In Your House #8 – Beware Of Dog – This Will Probably Never Happen Again

In Your House 8: Beware of Dog
Date: May 26/28, 1996
Location: Florence Civic Center, Florence, South Carolina/North Charleston Coliseum, North Charleston, South Carolina
Attendance: 6,000/4,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler/Jim Ross, Mr. Perfect

We’re four weeks removed from our last show, and not a lot has really changed. Bulldog vs. Shawn is your main event for the title, and that’s all well and good. However, some of you might be wondering why there are two locations, dates and attendances listed for this show. Well, the answer is simple: it happened on two different nights and there were two different PPVs.

This wasn’t intentional though, as during the Sunday night broadcast, a severe thunderstorm knocked out the power in the arena. While the people inside could still see the show to an extent, the feed was knocked out and the PPV went off the air.

The opening match, Marc Mero vs. HHH and the main event, British Bulldog vs. Shawn Michaels, were seen as the power went off after the first match and was restored before the main event. For the second PPV, the two matches that were aired on Sunday night were simple re-aired However, the other three matches weren’t seen until later on, when the home video was released.

The matches were recorded but I’m really not sure what version is on the video that I have. I’d assume it’s the originals, but I could be wrong. The second night’s matches were longer as there were two matches that weren’t redone, and on the first night there was a 30 second squash that wasn’t redone either, so we’ll be able to tell soon enough.

Also, this is the first PPV to be held after Razor and Diesel left. At the super house show at MSG on May 19, we had the Curtain Call Incident. For those of you that don’t know, it was the show where Razor Ramon, HHH, Diesel and Shawn broke kayfabe and hugged as it was Ramon and Diesel’s last night with the company.

Since Hall and Nash were leaving and Shawn was world champion, the blame and punishment was all on HHH. He was supposed to be given the King of the Ring that year, but because of this it was given to a bald headed man named Austin. After winning that tournament, he uttered the legendary Austin 3:16 promo.

Wrestling was changed forever, and without the Curtain Call, it may never have happened. On May 27, Hall showed up on Nitro and wrestling would never be the same, so this is really a landmark time in the history of the sport. I’ll go more into the historical aspects of things later as also tonight something huge happened but no one really knew what it would be.

Starting with this video, I’ll be including the Free For All match that airs. This was shown on the pre show as a free match in I suppose an attempt to get the fans that were on the fence to buy the show. Not sure how this particular pairing is going to do that but let’s try it out.

Tag Titles: Smoking Guns vs. The Godwins

The Godwins took the titles from the Bodydonnas at a house show a week prior to this, the same one that the Curtain Call happened at. Before the match, Mr. Perfect talks to the Godwins, but Sunny interrupts. Apparently Phineas signed a contract making her co-manager of the team. This is certainly from the first show as there was no dark match at the second.

This is a very fast match as it goes less than five minutes. There’s about three minutes of a match and then Billy kisses Sunny, messing up Phineas long enough for him to get suplexed and pinned. Post match, the Guns talk to Doc Hendrix and use the words “more aggressive”, signaling their heel turn. They say they’re the champions and proud of it, which is fine as they won the belts more or less cleanly. No one cares really.

Rating: C. There’s really nothing to say about this as it was so short it’s hard to grade. Granted it was on the free show, so what are you really expecting? Nothing great, but Sunny was as sexy as ever.

Now onto the main show as the rest of the pre show is nothing but promos and recaps.

Standard recap video to begin here. Shawn is great, we all love him, he might have tried to rape a woman, blah, blah, blah.

HHH vs. Marc Mero

This is the continuation of another feud that no one really cared about. It started at Mania 12 as Helmsley had Sable with him, but later said that Sable was a dime a dozen. Later on, he and Mero who was debuting that night. He and Helmsely got into a fight backstage and they had been feuding ever since with Mero being joined by Sable.

Fairly slow pace to start as Mero keeps getting his shoulder worked over. It looks like HHH’s only desire here is to hit the pedigree, as for the most part that was the extent of his offense. Vince mentions the storms and says that if they leave they will indeed be back. If nothing else at least they mentioned that it was a possibility. Mero is getting his head kicked in so far as Vince is complaining about the officiating in the WWF as of late.

He goes on to say that working on the shoulder is “smart on the part of Hunter Hearst Helmsley’s part.” Say that out loud and see how it sounds. Lawler continues chatting with HHH’s valet, who never talks or does anything at all for that matter. It’s been all arm work by HHH so far which is a different side to him that I really like. He even goes to the top and gets a decent looking chop.

That was smart as HHH isn’t a high flier but he went for something basic that looked good. Well done. He tries it again a bit later and gets crotched, which is a nice little thing saying don’t try something you’re not experienced at more than you have to. Mero hurts his knee as this is getting solid time. We’ve cracked 15 minutes and this isn’t boring yet. It’s holding up quite nicely which is always a good sign.

I really don’t like the ending here though. HHH has the pedigree hooked but drops it so Sable is sure to be watching. When he turns around he gets catapulted into the post and pinned. Way too abrupt.

We cut to the back to see Cornette talking about how he has a big bombshell for the main event, but he’s got a good one before it: Owen is the manager of Bulldog for tonight only. He gets a great line in about how Shawn made his bed and he tried to get Diana in it but now he’s sleeping alone. This is definitely from the second show as we cut from this interview where Cornette talks about a match that hasn’t happened yet to the start of the main event, but I’ll save that for the end.

I was planning on doing the original matches as well as the second editions of them, but as Beware of Dog 2 as they refer to it begins, they show why this would be difficult: not only did the feed get cut, but so did the lights at the arena.

That’s right, the matches happened, but they happened in the dark. Due to that, we move on with the rematches. Also starting with this show, Jim Ross and Mr. Perfect are your commentators. JR saying that Austin is really tough is something that never gets old. There are no rules in this so they can beat on each other all day and all night if they want to. All that matters is touching all four corners. It’s kind of trivial but at the same time it makes the match have a nice flow to it.

Strap Match: Savio Vega vs. Steve Austin

Now this was still the Ringmaster version of Austin and not yet Stone Cold. The stars continue to align for the WWF as on Sunday night, you had a standard strap match. On Monday night, DiBiase, Austin’s manager, said that if Austin loses, DiBiase would leave the company. Obviously this was the case as DiBiase joined the NWO. This is the famous part that I’m sure you’ve all heard of about the development of the Stone Cold character.

Once his manager left, the company had no idea how to use Austin. They knew in real life he was a redneck that could out curse a sailor. Since no one else had an idea, they said just do that on camera. The Texas Rattlesnake was born. Once again, something that seems so insignificant for the WWF, the power going out and DiBiase leaving, ultimately saves them.

This is one of the matches where you have to touch all four turnbuckles, so this is one of my all time favorite gimmick matches. We start with your standard back and forth beatings with the strap which is always fun. The commentators call Savio a Caribbean legend. Far from it, but it’s an interesting idea. They go onto say that he’s never lost this kind of a match. Now I have no idea if that’s true or not, but even if it’s not, that’s brilliant.

It makes Savio look like a tough guy in this match. You can see the future crazy man in Austin during this match as he beats the heck out of Savio with that strap. Apparently if Savio loses he becomes the Million Dollar Man’s chauffeur. The strap goes for 10 feet and we get a spot that I like as Austin backdrops him over the top but gets pulled out with him. That’s a good illustration of how these matches work.

I’ve always loved this match as it offers a lot of fun spots and can go for a long while before you get a winner. This was Savio’s first feud worth anything and it’s really a good one. Granted, I think most of that was because of the guy he was feuding, but it was at least entertaining. At the time it was awful in my eyes, but now it’s quite good. This match is going on for a very long time but it’s still holding its own weight.

Austin actually jumps from the top rope and hits the barrier on the floor. That’s amazing to see considering what happens to his knees in the future. This is a great fight as they’re beating the living crap out of each other. Things like that are always fun, but when they can keep you entertained for this long, you know you have something good going for you which is the case here.

After over twenty minutes of nearly killing each other, we get to the ending which is Austin dragging Savio behind him and touching the buckles, but Savio gets them as well just behind him. Finally, it comes down to one buckle with the winner being the person that gets to it. They fight over the strap, but Austin accidentally slingshots Savio into it and sends DiBiase out of the company. Post match, Savio gets the crowd to sing that song when people are leaving.

Rating: A. This was a great match. They beat the tar out of each other and it never got dull. They had a ton of time to work with and you could tell these guys wanted to beat on each other. It was the blowoff match for their feud and it went better than it should have. Excellent match, the best Savio ever had, and a great way to put Austin over without him getting pinned.

Yokozuna vs. Vader

This is the match that we were promised last month at Good Friends Better Enemies. It comes about 7 weeks after Vader hit three Vader Bombs onto the leg of Yoko on Raw, breaking it and sending him out on a forklift. We get the JR code talk, saying yes we know this match is going to suck but we have to put it on anyway because Vader needs someone to squash. However, this wasn’t the case on the last show from two days prior as Yoko pinned him after a Samoan Drop. Now however we move onto this which could be ok but it’ll likely suck.

They start off by hammering each other with big shots. That’s fine as these kinds of matches follow a very specific formula. Usually they’ll beat on each other for the big showdown then one will take over with some bad offense until we get to our finish. We set for the big clash, but Vader pulls up twice. I get that the spot works once but after that it kind of loses its specialness. When they finally explode, Vader goes flying.

That’s just not something that you say every day. Vader gets back in and just goes off on Yoko. Think of a Mike Tyson fight from the 80s or early 90s. That’s what you get here. However, he never goes off his feet. He actually hooks a takedown on Vader and takes control. This is mostly punching and ramming into each other. For the two guys that you have in there that’s as good as you’re going to get. That being said, this has been pretty good.

Finally Yoko beats Vader down long enough to set up for the Banzai. However, Cornette interferes to try to hit Yoko with the racket. He gets beaten down too as Yoko sets for the Banzai on him. Vader saves him and Vader Bombs Yoko for the pin.

Rating: C. This was a fun little match. It’s kind of like a cheap action movie. You don’t expect anything masterful, but you like what you get. Vader gets to beat the living heck out of Yoko and finally end this feud. This set up Vader as the challenger to Shawn’s title at Summerslam in a match that to this day I have never seen all the way through. Very fun little match.

Intercontinental Title: Casket Match-Undertaker vs. Goldust

Yes you read that right. This is probably the most forgotten feud in the history of the 90s. These two went at it for about three months but somehow Taker never won the title. Goldust kept escaping somehow, but no one remembers this at all. This match was designed to end the feud though with the ending to this match. We see a recap last night of Ahmed Johnson and Goldust beginning their feud.

Taker appears behind Goldust to start the match. As can be expected, this is mostly Taker beating the living tar out of Goldust for about ten minutes before a short comeback and then about five more minutes of beating down Goldust. The announcers are stunned when Goldust goes on offense and he’s the champion in this match. That’s saying a lot actually. At one point Goldust almost gets Taker in with the lid closed but Taker fights out.

We end with Taker tombstoning Goldust, but of course when he pops open the lid Mankind is inside. Mandible Claw knocks the Deadman out to end this. Post match, Mankind screws the casket shut but once the lid starts smoking and is removed, there’s no Taker inside as the show ends.

Rating: C+. Certainly not a match that was designed to mean much of anything. The whole point of this was to begin perhaps Taker’s best feud ever as he and Mankind finally get going. The match was almost a squash with Goldust absolutely getting his head handed to him by Taker for about 15 minutes, then Goldust goes on some token offense for three before Mankind comes in to take care of the big guy. If you don’t take it seriously, you’ll like it.

WWF Title: Shawn Michaels vs. British Bulldog

After Smith makes his entrance, we cut to the back to Shawn, who says anything can happen and instead of Beware of Dog, it should be beware of Kliq. He makes his intro to a big pop as could be expected.

As this is happening, Vince mentions that anyone that bought this PPV will be given a special encore of the show Tuesday night, which was actually a completely new show, save for the opener and this main event, which is kind of cool because the matches were extended on the Tuesday version. Cornette’s lawyer, Clarence Mason declares that Shawn will be sued for trying to break up the marriage of the Smiths.

Nothing ever came of this at all. Shawn dominates the early part of the match with all kinds of jumps and flips and other TNA specialties. He then puts on a headlock for far too long and while it doesn’t bring the match to a screeching halt, it does slow things down. Shawn pre-injury is amazingly impressive. He’s all over the place but he never once looks like he’s just doing random moves.

There’s a sequence to his stuff that most people just don’t have. Following a long short (yes that’s an oxymoron) arm scissors, Bulldog does the same, yet always impressive, lift up spot as these two did four years ago on SNME. More or less, Bulldog dead lifts Shawn with one arm. That’s just flat out amazing no matter who you’re for in this match.

When Shawn is down, Bulldog does this weird little hop when he kicks Shawn. He kicks his left foot out before stomping with the right one. It’s a weird looking thing as Smith almost looks like he’s dancing. Bulldog beats on Shawn for about five minutes but Shawn makes his comeback, but instead of just pinning him, we get a longer sequence which is a very nice break.

They trade the advantage for awhile but eventually we get a ref bump. Owen tries to interfere but gets a little chin music. Bulldog sets for the powerslam but Shawn gets out of it and lands a German suplex, but both men get pinned. Diana grabs the belt and tries to leave with it. To further prove why she shouldn’t be allowed on television, she holds it over her head upside down which makes her look even dumber than she already does.

Monsoon comes out and literally grabs it out of her hands. He talks to the referees and the Fink. We get the official decision: a draw, meaning Shawn keeps the title but there will be a rematch. Until then, Shawn is the champion. His music and dancing play us out.

Rating: B. This was a pretty good match. While it wasn’t a classic or anything, it did two things that great matches need to do: it surprised me with the ending and it kept me entertained. These two indeed had some chemistry together as the power game that Smith had was something that could have beaten Shawn and he was a somewhat believable challenger. They had a far better match a month later at King of the Ring where Shawn kicked his head off to pin him clean. This was good though.

Overall Rating: B+. This one is really hard to grade considering all of the confusion that happens because of the storm. However, you get five matches here, and the worst is certainly watchable. There’s nothing bad on here and with the NOW being a strong force to come against, it’s a good sign to see all that the company had coming up. You have HHH, Austin, Taker/Mankind and Michaels coming on strong and you can tell they’re all going to do something.

However, no one really remembers any of this because of how mind blowing WCW was at this time. If you watch this show out of the order that it was presented in on Tuesday night, it’s a fine way to spend two hours. Excellent show, by far the best In Your House so far and definitely a good way to spend two hours. Very high recommendation.

 

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Monday Night Raw – March 3, 1997 – Perhaps The Best TV Match Ever

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 3, 1997
Location: Deutschlandhalle, Berlin, Germany
Attendance: 6,373
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Honky Tonk Man, Jim Ross

This is a very nice surprise. I had planned to do this because it was the 200th episode (again that’s an approximation because a simple thing like counting is a hard task for a company like the WWF) but in reality it has what is considered one of the best matches in the history of Raw and possibly in the history of wrestling on free TV. We’re setting up for Wrestlemania 13 which is in about three weeks I think. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the Berlin Wall being torn down and how tonight it’s the tournament final.

Honky Tonk Man comes out for commentary.

There are three title matches tonight. This card is STACKED. See how this grabs you for an opener.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Bret Hart

For those of you that can’t do the math, that would be HHH. He’s just a midcard guy here though. Bret says he can stay focused because he has to. The fans throw in a Bret Hart bear so HHH punts it out. HHH is nowhere near what he would become so this would be like Orton vs. Mahal. Bret takes over with a headlock and they go to the mat. Honky says Bret plays it up like he’s quick but he’s really cheating.

HHH gets in a kick which might have been low as we take a break. Back with the future Game still in control and working on the arm. The jumping knee to the face takes Bret down as we talk about the submission match. HHH goes up but Bret crotches him and a superplex gets two. The Russian legsweep and middle rope elbow gets the same. Pedigree is countered but a rake to the eyes breaks up the Sharpshooter. Bret puts HHH in the Tree of Woe and goes after him but shoves the referee in the process for the DQ.

Rating: B-. Not as good as you would expect but like I said, HHH wasn’t anywhere near what he’d become. This wasn’t a terrible match and HHH certainly didn’t look bad here at all. It’s not a classic, but it’s nice to see something like this where a veteran puts over a young guy by going toe to toe with him for twenty minutes. Good stuff.

Chyna gets in Bret’s face but she’s escorted out.

There’s no Austin for an interview.

Intercontinental Title: Vader vs. Rocky Maivia

Again we have someone in the form of Rocky that isn’t anywhere near what he’d become yet. He’s the Intercontinental Champion though so he’s had a good start to his career I’d say. Vader beat Rocky in the first round of the European Title tournament so the title is in jeopardy here. All Vader to start who takes Rocky’s head off with a clothesline. Rocky hooks a rollup for two and is crushed by a splash in the corner.

Rock tries a sunset flip but Vader sits on him for two. He speeds things up and hammers away on Vader. Taking the fight to Vader always seems to be the best course of action actually and Rocky even manages a belly to back for two as we take a break. Back with Vader getting two off a splash. Paul Bearer is at ringside with Vader. A middle rope splash (not the Vader Bomb) gets two.

Vader really changes gears now by throwing on a leg lock. That’s not something you see him do that often and it goes against his style pretty hard. Vader goes up again but Rock powerslams him down for two. A pretty sweet belly to belly gets two. Spinning DDT gets two and Rocky is all fired up. Vader has lost his mask. Rocky hits his top rope cross body finisher but Vader gets out before the count starts. A dropkick puts Vader on the floor but Mankind runs in and clocks Rocky with the Urn for the DQ.

Rating: B. Pretty solid power vs. speed match here and I really wanted to see the ending here. Vader was still valuable at this point as he hadn’t been made into a jobber to the stars yet. Rocky of course was on the rise but he didn’t have much to go on yet. That’s what veterans past their primes like Vader are good for too. This was very fun and I was having a great time with it.

Vader beats Rock up post match.

We get a clip from last week where Lawler issued an open challenge to ECW and they ran in. I’ve reviewed that show already and it was pretty dull if I remember. Dreamer beat up D-Von and there were a lot of weapons involved. Seeing stuff like weapons being blurred out is weird. Sandman drinking a beer is censored. That’s so bizarre to see on Raw. The ECW guys had to stop a fight between Lawler and Heyman.

Sultan vs. Flash Funk

Sultan is Rikishi. Jim Ross has joined us on commentary. Lawler calls in and yells at Vince for having ECW guys on Raw. Didn’t Jerry invite him? If the ECW guys show up next week, Lawler will finish the fight. After a break the match is joined in progress with Sultan running him over. Flash does his usual flying around the ring to get in some offense but Sultan hooks him in a sleeper. Heyman calls in to say Lawler is over the line. The challenge is accepted but it might not be next week. Standing rana sets up a top rope moonsault for two by Funk. Sultan counters a headscissors and the camel clutch ends this quick.

Rating: C-. This match was fine but it’s by far and away the weakest of the matches as far as star power goes. Good match here as Funk is always someone I love watching. Sultan was a dead end gimmick and more or less stopped meaning anything after Mania when Rocky beat him in the IC Title match.

We get a clip from October with Austin breaking a lot of stuff in the back. He yelled at a security guard and got thrown out by cops. We’re looking for him tonight.

Sid says he’s ready for Mankind.

We get a clip from Final Four where Bulldog and Owen had some issues.

Here’s Ahmed to answer the challenge from Farrooq for a street fight at Mania. The announcer speaks in German and then shifts to very accented English. Ahmed accepts and I have no idea what else he’s saying.

Video on the LOD who are still awesome at this point. On Shotgun Saturday Night (I really need to do more of that show) they said they’d be in Chicago for Wrestlemania.

WWF Title: Mankind vs. Sycho Sid

This should be….interesting. Mankind gives a quick prematch promo mostly in German. Sid pounds away on him while the music is still playing. Out to the floor and Mankind gets in a few shots before hitting the post by mistake. Back inside Sid hooks a chinlock and we hear that next week, Raw is War. That would be the official new name of the show. Sid grabs a Fujiwara Armbar of all things.

Austin pops up on the split screen and rants about how he’s the #1 talent in wrestling today but he was sitting next to the bathroom on the plane and had a stale sandwich in a brown paper bag. That’s not what made him sick though: it was Bret whining all over the place. More from him later. Mankind hooks onto Sid with what looks like a face grab or something. An elbow on the apron gets two.

Mankind pounds away while Sid is on the apron on the outside. Sid comes back and pounds away. Why this guy is world champion is beyond me but he would lose it soon. He and Taker will be teaming up next week says Vince. A running boot in the corner misses for Sid and we take a break. Back with Sid pounding on him and Mankind is knocked to the floor. They slug it out on the outside with Sid grabbing him by the throat and throwing him into the post.

A belly to back on the floor takes Mankind down again but he gets a Stunner on the top rope to break up the momentum. Back inside and a top rope legdrop gets two on sid Mankind takes over again via a chinlock and there’s the Claw. It only gets two and Sid stands up which breaks away the leverage. Double Arm DDT gets two. Off to a sleeper for awhile until Sid rams Mankind into the buckle to escape. Bearer tries to interfere but it results in Mankind taking the chokeslam for two. The powerbomb keeps the title on Sid.

Rating: C-. Sid was just awful at this point and Mankind just wasn’t good enough to get something good out of him. He tried as hard as he could but the clashes of styles and the sheer force of suck from Sid really brought this down. When your offense consists of punch, kick, forearm, chokeslam and powerbomb, there isn’t much that can be done.

Austin is back for the more of his interview and we get a clip where Austin tried to keep Bret from winning the title at Final Four. Bret won the title but Sid won it the next night thanks to a chair shot from Austin. Austin goes on a rant about how Shawn was sick and had a knee injury and got a video about them.

Austin was sick and had a bad knee and went 25 minutes but that’s never talked about. He should be champion and knows enough to beat Bret into submission. Austin isn’t worried about Shamrock because no one can make him quit. He says Vince treats him like a dog so why shouldn’t he be bitter? AWESOME promo with Austin being full of fire in his eyes.

European Title: Owen Hart vs. British Bulldog

They’re tag champions but have been having a lot of problems lately. This is the finals of a tournament with the first title going to the winner. They go to the corner to start with no one having an advantage. They exchange wristlock counters and it’s Davey with some very early control. He counters a monkey flip with a cartwheel and both guys nip up to a standoff.

They shake hands and things reset. Owen grabs the wrist and climbs the ropes but gets caught in a powerbomb. Davey catapults him to the floor and invites him back in. Rollup gets two for Owen but an armdrag puts him on the mat where Davey takes over with a headlock again. Owen tries the same wristlock counter as before but Davey drops him right on his back and arm to counter.

We take a break and come back with Davey working on the arm some more. Davey’s old crucifix gets two. Delayed vertical is countered into an enziguri attempt which Davey ducks. There’s a surfboard but Owen grabs the referee to escape. Bulldog speeds things up but Owen avoids him to toss him out to the floor. Davey is holding his knee but gets back in pretty easily.

Back in Owen tries a leapfrog but injures his own knee. He’s channeling his inner Bret though and is goldbricking so he can get the advantage. Now they’re ticked off and the Sharpshooter is broken up. Things speed up and Owen kicks his head off for no cover. Owen drops a leg for two and hooks a chinlock as they get a breath. Davey is knocked to the floor and a sunset flip back in gets two.

We take a second break and come back with Davey ramming elbows into Owen’s ribs but a belly to belly suplex stops him cold. Off to a camel clutch but Davey stands up and hits an electric chair to break the hold. Owen tries a Flair cover with his feet on the ropes for two. Middle rope elbow gets the same. This is already very good and is getting great. Up to the corner and Davey falls onto him to counter a superplex for two.

Davey comes back with clotheslines and the fans are getting into it. Suplex puts Owen down for two. Smith gorilla presses him but crotches him on the top. The Canadian grabs a German on the Englishman for two. Davey loads up the powerslam but Owen grabs the ropes to escape. There’s the enziguri and Davey is down. He hooks the Sharpshooter but Bulldog makes the rope. Owen loads up a tombstone but Davey reverses into the Powerslam for two. The victory roll that Owen beat Bret with at Mania X is countered into a rollup of Davey’s own for the pin.

Rating: A+. Just a total classic here as they countered each other perfectly the entire time and we got a great false finish with Owen kicking out of the powerslam. Do you ever remember that happening? This is easily one of the best matches you’ll ever see, especially on free TV. Great stuff and probably their second best matches ever each.

They shake hands post match.

Overall Rating: A. The WWF was FEELING IT at this point but they were in so deep against WCW and the NWO that no one really noticed it until the end of the year. You had guys like Austin that were hungry for anything they could get and Bret being all ticked off. The main event would set up a rematch in a few weeks which Bret would interrupt to start the Hart Foundation, leading to the vastly underrated Border War of 1997. Excellent show and well worth checking out.

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Best Of The WWF Volume 3 – Finally, It’s Over

Best of the WWF Volume 3
Host: Vince McMahons
Commentators: Jesse Ventura, Gorilla Monsoon, Gene Okerlund

This it the final volume in this series and I couldn’t be happier. This is from 1985 and also has some TNT skits in it which are usually pretty funny. We’re in 1985 here and at least one of the matches I’ve done before. I just want to get this done already so I’ll stop talking now. Let’s get to it.

For the last time in this series, that Coliseum Video intro rocks.

Vince is very clearly reading off a teleprompter. He runs down the whole card and we’re finally ready go to.

Jimmy Snuka vs. Roddy Piper

This is a strap match and you win by pin/submission. This gives us the ultra rare yet awesome Jesse Ventura solo commentary. From what I can find this is in St. Louis. Snuka hits him in the leg to start as they jockey for position with the strap. Piper scratches the eyes and comes at him with the strap to the throat. Snuka comes back and whips at Piper who tries to run.

Snuka chokes away at him which is kind of a heelish move. Then again Snuka used to be a heel so it works fine. Piper comes back and whips Jimmy but tries a headbutt. DOES NO ONE LEARN THEIR STEREOTYPES ANYMORE??? He rams Snuka’s head into the buckle and even Jesse is saying that was stupid. Back in and Piper overreacts to getting punched but he’s hilarious at it. In something you’ll hardly ever see again, Piper gets caught in a top rope cross body for the perfectly clean pin.

Rating: C+. This was an incredibly entertaining feud and while short, this was definitely a fun match. They did their usual over the top stuff and we got a bunch of fun things out of it. I think this was a dark match at a Superstars taping so it’s not like it was a featured match or anything.

Piper goes crazy post match and destroys Snuka with the strap post match.

Bob Orton vs. Ricky Steamboat

This looks like Toronto. Steamboat goes after the bad arm which is a very slow healing injury. Orton tries to kip up but can’t quite escape the arm hold. Steamboat slams him and we’re right back to the arm. Orton comes back with a beal and flying headscissors but misses a charge which sends him to the floor. Out there he throws a drink in Steamboat’s face but that’s not a DQ.

Orton takes over and hooks a cravate. Off to a chinlock which is quickly broken but Steamboat can’t slam him. Orton hooks the chinlock on again and rubs the cast in his face. I love little things like that. Steamboat comes back with chops and heads to the top. The top rope cross body only gets two, probably putting Orton in a very elite club.

Steamboat gets thrown to the apron but he skins the cat and comes back with a shot to send Orton to the floor. He was always great at that bump. The Cowboy tries to suplex Ricky to the floor but Steamboat counters. They speed it up again and Ricky misses a splash. Orton loads up the cast and comes off the top with a shot to the head and that draws the DQ.

Rating: B. Two guys that are absolutely great getting a good deal of time in front of a hot crowd. What are you expecting but a solid match? Orton was great as a guy that could be thrown in there and be asked to give you a solid match. He’s kind of the Kofi of his day but as a mat guy instead of a high flier. You never get a bad match out of him and he’s always entertaining. Very fun match.

Orton goes after him post match but Steamboat runs him off.

British Bulldogs vs. Johnny Rodz/Rene Goulet

The Bulldogs are new now so this is your basic squash/extended match that should be a squash. This is in MSG and Vince takes forever to intro the match. The old guys are clearly in over their heads here but Goulet gets in some token offense and brings in Rodz. The Bulldogs are like boys please and hit a pair of missile dropkicks and Dynamite nips up to snap suplex Rodz.

The heels take over with Dynamite getting beaten down. Rodz is very boring looking but he trained about half of ECW so take that for what it’s worth. Davey comes in with the delayed vertical and we need to get to the interesting part in a hurry. Everything breaks down and Davey throws Goulet in a fireman’s carry. Dynamite hops from the top rope, jumps onto Goulet’s back and hits the Swan Dive for the pin.

Rating: C+. Totally awesome stuff here for the Bulldogs as this is probably close to their debut. To give you an idea of how awesome they looked here, the MSG crowd gave them a standing ovation after the match. Upon further review this was their debut, at least in MSG. Great debut match and it worked well.

British Bulldogs vs. Hart Foundation

That was their first match in MSG, and this is their second. Joined in progress with Dynamite and Bret getting us going. The Brits clean house until the power guys come in for a test of strength. Bret comes back in and the Harts take over with some nice double teaming stuff. Bret misses a charge and knees Anvil by mistake to bring in Dynamite.

House is cleaned and everything speeds up. There’s a falling headbutt to Bret as things finally get down to one on one. Missile dropkick puts Bret down and there’s the powerslam but Jim breaks up the cover. That allows Bret to take over and the Harts dominate. Dynamite hooks a sunset flip but the curfew comes on. That means it’s I think 10pm in New York and therefore the show has to end. Imagine that happening today.

Rating: C+. Good stuff here but there’s only so much they can do with so little time. These teams just couldn’t have a bad match in this time period if their lives depended on it. Dynamite was so great with his speed stuff and it’s easy to see how Benoit modeled himself after the Kid. Fun match, would have been great with a finish.

We go to a famous skit from Tuesday Night Titans. Albano is in an office and we’re going to see George Steele get shock therapy in an attempt to get him to speak. First up the doctor tries to hypnotize him. George talks about playing football in school when he was 13 and messing up his tongue. He didn’t talk in school or something and then he became a wrestler and was booed because he wrestled Bruno. The hypnosis ends and George goes off again.

Now let’s try electrical shock. Apparently this is going to make George smart and not crazy. The doctor is named Sigmund Ziff. Good to know. After some more hypnosis George has his hat put on. George gets some shock and manages to say “how now brown cow” in a British accent. Then he gets shocked again and he’s back to normal. Funny segment but it didn’t need to go 8 minutes.

US Express/George Steele vs. Adrian Adonis/Big John Studd/Bobby Heenan

This is from MSG and this show is a bit more famous because of the debut of Randy Savage on it. No one wants to start with the Animal. Barry and Adonis (not yet gay or in pink) start us off. Let the stalling begin! Before anything happens, Heenan is brought in so Windham tags Steele. Heenan DIVES to the floor to hide and it’s back to Adonis. Now it’s back to Windham before any contact has been made at all.

Off to Studd to meet Windham and Barry is knocked down pretty easily. It isn’t often that Barry has to speed things up but he does it here as he doesn’t have another option. He keeps going for the slam which doesn’t work at all. A cross body gets two. Clipped to Heenan being brought in and Barry beats him down like a world champion beating on a manager.

Everything breaks down and Steele rams all three heels into the posts. Rotundo comes in and Heenan’s mouth is bleeding. Mike takes Studd down and works on the arm. Clipped to Adonis beating on Rotundo. Gorilla gives us some analysis of what we’re seeing and the fans chant USA. Windham finally comes in as does Steele, wanting to get his hands on Bobby. There wasn’t a tag and everything breaks down. Steele goes outside and comes back with a chair which he hits the referee with for the DQ.

Rating: D. Pretty boring match here and I really don’t get the point of them giving us what appears to be a focus on Steele and then having him lose his match. Then again I think they did that more than once in this series so it must be a running theme. That doesn’t mean it makes sense but it’s what they’re doing I guess.

Here’s a video from Ivan Koloff vs. Bruno Sammartino in a cage.

David Sammartino vs. Brutus Beefcake

This is from Wrestlemania I so I’ll just copy and paste here. The version on the tape is clipped (thank goodness) but this is the full PPV version. We get a quick promo from the Sammartinos where Bruno tells Beefcake’s manager Johnny V to stay out of it. V says he’s not worried about Bruno. Now we go on to what was little more than a reason to have the managers brawl at ringside, we have David Sammartino against Brutus Beefcake.

David is accompanied by his father and Johnny Valiant for Beefcake. Big stall to start which is filled in by Gorilla talking about how great the crowd is, and for the time it really was. Finally we get going and Jesse cracks me up by saying that a loss for either man here could set their careers back 2 years.

That’s nothing but priceless. Anyway, we have a nice little wrestling sequence to start with Beefcake stalling again after sliding to the floor. We’re almost 5 minutes in and nothing at all of interest has happened yet. They’re trying to do a technical match and it’s just failure. I’m quite bored as I watch this match and it’s not getting any better.

I feel like I’m watching a house show match, but not the good kind. I feel like I’m watching a house show match that makes jobbers look good. Even the commentators sound bored here, yet for some reason the crowd is into this. FINALLY we get the managers involved and it’s a huge brawl for the double DQ.

Rating: D-. I was so bored I almost fell asleep. Absolutely nothing at all of note and it was just done to get Bruno on the show. David had a lot to live up to and for the most part he never came close which is the case for the vast majority of the kids of major stars. If nothing else look at David Flair. This was a very bad match though as Beefcake was the top guy in the ring which sums up things rather well.

Bruno Sammartino/David Sammartino vs. Johnny V/Brutus Beefcake

Pretty obvious reasoning behind this one. David is just so horrible compared to his father that having them tag was probably not a great idea. Arnold Skaaland is with the family here. Bruno vs. Johnny starts us off and Bruno throws him out easily. Brutus comes in and is tossed as well. Since this is MSG, Bruno can get a big pop by doing anything beyond breathing. Back in and Bruno does as much as he did before to keep Johnny in trouble.

Off to David who just is not that good. He works an armbar and slams Johnny a few times before Brutus comes in. Bruno comes back in to hook on the armbar and then tags out so David can do the exact same thing. The heels get in a tiny bit of offense before Bruno comes back in. This is so boring other than when Bruno is in there. David comes in again and gets hammered on for awhile. Valentine misses a charge but manages to avoid contact with the buckle. Not that it matters as David rolls him up for the pin anyway.

Rating: D. Bruno, I love you man but your kid sucks in the ring. I mean he’s just BAD. This whole thing was to have David be put over and Bruno was trying his best to try to give him a rub but at the end of the day, David just didn’t have any talent whatsoever. He’s just bad and thankfully he wasn’t around that long at all.

Here’s a clip from King Kong Bundy on Tuesday Night Titans where he tries on wigs. Well he does look like an egg without them. This goes on for awhile.

King Kong Bundy vs. Tony Garea

Bundy shoves him around with ease as today this would be Brodus vs. Regal and would last a minute. Here in 1985 though, this lasts WAY too long. Garea works on the leg but gets caught by the power. Garea misses a dropkick and the Avalanche ends this. Somehow that took about 6 minutes.

Rating: D-. What in the world was the point of this? Either way at least this tape is almost over. Bundy was fine as a monster but he could only be interesting for so long. That would be about 2 months but he was good for something like this. Boring match here and I’d much rather watch Garea have a tag match.

Battle Royal

Masked Superstar, Moondog Rex, Samu, Mil Mascaras, David Schultz, Bob Boyer, Mr. Fuji, Ivan Putski, Big John Studd, Tony Atlas, Paul Orndorff, Rocky Johnson, Adrian Adonis, Jimmy Snuka, Dick Murdoch, Hulk Hogan, Andre the Giant, Tiger Chung Lee

We’re in Missouri here and actually this is the battle royal that Hogan was talking about on a show I reviewed a few weeks ago. Cool stuff. Anyway the winner gets thirty grand and Schultz is gone almost immediately. Hogan has been world champion about two weeks here. Studd keeps going to the apron but not out. Hogan throws out a few people. I don’t know if he’s even acknowledged as champion yet.

EVERYONE goes after Andre and Boyer gets trampled in it. They have to carry him out which can’t be good for your health. Studd is on the floor but not eliminated. Adonis hammers on Hogan so he Hulks Up and punches him to the floor in an elimination. I have no idea who is left. Putski beats on Atlas and Masked Superstar is out as is Orndorff. Orndorff pulls Johnson to the floor through the ropes and posts him.

Rocky is busted open and Studd is finally back in. Johnson collapses and Samu dives out by mistake. And never mind as Johnson and Murdoch go out seconds later. Mascaras and someone go out. Hogan and Andre go at it. Studd throws out Putski, then Andre while he’s at the ropes. Hogan goes out as well and Studd wins it.

Rating: D-. Really boring match here but Hogan vs. Andre is always worth seeing. It’s pretty cool to see them do that this early but other than that, there’s nothing going on here at all. This was a different era though and you can really see that. Boring match and a bad way to end the series.

Hogan demands Studd get back in so Hogan and Andre both beat him up.

Overall Rating: D. It has two good matches and then about an hour and fifteen minutes of drek. This was a dark era for the company as they had no one ready to fight Hogan yet other than Piper and that had already been done. Nothing to see here other than stuff from guys that were naturally great talents. Why is that not a surprise? And with that, we’re done with the Best of the WWF, which is a bad name for the series as it’s a lie.

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Monday Night Raw – July 9, 2001 – The Alliance Is Formed/My Favorite Raw Ever

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 9, 2001
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

We’re in WCW territory tonight and this is one of my all time favorite Raws, if not my favorite ever period. We’ll get to why later, but I remember watching this and absolutely losing it, which doesn’t happen often. Anyway, this absolutely has to be better than last week’s show. Also tonight, we get our first taste of an official WCW vs. WWF match. Let’s get to it.

We open with a rematch from Smackdown where they actually did ANOTHER WCW Title match with Booker facing Page. Angle came in again but Booker escaped the Angle Slam and beat Angle down. Taker and Page fought to the back and about 6 guys beat Taker down. Shane called them off, so Page beat up Shane and Booker.

Tonight it’s Taker vs. Storm/Awesome. That would be changed.

Shane McMahon vs. Diamond Dallas Page

This is a street fight. And never mind because Undertaker comes out instead of Page. Taker says tonight Page is his. Shane is ok with this so here’s Page.

Undertaker vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Page starts fast and pounds Taker in the corner but Taker counters that easily and beats on Page. Here come the chokeslam but Shane turns on Taker (was he with him in the first place?) and saves DDP. This was like a minute long.

Taker fights on the kendo stick shots and fires away on Shane in the corner. Page saves Shane with a chair and Taker is double teamed. Sara comes in with a kendo stick and gets in some shots on Shane but walks into a Diamond Cutter to kill her dead. She gets taken out on a stretcher. What does it say when Sara is better at taking a Diamond Cutter than Kane does?

DDP steals Taker’s motorcycle and Shane gives him the night off.

Taker promises Sara he’ll get Page.

Tag Titles: APA vs. Dudley Boys

Apparently Spike is going to be out for awhile with a broken leg. The APA clears the ring to start and we get down to Bubba vs. Farrooq. Off to Bradshaw as the Dudleys take over. The reverse 3D gets two. D-Von pounds on him and it’s off to Bubba. He goes to the corner for the ten punches but gets powerbombed out and both guys are down. Off to Farrooq and D-Von with Simmons getting a spinebuster for two. 3D doesn’t work but What’s Up does to Farrooq. Bubba goes for a table but Spike comes out, hits Bubba with the crutch and throws him in where Bradshaw’s Clothesline gives the APA their third tag title.

Rating: D+. Pretty boring match but I guess the idea here is that if the APA is leading the WWF’s army so give them something to make them seem important. That’s not a terrible idea actually and it’s better than another boring Hardys vs. Dudleys feud for the 7000th time. Not a terrible match and it did its job I guess.

Off to Austin and Vince with Austin repeating everything Vince says. Even the audience is laughing now which is a good thing. Angle comes in wearing a cowboy hat that Austin gave him on Thursday. Angle has presets for everyone except Debra of course. They’re big boxes but they have small sheriff badges in them. Angle’s is a lot bigger and golden to match his medal. Austin goes on a huge rant, quoting The Treasure of Sierra Madre to a nice pop. He calls Kurt a jackass and says that the hat was a joke. Austin tells Kurt to go beat up Booker T for the WCW Title.

Kane is just getting here.

Intercontinental Title: Rhyno vs. Albert

Slugout to start (I’m as shocked as you are) with Rhyno stomping the champ down into the corner. Pac runs in while Albert has the referee and superkicks Rhyno for two. Rhyno manages to get in a shot to buy himself some time and they slug it out for a bit. Belly to back suplex and a top rope splash combine for two. The Gore misses though and the Baldo Bomb is countered. Pac comes in and gets Gored. The distraction lets a bicycle kick keep the title on Albert.

Rating: D+. Back to back power matches probably isn’t a good idea but it wasn’t all that bad. Albert is a guy that was on the roll of his life at this point but soon enough he’d be just another guy in the Alliance war. Not much to see here but they were at least trying to make a new star with him as he beat up various power guys.

Angle goes to talk to Booker. He yells at Book and Mr. T. doesn’t seem that interested or upset by it. Angle challenges him and Booker agrees. Kurt says yippee kay yay Mother Hubbard. Good stuff and I had to listen twice.

Kane goes into Regal’s office so Tajiri hides behind the suit of armor. Regal says that Sara is ok but is being held for observations. Kane says he’ll take Taker’s place in the handicap match against Awesome and Storm.

Jeff Hardy vs. Big Show

Boy this would be a different match today. Show runs him over and we go outside. Here comes Trish and Show accidentally runs into the post. Jeff runs the rail to get in a shot and a missile dropkick puts Show down. Trish is cheering for Jeff. Jeff goes up again but jumps into a powerbomb position. Instead Show drops him back so he lands face first on the mat which is good for the pin. This was nothing again.

Trish kisses Jeff post match.

Kurt is getting ready for Booker and is bent over in front of Austin’s face which is kind of funny. Austin volunteers to be the leader of Team WWF at Invasion. Angle says if he wins the WCW Title, he should be leader. This turns into a discussion of Gilligan’s Island and who gets to be Skipper. Austin goes Bugs Bunny on him to get Angle to say that he (Angle) is Gilligan and Austin is Skipper.

Vince finally asks the question we’re all thinking: what does this have to do with the WCW Title or the Inaugural Brawl??? Speaking of which, Austin and Angle are both in it and Undertaker probably will be also. Jericho comes in to a big pop and says he’s WWF for live. He wants to be on Team WWF. Vince seems intrigued but Austin laughs him off.

Some Atlanta Falcons are here.

At Invasion, it’s Trish/Lita vs. Stacy/Torrie in a tag team bra and panties match.

Matt and Lita are at WWF New York. They don’t know if they can trust Trish but this is for the WWF and she can follow the Lita. Oh geez. They kiss to end this.

Shane fires Booker up.

Vince and Austin fire Kurt up. Austin repeats everything Vince says again. Angle says this is Atlanta and he won with no one in his corner in 1996 so he’ll go alone tonight.

WCW World Title: Booker T vs. Kurt Angle

Booker hammers him into the corner to start and hits a side kick. Kurt knocks him to the floor with a clothesline and Booker goes into the table. Booker sends him into the post and a missile dropkick gets two back in the ring. Back to the floor and Booker keeps control. Angle reverses an Irish whip back inside and a belly to back suplex slows Booker down but he comes back with a spinning kick for two.

Angle starts snapping off suplexes and a belly to belly looks to set up the Slam. Booker rolls out though and hits the scissors kick. The fans are against Booker now which is a good thing. Kurt charges and they ram heads. Booker gets the advantage and hits a spinebuster for two. Kurt grabs the ankle and there’s the ankle lock. Shane gets the referee so Booker’s tap doesn’t mean anything. Now the Slam hits and Earl Hebner runs in to count two. Now the referees fight and the distraction lets Booker get a belt shot. A seconds WCW referee runs in and Booker retains.

Rating: B-. This is the best match on Raw in weeks and it’s only just above average. Booker and Angle could do some good stuff together with some more time. Amazing what happens when you give two talented guys time and a face and heel combination to work with isn’t it? Good stuff and the referee fight was kind of funny.

Angle rants to Austin and Vince which makes Austin say he’s the leader at Invasion.

Torrie and Stacy say they’ll win at the PPV. Torrie bashes Vince and calls him a dirty old man.

The APA says they don’t want the titles like that and tell the Dudleys they can have another shot as soon as Smackdown. Right now though, cold beers on the APA. The Dudleys say not right now but ask them at the end of the night.

Kane vs. Lance Storm/Mike Awesome

I thought this match was earlier in the show. I guess not as we’re into the second hour. Before we get started though, here’s Jericho. He doesn’t say anything but comes in and we have a tag match.

Kane/Chris Jericho vs. Lance Storm/Mike Awesome

The 24/7 Rule has been waived until after Invasion. Why? Kane vs. Awesome starts us off with the bigger man taking over. Jericho comes in and chops away but gets caught by the power of Awesome (how was that never a t-shirt?). Off to Storm and the Thrillseekers get a nice reunion. Awesome hits a knee to the back and Storm clotheslines Jericho down to take over.

Storm comes in and misses a dropkick but he gets the knees up for the Lionsault. Awesome comes in and hooks a chinlock. Jericho fights back but jumps into a belly to belly for two. Back to Storm who stomps away. Was there a reason for him to stomp like that? He always had that little hop to it. Jericho gets an enziguri which is good for the hot tag.

Everything breaks down and Storm is sent to the floor. A powerslam puts Awesome down and there’s the top rope clothesline for two. A missile dropkick takes Storm down but Chris can’t get the Walls on Awesome. He does get them on Storm though, and I’m going to stop the match review there. Storm didn’t tap and the match is still going on, but the next part needs its own attention.

Rating: C+. This was a pretty decent formula tag match between Team Canada and Team Name That Has To Do With Kane And Jericho. Jericho and Storm always have great chemistry together and this was a fine example of it. Also, how in the world did both companies manage to screw up Mike Awesome? Let him be a mulletted killing machine. Why is that so hard?

Kane sets to chokeslam Awesome but Tommy Dreamer and Rob Van Dam jump the railing and it’s a 4-2 beatdown. Here come the Dudleys, Taz, Raven, Justin Credible and Rhyno. It’s a showdown but the six WWF guys that ran in all turn around and destroy Jericho and Kane. Jericho takes a Death Valley Driver and Kane gets a Van Daminator. The fans are loving this. JR asks Heyman what’s going on so Heyman says listen up.

Heyman gets into the ring with the Dudleys holding the ropes open for him. All of the guys celebrate and Heyman says here’s the truth. He’s been sitting there like a sellout for months and talking about WWF vs. WCW. It seems to him like these men were too extreme for WWF vs. WCW so it seems like Storm and Awesome have left WCW. The other six have left WWF and they all have joined ECW. Heyman says either Vince or Shane can come get some at any time. This Invasion has been taken to the EXTREME. When I saw this, my jaw dropped.

After a break, JR turns into Eric Bischoff and wonders how long he’s had this planned.

Shane and Vince bump into each other and Shane is kind of panicking, saying that their guys should team up for tonight only to crush ECW before it spreads. A twenty man tag is set for later.

Light Heavyweight Title: Scotty 2 Hotty vs. X-Pac

This is what we call a filler. Pac is defending and they speed things up to start. Scotty dances around a lot and works on the arm. They go to the floor and Scotty misses a dive. Pac stays on offense for about twenty seconds and Scotty comes back and hits a superkick for two. X-Factor is countered but Pac avoids the Worm. Scotty tries a sunset flip but Pac grabs the rope for the pin.

Rating: D+. Scotty was actually pretty entertaining around this time when he dropped the whole dancing and Cool aspect of his personality. X-Pac on the other hand was just kind of there and doing his own thing which no one really wanted to see. Nothing to see here and all they were doing was filling time.

Vince and Shane try to fire up their boys but can’t get along. Shane is officially put in charge and the agreement is that once ECW is gone, all bets are off. WCW leaves and Vince says ignore Shane and just do it.

Team WWF/WCW vs. Team ECW

It’s the 10 ECW guys listed earlier for their side. WWF is Big Show/Billy Gunn/Hardcore Holly/APA and WCW is Jindrak/Stasiak/O’Haire/Palumbo/Kanyon. WWF and WCW get in a fight before the ECW guys even get here. WCW is sent to the floor and here comes ECW. The ECW guys fight the WWF team and WCW stays on the floor. ECW clears the ring and calls out the WCW guys. And they all hug, officially forming the Alliance. No match obviously.

Vince comes out and wants to know what’s going on. Shane says watch the WWF guys get destroyed. Each one is thrown in and takes various finishing moves (including an F5 to Bradshaw from O’Haire). Shane says he can’t outspend Vince but he can outsmart him. Vince told Shane he was personally responsible for what happens out here and that’s true.

He’s responsible for ECW being here tonight and for the merger of WCW and ECW. Vince’s jaw is further into the Earth’s crust with every word. At Invasion, it’s the two companies against WWF. Oh, and here’s the new owner of ECW: Daddy’s Little Girl, Stephanie McMahon. The place ERUPTS at that. Vince’s eyes roll back in his head and here’s Stephanie, looking drop dead gorgeous in a pink dress. I think that’s why I loved this show when I was 13. Shane and Stephanie pose to end the show. Now THAT is how you end a TV show.

Overall Rating: B. This show depends on what you’re looking for. If it’s wrestling, you’ll probably be a bit disappointed. If you’re in it for drama and something that makes you want to watch next week, this is the show for you! When I was a kid this was an awesome moment and I loved it, but unfortunately it didn’t quite live up to the hype. Still though, I was glued to the screen on Thursday and Monday for awhile, which is the idea. Good stuff here.

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Monday Night Raw – July 2, 2001 – Why The Invasion Died

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 2, 2001
Location: Tacoma Dome, Tacoma, Washington
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

Back to 2001 and we’re on the road to Fully Loaded, but that name isn’t going to stick. This show is famous for one reason: it’s the show where there’s a WCW segment, in that Booker T defends the WCW Championship against Buff Bagwell. It’s also known as the segment that basically killed the original Invasion plans. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Invasion. On Smackdown, the whole Fully Loaded PPV has been changed to Invasion and will be WCW vs. WWF. This is set to Rey Mysterio’s WCW music.

Theme song.

Vince talks about how everything here is leading up to July 22. WCW is going to die at the Invasion. How can you compare the two companies? It’s like comparing Washington state to Washington DC. The nation’s decisions are made in DC and here, all you have are apples. But if you insist, let’s compare Booker T to Austin. Booker is a sneak, Austin is a man among men.

Cue….Angle? Kurt says he had to come out here because Vince’s words inspired him. Not only does Booker lack integrity, he also lacks intelligence and intensity. Kurt shows clips of Booker outsmarting Austin and beating him up. Booker did it on Smackdown also, which Kurt says made Austin look like a jackass. Here’s Austin with a rebuttal. Angle promises that he’ll protect Austin from Booker. Austin says that’ll be hard with Austin’s boot in him.

Austin thinks the problem is Kurt Angle. He and Vince don’t need him and Angle is getting in between their partnership. Austin calls Angle a jackass. “No I’m a hero!” “Jackass.” “Hero!” This goes on for a few moments until Vince tells them to just fight. Angle is ready to go and then Austin hugs Vince. Austin and Angle shove each other and here’s Shane. “So let me get this straight. We have the WWF Champion and an Olympic gold medalist competing for hugs?”

Shane says tonight it’s about the Invasion and about Invasion, how about an Inaugural Brawl, as in a massive tag match. Shane somehow has the power to make the main event on the show tonight, so he makes Booker vs. Buff.

The APA are watching a clip of Shane running away last week. They want to know who let them in and who Shane was talking to on the phone. They think there’s a mole in the yard.

Intercontinental Title: Albert vs. Undertaker

Uh….sure. I mean the match makes sense, but Undertaker challenging for the IC Title? Page cost Kane the title on Smackdown with the worst Diamond Cutter I can ever remember. I watched the clip and though it was Austin stunning him. They slug it out to start (shocking) but a charging Taker is caught in the corner for a bearhug. A bicycle kick puts Taker down but he comes back with the clothesline and chokeslam but Page runs in with a chair shot to draw the DQ.

Rating: D. This was nothing and very boring while it lasted. Page running in might as well have been on a big sign because it was very clear that was the ending after they showed the clip from Smackdown. Taker was really getting bad at this point and would get even worse for the next year or so.

Page Diamond Cuts him post match and leaves, but Sara goes after him. Kane sneaks up on DDP and the beating begins. He throws Page in to Taker but Albert saves. Page runs and Kane knocks Albert to the floor.

Torrie Wilson debuts on Raw. She was on Smackdown so this isn’t her full on debut. She’s looking for Vince, which probably explains why she debuted in a bra.

Crash vs. Molly Holly

Jackie is with crash to annoy me. Molly starts with ranas and a victory roll for two. Jackie tries her up because she has to annoy people every now and then. Crash suplexes Molly when Spike gets up for a distraction. Jackie puts Molly on the top but Molly hits a quick Molly Go Round for the pin. Too short to rate but all things considered it wasn’t bad.

Jackie beats up Crash for no apparent reason.

Vince, Austin, Angle and Debra are in the back. Angle and Austin almost get into it again when Torrie comes in. Kurt tries to hit on her but Vince is like down boy. She wants to talk to Vince in private. Austin needs a hug before Vince leaves. This is hilarious. Austin and Angle get in an argument over why Vince left. They determine it was Debra’s fault and Austin agrees.

We get a video from Smackdown where O’Haire and Palumbo interfered and were destroyed as a punishment.

Christian is looking at the KOTR trophy and talks about how he could have won if the brackets had switched. Edge is still uncomfortable but Christian has a Light Heavyweight Title match so he has to go get ready.

Regal advises Tajiri on how to watch out for the Worm, complete with a brief demonstration. The Dudleys come in and want to know why they’re facing Jericho. This somehow goes into a big rant about Winston Churchill. When the Dudleys have no idea what he’s going on about, he says just put Jericho through a table. They leave and Tajiri is still trying to get the Worm down. The wrestling and stories may have been hit or miss, but the comedy at this time was great.

Hardcore Holly says he isn’t the mole. Holly suggests to figure out who wasn’t there when they beat up Palumbo and O’Haire.

Vince and Torrie are in the shower (clothed) and are having a business meeting. She offers to do anything to get to the top of the WWF. Sex is implied. Austin comes in and demands an explanation for why they’re in the shower. “Uh…..sometimes there’s no other place to do business besides the shower.” Austin is totally cool with this and wants to talk about Invasion, but he’ll go get coffee first. This is comedy that I can’t do justice.

Tajiri vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

Scotty takes him down almost immediately and they go to the apron where Tajiri kicks him upside the head. There’s the Tarantula and the fans are way into this. A rana is countered into a sitout powerbomb by Scotty. Here comes the Worm, but Tajiri mists him and the Buzzsaw Kick ends it. Tajiri was awesome but he needed his music to really hit his stride.

Vince and Torrie go to a mop closet. HE’S A MULTIMILLIONAIRE!!! GET A FREAKING HOTEL ROOM!!! Angle comes in and points out that they’re in a mop closet. Vince looks like he wants to kill him. “Hey Torrie, have you seen my gold medals?”

Booker T and Test meet and Booker asks if Test might join WCW. Test implies he could and might take the title. It’s about the money though.

Dudley Boys vs. Chris Jericho

The Dudleys pound him down in the corner so Jericho has to use speed to have a chance. They finally get down to one Dudley in the ring at a time. D-Von starts us off but Bubba comes in quickly. There’s a double flapjack to take Jericho down and set for a double superbomb off the middle rope but Jericho escapes and slams Bubba off the top. The Dudleys get back up and Bubba is knocked to the floor via the springboard dropkick. D-Von gets caught in the Walls but Bubba pulls the referee out. Bubba loads up a table but Spike runs in and Dudley Dogs him to give Jericho the opening for a Lionsault for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but did we really need Spike? Well to be fair they needed to make sure that the champions keep their credibility, but Spike still felt like overkill. It’s not a bad match and is a nice breath of air from the Vince is a horny old man thing going on tonight, but it just kind of came and went.

Torrie and Vince are in the bathroom now. Hey Vince: YOUR COMPANY IS BEING INVADED BY YOUR GREATEST RIVAL! Torrie doesn’t like Vince’s cologne and a flush is heard. It’s Saturn. This is so stupid.

Benoit had neck surgery last week so here’s a video about it. He’ll be out about a year.

Light Heavyweight Title: Christian vs. X-Pac

Christian works on the arm and powerslams Pac down. Pac jumps back up and pounds him down. Off to a quick chinlock followed by a spinwheel kick for two. Bronco Buster is broken up by a spinwheel kick by Christian. Pac misses a kick as well and Christian hits a gutbuster. Edge and Justin both get up on the apron and after Edge knocks him down, he tries to throw in the title. Edge intercepts it and knocks Justin down but Pac gets it and a shot with it ends Christian.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here at all. The Light Heavyweight Title never really did anything for me and that’s mainly because there wasn’t much to it. It was more about matches between guys that were light heavyweights instead of a match like you would see in WCW. That’s kind of a problem but smaller guys don’t draw right?

The APA think it was Test. They ask a referee where he is and are told he was last seen talking to Booker T.

Taz is at WWF New York and doesn’t want to talk. We get a clip from Thursday where Tazz demanded an apology from Austin about Austin beating up Austin so Austin was mauled.

Rhyno vs. Test

Gee, I wonder what’s going to happen here. Rhyno pounds Test into the corner very quickly because he’s mad about the Hardcore Title being lost. The APA brings out the group that beat up O’Haire and Palumbo on Thursday. A big boot gets two for Test. Pumphandle slam is countered and another big boot breaks up a Gore attempt. The guys on the floor distract the referee so Bradshaw clotheslines Test and the Gore gets the pin. This was nothing.

Test gets a big beatdown post match. Bradshaw kills him with a powerbomb.

Big Show/Trish Stratus vs. Lita/Matt Hardy

The guys start and Show shoves him into the corner. Trish comes in to try to pick the bones but Matt is like blonde woman please and brings in Lita. Trish is really bad at this point so Lita runs her over. Lita goes up but Show pushes him out of the way. The rana attempt doesn’t go that well so Matt tries to make a save. Show clotheslines Matt outside and Jeff’s barricade run totally fails. Trish gets caught in the Tree of Woe so Lita and Matt hit a double DDT on Show. Twist and Litasault beat Trish.

Rating: D-. With girls like Trish and Lita out there you can’t call it a failure but was there ANY point to this? Again, THE COMPANY IS BEING INVADED BY THE GUYS THAT ALMOST PUT THEM OUT OF BUSINESS. Why in the world are guys like Matt and Jeff not calling out any two WCW guys while Big Show is leveling a small city?

Show yells at Trish so Jeff hits a missile dropkick to save him.

Vince and Torrie are in the hall and Vince FINALLY comes up with the idea of DOING IT LATER TONIGHT. Torrie suggests a location she thinks will work so let’s go there now.

Shane runs into Buff, who says he relies on skill rather than luck.

The APA celebrates getting rid of Test when Sgt. Slaughter comes in and says he’s here to help find the mole. He was with Test watching old tapes of the Alley Fight back in 81. Watch that match. Seriously, stop reading this and go watch that match. It’s way more entertaining.

We officially turn things over to WCW, as in their graphics, their ring skirts, their announces (Arn Anderson and Scott Hudson) and their ring announcer named Stacy Keibler. Here’s Shane before the match to introduce everyone I just said. You can literally see the fans walking out. This is where everything began falling apart. Regal comes out as this is already being booed out of the building. He and Tajiri are getting rid of Shane and he’s ok with that.

Hudson says Buff is challenging for the WWF Title after the break. I think you can see where this is going to go from here.

WCW World Title: Booker T vs. Buff Bagwell

Hudson screws up AGAIN, saying Booker is the current TV Champion rather than the US Champion along with world champion. You can actually see the people walking out. The fans IMMEDIATELY start changing BS and the upper level is blacked out so we can’t see them leaving. Buff takes over and does his strut as EVEN MORE people leave.

Buff hooks a chinlock and the remaining people boo. Now they chant THIS MATCH SUCKS. Buff starts glaring at the crowd, basically turning heel mid match. Booker comes back with a side kick and forearm that misses but gets two anyway. Axe kick, Spinarooni, Austin and Angle FINALLY come in for the DQ.

Rating: F. I’m going to go into a much longer explanation of why this was an abomination later, but for now we’ll go with this: if the company has to black out the upper deck because your match made that many fans leave, your match is a failure. Again, we’ll get back to this later.

Bagwell, Austin and Angle beat down Booker. They knock him up the aisle, but enough of this FIRST TIME EVER stuff for world titles and invasions. TO THE LAUNDRY ROOM!

Torrie and Vince are flirting and Vince takes his clothes off. Vince makes VERY disturbing noises and Torrie takes his pants off. He has his eyes clothes and turns around, presumably sans clothes, and it’s Linda waiting on him. CUE SITCOM MUSIC!!!

Oh and the WWF and WCW Champions are still brawling. Good thing we had enough time to get back to this. Austin and Angle throw him out the door and then throw Bagwell out also. Buff never had another match and I’ll explain why now.

Overall Rating: F-. This was one of the biggest disasters I’ve seen in a very long time. First and foremost as I’ve said, THE WCW IS INVADING. WHY ARE WE WASTING TIME WITH ALL THESE POINTLESS MATCHES??? I’ll give you an answer to that right now: why should the WWF care? See, there’s this misconception out there that thinks that the Invasion was about WCW vs. WWF in a battle for the ages for all supremacy. There’s one major problem with that: we’ve had that battle.

Think about it. WCW has already lost. They’re out of business. WCW got so horrible for the last few years that no one paying attention or with a brain would suggest that WCW was any real threat to the WWF. On top of that, this is the best WCW has got? They have their champion Booker T and then……who? The tag champions were destroyed so it’s not them. Mike Awesome I guess? As in That 70s Guy? WWF has Angle and Austin and Jericho and Undertaker and Kane and we’re worried about That 70s Guy? Oh and DDP, the guy that Taker destroys whenever they’re in the ring together. Yeah how about that guy.

WCW has been made to look awful and we’re what, a month into this? Also, who in the world am I supposed to cheer for? I don’t think even they know. Third, this show wasn’t about the Invasion. It was about Vince trying to get laid and not having the common sense to GO SOMEWHERE ELSE. Why in the world would I want to watch this? Where’s Flair or Goldberg or Sting or Steiner or ANYBODY OTHER THAN THESE CLOWNS?

On top of all that, think about the fans leaving tonight. Can you blame them? They didn’t buy a ticket to see Buff Bagwell (who was fired for how bad his match was) vs. Booker T. They bought a ticket to see Monday Night Raw, the flagship show of the biggest wrestling company in the world. How would you feel if you were at Raw and the main event was for the OVW Title? In essence that’s what this was: a match for a title that means absolutely nothing in the WWE.

Finally, the McMahons. The Invasion was about Vince vs. Shane (and Stephanie who we’ll get to next week). It was never about WWF vs. WCW. It was about Vince McMahon and the battles he had with his children and nothing else. Why would you want to see that for 5 months? In short, no one did because they wanted to see the big names of WCW against the big names of the WWF (which could have gone on for YEARS and drawn millions and millions and MILLIONS of dollars).

Instead, we would wind up with one or two big name WCW guys and the rest was about Vince, Shane and WWF guys. This isn’t an invasion. This is the other company saying LOOK WHAT WE DID to try to get attention. There’s one problem with that: there is no other company. There’s WWF and the WCW is out of business. Why should I buy them as a threat when they spent the last three years getting killed? No one did and the Invasion failed. It would get a charge up next week, but this version of it has completely failed.

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Superstars of Wrestling – January 8, 1988 – DiBiase’s Latest Purchase

Superstars of Wrestling
Date: January 8, 1988
Location: Sun Dome, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura, Bruno Sammartino

Now a lot of you may have read some of my Superstars reviews from a few years ago, but in case you haven’t, here’s the basic idea: this is the A show of WWF at the time. Everything happened here and it was all that mattered. I have almost every show from January 88 – June of 88 and I’ll probably get a lot more so we’ll go through the first Rumble (which meant nothing), me being born, Hogan losing the title, Wrestlemania IV, and that’s about it since there were no PPVs between Mania and the debut of a new show called Summerslam. Let’s get to it.

Vince brags about Tampa for some reason and we get the opening sequence.

We’re going to get clips from SNME where Andre interfered in Hogan vs. Bundy.

Islanders vs. Jerry Grey/Lanny Poffo

Heenan has a dog leash with him which has no dog on it, which is a jab at the British Bulldogs. Poffo reads a poem before the match. Tama and Poffo start. The Bulldogs say they still can’t find Matilda. All they care about is if she’s ok. They want Tunney to do something about her missing. We can’t see half of the ring due to the window they’re in. Tama is back in and working on Grey. He dropkicks Grey down and Haku kicks Grey’s head off for the pin. Total squash. Expect to hear that a lot in these reviews.

Tunney says he’s going to take action because no one knows where Matilda is. Heenan warns him to stay calm. Tunney says until we know where Matilda is, the Islanders are suspended.

Willington Wilkins vs. Jake Roberts

Jake should kill him for such a horrible name. Vince and Jesse talk about the Islanders as Jake mauls Willington. Short clothesline and DDT end this quickl.

Time for the house show ads. This is for the MSG Show on January 25. Hogan/Bigelow vs. Virgil/DiBiase is the main event. Duggan comes in and says that he’s ready for Harley Race and the 2×4 will be there with him.

Dino Bravo vs. Scott Casey

Bravo is very strong and that’s about it. He’s also Canadian. Frenchy Martin in an inset says he speaks a lot of languages. Bravo runs over Casey and clotheslines him down. Casey gets a few moves in but Bravo hits his side suplex. Instead of pinning him with that, a belly to back suplex ends it. That was odd.

There’s a Boston Garden show later tonight and the main event is Rude vs. Hogan. Rude doesn’t care about the fans and says it’s about fighting and he’ll beat Hogan up for the title. He’s going to do a striptease around Hulk’s body. Hey if that’s what you’re into man. That match is on one of Hulk’s DVDs and Best of the WWF Volume 20. One of the dates is wrong also because that show was on the 9th and this was labeled as the 8th. It might be a syndication thing though.

Sam Houston vs. Terry Gibbs

Houston is Jake Robert’s real life half brother and likes to dance. Headlock takes Gibbs down. Gibbs was supposed to be a big deal (ok that’s a stretch but a deal of some sort) but he was never anything more than a jobber. Danny Davis says he’s waiting on Sam Houston. This was probably the high point of Davis’ singles career. He had more luck as a tag team guy. Gibbs comes back with a neckbreaker and a hard whip into the corner. A HHH knee takes Sam down but Gibbs gets slammed off the top and the bulldog (Sam’s finisher) ends it. This was more competitive than most Superstars matches but still too short to grade.

We get clips from SNME where Andre came in after a Hogan title defense and choked Hogan down again.

DiBiase and Virgil are in the arena and Ted says this isn’t over yet. He wants the WWF Title and he gets what he wants. DiBiase brings out the man that is going to bring him the WWF Title: Andre the Giant. Heenan is with him and DiBiase buys Andre’s contract for what I believe would be later revealed for $1 million. Now the interesting thing is that later on, Heenan bought Andre back for $100,000. See why he’s called the Brain? Heenan avoids a few years of beatings from Hulk and scores a $900,000 profit.

Sivi Afi vs. Butch Reed

JIVE SOUL BRO BABY!!! The announcers talk about Muraco saving Billy Graham from Reed and the One Man Gang. Out to the floor and Afi goes into the railing. Reed goes up and kills him with the flying tackle for the pin.

Demolition vs. Jim Evans/Mike Richards

This is heel Demolition with Fuji in their corner. Richards gets destroyed to start as Jesse recommends that Evans run. They take turns ramming Richards’ head into boots. A quick neck crank sets up a double Stun Gun and the Decapitator ends this quick. More squashing.

DiBiase talks about Andre and how he’ll get the title soon. As for Jake Roberts tonight, he’s cunning like Ted but DiBiase isn’t worried about him.

Overall Rating: D+. With these shows, you can never really go based on the wrestling because nothing is competitive but that was just the way things were back then. This was fine for the most part and we got a huge moment with Andre and DiBiase hooking up. This was huge because DiBiase was really just a guy talking before this but now he had a guy that can beat Hogan. This was huge.

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Monday Night Raw – July 6, 1998 – DX Parodies The Nation

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 6, 1998
Location: Bryce Jordan Center, State College, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Another day another Raw. With three weeks to go before Fully Loaded we have more conspiracy stuff to get to. Austin won the title back last week so there’s also likely to be fallout from that. Also we’ll of course have more DX vs. the Nation stuff as that feud is going to take awhile to get through. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap video of last week’s events.

Here’s Undertaker to open the show. He says he wants a title shot and he wants it right now. We cut to the back where Cole is looking for Austin. JR says Austin is here somewhere. There he is and he doesn’t want to talk. Here’s Austin who gets in the ring. Taker gets ready but Vince cuts them off. He says that he picks the opponents and times when Austin defends the title. However since they both want it, he’ll make it happen, but at Fully Loaded. It won’t be a one on one match though. It’ll be them teaming up against Kane/Mankind. The #1 contender will be named tonight as well. Vince flips Austin off.

Brawl For All First Round: Brakkus vs. Savio Vega

Brakkus is a big German muscle man. Savio gets in some good shots in the first round but it’s tied up because of a takedown. Brakkus is totally gassed after round two. Savio wins via points or decision or however you win these things. Brakkus has a broken nose.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Ken Shamrock

Shamrock easily sends him to the floor to start. Jarrett comes back in with a top rope cross body but Shamrock rolls through it for two. Edge is in the crowd. Out to the floor and Jarrett throws him into the steps. Jeff takes over and hooks a sleeper. Belly to back breaks whatever momentum Shamrock was getting going. Shamrock starts his comeback and hits a powerslam. A belly to back suplex gets two when King Mabel of all people runs in and splashes Shamrock.

Rating: D. Boring match but it was only here for the ending. Mabel would be here for one night only and would face Shamrock later in the night, which is why things were so short. I don’t think anyone wanted to see Mabel and I don’t think most people remembered him, but either way it’s just one night and the King of the Ring angle was something for Shamrock to do for awhile.

Vader vs. Bradshaw

Outlaws vs. Kane/Mankind for the titles next week. What exactly are you expecting here? They’re big, they’re strong, they hit each other a lot. Vader fires off headbutts in the corner and goes up but jumps into a powerslam. And here are Kane and Mankind to beat them both up for the double DQ. The big guys leave the lesser big guys laying.

Disciples of Apocalypse vs. Headbangers

Please be a squash. The Headbangers pour hot candle wax on themselves on the way to the ring. Ellering is with the DOA here and sends them right after the Headbangers. Mosh vs. let’s say 8-Ball to start. Ellering says the wind was blowing towards the DOA so he went with them. The LOD took their talent and became prisoners of their own memories. Thrasher gets two on a cross body. Off to Skull and Mosh and the Headbangers do their…whatever that is that they do. Stage Dive is broken up and the DOA hits something like a spike belly to back suplex to pin Thrasher.

Rating: D. This was basically a squash but at least it wasn’t against the LOD. Those matches were simply awful so of course they would go on for months. Not much here and the Headbangers weren’t going to be anything pretty much ever again. Not horrible, but there’s only so much this could be.

D-Lo Brown vs. Terry Funk

Brown has the chest protector. Terry takes him to the mat easily but D-Lo gets him into the corner and splashes him with the chest protector. Terry tries to chop him but can’t due to the protector. Instead he punches Brown in the face and piledrives him. A Downward Spiral takes Brown down and they go to the floor. Terry tries an Asai Moonsault but partially hits the railing. Back in and Terry thinks enough to put Brown on his stomach for the moonsault so that it hurts. Brown goes to the apron and Godfather hits Funk with some jewelery. The Low Down ends it.

Rating: D+. I love Terry Funk more and more every time I see him. He does crazy stuff but he has some of the most entertaining matches on Raw every week. Good stuff here and the beginning of one of Brown’s long running gimmicks. That nagging injury angle could work today if someone would think to use it.

Undertaker comes out and chokeslams everyone, including Terry, basically becoming a tweener.

Here’s Vince to announce the #1 contender. We’ll get to the announcement in a bit but first let’s bring some people out. First up, Mankind. Now Kane. Finally it’s Undertaker. Vince talks about everyone and why they could be #1 contender. Mankind took a horrible beating at King of the Ring, Kane was a great champion but was also a very stupid person, and Taker Vince isn’t sure on.

Is it because he’s done evil things to the other candidates? Is it because he thinks he’s as good as Austin? Or is it something else? Either way, we’ll find out who the #1 contender is tonight in a triple threat match.

Brawl For All First Round: Hawk vs. Darren Drozdov

Hawk looks very stupid in wrestling gear and boxing gloves. They lumber around for the first round and this needs to end already. I mean the whole competition mind you. Hawk gets knocked backwards in the second. Nothing happens in the third round and it’s a draw. Droz would advance because Hawk was hurt.

Here are Mero and Jackie. The fans chant for Sable and Jackie says she’s here to talk. She blames herself for Mero losing the fight because she wore him out. Apparently Sable couldn’t satisfy him. Here’s Sable who says Marc couldn’t do anything. Sable implies Jackie is a rather loose woman, so Jackie wants a bikini contest. Ok then.

Val Venis vs. Dustin Runnels

Val’s pre match thing is about Joe Paterno. Dustin prays a bit. Val takes over quickly and hits a running knee in the corner. He goes up for punches but gyrates in Dustin’s face, resulting in an atomic drop. Val takes over again and hooks a full nelson with his legs on Dustin. Dustin comes back with a Russian legsweep but here’s Kai En Tai for the DQ.

Yamaguchi gets on the mike and threatens Val. His wife can’t stop looking at Venis.

And now for the famous part of the show: the DX parody of the Nation. We have HHH as the Crock, Road Dogg as B-Lo, X-Pac as Mizark, Billy as Godfather and a guy named Jason Sensation as Owen. Billy says random things and hands the mic to HHH. He has an eyebrow painted on his forehead and talks about what he was cooking in the bathroom. Roadie repeats everything and then shakes his head. Crock sets for a People’s Elbow on B-Lo but stops mid-leg turn to talk about how when he hits Rock Bottom with the ladies, he has to lay the Smackdown on himself.

B-Lo of course runs to the corner and shakes his head after repeating everything Crock said. Jason Sensation (in a PERFECT Owen voice) says that he looks like a road sign. He wanted to be tough, but he couldn’t grow his beard in. He’s a black Hart, a winner and a soul survivor WOO! And if anyone smells what the Rock is cooking, it’s him. Look how big his nose is. What is he, an aardvark. WOO!

Mizark wants to know what Rock is cooking, because hey hey hey, it smells like crap. B-Lo is finally told to shut up. Now shut your mouths and know your roles, because Nation, we got two words for you: WATCH THIS. This is still absolutely hilarious and had me cracking up. It’s on a WWE DVD somewhere I’m sure.

Mabel vs. Ken Shamrock

Mabel goes after the ribs and hits a backbreaker. Shamrock hammers on him but a corner splash misses. A middle rope elbow can’t drop the monster and neither can a leg lariat. World’s Strongest Slam puts Ken down but a middle rope clothesline misses and the ankle lock ends this quick. Not long enough to rate but this was no surprise at all.

Shamrock won’t let go of the hold and snaps again.

Here are Vince and Bearer to watch the triple threat. Austin joins them. It’s Austin and Vince on commentary.

Undertaker vs. Mankind vs. Kane

Winner is #1 contender. And there’s no Undertaker. The arena has Kane’s red lights in it. Vince gets off commentary and says it’s now one on one and no holds barred. We’ll throw in falls count anywhere in the building too. Mankind sits on the floor in front of the steps. He says he’s given enough and he’s not giving for Vince anymore. Mankind isn’t going to fight his friend Kane. Vince says ring the bell and we have like 2 minutes left. Kane stands in the ring as Vince yells to get going. Kane goes to the floor, cracks Mankind in the head with the chair and becomes #1 contender.

Kane rips off the mask to reveal the Undertaker, who is now #1 contender, end of show. This was done perfectly. Kane had been wearing the two sleeved outfit for a few weeks so it wasn’t out of the ordinary to see him in that. The red light keeps you from being able to see details of Taker, and therefore it probably fooled a lot of people. Very well done and I was shocked when I was ten.

Overall Rating: C. This show is very indicative of what the Attitude Era’s problem is: it doesn’t age well at all. The problem is that when you have a show that is totally built around drama and who knows what and who is really with who, it’s very entertaining to watch week to week. Watching it later, you realize that it’s not the best TV. The difference between this and Nitro is on Nitro, there was a ton of drama, but it resulted in stuff in the ring week to week. Now Raw did that too, but it resulted in great stuff in the ring on the PPVs, which means the TV can be kind of boring to sit through.

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Monday Night Raw – June 29, 1998 – Oh Cheese And Crackers The Brawl For All Is Here

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 29, 1998
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 16,505
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is pretty historic show in that we have a world title match as Kane defends against the man he beat last night, Steve Austin. Other than that, we also have the debut of one of the dumbest ideas in the history of the company: the Brawl For All. Other than that, we’ve got Shamrock as the new King of the Ring and we begin the road to Fully Loaded, which is in four weeks. Let’s get to it.

We open with a still package from the title match last night. Taker smacked Austin in the head with a chair and claimed that it was inadvertent. Either way, it cost Austin the title.

Here’s Vince and here’s all fired up. There’s a red carpet in the ring and the title is under glass. He spends a lot of time bragging about how awesome the new champion is rather than the old one. Vince praises Kane who has never had alcohol or uttered a swear or anything like that. He’s a role model apparently. Here’s Kane and Bearer does the talking of course.

Paul talks about how this is a place where dreams come true. He spent over twenty years watching Kane watch his brother and about how Kane wanted to be like Taker. Bearer told him that Kane could be better than him. For the first time, Taker is in Kane’s shadow. Here’s the belt presentation. Patterson isn’t here due to a family emergency which is legit if I remember correctly.

Vince goes to put the title on Kane but here’s Austin. He says Kane never busted him open which is true. Austin wants a rematch right here tonight. He keeps telling Vince to make it but Vince is hesitant. If the people want it, why not do it? Bearer says it’s all right with him if it’s all right with Kane. Now Austin yells at Kane, talking about how it was Taker who won the title last night and in a great bit of manipulation, Austin says Kane will always want to know if he could do it himself. Kane nods yes to Austin and the title match is on for later.

Darren Drozdov vs. Steven Regal

Sable introduces Regal, who sadly enough is just Steven Regal, British guy. I hadn’t realized it yet but Lawler is now on commentary both hours. Sable sits in on commentary. Droz hammers away on Regal who does his usual shouting. We’re on a split screen of the match and Sable, so at least there’s something to look at. JR keeps asking Sable about her relationship with Vince and all that and she can’t comment. Regal hooks a chinlock and pounds away on Droz. Droz makes a comeback and goes up. Regal suplexes him off the top and the Regal Stretch ends this boring match.

Rating: D-. I can see why Regal was sent down to Dory Funk’s training center for some more work. He hurt his ankle there though and later broke his leg so he didn’t have another match on WWF TV until around Halloween. That’s good too because this was really pretty boring stuff.

Here’s the new King, Ken Shamrock. He talks about how it was hard to win last night but he managed to win. As far as Rocky goes, the guy he beat last night, last night Rocky showed him something. Here comes Owen who says he was a better king than Ken is. Owen challenges him for later and Ken says it was Owen that broke his ankle so it’s on. Now here’s HHH who wants in on this too. Shamrock is a really weak talker. Granted that isn’t his strong suit and never was supposed to be.

We had to get here. I didn’t want to do it but we had to eventually. It’s time for the Brawl For All.

The UFC was gaining popularity so WWF tried to get in on some of it. This is the result. There are three one minute rounds and a point system. You get 5 points for the most punches per round, 5 points for a takedown and 10 points for a knockdown. A knockout ends the fight.

Now here’s where things got really stupid: It wasn’t predetermined. That’s right: this is a legit fighting tournament. Now, any common sense would suggest that Dan Sever, a legit all-American wrestler and an Olympic alternate as well as a former UFC Champion, would be the runaway favorite. However, for some reason this was designed to get Dr. Death Steve Williams over. That didn’t happen. It also didn’t help that it was another tournament just after the King of the Ring and that there were no submissions. Let’s get this over with.

Brawl For All First Round: Marc Mero vs. Steve Blackman

I won’t be rating any of these because it’s not wrestling. Blackman takes him down quickly but instead of holding him on the ground, they stand up and start all over again as soon as they hit the ground. The crowd is openly booing 26 seconds in. Blackman gets 4 takedowns in the first round alone. He also got the most punches so he’s up 25-0. The fans say they want wrestling. Blackman dominates the second round and there’s no point to even talking about this. After about 9 takedowns, Blackman wins by decision, making the points worthless. He was hurt though so Mero got to come back. So freaking stupid.

Kane says he’s giving Austin a title shot because he knows he can win and is better than Taker ever was.

Someone is just getting here.

Val Venis vs. Dick Togo

Make your own name jokes. Val chases Yamaguchi off with a chair. Yamaguchi’s wife is at ringside, which comes into play later. Val pounds him into the corner for a fast start. Dustin Rhodes comes out to preach a bit. Togo runs the corner and hits a nice flip dive attack. Rhodes wants to know if Jerry and JR have thought about how many people they can reach by spreading the word of God. Jerry says chill and Rhodes quotes scripture. DDT gets two for Togo. Togo goes up but jumps into a powerslam. A regular slam sets up the Money Shot (with gyrations) to end this clean. Pretty much just a squash.

Val hits on Yamaguchi’s wife post match. Yamaguchi protests and slaps him. Kai En Tai comes in so Val blasts them with a chair.

Edge is watching from the crowd.

Austin says he didn’t lose the title so he’ll be getting it back tonight.

HHH vs. Ken Shamrock vs. Owen Hart

Owen and Hart fight on the floor while HHH chills in the ring. Owen comes in so HHH pounds on him for a bit and the jumping knee gets two. Jerry suggests that HHH would have been the King of Kings if he had won there. So that’s where it started. All three are back in now and the fans are all over Owen. Shamrock and Owen wind up double teaming the Game and Shamrock gets two.

Owen is sent to the floor and HHH gets a flying knee for two. A piledriver gets two on Trips but Shamrock saves. Snap suplex puts Owen down but he pops up and grabs a German on Shamrock for two. During the break we got the triple sleeper and double jawbreaker spot. Now the blondes are going after the ankle of Shamrock which isn’t totally healed yet. A missile dropkick puts HHH down (with an inadvertent bell) and Owen hooks a Sharpshooter (Jerry: “Is Vince around?”).

Now Triple H tries the Pedigree on Shamrock but Owen breaks it up with a spinwheel kick. DDT puts HHH down and Shamrock comes back on Owen. Leg lariat gets two for Ken and he crushes HHH. Here’s the ankle lock to Owen but HHH makes the save. Rana is countered by HHH into a powerbomb but he gets enziguried to the floor. Chyna takes Owen out so Shamrock goes out to beat on him. Rock runs in and blasts HHH with the IC Title. Shamrock comes in and gets the easy pin.

Rating: C. This was a long match and it was very energetic as they moved all over the place the entire time. I wasn’t wild on it but I’m not a fan of triple threats in general. This was before the modern standard triple threat formula was established though so it was a nice change of pace.

DX and the Nation fight on the stage as is their custom. Owen puts Shamrock in a figure four around the post.

Here’s Taker who has an explanation of some sort. He says he owes no one anything but he’ll say why he came to the ring last night. He and his brother don’t get along but he couldn’t let Kane set himself on fire. Cole who is conducting the interview says that may have cost Austin the title. Taker says he did what he had to do.

Cue Vince who says Taker did it because he thinks he can beat Kane but not Austin. Vince calls him evil and threatens him with something if he interferes tonight.

Brawl For All First Round: Bradshaw vs. Mark Canterbury

Canterbury is Henry Godwinn. They throw a lot of punches during the first round and are gassed afterwards. Bradshaw pounds him down but Canterbury stands up. The fans think it’s boring. I’m not really going to bother talking about these much because that’s not what I’m here for. Canterbury gets a takedown as Lawler tries to make us believe that this is something impressive. Bradshaw wins if you care.

Summerslam is in 9 weeks. That would be pretty easily the biggest Summerslam ever.

Here’s the LOD minus Sunny. Animal says they have a new manager: Paul Ellering, their original manager. Here’s the LOD to complain though. Ellering turns on the LOD because the DOA is his new team. Ellering would later say that this was awful because he couldn’t bring himself to insult the LOD.

Taker says no one tells him what to do, implying that he’ll interfere in the title match.

WWF Title: Steve Austin vs. Kane

Austin has a bad arm from an infection I believe. Austin goes right at Kane but gets knocked down by the power. A forearm shot floors Kane though and the fans are erupting after every single move. Quick Stunner attempt is countered and Kane heads outside. Austin dives from the apron with a clothesline and Kane goes into the steps.

Back inside and Kane hammers him down but walks into the Thesz Press. Austin goes after the leg, wrapping it around the post. Kane kicks him to the floor and Austin goes into the steps again. Austin is in trouble so the fans cheer even faster. Even Bearer gets a poke in with what looked like an object. Off to a chinlock and here’s Taker.

Austin tries to make a comeback but walks into a big boot by the champion. Top rope clothesline takes Austin down. Austin tries to come back but walks into a bad chokeslam. Tombstone and Stunner are countered but the second attempt at the Stunner gives Austin the title back totally clean. Taker did nothing at all.

Rating: C-. This was kind of a weird match. Austin pretty much just beat Kane clean in about 9 minutes. I mean…that’s it. He too all of the attacks, countered the Tombstone and hit the Stunner to end it. There’s nothing else to it and that’s such a surprise given how dominant Kane had been over his time so far.

Austin Stuns Taker post match and the giants sit up at the same time to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The Brawl For All stuff just cripples it. I know it’s short, but my goodness it takes me out of the show. It drives me crazy when wrestling apparently isn’t enough so they have to do whatever else they can to try to get people watching. Just stick with what it says on the marquee and you won’t go wrong. Why Vince hates that idea is beyond me.

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WWF Championship Wrestling – March 14, 1984 – He Beat Him With An Abdominal Stretch?

WWF Championship Wrestling
Date: March 10, 1984
Location: Allentown Agricultural Hall, Allentown, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Gene Okerlund

Here’s another old show from the big boys. Championship Wrestling was the flagship show from the late 70s to mid 80s and had some title changes on it. This is a random show but I’ll probably do more of these later on. Anyway, this is from about a month and a half after Hogan won the title so you should have an idea of what this will be like. Let’s get to it.

The announcers run down the card.

Paul Orndorff vs. Rocco Verona

This announcers is straight out of a movie, rolling every word he says and being all over the top. Piper is with Orndorff as his manager. Orndorff is new here I think. We hear the Fink’s voice talking about an upcoming house show which is something you would hear a lot of. The fans are already chanting Paula. Paul sends him to the floor and we’re in pure squash mode here. A slam and knee drop put Verona down and the piledriver ends it. Total dominance.

Tito Santana vs. Israel Matia

Tito is IC Champion but this is non-title. Tito has only been champion for about a month now. He grabs the arm and works on that for awhile. Forearm off the middle rope ends this in another squash.

Jose Luis Rivera vs. Greg Valentine

Rivera is undefeated and Valentine is recently back to the company. When the match starts we get another voiceover talking about a show in a high school gym. It’s a fundraiser but how weird does it sound to hear about a WWF show being in a high school gym? Albano is with Valentine here. Valentine dominates to start but Rivera gets a few dropkicks. One misses though and he hurts his knee. Figure Four and we’re done quick.

Greg won’t let it go for awhile. He legs go of the hold and still works the knee over. Great redebut for Valentine (assuming this was one) as he looks like a killer.

Mr. Fuji plugs a house show match with Sgt. Slaughter in Boston. This must be a recording from the Boston market. He talks about stealing a watch from a dead marine….I think.

Orndorff wants to make sure he looks good before he talks about Tony Garea. Why is his hair blowing?

Andre says he’ll be celebrating St. Patrick’s Day, which is the day the show is on. He’s got Masked Superstar at the show. He might go for the mask but it’ll be after the match. It’s a DQ to steal a mask during a match. Did I stumble into a Chikara show?

Masked Superstar comes in (these promos are all in one long shot in front of a ring, allegedly in the Boston Garden) and that’s not the original one. The original is Ax from Demolition and he has a very distinctive voice.

Oh no it’s a midget match.

Tiger Jackson/Haiti Kid vs. Pancho Boy/Dana Carpenter

Carpenter is taller than the top rope, making him a giant midget. Pancho vs. Kid starts us off. Kid runs all over him and I really don’t like these matches. Pancho catapults him and a double tag brings in Jackson and Carpenter. Jackson is more famous as Dink the Clown. He wins with a middle rope cross body in about 100 seconds. NEXT.

Off to THE PIT!

The guest is Tito Santana. Roddy makes fun of Latinos so Tito goes on a rant and says he’ll fight anyone, even Piper. Tito leaves and Piper says he’s a coward. That was quick but MAN there could have been some awesome matches in there.

Steve Lombardi vs. David Schultz

Schultz is managed by Piper and is challenging Hogan at the Boston show so what do you think is happening here? Total dominance here as Schultz works on the back. Two middle rope elbows win this.

Schultz says he’s ready for Hogan.

Rocky Johnson/Tony Atlas/SD Jones vs. Goldie Rogers/Ron Butler/Charlie Fulton

Atlas and Johnson are tag champions. Johnson and I think Butler start us off. Atlas comes in and beats Butler up as we’re back in squash world here. Then again, that’s perfectly normal here. Here’s Fulton who is at least a name. Back to Jones who actually gets punched down by Fulton who is rather tall. Jones headbutts him down and here’s Rogers who has a big beard. Jones stretches the hamstrings out via a wishbone and Johnson helps him. Atlas gorilla presses Butler and pins him with a splash.

Rating: D+. I have no idea how to call this one. I mean, it’s a squash that runs about four and a half minutes. How much is there to say there? Fulton is the only one that got in a few shots and that’s it. Nothing to see here but Johnson and Atlas were pretty awesome so it’s always fun to see them.

Time for more promos. Up first: Schultz says Hogan isn’t going to succeed in his title defense. Schultz is from Tennessee so he has the thick accent. He also rants about Hogan being Irish on St. Patrick’s Day or something.

There’s another show in New Jersey with a battle royal. Hogan is defending against Schultz and goes on a big rant about how everything has changed since he won the title. It’s the old belt still too.

Tony Garea/Brian Blair vs. Bill Dixon/Frank Williams

The jobbers here have some very slight name recognition. Dixon lost to Hogan in Hulk’s first match back from the AWA and Williams was destroyed by Piper on the Pit once. Garea and Williams start us off and let the pain begin. Off to Blair who isn’t a killer yet but he is a bee apparently. The good guys work on Dixon’s arm as the show is almost over. To give you an idea of the era, Garea wins it with an abdominal stretch.

Overall Rating: D+. I don’t know what I can really say about this. Everything was a squash and that’s how almost all of these shows are going to be. Occasionally we might get an angle but it’s not that likely. Either way, the early months and the first full year of Hogan’s title reign is a different time as they didn’t have a big challenger for him yet so they plugged in whomever was handy, which is what Schultz was. Nothing much to see here but I have a bunch more of them.

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Over 100 New TV Shows

Found, put on a list, and will be randomly selected for reviews eventually. It’s mainly 80s syndicated stuff from WWF, WCW and a few other territory companies. This should be awesome.

KB