Monday Night Raw
Date: January 11, 1993
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 1,000
Commentators: Randy Savage, Vince McMahon, Rob Bartlett

So you might have seen this one before, as it is the premiere episode of the series as part of the celebration of the move over to Netflix. I’ve seen this one more than a few times but to call it historic would be an understatement, even if it might not have felt that way at the time. Let’s get to it.

Sean Mooney is outside and welcomes us to the show. Bobby Heenan tries to get inside but is told he’s been replaced by Rob Bartlett. There are no tickets left and he’s not getting in through the press entrance so yelling ensues.

Opening sequence.

Commentary runs down the card and Bartlett is already not funny.

Yokozuna vs. Koko B. Ware

Bartlett goes straight to the fat jokes, including saying Yokozuna has an “a** like amphitheater”. Ware gets shoved down a few times so he tries to get the fans behind him with the rhythmic clapping. That doesn’t work either, which shouldn’t be a major shock. The running shoulders have Ware bouncing off of Yokozuna and the big leg connects. Yokozuna crushes him in the corner and hits the Banzai Drop for the pin at 3:44.

Rating: C-. This was more the answer to a trivia question than anything else, with Yokozuna still being new around here and getting to destroy someone in the first match ever on Raw. There isn’t much to say about it either, as Ware was more known for his large pants at this point than anything else. Nothing match, and Bartlett’s jokes made it that much worse.

Bobby Heenan is very excited about Narcissus (Lex Luger, later named the Narcissist). Mr. Perfect is scared of the Narcissus, who will be debuted at the Royal Rumble.

Steiner Brothers vs. Executioners

Scott hammers on #1 to start before handing it off to Rick for more of the same. #1 is sent into the corner as Doink The Clown is walking through the fans. Rick sends #1 into the post and grabs a belly to belly. Scott hits another one and the Steiner Bulldog finishes at 2:59. Total destruction.

Bobby Heenan, in drag, can’t get inside. Where did he get that costume?

Here is Razor Ramon for an interview with Vince McMahon. He’s ready to get the WWF Title from Bret Hart at the Royal Rumble and will win the title way faster than Bret ever did. We see a clip of Razor attacking Owen Hart on WWF Mania and now it’s time for him to take the title from Bret. Simple and to the point here, even if the title match was nothing memorable.

There is a Headlock On Hunger show coming up and Randy Savage doesn’t seem to have the card in front of him in a weird bit.

Tatanka is ready for the Headlock On Hunger.

Intercontinental Title: Max Moon vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels is defending. Feeling out process to start as Bartlett makes an unfunny joke about a WWF version of an upcoming movie. Moon starts jumping over him and takes Michaels down with a jumping hammerlock to take over. We take a break and come back with Bartlett talking about Michaels pulling a knife during the break. Michaels drops him throat first across the top rope…and Doink walks out again as Bartlett “calls in” as Mike Tyson.

Michaels hammers away as the Tyson thing finally wraps up and we hit the chinlock. Moon fights up and sends him to the floor for a seated senton off the apron. Back in and the Tyson bit goes on again as Bartlett somehow does not get that it’s dying out there. Michaels hits the superkick and teardrop superkick to retain at 11:23.

Rating: C. This is a rare care where the match was fine but my goodness commentary dragged it WAY down. There was nothing funny about this and while I’m sure the Tyson impression made Vince laugh, it was distracting and another level of terrible. The match was ok, but no one watching was going to be able to focus on it because of the Tyson nonsense. Stop doing that.

Ad for WWF Mania. I could go for seeing some of that just for the flashbacks.

We get the Royal Rumble Report, with a focus on Shawn Michaels vs. Marty Jannetty. Michaels isn’t sure why Jannetty is getting a title shot, but Jannetty implies that Sherri will turn on Michaels during the match. That’s pretty much the story, with the Rockers not being mentioned.

Mr. Perfect is ready to win the Royal Rumble.

Mr. Fuji, with Yokozuna, is ready to crush everyone.

Jim Duggan isn’t sure if he’ll win, but he’ll give it all he’s got. Him winning the match a mere five years ago isn’t mentioned.

People are trying to get tickets for next week. Bobby Heenan’s beard disguise doesn’t work. Maybe he’ll try the roof.

We look at Kamala’s face turn over the weekend, as Reverend Slick convinces him to stand up to Harvey Wippleman and Kim Chee. If you need help standing up to those two goons, you’re already a lost cause.

Undertaker vs. Damian Demento

Undertaker starts fast and knocks him down, setting up Old School. Demento gets a boot up in the corner and hits a running shoulder to put Undertaker down again. That’s shrugged off and the Tombstone finishes Demento at 2:25.

Next week in a cage match: Woody Allen vs. Mia Farrow. I have no idea who this is supposed to appeal to but….no.

Doink The Clown isn’t scared of Crush, who comes out for a chase.

Heenan is allowed in as the show ends.

Overall Rating: C-. This is one of those shows where it is far more historic than memorable on its own. I’ve seen it a bunch of times over the years and there really isn’t anything that great on the whole thing. The wrestling is average at best and nothing on here makes you think it’s a special show.

At the same time, Bartlett is an absolute miss here and dragged the show WAY down. Now, that being said, I have seen a comment from Bartlett, who basically said he knew he was terrible in the role, but as a comedian, you can’t turn down a live mic on national television. Fair enough, but man alive did it not work. Overall, not a particularly good show, but that’s absolutely not the point here. This was about “this is the beginning” and that would be a huge understatement.

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Paul Bearer’s Hits From The Crypt
Host: Paul Bearer
Commentators: Stan Lane, Gorilla Monsoon, Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, Johnny Polo

Sometimes you need some good old fashioned Coliseum Video and…well this is from around 1994 and that’s not going to be the top shelf stuff. In this case, we should at last have some good stuff in there. I’ve done this tape before but it’s been a good many years and who am I to question the WWE Vault? Let’s get to it.

Paul Bearer welcomes us from the crypt and talks about the THOUSANDS of matches he’s gone through to pick the following.

From Syracuse, New York, April 12, 1994.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Lex Luger

Feeling out process to start as commentary goes on a bit of a weird rant about Jerry Jarrett (Jeff’s father) having a big mouth and running back to the south. Luger grabs a headlock to start so Jarrett complains about a hair pull, which commentary does not like. Jarrett’s shoulders to the ribs in the corner just seem to annoy Luger so Jarrett goes with some arm cranking.

That just earns him a gorilla press and the fans approve, but then Luger just strolls around the ring, as tends to be his case. A clothesline out of the corner gives Jarrett a breather and commentary is on him about wasting time, ignoring Luger being far worse about it just a few seconds earlier. Some ax handles to the back keep Luger in trouble as commentary calls out Luger for his lack of fire. Dang you can hear the burial building and it’s only going to get worse. Lane: “Lex could be sick, he could be injured. He could be coming off a European tour and be tired!”

The sleeper goes on and Luger has to fight up after two arm drops. Luger powers up and gets a suplex before starting the generic comeback. A few clotheslines and an elbow into a powerslam (Monsoon: “Not all that well executed by Lex.”) sets up the Rebel Rack to finish Jarrett at 13:13.

Rating: D+. Luger might as well have been reaching out for the paycheck that was keeping him going at this point as there was NOTHING here that would make you want to see him again. It was the most generic offense (as always) and absolutely no fire at all, with commentary coming close to burying him. It’s no shock that he was more or less done as anything important, as this was a cross between dull and embarrassing to watch.

From Springfield, Massachusetts, February 2, 1994.

Intercontinental Title: Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels with Diesel, is challenging and takes his time to start. They shove each other a bit before Ramon throws the toothpick into his face to really get things going. Michaels bails out to the floor for a chase before running the ropes back inside as we’re over two minutes in without any major contact. A leapfrog doesn’t quite work for Michaels though and Razor gets in a powerslam for two.

Michaels’ neckbreaker gives him two of his own but Razor punches his way out of a sunset flip, setting up the big clothesline to the floor. They go outside where Razor pulls the floor padding back but a Razor’s Edge on the floor is broken up, allowing Michaels to get in a hard posting. That slows things down a good bit and a slam on the exposed concrete has Razor’s back in trouble.

Back in and Shawn starts in on said back, including a top rope ax handle and a chinlock with a knee between the shoulders. That’s switched into a regular chinlock until Razor fights up, only to have his back give out on a backslide. The chinlock goes back on and Monsoon goes into an anatomy rant that has to be him showing off. Said chinlock lasts a rather long time until Razor fights up and hits a big running knee.

A backdrop sends Michaels flying but Razor’s back gives out to leave them both down again. Razor starts hammering but Diesel pulls him outside with Michaels joining in for the double countout at 11:28. Hold on though as Razor grabs the mic and says let’s see who the real champion is. Michaels eventually comes back in but Diesel’s distraction doesn’t work, allowing Razor to punch Michaels out of the air for two. The belly to back superplex is broken up and Michaels hits a nice superkick for two.

Back up and the referee gets bumped, meaning there is no one to count after the Razor’s Edge. Diesel comes in with a belt shot but the referee is still down. After a delay so long that it had to be mistimed, the referee gets up for two as Marty Jannetty runs in for the save. Somehow that isn’t a DQ so Diesel misses a shot at Marty and hits Michaels by mistake, allowing Razor to get a rollup pin at 18:54.

Rating: B-. This was a weird one, as you would think that a nearly 20 minute Razor vs. Michaels match would be a layup, but they tried to pack a lot into the end while not doing much for long stretches earlier on. The chinlock went on WAY too long and they had to lay around for a good while at the end, likely due to Marty being late. If you cut about five minutes out of this, it’s far better, though I kept waiting on one of them to grab a ladder as those matches are so much more famous.

Bearer takes us to a dressing room which was used by people like WC Fields and Harry Houdini. Ok then.

From Syracuse, New York on April 12, 1994.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Mabel

Luna Vachon and Oscar are here too as I wonder what I did so wrong to wind up here. Bigelow jumps him to start and nearly knocks the….whatever it is that he’s wearing. Mabel is back with an elbow, only to miss an elbow drop. An armdrag of all things takes Bigelow down and Mabel grabs an armbar as it’s already time for a breather. The armbar goes to the mat before Mabel manages a suplex, only to miss a splash.

Bigelow enziguris him to the floor where Oscar runs away from Luna (smart man). Commentary compares Mabel’s hair to Bigelow’s tattoos as Mabel slowly gets back inside. Bigelow grabs an armbar as Monsoon says that it’s hard to see where one ends and where the other starts. No Gorilla, it really isn’t.

An armdrag into another armbar has Mabel down as Lane is mocking Luna’s facial tattoos. Mabel fights up and gets in an armdrag, followed by a not so great dropkick. The spinwheel kick (it didn’t get much air) sets up a splash to Bigelow in the corner, only for him to break up a bulldog as this keeps going. A better than expected Cactus Clothesline leaves them on the floor and a rather fast ten count is a double countout at 8:32.

Rating: D. Oh like this was ever going to be good. Bigelow was trying here but there is only so much you can do with someone Mabel’s size. It was slow and very plodding with a lot of laying around in between the moves that didn’t go well. The WWF LOVES this kind of match though and I can see why live fans would have some fun with it, but dang it does not exactly hold up well.

Bearer says we’ve all been following the Headshrinkers vs. the Quebecers but he recaps it for us anyway.

From Burlington, Vermont on April 26, 1994 and actually from the May 2 Raw.

Tag Team Titles: Quebecers vs. Headshrinkers

The Quebecers, with Johnny Polo, are defending. Fatu and Pierre start things off as Vince thinks there are some Quebecers fans around here because we’re so close to Canada. They shove each other around to start with Fatu being rather excited. Fatu runs him over and it’s off to Jacques vs. Samu and a rake of the eyes lets the villain take over. Everything breaks down and the Quebecers are knocked outside, which is enough for them to walk out.

That’s enough for the referee to say get back in here or it’s a title change. The Quebecers do run back in, break the count, and then head outside again and we take a break. Back with Pierre getting knocked around as Savage seems to want a sandwich. Jacques gets in a knee from the apron to take over and the big clothesline turns Fatu inside out. A ram into the steps has Fatu in trouble and it’s a clothesline/legsweep combination for two. Jacques backdrops Pierre onto Fatu for two more and we’re clipped to Fatu managing a backdrop over the top.

Naturally that means it’s time to put the camera on the commentators, with the tag back to Samu bringing us back to the ring. That’s cut off in a hurry though as Samu’s head gets caught in the ropes to slow him down. A piledriver puts Samu down but the top rope Cannonball misses. Polo tries to get up but gets dropped by Afa and Captain Lou Albano. Jacques accidentally decks Pierre, who hits him right back. The double Stroke into the Superfly Splash gives Fatu the pin and the titles at 19:30.

Rating: C-. I was always a Headshrinkers fan but this didn’t work out very well. Other than Pierre getting some crazy height on the Cannonball, there wasn’t much to be seen here. It was just a kind of dull match, though seeing a title change on a tape like this is a cool bonus. Just have a better match next time.

From Poughkeepsie, New York on March 21, 1994, from the April 4 Raw.

Adam Bomb vs. Earthquake

Wrestlemania X rematch with Earthquake powering him out of the ring to start. Bomb misses a big swing and gets clotheslined back down for his efforts. Another knockdown works for Bomb and an elbow gets two. Earthquake does his best Andre impression by being tied up in the ropes but we pause for Howard Finkel to stare Harvey Wippleman down. Bomb misses another elbow but so does Earthquake. A top rope clothesline gives Bomb two but Earthquake hits a nice belly to belly. Another elbow (geez) and legdrop set up the Earthquake from Earthquake for the pin at 4:21.

Rating: D+. Well that was a lot of missed elbows. Seriously there were probably five of them missing in a match that wasn’t even five minutes long. It isn’t a good sign when the match is this long and somehow worse than their really short match at Wrestlemania. Also, Earthquake winning again in 1994 is bizarre to see.

Bearer has apparently been in a theater and recaps what we have been seeing. He could be completely cut out of this and nothing would be lost. And he’s not even in a crypt!

From Utica, New York on April 11, 1994 on the April 18, 1994 Raw.

Bret Hart vs. Kwang

Hart’s WWF Title isn’t on the line. Kwang hammers away to start and kicks Hart in the face before spraying the green mist into the air (not slime Vince). Hart fights up and takes over onto the arm, including some armdrags into an armbar. That’s broken up and Hart is sent outside as we take a break.

Back with Kwang hitting a running spinwheel kick in the corner and getting two off a snapmare (yes a snapmare). The nerve hold goes on as Owen Hart calls in, with Bret fighting up and hitting a quick crossbody. Owen calmly talks about how he’s going to beat Bret in a Wrestlemania rematch as Bret fights back and hits a few Moves Of Doom. The Sharpshooter finishes Kwang off at 10:18.

Rating: C. Well that was short and to the point. This was little more than a reason to have Owen call in and to get Bret on the tape. That makes for a weird moment though as this was about setting up an upcoming Raw match, which you wouldn’t be able to see if you were watching the tape later. It doesn’t help that it was a nothing match with Kwang not being much of a challenge in any way.

From Rochester, New York on April 13, 1994.

Quebecers/Jeff Jarrett vs. Men On A Mission/Doink The Clown

Monsoon forgets that Ray Rougeau has retired and it’s Doink dropping a right hand on Jacques to start. Jarrett gets in a cheap shot from the apron and comes in to stomp away as commentary points out that the Quebecers’ titles aren’t on the line. You couldn’t put this match before the title change on the same tape? Mo comes in to trade shoulders with Pierre, who easily takes over with a big running shoulder (that looked good), only to charge into a spinebuster.

Doink comes in but gets stomped down as the alternating beating begins. A big toss sends Doink throat first onto the top rope and Pierre gets backdropped onto him for two. Jarrett’s dropkick in the corner sets up more choking and Doink is about to lose his hair. Monsoon: “HEY DOINK! GET OUT!” A sunset flip gives Doink one and he is immediately stomped right back down.

Doink finally gets a boot up to knock Pierre away and the tag…well it should bring in Mable as the referee didn’t see it despite looking right at them. Monsoon is calling for Mabel to come in and drag Doink to the right corner as Jacques gets two off a piledriver. Doink gets up and brings in Mabel to clean house without much effort. A clothesline sets up the double splash to pin Jacques 11:33.

Rating: D+. This tape is getting to the point of horrible with one dull match after another. Here we had Doink getting beaten up for a good while, with Monsoon getting annoyed at the whole thing (and forgetting who was Mo and who was Oscar). Mabel was the big wrecking ball at the end but it was a really dull path to get there.

Paul Bearer talks about going to the theater with Undertaker on cold nights.

From Springfield, Massachusetts on February 2, 1994.

Lex Luger/Randy Savage vs. Yokozuna/Crush

Savage is banged up but Monsoon insists that he was going to wrestle after putting his “John Henry” on the contract. Luger and Yokozuna start things off with Yokozuna punching him down. Some running clotheslines rock Yokozuna but he drops Luger with a single clothesline. Savage comes in to work on the arm and the good guys change without a tag when Crush tries to cheat.

Yokozuna pulls Luger over to the corner for the tag to Crush, who takes over rather quickly. It’s already back to Savage, who gets distracted by Mr. Fuji and beaten down into the corner as things slow back down. Crush grabs a bodyscissors as this couldn’t be more of a “yeah we’re doing the match, don’t expect anything else” match if it tried, because they aren’t exactly doing so.

Yokozuna comes in for the nerve hold (with his back to the camera because this wasn’t a TV match. The big charge misses in the corner and Savage…well eventually goes towards the right corner but takes so long that Crush cuts him off. Crush goes up top but misses a….I think we’ll say knee, allowing the tag off to Luger. That’s cut off almost immediately but Savage gets in a salt bucket shot to Crush for the pin at 12:21. Yeah what a hero.

Rating: D. Oh sweet goodness this was lame as CRUSH was probably working the hardest here. No one cared in the slightest out there and the match just came and went. I know it’s the last match of the night and the fans are ready to go home, but sweet goodness, a bit of effort should not be too much to ask. Horrible stuff.

Bearer sets up the main event, thank goodness.

From Springfield, Massachusetts on November 30, 1993.

Undertaker vs. Crush

Crush doesn’t even get an entrance here to show you how important this is. Commentary makes impotence jokes as we get a staredown to start. Crush hammers away but gets caught with a running DDT as the pace is already slowing. An elbow drop misses and it’s a clothesline to put Undertaker on the floor, only for him to grab the Stunner over the top.

Old School connects before Undertaker misses the jumping clothesline (that looked weird). Crush superkicks him outside as Johnny Polo wants to know the difference between a thrust kick and a crescent kick. Some chair shots put Undertaker down and the slow strikes ensue. A ram into the corner wakes Undertaker up for some reason but Crush cuts him off with a backbreaker.

The posing lets Undertaker sit up, with Polo freaking out because it takes so long for Undertaker to sit up that you can pin him. Crush does some military presses (geez) and drops a leg but Undertaker sits up again. For some reason Crush tries a Tombstone, which is reversed into the real thing to give Undertaker the win at 7:02.

Rating: C-. First and foremost: Johnny Polo came as close to saving this as he was HILARIOUS, with the running gag about covering Undertaker before the situp being great stuff and seemingly accurate. Other than that, they didn’t do much here but Crush’s military presses were impressive and Undertaker can do some good things with just about anyone. Somehow this was a better match than almost anything on the tape, which shows you just how bad things are going here. It wasn’t a great or even good match, but at least it was a nicer (on a sliding scale) way to end things.

Bearer wraps it up.

Overall Rating: D-. When Kwang is in the second best match out of two hours, there is not much wroth seeing on this stupid tape. This was one of the worst releases I’ve ever seen from Coliseum Video as there was no reason for it to be this bad. You could see how bad things were for the WWF around this time and egads this was a perfect showcase of why. Bad wrestling, few stars to get behind and just….what was supposed to be good here? Absolutely awful stuff.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Royal Rumble 2002
Date: January 20, 2002
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 12,915
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is a show that is rather fondly remembered by some but I don’t recall it being anything special. Maybe it holds up better over time, which has certainly been the case before. The big appeal is the return of HHH, who is back in the ring after about eight months away following the famous quadriceps injury. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look back at some classic Royal Rumble endings. This transitions into a look at HHH returning. In case you thought they were hiding the obvious winner, they aren’t trying in the slightest.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Spike Dudley/Tazz

The Dudleys, with Stacy Keibler, are challenging and they jump the champs to start. The reverse 3D drops Tazz on the floor, leaving Spike, in a neck brace, on his own. Another reverse 3D hits Spike inside and there’s another neckbreaker to put him down again. A suplex makes it even worse as Tazz is on the apron.

Spike slips out of another suplex and hits the Dudley Dog but D-Von cuts off a tag. One heck of a double flapjack (JR mentions the Midnight Express) sets up a middle Swan Dive from D-Von and the Dudleys clothesline each other by mistake. Tazz comes in o clean house with the suplexes but stops to Tazmission Stacy. Spike gets thrown over the top for a nasty crash to the floor, leaving Tazz to get the Tazmission on D-Von to retain at 5:07.

Rating: C. This is one of those instances where they were trying to do something different and I get the thinking, but Spike and Tazz as the best tag team around just didn’t work very well. They were certainly trying and there was a story here, but it this could have been on any given Raw and felt as unimportant. Points for trying, though it didn’t click.

We recap Edge defending the Intercontinental Title against William Regal, who has bee using the brass knuckles. Edge fought back with a chair to break his nose, so now it’s time to fight for good.

Edge has his chair and is ready to fight the Devil, who is going to get burned.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. William Regal

Edge is defending. We get the old weapons check on Regal…and the referee finds the brass knuckles. You don’t see that very often. I mean, it happens every time I watch this match but that’s probably just an odds thing. Edge starts fast and hammers away as Lawler thinks the referee planted the brass knuckles in Regal’s trunks. Regal comes back with a shot to the face to take over and adds some jumping knees to the face.

The cross arm choke has Edge in more trouble but he suplexes his way to…well not freedom as Regal holds on and hits a tiger bomb for two. They head to the apron where Edge grabs a DDT onto the apron for a rather delayed two, despite his legs being underneath the ropes. Back up and they collide for a double knockdown, followed by Edge grabbing a suplex for two more. Regal shows him how to do a much better suplex so Edge nails a hard clothesline.

A quick Regal Stretch has Edge in trouble, sending him over to the ropes. Naturally Edge grabs the same hold and of course Regal goes right back to the ropes for a break of his own. A top rope spinwheel kick (that always looks good) connects but Regal pulls out even more brass knuckles (How did the referee not notice those?). The spear takes out the referee by mistake and Regal knocks Edge cold for the title at 9:45.

Rating: C+. This was a bit better than the opener but it still felt like something that could have been on a regular television show. The stuff with the brass knuckles was a nice touch though, with Regal being the kind of person to have multiple weapons just in case. Edge would be on his way to some far bigger and better things going forward, not the least of which would be a nice shampoo commercial.

Post match Regal brags about being blessed with the Power Of The Punch. JR: “He’s a liar!”

Women’s Title: Jazz vs. Trish Stratus

Stratus, with a bad hand, is defending and Jacqueline is guest referee. Jazz starts fast and fires off a backdrop, setting up a splash (JR: “Right on the purple puppies!” Lawler: “Hey, that’s my line! Right on the purple puppies!”) for two. Another knockdown lets Jazz start in on the hand but it’s time to argue with Jacqueline. Some shoving ensues and Jacqueline counts a VERY slow two off a rollup. A quick Stratusfaction gives Stratus two but Jazz is back with a DDT for the same. Back up and Jazz charges into a boot in the corner, setting up a bulldog to give Stratus the retaining pin at 3:43.

Rating: C-. I’m not sure how much Jacqueline added here as she was little more than a familiar face who didn’t really do anything for the ending. Maybe it’s a way to give Stratus a chance, but it wasn’t exactly a good match and felt like it could have been on TV. In other words, it was the women’s division in 2002.

Ric Flair’s family is here for his street fight.

We recap Vince McMahon vs. Ric Flair. Back in November, Flair debuted as the new co-owner of the WWF, leading to a not so great business relationship. They hate each other so they’re having a street fight. Naturally Vince dressed up as Flair because that’s one of his favorite deals. Then he beat Flair up with a pipe a bunch of times. This is WAY longer of a recap than this match probably needs.

Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon

Street fight. They circle each other to start and Vince shoves him down, meaning it’s time to pose. Flair goes for the grappling to take over but gets taken into the corner for some shots to various places. They go outside with McMahon bending a KEEP OFF sign over Flair’s head. Some trashcan shots have Flair busted open as this has been pretty much all Vince so far.

The beating continues with Vince grabbing a camera to take a picture of the bloody Flair but Flair’s daughter takes it away. Back inside and Vince starts in on the leg with some cranking before the required Figure Four. With that broken up, Vince grabs the lead pipe but Flair hits him low for the needed breather.

Flair knocks him outside and gets in a monitor shot to the head to bust Vince open. The beating takes Vince around the ring to Flair’s daughter, who takes pictures with the camera from earlier (nice touch). There’s another low blow and now Flair has the pipe. The big shot to the head sets up the Figure Four and Vince gives up at 14:58.

Rating: B. This was a match where they didn’t go anywhere away from the most basic route and that’s what it should have been. Vince attacked him to start and tried to humiliate him, only for Flair to fight back and do the exact same things to him. Flair then beat him with a wrestling hold because he’s the better man and the fans got behind him throughout. It’s a match that Flair can do in his sleep and it worked well here. Good stuff and by far the best part of the show so far.

Nick Patrick has no idea what he thought of the William Regal title win but Stephanie McMahon comes in. She dismisses Patrick and promises that HHH will destroy everyone. It’s a shame Steve Austin’s wife Debra won’t be there, but Austin pops up behind her for the WHAT treatment (when it was still new). With Stephanie gone, Austin does a lot of WHATing about winning the Royal Rumble.

We recap Chris Jericho defending the WWF Title against the Rock. They had been feuding before Jericho won the title and now they’re doing it again after he won. Rock has made it clear that he’s taking Jericho seriously because this isn’t a joke. Then he said “tick tock, tick tock” a bunch.

WWF Title: Chris Jericho vs. The Rock

Jericho is defending and talks trash to start, meaning the beating is on in a hurry. The Samoan drop gives Rock an early two so Jericho bails out to the floor. Back in and the flying forearm takes Rock down but he avoids a charge into the post. Jericho is fine enough to hit the spinwheel kick for two and of course he complains about the count. The arrogant cover gets two and the missile dropkick connects for the same.

We hit the chinlock for a good while before Jericho goes up, only to get caught by some right hands. A superplex brings Jericho back down and they both need a breather. Back up and Rock hammers away, with his belly to belly throw getting two. Jericho is right back with the bulldog into a pair of Lionsaults for two but dives into the Sharpshooter.

Cue Lance Storm for a distraction as Jericho is tapping, leaving Rock to have to fight off an invading Christian. Jericho’s Rock Bottom gets two as the other Canadians are ejected but a counterfeit People’s Elbow is broken up. They fight out to the floor and Rock hits a heck of a Rock Bottom through the announcers’ table for a huge crash. Back in and Jericho countering another Rock Bottom into the Walls, sending Rock over to the ropes.

The referee gets bumped and there’s a belt shot for two, with another referee running in for the count (If he saw the ref bump, how did he not see the belt shot ten seconds later?). Rock grabs a DDT but the new referee (Nick Patrick, who was screwy earlier in the Regal match) won’t count, earning himself a Rock Bottom. The spinebuster and Rock Bottom get…nothing as there’s no referee. Well Rock brought that on himself. Jericho hits him low and sends him into an exposed buckle for a rollup with feet on the ropes for the pin to retain at 18:49.

Rating: B+. Jericho was reaching a new level at this point and having long form pay per view matches with people on the Rock’s level was only going to help that. It had a lot of shenanigans at the end, but what matters is Jericho beat someone that important. Jericho was needing to make it last while it could though, as the major stars were on their way. Rock was in a weird place too, as he was so huge at this point that he needed something special and going after the title really didn’t feel that important. At least not here. Anyway, rather good match here as these two work together very well.

Don’t try this at home.

Shawn Michaels, in a very Texas shirt, is at WWF New York and loved the McMahon vs. Flair match. He’s got the Undertaker or Steve Austin in the Royal Rumble.

We recap the Royal Rumble, which is HHH’s to win by about a hundred miles, with Steve Austin, Undertaker and Kurt Angle as the other best options….but it’s going to be HHH. They really didn’t even bother trying to hide it, which sometimes can’t be avoided.

Royal Rumble

Two minute intervals with Rikishi in at #1 and the returning Goldust in at #2. The ring is mostly covered in gold confetti as Goldust hammers away, only to be knocked to the apron. This lets commentary explain the rules again, which is perfectly fine and a good way to get fans refreshed before things get crazy. Rikishi knocks him down into the corner and here is Big Boss Man in at #3 to get knocked into the corner as well. A running clothesline turns Rikishi inside out and the slow brawling ensues until Bradshaw is in at #4.

The Stinkface has Boss Man in trouble and that’s the first elimination. Bradshaw powerbombs Goldust and it’s Lance Storm in at #5. The lack of anything interesting continues as it’s just low level people hitting each other without much urgency. Al Snow is in at #6 to pick up the pace a bit (let that one sink in for a bit) and the Clothesline From Bradshaw knocks Storm silly (but not out).

Billy Gunn is in at #7 and is quickly booted in the face by Bradshaw. Snow and Storm fight to the apron with Storm being superkicked out, which is somehow the most exciting part of the match about ten minutes in. Goldust dumps Bradshaw and it’s the Undertaker in at #8 to likely clear out more than a few people. Undertaker cleans house and knocks out everyone else in the ring without much trouble, leaving him standing alone (the fans like it).

Matt Hardy is in at #9 and it goes about as well as you would expect, only for Lita (who Undertaker recently attacked) to dive in for a distraction. A low blow lets Matt get in a running neckbreaker but Undertaker slugs him away. Undertaker loads up a suplex but Jeff Hardy is in at #10 for the save and we get a Team Xtreme beatdown. With Lita on the floor, Undertaker fights back, only to get caught in the Twist Of Fate/Swanton. Poetry In Motion is a bad idea though as Jeff is thrown out, leaving Matt to take the Last Ride, setting up the easy elimination.

Undertaker is left alone and it’s Maven, from Tough Enough, in at #11 (unfortunately with his rather awesome song missing). Undertaker goes after Lita again though and the Hardys come in to jump him. The sore losers are thrown out again….and Maven eliminates Undertaker with a dropkick. This marks the all time high point of Maven’s career and is immediately followed by an absolute massacre, as Undertaker completely wrecks him, including a nasty chair shot to the head.

Maven is thrown back inside as Scotty 2 Hotty is in at #12 and is punched in the face on the way to the ring. The bloody Maven is thrown over the top for an elimination as the destruction continues. Undertaker knocks him through the crowd and into the concession area, where the bloody Maven (as Christian is in at #13) is sent through a popcorn machine. Christian lays over the top as Scotty finally gets in, which is a heck of a lot better than waiting around for someone else to enter.

Diamond Dallas Page is in at #14 and goes after Christian but gets superkicked to the floor (not out). That leaves Scotty to give Christian the Worm…and then get thrown out by Page. Chuck is in at #15 as we’re back to the lack of top level stars. Chuck and Page slug it out (and do better than you might expect) as the Godfather, now the owner of an escort service is back at #16.

This means bringing out twelve women for his entrance, including a lot of dancing (JR: “Well he did give me a coupon earlier today…” Lawler: “HE’S GOT COUPONS!”) as we just stop watching the match. Page is eliminated off camera as Godfather goes back for more dancing. Godfather finally gets in and is promptly beaten down as Albert (the Hip Hop Hippo) is in at #17.

The villains fight up and knock out Albert and then Godfather, as this is still managing to stay slow. Perry Saturn is in at #18 and it’s more of the same generic brawling. We’re desperately needing someone to come in and spice things up….and Steve Austin is in at #19. Yeah that works, with Austin clearing the ring with three straight eliminations.

That doesn’t leave him anything to do, so he throws Christian and Chuck back in for another Stunner and toss over the top each. That’s the kind of thing Austin would do and it made him feel like so much more of a star because he was doing something extra other than just sitting around waiting. Val Venis (also returning) is in at #20 and actually takes over for a bit, which isn’t likely to last long. Indeed it doesn’t as Austin fights up, only to be jumped by Test, who is in at #21.

Austin fights up and eliminates them like they’re Val Venis and Test against Steve Austin in the Royal Rumble. That leaves Austin alone…and HHH is in at #22 for the mega showdown. They stare each other down and eventually slug it out until Hurricane is in at #23, as a double clothesline gives us a double knockdown. Hurricane tries a double chokeslam, giving us a funny look between Austin and HHH before they throw him out.

Faarooq is in at #24 and gets in a few shots before being tossed out as well. HHH and Austin get to fight some more and it’s the returning (we have a theme) Mr. Perfect in at #25 to quite the reaction. Perfect wisely takes his time getting in before going after Austin and punching HHH down. Things slow again until Kurt Angle is in at #26, with the fans knowing they’re in for some bigger stuff now.

For some reason Austin saves HHH from Angle, earning himself an overhead belly to belly. Big Show is in at #27 but the double chokeslam is broken up. Show fights back and tries a gorilla press on Angle, with HHH making the save. JR tries to explain that HHH feels Show is a bigger threat than Angle and….eh I guess I can take that. Show cleans house and chokeslams HHH but it’s Kane in at #28.

We get the big power showdown and Kane dumps Show, only to walk into a Stunner, allowing Angle to throw Kane out as well. Rob Van Dam is in at #29 with a Five Star to Angle and kicks to various people. Rolling Thunder hits Austin but HHH is back with a Pedigree, leaving everyone down. Booker T. is in at #30, giving us a final grouping of Austin, HHH, Perfect, Van Dam, Angle and Booker, who tosses Van Dam with no trouble.

The Spinarooni ensues…and so does a Stunner to get rid of Booker in about thirty seconds. Angle Angle Slams HHH and then rolls the German suplexes, only for Austin to get in a low blow. Austin is sent out to the apron but fights back…and is tossed by Angle and Perfect in something of a surprise exit.

We’re down to three and the beating continues on the floor. That doesn’t work for Austin, who comes back in with chair shots for everyone before leaving himself. Perfect is up with the PerfectPlex and Hennig necksnap to Angle, only for HHH to throw Perfect out. HHH takes Angle down and hammers away before getting in some choking. A backdrop sends HHH to the apron but he’s right back in with a facebuster and clothesline for the win at 1:09:25.

Rating: C+. I couldn’t get into this one for the most part, as there were just so many parts of low level names doing the bare minimum. It had some good parts, like the Undertaker vs. the Hardys, Maven’s destruction, HHH vs. Austin and most of Austin’s shenanigans, but those were feeling really far apart at times. It’s certainly not the worst Rumble, but HHH was the clear winner throughout and that made for a long stretch until we got to the ending.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a show that needed one more good match as the first three were just passable at best. The Flair vs. McMahon and Jericho vs. Rock matches were both worth a look and the Rumble was ok enough, but there just wasn’t much that stood out. The Rumble needed another viable winner, and with Undertaker out early and Austin just past his prime, it wasn’t there. Not a bad show at all, but there are far better options.

Ratings Comparison

Spike Dudley/Tazz vs. Billy and Chuck

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C

William Regal vs. Edge

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C+

Trish Stratus vs. Jazz

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C-

Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: B

Chris Jericho vs. The Rock

Original: B+
2013 Redo: B
2025 Redo: B+

Royal Rumble

Original: C-
2013 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: B-
2013 Redo: B-
2025 Redo: B-

So most of the matches were lower but the overall rating was the same every time. In case you need any more proof that I used to be really bad at my job, here you go. The first three matches aren’t very good but they’re not as bad as I had said before.

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Royal Rumble 1994
Date: January 22, 1994
Location: Providence Civic Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Attendance: 14,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Ted DiBiase

This is one of those shows where the good stuff is good but the bad stuff is REALLY bad. The main idea here is that someone has to stop Yokozuna, and it’s going to be one of three people: Bret Hart or Lex Luger who could get the shot by winning the Rumble, or the Undertaker who has a casket match against Yoko tonight for the title. Oh….this is going to be a long night. Let’s get to it.

Vince is on commentary here and gets to do his carnival barker stuff. The guy knows how to make a show sound exciting, I have to give him that. DiBiase comes out to do commentary with McMahon due to having to retire late in 1993 due to a bunch of injuries.

Tatanka vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Bigelow is in Ludvig Borga’s spot because Borga broke his ankle. Bigelow pounds on Tatanka to start and dropkicks him into the corner. Tatanka literally bounces off of Bigelow before coming back with a chop to take Bigelow down. A DDT puts Bam Bam down again but Tatanka goes up for a cross body, missing Bigelow by a mile. This is a REALLY hot start so far. Bigelow crushes Tatanka in the corner with a splash and things slow down somewhat.

Tatanka gets in a shot to the head and tries a top rope sunset flip, only to have Bam Bam sit on him. When all else fails, sit on the other guy. Off to a bearhug for about two minutes before Bigelow drops him with a shoulder block. Tatanka starts his war path thing so Bam Bam decks him in the head with an enziguri to drop him. The moonsault misses though and Tatanka goes up again, this time hitting the cross body for the pin.

Rating: C+. Shockingly hot opener here and if you cut the bear hug in half or so, this is a really solid match. They stuck to the formula really well here and the match was good as a result. This is one of the nice surprises in wrestling: on paper this sounded horrible but it turned out to be a pretty nice match. Good opener.

We recap the tag title match, which is a rare instance where it’s all about the challengers rather than the champions. Owen Hart was the only Hart Brother eliminated in the Survivor Series match against Shawn and his Knights, which ticked him off. Owen had been whipped into Bret on the apron and the distraction let Shawn roll Owen up for the pin.

This caused Owen to cut a heel promo, talking about how he was tired of being in Bret’s shadow and wanting a match with him to escape it. Bret of course said no, but instead offered to team up with Owen to get his brother his first championship. Owen talked about leading the team but seemed genuinely ok at this point. For some reason we also see the Quebecers losing the tag titles to the 1-2-3 Kid and Marty Jannetty for a single week for some reason.

The Harts talk about all the teams they’re going to give title shots to once they win the belts tonight.

Tag Titles: Bret Hart/Owen Hart vs. Quebecers

The Quebecers are managed by Johnny Polo, who would change his name to Raven in ECW. Pierre and Bret start things off with the challenger taking over. Off to Owen to work on the arm with his signature spinning counter to a wristlock. Off to Jacques and they botch something, but Owen hits a quick suplex to keep things on track. An enziguri gets two for Owen and it’s back to Bret.

After a bunch of rollups by Bret, everything breaks down and the Quebecers take over. Actually scratch that as Owen hits a kind of spear into a rollup for two and the Harts stand tall. It’s Bret vs. Jacques with Hart in control until it’s back to Owen for a gutwrench suplex for two. Bret comes back in, only to get powerslammed down by Pierre. A pair of knees to the back gets two and it’s back to Jacques.

That goes nowhere so Pierre comes in to jump into a boot. Owen comes back in and belly to bellys Jacques down before hooking the Sharpshooter. Pierre bulldogs Owen down for a fast save of course and it’s back to Pierre legally. Owen dropkicks both Quebecers down and it’s off to Bret again. For some reason both champions are allowed to stay in the ring for way too long. Pierre is atomic dropped to the floor, and now we get to the turning point of the match: Johnny Polo holds the ropes open to send Bret to the floor. Bret comes up holding his knee and he’s in big trouble.

Pierre rams the knee into the barricade to further the damage and the match turns into a kind of sloppy brawl on the floor. Owen finally throws Bret back into the ring and the leg work begins. Jacques puts on a half crab but Owen makes a fast save. The champions load up the Cannonball (kind of an aided Swanton) but Bret rolls away. Instead of tagging though, Bret tries the Sharpshooter….and the referee stops the match for the knee injury.

Rating: B-. This is one of those matches where you can look at it in multiple ways. From a match standpoint, it’s a standard tag match with the faces and heels doing exactly what they would be expected to do. On the other hand, the idea here was about setting up Owen’s heel turn, and the ending does that perfectly. There was no reason for Bret to not tag at the end and it sets Owen off as it should.

Post match Owen glares at Bret and paces back and forth. Bret manages to pull himself up but can barely stand up. Owen kicks the leg out, officially turning heel to HUGE booing. He leaves so here are some officials to come check on Bret. Ray Rougeau, a reporter for WWF at this point, comes out to interview Bret while he’s on his back in agony. For some reason that cracks me up.

Owen is in the back and goes on a huge tirade about how selfish Bret is and how Bret cost him the biggest match of his career. Bret is being carried to the back and has to watch this promo on the video screen. Owen’s face here is great as he unleashes all this pent up anger and frustration on Bret, saying he’ll win the Rumble because he doesn’t have to count on Bret. This would be the top feud for the next eight months or so.

Intercontinental Title: IRS vs. Razor Ramon

Guess who is defending here. JR and Gorilla Monsoon do commentary for this match. IRS goes on a big rant about how evil the crowd here is for not paying their taxes, even though they have about three months left to file. Razor goes off on IRS to start, knocking him out to the floor. IRS comes back with some forearms but Razor punches him right back down to take over again.

Ramon hits a bunch of basic stuff like atomic drops and clotheslines for some two counts, but IRS ducks under a clothesline to send Razor out to the floor. Back in and IRS goes up but jumps into a boot. For one of the only times I can EVER remember this happening, IRS avoids the foot and drops an elbow for two instead. WHY IS THAT SO HARD FOR PEOPLE TO DO???

We hit the chinlock for well over a minute before Razor fights up and hits the fallaway slam. The referee gets knocked out in the corner and IRS grabs his briefcase, only for Razor to take it back and clock him in the head with it. No referee though, so Razor loads up a belly to back superplex. There’s still no referee, so Razor sets for the Edge, only to have Shawn run out and clock him with the fake IC Title. IRS finally wakes up and pins Razor for the title.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t bad but the overbooking hurt it a lot. This should have lasted about three minutes less and it would have been a lot better. Oddly enough I don’t remember IRS being champion at all, but then again this is the remastered version so maybe they really cleaned things up.

Or maybe another referee comes out to explain the interference and the match is restarted. Razor hits the Edge to retain.

Bearer and Undertaker are making a coffin for Yoko.

We recap the world title match, which is Yoko being scared of Taker and Taker being one of the last hopes to stop the monster. Apparently the contract was signed before Yoko and company knew it was a casket match. Taker I believe debuted his popping out of the casket spot in this feud.

WWF World Title: The Undertaker vs. Yokozuna

They stare each other down to start and Taker fires off his uppercuts to stagger the champion. A clothesline puts Yoko down and another uppercut puts Yoko on the floor. Taker is sent into the steps and it’s immediately no sold, scaring Yoko to death again. There’s Old School but the jumping clothesline misses as Yoko ducks. Why does no one else ever think of doing that?

They fight over a chair on the floor which winds up going upside Yoko’s head. There’s a plastic chair to the back of the champion but Yoko grabs the trusty salt to blind Taker. Now it’s Taker’s back getting hit with the chair and we head back inside. A clothesline puts Taker down but he fights out of the casket. Taker wins a slugout in the middle of the ring but Yoko belly to belly suplexes him down. Come on. You know that’s not holding him down. Taker pops up and grabs Yoko by the throat and hits a DDT to put the champion down again.

Yoko is placed in the casket but here’s Crush to block Taker from closing it. Taker slugs him down so here’s Great Kabuki and Tenryu but Taker beats them down as well. Yoko is still out cold in the casket. Bam Bam Bigelow comes in now and it’s 4-1 in the ring. One has to wonder why Paul Bearer doesn’t go over and close the casket but this match doesn’t seem to be the most logical one. Fuji and Cornette have stolen the Urn.

Yoko finally gets out of the casket as Bearer beats up Fuji and Cornette, stealing the Urn back. He uses it to recharge Taker, who fights off all four mercenaries. Now it’s Adam Bomb to make it technically 8-1 but Taker fights everyone off with the salt bucket. Jeff Jarrett comes in as well, as do the Headshrinkers. That makes it NINE wrestlers (Yoko, Crush, Kabuki, Tenryu, Bigelow, Jarrett, Samu, Fatu, Adam Bomb) against Undertaker.

AND HE GETS UP. Diesel comes out and they get Taker in the coffin but he fights ALL OF THEM OFF. Yoko steals the Urn and hits Taker in the head with it before opening the Urn. Green smoke comes out of it and Taker now is powerless. Everyone hits a bunch of moves on him as this goes on WAY too long. After ALL THAT, Taker is put in the coffin and Yoko retains the title.

Rating: F. On a major wrestling show, The Undertaker just fought off ten men until green smoke was released to drain him of his power. I’ve seen Japanese anime that makes more sense than this. Oh and the match itself, as in the one on one part, might have gone about six minutes.

BUT IT GETS WORSE!

The heels all push the coffin away when a gong goes off. Smoke comes out of the casket…..and a FREAKING CAMERA FEED FROM INSIDE THE CASKET POPS UP ON THE SCREEN. Taker says his soul lives in everyone and he can’t be extinguished. He says there’s going to be a rebirth of the Undertaker and he won’t rest in peace. Then electrical noises go off and we get something like an inverse camera shot (as in it’s all in black and white but what is white is black and what is black is white).

Then, to REALLY hammer home the point, the image on the screen starts to rise up through the top of the screen (which should be the top of the casket, meaning it should be ramming into the people that put him in the freaking casket) and A FREAKING BODY RISES OUT OF THE TOP OF THE SCREEN. AS IN A TANGIBLE BODY (which might have been played by Marty Jannetty).

In other words, WWF just said Taker is something like Jesus. Oh and one other thing to really make sure this is stupid: YOU CAN’T SEE IT. All I can see are some quick shots of it when flashes go off. This is one of those things that embarrasses me as a wrestling fan. I mean…..WOW.

The usual Rumble interviews eat up some time.

Royal Rumble

Scott Steiner is #1 and Samu is #2. Also the intervals are every 90 seconds this year so the entrances will come in faster than ever. Scott pounds away to start and hits a butterfly suplex as Samu tries to hang on. He does indeed survive and kills Scott with a clothesline. Rick Steiner is #3 and Samu is in BIG trouble. After some suplexes he’s out very quickly (but not before getting his head caught in the top and middle rope which is always kind of scary looking), giving us the Battle of the Steiners.

That battle literally lasts six seconds as Kwang (Savio Vega in a mask, allegedly Asian here) is #4. Scott suplexes Kwang down and Owen Hart is #5 to BIG heel heat. The heels take over and Owen actually dumps Rick out. That’s one of the rare times where the constant pushing against the ropes worked. Bart Gunn is #6 and things speed up a bit. No one really does anything so here’s Diesel at #7. This is where things pick up as this match is without a doubt Diesel’s coming out party.

He beats on everyone and throws out Bart, Scott, Owen and Kwang inside of 45 seconds. Bob Backlund is #8 and immediately goes for the leg. He actually gets Diesel up against the ropes and upside down, but Diesel will have none of that. Who would believe these two would have a world title match in Madison Square Garden later in the year? Backlund is gone quickly. Billy Gunn is #9 and doesn’t even last fifteen seconds.

We cut to the back where Kabuki and Tenryu are destroying Lex Luger. After Diesel stands around for a bit, he has to throw out Virgil who is #10 in about thirty seconds (causing DiBiase to laugh loudly and get in some good verbal jabs). Note that the fans are LOUDLY chanting for Diesel here, who had NEVER gotten a reaction until this point. No one has been able to stand up to Diesel at all so far. #11 is Randy Savage. This should be a bit better challenge I’d think.

Savage goes right for him and pounds away on the big man in the corner before peppering him with jabs. He has Diesel in trouble but Jeff Jarrett is #12 to save the not yet Big Daddy Cool. We hear about Jarrett wanting to become WWF Champion so he’ll be a famous country singer in Nashville. And people wonder why he never got over until he completely changed everything about his character.

Savage is thrown to the apron by Jarrett but Randy comes back and eliminates Jeff with ease. Crush, who Savage HATES at this point, is #13. Diesel just kind of chills in the corner as Savage beats up Crush. The numbers finally catch up with Savage though until Crush eliminates him with ease. Doink is #14 and he gets beaten up as well but not tossed. Here’s his big rival Bam Bam Bigelow at #15 and it’s 3-1 now. Bigelow easily thorws the clown out ala the Spike Dudley throw from ECW.

Mabel is #16 and dang there are some big guys in there. He goes right for Diesel in a terrifying preview of Summerslam 95. Mabel cleans house until Sparky Plugg (Bob Holly as a racecar driver and debuting here as a replacement for the 1-2-3 Kid) is #17. Shawn Michaels is #18 and stares down Diesel to start. Everyone gets on Diesel and Shawn gives the final push to eliminate him. Diesel gets a VERY audible ovation and chant as he leaves.

Mo, Mabel’s totally useless partner, is #19. Nothing of note happens so here’s Greg Valentine in a one night only appearance at #20. Mabel misses a charge in the corner and Shawn is gorilla pressed by Crush but not eliminated for some reason. Tatanka comes in at #21. To recap we’ve got Plugg, Valentine, Tatanka, Mabel, Bigelow, Crush, Michaels and Mo in there. Valentine puts Michaels on the apron but can’t get him out.

Kabuki is #22 and almost everyone gangs up on Mabel to dump him out. It’s amazing how much easier it is to see with the big fat purple tub of goo out of there. Lex Luger (looking FINE after that attack like 15 minutes ago) is #23 and he cleans house. There are ten people in the ring right now but there goes Kabuki at the hands of Lex. Luger clotheslines Bigelow down and here’s Tenryu at #24.

There are WAY too many people in there right now. Like seriously, do we need FREAKING MO in there? Or Valentine? Those are bodies you could dump out and no one would care. Luger and Tenryu go at it as Shawn is almost dumped out. Bastion Booger is supposed to be #25 but he’s not here for some reason (Vince says it was supposed to be Bret Hart but more on that in a bit). I believe there are nine people in there at the moment so Booger not coming in was a good thing. Granted it was a good thing either way but you get the idea. Rick Martel is #26 and nothing happens.

For your big face pop of the match (other than Diesel): Bret Hart is #27 and limping very badly. Today, people would have a bandage on the knee and charge to the ring because modern wrestling is stupid. Fatu is #28 and DEAR FREAKING GOODNESS THROW SOMEONE OUT ALREADY! A bunch of guys team up and FINALLY throw Crush out as Marty Jannetty is #29. Naturally he goes right for Shawn and punches Shawn to the apron.

Adam Bomb is #30, giving us a ridiculous THIRTEEN FINAL PEOPLE in the Rumble. The final group is Bigelow, Sparky, Shawn, Mo (seriously, FREAKING MO?), Valentine, Tatanka, Luger, Tenryu, Martel, Hart, Fatu, Jannetty and Bomb. Bret saves Shawn (shocking I know) to dump out Sparky, thank goodness. Bret beats on everyone as we still need to get rid of more people. Everyone beats on everyone for awhile and nothing is happening. DiBiase: “The smart thing to do is go after Bret Hart’s knee.” Vince: “The smart thing to do is throw people out of the ring.” Did….did Vince just burn Ted Dibiase?

Martel dumps Valentine but is quickly dumped out by Tatanka. Luger throws out Bomb and Mo is FINALLY put out as well. Bigelow tosses Tatanka and Lex forearms Bam Bam out. Jannetty goes out to get us down to Luger, Hart, Fatu, Tenryu and Shawn. Tenryu rams Shawn and Fatu’s heads together which only hurts Shawn of course. Luger and Bret put out Tenryu and it’s Bret vs. Shawn (duh). Luger goes for Fatu’s head and gets superkicked for being stupid.

The heels put Luger on the apron but he fights them both off and clotheslines Fatu into a 360. Bret dumps Fatu and Luger dumps Shawn and we’re down to two. They slug it out and Luger picks up Bret, but they both fall out at the same time, giving us a double elimination to end the Rumble.

Rating: C+. This is a hard one to grade. The pacing is TERRIBLE with guys like Sparky Plugg and Mo staying in for over twenty minutes each, but the action is solid for the most part. The stuff with Diesel is excellent and it truly made him a star. The ending stuff once they got rid of about seven guys in 90 seconds was good too, but stuff in the middle didn’t work all that well.

Post match there’s a disagreement over who wins but both guys have their music played. This would lead to a somewhat complicated decision where there was a coin toss and two world title matches at Mania. This goes on for about eight minutes or so but it’s just the referees arguing and both guys saying they won. Replays don’t really show us anything either. They do a good job here of making it impossible to tell who won, unlike in 2005 when it was clear that one of them (I want to say Cena) hit first. They’re finally declared co-winners to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show is one where it’s very hard to come up with an overall grade. I really liked the opener and the tag match and Rumble were both good, but when a show has what might be the dumbest moment in wrestling history (and that covers A LOT of stupid moments), it’s brought down a lot. Early 1994 was not a good time for the WWF but once they finally picked Bret as the guy, things got a lot better.

Ratings Comparison

Tatanka vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Original: B

Redo: C+

Quebecers vs. Bret Hart/Owen Hart

Original: A+

Redo: B-

Razor Ramon vs. IRS

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Yokozuna vs. Undertaker

Original: F

Redo: F

Royal Rumble

Original: B

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: C-

DANG I liked this show a lot better on the first viewing.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/13/royal-rumble-count-up-1994/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

WWF’s Hottest Matches
Host: Sean Mooney
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan, Sean Mooney, Lord Alfred Hayes

This is another Coliseum Video from the WWE Vault and of course I’m going to give it a shot. It’s one of those compilation tapes that was thrown together, often from dark matches with some commentary added. In other words, there is a grand total of no telling how good this might be. Let’s get to it.

Sean Mooney welcomes us to the show and gives us a quick rundown. This seems to be from late summer to fall 1990.

From Glens Falls, New York on April 4, 1990.

Rick Martel vs. Tito Santana

Apparently Heenan is wearing Arrogance and Monsoon isn’t a fan. What would a gorilla know about smelling nice? Santana takes Martel up to the ropes to start and messes with his hair a bit, which can’t be fair. Martel tries to go after him for a change and gets hiptossed, followed by some dropkicks to send Martel bailing to the floor, where it’s time for some jaw rubbing. Back in and Martel sends him face first into the buckle but misses a running knee. Santana starts in on the leg with some cannonballs down onto it, followed by some general cranking.

That’s broken up with some choking on the mat, which sets up some choking in the corner. Back up and Martel’s leg gives out on a leapfrog so Santana wraps it around the post (what a hero). The Figure Four is blocked, with commentary arguing (as only they can) about which leg Santana should be spinning.

Santana fights up and sends him face first into the buckle seven (not ten, but seven) times. Martel misses a middle rope spinning crossbody and the flying forearm sends him crashing out to the floor. The referee gets in Santana’s way so Santana shoves him down, meaning it’s a shot of Arrogance to the eyes to give Martel the pin at 9:40. Heenan to Monsoon: “YOU OWE ME DINNER!”

Rating: B. What is there to say here? Two talented wrestlers with a history had a good match, with the villain cheating to win. That’s always going to work and it was a perfectly fine story. This felt like a case where they were told to go do something and it went well, which shouldn’t be much of a surprise. The surprising part is that they never got a big blowoff, though it was scheduled for Summerslam 1990 until Martel got hurt.

We get a history of the WWF Tag Team Titles, starting with Demolition winning the titles from Strike Force at Wrestlemania IV, with Alfred Hayes talking about the aspects that come together to make a successful team. In short, they need to work well together. That’s the British analysis that makes wrestling seem so simple. Granted in this case Demolition cheated by using Mr. Fuji’s cane so it’s even more basic than it seems.

Then we move on to the Colossal Connection beating Demolition to win the titles at the end of 1989.

Then Demolition got the titles back at Wrestlemania VI. For some reason Hayes describes this as an “unprecedented” third reign, which is just wrong. Heck, their former manager Mr. Fuji was half of the first team to do it!

Then the Hart Foundation won the titles at Summerslam 1990. There is no mention of Crush being added to Demolition as he’s just kind of there now. That being said, the pop for the Harts winning the titles is one of the best ever and something I’ll still throw on for the sake of a smile.

So this whole thing was just a recap of the last two and a half years of the titles, with the Brainbusters’ title reign only being mentioned in passing.

From Toronto, Ontario, Canada on June 17, 1990.

Orient Express vs. Rockers

This should be good and Mr. Fuji is here with the Express. The Rockers start fast and send the Express into each other, setting up stereo hiptosses. The stereo dropkicks don’t happen though as Marty throws a right hand instead, though we’re probably lucky he remembered to put on his boots.

We settle down to Tanaka cheap shotting Michaels to start but Michaels twists on the arm to cut that off. Marty drops a splash on the arm before they trade leapfrogs, only for Marty to take him down by the arm again. Another cheap shot lets Sato come in off a non-existent tag and work on Marty’s arm for a change. Ever the good referee, Danny Davis won’t let Marty throw a punch, allowing Sato to pull him down by the hair and switch with Tanaka without a tag.

Back up and Marty manages to ram them into each other and then start in on Sato’s arm for a change. Michaels grabs a neckbreaker and, yes, works on the arm again. Marty comes in and gets kicked in the back of the head to take him down. A superkick sends Marty outside and of course Fuji is right there with a cane shot, like all bowler wearing managers should be. Back in and Sato kicks him in the head for two and Tanaka does the same for the same.

The chinlock goes on and despite Marty’s arm laying on the rope, the referee doesn’t break it up. This guy might not be very good at his job. The slow strikes set up another chinlock until Marty fights up for a sunset flip. Ever the good partner, Tanaka is right there for a save before even a one count. A clothesline finally gets Marty over for the tag and house is quickly cleaned. Everything breaks down and they fight to the floor, with only the Rockers beating the count back in at 12:08.

Rating: C+. Well it wasn’t great and they’re definitely capable of doing better, but these teams worked well together and that was the case again here. Even when they were doing something as basic as working the arm and a lot of chinlocks, they were moving around well enough to keep me interested. Not one of their best, but I’ll take it for a house show match.

And now, a fan favorite match!

From Niagara Falls, New York on June 27, 1989.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Greg Valentine

Dusty wins a shove off to start before Valentine works on the arm. An elbow to the head gives us the TIMBER fall from Valentine, who needs some help from Jimmy Hart on the floor. Back in and Rhodes strikes away with as much speed as you would expect, only to miss the big elbow. Valentine’s elbows to the head work rather well and we hit the chinlock. Back up and some more shots to the head wake Rhodes up, to the point where he scores with a dropkick.

Right hands and chops put Valentine down but Rhodes can’t get his terrible Figure Four. Valentine slowly hammers away and we hit the chinlock for a bit. Rhodes fights up again and, again, hammers away until he runs into a knee in the corner. Hart tries to go up top but referee Ronnie Garvin isn’t having that. Rhodes gets what can generously be described as a rollup for the pin at 10:07.

Rating: D. If this is a Fan Favorite match, I’d like to sign up for an Enemies Hate match as it has to be better. This was two guys slowly hitting each other and a bad looking cradle for the pin. I get that Rhodes was all about the talking, but you need to be able to do something in the ring to back it up and that just wasn’t the case here.

This month’s profile is on Jake Roberts, meaning we get another Hayes narrated intro.

From Binghamton, New York on June 6, 1990.

Jake Roberts vs. Akeem

Slick is here with Akeem as this is a rather tall match. Roberts works on the arm to start but gets shouldered down. The threat of a DDT sends Akeem outside (common result in Roberts matches) before Roberts gets back to the arm back inside. Akeem shrugs that off and powers him down again, with a running crotch attack to the back crushing Roberts. A missed charge into the corner…doesn’t do much damage to Akeem as he backdrops Roberts. Back up and Roberts hammers away but Slick breaks up another DDT attempt, only to get sent into Akeem for the DQ at 6:29.

Rating: C-. Well it was better than Rhodes and Valentine, if nothing else because Roberts can move around a bit faster. Akeem didn’t do much more here than the usual big man offense, but what else were you expecting from him? Slick helped here, if nothing else due to how amazing he looked in a green suit.

Post match Slick gets DDTed but Akeem cuts off the snake treatment.

Roberts talks about Ted DiBiase wanting the Million Dollar Title back and it just happens to be inside the snake bag. We see a bunch of snakes, including a rattlesnake and a cobra, who might be waiting in the bag with the title.

From Hamilton, Ontario, Canada on December 14, 1989.

Jake Roberts vs. Ted DiBiase

Virgil is here with DiBiase and they double team Roberts before and at the bell, as again the referee is just fine with all of this. Roberts clotheslines them both down and slugs away at DiBiase to take over fast. A DDT attempt sends DiBiase bailing to the floor and we slow down a bit.

Back in and DiBiase avoids another try at the DDT so we can stall some more. Virgil (whose hand is in a cast) offers a distraction which doesn’t work as Roberts sees DiBiase coming in and immediately stares at him. For the third time (we’re just over three minutes in), DiBiase bails outside to avoid the DDT. This time Roberts shoves the two of them together and chases Virgil, allowing DiBiase to get in an elbow to finally take over. DiBiase gets smart by going after the recently repaired neck with some elbows and knees to said neck.

The stalling in between has the fans rather angry, which shows you how much you can get out of actually working the crowd. The front facelock stays on the neck before DiBiase walks around a bit more. DiBiase grabs the facelock again and, after Roberts fights out, drops a middle rope ax handle to cut him off. Roberts manages a quick swinging neckbreaker and they’re both down. Back up and Roberts takes out Virgil before hitting the short arm clothesline. The DDT is loaded up but Virgil comes in for the DQ at 12:37.

Rating: C. Another slow match which would have been better with about five fewer minutes. These two should have had some great chemistry together but for some reason it just never clicked. That was the case again here and it really only kind of worked, with DiBiase taunting the crowd to some nice success but little more.

Post match the beatdown is on with DiBiase hitting Roberts with some money. Roberts fights up and drops Virgil before knocking DiBiase outside and chasing him away. The DDT lays out Virgil and we get the snake treatment.

From Fresno, California on August 9, 1989.

Brutus Beefcake vs. Haku

Bobby Heenan is here with Haku. After a minute and a half of stalling, Heenan offers a distraction so Haku can send Beefcake into the corner to start. The jumping knee and a running knee send Haku to the corner, where he bites the face to come back. Some choking has Heenan rather pleased and we hit the chinlock.

Haku chokes even more and rakes the eyes to cut off Beefcake’s weird double punches. A missed elbow lets Beefcake hit some slams and a backdrop…doesn’t exactly work and winds up as more of a flapjack. The sleeper goes on (the fans approve) but Heenan comes in for the DQ at 8:44.

Rating: C-. This was a weird one as the wrestling itself is really dull and generic (Haku was running out of ways to choke), not to mention this being the third straight match that ended with the manager coming in for the DQ. The thing is though the fans were entirely into this and wanted to see Beefcake win. It was a really basic match but the fans cared and that’s worth a lot of points.

Post match the beatdown is on but Beefcake grabs the clippers to chase them off.

We get a profile on Sensational Sherri, who does not like being called a manager. She takes care of Randy Savage’s kingdom wherever it goes, from getting him plane tickets to tasting his food so nothing happens to his perfect body. Sherri is more than a manager, because she is a woman who screeches to the top of her lungs. So there’s your profile!

From San Antonio, Texas on April 24, 1990.

Shawn Michaels vs. Ted DiBiase

Marty Jannetty and Virgil are here too. DiBiase snaps off some armdrags to start and Michaels seems to realize he might be in some trouble. Michaels grabs a headlock into some armdrags of his own, with DiBiase rolling outside as Michaels is rather pleased that it worked. Back in and a headlock takeover puts DiBiase down, where he grabs the tights for some rollups rather than just lay on the mat.

It works so well that they do the sequence again as they’re starting basic but keeping it moving. Michaels gets driven into the corner before charging into a boot, allowing DiBiase to drop the punches. Choking sets up the chinlock as commentary bickers about Virgil’s level of stoogery. DiBiase throws him outside, where Virgil gets in some slaps with money, which doesn’t seem sanitary.

Back in and a suplex gives DiBiase two and we’re right back to the chinlock (he likes that one). The falling middle rope elbow misses though and Michaels stars the comeback, with a clothesline and dropkick getting two. A high crossbody gives Michaels the same but Virgil’s trip has Marty giving chase. DiBiase throws him out like it’s the 1990 Royal Rumble but everyone brawls in the ring for a double DQ at 14:44.

Rating: C+. Oh come on with these DQ’s already. Let someone get a rollup or a fluke pin or ANYTHING other than someone coming in for the DQ. Michaels was still a tag wrestler at this point and losing to someone the caliber of DiBiase wasn’t going to hurt him. The match was good enough as you would expect but the ending was more annoying than anything else.

Post match the Rockers clean house without much trouble. The ring announcer calls it a double countout, with Monsoon losing it on commentary until it’s corrected to a double DQ.

We go to the gym for a workout with Power & Glory. They lift weights and brag about their muscles. A lot. Like quite a lot. Probably too much really. Of note: there are trees visible outside of the window. I wonder if this was filmed in Vince McMahon’s home gym.

From Huntington, West Virginia on June 26, 1990.

Randy Savage/Queen Sherri vs. Dusty Rhodes/Sapphire

Brother Love and Miss Elizabeth (the latter accompanied by Pat Patterson) are here too. We hit the stall button for a good while to start, with the men getting in an OH YEAH off. Savage holds back Love from a threatening Rhodes before the women officially get things started. Sherri’s kicks are caught and she misses a charge, with Sapphire throwing her down. Love offers a distraction so Savage can cheat a bit, earning himself an elbow from Rhodes.

Sherri’s dress comes up and Monsoon is VERY confused by what he sees. Savage bails out to the floor before coming back in and getting elbowed in the face. Love’s distraction lets Savage fight back, setting up the top rope ax handle. The sleeper keeps Rhodes down, with Sherri dropping to the apron and hammering on the mat, with even Heenan not being sure why she’s so anxious. Rhodes fights up and he punches Savage out of the air, only for Love to break it up again.

The running crotch attack misses for Savage so Rhodes goes after Love, earning himself a knee from Sherri. Love accidentally misses Sherri and they go back inside, with Rhodes grabbing his own sleeper. That’s broken up with Love hitting him with what looks like Sherri’s loaded purse. The double tag brings in the women, with Sapphire falling on Sherri for two. Everything breaks down and Savage knees Love off the apron by mistake. Sherri loads up the purse again but Elizabeth takes it away and knocks Sherri cold to give Sapphire the pin at 10:27.

Rating: B. This was an absolute blast with nothing resembling a serious match. They just had a good time with everyone doing their thing and Sherri and Love being little more than slapstick villains. Sherri did her thing and the shot at the end was great. It was terrible from a wrestling perspective but egads I had a great time with this one.

The winners leave and Sherri DOES NOT MOVE in a funny bit. She finally staggers out, stealing the show as usual.

Sean Mooney’s papers catch on fire (the running gag for the show is that the studio keeps getting hotter, which wasn’t mentioned due to reasons of stupidity) and he can’t figure out the fire extinguisher to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The opener was good and the last match helped, but dang this was a rough sit at times. There was that way too long string of disqualifications and the Tag Team Title thing felt like a waste of time. That being said, I can only get so mad at a Coliseum Video with two rather good matches, even if almost everything else in the middle was pretty much nothing. This wasn’t a good time for the company and that was on display here. If you need a sign of that, note that the Ultimate Warrior, the WWF Champion at this time, is nowhere to be found. That can’t be a good sign and this wasn’t an overly good tape.

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Invasion of the Bodyslammers
Hosts: Lord Alfred Hayes, Slick
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Jim Ross, Randy Savage

So this is a Coliseum Video which I had as a kid and watched over and over, making this something of a nice flashback for me. It’s something that was uploaded to the WWE Vault and that means I have a reason to watch it all over gain. Granted I didn’t say it was good, so keep that in mind. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence, featuring highlights that put us in mid 1993.

Lord Alfred Hayes and Slick welcome us…from the bowling alley, because it’s time to teach Kamala how to bowl. Slick says he has bowled 27 perfect games and it’s time to teach Kamala how to do that today. First up, he needs shoes. We’ll work on that during the first match.

From January 25, 1993 in San Jose, California.

Earthquake vs. Yokozuna

Mr. Fuji is here with Yokozuna. After nearly a minute and a half of getting ready and posing, they shove each other a bit as this is taking its time. Some kicks to the ribs stagger Yokozuna but a running shoulder doesn’t do much for Earthquake. Three clotheslines put Yokozuna down to one knee but a running shoulder drops Earthquake, setting up the running legdrop. Back up and Fuji offers a distraction, allowing Yokozuna to hit a corner splash. The Banzai Drop finishes Earthquake off at 3:43.

Rating: D. This was nothing, with almost half of the match being spent staring at each other before they started making contact. The action, and I use that term loosely, was about two minutes long and it didn’t work. They’re both capable of so much more and it was just nothing to see, which is rather disappointing.

From December 14, 1992 in Green Bay, Wisconsin.

Nasty Boys vs. Beverly Brothers

Beau punches Sags in the face to start but Sags is back with a faceplant to Blake. This lets Heenan go on an amusing bit about which Beverly is which, where he eliminates the Nastys and the referee before saying that the one in the purple is a Beverly. Ross: “And what might his first name be?” Heenan: “Mr.” Knobbs comes in and picks up the pace, including a faceplant, only for Beau to hit one of his own (this is already repetitive and we’re barely three minutes in).

Blake clotheslines Knobbs down but misses a middle rope splash. What looked like a low blow cuts Knobbs down again but he comes back with a hair takedown (so a reverse faceplant). That’s enough to bring Sags back in for the house cleaning, including a double faceplant (oh come on). The brawling is on and the referee gets shoved for the double DQ at 6:47.

Rating: D. This match was 80% punching and faceplanting before a double DQ on a Coliseum Video. Why in the world would you think that was the right way to go? You really can’t have the Beverly Brothers do a job here? Another bad match as this tape is off to a pretty terrible start.

Back at the alley, Kamala won’t wear shoes, but Hayes has a customized bowling ball, complete with the same kind of paint that covers Kamala’s stomach and chest.

From November 24, 1992 in Dayton, Ohio.

Undertaker vs. Razor Ramon

Heenan spends Ramon’s entrance mocking the idea of Ross being a bowling fan. Ramon goes to the floor to start and hammers away back inside to limited success. Undertaker strikes away and hits Old School, with Ross doing a great job of selling how impressive it is. A clothesline puts Undertaker on the floor but Ramon is back with a Stunner over the ropes to stagger Ramon.

Undertaker gets crotched on the to and as Heenan isn’t sure if Undertaker is an athlete or a monster. Savage: “An athletic monster.” Some elbow drops have Undertaker in trouble and an Urn shot rocks him again. Undertaker pops up with the chokeslam and that’s enough for Ramon, who takes the countout at 5:03.

Rating: C-. Match of the tape so far and at least I get why they didn’t want Ramon to take a fall. Undertaker was rapidly becoming a big deal around this point and it’s easy to see why he got to beat up Ramon and send him running here. That being said, can we please get a good match already? This is getting to be a bit much.

From January 5, 1993 in San Antonio, Texas.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Typhoon

Is this tape mad at me? Do I owe it money or something? Typhoon powers out of a waistlock to start before catching a crossbody (geez) in a World’s Strongest Slam. Back up and Typhoon hammers away but gets sent face first into the buckle. Bigelow grabs a front facelock and Typhoon can’t suplex his way to freedom. Instead Bigelow gets in a suplex of his own and we hit the chinlock. Typhoon fights up and Bigelow can’t hold him up for a slam. A corner splash sets up…not the running splash, as Typhoon lets him get back up. Another splash in the corner misses and Bigelow drops the top rope headbutt for the win at 7:28.

Rating: C-. What were you expecting from these two? There is only so much you can get out of a match where the two of them aren’t able to do much and that was on display here. Typhoon was just ok on his best day and that wasn’t the case in this match. I know the WWF loved its battles of the monsters but that rarely worked, which was on full display with this one.

Slick bowls a strike but Kamala is looking at his bowling ball. Therefore, let’s go to the Repo Cam. Alfred isn’t here, presumably having been eaten by Kamala.

We go to a home movie being invaded by the Repo Man, who tells the man filming that he can keep the camera if he follows Repo Man around for the day. First up, Repo Man takes a Cadillac, because what’s his is his and what’s everybody else’s is his too. Next up, Repo Man takes a kid’s bike because the kid’s dad owes him money.

Now it’s time to go into a video store (oh how I miss those), where the clerk insists that they make all of their payments. She can keep the store for a week if she plays the Repo Man’s Greatest Hits, which Repo Man of course carries with him. The tape (within the special) shows Repo Man kicking in a car window to take it back due to the person being a day late on his payments.

Then he breaks into a garage and takes a woman’s car for being three days late. The woman comes into the garage and screams so he tells her to pay up or shut up. Back at the video store, Repo Man makes sure to get his tape back…then runs off with the video camera. This was the kind of insanity I love from Coliseum Videos, as it felt like Repo Man was told to go do something and they put it on the tape. I like that kind of thing, just for the sake of building up a guy who doesn’t get much attention. You instantly get what you’re supposed to know about him and it made for a short, stupid, yet still entertaining segment.

From April 29, 1992 in Syracuse, New York.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Bret Hart

Hart is defending and Sensational Sherri is here with Michaels as this is the best sounding thing in a good while after the last forty five minutes. Michaels snaps off an armdrag to start with even Heenan thinking Michaels needs to follow up faster. A pull of the hair brings Hart down into an armbar but he flips up and sends Michaels outside. Back in and Hart starts in on the arm for a change before dropping him with a clothesline for two.

Michaels comes back with a knee to the ribs and stomps away, setting up a running crotch attack against the ropes. The chinlock goes on and Michaels uses the hair to pull Hart back down. Back up and Michaels charges into a boot in the corner, allowing Hart to hit a middle rope clothesline. The middle rope elbow gets two, with Sherri panicking at the near fall. They both crash out to the floor and Sherri grabs the leg, allowing Michaels to knock hart into the barricade for the countout at 8:49.

Rating: C+. Even a not so great Bret vs. Shawn match is still Bret vs. Shawn and it’s by far the best thing in the first hour of this pretty dreadful tape. The two of them could have a decent match together in their sleep and they did well enough here without much time. In this case the countout was fine as it keeps Shawn strong, but dang I could have gone for some more from these two.

Post match Sherri is shocked that it’s not a title change. Shawn is less stunned but decks the referee instead. Ever the fan of law and order, Bret beats Shawn up for going after the referee.

Slick demonstrates bowling form and hits a strike, but Kamala is still looking at the ball. Alfred (hey he wasn’t eaten) suggests a new ball, but Kamala doesn’t want to give up the old one. Instead, he can have a match.

From February 16, 1993 in San Diego, California.

Kamala vs. Doink The Clown

Kamala has Slick with him while Doink has a big gift box. Doink teases Kamala with said box as Heenan suggests cutting off Kamala’s head, shave his beard, put a finger in each ear and throw him down the alley for a great bowling ball. With that disturbing image in my head (fingers in ears are not sanitary), Kamala goes after the arm but gets caught in an armbar to take him down. That’s broken up and Kamala hits something like a superkick. A bunch of chops connect and they go outside for the chase. Doink cuts him off with the box though…and Kamala gets counted out at 3:21.

Rating: D+. This is beyond ridiculous as it almost feels like the tape is trolling us at this point. The match was barely anything more than a way to set up the ending, which might make sense but isn’t much to see after everything else that has been on this mess. In theory, someone would have thought “hey, maybe we should have a good match on here” at some point, but that hasn’t really happened yet. Just more lame stuff, even though evil Doink is always kind of fun.

Post match, there’s nothing in the box. Heenan: “I’m so sorry, I’m dumb.” Kamala beats Doink up and chases him off.

From December 14, 1992 in Green Bay, Wisconsin.

Undertaker vs. Papa Shango

Paul Bearer is here with Undertaker, as is customary. Shango grabs him by the throat for a drive into the corner, only for Undertaker to do the same thing. Well to Shango that is. Old School takes Shango down but he avoids an elbow and clotheslines Undertaker out to the floor. The Stunner over the top gets Undertaker out of trouble but Shango grabs his voodoo stick to blast Undertaker with some pyro.

Undertaker staggers around and a chair to the back makes it worse. Shango sends him into the steps and they go back inside where Undertaker pops up off some slams. A boot to the head and some elbows (as Ramon did to him an hour ago) keep undertaker in trouble but he comes back with the jumping clothesline. The chokeslam finishes Shango at 6:26.

Rating: C. This didn’t have much time either but in this case that might be the best possible outcome. Shango didn’t have much other than trying to blow up Undertaker’s face (wrestling is weird) and there is only so much of a reason to believe that he was a threat to Shango. Undertaker was still a monster here and in theory this would be a big match but after seeing this, not so much.

Slick tries to convince Kamala to roll the ball down the alley…but he runs down the alley instead.

From February 1, 1993 in New York City, New York.

Battle Royal

Owen Hart, Koko B. Ware, Kamala, Kim Chee, Shawn Michaels, Iron Mike Sharpe, Bob Backlund, Typhoon, Razor Ramon, Damien Demento, Berzerker, Terry Taylor, Skinner, Tito Santana, Tatanka

This is from a Raw taping, which is weird to see on a tape like this one. The general brawling starts us off as we hear about Andre The Giant being great at these things, mainly because he passed away about a week earlier. Sharpe is out without being mentioned as Heenan is impressed by Ware and Hart’s pants. Ware’s pants go flying over the top for an elimination, leaving commentary to wonder if Tatanka can lose without having his undefeated streak broken.

Things slow down despite not going fast in the first place, with no one really close to an elimination. Hart can’t get rid of Michaels and for some reason Skinner stops to dance, allowing Typhoon to knock him out. Demento is out and Hart follows him, with Berzerker kicking Santana low in something you didn’t often see at this point. Berzerker is tossed out without much trouble and Kamala is sent out with a bit more trouble. Hold on though as Kamala goes back in to toss Chee out and then chases him into the crowd.

We’re down to seven and cut to Kamala chasing Chee through the balcony in a cool shot. As we come back, Taylor and Backlund are both out and Michaels gets rid of Typhoon. That leaves us with Michaels, Ramon, Santana and Tatanka as something of a tag match (and a good one at that) breaks out. Michaels hammers on Tatanka in the corner as Ramon might have kneed Santana low. Santana is back up with the running forearm, leaving the good guys to beat up Michaels.

A double kick in the corner gets rid of Michaels….and here is Giant Gonzalez to go after everyone else. Gonzalez tosses out Tatanka and Santana is out as well. Since Ramon is the only one left, he wins at around 13:30. This means Heenan’s pick wins, sending Savage into a fit of hysterics (Savage: “YOU GOTTA BE RIBBING!” I still use that line in my day to day life thirty plus years later.”)

Rating: D+. Pretty lame battle royal here with a bunch of standing around and not doing much until the ending. It’s really just a bunch of midcarders in one big match and that is only going to get you so far. It was long, bring and had a screwy ending so it was only going to be so good. Also, they kept saying it was a sixteen man match but I’ve never gotten past fifteen.

From October 26, 1992 in Springfield, Illinois.

Tatanka vs. Repo Man

Tatanka grabs a lockup to start and powers him into the corner before they switch places. Repo Man actually gives a clean break (commentary is stunned too) and it’s a pair of dropkicks to put him own as a result. The threat of a chop sends Repo out to the apron as Heenan talks about how many cars Repo can get into in ten seconds.

Back up and a not very smooth crossbody sets up an armbar on Repo, allowing Heenan to explain why Repo is screaming “HE’S BREAKING IT”! Heenan actually goes into a deal about how you’re trying to get the referee to check the hold to get a break, which is rather in-depth. A sunset flip doesn’t work for Tatanka but neither does Repo’s counter.

As commentary talks about paying off the bet from the battle royal (Heenan: “Just give me $200 each we’ll call it even.” Savage: “Ok no problem. I’ve got a lot of Confederate money laying around.”), Tatanka misses a crossbody and gets caught in an armbar. Tatanka fights up and chops away but for some reason stays down after hitting a big one. Repo goes up and gets punched out of the air, setting up even more chops. A top rope chop gets two and the End Of The Trail finishes for Tatanka at 7:43.

Rating: D+. They weren’t clicking out there and it made for a not very goo match. I’m not sure what was going on but for some reason it was like they kept having to restart. This isn’t exactly a match that needed to be all that complicated but for some reason it felt like they were on rather different pages.

Kamala, holding a ball in both hands, wiggles his hips a bit…and the ball goes backwards.

From January 4, 1993 in Beaumont, Texas.

Mr. Perfect vs. Ric Flair

Perfect shoves him down a few times to start and mocks the Flair hair rub. Flair loses an exchange of slaps and Perfect drops him without much trouble. A wrestle off goes to Perfect, who slaps Flair in the face again as this is one sided so far. Back up and Flair chops and punches away in the corner, naturally setting up a heck of a bump back out of said corner. Perfect gets in a backdrop and a clotheslines puts Flair out on the floor.

Back in and Flair goes to the eyes to take over so a knee drop can get two. Commentary bickers about whether or not Flair losing to Bret Hart in Canada should count as Perfect makes the comeback. A slam off the top gives Perfect two but he misses an elbow, meaning it’s time for Flair to go after the leg. The Figure Four goes on and naturally Flair grabs the rope (JR: “It’s illegal!” Heenan: “No, illegal is a sick bird!”).

Perfect rolls over and gets caught in the corner, where Flair can strike away again. Some chops get Perfect out of trouble and he slugs away on one leg. The leg is good enough for a backdrop and Perfect whips him over the corner. Back in and a quick PerfectPlex gives Perfect the clean win at 10:49.

Rating: B. Oh of course these two were going to have a good match. They know each other really well and Perfect was more than capable of hanging with Flair at his best. The leg injury worked well with Perfect having to fight his way back up and it was easy to get into what they were doing. Rather nice way to wrap things up here, and it’s nice to have a clean ending to a hard worked match.

Slick and Alfred liked the tape (their opinions are officially revoked) but they’re disappointed they didn’t teach Kamala to bowl. Then Kamala bowls a strike and the hosts are stunned (ok points for a funny visual). Slick celebrates with Kamala to finish things off.

Overall Rating: D+. This tape really is just known as “that tape where Slick teaches Kamala to bowl”. Other than that you have a bunch of nothing matches, with Perfect vs. Flair being the only good one, along with a Bret vs. Shawn match which has been done better. The Repo Man stuff was kind of funny but the one joke gets old quick. Just a weak tape here from a bad period in the company’s history.

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Saturday Night’s Main Event #18
Date: November 26, 1988
Location; ARCO Arena, Sacramento, California
Attendance: 15,900
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura

The Vault strikes again with a look back at a classic Saturday Night’s Main Event before the big revival this weekend. We’re just past Survivor Series and that means Randy Savage is still the WWF Champion with a title defense against Andre The Giant. Odds are Hulk Hogan will be doing something as well so let’s get to it.

The Ultimate Warrior says this is a time of thanks…but not when Mr. Fuji’s Super Ninja is coming after his Intercontinental Title!

Bobby Heenan is ready for Andre The Giant to get the WWF Title back.

Randy Savage, with Elizabeth, knows that Andre is the greatest threat to his title but it’s going to be David vs. Goliath again.

Ted DiBiase, with the shirt on but no jacket for a weird look, is all about buying and selling. He bought Hercules and now he’s going to collect.

Hulk Hogan doesn’t like Brother Love setting him up for a beating from the Big Boss Man. Tonight, he’ll talk to Brother Love but it might not go well.

Dig that opening sequence.

Jesse insists that he get top billing over Vince because they’re close to Hollywood.

Mr. Fuji promises that the Super Ninja has been trained in the seven arts on seven continues. Naturally we get a Pearl Harbor reference as well, which kind of negates the whole surprise aspect.

Ultimate Warrior has seen battles beyond Gene Okerlund’s imagination and is ready to win again.

Intercontinental Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Super Ninja

The Ninja (as played by Rip Oliver) is challenging and has Mr. Fuji in his corner. Ninja slugs away to start and is shoved down in a hurry, setting up a leapfrog into a big boot. With those two new moves added to Warrior’s arsenal, he throws Ninja back inside, elbows him in the face, and hits the gorilla press into the Warrior Splash to retain at 2:10. That was a fun squash with the Ninja being all hyped up and then being absolutely nothing.

We recap Bobby Heenan selling Hercules to Ted DiBiase, who called Hercules a “slave”. Believe it or not, this didn’t go well.

Jesse Ventura talks to Ted DiBiase (with Virgil) and says this is pretty cut and dry: DiBiase should own Hercules! DiBiase agrees because Hercules is his slave to do with as he sees fit. Jesse: “Why don’t you step into the ring with Hercules and show that slave once and for all who the master is?” DiBiase: “That’s for people like Virgil to do!”

Hercules is ready to beat Virgil because he’s a free man. He wears these chains freely!

Hercules vs. Virgil

Virgil and DiBiase jump Hercules before the bell but he clears the ring and chases DiBiase around a bit. Back in and an elbow drops Virgil before DiBiase’s distraction completely fails. Virgil’s right hands don’t do anything either and Hercules drops him again. A running powerslam finishes Virgil off at 3:24.

Rating: C. Total destruction here and that’s what it should have been. Hercules gets to show what he can do while being just a step away from DiBiase himself. To say the subject matter of this story was a bit rough is an understatement, but at least Hercules is looking good in the early stages.

Post match Hercules throws Virgil onto DiBiase before spinning his chain around.

We look back at Jake Roberts scaring Andre the Giant with Damian and possibly giving Andre a heart attack.

Andre and Bobby Heenan are ready to get the WWF Title back because Randy Savage is going to run into a giant wall.

Randy Savage, with Elizabeth, has to beat Andre to prove he is a great champion, just like Hulk Hogan.

WWF Title: Andre The Giant vs. Randy Savage

Savage, with Elizabeth, is defending. Andre wins a strike off to start and crushes him in the corner without much trouble. A knee to the back finally slows Andre down but a Heenan distraction lets Andre choke with the strap, as is his custom. For some reason Savage tries a slam, which is cut off as quickly as expected. Andre chokes, this time with his hand, which might be worse, but Savage gets in a jawbreaker.

Savage sends him into the buckle and hits a middle rope ax handle to knock Andre down (which Jesse declares as Savage “wrestling smart”). Cue Jake Roberts to put Damian underneath the ring and we get a quick chat with Roberts. We take a break and (after Hulk Hogan promises to see Brother Love) come back with Andre knocking him down, only for Savage to go after him again. Andre gets smart by sitting on him as Heenan finds Damian…but gets cut off by Roberts. Heenan runs inside and that’s a DQ at 8:51.

Rating: C. Savage fighting through everything he could but ultimately being outmatched makes sense and they had a nice enough match. At the end of the day, almost no one can hang in there with Andre one on one so this went as well as it could. Having Roberts come in there was a fine way to get out of the match and it was a perfectly acceptable showdown, especially as it didn’t go on that long.

Post match Savage whips Heenan into Andre to tie him in the ropes. Damian is pulled out but Andre escapes and lumbers off.

Jim Duggan says the American flag should be the only flag raised in this country, including Dino Bravo and Boris Zhukov’s flags.

Jim Duggan vs. Boris Zhukov

The winner gets their flag raised. Duggan slugs away to start and hits an atomic drop out to the floor. Back in and Zhukov manages a few shots but Duggan drops him with a clotheslines. The three point clothesline finishes Zhukov in a hurry at 2:25. That’s all the match needed to be and an 80s crow will always go for the patriotic stuff.

The American flag is presented in a stretch that almost takes longer than the match.

We look at the Big Boss Man attacking Hulk Hogan on the Brother Love Show.

It’s time for another Brother Love Show with a REAL AMERICAN guest in the form of…Boss Man’s manager Slick. We cut to Hulk Hogan in the back and he really isn’t pleased. Love praises Slick and here is Hogan to interrupt. Love asks Hogan about the beating Boss Man gave him and pulls the microphone away before he can answer. He does it again, but lets Slick talk about how bad Hogan was beaten up.

Hogan takes the mic and threatens violence from one of the Hulkamaniacs. As for Love, Hogan is ready to be the judge who passes execution on him (Hogan LOVED that line and used it probably four times on Saturday Night’s Main Event alone). Hogan has finally had enough of the back talk and sends slick flying before handcuffing Love to the ropes and giving him a running clothesline to the floor (geez that could have wrenched Love’s shoulder). Posing ensues.

The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers are officially living in America, with Jimmy Hart being rather proud that they have moved to Memphis, Tennessee.

Fabulous Rougeau Brothers vs. Young Stallions

Jacques shoulders Powers down to start and hits a quick dropkick. Powers reverses a whip into the corner though and hammers away, only for Raymond to come in and take over. A neckbreaker gives Jacques two as commentary talks about anything else. Powers fights up and brings in Roma to clean house, with a powerslam planting Jacques. A missile dropkick gets two on Jacques but the referee has to get rid of Powers. That means a rake to the eyes sets up Le Bombe de Rougeau to finish Roma at 3:05.

Rating: C-. This was the standard “we have no time so here’s a match to fill in the bit of the show we have left”. That doesn’t make for the most thrilling match, even though these teams could have a good match if they were given the chance. If nothing else, the Rougeaus’ finisher was always cool so this could have been worse.

Andre the Giant swears vengeance on Jake Roberts. And he is NOT afraid.

Jake Roberts says a snake can feel the fear and he and Damian will not stop until they have consumed a giant.

Hulk Hogan does his judge, jury and executioner thing again, promising to take out Slick and the Big Boss Man.

Vince and Jesse wrap it up.

Credits roll.

Overall Rating: C. It’s not a great show but it was a nice flashback to the older days. Savage vs. Andre is a match you don’t get to see very often, which might be a good thing given how the match was only so good. It was nice to see the focus on someone other than Hogan for once, though the results were only so successful. This probably isn’t worth another look as there are better editions of the show, but I’ve seen worse.

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Survivor Series Showdown 1993
Date: November 21, 1993
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan, Jim Ross, Gorilla Monsoon

So this is a special that was more or less a big buildup to Survivor Series, which will include some singles matches before the team versions at the pay per view. In other words, expect a healthy dose of Bret Hart and Lex Luger, which could be rather hit or miss. It’s not the best time for the WWF but maybe it can work. Let’s get to it.

Sidenote: I have no idea why Bret has the title in the image. That’s just inaccurate.

We open with a look back at Superstars, with Bret Hart having to fight off Yokozuna, setting up a WWF Title match.

We’re in two different locations (read as it was taped on two nights) and we actually hear from two sets of commentary teams. That’s more than you usually get out of the WWF.

Bastion Booger vs. Doink The Clown

Bastion brings out some leftover pizza, because he’s huge you see. Before the match, Booger teases stealing Doink’s scooter but falls down for the opening bell. Back in and Booger grabs him by the sleeve, which extends rather far. Bastion powers him into the corner to start but misses a charge and gets tripped out to the floor. Doink makes the mistake of following him and gets splashed up against the post.

Back in and Bastion elbows him in the face, setting up the reverse chinlock. Some shoulders in the corner have Doink in more trouble as commentary talks about the Boston Celtics. A clothesline gives Bastion two….but he lets go when Doink taps him on the shoulder. The distracted Bastion gets rolled up for the pin at 7:38.

Rating: D. Oh no this didn’t work, as it was really slow paced and then had a bunch of stupid comedy moments, including the rollup pin. There was only so much that Doink could do with someone of Bastion’s size, which is one of the reasons Bastion didn’t work. Rather horrible match here, and that shouldn’t be a big surprise.

Post match Doink puts hot sauce on Bastion’s pizza to make things worse.

We look back at Ludvig Borga pinning an unconscious Tatanka for his first ever loss.

Here are the All Americans (Lex Luger, the Steiner Brothers and the Undertaker) for a chat. Tatanka is out but so is Quebecer Pierre, who is being replaced by Crush. Luger says the match has already begun and the Foreign Fanatics will be officially eliminated on Wednesday (yeah pay per views were occasionally on week nights). The Undertaker promises to eliminate all of the foreigners, because that’s kind of his thing.

Todd Pettengill explains how to order pay per view. Yes this used to be a thing and yes it could be complicated enough to need something like this.

We look back at Crush attacking Randy Savage, allowing Yokozuna to crush his ribs. Savage swore revenge and lost his broadcasting job as a result.

Crush vs. Virgil

Crush, with Mr. Fuji, wastes no time in headbutting him down. Some more kicks put Virgil down as Vince talks about the individuality of the Foreign Fanatics. Virgil manages to fight up and knock Crush out to the floor but Crush kicks him in the face. Crush drops him again and fires off some shoulders in the corner, followed by another kick down. Back up and Virgil manages some shots of his own and a middle rope clothesline puts Crush down. Virgil’s big dive is pulled out of the air and Crush plants him again. The head vice finishes Virgil off at 7:57.

Rating: C-. Well, it was better than the opener, though that’s not much of a bar to clear. It was mostly an extended squash as there was no reason to believe that Virgil was going to do anything around this time. Crush was a nice midcard villain, but you’re only going to get so far with a match this long against Virgil.

The two commentary teams bicker a bit.

We look at Razor Ramon defeating Rick Martel on Superstars thanks to some botched interference from Harvey Wippleman. Martel’s Survivor Series team almost came to blows as a result.

Shawn Michaels and Reo Rodgers (Bruce Prichard doing a really bad Dusty Rhodes impression) go to the Hart House (or a close replica) and meet Helen (or a close replica). There is a big poster of Bret on the wall, with a much smaller picture of Owen next to it (screw the rest of the kids). Then they mess with Stu, which is so bad that Vince just says we’re done.

IRS vs. Marty Jannetty

IRS knocks him down to start and then does it again, making sure to fix the tie both times. A hiptoss into a dropkick sends IRS outside as we hear about his college wrestling background. Back in and Marty works on the arm as commentary previews the Survivor Series match these two have coming up, which is kind of the entire point of the show. IRS goes to the ropes to escape an armbar before getting taken down by a rope walk headlock takeover back inside.

That’s broken up and IRS sends him flying outside, with Marty coming up favoring his knee. A ram into the steps bangs Marty up even worse and we hit the chinlock. Monsoon threatens us with this kind of action times four at Survivor Series before complaining about Danny Davis’ not so great refereeing job of checking for a choke. The abdominal stretch goes on and of course Monsoon isn’t happy, with even JR getting on him a bit for being so technical. Marty fights out and hits a running knee into a jumping back elbow, only for IRS to hit the Write Off (a clothesline, because that was his finishing move) and the win at 12:35.

Rating: C. IRS is a good example of someone who is technically skilled but so dull in the ring most of the time that it’s hard to care. Jannetty was good at making the comebacks and he was trying here, but that’s a lot of chinlocks and abdominal stretching. Even Monsoon’s complaining about technical stuff couldn’t make this one overly interesting.

IRS’ suspenders are broken so thank goodness they went home when they did.

Here are the Foreign Fanatics for a chat. Jim Cornette brags about getting rid of “Tatanto” and then the All Americans came back with a foreign fanatics to get rid of Pierre. That’s why the Foreign Fanatics has brought Crush onto the team. It’s time for revenge, with Johnny Polo promising pain, agony and suffering. He even blows up a brown paper bag and pops it as a preview for what is going to happen t Lex Luger’s head. Ludvig Borga and Crush promise pain, before Cornette says he’s following the American tradition of joining the winning team.

The Survivor Series Report recaps various changes to the lineup and we run down the card. The one match that gets a recap is the Four Doinks against Bam Bam Bigelow’s team, a match that was so bad that I stopped watching halfway through at one point.

WWF Title: Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

Hart is challenging and slugs away to start, even managing to knock Yokozuna to the floor. This lets Bobby Heenan tease a reveal of Shawn Michaels’ Knights but he’s sworn to secrecy. Back in and Yokozuna runs him over with a clothesline to slow things down a bit, including a big headbutt to drop Hart again. Hart is sent to the floor and we take a break, coming back with Yokozuna grabbing a nerve hold to keep things slow.

The comeback doesn’t work in the slightest as Hart bounces off Yokozuna and gets sent outside, where he manages to send Yokozuna into the steps. That doesn’t work in the slightest as Mr. Fuji distracts the referee and a chair shot rocks Hart again. We take another break and come back with Yokozuna dropping the big leg, with Vince more or less saying it’s done. The running splash misses in the corner though and a trio of clotheslines gives Hart two. Fuji’s interference doesn’t work and Hart bites his way out of a bearhug.

The middle rope bulldog gets two as the fans are getting into this one. There’s the middle rope elbow for two more but Yokozuna grabs a belly to belly. The big splash takes too long and Hart gets away, somehow getting the Sharpshooter. Cue Owen Hart, allegedly for the celebration but slapping hands with the fans like a schnook. The referee goes to yell at him, allowing Fuji to hit Bret with the salt bucket. Owen comes in and hits Yokozuna with it for the DQ at 22:50.

Rating: B-. Leave it to Bret to be able to figure out something to do with a monster like Yokozuna and make it work. Unfortunately, also leave it to 1993 WWF to have that dumb of a finish. Owen looked like a moron here and Bret would be entirely justified to yell at him for costing him the title. There is only so much that can be done with someone Yokozuna’s size but Bret got a good match out of it, certainly better than their Wrestlemania match earlier in the year.

Naturally Vince is STUNNED that Bret is disqualified.

All four commentators talks about the Survivor Series, with Monsoon doing a nice pitch of the idea. Then he threatens Heenan, as is his custom.

Men On A Mission and Oscar come out for a Survivor Series rap. Vince: “Get down! Come on Bobby, get down!”

Overall Rating: D+. Oh this was boring and there’s no way around it. The whole thing is a big commercial for Survivor Series and after watching this, I definitely do not want to see it again. The main event was by far the best thing about the show and even that was only so good. Everything else was a bunch of talking and not very good wrestling, with a boring Jannetty vs. IRS match as the second strongest part. Big skip on this one, unless you want to see Bret vs. Yokozuna again for some reason.

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Randy Savage Mixtape
Date: November 15, 2024
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bruno Sammartino, Tony Schiavone, Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan, Eric Bischoff, Steve McMichael, Larry Zbyszko

All hail the WWE Vault channel. So this is something unique as it’s a three hour mash up of matches, promos and various things from throughout Savage’s career. There is going to be some fascinating stuff in here to go with some classics and that should make for a very interesting watch. If nothing else, it’s always nice to see something from one of the best ever. Let’s get to it.

We open with an undated Randy Savage promo talking about how he’s been turning around a lot lately, so of course he turns around as he talks. Honky Tonk Man hasn’t been speaking very highly about Savage lately (putting this around 1987) and while he can’t sing or dance, he can make romance. If Elizabeth is going right, he’s going left. OH YEAH. As usual, I have no idea what he was talking about but it made sense.

We go to what looks like an empty building where Savage, billed as the World Heavyweight Champion, meaning we’re in the ICW out of Lexington, Kentucky, is beating up what I’d assume is a job guy. The middle rope elbow (more like a regular elbow drop without a jump as it was a work in progress) connects and Savage goes to the floor. Savage talks about WKYT Channel 27 (that’s the Lexington CBS station) is going to love him. It had no audience but you could absolutely feel the charisma dripping from him and he had to wind up on the big stage sooner than later.

Here’s something a bit more familiar. From Wrestlemania VIII.

WWF Title: Randy Savage vs. Ric Flair

Flair, with Mr. Perfect, is defending. This is the co-main event of the show, with Savage coming after the title and revenge for Flair suggesting that he had a relationship with Elizabeth back in the day, sending Savage even more out of his mind. Savage jumps him on the floor to start fast with Perfect having to make a save. They get inside with Savage hitting a clothesline and hammering away in the corner as Heenan is going nuts on commentary. Flair gets in a backdrop to send Savage outside (in a great bump) and a ram into the apron makes it worse.

A delayed suplex gives Flair two and a belly to back gets the same as Heenan wants to see the alleged centerfolds of Elizabeth, as promised by Flair. The knee drop connects as Gorilla isn’t having any of Heenan’s chattering. Another suplex drops Savage and Flair stomps away as the slow pace continues. Savage tries to punch his way out of the corner and the fans go nuts, setting up a neckbreaker for a double down.

Heenan needs a drink as Flair goes to the top, only to get slammed down (with Savage on the bottom rope). Flair gets flipped in the corner and goes up, with Savage clotheslining him out of the floor. A clothesline puts Flair on the floor and Savage ax handles him into the barricade, with Flair clearly blading and getting in a good bit of trouble as a result.

The bloody head is sent into various metal objects and there’s a Flair Flop. Savage suplexes him on the floor as Heenan is BEGGING for the match to be stopped. Back in and a top rope ax handle sets up the big elbow but Perfect breaks up the count. The referee lets it go and gets bumped as Savage goes after Perfect, who throws Flair an object. A big right hand gives Flair two and Perfect gets in a chair shot to the knee.

That gives Flair a target but here is Elizabeth at ringside (with a bunch of people, including a young Shane McMahon, failing to stop her). Flair gets the Figure Four, with Perfect assisting, and the referee breaking it up when Savage turns it over. Flair chops away and says this one is for Elizabeth, but Savage gets in a right hand and rolls Flair up (with trunks) to get the title back at 18:02, sending Heenan into hysterics.

Rating: B+. Yeah it’s still great, with the fans absolutely going nuts at every single thing in the match. You don’t see that kind of heat ever and it was carrying an already good match that much higher. The place came unglued when Savage won and it’s still a pretty awesome feel good moment. This was one of the last true high points for Savage in the WWF but he could more than still go, which makes his move to commentary all the more ridiculous. Anyway, awesome match even after I’ve probably seen it a hundred times.

Post match Flair goes after Elizabeth so she slaps him, sending Savage right back into the frenzy. Perfect gets back in as well and the beating is on (with blood on the back of one of the agents’ suits for a slightly disturbing visual). Flair and Perfect are sent to the floor and Fink gets to announce Savage as ONCE AGAIN the WWF Champion (no NEEEEEWWWWW but good enough). Pyro goes off and dang this would have made a great Night One main event if that was a thing back in the day.

And now, a Randy Savage music video, talking about how Savage gets the party jumping, looking (and feeling) probably from around 1993.

From WCW Worldwide, January 31, 1998.

Randy Savage vs. Ultimo Dragon

Elizabeth is here with (NWO) Savage and my goodness this is the kind of rarities I love from WWE. Savage teases a handshake and then kicks him in the ribs as commentary talks about how there aren’t as many old wrestling venues anymore. Dragon hits a dropkick but misses a second, only for Dragon to do his corner headstand. Some rapid fire kicks have Savage in trouble but he knocks Dragon back down. Elizabeth gets in some choking and Savage drops him throat first on the top. The big elbow finishes at 2:30. Not a squash, but Savage was never in any danger.

From what sounds like 1995, Savage says he beat the Zodiac and is ready for Hulk Hogan. Oh and Gene Okerlund’s mustache is crooked. Gene isn’t sure about that one and they’re out.

From 1985, with Savage in the ring with all of the heel managers who had been recruiting him. Savage thanks them for everything they taught him, only to introduce his new manage: Elizabeth. Bruno Sammartino on commentary asking if she’s a movie star is a bit creepy but it put over the idea well.

From a Superstars dark match, January 5, 1987.

Randy Savage/Honky Tonk Man vs. Hulk Hogan/Ricky Steamboat

Well that’s about the facest team that ever faced (and apparently they only teamed six times, mainly on house shows). Jimmy Hart and Elizabeth are here too. Savage throws in a chair and hits the referee by mistake and we start (minus a bell) with Honky Tonk being sent into a boot in the corner. Savage won’t tag in so Steamboat hits a crossbody for two.

Hogan comes in and Savage goes to yell at Elizabeth for some reason, with Hogan throwing him back in for a tag to Honky Tonk. Steamboat chinlocks Honky Tonk and hands it back to Hogan, with Honky Tonk bailing as fast as he can. An atomic drop out of the corner cuts off Honky Tonk’s comeback and it’s back to Steamboat for a sleeper. Savage finally gets in a cheap shot from the apron and now he’s willing to come in with a top rope ax handle.

Honky Tonk’s middle rope fist drop connects and he sends Steamboat outside for a slam on the floor while Savage offers a distraction. Back in and they ram heads, allowing Steamboat to get over for the tag off to Hogan. House is quickly cleaned and Steamboat hits the top rope chop but Honky Tonk shoves him off the top. Savage tries to bring in the bell and throws the referee down for cutting him off, which is enough for Steamboat to grab the bell instead. Savage and Elizabeth run off so Hogan and Steamboat beat up Hart as the match is thrown out at around 11:00.

Rating: C+. Oh like this wasn’t going to be a blast. It’s a match that they could have fun at a hundred house shows as the story is pretty much built in. Hogan could do anything and get cheered to the moon here while Savage and Honky Tonk Man had all of the heat. The match was exactly what you would expect and it didn’t need to be anything else.

From Tuesday Night Titans (Savage is Intercontinental Champion so this is probably 1986) with Gene Okerlund hosting for some reason. There is a doctor here who has been researching great macho stars and now he has done a study on Savage. We get a video of Savage on a psychiatrist’s couch for a word association game. After making sure it’s non-title, we’re ready to go (with the word and then Savage’s response):

Macho – “The Macho Man Randy Savage.”

Interesting – “Oh yes I am!” Then Savage realizes that’s not one of the words and accepts the doctor’s apology.

Pump – “Pumping iron.”

Gun – “Fastest gun in the east, west, south and north.” Why he points down on “north” isn’t clear.

Muscle – “Don’t help me, don’t help me, no problem.”

Belt: “Yeah that’s what I’m going to do to Hulk Hogan when I see him.”

Sweat – “Blood sweat and tears all rolled into one. That’s why I’ve got this.” as he holds up the title.

Kitten – “What women turn into when I look at them.”

Female – “The race of people that admire and lust after the Macho Man. Ask Elizabeth.”

Stud – “You’re looking at him right now in vivid living color.”

Sucker – “Hulk Hogan. That was a good one.”

Animal – “What do you mean animal???” Savage goes nuts at the mention of George Steele and storms off.

Total insanity as usual and I cannot imagine this was scripted in any way. It felt like they just told Savage to go nuts and that doesn’t seem too difficult.

From Monday Nitro, May 6, 1996.

Hugh Morrus vs. Randy Savage

Morrus jumps him on the floor to start and drops him onto the barricade as commentary talks about Ric Flair making Savage nuts. Morrus sends him into various things on the floor and PUTS ON SAVAGE’S HAT, which is enough to start the comeback. Savage chokes him with the shirt over the ropes and the match is thrown out at 2:58. More of an angle than a match, and oddly one of three matches these two had on Nitro over the years.

Post match Savage keeps up the beating and drops the elbow before beating up the referee as lair has driven him this crazy. The cops come in and Doug Dillinger says Savage needs to “check yourself into an institution.” The bell ringing over and over probably isn’t helping his mental state.

Savage kisses an Easter Bunny. Ok then.

From July 30, 1991, a dark match from a Wrestling Challenge taping. Ignore that Savage lost his career back in March at Wrestlemania and wouldn’t be reinstated until November.

Randy Savage vs. Undertaker

From what I can find, their only non-house show match ever. Savage strikes away in the corner to start and hits the big clothesline out to the floor. Undertaker lands on his feet and hits a Stunner over the ropes, with Paul Bearer declaring it all over. Undertaker chokes on the ropes and chokes some more in the air as Bearer says there will be no wedding at Summerslam.

We’ll go back to choking on the ropes and then onto the mat as Undertaker is really varying it up here. Savage fights up but charges into a knee in the corner, setting up Old School. A big running elbow misses though and Savage knees him out to the floor for the ax handle….and we don’t have the end of the match filmed. We saw about 7:00 and Savage eventually won by pin.

Rating: N/A. I won’t rate an incomplete match but it wasn’t anything great. It’s disappointing to not see the ending but I’ll take what I can get. This is the definition of a rarity and something that is rather cool to see, as those two could have done some good things together. Savage was still a few months away from coming back full time and he didn’t get to do much here, but the fans were still with him all the way.

From the ICW or maybe Memphis days, Savage drops an elbow into a pool.

We see some bloopers from the filming of the earlier music video.

From WCW Saturday Night, January 28, 1995.

TV Title: Randy Savage vs. Arn Anderson

Savage is challenging and Anderson has Colonel Robert Parker and Meng with him. An armdrag into an armbar has Anderson down to start and he has to roll his way out of a sleeper. Anderson shoulders him down for two but Savage drops a knee to send Anderson bailing to the floor. Meng’s distraction doesn’t work as Savage elbows Anderson in the face, only to get taken down back inside.

The chinlock has the fans bringing Savage back up but a running elbow drops him again. Back up and they ram heads for a double down before Anderson has to break up another sleeper. They slug it out from their knees as even Heenan is praising Savage for doing anything to win. The fight heads outside with Anderson being posted as we have five minutes left in the fifteen minute time limit.

Back in and Parker gets in a cheap shot, allowing Anderson to grab a chinlock. Savage jawbreaks his way to freedom and knocks Anderson to the floor with two minutes left. Anderson rolls through a high crossbody for two but Savage’s running clothesline gets the same. We have a minute left as Anderson can’t hit the DDT. Parker’s distraction lets Anderson hit a quick suplex but Savage drops him again. The top rope elbow gives Savage the pin at 15:15, meaning that he wins the match but not the title (as the title was only on the line for the first fifteen minutes, an old rule that allowed such finishes).

Rating: B. This got really good near the end as the time limit was becoming a big factor. I was wondering how they were going to get out of this one and I’ll take this over some lame DQ. These two worked well together, which isn’t surprising given how good they were, but you didn’t see them in the ring very often. Good match, especially on free TV.

Post match the Stud Stable comes in to beat Savage down but Dustin Rhodes and Sting make the save.

We get the famous Cream Rises To The Top/Cream Of The Crop promo, with Savage holding up a cup of cream and blames Jack Tunney for Ricky Steamboat being the Intercontinental Champion. He’s coming for the WWF Title.

A quick vignette shows Savage picking up a woman from a bench. The screen behind theme is white so I’m guessing it was part of some bigger video.

From a Superstars dark match, December 4, 1991.

Randy Savage/Jim Duggan/Roddy Piper vs. Ric Flair/Jake Roberts/Undertaker

Well ok then. Piper takes Flair into the corner to start but Flair leapfrogs (!) him and gets knocked to the floor for a breather. Roberts comes in to face Piper (that’s a weird one) but wants Savage. Piper: “You want him? You’re stupid!” It’s off to Savage, who clears Roberts out in a hurry before Undertaker comes in to choke Duggan. The big right hands get Duggan out of trouble (and actually look good on someone as big as Undertaker) but the neck snap over the top cuts off the comeback.

Duggan gets beaten into the corner but again slugs his way out, allowing the tag back to Piper. Flair’s poke to the eye lets Undertaker come back in for some choking, followed by some good old taunting from Roberts. The fans chant USA (for the Canadian born Scottish star) but oddly enough it works, allowing Savage to come in for a really fast comeback. Savage plants Flair and drops the big elbow for the pin at 8:48.

Rating: C+. Another fun match here and that’s what it needed to be. It was an easy way to send the fans home happy with Savage pinning Flair, who was still pretty new at this point. Duggan slugging away was good enough, even if he was pretty low down on the totem pole. This was the kind of random match I want from something like this and it worked well.

NWO Savage is in a parade and references Harvard, which might be him being named Hasty Pudding’s Man Of The Year (it’s a Harvard theatrical group).

Elizabeth brings Gene Okerlund to the pool for a sitdown interview with Savage. He’s very good at wrestling and no he didn’t get rich by “stealing” the Intercontinental Title. Now he wants the WWF Title and hey look there’s an airplane going by and he’s not on it because there’s no title defense up there (that was as random of a Savage moment as you’ll get).

Savage is still ready to come after Hulk Hogan and Gene asks Elizabeth about her recent activities, like golf, tennis and swimming. That lack of attention doesn’t work for Savage,, but Elizabeth gets a phone call, with a “national women’s publication” offering Savage half a million dollars for a centerfold. That’s a no and the publication can wait awhile.

Another call is from Japan, with a promoter offering $400,000 for Savage to wrestle three men. That’s a no as well but he’ll beat all three of them right here for nothing. This was on a Coliseum Video before (probably one about Savage) and it’s still good, with Savage being totally insane and making it work.

From Championship Wrestling, September 28, 1985.

Randy Savage/Jesse Ventura vs. Mike Rice/Mario Mancini

Elizabeth is here too and Savage orders her into the corner. Ventura takes Mancini into the corner for some shots from Savage and a kick to the back of the head. Rice comes in and Ventura drops a leg, setting up the elbow to complete the squash at 1:43.

Post match Ventura gets in a shouting match with broadcaster Bruno Sammartino.

WWF Champion Randy Savage and Elizabeth are in Paris. That’s it.

From Monday Nitro, January 20, 1997.

Savage storms the ring and throws a chair inside, saying he’s been blackballed and isn’t leaving until someone talks to him. He has a seat and shouts that HE’S WAITING so here is Chavo Guerrero Jr., who is scheduled for the opening match. Chavo begs Savage to leave but Savage isn’t budging, eventually taking Chavo out with ease. Chavo’s opponent, Maxx Muscle, comes in and gets laid out as well.

The referee gets beaten up, as does head of security Doug Dillinger. Alex Wright is the next victim so here are the Steiners and the Amazing French Canadians, none of whom are willing to get in. Sting lowers from the rafters (in front of the Chicago Bulls’ championship banners for a great visual) and gets in but Savage still isn’t getting out of the chair.

Sting hits the chair with the bat and then hands it to Savage, turning his back on him for the offer of a free shot. With Savage not swinging, they get out and leave through the crowd. I remember watching this life and it made Savage look like a killer. Then he turned on Sting and joined the NWO, which did make sense but was kind of disappointing as everyone was doing it.

We get a sitdown interview with Savage (looks 1993ish) where he talks about getting the Macho Man nickname during his baseball career.

Savage was in a WWF softball game and, believe it or not, hits a home run.

Gene Okerlund is cut off by Savage talking a million miles an hour, speaking about sprinkling magic dust and never worrying about the future. Savage: “Doing the thing and bang bang!”

From Superstars in 1991, Savage talks about returning to the ring at Summerslam…and then he proposes to Elizabeth. Piper: “GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES!” Elizabeth isn’t sure what to say, but then goes with the only possible answer: “OH YEAH!” This is still one of the best long form stories in WWF history and while it peaked at Wrestlemania, this was a great next step.

From (I’m assuming) Smoky Mountain Wrestling, Savage and Jim Cornette have a go-kart race. Savage destroys him as Cornette screams a lot. Cornette gets out and gets lapped before Savage chases him off the course. More goofy fun.

From….I have no idea actually but it appears to be a rematch from Wrestlemania III, putting it in the spring/early summer of 1987.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

Savage, with Elizabeth of course, is challenging (I think). A lockup doesn’t go anywhere so Savage armdrags him down and points. Back up and Steamboat knocks him to the floor, with Savage needing a breather. Savage comes back in and elbows him in the head, meaning Steamboat goes to the floor for a change. Back in and Savage stomps away, sending him right back outside.

Steamboat gets back in and grabs the small package for the hope spot but Savage is out this time. A high crossbody is rolled through and Steamboat’s head gets tied in the ropes for a….well not really a breather in this case. With that broken up, Steamboat fights back but gets kicked in the face to cut that off in a hurry. Another shot to the face gives Steamboat three but Savage’s foot is in the ropes.

Some rollups give Steamboat two more, with a kickout sending the throat into the ropes. Savage misses a running crotch attack, allowing Steamboat to hit the top rope chop for two. They hit heads for a double down so Savage grabs the belt…which only hits turnbuckle, bouncing back into his face. Steamboat steals the pin to retain at 10:52.

Rating: B. I was worried coming into this one as I’ve seen rematches between them before and they really weren’t very good. This was quite different from what they did at Wrestlemania and that’s a heck of a trick, as it’s a rematch of one of the best matches ever. It was almost weird to see them doing something that wasn’t their classic match, but this was a nice, different direction.

Savage is ready to win the Intercontinental Title from Tito Santana, who is nothing but garbage compared to him. And yes, of course he has a trashcan with him, because Savage is good enough to realize that something that small was memorable. Santana is like a grain of sand in the Sahara desert and Savage is the entire desert.

From Monday Nitro, March 25, 1996.

Randy Savage vs. Belfast Bruiser

Bruiser is better known as Finlay. Savage shoves him away to start but gets caught in an early chinlock. Bruiser’s rough uppercut forearms just wake Savage up and he knocks Bruiser hard to the floor. That’s fine with Bruiser, who drops him onto the barricade and sends him over said barricade for a bonus. Back in and Savage avoids a charge into the post, setting up the big elbow for the pin at 5:06.

Rating: C+. This is a match that would have been rather different once Finlay developed his reputation but for now, it was mostly Savage getting beaten up and then hitting the elbow for a miracle win. In other words, just about all he did around this time. Savage could only do so much with his bad arm and while this wasn’t bad, it never really got going.

We get a quick (as in like ten seconds) rehearsal of Savage’s entrance from Wrestlemania IX with the arena empty for a weird visual.

From UK Rampage 1992.

WWF Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Savage

Savage is defending and has Elizabeth to counter Sensational Sherri. Heenan thinks Savage is either brave or stupid for coming in here on a bad leg. They fight over a lockup to start before Shawn sends him into the corner. Savage gets up a knee to cut off the charge though and Shawn needs a breather. The delay doesn’t work for Savage, who throws in a chair so we can reset things a bit. Some shoulders drop Savage but he’s right back with a clothesline to the floor, setting up a top rope ax handle.

With Savage occupied, Sherri goes after Elizabeth, which is broken up in short order. Shawn is right there for the save and sends Savage into the post to take over. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gives Shawn two and a swinging neckbreaker is good for the same. Savage is back with a shot to the face for two and Sherri is already panicking.

A big knee sends Shawn to the floor for a top rope ax handle, followed by another for two back inside. Savage tries it again but gets punched out of the air, setting up a hard clothesline for two. The superkick (not yet a big deal) gives Shawn two and the top rope fist drop sends Savage back to the floor. Back in and Shawn throws him over the top again, with Sherri getting in a hard kick of her own.

Savage gets back in and accidentally runs the referee over, meaning the top rope elbow gets no count. The referee is pulled back in for a VERY delayed two so Sherri gets on the apron, with Elizabeth shoving her down. Savage hits a high crossbody for two, followed by Shawn grabbing a top rope sunset flip for two. Back up and Savage hits another high crossbody for the pin to retain at 16:15, making me wonder if they didn’t get the right finish on the first one.

Rating: B. I’ve seen this one a few times before and it’s easy to see why Savage wanted to do something big with Shawn. You could see flashes of what Shawn would become later on and Savage was wise to want to be in on that. The match was good and let Shawn get a chance to rub elbows with the legend, which made for a rather nice showcase for both of them.

Post match Shawn jumps Savage again but Sherri’s boot shot misses, allowing Savage to clear the ring.

Overall Rating: A. Oh of course this was great as it’s exactly what I wanted out of something like WWE Vault. It’s a great mixture of stuff I’ve seen before and a bunch of rare/unreleased stuff without going with a bunch of stuff we’ve seen before (Wrestlemania III or IV). This was excellent and a real treat that had me wanting to see what was next, which isn’t a feeling I get very often. Definitely worth a look if you want to see one of the best ever.

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Supertape
Host: Sean Mooney
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Lord Alfred Hayes, Ron Trongard, Hillbilly Jim, Gorilla Monsoon, Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura

So this something else that was added to the WWE Vault channel and as it was a tape I had when I was a kid and watched more times than I can count, I can always go for another watch. It’s a Coliseum Video compilation tape and the first in a series, with the main feature being the No Holds Barred cage match. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence, featuring some big names on the show.

Mooney runs down what we’ll be seeing on the tape.

A fan has requested to see Ronnie Garvin vs. Mr. Perfect. I would hope that his name is officially on a list somewhere.

Garvin says a lot of things seem perfect until something breaks them down. He’s the man to break Mr. Perfect down.

Perfect says he’ll win.

From December 12, 1989 in Nashville, Tennessee.

Ronnie Garvin vs. Mr. Perfect

The Genius is here with Perfect. They circle each other a bit to start before taking turns with some basic knockdowns. Garvin grabs a hiptoss and slam into a big right hand, with Perfect bailing out to the floor. Back in and Garvin hammers away in the corner, sending Perfect bailing back out to the floor. Perfect gets back in and wins a top wristlock before grabbing a headlock.

Garvin punches him back without much trouble and the Garvin Stomp sets up a failed Sharpshooter attempt. The Hennig necksnap has Garvin in more trouble but he’s back up to win a slugout. The sleeper goes on but Perfect gets his foot on the ropes to break up the cover. Garvin sends him into the buckles nine times in a row, followed by a face first ram into the mat for a bonus. A small package has Perfect down but he reverses into one of his own and grabs the trunks for the pin at 10:46.

Rating: C+. This was a good example of a perfectly watchable match which didn’t really do anything spectacular while still being completely fine. Both of them are talented stars and capable having a nice match with almost anyone, with Perfect cheating as he should. I’m not sure why a fan would have wanted to see this, but it was a decent choice.

We get a Manager Profile on Bobby Heenan, featuring Heenan giving some one liners about various wrestlers. The Heenan Family is doing rather well and the Colossal Connection will be Tag Team Champions for as long as they want to be. What else is on his mind? None of your business. This was really quick and not so much of a profile as much as it was “Heenan talks for about 90 seconds”.

It’s time for a tag team profile on the Bushwhackers, with Gene Okerlund driving to a shack in the middle of nowhere where the team is waiting on him. It’s apparently lunch time with Bushwhacker Buzzard on the menu, but we’ll throw it to the first match instead.

From December 30, 1988 in New York City, New York.

Bushwhackers vs. Bolsheviks

This is the Bushwhackers’ MSG debut and it’s a brawl to start, with the Russians being sent into each other for a crash out to the floor. We settle own to Butch (commentary gets them backwards) hammering on Zhukov in the corner and chasing the Russians outside again. Volkoff comes in and grabs a bearhug, which is broken up with a bite to the face. The bearhug goes on again so it’s another bite for another escape.

More biting earns Luke a hard whip into the corner and Zhukov gets to choke on the ropes for a bit. Volkoff adds some hammering forearms and Luke gets caught in the wrong corner. That’s enough to bring in Butch to beat on both Russians…and Luke. With Butch back out, Luke grabs Zhukov’s beard to block a sunset flip and it’s back to Butch. Everything breaks down and Zhukov clotheslines Volkoff to the floor, setting up the Battering Ram. The double gutbuster finishes Zhukov at 9:24. Ignore Trongard calling the Bolsheviks former Tag Team Champions.

Rating: C. The match itself was nothing of course, but this was more about getting the Bushwhackers their first win in an important arena. They were kind of a weird act in that they were more about being quite the odd pairing, but the fans seemed somewhat into them. It helps having the Bolsheviks as an easy target and the match, while fairly boring, was a good way to give the fans a fun time.

The Bushwhackers and Gene have some lunch and go on to a match where Butch says Luke tasted delicious.

From May 17, 1989 in Duluth, Minnesota.

Bushwhackers vs. Brooklyn Brawler/Bad News Brown

Butch and the Brawler start things off with the Brawler going after the eyes. Luke comes in for a bit to Brawler’s jeans so it’s off to Brawler to easily take Luke down. It’s back to Butch for a jawbreaker and Butch gets to hammer away on the Brawler. Again Brown takes over without much trouble and chokes on the ropes. Brawler comes back in but gets dropped by Butch. With Brown arguing with some fans, the Battering Ram and double gutbuster drop Brawler for the pin at 5:40.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t quite the showcase for the Bushwhackers as they couldn’t beat Brown whatsoever and needed a fairly weak finish to take out Brawler. I’m not sure why this would be included over say a squash match as it was beating a makeshift team and not exactly a good one. Not much to this one and not in the best way.

Gene likes the food….but he’s starting to twitch.

From October 8, 1989 in Toronto, Ontario, Canada.

Bushwhackers vs. Power Of Pain

Mr. Fuji is with…well I think you can figure out who he’s with here. Barbarian jumps Butch before the music stops playing but Butch fights out with a headlock. A shoulder exchange goes to Barbarian but Luke comes in to help clear the ring without much effort. Back in and Warlord grabs a bearhug, which is broken up with a bite to the face. The bearhug goes on again but this time Butch makes the save, only for Warlord to knock him outside.

That means a posting keeps Butch in trouble and a big boot knocks Luke off the apron back inside. A running headbutt to the back drops Butch again but a middle rope elbow misses. That’s enough for the tag off to Luke, with back to back Battering Rams taking out the Powers. Fuji comes in with the cane and that’s the DQ at…we’ll say 9:15 as the bell doesn’t actually ring.

Rating: C. They were in a weird place with three straight Bushwhackers matches and this didn’t exactly make them look great. The Powers beat them down for most of the match and then the manager’s interference was needed to give them the win. There is only so much that can be done with a less than serious team like the Bushwhackers, and those limits were on display again here.

Gene has gone full Bushwhacker. More meat is consumed.

Lord Alfred Hayes joins us for The Call Of The Action, which is Hayes watching clips from the Rockers and Jimmy Snuka and naming the moves. It’s nothing great or innovative, but I do like mixing things up a bit, just for the sake of some flavor.

From February 11, 1989 in Boston, Massachusetts.

Rick Rude vs. Tito Santana

This should be good. They pose at each other to start before going to the test of strength. Santana has to power up and knocks Rude into the corner for an early breather. That lets Santana pose and now he wants a test of strength of his own. Instead Rude kicks him in the ribs and grabs a headlock before telling the fans to shut up (with a swear included). Santana fires off some forearms to the ribs and sends him into the corner to stay on them.

The reverse chinlock makes the ribs even worse and Santana drops down onto his back, only to turn into Arn Anderson of all things as Rude crotches him to escape. An atomic drop makes it even worse for Santana as thing slow down a lot. Rude busts out the hip swivel but his ribs give out so we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up rather quickly so Rude goes up top and hits a forearm to the head.

Santana comes back with a faceplant though and the fans are rather pleased in a hurry. Rude cuts him right back down but the ribs are banged up again, allowing Santana to get in an atomic drop (I could watch Rude sell those forever.). Santana pulls Rude’s tights down and hammers away before starting in on the leg. The Figure Four goes on but Rude is right there at the rope for the break. Back up and Santana tries a sunset flip but Rude sits down on him and grabs the rope for the win at 16:44.

Rating: B-. This was starting to get going but the match didn’t really kick it up to the level I was hoping to see. These two would seem like they could have had a heck of a match but it was only pretty good. Santana was little more than a jobber to the stars (albeit a very good one) while Rude was on the way up so the result, even with the cheating, was never really in doubt.

From April 24, 1989 in New York City, New York.

Jake Roberts vs. Ted DiBiase

They fight over a lockup to start and naturally DiBiase bails into the ropes. It works so well that DiBiase does it again…and a third time as well. With DiBiase finally ready to fight, Roberts knocks him into the corner with the bag, freaking DiBiase out to the floor. Back in and we hit the test of strength, with DiBiase oddly getting the better of things. That’s reversed into an armbar, only for DiBiase to go to the hair.

Roberts does it as well and this time the referee catches him, which doesn’t go well. The running knee lift drops DiBiase but the threat of the DDT sends DiBiase outside again. Back in an a quick Virgil distraction (ah that’s why he’s there) lets DiBiase get in a cheap shot to take over. A clothesline and knee drop give DiBiase two and we hit the chinlock.

With that broken up, the fist drop gives DiBiase two more and the chinlock goes on again. We’ll mix that up a bit with the Million Dollar Dream going on instead, with Roberts having to get a foot on the rope. DiBiase tries another chinlock but even Roberts is bored of that same thing and hits a jawbreaker for the fast escape. The short arm clothesline looks to set up the DDT but Virgil grabs the leg. Yelling ensues so Roberts grabs a rollup for the pin at 16:17.

Rating: C. There are certain pairings who you would think would be a good fit together and that was the case with these two. They just did not mesh together and despite being as 1989 of a midcard match as you could get in the WWF, the matches weren’t particularly good. Just a lot of sitting around and killing time, which gets old after a match this long.

Post match Roberts loads up the snake but DiBiase gets Virgil out of the way in time.

Tony Schiavone talks to some fans, who are having fun, hit some catchphrases, and talk about their favorites. Eh they’re not performers so they shouldn’t be good at talking. We do get a question about who would win if Hulk Hogan would face the Ultimate Warrior. As you might expect, the fans are split, which was the whole point of Wrestlemania VI.

From January 2, 1990 in Birmingham, Alabama.

Tugboat Thomas vs. Iron Mike Sharpe

This is Tugboat’s TV debut from Superstars because we were just waiting for the Sailing Superstar. Sharpe bounces off of him to start and can’t get a slam so Tugboat cranks on the arm. A big boot sets up a dropkick (not bad) and the big splash finishes Sharpe at 2:26. He was a star when I was first getting into wrestling, but Tugboat just did not have much outside of “I’m really big”.

From December 12, 1989 in Nashville, Tennessee.

Hulk Hogan/Brutus Beefcake vs. Zeus/Randy Savage

In a cage, Queen Sherri is here with the villains, and this was the match from the No Holds Barred: The Movie/The Match pay per view as WWF tried to get everything they could out of No Holds Barred, which didn’t go well. Beefcake gets in but Sherri slams the door on Hogan before he can get in too, meaning it’s a double teaming to start.

Hogan punches Savage through the cage though and climbs in less than a minute later, making that quite the waste of time. The villains are punched and sent into Hogan’s raised boot in the corner, only for Zeus to send Hogan and Beefcake into the cage. Savage tries to go out but Beefcake catches him, only to have to deal with an invading Sherri. Zeus and Savage start alternating with rams into the cage before going up, which is cut off almost immediately.

They all go into the cage at the same time and everyone is down for a breather. For some reason the referee opens the door, with Sherri slamming said door onto his head. Savage gets the chain that was locking the door and goes all the way to the top of the cage, only to get punched out of the air as Beefcake avoids a bad case of death. Beefcake knocks Savage off the cage and goes out, where he pulls Savage outside too. Hogan Hulks Up, slams Zeus, cuts off Beefcake from offering an assist, sends Zeus into the cage over and over, and drops THREE LEGS for the pin at 9:27 (Jesse: “I don’t believe it, he did it again.”).

Rating: C. It’s not a great or even a very good match, but this was about giving the fans something fun at the end of a taping. That’s something that will always work and Hogan getting to slay Zeus for good and move on was the right thing. Thankfully Savage was in there too, as Zeus on his own would have been a total disaster. As it was, it was little more than a house show main event or something similar, which is ok enough to wrap up the tape.

Mooney wraps it up.

Overall Rating: C. A lot of this is nostalgia, but there really isn’t anything on here worth going out of your way to see. The company was in something of a transitional period here and while it still has some star power, it’s only so good. The two long featured matches are just ok and focusing on the Bushwhackers is only going to get you so far. I’ve seen this tape more times than I can count and while it’s not the worst, it’s really not anything worth your time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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