Wrestling Challenge
Date: October 18, 1986
Location: War Memorial, Rochester, New York
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

We’re back to this after nearly two years away and while that should usually make for some slight confusion, it isn’t like there is much to remember around here. We are on the way to pretty much nothing right now, but there are enough feuds to keep things interesting. I’ve always liked this show so odds are I’ll have a good time with it again. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s who to expect on the show.

Koko B. Ware vs. Steve Lombardi

During his entrance, Ware talks about the importance of Frankie, who Heenan wants in a back of Shane N Bake. Lombardi tries a quick takedown and gets blocked, sending Monsoon and Heenan into a funny argument over Ware’s intelligence or lack thereof. Ware claps a lot and sends Lombardi shoulder first into the post. An elbow to the face sets up the Ghostbuster (brainbuster) to give Ware the pin at 2:38. The smash cut to a closeup of Frankie the bird’s face is quite jarring.

We go to Wrestlers’ Rebuttal, with Roddy Piper comparing Don Muraco and Bob Orton to various pests, such as flies and roaches. Muraco would need a surfboard the size of the Bismark to get him into the water and just hurting Piper’s knee isn’t going to get rid of him. Not much time here but Piper got in some good lines as usual.

We go to a spa where Paul Orndorff gets his hair and nails done, along with a shoe shine because he demands perfection. As you might guess, he isn’t overly polite, even as he’s having his sneakers shined. The ranting and raving goes on for quite awhile.

Paul Orndorff vs. Tony Parks

Bobby Heenan is with Orndorff, who has the stolen real American theme in one of my favorite angles that needs to be brought back. Johnny V joins in on commentary and likes Orndorff having the song because it’s just such a perfect fit. Orndorff starts fast with a suplex and stomps away. The beating goes to the floor before a clotheslines drops Parks back inside. The piledriver finishes (with a hand to the ear on the cover) for Orndorff at 1:25.

Tito Santana wants to see Roddy Piper against either Don Muraco or Bob Orton. After speaking some Spanish to his fans, Santana promises to keep coming after Randy Savage and the Intercontinental Title.

Dick Slater vs. Bob Bradley

Yeah it’s the Rebel Dick Slater, which went as well as you would expect. Especially in a northern state like New York. Slater takes him into the corner to start but possibly crooked referee Danny Davis breaks it up. We get an inset interview from Davis (as luck would have it), where he says he doesn’t care about all the letters fans are sending in to criticize his abilities. What do they know about refereeing? A small package gives Slater two and Bradley tries a crossbody, with Slater ducking to send Bradley flying over the top in a great visual. Slater suplexes him down and hits a top rope elbow to the head for the pin at 3:02.

Rating: C-. Slater just had nothing to make him stand out in this role. He’s usually good when he’s more of a crazy evil southern/country boy but here he’s just a generic good guy with a rebel flag jacket. It’s not interesting and there’s no way around it, which was on display here. It’s a bad sign when the most memorable moment is a jobber missing a crossbody and crashing to the floor, but it’s more interesting than anything Slater was doing.

The Rougeau Brothers are still undefeated and want the Tag Team Titles. Jacques throws in some French for some flavor. Apparently he said he’s glad to meet French speaking fans on the road because that’s their native language.

Dream Team vs. Rick Hunter/Jerry Allen

Johnny V is here with the Dream Team as Valentine slams Allen down to start. We get an insert interview from V about being friends with Bobby Heenan, just in case you needed his evilness confirmed. Beefcake comes in to shrug off Hunter’s forearms and hit a powerslam. An elbow sets up the Figure Four to finish Hunter at 2:39.

And now, the Snake Pit. Jake Roberts says this is his place at his time so welcome to the theater of the cruel but fair. The guest if Junkyard Dog, who isn’t interested in being around snakes. Roberts accuses him of being superstitious and they argue about a potential match. Dog says the only things anyone is going to make him do is stay Black and die. He’s still done with the snake and we’re done after a kind of weird argument.

Sika vs. Jose Luis Rivera

Sika has the Wizard with him and jumps Rivera to start fast. Some forearms to the back set up a chinlock as Wizard gets an insert promo about….a shark’s tooth? The chinlock goes on again but Rivera fights up. A dropkick has no effect though and a running headbutt gives Sika the win at 2:07.

We meet the British Bulldogs’ new mascot Matilda, with Bobby Heenan coming up to insult her. The Bulldogs threaten Heenan with the removal of his leg and he’s gone.

British Bulldogs vs. Rudy Diamond/Steve Regal

Non-title and as always, no not that Regal. I’m not sure why Diamond doesn’t get a name graphic. Some headbutts rock Regal to start and a snap suplex takes him down again. Diamond comes in and gets taken down just as fast, with Kid dropping a knee. The running powerslam connects but Regal makes the save. That earns him a fireman’s carry and Kid comes in with a headbutt off Regal’s back for the pin at 2:16. Total squash.

Slick talks about his newest signee, Butch Reed, who will be a great addition to his team. Nikolai Volkoff and the Iron Sheik come in to pose as well. They want the Tag Team Titles and more posing ensues.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

The usual highlight package wraps us up.

Overall Rating: C-. Not one of their more thrilling shows this week, as the people featured were only so interesting. Granted it helps when the card is full of squashes as it allows more wrestlers to get on the show, but 45 minutes of such matches are only going to get you so far. The Orndorff and Piper stuff was good, but that shouldn’t be a surprise in the slightest. Still though, this stuff is such a breeze compared to everything else as it’s such a different style than modern wrestling, which makes it a great change of pace.

 

 

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Saturday Night’s Main Event XXI
Date: May 27, 1989
Location: Veterans Memorial Auditorium, Des Moines, Iowa
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura

Time for another one almost thirty five years in the making. This one might not be the most well known, but it has one of the most famous matches in the show’s history. This time around we have Hulk Hogan vs. the Big Moss Man inside a steel cage with a spot you might have seen before. Let’s get to it.

Hulk Hogan is ready to pass sentence on Big Boss Man and Slick. He is the judge, jury and executioner. Hogan LOVED that line and used it on probably three Saturday Night’s Main Events at minimum.

Oddly, Boss Man and Slick don’t get a rebuttal.

Opening sequence. I could listen to that song for at least several minutes.

Vince and Jesse welcome us to the show, with Jesse being extra sick of Hogan due to No Holds Barred.

We look at Bobby Heenan cheating Ultimate Warrior out of the Intercontinental Title at Wrestlemania.

Heenan denies cheating to help Rick Rude win the title, because it was all about winning. Jim Duggan is dreaming of winning the title, so Rude is ready to give him a Rude Awakening.

Jim Duggan (now the King) dedicates the match to the troops on Memorial Day weekend and suggests that Rick Rude is, uh, pink. Duggan is going to keep one eye on Bobby Heenan and one eye on Old Glory. Well not looking at your opponent doesn’t sound like a good way to win a match.

Intercontinental Title: Jim Duggan vs. Rick Rude

Rude, with Bobby Heenan, is defending. They stare at each other to start and then lock up for a grapple around the ropes. Duggan blocks a sunset flip with a right hand and then hits the running clothesline over the top. A knee drop gives Duggan two but he charges into a knee in the corner. Duggan is right back with an atomic drop and you know Rude is all about settling one of those. Another knockdown gets three but Rude’s foot is on the rope.

Cue Haku to yell at Duggan and be taken to the back as we take a break. Back with Rude raking the eyes and dropping an elbow for two, setting up the chinlock. Duggan fight sup but gets dropped with another knee. A top rope fist to the head puts Duggan down but of course ramming him into the buckle just wakes him up. The three point clothesline sends Rude outside and it’s a countout at 7:17.

Rating: C+. In case you were wondering what the most 1989 WWF match ever could be. Duggan is a great choice to come after Rude because he’s a big enough name to possibly be a threat and the fans loved him. They were also smart enough to have Rude escape with the title without beating Duggan, which was always a possibility.

Naturally Duggan seems to think he’s the champion, even if he’s still the King no matter what.

Jim Neidhart doesn’t like the way Randy Savage has been acting, including when he was the WWF Champion. Apparently if Savage wants the title back, he has to go through Neidhart. Huh? He’s not scared of Scary Sherri either.

Randy Savage is rather pleased with his new manager and is ready to take out Neidhart and then face Hulk Hogan again.

Randy Savage vs. Jim Neidhart

Sherri is here too. Savage bails to the floor to start and Sherri grabs the leg, allowing Savage to try a sunset flip. That’s blocked with a simple sit but Savage is back up with some shots to the face. Sherri chokes away from the floor and then does it again but Savage’s slam attempt goes rather poorly. Sherri offers a distraction on the floor but Neidhart cuts off Savage’s cheap shot and hits a dropkick. A powerslam gives Neidhart two and Savage is tied in the ropes, only for Sherri to break him out. The top rope ax handle sends Neidhart into the barricade and the big elbow finishes for Savage at 5:57.

Rating: C+. This was just a way to get Savage back on the winning path after losing the title at Wrestlemania. Neidhart is kind of a perfect choice for this spot as he is a name but won’t be hurt by losing a match to one of the biggest stars in the company. It wasn’t a great match and I don’t think it was expected to be, but it did what it was supposed to do.

The Big Boss Man, with Slick, is ready to beat Hulk Hogan and rehabilitate him. Slick promises a surprise for a bonus.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Big Boss Man

Boss Man, with Slick, is challenging in a cage. Hold on though as Slick has a surprise: ZEUS! So this is weird even by WWF standards, as Zeus (played by actor Tom Lister) is the villain in the movie No Holds Barred and wants revenge on Hogan for what happened in the movie. As in the “real life” actor Hogan is fighting the movie character. Hogan comes out and Zeus won’t let him in the case, instead beating Hogan down as Jesse is THRILLED.

Zeus leaves and Boss Man goes outside and sends Hogan inside for some choking. Hogan fights up with some rams into the cage and the big boot but it’s way too early to go over the top. Boss Man starts to go out but Slick tells him to beat on Hogan more, with commentary not being impressed. Hogan fights up, at least until Boss Man plants him with a spinebuster.

Boss Man starts going up, with Ventura having no idea why he wouldn’t just go through the door. He gets most of the way down but Hogan finally gets up and grabs him through the cage. They go back up onto the top rope and Hogan SUPERPLEXES HIM DOWN for an absolutely massive spot from its era (and not a bad one in modern times either).

They’re both down so the referee comes in for the slowest count in recent memory. Hogan pops up (and the fans are with him) and goes for the door but Boss Man cuts him off with an uppercut. Slick throws in a chain (making sure to throw it over the top so people would see it) for some choking but a double ram into the buckle leaves both of them down again.

Back up and Hogan finds the chain to knock Boss Man silly. The legdrop connects but Slick rams the door onto the referee’s head. Slick goes in but gets knocked away, allowing Hogan to crotch Boss Man on the top rope. Boss Man gets handcuffed to the top rope and Hogan gets out before Slick can unlock him to retain at 10:02 (Ventura: “Wouldn’t you know it?”).

Rating: B. It’s not a particularly great match but DANG that superplex spot was huge and makes up for a lot of the weaker points. It’s entirely designed around that one moment and Hogan gets to come from behind and get a big win on TV to kick off his title reign. Boss Man was a great choice to go after the title and there’s a reason the two of them did some solid business together for a long time.

Post match Hogan beats up Slick for fun. He even puts on Slick’s hat, which doesn’t do much for him.

Bobby Heenan is ready for the Brainbusters to win the Tag Team Titles.

Demolition isn’t so convinced and promise destruction.

Tag Team Titles: Demolition vs. Brainbusters

The Brainbusters, with Bobby Heenan, are challenging. Smash shoves Blanchard into the corner to start and then knocks him to the floor without much trouble. Back in and the bearhug goes on but Heenan offers a distraction, allowing Anderson to get in a knee from behind. That doesn’t last long as Anderson comes in and gets beaten on by Ax. Anderson gets laid across the top rope and hammered down but comes right back with a suplex.

That has all of no effect on Smash, who hands it back to Ax for a slam to Blanchard. A bearhug has Blanchard in more trouble and an elbow to the face sends him outside. Heenan gets knocked down so he goes onto the apron and actually has to be taken into the aisle as we take a break.

Back with Ax working on a neck crank before Smash comes in to hammer on Blanchard. Anderson comes in with a cheap shot though as Heenan is calm at ringside again. Blanchard actually hits something like a top rope seated senton and Anderson adds the always great spinebuster. Smash almost gets over for the tag but Anderson trips him down and Blanchard decks Ax in a smart move. Stereo right hands knock Smash and Anderson down and it’s back to Ax, who knocks the referee down for the DQ at 9:15.

Rating: B. There is a reason this era is considered part of the gold standard for tag team wrestling. You had so many teams like this that you could throw out there and have a good match and that’s what you got with this one. The ending set up a rematch, which would see the Brainbusters take the titles on the next edition of the show, which isn’t something you would often get on this series.

Randy Savage declares himself the new #1 contender to the WWF Title and is ready to take away Hulk Hogan’s Hollywood looks.

Jimmy Snuka vs. Boris Zhukov

Slick is here with Zhukov and has a great exasperated look when Snuka’s music cuts off Zhukov’s singing. Ventura gets back from interviewing Savage and asks what he missed. Vince: “Absolutely nothing.” What a great endorsement of the show. Snuka wastes no time in striking away and hitting an ax handle. A backbreaker sets up the Superfly Splash (that always looked great) to finish Zhukov at 1:10.

Hulk Hogan talks about his issues with Zeus before, during and after filming No Holds Barred. Now come see the movie!

Vince and Jesse wrap it up and the credits roll.

Overall Rating: B+. I had a great time with this one and it’s one of the best episodes of the series. You have two rather awesome matches and a pair of good ones, plus an all time spot from the cage match. They picked a good one to bring out of mothballs here, as it’s a very fun show from an entertaining era, which made for a heck of a quick sit.

 

 

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Superstars
Date: May 30, 1992
Location: War Memorial, Syracuse, New York
Attendance: 4,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Mr. Perfect

This was thrown up on the WWE Vault and I could go for something from a different era. We’re done with Wrestlemania VIII and since it’s 1992, there is no pay per view for about three months. That means we could be in for a nice variety of things on this show and that is what I’m wanting to see. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Vince and Perfect talk about Papa Shango making black goo come down the Ultimate Warrior’s head last week. Since it’s National Dairy Month, Perfect turns this into some weird spoiled milk analogy and it really doesn’t work.

We run down this week’s card.

Legion Of Doom vs. Rich Mitchell/Kato

Animal backs Kato into the corner to start and leapfrogs over him, setting up a powerbomb. Vince talks about how the LOD gets their strength from ICO-PRO, promising to tell us about it more in the future. Kato gets dropped on the floor as we get an inset promo from the Beverly Brothers/The Genius, calling the LOD a bunch of sissies. The Doomsday Device finishes Mitchell at 1:48.

We go to UPDATE, presented by WBF Magazine. Gene Okerlund talks about the hold that Papa Shango has over the Ultimate Warrior and we get a look at Shango cursing him and causing him to have a bad stomach ache. Then Warrior vomited in the locker room. The next week, Warrior said the voodoo would be conquered…and black goo to come out of Warrior’s head. Ignore the jacket that Warrior has never worn before when this bad thing happens to him.

Papa Shango vs. Brian Brieger

Hold on though as Shango issues another curse, which causes the lights go to out…and lights Brieger’s boots on fire (with Brieger being knocked out as a result). Then goo comes out of his head. No match, due to goo and fire.

EVENT CENTER!

Tatanka is angry at Rick Martel for spraying Arrogance in his face and stealing his feather. Those were passed down to him and Martel is PUTTING THEM IN HIS HAT? That will not stand and Tatanka swears vengeance.

Repo Man talks about how hard it is to repossess cars because people don’t want him to take them. That’s why he takes them at night because it’s so much easier! He doesn’t like the British Bulldog either and threatens to choke him for barking too much. Well that’s violent.

Sgt. Slaughter vs. Bob Bradley

Commentary talks about the WBF as Bradley pokes him in the eyes to start. Slaughter shrugs that off and knocks him to the apron for an elbow. We get an insert promo from the Mountie, who promises to shock Slaughter. Some choking on the ropes sets up the cobra clutch to finish for Slaughter at 1:45.

We get an add for the WBF Championships, with Vince promising “prime beef.”

Rick Martel vs. Jim Powers

Martel cartwheels away from the threat of a monkey flip to start before we go to a Martel insert promo. As Martel promises to send “Buffalo Breath” onto the Trail Of Tears, Powers takes him down with some clotheslines. Powers armdrags him into an armbar for a bit before grabbing a sunset flip for two. Martel fights up without much trouble and puts on the Boston Crab for the win at 1:52.

Post match Martel sprays the feathers with Arrogance for good measure.

EVENT CENTER! AGAIN!

The Nasty Boys don’t like high fliers like High Energy.

Paul Bearer, with Undertaker, is ready to deal with the Berzerker. Undertaker: “Rest in H***.” Well that was intense.

Watch the Crunch Classic! If I remember right, that’s a bad idea.

Natural Disasters vs. Duane Gill/Mike Fury

The Disasters waste no time in clearing the ring as we get an insert promo from Money Inc., who don’t like the Disasters very much. Earthquake elbows Fury and the double splash in the corner makes it worse. Gill tries to make a save and Vince is amazed at the stupidity. Earthquake’s powerslam sets up the Earthquake, followed by Typhoon’s splash to finish Fury at 2:54.

Big Boss Man vs. Dave Roulette

Boss Man has been dealing with someone with a mysterious voice who has been rather threatening. An elbow to the face and the wind up uppercut have Roulette (great name) in trouble and the Boss Man Slam finishes at 1:05.

Post match Boss Man slaps him around a bit…and here is a man in a prison uniform through the crowd to hit Boss Man with the nightstick. Some knees to the head rock Boss Man and he gets handcuffed to the top rope. More nightstick shots and some kicks to the back have him in trouble as Vince is wondering where the referees are for the save. He is at least nice enough to uncuff Boss Man, only to cuff his hands behind his back and hit Boss Man in the face a few times.

This goes on for a long time until the prison guy walks out through the crowd. Boss Man is taken out on a stretcher and Mr. Perfect is VERY happy. To be fair, Boss Man does have a history of beating on people he’s handcuffed (it was his entire thing as a heel) so Vince screaming “OF COURSE HE DIDN’T DO THAT” is nonsense.

Berzerker vs. Glen Ruth

Mr. Fuji is here with Berzerker and Ruth is better known as Headbanger Thrasher (though you would never recognize him). Berzerker boots him in the face before the bell and hammers away before dropping a knee. That works so well that he drops a leg for a bonus and HUSSes a lot. Commentary completely ignores the match to talk about the Big Boss Man, even as Berzerker ties him in the ropes for some running boots. Berzerker tosses him over the top and gets the countout at 1:57 as Vince is wondering what has happened to scientific wrestling.

Crush is in a junkyard and is ready to crush various people.

EVENT CENTER! THE THIRD!

Sgt. Slaughter is NOT the Mountie because he doesn’t like the Mountie. The reality is Mountie should have been playing Taps for Slaughter, who promises to make Mountie snap, crackle and pop.

Bret Hart is ready to face anyone for the Intercontinental Title, including Shawn Michaels.

We preview next week’s show to wrap this one up.

Overall Rating: C+. While I had fun with the show just for the sake of the flashback, there was only so much to be seen here. This was quite the slow period for the company as they were trying to find the new generation but it wasn’t there yet. You could see that with a focus on people like the Big Boss Man and Sgt. Slaughter in a fairly prominent feud, plus the biggest name being a quick cameo from Hart at the end. It wasn’t exactly an eventful show, but it was nice to take a quick look back at a different era.

Results
Legion Of Doom b. Rich Mitchell/Kato – Doomsday Device to Mitchell
Sgt. Slaughter b. Bob Bradley – Cobra clutch
Rick Martel b. Jim Powers – Boston crab
Natural Disasters b. Duane Gil/Mike Fury – Splash to Fury
Big Boss Man b. Dave Roulette – Boss Man Slam
Berzerker b. Glen Ruth via countout

 

 

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WWF House Show
Date: April 22, 1985
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Gene Okerlund

This is one of those random house shows that was put up on the WWE Vault channel and there is a good chance that it was put up forty years to the day. We are just a few weeks after the first Wrestlemania and that means it is time for the fairly unexplored fallout period from the then biggest show of all time. Let’s get to it.

Junior Heavyweight Title: The Cobra vs. Barry O

Cobra is defending but doesn’t have the belt here, which has commentary confused. O (short for Orton, and he has a nephew named Randy) jumps him to start fast, with a slam and jumping elbow getting two. Cobra gets sent outside, followed by a neck crank back inside. A running in place powerslam gives O two and we pause for O to grab his own head. Cobra breaks out of a front facelock and slugs away, setting up a slam int a legdrop for two.

O kicks his way out of a sunset flip but gets caught in a headscissors, which has Monsoon annoyed at the referee for checking for a choke. That’s broken up and O hammers away, only to get backdropped into an armbar. As commentary talks about the various champions and contenders, O breaks out but gets caught with a top rope forearm to the head. A middle rope knee gives Cobra two but O gets in a shot of his own.

O’s rope walk splash misses and Cobra just starts slugging away with forearms, setting up a jumping spinwheel kick (that was a big spot in this era). A stomp to the stomach has O bailing to the floor for a needed breather before coming inside to beg for mercy. O grabs the leg for a spinning toehold but Cobra is right back up with another spinning kick. A dropkick puts O on the floor, setting up the slingshot dive. Cobra suplexes him back inside but misses a top rope backsplash. Back up and Cobra grabs a jumping hurricanrana for the pin to retain at 13:20.

Rating: B. Oh man this was starting to get really good in the end but they went home when they should have. The biggest issue here was the clash of styles, as Cobra was wrestling a more lucha style match while O was your traditional heel. Cobra was WAY different than almost anything you would see here and O kept up with him as well as he could. This was a lot of fun and WAY better than I would have expected.

Tatsumi Fujinami vs. Matt Borne

You know, because we needed another big international star. Fujinami isn’t interested in a handshake to start so they fight over a lockup and go to the ropes. Some forearms have Borne down as commentary talks about Fujinami’s footwork. A headlock takeover lets Fujinami crank on him a bit, with Borne getting up. Fujinami backflips out of a suplex and we’re right back to the headlock takeover.

Back up and some shots to the face have Fujinami in trouble for a change, allowing Borne to yell at the referee. The chinlock goes on, allowing Borne to yell at commentary for a change. The choking continues so commentary talks about Jack Nicholson (Okerlund: “One of the biggest athletic supporters in southern California.”). Fujinami fights up, only to get pulled back into a headscissors as I’m not sure if this is the best way to use his talents.

Borne cranks away for a bit before hammering away in the corner. A front facelock keeps the bored fans all the more bored, as does Borne cutting off the comeback attempt. Fujinami finally fights out of a chinlock and hits a dropkick for two. A clothesline puts Borne down again and a bridging German suplex finishes him off at 11:31.

Rating: D+. Gah what was that? This was the clash of styles I was expecting in the opener and it was rough to see as a result. Borne was wrestling a basic style and didn’t let Fujinami do much of anything. You’re only going to get so much out of any legend when you have Borne holding him in a front facelock for so long and it killed anything they could do here.

Jimmy Hart is ready for King Kong Bundy to wreck Swede Hanson. Bundy says Hanson is tough but he’ll look small when they’re in the ring. Then it’s time for Hulk Hogan.

Swede Hanson vs. King Kong Bundy

Hanson is a big guy from North Carolina. They fight over a lockup to start as we hear about Bundy’s nine second win at Wrestlemania, because timing isn’t wrestling’s strong suit. Hanson gets in a shot of his own to rock Bundy and the fans rather approve. Back up and Hanson is rocked with a running forearm but he comes back with a forearm to stagger Bundy again.

Bundy rakes the eyes though and slowly hammers away before sending Hanson face first into the buckle. The slow beating continues as commentary lists off the reasons this company is so awesome. Hanson starts Hulking Up (as Monsoon puts it) and some chops put Bundy in the corner. That’s cut off by a quick Avalanche into a big elbow to give Bundy the pin at 4:38.

Rating: C-. While still not a good match, this was Hanson making Bundy sweat a bit more before Bundy put him away. You could clearly see that Bundy was being built up for something bigger down the line and that would probably be someone in red and yellow. Having him beat various people over and over would build him up and that’s what we saw here.

British Bulldogs vs. Rene Goulet/Johnny Rodz

This is the Bulldogs’ MSG debut as the new generation is coming in. Rodz and Kid start things off but we pause for Goulet to do his thing with his glove. Actually Goulet starts and they lock up after nearly a minute of shenanigans. Kid’s headscissors doesn’t get him very far so he spins around into an armbar to take Goulet down instead. Smith comes in and actually gets shouldered down before Rodz throws her over the top.

Back up and Smith hits a quick dropkick before a knee to the ribs cuts him off again. Kid comes in with a missile dropkick for the save (that didn’t look great) into a nipup (that looked better), followed by a gutwrench suplex for two. Rodz breaks up the chinlock and Goulet comes back in for a knee drop. Kid avoids a diving headbutt though and it’s back to Smith, who is taken down as well.

Rodz elbows Smith down but misses a legdrop, meaning the vertical suplex can connect for two. It’s back to Goulet, who grabs a test of strength on the mat, only to get monkey flipped away. Smith muscles Rodz up for the running powerslam and then fireman’s carries Goulet. Kid climbs onto Goulet’s back and hits a top rope headbutt to pin Rodz at 8:12.

Rating: B-. Not a great match, but you could tell the Bulldogs needed some better opponents. They were a great example of a team with a nice balance of power and speed and it worked well. The finishing sequence alone felt like something different than anything else you would have seen around this time and if you get them the right competition, it would go great.

Ricky Steamboat vs. Moondog Spot

Steamboat starts fast with a hiptoss into a pose into a chop to the floor as the fans seem to like Steamboat so far. Spot stays on the floor long enough that Steamboat goes outside and counters a headlock into a posting. Back in and Spot takes over with a shot to the face and an atomic drop, setting up the chinlock. That’s broken up and Steamboat gets his usually great looking sunset flip which is blocked with a shot to the head.

It’s back to the chinlock as you can see why the Moondogs aren’t so well remembered in the ring. Back up and they collide for a double down, with Steamboat not being able to slam him either. Spot’s shoulder breaker gets two so he goes up, only to get slammed back down. Steamboat strikes away, setting up the high crossbody for the pin at 7:25.

Rating: C+. Steamboat knows how to make a comeback like no other and that was the case again here. Spot wasn’t exactly great in the ring but at least he was able to be a good opponent for Steamboat. Granted it helps when you’re in the ring with one of the best ever, as Steamboat was certainly able to make anyone look good.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Magnificent Muraco

Hogan is defending (shocking I know) and Muraco has Mr. Fuji with him. There are no entrances here, which means they didn’t want to edit out Eye Of The Tiger for Hogan. The place is just nuts for Hogan, even if he’s in the always weird looking white gear this time. A hiptoss and jumping knee send Muraco outside, followed by an armbar back inside.

That’s reversed into a slam but Hogan pulls him back down into a hammerlock (which didn’t seem to be the plan but they made a bit of a botch work fine). A legdrop onto the arm keeps Muraco in trouble and another armbar has what’s left of the arm in pain. Back up and Muraco seems to go low, setting up a pull of the leg to take Hogan down.

Muraco starts cranking on the leg but Hogan fights up and hits the corner clothesline. The big elbow misses though and Muraco drops some knees to keep Hogan down. The piledriver doesn’t work for Muraco and it’s time to Hulk Up, even though Hogan doesn’t quite have the sequence down yet. Muraco gets kicked out to the floor and Hogan follows, only for Fuji to offer a distraction. A ram into the apron/post keeps Hogan down for the countout at 13:36.

Rating: C+. This was a way to set up the rematch for the next month and that’s a fine way to go. Muraco is someone who was just big enough to feel like a threat without actually being one, though the fact that he wasn’t on Wrestlemania is a bit odd. Nice enough match to set up the ending though, with Muraco surviving most of the Hulk Up, which will make beating him all the better next time.

Post match Hogan grabs the belt and wants to keep fighting but cuts Muraco off from getting the title and chases him away.

Iron Sheik vs. Mike Rotundo

Freddie Blassie and Lou Albano are here too as Rotundo starts fast, taking Sheik down with a slam before he can even get his gear off. Sheik gets choked with his robe and sent outside for a needed breather. Rotundo grabs a headlock on the mat and cranks away a bit, followed by a sunset flip for two.

Back up and Sheik gets in a suplex before knocking Rotundo outside in a heap. A chinlock into a hammerlock doesn’t last long on Rotundo, who is back up with an atomic drop. Rotundo grinds away on a front facelock before sending Sheik outside for a change. Back in and Rotundo keeps it on the mat with a headlock, which makes sense for two people with deep amateur backgrounds.

Sheik comes back with some choking and sends him to the floor for a chair shot, which is fine with the referee for some reason. The abdominal stretch goes on, followed by the gutwrench suplex (which someone needs to bring back) but Rotundo manages his own suplex for two. Sheik misses a running knee in the corner and gets rolled up for the pin at 14:32.

Rating: B. This wound up being a heck of a match and probably the best Rotundo match I’ve ever seen. Sheik is best known as being almost a caricature for most of his career but he could have a good outing when he had the chance. This was a good example of two people having similar styles and meshing well together and that’s not a bad way to go.

Barry Windham vs. Nikolai Volkoff

Ah so it’s this kind of a show. Albano and Blassie are here again too. Windham works on the arm to start and cranks away at a wristlock. A rollup gets two on Volkoff and he claims a pull of the trunks. To be fair, there is quite a bit of trunk to pull. The arm cranking resumes with an armbar having Volkoff down but he comes back with a shot to the face. Some stomping has Windham in trouble and one heck of a gorilla press sends him flying.

The bearhug stays on the back, with Volkoff lifting him up and smiling about it like an evil powerhouse should. Windham fights out and grabs a sleeper, followed by a dropkick and atomic drop. A headbutt gives us a double down before Volkoff misses a charge into the post. Windham hammers away in the corner but the Iron Sheik comes in for the DQ at 12:29.

Rating: B-. This was another match that took me by surprise as the idea of Volkoff wrestling a good one is quite the odd thing to see. What matters the most here is that both guys were working hard and it was a solid showdown that made me want to see these teams fight again. Which they would, with Windham and Rotundo winning the titles back in about two months.

Post match the beatdown is on until Rotundo makes the save. Not bad for about thirty minutes between two singles matches to set up a tag rematch here. Though a six man tag with the managers would have been fun too.

The Fink hypes up the next MSG show on May 20. We run down the card, with Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff defending against the US Express (Windham/Rotundo) and Muraco vs. Hogan II. There is a bonus match too though, as Brutus Beefcake and Johnny V will team up against David Sammartino (the fans know what’s coming and are more than up for it) and….BRUNO SAMMARTINO (and there’s the monster pop).

Tito Santana and Junkyard Dog are ready for Greg Valentine and Brutus Beefcake.

Tito Santana/Junkyard Dog vs. Brutus Beefcake/Greg Valentine

Johnny V and Jimmy Hart are both here with the villains. It’s a brawl to start with Beefcake and Valentine being knocked to the floor in a hurry. We settle down to Dog and Beefcake running the ropes to start with Dog knocking him down without much trouble. Valentine’s cheap shot from the apron doesn’t work as Beefcake runs into him, allowing Santana to come in.

Santana whips them into each other again and grabs a chinlock on Beefcake. That’s broken up and it’s off to Valentine for a gutbuster to drop Santana. The chinlock goes on for a bit before Beefcake sends Santana outside. Back in and Valentine slowly hammers (there we go) away before Beefcake uses the trunks to cut off a tag attempt. Santana fights up and hammers away, which brings in the other two.

Okerlund is begging for a double DQ but we settle back down. That doesn’t last long as Santana crawls around and gets over to Dog for the house cleaning. A falling headbutt gets two on Valentine but a second one misses as we settle down a bit. Beefcake and Valentine work on Dog’s leg but he gets over to Santana to slug away on Valentine, which just feels right. Santana’s big clothesline gets two on Valentine as everything breaks down again. The flying forearm is enough for Santana to pin Valentine at 13:14.

Rating: B-. There are certain pairs who are going to work well together no matter what they do and that is the case with Valentine and Santana. Those two could have turned a boat race into an exciting match and they made this into an entertaining tag match. If nothing else, it’s interesting to see what very well may have been the future Dream Team’s first match, only a few months before they would win the Tag Team Titles. Solid main event here, as Santana goes from starting Wrestlemania to closing the follow up show.

Post match the villains beat the winners down.

After a break, the arena clears out and the ring is swept of trash as commentary wraps us up.

Overall Rating: B. This was a heck of a show with some rather good matches (the opener, the Tag Team Title singles matches and more) and stuff to make you want to come back later. It’s interesting to see this period as well, as you pretty much don’t have much outside of Saturday Night’s Main Event to tide you over between the first two Wrestlemanias. The crowd was certainly still hot and it made for a good show here. You could definitely get the Wrestlemania fallout vibes here and that is a good sign for the coming months. I had a lot of fun with this and could definitely go with more from this era, which is critically overlooked.

Results
Cobra b. Barry O – Hurricanrana
Tatsumi Fujinami b. Matt Borne – German suplex
King Kong Bundy b. Swede Hanson – Elbow drop
British Bulldogs b. Rene Goulet/Johnny Rodz – Swan dive to Rodz
Ricky Steamboat b. Moondog Spot – High crossbody
Magnificent Muraco b. Hulk Hogan via countout
Mike Rotundo b. Iron Sheik – Rollup
Barry Windham b. Nikolai Volkoff via DQ when Iron Sheik interfered
Tito Santana/Junkyard Dog b. Brutus Beefcake/Greg Valentine – Flying forearm to Valentine

 

 

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March To Wrestlemania X
Date: March 13, 1994
Location: Liberty High School, Liberty, New York/Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York
Attendance: 1,600/Unknown
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Johnny Polo, Gorilla Monsoon, Stan Lane

It’s another one of these Wrestlemania preview specials and in this case that could be quite the improvement over last year. Wrestlemania X is one of those shows that receives almost universal praise so seeing how WWE got to their big night could be interesting. Or it could be a bunch of filler matches which don’t get us anywhere. Let’s get to it.

The hosts/commentators preview the show. Stan Lane thinks Jim Cornette might be up to something. That has to be so surreal for both of them.

Lex Luger vs. Jimmy Del Ray

Jim Cornette and Tom Prichard are here with Del Ray. Luger isn’t about to shake Del Ray’s hand and knocks him down a few times without much effort. A clothesline puts Del Ray down again as Polo keeps messing with a sound machine, much to McMahon’s annoyance. Luger misses a charge to the floor and gets slammed/stomped by Prichard.

Back in and Del Ray stomps in the corner, allowing Prichard to choke in the ropes for a bonus. The double arm crank goes on before Del Ray sends him into the corner for….well he pulls the bottom rope but I have no idea how that is supposed to hurt. Del Ray’s moonsault misses though and Luger makes the same generic comeback he always makes. Prichard gets decked and it’s a powerslam into the Rack to finish Del Ray at 8:38.

Rating: C-. Just a simple match here but Luger’s lack of charisma was on full display. There’s just nothing you can do when Luger is doing the same basic stuff he always does and it didn’t work here. It’s not a terrible match, but they did about all they could and it did not work.

Post match Luger calls out Yokozuna, who comes out for the staredown and then leaves.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Ben Jordan

Luna Vachon is here with Bigelow, who throws him around to start and grabs a neck crank. Jordan’s comeback is cut off with a Boss Man Slam (with the left arm for a weird visual). The headlock goes on and Bigelow wants the people to shut up. Jordan avoids a charge and slugs away, only to walk into a hot shot for the pin at 3:31.

Rating: D+. Just a squash here, with Bigelow running through Jordan, despite a few right hands here and there. Bigelow and Vachon were set for a mixed tag match against Doink and Dink so it wasn’t like they needed to be in any serious training. It’s better than not acknowledging the match, but not by much.

Video on Women’s Champion Alundra Blayze.

Vince and Polo talk about more than half of the 50 greatest pay per views of all time being WWF events. Well what were they really up against?

Tatanka is ready for Yokozuna, thanks to the power of his Little Squaws. Yeah that didn’t catch on.

Razor Ramon vs. Tony DeVito

Non-title. Razor powers him into the corner to start and gets in a mocking look, which was quite the trademark for him. DeVito gets powered into the corner and then taken down by the arm for some cranking. Razor hammers away in the corner and then hiptosses him back out, setting up the abdominal stretch with the raised leg for a bonus. The belly to back superplex sets up the Razor’s Edge for the pin at 4:09.

Rating: C. I can always go for a nice squash and that’s what we got here. Razor was on a roll at this point and was getting ready for his big showdown with Michaels in that whole ladder match thing. That’s more than enough to make for a big Wrestlemania match and you could feel the star power here, as he destroyed DeVito.

Polo brings out Owen Hart for a chat. Hart is tired of his brother Bret holding him down, though he has to talk over the WE WANT BRET chants. Hart knows that everything will change at Wrestlemania, because there is no law that says the older brother has to be better. As for tonight, he wants Crush to save just a bit of Bret so there are no excuses at Wrestlemania.

Little Richard is ready to do America The Beautiful at Wrestlemania.

Earthquake vs. The Executioner

The Executioner tries to go after him to start but gets knocked down. A rake to the eyes lets Executioner go up, but Earthquake launches him mask first to the mat in a painful looking crash. The powerslam into a big elbow into the Earthquake finishes at 1:52. Earthquake just felt out of place in 1994.

It’s time for the Wrestlemania Control Center and we talk about the celebrities rather than the actual matches. Thankfully we do get a recap of the WWF Title situation, complete with a bracket, which I’ll take over a triple threat match.

Jim Cornette is ready for Yokozuna to leave Wrestlemania as the WWF Champion, because of course Yokozuna can beat Lex Luger and Bret Hart will be coming in weakened. As for tonight, Tatanka is going to get crushed.

The rest of the card gets a quick look as well.

Bret Hart, being interviewed by Johnny Polo (that could be a fascinating discussion), is ready for at least Owen Hart, and whomever he faces for the WWF Title. Bret wears this leather jacket because he is the ring general and now he’s ready to face anyone. These two could have a great buddy cop comedy.

Bret Hart vs. Crush

Mr. Fuji is here with Crush. Hart’s waistlock doesn’t get him very far to start and it’s an early standoff. Crush wants a test of strength but Hart is a bit too intelligent for that. Then for some reason Hart does try it and is immediately taken down. Hart sends him out to the floor and then gets in an elbow to send Crush outside again.

We take a break and come back with Crush hitting a superkick and grabbing a choke on the mat. Back up and a whip into the corner has Hart in more trouble, setting up a cross armbreaker as Polo is CERTAIN that there is someone better than Hart. There has to be! Crush grabs a bearhug to keep him in trouble before Hart is sent outside again. Fuji’s cheap shot is cut off by the referee so Crush sends Hart into the steps for two instead.

A backbreaker gets two more and Crush poses, allowing Hart to roll him up for two of his own. The middle rope bulldog gives Hart two and the Russian legsweep leaves both of them down. Back up and Crush hits another backbreaker but a top rope knee misses. Fuji offers a distraction but Crush hits him by mistake, allowing Hart to make the real comeback. Cue Owen Hart to turn a small package over so Crush can steal the pin at 14:20.

Rating: B. This is what I love about these shows, as it came out of nowhere and wound up being a heck of a match. Who would expect Crush to have this kind of a match? Granted that’s part of the perk of facing Hart, who really can do something special with anyone. It shows you why people saw potential in Crush, who could have a good match if he was out there with the right opponent and wrestled the right style.

Rhonda Shear wants to see Lex Luger at Wrestlemania and will make time for it because she is the guest timekeeper. I feel dumber having listened to her talk.

Quebecers vs. ???/???

Non-title and the Quebecers are sent outside in a hurry to start. Back in (and after a hug), the Quebecers take over on one of the two, as Captain Lou Albano comes out to say he doesn’t like these tactics. Pierre backdrops Jacques into a backsplash for two and the slow beating continues. An Alabama Slam into a Boston crab/Fameasser combination finishes for Pierre at 4:06.

Rating: C-. Not much to this one but that’s about what you would have to expect. I’m not sure why else was going to happen here, with the Quebecers on their way to a Tag Team Title match at Wrestlemania. I still like them as a heel team and they were one of the few bright spots in a terrible time for the division.

We get a sitdown interview with Randy Savage (it’s so bizarre to see him in a Raw shirt) and he promises to get his dignity back. He had Yokozuna beaten in his chance to become a three time WWF Champion but then Crush cost him. It should have been him going to Wrestlemania to face Bret Hart and Lex Luger, who he could beat. Savage has put in the work to get to that title shot and he wore Yokozuna out.

He’ll get to Crush and everything is cool, even with the divorce. He is a coiled spring though and it’s a good idea to not have him in the building tonight. Savage can’t go to Wrestlemania X as the WWF Champion but he is going to get his revenge on Crush. He’s guaranteeing that he’ll leave Wrestlemania with his dignity. This was INCREDIBLE and one of the best Savage promos I’ve ever seen. He was all business here and didn’t even have his sunglasses on. Outstanding stuff and HOW DID VINCE MCMAHON NOT SEE MONEY IN THIS GUY???

Tatanka vs. Yokozuna

Non-title and Mr. Fuji and Jim Cornette are here too. Polo thinks Tatanka is so ugly that he sleeps with his face in the pillows to be kind to burglars. Yokozuna jumps Tatanka to start and some chops to the head don’t get Tatanka very far. The big elbow misses and so does the splash, allowing Tatanka to hit a high crossbody for two. A knee to the ribs cuts Tatanka down again and naturally we hit the nerve hold.

The comeback doesn’t work for Tatanka as he gets pulled back down and then sent outside. The turnbuckle pad is taken off and we take a break. Back with Yokozuna going to another nerve hold as Polo and his sound machine have Vince very, very annoyed. Granted hearing Polo say that “Tatanka put a ruler next to his bed to see how long he slept” is more entertaining than the second nerve hold.

Yokozuna runs him over again but Tatanka manages to send him into the exposed buckle. A ridiculously delayed cover gets two so it’s the top rope chop to give us the TIMBER fall from Yokozuna. For some reason Tatanka tries the Papoose To Go and gets crushed with a belly to belly for his troubles. The Banzai Drop (Polo:”WHOOMP THERE IT IS!”) finishes Tatanka at 9:22.

Rating: C. Yeah this was when you could see things going south for Yokozuna, as a lot of the speed and movement which made someone of his size that much more impressive, is gone. Instead it’s a lot of standing in place before hitting the big moves and then things like the nerve hold. That being said, seeing Tatanka take a pinfall loss is still weird, but dang how good would it have been if THIS was his first loss? How much more of a killer would that make Yokozuna look like going into Wrestlemania?

Wrestlemania ad, treating it like a Broadway feature. I’ve heard worse ideas.

Commentary makes their WWF Title predictions, with Polo actually predicting Bret Hart to win the whole thing.

We get Men On A Mission’s Wrestlemania Rap. I heard this over thirty years ago ago and I still remember the line “The mission is the titles and we will win but we’re all gonna rock Wrestlemania X.” This could not be more early 90s if it tried, making it awesome.

Overall Rating: B-. While some of the wrestling was hit and miss, I had a good time with this and want to see Wrestlemania more than I did coming in. The fact that I’ve seen Wrestlemania X more times than I can count and kind of want to see it again is quite the effective sign. That Savage interview was outstanding and the Hart vs. Crush match went well. Solid enough show here and it did its job.

 

 

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March To Wrestlemania IX
Date: March 28, 1993
Location: Cumberland County Civic Center, Fayetteville, North Carolina
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

The title kind of speaks for itself here, as we have about a week to go before Wrestlemania and this is the big final push towards the biggest event of the year. The WWF did some specials like this back in the 90s and that means we could have an interesting selection of matches on the way to Las Vegas. Let’s get to it.

We look back at the contract signing between Bret Hart and Yokozuna, with Yokozuna crushing Hart, who got up anyway to a big reaction.

Vince and Bobby run down the card in front of a green screen.

Yokozuna vs. Randy Savage

Yokozuna has Mr. Fuji with him. They take their sweet time getting going here with no contact being made in the first two minutes. Savage ducks a few lockups before getting shoved down, leaving him thinking twice about this. Yokozuna hits a running shoulder and sends Savage flying over the top in a big heap. With Vince praising Yokozuna as much as he can, Savage gets knocked down again as the USA chants are on.

Yokozuna keeps hammering away as commentary basically says Bret Hart has no chance at Wrestlemania. Savage gets in some left hands but a single chop puts him back down. The big legdrop crushes Savage but the charge in the corner misses. A top rope ax handle puts Yokozuna on one knee but Fuji shoves Savage off the top. Yokozuna grabs a belly to belly suplex for the pin at 6:37.

Rating: C+. This was designed to set up Yokozuna as the monster who is beating a former WWF Champion and that worked well. Savage’s comeback at the end was only enough to give him a sliver of hope and that’s all it needed to be. Yokozuna is the monster of monsters at this point and it’s clear that the company is entirely behind him, as they should be here.

Post match Yokozuna goes for the Banzai Drop but misses and….leaves. Well that was kind of stupid.

We look at Lex Luger’s debut at the Royal Rumble, with Bobby Heenan’s insanely over the top praise still being hilarious/uncomfortable.

Mr. Perfect vs. Skinner

Skinner jumps him to start as Heenan is VERY happy with the idea of Perfect getting beaten up. Perfect gets tossed over the top and Skinner gets in a bite on the floor. Perfect manages a posting, only for Skinner to get in a belt shot to the throat. A whipping ensues, with the referee having no issue with the foreign object. Vince goes NUTS, screaming that Heenan or Luger paid Skinner off to soften Perfect up before Wrestlemania. You know, because Skinner is a totally clean cut star otherwise.

Perfect’s eyes are raked over the top rope as Vince is AGHAST at this BLATANT RULE BREAKING! Perfect gets in a single shot though and the comeback is on, with the right hands in the corner having Skinner in more trouble. The knee lift lets Perfect choke in the ropes, where Skinner gets in an alligator claw to the face. Not that it matters as Perfect hits the PerfectPlex for the pin at 5:27.

Rating: C+. This was a bit better than I was expecting here, with Skinner beating Perfect up until the comeback came through. It really does amaze me to see how easy Perfect can make things look out there, as it feels like he’s just waiting to turn it on and win in the end. That’s not a level of talent you see very often and it is more impressive every time.

Hulk Hogan is coming back at Wrestlemania. This was some over the top praise.

Kamala vs. Kim Chee

Before the match, Slick thanks the fans for their support for Kamala and promises that he is going to take out Bam Bam Bigelow at Wrestlemania. Not exactly as the match didn’t happen but it’s a nice sentiment. Kim Chee wants Kamala to walk back into the darkness but we cannot let that happen. Can Slick get a witness?

Anyway, Chee gets in Kamala’s face to start and seems to scare him, allowing Chee to hammer away in the corner. A slap to the face wakes Kamala up and he grabs a quickly broken bearhug. Kamala superkicks him down and the big splash, plus some coaching to turn Chee over, is enough for the pin at 2:11. That’s all it should have been.

Post match Kamala knocks him to the floor and steals the pith helmet.

We get a Wrestlemania music video in all of its 1993 glory, with various wrestlers giving some rather generic promos. That being said, this is the old Wrestlemania theme, with the OOOH OOOH, WRESTLEMANIA, PUMP IT UP PUMP IT UP (better known as Linda McMahon’s theme) so I can’t complain much. For some reason Big Boss Man, who wasn’t on Wrestlemania, gets two promos.

Vince and Bobby hype up the Mega Maniacs vs. Money Inc.

We look back at Money Inc. attacking Brutus Beefcake, resulting in the return of Hulk Hogan to set up a match which does not feel important in the slightest despite being the second biggest match on the card. I was a huge Brutus Beefcake fan when I was a kid but this return run never worked. Much like Hogan in the early days of Raw, which never felt right.

Money Inc. vs. Reno Riggins/Jerry Sabin

Non-title and Sabin is better known as the Italian Stallion, right down to his trunks saying ITALY. The beating starts fast with DiBiase taking Sabin to the floor and hammering away. Back in and a double back elbow drops Riggins, followed by a suplex to do it again. IRS drops an elbow and the Million Dollar Dream finishes at 2:54.

Here are the Mega Maniacs (obviously in a different arena) for a chat. Hogan talks about Money Inc. hitting Beefcake in the face with the metal briefcase and he knew it was bad. He chilled, he goosebumped and he sweated from head to toe. It was so bad that he ran to the garage and got on Brutus’ motorcycle (which just happened to be there) so he could ride to Venice Beach and bury his ear in the sand. He heard (in the sand) millions of Hulkamaniacs praying for Beefcake.

Then he rode the motorcycle for seven days to New York City, where he went to the Ramada Inn and found Beefcake watching the Three Stooges with an ice pack on his nose. Beefcake talks about going to Florida with Hogan, where they dropped rockets (yes rockets) on his new metal mask and there wasn’t a scratch on it. If Hogan did one more pushup, those Pythons would explode.

Jimmy Hart recommends not investing money in Money Inc., whereas the Mega Maniacs will have new t-shirts, Nintendo games and posters. When they win the Tag Team Titles, their stock will go through the roof. Hogan says Beefcake is mad, with Beefcake saying he spent two days running up and down the aisles at K-Mart to find hair tonic. Then he went to the desert around Las Vegas, where he chopped down some cactuses (should be cacti) and mountains (no word on if it was with the edge of his hand), where he decided he’ll take Money Inc.’s hair out of their heads with his bare hands.

Hogan says he went fishing with his bare hands and caught some sharks, but they weren’t for eating. Instead, he’s filled the pool at Caesar’s Palace with salt water for the hammerhead sharks (and some mermaids). Beefcake is going to help Hogan open the sharks’ mouths so they can wrap the Tag Team Titles around their teeth.

That way, when they throw the bathing beauties and Hulkamaniacs in the pool (with the sharks), the sharks can’t hurt a hair on their chinny chin chins (of the bathing beauties you see). Hogan has two cases of suntan lotion and he wants all the female Hulkamaniacs to have an even tan from head to toe. Catchphrase and posing ensues. If you haven’t seen this promo, go find it somewhere, as the Ultimate Warrior would have thought this was totally insane. And then it just KEPT GOING as they talk for the better part of ten minutes.

We look at Tatanka pinning Shawn Michaels a few times, earning an Intercontinental Title shot at Wrestlemania.

Michaels is ready to play Tatanka like people get played in the Las Vegas casinos.

Tatanka vs. George South

Tatanka takes him down without much trouble as Heenan is insisting that Shawn Michaels is NOT in jeopardy. All this does is make me wonder how Heenan would have done as Shawn’s manager. Tatanka takes him into the corner but South gets in a few shots of his own. A ram into the buckle sends Tatanka onto the war path as Heenan rants about how he DOES NOT CARE about Sherri being at Wrestlemania. Some chops set up the Papoose To Go to finish South at 2:29.

Post match Michaels comes out to gloat so Tatanka wants to fight. Nah.

It’s time for the Wrestlemania Control Center with Gene Okerlund, who feels out of place in the WWF in 1993. He hypes up the toga party (because that really was a selling point) and the double main event, with Bret Hart being tired of hearing that he has no chance. Yokozuna could lose a lot more than face at Wrestlemania.

Crush is on a boat in Hawaii and, in a rather odd accent, promises revenge on Doink at Wrestlemania. Then he dives into the water and gets some octopuses.

The Steiners are ready to beat up the Headshrinkers.

Beverly Brothers/Little Louie vs. Bushwhackers/Tiger Jackson

Jackson would go on to become Dink The Clown. After some stalling, Beau punches Luke down to start as Heenan wants to say something important. Vince asks for a drum roll before Heenan insists he will NOT be wearing a toga. Heenan: “Imagine Gorilla Monsoon in a toga. It’ll look like an unmade bed.” We get a four person bite chain until Luke threatens to beat up Louie. Instead Jackson dances and hits Louie with a dropkick.

A splash gets two, with Louie’s kickout sending Jackson into the referee’s arm. Said referee throws Jackson back onto Louie for two before they do the sequence all over again. Louie gets in a shot of his own and Butch comes in to yell at Blake but not actually hit him. Blake gets in a cheap shot and hammers away as we get a rare BUTCH chant. Butch works on the arm and we get a chase from Louie and Jackson.

Beau comes in off the top with an ax handle to take over on Luke and we get some assisted choking on the ropes. Another top rope ax handle connects and Louie gets in a slap from the apron. Luke gets over and brings in Butch to clean house, which isn’t exactly hard on the Beverly Brothers. Everything breaks down and Jackson hits a high crossbody for the pin on Louie at 9:57. Heenan: “I didn’t understand anything I just saw.”

Rating: D. What in the world was the point of that? None of these people are on Wrestlemania and they get almost ten minutes, or longer than any other match on the show. That’s such a weird way to go and it was nothing that you wouldn’t see on a house show. It felt like they had nothing else to use on the show and picked a random comedy match.

We look at Giant Gonzalez debuting and taking out the Undertaker.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Undertaker

Paul Bearer is here of course. Bigelow slugs away to start but Undertaker drop toeholds him down. The chase is on with Bigelow getting in a shot, only to get caught with a running DDT. Old School connects but Bigelow knocks him down again as we take a break. Back with Bigelow hammering away on the floor, giving us Undertaker’s stagger sell. A hard whip sends Undertaker knees first into the steps but he gets up.

Back in and a slam has Undertaker sitting up again, with Heenan wanting Giant Gonzalez to come out here and take care of Undertaker. Some elbows make Undertaker sit up again and Bigelow misses the top rope headbutt. The comeback is on with a chokeslam sending Bigelow outside and he walks out for the countout at 7:40.

Rating: C+. This could have been a lot worse as they had a story here with Bigelow’s big man offense not being able to keep him down. It gave you just enough drama about whether or not Bigelow could stop him before walking out. Not a great match, but it made me want to see them doing something else.

Post match Giant Gonzalez comes out for the staredown, with Undertaker slowly going towards him. Referees break it up.

Vince and Bobby (who insists he does NOT have a tail) give us a quick final Wrestlemania preview to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. There’s a reason Wrestlemania IX is so poorly remembered and a two hour preview for the show isn’t the best thing to see. This was a way to get people hyped up for the show, but then you realize just what you’re getting into. Throw in the completely out there mixed tag and the all time weird Mega Maniacs promo and this didn’t work. The decent wrestling you get is nothing worth seeing and the whole thing is kind of a mess as a result.

 

 

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Wrestlefest 1991
Commentators: Sean Mooney, Lord Alfred Hayes
Host: Randy Savage

I think you can tell the time frame here and that might not be the best thing. This isn’t the greatest time for the company but I can always go for some Coliseum Videos. It’s all going to depend on the lineup and that could go in a few different ways. The WWE Vault tends to have a reason for these picks so let’s get to it.

We go to Randy Savage’s estate to open things up and he’s having nightmares about losing his career at Wrestlemania VII. Savage insists that he was NOT sleeping but says he lost to the best of all time in the Ultimate Warrior. He’s excited to host this tape, which might be the apex of his career. Today though, Ultimate Warrior isn’t facing the Macho Man on tape but rather the Earthquake.

Earthquake, with Jimmy Hart, brings up attacking Ultimate Warrior in a pushup contest, which is how Earthquake made his debut.

From Fort Myers, Florida, February 19, 1991.

Ultimate Warrior vs. Earthquake

Jimmy Hart is here with Earthquake and offers a distraction so Earthquake can get in a cheap shot. Warrior is right back with a flying shoulder to put Earthquake on the floor so Warrior chases Hart around. That earns him a ram into the apron (from Earthquake if that isn’t clear) and Earthquake takes him inside again to start on the back.

Some rams into the corner set up a bearhug, with Warrior not being able to power out. Earthquake puts him down and drops an elbow, followed by the Earthquake for two, with the kickout being as Hulking Up as you can get. Some clotheslines set up the big slam and the Warrior Splash finishes at 5:38.

Rating: C-. They might as well have had Warrior in red and yellow out there as he was just doing a Hogan impression. It’s the exact same formula that Hogan would do in a quick house show match, to the point where I remember him doing about the same thing in a match against Typhoon. When you still have Hogan around, why would I want to see Warrior just copying him?

Savage tells us how to send in a request for a Fan Favorite match, just like the one we just saw. Uh, I’ll pass if that’s the option.

And now, a special look at Jimmy Hart, featuring the Manager Cam.

From Green Bay, Wisconsin, May 7, 1991.

The Mountie vs. Big Boss Man

So the deal here is that the camera stays (mostly) on Jimmy Hart, who is mic’d up. Mountie charges at him to start but gets kicked away for his early efforts. A slugout doesn’t go much better as Boss man picks him up for a spinebuster. Hold on though as Boss Man goes after Hart, who screams for the Mountie in a funny bit. Boss Man even grabs Hart’s jacket and puts it over Mountie’s face for a slap. Mountie gets knocked outside and thrown right back in, which isn’t exactly nice treatment.

Back in and Boss Man chokes some more, setting up the running crotch attack to the back of the neck. More choking has Hart losing her mind but Boss Man misses a charge to give Mountie a breather. Mountie ties the leg up in the ropes and kicks away, leaving Boss Man to fall down in a heap. Hart approves and, of course, can’t shut up, as tends to be his custom. We even get an I AM THE MOUNTIE announcement…and Boss Man punches him back, setting up the Boss Man Slam for the pin at 6:30.

Rating: C-. This was an idea that might have sounded fun but it would have been better served on a better match. Mountie and Boss Man didn’t get to do much here and putting a camera on Hart is only going to be so interesting when you can already hear just about everything he says thanks to the megaphone. It wasn’t a bad idea, but it wasn’t all that interesting.

Post match Mountie gets in a shot with the shock stick to drop Boss Man.

From Omaha, Nebraska, April 15, 1991.

The Rockers vs. Power And Glory

Slick is here with Power And Glory as Michaels and Roma trade hammerlocks to start. Roma gets over to the ropes to escape before stomping away on Michaels in the corner. Back up and the Rockers clear the ring without too much effort and it’s time for a meeting on the floor with Slick. Back in and Roman takes over on Jannetty, with Hercules getting in a right hand from the apron like a good villain. A nice dropkick puts Jannetty down but he’s back with a sunset flip for two.

Michaels gets drawn in though and more double teaming has Jannetty in trouble again. Hercules turns him inside out with a clothesline (Jannetty could always make that look good) and Roma grabs a chinlock. Back up and Jannetty can’t get a sunset flip so Roma clotheslines him down again. Roma comes in off the top with another shot but misses a charge in the corner. That’s enough for Michaels to come in and clean house as everything breaks down. Slick grabs Michaels’ leg though and the Rockers go after him, resulting in the countout at 12:05.

Rating: C+. I’ve seen worse, as this match got some time, even with the fairly weak house show style ending. It’s not a bad match at all, with the Rockers still being popular and Power And Glory being a perfectly fine heel team. I could have gone with more of a clear finish, but the Rockers doing just about anything work.

Post match the Rockers clear the ring and double clothesline Slick (who loses his snazzy hat). Michaels even steals the hat, which doesn’t do much for him.

Ted DiBiase is ready for the Texas Tornado, who apparently isn’t that smart.

From Orlando, Florida, February 18, 1991.

Ted DiBiase vs. Texas Tornado

Hold on though as before the match, Tornado asks about Virgil, who recently left DiBiase. Cue Virgil, sending DiBiase into a frenzy, including yelling a lot as the bell has already rung and we’re just stalling here, possibly because Tornado is in no condition to have an overly long match.

Tornado follows DiBiase to the floor and hammers away, followed by some rams into the buckle inside. Tornado throws him outside, where Virgil throws DiBiase back inside. The Tornado Punch connects but another hits the post to bang up Tornado’s hand. DiBiase knocks him to the floor again but this time Virgil sweeps the leg, allowing Tornado to fall on top for the pin at 6:28.

Rating: D+. This was absolutely nothing and it would not surprise me a bit of the match had to go short because of Tornado being out of it. That happened more than a few times and it was getting harder and harder to see him do much. That’s what you were seeing here, as Tornado wasn’t doing much more than punching until he fell on top for the pin. It was more about Virgil vs. DiBiase anyway, but still, nothing to see here.

From Fort Myers, Florida, February 19, 1991.

British Bulldog vs. Haku

They circle each other to start until Haku grabs a headlock as commentary discusses rugby. Bulldog powers out and hits a dropkick to send Haku outside, where he wants time out. Back in and Bulldog slams him down, with Haku wanting another breather. A sleeper goes on before Bulldog switches to a rather pathetic looking armbar. Haku fights out and hits a hard piledriver for two, setting up a rather painful looking hair pull. That’s switched into a more standard chinlock but Bulldog fights up and hits a crossbody. Haku is right back with another chinlock but Bulldog fights up again and runs him over. A crucifix finishes Haku at 7:48.

Rating: C. Pretty standard match here with Bulldog fighting from behind and winning. It wasn’t an interesting match for the most part and it was nothing that hasn’t been done far better. Bulldog was starting to get moved up the card as a singles star and it makes sense that he gets a win here.

Randy Savage plays some pool but he only went 2/3 when he played himself the last three times.

We go to the Barber Shop for some grooming tips, which is Brutus Beefcake cutting hair and putting mud (from the Dead Sea, as written on the container) on someone’s face. Then he adds in an egg. This just keeps going and isn’t funny.

From Biloxi, Mississippi, March 12, 1991.

Greg Valentine vs. Rick Martel

Ah yes face Greg Valentine. Actually make that ah no, face Greg Valentine. Feeling out process to start with both of them backing the other into the ropes. Valentine shoves him to the floor and Martel wants a breather on the floor. Back in and Valentine grinds away on a headlock before it’s time to go after the leg in various painful ways.

Martel kicks him in the face for the break and chokes away a bit but the bad leg means he can’t follow up. Some elbows to the back have Valentine down and we hit the abdominal stretch. Valentine fights out and makes the comeback with a clothesline to the floor, where they fight to the double countout at 8:34.

Rating: C. Valentine as a face is still one of the all time weirdest decisions from the WWF. I still have no idea who in the world (other than Vince McMahon) wanted to see this in 1991 and it just never worked. It doesn’t help that Valentine is wrestling the same style that had been dull (quality but dull) for years but now against different opponents.

Post match the brawl continues until Martel loads up the Arrogance. Instead Valentine knocks it away and grabs the Figure Four. Like a hero.

From Fort Myers, Florida, February 19, 1991.

Warlord vs. Koko B. Ware

Slick is here with Warlord, who commentary thinks could be in line for another WWF Title shot. Warlord powers him around to start, including a lifting choke to drop Ware again. Back up and Ware goes to the eyes before slugging away, with Ware bailing out to the floor before Warlord maims him.

Warlord slowly hammers him down so Ware strikes away, only to get backdropped out to the floor for a nice crash. Back in and we hit the bearhug for a good while until Ware fights out. The comeback is on with the middle rope dropkick getting two (with Ware landing on his feet). Warlord isn’t having that and hits a running powerslam for the pin at 6:38.

Rating: C-. This was exactly what you would have expected it to be, with Warlord doing his power stuff and Ware doing his speed stuff, which didn’t exactly thrill anyone. It wasn’t a terrible match, but you could tell how bad things were if they were trying to make Warlord into a thing. He’s as generic of a power monster as you could get and there was no hiding it.

Randy Savage watches his retirement match against the Ultimate Warrior from Wrestlemania VII and says you can’t change history.

From Biloxi, Mississippi, March 12, 1991.

Hart Foundation vs. Legion Of Doom

And here’s the reason to watch the tape. Non-title, as the Harts would still be Tag Team Champions at this point but as they would lose the titles before this was released, they don’t have the belts. Neidhart and Animal shove each other around to start until a double clothesline leaves both of them down. It’s off to Hawk vs. Bret, with Hawk knocking him to the floor for some rather hard headbutts.

Back in and Hart knocks Hawk to the floor for a stomp to the ribs so Neidhart can get two off a clothesline. A backbreaker gives Hart two and the front facelock goes on. That’s broken up so Hawk is sent into the corner for a running shoulder to the ribs. The chinlock with a knee in the back keeps Hawk down and it’s back up for a quick Hart Attack.

Animal makes the save so Hart hits an atomic drop to keep Hawk in trouble. Hart misses the running charge into the corner (chest first of course) and now it’s back to Animal to clean house. Everything breaks down but Neidhart breaks up the Doomsday Device, allowing Hart to get a rollup for two. The slingshot shoulder hits Animal and a rocket launch crossbody….is countered into a powerslam to give Animal the pin on Hart at 12:21.

Rating: B. You do not see the Harts doing a clean job very often but the LOD aren’t your usual opponents. This was two top level teams in what felt like a dream match and it worked well. You had the Harts using their mixture of brains and power to slow the monsters down but in the end, Animal caught Hart one time for a fast pin. Good stuff here and absolutely a dream match for this era.

From New York City, New York, March 15, 1991.

Marty Jannetty vs. Pat Tanaka

From MSG and Mr. Fuji is here with Tanaka. Jannetty circles him to start until a Fuji distraction lets Tanaka get in a kick to the back. A right hand sends Tanaka outside and he comes back in, only to get knocked outside again. Back in and Fuji offers a distraction and Tanaka…does nothing. Tanaka yells at him so Jannetty hits him in the face and adds the jumping back elbow.

Back up and Tanaka sends him into the corner for a crash into the post, putting Tanaka in control for a change. The headbutt between the legs has Jannetty in more trouble but Jannetty is back with a knockdown and rollup for two each. Tanaka hammers him down again but Jannetty reverses into an Owen Hart piledriver (and a scary one at that) for the pin at 10:54. Mooney: “What a tremendous win for Shawn Michaels’…..partner Marty Jannetty.”

Rating: C+. The ending was scary but the rest of the match was fine enough, as the Rockers and the Orient Express always had good chemistry together. That was on display again here, as you had two talented wrestlers getting to do their thing. The fans only cared so much, but how much were they supposed to get into a match like this one in MSG?

Elizabeth calls Savage so he wraps up the tape and seems to make dinner plans.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a VERY mixed bag with all kinds of stuff, but it could have been so much worse. They had a nice variety going here and it’s still interesting to see what was going on without Hogan around for a change. The tape isn’t great by any means and there are some weak spots, but that tag match is awesome and there was enough going on here to keep me more than interested for almost two hours.

 

 

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The Big Event
Date: August 28, 1986
Location: Exhibition Stadium, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 61,470
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Johnny Valiant, Ernie Ladd

So in March 1987, Wrestlemania III completely redefined the idea of a major wrestling show. However, less than a year earlier, there was this show, which is often forgotten by comparison. It is headlined by a major showdown between Hulk Hogan and Paul Orndorff, which is an absolutely red hot feud. Let’s get to it.

Note that this is the Coliseum Video version of the show, which features a bunch of cuts to get it under two hours.

Gene Okerlund is in a helicopter over Toronto and we get some random short clips from the show. This is described as “the WWF and Hulkamania come to Toronto” in case you didn’t know what this was really about. We also hear about some of the card, which is always nice.

Funks vs. Killer Bees

Jimmy Hart is here with the Funks (Jimmy Jack/Hoss, the latter being better known as Dory Jr.). Hoss and Blair start things off with Blair taking over off some early slams. The Funks already need a breather on the floor before getting back inside for a double noggin knocker. Jack headlocks Brunzell and is promptly slammed down as well. Back in again and a crossbody gets two on Hoss before Blair cranks on the arm.

Hoss finally gets in an elbow and hands it back to Jack, who is taken into the wrong corner again. A sleeper has Jack in more trouble as Monsoon gets on Johnny V for cheering for the Funks. Hoss comes back in and sends Blair outside to FINALLY take over. Then the Bees do their mask deal and change spot, with Brunzell coming in for a clothesline to Hoss. Jack breaks up an abdominal stretch and the Bees switch again, with a small package finishing Jack at 6:43.

Rating: C. Nothing to see here, with the Bees’ cheating continuing to be a weird way to go. It’s a total heel move but for some reason it was supposed to be cheered. I’ve never gotten that as it never felt right. Just a basic opener, though the fans didn’t seem thrilled with seeing the Bees cheat multiple times to win.

Magnificent Muraco vs. King Tonga

Mr. Fuji is here with Muraco. We’re clipped into somewhere in the match with Tonga grabbing a hiptoss and a slam to send Muraco scurrying (yes scurrying) outside. We get a shot of a young fan as Muraco comes back in for some stalling. A dropkick sends Muraco outside again before Tonga starts in on the arm. Muraco’s monkey flip doesn’t work (Johnny: “Oopsie doopsie doo!”) and the arm cranking continues.

Fuji trips Tonga/Haku (as commentary keeps switching between the names) down to take over before Muraco sends him outside for a cane shot. Back in and we hit the nerve hold as we might as well be counting down to the time limit draw. About five arm drops don’t go anywhere so Tonga fights up and wins a strike off.

Muraco avoids a charge into the corner though and the leg is wrapped around the post. Back in and Muraco stays on the leg, setting up the Figure Four. With that broken up, Muraco goes up but gets slammed down. Tonga strikes away and hits a clothesline, followed by a high crossbody, only for time to expire at 11:24 shown of 20:00.

Rating: C-. It’s not exactly the most interesting match in the first place and I can’t imagine what it was like to have it go on almost twice at long. Throw in the fact that they were pretty clearly just filling time until the ending and it was even weaker. They did a nice job of hiding the clips, but it wasn’t an entertaining match in the first place.

Ted Arcidi vs. Tony Garea

Arcidi, a power guy, shoves Garea around without much trouble to start. Garea’s running shoulders don’t work as Arcidi is mainly just standing there. An elbow drops Garea but he kicks Arcidi in the face. The dropkick puts Arcidi down but he’s right back with a bearhug for the win at 2:40. Arcidi was horrible and this showed it even more.

Jimmy Hart has Adrian Adonis ready to face the Junkyard Dog and Hart is ready to get his revenge.

Adrian Adonis vs. Junkyard Dog

Jimmy Hart is here with Adonis, who jumps Dog before the bell. Dog fights back with the chain and Adonis is busted open for some headbutts to leave him rocked early. Adonis is headbutted to the floor, where another headbutt staggers him again. Dog headbutts him on the apron and then shoves the referee, allowing Hart to spray Dog in the face with the atomizer. A middle rope elbow gives Adonis two as I guess the bell did indeed ring off camera. Adonis knocks him outside where Hart jumps on the Dog, only for Dog to pull Adonis down. They slug it out on the floor and only Dog beats the count for the win at 4:12.

Rating: D. This didn’t work so well and that shouldn’t be the biggest surprise. Adonis was still able to bump rather well but there was only so much that he could do with someone as slow as Dog. This was mainly Dog doing headbutts and then getting beaten up until the finish. In other words, a pretty usual Dog match for the time.

Dick Slater vs. Iron Mike Sharpe

A hammerlock sends Sharpe outside, which makes sense as he doesn’t want that bad arm to get even worse. Back in and Slater sends him right back to the floor as Monsoon calls out Sharpe on having a VERY slow healing injury, with the brace being on for eight years. Monsoon: “Why doesn’t he take the brace off and let it heal?” Johnny: “I DON’T KNOW! WHY DON’T YOU TAKE HIM OUT TO DINNER TONIGHT AND ASK HIM???”

Back in again and Sharpe gets in a shot but we’re clipped to Slater fighting back. Slater knocks him into the corner, followed by a swinging neckbreaker. The elbow misses so Slater goes with a middle rope elbow into a jackknife rollup for the pin at 2:29 shown. Nothing to this one, again, though Johnny snapping on Monsoon was funny.

Bobby Heenan promises to get the masks off the Machines tonight. Oh and Paul Orndorff is going to win the WWF Title. He also hates the crowd calling him WEASEL.

Bobby Heenan/King Kong Bundy/Big John Studd vs. The Machines/Captain Lou Albano

Ah the Machines. This would be Big Machine (Blackjack Mulligan) and Super Machine (Bill Eadie, better known as Ax) with Giant Machine (guess) in their corner. Studd and Super start things off but it’s too early for Super to get in a slam, as Studd’s thing was no one could slam him. The fans chant about a WEASEL as Studd knocks Super down to take over. Back up and Super knocks Studd to the floor, where the Giant sends him back inside. Bundy comes in to face Big and a collision goes nowhere.

Big slugs away and avoids a charge in the corner before knocking Bundy down so Studd comes back in. Studd stomps Big down and NOW it’s off to Heenan, who goes after the mask. A single shot from Super cuts him off but it’s Big being taken back into the corner. Studd’s cheap shot from the apron cuts Big down for two so it’s back to Heenan, only for Albano to get the tag. Heenan backs up (as only he can) before Albano whips him upside down in the corner. Everything breaks down and the Giant comes in for the DQ at 7:48.

Rating: D+. This was the usual slow motion match from the Machines and Bundy/Studd, though Heenan was there to make it better. It’s not a good match or really anything close to it, but what matters is they got something out of the crowd. The Machines were the definition of goofy fun, but it would be nice if they had something to back it up in the ring.

Jake Roberts vs. Ricky Steamboat

Snake Pit Match, which basically means street fight. Roberts jumps him on the way in but Steamboat gets in a backdrop to send Roberts outside. That lets them get their entrance gear off before Steamboat chops away back inside. Steamboat starts in on the arm as Monsoon says that we were originally supposed to have a real snake and a real dragon in the corners but the whole safety thing prevented it.

The hammerlock keeps Roberts down as Johnny can’t remember the lake near the stadium. Steamboat chops him to the floor but Roberts takes over and drops some knees, with Steamboat hanging over the ring’s platform. Roberts takes too long to get a chair though and Steamboat takes it away for a hard shot of his own.

Back in and the top rope chop to the head gives Steamboat two as the fans are staying with this. The armbar goes on again but Roberts manages to whip him over the top for a big crash to the floor. A catapult sends Steamboat into the post and we’ve got some blood. Back in and Roberts hammers away, with the short arm clothesline putting Steamboat down. The DDT is blocked so Roberts grabs a backbreaker for two, only to pose too much, allowing Steamboat to get a sunset flip for the pin at 10:18.

Rating: B. Easily the match of the night here so far, with the fans being in there the whole time. Steamboat is someone who could make a comeback as well as anyone else and having him steal the win at the end was the perfect way to go. It was a good most, with Roberts feeling like he was out to hurt Steamboat, who was wrestling at a higher level and picked up the win in the end.

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules

It’s a Wrestlemania preview, with Monsoon on commentary alone for some reason and clearly doing a voiceover later. Haynes grabs a headlock and they trade leapfrogs until Hercules knocks him down. We’re clipped to Hercules grabbing a bearhug but Haynes headclaps his way out. They collide for a double down before Haynes elbows him in the face. A backbreaker looks to set up the full nelson but Hercules throws him outside instead. Hercules suplexes him back in and gets two off a clothesline. Haynes comes back with a quick backslide for the pin at 6:08.

Rating: C-. It’s not bad, but at the same time there is only so much you can get out of these two having such similar styles. Their bigger match at Wrestlemania wasn’t that much better and it’s mainly due to the clash of styles. You rarely see two people with the same style having a good match and that was on display here.

Fabulous Rougeaus vs. Dream Team

Another Wrestlemania preview and commentary (including Johnny, the Dream Team’s manager) is back. The villains jump them to start but the Rougeaus come back with a slingshot sunset flip for two on Valentine. Jacques drops a knee on Valentine and we hit the abdominal stretch (yes Monsoon complains).

With that broken up, Beefcake comes in for a powerslam and his own two. Raymond gets taken into the corner for a middle rope shot to the head. Raymond gets in a crossbody for two and it’s back to Jacques for a double dropkick. An atomic drop cuts Jacques off (and gives him a rather high pitched scream) so Beefcake can take him into the corner. Everything breaks down and the Rougeaus ram them into each other, setting up the Cannonball for two. Valentine sends Jacques into the apron as we go to a wide shot to show the crowd.

Jacques gets rammed into the apron again before Beefcake hits a big backbreaker on Raymond. A suplex gives Beefcake two and Valentine grabs a bearhug, with a tag to Jacques not counting. Raymond gets whipped hard into the corner but Valentine misses the big elbow. The hot tag brings in Jacques to clean house, including a double dropkick as Johnny is losing his mind. Jacques misses his middle rope elbow so Valentine slaps on the Figure Four. Raymond makes the save as everything breaks down and a sunset flip pins Valentine at 14:55.

Rating: B-. Another good match here, with the extra time helping a bit. They built things up with the heat on both Rougeaus and Johnny going absolutely nuts on commentary helped a lot. It made for a good match as the glory days of the tag division were coming soon, with the Rougeaus being a forgotten part of the lineup.

Johnny has to be held back in the commentary booth. To make things even worse, Monsoon points out that the wrong Rougeau got the pin, which has Johnny’s eyes bugging out in a funny bit.

Harley Race vs. Pedro Morales

This would have been a fascinating match a mere ten years earlier. We’re joined in progress with Morales throwing those big lefts to send Race to the floor. Race trips him down and sends him over the timekeeper’s table. The falling headbutt hits Morales again and a posting makes it worse. Back in and Morales hits a suplex and gets two off a small package. A sunset flip out of the corner gives Morales two but Race rolls him up and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin at 3:23.

Rating: C. Morales was great in his day but it just wasn’t working at this point. You could see that it wasn’t there anymore, even in a short match like this one. Race was able to make anyone look better though and he pulled it off again here, at least as much as you could given the circumstances.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Paul Orndorff

Orndorff, with Bobby Heenan, is challenging and has the stolen Real American theme music. Since Hogan uses the same thing, they just let the song keep playing for both entrances. Orndorff jumps him before the bell and they roll around on the mat as the crowd is on fire. Hogan hammers away but the referee PULLS HOGAN’S HAIR to get him away. Dang it why can’t Jesse Ventura be on commentary here?

Back up and Hogan knocks him to the floor so Orndorff pulls Hogan outside for an exchange of rams into the apron. They get back inside where Hogan drops an elbow and an atomic drop sends Heenan into the corner. We pause for Hogan to go after Heenan, which is enough of a distraction for Orndorff to catch Hogan coming back inside. A big clothesline sends Hogan to the floor and there’s a suplex to drop him again.

Hogan starts to get back in, which Monsoon calls “guts personified”. We’re just over four minutes into a match where Hogan has been in control for a good chunk. Monsoon has a low standard for “guts personified”. Some elbows to the chest have Hogan in trouble on the apron and a rather hard one sends him to the apron.

Back in and Hogan gets dropped again so he reaches out to the crowd in one of those things that will always work. Orndorff hits a top rope right hand to the jaw but the piledriver is broken up. That earns Hogan a bite to the face and a belly to back suplex triggers the Hulk Up. A jumping knee sends Orndorff into the referee in the corner and Hogan holds up Orndorff’s arm for a clotheslines (how Orndorff turned on him). Hogan loads up a piledriver, which draws in Heenan with a stool to the back of the head. The VERY delayed cover gets….nothing as the referee calls for the DQ at 11:07.

Rating: B-. Another perfectly acceptable match here, with the ending designed to set up the rematches, which was one of the best house show runs the company has ever seen. Orndorff was a great change of pace heel for Hogan, who was best known for fighting the monsters. It was more in the Roddy Piper mold and that was certainly something Hogan could do very well. Not a great match, but the fans were eating it up.

Post match Orndorff puts the belt on and then freaks out at the announcement (as the referee appears near death in the corner). Orndorff stomps away but Hogan fights up and cleans house.

Slow motion replays and the credits take us out.

Overall Rating: C. The good matches are strong enough to carry this one to another level, but it’s still only so strong of a show. The problem is the bad matches really drag things down, as you’re not going to get much out of the midcard stuff here. What matters the most here is the massive crowd, which really is worth a look. Not a great show, but if you’re wanting to see what the company was doing in an era that is often forgotten, it’s worth a quick look.

 

 

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Wrestlemania XII
Date: March 31, 1996
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 18,853
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

Much like last year, there’s nothing else to talk about besides the main event. This is all about Shawn vs. Bret and they’re not even trying to hide it. The other big match on the card is Diesel vs. Undertaker but it’s so far behind the World Title match that it’s not fair to mention them in the same breath. Let’s get to it.

Before we get to the show, here’s a bonus that probably should have been on the main card (at least on paper). Occasionally WWF would air a match on their pre-show (known as the Kickoff Show in modern times) and I’ll include them if they’re available. There were dark matches for years before Wrestlemania would go on the air but this is the first that was actually recorded.

Free For All: Tag Team Titles: Godwinns vs. Bodydonnas

This is a tournament final for the vacant titles. The Bodydonnas (Skip and Zip, a pair of exercise enthusiasts) have Sunny, a rather attractive manager and the Godwinns (Henry O. and Phineas I. (get it?), hog farmers) have Hillbilly Jim in their corner. Of note there’s a big blimp flying around over the lower arena, making it practically impossible for fans sitting behind it to see a thing.

Henry and Zip start things off and a wheelbarrow slam gives the Godwinns early control. Phineas comes in and has one of his fits as he clears the ring. The fans aren’t exactly thrilled by any of this. Things settle back down and it’s Henry catapulting Zip over the top and down onto Skip for a nice crash to get the crowd into things a bit. For some reason Phineas tries to come in (he never was that bright) and the Bodydonnas take over with a double slingshot suplex.

Skip drops Zip into a legdrop onto Henry but a Rocket Launcher misses. The cold tag brings in Phineas to clean house and Skip is in trouble. Phineas loads up the Slop Drop (reverse DDT) but Sunny gets on the apron and pulls up her skirt to flash Phineas, allowing Skip to roll him up for the pin and the titles at 5:24.

Rating: D-. Thankfully these things would get better later on because this was terrible. It’s probably better that this wasn’t on the main show as people really didn’t need to see how dismal the tag division had become at this point. There were so many lame gimmick teams like this and they took years to get better, but even then it only lasted for a short time. Terrible match but the right result.

The opening video is entirely focused on Bret vs. Shawn and their contrasting personalities with Bret being all about respect and Shawn being very in your face. They respect each other coming in and this is going to be a great test for both, even though looking back there was no question about which way this was going.

Jake Roberts/Ahmed Johnson/Yokozuna vs. British Bulldog/Owen Hart/Vader

Johnson is an athletic freak who would have been WWF World Champion had he not been so injury prone. Yokozuna is even heavier than ever and is in this match to get his hands on the heels’ manager Jim Cornette if the good guys win. Vader is Cornette’s new charge and really shouldn’t need an introduction. The big guys start brawling at the start and it’s Yokozuna’s team clearing house with Yokozuna launching Ahmed over the top and out onto Vader. That’s good for a better reaction than anything in the Tag Team Title match had and we’re less than a minute in.

Vader and Yokozuna slug it out to start with Yokozuna getting the better of it until Owen and Vader get him down in the corner. Vader pounds him down with rights and lefts but misses a splash, allowing the hot tag to Ahmed. We get some real house cleaning from the powerhouse but Vader gets in a shot from behind. Vince talks about a herd of buffalo until Owen dropkicks Johnson down, allowing Vader to come back in for some more big shots to the head.

Ahmed completely misses a clothesline to Owen (Johnson had a great look and awesome charisma but he couldn’t do the actual wrestling part) and makes the tag off to Jake for his signature punches. Owen blocks the DDT though and it’s off to Bulldog for a front facelock. The heels keep taking turns on Jake and Owen’s top rope elbow gets two. Bulldog’s running powerslam gets the same (that’s a big surprise) and so does a splash from Vader.

Jake finally avoids a legdrop and falls into the tag off to Yokozuna who pounds Vader down in the corner again. Owen takes the DDT but Jake has to intercept an interfering Cornette. That looks to set up a DDT on Cornette but Vader makes the save and Vader Bombs Jake for the pin at 13:11.

Rating: C-. This didn’t need to be so long and the teasing of Yokozuna getting his hands on Cornette didn’t go anywhere. They did however keep Jake in there for the most part and that’s the right idea given how good he was at selling a beating like that. Yokozuna was only good for quick bursts at this point and the weight would lead to him leaving the company. Vader was clearly on the rise as he was a monster but one who could move with very impressive speed, making him a great addition to the main event.

Call the Hotline!

We recap Roddy Piper vs. Goldust, which can be translated to “Razor Ramon had drug issues so here’s Piper instead.” Piper is a man’s man and President of the WWF, but Goldust (still very bizarre in actions here instead of just in name only) is attracted to Piper and his power. That’s not cool with Roddy and it’s time for a fight at Wrestlemania. Not a match mind you, but they’re going to be fighting in a back lot.

Roddy Piper vs. Goldust

This is a Hollywood Back Lot Brawl and Piper is waiting, baseball bat in hand. Goldust drives up in a gold Cadillac, which Piper attacks with a fire hose and then the more logical bat. Piper goes after Goldust with the bat and the camera is jumping all over the place. They break up a concessions table and Piper beats him all over the lot, including some HARD right hands that sounded like they were making some very real impact.

Goldust gets slammed onto the hood of the car and seems to be bleeding from somewhere. A low blow slows Piper down and Goldust runs him over, causing Piper (or more likely a stunt man) to hang on as Goldust drives through the lot. Piper finally falls off and steals a white Bronco to chase after Goldust. No rating due to time but we’re not done with this yet.

Savio Vega vs. Steve Austin

Vega is a Puerto Rican brawler and Austin is the Million Dollar Champion (not on the line here) with Ted DiBiase in his corner. These two had been fighting for a bit but it was made worse when they had to team together in the Tag Team Title tournament. Austin didn’t want to win and laid out Savio instead. We’re ready to go after Savio says he’s ready for anything.

They slug it out and the brawl is quickly on the floor where a DiBiase distraction doesn’t do Austin any good. Back in and Vega’s shoulder goes into the post as Austin takes over on his own. That’s a nice, subtle point and would come into play months later when Austin intentionally got DiBiase sent out of the company.

Austin tries to work on the arm but Savio takes over with some nice kicks. Oh wait though as Roddy Piper calls in to say he’s chasing Goldust down the freeway because this isn’t over. Vega flips out of a chinlock but the arm is still bothering him. Austin comes back with a middle rope elbow as Piper gets on the phone again but his phone keeps cutting off when he’s about to swear. This is a bad sitcom plot.

A pinfall reversal sequence gets a few near falls each but we have an aerial shot of Piper…..which is the video from the OJ Simpson car chase. Back to the match (which shouldn’t have to happen more than once ever) and Austin dives into a raised boot to put both guys down. Savio wins a slugout but a spinwheel kick takes out the referee. The distraction lets DiBiase throw in the title belt goes upside Savio’s head twice, allowing Austin to put on the Million Dollar Dream until the referee wakes up to call the match at 10:03.

Rating: C. The match was entertaining while they actually focused on it but instead we had to sit through Piper calling in (likely from backstage) to advance this stupid idea that no one not named McMahon finds funny. These two feuded for several months and it was a very underrated pairing with both guys getting better as a result. Of course Austin would move on to a much bigger feud later in the year and never looked back, but this was really fun stuff like it lasted.

Austin won’t let the hold go for a long time after the match is over.

More Piper footage which is still from the OJ chase.

We recap Undertaker pulling Diesel through the mat last month at In Your House VI and then Diesel seeing himself in a coffin. Diesel says he’s dealing with Undertaker tonight and then Shawn is next. Yes Shawn and not the title. I guess even Diesel knew what was coming in the main event.

Another half second of Piper footage as the announcers make sure to not say where they’ve seen this before.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Ultimate Warrior

Helmsley has a new valet (like he did every week) named Sable. Warrior is making his return for the first time since 1992 and Lawler had been suggesting that he was 400lbs and bald. Of course he’s his normal (normalish I guess) self and Lawler looks like an idiot again. Helmsley (who is TINY by comparison to what he would become) attacks Warrior before the bell and hits the Pedigree thirty seconds in. Warrior is almost to his feet faster than Helmsley though and it’s time for the clotheslines and shoulders. The gorilla press and splash end Helmsley at 1:39, though I think he’ll be fine. Warrior would be gone again by July.

Merchandise ad.

The debuting Wildman Marc Mero (Johnny B. Badd from WCW) says he’s ready for the competition here in the WWF. Helmsley stumbles in and they get in a fight to set up Mero’s first feud.

In Your House VII ad.

Diesel vs. Undertaker

This is the first time Undertaker has had a really serious challenger at Wrestlemania in a few years and for once he feels like he’s in real danger. These two have cost each other title shots at the last two pay per views and now it’s time for them to go one on one in a marginal dream match. Diesel wins a slugout to start and crushes Undertaker with a running clothesline in the corner.

Undertaker misses his big elbow but sits right back up and they quickly on the floor. A quick ram into the steps looks to set up the tombstone back inside but Diesel slips off the back and kicks Undertaker in the face for two. They’re flying through this so far. Undertaker misses the jumping clothesline and crashes into the ropes, only to snap Diesel’s throat across the top. Diesel is right back though and throws Undertaker into the barricade before stopping to pose.

Back in and the side slam gets two, followed by Snake Eyes (actually called that by Vince, I believe for the only time ever) to keep Undertaker in trouble. In a rare sight, both guys connect with a big boot at the same time (that’s hard to do when you think about it). It’s Diesel up first and we hit the bearhug on Undertaker. Lawler: “YOU GOT HIM BAY-BAY!”

Undertaker suplexes his way out of it but Diesel is up again and scores with the Jackknife. He’d rather celebrate than cover though and Undertaker eventually sits up. That’s fine with Diesel as he hits a second Jackknife but still won’t cover, allowing Undertaker to get up and grab him by the throat. That earns Undertaker a belly to back suplex but he pops up for a bad looking chokeslam. Undertaker plants Diesel with the Tombstone for the pin at 16:37 to make it 5-0.

Rating: B. Diesel was on his way out for WCW but he was actually having better matches every month right before he left. This was by far the best Undertaker Wrestlemania match so far as they were beating the tar out of each other. It’s nice to see Undertaker actually in some trouble instead of just destroying people for a change and Diesel gave him a great challenge. This was much better than I was expecting and a great big man fight.

Ultimate Warrior is on America Online.

Goldust and Piper return in their cars and fight to the ring with Goldust getting the better of it. Another low blow has Piper in trouble and now it’s time for Goldust to strip him. Piper’s bad leg is wrapped around the post but it just seems to fire him up even more. Goldust goes to kiss him but punches Piper in the face instead. That’s fine with Piper as he crotches Goldust on top, only to have Goldust kiss him. Piper will have none of that and he hammers away before grabbing Goldust between the legs. Now it’s time for a spanking, followed by Piper stripping Goldust down to some S&M lingerie to finally end it.

Piper’s son Colt comes in to celebrate with him.

We look back at the history of Bret vs. Shawn with a focus on both of their (singles) history in the company. Shawn has been rising through the ranks and is looking to fulfill his boyhood dream. We also get a focus on their training style with Shawn learning under high flier Jose Lothario and Bret being taught submissions by his father Stu Hart. This worked very well and summed up the entire idea in about a minute and a half.

Shawn says everyone knows the story and now it’s time for the final chapter.

Bret says he just wants to wake up tomorrow morning with the title.

Gorilla Monsoon is introduced as the new President of the WWF.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels

Bret is defending and this is a sixty minute Iron Man match, meaning the most falls (pin, submission, countout, disqualification) in the time limit wins. Lothario comes out with no Shawn but he points to the top of the arena for Shawn’s famous zipline entrance into the crowd. That shot of him riding down into the arena was shown on a lot of highlight packages for a very long time. Hebner explains the rules in full, even down to how a countout works, and we’re ready to go.

Feeling out process to start as Shawn grabs some quick takedowns to frustrate Bret just a bit. Bret holds on to a headlock to slow things down as Vince tries to say there are no Bret or Shawn fans but only WWF fans. Lawler is all over him for sounding stupid as this headlock continues. In this case though it makes sense as both guys would want to conserve energy.

Shawn fights up into a top wristlock but Bret reverses into a front facelock. That goes nowhere so Shawn escapes into an armbar. They get to their feet and try to pick up the pace but it’s right back to the mat for more arm cranking on the champ. Bret takes him into the corner for some shots to the ribs but Shawn forearms him in the jaw and headscissors Bret to the floor.

We’re ten minute in and you might think that headscissors would start the second gear but instead it’s right back to the armbar from Shawn. Bret stops to yell at Lothario and the distraction lets Shawn crank on the arm all over again. The hold stays on so long that Vince and Jerry actually talk strategy and analyze the match. Back up and Michaels gets caught in a spinebuster but fights out of a Sharpshooter attempt. They head to the floor and Bret is sent into the timekeeper’s area where a superkick takes the timekeeper’s (who looked a lot like Tony Chimmel) head off.

Back in and Bret grabs a chinlock to slow things down all over again. Shawn FINALLY fights up and hits a hard clothesline but Bret nails one of his own and it’s right back to that chinlock. Another comeback from Shawn includes a dropkick and there’s another armbar. We’re twenty minutes in and this already isn’t boding well. Shawn pulls on the wrist with his foot in Bret’s face before switching to a regular armbar. Good thing too as the fans might have been interested in something different.

Back up and they get a bit more aggressive as Bret’s shoulder is sent into the post. A shoulder breaker and hammerlock slam (shades of the Andersons) have Bret in even more trouble but Shawn isn’t following up. There’s a cross armbreaker on the wrong arm so Shawn quickly switches to the proper version. Shawn switches up to a seated armbar for a good bit until Bret fights up with a Stun Gun for the break. The arm keeps giving him problems though and Shawn sends Bret face first into the buckle. Bret isn’t done yet though as he comes back with the Five Moves of Doom.

For some reason he goes to the top rope and Shawn is ready to catch him, but Bret puts his knee on the back of Shawn’s head and drives him down onto the mat. Shawn comes back with a powerslam for two as there are thirty minutes to go. A slam brings Bret off the top again and a hurricanrana lets Shawn hammer away. That’s one of the first lucha style moves Shawn has used after basically promising to use a bunch of them. Nice little head game there and not something you often see work on Bret.

The threat of Sweet Chin Music sends Bret to the floor but Michaels goes to the top and LAUNCHES himself down onto Bret. That was one heck of a dive and always impresses me whenever I see this match. Back in and a PerfectPlex gets two on the champ. We hit a sleeper, which is smart but annoying after everything we’ve sat through here. Bret fights up (the arm injury disappeared a long time ago) and backdrops Shawn WAY over the top for a huge crash. Lothario comes over to check on him but somehow it’s not a countout.

Back in and Bret works on the back with an ax handle and backbreaker. There are twenty minutes left and Bret drops him with a belly to back superplex. We hit the reverse chinlock for a bit until Shawn fights up, only to have Bret throw him to the floor and into Lothario. With fifteen minutes to go, Bret even screams at Jose as he tries to get up and belly to bellys Shawn down for two. That’s rather heelish of him. The yelling, not the suplex.

Shawn’s right hands don’t get him anywhere as Bret counters a rollup by kicking Michaels outside again. This time it’s Bret diving through the ropes to take Shawn down again. Bret is willing to take the countout now but then changes his mind and breaks it up. Lawler: “He’s his own worst enemy! No, not as long as I’m still alive.” Back in and a German suplex gets two for the champ and Shawn can barely stand. He’s still able to slug it out from his knees though, telling Bret to bring it on.

A big headbutt puts Shawn down but Bret can’t follow up. After a few shakes of his head, Bret grabs another reverse chinlock and we have ten minutes to go. Shawn fights up yet again but it’s a double clothesline to reset things all over again. There’s a superplex from Bret as Vince declares it over at the six minute mark. He’s wrong on both counts as not only does it not get a fall but there were nearly seven minutes left.

Shawn kicks Bret in the face to block a Sharpshooter so Hart has to settle for a half crab instead. Unfortunately Shawn is right next to the ropes for the save and we’ve got five minutes left. Bret dives into a boot and both guys are down again. Shawn comes back with a nice dropkick to send Bret into the corner and there’s the Irish whip for Bret’s chest first buckle bump. Four minutes left and Shawn forearms into the nipup (which the camera misses) as it’s time for a comeback. Lawler: “Michaels has just gotten his nineteenth wind!”

With three minutes left, Shawn gets two off a top rope ax handle. The top rope elbow gets the same and Shawn plants him with a gutwrench powerbomb. He goes up with two minutes left and a moonsault press gets another near fall. A middle rope hurricanrana gets the same and Shawn is winded. With a minute left, Shawn goes up top but misses a dropkick and gets caught in the Sharpshooter. Bret cranks back on it but the time limit expires at 1:00:00.

We’re not done yet though as Bret goes to leave, only to have Monsoon make a ruling that we’re getting sudden death because THERE MUST BE A WINNER. Bret is ticked and starts hammering away on the back but Shawn jumps over him in the corner and hits Sweet Chin Music out of nowhere. Everyone (including me when I was watching live) jumps to their feet but Shawn can’t follow up. Both guys stagger to their feet and another superkick gives Shawn the first fall and the title at 1:01:50.

Rating: B-. This is a really tricky one to grade but the first twenty minutes ruin whatever else they could have had here. It’s just a bunch of laying around in rest holds, which may make sense but that doesn’t mean it’s entertaining. This would have been much better off as a regular match running about forty minutes as it increases drama and lets you believe that something might happen at any given moment.

The match is fondly remembered and it’s certainly not bad, but it’s definitely nowhere near a classic. Allegedly neither guy wanted to job multiple times to the other and it caused the match to be a bunch of waiting around for the first and decisive fall, which made for a dull match until the last five minutes. Unfortunately that’s the case with almost all Iron Man matches and it certainly happened here too. Good match, but not as great as it’s hyped up to be.

Bret is all ticked off and leaves, not to be seen for over seven months. Vince gets in the great line of “the boyhood dream has come true for Shawn Michaels.” Shawn is stunned but finally celebrates like you knew he was going to do.

A highlight package takes us out.

Overall Rating: B. This was a one match show but the Diesel vs. Undertaker match was more than enough to help push it up to a higher level. This was still a bad time for the company but they were smart enough to go with a new direction. Shawn’s success as champion would be hit or miss on his best day but there was no question that this was the right move at the time. It’s not a great show, but when nearly half of it is spent on an entertaining enough match, the show is a success.

Ratings Comparison

Camp Cornette vs. Yokozuna/Jake Roberts/Ahmed Johnson

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C-

Steve Austin vs. Savio Vega

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: C

Ultimate Warrior vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Undertaker vs. Diesel

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B

Roddy Piper vs. Goldust

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Shawn Michaels vs. Bret Hart

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: B-

I’m kind of stunned that the Iron Man has stayed consistent.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/19/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-12-one-really-long-match-and-not-much-else/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/21/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xii-grabbing-the-brass-ring/

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania IX
Date: April 4, 1993
Location: Caesars Palace, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 16,891
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bobby Heenan, Randy Savage

This is one of the weakest cards the series has ever seen. Nothing on the show feels important with the main event of Bret Hart defending the WWF World Title against Royal Rumble winner Yokozuna feeling lukewarm at best. The second biggest match is Hulk Hogan/Brutus Beefcake challenging Money Inc. for the Tag Team Titles. Like I said: not the strongest card. Let’s get to it.

Gorilla Monsoon is the host this year, meaning he’ll be on screen for less than five minutes. Like everyone else, Monsoon is in a toga because it’s a toga party. I’m still not sure who thought this was a good idea.

In one of the major moments of the show, Jim Ross (JR) makes his WWF debut and talks about the main events before taking his place as lead commentator. I really could have gone through life without ever seeing him in a toga.

Finkus Maximus (just go with it) introduces Caesar and Cleopatra on an elephant while JR gives a history of elephants and Rome. This is kind of missing the point of a wrestling show but Randy Savage is brought out on a sedan to make things a bit better. To really cap it off, Heenan comes out riding a camel backwards.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Tatanka

Shawn is defending after winning the title in November and has Luna Vachon, a rather scary woman with several tattoos on her face, trailing behind him. Tatanka is still undefeated and Sherri follows him out but it’s not clear if they’re associated. Heenan: “She’s here to beg Shawn Michaels to take her back!” Savage: “Wrong again camel breath.” Shawn goes for the leg to start but Tatanka kicks him away a few times as Heenan recaps the history here, roughly three minutes after JR did so.

The champ grabs a headlock for a bit before going up top, only to dive into an armdrag. More weak armdrags send Shawn to the mat before he channels his inner Nature Boy with a Flair Flip in the corner. A Tatanka chop knocks him off the apron so Shawn has to go to the eyes (another Flair standard) to get a breather. Things speed up until Shawn charges into an atomic drop and gets caught in a DDT.

Off to an armbar from Tatanka as Shawn apparently came into this with a bad shoulder. Back up and Shawn tries a clothesline but hurts his own arm in the process and it’s right back to the armbar. A charge sends Shawn’s shoulder into the post again and we hit the third armbar in a row. There’s a shoulder breaker but Tatanka doesn’t know how to follow up (Savage: “I would have covered him right there!”) so he goes to the top and dives into a superkick (still not a finish).

Shawn throws him to the floor and hits a great looking clothesline from the apron. It’s time to focus on the women for a bit with Shawn yelling at Sherri, only to turn around and get two off a swinging neckbreaker. Things settle down with a chinlock before Shawn starts firing off left hands as the arm is suddenly fine. Shawn tries a bad looking victory roll for two before going up top again for another victory roll which is countered into an electric chair (they just repeated the spot which always exposes too much).

Tatanka goes on the warpath (his version of Hulking Up) and starts the chops, followed by a catapult into the post as Shawn is now channeling Mr. Perfect. Shawn dives into a powerslam for two and they roll to the floor as the fans chant for Sherri. Heenan doesn’t understand why they’re doing that but his questioning gets cut off as Shawn pulls the referee to the floor. The Papoose To Go (fall away slam) knocks Shawn silly but he’s been disqualified at 18:08.

Rating: B. That’s a very frustrating ending but it makes sense as they wanted to keep the title on Shawn but didn’t want to end Tatanka’s undefeated streak, leaving them with few alternatives. Still though, this was one heck of a match though a bit longer than it needed to be. The shoulder stopped being a thing about halfway through, even though Shawn stopped selling as he was known to do. Tatanka just didn’t have anything past the basics but the fans got behind him due to his charisma, which is all you need most of the time.

Shawn leaves and Luna slams Sherri on the floor.

Recent arrivals the Steiner Brothers say this is their first Wrestlemania but it’s going to be one to be remembered and they’ll make Julius Caesar proud.

Headshrinkers vs. Steiner Brothers

The Headshrinkers are Samu and Fatu (later known as Rikishi) and the Steiners are Rick and Scott, a pair of hard hitting amateur wrestling brothers. At the bell, JR debuts the term slobberknocker to make this one historic. Scott and Fatu get things going with Scott easily taking him down via a nice amateur double leg. Fatu tries to make it into a slugout but Scott just takes his head off with a clothesline. The Headshrinkers double team Scott down so he and Rick get up on the same buckle for stereo top rope clotheslines. That looked awesome.

Things settle down as JR breaks some news about Luna attacking Sherri in the first aid station. Heenan won’t go back to check for an update because the camel is back there. Heenan: “Luna probably worked over the camel too.” Samu’s head cracks off the post and Scott dropkicks Fatu for good measure. Back up and Samu tries a hot shot but drops Scott face first over the top in a sick looking landing.

The Headshrinkers’ manager Afa CRACKS Scott in the back with his staff to keep him in trouble. Fatu’s middle rope headbutt gets two and Scott is almost out of it. The bad beating continues as Fatu sends him into the post, FINALLY drawing Rick over to check on his brother. Back in and Scott makes the eternal mistake of hitting a Samoan in the head, earning him a superkick. Yeah there’s really no defending that. You don’t hit a Samoan in the head.

Samu comes in and rakes the eyes as JR tries to call the match while Heenan argues with Savage. The fans chant for the Steiners as something like the Demolition Decapitator gets two on Scott. Back up and it’s a double clothesline as the announcers argue over what states border Oklahoma. Samu misses a headbutt and Scott finally tags off to Rick for some house cleaning and Samoan suplexing.

JR calls him Dog Face (short for Dog Face Gremlin, Rick’s nickname. That brings up a good sign for Ross. Back in 1993, not everyone would watch both companies, meaning some fans might not realize that JR has called Steiner Brothers matches before. On his first match he knows Rick’s nickname, making him look like he’s done his homework) as he beats up both Headshrinkers but a double headbutt drops Rick with ease.

A double Stroke of all things sets up what looks to be a Doomsday Device but Rick belly to bellys Fatu out of the air for an INSANE counter. I’ve never seen that before or since and it still looked great. Scott tags himself in but eats another superkick, only to come back with a bad Frankensteiner for the pin at 14:22.

Rating: A-. I like this match more every time I watch it as they were beating the fire out of each other here with some of the stiffest shots you’ll find. The Steiners always worked stiff and the Headshrinkers could go step for step with them. Some of the spots here were amazing with that suplex from the shoulders being a major highlight. Awesome, hard hitting match here which never broke down into a brawl.

Call the Hotline!

Doink the Clown (very evil) has desecrated a bust of Julius Caesar but calls it art. We see Doink attacking Crush with a false arm (with Vince shouting that he took his own arm out of the socket until Savage point out that it’s obviously a cast to shut him up) to set up their match tonight. Doink thinks Crush will be seeing double vision.

Crush vs. Doink the Clown

Crush is a now big power guy from Hawaii in bright purple and orange. Doink has an umbrella with him but Crush knocks it out of his hands and rams the clown face first into the post. Some right hands to the face have no effect on Crush so he grabs a neckbreaker and keeps up the beating. Doink finally gets a break by guillotining him across the top rope. A piledriver gets no cover so Doink rams him into the post. Heenan: “Break the pineapple head!”

The Clown makes the eternal mistake of going up top and jumping straight down feet first, allowing Crush to raise a boot and take over again. Crush clotheslines him to the floor and Doink tries to hide under the ring. Amazingly enough a clown isn’t very good at keeping out of sight. Crush drags him back inside but the referee gets bumped.

It’s time for the head vice (Crush’s finisher where he squeezes his opponent’s head like a vice, making it a very appropriate name) but a second Doink pops up with the arm cast to knock Crush silly. The second Doink hides under the ring and the referee wakes up just in time to count the pin on Crush at 8:27.

Rating: D. And the really good match streak ends at two. This was a bizarre choice for a story as Crush would seem to be ready for a big push but he loses to Doink at Wrestlemania. Now to be fair, Doink is a very interesting character when he’s still all evil. Once he turned face as he was destined to do, there was no way he could be anything more than a joke. There’s certainly something interesting about an evil clown (see the Joker) but unfortunately that wasn’t going to last in 1993.

Another referee comes out and looks under the ring but can’t find anyone.

Some Japanese photographers don’t know about Doink but love Yokozuna.

Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund

Ramon debuted late last year but the crowd is rapidly turning him face. Backlund is an old veteran who is making a nostalgia run and having some good matches despite being in his early 40s and being out of the ring for years. Ever the good sport, Backlund offers a handshake but gets a toothpick to the chest for his efforts. A LOUD Razor chant starts us off as JR hypes up the Hotline. Backlund starts fast by sweeping the leg a few times so Razor punches him in the jaw.

As the match goes on, Savage casually brings up Lex Luger knocking Bret Hart out cold earlier today. So this information has been known all day and it’s just NOW being brought up, an hour into the show? Backlund forearms him down and hooks a nice butterfly suplex, followed by an atomic drop, a high spot for him back in the day. Back up and Bob tries a slam, only to get small packaged for the pin at 3:45.

Rating: D. I guess they haven’t gotten all the filler matches out of their system yet. This was a decent way to showcase Razor but it wasn’t the most interesting thing in the world. Backlund was quite the return story but that’s the best they can do to make Razor look like a big star?

Ad for King of the Ring.

Money Inc. isn’t worried about the Mega Maniacs (Hulk Hogan/Brutus Beefcake with Jimmy Hart, who jumped to yet another team) after crushing Beefcake’s face with their metal briefcase. Hogan has threatened to bankrupt Money Inc. but how do you bankrupt a company with an unlimited credit line? I.R.S. promises to make Beefcake’s face look like a jigsaw puzzle with some missing pieces.

Tag Team Titles: Mega Maniacs vs. Money Inc.

Money Inc is defending and Hogan comes in with a black eye, with explanations ranging from a jet-ski accident (official and most likely story), DiBiase hiring a bunch of people to attack him (storyline story) and Randy Savage punching him in the face over accusations that Hogan was sleeping with Elizabeth when she and Savage were still married (possibly true). Beefcake has a metal mask to protect his face and the team gets a decent but certainly not great reaction.

I.R.S. and Beefcake get things going but the champs are quickly double teaming. DiBiase tries an ax handle to the metal mask and hurts his hand as you would expect. Some rams into the buckle have no effect either. Come on Ted you’re smarter than this. Now we get the tag to Hogan for his first match in a year. He hammers down right hands in the corner, despite having FAR smaller muscles than he did the last time we saw him.

Hogan finally mixes up the offense with a big boot before going back to the right hands. A Piper style poke to the eye is enough to send Money Inc. walking but the referee says if they walk out, the titles change hands. As usual, Hogan has some corrupt official helping him out. Back in again and Heenan gets very close to accusing Savage of having something to do with the black eye.

DiBiase gets in a cheap shot to take over on Hulk, allowing I.R.S. to choke with a tag rope. More choking ensues until we hit the Million Dollar Dream but Hogan seems moderately annoyed by it instead of in any kind of trouble. It’s basically a chinlock with the arm trapped but Savage takes the attention off of it with this gem: “They’re hanging from the rafters……if they had rafters……but I’ll tell you what they have columns and they’re hanging from them!”

Beefcake comes in with his own sleeper to DiBiase for the save as Hogan is actually out from the hold. That’s certainly a new one. Hogan gets up at about nine and the hot tag brings in Beefcake. Well hot is a stretch as the fans don’t seem to care but it’s been a pretty dull match so far. Beefcake cleans house until DiBiase hits him in the back with the metal briefcase.

DiBiase gets smart by taking off Brutus’ mask so Heenan makes face off jokes. A double clothesline puts the champs down but Beefcake puts I.R.S. in the sleeper instead of tagging. DiBiase makes a quick save but the referee gets bumped. The tag brings in Hogan but there’s no one to see it. Hulk comes in anyway and hits both guys with the mask. Jimmy Hart tries to wake up the referee but when that doesn’t work, he turns his jacket inside out to reveal referee stripes and counts the pin to end the match at 18:43.

Rating: D. This was much more long than anything else and the whole thing got stupid at the end. Hogan was WAY past his expiration date at this point and it was pretty clear based on this match. Beefcake wouldn’t wrestle for the company again but naturally Hogan brought him in for the main event of WCW’s biggest show the next year.

Hogan and Beefcake hold up the titles, making them the only two people in the arena stupid enough to think that counts. Another referee comes out and says not quite as Money Inc. wins by DQ. Ever the good losers, Hogan poses to limited cheering but then cracks open the briefcase and gives away the money inside (along with a brick. Why you would need a brick when you have a METAL BRIEFCASE?). So now he’s stealing in addition to looking like a moron with that ending. Hogan is a four time WWF World Champion and now he thinks his manager counting a pin is supposed to change a title? What a hero: a cheating moron.

Singer Natalie Cole gets a nothing interview to say she’s having fun. The CEO of the casino is happy with everything that’s going on.

Mr. Perfect isn’t worried about Lex Luger being a knockout artist with that forearm (which contains a steel plate). He’s been on a roll this week with a hole in one playing golf and he’s been hot at the tables so let’s make it one more win tonight.

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

Luger is still the Narcissist and comes out with some barely clothed women that have the announcers drooling. They trade wristlocks to start and Perfect shoves the much stronger Luger into the corner. A big running knee lift knocks Luger down and a dropkick sends him to the floor as this is almost all Perfect so far.

Back in and Luger sends him into the buckle but Perfect just kind of staggers around. After that awkward selling, Perfect starts going after the knee and slaps on a spinning toehold. Back up and Perfect’s bad back is sent hard into the buckle as this isn’t exactly taking off. A backbreaker keeps Perfect in trouble and Luger rolls him up in the corner for two but gets caught with his feet on the ropes.

Perfect comes back with a sleeper but gets driven back first into the buckle. At least Luger is focusing on a body part and sticking with it. Perfect finally tries his own worst enemy and catapults Luger into the buckle. It doesn’t quite work the same but maybe the idea scared him. A missile dropkick gets two on Luger but he counters a backslide and shoves Perfect’s feet into the ropes for the surprise pin at 10:56.

Rating: D+. And that’s being generous. This really didn’t work as neither guy could get anything going. Perfect was in a weird place here as he was still talented but didn’t really have a character. Luger was just that forearm but would somehow wind up being the co-top hero in the company in just a few months. It didn’t work for either guy here though and the match was pretty boring.

Luger knocks Perfect out and walks off. Perfect slowly gets up and goes after him but gets jumped by Shawn Michaels to start their summer long feud. This triggers a big argument between Savage and Heenan with Macho Man getting up and pointing his finger in Heenan’s face. Believe it or not, Heenan actually doesn’t run away.

Gorilla previews the rest of the show.

Giant Gonzalez vs. Undertaker

Gonzalez is a 7’8 monster (wearing a full body skin colored spandex suit with muscles drawn on and fur at the shoulders) who was brought in by Harvey Wippleman to replace Kamala, who Undertaker dispatched to end 1992. This is the same story that would be used about thirteen years later when Undertaker feuded with Daivari’s lineup of monsters.

Undertaker comes out in a funeral chariot complete with a vulture for his first cool Wrestlemania entrance. Undertaker, a legitimate 6’10, comes up to Gonzalez’s chest. Some big forearms have little effect but Gonzalez is nice enough to sell an uppercut that clearly missed.

A low blow doesn’t have much effect on Undertaker so he comes back with Old School. Undertaker gets thrown around and we hit a standing chinlock. Gonzalez gets bored and throws Undertaker to the floor and then into the steps. The power of the urn gets Undertaker back to his feet and inside but Gonzalez headbutts him right back down. Some awkward strikes stagger the Giant and he goes down to one knee so Harvey throws in a towel with chloroform to knock Undertaker out but it’s an obvious DQ at 7:34.

Rating: F. This was awful and maybe Undertaker’s worst Wrestlemania match ever. Gonzalez was just terrible and made everyone else look bad too because no one could do anything with someone so big and awkward. On top of that, the ending sets up a rematch instead of just ending this lame feud once and for all here like they should have.

Undertaker is stretchered out and Gonzalez lumbers around the ring. Eventually Undertaker’s music plays and he staggers to the ring to clean house.

Call the Hotline!

Gene, after talking about Heenan going to buy new underwear, shows us a clip of Yokozuna crushing Jim Duggan’s ribs. Yokozuna followed it up by winning the Royal Rumble and then crushing WWF World Champion Bret Hart’s ribs at the contract signing. Enough of that though as Gene brings in Hulk Hogan, who has been talking to Bret and assuring him that all the Hulkamaniacs are in his corner. Since he was attacked last night, Hogan wants Bret to make sure he’s watching everyone around him.

Oh and one more thing: Hogan wants the first shot either at Bret or at “the Jap” if he wins the title. As for a prediction, he thinks the title is staying in the USA in the match between a Canadian and a Polynesian wrestler billed from Japan. As usual, Hulk never was one for the most in depth thinking in the world.

Todd Pettengill (a very stupid interviewer) interviews some frat boys.

WWF World Title: Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart

The 505lb Yokozuna is challenging and has Mr. Fuji in his corner. The announcers have spent most of the show talking about how Bret is the huge underdog after being knocked out by Luger, sat on by Yokozuna and then just being in trouble against the monster in general. Bret charges across the ring for a running dropkick and some right hands, only to have Yokozuna shove him down and shoulder him out to the floor.

Yokozuna tries to kick the champ while he’s down but Bret grabs the foot and ties him up in the ropes to get the big man down. Bret fires off more right hands and drops a middle rope elbow until the referee breaks Yokozuna free. The big man is up and slams Bret with ease before dropping a huge leg/various other parts on Bret’s face for no cover. The fans chant USA to support the Canadian so Yokozuna chokes him down before switching to a nerve hold.

Back up and Bret gets his feet up in the corner, setting up something like a middle rope bulldog for two. That earns the champ a superkick and another nerve hold to continue boring the crowd. Heenan points out the stupidity of the USA chants as Bret fights up and gets a better middle rope bulldog for another two.

A pair of clotheslines put Yokozuna down for half a second so Bret punches away in the corner. Yokozuna shoves him so hard that the turnbuckle pad is pulled off, only to have Bret ram the monster face first into it. The Sharpshooter actually goes on but Fuji throws salt in his eyes, giving Yokozuna the pin and the title at 8:56.

Rating: D+. They did what they could do here but the story of “Bret is going to get killed” is about as lame of a way to set up a title match as you can get. Bret was hammering away with everything he had but like Gonzalez (albeit a much better version), there’s only so much that could be done here, especially when you’re an average size guy like Hart. This could have been much worse but it still wasn’t much to see.

Hogan is here IMMEDIATELY after the match to plead Bret’s case. You know, like all the other times Bret and Hogan have been such great friends. Due to reasons of extreme overconfidence and stupidity, Fuji is willing to give Hogan a shot RIGHT NOW. Bret gives his blind blessing and we’re off.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Yokozuna

Fuji throws salt in Yokozuna’s face by mistake (with the referee just watching) and it’s a clothesline and the legdrop to give Hogan the pin and the title at 28 seconds.

Hogan celebrates as Bret is completely forgotten to end the show. That would be Hogan’s last singles match until early June because he took seven weeks off before coming back to do tag matches with Beefcake against Money Inc. But hey, it’s another title win.

Overall Rating: D. This is actually a tricky one to grade. The show only runs about two hours and forty five minutes and the first fifty minutes are excellent stuff with two good to very good opening matches. I can’t call a show with an opening third that solid a failure by any means so the show gets some big points there.

That being said, the rest of the show goes off a cliff with the best match being the main event, which really isn’t any good and clocks in as the shortest announced Wrestlemania main event in history. Couple that with Hogan sneaking in to take the title in an ending that wasn’t the most popular in the world and you don’t have a great title picture going forward.

The word picture is appropriate here as well as this show doesn’t look like a Wrestlemania is supposed to. Instead of the biggest show of the year, this felt like a random pay per view in the mid to late summer, which actually would have helped it a lot. The outside venue is cool but it feels like a fun show rather than something big and epic like the show at Madison Square Garden or the shows in big stadiums.

Overall this show has too many problems working against it. The atmosphere was a failed experiment but the card didn’t do it any favors. Yokozuna was fine as a monster to be slayed but Hogan wasn’t the choice to do it, at least not two minutes after Yokozuna won the title at Wrestlemania. I’m supposed to be impressed that Hogan beat a tired Yokozuna and had to have salt in Yokozuna’s eyes to do it? That’s not a good end to any show but the fact that it was the end of Wrestlemania made it even worse.

Ratings Comparison

Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

Steiner Brothers vs. Headshrinkers

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: A-

Doink the Clown vs. Crush

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Money Inc. vs. Mega Maniacs

Original: C+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: D+

Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: F

Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Yokozuna vs. Hulk Hogan

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

How is this a Wrestlemania?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/16/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-9-wrestlemania-goes-outside/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/18/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-ix-why-would-fuji-do-that/

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6