes here as you would expect, but the talk of Hogan vs. Andre makes me drool.

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As you know, Wrestlemania 4 had a tournament format. If you didn’t know that, go read about it below. Anyway short question today: how would you have booked it? The only rules: you have to keep the same people in the tournament and Hogan vs. Savage is the main event of Wrestlemania 5 no matter what.  I’m not much of a booker, but here’s what I would have done:I like the original plan which had DiBiase beating an exhausted Hogan in the finals, likely through cheating.    Have Andre knocks Hogan out, Savage runs out for the save but Hogan is out cold in the Million Dollar Dream, and DiBiase stands tall to end the show.  I know it’s a big stretch for the 80s, but how hot would the house shows have been for Hogan vs. DiBiase?  The idea here is that it gives DiBiase the summer to chase Hogan, you have Savage win the title at the first Summerslam and then the Mega Powers Explode as was carved into stone for Mania 5.

Can-Am Connection vs. Orton/Muraco.  This is going to sound strange but I think it might have been.Now before everyone pelts me with bottles and rotten vegetables, think about this for a minute.  The point of an opening match is to get the crowd fired up but not to be too flashy.  This is something that WWE has changed in modern Wrestlemanias: the show’s opener is usually a big match, last year even being for the world title.  With this one though, you get a quick match that has nothing significant to it, but it’s well put together with power vs. speed and good vs. bad.  It’s a fine example of how to open a show and the crowd is warmed up for the main courses now.  I’ll likely get ripped apart for this, but I think it might be the best opening match ever at this PPV.  Note that I said best opening match, not best match that opened the show.  Two different things.

 

Thoughts?